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lucienarcheron · 6 months ago

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Spirit Meets the Bones XXIV

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Author's Note: anddd we're finally starting with the new chapters! I hope you all enjoy :)

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for being part of this journey with me!!

tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @readthelastpaage / @teddyhoneybear / @positivewitch / @krem-does-stuff / @clockwork-ashes / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @eachies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee / @stormycleric / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @theeternalstruggle / @the-midnightwriter / @illyrianvalkyrie / @that-golden-lyre / @ladystarrynight / @rityrooroo / @thewilderheart

Find it all here.

Hearing the words from her lips – it was like a boulder dropping right on his chest.

But the confirmation made up for whatever else had happened during this day. It set what was left of his wretched soul on fire and the need to claim her nearly had him drop to his knees.

She wasn’t repulsed. She wasn’t running. She stood in his arms, hands at her sides as she stared at him and all Eris wanted to do was taste every inch of her.

“When — how did you know?” she asked.

“I’ve sensed something different about this relationship with you from the very first night we spent together.” he said quietly. “It wasn’t until you were with your father and I felt you. Like an invisible string being pulled.”

“Like a thread.” she said quietly.

“A thread,” he confirmed. “And it dragged me right to you.”

Iris swallowed and she opened her mouth to speak then closed it once more. Her mind had gone blank as quickly as her heart rate had increased. She couldn’t stop staring at her husband who had always been so much more than she had anticipated. She saw the hesitation in his eyes, the slight panic that hadn’t left him since.

One kiss had changed the trajectory of their relationship.

And this was going to be the one thing that unraveled them both at the seams.

“You’re my mate.” she whispered again, still in disbelief and Eris nodded.

His throat bobbed as she said the words once more and the flame that had engulfed them finally disappeared. “Yes.” he confirmed again, watching her chest rise and fall, her beautiful eyes blinking rapidly as she processed.

“You’re — you’re —”

“Yes.” he said as his thumb caressed the column of her neck softly. “It seems you and I were always destined to meet… and be a little more.”

Iris couldn’t help but think about how much of an understatement that was. She could only think of everything he had just told her, of the loneliness they had both drowned in for years. Only to find their way to each other in a faith-forgotten land — in a place meant to snuff them both out.

“You knew for hours,” she finally found herself saying. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

She watched his expression dim at her question and after everything he had already shared, Iris hadn’t expected the uncertainty on his face at this.

“I wanted to. I was going to before Finn interrupted.” he said quietly.

His words from earlier flashed in her mind.

“I’m terrified to tell you.”

“Because…you are something I had not anticipated. Because you never wanted this. You never wanted me.” he had said quietly. “And I am…overwhelmed by this thing between us.”

And all at once, Iris felt herself soften and a deep, painful ache unfurled in her chest.

“Of all the things that happened today, this is what you’d been most hesitant to share with me?” she asked quietly and the ache intensified when his throat bobbed again.

“We’ve barely started being something close to… normal.” he said tightly and slowly pulled back from her. “Everything between us has already been moving so fast. You’ve only started to feel safe with me and people don’t feel safe around me. But you —” His fists clenched at his sides. “You do.”

“I - I do.” Iris said softly. “And this seems to be worrying you more than anything.”

“Because now this is another thing I’m shoving at you.” he said through clenched teeth. “Tying you to me and this fucked up family forever —”

Her brows went up as she watched him. “Eris —”

Eris couldn’t look at her as he shook his head and then quietly said, “I have spent my whole life guarding all that I am from everyone. And you came into my life and made me…crave. Want.” He waved a hand almost helplessly. “Being mates is just another thing thrown at you. And I don’t have it in me if you don’t…want me this way. If it’s only a bond making you stay. Tolerating me.”

Iris wondered if he could feel her heart break at the confession. Had no one ever seen how afraid he was? How alone?

“You seem to forget,” she began gently. “That I had nothing before you.”

Eris glanced at her as she took a step toward him. “This may not have been a choice for either of us in the beginning but…we made a choice to try together,” she said. “You and I decided we wanted to make this work and that was before any bond came to light.” She shrugged her shoulders almost helplessly. “I’d like to think I’m not still here because you’re just tolerating my presence.”

“No.” he said immediately and Iris tried not to smile at the scowl that followed his quick response or at the way the tip of his ears turned red. “I — I —”

Iris mustered a small, teasing smile. “You have so many feelings for me, don’t you?”

