#weird tags back at it again (mb) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

woobly · 2 years ago

Text

PLUCK MY HEARTSTRINGS. track_013 — infinite rizz

𓂋˚˖ PAIRING. rival band lead guitarist! sunwoo x band rhythm guitarist! fem! reader

𓂋˚˖ GENRE. social media au with some written text, rivals to lovers, band au, college au, fluff, crack, angst

𓂋˚˖ WC. 1.4k words (pretty rushed n dialogue-heavy bc im kinda lazy,, mb)

𓂋˚˖ A/N. hello i am back from hell ..... (technically not rlly bc i still have 2-3 midterms this week but soon 🤞🏼🤞🏼)

𓂋˚˖ SYNOPSIS. competing against a rapidly rising all-male band from another school at an intercollegiate music festival doesn't really sound too bad on the surface. until you see their lead guitarist—the same boy who always made sure you knew who was the better guitarist between the two of you in high school.

masterlist. previous. next.

Saturday afternoon finally came around, meaning you were currently hanging out with your bandmates and your practice room neighbors. You all decided to have a picnic at the park that happened to be right smack in the middle of IST and Cre.ker, the two universities that you and your friends were attending. Yes, friends—whether you consider Sunwoo a friend was still up for debate, but his other band members were definitely fun to be around.

About an hour had already passed since you and Ryujin arrived with snacks in hand. The others brought the other essentials—picnic blankets, an acoustic guitar, bluetooth speakers, and even more food. The picnic had been going pretty well, with people recognizing some of you (mostly the guys) and Jacob providing relaxing background music with his guitar. Haewon was present as well, even if she isn’t part of either band, but no one seemed to mind since she blended in almost too easily.

Just before the sun was about to set, Haewon announced that she had to leave early.

“Sorry guys, I have a gig in an hour,” she shyly admitted as she began fixing her things.

“You perform too?”

“No, I do modeling sometimes,” Half the group gasped, while the other half nodded in understanding, causing her to giggle. Once she was ready to to leave, she approached you first, crouching beside you. “Y/N, are you free tomorrow?”

You turn to her suddenly confused. “I have some errands to do in the afternoon, but otherwise, yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Do you wanna hang out with me for lunch then? There’s this restaurant I’ve always wanted to try,”

You blinked blankly at her a few times before glancing at Sunwoo who’s already been looking at the two of you. “What about Sunwoo? And Eric?”

Haewon glanced at them as well, then smiled and turned back to you. “Oh, I’ve had enough of them for now. I wanna catch up with you,”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t taken aback, but you agreed anyway.

“Great! I’ll send you the address later.” she said before bidding her final farewells to the rest of the group and walking back to her car, with Sunwoo tagging along.

“Were you ever close with her?” Ryujin, who was seated next to you and eavesdropped on your conversation with Haewon, suddenly asked, bringing you back to reality from mindlessly staring at Haewon and Sunwoo walking away.

“Um, no actually. She was always in a different class. Kinda wish she wasn’t though, maybe I could’ve gotten higher grades in groupworks,” you joked, causing Ryujin to smile and scoff.

“Do you think it’s weird?”

“What’s weird?”

“Her asking you out for lunch like that in front of everyone,”

“You don’t think I’m the type to get asked out like that?” you joked again, trying your best to sound as offended as possible.

Giving up, Ryujin sighed and said, “Never mind I asked,” and took a piece of her french fries.

Giggling, you also took one of her fries and dipped it in your cookies and cream ice cream before popping it into your mouth. “I’m kidding. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it like that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hanging out and reconnecting,”

“Still. If she really is asking you out, you better say no because I was already thinking about asking her out,”

“You what?” Another voice suddenly joined your conversation, a voice distinctly Sunwoo’s.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that, Mr. ‘I got infinite rizz’?”

“I do actually,”

“Oh? And why is that?” You merely chuckle as you watched them bicker and Sunwoo eventually having to admit defeat.

“Guys, can we please cut the cake now?” Hyunjae whines out of nowhere, and you slightly cringe watching the older boy act like a child.

“Wait, let’s take pictures first!”

After settling down from the quick photoshoot under the setting sun, Sangyeon and Seunghee begin passing slices of the celebratory cake they bought. As you ate your share, you noticed Sunwoo removing the berries on his slice.

“You don’t like the berries?”

“No, you can have them,”

Hesitantly, you took one of the berries he set aside on his plate. Plopping it in your mouth, you smiled and swayed a little, happy from receiving extra free food. Sunwoo watched you take his food and simply chuckled.

Borrowing (read: stealing) Jacob’s guitar, Sunwoo began to play random chords. You couldn’t help watching in awe since he was seated next to you as you continued eating your slice of cake. You kept switching from looking at his right hand that was plucking by the sound hole and his left hand that was smoothly switching positions on the fretboard. Everything about the way he handled the guitar was so serene, grasp ever gentle and fingers calm and relaxed—much different compared to how he played on stage. You didn’t realize you were watching so intently until you heard Hyunjae’s laugh suddenly boom from where he was standing.

Snapping out of your trance, you look away for a second and speak loud enough just for Sunwoo to hear.

“What song is that?”

Sunwoo hummed, as if to contemplate a seemingly simple question. “Nothing. I don’t think we’re close enough for me to tell you yet,”

“Oh? But I think I know you quite well already. You’re kinda easy to read,”

“And what might you have concluded from reading me so well?” he playfully said, finally looking up from the guitar in his hands.

You smiled, already knowing where this is going. “That you may or may not have a teeny tiny crush on someone I know,”

Sunwoo’s face goes slightly pale, and he pauses his movements, momentarily forgetting the next chord of the same pattern he’s been playing for a while. You laughed at his reaction, it was priceless, but practically confirming with the boy himself that he did in fact liked Haewon felt a little weird.

Suddenly becoming defensive, Sunwoo raises his hand in an attempt to redeem himself. “Okay, to be fair, that was high school. I don’t—”

“What?! Oh my god, this is worse than I thought,” laughing your ass off, he tried to calm you down but to no avail. When you finally caught your breath, you looked at Sunwoo and chuckled at him.

“Please tell me you wrote a song about her,”

Sunwoo looked at you with obvious defeat and lied down with his back on the picnic mat.

“Oh my god,” you chuckled again, but this time, you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh as much anymore. “Okay, I’ll stop. But not without hearing it,”

“You’ve been listening to it the entire time,”

You gasped, finally connecting the dots. But somewhere between all the putting two and two together, you remembered the serenity that had been radiating off of him earlier, and that tugged at you a little, knowing the reason behind that peacefulness.

“Got any lyrics?”

“Just one or two. I never really knew how to put it into words,”

You watched him watch the clouds move above you. He was responding to you, and yet his mind seemed to be so far away, perhaps lost among the puffs of gray that the breeze carried away.

“Play it again,”

“No, I wanna lie down,”

“Play it again,”

He sighed, sitting up and resting his hands on the guitar once again. As you paid more attention to the song, you began humming melodies and blurting out cliche lines that only a teenager with a crush would say.

As time went on, you began coming up with random lyrics about laundry and taxes, causing you both to laugh at how unserious the atmosphere had become. You were so busy busting out verses that neither of you noticed the others beginning to pack up.

“Give it up, guys. We’ve been listening to the same song for hours,”

“Y/N, let’s go home. I thought you had a project proposal due soon,” Ryujin whined as she started to feel tired.

“Shit, I forgot!” you cursed as you packed up your things as well. Sunwoo watched you leave his side and felt a little awkward just sitting there with the guitar, so he decided to help the rest pack up.

Before you knew it, everyone was already saying their goodbyes and beginning to walk back home.

masterlist. previous. next.

𓂋˚˖ TAGLIST. @wooyoung-a @nyujjan @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @noempathyy @2hyunjae @sunwoahkim @sunnysunuu @feireads @igotkpoops @ilovechanhee @baehaechannie @mochibabycakes @ilvaussie @justsayk @beomsun @aurumness @pengbi @meowtella @ily-cuz-i @kiyokoism @erodemyedges @kswr1d @neoguriku @hwasatiny @woosunnie [open, dm/send an ask to join!] — bold cannot be tagged

92 notes · View notes

abyssalpeach · 1 year ago

Text

up against the ropes (a matcha blossom fic). rated e. also on ao3.

"Are you sure you don't have a concussion?" Kojiro's voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

"Positive."

a/n: i promise this started out totally normal and achingly tender before the brain worms whispered The Unholy Headcanon to me. pls forward this to my lawyer for when they come to take me away to horny jail.

anyway cheers to posting fic on tumblr again because somebody around here needs to start clogging the mb tag

Life was slowly returning to normal after the fateful S tournament where Langa had thoroughly whooped Ainosuke’s ass at his own game and Kaoru came out the other end seriously injured.

He had sustained a sprained ankle, a minor concussion, and the big one: a hairline fracture to his wrist.

He’d been lucky enough through the years to be a skilled and precise enough skater to avoid most injuries that would impede his work, but his luck had to run out eventually. Kaoru was honestly surprised it took even this long. He was not immune to bailing every once in a while.

But now his skating had massively affected his income for the first time in his entire adult life. It was a good thing he was self-employed and in an artistic profession where he could make his own rules and use art block as an excuse to push a deadline a little, but it didn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable with it.

His injuries on the other hand, were harder to explain away when they were so visible. He had to come up with an excuse at some point, and for someone with as much pride and poise as Kaoru, a nasty spill down the stairs was simply not a believable reason.

So, he told the truth. At least, as much of it as he was comfortable telling. He fell off a skateboard. Whether they inferred that he was a novice and simply trying to entertain one of his young relatives was none of his concern. They could think what they like.

He would’ve rather said that he’d gotten hit by a car, but it would surely look suspicious if he wasn’t involved in any kind of investigation or trial afterwards. Best to stick as close to the real story as possible and let people draw their own conclusions.

People were surprisingly generous with him during his time of injury. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, but his clientele always struck him as being fairly rigid. That’s why he took out all of his piercings and did his best to compartmentalize the different areas of his life. The resistance he was expecting to be met with when he was forced to push back dates for demonstrations and signing events was practically non-existent.

These things happen, they would say, as if he wasn’t a twenty-something year old professional admitting to falling off a skateboard. The reactions had him questioning whether or not he needed to be so cautious with his presentation and reputation after all.

There were too many things going on in his life that he was second-guessing now. Nothing was what it seemed to be anymore and he’s not entirely sure what to make of it. Kaoru spent so much time doing calculations, statistics, risk assessments, and not even the data could support the litany of weird shit he was enduring the past few months.

He really had come to terms with the fact that he was always going to be a little bit in love with Kojiro. He was always the nurturing sort, but he’d never gotten to experience it to that degree before. They spent every waking hour together for three whole weeks and somehow hadn’t killed each other yet.

Kaoru knew he was a needy person, and a jealous one at that. If he took it out on Kojiro unnecessarily sometimes, he was met with retaliation, and rightly so. He just couldn’t help himself. Kojiro could slut himself out to whoever he chose, but Kaoru would be damned if any of those women received the five-star treatment from Kojiro that he got.

No one could rile Kojiro up like he could. No one could critique Kojiro’s cooking like he could. No one could understand Kojiro like he could. Sure, they may have his bed for a night if they were lucky, but Kaoru held onto Kojiro’s heart with a vice grip and wouldn’t relinquish it for anything.

If Kaoru was going to be forced to live a life without enduring romance or marriage, he would make sure Kojiro was too. They were in this together, god dammit, they had been since they were in fucking kindergarden. They’ve done everything together for decades, that wasn’t about to change.

Maybe it wasn’t the best mentality for him to have, actually he knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t exactly talk himself out of his own feelings. Lord knows he’s tried to do that enough times over the years. A crush on his straight best friend and the biggest fuckboy in town. It was so embarrassing.

It was honestly kind of sick, this game that he’s been playing with Kojiro in his own mind. Maybe he just liked the thrill of the chase or always wanted things he couldn’t have and wouldn’t even know what to do if he got what he wanted, but these thoughts remained in the back of his mind throughout the years and all their petty squabbles. Life changes, but Kojiro never does.

