#we're all monsters let's be real
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me conceptualising my shadamytober 21 piece : nooo I'm not gonna refer to these sins as such bc I wanna validate amy + it's part of the human experience
also me, 3k+ words later : fuck it. she's allowed to be considered sinful and I will use that language bc I feel like she has a right to be and to see herself as filthy. it's what the whole thing is abt anyway. the validity is in the awareness
#bee blabs#we're all monsters let's be real#it's just how we choose to handle that beast that defines who we are#and for amy she decided to internalise it until it ruined her :(#but I SWEAR it's gonna be okay#my boy shadow is gonna see thru the veil bc he's pretty onto it#he's gonna fix things#but can and will be a dork abt it
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You know if your church has an attitude that child education is a waste of time because God and revolutions is coming anytime and the world's just gonna end so the children don't need to waste time to know math and that you need to train them up right they just need to study the Bible and love God your church is lit just a dooms day cult and not even trying to hide it
#just thinking about bullshit i went through as a kid again at that evil place#Christianity is a pox on humanity#like yes let's just not put any effort into making our children's lives better because the worlds gonna end we don't need to do anything to#make the world better or anything#that and oh we cant send our kids to public school the government will deprogram them from our indocrination and indoctrinate them with evil#worldy thoughts like it's okay to be different and it's not okay to be mean to people who are different! and because someone might catch on#that we're abusing our children and you knoooow the government just wants to take Christian children away from their families#and tear up Christian families so we can't let Bobby go to school where tattletale atheists might stir up trouble to pursecute me the#Christian parent who thinks it's okay to hit their kids#I'm not kidding i spent so much of my childhood afraid that I was going to get taken away because the government hates Christian families#like for real people mention CPS I get scared even though I'm a grown ass adult because that's how everyone in the homeschool community#talks and that's what they tell their kids they want their kids afraid that any second on the radio they're going to hear Christianity's#ilegal and we're all going to get shot I don't understand why you would teach a child that unless you were a cruel monster#I'm sorry but I would never teach my children to be afraid constantly yeah I'll tell my kids hey don't talk to strangers don't go#take candy from randos don't run off in the store don't stick forks in the microwave you know stuff like#teach my kids to keep their areas clean and have a direct path in case of a fire stuff like that#but I wouldn't have them terrified and my God Id want my kids to have the best education they can get my kids are smarter than me I am happy#comes down to it that I literally don't have any other skills or knowledge other than trad wife skills and i just wow#definitely need to educate your kids
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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[APHRODISIAC CHOCOLATES! PT.2]
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: they say you should learn something new every day. in oscar's case, it's a double-edged sword. today, he learns he is also really thankful for not reading the fine prints. or in which oscar's secret santa gift hits the both of you for the second time. 𝐏𝐓. 𝟏 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minors dni), unprotected sex (protect yourselves!) shower sex, blowjob, asking to go raw, p in v, teasing, oral sex, mutual orgasms, cumming outside, still an (over)consumption of aphrodisiacs
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: oscar piastri x gf!fem!reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2k+
𝐀/𝐍: as usual, proofread-ish. for the people who wanted a part 2 and for the person who said they wouldn't be disappointed bc i was nervous about making one (🥹 ily, you're a real one)... hope you like it! ♡︎
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
"I think we're going to have to thank Daniel," you joked, finally regaining your words.
"Later," Oscar sucked in a sharp breath. "Like three hours later."
You furrowed your brows, looking up at Oscar, only for him to be looking down. Following his gaze, your eyes honed in on the object capturing both of your attention.
"Oh..." you pursed your lips.
God, were these chocolates living up to their name.
Oscar tucked your hair behind your ears, fingers dancing across your skin. "What did you dream about?"
You blinked blankly before mending your brows as the sudden question. "I–what? What do you mean?" You asked, peering up at him with confusion.
"Your dream earlier on. I didn't get to ask. What was it about?"
All of a sudden your throat felt like a desert; so so dry. There was something almost unsettling about the cheeky glint in those brown eyes watching you. You let out a small sigh, suppressing your eye roll. "Well, first, we were in the shower–"
"In the shower?" Oscar repeated with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.
Your hand stretched out to hit him lightly. "Yes, you idiot. The shower," you sighed yet again before continuing, "well, it was initially sweet. We were doing the usual, shampoo, soap, water fights, and what not. And then you, acting like some sort of horny monster, decided it would be fun to eat me out against the wall."
"And then?" Oscar queried quietly, hand gently gliding down the curve of your body.
You cleared your throat, trying to keep on track. "Um, then I returned the favour," you shrugged timidly, feeling goosebumps litter your skin, trailing after his touch.
Oscar grinned. "Returned the favour?" He repeated, losing himself to his own thoughts as he spoke. "You sucked my cock? How?"
You almost choked on your spit. "W-What? What do you mean 'how?'"
"How did you do it? Did you start from the tip like you usually do? Or did you start from the bottom, grazing your teeth all the way up?"
You sucked in a sharp breath. "I... I started from the tip. I know how you like it. Special attention to the slit and to the bottom. All down my throat. Till you could see the small little bulge in my throat. And then I swallowed every single drop."
Oscar swallowed his saliva. You met those puppy eyes, yet again surprised at the desperation swirling around, drowning him.
He watched you tilt your head almost innocently. "Why?" Swollen lips jutted out, face still flushed and riddled with sweat from the previous round. "Want it to come true?"
A groan fell from Oscar's lips, eyes shutting for a second. "God, yes."
Wordlessly, you observed him quickly remove himself from your grasp, moving his hands under your body, lifting you up into the air. You let out a squeal, waves of cold air hitting your warm body. "Osc!"
"I'm trying to hurry!" You heard him yell as you watched the carpet of your bedroom suddenly turn into the tiles of your bathroom. You felt Oscar place you gently down onto the shower floor, pulling the handle.
You let out a yelp at the intrusion of cold water across your skin. "Oscar, that's fucking freezing!" Ready to take a leap out of the bathroom.
You peeked an eye open at the boy who was simply smiling at you as the water pelted down on your bodies. "I guess I'll just have to warm you up in the first place."
Before you knew it, Oscar's lips were back on yours as though they had never disappeared. Your hands fell to his neck, while his wet hands encircled your waist, bringing you as close as he could. He kissed you with an indescribable sense of urgency, nipping away at your lips.
You gasped at the sheer force of the kiss, allowing him to take advantage of the open access, darting his tongue into your mouth. Your muffled moans filled his ears and long gone were the worries of the cold. Only warmth burned through the both of you.
