#wednesday crack

[sogayitwrites]

[fanfictionconsumer]

Here have a ficlet

too short to post on ao3, so here you go Wednesday doesn't eat what the humans do. Hence, people arguing over what species she is. She finds this endlessly amusing. (set after crackstone) Wednesday sat down under a tree in the corner of the quad with a silver packet, similar in size to a Capri-sun. She looked around lazily, before spotting Yoko. Waiting until she had the vampire’s attention, she opened her mouth and bit down on the top, draining the bag. She then held the bag upside down, before squeezing it, all while staring directly at Yoko. Nothing dripped out.

Across the quad, Yoko slammed her hands down on the blue lunch table she sat in front of. “GOD DAMN IT,” she yelled. “DIVINA. WRITE DOWN VAMPIRE.” Her girlfriend scrawled it down on a notebook, sighing. Enid groaned, slamming her head onto her crossed arms. Bianca, who had been sitting with them since she had helped save the school, said idly, “Wasn’t only yesterday you saw her eating a raw chicken leg?”

Divina nodded wearily. “And the day before that she had a lamb rib.” Bianca blinked. “Isn’t that nor-” Yoko shook her head. “B, it was just the bone. And she bit it in half, before gnawing the whole thing to dust.” Enid patted her back, yawning slightly.

[teacup-gathering-itself]

Closeted Harry coming out to Ron after his breakup with Ginny and Ron just being like, “cool just don’t date one of my brothers”

Fred and George freezing and looking at Harry with nothing but absolute delight at the potential mischief.

Harry making eye contact with them, immediately understanding their intentions, and winking as he puts a finger to his lips, shushing them.

Ron following Harry’s line of sight and screaming “NO. NO. FUCK NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

Harry and the twins platonically flirting in the most obnoxious ways imaginable.

Harry showing up to breakfast in the Great Hall late with a different twins sweater on, looking debauched. One or even both the twins give him a salacious once over. Ron wants to sink into the floor and die.

Ron eventually gets used to this but absolutely loses it when the rest of his brothers send him their sweaters and flirt with him at the Burrow.

The Weasley boys sending flirty howlers to Harry just to send Ron spiraling.

Ron being so relieved when Harry dates literally anyone who isn’t one of his older brothers.

[theoldwhisky]

...since they are all teenagers and some even older bec it's mentioned that some vampires go there since decades they prob have heard a lot of heated moments between other people bec like yes castle walls a rather thick but they are supernatrual beings most of them with advanced hearing

they for sure heard more then they wanted to and there for give zero fucks anymore if others hear them too

like an unspoken rule resulting out if that

that no-one is allowed to bring up their complaines bec if they do they for sure will get it all in return all the things told that they didn't know others could hear so clearly through the walls

...idk why or how i came up with theis but yeah

[kulai]

their new uniforms are soooooo anime... like yeeessss!!! customize that uniform!!!!

[quietlyrebelling]

oh oh oh. in a parallel of s1 someone in their little tour group says something vaguely rude to enid and wednesday overhears. nothing is done about it at the moment. as they’re going to leave at the end of the day you hear from a guards radio “Report to block D, found one of the visitors locked in an off limits cell.”

i want the opening scene of wednesday s2 to be a close up shot of wednesday behind jail bars and her dark monologuing over the scene about how terrible it is she ended up here and then you see a flash light up her face for a second and enid says something to her off camera (“Ya Wednesday you definitely look super murderous”) and the shot pulls back and they’re just doing a tour of alcatraz, enid just took a photo, and she actually is visiting enid like she was asked to

[sleepy-steve]

🧠🪱 Wiggly Wednesday Thursday 🧠 🪱

thank you for tagging me @stervrucht ���

no pressure tags: @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @stevesbipanic and of course anyone else that would like to ♡

thinking about Steve and Eddie who, after going through rounds of physical therapy after everything, continue to work out together because Steve obviously loves it and loves having a friend to work out with. and Eddie notices the difference in his stamina when he gets back to performing on stage. (and if Eddie likes to watch Steve work out a little bit, and likes Steve coming over to help his form more than a little bit, well that’s his business.) but Steve takes a dance class and shakes up his usual warmup, leaving Eddie with some… thoughts.