He really needed to be less selfish. It’s not as though he deserved Kojiro’s kindness. The man has surely spent an ungodly amount of money throughout the years just to feed him. He probably writes it off as a business expense on his taxes, the damned fool.

“You’re my taste tester,” Kojiro rationalized. “I shamelessly use your discerning palette and instead of paying you in money, you would rather be paid in carbonara. You’re doing me a service.”

He’d do him a service alright. Glorious idiot.

It was a special kind of torture sharing space with him for so long. Waking up to breakfast in bed, afternoons spent doing nostalgia rewatches of their favorite stupid childhood shows, elaborate dinners, being bathed by him. It was… intimate. There really was no other word for it. Every night they parted ways after Kojiro had diligently washed his hair and dragged a soapy cloth across his back, every night he expected the tension to get the better of them, and every night Kojiro eased Kaoru into bed and excused himself to the couch.

And that was it. The cast and splint came off and Kojiro went home. His entire routine had been disrupted now. He had gotten used to all of the attention and care. And they still hadn’t killed each other. That part continued to baffle him. He didn’t feel smothered. Kojiro wasn’t sick to death of his neurotic behavior. If anything, he felt closer to Kojiro than ever before. It was like there was a seismic shift in the earth under him and he was, what? Expected to go back to how things were before? Fat chance.

He was able to repeat the same movements as before, going to Sia la Luce after he finished up with clients for the day, going to S together, working on improvements for Carla well into the night before passing out under the kotatsu. But something was missing. Big surprise, it was Kojiro. He hardly needed Carla to spell that one out for him.

It’s later than usual by the time he arrives at Sia la Luce, the lights in the dining room are already off, save for the ones above the counter he’s claimed as his own. The door is unlocked, but Kojiro is nowhere in sight.

He wanders into the kitchen to see if there’s something in the cooler worth raiding, but he finds his best friend casually sitting on the floor.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” Kojiro brings the bottle of whatever he’s drinking up to his mouth.

“That’s alright, I was overstepping my boundaries anyway.”

Kojiro lets out a thunderous laugh. “I hardly have boundaries when it comes to you, but good of you to own up to it.”

“Shut up, asshole,” he laughs. It’s a bit awkward. They need to have a serious conversation for once, and they both know it. “By the way, I... wanted to thank you.” Kaoru avoided his gaze, weight shifting between his feet.

Kojiro simply stared, not sure he was hearing that correctly. Kaoru continued, “For taking care of me.”

That seems to please him. “Somebody’s gotta do it. Not like Carla can carry you to bed.”

“Oh, fuck off. I’m trying to be nice.”

“You could certainly stand to do it more often, considering how much I feed you.”

Kaoru smiles softly, gaze dropping to his feet. “What are you doing on the floor anyway?”

“Having a beer, obviously. Want one?” Kaoru shook his head, moving to join him on the floor. He continued, “It was just a long day. Feet hurt.”

“Chairs too sophisticated for neanderthals now?” It almost sounded like a pet name.

“Is work going alright? How’s your wrist?”

“I’m fine, Kojiro. You don’t need to worry after me, you know.”

“Somebody should.” His answering smile is almost sad.

Silence fell heavily between them. Carla could never give him this. Ainosuke certainly never did. It was just Kojiro. Always Kojiro. “Would it be weird to say that I miss you?”

“I hope not, because I miss you too.”

“We should do something. See a movie, maybe.”

“We should. A movie sounds great actually, there’s one I was kinda wanting to see.” Kojiro pulls his phone out and is looking up showtimes, forwarding him a link to the trailer as he goes. It doesn’t look half bad for an action movie. It looks fun and fairly mindless, as they tend to be.

It’s a bit late and they’ve missed the last showing of the night, but they make a plan to go tomorrow. They settle back into their companionable, if slightly awkward, silence. Kojiro nurses his beer and Kaoru steals glances at his large hands, veiny and strong. His motions are not his own as he reaches for one and holds their palms up together, noting the difference in size.

Kojiro’s hands have always been a morbid fascination of his. He just likes to suffer, apparently. They’re large, but dextrous, with a couple prominent veins down the back. There’s some hair there now, not much, but it certainly wasn’t there when they were younger. What’s always been there is the smattering of freckles. Loathe as he is to admit it, he loves when Kojiro gets really tan and the freckles come out even more.

Kojiro’s hands have a couple burns on them and are a bit calloused from all the cooking and skating and working out. It almost makes him wish his own hands had half as much character. They’re soft and slender, not even particularly masculine, just generic. The only noteworthy thing about his hands is what they’re able to create.

Perhaps in this moment, he could use his hands to express the depth of his feelings to Kojiro. Something to avoid having to say it out loud.

Kojiro is watching their hands with rapt attention, his eyes soft but… pained? Before Kaoru can get the wrong idea about Kojiro rejecting him in that moment, he finds their fingers laced together. He’s never felt so warm.

“Kaoru…”

His face is so close. Kaoru can feel his warm breath on his cheek. He can feel his own blush. He dares a look into Kojiro’s eyes and finds everything he could’ve ever hoped for, but was too scared to imagine.

“Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?” Kojiro’s voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

“Positive.”

Kojiro’s hand was in his hair, bringing him close to brush their lips together, breathing him in before sealing his mouth over his. A pathetic noise rose from Kaoru’s chest, barely escaping his throat. Kojiro wanted to swallow it. Their hands were everywhere, tangled in hair, tracing along faces, scrambling at arms and shoulders.

They kiss just long enough for reality to sink in, pulling back with startled gasps.

He supposes astonishment is the best adjective to describe the look Kojiro gives him now. His own expression surely isn’t much different. But Kojiro raises their entwined hands to his mouth and presses a soft kiss to the back of his hand.

“Are you hungry,” he asks, as if they haven’t just crossed a line they hadn’t dared tread in the twenty years they’ve known each other. Kaoru nods slowly before letting his forehead rest against Kojiro’s.

“I’ll make your favorite,” his voice is a low rumble, sending shivers down Kaoru’s spine. Kojiro’s knees give an ominous crack when he rises from the floor, making him groan and Kaoru chuckle quietly.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when you get carpal tunnel. Don’t forget you’re next, pinky,” his smile is more disarming than ever, with hand outstretched to assist him off the floor. Kaoru takes the proffered hand, but not without getting in a jibe of his own.

“Maybe if you spent a little less time doing squats…”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not checking out my ass.” Kojiro’s laugh is thunderous when he sees Kaoru floundering for a comeback, knowing he’s been busted.

The rest of the evening passes without any more shocking revelations. Mostly it’s just… normal. There might be marginally less bite to their bickering and the glances they exchange might be a bit more tender, but it’s far from unusual. It’s familiar, and he knows that he’s safe, no matter what that kiss will mean for their relationship when tomorrow comes.

He waits next to the front door while Kojiro finishes locking up. The night air is crisp, the breeze cool instead of warm – a sign that the weather is about to turn from scorching heat to mild and temperate. They may not have seasons in the traditional sense, but it’s not as though it can be hot all the time.

Kojiro walks him home, gentleman that he is. Kaoru would read into it if this wasn’t already part of their routine. A routine they’re so entrenched in that they part ways with a “see you tomorrow” and a friendly wave. No fanfare, no trepidatious kiss to the cheek, nothing.

It’s disappointing really.

He’s mostly on autopilot as he readies himself for bed, thoughts consumed by what tomorrow might bring, mixed in with visions of that tender kiss. His toothpaste foams at the corner of his mouth and the blush sits high on his cheeks. He looks insane.

What kind of giddy teenager has he turned into? He’s a grown man , he should not be so affected by a simple kiss that happened an hour and a half ago.

He hunkers down into his futon and tries to shake it off.

His dreams are of crimson eyes, so soft, and lips that are even softer.

*****

They decide to just meet up at the movie theater since Kojiro bought their seats ahead of time. He tried to pay him back, but Kojiro refused.

God, it was like a real date and they were fighting over the stupid check.

He’s wearing pants for a change. Well, they’re still hakama, he isn’t being too adventurous, but he did pair it with a black halter top. He really ought to wear these pants more. They’re a light sage green color and decorated with small white flowers. He knows they look good with his hair and the fabric feels downright sensual against his skin.

When Kojiro rounds the corner, he doesn’t spot Kaoru right away, giving him a chance to drink his fill of the sight of him. He’s got his black bomber on this time, the one with the leather sleeves that he typically only wears for special occasions.

He’s so fucked.

When they do finally lock eyes, Kojiro’s entire face lights up and strides over to meet him. He does not miss the appreciative way he looks Kaoru up and down. He shifts on his feet, unaccustomed to Kojiro being so brazen with him.

“You look great!” He’s honestly such a child, he’s so giddy. It’s charming as hell.

They head into the theater, making small talk along the way. It’s not often they have time off that lines up, but Kojiro closes early on Sundays and doesn’t reopen until Tuesday.

Kojiro spent his day tidying up around the house and planning menus. Kaoru mostly spent his day fussing over his hair and worrying about tonight, not that he would divulge that particular bit to Kojiro. Instead, he claims to have spent his afternoon tending to Carla’s operating system. If Kojiro sees through the lie, he doesn’t say anything.

They’re early enough that the trailers haven’t started yet, so Kojiro stands in line to get them snacks while Kaoru uses this opportunity to visit the restroom. When he emerges, he finds Kojiro leaning just a tad too far over the counter, talking conspiratorially to the snack counter girl. Before he has the chance to get upset though, Kojiro waves him over with a grin so dopey that it rivals one of the seven dwarves.

Kojiro hands him the sour candies he favors so much and pushes off from the counter. He’s got his own popcorn in one hand and the other draped casually over his shoulders as he walks them to their seats.

“Who was that,” Kaoru inquired, hopefully not sounding too jealous.

“Oh, that was one of Rini’s old friends! Haven’t seen her since she was like eleven years old!”

Rini was one of Kojiro’s younger sisters. He hopes his sigh of relief isn’t too noticeable.

They settle into their seats while Kojiro rambles on about Rini’s friend and how she’s getting ready to graduate and move to Tokyo, where Rini has been for the past year. The way Kojiro talks about the people in his family and their circle around them has always left Kaoru jealous. Not in the sense that he wants to be the only one in Kojiro’s life, but wishing he had something like that to call his own.

His parents weren’t exactly the warm and nurturing type, often keeping Kaoru at a distance. No matter how hard he rebelled as a teenager, nothing seemed to make them pay attention. They’d pay for anything else though: toys, skateboards, a car, tuition. Anything to get him off their back.

It had to be why he gravitated towards Kojiro so much. Just being in the Nanjo house, crowded and messy though it often was, there was love and family to be found there.

Kaoru really needed to get a grip. It’s not like Kojiro would be flirting with someone while they’re literally on a date. If that’s what this even is. Surely it must be. The movie plans predicated the kiss, but it was a pretty straight fucking line from A to B. There was definitely a charged undercurrent to this little outing.

Kaoru squirms in his seat, sneaking glances over at Kojiro’s form next to him. Don’t ask him what’s going on in the movie because all he knows is that Kojiro’s body language is open, but his hands are clutching his popcorn container. He offers it to Kaoru wordlessly, getting in his space and leaning over the armrest. He allows himself to indulge, but it’s not the popcorn he indulges in, it’s Kojiro’s proximity.

They remain close for the rest of the movie, still in their own seats and occasionally shifting to a more comfortable position, but their bodies lean towards each other like magnets. Sometimes Kojiro will whisper something to Kaoru and earn them a shush from someone behind them, making Kaoru outright giggle.

Everything is always funnier when you’re not supposed to be talking or laughing. It reminds him of high school, though usually he was the one getting Kojiro into trouble rather than the other way around.

Life has changed around them. They’re practically whole new people now, but through all their evolutions, they can’t shake each other. They always go together, balancing each other out perfectly.

He wonders if this new development of their relationship will throw a wrench into it all. Much as he wants this, he doesn’t know what he’d do without Kojiro. That’s his best friend. No one in the world knows him better. Maybe they’ll be okay.

In fact, he’s all but sure of it now.

The credits come sooner than either of them expects, and they slowly put themselves to rights and clean up their trash. They wander lazily towards the exit, probably holding up the people behind them.

