#weird that I now kinda barely qualify again

[cincodenada]

Reminder that it's Gender Census time again, because I almost forgot! It's still open for at least a week and change, go take it if you're in the target demographic! Contribute to data by us, for us - Cassian is good folks :)

The 2024 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.

[qatarsprint2023]

Birthday morning— OP81

Waking up early isn't Oscar's thing, especially not on his birthday, but he's always, always up for cuddles — Oscar Piastri x f!reader, sleepy Oscar, no use of y/n, implied nsfw content word count: 1.6k a/n: Please ignore that I didn't actually post this on his birthday because I kinda forgot I wrote this in the first place

A soft groan slips past your lips as you slowly wake up, the sun tickling your face. You try to stretch your body but find yourself trapped in Oscar's arms. His embrace is nice and cozy, his bare chest warm against your skin.

Your eyelids flutter a little as you try to get used to the light filtering into the hotel room through the small space by the window you must've forgotten to cover with the curtain last night after you and Oscar got back from the track.

Instinctively your hand reaches for your phone and you squint as the screen lights up, displaying that one picture of you and Oscar his mum took when you were in Australia over Christmas. It was very weird celebrating Christmas in the middle of summer at first. Well, for you at least.

Your eyes flick up to the time. 7:12

With a sigh you let your head fall back onto the soft pillow. Oscar's got you trapped in a hug and you can't even get up to close the curtain in order to darken the room, so going back to sleep is going to be impossible. Great.

You turn in Oscar's embrace so you're facing his chest that rises and falls gently with every soft breath he takes. His hair is a little tousled and his face squished against the pillow. He looks so beautiful with the light from outside gently illuminating his skin in a soft morning light.

Your eyes travel over his features that look so gentle and innocent as he sleeps— he's got a bit of acne like so many people your age, the freckles that adorn his cheeks aren't that visible yet, but as soon as summer comes around and he sees some sun they'll be more noticeable. His skin is smooth, the stubble he was trying out now gone after you convinced him to shave it.

You let your eyes travel down to his arms as you lazily trace your index finger along one, noticing the firm muscles that tense and relax under your touch until you reach his hand. Your hand reaches for his and you absentmindedly start playing with his fingers, admiring how nice his hand looks.

A quiet groan escapes you as your eyes land on the window again. Sleep isn't on the table anymore. Once the sun is up, that option is out the window.

Your finger trails up Oscar's left arm once more, gently grazing his skin with your nail as you do so. He stirs a bit, a quiet grumble making it's way past his lips.

"Happy birthday," you greet him softly as a smile spreads across your face, careful not to startle him. Your boyfriend however only lets out a soft hum of acknowledgement and keeps his eyes closed as he pulls you in closer and buries his face in your neck.

"Come on," you giggle a bit and brush some of Oscar's hair away from his forehead, a soft smile making its way onto his features at the tender touch. "It's your birthday."

"No..." his voice is drowsy, a bit of a lazy whine as his lips curve up slightly into an almost pouty expression.

The sheets rustle a bit as he shifts in bed, trying to get closer to you. His body is so warm, his skin so soft, and you can't help but smile as you wrap your arms around him, stroking his hair with one hand.

"Yes, it is," you chuckle in reply and place a soft kiss against his temple. "And I'm not gonna let you have a boring birthday morning before Qualifying."

"Can it be boring if I'm just with you?" he mumbles, his words muffled and barely understandable with his face pressed against your neck.

Oscar lets out a soft happy sound and his hand squeezes yours, pulling it towards him. "Mh... comfy..." he mutters and moves his head out of the crook of your neck a bit, only one eye open. "What time is it even?"

His words are laced with sleep, his voice raspy, coated thickly in his accent. It always comes out more when he's just woken up.

"Like, 7:15?" you reply and shrug, not bothering to actually check. "Come on, Osc.. Be excited or something."

"I don't wanna..." his words trail off as he mutters something else from under the blanket he's got pulled up over his chin. "It's too early... And you're comfy." In a smooth motion, he runs his hand up your torso to give your waist a gentle squeeze and feel your soft, warm skin against his.

"And you're being boring," you sigh and let your head drop against his. "What if I had something planned, mh?"

A lazy chuckle leaves Oscar's lips as he snuggles in closer to you. "What if I just wanna stay here with you?" he hums a little and lets his body sinks into yours.

"What would you even plan that's better than sleep?" he queries, his voice still a bit raspy and his face scrunched up as the light shines into his face through the window.

"I'm sure I could come up with something," you shrug and nuzzle your face against his hair, pressing a soft kiss there. Oscar's body begins to relax more, melting into your embrace as he holds you close to his chest.

"Does it involve having to leave this bed before I have to head to work?" he asks with a sigh as you start to gently scratch his scalp. "If so, my answer's no. I'd say I'm rather content here."

"Come on, birthday boy," you let out a chuckle and tilt his face towards you, your lips brushing against his. "Cheer up. You're 23!"

"I know... don't remind me," your boyfriend grumbles, but can't help the hint of a smile that tugs at his lips when yours brush against them.

"But it can't get better than this... It's warm here.. and comfortable.. and you smell nice.. what else do I need?" His voice trails off into silence as he relaxes in your arms, sighing contently.

"Aw, so sweet," you chuckle teasingly, nose lightly bumping against Oscar's as you lean forward, causing him to scrunch up his face.

"Mmhh... don't laugh," Oscar grumbles and lets out a soft whine as his lips curl into a pout. He reaches up and his hand finds your cheek, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. "I'm still tired, and you're being mean."

"How am I being mean?" you laugh and prop yourself up on your arm to get a better view of his face.

"You're literally laughing," he huffs but you know he's not being serious. "I just wanna sleep in a bit with you..." His thumb continues to gently rub soft circles on your cheek as he lets the other hand come to rest on your hip, his arm and hand curling around you to pull you against him so you can get a bit more comfortable.

"Alright, alright," you say defensively and scrunch up your face when he leans down and his hair tickles your face. "If that's what you want."

"Exactly. It's my birthday and choose staying in bed," his voice is still a bit raspy, but he's obviously no longer on the verge of falling asleep again. He doesn't seem to want to talk that much, he's content with just holding you in his arms, cuddling.

Oscar nuzzles his face against you again, taking a deep breath. "You smell nice," he tells you again as his hand pulls your hip a bit closer, his eyes closing as he leans his head a little more into you. "Like... lilac."

"I should hope so. I paid some good money for this perfume," you reply with a smile and lean in to give Oscar's lips a gentle kiss. They're soft and the way his hand lands behind your neck almost instinctively makes you feel safe.

Your boyfriend lets out a soft hum of agreement, his lips pressing against yours a little harder, taking the kiss in as he leans his forehead against yours. His grip tightens around you, holding you close as his hand finds your hip and squeezes ever so slightly, his fingers gently tracing the soft dip of your waistline.

You twist in his embrace to grab your phone once more and check the time, which allows Oscar's arms to snake around your waist from behind.

"Almost eight," you mutter with a sigh and rest your head on the soft mattress once more before shifting out from underneath the covers, finally stretching your arms.

"Hey, hey, where're you going?" Oscar inquiries and blinks a little in confusion, his hand reaching out to grab yours as you sit up.

"I gotta shower, baby," you sigh and swing your legs off the bed. "I still have to get ready and we need to go down for breakfast and you have to be at the track by ten."

The smile on Oscar's face falls slightly as you slip away from his embrace, his fingers wrapping around your own as you make your way out of the bed.

"But I just like being in bed with you," he complains somewhat half-jokingly, his other hand reaching out to you as he tries to stop you from escaping.

"Come on, just a bit longer," he whines and lets his head fall back onto the pillow where he lets his body sink into the mattress once more.

"You can come with me if you want," you suggest with a small smile and the most subtle of winks before turning to leave the bedroom in the direction of the bathroom.

At the mention of joining you, Oscar is wide awake, sitting up in bed with an excited smile as he watches you leave the room, his gaze following your figure before he rolls out of bed himself.

You feel a smile tugging at your lips as you take notice of the footsteps behind you and feel his strong arms wrap around your waist, his lips finding their way to your neck, knowing you did manage to make his birthday morning not so boring in the end.

[chibishortdeath]

I am in a really weird spot of life rn. Just kinda a stream of consciousness rant about things.

I’m stuck living with my parents for many reasons, mostly financial. Houses are expensive as shit and I don’t have a job. Jobs are stupid hard to find, especially because I don’t have a college degree and I’m not allowed to drive the family car. I barely leave the house.

I definitely want something to change. I’m definitely trying to make something change. But there’s always something that stops it from happening. Find a job listing for at-home work and it’s an obvious pyramid scheme. So are the next however many in the list. Find another job that’s basically a call center position where you just read a script to people and they require a certain collegiate degree. Like genuinely I’ve scrolled Indeed or whatever for anything hiring in my area and/or within what I can do and it’s primarily scams and jobs I’m not qualified for.

Want to draw something? Well there’s 5 steps you have to complete first before you can do it and now supper is ready and so is the laundry, so you don’t have enough time to do it anyway. Also if you ever post anything you’ve made, have fun trying to gamble with every website just to get more than 5 people seeing it and good luck ever making a career with those numbers and that slow pace, not that art is a viable career anymore. And then similar goes for other not job related things— want to play a video game? Nope, that’s actually too loud and too long and not the right game. Want to go outside? Not without someone accompanying you, not in this weather, not at this hour. Want to go somewhere further outside? Nope, you’re not allowed to drive the car (even though you have a license and would like to keep that important life skill). Want to watch something? Nope, that takes too long and you have to be available to be interrupted for a while. And I just don’t wanna do anything anyone in my house would disapprove of, not that I have a concrete idea of everything they disapprove of, there’s some really obvious ones like I unfortunately live with some uh Harry Potter fans if that makes sense, very unfortunately cause haha they would not like me if I was disappointing in that regard oh boy, but like I don’t wanna just go take a walk around the block and then get a ton of shit for it and end up homeless. In other words, I am not in the position to be able to fuck around and find out— 50/50 Chance the find out section is either getting disowned or, worse, still being stuck there but now with the added bonus of getting treated worse :/.

I feel like my life is a waiting room tbh. No wonder I don’t really have any drive for anything anymore, anytime I try to do something it’s shot down. Or I end up with a good chance to do something and I’m too fucking exhausted or brain fogged to take it. I’m running on like windows XP operating system man. I don’t think I’ve processed several years yet, and double clicking the MS Paint icon more times isn’t gonna make it load any faster. I genuinely feel like I am gonna be in the dust unable to catch up with anything forever, and that’s even without all the shit I’m not allowed to do lest I wanna jeopardize my living situation. It’s boring, it��s monotonous, it’s the worst shit to be stuck in when you have addictive tendencies towards maladaptive daydreaming.

Anyway in positive news, I’ve started writing again :). I haven’t since high school so it’s been pretty fun to get into that. I’ve been working on a couple fics, they’re not done cause they’ll be pretty long I think lol. One is about Reinhardt and Renon after the events of CV64 cause I had a dream about them having a conversation, idk that one’s been fun. And the other is my transformers Ocs :3, of which their ref sheet thing is almost done, I just gotta color a couple more bots. And uh hopefully these don’t end up another random project I never finish cause of reasons stated above augh.

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Girls like you

THE POOL

JJ Maybank wasn't really sure why the Y/L/N family had hired him to clean out their pool when summer started. They seemed to like him around the hotel when they went for meals but he wasn't exactly qualified, he wasn't complaining though, they tip well and it couldn't be that hard.

His only problem was Y/N.

They never got on well. She was friends with Kie in her kook year, who even went as far as to dub her 'the only kook who doesn't make me want to gauge my eyes out', so she knew the pogues from around although they'd grown apart the girls shared no bad blood and always stopped to catch up when they saw each other around.

He was in the middle of raking the leaves from the large pool when he saw her. She was crossing the garden from the large mansion, clad in a bikini with sunglasses perched on the end of her nose. JJ hates how good she looks, her curves perfectly on display and a confident aura around her.

She's got headphones in, he notices as she saunters closer.

"Hi princess," He smirks, watching as she rolls her eyes

"I'm not your princess. How long are you gonna be?" She questions, settling onto one of the sun loungers next to the pool

"An hour or so," JJ states

"Well, could you do it quietly I'm hungover and I wanna just relax," She states, slipping the second headphone back into her ear before he can reply.

He cleans, unaware of her watching him from behind the glasses as she sips on her bottle of cold water. She would never tell anyone but watching him work, his muscles tensing and untensing under his vest shirt, a light sweat from the hot summer day on his skin, she couldn't help herself from thinking he looked good.

He would definitely admit to John B that he thought she looked fit. Her breasts spilling out of her bikini top a little and the barely there thong bottom's high cut making her legs look excruciatingly long. He'd probably make some crude jokes about hate sex being way more fun. He wouldn't admit though, to finding something very comforting about her presence, and finding the way she hummed along to whatever she was listening too adorable.

It's a further 40 minutes, JJ is trying to work out how to get the pool vaccuum to turn on, when her phone rings loudly.

"Hey Sare," Her voice speaks. JJ figures quickly it's Sarah Cameron, the pair are practically inseparable and the whole island knows it.

He half listens to her side of the conversation, more out of boredom than interest.

"No, babes, I love you and all but I really don't wanna. The last million times I've seen Rafe he's been so weird and creepy and I don't wanna be alone with him,"

JJ doesn't know why the comment angers him so much. Why does he even care if Rafe is clearly trying to pull her? It's none of his business. Yet, he can feel his blood boiling at the thought.

"No Sar, if I go and you have to stay with me then you can't go and be with Topper,"

She's silent for a few minutes before sighing "Fine. Fine, I'll come. See you in a minute. Bring me some shorts, I'm in the garden and can't be arsed to go upstairs and find some. You owe me forever,"

JJ wants to scream. Wants to tell her she shouldn't go if she feels uncomfortable around Kelce. He wishes Kie were here, maybe she could talk her into staying where she felt safe.  Maybe she would be able to explain why JJ even gives a shit.

"Maybank," She states, he looks up, trying to act like he hasn't been listening. "I'm going out. You'll be the only one here," She informs

"Okay," He nods.

"My keys are on the kitchen counter, lock up when you're done and I'll just grab them from you at the hotel,"

"All right," He agrees

"When will you be there?" She questions, looking at him like he's an idiot. He groans internally, obviously she needed to know that.

"Tomorrow, 2 until closing,"

'"I'll swing by around 4," She informs. He nods, trying not to stare at her as she lets her hair down from the ponytail it had been in, shaking it out. A car honks outside and she turns, walking up the garden towards the side gates, turning a few metres away,

"Oh, there's an envelope on the kitchen counter with your tip in," She adds

"Thanks. Goodbye princess," He smiles,

"Still not your princess," she shouts back, turning and disappearing round the corner.

