#weird vampire fic? more likely than you think
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1. If you could be any animal what would you be?
A cat. Let me sink into the green earth and feel the sun on my back.
2. What would you choose in a hurry if you have nothing to wear?
Absolutely a dress- I get complimented on my fashion fairly often but secretly I'm extremely lazy and wear pretty dresses for that reason. It's just one piece of clothing, no hassle with layering, and you automatically look more put together than just a t-shirt or whatever. Also helps me deal with my depression.
3. Are you a witch, vampire, fairy, dryad, siren or mermaid and why do you think so?
A dryad, for fairly obvious reasons if you've read any of my fics. I need ocean and trees and mountains in order to live and I kind of lost it during my 10+ years living inland on the flatland prairie. Trees are my home and my refuge.
4. What is your style?
My style is such that someone looked at me and immediately guessed that I listen to Yaelokre. Foresty, earthy, lots of dresses and skirts, fond of cozy layers and large pockets. I also like weird funky earrings. I have a pair that's a functional lighter on one earring and a functional pocket knife on the other. My hair ranges from being down and well brushed, braided, or a complete mess. I pair the dresses with hiking boots or easy to slip on shoes bc i Despise socks. i treat all dresses as work dresses- once hiked up a mountain in scotland, went swimming in freezing water, and then hiked back down again in my white junior year prom dress. Imagine a cottagecore pinterest board except someone splattered mud on it.
5. Regular milk or plant based milk
Regular milk. Yes, I'm lactose intolerant, no I don't care. my genes will adapt or die.
6. Milk or Cereal first?
Cereal first. Don't normally eat it though bc blood sugar issues.
7 favorite way to kill someone?
in real life? none, i prefer people don't die. in fiction? i kill my characters in the way that would be most cathartic and/or tragic for them in particular. hence why one of my oc's deaths is essentially "choked on glass and his own hubris"
(reposting my previous answer bc you were kind enough to tag me :D)
thankyou for the tag @preposterousray 🖤
get to know your mutuals♡
if you could be any animal which one would you choose to be? (can be fictional) (and you can explain why if you want to) I think I would choose to be a bengal tiger because I have always resonated with them 🐅 <3
what would you choose when you're in a hurry and have nothing to wear?
hm, a black singlet top, fishnet tights and black denim shorts with lace, hair in two spiky buns, eyeshadow and lipgloss, some bracelets and obviously my scoliosis brace but that is a mobility aid lol
are you a witch, vampire, fairy, dryad, siren or a mermaid and why do you think so?
I think either a witch (darkness, chaos, magic, freedom, and power, and animals, besides I’m already into witchery) and a vampire (turning into a bat, flying, supernatural powers, macabre)
what is your style?
idk man I love and admire both gothic fashion and punk-rock fashion. diy, scraps, lace, patches, studs, spikes, fishnets, jewellery, mesh, paint, safety pins, stockings, short skirts and shorts, crop tops, weird hairstyles and makeup, expressing individuality and rebellion and the macabre and unusual — and if I’m being formal then thrifted suit jackets and vampy curly updos ✨
regular milk or plant based milk?
regular milk 🥛
which one do you put first milk or cereal?
milk because I am a psychopath
nah I’m actually kidding I obviously put cereal first I just wanted to annoy whoever was reading this
fav way to kill someone? (idgaf if you never thought of it now you have to think of something and make it at least a bit cool I'm begging)
pull one of their eyes out with my fingers, shove a handkerchief into their eye socket, and then throw them the fuck overboard a ship to drown in the unforgiving sea kaz brekker style
tagging @vilecemetery @rottingangel9 @mossterious @urlocalbone @butterflypython @ball-of-insecurities @sandmoondooh @calder-a @sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast and anyone else who wants to join
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fine line ── l. hs
↳ summary ── heesung's got two problems: (1) he can't sleep, and (2) he's addicted to the 1AM combo of instant ramyeon and coffee milk from his favorite convenience store around the corner. the only thing more consistent than his insomnia? his nightly visits for his beloved snacks (and maybe to glare at the new night shift employee, too). & pstt, spoiler alert: you're the said new night shift employee. and you don't know what's worse: his weird food choices or his apparent superiority complex. either way, if you have to watch him inhale another bowl like it's his last meal ever, you might lose it. but hey, you know what they say—there’s a fine line between love and hate...
↳ pairing ── heeseung x f!reader
↳ genre ── idol!heeseung, e2l!au, strangers to lovers!au, convenience store worker!reader || angst hehe, crack, eventual fluff
↳ ✎ᝰ 15.4k (gasp, she kept it under 20k????)
↳ contains ── so much bickering and banter, reader is kinda sassy and a lil crazy, heeseung is a lil weirdo at first, CRACK (this entire fic revolves around EXTRA HELL FIRE RAMEN PLS), angst, both heeseung & reader can't communicate their feelings & are stubborn as hell, tension tension tension! , deep conversations about life choices lol, cursing
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── IM ALIVE (barely) ! i survived a global expedition (one 12 hr flight) just to come back and face an apocalypse (i got a bug infection and a cold) but dragged myself out of my deathbed (my comfy bed) to finish editing this because i told yall i would and bc i felt bad ghosting everyone for a week LOL apologies (if anyone cares,,,pls tell me u do or i'll cry rn) anyways i hope yall enjoy this one,,,this one was fun to write, it felt very sitcom-y and was lowkey based off of backstreet rookie vibes (only bc it's set in a convenience store). i hope you all enjoy & pls let me know what you think :') thank u for the support & love always <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
It’s simple, really.
Customer service voice on, a smile plastered on your face, greet the customer, scan the item, take their money, bag said item, throw in a half-hearted ‘Have a good night!’
And repeat.
Well, most of the time.
Occasionally, there’s the fun of kicking out a few drunk teenagers looking for a bathroom that you definitely don’t have (yes you do). But otherwise, this graveyard shift at your local corner convenience store?
Total dream job.
You get paid—as in actual, legit money—to sit behind a counter, scan snacks, and feast on your personal holy trinity of microwavable cheesy ramen, peach juice, and potato chips. What could possibly go wrong?
At least, that’s how the manager sold it during your interview. And by interview, you mean the three-minute conversation that went something like:
“Can you work nights?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool, you’re hired.”
No background check, no follow-up questions, not even a glance at your resume. A broke college student with insomnia and schedule flexibility? You were the perfect candidate.
And it’s not like you’re picky. You needed cash, and this seemed like a pretty solid deal. What can you say? College is expensive, and someone’s gotta fund your caffeine addiction and deeply specific (and yet completely necessary, you would argue) habit of playing at every single claw machine game you stumble across.
So yeah. Easy work.
At least, that's what you thought.
Because on the night of your first shift, exactly at 1:09AM, the doorbell gives its friendly little ding, and in walks...something.
Someone?
Whatever it is, it's a walking shadow. Oversized hoodie. Baggy pants. A baseball cap shoved under the hood. A black face mask covering whatever’s left of his identity. You think it’s either a ninja, a celebrity in disguise, or—more likely—a vampire who hasn’t seen sunlight since the Joseon era (you’re leaning more towards vampire).
But more than the wild theories running around in your head, something else piques your curiosity.
Because unlike the other weirdos that usually shuffle in at these ungodly hours, this one moves with true purpose. He beelines straight to the ramen aisle, snags something off the top shelf (most likely the ultra-spicy soup one because, of course, you already have the shelves memorized), and then grabs a bottle of coffee milk from the cold drinks section without even so much as glancing at it.
No hesitation. No second-guessing. Like he’s done this a thousand times before and is now on autopilot mode.
You watch, intrigued. And then—horrified.
Because who in the right mind pairs volcanic spicy ramen with coffee milk? Is that even legal?
You’re barely recovering from your own appalled thoughts before he’s already at the counter, placing his borderline apocalyptic snack combination on the counter in front of you with the same eerie precision he has.
You fail to keep your poker face on when you scan his items, your face scrunching up in disgust.
“Uh,” you shake it off, forcing yourself back to reality, “That’ll be—”
But before you can even finish your sentence, he’s already fishing out the exact amount—three crisp bills—out his back pocket and holds it out for you.
There’s a beat of silence.
You stare down at the money in his hand for a second too long, suddenly convinced this guy practices his convenience store interactions in the mirror or something.
When you don’t show any further signs of moving, he eventually gives up, placing the money on the counter with a quiet sigh, grabbing his ramen and coffee milk, and striding off to the self-service corner like he personally owns the place.
All of this. Without. A single. Thank you.
Wow. Okay. So tonight’s customer is potentially a vampire with a side gig as a professional jerk. Good to know.
You internally scoff at the entire interaction, but—unfortunately for you—you can’t look away. Because this guy? This walking shadow?
You’re weirdly intrigued. Like when you accidentally click on a pimple-popping video and immediately regret it, but still end up watching five more.
It’s a curse.
Out of the corner of your eye (because obviously you’re not staring, you’re just…hyper-aware of your surroundings), you watch him execute his ramen-and-coffee-milk routine with the precision of a man possessed.
Step one: Hot water in the ramen cup.
Step two: Ramen into the microwave.
Step three: Wait for exactly one beep before yanking the microwave door open with alarming speed, as if he's scared to even give the second beep the chance to ring.
Step four: Peel the lid back in slowly—so painfully slow you're about to march over there and do it yourself.
Step five: Insert the straw into the coffee milk—of course, perfectly right in the center. Bullseye.
Honestly? It's all kind of impressive. Horrifying, but impressive.
And, of course, just when you think you might finally look away, because out of sight, out of mind—he slides onto one of the bar stools by the window, right in your direct line of vision. The perfect spot for you to get a pristine view of his back, which, spoiler alert, is completely unhelpful in your personal mission in trying to see even a glimpse of what this guy looks like.
Maybe if you squint hard enough, you can make out his face in the reflection of the store window. Maybe. Just maybe—
Nope.
All you catch is a brief glimpse of his eyes—barely visible beneath his excessive hoodie and hat combination. Even his mask stays glued to his face and you wonder how he even plans on eating his outrageous meal.
But even so, you still can’t look away. What even is that color? And why can’t you look away?
Whatever. It’s just eyes. Totally normal. Everyone has them. Not noteworthy at all.
Except it is.
Because you catch yourself still squinting, hoping the glare of the fluorescent lighting against the window hides your not so subtle mission from him. You’re probably risking retinal damage at this point with how hard you’re trying to decode this guy’s entire identity from literally just his eyes.
You catch another short glimpse of his eyes as he shuffles in his seat and just as you’re trying to piece together why his eyes look oddly familiar—
He looks up.
His eyes catch yours in the glaring reflection of the store's windows, and you freeze.
Abort mission. Now.
You cough—loudly, dramatically—and your eyes immediately dart elsewhere, your hands shuffling on the discounted candy bars displayed on the counter top, pretending to look busy and silently praying he didn't catch you looking for too long.
When enough time passes by, you risk another quick glance back at him, to see he’s now digging into his ramen, head tucked so low you can’t even see his eyes anymore. He’s gone full turtle mode.
You lift a brow.
Weirdo.
A weirdo with an ego. Slurping and sipping away at his crime-against-humanity meal as if he owns the building.
Maybe he's mute. Or a people-hater. Or a cryptid who thrives on ramen and coffee milk instead of human interaction. Maybe I'm being pranked?
You shrug it off, because no matter how hard you try to figure him out, one thing is glaringly obvious: he does not want to be bothered.
And you're not sure if that makes him more intriguing or more annoying.
You’re in the clear. At least, you think you’re in the clear.
After your first weird encounter with Mr. No-Name-No-Face—spicy ramen enthusiast and potential vampire—you’ve begrudgingly adjusted to his nightly visits.
He shows up at 1:09AM like clockwork, grabs his neon red Extra Spicy Hellfire Ramen (yes, that’s the real brand name, and yes, your soul dies a little every time you even have to think about it), and parks himself in the window seat across from your counter like it’s a Michelin-star ramen bar—and not your humble convenience store with a health inspection rating of B+ (don’t ask).
By night three, you’ve downgraded him from potential murderer to mildly annoying ramen connoisseur.
By night four, you’ve decided he’s your own personal karma sent by the universe.
It starts off with the door chime. You don’t even flinch. 1:09AM. Right on schedule.
You don’t look up from the colorful juice pouches you’re restocking. You’re halfway through creating a perfectly symmetrical pyramid display—color-coded, of course—because, clearly, you’ve peaked as a human being.
Behind you, footsteps head straight to the ramen aisle. And sure enough, you peek over your shoulder, and there he is: drowning in black hoodie layers, hood up, mask on, the patron saint of please don’t perceive me. Same old routine, same old—
Wait.
He freezes, mid-reach for his usual ramen on the top shelf, his hand hovering in the air. And then, horrifyingly, he turns.
And looks directly at you.
Your face heats up—probably not as red as the hellfire ramen he was about to grab, but it’s close, you imagine. You find yourself clutching onto the random juice pouch in your hand as if it’s your lifeline before you clear your throat, “Uh—is something wrong?”
He glances from you and back to the shelf in front of him, and for the first time in…ever, he speaks.
Gasp.
So we can cross mute off the list.
“They’re out of my flavor,” he says. His voice is deep, which isn’t surprising to you, given he’s the literal human embodiment of the color black, but it’s also serious. So unnecessarily serious that you almost laugh.
Almost.
Because his tone isn’t just serious—it’s accusatory. As if you personally raided the ramen aisle and hid his favorite flavor for entertainment.
Excuse me?
Your mouth opens then closes, flopping like a fish that now deeply regrets every life choice. The fire rising in your chest is about two seconds away from erupting into a full-blown lecture on how supply chains work, but you keep it in, deciding getting fired on the fourth day probably doesn’t look good on your resume.
Instead, you plaster on a flat, unimpressed look.
“Uh..yeah, it looks like it,” you deadpan, inching closer to where he’s standing to investigate the shelf.
Leaning up on your toes, you scan the shelf for any hidden Hellfire cups, hoping some miracle will save you from continuing this interaction.
Nope. It’s empty alright. Emptier than your will to entertain his dramatics.
“Tragic,” you glance back at him, strategically avoiding eye contact, and settle on offering a shrug. “There are plenty of other flavors. Maybe try…the regular spicy?”
You grab the flavor below his usual one and hold it up as an olive branch, but he cuts you off with a tone that even convinces you that you’re deranged.
“No.”
You blink.
“No?”
“It has to be Extra Spicy Hellfire.”
You blink again.
You wait for the punchline.
It never comes.
This man is dead serious.
You’re standing in the middle of a fluorescent-lit ramen aisle, at your minimal wage night-shift job, at 1:12AM on a random Tuesday, and this guy is dead serious.
And he’s staring at you like this is a life-or-death situation. And judging from the look in his eyes, it’s looking like you’re facing death.
But then, you really notice his eyes. And for a split second—just a split second—you’re derailed from your rising anger.
They’re brown. But not just any brown—the kind of brown that makes poets write bad metaphors. Cinnamon swirls. Autumn leaves. Possibly falling in love in a Hallmark Christmas movie.
But then you blink again, hard, snapping yourself out of whatever ridiculous moment your sleep-deprived brain just conjured. This is not the time. You’re literally staring at, like, three inches of this guy’s face.
And he’s a jerk. Get a grip, Y/N.
“Uh, yeah,” you clear your throat, trying your best to sound professional through your disbelief. “Sorry. We probably put in our shipment request late. But I’m sure you won’t implode by going one night without it?”
You tack on a small laugh and smile at the end of your sentence, hoping to lighten the mood.
He does not smile back.
Not even a flicker.
Instead, he continues to stare at you like you just suggested he eat plain, untoasted bread for the rest of his life.
You want to bury yourself into a hole. Maybe getting fired on the fourth day won’t be so bad afterall.
“I’m sure the regular spicy one is just as good. What’s the worst that could happen?” you offer weakly when he makes no sign of saying anything, and you really hope this guy doesn’t explode in front of you—mainly because you’re not confident in your own ability to explain that situation to your manager.
“I’m not risking it,” he finally deadpans.
Your jaw drops slightly.
“You’re not ris—” you hesitate, debating whether you want to ruin your night further. But you’ve come this far. “You’re being…serious?”
The question lined with your clear judgement hangs in the air between you two, and no amount of fake customer service can mask the expression of disapproval on your face.
His eyes narrow at you as he scoffs, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand,” you tilt your head, your annoyance slowly reaching a boiling point, throwing all professionalism out the window. All you wanted was to enjoy your juice-sorting in peace, not babysit this walking ramen manifesto. “I understand that you’re just picky.”
At that, his eyes flash—sharp, unreadable. “I’m not picky.”
“You won’t eat a perfectly fine ramen just because it’s not named after the ninth circle of hell.”
Silence.
He stares at you with the intensity of someone about to write a strongly worded online review.
Finally, with an exaggerated sigh, he finally mutters, “Fine. I’ll take the mild one.”
You blink at the flavor in your hand—the one that’s clearly labeled in giant, blazing-red, font: Regular Spicy. Then you look back at him.
“You mean regular spicy.”
“Right. Whatever. Same thing.”
He grabs the ramen cup from your hand and stalks off to grab his usual coffee milk, leaving you stranded in the middle of the ramen aisle, questioning every life choice that brought you here.
Before you’re about to mentally spiral, his voice cuts through the store.
“Hello?”
Oh. Right. Your job.
You scramble back to behind the register, quickly moving your hands to ring him up and get him out of here as soon as possible.
He hands you his three crisp bills, and before you hand him his glorified ramen and godforsaken coffee milk, you hesitate, pulling them back slightly. He freezes, his hands hanging in the air between you two.
“You know,” you narrow your eyes as you look up at him, “some people would say thank you for the recommendation.”
His brow arches—or at least, you think it does. It’s hard to completely tell under his stupid hat. Then he fires back—
“And some people wouldn’t forget to restock the ramen.”
Your mouth falls open, your words failing you as he grabs his goods from your hands, heading to the self-serve station to continue his nightly noodle worship as if he didn’t just verbally body-slam you.
Yeah. It’s going to be a long night.
Life is unpredictable, uncontrollable, and chaotic.
Lee Heeseung’s life? Heeseung’s life is that times ten, with an extra sprinkle of what-is-even-happening-anymore?
Between back-to-back choreo sessions, recording tracks at hours that shouldn’t legally exist, and navigating the emotional and physical minefield of constant shows, interviews, photoshoots—you name it—nothing about his life is consistent.
However—
There are two things—two sacred constants—that keep Heeseung from spiraling into total madness.
The first?
Insomnia.
Not by choice, of course. He doesn’t love being awake at 3AM, staring at his ceiling and waiting for sleep to take over. But it’s a loyal companion, like a stray cat that keeps showing up at your house no matter how hard you try to shoo it away. Heeeseung’s insomnia is always there for him, night after night, ensuring he gets exactly only four hours of sleep—with a side of existential dread.
And the second?
Extra Spicy Hellfire ramen and coffee milk.
Yes, it’s a weird combo.
No, he doesn’t care.
This unlikely pairing is Heeseung’s personal slice of heaven he can actually control and choose in a life otherwise ruled by the rest of the world.
Every night, he drags himself to his favorite corner store, grabs his fiery ramen and sweet, creamy coffee milk, and plants himself in the window seat to enjoy his culinary masterpiece in peace.
Then—and only then—can Heeseung catch a few hours of sleep, the spice-induced euphoria lulling himself into a temporary state of calm.
Does he have a problem? Absolutely.
Is he addicted? Without a doubt.
Does he care? Not in the slightest.
Because in a world that demands he change at the drop of a hat, this little routine of his is the one thing that stays consistent.
Well, except for last night.
Because last night, someone dared to disrupt the cosmic balance of his existence. Someone failed to restock his precious Extra Spicy Hellfire ramen.
He had stared at the empty spot on the shelf, the betrayal hitting him like a personal attack. He went home last night only a quarter satisfied from the mild spicy ramen he had settled with.
And the worst part?
He couldn’t stop thinking about the someone responsible.
Now here he is, stepping into the corner store at 1:09AM, ready to make up for last night’s disappointment of an outcome.
Heeseung steps into the brightly lit store, the familiar ding ringing behind him as he enters right on time. He continues his familiar route to the ramen aisle, but not before shooting a quick glance from below his hat toward the counter.
Yup, there she is.
You.
The new graveyard shift employee. The one who dared to challenge his sacred ramen ritual and stared at him like he was a walking poor life choice.
You’re here again. This is five nights in a row. Heeseung wonders if you 1) are insane, 2) have no life, or 3) are purely here just to spite him.
But tonight, he’s prepared. His focus is razor-sharp, his mission clear: Extra Spicy Hellfire and coffee milk. Nothing will get in the way tonight.
Heeseung looks up, exhaling in relief when he spots the fiery red packaging of the Extra Spicy Hellfire sitting innocently on the shelf. There you are.
He grabs the cup (with too much excitement that it should honestly embarrass him), cradling it like a long-lost love, before he makes his way to snag his coffee milk.
Perfect combo. Perfect routine. Perfect night.
Except—
Except, of course, you’re watching him. Again.
He doesn’t even need to look up to know it. He can feel your judging eyes burning into the back of his head like you did the other night—like you’re seconds away from filing a report against his own taste buds.
He doesn’t get it—what’s so strange about ramen and coffee milk? It’s not like he’s dipping the noodles in it. Why you’ve made it your personal mission to antagonize him, he has no idea, but it’s really throwing him off his ramen zen.
Heeseung sighs to himself as he steps up to the counter, making sure you hear the sheer misery in this voice—because, of course, fate has cursed him with yet another encounter with you.
“So…do you actually enjoy these together, or are you just trying to destroy your stomach lining?”
He freezes. Great, you’re talking. So much for a perfect night.
He adjusts his cap to peer at you and that same unimpressed, judgmental look sitting on your face as you lean against the counter behind you. “What’s wrong with my choices?”
Your eyebrows shoot up, “What's right with them? This combo screams, ‘I have unresolved issues I’m trying to boil away with spicy and sugar.’”
Okay, ouch.
Heeseung narrows his eyes, trying to ignore the weird pinch in his chest at how quickly you read him, whether he likes to admit it or not.
“I like them. That’s all that matters,” his voice drips with a certain sharpness, hoping the edge in his tone is enough to make you back off.
You, however, seem entirely unfazed.
“Just trying to help,” you shrug as you scan his items, “looking out for your poor taste buds.”
For a moment, Heeseung considers firing back, but then his gaze catches yours for a millisecond too long as you take his cash and, immediately, he’s wondering—for the hundredth time—if you know.
Do you recognize him?
The thought has been gnawing at him since the first time he stepped into this store and saw you sitting there five days ago. Sure, he’s got his identity pretty much concealed under his borderline clinically insane hat-mask-hoodie combo, but still—most people at least give him a double take, a lingering glance. Something.
But you? Nothing. No flash of recognition. No curiosity. Nothing to indicate you know you’re talking to Lee Heeseung—part idol, part insomniac, 100% ramen enthusiast.
And for some reason, that both annoys and intrigues him.
“Thanks for your concern,” Heeseung mumbles dryly, quickly grabbing the ramen cup and cold drink from your hands.
“No problem,” you chirp just as sarcastically, an annoying smile on your face. “Enjoy your…uh, gourmet meal.”
Heeseung throws you one last glare before shaking his head and stalking off to the self-serve station. He puts the cup down on the counter with a little more force than necessary and pours boiling water over the noodles, glaring into the steam as your voice rings in his head.
What’s wrong with ramen and coffee milk? He scowls. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I definitely don’t have unresolved issues.
But as he steals a glance back at the check-out counter and catches you sorting bills like nothing happened, a weird unease settles in his chest.
He looks down at this ramen, then at the coffee milk.
For the first time ever, he feels…self-conscious.
And now you’re in his head.
Great.
By night six, you don’t know whether to pity the guy or stage an intervention.
The ding of the automatic doors announces his arrival, as usual, at exactly 1:09AM. You know it’s him—Ramen Guy. The guy who you’re convinced single-handedly continues to keep the Extra Spicy Hellfire ramen business float.
You lean against the counter and subtly watch him make his usual pilgrimage to the ramen aisle, internally scoffing to yourself at the weird moment he picks up his ramen like it’s his newborn child.
He’s so weird.
You wonder what kind of person he is outside this convenience store. Does he always make such objectively strange choices? Like, does he wear socks with sandals? Does he mix his cereal with orange juice instead of milk?
Your haunting thoughts are interrupted by the sound of his usual unholy pair of snacks hitting the counter in front of you with a soft thunk. You look down at the items before glancing back up at him with a skeptical look on your face, “You ever think about switching it up?”
Ramen Guy, clearly expecting the snark, doesn’t miss a beat, “You ever think about minding your business?”
“Not really. Boredom makes me nosy,” you shrug. “And at this point, you’re the only thing keeping me entertained at this hour.”
He rolls his eyes so dramatically you’re mildly concerned he might sprain something.
“And I’m starting to think you like judging me a little too much.”
“Wrong. I like judging everyone equally,” you scan his items, then tilt your head. “But maybe you’re a special case. With issues.”
To your surprise, he snorts. Like, an actual, out-loud laugh.
“Says the girl who voluntarily works the night shift.”
Your smirk falters for half a second. He catches it.
Ramen Guy raises an eyebrow, leaning casually against the counter. “What? Too close to home?”
You shift in your spot, “Bold of you to assume I have issues.”
He shrugs, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
You shift the attention back to him. “What about you, then? Why do you keep showing up here, huh?”
At that, something changes. The words in the air, and for the first time, you notice a slight shift in his demeanor—the slight awkwardness in the way he shifts his weight.
Then, after a brief pause, he meets your gaze and throws the question right back at you.
“Why do you keep working the night shift?”
You freeze, putting his items back down on the counter, caught off guard by the reversal. "Touché. But I asked first."
There's hesitation again for a moment, his fingers tapping the edge of the counter impatiently—nervously?
"I like the peace and quiet,” he finally says, and for the first time tonight, he meets your eyes.
For a split second, you’re startled by the sincerity in his gaze and sudden shift in tone—it’s almost distracting. But you shake yourself out of it just as quickly.
"Nothing about Extra Spicy Hellfire and coffee milk sounds peaceful or quiet," your voice softer now but still teasing.
"Okay, Miss Graveyard Shift," he fires back, leaning a little closer over the counter. "Why are you here every night? Do you have a thing for fluorescent lighting and cleaning up after drunk customers or something?"
You don't miss the faint challenge in his voice as you narrow your eyes at him.
Then, you settle for a shrug and take a breath, answering honestly.
"It's flexible. Pays well enough," you start, before looking back at him, and add, almost as an afterthought, "...and I like the quiet too."
It’s an honest answer, one that seems to hang in the air between you two for a beat too long. His gaze softens ever so slightly, and you swear you see something shift underneath that stupid cap of his, but before you can dwell on it, he straightens up.
He places his three bills on the counter, grabs his items, and pauses.
“So,” he starts, his lighter tone breaking the silence, “do you have a name, or should I just keep calling you Graveyard Shift Girl?”
You raise a brow, amused, as you start putting his bills away, “Do you have a name, or should I just keep calling you Ramen Guy?”
For a split second, you think you see something flicker in his eyes—something smug, something entertained. And you don’t know it, but under his mask, his lips twitch, fighting back a faint smile.
“Touché,” he murmurs, echoing your earlier words before stepping back from the counter, items in hand, but lingers just a moment longer than necessary—like he wants to say something else.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he turns towards the self-serve station, falling back into his regular routine.
And you should do the same.
You try to do the same. But as you go back to your usual tasks—wiping down the counter, restocking shelves, pretending to be productive—you find yourself sneaking glances out of the corner of your eye toward his window seat.
He just sits there, just like he always does, stirring his ramen absentmindedly as he stares out into the empty street. And yet, tonight, something feels…different.
It’s nothing. You tell yourself it’s nothing.
Just curiosity. Natural, given how he keeps showing up every night, breaking up the monotony of your shift with his weird food choices and even weirder personality.
And yet—
No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to stop thinking about him—the way he looked at you earlier, the way his demeanor shifted even slightly.
It’s nothing.
Still, your gaze flickers back at him, catching the way his fingers tap lightly against the table, lost in thought. You wonder what kind of things keep a guy like him up at night.
And maybe—just maybe—you’re starting to find his weird little habits endearing, too.
The faint sound of the store’s music plays in the background, the clock ticks, and eventually, he finishes his ramen, tosses his trash, and makes his way toward the door.
And then—he hesitates.
Just for a second. A small pause, a barely-there moment where he stops, glances over his shoulder just slightly—just enough to look at you.
“See you tomorrow, Graveyard Shift Girl.”
You blink, caught off guard, and for a moment, all you can manage is to stare at him. Then, as you fail to ignore the weird blooming feeling in your chest, your words slip out almost on instinct:
"Goodnight, Ramen Guy."
The next night, you do something completely out of character, entirely unprovoked, and maybe just a little bit unhinged—you take your cheesy ramen, peace juice pouch, and bag of potato chips and plop yourself down right next to Ramen Guy and his usual window seat.
He pauses mid-slurp. Keeping his head low, he turns to you slowly. Suspiciously.
“What…are you doing?”
“Having dinner,” you say matter-of-factly, popping open your bag of chips.
His gaze drops to your meal, and then back to you. “It’s almost 1:30AM.”
“Okay? Dinner, early breakfast, midnight snack, call it whatever you want,” you shrug, unbothered as you continue unwrapping your meal.
Ramen Guy exhales through his nose, shaking his head to himself like he’s just accepted his fate. Without another word, he turns back to his own meal and resumes eating.
A surprisingly comfortable silence follows—the only sounds filling the empty store the quiet hum of the store’s playlist, the buzz of the lights above you, and the synchronized slurp of two insomniacs with poor diet choices.
Then, without thinking, you tilt your bag of potato chips, holding it out between you two, “Want one?”
He stops mid-motion, as if he’d almost forgotten you were still here.
Almost.
A glance into your bag, a small shrug, and then, just like that, he grabs a chip and pops it into his mouth, moving so fast you barely catch a glimpse of his face without the mask.
“Thanks,” he mutters before taking a sip of his coffee milk, still keeping his head low.
You hum in response, your fingers drumming against the counter before your curiosity wins the best of you, “So…what kind of life leads you to seek peace and quiet in a convenience store?”
It’s a question that’s been on your mind since last night’s conversation. What can you say? You’re a creature of curiosity.
Ramen Guy shrugs next to you, “What do you mean?”
“Like…you’re here every night. Why at night? Why not during the day?”
He lets out a short chuckle. “You want me to leave?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Sure sounded like it.”
You exhale sharply, your fingers now absentmindedly swirling the noodles in your bowl. “Look, I’m just saying—most people are asleep at this hour.”
He smirks. You can hear it in his voice without even looking. “You’re here too, aren’t you?”
“That’s different, this is my job,” you scoff, amused, before pointedly gesturing at this meal before him, “Unless you want to call your weird habits a job. Which, honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone was paying you to subject your tastebuds to that every night.”
And he laughs. It’s small, barely there, but you catch it. Then, with a quiet exhale, he finally answers, “It’s like I told you before, I like the quiet at this hour…I don’t get a lot of that.”
You stop twirling your noodles, the air shifting into that same unspoken understanding from last night. Faint, but unmistakable.
Something unsaid hanging between the two of you, something that tells you this guy is more than just an insomniac with questionable food choices.
You tilt your head. “So, what, you got a bunch of loud roommates or something?”
A small, almost knowing smile tugs at his lips. “Something like that.”
You raise a brow at his vague answer but don’t press. Instead, you nod towards his food. “And your criminal meals? That part of the quiet too?”
He huffs, “Maybe I just have superior taste.”
“Right, totally,” you laugh, the tone in your voice almost testing him.
Ramen Guy finishes up his meal, wiping his mouth quickly with a napkin before putting his mask back on and finally turning to face you fully.
He narrows his eyes at you, “You think you have me all figured out?”
You mirror his actions, facing him fully for the first time tonight, folding your arms, “Oh, I do have you all figured out, Ramen Guy.”
“Oh yeah?” He leans forward slightly. “Alright, go on. Tell me who I am, Graveyard Psychic Girl.”
You roll your eyes but accept the challenge, leaning back in your seat.
“You’re a creature of habit, clearly. You like consistency. Probably because your life is very inconsistent otherwise.”
Ramen Guy doesn’t react, so you continue.
“You’re a night owl, but not by choice. You want to sleep, but your brain won’t let you.” Your eyes flick down to the coffee milk. “So, instead, you drink this, even though it probably makes it worse.”
Still no response.
“So now, you just keep showing up here because it’s predictable,” you finish with a small shrug. “And maybe…‘cause you’re kinda lonely.”
That makes him pause.
You immediately regret saying it. Because…what was that?
That was too much. Too deep. Too intrusive.
But to your surprise, he doesn’t deflect. He doesn’t scoff, or roll his eyes, or peer them at you the way he does a million times a night.
Instead, he tilts his head slightly, eyes glinting with something you can’t quite place.
“…Not bad,” he says finally, reaching for another chip from the bag in your hands.
You blink. “Wait, really?”
“I mean, kinda harsh, but…mostly true.”
“Oh,” you don’t know what you expected, but it wasn’t that.
A beat of silence passes before Ramen Guy speaks up again, “So basically, you’re saying we’re the same.”
You let out a snort, “Not even close.”
“We both work weird hours. We both like the quiet. We both eat the same convenience store junk food.” He holds up the bag of potato chips before eating another one.
“You just started eating those,” you deadpan.
“Yeah, but I’m still eating them, which means my taste is obviously elite.”
“You literally eat coffee milk with nuclear ramen.”
“Okay, you’re the one who made it weird.”
A mischievous smile starts forming on your face as you snatch your bag of chips back from him, “So you agree your food choices are weird?”
His smirk falters as a small giggle rises out of you.
“Whatever you say, Graveyard Shift Girl.”
The next night, Heeseung does something completely out of character, entirely unprovoked, and maybe just a little bit unhinged—he’s late. It’s 1:30AM, well past his usual 1:09AM show-up time, and the store is Heeseung-less.
He blames late-night dance practice. He also blames Ni-ki for stealing his usual black hoodie—forcing him to spend an extra thirty minutes looking for another one. Not that the hoodie matters, he would argue (yes, it does).
When he finally steps through the door at 1:32AM, the familiar ding barely finishes echoing before—
“Wow,” you drawl from behind the counter, arms crossed. “Tragic. Unbelievable. I was starting to think you found a new place to bother.”
Heeseung snorts, making a beeline for the ramen aisle, “You wish. Wouldn’t want you to get bored without me.”
You let out a dramatic gasp, “Wow. Thoughtful and self-aware. Who knew you had layers?”
Heeseung tries to ignore you, moving to grab his coffee milk. But his lips twitch under his mask, and he’s glad it’s hiding the way he’s failing to fight the smile growing on his face.
When he finally reaches the counter, you push off from where you were leaning against the counter, hands settling on your hips. “Okay, be honest. Outside of this, do you have anything else going on in your life?”
Heeseung raises a brow, completely caught off guard. If there’s one thing he’s learned over the past few nights, it’s that you’re incredibly nosy. And for someone who claims to like working the night shift because of the quiet, you’re absolutely terrible at keeping things that way.
“Excuse me?”