It’s warmer outside than it was the previous night. The breeze blows through his hair, and it has Kaoru feeling wistful. He takes in a deep breath and looks up at the stars. Neither of them has anything left to say, really. They just stand there in companionable silence, wondering what comes next.

Kaoru looks over to Kojiro, and you’d think he never looked away from the sky for how starry his gaze looks. Kojiro steps close, gingerly tucking a loose hair back behind Kaoru’s ear. He has to take a steadying breath.

“Why don’t you stay at mine tonight,” Kojiro asks.

Unsure whether his voice will come out normal or not, he gives only a curt nod. “I brought the bike,” Kaoru gestures to the Carla motorcycle, trying to get his blush under control, “it’s right over there.”

Kojiro climbs on the back of the bike, legs spread wide and inviting. Kaoru slides between him and the handlebars, turning the ignition. Kojiro lets his hands fall to Kaoru’s waist and he scooches himself even further up. If he feels like he’s being smothered now, he has no idea how he’s going to make it through the rest of the night. The engine roars to life, creating encouraging vibrations beneath them.

Kaoru’s sense of urgency to get them back to Kojiro’s place is only heightened when his hands creep up his ribcage and back down to his hips. They get stopped by a light and Kojiro takes his opportunity to pull Kaoru’s hips even further into his own and drop a hot kiss to where his neck meets his shoulder.

The sound of the bike drowns out much of the obscene moan he lets out, for which he is grateful. They need to get home now.

They’re only a block or so away and Kojiro’s forehead is pressed between his shoulder blades as he tries to calm his breathing.

What feels like mere moments later, he pulls up outside Kojiro’s building and kills the engine. For all the build up, the two are frozen in place, still slotted against each other. This is it. Kojiro steps off the bike first, his hand coming into Kaoru’s line of vision. Their eyes connect and Kaoru can’t help but smirk. Kaoru puts his hand in Kojiro’s and lets himself be pulled from the bike. He doesn’t let go of Kojiro’s hand, even as he fishes through his pockets for his keys.

Once they finally make it into Kojiro’s apartment, they’re immediately reaching for each other. The kiss is explosive and they greedily paw at each other’s clothes. Kojiro’s jacket doesn’t even make it past the genkan. Kaoru’s hakama are hastily discarded so Kojiro can hoist him into the air, legs wrapping around his bulky frame. He sucks relentlessly on Kojiro’s lips and tongue, digging his fingers into his shoulders.

The pleased noises Kojiro makes are sure to haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. Kojiro steers them into his bedroom, dropping Kaoru gracelessly onto the bed. He wriggles out of his jeans and Kaoru grabs a fistful of his shirt, yanking him down on top of him.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, rolling and writhing together, not an inch of space between them.

Kaoru grabs two handfuls of his plump ass, grinding their hips together in a way so filthy that it has Kojiro practically choking for air. “Kaoru, fuck.” They’re both so hard, panting so heavily into each other’s mouths and they haven’t even gotten to the main event. Kojiro extracts himself from Kaoru long enough to grab the condoms and lube from his side table. Kaoru takes the moment to adjust his ponytail higher on his head and snatches the supplies right from Kojiro’s hands.

“Lay down,” his tone leaves no room for argument and Kojiro scrambles up to the headboard to heed him. “Good boy,” he praises before peeling him out of his boxer briefs and taking every impressive inch of him into his mouth.

He doesn’t even ease Kojiro into it, he’s too greedy. He’s immediately taking him all the way to the back of his throat and hollowing out his cheeks, groaning at the taste.

“Jesus fuck, Kaoru, take it easy,” he cries out, head thrown back. “I’m gonna blow my load before we even get to it.”

“Don’t tell me that your reputation is all bullshit.”

“Hey, give me a break! I’ve waited a long time for you, okay,” he runs his fingers through the ends of Kaoru’s ponytail.

“I’d hardly call that ‘waiting,’ you slept with everyone who fluttered their eyelashes in your direction.” Kaoru rips at the condom package and rolls it on, firmly placing the bottle of lube into Kojiro’s hand. He swings a leg over him, straddling his hips with another filthy grind.

“Of course you even wanna fight during sex,” he laughs into Kaoru’s mouth, pulling him down for a kiss, “can’t believe I expected anything less.”

“Yeah, shame on you,” Kaoru slips his tongue into Kojiro’s open mouth as he sinks a slick finger into his ass. The pressure punches a sharp moan from him, but he quickly relaxes into it, rocking his hips back into Kojiro’s hand.

Kaoru spends the next minutes sucking at every bit of skin he can get his mouth on. He wants to devour Kojiro, leave him without a shadow of a doubt who he belongs to. Kaoru drags the flat of his tongue over one of Kojiro’s nipples, keeping direct eye contact and giving it a few more kitten licks until Kojiro is a restless mess beneath him. He finally, finally sinks back onto Kojiro’s fat cock with a firm nip to his chin. He sits back on his haunches with a luxuriant roll of his neck. He can practically feel him in his throat. “Fuck, you’re huge.”

“God, Kaoru, you can’t say stuff like that,” he is clearly fighting for his life down there, “not if you want me to last.”

Kaoru can’t help but chuckle darkly, “Come on, big boy, I know you can do better than that.” Kojiro thrusts up harshly in retaliation. He takes that as an invitation to start moving, swiveling his hips, grinding down and getting used to the feeling of Kojiro inside of him. Kojiro presses his fingers into the meat of his thighs harshly as they sink into a rhythm.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” Kojiro praises.

He wonders how many people he’s called that.

Maybe they should be going slower. Really relishing in the fact that they’re finally doing this after all this time.

Fuck that actually. They’ve waited long enough. They have all the time to go slow later. Now? Now they can be rabid and ravenous, biting and grabbing at each others’ flesh. That’s more their style anyway.

Kojiro throws his head back with a delicious groan. Kaoru only picks up the pace, riding him like it’s his fucking job.

“Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru…”

God, he could get used to this. He intends to get used to this, to Kojiro’s enormous body entwined with his, warming his bed, his moans, making his eyes roll back in his head just like that.

Kaoru whips his hair to the other shoulder and brings their mouths together again, panting heavily into each other’s mouths, touching foreheads damp with sweat.

“Kaoru… I’m not gonna last, Kaoru.”

He pours a kiss into his mouth. “Give it to me, Koji. Cum.”

He does what he’s told for a change. Liquid white heat runs through his body and seeps into his veins. Kaoru comes long and thick on Kojiro’s heaving chest, having an out-of-body experience or maybe ascending to a higher state of being.

He watches himself take one slender finger and drag it through his mess.

He marks Kojiro with a singular kanji, drawing it right there on his chest.

Mine.

It’s so base of him. And certainly petty. He watches understanding dawn on Kojiro’s face and he worries he’s gone too far.

No. He needs to know.

“No one else.” He leaves no room for argument.

“There never was anyone who could live up to you anyway.” Kojiro agrees all the same, tucking a loose strand of pink hair back behind Kaoru’s ear.

He relaxes and drapes himself along Kojiro’s side, legs still tangled together. Their breathing slowly returns to normal and Kaoru can’t help but smell him. He needs to burn this into his memory in every conceivable way.

Kojiro shifts like he means to get up and start cleaning them off, but Kaoru grips his large bicep and effectively pins him with his gaze.

They can clean up in the morning. For now, they just let it sink in.

#matchablossom #matcha blossom #sk8 the infinity #matchablossom fic #sk8 fanfic #my writing

10 notes · View notes

abcleverun · 2 years ago

Text

In Defense of @xcatxgirlx

There was drama in the Ben 10 fandom ages ago. Little fuzzy on the exact details, but one of the major points of it (from my perspective) was this post.

In the post, my good friend Lenin added joke tags about their headcanon that Ben would grow up to be a multiple-time divorcee, but would eventually get his life together and settle down in a loving marriage with Rook.

I've known Lenin for years, and they often make jokes like this. I know for a fact that they genuinely care about Ben as a character, and I've seen their writing about Ben getting a happy ending. But the catch is, Lenin is also a fairly private person, and they don't often share their work with others unless they're close with them. Edit: Mb, I got this wrong. Lenin was new to the fandom and just started making posts about it. The context was something they provided in Ruby’s old server, but hadn’t shared with others yet.

So since she has no frame of reference, this is where Cat misinterprets the post as a genuine attack on Ben's character. (Double edit: I’m not trying to defend Cat’s behavior here. My point is, I don’t think she’s a monster)

Everyone who knows of Cat knows she's an extremely defensive person, especially when it comes to Ben. So she takes Lenin's comments seriously, making a response siting multiple canonical sources about how Ben is a good love interest.

Now, personally, I think it's reductive to label people as "deranged" or "unhinged" for being attached to a character. This entire drama was centered around ableism, and it's fairly hypocritical to overlook how she's been treated—not just here, but broadly. She's given little to no charity because she's "weird" about Ben. I don't mean to compare, but looking back, it seems that Cat was treated... like she was insane. Just because few people used the words, doesn't mean she wasn't treated like a psycho. It's the kind of hypocritical leftist thought of, "ableism is wrong, (except when someone's being the wrong kind of neurodivergent.)" And I'm not here to diagnose her, but you don't need a diagnosis to understand that, when someone behaves differently, they shouldn't be treated like they're freaks.

But of course, as people will argue, it's mostly about the harm someone does. And people say Cat caused a lot of harm.

So I'm going to say something. And people will almost certainly disagree, but if you have receipts, I'm more than happy to see them! I'd love to, I'm more than willing to be proven wrong!

However, from what I've seen,

She has never made a post attacking a specific person.

All her posts are about taking an argument and breaking it down. Her primary goal isn't to harass anyone, it's to defend Ben.

People talk about harassment campaigns. People often say, "Cat and co."

But, despite everything, she's... shockingly... absent.

She makes a point. She will argue that point. But if things go into ad hominins, or ultimately go nowhere, she will block you. Like she had me blocked, for the longest time.

There were harassment campaigns, but it wasn't her.

Again, people referenced "Cat and co."

So who was co?

Omnicrom was the one who caused this to become something bigger. Omnicrom was the one who never blocked anyone, Omnicrom was the one who called people pieces of shit in human skin, Omnicrom is the one who has a massive harassment post as their pinned post.

But Omnicrom and Cat are friends, right?

Well.

Omnicrom's blog is FULL of them reblogging and replying to Cat's posts. But what's fascinating is, Cat almost never replies back. Cat rarely talks to them, at least publicly.

So if they're not close, then why did Cat never call out Omni's behavior? Well, think about it. What other allies does Cat have? Even if she doesn't care for them, who else is regularly treating her with any kind of civility?

Why would she go out of her way to alienate one of the only people in the fandom treating her in any way that's halfway decent, especially when everyone else thinks she's a monster?

I know I probably don't have the full story. I know there's a lot of pieces that I'm missing. But I think I know enough to confidently say that Cat has been given the shit end of the stick, and a lot of shitty things that other people did have been unjustly pinned on her. It's obvious that Cat has a story behind her, that there's a reason she grew claws. Call me a bleeding heart, but I think she deserves more charitability than she was given.