THE CAR

JJ felt a lot more in his element when her dad had called him asking if he could fix her car. He hadn't specified it was his eldest daughters, and JJ knew the family owned 7 cards despite only 3 of them even being able to drive.

JJ recognised it though, a white convertible porsche, he'd seen her driving it around before. Wether she was blasting music with the roof down singing with Sarah, picking up a take out from the wreck, driving around in the middle of the night, she'd even given Kie a lift to the Chateau before. He realised that he always seemed to notice her presence.

He was working in the family's garage, the bonnet popped open and grease all over him. It was an easy fix, if a little fiddly.

He jumped out of his skin when the door burst open.  He is immediately taken aback by how good she looks. Clad in a tight black skirt that is ridiculously short, heels and a tight black V neck top with a lace trim around the neck. Her hair falls in bouncy curls around her shoulders and her makeup looks perfect. He would have sworn on everything he'd never seen anyone look so beautiful.

"You're a boy," The girl states.

"Good job noticing that one princess," JJ smirks, she rolls her eyes.

"I have a date and Sarah is being so unhelpful, can you help me pick a top?" She questions, he gulps, nodding.

"Okay, so this is option 1,"

"It looks good,"

"Right. But is it sexy? Do you look at me and think I wanna slam her against a wall and rail her?"

His eyes widen a little, that's one way of putting it he decides.

"Look, I'm your families help, I shouldn't be answering that,"

"Like I care Maybank," She groans, exasperated.

"Okay fine, I look at you in that and I think I wanna rip your clothes off,"

"Okay good. Option 2," She starts. JJ is shocked when she pulls her top off in front of him, without even turning around. He turns around, although not without taking a mental picture of her boobs being pushed up in a red lace bra. "Who knew you were a prude?"

"Just respecting you princess," He comments

"You've seen me in a bikini, what's the difference?" She questions, he stays silent having no quick comment to respond with. "I'm dressed," She states

He turns back around, she looks good, a forest green top made of satin.

"The first one is sexy, that one is cute,"

"Thanks JJ, oh, and hey, thanks for fixing my car,"

"Uh. Yeah, anytime,"

THE SUMMER HOUSE

JJ was happy to paint the summer house. He claimed to his friends it was just because they way over paid and tipped big. In reality it was because for three days straight he would get to catch glimpses of her. And he did.

He saw her when she swam in her pool.

He saw her when she played in the garden with her little sister.

He saw her when she cloud gazed with Sarah Cameron.

The best times he got to see her though, were when she would bring him stuff. Every so often she'd knock on the open door to the summer house, sometimes with water, sometimes with snacks, a few times even with a beer. A couple of times she stopped and made small talk, one time she even smeared paint on his cheek and giggled as he chased her through the garden.

He enters the kitchen, used to how the family worked now. An envelope of money waiting on the kitchen counter, they always seemed to be coming and going so it was easier.

He was shocked to see her in the kitchen, she's scrolling on her phone sipping on what looks to be an iced coffee

"Oh, hey JJ," She smiles

"Hey, I'm done," he informs, she nods, watching as he picks up the envelope "So, I'll be seeing you around,"

"Did you want a lift?" She questions, he looks at her slightly confused "I just noticed your bike wasn't here and it's kinda late to be walking back. It's a long walk,"

"You really don't have to princess,"

"Honestly, it's fine," she assures, jumping up and grabbing her keys before heading towards the garage.

She wasn't sure when she stopped hating JJ Maybank, wasn't sure when she started noticing little things like the blue in his eyes and which snapback he was wearing and how tired he looked. She wasn't sure when the sight of his bike in the driveway started giving her butterflies.

"So where is your bike?" She questions, the roof of the car is down and the wind blowing through her hair as she pulls out of the private estate her home is on.

"Didn't have enough fuel to get to yours and back," He shrugs

"Why didn't you just-" She cuts herself off "Shit, I'm so sorry. That was insanely rude, I wasn't even thinking and-" He chuckles, watching as she splutters and blushes

"It's okay. Life is different on the cut I can understand how a kook princess wouldn't get it," He shrugs, she nods, still not sure what to say.

"Y'know my life isn't perfect," She comments, he scoffs, unable to help himself. "I'm not kidding. It's privileged as fuck, I know that, but it's not perfect,"

"Go on then princess, what's so shit?" He doesn't mean for it to sound so harsh, he's genuinely curious

"My parents, they have basically planned my entire life, down to where I'll go to college, what sorority I'll be in, where I'll work my summer internship, who I'll marry, where I'll get married, which big kook house I'll live in,  at what age I'll have to give up my career, which has been decided for me by them, to start trying for babies. It's 24 by the way so in 8 years. My whole life is decided and I don't want it. I wanna go on a trip around the world and surf and travel and explore. I wanna fall in love and get my heartbroken again and again until I find the right guy. I wanna live in a New York apartment and I wanna see the world. I don't wanna marry Rafe Cameron just cause our mothers are friends. I mean he's literally scary and harasses me and acts like even though I'm 16 I shouldn't have a choice cause one day he'll father my kids. And no one gets it, none of my friends, not even my best friend. The only person who ever understood why it was so shit was Kie and then she left, she left and lives her life and it's fun and exciting and anything could happen. I don't hate her for it but it fucking sucks that she left me miserable. I'll be miserable living my planned out life and then I'll die. Yeah, I have money and that's fucking great, but my life is far from perfect,"

JJ sits in a stunned silence. He's not really sure what to say. Their problems were very different but hers were just as shitty. He feels like he's seeing her in a whole new light.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't tell people that and we barely no each other," She mutters, not wanting to look at him

"Where would you go first?" His question surprised her

"On my fictitious surf trip?" She questions, he nods "Europe, Spain I think,"

They sit in silence the rest of the way, it's not awkward though, both of them feel comforted by each other presence. He gives her instructions to the chateau.

"We are probably gonna drink some beers and smoke. You wanna stay? You could crash here and drive home in the morning," JJ offers

"I can't. My family are having dinner at the hotel. Thanks though," She smiles gently

"Yeah. Uh, I hope it's not too shit. Thanks for the ride princess,"

He climbs out of the car, his friends who sit on the porch immediately calling out to him, they're all laughing and teasing him about his lift home and when he looks back he almost thinks he sees a look of longing in her eyes before she's reversing out of the chateau.

THE BOAT

"Can you fix it?" She questions. JJ Maybank has never seen her look nervous before.

It was only 6:30 AM when she'd started banging on the door to the Chateau, tears in her eyes and panic on her face hoping JJ would be here. John B had pulled the door open, half asleep and groaning a little at the bright sunlight. He'd let her into the small home and disappeared to wake JJ up. John B opted not to put too much thought into the way the minute her name was said JJ leaped out of bed and shoved into the living area, the way his hands cupped her cheeks to see if she was okay, the way he was calling her princess as he tried to calm down her hiccuping tears.

"I can fix it," He confirms. They're standing on the deck of her families boat "It's an easy fix princess, okay? don't even worry," He speaks in a comforting tone

"Thank you JJ,"

"No worries. It'll take me a while, you got anywhere to be?"

"No. Well yes, a breakfast thing with the Cameron's but it's at my house and I can't exactly show up without the boat so,"

"So you're hiding out here all day?" JJ questions

"Well, I don't wanna intrude. I can go and hang out at the beach,"

"Don't talk nonsense, you can hang here. C'mon, I need to be down the bottom with the engine, you can sit and entertain me,"

She watches intently as he works, now that he's not working at her house he hasn't bothered with a shirt, instead just wearing shorts and his infamous red baseball cap. He glances at her occasionally, her makeup streaky from crying and wearing a short white dress.

"So, wanna tell me what happened?" He questions

"Not really," She admits, he nods and she sighs before beginning to explain"Rafe wanted to go boating late and then it all went wrong and then we got the boat to the nearest dock, hence why we are in the middle of nowhere, and he said he was going to call someone to get a lift and it was rainy so I was waiting in here.  It had been a while so I went outside to check on him and he was gone. I didn't know what to do. Dad would kill me for breaking the boat, do I just kinda figured I'd walk to yours and hopefully you would no how to fix it. Then I realised I have no clue where you live so I walked to John B's and hoped for the best,"

"He just left you in the middle of nowhere alone?" JJ doesn't know why he's so mad, they were hardly even friends

"Yeah. He texted me to let me know it was cause he's already in shit with his dad and didn't wanna go down for breaking my family's boat," She shrugs, JJ wants to go and find Rafe Cameron and beat his skull in.

"Look, a girl like you deserves someone who would treat them a million times better than that,"

"I always thought you hated me," She admits

"So did I, until this summer I kinda did," He shrugs

"What changed?" She asks, the question is so vulnerable he can't help himself from looking at her

"You aren't what I thought you'd be," He admits, she nods slowly

"How should a girl like me be treated?" She questions

"Like they're the only thing on earth," He's not really sure why he's so openly telling her how he feels but it feels too late now

"Is that how you'd treat me Maybank?"

"Girls like you don't date boys like me," He shrugs, turning quickly back to what he's doing, not wanting her to recognise the disappointment on his face.

THE PARTY

It was no secret her family hosted a big formal party on the 10th of July every year, her parents wedding anniversary. JJ had waited the party the last 2 years and this summer was no different, he'd even managed to get John B and Pope a job too.

His heart had stopped when he saw her, her dress was the exact shade of blue as the sky and flowed beautifully down to her feet, her hair curled with the front pinned back, her makeup beautiful. She looked like an angel approaching him and god why did she have to look so perfect.

"Hey JJ," She smiles, grabbing a glass of champagne from the tray he's holding "Could you do me a favour?"

"Of course," He agrees, expecting some job that needed doing for the party

"If you see Rafe and I'm on my own..." She trails off "I'm trying to avoid him, after the other day,"

It's three hours into the party when JJ grabs her hand, pulling her along behind him and away from Rafe who is clearly trying to catch her alone. He pulls her into a small cupboard slamming the door closed behind him and locking it.

"What was that about?"

"Rafe," He shrugs, he didn't outwardly say he'd been watching her all night to make sure he could look out for her. He also didn't say he would have been watching her all night even if she hadn't asked him too.

"JJ, you know how your coming over next week to fix that one  door that you can't open from inside the cupboard?" She question

"Yeah," He states, peering out of the key hole to see if Rafe is still looking for her

"Well, this is the cupboard,"

"Shit!" He shouts, pulling away from the door to face her. "Shit, it's your parents wedding anniversary and I got you locked in the cupboard,"

"It's alright," She shrugs "They hate each other most the time anyway,"

"Call someone to let you out,"

"Where on this dress did you think there was pockets, you call someone,"

"My phone is in the twinkie,"

"The what?"

"John B's car," JJ sighs. "Fuck princess, I'm so sorry," He groans

"It's fine. Sarah will come looking for me eventually," She shrugs. He nods, watching as she sits down on the ground, patting the space next to her.

He obliges, sitting next to her, knees touching in the tight space.

"You look nice tonight, I like the shirt and tie," She compliments, he can feel himself blush and is glad the cupboard is dark enough she probably can't see it.

"Y'know what you said on the boat the other day?" She questions, he immediately knows what she's referring too "About how girls like me don't date boys like you,"

"Yeah," He confirms

"Why is that?" She questions quietly

"I couldn't make you happy princess. Your parents would hate me. I couldn't take you on the fancy dates you're used to. You wouldn't be happy,"

"My parents love you, they think you're resourceful and hard working. I hate the stuffy dates figure 8 boys take me on," She informs, he laughs a little at that. "Besides, you already make me happy. I'm just saying Maybank, if you don't wanna date me just say it, don't try and put it on me,"

JJ isn't really sure how to react. How to explain he desperately wanted to date her, wanted her to be his girl and wanted to shower her in love and adoration. He isn't sure how to tell her that by inadvertently telling him she wanted to date him she had made him the happiest man on earth. He's not really great with words and it all feels too hard to say.

So, instead, he turns slightly, taking her face in his hands and pulling her to him, his lips crashing against hers and somehow she knows everything he wanted to say.

[krillin-fanfic]

Chestnut Fest 2022 Week 1: For A Friend

Hello again, friends! It's that magical time of year again, and much like Shenron, I have been summoned from my slumber to grant your wishes for new story content once again.

The theme for this story? Comfort Food. Wasn't sure how I could translate that into a written work, but I think I found a way. This entry is set before Krillin and 18 are a couple, while their friendship is still budding. It's more platonic than shippy, but I think it's important to explore the planting of the seeds too! So without further ado, here we go! LINKS: FF.net AO3

It was another lovely day at Kame House. The seas were especially calm today, only light fluffy clouds on the horizon. A gentle breeze blew through, providing just enough respite from the heat of the now-setting sun.

Two figures sat at a table on the strip of beach separating the pink house from the water's edge. A woman, blonde, impossibly attractive, baggy shirt and a pair of shorts, looked at her short, bald companion with some amusement as their conversation had taken a rather unexpected turn.

"Comfort... food? I don't get it."

Krillin's cocked his head slightly. "Huh? What's not to get?"

18 tilted her head. "How is food comfortable? You eat it, you don't use it like furniture or clothing."

He chuckled. "No, not comfortable, comforting. It means foods that give off a sort of comforting or nostalgic vibe." He held up his index finger. "Now some people like to try to put it in a box and say "comfort foods" can only be certain kinds of food, usually fatty or decadent things," he smiled and closed his eyes. "But I happen to be in the camp that thinks that any food that really takes you back to a happy place in life qualifies."

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Sounds weird to me."

"Eh, it's just all tied to memories, I suppose." He looked up at the blue sky. "I still remember the day I found mine. It was after the 21st Budokai. Me and Goku had both lost to this weird Jackie Chun guy that somehow knew all our moves, but Master Roshi still bought us a big ol' meal afterwards for doing so well. A whole buffet right at our table!"

18's brows raised a bit. "...You mean Goku had that much himself, right?"

Krillin scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well... I wish I could say that but, uh... I kinda ate almost as much as he did, being honest." He giggled. "We'd been fighting all day, I got stupid hungry, and the food was so good!" She saw his eyes light up as he remembered. "There was roast pork, lo mein, baozi, duck... I'd never eaten that well in my entire life. They never really gave us more than unseasoned rice and vegetables at Orin, and I didn't have any money when I was on my own, so getting to experience that..." he smiled. "And now, that's sorta become my own comfort food, I guess."

18 fiddled with a loose strand of hair. "Ah. Sounds... nice."

Krillin tapped lightly on the tabletop next to his baseball cap. "So you're saying you don't have any food-related memo-" her eyes shot in his direction and he stopped himself. "Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry..."

