#we're just as trans as the trans women and trans enbies

[sorinshuto]

I love how much transwomen are loved, it's genuinely great to see

But jesus christ where is the love for transmen? Everyone takes Okiku seriously but they don't take Yamato as seriously, especially in the dub

I follow so many transmen but how often do I see transmen posts vs transwomen posts? I see so many posts about beautiful women and its lovely to see, but where's the love for the men like me?

People will talk all day about girlcock and I love that for them, genuinely, but we need boypussy posts, we need love for the men who arent taken seriously, we need love for the men who dont even look like traditional men, we need love for the cis and trans and intersex men who have to put up with so much androphobia

I love you trans men, I love you cis men, I love you intersex men, if you identify even slightly as male, I fucking love you, I love you with all of my heart, men are amazing, especially trans men, you deserve more than you get and I'm so sorry people don't take you as seriously as you deserve, you deserve the world ♡

[the-acid-pear]

Cropping everything because I know this is just a harmless joke but imagine a girl was like man I sure love manly sports and people went oh you're a transman. straight up. 👍

[moodlesmain]

while im (takes a deep breath to hold back my rage) sympathetic to the fans of Those Wizard Books who're taking a death of the author approach so long as they're not supporting the series financially or actively promoting it and are sticking to fan communities, I really, *really* wish people would put away their merch. Because when I see someone in public with merch from it, I always have to wonder if I'm safe around them as a trans person, if my trans friends are safe. And that's a sucky feeling to have, especially when talking to people who otherwise seems perfectly fine and nice!!! A lot of HP fans are just, people!!! Who maybe don't know what the big deal is, or have chosen to deal with the problem by doubling down to spite the author!! But even when I know for a fact they're totally safe or even trans themselves, I don't want to be constantly reminded of the series whose author is an incredibly rich and powerful person whose whole agenda for the past several years has been to push back against the rights of people like me, and who people like my own god damn mother is more willing to listen to about trans people than her own nonbinary child.

I know it's irrational to feel surges of rage at the mere mention of a popular multimedia franchises, but while I know not every trans person is bothered by it, I also know that a lot of trans people and even allies *are* bothered by it. Just... begging for some understanding, and for people to just PLEASE dial back their fandom-ing in public spaces, especially mostly queer spaces. You don't know how much difference it might make in the comfort and feeling of safety for the trans people around you

[rederiswrites]

Sometimes I'm on here and y'all make posts that just make me go, "you are very young and would benefit from learning something about our culture in the last hundred years".

Yes, people are upset by trans and enby people, because their lives are entirely structured around the different roles of men and women, and the idea that men and women are fundamentally different and inherently suited to their traditional roles. Like, that shouldn't be a big realization. That was a major part of western culture until quite recently, and still is for a great many people. We attack their basic worldview by existing as ourselves. Obviously they're wrong, but that doesn't change the emotion of the situation.

Yes, conservative cis people act like marriage is a chore. For most of history, and certainly US colonial history, marriage was a social and economic necessity that created a working partnership. Attraction was certainly a hoped-for element but not strictly required, and love was a bonus, possibly even a bit suspect as a motivation. It was still like this when my grandparents married. I know couples today who are separated but married for financial reasons. We're not talking about the distant past. Marriage has been many things through the years, and "an equal partnership based on love" is a very recent iteration. Of course our culture is littered with artifacts of the older way. The older way was like...yesterday. Today.

Yes, Grandma has trouble at the grocery store checkout. When she was a kid they had rotary phones and radios, and you paid for everything with cash. She grew up in a culture that taught that childhood was for learning and adulthood was for doing, and now the world is asking her to learn a bunch of new things that basically sound like magic, and she's not even sure she can, and she's not at all sure it's an improvement (and she's got a point, though she might not know it).

There's just....a real lack of perspective. I dunno, watch some documentaries about the fifties. Read some historical novels. Go to the local Victorian house tour.

[genderqueerdykes]

im not sorry the truth of the transmasculine experience is ugly. i'm not sorry that we have to frequently discuss sexual and physical violence and abuse. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss violent physical abuse and death. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss homelessness, mental illness, addiction, disabilities, and other challenges in life.

we struggle. we do not instantly gain male privilege the second we come out. even if we pass. when someone knows we're trans we're treated like a woman no matter what. we can sometimes get lucky and pass with strangers but eventually people around us find out because people tell each other without our consent.

we face all kinds of abuse due to the fact that people feel entitlement to our bodies, regardless of what our AGAB is. they feel entitled to our faces, our hair, our entire appearance. they focus on the face that we're ruining something "pretty". they threaten corrective sexual violence to remind us that we're "just women". it happens constantly. this is not an isolated incident and virtually nobody wants people to talk about it when it comes to transmasculine people.