#ben 10 discourse #ben 10 fandom drama #xcatxgirlx #omnicrom #abclevertalks

28 notes · View notes

sanaexus · 9 months ago

Text

social's as rin's girlfriend

-liked by itoshi_sae, shiidoryu and 121.1k others

yourusername: rin loving something that isn't football (NOT CLICKBAIT GONE WRONG) 😱😱🙀🙀

tagged: rin.itoshi

rin.itoshi: you're acting as if the only thing that's on my mind is football. ↳yourusername: it legit is though ↳isaichii: that IS the only thing in your mind ↳shiidoryu: balls is like the only thing you can think ab ↳hiyori: why did you phrase it like that ↳shiidoryu: bc i felt silly n cute ↳rin.itoshi: hope yall kys.

julian.loki: wow no credits? i'm heartbrocken y/n 💔🙄😭🤬 ↳yourusername: mb bro ↳julian.loki: yes ur bad, i had to watch yall kissing for like 10 minutes like ???

yourusername: picture credits to the amazing (part-time footballer full time photographer) @/julian.loki ↳megubachi: ah yes being surrounded by sweaty men and balls is my fav passtime ↳hiyori: again what the fuck

rin.itoshi: the picture looks a bit weird, maybe we should redo it but with practice? ↳yourusername: 😮 ↳chigi.who: 😮 ↳isaichii: 😮 ↳nikkoki: 😮 ↳shoei.barou: 😮 ↳itoshi_sae: 😮 ↳yourusername: (im omw btw) ↳rin.itoshi: what?

user1: nO WAY BRO'S PICK UP LINE SUMMONED BAROU AND SAE AND THEY USED EMOJIS LIKE ??? ↳user2: FR LIKE THOSE PEOPLE ARE LEGIT GRANDPAS THEY BARELY EVEN USE INSTAGRAM ↳itoshi_sae: fuck off i'm not a grandpa

-liked by chigi.who, karasu_tabito and 152.4k others

rin.itoshi: fuck y'all

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: rin ily but maybe provide some context to the caption pls ↳rin.itoshi: nah ↳yourusername: NAH I'D WIN ↳rin.itoshi: .. ↳yourusername: ok i'm sorry

shiidoryu: bet, when? ↳yourusername: 🤺back🤺you🤺zesty🤺demon🤺 back 🤺 ↳rin.itoshi: blocked.

user3: wait what is the context to the caption? ↳yourusername: his friends were teasing him ab being a shitty bf and only thinking ab football lol ↳rin.itoshi: they aren't my friends, i'm not a shitty bf and i don't only think ab football ↳yourusername: I NEVER SAID aNYTHING I WAS JS EXPLAINING

isaichii: bro got pissed ↳reo.miikage: are we surprised? ↳nagi.seishiro: no

yourusername: ilysm i'm gonna cry ↳rin.itoshi: if it makes you feel better you look rlly pretty when you cry ↳yourusername: screaming crying throwing up rn

eita.otoya: ofc he tried teaching you football and ofc he mentioned it in the post that was supposed to prove he doesn't only think ab football ↳yourusername: he's js a bit silly like that 😝 ↳yourusername: that football training shi was brutal asf imma stick to js watching ↳rin.itoshi: you barely did anything? ↳yourusername: give me a break

-liked by nikkoki, kuniisuke and 124.9k others

yourusername: leave the poor guy alone, he does a perfectly good job at being a bf <3

tagged: rin.itoshi

isaichii: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE LAST SHIRT? NO WAY THAT'S RIN ↳yourusername: YES WAY THAT'S RIN ↳isaichii: ... ↳yourusername: HE'S A SOFTIE FOR ME 🥺💕

rin.itoshi: was the last picture necessary? ↳yourusername: yes ↳rin.itoshi: i fucking hate you ↳yourusername: awww i love you too

user4: the hand placement in the second picture?? it's so cute?? ↳rin.itoshi: she makes it cute ↳chigi.who: what the fuck.

shiidoryu: us when rin? 🥺🥺 ↳rin.itoshi: out of my girlfriend's comments ↳shiidoryu: you didn't say no to us 😏 ↳rin.itoshi: i'd rather admit isagi is better than me then ever be anywhere near you

rin.itoshi: you're so pretty ↳user4: fr like all u do is kick balls how did you pull her ↳yourusername: you're my fav ball kicker dw ↳rin.itoshi: i ask myself that everyday and ofc i'm your fav ↳yourusername: your brother's a close second ↳rin.itoshi: .. ↳yourusername: OK MB I'M SORRY ↳hiyori: FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN NO ONE PROPERLY DESCRIBE SOCCER OR WHAT. ↳mikka.kaiser: football* ↳kenyu.yukimiya: boy if you don't stafu rn

bye i had to repost bc i needed to edit something still had sm writing this

based on this request

917 notes · View notes

allylikethecat · 2 years ago

Note

hi ally 😊

how's ur tuesday going?

my week started weird bc of work but there's a new fic from a new author in the gatty tag and we get eu dates on thursday so things are looking up

(and mb some ally updates? 👀 i miss duckling and fictional!taylor)

💖

Hello 💖! It's lovely to hear from you again!

I'm sorry that your week started off with work weirdness but hopefully things will start looking up! I'll have to check out the new fic! I'm always on the look out for new and exciting works! I reside in the US (and am very excited to see the boys in three different cities!) so the EU dates don't impact me as much- but I hope they align with and work out well for everyone on here! (I will be enjoying watching the recaps on TikTok lol)

In terms of Ally Updates... the next chapter of the A&E fic will hopefully be finished tonight - it has turned into a significantly longer beast than anticipated and I think I need to either just embrace it or do a whole lot of editing and cut it down.

Fictional!Taylor is on the struggle bus right now, but hopefully her, fictional!Matty and their fake relationship will be making their way back to AO3 soon- I have the next chapter about 80% done! Make Way For Ducklings Fictional!Matty is continuing to be extremely dramatic and making life difficult for himself- I'm hoping to get the next chapter there up either late this week or early next week - just depends what real life decides to throw at me! 😊

Thank you so much for reading, your continued support and popping by to say hello! I hope you have a great rest of the week!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #💖#💖 anon #sparkly heart #sparkly heart anon #sparkle heart #sparkle heart anon #fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction #the 1975 rpf #matty healy rpf #matty healy fanfiction #fanfic #ally's status update #keep it kind #thank you so much for sending this in #it made me smile so hard

0 notes

nevertheless-moving · 3 years ago

Text

unproofread itty bitty drabble based on feelings about murderbot and hair below the cut hit me up in mb discord for more feelings about murderbot and hair:

Mensah came outside of the crowded farmhouse to stand beside me in the increasingly cool night air.

I struggled not to tense up, or say anything defensive.

“Noor was very excited about the braids you gave her,” she said casually.

I didn’t say anything.

“They were a good idea, especially with how thick the noseeums are this time of year. And they look lovely.”

This was excruciating. My drone inputs were capturing every moment and I still didn’t know what I was missing. I didn’t even need my assessment modules to read the hesitation on her face, the concern. Why the fuck wasn’t she just saying what I did wrong? I thought we were past this. I thought she knew that I preferred for her to just fucking tell me this shit.

“I just hope you didn’t feel like you had to do that. It would have been perfectly alright to ask Tano to come and help, it wouldn’t have been a bother. Noor’s young, but she’s perfectly capable of understanding the need to wait to play if it affects you.”

Oh. Oh I could see why Mensah would come to that conclusion, even if it was in error.

“I didn’t mind,” I said, starting to relax now that I understood why she was concerned.

She shot my closest drone a skeptical look.

“No, really,” I insisted, sending an amusement sigil through the feed, along with a short clip of Noor seated on a rock and humming patiently to herself while my hands wove through her hair, admittedly faster than a human could probably manage.

“It’s just hair,” I said.

She blinked a few times, processing that while I idly scrolled through my other drone inputs. Noor was still showing off her hair to her siblings. The corners of my mouth twitched up, probably with amusement over Mensah’s uncharacteristic confusion.

“And touching hair is…different than other forms of touch?” she said carefully.

My face likely made an expression at the phrase ‘forms of touch.’ I shrugged deliberately, but clearly that wasn’t enough of an answer because now her gaze was pointedly flickering between two of my drone inputs.

I sighed heavily. “There’s no fluids. There’s no…organic processes. It doesn’t move, let alone unexpectedly. It’s not even technically alive. It was more like grabbing the back of Ratthi’s shirt to keep him out of trouble than anything else, except probably softer.”

Mensah’s eyebrows went up suddenly at that last bit and I squirmed.

“Not in a weird way,” I added quickly.

She smiled. “Noor does have lovely hair,” she agreed. “I always loved washing it when she was little, but she’s getting a bit too big for that now.” She sighed heavily and I wasn’t really sure how to respond.

“So you won’t mind if she asks you to braid it again?”

I rolled my eyes. Given my observation of Noor’s younger offspring’s attention spans, I was fairly confident that the novelty of SecUnit doing hairstyles would wear out by the end of the evening.

Parents sometimes take it personally if you say things that could be considered attacks on their children’s intelligence, even if the children in question are being idiots so I just said “I don’t mind” and figured it wouldn’t come up again.

Just in case I started indexing the hairstyle media clips I had previously pulled from the public feed earlier. Some of them I tagged with different ID’s - this one was similar to the intricate loops Overse had worn at a formal event last year - I had wondered how those had stayed in. And this was a series by a stylist with an extremely similar hair type to Amena, though most of them seemed like far more work than I think she put into aesthetics. Oh and these—

Whatever, I was pretty bored and it was a mildly diverting intellectual exercise.

Obviously no one was going to ask a SecUnit to touch their hair.

#murderbot #nevertheless meta #nevertheless writing #the murderbot diaries #im feral im lost in the sauce #fluff

200 notes · View notes

butgilinsky · 4 years ago

Text

there are answers in your silence // mb

warning; language, asshole (kinda toxic ngl) barzy, a sprinkle of asshole tito too, toxic relationship, mentions of cheating, angst- the whole thing is angst, carter hart

summary; where you and mat are falling apart faster than you can try to fix it.

word count; 8.3k+

a/n: hi guys! this is a rewrite/continuation of this blurb i wrote. the main pairing is mat x reader but there are a lot of carter x reader themes throughout. there won’t be a part two seeing as i don’t normally write for carter, and i like where it left off. if you have any questions i’d be happy to answer any(: enjoy!

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

You loved your job, truly. You loved photography, and you loved the opportunities you’d been given by joining the islanders organization, but you managed to make things messy for yourself. It wasn’t written into your contract that you couldn’t date the players, but it was assumed that you would distance yourself from them.

Mathew Barzal, however, threw caution to the wind when it came to that unspoken rule.

You were knee deep in it by the time you realized it was a bad idea. Most days were fine, the two of you were professional in the walls of the rink and you knew how to keep it under control. On any other day, you were capable of keeping it all under control just fine, but going to the rink and smiling at Mat from across the halls was not the same as coming to the rink when the two of you were neck deep in an argument. An argument that had been oncoming for a long time now.

You couldn’t focus on anything when you were arguing with Mat. You had fallen behind on editing this entire week, and now you were tiptoeing around the rink that you worked at because Mat was everywhere you turned, it seemed.

You kept your post at the glass throughout the entirety of the game against the Devils, trying to get yourself out of your head when Mat was in your camera’s line of sight. You took pictures of the whole team, you had to, it was your job, but it was hard to do that when Mat was smiling like an idiot after Tito scored, and you had to take a picture of their shared celly.

Even when he turned towards you and you sent him a gentle smile, the sight of his falling from his lips was heartbreaking. You knew he was mad at you, but the ache in your chest wasn’t able to recognize the fact that the two of you weren’t on the best terms.

Truth be told, this was anything but out of the blue. Mat had been on edge for a while now, and while you knew it had everything to do with hockey and how he was playing, it wasn’t easy to accept everything he had been continuously throwing at you. You had a lot going on, just like he did, and you didn’t have the time nor energy to exude on this week-long argument. A week long argument that had eventually shifted into radio silence from your boyfriend.

The next few days proved to be harder than you initially expected, no conclusion being found between the two of you. It was getting out of hand, if you were being honest, and now you had to fly to Philadelphia with the team for two games. You didn’t think all that much about the ride over to Philly until you were faced with your boyfriend happily sitting beside his best friend, not a seat for you in sight.

You sat at the front of the plane, shoulder bumping against Marty’s while you kept your head low and hopefully out of sight.

“What’s up with you and Barzy?” you huffed, shrugging gently and telling Matt that he could tell you as soon as he figured it out because at this point, you weren’t entirely sure what the two of you were arguing about either. All you knew was that Mat was mad at you and had been ignoring your calls and texts for the past three days.

It was confusing to most, given that when you and Mat were on good terms, it was impossible to not see the two of you together. You were both all smiles and giggles when you were around each other, but not recently. You were worried that your spark had died out, that whatever you had built over the last year was fading away with every passing moment, and you were out of solutions.

You had been lost in the Wells Fargo Center for upwards of thirty minutes when you ran into a boy who seemed like he could be your saving grace. He had a granola bar hanging out of his mouth and his eyes were glued to his phone screen while he walked down the hall in your direction. You weren’t sure who he was, but the Flyers shirt on his torso paired with the backwards hat on led you to believe he was a player and would therefore know the layout of the rink quite well.