The sloppy meeting of your lips, the occasional clang of your teeth, or the pure suction of need set you alight. Oscar groaned, a shiver running through his spine at the feel of your hand roaming his hair.
To be honest, it was difficult to see with the now slightly warm water coming down. But even then, Oscar could see it clear as day. The way your eyes sparkled looking up at him and the way your lips glided down his bare neck, trailing his chest before resting at his v-line, knees pressed on the floor... fuck, he was dreaming.
Out of your peripheral, you could see Oscar's muscles tense as you gathered the saliva in your mouth, spitting the lube down onto his cock. The low exhale from his lips made you smile momentarily.
"I'm gonna make you feel so so good, okay?"
Before he could even respond, your hot breath washed over his cock, making him twitch. Oscar's head fell back on the shower wall, feeling your hot tongue lick the tip of his dick, paying special attention to his slit. "Oh shit," he moaned, entirely lost.
His arms travelled to your wet hair, wrapping the strands tightly around the surface of his hands, guiding your head with the little control he could muster. Oscar's teeth sunk into his lip upon the twirl of your tongue and the light graze of your own teeth against his tip. "F-Fuck," he croaked, "you're so good, baby."
You hummed in response, savouring the salty taste of his precum before opening your throat a little more to take his cock fully. You feel him poorly guide his cock into the tighter tunnel, the action bombarded with a string of moans from his mouth.
Your thighs clenched at the sounds, all your arousal mixed with the falling warm droplets. You could tell he was close by the way his hips began to move as though he was in a chase. You could only help further by sucking him even harder.
Oscar blinked away the water, eyes falling down to your throat, knees almost buckling at the sight of the same little bulge in your throat. Furthermore, the sinking of your nails in his thighs.... fuck... it was another sort of cruelty waiting to be released. Closing his eyes, he cursed with a senseless yet ravenous moan, feeling the coil in his stomach began to unravel.
Suddenly Oscar's eyes shot open. His hips stopped moving. You peered up with raised brows, wondering why on earth he was edging himself as he pulled you up to meet you face-to-face.
"That is not how the dream went," you lightly chided, hitting his chest lightly.
Oscar braved a small smile, chest heaving with a crazed adrenaline as he caught your arm. His free hand brushed your wet face. "I love your dream, I really do," he said with an emphasised look down below. "But I need to be in you again."
You crumbled at the last word. The crack of his voice was laced with whatever plant or fruit you had both over consumed. He was so so needy. The pleading eyes, his aching cock begging for a release, his hands eagerly travelling across your body.
"What about the condom?" Your whisper was just heard over the water.
Oscar sucked in a sharp breath, mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. "I... can we go raw?"
You pursed your lips. Raw... you had thought of the idea more times than you'd like to admit. Obviously, a baby with Oscar wasn't something you were considering at the moment. You had discussed this, hence the condoms. And sure there was birth control, but the list of side effects was never-ending. Plus, you were never good with remembering pills anyways.
You weren't quite sure whether it was the aphrodisiacs or you, probably a mix of both. But you couldn't quite seem to get the idea of really feeling his cock for the first time out of your head.
This whole thing was already reckless and crazy as it was. What was a little more?
"Obviously, if you don't want to–" Oscar started, fumbling over his words urgently.
"Yes."
"–it's up to you because I respect your choice–"
"Osc, yes."
"Hmm?" Oscar blinked, finally registering what you were saying. His brown eyes widened before a smile washed onto his face. "Yeah? I mean I didn't really imagine it happening in the shower but... I was thinking something a bit more romantic."
You chuckled softly. "Well, I never thought we'd be drugged up on chocolates from your friend and yet, here we are..."
Oscar grinned, swiftly bringing his lips to yours. Your hands flung to his face, bringing him closer to you as his hands travelled down the sides of your body, every curve and crevice committed to memory.
His grin deepened further at the sound of your breath hitching. His fingers inched closer to your hips, aligning your body to him. He let out a slow exhale, cock painfully waiting to feel you.
Briefly, Oscar's eyes flickered back to your face. Thumb nudging you to look at him. "If anything feels wrong and I mean anything–"
"I'll tell you. Promise," you smiled softly, giving him a long kiss.
Oscar smiled in return, holding your gaze with the intention to capture this moment entirely as he slowly rubbed the tip of his cock against your engorged pussy. He could hear your soft whimpers through the droplets of water. A rippling tremble rumbled through his body while he pushed his cock into you, letting your wet arousal soak him entirely.
Oscar had never been so happy to capture your reaction. The inevitable parting of your lips, the silent gasp, the crease between your brows, the tightening of your walls against his cock... fuck, it drove him crazy.
"You okay, baby?" He asked with a shallow breath. The nod of your head green-lit him to fully bury his cock into your pussy, allowing you to feel every full inch of him, raw.
A small burn travelled through you. Oscar was stretching you out like never before. You felt so full. Fuck.
"Osc, please move.'
The plead from your swollen lips was so desperate. Like you were about to fall apart.
"Oh my God," Oscar groaned against your wet skin, fingers tightening around your hips as your words replayed in his head. His hips began to snap into you, rutting his aching cock into your warm walls. Fuck, you were gripping his cock so tight... he could've sworn he'd cry if he wasn't so fixated on the way you felt.
His hooded brown eyes couldn't help but watch his cock come in and out of your throbbing pussy, shit, you were creaming all around him. He could feel the coldness of the shower wall touch his back as he brought you even closer, drilling his cock further into you. His lips moved towards your nipple, tongue twirling around in circles as your pants filled the moist air.
"Oh fuck!" you cried, hands reaching out to grab his shoulders–anything.
You could've sworn the sounds of your skin slapping against his was echoing throughout your house. Even over the water, it rebounded of the walls, melding in with your lewd moans and the obscene squelch of your pussy craving more and more of Oscar's cock. You had never felt anything quite it.
You could feel Oscar's hand move from your hips, inching down your v-line to meet your clit. A shudder ripped through your body as he thumbed the sensitive nerves in slow circles.
"Come on, baby," Oscar encouraged, lips sloppily meeting yours. His moans were getting beyond desperate, hips beginning to pick up their pace. "Show me how good you feel, hmm? Cum for me."
Your mouth fell open as a crash of white began to take over your eyes. The water began to blur with the waves of your orgasm hitting you one after another. Your body was shaking in his hands, your own hips bucking to ride out the high for as long as you could.
