#we're all in motherfuckers
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Not me making an outline for a fic, knowing it's going to be a fairly long one, and expecting 2,000-3,000 words tops (maybe 4,000 if I'm being detailed. 5,000 if I'm being SUPER detailed)
ONLY TO BE AT 7,000 WORDS AND STILL GOING
This is only supposed to be the outline. Not even the rough draft. I'm just putting down the most basic series of events the stories is going to follow, and I'm still hashing this thing out at 7,000 words. I haven't even reached the middle yet.
Fuck me and my natural inclination towards long and complex plots.
But goddamn am I having fun with this.
One day I'm going to figure out how to write sweet and simple one-shots. I'm going to figure out how to make a short story.
But until then, enjoy my gigantic, monstrosity of fanworks. If you have commitment issues, unfollow me now, cuz all of my shit is long-term.
#this wasn't supposed to get so long#but I say that about all my fics#that's how Just Kiss Already started#it was supposed to be ONE one-shot#but then it grew#and grew#and continues to grow#you guys have no IDEA what kind of shit I have planned for this series#I am going to tear these characters apart mentally emotionally and physically#and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me#and I'm out here doing it again#someone tell me to stop#I too am a slave under capitalism#if I got paid writing my complex fanfictions this wouldn't be a problem#but capitalism deems that I do not have time for all the fic writing I want to do#and yet im going to write more long fic anyway#im so serious about the comittment issues thing#if you're ride or die this is going to be a long term relationship#we're all in motherfuckers#the carts are moving and there is no getting off this ride#damn im so excited for this new wip im working on#you guys have no idea
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listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN
I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.
I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.
#honor among thieves#dnd#dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves#holga kilgore#she is a BARBARIAN whose name is KILL GORE like who among us has not been in a party with this exact character#some new player who picked whatever they were told was the easiest class and gave them a name that is 98% a joke#and just piggybacked their backstory onto the most experienced player's as like rp training wheels#and then smash cut 60 sessions later and we're all getting choked up over john dingus or whatever#do you motherfuckers know how rarely i cry????? about ANYTHING?????#god it was so good#i am going to watch this an unhealthy amount#i want a separate movie for every red wizard and also one about xenk's backstory#his name is X E N K with an X these writers have played some fucking DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS#do i have to buy dead in thay now?????? i think i have to buy dead in thay now#i literally ran dnd on friday and this movie put me in WITHDRAWAL i want to play some dnd Now
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Do not let the Protestant Work Ethic Beast in your head win!
You are not alone! You are not the sole difference between death and life! You are a person who will at some point need to take a break!
That is why there is community! That is why there is organizing! Do not despair because you, alone, are not currently boots on the ground fixing things! Do something, but do not let that something be collapsing!
#I will not be firebombing a walmart I have a dad to care for#Rn Im at work keeping the lgbtq center at my school open and cheerful#That's all I can do rn#that and tell yall not to kill yourselves#if you do I'm dragging you back cause I'm not doing this shit alone#Fuck Trump and his mama we aren't letting doomer shit win#You really wanna kill yourself over a bitch ass christian piss baby?? You're gonna let that man be your 13th reason?#It will be awful I will not lie to you. It will be miserable#But he is a bitch ass motherfucker and a coward who stands on nothing but his crumbling wealth and the hatred of his fans#Take a breather. Refresh. Drink a cold fanta orange with me cause that shit fucking slaps rn#Then get on the ground and get shit going whether that's packing your bags to go to a safer area or getting ready to throw hands#But the last thing we're gonna do is sit here and act like no one will survive to see another day#Cause I will. I will see the next day if it kills me#we will see another day and that day will be another one closer to palestine being free#that will be another day closer to ensuring human rights for all#another day closer to progress and a separation of church and state#another day closer to the rest of our lives#Do not collapse but I am here to pick you up if you do#And if I'm not someone else is#fuck it we ball#ex christian#religious trauma
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i'll admit it. he's blorbo shaped
#and i will never scribble him the same way twice#there is Something about him#i hope we learn so so much about this funky dude i wanna know how his mind works#whats his lingo? his mannerisms? whats his favorite kind of leaf? important questions!#i have these questions - with some variation - for all of the neighbors but rn ive got bug brain#who is this strange motherfucker....#hey maybe we'll learn something in the Update#we're gettin close! im getting nauseous from nerves! yeehaw!#scribble salad#welcome home#howdy pillar#hes certainly a Challenge to scribble ill give him that much#four arms AND four legs?? oof how does he manage#i can barely coordinate the standard 2s i have#WAIT. four arms... four legs... eight limbs#Does Howdy Is Spider????#im sorry i have to squish him now. to the farm in the sky he goes