“Hey!” you called out, just loud enough to have him looking up from his phone and over to you. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I have no idea where i’m going.”

He laughed gently and slid his phone into his back pocket, not overlooking the Islanders logo on your shirt or your name tag that hung around your neck. His eyes were soft and his smile was endearing in a time where you barely had anyone else look at you over the last few days.

“No worries, though i’m not sure i should be helping the enemy.” you laughed gently, about to make a remark about the Flyers not being your favorite team either, but he spoke again before you had the chance. “Where do you need to be?”

Some time later after you learned that the boy’s name was Carter and he was the Flyers’ goalie, he showed you everywhere you’d need to be over the next few hours. He pointed out different rooms and halls that would be of great use to you and now the two of you were sitting in the middle of the empty seats, looking down on the empty ice.

“It’s weird, seeing it like this.” Carter whispered softly, more to himself than to you, but it caught your ear nonetheless.

“Not used to seeing it completely empty?” he shook his head, telling you that there’s usually always someone down there. Whether they’re cleaning or moving things around, there’s almost always somebody down there.

“Why are you here all alone, by the way?” you hummed softly, letting out a deep sigh with a smile that Carter was easily able to identify as forced. “Don’t you have a hot shot boyfriend that could show you around?”

“And how would you know that?” your voice was light, playful, and it showed in your smile that Carter easily matched.

“I’m not sure there’s a single person that doesn’t know what Mathew Barzal’s girlfriend looks like.” he tore his eyes away from the rink, looking over at you with a look that had your stomach turning, a lump starting to form in the pit of your throat.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” your voice was soft but the silence across the rest of the rink was enough to lift your words up to his ears, the far corner of his mouth twitching up ever so slightly as he registered them.

“Y/n!” you jumped, startled by the outburst from the top of the section, craning your neck around to lock eyes with your boyfriend. “Where have you been?”

You groaned, one that resided in the back of your throat and was only heard by Carter due to his close proximity. He sensed the agitation in your body language and the way your eyes fluttered shut while you took a deep breath to compose yourself.

“Y/n!”

“I’m coming!” you yelled back, muttering a small ‘jesus’ under your breath before pushing yourself onto your feet. “Well, Mr. Hart, thank you for showing me around. I’d be lost without you, literally.”

He laughed at your joke, though corny he thought it was cute. He shook your hand playfully and watched you climb the stairs to your boyfriend who was glaring at Carter even from his place all the way at the top of the section.

“What are you doing down here?”

“So you’re talking to me now?” His jaw clenched, muscles tensing as he soaked in your question. He had almost forgotten the two of you were arguing currently, too focused on getting you away from Carter to assess the situation properly.

“What am i supposed to do? Watch you cozy up beside the goalie I'm about to score a hatty on?” in any other scenario, you’d be laughing, chirping him for claiming that he was going to score a hatty tonight, but you couldn’t do that right now. All you could do was laugh bitterly, focused on the fact that the only reason he was speaking to you for the first time in three days was rooted in jealousy.

“I wasn't cozying up next to anybody, Mat. I was lost and he had time to spare so he showed me around the rink. That’s all-”

"That’s not exactly how it looked to me just now.” you rolled your eyes and walked past him, ducking around his shoulder and walking in the direction of the room Carter pointed out for you a few minutes earlier. “Y/n! We’re talking!”

“I’m busy! We’ll talk later!”

It felt like you were running across the arena during the game, opting to tie your hair back halfway through the first period when you realized you wouldn’t have your own post like you normally would. You were doing your best to get the best shots you could possibly get, but that unfortunately had you breathing heavily and worn out by the time the second intermission rolled around.

Mat hadn’t scored once yet, and you could tell he was getting aggravated. He was playing rougher than he normally would, and you could see chirps being thrown around the ice, almost always directed towards your boyfriend. He took them in stride most times, only opting for a clenched jaw or maybe a hard hit against the boards.

When the second intermission began, you were given the okay to take a breather from your job while your boss flipped through the photos on your camera, laughing when you opted to lean back in one of the stadium seats with your limbs spread out around you haphazardly.

When you were switching sides for the nth time of the night, you ran into Carter again, decked out in his gear void of his helmet, the same charming smile shining in your direction once he saw you.

“To what do I owe the honor?” he joked, earning a few questioning glances from the few teammates gathered around him, all turning towards you with soft smirks and knowing eyes. They knew who you were, a lot of guys in the league knew who you were.

Everyone knew who Mathew Barzal was, and his need to show you off to the entire world once the two of you began dating was loud and in everyone’s face. Everyone who followed Mat on instagram or opened up a gossip article every now and again knew your face, knew how you looked tucked under Mat’s arm. It also didn’t help that the boys surrounding Carter had heard about his adventure with you around the rink earlier today.

“Well if it isn’t Mrs. Barzal.” You bit the inside of your cheek, holding back the insult tickling the tip of your tongue and deciding to focus on Carter nudging him in the ribs.

“Ignore him, he’s not even sure what the word filter means.” One of the taller ones, hair down to his shoulders and bright blue eyes sending you a gentle look, tried to assure you that his friend was anything but thoughtful in moments like these.

“I guess that’s why they call him the team rat, huh?” Travis, who had no idea you even knew who he was, narrowed his eyes at you just before a small smile stretched across his lips.

“How’s the game?” Carter’s smile practically hung off of his lips, confidence bursting at the seams as he silently referred to the fact that Mat had threatened him with a hatty not too long ago, and the Islanders had only scored once all night long, and it wasn’t even Mat’s.

Going into the third period, the Flyers were up 4-1.

“I plead the fifth.” you said gently, hearing a few laughs erupt all around you.

“Looks like your hubby’s not getting his hatty tonight.” One of the boys who you didn’t know the name of sent you a gentle elbow into your arm, offering up a smile with his chirp.

“Looks like he’s not getting a lot of things tonight.” your eyes found Carter, who was already looking at you with a wide smile. You took a deep breath, prying your eyes away from the boy and looking around the small circle that formed in the hall. “Well, boys, if you’ll excuse me-”

“Y/n!” you sighed then, unable to suppress a physical reaction to having your name yelled across the hall for the second time today. You were annoyed, given that this was only the second time Mat was speaking to you today and it had all of the same intentions as his last attempt.

“Yes?” you turned over your shoulder to see not only Mat but Tito as well, both looking at you as if you’d grown two extra heads. Tito looked to Mat, expecting him to answer your questioning eyes, but he never did. He just stared at you, lips parted but never speaking.

Truth be told, you needed him to say something. You needed him to say something because he was the one that had left you in the dark this week. He was the one that was going through a time so tough he took it out on you. You did your part, but Mat had yet to do his part, and it was killing you on the inside.

“I have to go.” you took off in the direction you were originally walking, searching for your next post in the stands.

You tried to distract yourself, but it didn’t seem to be working. Your hands were shaky while you tried to snap shots as much as you could, and when Mat had a breakdown on the ice, it all went even further downhill.

Carter didn’t take the brute of it, which surprised you in all honesty, but you weren’t all that surprised when your number 13 was going hit for hit with their 11. Gloves were dropped in the last three minutes of the game, both of them walking away with sore knuckles and five minute majors.

You weren’t even sure what started it, seeing as you were trying to snap a picture of Tito taking a shot on goal, the other two dropping their gloves on a different part of the ice and out of your view. You couldn’t watch it, instead dug your chin into your chest and tugged on the roots of your hair in frustration. You knew that the Flyers were going to win, given their four goal lead and the Islanders’ inability to get their shit together it seemed. You knew Mat was going to hit a rough practice tomorrow, and it somehow made you more excited to have a hotel room to yourself and the morning off.

You didn’t see Mat until you got back to your room, shoulders slumped and exhaustion raking through your body. You pushed the door to your room open and jumped a foot in the air at the sight of your boyfriend sitting at the foot of the bed, hands clasped together in his lap and head hung low. He was anxious, you could tell by his posture and the fact that he wouldn’t meet your eyes.

A sick feeling resided in your stomach when a minute passed and neither of you spoke up, both waiting for the other to take the leap. Mat tried to collect his thoughts, despite having plenty of time to do so while he waited for you. He wasn’t even sure how he made it back before you, if he was honest.

“Where have you been?” it was a bad lead in retrospect, given that he showed no real care as to where you were at any other point in the week. That on top of the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place made for a bad start to a hard conversation.

“Working, Mat. I do more than snap pictures of the team at games and run back home.” he knew that. He knew because he’d been the one that woke up in the middle of the night to you relentlessly editing things and piecing things together for a deadline. He was the one that woke up to an empty bed, finding you posted up at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee beside you and your head burning from the strain on your eyes.

You didn’t, however, tell him exactly what you were doing. You were working, yes, but you kept specifics to yourself. He didn’t deserve specifics when he was acting like this. You deserved an apology, an explanation, quite literally anything more than you currently had before you had to give out your whereabouts.

“I’m sorry this week’s been the way it has. I just- there’s a lot going on right now and I can’t get it all under control.” you sighed, setting your camera bag down on the desk before standing in front of Mat

“It’s fine if you don’t have things under control all the time.” you set your hands on his shoulders and waited for him to look up at you, eyes filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite map out. “It’s not fine that you take things out on me when I didn’t cause you this distress.”

“I know.” he spoke softly, understanding that he was doing something wrong but not entirely providing a solution for it, nor figuring out a way to fix it. “I’m going to figure it out. I’m sorry.”

You nodded, accepting the soft kiss he silently asked for. You let him stay the night, though you couldn’t fall asleep. You leaned back into his chest, held his arm that was wrapped around you close to your chest, but you couldn’t sleep. You didn’t sleep for more than an hour or two before Mat’s alarm went off and he left for practice.

You were able to sleep after Mat left, only logging about three hours before your own alarm went off and you had to make it to the rink. The day seemed to be uneventful for a while, but when you finished all of the things you had to do for the day and found a seemingly decent restaurant to stop in on your way back to the hotel, you were met with four smiling faces that you recognized easily.

“Y/n!” Carter’s voice caught your ear easily, making you spin around in line, seeing the smiling boy give you a gentle wave from the table he was sitting at with the others, all who offered you a similar expression.

You held up one of your fingers, seeing four boys nod at you in response as they waited for you to order your food. By the time you ordered and paid, grabbing the number that the cashier slid across the counter to you and spinning around, there was a chair at the end of the table that Travis was sitting in, leaving the spot in the booth beside Carter vacant. All four of the boys were pointing at the seat, ushering you into it with wide smiles.

“Well this is a pleasant surprise.” you smiled warmly at the boys as you approached their table, sliding into the seat they vacated for you.

“You’re telling us.” Carter offered, his smile cutting through you just like it did every other time it was given to you.

Carter was cute, that much you could admit to. You hadn’t spent much time with him other than the other day when showed you around the rink, but you’d talked to him more than your own boyfriend in the past week so that was saying something. You were grateful for his hospitality, and even if you knew there was something else brewing beneath the surface, it wasn’t anything you were going to acknowledge and you certainly weren’t going to act on it.

The rest of the boys were nice. Travis was a bit of a pest, but Nolan was able to keep him under control most of the time. They balanced each other out and you were aware of that from the very beginning. Joel was a nice kid, not the loudest in the room but certainly not the quietest either. Overall you had a good time sitting with and talking to them, appreciating the good company in a time where you had felt pretty isolated.

They showed you a few places around Philly, sticking things within walking distance of the restaurant the five of you came from. It was fun, being able to forget about the chaos going on in your life for once. They even walked you back to your hotel, leaving you with each of their phone numbers to assist you in the rest of your time in Philly, and warm smiles.

Just as they were leaving, Carter hung back for a bit to offer you a softer smile than the one he was giving you throughout the day, his eyes telling you that there was something brewing in his mind, something he had been holding back about all day.

“I just wanted to say that you’re doing great. I don’t know what’s going on in your life, that much is obvious, but you deserve better.” he gave you one last smile and told you to call him if you needed anything at all before turning to catch up with his teammates.

