#weekly writing wondering
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For the @writing-wednesday event
If you had to pick just one, what would be your favourite word, and why?
I'm torn between "venomous" and "thorn"!
They're both such heavy, dark and powerful words in my opinion.
Like "venomous" >>> "poisonous"
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT PROPERLY, I JUST WOKE UP HAHA! BUT BASICALLY THOSE TWO ARE MY FAVOURITE WORDS!
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The previous week, on @writing-wednesday (because it is never too late to play :) )...
You can transport yourself into one of your stories right this instant. Which story would it be and why? Which character’s place would you like to take?
Not a story, but a headcanon. None other than Slavic Grandma at the Mansion. What could possibly better than watching an older woman with ungodly stamina reserves (lovingly) wreck havoc in a household of (revived; vampiric) historical figures?
I wouldn't want to be any of the residents, though. Oh no, that could end up being dreadful. And certainly, I don't yet have all that it takes to be a fearless grandma... So I'd like to be Lumiere.
The cat :) I'd like to be the cat. I'd be in a purrfect position to watch the chaos unravel, while also receiving all the affection and food. And I'd be adorable!
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First time answering a @writing-wednesday question:
Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
It's a longer excerpt, hence the cut, but due to the way I write it's hard to share a short dialogue excerpt. This fic, especially, is very prose-heavy; written in the first-person present tense, a lot of sensory description is used. As a result, dialogue scenes tend to be a lot longer than usual.
I chose this scene because it was the first scene in which I wrote extended dialogue for Wednesday herself. I find that one of the biggest challenges I face when writing fanfiction is getting characters' speech styles right, especially when it comes to characters who have especially distinctive ways of talking.
Wednesday is well-spoken but blunt, and it can be easy to overexaggerate these features. I'm happy with how everything sounds when it comes to the dialogue in this scene; I can imagine the characters actually saying the words, without it sounding like a fanfic, if that makes sense.
With all that said, I'm looking forward to answering more questions in the future! I might have to go through the backlog, actually...
Excerpt follows:
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I awaken with a start, jolting upright with such speed that it feels like I give myself whiplash. My head pounds and my sides ache, but more than anything I’m left with the uncomfortable feeling that I’m forgetting something. I grumble and groan and raise my hand to rub my sore neck, but find myself pausing. My claws are at least half extended and threads of colourful fabric hang from my fingers. I bury my face in my hands; I don’t want to see the damage I’ve done to the bed.
“You whimper in your sleep,” a voice from across the room says, “like a kicked puppy.”
The voice makes me jump and my body tenses up. I slowly turn to my left, my hands sheepishly falling from my face and revealing my shame. My eyes open tentatively and settle on those of Wednesday Addams, standing next to her desk with arms crossed in front of her. Her cold gaze forces me to break eye contact after but a moment, my groggy mind lacking the conviction to challenge her. I realise I have yet to respond. “Wednesday… Hi.”
I avoid looking her directly in the eyes, but her gaze is unflinching. She says nothing, verbally or otherwise. I pick threads of cotton and fleece from my claws, assessing the damage to the lightly shredded blankets around me. My shoulders drop, signalling my embarrassment.
“Oh please, I’ve seen worse,” Wednesday says, breaking her silence but not her stare. “Your claws must be rather dull compared to Enid’s.”
I read no humour in her voice, but the comment brings a smirk to my face. “Got lucky with at least something, I guess.”
She cocks an eyebrow at that - she doesn’t seem to agree. “Lucky? Your natural weapons are fundamentally flawed and you consider yourself lucky?”
“Yeah, well anything that makes it that little bit harder for me to kill someone…” I trail off; that was perhaps a bit much. If Wednesday notices my oversharing, she doesn’t make it known. “Sorry, what time is it?” I ask, swinging my legs over the side of the bed to sit up properly.
“It’s a little past three. You slept for some fifteen hours by my count, but I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” The slightest hint of a smirk emerges on her face. “You appeared to be having such awful dreams. I would’ve hated to interrupt.”
“Oh, you could tell?” I ask jokingly as I tend to my still-aching neck. I’ve been told enough times by my roommate that I’m quite the emotive sleeper. “So, where’s Enid?”
“At one of her many clubs, I’m sure.” A disdainful look flashes on her face. “Forgive me if I don’t know which.”
I crane forwards and with some light pressure on my neck I hear a crack, followed by some of the tension being relieved. When I look up again I notice that something about Wednesday’s stare has changed. Her eyes are a little narrower, her lips are slightly pursed and she’s standing more rigidly than before, if that’s even possible. She has something she wants to say but is holding back. My perceptive prowess can’t compare to hers, however, and in the time it takes me to read her body language she notices the change in my own. Her face relaxes.
