#we're not going to talk about how i straight up forgot to post this okay

[goodfellowe]

Despite the heat, an odd chill rose up from Bow’s middle as she stared at her back, sharp and sudden and rolling in waves through her body like something alive. “What are you doing?”

The Queen's Labyrinth (AO3)

Chapter 4: Paper Labyrinths

Bow and Timmy attempt to pass out some of Hattie's missing posters, but nobody seems to care.

Nobody except Mu, that is.

Cover art by @mebssann.

[soraviie]

them as boyfriends.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader  ━  masterlist

━ about: fluff  ━  pictures taken from Pinterest

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON:

Conversations! I am extremely chill about it but still insistent

Conversations about stuff!

Doesn't even have to be like here's the top 10 reasons why Auguste Comte was a cunt but like overall

Why do you enjoy doing some things and why are these things his hobbies you know

Why he knows that some of his habits are bad but he can't seem to stop them and so on

I always think that Namjoon is very concerned about doing the Right Thing, you know, being an objectively good person within a subjectively impossible world he probably worries a lot about "oh, was this thing I said perhaps going to rub you off the long way", "is what I'm doing with my influence enough, is it right?" "oh, you said it was okay but could it be that when I did this you wish I didn't and so on"

Wants to do right by the people he loves so open, frequent communication he views as an opportunity to improve and be assured that he's not an ignorant tool

A multifaceted individual so you get to see all sides - cute and cuddly, shy and embarrassed, the hoe side

Does absolutely wake you up in the mornings like "get up, sucker, we're going somewhere, get up"

Often says he's bringing you to a little something and it could be anywhere between a specific tree in a park and a booked-out art gallery during the night

Tries to echolocate you if he's out and forgot to take his glasses

He's insecure that he can't cook so he probably cleans a lot

Probably has read an article about weaponized incompetency and therefore tries to split chores evenly and keep them regularly done

He's actually torn up he can't do most things he would want like - wait for you after work or walk along the river freely

So he puts the extra effort in all he gets - lazy mornings, eating brunch abroad etc.

I can for some reason imagine him slow driving a bike at night and you're walking beside

Why is he not giving you a lift? He's scared he'll crash and you'll be hurt

If you can drive and own a car he will indicate that he wants to be driven not by asking but by sitting in the seat and putting a seat belt on in front of your eyes

When on tour or working late nights sends you short videos of the animals he finds along the way (think of that Instagram video of him harassing a crab on the way home from work)

Deep morning voice! Lord!

Absolutely the one on the list to have sex to relieve pent-up anger

Sleeps shirtless

Just get like ear plugs or straight-up knock yourself out because I just know he snores like a whole ass truck

If he's in love, really, I mean truly in love you're straight up becoming immortalized in the songs

Like he assigns a symbol that he associated to you whether a specific flower or a word or a concept but it's a little thing that keeps mentioned throughout

If it's a private track will ask you to moan for it to be used in a track

On like one day in a year when you convince him to be lazy, for sure, sits and watches TV with like a passive-aggressive frown and munches on chips really loudly

It's not even a bad show it's just how his face looks then

When meeting your friends, has an awkward "smile and wave, boy, smile and wave" stance

Definitely plays up his hotness once in a while - sleazy smiles, and those bedroom eyes, there are two wolves within him, a romantic and a player

If you're walking through an art gallery, for sure talks about every single thing he sees

The way you're on his Instagram is by sharing the photos you take, through them he can see the man you fell in love with and he becomes giddy over it

YOONGI:

So hear me out but when Yoongi is crushing he's like a boyfriend, when he's in a relationship he's like a married man with two kids and a mortgage

It's not that the spark is missing (guy can get you hot and bothered in a matter of seconds, you know what I'm saying) but it's literal comfort

Everything about him is comfort

He's like what men think men should be but so much better

E.g. fixes stuff - lamps, chairs, bulbs

Has plans on doing renovation

He never does it but he insists that when he gets the free time-!

"Next weekend."

"Yoon, you said it last weekend."

"Yeah, and eventually I'll do it. Consistency is key."

If he's home and you're there cooks meals 100%

For some reason, I always think he's really into cooking breakfast

It's more likely for him to cook breakfast than dinner because he would oftentimes order it in

Soft lighting in the apartment, no overhead lights

His type of touching is subtle

When you're watching say a movie, he doesn't lean into you wholly but like sits and keeps a hand slumped on your knee

Listen to this - fleeting hand holding

If you're keeping your hand on the table and he's near, he'll stroke your hand for 3 seconds take it away and repeat

Touches your pinky with his - it's like saying "hey"

Now hear me out, gossip

Jimin is for sure the no.1 gossiper but Yoongi is not too far behind himself

You're getting the freshest hottest brew about every single idol and producer he finds repulsive

Not too big of an outdoors guy but he'll do literally anything for you so if you want to go on like a few-day retreat, you sit him down and ask him:

"Is this something you want?"

"Yes -ㅅ-"

"Be honest! Are you really okay with going away this weekend and doing absolutely no work?"

"You'll be happy -ㅅ- yes -ㅅ-"

Hates it but you're happy so he's happy

I think he gets a little bit insecure about his partner not being to be able to do a lot of things so he spoils them a lot - trips and rest days and such

Is a hypocrite though

If you drink a lot of coffee nags the shit out of you only to drink seven cups himself

And here's the hill I'm going to die on - really strict when it comes to eating sweets before proper meals

He might be chill when you say you're not hungry, it sometimes happens you know, but will not! have it! for you to eat candy before dinner!

"What are you - my mom?" you sneer as he shOVES a pack of gummy worms into a deep, dark corner of a pantry where it most likely will never see the light of the sun ever again

"I'll call her," he warns, stirring whatever he was cooking that evening. "Don't test me."

Fights with him are rare and very diplomatic

He treasures you a lot so he takes a logical stance and flat out states "we both could say something hurtful, let's take a breather"

If you're in a foul mood and anNOYED at everything and itching for a fight, he'll cock an eyebrow and just say: "Is that really something you want to be spoken out there?"

Sometimes gets you cute plushies

You once walked in on him reading omegaverse fanfic and no, there is no backstory, nor an explanation given

Holds an incredibly harsh critique of snacks

Tastes a chip, hates it, discARDS the packet with a "d i s g u s t i n g"

You will absolutely hear a fuck ton of "back in my day" and "these are not Korean nuts, these are x nuts, they're no good"

Somehow I think he shits himself more before meeting your friends than parents???

Because he knows how to get along with older people but your friends who are convinced he's going to cheat on you, he's nothing but another over-inflated popstar stroking his ego? not a clue, he's a lost boy

He's so humble and helpful that, of course, he wins them over

Probably has driven your friends somewhere where they need to be, like a reception, probably offered his car for moving purposes (does anyone else help their friends move in and out of places?)

When on long car rides absolutely tries to gaslight you by saying the most impossible shit like:

"Of course, there is."

"There are no rivers in the Gobi desert!"

"But there are! Ancient people, how do you think they managed to travel all that distance? It's because they got to the river and that replenished them halfway."

Actually just wants to talk to you and this is an easy way to do so

dRUNK Yoongi just think about it and enjoy, he's so giggly and smiley and probably calls out for you with annoying frequency

Your nickname is an inside joke, many don't think it's cute at all but you know better and that's what's important

JIN:

Gets irrationally shy even after dating you after a while, say, you're changing and he walks in, for some reason puts a hand in front of his eyes??

Definitely covers his body if you're checking him out

"Can we please have some respect? Some decorum?" he whines, neck flushing at an alarming speed

Annoys you a lot, he's the annoying boyfriend

Tells the most ridiculous things, like:

"______________, I was in the bathroom and I did this," flicks hair. "And wow, I'm just so handsome. You must be a very strong person indeed to be able to bear it every day."

His confidence is a Schrodinger's cat - half true, half - farce

Somedays he wakes up and doesn't feel it at all and hides away from you saying he's ugly right now

Please assure him a lot during that time

If you work too much he's the best remedy for that

Jin is wise and helps you see how your time is the most important thing, that you don't have to prove your existence to anyone and can occupy space without proving your worth over and over again

Conversations with him don't often delve into deep waters but at the same time you don't feel unheard because he listens very attentively even if he doesn't share these anxieties and concerns

Does, unfortunately, give you secondhand embarrassment quite often

Has and will wear ridiculous outfits that have people turning their heads around

You're trailing with him, hand in hand, head low and Jin's ears too are flaming like gasoline on fire but who is he to prohibit himself from indulging things

Most likely to want morning sex, I will not elaborate

He has a special soft smile for when he feels properly cared for and babied

Appreciates being given flowers, hair tugged behind the ear

He doesn't give a fuck what's a norm, it makes him feel nice, fuck you, he'll continue doing it

If you find fishing boring, sorry you'll have to put up with it

"I guess this will be our thorn, honey, you'll just have to endure this for love"

He takes no shit, not even from you but in return never, ever prohibits you from enjoying things

For example, diving into ice-cold water in a lake is not his idea of a fun time but if you enjoy it, he'll be by the side shivering with a towel and a thermos

Definitely, 100% rehearses meeting your parents and quizzes you on his

It is no surprise at all when you meet that both of you know just the right words, the right gestures

Jin loves his family and to be put in a conflict between you and them is a walking nightmare

So he does his best to avoid that

You often eat at very random places scattered throughout the town and sometimes out of it

One day it's a luxury five-star restaurant in a penthouse, the next you're sitting on a wobbly chair at a marketplace, eating a small vegetable or meat skewer from a plastic cup

But Jin always knows how to bring a good time, so both times are just perfect

HOSEOK:

Okay so if this makes sense but Hoseok is the type of boyfriend who wants you to improve

So he wouldn't be super clingy or overly protective or madly jealous but he shows his care by reminding you to do self-care

Like skincare routine, morning and night he's there to ask you if you did it

Or whether you ate well, why not, why are you neglecting care in your life

I don't see him as overly romantic like big-ass gestures but really consistent care from the start

Now hear me out and don't tussle, he partially views you as a responsibility and a project

and befORE YOU GET PITCHFORKS LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING

He works hard, correct?

He's a strict teacher and absolutely works himself 100% for maximum improvement

And it's not like he's hovering over you like a helicopter parent, moulding you into a version of his liking I just think he wants you to be the person you really like

So obviously it depends on what your goals are but he's really quietly motivating you to do better for yourself

It may not sound most romantic but at its core he wants you to be happy and I think he realises that it doesn't always just means being loved by a close person

So he wants you to improve, feel better about yourself and feel better about the world in such a way

Because the world is a very dark place, it can't handle even more negativity

Kinky, 0 explanation iykyk

A hype man for sure

If you're ever feeling like you can't do something he'll convince you that at the very least there's not so much loss involved as you think

Handmade jewellery especially if he's been away for a long time

I imagine him sitting at a studio, taking like a 15-minute break and he's tinkering with beads, arranging them and stringing them into a bracelet tailored to your interests

Buys you clothes more than anything else say like a car or a house

He splurges reasonably

Though them triangle bags he had back in the day cost like 300 that's my whole rent homie

It's hard to read what he'd be like as a boyfriend but out of all most likely to feel like a friend with added stuff

Which isn't bad at all

I think he struggles between the view of love in the traditional sense he's been taught and interpreting it his own, more peculiar way

Buys subtly matching clothes

Has a private Instagram and definitely hypes you up there

If he's upset but not overtly mad, he'll lie in the bed and Complain using full VFX of Hobi sound effects

Somehow managed to friendzone you once

As an act of revenge, you did that as well and now has learnt his lesson

100% has inner demons but out of all is the most likely to not share it, above Yoongi, above all

He doesn't struggle with communication per se but struggles with understanding that he himself can have faults and he doesn't have to do everything alone

He holds people he loves in high standard hence why he's so insistent on self-care; on being the best you can be within your own eyes, so it makes complete sense that he holds himself up to the highest standard, cutting himself the least amount of slack

Makes you feel like you're the most hilarious person in the world but doesn't talk much at home

If you feel awkward at an event and pressured will leave immediately, I just have a sense about this

JIMIN:

Has a knack for jealousy but the type to end with you being railed the entire night with his jaw clenched

I know we all like his cute side but he can be scary

He can be standoffish and sharp he just mostly chooses to not be

He chooses the high ground though that doesn't always mean he wants to take one

So if you have an ex he particularly loathes he will be near poisonous to that person

But lets it go because it's not about them, it's about you and you deserve his undivided attention

He needs assurance a lot because I think he's convinced himself you'll leave because honestly, it's a hard lifestyle to tolerate in a partner

Touchy but listen to this his favourite is not hugging you but leaning into you

Because it can be so variable

Like cutely leaning onto you whining at you at a full volume or pressing his nose in your cheek with a smirk

I have a feeling he'd enjoy it if you have some temper

He hates fights, absolutely abhors them, and probably has fights because he didn't voice something in the first place because he didn't want to fight

But if you're mad at someone else? If you're angry and getting heated and being bossy?

He just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

But he often has ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he's in tune with his sensual side

Speaking of sensual, reads the most toe-curling, filthy romance books in his free time

I'm talking like casually sipping coffee and calmly listing through like a BDSM orgy

He's the type to try everything once, within reasons

Often when talking has a soft, whiny voice and holds a part of your body rubbing circles there

I can't imagine his flirty nature not getting him in trouble at some point

But he makes his commitment known in very intense ways

Like gripping your jaw, making eye contact and saying something along that he can't even sleep without you, you're in his bloodstream

Kind of corny but manages to make it sexy because it's Park Jimin

He wants to know everything about you - what you're thinking, why you're thinking it, what made you to be who you are now and who you want to be tomorrow

Desires to make eye contact

Steals more of your clothes than you do his

Drunk, kind of out of it dancing to slow, sexy songs is a MUST for him

In a way there are two parts to being loved by him which are very representative of his sides - one is cute and cuddly, wanting you to be happy, like an idealized version of kids being in love and the other one is hungry

He wants you in and out, if you're not his in the understanding that he knows you best, that he can please you physically and please you mentally by giving you comfort, he's not happy

Sentimental, probably secretly keeps tokens of yours from the beginning of the relationship

Has a copy of all your childhood pics, argue with a wall

The one true no. 1 gossiper, he knows everything about everyone like your workplace for example

He knows why exactly that co-worker of yours left for a two-week vacation and the reason is salacious as all hell while you could be sitting there - "I have a coworker by that name?"

If you're out and he sees someone being rude, will viOLATE them

His sense of humour could make a person suicidal fr

But unlike some, he uses his inside voice

Has things that annoy him in your relationship but I don't think he says it unless it's really bad

He lets small grudges pass hoping to preserve the balance

Because only the mere thought of you leaving terrifies him

Once Jimin ties himself to someone, genuinely, he doesn't want to let them go for nothing

If you're away for a long time, let's say going abroad or really busy with work, his emotions get the best of him and he gets quite upset

But he hides it and frankly somewhat succeeds

But you can also tell when you return home that he was missing you like crazy

He needs to be pampered then, reassured that everything's fine

Does everything you want even if it's not what he would usually do

If you feel like driving for a while to stare at the moon, he absolutely would

Seduces you over and over again

Partially I think the reason he changes up his behaviour so much is to make sure he's keeping you on your toes and you wouldn't leave

It's lowkey a phobia of his

It's so obvious he's dating you

You can just see the Love

Also if he would just stop glARING at strangers for bREATHING your direction, that would be great

Reminds you to do a lot of things but also needs those reminders as well

Often so tired he forgets to do basic things so you have to wrangle him to take a shower or brush his teeth before bed because he really works himself very hard :(

If you're on your phone when it's time to sleep will yANK it away like a mOTHER

Love to him means sticking together - always

TAEHYUNG:

bops

Oh, you're expecting an explanation?

You're not getting any :)

Very soft

Also very weird

Being his partner means being his interpreter at times

You two have probably developed a language of your consisting chiefly of sounds

Sends you a shit ton of selfies

Mostly stupid and often blurry

He's a blurry sort of guy

Has sent a selfie taken from underneath his nostril

You could be sitting at work and he sends you a wet, shirtless selfie

Cause he's a menace

Big enthusiast of having soft lights as well

It makes the atmosphere feel more intimate

Everything is about intimacy when he's with you

Emotional, spiritual, physical

Where Jimin is in love with love, Taehyung loves romance

So big, classic, romantic gestures are a part of the Kim course

Date nights are unavoidable even let's say you're in two different countries he'll find a way

Sometimes by spontaneously flying out, sometimes by arranging the most ridiculous zoom call known to man

Like the camera placed where you would sit across the table with a restaurant dinner in front

Buys you lingerie, jewellery and fancy clothes

Teases you about loving him

"Ah, ______________ your passion for me makes a guy shy."

Cue to you sitting like -_-

Cause by now you're tiRED

I imagine he does get on your nerves a lot but by weaponizing all of that infamous charm at this point you're convinced he could get away with breaching the Geneva conventions

Always looks at you like he's done absolutely NO WRONG

Even if it happened like 3 seconds ago

Gatekeeps you in a way

He wants you all to himself and he's afraid if you don't like his friends, you might end up not liking him as well

Really values your opinion of him

Has gone to a fortune teller to ask how your future would look like

When you're going through a tough time, he "lends" you his angel

Misses you like crazy when you're apart

And sometimes even when you're here

If he's miraculously drunk, you're not getting him off you

Fucking Clingatron 3000 over here practically treats you as a plushie when you go to sleep

If you're the more reserved type, he's simply over the moon trying to make you flustered

And if you're really cuddly, he invites it eagerly and joyously

Jump atop of him and he'll laugh head thrown back onto the bed

Absolutely the type to find you being angry quite cute, with the exception that you're not so mad you're breaking up with him

This is of course really annoying because what if you want to establish dOMINANCE

Well good luck with that

He'll just smooch you to pacifism

Is lowkey always horny

Has kinks but I do not have the strength to think about them

Every week attempts to cook a fancy meal which ends up being an inedible concoction tasting like an armpit sweat

Promises to not do it again but lo and behold next week!

