#we're just as trans as the trans women and trans enbies

[genderqueerdykes]

just saw that "you are loved" cuttlefish post on my dash again (idk if you know the one) but it goes through so many identities and just. does not include trans men. pan people, bi people, lesbians, trans women, intersex people, nonbinary people too i think, but not trans men. like maybe I'm taking it the wrong way, maybe I should celebrate that all of these types of people are being celebrated, i especially loved seeing intersex people included, but? the deliberate exclusion just hurts I guess. it would've been so easy to say trans people or just include trans men too.

another thing that makes me feel like I'm just being overly sensitive about it is that I do tend to lean into the nonbinary label sometimes, but it feels very "the only good enby is a femme-lite enby" and I'm. audibly sighing I used to like seeing that post on my dash

i haven't seen the post you're referring to, but i have definitely noticed this with queer positivity posts in general

like people think it's somehow progressive to aggressively leave trans men out of every conversation, ever. like, people have gone too far with profiling people based off their genders to the point where they trick themselves into thinking that trans men are now Cishet Male Oppressors and find excuses and reasons to target, bully, and emotionally abuse us. people literally just think we are undeserving of love and kindness because us disclosing that we're a man suddenly somehow is hurting that person

people are NOWHERE near as aggressive about this with cis gay men. people are not sitting here trying to weed cis gay men out of every space and post as possible. it sends me reeling to realize that people accept cis men more than trans men, even though they love to say how much they hate "all" men. is it really "all" men, or is it just trans men? because it feels very pointed toward a specific group of men that nobody loves to name, but everyone loves to hate.

i know that people who aren't trans men usually can't see the pain this causes us. but so many people just don't care. they assume that we have no feelings because they stereotype men to be emotional brick walls. they think it's okay to leave us out and abuse us because somehow, trans manhood has hurt them. like these people behave like a bus full of trans men showed up at their front door and kicked them to death.

like people really are so threatened by the idea that a "woman" can become a man. why is this an issue?

and good lord that is the ugliest take on nonbinaryhood i've ever seen. "femme-lite". wow. people really just do see nonbinary people as women, huh? nonbinary people aren't cis women jesus fucking christ. masc and butch nonbinary people are still nonbinary and there's nothing wrong with that. jesus christ people are SO scared of diversity. people are SO scared of something they can't relate to.

feminine people and women are not inherently safe to be around. i have been sexually and physically assaulted by multiple women. i have been groped by women. i have had cis women tell me that i'm "basically a woman" because i have a vagina and i'm a trans man. i've had women emotionally and mentally abuse me. women and femmes have stolen things from me. women and femmes are not inherently safe to be around. women and femmes can hurt you.

i'm sorry you're encountering this kind of stuff. people are more proud to talk about who they hate than who they love/like and it's just ugly. they don't care that it's affecting people. but if someone does something to even slightly inconvenience them, like, idk, being a trans man, then suddenly the world grinds to a halt. it's entitled behavior. it's people who want to be in control of the queer community and try to control our narratives.

there are some people who are legitimately a part of the queer community for the wrong reasons. the amount of people who are converting to rad feminism and thinking that the queer community needs to be a Cis Girls Only Club is staggering. people are trying to remove everyone but cis women who are pathologically afraid of an entire gender that hasn't hurt them. this isn't the terf club. stop trying to make this into the terf club.

i hope you're able to feel a bit better soon. people are so fucking shitty and it's time it stops. there's no reason to profile people. that's not what we do here. it's not right to leave people out of our spaces who rightfully belong. ignoring the existence of trans men won't make us go away. we're here and you need to listen to us and care about us because we are your siblings and we have not inherently wronged you by virtue of existing.

[sorinshuto]

I love how much transwomen are loved, it's genuinely great to see

But jesus christ where is the love for transmen? Everyone takes Okiku seriously but they don't take Yamato as seriously, especially in the dub

I follow so many transmen but how often do I see transmen posts vs transwomen posts? I see so many posts about beautiful women and its lovely to see, but where's the love for the men like me?

