#we’ve already eaten half the loaf

[bonebrokebuddy]

MMMM

BREAD

A photoshoot for my grape Powerade bread experiment

[biggest-stupidhead]

So I was wondering if I could request something like Levi x reader where they get into an argument right before a expedition. The reader gets hurt on that expedition and Levi feels guilty. Kinda thinking angst and a bit of fluff at the end c:

I loved writing this sm! thanks for sending it in anon!

Summary: You grapple with Levi before a stressful mission.

Word Count: 2.3K

__

"Behave yourselves and enjoy this 'cause it cost the corps two months worth of our budget!" The chef announced as plates of meat were uncovered in front of the soldiers. Your mouth watered as you watched Hange slice the thick slabs of meat on the platter.

"Worth every penny." She hummed as she slapped a piece onto her plate. Levi rolled his eyes and looked up at Erwin, who was sat across from him. You elbowed him and shot him a dazzling grin.

"Lighten up cap, it's not often that we get to enjoy this stuff."

"It'll likely be the last for most." Levi grunted and your grin fell from your lips.

"So macabre." Hange snickered as she gnawed on a piece of meat.

"It's the truth." Levi's cold eyes were locked on Erwin who nodded in agreement.

"Well I plan on savoring it." You quipped, popping a piece into your mouth and chewing it dramatically. Levi scoffed and crossed his arms, ignoring his full plate.

"-Sasha! That's my hand!" Jean cried out, you had to cover your mouth in a futile attempt at hiding your amusement. Sasha had her teeth sank into his hand as Connie desperately tried to pry her from Jean.

"Sasha! Don't make me knock you out!" Connie pleaded as he caught her in a choke hold.

"Damn kids." Levi growled, as he glared at the teens from across the room.

"They're having fun! You should try it sometime." Hange kicked Levi under the table and you chuckled around another mouthful of food.

"I'm good." Levi's lip curled in disgust as Sasha was wrestled to the ground, the two boys finally subduing her.

"They're young, let them figure it out themselves." You assured him, gently resting a hand on his elbow. His eyes softened for a fraction of a second at this. Your touch was fleeting before your hand fell onto the bench between the two of you. He sighed loudly, finally grabbing his fork and picking at his potatoes.

The atmosphere was warm and made you feel so...whole. Even if you knew that Levi was right, tonight was likely the last time you and your comrades would dine together. But even if that was the case, you would be grateful for this happy memory. The peace was short lived however. Jean and Eren broke out into a fist fight, a rather pitiful one at that.

Within a few short minutes, the two were a sweaty mess, both huffing and staggering as they held their fists up. Levi got to his feet and stalked towards them, a deep scowl etched on his face.

With only two blows, the pair was on the floor, clutching their stomachs as Levi towered over them.

"Go to bed." He ordered. Jean vomited and Levi's lip curled in disgust.

"And clean that shit up." He added curtly as the dining hall murmured, recovering from the excitement. Sasha whimpered from her post as she struggled against her binds, feet kicking loudly against the wooden floors. As the soldiers filed out of the room, you made your way to her to free her. She sighed in relief as the gag was pulled off her mouth and the ropes slashed.

"Thanks miss." She gushed as she rolled her tense wrists.

"Don't mention it." You smiled as you reached into your pocket and passed her a loaf of bread.

"Did I mention how much I love you?" She grinned as she accepted the food and dove in for a hug.

"Actually, I don't think that you have." You giggled as she began eating the bread behind your shoulder as she hugged you.

"mf, well I sure do!" She exclaimed around a full mouth.

"You'd better go catch up with the others." You suggested with a firm pat on her back. She stood and jogged out of the dining hall, half eaten loaf in hand.

"You're too soft with them." Levi scolded from the doorway. You waved him off as you joined him, walking side by side out of the large room.

"They need it." You assured him, gently brushing your shoulder against his.

"The last thing they need is to be coddled." Levi argued.

"Levi, I think that sometimes you forget that they're fifteen." You paused outside of his office, leaning against the threshold as he unlocked the door.

"I haven't forgotten." He mumbled as he pushed the door open.

"Okay." You rolled your eyes, brushing off his especially sour mood.

"Don't you have formation plans to look over?" He asked as you followed him into his office.

"I thought we could go over them together." You shrugged, dropping down onto his couch.

"I'm not looking at them now."

"Then why should I be? Do you think I can't comprehend a simply formation we've used for years?" You were half teasing, but there was only so much crap you could take from him.

"Sometimes it seems that way." He agreed, falling into his desk chair. Your eyes narrowed and the food that had felt so good in your stomach moments before seemed too heavy.

"Why are you extra shitty tonight?" You asked even though you knew the answer. He always got moody the days leading up to missions.

"I think you know why." He looked up from his papers to shoot you a pointed glare.

"You need a nap." You attempted to rein in the easy banter, but Levi was persistent.

"I need you to get the fuck out of my office." His words stung, and you barely caught the hurt expression before it crossed your face.

"I'll see you in the morning." You said as you stalked across the small room and out of the door, closing it softly behind you. Levi groaned once he was sure you wouldn't hear him, his head hit his desk hard as he tried to fight off the migraine that had been creeping up on him since dinner.

__

As promised, the next morning he saw you. Or rather, he caught glimpses of you as you readied your horse and helped the younger soldiers make last minute preparations. The day ahead was going to be long and taxing. Mostly comprised of traveling out of the safety of the walls. Erwin had allowed for just enough time for the scouts to travel, timing it just so their departure from the gates would be well after sunset.

His morning was shittier than usual, Hange had been annoying, and Erwin had been stubborn as ever, continuing to dismiss his lack of an arm and insisting on joining the corps on the mission. So when you didn't brush up against him and crack one of your shit jokes during the long ride, he knew that he had royally fucked things up.

He still hadn't spoken to you when the lifts hoisted the scouts over the wall and into titan territory, or when the lanterns were the only light that guided them through thick trees.

When the first rays of sunlight fell onto the abandoned city of shiganshina, you stood stoically beside Hange and Moblit. He had missed his window, now it was time to focus on the mission. He could only hope that both himself and you survived.

__

As the morning wore on and the battle turned from bad to worse, you knew that chances of survival became slimmer. The only thing you could do was trust in Hange, Erwin and Armin to form a plan to defeat the Reiner and the beast titan. The colossal had yet to show his face, making you more uneasy. The small victory of bringing down Reiner was short lived as a barrel flew over the wall and the sounds of distance explosions echoed through the walls.

"Bertolt is in there!" Armin screamed as you watched the barrel fly overhead.

"What do we do!?" Connie cried as you flew through the rooftops.

"If he transforms, there will be nothing we can do!" Armin yelled over the wind. Eren's titan jogged ahead as you made your way towards the center of town.

"We have to do something!" You yelled, desperate for a solution. Luckily he didn't immediately transform, instead rushing to Reiner's side and addressing him first.

"I'm going to regroup with Hange!" You said, as Bertolt zipped towards you.

"Hurry!" Jean yelled after you as you flew away, pouring on the speed.

You reached Hange's team to find them struggling with some dysfunctional thunder spears.

"(Y/n)! I'm glad you made it! Was that Bertolt inside of there?" Moblit asked as you landed heavily on the tiled rooftop.

"Yeah, it's him. We don't have long before he transforms. We've got to get back to the kids!" You informed them and they all leapt off of the rooftop, rushing back in the direction that you had come from. You only made it about half way there before a blinding mushroom cloud and a clap of thunder overpowered your senses. Hange reached out for you, snagging your wrist. Moblit pushed the two of you down and you screamed as the blast took him in a blinding light. You and Hange fell down a well, a mess of limbs and tangled gear. You couldn't tell if it was your blood or hers as the two of you laid motionless in the shallow well.

"Hange!" Your ears rang as you shook her desperately. Her face was covered in blood, you could tell that her eye was missing already. You began clawing through your pockets in search of gauze, the taste of iron made you want to gag. With shaky hands, you wrapped her head, covering her exposed eye socket. She woke moments later, hands shooting out to grab you.

"Your face." She groaned, hand falling to rest on your chin as she slowly sat up.

"What's wrong with-" You froze mid sentence when you realized that was why you tasted blood. She dug into her own pocket and produced a needle and some suture. She sewed the large gash, which ran from the apple of your cheek to the corner of your mouth.

"We need to check for survivors." Hange grunted as she bit off the remaining suture, you nodded in agreement.

__

As you stood on the rooftop staring at the two lifeless bodies, you knew immediately who had to be chosen. Hange clutched Mikasa to her chest as the girl cried, tears running off her pale cheeks.

"Levi." You whimpered, his bloodied face turned, eyes wild and tortured.

"Get back, I'm giving the serum to Erwin." He ordered. Floch hauled Eren away from Armin, who's charred skin smoked in the late afternoon sun.

"You can't." You cried, tears stinging the wound on your cheek.

"I will." Levi growled.

"Now leave!" He pulled the syringe out of the case and filled it with the opaque liquid and your chest squeezed painfully.

"But-" Jean's hand closed tightly around your bicep as he began pulling you towards the edge of the roof.

"Let's go." Jean's voice was strangled, and you realized that all of you felt this loss deeply. He needed you to be an adult here, needed some reassurance. So you leaned into him and allowed him to pull you off of the roof, wrapped securely in his arms. As you hugged him and Connie a few rooftops away, the sound of a titan crashing through buildings made you look up. Levi landed near you, head hung low and empty syringe in hand.

The thin beast shoved the screaming boy down its gullet and you gasped when you saw its face. You knew it was Armin, and you felt ashamed at the surge of relief that flowed through you.

__

The sun beat down on your shoulders as you sat beside Sasha on the wall. Levi and Hange had gone with Mikasa and Eren about an hour ago, leaving you in charge of the remaining kids.

"Here they come!" Connie called, pointing excitedly at the group as they used the last of their gas to scale the wall. Levi didn't bother joining the group, instead favoring to walk in the opposite direction. You rushed after him, legs pumping as you ran across the wall. You snagged his wrist and tugged on it gently.

"Levi." You had no words, only able to form his name in a raspy voice.

"I should have chosen Erwin." He said numbly, too weak to even try pulling free of your grasp.

"It's over. We reclaimed Maria. You made a hard choice, I can't say it was the right one but.." Your words failed you as he turned to face you. You had never seen him look so hopeless, lips glued into a frown and eyes searching for validation.

"You did what had to be done." You assured him as you took a step closer, the tips of your boots touching his.

"Did I?" His brows knitted together as your hand slipped into his.

"Yes. You did, you gave us a chance." You slowly leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. You were surprised when he melted into you, his body pressed close, breath tickling the skin behind your ear. Your hands gripped the harness on his back in an attempt to ground the two of you. He sighed and breathed you in, his own hands coming to rest at the small of your back.

"We'll figure this out." You said into his neck, lips brushing the skin there unintentionally.

"I'm glad....that you survived." He said into your messy hair, which was falling from it's hold. His hand slid from the small of your back to rest between your shoulder blades.

"Me too." You let out a small laugh half sob, allowing a few more tears to slide down your cheeks.

"Let's address those shitty kids." He said as he pulled back, and you nodded, giving him a watery smile as the two of you fell into a matched pace once more.

[kell-be-belle]

A Moment of Your Time

@sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo​

Prompt: Vanilla/Missionary

Relationship: Geralt/Jaskier

Rating: Mature 

Content Warnings: None

Summary:  While traveling on the Path, certain needs tend to fall to the wayside. When Jaskier and Geralt finally work up the courage to ask for some alone time, things don't go exactly as one would expect, but needs are met all the same.

Ao3

The fact that Ciri was looking up at them with those wide, innocuous eyes was what really made Geralt feel as though he were trapped in some kind of waking a nightmare. He had attempted to dissuade Jaskier; assure him that this was wholly necessary and that the two of them could contain themselves until they arrived at Kaer Morhen. Initially, they had agreed upon the matter, but with their destination still off by weeks of hard travel, the resolve wore thinner with each passing day. No, Jaskier had insisted, this was something that had to be done. With the distraction of their situation effectively satiated, they would be better equipped to see themselves safely home for the winter. It was a logic that was difficult to argue with and Geralt was hard pressed to agree, but that did not make the situation any less… mortifying.     

“Ciri,” Jaskier began, clearing his throat into the curved shape of his fist. “Geralt and I have been doing some talking and there is, uh… there is something that the two of us must, uh… m-must do. Well, I suppose we don't well and truly have to, I mean we are capable of self restraint, b-but it would honestly be a great relief to us both.” 

Geralt could not believe this was happening. He could not believe that he was allowing himself to sit complacently by and watch it all unfold. Blushing was not something Geralt was physically capable of doing, but if it were he was sure his face would be as alarmingly red as the wild beet stew they had eaten for dinner last night. Ciri looked up at them with those doe-like eyes, her head quizzically tilted to one side. The very picture of innocence.  

Sweet Melitile, they were really doing it. 

Jaskier continued, his hands fluttering restlessly about him like a pair of escaped birds, “You see, Ciri, when, uh… when adults are in love they need, err- oh, how do I…. Adults who are in love need time. Alone. Yes, time alone. To reaffirm to each other that they love each other. And while Geralt and I love each other most ardently, it has been, um… well, quite some time since we’ve reminded each other in this particular fashion. Three weeks and two days, but who’s counting.” The bark of his laughter bordered on hysterical.  

If the Earth could have opened wide and swallowed him whole, Geralt desperately wished it would at that moment. He was not opposed to spontaneous combustion, either. Honestly, anything so that he didn’t have to witness the way Ciri furrowed her pale brows. Watch the way her gaze flickered between the pair of them. 

“Are… are you guys asking me to give you alone time so you can… have sex?”

Geralt immediately answered with a harsh ‘no’ promptly at the same moment that Jaskier answered with a resigned ‘yes’. Geralt whirled on Jaskier, astounded that he would admit such a thing to a young girl so freely. 

“What?” He snapped upon seeing Geralt’s scandalized expression. “She clearly knows what she’s talking about and I am not going to disrespect her by pretending she doesn’t…. So, in answer to your question Ciri, yes. Geralt and I are asking to have some alone time so that we may have sex.” 

Geralt had wished for his spontaneous demise before, but he now called upon every demon, deity, and flea-bitten magic goat to make it so.  

For several moments, Ciri looked silently between them, the corners of her mouth drawn back in a display of disgust. Just when Geralt thought the shame would eat him alive, she grumbled, “Gross.” and planted her palms into the dirt beneath her, pushing herself to her feet. “You two are almost as bad as Grandmother and Eist.” 

Geralt and Jaskier watched aimlessly as she bustled about their little camp and began to gather provisions. She loaded her satchel with half a loaf of bread and some hard cheese. She then proceeded to rummage through Geralt’s pack and procure his battered copy of the bestiary as well as some parchment and a quill from Jaskier’s bag. Geralt could hear Jaskier swallow thickly as he noticed it was his most favorite quill clutched in her little fist, but he dared not to say a word.    

After she had finished her raid, Ciri whirled back on the two of them with a look of resigned determination, “I am going to be down by the stream. I will be back in exactly one hour. If I come back and find any,” She swallowed as if resisting the urge to gag. “Evidence then I swear I will leave you both here.” She hefted the satchel over her shoulder and turned in the direction of the aforementioned stream. “And no noise! I want to hear nothing more than the rustle of leaves and birdsong!” 

Bewildered by the smoothness at which their request was granted, Geralt and Jaskier stared aimlessly at the empty space Ciri had occupied for several moments. Jaskier at last broke the silence with a breathless affirmation, “That worked.” He huffed a little laugh and pushed a hand through his hair, “I can’t believe that actually worked.”

Geralt is still so dumbfounded by the success of the exchange that he is caught off guard as the front of his tunic is snatched in the remarkably strong grasp of Jaskier’s slender hands. Geralt is entirely pliant, swept helplessly away in the current of Jaskier’s movements. One moment he is being shoved bodily towards the patch of flattened earth where their bedrolls lay in their customary fashion of side by side. The next, he is blinking up in the pale patches of sky that peek between the thinning canopy of the trees surrounding them. His hips are pinned into the straw of the mattress by the bracket of Jaskier’s muscular thighs.    

Jaskier brings their mouths together in a fervent clash, all clacking teeth and pressing tongues. It knocks the breath from Geralt and leaves him gasping into Jaskier’s mouth. There are stars bursting in the darkness behind his eyelids by the time Jaskier releases him. 

“Melitele’s sweet, merciful tits,” Jaskier groans as he withdraws, swiping a tongue along the freshly swollen curve of his bottom lip. “I needed this so badly.” He rolls his hips gingerly against Geralt’s and he can already feel the hard curve of his cock pressing against the inner seam of his trousers. The roguish grin that splits across his mouth is positively devastating. “See how much I’ve been in want of you, darling? You’ve got me half hard already just on the sweet taste of your mouth.” His lithe musician’s fingers are already engaged in a heated battle with the fastenings of Geralt’s tunic. “How long has it been, my love? Weeks, months, centuries?” 

Geralt hisses as his flushed skin is exposed to the chilled forest air, “As I recall, it’s been three weeks and two days.”  

Jaskier leans over him and nips vindictively in the hollow beneath Geralt’s ear knowing full well that it would drive him mad with wanting. “Now, now don’t be a smartass. Three weeks, three months, three years, my point is it has been far too long. I’ve nearly forgotten what it feels like to get railed by your massive dick and I am in desperate need of a thorough reminder.” 

Geralt chuckles, “There is still a lot of walking left to do. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Jaskier growled and nipped again at the sensitive spot. Their lack of contact in recent weeks had left Geralt feeling raw and overly sensitive like an exposed nerve. A keen swelled in the back of his throat and he trapped it behind the clench of his teeth. “I will be bitching the rest of the way to Kaer Morhen no matter what and I think we would both rather it be from a thorough dicking than dissatisfaction.”  

Arousal spiked inside Geralt with a dizzying ferocity; hitting him like a second glass of wine swallowed down too quickly. The edges of him feel blurred, like his thoughts and his movements have fallen out of sync. He can feel himself reacting, feel the tightening in his trousers as his cock swells. His mind is struggling to catch up, delayed by the processing of all the new stimuli. The damp smell of the earth beneath him, the weight of Jaskier atop him, the sting of the fresh bite below his ear and the hot breath panting against the shell. All of it buzzes in his skull like a hive of disturbed bees and he struggles not to be overwhelmed. 

Geralt’s heart thumps hard in his chest, teetering precariously on the line between thrilling and maddening.

Jaskier grinds his hips down in a sinuous roll. The friction created by his weight and the drag of their thick winter clothing sets Geralt alight. Heat simmers under his skin like water just on the edge of boiling. Instinctively, his body arches up into the pressure, seeking more of that delicious friction. “An hour is plenty of time.” Jaskier breathes against his jaw. Geralt can feel the impish curve of his grin. “With your stamina, you could fuck me at least twice. Three times if we’re efficient about it.”  

While the thought of fucking Jaskier senseless still registers somewhere in Geralt’s mind as something he very much wants to do, it is scattered in the throng of other things. Honestly, Geralt hadn’t expected any of this was going to work. He had been fully prepared to spend the evening as he had been, with a frustrating ache in his balls. It was not something he was unused to. Before Jaskier, he went without more often than not. Waking up with Jaskier’s morning wood prodding into his backside admittedly made things slightly more difficult, but Geralt would ultimately survive. The unexpected shift in plans partnered with Jaskier’s enthusiasm, while welcome, made him feel overwhelmed.

There was heat in stomach and coursing through his veins and the drag of his trousers on his cock, the bracket of Jaskier’s hips caging him in. The scent of the earth and the musk of arousal and Jaskier’s sweet almond oil. Heat. Scent. Birds fluttering through the trees. Heat. Jaskier. The sting of the bite in the hollow of his ear. Heat. 