Your pussy was so fucking tight, gripping him like a vice. Oscar let out a throat groan as he fought to open his eyes. He rushed to take his cock out of your folds, as much as it pained him. "Fuck, f-fuck, open your mouth, baby," he urged, own hand sliding up and down his cock.
Oscar moaned at the sight of you on your knees, pretty lips and tongue all open for him. His hips stuttered against his hand as ropes of his hot cum spilled onto your tongue. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! Yes, fuck, take it, baby. Take my cum!"
A sigh flew out of his mouth as he slowed down and the waves of his climax came to an end. Oscar softly groaned at the sight of you, bending down to kiss you. The salty taste of his cum mixed with your arousal... fuck, he loved it.
Gently, he brought you up to meet his eyes once again. Your chests both heaved in an attempt to regain your breath.
You were thankful Oscar was holding you against him: you're legs felt like jelly.
"Can you walk tomorrow?" Oscar teased, pushing your wet hair behind your ears.
You rolled your eyes, hitting his chest lightly. "You're an asshole."
Oscar chuckled softly, pressing a small kiss to the side of your head. He sighed once again, hands rubbing your back soothingly as the silence was filled with the running water. "I love you," he whispered against your skin, "Thank you for trusting me with this."
You smiled, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I loved every second of it, baby. And for the record, it was very romantic."
"And hot?" Oscar raised a brow, a small grin playing on his face.
You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes again. "Are you going to thank Daniel?"
Oscar pursed his lips at your words. "Absolutely not."
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
#mickyschumacher#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smut#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri x reader#op81
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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✱˚。⋆ ↪ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍'𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄 . ( a collection of fantasy - based dialogue prompts . adjust phrasing as necessary . )
strangers don't last very long around here .
lay down your sword , and i'll lay down mine .
whatever you do , do not stray from the path .
try not to get yourself killed .
the magic here is old and wild .
quiet ... do not wake it .
i thought i'd find you here . get up .
the tavern in [ location ] is known for its ale and its rumors .
you are starting the path towards your destiny .
is there no end to this accursed forest ?
my sword is yours .
the path to redemption is paved with trials and tribulations .
this forest feels ... sick . as if a disease lies upon it .
you are nothing but damned bones , and a damned soul .
have you ever seen the world beyond [ location ] ?
in the face of overwhelming odds , we must stand united .
please don't let them know that i'm here .
i've heard tales of your exploits . impressive , if they're true .
there's a town three miles east from here .
we have such history , you and i .
go carefully ... there's a camp nearby .
you will not die here , i forbid it .
your reputation precedes you .
i would rather die on my feet than on my knees .
there is no destiny . no born heroes .
you've got a fire in your eyes . use it , but don't let it consume you .
the spirits of this forest are restless .
there's more that you aren't telling me .
you have something that belongs to me .
you shouldn't be here , it's not safe in these parts .
all we can trust are the blades in our hands .
do you believe in fate ? destiny , prophecies ...
i don't think i'll ever get used to having blood on my hands .
wait ! there's traps here . lots of them .
i would die before helping in such a task .
there's an inn just another mile north .
have your blade at the ready .
if you can't already tell , i don't require saving .
have you drank your fill already ?
this isn't just some lark to me .
i'm headed to [ location ] . i could use some company .
your bravery is admirable , but it will also be your undoing .
you're exhausted , [ name ] . we're stopping here .
i will hunt you until the day i die .
i wish you a safe journey home .
as long as i can be of no help , i'm going to hide .
raise your sword . this should be a fair fight .
you're brave to show your face here again .
in this world , you can trust two things ; your intuition and your sword .
i've seen the way you look at the horizon . you're searching for something .
[ administers a healing potion / spell ] is that any better ?
you have no idea of the catastrophe you've set in motion .
there's an ambush ahead , stay quiet .
i want to know your story ... beginning to end .
in the end , we're all just stories waiting to be told .
i've heard tales of a dragon living high up in the mountains . some say it's just a myth , others swear it's real .
the line between friend and foe is often blurred .
try to stay quiet . is the wound deep ?
do not provoke them .
monster ? who's the monster here ?
i forbid you from telling anyone what you've seen here .
are you scared of witches ?
that's a beautiful [ weapon ] . may i ?
you are a valuable ally and a fearsome adversary .
do not tell me you've grown soft over the years .
if our enemy has returned , we must know .
you're a tough one to read , but i can see the kindness in your eyes .
the key to survival is knowing when to fight and when to flee .
i never expected to run into you in [ location ] .
last we spoke , you owed me some coin .
do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .
there is no magic or medicine that can cure this .
you keep questionable company .
every choice has a consequence .
the fate of the world lies in your hands .
so you're the great [ name ] .
remorse will get you nowhere .
you must stay on the path . do not leave it . if you do , you'll never find it again .
i once dreamed of this place . it's real ?
some secrets are best left buried .
the bridge is heavily guarded . we need a plan .
i thought you were returning home .
i would not do this unless i had to .
i need my horse .
it's real . all of the stories , the legends ... and it's real .
don't lose your wit . i believe you'll have need for it yet .
#rp meme#inbox prompts#inbox memes#fantasy rp meme#ohisms#here's this for the babes in my inbox asking for more fantasy memes 💞✨
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What are some things other psychotics do to differentiate between hallucination and reality? And what are ways some of you hold off symptoms? Looking to get a nice thread for people to help each other going here, this stuff isn't posted about enough.
Ways we prevent symptoms/stop them from progressing:
Make background noise to prevent auditory hallucinations. Most of ours start by hearing something that we can't identify the cause of in the background, and our brain starts the spiral from there. So we listen to music all the time and sleep with a fan on every single night, even in the winter. We just point it away from us if we don't want it making us cold.
Blame the cat (or other pets). Any weird movement, scratching, crunching or thumping? That's just Jerry, don't worry about it. He's a silly cat that does cat things even while we're sleeping. Any noise can be blamed on pets or the wind, which stops the paranoia from setting in and making everything bad.
We also tell ourselves that if there was an actual issue like an intruder or monster, the cat would hiss or scream, and the dog would be barking or making noise. This can be applied to many pets.
Stay busy. Focus on something--art, video games, tv shows and films, craft, gardening, anything that keeps you thinking. Don't let the anxiety get to you, just stay focused on your regular life.
Laugh at it. You're hallucinating a monster in your peripheral vision? Name it Fred and tell him to pay rent. You hear weird noises? Tell them to come back with a warrant. For us, treating symptoms like they're jokes or not serious makes us less anxious and therefore makes it easier to get back to a point where we're okay.
