#weird that I now kinda barely qualify again

[cincodenada]

Reminder that it's Gender Census time again, because I almost forgot! It's still open for at least a week and change, go take it if you're in the target demographic! Contribute to data by us, for us - Cassian is good folks :)

The 2024 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.

[qatarsprint2023]

Birthday morning— OP81

Waking up early isn't Oscar's thing, especially not on his birthday, but he's always, always up for cuddles — Oscar Piastri x f!reader, sleepy Oscar, no use of y/n, implied nsfw content word count: 1.6k a/n: Please ignore that I didn't actually post this on his birthday because I kinda forgot I wrote this in the first place

A soft groan slips past your lips as you slowly wake up, the sun tickling your face. You try to stretch your body but find yourself trapped in Oscar's arms. His embrace is nice and cozy, his bare chest warm against your skin.

Your eyelids flutter a little as you try to get used to the light filtering into the hotel room through the small space by the window you must've forgotten to cover with the curtain last night after you and Oscar got back from the track.

Instinctively your hand reaches for your phone and you squint as the screen lights up, displaying that one picture of you and Oscar his mum took when you were in Australia over Christmas. It was very weird celebrating Christmas in the middle of summer at first. Well, for you at least.

Your eyes flick up to the time. 7:12

With a sigh you let your head fall back onto the soft pillow. Oscar's got you trapped in a hug and you can't even get up to close the curtain in order to darken the room, so going back to sleep is going to be impossible. Great.

You turn in Oscar's embrace so you're facing his chest that rises and falls gently with every soft breath he takes. His hair is a little tousled and his face squished against the pillow. He looks so beautiful with the light from outside gently illuminating his skin in a soft morning light.

Your eyes travel over his features that look so gentle and innocent as he sleeps— he's got a bit of acne like so many people your age, the freckles that adorn his cheeks aren't that visible yet, but as soon as summer comes around and he sees some sun they'll be more noticeable. His skin is smooth, the stubble he was trying out now gone after you convinced him to shave it.

You let your eyes travel down to his arms as you lazily trace your index finger along one, noticing the firm muscles that tense and relax under your touch until you reach his hand. Your hand reaches for his and you absentmindedly start playing with his fingers, admiring how nice his hand looks.

A quiet groan escapes you as your eyes land on the window again. Sleep isn't on the table anymore. Once the sun is up, that option is out the window.

Your finger trails up Oscar's left arm once more, gently grazing his skin with your nail as you do so. He stirs a bit, a quiet grumble making it's way past his lips.

"Happy birthday," you greet him softly as a smile spreads across your face, careful not to startle him. Your boyfriend however only lets out a soft hum of acknowledgement and keeps his eyes closed as he pulls you in closer and buries his face in your neck.

"Come on," you giggle a bit and brush some of Oscar's hair away from his forehead, a soft smile making its way onto his features at the tender touch. "It's your birthday."

"No..." his voice is drowsy, a bit of a lazy whine as his lips curve up slightly into an almost pouty expression.

The sheets rustle a bit as he shifts in bed, trying to get closer to you. His body is so warm, his skin so soft, and you can't help but smile as you wrap your arms around him, stroking his hair with one hand.

"Yes, it is," you chuckle in reply and place a soft kiss against his temple. "And I'm not gonna let you have a boring birthday morning before Qualifying."

"Can it be boring if I'm just with you?" he mumbles, his words muffled and barely understandable with his face pressed against your neck.

Oscar lets out a soft happy sound and his hand squeezes yours, pulling it towards him. "Mh... comfy..." he mutters and moves his head out of the crook of your neck a bit, only one eye open. "What time is it even?"

His words are laced with sleep, his voice raspy, coated thickly in his accent. It always comes out more when he's just woken up.

"Like, 7:15?" you reply and shrug, not bothering to actually check. "Come on, Osc.. Be excited or something."

"I don't wanna..." his words trail off as he mutters something else from under the blanket he's got pulled up over his chin. "It's too early... And you're comfy." In a smooth motion, he runs his hand up your torso to give your waist a gentle squeeze and feel your soft, warm skin against his.

"And you're being boring," you sigh and let your head drop against his. "What if I had something planned, mh?"

A lazy chuckle leaves Oscar's lips as he snuggles in closer to you. "What if I just wanna stay here with you?" he hums a little and lets his body sinks into yours.

"What would you even plan that's better than sleep?" he queries, his voice still a bit raspy and his face scrunched up as the light shines into his face through the window.

"I'm sure I could come up with something," you shrug and nuzzle your face against his hair, pressing a soft kiss there. Oscar's body begins to relax more, melting into your embrace as he holds you close to his chest.

"Does it involve having to leave this bed before I have to head to work?" he asks with a sigh as you start to gently scratch his scalp. "If so, my answer's no. I'd say I'm rather content here."

"Come on, birthday boy," you let out a chuckle and tilt his face towards you, your lips brushing against his. "Cheer up. You're 23!"

"I know... don't remind me," your boyfriend grumbles, but can't help the hint of a smile that tugs at his lips when yours brush against them.

"But it can't get better than this... It's warm here.. and comfortable.. and you smell nice.. what else do I need?" His voice trails off into silence as he relaxes in your arms, sighing contently.

"Aw, so sweet," you chuckle teasingly, nose lightly bumping against Oscar's as you lean forward, causing him to scrunch up his face.

"Mmhh... don't laugh," Oscar grumbles and lets out a soft whine as his lips curl into a pout. He reaches up and his hand finds your cheek, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. "I'm still tired, and you're being mean."

"How am I being mean?" you laugh and prop yourself up on your arm to get a better view of his face.

"You're literally laughing," he huffs but you know he's not being serious. "I just wanna sleep in a bit with you..." His thumb continues to gently rub soft circles on your cheek as he lets the other hand come to rest on your hip, his arm and hand curling around you to pull you against him so you can get a bit more comfortable.

"Alright, alright," you say defensively and scrunch up your face when he leans down and his hair tickles your face. "If that's what you want."

"Exactly. It's my birthday and choose staying in bed," his voice is still a bit raspy, but he's obviously no longer on the verge of falling asleep again. He doesn't seem to want to talk that much, he's content with just holding you in his arms, cuddling.

Oscar nuzzles his face against you again, taking a deep breath. "You smell nice," he tells you again as his hand pulls your hip a bit closer, his eyes closing as he leans his head a little more into you. "Like... lilac."

"I should hope so. I paid some good money for this perfume," you reply with a smile and lean in to give Oscar's lips a gentle kiss. They're soft and the way his hand lands behind your neck almost instinctively makes you feel safe.

Your boyfriend lets out a soft hum of agreement, his lips pressing against yours a little harder, taking the kiss in as he leans his forehead against yours. His grip tightens around you, holding you close as his hand finds your hip and squeezes ever so slightly, his fingers gently tracing the soft dip of your waistline.

You twist in his embrace to grab your phone once more and check the time, which allows Oscar's arms to snake around your waist from behind.

"Almost eight," you mutter with a sigh and rest your head on the soft mattress once more before shifting out from underneath the covers, finally stretching your arms.

"Hey, hey, where're you going?" Oscar inquiries and blinks a little in confusion, his hand reaching out to grab yours as you sit up.

"I gotta shower, baby," you sigh and swing your legs off the bed. "I still have to get ready and we need to go down for breakfast and you have to be at the track by ten."

The smile on Oscar's face falls slightly as you slip away from his embrace, his fingers wrapping around your own as you make your way out of the bed.

"But I just like being in bed with you," he complains somewhat half-jokingly, his other hand reaching out to you as he tries to stop you from escaping.

"Come on, just a bit longer," he whines and lets his head fall back onto the pillow where he lets his body sink into the mattress once more.

"You can come with me if you want," you suggest with a small smile and the most subtle of winks before turning to leave the bedroom in the direction of the bathroom.

At the mention of joining you, Oscar is wide awake, sitting up in bed with an excited smile as he watches you leave the room, his gaze following your figure before he rolls out of bed himself.

You feel a smile tugging at your lips as you take notice of the footsteps behind you and feel his strong arms wrap around your waist, his lips finding their way to your neck, knowing you did manage to make his birthday morning not so boring in the end.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Your ocs have to defuse a bomb. (that was hid in the house) what would they do?

I can give ya a joke version and a serious version! (The serious version is kinda dark so I slapped some cw‘s in red above it)

Anyways, joke version!

For the joke version, there’s Red. Ok,context: videogames. She is, upon other things, based on an oc for the first two games of the etrian odyssey series. Those still had an apothecary with its own NPC’s, and EO2’s was a certain guy named Dr. Derek Styles.

This is important, because I also played another funky lil game of theirs called Trauma Center : Under the Knife, a surgeon simulator.…who Dr. Styles happens to be the main character of.

In one of the missions you’re locked in a hall and have to use your surgeon skills to defuse a bomb.

Cue to Red ringing up her cousin living on the other side of the continent so she can run to the town apothecary and play the most hardcore round of "Keep talking and Nobody Explodes“ ever with their local medic (Or second-most, in Derek‘s case.)

As for the serious version…

Cw for mentions of death, lots of existential fear, despair, and detachment from reality (?). Also potential self-sacrificial tendencies? I’m very bad at guessing what these qualify as so just to be sure.

We good? Ok!

I‘m assuming they‘re locked in with no phone connection for some reason because otherwise they’d all have dipped! Especially Yel! And also that the bomb is strong enough to blow up the whole house and not just a grenade because otherwise they’d just find it and bunker up in the opposite corner! So!

Yeah he‘s not having a good time. First to try leaving and the last to accept it won’t work. Panic and mortifying, primal, fear. Takes a while to "calm down“ and even then he’s sitting as far as possible with tears until it’s defused and he‘s far, far away from the house.

Deniz would straight up not register he’s in danger. Or rather, he rationally knows it, but the fear itself doesn’t kick in really. It’s…detached? (Is that the right word?). So he’s actually pretty chill at the start, doing the most work to find it! Until he does. Find it. Then it’s a weird flip-flop between existential fear and more detachment spiked by a really weird feeling of calm and safety until it registers again that Oh Yeah. That‘s not the case at all, is it? He’s in danger. He might die. He could die. He will die. Yea I think at one point he’d just go and stay with Yel.

As for Mage, we’ve got guy severely lashing out because they can’t deal a second time with losing someone close and not being there there to stop it. Would you believe if I told you that "could Mage tank an explosion?“ is a genuine question I keep thinking about? It’s cuz of magic systems vs op abilities. Anyways. Since he’s basically always running around with at least some of the to-be-sold item stock, they‘d down every single buffing potion in one go, cast a big shield, and hope that if it does explode, he’ll survive the resuming magic recoil for long enough to find out if it at least worked. (Rn it probably would work, but barely.)

Violet has some basic knowledge about bombs because it was part of her education after the castle got a threat once, so she’d put on her serious mask to dispatch those who might be a treat to the situation rn and walk Red through the motions once it’s been found. She’ll either have plenty of time afterwards or be dead by then, so there’s no way she can afford to feel anything right now or deal with the others‘. (Spoiler: She does not properly deal with it afterwards. Girl pls stop acting like you’re fine.)

And even if any of the others wanted to do it, Red wouldn’t let them defuse the bomb in her stead. But it’s fine! Red’s the Hero, this is what she’s here for! To protect others! So she’ll protect her friends. They’ll just need to do what she says and let her do this. Red’s got this. Everything‘s in control, She’s got this in control. Nothing will turn out bad as long ad she’s here, because she’s the Hero, and nothing can happen to her. It won’t let her. Nope, no worries. She’s got it in control. It’s in control. Everything is in control. It’s in control. It’s in control. ITS IN CONTROL. ITS IN CONTROL ITS IN CONTROL SHE‘S IN-

Oh hey, would‘cha look at that. The bomb‘s defused. See? Told ya it‘d be fine as long as everything goes Red‘s way :)

[dzpenumbra]

4/3/23

I'm gonna level here, tonight was rough. I had a few legit panic attacks. Not big ones, but... surreal ones. And I'm still trying to calm myself down.

It's just living in an environment that feels unsafe. Even though my building feels safe, and my apartment feels safe... my neighborhood doesn't. To me, at least. This is clearly a theme, and I'm guessing it's residual from yesterday.

This was set off by watching a stream. I had been avoiding this streamer for a while because he is notoriously antagonistic, like... it's his thing. He was on Jerry fucking Springer. Like... it's his thing. And I knew that. And I watched in the background while doing work, and while eating dinner... for... like over 7 hours. And a lot of it was like... laugh-out-loud funny. I mean that. It was sincerely entertaining.

But there were parts that just set off panic bells. Like... he mentioned a part about like being in a "bad neighborhood" and explaining how that was because the neighborhood was in the flight path of an airport... and... I live in the flightpath of an airport, I woke up to planes flying overhead again today. There were like 2 or 3 moments like that which built up and just... created this really surreal feeling... Like... "it's really not safe out there". And again, it wasn't a feeling of vivid clarity or specificity, it was a feeling of intensity, surreality and gravity.

I guess that's my disorder. I guess that's me getting triggered by key concepts, key words even, and then those concepts/words get associated reflexively with other concepts, then my autonomic alarm system kicks in and goes "I know what that is, that exists in our life, DANGER" and kicks the panic switch. It felt a lot like my weed freakouts do, just a super mild version. It was a big surge of "you're not safe, you're in a bad area and you're alone, you're in danger".

Now... looking back at it? It looks fucking silly. Like... I'm in my electronically locked apartment, in an electronically locked building. The area I live in barely even qualifies as urban, honestly. I'm clearly not in any imminent danger. But... it hits just like I am. It took me a while to get out of it. The intensity of it faded pretty quick, but... it was around like 1 or 2, and it's almost 4:30 now and shades of it are still lingering... Like that feeling of being in a haunted house, feeling like I'm being watched or something. High alert.