People will talk all day about girlcock and I love that for them, genuinely, but we need boypussy posts, we need love for the men who arent taken seriously, we need love for the men who dont even look like traditional men, we need love for the cis and trans and intersex men who have to put up with so much androphobia

I love you trans men, I love you cis men, I love you intersex men, if you identify even slightly as male, I fucking love you, I love you with all of my heart, men are amazing, especially trans men, you deserve more than you get and I'm so sorry people don't take you as seriously as you deserve, you deserve the world ♡

[the-acid-pear]

Cropping everything because I know this is just a harmless joke but imagine a girl was like man I sure love manly sports and people went oh you're a transman. straight up. 👍

[moodlesmain]

while im (takes a deep breath to hold back my rage) sympathetic to the fans of Those Wizard Books who're taking a death of the author approach so long as they're not supporting the series financially or actively promoting it and are sticking to fan communities, I really, *really* wish people would put away their merch. Because when I see someone in public with merch from it, I always have to wonder if I'm safe around them as a trans person, if my trans friends are safe. And that's a sucky feeling to have, especially when talking to people who otherwise seems perfectly fine and nice!!! A lot of HP fans are just, people!!! Who maybe don't know what the big deal is, or have chosen to deal with the problem by doubling down to spite the author!! But even when I know for a fact they're totally safe or even trans themselves, I don't want to be constantly reminded of the series whose author is an incredibly rich and powerful person whose whole agenda for the past several years has been to push back against the rights of people like me, and who people like my own god damn mother is more willing to listen to about trans people than her own nonbinary child.

I know it's irrational to feel surges of rage at the mere mention of a popular multimedia franchises, but while I know not every trans person is bothered by it, I also know that a lot of trans people and even allies *are* bothered by it. Just... begging for some understanding, and for people to just PLEASE dial back their fandom-ing in public spaces, especially mostly queer spaces. You don't know how much difference it might make in the comfort and feeling of safety for the trans people around you

[rederiswrites]

Sometimes I'm on here and y'all make posts that just make me go, "you are very young and would benefit from learning something about our culture in the last hundred years".

Yes, people are upset by trans and enby people, because their lives are entirely structured around the different roles of men and women, and the idea that men and women are fundamentally different and inherently suited to their traditional roles. Like, that shouldn't be a big realization. That was a major part of western culture until quite recently, and still is for a great many people. We attack their basic worldview by existing as ourselves. Obviously they're wrong, but that doesn't change the emotion of the situation.

Yes, conservative cis people act like marriage is a chore. For most of history, and certainly US colonial history, marriage was a social and economic necessity that created a working partnership. Attraction was certainly a hoped-for element but not strictly required, and love was a bonus, possibly even a bit suspect as a motivation. It was still like this when my grandparents married. I know couples today who are separated but married for financial reasons. We're not talking about the distant past. Marriage has been many things through the years, and "an equal partnership based on love" is a very recent iteration. Of course our culture is littered with artifacts of the older way. The older way was like...yesterday. Today.

Yes, Grandma has trouble at the grocery store checkout. When she was a kid they had rotary phones and radios, and you paid for everything with cash. She grew up in a culture that taught that childhood was for learning and adulthood was for doing, and now the world is asking her to learn a bunch of new things that basically sound like magic, and she's not even sure she can, and she's not at all sure it's an improvement (and she's got a point, though she might not know it).

There's just....a real lack of perspective. I dunno, watch some documentaries about the fifties. Read some historical novels. Go to the local Victorian house tour.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pressuring my friend to listen to women who make pop music?

(🏳️‍🌈 to find this)

so in my (25M) friend group (mid-20s) we're all at least some flavor of queer - I'm a gay guy, there's two enbies, a trans woman, a lesbian, a pan girl, a bi guy... so this is about the bi guy, let's call him Josh.

Josh is a pretty chill dude, he's a good friend and I can't complain about him as a person. but he listens to very uhh "traditionally" masculine music - I looked up some of the bands from his Spotify playlist and all I could find was, quote "metal, heavy metal, power metal, gothic metal, nu metal, metalcore"... and yk what, I do think some metal artists are fine af with their long hair and their muscles, I do think they have talent... I have NOTHING against them. however it is known their audience has never been particularly queer-friendly. personally I prefer to hype up women and I LOVE pop stars, this isn't just me - some of my online mlm friends love women pop stars as much as I do.

I started telling Josh he could get into pop artists as well. he's respectful when it comes to what I like but he's not into it. I won't lie to you I feel like he just says it's not his kind of music without even giving it a chance. I kept telling him to try, and eventually Josh told me to stop pressuring him. he also said something like "dude there's no right or wrong way to be queer, I'm bi regardless of what I listen to". tbh I had no idea I was making him feel that way. I apologized bc I felt like an asshole who "gatekeeps" being queer, but I'm also a dramatic overthinker so was I TAH in this situation or am I just thinking too much?

[forgotten-daydreamer]

I love how inclusivity is handled in The Dragon Prince, here's why.

In most shows, as much as it bothers me to admit so, some people are right, inclusivity does feel forced sometimes. But it's not the characters' fault, it's not because of them being part of the lgbtq+ community, or being disabled, or being POC, or being strong women who do not conform to patriarchal standards.