Having a friend or a pet near you can help. We feel safer and less alone when we see another living thing near us that's safe. We don't feel as much like we're trapped in another dimension that way.
How we differentiate between reality and unreality:
Touch it. This one only works for things you're not scared of, and if you don't have tactile hallucinations. It's not foolproof! But when we're seeing things like bugs and stuff, reaching out to touch them causes them to fade away so we know they're fake.
Ask friends and other trusted people if they "heard that" or "saw anything". If they're psychosis friendly, feel free to explain and be specific. If not, be vague and keep it to simple things like "hey did you hear anything? I couldn't tell what it was", if that will be safe enough. Having people to ground you can be great.
Look at how others around you are acting. Are they running or interacting with the thing in question in any way? Do they seem to look at it or no? If no one is noticing, it's less likely to be real.
These won't work for everyone and some of these might be harmful to others, but they're helpful to us. You know best what will help you!
Please feel free to add your own! We need more discussion around psychosis that isn't "scary evil person disorder and how to deal with people who have it".
#neurodivergent#actually disabled#disability#disabled#neurodiversity#actually psychotic#actually schizospec#schizoaffective#psychotic#psychosis#schizospec#madpunk#neuropunk#mad pride#endo safe#pro endo#op#martin (he/it)
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Hello! Can I req ln4 x reader where they are secretly married, but the entire world just know they're bestfriend. One day an interviewer ask if they are a thing and they say they're married but sarcastically (like Chris Evans and Elizabeth Olsen on Ellen show) and in the end they decided to just reveal it. Thank you!!
🗣️avaspeaks: i love this request so much!!! and i thoroughly enjoyed writing this one, and i hope i did it justice!
we decided to break the internet (ln4)
'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡
introduction - lando and y/n were practically inseparable since childhood. building sandcastle empires on the beach, trading pokémon cards at recess, navigating the awkwardness of middle school together - they'd seen it all. what neither quite admitted, not even to themselves, was the secret crush simmering beneath the surface of their friendship. every time lando tried to impress a girl with his skateboard tricks, y/n would "accidentally" trip him mid-grind. and whenever y/n had a date, lando would "forget" to return her favorite dress, the one that made her feel invincible. their sabotage was childish, sure, but it stemmed from a fear of losing the other entirely. one summer night, sprawled on the hood of lando's beat-up car, gazing at a sky exploding with stars, something shifted. maybe it was the whispered secrets shared, or the way their laughter mingled with the chirping crickets. in that moment, childhood friendship flickered, ignited by a spark of something deeper, a love waiting to prosper.
the air crackled with anticipation as lando norris and a stunning y/n settled into the interview chairs. formula one fans adored their playful dynamic, convinced they were just best friends. little did anyone know, they'd been secretly married for over a year and a half.
"so," the interviewer began, a sly smile on his face, "the fans are curious. is there anything going on between you two, romantically?"
lando shot y/n a mock glare. "absolutely! infact we're married!!!," he deadpanned, throwing his head back in exaggerated shock.
the room froze. cameras flashed. y/n, stifling a laugh, gasped dramatically. "married and absolutely smitten with eachother! lando, haven't you told them about movie night and all the crying over sappy rom-coms?"
the audience erupted in gasps and whispers. even the other drivers, strategically placed in the back row, looked bewildered. carlos, oscar,max,charles,daniel,alex and george laughed silently into their hands.
lando, playing along, clutched his chest. "oh no, you can't tell them about that! what will the neighbors think of all the late-night screaming about popcorn refills?"
y/n doubled over, tears welling up (from laughter, not the fake movie marathons). "and the screaming matches over who gets the last slice of pizza? lando, you monster!"
the room buzzed with confusion. were they…? weren't they…?
the interviewer, clearly flustered, stammered, "wait, so… you're saying you have movie nights and… screaming matches?"
lando winked at the camera. "the usual newlywed stuff, you know?"
y/n, wiping a fake tear, added, "don't even get me started on the scooter races in the paddock."
the room descended into chaos. reporters scribbled furiously, phones buzzed, and drivers peeked over their chairs, jaws slack.
lando, barely able to hold back a real laugh, reached for y/n's hand. "alright, alright," he conceded, "we might be exaggerating a tad. movie nights are definitely a thing, though. y/n's a terror with the remote."
y/n swatted him playfully. "hey! at least i let you pick the action movies sometimes."
suddenly, y/n did something unexpected. with a flourish, she turned her hand, revealing a simple gold band with a sparkling diamond. the room fell silent.
"oh by the way we've actually married for about two years now," y/n raised an eyebrow at lando, a wide, mischievous grin spreading across her face. "forgot to mention that detail, did you?"
lando, speechless for once, could only stare at the ring, then back at the stunned faces around him. the dam broke. laughter, loud and genuine, erupted from them both. the tension in the room evaporated, replaced by a mixture of shock, amusement, and a touch of awe.
as the interview wrapped up, the secret was out. lando and y/n, f1's favorite "best friends," were husband and wife. the post-interview scrum was a whirlwind. questions flew, cameras flashed in their faces, and congratulations poured in. through it all, lando and y/n stuck together, their laughter echoing through the room, a testament to their love and their ability to surprise everyone, even the f1 world.
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
well i hope you liked it! thank you for sending in your request and do send more! thanks for reading!
leave a like, leave a comment!
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
#lando norris#lando norris x female reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x oc#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#ln4 x female reader#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x oc#charles lecrelc#carlos sainz#carlando#landoscar#max verstappen#oscar piastri#george russell#alex albon#formula 1#f1 imagine#formula one#y/n#mclaren
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hold on together
for @stervrucht, inspired by this beautiful art piece | rated T | wc: 625 | tags: dealing with post UD trauma, nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort | also on ao3
"We're alive."
The words hit Eddie like a punch to the gut. He feels like someone’s dropped him into ice cold water, startled awake by the impact. Slowly, the world around him comes into focus.
"We're alive and we're safe and whatever you saw in your dream isn't real, okay?"
Strong arms wrap around him, giving Eddie something to hold on to, keeping his trembling body steady.
"You're okay, Eddie. We are okay."
A sob forces its way out of his throat but doesn't have the chance to get very far. Not with Eddie's face pressed against Steve's shoulder - held tight against warm skin. Skin that is damaged, covered in scars that will always remind them that the horrors are real.
Were real.
"It's over. They can't hurt us anymore. You're safe, I promise."