When I saw the doctor the other day and mentioned that I deal with depression, anxiety, PTSD and that I'm kinda in a bit of a bout of agoraphobia right now... his first response was starting to tell me about how social interaction was a basic human need, and I was just like... "dude, I know..." Like, I actually got a bit impatient with him. I am fucking aware. To me, at the time, that was like telling me "you know, food is really important for your health..." I have been telling my therapists that for like 4 years now. Weird how I can be in therapy with 3 different therapists and not a single one until this month could figure out a single idea of how I could make friends that was within my comfort zone. With all the fucking technology we have now! Meh, they probably don't have a lot of friends themselves, now that I think about it...

Wow, I got super bitter there for a minute, huh... Ugh.

What the doctor said to me stuck with me because it's absolutely true, and my anger about it is (to me at least) very clearly not directed at him at all. I'm actually super relieved that he is on the same page, like "thank fucking god, finally". I'm pissed that there's like... literally nothing I can do about that. I can't make people hang out with me. I can't make people that I was friends with... not be pieces of shit to me.

And, right now at least, I just don't really feel comfortable meeting people in person. ... I guess? I mean, I met the kids at the skateshop the other day and had zero problems... I went to the skatepark and didn't meet anyone or talk to anyone really... but I had headphones in, so... it's not like I was being super approachable... and they were all like 10+ years younger than me, it's not like it's normal for them to just come up and approach me without a reason, I guess. And vice versa, it just feels weird for some reason. I don't wanna weird them out.

Ugh, anxiety fucking everywhere tonight!

Seriously, its like... the dam cracks and everything starts flowing out. Honestly, what I was thinking with what the doctor said... I really wish I had a friend to just talk shit out with. To just get my anxieties out of my head and hear some unbiased perspective. Because when I'm left alone with my own creative thought, it can just spiral into "what if" for hours. And if I were watching that stream, and just turned to my imaginary girlfriend who, in this magical scenario, actually exists... and went "hey, I'm kinda freaking out a little... this whole stream is about like... crime and being in a bad neighborhood and it's feeling really familiar, and I feel like I made a big mistake moving here, and really it's just a matter of time before something bad like what I'm watching happens to me. Getting scammed, getting robbed, me going to the police and then having people nearby know I went to the police and fucking me up because of it or something." And then we'd talk about it. Talk about like... how likely is that to happen around here? If it did happen, what would we do? Shit like that. Comfort. Reassurance. Not being fucking alone in everything I do.

Anyone who dreams of independence? Who worships and praises it. Independence is fucking easy. Get up, throw your phone in the garbage and start walking in a direction and don't stop, don't turn back. Then you're independent. Congrats. Independent = alone. And yes, it has its "freedoms". Absolutely. Your actions do not affect others. You are free to make as many foolish mistakes as you please and the consequences will fall solely on your lap. And the responsibility for learning from that folly and cleaning up the mess will fall right on your shoulders. And there will be no one to help you through any part of the process. Weird how every person I have met that has thumped the Independence Bible, while shaming me for my "reliance on others" never had the balls to just... walk.

I don't like how upset I'm getting. It feels like an emotional push away from... depression. Like I'm getting upset so that I'm actually doing something about it (even though I'm not), rather than getting sad and depressed. Like... honestly? I feel lame. I feel like a wuss. I didn't talk about fears like this for like 20 years because of it. I feel like most men my age would consider me weak, paranoid, a pussy. And that brings me to a point that I wanted to bring up - being emotionally in-touch.

I did not have this panic problem - hell, even anxiety problems - when I was on meds. However... I was much more emotionally numb. And a lot of people cultivate this effect voluntarily. In fact, it seems like culture (not just male culture, but it's definitely dominant there) actually cultivates this effect. Being "tough" and "hard" are signs of maturity, rights of passage, indicators of strength, fortitude, accomplishment. Being callous is, to many, a badge of honor. And I am a very emotional person. ... At least, I have been told that. It's easy to feel like I'm living life "wrong", and I have often been told and treated that way.

But... my passion? My joy? My raw fascination with the intricacies and beauty of life? My love? My ability to connect with people one-on-one? They all fade when you become callous. I end up living a grayscale life. I know, I've done it. It's why I got off meds. It's why I got out of my old relationship. It's not living. Not for a romantic. Not for someone whose purpose --- this is what I was getting to --- my purpose. As an artist, a musician, a poet. What the fuck am I without emotions? What am I without my passion?

I see the tragedy of my life being that on one side of the coin -> I have myself cowering from overwhelming fear and sadness, from the horrors of what this species does to each other every day, unable to find someone to help me feel safe. And on the other side -> I have myself reveling in the beauty of life, creating visual representations, writing page after page, recording music, capturing as much as I can, unable to find someone to share it with.

And it really sucks. And I really want to do something about it. I just... never imagined I would fail this many times.

I started listing how I've failed in the past few years and deleted it, rare editing moment there, I really just don't want to go down that road. And... those weren't failures. Those were people that fucked me over. And I really don't need to dwell on how former friends and former community members just threw me under the bus, or watched me get struck down unjustly, and just... skipped away like nothing happened. They're not worth my time or energy.

Ugh.

Okay, well... one more thing to unpack before good vibes, I promise.

I got a text today. That NEVER happens. It wasn't from someone trying to scam me about my "Netflix password being leaked" or something this time! It was a guy I went to highschool with. An alcoholic who works at a gas station in my old town. He lived near the house I used to live at, he let me know that he just noticed that "my house" was being demolished. And... I've been moved out since fucking December. Like... my car hasn't been in that driveway since like... November? He lives like... 2 streets up from that house. So... yeah... it was weird. He was just like... "Holy crap _____, they tore your house down", "where you living at now? How are you" I acted polite, replied that I had been moved out for a while, told him the general area of where I am, and tried to emulate what "normal people" do... by politely asking him how he's doing even though I didn't really care. And he did the same thing in return, half-answering something about home improvements and hanging out with dogs... then just said again that he was surprised to see the house gone. And then done. And all done. Yep. So... that's a thing that happened.

Why am I reacting this way to this? The guy got piss drunk, took half my incense and stuck it in the rubber skirt ring on my kayak (when i specifically asked him not to), lit it all, took the kayak out on my pond paddling and playing music really loud with a bluetooth speaker, then paddled over to my neighbors house on the pond in the kayak and yelled at them... for some reason... then came back... and then stole a full pound bag of mexican mix cheese that I had just bought and drunk drove home. And that was... shitty. But even worse? He got high with me on my porch and told me... on my own porch... smoking my own weed... that my parents were right and I should quit art and streaming and shit and get a "real job". And honestly? I'd rather he fucking mug me. I'd rather he steal my phone and sell it for crack.

I mean that. And I really need to remember that. Getting my phone stolen and sold for drugs tomorrow would be scary in the moment, but the shit he told me on my porch that evening? That was in summer 2019, I remember it vividly, like it was yesterday. That will stick with me for a long time. That is scary shit. And I can handle that. So... why the fuck am I afraid of getting mugged? XD

Ugh, it makes no goddamn sense!

Anyway, enough negative shit, let's get to the good shit. If you made it this far... this may be a bit disappointing because you can't like... see the final product to get the full effect... however...

I think I'm pretty much done with the desire path project, at least this branch of it. The animation, at least, I mean. I think the animation of the paths being drawn and the pattern forming is pretty much done. All 100 paths. I did about 30 last night, I went in and did the other 70 today, and then added in some random noise animation to the opacity and line thickness to add a kinda... flickering/pulsing effect to each line. Every line has a different light flicker, every group of 10 has a thickness noise pulse. That was me working all. day. long. About 12 hours total today, with ab 2 hours of dinner break.

Now, all I need to do is kinda... storyboard it. I need to figure out what I'm going to say about it. Then I have the first person footage of the runs, then I have the footage of the map and the final product showing the pattern forming. And I'll do some voiceover on top of it. That's the plan. We'll see how it goes, I'll get cracking on that tomorrow.

So yeah. Big ups and big downs today. But I was saving the big one for the end because it hasn't even really set in for me fully yet. It's done. And now I just have to come up with presentation. I'm going to take a moment and just play it back for myself just so I can let that concept sink in a bit, because it's not really... hitting. --- It looks really cool. :D The whole thing like... shimmers. The paths remind me of an ultrasound or something, the way they flicker and pulse, like veins. It definitely feels much more alive. I like it.

I'm going to go get ready for bed. It's 5:15 again. Ugh. It just keeps happening! -_- Oh well, it's probably less healthy for me to be beating myself up than for me to go to bed at dawn again.

[snowmuttgetsweird]

Zero-to-Sixty

CW Kink, Sex Mention, Money problems

We're going zero-to-sixty here. You might learn things about me you don't wanna know. I might talk about stuff I don't even necessarily feel comfortable talking about, but I gotta process somehow, right? So let's get weird.

I want a pump toy so bad.

If you used to follow my old Tumblr BEFORE Twitter you already know some of my kinks/interests. I'm into ball stretching, but since I lived with my mom and step dad at the time, it wasn't really feasible to pursue those interests. Same for pumping- I really, really wanna get a cylinder or two (I'd love a LongJohnny to pump my nuts and a cylinder dedicated to my dick), but the living situation wasn't really accommodating- you know, discretion with shipping, space, privacy without interruption, etc.

Now that I AM in a living situation where I can indulge those interests, I don't have the money to afford the gear! I'm pinching pennies just to make rent, and my roommate basically pays all our utilities and food solo while I feel like a destitute, mooching loser. I'm by FAR the lowest earner among my IRL friend group- it's REALLY embarrassing, and I basically can't hang out with them at all outside of the house because anything they wanna do takes money I don't have, so I don't even really socialize with the friends I already have. Like, I'd love to go out to eat, I'd love to go to the mall, I'd love to go to a cool ritzy island for the weekend, I'd love to go to a convention, but what the fuck am I gonna do when I get there without any money to spend?

What's worse is the initial move to Washington was meant to be kinda bare bones because I was moving into my roommate's apartment for a little while, and THEN we were going to move to our new apartment together so I could help him move his stuff, and it didn't make sense for me to bring a lot to move, so I was gonna go BACK to my mom's place in like, January 2022 to pack up the rest of my stuff in a POD and have it shipped back to the new place, but it just kinda never happened cause I wanted to try to stabilize my earnings from art before I made a big purchase like that, so here I am in February 2023, and my ball weights and all the rest of my stuff is still in Arizona! At least then I had savings. Now because I didn't make any money for, like, the first year of doing art, my savings are COMPLETELY depleted, and I'm so broke that I can't afford to go back for the rest of my stuff, or even pay for my mom to ship it out for me. She would do it herself if I asked, bless her heart, but I'm not gonna saddle her with that bill. Unfortunately that also means that there's a room of her home that's dedicated to just storing all my stuff that she can't really use for anything else, so I'm a burden no matter what I do. Like, I'm not even THERE anymore and I'm still a burden- to her in AZ and to my roommate and friends in WA. I'm just plain not making enough money, and that doesn't change no matter what I do.

It's frustrating. I'm still happy that I get to do art for a living, and I'm REALLY happy I'm not doing customer service anymore, but I dunno. My mom's got an unused room just full of my junk, my roommate has to worry about whether or not I can make rent or eat that month, and I'm desperately trying to balance my needs with my wants. Like, I'm basically in survival mode, but still trying to do what I can for my mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of my health or mental health or interests or decompressing or any of that. Maybe I should be doing a day job AND art? I mean, it's not like every second I work is paid- I only have so many commissions at a time, so maybe there's just a lot of unpaid deadtime in my day that should be filled in with a job, and then I just come home and get straight back to work on art. But when I think about going into customer service again (I don't know what else I would be qualified for tbh) and dealing with applications and interviews and shit, I freak out and shut down.

I dunno, life sucks. I just wanna stretch my balls, man.

[autumnalwalker]

Another week, another Empty Names character interview. As long as this is semi-technically a tag game, consider this an open tag to anyone reading.

For the fourth week, we return to the first character to show up the story. Lacuna.

Relationship Status: Single. I just figure that I've got to get to a point where I'm happy with myself before I can ask anyone else to be happy with me, you know? It'd just be selfish otherwise. I'm getting there though.

Favourite Colour: Black's kind of a safe, comfort zone color for me. And it goes well with everything, especially when you've got just one vibrant color to pair with with it as an accent. ... Although... if I'm being honest, as much as I'm terrified of sounding like or reinforcing a bad stereotype, if I were braver I'd probably have more pink in my life. At least to try it out for a while and figure out if I really like it or if I'm just looking at it with longing as something I couldn't have before.

Favourite Food: Poutine. I know it's kind of gross, but I've got a bunch of nostalgia wrapped up with it. I had it this one time as a little kid on a family vacation with my parents and my aunt, loved it, and then went back home far enough south that I didn't encounter it again for years. So for the longest time it always felt like a big deal whenever I happened to come across it again. And yeah, I'm an adult now and could just make it anytime I want it, but it wouldn't be the same, you know?

Song stuck in their head: This is gonna sound weird, but, I swear I heard Bridgewood humming the Hamtaro theme song the other day. The old anime with the talking hamsters? I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since, but I'm kinda afraid he'll stab me or something if I ask him about it.

Last thing they searched on a BBS: That's like a predecessor to modern online forums, right? I haven't used one myself, but lately I've been going through some message boards nearly as antiquated to search for possible supernatural incidents we might be able to help with. Anything I find that looks likely I run by Road and Bridgewood so the two of them can make the call on if it's legit and actually needs our intervention.

Time: Time... for me to get a watch. Looks like that last test glyph fried my phone. Again.

