#weird fanfic about secret agents

[spacedoutman]

Never too young to die | Oc X Velvet von Ragnar (Part 1)

Penny. The disappearance of the love of her life never stopped haunting top-secret agent Helena “Leni” Hé. What happens when the ghost of her past comes back to not only haunt her, but put everything Leni had ever fought for on the line? What happens when that ghost is the psychopathic Velvet von Ragnar?

Can she stop herself from falling for her again?

Gonna start posting parts here after arguing with people on Facebook.

Warnings: Dark subjects such as abuse, addiction and mental health struggles.

Where would that girl end up? Hopefully, whatever happened, it would be the best it could possibly be. Leni’s mind whisked her away like a hurricane. Penny. Maybe her name would change at some point, right? Maybe, she’d wind up in a prestigious college and move on to never worry about anything again.

Maybe, hopefully, she could use dollar bills as makeup wipes and reassure Leni there was a lot more in the bank and that there was nothing to worry about.

Click. The door pulled Leni’s hand like it was its life mission to slam. Leni fought a war to ease it shut. She locked it. Her heart almost burst from her chest like a bullet. Of course, she had no problem with that. Penny didn’t look like a penny. Leni turned around. There was no way in hell she looked like a Penny.

The dim overhead light touched her features, reflecting her dull eyes and dying her smokey eye-shadow brown. Her white teeth shone between her full lips as a hazy grin ran across them, emphasizing her smile lines. What would her eyes look like if they smiled too? Penny looked more like a Theodora, Evangeline or Maria. If she were a Theodora, her nickname would be Theda.

She looked nothing like Theda Bara. Hell, she should’ve been standing in the driveway of a gilded mansion though, not some dumpy gas station bathroom. Penny’s features were far softer than even Leni’s warm gaze. She’d definitely look stunning in some of Theda’s outfits, that was for sure. Maybe she moved like Theda too. Quiet humming took over. Leni’s heart still rushed with adrenaline.

Penny somehow looked exhausted. Leni cupped her face and pulled her over. Her lips against Penny’s was what heaven was. The smell of lavender conquered the slight hint of mold.

Penny melted into her. Leni grasped her shoulders and pulled her in more. Closer was written all over Leni’s mind. Fire raged in their kiss. Leni’s hands raced through Penny’s curly jet hair. Penny’s arms hung loosely around her neck. Time stopped. Mint overwhelmed Leni’s taste buds in the best way possible. Leni would never pull-

Penny pulled away. Leni cupped her face. Penny’s eyes hung half-shut as she gazed through her thick lashes. Her brows drew together slightly and her lips rested parted. She was drunk on her presence. Leni’s head spun enough to erase the stained up white-ish and brown walls. A soft grin spread across her face. “I just wanted to let you know how beautiful you are.”

Penny looked down for a moment. “I had my eye one of those blue sparkly cars outside.“ Penny said a bit absentmindedly. “You know, those fancy ones?”

“Is that your way of telling me you love me?” Leni teased, Penny gave an airy giggle.

“We’ll definitely get married next then.”

Married. That word sent a slew of happy memories through Leni’s head. Like, running her hands through Penny’s hair even when it grayed, or taking her sweet little honeysuckle to any city she even mentioned. Penny blinked long and slow. Leni couldn’t wipe away her grin. “But wait.” Penny’s eyes widened a bit. She looked down and to the side, her brows pressing down.

“No way. If we did, everyone would be able to tell we were a couple. Our names sound too alike.” She mumbled as if it were the second coming of Jesus (or third).

Leni giggled. She tilted Penny’s chin up. Penny looked up at her, her smile faded by now. “That doesn’t matter.” Leni shrugged. “If we went somewhere far away from here, it wouldn’t even matter. Plenty of Pennies and Lenis hang out all the time.”

“That’s true, Helena, but wouldn’t it raise a lot of suspicion?”

“Just as much suspicion as us being in this bathroom together.” Leni replied, matter of factly but still playfully. “The way I look at you has probably given us away.”

Penny looked down with a little smile. Leni’s hand slid, stopping at her upper arm. Penny leaned into her touch. “Every time I look at you, I hear an angel’s chorus.”

“I can say the same for you.” Penny looked up at her. “What would we do after we got married?”

“What married couples normally do.” Leni joked. “But the rest? We’ll figure it out.”

“Take it day by day.”

“Yeah...” Leni reassured in a dreamy sigh.

Penny rested her hands on the rim of the bathroom sink and sat down. Leni looked up at her. Penny sighed, looking away at nothing. Her pupils unfocused. “There’s not enough room for me.” Leni said playfully. Penny scooted—Leni moved her right back, eyes still wide. “Don’t hurt yourself!” Penny burst into chuckles before looking up at the ceiling and sitting against the mirror.

“I’ll never have to visit another art museum, I can tell you that for sure.” Leni said with delight, stepping beside her and sweeping up her hand (carefully).

Penny looked down at her before bursting into chuckles. Music to Leni’s ears. Leni joined her gladly. “I don’t think anyone’s going to notice our absence.” She shrugged. “We could stay here all night.”

“Does anyone really come in here?” Asked the concerned Penny.

“Drew probably would.” Leni joked. If Penny were drinking something, she would’ve spit it out.

Penny smiled and raised an eyebrow as if she were reprimanding her. Leni rested a hand on her jaw, caressing her cheek with her thumb. “Don’t you have curfew?-” “Curfew my ass.” Leni scoffed. “I’m twenty something and still crashing on mom’s couch.” Leni’s eyes widened a bit. “Oh,--speaking of!”

Penny leaned close. Leni laid the tip of her pointer finger on her chest and pushed her back gently. “Wait.” Leni cooed. “Better yet, close your eyes and give me your hands.” Penny looked away and closed her eyes. She raised her hands. Leni opened her palms and reached into her oversized leather jacket. Penny shrunk a bit.

“Are you getting me a lighter?” Penny huffed, trying to pull a hand away.

“Even better. Cigarettes for days.”

Shiny pearls clicked as Leni laid a what, two or three-hundred year old necklace?, in Penny’s palms. She closed her hands carefully and eased them against her chest. “That feels weird.” Penny whispered humorously… but maybe a little awkwardly.

“Open your eyes.”

Penny looked down. Her jaw could’ve hit the floor as she gasped. “I don’t believe it! You know how much your mother values this thing-”

“I know.” Leni assured, anger sprinkled into her calm voice. “She’ll grieve more than if I got into some freak accident. But as this point, I think she deserves it.”

Leni waited for some optimism to leave Penny. Penny held the necklace close to her chest. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath of the crisp air. “Well, if some freak accident happens, you can count on me to hold it dear.” Penny said in a honey-drenched voice, quiet enough to be a whisper.

“You know if you sell it, you can get a place out of here.” Leni said quickly.

Penny held it tighter. “You won’t ever have to worry about any of those pricks again.” She grew assertive. Her chest tightened. “Not only that, you can get your ass to college and-”

“Leni.” Penny’s little voice rained on the flame. “Everything’s okay.”

Leni’s expression softened. “You’re right.” She bit her lip. “It is okay.” Penny leaned in. Leni cupped her face. She glanced at the necklace which shone like stars in the light. Penny clutched it tightly, yet her hands were as gentle as a dove’s wings. Leni’s shoulders drooped. She looked away for a moment before composing herself.

She rubbed Penny’s cheek with her thumb. Penny closed her eyes, savoring her touch. Leni leaned in, planting a little kiss on her nose. Her thumb hit something rough. Leni forced herself to look. A couple band-aids clung to Penny’s cheek. Only two showed themselves. The rest were hidden under Penny’s sweater. At least there weren’t as many as typical.

Hopefully, there wouldn’t be as many bruises this time either. Leni felt as dizzy as she would if she spun. She closed her eyes before-

Leni yanked the glass off the nightstand. Her lungs collapsed as she heaved for air. Her hands shook like mad as she raised the glass to her mouth. Her gasps echoed like her head was a chamber. She chugged. The water failed to help her dry throat. The glass slipped from her hand, crashing against her leg then rolling off and onto the bed.

Darkness touched the pretty neat room, melting it all into an ugly blur.

Where did that girl end up? She could still see Penny as well as she could a picture. Leni rested a hand on her chest, slowing her breathing and closing her eyes. She laid her head back. It was just as easy to remember her trembling hands as she sat on the sofa of that old trailer, waiting for the effects of whatever her mother took to sweep away her grief.

Leni wiped the tears from her eyes. Another deep breath. She’d be lying if she denied feeling a leftover bit of that dread every time one of those blasted memories rolled around. She climbed out of bed. The thick blankets rolled off her. She pulled herself over to the window, taking the dramatic curtains and sweeping them open.

Golden lights shone like stars as they lined the yard. The pool water shone deep blue, touching the cobblestone pavement around it. The moonlight clung to the neatly placed pool chairs, reflecting off the silver grills and shining through the umbrellas that shielded the spotless glass tables. Lush rose bushes watched behind the white picket fences. She breathed deeply, swearing she could smell them from here.

Penny would smile. Why was she still thinking about Penny-

“Mom?”

Leni lowered the magazine. The sun beat down angrily. She looked up at Cliff through her sunglasses and smiled happily. Neon green and purple pool noodles were stuffed under his arms. “I’m going to do something crazy.” He said, bursting with confidence. Leni grinned widely and nodded.

“You know what?”

“What?”

Leni rested an arm on the arm of the pool chair and shut the magazine. “Don’t forget the propeller you were building.” She said playfully. “I think it’s in the garage.” He nodded as if he were taking notes.

“Alright, see you, mom!”

“See you, Cliff. Good luck!”

Cliff gave a rushed nod and scampered off. Leni opened the magazine and looked down. She couldn’t get the grin off her face. Helena “Leni” Hé had seen more than her fair share of things as a top-secret agent. But she’d won in life. She’d succeeded. She had her son, her mansion and hella cash. So why was the memory of Penny, the girl that disappeared all those years ago, still haunting her?

[leondickrider]

fluff alphabet ౨ৎ leon s kennedy x gn!reader

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 || working on sm leon fanfics at once ! i made this in like 20 minutes so it prolly sucks but idc!! nsfw alphabet coming soon :3

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 || fluff (obvi), not proofread or read by betas

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 || deinking mentioned, none

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 || leon s kennedy mlist 🎀 @starzu

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

leon really loves just kicking back and relaxing with his s/o. after soo many life-threatening missions, he just wants to kick back on the sofa with his s/o in his arms and binge watch some tv. however, he also really loves taking they all the places they want to visit, whether it's a concert or a museum

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

everything, literally finds every inch of his s/o perfect and beautiful. but, he really loves their hands, especially if they are soft and smaller because it's the opposite of his hands that are rough from so much fighting and training. also finds their eyes beautiful, will literally hold contact for hours if he could

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

refer back to re4r how leon comforted ashley. he's really good at comforting you and will do anything to help cheer you up. 2 am emotional binge sesh? he's driving to the shoppe and buying you ice cream and frost and drizzle or syrup and sprinkles and brownie bits and cookies and and potato chips and and cheeseburgers and fries and tater tots and cheese and everything (i'm on a rlly strict diet so this is deadass just me listing foods i want rn) 5 pm cry sesh? he already has the tissues, blankets, stuffies and tear-jerking movies ready

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

in 1998, leon would dream about having a totally normal relationship with you. big suburban house, a couple kids. but after the raccoon city, he kind of changed his dreams. he still craves the normal, domestic life, but now he kinda envisions it as just you and him. not that he doesn't want kids, he just doesn't want them to be in such a dangerous world

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

i think he'd be more dominant in relationships when it comes to most things. not dominant in a weird, controlling way. but he would want his s/o to come to him before making any big decisions simply bc he probably brings home the bacon with his government paycheck. but other than financially, he's pretty passive, he really doesn't care what you do as long as you don't do like porn or like cheat

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

depends honestly; most fights he will forgive you, but sometimes he really holds it against you and just shuts you out for a while before resuming as if nothing happened. however, when he snaps and lets words he doesn't mean to get out, he will apologize so much. even if you forgive him, he doesn't believe it and will buy you everything

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

very grateful! in 1998-2013 and after vendetta specifically. he realizes that you help keep him happy pretty fast. if you're in raccoon city with him then he probably felt a lot better and more confident. (def not bc he wanted to show off in front of his partner!!) in 2004 he is soo grateful you were willing to stay with him even with the job he ended up with and with all the training he had to get. in vendetta i think that's when he might seem ungrateful cuz of his drinking.... but yeah after all that he's back to normal

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

a lot of secrets :(

mainly about work though, cuz unless you're an agent he literally cannot legally get into the details with you. he keeps secrets abt his drinking too, like you know he drinks but you don't know how much he drinks.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

yes! he became more confident in himself because like being in a relationship makes him feel like somebody wants him, so he gains sm self confidence and actually wants to be stronger so he can return home from missions !

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

i think he gets jealous pretty easily. he will get a bit jealous if a person look at you twice, or somebody flirts. but part of him thinks you deserve somebody better so he doesn't ever tell you about his jealousy, you gotta hring it up first

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

a very good kisser!! every single kiss is filled w sm love and affection and passion <3 mainly bc he doesn't really know when it will be the last kiss :(

first kiss was really special even though it was spontaneous. it was in the late hours of the night, the whole apartment dark except for the tv light. and you were slow dancing to some random song when suddenly the mood felt right and he kisses you MANSBSHH (this is based on my first kiss with my ex ....)

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

he doesn't really confess first, he drops subtle hints that he has feelings for you and just gopes you catch onto his words

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

yes, going back to dream. he thinks about marriage all the time, he likes the idea of having a cute lil spouse to come home too after grueling missions

he proposes totally out of nowhere. he originally had a plan, he was going to take you on a romantic vacation before proposing to you while there. but he chickened out last second, so after several other attempts (that he backed out of last minute) he finally had enough. and then one morning he got down on one knee after buying you a ton of donuts

marriage is really good. he's such husband material. overprotective but not too overprotective. possessive but not too possessive. you know what i'm saying?

