#we're fucking similar but he's taller

[danaridana]

I don't kin him HE kins me

[thatstupidplant]

So, I said I wohld have been gone for a while...

But I saw this artpeace  by @isjasz (her tumblr) and it became my reason to live

So... Enjoy this oneshot while it last :D

Ps: I wanted to post it on AO3 too, but I don't have an account and I found out there is a FUCKING WAITING LIST, LIKE- WHYYYY I DON'T WANNA WAIT FOR MAY 18TH

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Hotguy looked at at the city from the ceiling, it all looked to peaceful during the night.

He immediately forgot what he was here for though, which was a problem and a very Scar thing to do. But unfortunately he wasn't allowed to be Scar at the moment. His train of though stopped when an arrow almost hit him.

Ah yes, Cuteguy.

Cuteguy wasn't the best one with bow and arrows, he was way better at a close battle, but he was good enough to startle Hotguy when needed. In this moment it was needed.

Hotguy turned around to see who almost made him blind, ready to trasform to atoms whoever attacked him, but his face got painted with a smile as soon as he looked at the slim figure above him, in a near roof trying his best not to die of laughter.

Scaf realized that the painter decorating his face also, accidentally, splashed a little bit of red.

Just a tiny bit, hard to see without the mask and impossible with it.

"Hotguy, wasn't expecting you to be early" the avian figure said while getting closer.

While the pink and white wings made an awfull distraction, the taller hero remembered that Cuteguy had to talk to him about something important

"Why do you think I'd be late? I wouldn't want my darling to wait" The taller hero said while jokingly kissing the other hero's hand.

Until he noticed something.

The mask was normal, his wings were normal, but the outfit was different: Cuteguy usually wore a white and pink attire, which made him the 'opposite' of Hotguy, but today he was wearing black shirt and pants with his jacket. That was his 'hidden' outfit, used when the avian wasn't meant to be seen (it was something Hotguy didn't need as much as Cuteguy because his outfit was already pretty dark)

Hotguy had dark hair, Cuteguy's were light; Hotguy was tall, Cuteguy had the intention to be; Hotguy was flirtous while Cuteguy was...

"Are you listening to me?"

Scar mind said no, but his expression said 'please don't ask me that'

"Oh yeah, totally"

Cuteguy folded his hands. A suspicious expression on his face.

"Then what did I say?"

Yep. He was screwed.

The brunette hero searched is memory, but it was empty.

"Youu... weerreee.... talking about... safety?"

"No."

Fuck

Yes, Hotguy was kind of screwed now.

"Ok, ok, I wasn't listening"

Scar said while moving his hands. Cuteguy slapped his face muttering something similar a 'this idiot', but Scar didn't hear it well.

"I was talking about what the public think of us!"

"And what does the public think of us?"

The avian started to mentally pray God to, please, have a smarter partner. But he started to remember all the time Hotguy had brillant ideas and hated the fact that he was just too innocent to be an adult man.

"The fact that everyone thinks we're dating, Hotguy"

Scar stopped. No, it wasn't Hotguy, it was Scar. The man hid his fear with the flirtuois smile and the confident attitude, but he couldn't lie saying the though of kissing those lips interested him...

'No Scar, you can fuck your collegue'

"And what is we made it true?"

Hotguy started to walk towards Cuteguy, with his sicure composure,a playful smile and an emotion Cuteguy couldn't innitially recognize.

But when the realization came, it made his stomach go upside down. Why did Hoteguy had lust in his eyes? He always joked about kissing him, calling him 'his boyfriend', offering his hand and playful flirting like these.

'Cuteguy' didn't have something to complain about it, but Grian hated how his face would become more and more like the red of his natural wings color.

He started walking back, searching to escape the bumping of his heart. He hit the border of the roof that, fortunately and unfortunately, had a small wall. He sat on the wall and waited. Hotguy stopped right infront of his face, looking in his eyes. Grian made his 'Cuteguy' mask fell off and decided to relax, just relax, even if Hotguy was always clingy it was rare to have him this close so maybe he should have just enjoyed the momeng. His expression calmed down, the sleepyness of the middle of the night appeared.

"So... do you accept my offe-"

Hotguy almost jumped when CUteguy's head landed on his shoulder. If you asked him, he would have said he was completely calm, but his heartrate said something else. Did Cuteguy really fell asleep on him? What was he suppose to do now?

"I'm not asleep, I just want..." Cute guys without continuing and putting his arms behind Hotguy's back.

They both remained there, too scared to scare the moment away by moving. After what we can count as some seconds, but for them seemed hours, Hotguy put his hands on Cuteguy's back making it the best hug Grian recieved in years.

When was the last time he was hugged like this? When was the last time someone cared so much?

They stayed there, waiting for the morning as the sun started rising from behind.

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Author's note:

Idk if I like it or not, maybe I could make a second attempt in the future.

Anygays, gor now this is it, it was a pleasure feeling some Scarian, something that I will do more in the future with a ne-

*COFF COFF*

I MEAN... EH EH... NOTHING!

[man3at3r-mp4]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖇- 𝕳𝖍 𝖝 𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

Chapter 3- Family feud

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 (𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞)

               𝐁𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐦𝐚 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧

                             

                              ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

                 

                    1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

Prologue Chapter 3.5

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

  "YOUR HIGHNESS!!!"

Liam's loud, shreeky voice called out to you. But you could care less, as you stormed out of the ball room, practically ripping off the uncomfortable and itchy gown you were forced to be fitted in.

The clicking of your hooves tapped against the crystal tiles of the floor, as you stomped off. You didn't know, you just wanted to get out of there. You picked up your pace as you heard the door slam open, and three pairs of footsteps following after you.

"Oh c'mon babe, where are you going?" You heard Adam call after you.

"Somewhere away from the three is you!" you snapped back, as you crossed your arms, one of your ears flicking in irritation.

"Your highness!" Liam spoke up, following not far after you, Adam and Lute.. "I understand your frustrations, but you shouldn't run off like that!" he clutched the schedule to his chest.

"Your highness, don't act to brash" Lute scoffs. Your eyebrow twitched at her words, but you continued to walk.

"Well I sure don't.." the exorcist angel quipped, "not to be a dick or anything, but you running off mid way through my sentence was a bitch move"

Your eye twitched, as you shot Adam a glare over your shoulder, causing him to blink as he shrugged his shoulders in confusion, "what?"

That got you to stop, you swiftly turned around and gave the other male the harshest glare you could muster, "What the hell do you mean WHAT?!?" Your ears were slightly pinned down. Apparently your yelling caught them both off guard.

"I just found out that my sister agreed to give you my hand in marriage and no one bothered to FUCKING tell me!" You growled, stomping your hooves on the ground, you were so enraged you didn't notice how you actually created a dent in the floor from how hard you were stomping.

"Your highness, language-" Liam interrupted.

"OH KISS MY ASS LIAM!" You pointed your finger at him, as steam huffed out of your nose. This caused the said Angel, to squeak as he shrieked back.

"Woah babe, chill out-"

"CHILL OUT?!?" You only got louder, "I'M BEING MARRIED OFF LIKE SOME FUCKING 16 CENTURY PRINCESS!! NO ONE EVEN BOTHERED TO ASK ME!" as you continued on with your rant, you were unaware of how you were actually getting taller. Actually, you were growing in size, as your usual e/c were now replaced with a golden glow, your horns elongated and sharpened, as you continued to grow. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO ASK ME! YOU WENT STRAIGHT TO SERA!" Your voice deepened and became more echoey as you finally stopped growing. Your head touched the ceiling, as you had to get on all fours and duck your head down to Adam and Liam's level. You blew a puff of steam out of your nose at the exorcist, as you finished.

"Holy shit..." Adam murmured, his eyes wide in surprise. Liam and Lute held similar expressions. You expected him, to apologize and be a bit scared if not intimidated of you but this is Adam we're talking about.

"YOU CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING KAIJU?!?" He shouts, "oh that's so fucking sick!".

Liam and Lute shared a look before the female exorcist sighed, "Sir...I don't think this is the right ti-"

"Shut up Lute." Adam cut her off, resulting in Lute groaning and rolling her eyes. You blinked, taken aback from his response.

"Really is that what you're focusing on? And not the rest of what I said?" You asked, in a deadpan voice.

"Well duh, you never fucking told me you could do this" he says, as he placed his hands on his hips, glancing at you up in down. "Fuck, this is kinda doing it for me. I'd thought I'd never be into the whole size difference thing but maybe for our honeymoon you could-"

You growled again, your hooves scraping against the ground as you released another puff of steam from your nose. Liam took notice of this and shrieked, "Adam! Cut it out!" He pleaded. "You're making it worse!"

Lute nodded, "Sir, you're only angering him even more! Can you save your horny bullshit for later!" She said through gritted teeth gesturing over to you.

Adam huffs, "Fuck, fine..whatever I'll wait for him to be done with his little temper tantrum.."

"TEMPER TANTRUM?!?" You roared again.

"Oh no..." Liam squeaked, shrinking back into his wings. Lute only face palmed, at Adam's stupidity.

Fortunately, before you could do anything a familiar voice interrupted you.

"What is the meaning of this?!" A motherly voice spoke, It was Sera. Her voice booming throughout the room, as her wings folded gracefully against her back.

"Is everything okay?!?" A familiar younger looking angel called out, it was Emily and it was obvious she was concerned by her slight pout and furrowed eyebrows.

They both gasped as they noticed your monstrous form. "Y/n!!" Emily cried, as she quickly flew over. "What happened?" She frowned.

Meanwhile Sera was a lot less gentle with her tone. "Y/n! Stop this nonsense at once, whatever you're angry at shouldn't warrant this reaction!" She scoffed. "You're shaking the entire palace! Everyone in heaven can hear you!"

You huffed, "Well maybe I wouldn't be so fucking angry, if I didn't just find out I'm getting married!"

Sera's eyes widened,"how did you-" she cut herself off, as the realization settled into her brain, she shot a quick glare over to Adam. "Adam! I thought we agreed we'd tell him after he finished with his duties for the day.."

The said Angel shrugged, "You really expected me to wait the entire day? No bitch, it's not my fault you're so fucking busy..". Sera only rolled her eyes in response, she then turned back to face you.

"Y/n, I know this isn't an ideal situation to learn about your engagement but you must stop this nonsense at once." She sounded stern, as she still tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy in her tone.

"No! This isn't nonsense! I'm justifiably angry!" You groaned. "You always do this Sera! You make decisions about my life and never fucking ask me!"

"Language."

You growled in response, you went to speak again but Emily interrupted. "(Y/n)...please, I know you're angry but don't lash out at anyone, please. I'm sure we can resolve this if we just talk..?" She suggested. Your eyes softened a bit, as you looked into your sister's eyes. You let out another huff before, you began to shrink back into your normal size.

Sera and the others visibly relaxed as you retreated back to your regular size. You fixed the crown that laid sideways on your head, before soothing out your clothes. "Okay...I'll let you explain yourself..." you grumbled, crossing your arms.

Sera sighed, "I know you're upset" 'upset is an understatement'  you thought, as you listened to your sister speak. "But, I made the decision to accept Adam's proposal because I knew it would be good for you, it would be good for all of us."

You raised a brow, "how exactly?"

"Your union with Adam, will provide a  good service not only here but on earth. Love is a fundamental part of heaven, your marriage with Adam will symbolize love and happiness to the human. It'd help spread hope across the globe and help mortals stray away from sin"

"But what about my happiness??" You asked. "I don't want to seem selfish..but everything I've ever done has been for the humans or for heaven...I don't even know half of my subjects? I've never even been to the earth." You scoffed. "How do you even know this'll work?"

"I have faith it will." She responds, though it felt like there was something else she wasn't telling you.

"Faith?" You repeated. "I'm in an arranged marriage all based on your faith?" You growled.

"(Y/n) don't.." you heard Liam meekly whisper.

"(Y/n)..," Sera warned, narrowing her eyes.

"Y'know Sera " you spat out your sister's name like it was venom. "It seems like you're willing to do A LOT of things for faith huh?" You scoffed. "Like when you forced all your societal expectations on me !." You watched as everyone in the room stiffened.

"Y/n!" Liam said, "you can't-"

"I can! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of everything! You always treat me like a child! All of you do! I'm 23 years old! I'm not some naive little boy anymore Sera!" You huffed.

"You throwing this outburst isn't really helping me see that, is it now?" Sera replied, matching your sass.

Your eye twitched, as you glared up at your sister. "Go to hell, Sera." You spat. Causing her eyes to widen, and for Emily and Liam to gasp. You could see Lute narrow her eyes a bit.

"Y/n you do NOT speak to me that way!" Sera commanded, as her anger grew so did the eyes that began to appear in her hair as she retained a slight glow to them. "Being angry is one thing but you do Not  raise your voice at me!"

"There you go again, you're treating me like a child! I-" Emily then finally butted in.

"Y/n I know you're up about your engagement to Adam but we think it'll be a good idea.."