It's not that.

It's that the show they are part of is a straight, white, abled parade - and notice, most of said shows won't even pass the Bechdel test.

So yes, in a show written by and aimed to straight, white, abled people, even I, a gay, non-binary, chronically ill person feel weird seeing charcters that are there just for the sake of inclusivity, albeit 'inorganic'.

In a show with the premise of "straight, white, abled men are the indiscussed MCs", seeing that one side-character that stands out and is often ridiculed and/or reduced to a single trait of their 'personality', such as 'the gay one', 'the asian one', 'the disabled one' (etc) is upsetting and feels uncomfortable as hell.

But TDP is different.

They immediately introduced powerful women, people of color, characters that are openly part of the lgbtq+ community, disabled characters etc. And not one of them per 'category', no. For the lgbtq+ community we have Amaya, Janai, Runaan, Ethari, Terry, Kazi. For the disabled community, we have Amaya again, Villads, and even a disabled wolf Ava. For the POC community, we have literally half of the cast, starting from King Harrow, then Ezran, every sunfire elf, Terry as well, etc. Same goes for women, who take up on roles that are rarely considered 'for women', like Opeli being the main member of the High Council, Amaya being the General, Rayla being the main Dragon Guard, Claudia being one of the main antagonists, etc.

Both main and side-characters are part of the communities, everything is so much more organic, enjoyable, thrilling.

We do not come in 'minor quantity'.

We are everywhere, among others, living our lives, doing our best, existing, thriving, proud. It's not just one or two of us among thousands. Surprise, 'categories' can mix! Just like I, a real human being, can be gay, enby as well as chronically ill, we can have characters like that as well! Amaya being lesbian and disabled, Terry being black and trans, Janai being black and lesbian, etc. And, another surprise, 'categories' don't define us. We don't 'shove it' in anyone's face like they say we do, we're just being us and cishets are upset because we don't conform to their sick standards.

Inclusivity is organic in TDP because nobody in that universe questions anyone else's color, gender, orientation, etc. And it's organic because we didn't have to wait half a season to see a black character, or a disabled character, or a gay character.

The key to inclusivity is to realise that we aren't just 'bonuses'. Fill shows and comics with lgbtq+, POC, disabled, and female characters. Not just one every 15, 20 characters. Everywhere.

We are everywhere! We are proud! We deserve to be seen! We deserve to be depicted as the normal people we are, without diminishing our traits but without making them our whole personality either. Treat us like human beings, be considerate like you should be with everyone on the planet of course, but treat us like humans.

Antagonising people who are 'different' (in the mind of straight, white, abled people) will not suppress us. We will keep insisting until you hear us. It's literally one of the main messages, one of the main teachings of TDP and it's so damn important.

Every single person on Earth should watch it. Every single kid should be introduced to TDP at an early age. Every old bigot should watch it, as well. Everybody. Even if it's considered a y7 (y10 for s4 and s5 apparently) show, everyone, no matter their age, should give it a try and watch it thoroughly.

Lots of love to the creators and everyone, literelly everyone involved in the production of one the best, most entertaining, most exciting, most formative shows ever. Please, keep it up! And thank you so much!

[this-is-exorsexism]

I just saw a post about how transmasc and transfem aren't labels you can "opt out of," how if you transition like this then you ARE transmasc and if you transition like that then you ARE transfem, whether you like it or not. Because it's just a "fact" about your transition, not an identity.

And it just made me so sad. I'm transneutral. Sure, my transition might look binary to an outside observer. Yeah, people might look at me now and see me as far more masculine than I was before I transitioned. But that's other people. Not me.

Does this count as exorsexism? I feel like it does but I'm also worried that they're right, and maybe my identity is offensive and maybe I AM lying for not calling myself transmasc. I don't know. I just feel really bad and insecure right now.

this is exorsexism.

through and through.

i'm assuming this post was by a trans person, because cis people tend to be less educated about trans terminology in the first place, and will often just parrot whatever is popular but not think of it any further.

a lot of trans people, even some nonbinary people, seem to be really invested in upholding the gender binary in its various forms. "these are the two options you have, and you cannot be neither" is just gender binary 2.0.

people want to group especially nonbinary people by our AGAB, because a lot of people can't handle the fact that us simply saying "i'm nonbinary" doesn't give them any information about our AGAB, about "where we came from" the way that "trans woman" or "trans man" does. never mind the fact that some intersex people who were (c)afab are trans women and some intersex people who were (c)amab are trans men, but these people usually aren't just exorsexist, they're intersexist too. if the term "trans woman" doesn't necessarily tell you what gender someone was assigned at birth anymore, apparently the term loses all its meaning, since everything hinges on AGAB... somehow. but i digress.