Last Thing They Read: A simulation readout telling me that glyph only had a one percent chance of frying my phone.

Last Book They Enjoyed Reading: Nona The Ninth. Sure, that's not really how necromancy works for any of the major magic systems in this local cluster, but it's still a good story. A good series. And the characters are great even when they're kind of terrible or dumb, but it's a good, funny kind of dumb. Okay, that probably doesn't sound like much of an endorsement and I should probably say what it's actually about. It's just I... Sorry, no one needs to hear me ramble on about stuff. It's bad enough that I put Eris through that and she actually seems to tolerate it. Sorry that went on so long without saying anything of substance. Next question.

Favourite thing to cook/bake: Pizza from a box mix. It barely qualifies as baking, but it's easy enough for me to do without messing it up while also being involved enough that it forces me to take a break from whatever thing I've currently gotten myself into and think about something else for a while. And with a significant enough cook time it means I actually have to plan to set aside time to eat and not forget about it.

Favourite thing to do in their free time: Eh, I don't know. Reading, games, the occasional show. Basic nerd stuff, you know? I'm not that interesting or unique. Not that I have much time for any of it these days anyway, between work and bouts of obsessively researching for my... uh... side project. Oh, what kind of research? Just looking into how transmutation and transformation gets handled by various magic systems in this world cluster. Specifically for long term effects. Not for anything nefarious or mad sciency! Just a... personal interest.

Most niche dislike: I considered just sort of vaguely gesturing at myself, but that's not really niche these days, is it? Not really a good joke either. So, yeah, real answer time. Poor documentation, especially when the documentation or instructions are just flat out wrong. I don't think that one needs any elaboration.

Opinion on circuses: I think I prefer the more modern shows that are mostly acrobatics and theatrics over the traditional animal acts and carnie stuff. The classic aesthetic can be visually fun sometimes though, I guess.

Do they have any sense of direction: An embarrassingly bad one. It's one of several reasons I don't get out much. Not one of the biggest ones, but it's definitely a contributing factor. Especially since GPS doesn't really work in pocket dimensions.

GET TO KNOW A CHARACTER FROM MY WIP (A Tag Game)

Thank you for the tag, @cljordan-imperium.

I'll pass on the tag to: @fearofahumanplanet, @ryns-ramblings, and @tc-doherty. And the usual open tag.

The first character that came to mind for this was The Archivist, but our eponymous narrator is having a bad time right now, so I'll be grabbing someone from Empty Names instead. Ashan, you don't talk much; get over here.

Relationship Status: Single. I have never understood the driving need to pair up that most seem to experience.

Favourite Colour: White. Pearl white, if you wish for a more specific shade.

Favourite Food: While I try to keep my diet strictly healthy, I will admit to the occasional nostalgic indulgence with churros.

Song stuck in their head: Something Lacuna had playing the other day. She said she was not sure of the song's title, but it clearly said "Lisa Frank 420 / Modern Computing" on the screen. Odd. Both that she did not know the title and the sound of the music itself.

Last thing they searched on a BBS: What is a BBS?

Time: I suppose I ought to acquire a watch now that I am back on this world. Such preoccupation with precise measurements of a fluid concept here.

Last Thing They Read: A tome out of Bridgewood's private library whose name I fear I lack the mouthparts to pronounce, even with a translation charm on my person.

Last Book They Enjoyed Reading: "Melisandre's Musings on Multiversal Magic Mechanics." An interesting and useful text if one does not mind sifting through meandering personal anecdotes to decipher the author's theories on spellcraft.

Favourite thing to cook/bake: The aforementioned churros. They do not have that dish on Orthon, and teaching my teacher how to make them the way I had seen my real mother do on a number of occasions was an adventure in and of itself.

Favourite thing to do in their free time: Meditation in less-touched natural areas. The density of urbanization on this world still gets to me at times now that I am back.

Most niche dislike: Slugs. Silly I know, but somehow early in my training they just kept showing up in unexpected places at unexpected times with unexpected size. I do not care for their presence.

Opinion on circuses: I went to one once as a child and found it wonderful, but now that I know more about them they mostly make me sad.

Do they have any sense of direction: Alas, it is not as acute a sense as it had been on Orthon. The lack of ambient background magic here outside of isolated pockets is disorienting. Funny to think I did not even possess that sense as a child when now I feel its lack like the loss of an eye. Or perhaps the loss of my nose might be more accurate.

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Girls like you

THE POOL

JJ Maybank wasn't really sure why the Y/L/N family had hired him to clean out their pool when summer started. They seemed to like him around the hotel when they went for meals but he wasn't exactly qualified, he wasn't complaining though, they tip well and it couldn't be that hard.

His only problem was Y/N.

They never got on well. She was friends with Kie in her kook year, who even went as far as to dub her 'the only kook who doesn't make me want to gauge my eyes out', so she knew the pogues from around although they'd grown apart the girls shared no bad blood and always stopped to catch up when they saw each other around.

He was in the middle of raking the leaves from the large pool when he saw her. She was crossing the garden from the large mansion, clad in a bikini with sunglasses perched on the end of her nose. JJ hates how good she looks, her curves perfectly on display and a confident aura around her.

She's got headphones in, he notices as she saunters closer.

"Hi princess," He smirks, watching as she rolls her eyes

"I'm not your princess. How long are you gonna be?" She questions, settling onto one of the sun loungers next to the pool

"An hour or so," JJ states

"Well, could you do it quietly I'm hungover and I wanna just relax," She states, slipping the second headphone back into her ear before he can reply.

He cleans, unaware of her watching him from behind the glasses as she sips on her bottle of cold water. She would never tell anyone but watching him work, his muscles tensing and untensing under his vest shirt, a light sweat from the hot summer day on his skin, she couldn't help herself from thinking he looked good.

He would definitely admit to John B that he thought she looked fit. Her breasts spilling out of her bikini top a little and the barely there thong bottom's high cut making her legs look excruciatingly long. He'd probably make some crude jokes about hate sex being way more fun. He wouldn't admit though, to finding something very comforting about her presence, and finding the way she hummed along to whatever she was listening too adorable.

It's a further 40 minutes, JJ is trying to work out how to get the pool vaccuum to turn on, when her phone rings loudly.

"Hey Sare," Her voice speaks. JJ figures quickly it's Sarah Cameron, the pair are practically inseparable and the whole island knows it.

He half listens to her side of the conversation, more out of boredom than interest.

"No, babes, I love you and all but I really don't wanna. The last million times I've seen Rafe he's been so weird and creepy and I don't wanna be alone with him,"

JJ doesn't know why the comment angers him so much. Why does he even care if Rafe is clearly trying to pull her? It's none of his business. Yet, he can feel his blood boiling at the thought.

"No Sar, if I go and you have to stay with me then you can't go and be with Topper,"

She's silent for a few minutes before sighing "Fine. Fine, I'll come. See you in a minute. Bring me some shorts, I'm in the garden and can't be arsed to go upstairs and find some. You owe me forever,"

JJ wants to scream. Wants to tell her she shouldn't go if she feels uncomfortable around Kelce. He wishes Kie were here, maybe she could talk her into staying where she felt safe.  Maybe she would be able to explain why JJ even gives a shit.

"Maybank," She states, he looks up, trying to act like he hasn't been listening. "I'm going out. You'll be the only one here," She informs

"Okay," He nods.

"My keys are on the kitchen counter, lock up when you're done and I'll just grab them from you at the hotel,"

"All right," He agrees

"When will you be there?" She questions, looking at him like he's an idiot. He groans internally, obviously she needed to know that.

"Tomorrow, 2 until closing,"

'"I'll swing by around 4," She informs. He nods, trying not to stare at her as she lets her hair down from the ponytail it had been in, shaking it out. A car honks outside and she turns, walking up the garden towards the side gates, turning a few metres away,

"Oh, there's an envelope on the kitchen counter with your tip in," She adds

"Thanks. Goodbye princess," He smiles,

"Still not your princess," she shouts back, turning and disappearing round the corner.

THE CAR

JJ felt a lot more in his element when her dad had called him asking if he could fix her car. He hadn't specified it was his eldest daughters, and JJ knew the family owned 7 cards despite only 3 of them even being able to drive.

JJ recognised it though, a white convertible porsche, he'd seen her driving it around before. Wether she was blasting music with the roof down singing with Sarah, picking up a take out from the wreck, driving around in the middle of the night, she'd even given Kie a lift to the Chateau before. He realised that he always seemed to notice her presence.

He was working in the family's garage, the bonnet popped open and grease all over him. It was an easy fix, if a little fiddly.

He jumped out of his skin when the door burst open.  He is immediately taken aback by how good she looks. Clad in a tight black skirt that is ridiculously short, heels and a tight black V neck top with a lace trim around the neck. Her hair falls in bouncy curls around her shoulders and her makeup looks perfect. He would have sworn on everything he'd never seen anyone look so beautiful.

"You're a boy," The girl states.

"Good job noticing that one princess," JJ smirks, she rolls her eyes.

"I have a date and Sarah is being so unhelpful, can you help me pick a top?" She questions, he gulps, nodding.

"Okay, so this is option 1,"

"It looks good,"

"Right. But is it sexy? Do you look at me and think I wanna slam her against a wall and rail her?"

His eyes widen a little, that's one way of putting it he decides.

"Look, I'm your families help, I shouldn't be answering that,"

"Like I care Maybank," She groans, exasperated.

"Okay fine, I look at you in that and I think I wanna rip your clothes off,"

"Okay good. Option 2," She starts. JJ is shocked when she pulls her top off in front of him, without even turning around. He turns around, although not without taking a mental picture of her boobs being pushed up in a red lace bra. "Who knew you were a prude?"

"Just respecting you princess," He comments

"You've seen me in a bikini, what's the difference?" She questions, he stays silent having no quick comment to respond with. "I'm dressed," She states

He turns back around, she looks good, a forest green top made of satin.

"The first one is sexy, that one is cute,"

"Thanks JJ, oh, and hey, thanks for fixing my car,"

"Uh. Yeah, anytime,"

THE SUMMER HOUSE

JJ was happy to paint the summer house. He claimed to his friends it was just because they way over paid and tipped big. In reality it was because for three days straight he would get to catch glimpses of her. And he did.

He saw her when she swam in her pool.

He saw her when she played in the garden with her little sister.

He saw her when she cloud gazed with Sarah Cameron.

The best times he got to see her though, were when she would bring him stuff. Every so often she'd knock on the open door to the summer house, sometimes with water, sometimes with snacks, a few times even with a beer. A couple of times she stopped and made small talk, one time she even smeared paint on his cheek and giggled as he chased her through the garden.

He enters the kitchen, used to how the family worked now. An envelope of money waiting on the kitchen counter, they always seemed to be coming and going so it was easier.

He was shocked to see her in the kitchen, she's scrolling on her phone sipping on what looks to be an iced coffee

"Oh, hey JJ," She smiles

"Hey, I'm done," he informs, she nods, watching as he picks up the envelope "So, I'll be seeing you around,"

"Did you want a lift?" She questions, he looks at her slightly confused "I just noticed your bike wasn't here and it's kinda late to be walking back. It's a long walk,"

"You really don't have to princess,"

"Honestly, it's fine," she assures, jumping up and grabbing her keys before heading towards the garage.

She wasn't sure when she stopped hating JJ Maybank, wasn't sure when she started noticing little things like the blue in his eyes and which snapback he was wearing and how tired he looked. She wasn't sure when the sight of his bike in the driveway started giving her butterflies.

"So where is your bike?" She questions, the roof of the car is down and the wind blowing through her hair as she pulls out of the private estate her home is on.

"Didn't have enough fuel to get to yours and back," He shrugs

"Why didn't you just-" She cuts herself off "Shit, I'm so sorry. That was insanely rude, I wasn't even thinking and-" He chuckles, watching as she splutters and blushes

"It's okay. Life is different on the cut I can understand how a kook princess wouldn't get it," He shrugs, she nods, still not sure what to say.

"Y'know my life isn't perfect," She comments, he scoffs, unable to help himself. "I'm not kidding. It's privileged as fuck, I know that, but it's not perfect,"

"Go on then princess, what's so shit?" He doesn't mean for it to sound so harsh, he's genuinely curious

"My parents, they have basically planned my entire life, down to where I'll go to college, what sorority I'll be in, where I'll work my summer internship, who I'll marry, where I'll get married, which big kook house I'll live in,  at what age I'll have to give up my career, which has been decided for me by them, to start trying for babies. It's 24 by the way so in 8 years. My whole life is decided and I don't want it. I wanna go on a trip around the world and surf and travel and explore. I wanna fall in love and get my heartbroken again and again until I find the right guy. I wanna live in a New York apartment and I wanna see the world. I don't wanna marry Rafe Cameron just cause our mothers are friends. I mean he's literally scary and harasses me and acts like even though I'm 16 I shouldn't have a choice cause one day he'll father my kids. And no one gets it, none of my friends, not even my best friend. The only person who ever understood why it was so shit was Kie and then she left, she left and lives her life and it's fun and exciting and anything could happen. I don't hate her for it but it fucking sucks that she left me miserable. I'll be miserable living my planned out life and then I'll die. Yeah, I have money and that's fucking great, but my life is far from perfect,"

JJ sits in a stunned silence. He's not really sure what to say. Their problems were very different but hers were just as shitty. He feels like he's seeing her in a whole new light.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't tell people that and we barely no each other," She mutters, not wanting to look at him

"Where would you go first?" His question surprised her

"On my fictitious surf trip?" She questions, he nods "Europe, Spain I think,"

They sit in silence the rest of the way, it's not awkward though, both of them feel comforted by each other presence. He gives her instructions to the chateau.