"I guess..." she spoke, her voice barely audible over the waves lapping at the beach. "I guess maybe I have... one."

Krillin sat forward in his seat, hands folded on the table in front of him. It was rare to see 18 this quiet. Almost... vulnerable. The least he could do is give her his full attention.

"Yeah? Do you mind sharing, or...?"

"It was when I was with 17 and 16. When we were..." she paused to consider her choice of words. "...traveling together. You know..."

Krillin nodded. That topic was still a bit of an elephant in the room for them, neither entirely sure how to address it yet. "Yeah, I get you."

She twirled the strand of hair a bit harder. "We took a truck then. 17's boneheaded idea. 'Make it fun', he said, 'go on a road trip, see the sights'..." she smiled. "He was always chasing being human again, even as he insisted we were above them now. After 16 cleared it out, we took off on the road and after a while, the raido? Monotonous." She glared. "I swear, if I ever wind up in a place that plays nothing but that annoying guitar twanging all day, I'm ending it right there and then."

He chuckled. "I can relate. Being stuck with only one sort of music can be grating."

"Yeah... anyways... we thought everything had been cleared out, right? All the food? But it turned out 16 found a few loose items that had gotten out and rolled around back there behind the seats. Fruits. Not many, but a couple. Two of them were common enough. An orange and a banana. 17 snatched those up himself. But there was another that 16 gave me." Her brow wrinkled a bit. "It must have been fiarly uncommon, given we had no information about it. It was colorful. Like a deep pink on the outside, with these... leaves almost, coming off the skin. The fruit inside was white, with seeds. I remember it having a very light sort of taste, almost barely there." She smiled. "I remember 17 sitting there with a big wedge of that orange in his mouth, pulling faces at me... 16 smiling in the back..." 18 thinned her lips for a moment. When she next spoke, Krillin could hear the shakiness in her voice. "It... it was the last time it felt like things were almost 'normal' for me. Like we were almost... family." She let go of her hair and covered her face with her palm. "God, that sounds so dumb..."

Krillin shook his head and waved his hands nervously in front of himself. "No, not at all! Believe me. I may not, y'know... 'get it', but I do get it." He sighed. "I'm such a wordsmith. I just mean that... I may not get that exact scenario. I know I haven't been through what you guys have, and I'm not trying to suggest that... but I do know that feeling. It's actually... a lot like the one I felt at that table that day at the Budokai."

18 turned toward him again. "Really now?"

"Yeah. It was like... Like I had friends now. Like a sort of a family. I had people who cared, who were happy for me, proud of me for a change." He put a hand up. "Again, not saying it's the same as your sitch at all. But the feeling is the same. That stays with you."

18 pursed her lips and gazed up at the sky for a bit before letting her head fall back with a groan. "Well, it's not like I'll be experiencing that 'nostalgia' thing any time soon anyways. Even if I bought into the idea." She stood up and pointed at him. "Which, to be clear, I still don't." She brushed stray sand off her legs quickly and started back inside the small house. " Don't even know what that stuff was called anyways..."

Krillin sat at the table, hands folded on its top, deep in thought. When she'd first come here, seeking shelter and answers, he'd promised her he'd help her adjust to human life. Said that he'd help her get back what that sick old man had stolen from her. This? This was part of that. He nodded to himself. 'Right. Let's get it done.'

He stood, put on his cap, took a deep breath, and without a word floated off into the air, headed due north.     ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say Krillin was exhausted was an understatement. He landed a bit hard, panting, next to one of the only 24-hour groceries he could find. For the last six hours, he'd flown around, desperately trying to find a fruit that had matched 18's description, starting up north where that truck had been... acquired. Every stop had been the same answer. "Never heard of a fruit like that." "You sure your friend didn't dream it up?" "That sounds wild, man. Let me know if you find it."

He'd gotten halfway to Satan City before a farmer in one of the shops proved helpful. "Oh, I've heard of that stuff, friend! You're in the wrong place. It grows in more tropical areas down south!"

The tropics. Where he'd started. The irony wasn't lost on Krillin as he caught his breath near the shop entrance. 'I just hope this one actually has what I'm looking for,' he thought to himself. 'I've been all over the region and so far no luck.'

He pushed the door open and was greeted by a portly older man in overalls. "Welcome! How can I help you tonight?"

Krillin gestured back toward the fairly large produce section. "Can you tell me if you carry a certain fruit? It's about the size of my fist, has a deep pink color, what looks like leaves growing out of the skin?"

The shopkeeper blinked a few times before smiling. "Ah, yes! I know the fruit you mean. I believe we sold the last of that on the shelves earlier today." He saw Krillin's face drop and he frowned. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I can check our stock in the back if you like. It's very popular in the area but we may still have some."

He looked up, hopeful. "Please! It would mean a lot!"

"Very well, hold on." The man strolled from behind the register toward the doors in the back. "Shouldn't take more than a moment!"

It wasn't long before he returned with a small crate and a large smile. "Good news, sir! I believe we do indeed still have five in stock here!"

Krillin beamed. "Oh, thank you so much! How much are they?"

The shopkeeper plopped the crate onto the counter and tapped away at the register. "Hmmm... says here we're looking at 600 Zeni apiece."

Krillin blanched. "D-did you say 600?"

"Yes sir." He smiled. "Each. Dragon fruit don't grow too often and given the popularity..."

"Yeah, yeah. I get-wait..." Krillin raised an eyebrow. "They're called dragon fruit? Seriously?"

"Yessir!" The shopkeeper looked confused. "Is that surprising to you?"

"No... no at this point I almost expect everything in my life to be connected to dragons somehow." He fished the cash out of his wallet. "So... 3000 Zeni, huh?"     ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"18! Can you... come down here for... a sec... hooo boy..."

A groggy 18 made her way down the dark stairs at Kame House and found a rather disheveled (and tired Krillin sprawled on the couch, barely visible in the light of the desk lamp. "Hey there... so... don't wanna get your hopes up but-"

"What happened to you?"

"I'm... getting there... hoo." He sat up and held up a bag. "I decided that you needed to catch a rather integral part of the human experience so... I tried to track down that fruit you were talking about."

18 hesitantly reached forward and took the bag. She peered inside it and froze. There it was. That same fruit. The very same one 16 had given her on their trip.

"I'm not... super sure it's the right one... but the guy at the store said it matched the description... so I got some." He smiled, his breath finally evening out. "Would you believe they were actually native to near here after all? Boy, did I ever get off on the wrong track... I think I need... a nap."

She slowly took one from the bag and split it with little effort. There it was, the white flesh dotted with so many seeds, sharply contrasted against the pink skin. She tentatively took a bite.

In that instant, those memories came flooding back, vivid as ever. That feeling she'd felt... it was back, if only for a moment. And suddenly, 18 understood.

"Oh... wow." She looked over at Krillin. "I guess I was-" she was halted by a deep snore. Krillin had passed out there on the couch, out like a light, hat dangling from his foot off the end of it. She smiled and grabbed a coat, using it to cover him up. "You really are a weird little man," she noted, gently rubbing his shoulder. "But I guess you're a really good friend, too."

18 reached over and switched off the lamp before heading upstairs to bed. She'd have to remember to thank him in the morning. But for now... she had a lot to think about.

[three-eyed-cat]

This post is...kinda weird to make. In anyway I'm not invalidating anyone & just talking of my own experience w a suspicion of DID/OSDD

First of all, disclaimer - a therapist of mine, told me he had a suspicion of one of these disorder. I am not claiming to have one of them at all, I'm waiting to go to an actual professional that works with dissociative disorder before claiming to have anything! I also want to say- never talked about any head mates or anything to my therapist - just told him my experience with dissociation, without even mentioning it was dissociation (i was not sure therefore i didn't want to tell him that it was that, as I'm not a professional). Also! My experience is not something to steal & tell to your therapist to get a dissociative diagnostic. I just wanna talk about my own experience with dissociation & possible DID/OSDD.

Now, what did i tell him?

I simply told him, sometimes, i forget everything. I'm at the back of my brain, in a dark room, not able to see through my eyes. I can feel my body but in a weird way, in a blurry way. In a way where, my body does the basic tasks it needs to do to survive. My body and mouth try to socialize, seems normal, but i have no idea how what's going on. It only happens when I'm under really stressing circumstances. When i get out of it, I'm kinda lost. I know where I am, but it feels like i was not there for the longest time possible. It's like i was blocked at the moment where i was still there before going to the back of my brain, and the last 5 minutes before i went to my brain are playing over and over again while I'm not there. I have no ideas if that makes sense. It's a weird ass sensation, but i had that for the longest time i can remember of. Just, I'm not there anymore. My body is in automatic mode, then i wake up and i have control over everything again.

It's a really weird experience that i was scared to talk about for the longest time, before i met my actual psychiatrist. I was scared of it, because while on my dissociative state, people told me i was different. I acted like i didn't know them that much, or i changed my way of speaking, and yeah. Personally, i don't wanna advance on if it's DID/OSDD or not. I'm not qualified to diagnose myself (self dx is fine! As long as you do correct research and don't take all your information out of some carrd), and i personally truly think it's just some dissociation where my body goes in automatic mode, and just, change bc it needs to do the bare minimum to survive & seems normal.

There was a lot to unpack after this appointment, it was a really hard appointment. So, he diagnosed me with a dissociative disorder (NOT DID/OSDD! just dissociation), highly suspected some PTSD as he told me i had a very strong form of dissociation, and that i was practically always trauma responding to everyone & everything (I'm not sure if that makes sense tbh, so I'm not advancing myself either on if i have PTSD or not- yes I'm trauma responding a lot, but i honestly think it was a misdiagnosis, but I'm continuing to see him and we'll figure that out), and he told me about the possible DID/OSDD related to my possible PTSD.

At first, i was scared asf. I do not want to have DID/OSDD, i have friends with diagnosed DID/OSDD, and i know how bad they're struggling. I never understood people wishing to have these disorder, it's not some kind of funny roleplay, it's truly something's that is super hard to deal with. I was so scared, that i was dissociating. I can't really remember what happened at all.

In second, i decided to accept my dissociation. With or without DID/OSDD, i have a dissociative disorder. I can forget hours, days, months, years of my life, just by being to the back of my brain. It's still scary asf, but i accepted it. With or without a certain disorder, I'll still have a disorder.

Sometimes i get scared, bc i feel like someone there and I'm having conversations with my inner voice. But never, the terms "alter" or "headmates" comes in the conversation. It's just, some funky little conversation with my inner dialogue (it's not funky at all, i absolutely hate it)

But now, here's come what my friends told me when I was dissociating. I act, completely different. not in a "I'm doing the bare minimum to survive", in a way where I just totally change and i still act like a person, but differently. I apparently talk about experience i can't remember when I'm not dissociating. They told me, that it was fine. Whenever it was just a random dissociative disorder or DID/OSDD, i didn't have to act like it wasn't there. That, i could just go with it the way i always went with it, by being in the back of my brain when I'm under high stress. And it helped a lot! Because, when you scared of having a disorder, you usually either go in full denial, or convince yourself you have it to feel legitimate. But the easiest way to go through a suspicion of a disorder, is honestly, just continuing your life like you always did. Ofc, talk about ur symptoms to a professional, because a diagnosis will always help you , to figure yourself out & to deal with it.

I promise, living your life without asking you much questions about whenever you have the disorder or not, helps so so much, and make you realize that having a (future) diagnostic won't change everything drastically. You just have to live your life like you always did, DID/OSDD or not, don't pressure yourself about whenever you have it or not! Just- stay like you always did, doubt or denial wont help you.

//- i hope nothing was offensive in this post, sorry it's a long post. I just needed to get my experience with dissociation and a suspicion of DID/OSDD out on somewhere. Please - no hate, fakeclaim, or anything mean in the comments/repost. Feel free to speak about your experience on there tho, I'll be sure to read every single one of them. Also don't invalidate anyone's experience. Please take all care, systems and non systems, and drink water!

[antiloreolympus]

14 Anti LO Asks

1. To the one anon: good question - how is it that the mortals dont know who Persephone is / assume she is a minor goddess and therefore its okay to mess with her but the gods (or Olympians / underworld denizens) know exactly everything about her (despite her being there only every so often and only being 20ish) - enough to say shes "wearing her signature white color" during a murder trial.

Also the reason why Persephone is wearing white is because

A). RS wanted persephone to always be "dressed as a bride" (and have Hades dressed as a groom respectively) to show that their matching / is supposed to be a visual cue that their eventually gonna be together.

B). I believe this is RS way of saying that Persephone (despite murdering some mortals) is innocent because in purity culture White = innocence, virginity, youth etc. (Even though RS explicity ssid she wanted to go against purity culture morals shes very much leaning into them). 

2. why are Psyche’s eyes yellow even in her human form? Is she sick??

3. honestly? LO is just gossisp girl at this point, espect even GG (at least in the first season) bothered to saturze the rich and was calling out how wealth and power makes them corrupt assholes. meanwhile LO is just GG season 2 and on of being like no no, the poor people are the evil people and the rich people are the oppressed ones! all while also fawning over their  wealth and status and being way into grown men wanting to bang barely legal teens and claiming to be "feminist" somehow.

4. Tumblr is well-known for broken tag system. Check the post' tags before complaining that it's op's fault. How about you guys not tag greek mythology when posting about LO? LO is not one-shot or short fancomic. It's also definitely not considered actual greek mythology. LO is years long webcomic with huge fans. LO has its own tag. Tell your fellow fans to stop using the greek mythology tag.

5. I would argue nyx is the only woman with a unique in design in LO but thats only because she looks like a deformed chicken woman. why was my night mom disrespected this much 😭

6. So now that LO is back from break and I can finally read chapter 170 - Why oh Why do ALL the female characters Have to be defined by their male love interests??? (Or really just love interests in general).

I understand LO qualifies as the "romance" genre and there are certain stipulations or I guess themes or what have you that make it romance but for f*cks sake.

Psyche being worried about Eros loving the "fake" her I kinda get, but really? Thats your most pressing concern?? Hera is defined by her garbage marriage to Zeus - King of the gods (of which is why she is Queen of the gods). Hestia + Athena are now defined solely by their relationship to each other (not the TGOEM or their respective traits of being a goddess of the hearth + goddess of war, strategy etc etc).

Aphrodite is defined by giving Persephone "relationship" advice (e.g: telling her to curb stomp Minthe because "nymphs dont take things from gods" - doubly implying that people are things to own) And by her jealousy of Persephone in the first place because Hades made a comment about how he thought Persephone was prettier than her. And also because of her "house of debauchery" (Artemis'  words) - and relationship with Ares.