His scowl deepened. “If you haven’t picked up on that by now, I’m going to open the window and fling myself out of it.” he snapped, and Iris bit back another smile. “Obviously I like you.”

“Ah, a swoon-worthy confession if I’ve ever heard one.” she said as color bloomed on her cheeks at his reluctant confirmation. “Having feelings must be so difficult for you.”

“I hate every single thing that is happening to me at this moment.” he said through clenched teeth and Iris couldn’t help the strained chuckle that escaped her.

“Really?” she asked and moved in front of him again. “Even if I tell you that I… obviously like you too?”

Eris pursed his lips, his face heating. He knew his insecurities had nearly suffocated him today — especially at this moment. But those words sent a warm feeling fluttering in his chest. Eris knew Iris…liked him. And yet.

Very few people openly claimed to enjoy having him around. He needed to hear her say these things.

“You seem surprisingly calm about all of this.” he said, his shoulders tensing as she watched him, pink coloring her cheeks.

“Shocked and calm are two very different things.” she said with a knowing look and Eris couldn’t help the way his lips twitched at the words. “I’m still…processing. So maybe I’ll lose my mind tomorrow and you can be shocked and calm about it then.”

He snorted. “Should I offer you my condolences?” he added and though it was a joke, she heard the tension in his tone. “That I’m the one you’re fated with? That you’re truly stuck with me now?”

Iris shook her head and with a breath, her hands grasped his. This male who was burdened with so much, whose deep-rooted fear of remaining alone in it nearly suffocated him. Of being left alone in this life. He had been expecting her to react differently.

And had it been a few weeks ago, Iris would’ve run. She would’ve done anything not to be tied down to the Eris everyone thought they knew.

But now? It was…a sense of relief that Iris felt. She was relieved that the person who cared, who made her feel was the one fate wanted her to be with. That the person she may not have initially chosen as a partner was the only partner she wanted. Iris was certainly calmer than she expected because of how right it felt. How much it made sense.

Any resistance Iris had felt towards him in the beginning, had been chipped away long before a mating bond changed anything. And he felt the same way. He wanted her. And he wouldn’t leave.

“I’m afraid I should be offering you my condolences.” she said with a small, sad smile and Eris’s brows furrowed.

“Why would you say that?”

“I don’t have much to offer you.” she said quietly. Especially as a mate. Especially if she thought about who he previously wanted to wed; how could she compare to the power of the Morrigan or what Nesta Archeron had offered him? What could she, who had nothing, give to someone who already had everything?

She glanced away from him. “You’ve given me so much in the time we’ve been together and I don’t know that I —

But Eris had cut her off by firmly gripping her chin to force her to meet his gaze. “Do not finish that statement,” he said. “You’ve offered me more than you already know.”

She had offered him companionship and soft hands. A relationship where he wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where understanding and a little room for kindness were the only requirements.

He forced himself to swallow and hold her gaze as his hand dropped to hold hers. “You offered me a space to be something more than what I’ve been obligated to be for years.” he continued softly. “You have no idea what you’ve offered me.”

“And is it — am I enough?” came her whispered question.

“Am I?” he asked in return. “Even if staying with me — being my mate, would likely never bring you peace?”

Husband and wife shared a glance and without saying a word, the answer stood between them and a slow, steady tension filled the room: the confession, the realization hanging heavy between them.

Iris glanced down at their hands. “Eris,” she said softly then let out another breath as she glanced back at him. “Being with you is the first time I’ve ever known what peace could look like.”

Eris scoffed weakly, his voice tight as he asked, “How can you say that living here? With all that you know now? With everything to come?”

Iris shook her head slowly, her expression almost helpless. “You bring me ease. You make me feel safe.” she said, flushing deeply at her confession. “Anything outside of us…I think we can manage that together. As best as we can, we can fight for that peace.”

Eris felt that ache of self-loathing in his chest. “How can you say I bring you peace when already, we have to fight so hard for it?”

Iris hesitated, her expression cautious.“Aren’t all the important things worth fighting for?” she asked quietly, and when Eris’s expression tightened, she continued, “You have shared so much with me today and I know that hasn’t been easy. I know everything between us hasn’t been easy either and while I don’t know if I’m ready to fully accept a mating bond yet…” She licked her lips and met his gaze, the flush on her cheeks giving away the shyness she felt. “I do know that I want whatever this is with you. I know that I have accepted you.”