trans men often get injured for one reason or another. usually because someone wants to make them "prove" they're a man, to "toughen them up" or to "prove to them that they're a woman". sometimes this results in sexual assault. other times it results in physical assault. and sometimes people just kill trans men. all because they hate that a "woman" can transition into a man.

it's an ugly part of our reality but it needs to be discussed because otherwise people use the lack of that conversation as ammunition to say transmascs don't struggle.

transmasculine people struggle to stay housed. transmasculine people get kicked out of their living situations very often for many reasons. it's hard for transmascs to get jobs because often times people want either a man or a woman for a specific position and fuss over what they think the transmasc's gender is. misgendering is a huge issue at work. going stealth at work can be painful. being in the closet at work can be painful

transmascs are often disabled and struggle to get care due to people not taking AFAB patients' pain and symptoms seriously. this is a huge issue with any kind of AFAB person or any woman. all woman and AFAB people struggle with having their symptoms taken seriously when seeking serious medical attention to the point of possibly being undiagnosed for life, thus being unable to get on disability. trans women face this just as much as AFAB cis women, it's a huge issue in the medical industry

transmasculine people struggle to say on their hormones (or access them at all). testosterone is a controlled substance in many countries which means that you need a prior authorization to get the medication and need to consistently see a provider to get blood tests and check ups. it can be difficult to do so if you are low income and sometimes certain pharmacists will intentionally find ways to withhold hormones due to their own prejudices

transmasculine people struggle to get pregnancy support and care. it is very difficult for transmasculine people to figure out how to navigate their pregnancy, either due to their HRT provider not knowing much about pregnancy, or having a gynecologist who's not familiar with transmasculine health.

transmascs get denied from spaces made for men constantly. even if they pass, if word gets around that they're trans they can easily be kicked out of a space. transmasculine lesbians are often removed from lesbian, transmasc and/or non binary spaces. transmasc butches are often ostracized from all communities their identities correlate to. trans men and transmasc enbies are seen as a threat to women.

there is ugliness in every pocket of the queer community when it comes to how cisheteronormative society treats us. we all face disgusting treatment that needs to be addressed. it's important to consider how this system affects everyone underneath it. we need to talk about the positive things, it's good to help those are questioning, but we also must discuss what struggles we face in order to humanize ourselves and show that we people, too. none of us have it easy.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pressuring my friend to listen to women who make pop music?

(🏳️‍🌈 to find this)

so in my (25M) friend group (mid-20s) we're all at least some flavor of queer - I'm a gay guy, there's two enbies, a trans woman, a lesbian, a pan girl, a bi guy... so this is about the bi guy, let's call him Josh.

Josh is a pretty chill dude, he's a good friend and I can't complain about him as a person. but he listens to very uhh "traditionally" masculine music - I looked up some of the bands from his Spotify playlist and all I could find was, quote "metal, heavy metal, power metal, gothic metal, nu metal, metalcore"... and yk what, I do think some metal artists are fine af with their long hair and their muscles, I do think they have talent... I have NOTHING against them. however it is known their audience has never been particularly queer-friendly. personally I prefer to hype up women and I LOVE pop stars, this isn't just me - some of my online mlm friends love women pop stars as much as I do.

I started telling Josh he could get into pop artists as well. he's respectful when it comes to what I like but he's not into it. I won't lie to you I feel like he just says it's not his kind of music without even giving it a chance. I kept telling him to try, and eventually Josh told me to stop pressuring him. he also said something like "dude there's no right or wrong way to be queer, I'm bi regardless of what I listen to". tbh I had no idea I was making him feel that way. I apologized bc I felt like an asshole who "gatekeeps" being queer, but I'm also a dramatic overthinker so was I TAH in this situation or am I just thinking too much?

[forgotten-daydreamer]

I love how inclusivity is handled in The Dragon Prince, here's why.

In most shows, as much as it bothers me to admit so, some people are right, inclusivity does feel forced sometimes. But it's not the characters' fault, it's not because of them being part of the lgbtq+ community, or being disabled, or being POC, or being strong women who do not conform to patriarchal standards.

It's not that.

It's that the show they are part of is a straight, white, abled parade - and notice, most of said shows won't even pass the Bechdel test.

So yes, in a show written by and aimed to straight, white, abled people, even I, a gay, non-binary, chronically ill person feel weird seeing charcters that are there just for the sake of inclusivity, albeit 'inorganic'.