“You mentioned that you work weird hours yesterday,” you gesture vaguely at him. “So, spill.”
His stare remains blank, debating if he can distract you by handing you his three bills of cash (he can’t).
“I do…stuff.”
“Stuff,” you repeat, “Quite riveting.”
Heeseung exhales, “Why do you care?”
You shrug, taking his cash and putting it away. “You must do something interesting. You’re too weirdly confident for a guy who just bums around convenience stores at night.”
Heeseung scoffs. "Weirdly confident?"
"Yeah, like—" You wave around you. "You walk around like you have some big, mysterious purpose. But all I ever see you do is glare at instant noodles and sip milk like a sad Victorian child."
Heeseung shakes his head, letting out a breathy laugh. "Maybe that is my purpose."
Then, he simply shrugs. But there’s something in his gaze—something unreadable, like he’s deciding exactly how much he wants to say.
"It’s hard to explain,” he finally says. “I just…have a weird work schedule.”
"Weird how?"
"Weird as in, I don’t really get normal hours. Always moving, always working. Makes sleep kinda impossible."
You pause, taking in his words. Then, you shift slightly, crossing your arms. "Sounds exhausting."
Heeseung exhales a laugh, leaning against the counter. "You have no idea."
For a moment, a familiar and warm quiet fills the air as the two of you linger, as if waiting for the other to say something more.
And he doesn’t know why, but his chest feels a little too tight—like he’s let you stumble into a part of him you weren’t supposed to see yet.
“Well,” you say quietly, your lips curving into a soft smile that sends a weird jolt through his body that he chooses to ignore. “I’m honored you’ve chosen this fine establishment as your official sanctuary.”
He scoffs, reaching for his items. "Don’t let it go to your head, Graveyard Shift Girl.”
He then turns to head to his usual corner when—
“Y/N.”
Heeseung pauses, turning back at you like an awkward child lost in the middle of a store.
“My name,” you clarify, casually returning to sorting the register’s bills. “A lot easier to say than Graveyard Shift Girl.”
Heeseung gives you a slow nod, something unfamiliar and unplaceable twisting in his stomach as he turns back around.
And when he finishes his meal and leaves that night, he calls out—
“See you tomorrow, Y/N.”
And, this time, he doesn’t fight the smile under his mask when he hears your voice, a little softer, call back out:
“Goodnight, Ramen Guy."
It happens the moment he steps inside.
Heeseung doesn’t even make it past the threshold before a familiar melody drifts through the weak convenience store speakers and to his ears.
Familiar because he’s heard it a thousand times.
Familiar because it’s literally his voice singing the line.
His stomach drops.
Instead of his usual beeline to the ramen aisle, Heeseung turns towards the counter where you’re idly tapping on your phone, oblivious.
The hum of the melody continues, and Heeseung is suddenly too hyper-aware of how loud his own voice sounds in the otherwise dead-silent store.
Panic creeps up his spine.
He moves fast, crossing the store in a few long strides, slamming his hands down onto the counter that divides the two of you.
You jump in your seat.
“Geez—” you clutch your chest, wide-eyed as you take in his very sudden, very urgent presence. “What the hell?”
Heeseung ignores you, pointing above him, “Did you put this on?”
Your brows furrow as you put your phone down, glance up at him, then at the speakers he’s pointing at. You barely register the song before recognition flickers across your face.
“Oh—this? Nah, it’s the store’s playlist,” you gesture towards the iPad behind the counter, currently playing a Current Hits playlist on shuffle. “It’s some group’s new song. Pretty catchy.”
Heeseung just stares at you, mind racing.
You don’t recognize it.
You don’t recognize his voice.
The realization sends relief crashing over him, but he quickly snaps out of it with a brand-new problem—because now he has to decide what the hell to do with this information.
Does he tell you? Drop the act and lay it all out? Would you believe him? Would you even care?
“You okay?” Now you’re staring at him, suspicious. “Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”
Heeseung clears his throat, realizing his stance is way too conspicuous, and slowly removes his hands from the counter to stand up straight, attempting to sound normal, “No reason.”
You squint at him.
Then—
“Oh my god,” you gasp, eyes suddenly lighting up. “Wait.”
His heart stops. Oh, shit. She figured it out. This is it.
“Are you a fan?” you blurt, leaning forward in your seat eagerly.
Heeseung blinks.
…What.
“Oh, you totally are,” you continue, completely missing the way his soul is currently leaving his body. “You came straight to the counter like a man on a mission. Oh my god. Are they, like, your favorite group or something?”
Heeseung has never wanted to laugh and cry at the same time more than he does in this moment.
“Something like that,” he mutters, bringing a hand to rub this temple, because no way this is happening right now.
You beam brightly from your seat, “That’s cute. Who’s your bias?”
At that, Heeseung does laugh—because this is now officially the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to him.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
There’s a long pause.
And then—after a deep breath, a long and heated internal debate, and one last glance at your innocent, completely oblivious face—he finally exhales, looking you straight in the eye.
“This guy,” he says as he hears his own voice ring out through the store. “Because that’s me. That’s my voice.”
Silence.
You stare at him.
You blink. Once. Twice.
Then, after what feels like an eternity—
“…Huh?”
Then you tilt your head. "I'm sorry—what?"
Heeseung watches as your expression cycles from confusion to skepticism to outright disbelief. He braces himself.
"My name is Lee Heeseung," he repeats slowly. "From Enhypen."
Another beat of silence.
Then—because you’re you—
You burst out laughing.
"Okay, Ramen Guy," you snort, crossing your arms. "Very funny.”
Heeseung sighs, "I knew this would happen."
"Because you’re delusional?"
"Because you don’t pay attention."
You roll your eyes, "Oh, I’m sorry, but when in our thriving relationship have you ever given me a reason to believe that you’re actually a famous idol and not just some guy who has concerning dietary habits?"
Heeseung groans.
He regrets everything. He regrets this entire conversation. He could have lied. He could have said literally anything else. But no—he had to be honest. And look where that got him.
"I’m serious," he insists, leveling you with a look.
You stare back at him.
Then, something seems to click in your brain, because you suddenly lunge for your phone.
"Oh, we’re doing this," you mutter, fingers flying across the screen as you type in his name. "Let’s see if—"
You stop.
Heeseung watches as your eyes widen, scanning the images in front of you. Then you look up at him. Then back down at the phone.
Then back at him.
“Take the mask off,” you mutter quietly, slowly holding your phone up next to his face.
With an exhausted sigh, Heeseung does what he’s told and pulls it down for the first time in front of you.
You scan him. Then the phone. Then him.
"You've gotta be shitting me," you breathe.
Heeseung shrugs, "Told you."
You gape at him, your mouth opening and closing.
You don’t know what shocks you more—the fact that a literal celebrity has been standing in front of you this whole time, or the realization that the once-random stranger you used to relentlessly tease has, somehow, always been this ridiculously good-looking all along.
"So…you’re famous?"
"Something like that."
"Something like that?" You shove your phone toward him, your screen now displaying the group’s Instagram page. "You literally have fans. Like, millions of them."
Heeseung cringes, "Okay, you don’t have to say it like that."
"Like what? Like you’re a superstar and I’ve been treating you like a regular guy who can't cook for himself?"
"Because that’s exactly what I am?"
“Unbelievable,” you scoff, shaking your head. “So you sing. You perform. You—commit crimes against humanity with your ramen choices each night.”
Heeseung groans. “Oh my god.”
“Oh my god,” you echo, standing up from your seat behind the counter. “So you’re telling me that every night, an actual, real-life idol has been showing up here, inhaling a week’s worth of sodium, and I—” You pause, eyes narrowing. “Wait. Are you even allowed to be eating this garbage?”
“And are you ever able to mind your own business?” Heeseung counters, now fully regretting this entire conversation.
“Absolutely not, Lee Heeseung, because this is literally the plot of a drama,” you wave your hands in disbelief. “Mystery insomniac convenience store guy turns out to be a world famous pop star—”
“Okay, let’s not get carried away.”
“—and I, the unsuspecting cashier, unknowingly roast him every night like he’s just some sleep-deprived college student instead of a millionaire with talent. Wait—” you then pause again, placing your hands on your hips, staring at him with a newfound judgment. “—you’re loaded, aren’t you?”
Heeseung pinches the bridge of your nose, exasperated, “Why is that your takeaway from this?”
“You are!” you exclaim, your smile widening as you ignore his suffering. “You’re rich and you’re out here eating instant ramen every night!”
Heeseung groans again, dropping his head onto the counter in front of you, “Oh my god.”
Grinning, you bend down to this level. “So this whole time, you’ve been lying to me?”
He lifts his head just enough to glare at you. "It’s not lying. It’s…selective honesty.”
You scoff, straightening up just as Heeseung does, meeting his gaze with an accusatory squint. “That’s literally the definition of lying.”
“Look, it’s not like I planned to make a habit out of this,” he gestures to the store around him. “I came in one night, and then I came back, and suddenly, I had a thing going. Then you showed up and started running your mouth, and—”
“And you kept coming back anyways,” you finish, crossing your arms, a slow, amused smile tugging at your lips.
Heeseung freezes. His mouth opens. Then closes.
“…Yeah.”
A silence stretches between you—charged, almost personal—until you decide to cut through the tension with a smirk.
“What if I play your group’s music over the speakers every night?”
The look on his face is deadly. “You wouldn’t.”
Your grin grows, “Wouldn’t I, though?”
“This is the worst night of my life,” Heeseung drags a hand down his face and turns towards the ramen aisle. “I’m leaving.”
“Aww, c’mon,” you tease, calling out after him and delighting in his suffering. “Also can we talk about how you literally just said you’re your own bias?”
“Shut up.”
You’re still laughing when he returns to the counter thirty seconds later—Extra Spicy Hellfire and coffee milk in hand, cheeks tinged pink.
“Alright, serious question,” you say, leaning in slightly from your seat at the window barstools. “If you had to give up either Extra Spicy Hellfire or coffee milk for the rest of your life, which would you choose?”
Heeseung immediately stops chewing, his chopsticks frozen midair as he turns to you with a look that says you just personally offended him.
“That’s straight evil.”
“You must choose, Ramen Guy.”
Heeseung groans, throwing his head back dramatically. “You can’t just throw life-altering hypotheticals at me like that.”
“Choose.”
He stares at his ramen. Then at this coffee milk. Then back at you.
Then back at his ramen.
Then back at you.
“I hate you, you know that?”
“Aw,” you flash him your sweetest, most infuriating smile. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me. Like, ever.”
Heeseung shoots a glare at you, “I hope your regular spicy ramen tastes like disappointment.”
“Oh, it totally does,” you look down at your own ramen in front of you and take an exaggerated slurp, “It’s just so awful.”
Heeseung’s lips perk up into a smile at your weirdly endearing antics before shaking his head, “You’re a lost cause.”
You giggle to yourself, taking a sip of your own juice when you hear Heeseung, barely audible, suddenly mutter:
“…I’d give up coffee milk.”
It’s quiet. It’s barely there.
Your jaw drops.
“I know, okay?” He rubs his temples as if the decision is actually hurting him. “It’s like choosing between two children. But at the end of the day, ramen is ramen.”
You nod along, pretending you understand the gravity of his heavy decision (you don’t). But still, you smile—because you were the one who got him to betray his beloved coffee milk.
Heeseung takes a sip of it anyway, groaning as he swirls the bottle in his hand. “I hate that you made me think about this.”
“You should be thanking me. Y’know, character growth and all that.”
“More like character damage.”
You grin, victorious, and he just rolls his eyes before pausing for a second to think, then—he nudges his ramen cup toward you.
“Here. Try some.”
You recoil immediately and look up at him with a look that tells him he’s absolutely psychotic.
“Absolutely not.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Why? You scared?”
“No, Heeseung, I just have these things called taste buds.”
He scoffs, shoving the bowl between you two closer. “Just one bite. C’mon, Graveyard Shift Girl, live a little. For me.”
You hold his gaze, suspicious but faltering, because—damn it—he’s looking at you like that. All smug and teasing, head tilted slightly, and it affects you.
And then he moves.
He picks up his chopsticks, twirls them in the bowl, and catches a perfect bundle of noodles before leaning forward, holding them up between you two. He waits.
Your breath hitches. Your eyes flicker to the steam curling from the noodles, twisting in the air between your faces, fragile and fleeting.
Heeseung doesn’t move.
Neither do you.
It’s ridiculous, really. I mean, it’s ramen. But the way the space between you suddenly feels thin, the way his grip on the chopsticks stays steady, his fingers just inches from your lips, the way his dark eyes stay locked onto yours, watching you with something unreadable flickering beneath the usual teasing glint—it feels like time slows down.
You blink rapidly, clearing your throat. It’s fine. It’s cool. You’re overthinking.
Heeseung tilts his head slightly, watching. Waiting.
You let out an exaggerated sigh and slowly lean in to take the bite.
Your lips brush the chopsticks as you close your mouth around the noodles, and for a split second—one charged, unspoken, split second—neither of you move.
Heeseung is so close.
So close.
You can see the soft curve of his mouth, the way his gaze flickers over your face, the way his breath catches slightly like he just realized something.
You’re suddenly painfully aware of the close proximity and it sends a rush of heat to your cheeks. Panicked, you pull back quickly and settle into your seat like nothing happened.
But then you start chewing.
And that’s when you realize—
No, wait. Wait. That heat in your cheeks?
Oh.
Oh no.
Yeah. It’s definitely not because of Heeseung (well, maybe a part of it is).
Because the second you swallow down the bundle of noodles—the embodiment of heat, pain, and suffering all slams into your mouth instantly.
You freeze.
Your brain short-circuits.
And then—
“Oh my GOD—” you choke, slamming your hands onto the counter, your body shaking as the spice courses through your veins.
Your throat ignites, your sinuses clear, and you swear you can hear colors.
Heeseung? Heeseung loses it.
His laugh bursts out of him—loud, unguarded, and completely delightful. He clutches his stomach, nearly hiccuping from how hard he’s laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners, dimples deep in his cheeks.
If you weren’t literally physically dying in this current moment, you’d probably be absolutely too flustered to function at the sight.
“No way—” he wheezes through his laughter,“—are you actually struggling right now?”
“WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, HEESEUNG?!” you glare at him through the tears forming in your eyes as you desperately flail your arms around, searching for your juice pouch. “You eat this voluntarily?!”
“Every night, baby.”
“You’re sick.”
“And you’re dramatic.”
Your hands finally find your drink and you gulp it down as if it’s your lifeline, eyes still watery, throat still burning, lungs barely breathing. But somewhere in the middle of your suffering, you catch yourself staring.
At Heeseung.
At the way he’s still smiling, like he just had the best meal of his life. At the way his eyes sparkle when he laughs, his dimples peeking out like his own hidden secrets, the way his nose scrunches slightly when he’s amused—
Weird.
You blink the thoughts (and your tears) away, shaking it off, and blame the spice, the delirium, and sheer trauma of what just happened.
You clear your throat, sitting back with a desperate huff.
“I hope,” you catch your breath, gesturing to his bowl, “that when you come in tomorrow, we’re all out of this horrid flavor.”
Heeseung smirks, leaning back in his chair as he gives you a knowing look.
“You’d still restock it for me, though.”
Damn it.
Your shoulders slump, and both of you know you’re defeated.
He knows you know you’re defeated.
Heeseung just grins, then, without a word, slides his coffee milk toward you in a silent truce.
You stare at it. Then at him.
His smile grows.
And you accept it.
Begrudgingly.
It’s 1:20AM when you find yourself behind the counter, surrounded by half-unpacked boxes of instant noodles and bottled drinks. The store hums with its usual white noise—lights buzzing above, soft music humming overhead, the low whirr of the coolers.
And Heeseung?
Heeseung is across the counter, perched on a barstool he dragged from across the store, doing absolutely nothing to help.
For the nth time tonight, he flips a soda bottle into the air.
And for the nth time tonight, he fails to land it upright, the bottle clattering onto the counter.
“You’re supposed to be helping me restock,” you remind him, tossing a pack of chips at him.
“I am helping,” he argues, dodging the bag in time and letting it fall flat onto the ground. Great.
You cross your arms, scoffing, “Oh yeah? What category does sitting there and flipping Diet Coke fall under?”
Heeseung finally puts the bottle down on the counter and hums, tapping his fingers against the counter like he’s deep in thought. Then, he flashes you a meek smile, “Moral support?”
You roll your eyes playfully, turning back to unbox another package from the pile stacked in front of you.
Another silence falls between you and Heeseung watches as you go back to your job before he breaks it—
“How do you do this every night? Does it not get…I don’t know, tedious? Boring?”
You freeze in your spot, caught by surprise at the question.
“Hm,” you turn to him, head tilted as you think.
Heeseung glances up at you, intrigued. The way your lips purse slightly, how your fingers fidget absentmindedly with the torn edge of a cardboard box.
You exhale, leaning back against the counter, “Yeah, the hours suck, pay is…alright. And—”
You hesitate. Your gaze drifts toward the floor, fixating on a dent near the register, “—and I think, at some point, I thought I felt stuck.”
Something in Heeseung’s expression shifts.
“I mean, I’m a college student, for god’s sake,” you continue, a small, humorless laugh escaping you. “And I spend my nights serving cigarettes to barely legal teens and cleaning up after ramen spills. It kind of felt like I was just…watching life pass me by, you know?”
Your voice quiets and it’s just the soft hum of the store again. You pick at the box without thinking, fingers grazing over the worn edges, and Heeseung watches you.
Because he gets it.
He gets it in a way that makes his chest ache a little.
Because despite the differences in your lives—despite how he’s constantly moving while you feel stuck—you both know the feeling of watching life slip between your fingers, of wondering if you’re ever going to feel like you belong in it.
Heeseung holds the soda bottle between his hands, rolling it back and forth, murmuring, “Yeah, I get that.”
You glance up at him, making eye contact, but you don’t push.
“But then,” you say quietly, “I started seeing this place differently. Instead of somewhere I was stuck, it became more of a…break. An escape from everything. A breath of fresh air from expectations and routine.”
And that—that makes Heeseung look up.
Because deep down, that’s exactly what all of this has become for him too.
He doesn’t know when it happened—if maybe it was the first night he found the store, maybe whenever you showed up, maybe all the sarcastic exchanges, or somewhere in between all of that—but these late-night visits, these stolen moments in a world that demands from him, have become something steady. Something his.
And he wonders if maybe��maybe you’re the reason for that.
Maybe you’ve been keeping him grounded in a life that never stops moving.
And maybe he’s been keeping you from feeling stuck.
Just maybe.
It’s late. Way later than usual. And Heeseung is still here.
And you don’t know how, but you’ve both abandoned your usual spots—his self-proclaimed window seat and your stool behind the register.
Instead, you’re both sitting cross-legged on the floor behind the register counter, backs pressed against the shelf of over-the-counter medications that you just re-organized, with a laptop and plenty of empty snack wrappers sitting between the two of you.
“See this is exactly my problem with this movie,” you point at your laptop screen, your voice slightly muffled by the gummy bears in your mouth. “One idiot makes one bad decision, and suddenly everyone’s dead! Like, be so for real.”
Heeseung scoffs, leaning back on his hands, “It’s a movie, Y/N. It doesn’t have to be realistic.”
“And I don’t have to pretend this isn’t garbage,” you shoot back as the credits roll, unimpressed. “This is objectively the worst thing I’ve seen.”
“I think I just have an acquired superior taste,” Heeseung quips, his eyes teasing. “Just like with my food choices.”
“Right,” your voice drags out. “Superior delusion, maybe.”
Heeseung shoves your shoulder with his own, and you laugh, the sound natural, unfiltered, and totally at his expense.
As you shut your laptop and start gathering the remains of your late-night snack feast, the conversation quiets for a moment into an easy, warm silence. It’s the kind of quiet that feels good, the kind that’s been happening more lately—something you never would’ve expected that first night you ever saw him enter the store.
Then, Heeseung exhales, stretching his legs out in front of him as he leans back against the shelf, “You know, this might be the longest I’ve sat and relaxed in months.”
You glance up at him, brows raised, “What, you don’t get to laze around on the floor surrounded by junk food with your favorite convenience store worker on a regular basis?”
“Unfortunately, no,” he huffs a laugh. “But I thought a lot about what you said the other night. And sometimes it’s like…”
He pauses and tilts his head back, his eyes following the way the light fixture above him flickers in and out, “Like I’m moving so fast I forget what it’s like to just…be.”
Something in his voice makes you pause in your actions, your hands putting down the miscellaneous wrappers between you.
“Is it hard?” you ask quietly.
He lets out a breathy chuckle from beside you, “It’s…a lot. You’re always being watched, always expected to be on. And even during breaks I’m already thinking about the next thing. The next schedule, next performance, next practice.”
You watch him for a moment, watch the way his fingers tap absentmindedly against his knee, something you’ve started to notice over time whenever he’s lost in thought.
“But there are moments that make it worth it,” he continues, a small smile playing on his lips. “The music, how fun it is to be on stage, the fans. The feeling of performing and knowing people are there because they love what you do. It’s unreal.”
Your own smile unconsciously appears as you listen to him reflect, taking in his words. You never stopped to really think about his life in-depth before—and it does sound like a lot. Like something people dream of but don’t realize the weight of until they’re carrying it themselves.
You nudge his knee lightly with yours, “For what it’s worth, I think you deserve to just exist sometimes, too.”
Heeseung turns to look at you, and for a moment, his expression is unreadable.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you say, reaching into the closest bag of gummy bears to you and tossing one to him. He catches it easily, popping it into his mouth with a grin.
“See, this is why I keep coming back,” he says, chewing. “Gourmet snacks and free therapy.”
You roll your eyes. “Unbelievable. I take it back. Suffer.”
Heeseung laughs, popping another gummy bear into his mouth, before his fingers start tapping his knee again. Then, after a beat—
“You know, I’ve been thinking.”
When you look up at him, he’s already looking at you with a new…something. A newfound sincerity, maybe. Or uncertainty. Or both.
Your eyes meet, and suddenly, he visibly hesitates—shifting almost awkwardly in his spot, as if he both rehearsed what he’s about to say and yet has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He clears his throat, breaking eye contact.
“I—um,” he swallows hard. “I’m sorry? For, y’know, being kind of a jerk when we first met. I think I was pretty…” He trails off awkwardly. “Jerk-ish.”
You don’t move for a second. Slowly, one brow arches.
Heeseung thinks he regrets everything.
Then, a smile—slow and sweet—curls at your lips.
And suddenly, Heeseung realizes he doesn’t regret a damn thing.
“Oh, absolutely,” you say, nodding along dramatically. “You were a menace. Like, an insufferable, grumpy, little menace.”
Heeseung lets out a noise that lands somewhere between a groan and a laugh. “Okay, I get it.”
“But,” you continue, locking eyes with him again, “I guess I should apologize too.”
Heeseung perks up, now his brow lifting, “For what? Finally admitting I was right about—”
“For judging you and your still…very questionable choices.”
“Ah, there it is.”
You giggle, nudging him with your elbow before pausing.
“But seriously…you’re, like…” you dramatically draw out the moment as if the words physically pain you to say.
Heeseung smirks, leaning in slightly, waiting for you.
“…pretty cool, I guess.”
A slow, satisfied smile spreads across his face, “I’ll take it.”
“Don’t let it get to your head,” you scoff. “You’re still a ramen-addicted jerk.”
Heeseung hums, still smiling, “Might be too late.”
Then, he tacks on, without thinking twice, “You’re pretty cool, too, I guess.”
You laugh at the hesitancy in his voice, “Okay, that sounded almost sincere.”
He rolls his eyes, but his smile softens, “No, but seriously, it’s…nice. Having someone I could talk to outside of…you know, my whole chaotic life.”
The sudden shift in the air quiets you for a moment as you look at Heeseung, noticing the slight drop in his shoulders, the way his fingers continue to drum against his leg. When you don’t say anything, he continues.
“I don’t…really talk to people like this,” he quietly says, as if admitting something to himself more so to you. Then, after a pause, he glances back up, eyes searching your own. “Now like how I do with you. Like…I could tell you anything and everything, really.”
Your breath catches, but you keep your expression neutral, “Oh?”
Heeseung shifts, looking down at his hands before exhaling a quiet laugh, “Sorry. Too serious?”
You find yourself quickly shaking your head. Because although, yes, most of your interactions with Heeseung are filled with jokes and teasing, the serious conversations or shared warm silences in between recently—have started to mean something more. They’ve become an outlet, a quiet escape from reality. It’s like the moment he steps through the store’s doors, the door rings, the outside world fades, and for a few hours, it’s just the two of you in this shared space.
A space that feels safe, untouched by expectations, where both of you can just be.
“No,” you say, softer this time. “Not at all.”
You hesitate for a beat before adding, “I…really like talking to you too. It’s—” you let out a small laugh, “almost unnaturally easy, actually.”
Heeseung doesn’t respond right away. He just nods, and then looks up at you from the ground and his eyes are serious—no teasing, no usual smugness, just something…real. Vulnerable.
Something that makes your heart beat a little too fast.
You should say something. Something light, or something sarcastic, or something normal.
But you don’t.
Because you’re too busy looking at his face.
Then, without thinking, his lips.
And he’s looking at yours.
You don’t know who leans in first, but suddenly, you’re close. He’s close. Too close. Close enough to hear his quiet inhale. To see the way his lashes flutter. To feel the space between you two thinning into something dangerously nonexistent.
You should move. You should break the moment before it turns into something neither of you can take back.
But you don’t.
And he doesn’t.
And then—
Ding.
The sound of the automatic doors sliding open shatters the moment.
You both jolt apart like a pair of teenagers caught guilty, and your heart is practically breaking out of your ribcage as you scramble to your feet, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants, your face burning as you appear from behind the counter to greet the customer that was blissfully unaware of whatever was definitely not about to happen behind the counter.
You clear your throat as you look down at Heeseung, who’s still frozen in his spot and trying his very best not to lose his mind, “I should—um. Go back to work.”
Then, suddenly, Heeseung stands too, nodding quickly as he runs a hand through his hair, his face slightly pink, very much not looking at you, “Right. Yeah. Work.”
Right when you turn back to the counter, the customer is there, waiting for you to ring them up. You plaster the most normal smile you can muster, scan their snack, take their cash, and hand them their change—all while pretending you don’t feel Heeseung’s presence still lingering behind you.
You don’t turn around, and he doesn’t move.
And despite the complete lack of physical contact, you still feel his warmth. The same amount of warmth as when he was only mere inches away from your own face.
The door chimes as the customer leaves.
Then, finally—Heeseung clears his throat.
Hesitantly, you turn around, bracing yourself.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, avoiding your gaze before forcing out, in the most casual voice he can manage—
“So, uh—same time tomorrow?”
You blink.
Then, finally, you let out a small laugh, “You’re so weird.”
The tension in the air cracks just enough, and Heeseung exhales a quiet laugh, “And yet, you’d miss me if I didn’t show up, wouldn’t you?”
You open your mouth, ready to argue, except—nothing comes out.
Because, unfortunately, you know he’s right.
And he knows he’s right.
So, naturally, instead of admitting defeat, you suddenly grab a rag from behind the counter and start aggressively scrubbing at a perfectly clean surface.
“Go home, Ramen Guy.”
Heeseung just grins, shoving his hands into his pockets as steps out from behind the counter and backs away. “Night, Graveyard Shift Girl.”
When he’s finally gone, you’re left standing there, staring at where he just was before you.
And finally, when the reality of what just happened fully settles in—
You groan, dropping your head against the counter.
Because now he's in your head.
Great.
The clock above you ticks, a sound that usually fades into the background and becomes a part of the store’s white noise. But tonight?
Tonight, it’s your biggest freaking nuisance.
You think if you have to hear it tick one more time, you’re taking the ladder from the backroom, climbing up there, yanking that thing off the wall, and tossing it right into the dumpster.
Why?
Because, it’s 2:21AM.
2:21AM, and you’re alone. Stuck in this sad, empty convenience store with nothing but your own annoying thoughts and the snacks laid out in front of you with no one to share them with.
Same time tomorrow, my ass, you think bitterly, aggressively straightening a stack of receipts near the register that don’t even need straightening.
Heeseung’s voice from a few days ago still rings in your head—completely, and unfortunately, uninvited.
You don’t even know why they’re stuck in there, his words looping around, constantly taunting you.
The worst part?
His words had been entirely untrue.
Because it’s been three days.
Three full days since Heeseung has walked through those automatic doors, plopped down in his usual seat, and proceeded to either a) annoy you, b) argue with you over his food-related crimes, or c) make you laugh against your will.
And you don’t know why it’s bothering you so much.
Frustrated? Yeah, you’re frustrated. But the real question is—at what, exactly?
Frustrated that he just disappeared without so much as a heads-up? No warning?
Or maybe you’re frustrated at the very fact that you’re even thinking about this at all.
It’s not like he owes you an explanation. It’s not like he belongs to this store…or to you.
So why does it feel like something’s missing every time you glance at the entrance, half-expecting to hear the ding of the doors and see him stroll in with his stupid hoodie and even stupider smirk?
You shake your head, trying your best to snap yourself out of it.
It’s fine. You’re fine.
You don’t care.
You don’t care so much that, for some reason unbeknownst to you, your brain—your traitorous, overthinking, hardworking brain—itches with a thought.
A stupid, ridiculous, subconscious thought.
And before you can fully even process what you’re doing, your fingers are already unlocking your phone, your thumbs moving on autopilot as you do something you swore you wouldn’t.
You search up his name.
It’s pathetic. It’s sad. Even you’re disappointed in yourself.
You told yourself you wouldn’t associate Heeseung with his job, with the persona that everyone else sees. Because to you, Heeseung is just…Heeseung—the insomniac who bickers with you every night, who somehow turns every conversation into an argument he has to win, who sits cross-legged with you behind the register eating spicy noodles and giving objectively bad movie recommendations.
And to him?
Well. You thought that to him, you were just you. Just some convenience store worker he happened to befriend. Someone outside of his world, outside of the blinding lights. Someone he didn’t have to be anyone around.
His words echo in your mind as you think—just a person he could tell anything and everything to.
You push the thought along with their feelings down as you continue scrolling—quick, desperate, your fingers flying over your screen, swiping through posts, comments, anything that could explain his sudden absence—
And then.
You see it.
A tweet.
Tagging his group, followed by a message. It’s short. Sweet. Simple.
Yet entirely soul-crushing.
“Can’t believe they’re leaving for tour already tomorrow! So excited to see them in a few days!!”
Your breath catches.
Your eyes flicker over the words again.
And again.
Leaving. For tour.
Tomorrow.
Your stomach twists violently as you scan for more confirmation, your hands gripping your phone with a newfound frustration as you tap through articles, fan accounts—anything to tell you this isn’t real. That there’s some mistake. That you didn’t just foolishly spend three days waiting for someone who was never going to show up.
But there it is. Everywhere. Right in front of you.
Confirmed dates. Cities. Posters.
Heeseung is leaving. Tomorrow.
And he didn’t say a word.
You don’t know how long you sit there, staring at your screen. The words all blur together, but the sinking feeling in your chest is sharp, clear, and undeniable.
And you hate it.
You hate that you feel like this. You hate that your first instinct wasn’t to be happy for him, or proud, or even remotely understanding.
Instead, you’re angry. Upset. Hurt.
And what you hate the most?
You know exactly why you feel this way.
And just as that realization settles in—just as the blur of your feelings finally sharpens into something unmistakable, something you can no longer ignore—the familiar ding of the automatic doors cuts through the quiet store and the screaming thoughts in your head.
You almost don’t look up.
Almost.
But then you do, and your stomach drops.
Because there he is.
You blink, because at first you think maybe you’ve been drowning in your thoughts for so long that you’ve started hallucinating him—manifesting his presence out of sheer frustration towards him.
But, no.
Heeseung stands there, at the entrance, hands shoved into his hoodie pockets, looking at you like nothing’s changed.
Like he hasn’t been gone for days, like he hasn’t left you suffering with your own emotions—like he hasn’t been the only thing on your mind even when you really, really, didn’t want him to be.
“Hey,” Heeseung nods at you casually, walking over to his usual stupid aisle, grabbing his usual stupid Extra Spicy Hellfire, then reaching for his usual stupid coffee milk—all like clockwork, all like he never left.
You don’t respond.
Instead, you busy yourself—wiping the spotless corner of your counter, smoothing out a crumpled receipt, pretending you’re looking for something in the shelves beneath you.
Anything to keep yourself from looking at him.
And you might actually lose it.
Because if you have to stand here and pretend like you’re fine, that these past few days haven’t felt like an eternity for you—you might actually lose it.
Heeseung finally walks up to the counter, places his things between you, then pauses before repeating, tilting his head, “Hey?”
He shifts slightly, waiting for you to acknowledge him.
You don’t.
A beat passes. Then another.
“You mad at me or something?” he asks, his head still tilted, his voice light, hesitant.
You inhale, your fingers subconsciously tightening around the edge of the counter.
Then, you let out a quiet laugh—an empty, humorless scoff.
“Should I be?”
Heeseung frowns, clearly confused, “What?”
You finally look at him. And you think it was a mistake. Because the second you meet his gaze—uncertain, searching, so annoyingly familiar—you feel your throat close up.
He looks the same. Same stupid hoodie. Same messy hair. Same tired eyes that you’ve somehow come to find comfort in.
And that makes you hate this even more.
“Is this because I haven’t been showing up?” Heeseung tries again, a small, teasing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Damn, I didn’t realize you’d miss me that much. Sorry, Graveyard Shift Gi—”
“When were you going to tell me?”
Your voice is quiet, but he doesn’t miss it.
And he stills.
There it is.
He shifts in his spot again, his eyes now darting down to where his fingers are tapping against the counter.
“What?” he says again, but this time, it’s different. Careful.
You swallow, forcing down the lump forming in your throat, forcing yourself to look at him.
“When were you going to tell me you were leaving?”
It’s soft. Barely above a whisper. But lined with something raw, something vulnerable, something hurting.
And Heeseung hears all of it. He feels all of it.
He doesn’t answer. He just stares at you, lips pressing into a thin line.
Somewhere in the background, the clock continues ticking, the lights overhead buzzing, a song from the speakers humming.
And Heeseung stays silent.
“You weren’t,” you murmur, the words caught in your throat. “Were you?”
Heeseung exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair, “I—”
He stops. Starts again.
“It’s not—it wasn’t—”
You cross your arms tightly, more so to ground yourself more than anything.
He lets out a quiet, frustrated laugh, shaking his head.
“Look,” he gestures vaguely, between you, at the store, at the shelves, at the space you’ve unknowingly carved out for him here. “This—this is the only thing that’s felt normal for me in a long time.”
Your stomach twists.
“Everything else—my whole life, it’s all…chaos. But this?” He swallows, his eyes finally looking up to meet your gaze, his voice quieter now. “You?”
His eyes flash with something new, something softer, something that lingers in the way he looks at you. The same way he has over late-night snack feasts, whispered movie nights, conversations that blended into the early mornings.
“You’re the closest thing to normal I’ve had.”
And somehow, that makes it worse.
Because you get it. You know him, so you understand.
But it doesn’t change the fact that he was going to leave without telling you.
You inhale slowly, your heavy gaze holding his.