Carter’s words hung in your mind longer than you would’ve expected. They made you rethink everything that had occurred in your life over the last few months, every up and down, every bridge you built both by yourself and with others. You wondered if you were where you were supposed to be, if this is where you were meant to be in life and how long you were meant to be there.

You loved Mat. You loved him completely, but there were things missing. You weren’t sure what it was, and part of you wanted to believe that you were just in the middle of a rough patch, but a greater part of you knew better. You knew that Mat was going through the thick of it, and your mind couldn’t help but wander over the chance that the time for you and Mat had run its course.

You went another night without sleep, the stress from overthinking yourself into oblivion making it impossible to get any consistent sleep throughout the night. It showed in the way that your bags were deeper, darker than normal and the way you yawned every few minutes. However, instead of dozing off in your seat or complaining about your lack of sleep, you grabbed a coffee with two extra shots of espresso on your way to the rink and threw yourself into your work.

You were neck deep in assignments, legs tucked under you and headphones stuck in your ears when a flash of blue entered your sight, prying your eyes away from your laptop and casting them up to the blue eyed boy from Quebec. He was looking at you like you’d done something wrong, like the world was on fire around you and you were holding a match.

You and Tito were good friends, especially after you started dating Mat. with the two of them being inseparable and Mat making a special place for you in his life, you and Tito naturally spent a lot of time together. You were good friends, honestly, but there was never a time when Tito took your side over Mat’s. Sometimes he passed judgment without hearing every side of every story, but you understood. You knew that Mat needed people to lean on when the two of you were in the thick of it, you just wished it didn’t morph Tito’s opinion on you.

“What can I do for you, Beau?” he hummed, a noise of disapproval that you had heard from him too many times to count. He sat beside you, not surprised to see you shut your laptop and turn your attention towards him.

“The two of you need to figure this out soon. You need to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it, and by god you need to get him out of his head.” You could tell his intentions were genuine, that he just wanted his friends to be happy, but he wanted the two of you to be happy together, and you weren’t sure there was any more room for that.

“I’ve tried, Beau-”

“No, you haven’t. You haven’t tried, because when the two of you try, things get resolved.”

“You’re right. When the two of us try, we fix things. When the two of us work through things together, we come out of it alive. But you’re missing the big picture, Tito. the two of us aren’t trying. I’m trying. I’ve been trying. I try so hard, and he gives me absolutely nothing. He ignores me for days, only speaks to me when we fly out to a different city and he sees me interacting with somebody who isn’t him. It’s not my fault, Tito, and I know that’s hard for you to see because you’re so far up his ass that you can’t see the bigger picture but here I am. I’m here telling you how to see things for once and I’m begging you that you just hear me out.”

He was speechless, but nodded. He didn’t know what to say to you, but he wanted to hear you out because the crack in your voice and the exhaustion that was bringing tears to our eyes was breaking his heart right in front of you.

“I’m trying, whole heartedly. I ask what’s wrong and I offer solutions, and he takes none of it. He comes into my hotel room with a key, that I'm not even sure how he got, and he tells me he’s sorry but then nothing changes. He stopped coming over after practices, and gets annoyed when I have deadlines I can’t miss. I try and he doesn’t, and if that makes us fall apart then so be it, Tito, because I can’t fucking do it anymore.” your eyes burned, filled to the brim with tears you tried to suppress as Tito looked at you like you were fragile. He looked at you like you were the broken one, like if he even touched you on the shoulder you’d break into a million pieces.

“Y/n-”

“I have to go.” you stood up, grabbing your things that sat around your seat and took off in any direction that looked safe enough for you to escape the headspace you were slipping into.

You’d made it down one hall and around a few corners before you ran into somebody, the impact shaking you enough to have you distracted from the intrusive thoughts you were having. You looked up, met with soft eyes and a look of concern that had your heart sinking further into your stomach than it already had been. His hands reached out, brushing hair out of your face and holding your head back long enough for him to try to piece together what could be wrong.

“What happened?” your lip wobbled then, enough for your chin to twitch and have you bite down roughly on your bottom lip.

Carter grabbed your hand, the one that wasn’t gripping onto your laptop, and pulled you into a room not too far from your place in the hall. It was a small room, only met for equipment that had no other home, but it was enough to get you out of the wide open hallway where anyone would be able to see the breakdown you were about to endure.

He pried the items out of your arms, set them on the shelf beside you so your mind would be at ease with their safety, and wrapped his arms around you. He didn’t know you very well, but he saw the way you reacted to physical touch. He saw the way you leaned into hugs or shook people’s hands for a second longer than most. He made a judgment call within seconds, but he knew he did the right things when you pressed your face into his chest and let out sobs that you’d been holding back for weeks.

He didn’t pester you nor rush you, just held you in the room that could be classified as a closet and let you get everything out. You clung to him, and he held you softly, hands running up and down your back in a soothing manner while he waited for you to catch your breath.

When you did, he pulled back, soft smile still as heavy as it always had been. He waited for your cue, something to tell him it was okay to pry. He didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, and he had no idea where the lines were drawn so it was a dangerous game.

“It’s too much.” you whispered softly, closing your eyes gently while Carter hummed, not entirely understanding your words.

“What’s too much?”

“Everything. Everyone’s expectations, everyone’s thoughts and opinions. The fact that i’m trying to fix a relationship all on my own and still getting the heat for it not working out. Having a full time job where I can’t run away from problems in my personal life. I wish I was still in college, wish I wasn’t surrounded by these people who are staring at me like I’ve burned down the entire planet when I’m the only one that’s trying to save it.”

He listened the whole way through, not interrupting nor giving his unwarranted thoughts and while it was just a common courtesy, it was groundbreaking for you. To be able to pour out everything you’re feeling and thinking without someone trying to pick your brain on the subject was refreshing. You couldn’t remember the last time you put everything out on the table like that without seeing it knocked off right after.

“Hey” you looked up at him, sniffling softly and watching his lips turn up in a smile at the sound. “You’re okay. It’ll all be okay. If you feel invalidated or uncomfortable in the situation you’re in, there’s always an out. Even if it feels like there’s not, even if it feels impossible to claw your way to the exit, there’s always a way out. And if you need help getting there, I know a guy or two who’d be willing to help.”

Carter had a way of knocking you off of your feet with a simple sentence. His words cut through you like a song you’d never heard before, like lyrics that dig so deep you feel like it was written just for you. Carter was picking your brain in the gentlest way possible, and you were eating up every single second of it.

You thanked him for his comfort, for his ear and his wisdom. You were sure that there were things you would have to do in the coming days that would be harder than you could’ve ever imagined, but you were sure that they were necessary in order to better your life for yourself.

You were going to get through this.

All was said and one until the door swung open and you stepped out of the equipment room, locking eyes with the one person on the Flyers bench that didn’t know the meaning of the word silence. Travis meant well most of the time, truly, but that didn’t mean you’d spill all of your secrets to him.

But he smiled at you softly, noticing your red rimmed eyes and tear tracks on your cheek. He saw the look that Carter gave him from behind you and so he simply put his fingers up to his lips as if locking them shut and tossed the key over his shoulder. It was simple, but effective, and he truly had every intention of keeping the knowledge to himself, until he was standing on the ice face to face with the centerman that dropped his gloves opposite him the other night and well, Tk found an opening.

You weren’t sure what was said, nor who started it, but you were sure that in the middle of the second period with a tied game, tensions were not high enough for there to be multiple scrums on the ice.

No other fight mattered until your eyes locked in on Mat saying something, neck vein popping out and spit flying. Whatever he said must have struck a chord with Travis because in an instant, you saw Travis’s lips moving and Mat’s fist flying. It was his second fight in two games and it was highly unlike him to fight this often, but it seemed that he was on edge.

The tension didn’t boil down for the rest of the game, chirps only growing more intense and penalties being called more often than not. It was a head banger, a nail biter, and you were almost distracted from your work to watch it.

Mat was enraged by the time you got to him. His body picked up a couple more cuts and bruises, one that landed on his right cheek bone from a high stick in the beginning of the third. His knuckles were bruised from punching Tk and his eyes were darker than the bright blue color you adored.

You knew it had everything to do with you when the rest of the team sent you careful looks, both of disapproval and warning. You knew something was wrong, something had happened and you were unintentionally standing in the middle of it. When Tito passed you, a scoff dropping from his lips and his shoulder knocking yours gently, you knew it was bad.

“Beau?”

“Oh I'm not helping you out of this one.” he said softly, a careful look thrown over his shoulder at Mat who was glaring at you from his place against the wall. “You have to go fix that one by yourself.”

You wanted to shove him away from you, wanted to tell him that he was being ridiculous and unfair, but you didn’t. Instead, you let him grab his back and walk out towards the bus that would take you all to the airport.

“Mat-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” his voice was low and dark, an animosity dripping from his tongue that you’d never heard him use before. He walked past you, leaving the rest of the guys to let out low whistles and shoot you apologetic looks because in retrospect, they witnessed what happened on the ice. You still had no idea.

“It’s bad, y/n.” You looked over at Marty who stood a few feet away from you, throwing his bag over his shoulder and shooting you a careful look. “I’ve never seen him so mad.”

You sighed and thanked him, giving him one more thanks when he said he’d save you a seat on the plane and took off after Mat. he wasn’t too far ahead, but his angry strides took him far enough to send you into a jog through the facility.

“Mat, wait! Mat! Jesus, Mat just talk to me!” he paused in stride, turned on the balls of his feet and glared into you from his place across the hall.

“Frankly, I don’t want to hear it, y/n. I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want to be round you. I want you to leave me the fuck alone.” he went to turn again, hoping that that was good enough to get you off of his back for now.

“So we’re just going to ignore it until it blows over? That’s not going to fix anything Mathew!” he dropped his bag, loud and harsh against the tile beneath his feet. He spun around and strode up to, face to face with mere inches between you.

“There’s nothing to fix. You made your point, you chose your side, and you chose to throw me out to the wolves like I never meant anything to you. So yes, we’re going to ignore it for now but no, it won’t blow over. If you wanted to fix things you shouldn’t be shacking up with goalies in closets.”

“I wasn’t shacking up with anybody in a closet you douche. I was crying in that closet because you’re too stubborn to talk to me. I’m trying so hard, and you’re giving me absolutely nothing to work with. You send Beau to convince me to fix things but you’re not even trying, Mat! You’re the one ignoring me and I’m supposed to fix things?”

“You’re not supposed to cheat on me!” you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to suppress the emotions bubbling over currently. You were trying to get through this conversation but it was defeating, and having him yell at you in front of his entire team was not helping.

“I didn’t ch-”

“That’s bullshit! You expect me to believe you were just hanging out in there for fun?”

“She was crying, dude.” Mat looked over your shoulder at the same time you let out a string of profanities under your breath. Why he was here right now, you had no idea, but you had a feeling it wasn’t going to help any.

“You’ve got some nerve to be here right now.” Carter shrugged, showing no intimidation towards Mat at all. He wasn’t scared, wasn’t backing down, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stand by and watch Mat scream at you for something you didn’t even do.

“You’ve got some nerve to scream at her like that.” When Mat moved you pressed both of your hands into his chest, steady and hard enough to keep him in his place, not even taking a step towards Carter.

A silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable like polluted air that clogged your lungs. Everyone could feel it but nobody made a move. Nobody stood up or down, not weighing in to the conversation with a viewpoint on either side. Everyone simply watched, waiting for you or Mat to say something to the other one, or maybe for you to say something to Carter.

Mat looked down at you, eyes still dark as they were earlier, jaw clenched and breathing fairly regular. He looked angry, angrier than he ever was off the ice. You wanted him to know you didn’t do anything with Carter, nothing more than crying into his chest about problems like the one you were currently stuck in. But then he spoke, he spoke and you felt everything around you wither away.

“Get on the bus right now, or we’re through.” he picked up his bag and gave both you and Carter one final glance before taking a few steps backwards. He was waiting for you to move, waiting for you to choose your side right here, right now.

“Y/n.” Carter’s voice was much more gentle than Mat’s, giving you a break from the screaming and crying. It broke his heart when you glanced over your shoulder and showcased red rimmed eyes and wet cheks just like you had earlier. He knew you were hurting, knew you were in a sticky situation that you couldn’t find your way out of, and all he wanted to do was help.