Geralt was so disoriented by the maelstrom of his own thoughts that he hadn’t registered the sound of his name. Jaskier had said it three times before it reached him through the din and he blinked up at the bard with wild, blown out eyes. Jaskier looked down at him worriedly, melding the curve of his palm against Geralt’s jaw. It cupped his face flawlessly as if that were the only purpose it was ever meant to serve. “Is something the matter? You have this look on your face.” 

Maybe it was because he was used to compromising or perhaps it was because Jaskier looked so pretty with his flushed cheeks and mused hair, but Geralt clenched his jaw and shook his head. “N-no, nothing.” Which was about as wholly unconvincing as he could be. It didn’t take Jaskier’s shrewdness to know something was amiss.      

“It’s not nothing. You know better by now, dear heart. Your feelings are important to me.” The tempered scrape of Jaskier’s calloused thumb against his cheek mollified Geralt like a child soothed by a lullaby. It quieted the din of his thoughts to the point that he could hear over them once more.  

With gentle pressure Jaskier tipped Geralt’s face, prompting him to meet his gaze, “Talk to me.” 

Faced with the boundless blue of Jaskier’s eyes Geralt felt his resolve promptly melt away like the last of winter’s frost with the first ray of spring sunshine. Yes, he did know better. In all the time they had known one another, Jaskier had never once made Geralt feel as though he were invalid; that his feelings were anything other than the most precious of treasures. 

Geralt worked his jaw, swiped a tongue across his kiss swollen lips as he took a moment to form words, “Sorry, it… it was just a bit much all at once.”

Jaskier clucked his tongue. Brushed a loose strand of white hair behind Geralt’s ear. “Oh, darling, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Geralt’s forehead and the soft huff of his breath in his hair makes Geralt’s stomach flutter as if filled with butterflies. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not feeling up to it. Despite my lamenting, I won’t actually die without sex for a couple more weeks. Or ever if that was what you wanted.” 

Geralt chuckled, “No, definitely not that.” And Jaskier chuckled, too. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, I’m just as frustrated as you, it’s just…” He trailed off and Jaskier waited with the patience of a saint. Caressing Geralt’s cheek and pressing tender, encouraging kisses into his hair. “I just… I know we don’t have much time, but I want to try and take it slow. Enjoy it. I… I’ve missed you.”  

The fondness in Jaskier’s gaze made a warmth pool in Geralt’s chest; filled him with an effervescence like a goblet brimming with honeyed mead. “And I you.” He leans down to take Geralt’s lips once more. It is just as passionate, just as wanting, but he takes his time to savor it. He sucks Geralt’s tongue, traces the edges of his teeth. The fringe of his ridiculous bangs tickle pleasantly against Geralt’s forehead like the brush of a feather.

When Jaskier pulls away once more, the light from the sun shines around him in a halo and Geralt thinks him something dazzling and otherworldly. “It is as I said, isn’t it? Sex is just another way to show the person you love just how much you love them. And I love you, Geralt. Truly,” He punctuates with a kiss to the Geralt’s forehead, “wholly,” then one to the apple of each cheek, “unconditionally.” and at last his lips. An hour wasn’t much time, but they would be sure to make the most of it.   

[searchingwardrobes]

The Convenient Groom: 10/14

Well, here it is everyone! One of the chapters I have been really looking forward to! There’s no kissing, but I give you platonic bed sharing plus emotional hurt/comfort with a side of jealousy. Enjoy!

Summary: Killian Jones just happens to be there when Emma Swan gets the phone call that changes everything: her fiance is leaving her at the altar. The thing is, it could also mean the end of her career. Convenient that Killian has nothing better to do that day. Convenient that he’s secretly in love with her. Not that Emma has to know that. Written for @spartanguard​​ .

Rating: M

Words: about 5k in this chapter

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Emma sighed as she polished off another piece of toast. She brushed the crumbs from her lap and relaxed into the comfortable chair on the back porch. She enjoyed the view of the ocean and the soothing sound of surf. It felt wonderful to be out in the fresh air after days cooped up inside sick. She contemplated going back to the kitchen for something more substantial, but she had given Killian her word. Besides, she’d already pushed her luck by spreading an extremely thin layer of butter on her toast.

Her cell phone started ringing on the patio table, and she jumped as if Killian had some sort of sixth sense about the butter. It was Ruby calling, however, not Killian.

“Hey, Rubes.”

“Hey, Ems,” Ruby’s simple reply was laced with meaning, “sooo, how’s it going being married to Mr. Hottie? Please tell me he leaves crumbs in the bed or smells really bad when he first wakes up in the morning. Otherwise I’ll be depressed over the state of my love life.”

Emma laughed as she flicked a few more errant crumbs off her pajama pants. “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he’s annoyingly neat. As for what he smells like when he wakes up, I wouldn’t know.”

There was a fumbling sound on the other end and a muttered curse from Ruby. “I’m sorry, I almost dropped my phone. How the hell do you not know? Please tell me you’re not -”

“Making him sleep on the couch? Well, yes. This isn’t the fifteenth century where I sold my body for a goat or something.”

“So the poor man has to sleep on the couch indefinitely?”

“Well, technically, I’ve slept on the couch the past couple of days. I had some sort of stomach bug.”

“That sucks, Ems, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Killian took good care of me.

“Did he?” Once again, Ruby’s voice was laced with unspoken meaning.

“Don’t start, Ruby, he was just being nice.”

“If he took care of you when you were sick, I personally think you should let him back in the bed.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I can’t let him back in bed if he was never in it to begin with.”

“Girl, I would change that arrangement ASAP.”

Emma just laughed and shook her head. “Ruby -”

“Emma,” her friend countered, “if you’re going to be married to that for a year, you might as well enjoy it.”

“And the purpose of this call is exactly . . . “

“Fine, fine,” Ruby muttered, “straight to business, if that’s what you want.”

“Yes. Please.”

“Okay, well Regina asked me to call and go over your itinerary for the book promotion.”

Emma rose from her chair to go back inside and find her laptop so she could pull up her calendar. “That’s good. I feel so out of the loop. I mean, I’m back to normal at my practice, but the new book has honestly been the last thing on my mind.”

“I don’t blame you with that fine piece of -”

“Ruby,” Emma cut her off, “focus.”

“Right, right, okay . . . so, we’ve got that interview set up on The Tiana Show. And Regina did tell you that will also have a Q&A segment with the audience, right?”

“Mhm,” Emma said as she scrolled through her calendar, “yeah, I made a note of that.”

“They also requested that Killian be there, and Regina okayed it.”

“Wait - what?”

Ruby’s voice was reassuring. “They just want him in the audience. You know, so they can pan to his reactions and stuff.”

Emma slouched back on the couch and wearily rubbed her forehead. “Ruby, how could the two of you not check with me first? Killian has a business to run. He might not be able to take off to New York in the middle of the week.”

“I don’t know, the man seems pretty willing to come running when you call.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, never mind,” Ruby said hurriedly. She changed the subject to the next item on Emma’s itinerary, and Emma didn’t press it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what her friend meant by the comment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Killian came home from work, he had a huge pot of chicken noodle soup that Elsa had made. It made Emma wonder if the woman cooked anything but soup. She was also grateful for something to eat that wasn’t toast. Personally, she could go for a cheeseburger, but she doubted Killian would agree.

He did, however, agree to eating outside on the back porch. He also said nothing when Emma slathered a hunk of French bread with butter. The bit she had at lunch hadn’t bothered her stomach, not that she would tell Killian that.

“Why do you look so nervous?” Killian asked her after blowing on a spoonful of soup.

Emma jabbed at a chunk of chicken with her spoon rather than looking at him. “I just have to ask you something, and I’m a little nervous you’ll be pissed.”

His forehead creased. “Why would I be? Emma, seriously, you can ask me anything.”

Emma gave him a tentative smile. “That’s sweet, but it’s just . . . well, my agent kind of agreed to something for you.”

Killian rested his elbows on the table. “Okay, I guess that was inconsiderate of her, but I’m not going to blow up about it or anything. Especially not at you.”

Emma let out a breath of air. “Good, and I told Ruby that they need to ask first from here on out.”

Killian tore a piece of bread from the loaf and dipped it into his soup. “So, what is it? I may have to tell them no, depending on what it is, but . . . “

He trailed off and shrugged as if to say he would have an open mind about it.

“They want you to go with me to do a talk show in New York City in a couple of weeks. Not to be interviewed or anything,” Emma rushed to add, “just to be in the audience. The show wants you there for like, reactions or whatever while they’re interviewing me.”

Killian nodded, completely calm, and it honestly threw her more than if he’d gotten pissed. “That’s fine with me. When is it?”

“A week from this coming Wednesday?”

He shook his head at her as a smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “You don’t have to phrase it as a question. I don’t bite, love. Unless you ask me to, that is.”

He punctuated the innuendo with a wink, and she rolled her eyes as she laughed. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?”

“I try.”

“So can you do it?”

“I don’t see why not. I don’t have any plans.”

“But isn’t this your busy time of year? I mean, with all the tourists around.”

He reached out and took her hand. “Not so much that I can’t take one day to support your career.”

Emma felt her jaw drop slightly, and her gaze flicked to where his thumb was caressing her knuckles. When he saw her expression, he quickly pulled his hand away and cleared his throat.

“I mean, that’s the whole reason for this arrangement, aye?”

“Right,” Emma said with a nod, “to save my career.”

Silence fell between them as they continued eating their soup. Emma drained her bowl with a sigh, almost embarrassed at how ravenously she had eaten.

“Did that hit the spot?”

“Definitely,” she replied, patting her stomach, “I just hope I don’t regret it later.”

“I’m sure if your appetite has returned that you’ll be fine. Besides, it was soup.”

She nodded, regarding him thoughtfully as he continued to leisurely eat his own dinner. “So,” she finally worked up the courage to ask, leaning her elbows on the table, “your half of the bargain was that I would casually help your brother out with his marriage. But from what I see, they’re fine.”

Now it was Killian’s jaw dropping as he paused his eating, spoon held in midair. Emma arched one brow at him.

“Well,” he finally said, resting his spoon on the table, “they do love each other tremendously, and Elsa’s good for Liam -”

“But?”

“But, there’s been some tension lately.”

Emma searched his face intently as she rested her chin on her clasped hands. She didn’t know why in the world he would lie about his brother needing her help, but it felt like he was grasping for words. “Tension?”

“Aye, tension. Elsa’s ready to start a family, you see, and Liam -”

“Doesn’t want kids?”

“No, no, it’s not that. He does. It’s just . . . he wants to be sure they’re ready. Financially speaking.”

“That’s wise. Having children isn’t something you do lightly.”

“And Elsa understands that, but she -”

Emma lifted a hand. “If you say anything about her biological clock, I might dump the rest of that soup over your head.”

His eyes widened at that. “Okay, I sense a touchiness -”

She gave him a withering glare. “I just don’t like women being treated like they have a shelf life, that’s all.”

Killian leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed, his brow furrowed. Uh-oh. “So you’re going to deny basic biology?”

“What basic biology?”

“That there are a certain number of years -”

“Choose your words very carefully, buddy.”

His hands dropped to the table, and she noticed that his hands were now clenched in fists. “All I’m saying is that Elsa’s waited the first five years of their marriage for something she wants deeply, and my brother is being way too practical. As usual.”

“You have to be practical - it’s a lifetime commitment!”

“But no one can ever be one hundred percent prepared!”

This had quickly gotten out of hand, both their voices rising slightly, and Emma wasn’t even sure where the conversation had gone off the rails. She took a deep breath and when she spoke again, she used her professional therapist voice.

“It’s a big decision that you shouldn’t rush into.”

Killian leaned across the table, his eyes flashing. “Or it’s something that scares you to death, scares the hell out of you actually because you never had a good example of what a father should be. So even though you want it more than you ever wanted anything, that fear holds you back. So you wait, then wait some more, until one day you’ve waited too long!”

He rose from the table then, so forcefully that the chair behind him flew backwards and wobbled, almost toppling over. Then Killian turned and left, the screen porch door slamming behind him as he headed down the beach.

Emma just sat there for a moment, processing what the hell just happened, and suddenly understanding dawned. She didn’t have a phD in psychology for nothing.

This had nothing at all to do with Elsa and Liam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian came to a dead stop halfway down the beach when he realized what he was doing. He leaned over his knees, taking big gulps of air. It wasn’t from the exertion of his run - he was in better shape than that - it was the sudden fear washing over him. How could he be this stupid twice? And Emma was just getting over being sick. What if she tried to follow him, got dizzy, and . . . and . . .

He couldn’t finish the thought. Instead, after one more deep breath, he raced back the way he had come. The fear was even worse when he saw how far he’d run. The house seemed so far away . . .

Finally, he slowed down right at the back of the house. In the distance, he saw Emma by the fire pit talking to Anna. Relief flooded through him, and he suddenly felt like he’d run a 10k in less than a minute. Once again, he was leaning over, bracing his hands on his knees. Emma turned towards him, but he couldn’t tell from here if she was angry or not. Then she turned back to Anna, gesturing in his direction. Anna nodded, then turned around and went back into the house.

Killian straightened as Emma drew closer. Her arms were crossed, holding a sweater around her frame, and the ocean breeze tugged at her hair. Even when she got close, her expression was unreadable.

“I’m sorry.”

Seemed as good a place as any to start.

She tilted her head at him. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t know.”

Killian blinked, then looked back over Emma’s shoulder at his brother’s house. He sighed, “Anna told you?”

Emma nodded, then her expression changed, and her eyes widened. “Wait - did you race back here because you were worried about me?”

Killian ran a hand wearily over his face. “It was just so eerily the same. A fight, me running off -”

Emma stopped his words with a gentle hand to his arm. “Her death wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just a senseless accident.”

“You don’t understand, Emma. We fought about . . . “ he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “We were renovating our house, on the other side of Storybrooke. We added on a new master suite, giving us three bedrooms instead of two, and then Milah suddenly starts referring to one of them as a nursery.” He turned to look out at the water, his hand raking through his hair. Emma said nothing.

“I always brushed her off with a joke or something. Finally, we talked about it, and I told her I wasn’t sure we were in a good place financially. The truth was, I was scared.”

“Of what?”

He turned to look into her green eyes. “Of failing. As a father. My dad left us when we were kids, you see, and . . . well, how was I supposed to know what a good father looked like?”

Emma just nodded. “I understand that fear.” She settled down in the sand and motioned for him to join her. He did, knowing she might still be weak from being sick.

Killian shook his head and sighed before continuing. “But it meant so much to her. Her first husband never wanted kids either, was really volatile about the issue, and it got to be a touchy subject between us.”

Emma said nothing, just looked at him with an expression that made him feel it was safe to go on. No wonder she was so good at her job.

“One day, we were in the middle of working on the house, and she confronted me about it, wouldn’t let me deflect. We ended up getting into a huge fight, and I took off in anger. Just like I did tonight.” He struggled to go on, lowering his head so she couldn’t see the tears starting to form.

“You don’t need to explain the rest if you don’t want to. Anna told me.”

“If I had been there, she might not have fallen off that ladder.”

“You don’t know that.”

“She might have lived.”

“Killian,” she said in a soft voice, “Anna told me what the coroner said. She broke her neck. Even if you had been there, you wouldn’t have been able to save her.”

He shook his head, clenching his jaw. “But she might not even have been on that ladder if I hadn’t taken off. She might have been more careful. She was probably so distracted . . . “

“Killian look at me,” Emma knelt down in front of him in the sand and took his face in her hands. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I was only gone for ten minutes. No one expects their life to change that much in ten minutes.”

Emma gave him an encouraging smile. She had also started to stroke his face, and he wondered if she even realized she was doing it.

“Exactly. Ten minutes. How could you have possibly known what would happen? You left for a few minutes to calm down. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I . . . I didn’t . . . it wasn’t my fault.”

Emma nodded. Liam had told him the same thing a thousand times. So had Elsa. And David. Yet for some reason, here on the beach with Emma’s soothing voice and gentle hands, the truth of it finally washed over him like the waves crashing against the shore. Something broke inside of him, and his head fell forward onto Emma’s shoulder. She wrapped one arm around him while she stroked his hair with her other hand. He waited for tears to come, for sobs to shake his body, but instead he felt lighter somehow. He supposed he’d shed an ocean of tears for Milah over the years, and nothing but a shaky sigh was left.

“She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself,” Emma told him.

He pulled back and took Emma’s hands in his. “You’re right. She wouldn’t.” He stared down at Emma’s hands for a minute, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. The sound of the ocean surrounded them, and he slowly breathed in the salty smell of it, then exhaled.

“Better?” Emma asked.

He nodded, feeling slightly sheepish all of a sudden. He rose to his feet and offered Emma a hand, which she took. Once she was up, he turned towards the house, but she didn’t relinquish his hand.

“You know,” he told her, “I never scheduled a session.”

She laughed. “Lucky for you I had an opening.”

“How much do I owe you?” he teased, bumping her hip.

“This one’s on the house, Jones.”

Despite their fight and the intense conversation on the beach, they spent the rest of the evening the way they normally did - on the couch with Netflix. Around eleven, Emma stretched and yawned.

“You’ve got me falling into the sleeping habits of an old man,” she told him, poking his leg with her toe.

“Hey, I may have a few years on you, but I’ve retained my youthful glow.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes as she rose from the couch, wrapping an afghan around her. “What about you?”

A yawn cracked his own jaw as he rubbed at his tired eyes. “I think I’m ready to turn this couch into my bed for the night.”

Emma chewed on her lower lip as she regarded him carefully. “Why don’t we just share the bed?”

He arched a brow at her. “Seriously?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, why not? I mean, we’re both adults.”

Killian rubbed at his jaw as he thought it over. He wouldn’t lie, he was sick of the couch. And as long she was comfortable with it . . .

“Come on,” Emma said, giving him a playful kick, “don’t make a big deal out of it. You know you miss sleeping in a real bed.”

“Well, if you’re sure -”

“One hundred percent.”

“Okay then.” He tossed aside the remote, got up, and followed Emma down the hall. She had already changed into her pajamas, so she brushed her teeth while Killian changed in the bedroom. He went ahead and slipped under the sheets and flipped off the light before Emma came in. Why was his heart pounding like a fifteen year old?

He heard Emma shut off the faucet and flip off the bathroom light. “Whoah, it’s dark!” Emma cried as she stepped into the room. “Why are you hiding? Do you sleep in the nude?”

“No,” Killian protested, “well, not totally. I mean, I’m wearing boxers.” Shut up, he reprimanded himself, you sound like a nervous idiot.

Emma swore under her breath as she tripped over something on her way to the bed. Knowing her, it was a pair of shoes. He felt the bed dip as she got in and wrapped herself up in the covers. He tried to make her out in the dark, but all he could see was her hair.

“Good night,” Emma whispered.

“Good night,” he whispered back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian was awakened the next morning because something was tickling his nose. It was Emma’s hair - spread all over her pillow and his. He brushed it out of his face as he rolled over. Emma was curled up on her side, her back to him. He took the opportunity to admire her creamy shoulders on display. One strap of her tank top had slipped, and the sight had him getting hard. He was just about to slip out of bed before she noticed how - er - excited he was to see her, when she suddenly rolled over to face him.

“Hey,” she said groggily.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice strained. He tried to inch farther away from her without making it obvious.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

He blinked. “Uh, why would I be embarrassed? Like you said last night, we’re adults.”

“Exactly,” Emma replied through a yawn. She arched her back and stretched both arms over her head, which definitely didn’t help his erection. “And I’m also an adult who counsels couples and has extensive knowledge of sexual physiology and psychology.”

“Are you bragging, Swan?”

“No. I’m just trying to explain why I understand your situation. After all, it’s extremely normal for a healthy man to wake up with an erection.”

She smirked at him as he coughed. He wished he had control over the red creeping up his cheeks. He quickly recovered, however, and winked at her.

“That confident that I’m happy to see you?”