and people have definitely started using transmasculine and transfeminine as "acceptable" shorthands for AGAB language, whether they admit it or not. if you were afab, your only options are cis woman, trans man or transmasculine nonbinary, and if you're transmasculine nonbinary we treat you like a man anyway, and vice versa for amab folk.

bonus points if it all hinges on transition steps, i.e. if you were amab and take oestrogen, you're automatically transfem regardless of how you identify (and if you don't take enough transition steps you're basically cis anyway - their line of thinking, not mine).

because we're definitely dismantling cissexism by still acting as if hormones are inherently masculine or feminine. we're definitely deconstructing the gender binary by just changing the words from male and female to transmasc and transfem. (heavy sarcasm)

so much of it goes back to people really just upholding cissexism and the binary, probably without even realising it. by saying it's about "what we were born as" or about how we transition, people are just using the same violence on nonbinary people as cis people use on all trans people. just because cis people assume you're masculine, trans people somehow think it's what you want and do it as well.

transmasc and transfem nonbinary people obviously exist. it's part of many people's identity. others actually do just use the term as a shorthand to what they're transitioning from, where they're transitioning to, how they're transitioning, certain experiences of transmisia, etc. and that's fine - if you use it like that for yourself and don't force it onto others.

and people also love framing words that have a heavy nonbinary association as somehow offensive, dirty or otherwise bad. people will go so far to avoid saying the word "nonbinary", they hate the word "enby", in fact, they hate when we have any term that is more specific than nonbinary, and they also hate our trans- terms, be it transneutral, transandrogynous or the many others. they really hate when we're actually somewhat equal.

[talisidekick]

The patriarchy isn't gendered in it's evil. It's a collaborative approach. It can't uphold itself if there aren't women and men supporting it's views.

We talk about toxic masculinity and the threats men pose with the power and privilege given to them under patriarchal systems, but what about the toxic femininity wielded by misogynistic women? What about the unique level of power the patriarchy gives to women who conform, and strips from women, men, non-binary, etc. who do not?

There's women who uphold the patriarchy, and they are the backbone to the whole structure. The validation and vindication to do the harm it does to others.

If you need a taste, take a look at how 'gender critical' and transphobic women justify why trans women aren't women. They use 'biological essentialism', the same ideology that gives patriarchal men the absolute ability to prey on women citing a biological need that absolves them of guilt and wrong doing, to paint transgender women as nothing but predatory men by matter of biology. That by being born sexually male, an AMAB person can never be a woman because they are bound exclusively by biological whims they cannot control that AFAB people do not have. They don't chastise cisgender men for this supposed biological difference, as if it's okay to have these supposed 'uncontrollable urges' being a cisgender man. They further back up this false claim by pointing to any behavior if transgender women that is loud, flashy, gaudy, dominant, etc. claiming that even identifying as women, we're unable to act like women, as if to say that being a woman is to act modest, quiet, submissive, etc. I remember not men, but women and mothers telling their children not to speak unless spoken to, not to complain, not to dress flashy, etc, to their daughters growing up. Never their sons.

Toxic femininity is real, it exists, and it supports the same system toxic masculinity does and I want to see crumble. I want a world filled with just as many loud, gaudy, flashy, and rebellious girls, women, enbies, etc. as I see men.

I need three things from the world:

I need cisgender women and men who are staunchly against the patriarchy to stop treating the transgender assault by 'gender criticals' as a "trans only issue".

I need people to recognize that men, cisgender and transgender, aren't an inherent enemy, which means learning to identify toxic masculinity from masculinity. Which is essentially learning that anytime masculinity or an aspect of it is framed as "above women" or "above other men", and "below women" or "below other men"; that it's the toxic kind of masculinity.

I need people to recognize women, cisgender and transgender, aren't the inherent victims, which means learning to identify toxic femininity from femininity. Which is essentially learning any time femininity or an aspect of it is framed as "below men" or "above other women", and "above men" or "below other women"; that it's the toxic kind of femininity.

Ending the binary gender hierarchy is how this system fails. Masculinity and femininity under a patriarchal system is oppressively wielded against women, men, those outside the gender binary, and those that exist within but don't conform, but masculinity and femininity are not it's tools. It appropriates them, and redefines them to hurt those it wants to force into a mold. It makes existing outside it's definitions painful where the easy salvation is conformity.

I propose a different tactic: rebellion.