“So what?” your voice is still quiet, but now edged with a new sharpness. “You thought if you didn’t say anything, it wouldn’t have to be real?”
Heeseung presses his lips together. “I thought maybe if I didn’t say it, I wouldn’t have to lose this yet.”
Your breath catches.
You want to laugh. You want to cry.
Heeseung didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to ruin this.
Whatever this is.
Whatever the two of you had built over the weeks between instant noodles and snacks, between arguments over food choices, between all the unspoken moments that made you feel like maybe, maybe, this was something more.
You let out a wavering breath, shaking your head, “That’s not fair, Heeseung.”
“I know,” his voice is rough now, like he’s tired of saying it. Like he’s already told himself a million times and accepted it. Like he wants you to just accept it and move on.
But you can’t.
“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know how!” His voice rises in frustration, an exasperated sigh slipping out. “Because you—this—whatever this is, it started feeling real. Too real. And I just didn’t want to fuck it up, alright?”
The words knock the air out of your lungs.
Because suddenly, everything you’ve been trying so hard to ignore, every feeling you’ve been trying to convince yourself wasn’t there, is suddenly painfully undeniable.
And worse than realizing how real this is?
Knowing that Heeseung knows it, feels it, too.
But heavier than that realization is the anger.
Not just at the situation.
Now, at Heeseung.
“So you thought it’d be better to just disappear instead?” Your voice shakes, biting down on the thick emotion rising in your throat. “You didn’t even think to tell me.”
Heeseung steps closer, and for the first time tonight, you see it—his own frustration bubbling beneath his surface, the barely restrained emotion.
“What does it matter, Y/N?” his sharp voice cuts through the heavy air lingering between you. “What difference would it—would you—have made? It’s not like this was ever going to change anything.”
Your heart stops.
At that, you falter, and Heeseung sees it.
He sees the way your eyes move away from his. He sees the way your posture suddenly deflates, as if his words physically hurt you.
Because they do.
Because you know what he’s saying.
He’s leaving. And you’re staying.
And no matter what, no matter the amount of realness, no matter what either of you feel—that was always going to be the reality.
“Right,” you finally say, your voice dangerously close to giving out. “Because it’s not like any of this really meant anything, right? At least not enough for you to acknowledge.”
Now your words hurt.
Heeseung winces. His jaw tightens. His fists clench.
Then finally—
“…I don’t know,” he mutters.
The final crack.
You let in a sharp inhale, nodding once, your lips pressed into a straight line. “Got it.”
Heeseung clenches his jaw, like he wants to take the words back, like he wants to fix whatever just broke between you.
Instead, he exhales, stepping back from the counter, “I should go.”
This time, you don’t stop him.
You don’t say anything at all.
Heeseung hesitates for a half second, like maybe—just maybe—he’s waiting for you to say something.
But you don’t.
Not when you feel so utterly lost in everything you’re feeling that you can’t even begin to put into words.
So he nods once, shoving his hands back into his pockets, turning away.
The automatic doors slide open.
The ding rings, taunting you.
Cold air rushes in.
And then—he’s gone.
And you?
You’re left at the counter, staring at his abandoned cup of ramen, untouched coffee milk, and the ghost of something that never got the chance to be.
Heeseung doesn’t think.
He wasn’t thinking four days ago, when the space between you two had grown impossibly small—when he was this close to you, when the air felt thick with something unspoken, yet undeniable, something that made his pulse race and his breath hitch.
He wasn’t thinking when he let fear creep in, when the weight of him realizing his own feelings sent him running, keeping him from stepping foot into the store at all. For three days.
He wasn’t thinking when he looked you in the eye last night and told you this didn’t matter. That none of it ever did.
He wasn’t thinking when he walked out of the store, leaving you to think that you didn’t matter to him. That you never did.
And he definitely isn’t thinking now, when he’s supposed to be leaving for the airport in an hour, but instead—his feet pound against the pavement, tearing through the empty, quiet streets like a man possessed, like maybe if he runs fast enough, he can outrun the regret clawing in his chest.
The cold air stings against his face, streetlights flicker overhead, and the city hums all around him—but none of it matters. None of it even registers.
Because all Heeseung knows, all he cares about, is getting to you.
Because Heeseung?
He can go months on tour without his Extra Spicy Hellfire ramen.
He can go months on tour without his coffee milk.
He can go months on tour without those, even if it means braving his insomnia.
But what he can’t go without?
Heeseung can’t—he won’t—go months on tour knowing you think you meant nothing to him. That you didn’t bring him relief after the longest days, laughter when he forgot how to find it, comfort in a world that never slowed down for him.
That you weren’t the one thing that felt real in a life that so often didn’t.
And if there’s even the smallest chance to fix this—to make sure you know—then nothing else matters.
The neon glow of the convenience store sign comes into view, and Heeseung’s heart lurches in his chest as he approaches, his staggered breathing visible in the cold air in front of him, his hands clammy.
He stumbles through the sliding doors, the familiar ding barely registering in his mind as his eyes dart around—only for his stomach to drop.
The counter is empty. The soft sound of your absentminded humming, the teasing lilt of your voice, the annoyed glare in your eyes—it’s all missing.
And all wrong. Too quiet, too empty, too…not you.
Instead, some guy he’s never seen before glances up from behind the register, staring at the way Heeseung just lingers frozen near the entrance.
“Uh,” Heeseung swallows thickly, his voice strained from his sprint. “The girl who usually works nights. Is she here?”
“Oh, Y/N?” the worker raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, she called off tonight.”
Heeseung stills.
You’re not here.
You’re not here.
And it’s his fault.
Because last night, you were here—waiting, hoping, and he walked out on you.
“Oh,” is all Heeseung can manage before he feels the words getting caught in his throat.
His jaw clenches, his stomach twists. The weight of regret settles deep, heavy and unrelenting.
“Right. Okay. Thanks,” he mutters, nodding absently, then turns towards the door.
The automatic doors slide open.
The ding rings, taunting him.
Cold air rushes in.
And just as Heeseung steps out—
He sees you.
You.
Right there, walking towards the store, hands shoved into the pockets of your coat, face buried into your scarf.
You stop.
He stops.
For a moment, neither of you move. Neither of you breathe.
The neon glow of the store’s sign reflects off your face, casting a shadow over your widened eyes. A car honks in the distance. A gust of wind blows past.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Heeseung says without thinking, almost breathless.
A small laugh escapes your lips, airy and uncertain, “Yeah, well…neither are you.”
You’re right.
He should be on his way to the airport. Bags packed, schedule set, moving on.
But instead? Instead, he’s here, standing in front of the only person who has ever made him hesitate.
Heeseung takes one step forward, “I was looking for you.”
You tilt your head, your lips pressed together like you’re weighing something in your mind.
Then you take a small step forward.
“And now you’ve found me.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry.”
It comes out all at once and rushed, but utterly honest. Honest and heavy, the way it’s been aching in his chest—and he can’t hold it in anymore.
You blink, unmoving.
“I’m so sorry,” Heeseung says again, stepping closer. His voice is steady, gentle, but nervous, scared you won’t believe him. “For everything. For not telling you. For leaving like that. For being a completely fucking idiot about—”
He stops. The look in his eyes is vulnerable, genuine. Longing.
“About this. Us.”
You don’t say anything right away, just watching him carefully.
Heeseung runs a hand through his hair, letting out a dry laugh as he realizes he’s about to lay everything out bare.
“I think I was scared,” he admits. “Of what it all meant. Of what you meant to me. I kept telling myself none of it was real, that it didn’t matter. But then I walked out yesterday and, I realized—”
He swallows hard, looking at you and the way your eyes soften with something unreadable.
“It does. You do. So, so much, Y/N.”
Another pause.
Then, you let out a soft exhale, shaking your head, as if something’s finally clicking into place, “I’m sorry too.”
Heeseung’s eyebrows burrow in confusion.
“For not—,” you sigh, your hands now fidgeting with the ends of your scarf. “For not saying something sooner. Because the truth is, I’ve been denying it too. I didn’t even realize how much I—how much you meant to me until I saw you last night and…”
You trail off, your cheeks warming. Then, with a deep inhale, you take another step closer, meeting his gaze from an arm’s length away.
“I was just so angry and upset, but I think…I realized it’s only because I like you, Heeseung. So much.”
Heeseung swears his heart stops. It feels like his whole world has just shifted, and all his thoughts are tangled up in the way you’re looking up at him now.
“And…I should’ve been more understanding,” you add softly. “I shouldn’t have held it against you like you owed me something. I was just hurt, and I didn’t know how to handle it, honestly.”
Heeseung doesn’t say anything right away, not when his thoughts are running wild and his heart is beating like it’s about to fully grow legs and escape.
Then, he exhales a breath of relief.
And lets out a quiet laugh to himself.
You blink at him.
“We’re both idiots,” he says finally, shaking his head softly.
A small, knowing smile dances on your lips, your eyes locking onto his, “Yeah. Looks like it.”
The tension eases. Just a little.
Heeseung takes a small step closer, close enough that he can feel the warmth radiating off of you, despite the cold air surrounding you both.
“So now what?”
You tilt your head as you look up at him, eyes searching his, “Aren’t you supposed to be catching a flight soon?”
Heeseung’s breath hitches.
Because he knows he should say yes.
That’s what’s been planned all along. That’s the reality.
But, for the first time—
He hesitates.
“Maybe."
Your eyes narrow slightly, a playful glare sparking in them, "Maybe?"
Heeseung exhales a quiet laugh, running a hand through his hair, his fingers lingering at the nape of his neck. "Yeah. Maybe."
The warmth in his chest spreads when he sees the way you bite back a smile, the way your weight shifts just the tiniest bit closer—like you're testing the space between you.
Then, you reach into the tote bag slung around your shoulder and pull something out.
“Here.”
You press a small bottle of coffee milk into his hands.
Heeseung stares at it in his hands.
Then at you.
And you’re looking at him with something gentle—something that makes his chest tighten in the best way possible, something that makes the world feel just a tiny bit warmer.
“Just in case you need a reminder,” you say, your voice light and grounding. “Of what’s normal.”
Heeseung stares at you for a moment, and suddenly—everything makes sense.
The missing piece clicks into place as the static in his mind all fades away, leaving only this—only you.
You, standing here in front of him, looking at him with that small, steady smile, and Heeseung knows.
He's never been more sure of anything in his life.
A laugh escapes him before he even realizes it, soft and breathless, bubbling up from somewhere deep in his chest, where warmth curls all around it, wrapping around his own heart like a quiet, undeniable truth. His heart races and his fingers tighten around the bottle in his hands—slightly trembling, not from nerves, but from the realization of something so much bigger. Something so much realer.
And then, without even thinking, he steps forward like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and closes the small space between you before wrapping his arms around you. He pulls you in, slow but certain, with a gentleness that catches you by surprise.
You freeze, breath catching, but only for a second. Because then—like a reflex, you melt into him, your own arms tightening around him.
Holding onto him just as much as he’s holding onto you.
Neither of you say anything.
There’s a quiet calm between you two—no need for words, just the rhythm of your heart beating against his own. Steady, calming, like it’s syncing with his, like they’ve always known each other’s pace.
Like they’ve been moving in tandem all along, even when neither of you realized it.
And in a way, maybe that’s just how it’s always been with you two—balancing on the fine line between pushing and pulling, between sharp words and lingering glances, between pretending you didn’t care, yet feeling everything all at once.
So easy to cross, so easy to blur, so easy to mistake for something else.
Maybe you spent all this time thinking you were standing on opposite sides, only to realize you were always moving toward the same place.
And now, as one of his arms moves across your back, the other threading gently through your hair, holding the back of your head against his chest like he never wants to let you go, his heartbeat still steady against yours, you know for certain—
You were never meant to stay on one side.
You were always meant to cross it.
Life is unpredictable, uncontrollable, and chaotic.
Lee Heeseung’s life? Heeseung’s life is that times ten, with an extra sprinkle of what-is-even-happening-anymore?
However—
There are three things—three sacred constants—that keep Heeseung from spiraling into total madness.
The first?
Insomnia.
Not by choice, of course.
The second?
Extra Spicy Hellfire ramen and coffee milk.
Yes, it’s a weird combo. And no, he still doesn’t care.
And the third?
You.
And honestly?
You’re the only one he really needs.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! if you made it to the end, i'll ship u some extra spicy hellfire ramen & coffee milk rn ! <3 luv u mwahmwahmwah !
<3, addie
m.list here!
tag list pt.1 (luv u all):
@xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaaah @heejamas @jiyeons-closet @sagegreenhairclip @betda @ineedsomezzz @motherscrustytoenailclippings @bussolares @soobnuuy @deluluscenarios @chrrific @vvenusoncasual @rairaiblog @mwahvvis @lveegsoi @desssss-0 @hoonkishoe @sunhyeswife @ilovbeshotaro @dearestdreamies @starry-eyed-bimbo @planetmarlowe @lovialy @ambi01 @elairah @therealmrsbahng @lov4hoon @hollxe1 @lovenha7 @ilovhoonie @coqhee @i03jae @letwiiparkjay @manuosorioh @mintysunoo @amiraazzz @renaishun @enhadd @ikeulove @starniras @heartheejake @zaycie
(bolded didn't let me tag, sorry :( )
#enhypen#enhypen heeseung#heeseung#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#lee heeseung#enhypen angst#enhypen crack#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha scenarios#enha#engene#enhypen lee heeseung#heeseung fluff#heeseung angst#heeseung fanfic#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#──── ✎ᝰ.ᐟ⋆⑅˚₊fine line!
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BLUR. | N.JM (M)
SYNOPSIS: Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face and hungover was one thing. Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face, hungover and in a bed that wasn’t your own in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that were obviously not yours, was another and a punishment specifically made for you—your own personal hell.
CONTENT WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. dub-con, Jaemin’s a freak and a little fucked in the head, afab!reader, (ex)boyfriend’s best friend, sex under the influence of alcohol, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), sex-tapes, nudes (but make it artsy), face/throat-fucking, dirty-talk, mild possessiveness, mild obsession, smidge of fluff surprisingly, voyeurism and exhibitionism (kinda?), open-ended.
WORD COUNT: 7.5K
note: first of all, happy birthday to one of my favorite leos, Jaemin 💖 idk how many times i’ve looped the song but i think it was enough for me to come up with a fic inspired by it 💀 originally, this was supposed to be posted sooner but hey! Better late than never! Heed the warnings i beg if you don’t like the sound of this then please, you are absolutely free to click off! Other than that, please enjoy the filth ~
“You’re every single thing that I deserve. Maybe that’s too boring. ‘Cause I might say some thing you’ve never heard. Like I did last night, what a blur.” — Blur by Lolo Zouaï

You
hyuck
oh my fucking god HYUCK
WAKE UP
haechan
ugh woman WHA T
You
HELP
haechan
?? are you dying
wait where did you even go last night?
i didnt see u anywhere after like
well i dont remember
You
home
haechan
.
ok how tf am i gonna help with that
You
but its not MY home
and im pretty sure i slept with whoever took me here
haechan
😟
i’ll be at ur place
“Jesus—the guy try to eat you or something?”
You winced, covering the marks left by whoever fucking psycho thought they were a vampire.
Seriously, was all that really necessary? Leaving obvious bite marks and bruises to the point it looked like an animal attempted to maul you beyond recognition? Anyone with a functioning brain would obviously veto that idea in a heartbeat. Anyone with a modicum of chivalry could have stopped themselves from making your neck look like it did.
You were a contributing member to society and the thought of facing endless questions about your otherwise wild night out, at work of all places, was mortifying enough as it is. You had places to be. You had people to meet.
One of those ���people you had to meet’ happened to be Donghyuck. A constant presence in your day-to-day life and was essentially your best friend. Your ride or die. There should be some bias for one another when it comes to this friendship built from finding each other in bathrooms of college parties with either one’s head stuck in the toilet bowl.
You’ve literally seen each other at your worst, but Donghyuck was a Gemini first through and through. You weren’t one to succumb to the belief of stereotypes, yet Donghyuck proudly wore being two-faced like a badge of honor. He was your best friend, but he was also your worst enemy and never would he miss the opportunity in making you squirm underneath the palpable judgment swimming side-by-side with the curiosity alight in his eyes.
“Does it look that bad?” you asked quietly, just as curious, but leaning more towards your own reassurance.
The loud, grating laughter he let spill past his lips was enough to tell you that, yeah, it’s pretty gnarly and the likelihood of you getting some weird looks was at a moderate high.
“All I’m saying is—” he said then cleared his throat, “—is you’re gonna have to like, use half a tube of your best concealer.” he jeered, taking his time to assess the damage with an amused twitch of his lips before picking up the remote.
Case in point.
Although Donghyuck spoke the truth and nothing but the truth, that didn’t stop you from flicking his ear in retaliation as the last thing you wanted to ruin your mood was Donghyuck’s super helpful (read: useless) input. As if he was any better. You couldn’t count the number of times he found himself in ‘sticky’ situations that even the most promiscuous of people would cover their mouths, scandalized at the many many recounts of (questionable) conquests of getting his dick wet as many times as he could.
(That’s not to say you were completely innocent. Your sexual appetite was at a healthy mid to high. Donghyuck was just shameless. You, on the other hand, were not).
The wounded noise from Donghyuck went ignored as you stood up, stretched your arms up high and headed to the kitchen to get something into your empty stomach.
Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face and hungover was one thing.
Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face, hungover and in a bed that wasn’t your own in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that were obviously not yours, was another and a punishment specifically made for you—your own personal hell. A thing to note was the sweatpants were from a brand that you haven’t even heard of. Ever. Either this guy’s a fashion snob, or he’s filthy fucking rich, though something in you persisted that he was probably the latter.
No. Scratch that. It’s a hundred percent the latter.
You’ve been here before. Sober during those very few times, to be frank, and you desperately wished that you didn’t know who lived in this pretentiously decorated bachelor’s pad.
You thought waking up in a stranger’s bed was bad? Try waking up in your ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s bed with no recollection of what happened last night. Trying to remember was proven useless when the memories were all but blurry, flashing images you couldn’t for the life of you sharpen with the power of your mind—that was still recovering from the hangover—alone.
It really wasn’t the best morning. It was arguably one of the worst.
Seeing one of his cats perched on top of the highest point of the cat tower in the far corner of the bedroom was already a bad omen in and of itself, slanted eyes locked on your every move and she (you had a faint idea that this was one of his girls) even followed you to the bathroom! Which, okay, wasn’t that awful considering she hadn’t meowed or hissed at you in warning (yet).
All the cat did was hop onto the marble counter of Jaemin’s bathroom, sat back primly and watched you get rid of the accumulated grime on your face before going crazy with the array of skincare the man had out in the open. It was really his fault for leaving you unattended.
Speaking of Jaemin, he was nowhere to be found.
There were no signs of him even as you padded into the wide expanse of the living area. No signs of life in the kitchen either aside from the two other cats Jaemin had in his care and strangely enough, they too didn’t seem to be alarmed by your presence. You’ve only been here a few times with your then boyfriend, Jeno. Played with them a little too. Maybe the cats had sharper memories than you gave them credit for.
All of that aside, Jaemin’s absence was a huge relief on your part. Being drunk five margaritas in around him was embarrassing though still salvageable by a brief but genuine apology. Conversing with him was rare, sure, but the few conversations with him were adequate for you to lump him with one of the good ones.
Yet.
Yet.
This—being in your ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s fucking apartment of all places—felt like there was more to what you initially thought could have happened that made you stay the night.
It’s been so long since you’ve last seen your ex, much less Jaemin, as he wasn’t exactly one to go out as often, but your alcohol-addled brain had momentarily lost its grasp on the supposed built-in survival instinct that you let yourself get whisked away by him.
Possibly let him have his way with you (in your drunken haze) as you thought back to the mild soreness in between your legs.
Whatever the possibilities were, you had no luxury to narrow them down right now. Not when you had bigger problems.
You had to get out of here. Fast.
“Holy shit.”
Was what you heard the very second the grilled cheese and bacon sandwich you planned on sharing was placed on the plate.
At first, you didn’t think much of Donghyuck’s exclamation. Dramatics were his thing and you were used to being subjected to them so often that you barely blinked when Donghyuck followed it up with a sharp gasp. You were just about to write it off as ‘none of your business’—unlike Donghyuck who made sure to make his business everyone else’s—when what he said next made you pause.
“Y/N, you have got to see this.”
Now adding you to the mix got your attention. Picking up the urgent yet intrigued intonation from Donghyuck’s demand was enough to put brunch on the back burner as you rushed back to the small living area. The TV was put on mute. It was the first detail you noticed before pinning your gaze onto your best friend still on the couch and you immediately knew something was wrong with the way his shoulders almost touched his ears from sitting too stiffly.
Donghyuck had your phone in his hand when you sat down beside him which wasn't exactly new to you. He somehow figured out your pass-code (“it was your birth date,” Donghyuck clarified. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out. What do you have against Face ID anyway?”) and you couldn’t find the energy to change it. It wasn't like you had anything to hide. You lived a pretty uneventful life, completely juxtaposing with whatever he had going on at his end, so you didn’t really mind the nosiness.
One look at his face, however, made you reconsider the leniency towards your privacy.
Donghyuck had this innate talent of pissing off people by his many facial expressions alone. He looked like the cat that ate the canary; probably planning on swallowing it down with cream to egg you on further and you just know whatever he had to say—or show in this case—was bound to raise your blood pressure to new heights.
“What,” it was meant to be a question, and the annoyance that managed to creep into the mono-syllable was amusing enough to Donghyuck that the annoying grin grew into almost splitting his face in half.
You rolled your eyes so hard that you wondered why you weren’t stuck staring at your brain from how often you did this at his expense. “Seriously, what?”
Donghyuck silently handed your phone over, still looking like the devil’s incarnate that it was almost an eerie resemblance, yet you still humored him.
You soon found that there was no humor in this situation.
All the budding annoyance had come to a screeching halt the moment your phone found its rightful home in your grasp.
From your abysmal screen-time, you should be used to its lightness, yet the device felt heavier than it should. It was like having the weight of the world in your palms and what’s worse, you could feel your blood running cold in real time as you peered down at the small screen leering right back at you, taunting you.
What greeted you was the opened camera roll that somehow accumulated pictures upon pictures of you stripped down to your most promiscuous state of undress. The sight was daunting to say the least that some crazed part of you thought your phone had become sentient; goading you with each flick of your thumb to scroll through them, further stripping you of your modesty. As if it was a digital flip book of yourself, illustrating you and one of you rare conquests of hunting down warm body to fuck around with.
The sheer amount of them was almost laughable, just imagining the person on the other side of the lens doing their absolute damnedest in making sure no small detail was out of place; that you came out debauched, yet still gorgeous enough to overlook the depravity of their nature.
You weren’t sure if this could be compared to nudes. Not when there were some traces of artistry behind each photo that if you were less than sane, you would have your thanks at the ready for making the vision—whatever it was—come alive with an iPhone camera.
There was a joke begging to be voiced out somewhere. A joke your best friend would immensely appreciate knowing it was centered around you and your bad decisions, however, that thought was quickly forgotten when something else caught your eye.
A video. Videos, you’ve come to find out as you scrolled further. Almost never ending with the amount that it was overwhelming compared to that of the photos lacking depth and movement.
The state of the thumbnails didn’t help ease the heavy feeling in your gut either.
Each and every single one of them could very well belong on the number of porn platforms you were vaguely aware of. They left nothing to the imagination where you could just tell what obscenities you—namely drunk you—were up to despite having no recollection of this ever happening. Just how much alcohol did you let in your system that you blacked out the entire night? This was one of the many mysteries that will continue to haunt you unless you get some clarity soon.
It would be a lie if you said you weren’t the least bit curious of your own drunken thought process (you were still processing what you were seeing, actually) and it was obvious your best friend was just as curious, impatiently so that he snatched your phone back, chose one form the myriad of video clips and pressed play, all under a second or two.
“Dude, what the fuck?” Donghyuck earned an elbow to his side for his haste, but all he did was shush you and moved the phone closer for a better view. As if an almost seven-inch screen could grant a cinematic experience, but you’ll take what you could get.
“There you go.”
And there you go, body locking up the moment the awfully familiar, deep and roughened voice came out of the phone’s speakers.
A simple sentence spoken with a cadence so sluggish that you had to fight hard to remind yourself that he didn’t always sound like he was forcing you to unravel with his words alone. Jaemin just had this peculiar habit of putting half the effort into enunciating his words almost to the point where he sounded lazy and you assumed it was the alcohol that made this habit of his more pronounced than ever.
The alcohol turned him into someone, hell, some otherworldly being that the more you heard him speak, the likelihood of a blood vessel popping due to how wound up you’ve progressively become was at a high. It was downright ridiculous how instantaneous the effect was, and what followed would soon have you internally begging to be smite by God himself.
“It took you three tries to swallow me down without gagging.” Though you couldn’t see him, there was, no doubt, a smile on his face, listening to his delivery alone. All sharp and condescending that you couldn’t help but wince at the immediate reboot of your brain where you could vividly imagine the scrape of his teeth along your throat—specifically the places bruised with the indents; marks of his canines being the most prominent.
At least you got to confirm just who the ‘wild animal’ was behind the damage to your neck, yet you still couldn’t map the exact thought process justifying Jaemin’s carelessness.
“You’re that eager to please, aren’t you?”
Jaemin sounded like he was demanding an immediate answer, but there was just one problem.
He wasn’t going to get anything from you. How can he when his cock restricted you from talking? The most he was going to get was a series of garbled noises, just like the wet squelches from fucking into your mouth.
“Of course you are. I can see why Jeno kept you around for as long as he could.” Jaemin chuckled, moving his hand from where it previously rested on top of your head to cup your jaw. “Feeling full, huh?” and you could hear how smug he was, laughing quietly when all you could do was whine when his fingers tightened their grip on your bulging cheeks, no doubt wanting the wet heat of your mouth to squeeze around his dick tighter, or feel how imposing his size was for the sake of his ego.
“I could barely fit in your mouth a moment ago,” the groan he let out was deep from within his chest, guttural as if he was fighting to keep himself controlled while bullying himself deeper into your willing (?) throat until you gagged around his girth, shaky hands scrambling to find purchase on his thighs as if to keep yourself grounded. “Now here you are, taking it like it’s nothing. Like you were made for this. All you needed was a little push, didn’t you, baby?”
It took real talent to come off as an asshole through voice alone, and Jaemin was nothing short of talented. He really did fit the narrative. It’s always the ones with the (admittedly) pretty faces that have something to hide under the false pretense of pleasantry, and it just so happened that the ‘thing’ Jaemin wanted to keep under wraps was how much of a scheming freak he actually was.
Back then, you were just part of the majority who was ignorant to what lies underneath. Now here you are, experiencing Jaemin’s depraved fantasies first hand.
You should have known. The signs were quite literally there with the way he looked at you all night before you were consumed by the effects of alcohol. Even in the sea of people crowding the club, you‘ve managed to catch the intensity swirling in the darkness of his eyes stuck on you no matter where you ended up.
Jaemin was there. In the corners. In the shadows. Jaemin was everywhere. Watching and waiting to strike.
That thought alone should have been enough to unsettle you right to your very core, yet all it did was raise questions. Tons of them, considering this had been going on before you even got together with your then boyfriend, Jeno. You had thought that perhaps Jaemin had harbored some type of protectiveness over you seeing you got to know him first, but your prior naivety didn’t let you think much on it further. Not when you were swept up by the sweeter than sweet smiles and soon entranced by a pair of eyes that put the winking moon to shame.
Nevertheless Jaemin still kept a watchful eye, bid his time carefully and now that his best friend was out of the picture, perhaps it was the perfect time to strike.
And that he did, leaving the photos and videos behind in his wake.
“Jaemin?” Donghyuck hissed, completely ignoring the obscene noises blasting from your phone on full volume because apparently he wasn’t immersed enough with it half-way up. Where your apartment provided decent acoustics to amplify the sound. “Jaemin Na? Your ex's best friend? That Jaemin?”
You held your face in shame and groaned, trying to make it seem like you weren’t the least bit affected by Jaemin’s own mix of pleasured sounds going hand-in-hand with your muffled desperation. “Say ‘Jaemin’ one more time and I’ll punch you in the throat.” Your face was hot to the touch and you didn’t want to know just what you looked like to Donghyuck.
The memory of last night was faint, yes, but it did overwhelm you all the same to the point where you were starting to tear up from sheer embarrassment.
Donghyuck, ever so keen, caught the sign of distress and composed himself. “You were with Jaemin last night?” He asked, whispering.
“Oh, I don’t know,” you answered, sarcasm weighing heavily on each syllable as you aimed your grimace towards the video still playing (seriously, how long was it?). “Is that just my face deep-faked onto some poor random girl? You tell me.”
His pleased expression twisted at the snark, lips parting to refute you with the same vitriol until a rather loud, impossibly hard to ignore moan tore through the impending tension.
Both of you looked down just in time for Jaemin to pull out of your abused mouth with a wet, disgusting sound and lord, not only did he have an impressive size, his dick was pretty too. Pretty in a way it shouldn’t be, but it’s like Jaemin was solely born to go against what one should expect in men and their anatomy, which wasn’t much to begin with, let’s be real. Guess the universe did have its favorites and what misfortune it was that it had to be you stuck with one of them. Literally.
It was like a sick punishment pushed onto you, being faced with the harsh truth of Jaemin having his reasons backed up and giving him free reign to act and talk like he was the shit. His hands were just as big as everything about him from his stature to his personality. Made it seem like his cock was nothing to gawk at until you—you in the video—shuffled closer, having it stand ramrod straight right in front of your face.
As if the Jaemin in the video heard you, he laughed as he brought the camera closer to his cock and your face in tandem. You could tell he was getting close, the labored breaths and jostling of the footage were obvious signs amidst the borderline frantic strokes.
“Open up, sweetheart,” he grunted, tapping your puffy lips with his cockhead. “and stick your tongue out for me, will you—yeah. That’s good. Perfect. You’re perfect—fuck!”
Thick ropes of pearly white painted your face as Jaemin let out a loud, drawn-out moan, forcing more out with rough strokes and most of it shooting into your awaiting mouth. You kept your eyes open for the entirety of it in spite of the obscene amount of cum dripping from your cheeks, nose and even an eyebrow. In fact, there was so much of it that even Donghyuck voiced his own astonishment right when you swallowed, only to pry your lips open once more and leave Jaemin to milk himself until the very last drop, not letting any of it go to waste.
It seemed you did good with the forethought, Jaemin making his appreciation known with a soft coo as if he wasn’t spouting filth while you were literally gagging for it.
God, you looked absolutely destroyed.
And eerily enough, sex-tape!Jaemin finished off the thought with a breathy, “you’ve never looked better.”
Inky tear-tracks of your mascara marred what was once the smoothed canvas of your face. You took much care in making sure your makeup was almost flawless and it was a shame that Jaemin thought the complete opposite and decided that smearing your lipstick along your mouth with a gross mix of your spit, tears and his cum was much more entertaining—as if this was all just a sick game to him; a game of how long would it take to strip you off of your dignity by making a mess out of you. Twice.
“Fuck. You look…” Jaemin trailed off as he held you by the jaw, damp skin easily caving underneath his fingertips to keep you in place and took his time to admire his masterpiece. It was deceptively tender, the way he went about tilting your head from side-to-side that just as you thought this was where the humiliation ended, realizing the extent of what you had done last night, the debauched version of you decided to speak.
“How—how do I look?” You slurred. Round, glazed up eyes peering up in earnest and that was all it took for Jaemin to let your phone tumble from his grasp in favor of hauling you up. The footage was all sorts of skewed, but by some odd law of physics involved, it made sure to show how Jaemin went in for a kiss that was all sorts of messy and heated, not minding the fact that he could taste himself with every push of your tongue against his.
He pulled back just for a moment, letting out a breathy chuckle and the last thing you heard before the video saw its end was a hoarse, “beautiful. Gorgeous. Unreal. Mine,” before it stopped and jumped back to show its thumbnail.
You let the both of you marinate in the silence that followed afterwards, with you gathering your wits as your worst half gently placed your phone down onto the coffee table.
“Oh my god.” you settled on saying, completely mortified.
“Oh my god.” Donghyuck repeated, sounding all too gleeful.
It almost looked like Donghyuck was impressed with what happened in the past five minutes when you slowly turned to face each other. “Wow,” he drawled, immediately raising your hackles at the god-awful sight of his self-righteous smirk. “and I thought I was the slut between us two.”
“Oh, you still are,” you bit back, not letting him get the upper-hand. “Three people in one night? I’m surprised your dick’s still attached to you.” or that he didn’t contract an STD for that matter, but small miracles could be given to anyone, you supposed. Even to a menace.
“You know what they say, the ‘s’ in slut stands for ‘safe’!”
“Literally no one has said that.”
“I literally just did.”
You dead-panned. “Get out.”
“You’re so boring,” he whined, getting up to head to the kitchen to probably gobble up the grilled sandwich you had made. “Well,” the muffled continuation said just as much. “maybe not since you fucked your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Who would have thought you’d let Jaemin hit?”
You whirled around to glower at him, half for eating what was yours and half at his disguised jeering. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Y/N, I’m a dude,” he said slowly, like you were stupid. Maybe you were. “We can tell when a guy is interested.”
“You think Jaemin’s into me?”
Donghyuck’s initial reaction was to arch an eyebrow as he paused mid-chew, again, as if he could not believe you were this slow on the up-take. It was starting to piss you off, honestly, that he knew something you didn’t and was just waiting for you to piece everything together.
“You couldn’t tell?” He only gets an unimpressed stare to get on with it which he shrugged at. “Nevermind, you were too busy making googoo eyes at Jeno to pay attention. That worked at least, ‘cause soon enough, you were hanging off of his arm.”
You huffed, conceding with a roll of your eyes. “Fine. You got me there.”
Donghyuck scoffed, “‘course I do. Seriously though, we thought that you’d end up with Jaemin. He’s usually straight-forward with things like this, but since Jeno was there… well, y’know, bro-code or whatever the fuck.” He took a generous bite from the sandwich before placing it back down on the plate and dusting his hands from the crumbs. “Thing is though, he never really stopped looking at you? I’m sure you know how shameless he is with staring.”
Knew? You’ve caught him staring a handful times in the past and his shamelessness knew no bounds either. Not once did Jaemin appear remotely embarrassed meeting your eyes as he would smile each time, hold the eye contact for longer than what you would deem appropriate before moving his eyes elsewhere, and you knew that in no time, his gaze would be burning holes into your back again.
You’ve grown used to it anyway. It was strange, yes, but Jaemin never really did anything beyond what could make you uncomfortable. Even Jeno laughed it off when it was casually brought up during your past conversations, not really bothered by his best friend’s odd quirk.
“I can’t blame him,” you remembered him saying. “You’re really beautiful. I’d probably consider looking at you as one of my favorite past-times.” and safe to say, you did appreciate the comment, and Jeno definitely appreciated the soul-sucking blowjob you gave him if the strings of praises tangled with the ‘I love you’s’ were anything to go by.
None of that was relayed to Donghyuck though. Your knowledge on the matter wasn’t his business, nor did you think it was that of a big deal. So what if your ex-boyfriend’s best friend liked to keep his eyes on you? That didn’t mean anything. Just like what happened last night didn’t mean anything. It didn't have to mean anything.