In a show with the premise of "straight, white, abled men are the indiscussed MCs", seeing that one side-character that stands out and is often ridiculed and/or reduced to a single trait of their 'personality', such as 'the gay one', 'the asian one', 'the disabled one' (etc) is upsetting and feels uncomfortable as hell.

But TDP is different.

They immediately introduced powerful women, people of color, characters that are openly part of the lgbtq+ community, disabled characters etc. And not one of them per 'category', no. For the lgbtq+ community we have Amaya, Janai, Runaan, Ethari, Terry, Kazi. For the disabled community, we have Amaya again, Villads, and even a disabled wolf Ava. For the POC community, we have literally half of the cast, starting from King Harrow, then Ezran, every sunfire elf, Terry as well, etc. Same goes for women, who take up on roles that are rarely considered 'for women', like Opeli being the main member of the High Council, Amaya being the General, Rayla being the main Dragon Guard, Claudia being one of the main antagonists, etc.

Both main and side-characters are part of the communities, everything is so much more organic, enjoyable, thrilling.

We do not come in 'minor quantity'.

We are everywhere, among others, living our lives, doing our best, existing, thriving, proud. It's not just one or two of us among thousands. Surprise, 'categories' can mix! Just like I, a real human being, can be gay, enby as well as chronically ill, we can have characters like that as well! Amaya being lesbian and disabled, Terry being black and trans, Janai being black and lesbian, etc. And, another surprise, 'categories' don't define us. We don't 'shove it' in anyone's face like they say we do, we're just being us and cishets are upset because we don't conform to their sick standards.

Inclusivity is organic in TDP because nobody in that universe questions anyone else's color, gender, orientation, etc. And it's organic because we didn't have to wait half a season to see a black character, or a disabled character, or a gay character.

The key to inclusivity is to realise that we aren't just 'bonuses'. Fill shows and comics with lgbtq+, POC, disabled, and female characters. Not just one every 15, 20 characters. Everywhere.

We are everywhere! We are proud! We deserve to be seen! We deserve to be depicted as the normal people we are, without diminishing our traits but without making them our whole personality either. Treat us like human beings, be considerate like you should be with everyone on the planet of course, but treat us like humans.

Antagonising people who are 'different' (in the mind of straight, white, abled people) will not suppress us. We will keep insisting until you hear us. It's literally one of the main messages, one of the main teachings of TDP and it's so damn important.

Every single person on Earth should watch it. Every single kid should be introduced to TDP at an early age. Every old bigot should watch it, as well. Everybody. Even if it's considered a y7 (y10 for s4 and s5 apparently) show, everyone, no matter their age, should give it a try and watch it thoroughly.

Lots of love to the creators and everyone, literelly everyone involved in the production of one the best, most entertaining, most exciting, most formative shows ever. Please, keep it up! And thank you so much!

[atinycherrykitty]

MEN AND MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG! THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH ANY OF MY POSTS! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!

Why good evening my darlings

Call me Cherry. I'm 20, non-binary (they/she pronouns), and hella fucking lesbian.

I've been lurking on sapphic nsft tumblr for a while now and I decided to bit the bullet and made an account.

Let's lay some ground rules, shall we?

This is my safe space first and foremost. It is a place for me to express myself in ways I can't in my life. Violating this will get you blocked.

DNI include: Men, minors (that means under the age of 18), bigots, MAGA cult, blogs that post r@pe or In$est k1nk, DD/LG, pro-shippers, ed/sh blogs, will update as needed.

To interact with this blog you MUST have your age and pronouns in your bio or pinned or someplace where it is easy to read. 18+ is not enough.

My asks are open, for women and enby sapphics only. I am a lesbian, I am only attracted to sapphics, and I only want to be horny with sapphics.

If those labels apply to you, you can send me dirty asks, or just chat! I'd love both! If you're gonna send nasty stuff, make sure they align with the stuff I like.

Also if you're going to sext in my ask box as an anon please leave ur age add pronouns so I can address you properly.

My dms are closed, unless we're mutuals or I give you permission to dm me. I don't send pictures.

I may or may not post some of my audios or NSFW writing here tho. If you ask nicely (seriously please be polite I don't like it when people are rude. Kinky or not)

I will add more here if I think of them

Great, now that that's out of the way, here's a little bit about me!

I am a super chatty person. I will come into your ask box and do whatever you feel comfortable with, because I would like to make some horny lesbian moots.

I am very flexible. Ask me why.

I am here for all types of sapphics. Trans, cis, femme, butch, stud, bi, pan, uhhhh I'm out of descriptors but you get the point

I loooooove having long nails <3 I may be non-binary but I tend to present femme

I'm a very creative person in a STEM major 🥲

Also if you read this all the rules, you are now obligated to come into my ask box and say hello or ask me a question. Do it. Now. Or you will RUE THE DAY, I'm just kidding but please cum say hi!