“Now, y/n.” you looked back at Mat, who had stopped walking by now and was raising his eyebrows in your direction.

It was harder than it should’ve been. You’d known Carter for just over 48 hours and while you appreciated everything he had done for you in the short amount of time, Mat was your boyfriend. Mat was there in times you thought you’d never make it out of. He knew you, knew how you operated. He knew things about you that you didn’t even know about yourself, and he held a piece of your heart in his hands, even if he didn’t protect it the way he used to.

You couldn’t walk away from Mat, but there was a hesitation in your movements. Your slow movements as you wiped your cheeks and walked towards him, head hung low and accepting the arm that was thrown around your shoulders.

You didn’t turn to see Carter’s face, didn’t even look up to see Mat’s. You didn’t want to see either of them, didn’t want to talk to them or hear what they had to say. All you wanted right now was to crawl into your bed at home and cast out the world around you.

“You made the right choice, baby.” The kiss that dug into the side of your head was anything but comforting, if anything it was degrading. It was his way of showing you that choosing him was the easier path, that he would’ve flipped the world completely upside down if you had turned on your heels moments ago.

You and Mat didn’t come to a conclusion that night. You didn’t resolve anything nor did you truly talk about anything. Instead, you let him into your bed and you let him drive away the pain that he caused over the course of the last few weeks. You let him convince you he’d be better, that he loved you and he’d do anything to be there for you. You let him convince you that he was the one for you, that nobody could make you feel the things that he did and while you believe all of this at one point, you weren’t sure you still did.

You added another night to the count of sleepless ones, basking in your thoughts and the ache in your chest after Mat dozed off. Having him just behind you was oddly comforting despite the fact that thoughts in your head were too loud for sleep.

Another week went by before anyone said anything, despite the few Flyers that were blowing your phone up with messages to check if you were okay and ask why you went with Mat when he clearly didn’t deserve an ounce of your attention. You explained that you loved him, that he was your boyfriend and you owed him a clean break if that’s what ended up happening. You also worked with the Islanders, and you couldn’t just stay in Philly with no way to get back home and hours away from work.

Carter had been receptive and understanding, though you weren’t sure you expected much else from him. He didn’t expect you to stay, didn’t even expect you to choose him over Mat, but he expected you to do better for yourself. He expected you to be strong for yourself, to offer yourself a better future than the one you were seemingly drawing up for yourself.

It wasn’t until you got a peculiar phone call that you were even thrown out of the routine of clawing your way through the night and chasing it down with a large coffee and one too many espresso shots.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Ms. Y/l/n?”

“This is she.”

“Hi Ms. Y/l/n, this is Chuck Fletcher with the Philadelphia Flyers. I was wondering if you had a minute to talk.”

You did a 180 after that phone call, pressed with another decision to make and seemingly no time to make it. You didn’t have many people to turn to about the decision, seeing as most all of your friends were biased in their decision making. Your friends loved Mat. They loved Mat and they loved going to Islanders games.

You called Carter after you hung up the phone, anger bubbling over to the point of tears by the time he answered the phone just to let you rip into him. You accused him of getting you the job as the Flyers’ photographer just to have you closer to him, just to pry you away from Mat and New York as a whole. You accused him of not even knowing your skill level, just using this as a ploy to ask you on a date if you showed up.

He listened the whole time, waited for a break in your words to ask if you were serious, to tell you that he’d seen your portfolio because his GM brought it over when he noticed Carter had spoken to you. He told you that he had no say in you getting this job offer other than him telling his GM about the sincere interactions he’d had with you. He put in a good word for your personality, but he never made a comment about your skill level.

Now, you had a decision to make. A decision that would lead to many other decisions, so you thought. You thought you’d have to make a yes or no decision that would snowball into so many decisions you’d be left to suffocate in unanswered questions. Little did you know that by making one decision, the rest were made for you.

“You’re doing what?” you sighed, trying to find the point in this conversation where you’d be left with a new job and a happy relationship, but it seemed as though that wasn’t in the cards for you.

“I’m moving to Philly-”

“It’s because of him isn’t it?” you shook your head gently, feeling the weight of the world trying to shove you beneath the surface. It was weighing you down, pushing you further and further until you reached the core of it all.

“It’s because it’s a better job for me, Mat.”

“How in the hell is a better job for you?” he didn’t believe you. Not after everything that happened. He didn’t think there were possibly any other explanations for your move.

“It pays more, the cost of living is cheaper in Philadelphia, I get more benefits with the Flyers and I get-”

“A new boyfriend.” you paused, took a deep breath. You tried to breathe through the panic coursing through your body, tried to assure yourself that you must have heard him wrong.

“A what?”

“If you move to Philly, you get a new boyfriend. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You don’t want me anymore, you want him. So he gets you a big new fancy job and you get to leave New York, right? Because you didn’t want to live in New York your whole life so this is the time to get out. This is the time for you to leave your life behind, to start fresh and meet new people. It’s time for you to start looking for studios, right? For you to start booking freelance shit.”

He comes to the realization too late, when he’s already said enough things to hurt you for a lifetime. He realizes that you moving makes more sense than he wants it to. You never wanted to stay in New York for your whole life. Sure, if things with Mat ended up better than they did, you would’ve stayed for him in a heartbeat. You would’ve gone wherever his career took him because yours can truly be done anywhere, but he knew New York wasn’t your preferred state to live in.

The Mat you fell in love with, the one that took you on dates to your favorite restaurants and brought you home flowers just because, was finally coming back to the surface. The one that offered you his heart on a platter without asking for it, and treated yours with the gentlest touch. You were seeing him again, for the first time in a long time. You wanted to hold onto him, to open up your heart and make room for him again but the truth was there was no more room. You’d vacated a space for him a long time ago and he threw it away. It was too late for that Mat to come back.

“It’s giving you room to grow right? But the growth is different this time. The growth is away from me, apart from me. The growth is individual now, all on your own, but that’s good. That’s good because you need to grow and I- I’m not right for you anymore.” he started shaking his head, letting the dam of tears that he had kept in for so long finally burst.

You were there to catch him, to hold him tightly and kiss his damp cheeks. You were there to assure him that he deserves the world, that you tried to give that to him but truthfully, maybe you just weren’t trying the right things. You assured him that he wasn’t a bad person, that he wasn’t good for you but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be good for somebody else.

You were there to catch Mat when he fell, and you helped him stand back up again.

Now you were walking away, your head held high and a smile finally living on your lips as you assured him that this was good for both of you in more ways than one. You were going to be okay, and you were sure that Mat was going to be okay too.

So you moved to Philly. You moved into an apartment not too far from the rink, one with a cheese steak place right around the corner. You started working with the Flyers and seemingly fell right into place with them. You made friends and found your footing, feeling like everything leading up to now was exactly for this. All of the pain and hardships you endured was for this, for you to feel like you had finally done the right thing for yourself rather than for everyone else.

You made the right decision.

italics mean it wouldn’t let me tag you!

barzy taglist; @extratragic @babytkachuks @heybarzy @teenagekook @stfukie @smit41 @kiedhara @sidscrosbyy @golfergirl810 @baby-cat-nol-pat @c-hartsy @storiesbymads @aasimarr @bucky-ish

and the himbos, as always; @barzysthighs @damndunner @anxietyandtacos @dmonchld @sortagaysortahigh @bricksatlandyswindow

#mathew barzal #mat barzal #mathew x reader #mathew barzal imagine #barzy #new york islanders #islanders #isles #carter hart #carter hart x reader #mathew barzal x reader #carter x reader #philadelphia flyers #flyers #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

419 notes · View notes

aeonmagnus · 3 years ago

Photo

Happy 20th Anniversary Robots In Disguise!

This year, and today in particular, marks the 20-year anniversary of Transformers Robots in Disguise airing in the United States. This was the official English language dub of the Japanese show Transformers Car Robots, which aired in Japan the year before. This show and it’s accompanying toy line were a big shift in the Transformers brand and affected how things moved forward in the new millennium. It was also a big influence on me and this website in it’s early years, so both the brand and TFW2005 may not be what it is today without it.

We hope you will read on after the break to check out our celebration of Robots in Disguise on it’s 20th!

Intro

The following is not a comprehensive article on the show proper, but rather a trip down memory lane from my personal perspective. It was a period of change in my life, in the fandom, in the brand, and in the world – all happening at once. Robots in Disguise was smack dab in the middle of it all and I think that’s why it still resonates with me all these years later. For a deeper dive into the world of Robots In Disguise you can check RIDForever.info, a site I maintain just about RID and Car Robots. The 2021 updates are here, and the 2017 round of updates are here. I’d also suggest checking the TFWe issue all about RID over on the 2005 Boards. Now, onto today’s festivities…

The Show

RID, and yes I say RID as if it is the only RID. If you must reference that other RID show and it’s off-shoots, refer to it as RID 201x, thanks. 😊 RID aired during the Fox Kids programming block on a Saturday morning, with additional episodes set to air each weekday during the afternoon hours. Instead of stretching the show out over the course of 30+ weeks with only a new ep each weekend, they were going to blaze through it non-stop. By the end of the first week, we would have been 7 eps in. That however hit a big roadblock due to 9/11 just three days later. While some local markets did air the episodes, many larger city networks, and especially east coast markets, stuck with news coverage. Many of us did not catch the early episodes on TV the first go around. In addition, several of the episodes got pulled from TV due to depictions of buildings being destroyed and other similar visuals which understandably could upset children that just experienced 9/11. So right off the bat, the new millennium and new era of Transformers were dealing with a new reality.

The show, for those that don’t know – was a weird one-off in Transformers history. We had G1 and then the G2 remixes for a bit. Beast Wars came on the scene and ran all the way through 2000 with it’s successor – Beast Machines. During the Beast Wars era – Japan did a couple of their own Beast Wars shows, non-CGI extensions of what we saw in the US. Their market wasn’t quite ready for full CGI so they stuck with traditional anime. When Hasbro decided to continue Beast Wars into Beast Machines, Takara went a completely different way – a traditional animated show which brought back Autobots and “Decepticons”, mixing them in with the beasts. They focused the toys on a couple new and complex molds, then filled the rest of the line with repaints of previous toys. Old 2nd tier Beast Wars toys, G2 Laser Prime, and even some Generation 1 molds in the form of the Combaticons got new life as new characters in this show, capped with the biggest TF of them all at the time – a repainted G1 Fortress Maximus, now Brave Maximus. It was the prototype for what the Transformers brand did for years to come – repainting old toys into new characters. Universe, Classics, Botcon, and even some Generations runs used this method to give us some great toys in the 00s.

While there is a very complicated and long explanation for how every single Japanese show is one continuity, to someone casually starting with Car Robots it was a refresh, a new story, a new arrival on Earth. The Autobots vs the Predacons, and eventually the Combatrons/Decepticons. It was a hard cut from the last 5 years or so of CGI Beasts. Hand drawn traditional animation featuring vehicle Transformers. It wasn’t G1, but many of the folks who grew up with G1 were just getting out of college around this time. They were rediscovering their childhood love of Transformers through Beast Wars, flea market finds, raids on their parents’ attics and basements, and for the internet savvy – imports of Japanese reissues from Takara. It was a perfect storm of nostalgia; a return to Autobots and Decepticons was welcomed by kids and adults alike.

RID and TFW2005

In the years leading up to Car Robots, I was just getting into the internet, coding, design, some digital music, and all the possibility that came with it. Beast Wars, especially when it hit Season 2/3 and the inclusion of G1 lore, really got me focusing on Transformers again as a hobby. I eventually combined the two newfound hobbies into one and Transformer World 2005 was born. At no point did I ever think it would last 20+ years and take over my life in the way it did. I started the full version of TFW2005 around April 2000, with some starts and stops before that. That was right around when Car Robots started airing in Japan. Through the magic of 56k internet, I was able to connect with folks in Japan and get them to send me VHS tapes of Car Robots. Really nice, high-quality tapes too, I still have them hehe. To the younglings reading – try to picture this: no youtube, no video sharing. The concept of streaming anything did not exist yet. Napster and the eventual peer to peer stuff hadn’t fully kicked off. Plus, we were all viewing the internet on giant computers in our rooms at the speed of 1x on your phone. Less than 1 bar 3G mobile speeds today.