"We are probably gonna drink some beers and smoke. You wanna stay? You could crash here and drive home in the morning," JJ offers

"I can't. My family are having dinner at the hotel. Thanks though," She smiles gently

"Yeah. Uh, I hope it's not too shit. Thanks for the ride princess,"

He climbs out of the car, his friends who sit on the porch immediately calling out to him, they're all laughing and teasing him about his lift home and when he looks back he almost thinks he sees a look of longing in her eyes before she's reversing out of the chateau.

THE BOAT

"Can you fix it?" She questions. JJ Maybank has never seen her look nervous before.

It was only 6:30 AM when she'd started banging on the door to the Chateau, tears in her eyes and panic on her face hoping JJ would be here. John B had pulled the door open, half asleep and groaning a little at the bright sunlight. He'd let her into the small home and disappeared to wake JJ up. John B opted not to put too much thought into the way the minute her name was said JJ leaped out of bed and shoved into the living area, the way his hands cupped her cheeks to see if she was okay, the way he was calling her princess as he tried to calm down her hiccuping tears.

"I can fix it," He confirms. They're standing on the deck of her families boat "It's an easy fix princess, okay? don't even worry," He speaks in a comforting tone

"Thank you JJ,"

"No worries. It'll take me a while, you got anywhere to be?"

"No. Well yes, a breakfast thing with the Cameron's but it's at my house and I can't exactly show up without the boat so,"

"So you're hiding out here all day?" JJ questions

"Well, I don't wanna intrude. I can go and hang out at the beach,"

"Don't talk nonsense, you can hang here. C'mon, I need to be down the bottom with the engine, you can sit and entertain me,"

She watches intently as he works, now that he's not working at her house he hasn't bothered with a shirt, instead just wearing shorts and his infamous red baseball cap. He glances at her occasionally, her makeup streaky from crying and wearing a short white dress.

"So, wanna tell me what happened?" He questions

"Not really," She admits, he nods and she sighs before beginning to explain"Rafe wanted to go boating late and then it all went wrong and then we got the boat to the nearest dock, hence why we are in the middle of nowhere, and he said he was going to call someone to get a lift and it was rainy so I was waiting in here.  It had been a while so I went outside to check on him and he was gone. I didn't know what to do. Dad would kill me for breaking the boat, do I just kinda figured I'd walk to yours and hopefully you would no how to fix it. Then I realised I have no clue where you live so I walked to John B's and hoped for the best,"

"He just left you in the middle of nowhere alone?" JJ doesn't know why he's so mad, they were hardly even friends

"Yeah. He texted me to let me know it was cause he's already in shit with his dad and didn't wanna go down for breaking my family's boat," She shrugs, JJ wants to go and find Rafe Cameron and beat his skull in.

"Look, a girl like you deserves someone who would treat them a million times better than that,"

"I always thought you hated me," She admits

"So did I, until this summer I kinda did," He shrugs

"What changed?" She asks, the question is so vulnerable he can't help himself from looking at her

"You aren't what I thought you'd be," He admits, she nods slowly

"How should a girl like me be treated?" She questions

"Like they're the only thing on earth," He's not really sure why he's so openly telling her how he feels but it feels too late now

"Is that how you'd treat me Maybank?"

"Girls like you don't date boys like me," He shrugs, turning quickly back to what he's doing, not wanting her to recognise the disappointment on his face.

THE PARTY

It was no secret her family hosted a big formal party on the 10th of July every year, her parents wedding anniversary. JJ had waited the party the last 2 years and this summer was no different, he'd even managed to get John B and Pope a job too.

His heart had stopped when he saw her, her dress was the exact shade of blue as the sky and flowed beautifully down to her feet, her hair curled with the front pinned back, her makeup beautiful. She looked like an angel approaching him and god why did she have to look so perfect.

"Hey JJ," She smiles, grabbing a glass of champagne from the tray he's holding "Could you do me a favour?"

"Of course," He agrees, expecting some job that needed doing for the party

"If you see Rafe and I'm on my own..." She trails off "I'm trying to avoid him, after the other day,"

It's three hours into the party when JJ grabs her hand, pulling her along behind him and away from Rafe who is clearly trying to catch her alone. He pulls her into a small cupboard slamming the door closed behind him and locking it.

"What was that about?"

"Rafe," He shrugs, he didn't outwardly say he'd been watching her all night to make sure he could look out for her. He also didn't say he would have been watching her all night even if she hadn't asked him too.

"JJ, you know how your coming over next week to fix that one  door that you can't open from inside the cupboard?" She question

"Yeah," He states, peering out of the key hole to see if Rafe is still looking for her

"Well, this is the cupboard,"

"Shit!" He shouts, pulling away from the door to face her. "Shit, it's your parents wedding anniversary and I got you locked in the cupboard,"

"It's alright," She shrugs "They hate each other most the time anyway,"

"Call someone to let you out,"

"Where on this dress did you think there was pockets, you call someone,"

"My phone is in the twinkie,"

"The what?"

"John B's car," JJ sighs. "Fuck princess, I'm so sorry," He groans

"It's fine. Sarah will come looking for me eventually," She shrugs. He nods, watching as she sits down on the ground, patting the space next to her.

He obliges, sitting next to her, knees touching in the tight space.

"You look nice tonight, I like the shirt and tie," She compliments, he can feel himself blush and is glad the cupboard is dark enough she probably can't see it.

"Y'know what you said on the boat the other day?" She questions, he immediately knows what she's referring too "About how girls like me don't date boys like you,"

"Yeah," He confirms

"Why is that?" She questions quietly

"I couldn't make you happy princess. Your parents would hate me. I couldn't take you on the fancy dates you're used to. You wouldn't be happy,"

"My parents love you, they think you're resourceful and hard working. I hate the stuffy dates figure 8 boys take me on," She informs, he laughs a little at that. "Besides, you already make me happy. I'm just saying Maybank, if you don't wanna date me just say it, don't try and put it on me,"

JJ isn't really sure how to react. How to explain he desperately wanted to date her, wanted her to be his girl and wanted to shower her in love and adoration. He isn't sure how to tell her that by inadvertently telling him she wanted to date him she had made him the happiest man on earth. He's not really great with words and it all feels too hard to say.

So, instead, he turns slightly, taking her face in his hands and pulling her to him, his lips crashing against hers and somehow she knows everything he wanted to say.

[krillin-fanfic]

Chestnut Fest 2022 Week 1: For A Friend

Hello again, friends! It's that magical time of year again, and much like Shenron, I have been summoned from my slumber to grant your wishes for new story content once again.

The theme for this story? Comfort Food. Wasn't sure how I could translate that into a written work, but I think I found a way. This entry is set before Krillin and 18 are a couple, while their friendship is still budding. It's more platonic than shippy, but I think it's important to explore the planting of the seeds too! So without further ado, here we go! LINKS: FF.net AO3

It was another lovely day at Kame House. The seas were especially calm today, only light fluffy clouds on the horizon. A gentle breeze blew through, providing just enough respite from the heat of the now-setting sun.

Two figures sat at a table on the strip of beach separating the pink house from the water's edge. A woman, blonde, impossibly attractive, baggy shirt and a pair of shorts, looked at her short, bald companion with some amusement as their conversation had taken a rather unexpected turn.

"Comfort... food? I don't get it."

Krillin's cocked his head slightly. "Huh? What's not to get?"

18 tilted her head. "How is food comfortable? You eat it, you don't use it like furniture or clothing."

He chuckled. "No, not comfortable, comforting. It means foods that give off a sort of comforting or nostalgic vibe." He held up his index finger. "Now some people like to try to put it in a box and say "comfort foods" can only be certain kinds of food, usually fatty or decadent things," he smiled and closed his eyes. "But I happen to be in the camp that thinks that any food that really takes you back to a happy place in life qualifies."

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Sounds weird to me."

"Eh, it's just all tied to memories, I suppose." He looked up at the blue sky. "I still remember the day I found mine. It was after the 21st Budokai. Me and Goku had both lost to this weird Jackie Chun guy that somehow knew all our moves, but Master Roshi still bought us a big ol' meal afterwards for doing so well. A whole buffet right at our table!"

18's brows raised a bit. "...You mean Goku had that much himself, right?"

Krillin scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well... I wish I could say that but, uh... I kinda ate almost as much as he did, being honest." He giggled. "We'd been fighting all day, I got stupid hungry, and the food was so good!" She saw his eyes light up as he remembered. "There was roast pork, lo mein, baozi, duck... I'd never eaten that well in my entire life. They never really gave us more than unseasoned rice and vegetables at Orin, and I didn't have any money when I was on my own, so getting to experience that..." he smiled. "And now, that's sorta become my own comfort food, I guess."

18 fiddled with a loose strand of hair. "Ah. Sounds... nice."

Krillin tapped lightly on the tabletop next to his baseball cap. "So you're saying you don't have any food-related memo-" her eyes shot in his direction and he stopped himself. "Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry..."

"I guess..." she spoke, her voice barely audible over the waves lapping at the beach. "I guess maybe I have... one."

Krillin sat forward in his seat, hands folded on the table in front of him. It was rare to see 18 this quiet. Almost... vulnerable. The least he could do is give her his full attention.

"Yeah? Do you mind sharing, or...?"

"It was when I was with 17 and 16. When we were..." she paused to consider her choice of words. "...traveling together. You know..."

Krillin nodded. That topic was still a bit of an elephant in the room for them, neither entirely sure how to address it yet. "Yeah, I get you."

She twirled the strand of hair a bit harder. "We took a truck then. 17's boneheaded idea. 'Make it fun', he said, 'go on a road trip, see the sights'..." she smiled. "He was always chasing being human again, even as he insisted we were above them now. After 16 cleared it out, we took off on the road and after a while, the raido? Monotonous." She glared. "I swear, if I ever wind up in a place that plays nothing but that annoying guitar twanging all day, I'm ending it right there and then."

He chuckled. "I can relate. Being stuck with only one sort of music can be grating."

"Yeah... anyways... we thought everything had been cleared out, right? All the food? But it turned out 16 found a few loose items that had gotten out and rolled around back there behind the seats. Fruits. Not many, but a couple. Two of them were common enough. An orange and a banana. 17 snatched those up himself. But there was another that 16 gave me." Her brow wrinkled a bit. "It must have been fiarly uncommon, given we had no information about it. It was colorful. Like a deep pink on the outside, with these... leaves almost, coming off the skin. The fruit inside was white, with seeds. I remember it having a very light sort of taste, almost barely there." She smiled. "I remember 17 sitting there with a big wedge of that orange in his mouth, pulling faces at me... 16 smiling in the back..." 18 thinned her lips for a moment. When she next spoke, Krillin could hear the shakiness in her voice. "It... it was the last time it felt like things were almost 'normal' for me. Like we were almost... family." She let go of her hair and covered her face with her palm. "God, that sounds so dumb..."

Krillin shook his head and waved his hands nervously in front of himself. "No, not at all! Believe me. I may not, y'know... 'get it', but I do get it." He sighed. "I'm such a wordsmith. I just mean that... I may not get that exact scenario. I know I haven't been through what you guys have, and I'm not trying to suggest that... but I do know that feeling. It's actually... a lot like the one I felt at that table that day at the Budokai."

18 turned toward him again. "Really now?"

"Yeah. It was like... Like I had friends now. Like a sort of a family. I had people who cared, who were happy for me, proud of me for a change." He put a hand up. "Again, not saying it's the same as your sitch at all. But the feeling is the same. That stays with you."

18 pursed her lips and gazed up at the sky for a bit before letting her head fall back with a groan. "Well, it's not like I'll be experiencing that 'nostalgia' thing any time soon anyways. Even if I bought into the idea." She stood up and pointed at him. "Which, to be clear, I still don't." She brushed stray sand off her legs quickly and started back inside the small house. " Don't even know what that stuff was called anyways..."

Krillin sat at the table, hands folded on its top, deep in thought. When she'd first come here, seeking shelter and answers, he'd promised her he'd help her adjust to human life. Said that he'd help her get back what that sick old man had stolen from her. This? This was part of that. He nodded to himself. 'Right. Let's get it done.'

He stood, put on his cap, took a deep breath, and without a word floated off into the air, headed due north.     ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say Krillin was exhausted was an understatement. He landed a bit hard, panting, next to one of the only 24-hour groceries he could find. For the last six hours, he'd flown around, desperately trying to find a fruit that had matched 18's description, starting up north where that truck had been... acquired. Every stop had been the same answer. "Never heard of a fruit like that." "You sure your friend didn't dream it up?" "That sounds wild, man. Let me know if you find it."

He'd gotten halfway to Satan City before a farmer in one of the shops proved helpful. "Oh, I've heard of that stuff, friend! You're in the wrong place. It grows in more tropical areas down south!"

The tropics. Where he'd started. The irony wasn't lost on Krillin as he caught his breath near the shop entrance. 'I just hope this one actually has what I'm looking for,' he thought to himself. 'I've been all over the region and so far no luck.'

He pushed the door open and was greeted by a portly older man in overalls. "Welcome! How can I help you tonight?"

Krillin gestured back toward the fairly large produce section. "Can you tell me if you carry a certain fruit? It's about the size of my fist, has a deep pink color, what looks like leaves growing out of the skin?"

The shopkeeper blinked a few times before smiling. "Ah, yes! I know the fruit you mean. I believe we sold the last of that on the shelves earlier today." He saw Krillin's face drop and he frowned. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I can check our stock in the back if you like. It's very popular in the area but we may still have some."

He looked up, hopeful. "Please! It would mean a lot!"

"Very well, hold on." The man strolled from behind the register toward the doors in the back. "Shouldn't take more than a moment!"

It wasn't long before he returned with a small crate and a large smile. "Good news, sir! I believe we do indeed still have five in stock here!"

Krillin beamed. "Oh, thank you so much! How much are they?"