It was a one-time thing and you were certain that it’ll take the Earth’s revolution around the sun to see him again. Perhaps never, if you played your cards right.
And watching your own sex-tape (accidental, or not) with Donghyuck won’t happen ever again when you made the mistake of trailing your eyes downwards.
You were very far from impressed, scowling at him. “I can see your dick through your pants, Hyuck. You’re gross.”
He at least had the decency to appear sheepish from you pointing out his body’s reaction. “Oh don’t like you weren’t the least bit turned on from that too.”
You flipped him off with both hands, face burning.
Donghyuck cackled and then waved you over to finish half of the sandwich.
Clearly, there was something in you that refused to see the bigger picture.
You couldn’t help it. You weren’t exactly one to get swept up in the assumptions made by you or the other people in your life that had their rare times of indulging the delusions that came hand-in-hand with them. And that’s all they were. Harmless assumptions and delusions that would be forgotten by the end of the day. Sooner, if you could help it.
So why were you sitting in the middle of your bed, obsessively scrolling through the videos taken from last night?
Perhaps you could blame it all on the insatiable curiosity that never really left even as Donghyuck said his farewell an hour or so ago.
Jaemin’s motive for filming last night’s drunken rendezvous was still—is still—no doubt, a mystery. Starting from why did he use your phone? It would have made much more sense if he used his. There was the possibility that it might have been his phone and had the forethought of airdropping everything to you for reasons unknown, but with a quick check of the details, nope. It was yours. Jaemin’s phone model was the newest one on the market, while yours was at least two years due for an upgrade, pretty much debunking your theory.
Which landed you in this position, looking through your camera roll for any hints that could shed light on his possible motives. Anyone who would find themselves in this dilemma had every reason to be angry. It was normal to feel outraged going through what you did last night and you could only pray to whatever higher being was up there that no one else knew what went on and if Jaemin had his own duplicates.
But—well. Anger was far from what fueled all this. Confusion more like and it only grew when you skimmed through the videos until one caught your eye.
This time, it was you holding the phone, your grasp being significantly shakier, but Jaemin didn’t mind. Not when he was rather preoccupied with his head stuck in between your quivering thighs, eating you out to his heart’s content. No, really. It was like he made it his life’s mission to give you the best head of your life with the way you were letting out a cacophony of pleasured sounds to which Jaemin looked particularly proud off, evident with the way he was leering at you through the screen.
Jaemin had always come off as intimidating with his looks alone; a soft but angular face with strong eyebrows framing the dark pits of his eyes and a smile full of perfect white teeth so wicked it could even put the devil to shame if he tried harder. It was common to be put-off by his intensity at first. He had always sought out to give off a strong impression, but it wouldn’t be long before he opened up, gracing everyone with the sweet side of him.
And sweet he was, with the way he was looking at you with the mess of saliva and your wetness coating his lips and chin. Even the tip of nose was dripping of it, yet you thought he was absolutely breathtaking that the dazzling smile did nothing but make him so much more.
They say that eyes are the window to the soul. That you can guess what was going through someone’s head if you dare peer into them longer. It was purely for the sake of uncovering answers on your part, but you weren’t sure if that was what you were searching for anymore.
He was doing unspeakable things to you, yes. That much was apparent with his mindless slurping and the pleased moans reverberating when you so much as tugged at his hair, or squeezed his head with your thighs. It’s like he was getting off from you getting off and it was all sorts of filthy when a dollop of his spit caught onto your clit just for the sake of it.
But his eyes were telling the complete opposite of his ministrations. Dark as they were, they held something soft in them. Gentle. Tender—dare you say it, enamored. Completely taken by how you were blatantly using him, rutting against that sinful tongue while simultaneously fucking yourself onto his thick fingers as he did the absolute most to match the desperate pace you were setting to chase your release.
The soft spoken praises fell so easily from his mouth. Slickened lips covering your inner thighs with kisses and gentle, teasing nips as he spoke sweet-nothings that were no less still filthy, yet his eyes still remained the same. Darkened even more with his blown out pupils, but the softness remained swimming in those endless pits of coffee brown sweeter than its bitter aftertaste; warm when Jaemin graced you with a lipped smile.
Even as Jaemin had you face down and ass up, the warm glow in his gaze stayed. Hips slammed into you with reckless abandon that with each push, you hiked higher and higher up his sheets that you had to hold onto his headboard to keep yourself in place. You assumed the phone was placed somewhere on his end table for the clear view, or else you wouldn’t be able to see the warmth light up his face too.
It’s truly a wonder how you were able to witness how easy his emotions took over his features. More so when he took it upon himself to manhandle you on your back, then did you see how easily Jaemin shed that hardass exterior of his.
That didn’t mean he had let up though, oh no. He was still rough with his treatment as you watched his hand come down onto your thigh with a loud smack before pushing at the back of your knees and until your thighs were pressed against your chest to fuck you deeper, harder, now that he raised one leg to get more leverage.
Jaemin graced you with a cruel smirk when you cried out from a pointed jerk of his hips. “Imagine how fucking pissed I was when Jeno snatched you up before I did.” That was news to you and it was more shocking that the man admitted it himself just as you were about to piece things together. “I saw you first. I befriended you first—fuck, I thought I made it obvious that I wanted you.” You could only let out a helpless mewl when he slowed down to scowl at you. “We’re friends, right?”
When you didn’t answer right away, a hand wrapped tightly around your throat. “Answer me, sweetheart. While I’m still nice enough to give you what you want.”
“Yes,” you sobbed, holding onto his wrist and you were exactly sure if drunk you wanted to keep it there or not. “We’re friends.”
Jaemin smiled something mean, “then how come I was the last to know that you chose Jeno over me?”
“I didn’t know—“
“You didn’t know? I’ve—” he cuts himself off with an incredulous laugh. “Right, how silly of me. You were too busy giving Jeno your attention.” Jaemin leaned in closer. “Maybe I should send this to him,” he mused, gesturing towards the phone with his head. “How’s that sound?” And humiliate yourself even further? You would rather die a painless death.
“No! Please no!” You could see yourself struggle, yet Jaemin with his sheer size and strength had no problem in keeping you pinned down.
“Why not? It’s not like you’re together or anything. Will it be that humiliating for you? There’s no reason to be, not when you're this gorgeous. Nothing wrong with being a slut either.”
“I’m—I’m not.”
“Oh yes you are, baby. You let me fuck you, didn’t you? Your ex’s best friend? Showing him all this could make him realize why he wasn’t able to keep you. Jeno didn’t know what you wanted. He didn’t know what you needed either. Me? I could give you both and more.” He sounded so sure about it. Looked sure about it too as he picked up the pace and settled on a brutal rhythm, punching more moans out of you. “All you have to do is just ask for it.”
“You’re fuh—fu—cking crazy,” was all you could say. It seemed you were starting to get light headed with how Jaemin still had a tight grip around your neck. Like a necklace choker that won't ever come off.
“I know I am, sweetheart, but don’t worry. I wasn't being serious. I’d kill anyone who sees you like this,” It was a threat and a promise all molded into one and hearing that strangely made your heart skip a beat. His face was drawn into something serious and darkened when he said, “Jeno included. He had his chance and he fucked all that to hell, but me? I’m not making the same mistake.”
The footage kept on rolling after Jaemin spilled into the condom, just a few seconds after you knocked out-cold from what seemed to be the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had—not that you could remember—in your life. Kept on rolling as he kissed your forehead before getting up to cleanup in the en suite. And rolled, and rolled, and rolled.
You were fully convinced that your one-night stand completely forgot the existence of your phone recording the post-sex ritual happening right before your eyes. It was kind of funny though, like watching a risqué vlog illustrating the proper etiquette when it came to aftercare.
Jaemin did just that, with the same balmy look in his eyes and the inherent tenderness in his actions as he took care of you even in your slumbering state.
He could have done better with dressing you up though, but you could understand that the exhaustion probably crept up at him when he didn’t even question the sweatpants he swiped up from the laundry hamper. Still, he tucked you in and gently kissed your cheek before shuffling over and picking up your phone, only to switch to the front camera, smile and blow a kiss.
With a huff, you fell back onto your bed, ruminating what Jaemin left behind and burning in shame and something else that you wouldn’t want to acknowledge.
It was some sort of confession, wasn’t it? Unconventional definitely, but the idea was there, glaring at you in minute-long clips and you couldn’t really think of your next move. Jaemin was still an enigma for sure and calling him didn’t sound like a good idea. At least at the moment it didn’t. You really had no clue if you should simply wait for him to reach out himself, but that's besides the point.
What you did know was that some part of you thought it was a shame that last night’s memory was still quite the blur. You couldn’t recall how Jaemin made you feel with his touch and you weren’t sure if gratitude should be even considered for him leaving you of last night’s evidence.
This was all too much. Jaemin was too much and you couldn’t think much now when you have plans coming up soon.
And if you came on your fingers twice from simply looking at the unmistaken adoration lifting Jaemin’s face as he had his way with you, then that was between you and God alone.
“Couldn’t we do this some other time?”
Donghyuck clicked his tongue as he pulled out a chair for you. “You know how Giselle is and to be fair, she’s been begging for us to meet up. She mentioned she’s bringing someone with her too.”
“That’s fine.” Probably one of your acquaintances. “But she couldn’t choose another day where I don’t feel and look like shit?”
“Relax. No one in here knows that you’ve been fucked six ways ‘til Sunday last night.”
He said it like he was talking about the weather, all the while scanning the menu nonchalantly as you prayed that no one else heard him. Donghyuck was right though. You did make sure to hide all evidence (mainly the marks on your neck), and the slight limp in your steps and it was such a relief on your part that you haven’t received any odd looks as of yet. If you were to get some concerning looks, it would be because of how fidgety you were. As if you were just waiting for Jaemin to come out and strike. Ugh, perhaps your body did remember some of last night.
“You’re fine, Y/N,” Donghyuck reassured, patting your thigh gently. “What are you gonna get? I’m thinking of steak. We could share each other’s food or something too.”
“Yeah, sounds nice—“
“Y/N! Girl, it’s been so long!”
Both you and Donghyuck looked up just in time to see Giselle quickly making her way over to where you both sat with a dazzling smile.
“Gigi, hi!”
The man beside you rolled his eyes as you rose up and kissed Giselle on the cheek, “I’m here too, y’know.”
She laughed and sat on the seat right across from him. “Yes, yes, hello to you too, Hyuck.” Giselle looked as if she came alone, noticing that no one was trailing behind her.
“I thought you were with someone?” you asked, handing over the menu to her.
She thanked you with a quick smile and got to scanning it. “He’s still parking his car. He insisted I go in first.”
He?
“He?” trust your best friend to voice out exactly what you were thinking. “Who’s he?” You couldn’t remember the last time she brought someone for you to meet. Usually, this was her way of checking whether the person would be worth her time. As all close friends would do. You did the same with Jeno and what a shame you guys didn’t even last that long.
“Some guy I met recently,” Giselle hummed. “He’s nice, I promise.”
The conversation flowed smoothly after that and you decided to order for everybody after Giselle mentioned that her ‘friend’ would most likely get the same thing as Donghyuck. You really couldn’t follow along much—still reeling from everything, really—but it seemed to be a heated discussion from how worked up Donghyuck was slowly becoming at each of Giselle’s rebuttals.
Your attention moved to your phone at that point, looking through your socials while simultaneously reading through the work emails you might have missed.
“Took you long enough, Jaemin.”
You froze.
Jaemin?
From that second, you concluded that you were just hearing things. Maybe you misheard Giselle and that it was some guy that had a similar sounding name to him. He wasn’t the only guy with a given name starting with ‘Jae’, right? Jaemin wasn’t the only Jaemin in the world either.
However, the universe might as well bring your nightmares to life because looking up from your phone, the same Jaemin Na was there. Sitting across from you a polite tilt of his lips.
Though as he looked down, taking a gander at your phone with shining eyes before meeting your gaze head on, the smile grew sharper, sinister and you dread whatever was coming next.
“Guys, this is Jaemin. Jaemin, Donghyuck and Y/N.”
“Oh, we’ve met.” Jaemin leaned forward, resting his cheek on his palm while you swallowed thickly. “It’s nice to see you again, sweetheart.”
“Well,” Donghyuck started, breaking the silence. “It could have gone worse.”
“What’s worse than meeting your one-night stand the very next day?”
“Jaemin telling everyone that he slept with you?”
“You’re useless, actually,” you dead-panned, plopping heavily onto your couch. “Seriously, that was probably the most embarrassing dinner ever. Poor Giselle probably thought that I didn’t want to see her.” Your hands flew to your face to hide, moaning in despair.
To be fair, it wasn’t entirely the worst situation you’ve been in. At least Jaemin was cordial enough to act normal aside from the fact that he still tried to burn holes into your profile when you focused on either Donghyuck or Giselle as you talked over the food. Jaemin didn’t say much either, and spoke when spoken to, yet his presence was so domineering that even pretending that he didn't exist was rather difficult that you just settled on acknowledging him out of politeness.
Never mind the fact that he looked like he wanted to eat you up and swallow you whole right then and there. Then again, that’s how he looked most of the time so it brought comfort that there was a fifty-fifty chance that you were wrong.
Donghyuck gave you a sympathetic pat on the head, “don’t worry about it. You can say sorry to her and she’ll be fine, and it’s not like you’ll be seeing Jaemin any time soon.”
At that moment, your phone chimed and with the whole dinner fiasco, you immediately assumed it was probably Giselle checking up on you. You did act a little weird for everyone’s tastes and you were kind of waiting for her to bring it up so you could explain yourself and express your deepest apologies for acting out-of-character.
See, it wasn't Giselle and you cursed Donghyuck in your head for jinxing it.
Donghyuck took one good look at your face, the corner of his lips tilting downwards in concern. “What'd Giselle say?”
You shook your head and handed it over to him.
“Oh my god.”
Jaemin Na
hey
can i come over?
:)
Shit.

note: this is dedicated to Aria for being just as insane as me when it comes to Jaemin 🫡
TAGLIST: @jaylaxies @celeste-hoon @en-myworld
#FINALLY IVE FINISHED WRITING THIS this was supposed to come out a month ago lol oopsies#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin one shot#na jaemin smut#jaemin x reader#jaemin one shot#jaemin smut#nct x reader#nct one shot#nct smut#nct dream x reader#nct dream one shot#nct dream smut#nics: one shots
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I wanted to begin writing for twilight again, but didn't have any ideas for who. So this fic is mostly be just going with the flow.
Sparkling Awkwardness
pairing: jasper whitlock x male reader x edward cullen tags: you are a newborn, but even then you can't catch a break, tug of war between two vampires, comedic elements, pre-relationship, reader is not that old, newborn vampire
In Forks, Washington, the perpetual gray skies had always been your friend—before and after you became a vampire. But not even the cozy gloom of the Pacific Northwest could hide the shimmering tension stirring between Jasper and Edward over you, of all people.
You never asked to be so desirable; you certainly hadn’t been in your human life. But now, you were a shiny new vampire with a perfect complexion and a magnetic personality—at least, so you’d been told. You still felt like the same slightly clumsy, socially awkward guy, except you no longer tripped over your own feet unless you were actively trying to blend in. It was weird. Oh, and apparently, both Jasper and Edward thought you might be their “mate.” That word alone was enough to give you hives if your skin could still do that. It made everything feel predetermined—a cosmic real-estate deal on your afterlife.
No, thank you.
You plopped down on the gleaming white couch, adopting what you hoped was a casual position. Edward sat at the piano bench, absentmindedly letting his fingers hover over the keys, while Jasper paced near the staircase. They were doing that silent eye-contact thing—what you liked to call “vampire telepathy” (you knew it was actually Edward reading thoughts and Jasper sensing emotions, but still). Either way, you were definitely the topic, if the frequent side-eye glances were any indication.
You cleared your throat, forcing a grin. “So, are we going to continue the silent stare-off, or do I need to crack a few jokes to break this tension?”
Edward turned to you, lips curving into a tight, apologetic smile. “Sorry,” he murmured softly. “Old habits.”
“You guys have old habits? You’re basically the definition of ancient habits,” you teased. “I’m the new kid on the block. Cut me some slack. I’ve only been a vampire for—what—three months?”
Jasper stopped mid-pace, sending you a faint smirk. “If it helps, you’re doing a fine job adjusting. No unintentional biting incidents this week.”
“I appreciate the recognition. We can add it to my vampire résumé,” you said, only half-joking. “Next up: perfecting the sparkle. Do you think if I rub my cheek up against a disco ball, I’ll blind everyone within a two-mile radius?”
Edward’s eyes sparkled with suppressed amusement. “Might be a bit dramatic, even for us.”
Jasper shrugged. “No more dramatic than having two vampires fight over you, I reckon.”
You grimaced, nose scrunching. “Yeah, about that.” You cast them both a meaningful look. “Are you two really fighting over me? Because I’m not exactly used to…you know, this.”
“Yes,” Edward said at the exact same time Jasper said, “Of course.” Then they flicked irritated glances at each other, as if each wished the other had said anything else.
When Carlisle brought you home after that near-fatal accident, you had been delirious and bleeding out. Edward, in typical heroic fashion, had insisted on saving you. Next thing you knew, there you were: newly turned, hungry for blood, and fitted with a brand-new wardrobe courtesy of Alice.
You’d spent the early days stumbling through the house, flinching whenever someone shut a door too loudly. But from the get-go, you noticed two sets of molten gold eyes on you more than the others: Jasper’s and Edward’s.
You didn’t think much of it at first—maybe they were just protective. But it quickly escalated from polite overprotectiveness to…whatever this was. Tense stands in the living room. Soft arguments at midnight. That time Jasper accidentally crushed a chair arm because Edward “invaded your personal space.” Or the time Edward snarled under his breath for no apparent reason when you innocently asked Jasper for some sparring tips.
Needless to say, that’s when you began to suspect something was afoot. And apparently, that something was the so-called mate bond. You still didn’t buy it.
A creak on the polished floor made you realize you’d been tapping your foot anxiously—only to discover it was Jasper edging closer to you. He had that concerned older-brother-turned-smitten-face again. Meanwhile, Edward looked up from the piano, watching you like you were the only thing in the room worth paying attention to (besides maybe the antique piano itself).
You sighed, addressing them both. “So, as fun as it is being the center of your undead soap opera, can we talk about the whole ‘mate’ thing? I still don’t buy into it.”
Edward studied you, a hint of a frown creasing his perfect forehead. “I’ve heard your thoughts,” he began, “and I understand why you’re—”
“You heard my thoughts?” you cut in, eyes narrowing. “Hey, man, that’s private property up there. At least charge admission.”
A sheepish smile briefly pulled at his lips. “I try to respect your privacy, but strong emotions tend to overflow.”
Your cheeks heated (which was impossible, physically, but you felt it). You cleared your throat. “Well, guess I should keep my strong emotions dialed down—like that’s even possible. I’m brand-new at this vamp thing. I can’t walk across the room without rearranging furniture accidentally.”
Jasper let out a low laugh. It instantly relaxed some of the tension in the room—he couldn’t help broadcasting some of that relaxation to you, as was his empathetic gift. “I’ve got no intention of forcing you into anything,” he said gently. “It’s just…I feel how your emotions waver between us. It’s intense.”
You threw up your hands. “I can’t help it! You two are like walking advertisement campaigns for impossibly cool vampires. I mean, Edward, you’ve got that brooding poet vibe, and sometimes your hair looks like you walked off a shampoo commercial—”
He seemed surprised. “I—thank you?”
You went on. “Jasper, you’re the calm center in a raging storm, and plus, that Southern drawl is kinda hot. Sorry, is that weird to say out loud?”
Jasper blinked. “It’s— it’s not unwelcome.”
Edward’s lips twitched in a smile. “So, you do admit you feel…something?”
“Well, yeah!” you exclaimed. “But does that mean I have to pick and stamp a romantic label on it right now? Because that’s a lot of pressure.” You flopped back against the couch dramatically. “Especially when I’m trying to figure out why my sparkles look more like glitter glue than fancy vampire confetti in the sunlight.”
You heard a snicker and glanced to the side. Emmett was leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, thoroughly entertained. Alice stood behind him, grinning like this was the funniest show on earth.
“You’re both about one push away from a territorial meltdown,” Emmett teased his brothers. “And I, for one, can’t wait to see who’s gonna punch whom first.”
Jasper shot him a warning look. “Not helpful, Emmett.”
Edward winced. “I’d prefer if we avoided violence.”
You rubbed your temples. “Yes, please, let’s not have that. It’s already complicated enough without fistfights.”
“Aw, come on,” Emmett drawled, “vampire fights are the best. It’ll be over in about two seconds and destroy half the house. Great entertainment, if you ask me.”
Alice laughed behind her hand. “I saw a vision of that once. Rosalie was not happy about the furniture repairs.”
In an effort to shift the mood, you sat up straight, cleared your throat, and pointed at Edward and Jasper in turn. “First, you.” You locked eyes with Edward. “Stop reading my cringe-worthy daydreams—I can’t handle that level of exposure.”
He pressed his lips together in a teasing way, then nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
“Second,” you said, turning to Jasper, “no more flooding me with calm vibes to manipulate me into hugging you for, like, five minutes at a time.”
Jasper put a hand to his chest, feigning offense. “I don’t do that on purpose. Usually,” he added under his breath.
“And third,” you said, scanning between them, “I don’t want either of you jumping to assumptions about being my ‘mate.’ I don’t even know what that truly means aside from it being the vampire version of destiny. Maybe I’m too new to see the big picture, but…” You shrugged, folding your arms. “I’m not ready to commit. I like you both. Deal with it.”
Edward’s eyes flickered with relief and a shade of disappointment simultaneously, as though he’d half-expected you to declare an immediate eternal bond. Jasper gave you a solemn nod, managing a small, humble smile.
“So you want to, what, keep this casual?” Edward asked.
“I want to keep living—uh, un-living—my new existence,” you corrected, “without strapping myself into an epic love saga just yet. Let me be a baby vampire who can’t even do a normal grocery run without wanting to pass out from the smell of raw hamburger.” Your voice dropped into a mock superhero tone: “Time to buy more steak sauce, but oh wait, I can’t eat human food anymore.”
A strained silence passed, then Edward sighed, letting the corners of his mouth lift. “Fair enough.”
Jasper stepped closer, just enough that he could have touched your arm, but he hesitated. “And if we…I don’t know, slip up? If one of us tries to edge the other one out?”
You raised an eyebrow. “You both have about a century of experience on me. I promise, if you slip up, I will find some comedic way to remind you. Maybe I’ll laminate a scoreboard.”
At that, Jasper chuckled quietly. Edward dipped his head, biting back a grin. It seemed the cold war between them was cooling off—somewhat.
Emmett broke into a broad smile. “Aw, man, a scoreboard. Please put me in charge of that. I’ll keep track of who gets the most time with you. Strictly for comedic purposes, of course.”
From across the house, Rosalie’s voice rang out, “Don’t encourage them!”
As the sun sank below Forks’ ever-present clouds, you rose from the couch, nearly tripping over the rug on your way to the door—reflexively, Jasper grabbed your elbow, steadying you. Edward hovered just behind you, poised to catch you if you stumbled further.
“Thanks,” you murmured to both of them, awkwardly aware of their closeness. Being flanked by two protective vampires had once seemed terrifying, but now it felt…comforting. Still weird, though.
“We’re not going to solve everything tonight,” you said, taking a purposeful step back so you could see them both—and so you didn’t spontaneously lean into someone’s chest. “Let’s just agree not to tear each other apart, yeah?”
Edward extended a hand toward Jasper, as if to form a truce. Jasper eyed it warily for a moment before accepting the gesture in a calm, if reluctant, handshake. “Alright,” Edward said. “No tearing each other apart.”
Jasper nodded. “Can do.”
Feeling a spark of mischief, you clapped your hands. “Great. That’s one less lawsuit for Dr. Cullen to worry about. In the meantime, Emmett—please start designing that scoreboard.”
“On it!” Emmett crowed from the doorway.
“Have a good night, you two,” you said to Jasper and Edward. Then, with a flash of a grin, you headed for the stairs, half-dreading, half-anticipating the comedic fiascos tomorrow was sure to bring. Behind you, you heard their faint conversation:
(Edward) “He’s definitely going to drive us insane, isn’t he?”
(Jasper) “Yep.”
(Edward) “… And you’re okay with that?”
(Jasper) “I think I am.”
Your lips quirked into a smile. Even if you didn’t believe in mates, you had to admit—it felt pretty good having not just one, but two admirers who thought you were worth fighting for. Sure, you still sparkled like a glitter bomb gone awry, and your vampiric existence remained confusing at best. But if that’s the price of comedic immortality… well, you could live—er, un-live—with that.
#x male reader#male reader#the twilight saga#twilight fandom#twilight#edward cullen#twilight saga#bella swan#twilight fanfiction#new moon#breaking dawn pt. 1#alice cullen#breaking dawn part 2#edward cullen x male reader#the cullens#edward cullen fanfiction#jasper cullen#jasper hale#jasper whitlock#jasper Whitlock x male reader#emmett cullen#esme cullen#rosalie hale#rosalie cullen#charlie swan#carlisle cullen#forks washington#the volturi
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head, heart, hand. {Oliver/Reader/Felix}
It had been a long time since your world has revolved around anyone but Felix Catton. He was like that; undeniably, unassumingly magnetic. You'd watched countless fawning, fairweather friends drawn into his orbit, only to be cast out when he eventually got bored of them, but not you, never you. Maybe you were a toy in the beginning, the thing they'd all called you when they were feeling especially petty, but it became clear that Felix has wanted to keep you around.
You weren't a toy, you weren't family, you were a sharp and beautiful tool, too good, too useful to be put down. Your loyalty was rewarded with a life in his shape. Felix was like the sun, and you lived your life enjoying his warmth, and wanting to keep him shining.
And there's something about the way Oliver Quick thinks and talks that you almost recognise. The others call him a toy but the look in his eyes says he's capable of so much more than that. Oliver Quick is not one to be tossed aside either, and you'll do all you can to make Felix see that too.
The three of you; head, heart, hand.
Oliver thinks. Felix feels. You do.
Need to Know: established fwb!Felix/reader, there will be smut, Oliver is a weird obsessive perv and reader recognises and is pretty into it, obviously manipulation, AU with a happy poly ending
[ IN PROGRESS ]
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Part Eleven
Part Twelve
Part Thirteen
Part Fourteen
Part Fifteen
Part Sixteen
Part Seventeen
Part Eighteen
Part Nineteen
Part Twenty
Part Twenty-One
Part Twenty-Two
Part Twenty-Three
Part Twenty-Four
Part Twenty-Five
Part Twenty-Six
Part Twenty-Seven
Part Twenty-Eight
Part Twenty-Nine
Part Thirty
Part Thirty-One
Part Thirty-Two
Part Thirty-Three
Part Thirty-Four
Part Thirty-Five
Part Thirty-Six
Part Thirty-Seven
Part Thirty-Eight
Coda
[ PLUS + ]
a long way down to the bottom of the river - SALTBURN CANON ENDING AU (angst / one-shot)
never wanted anything from you (except everything you had) - SALTBURN CANON ENDING AU 2 (Oliver/Reader / fluff / one-shot)
seen and not heard - Felix & Reader's First Meeting (fluff / one-shot)
all this, and love too (will ruin us) - Reader Murders Oliver For Trying To Kill Felix (Felix/Reader / angst / one-shot)
he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) // epilogue - Reader Dies At The Maze Instead Of Felix (Felix/Oliver / heavy angst / two-shot)
alone with you - Felix Won't Believe The Reader's Dead (Felix/Reader / heavy angst / one-shot)
and other things that happened by the red staircase - Felix Fingers His Cousin (humour / one-shot)
at the other end of the leash - Felix Beats The Shit Out Of Someone For Trying To Assault The Reader (hurt/comfort / one-shot)
they stare at me (and i stare at you) - CEO!Reader AU With Enemies-To-Lovers (Felix/Reader / miniseries)
love the hand that feeds you - puppy play smut (Felix/Reader/Oliver / post head, heart, hand canon / one-shot)
Ask Box Vignettes;
Reader's Family History of Wealth
Felix/Reader - Joking About The Future
Felix/Reader - Sick Day
Felix/Reader/Oliver - Attending Colin & Araminta's Wedding (Crazy Rich Asians Crossover)
AU Tags;
Vampire AU
Fae AU (ft. Demifae!Oliver)
Crazy Rich Asians Crossover
Oliver & Reader Siblings AU
CEO!Reader AU
Felix Catton's Adventures in Employment
THE TAGLIST IS ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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Unrelated Fics & Headcanons;
baby, put your back into it - {Farleigh/Reader/Oliver} - (pwp / two-shot)
Euphoria AU - (12 Years Post Saltburn Canon / dot point headcanons)
you're not the main character - {One-Sided India/Reader} - (drabble)
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Other Tags;
#manic-writer; all fics
#it-shouts-back; all asks
#manicpixieart; my posts
#saltburn#felix catton x reader#oliver quick x reader#felix catton imagine#oliver quick imagine#felix catton x reader x oliver quick#saltburn imagine#saltburn x reader#felix catton x y/n#oliver quick x y/n#felix catton x you#oliver quick x you#felix catton x you x oliver quick#manicpixieart#manic writer
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AN EVENING IN THE WOODS !



CHARACTERS ! werewolf!bang chan, human!reader
GENRE ! horror/thriller but barely, smut [minors dni]
WORDS ! 3.3k
SYNOPSIS ! on a drunken game night, you're dared to take a little stroll through the woods after rumors of a werewolf lurking through the town.
THIS FIC CONTAINS ! more thriller than horror i think. mentions of alcohol. being chased/stalked; mentions of being 'kept'. reader desc. wearing long skirt + called 'good girl'. smut [dubcon(?)—reader is basically being used. d/s dynamics—predator versus prey. possessiveness. [rough] sex in the woods. monsterfucking ig. large cock channie <3. pussy eating. facefucking. cumplay + creampie. belly bulge oops. dumbification(?) growling..] used the word 'beast' a lot oops. it gets weird idk
💌 ngl...i think i forgot how to write smut u guys... this is partially inspired by a brief part in house of leaves by mark z. danielewski, but like, not really at all iykyk. anyway, as u kno, i always appreciate feedback <3
There’s a big difference between vampire hunters and werewolf hunters. The creatures are different from each other in both ferocity and nature; thus, the study and hunt of them will differ based on several factors. Hunters of said creatures are expected to know what to do in situations in which they are faced with such foul beasts. You, quite frankly, are neither a vampire nor a werewolf hunter. Inexperienced to the point where you couldn’t begin to imagine what you would do if faced with anything that is such a monstrous terror, let alone a werewolf. Yet, here you are, prancing around the cold forest like a delicious piece of meat, praying that you don’t cross paths with anything—man or beast.
About a month ago, men and women alike began disappearing from town in the late hours of the night, not to be seen or heard from again. In the following weeks, numbers of missing people have only risen, leading many to believe that there might be a serial killer on the loose. That, however, was only until word got around that a town drunkard had seen what he could only describe as a ‘terrifyingly large rabid dog’. ‘It had to be about six feet tall just standing there’, he said, swearing solemnly, even vowing to quit drinking in an effort to portray his seriousness. The man wept, “It was one of them werewolves. I swear by it.”
Only from there did word travel through the town. Though, no one believed the drunk old man, laughing at his testimony—‘A werewolf? In this town? That’s impossible’—some treating it as some fable, or a game, even. Which is what leads to you, alone, in the woods tonight. A fun game of truth or dare with your friends—being a chronic truth picker, tonight (with a little liquid courage) you decide that you want nothing but to humor your associates, you chose dare—turns into you blindly making your way into the dark forest with nothing but a lamp, pocket knife, and a few neon stickers to help you make your way back; and that’s only if you’re not murdered.
By the looks of it, the surrounding forest is empty. The only sounds come from the rustling of tree leaves mingling together due to the wind, the sounds of birds squawking in the far distance, and the snapping and crunching of twigs and leaves beneath your shoes. You trek your way through the trees and dirt extremely unnerved. Nothing has happened at all, and although you’re thankfully still alive and breathing, making your way through the clutter of trees and dead wood, you cannot help but be a bit frightened about the dreariness and uncertainty of the situation.
It’s a cold night, predicted to snow a bit; temperature dropping lower and lower with each hour that falls. The sun had set a while ago and the purple-orange hue leftover has now faded from blue into black. And while the stars are beginning to show themselves—pristine and beautiful—the dark sky only adds to the dreariness of your walk through the forest. The sudden additional silence is eerie, nature has stilled completely. Although the echo of stillness is inexplicable, unusual; it comforts you—knowing that you would hear your assailant coming, should you come close to being attacked.
When looking at your watch, you find that you’ve only been in the forest for fifteen of the required thirty minutes—it’s very possible that you can go the distance, turning on your heels and deciding to make your fifteen minute walk back to the edge of the dark forest; and most importantly, to safety. After all, your friends must be worried about you by now; maybe even surprised that you’ve really stuck to the dare. In a matter of minutes, this will be all over and you will be resting at home.
You had to have been walking in one straight direction, right? Maybe because it’s dark, and you, admittedly, have drunk quite a bit, but the placemarkers you remember sticking to the trees along your path are nowhere to be found. The light of your lamp shines against tree after tree, but they remain in their natural state, unchanged. Your eyes widen, heartbeat increasing as you look at the leftover placemarkers you hold in your hand, only six remaining of your original twenty—so you know you’ve used them.
You stop in your tracks, not willing to venture any further than you already have. Mind racing, scanning and assessing all the possible things you can do, slowly slipping into a panic. You could scream as loud as you can, vocally expressing your need for rescue; but how likely is it that you’ll be heard, especially given how deep into this unchanging landscape you are. Perhaps you can continue walking ahead, only praying that you make your way out unharmed—after all, safety should have been just a fifteen minute walk ahead.
As you lift your foot a few centimeters off of the ground to make your first step, through the darkness of the forest and out of your peripherals, you swear you see a large shadow for just a split second—lurched over and next to a thick tree to your right. A chill runs down your spine and you shudder as you realize the presence of this creature; intimidating and dominant. Taking no chances, feet hitting the ground hard as you sprint through the woods, doing your best to escape this nightmare; real or otherwise.
The action of running when you feel like you’re being chased, versus running because you are being chased, are quite similar. It’s all instinct, a gut feeling that you jump on, increased heart rate; it’s choosing to flee rather than to fight. The difference, in this moment, you realize, is the definite risk of getting caught. The consequences could prove to be unsatisfactory, at the very least, if you were to be caught by whatever it is that may be following after you. Although, looking behind, there’s nothing in sight—no sign of disaster nor danger. You continue along, albeit a lot slower than before, attempting to catch your breath a bit. Walking off trail just a bit to slow down and assess your next course of action.
The snapping of a twig within your vicinity has you darting from the temporary hiding place. However, the predator is right on your trail, persisting in its hunt for flesh. You weave your way through the woods, brain firing off about escaping quickly without harm. The chase does not last long, though. One misstep taking you down, tumbling. Briefly, in your panic, you appear to meet eyes with the foul beast. Fear lodged in your throat, dry and brittle—crumbling into tiny little pieces that pester your insides like a million tiny beetles finding a dark, cavernous home. Stomach clenching, seizing as you cower in submission to your terror. Hands buried into the freshly fallen snow—previous footsteps already blanketed over and long gone. Never have you thought you would give up so easily; unsure if you’ve got it within you to fight back in the absolute worst case.