Your form slouched, as your tone grew quiet. "Wait...we?..." you frowned. "Emily..." you glanced down at her, obvious hurt in your eyes. "You knew...did the others-" Emily frowned, averting her gaze as he hesitantly nodded, giving you confirmation the rest of the seraphim knew and signed off on your engagement.

Your eyes welled with tears, as you backed away. Everyone knew about your apparent engagement, except you. It was one thing for Sera to make decisions for you but for Emily and the others too...it hurt. Emily was usually your aid for guidance and knowledge when you couldn't get it from Sera. She always told you the truth....but she made this life changing decision without even asking you about it.

You sniffled, you felt a bit embarrassed for beginning to cry in front of everyone. It sent you back to your preschool years when you remembered being scolded for being a crybaby and too emotional.  But you couldn't help it now, you felt betrayed and you didn't know how else to handle this.

At the sound of your sniffling, Sera's glare softened as well as everyone's posture. Instead of being tense you could feel them begin to pity you.

Surprisingly, Adam made the first move. "Y/n babe.." he began, his voice unusually soft. "Why don't you relax and we meet up later and-" he reached out to place his hand on your shoulder, but you slapped it away.

"Don't fucking touch me." You spat, hiccuping on your words as turned and dashed down the hall. You heard shouts of your name but you didn't care. You just wanted to get away from everyone right now.

Emily reached out to stop you, but Sera held her back. "No, let him go. Maybe some time alone is what he needs to digest everything" she sighed. "I hope..."

You slammed the door open of your room, shutting it behind you as you slugged your way over to your bed before face planting against the soft silk sheets. You let out a loud sigh as you did.

Skelly, who was happily snoozing in the corner of the bed perked up. He tilted his head, before stretching his body and trotting over to you. He seemed to notice your down mood and whimpered, nuzzling into your hand as he gave you puppy eyes.

You frowned, "Not now, Skelly..." you mumbled, as you sat up from your slumped position on the bed, causing the puppy to let out another whine.

"Can you imagine? Me," You huffed, "The wife of that, boorish brainless..." You stood up from your bed, walking over to your vanity, placing the engagement ring on your finger. "Madame Adam, can't you just see it?" You continued, as you sang to Skelly, who watched you in confusion.

"Madame Adam, his little wife. Ugh!" You growled out, as you ripped off the ring and placed it on the vanity. "No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it!" You walked over to the balcony doors, pushing them open. As you made your way to the balcony you gripped the railing as you sighed, " I want much more than this provincial life!"

You hesitantly took the golden crown that laid on your head, as you glanced over it before setting it on a nearby table.  With a determined look, wings sprouted from your back as you bent your knees a bit to boost yourself off the ground.

As you soared into the sky, you glanced over the city, before making your way to the roof on the tallest tower in the palace.  " I want adventure in the great wide somewhere!" You grinned, as you felt the wind blow through your hair. "I want it more than I can tell.." you glanced at a few residents of heaven you were able to see from the height  as you held onto the golden pole that held the flag of the seraphim.

"And for once it might be grand.." your voice softened, as you did a small twirl around the pole. "To have someone understand..." you made eye contact with the bright golden gates of heaven before your eyes softened, glancing past the gates as you leaned against the pole. Your cheek resting against the cold surface, "I want so much more than they've got planned..."

Sorry for the lateish update!!! I was preoccupied with my other hazbin hotel book that was in the works!!!!

@mixplara @lukerycyja-reblogs

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[noroi1000]

F**k your fav 12 - Friend

F**k your fav | ←Previous • Next→

Summary: Suguru finally had time to arrive. You met at a place to discuss what was going to happen. Basically, what kind of threesome does your boyfriend want? Does he want them both to have sex with you or does he want to have sex with you and Suguru at the same time?

Warnings: SatoSugu sex (blowjobs and anal); dirty talk

It was a bit of an awkward moment. You sat next to Satoru on a soft couch in front of a table in the cafe. Suguru was sitting on the couch across from you, crossing his legs. In his hand, there is a cup of black coffee. Satoru's leg pressed against your leg as he took up more space than usual. Does he want to show that he is bigger?

But you, knowing what your meeting was about, wondered why you couldn't do it privately. Or maybe Suguru suggested this place because he knew your boyfriend wouldn't make a scene when you were around people? Still, none of this was important. You only pay attention to the fact that you are surrounded. You're sitting against the wall. There's a table in front of you, and your only way out is blocked by Gojo's tall ass! What will happen here will be embarrassing... Besides... your thoughts started to be like this!

„Tops sit wherever they feel comfortable. They show their greatness.”

That was exactly the point. You have seen many photos and videos, even accidentally showing how Tops sit. Both Satoru and Suguru sit like this... Even though you thought Suguru was generating more of the dominant energy because he mostly sits with his knees apart, you start to feel tiny. Satoru had never done it so ad hoc. But still, these two make you feel small and defenseless. Especially now that you know where things are headed.

Why did he even agree?! Suguru, what were you thinking?!

But of course you can't hide that you had dirty thoughts in the morning... Especially because you wonder what Suguru looks like naked. You saw him without a shirt. And you're sure he's wider than Satoru. Shoulders, waist, and hips. Just as strong, or even more so. Satoru may be taller, and it's cool that you have such a big boyfriend, but there's something different about Suguru. Even though they are similar, they are so different. And your dirty thoughts were mostly about what his cock would look like.

Satoru turned you into a little Sub... But is there anything wrong with that? Suguru always exuded the energy of dominance. As if he always expected obedience. Suguru is Dom...

How is it possible for Subs to feel Dom's energy? Ugh, so annoying...

"So..."

A shiver ran through your body as you heard Suguru start to speak.

"... You told me, Satoru, about THIS case. This is what we were supposed to discuss here, right?" He asked, sitting more openly.

There was no smile on his face. It looked more like he was serious.

"Uhm... Well... If that's the case... Can we talk about it somewhere..." you started, feeling embarrassed by how many people appeared around, passing by.

Suguru smiled slightly at you.

"Don't worry. I chose this place because there are often a few people here at this time. And also, when we are in a public place, Satoru won't do anything terrible."

"Yes..."

Suguru's smile was distracting to you sometimes...

You used to think that maybe if Satoru didn't love you, you would find love with Suguru... But he is your friend.

"How can you think like that? I wouldn't do anything terrible! We're just here to talk about whether you're going to fuck my girlfriend!"

Your hand landed on Satoru's mouth as you thought about how he had said it too loudly.

Suguru chuckled lightly at your reaction.

He could never think of you as cute before. But now that Satoru had asked him to do something like that, he couldn't help himself.

You were just adorable.

"Aw, Honey. Don't worry. You'll be louder later anyway." Satoru hummed, taking your hand. By blowing lightly into your ear. "I know you love my cock more than anything in the world, but I believe you will moan under Suguru."

Placing your hands on his face, you pushed him away from your neck before he said any more.

Why does he have to be perverted like that?!

You moved your hands away from him as you felt his tongue slide over your hand.

"Satoru!"

"Aw, Sorry sorry. You're just so cute~! I could not hold back!"

"If you guys want to end this quickly, let's just start talking. I have to go shopping later."

You turned your attention to Suguru.

"Sure!" Satoru exclaimed, sitting up straight. "So, Suguru, as you know, we want to guess what our favorite type of sex is."

"You're not sure. I wouldn't have to do something like that to find out." You laughed.

"Oh yeah? I never knew you liked role-playing. I only found out recently!"

"Oh shut up..."

"Continuing, Suguru, I've written threesome on my list to try."

"I already know that much. But are you going to consider it sex with one partner in the presence of another or sex with two at once. It's different, Satoru."

Has Suguru prepared for this? Why did he speak as if he was thinking hard about it?!

"I agreed to this because I owe you a favor. I actually never expected that I would have to have sex with your girlfriend as payment for healing my serious wound. Unless you mean having sex with her and me."

Satoru's eyes were very focused on his friend as he spoke.

"So explain to me what you expect..." he said, playing with his fingers a little. It certainly wasn't a comfortable conversation for him... "Do you want me to have sex with (y/n) at the same time as you. Or do you want a threesome for you, which means you have sex with (y/n) and me at the same time."

"Does it really have two definitions?" The white-haired man laughed.

It was nervous behavior.

Didn't he know exactly what he wanted?

"Satoru?"

"Sure, it's exciting to watch my girlfriend take a cock! But threesome for her is different from threesome for me?"

It was true.

Threesome for you. So you have sex with both of them. They touch you. But Satoru will not have sexual contact with Suguru. Would something like this be considered another type of sex?

"Huh? Does the threesome that would count as the type of sex for me have to be you blowing me?" He muttered, his eyes widening.

Suguru was nervous. Even very nervous. The mere thought that he had probably unknowingly agreed to have sex with Satoru was far from normal. That something was... A strange new thing in his life.

Even though he had been in this situation before. You go into it, and everything becomes a mystery. Or you go out and think about taking care of it all yourself without finishing anything.

Maybe this bet 10 years ago was a mistake?

"I'll go along with it, whatever it is. But first you'll fuck (y/n) and she'll tell you if she's sure she's up for a threesome."

Your eyes widened as you both looked at Gojo.

"...Actually, Satoru...I might agree even now..." you muttered...

Your boyfriend looked at you questioningly and suddenly said louder: "I knew it! You're going after him! I suspected my girlfriend might be going after my friend!"

"Uh... But is it bad...?" Suguru spoke calmly. "You suggested it yourself. And you know, it's better that (y/n) treats me closer and doesn't make her feel uncomfortable."

"Toru." you placed a hand on his shoulder, wanting to confirm Suguru's words. You don't feel uncomfortable around him because he is close to you. "Maybe you should consider... Having sex with Suguru?'

"Huh?!"

"You know... Men can have sex with each other too... And..."

"I know how it works! But are you really encouraging me to do it so quickly?!”

"Well, you know... Since I agree... You can check if you will feel comfortable being with us at the same time... Maybe you will like it..." Playing with your hands, you wanted to discreetly show what you meant. You didn't feel like talking about the fact that one should fuck the other in a public place.

It was arousing watching Satoru lay beneath you with the toy moving in and out of him. Maybe he will feel good when he does the same to Suguru? Your fingers joined together to somehow show what you meant.

"Are we supposed to fuck anally?! Baby, this is supposed to be for us! Do you want to watch me fuck someone other than you?"

"T-That's not it!" You waved your hand. Suguru was quiet. "Basically... Maybe you could let Suguru... You know... Suguru you, not you him. And then you... When we have a threesome?"

"(y/n) I didn't expect you to be so perverted." Geto laughed. "Do you want to see someone dominate Satoru?"

Your face turned a deep red.

"I'm not making the same mistake again!" Gojo crossed his arms over his chest. "If we're going to do this, he's the one who spreads his legs for me!”

"What?" You muttered.

"Don't be like that, Satoru. You looked like you enjoyed it. And now you're going to say it was a mistake?"

"Never again!"

"It was your idea!"

"Suguru, what's going on?" You asked, knowing your boyfriend wouldn't tell you the truth.

"...You know... It was a long time ago, but after Shoko gave us some alcohol, Satoru couldn't control himself. He turned on porn for no reason. And then we played rock, paper, scissors. Whoever won three rounds was supposed to fuck the loser."

Your eyes were wide in disbelief.

"We were young and drunk. And also horny... And Satoru was a loser..."

You looked at the white-haired man who turned his head to the side, his cheeks slightly pink.

"So that's what you meant when you said you weren't a virgin."

"Shut up..."

"Do it today! We will find out everything! Play rock,paper, scissors!

"Phew! Fine! But this time, I will win! One round is enough!

When you started leaving the cafe, you approached the dark-haired man.

"Suguru, Satoru is usually the first to put out the stone."

"It's nice when I'm sitting on the bed and (y/n) starts giving me a blowjob. But it's strange that now there's a guy in front of me taking my almost soft cock into his mouth..."

"Will you shut up?" Suguru growled, licking his tip with a small blush.

They will play right after they give each other a blowjob first. It will only be fair if they both do this to each other. And they will be tough.

You sat in a chair, not knowing what exactly to do. Even though you wanted to look, it seemed a little out of place.

Especially when you saw your boyfriend's ears turn red as his increasingly hard length disappeared into his friend's mouth.

It was nice. And it was different from you. Your lips were smaller. You couldn't easily do what Suguru could.

You felt yourself getting wet.

And Satoru seemed to enjoy this moment?

His hand found its place on Suguru's head as he moved his hips slightly, as if wanting more. And also, you saw his leg move to at least slightly brush against Geto's full boxers.

"Enjoying the view, darling?” he laughed a little breathlessly, looking at you with one eye.

You didn't know how to react in this situation. You didn't know what to even do sitting here!

But you watched, mesmerized by the sight of your boyfriend's entire long, hard length leaving Suguru's throat and mouth, quivering slightly, begging for more attention.

"Are we changing?" Gojo asked.

"Aren't you too keen right now?" Geto muttered, wiping the saliva from his lips.

