#we're people we're people we're people why cant you see people
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if spidermasc deactivated his account because of harassment again, I'm going to scream. Why cant you just leave him alone? All hes doing is headcanoning trans Yellowjackets and you butthurt people are making it into a big fucking deal when all we're doing is having fun, just like you.
Auggie, I'm so sorry that this has happened again, and even if you dont see this, I hope you hear it cus I'm sending it to you telepathically. Fuck all them transphobes.
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just kinda nauseous and off tonight.idk how people can sleep sometimes. i feel like death
#fool's monologue#the only thing i can think of. why is shit like this i mean thats not#i know why shit is like this it is a constant#but i guess the naive part of me keeps repeating it#over and over again like its gonna help#yeah no shit this shouldnt be happening. and it still is#and i just like#oh god#how do i sleep i cant sleep this is awful#this is awful this is awful this is awful this is awful this is awful#just. oh my god what do we do#i mean we do what we can#thats what we do#but i cant wrap my head around it what the fuck is any of this#why does any of this happen why is anyone okay with this#why is it everyone okay w it why does everyone go about everything normal#how how how how how#im not mentally ill im fucking losing my mind at how awful everything is#this is not mental illness this is not me having a breakdown this is just that bad#and i do what i cna and i do what i can but holy shit why is this happening#we're people we're people we're people why cant you see people#i know theres a reaosn i know theres a smarter way people put it im not that person im#fuck dude#this is so bad#this is so so so atrocious i cant even wrap my head around it#i know youre suppoosed to be strong and rational and hopeful and i definitely#am hopeful but i feel so fucking insane#its why over and over again just why#why is this happening to people#why god
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hate how angry and upset i get over normal things with good intentions behind them. can we just be fucking normal for once.
#boycritter et al#um. anyways. if we are not friends. do not say you will hug me. preferably dont imply any physical contact between us but#if we are not friends then that makes me very uncomfortable#if you are sending me an anonymous ask. the same applies.#even if you are my friend if you are anonymous i do not know who you are. and will treat you as if you are a stranger.#and will be very uncomfortable#idk. sometimes i think real life social rules should apply more on the internet#you wouldnt go up to a stranger in real life who was crying and just hug them. why is it so different on the internet.#anwyays. i doubt many people will see this. and i cant blame people for not knowing#bc its kind of an insane request to make and i havent really mentioned it#i just. i hate getting hugged irl by most people. if we're not very close i feel restrained more than anythinig.#i get that same feeling online even if theres no actual physical contact.
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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controversial or whatever but people get so annoying when they decide to share their whiny opinions about wheelers taking focus in s5
#i dont say anything bc theyre opinions#but like#we DONT EVEN KNOW tHE PLOT THOUGH ??? 😭😭#'but why does x matter?!?!' well... thats why we watch it to find out ❤️#we're making assumptions based off literal photos and titles we aren't 100% are real#but its safe to assume that#the wheelers are part of a big twist when it comes to the supernatural part obviously#holly being the wheeler that sees things when her parents dont catch it#also that vision nancy had??#ever thought there was a reason for that?#its not out of nowhere lmao#and i get why people complain#they want an exact copy of s1 dynamics/groups#but the fact is they cant#its impossible with the amount of characters they have now#just let the story unravel itself#its gonna have like an 11-13 hour runtime#stop making assumptions bc most pictures tell us so little#you wont die just because wheelers are finally getting focus#everyone thats important will get something#might delete but
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Why do people not seem to understand that yes, watering down lloyd and harumi's dynamic to a sibling one is bad. Because they don't have that going on and it's far more complicated. But like also sticking them in a relationship is not any better lmao. You cannot be claiming the high ground by watering down their incredibly complicated feelings towards each other into just romance
Especially considering there IS moral grounds to object to them in a relationship!
#ninjago#lego ninjago#maintagging this idgaf people need to hear it#I only ever see people go “uerm watering them down to being siblings is bad”#okay but like. You are also watering them down by shipping them#Also there is legitimate reason to be uncomfortable with the idea of them in a relationship considering she calls Lloyd father. HER father#and wanted to be adopted by him#and founded an entire gang literally called the sons of garmadon because she viewed him as a hero#and was also projecting her loss of family on him#why cant you people understand “they dont have a familial relationship” and “they still sort of are family” are not mutually exclusive.#I could also get into the misogyny behind the ship but I dont think we're ready for that yet!