***

“Okay, Munson,” Steve says, pulling his arm across his body for a shoulder stretch. “You ready?”

“Ready to be tortured? Always,” Eddie jokes. It was their thing. Eddie acts like he hates being there, but he still shows up every other day to their local gym in Indianapolis. And he won’t ever deny the benefits he’s noticed since starting their exercise regime. He's faster on stage, doesn't get winded near as easily, holding those screaming notes without feeling like his lungs will explode. Little did he know that today his joke would come to be true.

Steve liked most kinds of exercise. He was a sporty guy. He liked the pull and stretch of his muscles, the feeling of accomplishment after achieving a new goal, that delicious soreness the day after a really good workout. But mostly he loved trying new things. He’d give anything half a chance if he thought it might be fun. Which is how he ended up at a dance-aerobics class the week prior, finding himself having a lot of fun, blushing furiously when the women in the class complimented how quickly he picks up the steps.

He went back three more times that week. Part of his enjoyment came from the new warmup he was taught in the class. Steve’s usual warmup consisted of basic stretches and a light jog, covering all bases to ensure he didn’t get injured, but not very exciting.

This, however, was far more enjoyable. Steve found himself sinking deep into stretches he didn't know he had flexibility for, and moving his hips to a beat, ultimately just having way more fun with the warmup. And it was about to become a huge problem for Eddie.

Steve pops his headphones over his ears, the tape deck tucked securely in his shorts pocket. He bends over, inhaling deeply as the song starts, rising up with his hands overhead, exhaling as he rolls his wrists, hips moving side to side with the beat. His already short cropped t-shirt rises, showing off a good amount of his chest. He lets his arms come down, bending over again, feeling the pull in his hamstrings. Gripping his elbows, he lets the top half of his body hang, swinging from side to side, his hamstrings fully stretched out.

Eddie looks up from his own basic stretching, shocked to see Steve fully bent over, because hey, since when was he so flexible? With Metallica blaring through his own headphones, Eddie just stares, completely forgetting where he was at in his warmup.

Steve lets his hands drop, moving to one foot, back to the centre, then the other foot. Ass just up in the air, his shorts way too tight. Eddie swallows. He’d been denying his crush for months at this point, and good god this was not helping.

Rolling his shoulders as he stands up, Steve lets his hands travel down his bare thighs, sinking into a squat with his back arched and head tilted back. Eddie's eyes are wide as he watches those tight little shorts with the little cut-ins on the sides ride up, showing far more of Steve's glorious hairy thighs than Eddie can handle. Steve drops his head forward, hunching his shoulders as he moves back to standing. He repeats the motions, and Eddie wishes he had the strength to pull his stare away from Steve's ass.

Seeing Steve's head tilted back and his back arched is sending Eddie insane. Like, he geninely thinks he might evaporate on the spot if he keeps watching. But he just can't look away.

Turning himself sideways, Steve has one foot stepped out in front of the other, legs perfectly straightened into a triangle shape, bent over his front leg. Just when Eddie thinks he’s about to get up and end his suffering, Steve lowers himself down into a lunge. His little shorts definitely way too small and tight for the movement, Steve lunges back and forth, fingertips resting on the ground on either side of his front foot. Eddie watches as the t-shirt rides up with each lunge, the desire to get his lips and tongue all over Steve's chest overwhelming him.

Shaking himself, Eddie tries to remember which shoulder stretch he was up to. He attempts something close to a stretch, but he can’t be sure he's doing it right, because Steve has lowered himself to the ground, front leg bent and back leg perfectly straight, and is fucking thrusting into the ground. If he were to ask Steve, he’d find out this was a hip flexor stretch. But Eddie’s forgotten how to form words entirely, suddenly imagining nineteen different ways he wants to get dicked down by the man before him.

Eddie suffers in silence, heart racing in his chest, watching as Steve repeats the movements on his other side. He prays that the torture ends soon, that they can just get to the workout, and Eddie can go back to pretending he doesn't want to ride Steve until his thighs give out. But Eddie gets no such luck.