[just-your-average-cryptid]

i'm not even in this conversation but it's pissing me off so hi. transmasc enby here to explain what some of y'all are missing about the term

transandro/phobia

see that? see what i did there?

it's not trans/androphobia, it's transandro/phobia

it's not "bigotry against men: trans edition," it's "bigotry against trans men/mascs specifically"

"but androphobia isn't real!!" yeah we know. "just use transmisogyny or transphobia!!" those don't describe bigotry against transmasculinity - transphobia is broad and transmisogyny is directed towards bigotry against transfemininity.

like transmisogyny, it's about the intersection; not just bigotry against women or just bigotry against trans people, but a combination of both.

it's about bigotry that targets and affects transmasculinity - bigotry centered on that intersection.

"but men aren't targeted by bigotry!!" cis men aren't. if you think every trans man 100% passes and is instantly accepted as a man by general society... you're just wrong ok this shouldn't be shocking. breaking news transphobes are transphobic to all trans people.

"but why does it have to be -androphobia?!" well, trans/phobia and trans/misogyny have a specific structure, and since there is no established term for bigotry against men bc there isn't bigotry against men outside of failing at patriarchal norms (which is just misogyny again,) "transandro" or transmasculinity + "phobia" or bigotry against gives you... transandro/phobia.

"but why do you even need a term for yourselves?!" ...because transphobes target and attack transmaculinity differently than transfemininity? did y'all forget about "Irreversible Damage?" about "poor confused girls pressured to become boys?" about "wow she's so ugly after taking HRT, should've stayed a nice pretty girl and kept her mouth shut, those evil trans people manipulating our daughters into mutilating themselves, they're just trying to escape misogyny, they're just trying to cheat their way out and leave us behind, they're never going to accept you, you'll always be a girl, you'll always be miserable so just accept it already."

yeah. transmascs have our own issues, same way transfems have their own issues compared to the trans community at large. its... not radical to say that we're affected differently and we want the language to talk about it.

stop eating your own and focus on the actual problem: the people who want to legislate us out of existence, and if that's too slow, with bullets instead of bathroom bills.

[genderqueerdykes]

im not sorry the truth of the transmasculine experience is ugly. i'm not sorry that we have to frequently discuss sexual and physical violence and abuse. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss violent physical abuse and death. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss homelessness, mental illness, addiction, disabilities, and other challenges in life.

we struggle. we do not instantly gain male privilege the second we come out. even if we pass. when someone knows we're trans we're treated like a woman no matter what. we can sometimes get lucky and pass with strangers but eventually people around us find out because people tell each other without our consent.

we face all kinds of abuse due to the fact that people feel entitlement to our bodies, regardless of what our AGAB is. they feel entitled to our faces, our hair, our entire appearance. they focus on the face that we're ruining something "pretty". they threaten corrective sexual violence to remind us that we're "just women". it happens constantly. this is not an isolated incident and virtually nobody wants people to talk about it when it comes to transmasculine people.

trans men often get injured for one reason or another. usually because someone wants to make them "prove" they're a man, to "toughen them up" or to "prove to them that they're a woman". sometimes this results in sexual assault. other times it results in physical assault. and sometimes people just kill trans men. all because they hate that a "woman" can transition into a man.

it's an ugly part of our reality but it needs to be discussed because otherwise people use the lack of that conversation as ammunition to say transmascs don't struggle.

transmasculine people struggle to stay housed. transmasculine people get kicked out of their living situations very often for many reasons. it's hard for transmascs to get jobs because often times people want either a man or a woman for a specific position and fuss over what they think the transmasc's gender is. misgendering is a huge issue at work. going stealth at work can be painful. being in the closet at work can be painful

transmascs are often disabled and struggle to get care due to people not taking AFAB patients' pain and symptoms seriously. this is a huge issue with any kind of AFAB person or any woman. all woman and AFAB people struggle with having their symptoms taken seriously when seeking serious medical attention to the point of possibly being undiagnosed for life, thus being unable to get on disability. trans women face this just as much as AFAB cis women, it's a huge issue in the medical industry

transmasculine people struggle to say on their hormones (or access them at all). testosterone is a controlled substance in many countries which means that you need a prior authorization to get the medication and need to consistently see a provider to get blood tests and check ups. it can be difficult to do so if you are low income and sometimes certain pharmacists will intentionally find ways to withhold hormones due to their own prejudices

transmasculine people struggle to get pregnancy support and care. it is very difficult for transmasculine people to figure out how to navigate their pregnancy, either due to their HRT provider not knowing much about pregnancy, or having a gynecologist who's not familiar with transmasculine health.

transmascs get denied from spaces made for men constantly. even if they pass, if word gets around that they're trans they can easily be kicked out of a space. transmasculine lesbians are often removed from lesbian, transmasc and/or non binary spaces. transmasc butches are often ostracized from all communities their identities correlate to. trans men and transmasc enbies are seen as a threat to women.

there is ugliness in every pocket of the queer community when it comes to how cisheteronormative society treats us. we all face disgusting treatment that needs to be addressed. it's important to consider how this system affects everyone underneath it. we need to talk about the positive things, it's good to help those are questioning, but we also must discuss what struggles we face in order to humanize ourselves and show that we people, too. none of us have it easy.