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SET SIX - ROUND ONE - MATCH THREE
"Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate" (1997 - John Boskovich) / "Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)" (1991 - Félix González-Torres)
ELECTRIC FAN (FEEL IT MOTHERFUCKERS): it makes me literally insane that’s all that’s left of him and he made sure it would stay remembered, something something the last trace of a breath immortalized the only way it could be. Feel it, motherfuckers. (courfeyracs-swordcane) (also submitted by callixton and weeweewhirlwind)
UNTITLED (PORTRAIT OF ROSS IN L.A.): It fucks me up SO MUCH. The artist's partner was named Ross, and died of AIDS in the same year this was created. The ideal weight is roughly the average of an adult man. The allegory there... people taking the candy, decreasing the weight, the same way people took away from Ross and every other victim of the AIDS crisis by refusing to help, to do anything at all. Except this has an "endless supply" of candy. People can take and take and it keeps coming back. They can't get rid of us forever. We will prevail and we will rebuild and I WILL be fucked up about this forever (ceaseless-rambler)
("Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate" is an electric fan encased in plexiglass with vinyl faux etching and a plexiglass base with casters by gay American artist John Boskovich--Stephen Earanbino's partner. It was the last item left in Stephen Earabino's estate after his death by AIDS and measures 56 7/8 x 22 3/4 x 12 1/2 in. (144.5 x 57.8 x 31.8 cm). It is held by The Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles.
"Untitled (Portrait of Ross in LA)" is a modern art installation consisting of wrapped candies (constantly removed and replaced) by gay Cuban-American artist Félix González-Torres after the death of his partner, Ross, by AIDS. The weight is equivalent to a healthy human male - approximately 175 lbs (79kg). It is located at the Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago.)
#art that fucks you up tournament#polls#atfyu polls#id in alt text#did you know wikipedia has an entire page on Art of the AIDS Crisis#i am SO sorry about this matchup. like genuinely. i am torn.#GOD i cannot express how these two make me feel#feel it motherfuckers. feel his breaths. take the candy and know that we are always coming back. that is him and he is here.#idk how to insert this information but john boskovich was not left anything by his lover's family. the refusal of his love by others...#he only got the fan because no one else wanted it. more in the rbs under my main though.#ross in LA has a lot more propaganda but we're going to cycle it. if it doesn't make it past this round we'll post it all.
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Half of this fic is just me looking for more excuses to put in all the cool women that the show wrote out
Still working on the next chapter for the GOT rewrite from hell, but I had to write a little about how the fuck menstruation works in Westeros (other than "oh you can get married now!" which I refuse to believe is the norm) and also to introduce the Sphinx:
The next morning, Shireen woke up to find blood on her shift and a sharp sort of twist in her stomach, as though she'd swallowed a molten pin. The blood came out easily enough, with frantic scrubbing in the basin, but the pain grew over the course of the morning.
"It's your flowering," said Maester Alleras briskly, when she went to him in a tightly-controlled panic. "How old are you?"
"Fourteen," said Shireen, realizing the date. Her nameday had passed two weeks ago.
"And what do you know of flowering?" he asked, smiling slightly at her blush. "Forgive me, but Northerners have queer ideas of teaching their children about these matters. I do not wish to presume your level of education."
"I know it can last for a week or more," Shireen said, thinking of Mother's cycles, how she would confine herself to her rooms to endure the pain in solitude and prayer. "It's very painful and disgusting, but it allows me to bear my future husband's children and therefore is a gift from the gods."
"Hmm. Well, that is what you were taught, at least," grunted the maester. He got up from his desk, rummaging through the cupboard behind him. He was a tall, skinny young man with the deep brown skin and tightly-coiled hair of a Summer Islander, and shared their fondness for brightly-colored nails: they seemed to dance along the shelves until he plucked out a jar and presented it to her with a flourish. "This will help with the pain, and stop the bleeding after this cycle. People of the North use it a great deal."
"Is it moon tea?" Shireen asked, taking it gingerly and wondering at Maester Alleras's use of the term Northerners, which sounded different from People of the North. Perhaps in the Summer Isles, everyone on Westeros was a Northerner. "Why do they use it so much here?"
"It is," he confirmed, "and as for why..." He shrugged. "I've only just arrived in Winterfell, you understand, and as you may have guessed—" this said with another smile— "I was born elsewhere. But from what I've gathered, they must be careful when they have children. The North can only feed so many."