Body stuck in place, paralyzed with fear once you hear the snow behind you crunch, a sign that the creature is inching closer to you. It’s like your life flashes before your eyes once you feel the snout of the creature pressed against the back of your neck, heat blowing against the back of your neck, followed by a short, deep snarl emitting from within the beast. The large presence behind you is undeniable. The way the creature towers over you is horrifying—a domineering and overbearing sense of power, exuding pride and strength in the form of body heat. It circles you, though you are too terrified to look towards it, despite the daring growl it emits. Heart racing, nearly about to jump out of your chest and run away itself. The creature begins to circle around you, and out of the corner of your eye you can see its feet—huge black paws. Oh great! You’ll be eaten alive.
But then the feet of the beast turns into man, and slowly you raise your face to get a good look at its true face. He starts off as a blur initially, but the longer you look at him, the more recognizable he becomes. A face you’ve always seen lurking around town. Though despite the area being rather small, you’ve never formally interacted—only stared at each other from a distance then kept it moving. Tonight, however, you finally decided to walk up to him at the local bar whilst with friends, only for him to walk away without a word. ‘Oh, him? Yeah, Chan is just like that.’
“Mmm. What’s that smell?” Chan asks while humming. Arms caging you in against the tree as he presses his nose against your neck, right near a particularly sweet spot. “Smells heavenly. So sweet and delicious.”
He continues to sniff you out, planting a small kiss to your neck before traveling lower, nose now pressed to the fabric of your clothing. Face pressed in between the valley of your breast, Chan takes a long, deep inhale. His eyes are closed as he pulls back, slightly smirking with clear contentment. Chan takes the material of your shirt pinched between his fingertips before tearing the shirt down the middle, groaning at your now exposed chest. His hands cup your tits, thumbs teasing at your nipples, as he runs his nose down the valley, before swiping back up with his tongue.
Chan isn’t done, nose still pressed against your skin as he sinks down to his knees. Rough hands cupping your ass, squeezing, as he stops—nose pressed against your mound, breathing you in while trying to pull you closer, finally finding the source of that sweet, heavenly scent. He’s breathing heavily to the point that you can feel his hot breath against your skin through the thin material of your skirt; snarling as he takes in your scent. And he’s mumbling something down there—pussy hungry words about how fucking delectable you smell. Perfect to devour.
Contrary to the petrifying circumstance, the rush of adrenaline you get in the moment is euphoric and exhilarating. Chan’s touch is hot against you, almost scorching, and leaves you wanting—no, needing more of him.
He hikes up the long length of your skirt with ease, throwing your leg over his shoulder to force your hips towards his face, diving face first into your cunt. Tongue lapping up hungrily at your wetness, moaning and groaning without a care in the world as he gets the first taste of his meal. Plump lips sucking your clit, vibrating when he moans, causing you to shake and squirm, but Chan has a strong grip against you. He’s messy as he eats you—occasionally breaking free, not for air, but to spit against your cunt—as the lower half of his face is covered in your nectar; which he hopes never washes off, absolutely frenzied by your scent, cock hard and leaking cum, jumping at the thought of finally getting to fuck his cock into this sweet little cunt.
While Chan is usually a patient man, having no problem in waiting—stalking his prey and then teasing them for hours upon hours on end—he finds himself struck with need. A particular need to feast. To fuck and destroy his prey. Days and days of stalking you, taunting you from afar, and you played right into his palm—obviously fated to be found afraid and lost, deep in his territory. It is at this point he thinks to keep you. Perhaps hide you away somewhere cold and dark where only he’d be able to find you. Keeping you bound to him until he gets sick of you—or until you cease to exist. Aching to fuck you over and over and over again until it becomes too difficult for you to even think about moving a muscle, succumbing fully to his torturous pleasure. He stops himself from thinking too far ahead all too soon, clearly entranced by the sweetness of your cunt.
Chan springs to his feet; cock heavy, hard and curving to the right, tip swelling red with need and dripping with precum. Your eyes are glued to his cock as you watch him massage his right hand over it; even in his big palms his cock is huge. The excitement to take him spreads from the pit of your stomach and up your chest, visualizing into the form of goosebumps all over your arms. He just laughs at the look on your face; how equally intrigued and dismayed you appear. A perfect little lamb stalked and caught by the big bad wolf, unable to flee due to their own fascination despite their fright.
Chan leans in, his lips against yours briefly. A hand curling into your hair to bring you down to your knees, you follow suit. His hand stays tangled in your hair, pulling harshly against your scalp. With his other hand, Chan strokes his cock, running his thumb over the tip; then pulling your head towards his tip. Eagerly, your tongue slips from your mouth, ready to taste everything he’s giving you. You swirl your tongue around him, but Chan has other plans, slowly sliding his cock into your mouth; helping you savor the slightly salty taste of his seed. Fixing your mouth open as wide as it can go, with both hands now tangled into your hair, he thrusts his cock in and out of your mouth, slowly increasing the speed of his thrust.
“You just take it like a good girl, huh?” You don’t say anything, but that dazed look in your eye and the moan that escapes from deep in your throat tells Chan all he needs to know.
“Perfect little mouth, but I bet that pussy is even better.” Chan frees his cock from your mouth with a trail of spit. His hand around his cock once again, the slick sound like music to your ears. Though, it’s at this point that the cold air is starting to get to you—the snow is light but still continuous—yet you power through it for just another taste of Chan.
“Want you so bad,” You bite your lip, looking into his eyes, eyebrows furrowed together. You stand and stretch to turn your back to him, looking over your shoulder as you wiggle your backside towards him like a bitch in heat. Chan smirks at you, a small laugh erupting from him at the sight of your shamelessness.
In the heat of the moment, Chan licks the palm of his hand before bringing it down to rub at your cunt from behind. He doesn’t say anything, but you can hear a long, deep snarl come from within his chest. The closer he gets to you, the louder the growl echoes, and the more he warms you with his body heat—caging you in against the tree. You grind into his hand, greedily taking anything he gives you. While Chan is steadily becoming just as impatient as you, he always spares time to play with his food; teasing the tip of his cock against your slit. Chan slowly slides into your cunt—a rough hand clenching onto your hip, nails digging into your skin; not nearly enough to keep him from losing his cool as your wetness encases his cock, wet and tight.
You’re barely taking half of his dick before the stretch of it nearly becomes too much—but he’s one step ahead of you; arm snakes across your belly and down to your cunt, two wet fingers ready to play with your clit. Chan works his fingers against your clit slowly winding you up, all while planting a quick kiss against your shoulder; tongue drooling out to lick a long wet stripe against your neck. It’s only once he receives a moan from you in response that he starts thrusting into you slowly; the thrusts of his hips syncing with the movement of his fingers.
It isn’t long before you’re taking more and more of his cock, being stuffed and stretched deliciously. Cunt leaking and begging for more of him. Chan lets out these harsh growls and grunts that contrast with the pitch of your moans. His nails dig into your hips, using a minimal amount of strength to pull your hips back against him, making you meet his thrusts. His hips smack against your ass roughly, cock stretching you further, but your cunt swallows every inch perfectly. That’s only until he slides out of you, wordless, yet, still letting out a snarl. He pushes you onto the ground, hands and knees crashing into the new layers of snow. You yelp out in response, but Chan can only laugh at you.
“Just letting me push you around like this? I think I should keep you,” He follows you, kneeling onto the ground, cock in hand. Laying a quick smack at your ass, he hums. “How would you feel about being my little plaything, huh?”
His free hand kneads against your ass while he plays with his cock. “Keep you locked up with me ‘n only let you out in these woods at night, hmm? All cute ‘n naked for me to hunt down and fuck again.”
“And you can’t even hide cause I’ll always find you, pretty.” He finally slides into your cunt, still not letting you have all of him, yet. “How does that sound? Do you like it?”
His words are filthy and so are his touches but somehow he’s got you entranced. You let out a loud, cracked sob of a yes in response to his inquiries as if he bullied it out of you. “Good girl.”
Chan finally allows himself to break—hips snapping harshly into yours. Not caring if you go limp from the way he’s fucking into you, instead his hands are once again clenching your hips, grinding his hips against your ass whenever he thrusts his cock back into you. Your fists clutching onto the snow as you take his cock, unable to do much but drool and mewl for him.
He presses his chest across your back, caging you onto the cold ground. His tongue once again flat against your skin, licking every inch of what exposed skin he has access to. Still pounding into you as he chases his impending orgasm. Then he sinks his teeth into the skin of your shoulder, letting out a whine rather than the usual growl as he fucks his cum into you. It’s hot, sticky, and heavy—and it seems like it’s unending; seemingly producing more and more as he pumps his cock into you. Slowly Chan reaches a hand down to press against your lower abdomen; feeling how your belly swells with all the cum his cock is feeding your cunt.
You moan at the feeling when Chan pulls out of you with a sigh of exhaust. Cum coating his cock and spilling out of your cunt, staining your thighs. So much of his seed has spilled out and he’s no longer stuffing you with his cock, but yet you feel so full. Chan continues to incite, two thick fingers dip into your cunt to scoop up and play with the excess cum that’s dripping from your hole.
Chan pulls you back to him by your arms, caging you against his chest. He whispers to you. “What if we played a fun little game, hm?”
He grips your chin and those same two digits that were once inside of you, force into your mouth, offering you another taste of Chan’s cum. There’s a hint of a smile in his voice, “Let’s say, I give you a ten second head start to run.”
Chan kisses the back of your neck and a chill runs down your spine. “The ten seconds start now.”
He frees you from his hold, and springs to his feet leaving you dumbfounded. But by the time you stand and face the direction of Chan, legs weak and cold, he’s no longer there.
It seems his fun little game has officially started.
© PLANETDREAM 2024
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I don't know if this is me being sensitive, but I kind of hate it when people assume I must be a certain age to write protagonists who are that age well. My protagonist of my most popular current fic is 52. I'm 19. People assume I must be in my 30's at a minimum, and that's... weird, to me?
A 52 year old has a lot in common with a 19 year old. A lot of regrets about things you did wrong, worries about the younger people in your family, you worry about being like the toxic older relatives you swore you wouldn't become, you're not sure what the future holds but you're not 90 or something so you can't stop caring because it does in fact directly impact you, you've got a lot of responsibilities but everyone assumes you're fine either because "oh young people have it easy" or "you're old enough to have your finances in order/your life figured out" is in effect, etc. It's not like a 52 year old is a different species than I am. He has anxieties, problems, a job with annoying coworkers, he's someone's son, he's someone's best friend, he is awkwardly trying to navigate a work-life balance, he's... at the risk of sounding insulting, he's just a guy. I'm just a guy. We are all just guys and gals and whatever the NB equivalent term is.
We're people. We're both people and we live in the same country, and his world has fantasy elements but it's not radically different from ours in any way that would impede my ability to write him. People are stunned I'm 19. I am not good enough to justify this with, "they're stunned by my creative genius!", this is very much them oohing and aaahing over someone writing a normal person with moderate competency. I'm not writing shit you have to be older to have even done IRL. Yeah, adjusting to knowing magic and vampires and werewolves are real is weird. Trying to make sure your younger relatives know they can talk to you without hovering or being annoying is a super standard, normal-ass experience. Being overwhelmed by information and having long to-read and to-watch lists is a really common thing. There's more media available than ever but there remains 24 hours in a day, ultimately.
The thing I got the most praise for that I find to be the most "given an award for knowing the sky is blue" in vibe is him longing for the simplicity of his childhood but acknowledging that simplicity was just how he perceived it and times were complicated back then. I had that revelation about my childhood when I was still in it, when I was ten and I eavesdropped on my mom talking to one of her friends about bills, politics and rising extremism in the US. People think I must be an adult lying about my age in order to get praise for my good writing and my "good writing" is literally just shit I knew when I was 10 years old.
I am not good enough to be worthy of some 'wise beyond your years' type sentiment. I just asked myself, "What would Character Name be thinking/feeling in this situation?" and it's like I'm getting applause for having the ability to walk and chew gum at the same time. I don't need to be in my 30's to grasp a complicated concept like "he's worried about his loved ones".
Look I know a lot of my generation acts dumb online but the most egregious stick out specifically because they're egregious. That's not the norm. We're not incapable of seeing older people as human beings.
--
I fucked a dude in high school because he could write convincingly from a middle-aged POV and was obsessed with the old guy from Don Juan DeMarco. It was refreshing. Most people our age, even the other writer nerds, could not do that.
No, anon, most 19-year-olds aren't especially good at this specific way of putting themselves in an older person's shoes and at getting that across in writing. There are various types of writing skill. Maybe your other ones aren't all that, or maybe you're just too hard on yourself, but it sounds like you're unusually good at a particular niche skill.
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"Careful, I Bite"
My First - Part 1/3
Pairing: Astarion/ AFAB!Tav (you)
Warnings/tags: 18+, virginity, vulnerability, sexual tension, mature conversations and flirting, vaginal masturbation, explicit sexual fantasies (PiV), Act 1 spoilers
Length: ~ 5.5k words (they just keep getting longer, don’t they?)
Summary: Unable to resist his charms, you grow close with your handome, vampiric travel companion. Very close. The thing is just ... you've never been with anyone before ...
A/N: It's happening! My first venture into 🌶️ territory! Please know: No PHD thesis ever had this much lively back and forth and discussion as this fic! Thank you @nyx-knox for being the GOAT of beta-readers on what is basically group-project at his point and for your constant support and reassurance 🩷
Taglist: @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate , @littlelovelore, @onlyancunin @chaoticbardlady99 @ancuninfiles
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You have never felt this weird kind of nervousness before.
It’s not the kind of suspense you feel before entering a dungeon full of goblins. It’s not the kind of pressure you feel when the eyes of your companions turn to you, awaiting a decision. No. This is a different, unfamiliar kind of stimulation to your nerves. It’s warm, yet tingly, it’s at the back of your mind constantly, making you smile one moment, then shake your head the next trying to escape the feeling. You find it increasingly difficult to think of anything else, even now while you are sitting on a log, warming yourself on your camp’s little fire. This has been going on for a few days now. And it’s entirely Astarion’s fault.
Astarion. The charming, flirty and admirably witty Vampire you’ve found yourself increasingly drawn to more and more with each passing day.
If you’re being honest … you kinda hated him when you first met. Headbutting him in the face was less than what he deserved for putting a knife to your throat! But you quickly understood that he was simply being cautious, scared, just as you’ve all been.
Everyone had been on edge the entire time as you tackled a whole cascade of challenges on your ongoing quest to find a cure: stopping druid rituals, fighting hags and harpies, vanquishing a whole camp of goblins. But throughout all of those adventures, you had noticed Astarion slowly gravitating towards you, closer and closer. And you found that you, too, were gravitating towards him. Which scared the absolute shit out of you.
When you woke up with his handsome face so close to yours that one night, you almost jumped out of your skin. His cool body hovering over yours, his breath on your neck … it immediately sent your mind - and your body - into overdrive.
Honestly? When you learned he was a vampire and that he was simply trying to drink your blood, you were almost relieved. Or … were you disappointed? You couldn’t tell. Because what you thought was going on for a split second was that Astarion - strange, intriguing Astarion - was actually trying to kiss you. And you didn’t entirely hate that thought? Right on the contrary!
The thing was just that, well, you have never actually been kissed by anyone before.
While you were no stranger to pleasure, knowing full well how to take excellent care of yourself, you have never been in this position. With another person this close to you while you lay on your back. So many things raced through your mind when that admittedly devastatingly beautiful man knelt so close to you. You wanted to slide out from under him as quickly as you could. You wanted to slap him for not asking to kiss you first. And you also wanted him to pin you down on your bedroll and succeed in stealing that kiss from you. So badly.
That thought was pushed to the side, though, when he revealed his vampiric nature to you. For the first time since you met on that beach, you felt like you were glimpsing a bit of him, the real him beneath that debonair facade. And you liked that he was confiding in you specifically. Those ruby eyes pleading for your help, his urgent voice trying to explain his situation, and his disarming charm, asking if you could trust him just a little further. Even though you were angry that he didn’t ask before he tried biting you, you knew you would have said yes if he had. And then …
“Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?”
Your heart was racing a thousand beats an hour when you laid down back on your bedroll. You felt your cheeks flush, mixed with a tingling, cool nervous sensation on your skin. When Astarion leaned over you once more, one arm on each side of your head, you caught your breath. This felt so intimidating … so intimate. You felt exposed, excited, nervous, scared. And you wanted this. This was so unlike you. It was far more usual for you to be refusing the physical advances of others. But you didn’t want to refuse him. In fact, for the first time, you felt the exact opposite of your usual inclination. You wanted to allow him closer.
Astarion took up your entire field of vision, or at least it felt like all you could see was him. The way he held your gaze steadily made it impossible to look anywhere else. He had a soft, reassuring and thankful smile on his lips … and next thing you knew his fangs were piercing your skin.
It hurt. At least for a moment. Your mind was racing, trying to take all of this in, all these new sensations: The ice-cold feeling of his fangs inside you, his body on top of yours, his cool lips touching and sucking on your warm skin, his increasingly heavy breathing so close to your ear, the pain … and the pleasure.
When you felt him gently cupping the back of your head, you were about ready to actually kiss him. Feeling pressure building in your core, your legs began pressing together of their own volition, causing little jolts of lust to course through you as you felt a familiar heat rising between your thighs. You desperately wanted to wrap your arms around him, to sink your fingers into those beautiful white curls of his, give in to that delicious pain, wanting him to do more, to go further.
But instead you felt your head go woozy, snapping you out of your thoughts. No, this was too much. So you told him to stop, pushed him away gently yet firmly. You were panting, and so was he. He looked so radiant at that moment, so strong. It made you forget the pain in your neck, the way the world spun around you. He looked so happy, and you did that for him.
When Astarion turned around to leave, he stopped and thanked you, telling you he wouldn’t forget this gift you have given him. And you knew, neither would you. How in the Hells were you supposed to sleep now? After that? After you felt the weight of his body on yours, felt his soft lips on your skin, after being so close you smelled the slight perfume of … something herbal and citrusy? Gods!
You laid back down on your bedroll and for at least an hour you couldn’t sleep, your companions breathing calmly around you, unaware of what had happened. All you could think about was the image of Astarion, that little smile right before he bit into your neck, his hand caressing the back of your hair ever so slightly…
You let out a sharp breath, feeling the slickness between your thighs. Might as well ...
You unlaced the front of your trousers, looking around to your sleeping companions, who mercifully had either their backs turned or at least their heads facing away from you. You would just have to get this over with quickly. Biting your lips, you made yourself comfortable once more.
Practiced fingers slid below the fabric and to the folds between your legs, finding them already wet and ready for some much-needed attention. You closed your eyes and sighed as you began touching yourself, massaging your clit as you had done many times before. The thing that was new, though, was the image in your mind:
Ruby eyes piercing into yours with a desire so fierce it almost takes your breath away. You're lying naked next to the fire, a pale, equally naked, slender body between your open legs. And then the feeling of fangs penetrating your skin as Astarion’s cock penetrates you. A delighted smile flickered across your lips, both in your dream and in real life. “Look at you, my sweet Darling.” Astarion’s voice purrs into your ear, as he thrusts himself all the way into you, stretching you deliciously. “You are taking me so well.” Slowly he begins to roll his hips, knowing how to move just the way you want it, his thrusts quickly growing faster.
The pace of your own fingers grew faster alongside your fantasies, as you imagined what it would be like having him inside you, fucking you, filling you completely. A little whimper escaped your lips, it was hard to stay silent with your imagination running wild.
“Gods, you’re so tight, my love,” he says as he spreads your legs even further, exposing you, watching your juices run down the inside of your thighs, angling himself perfectly to be able to fuck you even deeper, harder, more. He wants you, just as you want him. It’s almost too much, your inexperienced body barely able to handle his expert movements. And you feel the familiar coil tightening inside you. “Astarion …” you whisper, desperately holding on to his soft white curls.
“Yes, my love?”, he asks, kissing the small wounds he’s made on your neck.
“Cum … cum inside me ... please,” you beg between his hard thrusts, as you feel yourself edging towards your climax. And just as the both of you come undone in unison, and you feel him unloading his thick seed inside of you, he bites down on your neck once more, causing you to moan out his name - and it’s music to the pale Elf’s pointy ears.
Unable to stop it, a little moan escaped you in the real world as well. Slapping your free hand over your mouth, you are pretty sure it really was his name that escaped your lips into the silent night around you. But the surprise at your own sound was swept away by the waves of your orgasm as it rolled through you, causing your hips to quiver a few times, before your breath began to calm, and you fell into relaxed bliss.
You pulled your hand free from your pants and wiped it on the grass next to your bedroll, feeling a lot more relaxed. Wouldn’t that be something, you thought as you lay down on your side. Actually getting closer to the mysterious vampire, getting to know the person you glimpsed a bit of today. Closing your eyes, you thought that, yes, you would really like that.
Oh no. You felt your stomach drop in surprise and your eyes shot open in realization. You wanted to get to know the real him? You wanted to get closer to him? You wanted to be more… intimate with him? It was then that it dawned on you… you were slowly but surely starting to fall for the disarming vampire.
Fuck.
:::::::
His blood was just starting to slow from his hunt, but his vampiric senses were still alert, sharper than usual. So Astarion’s pointed ears heard it before he even reached the camp. The rustling of the bedroll, the rapid breathing, the suppressed whimpers. Somebody was having a bit of fun.
Making sure to stay concealed by the darkness of the treeline, he looked towards the figures lying by the fire. Oh? Not wanting to disturb the vision before him, he stopped moving. Had anyone looked in his direction, they would have seen his eyes reflecting the soft light of the camp-fire like two tiny round mirrors. What do we have here? His ruby eyes locked onto Tav as they tried to keep their pleasured movement on the bedroll to a minimum. What a delicious sight that was.
Astarion had known Tav had gotten quite attached to him, most likely falling for his wit and charm - and obviously his looks - as most did. Otherwise, why would they have allowed him to drink from them? And it was amazing, drinking from them, too. Astarion licked his lips at the memory. Tasting the blood of a thinking being, tasting them. It had been … so intimate. Better than he had ever imagined. He usually only pretended to enjoy the closeness of other people. But not Tav. He couldn’t have picked a better person to be his first.
Frankly, he even enjoyed their company, such as it was. And he knew they enjoyed his company as well. But this? This was a display he hadn’t anticipated. At least not yet.
Shaking his head ever so slightly in disbelief, Astarion was almost impressed by the bold endeavor: Tav, pleasuring themselves out in the open by the campfire? Sure, everyone was asleep, but anyone could awaken any moment from their little moans and catch those fingers dancing amongst their folds. If Tav was this desperate to release their need for him after he’d fed from them earlier in the night, they must desperately want him. A scheming grin grew on his face as he realized… This could work.
He was sure the others in the camp would know about his condition by morning. And knowing full well that people don’t trust vampires - perhaps understandably - he needed to be sure Tav was on his side. Tav was their fearless leader and fierce protector. They may have unwillingly slipped into that role, but they had sway with and the trust of everyone in camp, including him if he was being honest. If Tav kept him under their wing… he wouldn’t get flocked or kicked out. He’d be the first one protected, heard out in every conversation, involved in every plan the group made, and therefore… powerful by association. Safe.
All it would take would be what he had done for 200 years already: some casual seduction and an offer for one night of mind-blowing ecstasy to lock himself into that kind of ideal position.
Tav’s breathing grew faster then, the smell of their arousal and pumping blood slowly beginning to fill Astarion’s head, breaking his concentration for a moment, his attention now fully on the show in front of him. It was then, as Tav climaxed, trying to suppress a moan, that Astarion heard it. Clear as day. Between the whimpering and exhalation: His name, cried from their lips.
And just like that… Astarion had laid out his nice, simple plan. Oh this would be easy.
:::::::
The next morning you could barely bring yourself to look him in the eye. He was your - almost - innocent traveling companion, and you had thought of him for your dirty little fantasy. You knew this was going to drive you crazy! So you promised yourself you would stop this, trying to cushion the fall as you were definitely falling for him. But when Astarion asked you how you’ve been feeling after the bite, with his trademark smile and his charming words, your nice, simple plan fell apart instantly when you heard yourself offer your neck to him again for tonight. As he happily accepted, your heart leapt in your chest.
Things only progressed from there. Between your party’s adventures, the fighting, tending to each other's wounds, laughing with (and sometimes about) Gale, and watching Shadowheart and Lae’zel bickering with each other, you and Astarion … connected. As you began to share your stories, laugh more at each other’s quippy jokes, indulge in witty banter with every conversation that sparked between you two, you started to see more of that man that you had glimpsed that night he first bit you. Beneath the well-crafted, snarky, and charismatic facade was someone who had endured horrors you couldn’t even imagine. Beneath his undeniably stunning looks, you saw the whole picture - the flawed, broken, resilient, complex person that he was. You began caring for him so deeply, more and more each day. You were falling for him… oh, you were falling for him hard.
Many nights you spent taking care of the desire that Astarion had been fueling inside of you. It was almost embarrassing how much you were pining for him, each night in your bedroll by the fire or in your tent, where you so often wound up with shaky legs and wet fingers. You imagined his hands were the ones roaming over your body, knowing every sensitive spot, his fingers sliding inside you, curling just right, making you gasp and shiver with pleasure. And his voice in your ear, whispering all the filthy things he wants to do to you, will do to you. He was inside your head, and you truly began to yearn for him to be inside your body, too.
Oh, how your body reacted to him whenever he was close and Gods, you really hoped he could not sense it. When he chose to sit next to you by the fire, even though there was plenty of space elsewhere, you imagined his hand sliding around your neck to pull you into a deep, passionate kiss. When he would pick pieces of foliage - or goblin guts - from your hair or stand so very close to you while helping you into your armor, you imagined him pulling you behind the closest tree and taking you right there and then. And the fact that he was so openly, outrageously flirtatious with you, and only you, saying all the right things at the right time, didn’t help either. It drove you crazy with confusion, with adoration and with desire.
So when a celebration was in order after your party had succeeded in vanquishing the entirety of the goblin camp and its leaders, you found yourself sauntering over to Astarion’s tent. You were nervous, more so than ever, but there was a strange confidence roaring within you. With spirits so high, the blood still running hot from today’s victory, you felt this might be the night. You wanted it to be. And you wanted it to be with Astarion.
You were sipping from his wine bottle to calm your nerves, when he actually, finally, suggested that the two of you could make your own entertainment. It was like the surrounding music faded away, replaced by the sound of your blood pumping in your ears. The honeyed words from Astarion’s beautiful lips promised you things that made your knees weak.This was what you wanted, what you had been waiting for.
So … you agreed.
Part of you even appreciated that he made it clear where the both of you stood at all times. He told you that he liked you, that he came to enjoy the whole package, assured you that if you wanted to - and you did - the two of you could lose yourself in your own little piece of nowhere. But he never promised it would be a committed arrangement. And honestly, with the tadpole inside your head, the descent into the Underdark before you and with the whole party looking to you as their leader, you kind of appreciated that there were no strings attached.
When you found yourself walking through the trees and brush towards the clearing after everyone had gone to bed, you felt equal parts excited and nervous. Yes, you wanted to do this, you wanted for your first time to be with Astarion, but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared as all Hells. From everything he’d told you, from the way he came on to you, there was no question as to how experienced he was and what he expected to happen tonight. “And I do mean sex, to be clear. We’ve waited long enough.” And that you had indeed. You’d waited long to find a man you felt this good with, this close and attracted to.
So when you stepped into the clearing and Astarion came out from behind the tree trunk bare chested in only his breeches, your mouth ran dry at the sight of him. Gods, he was the most beautiful person you have ever seen.
“There you are��”, he said, and your whole body trembled at the sultry sound of his voice. You could see it already - lying on the soft grass beneath him, under the stars, allowing him to kiss you, touch you, trusting him to take you places you’ve only ever been in your wildest fantasies. “I’ve been waiting…”, he continued. “...Waiting, since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you.”
His voice was so deep and sensual - but suddenly the nervousness in the back of your mind began to overwhelm you. Had he? Had he really been waiting for you? Your already pounding heart began skipping a few beats at a time, fluttering at the thought. What if … you disappointed him? What if he left this clearing tonight feeling as though the wait hadn’t been worth it?
And just like that, you were not so sure about this anymore. Oh no.
You couldn’t do this, could you? Look at him! He’s beautiful! Were you beautiful enough for him? Why was he even looking into your direction with Shadowheart and Wyll around? You’re absolutely no match for them. And he clearly knows what he’s doing and what he’s expecting is likely far more than you can give. What in the Hells could you possibly offer him? What if he didn’t like being with a novice like you? What if he didn’t like what he saw when you lay naked in front of him? Gods, you wanted him! But how much fun and pleasure would you be able to realistically provide for him, really? After all, you had no idea what to do, you have never even kissed anyone before!
You looked up into those ruby eyes, looking for reassurance, for safety, and found them… painfully devoid of that spark you came to love. You froze. His beautiful words suddenly felt so flat, calculated, and practiced. You didn’t know if it was your sudden wave of nerves preventing you from going through with this, but you knew then at that moment… this wasn’t right. No, he didn’t truly want this.
“Hold on - I’m not sure about this,” you quickly said. That seemed to bring Astarion back to you - but not in the way you would have liked.
“Then what are you doing here?” Astarion’s surprising shift in demeanor caught you off guard. You took a step back, not expecting him to talk to you in that tone. His voice almost sounded condescending, indignant. Just like that, your walls that the vampire had managed to take down brick by brick over the past weeks began rising back up again. “I thought we had an … understanding.” You took another step back when Astarion’s whole posture changed, going from seductive to dismissive. As if, now that he couldn’t have you, he had no use for you anymore and by doing so he tapped straight into your biggest worry with pinpoint precision. You felt the impossible urge to explain, to salvage whatever tonight would have been.
“I-I know, I’m sorry …”, you stammered helplessly. “It’s just… Do you really want to do this?” Astarion tilted his head, his frown deepening.
“Now why would you think I didn’t, after all this?” He sounded irritated as he flung his arms wide, gesturing to nothing in particular.
“I don’t know. Maybe you feel like you have to do this? Like - as payback for me letting you drink from me? Because I promise, you don’t have to, I don’t need anything in return.”
Astarion crossed his arms and cocked his hip, sneering down at you.
“Listen, just say the word and we can call it a night.” You were desperately looking for the right words, only for Astarion to speak before you could say anything. “But if you want to back out, don’t use me as an excuse for it. You’ve wasted enough of my time already.”
His words felt like a slap in the face.
“I’m just not sure if I can give you what you are expecting, what you want.” Gods, you hated how desperate your voice sounded.
“But why? What exactly is your problem?”Astarion kept pushing and something inside you snapped.
“Because I’ve never DONE any of this before, alright?!”
The words exploded right out of you. The amount of emotions you were feeling at that moment was overwhelming: anger at him, disappointment in yourself, sadness about how this night suddenly took such a turn. You stared at him, breathing hard, your cheeks flushing. Neither of you spoke, Astarion only looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.
“I… I am going back to camp,” you eventually said before finally forcing yourself to turn and leave.
Gods.
This had been a disaster. This was not how this should have gone! This should have been a night - your first night - of passion, exploration and fun with this Elf you truly cared for - and who now was most certainly angry and annoyed with you for ruining his night. Did you overthink it? Should you have just gone through with it? What if whatever you and Astarion had built over the course of these last few weeks was now shattered beyond repair? How could you have pushed him away in a moment that should have been so pleasurable, so intimate?
Getting sleep was not easy that night. And the next day, you and Astarion didn’t exchange a single word. You knew your companions noticed. They knew something was going on between the two of you - but they were kind enough to let the matter rest and not ask you about it as you packed up your belongings and headed towards the empty Goblin Camp to enter the Underdark. With all enemies already vanquished, the day was uneventful, which made the silence between you and the vampire seem even more deafening.
:::::::
How, how could he have missed that? Astarion couldn’t get that question out of his head.
It was the one question that had been whirling around in his head all day while the party had continued towards the Underdark, tensely ignoring the silence between him and Tav, who usually were bantering lightheartedly all the time.
Astarion watched them as they suggested setting up the camp for the night, the last night under the open sky for who knew how long.
How had he not picked up on Tav’s inexperience? He normally could smell a virgin from miles away! He knew the shy looks, the aversion to touch and his advances. But Tav? They threw him for such a loop! They gravitated towards him. And honestly … he liked that.
Besides, he figured virgins didn’t understand pleasure, didn’t know how to pleasure themselves. But Tav obviously did! He had heard them moan his name, seen proof of their knowledge of their own body with his own eye. But most importantly: proof of their desire for him.
Astarion’s mind whirled as he paced in his tent. Why did they have to tell him that?
It should have been so easy. It should have been a plain-and-simple, routine night of sex and pleasure for Tav. But now they had to throw him that little piece of information about themselves and… Astarion stopped pacing. He’d sworn off virgins long ago. That kind of innocence, it was too rare in the world. And after stealing it once from that sweet, darling boy… he’d sworn he’d never steal it from anyone else ever again. So he had learned to recognize and avoid virgins. His meager, unnoticeable act of disobedience to his former Master. It was the only thing he was proud of - if he could even call it that.
And, gods, the things he threw in Tav’s face? Shaming them for hesitating? What the fuck was he thinking? Their fierce leader, who stormed into a hag’s swamp with no hesitation, had hesitated before him. And instead of guiding them … he had scolded them, even humiliated them. Astarion felt ashamed of himself - something he had never wanted to feel again, now that he was free. But he felt it nonetheless. He had to apologize. It didn’t matter that he snapped at them in frustration because he saw his plan crumble, because he was scared, because he was … disappointed. If he was honest with himself.
Because he was. He was disappointed that Tav wanted to back out. The realization hit him with a force he did not see coming. Yes, seducing them was part of his plan. Yes, he had used all his favorite lines at them. And also … yes, he would have liked to sleep with them. A feeling he had not felt in … gods know how long.
Tav had been so nervous, their heart beating so quickly and loudly Astarion had heard it before they had stepped onto the clearing. They were opening up to him. Trusting him. And he? He would have taken that trust and used it. He truly was a monster. Tav didn’t deserve this. Despite how last night went … he cared for them. His eyebrows flew up as he realized just how true that thought was.
He cared for them.
Shit.
:::::::
You sit by the fire, pondering last night’s fiasco and today’s unpleasant silence. Seeing how you’ve got the second watch, you should probably be more vigilant, but your thoughts keep going back to last night. Which is probably why you don’t hear Astarion approach.
“Hello, my dear.”, he says in a low, almost careful tone, pulling you from your thoughts. You look up at him, not sure what to expect. “Do you mind if I sit?” He motions towards the log you are sitting on, toward the place beside you that he took many nights. Always choosing to be close to you instead of choosing any of the free logs. You shift to the side, making room for him. Again, feeling him so close to you, his arm brushing yours, it sets your whole body on high alert. You still want him - but you aren’t so sure he really wants you anymore, or if you’re ready to forget the way he spoke to you. But regardless of the horrid tone he had taken you still feel that guilt and shame for letting him down.