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

sticks to the classics most of the time: babe, baby, love, sweetheart, etc etc. lots of italian pet names

however when he's sweet he really branches out: sweet girl/boy, lovie, lovebug, cuddlebug, pretty

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

oh my gosh, this man is so lovey-dovey. literally heart eyes for you. but he forces himself to stay serious even thought other people easily know he's all your's. he doesn't talk much when it's just you and him, preferring to just sit silently across from you and listen to you. and that's what makes it obvious to others since normally he doesn't pay attention and always says his dad jokes or says something stupid

he expresses his feelings by like... yeah.... not being annoying i guess

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

hmm, he doesn't really like pda due to his job. he knows he has enemies who are after him, but most don't really know about you since they don't really look into that. however, when he's off work, he'll take you into cities and his hand in always on you, whether he's holding your hand, or his hand is planted on your hip/waist. just makes him feel better

he brags about you to all of his friends. chris hears about it nonstop while leon is drunk (and he sobs after bc the redfield bloodline.) "sure that looks nice on them but you know who would look better in it? my s/o." "oh, my s/o has that same necklace, i bought it for them in paris." (😭)

he doesn't really care after the missions. esp if he got close to death, he is all over you the second he sees you. he doesn't care who is watching or who sees, he is literally holding you as if you were dying

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

he knows whenever you are upset. doesn't even need to hear you speak. literally can just tell from your footsteps or your posture

also, he's really quiet so when you are having your moments he's able to sneak around withhout setting you off (please i get so annoyed when people are loud when i'm mad)

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

yes

he will do everything to make his s/o happy

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

it really depends on your goals. if your goal is to become famous on onlyfans (aimed) then he probably wouldn't really help cuz well why would he?

he believes in you to an extent, he's brutally honest sometimes so... yeah... if you're dumb he will tell you that you're dumb (in a nice way) but he tries his best to support you 💀

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

there's no such thing as routine with this man other than his exercise routine 

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you better than you do. this man literally buys whatever you're craving like a week before you even ask fo it. he knows exactly what album or movie or video game you're going to beg him to buy so he already got you it

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

literally his top pirority. it goes you, his friends, him. he always puts you ahead of himself in everything and values your life sm more than his own :(

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

everytime he returns from his missions, he always comes home with your favorite snack and an expensive bouquet of your favorite flowers (if you get the expensive bouquet reference jtm)

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

yes, he is so touch starved and can cuddle all day if you let him. he kisses you a lot as well

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he always carries a little polaroid of you snd him cuddles together on the sofa (taken before 1998 for draamtic effect) and just looks at it for a little bit

he also bought a small bottle of your fav purfume/fragrance and always takes it with him on missions, aweet boy :)

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

this man would literally take a bullet for you !! A BULLET !!

reblogs appreciated always ♡

i'm making a ghost ver of this as well since i love him sm !! :))

[fascinationex]

Sometimes I think TFP fandom would be so interesting if it had occurred a tiny bit later, especially with regard to Miko Nakadai. Because when I spy the ancient scripts (old fanfic notes, old posts, etc) talking about TFP, there was a lot of, "Yeah, I hate the kids though, Miko is really annoying..." and I bet if we were getting Miko NOW people would appreciate her a lot more. Fandom is still pretty misogynistic in some ways, but not quite like it was 10, 12 years ago. Now, people would be absolutely FROTHING about the Hardshell mini-arc, not to mention the whole apex armour thing.

At first Miko is presented to the audience as this loud, quippy, dramatic girl and she is initially placed as an obvious foil for Jack. That is, she is in the same circumstances as him (they are both human companions for the bots, keeping their secret, ultimately presided over by an extremely exasperated government agent and depressed dadimus), but she's clearly intended to be a contrast for the audience: Jack is responsible, Miko is irresponsible; Jack understands the nature and seriousness of war and worries about it, Miko thinks it's all cool and badass; Jack worries about endangering themselves and Raf, Miko throws herself into giant robot fights, takes a photo for posterity, and barfs on Bulkhead's interiors, etc. and so on.

But in a rare follow-through, they didn't leave her there. When she does get the rare Serious Miko episode, none of Miko's advanced goblin characteristics actually go away. There's no weird new serious Miko who is "corrected" by the narrative. She's not safer. She's DEFINITELY not more responsible — she's INCREDIBLY reckless. If you haven't seen it, there's an episode where she withholds intel from an Autobot officer (Wheeljack) until he agrees to take her on a completely unsanctioned revenge quest. They blow up a bunch of stuff and bait Megatron. And then she ignores Wheeljack's orders anyway.

When considering her character development, the show poses the question, "Does Miko REALLY not understand the gravity of the conflict she's embroiled in?" And then it answers it with, "She understands, but it's not stopping her from behaving like this. Also, she would pull the trigger."

And this isn't part of my argument, really, but she's just SO proud of herself when Starscream boasts to her of killing Autobots, and she stares him down ALL ALONE, IN FRONT OF HIS OWN MEN and tells him she's the one who killed Hardshell. Aw, Miko. ♡

(I love Miko so much and) I think 2024 tumblr would have loved her so much more than, like, the 2011 fanfic fandom seems to have.

[hretoprvdthepltnx]

would you please write a fic where a young Eddie Munson realizes he's trans ftm? I headcanon him as trans, and a good chunk of the trans Eddie fanfic is smut unfortunately

Boys Will Be Boys

FtM!Eddie Munson

Summary: a short drabble featuring Eddie Munson's experience as a trans guy

Content: brief mentions of gender dysphoria, Uncle Wayne once again being an A++ parent, Eddie Munson is trans, brief discussion of sex related topics and masturbation,

Rating: 16+ for some sexual conversational themes || 3.1k+ w.

Eddie was lucky. He had moved in with Uncle Wayne at a young age, in a place where no one knew him, with a strong support system that allowed him to be exactly who he was. Eddie Munson was and had always been a boy. So what if he didn't have a dick? Uncle Wayne didn't care, he had told Eddie on multiple occasions that getting worked up over the genitals people did or didn't have was weird. Especially if they were kids, like his nephew.

He told him it didn't matter if his body was different, because all bodies are different, and that was okay. Eddie moved to Hawkins as a boy and being there, that is all that he has ever been. Only he and Uncle Wayne knew what was different and his uncle warned him that it was important to keep it that way. "Not everyone is as understanding," Wayne had told him, "People are cruel, Eddie. You know that." And he did.

When he was still really young, Eddie didn't have to worry about much. His body matched the bodies of all the other boys, for the most part, and so he'd always felt safe and like he belonged. It was when puberty started that things got a bit more difficult. Uncle Wayne had been able to find him puberty blockers to help him out with a few problems early on and then had found a way to start him on testosterone later once Eddie started mentioning wanting to try to grow facial hair and deepen his voice like the other boys his age.

By tenth grade, the only way anyone would have been able to tell that Eddie was trans would have been to take him to bed, and it's not like there were many people lining up to have sex with the resident freak. Eddie didn't always mind that though, it kept things simple. No sex meant no one found out about his secret and so it was easier to keep it that way. It was safer.

However, it made being a teenager more difficult sometimes than it might have been if he didn't have to hide or if he had been born with a penis. It was hard to relate to some of his friends sometimes, the other boys, because his experiences weren't always the same. They would talk about things like masturbation or unfortunately timed boners, and he would have to pretend to know what they meant or find a way to avoid the conversation all together.

After a while, Eddie felt that he had gotten pretty good at bullshitting his friends when the time was right, but he was still cautious of slip ups. He was paranoid he would say something that would give him away, it was like being an undercover agent, although arguably more stressful and less cool. There were times that he wished he could be honest with his friends and open up to them about his own experiences as a teenager rather than attempting to mimick theirs.

It wouldn't be until his third attempt at a senior year - when Eddie met and became friends with Steve, Robin, and Nancy - that he would be comfortable enough in himself and those around him to be able to do just that. Having queer friends really helped him come to terms with the validity of his identity and eventually he would feel comfortable enough with himself to tell the other members of his party and band who he really was.

Spoiler alert - they didn't care.

|| masterlist || navigation ||

story by hretoprvdthepltnx©

Eddie Munson copyrighted by the Duffer Brothers©

[gwens-fiction]

Intro Post

Hi! I’m Gwen. I’m 26, she/her, have a masters in wildlife biology and conservation management, bachelors in biology with minors of English and environmental studies. I have two younger siblings, and 8 pets (5 dogs, 1 rabbit, and 2 cats). I write a lot of fanfiction for the Penguins of Madagascar fandom, but I also write several original things, too.

Genres I write tend to fall under: fantasy, urban fantasy, sci-fi, horror, weird science, action comedy (with animal characters), mystery, poetry.

Feel free to ask to be on any tag list! WIPs below the cut.

Original WIPs

Hidden Earth Chronicles

Summary: Necromancer Vasco has just returned home to find his beloved wife missing. He and his brother-in-law set out to find her and along the way Vasco learns more about where he came from and his own abilities.

Tropical Storm

Summary: Martin along Evy and Diego, are newly moving into the San Diego Zoo. However, Martin’s life is unexpectedly rocked when a secret agent accidentally drops a piece of top secret spy equipment among his belongings. Now he’s been recruited by the local espionage squad. Together they keep the zoo safe from assorted enemies, as well as face international threats.

Also planning: Patagonia Penguins which takes place long before this but is connected via being about Martin's parents.

My Baby’s a Werewolf

Summary: Single Dad, Sebastian’s, toddler daughter, Amber, gets bitten by a “big dog” one evening and becomes a little werepup. Now her dad is handling the pressures of being a single dad as well as trying to get his daughter back to normal.

Obscure Science

Summary: Rejected scientist Dr. Darwin Rose finds new employment with an off-the-record agency that focuses on well…obscure and bizarre occurrences, whether they be paranormal, supernatural, fantastical, or seem like something from science fiction, this agency investigates it all. Darwin is paired up with another scientist, Dr. Cassidy Blue, and together they have some crazy escapades.

Shady Acres

Summary: Sydney, freshly graduated from high school, goes to spend the summer with her older brother Ryan at his cabin. They set up trail cameras for fun but soon get unexpected photos that introduce them to whole new oddities that the woods can offer.

Title Under Construction

Summary: A small town has become plagued by a mysterious creature that keeps eating the inhabitants.

Fanfic WIPs

A Scientific Romance Series

A series of Penguins of Madagascar fics about Kowalski the penguin and his invention unexpectedly pairing him up with the penguins' arch nemesis: Dr Blowhole and how they’re making this relationship work.

Spin Offs:

Scientist Overboard

Summary: Francis and Kowalski have been dating for over a year when Kowalski and the others go on a mission out at sea. Kowalski finds himself washed overboard during a bad storm, waking up without any memory on an island. He and his spirit guide then attempt to return to New York while the others try to find him.

Haunted Mansion

Summary: Blowhole, Kowalski, and their children decide to go on a family vacation, but get sidetracked by a haunted mansion's advertisement that Blowhole couldn't pass up. Will include 2 guest OCs of my friend @insert-meaningful-username. A Franski fic with bonus fankids.

Collaborative WIPs with @insert-meaningful-username

Mallory Manor (Title Under Construction)

Summary: Rose sneaks into the sketchy old Mallory Manor at the end of the street and discovers far more than she bargained for.

Clandestine Affairs

Summary: During the biggest heist they’ll ever pull off, infamous criminal duo Show Biz planned on robbing one of the richest and highly valuable connections to have, Julien Prince. However, they’ve finally been caught by their rivals. With the heroes winning this battle, surely things will now be brought to justice...until, the charges are read. Sentence to death for...murdering the Senator of Delaware?!? NOW, our heroes must team up with the baddies to end this confusion, solving the mystery of the true mastermind before the crooks are falsely put to death for the only crime they didn’t commit.

Caretaker of Madagascar (Penguins of Madagascar series)

Summary: Some believe misfortune can bring people together. Others believe that destiny has the power to interconnect lives, whether those lives wanted to or not. Call it a coincidence. Call it fate. Call it a despicable force of nature. Either way, nothing could've stopped the fact that Bridget Ailith, a cantankerous new zookeeper, found herself forced to team up with the Penguins to undo a machine's disastrous effects. Doesn't help that those penguins are now—

Do You Read Me, 00FU? (Subnautica / Neebs Gaming inspired series)

Summary: Hired aboard Alterra’s prestigious and pristine spaceship, The Aurora, space engineer rookie Appsro finally gets his opportunity to voyage across the galaxy… Until it fucking crashes onto an uncharted pelagic planet. Alone and stranded on quarantined 4546B, all Appsro has in his survival skill set is his ingenuity, some tools, stubbornness, and the aid of a few (debatable if helpful or not) Alterra HQ Operators. Can he prevail and escape the treacherous deep waters, enormous aquatic monsters, and the lethal thousand-year-old bacteria that feast upon the planet? Probably not. He’s fucked.

[themculibrary]

Completed AO3 Fics Masterlist 2

Links Last Checked: April 13th, 2024

part one

1796 broadway (ao3) - rainproof, teaberryblue steve/tony, bruce/natasha M, 460k

Summary: Captain America respectfully requests that all complaints be addressed to him in writing. On paper, the nice old-fashioned way, because the computer screen hurts his eyes.

Put your phone down, Tony.

A Parent Apparent (ao3) - happyaspie pepper/tony T, 528k

Summary: In which the author indulges herself in some shameless Irondad/Spiderson with fluff, angst and everything in between because she needs more of that in her life.

OR

Just another one of those, oh so overdone, fanfics where Tony and Peter's relationship grows into more of a father/son relationship after an accident involving Aunt May (who lives)

cascades. (ao3) - orange_crushed steve/bucky, peggy/gabe M, 152k

Summary: “Holy shit,” Howard says, crackling through the speakers. “You alive in there?” Lying is a sin, of course, but Steve’s not sure what else he can do. He’s already lied to the government and Bucky and God Almighty; and himself, himself most of all. He ought to tell the truth. That he’s not quite what they hoped for. That perhaps they should put him back into the ocean.

“Probably,” he says, instead, listening to Howard’s tinny laughter; and waits for the blast doors to unlock.

Children of the Old Moon(ao3) - old_blue stephen/sam M, 78k

Summary: After an encounter with a supernatural killer goes wrong, Stephen is pulled into another world. There, he meets a very familiar face...

Now he just needs to catch the murderer, save the multiverse, and find a way back home.

Curious Scars (ao3) - Amerna darcy/steve M, 95k

Summary: Darcy Lewis’ first solo mission as a SHIELD agent was supposed to be easy: Get to Germany, retrieve the data, get out. With Captain America as backup nothing bad could happen, right? But when Steve and Darcy wake up two weeks later in a hospital in Brazil with no recollection of what happened, SHIELD ready to arrest them for going AWOL, and married to each other, things start to get weird. They struggle to piece together what happened to them: Where did they go? What did they do? Why can they not remember anything? And why on earth would they get married to each other?

darkness will be rewritten (ao3) - princessironspider natasha/tony N/R, 104k

Summary: Peter is Tony’s biological child.