Watches a lot of movies with you

Watches you if you're out

Really zones out when you're ordering or simply waiting for something

If you're both at home plays soft music in the background so he could pull you into dance at any time

Fresh flowers whenever the old ones wilt down :(

Brings you to a lot of hipster cafes late in the evening

Quite often says the most inappropriate shit at absolutely the wrong place and time

For example, you're about to throw the bins out and he casually lets it slide -

"What if we tried for a baby right now?"

Smiles at his phone when texting you

Recalling back to the finding you cute when angry, definitely smiles and chuckles to himself if you're being huffy and complaining about work or what some dumbass did today

Begs you to share food

The type to bump into you playfully when walking

If he's going to bed, you're going to bed (can't sleep without his plushie)

Increasingly ridiculous nicknames - honey, babe, dearest, flower, sweet bean, rice cake, jujubii (warps it to sound more cuter version of jujube)

Eats up every capitalized love celebration ever invented - white day, rose day, his own made - "our first kiss day"

Really sentimental in that way

I think he wants love to feel more like a movie than it necessarily is so tries his hardest to make that dream a reality

JUNGKOOK:

It is often and with an honestly worrying frequency that you think there is nothing but mii music behind those eyes

Zones out a lot

Stops mid-sentences

Sometimes forgets to listen when you're ranting

It's because he feels safe with you

He feels that he doesn't have to make perfect sense so his mind wanders a lot because he's very relaxed when with you

The type of guy who holds your legs crossed in his lap, one hand caressing your calf when watching a movie

Speaking of movies, yes, you probably have a whole list of tv shows to watch together

(which he absolutely cheats by squeezing in extra screen time)

But you know what he absolutely does

Plays the most horrible otome games known to man

I'm talking about the horse dating simulator, every and all butler romances in the app store

At first, it's just to make fun of it

But then naturally gets really competitive and complains quite hard if the butler he's supposed to be romancing doesn't like him

"Why are men so hard to please?" he growls, fingers gripping the phone so hard the knuckles are white. "I spent 45 diamonds on this dress and "okay" is all YOU CAN SAY?!"

Though you started the game together, he's the one to finish them because it's just slightly hard to develop a romantic interest in an anime pigeon for you but not for Jungkook

Does as he's told when it comes to chores - washing dishes, cleaning, laundry, does it all eagerly

If you're messy, nags you but doesn't go as hard as, for example, Hoseok

Before you stop by his apartment, 100% tried to make it more "palatable" for you

Meaning, shOVES those 7 mattresses of his lying around into a closet or something

Whilst he's pouring a glass of wine you hear a crash come from somewhere

"What's that??" you ask and he sweats, absolutely shits himself

"Nothing," he replies, voice squeaky

"Didn't sound like nothing..."

"...dON't even worry about it."

If he has to take out the bins and your high-heeled shoes are the only thing available, he'll be strutting down to the garbage like a Victoria's Secret model

Has switched those LED lights to red to try and dance sexily in front of you only to bump his crotch into the corner of a closet

You're 90% of his impulse control so if you're gone, expect to see him with one eyebrow upon returning

Has cried at least once about thinking how much he loves you

Turns up his hotness just to see what happens

Is HIGHKEY ready to go at any given point

Even if he's dead tired, he's like "just a quick, lazy sesh, okay 🥺🥺🥺"

If you're scolding him also does this 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Finds it absolutely hilarious and endearing if you're bossy

Obeys whilst giggling all throughout

Your ass is a source of comfort for him, it's not your ass it's OUR ass once you're with him

If you're close with your family, probably the one most likely to spend a lot of time with them (of course, only with you there cause he cannot handle that tension A L O N E)

When you first brought him to meet the fam, anytime you tried to leave he would look at you with a smile on his lips but wide panicked eyes, hissing:

"do nOT leAVE me"

"I need to go to the bathroom..."

"Hold it! for the love of gOD hOLD iT."

After a while, he's a bit more chill, the type to be brought along to every camping trip and cookout

Is probably used for labour by your relatives

No, does not send you memes, he's breaking the Gen Z stereotype as he's not attached to the hip with his phone

Makes a conscious effort to spend enough time with you

He can be weaponized to kill bugs, shoo away birds, glare threateningly at strangers

Gently wrestles you for fun

Really enjoys it if you take care of him, like put hair oil in his hair, massage his shoulders, cream his hands etc.

Doesn't like spending a lot of time hanging around somewhere so he whines in your ear

"Are you going to be done soon?"

"We just got here. I need to buy a new shirt."

"You have plenty at home and they all look great on you. Let's just go eat. There's online shopping for a reason."

Gets jealous a lot but never gets angry at you and quickly lets it go

Mostly pouts and fusses if he thinks you're being too friendly with someone

Sometimes utilizes you as weights whilst working out

Like makes you lay on top of him when he's doing push-ups

Adores if you try to manhandle him only to then show you how it's really done by taking a hold of your legs and hoisting you around his waist

You have had a talk about whether he'd choose Namjoon over you and the results of that debate were relayed to Namjoon himself who just looks at you both with a frown that says "what the hell are both of you on"

Gets lowkey combative if you have bad habits that impact your health like smoking, too much drinking, or not eating regularly

Health to him is very important in spite of you pointing out the hypocrisy of it

As he often fails to take proper care of himself

But he tries so he wants you to try your best as well

Makes a secret tattoo about you

Like your favourite flower, or a favourite thing

Similar to how Namjoon immortalizes you in a way, but on his flesh

Sings around the house but is too shy to give you concerts

Sneaks you into the studio, however, for you to express your opinion

Sneaks you into a lot of places

Like an afterparty or a press conference

A member will see you and wonder out loud:

"I think I saw _____ walking by."

"You're just getting old, seeing things," Jungkook replies trying not to seem too guilty

You can absolutely tell if he has a surprise planned for you

"Jungkook, are you planning to bring me on a secret date?"

"0.0 no 0.0"

If you're mercilessly destroying him at a game, he threatens to cry

Would get upset at you for something he dreamt

Glares at you over coffee cup:

"You said you liked Yoongi better than me."

"In a dream you Dumbo," you roll your eyes. "I'm literally making you breakfast."

He answers with a vague hum, then turns up his nose, all offended:

"Said you liked his hip thrust more."

Wants to adopt more dogs, so you'll have someone to keep you company when he's on tour :( and so that they could protect you in case of home invasion or stalkers

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[eliotquillon]

META/DRABBLE REQUEST: did cameron ever tell chase -- or anyone -- about the house date. not even in a 'we're dating now and talking about it' way, just. in general.

you know how i sometimes say ‘this got away from me’. yeah i almost filed a missing person’s report for this one. can someone invent a child leash but for fics please. Anyway. this is set immediately post 2x11.

“If you’re here to lecture me for not getting my HIV test, I’m not interested,” Cameron says when she senses Chase coming up behind her in the parking lot. It’s no psychic vision that has her so sure it’s Chase—it’s just that she knows House’s three-point gait, and Foreman wouldn’t have the patience to get so close to her without calling out first. Ergo, Chase. “House swabbed me anyway. It was negative.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask,” Chase says wryly, proving her right on only one front, and Cameron winces a little before she spins to face him. Okay, she thinks—maybe she wasn’t as unbothered by the whole testing-saga as she’d been pretending to be. But, she thinks, Chase had been invested, too; she’d seen the surprise on his face when House revealed she’d missed her test date, and she’s been half-avoiding him ever since. Really, she ought to have been half-avoiding him ever since sleeping with him in the first place, but Cameron is trying to give herself points for effort. “Foreman sent me to come get you. We’re going for drinks. He said something about you losing him fifty bucks?”

Cameron doesn’t quite wince—her sympathy for Foreman is entirely limited; serves him right for betting on her personal life in the first place—but her face must do something, because Chase’s teasing smile softens a little. “Or you can just go home,” he offers. “I’ll tell Foreman I missed you in the parking lot.”

“Like he’d believe you,” Cameron says; knowing Foreman, he’s probably peeking out from the lobby windows, ready to rush out and convince her himself at the first sign of Chase’s failure. Not that it really matters—Cameron has never had much problem saying no to Foreman, wouldn’t capitulate to him even for Chase’s sake. But she opens her mouth to take Chase up on the offer, and hesitates. She kind of does want a drink. The thought of going straight back to her apartment—cold and empty with her negative test results clutched in hand—feels almost intolerable. Cameron doesn’t really get lonely, not anymore, but she does occasionally feel pathetic. It isn’t ever an emotion she enjoys. A drink with her coworkers, she thinks begrudgingly, might help ward it away. “Where are we going?”

Chase brightens. He expected her to take the out, she thinks—to keep avoiding him. “Bar on the corner,” he says. “Meet you there in ten.”

*

“You’re buying,” Foreman instructs her, ten minutes later; Cameron rolls her eyes. “Hey, it’s because of you I’m down fifty bucks.”

“Nobody told you to bet on my personal life,” Cameron says primly, but Foreman’s been decent to her, lately, has been getting along with her pretty well in a way she’d like to encourage, and she’s not in the mood to start a fight. Chase looks like he might protest when she lays down her credit card to start a tab, but Foreman shoves a beer in his direction and that shuts him up sharpish. “One drink. That’s it.”

It is not one drink.

Foreman leaves after the second round—begrudgingly, at that; he’s driving, and he looks vaguely wistful as he bids them goodbye while Chase pointedly nods at the bartender to get her attention for another drink. After the third round, they close out Cameron’s tab and open a new one on Chase’s card. After the fourth round, Cameron stops pretending she has any intention of switching to soda. After the fifth—

Okay, so Cameron is mildly tipsy.

“I forgot that beer gets me drunk,” she sighs. Chase laughs.

“Well, yeah,” he says around another swig. “What else would it do?”

“Wine makes me sad,” Cameron ticks off her fingers, “vodka makes me—talk, and cocktails make me annoyed. Beer just makes me drunk.”

“What about meth?” Chase teases, still smiling but a little tense—like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to joke about it yet. Normally, Cameron would concur: too close, too soon. Right now, though, she’s five drinks in and it’s snowing outside and everything feels warm and fuzzy and a little bit funny, giggle-funny and not weird-funny. She just flicks a beer tab at him, and shakes her head.

“Don’t start,” she warns, even as she feels herself smile. “You know, I wonder if House still has that rat.”

“The one from Stacy’s attic?” Chase furrows his brow, then shrugs. “Probably. Whether he’ll have it tomorrow…” he trails off languidly, and stares into the middle distance. Cameron frowns; the muscles take some encouragement to go in the direction she wants them to, because just a second ago she felt loose and happy, but something about Chase’s sudden switch to pensive trips off alarm bells in the back of her head. She’s drunk, sure, but she’s not that drunk.

“Tomorrow?” she presses, and Chase jumps.

“You know,” he starts, and then he looks at her properly—something he hasn’t really been doing, lately, not since the meth—and his mouth thins. “You don’t,” he says, and it’s not a question. “Shit. So that’s not why you were heading off early?”

“I was just thrown by the case,” Cameron says, the last vestiges of bubbly, carefree joy exiting her veins with every second Chase spends staring at her, aghast. “What is it? You can’t just say that and not tell me.”

Chase glances around surreptitiously—checking to see if any of PPTH’s other staff are here, Cameron realises—and leans in. This close, Cameron can smell him: his expensive woodsmoke cologne that screams I-chose-this-at-random-as-a-teenage-boy, the beer he’s been drinking, the salt from the bag of peanuts they shared back when they were still on drink number two. Cameron tries, distantly, to remember what Foreman smells like, or House, and can’t; she’s drunker than she thought. “Foreman went to Stacy’s office to ask her when he needs to renew his contract,” Chase says in a low undertone. “Her stuff was in boxes. She’s moving back to Short Hills.”

Well, shit. Scratch being drunk: Cameron certainly feels more sober than she did ten seconds ago.

“But I thought,” Cameron starts to say, not quite sure what she thought, and Chase nods.

“Told you House slept with her,” he says with relish. “Bet you anything she freaked and ended it. So much for him not sleeping with a married woman.”

Cameron ignores the jab—there’s no real heat to it, anyway; Chase just can’t help himself sometimes—and sinks lower into her chair. “What about her husband?” she asks. “You don’t think—“

“No way she told him,” Chase shakes his head. “Foreman agrees. You don’t go running back to your old life if you plan on wrecking it. You start fresh. Far away fresh. If she told him, they’d be moving to, I don’t know, Chicago, not two hours up the road.”

Cameron squints at him suspiciously. “You sure know an awful lot about what it’s like to cheat on someone.”

He’s offended by this, she thinks—can see it in the way his lips whiten and his left eyebrow twitches—but he covers it with a loud, false laugh, the kind he likes to hurl at Foreman whenever Foreman is trying and failing to get under his skin. It never fails to piss Foreman off; right now, it kind of pisses Cameron off, too. “I’ve never cheated,” Chase says. “Left that one to my dad. Besides, you need to be in a relationship to cheat on someone.”

The dad thing, Cameron decides, is probably a red herring—a ploy to make her uncomfortable and change the subject—but she isn’t interested in Chase’s daddy issues anyway. Well, she is, but it’s really his last sentence that gets her curious. “You’ve been in relationships before,” she says. “I know you have. Weren’t you dating that nurse in Paediatrics last year?” You can’t look the way you do, Cameron does not say, and not have been in a relationship.

Chase grimaces, and takes a long sip of his drink. “It was just casual,” he says. “I mean, I’ve dated. I date. I was seeing this one girl for a while when I was at uni. But nothing super serious.”

“Never made it past a year?” Cameron guesses; this would not surprise her. Chase grimaces again.

“Try six months,” he corrects sheepishly. When Cameron stares at him, his shoulders rise defensively to his ears. “I mean, obviously I don’t plan on going on like this forever. But it’s not like I’ve been looking for anything long term. It’d be stupid to try and balance a personal life around this job anyway.”

Chase renewed his contract six months ago; his protests hit all the right notes, but this fact alone makes them all ring hollow. She traces her fingertips absently along the surface of the drink-sticky tabletop, lets her eye catch on the space below her knuckle where her wedding band used to sit. In those early days, right after her husband’s death, she used to find herself foolishly, incandescently angry over tan lines, over the thought that she would never have one where her ring ought to be, that there would be no physical trace of him left on her. It isn’t the only reason why she begged him to preserve his sperm, but it is one of them. One of those things she thought she’d never get over, until she woke up one morning and her gaze didn’t linger on her left hand as soon as she hit her alarm anymore. “So, what,” Cameron says now, “you don’t think you can have it all? You’ve got to pick work or love?”

“I think everyone does,” Chase says. “Look at House. Look at you, even. You don’t date, either.”

“Bad examples,” Cameron says. She is drunk: it must be the only reason why she adds, “We went on a date together.”

As a rule, Cameron does not talk about her failed dinner with House. Does not encourage the subject. In a way, it’s a lot like the absence of her wedding ring: at first, the thought of it hurt her pride, and then the thought of that thought hurt her pride even more—because she was over it, or trying to be, and the idea that she wasn’t made her feel out-of-control in a way that Cameron has always despised—and then the hurt went away but the black-hole vacuum created by it stayed. Chase does not hide his double take; she can’t blame him. “Right, and we know how that went,” he says, except he doesn’t, because Cameron has never told anyone about it, not even her friends from outside work. “It doesn’t count.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Cameron insists, because she knows what Chase and Foreman and probably even Wilson and Cuddy all presumed: that House walked in, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and said nice try Cameron, find someone else to fix your dead-husband issues. The second part isn’t quite as inaccurate as the first, but the point stands: they’re wrong. It would have been easier, Cameron thinks, if they weren’t. If House really had walked in with zero intention of humouring her from the start, instead of only close to it. “He took it seriously. He brought me a corsage.”

“You’re joking,” Chase says, and then, “oh, God, you’re not. There’s no way you could make that up.”

“Yeah.”

“Jesus,” Chase says. “House was—into you? Like, actually into you?”

“I don’t know,” Cameron sighs. At the time, her answer had been: yes, obviously, him refusing to admit it doesn’t make it untrue. And then, when Stacy first showed up: no, never, he knows how to love people and I’m just not one of them. Now she thinks the truth probably lies somewhere in between. If she’d gotten to know Stacy a little better, maybe… “I told him he was. I quoted Freud.” That last part comes out as a groan.

“I always forget you have balls of steel,” Chase says. He’s grinning, but the admiration, Cameron thinks, is real; she’ll never admit it, but it kind of makes her feel better. “If I tried that, he’d fire me.”

“I think if you’re ever on a date with House, you have bigger problems than getting fired,” Cameron jokes weakly. It’s all so stupid, she thinks, except she’s remembering why she’s never talked about it now because suddenly it’s like she’s right back at that dinner table: she can feel herself flushing, red-white-pink with shame and fury, can feel her ears burning with the weight of her mother’s earrings. She thinks she understands why Stacy is moving back to Short Hills, business-as-usual. It’s the only option Cameron had, too. “But you’re right. He didn’t love it. Said that my feelings were fake, that I just—need people, I don’t really love them. Kind of hard to keep up with the small talk after that.”

The thing is, it’s fine. She’s over it. On the list of things Cameron has been dealing with this past year, it really doesn’t register anymore. It’s embarrassing, sure, but Cameron’s a big believer in the healing properties of time: six more months, and she’ll be able to joke about it. Probably. So she’s surprised when she glances over and Chase looks—not upset. But disturbed, almost. Chase is a terrible liar, at least when it comes to concealing emotions, but Cameron gets the more bizarre sense that he’s not even trying. “That wasn’t very fair of him to say,” he says, sounding quiet and serious, and a part of Cameron is touched, but a bigger part of her just wants to roll her eyes.

“Honestly, it’s—well, it’s not fine,” she admits, “but it happened. I’m over it. I’m not crying into my beer over it.” Not anymore, anyway, she thinks, but the mood has turned weird and heavy and she gets the sense it won’t land. “It’s for the best it didn’t work out, anyway. You saw how weird he got with Stacy.”

“Not a fan of rats?” Chase nudges her shoulder.