Shireen thought of Fire & Blood, which Father had read to her as a child. The Winter Wolves had been a company of Northerners, who had answered Lord Cregan's call to fulfill the Pact of Ice and Fire with Rhaenyra Targaryen. They'd been greybeards who had knowingly marched to their deaths, for such was the custom of the North back then: at the start of each winter, the old men of each keep and castle and holdfast would choose amongst themselves who would go out into the snows. Some would return home in the spring, having endured the cold or escaped it to find their fortunes in southron lands; most would not.
"Put a thimbleful of this into whatever tea you like best," Maester Alleras continued, gesturing at the jar, his fingernails catching the light as it streamed into the rookery. "Once a day, and come back when you need more."
"Shouldn't I ask—" Shireen bit her lip.
But the maester caught her meaning; his eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you ask your parents? Yes, I suppose you should. But they should be here to be asked, and they should have told you the truth."
"What's the truth?" Shireen asked, instead of admitting that Mother and Father had never told her anything about it. She couldn't imagine either of them even mentioning the subject. All her information had come from books, or from Mother's complaints.
"The truth is that if a cycle is painful and lasts for a week or more, that is the sign of an illness, not the will of a god. The truth is that you may well find it disgusting, but it is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame to you or anyone else." He glared, though it did not seem directed at her. "And as for 'bearing your future husband's children,' the truth is that they are your children, just as much as his — indeed more so, unless he carries them about for the first nine months after their birth. But you will not be a woman grown for at least another two years, and any man who wishes you to bear children until at least that time is unworthy of your hand or your love." He sat back down, his half-dozen maester's links chiming musically. "Now run along, little princess."
Lady Sansa was just outside the door, with her brother beside her. "See, I told you she smelled funny," Rickon said triumphantly.
Shireen scowled at him. "Shut up." It was kind of him, she supposed, to have worked out that something was wrong and to wait for her outside the maester's chambers. But Rickon Stark was the sort of friend who was difficult to be grateful for.
"Yes, please do, Rickon," Lady Sansa said, pressing a businesslike kiss on the crown of Rickon's head before turning him round by the shoulders and pushing him down the corridor. Rickon protested, but went all the same, and Lady Sansa turned back to Shireen. "Moon tea?" she asked, nodding at the jar.
Shireen resisted the impulse to hide it somehow. It is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame. "Yes, my lady," she said.
"Come along, then," said Lady Sansa. "I have some excellent tea from the Arbor. How does that sound?"
"Could I have a hot water-skin, too?" Shireen asked, as Lady Sansa looped her arm through hers.
"Of course. And the lemon trees in the greenhouse have given up their first fruits — we'll have lemon cakes for lunch instead of venison." She smiled and Shireen thought that even if Sansa Stark never took another husband or had children of her own, she was still all the mother that the North ever would need.
#Sarella/Alleras in the house!#seriously I love this character so much#I'm writing her here as a cis woman who's pretending to be a man because she wanted to be a maester#however all headcanons are obv valid and it's not like we're ever going to get an answer from Martin about this#also is this a chance to make a joke about how sansa is also 'mother'? MAYBE#anyway#got: bitches get stuff done#game of thrones motherfuckers#also I've seen the fanon around that Stannis read to Shireen as a child and that's why she thinks of it as a love language#which: just kill me#but also Fire & Blood is 100% the shit Stannis would read to a three-year-old
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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i will NEVER not be pissed that most colleges cost about 40k A YEAR on average and that if YOUR PARENTS make over 120k AS A GROSS INCOME you're practically immediately disqualified for need-based aid???? like do you really believe anybody can afford to throw an entire third of their annual income to their kid's schooling, when they probably have several thousands of dollars in loan debt themselves??? in THIS economy??? eggs are fucking $7 a dozen where i am right now but GOD FUCKING FORBID i get any financial aid because "well your upper class" NEWS FLASH 120K IS THE NEW MIDDLE CLASS AND JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS MAKE OKAY MONEY NOW DOESN'T MEAN FUCK ALL WHEN I CAN REMEMBER ALL THE NIGHTS THEY DIDN'T EAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED ME AND MY SISTERS I need to hold everyone involved at gunpoint because i really don't think a single fucking one of them understands "oh but you have money :/" there's literally a reason i work FULL FUCKING TIME while double majoring and it's because my parents can't even send me money for fucking groceries, let alone fork out FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS GOD DAMN YEAR for a degree that'll be FUCKING WORTHLESS in three years anyway i worked my ASS off and graduated with a 4.7 to get scholarships because i knew that's the only way i'd realistically be able to afford school. and then the fucking fafsa goes "oh but you have money in your savings! you can pay for your own school" bitch i have 4k and it's for my fucking rent!!!! my parents have like $600 in savings do YOU SEE THE ISSUE that's what being forced into credit card debt for 20 years fucking does it puts you in an unescapable hole so even when you're making good money YOU DON'T GET SHIT!!!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE ABYSMAL CREDIT SCORES MY PARENTS HAVE SO GOOD FUCKING LUCK TRYING TO GET LOANS FOR ME!!! COSIGNER? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER IM GOING TO KILL PEOPLE!!!!!!