Persephone is defined both by Apollo raping her and by her fated future status as Queen of the underworld (so her relationship with Hades). Hell, even the minor characters such as nymphs are defined by this relationship status / standard. Minthe is defined by her mean spirited personality yes, but Also because of her abusive relationship with Hades prior to the introduction of Persephone. Psyche is defined by her relationship woes with Eros. Daphne is defined by her relationship with Thanatos (and because shes a flower nymph) but also mostly because she looks like Persephone.

Rhea is defined by her marriage / relationship to Kronos (lets ignore the whole "fertility goddess power" plot for a second). Even Aetna is defined by Haphestus creating her! Is there not a single character (especially female) is isnt defined by their romantic love interest???Sorry. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but thats definitely how ot comes off as of late, in regard to the latest chapters.

Okay, same anon as earlier - I take it back somewhat - we have Artemis and Hecate that are not defined by their romantic relationships - but rather their lack of one.

However the way they are shown - it still comes off as a standard - "Artemis is stingy / a stick in the mud" because shes not romantically involved and is "barbaric" (according to Hera). And Hecate is still somewhat defined by her being Hades' employee (and cheerleader for him and Persephone to be together).

So technically yes, we have at least 2 characters that are not defined by their romantic interests / relationships, but they are still held to the standard of their "un-ladylike / undesirable" because their not romantically involved.

(I guess I should count Demeter, but only because shes more defined by just being "Persephone's overbearing mom" )

7. i think whats also kinda weird about this trial is like?? persephone is obvs framed as not liking the attention (bc duh) but she didnt like the previous press either, she wanted to be private, but wouldnt being with hades force her to be in the spotlight that makes her uncomfortable? also the citizens of the underworld already dislike hades, why would they want a uncontrollable felon as their queen, even if she found innocent? idk the whole thing just makes the endgame less plausible, tbh.

8. love that rachel was able to find a random deity name to name her random nymph the greek word for "beans" meanwhile apparently cant google actual greek names for even one off characters? like andrew, ellen, george, alexis, damian, luke, phoebe, sophia, and so any other english names are also greek, but she cant even bother with that? what exactly is her "research" if she cant even bother to spend 30 seconds googling greek names? at this point LO seems determined to be as un-Greek as possible.

9. wait so everyone in LO went from having no idea who persephone was, to her only showing up on ONE magazine cover, to now being the most well known person with a signature color? all in the span of two weeks with no genuine public outings? how does that make sense? also white isnt even her signature color if 90%+ the female cast and even a lot of the men ((including ZEUS) all wear it too.

10. the fact the courthouse WASNT the areopagus, aka the place in greece where they say the first ever trial ever happened and where the court system was invented, is just another point of rachel talking out her ass about being "respectful" or "researched" on greece and their mythology. its literally one of the most famous mythology spots ever with some fantastic stories to it and she's just like "nah! boring rectangle will do!" like why even both with mythology then if its this devoid of it?

11. Anons are saying Hades in the FS chapter is leaning down and talking to Persy like a child. Say it aint true.

(I wanna see. I thought RS was finally giving Persy adult proportions). 😨

12. So wait, hold up. I kinda get where RS is coming from with the law school in the underworld (because Hades is supposed to be a kinda Judge, jury, executioner situation in the afterlife when it comes to mortals and their "punishments" and whatnot). However, is RS stating that the ONLY law school / courthouse exists in the underworld? If so, why? Why wouldn't Athena be there then. She's a goddess of strategy and justice (among other things).

Also is RS really implying that Hades owns not only the banks and underworld but the law too? She really wants Hades to be a Gary Sue along side her Mary Sue - Hades controls everything that matters and since its his realm and blah blah blah rules, Zeus, king of the gods cant do anything about it.

(Which is dumb. Because you would think that because Persephone committed the crime in the mortal realm / on, or near Olympus that therefore she would be brought back there to dole out justice under Zeus jurisdiction because she committed the crime in His Realm). 

13. FP Spoiler ahead:

Why on earth couldn't the reporters have Greek names? There is so much wrong and bad with this story, yet this irks me so much. It is Brenda all over again.

14. i dont really get the point of the trial plotline, tbh. even persephone says she should be punished and held accountable, but hades is framed in the right for trying to go against that and weasel her out of it. so?? plus zeus has legit reason to punish them? persephone is a danger to others, demeter and hermes both committed treason to cover it up, and hades was harboring a fugitive of the law and is now trying to force the system to let her go. how is zeus in the wrong for this?

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 006

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: kinda fluff ig

authors note: sorry it’s short but it’s more of a filler 🤪 im trying to get back to writing:)

“what are you doing today?” jungkook asked as i was getting ready for the therapy session later that day.

“therapy, remember?” i chuckle, braiding my hair.

“obviously i meant after,” he laughs. i roll my eyes, shaking my head.

“obviously,” i chuckle.

“so, what are you doing AFTER therapy?” he giggles.

“coming home and sleeping. why?” i scoff, tying off the simple French braid. i pick up the phone and walked over to my bed, slipping on my black zip up that was probably two sizes too big, but offered succor consistently.

“how about, instead of that, you come with me,” jungkook says. i knew he was smiling, like he was proud of himself, which made me smile in return.

“care to elaborate more?” i said.

“ah, it has to be a surprise. but don’t worry, you’ll be safe with me,” he says. and now i know for a fact he is donning a shit eating grin.

“people who say that always say it before they lead others into their impending doom,” i chuckle, shaking my head.

“do you really think i would put you in harm's way?” he says, feigning hurt.

“i don’t know, considering last week you tried to push me into my neighbor's bush, i would say yes,” i tease. i heard him gasp dramatically which produced more fits of laughter.

“i told you, i was testing a theory! and i did try to warn you. how did i know you had weak reflexes?” jungkook huffed.

“kook, yelling gibberish isn’t much of a warning,” i say through my laughter. my laughter slowly dies when there’s silence on the other end.

“did you hang up on me?” i ask, laughing again.

“sorry, i was giggling like a school girl because of the nickname you gave me,” he openly admits. i chuckle in return and roll my eyes again.

“i feel like kook barely qualifies as a nickname,” i say.

“don’t you dare call me anything else. i will only answer to kook from now on,” jungkook huffs, eliciting more laughter.

“ah, but what if i wanted to call you something else?” i say, a teasing edge to my tone.

“l-like what?”

“i don’t know, i’ve always thought you looked like a cute little bunny. maybe bun? or maybe even baby boy, since you are younger than me,” i say, further teasing him.

“you’re teasing and it’s not fair because you know i have a fat crush on you,” jungkook whines. i snicker and lay back on my bed.

“anyways bun, i gotta get going but i’ll see you at the session,” i smile, my eyes jumping around to random objects in my room.

“you never answered my question,” he mumbles, a definite pout on his lips.

“yes jungkook, i will go out with you,” i chuckled.

“two things. one, i’m bun. two, this isn’t a date. trust me, i wanna plan our first date out beforehand,” he states proudly.

“how do you know i’d say yes to a date?” i chuckle. we both knew i was joking because of course i would say yes to the boy who started to burrow his way into my everyday thoughts.

“you said yes to hanging out with me today, didn’t you?” he smirks, causing me to roll my eyes for the umpteenth time during our conversation.

“goodbye jungkook.”

“that’s baby boy to you.”

-

the session seemed to go as it normally did. everyone talking about their week and what they did to self improve in some way. as usual, namjoon waited until the very end to bring me up to the front.

“uhm, hi again,” i awkwardly chuckle. this elicited the crowd to chuckle with me, jungkook and yoongi’s snickers louder than the rest. i glared over at them, shoving my hands into my pocket.

“i guess, this week was a bit of an eye opener. i spoke to a close friend… about.. ya know. and i guess it was the first time somebody told me about… about that night. it was weird, ya know. you would think after doing it so many times, anything to do with it would brush right off. but… this was different. the hurt in his voice. how prominent the memory was… i guess i never really thought about the idea of someone else holding onto that pain despite me letting go of it. it just gave me a lot to think about…” i trailed off, noticing how my gaze was locked on the floor as i recounted the memory that was still fresh of hobi crying to me about the thought of losing me. it’s been bugging me since he told me and i couldn’t figure out why. i had come to the conclusion that maybe sharing it would get it off my mind. and oddly enough, there was a little release of pressure off of my chest, that i could breathe a bit easier.

“wow, thank you so much yn for sharing that. and you’re right. in our time of agony, we convince ourselves that we’re the only ones who ever really feel that pain. but pain knows no bounds. and neither does love.”

[out-of-control]

SCENE

words: 1179

warnings: drug ment/overdose ment (past)

summary: Jim misses playing shows.

Jax and Jim started going to shows together again a few months into sobriety– harrowingly, at first, but as long as they have each other there to keep them in line, everything goes alright. Or, if it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be alright, they can call it an early night and go get some cheesecake instead.

Playing shows, however; that’s a whole different animal. Jim can’t roll with the crowd he used to anymore. He learned that the hard way. He hasn’t seen any of his old “show buds” for a year now. Somewhere, deep inside himself, he wonders if he’s meant for it anymore. After all, he’s got a job, he’s got a roof over his head, he’s got a stable relationship, and never before in his life could he have said any of those. But, as dedicated he is to staying sober, he can’t kid himself and say it hasn’t felt like losing a limb. Maybe two. He misses the stage a lot. A lot a lot. Jax told him to play just for him, audience of one, but Jim thought that was stupid, told him to get his guitar and play with him instead. It’s been helping, for sure, their two-man band sessions, but it goes without saying that it’s just not the same.

—

Tonight at the Pross, the lineup– so he’s told, consists of all straight edge bands, and it is packed. Jax has his work cut out for him, as Jim gets to sit back and watch the sea of people ebb and flow from behind the counter. He’s heard of a few of the bands before, vaguely, but they sound… good. Really good. Way better than he was expecting, for how little he’s heard of them. Jim feels his chest ache.

It’s a slow night for the bar; obviously, but pretty hilariously. Jim and Anna crack jokes at each other about putting the self-serve water station away just to give them something to do. Jim always kinda made fun of the edge guys, but he supposes he qualifies as one now. He agonizes a little over whether or not he should introduce himself to the bands, feeling weird about it, out of his element. He hasn't done that in a long time, and he isn’t really Mr. Hot Shot Bassist anymore.

The house lights go on, the crowd files out, and Jim tidies up behind the counter for closing as the bands load out their gear. “Jim?” a voice comes, a little ways away, and Jim turns to look, combing his pink hair back with his fingers. He meets a pair of eyes, and suddenly he finds his heart lodged in his throat, as the studded vest-clad woman straightens and moves closer. “What the fuck, really?”

Jim feels weirdly defensive, hackles raised. “What?” he blurts out.

She pauses. “It’s Pennie, remember?”

“I know,” Jim says cautiously, suddenly realizing he sounds like an asshole. 

“Just-” She looks him up and down, like she’s looking at a ghost. He’s probably barely recognizable anymore. The scars are kind of a dead giveaway, though. “I heard you were dead, dude. You looked like fucking shit the last time I saw you, and then you just disappeared. And now you’re just here, like a year and a half later?”

Jim blinks. Right. “Oh.”

An awkward silence hangs between them. “It uh… it scared me sober, Jim,” Pennie says then, eyebrows knitting together. “Or at least helped get me to that point. You were kind of a big deal around here, you know. Everyone knew you. But,” She gestures vaguely at him, and smiles a little. “Word of mouth’s a bitch, I guess. Kinda worked in my favor, though.”

“What?” Jim blurts, again, and huffs out a nervous laugh, brain on the verge of overloading. One of his old drug buddies is here. And she’s sober. Because of Jim. Who is also sober. People knew about him. People still think he’s dead. People cared about him being apparently dead. People cared about him. 

“I mean, you could play in any fucking band on the spot, and you did, and you were good at it.” She wrinkles her nose. “Were. I mean, I’m sure you still are.” she laughs. “Sorry.”

“Fucking Christ,” Jim grits out, something in her laugh making him aware about the full-body tension he’s holding, and he shakes his head. “Sorry, this is just, a lot to take in?”

“Oh, sure, this is a lot for you,” Pennie teases, reaching over the counter and nudging his shoulder, giving him a sunny grin. “What the fuck, man. You’re alive! You have a job! Have you just been hiding out here this whole time?” her expression shifts to something more pensive. “You didn’t quit playing bass, did you?”

“Well,” he says weakly, glancing down at a container of lime wedges for a second, clears his throat. Where to fucking start. “I’ve been… I guess, yeah. I started here at the beginning of February. Got a boyfriend. Got a job.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, tries to be casual about taking a quick breath. Christ, this is weird to talk about, here, now. “I did overdose, that was– that did happen. Had a reckoning or whatever, got clean. Took a couple tries, but. Here I am.” he smiles a little, awkwardly. “I haven’t been gigging, though, no. I still play, just– try to keep myself sane.”

“Look at you,” Pennie leans on the bar, propping her chin on her hand, looking weirdly proud over a guy she barely knows anymore. He supposes she gets what a big deal it is, though. “Glad you’re still around. It’s good to see you.”  

“Thanks,” Jim says quietly, relaxing his shoulders. “It’s… good to see you too.” He means it, which is crazy, because he never thought of an instance where he wouldn't be filled with dread over running into one of his old acquaintances again. Though, people can change, for the better, clearly. He and Jax are proof of that.

“Do you want to play shows again?” she circles back to. “‘Cause– shit, you are one talented motherfucker, you know that?”

“I don’t know,” Jim says, wincing a little. “The scene was… hard on me. I had to get away from it all, y’know?”

She tilts her head. “Well, that’s ‘cause you were in the wrong scene, bud.” Jim raises an eyebrow at her, and she points her thumb over her shoulder, back at the empty venue. Jim switches to furrowing his brow. He misses playing shows. He really does. But... he remembers how it went the last time.

“How about this,” Pennie says, watching his face journey. “Give me your number, and I’ll let you know when I have gigs coming up. Come on out– if you want– I’ll introduce you to some friends, you can feel it out, okay?”

Jim stands there hesitating, wearing a pained expression, rubbing the inside of his wrist. Inhale. “Sure. Okay.” he says, and she fishes her phone out of her pocket.

—

[drarryruinedme7]

kinktober, day 8. medical kink

To @rockmarina 💓 I’m sorry, this is nothing like you wanted (I don’t know why it’s so fluffy xD), but I couldn’t resist! If you dislike doctor/patient dynamic, well, you’re warned. Happy reading! thanks @malenkayacherepakha for the beta. 

“Healer Malfoy?” Kutch enters Draco’s office without even knocking. Typical.

Technically, he’s Draco’s boss so he can do whatever he wants to. But still. 