“Not a fan of infidelity,” Cameron corrects, “but not big on rats, either. You want dating advice? Girls like flowers.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Chase says wryly. The tips of ears are flushed pink; maybe, Cameron thinks, he’s a little tipsy too. “God, if Stacy’s leaving, work is gonna be hell tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Cameron declares. And not even just because of House, she realises; she’s having fun, with Chase, is having fun with him in a way that she’s missed these past few weeks. “Another drink?”

“Twist my arm, why don’t you,” Chase smirks. “Come on. Let’s do shots.”

[jacks347]

Thanks to the people in my comments and in my reblogs (I really do love y'all, continue spreading the gospel of overthinking my pretties >:3), I'm going to add something to my last post that I missed. I meant to talk about it but in my stream of consciousness typing, I forgot about it. What can I say, I'm human.

My main problem with the Milo vs Darlin situation is how it was handled with the rest of the pack. Now, Gabe was still Alpha when Milo and Sweetheart went on their little hunt which I will admit, I totally forgot about. I have to take several seconds to remember what day it is, you expect me to keep a timeline straight?

Anyway, do I believe Milo got a verbal lashing from Gabe about being an idiot. Oh absolutely. I have no doubt about that. But Milo never tells the rest of the pack about what happened. I guess it may not have been necessary but there was still a shade at an event the pack was working, it may have been nice to tell them that was the issue! Maybe Gabe did, we'll never know. But we know that Milo himself never tells them.

That's not what happens with Darlin. And that's where things get unfair.

David says "We're going to tell them together" meaning that he's making Darlin get up in front of everyone and explain the situation. Now I can't say I don't understand it. Darlin knows the situation a lot better than David, they have all the details, they know how Quinn acts. But they could've told David about the important details, they could've given him the information for him to relay. David could've handled telling the pack about Quinn that didn't blame Darlin.

Because Quinn's actions weren't Darlin's fault.

Darlin was forced to stand in front of everyone they'd known growing up and spill their mistakes and the consequences of it while still being pretty raw and vulnerable from getting out of an abusive relationship and was reprimanded by the only people they could still consider family.

And that's where I have a problem. I think David handled the situation wrong and I can't entirely blame him for it. We know David was and still is not entirely confident in his role as Alpha. He hasn't had to deal with big situations like this before and most likely acted just a little bit on emotion. He probably acted a little bit on anger or petty revenge for making him worry so much and I can't hold that against him. But it's not how he should've handled it.

It was unfair and cruel to Darlin. They shouldn't have been put in that situation. Did they deserve a bit of blame for not telling the pack that Quinn got away before they left for Washington? Yes. I'm not delusional, that was a stupid decision and they deserve what they get on that front. But everything else? No. The way Quinn reacted was not their fault and they didn't deserve to get lit into for it.

Okay I think that's everything else I needed to cover. As you can tell, this is one of those points I am deeply passionate about. But I'm gonna shut up now-

(All of this just from asking "Do you think Darlin holds a grudge against Milo for not getting treated like they did despite having the same situation?")

[setthishouseablaze]

Fortnight - post mortem

"Fortnight"

(feat. Post Malone)

"I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me

I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic

All of this to say, I hope you're okay, but you're the reason

And no one here's to blame, but what about your quiet treason?"

To be sent away is to be committed to the psych ward, or sent to jail. From the music video (MV) it seems that in this case it's a reference to an involuntary stay in the psych ward - she's chained up in a bed being made to take pills, however, asylums and prisons are a theme throughout the album as a whole.

In the opening scenes of the video she is dressed up to look like 1920s movie starlet Clara Bow (who is referenced directly as a song title later on the album.) Her hair is pinned up with an extreme number of upside down bobby-pins which on the right side of her head make the roman numeral for 13, and she is wearing a wedding gown.

Clara Bow is known to have engaged in lavender marriages while having secret affairs with women during her stardom. "dropping hairpins" is a piece of historical queer slang, meaning dropping hints that one is queer, and the inverse, having your hair pinned up means that you're pretending to be straight. Hair pins reference back to the lyrics of Right Where You Left Me "Dust collected on my pinned-up hair." I read this scene as "maximum closeting," by force.

The entire room is shown to be upside down and at an angle which reminds me of the classic Emily Dickinson poem "tell all the truth but tell it slant" Given Emily is a favorite poet of TS the Dickinson reference is likely intentional and it's fair to assume that there are red herrings and metaphors in abundance throughout this song and this album. Remember the 'redherring' error code on the website pre-release.

This song and video also reference A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, which tells the story of a person released from prison who has mental health issues due to being tortured during their prison stay, who is then taken by their family from Paris(!) to London (!!) Book 2 of A Tale of Two Cities is titled "The Golden Thread" which reminds me of Invisible String "one single thread of gold tied me to you," and in the second book we're told the tale of how the golden haired daughter provides financially for her family in addition to repairing and maintaining their good reputation. A Tale of Two Cities feels oh so very appropriate as a touchstone for listening to this album.

"I was a functioning alcoholic" is this metaphorical, literal, or both? Other mentions of use and abuse of drugs and alcohol in her discography include Closure "I'm fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles" Clean "Ten months sober" and Don't Blame Me "My drug is my baby I'll be using for the rest of my life" I think in this case I think it might be both metaphorical and literal. The loss of her love drove her to drink, but also, she was addicted to her illicit love and maybe got away with it until others noticed-?

"All of this to say, I hope you're okay, but you're the reason. And no one here's to blame, but what about your quiet treason?" reminds me again of the song Closure "It wasn't right the way it all went down looks like you know that now. Yes, I got your letter, Yes, I'm doing better. I don't need your closure" It's just as direct, but less aggressive in tone. She hopes her muse is well but they are the reason that she is where she is.

"And for a fortnight there, we were forever

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors

Your wife waters flowers

I wanna kill her"

A fortnight is two weeks, though, it may be a metaphorical stand-in here just meaning that for awhile it seemed like they were going to be together forever, but now they are acquaintances who make small talk.

"Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors" reminds me of the ever so quotable line "Good Fences Make Good Neighbours" from Robert Frost's poem Mending Wall, the irony of the poem is that while setting clear boundaries with a wall prevents petty disputes over property lines the constant need to maintain the wall they've built brings the neighbours together to talk. The line is often quoted by people who've never read the poem without heed for the irony. As a reference here it seems very sarcastic - we're good neighbours look how polite and appropriate we are with our boundaries set in stone.

There are many references to gardens and flowers in the TS back catalogue but for me this in particular recalls the lyrics from Clean "The drought was the very worst. When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst." and this line translates to me as I hate your partner because they're growing a relationship/family with you, whereas ours is dead.

The MV shows TS wiping her face to reveal tattoos that almost match those of Post Malone who plays the part of love interest in the MV. The differences are the addition of two tattoos that spell out DDP, an extra heart, and a change from a playboy bunny to what looks like a diamond. The tattoos seem to have been covered with make-up while she was chained up in the asylum, and they disappear as soon as she steps out into the other room - only to reappear onto the face of Post Malone. I don't have any theories about what DDP stands for I would love to hear other peoples. Seeing TS with secret tattoos reminds me of Dress, "made your mark on me a golden tattoo." another song about secret love.

"All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February

I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary"

Mondays being the most notoriously hated day of the week because it's the start of the work week for many people, and Feb being post-celebration winter in the northern hemisphere, I read this as - all I do is work I'm stuck in a bleak winter that won't end. I've tried every option available to get over you but it didn't work.

When she enters the writers room she's wearing a mourning dress, which could lend another layer i.e. all my mournings are mondays i.e. all of my break-ups are work/business.

The whole video is in black and white except for the sparks that fly off the pages into the air between their desks, and the fire once she sets things ablaze.

"And I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you

But I touched you"

This is pretty direct but in context I read it as - I'm still in love with you, I feel stuck, I can't move on and my public image won't let me let you in, we may have only been together for a short time but we were together and I can't/won't forget it.

In the MV there are an endless array of masked figures also in black mourning attire, all with masks and hats sitting at identical desks disappearing into the horizon. Are these the other tortured poets from history, made to mask and hide behind their typewriters in a black and white world?

"And for a fortnight there, we were forever

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors

Your wife waters flowers

I wanna kill her

And for a fortnight there, we were together

Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater

Now you're at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors

My husband is cheating

I wanna kill him"

"My husband is cheating I wanna kill him" This could be literal cheating, however, she is not literally married so maybe that's a hint - maybe he's violating the terms of a contract? After all she's probably not in love with him since she's pining so badly after the muse of this song-? So, why would she still want to murder him? Maybe they were supposed to get lavender-married but he cancelled the wedding and now everything is in upheaval?

She is laying on the ground with PM in the middle of an image of herself made up of pages reading from "The Story of US" book, "So many things that I wish you knew. So many walls up, I can't break through" they seem to be stuck there and then they break free, pages flying in the air, and hold each other laughing. The tattoos are now gone from both faces.

"I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you

I touched you

I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you

I touched you"

In the MV she's back in the asylum now, hair undone/pins gone, strapped to a table surrounded by men about to have electro convulsive therapy (ECT) administered, a black dog runs through the frame. The ECG read-out is showing "I love you it's ruining my life" in the read out of her heart beat. One of the panels in the background reads "Master Control." In literature The Black Dog represents depression.

So, when her hair is unpinned she wants to be publicly out as in love with a woman, and the men who surround her and control her and her music deem it inappropriate, they want to 'fix' her. But, when the ECT runs sparks fly, the machinery overloads, she screams, and PM runs over to release her from the table.

"Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up

Another fortnight lost in America

Move to Florida, buy the car you want

But it won't start up till you touch, touch, touch me"

"Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up. Another fortnight lost in America" You won't answer my calls so we've lost another fortnight of our lives to the American culture wars - reminds me of Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince and Paris, which are also songs about running away.

They are now outside in a raging storm stuck on top of a mountain with treacherously steep sides, TS sits atop a phone box in a dress that looks like chain-mail, while PM is inside the box making a call begging..

"Move to Florida, buy the car you want but it won't start up till you touch, touch, touch me." TS has said in interview that moving to Florida in this album is a reference to people running away from their mistakes and starting fresh. She's telling the muse to ditch their partner and runaway with her, this ties back to Getaway Car which opens with "It was the best of times, the worst of crimes" which is a direct reference to A Tale of Two Cities which opens "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way".

"Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up

Another fortnight lost in America

Move to Florida, buy the car you want

But it won't start up till I touch, touch, touch you"

TS is back in the writers room, tearing open the draws, letting the pages fly into the air, crying, then stone faced in her mourning dress while the pages swirl around her burning. It reminds me of Dear Reader "Dear reader, burn all the files desert all your past lives" The version of her in the asylum smashes down the window.

And finally the version of TS on top of the phone box reaches down and holds hands with PM. She's created imagery of herself stuck inside cages, boxes, glass boxes, etc over and over through the years and this is the first time we've seen her outside and making contact with another human.

Conclusion: our protagonist has been held by force in the image of a virginal heterosexual bride, going slowly insane while she pretends that the woman she truly loves is just a friend, and she's now completely fed up and her bearding situation has gone to hell, she's asking her love to runaway with her and she's willing to metaphorically set fire to her history/her body of work to be with the one she loves.

[dumplingsjinson]

Okay. So. Um.

YEAH.

IDK. FUCK. WHAT IN THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED? I'm apparently not single anymore.

Let's just get on with it-

First stop: Photobooth. Nothing much happened here. (Gonna post the photo on my Insta story; asked him for his permission and he was like "That's fine.")

Second stop: Shopping centre. This was where things got a little interesting. We visited the Lego store his friend works at. Cat guy introduced me to his friend and him to me, and they started talking... And then his friend mentioned the BLACKPINK concert and how he missed it and that piqued my interest, and we started talking about the concert and everything, and then we go on talking about the TWICE concert as well. We were hitting it off quite well lolol. During all of that, cat guy was standing there like "Hello? Wtf?", all left out and shit (I feel so bad for that, but I was so excited to meet another BLACKPINK fan at the time kwjfewf.) Anyway, at one point, cat guy was like, "Okay, we're leaving. We'll come back soon."

(Spoiler: we don't go back. LMFAO.) We go to get lunch, walk around the shopping centre a bit... Then head straight to the car park. Thing is, the Lego shop was in like... Plain sight. I was waiting for him to take us back there, but he ignored it and we go to his car instead. I brought it up with him (once we were on the road), being all like, "Oh, weren't we supposed to go back for your friend at the Lego store?" and he was all like, "Oh, I forgot about that. We can go back next time".

SOOOOOOOOOO.

Me thinks someone's JEALOUS LKFNENWKF, but I could be wrong. Idk. I'm bad at reading signs. But he did seem a bit miffed when I was talking so animatedly to his friend about the concerts, sooo... Yeah.

We go back to his home.

(BTW, FINALLY MET HIS CAT. Mission accomplished!! And oh my God, she's the CUTEST THING EVER. She's so much smaller than I thought she would be and looked so soft and SFLKNWEKLFN I think I like his cat more than him AHAHAHA. (That's a joke btw, please don't cancel me-))

Stayed in his living room for a bit, then went up to his room to cuddle... And I'm there like, "Oh God. Do I talk to him now? Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I'll chicken out." My heart was beating out of my chest, and I started getting in my head again, and he was asking me if everything was okay because I was moving around a lot (I was stressed tf out lmfao) so I was like "Okay fuck it, we need to talk to him whether we want to or not" so I'm like, "So... There is something I wanna talk about with you."

And... The talk happened. I asked him where his head's at; where he sees this going. I told him I liked how things are progressing, and I wanna see how things continue to go with us. I told him I didn't want to rush things, though, and that I wanted to take it slow (mainly because I didn't want to put pressure on him, since I didn't know if he wanted more when I was asking those questions). And amidst all of that, I... End up confessing to him.

Straight up out here being like "I... Really like you. I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much before." Spilling my guts out and baring my soul to him while hiding my face in his pillow and tacking on an "I'm so fucking embarrassed" at the end of my longwinded gut spilling session, while he was laughing and shit lweknflkewnf.

And God. At one point during the talk, he was like "I thought we were way past this point a long time ago" or some shit like that, and now I'm like... So he had the belief we've been a thing for quite a while I was here stressing the fuck out? Granted, he did update his Hinge profile, which lead us to having this talk a lot sooner than I thought we would in the first place, but at the same time, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for that one. Maybe he wanted to look for friends, and I'm solely basing that on one of the components of his Hinge profile, which I will not be showing lol. I didn't want to bring that up and look like I'm overanalysing everything, so I'm putting that past me lol. Done stressing about it.

(I paused all of my accounts when we parted and will probably casually tell him about it when we meet up next lol.)

Anyway, after that mfing mess of a confession, we cuddled some more. And then I was like... "Wait, so what are we?" because I'll be honest, I was still confused where we were at and wanted to clarify if we were exclusive (I didn't want to overthink it again and wanted clear answers), and he was straight up like:

"We're officially dating."

SO YEAH. AAHAHHAHAHHA.

Literally went from "I don't wanna rush into things and want to take things slow and see where this goes" to "We're together now, you dense piece of turd" in like less than 10 fucking minutes.

We cuddled even more, I'm telling him how much I like him, and he told me he likes me, too... And then it led into me being all vulnerable and shit (disgusting, right? How dare I-) and basically apologising to him for not messaging him a lot these days. I told him that I get really in my head when I like someone, and I feel like if I message them too much, I'm gonna annoy them. I told him I want to update him on trivial shit. I want to tell him things. But I end up holding myself back because I don't want to be overbearing. I told him I end up overthinking things and that leads me to not sending anything. I told him, "I don't want you thinking I'm uninterested, because I am. I like you a lot. Like fuck, I think about you a bit too much sometimes, you know?"

SO YEAH. JESUS. I think I deserve a medal for this courage lmao.

He ended up reassuring me and was like, "You can message me any time. Tell me about your day. I like when you do that, and I'll message you back when I can." (He reassured me again later on during the date, telling me how I can message him whenever, so that was really sweet of him.) So yeah... I promised him I'd spam him with Instagram reels, and also warned him about how I talk a lot over text, that's how I'm like with my friend, he's got a huge storm coming, and he was like, "And that's fine."

At one point, his sister's corgi (also the cutest thing ever) came into the room and came straight for me HAHA (I asked him if the corgi ever came into his room before and he was like "It's the first time this has happened" so I'm pretty sure it's because my monthly visitor was here and the corgi sensed that, which was why it came to me and didn't seem to want to leave me alone for at least 15-20 minutes. I read somewhere that's what cat and dogs do). It also peed on the floor so uh... Rip his carpet. 💀

Anyway, the corgi finally leaves, we get more cuddles in.

And UH. I guess it got a little steamy here? He was like... Kissing my neck and everything (prior to this, he was kissing my face and stroking my hair and all of the stuff he did during the last date) and AHAHAHA, when he stopped, I was all like "I like it when you kiss my neck" and this man... This man.

He took that as a sign (as he should) and kissed my neck even more, to the point where I thought he'd leave marks on my skin lmfao. Pulled the collar of my shirt back (I wasn't even wearing a turtle neck sweater this time so he was going DEEP lmao) AND AHAHA, when I say I was encouraging this behaviour by making all of these sweet little noises. I was sighing and moaning a little AND HE WAS TURNED ON BY THAT, LET ME TELL YOU THAT MUCH. (If him sporting something down there wasn't a sign-)

I was also holding onto the nape of his neck and everything; running my fingers through his hair; pulling him closer to me and tilting my head back for easier access and just letting whatever noise I wanted to make naturally fall out of my mouth and yeah... That definitely spurred him on. Had him all pressed up against me lmao.

(Fanfics have me LEARNING things.)

Tbh, I was lowkey worried he'd leave a mark there since he was just... Yeah, but he didn't so thank God. (But also, a part of me lowkey kinda wanted him to though ngl WELKFNEWKLNF, even though I'd have to hide it from my parents somehow lmao.