The shopkeeper plopped the crate onto the counter and tapped away at the register. "Hmmm... says here we're looking at 600 Zeni apiece."

Krillin blanched. "D-did you say 600?"

"Yes sir." He smiled. "Each. Dragon fruit don't grow too often and given the popularity..."

"Yeah, yeah. I get-wait..." Krillin raised an eyebrow. "They're called dragon fruit? Seriously?"

"Yessir!" The shopkeeper looked confused. "Is that surprising to you?"

"No... no at this point I almost expect everything in my life to be connected to dragons somehow." He fished the cash out of his wallet. "So... 3000 Zeni, huh?"     ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"18! Can you... come down here for... a sec... hooo boy..."

A groggy 18 made her way down the dark stairs at Kame House and found a rather disheveled (and tired Krillin sprawled on the couch, barely visible in the light of the desk lamp. "Hey there... so... don't wanna get your hopes up but-"

"What happened to you?"

"I'm... getting there... hoo." He sat up and held up a bag. "I decided that you needed to catch a rather integral part of the human experience so... I tried to track down that fruit you were talking about."

18 hesitantly reached forward and took the bag. She peered inside it and froze. There it was. That same fruit. The very same one 16 had given her on their trip.

"I'm not... super sure it's the right one... but the guy at the store said it matched the description... so I got some." He smiled, his breath finally evening out. "Would you believe they were actually native to near here after all? Boy, did I ever get off on the wrong track... I think I need... a nap."

She slowly took one from the bag and split it with little effort. There it was, the white flesh dotted with so many seeds, sharply contrasted against the pink skin. She tentatively took a bite.

In that instant, those memories came flooding back, vivid as ever. That feeling she'd felt... it was back, if only for a moment. And suddenly, 18 understood.

"Oh... wow." She looked over at Krillin. "I guess I was-" she was halted by a deep snore. Krillin had passed out there on the couch, out like a light, hat dangling from his foot off the end of it. She smiled and grabbed a coat, using it to cover him up. "You really are a weird little man," she noted, gently rubbing his shoulder. "But I guess you're a really good friend, too."

18 reached over and switched off the lamp before heading upstairs to bed. She'd have to remember to thank him in the morning. But for now... she had a lot to think about.

[three-eyed-cat]

This post is...kinda weird to make. In anyway I'm not invalidating anyone & just talking of my own experience w a suspicion of DID/OSDD

First of all, disclaimer - a therapist of mine, told me he had a suspicion of one of these disorder. I am not claiming to have one of them at all, I'm waiting to go to an actual professional that works with dissociative disorder before claiming to have anything! I also want to say- never talked about any head mates or anything to my therapist - just told him my experience with dissociation, without even mentioning it was dissociation (i was not sure therefore i didn't want to tell him that it was that, as I'm not a professional). Also! My experience is not something to steal & tell to your therapist to get a dissociative diagnostic. I just wanna talk about my own experience with dissociation & possible DID/OSDD.

Now, what did i tell him?

I simply told him, sometimes, i forget everything. I'm at the back of my brain, in a dark room, not able to see through my eyes. I can feel my body but in a weird way, in a blurry way. In a way where, my body does the basic tasks it needs to do to survive. My body and mouth try to socialize, seems normal, but i have no idea how what's going on. It only happens when I'm under really stressing circumstances. When i get out of it, I'm kinda lost. I know where I am, but it feels like i was not there for the longest time possible. It's like i was blocked at the moment where i was still there before going to the back of my brain, and the last 5 minutes before i went to my brain are playing over and over again while I'm not there. I have no ideas if that makes sense. It's a weird ass sensation, but i had that for the longest time i can remember of. Just, I'm not there anymore. My body is in automatic mode, then i wake up and i have control over everything again.

It's a really weird experience that i was scared to talk about for the longest time, before i met my actual psychiatrist. I was scared of it, because while on my dissociative state, people told me i was different. I acted like i didn't know them that much, or i changed my way of speaking, and yeah. Personally, i don't wanna advance on if it's DID/OSDD or not. I'm not qualified to diagnose myself (self dx is fine! As long as you do correct research and don't take all your information out of some carrd), and i personally truly think it's just some dissociation where my body goes in automatic mode, and just, change bc it needs to do the bare minimum to survive & seems normal.

There was a lot to unpack after this appointment, it was a really hard appointment. So, he diagnosed me with a dissociative disorder (NOT DID/OSDD! just dissociation), highly suspected some PTSD as he told me i had a very strong form of dissociation, and that i was practically always trauma responding to everyone & everything (I'm not sure if that makes sense tbh, so I'm not advancing myself either on if i have PTSD or not- yes I'm trauma responding a lot, but i honestly think it was a misdiagnosis, but I'm continuing to see him and we'll figure that out), and he told me about the possible DID/OSDD related to my possible PTSD.

At first, i was scared asf. I do not want to have DID/OSDD, i have friends with diagnosed DID/OSDD, and i know how bad they're struggling. I never understood people wishing to have these disorder, it's not some kind of funny roleplay, it's truly something's that is super hard to deal with. I was so scared, that i was dissociating. I can't really remember what happened at all.

In second, i decided to accept my dissociation. With or without DID/OSDD, i have a dissociative disorder. I can forget hours, days, months, years of my life, just by being to the back of my brain. It's still scary asf, but i accepted it. With or without a certain disorder, I'll still have a disorder.

Sometimes i get scared, bc i feel like someone there and I'm having conversations with my inner voice. But never, the terms "alter" or "headmates" comes in the conversation. It's just, some funky little conversation with my inner dialogue (it's not funky at all, i absolutely hate it)

But now, here's come what my friends told me when I was dissociating. I act, completely different. not in a "I'm doing the bare minimum to survive", in a way where I just totally change and i still act like a person, but differently. I apparently talk about experience i can't remember when I'm not dissociating. They told me, that it was fine. Whenever it was just a random dissociative disorder or DID/OSDD, i didn't have to act like it wasn't there. That, i could just go with it the way i always went with it, by being in the back of my brain when I'm under high stress. And it helped a lot! Because, when you scared of having a disorder, you usually either go in full denial, or convince yourself you have it to feel legitimate. But the easiest way to go through a suspicion of a disorder, is honestly, just continuing your life like you always did. Ofc, talk about ur symptoms to a professional, because a diagnosis will always help you , to figure yourself out & to deal with it.

I promise, living your life without asking you much questions about whenever you have the disorder or not, helps so so much, and make you realize that having a (future) diagnostic won't change everything drastically. You just have to live your life like you always did, DID/OSDD or not, don't pressure yourself about whenever you have it or not! Just- stay like you always did, doubt or denial wont help you.

//- i hope nothing was offensive in this post, sorry it's a long post. I just needed to get my experience with dissociation and a suspicion of DID/OSDD out on somewhere. Please - no hate, fakeclaim, or anything mean in the comments/repost. Feel free to speak about your experience on there tho, I'll be sure to read every single one of them. Also don't invalidate anyone's experience. Please take all care, systems and non systems, and drink water!

[antiloreolympus]

14 Anti LO Asks

1. To the one anon: good question - how is it that the mortals dont know who Persephone is / assume she is a minor goddess and therefore its okay to mess with her but the gods (or Olympians / underworld denizens) know exactly everything about her (despite her being there only every so often and only being 20ish) - enough to say shes "wearing her signature white color" during a murder trial.

Also the reason why Persephone is wearing white is because

A). RS wanted persephone to always be "dressed as a bride" (and have Hades dressed as a groom respectively) to show that their matching / is supposed to be a visual cue that their eventually gonna be together.

B). I believe this is RS way of saying that Persephone (despite murdering some mortals) is innocent because in purity culture White = innocence, virginity, youth etc. (Even though RS explicity ssid she wanted to go against purity culture morals shes very much leaning into them). 

2. why are Psyche’s eyes yellow even in her human form? Is she sick??

3. honestly? LO is just gossisp girl at this point, espect even GG (at least in the first season) bothered to saturze the rich and was calling out how wealth and power makes them corrupt assholes. meanwhile LO is just GG season 2 and on of being like no no, the poor people are the evil people and the rich people are the oppressed ones! all while also fawning over their  wealth and status and being way into grown men wanting to bang barely legal teens and claiming to be "feminist" somehow.

4. Tumblr is well-known for broken tag system. Check the post' tags before complaining that it's op's fault. How about you guys not tag greek mythology when posting about LO? LO is not one-shot or short fancomic. It's also definitely not considered actual greek mythology. LO is years long webcomic with huge fans. LO has its own tag. Tell your fellow fans to stop using the greek mythology tag.

5. I would argue nyx is the only woman with a unique in design in LO but thats only because she looks like a deformed chicken woman. why was my night mom disrespected this much 😭

6. So now that LO is back from break and I can finally read chapter 170 - Why oh Why do ALL the female characters Have to be defined by their male love interests??? (Or really just love interests in general).

I understand LO qualifies as the "romance" genre and there are certain stipulations or I guess themes or what have you that make it romance but for f*cks sake.

Psyche being worried about Eros loving the "fake" her I kinda get, but really? Thats your most pressing concern?? Hera is defined by her garbage marriage to Zeus - King of the gods (of which is why she is Queen of the gods). Hestia + Athena are now defined solely by their relationship to each other (not the TGOEM or their respective traits of being a goddess of the hearth + goddess of war, strategy etc etc).

Aphrodite is defined by giving Persephone "relationship" advice (e.g: telling her to curb stomp Minthe because "nymphs dont take things from gods" - doubly implying that people are things to own) And by her jealousy of Persephone in the first place because Hades made a comment about how he thought Persephone was prettier than her. And also because of her "house of debauchery" (Artemis'  words) - and relationship with Ares.

Persephone is defined both by Apollo raping her and by her fated future status as Queen of the underworld (so her relationship with Hades). Hell, even the minor characters such as nymphs are defined by this relationship status / standard. Minthe is defined by her mean spirited personality yes, but Also because of her abusive relationship with Hades prior to the introduction of Persephone. Psyche is defined by her relationship woes with Eros. Daphne is defined by her relationship with Thanatos (and because shes a flower nymph) but also mostly because she looks like Persephone.

Rhea is defined by her marriage / relationship to Kronos (lets ignore the whole "fertility goddess power" plot for a second). Even Aetna is defined by Haphestus creating her! Is there not a single character (especially female) is isnt defined by their romantic love interest???Sorry. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but thats definitely how ot comes off as of late, in regard to the latest chapters.

Okay, same anon as earlier - I take it back somewhat - we have Artemis and Hecate that are not defined by their romantic relationships - but rather their lack of one.

However the way they are shown - it still comes off as a standard - "Artemis is stingy / a stick in the mud" because shes not romantically involved and is "barbaric" (according to Hera). And Hecate is still somewhat defined by her being Hades' employee (and cheerleader for him and Persephone to be together).

So technically yes, we have at least 2 characters that are not defined by their romantic interests / relationships, but they are still held to the standard of their "un-ladylike / undesirable" because their not romantically involved.

(I guess I should count Demeter, but only because shes more defined by just being "Persephone's overbearing mom" )

7. i think whats also kinda weird about this trial is like?? persephone is obvs framed as not liking the attention (bc duh) but she didnt like the previous press either, she wanted to be private, but wouldnt being with hades force her to be in the spotlight that makes her uncomfortable? also the citizens of the underworld already dislike hades, why would they want a uncontrollable felon as their queen, even if she found innocent? idk the whole thing just makes the endgame less plausible, tbh.

8. love that rachel was able to find a random deity name to name her random nymph the greek word for "beans" meanwhile apparently cant google actual greek names for even one off characters? like andrew, ellen, george, alexis, damian, luke, phoebe, sophia, and so any other english names are also greek, but she cant even bother with that? what exactly is her "research" if she cant even bother to spend 30 seconds googling greek names? at this point LO seems determined to be as un-Greek as possible.

9. wait so everyone in LO went from having no idea who persephone was, to her only showing up on ONE magazine cover, to now being the most well known person with a signature color? all in the span of two weeks with no genuine public outings? how does that make sense? also white isnt even her signature color if 90%+ the female cast and even a lot of the men ((including ZEUS) all wear it too.

10. the fact the courthouse WASNT the areopagus, aka the place in greece where they say the first ever trial ever happened and where the court system was invented, is just another point of rachel talking out her ass about being "respectful" or "researched" on greece and their mythology. its literally one of the most famous mythology spots ever with some fantastic stories to it and she's just like "nah! boring rectangle will do!" like why even both with mythology then if its this devoid of it?

11. Anons are saying Hades in the FS chapter is leaning down and talking to Persy like a child. Say it aint true.

(I wanna see. I thought RS was finally giving Persy adult proportions). 😨

12. So wait, hold up. I kinda get where RS is coming from with the law school in the underworld (because Hades is supposed to be a kinda Judge, jury, executioner situation in the afterlife when it comes to mortals and their "punishments" and whatnot). However, is RS stating that the ONLY law school / courthouse exists in the underworld? If so, why? Why wouldn't Athena be there then. She's a goddess of strategy and justice (among other things).

Also is RS really implying that Hades owns not only the banks and underworld but the law too? She really wants Hades to be a Gary Sue along side her Mary Sue - Hades controls everything that matters and since its his realm and blah blah blah rules, Zeus, king of the gods cant do anything about it.

(Which is dumb. Because you would think that because Persephone committed the crime in the mortal realm / on, or near Olympus that therefore she would be brought back there to dole out justice under Zeus jurisdiction because she committed the crime in His Realm). 

13. FP Spoiler ahead:

Why on earth couldn't the reporters have Greek names? There is so much wrong and bad with this story, yet this irks me so much. It is Brenda all over again.