“Yes, boss?” They both hate it when Draco calls him that. It makes Draco say it even more.

“I have a special patient for you. Look, I wouldn’t have sent him to you, ever.” He accompanies the words with a scowl. “But it looks fairly important and—” Kutch takes a deep breath. “You’re the most qualified at the moment.” 

Draco rolls his eyes. “Was it really that hard to say?”

“Yes,” Kutch quickly replies. “He’ll come in with a disguise. Call me only if extremely necessary, I’m needed elsewhere. And Malfoy?”

Draco only barely resists the temptation to sneer. 

“Treat him well.”

With that, Kutch exits Draco’s office and Draco can finally let out all the very elegant expletives he was thinking. Treat him well. As if, after more than ten years of service, Draco would still need such advice. 

“Err, excuse me?” 

Draco looks up from his desk to see a medium-height bloke, green eyes, sharp jaw. Draco vaguely registers that there’s something familiar about him.

“Hello, please come in and close the door,” Draco says, professional voice and polite smile in place. He can be kind, thank you very much. 

The bloke enters Draco’s office, carefully sitting on the chair in front of him. Draco keeps smiling, hoping it will reassure him. 

“Feel free to drop your glamour when you feel like it. What should I call you?”

“Er.” The bloke shifts on the chair, looks around with clipped movements. “Gods, I can’t. It’s too weird. You’re weird, too polite.”

Draco blinks. “Excuse me, you don’t want me to be polite?”

“It would surely make this look more normal.” The man sighs, scratches at the back of his neck. “Well, I guess…” He waves a hand and his glamour starts to dissipate.

Ill-mannered and a show-off. What, only because the guy can wordlessly and wandlessly control his magic—

“Potter!?” Draco blurts out before regaining control of himself.

Potter grimaces, eyes apologetic. “When they told me you were the best I almost laughed in their faces. But… I really need help, and this is the first time I—”

With a grunt, Potter breaks off, bending over at the waist, head clunking on Draco’s desk. He convulses violently, and his hands disappear into his lap, clutching at it desperately. 

“What...? Potter, can you hear me?” Draco stands up to quickly reach Potter’s side, touching his shoulder lightly. 

Potter’s breathing has sped up like crazy and he keeps making these small sounds… Draco feels heat rush to his cheeks. The sounds Potter’s making are all too similar to mewls, to the sounds someone should make when sprawled on a bed, getting the best fuck of their life.

“Potter?” Draco asks again, voice rough. He straightens, taking his hand off Potter’s shoulder. He can’t believe he’s letting himself be this unprofessional, never mind with Potter of all people.

“Christ,” Potter murmurs, straightening. His face is flushed, eyes dazed. He does look as if he’s just been shagged. 

Damn it.

“‘m sorry,” he continues. He’s not looking at Draco and his hands still haven’t left his lap. “You can laugh at me. I… have these episodes. It’s been two months already, I’ve stopped going out, practically secluded myself in my house, because, err…”

“I’ll never laugh at one of my patients, P— Harry,” Draco says, leaning against his desk. “Can you describe to me what you feel during these episodes?”

Potter bites on his bottom lip, looking at Draco’s eyes briefly before dropping his gaze. “I— it’s… I orgasm.” 

There’s a tense silence as Draco registers Potter’s words. He internally shouts, struggling to maintain composure externally. “You...” Draco takes a deep breath. “Are you telling me you have spontaneous orgasms?”

He’s never once in his medical career, come across such a case. Of course, it would happen with Potter and of course, Draco couldn’t just let go of his stupid school crush on him and had kept wanking to thoughts of him over the years.

This will make his work all so much easier. Great.

Potter sighs, then nods. Draco shakes his head. He has to treat him like any other patient. 

“Alright,” he says. “Alright. Can you tell me how often you have these… episodes?” 

“Per day?” He asks, furrowing his brows. 

“You have them daily? Wait, you have them more than once a day?!” Draco’s sure his voice has gotten several octaves higher, and that this is the exact opposite of ‘professional’ and ‘treat him well’, but fuck. Fuck!

Potter winces. 

“I’m sorry,” Draco quickly amends. “Really, I don’t... It’s just a new case for me too. Please, go on.” 

Potter scrunches his nose up at him but takes a deep breath as he starts biting his lips again. “At first it was only, like, maybe a couple of times a week? Mostly at evenings or nights, that’s why I brushed them off. I thought, I don’t know… late-blooming, or something.” He scratches at his nape. “Err, but then they increased. I’d say I have them, like, six to seven—”

Potter’s hands fly to the armrests of the chair, gripping them for dear life. He shuts his eyes and his entire body goes rigid. Draco should really, really avert his eyes right now but he finds himself frozen on the spot, watching as Potter’s lips open in moans and his hips stutter as he comes. Again. 

When he opens his eyes this time, they’re even more glazed, perspiration all over his face. “See,” he says with a small voice and Draco’s chest constricts. He has a patient, an embarrassed patient, who’s struggling in front of him and all Draco can do is get steadily harder. “That’s why I stopped going out or working. It’s just so random and it keeps happening without no warning, I’m…” He inhales deeply. “I’m so exhausted, all the time. All my muscles ache.” 

Draco nods, clearing his throat. “I agree, you need to regain control over your life. If you feel comfortable, I’d ask you to lie on that stretcher.” 

Potter hums, standing to reach the stretcher. He lies down, eyes glossed with tears. 

“Look, if you need someone else or you aren’t comfortable—”

“Nothing like that,” Potter says. His voice is thick, but he smiles. “It’s just… the other Healers I saw, they laughed at me and told me I was crazy to want to get rid of such a pleasurable condition. I’m just happy you’re taking it seriously.”

Draco’s cock is aching with how hard it is but he smiles, hoping the scrubs will hide it. This is seriously messed up. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I really want to help you. I’ll run some tests now, okay? Just tell me when it tingles, tickles or hurts.”

Draco takes out his wand. “Ready?” 

When Potter nods Draco starts casting diagnostic spells of all kinds. He has to stop another three times before he can finally understand what’s happening.

By the end of it, Potter’s not the only one who’s panting. Draco’s cock is crying for release, keeps twitching and pulsing, balls tight as he watches Potter’s face scrunch up in pleasure and his mouth open in bliss. 

It’s all too erotic. “Okay, Harry,” Draco says finally. Potter must have felt Draco’s arousal because he turns to look at him with wide eyes, just that little more focused at Draco’s rough voice. Draco clears his throat. “Erm. I’m 99% sure I know what’s wrong.”

Potter blinks, brings a hand to his hair, trying to adjust it. It only looks messier. Fuck, the level of testosterone in the room must be so high Draco’s not sure he’s not intoxicated. 

“Right,” he says when Potter smiles. He looks entirely too hot for his own good. “It’s in your nervous system. Some nerves are damaged so that when you brush the wrong spots in your body they send the wrong message to your brain.”

The expression on Potter’s face is pure confusion. Draco sighs and tries again. “Think of it as a Quidditch game. Seekers must look for the Snitch; Keepers must guard the goalposts and so on. Your neurons have specific functions, but what happens if a Seeker suddenly stops looking for the Snitch and starts throwing Quaffles around, instead?”

Potter’s face clears. “A fucking mess.”

“Indeed,” Draco says. A smile forms on his face against his will. 

“Is it curable?” Potter asks. His chest is still heaving heavily up and down. 

Draco nods. “Yes, but it will take quite some time. In the meantime, I can prescribe you some potions that will help diminish your episodes.”

Potter practically jumps off the stretcher, throwing his arms around Draco’s neck. “Bloody hell, that’s amazing! Thank you, Draco, thank you!” 

Draco laughs and returns the hug, remembering a tad too late he’s as hard as he could ever get. 

“Er.” Potter pulls back, raising an eyebrow. “Well, maybe… someone could show me what real pleasure is again. I kinda forgot it.” 

Draco’s kissing Potter before he can double-think it, whispering between kisses, “I’ll make you cry harder than you ever have.” 

[simpingforsoftboys]

The Odds of Us All

Special CH1: A Glance At The Past (the one where Sakusa meets Y/n)

Okay so this chapter takes place right before Y/n’s first year of high school! I wanted to write more Sakusa within the “The Odds of Us All” AU but it’s not my dudes time to shine yet :( So here we are, I’m going to write about the time Y/n met Kiyo ahahhaha. Enjoy my fellow Sakusa simps ;)

*technically this can be read as a stand alone one shot but why would you only settle for that when you can read the series?

“Y/n, I know you want to stick by Tetsuro and Kenma... but you seriously need to consider your future. Eventually you’ll have to separate from them, don’t let your history hold you back in the past.” M/n Ushijima, Y/n’s competent and straight forward mother advised, gazing at her daughter with a knowing stare. At the moment the h/c girl was looking through a long lists of high schools she had the options of attending. Her top four options were Fukurodani Academy, Shiratorizawa Academy, Itachiyama Institute, and Nekoma High. 

Fukurodani was a good option, they had a focus on subjects like Japanese and English literature, as well as history and art. While Nekoma High’s more favored subjects were the STEM courses, and they even had a bonus of being the chosen high school of her childhood friends, Kuroo and Kenma. These two were the cheapest options- neither of them being a private academy like the other two. 

Itachiyama Institute was probably the place her mother wanted her to attend, they were renowned for their excellent college prep classes, exceptional sports teams, and high rate of graduating students getting into Imperial Universities (Japan’s Ivy League basically). Shiratorizawa Academy was all the way in Miyagi- but they had a dorm that she could stay in. There was also the fact that she was guaranteed an invitation from the headmaster himself, due to the Ushijima family’s children studying there as per tradition. Her cousin Wakatoshi also attended the school, as expected of him, if she chose to follow his lead she was guaranteed friends and a good time also.

Choosing a high school was hard- especially when her mother was pushing her in one direction, only to backtrack and say that she would support her no matter what school she wanted to attend. Y/n briefly wondered what it’d be like when deciding on a university in the future- however those thoughts were far from pleasant so she shook them off. 

“I... don’t know mom.” M/n looked at her daughter long and hard, releasing a soft sigh before pulling out her phone and tapping away.

“How about you take Itachiyama’s entrance exams and see if you at least qualify? Any other school on this list will accept you as a student in a heartbeat. At least this way you’ll know if Itachiyama is even an option for you.”

You blinked, considering her words, they made sense so you agreed.

“Great, the entrance exams are this Sunday, I’ll drop you off then.”

~Time skip to Sunday, location: Itachiyama Institute~

You had finally finished the god awful tests. It had taken an excruciating three hours of your time to complete and your brain felt like literal mush. Stomach rumbling, you made your way to one of the vending machines you remembered passing by earlier. One thing you were glad for was the location of the exams- right in the administration wing of the school- naturally, the heads of the place had access to the best snacks. You walked silently, eyes gazing at the ceiling, not paying attention to anything but the fluorescent lights. Rounding the hallway corner, your eyes fell to the end of the hall- where the vending machine was located. Humming a small tune you continued your leisure stroll, fishing through your pocket for your credit card. After retrieving it you purchased a mini chocolate cake (that looked more like a brownie than anything), white chocolate matcha cookie, and a tiny cup sized bottle of milk tea. As the transaction was going through, you picked up on approaching footsteps and people’s voices. 

“Apologies *indistinguishable*-san I simply must take this phone call. There’s a vending machine around the corner, would you please wait for me there?” An adult said, heavy footsteps receding, a door opened, then shut. You turned back to the task of collecting your snacks. 

“Is this what I think it is?” A noticeably younger sounding male’s voice asked, barely audible. You vaguely wondered what was going on over there, before promptly setting your food on a nearby chair, pulling out your hand sanitizer and applying it swiftly. As you contemplated what snack to indulge yourself with first, you were deaf to the incoming footsteps and soft gasp from behind you.

“But if I ate the cake I might accidentally spill crumbs in the hallway... maybe the cookie’s a better idea?” You wondered, pocketing your sanitizer, still oblivious to the boy behind you. “Hmm...”

“Uhh... excuse me?” That voice from earlier called out, startling you. You whipped around, only to make eye contact with pretty onyx eyes, the color of warm coal and cooled lava rock. His entire being was outlined in a highlighter yellow- it was kind of fitting, having matched the schools signature colors. 

‘Woah my soulmate’s actually kinda hot,’ you thought to yourself, taking in the boys appearance. Wavy black hair, two moles above his right eye, you couldn’t see the rest of his face- since it was obscured by a white face mask. He was perhaps 5′11- but something told you he was on the cusp of a growth spurt. So caught up in your musings you hadn’t noticed that you had accidentally voiced your thoughts out loud. “Thank god he’s not an old man.”

“...Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Mr. Highlighter questioned, staring at you incredulously. 

“Oh no did I say that out loud? I am so sorry- I swear I didn’t mean too!” You exclaimed before bowing in apology, cheeks hot with embarrassment. Sometimes you spoke whatever was on your mind- a bad habit you were currently working hard on breaking.

“...” He didn’t say anything, still looking at you judgingly. Internally he was wondering why he was destined to be with someone like you. “Sakusa.”

“Huh?” You straightened back up, wide eyed. 

“My name’s Sakusa Kiyoomi... this is the part where you’re supposed to introduce yourself.” Uh oh ‘Sakusa’ sounded a tad bit irritated with you now. His name sounded familiar somehow... but you didn’t quite know why.

“R-right! My name’s Ushijima Y/n!” You smiled nervously, awaiting his reaction. He looked pleasantly surprised at that.

“Ushijima? Like Ushijima Wakatoshi?” Your smile dwindled slightly at his choice of words. Of course he was excited- not because he met you- but because he was able to use you to meet Toshi. 

“Yeah... he’s actually my first cousin.” Attempting to keep the conversation flowing you asked “are you a volleyball fan?” 

Unbeknownst to you, Kiyoomi noticed how you reacted when he asked about Wakatoshi, so he decided to avoid that topic for now. 

“Mm... I’m actually a player. That’s what I’m here for... I was scouted for the volleyball team.” He says it so nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t sought out to join the best high school boys team in the entire country. 

You’re just as impressed as he hoped thought you’d be, all starry eyed and mouth open in awe. “Scouted? That’s amazing Sakusa!” He’s pleasantly surprised that you forgoed the honorifics, but a tad bit disappointed at your use of his surname. “You must be very skilled- I’m only here because I had to take the entrance exams.” 

“How were they?” He finds himself blurting out softly, it’s uncharacteristic of him- not that you could know that- but he finds that he doesn’t mind being a bit forward when it comes to you. Despite not usually being one for conversation, he doesn’t want this chat to end. 