"I just didn't expect my best friend to be so good at giving blowjobs."

Standing up and stroking his hard cock in his hand, he pushed Suguru onto the bed, sitting on his heels in front of him.

"But you seem to like it too."

His hands removed the dark-haired man's underwear as he chuckled, watching your facial expression. Like you saw a ghost.

It's just that Suguru's size wasn't what you expected...

As his cock rested on his thigh, you could see that it was a little shorter than Satoru's. But the thickness he showed you was also different. He was even thicker than Satoru!

"Enjoy the view because you'll have that cock inside you next time."

You tightened your thighs as you watched your boyfriend open his mouth, welcoming the hot tip with his tongue. And Suguru's fingers brushed back his bangs.

This was different from what Geto had done to him. He sucked and licked the tip while massaging the rest of it with his hand. It was probably just to show you. But he did everything he could to pull away and stand up a few minutes later, tapping his fingers lightly against the dark-haired man's stiff length.

"So now, shall we play?" He asked with a smile, stroking his long rod. "(y/n), prepare the lube."

It was supposed to be a fierce fight. Something that depended on was which of them would get fucked by the other.

You hoped Suguru would win because you wanted to see someone who could truly dominate him. Make you orgasm and moan.

You nodded at Suguru as he looked at you.

And he followed your advice.

Satoru put the stone. And Suguru paper.

Which is why he won. And your white-haired boyfriend lay with his ass in the air as Geto's fingers spread him open and prepared him for what was to come.

"You're tense. Relax."

"How can I relax when I know what's about to happen inside me?!"

"Calm down. You liked it the first time."

"It was once!"

"But now it will happen again, so calm down. Being with you is God's punishment..."

"You better finish quick or – Oh..."

His temper suddenly died down as he felt the tip of his cock press into his entrance, beginning to stretch him. You saw his thighs spread even further to make it easier for him to position himself. And as Suguru slid deeper, he groaned as his tip released a bead of pre-cum that fell onto the sheets.

"Bend over."

Thrusting forward, he began to purr as the thrust of the hips hitting him increased. His hands grabbed his wrists, holding him.

"And don't touch your cock." Suguru whispered with a smile, pressing himself hard into him. "Show your girlfriend that you can cum without using your hands. Just like you did back then."

Approaching. Threesome 😈 I don't know why, that's just how I imagine it. Satoru has a weakness for alcohol and doesn't like its bitter taste. But he had to taste it once, after all.

[maarcyeen]

The rumbling echoed through the small cave they just got trapped in. Smaller pebbles and rubble settled and made sure no opening was left for the Heroes to exit their entrapment.

"Fuck!" Champion growled out when his hands slipped on wet rock he tried to push out. He huffed in frustration and turned to his twin. "Are you okay?"

He heard metal gear clanking as other Link got up. Then a sturdy lether glove patted his shoulder. He exhaled sharply with relief. Being stuck with someone injured without a way to help them wasn't his idea of spending the afternoon. Another set of rustling and bright sparks illuminated the small space. After successfully lighting up the torch, Soldier got up from his knees and looked around, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light.

"We should-"

"Here" Champion grabbed the torch, seeing Soldier struggling signing with only one free hand.

"Oh. Thanks" Wild gave a quick smile. "We should let the others know we are alive."

"Agreed." He looked around again to find just a small gap of space between the rubble, only to find neatly fitted chunks of rock sealed with gravel. "Not sure if they would hear us through this wall of rock, tho."

Soldier walked to his field of view holding two fingers by his lips, his look asking for approval to what he's planning.

"Go right ahead." Champion nodded.

A loud whistle pierced through their ears and bounced around the small room almost endlessly. Wild winced as the ringing in his ears faded, trying to listen for any response.

After an awfully long silence they heard familiar voices behind the rocky curtain and sighed with relief.

"Hey! We're alright! But we're proper stuck in here!" Champion called out. He heard an answer, but couldn't understand it through the thick rock barrier.

Soldier sighed heavily and sat on the ground, propping himself against the wall. Wild followed, taking his place opposite of him. The room was small enough for their boots to touch, which gave both of them small snippet of closure.

Closure wasn't a thing they developed, and none of them was ready to address their relationship. Unfortunately for them, their presence was the only thing they had at the moment.

It wasn't as colorful when they met. It was a mess, really. At first, Wild wanted to inform the group that they finally were in his time, but quickly swallowed his excitement. He saw buildings, roads and people. Hundreds of them. Although those buildings weren't in the perfect condition, some of them had windows shattered, roofs burned down or a wall collapsed, they couldn't be compared to Wild's ruins only left with fundaments.

The group was rightfully shocked when they recognized Wild's walking copy, only taller an inch, his hair shorter and neatly put back in a tight ponytail and visibly lacking major scars that Champion wore under his hood.

After welcoming Soldier to the group, none of them was eager to socialize, until now.

Silence wasn't a foreign sound to them, but now it made them suffocate and squirm in their places, unable to think of a topic to discuss. They were so similar, yet so different.

Soldier exhaled loudly, bringing Champion out from his thoughts.

"Sorry, it's just so quiet."

"Yeah..." Wild moved forward, resting his elbows on his knees and tilting the torch closer to Soldier to see him better.

"I hope they will find a way out for us quickly"

"Yeah..." Wild repeated, visibly absent from reality. Soldier nudged his boot to bring him back, question on his face.

"Sorry, this is so weird." He explained. The look on other Link's face encouraged him to continue. "You are quite literally the image of my dreams, or nightmares..." He added the last part quietly.

"What do you mean?" Nothing but confusion was painted on Soldier's face.

Champion scoffed, throwing his head back. "Look at you!" He gestured out to him. "Always in his shining armour, defeated the Calamity with no problems, walking example of a Hero!"

Soldiers face scrunched from confusion to anger.

" 'With no problems' ?!" He straightened his posture, armor rustling. "Do you think I just plunged my sword to this guy without any complications?? Really??"

His eyes were burning into Wild's, now shocked, face. He didn't expect such burst of emotions out of his twin.

"It took us MONTHS of constant battle, we lost so many good people, and if not the solidarity and help of all of Hyrule we would have lost many times!! And YOU'RE saying I had it easy?? Unlike you, I didn't even HAVE the Master Sword until the middle of the war!"

Soldier took a long sigh, trying to compose himself. He leaned back, controlling his breathing again. Wild said nothing.

"What I would give to be like you."

That shook Champion. What did he mean? He was a failure, bearing thousands of lost souls on his shoulders, running around aimlessly. How could a perfect knight envy someone like him?

"What??" Wild breathed out.

Soldier chuckled. "No commanders or kings to push you around, no reports you have to rewrite because of one spelling error..."

He looked fondly at Champion. "You get to actually choose for yourself what you want, where to go. Hell, you can actually say no to people! Could you imagine what would happened if I said no to the King?" He chuckled again. "No Shrine of Resurrection would help." They both laughed quietly.

Now the silence wasn't as awful as before. They both had time to analyze each other's words, slowly understanding their points of view.

"So, you met the New Champions?" Wild quickly changed the topic, for both of their sakes.

Soldier hummed fondly. "Yeah, if not them, we would've lost. They were a huge help to all of us. And a pleasure to meet, too."

Champion smiled at the thought of his friends back home. He let his thoughts run free, somehow going back to Mipha. A sly smile appeared on his face.

"So, how's Mipha?" He chuckled as Soldier flushed red, trying to turn away his face away from the torch light.

They got up quickly as their attention was stolen by a rumble coming from the collapsed wall. Multiple voices could be heard, now more clearly. Finally, a familiar face popped out from the rubble, that saved them (mostly Soldier from a sensitive topic) out of the dark cave.

Once they got out they could feel their relationship grow closer. It wasn't as close as with other Heroes, but it was a start.

[quinloki]

Hello! Can we get Smoker, Crocodile, and Corazon with the kinks: smoking kink (like shotgunning and just the act of smoking during sex) corruption kink, and size kink! Thank you very much💝

ROSINANTE \lol/ OMG SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED ABOUT THE OTHER DONQUIXOTE <3 <3 <3

I have no issue writing about Doffy (he is a blorbo), but I was just thinking "I'd love for someone to ask about Rosi, and if I catch up and no one has, I'll ask for asks including him" - and then I got this -^_^-

(Also I've been compiling these, and we're at like 21k words xD )

Hmm.. let's do this by character. Oh I really like all these characters - I need to write some good Smoker and Corazon something at some point, they're just good characters. (Gods there is so much DILF vibe energy in this ask, I just need a second.)

Smoker:

Smoking Kink - FUCK Yes - Considering his devil fruit I think it's safe to say that there's just more Smoker can do when he's got a surplus of smoke to work with. Plus he knows you like the sound of his voice when he has cigars in his mouth. There's just something missing from it otherwise - until he takes the cigars out of his mouth and leans down low, speaking right into your ear in that low voice that seems impossibly smooth and commanding.

Unless you smoke on your own he won't shotgun you. But the scent of the cigars during sex aren't taking anything away from the experience, that's for sure.

Corruption Kink - I guess - I can see Smoker being willing to role-play corrupting you in someway, but I can't see him doing so legitimately. The vibe I get is that you would both be on similar pages when it came to how worldly you were (or weren't), and while there are several kinds of corruptions to choose from, I don't see Smoker being a V-card collector anymore than I can see him being the one teaching you about bdsm, or trying to get you to steal xD

I can see you both learning about kinky things together, but yeah. He's a little cinnamon-roll-y to me <3

Size Kink - Smoker isn't very-- *looks up his height*... short. He isn't very Short. Holy shit this man's 6'10" ?!?! Hells, I thought he was like 5'8"-5'9"... *ahem*. I'mma need a minute.

Haaaa - okay, Smoker is a Sure/Yes for size kink and I think he feels a little bad about it. People can't control their height, but he does enjoy being the bigger one in the relationship. Possibly because at his height it's hard for him to not be the bigger one, but if he met someone at his height or taller, he wouldn't just dismiss the idea of a relationship with them either. I mean, it would be nice to trade off who gets to be the big spoon.

That said, he does like being able to basically engulf you. From easily being over top you as you pant and squirm under him all the way to being able to cuddle you like you were little more than an over-sized teddy bear. (he's also got a weakness for tilting your chin up so he can kiss you, cause you always look flustered even if it's just for a split second).

Sir Crocodile:

Smoking Kink - FUCK Yes - Crocodile's cigars smell good. It's a scent that slips along your skin and soothes your nerves. It's a little citrus, warm spices, and almost a kind of hot sand smell. It's lazes in the room and no matter how much he smokes it's never overwhelming - if anything it's relaxing. (I'm not saying he's laced his cigars specifically to calm you, but I'm not not saying that either).

This man will shotgun you - after he's already got you used to his cigars, and probably has you enjoying one every now and then. He certainly smokes during sex, well, depending on the kind of sex. He's not risking burning you or setting something on fire, but if he's leaned back and letting you do the work, the air's certainly heavy with smoke.

Corruption Kink - Yes - He's not a good guy, and if you understand that from the beginning then you'll certainly get some level of respect for it. But he's more than happy to pull you into his world - whether you want to be a part of actively or not doesn't really matter to him. You don't have to become a functional part of whatever business venture is going on, but he's not going to keep things from you either. You'll sink into the sandy depths with him, but he'll keep you from drowning, so don't panic.

He is, to me, the one with the most experience in the relationship, so he'll guide you through any kink you didn't already have, while happily indulging almost any other kink you do have.

Size Kink - Sure - Crocodile is very middle ground for this. He does enjoy being larger than his partner, but that just might be because when you're as tall as he is, statistically people are going to be smaller than you. He's not against an equal or larger partner, size hardly matters in any capacity, but even less so in terms of power dynamics. He'll be in charge no matter who's bigger than who.

Plus, if he wants you to have to stretch a struggle to take him, there's several ways to make that happen regardless of whether you're bigger than him or not.

Rosinante -

Smoking Kink - No - Rosinante doesn't even like that he smokes - if for no other reason than the habit costs him a lot in replacement coats and clothes. But he's already half a nervous wreck about having a slip up in the midst of sex, he's not bringing in extra risks. The smell of those cigarettes do cling to him, and it's not unpleasant at least, so if you like the scent of him smoking you're at least not missing out on that.

Corruption Kink - Oh god you have no idea - Something about nurture vs nature, but he is a Donquixote. He wants to own you, pull you into every kink he loves and make you irrevocably his. The biggest difference between him and his brother, is that he does want your permission to do these things to you. In every aspect that he can be your first he wants to be it - no matter what it is, no matter what you've already done, he's not going to turn you away if you've already been with someone, but he'll struggle to hold himself back if you haven't.

He wants to mark you and mess you up, behind closed doors, in sessions, without shattering who you are. It's a fine line, but he's been tight-rope walking his whole life, so he's good at it.