“I’m… sorry about last night.”, you eventually say, even though part of you wants to wait for him to apologize first. He turns to face you.
“Whatever are you sorry for?” he asks, a bit surprised.
“For backing out last night. I know we had an agreement and it’s not that I didn’t want to, you know? It’s just … ” with a deep sigh you turn your eyes towards him, and you are glad to see that spark in them once again, that spark that was missing last night. “I’ll be honest, ok? I like you. I like you a lot, and … I would have loved to have spent last night with you. But … I also know I don't have much to offer you, in terms of sex. We’ve all been under a lot of stress lately, so I understand you probably wanted to let off some steam … and I’m sorry I messed that up for you.” Cheeks burning with embarrassment, you turn your gaze back to the fire. You sit in silence for a moment before Astarion speaks.
“No. You have no reason to apologize for anything, my dear. I was quite out of line, inexcusably so. I should have relented the moment you had any doubt. I… apologize.” His words make you look towards him once more. Never had you heard Astarion apologize before, to anyone at camp, for that matter. “And I will do my best to refrain from feeding into this … thing between us, if it truly makes you uncomfortable. I will cease my flirtations, I promise.”
“What? No, please don’t?” you say quickly, unable to stop a shy smile from appearing on your face. “I … quite like your flirtations. And I wanted to spend the night with you, you know. I still do. But … let me ask you … ” The pale Elf patiently waits for you to find the right words. “Do you really want to sleep with me?” Astarion’s eyebrows go up, that surprised expression returning to his exquisite face.
“Darling,” Astarion’s tone is affectionate, reassuring, and hearing him call you this pet name with that sweet voice of his makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. “Are you really asking me that, after all I did? All I’ve said to you?” There is a slight edge to his voice now, though you can’t pinpoint what it is. He smiles at you with one corner of his mouth raised slightly and you half expect him to laugh, but Astarion falls uncharacteristically quiet, so you speak.
“Answer the question.” The amused smile on Astarion’s immaculate face disappears and gives way to a look of seriousness, of sincerity.
“Yes. I do,” he says in a low but firm voice. “Very much so.”
Relief floods your entire body, the tension you felt all day melting from you.
“Then … may we start over?”, you ask timidly with a smile on your face. Astarion answers with a gentle smile of his own.
“My dear. There is nothing I’d like more.”
#ohoh herdarkestnightelegance wrote something#this is about astarion#astarion ancunin#wait is it gettin hot or …#astarion x tav#baldurs gate 3#astarion x you#astarion x reader#astarion fanfic#astarion fanfiction
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Girlll did you delete your last fic? Whyyyy I was about to read it😭😭
Your Best Nightmare | Lestat de Lioncourt x Reader
ෆ being away from your companion, as both of you take on stardom, can be frustrating, but it is very rewarding to see your maker for the first time in months.
(anon asked for bi!reader w/ crossdressing lestat and if possible some nsfw content)
girl, somebody messaged me and said it was weird and i was confused like you watched a show with vampires killing people like bffr, but ig i’ll repost bc somebody else asked too 😂

The crowd seemed more lively than ever, screaming the frightening lyrics, but paid them no mind. Humans, despite having dominion over nearly every species, were quite stupid. They all had things they liked, they idolized, and in many of their eyes, it didn't take much to seem trustworthy to them. A quick photo of you holding the cheek of a beautiful mortal, and overnight, you were a national treasure — proof that vampires were not a danger.
Vampires, although people of the night, were only bound by their circumstances, and if there were others, they deserved the privilege to reveal themselves. It was cute, really, the same songs that were once deemed monstrous, alarming, and cultish, were now innovative, you were now an icon, like your lover, the vampire Lestat, you were simply adding your contribution to rock culture. However, they didn't even realize, all of them were wrong. They couldn't be more wrong about everything.
I'm your best nightmare,” you sang, as the audience joined you.
And then it happened, you were in my arms
Your lips on my throat- your hands on my, on my...
Two bodies together, the intimate sin
The pain and the pleasure, could do mortals in
How could you know, what I'm thinking of
To me lust can be, as beautiful as love
Here tonight, your pure heart and soul
Untainted passion should have no control
She asked me if I...
I told her the truth
I said "I'm sorry, it takes me, longer than you"
She smiled and blushed, and continued to grind
And promised to make me, go out of my mind
Returning her promise, she, came to a halt
Licking my lips, I, tasted her salt
Then she sat up and gasped and clutched at her breast
I thought she was coming- I'd never have guessed that
As she grew pale, as white as a flower
She collapsed to the floor and was dead in an hour
Hearing the humans singing along to the deranged song, you nearly laughed. Too foolish to grasp the very lyrics, escaping their mouths. A song about your very first hunt, alone. Delilah, the name itself brought a nostalgic tingle to your tongue.
You remember the night utterly, from the time you stumbled out of your coffin, to you crawling back in. You sat alone at the bar, The Dungeon, a frequent spot for tourists when she caught your eye. Dancing against her friend, they both laughed loudly, singing along to the music. Her skin was flawless, her makeup dark, with an incredibly flattering dress, hugging her curves beautifuly.
Just from staring alone, you almost held your throat from how thirsty you were. Standing up, you approached her, her friend nudging her, their eyes shifting to you.
"Hey," she smiled, briefly biting her lip.
"Hey," you repeated, peering into her thoughts, not a single piece was left unattainable from your view.
"Are you here alone?" she asked you, her friend whispering that she was going back to their group of friends, to give her privacy.
"I'm afraid I am," you smiled, as she moved closer, tilting her head.
"Then I'll have to keep you company"
"I'm very difficult to entertain"
"That's because you haven't met me," she giggled.
"Ah, I see, and what is the name of the woman I've waited for?" you asked her.
"Delilah"
"Very beautiful-
"Please, I was named after my grandmother," she said, smiling as you chuckled.
"I'm Y/n," you said, holding out your hand, shaking hers.
"Would you like to get out of here? Maybe have some fun at my place?" you asked, leaning closer, to glamour her.
"Yes, I'd love to," she smiled.
"Good girl, why don't you tell your friends that you're headed back to your hotel for tonight, because you're tired, and I'll meet you outside," you winked, watching as she went to the group of friends.
It wasn't much longer before you were both nude, her moans only continued to arouse your longing appetite. Her gentle kisses, and promises to rock your world, as her orgasm drew near — it only made you want to rip her to pieces more. Holding her soft hips, you felt your fangs emerging before you began to suck from her breast. She panicked for only a moment, choosing to follow along with your erotic behavior.
"I'm coming," she cried, grinding against your thigh. Her breathing hitched, feeling your cool fingers near her glistening pearl.
"You taste just as good as you look," you whispered, staring down, as you hovered over her.
"Your turn," she giggled, her eyes still shut. If only she had opened her lovely raven eyes, to see the monster in front of her. Blood dripping from your mouth, as you stared at her, seeing her for nothing more than she could ever be to you, food.
"Unfortunately, you won't get the honor, tonight, as your life is coming to an end," you said, and just as she was able to open her eyes, you lunged forward.
Draining her, you could sense her heartbeat, hear her thoughts, and feel the sensation of her nails clawing into your back. It was all euphoric, you were a monster, you could admit, and you loved every bit of the thrill, of experiencing such an occasion, with stunning humans.
As the final song came to an end, you waved, bowing at the arena of people, the music fading, as the stage lowered, giving the illusion that you were disappearing. Going backstage, you thanked your team for working so hard for the tour, before you changed clothing — and headed to your hotel. You intended to catch your flight tonight, but with the concert ending so late, you couldn't take the risk, as the sun was bound to rise in the next hour or two.
Although you felt impatient, you would have to wait another night, before you could catch the private jet to New Orleans, to him. Lestat de Lioncourt, your muse, maker, lover, and companion. He turned you nearly 40 years ago and you have been inseparable ever since.
With the both of you busy with your careers, the two of you promised that it would be fine to have flings on the side, as long as there were no feelings attached — not that you would be able to feel anything for another anyway. You had yet to meet another as passionate, as he.
As the driver stopped the car, you quickly made your way into the building, as the sunrise began to peak from behind the buildings.
"Good morning, miss Y/n," the receptionist smiled, batting her eyelashes as you looked her way.
"Morning," you winked, before entering the elevator.
Going to your floor, you stopped for a moment, seeing Amanda, your assistant, standing at the door, it only meant one thing, groupies. Your team sometimes selected women and men, bringing them to your room. Your publicists emphasized how important it was for you to not be seen hunting, and you were simply playing your role.
"Thank you, Amanda, why don't you go get some rest?" you spoke, grinning as she jumped, glancing over at you.
"Yes, of course, sleep well," she nodded, practically running to the elevator.
Opening the door, you squinted, trying to allow your eyes to adjust to the dim room. The blackout curtains blocking any potential sunshine. Hearing the sound of the faucet running in the bathroom, you entered and shut the door. Taking note that you couldn't hear any thoughts, you looked around for a handbag or wallet, to identify the person, just as the bathroom door opened.
Gasping, you couldn't contain the large smile, as Lestat exited the bathroom, he wore a black bralette, cheeky knickers, and a silk robe on top. His blond waves looked even more luscious than usual, with a light pink gloss on his lips and blush.
"You came to California, to see me," you said, trying to swallow the emotions bubbling inside. You felt so elated, seeing him for the first time in months.
"I couldn't go another day away from you, chéri," he confessed, as you moved closer, embracing him. Mumbling a low, "baby", while he held you near, placing a kiss on your lips.
"You look so pretty," you giggled, as he pecked your lips again.
"I had to look my best to get your attention, I've seen the woman that come to your shows," he smirked.
"They don't stand a chance, next to you," you said, as he stared longingly into your eyes.
"I missed you," he finally said.
"I missed you too," you said, as those words were all he needed to hear before his lips were connected to yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth.
Biting down on your lip, he groaned, lifting you in the air, walking over to the bed, before breaking the kiss — as you peeled each article of clothing away, your eyes set on his piercing blue ones.
"This is so cute," your eyes twinkle, as he removed the robe, the obvious bulge in his panties catching your attention. Sitting on the bed, in front of him, he went to his knees. Kissing your lips, he moved down your neck, holding your waist, as you arched your back. "Love," you moaned, feeling his breath against your skin, causing goosebumps.
Laying back, you bit your lip, as his mouth traveled south. Kissing your glistening pearl, before hungrily consuming her. Your fingers found their way to his blonde tresses. Your eyes could hardly stay open, as his tongue repeatedly lapped over your cunt.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you moaned loudly, "I'm so close," you said, the orgasm escaping, as his long fingers moved up to your breast - caressing them.
"I wasn't sure how much longer I could take, being away from you," he spoke, as you agreed, pulling him close to kiss his lips, smearing the lip gloss on his pale skin.
"Take this off, please," You tugged on the bralette, you needed every part of him, bare.
As he stood, you grinned, exploring his toned body. He kept his usual sultry eye contact, as he slowly removed the lingerie, purposely teasing you.
"Lestat," you whined, giggling.
"Patience is a virtue, ma chéri," he smirked, as he approached you, bound to another night of sharing his endless love with you.
"Fuck Patience, I need you now," you groaned, making him laugh.
"Anything for you"
in the original post, i explained that all of the upcoming posts won't be released in a particular order, since i’m working on everything in my drafts.
#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt x reader#lestat x reader#lestat de lioncourt
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A One Direction fic rec of friends to lovers fics where one (or both) character(s) is dating someone else as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis / Harry -
⊹ Remember Me Before You by @kingsofeverything
(E, 293k, New Girl au) Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers.
⊹ Inevitable by Etoilenoire
(E, 185k, ex fwb) AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.
⊹ Own the Scars by @crinkle-eyed-boo
(E, 144k, addiction) After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth.
⊹ Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams / @cursethedaylight
(M, 131k, ex-fwb) When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.
⊹ if it kills me by you_explode / @nobodymoves
(M, 110k, The Office au) Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for three years. They're best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry's days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry's engaged to someone else.
⊹ It started with a whisper by jaded25
(M, 92k, uni) Louis isn't someone who Harry thought he could ever be with, and Louis never thought he'd break his rules for anyone.
⊹ Far Away. by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes
(M, 57k, exes) Harry returns to London after five years. Stuck in the past with "what ifs" and "what might have beens", he sees that his friends and ex (and possible love of his life) Louis have all moved on with their lives while he finds himself questioning his own life choices, past and present.
⊹ keep me warm and nothing else by Halos_Boat / @halohamilton
(G, 50k, exes) On New Years Eve, Louis contemplates revealing how he feels to Harry, only to find out that Harry is now engaged.
⊹ Love Isn't Always on Time by @softfonds
(E, 45k, Made of Honor au) Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a good idea, until he comes back from a work trip engaged to another man.
⊹ Big, Bright World by RealName
(M, 35k, office) The only problem? Harry was engaged to someone else and had been from the moment Louis started working at Visionary.
⊹ Tightrope by @sadaveniren
(E, 33k, mpreg) Louis gets pregnant from "one last time" sex and he and Harry somehow think they'll be able co-parent without it being weird for anyone (most especially their new boyfriends).
⊹ speak now or forever hold your peace by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze
(E, 23k, Love Rosie au) the one where Harry crashes Louis’ wedding
⊹ Meet Me At The Rat Hole by Niallinjapan2013
(E, 16k, roommates) Harry and Louis are best friends. Harry is in love with Louis. But Louis has a boyfriend named Shane.
⊹ Saw It In Your Eyes by @taggiecb
(E, 15k, roommates) When Louis starts bringing a new guy home with him, Harry is surprised by how much it bothers him. Is he not as okay as he thought he was with Louis’ sexuality?
⊹ Waiting for Wonderful by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(M, 13k, pining) Harry is willing to wait as long as he needs to for his best friend to realise that they're supposed to be together, but it kills him to watch Louis struggle in his relationship with Mackenzie.
⊹ Treat You Like A Gentleman by @justanothershadeofblue
(E, 12k, neighbors) 5 times that Harry Styles was unsatisfied by his dates, and one time Louis Tomlinson helped him find what he had been missing.
⊹ Something To Live For by orphan_account
(M, 5k, vampires) After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates, Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa.
- Rare Pairs -
⊹ Eight Days by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13
(T, 22k, Liam/Louis) Louis and Liam got hitched in Vegas, completely forgot about it for more than a decade, and it comes back to bite them. Sort of.
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An enstars social media fic with outsider pov included (aka, fans and the public) must be very funny because then you'd have:
• Random no idol fan person asking why is a highschooler going around with a sword.
• Video compilation of Rei Sakuma acting like a vampire.
• Video compilation of Rei Sakuma acting like an old man.
• Conspiracy theories about Eichi Tenshouin and how he "is totally hiding something guys. I don't trust him!"
• "Yes. Wataru. He's hiding Wataru. Look at his hair! That guy can't be human." As a reply to above.
• Alkaloid spotted accounts because they still believe they're not actually famous.
• Regarding the above point, Mayoi's photos are mostly purple blurs or dark corners where you can see a figure who somehow the fans know it's Mayoi.
• Aira's are taken mostly at idol events— others' idol events. A moment you're waiting in the line with your friend, the next you look back and realize the dude behind is Aira from Alkaloid.
• Tatsumi is greeting or smiling at the person behind the camera in most of his, except when he's getting out of a car. Then he's smiling the brightest— and everyone else is pretty much not.
• Hiiro's are a mix of 'spending time with friends/his brother' or a selfie with the person with the camera after he almost gave them a heart attack by dissapearing and reappearing right next to them.
• Shun's accounts in anywhere having an apparently random number added at the end. It actually is the number of the times he had to get a new account to the date.
• Madara fans putting his face in cowboy pictures and cowboy memes the same.
• Madara putting his face in cowboy memes himself and refusing to use normal ones.
• Kanata logging in once a month to post the name of a submarine creature and nothing else during the rest of the day. Sometimes with a picture for reference, which can vary from a photo of the species to a bad drawing of a fish.
• Madara evolving to put his face on mom memes.
• Someone jokingly asking Madara if he can adopt them and getting a positive answer. But they have to call him Mama.
• Hiyori's fans asking him every morning what's the veredict. If he answers Good Hiyori, they rejoice and act like they're going to have a great day. If the answer is Bad Hiyori, they rejoice and take meassures to prepare themselves for a shitty day.
• No one knows if they actually have good or bad days as per Hiyori's answer.
• Occasionally, Hiyori is going to reply with a Good Hiyori but remind to take their umbrellas anyway.
• In an interview, Hiiro is made a question about what song did he enjoy performing the most and he answers sunny trip summer. Immediately Aira affirms that is because he wants to eat lemons. The conversation sidetracks and now no one know if that is the real reason or not, just that Hiiro likes lemons a lot.
• "Alkaloid sidetracking compilation" and the video is four hours long.
• Sakuma Ritsu falling asleep video compilation.
• The rest of Crazy:B exposing Rinne for fun and revenge every so often. It goes from stories from when he just arrived to the city (once he got Niki really pissed off) to his latest act of brotherly pride to, one time he made HiMERU snap, finding any embarrasing moment of his and @-ing Hiiro at it.
• [Many days] since Eichi had to be ingressed into the hospital.
• Hokuto-senpai.
• Knights posting a photo of a small part of the lyrics for their new song:
"what kind of writing tool is that?"
"is that ketchup?"
"why is it written in ketchup"
"Mustard doesn't have the same effect."
• "If I had a nickel for every time [an idol used ketchup to write on non-edibles] I'd had two nickels, which is not a lot but is weird it happened twice".
• "It happens more than you'd think". Actual ES member response.
• People asking Koga to recreate the fight with the guitar.
#ensemble stars#enstars#hiiro amagi#madara mikejima#hiyori tomoe#crazy b#eichi tenshouin#wataru hibiki's hair#tatsumi kazehaya#mayoi ayase#aira shiratori
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even if it takes an eternity . . . 西村力



hai im back maybe ! short kinda angsty drabble of vampire ki cause iv been obsessed with @hoo-n-i-ki's vampire/twilight rk story (๑ △ ๑)* not proofread bbbtttwww
"So, what? You're just gonna leave again?" Her voice was sharp and stern as it always was, even when she was being sweet, her tone never faltered.
And she spoke like someone who knew what they wanted, someone who knew exactly what to do, and she told herself that she was that person. Whether she believed that or not was a different question
Riki could sense the disappointment that crept up her throat; he knew it was his fault, she'd drag him back home with continuous quotes of "You can change", and "deep down there's still human in you", but he knew there wasn't. He knew that despite how much hope she had, he had lost all desire to ever rekindle his old human nature. At some point, her convictions and comforts had turned into silent prayers that he'd believe in himself and they knew that, but seeing his eyes, so red and cold, just past them she saw someone worth forgiving, someone worth fighting for.
Riki looked to the ground, his way of channeling his shame. "Why won't you give up?" Cold demeanor falling as his voice shook "Why won't you just move on. Iv accepted this and you should too."
Looking at him, so beautiful and so ruined. Sighing at the sight you thought for a moment, truly pondering on whether anything you said would help at all. "I think..." His eyes flickered up slightly, her voice sounding much less confident then it did a few moments ago. "If you were truly gone, the human side of you i mean. If he was truly gone, you wouldn't keep coming back. You'd stop hearing me out when i plead, and you wouldn't bother holding me when i run to you again and again. But you do, so clearly, even though you won't admit it, you have hope that you can be happy again."
His cold eyes softened slightly, only enough for her to notice. "The day i give up on you is the day i see you bleeding out in the snow. Until then ill keep trying, i mean... we have forever anyway right?"
"Don't you get tired of waiting on me?" The cold air filled her lungs as she took in a deep breath and hummed "No, not really" "Were doing nothing but going in circles." She sighed "If it's you, i don't mind going in circles, even if we have to do it for eternity." She smiled slightly, and he hated to admit it to himself but maybe a piece of him was still human. Seeing her smile, her fangs slightly peeking out from her lips, was something he missed more than anything while he was hiding, it made his heart feel like it was beating again, even for a split second.
He was scared of hurting her, of draining her of all her hope and happiness, but more than that he was scared of losing her, even if he'd never say that.
He'll probably run away again, and they'll probably have to start over like they have for months now, but their cold hands feel warm within each other, and their past regrets disappear when they're together, so even if they do keep going in circles, he knows he'll keep coming back, no matter what.
note: haii!!! Im back for now, the riki vampire fics have made me want to write again, and i currently have a weird obsession with vampires! idk why! But I'll probably expand on this/write a new rk vampire story in all !! ദ്ദി ˵ •̀ᵥ_ᵥ- ˵
lowk couldn't figure out how to end this so it's poorly done and this whole thing is lowk ass dookie, sorry ^^
#enhypen#nishimura riki#enhypen niki#enhypen riki#niki#riki x reader#niki enhypen#niki x reader#enhypen x reader#srry °❀
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this is just a little weird idea but what are we thinking about monster high…….. 😭😭😭oot your fic was actually fucking amazing i started foaming on the mouth i LOOOVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BLUEBERRY BOY KAI. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FOOD… I FEASTED HARD…
AAAAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR EATING!!! And omg my 2 favorite things?!? monster high and strawberry shortcake
Ok so I had this discussion with @beomiracles before and I'm took notes from her
NSFW/MDNI mostly suggestive
Yeonjun - Cleo
Ugh they're both glamorous, fashion forward, they look and act like they're better than you but in reality they're goons.
I can just imagine Yeonjun with his gbgb hair with those highlights, lots of gold jewelry, and lets talk about him being wrapped in cloth. Treat him like royalty because he is, feed him grapes until he sucks your fingers. Unravel him from his cloth and reveal the real gold bar iykwim. AND have him restrain your hands with his wrapped cloth as you lie in his fancy padded coffin.
Soobin - Draculaura
Both are just little sweet, caring beings, yet they both hide their more serious scary nature.
Every time you leave the school into the thick woods a hand grabs your wrist, Soobin begging you to not go in the sunlight and just stay in the dark with him. Soobin pouts when he can't see his reflection, you remind him of his beautiful, dimples, plush lips, round nose, and all. Future Vampire King he likes to test his powers, making your brain fuzzy by hypnotizing you, reading your dirty thoughts, and although he never drinks anyone's blood he will drink yours.
Beomgyu - Clawdeen
I've said it once and I'll say it until I die, BEOMGYU AND HIS WOLFCUT IS 😤👹😛 plus Clawdeen is a fashionista while Beomgyu has been a beauty star lately.
Beomeen and his wolfish tendencies,,, playing/running around, you can never get him to settle. His long hair always getting into a mess and OMG does he love it when you fix the strands, turns into a little puppy begging for pets. Then,,, he goes into heat, the full moon is as bright as ever and he’s growling, howling, and so hot to touch. The scariest yet sexiest version of Beomeen.
Taehyun - Frankie
They both love to learn new things and have the biggest eyes
Ok ok ok the sparks you two share. Tyunie Stein always accidentally jolts you with his electricity. He wants to touch you, cuddle, hug you but he has to relax and prepare himself before doing so. Tae would also adore your body as he has multiple stitched up body parts, he likes to study your parts. imagine him switching dick sizes…
Kai - Lagoona
I always associate Kai with anything water and sea so it makes sense 💁♀️
Platinum blonde Kai yesss WOOF imagine LagoonKai swimming and lifting himself out of the swimming pool and his torso is all wet and muscular 🤤 He teaches you how to swim and is so playful, splashing water, holding you in the water, and you’re holding to his finned arm so tight especially when having sex in the water…
A nuisance,
TxT Devil
taglist: @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling , @incogrio , @izzyy-stuff
#txt devil#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#txt imagines#txt x reader#txt x you#txt x y/n#txt thoughts#txt devil asks#yeonjun x reader#soobin x reader#beomgyu x reader#taehyun x reader#hueningkai x reader#txt smut
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Twilight °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Reiji Sakamaki x Female Reader
🚨 Attention!! 🚨
This content is reuploaded from my previous account! 🐰✨ It has been processed through AI to improve the spelling since I had quite a few issues with that in the past.
Please enjoy! 💕 And if you'd like, feel free to leave a request! 💌🌸
Reiji has taken a special interest in you- wether it was from controlling you to making anything in his power for you to suffer if you "let" any of his brothers bite you.
WARNINGS: Reiji might be OOC, kidnapping, dubcon, toxic relationship, reader is forced to be a bride.
ALSO by pale i don't mean any specific skin color! I just mean your skin is paler than usually. My fics are meant for anyone of any ethnicity, skin color and weight to enjoy, as i myself am have a more tanned skin & chubby i understand how hard it is sometimes to find a fic that can represent us.
You stared at your naked body in the mirror of your bathroom, your skin pale, filled with bruises and bite marks.
Hate didn't even begin to describe your feelings towards this house - filled with dangerous men who treated you like prey, capturing you only to bite down on your body, stealing your blood against your will. At first, you saw Reiji as some sort of savior, making his brothers leave you alone so they wouldn't go after you, but then he began being worse, forcing you to take personal classes with him, a harsh metal ruler that would hit your hands whenever you did anything wrong.
You chose the wrong fork for dessert? Your fingers would end up bruised and purple as he hit them with the ruler as punishment- and when he wasn't there, he'd lock you up in your room, leaving you helpless if one of the brothers decided to teleport inside your room to feast on your blood.
Your only hope was the window on your room, if you could somehow make a rope you'd be able to climb down and run away - you'd even jump down, death sounding better than this hell. After all, you realized Reiji's true intentions - making you his bride, his extreme "classes" being not for your own "wellbeing", but to turn you into his lobotomized wife.
You felt like a lobotomite, and while it wasn't with a needle deep in your brain, each bruising bite from him made your brain twist and stop thinking by itself, only doing things when Reiji allowed you to, your body almost becoming limp so he'd control it whenever he wanted.
You began dressing up, knowing it wasn't safe to uncover your body in this house - all the purple and red hues in your body being hidden by your clothes. Your eyes lacked any life, filled with hatred for this life your father sold you to.
Months passed, and you were like Kanato's dolls, lifeless, the only difference being the nectar running in your veins was still warm and not fully drained. But Reiji no longer liked it- he changed from your personality to your overall physical appearance to his likings, but there was that defiance you used to had he liked, how there was still some fight in you that gave you life.
You sat in the couch next to him, a long rococo dress adorning your body and little fangs poking from your mouth, a cup of tea in your cold hands as you stared at nothing, as you no longer spoke unless being spoken to. Reiji stared at your silhouette, gorgeous, made perfectly for him, but dead inside. You turning into a vampire being Karlheinz order so you could be loyal to the family, the other brothers no longer interested in you where they awaited a new bride.
The transformation was weird, as you felt your humanity slowly leave you.
However, that glint of hope returned as your body no longer was afflicted by human limitations, and Reiji losing interest over you giving you more opportunities to run away - so you waited for the perfect moment, and under the lie of going to the garden, you disappeared into the shadows.
Reiji instantly noticed your absence, as you were usually by his side, gorgeous like a china cup, but so broken that it didn't matter how many times you were stuck back together, everyone could see the cracks beneath your pattern. It left him... Odd, he wasn't stupid, and could tell how your eyes suddenly began shining again, that small hint of hope you used you had when you just arrived making a turn back, so he expected to be able to stop you- but was it really worth it? A big framed oil painting of you hanged on the walls of your room, courtesy of Karlheinz when he saw you being Reiji's bride, but even in the painting you'd see your dead eyes, like a fish who was just gutted, like a bunny who had its neck twisted by a wolf- and the wolf was Reiji, who mauled your weak bunny body and kept your corpse as a souvenir.
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My Bloody Valentine (jjk)
Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x human reader (afab)
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 13.9k
Release date: Thurs. February 15, 2024
Genre: smut, fluff, humor, hella angst
Summary: You don't understand why your vampire boyfriend is so caught up in the idea of a silly holiday, until you realize it's about more than just candy hearts.
Warnings: Blood (duh), swearing, blood drinking, lots of angst, allusion to jungkook being bisexual, alcohol, brief description that sounds similar to disordered eating, jungkook is clingy and kind of a brat, so is reader tbh, accusations/assumptions of cheating, both are conflict avoidant which makes things worse, discussions of death and infertility, references to opiate addiction, medical theft, uh y/n kind of non-consensually feeds jungkook her blood, oral sex (m/f), masturbation (m/f), fingering, temperature play, unprotected rough sex, clit spanking, biting kink (!!!! just be warned lol), choking, dirty talk, mention of menstrual sex/oral kink, mention of somnophilia, creampie
a/n: Hi! Happy (late) Valentine’s Day! Thank you all for your enthusiastic support for this fic. I hope it exceeds your expectations (as it exceeded mine). I have some extra thoughts that I’ll leave at the end of this fic to avoid spoilers, but I hope you enjoy my little y/n and vampire Jungkook couple as much as I do. I would like to thank p for talking this universe through with me until it made sense.
“All I’m saying is that Halloween hardly feels like a holiday about vampires!”
“As opposed to what? Christmas?”
You’ve been standing in your kitchen arguing with your boyfriend for so long that the once-scalding cup of coffee in your favorite mug is now cold. Jungkook is sitting on the bar stool against the counter, his white shirt rolled up his forearms to reveal a similar pale shade underneath. You can see the corded tendons of his arms flex as he wrings his hands together in frustration.
When you woke up this morning, it was not from a lazy well-slept haze you were expecting to have. Instead, you had awoken to a crash coming from the kitchen, sending your heart jolting as you tried to make sense of the world and the source of the noise.
Buttercup, your cat and usual suspect for mischief, mewled angrily from her perch as she, too, eyed the wrongfully accused sleep disruptor. As she arched her back in one long, tail-shaking stretch, she glared at you and then twirled herself around to face the wall before settling back into her bed with a final huff.
If it wasn’t Buttercup, then it could only be one other creature.
You’d padded your way down the hall to the kitchen, only to see Jungkook already dressed and swearing to himself as he gathered the shattered pieces of a glass measuring cup and what looked like orange juice into a pile with a wet dish rag.
“Don’t come any closer!” he shrieked, and before you could even open your mouth to assure him you’d be fine, he'd already swooped you into the living room and onto the couch. “Don’t move!” he ordered and because you heard the sharp warning creeping into his tone, you obeyed.
An hour and a half later, the kitchen is a mess from what you now understand to be Jungkook’s attempt at cooking you breakfast for Valentine’s Day, a holiday that you both agreed you wouldn’t celebrate.
You take a sip of your coffee, trying not to wince at how it still somehow tastes burnt through the too-sweet pink sugar cookie creamer he’d doused it with when he insisted on making you a cup.
“No, of course not. Y/N! But don’t you think Valentine’s Day should be more about vampires?”
You snort, and the residual coffee on your tongue shoots to the back of your throat, sending you into a coughing fit.
“What?” You say when you finally regain composure. You set down the mug and glance around for a single cup in your kitchen that hasn’t been dirtied in this process of making…well…you’re not sure what. There’s some burnt edges of something in the sink, but a weird goo glazing various bowls that somewhat resembles pancakes. However, a bright green lump of…maybe spinach?...rests in those as well, so you’re not entirely confident where he was going with this execution.
Jungkook isn’t usually this oblivious to human tendencies, mostly because it wasn’t so long ago that he himself was a human. In the year you’ve been together, you’ve learned all about Jungkook’s swift descent into vampirism. Unlike many of his kind, he’s a fledgling. He was turned a handful of years ago and doesn’t exist in the ancient, strange accents and customs form of vampire some know. Nor is he a sleepless, sparkly teenager with superhuman speed. Yes, he has fangs, is paler than the normal person, and he will not (you think) age. But as someone who has maintained his twenty-something appearance, this currently presents as a non-issue because, if still alive, he would still be a twenty-something.
And unlike the stereotypes of his kind, Jungkook is not in a decades-long bloodlust. Lust, perhaps, but it’s unknown if that’s because of his vampirism or because he’s a horny man. The one who changed Jungkook did so in a dark night club in Paris between searing hot kisses, where he slid his fangs along Jungkook’s throat while rutting against him on the dance floor. Jungkook, in that drunk and sex-induced haze, never suspected that the slight sharpness tracing along his jugular, sending a delicious chill down his spine, would result in him waking up three days later in a hotel in Vienna with nothing more than a vague note of warning and a few plastic bags of blood chilling in the mini fridge.
While he doesn’t consume much now beyond A or O positive, Jungkook often cooks you meals so you’re not as tired when you get home from work. It’s sweet, but you know that he does it for himself, for the reminder of his humanity and, as he once admitted himself, for the fact that more energy saved from you not cooking means more energy for him to fuck out of you seven days a week.
“I’m going to need you to explain your reasoning behind that logic,” you say, and finally locate a clean cup to fill with water.
Jungkook grunts, and when you glance over at him, you can see he's pouting, his dual lip rings pulled under one of his fangs.
“Well,” he says, tense, “I just thought…with all this stuff, Valentine’s Day should be more about, you know, vampires? Blood? Red? Hearts?”
“Baby,” you laugh, and fish around on the cluttered countertop for something to eat until you spot a bowl of strawberries tucked behind a jar of kimchi. Your stomach growls. “Valentine’s Day uses the heart motif because of love. You know that. You weren’t born yesterday.”
He rolls his eyes in annoyance and you furrow your brow before popping the sweet fruit into your mouth. What is going on with him today?
“Yes, I know I wasn’t born yesterday! Thank you for the reminder! But I’m saying that Halloween is this holiday that makes vampires into these beasts who suck and drain all the blood from bodies or sleep in coffins! Beware the dark corners of the world or else they’ll get you! But Valentine’s Day, what even is this about? A fat naked baby who spears you with an arrow and suddenly you’re in love with someone? Sounds way more monstrous to me! And people embrace this guy? People want him to stab them so they can be all fluttery in love and get all these nice things. But I have to be seen as this awful monster all the time? It’s just not fair!” he shouts, and swipes his hand across the counter.
You gasp as you watch an empty plastic container clatter to the ground before he brings his hands up to cover his face.
Jungkook isn’t one for temper tantrums. While he does have a tendency to be more sensitive, throwing things, even empty containers, is very out of the norm for him. You remember early on in your relationship, he once used a little too much of his supernatural strength to hit you with a pillow when you were both goofing off, which resulted in you being smacked right off the bed with the wind knocked out of you.
You spent the rest of the day posted up on the couch under his orders, while he waited on you hand-and-foot despite the fact that once you recovered (mostly from laughter), you were perfectly fine. It led to an eventual discussion about how you weren’t so breakable, where you proved your point by showing him just how flexible you were.
Which is why now, as Jungkook huffs all over the place, you know something is seriously wrong.
You move away from the strawberries and walk around the kitchen island to Jungkook, gently pulling his hands down.
“Hey,” you whisper, looking up at him. His hair has fallen into his face, disheveled from all his fussing in the kitchen and the many times this morning you’ve seen him running his fingers through it.
Jungkook yanks his hand away and stands, pushing away from the counter before stomping into the living room and pacing angrily. You follow him.
“Hey,” you try again, firmer. “You gonna tell me what is going on? Because normally you don’t leave a giant mess of whatever that is going on in the kitchen before you walk away from it, and you especially don’t walk away from me when I’m trying to talk to you.” Your jaw sets and you stand in the doorway, crossing your arms as you watch him pace.