14. i dont really get the point of the trial plotline, tbh. even persephone says she should be punished and held accountable, but hades is framed in the right for trying to go against that and weasel her out of it. so?? plus zeus has legit reason to punish them? persephone is a danger to others, demeter and hermes both committed treason to cover it up, and hades was harboring a fugitive of the law and is now trying to force the system to let her go. how is zeus in the wrong for this?

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 006

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: kinda fluff ig

authors note: sorry it’s short but it’s more of a filler 🤪 im trying to get back to writing:)

“what are you doing today?” jungkook asked as i was getting ready for the therapy session later that day.

“therapy, remember?” i chuckle, braiding my hair.

“obviously i meant after,” he laughs. i roll my eyes, shaking my head.

“obviously,” i chuckle.

“so, what are you doing AFTER therapy?” he giggles.

“coming home and sleeping. why?” i scoff, tying off the simple French braid. i pick up the phone and walked over to my bed, slipping on my black zip up that was probably two sizes too big, but offered succor consistently.

“how about, instead of that, you come with me,” jungkook says. i knew he was smiling, like he was proud of himself, which made me smile in return.

“care to elaborate more?” i said.

“ah, it has to be a surprise. but don’t worry, you’ll be safe with me,” he says. and now i know for a fact he is donning a shit eating grin.

“people who say that always say it before they lead others into their impending doom,” i chuckle, shaking my head.

“do you really think i would put you in harm's way?” he says, feigning hurt.

“i don’t know, considering last week you tried to push me into my neighbor's bush, i would say yes,” i tease. i heard him gasp dramatically which produced more fits of laughter.

“i told you, i was testing a theory! and i did try to warn you. how did i know you had weak reflexes?” jungkook huffed.

“kook, yelling gibberish isn’t much of a warning,” i say through my laughter. my laughter slowly dies when there’s silence on the other end.

“did you hang up on me?” i ask, laughing again.

“sorry, i was giggling like a school girl because of the nickname you gave me,” he openly admits. i chuckle in return and roll my eyes again.

“i feel like kook barely qualifies as a nickname,” i say.

“don’t you dare call me anything else. i will only answer to kook from now on,” jungkook huffs, eliciting more laughter.

“ah, but what if i wanted to call you something else?” i say, a teasing edge to my tone.

“l-like what?”

“i don’t know, i’ve always thought you looked like a cute little bunny. maybe bun? or maybe even baby boy, since you are younger than me,” i say, further teasing him.

“you’re teasing and it’s not fair because you know i have a fat crush on you,” jungkook whines. i snicker and lay back on my bed.

“anyways bun, i gotta get going but i’ll see you at the session,” i smile, my eyes jumping around to random objects in my room.

“you never answered my question,” he mumbles, a definite pout on his lips.

“yes jungkook, i will go out with you,” i chuckled.

“two things. one, i’m bun. two, this isn’t a date. trust me, i wanna plan our first date out beforehand,” he states proudly.

“how do you know i’d say yes to a date?” i chuckle. we both knew i was joking because of course i would say yes to the boy who started to burrow his way into my everyday thoughts.

“you said yes to hanging out with me today, didn’t you?” he smirks, causing me to roll my eyes for the umpteenth time during our conversation.

“goodbye jungkook.”

“that’s baby boy to you.”

-

the session seemed to go as it normally did. everyone talking about their week and what they did to self improve in some way. as usual, namjoon waited until the very end to bring me up to the front.

“uhm, hi again,” i awkwardly chuckle. this elicited the crowd to chuckle with me, jungkook and yoongi’s snickers louder than the rest. i glared over at them, shoving my hands into my pocket.

“i guess, this week was a bit of an eye opener. i spoke to a close friend… about.. ya know. and i guess it was the first time somebody told me about… about that night. it was weird, ya know. you would think after doing it so many times, anything to do with it would brush right off. but… this was different. the hurt in his voice. how prominent the memory was… i guess i never really thought about the idea of someone else holding onto that pain despite me letting go of it. it just gave me a lot to think about…” i trailed off, noticing how my gaze was locked on the floor as i recounted the memory that was still fresh of hobi crying to me about the thought of losing me. it’s been bugging me since he told me and i couldn’t figure out why. i had come to the conclusion that maybe sharing it would get it off my mind. and oddly enough, there was a little release of pressure off of my chest, that i could breathe a bit easier.

“wow, thank you so much yn for sharing that. and you’re right. in our time of agony, we convince ourselves that we’re the only ones who ever really feel that pain. but pain knows no bounds. and neither does love.”

[out-of-control]

SCENE

words: 1179

warnings: drug ment/overdose ment (past)

summary: Jim misses playing shows.

Jax and Jim started going to shows together again a few months into sobriety– harrowingly, at first, but as long as they have each other there to keep them in line, everything goes alright. Or, if it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be alright, they can call it an early night and go get some cheesecake instead.

Playing shows, however; that’s a whole different animal. Jim can’t roll with the crowd he used to anymore. He learned that the hard way. He hasn’t seen any of his old “show buds” for a year now. Somewhere, deep inside himself, he wonders if he’s meant for it anymore. After all, he’s got a job, he’s got a roof over his head, he’s got a stable relationship, and never before in his life could he have said any of those. But, as dedicated he is to staying sober, he can’t kid himself and say it hasn’t felt like losing a limb. Maybe two. He misses the stage a lot. A lot a lot. Jax told him to play just for him, audience of one, but Jim thought that was stupid, told him to get his guitar and play with him instead. It’s been helping, for sure, their two-man band sessions, but it goes without saying that it’s just not the same.

—

Tonight at the Pross, the lineup– so he’s told, consists of all straight edge bands, and it is packed. Jax has his work cut out for him, as Jim gets to sit back and watch the sea of people ebb and flow from behind the counter. He’s heard of a few of the bands before, vaguely, but they sound… good. Really good. Way better than he was expecting, for how little he’s heard of them. Jim feels his chest ache.

It’s a slow night for the bar; obviously, but pretty hilariously. Jim and Anna crack jokes at each other about putting the self-serve water station away just to give them something to do. Jim always kinda made fun of the edge guys, but he supposes he qualifies as one now. He agonizes a little over whether or not he should introduce himself to the bands, feeling weird about it, out of his element. He hasn't done that in a long time, and he isn’t really Mr. Hot Shot Bassist anymore.

The house lights go on, the crowd files out, and Jim tidies up behind the counter for closing as the bands load out their gear. “Jim?” a voice comes, a little ways away, and Jim turns to look, combing his pink hair back with his fingers. He meets a pair of eyes, and suddenly he finds his heart lodged in his throat, as the studded vest-clad woman straightens and moves closer. “What the fuck, really?”

Jim feels weirdly defensive, hackles raised. “What?” he blurts out.

She pauses. “It’s Pennie, remember?”

“I know,” Jim says cautiously, suddenly realizing he sounds like an asshole. 

“Just-” She looks him up and down, like she’s looking at a ghost. He’s probably barely recognizable anymore. The scars are kind of a dead giveaway, though. “I heard you were dead, dude. You looked like fucking shit the last time I saw you, and then you just disappeared. And now you’re just here, like a year and a half later?”

Jim blinks. Right. “Oh.”

An awkward silence hangs between them. “It uh… it scared me sober, Jim,” Pennie says then, eyebrows knitting together. “Or at least helped get me to that point. You were kind of a big deal around here, you know. Everyone knew you. But,” She gestures vaguely at him, and smiles a little. “Word of mouth’s a bitch, I guess. Kinda worked in my favor, though.”

“What?” Jim blurts, again, and huffs out a nervous laugh, brain on the verge of overloading. One of his old drug buddies is here. And she’s sober. Because of Jim. Who is also sober. People knew about him. People still think he’s dead. People cared about him being apparently dead. People cared about him. 

“I mean, you could play in any fucking band on the spot, and you did, and you were good at it.” She wrinkles her nose. “Were. I mean, I’m sure you still are.” she laughs. “Sorry.”

“Fucking Christ,” Jim grits out, something in her laugh making him aware about the full-body tension he’s holding, and he shakes his head. “Sorry, this is just, a lot to take in?”

“Oh, sure, this is a lot for you,” Pennie teases, reaching over the counter and nudging his shoulder, giving him a sunny grin. “What the fuck, man. You’re alive! You have a job! Have you just been hiding out here this whole time?” her expression shifts to something more pensive. “You didn’t quit playing bass, did you?”

“Well,” he says weakly, glancing down at a container of lime wedges for a second, clears his throat. Where to fucking start. “I’ve been… I guess, yeah. I started here at the beginning of February. Got a boyfriend. Got a job.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, tries to be casual about taking a quick breath. Christ, this is weird to talk about, here, now. “I did overdose, that was– that did happen. Had a reckoning or whatever, got clean. Took a couple tries, but. Here I am.” he smiles a little, awkwardly. “I haven’t been gigging, though, no. I still play, just– try to keep myself sane.”

“Look at you,” Pennie leans on the bar, propping her chin on her hand, looking weirdly proud over a guy she barely knows anymore. He supposes she gets what a big deal it is, though. “Glad you’re still around. It’s good to see you.”  

“Thanks,” Jim says quietly, relaxing his shoulders. “It’s… good to see you too.” He means it, which is crazy, because he never thought of an instance where he wouldn't be filled with dread over running into one of his old acquaintances again. Though, people can change, for the better, clearly. He and Jax are proof of that.

“Do you want to play shows again?” she circles back to. “‘Cause– shit, you are one talented motherfucker, you know that?”

“I don’t know,” Jim says, wincing a little. “The scene was… hard on me. I had to get away from it all, y’know?”

She tilts her head. “Well, that’s ‘cause you were in the wrong scene, bud.” Jim raises an eyebrow at her, and she points her thumb over her shoulder, back at the empty venue. Jim switches to furrowing his brow. He misses playing shows. He really does. But... he remembers how it went the last time.

“How about this,” Pennie says, watching his face journey. “Give me your number, and I’ll let you know when I have gigs coming up. Come on out– if you want– I’ll introduce you to some friends, you can feel it out, okay?”

Jim stands there hesitating, wearing a pained expression, rubbing the inside of his wrist. Inhale. “Sure. Okay.” he says, and she fishes her phone out of her pocket.

—

[drarryruinedme7]

kinktober, day 8. medical kink

To @rockmarina 💓 I’m sorry, this is nothing like you wanted (I don’t know why it’s so fluffy xD), but I couldn’t resist! If you dislike doctor/patient dynamic, well, you’re warned. Happy reading! thanks @malenkayacherepakha for the beta. 

“Healer Malfoy?” Kutch enters Draco’s office without even knocking. Typical.

Technically, he’s Draco’s boss so he can do whatever he wants to. But still. 

“Yes, boss?” They both hate it when Draco calls him that. It makes Draco say it even more.

“I have a special patient for you. Look, I wouldn’t have sent him to you, ever.” He accompanies the words with a scowl. “But it looks fairly important and—” Kutch takes a deep breath. “You’re the most qualified at the moment.” 

Draco rolls his eyes. “Was it really that hard to say?”

“Yes,” Kutch quickly replies. “He’ll come in with a disguise. Call me only if extremely necessary, I’m needed elsewhere. And Malfoy?”

Draco only barely resists the temptation to sneer. 

“Treat him well.”

With that, Kutch exits Draco’s office and Draco can finally let out all the very elegant expletives he was thinking. Treat him well. As if, after more than ten years of service, Draco would still need such advice. 

“Err, excuse me?” 

Draco looks up from his desk to see a medium-height bloke, green eyes, sharp jaw. Draco vaguely registers that there’s something familiar about him.

“Hello, please come in and close the door,” Draco says, professional voice and polite smile in place. He can be kind, thank you very much. 

The bloke enters Draco’s office, carefully sitting on the chair in front of him. Draco keeps smiling, hoping it will reassure him. 

“Feel free to drop your glamour when you feel like it. What should I call you?”

“Er.” The bloke shifts on the chair, looks around with clipped movements. “Gods, I can’t. It’s too weird. You’re weird, too polite.”

Draco blinks. “Excuse me, you don’t want me to be polite?”

“It would surely make this look more normal.” The man sighs, scratches at the back of his neck. “Well, I guess…” He waves a hand and his glamour starts to dissipate.

Ill-mannered and a show-off. What, only because the guy can wordlessly and wandlessly control his magic—

“Potter!?” Draco blurts out before regaining control of himself.

Potter grimaces, eyes apologetic. “When they told me you were the best I almost laughed in their faces. But… I really need help, and this is the first time I—”

With a grunt, Potter breaks off, bending over at the waist, head clunking on Draco’s desk. He convulses violently, and his hands disappear into his lap, clutching at it desperately. 

“What...? Potter, can you hear me?” Draco stands up to quickly reach Potter’s side, touching his shoulder lightly. 

Potter’s breathing has sped up like crazy and he keeps making these small sounds… Draco feels heat rush to his cheeks. The sounds Potter’s making are all too similar to mewls, to the sounds someone should make when sprawled on a bed, getting the best fuck of their life.

“Potter?” Draco asks again, voice rough. He straightens, taking his hand off Potter’s shoulder. He can’t believe he’s letting himself be this unprofessional, never mind with Potter of all people.

“Christ,” Potter murmurs, straightening. His face is flushed, eyes dazed. He does look as if he’s just been shagged. 

Damn it.

“‘m sorry,” he continues. He’s not looking at Draco and his hands still haven’t left his lap. “You can laugh at me. I… have these episodes. It’s been two months already, I’ve stopped going out, practically secluded myself in my house, because, err…”

“I’ll never laugh at one of my patients, P— Harry,” Draco says, leaning against his desk. “Can you describe to me what you feel during these episodes?”

Potter bites on his bottom lip, looking at Draco’s eyes briefly before dropping his gaze. “I— it’s… I orgasm.” 