And well yeah, he was just being very affectionate like the last time, and held me so close to him and kept calling me cute (literally would not stop and I'd deny it and he'd be like "no, you're cute") and sweet and soft and saying I smelled good and wionlkwnef AHHHH I'M GONNA SCREAM. We kissed (cute lil pecks, just how I fucking love it) and all o' that.

We're about to leave for dinner, the corgi is circling me again and his dad had to step in and take the corgi before it left the house with me, because it kept following me around lmaooo. Kept sniffing my shoe and was preventing me from putting it on, so I was struggling for a hot minute, while cat guy just watched me struggle lmfao.

After dinner, I'm thinking we'd go back to his place (that was the plan) but his friend called and was like "Please come to the concert, we have a free ticket because our other friend couldn't make it" (that friend had called him about the concert before we went out for dinner and cat guy declined at first lol) so we ended up having to cut the date short so he could go to the concert because his friend really wanted him to go. He dropped me off and I hugged and kissed him before leaving BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WHO ARE OFFICIALLY DATING DO, RIGHT?? WELKENEKLWFN.

IDK YOU TELL ME, DAMN.

So yeah. When I got on the train, he informed me that his friend's brother took his phone and said brother couldn't find his friend. That friend had his ticket, so he needed to come out to take cat guy into the venue... And he never came out (and apparently never replied to cat guy until after the concert) so that was a bit shitty. Cat guy ended up leaving after standing around outside, waiting for his friend.

So the date was cut short because of this guy, and I was lowkey saurrr disappointed because I though I could spend at least a few more hours with him before going home :((

SO YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK, MATE??

But yeah, basically that's what happened. And while driving me to the station to drop me off, he asked me when I was free next so... We'll be seeing each other pretty soon (in a little bit over a week or so?) so that makes up for it AHAH.

He messaged me and was like "We could've hung out a little bit longer :///" and "This entire thing made me so frustrated on the drive back home" welkfnewknf My poor guy :((((

So uhHHH, your girl is Taken, or some shit like that, idfk. At least I think I am HAHAHAHA, completely skipped the exclusive stage and went straight to "officially dating".

I'll probably stop with the updates lol, unless something significant happens. I'll probably make more prompts, too, but right now I need to sleep lmfao. SAUR TIRED.

(I already miss him and maybe I'll find the courage to tell him that later on, but right now... Nope. Lmfao.)

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

OKAY PERCY JACKSON SERIES THOUGHTS REAL QUICK not in any particular order just what my brain is spewing

(spoilers obviously)

okay so like. it was so good. screaming crying throwing up like!!!!

walker leah and aryan are all excellent and i'm so excited to see them throughout the rest of the show

special shoutout to leah because in these first two eps she's had a lot less screentime than the other two and yet she has completely stolen the show for me

forgot that jason mantzoukas is in this and got jumpscared lmao

the car and then minotaur scenes would have been really good if i had been able to see them

i feel like i was expecting luke's scar to be bigger. this isn't a complaint or anything, just an observation.

"NO I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" slayed so hard like i screameddd

percy praying to his mum <3333 there's one thing percy jackson will do and that is think of his mum as a goddess

also HIM BURNING THE JELLYBEANS 😭😭😭

also also him telling his mum that he really feels like he's made friends when you know he's talking about luke is TRAGIC oh no the final episode is going to be sooo good and so heartbreaking. oof.

i really REALLY liked virginia kull as sally, but a lot of the dialogue in her scenes felt a bit clunky to me. idk i know they need exposition and all that, but some of it felt a bit weird. especially their conversation right before she was killed

okay i know a few people in the tag have already talked about this, but sally and gabe felt a little off to me. i know the posts i've seen have said that they downplayed how completely and utterly awful gabe is, and while i do think it was downplayed a little bit, he was still bad enough that i didn't feel like that was a major issue. the part that didn't feel quite right to me was the way sally argued back at him. i feel like what she says to him is kind of what the audience should WANT her to say (because gabe's a dick), but the point is that she doesn't say that, because sally jackson loves percy so damn much that she willingly endures that until she is able to get out of that situation. i swear i'm not going to be like "tHiS iSnT hOw iT iS iN tHe bOoK" much, because it's an adaptation and it's going to have to make some changes and that's fine! but in the book, percy states that he's "never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or gabe" and keeps on emphasising how she constantly withstands gabe and doesn't move against him because of her love for percy, and i just feel like that's an important aspect of her character. also i feel like sally arguing back at gabe is going to make her finally killing him less impactful. and i think it probably also plays a part in gabe's assholery being downplayed. because the argument they have there feels much more like "oh we're so dysfunctional ha ha" instead of "this is an abusive household". you know what i mean? idk i get that it was meant to be a #girlboss moment, and a part of me was like "YEAH GET HIS ASS", but i do feel like that moment didn't serve sally's character as well, changed the dynamic of sally and gabe's relationship, and negatively affected the impact the story will have when percy gives her the means to get rid of gabe and she takes it. this is a very long dot point i'm sorry.

mr d pretending to be percy's dad was SO FUNNY

clarisse is too pretty (/pos), like i was barely paying attention in her scenes because i was literally there like "women <3" thank you dior goodjohn

"you fell in love with god... like jesus?" is a top tier line

i'm so sorry but i'm a "tah-lia" pronunciation truther and it will remain this way in my head

the cut to percy flossing in the woods killed me. like straight up killed me dead.

BLACKJACK BEING THE FIRST MAGICAL THING PERCY SEES!!! THEY'RE GOING TO BE BESTIES!!!

these are all of the thoughts i have atm, and despite my more negative thoughts here, my feelings are almost completely positive (my excitement is less coherent than my criticisms, so i didn't write about them as much). i'm really excited to see the rest of the episodes!

[gemapples]

Rant away my friend

apparently a few people wanted me to vent about the kirby novels so head in hands ig i'm gonna go for it LMAO (this is inspired directly from @desultory-novice 's posts about it)

ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS IS SO DISORGANIZED gonna be honest i forgot a good half of what i wanted to talk about. But Anyways. please note that all of this is entirely My opinion you ofc dont need to agree and despite everything i actually really love and enjoy the kirby novels a lot !!

so okay after hearing her talk about the reason we're likely not getting a magolor epilogue novel and knowing takase's erm.... Infamous reputation regarding how she handles magolor's character that had me thinking a lot and. Wow i'm kind of Really nervous for how this magoland novel will turn out actually because a lot is kind of at stake here when you think about it

takase will either be forced to actually develop magolor's character, or she will just completely scrap everything that happened earlier, remove any mentions of the epilogue and go straight back to square 1 where magolor is -- once again -- the villain of the story. Don't get me wrong i like evil magolor a lot lol i think if done right it can be a very enjoyable portrayal of his character. but there's only So many times you can make a character the antagonist before it just gets straight up exhausting y'know

i think it's ESPECIALLY different in terms of magoland. This might be a cold take idk lmao but merry magoland isn't just some wacky little theme park magolor created out of the blue for no reason. It's something that signifies and sets in stone how he's a changed character. Merry magoland is magolor's dream he's had for a really long time by his own words and truly shows that all he's wanted to do is make people have fun and be happy. if you make him the antagonist in that, that completely just fucks up Everything relating to his character and renders that entire development null and also invalidates all the hardships he's gone through to make that happen

i do think takase's portrayal of magolor is fun! i do enjoy it and i do appreciate how he has a hard time communicating his desires and showing true friendship. i think that's important. one of magolor's most significant flaws is how he has a hard time understanding how friendship is supposed to work and what to do when you have friends. but maybe instead of making him the villain. Over and over and over again you could idk... have him Learn?? and actually Develop from his issues??? i know waddle dee is a completely separate character but for the sake of comparing to another person who has gone through a huge amount of development in the novels -- why can't magolor do the same? why is it constantly so insistent that he be the one causing all the problems for no reason other than haha it's funny (in most cases at least. i know dreamy gear was different and i will give it a giant shoutout for that)

i'm so sorry if i sound too harsh here i literally don't know how to word it otherwise lol i think it's important to emphasize that despite everything i do like seeing magolor's character in the novels. but it just gets to a point where it's Grating to me at times and depending on the scenario is just completely inaccurate. that's why i think magoland is such a huge point for us here with a lot on the line -- if she chooses to not make magolor the antagonist and make it accurate to the game's actions and desires, that will be an essential key for his development and showcase that we're actually making progress with his character. but if she chooses to make him the antagonist again, the potential for him being something more than a villain -- which is RIGHT there -- is completely wiped

afaik magolor and kirby's friendship was also mentioned and i just want to throw out there. merry magoland happened because of kirby. merry magoland happened because of magolor's friends. kirby, meta knight, dedede and bandee are the reason merry magoland exists. so if takase chooses to not acknowledge any mention of that and make magolor go against them all, that also erases the potential of magolor's relationship with other characters as well yknow... the characters he's gone against for this whole time? it also makes no sense whatsoever??

so yeah this is a bit long but there's just a lot to either look forward to or dread about this novel -- or even both lmao -- the more i thought about it. i want to have a decent amount of hope that i could be wrong here, maybe takase will take advantage of what she has to work with game wise and create something truly special. but throughout all of magolor's appearances in the novels... *hand on mirror* it seems like all of his character is constantly scrapped in favor of treating him like some apathetic irredeemable character with no regard for others or understanding friendship. so that's kind of a hard pill to swallow

[ofaflower]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 - 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐓

The following are lyric based starters from Taylor Swift's eleventh studio album, The Tortured Poets Department (Standard Version). Mature subjects implied within, so please use with caution. Feel free to change pronoun usage as needed. Minor edits may appear to sound more natural for dialogue. Link to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘.

FORTNIGHT (FT. POST MALONE)

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me

i was a functioning alcoholic

nobody noticed my new aesthetic

all of this to say, i hope you're okay

you're the reason

no one here's to blame

what about your quiet treason?

we were forever

your wife waters flowers

i wanna kill her

i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i love you, it's ruining my life

my husband is cheating, i wanna kill him

it won't start up

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

you left your typewriter at my apartment

straight from the tortured poets department

who uses typewriters anyway?

you're in self sabotage mode

i've seen this episode, still i love the show

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

you're not dylan thomas, i'm not patti smith

this ain't the chelsea hotel

we're modern idiots

nobody, no fucking body

i chose this cyclone with you

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me

you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave

i felt seen

everyone we know understands why we're meant to be - cause we're crazy

you took my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on - and that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

oh, here we go again...

the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild

you should've seen him when he first got me

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

i'm queen of sandcastles he destroys

i should've known it was a matter of time

there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time

i know i'm just repeating myself

he runs because he loves me

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me

just say when, i'd play again

you were my best friend

you told me i'm better off, but i'm not

DOWN BAD

did you really beam me up, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?

you told me i was the chosen one

you showed me this world was bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from

for a moment, i new cosmic love

fuck it if i can't have him

i might just die, it would make no difference

come back and pick me up

fuck it if i can't have us

i might just not get up, i might stay down bad

did you take all my old clothes?

my same old town, somehow feels so hollow now

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you

for a moment i was heaven struck

i loved your hostile takeovers

how can you say that it's over?

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

fuck it, i was in love

fuck you if i can't have us

SO LONG, LONDON

so long, london

i saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

i pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

i stopped trying to make you laugh

how much sad did you think i had in me?

oh, the tragedy

you'll find someone

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out

i founded the club you've heard great things about

i left all i knew, then you left me at the house by the heath

i stopped cpr, after all it's no use

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

i'll find someone

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it with my white knuckle iron grip holding tight to your quiet resentment

it isn't right to be scared everyday of a love affair

every breath feels like rarest air when you're unsure if he wants to be there

just how long did you think i'd go before i self-implode and have to go free?

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the alter waiting

you sacrificed us to the blue of your darkest days

i'm just getting colour back into my face

i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for so long

we had a good run

a moment of sun

i'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

i forget how the west was won

i forget if this was ever fun

i just learned these people only raise you to cage you

what a mess

these people try and "save you", cause they hate you

they slammed the door on my whole world and the one thing i wanted

but daddy i love him

i'm having his baby - no i'm not, but you should see your faces

i'm having his baby

floor it through the fences

no, i'm not "coming to my senses"

i know he's crazy but he's the one i want

all my plans were laid

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

stay away from her

i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

let me tell you about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace

i dont' cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing

god save the most judgmental creeps

you ain't gotta pray for me

fuck 'em - it's over

time, doesn't it give some perspective?

no, you can't come to the wedding

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

now pretty baby, i'm running back home to you

fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to

he don't understand me

you were with me in dreams

it's gonna be alright, i did my time

i was handcuffed to the spell i was under

now i know better and i'll never lose my baby again

all those nights, you kept me going

you weaved me into all of your poems

no matter what i've done - it wouldn't matter away

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake here

FLORIDA!!! (FEAT. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE)

you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too

they said i was cheat, so i guess it must be true

my friends all smell like weed or little babies

the city reeks of driving myself crazy

little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in

packed my life away just stay in a timeshare down in destin, florida

florida is one hell of a drug

florida will use you up

i got drunk and dared it wash me away

me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time

yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine

all of my girls have got their lace and their crimes

your cheating husband disappeared?

well, no one asks any questions here

i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that'd ever been on my body where in my mind they sink into the swamp

is that a bad thing to say in a song?

i need to forget

take me to florida

i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable

at least the dolls were beautiful

fuck me up, florida

GUILTY AS SIN?

he sent me "downtown lights", i hadn't heard it in a while

my boredom's bone deep

this cage was once just fine

am i allowed to cry?

i dream of cracking locks and throwing my life to the wolves - or the ocean rocks

i'm seeing visions

am i bad or mad or wise?

what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

oh, what a way to die

i keep recalling things we never did

how i long for our tryst

without ever touching your skin, how can i be guilty as sin?

i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault

someone told me: there's no such thing as bad thoughts - only your actions talk

we've already done it in my head

if it's make believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

my bedsheets were ablaze, i screamed your name

what if i roll the stone away?

they're gonna crucify me anyway?

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

if long suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so suddenly

i choose you and me, religiously

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

the who's who of "who's that?" - is poised for the attack

my bare hands paved their path

you don't get to tell me about sad

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said

nothing makes me feel more alive

she'll leap from the gallows and levitate down our street

who's afraid of little old me?

the scandal was contained

the bullet had just grazed

at all costs, keep your good name

you don't get to tell me you feel bad

is it a wonder i broke? let's hear one more joke then we can all just laugh until i cry

i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean

don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth

who's afraid of little old me? you should be

so tell me everything is not about me - but what if it is?

they say they didn't do it to hurt me - but what if they did?

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

all your kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all say?

i'll sue you if you step on my lawn

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong

i put narcotics into all of my songs, that's why you're still singing along

you lured me, you caged me, and you taught me

you caged me then called me crazy

i am what i am cause you trained me

who's afraid of me?

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY, I CAN)

the jokes he told across the bar were revolting and way too loud

god help her

he's my man

but your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger

i can i fix him, no really - i can

the dopamine raced through his brain on a six-lane texas highway

i could see it from a mile away

you're a perfect case for my certain skill set

he had a halo of the highest grade

he just hadn't met me yet

i can fix him

only i can

good boy, that's right - come close

i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man

whoa, maybe i can't...

loml

who's gonna stop us from falling back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?

we embroidered memories of my time away, stitching "we were just kids babe"

i don't mind, it takes time

thought that i was better safe than starry-eyed

i felt aglow like this - never before and never since

if you know it in one glimpses, it's legendary

you and i went from one kiss to getting married

you low down boy, you stand up guy

you told me i'm the love of your life about a million times

who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate, saying i had reformed you?

your impressionist paintings of us turned out to be fakes

well, you dragged me to hell too

a con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme

i felt a hole, like this - never before and ever since

what we thought was for all time, was temporary

mister "steal your girl, and make her cry"

you said i'm the love of your life

you shit talked me under tables, talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all

are they second-hand embarrassed?

i can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead

it was legendary

it was momentary

it was unnecessary

should've let us stay buried

what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

the coward claimed he was a lion

i'll never leave

never mind

i'll still see it til i die

you're the loss of my life

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

i can read your mind

she's having the time of her life

in her glittering prime the light refracts sequin stars off her silhouette every night

i can show you lies

i'm a real tough kid

i can handle my shit

they said "fake it til you make it", and i did

lights, camera, bitch, smile - even when you wanna die

he said he'd love me all his life - but that life was quite short

all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more

i can do it with a broken heart

i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday everyday

i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague

i cry alot, but i am so productive - it's an art

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart

i can hold my breath, i've been doing it since you left

i'm sure i can pass this test

he said he'd love me for all time but that time was quite short

i'm miserable and nobody even knows!

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

was any of it true?

gazing at me starry-eyed in your jehovah's witness suit, who the fuck was that guy?

he tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine

they just ghosted you, now you know what it feels like

i don't even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal?

i don't miss what we had but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

you hung me on your wall, stacked me with your push pins where in public you showed me off - then sank to stoned oblivion

once your queen had come, you treat her like an also-ran

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you writing a book?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in fifty years, will all this be declassified and you'll confess why you did it

good riddance

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden

i would have died for your sins, instead i just died inside

you deserve prison but you won't get time

you'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

you crashed my party and your rental car

you said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by the morning

in plain sight you hid

you are what you did

i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

THE ALCHEMY

this happens once every few lifetimes

what if i told you i'm back?

the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that i ever had

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm coming back so strong

so when i touch down, call the amateurs and cut them from the team

ditch the clowns, get the crown

baby, i'm the one to beat

the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me

honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

hey you, what if i told you we're cool? that child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule

i'm making a comeback to where i belong

these blokes warm the benches

we've been on a winning streak

he jokes that it's "heroin", but this time with an "E"

there's no chance try to beat the greatest in the league?

where's the trophy?

CLARA BOW

you look like clara bow in this light, remarkable

all your life, did you know you'd be picked, like a rose?

i'm not trying to exaggerate - but i think i might die if it happened to me

no one in my small town thought i'd see the lights of manhattan

this town is fake, but you're the real thing

a breath of fresh air through smoke rings

take the glory

give everything

promise to be dazzling

you look like stevie nicks in '75, the hair and lips

the crowd goes wild at your fingertips

i think i might if i made it

no one in my small town thought i'd meet these suits in L.A.