He responds with a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, well that’s a start. Can’t even fucking cook my girlfriend a meal on this stupid holiday.”
This is exactly why you told Jungkook you don’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year. All week long he’s been making snarky comments about it, from rants about the greeting card company’s agenda to explaining how it’s become over-the-top and overrated to now, as of this morning, promoting vampires as the superior holiday mascot to Cupid.
Truthfully, you’ve always liked this holiday. When all the post-holiday sales were running months ago, you’d noticed a deal on the record player Jungkook had been eying for months but would never let himself have. His last one had started to break right after you two started dating, but he was always a good sport about it, cracking jokes about how the old-timey canned sound it produced didn’t play Eminem, but “Eminesquire the Third”. Prompted by the desperate need to replace the tinny echoes that haunted your apartment, you didn’t hesitate to snag this gift for him and immediately wrapped it before shoving it under your bed to give to him today.
Well, that was until all this started a little over a week ago. Up until that point, he’d seemed fine, never mentioning an opinion on Valentine’s Day. Then one morning you woke up and saw him complaining about how since he turned he would never be able to eat chocolate again. Which was incredibly dramatic, because Jungkook can eat if he wants to, but he chooses not to since it doesn’t do anything for him anymore.
Every mention of the holiday since, from the ads popping up on his phone to the colorful heart shaped decorations in store fronts, has made him irate and hostile.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but I didn’t ask you to make me breakfast,” you huff, now offset by his bad mood. “Like, I know that I told you last week we didn’t have to do any of this. So I’m not sure why now you’re trying to make some grand gesture of breakfast or stomping around arguing with me about the politics of vampires being a traditional mascot for Halloween instead of Valentine’s Day or how dumb you think this holiday is.”
His nostrils flare. “Well excuse me for trying to be a good boyfriend and do something nice for you!”
“What?” Heat flashes through your entire body as you feel the thin hold you have on your anger slip. “Oh, I see. So this is all about me is it? This is my fault? Tell me, when I go in there and clean up your mess of all my food you wasted by doing this nice thing I didn’t ask for, is that also for me as a treat? Or is that going to be leftover in the fridge for me to clean later?”
Jungkook’s eyes narrow as you match his anger. He opens his mouth to speak, but you raise your eyebrow, daring him to try.
“Ah ah,” you warn, your voice laced with venom. “I’m not fucking done speaking.”
He slides his tongue over his teeth instead before sucking in his lips.
“So, after I noticed it hurt you and said we didn’t have to do it, after I promised you I didn’t mind if we skipped the theatrics of this holiday, you what? Took it out on me? How the hell is this being a good boyfriend, Jungkook? How is you shutting me out for the last week, pouting and being an absolute brat doing me any favors? Showing you love me?”
You begin to feel the fury recede into something worse: pain. It settles over the heat, moving back down into your throat with a sharp lump.
“You wanna talk about shutting someone out, Y/N? Really?” Jungkook roars, halting his anxious movement. “That’s rich considering the secrets you’re keeping!”
Your brain buzzes with confusion and anger. You rewind the conversation, trying to form connections that would lead to this accusation.
“Are you serious? Wh-Do you think I’m cheating or s-something? Jungkook who the fuck do you think–” Your voice cracks, and you heft a heavy sob from your chest.
Never in your relationship have you two ever suspected the other of cheating. You’ve always been so certain of each other, that you two would never stray, that your connection and the very nature of your relationship demonstrated a type of bond that didn’t present anyone else as an option simply because you never wanted anyone else.
But given how things have been going, how Jungkook has been hiding things from you, you are starting to wonder if that’s not the case, if him pulling away isn’t to try to protect himself from getting hurt.
You’ve also tried not to notice how this month, when you counted the inventory of the blood bags stashed in the back of the freezer, it wasn’t nearly as empty as it usually was. You considered that maybe Jungkook just wasn’t thirsty, that maybe some of the bags you’d snagged from work, one of them being plasma, were satiating his hunger more than usual. With how Jungkook is looking at you now, eyes wide with the shock of your address, you can see you were wrong, the faint circles of thirst tugging under his eyelids.
You pull your shirt sleeve up to wipe your dripping nose, only to see it’s stained blue from some mysterious breakfast ingredient.
“I’m not saying you’re cheating, Y/N! God why would you think that! Fuck, no, this.” He produces a folded up envelope from his back pocket and shoves it toward you.
You sniffle and take the envelope, noticing it’s addressed to you. From your work.
Your stomach sinks. You know exactly what that is. “You know what? I’m going to take a shower,” you mumble, and you see in your periphery Jungkook’s head snap toward you.
“What?” he says exasperated. “Now? We–”.
You nod, choosing not to look at him now as you cut down the hall and shut the bathroom door firmly behind you.
You and Jungkook met, ironically, at a blood drive.
You were both volunteering to hand out snacks and mini water bottles to donors at the drive. This was a few months before Jungkook had gone on his Eurotrip, a few months before he would never again be able to volunteer with clinics to help patients.
While you’d met back then, and certainly had some chemistry that resulted in one really sexy car makeout ending with his hand down your scrub pants and you panting into his neck, it wasn’t until a few years later you’d reunited.
Jungkook had been pacing around the clinic near closing time, his thirst becoming far more unbearable by the hour. He had been trying desperately to avoid consuming human blood, but the various city rats or injured birds he was drinking from were still racking him with unfavorable guilt and an almost hazy sickness you remember sinking his features.
When you went to leave that night, you’d spotted Jungkook propped up against one of the glass doors, pale, with heavy bruise-like markings under his eyes. He was conscious, you’d noted, despite the fact that you couldn’t detect a pulse and his skin felt harder and icy to the touch. When you grabbed your phone to call an ambulance, he knocked it from your hand, instead begging you for a bag of blood.
“I can’t do transfusions, Jungkook, not here. That’s why we need to get you the hospital, so we can you look you over and–”
“No, Y’N, that’s not what I mean.” He’d laughed and flashed you a weak smile. “I don’t need a transfusion.”
“Then, what––.”
And that’s when you saw them: his fangs.
When you’d heard about Jungkook going missing in Paris, randomly disappearing in the night and showing back up months later with no story to share, there were rumors circulating that he’d started doing drugs and lost his job at the record store because in Europe he got hooked on opiates.
And you’d so easily believed that lie, though it soured your stomach. What other explanation was there for someone disappearing and coming back more pale, less human? You simply continued on with your work, finishing school in between and finding a more permanent presence at the clinic as a phlebotomist.
Feeling guilty, you turned around and headed back into the building, emerging with two bags of warm blood that you watched him practically shotgun in the passenger seat of your car. You didn’t tell him it was your blood, but as he told you later, he knew anyway. He could smell your particular flavor dotting the bandage.
Slowly, you and Jungkook became closer, you swiped a blood bag here and there from the clinic when no one was looking, sitting with him as he told you the story of him turning or the first time he fed. It seemed too surreal to be true, but as the dark circles under his eyes began to fade over the weeks, and his laugh started sounding more round and full, you felt like there was no way you could deny who he was, or more importantly, how he made you feel.
Being around Jungkook was addicting, which was evident in how easy it became for you to steal blood from the clinic without thinking twice. At first, you felt awful, knowing that each bag you were taking could very well be taking away someone else’s chance at life. But the more you thought about Jungkook, how he was just as alive as any human– how he feathered his fingers through his hair or how just a few years ago he breathed and moaned before you in the backseat of your car– what really was the difference between giving him blood versus some other person? Didn’t both bodies need it to survive?
The months ran on, and the crisp fall days that welcomed Jungkook back into your life were becoming tender, warmer as the early blooms of spring replaced them. Jungkook, too, was warmer, his body full and flushed with blood as he finally returned to as much of a human as he can be, reaching for your hand when you two walked through the park together, or falling asleep on your stomach while watching a movie.
Vampires sleep, you learned, though it’s not so much necessary as it is habitual, as Jungkook explained. He once tested himself to see how long he could go without sleeping, and as it turned out, the answer was evidently forever, for he managed three weeks not feeling groggy in the slightest. But sleeping helped time pass. Nights were lonely when the only people he wanted to interact with weren’t around, and grappling with being some shade of immortal often led Jungkook into a spiral as he processed time passing.
Therefore, sleep was welcome when it came. Especially with you, who he could tuck himself close to, and the soft beat of your heart served as his lullaby.
That’s when you knew that you loved him: when he told you that he went to sleep for you, that otherwise, he waited for you to wake up so he could see you again.
You’d become just as addicting to be around as he was for you, and you trusted it wasn’t just because you were his favorite teller at the blood bank who snuck him a withdrawal.
It was because he loved you too.
The fog on the bathroom mirror doesn’t show your reflection currently, but if it did, you know you’d see Jungkook standing behind you silently as you brush your teeth. Despite his stillness and his ability to appear without making a sound when he wants, your body reacts to Jungkook like a magnet pulled toward metal.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks finally, and you rinse your mouth.
“Because, I didn’t want you to feel guilty,” you say and reach for the envelope you left on the bathroom counter before your shower.
After a year of sneaking blood from the clinic, one year of popping plastic bags your into pockets after writing them off under a sealing failure or manufacturing issue or recording less volume in the official donation records or claiming a miscount in inventory, you were finally caught last week with a warm bag of blood in your possession.
Stupidly, you’d popped it into your purse right before an end-of-day meeting and in the rush to make it on time, you didn’t zip everything closed securely. When you inevitably knocked your knee onto the table while shifting to get more comfortable, your purse tumbled to the floor, exposing the vermillion contents within, and issuing you an immediate suspension.
Suspension, instead of fire only for the singular fact that the bag of cooling blood was your own.
You had known for a while that the clinic’s director of operations was becoming suspicious. The entire team had been subject to instances of recertification and retraining to try to address whatever issues that were leading to so many mishaps. It would only be a matter of time before the records kept showing your name attached to these transgressions, though you were almost relieved when you’d learned there were other various cases of blood loss occurring for factors you weren’t responsible for, most notably some interns who kept forgetting to put the bags containing red blood cells in the refrigerator, or who were not filling the entire bags, disqualifying the entire sample.
Overall, it would be safer to divest from your current plan, but finding an alternative to feed Jungkook was more difficult than you thought. You knew given the shortage of blood donations, you could no longer keep gleaning from work or other affiliates as resources.
But you also couldn’t convince Jungkook to feed from you.
You’d tried many times in the last year when he was dizzy or grumpy from thirst. And every time without fail, he refused.
“I haven’t even bitten anyone before,” he admitted one day, the dark circles under his eyes especially purple. His stubborn refusal slurred his speech into a lisp. “And I don’t intend to start now! Especially not with you!”
You’d dropped the subject, rooting around in the freezer until you found a blocky pint underneath a tub of freezer-burned ice cream.
But Jungkook had drunk your blood before on that first night at the clinic. And maybe if you executed things carefully, you could supplement some packets of your own blood in to help him get by. That way, he wouldn't have to bite you, but at least he would be fed. And you wouldn’t be at risk of imprisonment for medical theft.
So that’s what you started to do, slowly introducing him to your blood by creating fake donor names with the label machine and reprinting the same barcode as you filled bag after bag over the weeks.
And then last week, you got caught, your only assurance that you might only be suspended rooted in the fact that you hadn’t had the time to issue a fake label for the bag before the meeting.
And, because the blood was still warm in its pouch, because your arm had only just stopped bleeding, your case that you made of the blood being yours wasn’t entirely unreasonable. But what no one could understand was why you needed a bag of your own blood in the first place, much less why you were doing your own draw of it.
They confiscated the bag, as well as a small sample you offered for lab comparison to confirm it was yours, and they sent you home with the letter almost like you were a kid who was in trouble at school.
Your suspension is in effect until the board meets later this week to discuss your case, at which time you’ll be informed if you’re terminated or if you’ll be put on probation.
You’ve accepted that you might be fired, but what you couldn’t accept is the idea that Jungkook would definitely blame himself if he found out. Which is why you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him when it happened. If you did, you knew you would also have to admit to him that you have been non-consensually feeding him your blood instead of others’, which was a conversation you’d hoped to avoid until you were sure he would understand. Instead, you fucked up, and it’s all the more apparent as Jungkook frowns at you in the bathroom.
You rinse your mouth of the toothpaste, feeling a huge shard of guilt pierce your stomach.
“I wouldn’t have let you keep doing this if I’d known you were at risk of losing your job,” he mutters. “You already know I feel shitty even relying on you like this.”
“That’s exactly my point! That’s why I didn’t tell you! Because I knew we would end up here!”
“And that’s why this is a problem! You are failing to see how fucked up it is for me to have to depend on you to feed me!”
“Why?” You snap, and you immediately regret it, giving him an apologetic frown. “Sorry, I mean. Why do you feel so shitty relying on me? We’re partners, Jungkook.”
“Yeah, Y/N, we’re partners. Which means we are supposed to communicate with each other about things. That doesn’t mean you risk your entire career for me.”
“But doesn’t it, though?” You argue.
Jungkook groans and then wets his lips with his tongue before speaking. “No, baby. You’re not supposed to be making sacrifices like this! Not for me! Fuck, you shouldn’t be doing shit like this at all! You should be going to work, kicking ass, and then coming home to eat real food with your real boyfriend before you have incredible sex and then fall asleep!”
You cock your head at him, confused. “But, Jungkook, we already do that stuff.”
“No, we don’t, Y/N. You go to work, orchestrate some grand scheme to basically illegally harvest strangers’ blood during a national shortage, you come home and you eat. But I don’t. I leech off of someone else’s platelets. And then we have sex, and you fall asleep. And sometimes I do. But sometimes, I can’t. Because all I want to do is dream of you and I can’t do that anymore. Because I’m not real, Y/N, I’m literally a monster.”
You shake your head furiously and step toward him. “Listen. I made the choice to do this. Ever since the first day when you showed up at the clinic. I could have left you behind, I could have insisted to take you to the hospital anyway or put you in a headlock or something–”
“You are way too weak to put me in a headlock, even on that day,” he chuckles.
“I would have figured it out! But I had a choice in this Jungkook, just as much as you did for showing up, for asking me to help you. You could have gone somewhere else, or broken into the clinic after I left. You could have continued to live a half-life with a diet of rats and the occasional squirrel. But you chose this. You made choices, too.”
You push your toweled body into him, desperate for his touch. This is how you often are with him, needing him to ground you, to make sure you don’t spin out of control. He sighs, and you feel him circle his arms around you, his nose nuzzling into your wet hair. You shiver at the contact. Your shower must’ve been hotter than normal, because Jungkook feels almost like ice against your skin, much colder than his normal, albeit cooler temperature.
“Fuck, Jungkook, when was the last time you ate?” you ask.
He stiffens, then withdraws from the embrace.
“Get dressed,” he says, ignoring your question, before opening the door to the bathroom, the draft of the apartment, of his absence, leaving goosebumps on your skin in its wake.
The kitchen is clean, any and all evidence of this morning’s tirade gone. Jungkook has changed out of his jeans and button-down for a black hoodie and basketball shorts, solidifying the idea that he has no intention of leaving the apartment for the rest of the day.
You dress down similarly, throwing on a large ratty t-shirt and some sweats, very similar to the pajamas you’d been wearing for most of the day.
There’s a fresh pot of coffee brewing, but you ignore it, your stomach feeling sour over the idea of putting anything into it right now.
You lead Jungkook into the living room, and both of you sit on the couch, legs folded as you face one another.
“I know you’re not eating.” You try to say it softly, like an observation, but as the words leave your mouth, you hear them sound accusatory, tense.
“I know you know I’m not eating,” he responds, his tone even and cool. “I’ve seen you doing inventory checks daily.”
“You have to eat,” you urge. “You can’t just starve like this.”
“I’m not starving,” he says, still composed, distant.
“Bun, you’ve significantly curbed your consumption. You used to throw back two pints a day, easily.”
“Yes, well, that was before I found out my girlfriend was suspended from work for smuggling me those two pints, jeopardizing her entire future.”
“I don’t understand why you’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”
His eyebrows rise. “I don’t understand why you’re not making it the bigger deal that it is!”
“Because it’s not! Not really! I have it under control!”
“And how exactly do you have this under control? Getting fired? Ruining your life isn’t control!”
“I don’t think I’ll be fired. Put on probation maybe, but not fired.”
“And why are you so sure about that?”
“Because…because I didn’t steal someone else’s blood. And that’s a criminal offense. But the laws are muddier when it’s your own blood.”
“Your…your own blood. You were caught with your own blood.” Jungkook looks at you quizzically. And then you see it register. His pupils blow wide.
“I fucking knew it,” he says. “I knew I was tasting you. I thought maybe it was just because you were on your period for a little longer than usual this month, and that maybe I was catching something in the air and just mixing up the scent with the taste of the blood. But, fuck! Goddamn it Y/N! I told you I didn’t want to feed from you and you just went and did it anyway?”
“I’m sorry,” you admit, your cheeks burning with guilt. “I just wanted to help you.”
“By taking away my choice in the matter? By hurting yourself? Shit!”
“No. I–I know you said you didn’t want to bite me, so I thought maybe if I did it this way that it wouldn’t be so bad and you wouldn’t have to feel so bad about it! And then I wouldn’t be as likely to be caught at work. It gave me some protection too in this! The board is meeting later this week to talk about my case and because the blood results proved to be mine, they just have to decide an appropriate punishment. I’m not going to go to jail over this, and if I lose my job, I’ll figure something out. But, I really didn’t mean to take away your choice, and I see now that I did.” You feel your throat close as you begin to cry.
Jungkook is right, you took away his choice by doing this, and no matter your intention, he has the right to know.
“I’m really sorry. I completely fucked up doing this.”
“Yeah, you did. But not in the way you’re seeing this. God. It’s not about biting or not biting, it’s how easily you did it for me. How you keep putting yourself, your own health, at risk for me! You don’t get it! You stole blood for me for almost a year. And then when you started to realize your future was at stake, you took it from your own body. Which you shouldn’t have to do!”
You swipe at the tears pooling from your eyes. “You keep saying that. Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because it’s true, baby! You shouldn’t be in this weird supernatural chaos! It’s Valentine’s Day! You should be feeding your boyfriend chocolates or eating breakfast in bed. Exchanging presents and going on dates to dinner or the movies. Having sex! And not just sex, making love, making babies!”
“But you said you didn’t want to do any of that! Jungkook, I’m so confused. What is it that you want? If you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I have a present for you wrapped up that I’ve been dying to give you for months. And we can go to the movies. We can have sex… I don’t even want a baby!”
You pull a pillow into your lap like a shield.
“You do want a baby,” he accuses. You snap your head up.
“What? No, I–”
“You do. You told me on Christmas Eve, when we were watching that movie on the couch. You were falling asleep during it, but in that scene when he comes home after saying no to that deal, she says ‘I want my baby to look like you’ and you looked up at me so sleepy and warm and alive, and you repeated it back to me. You said ‘I want my baby to look like you.’”
You think back to that night, when you and Jungkook were cuddled up together watching It’s A Wonderful Life since he’d never seen it, and between sips of a very strong eggnog, you kept studying his face, almost overwhelmed by the idea that you could ever love him more than you did in this moment. When Mary told George she was pregnant, something just felt right about that phrase, and in your tipsy, sleepy, haze, you must have recited that part back to him.
Honestly, you do want your baby to look like him. You can’t imagine anyone else in the world whose features you would want to see copied into another human, one that you make together.
“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not mad that you said it. I’m honored. Because if I could have children, I would want them to look like you.” His voice is tight. “But I can’t give you that. I think if I could, we would currently be arguing over paint swatches and baby names while I rub your swollen feet, not this. Because fuck we have definitely not been careful,” he chuckles.
Despite the sadness in his voice, you feel yourself smirk.
“And even if we adopted, that doesn’t solve one of the biggest issues out of all of this. Which is that you will grow older and more beautiful and our children would grow older and more beautiful, and I don’t know if I will. I don’t know if I’m going to be doomed by the stereotypical vampire life because I don’t know who turned me. He didn’t give me anything to go off of. Maybe I age but I do it slower. Maybe I will never age. Maybe I live forever or just a little longer than you. Or fuck, maybe instead of living forever, vampires actually have an insanely short life span because we are just another type of mosquito derivative!”
You laugh at that, though you still feel the tears staining your cheeks, making no effort to stop.
“The point is, I can’t promise you anything human. I can’t promise you a normal life with me. Babies that we make, us growing old together. If I could do one thing different, I kinda wish I put a baby into you the first time we fucked around in that car. God knows I was hard enough.”
“Jungkook,” you choke, ignoring his attempt at deflecting. “I don’t care about any of that. I know I said that stuff on Christmas, but I didn’t mean it like that. Maybe you can have kids! Like you said, you don’t know. For all we know, my freakishly long periods might be a sign I’m infertile. I don’t know either, I haven’t gone to the doctor or taken tests because I haven’t been too worried about it. That or aging or any of this! My job even.”
“Wait, hold on, back up. You might be infertile?” He looks almost offended by his own use of the term.
You nod. “Maybe, but I haven’t really been thinking about it lately. I’ve been more worried about you, more focused on you.”
He squints. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been evasive and bratty and honestly just fucking awful. And I can see why. You’re thirsty. You stopped eating again. You started screaming about heart themed things being for vampires. You’ve been avoiding me…is that why you haven’t told me anything? Because of my work thing?”
“I still can’t understand why you are this nonchalant about your career,” he says and you shrug.
“Bunny,” you warn, and Jungkook crosses his arms across his chest.
“Okay, yes,” he concedes. “Part of this is due to that. Because you didn’t tell me. But also I feel like I’m ruining your life. And if that’s the case, if I’m taking so much from you, I want to take less. I want to be less.”
“I’m a parasite. A leech. I consume human blood to carry on living my nonexistent life. I sleep but I don’t dream. I can’t enjoy things the same way. I can’t be normal and that’s what you deserve. What you need. So if I’m going to be a parasite and dependent on you, I want to make things easier. You mentioned that gift under the bed…and, I don’t know that started it all. Got me thinking about all the things I can’t give you. All the experiences you’ll never have because of me. But how much you want it. Valentine’s Day. Baby, I know it’s a holiday you like. I see your eyes sparkle every time you pass the decorations and candy at the store. Of course you have had a present for me wrapped and ready since Christmas, because that’s you and how incredible you are. And I wanted to give you some of that back, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got that I can never be good enough for you. I can’t give you everything. And then this morning, I don’t know, I snapped. I tried to cook you something I normally can do with my eyes blindfolded and walking backwards but everything came toppling down around me and I got overwhelmed and ended up fucking it all up.”
Jungkook reaches across the couch, taking your hand in his, tracing his thumb across your knuckles.
“You’re so dramatic,” you accuse, and roll your eyes.
Jungkook retracts his hand and pouts. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“You’re being dramatic and over the top with this broody Edward Cullen shit. I’m sick of it.” You toss the pillow to the side and sit up on the couch, edging your body closer.
“For starters, you’re punishing yourself by not eating. Your hands are like ice, and that means you’re extremely underfed because very little blood is in you. Second, you refuse to eat because at first it was someone else’s blood and I could get in trouble so that justified not doing it. But now that it’s freely available, because it’s mine you have some moral conniption preventing you from nourishing your body. And all of this is circling around the same problem. Which is you deciding for me what you think I want and need.” You hover just above him now, your knees digging into the cushions on either side of him as you trap him under you.
“You decided wrong, by the way. You based what I want not on who I am, but on your own insecurities and fears about me, Jungkook. And that’s not fair to me.”
You plant yourself down on him, straddling your weight across his chest. Jungkook gazes up at you, a frown still etched on his face, though it’s grown softer.
“It’s also not fair to me that you are trying to control my decision about feeding from you or not. If you were a vegetarian, how would you feel if I had replaced your veggie burgers with meat patties just because I thought you needed the protein?” He asks.
You hadn’t thought about that. Your shoulders sag as you sit with the realization.
“I need you to trust that I won’t ever go back to feeling the way I did when we first met. Look at me, are the marks under my eyes as dark? Am I as hard or pale?” You shake your head, and Jungkook reaches up to your face, touching his palm to your cheek. “I am thirsty, baby. But I also know how to control myself. I have spent months with you, around your blood, smelling you when you do something as little as get a paper cut or have a large blood clot pass during your period. Don’t look at me like that, it’s literally just blood from your body, you as a phlebotomist know better than to find that weird or gross.” You giggle, trying to ward away the flush of your cheeks. “And yes, it hurts, but kind of like when you smell something really good cooking in the kitchen and your stomach growls. But that’s the worst of it.”
“Is it though?” you ask gently, trying not to argue with him, but his eyes seem almost cloudy to you.
His brows knit and he opens his mouth but then shuts it, nodding for you to continue. Instead, he strokes along your brow bone, then down the curves of your jaw, tracing your features with his index finger.
“Your eyes aren’t as clear as they are when you feed regularly,” you sigh sadly. “I don’t want to change you, at all. But you’re warmer then too. And on days like today, it would be nice to have you less frigid to cuddle up next to. But I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do. I was wrong to not tell you about my work stuff and my blood. Those are two big things that you deserve to know as my partner, and because they impact you directly. I’m sorry.”
You take his hand in yours and bring it down over your chest. “If you don’t want to drink those blood packs, I understand. We’ll find some other way of getting you blood. But we need to make these decisions together. All of them. No more of us deciding we know what the other person needs best. That means I am not force feeding you my blood, I know. It also means you don’t get to decide if I want to have a biological baby or if I want to grow old with someone else.”
Jungkook contemplates this, and then nods in agreement.
“Do you feel that?” You ask, glancing down to your chest, referring to your heart beat.
“Yeah,” he whispers.
“Good, because in all this, you keep saying you’re this monster and that can’t be further from the truth. Maybe I don’t need normal, because I don’t want normal. I want you. And I am alive and warm as a human is, sure. You insist you’re not alive. But what is life really? Do you need to be breathing and to have a beating heart like mine to experience love? Joy? The things that make up life? You feel me. Even if it’s all a habit now. The memory of your body, I don’t know. I don’t know how you work either but that doesn’t matter.”
“Do you need to have dreams or to eat chocolate or make babies to feel like you’re living, Jungkook? Because I don't think you do. I think your body and my body sitting here together, my heart pumping blood through me, more than I probably even need to keep me going, is more than enough for me. You loving me, I think that’s life. Is that not enough for you?”
Jungkook’s eyes are glassy, and he takes a deep breath, also probably out of habit more than necessity. “No, it’s more than enough,” he says. “I think this is life.”
You smile. “Okay, then let’s live. Let’s live like this. Whatever it is. And we can decide as we go what living looks like, alright?”
Jungkook releases his bottom lip from his fang. “Alright.”
You lean in, and Jungkook’s lips pull up into a smirk right before he kisses you, molding his body into yours with relief.
You welcome his tongue into your mouth, surprised by how cold even that is. When you pull away to catch your breath, you pull yourself tightly against him.
“We need to find you something to eat,” you say for what feels like the millionth time today, and Jungkook sighs.
“Tomorrow, okay? I just want to be close to you right now.” He burrows deeper into your t-shirt and you hum in agreement, letting the soft animal of his body feel like home.
The rest of the day, the two of you drift back into the softer and more familiar patterns of your relationship that the last week has disrupted.
Jungkook cooks you dinner, properly this time, a steak you wash down with a beer, the two of you discussing your friends and the latest episode of the show you finally have caught up watching, the tense air between you two perhaps not entirely diffused, but ultimately much more at ease than before.
You choose to not address the moment in your peripheral vision when you see Jungkook gnawing on some bloody gristle that he trimmed off the steak, his brows set in dissatisfaction as he tries to replace some of the nutrients he’s craving.
He’s thirstier than he’s admitting, you know, but you are trying to loosen the tight hold of control you are tempted to have.
“Hey,” you say as you load your dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
Jungkook, who is reading the beer founder’s story on the back of your empty can, perks up, curious.
“Do you want to open your present?” you ask, and can’t help but laugh at the way his face lights up at the suggestion.
“Oh my god, yes! I've been dying to know what it is since Christmas!” He beams, and before you can even move to go get it from under your bed, he’s gone, shuffling around down the hallway and cooing to Buttercup, who has just finished her own dinner.
When he reappears, he puts the gift on the counter and looks at you sheepishly.
“Um,” he says, and you can tell he’s desperately trying to be polite and well behaved like a small child on their birthday.
You snort. “Open it, Bunny.”
Jungkook rips right into the paper, his jaw dropping. “You! This?”
You watch as he takes off into the living room to disassemble the current turntable setup.
“Goodbye Old Play, Fall Down Boy, and Alicia Broken Piano Keys,” he sing-songs. “Damn, when was the last time we had music around here?”
You watch him putter around.
This, you think, could be a good life.
Lying in bed, you drift between a dreamstate and your overactive brain trying to process your reality. Thoughts of your job, more specifically what you’ll do if you actually are fired filter through your head. You suppose you’d change careers, but this job has always been the one thing you wanted in life, at least before you had Jungkook.
Between a body heat barrier of blankets and pillows, you toss yourself around and sigh, finally coming to a state of being fully awake. Jungkook shifts across the pile to alert you that he, too, is awake.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks gruffly, and you grunt as you roll over.
“Can’t sleep,” you whine, and you move one of the pillows shoved between the two of you out of the way so you can see his face in the dark.
The soft glow of the outside city lights shifts through the window, casting a hint of pale blue light across his face. Like this, he looks more wan, sallow, and your heart wrenches. God, it’s so hard to see him this way, starving himself, and you know you shouldn’t feel guilty, but with the day behind you, you feel the late-night flood of regret starting to taint your mind as you try to figure out how you let this all go so horribly wrong.
“Busy mind?” He asks, and you blink up at him, a little surprised by how it seems as though he’s reading your thoughts.
“Yeah.”
“Me too,” he grumbles, and then reaches out to pull you into him, his cold hands in an even colder room sending a tremor through your body.
“God, I’m sorry,” he says, and you clench your teeth.
“ s’okay” you mumble, and you push your face into his chest to warm your nose in his hoodie, throwing your leg over him to bring you closer.
Jungkook gently rubs your back, his touch light as his fingers trace up and down your spine. It tingles, sending a shiver that hardens your nipples.
“What were you thinking about?” he asks after a long pause.
You could lie, and then you wouldn’t have to worry that Jungkook would be awake all night carrying your baggage for you. But, you know how important this step of honesty is, so you take a deep breath.
“I-I just keep thinking about work. What’s going to happen? I don’t regret it, please don’t think I do or misunderstand. But I love my job. I love you more. It just feels all convoluted and scary. If I get fired, how will we afford this apartment? Find your blood?”
You feel Jungkook take a steep inhale, and you know he’s doing this to steady you, that his lungs don’t really need to expand but to breathe next to him, with him, is what feels the most natural to you both.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he says, and you fight the urge to cry for the third time today.
“I know it’ll be okay,” you assure him, “but I’m sad anyway.”
His fingers continue to strum along your spine, soothing you in the quiet winter night. At some point Buttercup gets up to go prowl around the apartment in her usual late-night zoomies, leaving you two alone in your little universe.
“I’ve been thinking a lot tonight, too,” Jungkook mumbles into the dark.
“About what,” you whisper. The wind outside kicks up, and you feel a sharp draft cut against your now-bare legs, beading you with goosebumps that make you shiver.
Jungkook tuts, shifting you to his side momentarily so he can reach down and pull up your thick duvet. You relish the return to warmth and lay back down on him, resting your head onto his chest while letting out a satisfied sigh.
“Feeding,” he says casually, but you can still hear the hunger in the word as he pronounces every syllable sharply. A different kind of tremor rocks through you, and you feel a tug of arousal behind your belly button.
“Oh,” you say, trying to be unaffected, but Jungkook sees right through you and chuckles.
“The first time I tasted your blood, you don’t even know what it did to me, Y/N,” he groans.
“It felt like every single dead neuron in my body was firing all at once again. I’ve never experienced anything like it. You were so warm, your blood was so thick on my tongue. I knew I was going to crave you for the rest of my, well I guess, existence.”
You squirm a little, trying to ignore the slight dampness you feel forming between your legs.
“Then, god, I thought I was going crazy when you were feeding me those blood packs. That I had wanted the taste of you so badly that I was imagining it somehow from knowing the way you smell.”
He continues. “I know I told you that I have control, but fuck, baby, you almost destroyed me with that little stunt of yours.”
Jungkook shifts, and you can feel his hardening length brush against your stomach. His thigh butts up against you, and you know he can feel the effect he’s having on you.
“How?” you ask weakly, and Jungkook flexes his thigh underneath you, putting a little pressure right onto your clit. The whine you’ve been suppressing escapes, needy and rich.
“I almost caved. One night while you were sleeping, Thought about waking you up by fucking you with my tongue so I could finally taste you again.” Jungkook’s cock twitches underneath you and you rut against him in response, the heat in your core building. “Shit, you were even sleeping with your legs wide open for me, your panties and those tiny fucking things you call pajamas shifted and your pretty little pussy was right there for me to taste. Practically begging me for it.”
You rock against Jungkook’s thigh, the broad grind of your wet panties against Jungkook’s thigh releasing some of the tension.
“Oh,” you moan softly, but Jungkook isn’t done talking, and he ignores you as his hands come up to your ass, his cold touch on your cheeks causing you to squeak as he pulls them apart to force you to rut harder, deeper onto him.
“I can smell you right now,” he says roughly. “You can’t hide it from me, you know. Your blood, your wet pussy, they’re equally delicious to me. Equally mine.”
You moan as he forces you back and forth on his thigh. “You like that, don’t you? The idea of me devouring you like that? Waking you up with my mouth swirling around that hard clit, have you drooling and begging for my cock before you even know what day it is?”
“Shit, yes. Yes,” you pant, and Jungkook laughs, grasping your panties with his fingers and pulling tight. The fabric shifts, digging onto your swollen clit, blurring your vision from the sharp, deep wail.
“Such a dirty fucking girl, humping me like this. Letting me use you like this. What happened to my good girl, hm? Where’d my baby go?”
You know the question is rhetorical, but you find yourself entering the familiar, delicious haze you often go to with Jungkook, one that has been trained to answer every question he asks.
“Still your baby,” you whine, and Jungkook laughs.
He reaches down, tearing your panties off of your body with a single tug, exposing your wet pussy to the chill of the air.
“Oh really? You’re my baby? I don’t know about that. My baby usually has her mouth around my cock by now.”
Obediently, you sit up, tugging your shirt over your head, your nipples hard and sensitive from your arousal. Jungkook groans as he takes in the view of your naked body, but before he can act, you hastily strip him of his hoodie and shorts to reveal his naked length.
Jungkook’s cock stands tall and heavy, and as you take it into your hands, you don’t mention how that, too, has become incredibly cold from his thirst. Maybe this hunger could be soothing in summer, but in midwinter, it is going to drive you insane.
You pull him into your mouth, determined to imprint some of your body heat onto him as you dribble your warm saliva down his shaft with a deep suck.
Jungkook moans above you, tangling his fingers into your hair in approval.
“Fuck, yes, Y/N. God.”
You use one of your hands to cup his balls, enjoying the heft of how full they are before stroking up and down the parts of his cock that you can’t take into your mouth.
“There she is,” Jungkook sighs, and you relax your jaw so you can take more of him in, edging his tip down your throat. He bucks up, and you gag, feeling the familiar tang of him spread across your tongue. Globs of saliva bubble out of your mouth as you attempt to fight the urge to gag more from his occasional thrusts.