Natasha Romanoff has been married to Tony Stark secretly for years.

What would the movies be like if this were the case?

Everything She Didn't Know She Wanted (ao3) - bluecurls bucky/darcy/steve E, 137k

Summary: Knowing she had two soulmates comforted Darcy Lewis during the toughest moments of her life.

Then she met them.

Life On The Farm (ao3) - BeenAsleepFor70Years clint/laura, bruce/natasha, steve/bucky, jane/thor, pepper/tony, scott/hope G, 101k

Summary: Set after Civil War. Stories about Team Cap (minus Bucky) and friends hiding out on Clint's farm.

maybe we can’t be okay (but maybe we’ll try anyway) (ao3) - impravidus, notapartytrick steve/bucky, pepper/tony T, 68k

Summary: The Avengers thought it would be a simple mission. Kill the giant, sixty foot worm monsters, head home and maybe take an hour long shower to get the worm guts off. But when they come across a hidden town in the depths of the forest, the last thing they’re expecting to find is a secret underground base and a fourteen year old boy sticking to the ceiling.

The team finds themselves becoming a dysfunctional family to the teen while he learns how to find a life out of captivity.

Featuring dolphins, puzzles, and frosting art.

On the Streets Where You Live (ao3) - secretkeeper karl/stephen M, 276k

Summary: When single parents Karl Mordo and Stephen Strange meet while bringing their children to school, a tentative bond is formed between the men and their children. But as time goes on, Karl's past as well as Stephen's secrets will challenge their families and their relationship in ways that neither imagined possible.

peter's stars (ao3) - IronPengu, parkrstark steve/tony T, 175k

Summary: Steve and Peter lose their apartment and are kicked out on the streets. Steve has to juggle between jobs to earn whatever money he can, take care of his son while resfusing to let him realize how much they're trouble in, and keep them warm and safe on the city streets in winter.

So, he really doesn't have time to date the billionaire that flirts with him everyday as he buys his cup of coffee. Even if he did, he can't let himself fall for the man. Because if he knew that he lived from a backpack and showered in a public bathroom there's no way he'd still want him...right?

pirate’s heart (ao3) - NotEvenCloseToStraight bucky/steve/tony E, 267k

Summary: The 1700s, the Golden Age of Piracy, and Captain Steve Rogers has all he wants: a ship, a loyal crew, Bucky at his side, and the horizon offering a new adventure everyday. But an impulsive kiss gone wrong leads to a marriage between Steve and Tony Stark, and now Steve doesn’t know what to do about ANYTHING. Steve loves Bucky, but something about Tony draws him in. Tony is too innocent for this life, but he picks up a sword anyway. Bucky is Steve’s, but when he offers his hand to Tony and now the three of them are something new. When the truth about Steve’s mission to ruin the Stark name comes out, Tony runs away, leaving Steve and Bucky behind in search of answers to the secrets hidden from him his whole life– about his company, about Uncle Obie, about his parents death.

Steve and Bucky cant abandon their mission against Stane and Tony cant deal with the answers he finds in New York. Is this the end? Is Tony gone forever? Or will he leave his old life and return to the sea and the Pirates that hold his heart?

rock me gently (ao3) - enigma731, invisibledaemon gamora/peter M, 479k

Summary: “She is our–She is Gamora,” Nebula says. “There is only one Gamora and I know her better than any of you do.” She pauses and glares at Peter, clearly challenging him to protest that. For once, he doesn’t dare. “This Gamora has jumped forward in time nine years, but she is the same person at her core. Just as you are the same despite not having experienced the last five years I did. We are all just–out of sync at the moment.”

show me what i’m looking for (ao3) - JamieB93 mj/peter, pepper/tony M, 381k

Summary: Peter Parker has spent the last year struggling to believe he has finally found a place he belongs. He has come a long way and whilst there is still a way to go, Peter begins to blossom and open himself up to the world. Which brings with it all the usual teenage dramas.

A touch damaged and more than a little rough around the edges, Peter is very often his own worst enemy. Still plagued by the scars of a traumatic past and newer challenges - it seems Peter’s happy ending might not be so easily in reach.

Steve Rogers Is A Child (ao3) - LagLemon steve/tony, clint/phil M, 290k

Summary: Tony gets into fights with Steve all the time and it's driving him insane. Sure, he's not the nicest guy in the world, but all he did was steal a little of the guy's sesame seed bagel - he didn't deserve to get yelled at for something stupid like that.

After drowning his sorrows in hot chocolate and complaining to Pepper about what happened, Tony gets a phone call from Natasha telling him to hurry back home. Something's happened - Steve has been attacked and he's not quite the same man he once was - he's been turned into a child.

With Steve out of commission, the team struggles with what to do and Tony finds himself filling roles he had never expected: babysitter and friend.

The Contract (ao3) - Laily loki/stephen M, 60k

Summary: An awkward dinner party brings Doctor Stephen Strange and Loki of Asgard together; though ill-at-ease, still they seek the company of each other, being the odd ones out. One wakes up somewhat rested, the other in the worst pain of his life.

Thor is not a happy camper.

The Puzzle that is Peter Parker (ao3) - Neuropsyche pepper/tony T, 279k

Summary: Peter is reeling from the after-effects of the spider bite and seeks out Tony Stark. If anyone can teach him how to be a superhero, it's Ironman, right? Tony isn't impressed at being stalked by an eight year old

Time After Time (ao3) - fancylances tony/stephen T, 47k

Summary: Tony Stark is unstuck in time. Stephen Strange might just be the only person in the universe qualified enough to help.

Two-Point Perspective (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony E, 109k

Summary: Dear omega,

Congratulations! You've been selected. Alpha #95847872 has been assigned as your pre-bondee. A group bonding ceremony will take place on the 14th, unless other arrangements have been made by your alpha or their family. A valid bonding license must be submitted to Omega Services within 45 days of this letter or all services will be cancelled and any transferable benefits will not be applied to your alpha's package.

If there is some reason why you cannot be bonded on this date, please apply for an extension by calling 1-800-555-6827 within 7 days of receiving this letter.

Sincerely, National Omega Services

We'll Haunt This Place (The Two of Us) (ao3) - ElloPoppet clint/steve, sam/bucky E, 25k

Summary: Huh. Captain America showing up at his farm unannounced in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon with a suitcase. Somehow, not the strangest thing to ever happen to Clint. Not even the strangest way he had been woken from a nap, honestly.

[mandy4ever69420]

i would like to see the og version :D

man if yr sure. anyway i do love fanfiction i think it's fun but i am the weirdest person to be talking about fanfiction.

i find fanfiction to be a really fascinating medium TBH it can tell you a lot about people what they look for and write about. and one thing i learned watching shameless is that the general vibe of shameless is pretty much what i want out of a fanfic. like, watching it i remember specifically thinking "this is what i'd been literally looking for reading xyz" which is a little weird for shameless fanfiction, no? fanfic as a medium has its own genre conventions so most (not all) (i <3 conceptual fic) fanfictions intentionally or not make their stories slightly more like fanfiction than like the source material. normal. Funny enough, the fanfic that's most closely ever actually matched the tone of shameless to me was written for homestuck

the MAIN THING i want to say about. the way i read fanfiction. and the fact that i am a lunatic. is that like. i kind of became an expert for some reason in sniffing out people's political and social biases really fast. and i can sometimes spend more time psychoanalyzing an author than i do worrying about the story. this comes up a lot when the law ever gets involved but also just.. you can tell exactly where someone is on their "how to be gay" journey by how they write it. i think what people write as escapism can in general tell you more about what they consider normal/safe/acceptable than if they just tried to explain to you their beliefs (see: are there royals/rich people as protagonists? what is the time period being discussed?)

BUT wrt fanfiction's genre conventions id make note that most fanfiction is very much in the romcom niche. which is a super disrespected genre in film/published lit in the same way and for the same reasons fanfic gets dismissed a lot. erotica is also a very frequently dismissed and disrespected genre. not only are romances seen as frivolous, but sex as shameful or cheap. <-also relevant to the way that sex work is dismissed when ex. working in an amazon warehouse takes as much or more of a toll on someone's body.

1 thing i love to see is weird niche interests and jobs. lots of opportunities in a fully freeform zero interest groups/showrunners/advertisers genre to get someone explaining the intricacies of being a mail carrier or quality controlling machinery. it's always frustrating to me to see rock stars and secret agents when we have all the time in the world to get sunshine cleaning (2008) with it.

it's also a good format for more or less endless speculation development and character moments. which is what fanfiction was built for. in published work there has to be a ticking clock to keep the audience's (and network exec's) attention, but you can assume if someone looked something up, you already have their attention. that's not to say not going for a plot-heavy conflictful story, just that there's no need to build in a requirement end/goal. you have all the time in the world because you're not batting to get a new season. no shark jumping required. <- this is somewhere that shows like mr. robot and the bear really fuck up i think. if your end goal would finish your story, you can't make meaningful moves towards it without losing your renewal & your plot is sort of barred from going anywhere or doing anything, while also demanding that you try every time

unfortunately for a lot of fanfiction FOR ME though is that sometimes the "make things sweeter" impulse that comes with the genre (part of the genre) (not necessarily a writing flaw) tends to put me off a bit. it's a big part of what i love in shameless: when someone is in the hospital it's a bit more "waiting room filling out forms and trying not to look at other people crying" and less "patiently waiting by your bedside with roses". something about detailing the shitty terrible sides of situations that pop up a lot in romances really scratches a specific itch in my brain. this contradicts the romcom genre in some ways (though there are romcoms that do this sort of thing)

i also happen to love AUs. im literally like an AU guy. though for me one of the most important things to keep in mind is matching tone, i really dont like when things get changed in terms of what they FEEL like. into like, something that isn't weird and pathetic and fucked up. SAD!

i'm also unreasonably resentful of retcons/AUs to avoid a sad thing happening. i think stories are better when all the horrible shit absolutely happened and the ending is good anyway. it's a kinder way to look at trauma to me. the person who lived through the worst thing you can imagine can live in a happy story! i also just love to feel a little bit like i'm eating glass with fiction.

(also, specifically for shameless, i've noticed this intense impulse some people have to definitively characterize mickey as not a rape or hate crime survivor. it's an attempt to make a story "happier" that also happens to ignore how horrifying to me mickey sleeping with women in other contexts is. what happened with svetlana is in some ways a literalization of the kinds of social pressure that mickey was always under. best description i can think of is "how far away is the gun?" -- a lot of the "reasoning" for AUs as to why mickey wouldn't have been hate crimed comes across weirdly like victim blaming - i know that's not what people mean, but it's what you're saying when you say "if it weren't for ian, mickey never would've let his guard down like that" - his guard wasn't down, he made all the right choices wherever he could, and ian canonically blaming himself doesn't mean he was right about it. i also think the idea that mickey would otherwise be too smart or too tough to make the "mistake" of getting caught shows some messed up ideas about what people think of real world people who do survive hate crimes and abuse.)

fanfiction is very much the sort of thing that is for having a mental breakdown of the eating ice cream on the couch variety. obviously talking about fanfiction having romanticized tropes is like watching a mob movie and being like "whys there so many italians here" so i'm aware that's just genre.

ANYWAY TO MY OWN PERSONAL INSANE NICHE: DIALECT!

this is about fanfiction, AND gif and television captioning. people mix up mickey's working class white dialect with AAVE a LOT. working class and Black american dialects certainly interact a lot and have similarities, but they're not the same. also AAVE has a lot of complexities and nuances that speakers of other dialects definitely borrow from where something like standard american is lacking. i'm not an L1 speaker of AAVE but i do notice myself borrowing where a structure is just much, much clearer than anything else. al7ayaa hek

there are ways in which an lot of these mixups make sense. especially with gifmakers/captioners/authors who happen to be british. mickey DOES use double negatives (btw, this is a feature of many languages, including closely related german) occasionally (i think), and famously "you ain't window shopping" but i can't think of any occasion where he uses a construction like habitual "be" or a "you been a pain in the ass the whole time i known you" (made up example) he also doesn't exempt "have" from "where the hell have you been", he just reduces it to a single schwa sound.

when mickey says "doesn't mean i'm gonna wear a dress" it's absolutely true that he's not articulating the "s" and taken purely literally "don't" is closer to what you heard. culturally, however, "don't" has a different pronunciation than "doesn't" in a way unrelated to the "s". the biggest difference is in the vowel. so mickey's "doesn't" is "glottal stop-schwa-syllabic N-glottal stop" where as "don't" written in that same spot gramatically will read as "d-oʊ-glottal stop"

shameless netflix captioners do something similar with lip. he gets captioned as "aight" a lot when he doesn't articulate "lr" - technically, literally, closer to his actual utterance. but the connotations bring up a different pronunciation entirely. lip isn't white boy carl.

i think unfortunately in addition to being mistakes made by people with little understanding of or exposure to the details of AAVE these can often be based on people's assumptions about what a poor or "criminal" or "uneducated" accent sounds like, moreso than on actual observation of speech patterns. which is just like. a slightly subtler form of racism

anyway. since i'm on this topic i just want to mention that i'm fairly sure ian's speech changes in s10/11 to be more similar to mickey's. i haven't been taking very careful note of his speech patterns but i think it's cute.

[brokeitwiththepowerofmathamatics]

Fanfic - Desynced: Chapter 8

(Ao3 here) (FF.net here)

By the time they had been given the all clear to return home, it had grown quite late. The sun was beginning to set. The Fentons rode back in their vehicle with the agents following them in their damaged van. The door had been strapped to the top of the van, and Danny could tell whatever magic the agents had used to hide them had worn off judging by the strange looks the other drivers were giving them.

They arrived home to two additional agents standing around their home. Frankly, Danny didn’t think he’d be able to tell them apart, even from Agent O or Agent K. They were standing over several gashes in the ground with a flashlight. There were physical differences, of course. However, when Danny tried to remember which agent was which, it was like any identifying information slipped through his mind, leaving a simple base concept behind.

If Danny hadn’t been dealing with so much other shit lately, it’d have been creepy. Now it wasn’t even on his top five on the list of things he had to deal with.

When Danny got closer, he realized that they had been standing over a set of tire tracks on his front lawn, and through his mother’s garden.

Whatever did this was lucky it was hard to kill. His mom was going to go on a warpath over that.

The agents all stood around it, with Jack and Maddie following momentarily. “Whatever it was, it’s gone now.” The agents stated. “It definitely seemed to want to get inside, but it wasn’t able to.”