Steve's voice is a soothing vibration against the shell of his ear, the hand at the back of his head encouraging him to bury his face where he always feels safest, hiding in the space between Steve's shoulder and neck.
"I'm here, Eddie."
He always is. Always is there to get Eddie through the nights when the monsters seem too real and he can't escape, can't run from his own mind when it's playing those images over and over again. When he can feel the teeth sinking into his flesh and smell the blood. When he feels so cold, so alone, so scared. When he wakes up screaming and drenched in sweat, unable to breathe.
Steve holds him through all of it, never complains about losing sleep, never makes fun of Eddie for crying.
"I'm sorry, Steve," he says weakly, the words offering no real solace for how fucked up he feels. "I'm so, so sorry for being such a mess."
"Shh, don't worry. I got you, Eddie."
Steve always does. Is the only one who gets to see Eddie like this. The only one who can catch Eddie when he's falling.
"It's all gonna be okay. Do you hear me? I love you, baby."
Loves him despite how broken Eddie is. Loves him with all his flaws, loves him with all the burdens of a tattered mind, the trauma, and barely healed wounds. Loves him and keeps him close. Lets him fall apart in his arms before he helps him pick up the pieces time and again.
"I don't deserve you," Eddie snivels before he dares to look up, teary eyes searching for Steve's hazel ones, "You shouldn't have to put up with me."
Steve takes him in for a few seconds, eyes flitting between Eddie's, seemingly searching for the right words to say. And then his lips curl into a lopsided smile.
"You're not getting rid of me that easy. Sorry to break it to you but you're stuck with me forever. We're trauma bonded for life, baby."
Eddie laughs, all wet and choked up - he must look disgusting with his puffy eyes and red, blotchy face but Steve kisses him anyway. Kisses him, and holds him, and it's like a dream. A beautiful dream that slowly replaces every last memory of the nightmare he had.
"Feeling better?" Steve asks when their lips part and Eddie nods, wordlessly follows Steve back underneath the covers where he crawls into waiting arms, quickly drifting, falling back asleep.
Maybe tomorrow, he will be the one offering comfort. Right now, though, Eddie can rest safely in his boyfriend's arms.
Hopefully one day, the recurring nightmares will finally end for both of them. Until then, no matter how hard it gets, they have each other as their anchor. Protected by love as their armour. Two hearts beating for one another, their rhythmic melody a reminder that they made it.
They are alive.
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I think a really funny part of Jayroy we don't really talk about is the Dick Grayson of it all. I don't mean as in "How does Dick react to it", I mean as in "we're both really close to Dick but have completely different ideas of who he is".
Roy is Dick's friend. He's been Dick's friend for so long it's ridiculous. They've grown up together, they've seen each other at their worst, at their most awkward phases. They've supported and teased each other through relationships, family drama, tough times and near death experiences. Roy may not be the single closest most knowledgeable person on the subject of Dick Grayson...but he comes pretty close to it.
Not only that but there's no worship involved. Roy knows how amazing Dick is, of course, but even when he's feeling self deprecating he still considers himself his peer. Dick treats him as his equal and he's also acted as a leader for the Titans. He's in a position to understand intimately just how absolutely mundane Dick is for all his greatness. Roy didn't have front row seats to the creation of the legend Nightwing is today, he was behind the curtains staring at the real human behind it and helping him with the props.
Jason on the other hand... Let's start by saying he's not as starstruck as Tim or even Damian. That being said, he's also obsessed with his older brother. It's a very complicated mess of feelings that stems from pure adoration but is also tainted with jealousy and disappointment. Dick is the Golden Child, perfect in every way that matters and yet unable to help him. Sometimes Jason's Hero Worship and desire for a cool older brother take over, sometimes he resents him for setting such an impossible standard. Dick cares for him and yet he makes him feel lesser than just by existing. He's so morally perfect and effortless in his goodness, and Jason is just a monster next to him.
So I just think it would be hilarious for Jason to just, monologue about his complex feelings on Dick and how he doesn't know how to feel about it, all the while Roy's like "Who!?!?? Dick?!?! The guy that threatened to kill himself after one (1) awful date with Supergirl???? That guy?!?!?"
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if you're still taking requests for the event could i request floyd with "Maybe we should just kiss to break the tension" ? ty !
hehe ofc ofc!
summary: "maybe we should just kiss to break the tension" type of post: fic characters: floyd additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, pre book 3, kissing, yuu is very much canon yuu here lol a part of this event
Riddle's noble efforts to warn you about Floyd Leech had fallen on deaf ears.
"And stay out of trouble!" were his exact words, if you remembered correctly.
You'd almost scoffed.
You had already been at NRC for months; you'd fought monsters, solved mysteries, and come out of all of it in one piece.
You could handle a history of magic project.
Sure, this is your first mixed-year assignment; and yes, the project itself makes up a great portion of your semester grade...
...but if anyone had asked you, you'd say that a measly school presentation is nothing compared to what you've already been through.
"Remember not to play along with his antics; it only encourages him,"
Riddle had wasted no time lecturing you about your mysterious project partner the second his name left your lips.
You'd come to him to ask if he knew the guy, not his entire life story.
"Stay focused... and stay out of trouble!"
Trouble. Ha. Every second at NRC since you'd arrived had been trouble.
You walk into the library; like usual, it's mostly empty.
Floyd Leech, Floyd Leech... now, where would...?
"Hey, you!"
You turn on your heels to face the source of the shout; leaning against a bookshelf behind you is the tallest boy you've ever seen.
He even gives off the vague impression of towering over you, making you feel small regardless...
"Man, I almost didn't see 'ya, you're so tiny," he grins, baring a row of sharp teeth. "I'm gonna call you Shrimpy. Now, come onnn, I've been waiting forever!"
You're early. Before you can say as much, he grabs you by the forearm and drags you off to a table.
"Alright, Shrimpy," he says, taking a seat across from you. "What's on the docket for today?"
"Uhh..." you're still slightly dazed. He's got some energy, that's for sure.
Riddle's words flash through your mind.
"...Well, I was thinking we could find our material first, then outline..."
"Reading?" Floyd asks, slumping in his seat as if he'd just received terrible news.
You blink. "...Well, we're going to have to read a little,"
He groans, loudly. A few people in the library turn to stare before awkwardly shuffling away.
"...Nah, I'm not in the mood. Let me do 'somethin else,"
What had Riddle said yesterday? "He changes his mind at the drop of a hat. Arguing is no good,"
"...Okay," you say, tentatively reading his expression. "I'll start with the outline. Do you want to look for pictures instead?"