Yes, someone recorded episodes from TV to video tape over there, did that a couple weeks at a time, then physically mailed them across the world to me, who then got them on the internet. Can you imagine waiting weeks to watch an episode of TV the size of a twitter profile avatar? Crazy. Uploading a full episode to the internet was a big pain in the ass, not easily done. I decided to get a converter that allowed me to plug my VCR into the computer and encode the tape into digital format. From there, it was reduced using Microsoft’s WMV technology so that the episodes were about 5 MB each. 30 minute episodes at 5MB each. Dimensions – 176 x 144 pixels. 4k video today – 3840 x 2160 pixels. You can imagine that video looked like crap. But we didn’t care – we were blown away. Old school animation, vehicles, some cool Japanese anime vibes, it was what we as G1 fans kinda had in the back of our heads on what Transformers should be in a new era, and we were seeing it. Most of us had no clue what they were saying or what was going on. Also didn’t care. I still to this day think CR/RID is better like that.

So one of the first things TFW2005 did on the internet was provide these super small windows into Car Robots and what was going on in Japan. It helped get US fans hyped up for what Transformers could be. It got us wanting the toys, and importers bringing the Takara toy line over were moving serious product. It helped swing Hasbro, who was planning to return to Autobots and Decepticons again down the road, to move that schedule up. Instead of running Beast Machines until 2002 and then starting what we now know as the Unicron Trilogy, it was cut short. Robots in Disguise as a toy line and show came over in 2001, ran fast and hard for a year with non stop releases, got extended because it did so well, and then faded into the Universe line of repaints. The new millennium of Transformers was here and Robot In Disguise kicked it off with a bang.

Wrap Up

As we all continue with collecting Transformers now, regardless if you tagged into the fandom during G1, Beasties, the Unicron Trilogy, the Movies, or just yesterday – let’s take the time to give Car Robots and RID some props! It set the tone for what the new millennium of the brand would be. It gave us some toys ahead of their time. It solidified the repaint as an accepted thing in the hobby. And it gave us one crazy 39 episode run of TV that’s still a fun ride 20 years later.

For those that would like to learn more about RID and Car Robots – I still maintain a Robots in Disguise website that archives everything I have or came across. There is a lot there if you want to go on a tour of all the awesome Car Robots and Robots In Disguise era stuff. Check it out at RIDFOREVER.INFO! FIYAH!

Let us know what you think and remember from the good old days of RID on the 2005 Boards here!

Epilogue

If someone over there at Hasbro is reading – can someone please figure out who owns the rights to the show in the US market and then get it out on DVD in full, finally? Work all that funky licensing stuff out (if there is any) and get it done. The US has never had access to it via an official release. Maybe get it up on YouTube like G1? Something. Announcing plans for that before the end of 2021 would be a nice 20th anniversary tribute.

#Transformers #Transformers: Robots in Disguise #20th Anniversary #Robots in Disguise #Optimus Prime #Megatron #Car Robots #Transformers: Car Robots

57 notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 4 years ago

Text

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

#YGO #yugioh #yu gi oh #Yuugi Muto #Jounouchi #Honda #Anzu #Miho #yo yo gang #Hirotani #Yuugi and the gang do serious property damage

27 notes · View notes

grimbeak · 4 years ago

Text

,,,,I was thinking ab @elementalmasteroffandom ‘s villain Jay theory again ((also im so sorry queen i keep bothering you and tagging you hhhh)) and like. I was thinking about how mb Jay would die at the end of the season, probably killed by mostly accident by Kai, the one who tends to insult him most, or by all the ninja combined, confirming the fact that he thinks they all hate him.

So, the ninja go back to their island home probably all depressed and more than a bit traumatized (although that isn’t new), while Jay is dead.

But...

We don’t know much about the tribe, so I was thinking ((this is mostly to vent my own ideas, I find this incredibly unlikely to actually happen.)), what if they have a way to bring back the dead?

But there’s a price.

So Jay gets brought back as a ghost... with no memories of fighting the other ninja, going evil, or how he died. This would defin be very interesting to see, as all the ninja would kind of have to skirt around him and avoid telling him what actually happened on the island- he’d probably find out anyway, from his memory returning or a tribe member telling him towards the end of the season.

Anyway here’s some long drabbles for it

Just after Jay gets brought back:

Jay blinks awake, squinting at the sun in his eyes. “What...” He pushes himself up, not exactly...

Not exactly sure how he got here.

Glancing around, he can see... the ocean. And sand. He’s probably on a beach, then, or Zane had gone haywire again and filled the training room with sand and water. That had been a weird Tuesday.

He looks around. There isn’t anyone else there, which was weird, considering he has absolutely no memory of how he got here. There’s a sort of... numb feeling, to his entire body, and it’s starting to make Jay very uncomfortable. Plus, there’s the fact that he can’t exactly feel the sand underneath him, despite his entire back probably being covered in it. Oh, gosh, he hopes he doesn’t have sand in his hair. That takes forever to get out.

He swipes at his head, and-

Nothing.

He can... Jay can feel his hand on his hair, feel the pressure of it, but not the texture. It’s like he’s-

His arm is green and see-through.

Jay looks down. He can see the sand through his gi, slightly darker tinted.

He pats the sand. Nothing. He can see the imprint that his fingers left on it, but he can’t feel it.

...OK. This is fine. This is perfectly fine.

“Alright. OK. We can... we can figure this out.” Why is he saying we, there’s no one else here.

There’s no one else here.

He’s alone.

Alone and a ghost, and how is he a ghost, and hey at least he’s far enough away from the water, and also why doesn’t he remember dying? Do you remember dying? Did he even die? Cole... Cole didn’t die, not really, he just became a ghost for a while.

...Jay doesn’t even remember how he got here, and if that’s not concerning enough, the last thing he remembers is arriving on the island. Then it’s just a blank. He vaguely remembers something about lightning, a bunch of people, and a blonde woman that looked strangely familiar, but nothing really else.

“OK. I’m talking to myself. Like Cole does. Is it just a ghost thing to talk to yourself? Must get lonely.” He pauses, for a moment. The others. He needs to find the others, somehow.

Can he make his dragon as a ghost? Did Cole’s powers work when he was a ghost? Jay can’t really remember, but... hey, he’ll figure it out.

Now he just needs to get off this island.

When Jay eventually finds the other ninja:

Kai brandishing a sword at him was definitely not what Jay expected to see after he popped through the temple wall.

Terrified screaming, sure, maybe even a tearful reunion, but definitely not a sword pointed at his neck.

Jay’s hands are up, his back is pressed against the wall (on his journey back to the temple, he’s begun to figure out exactly how being a ghost works, and how much strength it takes him to allow others to touch him. He nearly got evaporated a few times in sudden rainstorms, but it’s a good thing umbrellas exist. Also overhangs.), and his eyes are wide. “Ok, Ok! Calm down, it’s just me! Don’t stab me!” He pauses. “Wait, can you stab me? I mean, I’m a ghost, can you even- was Cole able to get stabbed when he was a ghost? ...I think he got shot and the bullet went though him, once, but you guys probably don’t remember that.”

Kai narrows his eyes. “What are you doing here, how are you here, you’re de-” he pauses, eyes widening. “You’re a ghost.”

Jay attempts to push Kai’s sword down, but the tip of it is shoved forward until it’s barely a breath away from impaling him (or... going through him, he supposes). “Yeah, I am. Don’t know how. Do you know how? Took a while to get here, y’know, nearly fell into the ocean a few times...” Jay pauses, as Kai’s face grows more and more bewildered. “Do you... weren’t you guys there? We were on an island, and-”

There’s a sudden noise from the other room, as Cole and Nya rush in, holding their appropriate weapons. “We heard you yell, Kai, what’s going-” Nya stops as her eyes land on Jay, her face changing from shocked to pained to utter hatred in the span of a few seconds. “You.”

“Nya, wait, I-” Jay barely has time to speak before she’s rushing towards him, and just before he can get A: stabbed or B: splashed with water (hopefully not B), Nya stops suddenly.

“You’re... you’re a ghost.”

“Yeah.” Jay decides this would be a good time to drop the other bombshell. “And I have no idea why or how.”

***

“So,” Kai says, in a strained voice, “you don’t remember anything.”

“No.” Jay glances around the room. “Last thing I remember is getting to the island with you guys, and then... nothing, really. Just a blank.”

It’s been about an hour since Jay’s first confrontation with Kai, and in that time he’s almost gotten killed four separate times. Or, well, whatever you can do to a ghost in the lines of killing. First by Kai, then by Nya, then by Lloyd and Zane, in that order. Master Wu had been more shocked rather than anything else, but at least he hadn’t tried to commit murder. Jay’s explained everything to the other ninja- what happened after he woke up on the beach, how he got back to the city (stowing away on ships is surprisingly easy), and how he has, in fact, zero memories of dying.

“So,” Jay says after a moment of very awkward silence, “how did I die, anyway? You guys were on the island too, so...”

The others freeze, and Jay has the distinct feeling that something happened that was very bad and very wrong. Kai, apparently deciding to take one for the team, speaks up. “You... you fell off a cliff.”

Jay considers this. “I know you’re lying,” he says eventually, “but it’s- it’s a very good lie. That definitely seems like something I would do.” He stands up, pretending not to notice the way Zane’s hand tightens on his bow, and how Lloyd’s fingers start to spark. “On that note, I’m tired, you guys probably want to talk in private, I want sleep. G’night.” He walks off to his room, secretly hoping that there aren’t any pictures of him with darts thrown at it.

Kai and the other’s reactions to ghost Jay:

“So Jay,” Nya eventually says, after the ghost version of her ex(?)-boyfriend makes his way towards his former room, “is dead. And a ghost. With no memories of him dying.”

Master Wu, who has gone to make tea to deal with his shock, makes an exceptionally loud clanging sound, probably as a precaution so Jay doesn’t hear any of the conversation. Pixal is absent, having gone on a two-week long mission barely a few days before Jay showed up.

“Yes,” Kai confirms. “This is bad.”

Cole nods, biting his lip. “He doesn’t... do you think he’ll find out? That he went bad, I mean.”

“I hope not,” Lloyd mutters, speaking for the first time since he yelled at Jay around an hour ago. “Honestly, it’s better if he just doesn’t figure it out. We can just... make up a believable lie for him, and hopefully, if he doesn’t get turned back into a human, he won’t remember. I don’t want him to know that we were the reason he’s dead. Even though it was technically his fault.”

“Yes,” Zane adds. “The fact that Jay’s dead is, in fact, his own fault. We were merely trying to stop him from causing any more harm to us, himself, or the people of Ninjago.” The nindroid pauses, for a moment, likely remembering how they all combined their elemental powers (well... most of them) to take the lightning master down. “So, I suppose we’ll just have to keep him under close watch. Don’t let him go out alone, and I can see if I can attach a tracker to him- one that works on ghosts. Perhaps one with deepstone embedded in it, so we can detain him if necessary.”

“Yeah,” Kai says. “We can do this. We’ll handle Jay, protect Ninjago, and hope that he doesn’t remember anytime soon.”

#long post #Ghost Jay #Villain Jay #this idea popped in my head last night and i just couldn't stop thinkin ab it #100% won't happen but i think it's cool #mostly rantin ab ghost jay because i won't be able to use it for my au where morro possesses jay instead of lloyd #let me know if you have any ideas for scenes that you want me to write #i would be happy to #skylor walks in 1 day after hearing ab how jay went evil (doesn't know about ghost jay)#sees ghost jay and cole on the couch talkin about video games #goes like 'okay this is weird' and just leaves #Ninjago jay #ninjago cole #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjago nya #ninjago lloyd #ninjago wu #ninjago s14 #ninjago s15 #tommy andersons vague tweets #jay angst #memory loss #ghosts #Evil Jay #sorry for the length i got really excited #also just. Kai n the others being overly nice to jay bcuz they were the reason he went evil in the first place #jays so confused but goes along with it because hey at least they're being nice to him now

43 notes · View notes