Eris’s head dipped at her words and he tried not to let the visceral relief he felt show, tried not to let it bring him to his knees. They could work on a mating bond. They still needed time for that and Eris would give her all the time in the world as long as she accepted him. As long as she wanted him.

“I know there’s much we have to figure out together,” he said, a slight edge to his tone. “And I know we will need more time but —”

“Tomorrow.” She said, silencing him with a hand to his lips and his brows furrowed as he watched her. Iris gave him a small smile and slowly, without taking her eyes off Eris, she walked him back to their bed and gently pushed him to sit. “It’s been a long day. Let’s worry about everything else tomorrow and instead focus on just you and me tonight.”

“Just you and me.” he repeated and Iris nodded as she stood before him.

All the panic, all the hurt and pain and anger that they had dealt with tonight, all of it seemed to deflate at the simple words. All of it faded away.

She let a finger gently caress his face and wondered if Eris could hear how wildly her heart was beating as he shuddered beneath her touch. That she, of all people, could make Eris Vanserra shudder — could make him feel.

Her husband had many faces and played many roles but in the end, the most important one was the one that looked at her like she held his world in her hands. The face that was begging deep, deep down to be seen and loved.

They may not have been each other’s choice in the beginning, but they would be each other’s choice from now until they were no more. He was hers in a way she had never dreamed anyone would be and Iris would take care of what was hers. She would take care of his bleeding heart.

There was so much left to discover between them, so much to see but tonight would be a new start for them both.

“You and I are used to hands that beat down. That break.” she started quietly. “And maybe everything we went through was so that when we met, we’d understand.”

Eris felt his chest threatening to cave in at the way she looked at him, as though she could see right through him. “Understand what?” he forced himself to ask and the corner of her mouth ticked up.

“That there are hands that hurt and hands that heal. That soothe.” Iris continued, her voice a whisper. “That those hands can be your person and your peace, if given the chance.”

Gods, he was going to throw up. And Eris tried not to show it – tried not to make it too obvious what this day, what this conversation was doing to him.

“Is that what I am now?” he said, attempting humor that didn’t last when he continued, “Your person?”

Iris gave him a half-smile, feeling her heart spasm at the tiny crack in his voice she hadn’t missed. “Among other things apparently,” she said, her thumb grazing his cheek. “If that doesn’t affect your delicate sensibilities, of course.”

A small chuckle escaped him. “Of course. As long as you being mine doesn’t affect yours.”

“Is that what I am now? Yours?” she teased gently and he shot her a look that had her chuckling. “Careful now, husband, it sounds like you’re very enamored with me.”

Eris forced himself to roll his eyes, feeling heat spread through him at her words – her gaze – her touch. “Oh wife,” he said and sighed without taking his eyes off her. “I am so very enamored.”

Her lips twitched and Iris leaned in to place a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth then held his gaze as she slid to sit next to him.

And a thrill went through her at the way Eris watched her, his gaze curious, possessive — with a hunger that Iris felt deep in her soul. It overwhelmed her. This feeling of being wanted. Needed.

Nobody had ever needed her. But Eris did.

They were starved for a safe touch, for a connection that was only theirs.

She wasn’t sure how much he needed but if the ache in his gaze matched the depth of her own, Iris wanted to give what he needed – what she wanted. A kiss to soothe. A gentle touch of a hand. To see and be seen.

“This is strange.” she whispered.

“Very.” Eris agreed.

“I’m not quite sure where to go from here.”

Eris watched her lovely face, clocking the slight hesitation – the little space between them. He opened his palm and the corner of her mouth ticked up as she slid her hand in his.

“That depends.” he said and she furrowed her brows. “Are you feeling dramatic or tired?”

“Dramatic?” Iris asked with an amused expression and Eris couldn’t help the twitch of his lips.

“Elain didn’t speak to Lucien for three years when she found out they were mates. I’d like to prepare myself if that’s the route you’re planning to take.”

Iris snorted then nodded to her right. “I was thinking more so to take your suggestion of leaping out of the window instead.”

And after everything this day had put him through, it should’ve shocked Eris that he could laugh. Even if it was a quiet chuckle. It should’ve rocked his world that he felt lighter sitting here next to the female who had been a stranger to him not too long ago than he had ever felt in his life.