Size Kink - FUCK Yes - He wants to be the little spoon so bad. Coming at an impressive 9'7.5" though, he's uh... he's maybe not going to get that chance unless he can come across someone who has a devil fruit power that can change his size. Or hey, if you're tall enough (OP-sona go, go!) then you can certainly fill that desire for him.

All that said, he's not going to cast you aside if you're shorter/smaller than he is. The kink only rates that high because he's resigned himself to it never being fulfilled quite the way he'd like, and he'd probably cry if it happened.

Kinky One Piece Head Canon

[scientia-rex]

Reasons my life is better this year than last year:

-Umbrella reason: new job

-Work next to doc who consistently laughs at my jokes

-My boss doesn't get passive-aggressive and also doesn't mind profanity

-My boss, despite being straight, fully supports me providing gender care and likes to send me CME opportunities for conferences I can't go to because I can't take time off without a lot of notice but it's still a nice thought that he saw "LGBTQIA+ healthcare" and went "oh I know a doc who does that! she should go!"

-On my other side is an MA I get along with fabulously bc despite having different native languages we both appreciate the importance of snacks, naps, caffeine, and being a little bit snarky

-She always brings me a donut if somebody leaves a box in the break room and she knows I might not see them until they're gone

-My MA sits behind me and is possibly my long-lost twin? Except that she's a foot taller than me, GOD, I wish I was tall, but we're on the same wavelength at all times and we have very similar interests and senses of humor and I love it and I hope she works here until we both retire

-The other people who sit in our room with us vary between a delightful nerd who I only haven't befriended harder bc she has kids and is always making a point of going home to them on time, an older doc who works per diem for us now and taught me how to do greater occipital nerve blocks on a whim and is actually a decent person despite being an old white privileged man, and our dermatology provider who once told a patient I was, and I quote, "cool as fuck," which is funny because I think SHE'S cool as fuck

-Our nurses are the best. Just the literal best. They go all out, on a daily basis, to not only make sure I do the minimal amount of bullshit busy work, but also to make sure patients are getting high-quality care and that they have positive interactions with our clinic, and they never kick a request back to me with "we can't do that," they will always at least ask around to see if someone else knows. I love them. I love them so much I literally sometimes cry about it.

-Our chief referral coordinator is so much fucking fun AND so good at her job. I ask her for things and they just... happen??? She's relentlessly competent and also loves animals and also when I mentioned I need more plants gave me seeds from her double-ruffled hot pink poppies, which I WILL be planting next year.

-Seriously, I love everybody at my new work. It's been 10 months and I feel like a rescue animal, finally starting to creep out of my shell and have a personality, after working at my prior clinic for 4 years (2 in residency) of absolute chronically understaffed passive aggressive toxic workplace hell. Like, I love the providers at my former clinic, I love the support staff, I loved my patients and I loved what I got to do, but there simply weren't enough people and everyone was always being told to do more and more and more with no additional time or resources or compensation, and that was a big part of why I quit--I could see, very transparently, that the administrators didn't give a hot shit about how hard I was working and how I was busting my ass, any time they saw a chance to shaft me out of any benefit, no matter how small, that might save them money.

Life is better this year. I think it's going to be even better next year. I had no idea working in medicine could be this much better. Working in medicine is going to be draining, no matter what you do--but a good, solid, competent administration makes the difference between draining and soul-crushing.

[achaotichuman]

Five times Lucien Vanserra proposed to Tamlin, one time Tamlin said yes.

So, I wrote this like six months ago, put it on Ao3, took it down a week later. Now we're here. If you like sappy, totally, completely, undeniably in love Tamcien, then you'll like this.

The first time Lucien proposed to Tamlin he had barely known the male two weeks and had been completely off his face on Faery wine.

Their group of friends had decided to hit a bar on the far south side of the Autumn Court. Tamlin had happened to join them and Lucien was excited to get to know the male a little better.

They had first met when their fathers demanded a meet up after a mishap with some trade between the Autumn and Spring Court, both Lucien and Tamlin had snuck off and found solace in each other's company. 

The Spring gardens had been lovely to look at but not nearly as lovely at looking at the youngest Prince of Spring. Light golden hair that fell down his back and shoulders in soft waves, it was cut softly around the front nicely framing his face. He was not nearly like any other Prince he had ever seen.

Unlike the other heirs of the Courts, Tamlin had a softness to him that balanced out his warrior build. Along with an other-worldly sense of balance. Lucien had found him strolling through the dense gardens of Spring. The gardens were unlike anything, they were in a confined space, but seemingly left to their own devices, branches and flowering vines curled over each other in a way that would seem erratic and chaotic anywhere else but fit the Court so well here.

Tamlin had stood up on the tips of his toes and wrapped a hand around an unfurled rose. When he removed his hand the flower was in full bloom with specks of shimmering gold floating off of the petals.

Ground Magic they called it. The magic that allowed Spring Fae to control the growth and life of plants.

Lucien, in a moment of uncharacteristic clumsiness, stepped on a branch. Immediately the Spring Prince turned to him, and Lucien’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of those bright green eyes.

Tamlin narrowed his eyes and Lucien stood there dumbly. He wasn’t like this; he shouldn’t be like this. Normally he could easily fall into small talk, using his charm to woo people into connecting with him, but not with this male. Lucien felt like he was six years old again and standing before the whole Court, wholly on display and vulnerable.

“Who are you?” Tamlin asked quickly.

Lucien blinked, he opened and closed his mouth like a dead fish, just staring.

“What are you doing in my garden?” Tamlin asked, sounding more threatening, that snapped Lucien out of it.

“I was getting away.” Lucien said quickly, nearly smacking himself at how high-pitched and awkward his voice sounded.

Tamlin tilted his head slightly, then in two smooth leaps he was before Lucien.

Lucien, logically, didn’t have much to worry about if the lordling thought him to be a threat. Their builds were quite similar, even if the male before him was a good fifteen years older and taller than him. And Lucien knew he was quick enough to easily overpower those even twice his size. Still, he was intimidated.

After a moment Tamlin asked, "You're one of the Autumn Princes, right?”

“Um, yes, yes! Lucien.” Lucien stuck out his hand. Good Gods what the fuck was wrong with him?

Tamlin again regarded him with suspicion, then he tentatively took Lucien’s hand. His fingers were long and slender, with callous’ on his palm. 

“Tamlin, nice to meet you.” He said, eyes still looking him up and down but significantly relaxed.

After Lucien got past his original awkwardness, Tamlin and he began to talk. The Princeling showed him around the gardens, apparently most of it was allowed to run on its own, but occasionally a gardener would come through and trim it up, and Tamlin would often help. He gave Lucien a detailed explanation on what certain plants were and the meaning behind them.

They ended up staying out there for four hours. Lucien said nothing but marvelled at the garden, usually he hated it when people rambled and didn’t allow a word in, but something in him told him to shut up and pay attention to what this male was saying.

Eventually Eris came to find him. It was time to return to Autumn.

Lucien and Tamlin ended up meeting every morning on the border for the next two weeks. Catching fish from the river and talking till late afternoon.

Lucien didn’t quite know what got him so invested in the Princeling, but they became good friends quickly.

Which led him to propose to the Spring lord in a drunken state.

Poor Tamlin had just been sitting at the bar, listening to the music, conversing with one of Lucien’s many friends and enjoying the atmosphere when Lucien came stumbling up to him, barely being able to stand upright.

Tamlin had laughed and gotten off his chair to help stabilise the drunk Prince. Lucien laid eyes on that pretty face and got down on one knee.

Lucien took the metal ring off his own finger and showed it to Tamlin, slurring “Marry me!”

Not even a question, more of an outright demand.

Tamlin had stared at him for a moment, his face caught between shocked and incredibly amused. He then laughed and helped pick Lucien up off the ground.

“Alright, my Fox, that's enough wine for you.” Tamlin had laughed, starting to take Lucien over to the entrance of the bar.

Lucien leaned fully onto Tamlin, “Fox? If I’m a fox what are you then, Spring Prince?”

Tamlin smiled, “Well I don’t know, I guess that's for you to decide.”

He had meant it in a joking manner, but Lucien still took it seriously. He studied Tamlin long and hard before tapping his nose and saying “Golden ray. Because you like a golden ray of sunshine!”

Tamlin had been silent for a moment, before he burst out laughing, “Alright then, my Fox.”

***

The second time Lucien proposed to Tamlin, he had been completely sober and dead serious.

But Tamlin was not aware of just how serious Lucien was.

It had been the hundred year anniversary of Jesminda’s death and naturally Lucien had been feeling pretty shitty.

Tamlin had a memorial for her. It was the centre of the gardens, surrounded by every flower Lucien had ever said she liked. A park bench had been built, it was made of Autumn wood, and in the typical lesser fae country style. On the backing there was a golden plate with the words In memory of our dearest Jesminda Roseturn, whose sarcasm and teasing will be missed but never be forgotten. 

Lucien had laughed through the tears when he saw it. It was just what Jesminda would have wanted, she always hated the typical style of graveyards. Always thought them to be so morbid.

He had been sitting on that bench. Tears flowing freely down his face. He had long moved on from the deep sadness that made him never want to love another like he did her again. Still he stayed away from anything romantic during this week of the year.

Then Tamlin came out from the manor to him. Tamlin and his stupidly, obliviously, romantic whims.

He sat beside Lucien and pulled him into a hug. When she first died Lucien had avoided all touching but as the years went by, he found more and more comfort in his friends arms. 

Then, in such Tamlin fashion, he made a tub of chocolate ice cream appear from the pocket between realms. It was basically just a pile of ice cream absolutely smothered in chocolate syrup, cream and strawberries.

He made two spoons appear, along with a bottle of Faery wine and set it down between them, “I figured you’d just wanna get drunk and eat sugar so I got this stuff for us.”

Lucien once thought he could only ever love Jesminda, he was very wrong, because the next words out of his mouth were, “will you marry me?”

Tamlin had laughed, taken a spoonful of ice cream and shoved it in Lucien's mouth, who fake glared at him and snatched the spoon away, sucking it clean.

Lucien didn’t remember how they even managed to finish all that ice cream. They got extravagantly drunk and didn’t remember anything after that.

***

The third time Lucien proposed to Tamlin, it wasn’t really him asking for the High lords hand, more him expressing his desire to marry him.

Both of them had been laying on the rooftop of the Manor. Looking up at the starry night, the full moon shining brightly in the sky.

The cool Spring air was biting, it didn’t bother Lucien, the fire flowing freely in his veins keeping him warm.

That wasn’t the case for the High lord beside him. Tamlin shivered and cuddled closer to Lucien. The fire lord chuckled, Tamlin was resting his head on Lucien’s shoulder, Lucien’s arm wrapped around him, keeping him pressed against the fire lord’s side.

“It’s colder than usual tonight,” Lucien quipped.

“It’s fucking freezing you walking matchstick, not that you would know considering you’re the Fae equivalent of a fireplace.” Tamlin angrily snuggled closer.

Lucien pressed his lips into Tamlin’s hair. Rubbing his hand up and down Tamlin’s back, heating his hand so it warmed his friend.

Tamlin let out a small satisfied sigh, “I love you.”

The words sunk into his skin. Lucien nearly made his skin too hot for comfort.

Lucien freely expressed his love to Tamlin with his words, but the latter rarely used his voice to express his love.

Tamlin made up for it in the endless gestures that he only extended to those he held close to his heart. But Lucien always wished he would say it back.

And right now he had. Lucien basked in the feeling like the sun had just come out.

“I love you.” He whispered back, “so much.”

Tamlin laughed quietly, “How much?”

Lucien started drawing circles on his back, “So much so, that if I had to choose one person to spend the rest of my life with, the choice is obvious…”

Tamlin gave him a bright smile, Lucien then said, “Andras, all the way.”

Tamlin slapped his arm, laughing, “you’re an asshole, we were having a moment, how dare you!”

Lucien wrapped both his arms tightly around him, pulling the squirming High lord close, “No, Golden Ray, I’m sorry. If I had to pick one person to spend the rest of my immortal lifespan with, it would be you, without hesitation.”

Tamlin rested his head on Lucien’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, “I would choose you as well, always.”

The fire lord knew that Tamlin didn’t mean that romantically, maybe would never mean that romantically. But just for a moment, just for tonight, he let himself hope.

***

The fourth time Lucien proposed, it was after their whole lives had just come crashing down.

Fifty years to find a human woman who would love Tamlin despite a hatred of Fae. A joke, pure mockery of the High lord. Amarantha’s way of proving to Tamlin that only she could love him.

And Tamlin was believing her.

He was covered in bruises and blood as was Lucien. Both of them were locked away in Lucien’s room. Sitting on the bed, tears streaming down their faces. Their masked faces.

Lucien took Tamlin’s face in his hands. Even with the mask he knew what he looked like under it, he knew just how beautiful his friend was, and would never forget it even if these masks never came off.

“How am I going to do this?” Tamlin whispered, “how am I going to find someone to love me enough to break a fucking curse?”

Lucien rested his forehead against Tamlin. The gold of their masks clicked together, “how could anyone not fall in love with you?”