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more

only when your girlish glow flickers just so, do they let you know

it's hell on earth to be heavenly

them's the breaks they don't come gently

you look like taylor swift in this light, we're loving it

you've got edge, she never did

the future's bright

dazzling

[trinitycove]

Appreciation post for my bf. But first I must give context involving my shitty, financially abusive, violent, drug-dealing, coke-addicted ex.

It has been a few years since I last had to go to hospital for it. And the last time I was here for DKA I was with a then-boyfriend now ex. He was mad at me about something so at first he refused to drive me to the hospital. Then when we finally did go the car broke down and we had to call an ambulance and of course he made that out to be my fault.

He didn't stay with me while I was in emerge, triage, or the short-term stay room let alone when I was admitted to a room upstairs. I was so sad and alone and my only company was this sweet elderly woman in the bed next to me who would check on me periodically. The nurses were kind as usual.

My friends told me to leave him, but I didn't listen because I foolishly believed things could get better, I could fix him, he would come around eventually. It wasn't until I started making friendships with women outside of his circle that I saw what I really deserved and how I wasn't getting anything I wanted.

As for my boyfriend today, this was his first time experiencing my DKA with me. As soon as I let him know I threw up, he came straight home from helping his dad out with something. He stayed by my side and monitored my vomiting. Once I couldn't keep water down (third puke) he said "babe, we're going to the hospital."

It felt so nice for someone else to take control while I felt so miserable and sick. To be able to let go. I'm often the one in charge, keeping track of what's been done and what needs to be done, and taking care of others.

He even made sure there was a bucket to bring with us in the car (I was dry heaving at this point) and he helped me pack a bag because I started doing it before he noticed. He didn't know DKA usually means an overnight stay or longer.

While I was in triage and then put into a temporary room he held onto my overnight bag and purse and asked around to find me. He then showed up and out of concern let me know I was very pale and shaking. I kind of snapped (high sugars make emotional regulation very difficult and often cause irritability) and told him to stop pointing things out it was making it worse. Because I have anxiety and PTSD the more I hear about my symptoms the worse they get, psychosomatic kind of thing. He did not get upset, he just took note and stopped making comments, moving on to another topic to try and distract me. I could barely talk, but it was nice to have the company and hear him talking.

What I found really helpful was when he came back after he had to leave for visiting hours just to bring me a warm blanket. The IV is usually cold and the basement of this hospital has a lot of AC. He then stayed up late on a work night just to make sure I was feeling better even a little bit. Which I was.

Today he came by unexpectedly and brought me a bottle of water and my toothbrush/toothpaste since we had forgotten to pack those items. He forgot my Tim's tea, but it was actually okay because when my meal came there was a tea with it.

I feel so cared and loved for. I am so happy I don't have to beg for him to care for me while I'm sick. I take care of him when he is sick and now that I know he does the same, it makes me really happy.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay I know I literally reblogged this again yesterday for northern hemisphere summer coming back around, but people are already being clowns, so let me just clarify here:

I don't give a fuck about your sunburn. If you want to talk about sunburns, do it on a different post.

I'm sure it's very uncomfortable, and that's rough for you, but all of you that can get sunburns? You don't need this PSA. You already know to wear sunscreen, because if you don't, you experience immediate, painful consequences.

But some people have skin that's basically immune to sunburn. The majority of these people have darker skin, but not always; I'm white, and the only time I've managed to get a sunburn was from six straight hours in full summer sun, wearing a swimsuit, with no sunscreen. I got a very light burn on my shoulders. That's it.

So when sunscreen is only talked about as being a way to protect against sunburn, guess what happens to people like us?

We don't bother wearing it, because clearly, we just don't need it.

Except we do need to wear sunscreen, because sunburn is not the real problem. The real problem is that when we all don't bother with sunscreen, we're completely unprotected from UV radiation. And we don't learn we made a mistake when we have to deal with a sunburn the next day. We only learn that we made a terrible mistake when we're diagnosed with skin cancer a few decades down the line.

And again, the majority of people who don't get sunburn are dark skinned POC. In North America and Europe, most doctors are only trained to recognize skin cancer on white skin. Not to mention that if an American develops skin cancer, their life is in significant danger anyways if they can't afford treatment.

Now of course, if you don't want to wear sunscreen, this is entirely your choice; it's your life and your body, do whatever. But we all deserve to make an informed decision about that, and most of us aren't warned about the actual danger, which is getting fucking cancer.

When I was young, I'd make some effort to use sunscreen... right up until I forgot, spent an entire day in the sun wearing a swimsuit, and only got a light burn on my shoulders. I was twelve, and that was when I stopped wearing sunscreen entirely, because clearly I didn't need it. None of the adults in my life bothered to intervene, because they also believed if I didn't burn, I didn't need protection. I found out about the cancer risk when I was twenty - the process of skin cancer was used as an example in a bio class to explain how cancer works.

I'm lucky. I only had eight years of unprotected UV exposure. I have a higher chance of developing skin cancer down the line, but it could have been much worse. I learned the danger early. I always go out with sunscreen on now, and if I choose not to, I know what I'm actually risking.

Not everyone burns, but anybody can get skin cancer. That's the point I'm making here. Because everyone is warned about the first problem, but almost nobody knows that forgoing sunscreen will increase your risk of skin cancer, no matter how well your skin resists being burned.

Shut the fuck up about sunburns.

Hello everybody with summer fast approaching here is your regular reminder that:

Everyone needs to wear sunscreen

SPF 50 is pretty much the best protection you can get, an SPF higher than that will have the same effect

Melanin does not protect you from skin cancer

Tanning is caused by exposure to ultraviolet radiation

Spending the majority of your life receiving regular large doses of UV radiation without any skin protection is a good way to get skin cancer

Don't use tanning beds, and don't go sun tanning

Wear your fucking sunscreen

[therandomtapes]

I'm over here building a new computer to finish the new 0decathexis0 album on....just so i don't need to try to update windows on the old computer (hint: the old computer CAN'T run 11)

January was a bit barren, except for. . um. . .the continuation of THE METALCORE REVIVAL WE NEED, NOT THE ONE WE DESERVE!

This sorta began last year, honestly.

a few bands dropped some great EPs.

of course they're EPs. This stuff is hard to write. Look how long Architect have been working on a full length.

You see these stupid "djent" bands that drop every other year? That shit is easy to write. Straight up.

You heard that Knocked Loose album?

you know, the one that's like 80% filler?

(they should ONLY do EPs)

...oh, while I'm being controversial, here's a take: EVERYBODY CAN'T BE FROTIERER.

Frontierer, Car Bomb, Sectioned, Fawn Limbs (actually, I haven't seen anyone try to ape them . . because I think most people know they CAN'T) those bands exist. nobody else is gonna pull that off.

you hear all these bands that started doing clean singing one album in? (please don't get me started on the awful precedent Greg Puciato set)

we're not talking about that here.

You saw my ep list for 2024, there were three key releases on there that I am going to speak of right now.

This band are from Jersey. I had mistakenly thought maybe they were from the UK and maybe had members of God Complex, but then about a month after I heard this, God Complex reunited and put out a new song!?!?

This is a throwback for me, a throwback to living in Philly and going to see moshcore bands from that Philly/Jersey vortex. It sounds bleak as fuck too.

you had to know this was gonna come up. total Deadguy worship, the kind nobody even attempts. I couldn't believe this when I heard it. Not even Playing Enemy/Kiss it Goodbye, straight up DEADGUY.

This here takes it back to the days of Tribunal records. You remember Tribunal records?

Scarlet? Killwhitneydead? Prayer for Cleansing? Hyde? From Here On? the only good From Autumn to Ashes release? (ever?)

.... actually, come to find out the label still exists!

This one is slow and bleak and kinda reminds me of the Minor Times and Playing Enemy.

I nearly forgot about this one. They're from Long Island, NY . . .land of Sons of Abraham, VOD, etc. BTW, you're gonna notice a theme here that matches a few bands in this post: CORRECT SNARE

AN AMPWALL LINK! (as many of these as there are, I will post from now on)

another throwback to Tribunal chaotic-core.

lastly, we're dipping into the return of "white belt grind". I have a theory on why this style is coming back. People had to disown Daughters/As the Sun Sets back in like 2021, so they started new bands.

. . .if the young kids are going back in this kind of direction (ie: the hawd shit), mathcore/metalcore will be okay. Even if the_network. don't reunite. . . .

other than that.. . .I don't have a hopeful message for y'all. I"m not the guy for that. Try to breathe. support and enjoy art. g'night.

PS - shoutout Gojira and Kendrick. a glitch in the matrix.

[yerimbrit]

valentine's special : k. minji

synopsis: there's a valentine's day special at the cafe near your school. the only thing is, it's exclusive to couples. and you and minji aren't dating(?)

# : pairing ! nonidol!kim minji x fem!reader

# : tags ! fake dating (does this even count), fluff, hs!au, you and minji are seniors (but it doesn't really matter), mutual pining

# : wordcount ! 2.8k

# : warnings ! slight implied homophobia

minji loved ice cream.

and so did you. that's how you convinced her to accompany you on your endeavor for a valentine's day special.

which is why she found herself outside of the café two blocks down from your high school just to try the limited time sundae. you'd heard rumors being spread around about the valentine's day menu, and the pictures being posted on instagram simply made the dessert look so irresistible. how could you not come and try it for yourself?

(you were looking up at minji, eyes sparkling as you pulled up a photo of the dessert from a review you screenshotted on your phone. "minji, pleaaase? look, doesn't it look so good? that means we should try it! please?"

"uhm... i don't know, maybe. i have to, uh, feed my fish."

"minji, your fish died two weeks ago!"

"oh yeah. i forgot," she grinned at you, a familiar glint in her eyes, "i guess we can go, if you really want it that bad.")

in all honesty, minji wasn't listening the majority of the time you were trying to convince her, because she was too distracted watching you. watching the way your eyes shined while you spoke, like she could map out a thousand constellations within. watching the way your hands grabbed hers in the midst of your attempt at persuasion, holding on tight like she would fly away if you let go. watching your lips curl upwards into a dimpled smile, beaming at her as she finally replied to you.

you were blinding. but minji was okay with being blinded as long as it was you.

minji could never turn you down. she knows this. she also knows why. and she's decided she's not going to do anything about it. because she'd rather make you happy than ruin any chance of you talking to her ever again—even if you've been friends since freshman year, and you swore she was your forever.

a pinch on her arm woke her from her thoughts.

"ow! why'd you do that?"

you frowned, a crease in your brow.

"we're here, min!" you nudged her shoulder, pointing to your chin where the entrance was.

"oh."

"by the way, the sundae's couples-only so you'll have to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"wait, what?"

the boy behind the cash register stared at you and minji with a bored expression.

"welcome to cloud nine, what'll you be having today?"

you smiled and intertwined your hands with minji's, causing the taller girl's face to heat up at record high temperatures. she gave your hand a weak squeeze, and you returned the gesture with double the energy.

"the valentine's sundae, please."

the boy stood up straight, narrowing his eyes at the two of you. minji gave a sheepish grin. you tilted your head. and minji was about to risk being on the news at the next words that tumbled out of the boy's mouth.

"...you don't look like you're dating."

minji's jaw dropped, and your eye twitched.

"we are dating," you insisted, "how would you even know?"

he scoffed, a smug smile making its way to his face as he leaned over the counter, adjusting his glasses. he's mocking you, minji noted mentally.

"do you know how many," he quoted with his hands, "couples, we've caught that weren't dating? plus, you're both girls."

'god, this kid is annoying. why even make it couple exclusive?' minji thought. she wanted to strangle him, but you wouldn't like that, and she would also get in trouble for it. then he rolled his eyes at both of you and suddenly minji didn't care anymore. screw the laws.

as soon as minji was about to untangle your fingers from hers, you groaned.

"look, dude, what do you want us to do? kiss?"

the boy widened his eyes, not expecting you to say anything like that. his face of shock was quickly replaced by a smirk of challenge, though.

"you're all talk, there's no way you two-"

you interrupted him by turning to your best friend, getting on your tip-toes to kiss her on the cheek. unfortunately, minji decided to turn her head towards you at the worst possible moment and now you were kissing- oh god you were kissing your best friend. you tried moving away to try to break the kiss and apologize, but she wrapped her other hand around your waist and pulled you closer, getting lost in the sweet cherry taste of your chapped lips.

wait, what? minji did what?

a fit of coughs could be heard from the boy behind the counter, finally making you two move apart, and apologizing profusely while putting in your order and fleeing the scene cursing to himself.

"uh-" "i-"

the two of you looked away, a furious red blush coating both of your faces.

"let-" you cleared your throat, "let's find a table."

minji awkwardly coughed, clearly trying to hide her face in her sleeve.

"yeah, let's..."

the awkwardness instilled in the air was so thick that minji couldn't breathe. both of you sat opposite each other, but minji was looking out the window while you traced the wood pattern of the small café table, prominent blushes still adorning your cheeks.

"y/n," minji tried to speak, but her sentence was interrupted when your order, set down in the middle of the table, got in the way.

any curiosity about what the girl was about to say quickly got pushed aside as you pulled out your phone at speeds minji couldn't even comprehend, capturing pictures of the dessert.

she sighed, but couldn't blame you. the sundae looked mouthwatering. vanilla ice cream with strawberries cut into hearts arranged around the top and bits of strawberry mixed into the middle, and pink and white heart shaped sprinkles with a cherry on top.

*click*

'huh?'

minji looked up to see you with a guilty smile, holding up your phone to snap a picture of her staring at the sundae like she was going to kill it.

"not cool bro," she muttered, pulling out her own phone to snap photos of you behind the dessert. after spamming the shutter button on her screen, she lowered her phone and you two made eye contact, before bursting out into laughter.

you took one of the spoons provided on the tray that came with your order, and dug it into the ice cream, trying to get a scoop that included everything that the sweet delicacy featured.

"say, 'ahh,' min!"

"...ahhh-mh."

minji's lips closed around the spoon, humming as the flavor of the sundae exploded in her mouth. it almost felt like she could taste the colors pink and red in her mouth, with the overload of strawberry overwhelming her taste buds. the flavor mixed well with the vanilla, minji thought.

she took the same spoon without another thought, and mirrored your previous action, hovering the filled spoon near your mouth with a hand under to catch anything that fell.

"your turn, y/nnie," she teased, calling you by one of your nicknames, which she rarely did, causing another blush to dust your cheeks.

"a- ahh..."

your eyes widened as you chewed, squealing and flashing a thumbs-up to minji. she rested her chin on her palm, chuckling. her thoughts drifted.

minji realized she loved you in the middle of your chemistry class. thanks to your amazing teamwork, you'd finished the experiment early and were just fooling around while everyone else was still working. minji was washing her hands when you ran up to her asking for her to come back to the table.

she hesitantly followed you back to your station. there, she watched as you held up two beakers filled with clear liquid and poured one into the other with a wide smile on your lips. she watched the liquid turn pink with a blank face, glancing between your face and the beakers you were holding. "look! i made it turn pink!"

("this is seriously so good. i'd say our plan was worth it, right, 'ji?")

she remembered staring at your face for a while, before breaking into giggles. your confused face was still fresh in her mind. "that's so cool, y/nnie."

"i know, right?"

("minji...?")

the hushed laughter the two of you shared in that moment felt like the gentle fluttering of butterflies in minji's stomach. she looked at you through her eyelashes, looked into your eyes, and a flurry of emotions swarmed her heart. three words echoed in her head. 'i love her.'

it's been two years since then, and minji hadn't stopped loving you. the way your hair falls over your face when you're dozing off in the library, golden streaks of light highlighting your features perfectly. the way you stick your tongue out when you're focusing on something. the way you always went out of your way to help others. the way you-

"hey, kim minji," you snapped your fingers, "are you going crazy? blink twice for help."

her eyes widened, realizing she just spaced out in front of you. "huh, what?"

"you seem distracted. is something wrong?"

you licked off some of the ice cream around your lips, and now minji's eyes were trained on your lips. she thought about how soft your lips were, and averted her gaze.

"n-no. nothing, nothing's wrong, don't worry about it y/n."

you tilted your head. was there something going on at home? or some terribly bad news? or was it the kiss? it was the kiss wasn't it. god, you wanted to die. you didn't really have to kiss her just for the sundae... you would've wanted your first kiss with her to be more special.

"oh... okay."

the rest of the time was spent finishing the sundae, easing into comfortable silence. the only thing that could be heard was the occasional hum of content from either of you after taking a bite.

("rock, paper, scissors, shoo- oh come on."

"hehe, thanks for paying, minji-kins!"

"call me that one more time and my wallet won't be the only thing crying."

"...")

you sighed.

the two of you were currently on your way home. the sky was painted a deep blue, your path only being lit by dim streetlights. despite the dark lighting, though, you were able to navigate the streets perfectly fine; you've walked this path hundreds of times. the way home was practically engraved into your mind.

the cold february air bit at your exposed legs, and you cursed at yourself for picking today to give up warmth for the sake of looking cute.

you felt a tap on your shoulder, and you turned towards the girl on your right (she made you walk on the safer side) and suddenly warmth was spreading to your face and down to your legs, which you had been complaining about not even five seconds ago.

she tied the sleeves of her jacket around your waist, and frowned. "you're gonna get frostbite."

"oh... thanks, 'ji."

the two of you start walking again.

"it's fine. why'd you wear a skirt if you knew it was gonna be freezing outside?"

you threw a glance at her, only to find she's already looking at you.