His hand found its way to her cheek and the cracked pieces of his heart shook when she leaned into his hand, her hand wrapping gently around his wrist to hold him, to anchor them both to this moment.

Mates. Mates. Mates. Mates.

It was a melody that wrapped itself around them – a symphony of emotions, too many to process.

Where did they go from here? He swallowed. If it was up to the carnal desires coursing through him at the sight of her and the bond chafing at his skin, Eris would’ve already been buried in her. They would be sharing the pleasures of being mates.

But he couldn’t. Not when he wasn’t in full control of his emotions. Not when he could hurt her in his greed. Not when the thought of his skin touching another person made him want to set himself on fire.

The version of himself before Iris might’ve succumbed just to feel something. Who he was trying to shape himself into now needed more.

Eris licked his lips, hesitating for a moment. He was not used to asking anything of anyone — did not like the feeling of needing anything from anyone but…

For the second time in a matter of hours, he confessed what he usually kept buried.

“I am so tired of all this.” he murmured. “Being in this place. Dealing with everything outside of this room.”

Iris’s expression fell, her chest tightening at the words. “I know.” she whispered. “Let’s rest easy. Let me be here with you.”

Eris licked his lips again, the heat of embarrassment coursing through him at the way he wanted to sink into her words, sink into her arms, and allow just that.

He’d allow himself to sink into her kisses. Neither of them had to say anything. His eyes held the question and Iris answered by leaning closer.

Holding her face with a tender touch, he kissed his wife. His lips brushed hers in greeting and slowly, Eris let himself go. He kissed her and let every other moment of this day wash away, focusing only on the feeling of her lips, the heat of her body next to his, and the soft noises she made.

“Eris.” she whispered against his lips and Eris couldn’t help but deepen the kiss as she opened for him, a hand running through her hair and down her back. His mouth moved to taste more of her, kissing her jawline and sliding to her neck, his tongue darting out for a taste then back to her teasing mouth to swallow those little noises he loved so much.

He wanted — he needed —

Turning his body into hers, his hands tangled themselves into her hair, a noise he could only describe as hungry slipping from his mouth into hers and he shuddered when he felt her fingertips skimming across his skin and up his arms.

A hand slid from her hair and wrapped around her throat, his grip tightening gently and Eris intended to pull her closer, devour her further — but Iris had stiffened beneath his grip and so had he when he felt her fingers dig into his back. A snarl slipped from his throat as a sharp breath slipped from her lips and Iris ripped his hand away and pulled back, nearly shoving him off the bed as he pulled away from her.

“No.” they snapped in unison and then froze, his hands raised away from her as Iris’s own hand covered her neck, their breathing shallow.

“Not — don’t — don’t hold me like that.” she stuttered.

A tense silence stretched between them, anxiety skating down Eris’s spine and his chest tightened at the expression on her face. At the slight panic she was trying to hide that mirrored his own. At the tense caution, waiting for him to react. As if he’d be upset. As if he didn’t immediately understand why she reacted that way. As if he hadn’t reacted the same way snarling at her like an animal.

And it crushed him because he could hear the fast beating of her heart in line with his own. He didn’t realize it would bother him. He – he liked her touch. Gods, he wanted her to touch him but not – not –

He straightened, his hands falling to his lap as guilt and embarrassment tore at him. This was exactly why he wouldn’t let himself go further tonight. “I didn’t realize it would bother you.” he finally said quietly. “I didn’t think. I’m sorry.”

“It’s — it’s okay.” she managed, her face flushed and Iris tried to hide her own embarrassment at the moment being interrupted by her hands and her reaction.

“No, it’s not,” Eris said firmly, a muscle feathering in his jaw as he watched her. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t like or touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. You are always safe with me.”

She felt her heart flutter at the words. Safe. Since that first night together, she had wondered if safe would be her reality with him.

“I know.” she said then swallowed, slowly bringing both hands back to settle in her lap and calm her breathing. “I’m – I”m sorry for touching your back. My hands just slipped. I didn’t think.”

Eris shook his head. “It’s – it’s fine.” he muttered. “I told you, you can always touch me…I didn’t think I would…react that way.”

Iris bit her lip. “I – I didn’t expect to feel that way either.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “You’ve held me by the back of my neck before and I — I liked it. And I like it when you kiss my neck.”

His hold never hurt. His lips were always so soft on her skin. It made her forget her father’s hand.