Steve has moved into some kind of triangle position, hands on the ground, legs straight, and of fucking course, his ass in the air. Eddie marvels at how straight the shape is, only for a moment, because then Steve is lifting his heels up and down in turn, and jesus christ those tiny little shorts are just riding up, and Eddie can see a hint of Steve's ass peeking out. His jaw drops. He may actually explode.

Just when Eddie's thinking he can't take much more of this, Steve lowers himself down, knees spread wide, arms stretched out in front of him and head tucked down. A wild and rushed series of thoughts fly across Eddie's mind, all centred around Steve kneeling down in front of him. Eddie needs to get it together quickly.

As Steve brings himself back up to the triangle position, walking his feet to meet his hands and rolling his spine up, shoulders and head rolling back last, he sees Eddie taking off for his warmup jog. Assuming that he probably just took too long with his new warmup, Steve shrugs it off and starts his jog shortly after.

Eddie hits his personal best in several weights that day, desperately trying to expend his excess energy in some way. He barely registers the wins, mind still stuck on Steve and his perfect ass in all those new positions. He almost dissolves on the spot when Steve claps him on the shoulder in congratuations.

At the end of their session, Eddie takes a freezing cold shower and prays for the sweet release of death.

[persephoneed]

Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

[gangrel-pride]

when literally everyone, including your boyfriend, knows you're in love with your roommate

[i-like-anything-water]

Wednesday: Would you love someone else after I died?

Enid: Why, are you dying?

Wednesday: Why, are you considering?

Enid:...I don't think you'll be the one dying today.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

What is... crack?

While the name does come from the illegal substance, when it comes to fiction it refers to a scenario that is so bizarre and basically implausible in canon that it seems like the author must have been under the influence while writing it.

Crack fics are intentionally absurd and ridiculous and often they are also humorous. They are not supposed to present actual theories about canon stories, but a test on how far someone could go with the source material. It's not easy to create a well-written crack fic, even though it can be easy to write crack.

There is also the possibility of crack pairings (also named Crackships). They are pairings that are completely out there, often not even from the same universe and they make people ask themselves, how anyone could look at those characters and make them end up with each other.

[monbons]

WIP Wednesday

I had to proctor the PSAT this morning, which was a mind-numbing drag. BUT! It also means we had a half-day, so I am free! I am on my way to treat myself to lunch, and then who knows what exciting possibilities the day has in store while my own kids are in school. (Honestly, I'll probably just nap and read for a bit.)

Chapter 4 of The Boy Next Door goes up on Friday. Find a snip and tags below the cut.

I close my eyes again briefly before I feel the swat against my bum. I whip back up to standing. “What was that for?” “Can’t have you falling asleep out here. Go help Ebb in the back.” Gran attempts to herd me away. “Get your hands dirty. I’ll take over the register.” “Fine,” I grumble. “But I’m taking one of these with me!” I grab a biscuit from the display case and wave it in the air, racing towards the back before she can swat me again. I’m not sure precisely how I’m expected to help Ebb. She’s an exceptional baker. Made it a few rounds on Bake Off even. Meanwhile, I get teaspoons and tablespoons mixed up. I tried baking a cake for Penny once. I even asked Gran for a recipe. Although Penny ate my lopsided creation, I could tell by the way she kept her hand over her mouth that it wasn’t very good.  I find Ebb exactly where I expect—arms elbow-deep in a giant bowl. She’s wearing an apron that reads, “Don’t be afraid to take WHISKS.”

Hope your Wednesday is as half-fabulous as mine!

@thewholelemon, @raenestee, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @roomwithanopenfire

@iamamythologicalcreature, @emeryhall, @mooncello, @hushed-chorus, @rimeswithpurple

@artsyunderstudy, @aristocratic-otter, @arthurkko, @best--dress, @brilla-brilla-estrellita

@run-for-chamo-miles, @supercutedinosaurs, @whatevertheweather, @talentpiper11, @larkral

@shrekgogurt, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @blackberrysummerblog, @messofthejess

@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @orange-peony, @facewithoutheart, @alexalexinii