Claimed anons: 🦴, 🫧, 🦇, 🎀, 💫

[tgirlbumps]

There comes a point where deadnaming and misgendering becomes malicious instead of an accident. I'm of firm belief that it's okay to have a slight period of messing up because we're not perfect. Goodness knows I'm not. But slight means very, very small, right? It's not that difficult to remember a person's chosen name. We do it all the time when a person marries and takes another's last name. We are capable of changing, growing and improving as people.

Trans men are men.

Trans women are women.

Nonbinary means not conforming to either gender and that's totally cool.

This blog is and will always be a safe space for trans people of all kinds. Trans men and enbies, I'm just a trans woman, but I stand with you. Your struggles are our struggles, even if I do not understand your specific flavor of dysphoria (if you have it, that is not a pre-req).

[this-is-exorsexism]

I just saw a post about how transmasc and transfem aren't labels you can "opt out of," how if you transition like this then you ARE transmasc and if you transition like that then you ARE transfem, whether you like it or not. Because it's just a "fact" about your transition, not an identity.

And it just made me so sad. I'm transneutral. Sure, my transition might look binary to an outside observer. Yeah, people might look at me now and see me as far more masculine than I was before I transitioned. But that's other people. Not me.

Does this count as exorsexism? I feel like it does but I'm also worried that they're right, and maybe my identity is offensive and maybe I AM lying for not calling myself transmasc. I don't know. I just feel really bad and insecure right now.

this is exorsexism.

through and through.

i'm assuming this post was by a trans person, because cis people tend to be less educated about trans terminology in the first place, and will often just parrot whatever is popular but not think of it any further.

a lot of trans people, even some nonbinary people, seem to be really invested in upholding the gender binary in its various forms. "these are the two options you have, and you cannot be neither" is just gender binary 2.0.

people want to group especially nonbinary people by our AGAB, because a lot of people can't handle the fact that us simply saying "i'm nonbinary" doesn't give them any information about our AGAB, about "where we came from" the way that "trans woman" or "trans man" does. never mind the fact that some intersex people who were (c)afab are trans women and some intersex people who were (c)amab are trans men, but these people usually aren't just exorsexist, they're intersexist too. if the term "trans woman" doesn't necessarily tell you what gender someone was assigned at birth anymore, apparently the term loses all its meaning, since everything hinges on AGAB... somehow. but i digress.

and people have definitely started using transmasculine and transfeminine as "acceptable" shorthands for AGAB language, whether they admit it or not. if you were afab, your only options are cis woman, trans man or transmasculine nonbinary, and if you're transmasculine nonbinary we treat you like a man anyway, and vice versa for amab folk.

bonus points if it all hinges on transition steps, i.e. if you were amab and take oestrogen, you're automatically transfem regardless of how you identify (and if you don't take enough transition steps you're basically cis anyway - their line of thinking, not mine).

because we're definitely dismantling cissexism by still acting as if hormones are inherently masculine or feminine. we're definitely deconstructing the gender binary by just changing the words from male and female to transmasc and transfem. (heavy sarcasm)

so much of it goes back to people really just upholding cissexism and the binary, probably without even realising it. by saying it's about "what we were born as" or about how we transition, people are just using the same violence on nonbinary people as cis people use on all trans people. just because cis people assume you're masculine, trans people somehow think it's what you want and do it as well.

transmasc and transfem nonbinary people obviously exist. it's part of many people's identity. others actually do just use the term as a shorthand to what they're transitioning from, where they're transitioning to, how they're transitioning, certain experiences of transmisia, etc. and that's fine - if you use it like that for yourself and don't force it onto others.

and people also love framing words that have a heavy nonbinary association as somehow offensive, dirty or otherwise bad. people will go so far to avoid saying the word "nonbinary", they hate the word "enby", in fact, they hate when we have any term that is more specific than nonbinary, and they also hate our trans- terms, be it transneutral, transandrogynous or the many others. they really hate when we're actually somewhat equal.

[talisidekick]

The patriarchy isn't gendered in it's evil. It's a collaborative approach. It can't uphold itself if there aren't women and men supporting it's views.

We talk about toxic masculinity and the threats men pose with the power and privilege given to them under patriarchal systems, but what about the toxic femininity wielded by misogynistic women? What about the unique level of power the patriarchy gives to women who conform, and strips from women, men, non-binary, etc. who do not?

There's women who uphold the patriarchy, and they are the backbone to the whole structure. The validation and vindication to do the harm it does to others.