Tamlin huffed, “the only person to ever pursue me is the reason we’re wearing these godforsaken masks.”

“That’s not true-“

“Yes! Yes it is Lucien! We are in this mess because of me! Now because of me I have to send a sentry to his death! How can I do that?! How can I look any of my men in the eye and tell them to cross a wall knowing they’ll never return in some desperate hope of a maiden potentially killing them?!”

“Tamlin! This is not your fault! Amarantha is fucking insane! None of this is because of you! As for the sentries, we will give whoever we choose a send off worth remembering for centuries to come. This is for not just our Court but all of Pythian now.”

Tamlin was silent, those tears dropped off his face staining his shirt. Lucien took Tamlin’s hands in his.

“How am I going to get someone to fall in love with me?”

Lucien smiled slightly, “who wouldn’t fall for you?”

Tamlin shook his head, “No, no. No one would fall for me, besides that psycho bitch Queen.”

“Tamlin-“

“Lucien, I can't charm people. I can’t woo females or even flirt properly, that’s your domain. Even if we find a human that meets the criteria, she will hate me, I am just not loveable-“

“I love you!” Lucien shouted.

“It’s not the same!” Tamlin shouted back, “You’re my friend! We love each other differently than people who are lovers!” 

The words were poison, but at this point Lucien couldn’t back down. He was losing Tamlin anyway, what hurt would it do to finally say it, “No, Tam, it’s exactly the same. I love you, you are not just a friend to me and you have never been just a friend to me! I love you so much it hurts! And seeing you like this, thinking that no one could ever love you, breaks my heart more than you’ll ever imagine!”

Tamlin went completely silent at that. From the look on the High lord’s face Lucien might as well have said he was going to go over the wall himself to retrieve a maiden. 

“I… Tamlin I-”

Tamlin brought Lucien’s hands to his face, kissing them relentlessly, “Why would you say that?! Why would you tell me that now?!”

Both of them were shaking, Lucien was using every fibre in his body to not start crying right then and there.

“Why would you tell me that when I can’t love you?! When I’m doomed to never be able to love you?!” His words were near incoherent from the tears choking his words. Lucien understood him all the same.

Lucien lost the battle to his tears, he started sobbing, resting his forehead against the crown of Tamlin’s hair, “Because I can’t go another day without you knowing! Tamlin, I have wanted you forever, I will always love you!”

When the two of them calmed down enough, they both laid down on Lucien’s bed. Tamlin’s face pressed into Lucien’s chest. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other.

“If… if we could start over, and this never happened…” He wanted to ask. At the same time he didn’t want to know the answer.

“Just say it, Luce.”

“... will you marry me?”

Tamlin didn’t answer, he never answered. Not that night, not the next day, not fifty years later. He just pressed himself harder against Lucien, more sobs falling from him.

One day, forty-nine years later, a Huntress named Feyre with light brown hair, piercing blue eyes and a pretty face came into their lives.

Lucien hated her with every piece of his soul.

***

The fifth time Lucien proposed to Tamlin he was turned down flat.

They had come out from Under the Mountain barely two days earlier. The two of them were sitting on the rooftop, like they had done so many years prior.

The moon was high in the sky, the stars settled above them like drops of sunlight scattered throughout the darkness.

“She’s Fae now.” Tamlin murmured, “She’s going to live as long as us.”

His tone was not said in the happy way it should be. It should have been said joyfully, it should have been an acknowledgement that the female he loved was going to be beside him forever.

Instead he sounded resigned, like the idea of Feyre being immortal was yet another curse.

“Yeah. She’ll be with us forever,” Lucien said.

The Fox couldn’t help it, he conjoined his hand with Tamlin’s, “She loved you enough to go Under the Mountain for us.”

Tamlin nodded, “We owe her every life in Prythian. She is our saviour.”

There was a beat of silence. One heartbeat, then the next. Tamlin said, “I can’t let that happen to her again.”

“Amarantha is dead, it will never happen again.” 

Tamlin shook his head, an opened envelope appeared from the pocket between realms. He handed it to Lucien.

The Fox was confused for a moment, he opened the letter and scanned over it. 

Oh… shit.

Tamlin spoke, “Hybern wants to establish a meet up. They want to weasel their way back into Prythian, now that Amarantha is dead, their puppet is gone. Hybern will be looking for a way back in.”

“Why us?” Lucien asked.

Tamlin’s eyes went uncharacteristically cold at that, “It may have something to do with Feyre being the cursebreaker. They may want to establish contact with her, and if they want to get into Prythian and create another Amarantha situation, they may be looking to eliminate her before she becomes a problem again.”

“You mean they want to kill her?” Lucien asked, it made him a horrible person, but the idea she might die and leave Tamlin all to himself made a tiny part of him light up.

No, she sacrificed her life for all of them. He couldn’t be so hateful of her anymore.

“That's what I’m thinking. We need to keep her here and in sight. There's no telling if they send in a spy, with the economy down and most of the Court in destruction it would be easy to send in a spy or assassin. Feyre can’t be left unguarded.”

“So what? You want a group of sentries to follow her around all day?” Lucien asked.

“For now… that's not a bad idea. Especially whilst she’s getting used to her new body.”

It made sense. Hybern was psychotic, it was where Amarantha came from, but they were intelligent. Most people had left Spring once the Bitch Queen was brought down to go see family in neighbouring Courts, so the grounds and Court were in chaos. It would be the perfect time for a snake to get into the hen house.

More silence past them. Lucien gripped the letter a little tighter. He glanced at Tamlin who was staring up at the moon, his eyes had fallen closed. It was like he was bathing in the silvery glow.

“Tam.”

“Yeah.” Tamlin replied, his eyes still closed.

“Are you going to marry her?” He couldn’t help it, the question slipped past his defences.

Tamlin opened his eyes and looked at Lucien. The fire lord cursed himself for ruining the peaceful moment.

“If everything goes according to plan, yes. Yes I will.”

Another heartbeat, then the next, “Do you want to?”

Tamlin sucked in a breath and looked down at the gardens, now surrounded by darkness, “She saved our lives, because of her love for me… Marriage is what's expected.”

“But do you want to?” Lucien pressed.

“She saved us, Lucien. She saved us-”

“Forget that! Forget everything about that! She’s because of Amarantha! She is a direct byproduct of that hateful witch! You can’t tell me you want to chain yourself to those memories!”

Tamlin snapped. Lucien knew he’d gone too far when the word ‘chain’ left his mouth. The High lord gave a low growl and that was the only warning Lucien got before he was being pinned on his back. Tamlin’s sharp claws punctured through his fingertips, digging into his arms, just not drawing blood.

“Don’t speak about her like that! We owe her a life debt, we all do and you are no exception!”

Lucien always marvelled at how Tamlin’s eyes glowed when he was angry. From a first glance the High lord was just that, royalty. He had a softness and grace to him that even Lucien couldn’t muster, but those claws… the eyes he had and the fangs that gleamed in the light revealed an animalistic side of him that Lucien hadn’t ever truly seen his High lord embrace. Almost like he was afraid of it.

 “I know, I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry.” Lucien whispered.

Tamlin relaxed, his claws withdrew and his eyes dimmed. He sat back on his heels. Lucien just realised Tamlin was straddling his waist.

“I miss you.” Lucien revealed.

Tamlin looked back down into his eyes. There was a longing in them. Lucien’s heart selfishly leapt at the idea Tamlin still wanted him as much as Lucien did.

“I miss you too.” Tamlin murmured.

Lucien took the High lord’s hands in his, “Tam… will you marry-”

“No, no I won’t.” Tamlin said, his voice hardening.

He knew that would be the answer, his heart still shattered all the same.

“I won’t marry you, Lucien. I miss you, I do. I love you more than you’ll ever imagine, but you’re not worth the price I would have to pay. If I could do it all over I would marry you, I would spend eternity with you, I would have children with you, but I can’t. We can’t be wed, and there is no use in mourning what could have been.”

The fire lord nodded, “I know.”

Tamlin leaned down and brushed his lips against Lucien’s, he longed to lean up and kiss him properly, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew this was Tamlin’s way of saying goodbye.

“I love you, my Fox, and I always will.” With that Tamlin kissed his cheek, pulled himself off of Lucien and strided inside, never looking back.

Lucien waited until he heard the rooftop door close, before he let the tears fall.

***

One day. One rainy Spring morning, Lucien asked again.

Spring was restored. The people were back, festivities were under way. Years had passed since Tamlin and Feyre’s fall out, people had moved past it. The Court was thriving and Spring was three times the size it was before even Amarantha.

Kosechi had been eliminated. Vassa and Jurian themselves now wore wedding rings, their one year anniversary would be coming up in a few days.

With Beron now dead and Eris on the throne, Prythian was united at last. After Feyre and Tamlin settled their past with an exchange of letters the other Courts were far more receptive to deals with Spring.

Lucien no longer worked as Emissary to any Court. He stayed in Spring, helping his best friend.

Though he wanted to change that soon, he always wanted to travel outside of Prythian. But he didn’t want to go alone.

Now that Spring was all in order, with advisors and Courtiers they trusted running the place. Maybe Tamlin might want to give travelling a go.

Tamlin was currently standing out in the rain. It had been raining since early the night before. The ground was well and truly soaked, as was Tamlin but he didn’t seem to mind that.

Lucien snuck up behind him, either Lucien was getting better at sneaking around or Tamlin was losing his touch, but either way when the Fox grabbed Tamlin from behind. The High lord startled, throwing them both into the mud.

Lucien laughed, pinning Tamlin down into the wet dirt. Tamlin rolled his eyes, “great, now we’re both dirty, good job.”

The fire lord gave him a grin, “Thank you, Golden Ray. I will say you are still magnificent, even covered in mud.”

If Tamlin rolled his eyes any harder they’d get stuck, “You’re a suck up, get off of me.”

The Fox huffed, but stood up, grabbing Tamlin and pulling him to stand, Tamlin tried to brush the mud off of his green shirt, “Why would you do that? I liked this shirt.”

“You say that like it won’t wash out.” Lucien said, wrapping his arms around Tamlin’s waist and pulling him close.

Tamlin was significantly taller than Lucien when they first met, but Lucien had grown since that day, grown into his limbs and grown into his body. Now Tamlin looked up to meet his eyes. The High lord smiled up at him, wrapping his own arms around Lucien’s neck, “I guess you’re right.”

Lucien returned the smile and rested his forehead against Tamlin’s. Gently swaying them from side to side.

Neither knew how long they stood there, be it minutes or hours, either way Lucien didn’t want the moment to end.

“What are we going to get for Jurian and Vassa’s anniversary?” Tamlin asked eventually.

Lucien’s eyes had fallen closed, he hummed, “not sure yet, I know Summer does week long cruises to the islands across from it. We could get them that?”

“Maybe… you’ll need to remind Vassa as well. Jurian will run himself ragged, getting her everything romantic thing he can think of just for her to forget it's even happening.”

The fire lord laughed, “I’ve already sent her a letter, she sent me a very snappy one back.”

“She didn’t forget?”

Lucien laughed, “No she had. Didn’t thank me though.”

The High lord chuckled and pressed his face into the crook of Lucien’s neck, “Such Vassa fashion.”

“I know.” Lucien murmured, letting his chin rest on Tamlin’s head.

Everything was good again. Lucien wouldn’t fool himself into believing it was better than before. Tamlin still struggled day and night with the memories that were haunting him, though he was certainly getting better, his temper significantly calming down.

Lucien struggled as well. About a year ago he was invited to train with the newly formed Valkyrie. When he went there one of the girls, Roslin might have been her name, was accidentally shoved into him. Lucien had a horrific panic attack when she fell on top of him, all he could see were the priestess robes he tried so hard every night to forget.

He had since gone back there a few times and was finding it easier and easier, but Roslin, poor thing, was still incredibly apologetic even now a year later.

Regardless, he knew he was getting better, he knew they were both getting better.

There were some nights he wished to curl up beside his friend, to kiss him how he had once before. To feel his bare skin under his hands, to hear him speak in that loving tone he only gave to Lucien when they were alone. 

For the longest time, he didn’t push. Not while Tamlin was recovering, the last thing either of them needed was to worry about a romantic relationship.

But now…

“Tam…” Lucien whispered.

There must’ve been something worried in his tone because Tamlin pulled away from Lucien just enough to see his face, “yes, my Fox?”

Both were absolutely soaked through and covered in mud. They were surrounded by the wild flowers and vines of the Spring Court gardens. They were here, they were alive, they were home.

“Remember when we first met, and I stared at you like dead fish, barely able to speak?”

Tamlin gave him a sly grin, “yes, I was so confused because all the stories I’d heard of ‘that Lucien Vanserra’ painted you like some sort of seductive tempter and there you were… looking like a stunned deer.”

Lucien laughed, “You want to know why I was staring like that?”

Tamlin looked confused at that, so Lucien continued, “It was because you were the most beautiful male I’d ever set my eyes on.”