@ic3-que3n, @skeedelvee, @fiend-for-culture, @katatsumuli, @stitchyqueer

@ileadacharmedlife, @theimpossibledemon, @letraspal, @rbkzz, @confused-bi-queer

[catguangcorner]

wip wednesday - silly 'lg is secretly a catboy' excerpt 🤍

i remembered wip wednesday is a thing so here's a little snippet!! i'd like to make wipweds a habit cos it's fun sharing my writing hehe :D

From front of house, Cheng Xiaoshi watched as he blinked, slow at first, then a little faster as his nose scrunched up and he let out a little kitten sneeze. Something so disarmingly endearing froze Cheng Xiaoshi in place. He ignored the whistle of the boiling water in the kettle until Lu Guang, looking at Cheng Xiaoshi who was fixated on him, said:

“Xiaoshi, the kettle is done.”

“Oh,” he said. Scratching at his hair a little sheepishly, feeling like he’d been caught.

“Coffee before tomorrow would be nice.”

“Yeah, yeah, got it.”

He handed him a mug, their fingertips grazing as he did so. Lu Guang bowed his head slightly, in silent thanks, and set it down on the coffee table to let it cool a little. He never did like drinking his hot beverages straight away, glancing at his watch as he set it down and letting it cool for two or three minutes before deeming it the perfect temperature. On the other hand, Cheng Xiaoshi thoughtlessly drank whatever was handed to him, tongue be damned. Because of this, Lu Guang had long lost his sympathy for when his tongue got burned. Didn’t stop him from complaining of course.

Today was no different — arms crossed, Lu Guang waited for his drink to cool. And at this moment, Cheng Xiaoshi saw an opening.

[beyourownanchor6]

thanks for the tag beloved @elvensorceress 🩵

—more from chris doesn’t come back au bc it’s my only wip and i’m determined to finish her. ok, enjoy the angst 🫶🏼

“I uh, I should—I could…go home?” Buck offered, fiddling absently with the bandaging on his wrist. Eddie tracked the movement, keeping his eyes trained on it as he answered.

“You are home.”

It was all Eddie said before exiting the truck, leaving an odd chill behind.

Buck got his own door open before Eddie could round to do so. He didn’t need anyone taking care of him. He was fine.

The walk to the door felt endless, Buck stopping just behind Eddie as they reached it.

Chris wouldn’t be inside with Carla, he wouldn’t be away at a sleepover, or still at school. He was just—gone.

As Eddie twisted the knob, Buck began to panic watching as the door opened to reveal an empty foyer. Seeming to sense his unease, or maybe needing the comfort himself, Eddie latched onto Buck and tugged him over the threshold and into the house. It was like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of him, just like when the wave had come crashing down.

He pulled back from Eddie, but Eddie stayed strong, tightening his grip on Buck.

“H-he’s not,” buck swallowed, choking on air, his next words coming out in a whisper. “He’s gone Eds.”

Eddie sniffled. “I know Buck. I—I know.”

Buck looked away from Eddie, glancing around desperately for anything else to latch onto. Eddie didn’t need to deal with him; not right now.

Steady hands were on him again, Buck trying to twist out of them, all but fighting Eddie off.

“I-I-I can’t-cant’ be here Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head as he pulled Buck closer.

“Please don’t leave. I—you’re all I have, Buck.”

And that’s what did him in, the floodgates in him opening up like the eye of the storm.

He let out a gut-wrenching sob as he fell into Eddie, the two of them falling to the floor in a heap of sobs. Their tears fell together as they leaned into one another, holding on for all they had. Maybe if Buck held on tight enough, he wouldn’t lose Eddie too.

tagging: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @honestlydarkprincess @monsterrae1 @spotsandsocks @eddiebabygirldiaz @buddierights @wikiangela @wildlife4life @daffi-990 @giddyupbuck @eddiiediaz @disasterbuckdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @wh0re-behavi0r @spaceprincessem @hippolotamus @underwater-ninja-13 @watchyourbuck

[crybabycunt]

Kate: How would a murder attempt look on your record now that you're out of the Red Room? Huh?

Yelena: Terrible.

Kate: Exact-

Yelena: People would know I failed to get the job done.

Kate: Wait.

Kate: NO.

[aha-my-villainous-thoughts]

Best caption for this sweaty wip wins a prompt 🎨💅