He's quiet, as if seriously considering the pros and cons of the offer, and then he shrugs.
You sigh. Riddle was just being overdramatic. This is fine!
Floyd becomes lost in his assigned job, leafing through an atlas in search of a map from the time period you're researching, leaving you to your reading.
It'd be an easier job with two people, but...
"You're real quiet, Shrimpy,"
You look up from your encyclopedia. He'd shoved the atlas aside, his eyes fixed on you instead.
You raise an eyebrow. "I'm reading...?"
"Aw. Don't tell me you're the serious type?" a loud, dramatic sigh follows. "I was hoping we could have some fun. I was really looking forward to meeting you and all..."
You have to remind yourself that you have a reputation here. Great...
"Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm a pretty boring person. Normal,"
Floyd's brow furrows. "Nah, I don't buy that. You wanna know what I think?"
You don't like this. The way he's looking at you, like he sees something you don't...
"...I think you only act normal 'cause you're afraid of being judged. You try way too hard to be a good student and stuff 'cause you wanna fit in here,"
Ouch. You blink, momentarily stunned to silence. He could tell all that just from watching you read?
"I'm just 'sayin," he gives you another sharp smile. "I wouldn't mind if you stopped acting all serious around me. You're way too tense."
"...Tense? I am not tense,"
Your denial only encourages him. A wide grin creeps across his face.
"Yeah, you know. You could feel the stress in this place from a mile away...
...Maybe we should just kiss to break the tension,"
Riddle had drilled you for hours; Floyd stealing your things, making you chase him, getting bored and leaving, a thousand possible situations that could come out of a simple study session...
...This was not one of them.
Floyd grins again, wider this time. "Ahah, never mind. You're way too boring and normal for something like that, right?"
You suddenly feel hot; he's putting you on the spot, and he knows it. He seems to be living for your agitation.
"Hey, that's not fair-"
"Fair schmair," he cuts in. "I gave you a dare, and you can't do it. Happens all the time to you, I bet. It's-"
Riddle had warned you, several times, quite clearly, not to play along.
But... in your defense...
Floyd giggles against your lips, the delighted little noise giving away a hint of surprise. His hands, cold and clammy but nice nonetheless, grab hold of your face, drawing you closer into the kiss. He's threatening to pull you across the table at this point...
...It's a good thing you chose a time when the library would be empty.
After a minute or two, he lets go, leaving you breathless with another smile.
"I knew you had it in 'ya," he says, reaching across the table to pull the encyclopedia back towards him.
"My turn to read, okay? I was getting bored of the pictures,"
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miss missing you was fucking adORABLE please i love domestic percy. our boy getting a break from all the monsters
LITERALLY. percy deserves a rest, a break, and that's exactly what you intend to give him. it doesn't matter if he crashes at your place or you crash at his or you go up to montauk or somewhere completely different. the point is, you're good. you're safe. the only problem now is making sure PERCY knows that. he's great, just like he always is. but you've still caught him doing peremiter sweeps and middle of the night centry duty. he jumps at every noise, every rustling leaf or cracking branch. and you understand why. of course you do. you know it's going to take a long time to help him relax, really relax, but it's always worth it to you. you and Sally and Percy and Paul will be wondering for years to come how you managed to work your magic so quickly, but by the end of the week, Percy feels... relaxed. possibly for the first time ever. he spends his mornings with you, making coffee and pancakes and pretending not to notice as you check out his back and waist. you wear his swim team hoodie because it always looks so much better on you, and he steals kisses every chance he gets. you manage to surprise him with blue coffee one day and he is so completly flabberghasted. he still has no clue how you did it. you doze on the couch or out on the porch in the afternoons, comfortable in each others arms. he can't sleep until you're comfortable snuggled up against him, and every night he can't help but let out a breathy chuckle, smiling in pure admiration of you. one night he lets out a loud groaning sigh as you settle in for the night. he doesn't think he can ever go back to a life that doesn't have you to wake up to, and he doesn't want to.
"when we get back to new york, we're moving in together."
that wakes you right up. you twist around so you can look at him, make sure he's being for real with you right now.
"seriously?" you ask, and he laughs at how cute you are. it's... adorable, frankly, that you're still realizing how deep and dogmatically his feelings for you run.
"yeah," he nods back. he sleeps better than he ever has that night. after some more kisses, of course.
#drabbles#percy jackson#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson drabbles#heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus x reader#heroes of olympus drabbles#fluff#yeah no percy needs a fucking break#which he will only accept if it includes you
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Hi there. I know you're a fan of wicked, and your scarecrow comics are amazing, but, how do you feel about the wizard's? I know the wizard was a conman, but he wasn't the monster portrayed in the musical or film, he was trying to help Oz, something like Oz the Great and Powerful, and the quote "He was a good man, just a terrible wizard". To me, it feels weird making him worse than he was in the source material, and how accepting everyone is of that. But what about you, you prefer him "wicked"?
Oh, this is such an interesting question, because like everything, it's not so black and white, is it?
I believe that The Wizard, whose real name is Oscar, never intended to be a bad man. He was just some simple podunk hick (his own admission) thrown into a position of power and quickly found himself way over his head. He was admired, practically worshipped, and an entire country turned to him to save them from what we can only imagine was some truly desperate times. There was a famine. People were starving and hurting and when you're starving and hurting you become angry, so what do you do when you have such a volatile population looking to you for guidance?
Oscar's approach was undoubtedly wrong, let's get that straight. Blaming the people's plight on the Animals was objectively the wrong thing to do, but I think the song Wonderful illustrates Oscar's thinking brilliantly.
There are few at ease with moral ambiguity-- people don't want nuance. Nuance is hard. Isn't life so much easier when everything is black and white? Bad People cause Bad Things to happen, so blame them. Oscar's a con man through and through--he has experience working in a traveling circus and his whole gig was putting on a show and making people happy. And I genuinely believe he wanted to make the people of Oz happy.
But life is hard and complicated and there are no easy answers. Oscar knows this. And if he can't make the people happy and magically solve all their problems, they'll turn on him and eat him alive. So . . . he does the only thing he can think of, the only thing he can do.
He lies.
He's a performer. He's a con man. He knows how to lie. And he's really, really good at it.
He had good intentions, but you know what they say about good intentions. He wanted to help but did it in the worst way possible--uniting the people with a common enemy. A very effective strategy--just look at what's going on in the political atmosphere today--and I really hope the movie leans into that nuance more. Can you really call yourself a good person if all you do is lie and manipulate people, even if your goals are in the service of "good" and "making people happy?"