#sponsored by me working on transfer applications and the fafsa telling me to go fuck myself ✨✨#i need to strangle ever single fucking person in charge of uni pricing#give me ONE fucking reason your school costs 40k a year when you have thousands of undergrads#'non-profit' my FUCKING ASS lets do the math.#i currently go to a small school so 4500 undergrads (rounded down)#tuition ALONE is 43k. not to mention housing and food#but i'll be generous#so 4500 x 43000 = 193.500.000....which is ONE HUNDRED AND NINTY THREE AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS??????#there's 315 full time faculty and 240 part time#i've talked to professors and the MOST tenured ones here make about 130k a year#so JUST FOR A MOMENT LETS ASSUME EACH FACULTY MAKES 130K.... (240+315)(130000) = 72.150.000#OKAY SO 193M - 73M = 120 MILLION LEFT OVER AND I KNOW GOD DAMN WELL THAT NOT ALL OF THAT GETS PUT BACK INTO THE SCHOOL#THE DECREPIT FALLING APART DORMS AND CLASSROOMS??? THERE ARE FUCKING RATS IN THE ONE BUILDING LIKE HUH?????#NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ONLY PROVIDE HOUSING FOR 2 YEARS AND ARE LOCATED IN THE SECOND MOST EXPENSIVE CITY FOR RENTERS IN THE US...........#'we're non-profit :)' MOTHERFUCKERS WHERE IS THAT 120 MILLION DOLLARS FUCKING GOING THEN. EAT MY DICK
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Army: Do not fear children, we are on your side. . . . Army: lol sike
#DO NOT TRUST THESE MOTHERFUCKERS#DO NOT TRUST ANYONE#DO NOT TRUST HASINA#DO NOT TRUST ANYTHIGN WITHOUT EVIDENCE#THEY'RE GOING TO WIPE US OUT#THEY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US#THEY WILL NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MURDERING US OFF#bangladesh#lol we're fighting against our own country this is fucking ridiculous#all eyes on bangladeshi students#save the students of bangladesh#save bangladeshi student#bangladesh protests#bangladesh news#all eyes on bangladesh#dhaka#step down sheikh hasina#student protests#quota reform
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i just realised how hypocritical it is of me to have "CEO of taimizu" in my discord bio when i'm such a staunch critic of capitalism and big business. how can i root for the downfall of CEOs and proclaim me one myself. i'm a disgrace.
#i cannot emphasise enough that this is A JOKE!!!!#taimizu belongs to all of us it's publicly owned <3#dismantle the “CEO of [x ship]” meme. bring back “captain of [x ship]” as a meme instead#we're not businessmen but pirates. yo ho ho and away we go motherfucker#shut up haydar
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#cityhumans#Serbia#Novi Sad cityhumans#Novi Sad#protests#I know it was surely SNS people who began the violent protesting#but I don't believe all of it was them#The 08 kid they arrested wasn't paid by SNS.#The two barely adult 05s they arrested were not paid by SNS#We're angry and we're allowed to be angry and we NEED to be angry#We got that motherfucker Milošević off#we'll get Vučić too#they're scared#they sent all of their forces to NS#they're shaking in their bloody fucking boots
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excerpting
Domestic Diplomacy II is turning out to be even more "splickedy gratuitously gets caught in the weeds of xenosociology and alien language barriers, the fic sequel" and tbh I'm not mad about it
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“Oh, your moirail!” says Jade, and bounces upright, ignoring John’s wary little soft human cautionary hiss. To your vague surprise, she’s apparently learned enough not to do the human holding-out-a-hand gesture they usually do when they’re introduced; she clasps her hands in front of her, nonexistent claws politely folded in, and ducks her head briefly forward and to one side, careful not to jab at him with her nonexistent horns.
It's a pretty passable greeting—for a social equal, which is its own bizarre issue, considering he’s a highblood. But relatively non-offensive, for a human, and fortunately for her she’s picked a highblood who isn’t likely to give a shit. Gamzee laughs out loud and gives his own lazy-ass version of a greeting back, a vague twist of his wrists and dip of his head, condescending to use an equal’s greeting back at her. When he says “Gamzee Makara,” there’s a hint of a threatening buzz to it, a testing you should know to respect me warning—you could have told him she’d show absolutely no sign of hearing it, which is exactly what happens.