There’s a tense silence as Draco registers Potter’s words. He internally shouts, struggling to maintain composure externally. “You...” Draco takes a deep breath. “Are you telling me you have spontaneous orgasms?”

He’s never once in his medical career, come across such a case. Of course, it would happen with Potter and of course, Draco couldn’t just let go of his stupid school crush on him and had kept wanking to thoughts of him over the years.

This will make his work all so much easier. Great.

Potter sighs, then nods. Draco shakes his head. He has to treat him like any other patient. 

“Alright,” he says. “Alright. Can you tell me how often you have these… episodes?” 

“Per day?” He asks, furrowing his brows. 

“You have them daily? Wait, you have them more than once a day?!” Draco’s sure his voice has gotten several octaves higher, and that this is the exact opposite of ‘professional’ and ‘treat him well’, but fuck. Fuck!

Potter winces. 

“I’m sorry,” Draco quickly amends. “Really, I don’t... It’s just a new case for me too. Please, go on.” 

Potter scrunches his nose up at him but takes a deep breath as he starts biting his lips again. “At first it was only, like, maybe a couple of times a week? Mostly at evenings or nights, that’s why I brushed them off. I thought, I don’t know… late-blooming, or something.” He scratches at his nape. “Err, but then they increased. I’d say I have them, like, six to seven—”

Potter’s hands fly to the armrests of the chair, gripping them for dear life. He shuts his eyes and his entire body goes rigid. Draco should really, really avert his eyes right now but he finds himself frozen on the spot, watching as Potter’s lips open in moans and his hips stutter as he comes. Again. 

When he opens his eyes this time, they’re even more glazed, perspiration all over his face. “See,” he says with a small voice and Draco’s chest constricts. He has a patient, an embarrassed patient, who’s struggling in front of him and all Draco can do is get steadily harder. “That’s why I stopped going out or working. It’s just so random and it keeps happening without no warning, I’m…” He inhales deeply. “I’m so exhausted, all the time. All my muscles ache.” 

Draco nods, clearing his throat. “I agree, you need to regain control over your life. If you feel comfortable, I’d ask you to lie on that stretcher.” 

Potter hums, standing to reach the stretcher. He lies down, eyes glossed with tears. 

“Look, if you need someone else or you aren’t comfortable—”

“Nothing like that,” Potter says. His voice is thick, but he smiles. “It’s just… the other Healers I saw, they laughed at me and told me I was crazy to want to get rid of such a pleasurable condition. I’m just happy you’re taking it seriously.”

Draco’s cock is aching with how hard it is but he smiles, hoping the scrubs will hide it. This is seriously messed up. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I really want to help you. I’ll run some tests now, okay? Just tell me when it tingles, tickles or hurts.”

Draco takes out his wand. “Ready?” 

When Potter nods Draco starts casting diagnostic spells of all kinds. He has to stop another three times before he can finally understand what’s happening.

By the end of it, Potter’s not the only one who’s panting. Draco’s cock is crying for release, keeps twitching and pulsing, balls tight as he watches Potter’s face scrunch up in pleasure and his mouth open in bliss. 

It’s all too erotic. “Okay, Harry,” Draco says finally. Potter must have felt Draco’s arousal because he turns to look at him with wide eyes, just that little more focused at Draco’s rough voice. Draco clears his throat. “Erm. I’m 99% sure I know what’s wrong.”

Potter blinks, brings a hand to his hair, trying to adjust it. It only looks messier. Fuck, the level of testosterone in the room must be so high Draco’s not sure he’s not intoxicated. 

“Right,” he says when Potter smiles. He looks entirely too hot for his own good. “It’s in your nervous system. Some nerves are damaged so that when you brush the wrong spots in your body they send the wrong message to your brain.”

The expression on Potter’s face is pure confusion. Draco sighs and tries again. “Think of it as a Quidditch game. Seekers must look for the Snitch; Keepers must guard the goalposts and so on. Your neurons have specific functions, but what happens if a Seeker suddenly stops looking for the Snitch and starts throwing Quaffles around, instead?”

Potter’s face clears. “A fucking mess.”

“Indeed,” Draco says. A smile forms on his face against his will. 

“Is it curable?” Potter asks. His chest is still heaving heavily up and down. 

Draco nods. “Yes, but it will take quite some time. In the meantime, I can prescribe you some potions that will help diminish your episodes.”

Potter practically jumps off the stretcher, throwing his arms around Draco’s neck. “Bloody hell, that’s amazing! Thank you, Draco, thank you!” 

Draco laughs and returns the hug, remembering a tad too late he’s as hard as he could ever get. 

“Er.” Potter pulls back, raising an eyebrow. “Well, maybe… someone could show me what real pleasure is again. I kinda forgot it.” 

Draco’s kissing Potter before he can double-think it, whispering between kisses, “I’ll make you cry harder than you ever have.” 

[simpingforsoftboys]

The Odds of Us All

Special CH1: A Glance At The Past (the one where Sakusa meets Y/n)

Okay so this chapter takes place right before Y/n’s first year of high school! I wanted to write more Sakusa within the “The Odds of Us All” AU but it’s not my dudes time to shine yet :( So here we are, I’m going to write about the time Y/n met Kiyo ahahhaha. Enjoy my fellow Sakusa simps ;)

*technically this can be read as a stand alone one shot but why would you only settle for that when you can read the series?

“Y/n, I know you want to stick by Tetsuro and Kenma... but you seriously need to consider your future. Eventually you’ll have to separate from them, don’t let your history hold you back in the past.” M/n Ushijima, Y/n’s competent and straight forward mother advised, gazing at her daughter with a knowing stare. At the moment the h/c girl was looking through a long lists of high schools she had the options of attending. Her top four options were Fukurodani Academy, Shiratorizawa Academy, Itachiyama Institute, and Nekoma High. 

Fukurodani was a good option, they had a focus on subjects like Japanese and English literature, as well as history and art. While Nekoma High’s more favored subjects were the STEM courses, and they even had a bonus of being the chosen high school of her childhood friends, Kuroo and Kenma. These two were the cheapest options- neither of them being a private academy like the other two. 

Itachiyama Institute was probably the place her mother wanted her to attend, they were renowned for their excellent college prep classes, exceptional sports teams, and high rate of graduating students getting into Imperial Universities (Japan’s Ivy League basically). Shiratorizawa Academy was all the way in Miyagi- but they had a dorm that she could stay in. There was also the fact that she was guaranteed an invitation from the headmaster himself, due to the Ushijima family’s children studying there as per tradition. Her cousin Wakatoshi also attended the school, as expected of him, if she chose to follow his lead she was guaranteed friends and a good time also.

Choosing a high school was hard- especially when her mother was pushing her in one direction, only to backtrack and say that she would support her no matter what school she wanted to attend. Y/n briefly wondered what it’d be like when deciding on a university in the future- however those thoughts were far from pleasant so she shook them off. 

“I... don’t know mom.” M/n looked at her daughter long and hard, releasing a soft sigh before pulling out her phone and tapping away.

“How about you take Itachiyama’s entrance exams and see if you at least qualify? Any other school on this list will accept you as a student in a heartbeat. At least this way you’ll know if Itachiyama is even an option for you.”

You blinked, considering her words, they made sense so you agreed.

“Great, the entrance exams are this Sunday, I’ll drop you off then.”

~Time skip to Sunday, location: Itachiyama Institute~

You had finally finished the god awful tests. It had taken an excruciating three hours of your time to complete and your brain felt like literal mush. Stomach rumbling, you made your way to one of the vending machines you remembered passing by earlier. One thing you were glad for was the location of the exams- right in the administration wing of the school- naturally, the heads of the place had access to the best snacks. You walked silently, eyes gazing at the ceiling, not paying attention to anything but the fluorescent lights. Rounding the hallway corner, your eyes fell to the end of the hall- where the vending machine was located. Humming a small tune you continued your leisure stroll, fishing through your pocket for your credit card. After retrieving it you purchased a mini chocolate cake (that looked more like a brownie than anything), white chocolate matcha cookie, and a tiny cup sized bottle of milk tea. As the transaction was going through, you picked up on approaching footsteps and people’s voices. 

“Apologies *indistinguishable*-san I simply must take this phone call. There’s a vending machine around the corner, would you please wait for me there?” An adult said, heavy footsteps receding, a door opened, then shut. You turned back to the task of collecting your snacks. 

“Is this what I think it is?” A noticeably younger sounding male’s voice asked, barely audible. You vaguely wondered what was going on over there, before promptly setting your food on a nearby chair, pulling out your hand sanitizer and applying it swiftly. As you contemplated what snack to indulge yourself with first, you were deaf to the incoming footsteps and soft gasp from behind you.

“But if I ate the cake I might accidentally spill crumbs in the hallway... maybe the cookie’s a better idea?” You wondered, pocketing your sanitizer, still oblivious to the boy behind you. “Hmm...”

“Uhh... excuse me?” That voice from earlier called out, startling you. You whipped around, only to make eye contact with pretty onyx eyes, the color of warm coal and cooled lava rock. His entire being was outlined in a highlighter yellow- it was kind of fitting, having matched the schools signature colors. 

‘Woah my soulmate’s actually kinda hot,’ you thought to yourself, taking in the boys appearance. Wavy black hair, two moles above his right eye, you couldn’t see the rest of his face- since it was obscured by a white face mask. He was perhaps 5′11- but something told you he was on the cusp of a growth spurt. So caught up in your musings you hadn’t noticed that you had accidentally voiced your thoughts out loud. “Thank god he’s not an old man.”

“...Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Mr. Highlighter questioned, staring at you incredulously. 

“Oh no did I say that out loud? I am so sorry- I swear I didn’t mean too!” You exclaimed before bowing in apology, cheeks hot with embarrassment. Sometimes you spoke whatever was on your mind- a bad habit you were currently working hard on breaking.

“...” He didn’t say anything, still looking at you judgingly. Internally he was wondering why he was destined to be with someone like you. “Sakusa.”

“Huh?” You straightened back up, wide eyed. 

“My name’s Sakusa Kiyoomi... this is the part where you’re supposed to introduce yourself.” Uh oh ‘Sakusa’ sounded a tad bit irritated with you now. His name sounded familiar somehow... but you didn’t quite know why.

“R-right! My name’s Ushijima Y/n!” You smiled nervously, awaiting his reaction. He looked pleasantly surprised at that.

“Ushijima? Like Ushijima Wakatoshi?” Your smile dwindled slightly at his choice of words. Of course he was excited- not because he met you- but because he was able to use you to meet Toshi. 

“Yeah... he’s actually my first cousin.” Attempting to keep the conversation flowing you asked “are you a volleyball fan?” 

Unbeknownst to you, Kiyoomi noticed how you reacted when he asked about Wakatoshi, so he decided to avoid that topic for now. 

“Mm... I’m actually a player. That’s what I’m here for... I was scouted for the volleyball team.” He says it so nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t sought out to join the best high school boys team in the entire country. 

You’re just as impressed as he hoped thought you’d be, all starry eyed and mouth open in awe. “Scouted? That’s amazing Sakusa!” He’s pleasantly surprised that you forgoed the honorifics, but a tad bit disappointed at your use of his surname. “You must be very skilled- I’m only here because I had to take the entrance exams.” 

“How were they?” He finds himself blurting out softly, it’s uncharacteristic of him- not that you could know that- but he finds that he doesn’t mind being a bit forward when it comes to you. Despite not usually being one for conversation, he doesn’t want this chat to end. 

“Mm they were okay I guess... but the math portion was pretty difficult.” Speaking about the hard exams remind you about how hungry they made you and your stomach gurgles in response. Behind his mask, Kiyoomi’s lips quirk at the abashed expression you make- which disappears once you wave it off with a laugh and a brief apology. “Want a cookie? Or a cake?” You question, nodding over to your waiting snacks. He shakes his head. It feels almost invasive as he watches you unwrap your cookie- noticing the care you take in making sure your fingers only touch the wrapper, not wanting to touch the cookie itself, lest you get crumbs on your hands. But you don’t look uncomfortable at his weird interest, so he continues to stare. “I can buy you a snack? What do you like to eat?”

“It’s fine, I have money.” The dark haired male pats his pocket, “I like umeboshi... anything with umeboshi.” Those enchanting e/c orbs flit over to him once more and he discovers that you’re probably the only person that could stare at him endlessly without making him uncomfortable. This thought scares him- he doesn’t even know you- he shouldn’t be thinking such things. You’re tapping away at the vending machines, cookie having been finished and trash tossed in a bin nearby. He assumes you’re just buying another snack for yourself.

“Here... is ume daifuku good?” You question, holding it out to him with one hand, while your other one reaches back into the dispenser part of the machine and retrieves a can of matcha tea. “Delivery for one!” The smile adorning your lips sends a pleasant feeling throughout his body, normal tendencies forgotten, he accepts your offer. 

“Thank you... can I pay you back? I don’t have cash on me at the moment, but maybe another time?” He pockets the canned tea and holds the daifuku in one hand, allowing you to spurt some hand sanitizer on his empty one. You shake your head, h/c hair swinging, his heart sinks in his chest- rejection overcoming him. 

“Don’t even think about paying me back Sakusa... but we can meet up again... maybe off of school grounds?” A shy look overtakes your features and he can feel his heart picking itself up off the floor and taking flight at how cute you are. 

“I... wouldn’t be opposed.” 

“Great, let’s keep in touch then! What’s your number? I’ll text you!” He tells you his number, watching as you type it into your phone quickly. 

“Say cheese!” You twirl around holding the camera up so that it focuses on Kiyoomi’s tall figure, your head poking in at the corner of the screen. He doesn’t do much- the only noticeable change in his demeanor is the *very* slightly shocked look on his face (you can tell by the wide stretch of his eyes). He licks his lips behind his mask and looks as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t get the chance. 