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we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡
#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now#and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off#bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty#serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything#serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY#NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME#but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it#like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'#bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life#BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH#that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company#and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭#and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER#AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME#SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING#ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!!#hella goes to uni
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ok might be my third world privilege but if i had the option to vote for someone who I agreed with 30-40% of their policies i won't be excited or pleased abt it but I'd be in that polling booth doing my part idk
#the only thing i think abt in all this v annoying uselection brouhaha is damn... imagine if we had those kinds choices in nigeria/africa 😭#our only choices are usually guy who wants to steal as much money as he can or guy who wants to killl everyone and they'll both have#maga-type fanbases who are basically thugs for hire known to steal&rig the elections by threatening abusing and even killing ppl. fun!#oh and these politicians who are responsible for literally pillaging your country are welcomed with open arms by the same citizens who are#suffering just as much as you are and when you ask then how or why it boils down to this: they share the same state/tribe/ethnic group#like thats all it takes....#the very nature of nigerian culture worships bad politicians and bad ppl in power in general as long as they have money#this is not unique to us no because this is what humans have been trained to believe/do in this capitalist hell but it is breathtaking to#see people contort whatever values or morals they have just to find a way to justify their acceptance & endorsement of their own suffering#there is no solution. apathy is understandable i get it but what does that mean for us? for the children who will grow up in this world?#idk. we're this close to military rule again and i just cant do it yall
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Sometimes this fandom uses John's shitty treatment of Cyn as an excuse to dismiss her completely. Like "well, he treated her like garbage when they broke up, which could ONLY mean that she never mattered to him or the Beatles story as a whole!"
#im sorry but. if you are using her simply as a prop for your tinhat theory. maybe remember she was a REAL PERSON..... for like one second#i mean people have dismissed her to prop up yoko for decades#but its so disappointing to see this side of the fandom do the same#But It's Fine! We're Doing It For A ~Subversive Ship!#:/ idk man. why cant we have queer rep AND be normal about women....???#fiona.docx#discourse
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal
#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫#like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it#but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like#this was the 1st time we were hearing about it#like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat#and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like#oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and#all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal#like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching#anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today#like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled#anyway#also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month#like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird#but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out#and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them?#my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless#also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans#(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out#again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either#also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas#ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want#anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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thought about AI generated work too long and now I'm mad
#WHYYYYYYYYYY IS THIS EVEN A FUCKING DEBATE. WHY IS IT A QUESTION. WHY IS ANYONE STILL ACTING LIKE THIS IS OKAY.#THIS SHIT EXISTS BC BUTTHURT INSECURE MEN CANT DEAL WITH THEIR INSECURITIES AND RATHER THAN GROWING THEY MADE COMPUTER PROGRAMS#AND COMPANIES ARE GOING TO EXPLOIT THAT FOR ALL ITS WORTH AND USE IT TO EXPLOIT US FOR ALL WE'RE WORTH BC THAT'S HOW CAPITALISM WORKS#THEY WANT THE MOST MONEY GAINED FOR THE LEAST MONEY SPENT AS FAST AS FUCKING POSSIBLE SO RICH DOUCHEBAGS GET TO BUY ANOTHEE YACHT#WHILE WE FORGET HOW TO FEEL AND TALK AND COMMUNICATE AND LOVE AND MAKE OUR OWN WORK JUST FOR US.#NO. THEY NEED TO SKIM OFF THE TOP OF EVERYTHING EVERYONE DOES AND IM FUCKING SICK OF IT.#HOW DO PEOPLE NOT SEE THIS ISSUE FOR WHAT IT IS?#ITS NOT JUST YOUR JOB THEY WANT TO TAKE. ITS YOUR SPIRIT TOO.#and MAYBE im being fatalistic about this but sue me! fucking sue me. i dont care. im so pissed off im going to lose it.#im not saying we're doomed im just saying that too many people seem too comfortable with the future generative AI really proposes.#and maybe you shouldnt be using it as a fucking art school student or professor. but what the hell do i know.#sending a campus wide message thats just the RISE. RISE. RISE. WHERE IS YOUR RAGE. RISE. RISE. image#and an article about generative AI business strategies#raspberry rambles#got 2 write essay now :(
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can't lie g/omens fans are starting to piss me off