“I’m Jade Harley! I meet you,” Jade says, a carefully neutral statement-of-fact greeting—not fawning or hostile. You don’t know if humans are out here just learning neutral address no matter what, or if this human particularly just doesn’t give a shit that your moirail’s a fuck-off mutant-huge highblood with horns that scrape the ceiling of the block—by the expectant way she looks up at Gamzee afterward, she wouldn’t give much of a shit either way. Out of all of the humans, Jade Harley might actually win the prize for giving the least shits, no matter what Rose and Dave like to pretend.
“Yeah, I meet you too, motherfucker,” says Gamzee, looking incredibly amused, and glances down at you. “She’s a rude-ass little motherfuckin’ toothful, huh? I like her.”
“Of course you do,” you say, pained. “Don’t take it personally, alright? You’re not a highblood here, they don’t get highbloods.”
“Oh, best friend,” says Gamzee, and kisses your nugbone again, embarrassingly. “I’m a highblood wherever the fuck I go. It’s cool though. Squishy-ass little motherfuckers won’t get any grief from me.”
“<Motherfucker>,” Jade repeats behind you, and switches back to English, in the bright, wide verbal tone you’re starting to learn means ‘smiling and happy’, weird interstitial ‘vowel’ breath-sounds further back in the throat through pulled-back mouth-corners. “Hmm, <motherfucker>… Oh, neat! Is that dialect? It sounds like, ahh, what’s that other word. Kk—kkkht— Uh, dammit. You guys need to learn how to use vowels— It sounds like <;brother>.”
“It is like,” you say, surprised despite yourself. “<Brother> is a troll, and <motherfucker> you put it all spots you want. It’s a thing, it’s a troll, it’s a, tss, a doing-things word, it’s a name. It’s bad, it’s good. Any spot you want. And he does want, for all those, all the time.”
#splickedydrabbles#Homestuck#Domestic Diplomacy#me staring into the distance: what if 'motherfucker' and 'brother' are translated different but they're related words in alternian....#what if 'brother' and 'sister' aren't different words theyre just translated in english based on gender but there's no distinction actually#it's all the word I tend to translate as 'kin'/'family'/'fam' lol but gendered by english-speakers for comprehension#what if alternian greetings have implicit settings for 'i'm hostile to you' and 'i'm trying to be non-offensive and polite'#and the lack of either is an implicit message of 'we're equals' which comes with its own social baggage RE: castes#what if I approached Homestuck as though it was implicitly a translated text ala JRR Tolkein's meta-narrative of Lord of the Rings#''Alternian wouldn't spell his name 'karkat vantas' of course but it's been anglicized for the audience with additional vowel sounds''#'when his tone of voice is referenced in this line it of course actually refers to his engagement of his third subvocal chatterbox--''#WHAT IF--#I am frothing at the damn mouth I love fucking around in this sandbox so much I will make up ALL the societal/cultural indicators#this is the casual/semi-formal/court-formal code-switching in Save a Horse Ride a Dragon all over again lmao NO REGERTS
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sat down like okay. gotta be serious for a second to figure out this kink in my story. it might be annoying, it might take some effort, but it's crucial for the end result. and then 30 seconds in I realized I'd actually worked it out a few days ago
#shitpost#i was like okay i gotta focus like extra for a second#i know the general thing that needs to happen. but how SPECIFICALLY does it work out#so. writers block fixed I guess. kind of. few little details to figure out#also guys. i am ignoring the deadline HARD rn#not like I won't finish in time#just like. my god do I always set myself up for a race and a crunch#also. DREADING the amount of editing i have ahead of me#quil why did u do this you motherfuck#but i can't think about that yet i have to finish writing first#i have. 9 days. fuckkkkkk#fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#okay. okay. okay. okay. it's fine. we're all good. GOD i hope my recipient likes this i always overthink it#and overcomplicate it#biting my nails tearing out my hair fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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I love Sam so so much that is my little brother, but soo many of Sam fans either hating Dean or shipping wincest makes we want to peel off my own skin STOOOOPPP
#pls be normal#i get it its tumblr#but god why#somehow it feels like the only normal areas in this fandom are#my heavily filtered ao3 space#and the Cas girl or hellers areas#which is a crazy thing to say we're all delusional to some degree#NOT wincest#in fact if you ship wincest or any incest pls block me bc i dont have the energy to block so many motherfuckers#sam winchester#sam girl#dean girl#pls no one argue at me#a. ill just block you#and b. i just find incest in all manners gross#please yall#and also i identify too much with dean winchester to deal#supernatural#spn
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