"you don't understand," you whined, "it's for fashion!"

minji laughed, nudging your shoulder. "whatever, y/n."

the silence that followed allowed you to collect your thoughts.

by thoughts, you meant the kiss from earlier. what if that was minji's first kiss too? what if you ruined the experience for her? honestly, you were glad yours was minji, but would she feel the same way? did she share the same feelings that you felt for her since day one?

did she feel the same as you did when the two of you met in homeroom on the first day of school? when you two were placed together on those two-seater school desks, shoulders so close they were practically touching? when you were made to do introductions, and the very first thing she said to you when you turned to her was 'you're pretty'?

kim minji was your world. she was your anchor, but she was also your star, lifting you up into the sky just for a taste of serotonin. you loved minji. and you wouldn't have it any other way.

you pursed your lips, speeding up to stop in front of your best friend. surprised, she stopped as well, staring slightly down at you with a questioning look.

"minji."

"y/n."

"i need to ask you something."

the taller girl fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, the action not going unnoticed by you. you took both of her hands in yours and held them firmly, providing a sense of comfort. you exhaled, your breath materializing in the frigid air, the translucent vapor disappearing into the night.

"why didn't you pull away?"

"huh?" minji furrowed her eyebrows. "pull away? what do you mean?"

the confusion in her tone made you shrink back a little, and a rush of embarrassment flooded your entire being.

"i mean, from earlier. from the kiss. why didn't you pull away?"

"oh."

"oh?"

she squeezed your hands, looking down to the side.

"i..."

"minji, look at me." you let go of her hand briefly to tilt her chin towards you. minji instinctively closed her eyes. you swallowed, releasing another breath. the vapor almost acted like a barrier between you and her.

"do you... like me, minji?"

"..."

"...minji?"

she opened her eyes, and they were twinkling like starlight in the dark.

"what if i said yes?"

without hesitation, you leaned upward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. it's different from the last; this one was intentional, and you hoped it carried your feelings to minji effectively. minji's hands moved to circle around your waist, and your hands wrapped around her neck, pulling the two of you even closer.

you pulled away for air, and now the vapors from both of your breaths were merging into one from your close proximity.

you huffed. "i like you too, idiot. why didn't you say anything? i've liked you for so long."

minji's expression melted, and she pressed her forehead to yours. "i was scared, okay? i thought our relationship would fall apart if i ever told you."

you shared a bout of laughter, and minji pulled you into a bear hug, the two of you making it down the familiar street once again. except this time, your hands were intertwined. you thought your hands fit perfectly with hers—like two puzzle pieces, made for each other.

it was only a short walk from where you were to your home, and soon you reached the front of your house. the two of you stood there, neither of you wanting to leave.

"so, does this mean we're dating?" minji asked, with a hopeful tone.

your lips curled up into a mischievous grin. "well, you never asked, so we'll never know, yeah?"

the girl in front of you pouted, and it only made you want to kiss it off her face.

"y/n..."

there seemed to be some kind of internal conflict going on in minji's head, because she was silent for a moment before pepping herself up, clenching her fists. you watched her take a deep breath.

"y/n, will you be my girlfriend?"

you giggled, and leaned on your tippy toes to press a chaste kiss to her cheek. the tip of minji's ears flushed.

"yes, i'd love to be your girlfriend," you said, then running off to your front porch. turning around, you waved with a bright smile.

"kim minji, i love you!"

the blush at the tip of minji's ears spread throughout her entire face, and your cheeks felt like they were about to burst from smiling too hard.

she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "i love you even more, l/n y/n!"

your eyes crinkled into crescents and you disappeared behind the door that was just opened by your mom before peeking your head back out.

"you should sleep over! my mom already made dinner!"

minji laughed, knowing that there was no way out of it from previous experiences. she already had a set of her own living essentials at your house anyway, from the amount of times she's stayed over. she had her own toothbrush in your bathroom, and a bunch of her clothes sat in your closet.

(the only way she found out she left her clothes at your house was when you showed up to class in a hoodie a size too big for you, and had her initials stitched into the corner of the front pocket. she ended up just bringing half of her closet to your house after multiple sleepovers at your house. of course, you did the same at hers.)

you peeked your head out again. "hurry up! the cold air is blowing in because you're so slow!"

"alright, alright," minji shook her head, jogging up to your front door with a fond smile.

minji loved ice cream. but she loved you so much more.

a/n : happy valentine's day to all you single (or not) people ... might've gotten carried away but i love minji sm so does it really matter i promiseeeee WWIB is coming, maybe not soon but it's definitely coming, there's a whole bunch of planning i wanna do before i start writing the chapters >< hanni fic is also coming, and maybe another lsfm fic? or maybe... aespa...? 🤔 see u in the next one >:)

[late-to-the-party-81]

It's all about experience

AN: And we're about 2/3 of the way through. This is my first time writing for Stephen Strange so I hope that you enjoy. As always when I include Peter, he's aged up.

I’m using dialogue prompts from this post by @nightprompts and they can be found emboldened in the text.

Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Beta’d by @lunarbuck

Dividers by @firefly-graphics, banners and covers by me.

Pairings: Switch!Reader x Subby!Peter Parker. Switch!Reader x Dom!Stephen Strange

CW: Cuckolding and Age difference, Explicit sexual content, Smidge degradation, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Dirty talk, aged-up Peter Parker, mild Dom/Sub dynamics, mentions of non-monogamy as a valid relationship choice.

Word count: 3.4k

You knew something was up with Peter when he arrived at your dorm. He was acting more anxious and jumpy than usual. It was only after a few drinks and some heavy petting instigated by you, that your genius boyfriend let you know what was on his mind. Between gasps and moans, as you ground down on his lap and tugged on his hair, he finally let his fantasy spill from his lips.

“I want to see you get fucked by another man. An older man. I want to be told you need him cos I’m not good enough.”

A cuckolding kink; not what you were expecting from your angelic looking boyfriend (not to say he was purely vanilla, but still), but it made the rest of your evening even hotter than usual as he fucked into you with abandon as you whispered dirty thoughts in his ear about how this mystery man would fuck you so good, as Peter could only watch…

You forgot about it for a week or so, brushing it off as just a fantasy, a moment between the two of you, until Peter brought it up again.

“I was… wondering… would you do it?”

You pottered around your kitchen, glad your dorm mates were out.

“Do what, Petey-baby?”

“You know… be with an older man. While I watched.”

You stopped in the middle of sorting out the spice cupboard and turned to him. Although you two were currently in a monogamous relationship, it was more out of convention and lack of discussion than any aversion to non-monogamy.

“I haven’t ever really thought about it. Are you saying it’s something you’d be okay with? That you wouldn’t be jealous?”

“I wouldn’t be jealous at all.” He walked over, cupping your face with his hands and pressing his forehead against yours. “It would be hot.”

“Anyone in mind for this fantasy of yours?” You pressed kisses over his jaw, revelling in his little sighs.

“Not really… I mean, one guy springs to mind, but I don’t know if he’d do it and whether you’d…you know…find him attractive.”

Your hands snaked up his t-shirt, and you started to tweak his nipples as you nibbled his lower lip. He rubbed his hips up against you, and you could clearly feel his erection pressing against the zipper of his jeans.

“Tell me, baby. Who do you wanna see fuck me? Who is it you think is going to fuck me better than you? Make me scream? Who has the skill to show me just how pathetic a lover you are?”

“Dr. Strange! Stephen!”

Peter shuddered in your hold as he whined out the name. His head dropped to your shoulder as your hands slid down his body. You smiled to yourself when you realised your sweet boyfriend had cum in his pants…

Extracting yourself from his embrace, you hopped up on the counter, spreading your thighs, pulling your underwear to the side and guiding Peter to where you needed him. As he ate you with abandon, you detailed to him all the ways you’d scream on Stephen’s cock. Peter came again into his hand as you came into his mouth.

A week later, Friday afternoon, you received a text from an unknown number. 

Be ready for me, darling girl. 8pm. I’ll collect you. SS

A shiver ran down your spine and straight into your panties. Were you really going to do this? You couldn’t deny the thought was intensely arousing. Dr. Strange- Stephen- was a very attractive man. And it wasn’t just his physical attributes. You’d met him a few times when he’d popped in via portal to chat to Peter about the odd thing. His general aura of competence, and smugness, borne of the fact he knew he was far above you, nearly everyone in fact, intellectually. 

With Peter, you were the more experienced, normally the ‘aggressor’ in your shared bedroom antics. You knew that wouldn’t be the case with Stephen; he’d be totally in charge, and you found the idea titillating. Would you be able to submit to him? Probably. You shivered again before heading to your bathroom to prepare for your evening.

7.55pm

You paced back and forth in your living room, waiting for your doorbell. You smoothed down your black skirt and straightened the back seam on your stocking, trying to tamp down your nerves. Such was your heightened state that it took you a moment to notice the yellow-gold sparks and put two and two together. Or course he wasn’t going to pick you up in a car. The sparks turned in a circle, which grew in size until it was fully formed.

Stephen stood on the other side, full sorcerer regalia, including his sentient cape, holding his hand with his long tapered fingers towards you. You placed your hand in his and stepped over the portal threshold.

You looked around at the interior of the Sanctum Santorum, the grand staircase, the wall hangings, and large stained glass windows.

“Welcome, darling, to my humble abode.” Stephen’s lips twitched up in a small smirk and you felt the heat rising in your cheeks, at the same time trying to suppress the urge to giggle. That was not you!

He hooked your arm into the crook of his as he led you up the staircase and through the maze of corridors. The lights burned low in their embrasures, casting shadows as you walked. It should have been eerie, but it actually felt intimate.

“So, sweet one, tell me - are you fully onboard with this idea of the Spider-child?”

“Doctor…” He interrupted you with a raised hand.

“Please, call me Stephen.”

“Stephen, then. He’s not a child; he’s 25.” Stephen made a dismissive sound.

“As I said, a mere child.” You raised your eyebrow at him, challengingly

“I’m not that different in age.” 

“Ah, but you have always struck me, in our interactions so far at least, as someone mature beyond their years.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his compliment.

“Well, to answer your question, I am on board with it. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

He paused outside of a pair of double doors, letting go of your arm to open the door and usher you through.

“A feisty little thing, aren’t you? Well, you can change your mind at any time. Just say…..let’s see…” He tapped his index finger against his lips. “Just say ‘webspinner’.”

You couldn’t hold back your giggle this time as you walked into the Doctor’s chambers. 

A large, four-poster bed was central in the room, dark red curtains tied back. And there, in the corner, in an armchair was Peter. His arms lay on top of those of the chair, hands gripping the ends in anticipation. His eyes met with yours, and he shot you a small smile before your focus was pulled back to Stephen by his hand on your chin.

“Eyes on me, darling girl. Ignore him now. He’s insignificant, and I’m going to prove it to you.” 

His hand slid up to cup your face, and you could feel the spiderweb-like scars on it. His thumb brushed over your cheek and you looked up into his ice-blue eyes. They were hypnotising. Your own hand raised up and brushed over the greying hair at his temples.

“You are a very handsome man, Stephen.”

“And you are a very beautiful, very alluring young lady.”

“Shut up and kiss me already.” Your voice was barely louder than a whisper but laden with desire.

He smiled as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, gentle at first, but as you wound your arms around his neck, he kissed you harder. His free hand slid around your waist, drawing you closer. His beard and moustache tickled your face, a strange and unfamiliar feeling.

You didn’t know if it was just him or because of the whole situation, but your arousal built quickly, with you kissing him back just as ferociously as he was kissing you. You didn’t notice that he was moving the pair of you until he suddenly sat down on the edge of his bed, drawing you down with him to straddle his lap. Your short skirt rode up, exposing the top of your stockings, and you heard moans in stereo; from Peter in the corner where he had a view of your skirt fabric tightening across the ample globes of your ass, and from Stephen when he caught sight of the strip of flesh bared between the stocking tops and you rucked up skirt.

“Like what you see?” You whispered against his mouth, drawing his lower lip between your teeth and giving it a slight nip. His hands ran up your back, caressing you through the thin material of your top, and he chuckled.

“You are a naughty girl, aren’t you?”

You ground lightly on his lap and tilted your head to the side coquettishly.

“And do you like a naughty girl, Stephen?”

“Mmm, very much indeed.”

He rolled the pair of you then so that you were flat on your back on his opulent bed, his slim hips situated between your thighs, your skirt now doing duty as a belt. Stephen ran his hands up and down your legs, feeling the silkiness of your stockings and the softness of your skin before they inched up to take hold of your skirt and peel it down your body. He discarded it somewhere over his shoulder theatrically, and you giggled.

He pushed your top up slightly to bare your soft navel and pressed his face into it, his lips kissing gently nipping. He made his way upwards, pushing at the fabric as he went, until you grasped it yourself and tore it over your head, throwing it away with the same abandon he’d shown your skirt.

“Does Peter ever make you feel this way, darling girl? Like a work of art ready to be worshipped?

“No…”

“He makes you do all the work, I bet. Waiting on you to tell him where to touch…” His hands skimmed over your lace-covered breasts. “Where to kiss…” He sucked one pebbled nipple into his mouth through the fabric, and you gasped at the sensation. “But don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. Just leave it all to me, sweet girl.”

His mouth returned to your breast, his hand cupping your panty-covered mound, applying just a small amount of pressure. He teased you like that for what felt like an age, moving back and forth between your breasts until your chest was heaving and his hair was a mess from where you’d been tugging on it.

You tried to sit up, but he gently pushed you back down. 

“Relax…”

Staring up at him, you watched as he carefully divested himself of his clothing. First the cloak, which flew off to another corner of the room as doom as Stephen snapped open the clasp. Next was his blue leather top, which he pulled off over his head.

You were biting your lower lip as he undid his pants, pushing them down to his ankles. His body was lean and toned. Dark hair dusted his chest before coming together in a thicker line that led down into his straining underwear. Your eyes widened slightly. Fuck!

Kicking his pants away, he crawled back over you. Your hands roamed over his chest and his arms, tracing his other battle scars. He may be powerful, but he didn’t heal like Peter, despite the magic he wielded. But there was definitely something alluring about a body that had experienced life, that had lost some of its smoothness and softness.

“Are you ready to continue, darling?”

His lips trailed across your collarbone, intermittently sucking harshly before laving the spot with his tongue.

“Please!”

Stephen drew the straps of your bra down your arms with a gentle touch before one hand snuck behind your back to undo the clasp. Then, just as carefully, he peeled your panties down, leaving you clad only in your stockings and heels.

With his head level with your sex, he smiled before blowing gently over the sensitive skin. You shuddered and let out a moan.

“Just think, dear one. I’ve barely started with you, but I’m guessing it would be all over with Peter by now. Let me show you what you’ve been missing out on…”

Without taking his eyes off you, he leant forwards, nuzzling his way between your folds before licking a stripe up you. You groaned deep in your throat, your back arching as you surrendered to the pleasure. Your hands tangled in the coverlet of the large bed, red and gold fibres twisting under your assault.

You’d admit you’d been sceptical about how different sex with Stephen would be - it wasn’t as though Peter didn’t know what he was doing or couldn’t take instruction, but what you were experiencing now, this was the touch of experience. He teased you, touched you, gently. He was carefully and fully learning you, learning what you liked and what you didn’t, without any input from you other than the trembling of your thighs and the soft needy sounds falling from your lips. He traced you and tasted you, building you up slowly. His hands, that helped him channel such power, caressed the skin of your inner thighs, every so often brushing against the edges of your folds.

Your orgasm crept up on you, building and building gently and easily until it washed over you like a summer breeze, carrying you high as you cried out and then swaying back down to the here and now.

“Oh, fuck!”

You stared up at the swags of fabric covering the top of the bed, sucking in deep breaths. Stephen moved over you again, and you pulled his face to yours, kissing him deeply and moaning as you tasted him on your lips. 

“More, darling girl?”

“Yes. Fuck me, Stephen. Please!” 

His cock brushed up against your thigh, and you reached down between you to clasp it in your hand, feel its length, girth and weight, and you moaned as you thought about how it would feel inside you. You stroked it, teasing a pearl of pre-cum out of the tip and smearing it over his head.

“Then come here…” His arms wrapped around your waist, and he pulled you up onto his lap. He was sitting back on the edge of the bed, but this time you were facing the other way around, your back to Stephen’s front, his cock wedged up between you. As you looked forwards from your perch, your eyes met Peters. He was staring at you, lust clearly etched over his face, his arousal evident. Stephen’s arms wrapped around you, one caressing your breast and teasing the nipple back to a point, and the other pushed your thighs apart, baring your glistening pussy to your boyfriend. Your head rolled back onto his shoulder, and the sorcerer whispered into your ear. 

“Ride me, dear one. Take my cock, slide it into this pretty pussy of yours and take what you want. Show your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend how a real man can please a woman.”

Peter whined, and you sighed as you rolled your hips, rubbing your clit up against Stephen’s fingers.

“Come on, sweetheart…” He was almost purring, and when he nipped your earlobe you squeaked. Planting your feet on the floor and one hand on his knees, you raised yourself up, reaching between your thighs for his length. You swirled his tip around your folds, mixing his juices with yours. The hand on your breast moved up your body, resting lightly around your neck.

“Stop teasing…” His fingers pressed, slightly making you gasp.

You sank down.

“Oh God!” Your eyes rolled back into your head as Stephen filled you. How could one cock feel so different from another? Peering out from under your eyelids, you saw that Peter had leaned forwards, eyes trained on where you were being stretched wide. 

You made a tentative movement, lifting up slightly and then sinking back down, taking more of Stephen’s cock inside you. He hissed in your ear, and although you couldn’t see his face, you imagined that he was struggling with the sensations as well.

“How does it feel, darling girl? How does it feel to be fucking an older man while your boyfriend watches?”

“Good. So very good.” Your breath hitched as you moved again, riding Stephen harder, faster.

“Tell me. Tell me how I’m making you feel.”  His lips and facial hair tickled your neck as he kissed you, returning to pluck and pinch at your nipples as your breasts bounced and to swirl the fingers of his other hand around your clit.

“I…I feel so full. And– and so sensual. Desirable.” You sucked in a stuttered breath as you moved up and down. “I like that he’s watching me. Seeing how another man wants me. Can please me. It feels amazing. Oh!” 