If you need a taste, take a look at how 'gender critical' and transphobic women justify why trans women aren't women. They use 'biological essentialism', the same ideology that gives patriarchal men the absolute ability to prey on women citing a biological need that absolves them of guilt and wrong doing, to paint transgender women as nothing but predatory men by matter of biology. That by being born sexually male, an AMAB person can never be a woman because they are bound exclusively by biological whims they cannot control that AFAB people do not have. They don't chastise cisgender men for this supposed biological difference, as if it's okay to have these supposed 'uncontrollable urges' being a cisgender man. They further back up this false claim by pointing to any behavior if transgender women that is loud, flashy, gaudy, dominant, etc. claiming that even identifying as women, we're unable to act like women, as if to say that being a woman is to act modest, quiet, submissive, etc. I remember not men, but women and mothers telling their children not to speak unless spoken to, not to complain, not to dress flashy, etc, to their daughters growing up. Never their sons.

Toxic femininity is real, it exists, and it supports the same system toxic masculinity does and I want to see crumble. I want a world filled with just as many loud, gaudy, flashy, and rebellious girls, women, enbies, etc. as I see men.

I need three things from the world:

I need cisgender women and men who are staunchly against the patriarchy to stop treating the transgender assault by 'gender criticals' as a "trans only issue".

I need people to recognize that men, cisgender and transgender, aren't an inherent enemy, which means learning to identify toxic masculinity from masculinity. Which is essentially learning that anytime masculinity or an aspect of it is framed as "above women" or "above other men", and "below women" or "below other men"; that it's the toxic kind of masculinity.

I need people to recognize women, cisgender and transgender, aren't the inherent victims, which means learning to identify toxic femininity from femininity. Which is essentially learning any time femininity or an aspect of it is framed as "below men" or "above other women", and "above men" or "below other women"; that it's the toxic kind of femininity.

Ending the binary gender hierarchy is how this system fails. Masculinity and femininity under a patriarchal system is oppressively wielded against women, men, those outside the gender binary, and those that exist within but don't conform, but masculinity and femininity are not it's tools. It appropriates them, and redefines them to hurt those it wants to force into a mold. It makes existing outside it's definitions painful where the easy salvation is conformity.

I propose a different tactic: rebellion.

[just-your-average-cryptid]

i'm not even in this conversation but it's pissing me off so hi. transmasc enby here to explain what some of y'all are missing about the term

transandro/phobia

see that? see what i did there?

it's not trans/androphobia, it's transandro/phobia

it's not "bigotry against men: trans edition," it's "bigotry against trans men/mascs specifically"

"but androphobia isn't real!!" yeah we know. "just use transmisogyny or transphobia!!" those don't describe bigotry against transmasculinity - transphobia is broad and transmisogyny is directed towards bigotry against transfemininity.

like transmisogyny, it's about the intersection; not just bigotry against women or just bigotry against trans people, but a combination of both.

it's about bigotry that targets and affects transmasculinity - bigotry centered on that intersection.

"but men aren't targeted by bigotry!!" cis men aren't. if you think every trans man 100% passes and is instantly accepted as a man by general society... you're just wrong ok this shouldn't be shocking. breaking news transphobes are transphobic to all trans people.

"but why does it have to be -androphobia?!" well, trans/phobia and trans/misogyny have a specific structure, and since there is no established term for bigotry against men bc there isn't bigotry against men outside of failing at patriarchal norms (which is just misogyny again,) "transandro" or transmasculinity + "phobia" or bigotry against gives you... transandro/phobia.

"but why do you even need a term for yourselves?!" ...because transphobes target and attack transmaculinity differently than transfemininity? did y'all forget about "Irreversible Damage?" about "poor confused girls pressured to become boys?" about "wow she's so ugly after taking HRT, should've stayed a nice pretty girl and kept her mouth shut, those evil trans people manipulating our daughters into mutilating themselves, they're just trying to escape misogyny, they're just trying to cheat their way out and leave us behind, they're never going to accept you, you'll always be a girl, you'll always be miserable so just accept it already."

yeah. transmascs have our own issues, same way transfems have their own issues compared to the trans community at large. its... not radical to say that we're affected differently and we want the language to talk about it.

stop eating your own and focus on the actual problem: the people who want to legislate us out of existence, and if that's too slow, with bullets instead of bathroom bills.

[dropoutconfessions]

As a trans man, the issue with the lack of trans fems on Dropout is understandable but an overreaction. There aren't many trans men on Dropout either (not counting nonbinary people like Ally Beardsley or Alex Song-Xia because they're enby not trans men).