Wicked is very clear on that--no. No you can't be. But of course, everyone's a hero in their own story, so Oscar is the hero who saved Oz in her time of need. Even in the original Wizard of Oz, I don't think Oscar was meant to be a genuinely good person, either. Of course Oscar thinks he's a good man--everyone thinks they're a good person because they'll always find a reason to justify their own actions. Oscar still lied to everyone--he lied to Dorothy and her friends, he lied to all of Oz. He doesn't even really give the quartet what they want--he lies about that, too. He gives them meaningless trinkets and sells them the belief that they're real.
And fun fact, the Scarecrow's incorrect reciting of Pythagoras's Theorem was intentionally written wrong to further drive home the point that the Wizard's gifts were bullshit.
In my opinion, Wicked is just leaning harder into the story of the everyman who was corrupted by power and did terrible things, despite his original intentions. It's a much more interesting take, and I really hope they don't make it so simple as him being outright evil. I don't think they will. Because Oscar can be seen as a very effective cautionary tale about how our actions, no matter their intentions, can lead to serious harm if we're not careful.
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Psychology Sentences, Vol. 1
(Sentences for interactions with therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists - or even just friends supporting each other. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"You've put it behind you, but it's not the same as putting it to rest."
"Is this it? Is this therapy?"
"It's fascinating, is it not? The language of non-verbal behaviour."
"Are you questioning your sanity?"
"The mind can play tricks on us. Memories can be suppressed, especially painful ones."
"I am planning on undertaking a course of therapy."
"I thought all psychiatrists were oddballs and cranks. They're not supposed to be so charming, let alone attractive."
"I knew that therapy was a bad idea."
"Do you remember when you first felt an emotional attachment?"
"I know you don't feel the way that other people want you to feel. I understand, but that's why you've got to pretend, at least sometimes."
"Not everything real is true, and not every dream is false."
"Guilt more than anything changes a person."
"So now you're a psychologist too?"
"Taking a life leaves its mark. No matter how strong you are, it's always a good idea to talk to somebody about it."
"Yeah, I don't need a psychiatrist, okay?"
"Without fear, we wouldn't know how to be brave. Fear is what makes us heroes."
"Please stop analysing me."
"It is too easy being a monster. Better to try to be human."
"Do you think we could find one single word that dominates your life?"
"We are all, in a sense, more than one man. Different and conflicting aspects of our character are constantly fighting for supremacy. "
"What if feeling nothing is the worst pain of all?"
"We're talking about therapy. Does that disturb you?"
"Don't feel like talking today?"
"Repressed emotions do not merely sink without a trace. They bubble up to the surface."
"The people we love the most are the ones capable of hurting us the most deeply."
"What do you dream about at night?"
"You know, I wish there was a cure for guilt and shame, but if there was then I would be out of a job."
"I have no idea who I am, and neither does anyone else. Not really."
"Your mother didn't love you, and now you crave anyone to make you feel less alone."
"I've been looking forward to having that psychological discussion about my personality."
#rp meme#rp memes#roleplay meme#roleplay memes#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#assorted;#psychology;
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Annoying edge case for lycanthropy: a dragon who is also a werewolf.
(A short story I wrote back in 2022 for twitter. I've slightly re-edited it, but it's still "twittery" in how it uses linebreaks (because there used to be post-boundaries there). Sorry! )
So on the full moon, they uncontrollably turn into… A much smaller and squishier humanoid. They can't wait to get their scales and fire breath and wingspan back. They're so vulnerable in their werewolf form!
No one at the werewolf support meetings is sympathetic.
They're all humans or nearly, so one of them is like "it's just so scary. I'm huge, and inhuman, and I feel like I'm made of weapons, with my claws. Everyone fears me, and I fear myself sometimes, never knowing what I might do, if I lose control and just let the rage out…" And the werewolf-dragon is like "and then you turn into a werewolf! It's so annoying, I agree"
Everyone else just turns to look at them, slowly
They do take some tips about werewolf safety. They just do it backwards, because instead of making sure they can't get out and cause death and destruction, it's more about making sure no one can get in and attack them in their merely nigh-invulnerable werewolf form. When you're a dragon, turning into a nearly unkillable rage monster of claws and fangs is a major downgrade. It's a real moment of weakness, and who knows if your ancient enemies or some upstart knight is going to try to take advantage of that moment of weakness?
They get infinitely more annoyed when they finally find a witch who can do the right ceremony and lift the curse of lycanthropy. "there… With the burning of this silver candle, you are finally free. You're human in all moonphases, now." "WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, HUMAN?!"
They got turned into the humanized version of their werewolf form. Permanently.
Always read the fine print before asking a witch to do a complicated magical ritual on you.
"also, question: how the hell did you burn a silver candle? Isn't the melting point of silver…" "one thousand eight hundred degrees, yes. It wasn't easy. Look. "
She pulls back a curtain and points. There's a complicated bellows system being vigorously pumped by a bunch of little black cats, each wearing a tiny witch's hat. They're sweating with exertion and the heat.
"we're done, my lovelies. You can stop now" The kitties hop down off the bellows and lie down at her feet, or wander off looking for food. The witch looks down at the former dragon, now barely 5 feet tall. "why do you think I asked for my fee in cat food?"
"but it was ALL cat food. Don't you need to-" The former dragon pauses mid-sentence, as the witch pulls off her traditional witchy headwear to reveal two pointy feline ears. "you were saying?"
"nevermind. Thanks, I guess." The dragon walks to the door, then turns around. "hey, I need to find out how to be a human, would you happen to know anything or anyone I can ask?" The witch looks up from sitting on the floor with a leg behind her head, licking the inside of her thigh "wouldn't have a clue, sorry love", she says with a smile.
The witch has to show up later and bail the former dragon out of jail. Apparently they accosted a city guard after being told "you can't just wander around the city naked". The dragon told them to contact the catwitch because it's not like they know any other humanoids.
The guard wasn't physically hurt, but getting jumped by a small naked human after merely pointing out you need to wear trousers or a dress or something in public is the kind of thing that leaves mental scars that'll take a while to fade.
Even if your tiny nude opponent was mainly trying to scratch or bite you with claws or fangs they no longer have
The former dragon ends up living with the catwitch. She could use some help with the bellows, and even if the dragon can no longer provide her own fire, they still know a lot about it.