A deep blush spread across Tamlin’s face up to the tips of his pointed ears, he opened his mouth, presumably to deny, but Lucien interjected, “You were and still are the most stunning, ravishing male I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are the most beautiful person to ever walk into my life, and not just on the outside. You have a heart of pure gold that you give to everyone you meet. You are the most open and honest person I have ever met and even after you have been dragged through trial after trial you have never lost that.”

“For a while I thought I did lose you, I thought I had lost the light of my life forever, but I was wrong. Your flames came back, as they always do. And I have had the honour to watch them come back.”

“Lucien, you deserve everything.” Tamlin said.

Lucien’s smile couldn't get any bigger at this point. Tamlin was giving him that look of pure love that he had missed so, so much.

“Tamlin, I am selfish, and I want to love you forever, I never want to lose you to anybody ever again. I want to keep you all for my own self.”

“You have me, Lucien.” Tamlin said, it was hard to see in the rain but there were tears flowing down his High lord’s face, “you have always had me. You deserve everything of me, I have done nothing that would even begin to make me deserve you. I will spend every waking moment of my life trying to deserve you. Trying to atone to you for what I’ve done in the past. But I am always yours.”

“Well in that case… I want everyone to know you are mine, and that I am yours. So, Tamlin Fairburn, will you make me the happiest male to ever live…” Lucien slid down onto one knee, pulling out a box from his pocket. He opened it up to reveal a golden ring, encrusted with fire opal and emeralds. It was shaped like a vine with tiny, fragile golden leaves attached to it.

“Will you marry me?” Lucien asked.

Tamlin was covering his mouth, looking like he was caught between laughing and crying, he nodded. Lucien couldn't help the giddy grin that split across his face.

“Is that a yes?” Lucien laughed.

“Yes, yes it's a yes, you stupid romantic moron, yes I will marry you!” Tamlin said.

He laughed and stood back up, taking Tamlin’s hand and sliding the ring on. Tamlin marvelled at it, running his finger lightly on the gold.

“I love you.” Tamlin said.

“I love you.” Lucien said back, cupping his face and kissing him hard.

Tamlin wrapped his arms around his neck and stood up on the tips of his toes, kissing Lucien with the same passion.

This was it. This was happily ever after.

Lucien would never forget his first love, Jesminda. He held a special place in his heart for her.

And he forgave Feyre for the heart ache she caused.

But this was the male he loved. This was the life he loved.

Lucien finally realised that through all these years, he had been collecting the pieces of his heart and putting it back together. This was the final piece; it was complete the second he slid that ring onto his soulmate's hand.

[twiistcd]

THE NEEDLE PIT.

☆ DANIEL MATTHEWS X READER

SUMMARY - reader gets thrown into the needle pit, some form of established friendship with daniel.

basic saw warnings, needles, description of gore(?), not much comfort but it's there (somewhere)

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Everytime I inhaled I felt my lungs fill with the gas that diffused throughout the house.

I leaned up against the wall as a watched the taller man, Xavier attempt to break down the door, it opening slightly each time.

"If its stuck, its a trap."

Amanda said knowingly.

"Lady, this whole house is a trap."

it's been a few more minutes, eventually Xavier managed to barge the door open.

I walk in cautiously behind the others, glancing at Laura who reminded sitting to check how she was doing, I watched as Daniel then joined the rest of us.

I turn around, suddenly hearing a familiar sinister voice coming from a tape player, the same voice from the first tape.

Hello, Xavier.

I want to play a game.

The game I want to play

is very similar...

to the one that you've

been playing as a drug dealer.

A game of offering hope

to the desperate for a price.

I think we can agree that

your situation is desperate...

so I offer you hope.

The price you pay...

is that you must crawl

into the same pit of squalor...

your force your customers into.

By entering this room,

a timer has been started.

When the timer expires...

the door in front of you

will be locked forever.

"Guys, guys-"

Daniel interrupts the tape, staring down at something.

"What?"

Xavier snaps

Daniel lifts up the distressed metal bed frame revealing a disgusting pit filled with used needles, making me feel sick just by looking at it.

...before the timer runs out.

Can you unlock it...

and retrieve the antidote inside?

I will give you just one hint

as to where that key is

It will be like finding

a needle in a haystack.

Let the game begin.

The tape finishes.

"Someones going in there, someone is fucking going in there man!"

Xavier paces, the timer decreasing by the second.

I remain still watching the others to see what they do next, I make eye contact with Xavier before he begins charging towards me.

"No! No!"

I shouted, attempting to break free from his grasp. He carried me by my arms holding me tightly, I felt a stinging sensation rush through my body the noise of glass breaking filled my ears.

I got hit with reality. I was in a pit filled with used needles, I sobbed, feeling as if I was being stabbed all over my body.

I can hear the others shouting, seeing slight glances of people turning their backs at to me, I lay there mainly in shock until I manged to make out Xavier shouting at me to dig.

I slowly turned around my arms shook, tears rolling off my face, I can still hear Xavier yelling as I raised my hands beginning the dig through the needles, the pain becoming stronger.

"Someones gotta help her!"

Daniel yelled.

The others we're facing the wall, guiltily looking over the shoulders.

"What the fuck guys!"

He cried, pacing back and forth.

After digging for what felt like hours, I found the key attempting to drag myself through the needles to get to the edge, shakily placing the key on the outside of the pit. The sight of the needles sticking out of my arm makes me feel even more nauseous.

Xavier grabbed the key, running over to the large metal door, fumbling as he tried to open it.

I felt Amanda gently grab my arms in order to pull me out followed my Daniel, once they got me out I was laid down near the needle pit, I felt as Daniel pulled a needle from my arm my body tensed causing him to immediately stop, afraid to hurt me.

Amanda whispered to me but I couldn't hear her over Xavier shouting.

"NO! NO! NO!"

I heard him shouting, slamming the door.

"Fucking bitch!"

Is the last I hear before seeing him storming towards me, shoving Daniel away.

"Alright, that's enough."

Jonas attempted, grabbing Xavier before he could do any damage.

They agrued for a moment before Addison chimed in.

"Stop this bullshit! There's something we're not seeing, he knows us, our names-"

"Jail."

I winced again, feeling another needle being pulled from my body, following by another, I felt Amanda rest her hand on my shoulder for comfort.

I heard Daniel mumble apologises under his breath as he removed the needles .

Laura entered the room, resting on the doorframe before joining the conversation.

"Make it four."

"For what?"

"Doesn't matter."

She remarked.

"Anyone else want to own up?"

"What about you, you got juive written all over you?"

Jonas asked Daniel, as him and Amanda finished removing the needles.

"No- never been."

Daniel responded, Jonas turned to face me attempting to question me but not being sure if I was capable of answering.

"I have."

I hesitated, trembling as I sat up, with help from both Amanda and Daniel.

Jonas begins explaining about what we all may have in common.

"The only thing you people have in common, is holding me back. I'm gone."

Xavier interrupts him, aggressively storming out from the room.

Daniel wrapped his arm around my side in order to help me up, I stumbled trying to get up, my whole body hurting.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

[9haharharley1]

I'mma keep it coming with I wanna see your head canons for Danny tbh I wonder if we're similar about the boy. So I guess 002

How I feel about this character:

I love him, I really do! I had such a crush on Danny when I was a teen, made worse (or better, idk) by the fact that when the show aired, I was also just entering high school. So it was one of those, "oh look! A socially awkward teen also has to deal with the stress of living! He's just like me fr (minus the ghost powers on my part)!"

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Romantically? Vlad, Valerie, Clockwork, and Dan, but mostly Vlad.

Want to see him get railed and ruined and crying? Dan, Nocturne, Skulker, Wulf, Walker.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Tucker and Sam (provided Sam can get over some of her holier-than-thou attitude)

My unpopular opinion about this character:

This boy doesn't have a dominant bone in his entire body. I don't like reading top Danny fics, my boy deserves a break, and I'm also not a fan when he's taller and beefier than Vlad either. I stan a short king and I will take no criticism.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

It's a kids' show, so I know this was never gonna happen, but I would have loved to see him have a full psychological break. I'm talking an entire episode dedicated to Danny having a complete and total panic attack, Batman the Animated Series style. Parents want to catch and study him, one of his best friends keeps pushing him to do the superhero thing, parents and peers are pressuring him to date said pushy friend, he's failing in school, he can't retaliate against his primary bully, his future is screwed if he doesn't watch himself, the ghosts keep coming and they won't fucking stop, his sister keeps giving him these worrying looks like she's worried, why should she be worried? He's fine, everything's fine, he's only half-dead, what's the big deal?

Danny eventually has that panic attack the closer he gets to graduating, unsure of his future, scared he's gonna fail and never be able to leave Amity Park, terrified that all he has to look forward to is fighting ghosts and running/hiding from his parents. His future is forever uncertain because the alternate time line, and his friends can't understand, even if they're trying, but they just can't know what's going on with him, and he sees the fear in their eyes every time he brings up that dark future. He could go to Clockwork, but Clockwork will only give so much advice. He doesn't share more than is necessary to keep time in tact, so he eventually breaks and goes to Vlad. Who else could possibly understand if not the only other halfa in existence?

Basically, I would have loved to see him become increasingly overwhelmed until he had no choice but to run away and go to Vlad's. They make a temporary truce long enough for them to bond over their shared plight.

my OTP:

Pompous Pep, of course (you will pry this ship from my cold, dead hands)

my cross over ship:

None

a headcanon fact:

Danny totally had a crush on Vlad the first time they met. He thought he was handsome and charming and all that gross first crush stuff, and he actually enjoyed talking with him, even if him hitting on his mom was super fucking weird. Danny could look past that because he knew his mom wasn't interested, was happily married, and when Vlad wasn't focused on her, he could be pretty cool. Too bad he had to go and ruin it by revealing his evil intentions.

[the-autistic-gemini]

Hi, for my first real post, imma post my silly Maka hcs. There's a tad bit of spice in here, but it's mostly mild. Uhhh, enjoy!

• Bi bi bi! She strikes me as demiro and Demisexual and bi or pan (I'm not at all projecting fuck off) she's either a cis girl or a trans girl depending on my mood.

• For her body type and stuff she's above average height (like 5'6 or 5'7), but her limbs are so long and willowly she looks taller. Her torso is average size, and her legs are long. She's a petite with maybe a b cup chest and a tummy with a bit of chub at the bottom. She has toned muscular arms. Her skin is super soft, and bruises easy. She has scars she doesn't know the origin of and constantly has bruises around her knees.

• She totally asks pronouns anytime she meets someone (hers are she/her btw) she's all like "Hi! I'm Maka my pronouns are she/what are yours?

• She's so friendly and sweet when you first meet her then you slowly realize she has the personality a grumpy temperamental old cat

• She's a really good cook but her and soul take turns cooking and sometimes someone has to make the 3am microwave cup noodles of shame.

• After re-watching more of the show, my opinion changed bc its been a while. Still think she's a good cook but bitch has autism foods. Hates the texture of raw fish but doesn't mind it cooked. She's not really a big meat person. I think she considers going vegetarian or vegan a lot but A) soul loves meat and she doesn't want to have a moral delima and B) girl is a cheese lover and vegan cheese has a bad texture. She tried it once and wanted to spit it out. Super particular about texture. Seems like she's good at making and likes breakfast food. Mac and cheese and chicken nugget enthusiast.

• For drinks I feel like she's a water drinker but likes green tea (especially matcha I feel like her dad jokes about how Maka and matcha sound similar. She hates it) she also drinks orange or apple juice with breakfast. If she ever needs caffeine she'll drink Dr. Pepper or coffee with a small amount of cream and sugar.

• If we're talking alchohol she's not a big drinker (probs bc her dad) and never drank underage but while legal has like a glass of wine from time to time

• Mom friend in every sense of the word I feel like she consistently checks on blackstar and soul to make sure they are turning in their homework

• I feel she loves talking to strangers

• Shes such a hugger (unless she's mad at someone then she won't touch them for a week)

• Music taste hcs are so important to me, and I feel like most ppl get Maka wrong. Girl does not understand music she had to read a book to understand it; therefore, I think her music taste is odd and not stuff Soul is really into. Soul is happy she found music she likes but doesn't quite get why she likes it. I feel like she likes heavily electronic music, scenecore, and nightcore. Very upbeat stuff to help her stay alert and awake during study sessions. Most music sounds like noise to her, so it's not as off-putting to her as it is to some others.

• She falls asleep on the couch in the front room of her and souls apartment while studying a lot. Soul will see her and smile be he thinks she's cute. He'll pick her up and put her in her bed (if it's after they start dating He'll change her into night clothes)

• Speaking of night clothes she has matching pajama sets that are super soft materials or simple night gowns. She definitely sleeps in clothes most of the time I feel like she runs cold and she'd only be comfortable sleeping naked with soul A) bc she trusts him B) bc he's warm. Only reason she would not sleep naked with her other partner often is that bitch is cold

• Oh ya she's dating soul and crona btw. In my perfect little world. They have 2 completely different relationship dynamics.