#cant rlly talk bc i watched it too like#but i cant imagine being so attached to a show that you are SOO desperate for s3 that you don't seem to care that one of the creators has#multiple extremely credible allegations against him. which when they were revealed a lot of his long term fanbase reacted by saying#'yeah that tracks there were rumours about him for years' like hello?????#are you really so desperate for a ship portrayed by two straight men and written by a straight creep to become canon??#remember when people tried to discredit the allegations by saying the timing was suspicious wrt the uk election. wild#also WHY did it take so long for mainstream media outlets to report on it. so weird i wanna know what happened there#like as far as i can see the bbc still hasn't reported on it???#which is crazy atp. he's not a household name but his work was successful and a lot of people would probably have heard of go or coraline#okay so i wrote this post and then googled and found out he'd been fired from the show. which GOOD#and then saved this to the drafts bc i figured it wasn't relevant anymore#but then i went into the tag and saw the fucking destiel meme meme saying 'we're not getting a full season :(' FUCK OFF OMG#the man has such credible allegations against him that even big corporations are refusing to employ him again#and the reaction is 'but we no longer get six hours of tv' oh my god#it's so late and im so tired maybe i won't be so annoyed about this after a full night's sleep#unlikely tho
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thinking more,,
#i cant help but feel horribly heartbroken every time i hear whats happening in gaza as well as so many other places#it feels like-- like none of this had to happen#i guess ive never even been in the same universe as someone who even sees one death as a solution#let alone thousands#as a jew especially it feels horrible#like this happened to us. and we're just doing it to someone else??? why??????#because if you walk into someones home kindly they will take you in. walk in with a gun and theres gonna be tension#i dont understand at all#and like maybe im naive. maybe im just young and my brain hasnt developed yet#and when im an adult ill understand how people could ever think war solves any problem#but. i just think its literally never fixed anything#sometimes people suck. should NOT kill them over it#and thats not even true in this situation!!! israel fucking sucks and theyre the ones commiting a genocide here!!!!!!!#if you walked in peacefully none of this wouldve happened#pass over is soon. and we'll say prayers and eat matza and have lots of food#and those across the globe will do the same. and yet they are murdering people#and we'll be in our safe warm houses and they will be dying#shouldnt there be some way to help them all???? america is one of the richest countries in the world and we're actively hurting them..#i genuinely cant fathom how people could ever think like that#i dont think evil exists but then i look at the world and i realize weve gotten pretty damn close#and yet i still have to wake up tomorrow#and i still have my own life to live#and the world doesnt stop for me to mourn strangers#i hate all of it. why cant we just be nice to people#anyways. ive just been trying mostly to avoid this topic esp online#this is my little safety zone and ive never really been one for politics; esp things that i dont understand#yknow i dont wanna spread misinfo; and at the same time i dont have the energy or knowledge to fact check#plus the whole emotional toll in a place that i just wanna unwind in#idk. i think im starting to feel like i cant just ignore all these posts anymore. im kinda starting to feel like i wanna scream#all of this really fucking sucks. this shouldnt be happening
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no one is obligated to like characters but lying & pretending abt importance to a story is just silly
#like. there is a very good reason why we are seeing skk's partnership dynamic rn.#we're being shown two people in near perfect tandem with each other#because the next big thing is sskk. we need to see what a well established partnership does#so sskk's whole “actually working together and creating a very strong bond” moment will wrap up dazai's plan for them#you cant have a new generation of skk without the originals. as dazai and chuuya's part in this arc reaches it's back seating stage#we're going to get sskk finalizing the battle/getting close to doing that#.. i didnt mean to talk that much srry i just loove the writing of seeing skk's already perfect partnership and watching sskk grow into it#its very fun and awesome and cool
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doing the equivalent of gripping something intensely hard then forcing myself to let it go every time i see something about the stupid fandom drama i got pulled into earlier this year
#nothing bad ppl just... bringing up its existence...AGAIN......#every time i see it i wanna go on a rant for a billion years but the worst place to do that would be on tumblr#I rly don't wanna see anyone talking abt it unless it's to criticize the ppl who started the false accusations or to apologize to us#for the harassment#Buster: You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?#anyway I cant believe ive had the misfortune of interacting w some1 who has to b vindictive toward others to quell their own insecurity#to accuse us of racism because he wasn't allowed to be in a personal friends discord group...#and then saying that we didn't wanna let him in bc he wasn't a 'popular' account? 1. he has way more followers than some ppl in the server#hence why he was able to get so many ppl to attack us#2. he can't keep his own story straight. First we're racist then we're ableist then we gatekeep popularity?#Dude... we don't like you because you're vindictive and take minor slights way too personally...hence...everything that fucking happened#anyway idk who reported him but i thank them for it and i hope that was worth their account getting suspended for getting paid to harass us#to anyone outside of all this reading this mess... please question the validity of ppls accounts if they don't offer concrete proof#and the only proof is based on assuming that certain actions COULD POSSIBLY line up to the accusations#this includes if multiple people have the same accusation without proof because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED#except it was dumber because several of their accusations literally contradicted themselves#wowww people apologized and informed their audience about possible microagressions once they were informed. they MUST be racist!#and if you don't want to dig into it that deep..then by all means mind your own damn business before you join in on someone else's witchhun
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