And even if they're now a short little weakling who has to be reminded to wear clothes, they are a bit better at pumping the bellows than a pack of kittens.
Plus they can help with making potions and such in ways the cats can't, what with having thumbs.
They live together for a while, until the grumpy now-human finds out that another dragon has taken up residence in their former hoard.
And that will just not do!
So the dragon convinces the catwitch to come with them on an adventure to raid their own hoard and defeat (or at least evict) the dragon.
So they set out, the former dragon having to figure out the weaknesses in their own defenses and how to navigate a space built for dragons, not tiny humanoids. They're wearing the minimum in clothing they can get away with, and wielding a sword almost bigger than they are.
And following, the catwitch with a broom and a big sack of magical devices and reagents, and a little procession of kittens in their hats.
(the former dragon uses they/them pronouns. Their human body does have a sex, but when gender was explained to them they called it a "foolish human thing" and never bothered with it, just like their opinions on silverware and public indecency laws)
As far as anyone can tell, dragons have only one gender, and it's dragon.
Anyone who has asked further questions about dragon gender, sex, or reproduction has ended up crispy and good with ketchup.
They manage to evict the squatting dragon, and the witch is like "well, I guess you got nearly everything you want now. I'll take my cats back to the city…" And the ex-dragon is like "WAIT… I was thinking, maybe you could… Use my hoard as a new shop? There's plenty of room"
"are you asking me to stay?" "n-no… I mean, yes? Shut up. It's just because it would be a good place for you. After all, your shop has that leaky roof, and you were running out of storage space, and the mayor always wanted you kicked out…"
"oh I see, so it's just for me? How kind. You don't care either way, right?" "right! I don't care! I don't need or want you around! I don't care about silly human things" "human?" she asks with a smile, wiggling her ears on the top of her head. "shut up you know what I mean"
"so you don't want me to stay around you? You don't have a reason why you want to be near me, to be with me?" she says "with" with a certain slant on it, as she rests her arm on the shoulder of the former dragon, having to lean over her to reach. "n-n-n…"
The witch switches to cupping the former dragon's face in her palms. "and your face is so warm, little one. Are you trying to breathe fire? You're turning red, so maybe you are…"
"stop it! I… I just…" "yes?" the witch lets go, but her tail curls around the waist of the former dragon, like they are walking hand in hand down a beach.
"I like you, alright? I want you to stay. I want to be with you! Is that so wrong?"
"nope!" says the witch, happily pulling them into a kiss.
We zoom out, past a pile of gold coins and goblets and scepters, as little black kittens in adorable hats play in the hoard, ambushing each other in play-fights from the high ground of a treasure chest.
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au where gabriel uses the peacock instead of emilie, and she's the one left with two miraculous and a child
she inherits the gabriel brand. it's her brand now, ppl have to know it or it doesnt count, but changing name and logo isnt great for business-- people want to buy gabriel, not emilie, so the g is now for graham de vanily. she and adrien change their last names to match, and soon she is cleaning them from gabriel entirely, before his death can stain her as gabriel's emilie, rather than just emilie. she needs them to love her. she cared for gabriel, but she has no use for a husband who can't love anything anymore
she starts dating nathalie to finish cutting all ties with him. it isnt really fair on her, emilie just needs her to tell ppl she's moved on. but it's good to know she's beaten gabriel in one more bid for devotion
its funny. she never resented him much in life. in death, she notes he has more billboards than her up in the city. her billboards now, but theyre his. in death, she sees him over her shoulder in her mirror. she gets cast as a grieving widower in her next performance. she gets the hint. she seizes the hint and throws it out the window. she takes the role and pushes for more agency for her character. she cannot be truly loved without her agency
speaking of. adrien doesnt get to go to school. he follows her around most days, and he smiles when she asks. he never took to the stage, but he's an actor in his own right, in his own way. and he's hers.
and it's not enough. nathalie's love grows lazy as emilie breaks up to cause a scandal. they script it out themselves. nathalie watches adrien out the window. emilie kisses her to turn her gaze back. adrien is always in the garden. she tells him to come inside. she tells him to love her. it used to feel less hollow.
she wishes she could be sure it was all true
she wishes.
she wishes, and nathalie is warmer when they have a mission, so emilie know this is the right thing to do. they know what they have, and what they need, for a wish
emilie transforms, and makes a monster of someone's love
suddenly, the whole world is watching
two girls come out with the cat and ladybug. adrien is safe at home. two girls come out and they're heroes and they're here for her. for her!
nooroo loves her. nooroo says that, at least. she could care less, busy in the glory of her enemies' company, drunk on magic, having the time of her life with a purpose reborn. this is where she is meant to be-- centre stage, on every screen. they set their phones to notify them of her presence. it's always a surprise and they're always quick to know. the news loves to see what she makes. nathalie says she's straying from her goal, if she cares. the people say she's a monster. they just don't understand love
in the end-- in the end the heroes practically offer themselves up to her. there are more of them by then. she wasnt expecting it to be so soon, or she would have dressed for the occasion. would have made a spectacle of it. adrien had been dragged into their circle. they chose a bad miraculous for him. she shouldn't have let him stray from his mother
they're just tired of her. it's been a year and emilie graham de vanily is a recluse. butterfly attacks are constant and emilie barely exists anymore. it was beautiful, though. but they're tired of her. they're sick and they hurt and it's her fault, they say. they're breaking and it's her fault. that's love, isn't it? isn't it? it tastes beautiful. she built this all out of love, do they know that? the feelings just look so heavy and pretty and she's so good at making them hurt.
we're tired, they say, again
she takes their miraculous. she gets to her wish. what did she want to wish for again? love. she wanted love.
she sees gabriel again. it's been too long. she didn't like that love. when it left she had nothing. he was everywhere, and-- he was nowhere. she doesn't think about that often. but it hurt. she didn't like that love
does she want real love? she had a family and one's dead and one's a traitor and one's torn and one's in england and who the fuck knows what happened to the rest of them
the spotlights were good, though. she danced so well. the heroes are all still watching. they want to know what she wants. they're interested.
in her.
she wishes. she wishes for it to never end
so it never does.
#its midnight. fuck#emilie agreste#emilie graham de vanily#mlb emilie#emilie butterfly au#mlb au#mlb#miraculous ladybug#ml ladybug#ml emilie#eminath#nathalie sancoeur#adrien agreste#mlb nathalie#mlb adrien#ml nathalie#ml adrien#gabriel agreste#mlb gabriel#ml gabriel#writing
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