“I’d have been impressed if it had,” Maddie stated, rubbing her chin. She spoke through gritted teeth, and both Danny and Jack straightened at the cold fury in her words. “The wards were placed in the foundation. They’re sealed shut with the house literally on top of them.

Danny shoved his hands in his pocket, trying to appear nonchalant. “How do you know this was a magic thing?”

The agent moved his flashlight to highlight part of the house. On the second floor, between Danny’s and Jazz’s rooms, was a tire track skid mark on the brick.

“Oh…”

The agent flicked off the flashlight. “I think this confirms that we need the portal investigation taken care of. Something wanted in your house. This has never happened before, correct?”

“We’ve never actually seen a magical entity before,” Maddie answered. “All our studies were done after the fact from reports.”

The agents all nodded as one. “Understood.” One of the agents stepped away and pulled out a walkie-talking from his suit and began fiddling with it. “We’ll relay a message to HQ, this is fast approaching our highest priority.”

Danny turned incredulously toward the agent. “I thought two a year was considered a lot? And we’re at five now?”

The agent looked at Danny over his sunglasses. “Yes, five is almost unheard of.”

“Then why… never mind, I’m realizing I don’t want to know.”

“Good, you can learn.”

Maddie sighed and moved toward the front door. “Well, no time like the present. The sooner we figure out the portal, the sooner we can figure out what’s going on with my son.”

The two new agents glanced at Danny, and the other two explained. “He has shown remarkable healing powers.”

“Convenient.”

***

“So… that’s it?” Tucker asked, as they walked down the street. “You guys had some sort of magical entity attack your house, and the agents and your parents just said, ‘whelp, back to work’?”

Danny shrugged. The action made the thermos his parents gave him clink against his side. “I don’t know what to tell you man, it’s not like they’re gonna solve the secrets of the universe in a night or whatever.”

“Dude… we have been attacked three times by weird monsters.” Tucker folded his arms and huffed. “This is crazy, man. And I’m gonna be honest, you’re beginning to weird me out too, like, you’re acting like this is all normal.”

“It definitely isn’t,” Danny admitted, shrugging. “But I don’t know what you want me to do about it.” Danny hummed and stretched. “I mean, I guess we could try and figure out why the meat monster is attacking.”

“Oh hell to the no, I am not Freddy, I’m not a member of the Scooby Gang, I am not going anywhere near the apparently haunted school.”

Danny laughed and pushed Tucker. “Oh come on, you’re saying you wouldn’t go into the school for triple threat nasty melt with extra bacon.”

Tucker opened his mouth to immediately say no, but then he thought about it. “I mean… how long would I need to be in there?”

“You’re right, you’re not Freddy, you’re Scooby.”

Tucker was saved from defending himself when Danny saw Sam across the street. It took a moment for the two of them to recognize her, since she was wearing a big heavy sweater. Danny realized after a moment she was probably covering the bandages that were no doubt still running up her arms.

It’s not like everyone was lucky enough to have a magical portal open on top of them, making them feel like they were floating outside their body while also giving them healing powers.

He shouted and waved at her, causing her to jerk up. She started running across the street, taking two steps into the road before stepping back and looking both ways. Once she saw it was clear, then she jaywalked across the street.

“Heya, Sam,” Danny said, waving at her again as she got closer. “I’m surprised your parents let you out.”

“They didn’t,” Sam admitted. “I snuck out.” She shrugged as Danny’s face made a complicated expression. It was something like a smile while frowning. Sam brushed her hair behind her ear and sighed. “My dad was cooking meat again, so my grandma distracted my parents.” She sighed. “I think my dad thinks if he cooks a bunch of meat, I’ll go back to not being vegan.”

“Can we trade parents for a week?” Tucker asked. Danny shot Tucker a look as Sam reared back. Tucker shrugged and said, “What? She doesn’t want to eat meat, and my mom wants me to try a salad.”

Before Danny could tell Tucker off, Sam laughed mirthlessly. “Trust me, I wish I could have your parents.”

“They are pretty great, aren't they?”

Danny breathed out a sigh of relief, seeing his two friends get along. The two turned to look at him, with Tucker raising an eyebrow and Sam looking a bit confused herself. The two glanced at each other, and then had the realization that they were getting along. They looked back at Danny and gave him a smile.

“Seems like you all made up.”

Danny whirled around, as both Tucker and Sam jumped. Johnny was leaning back against his motorcycle. He chuckled as Danny put a hand to his chest to calm a beating heart. “Jeez, kid, you don't have to be so jumpy.”

“You startled me,” Danny muttered defensively. He folded his arms and glared at Johnny. “Where did you come from?”

Johnny snorted. “I’ve been here all along, dude. Not my fault you couldn't see me.” Johnny lifted a cigarette to his lips before taking a drag off it. He waved his hand at the three of them as he breathed out the smoke. “But you all seem a lot happier since last time.”

Tucker and Sam looked at each other before Sam shoved her hands into her pockets. “And who are you?”

Johnny waved cheekily. “Name’s Johnny. A week ago, I saw your friend here throwing a lunch box across the park. Kid was pissed off.” Johnny pulled on his cigarette. “I think you two would know more about that part.”

Sam and Tucker winced as Danny sighed. “What are you doing, Johnny?”

Johnny tilted his head. “Me? Nothing really. I'm just trying to meet up with my girl. She got held up somewhere and I haven't been able to reach her.”

Sam looked up. “Where was she? Is she safe?”

“Safe? Probably. Where she is? I dunno. If I knew, I wouldn't be trying to meet up with her.”

“You try calling her?” Tucker asked.

Johnny gave Tucker an unamused glare as he took another puff.

“Yeah… probably the first thing you did.”

Johnny sighed. “I know she's alright, she's pretty tough. I just can't get to where I think she is. Some feds turned me away.”

Sam and Tucker glanced at each other. “You mean the ones who showed up at Casper yesterday?”

“Yeah, those guys in the white suits.” Johnny said, snapping his fingers pointing at Sam. Danny sucked in a sharp breath and took a step back. Danny reached over and pushed Sam back as well, before tugging on Tucker and trying to pull him back.

Tucker looked back at Danny. “What's the big deal?”

“You have a motorcycle…” Danny pointed out the obvious. Danny continued to put distance between his friends and Johnny. “And… you saw me throw the lunchbox.”

Johnny’s head tilted slowly, the angle going a bit too far to be normal, almost but not quite getting parallel to the ground. Johnny lifted the cigarette to his lips before saying, “You can help a brother out, can't you?”

“Guys,” Danny said, “run.”

Danny grabbed Sam’s hand and started dragging her away, Tucker immediately followed.The sound of scraping metal echoed behind them. The sound of tires skidding and metal colliding reverberated throughout Danny’s body.

Long skeletal fingers appeared in Danny’s vision, as Johnny caught up with them. There were bits of pieces of flesh left on them, but most of it had appeared to have been scraped away. Johnny’s hand landed on Danny’s shoulder, before yanking him back, tearing him away from Sam.

When Danny impacted against the ground, he felt himself hit the ground twice. Once with the version of him that was floating around his body, and the other with his flesh and blood. The sound of metal colliding with concrete rang out on the street, but Danny couldn’t pay attention to it.

Not with Johnny’s true form in front of him.

There was a car tire buried into Johnny’s back, and Danny could see his rib cage had been caved in on his back underneath it. A couple of exhaust pipes stuck out from Johnny’s torso, and much of Johnny’s arm had been revealed, with his right sleeve having torn. His arm looked much like his fingers had, with the flesh having been scrapped away to the point that the bone and sinew had become visible.

He knew that Johnny had turned around quickly, but it felt like an age passed as the front of Johnny began to become visible. There was a headlight in place of one of Johnny’s eyes, the metal having pushed aside part of his face to make way for it, resulting in his other eye having been misshapen. Most of his hair was still there, but the part of his skull over the headlight was gone, revealing a greyish matter that Danny didn’t want to acknowledge.

Danny tried to scramble back, as Johnny advanced on him. It felt like his limbs were all over the place. His hands slipped into the ground, and his feet couldn’t find purchase in the air. Johnny took two steps towards Danny, before lifting him with just one arm.

And then Sam smacked Johnny over the head with both fists.

Johnny’s head dipped slightly, and he froze completely. Slowly his head turned toward Sam, and though it seemed like someone had taken a sander to his lips and face, it seemed like he was giving her a frown.

Danny reared back with one leg. Johnny was holding him up in the air, leaving Danny’s legs dangling freely in the air. With a loud yell, Danny brought his leg forward as hard as he could. The problem was, Johnny’s limbs like this were too long, there was no way Danny could hit him with his foot.

So instead, a ghostly imprint of a foot appeared right in between Johnny’s legs.

Johnny immediately dropped Danny, falling to his knees. He doubled over as the sounds of a car crash came out of him. Danny got back to his feet and then ran around Johnny. “Go, go, go!” he shouted.

“Look out!” Tucker called, pointing behind Danny. Danny turned to see what he was supposed to be avoiding, only to see a black smog coming out of the exhaust pipes. It was so thick that Danny couldn’t see through it.

Which made it all the easier to see when a glowing green face appeared in it. The sound of breaking glass and car horns came out of the smog’s mouth, before it dove towards Danny. Danny instinctively tried to defend himself by swatting it out of the air, but utterly failed.

Then he realized that he hadn’t been the smog’s target.

The smog slipped by Danny with ease, swimming through the air, and wrapping itself around Sam. The sound of a stuttering car horn rang out in a mockery of a laugh. Sam screamed for a moment, before the smog wrapped itself around her face. Her eyes widened in panic and Danny could hear her muffled cries for help.

That tearing feeling Danny had whenever Sam or Tucker got upset came back with a vengeance, and Danny let out a growl in rage. He reached out to grab the smog and tear it off of her, but she was just out of reach.

So when he grabbed the smog, it wasn’t with his flesh and blood hands, but instead with a long bony limb.

***

Tucker’s eyes widened, as he heard both his and Sam’s voice come from Danny’s mouth. One moment his friend was standing there, then the next a pitch black monster with bones capping its limbs was instead. The smog turned to look at Danny – and that had to have been Danny – and its eyes widened before Danny yanked it off Sam. It looked kind of like when someone did that tablecloth trick where they pulled it out from underneath everything but didn’t make a huge mess.

Only instead of flourishing the table cloth, Danny whipped the smog around and bashed it against Johnny’s head.

Johnny flinched slightly, and the smog in Danny’s hands dissipated, only to reform floating behind Johnny. Johnny slowly stood up and turned towards Danny. The sound of metal crashing and glass breaking rang out at the same as Tucker’s and Sam’s voices echoed over the street.

Then Danny rushed Johnny, his claws reaching out to try and spear him through the chest. The smog dove at Danny blocking his vision as Johnny leaned to the side and drove an uppercut into Danny’s chest. The sounds of bones breaking rang out and Danny took a step back away from the other two.

Sam’s coughing caught Tucker’s attention, and he rushed over to her. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Sam said, too quickly for Tucker to really believe it. She looked up at the fight in front of her. “Is that…?”

“Danny?” Tucker finished for her, “Yeah, I think it is. You were getting attacked, and he went all monster on them.”

Sam’s eyes flicked between the three combatants. She reached over and grabbed Tucker’s arm and tugged on him. “We gotta help him!”

“How the hell are we supposed to do that?” Tucker hissed. “In case you haven’t noticed, despite what my profile icons say, I’m not a werewolf.” Danny pounced forward, pushing Johnny to the ground. The sounds of bones breaking rang out as Danny brought his head down to Johnny’s throat. He bit into it and started shaking back and forth, making Johnny cry out in pain. “Also, it seems like he’s got it handled.”

The smog circled around Danny’s face and body, and slowly began to lift Danny up. Johnny followed for a moment, before Danny jerked and dropped him. Johnny got up and backhanded Danny across the face with enough force to make him bounce along the sidewalk.

Sam pulled on Tucker’s arm. “The bottle!” She said, pointing at the device. It was currently sitting in the gutter.

Past the fight between the ghosts.

“We don’t even know if it’ll work!” Tucker said, pulling back.

“You got any better ideas?”

“No.”

“Then go get it!”

“Me? Why not you? You’re faster!”

“You want to distract them?”

“Nope. One magic bottle, coming up.”

Sam pushed Tucker toward the street and she took a step away from it. “Hey! Ugly!” She shouted. Neither of the ghosts even looked in her direction. She looked down at the ground and groaned. “Figures, the one time I want trash around.” She looked up and saw a trash can at the corner. She ran over and opened the lid. She stuck her arm in and reached around.

She grimaced as she touched something wet, but she pulled it out. She didn’t even look, instead throwing it at Johnny’s head. The brown mash of something sailed through the air before striking Johnny.

And it just passed through him.

Fortunately for her, it made Johnny turn in her direction. He glanced back at Danny, who was currently trying to swat the smog creature out of the air, before he turned and started walking in Sam’s direction.

Ice filled Sam’s veins as he slowly made his way towards her. She took a few steps back as he approached. He flexed his fingers as he approached and Sam couldn’t help but notice that the bones had been filed down into claws.

“Yo! Jackass!” Tucker shouted, holding up the thermos in front of him and pointing it at Johnny. When Johnny turned to look at him, he shouted as he tore the lid off. “Eat this!”

Nothing happened.

Johnny stopped his march towards Sam and started running at Tucker.

“Shit shit shit!” Tucker shouted, waving the thing around. “Why didn’t this come with a-” Suddenly Johnny stopped as the remains of his jacket began to flutter in the direction of Tucker, as if a wind was picking up behind him. He leaned back, but began to slide in Tucker’s direction. He turned and slammed his hand down into the pavement. His claws dragged against the concrete, leaving furrows behind. Sam could see the bones break suddenly and Johnny went flying in Tucker’s direction.

Tucker let out a high pitched scream, but Johnny didn’t actually hit him. Instead his entire self slid into the opening, squeezing in rapidly as the sound of bones cracking and metal bending rang out.

In seconds, he disappeared entirely.

Tucker opened his eyes and saw that Johnny was gone. He heard the sound of glass breaking and he whirled to see Danny and the smog creature looking at him. The smog hesitated for a moment, before diving at Tucker. Tucker whirled the thermos around and just in time activated it again. This time the ghost had no time to react and flew right into the bottle.

Leaving just Danny.

Danny slowly approached Tucker. Tucker held the bottle up. “Hey man, don’t do it. Just… stay back alright.”