“Mm they were okay I guess... but the math portion was pretty difficult.” Speaking about the hard exams remind you about how hungry they made you and your stomach gurgles in response. Behind his mask, Kiyoomi’s lips quirk at the abashed expression you make- which disappears once you wave it off with a laugh and a brief apology. “Want a cookie? Or a cake?” You question, nodding over to your waiting snacks. He shakes his head. It feels almost invasive as he watches you unwrap your cookie- noticing the care you take in making sure your fingers only touch the wrapper, not wanting to touch the cookie itself, lest you get crumbs on your hands. But you don’t look uncomfortable at his weird interest, so he continues to stare. “I can buy you a snack? What do you like to eat?”

“It’s fine, I have money.” The dark haired male pats his pocket, “I like umeboshi... anything with umeboshi.” Those enchanting e/c orbs flit over to him once more and he discovers that you’re probably the only person that could stare at him endlessly without making him uncomfortable. This thought scares him- he doesn’t even know you- he shouldn’t be thinking such things. You’re tapping away at the vending machines, cookie having been finished and trash tossed in a bin nearby. He assumes you’re just buying another snack for yourself.

“Here... is ume daifuku good?” You question, holding it out to him with one hand, while your other one reaches back into the dispenser part of the machine and retrieves a can of matcha tea. “Delivery for one!” The smile adorning your lips sends a pleasant feeling throughout his body, normal tendencies forgotten, he accepts your offer. 

“Thank you... can I pay you back? I don’t have cash on me at the moment, but maybe another time?” He pockets the canned tea and holds the daifuku in one hand, allowing you to spurt some hand sanitizer on his empty one. You shake your head, h/c hair swinging, his heart sinks in his chest- rejection overcoming him. 

“Don’t even think about paying me back Sakusa... but we can meet up again... maybe off of school grounds?” A shy look overtakes your features and he can feel his heart picking itself up off the floor and taking flight at how cute you are. 

“I... wouldn’t be opposed.” 

“Great, let’s keep in touch then! What’s your number? I’ll text you!” He tells you his number, watching as you type it into your phone quickly. 

“Say cheese!” You twirl around holding the camera up so that it focuses on Kiyoomi’s tall figure, your head poking in at the corner of the screen. He doesn’t do much- the only noticeable change in his demeanor is the *very* slightly shocked look on his face (you can tell by the wide stretch of his eyes). He licks his lips behind his mask and looks as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t get the chance. 

“Sorry about that Sakusa let’s continue the tour- hm am I interrupting something?” The headmasters voice says from the end of the hallway, he’s pleased to see the two of you together. Both being the children of very influential people- it bode well for the school if you kids got along. 

“No, we’re good thank you... I’ll talk to you later Ushijima.” 

“Call me Y/n, Sakusa! I’ll text you okay?” 

The headmaster walks off, expecting Sakusa to follow. As he passes you he says one last thing. 

“You can call me Kiyoomi then.”

Series Masterlist

Taglist: CLOSED @kac-chowsballs​ @kotwd​ @ems1des​ @normalisthenewnorm @micheleinumaki @gomchan @empress-simps @mer-der-mi @honeyswhiskers @sakusas-number1-stan @astronomyturtle @akirahyoshi @afire24  @its-the-aerieljeane @carla-1217​ @fucktheworlddude @baes-x @shadoweepingscream @sirachano0dles @katamint @420-uwu @xstormiii​ @youtuboo​ @chibiitakoyaki

[thedreadvampy]

taken from @totopopopo

Why did you choose your URL? I legit could not tell you that with any precision, I've been using it so long. Vampy was a nickname I took on at like. 13 in like 2006 on an old roleplay forum bc my friends used to mock me for being awake at the point friends in the Western US were going to bed late. TheDread...I mean it's a Princess Bride reference for sure, it definitely went 'there's no Vampy username available on X platform so let's try TheDreadPirateVampy' but idk when or how I lost the 'pirate'

Any side blogs? A few! Obviously there's my art blog @ongoingart, but there are a bunch of weird and abandoned ones uhhhhh there's @rotefashion which is where I collated visual inspo for my MA, there's my Trauma Blog which I only give the URL out by request and my Sexy Stuff blog which NOBODY gets the URL for, there's @transexclusionaryradferengi which I largely made to keep Arguing With TERFs off my main, there's some I made at uni in like 2013 (@invisibleladycock started as a NSFW art blog but ended up just being me and my pal shooting the shit, @whatasillyoutfit was a daily outfit blog I quickly abandoned, and then @hellacollective and @chooseyourownsmut were collaborative projects with uni pals) and so on.

like I never delete things and I've been on here for like 10 years so. BUT. ongoingart and very occasionally rotefashion are the only ones I've used in years.

How long have you been on Tumblr? Too Bloody Long

Do you have a queue tag? I never learnt to queue and I'm not starting now you will get flurries of uncurated Content and you'll damn will like it.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? God I really don't know stop asking me to remember things

Why did you choose your icon? I did Pride makeup for like the first time in my adult life and I really liked it. also my old photo was me at like 16 and very steampunk and it kinda. no longer represented my vibe. idk why my icon has always been a photo of me, I'm just That Vain ig.

Why did you choose your header image? It is one of the paintings I'm proudest of and I just. I really leveled up on light and atmosphere in that one. again. vain. (also until last year I was mostly Robin Hobblogging on here so 🤷‍♀️)

What's your post with the most notes? Extremely the Blobbyland one it has literally like. 28k. then the Piggate one which has like 10k. basically my notes always have a few people in them saying 'WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ENGLAND'

How many mutuals do you have? How all I meant to know this? (and honestly given how much my social circles have changed while I've been on here I can't keep track of who's still active anyway)

How many followers do you have? 1541 because you bitches can't follow instructions and keep me at an even 1500. also that's Too Many Followers and simultaneously like is it idk what classes as a lot.

How many people are you following? Like 430 I pretty much only ever unfollow people of they make me actively angry to see them and even then I often don't like. I barely use my dash so 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever made a shitpost? I will direct you to my 3rd and 5th most popular posts which I call the Ragging On Toryboy Elias diptych. is that shitposting? what qualifies as shitposting?

How often do you use Tumblr every day? CONSTANTLY IT'S A PROBLEM I USE IT UNTIL I RUN OUT OF CONTENT THAT SCRATCHES THE BRAIN WORK ITCH AND THEN I SIT AND REFRESH IT

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? CHRIST have I like I swear I don't go out of my way to start shit but I seem to be everyone's Discourse Mutual all the same. anyway I mean obviously there's the Stuart Semple thing the TMA discourse the Pride discourse etc but tbh mostly I get anons so idk. which blogs I'm beefing with or how many of them there are.

How do you feel about the 'you need to reblog this' posts? Fuck off no I don't performative bullshitttttt

Do you like tag games? YES I CRAVE ALL INTERACTIVE CONTENT but in practise all my tags are boring

Do you like ask games? I LOVE TO BE TALKED TO

Which of your Tumblr mutuals do you think is famous? idk like all my art mutuals are more popular than me. also probably @alientoastt and @milfkarlmarx on pure mechsfandom clout

Do you have a crush on a mutual? no half my active mutuals are Children no offence. and also I don't do a lot of crushes and them I do have I save for irl pals 🥰

tagging @milfkarlmarx @silly-slacker-person @trisshawkeye

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #137: Chloe von Einzbern

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making yet another servant with absolutely no other media beyond Fate Grand Order, Chloe von Einzbern! Basically, small, vampiric Emiya. 

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Another 13-year-old anime character in a bikini. Joy.

Race and Background

Like your sister you’re a homunculus... kinda? Anyway, that means we’re going Custom Origin from Tasha’s giving you +2 Dexterity, a Small build, History proficiency to keep track of those cards, and the Piercer feat. That bumps your dexterity up by another point, you can re-roll a die of piercing damage each turn, and critical hits deal an extra die of damage if you’re using a piercing weapon. Knives pierce, use those.

Since you were your sister (or rather you two were the same person who wasn’t entirely one or the other previously... plurality is weird.) for most of your life, that means you’re also an Inheritor. Survival is the default proficiency, but since you took most of the magic when you left you also get Arcana proficiency.

Ability Scores

In case you couldn’t tell from your racial bonuses, you’re pretty good at Dexterity. You’re fast, and you’re good with knives. After that is Charisma, to help you tease Illya a bit. Also, you’re a kid, kids are cute. Your Wisdom comes next, you can’t tease people if you don’t notice stuff to tease them on. After that is Constitution, you’re the more physical fighter of the family. Your Intelligence isn’t great since you’re a kid, and even though it’s one of our casting modifiers that doesn’t mean we actually need it. Finally, dump Strength. You are child, you have noodle arms.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: You specialize with daggers, but we need to be good with every kind of projection you can make, that means we’re a fighter first and foremost. As a fighter, you learn the Thrown Weapon fighting style, letting you toss more daggers in a turn and also deal +2 damage with thrown weapon attacks.

You can also use your bonus action to use your Second Wind to heal yourself. Not super fancy, but not dying’s always nice.

2. Monk 1: First level monks get Unarmored Defense, because... yeah, that doesn’t qualify. This means your AC is now 10 + your dexterity modifier + your wisdom modifier while not stuck in armor. Plate mail isn’t really your thing.

You also learn Martial Arts, giving your monk attacks a base damage of 1d4. You can also use dexterity instead of strength when attacking, in case you find yourself using something larger than a knife. Finally, you can use your bonus action to make an unarmed attack if you make a monk attack with your action. You’re already probably using your bonus action for knife attacks, but switching things up is a good strategy. 

3. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge once per short rest, letting you slap an extra action onto a turn. It’s kind of like an extra attack, but not!

4. Fighter 3: Third level fighters get their martial archetype, and if you want to summon weapons there’s no better way to do it than the Eldritch Knight. Thanks to their Weapon Bond (a ritual performed over a short rest) they can summon one of two bonded weapons to their hand as a bonus action, and you can’t be disarmed unless you’re incapacitated. You also learn some Spells, but since they use your intelligence we’ll have to hold off on the big guns for now.

Grab Blade Ward and Shield for some protective weapon summoning, Mage Hand for finer weapon control at a distance, False Life for a tiny bit of vampirism, and Magic Missile for some super accurate dagger tossing.

Also worth noting that your Weapon Bond only lets you project the same two weapons over and over again, but I mean... you already do that.

5. Fighter 4: For your first Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Wisdom for some more AC. Can’t have enough of that stuff.

You also learn the Alarm spell, because it’s one of the few that barely even feels like a spell. Just flavor it as like, a regular alarm system. Bam, done.

6. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, for more smack when you attack.

7. Fighter 6: You’re cursed to share Illya’s pain, so it makes sense that you should also get Illya’s Tough feat for some extra HP. Probably.

8. Monk 2: Back in monk now, second level monks can use their Ki to dash, disengage, dodge, or attack twice with their bonus action. You have a number of ki points equal to your monk level, and they recharge on short rests.

You also get Unarmored Movement, making yourself a bit more agile as long as you aren’t stuck in some leather.

9. Monk 3: You like stabbing. Kensei monks also like stabbing. It’s a match made in heaven! As a kensei monk you gain Kensei Weapons, two types of weapon (one melee, one ranged) that will be used for other features. I’d highly suggest daggers as your melee, the rest can be whatever you’d like to project later. You can use kensei weapons to make an Agile Parry, adding 2 to your AC when you make an unarmed strike as part of your attack action if you’re holding onto it. You can also make a Kensei’s Shot with your ranged weapons as a bonus action, adding 1d4 damage to the attack. Throwing a knife counts as a ranged attack, so slap as much damage onto it as possible.

You also learn the Way of the Brush, obtaining the power of the gods, Painter’s Supplies proficiency.

Also also, you can Deflect Missiles as a reaction, reducing incoming missile damage, and possibly yeeting it back by spending a ki point if you reduce the damage to 0.

10. Monk 4: Fourth level monks can Slow Fall as a reaction to reduce falling damage. I mean, if you project enough knives downward, it’ll eventually break your fall! Wait...

You also bump up your Charisma with this level’s ASI. It’ll make more sense in a bit.

11. Monk 5: Your extra attack isn’t usable here, but you do get a Stunning Strike, forcing a constitution save when you smack someone by spending a ki point. If they fail (its DC is 8+ your proficiency + your wisdom modifier btw) they’re stunned until the start of your next turn.

Finally, you can burn ki even faster thanks to your Focused Aim, spending 1-3 ki points to add 2 per point to an attack roll for extra accuracy.

12. Monk 6: Ki-Empowered Strikes and Magic Kensei Weapons mean all your monk attacks are magical to avoid resistances. You can also spend ki to make Deft Strikes, adding a martial arts die in damage to a kensei weapon attack once per turn.

13. Warlock 1: Yeah, sorry, this is another 3-class build. We need vampirism, what can I say?

We’ve called the grail a Great Old One before, and I think that can work here too. As part of your pact you learn Pact Magic, spells that you can cast using Charisma and that recharge on short rests.

Your Awakened Mind lets you speak telepathically to creatures within 30′ of you, even if you don’t share a language. I mean you probably have some kind of twin bond with Illya, right? We’re mostly here for the later levels anyway.

For spells: Sword Burst and Eldritch Blast let you summon more flying knives without having to worry about actually making them. You also get Expeditious Retreat for even more speed, and Charm Person to lay on the smarm.

14. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, ways to spice up your warlock life. Grab Agonizing Blast for deadlier knives, and Beguiling Influence to beef up your Deception and Persuasion checks for deadlier puppy-dog eyes.

Yeah, we’re not getting improved pact weapon for once. Are we running a fever?

You can also cast Comprehend Languages now to translate your anime. Just make sure to get subs too!

15. Warlock 3: Thanks to the Pact of the Blade, you can now project any weapon you want into existence as an action. The weapon counts as magical, and you always have proficiency with it.

You can also cast Cloud of Daggers to make a cloud... of daggers! They take up a 5 foot cube, and deals damage to creatures who walk into the area or start their turn in it.

16. Warlock 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger and more accurate spells.

Speaking of being more accurate, the cantrip True Strike lets you get advantage on an attack next turn, but it’s a lot easier just to attack twice. You can also use Misty Step to speed up past the point the eye can see.

17. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells, meaning we can finally get our hands on Vampiric Touch for an energy draining kiss. You can make a touch attack each turn for up to a minute, dealing necrotic damage and healing half that amount each time you hit.

You also learn the invocation Eldritch Spear to up the range on your magical dagger throws. Just because they’re 100 feet away is no excuse to not attack them.

18. Warlock 6: Our last goolock goodie is the Entropic Ward. Once per short rest you can impose disadvantage on an incoming attack. If that attack misses, you get advantage on one attack against them. Evasion and a critical rate up, that’s dangerously close to an actual skill!

You also learn Counterspell this level. Rule Breaker is a weapon, so you should be able to project it well enough.