“There’s my baby. My little cockslut. Fuck, I missed this.” You hum in agreement and Jungkook gasps at the vibration. He grabs your head, stopping you from bobbing.
“Shit…fuck baby, hold on. Stop. God, I almost just came,” he laughs, and your lips twitch as you slowly pull away from him, strings of spit still connecting you to his thick cock.
You look up at him as he steadies himself, smiling up at him devilishly.
Feeling naughty, you lean forward, testing the waters as you tongue around the head, taking one final, deep suck. Jungkook’s eyes darken in warning and you giggle, sitting back on your heels as you smile at him with fake innocence.
“Brat,” he mutters, and shoves you down onto the bed, his lips on yours before you can even breathe, tasting himself in the corners of your mouth with feral need.
He pulls away, tapping your knees with instruction to open, and you do, propping your head up on a pillow so you can see everything.
The curve of his nose rocks against your clitoris as he begins, and because Jungkook knows you so well, his hands clamp down on your legs to prevent you from squirming. You feel him dig one hand into your thigh, a warning not to try to take control, and you force yourself to relax as he begins exploring you, sucking one of your swollen labia into his mouth.
You groan, the slow method of him licking and sucking, moving down and up between the inner corners of your thighs back to your center feels both like heaven and absolute hell.
You have the urge to whine, to shove your hips up, maybe your neglected clit will get more attention, but you know better. Jungkook is testing you, trusting you in this moment not to fail him.
His eyes meet yours as feasts, the bruises under his eyes more dark now than they were earlier. Between the maddening, erotic swishes of his tongue against your clitoral hood and smug look on his face, you’ve had just about enough.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to play with your food,” you snap, and surprised, Jungkook pulls back, his wet cheeks and wide smirk indicating how satisfied he is with his torture.
“No,” he says, licking his lips. His fangs peek out from under his lips. “But I think my food really likes it when she has to work for it.”
You roll your eyes, and he brings his fingers to your clit, pinching it. You gasp.
“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” He scolds, and again you lose the urge to disobey.
You feign an apologetic look and buck your hips at him.
“Such a fucking bad girl today,” he chides. “If you’re not careful, I won’t let you cum. I’ll just use you like my little cumdump and you’ll have to figure out how to get off on your own.”
You shudder at his words and his shoulders straighten, satisfied with his apparent win.
“What do you say?” he asks, tracing one finger along your ridges.
You feel yourself trembling as his soft touch swirls around where you need it most, a frustrating, dizzy fury building in you.
“Jungkook, please.”
“That’s not the word I’m looking for.” His voice is dark, heavy in the cold of the room. Desperation is blinding you, only allowing you to think in fragmented sentences.
“I don’t know,” you whine, and you feel a hard slap hit directly onto your clit, sending a shock of pain and delicious pleasure through your body.
“Liar,” he snorts, and then rubs your wetness to soothe the ache. “You have a big girl brain, Y/N. I know you know what you need to say.” He dips a finger inside of you, you clench. “Or are you already too fucked out and needy to say it?”
Heat shades your face in embarrassment. Any other day, maybe, you’d challenge this, let him chip away at you until you are babbling and a mess underneath him. But the swell of heat in your core is pulsing what feels like everywhere in your body, including your head, and you rack your brain for the one word you know he’s looking for.
You pull a sharp breath between your teeth. “I’m sorry.”
“Good girl, I knew you could do it,” he says, and then he shoves his face into your cunt, more fingers dipping into your entrance. He begins to stretch you, pulling his fingers apart, urging more of your wetness to spill onto his tongue. “So sweet.”
Your hips twitch in the air and you fight to keep them down now that one side of you is freed, so you concentrate on him, pushing his hair back from his forehead as he devours you.
Jungkook’s eyes are so dark, pupils blown wide. And in them you see something more than just lust.
I’m thirsty, he’s telling you, the lines faint, but still there. He sucks hard onto your clit, a low sound tearing through his throat.
He’s asking you for permission, grazing his fangs along your inner lips, trying desperately to restrain himself as the hand still wrapped around your thigh tightens with a bruise-inducing pressure.
Then eat, you tell him mentally, your tongue darting out of your mouth to lip your lips as you watch him get lost in his instincts. You hum your approval, thrusting your hips forward and shoving his head further into you.
“Yes,” you rasp, finding enough air in your lungs to puff out your consent.
Jungkook moans and you watch the resolve break as he delivers one final satisfying lap over your clit before he bites.
Nothing In your life could ever prepare you for this.
That part of you, the very organ having the most nerve endings, is alive and electric, burning hot as if you are the sun, the center of the universe. And Jungkook is orbiting around you, grounded by the gravity of your blood as he feeds from your pussy, groaning and bucking his hips in pleasure against the bed. A whimper churns from the depths of your throat as you writhe under him. The heat, god it’s everywhere, from the slight sting of the bite melting away from your core to the heady, steady throb of your clit that makes you feel your pulse everywhere.
Jungkook too, is warming underneath you, the chill of his body flushing away with each feverish gulp he takes. His cheeks are slightly pink again.
“So wet, so good,” he praises you as he swallows, and you see the blood smearing across his cheeks as he dips back into you.
“Fuck, Jungkook,” you say shakily. His tattooed hand leaves your thigh, reaches up, searching for you in his feast. You don’t hesitate to lace it with yours, your hands a little clammy, but you’re afraid that if you don’t hold on to him, you might be lost among the stars.
He drags one of his fangs along the edge of your clitoral hood, and flicks your swollen bud with his tongue, self assured in your destruction. Your legs begin to close, but he growls.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he warns. His fingers press deeper inside you, thrusting toward the burning in your core that feels like it’s just out of reach. “You asked for this, now take it.”
“I can’t,” you say. “I can’t.” You thrash your head to the side, gaze unfocused as you take in the shapes around your bedroom you know once were pieces of furniture, but the combination of blood loss and building ecstasy has you feeling like you’re almost drifting from your body.
Jungkook clicks his tongue in dissatisfaction. “Look at me, Y/N,” he demands.
You force your eyes to him, and he instructs you to take a deep breath. You inhale shakily, letting him come into focus.
“You’re going to take my tongue. And then you’re going to take my fingers until you cum all over my face.” He makes his threat official, presses deep inside of you, thrusting deeper, toward the burning in your core that feels just out of reach. “And then you’re going to take my fat cock into my pretty little pussy and watch the cum drip out of it after I fuck you full of it, do you understand me?”
You tremble as he claims you. “Yes,” you reply and he leans in closer, thrusting his fingers in harder as you rock your hips toward him.
“Good,” he says. “Then give me what’s mine.” You feel him nip into you again, throwing you over with one deep suck.
You cry out, your hips twitching into the cold room, heaving deep broken gasps into your lungs, head spinning as you obey him. Your ears ring as you fall deeper under the wave, but you still feel Jungkook’s hand in yours, tender and encouraging as you force yourself back from beneath the current of your orgasm.
You try to steady your breath as you feel his drinking slow, his tongue placing a few laps here and there around your vulva in a gentle motion as he pulls himself away.
“Are you okay,” you hear him ask, though your eyes are trained on the ceiling as you try to stop yourself from seeing double. “Did I take too much?”
You’re not sure, to be honest, but you feel the warmth of Jungkook’s body cover you as he looks you over, feeling your pulse.
“Your heart is starting to slow down,” he says softly. “Can I leave you for a second to get some water?”
You make some kind of grunt of approval, and you feel him drape your covers back over you as he pads down the hall to sift through the kitchen.
He returns only a few moments later, a bottle of water and bag of heart shaped chocolates in hand.
You take the water from him and sip slowly, feeling the cool liquid soothing your hoarse throat, stabilizing you. You pop a chocolate into your mouth, the sugars melting your tongue tasting decadent.
When you finally glance over at Jungkook, you erupt into laughter.
“What?” he asks, his doe eyes going wide with panic. “Are you hurt? Are you okay?”
You fail to collect yourself, wheezing your breaths as tears burn your eyes. Maybe you did lose a bit too much blood, because it shouldn’t be as funny as it is, but he looks so full and flushed and innocent in light of what might just be the kinkiest thing the two of you have ever done.
His face is an utter mess, cheeks shiny and smeared with the faint pink of your mixed juices and blood. He looks like a child who just ate a cherry flavored popsicle.
“I-go look in the mirror,” you say between fits of laughter, and Jungkook looks at you confused before he obeys, standing and walking over to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room.
“Oh shit,” he mumbles, then laughs. “Looks like I was saving myself a snack for later.” He reaches for a tissue from on top of his dresser and wipes his mouth.
“How can you not feel that all over you?” you ask, coughing when you finally recover.
“I don’t know! My brain isn’t focused on anything else right now but you! Well, you and…” he gestures down between his legs, where his cock is flushed from the blood, twitching as you give it attention.
You feel a flutter in your core and let out a soft gasp.
“But really, are you okay?” he asks tenderly, sitting back onto the bed and rubbing your thigh.
You scan over your body, checking in with yourself. You don’t feel woozy or nauseous, just loose, like how most large scale orgasms feel. Your thigh you know will be bruised tomorrow, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. And your clit, oh.
Your clit is tingling, and your pussy is dripping wet.
“Fuck,” you moan, and run your hand down between your legs and press your palm to your clit, enjoying the added pressure as it throbs under your touch.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow, interested in your response.
You swipe your fingers through your folds and then pull them up. Surprisingly, the liquid is clear, meaning you’re not bleeding. Meaning that this dripping want is coming solely from you.
“What did you do to me?” You ask, and Jungkook’s eyes flash with worry as he moves closer, pulling your thighs open to inspect you.
“I hurt you?” he asks, panicking as he misunderstands. “God, I’m sorry Y/N.”
“No, no, baby, not like that,” you say, and you feel his hands fall from you as he moves to look at your face.
He scrunches his nose in confusion. “Then what–.”
“My pussy is tingling, and fuck look at me. I’m drenched.”
His eyes blow wide and he dips to look back down, his tongue darting out over his lip piercings as he takes in the liquid spilling out of you and onto the sheets underneath.
“Shit. I don’t know. Maybe my venom does that? I don’t even see a cut on you from where I bit.”
He sits back on his legs and his hand finds his cock, squeezing the base as he flits between looking at you and in between your legs.
You clench around nothing and a low, tortured moan escapes from his throat as he draws his hand up the base, wrist flicking to pump himself up and down in slow, delicious tugs.
“Y/N,” he says, and the way he says your name is dripping with need. You feel his eyes burn into every inch of you as he touches himself, causing you to mimic the fluidity of his strokes as you rub your clit.
“Please,” you respond.
“Cum for me again,” he demands but you shake your head.
“Don’t want to like this,” you say. “Want your cock in me. You promised you would let me watch your cum spill out of your pretty pussy, remember?”
His nostrils flare, and Jungkook jolts, flipping you over on the bed so you rest on top of him, his hard cock smearing with your wetness as he rocks your hips against him.
“We need to do something about that filthy mouth of yours,” he says, and you pant as you grind against him with broad movements, coating him with your juices. “The only time you haven’t said something bratty today was when my cock was down your throat.”
You moan, raising your hips off of his and taking his cock in hand. “You love it,” you say, and sink yourself down onto him in one solid motion, his thick length stretching and filling you to the brim.
He hisses and you begin to bounce, using him to curb some of the ache in your core.
He reaches up and wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing. You squeak, feeling him pull you off of his cock, and leaving you devastatingly empty.
“Did I say you could fuck me?”
You whine and he scoffs. “Maybe you don’t deserve my cum after all. Disobeying me like this. I told you earlier I wondered where my good girl went, and I think I was right. Didn’t know I traded her in for a disrespectful bitch.”
You feel your stomach flip with excitement at the new term and you clench around him.
He laughs. “Oh? You like that, hmm? Well, if I traded away my good girl, I better see how much of a whore her replacement is.”
He lightens his grip on your neck and the oxygen floods back, making your fingertips and nipples prickle with the heightened sensation.
“Well? Get to it, slut.” and he takes your hips, slamming you back down onto his cock with one single stroke.
“FUCK,” you scream, and your hips buck, overstimulated as Jungkook doesn’t even give you the chance to have control, his hands clamping down on your sides as he fucks you onto him.
“That’s it,” he rasps. “That’s it, take my cock like a good little slut.”
You cry out, clamping your arms around him and pulling his face into your neck.
“Jungkook,” you say, and he grunts in response, pounding into you with a rhythm so that when you come down, he pushes up, hitting you deeper with each thrust.
“You like that, huh? Being like little fleshlight? Me using you like this to fuck all my cum into?”
You clench around him, slightly light headed from where he’s targeting you, trying to hit your g-spot dead on.
It’s so good, so primal, and you know you’re almost there, but you need something more.
“Please,” you whisper, shoving his head into your neck. “Bite me.”
And that’s when you feel it, the tiny prick of his fangs as Jungkook pierces your skin and begins to feed.
Sharp cold pressure is immediately replaced with a silky, scorching wave of pleasure as his venom delivers that addicting tingle through your neck.
Jungkook, too, seems to be affected, his cock twitches in you as the blood fills his body, somehow making him feel thicker and a little longer.
“Oh,” you gasp as you feel the fingers of one of Jungkook’s hands reach down to your clit, rubbing it hard and fast.
He detaches himself from your neck and laps up the excess blood before he holds you steady and adjusts your position, placing you on your back as he hovers above you.
The cloudiness in his eyes is gone, the markings underneath have faded. He settles into slow, deep strokes, his eyes ghosting over your body.
“I love you,” he says. Your heart swells.
“I love you too,” you respond, and you look down at where the two of you are connected, your pussy making a vulgar squelching sound as he drags himself in and out, his cockhead glossy.
“More,” you beg. “Please I’m so close”. He obeys, picks up his pace.
He bends over you, pulling a nipple into his mouth and releasing it with a pop.
“Should I bite you here next?” he mumbles and you squirm in delight.
Each thrust is now jutting Jungkook right against your cervix, and you feel the wet mess of your pussy trying and failing to take more of his cock inside, relishing the warmth that now reaches every corner of you.
As you flutter around him, the mounting tension drawing you closer to orgasm, Jungkook dips down again, this time laving over your nipple, plucking it between his teeth and delivering a soft bite.
This sends you over the edge, a stream of white hot pleasure rocketing through your core as you gasp on top of him, your pussy clamping down and trying desperately to take him with you.
But Jungkook has better control than that, and instead of letting you rest, he sets a deadly, relentless pace, fucking you into overstimulation.
“One more,” he breathes between thrusts.
“Hurts,” you pout, but he knows you. Knows your limit.
“One more. I know your messy little cunt can take more than this, baby.”
He spreads you wider, hooking your legs back so he's deeper in you than before, the wet slap of his balls against your pussy echoing through your bedroom as you are coated with your wetness.
You groan and he keeps going, his fingers ghosting over your clit once but not staying. You huff in frustration.
“Words,” Jungkook demands and you take a deep breath, trying to rack your brain for something other than moans.
“Yeah,” is all you can manage, and with a dark laugh, he accepts it, placing his fingers back on your clit and finally, finally putting you back on track.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he utters, and this is how you know he’s getting close. The praise flowing from his mouth betrays his cold, dominating facade. “Such a warm, wet pussy. Just for me to fuck my cum into.” He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on his lip rings.
You moan, matching his thrusts with your hips, slamming yourself together harder, deeper. “God, Jungkook, please.”
“You gonna be good for me this time?” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. The tone of his voice is slightly higher, straining. “Gonna let me fill you up?”
“Yes,” you pant. “I need it.” His fingers circle faster, desperately working to make you cum before him. “Need to be full of your cum.”
You pull him into you, needing him closer, needing to feel the distance between your bodies to be smaller as you get closer. His fingers keep working, his thrusts hard and deep, hitting you exactly where you need it.
“Right there. Fuck your pussy, Jungkook. Take what’s yours.”
His hips falter. You place your teeth onto his neck and bite. Hard.
“Fuck,” Jungkook moans and erupts, his cock twitching as he spurts load after load of warm cum into you, giving you the last bit you need to send you off one last time. Your pussy spasms, greedily taking in everything he gives you.
“That’s it, baby,” he says, his voice shaky as he continues to anchor both of you to your bodies, to the sensation of being full and satisfied.
He kisses your temple, then your cheek, rocking his hips slowly against you as you come down, flushed and overwhelmed.
You feel almost weightless, untethered to the joints in your arms and legs. If you weren’t being held by him right now, you might think you were out in space, floating around without gravity. In the haze of it all, you feel Jungkook shift you onto your side, his body still linked to yours as his erection deflates, cum leaking onto the bedding below you.
You don’t care enough to do anything about it, instead clinging to his forearm, needing to feel him everywhere so you don’t disappear.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he says, and you’re confused by this, and then you realize you’re crying, wet tears stinging your cheeks as you shake against him. He runs his hands through your hair and down the length of your back softly. “I got you.”
You breathe a shaky breath as he wraps the blankets around the two of you, gently humming a song, sighing when he feels you wiggle your toes next to him and finally steady yourself.
You look up at him and he’s smiling softly, his eyes warm and brown like they were when you first met him.
“That was intense, huh?” he asks and you nod.
“But really good,” you add and he beams.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “I…”
He sits thoughtfully for a moment and you let him, trying to gain the courage to detach yourself and venture into the cold apartment to pee.
“I wish we did that sooner. I mean, I guess I should ask how that was for you. For me to, you know, feed from you.”
You wince as you shift away from him, feeling him slip out of you as you leak onto the sheets. Your sticky, damp legs beg for a shower, but you ignore it.
“I…it was a lot. But…but I liked it. The first bite, shit. You explained earlier how it felt when you first tasted my blood? About it being like how everything fired off in your body at once, right?” He nods. “It was like that for me, too.”
Jungkook smiles, pulling you in tightly against him.
“Do you think we can do that more often?” you ask shyly, and he laughs.
“Damn, once is all it takes for you to get addicted?”
You smack his arm. “Hey! No kink shaming! I didn’t judge you for wanting to go down on me during my period! While I was asleep!”
He sputters. “I’m not kink shaming! But you sound like you’re judging me now for it! We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to I’m sorry but I was caught up in the moment and the bloodlust and I was–”
You choke out a laugh, kissing him on his bare chest. “I’m teasing you...it sounds kind of hot actually.”
He hums in approval.
“I think we still have a lot of stuff to talk about,” he says after a pause. You sigh.
“Yeah. The great job reckoning is coming.”
“Yes, and not just that. I do want to talk more about you…your body. The…infertility thing. I want to go with you to the appointment, I mean if that’s okay? Even if everything is fine, or that you don’t end up wanting kids or whatever, I just want to be there for you through any of it, okay?”
You bristle a bit, feeling yourself starting to cry again. But after the day you’ve had, the intense, passionate sex, all of the things you will still be dealing with in the morning, you let the release guide you as your tears fall.
“Okay,” you say. You think about your conversations with Jungkook today, how he’s right. There are so many things you both don’t know about what you want or don’t want, about your own bodies.
“Um,” you say, and you pull back from him, rubbing up and down his forearms. “I want you to know something, too. I know that being a vampire wasn’t really in your life plans, and that there’s a lot of unknowns about it too. Not just about fertility, but like, it would have probably been nice for you to know you had magical tingly, healing venom that turns you into a sex god.”
“Hey! Was I not a sex god without the venom?” He scoffs, pretending to be offended.
You snort. “Okay fine, healing venom that turns you from a sex god to even more of a sex god. But you know what I mean. There are things that would be so helpful for you to know. To maybe take away some of the worry and those terrifying unknowns. And if you ever want to know, if you want to try to find your creator, I’ll support you in that choice. It would be hard, and maybe we wouldn’t find him, but I’m with you in this.”
Jungkook takes your cheek in his hand, his warm thumb rubbing across the skin.
“Thank you,” he says, and leans in to give you a soft kiss.
The world outside plunges deeper into the night, and after you clean yourselves up and change the sheets, you lie closely against each other. So many things remain unknown, but one thing you’re sure of as you watch Jungkook sleep: you have time to figure it all out.
©2024 by jooniperbonsai
ending a/n:
Thank you again for reading! While doing research about blood donations for this story, I was reminded that there’s currently a national shortage for blood donors in the US, and it’s safe to assume that this isn’t unique to just us. Right now, with the ongoing genocide in Gaza, blood shortages are extreme, and with the stonewalling happening preventing aid to enter the strip and Rafah, supplies, including blood for life saving transfusions, cannot make it through.
The Red Crescent/American Red Cross issued this statement in January:
“During emergencies, the American Red Cross will ship blood products outside of the U.S. following a specific request from the U. S. State Department for U.S. citizens overseas, at the request of the United Nations, or at the request of the affected Red Cross or Red Crescent society abroad. We have not received blood product requests for Israel or Gaza at this time.
For those interested in learning more about international humanitarian law and its vital role in protecting the innocent during armed conflict, please visit www.redcross.org/ihl. The American Red Cross has a duty to fulfill the Geneva Conventions’ purpose of reducing suffering during armed conflict. As part of our duty, the American Red Cross leads the effort to ensure Americans are informed of these laws and the humanitarian principles they reflect.”
While it’s not yet being asked for, I cannot recommend enough donating blood if you are eligible. There are many different qualifications for blood donations (if you’re not sure about your eligibility, please look at your Red Cross/Crescent website depending on your country). Your donation can help not just your local communities, but ultimately a population of people you might be unsure how to help. And if not, monetary donations are also accepted.
I’m not affiliated with this organization in any way, but I felt like it would be wrong to ignore this issue just in favor of a fun fanfic.
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Could I request a fluff fic for Astarion falling for a tav reader who's a bard and an amazing singer? Maybe he can't sleep, so he goes for a walk and finds reader singing to themselves, and he sits and listens, slowly realizing how hard he's fallen for them?
Thank you so much for putting this in my inbox! I hope you enjoy!
Astarion x GN! Bard Reader
I used the songs Nobody Knows Me At All by the Weepies and Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls because I am a cliche.
The moon glows brilliantly throughout the night sky and the stars don’t seem to realize how lucky they are that they don’t have to deal with feelings and masters and all the other terrible side effects of being a person.
In spite of his name sake, Astarion does not have the luxury of being blissfully unaware of the horrors life has to offer. It didn't bother him so much- he took each terrible thing as it came and rolled with the punches. Whatever it takes to keep him alive until the next day- it’s essentially his life motto.
Another thing stars aren’t burdened with- the need for rest.
Traversing into the Shadow Cursed Lands is the last thing Astarion wants to be doing and while he was already worried for himself, he found he has an entirely other worry weighing heavily on him.
Where in the hells are they? He thinks, its been an hour and a half now since they wandered off!
He is trying to not be so clingy and weird- you don’t seem to mind his company and his overbearing ness, but the others had been teasing him and he was rather sore about it.
They called him a lovesick bat amongst other things and he is not lovesick. You are a means to an end, nothing more and nothing less. Granted, no one else needs to know that.
Sleep continues to elude him as he waits impatiently to hear your footsteps walking back into camp or your scent to come rolling over him from the breeze.
It’s probably only been 30-45 minutes- realistically- but Astarion has found himself becoming very preoccupied and aware of your safety.
You are a squishy mortal- your heart needs to beat and you need to breathe or he will lose you and he can’t fathom the idea of not having you by his side.
His idle feet drag him to the forest, no longer able to sit and wait for you to make a reappearance.
I just need to make sure they are safe, he thinks, because otherwise I am not sure they would keep me in the group- yeah! That’s why I’m doing this. Nothing out of the ordinary.
While most feel terrified of the darkness of the wilderness at night, he feels comforted and engulfed in it. He loves the sun, but unfortunately, at the end of the day, he is still a creature of the night and that is where he technically belongs.
He supposes that’s another worry he’s had lately- an intrusive thought really- but what happens when this journey ends? You and the others assured him that they will free him from Cazador forever- Astarion even became a bit emotional when Gale said, “and he won’t find you alone!” when Astarion brought up the dangers of keeping him in the group.
You have rallied around him this whole time and stuck your neck out for him more often than not. The two of you have indulged in each other and been enjoying each other’s company, but right now he’s here and you may just not be attracted to the others.
What happens when everyone gets back to Baldur’s Gate? He’s seen you in pubs before and playing so the bar goers can stay on tune with the singer. You have your own little following of people who crave your attention and while you have told him it all makes you uncomfortable- those people would be a far more appropriate life match for you than a Vampire.
Astarion’s ears droop on their own at the thought. He thought he got out of the childish elven habit of slouching his ears long ago when Cazador beat it out of him- you seemed to have brushed off some of the vines. It’s like old parts of a factory are slowly being restored and as it is, he finds pieces of himself he subconsciously knew were there, but are new to him again.
For example- he loves a good practical joke just for good fun. He bought a cushion of sorts from Mol and put it where Lae’zel sits- covered with a blanket. She sat down on the log for her watch as quite literally everyone was sitting down to eat dinner. He fell off his seat he was laughing so hard- it was worth being chased up and down a few trees.
He also enjoys dancing for fun- you dragged him around the fire during the night of the Tiefling party and taught him more informal dancing and less of the stuffy shit Cazador forces him to partake in. You growled at anyone who tried to cut in- it was rather funny.
You are also quite the fan of the occasional shenanigan and he finds himself smiling at the memory of your baby hairs stuck to your sweat slicked skin as he kept watch for guards while you graffitied Vlaakith’s painting or when you waved at her instead of bowing.
Life is fun with you- he forgot why people enjoy being alive so much outside of not feeling ravenous all the time. He feels alive with you and the idea of you and him never seeing each other again for your entire life scares him. He doesn’t want to stumble upon an obituary some time in the future and ‘remember’ the person who saved him.
He wants to be at your side and it terrifies him, but it would be worse to be away from you.
Feelings- it’s disgusting and he does not like it.
Your scent becomes stronger on a more beaten path and he feels his alarm bells going off- jolting in the direction he believes you are and praying that every God actually hears him as he silently begs for you to be safe.
Your melodic voice and the sound of the babbling brook melts the worry in his body. Astarion’s pace slows slightly and he feels that annoying warm glow spread through his body.
You are sitting near the bank with your laundry in hand- Scratch and the Owlbear cub are laying down together nearby, one of the pup’s ears upright to hear any intruders.
It brings him some comfort that you have Scratch and the little cub- he isn’t sure he would fuck with an Owlbear Cub or approach a Bard with a bewitching voice calling out into the night like a Harpy’s song.
“When I was a child
Everybody smiled
No-body knows me at allllll
Very late at night and in the morning light
Nobody knows me at all
I got lots of friends, yes, but then again- nobody knows me at all-“
You stop suddenly and stare up at the moon and Astarion is completely enraptured with you and your singing. He feels charmed and he is entirely okay with it.
“I suppose that’s not necessarily true,” you say softly, picking at the grass and smiling to yourself.
Oh your smile- he feels himself slowly melt into the grass like a smitten school boy and his own grin dances across his lips.
They are talking about you, the thoughts sends shocks of happiness and twinges of guilt, your plan worked.
He should be thrilled, but he could honestly give a shit less. He is too busy listening.
“And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven, that I’ll ever be
And I don’t wanna go home right now.”
If his heart beat it would be pounding in his chest right now.
Your face is so relaxed, but he adores the furrow of your brow as you concentrate on hitting all the right chords and remembering the lyrics. The song is beautiful but he is certain it’s only because you are the one singing it. Anyone else singing a love song would make him feel nauseated.
Astarion feels centuries of heaviness roll off his body with every note and sweet omission of trust.
He is hypnotized by your lovely fingers plucking the chords and he feels the ghost of your hand in his- you had taken it in your hand while everyone walked through the forest. Your hand had felt perfect in his own and he felt like a young, giddy, new person again. You always make him feel like that though lately.
“And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.”
Astarion had lost all hope- truly lost it all- before the Mindflayers had kidnapped him. He felt more hopeful once he landed on the beach, but that hope was also laced with overwhelming fear.
Lately, he has been more present in his day to day. He is happy and full most days. He wakes up near you or to the sound of your laugh instead of the screams of his siblings or angry commands from Cazador or being yanked out of bed by either Cazador or Godey to be dragged off to the Kennels or Gods only knows where.
Astarion has actually been trancing for four hours straight without interruption these days and he even fell asleep a couple of times- his body finally feeling safe enough to completely shut down for a while. He woke up feeling stronger than ever and your heartbeat echoing through his ribs.
You had been more than happy to let him share your tent at night after he had barged into your tent after a particularly bad trance. It had been shortly after killing Nere in the Underdark and before entering the Crèche. He has basically been sleeping there every night since and he gets to enjoy your company- and all to himself!
You with your wild morning hair and sleep ridden breath- it’s a gift he has never been given before. Astarion is grateful for every morning he has gotten to wake up next to you and you are alive- so vulnerable and warm with sleep.
He adores the way you tiredly blink at him as you become more aware of the world. You have begun to leave a sleepy kiss on his lips in the morning and he finds himself looking forward to it; and the mornings you forget, he steals a lazy morning kiss from you. It’s like Gale and his coffee, he can’t start his day anymore without that first kiss in the mornings.
You continue to sing- your voice strong and full of passion. Happy tears make your eyes glimmer and sparkle under the moonlight and for once, he doesn’t hate being a creature of the night because you make nighttime seem ethereal and lovely; enchanting and whimsical; a luxury to witness. Astarion is positive you could make even the most dingy corners of the world look beautiful from blessing it with your presence alone.
You finish your song and he decides he cannot take being away from you for another moment longer so he backtracks just a bit.
“Darling?” He calls out with a fake worried voice, “are you okay?”
“I’m over here!”
With a big, stupid grin on his face, he half skips half walks over to your spot under the tree.
You are delightfully rosy with blush and your eyes light up upon seeing him- Astarion doesn’t think that will ever get old. You are the first person to ever genuinely be happy to see him and he laps it up like Scratch drinks water after he has a fit of zoomies.
“I am so grateful it’s you singing- I began to feel charmed and feared the worst!”
You roll your eyes at his comment, but smile widely anyway and put your luteto the side, taking his outstretched hand.
“I am so glad you find my singing appealing,” you say breathlessly, “I will have to work harder to truly charm you next time.”
“Oh- you may consider me thoroughly charmed, my Sweet,” he presses a kiss to your forehead and you giggle, “anymore and I might become your Thraul.”
“That wouldn’t be good at all!” You exclaim, “you would agree with me on everything and it would be terrible!”
Astarion throws his head back with laughter- it’s not even all that funny, but the way you embrace his personality and find it enjoyable fills him with so much joy.
You pull him out under the moonlight and he cocks an eyebrow at you- you respond with a cheeky grin.
“Magistrate Ancunín,” you say sweetly with a bow, “I thought I might have seen you across the dance floor this evening.”
Astarion smiles, “Ah! Your highness- how lovely it is to see you, my Dear. I was so hoping you may be here tonight- everyone else is so dreadfully dull, as you already know.”
“Believe me,” you roll your eyes and wave your hand, “none of them find my jokes or my stories entertaining.”
“Perish the thought!” He puts a hand to his chest in faux surprise, “They should all be sentenced to death!”
Your eyes widen for a moment before you snort and join in.
“I so agree,” you snap your fingers, “there- it’s all been magically taken care of. I am the most powerful Highness known to the realms, after all.”
“Oh your majesty,” he pretends to be on the verge of feinting, “no one has ever done something so wonderfully romantic like this for me before- however can I repay you?”
“You could repay me by giving me this dance?”
He hears your heartbeat race slightly and you look a bit nervous. It’s such a bizarre thing for you to feel. Of course he will dance with you. It would be criminal not to.
Taking your hand- he pulls you to him and wraps your arms around his neck. His fingers greedily cling to your hips as you sway together back and forth.
You hum as the two of you have your foreheads pressed together and your eyes closed- the only individuals privy to the moment being the moon and the sleeping animals.
Astarion appreciates how your voice always reflects your feelings- the happiness in your tune is pleasant to his sensitive ears.
Eventually it’s the sound of the river that you both sway to and he barely catches your sentence.
“I am surprised you came looking for me,” you say with a yawn, “I thought you would be asleep by now.”
He shakes his head, “I couldn’t.”
“Bad trance?”
“Something like that,” he quickly tries to change the subject, “why are you still awake?”
“I wasn’t able to sleep and decided I wanted to enjoy the moon and the ability to sing so freely,” you sigh, “Gods only knows when we’ll see it again.”
Astarion hums in agreement- taking your callused hands in his and tracing the line of your hands. This seems to help you relax and it does bring him quite a bit of happiness to be able to help you relax as much as you help him.
“I- I am really scared,” you look up at him with tears in your eyes, “I’m scared to go into the Shadow Cursed Lands. I have heard the stories and the lands are haunted by the cursed dead- people who had lives- who had stories.
“I am scared I could end up joining them,” your lower lip quivers so adorably, but he doesn’t like the words you are saying at all, “if I make one wrong move or we all get separated-“
“Stop,” he says, his voice thick and his chest heavy with an emotion he can’t identify, “I won’t allow that to happen. I can assure you that you will be rather irritated with me by the time we kill Ketheric- I don’t think I will be able to allow you to be out of arm’s reach.”
He says it, but the actual reality of the comment doesn’t hit him until a couple seconds later.
Fuck.
You smile brilliantly at him, “I hope you are ready for the same treatment.”
“I would be offended if you didn’t!”
“Well, we certainly can’t have that!”
You lean forward and leave a kiss on his lips that takes his breath away- he follows you as you pull away, not ready to be without your lips on his. Astarion smiles against your mouth when your breath hitches- he loves that sound.
And he is terrified to lose you.
Astarion fucked up his own plan- well okay, not really, but he did kind of. You have fallen for him, that much is obvious, but he was never supposed to fall for you!
The swaying continues- even as your body becomes heavier and heavier with sleepiness, Astarion feels like he’s dreaming and also simultaneously having a nightmare.
He needs to rid himself of these feelings before they become all consuming- before he goes and does something stupid.
Maybe I give myself some space- sleep in my tent tonight? His chest tightens and he cannot breathe, no, that won’t work. I- I don’t want to do that. I could push them away- get them to break things off with me.
That thought makes him feel even more ill. Being near you brings happiness, comfort, and warmth- even when he is feeling extremely confused and uncomfortable with his feelings towards you.
You see the pieces of him he doesn’t often let others see and instead of despising him, you smile at his jokes. You laugh the loudest out of everyone- even at the jokes that maybe don’t deserve it. You are patient when he is grumpy, unreasonable, and rude.
You have become important to him- more important than he ever intended for you to be.
“Let’s go back to camp,” you say with a large yawn, “I need a little bit of sleep- we have a hell of a journey ahead.”
Astarion helps you pick up your things and he carries your bag for you. You hold his other hand and you both chat as if you have spent years together rather than mere weeks- both of you grinning from ear to ear.
You eventually wind up in each other’s embrace in your tent and you are snoring softly. Always making music as he likes to say.
The nighttime eventually pulls him back into his own trance, but this time, his trance is filled with happy memories of your adventures together with every melody you have ever sung prancing through his head.
#baldurs gate 3#astarion#baldurs gate astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#bg3#astarion romance#bg3 spoilers#astarion x you
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