“This question may seem… invasive,” she says, taking a small step towards me, “but know that it comes from a place of genuine interest.”
It’s my turn to cock an eyebrow. “Shoot.”
“Your nightmares. What are they about?” She pauses, her eyes not quite focused on me, as if she’s visualising something. “Enid’s been getting nightmares ever since she wolfed out; is it just a werewolf thing? Are all of you destined to be such tortured souls?”
I consider the question for a moment. “I’m no expert, but we do tend to be pretty vivid dreamers. Add a serving of trauma to that and I guess it’s no wonder you’d end up with nightmares.”
“The trauma of wolfing out for the first time, for example?”
“For some, sure. It can be hard for some wolves, especially if they end up hurting someone. The guilt, the loss of control…” Am I getting too personal? “It’s a bit of a rude awakening, learning what it truly means to be a wolf.”
“Speaking from experience?” she asks, her head tilting a little to the side.
“Nah, I was a bit of an early bloomer. I barely remember my first time,” I admit, a half-truth at best and a lie by omission at worst. My first time was easy. My parents were well prepared; they made sure I was safe and couldn’t get anyone hurt. The revelation of what wolfhood entails though? That came later. I was sheltered for so many years. Hell, I didn’t even really know what I was until I met wolves from other packs and realised just how different I was. The end of my childhood wasn’t marked by something as simple as wolfing out for the first time. No, the day I learned exactly how much violence I was capable of, what sort of cruelty I could enact on others… that was my wakeup call.
“You didn’t answer my first question,” Wednesday says, forcing me out of my reminiscence. “Your nightmares. If they don’t stem from your wolfing out, where do they come from?”
I guess it’s time to make my boundaries known. I notice myself shuffling uncomfortably as I speak. “Sorry, that’s a bit personal, even for me.”
She doesn’t try to hide her disappointment. “A pity,” she says, turning away. She sits down and moves her typewriter to the middle of her desk, apparently finished with the conversation. I do feel a little bad. I’m under no obligation to share my insecurities, but at the same time I do feel as if I owe her something . Considering her reputation, she’s been surprisingly welcoming to my intruding on her personal space. What harm could it do to let down my walls a little?
“They’re about my parents,” I relent. She doesn’t turn around but her hands stop moving; that got her attention. “They were good people. Or, my mom was, at least. They… they didn’t deserve what happened to them.”
She spins around in her chair. “What did happen to them?”
“They’re gone.”
“I gathered. There’s more to the story than that though, surely?”
I chuckle. “Well, yes, of course. But the details aren’t exactly pleasant.”
Her arms cross once again. “I didn’t ask for ‘pleasant’.”
“My benefit, not yours. I relive it enough in my sleep; if I started spending my time awake thinking about it I’d never get anything done.” In truth, it’s less the memories themselves that bother me so, but rather the implications. If I shared the whole story with her… it wouldn’t take her long to figure it out. Being unable to share too much lest other people piece together the truth… It’s tiring, and serves only to isolate me from my peers. An unfortunate measure, but a necessary one. “Why so interested in my nightmares, anyway?”
Wednesday glares for a few seconds, but then her demeanour softens. As I suspected, she can appreciate a transactional interaction. I offered her some information, with the potential prospect of more, and so it’s in her best interest to respond in kind. She speaks slowly now, clearly choosing her words carefully and betraying her vulnerability.
“Like I said, Enid’s been having nightmares most nights since wolfing out. It’s starting to impact her day-to-day life. Nightmares have never really been an issue for me, so I thought that perhaps consulting another werewolf might give me some insight on how I might help her.”
I was expecting a far more morbid reason for her curiosity. “That’s actually kind of sweet.”
“Yes, well…” She stiffens again. “Breathe a word of that sentiment to anyone and you’ll have bigger problems than mere nightmares.”
“My lips are sealed.”
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
#bnha 429#bnha spoilers#bnha critical#bnha#idk i just feel bad for the guy#i think he's sexist as shit#but no one deserves to work under such bad conditions#and frankly idk how any weekly story turns out any good#especially when its gone on for so many years#like when you think about it the chapters aren't even real full chapters#they're like half or even a quarter of a chapter that you'd find in a book or monthly manga#of course you're your going to have an incoherent story when you write like that#I mean the only other thing written like that are some fanfictions#and those authors can and often do go back and edit things#heck I've seen some that go on hiatus with the specific purpose of overhauling the entire backlog of chapters to make it a better overall#and I think part of why BNHA is perhaps worse then other weekly shonen is because he had a lot he wanted to say#on top of trying to find things that kept him invested in a story he clearly was tired of writing#I mean Lady Nagnat is great example#he watched a movie and thought the female assassin character was cool and it got him excited to draw/write#so he shoehorned in this character that was really only there because she made the story more fun for him to write and draw for a while#like American comics aren't great either when it comes to consistency or coherent plots sometimes#but I do wonder if BNHA might have been better if Hori could have left a story bible and basic outlines of what his plans were#and then someone else could have worked on it instead#because he really didn't seem very into by the end of the first war arc#like I think he wished that had been the end#but it wasn't and he was really tired and burned out#and probably already working on fumes
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We're going back to our regularly scheduled program of me not talking about personal topics, hyperfixating over random movies and shows I watch, writing, and random funny topics. Ya'know, what my entire page is built on as its foundation.