[atinycherrykitty]

MEN AND MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG! THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH ANY OF MY POSTS! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!

Why good evening my darlings

Call me Cherry. I'm 20, non-binary (they/she pronouns), and hella fucking lesbian.

I've been lurking on sapphic nsft tumblr for a while now and I decided to bit the bullet and made an account.

Let's lay some ground rules, shall we?

This is my safe space first and foremost. It is a place for me to express myself in ways I can't in my life. Violating this will get you blocked.

DNI include: Men, minors (that means under the age of 18), bigots, MAGA cult, blogs that post r@pe or In$est k1nk, DD/LG, pro-shippers, ed/sh blogs, will update as needed.

To interact with this blog you MUST have your age and pronouns in your bio or pinned or someplace where it is easy to read. 18+ is not enough.

My asks are open, for women and enby sapphics only. I am a lesbian, I am only attracted to sapphics, and I only want to be horny with sapphics.

If those labels apply to you, you can send me dirty asks, or just chat! I'd love both! If you're gonna send nasty stuff, make sure they align with the stuff I like.

Also if you're going to sext in my ask box as an anon please leave ur age add pronouns so I can address you properly.

My dms are closed, unless we're mutuals or I give you permission to dm me. I don't send pictures.

I may or may not post some of my audios or NSFW writing here tho. If you ask nicely (seriously please be polite I don't like it when people are rude. Kinky or not)

I will add more here if I think of them

Great, now that that's out of the way, here's a little bit about me!

I am a super chatty person. I will come into your ask box and do whatever you feel comfortable with, because I would like to make some horny lesbian moots.

I am very flexible. Ask me why.

I am here for all types of sapphics. Trans, cis, femme, butch, stud, bi, pan, uhhhh I'm out of descriptors but you get the point

I loooooove having long nails <3 I may be non-binary but I tend to present femme

I'm a very creative person in a STEM major 🥲

Also if you read this all the rules, you are now obligated to come into my ask box and say hello or ask me a question. Do it. Now. Or you will RUE THE DAY, I'm just kidding but please cum say hi!

Claimed anons: 🦴, 🫧, 🦇, 🎀, 💫

[dropoutconfessions]

As a trans man, the issue with the lack of trans fems on Dropout is understandable but an overreaction. There aren't many trans men on Dropout either (not counting nonbinary people like Ally Beardsley or Alex Song-Xia because they're enby not trans men).

Dropout has shown their allyship time and time again with Persephone Valentine and their nonbinary cast members, so complaining about the lack of trans femmes is kind of extra imo. We're not complaining about the lack of trans men.

Aabria blocking people is neither here nor there, because she is an individual and not representative of Dropout as a whole.

If you're going to complain about the lack of trans women, complain about the lack of trans men too, but even then it's kind of ridiculous. This company shows their allyship well and nitpicking about their lack of a specific Identity is odd and weird.

Okay you are aware that transfems is not an equal sized group to trans men right? Because we're not talking about just trans women or trans men, we are also talking about enbies. So we do have to count Ally and Alex when discussing this.

I'd also like to say, maybe you haven't complained about the lack of trans men. But I have (on my actual main where I actually talk about trans issues and not on this side blog).

At the end of the day, it feels like you're missing the fact that lack of transfem representation (Persephone Valentine should not be carrying transfem representation on her back like this), people working at Dropout blocking people who talk about it when you actively listen to other issues that are brought up, these are all canary in a coal mine statements. None of these are damning in and of themselves. But we have fair reason to get the ick here.

[justalittleratman]

idea: instead of afab and amab, we could say cisfem-perceived and cismasc-perceived?