She shrugged, that damn strap still teasing him. “Guess it’s good I’m not a cuddler, or there would be no doubt.”

“Oh trust me, love,” he told her, dropping his voice an octave, “when I jab you with my sword, you’ll feel it.”

Now she was the one blinking rapidly as a blush stained her cheeks. He laughed as he flung the sheets aside.

“Now look away, darling, unless you want an eyeful. My boxers have never been able to contain my prodigious manhood.”

She didn’t respond at first, and he chuckled again. But when he reached the door of the bathroom, his pillow hit him in the back of the head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharing a bed was changing Emma’s sleeping habits. She was getting up earlier for two reasons: one, she had lied to Killian. She apparently was a cuddler. Every morning her eyes flew open before the sun was up when her body sensed something warm, solid, and hairy beneath her cheek. She always extricated herself from his embrace before he woke up. Second, Killian had convinced her to ditch her treadmill and join him on his jogs. She had to admit, she looked forward to her morning workout more with the combination of the gorgeous setting, Smee’s encouragement, and Killian’s company.

He wasn’t chatty on the morning runs, for which she was grateful. She preferred getting in the zone when she exercised. However, they were talking over breakfast and coffee each day. Now that she was up earlier, she had time for more than a bagel as she dashed out the door. She could honestly say that they were friends now, and she enjoyed his company. She had hopes that things wouldn’t be weird after all this was over, and they could still hang out. Especially since they worked in the same building.

Emma was far more aware of the sounds coming from below her than she used to be (heavy metal music aside). She now knew the difference between the sound of the table saw versus the sander, for example, though both were faint by the time they reached her ears. Her clients probably didn’t even notice.

She also knew when he was meeting with a client. The sounds in his workshop ceased and the pleasant timbre of his voice drifted up through the vents. Not enough for her to eavesdrop, but enough to bring a smile to her face. He was talented at what he did, and she wanted him to succeed.

Right now, she could hear the buzz of his table saw as she listened to her current client talk about finally setting boundaries without apologies with the man she had just started dating. Emma was encouraged by her progress, and honestly proud of the young woman. When she first started seeing Emma, she was broken and filled with social anxiety after going through a very public breakup. It had taken a year for the woman to even accept a date from a man who had already proven himself as a good friend. Now, here she was speaking up for herself without apology.

“You know, Jasmine,” Emma told her, “I think you are at a very healthy place. How about we try meeting every six weeks instead of monthly?”

“Really?” the woman asked, beaming. “I think that would work. Does that mean I don’t need the citalopram anymore?”

“No, I think you should still take it. Talk it over with your doctor, but it’s a really safe medication, and ten milligrams a day is a very small dose. Besides, remember what I always say?”

“Medication is just another of my tools to help me cope and nothing to be ashamed of.”

Emma grinned. “Exactly.”

They both rose, and Emma showed Jasmine to the door at the top of the stairs. Over the brunette's shoulder, she saw Killian welcome in a smiling redhead. The woman flipped her hair over one shoulder as she laughed, then she laid a hand on Killian’s bicep. Killian smiled back, then - Emma’s breath caught - he reached up and scratched behind his ear! Emma’s lips pressed together in a thin line. That was his tell when he was nervous - usually sexually nervous. Emma barely heard Jasmine’s goodbye as her head spun. She leaned over to try and see the pair, but Killian led the redhead further into his shop and out of sight.

Emma went back into her office and started pacing in the small waiting area. Ariel! That was the woman’s name. Killian had made an arbor for her wedding to Eric, similar to the one he had made for her. Well, this Eric might want to know that his wife was flirting with other people’s husbands.

As soon as the thought entered her brain, Emma tried to put on her therapist hat and remind her subconscious that the woman’s red hair had triggered memories of Walsh’s infidelity with Zelena.

Her subconscious was hearing none of it.

Emma stilled her movements and cocked her head as she tried to make out the low voices from the first floor. Were they laughing again? The woman sure was smiling a hell of a lot.

Maybe she always smiles a lot. Therapist Emma tried to say.

Her subconscious ignored Therapist Emma.

Emma marched over to the floor vent near the door so she could hear better. All she could make out was Killian’s accent and Ariel’s more bubbly voice, but not what they were saying. She rolled her eyes and let out a huff of breath before getting down on her hands and knees. Wait, was that more laughter? She leaned closer, turning her ear to the vent and concentrating. She thought she heard Ariel say Killian’s name. In her mind’s eye, she saw her smiling brightly at him, flicking that unfairly beautiful shade of red hair over one shoulder, and gushing, “Oh Killian, you are just so funny.”

Emma snapped back to reality and realized that it had gone quiet. Why were they quiet all of a sudden? What were they doing? Emma’s ear was practically pressed to the vent at this point, and -

“What the bloody hell are you doing?”

Emma let out a strangled yelp as she jumped up from the floor. Killian was standing there in her doorway, looking at her with confusion etched on his brow and barely contained humor teasing the corners of his lips. She blinked and suddenly wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. She had been acting like a complete fool!

“Umm . . . I was . . . looking for something. What are you doing up here?”

He arched a brow at her and struggled to keep a smile at bay. “It’s lunch time. We were going to go over to Granny’s - remember? What did you lose?”

“Lose?”

“You said you lost something,” he said, gesturing to where she’d been on all fours like a dog.

“My earring,” she lied quickly, “I thought maybe it rolled into the vent.”

“Oh,” he said, “well let me help you -”

“No that’s okay!” she told him hurriedly. “I found it, see?” She held up an empty hand with the fingertips pinched together as if she were holding something, then she pretended to fiddle with her earring. Thank God she wore studs!

Killian arched a brow at her, then sauntered close. So close, his chest almost brushed hers. She had to tilt her head to look up at him. He leaned down, his lips almost brushing her ear.

“You mean this earring, love?” he purred. He reached up and caressed the ruby stud with his calloused fingers. “The one you were already wearing when you first stood up?”

He pulled back just enough so he could look her in the eye, and the sinful smile upon his face should have made her furious.

But it didn’t. Damn him, it almost made her melt into a puddle of goo on the floor.

HIs eyes scanned her face, and for one thrilling moment she thought he would kiss her. Kiss her with absolutely no one watching. But then he pulled back and walked backwards towards the door.

“You coming, love? Grilled cheese at Granny’s?”

“Uh . . . yeah,” she muttered.

Emma wanted a way to wipe that shit eating grin off his face, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it.

“Oh and Emma,” Killian said before she could head down the stairs, “Ariel was smiling and laughing because she and Eric need me to make them a cradle. For their new baby.”

His satisfied smile as he sauntered past her down the stairs made her want to kick him in the ass as hard as she could. Mostly. But another part of her was too busy being relieved about Ariel’s order.

[rohad93]

Sea Glass: ch 12

18+

When she woke the next morning Yellow was relieved to find that beneath the wet fabric, Blue's forehead was cool and her face was no longer flushed and contorted with fever.

Finally, the first sign of their turning fortune in days. She sighed in relief to herself that Blue seemed to be sleeping peacefully now, no longer plagued by fevered hysteria or fitful unconsciousness.

Greg came and checked on them several times during the day between his fieldwork, bringing food or a bucket of fresh stream water, Yellow still wasn’t sure what to think of him, but he certainly had his uses.  

She managed to keep the chain and cuffs hidden from him anytime he came by. He'd proven rather magnanimous so far, but there was no telling how he would behave if he knew who they were or even just that they were on the run, so Yellow was careful to keep her left arm and the chain hidden. While hiding one she, unfortunately, couldn’t hide the other, but he didn’t seem to know or maybe even take notice of the brand on her right arm. It was just as likely he simply didn’t know what it was.

He was still the least of her problems though. 

Though her fever was gone, Blue still didn’t show any signs of waking and Yellow frowned as she watched her sleep for two solid days now, barely moving. She continually forced water down her throat.

She knew that fevers like Blue’s could often do irrevocable damage to the mind. She’d seen it happen a lot as a kid,  If they didn’t outright die they sometimes weren’t the same afterward, slower; never really all there again.

Yellow stiffened at the idea but didn't let herself dwell on it. There was nothing to be done about it but wait and see once Blue finally woke up, however long that may take.

She gently turned the cuff around her wrist and winced when it came unstuck from the bloody and raw skin beneath. 

Every day it cut a little deeper into her skin, with no chance to breathe or heal any, she could already tell that it was going to scar when she finally got it off. 

Which couldn’t happen soon enough.

Yellow grumbled to herself as she picked at the flaking blood that had stained the metal, leaving a constant, biting, metallic smell to linger. Her wrist ached constantly now, but the worst of it happened whenever the metal was pulled tight against her wrist.   

It was early evening on the third day since Blue’s fever had broken, and the sun had started to set, long orange rays of light were pouring into the barn through the grimy and broken windows, casting long shadows across the floor and walls as the sun dipped out of sight, below the horizon. 

She squinted against the bright light as it shined directly on her face. She was in no mood for bright sunshine to be honest.

"Your face will stick that way…"

Yellow’s head whipped to the side so fast her neck cracked with the motion.

Blue was staring up at her from half-lidded eyes, one corner of her mouth twitched up.

"You're awake," Yellow's voice was low, almost in disbelief. "How do you feel?" 

"Like I got run over by a wagon…," she grumbled, but slowly started to set herself up, pushing the blonde’s jacket down to her waist. Yellow put a hand behind her back, keeping her stable.

"How long have we been here?" She ran a hand down her face, trying to rub away any lingering sleep.

“Four days”

Blue groaned at the answer. She felt so drained and despite all that time spent in unconsciousness, she was still tired, though she didn’t feel a fraction as deathly ill as she had before. 

In fact…

Her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, causing one of Yellow’s dark blonde eyebrows to canter upward as she looked at her.

She was starving. 

Without a word, Yellow picked up the half-eaten loaf of bread Greg had brought her earlier that day and held it out to Blue, who was quick to take it and start ripping off mouthfuls.

“You’ve been asleep for three days, slow down before you choke.” Yellow rolled her eyes. She hadn’t taken care of her all this time just for Blue to choke herself to death on a loaf of bread. 

Blue made a noise around her current mouthful but did slow down, if for no other reason then to drink from the cool water in the bucket at their side. 

Yellow watched her devour the bread within a few short minutes before sitting back against the stall wall with a sigh.

“That’s so much better,” she mumbled, closing her eyes. Yellow hummed.

"We need to get out of here," Blue said after a minute.

"You only just woke up after four days, can you even walk?" Yellow frowned at the idea. She was just as eager to be out of this place and out of their cuffs as Blue was, but she wasn't willing to risk further dangers by jumping right to it.

"I still feel weak…," she admitted. "But we've wasted too much time…" she frowned, opening her eyes and turning to Yellow. "If you'd cut me loose as I told you, you'd probably already be back on your ship…" she was frowning and staring at Yellow with a look she couldn't describe. Yellow pursed her lips. She could see an unspoken accusation in those bright cerulean eyes.

‘You care’

"You don't tell me what to do…," Yellow huffed, like a petulant child, turning away from Blue with a frown.

Blue chuckled at this.

Her levity was short-lived as the sound of footsteps made her jolt up, but Yellow recognized the gait.

“It’s alright,” she mumbled, covering their hands and the chain with her jacket.

“Hey, I found some…" Greg stopped when he saw Blue, sitting up and looking at him with wide  eyes. "Hey, you're awake!" He grinned brightly.

"This is Greg," Yellow introduced. "You’d probably be dead if not for him."

“Oh?” She blinked, turning to the young man. “I suppose I owe you my thanks then.” 

“You were in pretty rough shape, I had to help.” He planted a fist on his hip as he smiled down at her. 

“Aren’t you sweet.” Blue’s voice had that flirtatious lilt as she smiled that smile she was known for, one that was well reputed to bring men to their knees; making Greg flush brightly and Yellow frown deeply.

“Oh, uh…,” he laughed nervously, eyes flickering over to Yellow who was glaring at him with sharp amber eyes and he swallowed thickly. Neither noticed Blue looking at the blonde out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t mention it…,”he mumbled, looking anywhere but at the blonde, glaring holes straight through his head.

Blue’s flirtatious grin turned to one of smugness. 

“Everything alright?” She asked, turning to look at Yellow, but the tone was a knowing one that Yellow immediately pickled up on and felt the back of her neck grow hot. She grunted sourly in response. 

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, turning to look at the wall rather than either of them. Blue made another knowing noise that only further deepened Yellow’s frown.

“If you think you can walk we should leave at daybreak…” She turned, still frowning, to Blue, who nodded, and while she still had that smug smile on her face didn’t say anything more. She had learned the signs that meant Yellow was about to be tipped over the edge and now wasn’t the time to be prodding her.  

“Sure you're well enough?” Greg asked, face turning concerned. Blue still looked rather haggard to him.

“We’re on a time restraint and we’ve wasted too much time already.” Blue frowned, looking back up at his concerned face. 

“Where are you headed?” 

“To town, we need to get on a ship.” Yellow supplied.

“I can take you to town in the morning. I have to take some crops for sale anyway, You could ride in the back of the wagon, no problem,” Greg offered.

Blue and Yellow glanced at each other. That was certainly better than walking the last few miles to town, especially with Blue still weak, she needed to conserve her energy for when they had to steal a ship.

“That would be great, thank you, Greg.” Blue thanked him with a smile that was far more neutral and Yellow felt her ire simmer down.

“I’ll bring the wagon around at sun up so they don’t see you…” He glanced at Yellow, more specifically the bright blonde hair atop her head. Blue and Yellow both seemed to pick up on this, causing the blonde to frown again and Blue to giggle behind her hand. 

“I’ll see ya in the morning.” Greg gave a little wave and disappeared behind the stall wall, Yellow listened intently until his steps had faded from the barn.

They were so close to finally being out of this situation. Her wrist seemed to throb with this thought. 

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice Blue looking at her out of the corner of her 

Now that she wasn't inching her foot over the threshold of death's door, the last actual conversation she and Yellow had was once again brought to the forefront of her mind.

She still didn't know what to say to Yellow, she hadn't really had any time to think about it before all thought had been toward her flagging health. 

Something else that would have to be pushed back for now. Maybe something that really wouldn't need to be brought up again if Blue could help it. 

~ ~ ~

At sunrise a rickety wooden wagon pulled by an equally rickety gray horse pulled up in front of the barn, with Greg holding the reins.

Yellow had explained the night before that he didn't know who they were, nor any of the particulars of their situation, and Blue agreed that it would be better if they didn't tell him. 

With her coat slipped back on over her now sleeveless shirt, they wrapped the excess chain around their arms and stood close, if Greg thought their proximity was strange as they loaded into the back of the wagon between the bales of hay he didn't say anything about it.

The trip into town was bumpy and rattled the two of them around relentlessly on the pothole infested dirt road. The constant movement made their cuffs rattle and rub against their skin.

Yellow gritted her teeth and held her tongue. They were nearly there, she had to endure the constant sharp pain the cuff caused only a little while longer.

Blue seemed to be of the same mind, that and she was still slightly out of it after being unconscious for so long. Her strength was still trying to return and she needed it if they were going to steal and sail a boat themselves.

Blue peeked over the hay bales as they rolled into town, from what he could see so far, there didn’t seem to be any royal navy presence in this town, not that she could see, she also didn’t see any wanted posters, not for the two of them at least. 

Hopefully this would be painless and they could head straight for the Grenada port where her sister should be waiting on The Menagerie.

Greg slowed to a stop on the road that ran along the docs and the two wasted no time climbing out. 

"We appreciate all you've done for us, Greg." Blue smiled up at him. Yellow nodded in agreement.

"Ah, don't mention it." He grinned. "Take care!" He waved as he spurred the horse on again.

They waited until the wagon had vanished from sight before heading down toward all the boats, sitting tied to the docks. 

"He was sweet…," Blue said and Yellow made a noise in her throat Blue knew to be a sound of acknowledgment.

They moved down the docks, inspecting the ships. Most far too big for the two of them to sail themselves. 

"There…" Yellow nodded toward the end of the dock, and tied to it was a small catboat. At fourteen feet long it would take a little longer then normal to sail to Grenada, and left them open to attack on the open sea, but it was the only thing the two of them could possibly operate tethered together. 

They shared a look before making their way over to it, Yellow palming the knife in her coat pocket.

[thelooseleaflibrary]

‘Of fresh bread and kind innkeepers’

His fingers pinched the two coins in his pocket together. The sharp, metallic click they made as they caught against one another was a welcome distraction against the knot kept taut in his stomach. He hadn’t eaten in days and every movement was a reminder.

‘And what will it be?’ came a gruff voice, as crumbled as roadside rocks.

Alwin looked up. On the other side of the bar the innkeeper looked down at him. Slate grey hair held loosely against his head running down to his shoulders, a stark contract against his pale, lined skin. As the innkeeper spoke, all too familiar smells greeted Alwin; ash, yeast, stale beer. He kept himself from openly drooling.

Alwin pulled his hand out of his pocket and let the two coins snap against the hard wood of the bar. He brought his fingers away from the coins, letting his hands rest hesitantly against the bar’s edge. It was all he could do to stop from wringing them. Slowly the innkeeper slid the coins toward himself.

All of the muscles in Alwin’s bode tightened, screaming at him. It took every bit of his willpower not to grab the innkeepers wrist, to pry them open and take the coins back, to run, to run, to run. 

That was all the money Alwin had left in the world, seeing the innkeeper hold them in his hands was like seeing another man with his arm around your wife’s waist. The innkeeper looked from the coins to Alwin, his eyebrow raised. He was asking a question.

‘What can I get with that?’ Alwin asked, sounding calmer than he felt.

The innkeeper rubbed the two coins between his thumb and forefinger. The click they made eased Alwin slightly.

‘I can do you some bread, fresh made. We’ve got warm butter and ...’ 

The innkeeper trailed off. He stroked his chin looking at the coins, then his gaze wandered to Alwin. He looked him up and down, no doubt a sorry sight with his tattered clothes and matted hair.

‘And ale, too. Yesterday’s barrel, if it pleases.’

Alwin’s lower lip trembled slightly, the thought of fresh bread was almost too good to hope for. He managed a small nod. The innkeeper swiftly pocketed the coins, turned on his heels and wandered into the kitchen.

As the innkeeper busied himself over bread and butter all Alwin could hear was his heart beating in his chest. Thankfully it was a quiet day at the inn, only Alwin sat inside. He preferred it that way; no one here to hassle him, confront him, see the whites of his knuckles and the fear in his eyes.

After what could have been twenty minutes or twenty hours, the innkeeper walked back to the bar, his hands full. He placed down a small loaf of bread, a small plate of butter and a large wooden mug of amber ale. Alwin’s eyes stayed transfixed on the bread, eyes wide. 

Before he could reach for the it, the innkeeper raised a hand over the bar and upturned it. Two square dull silver coins rattled against the bar coming to rest near Alwin’s hands. He looked up at the innkeeper.

‘We don’t take Empish coins, I’m afraid,’ the innkeeper said, nodding toward the coins.

The innkeeper leaned forward. He took the coins and placed them in Alwin’s hand, closing his fingers around them. Alwin could feel the warm metal in his hands, the comforting weight they made. 

The innkeeper rested his own hand on top of Alwin’s closed fist. He smiled a gentle smile before pushing the plate of bread toward Alwin.

‘We also don’t sell old ale or stale bread. S’only fair you take it off my hands, seein’ as you had me make it.’

Alwin looked at the innkeeper. He could feel the beginning of hot tears welling in his eyes, a tight lump forming in his throat. He’d forgotten what it was like to have someone treat you with anything close to kindness. What it was like to be treated like an equal.

Alwin wiped his eyes dry and looked up at the innkeeper, but he was already in the kitchen. The sound of his trilling whistles broken only by the slaps of kneading dough. 

He looked back down at the bread. Steam rose like sheets of silk in the light, bringing wiht them waves of a gently heat. With a trembling hand, Alwin rapped his knuckled against the small loaf. The bread was hard and hollow, the sound echoed through his body. 