Sam ran over and pushed Tucker’s hands down. “Don’t!”

“Hey, I just want to make sure he’s in there!” Tucker said, trying to raise it back up.

Sam tried to pull the thermos out of Tucker’s hands. “No! Don’t! He won’t hurt us!” Sam managed to slip it from Tucker’s fingers, but it flew right out of her hands too. It bounced along the ground and landed right at Danny’s feet.

Tucker and Sam held their breath as Danny stared at the thermos. He bent down, claws reaching for it. It appeared he missed, his claws piercing the concrete in front of it, but then it rose up as if someone was holding it. The claws made movements as if they were manipulating the thermos, but it appeared no one was carrying it. It was just floating there underneath the monstrous form.

Then slowly, Danny’s human self appeared underneath it. His eyes seemed to be staring at nothing, but his human hands twisted the cap back on slowly. With each turn, the ghost standing over him slowly faded away, until eventually it was just Danny as they knew him.

Danny blinked, and let out a breath. “Are you guys alright?”

Tucker wet his lips and then opened his mouth to tell him that they were. “The fuck, dude?”

Sam threw the back of her hand into his stomach, making him gasp. “Ignore him, are you okay?”

Danny looked down at his hand, the bone capped limb appeared next to his for a moment, mirroring his movements before it disappeared. “Well, I think I know what’s been wrong with me now at least.”

[kiseiakhun]

Things about Kyle I know the fandom would go insane over and make a dozen AU's and extrapolate complete nonsense with no basis in canon (complimentary) over if the lantern fandom was as big as batfam:

- his gang leader uncledad

- his secret agent real dad

- his hinted at secret agent mom?

- that time he completely gave up on earth and just went to live in space all by himself because he was convinced he was poisonous to everyone around him and everyone around him dies and he has to remove himself in order to save them

- the Everything about him and Wally

- guykyle would be the big jaggernaut ship and kylewally would be the second big ship. Either that or connorkyle. Probably kylewally though because connor would be surrounded by a halo of ace discourse. He already is surrounded by bad ace discourse but imagine if the fandom was bigger, it would be awful

- seriously people would get sooooooo weird (pos) over Kyle's gang leader uncledad. People would ship him with his uncledad. There would be thousands of fanfics about Kyle being abused by his uncledad and his saviour of choice coming to rescue him

- everything about ion? Kyle becoming god??? Sooooo many aus about him staying as a white lantern

- I bet Kyle would go through the lantern gauntlet wheel because he's been every single shade of lantern in canon. It's a plot point that he can use every emotional spectrum so people are going to run with that

- Kyle/sinestro bad touch

- Kyle getting trained by batman. You know all those fics about Hal getting to know the batkids in batlantern? Yeah that should be KYLE. Am I pushing my brucekyle agenda. Perhaps. I just think it would be funnier for Kyle to try and bond with the batkids as their new stepmom. He's the same age as dick.

- no powers aus where he lives above radus and is still in art school

[books]

Writer Spotlight: Olivie Blake

Olivie Blake (@olivieblake) is the pseudonym of the writer Alexene Farol Follmuth, author of multiple novels, anthologies, graphic novels, and film scripts, many of which involve the fantastic, the paranormal, or the supernatural. Her works revolve around the collective experience, what it means to be human (or not), and the endlessly interesting complexities of life and love. Cult-favorite The Atlas Six was re-released in a revised hardcover edition last month with Tor Books. A sequel in October and a live-action series are forthcoming. Alexene lives and works in Los Angeles with her husband and new baby, where she is generally tolerated by her rescue pit bull.

Read on for Olivie’s favored medeian specialty, lessons learned from writing fanfic, her take on dark academia, and the process of self-publishing books people love.

Not to spoil anything for the three and a half people who maybe haven’t yet read The Atlas Six, but can you tell us a bit about the world of the series?

First of all, I appreciate the wording of this question. Thank you for that. Secondly, The Atlas Six is about the six uniquely talented magicians vying for initiation to the Alexandrian Society, a secret society of caretakers who protect and contribute to the archives of “lost” knowledge from the Library of Alexandria and throughout history. In the book’s contemporary setting, the question of how to combat climate change is answered politically and economically with magic, so the characters exist openly in a world where magicians, called medeians, are university-educated and contribute to a system of capitalism much like ours. These particular six candidates each have a rare magical specialty and a myriad of personal motivations for pursuing the Society’s promise of wealth, power, and knowledge—which drives their tendency to want to kiss or kill any of the others at any given moment. (Two of them already hate each other, and the rest are about to.) And there is obviously a catch to this extraordinary opportunity: only five of the six are guaranteed initiation.

What’s the journey been like writing, self-publishing, and re-releasing The Atlas Six? 

This is absolutely the weirdest timeline. I don’t know of any better way to put it. I wrote this book when I was starting to think that publishing wasn’t going to happen for me. I’ve always split myself in two, writing manuscripts to cold query to agents while also self-publishing the stories I wanted to tell that I didn’t feel were a good fit for the market. Basically, I was self-publishing for the handful of beloved weirdos willing to follow me wherever I went. (Find your flock, they say. Good advice.) 

I knew from my initial concept that this book wasn’t right for publishing en masse—it was too hard to explain in a quick pitch to an agent without sounding derivative. It was too character-driven for genre standards. It had a familiar setting and hook but with a very unconventional execution. There was no hero or villain. Every character was 100% sexually fluid. It was too quiet for spec fic. I was in a really think-y place, trying to figure out whether it was responsible to bring a baby into a world where it’s impossible to be ethical. In the end, I figured I could just write it for myself, exactly as I wanted to write it, while nobody cared enough about me to say no. 

So I wrote it. Released it. People seemed to like it, but it wasn’t doing numbers. Within a few months, I had finished another manuscript and finally gotten an agent for a completely separate project—my young adult rom-com, My Mechanical Romance. I figured, okay, I guess I’m a YA author now, at least until those obligations are fulfilled, so Atlas will have to wait. But, I reasoned, thankfully, only a few people were waiting.

Then I got pregnant. I wrote another YA manuscript. Something weird happened on Twitter. (A very “somehow, Palpatine returned” situation.) People started talking about the book. I gave birth to my son. Something weirder happened on TikTok. A LOT of people started talking about the book. Suddenly my book that had absolutely no commercial appeal was...commercially appealing? I signed with Tor to finish out the trilogy (!). Then…producers wanted to meet with me? So I was like? Okay? In between my baby’s naps, I wrote the sequel and optioned the book for TV. I…got on the NYT bestseller list? I went on tour in two countries? At this point, it all dissolves into a fever dream. Is this real? I really don’t know. I haven’t slept more than two consecutive hours in almost a year. 

On a serious note, revising The Atlas Six was such an incredible opportunity. I went from being a one-woman show (with the help of one or two friends and, of course, my beloved collaborator @littlechmura) to suddenly having the resources to actually make the book into what I wanted it to be. I got to stretch out a little, narratively speaking, and take up more space. New illustrations! New cover! New feedback! New ways to reach a new audience! Suddenly the book of my mind became the book of many minds and was all the better for it. It was then, and is now, a product of some kind of magic. For five years, I wrote ten to twelve hours a day, posting millions and millions of words for free, purely because I loved it—loved it to the point where it broke my heart to think of doing anything else. And now? 

Well, now I have imposter syndrome, of course. But my god, what a beautiful con.

Do you have a favorite character among the six? Why? What does their Tumblr look like?

I don’t have a favorite character—I personally think it’s detrimental for the author to have a favorite when creating an ensemble cast that relies so heavily on changing POVs for the narration—BUT I do feel strongly that Libby and Nico would be the most active on Tumblr. Libby writes poems and carefully curates her aesthetic. I sense a little cottagecore in her. Probably a lot of melancholy art, too. Nico definitely runs an absolute chaosphere of a blog depending on whatever his fixation is at the time. He’s one of those mutuals where you followed him five years ago and can’t remember why because he’s changed fandoms several times, but at least the GIF sets he reblogs are entertaining. 

This reissue includes illustrations from your longtime collaborator, illustrator Little Chmura (@littlechmura). What draws you to this kind of collaboration? 

If you were fortunate enough to become friends with a brilliant artist, wouldn’t you try to lure them in, any chance you got? I love art. I love storytelling as an art and writing as an art. I love the adrenaline rush of creativity I get from working with other artists who are equally passionate about their craft. Sometimes, brainstorming an illustration with Little Chmura makes me feel inspiration in its purest form. The incendiary kind. All of my books contain art from her because it just contributes that much more to the story. Or, at the very least, it helps the story vibe properly. 

You got your start writing Dramione fanfic. What did writing fanfic teach you about writing?

Okay, random start here, but go with me: I really loved this Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again oral history on Vulture where they said that the film was referred to as a crowd-pleaser in a way that was meant to be an insult. A crowd-pleaser, how meaningless. But the producers posed a critically important question: do you know how hard it is to please a crowd? Fanfic authors do. There is no other medium as dependent on audience enjoyment as fanfic. The entire medium is reliant on characterization and emotional beats. Imperfect plot or disrupted pacing can be forgiven if something sweet or hot happens along the way, but failing to be true to a character’s narrative arc or committing to a cheap bit like gratuitous character death is grounds for the proverbial guillotine. 

The number one thing I learned as a fanfic author is always to keep one eye on the audience’s heart. Should it be racing? Fluttering? Aching? Should it, dare I say it, break? Pleasing (or devastating) a crowd is best learned via the fanfic structure: episodic and evolving with constant feedback. Learning how to make someone keysmash in your reviews is a carefully honed skill.

You’re very active online, with copious amounts of asks answered on your Tumblr and a video series on Youtube. Do you have a favorite fan interaction? 

I have been more active in the past—this is a very busy year, what with the chaos goblin I birthed, a slightly unhinged production schedule, and three book releases! I’m feeling very guilty about my untended inbox, but I do love Tumblr. There, I said it! I love Tumblr! I love the multimedia curation! The possibility of long-form communication! The ads that do not, in any way, appear to be stealing my data! Anyway, no, I don’t think I could pick a favorite. There have been too many beautiful interactions, especially from people who’ve been reading my stuff for years. 

Well, I guess one that stands out is a seemingly small series of events: I wrote a short friends-to-lovers fic about two engineers. It sparked a conversation on Tumblr between women who were pushed out of STEM at an early age and women in STEM fields who had never seen themselves in fiction before. It led to my YA book, My Mechanical Romance, especially after one user told me she wished she’d had my writing when she was younger. I thought, okay, well, good point, I should tell a story specifically for our younger selves. And now here we are.

What would your specialty be if you were a medeian, and why?

Telepathy. I’m incredibly nosy. I’d love to have a more nuanced reason, but that’s honestly it.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve received?  

Potentially a bit overused, but the thing that has helped me most is the “you can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page” quote that Google is currently telling me comes from Jodi Picoult (I obviously first heard it on Tumblr). I have always been a pantser, meaning I fly by the seat of my pants when I write (fanfic is very conducive for such things), and I really had to learn to love revision. It doesn’t matter if you get the first draft right. The first draft is just the skeleton. To everyone who struggles with anxiety or creative blocks, I typically think it helps to tell yourself the first draft is allowed to suck. It’s kind of supposed to suck! Don’t romanticize this idea that writing is when the muse hands you the perfect words in perfect sequence. The craft of writing isn’t about the first draft. It’s about everything you do to bring the story to life. 

What fuels your interest in dark academia? Do you have a favorite dark academia book/film/series/game?

To me, The Atlas Six is true academia—very The Secret History in terms of having long philosophical discussions about the meaning of art and beauty, except I did it with physics and psychology. It’s dark, of course, because of all the gray morality and institutional rot and inadvisable sexual tension. That’s a feature, not a bug, and I love when authors get a little weird with it. I love Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas, Bunny by Mona Awad, Plain Bad Heroines by Emily Danforth. Academia is weird and messed up by most standards, so the outsiders (BIPOC and queer authors) really do some fascinating work handling its darkness. 

The Atlas Paradox comes out in October. Is there anything you can tell us about it?

I personally think it is funnier in the way things are funny when the characters have all begun existentially melting. (I’m an empath, she says chaotically.) People who have read it tell me it’s better than the first book. My publishers tell me hearts will be broken. But I leave all that for others to determine, of course… 

Thanks @olivieblake! The Atlas Six is now available everywhere you can get books!

[dduane]

Hi, Ms. Duane! I was wondering if you'd be willing to answer a question about working with an editor. In doing fan works, I've encountered two different approaches to editing other people's work, and I was wondering if one or the other was more common in professional circles

With the first approach, the writer submits a draft to the editor, who looks it over and suggests or requires changes to be made, and sends the draft back to the writer for revision. The writer then makes the changes and resubmits the new draft, and the process continues until the editor is satisfied.

With the second approach, the writer submits a draft to the editor, who looks it over and makes any changes they think are necessary themselves. They then inform the writer that the changes were made after the fact, and may not give the writer an opportunity to look over those changes for themselves.

Is there a general expectation that one or the other approaches be followed, in a professional setting? (assuming for the sake of argument that there is either no given deadline for publication, or that the interaction is happening well in advance of such a deadline) Or does it vary based on the editor in question? (I'm sorry, that might actually be three questions)

(Also, since I'd feel bad about contacting you just for a "shop" question, I'd also like to say thank you for... well, for a lot of things, actually, but this time I'll pick one and say thank you for Peach; in my adult life I've always made sure to read any contract before I sign it. And you'd be surprised what sort of weird clauses end up in EULAs)

Thank you!

You're very welcome! And yeah, always read the small print. Always. ALWAYS.

Meanwhile, re: the editing:

Re fanfic: I can speak only in a very limited mode to this issue. In particular, "editing" strikes me as a possibly rather slippery term for what happens when there is no written contract between you and the person judging your work, and no money has changed hands. (The old saying "Advice is worth exactly what you paid for it..." keeps coming up in the background. But after four decades, I can hardly be blamed.)

It's hardly going to be a secret these days that, for my own pleasure and that of some others, I do still (when there’s time and inclination) write fanfic. In a somewhat unguarded/screwball mood I outed myself in this regard at a media con in the UK ten years or so ago, and it continues to amuse me how little notice was taken then, or has been since. It's always good to be reminded, if gently, of (the lack of) one's importance.  :)

...Anyway. As I like to get things as right as I can, I have one deeply trusted beta* who alerts me to any hiccups in execution of plot and/or prose, inquires about issues I might have missed, and otherwise lets me get on with what I'm doing. If there are other behavioral or structural rigors routinely expected of fanfic editors, I don't know about them. My understanding is that we're all doing this for fun, and for the (potential) enjoyment of other people; and my feeling would be that asking more of a fellow ficcer, let alone requiring it, would be Too Much Like Work. And jeez, I'd think we all have more than enough of that.