19. Monk 7: Finally bouncing back to monk after our long time away for Evasion. Half damage from failed dexterity saves, no damage from successes, you probably know the drill by now. You also get Stillness of Mind, letting you end charms and frigtens as an action.

20. Monk 8: Our capstone level gives us one last ASI, so max out that Dexterity. More AC, more damage, what’s not to love?

Pros:

Thanks to your various damage bonuses, you’ve got some deadly daggers on hand that can deal very consistent damage. You can deal 2d6+1d4+7 piercing damage on a single dagger with few resources spent, meaning you can keep that damage going for the long haul.

Speaking of dragging out a fight, you’re hard to hit thanks to a base AC of 17, the ability to boos that with Agile Parries and Shield to a maximum of 30, and disadvantage thanks to entropic ward. Getting hit: not even once.

Throwing daggers around gives you range, and your 45 feet of movement and teleportation gives you the mobility to abuse that. You’re even harder to hit when you’re constantly out of the enemy’s range.

Cons:

Even if options for making more, throwing weapons are still a pain to use, and require a bonus action or full action to recreate. On top of that, your spell slots and ki points are also pretty limited, reducing your effectiveness in long battles somewhat. Efficiency only goes so far.

Your bonus action is pretty crowded, thanks to regular monk stuff, healing, weapon bonds, and so on. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean you’ll have to prioritize. 

Your Low Strength means that the occasional enemy that gets too close can knock you around. Just hope Illya’s around to distract them while you get back up.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 12: All Hail Takumi

Castle building time! I built a giant dragon statue that heals units during invasions, which is nice I guess, and also an arena so I can make my soldiers fight to the death and bet on whether they perish! Unfortunately, when I went to use the arena, the dumb clerk said I couldn’t use it yet. Meanie.

Support: Hinata/Oboro

C: Hinata’s hair is too long, so Oboro cuts it for him. He requests she make him look like Takumi, because apparently one dude with a pineapple haircut is too few. The duo reflect on their mutual admiration of Takumi, their desire for his coolness to rub off on them, and their rivalry over who is more loyal.

B: Hinata offers to cut Oboro’s hair and she rejects him, saying that he will mess it up because he’s Hinata. The two of them continue talking about how cool Takumi is and how much they want to be like him.

A: Hinata and Oboro discuss the fact that they only bicker because they respect each other. Also, Takumi is cool. All hail Takumi.

S: The two of them get engaged, talking about Takumi throughout their proposals.

Review: Holy crap you two, shut up about Takumi. He isn’t even cool. They have good chemistry, but all they talk about is how much they love Takumi.

Support: Azama/Hinoka

C: Azama makes fun of Hinoka’s hair, clothes, and clumsiness, despite the fact that she’s a goddamn member of the royal family and probably could have him executed on the spot. She threatens to stab him and he brings up the fact that he’s only her retainer because he saved her life once.

B: Hinoka is sad over the deaths of innocent soldiers and Azama gives no sympathy because people die every day. She questions why he saved her when she was a child and he says he did it because she looked furious and he thought saving her would be interesting. She points out that he’s a horrible person, but says she respects his confidence.

A: Hinoka begs Azama to save a dying man and Azama says it isn’t worth the effort. When pressed, he says the man will die anyway. Hinoka orders him to do his damn job and he begrudgingly tries to save the dying man. He dies anyway, and Azama tells Hinoka that she should have just let him die peacefully, telling her that her kindness will be her downfall.

S: Azama goes up to Hinoka and tells her that they’re engaged. Hinoka kinda just goes along with it after Azama lists his good qualities.

Review: I actually kinda liked this one, oddly enough. Azama’s dickishness went so far that it looped around and made him likeable. This conversation touches on the horrors of war in a way that most conversations don’t and I do enjoy Azama teaching Hinoka that there are limits to her kindness. I just wish that Azama’s lackadaisy attitude was a facade, a la Hawkeye Pierce. The two of them, like most couples in this game, have little chemistry. Still, Azama going up to a member of the royal family and declaring the two of them engaged is so audacious I respect it.

Support: Corrin/Mozu

C: Mozu is lugging around some heavy boxes full of vegetables, because she is a strong little girl. This leads to a conversation about Mozu’s village; Corrin asks if Mozu misses her old life, Mozu says not to worry, Corrin says she’ll probably never stop worrying about Mozu.

B: Mozu talks about hunting as a child. Apparently she fought bears, because Mozu is a god of death.

A: Corrin decides to give Mozu a basic education, which Corrin is in no way qualified to do, considering that she has consistently shown herself to be the dumbest person in our army. Corrin says some stuff about the army being Mozu’s new family and Mozu cries. It’s sweet.

S: Corrin says he used to pity Mozu, but now has nothing but respect for her for her courage. The two of them get married.

Review: Corrin’s interactions with Mozu are very sweet. The S-Rank, again, doesn’t really work, but then again few S-Rank’s do. Overall, a very charming support line, if a bit bland. Also Mozu killed a bear with her bare hands because she is a terrifying death god disguised as a little girl.

Support: Hinoka/Setsuna

C: Setsuna makes Setsuna a cup of tea so bad it’s almost poisonous. The two of them discuss the fact that they both suck at cooking and decide to team up to become better chefs.

B: Hinoka and Setsuna try to make eggs. It does not go well.

A: The girls finally make a good meal by working together and decide they can do anything if they put their minds to it. Setsuna gets stuck in the pantry.

Review: This was a fluff support line, which is okay, I guess. I would have liked it to have a bit more meat, perhaps an explanation of why she made the walking disaster that is Setsuna her retainer, but I will admit that it was a fun read.

Birthright Chapter 10: Ninja Village

The party travels through Mokushu, the ninja country from Kaze and Saizo’s support conversation. Kaze says that he isn’t worried about the people of Mokushu being conquered by Nohr because of their sick martial arts prowess. Zola sneaks up on the party because...wait, hold on, they didn’t tie him up? We weren’t shown him escaping, so I guess that means they just let him go after he tried to kill him. My god, Corrin gets dumber with each passing moment.

Zola surrenders and begs for amnesty. Corrin asks why they should trust him and he says that they really shouldn’t, cause of the whole attempted murder thing. But, he doesn’t have an army anymore, which means he isn’t a threat. He says that he can be of assistance and Corrin decides to bring him along, ignoring objections from the smart people in the party. To be fair, she does say Hinoka will kill him if he acts suspicious, but seriously just leave him in Mokushu he’s obviously going to betray you. Want to know how I know? Because he didn’t join our army.

Suddenly, someone throws a shuriken at Sakura. Kaze identifies it as belonging to a Mokushu ninja. Zola speculates that Mokushu might have an alliance with Nohr. The daimyo of Mokushu, Kotaro, shows up and says that Mokushu has an alliance with Nohr. Then the battle starts.

The map is filled with spike traps that activate as we step on them. We can use the Dragon Veins to spring them on the enemies instead. At the start of turn two, Takumi just kinda wanders into the battle and starts shooting Hinoka, which is weird because she isn’t one of the sisters he hates. Also he keeps muttering kill and is labeled an enemy, which is probably bad. He also whines about his inferiority complex, which is why he’s way lamer than Ryoma.

Azura sings to him and breaks his mind control. What can’t singing do?

During this map, I was reminded that Takumi is an unstoppable death god who can kill everything with ease. I paired him up with Corrin and waltzed through the woods, one-shotting ninjas left and right. I did hold them back and let Saizo kill the boss, though. Because, you know, he killed Saizo’s dad, something only told in an optional support conversation. Saizo actually has unique dialogue with him where he does the whole Inigo Montoya thing. Although, it was technically Hinoka who did the finishing blow, because Saizo doesn’t hit hard enough to kill.

Overall, this map was fine, I guess. The spikes were more a nuisance than a serious game changer. I did get good healer HP, though. Speaking of healers, there’s one stationed in the top right of the map who watched as I killed every other member of the army and slowly approached her before putting an arrow between her eyes. We’re the good guys!

After the battle, Hinoka and Sakura cry over how happy they are that Takumi isn’t evil anymore. He explains that he and Ryoma were separated after being attacked and that he ended up falling into the bottomless canyon. Then he woke up mind controlled and attacking us. I’m sure that’s not something we need to worry about.

At the end of the chapter, Takumi is finally nice to Azura because she saved him. Also Azura starts coughing, which means she is definitely going to die at the end of the game.

Kaze returns with Kagero, Ryoma’s ninja retainer who was imprisoned in Kotaro’s cellar. She tells us that Ryoma went to Cheve to fight Nohr. And didn’t look for his brother ever, I guess.

Overall, this chapter was okay. The stuff with Zola was dumb and could have been handled last chapter, and the fact that is completely sidelines Saizo is kinda frustrating, but Takumi got some cool character development and there was some foreshadowing about the bottomless canyon.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

[heathneycanon]

okay so i ranked 113 total drama/ridonculous race ships based on how much i like them with explanations below the cut.. fair warning that i’m a lil mean to some of the ships lower on the list.

also i forgot to include dwayne senior and that one girl’s mom from rr because i literally forgot they existed until now, and i don’t want to manually add them in so i’ll just say that i think they’re cute but not super interesting.

EDIT: this has been updated post-roti-rewatch. i switched around the order of a couple ships, and added a new one. if i ever rewatch rr or pahkitew i’ll probably edit it again, but the likelihood of me rewatching either of those seasons any time soon is... ok i was about to say it was slim but it’s probably not

also i’m not ever adding in dwayne and the mom because i like it being a part f the description lmao. an afterthought. as it should be.

enjoy!

113. stephanie/ryan - i HATE the daters/haters. they’re like a weird, shitty mix of tda gidgette and duncney. like, they’re either annoyingly all over each other, or they’re toxic and fighting. tbh, they’re pretty toxic all the time. they stuck around for way too long imho.

112. jacques/josee - I CHANGED MY MIND IGNORE THIS

111. tom/jen - tom is canonically gay, and i hc jen as a lesbian. so i’m not a fan of this ship.

110. nemma - yeahh, knowing me, this is also a predictably low ranking. i hc noah as gay and emma as a lesbian, so again, i don’t vibe with this one.

109. coderra - i can only deal with this ship in rewrites. i’ve seen super well thought out rewrites of coderra and sierra’s character, but as it stands, i really don’t ship this at all.

108. davesky - dave is an incel lmao. anyway yea this ship initially seemed like bootleg zoke, which was kind of bootleg gwent, but then BOY did davesky get worse. i can’t stand dave and i can’t stand pairing him with sky, either.

107. leonard/sugar - why. i hate both of these characters. no thank u.

106. ella/dave - ok so u know i don’t like dave. i also hc ella as a lesbian, she hasn’t realized it and is dealing with comphet. i don’t like this ship.

105. topher/ella - i hc both of them as gay. they are friends tho.

104. macarthur/brody - in case you’re noticing a trend, i do in fact hc macarthur as a lesbian. i also don’t really care about her at all lmao. anyway, not a fan of this one. i really don’t understand why fresh thought this was a good idea.

103. noah/katie - again, i hc noah as gay, but this ship is more funny to me than anything else because these characters were shipped together so often early on, when they both a) barely had any characterization and b) had never interacted? anyway yea i don’t ship it.

102. cameron/sierra - this one’s weird? literally sierra had a crush on him or whatever because he reminded her of cody even though they’re… nothing alike? dude please get sierra some therapy oh my god

101. heather/justin - i knew someone who really, really shipped them once, which is why i’m including it. anyway i cannot see this ship at all, next.

100. amy/rodney - i guess this existed? i barely remember pahkitew, and i know rodney had a bunch of crushes, but this is the main one i remember so it’s the only one i can be bothered to include. anyway this relationship didn’t seem healthy at all.

99. max/scarlett - i don’t like max and i don’t really care about scarlett, but i also hc both of them as gay, so this is a no from me.

98. gwody - creepy and bad. i don’t trust people who ship this or davesky.

97. dashawn - shawn can do better. that one scene where they look at each other when dave has to kiss the person next to him is kinda funny tho.

96. topher/dave - marginally better than all other dave ships just because topher is there and i like topher. again tho, topher can do much better.

95. malejandro - why does this ship exist.

94. ezekiel/bridgette - not my thing at all. i don’t care about zeke too much, and i have a lot more ships with bridgette that i prefer over this one.

93. cody/beth - i only care about cody in certain contexts, and i practically never care about beth. i wouldn’t click off of a fic if this were a background pairing or whatever, but i definitely wouldn’t seek it out.

92. ezekiel/beth - again, don’t really care about beth or ezekiel that much. but in certain contexts, i can see why this would be cute.

91. courtney/jose - the only way this is cute is alongside aleheather, so that courtney and heather could marry into the same family. but also, why is this a ship that exists?

90. scourtney - i love both scott and courtney, but no thank u. they had absolutely no chemistry, and courtney was using scott both in the competition and as a rebound. not a fan.

89. gwen/cameron - is this a thing that exists? i found a screenshot of gwen kissing cameron on the cheek but is that edited? if it is real, i probably blocked it from my mind.

88. courtney/cameron - now i know this one exists in the weirdest, stupidest way the show could’ve gone about it. barely even qualifies as a ship, and it’s definitely not a good one.

87. duncan/zoey - i kind of see why others would like this one, but at the same time, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

86. alejandro/courtney - i love alejandro and i love courtney. but i can only see them as friends, tho i can see them like. kissing just because they’re bored. or to fuck with people. they did that in the show, right? kind of? i forget the specifics.

85. chris/blaineley - while i guess i can see why people ship this, chref is canon and blaineley is a lesbian.

84. katie and/or sadie/justin - why would katie or sadie date justin, when they’re in love?

83. gwuncan - maybe could’ve been good, but literally everything about how they got together and their relationship in canon has tainted my view of this ship. i definitely preferred them as friends in tda anyway. there’s a lotta cute gwuncan fanart out there so i do rb it sometimes tho. i see why people ship this, i get the potential, but for me it’s soured by world tour.

82. laurie/miles - who?

81. mary/ellody - yea ok they’re smart gfs, but also i literally don’t give a shit about either of them.

80. pete/gerry - they’re definitely dating but again i don’t care about them.

79. mike/cameron - not a horrible ship by any means, i just don’t really like cameron that much.

78. alejandro/justin - there are so many superior alejandro ships. and a handful of slightly better justin ships.

77. carrie/devin - wow they didn’t have a storyline that was original in any way! they’re pretty cute tho.

76. sanders/macarthur - would be higher but acab.

75. macarthur/josee - i really like the whole rivals to lovers thing, but again, acab. this is higher than sanders/macarthur because of the rivals to lovers, but mostly it’s because there’s only one bastard cop here rather than two.