With two thumbs he pushed against the loaf, the crack of the crust breaking was sharp and sure. The smell was intoxicating, the warm aroma filled his lungs. All composure and apprehension had fled as Alwin’s ravenous hunger took over.

He cracked the loaf in half, grabbing a large dollop of velvety smooth butter, thickly lathering the soft white bread. As he bit into it he couldn’t help but laugh. The hard crust shattered between his teeth, the warm, salted butter coated his mouth as it soaked into the chewy, pillowed loaf.

His first bite done, Alwin’s hand shot out to the large wooden mug. Ale poured down his chin, soaking his clothes and wetting his beard. He didn’t care, it was fresh, light and tasted vaguely of fruit and hops.

[pastryfiends]

🍔 STR

Strength's friend secretly wants her to become massive. She offers her some food, and before long she begins stuffing her with brownies until Strength has blimped up over 590 lbs heavier than before. It mostly goes to her thighs and it's adorable to see her trying to move. She seems embarrassed, but her new, larger ass turns her on!

=

   “C’mon! This next batch will be perfect!” 

“Maaaato...we’ve been at thish for-mmmph-hooursh…”

Hours was probably an understatement. Kuroi Mato’s kitchen was awash in various remnants of brownie batter ingredients, despite her best efforts to try and keep it somewhat clean. The raven-haired basketball player had spent all day, cooking brownie batch after brownie batch, all for a simple yet dastardly plan:

To make Strength as fat as she possibly could. 

To that end, she had researched how to make the best brownies and cobbled together some spare change to buy a set of shady weight gaining supplements that said they were meant for athletes to build muscle and bulk for sports, only to use all of it making the most fattening brownie batches on the face of the planet. The results were extremely gratifying as she pushed another of the calorie-packed chocolate bombs between Strength’s caramel lips, a groan issuing from the tanned butterball as she felt her body swell up even more. 

The white-haired girl had grown absolutely massive during Mato’s brownie-making scheme, coming in at a comparatively tiny two hundred pounds and wearing the biggest uniform available from their school(already fit to pop the buttons of her blazer), and ending up a seven hundred and ninety-pound behemoth, astonishingly colossal for a girl her height and even more absurd when taking in the amount of time involved. Thick, bloated feet wriggled out of exploded loafers, socks gobbled up by turgid cankles topped by sunken knees and colossal thighs that could easily be mistaken for casks, cinched firmly together by their sheer girth and more than wide enough to crush a family couch. 

Her skirt was gone, eaten by her expanding waistline, while a mammothic mountain of caramel spilled from her middle towards the floor, a cavernous navel a favorite foothold for Mato to tease Strength with as she was forced to clamber over her extremely plush front. Her blazer had long popped off, her shirt not far behind as a few buttons held in her swollen cleavage, each breast as large as a watermelon and practically ready to rip the front of the white shirt off with their combined mass. A blossoming neck tire had shorn her ribbon tie, bunched up against pillow-like upper arms stacked on top of loaf-thick lovehandles, providing a luxurious cradle for her pumpkin-shaped face as Mato continued to feed her ever more.

But her rump was truly the greatest sight to behold, each cheek almost two thirds as large as her belly and perfectly round and ripe, two gigantic beanbags of mocha still swelling fatter and fatter while inching towards the floor. She was only standing thanks to her immense supernatural strength, and could probably keep standing or walking for many more hundreds of pounds, but standing for this long while ballooning outwards was certainly taking a toll on her. Another brownie was offered by Mato, and as she chomped down into its thick, gooey center, Strength shivered as her gargantuan body lurched outwards again, skin creaking with added poundage as she crept towards the half-ton mark. 

Maybe if her ass hit the wall, Mato would stop…Or maybe she’d just let her blow through it and into the living room.

[kitsunix]

Title: Who Likes Gherkins?

Chapter: 2/???

Fandom: Scream Street

Pairing: BatShift (Resus Negative/Dixon Sneer), one-sided Shifting Sands (Dixon Sneer/Cleo Farr), one-sided Blood Magic/Magical Blood (Luella Everwell/Resus Negative)

Characters: Resus Negative, Dixon Sneer, Cleo Farr, Luke Watson, Luella Everwell, Dr. Skully, Otto Sneer, NoName, Farp, Eefa’s Bat (mentioned)

Rating: T (for somewhat suggestive content)

Summary: In which Resus notices a pattern, and all signs point to his troubles having only just begun.

Word Count: 3603 words

A/N: Finally, after eight months of writer’s block and struggling with this nebulous mess of a chapter, Chapter Two of Who Likes Gherkins? is up! Apologies for the delay; hopefully the remaining chapters are nowhere near as difficult. ^^; Enjoy!

At first everything seemed normal. Wake up, go to school, go to Eefa’s, put up with the mayor’s bat guano… the usual routine. It was like that whole incident with the cloak never happened.

Oh, but that would imply fate was being kind to Resus… and it’s never been inclined to do that.

***

“Resus, are you sure you’ve added enough sugar? I don’t think you’ve passed the saturation point yet.”

Resus rolled his eyes at Cleo’s comment as he added another spoonful of sugar to his double hot chocolate with marshmallows. “If you can name me one thing that wouldn’t benefit from a little more sugar, I’d like to hear it.”

Cleo shook her head and took a sip of her own hot chocolate. Luke, who was sitting beside her, had already downed half of his.

They heard Eefa’s bat squeak, and Dixon walked into the store and over to the shelves, grabbing a shopping basket on his way. Luke and Cleo barely spared him a glance before returning to the topic at hand.

“I dunno, Resus, I think this hot chocolate’s great the way it is,” Luke said as he took another enthusiastic gulp. “And you said Luella made this?”

“Hm?” Resus’ attention was drawn away from where Dixon was pulling various small jars off the shelf and back to his friends. “Oh. Oh yeah, it’s one of her specialties.”

“Hmm, I wonder why that is…” Cleo smirked, raising an eyebrow at Resus, who cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I’m gonna order another one. How about you guys?” With that, Luke polished off the rest of his mug.

“I’m barely a third of the way through. And I don’t think Resus is finished seasoning his, yet.”

“Shows what you know,” Resus snarked as he finally took a sip.

“Which is just about everything.” Cleo watched as Resus added one more spoonful of sugar to his hot chocolate, then took another sip.

“There. Now it’s perfect.”

As Luke and Cleo chuckled to themselves, Dixon strolled past their booth on his way to the door, carrying a full bag of purchases in one arm. His other hand trailed lazily across the tabletop, starting near Luke and Cleo’s side of the table and ending at Resus’, before he passed them completely and went out the front door.

The trio was left in confused silence.

“So…” Luke finally broke the silence. “… is anybody gonna ask what that was about?”

“Beats me.”

“I have no idea.”

***

“Thank you, Farp, for your… enlightening project on the effect certain foods have on a goblin’s digestion system,” was the weary comment from Dr. Skully as he opened a window for some fresh air. The rest of the class were either holding their noses or waving the air in front of their faces.

Farp bowed to the class with one last toot, and carried his one-page essay, chart, and bowl half-filled with garlic (for once Resus was glad not to be a vampire), cheese, (raw) brussels sprouts, a half-eaten loaf of bread, and an empty can of beans to his seat in the back of the class.

“Next up is… Dixon, and his project on the biological mechanics behind a shape-changer’s… shape-changing, as it were.” Dr. Skully sat back in his seat, already bringing out his red pen.

As Dixon strolled past his desk to the front of the class, Resus noticed in his hand another single-page essay… one with words covering only half the page. Facing the class, Dixon made a big show of standing up straight and clearing his throat, as if he were the President of G.H.O.U.L. himself, ready to give a speech, even giving his “essay” a shake to straighten it out. Resus couldn’t help but smirk…

“Now, I’m gonna make this quick, so some of you don’t enjoy the view too much…”

And for a brief second, his eyes met Resus’, before returning to the essay he obviously hadn’t memorized.

Resus blinked. Did he just…? He didn’t just say what he thought he said… did he? Resus felt the blood rising to his cheeks and was thankful for the white makeup he always wore to look paler than he really was.

No. No, no, no, it was nothing. It had to have been nothing… he was just getting paranoid, that whole thing with the cloak this past weekend had him seeing things that weren’t there. He was overreacting…

Before long, it was time for Resus to deliver his own project on the relationship between vampires and bats, including how they were able to change into bats specifically. As he began reading his essay aloud, he couldn’t help but look over at Dixon in what he hoped was a subtle manner.

Not that it mattered… Dixon wasn’t even paying attention to him or his project, which was admittedly normal for him. Almost as if that little comment really didn’t mean anything, or indeed was even referring to him. Instead, he was tossing a crumpled piece of paper at the back of Cleo’s head, then feigning innocence when she turned around to glare at him. Once she turned her attention to the front of the class again, he propped his chin in his hand and sighed dreamily…

“Resus, if you could continue?”

Resus was brought back to Earth by Dr. Skully’s sharp reminder (and the muffled snickers of the other students, except maybe Luella), and he glanced down at his essay to see it had been crumpled by him gripping it too tightly. Huh. How did that happen…?

***

The song had no lyrics yet—all he had was a melody. Or at least, the beginnings of a melody. He knew the emotions he wanted his song to convey, and he was trying to express them through the strumming of his guitar. Trying random chords until he struck one that resonated with him. Put them into a pattern… then put his emotions to paper.

That’s what he was doing before a slow clap interrupted him. He turned towards the doorway…

“GAH! How did you get in my room?! What are you doing in my house?!”

Dixon ducked the sneaker thrown at his head. “Your dad tried to fix the sink again and your mom wasn’t taking any chances. Anyway, your shower isn’t leaking blood anymore. You’re welcome for that.”

“That still doesn’t answer the question of what are you doing in my room?!”

“I heard a racket and came to make sure a screech owl wasn’t being tortured. Animal abuse is worth a hefty fine.”

Resus could almost hear the steam coming out of his ears. “Get out of my room!”

Dixon put a hand to his chin in mock contemplation. “Hmm… nah. Gotta do something while your parents test all the water fixtures in the house. And NoName isn’t the best company. Besides… we’ve got stuff to talk about.”

Resus huffed, before deliberately focusing his attention back on his guitar. “Well, that makes one of us, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really~?” Dixon leaned casually against the doorframe, arms crossed and that smirk on his face. “So, we’re just gonna ignore that picture you took of me?”

“Yup.” Resus started tuning his guitar. “I took pictures of everyone on that field trip. I had a new camera. Yours wasn’t special.”

“Your cloak would beg to differ.”

Resus faltered for a second, before forcing himself to continue tuning. “My cloak was just having a laugh at my expense. I think you’ve noticed it has a mind of its own.”

"I noticed. And you said only Negatives can use it… sounds to me like Bram wants me in the family!"

“Bram, wh—” Resus stopped tuning altogether and stared incredulously at Dixon. “You named my cloak?!”

Dixon shrugged. “What? He looked like a Bram. And he’s part of this family, too~”

“Shut up. You are not part of this family.”

“Not yet~”

“Not ever. The cloak doesn’t know what it’s talking about!”

“So, you admit it’s seeing a connection here.” Dixon’s near-constant smirk now held a glimmer of triumph. Resus growled and returned to tuning his guitar… only for the string to snap. Resus clenched his teeth, barely holding in his anger.

“There’s no connection here!” As he spoke, he reached into his cloak for a spare guitar string. “I had a new camera! We were at the beach! I wanted to remember this fun time I had with my friends!”

“And… my bare chest was part of that ‘fun time’?” Dixon pointed to Resus’ hand, which held not a new guitar string, but the topic of their discussion, the photograph that seemed destined to ruin his life.

“Nonononono, I—where did you get your chest? That’s not the focus here at all, in fact there is no focus, it was just… it was a good shot, okay? That’s why I took the picture. That’s it.”

“Oooor you took that picture because it lasts longer, and you wanted to savor this toned, handsome body~” Dixon purred, gesturing to said body.

“I—NO.” Resus choked out. “THAT’S—YOU—WHAT BODY?!”

"I never knew you felt that way about me~"

"I DON'T, I HATE YOU!"

"I'm flattered~ Though I can’t help but wonder what your friends had to say when they rescued you! I’m sure you had a lot of explaining to do…"

“There was nothing to explain! All you did was steal my cloak!”

"Aw, you didn't tell them about your deep, passionate lov-"

Resus leapt to his feet, his other sneaker clutched firmly in his hand. “That’s it! Out of my room! Out, out, OUT!”

Dixon held his hands up in mock surrender. “All right, all right, I’m going… gotta get paid, after all… but if I were you, I’d take a look at your amp, make sure everything’s working all right. Unless you were trying to sound like an angry owl.” He winked and shut the door behind him, just in time for Resus’ sneaker to bounce harmlessly off of it.

***

What Dr. Skully had been hoping would be an educational field trip to Lake Nessie to study—and potentially spot—the elusive Lake Nessie Monster had turned into a regular trip to the beach. Cleo was sunbathing, Luella was using her magic to build sandcastles…

… and Resus and Luke were engaged in the chicken fight to end all chicken fights, against Dixon and Farp.

Resus was sure Luke was having a hard time putting up with Farp’s flatulence in the water, but he couldn’t really think about that. Not while he was trying to overpower Dixon, or more accurately, trying to prevent Dixon from overpowering him. Dixon was stronger than Resus was, even without the shapeshifting, so Resus was relying more on Luke’s werewolf strength to win this chicken fight. He just had to keep the other boy at bay long enough…

Which was easier said than done. With Resus and Dixon right in each other’s faces as they pushed against each other, Resus was close enough to see every drop of water dripping from Dixon’s wet hair, sliding over his smooth skin, his lean muscles flexing as they exerted themselves. It was strangely… distracting… enough for Resus not to notice the huge wave of water rising up behind him until it crashed over them both, washing them up on shore.

When the wave receded, Resus found himself staring up at a smug and sopping wet Dixon, who was straddling his waist, pinning his wrists down beside his head. Everyone and everything around them faded away… it was just the two of them…

Dixon smirked, cocking his head to one side. “Looks like I win, Resus~ What’s my prize~?”

Resus couldn’t answer. His eyes were darting every which way, but Dixon was all he saw. His slick wet skin, his heaving chest, the way his swim trunks clung to his strong legs… Resus’ gaze eventually landed on Dixon’s sparkling green eyes, which were looking at him in a way they never had before. He couldn’t put a finger on that look, but whatever it was, he… liked it …

“Oh! I have an idea~” And with that, Dixon started to lean in closer to Resus’ face. Resus’ breath caught, before his eyes slipped closed, waiting for the touch of Dixon’s lips against his…

Resus shot up in bed, his heart racing a mile a minute. His mind caught up with him, and his face flushed furiously. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it, before throwing it down and pointing at his cloak.

“YOU DID THIS!”

***

Dixon was chatting idly with Farp in the back of the class when Resus stormed up to his desk and slammed both hands down on it.

“I hope you’re happy!” he hissed, before marching to his own desk in the front row, leaving a bewildered Dixon in his wake.

***

What was Otto thinking?!

No, seriously, at what point did he think building a giant, half-mechanical Frankenstein’s monster was a good idea? What was his endgame here? He already had NoName as muscle… and Dixon could turn into NoName if he needed double the muscle. Why was all this necessary?!

Now both sides were taking cover while the appropriately named “Ottostein”—though Resus personally would’ve gone with “Frankensneer”—went on a rampage in the town square, in the middle of a raging lightning storm, no less. It had already smashed its way out of Sneer Hall, much to Otto’s chagrin, and was throwing around anything it could get its hands on that wasn’t bolted down.

“Otto!” Luke yelled over the roars of the monster. “How do we stop it?!”

“How am I supposed to know?!”

“It’s your creation!” Cleo yelled back, already tying one of her bandages around a piece of debris in case they needed a grappling hook.

“Yes, but I didn’t build the thing! I just brought it to life!” Otto and Dixon ducked a thrown crate; it smashed harmlessly on the sturdy NoName. “How would you stop an out of control werewolf?!”

“Why you--!” And now Resus and Cleo had to try to rein in Luke’s inner wolf before they had two creatures of pure rage on their hands. Thanks, Otto.

“There’s some wires on the back of its neck!” Dixon chimed in. “They’re connected to a battery—if you cut the wires, it’ll turn off!”

Resus stared at Dixon in disbelief and, admittedly, a little awe. He built the creature…? Judging from his friends’ silence, they were on the same page. And Luke’s snapped out of his anger. That’s good.

“… Well, of course!” Otto blustered. “Why else would we need electricity to bring it to life?”

“Never mind!” Cleo yelled. Resus could already see a plan forming in her mind. “Luke! You and NoName get the arms! Dixon!”

Dixon perked up. “Y-yes?”

“Can you turn into something that will hold its legs?”

“Of course, Cleo~” Dixon looked downright smitten, and there was the strange clench in his stomach again, what was that?

“I’m gonna give Ottostein a good old-fashioned mummy makeover!” Cleo declared, snapping the bandage-turned-makeshift grappling hook taut. “That’ll buy you time for the most important job of all, Resus!”

“Hold it! You can’t just order my minions around!” Otto snapped. There was a pause. “Dixon! NoName! Help the freaks restrain that beast! They need all the help they can get taking it down. Me, I’ll… I’ll supervise!”

Cleo rolled her eyes before continuing. “Resus, when I give the signal, you and that cloak of yours cut the wires!”

“But it almost never works—"

“It will this time! Because when you’ve really needed it, your cloak always pulled through! So, don’t worry—” She placed a reassuring hand on Resus’ shoulder. “You’ve got this!”

“Uh, Cleo, hate to interrupt this motivational speech, but Ottostein’s ripped the door off of Everwell’s Emporium—!" Luke pointed to said establishment, where Luella’s startled screams could be faintly heard over the pounding rain.

“Then let’s move!”

With a roar akin to that of his werewolf form, Luke leapt over the wall that served as their shelter, focusing his anger into his arms to summon his werewolf strength. NoName lumbered over to join him as fast as he could, each latching onto one of the creature’s arms. As the creature roared in fury and tried to throw either of its super-strong opponents off, Dixon scurried over to the struggle undetected in the form of a mouse, before morphing into a pair of sturdy shackles, already locked around the creature’s ankles.

As soon as Ottostein was restrained, Cleo leapt into action, winding her bandages around the creature’s midsection to pin its arms to its sides. Ottostein growled and tried to kick her, only to almost trip itself. With the others preoccupied with holding the monster still, only Resus noticed Ottostein focus exclusively on trying to break Dixon’s hold on its ankles.

‘That thing’s smarter than it lets on,’ Resus realized with growing horror, right before the greenish chain holding the shackles together snapped, and Dixon—very quickly shifting back into himself—was flung from the creature’s feet with a scream of pain.

As Dixon staggered to his feet, his back to the chaos, Ottostein stomped on NoName’s foot, breaking his grip on its arm, and despite Luke and Cleo’s best efforts to hold it back, it managed to rip said arm out of the bandages, finally grab something that was bolted down—a lamppost—and tear it out of the ground, preparing to swing it at Dixon’s head.

“DIXON, GET DOWN!” Resus launched himself over the wall and tackled Dixon out of the way. He heard the lamppost smash into the ground behind them as they rolled over the wet pavement, ending with Resus on top of Dixon, who stared up at him in shock.

Resus realized how it must’ve looked seconds before Dixon’s shock morphed into a mischievous grin. “Aww, Resus… you do care~”

Resus shoved him. “Get off!”

“Actually, you’re on top of me, I should be telling you to get off…” Dixon’s grin broadened. “Or have you already?”

Resus screamed, giving Dixon one last harsh shove before scrambling off of him. He resisted the urge to kick him for good measure.

“Resus!”

Cleo’s cry drew Resus’ attention to the town square—NoName had regained his grip on Ottostein’s arm, Luke was still holding back the other arm, and Cleo had rewrapped her bandages around the creature’s midsection, and was using them to help hold it back.