“But no hands wrapped around your throat.” he confirmed gently.

“Not – not yet.” she whispered and Eris’s mouth curled softly, causing Iris’s flush to deepen.

“Not yet?” he asked and carefully, slowly, raised his hand to brush a strand of her hair back.

She licked her lips. She had thought a lot about his hands and what she’d imagine he’d do with them. Her flush deepened as he gave her a knowing look.

“I…like the idea of your hands on my throat.” Iris confessed shyly. “But for now…”

“Kisses only?” he suggested and after a breath, she nodded, watching his face.

She hadn’t meant to react that way, hadn’t even thought it would bother her. Until he squeezed and it triggered another hand on her throat. A hand she hated more than anything and Iris wished she had let Eris wipe him from existence so her father wouldn’t ruin more moments for her.

Her husband only watched her calmly and as he did, Iris felt her shoulders start to relax, her body calming. Eris gave her a small smile.

“Kissing is one of my favorite things to do,” he said. “Especially when your skin tastes like heaven.”

Iris couldn’t help the weak chuckle that escaped her lips and leaned in to rest her head against his shoulder gently. His hands immediately tightened around her and she felt her chest ache.

A few moments of silence passed before Iris sat back and met his gaze once more.

“I’m sorry for ruining the moment.” Iris said quietly, her fingers tracing the scattered freckles on his shoulder.

Eris’s expression flattened and he gave her a hard look. “You ruined nothing,” he said firmly, his hand sliding down her back and back up absently, soothingly. “We were both caught up in the moment.”

Iris shook her head gently. “It’s alright. We’re…figuring it out.” she said quietly then slowly leaned in to shyly kiss the corner of his mouth. “Is your back the only place I shouldn’t touch yet?”

He felt his wretched heart skip at her question and Eris was already on the edge of a heart attack just with this conversation alone. He wanted her to touch him everywhere. Every surface of his skin to replace any touch before hers.

“For now.” he only said and she nodded slowly. She watched him as he watched her and Iris would never get over how she had the power to make the Prince of Autumn blush.

He seemed to struggle with his next words and Iris waited, knowing just how hard this night had been for him.

“Will you lay with me?” he finally asked quietly and Iris blinked at the request, then nodded with a small smile, a light flush in her cheeks.

They let go, their hands reluctantly separating as the two moved to rest on their respective sides of the bed but they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. There was something in the casualness of the movement, in the routine of them shifting around their bedroom that built a sensual tension between them.

Until Iris clocked Eris’s stiff movements as he tried to get comfortable on his stomach. He tried to hide how worn out his body was — didn’t want to see the way her expression dropped again even if it made his stupid heart skip a beat, to know that he had someone who worried about him like this. Who could ease these moments for him. And Eris tried not to break when instead of saying anything, Iris silently moved a pillow for him to place it beneath him.

He could only nod in gratitude, color marking his face as he slowly settled in and glanced at her, silently lifting his arm, waiting for her to slide into the space next to him.

Iris glanced at him for a moment as a silly sense of shyness crawled its way into her chest and she bit her lip.

“Are you sure?” she whispered and Eris quirked a brow at the question.

“I like it when you’re close,” he murmured and Iris heard the unspoken sentence to follow those words, saw it in his eyes, what he really wanted to say, I need you close.

A heartbeat passed, and then Iris allowed herself to sink into his side with that small, shy smile.

Eris pulled her into him and a shuttered breath slipped out of her lips at their closeness, at the careful way he held her, and gods, she knew her heart was beating so fast.

All of the other times he had held her or touched her…she knew that this time, it felt different. A new awareness sat between them; the hands of fate rested over them. She wished now more than ever the earlier touching hadn’t caused such a panic.

Iris adjusted herself, turning on her side so she could watch him as he always watched her.

Mate. Her mate.

The revelation made her skin tingle as they sat in silence and she still, to this moment, wasn’t sure it was real. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked, scanning his expression for any signs of discomfort. “Do you want me to get you more of the healing ointment?”

Eris only gave her a short smile. “I’m fine.” he said but Iris shot him a look that made the corner of his mouth twitch. “Exhausted. But fine.” His brows furrowed as he watched her face. “Are you alright?”

“I’m more worried about you.”