I've been meaning to talk about cisperception for a while, which is a term i made up to talk about the differences in experiences by people who are visibly trans, and people who are perceived as cis (regardless of if they are or not) and i just thought it could maybe be used in this way also

are there any obvious reasons for this to be a bad idea that I'm missing? /gen

more explanations and elaborations on the terms below :3 (quite long)

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cisfem-perceived would mean a person that is perceived as a cisfeminine person (going away from female/woman to include intersex people that are not necessarily perceived as women but are still perceived as fem, as well as removing any mention or reference to sex and focusing on gender instead), meaning that their gender expression is perceived as being the gender expression of a cisfem person.

in discussions about trans non-binary people, I've seen a lot of reluctance from trans *binary* people to call those who are not visibly trans, trans, because there is a difference in experience between trans people who are visibly trans, and those who "pass" as cis. specifically trans non-binary people whose gender expressions aren't androgynous and conform to binary gender norms. i felt the need to use a new term because the language used to discuss the differences in experiences would often be transphobic or could be perceived as transphobic. i wanted a way to talk about it with language that wouldn't imply or give the impression that cisperceived trans people are not trans enough to be considered trans. because they ARE trans. i also wanted to move away from "passing" in my language because it's very unclear, subjective, etc. I think using language around perception shifts the focus on how people view us and *their* perception, rather than if we have achieved something arbitrary in our transition such as "passing" or not. (if this is unclear i can elaborate)

i think it's important to note differences in experience because the transphobia that cisperceived trans people and transperceived trans people are subjected to is very different. (not trans enough vs too trans) ((i can elaborate if wanted/needed but i think we're all aware of the different forms transphobia can take and how gender expression modifies what types we're subjected to))

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examples :

non-binary person whose gender expression aligns with cisfem gender expression: cisfem-perceived

non-binary person whose gender expression is gender non conforming: trans-perceived/gnc-perceived and/or anything else that the person feels is accurate for them

transfem person who has not started transitioning yet: cismasc-perceived

intersex person whose gender expression aligns with cisfem gender expression: cisfem-perceived

intersex person whose gender expression is ambiguous, gender non-conforming, etc : trans-perceived, enby-perceived , intersex-perceived (this term would be exclusive to intersex people) , and/or anything else they feel is accurate to them

transmasc person who has started transitioning and is visibly trans : trans-perceived / transmasc-perceived / queer-perceived, etc

transfem person whose gender expression doesn't conform to fem conformity : trans-perceived / transfem-perceived or even cismasc-perceived when talking about contexts in which they are treated like other cismasc people (example: exclusion from "everything but men" spaces), etc

pls let me know if you have questions/need me to elaborate <33

also feel free to point out if anything i said is insensitive, incorrect, transphobic, intersexphobic, etc /gen /nf

[manicsystemic]

Trans girls and boygirl lesbians are on the same side. We're friends. Sometimes we're couples. Dont fall for the terfs telling us to fight each other. 😥 Trans women, trans men, enbies anywhere, we're all trans and we all broke the gender binary because it told us to be cis. Gender is fake

Telling a transfem lesbian "But a 'trans man lesbian' would go out with you how can we be oppressing you if we're attracted to you" is not the positive you think it is, I'm fucking fetishized by men on the street, men who are my coworkers, and men who are creeps on the internet all the time, that doesn't make them my allies.

Yes trans people inherently defy the bioessentialism of patriarchal gender binary, but my gender is not fucking 'fake', I built it out of scraps I've had beaten out of me by my parents, teachers, elders, coaches, and peers, just like how I've had to rip my sexuality out of the claws of conversion therapists and lesbophobes who abused the idea into me that women will always be into men one way or another.

Your platitudes mean nothing when the inherent message is 'hey don't have boundaries around your identity of being a non-man who loves only non-men why can't we be men and be included?' You aren't respecting me when I say 'no, I'm not attracted to any men, even if they're just fluid between it and something else', why should I expect you to respect anything else about me?

This literally all comes back to simple respect and boundaries. Do you respect that I am actually a woman? Do you respect that I will never be attracted to any kind of men? Will you respect any of my fucking boundaries? Because I'll be honest I tried to talk it out with 'bi lesbian's and 'trans man lesbian's on twitter before I left there and every foolish concession I made was met with trespassing my boundaries, disrespecting my consent and identity with every bit I thought would make them happy to take. I have nothing but vitriol for you people anymore, go fuck yourself if you cannot respect the fact that my identity as a lesbian will always exclude all men.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Lease Bound is still going - now with bonus sexual assault.

I haven't talked much about Lease Bound here, apart from a post focusing on Blaire Hopburn and one reblog. But the latest page update left me so shocked, so disturbed, that I had to say something about it.