“You all right, mate?” Luke grunted.

“Ugh… fine.” Resus shot a glare at Dixon, who was back on his feet and dusting himself off, a deceptively innocent—yet still smug—smile on his face. “Just peachy…”

“Then hurry up and cut the wires! We can’t hold it much longer!” Cleo yelled.

“Right!” Resus reached into his cloak. “C’mon, cloak, give me something that can cut…” He pulled out a sheet of paper. “Not a papercut! Gimme some scissors!” What he got was a pair of child’s safety scissors. “Come on, cloak, this is an emergency! Give me something that can do some damage!” He reached in again, this time pulling out a water pistol. “Seriously?!”

“Do you want me to try?”

“NO!” Resus snapped at Dixon. “I can do this! I don’t need you to get my cloak to work! I—”

“RESUS, LOOK OUT!”

Luke and Cleo’s shouts were the only warning he got before he felt the creature’s arm swipe him into a nearby wall. As he faded from consciousness, he heard a very familiar howl…

***

“Resus! Resus, are you all right?”

Resus reawakened to find Luella leaning over him, holding his hand with concern. A cursory glance told him he was lying on a cot in Everwell Emporium.

“Oh, thank goodness! You’re all right!”

Resus groaned and pushed himself into a semi-sitting position, letting go of Luella’s hands to rub his head. “Ugh… what happened…?”

“You were attacked by Otto’s monster.” Luella clenched her hands into fists. “Horrible thing… it got exactly what it deserved for trying to hurt you.”

The memories came flooding back to Resus, just in time for Luke and Cleo to run in.

“Resus!”

“You had us worried there!”

“Then I obviously look better than I feel.” Resus winced. “What happened with Ottostein?”

Cleo smirked. “Ottostein made a big mistake attacking you—Luke turned full wolf. After that, it was no match for us.”

Luke awkwardly rubbed his arm. “I don’t remember a lot… but Cleo told me she was able to finish bandaging up our not-so-little friend.”

“But how did you take him out?” Resus asked. “The cloak didn’t give me any wire cutters…”

“It… shorted out. It must’ve been all the rain…” Cleo frowned in contemplation. “I wish I knew more, but I was so focused on holding Ottostein still, and keeping an eye on Luke—”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s no problem. I just… I wish I’d thought of that! But cutting the wires seemed more straightforward…”

“The important thing is, everything’s all right now!” Luke grinned. “And the best part is, Otto still has to patch up that monster-shaped hole in his wall!”

Resus stared at his friends for a long while, before snapping out of it and plastering a smile on his face. “Oh! That… that’s great!”

“We should probably tell your parents you’re up, they’ve been worried sick. Come on, Luke!” Cleo grabbed Luke’s arm and pulled him out of the room, Luella following after one last glance back at Resus, who hung his head once everyone left.

“You didn’t need me at all…”

[ihaveadoptedeveryoneonthissite]

chapter 5 (plagiarizing is bad)

That Night

Rose peeked over the edge of the crow’s nest. Captain James was still there, grinning up at her, eating an apple. “You know, this is a really good apple, are you sure you don’t want one?” Rose did want one, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She glared at him. “I’m not hungry.” She said defiantly. “Suit yourself!” She sat back down and let out a frustrated sigh, how could she get food without giving up her position? She decided to wait, he had to fall asleep eventually.

Later

Rose Whitlock looked down. Yes! He was asleep, she could finally sneak down and get some food and water. She stealthily climbed down, landing on the deck like a cat. She crept down the stairs to the galley. She saw a loaf of bread on the counter. Perfect! She reached toward it. Without warning a hand grabbed her wrist. Someone spun her around to face him. Of course. “You know, for someone so stubborn, you lack subtlety. You’re very predictable.” James said. Rose attempted to stop on his foot, but he danced out of the way, keeping a hold on her wrist. He tsked, “You should learn when you are caught. Why don’t we talk in my cabin?” “I’m not going anywhere with you!” “You don’t have a choice,” He said, all merriment gone, “We are running out of time.” He pulled her up onto the deck, and across to his cabin. He shut the door behind them. “Sit down. We need to talk.” Rose sat down and eyed him warily. “What do you want with me?” He sighed, and leaned against his desk, “I’m sorry for being so rough with you, I just didn’t know how else to deal with you. You already know the truth about Pan. Don’t try to lie to

me about that, I heard Pan telling his fairy to search for you, and that he didn’t care if she hurt you. Which means you found out; how did you find out? Rose took a deep breath, no point lying now, “I saw him kill Chief, a six-year-old lost boy. It was my fault. Peter found out that he was growing up, because I said he was growing out of his clothes. He stabbed him… it… it’s my fault.” She broke down in tears. Letting out the sobs she had been holding in for so long. James’s face softened, “Hey, no, don’t blame that on yourself. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know that he was a monster, you had no way of knowing, he’s devious. Trust me, I know.” Rose looked at him, wiping tears from her face, stifling sobs, “What?” “I was a lost boy, when I was seven, I came to the island, Peter was kind to me. I was an orphan on the streets, Peter invited me to live with him. Adventures, a warm home, mermaids, friends, it sounded like a paradise, so, naturally I went with him. “I lived the life of a lost boy until I was 8, another boy, Tiger, was also growing.” I was hunting in the forest with Tiger. We separated so we could sneak up on a rabbit. I was hiding near the hole, so I could grab it when it ran. Tiger’s job was to scare it, so it would run towards me. But when Tiger ran out, an arrow hit him in the throat. Then, Peter landed in front of him, the rabbit ran past me, but I didn’t care. “Peter killed him, and he was going to kill me next, but since Tiger and I weren’t supposed to be hunting together that day, he thought I was on the other side of the island, so I didn’t die. I ran and hid. Throughout the years, I’ve collected other lost boys. We’ve made a crew.” Rose was stunned, “What about the boys you make walk the plank, there’s no excuse for that.” “Ah, but there is, have you noticed that we always have them walk the plank in the same spot? Near Skull Rock is a portal back to earth. We send the boys home. Those who wish to stay, because they feel they have no life back on earth anymore, join our crew. Our mission is to stop Pan.” Rose was stunned, but the story made sense. Why the only one they ever seemed to want to kill was Peter, why they only kidnapped lost boys, and didn’t kill them in battle. “How can I know you’re telling the truth?” She asked. “There’s no way to prove my words short term. You’ll just have to trust me. Now, here’s the real question: Do you want to go home, or do you want to sail with us?” Rose took a deep breath, “Can I think about it? Please?”

James smiled gently, “Of course, you’ve had a long day, we have a spare cabin, would you like to sleep there?” “Yes, please, but first, can I eat?” “Oh, yes, of course, where are my manners! I’m afraid Cook is asleep, so we can’t get you anything particularly fancy, but I’m sure I can find something, wait here. Drink this while I’m gone.” He unhooked a canteen from his belt and handed it to her. “I want that to be gone before I come back, you haven’t had much to drink in the past two days, have you? Thought not, drink all of the water in there.” He then left the cabin. Rose unscrewed the cap from the canteen. She sniffed the contents, smelled normal. She poured a drop onto her tongue. Heavenly! After two days without water, it felt as though she was drinking from a mountain spring, despite the water being room temperature, with a metallic taste. She drank the entire canteen in no time. She was just drinking the last few drops when the pirate captain came back with a basket full of food. “Hey, are you feeling better? I hope so. I brought food.” He started setting cheese, bread, apples, grapes, and some dried meat on his desk. He placed some of each on a tin plate and handed it to Rose Whitlock. Rose ate it all, she didn’t care about the toughness of the meat, or the staleness of the bread. That’s what hunger will do to you. It will make the saddest meal in the world taste like a king’s feast. James laughed, “Wow, you really wanted that, huh?” Rose rolled her eyes, and wiped her lips, “Give me a break, I haven’t eaten in two days.” “We have plenty would you like some more?” James asked, as he sat down at his desk, across from Rose. Rose remembered her manners, “Yes, thank you.” He filled her plate again, but instead of walking over and handing it to her, he set it on his desk. “I don’t bite, I promise. Come sit with me, we can eat together.” Rose scooted her seat away from the wall till it was at the desk. She then started eating more slowly. Taking her time to savor every bite, and observe her meal companion, who was filling a plate of his own. His dark hair was wavy, and a few locks had fallen out of his ponytail. He had various scars, on his face and hands. He wore a brown leather coat that was long, along

with a white shirt, and black pants. He had been wearing a brown leather hat, but he had taken it off. He had multiple scars on his arms. He noticed her staring and glanced at his arm. “Oh, Pan absolutely hates me, and wants to punish me for escaping, so every time we meet, he tries to cut off my hands. He thinks it would be a fitting punishment.” “That’s horrible. I’m still trying to process what I saw yesterday. Until then, I thought Peter was a good person.” “We all thought that. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” He said, furrowing his brow. “Maybe you should get some rest, are you all done eating? Rose wiped her mouth, “Yes, thank you. But why are you being kind to me?” He smiled, “Why wouldn’t I be, you’re just as lost and confused as I once was, I wish that I had a kind and friendly face when it happened to me.” They walked out of the captain’s cabin, and onto the deck. A large swell rocked the boat as they walked out. Causing Rose to stumble. James caught her. “You just can’t help falling all over me, can you?” Rose pulled away uncomfortably. James laughed, “Sorry, couldn’t help making a joke. But to be serious, I’ll always catch you when you fall. Since you seem to do that a lot.” “I’m tired, where is my cabin?” She asked quickly. James led her to a door behind the helm. “These are your quarters. Try to rest.” “Thank you.” He left, shutting the door. Rose looked around the tiny room. There was barely enough room to stretch her arms across the space. There was a small bed that took half of the room. She suddenly felt so tired. It had been a very long two days. Her head pounded from the chloroform, and she needed some rest. She lay down and almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

[dustedmagazine]

2016/2020: Patrick Masterson

If what you came to read was my 2020 wrapped, here: Yves Tumor’s Heaven to a Tortured Mind was my favorite album. HAAi’s Put Your Head Above the Parakeets was my favorite EP. Oleksandr Yurchenko and Svitlana Nianio’s Lichy Do Sta Symphony No. 1 was my favorite reissue. Overmono’s take on Rosalía’s “A Palé” was my favorite remix. Protomartyr’s “Processed by the Boys” was my favorite video. Equiknoxx’s Vinyl Factory set was my favorite mix. Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture” was song of the summer. The best show I saw was SuperKnova at Chicago’s Sleeping Village in February. My Spotify account doesn’t reflect any of this.

What follows is an unused essay for The Believer’s Distancing series that Dusted alumnus Daniel Levin-Becker ran for most of 2020. The idea behind the column was to write something personal about an album that took you to a space away from quarantine’s confines. I’d intended it as a kind of spiritual companion or prequel to the essay of mine that ran in May, but I think it functions as an endnote for this year just as much as it would’ve for 2016, when I sat out Dusted’s year-end features. Call it making up for lost time.

As I get older, I’m often reminded that music doesn’t save and it doesn’t really heal the way I once thought it could — but it does let you feel, which is to say it lets you know you’re alive. In a year where government ineptitude and personal irresponsibility actively worked against that, music took on added importance for its normality. Artists kept releasing. I kept listening. The ritual remained. I don’t know what 2021 brings the same way I didn’t know what 2017 had in store, but I do know what I’ll be doing until my ears finally fail me. Over my dead body is right. Thanks for reading.

- - -

Distancing #XX: Rojus (Designed to Dance)

Hitler, man. Fucking unbelievable.

I laugh at the thought, leaned back and following the shadow of an umbrella to shield my sunburned skin from further exposure on the main floor of Larcomar, an open-air mall carved into Lima’s Pacific cliffside, watching paragliders take off at regular intervals and nursing a bottle of Cusqueña in the final idle hours of my trip down here. My youngest brother is across the table, sunglasses on, shaking his head, then nodding like the Alonzo Mourning gif as he nurses his own: Yeah, we did do this, didn’t we. We met Hitler in Peru.

Well, sort of. That’s how I’m going to lead off the story of what I did for Christmas 2016, anyway. The truth is less sordid, no zombies: We’d been walking aimlessly the evening before around Miraflores, a neighborhood that never seemed to end and stopped at the sandwich shop La Lucha. I ordered a jamon y queso (relearning Spanish on the fly, needless to say, has its limits) and was rung up by Wilson, a very ordinary name, and served up by Jitler, which… I don’t know, maybe I’m the only person in line who gave it a second thought, but say that with a Spanish accent and it sure seems like something you, as a parent with even a vague awareness of the last 100 years on earth, wouldn’t risk naming your kid unless you were looking to prompt a lot of questions already answered by your kid’s name. Right? No fucking way? Unbelievable.

I tip the bottle back and think over how that hasn’t even been the best part of this trip. The best part, truly, is the bread. If I asked my friends to name three things they know about Peru, they’d say Machu Picchu or the Incas, probably ceviche, maybe coffee or pisco sours. They aren’t wrong, but there’s a more right answer: I haven’t had bad bread the entire time I’ve been in this country. From paninis to pizzas to hot dog rolls (what can I say, I panicked staring down a sizable menu and a dog just sounded right in the moment), every loaf or slice or roll has smelled tremendous and tasted better. I’m sure of it now: There really is something to breadmaking by the sea, as any defender of a New York bagel will tell you.

Is Peru the only country I’ve never eaten bad bread in? I take another sip, can’t remember.

On the other hand, why is every napkin here half-sized and single ply? It feels like you have to fight for each perforation of napkin no matter the buttery goodness of your bread. Maybe paper is just valued differently or people are neater here, but I’m sure of this, too: There has to be a reason the same way there’s a reason the bread is good and the straws are so big and the restaurant and bar hours are strange and only one guy does all the Liga 1 commentary and you can’t check into a flight until three hours before, but security for it closes two hours before and the gate is 15 minutes before. I have a lot more than Conversation in the Cathedral to read when I get back, I think. There’s a lot to be explained.

For example, what I’m even doing in Peru for Christmas to begin with. It started as a joke, I’ll tell people: I got hired in May for a job after being unemployed for seven of the previous 13 months. It took nine years, but this was finally the position I’d wanted since I graduated, the role I felt I was put on this planet to fulfill, and in this aspect of my life at least, I was relieved. My friend had planned a New Year’s Eve wedding and the logistics of bumming around friends’ couches or staying at my parents’ house for more than a week didn’t quite add up, so I told my brother, wouldn’t it be funny to go somewhere weird for Christmas instead? I’ve never been to Calgary or Albuquerque or Little Rock. Then it was Cuba, then Argentina, then Peru — hey, my brother says, I’ve got a friend who knows the country and is all about us going down there.

We check the flights. It’s laughably affordable for us both.

Like a lot of my trips in recent years, then, the logistics escalate quickly from theoretical to real: I play around with dates, times, connecting flights and strange airports in an effort to game the system and get a little bit extra trimmed off the cost. We commit to plane tickets, a hotel, itineraries. He gets phone numbers of people his friend knows down there. Where in Newark do you want to meet up before the flight? How far can we go once we’ve arrived? Is there anything we collectively need to see? Isn’t this dumb and delightful? And that’s it, crucial questions answered, pieces in place: I’m visiting Lima.

Everyone should travel like that, I think, watching another paraglider set off. In one way, I’m thinking about all the ridiculous pieces it took to put me here. In another, though, my mind is as far away as we are from Chicago. I’m stalling, trying not to think about what’s happened back home. Two weeks before, I was in Charlotte enduring grade school friends’ condolences like it was a funeral instead of the wedding it actually was. “I heard about what happened.” “I’m really sorry to hear about you and.” “I was looking forward to finally.” And so on. For someone who usually has so much to gab about, I still haven’t worked out how to say what I’m really feeling. It’s crushing and confusing when you think you’ve found the most powerful relationship in your life and effortlessly reached a kind of platonic ideal, the kind of intimacy most people go their whole lives not knowing — and then, slowly, you find it’s less true than you imagined, find something more powerful. Nothing can prepare you for what you can’t ignore. I have no idea what institutional oppression is like and I’ve done nothing but benefit from a system designed to serve me, so I feel too guilty to admit to anyone I’m an emotional wreck when their grandparents are dying and their worlds are changing and we’ve just elected a self-important cartoon for president, but there is always a “but” with stuff like this. I remember the bar in the hours before I left for Newark where I was tired and thirsty and tired of being thirsty, the train ride to O’Hare, pausing to look back before I passed on through security. There is always a reason.

All of that was the old world, I think to myself. This, though? This right here? This is the new. I think back to the intramural soccer matches we watched after downing the sandwiches and moving on; for all we know, we might’ve been watching a fourth division game out there. Beautiful palm trees, incredible summer weather, pull-ups on the beach, pisco sours with the hotel staff as a transgender game show host soundtracked our Christmas countdown, Brenda and Renzo and Callao and Christmas day turkey with a family I didn’t know and bubblegum soda and Barranco beer and Cerro San Cristobal and cherimoya slushies. Typhoon evacuation signs. The modern art museum. Lanes and turn signals as suggestions. Far away clears my head.

I know what I’m doing even when I don’t always know I know what I’m doing and God has that gotten me in some trouble, but I know what I’m weak for and I know what my strengths are and I think I know how to play it better yet. This is where I start to get myself correct, stop being my own worst enemy. I have a plan. I’m going to straighten things out and get my mind and life in order and all this pent up fear, this sadness and disappointment and self-defeating anxiety, is going to show itself out. I exhale in relief at the anticipation of it: Yes, 2016 was a bad year, maybe my worst, a year I never want to go through again — but 2017? No, I can feel it as “Blush” rolls around in my head and I watch another paraglider set off from the cliff and out toward the sun, the sea: 2017’s going to be a good year. A really good year.

Hitler. Fucking unbelievable. I take another sip and laugh again. What do you think, I say, one more and then we go? Rory nods. One more.

Rojus (Designed To Dance) by LEON VYNEHALL

[raywritesthings]

If They Knew Sweet Little You 1/7

My Writing Fandom: Doctor Who Characters: Donna Noble, Wilfred Mott, Sylvia Noble, Tenth Doctor Pairing: Doctor/Donna Summary: Donna's dull, regular life is turned upside-down thanks to an incident from the past she can no longer remember. AO3 link  

Two months. It had been just over two months since Donna had woken up on her bed in her clothes to learn the world had gone mad talking about planets in the sky. Well, of course they were in the sky. Where else were they supposed to be? On land?

It had only taken a few days for people to settle down and things to go back to normal. But Donna found she couldn’t settle as easily.

She wasn’t working and didn’t think she had been for a while, so there was nothing to do during the day. Her friends texted her, but it took until Veena mentioned she’d told them all she was busy lately for her to realize they hadn’t been inviting her out, so she had nothing to do at night. That probably explained why her bank account still looked decent despite her having no job.

Yet every time Donna sat down at her laptop to check her email or the temp agency, she found her attention wandering, and she never actually got around to it. The same with when she would try to muster up to energy to call up her friends and schedule something. She didn’t know what it was, but neither of those things seemed to hold the same appeal they once did.

Everything just felt off somehow. She couldn’t put a finger on it or even try to explain it, but it left her feeling not very good. And then sort of queasy. And then that queasiness had her hauling herself out of bed one morning to stick her head in the toilet and empty her stomach.

God, what had she eaten last night? Donna drank a lot of water and nibbled on some crackers, then went on a long walk around the neighborhood to avoid her mum’s dinner. She didn’t want a repeat of that morning, that was for sure.

But it happened again the next morning anyway. Donna crawled back under the covers and pulled them up over her head, trying to ignore the stale taste in her mouth or the slight pain in her throat.

Figured. She could sit in offices year round perfectly healthy while people sneezed and hacked up who knew what germs all around her, but as soon as she took a bit of time for herself that’s when it all caught up. Her mum would probably be on her about her loafing in no time. She’d have to start searching for a new position in earnest now.