Your second orgasm was fast approaching, and you knew it wouldn’t be as gentle as your first. Stephen’s cock was brushing over that sweet spot inside you, and the sheer eroticism of what you were doing was setting you aflame.

“Fuck! Stephen! Keep touching me, please. Oh God! Gonna cum. Gonna…”

Your body tensed as pleasure ripped through you like lightning, and you screamed. Without warning, Stephen rolled you both again so you were on all fours on the bed, and he was standing on the floor behind you. His hands gripped your hips, his fingers digging into the supple flesh, and he started to fuck into you with abandon.

“Could he do this? Could that pathetic boy bring you this much pleasure? You need a man to slake your appetites, keep you satisfied. Maybe I’ll keep you? Turn you into my cumslut to fuck whenever I feel the urge. Take pictures of your beautiful face in the throws of ecstasy and send them to Peter?”

His words were a litany of filth, painting an erotic image in your brain of you lying fucked out and sated within these very sheets.

You came again, an explosive pleasure that stole the breath from your lungs. You felt wetness between your legs, and you realised you’d squirted for the first time.

“Yes!” Stephen growled in your ear before he was groaning out his own pleasure, pumping you full of his cum, bearing you down to lie flat on the bed as he continued to thrust into your pussy. You were aware of a small cry from the other side of the room, one that signalled Peter reaching his own orgasm as he watched the pair of you.

For the next few minutes, the only sound in the room was that of three sets of lungs breathing heavily. Your eyes were closed, and you were warm from where Stephen lay half on top of you. When you heard a strange flapping noise you opened one eye to see the cloak hovering in front of you bearing a damp washcloth. You smiled and took the proffered item, feeling a bit silly when you muttered a quick ‘thanks’ under your breath.

Sitting up to clean yourself off, you started to feel slightly self-conscious. What was the etiquette now? Stephen shifted behind you, dropped a soft kiss to your shoulder and slipped off the bed, pottering around the room, out of your peripheral vision. Peter appeared in front of you, crouching down by the side of the bed.

“Are you okay, baby?”

“I’m fine, Peter. It was…good. I hope that’s okay with you?”

He grinned at you, his boyish features alight.

“More than okay. I can’t wait to get you home.” You chuckled at his enthusiasm. You were sure that he was still half-hard inside his damp jeans.

“Calm it, you crazy kids.” Stephen was dressed now, or at least partially, and the cloak had your clothes gathered up, depositing them into your grasp. “Let’s get you two home.”

He started to move his hand in a circle, opening a portal from his room directly into yours. When it was stable he took your hand in his and dropped a small kiss to your knuckles.

“I had a wonderful time, darling girl. If the pair of you ever want to repeat this, I would be more than happy to oblige.” You felt the heat spreading up your throat and across your cheeks at his statement. “Oh, and Peter - treat this young lady right. I haven’t decided if I was entirely joking when I talked about stealing her from you.”

Tag list: @christywantspizza @jobean12-blog @tuiccim @yarnforbrains @sidepartskinnyjeans @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @goldylions @ohsymphony @luxeavenger @wheezy-stucky @doasyoudesireandlive @sheismarvelousworld @strangeprincex

[helloalycia]

my brother’s date // alycia debnam-carey

summary: when you’re left to let down a girl on behalf of your stupid brother, you find yourself intrigued by said girl which results in the unexpected.

warning/s: none.

author's note: so this was in my drafts for a while, completed, and i totally forgot to post it! so yeah, here you go. just a cute concept i thought of a while ago lol, also in this, alycia isn’t famous so an au i guess?? anyway, enjoy!

masterlist | wattpad

I was walking back from work when I spotted the coffee shop that I remembered my brother talking about the other day. He said he had a date with someone he met on some dating app, and if I remembered correctly, it was supposed to be happening now.

Excited for him and also love taking the piss when I could, I gave him a ring and stopped outside the shop, glancing through the window and hoping to see him and his date.

"Y/N, hey, what's up?" he answered the phone after a ring.

"Hey, you've got that big date now, right?" I asked with a smile, eyes still searching for him. "I was on my way back from work and saw that coffee shop you were on about. Where are you? Is she there?"

He didn't answer straight away, and I lost my smile slowly as he stuttered out a response. "I– erm, I'm not actually there..."

"You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding."

"Look, a better plan came up! My bud got tickets to a football game and they were really good seats!"

I massaged the bridge of my nose as I sighed quietly. "Y/B/N, you told the girl, right? You cancelled?"

His silence was answer enough and I wanted nothing more then to smack him upside the head.

"You can't just do that, Y/B/N! That poor girl is expecting you to show and you've just left her hanging! Why are you like this?!"

"You're there, right?" he said quickly, almost regretfully, but I knew he was too stupid to feel regret. "You can tell her! She'll probably be there right now."

I almost laughed. "Sure, I'll just go in and fix your mistakes, as usual."

"So you'll do it? Just tell her I'm sick or something."

"I'm not lying for you, you arsehole!" I shouted quietly into the phone.

"Okay, then can I hang up? We're at the stadium now."

I clenched my jaw. "Send me her photo, dickhead."

"Come on, Y/N, don't be like that," he tried, but I simply rolled my eyes. He always did this and wondered why he couldn't get a girlfriend.

"You need to respect people," I told him sternly, though I could picture him as I spoke, knowing he was definitely not listening. "This girl deserved better, Y/B/N."

He didn't answer straight away, but I heard sounds from his side of the phone. Finally, he said, "I sent the pic, thanks, Y/N. I owe you."

I sighed. "I can't believe you."

"Shit, I gotta go, bye, Y/N!" he said quickly before hanging up.

"Arsehole," I mumbled, before checking my texts to see he sent a screenshot of the girl's dating page.

Her name was Alycia Debnam-Carey, she was twenty-seven and from L.A.. I couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked in her photo, wondering how much of an idiot Y/B/N was if he stood her up.

Fuck, he stood her up and now I had to fix it. Awesome.

I chewed on my lower lip as I entered the coffee shop, eyes subtly scanning the room for this Alycia girl. I ended up spotting her sat at a table in the middle, distracting herself with her phone. She looked just like her picture which made her easy to spot, but it also made me super nervous because she looked really sweet and I didn't want to upset her.

Swallowing hard, I approached the girl's table and awkwardly stepped in front of her with a polite smile on my face.

"Hi, are you, er, Alycia?" I asked.

She looked up from her phone and smiled uncomfortably. "Yes...? Sorry, do I know you?"

"Er, no," I began awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. "My brother, Y/B/N, was supposed to meet you today. On a date? Well, the thing is, he's kind of a dickhead and isn't showing up."

Alycia raised her eyebrows, eyes flickering to the table.

"I'm so sorry, I probably should've said that less, well, less harshly," I said quickly, seeing the absence of emotion in her eyes. "I wish he had told you before you made the effort and came here. But I'm afraid he's the worst person ever and I felt like you deserved to know instead of being stuck waiting here."

She nodded, cheeks flushing to the tips of her ears. Clearing her throat, she said, "Okay, well thank you for letting me know."

I detected the slight accent in her voice – Australian maybe? – and pitied my brother; she was seriously attractive. Why was he such an idiot?

To my surprise, the mystery girl grabbed a napkin from the table and patted the corner of her eyes. I realised she was teary and felt the guilt of the situation eating away at me.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry–"

"No, it's okay, I didn't mean to–" She laughed awkwardly, sucking up a breath. "I'm so embarrassed, sorry."

"No, don't apologise, please," I said, taking a seat in front of her and offering her another napkin. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's not your fault at all."

She accepted the napkin and continued to wipe the tears. I realised it may have been a little more than a stood up date that was making her upset, but I didn't want to make her feel any more uncomfortable by asking her.

"Thank you," she muttered, forcing a small smile. "I didn't get your name."

"It's Y/N," I said, feeling a little concerned. "My brother, he... I'm really sorry about this. If it's any consolation, he definitely missed out. You look great."

She laughed, tears finally stopping. Her green eyes were ten times brighter than I could have imagined and she looked beautiful when she was happy. Goddamn, Y/B/N was a fucking idiot.

"I appreciate you telling me," she said softly. "I should probably get going. I feel kind of stupid."

"The only person who should feel stupid is my brother," I said apologetically. "But if you want to leave, I get it. Though, I feel like I owe you something for coming here today."

"You really don't, it wasn't you who stood me up, right?" she tried to make light of the situation, but I could hear the embarrassment in her voice.

"Okay, well I just finished work and was thinking of getting a drink," I said, offering a hopeful smile. "If you were up for it, you could keep me company. I mean, you're already dressed. It wouldn't be too much trouble, would it?"

She chuckled, running a hand through her hair. "You're very sweet, Y/N, but you don't need to have a pity-date with me. I'm a big girl. I can take rejection."

"But I can't," I played along, smile widening to cheer her up. "So, if you say no, I'll definitely feel sad."

She gave me a knowing look. "Y/N."

I returned the look. "Alycia."

She sighed when I wouldn't give up, before an appreciative smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you."

I was glad I could make her feel even a little bit better after my arsehole of a brother's actions.

"Drinks are on me, so what would you like?" I asked her.

She still seemed reluctant as she said, "I guess a hot chocolate would be nice."

"One hot chocolate coming up," I said with a grin, before standing to leave.

As I was waiting for our drinks after placing an order, my phone buzzed and I saw that I got a text from my brother asking if I'd let Alycia down easy. I rolled my eyes and ignored his text before accepting the drinks and returning to Alycia's table. Thankfully, she was still there.

"I got cream and marshmallows," I said with realisation. "I probably should have asked if you wanted that. Sorry. I can totally go back and change it if–"

"This is perfect, Y/N, thank you," she cut me off with a smile that would send any person weak in the knees.

I nodded, returning the smile, and sat opposite her with my own hot chocolate.

"So, d'you live near here?" I tried to make conversation, before widening my eyes as I realised how weird that sounded. "Shit, that was creepy, wasn't it?" Not leaving her chance to respond, I shook my head and looked to my drink. "Sorry, it's been a while since I've been on a date – I forgot what you're supposed to talk about." I looked up instantly when I realised what I said, adding, "Not that this is a date or anything! God, sorry, this is messing up big time."

To my relief, she began to laugh adorably, covering her mouth as she looked down at the table.

"I'm much better at making friends than I appear to be," I weakly defended, offering a half-smile, knowing my cheeks were definitely heating up with embarrassment.

"I mean, you're doing great," she assured with a stifled grin.

"Mhm," I agreed sarcastically, making her smile widen.

She licked her lips as she nodded, eyes flickering between the table and I. "I do live near here, to answer your question. A few blocks away. How about you?"

"Same here," I answered, relaxing into my chair. "I was on my way back home when I realised my asshat of a brother had his date tonight. Once again, I'm very sorry for his idiocy."

She grimaced, shaking her head. "Let's not talk about him..."

"Right, yeah, sorry," I said, smiling apologetically.

"Er, so you said you just finished work," she changed the subject, green eyes flickering to me. "What is it that you do?"

"Oh, nothing exciting," I said with a chuckle. "I work part-time at a grocery store. It's just something to hold me over whilst I do my masters at university."

"Oh, wow, that sounds amazing," she said with interest, leaning forward. "You must be tired though. How long was your shift today?"

"Errrr...," I looked down at my watch, "Twelve hours?"

"Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted," she said with realisation, eyes guiltily watching me. "You really don't need to stay here with me, honestly."

"If you wanted to get rid of me, you could have just said so," I teased, cocking my head to the left playfully.

She shook her head, checks growing pink with embarrassment. "No, that's not it. I just– I thought–"

"I'm pulling your leg, Alycia," I cut her off, before laughter escaped my lips. "Honestly, I'm okay being here." I leaned forward, resting my head in the palm of my hand as I continued, "You seem interesting."

"And you pity me," she said knowingly, holding my gaze. Though she didn't seem as upset as before.

So, I gave her a grin as I straightened up. "Isn't that how all great relationships start?"

She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to hide her smile, but it was definitely there and I was definitely admiring how cute she looked. Seriously, how stupid could my brother be?

"Enough about me anyway," I said, fingers grasping my mug. "What is it that you do?"

Alycia and I talked for longer than I thought – a few hours actually. Despite my body begging to go to sleep, my eyes were wide awake, taking in the sight of the pretty girl before me and admiring how intelligent and funny she was. Though the circumstances in which we met weren't ideal, I found our conversation to flow quite easily, like we had known each other a lot longer than we did.

It was around dinner time when we realised how long we'd been chatting away and decided to call it a day.

"So that was definitely not what you were expecting," I began as we walked out of the coffee shop, "and definitely not what I was expecting, but I had a good time."

She returned my smile, the two of us lingering outside before we knew we had to part ways.

"It was," she agreed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I guess I'm kind of, well, glad that your brother–"

"Is a giant dickhead with no remorse for any shitty thing he does?" I filled in for her with a raised brow.

She let out the cutest laugh ever as she nodded in agreement. "I couldn't have put it better myself... but yes. I'm glad I met you today, Y/N."

"Me too," I said, before wincing, "With you. As in you, too. Like me, too, glad to have met you. I–" I tried to bite back my awkwardness. "Never mind."

She tried not to laugh at my dismay. "Thank you for letting me down on behalf of your brother. And for buying me a drink. And for pitying me enough to stay and keep me company. I guess I owe you."

I was certainly surprised when she quirked a brow, half teasing and half amused.

"S'up to you," I said, attempting to remain calm. "I'm always down for a free drink."

"Well, you have my number," she reminded me, referring to when we exchanged numbers earlier. "Just let me know when you're not working and I'd be happy to take you out."

"Sounds good," I said, before chewing on my lips. "Er, just to confirm, is this a– this is a date, right?"

She chuckled, nodding. "Yes, this is a date."

I breathed out. "Right. Okay. Yeah. Makes sense."

She rolled her eyes playfully before leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. I swallowed hard, definitely not expecting today to go this way. I mean, I knew our chat was great and I definitely thought she was beautiful, but my crushes had a tendency of only ever being one-sided. Alycia being interested in me wasn't something I expected. Definitely wasn't against it though.

"Thanks again for the drink," she said with a final smile. "I know you must be tired from work. Until next time, I guess."

I gave her a small smile, feeling excited at the possibility of seeing her again. "See you soon, Alycia. Text me when you're home, yeah? Gotta make sure you get there safely."

"Same goes for you," she replied. "See you."

I waved goodbye as she turned around and walked away. Stupidly enough, I couldn't take my eyes off her and was definitely embarrassed when she glanced behind her and met my gaze. She hid a smile as I turned around, flustered, and began to walk away.

As stupid as my brother was, I guess I was glad he gave me the chance to meet Alycia.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

The Outside Looking in

Holland Family X Adopted!Holland!Reader

Summary: When the Holland Family come to visit the orphanage you live at to raise money for it. They met you. 5 months later? Your apart of the family

Warnings: Orphans, mentions death of parents (mentioned once but like it's heavily hinted with the fact she's an orphan) mentions briefly death due to cancer, adoption, angst, and fluff lemme know if I missed any.l

Reader's Age: 15

Request: Anonymous

Ok. Really random idea that popped into my brain yesterday. Picture this: a teen!reader that is a musical theatre actress on West End and is an orphan, she lives in an orphanage. One day, the Hollands visit said orphanage for a Brothers Trust charity fundraiser, and get to know the orphans(like when celebs visit a children’s hospital), except for the reader hates them and is short with them because she thinks they are just there for PR benefits. They overhear her rehearsing for her new show(she is the lead) and realize how talented she is, and confront her about this. They keep trying to get to know her better and she keeps rejecting their advances. Over time, she starts to open up to them and they end up adopting her. Just an angsty and cute thought. If you can write it, I’d appreciate it. But if you can’t, that is perfectly fine!

A/n: okay accidentally posted this but we okay now. Ooh, this is different. I like different so here we go! Though I'm not really good with angst so if it's terrible ooof. 🤣 Also, I chose The Little Mermaid as the musical because I'm not a theater kid and I don't know any musicals. THIS IS LONG AS SHIT!!! also like I didn't write the whole process of adoption because this was already super long and I don't know much about it.

Italics is singing.

You've been living at Maggie's home for children since you were 1 year old. Your dad had passed away before you were born, then your mom died of cancer two weeks before your 1st birthday. You are the second oldest kid. You accepted a long time ago that you wouldn't get adopted. Through the years you've seen people be adopted by all kinds of people. You didn't care. This was your home, a strange home but yours nonetheless.

You've been acting in musicals since you were 6, then again that was just your average year one play for Christmas. Now ten years later, you still do act. Mostly in musicals but you have done plays. Maggie (the woman who runs the orphanage) and a few of your friends are usually the only people in the crowd for you specifically and you couldn't care less. Today was like any other day, you were on your way back from practice for your next show. You have the lead as Ariel in the Little Mermaid musical, that the West end Theatre is putting on.

"Another rich person wanting to adopt to make themselves feel good." You muttered adjusting your bag. You looked at the car again before walking around the building. To the back door to avoid well hopefully avoid the visitors. You walked into the backyard then straight to the door. You opened it not noticing the teenager at the fridge.

"Did you sneak out?" He asked you jumped and looking at the owner of the voice.

"No. Who are you?" You looked at him carefully. "Are you a new orphan? Or are you with the rich people whose nice car is parked outside?" He looked at you for a second.

"I'm with them. Uh, one of the younger kids wanted a juice box... Where would I find that?" He asked.

"Move. So what are your parents adopting or some shit?" You asked moving the milk out of the way to grab a juice pouch.

"Uh, no my family are meeting the kids before the fundraiser we're having on Saturday." You nodded and threw him the juice pouch. You forgot Maggie had mentioned something about a fundraiser.

"Ok." You said pushing past him. You walked into the living room and we're surprised to see Tom holland talking with one of the younger kids, Eli. You knew there was something fishy. This is a PR stunt.

"Oh y/n! Your back! I didn't hear you come in. Hollands this is the young lady I was telling you about." Maggie said smiling as Finley the youngest of the kids, only 2 years old came running over to you.