Dropout has shown their allyship time and time again with Persephone Valentine and their nonbinary cast members, so complaining about the lack of trans femmes is kind of extra imo. We're not complaining about the lack of trans men.

Aabria blocking people is neither here nor there, because she is an individual and not representative of Dropout as a whole.

If you're going to complain about the lack of trans women, complain about the lack of trans men too, but even then it's kind of ridiculous. This company shows their allyship well and nitpicking about their lack of a specific Identity is odd and weird.

Okay you are aware that transfems is not an equal sized group to trans men right? Because we're not talking about just trans women or trans men, we are also talking about enbies. So we do have to count Ally and Alex when discussing this.

I'd also like to say, maybe you haven't complained about the lack of trans men. But I have (on my actual main where I actually talk about trans issues and not on this side blog).

At the end of the day, it feels like you're missing the fact that lack of transfem representation (Persephone Valentine should not be carrying transfem representation on her back like this), people working at Dropout blocking people who talk about it when you actively listen to other issues that are brought up, these are all canary in a coal mine statements. None of these are damning in and of themselves. But we have fair reason to get the ick here.

[genderqueerdykes]

What's a dyke

you know i get this question a lot and i don't get sick of answering is, so thanks for asking!

a dyke can be a lot of things. the term "dyke" is a slur that is thrown around in North America, primarily the United States and Canada as well as certain other English speaking countries that is generally directed at masculine or androgynous women (usually cis women and AFAB people). it is intended to be lesbophobic in nature. it is meant to be used in a way to imply that other person is a lesbian, and in a very bad way.

however, because a lot of people have a bad read on what a lesbian is, they often times misdirect it towards other people that they consider lesbians and thus dykes. if 2 women are close friends no matter how they express it they can be affected by the slur as well, no matter what their orientation is. other than lesbians, cis masc, androgynous, gender non conforming women and fem women who spend a lot of time around other women, regardless of their actual identity, people who get called dykes the most tend to be:

transfeminine people

trans women

intersex people

transmasculine people

trans men

butch people

bisexual, pansexual, polysexual & omnisexual women

multspectrum lesbians

non binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid people

two spirit people

multigender people

bisexual women & people

... a lot of other queer people

dyke is a slur that affects a really broad range of people due to the complexity and diversity that comes with both womanhood and transness. both trans men and trans women are affected by this a lot more than people want to talk about. if a woman or woman adjacent person reads as masculine, they very well can get called a dyke by someone hateful who is angry. the slur dyke is associated with AFAB bodied people and women, but there are a lot of transfem people who are targeted by this slur due to them not fitting inside of a restrictive binary of what can be a woman in someone else's mind.

this affects women, people assigned female at birth, transfem and transmasc people, genderqueer people, enbies and so on who express attraction to women. bisexual women have this directed toward them all the time. women who come out as bi, pan and/or polysexual get told they're dykes just for being attracted to women. any mention of sapphic attraction and you're a dyke. no matter if you're cis, trans, perisex, intersex, if you clock to them as a woman, they will call you a dyke for being attracted to women. even spending a lot of time with women can get this directed toward you

it affects trans men like crazy. most trans men and mascs are called this term throughout their childhood and early lives. if they aren't they're getting called a tomboy or something else of that nature. a lot of transmascs reclaim the slur because it's so heavily associated with antimasculism and transandrophobia. not every single transmasc and/or trans man will experience this but it's super common especially if you're butch and dress masc.

it affects trans women and transfems who don't "pass perfectly" in certain people's eyes. if we're attracted to other women, if we're hairy or have bulkier bodies or filled out jaws, deep voices or whatever else, we get called dykes. if trans women DO pass we still get called dykes, especially for spending a lot of time with other women of any identity. people are so emotionally charged about who women and femmes spend their time with that this affects trans women and femmes way more than people realize. it's transmisogynistic on top of everything else

it's racist in nature as well because any traits that are associated with masculinity present will also be targeted by this slur. women and people of color may get targeted and called dykes by cishet white racists due to the fact that they have different "beauty standards" and don't see certain traits as "feminine" or "womanly" enough. it disproportionally affects people of color, regardless of identity.

it's a slur that's layered with misogyny and antimasculism, intersexism and exorsexism, bio and gender essentialsm, transmisogyny and transandrophobia. it's lesbophobic, butchphobic and anti sapphic. it's racist. it's a slur that affects a really broad range of people and i like when people ask this question because i get to down the misconception that the slur only affects cis women who are lesbians. that's just not the case, it affects so many trans and queer people. intersex people are a large portion of the people affected by this slur and no one ever wants to talk about it.

the reason so many people reclaim it is because it affects so many parts of our identities and how other people view us. it's a very powerful slur to reclaim and it's very healing to do so, because other people use it so flippantly. even other queers will gladly call someone a dyke if they're upset. no matter what it's always waiting to be used against us, especially if we're trans men and women, intersex, people of color, and/or disabled.

it's a very powerful thing to reclaim because people seem to have zero hestitation to hit people with it no matter what. and it's important to take the power back from those people, so a lot of people choose to use it casually. it's something that i believe should be used proudly if so many people are going to judge our lives and how we should live them.

sure, maybe i am a dyke. maybe we're in agreement.