That was, once she’d gotten over this flu or whatever it was.

—-

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I assure you this is no joke, Donna. The test was conclusive. You’re pregnant.”

Donna Noble gaped at old Doctor Simmons. Her family had been seeing him for ages, and a part of her wondered if it was high time he thought about retirement because he was obviously completely senile.

“I’m what?”

“Pregnant. I’d say about two months along.”

Donna had half a mind to ask if he’d been put up to this. “Can I get a second opinion?”

“You can, but they’ll tell you the same thing I just did.”

“Then I’ll get a third or a fourth or however many it takes! Doctor Simmons, you don’t understand,” she said. “Me being pregnant, that’s — well it’s just not possible.”

Doctor Simmons shook his head with a knowing smile. “Now, you don’t need to put up any pretense, Donna. I’m not here to judge the choices my patients make, only to help them be as healthy as possible while making them.”

“No, but I didn’t make this choice.”

“Well, accidents happen,” he remarked with a shrug. “If you’re worried about how the father will take it, I’d be perfectly happy to meet with you both. I’ll even help you with your mother, if you like.”

“No,” said Donna again, more forcefully this time. “You don’t understand. There is no father. I haven’t had sex in — well, long enough to not be pregnant now! I don’t even remember having an ‘accident’!”

The smile slipped from his face. “You don’t?”

Donna shook her head. “No.”

There was a lot Donna didn’t really remember, truthfully, of which she might have explained to Doctor Simmons if he hadn’t blindsided her with this. Like what she’d done for her birthday this year or why Lance had left her and why she’d gone off to Egypt straight after.

She got headaches now, too, just sometimes. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to them; she might be watching bees buzz around the flowers in the garden or children at play in the park or pass a man on the street with really nice brown eyes — and then it hit, and she’d be useless all the rest of the day.

Donna couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a temp position, either, but rather than nag her about that her mother had found her emptying her stomach into the toilet three mornings ago and suggested she go see the doctor. Well, her specific words had been, “Go and see Simmons. It’s been ages since your last appointment.” Her mum avoided the word doctor like the plague lately, come to think of it.

So she’d gone and done her best to answer all the questions. Yes, she’d been eating properly. No, she didn’t really exercise much — imagine her shock when the nurse had told her she’d dropped half a stone! Yes, she was getting enough sleep. No, she couldn’t recall when her last cycle had started or ended.

Donna had wondered if that was it; her body clock had timed out early, and she’d missed her chance. That’d be just her luck. But here it turned out to be a different story entirely, and one that could only be fantasy!

Doctor Simmons was watching her now and seemed to be considering very carefully what to say next. “If you truly have no recollection of the intercourse that could have led to conception, it might be wise to run some additional tests. For your health.”

“Oh, my God.” Donna pressed both hands to her temples. “This can’t be happening.” What had she done, had a drunken shag in the bathroom of some pub? She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d chatted a stranger up much less slept with one. “What am I gonna do?”

“Alright, let’s not panic. I’m going to send you home with some antenatal vitamins to start taking. You come back in at the end of the week. We’ll run those tests and see what we find, if anything.” He reached out and patted her knee. “Motherhood is an exciting journey, Donna — for some more so than others.”

Motherhood. She was going to be a mum. She really was. And she had no idea how she’d managed it.

Neither did Veena or Susie Mair or even Nerys when she phoned them each in turn. Not that she told them what it was about of course.

“Veena, when’s the last time we’ve been out for drinks? About two months ago?”

“Nah, it’s been way longer,” said her friend on the other end of the line. “You were out sight-seeing or something a couple months back, weren’t you? We’ll have to go out now, you can tell me all about it.”

“Er, yeah, maybe some other time.” Donna got off the phone without making any commitments. Wasn’t like she could go out for drinks any time soon anyway!

No one she talked to could confirm any type of funny business, not even when she went round to all the usual spots. Mostly they just kept saying it was good to see her again.

Oh God, had she gone off somewhere else and been drugged and knocked up?

With nothing to tell Doctor Simmons, she nevertheless needed to make sure it wasn’t just a baby she’d been stuck with.

“Mum, I need the car. Going in to see the doctor — Doctor Simmons, I mean,” she felt the strangest need to clarify.

“What are you going back for so soon?” Her mother asked from the kitchen. “There’s not something wrong, is there?”

“No,” Donna lied. “Just a follow-up.”

As she sat in traffic, she wondered not for the first time what she was going to do. There was only so long she could keep this from her family. Donna cringed just picturing the disappointment on her mother’s face and the ‘I warned you’ speech that was sure to follow. Gramps would be worried, she supposed, but he’d at least be kind about it. At the moment, Donna didn’t have the energy to try and imagine how anyone else would take it. As if she wasn’t already the biggest failure in Chiswick.

A week after the tests, Donna went back in again. “I have some good news,” Doctor Simmons told her. “You’re clean. You haven’t contracted anything.”

“Yeah, except a baby,” Donna remarked.

He didn’t laugh. “Yes, well, Donna...I think it is best that we discuss your options going forward. Being that this pregnancy appears to be the result of a non-consensual sexual encounter —”

“I’m keeping it,” said Donna before he could finish. “I don’t care how it happened — I mean, I care but I- I’ve always wanted to be a mum. And this is probably the best shot I’ve got.”

It wasn’t the worst way it could have happened. At least she hadn’t resorted to a turkey baster like Nerys. Was she upset her child wasn’t going to have a father? Yes. Did she worry how that would affect it growing up? Absolutely. But if she just had a chance to give her baby all the love and support she’d missed out on in life, wouldn’t it be enough? Wouldn’t it make all this worth it?

Doctor Simmons was favoring her with a pitying look, but all he said was, “If that is your choice, then you have my full support.”

“Yeah, speaking of, if you see my mum or Gramps around, would you mind not mentioning this? I haven’t figured out how to tell them yet.”

“Of course. If you need any assistance in that regard, please let me know.”

She left Doctor Simmons’ office with a referral to an OBGYN and a problem to consider: how was she going to break the news to her family?

Briefly, Donna entertained the idea of taking up a new temp job across town, renting out a cheap flat, and avoiding her mother for the rest of her natural life. But that wouldn’t stop her hearing it from someone else. And how would she make it on her own as a single mum with work and a baby? She needed her family, if they’d still have her once they found out.

So it was time to fess up. She couldn’t go on making up excuses for appointments and hiding the antenatal vitamins under her pillow.

If she was lucky, her grandad would be the only one home when she got back, and she could run it by him first. Gauge a reaction.

This would be so much easier if she just knew who’d gotten her this way. It wasn’t likely they’d end up a family together if they’d seemingly only had that one forgotten encounter, but at least she’d have options in case her mum kicked her out of the house tonight!

—

Wilfred Mott was worried about his granddaughter. But he’d been that way ever since she came home. Was brought home.

He knew it had been the only way to save her life, and for that he’d always be thankful. But Wilf couldn’t help wishing there was something else the Doctor could do for their girl so she’d have her memories back. That wonderful alien was so clever.

Only now he was gone for Donna’s safety, and that was the worst bit. No man had ever treated Donna as well as the Doctor had. She’d practically been glowing the last few times they’d come round the house together, and Wilf didn’t think he could recall her being happier, not even in the run-up to that wedding with that Lance fellow or whichever his name was. He missed watching the two of them run about stopping alien invasions, making each other laugh.

He thought Donna missed the Doctor, too, in her own way. She came up on the hill with him infrequently, staring up at the stars she’d lost and looking so sad. Sometimes she just sat at a window, mind far away with her arms wrapped around her middle as if in a hug.

She’d been practically listless the last couple months. The occasional headache here or there, but they’d gotten a handle for the most part on what triggered them. When Sylvia had found her being sick in the bathroom, however, she’d badgered Donna into a checkup.

“What if she caught some disease out there, dad?” His daughter had fretted.

“Oh, Sylvia, I’m sure it’s alright.” After all, it had been over two months; surely there would have been a sign before now?

Donna had come home from the appointment just as quiet and withdrawn as before but saying that nothing was wrong. Then she went back for a second appointment, and a third.

“She’ll tell us when she’s ready,” he said to an increasingly panicked Sylvia, though he couldn’t help hoping Donna would feel ready soon.

That afternoon, he was doing some of the washing up before dinner to make room in the kitchen for Sylvia. The front door opened and shut, and when no one called out he thought he could guess which of his girls had gotten back first. “Donna? That you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah.” A couple moments later she was shuffling into the room and dropping into a chair at the table. “Where’s mum?”

“Still out. Won’t be back for another hour at least.” Wilf turned off the faucet and reached for a towel to dry his hands. When he turned around, Donna had hers folded on her lap and was biting her lip. “Something the matter?”

She looked up at him. “Gramps, there’s something I’ve got to tell you. And you’re gonna have some questions, but I honestly don’t know the answers to them, so I’m sorry.” She looked away again. “God, you’re gonna be so ashamed of me.”

“Ashamed of you?” He echoed. “Never.” She cracked just the slightest smile at that. He crossed the room and took a seat as well. “I’m sure it can’t be all bad. What is it?”

Donna hesitated. “Well, I — I’m pregnant.”

Wilf nearly fell out of his chair. “Pregnant?”

She shushed him despite them being the only two home. “Yes. Getting closer to three months now.”

“Oh. Oh dear.” He looked her up and down. She wasn’t showing yet, but he supposed she wouldn’t be. Of all the things he’d been worried about! “But- but when? How?”

“That’s the thing. I really don’t know. And it’s not because I can’t decide whose it is.” She shrugged with a tired, “There’s just no one.”

Wilfred didn’t know what to say. “You’re sure?”

Donna groaned and put her head in her hands. “Please, Gramps, this is already embarrassing enough without going over the details of my sexual history with you.”

He supposed she had a point. “What’re you gonna tell your mother?”

“I dunno. I could let her carry on thinking I was just getting fatter for a while, couldn’t I?”

“Oh, Donna.”

Donna looked up, a real fear in her eyes. “She’s gonna kill me for this, Gramps. We both know it.”

“She wouldn’t.” He wished his protest sounded more sincere.

Dinner that night started off an uncomfortable affair. On one side was Sylvia, forcing herself to keep from asking Donna about the latest doctor’s appointment; on the other was Donna, so very reluctant to break the news.

After fifteen minutes of stilted conversation ranging from the topics of the weather to what Suzette had bought at the shops that day, enough was enough. “Sylvia, love, Donna’s got something she wants to say.” He gave his granddaughter an encouraging smile and watched her draw in a deep breath.

“Mum, the reason I’ve been going in for all these appointments — well, I’m not sick, if that’s what you were worried about.” She paused, and Wilf reached across the table to take her hand. He felt Donna squeeze it tightly once before saying, “I’m pregnant.”

Sylvia’s fork dropped onto her plate with a clatter. “Pregnant? Since when? How?”

“Going on three months, and I don’t know. Look, I only found out myself the beginning of this month.”

“Who’s the father?”

“I don’t know,” Donna repeated.

“Well, how can you not know —”

“Because I don’t remember it happening!” Donna stood with such force her chair was knocked over. “I haven’t been seeing anyone. None of the girls have had anything to tell me, either, so I guess you can call me the bloody Virgin Mary because this baby didn’t get here any other way!”

“You, a virgin? That’s the day I’ll believe in miracles,” Sylvia scoffed.

“Oh, Sylvia, don’t,” Wilf began.

“No, it’s fine,” said Donna. “I knew you being weirdly nice to me lately was just a fluke.” She glared at her mother. “Go ahead, tell me you told me so. Tell me this is all my fault. I know it is, but it’ll make you feel better, won’t it?”

Sylvia looked between them both, eyes wide and face incredibly pale. “Donna, it’s not — you’re important to me, and I just don’t want to see —”

“Yeah, well, if you don’t want to see it, I’ll just pack and be off in the morning.”

Wilfred watched her storm upstairs in dismay, then turned back to Sylvia.

“Well, am I supposed to pretend to be pleased?” His daughter defended before he could even speak. “She’s got no job, no prospects.”

“I know all that. But, love, you can’t blame her for it. She can’t remember.” He stressed the last two words, hoping it conveyed their significance.

Sylvia looked at him sharply. “You think it happened while she was off — out there?”

He shrugged. “It’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Look, she’s been going spare trying to figure it out herself, and she never will. Don’t you think we ought to do all we can to help her instead of making it worse?”

Abruptly, his daughter burst into tears.

Wilf stood and hurried around the table to place his arms around her. “Here now, what’s this?”

“You said she went to other planets and — and met creatures. I mean what if it’s alien, dad?”

“It might not be alien. Could just be someone she met in the future, or the past,” he reasoned.

“Oh, wonderful,” his daughter said. “Good luck for her getting child support, then!”

“She’s got support. She’s got us.”

“She’s got you, you mean.” Sylvia shrugged him off and kept her gaze on the table. “He was right. I don’t say it often enough. Now she doesn’t believe me. My own daughter.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “How did I let that happen?”

Wilfred hung his head. It really wasn’t just her fault. He’d said this or that, tried to intervene, but he could’ve done more; Lord knew Geoffrey had tried, but he just hadn’t had the same authority as his wife. He supposed this day had always been coming, when the damage Sylvia had done finally came home to roost. There was little he could say to deny it was there.

So he placed his hand back on her shoulder. “You just didn’t know how not to be hard on her, that’s all. You knew exactly how you wanted her to grow up, and when she didn’t follow that plan you felt like you’d failed. But you haven’t, Sylvia, you haven’t,” he continued when she choked on a sob. “Why, Donna’s the most important woman in the universe. That’s the daughter you raised. And if she’s gonna be a mum, well, she’s gonna need her own mum now more than ever.”

His daughter had calmed mostly, cries subsiding to sniffles.

“Now, I’ll go and check on her, and you get yourself cleaned up. I’ll put the kettle on for you.” Despite his belief in the best of both his girls, he didn’t think a second conversation between them in one night would go so well with emotions running so high.

Wilf passed through the kitchen to turn on the kettle, then padded up the stairs and down the hall to Donna’s door, which was slightly ajar. Inside, he could hear her crying. He knocked lightly. “Donna?”

The crying cut off with a gasp. A moment later, she called out in a thick voice, “Come in!”

He pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked into the darkened room. She was sitting on the bed, a suitcase half-packed beside her. On her lap was —

“A hat box, I know. Don’t know why I thought I was gonna need one of those.” Her attempt at a smile wavered badly, and she raised a hand to wipe at teary eyes. Wilf stepped forward with his handkerchief held out.

She took it with a soft, “Thanks.”

“That’s alright. Donna, you know your mother doesn’t want you to leave. She just, well, she worries about you, in her own way.”

“I could do with her worrying less, then.” She set the hat box aside with a heavy sigh, then made room for him next to her on the bed. “I’m not going, really. Haven’t anywhere to go.”

Yes, she did, Wilf wanted to say. To the stars. But she couldn’t, and for more reasons than the baby.

“Have you started thinking about names?” He asked instead.

“I’ve only had just about a month,” Donna reminded him. Nevertheless, she humored him. “Let’s see. Wilfred for a boy.”

He chuckled. “Oh no, I know it’s old fashioned.”

“Middle name, then. And for a girl...I don’t know.” Her face took on that faraway look again. “Maybe Jenny. I feel like Jenny would be a good name for a daughter.”

“Jenny Noble,” he said, and he was glad to see Donna come back to herself. She smiled at him, her hand resting over her stomach.

“It’s in the running.”

“You don’t know how proud I am of you,” he told her. Donna scoffed, but he carried right on. “It’s the hardest thing, being a parent, and here you are taking it on on your own.”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing a real bang-up job of it, too.”

“Well, you’ll only get better with time,” he insisted.

Eyes red but dry, she passed him back his handkerchief, which he tucked away.

“Should we get you unpacked?”

“Oh, I’ll just leave it for the morning,” she said. “Exhausted myself earlier with all that.”

“I’ll let you get to bed, then.” He stood and made his way to the door.

“Gramps?” Donna’s call had him pausing, and he turned back around. “Thanks.”

He raised a hand to dismiss it. “No thanks necessary.”

She smiled. “Love you.”

“Love you.” Wilf stepped out into the hall and closed the door. He went back down to the kitchen to find Sylvia must have taken her tea up to bed with her. For the better, really; it was getting late, and he still had one more thing to do. One more person to take care of, since Donna couldn’t anymore.

Wilf pulled on his coat and hiked up the hill. He got out his telescope and set it up, then settled in his chair. Plenty of stars, and even some planets, but no blue box. The same as usual. Wilf wondered if they would ever see it again.

“I hope you’re alright out there. We’re all fine, even if Donna’s been through a bit of a shock. Suppose you wouldn’t know anything about that, though, or you would’ve said.”

It didn’t seem to be affecting her so far as the memories and all that went. She was still safe from burning up, which was the best they could ask for. He wished as ever, of course, that she could simply have her memories back and be fine. It would at least give her less cause for shame over this whole pregnancy.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. In a way, the child was something from those wonderful travels she’d had that she could keep, even if she didn’t realize it.

Wilfred kept up his watch for a while longer, then at last put his things away. He straightened up and snapped off a salute to the stars.

“Goodnight, Doctor. Maybe the next one, eh?”

[comrade-jiang]

The Price of Bread in Dungeons and Dragons, Part 1

There's a multitude of issues with the way the economy in D&D works; namely, it doesn't. This is a worldbuilding exercise by me to try and make some sense out of seemingly random numbers. I'm probably going to fail. This week, we're looking at bread, milk, cheese, beef, pork, and chicken. The necessities in life.

For ease of understanding, the seasons are renamed in my campaign. The calendar is 360 days and begins in the spring month, Pollengrass, which is then followed by Sunpeak, Harvestfall, and finally Deadwood. I use the terms fairly interchangeably with their actual counterparts here.

So, what is the price of bread? Well, first we have to discover how much it costs to plant wheat.

BREAD

Planting 100 pounds of grain seed (wheat, rye, barley) will yield 1500 pounds of grain on average. One acre of land can handle this amount normally. Planting takes up most of Pollengrass (spring) and ends in Harvestfall (fall). Not many people just want wheat itself, so the wheat has to, in most cases, be milled first. 100 pounds of grain will result in 70 pounds of flour. An average-skilled miller takes 10%, and about 20% is lost in the milling process. Bread, of course, requires flour AND water to make. For most, the cost of water is negligible, but we'll say 1 gallon of fresh water costs 2 copper pieces and can be used to make 4 loaves of bread. A loaf is a pound, and has about 4 servings in it. That pound loaf costs an average of 8 copper. This means making a loaf of bread actually requires 1.1 pounds of grain to be recovered from the miller, who then takes his 10%, and including what is lost in milling, it requires 1.3 pounds. The average person needs about a pound of food per day. Half, one quarter, or even one eighth of this could be bread. Let's say this super-average farmer plants 10 acres of grain, getting back 15,000 pounds at harvest. The government taxes 1500 pounds. The farmer is left with 13,500 pounds of raw wheat, which he takes to the super-average miller. Due to average loss and the miller's cut of 30% total, the farmer comes away with 9450 pounds of flour.

I'm saying all this to say that a pound of wheat bread costs 8 copper. A pound of white bread costs 15 copper.

The farmer comes away with 60 pounds of flour for every 100 pounds of wheat he planted. Average price of regular brown flour is 5cp per pound, while the more expensive white flour is about 10cp per pound. This means the farmer that plants 50 acres (5000 pounds) of brown wheat seed gets 75,000 pounds of wheat at harvest, and 45,000 pounds of flour after tax and milling. At average market price, that returns 225,000cp, or 22,500sp, or 2250gp, or 225pp.

A 1-acre plot of brown wheat yields 1500 pounds, and yields 900 pounds of brown flour after milling and tax. At average market price, this returns 4500cp, or 450sp, or 45gp. If this is a field of white wheat, it yields 9000cp, or 900sp, or 90gp.