Quick bit of context: It's Chapter 13, and we're back at Yonique, the lesbian bar where bouncer Jaden had that infamous encounter with three trans women. Tonight is Ballroom Night, where both single women and women in relationships can learn to partner dance. But there's an odd number of people, so Jaden is pulled off door duty and enlisted to take part by her fellow bouncers Parniya and Shez:

Jaden: You can't just call "shotty not" before one party is even present! I wasn't even working on that day! Parniya: (hates dancing) Our mistake. We'll take note for next time. Jaden: B-But I'm wearing shorts, so I'm the most under-dressed! Shez: (hates wearing sleeves) That's no worries. Ari's gotcha there! Parniya and Shez: (tossing Jaden into Ari's arms) GOOD LUCK!

Already we've got Jaden being forced to do something against her will. But it gets worse.

Jaden is pulled up on stage in front of the guests and other Yonique staff. Ari, the club's DJ and social media manager, does a quick little magic trick and produces a screen.

And then this happens.

Ari: For my next trick: I'm gonna turn this dweeby bouncer... (moves behind the screen) ...Into a dreamboat! (Ari removes Jaden's t-shirt, shorts and shoes, which fly into the air, along with the chair Jaden had been sitting on) Jaden: HEY! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! (Additional items of clothing fly into the audience) Jaden: ACK! Where are you getting all those clothes?! Ari: Oooh! This one is perfect...!

Ari is giving Jaden a new outfit for Ballroom Night. Before she does that, though, Ari suddenly and without warning removes Jaden's clothes. In front of an audience. Behind a screen, yes, but still very publicly (you can even still see their silhouettes through the screen).

This is sexual assault.

That's not hyperbole. This Australian website explains that "being exposed to sexual behaviour without your consent, such as forcing someone to take their clothes off" (emphasis mine) counts as sexual assault.

Now, technically Ari is taking Jaden's clothes off for her, rather than making Jaden take them off herself, but it's the same principle, isn't it?

And what makes it even worse is that ... I don't think Jaden even wears a bra.

Because in Chapter 10, in a flashback to a make-out scene, her then-girlfriend Alexis cups Jaden's breast, and there's no indication that Jaden had needed to take a bra off first - implying that she doesn't always wear a bra.

What if she happened to not be wearing a bra on Ballroom Night? What if her breasts got exposed to Ari when Ari stripped her of her t-shirt? Wouldn't that be humiliating and degrading?

And Ari is a character we're supposed to like! She's a lesbian working for Yonique, and the Yonique staff are supposed to be the good guys! (Or good gyns, I guess?) The author clearly wants her audience to like these lesbians and bi women more than the trans and enby characters. And yet she has one of her lesbians sexually assault another?!

Compare this to the QT Collective (the LGBTQIA+ university club that Blaire is part of). The worst thing the trans men and enbies do is speculate on Jaden's gender identity based on one photo and a few comments from Blaire, who's only just met her. Prying into the gender identity of a real person, a stranger, is pretty iffy. But it's nowhere near as bad as forcibly taking someone's clothes off.

Not even the trans women in Chapter 3 do anything like this! True, Ginger threatens to assault Jaden, but Jaden is able to stop Ginger before that happens. She's in Bouncer Mode, and prepared to defend herself.

Here, though, not only has she been thrust into a situation she never agreed to be in, but she's been stripped of her clothes by a coworker in front of an audience.

Actually, this isn't the first time Jaden has been in these awkward situations. In Chapter 12, Shez brings Jaden in to assist with her self-defence class, without telling Jaden that's what she's doing, prompting Jaden to think, "What the hell have I gotten myself into...?"

And earlier in Chapter 3, a trio of women flirt with Jaden and try to draw her away from her post. They get pretty touchy, leaning against her. At the time, one could brush it off as a comedy moment, with Jaden being portrayed as a heartthrob who doesn't realise how handsome she is to others, but now it hits different.

But even after everything that had happened with the comic so far, I didn't expect this. At best, it's a comic makeover moment that falls flat. (The Cast Page does say Ari has a "juvenile sense of humour".) At worst, it's a revival of the Predatory Lesbian trope.

In any other story, this behaviour would not be okay. It would be called out, and Ari would face some sort of consequences for her actions, and Jaden would get support. But here, I strongly suspect this will be brushed aside as "just Ari being Ari". Or maybe a commentor will argue that it's not sexual assault and say, "Heaven forbid a woman do anything."

Then again, Blaire did looked pretty shocked at the spectacle. Maybe she'll speak up in future pages, and tell Ari it's not okay to do that to someone. She can be pretty stubborn when she strongly believes in something.

Come on, Blaire! Do it for feminism!

Sexual Assault Resources

For the UK: https://survivorsnetwork.org.uk/resources/

For the US: https://www.nsvrc.org/survivors

For Australia: https://www.nasasv.org.au/support-directory

Feel free to reblog and add more for other countries.