Eris grunted in response, the hand wrapped around her waist moving to slide slowly up her back. “I’ll be fine. So stop looking at me like that or I really will fling myself out the window.” he said and Iris pursed her lips.

“I’m not allowed to be worried about you? You’re my husband.”

“And a little more than that too.”

As it fell silent between them once more, Iris felt her heartbeat speed up at his tone. That low, sultry tone.

What was going to happen now? Clearly, things had escalated. Where did that leave them? What did that mean for them outside of this room? Do they tell anyone? How long would they wait to solidify their bond? How soon did she want to?

Her eyes fell to his bare shoulder, the arm wrapped around her feeling heavier. His shoulders bore such a burden and now she was another one added to the list. Another person he had to protect. How could she help him? How could she ease his struggle instead of causing more of it?

How long would it take him to start resenting that, even as her mate?

“Iris?”

She blinked and met his gaze as he assessed her. Iris let her eyes roam, focusing first on his bare chest, then resting on his collarbone. She let a hand tentatively slide to trace the bare skin of his shoulder carefully.

“Maybe…Maybe I am being too calm about this.” she whispered and Eris gave her an amused look.

“Are you going to run away screaming now?” he said. “I’ll be a gentleman and give you a headstart.”

Iris snorted softly. “Chase me until the bitter end, hm?” she said and met his gaze, the look he gave her heating her skin.

“Oh, absolutely. The chase is the fun part.”

She tried to chuckle but her expression fell instead. Now that they were mates, tied in a way that couldn’t be changed, that mattered more than anything else…the weight of it all grew heavier. Iris realized how she’d tensed when his hand had slid from her waist to brush up and down her back, soothingly.

“A question for a question.” he murmured and Iris glanced at him, the corner of her mouth curling up.

“A question for a question.” she repeated.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“That’s less of a question and more of a demand, husband.”

“What’s on your mind, oh smartass wife of mine?” he corrected with a teasing tone.

Iris looked away with a small chuckle before sighing softly. “Too many things, if I’m being honest.”

“Such as?”

Iris bit her lip again then frowned. She didn’t want him worrying any more than he already did. They’d – they’d take it day by day. It would be fine. They were in this together.

And yet, she couldn’t help her question.

“Don’t you think this is…crazy?” she said quietly. “A few months ago we were complete strangers…what are the odds of us meeting the way we did?”

Eris gave a slow shrug. “Fate is a funny thing. It is the one thing we cannot escape,” he said. “I barely thought marriage was for me and yet…here we are.”

Iris hummed and then silence fell once more between them. There were so many thoughts swirling in her mind. She wasn’t sure which to ask first.

“Will we…tell anyone?”

Eris’s expression hardened, his grip tightening on her waist briefly. “I would rather we kept it between us for as long as possible. I can only imagine how much worse my father will make things if he finds out what you are to me.”

Iris bit her lip. “What about your mother?”

She watched as Eris stiffened slightly then let out a sigh. “I’m sure she’s sensed it for a while. I wouldn’t put it past her.” he said but glanced at Iris. “But yes. I do want to tell her.”

“I’m alright with that.”

Eris paused for a moment, glancing away from Iris before clearing his throat and shifting slightly to meet her gaze once more. “Lucien knows.”

Iris blinked. “He does? Since when?”

He nodded, hoping his fidgeting wasn’t too noticeable. “When we visited them…outside, during our conversation,” he said. “I may have been overwhelmed and shared more than I intended.”

Iris blinked again. “I see.”

“Does that bother you?” he asked quietly and Iris bit the inside of her cheek as she watched him, thinking it over before shaking her head.

“No. If you trust Lucien, I trust Lucien.” she said and Eris nodded, swallowing his relief.

“He’s one of the very few people that I do.” he continued. “That's why I’m glad I told him. I wanted…I wanted to make sure you had somewhere safe outside this place. That should anything happen, you could go to him.”

Iris felt her expression soften. “Eris…”

Though he shrugged, Eris knew the heat rising on his face gave away his true feelings. “I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a plan for everything.”

Iris chuckled softly. “You had a plan for everything except me.”

His chuckle echoed hers. “You did throw a very big wrench into my plans.” he agreed and she flipped him off half-heartedly, earning her another chuckle. “I never said I was complaining.”

“How could you? I’m so lovely.” she said with a polite smile that made him snort.

“Yes, especially when threatening to stab me. What else could I have asked for?”