#snoweytrashposts#snoweytalks#snoweyrambles#snoweyrants#random ramblings#my random bullshit#read this in the psa voice because that's what i'm thinking while i write this#just so i'm giggling and not crying so that i can /maybe/ go back to trying my fucking hardest to write myself out of this writer's block#how wonderful it is to be harassed the day before weekly finals#i counted them it was 37 harassment asks in my inbox#we're back down to the original 10 that were there unanswered
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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For the @writing-wednesday event
What’s your personal writing pet peeve?
I can't add a comma after/before the word "and". I said what I said. If I'm not mistaken it's called an Oxford comma AND I REFUSE TO USE IIIT
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This week, on @writing-wednesday!
What do you think your weakest point is when it comes to writing fanfiction?
I think I have three, two relating strictly to writing and one to the perception of it.
Pacing
Coming up with meaningful string of events has become easier recently, however, I know that my pacing could be better.
One way to put it is that I see writing as a bit of a puzzle. The process of figuring out the solution is what has me excited -- the more I need to break my head, the more fun it is. Of course, this goes beyond the online spheres and roams free in the real life. A good answer is one that incorporates as many of pre-existing resources as possible, is efficient, is not needlessly complicated, and preferably, doesn't involve much wait.
Apply the same principles to conjuring up a story, and you may find it that the current of events just runs too fast. (Although, recently I've been expanding my understanding of what is and isn't relevant to the plot, so I hope to be able to tweak my approach just a tiny little bit for it to work well in the end...)
Vocabulary
English is my second language, and ah, I'm periodically grumpy about having a somewhat limited active vocabulary.
Oh well. No fast fix for that. I shall take my time. (All the while one of my blorbos is positively hyperliterate).
Self-assessment
It is something of a semi-regular occurrence that I can't exactly judge the effectiveness of my writing in terms of conveying emotion or setting a mood. Especially when I try to write anything remotely thrilling or chilling. :")
Hmm... I considered adding "descriptions" to the list, but I've been working on improving in that department for over a year now, and I do feel fairly confident with them now.
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i've never managed to write & update any multi-chapter fics on ao3 that weren't fully written before posting before this year and i've at least identified the consistent pattern i go through every month.
stage 1: "i know exactly what this chapter is going to be and i'm so excited to write it! it'll be done in a week!" *proceeds to write 60% of it in 2 days*
stage 2: *re-reads what i've written and compares it to past chapters* "this is shit. this isn't fulfilling my vision. i must look away" *ignores it for two weeks*
stage 3: *goes back to the wip draft, re-reads it* "actually this isn't bad! i'm really enjoying this! what do you mean i left off here mid-sentence????" *proceeds to think about writing without writing for a week*
stage 4: *grits teeth* "i must.... finish this.... i have plans.... i enjoy writing.... i'll make this... sound good... i can finish things i swear...." *spends an hour writing a single paragraph. somehow keeps up the energy for a week*
stage 5: *two days in the editing pit*
stage 6: *posts on ao3* "well that was difficult to get through but i have such a clear plan for the next chapter so i'm sure i'll write it so quickly and it'll be super fun and i won't have writer's block at all!! :)"
rinse and repeat
#hey at least i know the cycle now#to anyone who's able to do weekly or god forbid daily updates. you have my utmost respect#being able to do (short) daily updates for 4 months took 3 years of work#also for anyone wondering i'm currently in stage four right now so hopefully there will be an update in a week or so#writing woes#my posts
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Actually answering on Wednesday, this time!
What is something that someone has said about one of your fics [or, your writing] that surprised you? (e.g. something you didn’t realize about your work until someone else said it).
This is an interesting question... I think the one that sticks out the most in memory is a certain review I got on FF a few months ago:
"too much drama and the mc acting like a little girl throws me off so much. this clearly is written by a girl who dont know how men thinksp"
Blatant misogyny aside, I just find it really funny how far off the mark their profiling was. In a strange way, I guess it's almost a complement to hear that my writing betrays so little about my identity.