As regards the relationship between writer and editor at the professional end: in forty years of doing this work at the money-changes-hands end, across three out of five major publishing houses in the US/UK markets and numerous minor ones, I have never, never, NEVER, had an editor attempt to interact with me in the second mode you describe. And if they did, I would be on the phone to my agent in really short order demanding to know what the hell was going on at that publisher... because unless that behavior stopped right this minute, I would make sure that I never darkened their door again. If contractual requirements made it impossible for me to leave after turning that book in, I would at the very least do my damndest to be assigned another editor. Because such behavior is absolutely beyond the pale, and would not be considered professional or permissible anywhere I’ve worked. 

(Noting here: copy-editors—the people who edit one’s text for typos, format issues, etc etc—are not editors in the sense we’re discussing. Every traditionally-published writer I know has horror stories about copy-editors who’ve messed up their prose. And it is always the writer’s right to put everything back exactly the way it was before the CE got at it. ...For Thoth’s sweet sake don’t ever get @petermorwood started on this theme: he’ll bend your ear until it comes off in his hand. Some of his CEs apparently needed a two-by-four taken to them.)

At the professional end, in my experience, it is never the editor's business to make changes in your text without your consent. Or, indeed, any changes at all. It's their business to communicate to you what changes they feel are needed for the work to become “its best self” (and why!), and then to step back and let you make them... assuming you agree, and choose to make them. Acceptance or rejection of suggested changes is always assumed to be the author's responsibility... because at the end of the day, it's your name going on that work of fiction, NOT theirs. ...If after you’ve done all the edits you’re going to do (and you might have gone several rounds in this process: yeah, it can be a little like a boxing match…) and the editor still feels more work needs to be done when you don’t, then the situation is escalated to someone further up at the publisher, who makes any further necessary judgment calls.

In forty years and more than fifty novels, I’ve never had this happen. And I know a lot of writers... and have never once heard of this happening to any of them, either.

...So, leaning back into this at the fanfic end: if someone "editing" my fic tried to make changes in it without consulting me, I'd ask pretty sharply who the hell they thought had died and left them God.

Everybody needs to be clear that this is in no way whatsofuckingever an “I’ve Been Doing This For Forty Years And I’ve Been On The Times List X Times, Blah Blah Blah” issue. This is a most basic creativity issue that goes to the root of why people write (and write for pleasure) at all.

Writing is one of the very few areas of human existence in which a single being can wield utter, ultimate power. What happens between you and the paper (or the screen) can be anything you desire: ultimate purity or total depravity, the heights of Heaven or the depths of Hell, and anything in between. In that frame of experience and existence, you are God. To exercise such power is one of the very few forms of perfect freedom available to a member of our species... and admitting any other sentient being to that process is a profound intimacy.

If I was writing fanfic and someone tried making changes in work of mine without consulting me? -- without my consent? They would never lay eyes on my work again until it went up on AO3 (or whatever) and was safely out of reach of their meddling. And I would roll my eyes hard enough for them to fall out of their sockets at the very thought of them (every time such a thought came up). Because honestly!—the nerve of them powertripping over my stuff. Let them go be God in their own universe... not mine. Seriously, you have to draw a line somewhere.

So. Tl:dr: approach 2 is to be found nowhere in the professional fiction-publishing world. Anybody who tells you otherwise is deeply confused. Approach 1 (with the understanding that the author is the final arbiter of what changes get made) is the universal expectation.

HTH. (And if I’ve sounded a little emphatic about this: it’s about a basic writers’ right. Don’t let anyone try to take it off you.)  :)

*No, it’s not @petermorwood. He has enough on his plate, believe me.

[one-strugling-bean]

Random fanfic idea timeeeee (feel free to use)

My love for angst brought me here, you're welcome

So, we all know that Doctor Doofenshmirtz rarely ever gets hurt right?

And even when he does, it's never a serious wound. The man explodes all the time, falls off cliffs, gets stomped by giant robots, - but he always comes back the next frame with a couple bruises and that's it.

So what if one time, he did? What if one time, by random trickery from the Universe, he gets seriously hurt? What would happen?

How would Perry deal with the guilt from not having been able to protect the man he's grown to be so fond of? Because let's be honest here, Perry saves Heinz from himself almost as many times as he saves the Tri-state area from the doctor's schemes - it's kinda part of his job too.

I like to think that Perry, after calling 911 and making sure Heinz is in as good hands as possible (and Carl and Norm had been a great help there since he himself couldn't call and talk to the paramedics once they arrived) just kinda goes down. He feels awful over Heinz's accident - because that's what it had been, an accident, like always - and even though he feels that it's his responsibility to warn Vanessa - she's his daughter - he just, can't bring himself to. A mix of shame, guilt, worry, and dread takes hold of the agent and he just, can't face Vanessa.

And Vanessa? How would she deal with it? How would she feel when her mom called her school, asking for Vanessa to leave early, so she could give the news to her daughter? How would she feel, when, after years of fretting over her dad as he got into all kinds of accidents without coming to harm, her fears are finally justified?

He's hurt, in the hospital, and in pretty bad shape if her mom's nervous ticks and expressions (and her mom is usually such a chill person) are anything to go by.

After a couple unwanted days of break (his nemesis was his job after all - no nemesis, no work) which Perry spends hiding in the corners of his home, jumping at the slightest beep from his watch, only to notice it's from an unknown number that he has a pretty good guess who it belongs to, he finally gains the courage to go see Doof at the hospital.

I like to imagine that it was Phineas or Ferb that finally cracked him - they were just arguing over cereals or something equally random, but then Phineas mentioned a thing or Ferb made a specific comment that just hit Perry the right way.

Vanessa finds Perry there a couple hours later; he's sleeping, curled up next to Heinz's inanimated body, his bill hidden away from view under her father's hand. Her heart melts at the sight and she doesn't dare to wake up the agent - even if she stays there until he does by himself, because she is, rightly so, a little pissed and has a few questions that need answers.

He watches his enemy sleep peacefully in the hospital bedroom he broke into and feels like crying all of a sudden. It's weird, Perry doesn't usually cry. He's a secret agent, - the best OWCA has to offer. He shouldn't be crying over this. But seeing his partner, usually so loud and spiteful and lively, lying there, still and unconscious breaks Perry's heart, and he's sure that the image of Heinz lying on that bed will be a source of nightmares for months.

So yeah, she wants answers.

The first thing she had thought of after being informed of her dad's health was Perry - where was he, why wasn't he there, with her dad? Vanessa knew how much they cared about each other, and Perry was practically Doofenshmirtz's guardian angel, so it was weird he wasn't around. It had been Norm (and eventually Carl) who talked to the emergency services and although Perry accompanied the robot and the scientist to the hospital (Norm's words), apparently he had left as soon as Heinz was declared stable. That didn't sound right with the caring platypus she knew.

So she tries to get in contact with Perry, first by calling OWCA headquarters, and when that doesn't work, by bullying Monty until he gives it to her. That doesn't get her very far though, as Perry does not respond to any of the calls, texts and voicemails she sends to the number that OWCA has marked as his contact.

Perry wakes up and it's awkward. He was just caught in an embarrassing situation, he still feels responsible for Heinz's condition and it's just so hard to confront Vanessa right then.

Obviously, they talk it out - it takes a little longer than it could, as Vanessa isn't as good at translating platypus chirring into English as her dad is, and Perry isn't the best at communicating his feelings in general, - and Vanessa tries to ease Perry's woes by explaining that accidents happen and that she doesn't blame him (she actually had, maaaaaybe a little, when Norm told her Perry had left her dad so quickly, but it had been a fleeting emotion that was quickly buried under piles of worry and anxiety).

It helps Perry a lot, knowing Vanessa doesn't hold it against him, but he's not able to completely let go of the guilt. It gnaws at him every time he takes a peek at Heinz's still body.

Heinz does eventually wake up and get better, and immediately he's back to his loud and obnoxious persona, but he's surprised over how happy everyone looks upon seeing him - Vanessa cried when he woke up, that really scared him, he had to hold her for a long time until she calmed down; his ex-wife also seemed unusually fond when she first visited him, and Norm barely left his side anymore (if he could, he would've cried a lot more than Vanessa). Perry the platypus visits him every day, and while that isn't surprising, the care the platypus shows him - fluffing up his pillow, bringing him all kinds of trinkets to keep the scientist occupied, encouraging Heinz to continue when he goes on one of his never-ending rambles, indulging him when Heinz wants to do something less correct (and isn't that a first?) - does things to Heinz's heart, things that he hasn't felt in so long he sometimes wonders whether he's really woken up or not.

Basically, when all of this is done and Doctor Doofenshmirtz is good to go back to DEI, he's feeling happier, healthier, and more loved than ever before (which was the 2nd main goal of this, after forcing the people close to Heinz to remember how precious he is to them).

He mentions once to Perry the platypus how well his accident had turned out in the end and Perry smacks him. He is characteristically moody for the rest of their daily thwarting session.

[underestimated-heroine]

My 10th reference post

*note: partway through making this post is when links became "at.tumblr.com" 😡😡😡*

General

TikTok tomcardy weird guy prank

Good writing masterpost

Cat wants owner to watch them drink water tiktok

TERF “it’s called biology retard” skulls

Fantasy-defying paintings

“We are Tumblr”

Baseball praying mantis ratatouille

Judgment Day by EC comics

KJ Applegate’s letter as a “murderer and child abuser”

On finding yourself through characters

Another writing ref post

People who need help need impersonal options

30-50 feral hogs

Stimming post

Don’t gays have a power bottom thing

The National Archives and Trump

Taylor Swift Jet White Hoe Post

Oldest undeleted post on Tumblr

Astronaut staring into nebula with the face of God

Taylor Swift Jet Contextualization

Mt. Everest Fiasco

Super Mario bro fanfic resume story

Those who think they’re above riddles

We don’t have the consent of the characters

Okay well…the tension she’s carrying isn’t going to bring him back lol

Art with built-in obsolescence

TikTok arm tattoo SPN

TikTok water guitar kid

Stop caring about celebrities

Fruit by the Foot Insults

TikTok Christian lady asking if they’re lesbians

The Shirley Exception

Hold baby Jesus ransom until he returns your keys

“why would you not want your alpha to mark you?” foul discourse

Can the police legally lie to you tiktok

Learn to read Korean in 15 mins

Firefighter who said “fuck cops” video

She’s just doing it for attention

33 hard-won lessons

Civility in US politics

I know Victoria’s Secret Flashmob and history

Damn Darcy is having a meltdown

Ahahaha classic tim raptorific

Off to read fanfiction! I am done reading fanfiction.

Back when you could edit posts

Online surveillance

John Green Cock Post

Shrek 2 trivia

How ffnet used to be

Pinecone dice TikTok cat won’t stop meowing

Incomprehensible SNL sketch shoot each other

Spiderman fan art

Fucked up Blaire witch Scooby Doo episode

Twilight Zone Emmet Till’s death quote on writing

Emergency service lynx tiktok

Tumblr users when a character makes bad choices

Reddit post girlfriend asked him to stop playing song

Black hole remix

Why movies aren’t like they were in the 1970s

she’s just a thot tiktok

Yo snooty mcsnotwhine world heritage post

Cointelpro

The Queen's first cousins

Daddy said I can do this so also me yelp reviews

UKG was right

"unalive" isn't youth culture

Contrapositive of the rich needing to suffer

Cointelpro comic

ADHD "just do it" attitude

Personal

Fuck you Disney 2

ATLA childish rights violation

Yakety sax outside the supreme court

I miss u 8tracka

Taylor Swift Climate Death deuwidbdkeov

Suicide Pact Camp

On my shit again about AoT because wtf is going on

The Tuesday to Wednesday darkening

September earth wind and fire fave dance vid

Dream on Glee

Susan and Narnia

When Tatsu tried to steal Frosch

Teslas and delivery bots shouldn’t be on the road

Garden-variety misogyny still exists

You can sometimes determine north and south from tree rings.

On Mindy kaling

Favorite cover of “Hallelujah”

Jarring mate in chains ad

30+ yo in the YA literature scene

MHA Midoriya Chase Bakugou Scene Screen Caps

Rich people with pr agents

Sp ike v Electr a

donation posts

unblur peoples’ blogs staff

zu k0 v z3 @0 atla

Laxus...again

Endeavor redemption

Kiwi farms

Things, Origins, and Momentum

Where yashahime showed its own ass

Inuyasha Inosuke

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Lila Rossi: I’d Say She’s a Good Villain, but Then I’d Be Lying (300 Follower Special)

Deception and cunning are easily two of the most important traits an antagonist could have. It shows that even if they don't have the strength to overcome obstacles, their wit is more than enough. This kind of trait is why characters like Lex Luthor, David Xanatos, and Princess Azula are so beloved, simply because of how intelligent they can be as villains and pose a real threat to the heroes.

It's clear that the Miraculous Ladybug writers want Lila to be seen as this, but the writing seriously fails to back that claim up.

Easily one of the most controversial characters in Miraculous Ladybug is Lila, mainly for the writing surrounding her. But there was a time where she was actually more of an ambiguous character, mainly for the lack of screentime she had until Season 3. But unfortunately, the more appearances she's had have painted a very poor portrait of an antagonist.

Lila's Tragic and Sympathetic Motivation for Hating Ladybug

Lila's first appearance was at the tail end of Season 1, “Volpina”. She was a new transfer student from Italy, and quickly made friends with a lot of her classmates for the lies she told, including being friends with Ladybug (which Alya blindly believed without doing any research like any excellent journalist). But because of how close she was getting to Adrien, Marinette, in a rare act of selfishness, transforms into Ladybug just to chew out Lila for lying about knowing her, humiliating her in front of Adrien. And this is the only motivation we get for what Lila does afterwards.

I'm not saying that it's wrong for Lila to get upset at Ladybug for doing this, and I like the moment of weakness Marinette has, but this is literally the only explanation we get for Lila deciding to side with Hawkmoth, a literal terrorist. As much as I hated the way the arc turned out, I could still understand Chloe siding with Hawkmoth, as it was clear that Hawkmoth was manipulating her and taking advantage of her ego. Lila? Ladybug's mean to her one time, and that inspires her to conspire with a complete stranger who brainwashes people to attack the city, which endangers innocent people and causes God knows how much in collateral damage if not for Miraculous Ladybug fixing everything.