It's Mr. Dyke to you.

so thank you for asking! i hope this helps. feel free to ask, let me know if you have any other questions!

[dykeulous]

Don't you realize that male and female are social constructs? They're ideas. Scientists don't even believe biological sex is a thing anymore, we're all just people. Gender is almost like religion, it can change, some people are really sure on theirs and others aren't, forcing someone into one is always wrong. Do you know why you're cis? Do you ever think about the possibility that you're not, about what it would be like to be something other then what you were born as. Would you still feel like a woman if you didn't have a womb, if you didn't have breasts or genitals or estrogen? It was a combination of contemplating these things, and mystical experiences with the goddess Hel that got me to realize I was agender. I thought I would lose certain things when becoming nonbinary and genderless, but I didn't. I don't know about you, but know you can be happy as an enby or a boy, you can be loved, and cherished and comforted as an enby or as a boy. I don't know if you're nonbinary like I am. You might find you really do identify with womanhood, but if you do really want to be a woman, then know that that's the same feeling amab women have. I know what it's like to think the way you do, I used to think that way, and I've had bad experiences with men and with the expectations society has for people with bodies like mine. But you don't have to take your pain and call it womanhood.

first of all, i’m not sure what post of mine inspired you to write this yapping-tea-party-ramble, but it is very clear you stumbled upon my account & ran to the inbox without even having read my bio, yet alone any of my posts. i am very open about being trans on here. i make multiple posts and reblog a whole shit ton. i am a trans man, holy fuck– “how do you know you’re cis?”– i’m not!

anatomical differences between females & males are real. you just look funny as hell trying to claim otherwise. the differences being real quite literally allow for sex incongruency to even develop in the first place. biological sex is not a social construct. rigid sex-gender categorizations, which harm intersex, trans, and cis people alike– are social constructs. biological sex itself? no. stop spreading misinformation.

but i just have to post this because. you make an excellent point about gender being like a religion, actually! gender is a cultural, ideological, and religious system based on the oppression of female people, actually! you are exposing “your camp” real bad with this one. radfems never denied the fact that gender is a religion. we are in agreement here. it’s just that you seem to be connecting religion to something morally pure, while i see it as destructive. i do not believe in any gender feels. no one is entitled to play into your gender feels and your woman-man-enby soul. your soul is not gendered. a soul does not exist materially. your system is fallible and idealistic. by all means, believe it in– but, for fuck’s sake– do not force others to also believe in it. you are proving all the “man-hating anti-theist terfy terfs” right when you imply everyone must subscribe to your religious system.

i do not “want to be a woman”. i was born female, and that is my reality. cis women’s womanhood is not the same as trans women’s womanhood is. it’s not violent or bigoted to point that out. both camps have unique experiences & face unique struggles. this still does not negate the fact that most cis women do not, in fact, have any internal “gender feels”– and you’d be surprised as hell if i told you that the majority of trans women do not, either. modern, western trans community is trying to rewrite lgbt history by implying trans people’s experiences are gender role, neuro-sex-oriented; when that has never been the case. i believe a whole shit ton of youth is currently wrongly identifying as trans, or at least for the wrong reasons. either way– some trans people do not have gender identities at all [yes, “agender” is a gender identity], and a lot who do [including myself], do not connect it to any “innate neuro-sex gender-soul feels”, but rather as a way of conceptualizing one’s dysphoria. most, if not all, cis people do not have a gender identity in any way, shape, or form.

you did not “use to think the way i do”, because you do not know what i believe. you didn’t even bother checking my bio, where i explicitly state that i am a trans guy, and a believer of transandrophobia.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Lease Bound is still going - now with bonus sexual assault.

I haven't talked much about Lease Bound here, apart from a post focusing on Blaire Hopburn and one reblog. But the latest page update left me so shocked, so disturbed, that I had to say something about it.