• With Soul, she teases him and often shows irritation or frustration with him. I also feel like they are more intimate. She's not really soft or gentle with him she doesn't need to be they know eachothers limits and bodies and souls intuitively. They're essentially super close best friends who tease and bully eachother but also fuck. And that works for them. They didn't want anything to change their relationship when they started dating anyway .

• She's softer with Crona, it seems more like a romantic relationship in vibes. They cuddle a lot. I feel like they have self care days bc Maka is scared crona won't take care of themself on their own. Crona appreciates her doting. They never got to have a loving mom, so they love when Maka does their hair or paints her nails. They're soft. They have intimacy, but it's both less rough and less frequent than Soul and Maka. They both enjoy kissing and being soft and loving to each other.

• Maka is the leader in both her relationships. Her partners are passive she is more decisive and dominant.

• Soul and Crona don't date each other only Maka, but they will all hang out together and are good friends. They plan her birthdays together and are just kinda in eachothers corner, especially when it comes to Maka related stuff.

• I feel like tsubaki is her closet girl friend.

• Did I mention Maka has autism? No? Well, she does. I feel like she's diagnosed too

[weebsinstash]

Don’t even get me started on fairies 💀 like have you seen the folklore? Just stealing people for eternity into their realm, screaming in front of their houses, tricking them, drugging them, hypnotizing, treating their lovers like dolls, completely unaware of human sensibilities/limitations so they could force you to dance for an entire night non-stop and find it funny when you’re fainting from exhaustion, I could keep going.

I’d place them above werewolves in the “how fucked would you to have them as a yandere” but definitely not above vampires. They have some similar abilities but I’ll still say fairies are less dangerous when compared to vampires because:

1) No blood-sucking (although that is debatable lmao)

2) Seemingly limited to their natural habitat based on folklore, aka fairy realms/forests, rural or isolated areas. You probably won’t have fairies following you if you leave the country and their powers will likely lose effect.

3) Very oblivious to the human world!

Though if you’re on their territory or anywhere accessible to them and they get a hold of you you’ll definitely have a hard time escaping.

I DUNNO MAN, I think in terms of "how powerful are these creatures usually depicted in media" fairies and the fae and whatnot are like literally probably the WORST, besides outright literal demons and gods, because not only are they often depicted as powerful magic users but they're usually described as psychotic little freaks who dont even bother developing or caring for a concept of humans or human emotions or time? You're just a young woman attending your first harvest festival since coming of age and the nice man you danced with for a few minutes breaks into your home and snatches you away to a magical realm because he liked your eyes and when you finally convince him "just let me go home, if even just for a visit" you go back and it's been like 300 years and all your friends and family are dead and your little cottage is an IKEA now

You get offered a drink by a cute funny little man in the woods and you're both drunk and giggling and sharing stories and even though he's really nice it's getting late and you go to leave and he stands upright suddenly two feet taller than before and growing horns like as a stag adorned with lichen and honeybees as he's all " well actually sharing that drink was a ritual and we're like married now? So imma need you to come home to the fae kingdom with me"

You lend aid to an old man struggling to load his oxen cart and he shape-shifts into some bishounen 30yo pretty boy lookin shit with golden hair down to his ankles, "AND AS MY THANKS FOR THIS DEED, I SHALL TAKE YOU AS A MATE, KIND MORTAL" like calm down bro I basically just helped you load a moving van like what is this entrapment going on here?

God there was a writer on here who eventually deactivated that was writing some real god tier yandere fae king stuff and like i think one thing they wrote was the Reader kept having recurring dreams of getting really freaky and nasty and having fun with this guy and being at these weird fancy little balls/parties and it turns out yeah uh he was actually just really legitimately bringing you to the fae realm in your sleep and you actually were legitimately getting fucked on a throne by a full room of faeriefolk while drinking sweet berry wine that made your head empty"

Like absolutely not, you get a fae after your ass and you might as well be being chased by an evil wizard or fucking demon 💀 sure it could be fun, but the potential to be absolutely horrifying is ever present

[calethelettuce]

Waffle Night In The Sanders Household

Summary: You can't exactly get "normal" in the Sanders household. Especially on Waffle Wednesday.

TW: Remus being Remus, swearing, someone eating waffles like a heathen (To put it simply, Virgil eats waffles different- He likes to eat around the waffle indents and then leave the really thin square to eat last), "shots" (you'll see what I mean)

Relationships: Married/Parents Logicality, Kid Sides

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Remus, Janus (Janny is gender-fluid in this one!)

~

"Give me back the remote!" Roman tackled Virgil to the floor, trying to wrestle the remote out of his hand.

"Princey, I swear to god get off of me!" Virgil smacked Roman in the face, albeit not very hard, trying to shove the taller boy off of him. "Fucking Christ, jackass!"

"Don't act like you didn't just try to change the movie, you villain!"

Remus offered a handful of popcorn to Janus, who sat next to him on the other end of the couch. "Looks like we're getting a movie on top of another movie!" Remus whispered excitedly to him, "I love sibling drama!"

Janus snickered, opting to take a few pieces of popcorn from his brother.

The red and purple clad brothers continued to fight with each other on the floor, the remote eventually being flung out of Virgil's hand. They paused, staring at the remote and then back at each other.

"Fuck you." Virgil finally pushed Roman off of him, standing up.

Roman scoffed, staying on the floor and rolling onto his back. His hair was frizzy and a mess, and pieces stuck to his face. "Shut up, Jack Smellington!"

Virgil picked up the remote, kicking it over to the boy on the floor. "Remus dared me to do it." He declared, shoving his hands in his pockets. "That's all." He put his headphones back on and walked out.

~

Patton stirred the waffle batter, humming a tune similar to the song playing from his phone speaker.

"Well, I could dance with you honey ,

If you think it's funny

Does your mother know that you're out?"

Logan stood beside him, chopping up strawberries in a precise and calculated way. "I heard Remus listening to this song the other day" He observed, sliding the sliced fruit into the bowl, "Did he recommend it to you?"

"I actually recommended it to him!" Patton paused his rhythmic stirring, checking to make sure he didn't miss an important step. "He enjoys ABBA almost as much as I do!" He chuckled quietly, checking the waffle iron before scooping batter into it.

Logan hummed in response, continuing his own task. There was something oddly satisfying about how the knife sliced easily through the strawberries. He certainly was entertained by the little things, wasn't he?

The silence between the husbands was content, neither man having anything else to say.

Virgil entered the kitchen with a huff, shoving his phone into his hoodie pocket. "I have come to steal a strawberry." He said simply, standing directly to Logan's right, "I will not cease my attempts until my need has been fulfilled."

Logan raised an eyebrow, pausing mid slice. "Virgil, there's only a few more minutes left until dinner. I'm sure you can wait another 10 minutes."

"I will spontaneously combust." Virgil looked deadly serious, narrowing his eyes as he watched the cut fruit slide into the bowl.

"Oh, come on Logan!" Patton added, plating a waffle and slowly adding to the large stack of them, "They're healthy!"

Logan gave his husband a look of amusement. "He's holding a bottle of chocolate syrup."

Virgil slowly hid the bottle behind his back, keeping a straight face. "I have no such thing."

Patton laughed at that, taking his eye off the iron to ruffle the emo teen's hair (which didn't look much different after said event, though nobody was really surprised.).

Logan rolled his eyes fondly at their antics, putting down the knife. "Alright, alright. You can have one. They're already washed." He handed his son one of the largest uncut strawberries left and went back to his duty.

Virgil held the strawberry in his palm, before biting a large chunk out of it. "I appreciate it, dads."

"Don't make a mess on the couch, please." Logan handed the teen a napkin as well. "Strawberry juice is a pain to get out of fabric."

Patton winked, putting a finger to his lips. "Shhhh, you're my taste tester!"

"The couch is occupied by a bunch of disney obsessed morons." Virgil plopped himself on a stool, leaning an elbow on the island counter. "I'm observing out here." He sat quietly, nibbling on his strawberry as he watched his parents get back to work. Patton slid a waffle over to Virgil, who looked relatively surprised. ".. it's not dinner time yet, why are you giving me one now?"

"Dear, I hope you're aware I can hear you," Logan said, wiping down his area of the counter, "I'm very disappointed that you didn't ask me."

Virgil snickered, pulling a piece off of his waffle. "Maybe I'm just better."

"Keep this up and I'll take away your Minecraft game cartridge."

Virgil nearly spit out his waffle. "That's basically torture!"

Patton was standing in the corner, practically dying of laughter as he went back to cooking the insane amount of waffles needed for dinner. "Now, now, you two!" he mocked a stern tone, pouring more batter into the iron. "No fighting! That limit was reached three hours ago."

Virgil blew a raspberry at him, before continuing to eat his waffle.

Logan tossed a paper towel into the garbage, going to wash his hands. "I will not rest my case just yet.. although I suppose it can wait."

Patton giggled in a way similar to a girl in highschool who just saw her crush. "We'll talk about it later!" he gave his husband a quick kiss on the cheek before tending back to the breakfast items being cooked. "Say, Virge, how is your waffle?"

By the time Patton had asked the question, the teen had already eaten his waffle, albeit in the strange way he eats them. Nobody questioned it, though. Virgil cleared the thin squares from his plate, putting it beside the stack of plates. "Tasted like a pancake but better. Thanks." He knew Roman would bother him about it later, although he couldn't care any less. "Need any help or something?"

"Could you grab the syrup from the cabinet, kiddo?" Patton plated another waffle before turning to his husband. "L, can you go tell the boys and Jan that dinner's ready?"

"Of course, dear." Logan replied, returning the kiss Patton had given him earlier, "I'll be right back. Virgil, make sure to grab both kinds of syrup." he left directly after the request, not waiting for an answer.

"Ew, PDA." Virgil stood on the tips of his toes to grab the syrup, making sure to grab both kinds. "Imagine being happy."

Patton laughed at that, grabbing a can or two of whipped cream from the fridge. "You'll understand one day!"

"I still have no idea how you and Dad managed to get together."

The father figure sighed fondly. "Things work out the way they work out, Virge."

"Ew, stop, don't all sentimental on me-"

Patton ruffled his son's hair as he walked by. "Awh, why not?" he teased in a mushy tone, "I know you secretly love it!~"

Virgil nearly hissed, although he controlled himself long enough for the urge to subside. He'd had the habit since he was young, although he'd been trying to get out of it for quiet some time. "I would rather die alone," he declared, "Just me and my pet spiders."

Patton shivered a bit at the mentioned of the creatures. "You might change your mind one day!"

Logan popped his head into the kitchen. "The other children have settled," he informed, "although Remus is being quite the troublemaker-" he leaned back into the living room, no longer in their view. "Remus, don't put that into your mouth!"

Virgil heard Remus cackle like the miniature demon he was. How much energy does a 15 year old need to have on a Wednesday night?

He shrugged it off, heading into the dining room and putting the syrup onto the table.

"Virgey!" Remus nearly jumped out of his chair at the sight of his older brother. "Do you know how boring it was without you antagonizing Roman?!"

Virgil rolled his eyes fondly, while Roman groaned in annoyance.

"Please never leave me alone in a room with those two again." Janus ran a hand through his hair, glaring a little at the two twins. "I'm at my bullshittery limit."

"Awh, I love you too!"

Virgil sat down at his spot, with Logan and Patton following close behind. Logan held a bowl of the strawberries he had cut, while Patton handled the giant stack of waffles (which he balanced like a pro, Virgil had to admit).

"Roman, I bet I can eat more waffles than you!" Remus nudged his twin, who scoffed.

"No you can't!" Roman argued, crossing his arms, "I've held the record for three weeks! There's no beating that!"

Virgil smiled a bit at their antics. He was interested in the aftermath, although he wanted to save thinking about it until it happened. It was enjoyable when the two teenagers bickered like 7 year olds He took two waffles for himself once the plate was set down.

"I grew a quarter of an inch, I bet I can do it better than you!"

"Now, now, boys, let's not argue." Logan chided gently, placing strawberries on his own waffles with a careful amount of precision, "You can have a friendly competition, although once it gets too out of hand you're both done. Deal?"

Remus' mouth was agape. Logan almost NEVER said that! "Deal!" he nearly shouted, startling Janus (who almost choked on his water). He took his own waffles and gave Roman a cheeky smile before housing at least three in under four minutes.

"Don't choke!" Patton reminded, layering almost half the bottle of syrup onto his waffles, "That wouldn't be very fun."

"THAT WOULD BE SO FUN!"

Logan eyed his husband's choice of toppings. "You don't have nearly enough strawberries," he supplied, "There's not enough of a balance, dear."

Patton shrugged, taking a bite. "I can make up for it later!" he replied after swallowing, "After all, I am using the healthier syrup."

Logan raised an eyebrow, however didn't say anything else.

Janus ate quietly, although he didn't speak very much to begin with. He and Virgil silently communicated through eye contact and facial expression since they were sitting across from one another.