Iris couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “This does seem awfully convenient for you.” she mused. “Wife and mate all in one package.”

“For you as well, I’d wager.” He said with a smirk. “I am very rich and well-endowed.”

She swatted his chest gently. “Not to mention incredibly humble. Don’t be crass.”

He couldn’t help the chuckle and squeezed her waist again, marveling at the fact that he could laugh at anything after this day. “We are well past me being crass. You should know better by now.” he said sagely. “So if you’re thinking about leaving me, it’s too late I’m afraid.”

Iris sighed playfully. “Who knew you’d be so clingy? I mean, one kiss sent you into a spiral, who knows once we’ve done more what you’ll be like? I’m never going to get rid of you.” Her cheeks flushed in delight at his laugh and she couldn’t help her own chuckle.

“Thinking about doing more with me, are you?” he asked, his voice dropping in a way that made Iris’s heartbeat quicken.

“Maybe.”

He sighed rather dramatically then deadpanned, “And the saga of maybes continues.”

Iris’s laugh was muffled as she hid her face. And maybe it was his hand resting against the silk of her robe or his teasing words or the now acknowledged mating bond between them that she remembered his earlier request and met his gaze shyly again.

“Do you remember what you requested before you left?”

Eris quirked a brow, the corner of his mouth curling up. “I do.” he said quietly. “Don’t tell me this is the one time you’ve decided to listen?”

Her chuckle was a little breathless and Iris could only bring herself to nod. Eris groaned, closing his eyes and Iris couldn’t help her soft laugh.

“I did say it was under consideration.” she said.

His hand seemed heavier on her back and Eris opened his eyes once more, his gaze unreadable as he watched her.

“Do you remember our first night together? When you helped me with my dress?” she whispered.

“How could I forget?” he murmured. “I think about my hands touching your bare skin too often for my own good.”

Iris flushed. “I – I think about your hands touching my bare skin all the time.” she said.

“Do you now?”

“Unfortunately.”

“What a disgusting habit you picked up there, wife.”

“I did learn from the best, husband.”

Eris’s lips twitched at her response and without looking away, his hand slid down her curves to settle on her upper thigh, his thumb toying with the slit of her robe. “Oh, the things I want to teach you, mate.” he said, his voice velvet sin, and Iris couldn’t help but shudder, heat pooling low in her belly at his tone, at the way the word mate tugged deep inside her.

Gods, she wanted him to touch her so badly. They could handle brief, light touches, could they not?

And he must’ve seen the desire in her gaze because slowly, as if giving her room to protest if she wanted to, Eris slid his hand beneath her robe, making contact with the smooth skin of her bare thigh.

Eris heard her intake of breath and tried not to tremble stupidly as his thumb caressed her skin. He tried to breathe easily, his gaze not wavering from hers as he squeezed her upper thigh gently.

“If this day had gone differently,” he began, his voice low. “My reaction to this conversation would have a different outcome.”

“Oh?”

His only confirmation was a grunt as his hand squeezed her thigh again then greedily slid up to the curve of her ass and Iris bit back a moan when he slid his hand over her lace undergarment and squeezed again before sliding back down to her thigh.

“Do you – do you want me to take off the robe?” she whispered and his gaze turned molten.

His mind had already conjured image upon image of how quickly he’d rip any layer between them. How he’d feast on her and gods, would he fuck her. Too easily could he picture how she’d look coming all over his cock. How’d she feel over him and under him and touching him. He could almost taste her. And every time he thought about it, it was everything they both wanted and more.

But he also knew what trying to have sex right now would be like for him. It would be rough and hard and ruin anything they had built between them because he knew he’d lose control. He was still too tense and for years, sex had always been something empty for him. Something that made him feel meaningless – a moment of fleeting pleasure and nothing more. He didn’t want that with Iris. His wife — his mate deserved better.

And if anyone else knew that Eris had hesitated at her question, they’d consider him ill. He had half a mind to get his head checked anyway but knew deep in his tired bones that tonight wouldn’t grant either of them justice. This bond was delicate between them. It was sacred and he’d be damned if, at this significance of a moment between them, he ruined it by thinking with the wrong head. By accidentally hurting her in his haste. Especially after her earlier reaction.

He could be patient. His self-control was a practiced art.

So Eris shook his head and chuckled when Iris narrowed her eyes at him. “I can’t take what I want from you tonight, even if you’re willing.” he said.