Anyway, I wish I had something a little more positive or meaningful to share, but you can't win 'em all!
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Back in middle school, my closest friends knew because we used to write fanfics together. But most of them moved away and we can't meet up as often anymore.
Now the only person who knows is the librarian who convinced me to get back into creative writing after I finished school, and I attribute her to the start of my writing hobby (fanfic and original). People know I write, but she's the only one I showed fanfiction pieces to.
Writing Wednesday Week #48
Does anybody in real life know you write fanfic? Why, why not?
Event Details
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being autistic is so funnnn sometimes bc my coworkers try to like. joke around w me. and i always take it way too fuckin seriously (if i even respond at all...) i'm so used to bein' criticized at work so obvvvv i react seriously whenever someone is just messin' w me lmao
#chirping#don't have therapy so y'all have to hear my weekly revelation#anyway. autistic keith has my heart. i wonder why#what i do enjoy tho is like. he's kinda written as autistic in the show so ppl usually write him as autistic even if it's not intentional y#vol... tron? like yk?#personal
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wonder if there's higher rates of dissociative problems among ppl raised in the kind of religious environments that involve regular several-hour-long worship ceremonies and frequent repetitive prayer for long amounts of time.
#for me specifically im wondering how much of an impact the like... weekly three hour long latin high mass ceremonies i had to attend#as a little kid + couldn't talk / read anything / draw or write or use a pen / play / etc during had on the way#my brain is fucked. & like. the other extremely long services & shit.#txt
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i got shirley jackson’s dark tales for christmas and ough short horror stories my beloved
#honestly just one of my favorite forms of horror- if not favorite form of media- of all time#jackson didnt do it but im so glad ''monkeys paw'' is a common saying/meme bc ive read the original story and i LOVE it#its so fucked up#im literally only one story in dark tales (''the possibility of evil'') and it was so good. idk if id call it horror but goddamn#like i know ppl like miss strangeworth irl and yeah thats what theyre like oh my god shes so hatable and i love it#i love how its subtle but u can tell shes a bitch because of how she talks to people even before the reveal#like how she notices that mr lewis looks anxious and miserable and still makes a snarky comment about him forgetting#to remind her of her weekly tea. when hes literally a grocery store worker. (one she knows personally but like still)#and then on TOP of that its revealed that SHES the reason he and everyone else is miserable??? and she knows this???#and shes like ''oh its a wonderful thing that i write letters insulting people and spreading rumors bc its my job#to make sure evil doesnt prevail!'' but in trying to prevent conflict she just causes it#and she literally KNOWS its fucked up bc she never credits the letters and tries to deliver them when no one can see#and talks abt how disgusting and awful itd be if ppl learned it was her#and its her own pride that fucks her over bc she looks at kids w disdain and ignores them while still acting ''nice''#that she doesnt notice when one of them calls after her and says she dropped her things#and the final line is just so GOOD#mmgmgmgmgmmggm i love short stories short stories my beloved#they do something good to my brain i like it#echoed voice
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i have mentioned it but I only just put it into the nano website . I have reached 50k words!!! and succeeded at nano!!!! >:") very proud of myself, pls look at and clap for my massive word count for my magnum story
#even tho the story is not DONE like its still gonna be daily publishing until it IS but. u know! fun lil confetti rained down when i#entered my new word count#ive only been updating it weekly so i didnt get the daily badge -_- sad#nanowrimo#nanowrimo2022#id say this is a good first year at it. but my god has it been rough#like. flu the first week. then strep and mystery 2 day vomiting?? then my period rolled up with a glock LMAO next week#is also gonna be rough bc i have stuff to do irl...so ill have to be writin on my phone ig! we can do it#I WILL finish this story before the year ends if nothing else. dragging myself by the ankles to do it#sanchoyorambles#ekleipsis#thats only the word count of the public parts of the story too i have. written MORE than that technically. but its me trying to write#in advance yk#and a lot got deleted or rewritten bc i didnt Like it ........#lol....#i wonder what the overall REAL word count would be if u considered those...#we will Never Know...#i think i deserve to brag bc this is COOL of me
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For the @writing-wednesday event
Pick a fic of yours and summarise it in the most ridiculous manner possible.
I'm gonna pick my "A line that should've never been crossed" fic😌✨
Ahem!
Ziggy's got a crush and instead of sitting in his room and write in his little diary about it, while laying on his stomach and swinging his legs back and forth, he shows up at a masquerade ball as a mysterious sexy man. And he's also a vampire, because of course I'd write about vampires.
—Brought to you by my 5:00 am fantasies, while listening to my gothic classical Spotify playlist. This fall on cinemas.
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