Forgetting everything else, one human will need 365 pounds of bread per year to stay fed. This is not at all a nutritious meal. Assuming the farmer has a spouse and 8 farm hands, these 10 people need 3650 pounds, roughly, of bread per year.

I think this is all I can say about bread, but you can read about milk, beef, chicken, and pigs under the cut.

CHEESE and MILK

Now that the price of bread has been established, we can talk about things that aren't bread.

A dairy cow, before it can produce milk, must first have a pasture. For the most part, this means the farmer must have the land- roaming dairy cows are an easy target for cattle rustlers. Cows can eat hay and corn.

A dairy cow needs 4 pounds of hay or corn per day, which means 1 acre of land just about feeds a cow for a year. To keep a cow producing milk, it has to have a calf every year. This calf can be slaughtered or sold, with the average calf commanding a measly 10gp at market.

A good cow in Bronzeisle can produce 6 gallons of milk. A good cheesemaker can turn 4 of those gallons into 1 pound of cheese. This can be done at home with cheap, easy to use supplies, but if a town is large enough to have a cheesemaker, he will usually charge 1sp per pound of cheese, or 5cp if you give him the supplies.

We've already determined that an acre field of average wheat can yield a farmer about 45gp per year, so we can justify the standard price of a cow, which is 50gp. The farmer could be using the field for something else like that wheat. Instead he chooses to raise a cow. This means the price of the cow is more dependent on the worth of the land it uses than the materials it produces.

So, 4 gallons of milk make 1 pound of cheese. A cow can produce 6 gallons a day, or 2190 gallons a year, or, if it is all used to make cheese, 547 pounds of cheese. We can guess that 4 gallons of milk is worth about 4 copper when there's far too much of it in the summer, and 8 copper when there's less in the winter. This comes to 1cp per gallon in summer and 2cp per gallon in winter.

This means cheese is worth 8cp, right? Well, no. It's labor-intensive, but because cheese is often made in bulk, it's less expensive than one-off jobs would be. Throw in an extra 4cp for labor costs, as practically all materials except the milk itself are reused in the cheesemaking process. Sure, there are things like rennet, but we're going to count those as very minor expenses, 1cp per pound of cheese. The worth of this cheese on the books is 13cp. The average farmer will sell this for anywhere from 15cp to 2sp, but we'll stick with 2sp for further calculations.

This pound of cheese could feed one person, although there are several problems with this. 1. it's difficult to just eat cheese alone all day, 2. this is far too expensive for the average person, and 3. the average person would be lacking in key nutrients.

A half pound of cheese, half pound of bread comes to 14cp for the average person.

BEEF

Cows can also be slaughtered for food. To keep cows to purely be slaughtered is the height of decadence for a farmer, as beef cows command an average of 60gp at the market. They can be grain or corn fed, but most choose to let them roam on open land. Either way, a beef cow needs about 1 acre of land to grow to an appropriate, healthy size of 600 pounds. The farmer only needs to feed them throughout Deadwood (winter), which usually lasts about 90 days, but it's often too cold for plants to grow 120 days of the year. This means the farmer needs to provide 1/3 of the food for the cattle himself.

Feed corn is cheaper than corn that humanoids eat, so we'll establish here that 1 pound of feed corn costs 1cp. This means each cow costs 4cp per day to keep fed during the winter, or each cow costs 480cp (48sp) to kept fed for the winter. If a farmer really wanted, he could front the entire 1440cp (144sp, 14gp 4sp) and feed the cattle for the whole year, still making enough money when he sells them at market. It takes about two years for a cow to get to slaughter weight, although calves are often slaughtered between 3 and 16 tendays.

Speaking of the market, the butcher mostly cares about how much the animal weighs. Mostly bulls will be taken to market, as the cows can be used to produce more bulls, and gain more money. If the bull weighs about 600 pounds, it will produce a 360 pound carcass, and 240 pounds of beef. The butcher will often try to lowball the seller, but the bull will often sell for 80 gold. The butcher will then want to nearly double his money and make 140gp off the meat alone. Some people will buy the refuse from the bull, like the bones, tongue, eyes, heart, stomachs, and testicles, but we'll focus on the meat.

The average pound of beef will go for 6sp at the market, making it the most expensive item by far. Beef is often saved for VERY special occasions, if eaten at all by the people who produce it. The last three days of the year, known as the Knight's Nights, were historically a time when serfs would be allowed to eat beef.

PIGS

Pigs are more important for most people than beef. They eat the leftovers of anything they're given, making their food costs largely negligible. For consistency's sake, we'll say that each 5 pounds of food produces 1 pound of edible refuse.

Pigs can forage, but like cows must be fed for 120 days of the year during Deadwood (winter). The pigs need about 2 pounds of feed per day during this period. This means pigs cost 2cp to feed a day. To feed a pig for the winter, it would cost 240cp (24sp), or 720cp (72sp) for the whole year. However, a pig can get up to slaughter weight in only 6 months, which would cost only 360cp (36sp).

At time of slaughter, a pig weighs about 200 pounds, produces a 120 pound carcass, and has about 80 pounds of meat. Similar to the cow, the pig's extraneous organs will be sold to various people, but the meat is most important here. The pig can be sold for a little more than a third as much as beef, or roughly 25gp. The butcher will then sell that meat for 2sp per pound. This makes pork a good option for the poor farmer who happens to have a holding, but not enough to maintain even the smallest cows.

CHICKENS and EGGS

Chickens mainly produce eggs and more chickens. Both of these are valuable commodities. Similar to pork and beef, chickens eat feed corn, but at a much slower rate. Per tenday, a chicken eats 1 pound of feed corn. The average chicken is slaughtered at 6 tendays, meaning it costs just 6cp to bring a chicken to slaughter weight. Chickens often roam around town freely and return to their coops at night, meaning they often supplement their rationed feed with bugs and spilled grain.

The average slaughter weight chicken weighs 4 pounds, and produces 3 pounds of meat, more or less. This is, of course, much less than the average chicken in contemporary times, whose weights can reach twice that. Regardless, this chicken will sell for 5sp to the butcher, who will then sell the meat for 1sp, making only a 1sp profit. The upside to this is a good butcher can prepare a chicken in maybe ten minutes, with a big scalding vat to seat several of them at a time. This presents a profit margin of 6sp per hour, or 48sp per 8-hour workday.

Welcome to actual economics. The chickens aren't as profitable as pigs in the long run, which is why they're often just slaughtered and eaten at home. Similarly, the eggs chickens provide aren't as profitable in small batches, but provide for the family. A female chicken provides roughly an egg every three days, or 120 per year. An especially fertile chicken can produce up to an egg every other day, or 180 per year, but this is quite rare. These female chickens often live for up to 6 years, producing roughly 720 eggs in their lifetime.

These eggs, though, are worth next to nothing. They cell for 6cp for a dozen, or... half a copper coin each. This technically isn't even a real measurement, like half a penny. This means our average, 120-per-year hen brings in a grand total of.... 60cp per year, making keeping her alive only 1sp more profitable than killing her. Grim prospects for chicken farmers.

Chickens become invaluable in larger numbers. Keeping a single chicken seems a bit odd, anyway. So we'll give our theoretical farmer 15 hens and 3 cocks to keep them happy and productive. He also has 3 acres of feed corn, which gives him 1500 pounds of feed for the birds. The birds only need 36 pounds each, or 648 pounds a year. Throughout the course of a year, this farmer will eat 72 roasters as well, selected from the eggs the hens lay. These will grow to six tendays and then be slaughtered. Our three acres of land give us 4500 pounds of feed corn. The roasters eat 2592 pounds of this over their existences, and the hens and cocks eat another 648 for a total of 3240. Our farmer can sell the remaining 260 pounds for a profit of 260cp (26sp).

REVIEW

Let's see how our meal is looking. We have bread. We have cheese. We have a choice of chicken, beef, or pork. Assuming a 1:1:1 composition, let's see how much a burger, a pork sandwich, and a chicken sandwich would cost in our world so far, assuming the consumer made them, but bought the materials from fair dealers.

A third of a loaf of bread is 2.6 copper, which we have to round to 3. A third of a block of cheese is 6.66 repeating copper, which we, again, have to round to 7.

This is where it gets fun. A third of a pound of beef is 2 silver, again the most expensive thing by far. A third of a pound of pork is 6.66 repeating copper. A third of a pound of chicken is 3.33 repeating copper. Let's see how this affects our menu.

Hamburger.............22 copper. Cheeseburger..........30 copper. Pork Sandwich.........16 copper. Chicken Sandwich......13 copper.

Our menu is shaping up, but incredibly expensive. We haven't calculated for the economy of scale or other price reduction methods that exist today. Next time we will discuss fruits, spices, and land, hot commodities upcharged not because of their rarity, but purely because of how badly people want them.

Part 2

[emerygoat26-blog]

Author Nathan Englander Gets His Syrup in New Hampshire - Grub Street

At Mike’s Coffee Shop in Clinton Hill. Photo: Christian Rodriguez

At 30, Nathan Englander was the youngest ever recipient of the PEN award for “excellence in the art of the short story,” and this week he published his fifth book, the comically probing kaddish.com. His writing has been called “genre-hopping” and several variations on “playful,” descriptions that might also apply to his relationship with eating. Like many food lovers, Englander can appreciate a great restaurant as much as he can a well-written recipe — but he also isn’t above eating his daughter’s leftovers. “My wife can’t believe it,” he says. “I’m like, ‘Oh, yeah, I am definitely more than happy to find myself eating the kid food.’” Over the past week, he also had time to eat stoop pizza, consider the qualities that make a neighborhood diner great, and think, wistfully, about bagels. Read all about it in this week’s Grub Street Diet.

Thursday, March 21 I wish this had started Wednesday night. My wife and I actually got a babysitter, and went to a grown-up restaurant with another couple. One half of that couple was our friend JJ, who writes cookbooks, and when you go to restaurants with him, things you didn’t order just appear — “lamb chops, compliments of the food mafia!” — and I think that would have been a fun meal to share. But my Grub Street Diet started this morning! And I was doing drop-off, and was late getting our 4-year-old daughter to preschool — as I am every day.

While I packed her lunch, I ate a piece of wheat toast and drank a gallon of Kitten Coffee’s Tandem blend. I don’t like that super-black, melt-your-tongue coffee. I drink way too much coffee for that, and Kitten’s is just the perfect live-on-it-all-day roast. Also, I was once leaving the coffee shop on our corner, and the Kitten guy was delivering, and I screamed, “Hey, I love your coffee.” And he said, “Try this, I think you’ll like it,” and he threw me a pound of something new they were making, and I swooned with neighborhood good cheer.

So, my book was coming out on Tuesday and I was in prelaunch madness. I was stuck in the house, doing assignments, like 500 words on fingernails for Fingernail Digest, and I had a half-hour phone interview that somehow ran to an hour and a half and I was going to miss eating lunch. But JJ checked in, as he does about a million times a day. He was over on Henry Street, and he texted me a picture of the sandwiches chalked up on the board at Lillo, and offered to deliver. And, as with the Kitten coffee, it’s that kind of neighborly niceness that just kills me. He brought me the Mediterraneo, as ordered. It’s Italian tuna, arugula, sweet marinated onions, and tomato. It was delicious. (He also brought a couple of desserts, which I put aside.) And we both worked on our laptops at the table for a while.

Also, while I was waiting for JJ to show up, I ate the cold tortellini from Olivia’s dinner the night before. I’m all about the cold kid noodles from yesterday’s dinners. I enjoy that stuff. It’s not just that I’m eating it, I actually love it. I am definitely more than happy to find myself eating the properly aged fish sticks, and the apples with bites missing. I think that’s a big parent thing, to be like, “Now I’m going to have a second meal that I found on the counter.”

A friend I hadn’t seen in years was in town visiting, and she was coming by for dinner. So, at the end of the workday, I ran over to Mekelburg’s for a loaf of She Wolf sourdough (which we’re crazy for). I also got Firehook sea salt crackers, and some cheddar and manchego and our favorite cheese, Délice de Bourgogne, which is about one inch away from just eating butter with a spoon. I got olives and radishes, and I also got all the fixings for my red lentil soup. I served it over brown rice, and finished it off with wilted spinach and some Greek yogurt, as the recipe recommends. My wife, Rachel, made a butter lettuce, endive, and grapefruit salad.

Also, it was Purim, and Rach got some hamantaschen that we served along with the desserts that JJ had brought. One was a kind of Italian version of a Boston cream doughnut, and there was a blueberry tart with a lattice top.

Friday, March 22 I made Olivia French toast, which was not at all a weekday thing, but she asked for it, and getting to school on time, as I’ve said, is not my strong suit. I had Greek yogurt, banana, and honey. And coffee. And Rach had a version of the same.

It was Friday, which was a gym day. So we do speed things up as best we can. We’ve been working out at CrossFit South Brooklyn for years, even though it’s over in Gowanus. But we love it, and it feels like family now. And we’re pretty religious about our Monday-Wednesday-Friday class, which is a kind of body-weight-centric thing that we love.

When I need to do busywork before writing, I often head to Three’s Brewing, one street over from the gym. It’s not for a post-workout beer. The brewery is closed during the day, but they have a cozy little outpost of Ninth Street Espresso inside that uses the space during the daytime. I headed over and got a coffee and, to ruin any gym-related gains, a cheddar and chive scone (which is just to say, I should have had the French toast).

Let’s sing the praises of leftovers. I cook so much more lately,, and the more complicated or ridiculous, the better. That, is I like to make the things where people say, “Ummm, you know, they sell that at the grocery store. You can buy that a lot more easily than you can make that.” I was recently cooking Middle Eastern food and I was like, “Well, I should also make the pita,” and there were a million steps, and I was really proud, but, man, that dinner would have been a lot easier if I’d just run to Damascus Bakery, or, you know, any supermarket in the whole city. I think it ties in to the writer brain. If I need to fix something I’m writing, I will stay up all night, and I will do it again and again until it’s where it needs to be.

Anyway, there was the leftover lentil soup and the cheese and that giant loaf from She Wolf waiting. And I had plans to meet my publicist, Jordan. We were both swamped, and so she swung by, and we set up shop at our dining room table (by which I mean, our only table), and we had a super nice lunch, but with screens out, typing away.

Rach and I are nutty for Ethiopian food. It’s a favorite. And, luckily, there’s a fantastic restaurant over on Fulton, across from Greenlight Bookstore, my local. It’s a big corner for me: books and Ethiopian food. The restaurant is called Bati. And the owner, Hibist, is an old friend. Back when I started writing and lived on the Upper West Side, I used to go do my work at the Hungarian Pastry Shop. I mean, I sat there all day, every day, and often closed the place down. And Hibist used to work behind the counter. And I love when a person’s dreams come true. That is, I remember Hibist pouring coffees in the ’90s and now she owns her own restaurant — and it’s the best. Also, they’re really nice to our daughter, who has gone from eating everything to a very beige-focused food phase (possibly inherited from my suburban, white-bread roots).

Anyway, we packed her a little dinner of her own as an emergency backup, which they were really nice about. And as for ordering at Bati, Rach and I haven’t touched a menu there in years. We always, always get a vegetarian combo for two — which had a bunch of things on it, gomen, and buticha, and key sir, and — what really matters to us — always lots of shiro. And, at Bati, I don’t even need JJ for special treatment. They always keep an eye on us and make sure there’s shiro on the tray.

Also, they were out of St. George beer that night, so I had a Walia, which was equally great.

Saturday, March 23 If I’m being honest here, this was a record amount of time for me not to have eaten a bagel. This diary should have already had five dozen or so in it. Anyway, I ate the She Wolf Sourdough toast, day 400 on that bread. If you amortize the initial investment, I was pretty much making money on that loaf.

After dance class (my daughter’s, not mine), we headed over to Tacombi with friends. It’s a great Mexican place with locations in Manhattan, but now we’ve got one across from BAM. I spotted one grown-up couple having beers in the main room when we got there, but otherwise there were lots of kids, and lots in tutus — it seemed to be the new post-dance hangout. We had a big order of kid-friendly plain versions of things, which the staff was really nice about (that is, quesadilla with nothing, rice and beans with nothing). As for this grown-up, I had the seared fish tacos and their Naranja, which is a papaya, carrot, pineapple, and orange juice.

So, it was the Montclair Literary Festival — go NJ! My event was near the end of the day, and, after it was over, I went straight into Joyce Carol Oates’s. Then there was a cocktail party for the festival, and I ate I don’t know what, some hummus and pita, and had a glass of white wine. And Joyce had invited me to dinner with friends, and we headed to a place called Scala del Nonna. The joint was jumping, it was packed out and loud and Saturday night-ish, and one table kept knocking over the wine bucket.

As for wine, apparently Montclair has some ancient liquor law thing, and the restaurant was dry. So my friend Julie ran out to the store next-door and bought a bottle of Gavi, and Joyce’s friend ordered porcini risotto with peas for the table. I got the branzino alla griglia, which was marinated sea bass lightly grilled with scarola Siciliana. And, well, if you replaced all the fish I ate this week with candy and bagels, once again, it would better represent my normal diet.

Sunday, March 24 The day was packed with playdates, which was lovely. My daughter and I headed over to a friend’s who has twins and lives right next to the bagel store — my chance to make a move. But when we got into their house, Melissa had already made a mountain of whole-grain silver dollar pancakes, and a fruit plate with strawberries, watermelon, and pear. And, as always, she put a cup of coffee right into my hand.

We all headed to the park. As the twins headed off, another friend of my daughter’s showed up with her dad. After another couple of hours of wildness, we took the girls for a slice of Luigi’s Pizza and sat on the stoop outside. My slice turns into two, and they keep their seltzers properly freezing in their fridge. Slices on a stoop make me extraordinarily happy in a New York way: I was being nostalgic while it was happening, like, “This is the life.”

For our third and final playdate of the day, we had another of our daughter’s friends over to the house, with her folks. I’d been wanting to make chili, and offered to do so, but — if I’m allowed to break the fourth wall — Oriana, the visiting mom, is a huge fan of this column. She said chili is boring. So we ordered in Vietnamese from Mekong Delta. The restaurant is in one of those neighborhood locations that never works out and keeps changing hands. But Mekong Delta seems to be doing great. We all shared a papaya salad, and I got chicken pho and shrimp summer rolls.

Monday, March 25 It felt like maybe it was one of the last cold mornings before spring kicked in, and even with the pancakes yesterday, I always need to make sure I’m getting enough maple syrup in my diet. Point is, I made oatmeal, and ate it with bananas and blueberries and maple syrup that we buy by the jug when we’re up at our friend’s farm in Sandwich, New Hampshire. So, yes, for the best maple syrup in the world, I’d head straight for the sugar shack at Booty Farm on Mt. Israel Road.

I really want to state again that my body mass is probably about 80 percent bagel. If you cut me in half, I imagine mostly sesame seeds would pour out — as that’s my bagel of choice. So I really can’t believe I haven’t had one since this diet started — it’s the longest stretch since we got back from a year in Malawi (where I broke down and made bagels from scratch).

It was the day before launch. I owed everybody a million things, and was sure I’d be working until the middle of the night. At 2 p.m., I ran over to Mike’s Coffee Shop to grab something. Mike’s has been our home diner since we moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan around a decade ago. And we love it. It’s super homey, and they’re super nice, and it has a proper diner-y, pressed-tin ceiling, and a proper neon sign in the window. You always bump into friends there, and the kids are often given lollipops when you pay, whether they need a lollipop or not. Also, the owners are really good about calmly managing the weekend waiting list when it’s chaos and the throngs of folks are roaming outside waiting on tables.

I sat in the last booth and I ordered a coffee and a tuna sandwich on wheat toast, with lettuce, tomato, and onion. And a pickle spear! If there’s a picture of me up above with a sandwich in front of me, that’s the one. If there’s a picture of me without it, it’s because it’s already in my belly.