“Who are you and what have you done with the male I married?” she joked and his lips twitched once more.

“He’s still very much here, plotting sinister and despicable things to do to you,” he replied and Iris bit back a smile that faded when his own expression sobered. His fingers continued to skim her bare skin beneath the robe. “I don’t have it in me to handle more tonight,” he muttered, feeling his face heat at his confession. “So you’re safe with me. This…this is enough.”

And because they were two sides of the same coin, Iris understood. She understood that his skin needed only the softest of touches the way hers did for a while, that he could only tolerate so much of it in one night.

Iris nodded and then bit her lip, assessing his expression as they glanced at each other. He had laid all his armor at her feet today but he had been giving her pieces of him from the moment she met him.

She would do the same. She wanted all of him the way he had always wanted all of her — piece by piece.

“You’re safe with me too, you know that, right?” she said and Eris’s brows furrowed. “I’m on your side. I’m here with you.”

Eris felt his insides crumble, his expression falling. What had he done to deserve such a statement?

“Don’t – don’t say things like that to me.” he whispered and Eris felt himself near a cardiac arrest when her expression softened and she pulled him even closer to her.

“Why not?” she whispered back, and slowly, as if giving him time to protest if he wished, she brought his body to rest half over hers.

And Eris watched her face as his body rested over hers, drinking in her expression and the trust he found there. The shy caution. Every inch touching and the frantic beating of her heart threatened to send his own heart into overdrive. He felt himself about to burn from the inside out. As though being touched and kissed by her lit a fuse inside him and he couldn’t take his eyes off her as Iris’s hands grazed the back of his neck. Gently. Tenderly.

Gods. Was this what he’d been waiting for his whole life? Were these feelings what had been missing?

“Iris.” he whispered her name, a plead. A prayer.

Iris gazed at him, her expression filled with an emotion he couldn’t place. An emotion he couldn't even handle to think about.

“What do you need to make tonight easier for you?” she said, repeating her question from earlier in the evening, her voice a whisper.

Eris blinked and then he barely could get enough air in his lungs. His mouth parted and the Prince of Autumn couldn't understand why the question knocked the wind out of him. After everything that had happened today, his needs were the last thing on his mind. It…it surprised him to be asked. For a second time, his wife, whom he’d only known for such a short amount of time, asked him what he needed.

No one ever asked Eris what he needed. He was…he hadn’t been in the right headspace when she asked him earlier but now…to be asked once more…he was touched by her question.

No one has asked him so bluntly before. No one focused on what he needed.

And what did he need?

Her.

Need was too light of a word when it came to her. It was a want — a depthless craving to have her everywhere. Her scent overwhelmed him, her body pressed into him with his arm draped over her just like this. The answer was simpler than he had anticipated. Simply…Iris.

Gentler than Eris had ever thought to touch someone before, he brought a hand to her cheek.

It was dangerous to admit his needs, especially to the person who now held his world in the palm of her hand. And yet, he couldn’t stop the words as they slipped out, “Just you. Right here.”

The corner of Iris’s mouth curled up, flushing at the words. She shifted slightly so their legs were now tangled as he settled comfortably over her and she held him.

“I think that’s doable.”

Eris’s chuckle slid against her skin as gooseflesh erupted on her skin and she held her breath when he leaned in closer, his nose brushing hers.

“We can decide what to do with this mating bond between us and discuss it to death tomorrow and on,” he began and Iris shifted as his voice dropped. “But come what may, Iris, as of tonight, I am yours. And you are mine. Do you understand?”

The world around them seemed to halt at the words and Iris could feel the shift in the air at his claiming. She felt herself flush deeper and the bond between them went taut as her husband stared at her and she at him, watching, feeling his chest rise and fall.

There would be no going back to dancing around their feelings after tonight.

“I am yours. And you…are mine.” she repeated, her grip tightening around him and Eris nipped at the corner of her mouth as he whispered,

“Mine.”

And they sank into each other with slow kisses, the touch of their hands reverent. Every thought, every moment outside of their lips touching slipped away and husband and wife were left with only each other. The weight of tomorrow and everything after pushed away for this one night.

A night where the only thing tethering the Prince of Autumn to this world, was her.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #acotar fanfiction #smtb chapters #gfics #can you BELIEVE I've sat on this for over a year lmao #we're back in action folks :)#thank you for reading ily <3

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