I just don't get how a single negative interaction with someone is enough to conspire with a literal supervillain. Even in Season 3, when Marinette and Lila truly became enemies, it was because she risked exposing all the lies she told, which could damage her reputation. Sure, it's petty, but it makes sense for Lila to want to keep up the illusion. If she was simply an antagonist to Marinette in her civilian life like Chloe was before “Miracle Queen” , I'd be fine with that, but the writers clearly want her to be seen as on the same level of evil as Hawkmoth. I'll get into why that doesn't work later on.

Why Lila is an Excellent Liar

In my Master Fu analysis, I had pointed out that despite all the flaws he had, the narrative insisted on portraying him as an incredibly wise mentor. The same problem applies for Lila as well. We're supposed to see Lila as an expert manipulator and liar, but her lies are insultingly obvious. She always claims to be friends with celebrities and does all these awesome things, and in an age where we can have almost any question answered thanks to the internet, nobody ever stops to question her.

It's even more frustrating when you hear Lila talk about saving Jagged Stone's cat, when Jagged Stone is established to be very fond of Marinette (evidentially more than his own daughter), and nobody ever points that out. I think if Lila's lies were more stories about her travels around the world than outright lies about real people, it could have worked. It'd still be hard to believe, but it's something.

But this is a problem with writing shows aimed at children. As much as we hate writers who need to spell out things to kids, sometimes, they just don't understand some of the media they consume. Seriously, I never got this joke in SpongeBob as a kid, and I can't believe Nickelodeon actually approved this.

So the dilemma when writing a show with children in mind is finding that sweet spot between assuming your audience can figure it out, but not being too vague in your details. It's even harder when you need to find a way to convey the fact that someone is lying without being too obvious. Unfortunately, the show clearly fails to do that

Okay, this is going to sound like an incredibly weird thing to cite, and I only know about it because I used to know someone who was a huge fan of the franchise, but the movie Monster High: Friday Night Frights does a better job of subtly explaining to the audience that a character is lying. Please, just hear me out.

The movie follows the main characters competing in their high school's roller derby for the season after everyone on the usual team gets injured, and the championship match is against another school whose team tends to cheat to win matches. How they manage to do this without getting caught is anyone's guess. While the main characters are practicing, their coach, Clawd, notices a spy for the enemy team taking video of them to study their moves. In response, he calls over one of the athletes, Operetta, to chew her out for her showboating attitude. In reality, he's alerting her to the spy. Only using facial expressions, he clues her, and by extension, the audience, in on the fact that they know what the opposing team is trying to do.

This soon leads to Operetta pretending to tell the enemy team about their secret plan for the championship match, which was really an attempt to outsmart them to gain the advantage in the final stretch. The brilliance of this is how the audience is informed of this with no dialogue, and there's no scene afterwards spelling it out for those who don't get it. It manages to convey deception without being too obvious that Clawd and Operetta are being deceitful.

I think if there were more subtle hints to show the audience Lila was lying, she would be seen in a better light. As it is, Lila's lies are just pathetic, and it's ridiculous that everyone believes her. Which leads me to...

Lila, the Master Manipulator

I once read a Star Trek: Voyager fanfic that poked fun at the series by claiming that the reason a lot of the dumber episodes like “Threshold” and “Twisted” happened was because one of the crew members was an alien who unintentionally produced mood altering pheromones, with Captain Janeway actually realizing they were all high because of said pheromones, while two of the unaffected crew members were wondering what the hell they were doing before they found out the cause. Why do I bring this up? Sometimes, it feels like Lila is an unintentional parallel to the alien in that story.

Like so many characters, it's clear the show desperately wants the audience to view Lila in a certain way, but her actions do very little to actually back up that claim. When she's not using lies to tell stories about so many famous people she knows like her uncle who works for Nintendo, Lila is using strategies to manipulate everyone that are so obviously deceptive, the Thermians could pick up on them. Everyone and their mother knows how ridiculous a lot of what Lila does in episodes like “Chameleon” and “Ladybug” are, and I've talked about them before, so I'll try to be quick.

First off, as someone who had access to accommodations through high school and has had assistance in college so far, there is no way in hell that Ms. Bustier should take Lila's tinnitus at face value in “Chameleon”. If a student has a disability that could interfere with the education process, physical or developmental, not only does the school have to evaluate their performance, and determine if they're eligible for an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, but her teachers would have to be notified in the first place. As her primary educator, Ms. Bustier would be part of the team to oversee Lila's IEP and determine what accommodations she needs to help her learn better with her tinnitus and arthritis. But because the writers don't know what Google is, they just ignore it,  assume that Lila can just say she has a disability, and have everyone believe it. Even when Eric Cartman pretended to be disabled to compete in the Special Olympics, he put in more effort to look the part, even if he looked like a caricature.

Then there's the fact that that in “Chameleon”, everyone just believes Lila when she says Marinette stole her grandmother's necklace when not only is said necklace from the Agreste line of jewelry, but Alya, who is Rena Rouge, can't pick up on the fact that it's a fake. All she does to justify these lies is come up with a sob story about how nobody believes her, yet nobody ever tries to defend Marinette except Alya one time, and it was after she got expelled.

Or what about in “Oni-Chan”, where Lila thinks having Kagami kill Ladybug while claiming she'll back away from Adrien is a good idea? Let's say Oni-Chan does kill Ladybug or at least take away her Miraculous, what then? We know Lila wouldn't go through with this promise, and as soon as Kagami sees her harassing Adrien, she'll be ripe for akumatization again. Overall, not a great plan.

And yet somehow, this last example is what made her worthy enough to become one of Hawkmoth's most trusted agents. I'm just going to say it: Lila is not a good fit for the power of illusion. Whenever she's Volpina or Chameleon, she always goes out of her way to make a big show instead of being subtle with her deceptions. “Chameleon” is the worst offender, as even though Lila gets the power to shapeshift into someone else, instead of being discreet and cornering people into kissing them and gaining their appearance, she just runs around to get Ladybug's attention instead of being subtle. Even Felix had the bright idea to pretend to be Adrien to catch Ladybug off guard. How do you lose to something that happened in “Felix”?

Despite all of these screw-ups, we're still supposed to see her as this master of deception worthy of allying with Hawkmoth in both his supervillain and civilian form, when really, she's a terrible liar on the schoolyard and on the battlefield.

Why Lila is an Important Character

In the grand scheme of things, Lila just isn't as important of a character that the show loves to parade her around as. She's nothing more than a plot device used to raise the stakes in an episode, given how much reality seems to bend over just to accommodate for her lies. Even when the show alludes to her being part of bigger things, like her deal with Adrien, or her rivalry with Marinette, they don't even go anywhere.

She just feels pointless when you remember Astruc's brilliant idea to force Chloe into being the final Akuma for the season while Lila isn't even mentioned once. She only really makes appearances whenever the writers feel like it, which is why it’s hard to take her seriously. Why should I take this character seriously as a threat if the writers refuse to take her seriously as a threat? Why build Lila up as a big threat and not give her a major role in the finale? Why even include her in the show in the first place when you could show Chloe being more manipulative to fill in the plots Lila plays a big part in?

As of the time I am writing this analysis, four episodes of Season 4 have aired, three of them have been about lies or deception, and Lila hasn't been mentioned at all. It honestly seems like she won't appear unless the writers need a easy way to drive up the conflict, so they can justify it by saying that Lila's “superpower” of lying is more powerful than the common sense of everyone else.

I'm sorry this post was shorter than the last one, but compared to Master Fu, there's not that much to say about Lila that I haven't already said. Even the show barely gives her any attention, so it's hard for me to really find a lot to talk about.

[ohheyitsokay]

Alright my sweet! I'm here with a soulmate request.

So I gotta go with Jack, because who doesn't love being soulmates with a secret agent man? As for the trope... There are so many to choose from and I love them all BUT let's go with "the first words you say to your soulmate are somewhere on their skin". I'm a sucker for that one.

Have fun darling!! 🥰🥰

helloo dear heart! have a fanfic about you n your man, you absolute ray of sunshine 💕

hope you enjoy!

warnings:fluff fluff fluff. enough fluff for a really nice waiting room chair.

<<

soulmate requests / follower celebration

>>

It was a weird day, but your dearest friend had insisted.

This will be a fun use of your day off, she promised. And...

If there was anywhere you were going to find your soulmate, it was here. Deep in the bowels of the distillery, there were secrets in each room, behind each lock, and sewn into every suit cuff as far as the eye could see.

Statesman Headquarters.

Sugar, that's supposed to be classified.

The words on your arm near tingled with each step you took, because you were being told with no uncertain terms, that everything you were seeing, hearing, and feeling was absolutely classified. Ginger rolled her eyes as her coworker chattered about privacy and the history of Statesman, smiling good-naturedly.

"I dont think I should be here," you murmured, tilting your head at your friend.

Her hands were stuffed in her lab coat pockets, and she shook her head. When the papers got signed and the tin on your hands was given a final suspicious look, she ushered off with you.

"Listen," she said, her strides long as she took you back through the labyrinth to her lab. "I'm allowed to bring my friend to my coworkers, so they can thank her properly for the best damn cookies they've ever eaten, just like anyone else."

You laughed, feeling lighter. The cookies had started out as an innocent gift for her to take to a holiday party, and according to her, became high demand. As often as time and ingredients allowed, she would beg you for enough to feed a small army, swearing up and down that they were like magic for her mysterious team.

She could be stubborn when she wanted to.

"You just want to show off your work to someone new."

And she winked. "Damn right I do."

After long moments entering passwords, she lead you through a heavy door, adding, "And it wouldnt hurt these guys to know that you're single."

You sputtered, wanting to protest that you were fine waiting for your soulmate, before deciding not to make a fool of yourself. Almost dropping your overfull tin was enough.

There was a handsome man sitting at what you could only assume was her main desk. And by ' a handsome man', you of course meant the most confidant, dreamy, gorgeous all-American gentleman you'd ever seen. When you snuck a glance at your friend, wondering if she was as rosey-eyed as you were, you were shocked to see a blend of annoyance and confusion instead. Any traces of teasing were gone, serious business overriding all of in a single second.

He stood, almost tripping as he looked at you, a little wide-eyed for his reputation. His mustache moved, and time slowed as you held eye contact before-

"No," Ginger's finger blocked your view. "Save the flirting, Whiskey." It was her best no-business tone, and both of you snapped back into reality. "What's going on? Why are you here?"

The man - Agent Whiskey - looked sheepish, hooking one hand in his belt and using the other to scratch the back of his neck.

"Stay here for just a moment?" Your friend looked apologetic and you nodded, nearly collapsing as they stepped away. Moments before, youd been given a brief tour of the government's most elaborate secret, but now, your knees felt weak.

What a weird day.

-

It got weirder.

You hovered nervously as lights blared and displays ran data faster than you could read and agents ran in and out.

Neck craning, searching for Ginger, you watched as she was pulled left and right, setting up a command center right in the conference room next door.

"I'm so sorry," she managed at one point, grabbing a cookie from your box, "You wont be able to leave until this mess gets cleaned up." And you nodded as she was whisked away again.

There was no one you knew in sight except... that Agent Whiskey. Jack someone called him. Hands on his hips he took control, steady and stern, neatly reigning in the chaos.

You told yourself you were watching him for guidance, comfort maybe. Not because he was handsome as a sunrise. Certainly not because his gaze kept meeting yours, no matter the crowds, and each time the clocks seemed to stall. Not because your whole body ached to be close to him and ... and you almost thought he looked like he wanted to be close to you, too.

When he caught you watching him, he'd smile, almost proud, fingers twitching at his side. He kept stepping your way, too, before a call of his name made him turn on his boot-heels, cursing under his breath.

You felt small.

A man they called Tequila kept tapping his hands on the table. You heard protests that the agents in the field needed backuo or at least guidance and headsets were tossed. He and Whiskey shared near-crazed grins and worried glances as the muttered urgently into their communication systems.

The tin of cookies near sang at your side, and you slipped forward, just placing it open between them.

You wanted to help.

And at their big bites and briefly closed eyes, and sagging shoulders, it was your turn to feel proud.

Then you retreated again, savoring a certain cowboy's nod of thanks, accompanied by a wink that warmed you to your toes.

Eventually, things seemed to calm.

There was no cheers, but deep sighs and clumps of people dispersing with claps of hands on backs and shoulders.

Headsets were hung to charge, and you walked back towards Gingers desk, hoping for your friend to reappear.

Instead, when you arrived, Jack was already standing in front of it, holding a box cleaned even of crumbs.

"I can give you the recipe," you offered, feeling suddenly shy. What they did here... it was so intense. All the little texts of thanks Ginger had sent you finally made sense - your cookies were extraordinarily normal, beautiful in their simplicity. Absolutely lifesavers in their chaotic world.

The man in fron of you shook his head, perfect brown hair ruffled slightly, the ends peaking out from beneath his head. Feeling like you already committed to the offer, you tried to reach around him for a wayward stack of sticky notes and a pen.

"It's just flour and butter and brown sugar and -"

"Sugar, that's supposed to be classified."

Oh.

Oh.

He smiled more confidently, the realization in your eyes apparently spurring him on.

"Next time, whaddya say you just show me how it's done?"

Dark eyes, crinkling with genuity and twinkling with mischief.

"Can I? I mean - would you - I mean," He stepped forward, right in front of you, and you squeaked. "Sure."

He was so close and... and you felt like you were missing something.

"...Now?"

Not taking his eyes from yours, his hand found your hand, gently guiding it to his arm, where he had at some point pushed up a single sleeve.

I can give you the recipe.

Your eyes found his again, the confirmation almost moot. He had been pulling you in since the moment you laid eyes on him, he was just... right, he was... you would have to leave a note for Ginger.

It felt like you were the only two in the world that mattered right now. Jack could feel it too - you could see it, even as he smirked.

"Sounds like a mighty fine idea to me."

Now.

<<

taglist: @fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz @saradika @zinzinina

Whiskey taglist: @0celestialbitch0

[ckret2]

Alright let’s talk GVK spoilers!!!

My reactions as best I can remember them!