"Hey Finnie." You cooed. "Miss. Maggie I'll be in my room, with Finn." You said not acknowledging the guests.

"Don't be rude Dear say hi to our guests." Maggie said giving you a warning look.

"Hi, my name is y/n, and I have homework, nice meeting you all." You said carrying the young toddler on your hip as you left the room. "Want to hear a new song, Finn?" Was the last thing they heard from you, followed by Finn saying yes and babbling.

"I'm sorry about her. She gets like that meeting new people." Maggie said.

"How long has she been here?" Nikki asked.

"14 years," Maggie answered.

"Oh... How old is she?"

"15. Well will you be staying for dinner? I'll make extras."

"Yeah we'll stay." Dom smiled nodding.

Back upstairs with you and Finn, he was sat on your bed smiling as you sat on a nearby empty bunk. You were one of 8 girls who shared this room. Ages ranging from 5-15. You being the oldest. The room across the hall had the boys in it with 6 boys ages ranging from 6 to 17. Then the room right next door to Maggie's had 4 kids ages ranging from 2-4. Any kids younger than a year will sleep in a crib in Maggie's room.

"Okay Finn want to hear my personal favorite song from this musical?" You asked him as you grabbed your phone to play the instrumentals. Your phone was a basic phone, you saved up for months to get it. Nothing special you found it used and it does what it needs to.

"Yeah!!" He exclaimed smiling. You were always drawn close to the orphans who joined when they were really young because they remind you of yourself. Except they usually got adopted. Finley moved into the orphanage when he was 3 months old, and since then he's been family to you.

"Could I watch?" Tom asked knocking on the door. You looked at him cautiously.

"Sorry, this is just a rehearsal. Maybe next time." You said. He nodded.

"Okay. Uh can you point me to the bathroom please?"

"It's the next door over. Please shut my door please." You said.

"Okay. Thank you." He closed the door and walked to the next door.

"Sing!" Finn exclaimed. You laughed and nodded clicking the instrumental for "Part of your world" you took a deep breath before beginning.

"Maybe he's right, maybe there is something the matter with me. I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad." You sang looking at the smile the toddler's face held. "Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat?" You stood up and danced around the room as you sang.

"Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?" You didn't notice the door crack up and the Holland Brothers standing there.

"Look at this trove! Treasures untold, how many wonders can one cavern hold?" You did a little bit of the choreography that you learned today at rehearsal. "Looking around here you'd think, Sure, she's got everything." You leaned close to Finn tickling a bit making him giggle.

"I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty! I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got twenty!" You stared at the hair brush on a near by dresser before continuing still not noticing the brothers. "But who cares? No big deal, I want more." You pushed off the dresser turning back to your one man audience, well the one you knew about.

"I wanna be where the people are! I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin'." You picked finn up making him giggle as you danced around still singing. "Walking around on those, what do you call 'em? Oh, feet."

Tom stared amazed at how you actually were good. He didn't assume you were bad, but he didn't think you'd be this good. He should've believed Maggie when she said so. His brothers were in a silent agreement with him as they watched you dance around was the toddler.

"Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far. Legs are required for jumping, dancing, strolling along down the, what's that word again? Street." You sat Finn on the bed again smiling at him. "Up where they walk, up where they run."

Your voice was beautiful, and despite you having only started rehearsing this song last week you made very few mistakes. Soon you finished singing and took a sip of your water. You were used to clapping but it was usually only Finn or him and another one of the kids this was five sets of people. You turned to the door jumping when you saw the holland brothers.

"Shi-oot." You corrected yourself since there was a kid. "When did you guy get there!"

"Around the beginning. Your really good at singing." Harry said walking in. You sighed.

"Thank you." You said courtly.

"Seriously that was amazing!" Tom said smiling.

"Yeah." You grabbed, Finn's hand before leaving the room. You didn't want to be around them. You didn't want to be a pawn the PR stunt. And you weren't gonna leave the youngest of the kids alone with people you didn't know. "Well Finn lets go see if Miss Maggie needs help with dinner."

"She hates us." Paddy stated. "Like really hates us."

"We get it." Sam said rolling his eyes looking around the room. 6 bunk beds lined the room and. Then 6 dressers were across from them. Some of the bunks were empty not even having sheets on them. He assumed those were the unused bunks. "How many kids do you think sleep in this room?"

"Only 8 of the beds look made so 8." Paddy guessed.

"We need to try to get her to stop hating us." Tom spoke up.

"Yeah and how do you think that's gonna happen?" Harry asked looking at the bed you were on with Finn. He assumed it's yours.

"I haven't thought that far mate."

"Miss Maggie? Would you like any help?" You asked walking into the kitchen, Finn was with the other kids outside with, Gracie one of the caretakers who worked there, also Maggie's daughter who's around 25. She lives a few doors down.

"You can cut the carrots but why don't you talk with Tom he's an actor, he might be able to give you advice on to get into a bigger career after secondary school." She suggested.

"He's only here for his image. Helping needy orphans? That'll make all his fan girls swoon even more." You scoffed beginning to cut the carrots.

"You can't just assume everyone with money or fame do good things to look better." Maggie scolded. "And his family is trying to raise enough to get a playset for the garden. So the kids have somewhere to play."

"I guess he isn't that bad then." You rolled your eyes.

"Exactly so at least be polite. And not run away whenever they're around. That's why you haven't been adopted yet." You looked at her glaring.

"If anyone wanted to adopt me they would try harder then saying Hey kiddo!" You conceded.

"Hunny I've ran this orphanage for 30 years your not the only kid you thought they're unadoptable. Spoiler alert they got adopted." Maggie told you.

"Whatever. So on August 16th that's the first day of the show."

"I'll clear my calendar." She smiled. "Now go socialize."

"Fine." You scoffed making it into the living room.

"Hi! I'm Nikki." She smiled.

"Y/n." You gave a tight smile.

"Nice to meet you. Maggie said you act in musicals?" She asked you nodded wanting to go back to you room.

"Yeah." You agreed looking around for an excuse to leave.

"You're really good at singing!" Paddy said walking over.

"Thank you. I'll be upstairs if you need me." You dismissed yourself.

"I don't get what your problem with rich people are." The oldest, Michael said walking into your room, you be been up here for around an hour switching between homework and singing

"Of course you wouldn't you just got here a year ago." You scoffed, "Your stuck here for one more year. I've been stuck here my whole life. All rich people do is use us to make their image better." You sighed.

"Sorry. Miss Maggie wants me to tell you dinner is done." Then he left.

"Y/n! Sit next to me!" Maddie, a girl who's been here since she was 2 said smiling.

"Okay, Sweetie." You smiled taking the seat next to her.

"What musical are you rehearsing for?" Tom asked you over the noise of the younger kids talking loudly.

"The little mermaid." You responded taking a bite of your food.

"What role?" Dom asked you.

"Ariel." You mumbled looking at your plate.

"Well congratulations. When's the show?" Tom asked. You sighed, the others of their family were paying attention to the other kids but they locked their attention on you for some annoying reason.

"None of your business." You responded vaguely.

"How long have you been acting?"

"Nine years." You looked at Maggie but her attention was on Nikki.

"Nice. What was your first musical?" Dom asked you.

"Beauty and the Beast." You said quietly.

"Oh. What's your favorite musical you've been in?" Tom asked you, as his dad's attention was pulled away by one of the kids starting a conversation with him.

You looked at him and shrugged. Continuing with your food wanting to get out of there as fast as possible.

"What theatre do you act at?" He asked you.

"West end Theatre." You said. His smile widened. You knew he has acted there. Some of the other girls you've met are fans of his and have gushed about how cool they found acting at the some place he started. You couldn't care less.

"Oh! I acted there I was in Billy Elliott." He smiled.

"I know. May I be excused?" You asked Maggie.

"Yes." You left the room quickly.

———

"Y/n! Can you please help us get the girls ready?" Gracie asked coming into your room where everyone besides you was sleeping. You were quietly practicing choreography.

"Of course." You smile. She gave you a grateful smile as she hurried across the hall. "Okay Ladies! Wake up! We have to be at the park in two hours!" You said loudly.

"It's too earlier." The oldest besides you, Bella said rolling over. She's lived here two years, and is 13.

"Wake up!" You pushed her off her bottom bunk bed gently. "I don't want to go to this either but we have to." You said.

It only took 40 minutes to get them all up. You helped the younger ones get dressed before you were downstairs eating breakfast. Then out the door. The event was being held at a park.

"Leave me alone." You said before Paddy could even say something.

"I was just going to say hi." He muttered walking away. You were just happy you only had to be here for a little while since you have rehearsal.

"Hey y/n!" Sam said smiling at you.

"Hi." You said continuing to go over lines in your head.

"What're you doing?" He asked.

"None of your business." You said walking away.

"Oof." Harry laughed walking over to his twin. "She still hates us I see."

"Yeah."

"She thinks your just helping the orphanage for PR benefits. I personally couldn't care less I'm getting out in a month but it's a big deal to her." Micheal explained watching as you joined the younger kids at the arts and crafts table.

"We aren't doing it for PR." Harry said.

"That's what someone who is doing something for PR would say. Well bye." He said walking away to the food table.

"He was strange." Sam laughed

"I think he was right, cause look at her, she's being nice to everyone except us."

"So what do we do?" Tom asked walking over to them.

"Why does it matter if we get close to her. We'll probably never see her again." Paddy said making his way back over.

"Because we can." Harry shrugged.

"Well then, I'm going to get lunch," Sam said before walking away.

"Where's miss Maggie?" You asked walking over.

"Talking with our parents. What's up?" Tom asked smiling.

"Nothing." You said going to leave but they stopped you.

"We're not doing this for PR you know." Tom told you before you could get away.

"Mhm." You nodded. "Whatever you say."

"We're serious." Harry said. You looked at them cautiously.

"Okay. So what? You're not doing this for PR." You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes. "Now if you excuse me I have better things to do." You finished walking away.

"Maybe she'll give us a chance now?" Paddy asked laughing nervously.

"Probably not." Tom laughed before leaving I go play with the kids.

———

"Okay if one more person touches my phone without my permission they're going to be in big trouble!" You exclaimed unable to find your phone. The younger kids have found it funny to hide it.

"Here I think this is it. I found it on the floor." Tom handed it to you.

"Thank you... What are you doing here?" You asked him checking your phone over.

"I'm volunteering now since I don't have any films for awhile." He told you smiling. You nodded as Maggie came out of her office.

"Hey Sweetheart we have a baby girl and her older brother coming tonight could you show Tom where the sheets are so he can set up the crib in my room and a bed in the younger kids' room," Maggie asked you.

"Yep. Come on." You hurried to door to go to the basement.

"Does this happen a lot? Getting two kids at once I mean." Tom asked following you down.

"Its not uncommon. Okay so for sheets you have these options." You showed him four sheets sets stacked up, one pink, one blue, a Mickey mouse one, and a light yellow one. "The blankets are in the drier. Should be done soon." You said before going toward the stairs.

"Wait y/n!" He said now holding the Mickey mouse sheet set, the light yellow ones, a Mickey blanket, and a pastel pink baby blankets. You turned to him. "Why did you start acting?" He asked walking with your. You looked at him carefully before decided what's the worse that could happen.

"I had a lot fun in my primary school musical. Even if I was just tree number 1. So Maggie agreed to sign me up for more." You shrugged. "Now nine years later I didn't get tired of it."

"Oh. Favorite musical you've been in?" He asked you as the town of you made it up the stairs and you started locking the basement door.

"Mamma Mia. What about you? What was your favorite role?"

"I don't have one. But one of the top ones is spiderman." Tom answered. "If you don't my asking what do you know about your birth family?"

"Only know how my parents died. And that I have zero sibling." You answered.

"Hmm." He hummed his acknowledgment. He was curious on how they passed but decided not to ask.

"Okay bye." Once on the second floor you went to your room while he went to make the beds.

———

"I'm glad to see you guys could make it!" Maggie smiled outside of the theatre, holding Finn. She couldn't afford 21 tickets and just didn't want to bring that many kids to the show so it was just her.

"Of course we wouldn't miss it for the world." Nikki smiled. It was the night of the show, and Maggie invited the Hollands. Who you had warmed up to after a little while.

Soon everyone was sat and the show was about to start. It was dark in the theatre with the stage being lit up. You came out in a costume that made it look like you had a mermaid tail.

The show was finished now and you were backstage waiting for Miss Maggie to join you. She hugged you gushing over how good it was. Then you noticed the Holland family standing behind you.

"Hey!" You smiled.

"You did great!" Sam said smiling. They would've given you hugs but it was clear your weren't ready for them to be doing that.

"Thank you." Over the last few weeks you had actually come to like the family. Now of course you still push them away but you no longer ignore them.

"It's the first thank you you said not begrudgingly!" Dom teased. You rolled you eyes.

"Haha." You laughed sarcastically.

"Oh, she's pouty now." Tom teased trying to hug you but you pushed him away failing to stop him from hugging you.

"I hate you." You grumbled. None of you noticed how their parents and Maggie looked at each other with smiles as Sam, Harry, and Paddy joined in.

"You can't just say that everytime we annoy you." Harry said chuckling.

"I can and will." You pushed Tom off of you.

"Whatever." Paddy laughed.

Maybe this is what having older brothers is like not that you would want that. Well that's what you tell yourself as you continuing arguing with them. From the outside looking in, you five were siblings. Not because you look alike -which you didn't (ignore that if you actually look like them)- but because of how you were acting.

"Okay Y/n we have to get home now." Maggie smoke up. You nodded.

"Okay! Let me grab my bag." You skipped away and to your dressing room. You came back with your bag and a smile. "Bye!" You hugged Nikki before waving bye at your castmates and heading home.

"Sweetheart what do you think about them?" Maggie asked during the car ride.

"They're chill. Why?" You asked looking at your phone.

"Just wondering." She smiled.

—

"Okay we need to have a family discussion." Nikki said once they got home.

"What?" Tom asked sitting on the couch with Tessa.

"Is it about y/n?" Paddy asked sitting next to his eldest brother.

"We were thinking about adopting her. But we need the whole family on board." Dom explained.

"I've always wanted a little sister! Yes." Tom said with a big smile.

"Will I have to share my room?" Paddy asked.

"No she'll get tom's old room."

"Wow just getting rid of me." He scoffed.

"Okay I'm on board!"

"I don't think she'd say yes. But I'm on board." Sam said shrugging.

"I'm on board."

"I agree with Sam. There's no way she'll say yes." Tom said now realizing you'd have to agree to becoming their sister.

"Well we're not adopting her for a little while, since we need to set Tom's room up, and convince her." Nikki explained.

"That's gonna take forever." Paddy chuckled.

"Maybe it will but won't it be fun to have a sister."

———

"Oh is her Majesty annoyed?" Sam cooed laughing at your frustrated glared as you got into his car. You slapped his shoulder. "Okay what happened?"

"Nothing." You sneered crossing your arms. It's became a normal occurrence for him to pick you up from the theatre after he finishes work.

"You're a terrible liar." He laughed. You just rolled your eyes and looked out the window.

"Seriously is something wrong?"

"Someone was just picking on me. But I'm fine, kinda used to it actually." You said playing with your fingers.

"You can talk to me. And the others too."

"You wouldn't understand." You mumbled. He sighed but stayed quiet for the rest of the car ride. "Why are you coming in with me?" You asked him.

"Because I can." He shrugged. You rolled your eyes opening the door yelling that you were home and hurrying to your room. The past month had been something to were struggling with. Finn and Maddie had gotten adopted, -by different families- and while you were happy for them you missed them. And just today people were making fun of you for being an orphan. You just wanted to escape it.

"Y/n! Come to my office real quick!" Maggie shouted from the bottom of the stair. You sighed, quickly making your way down. You see the whole Holland family there. And Maggie had a giant smile on her face.

"What?" You asked crossing your arms.

"We want to adopt you." Nikki said. Your head snapped toward her direction. You held a stare for what seemed like an eternity.

"Why am I actually here?" You asked Maggie in denial.

"We want to adopt you." Dom copied his wife. You stared at him this time.

"Uh I-i uh well. WHAT?!" You exclaimed sitting down on a nearby chair. "You-" you pointed at them, "Want to adopt me?" You pointed at yourself.

"That's what we said."

"I think I need a minute." You said and walked out.

"So was that a no?" Paddy asked nervously.

"Give her minute." Maggie assured. She knew you, she also knew that as much as you would deny it, being adopted was something you've always wanted.

"Holy shit!" You were heard from the hallway. You came back in after a little while not noticing the amused looks on their faces. You ran straight into Nikki and Dom's arms, tears on your face.

You were going to have a family. Holy shit. Something you never thought you'd have, a mom, a dad, brothers. This felt like a dream.

"Is that a yes?" Dom asked you once the hug ended.

"Yes! A thousand times yes!" You said, and with that your soon-to-be brothers hugged you at once. You groaned haphazardly pushing at them.

"Okay now let's go over what needs to happen."

———

Your 16 now and have been a full fledged Holland for three months. The adoption took 6 months to process but here you are. Also you guys took a cute photo where their shirts said "She's stuck with us" and the date then yours said "I'm stuck with them" with the date. And that's how the fans found out about you.

"Mum! Tell them to stop it!" You glared at your brothers. It took you all of the 8 months to get used to calling them mom and dad but now it's just norm.

"Boys what're you doing?" Nikki aske her sons.

"A boy was flirting with her!" Tom said holding you phone up which had messages between you and your castmate.

"We were discussing lines!" You argued.

"He was clearly flirting." Paddy argued. "I mean just read the texts he's blatantly flirting."

"We're playing love interests! He was putting the lines in text!" You said stealing your phone back. "Ugh I hate you guys!" You grumbled and walked off. "And he's gay!" You added.

"Oh." Sam laughed.

"Sorry!" Harry shouted.

"Fuck off!"

"Don't cuss at your brothers!" Nikki scolded before turning to them, "stop doing that shit. She'll tell us if she's dating someone."

"Fine."

For the first time ever the people looking from the outside in see the truth. A large happy family filled with laughter and love.