“Sorry about that Sakusa let’s continue the tour- hm am I interrupting something?” The headmasters voice says from the end of the hallway, he’s pleased to see the two of you together. Both being the children of very influential people- it bode well for the school if you kids got along. 

“No, we’re good thank you... I’ll talk to you later Ushijima.” 

“Call me Y/n, Sakusa! I’ll text you okay?” 

The headmaster walks off, expecting Sakusa to follow. As he passes you he says one last thing. 

“You can call me Kiyoomi then.”

Series Masterlist

Taglist: CLOSED @kac-chowsballs​ @kotwd​ @ems1des​ @normalisthenewnorm @micheleinumaki @gomchan @empress-simps @mer-der-mi @honeyswhiskers @sakusas-number1-stan @astronomyturtle @akirahyoshi @afire24  @its-the-aerieljeane @carla-1217​ @fucktheworlddude @baes-x @shadoweepingscream @sirachano0dles @katamint @420-uwu @xstormiii​ @youtuboo​ @chibiitakoyaki

[ka-writes]

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Notes: haha I did a semi short chapter... sorry... also this is chapter 4 of my space AU..

ALSO READ THE DAMN WARNINGS. Thank you ☺️

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Incase you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 3:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Warning: Mentions of abuse (physical verbal and sexual) there aren’t any graphic recalls it is simply mentions. Mentions of being beaten up. Mentions of knives and blood. Threatening characters, and character pain. Again characters being trapped and not going home. Cussing. Characters passing out. Characters being distressed characters being malnourished. Yea I kinda was in an angsty mode sooo.... here you go..

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Ao3 link:

——————

“Humans are [Add text here]”

Chapter 4: I guess it qualifies as an introduction?

Phil wasn’t expecting to wake up at 4 in the morning to the sound of laughter.

It wouldn’t be the first time, definitely not the last.

Curiously the avian poked his head into his kids’ room. The laughter wasn’t coming from the gardener, guard, or scientist. The laughter was coming from the assistant who wasn’t in their room. Phil turned his attention down the hall. Sure enough the laughter was louder. Quietly he made his way to the holding cell. Phil sat in a smaller hallway and decided to listen into the conversation… What can he say? He always eavesdropped..

“What even is a you-tube?” The assistant asked through small giggles. To that the human gasped as if he was hurt by the statement.

“You don’t have YouTube?! Or like an alien version of it?!” The human replied, not even trying to hide his shock.

“Erm no?”

“Well it’s like this thing that humans use to make really cool videos and stuff.”

“What’s a video?” Ranboo interrupted.

“They’re kinda like moving photos that usually work as a sort of entertainment or info dump. I could probably tell you thousands of the times my stupid teacher made me watch ‘educational’ videos..”

“So they’re kinda like illusions?”

“Yea but you don’t see 'em in 3D. As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted..” The enderian let out a small squeak of embarrassment at that, “YouTube is like a thing people use to post videos on. I am totally making an alien version of YouTube when I get out.” The air stiffened at that.

“Tommy.. you probably won’t get out for a while…” Ranboo said, Phil heard one of them shift and the entire atmosphere lost it’s warmth, “It’s not like you won’t get out! It’s just hard… especially when no one really trusts you yet.” Ranboo swallowed, as he usually does when he is uncomfortable, “Even when we let you out of the holding cell.. you probably won’t be allowed off the ship. It’s too dangerous for all of us..” the two fell into a deafening silence. Phil shivered at the tension, making sure to be silent while doing so.

“I assumed as much…” the human started, being the first to break the silence, “I-I… I guess I won’t be going home either… since the ISF absolutely hates us.. plus like you said, only already crazy humans are sent back..” the human sighed sadly.. For the first time Phil felt sympathetic towards a human. With that he decided it was time to start on breakfast.

——————

Three things happened after Tubbo woke up.

One, Ranboo passed out at the table. Phil simply shook his head and picked up the enderian with some unknown strength to the rest of the crew.

Two, a scream was heard from the other side of the ship, causing Wilbur to frantically run to the holding cell.

Three, Techno put his milk in before he poured his tea… I mean who does that?

Ignoring the last strange thing, Tubbo went to check on Ranboo. He was fine, so Phil said. “He only needs rest. Leave them be.” Was what Tubbo got as he peered into the enderian’s room. Shrugging off the weird behavior Tubbo made his way to the garden.

Before he made his way to the garden he noticed the human wasn’t in the holding cell. That meant he was probably in the lab… Which meant Tubbo would have to meet him.. Oh prime no. That’s not gonna happen.

He started sprinting to the garden. It was just passed the lab if only he took another step-

“Tubbo, I need your help.” Wilbur said from behind him. The droneling turned around reluctantly. Holding his breath he made his way into the medical part of the lab.

[gore and distressed characters, skim if you need to]

There, laying on the bed, was a human. He held back a scream which came out as a labored gasp. Sweat was bubbling on his forehead. With that he turned to Wilbur who examined the human from a distance.

“Go get some bandages and the stitching kit.” Wilbur commanded. Without hesitation Tubbo ran to grab the items. Wilbur took both objects and disinfected a bad cut on the human’s arm. He hadn’t even realized there was a cut until Wilbur cleared off the strange red blood. Wilbur then proceeds to stitch the wound and bandage the irritated wound.

That’s when Tubbo noticed the amount of blood the human lost. Most species wouldn’t be able to handle that much blood loss, but here was the beast of the galaxy, completely fine in a matter of minutes after losing quite a bit of blood.

[End]

When Wilbur was satisfied, he picked the human up and carried him back to the holding cell. Tubbo was unable to stop himself from following. Before thinking the droneling sat at the table and watched as Wilbur finished cleaning the human.

“Er.. do you want me to grab Techno so you can stay in here?” Wilbur asked, noticing Tubbo sitting in the corner.

Without saying a word Tubbo gave a small nod. Wil didn’t push like he usually did and left to get Techno.

Tubbo got up and approached the sleeping human. He was skinnier than what Tubbo thought humans should be. There were odd dark circles under his eyes and his hair clearly hadn’t had a good wash for what looked like months. He had injuries over his body and was practically shaking in his sleep.

Since Tubbo was preoccupied, he barely noticed Techno enter, or the door closing. Let alone the clangs and thuds from other crew mates.

He was preoccupied by the strange human who was sleeping in front of him.

The human stirred and the droneling stumbled away.

After a few seconds the human sat up and looked at the now fallen droneling.

“What the fuck?”

——————

Tommy didn’t expect another alien to push their luck in his space. But here he was.

The alien was smaller than Tommy by a lot. Further proving Tommy was the biggest man. Unlike the other aliens this one wasn’t threatening upon first glance.

The one from last night had been way more intimidating at first. Being way taller than Tommy and having weird lanky limbs and magical purple glowing orbs surrounding them. They had horns and a half and half complexion. One half of the alien being white with grey and purple freckles along with a red eye. The other half being a purplish black with grey and green freckles along with a green eye. They wore a suit with a red tie and dress shoes. He also had two tails of the same colors as his complexion. All of this being forgotten after they stammered through their introduction. It was honestly hilarious.

This alien was very different from the others. They had brown messy hair, encasing black antennas and small black bumps that resembled horns. Their skin was a honey peach color and practically glistened. There were strange hexagon patterns over their face along with three black stripes on either side of their face. They had bee wings, which was the only thing Tommy could relate to the alien too. There was also a black fuzzy tail, similar to a stinger, poking out of their pants. Their hands were lanky and pointed, completely black. There was also soft yellow fuzz poking out of their sleeves and holes in their pants. They wore ripped jeans along with a long sleeved green button down shirt. Their eyes were another thing entirely, being a honey brown in certain light but could also shift to a greenish blue in other light. They had fly-like pupils.

After a minute of them sitting in an awkward stance the alien got up. Using their wings to properly position them in a standing position. They brushed themselves off and approached Tommy.

“You lay a finger on anyone here and I will kill you. Understand?” The alien said, any intimidation that was lost from the alien falling was regained in an instant. The alien poked him in the chest with one of the lanky fingers, which started burning like acid after a minute.

Since Tommy was too, sacred, poggers to move he simply nodded, which is absolutely the best response to the situation. Sadly the alien didn’t get the gesture and dug their nail into his chest even more. Seriously, it was starting to really burn.

“Y-yes.” Was all Tommy could muster. The alien was satisfied with the answer and let go of Tommy. They walked out of the now open door. Shortly after Techno followed the door closing behind him. Tommy never realized the other alien was in the room.

[Mentions of abuse]

For a split second the interaction reminded him of his dad.

The way his dad did the same thing to his mom when she didn’t listen.

Or when his sister didn’t follow his dad’s friend.

Or when Tommy made a mistake.

Except instead of a nail, it was glass, or a punch, or sometimes a knife…

[End]

He shook off the thoughts and reminded himself that the aliens weren’t his father, nor were they going to do that to him.

They wouldn’t do that right?.. Right?

Tommy slapped his face, only to find there were silent tears flowing down his cheeks. He quickly wiped his cheeks and continued his train of thought.

Tommy trusted too easily. That in the end is how at nine he ended up getting beat up in his first foster home. He condemned himself for trusting the aliens. They were strangers. He knew nothing of them and they knew more about him. This was the moment in which Tommy shut himself off. Where he regained the ability to leave his blind trusting instincts.

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Chapter 4- End

Words: 1633

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Notes: I didn’t know what to add next so I decided to leave you here. Your welcome! <3

Again hope you enjoyed! Now go eat food, drink water, take a shower if you haven’t, and go to sleep. Stay safe, love ya! <3

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Tubbo: *falls out of fear

Tommy: ._. This dude ain’t intimidating

Tubbo: *threatens Tommy

Tommy: ,:^ never mind then...

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Reminder likes are appreciated but reblogs are better!!

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[thedreadvampy]

taken from @totopopopo

Why did you choose your URL? I legit could not tell you that with any precision, I've been using it so long. Vampy was a nickname I took on at like. 13 in like 2006 on an old roleplay forum bc my friends used to mock me for being awake at the point friends in the Western US were going to bed late. TheDread...I mean it's a Princess Bride reference for sure, it definitely went 'there's no Vampy username available on X platform so let's try TheDreadPirateVampy' but idk when or how I lost the 'pirate'

Any side blogs? A few! Obviously there's my art blog @ongoingart, but there are a bunch of weird and abandoned ones uhhhhh there's @rotefashion which is where I collated visual inspo for my MA, there's my Trauma Blog which I only give the URL out by request and my Sexy Stuff blog which NOBODY gets the URL for, there's @transexclusionaryradferengi which I largely made to keep Arguing With TERFs off my main, there's some I made at uni in like 2013 (@invisibleladycock started as a NSFW art blog but ended up just being me and my pal shooting the shit, @whatasillyoutfit was a daily outfit blog I quickly abandoned, and then @hellacollective and @chooseyourownsmut were collaborative projects with uni pals) and so on.

like I never delete things and I've been on here for like 10 years so. BUT. ongoingart and very occasionally rotefashion are the only ones I've used in years.

How long have you been on Tumblr? Too Bloody Long

Do you have a queue tag? I never learnt to queue and I'm not starting now you will get flurries of uncurated Content and you'll damn will like it.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? God I really don't know stop asking me to remember things

Why did you choose your icon? I did Pride makeup for like the first time in my adult life and I really liked it. also my old photo was me at like 16 and very steampunk and it kinda. no longer represented my vibe. idk why my icon has always been a photo of me, I'm just That Vain ig.

Why did you choose your header image? It is one of the paintings I'm proudest of and I just. I really leveled up on light and atmosphere in that one. again. vain. (also until last year I was mostly Robin Hobblogging on here so 🤷‍♀️)

What's your post with the most notes? Extremely the Blobbyland one it has literally like. 28k. then the Piggate one which has like 10k. basically my notes always have a few people in them saying 'WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ENGLAND'

How many mutuals do you have? How all I meant to know this? (and honestly given how much my social circles have changed while I've been on here I can't keep track of who's still active anyway)

How many followers do you have? 1541 because you bitches can't follow instructions and keep me at an even 1500. also that's Too Many Followers and simultaneously like is it idk what classes as a lot.

How many people are you following? Like 430 I pretty much only ever unfollow people of they make me actively angry to see them and even then I often don't like. I barely use my dash so 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever made a shitpost? I will direct you to my 3rd and 5th most popular posts which I call the Ragging On Toryboy Elias diptych. is that shitposting? what qualifies as shitposting?

How often do you use Tumblr every day? CONSTANTLY IT'S A PROBLEM I USE IT UNTIL I RUN OUT OF CONTENT THAT SCRATCHES THE BRAIN WORK ITCH AND THEN I SIT AND REFRESH IT

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? CHRIST have I like I swear I don't go out of my way to start shit but I seem to be everyone's Discourse Mutual all the same. anyway I mean obviously there's the Stuart Semple thing the TMA discourse the Pride discourse etc but tbh mostly I get anons so idk. which blogs I'm beefing with or how many of them there are.

How do you feel about the 'you need to reblog this' posts? Fuck off no I don't performative bullshitttttt

Do you like tag games? YES I CRAVE ALL INTERACTIVE CONTENT but in practise all my tags are boring

Do you like ask games? I LOVE TO BE TALKED TO

Which of your Tumblr mutuals do you think is famous? idk like all my art mutuals are more popular than me. also probably @alientoastt and @milfkarlmarx on pure mechsfandom clout

Do you have a crush on a mutual? no half my active mutuals are Children no offence. and also I don't do a lot of crushes and them I do have I save for irl pals 🥰

tagging @milfkarlmarx @silly-slacker-person @trisshawkeye