Quick bit of context: It's Chapter 13, and we're back at Yonique, the lesbian bar where bouncer Jaden had that infamous encounter with three trans women. Tonight is Ballroom Night, where both single women and women in relationships can learn to partner dance. But there's an odd number of people, so Jaden is pulled off door duty and enlisted to take part by her fellow bouncers Parniya and Shez:

Jaden: You can't just call "shotty not" before one party is even present! I wasn't even working on that day! Parniya: (hates dancing) Our mistake. We'll take note for next time. Jaden: B-But I'm wearing shorts, so I'm the most under-dressed! Shez: (hates wearing sleeves) That's no worries. Ari's gotcha there! Parniya and Shez: (tossing Jaden into Ari's arms) GOOD LUCK!

Already we've got Jaden being forced to do something against her will. But it gets worse.

Jaden is pulled up on stage in front of the guests and other Yonique staff. Ari, the club's DJ and social media manager, does a quick little magic trick and produces a screen.

And then this happens.

Ari: For my next trick: I'm gonna turn this dweeby bouncer... (moves behind the screen) ...Into a dreamboat! (Ari removes Jaden's t-shirt, shorts and shoes, which fly into the air, along with the chair Jaden had been sitting on) Jaden: HEY! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! (Additional items of clothing fly into the audience) Jaden: ACK! Where are you getting all those clothes?! Ari: Oooh! This one is perfect...!

Ari is giving Jaden a new outfit for Ballroom Night. Before she does that, though, Ari suddenly and without warning removes Jaden's clothes. In front of an audience. Behind a screen, yes, but still very publicly (you can even still see their silhouettes through the screen).

This is sexual assault.

That's not hyperbole. This Australian website explains that "being exposed to sexual behaviour without your consent, such as forcing someone to take their clothes off" (emphasis mine) counts as sexual assault.

Now, technically Ari is taking Jaden's clothes off for her, rather than making Jaden take them off herself, but it's the same principle, isn't it?

And what makes it even worse is that ... I don't think Jaden even wears a bra.

Because in Chapter 10, in a flashback to a make-out scene, her then-girlfriend Alexis cups Jaden's breast, and there's no indication that Jaden had needed to take a bra off first - implying that she doesn't always wear a bra.

What if she happened to not be wearing a bra on Ballroom Night? What if her breasts got exposed to Ari when Ari stripped her of her t-shirt? Wouldn't that be humiliating and degrading?

And Ari is a character we're supposed to like! She's a lesbian working for Yonique, and the Yonique staff are supposed to be the good guys! (Or good gyns, I guess?) The author clearly wants her audience to like these lesbians and bi women more than the trans and enby characters. And yet she has one of her lesbians sexually assault another?!

Compare this to the QT Collective (the LGBTQIA+ university club that Blaire is part of). The worst thing the trans men and enbies do is speculate on Jaden's gender identity based on one photo and a few comments from Blaire, who's only just met her. Prying into the gender identity of a real person, a stranger, is pretty iffy. But it's nowhere near as bad as forcibly taking someone's clothes off.

Not even the trans women in Chapter 3 do anything like this! True, Ginger threatens to assault Jaden, but Jaden is able to stop Ginger before that happens. She's in Bouncer Mode, and prepared to defend herself.

Here, though, not only has she been thrust into a situation she never agreed to be in, but she's been stripped of her clothes by a coworker in front of an audience.

Actually, this isn't the first time Jaden has been in these awkward situations. In Chapter 12, Shez brings Jaden in to assist with her self-defence class, without telling Jaden that's what she's doing, prompting Jaden to think, "What the hell have I gotten myself into...?"

And earlier in Chapter 3, a trio of women flirt with Jaden and try to draw her away from her post. They get pretty touchy, leaning against her. At the time, one could brush it off as a comedy moment, with Jaden being portrayed as a heartthrob who doesn't realise how handsome she is to others, but now it hits different.

But even after everything that had happened with the comic so far, I didn't expect this. At best, it's a comic makeover moment that falls flat. (The Cast Page does say Ari has a "juvenile sense of humour".) At worst, it's a revival of the Predatory Lesbian trope.

In any other story, this behaviour would not be okay. It would be called out, and Ari would face some sort of consequences for her actions, and Jaden would get support. But here, I strongly suspect this will be brushed aside as "just Ari being Ari". Or maybe a commentor will argue that it's not sexual assault and say, "Heaven forbid a woman do anything."

Then again, Blaire did looked pretty shocked at the spectacle. Maybe she'll speak up in future pages, and tell Ari it's not okay to do that to someone. She can be pretty stubborn when she strongly believes in something.

Come on, Blaire! Do it for feminism!

Sexual Assault Resources

For the UK: https://survivorsnetwork.org.uk/resources/

For the US: https://www.nsvrc.org/survivors

For Australia: https://www.nasasv.org.au/support-directory

Feel free to reblog and add more for other countries.