- love how Kong is humanized from the very first scene, like every time he shows up he’s humanized so much more than other titans are. If that was at the expense of other titans being made likable I wouldn’t enjoy it so much, but like, Godzilla is made pretty lovable over the course of Monsterverse, Mothra is too, and all the titans featured for long are given recognizable emotions that let us see them as more intelligent and feeling than “just” animals; so all of them are made understandable/likable/sympathetic. But of them all, Kong is the only one really humanized. Which makes sense, because like, big monkey! Basically our distant cousin!

- And they kept playing, like, normal songs for him, which cracked me up.

- I really appreciated how you could SEE the titans in this movie. After all the weather effects to hide the titans in KOTM, there was such a clear difference in this one from the very start. Kong in the daylight! Godzilla makes his first attack at night, and even then you can see him much more clearly than you can for most of KOTM! Nice!

- after the Iwi were portrayed as silent stoic witnesses in Skull Island, I really appreciated that they took an Iwi character, made her a main character, and gave her dialogue and a real role to play in the story while also keeping her deaf/mute. I think that was a good way to improve on the way that the Iwi got got sidelined in the last movie while still maintaining the worldbuilding!

- I didn’t appreciate so much that, y’know, they murdered the rest of her people off-screen in order to do it. Couldn’t they have gone “her parents died so she got adopted by a Monarch agent that was close to her family, but like, the rest of her tribe is fine”? Or at the very least “their island got fucked up so they had to be evacuated but like they’re settling in somewhere else”? “They’re living under this island dome with Kong and they know what’s up and Monarch’s keeping them in the loop and they decided they’re chill with their new dome home, but this one girl likes to go on adventures with Monarch”? Something? Did we have to kill them all off? Y’all make up an entire fictional indigenous culture and then murder them off-screen when you don’t need them? Just let them live.

- a few minutes in I was like “hold on, we’ve got two characters that speak sign language, we’ve got a giant gorilla, gorillas learn sign language, is there any reason they can’t teach Kong?” and then later I was like “OOOOOH!!” Humans and titans learning how to communicate with each other has been one of my favorite themes to explore in Monsterverse fanfic so I was absolutely tickled to see it getting explored in canon, too.

- That said I think it’s hilarious that the girl managed to teach Kong to sign without, like... anybody seeing. Kong’s hands are above the tree line and there are cameras everywhere, how did NOBODY with Monarch see him signing.

- Bernie’s weaponized being an annoying coworker to such a degree it can only be called an art, and I really appreciated it.

- Godzilla’s extra chonky in this movie and I dig it. Roomie noted he was extra crocodilian and I dig that too.

- “There’s been no confirmed titan sightings in three years” I don’t buy that for a minute. They’re BIG. Rodan NESTS IN VOLCANOES. They found a MOTHRA EGG. Humans have A SCARILY WELL-FUNDED ORGANIZATION DEDICATED SOLELY TO FOLLOWING TITANS AROUND. Like, most of the lore in GVK that I don’t personally like, I can be like “eh... I can tweak it just a little bit with headcanons to make it work for me...” but NO confirmed titan sightings? You expect me to believe ALL of them moved underground when we’d previously seen them all prefer to live above ground? You expect me to believe that now that they’re all AWAKE, they learned how to HIDE?? Uh-uh. And at the end of KOTM there was stuff in the credits about using titan droppings as biofuel, obviously they’re still walking around up top! Can’t take that from me. Nope.

- Who the FUCK is Ren Serizawa and how is he related to Ishiro Serizawa? IS he related? Maybe they just dropped the surname as another “yeah this is a Godzilla movie for Godzilla fans” easter egg but I have a hard time believing that he can’t be somehow related to the other character with the Very Important Last Name who was so important in the last two Godzilla movies. If he is related I’m sure it’s been explained in a tie-in comic or the novelization or something, I’ll look it up later.

- I had to look up how much weight huge battleships can carry while writing a KOTM fic where Ghidorah hitches a ride on one, and y’all, I had to pull weird gravity-negating magic to get him to ride on that boat. Godzilla and Kong woulda sunk that boat like a rock. All I could think during that scene is “this wouldn’t work and I know that because I DID THE RESEARCH and I wasn’t even getting PAID.” I’ll choose to believe that Monarch gets special heavy duty ships designed to carry titans but nobody mentioned it because it wasn’t relevant to Kong’s journey.

- The bit where they could see where Godzilla was swimming because he’d got half a ship hooked to him that was bobbing around on the surface, didn’t Jaws do something like that with a buoy? It’s been ages since I’ve seen Jaws. Anyway good reference.

- Insert “they’re gonna need a bigger boat” joke

- I LOVED the part where they shut down all the ships to get Godzilla to leave. Both because, one, it’s a spectacular callback to KOTM’s “turn off all the guns so he knows we’re not a threat” that makes it seem like now that’s just what Monarch knows what to do to get G to chill out, and two... we know that Godzilla backs off either when he’s killed his enemy or when his enemy has yielded to him. At the end of KOTM—and the end of GVK—the act of yielding is presented as very ceremonial and uniform across species: everyone lowers anything they’ve got that could be dangerous (claws, fangs, beaks, axes) and bows to show Godzilla they’re not gonna fight. Battleships, obviously, can’t bow, but even without being inducted into whatever secret titan cultural intricacies might be going on, humans have figured out their own way to “bow” to Godzilla: cut all the power, so their ships can’t move and can’t use weapons. I know the movie presented it as “playing dead,” but c’mon, if Godzilla could hear MechaG power up from halfway around the planet then he could hear that Kong’s heart was still beating, and he’s been around enough boats to know humans can turn them off and on when they want. The humans bowed to Godzilla. He accepted that they yielded and left.

- Mark Russell looked like such a dad in this movie, like he’s retired 100% from being a rugged action hero and now he’s just Pure Dad. I like him better when he’s a dad, it’s a good development for him. He got like 3 lines and I’m like “I appreciate this character development.”

- Despite all my qualms about how conspiracy theories and extremist groups are handled in Monsterverse (and WHICH conspiracy theories they decide to reference), I really love Madison and Bernie’s dynamic. The adult man who’s the excitable wide-eyed believer in every BS conspiracy you can possibly imagine; and then the serious, severe Teenage Girl On A Mission who’s hypercompetent because she was raised for five years by a friggin doomsday cult militia; and despite having wildly different personalities they’re just, in total agreement about everything. Handled just a BIT differently (like, leaving out the more gross IRL conspiracies) they would be a wildly fun comedic duo—especially with Josh the Only Sane Man coming along as the hapless sidekick. And they all play off of each other so well! Both in a comedic sense, and in more serious moments—when Bernie talked about his wife, there was a real moment of empathy between him and Madison with very little said. I’d watch an entire movie just about the three of them. I’d watch a TV show.

- On the one hand I wasn’t too much of a fan of KOTM’s “all titans... are inherently In Tune With Nature... nature has a Balance, because that’s a Real Thing and not an anthropocentric concept to describe how we like nature to act, and they automatically restore it... because they’re like, some kinda borderline divinities or something... we should probably be worshipping them...” thing; but, now that it was totally absent in GVK, I sorta miss it. Like I feel like there needs to be a balance, a few humans who are like “i lowkey worship these dudes?” and a few others who are like “they’re cool but like, that’s a lil extreme” and that neither side be presented as Right in how they regard titans’ relationship with nature.

- “All titans come from THE HOLLOW EARTH” nah I don’t buy that it’s silly. Basically, what I object to is the idea that all titans have some sort of intrinsic similarity (they all come from the same hitherto-unknown location; they all are part of the same pack that has the same alpha; they all are fueled/fed by the same energy source; etc) rather than letting them be SEPARATE species whose only unifying traits are “they’re all big enough to fuck everything up everywhere they go” and “they’re big enough that the typically-insurmountable barriers between different biomes (mountain ranges, valleys, long distances with terrible weather) aren’t insurmountable for them, so even if they’re specialized in different environments they still all have to deal with each other pretty often.” I’ll make some exceptions for convergent evolution (i.e., claiming multiple titans developed similar traits that are relatively easy to spontaneously evolve and a prerequisite for a creature to survive at such a large size). But I can’t buy “this big gorilla has more biologically in common with this big crocodile-iguana than he does with, say, gorillas,” or most of the other “all these titans have THIS IN COMMON” claims that Monsterverse makes, including “everyone’s from hollow earth.” So I’m tossing that out the window and substituting my own headcanons. Some might’ve evolved there but some evolved on the surface. Maybe a majority of them like ducking in and out of the hollow earth like some kind of titan shortcut system. Kong’s species, I can buy, IS native to hollow earth, considering that they built a whole-ass society down there with tools and architecture.

- I’m SO curious about the little underground Kong home, the Godzilla motif in the floor, and the axe that appeared to be made with a Godzilla scute. What’s the story there??? We know Godzilla’s species and Kong’s species are ancient rivals. Is it because Kong’s species hunted Godzilla’s to steal their scutes to make weapons, seeing them as a valuable resource the way, like, early humans considered woolly mammoths a valuable resource—thus making that Godzilla on the floor equivalent to cave art of mammoths made by people who hunted them—until the Godzillas got pissed and started fighting back en masse? Or were Godzillas and Kongs already enemies when Kongs decided to start making weapons out of their corpses? Did they use to be allies, fighting together, with Godzillas voluntarily offering shed scutes and/or bones of their deceased members to Kongs, and that place used to be a shared home until they started fighting?

- What about that power source, is it something that was already there that both Kongs and Godzillas started to deliberately harvest for technology/atomic breath? Or did Godzillas automatically channel that stuff and Kongs exploited/borrowed/traded with Godzillas to utilize it too? Or is the power from Godzillas who collaboratively poured a bunch of power into the place thus that Kongs were able to use it too? I doubt Godzilla’s species CREATED all that weird energy but the question remains of whether, like, they channel it FROM underground, or naturally produce the same thing in their own bodies, or what.

- Godzilla using his atomic breath to dig a hole STRAIGHT TO KONG just to KICK HIS ASS is hilarious. How lucky that Hong Kong just HAPPENS to be straight over Kong’s house! Were all the tunnels to the hollow earth made by pissed off Godzillas who wanted to kick monkey ass??

- I loved the aesthetic of the battle scene in Hong Kong, with the brightly colored neon building outlines, VERY cool look. The choreography of the battle scene was great too, especially

- we literally broke into applause when Kong shoved the axe handle in Godzilla’s mouth. Love it, perfect callback, that was the ONE thing from the original King Kong Vs Godzilla I was hoping to see referenced and there it was.

- You could really see a difference in how Kong and Godzilla fought—Kong doing a better job at using tools and the environment, Godzilla fighting more like a reptile. They seemed to emphasize Godzilla’s more animalistic behaviors in this movie to accomplish that contrast—he was down on all fours and moving like a crocodile more often, he was clawing at Kong’s chest—but even though it seemed a bit different of a combat technique it also didn’t seem out of place compared to how he fought in prior movies. And we’ve already seen that if Godzilla’s involved in a fight and one of the combatants knows how to use the environment, it’s typically not gonna be Godzilla. (See: Ghidorah using the reflection in a building’s windows to see what’s behind him, and recognizing a nearby power source and biting it to juice himself up.)

- So many of Godzilla’s enemies seem to have specialized in negating his atomic breath in order to combat him! The MUTOs directly suppress his ability to use it—and it makes sense that that’s an inborn ability they have, since they evolved to use Godzilla’s species as prey. Kong has a weapon that both acts as a shield to absorb the breath and turn it back against Godzilla’s species—they didn’t evolve to counter Godzilla, but they developed tools once a rivalry happened. Ghidorah’s the exception—which makes sense, since he came from space—but even at that we see him using tactics specifically to take into account Godzilla’s most powerful weapon (such as keeping one head on lookout for when he starts glowing so that they know when they need to dodge).

- LOVED the reveal that MechaG was based off of Ghidorah’s brain, it has vibes of both the Kiryu Saga and the way that Heisei MechaG is based off of Mecha-King Ghidorah. Not the most surprising plot twist, since we’d theorized that they might use San to make MechaG, but I wasn’t 100% sure they were gonna go with it until they finally did. Even when I was going “huh, the mecha pilot’s chamber looks weirdly organic” I didn’t make the connection to WHY until the reveal, lol.

- “Ghidorah’s necks are so long that the heads have to communicate with each other telepathically” that’s COMPLETELY WILD but I love it, it follows very well from their prior portrayal as telepathic empaths in Heisei, it lines up with their emphasis on electricity (because BRAINWAVES AND ELECTRICITY, hey ho movie monster pseudo science!), and it very much compliments my own private headcanon that they’ve got some psychic/mind control abilities.

- The movie ended with both “Godzilla won, technically” but also “since they teamed up as equals, the ending doesn’t FEEL like ‘Godzilla wins, Kong loses’ but rather ‘they both won against a common foe’” and since I’m on both Team Godzilla and Team They Should Be Friends, I’m happy with this outcome. Plus since the last time they fought, the Japanese movie company graciously let the American monster win, so it’s only polite that the American movie company graciously let the Japanese monster win.

- There were just a few too many humans in this movie. I was intrigued by Ren but we didn’t get much out of him, but like I guess somebody had to be in the pilot’s seat other than the Apex CEO. Didn’t care for the author of the hollow earth book, I feel like his role was superfluous. Didn’t need the Apex CEO’s daughter there at all, coulda done without her. How about this, combine all three roles. Instead of having a whole-ass author who knows about the hollow earth, just casually reference that Rick from KOTM wrote a book about it since he was the expert, and (since he wasn’t in this movie) say that he tragically died going to explore the hollow earth himself, and that way we’ve got the book with the “titans are from there” theory AND an excuse to share the “humans die when they go underground” info. Now, have Ren be working for Apex as a pilot for Mechagodzilla, but have him be MechaG’s pilot because he’s also a good pilot in general, and can fly those HEAV things. Have Apex send him to Monarch to be like “hey, you guys trust me right, since I’m Ishiro Serizawa’s relative? We at Apex have heard all about your failed hollow earth expedition, and due to Ishiro I’ve got some past ties to Monarch so I’ve got high clearance with y’all, so I could bring over this useful Apex tech that’d let you go underground and use what I know about hollow earth from my past time at Monarch to help guide things.” Once they’ve got the little chunk of energy stuff and go topside, he hustles it straight to Apex and straps into his seat to run MechaG. Bam, you’ve combined “person who knows enough about hollow earth to help the expedition,” “person who represents Apex’s interests and gets the energy,” and “person who pilots MechaG” into one character, in a way that takes three flat/underdeveloped characters and turns them into a single interesting character with a lot going on and some intriguing ties to the rest of the cast.

I think that’s everything?? Hoo.