'You okay over there?'

'Fine.' Janus looked between the twins, who had just recently been banned from sitting next to each other. 'Annoying as usual.'

'Another waffle?'

'Nah.'

Virgil gave him a subtle nod before going back to his own waffles, listening in to the rambling that Remus had started about a minute ago.

"Remy said he's going to rent out a theatre to see the FNAF movie! I wish I had that much money.."

"Get a job, doofus." Virgil pointed out, biting into another strawberry, "You're 15, not 5."

"How?"

"I'll go over it with you after dinner, okay? Finish beating Roman's record."

"Hey!" Roman elbowed Virgil lightly in the side. "Don't encourage him!"

"Too bad, princey!"

~

Janus stood in the kitchen, helping to clean up dinner. Logan stood by the sink, washing the harder dishes to clean by hand, while Patton loaded everything else into the dishwasher. Janus had offered to put everything away, so he shuffled around and placed everything back in its home.

He closed the cabinet, turning around to see Patton pouring syrup into what looked like a shot glass. Patton caught his eye and winked, downing the apparent "syrup shot" in one go. He put a finger to his lips to signal it as a secret.

Janus blinked. Well, now he knew his family really were a bunch of hooligans.

"Honey, what are you doing over there?" Logan turned his head to the side, so he could stare at Patton. "Is something the matter?"

"No, everything is okay!" Patton slid another shot glass full of syrup over to Janus, who picked it up and started sipping it slowly.

Logan noticed this, and gave his husband a knowing look. "You know that's not healthy."

"What's healthy these days?" This time, Patton pulled out a mini syrup bottle and started drinking straight from it. Seriously, what was with this guy and maple syrup?

Logan sighed and went back to doing the dishes.

Janus sat on a stool, licking his now-empty glass of syrup as he observed his dads.

Virgil totally was totally gonna flip out that he missed this.

~

This is technically one of my first fics on here, so uh, thanks for reading! <3

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast Watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 39: The Captive Comet Season 1, Episode 40: The Little Prince

Episode 39: The Captive Comet OH BOY IS THIS THE EPISODE I THINK IT IS, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN

Opening with Haggar dishing out some lore, yes please universe started with a big bang and that apparently created a comet that acted like a black hole that at some point Voltron banished to a far corner of the universe inch resting

this was a fairy tale for drule children? i wonder how that story would've gone

ROMELLE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

"take it easy zarkon, eaaaasy" Haggar smokes weed for sure

she sacrificed a star fleet to be able to control the comet, another thing that feels so similar to a plot point in vf

did they just pull Romelle out of her cell just to let her freak out about the omega comet heading to arus 😭 what a petty move lotor

smart cookie, she found a way to contact the team before getting found out

"human on arus" so is arus like a colony of earths that slowly became its own governing body? Inch resting, they will still be aliens to me though

how does Coran know about the secret plan that happened before voltron split into lions if he only found out voltron after it was split into 5?? I'm gonna make this lore make sense by the end of the episode I swear

early voltron formation, shits about to get real

oh man they already got to the comet? also why did Allura look so young in that scene?

Keith: maybe your right Lance: I know im right! get his ass lance

the secret plan is to go 4 sector power setting?? oh this is so a trap YEAH ITS A TRAP THEY'RE GETTING SUCKED INTO THE COMET AND LOTOR USED ROMELLE TO GET VOLTRON TO DO IT WHAT THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD PLAN

oh man voltron is trapped trapped for realises this time, he can't even get out of the comet's gravity

ofc they contacted the alliance for help, and they'd rather let Voltron die instead of giving any help "ill see what i can do" literally i want the alliance broken

PRINCE BANDOR COMING IN TO HELP THE TEAM LETS GOO again i need to make this lore make sense and by the end of this show i fucking will

YES I WAS RIGHT THEY'RE DEAD THE TEAM ACTUALLY DIED OH MY GOD YESS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD EPISODE

and now an entire fleet of doom (lol) is heading towards Arus IS THAT THE END OF THE EPISODE HOLY SHIT

/episode end

Episode 40: The Little Prince TWO PART EPISODE LETS GO

recaap time since this was a weekly premiering show

literally starting off with an invasion of Arus now that Voltron is gone, this is wild especially because it's not even the season finale

"Coran made the situation worse by calling Prince Bandor for help" I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON BARK BITE SNARL

"little fella" bandor you're only taller than pidge by a head shut up LMAO

Coran actually doing work for once and helping out, he's becoming a dependable person slowly but surely

Lotor is yelling about this next robeast being the most powerful there is,, my guy you say this every time just pick one of them to back and stick with it

"sorry we shouldve helped you when you asked earlier but now we're fucked and we genuinely can't do anything now <3" FUCK THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON RAAA

GOD IS THAT YOU?? WHAT IS THIS

THEY'RE LITERALLY MEETING GOD AND SHE'S GIVING THEM A CHOICE, GO TO HEAVEN OR KEEP LIVING AND GO TO HELL WHEN THEY REALLY DIE

what heroes, they chose to end up going to hell if it meant being able to save the universe IMMEDIATELY NOTING THIS DOWN FOR FUTURE ANGST EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT IT

VOLTRON LITERALLY HAS THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON THEIR SIDE LMAOO

back to romelle and now she's chained up, what did they do to you bestie

ITS BANDOR COMING FOR HIS SISTER HE'S SO REAL FOR THAT

there he is! voltron to save the day and destroy that robeast with blazing sword!

i'm sorry couldn't follow lotor to planet doom? what bullshit

IS GOD TALKING TO ROMELLE? OH MY GOD, SHE GOT SHOT INTO THE PIT OF SKULLS NOT PUSHED

THIS IS A THREE PARTER HELLO???

/episode end

[ryansjane]

I didn’t know gmmtv had it in them to put Joss and Gawin together. It’s not just the companies/media from all over who have a really fucked up idea on what makes a queer couple or what a queer couple should look like and it’s all based in heteronormativity. One almost always needs to be smaller (feminine) and one needs to be taller/bigger (masculine). We even see this in wlw like one needs to be more masculine and one needs to be “the woman.” It makes me sick 🤮. My beautiful gl (me trying to flex on her ❤️) and I have similar styles and people are always shocked by us being a couple. Two feminine people can be together just like two masculine people can be together. Now other shows across the board need to catch up because having one show every once in a while isn’t cutting it.

yeah I completely agree, gender roles are so prevalent even in queer couples & it fucking sucks! the worst thing about bl is that even when two actors in a pairing are the same height & size, we're so used to there being a clear top & bottom every time that we'll pick up on small cues to STILL make them fit that type of binary. in the case of jossgawin it would be skintone (gotta love colorism amiright 🙄), the slight height difference & ESPECIALLY facial features. joss has a super masculine face while gawin has softer features so in this case everyone knows that he's gonna be the "bottom"... (and also the trailer literally has joss carrying him bridal style as if he weighs nothing LMAO.) but yeah anyways, next time I wanna see two more feminine actors paired together in a bl, I think it would be way more groundbreaking since feminine men are sadly very ridiculed by society. I'm very hyped for the tall4tall rep of jossgawin though lol, and girllllll I'm so jealous of you I want a fem4fem relationship so bad 😭😭😭 claiming your energy & congrats on your gf! 🫶

xxx

[steampunkvampireworm]

ooh baby we're back in business for sure

so after my rage-fuelled obsession with the movie had died down i kind of forgot about it for the most part. (that is a lie. i am lying.) but one day i somehow discovered that it was based on a BOOK and set out to read said book out of morbid curiosity. (i expected it to be just a novel version of the movie, and i wanted to see how an author could create something so empty using words. i was wrong of course, but that's not the point.) i figured it would be at the secondhand bookstore, but i looked there to no avail. i did, however, find another novel by the same author (walter tevis); the steps of the sun. i flipped to a random page and it appeared to show the protagonist whining about how his testicles don't work. this was unpromising.

i then read the man who fell to earth on internet archive, where it is available entirely for free. you just have to make an account and then while you're reading you have to click “renew” once every hour. it took me somewhere around 4-5 hours to read i think. and it was really good.

genuinely. it was a fantastic book. (i ended up later buying it from the regular bookstore because it turns out that walter tevis also happens to be the author of the queen's gambit, that book about chess which has a show based on it, so all his books got a new life thanks to one of them being adapted.)

the book, much like the film, follows an alien called thomas jerome newton who comes to earth to save the few remaining people on his planet, except that this planet has been ravaged by nuclear war. it's also got a name: anthea. a minor issue with the novel is that it contains a lot of info-dumps, even right from the start, but compared to the unexplained torrent of bullshit in the movie, this is a fucking relief. after the pawn-shop scene which plays out pretty similarly to the movie but with more fun, relatable anxiety about being an alien and having to talk to service workers, we get some fairly unimportant and rather strange information about the alien's biology, which is also very silly and kind of fun despite being unoriginal and making no sense. remember, the year was somewhere around 1963 and the man who wrote the book was an english professor at a university. for example, antheans don't have an appendix, or wisdom teeth, or fingernails. don't ask me why. they're basically just humans but taller and thinner and with a lot of parts missing. (i like it though, it's silly.)

the rest of the book actually has a plot, similar to the vestiges of a plot in the film, wherein newton becomes fabulously wealthy, moves to the middle of nowhere with the main girl, builds a rocket-ship, hires nathan bryce who suspects him to be an alien, unrelated to this gets captured by the government, etcetera. these things are actually explained as they happen, and make sense without you having to read a guide alongside the book. in addition to the plot, there are also characters with distinctive personalities. i read the book partly aloud to my friend, and gave the characters actual voices (something i never do when reading aloud). the characters have noticeable changes throughout the novel, and each of the main trio forms a connection with the others. there is no romance plot whatsoever, which was lovely. the characters are very human, very relatable, and very ordinary, despite one of them literally being an alien. they have mundane struggles with life, work, relationships, and addiction, which are not, in my opinion, romanticized or used for spectacle. there are also themes, mainly those of isolation and alienation. it may not be the most thrilling book, there may not be a mystery or a romance or action, so if that's what you want, go read james bond. (the movies are even good, for the most part.) but while walter tevis may not have written an epic spy thriller, or a murder mystery, or an erotic romance, he did write a very beautiful little book about humanity. PLEASE READ IT IT'S SO GOOD PLEASE—

so the thing about the book is that while it is a fantastic, genuinely quite well-written (though dated) sci fi novel with a plot and honestly very likeable characters and themes that make you think instead of pretending to make you think, it does have one problem. it puts into high relief just how absolutely fucking awful the movie is, worse than i could have thought, worse than the world could have known. it is my sincere belief that the screenwriter HEARD of the book from a friend and then read it in it's entirety…during an acid-fuelled fever dream. (not as unlikely as you'd think honestly.)

but the problem with that theory is that that upon rewatching the film, there are several incredibly specific elements from the book which somehow ended up in the movie. this includes the painting of the fall of icarus and its accompanying poem, the hundreds of identical wedding rings which newton sells in the beginning to make enough money to meet with the lawyer, the shiny fingernails??? (sidenote i feel like bowie just kept putting on more nail polish as filming went on, his nails seem to get shinier every scene), the fucking oatmeal cookies (why), and probably others. this means that the filmmakers read the book and decided to replace all the themes and metaphors with surface-level spectacle, all of the plot-relevant internal monologue with shots of characters staring at one another or into space, and all of the dialogue with sex. (and everyone else was too high to argue, i suppose.)

this is such a tragedy that i can hardly comprehend it. there are even flashes, within the film, of what it could have been if nic roeg hadn't been entirely absorbed in making a cheap-looking, disjointed, “artsy” pile of garbage with an r rating slapped on to garner some kind of reaction. i would call it a porno, but that's an insult to porn directors. instead i will call it what it is, which is pathetic.

in one scene which appears to be entirely original wherein the two main characters (because nathan bryce is a sidenote of a sidenote in this movie and serves only to make bowie look prettier than he is in the ending scene) are hanging out in the hotel room and mary-lou (in the book she's called betty jo but they changed her name and aged her down about twenty years so that they could make her have sex with the main character) asks what newton does for a living and he replies, “oh, i'm just visiting,” and mary-lou, delighted, says “oh! a traveller!” and newton (bowie) gives this sweet smile and for a moment i could pretend that everything was going to be fine, except it wasn't, and the girl immediately begins blabbing again. i just wish that they had included more lines like these, more actual fucking dialogue, because it was the part of the book which i liked the best, along with the possibly-unintentional comedy.

one final thing to note before i close out this chapter is that in the book newton is constantly described as being incredibly fragile, with bones like a bird's, barely able to withstand earth's gravity (that being 3 times the gravity of his own planet, which actually checks out scientifically, and interestingly implies that anthea is slightly smaller than earth) to the point where even being bumped into would probably injure him. being bumped into. so like. if he had sex like he does in the movie he would genuinely probably just fucking die.

stay tuned for more, hopefully i don't lose this manic pixie dream bitch energy by tomorrow morning.