74. owen/alejandro - i don’t really mind this one, but i see it as more of a one sided crush on owen’s side.

73. lightning/cameron - i don’t really care about cameron, but the jock/nerd dynamic is kinda good.

72. rockspud - they’re definitely a couple, but as the trend indicates, i really can’t bring myself to care too much about rr ships.

71. lindsay/beth - best beth ship, worst lindsay ship. i like one this better if lindsay is also dating tyler.

70. lindsay/lightning - a crackship i made up when i was eleven. i just think it’s really funny.

69. noco - not a bad ship, it’s just not my thing. i definitely see why other people ship it, i just ship both of them with other people.

68. ella/sugar - i see why people ship this as well, but i just really don’t like sugar. i can bring myself to see past that because this dynamic is genuinely good.

67. sierra/heather - i’ve seen this in au’s and rewrites of sierra’s character, and i see the potential. not bad.

66. bawn - they’re cute i guess? i just never really saw the appeal. they’re not bad by any means, it just seems kind of bland.

65. dakota/zoey - okay so i’m adding this one in as i’m reordering stuff because i rewatched roti. i didn’t have this here initially but their friendship was cute until zoey was all “she’s scary” and voted her off. just saying, if zoey wasn’t written as a hypocrite and was actually written as a COOL character that lived up to the potential of her concept, this would’ve slapped. also i love any combo of dawn, zoey, and dakota, because they’re cute. i’m not including poly ships on here because that’d make things wayy complicated, but i’d be here for a poly ship of these three.

64. scott/zoey - UPDATED. was originally “yea something about this rubs me the wrong way. i feel like if i rewatched roti i would remember what, but i’m not going to do that just for this list. maybe someday.” i ended up rewatching roti for unrelated reasons the next day, and honestly? this one is not that bad. could be cute, potentially.

63. dj/katie - i guess this one’s pretty cute? i don’t really remember them interacting, but i guess i can see why someone would like this.

62. dunhar - i see why people ship this one. i kind of like it? i feel like it would work really well in an au or a rewrite.

61. dott - UPDATED. was originally “i used to kind of like this ship, but now i really don’t. i do love the idea of dawn and scott as best friends who bully each other in the friendly kind of way, though.” but i rewatched roti and... this has potential. i kinda like it. still prefer the bullying friendship tho.

60. scott/mike - again, i see why people would ship it. i’m not sure if people actually do? but it seems like the sort of thing i might have shipped in middle school, so someone probably likes it. but meh, it’s not really my thing anymore.

59. topher/shawn - i don’t remember if these two interacted but i guess this could be cute? maybe?

58. sky/ella - yea it’s cute i guess? i don’t really have an opinion on this one beyond that.

57. dawn/dj - i mean… i get where this comes from. i fully understand. i personally see them becoming close friends, but i also see why people would ship them.

56. dawn/brick - again, i see them much more as friends, but i get why people would ship them.

55. geoff/gwen - this ship kinda interests me because it was originally going to be canon in camp tv, but because of that one gweoff friendship episode in island i see them as unlikely friends.

54. dj/bridgette - maybe you’re sensing a trend here, but i see them as friends. i could probably get on board with shipping them, though.

53. deather - i like them as friends more, but i do think a relationship between them could be fun.

52. ella/dawn - i feel like i’ve seen this ship? it’s not bad! i’m not the biggest fan of ella but this is pretty cute.

51. zoke - i really want to like them, and i wish they were written better. as is, i kind of ship them? there’s nothing wrong with zoke. but both as characters and as a ship, they could’ve been so much better.

50. noah/justin - this one’s interesting! i’ve never actively shipped it, but i can see it for sure. it’s cute!

49. owen/justin - again, not something i’ve actively shipped, but i like it!

48. carrie/kitty - i think they’re both in their late teens? like 18ish? appropriate ages for each other? if so, i like this one. they’d be cute

47. josee/jen - yea i like this. i feel like they would get along pretty well. they’re both successful in their own right. power couple for sure.

46. tom/jacques - again. power couple. i also think they’d go on double dates with jen and josee, which i like a lot. honestly both of these teams are the epitome of mlm/wlw solidarity. i like this one.

45. alecody - i like it! i don’t have much to say about them at all, but i like it.

44. brody/geoff - good ship! putting the romance in bromance. i like this one more when it’s combined with gidgette though.

43. anne maria/vito - originally i put “what is the appeal of this ship? genuinely asking.” as the description, and then an anon sent in this reply: “You wanted the appeal of anne maria and vito? Well here it is; they are both so dumb. Not a brain cell between the two of them. Imagine them trying to do anything domestic like. They could not assemble a bookshelf or make a pot of spaghetti without it turning into a horrible, but memorably fun, mess. They’re soft for eachother but would kick anyone’s ass for so much as looking at the other. Sorry im rambling lmao i just think they are so funny together”. i get the appeal now, so i’m moving this one up.

42. lindsay/courtney - lmao their dynamic is so funny. i don’t know how well a relationship between them would go, but i can see court realizing over time that lindsay is a lot smarter than she initially seems to be. idk courtney’s observant and lindsay is actually pretty smart. i can see it happening.

41. trent/justin - best justin ship, worst trent ship (that i can think of. i’m sure there are more trent ships but i can’t think of them lmao). i can see them getting along pretty well! i bet in universe a bunch of drama brothers fans ship them, because of course they do. i can see the potential here.

40. lindsay/heather - yea this one could be good. i’d like to see a post world tour version of this ship, or an island au where they get together. either way, i like the idea of this one.

39. lindsay/gwen - again, this ship is pretty good. gwen was kind of rude to lindsay at points, but i think after she stood up to heather, gwen gained some respect for her. idk i can see it happening.

38. lightning/scott - is this jock/farmer? jock/asshole? i’m not sure, but i really like it.

37. harzeke - tumblr user harzeke has opened my eyes. their posts are enlightening. the reason i kind of like ezekiel. harzeke is a good ship.

36. sadie/lindsay - remember in phobia factor when they were hyping each other up? yeah. they’d be cute together.

35. dundie - you know, i really didn’t expect them to make this one canon, but total drama dundie came outta nowhere. i wasn’t sure i was going to like them together, but fresh pulled together it’s first coherent plot in years and created a beautiful love story. very well done.

34. chref - chref is canon and u can’t tell me otherwise.

33. katie/sadie - after they got over their comphet, they realized they were in love and they end up having a really cute wedding.

32. ozzy - this ship is cute! they’re both bi and i hc they talk about cute people together because of course they do. also they would be so much fun to be around. i like them.

31. dj/geoff - djeoff? yea i like this. i think they’d both go out of their way to do sweet things for the other, but of course, they’re still geoff and dj. dj would probably bake a lot for geoff, but at least once, he’s gotten nervous and dropped it by accident. and geoff practices pick up lines and jokes before their dates but they’re like. the bad ones. dj loves them. anyway! this ship is good.

30. courtney/trent - i really, REALLY love them as friends, but i like them as a ship too! honestly i just love them getting along in any capacity. i think they’d be cute.

29. dawn/dakota - i made this up five minutes ago and i love it. i have no idea if people actually ship this but they should. just… think about it for a second. think about it and then try to tell me i’m wrong. u can’t.

28. alenoah - noah had a crush on alejandro during world tour, and u can quote me on this. i think they would be a power couple for sure. i like this one.

27. gidgette - season one gidgette is amazing. gidgette in the context of the killer bass five is amazing. season two and three gidgette is kind of meh to me, but not horrible i guess! i like geoff and bridgette and i think they’re cute together.

26. duncan/dj - i like the idea of this one. remember when duncan found dj a bunny? yea. they’d be cute.

25. jock - jock is good. rivals to allies to lovers. that’s the path i see this ship going down. i really like picturing them in any sort of au where they can kick ass together.

24. gwourtney - i used to like this one a lot more, but it’s still very good. i love the idea of them both mistakenly attributing their feelings for each other to duncan and accidentally ruining their friendship in the process. and by love i mean hate but also think is a good interpretation of the love triangle. i can see them together in an au, or after seriously reconciling in the future. or, honestly, in any universe where sundae muddy sundae doesn’t exist.

23. leshawna/gwen - did i hear u say best friends to lovers? no? well you’re getting them anyway. leshawna and gwen would be amazing i’m telling u. it’s a good ship.

22. tyler/alejandro - this is the third time i’ve said someone had a crush on alejandro during world tour, but. tyler had a crush on alejandro during world tour. i think they’d make a cute couple.

21. jashawn - this is a relationship built on respect and trust and i am here for that. they’re both a lil weird but neither of them mind, and they care about each other so much… i’m soft.

20. jasammy - i like this only marginally better than jashawn. honestly, i like all three dating the most. but anyway, jasmine was the first person who saw sammy as more than an extension of her sister… she stuck up for her. she was sammy’s first real friend. can i just reiterate… i’m soft.

19. evzy - they would light your house on fire together just cuz they were in the mood. eva bench presses izzy every morning. do not try to challenge them to any sort of competition, they will win by any means possible. eva picks izzy up at every opportunity. whenever they cook anything, they burn it. is this by accident or on purpose? i’m not sure. izzy likes lighting stuff on fire and eva likes eating burnt food for some reason, so it doesn’t really matter. i love their dynamic so much.

18. jomaria - if u were talking shit about either one of them, they would both get together and beat u up. they’re both legends and i love them.

17. gweather - total trauma comic has truly opened my eyes… i really like them in a future setting where they’re both more mature and can understand how they were both in the wrong at times during total drama, and ended up hurting people and were hurt themselves, and work through that together. so basically… in the setting of the total trauma comic.

16. heather/leshawna - rivals to lovers…. au where leshawna and heather get together during tda… i’m telling u it’s a good ship.

15. nowen - imho, this is both the best noah ship and the best owen ship. they complement each other so well. world tour nowen is just. the peak of their dynamic. i think enough has been said about nowen that you can understand why i would like it, so i’m just gonna move on.

14. trody - this one came outta NOWHERE a while back, i’m telling u. but i love it?? i liked their friendship in island, and i just. i love the idea of cody having a crush on both gwen and trent during island, misunderstanding that and thinking he just has a crush on gwen, and realizing after island at some point that he also liked trent. and then trent developing a crush on cody after the breakup with gwen and just… dijfalsfjla honestly i like them in so many contexts. thank u tumblr user gothcody for bringing the trody hype. anyway they’re a good ship!

13. bridgecourt - my favorite bridgette ship! idk i loved bridgette and courtney’s friendship in island, and i can see them having a best friends to lovers type of deal. i just think they’d be cute together, and their relationship would be really healthy and balanced.

12. gwoey - u can try and tell me there wasn’t a little something between these two in all stars, but u would be wrong. their designs compliment each other really well, they’re cute together… i’m a fan.

11. lesharold - SO valid. harold drinks his respect women juice every morning, except for that one time he rigged the votes in island to vote out courtney because he was mad at duncan smh. anyway this is a relationship built on RESPECT and CARE. they’re very cute together, and i love them.

10. dawn/zoey - the superior doey. listen the only reason these two weren’t friends is because fresh decided that zoey was going to think dawn was “weird”? but what if zoey just said that because she didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she found zoey cute… zoey is the epitome of that “i had a crush on a girl and i didn’t know how to deal with it so i sent her a letter that said ‘get out of my school’” tweet. n e way they would be such a good couple.

9. samkota - dafjlsflkaakf i think about samkota and i freak out i’m telling u. like is there anything. ANYTHING. better than a guy loving and respecting his girlfriend unconditionally? and mutual love and respect? … well i mean there are several more entries on this list, so okay, maybe a couple of things, but this shit is galaxy brain right here.

8. aleduncan - ok so apparently something i like slightly more than partners who are soft and even softer for each other is total assholes who care about each other. like alejandro is a gentleman… but he’s a manipulative jerk too. and duncan’s a fucking asshole and i love him for it. anyway when they teamed up in world tour, especially in that episode where they hunted ezekiel (??? what is total drama??) i really liked their dynamic.

7. lyler - ok back to love and respect. tyler and lindsay are so good!! tyler got so excited when lindsay remembered who he was right? and lindsay never stopped asking ppl if they were tyler ok. like she knew she cared about tyler enough to want to be with him even when she didn’t know who he was?? i feel like we don’t talk about the implications of this enough. honestly… i feel like people overlook how much the period in between tyler’s elimination and slap slap evolution must have sucked for both of them? like it was played for laughs but… that shit’s sad :( ok i’m done being sad they’re cute and they love each other and i love them.

6. gwent - yea u got me i still care about them. tdi gwent was really sweet! there was a lil pining. a lil outside meddling. and a lot of cute. and GOD during the finale when trent ran alongside gwen with that boulder? he cared about her so much!! of course action ruined it with the shitty portrayal of ocd and a healthy portion of not fucking communicating with your partner, but before that it was good.

5. truncan - you got me, i like the idea of trent serenading duncan with his guitar and duncan liking it a lot more than he anticipated. i think they’d have a dynamic that’s a little more turbulent than most other trent ships, but less so than most other duncan ships. they’d be a lot more balanced i think. i’m a fan of that.

4. scuncan - okay so u remember how i said i like to ship two fucking assholes together? scuncan is peak asshole/asshole rights. all stars totally missed their chance to have these two team up by dumbing scott down, whatever they did with duncan, and of course, introducing scourtney, i’m just saying. scott was actually playing the game pretty well in roti, and duncan was a veteran of the series. the two of them could’ve dominated the game. those fuckin assholes.

3. aleheather - okay now this ship was like, the only central ship that started out good and ended good in this entire series, except maybe jashawn but they don’t count because they were literally only in 13 episodes. anyway they did rivals to lovers right here. also, they simultaneously gave heather a great character arc and wrote alejandro super well. so the characters as individuals were great at the time they got together, and the couple was great together, so what i’m trying to say is… aleheather was and still is amazing.

2. duncney - in case u couldn’t tell from how high gwent is on this list, i am a fan of the tdi ships. another thing you might be able to tell from this list- duncan and courtney are two of my favorite characters in the series. so of course duncney gets a high placement on this list. not only that, but they go from disliking each other to really liking each other, which is something else that i really like. tdi duncney is opposites attract in the best way, where they compliment each other each other instead of clash. beyond that… ugh. eughhh. i don’t even want to think about that. but duncney in tdi alone earns itself number two on the list.

1. heathney - yes i love girls. yes this ship is pretty fucking basic. and no, there are no heathney fics on ao3. i will be attempting to remedy that. anyway, i could see them pulling a rivals to friends to lovers as well, which is one of my absolute favorite tropes. i think they’d be a total power couple. and to top it off, i love them both. a lot. so much. thank u for ur time.