The last supper. So, a friend was having a dinner party, and I did not go to that dinner party — though, again, I’d be killing it with the food over there. But, the next day was the launch event at Greenlight Bookstore, and I’d start traveling the morning after that, and except for a night here and there, well, I’ll be hawking books on the road like a brush salesman for the next few weeks. This was basically the last night I got to be home with my wife and daughter and Calli the dog until tour slows down. Also, I usually come home from tour looking like I’ve eaten a bag of salt. That is, I’m so thankful to get to do readings and meet readers and shepherd the novel out into the world, but I will be eating a lot from after-hours menus, and CIBO Express airport food, and the day was gray and cold and some comfort food at home sounded nice.

So Rachel started kid dinner, and my daughter and I ran out to the supermarket around the block. We love going to the supermarket, me and her. We were getting ingredients for my friend Kitty’s chili recipe. When my wife was in grad school (she’s a professor), we lived in Madison, Wisconsin for three years, and our friend Kitty gave us a little book of her very Wisconsin-style dishes, which are great for this kind of weather. At the store, we also got the stuff for a green salad, because it sounded nice and I also wanted to keep my heart from exploding on the road.

At home, while my daughter ate, I got the chili into a giant pot and let it simmer until — as happens in our building — the whole floor smelled like cayenne peppers and onion. For the salad, I just used lemon and olive oil and salt, which is my single favorite dressing. And after our daughter fell asleep, Rach emerged and served up the chili. I chopped up some cilantro and chives for toppings, and we sat down at the table and dug in, with the dog underneath the table at our feet, which is my kind of dinner.

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Source: http://www.grubstreet.com/2019/03/nathan-englander-grub-street-diet.html

[kaenith]

It’s still February so it still counts as Valentine’s Day fic, right?  Right? *nervous laugh*

There’s another drawing, too, but it really belongs at the end of the story, so it’s under the spoiler cut.

Inspired by this post about a Valentine’s Day-ike holiday for Hyrule - almost all the worldbuilding about Ribbon Day is from there, so credit where it’s due, those aren’t my ideas!

Ribbon Day

8,007 words, Vio/Shadow, rated T

Summary: When Shadow is introduced to a Hyrulean holiday celebrating different kinds of relationships, he starts to question whether his feelings for Vio are really as platonic as he has believed them to be for the past two years.  But even if he lets himself admit that it’s romantic love, he can’t escape the feeling that he’s getting it wrong somehow.  That he’s missing some crucial piece.

Who would expect a shadow-demon to be able to love properly, anyway?

Featuring asexual!Shadow, internalized acephobia/self-loathing, and lots of pining.  Which makes it sound like a much sadder story than it actually is.  I swear it ends well!

Wintertime, in Shadow’s opinion, was for sleeping in late.  Of course, in his opinion most of the year was for sleeping in late, but at least in the colder months he had an excuse.  The dreary grey days just lent themselves to such behavior.

But when he shuffled out of his bedroom, yawning, he found the living space he shared with the other four Links was anything but grey and dreary.  Brightly-colored ribbons and scraps of paper adorned the walls and littered the table. Some had even fallen off onto the floor. Red sat at the center of it all, a smudge of ink on his chin as he folded an envelope.

Only a small corner of the table remained clear of craft debris, occupied instead by Vio and a stack of books.  Vio had a pen out, writing something on note paper, but he looked up and put it aside as Shadow entered the room.

“Morning,” Vio greeted him, the corner of his lips twitching with restrained amusement.

“Debatably,” Shadow replied, finishing the joke with a smirk.  He picked up one of the pieces of ribbon from the table.  “What’s with all this?”

Red gasped, and Shadow could swear his eyes actually sparkled.  “I forgot you weren’t in Hyrule last winter!  This will be your first Ribbon Day, won’t it?”

“You have an entire holiday to celebrate ribbons?”

That sent Red into a fit of giggles, so Vio answered for him.  “It’s symbolic.  Ribbon Day is about celebrating the relationships that connect us to one another. People exchange ribbons of different colors to represent how they feel – yellow for friends, green for business partners, blue for family, or for close bonds that are like family, and so on.”

“It’s a great big festival!” Red bounced in his seat with excitement. “It’s two days from today. There’s gonna be a feast, and dancing, and games, and everyone wears the ribbons they’ve received!  Here, Vio, did you want to tie your own ribbon on this?” He handed Vio the envelope he’d been working on, which already had three yellow ribbons wrapped around it.  Vio picked up another and began weaving it amongst the others.

“What’s that?” Shadow asked.

“Oh, that’s for Erune!” Red frowned, thoughtful.  “I guess you didn’t meet her, did you?  She’s a girl we met at the Blue Maiden’s village. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to send her a ribbon, too…?”

Shadow snort-laughed. “Is there a color that symbolizes ‘sorry for sending monsters to kidnap you and your friends and plunge your town into chaos’?”

“Probably not,” Red conceded.  Then his expression turned mischievous.  “Though I did ask Blue if he wanted to send her a red ribbon instead of yellow.”

“And you got hit upside the head for the trouble,” Vio reminded him.

“I think I’m missing something,” said Shadow.

“Red ribbons are for romantic love.”  Red made his hands into a heart shape, as if to demonstrate.

“I’ve told you about Erune before,” Vio said to Shadow.  “She’s the one Blue, Green, and Red all developed ridiculous crushes on.”  He stressed the word “all” with a teasing tone and a pointed look at Red. “And yet somehow, it seems you’re not including a red ribbon of your own, Red.”

“Aww, c’mon.”  Red’s ribbon may have been yellow, but his face had started to turn pink.  “It was just a silly crush, like you said.  I got over it ages ago!”

A growl from Shadow’s stomach interrupted the conversation.  “Ugh.  I’m guessing I missed breakfast, didn’t I?”

“Yep.”  Red gave him an apologetic shrug.  “You could go see if there are any leftovers in the kitchen?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Vio said.  “Arcy and the other chefs are still pretty afraid of you.”

Shadow grinned, showing teeth.  “Won’t scare ‘em if they don’t see me!” he said, heading for the door.

Red jumped to his feet, too. “I’ll come with!  I need to drop this in the mail anyway.”  He waved the ribbon-wrapped envelope, and followed Shadow out.

“Ribbon Day is one of my favorite holidays,” Red said as they walked.  He bounced with every step, like an excited puppy.

“I think you’ve said that about every holiday we’ve celebrated since I got here.”

Red laughed.  “Fair enough!  But Ribbon Day is especially great.”

He paused, then sent Shadow a sly sideways look.  “Soooo… you gonna get him a red ribbon?”

“I— what?  For who?”

“For Vio, silly,” Red said, as if this were incredibly obvious.

“That’s not—  I mean, that’s ridiculous!  You said red ribbons are for… And we’re not…”

Red watched Shadow flailing for words, his skeptical expression edging far too close to pity for Shadow’s liking.  Shadow bristled.

“I’m going to go get breakfast,” Shadow grumbled, his ears folding back.  He stalked away, heading for a shortcut through the castle courtyard. Red didn’t try to follow.

It was cold outside – not bitingly so, this close to spring, but still chiller than was comfortable. The earliest flowers of the year were clearly thinking about starting to bud, but hadn’t quite committed to it yet.  A light mist clung to Shadow’s skin and clothes and faded distant objects to blue-grey silhouettes.

Despite the weather, he wasn’t alone in the courtyard.  Up ahead, a young man and a young woman in a chef’s apron stood under a gazebo.  As Shadow approached, he could see their hands were wound together around a red ribbon as they kissed.

Shadow was struck with the sudden, vivid mental image of kissing Vio like that, fingers laced together and their breath warm between them in the cold air.  He nearly stumbled.  Dammit Red, planting a seed like that…

But he couldn’t deny the fluttery feeling in his chest at the thought.

He shook his head to clear it. He’d reached the kitchen, anyway – he could smell baking bread and feel the warmth of it. The heat of the oven fires meant they kept the doors open even in cold weather.  Slipping inside unnoticed was simple enough, especially with his shadow-powers to help.

Shadow grabbed a loaf of bread from a cooling rack as he passed, then tucked himself into an out-of-the-way corner to eat.    The bread was still warm from the oven, honey-sweet with a sprinkling of cheese baked onto the top.

In the kitchen around him, the cooks laughed and gossiped as they worked, voices rising and falling over the metal clatter of pans and the bubble of a boiling pot of soup.

“Is Ella still out there?” one of them asked.

Someone peeked out the window to check.  “Yes! She’s going to get in trouble if she keeps slacking off like this.”  They sounded more amused than annoyed, though.

There was giggling. “She and her fellow just couldn’t wait for Ribbon Day, could they?”

One of the cooks dropped her voice to a conspiratorial hush.  “Do you think we’ll be seeing a baby come next autumn?”

“They do call late-autumn babies ‘red ribbon babies’!”

Someone scoffed. “Well, my bedroom shares a wall with Ella’s, and let me tell you…”

Shortly thereafter, Shadow bolted for the door, hoping to escape before the conversation could get any more explicit.

Right.  He’d forgotten the other aspects of the sort of relationship a red ribbon implied.

He considered returning to the Links’ shared rooms, but he didn’t want to run into Red.  Or Vio for that matter – he didn’t feel like he could meet Vio’s eyes right now without every detail of his conversation with Red showing on his face.

He found a deserted, out-of-the-way stairwell instead, and sat down to finish his breakfast.  The bread seemed less enticing than it had before. He picked at it half-heartedly, wishing he’d thought to grab a cup of water, too.  It was hard to swallow past the dryness of his throat.

The problem was, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Red was right.  He cared about Vio more than he had words to describe.  He craved closeness to him, never passed up an opportunity to sling an arm over his shoulders or lean against him.  Now that the thought of kissing Vio had gotten into his head, Shadow found he couldn’t shake it, nor the wistful sort of wanting that came with it. But the thought of anything further, of sex… it still turned Shadow’s stomach, just as it always had.

And weren’t you supposed to want sex, when you were in love with someone?

It’s because you’re a shadow.  The thought crept into his mind, taunting and bitter, and Shadow’s neck prickled as he recognized Vaati’s voice in it.  You’re a creature of darkness, corrupted at your heart.  Whatever made you think someone like you would be capable of loving properly?

Shadow leapt to his feet, causing the remainder of the bread loaf to roll off his lap and down the stairs. “Shut up!”  he snarled aloud.

His voice echoed against the stone walls of the empty stairwell.

Shadow took a few deep, ragged breaths, willing his jaw to unclench.  When he felt like he could move without punching something, he walked down to the landing where the half-eaten bread loaf had fallen and picked it up.  He considered finishing it anyway – would have, if he’d had to – but he decided he wasn’t that desperate.

Instead, he went back out to the castle grounds, climbed up on the wall over the main gate, and started tossing down a few crumbs of bread to draw the attention of the local flock of cuccos.  He rationed the bread sparingly, only dropping enough to keep the birds interested. He would wait until someone walked under the archway, then drop a whole handful of crumbs on their head and watch the ensuing chaos as they were swarmed by cuccos.

An amusing game, most of the time, though his heart wasn’t really in it today.

A blond-haired head passed by under the archway, and Shadow scattered a handful of crumbs before realizing – too late – who it was.

“Hey!”  Green cried, swatting at his hair and clothes.  An ambitious cucco leapt up to peck his ear, and Green yelped.  He danced in place, trying to shake off both bread and birds.

Oops.

Shadow considered taking this as an opportunity for a head start, but fleeing would only prolong the inevitable.  When Green escaped the cuccos and climbed the ladder to the top of the wall, Shadow was still sitting there, doing his best to look appropriately contrite.  Which wasn’t easy, faced with the sight of Green with cucco feathers sticking out of his disarrayed hair.

Green held out a hand, and Shadow passed him what was left of the bread without complaint.  There was less than a fist-sized chunk left, anyway. Green sat down beside him and started pulling the remaining bread apart into smaller pieces, then dropped it to the cuccos all at once.

“Any particular reason you’re up here bribing the livestock into causing trouble for you?” Green asked.

Shadow chewed the inside of his lip, thinking.  “What is it supposed to feel like, when you love someone?”

Green seemed taken aback. “Well, it feels like caring about someone an awful lot.  Wanting to prevent them from coming to harm.”  He gave Shadow an odd, confused look.  “But I’m pretty sure you already knew that.”

Below, the cuccos still pecked about hopefully, in case any more food happened to rain from the sky.

Shadow considered correcting Green, explaining that he meant romantic love, red-ribbon love…  He stayed quiet.  He’d already spent what emotional openness he had in him for the day, thank you very much.

Green didn’t press for details, just sat there with him for a while longer in silence, in case Shadow changed his mind about talking.

They could see a good deal of the castle grounds from their vantage point atop the gate.  Below, people bustled back and forth, preparing for the upcoming festival.  A maid walked past with an armful of streamers, followed by a fluffy grey cat batting at the trailing ends.  The cuccos scattered at the cat’s approach, but the cat was too distracted to care about the birds.

After several minutes, Green stood up.  “No antagonizing the cuccos,” he said, using his ‘leader’ voice that sounded so much like his father.  “Or using the cuccos to antagonize people.  If I catch you causing trouble again today, I’ll put you on stable-shoveling duty to keep you busy.”  He paused long enough for Shadow to wrinkle his nose and nod grudging agreement, then added in his normal voice, “Please tell me you at least got Blue, too?”

That got a snicker out of Shadow.  “’Fraid not. He didn’t walk by.”

Green heaved an exaggerated sigh.  “Perhaps it’s for the best.  If that happened and I didn’t get to see it, I’d be very disappointed.”

He gave Shadow a friendly clap on the shoulder, then climbed back down the wall.

Perhaps it was too awkward to question Green about romantic love, but Shadow knew where he could find the answer.  The same place Vio always went when he needed answers: the castle library.

But when Shadow poked his head around the door of the large, high-ceilinged room, he realized a flaw in his plan: Vio was already there.  He was sitting at desk near one of the tall windows, looking down at a sheet of note paper with a slight frown of concentration.  Light streamed through the window behind him, casting him in a golden halo glow.

Shadow’s heart thudded in his chest.  He ducked back out the door.

Normally, Shadow loved being in the library with Vio.  They’d spent many hours there, talking or reading together, or just sharing companionable silence while they each did their own thing.  But the subject Shadow needed to research now…  No, he absolutely could not do that while Vio was in the same room.

But when Shadow checked back an hour later, Vio was still there.  The sun in the window had sunk lower, and the pile of notes on the table had grown taller, but nothing else had changed.  It continued like this for the rest of the day.  Whatever research project Vio had become embroiled in, it kept him there right up until the librarian came by to lock up for the night.

The next morning at breakfast, Shadow poked at his scrambled eggs and wondered if he’d have to break in to the library during off-hours just to get a shot at it without Vio being there. Even sitting next to Shadow at the breakfast table, Vio still had his nose in that book, scribbling away at his notes.  Shadow reached over and stole a strip of bacon right off Vio’s plate.  Vio didn’t so much as blink.

What was he even reading about?  Shadow glanced sideways, trying to read over Vio’s shoulder without being too obvious about it, but the angle was too awkward and the text too small for him to decipher from just a quick look.

He was distracted from his endeavor by Princess Zelda sitting down at their table, between Red and Green. She was dressed for archery, wearing bracers instead of her usual silk gloves, with her red hair pulled back in a braid. As soon as they all finished exchanging a brief round of “good mornings”, she turned to Vio.

“You’ll be participating in the archery tournament tomorrow, yes?” she asked.

Vio looked up from his notes with a slight startled jump that made it clear he’d only been listening with half an ear, and being addressed directly had caught him off-guard. “Yes?”

“Excellent!”  The princess clapped her hands together. “Care to come and practice with me after breakfast?  I refuse to embarrass myself by being rusty tomorrow.”

Vio hesitated only a fraction of a second before nodding.  “Of course, Zelda.  Though I doubt you’d embarrass yourself, regardless.”

Zelda beamed at him.

Red leaned over the table to talk to Green and Blue.  “Which of you d’you think will do better at the carnival games tomorrow?”

“Me, of course!” they both said in unison.  While the two of them descended into playful squabbling, Zelda gave Red an amused look.

“You just want them to win a stuffed animal for you, don’t you?”

“Guilty as charged!” said Red, looking smugly cheerful and not at all guilty.

After breakfast, Zelda and Vio left for the archery field, and Shadow had the opportunity he’d been waiting for.

As he stepped into the library, it occurred to Shadow that he’d never been here without Vio before. It felt different by himself, not quite right.  The already-large room seemed even bigger than usual, cold and empty and quiet. Shadow hummed, some half-remembered tune, trying to fill the silence as he skimmed his fingertips across the shelves.

With all the time he’d spent here with Vio, he’d learned the library’s organization system fairly well. The section he was looking for now wasn’t one he’d frequented before, but he didn’t know where else to look: romance novels.

He picked one at random and sat down on the floor to read.  Pages fluttered as he leafed through them, looking for a section that seemed to describe the protagonist’s feelings for her beloved.  The writing was flowery, full of convoluted metaphors that Shadow could only puzzle out about half the time.  Shadow frowned down at the page.  He was fairly sure that “cerulean orbs” was meant to refer to the protagonist’s eyes.  But then again, perhaps she was a mage of some kind and the orbs were magic crystals?

In several places, he got the feeling that innuendo was being made, but couldn’t work out what it was, and trying to do so only made his head hurt. Shadow put the book back and started looking for another.  Maybe one with a male protagonist?  

The next book described feelings like fire, burning through the veins and centered low in the gut. Shadow tried to think back to earlier days, to the Fire Temple, where this had all began.  He remembered giddy, bubbling joy – or had that just been the fruit juice?  He’d been practically light-headed with it, as if Vio’s presence itself was intoxicating.

Fire on the other hand… that had come later, and it hadn’t been pleasant.  Fire had been rage and tears burning in his throat, betrayal like a gaping chasm. Somehow he didn’t think that was what the book was describing.

Nowadays being around Vio didn’t feel like fire or like being drunk.  It felt more like being in the eye of a storm – a small pocket of calm and peace, no matter how loud or bright the rest of the world could be.

He flipped through a few more pages of the book, but it didn’t get any more relatable.

The next book seemed promising at first.  Shadow read two pages of it, then flung it away from himself with a vengeance.  It landed face-down, with the spine pulled open and the pages squashed against the ground.  Shadow felt a twinge of guilt.  Vio wouldn’t approve— but no, actually, he felt Vio would understand. That particular book was stupid.

Shadow leaned back against the bookshelf, pulling his knees up to his chest and crossing his arms over them.  Every book he’d tried, as different as they all were, had one thing in common: they all described sexual feelings.  And if anything, Shadow was more certain now than ever that he didn’t experience those feelings.

See?  The taunting thought-voice had returned.  You’re not like them.  You’re broken.  Defective.

Shadow’s ears tipped back, and he clenched his fists until his nails dug into his palms.

It’s only to be expected.  What could a monster know of love?

Shadow stood and paced up and down the aisle a few times.  There had to be at least an hour left until Vio would return, but Shadow didn’t have it in him to continue reading.  It would be pointless anyway.  Much as he hated it, he had the answer he’d come looking for.

He picked up the book he’d thrown, and was immediately tempted to throw it again, just to have thrown something.  His blood thrummed with restless, angry energy.

He restrained himself enough to put the book back on the shelf, then left the library and headed for the knights’ training field.

There weren’t many people in the field when he arrived.  Artura had a group of young squires going through basic fencing stances, but that was all.  They gave Shadow a brief wave of greeting, but didn’t try to speak to him or approach him. Good.  Shadow didn’t think he was capable of having a polite conversation just now.

He went directly to a padded training dummy and slammed his elbow into it hard enough to send it rocking back on its weighted base.  When it swayed back up, he met it with a palm strike.  He continued to pummel the dummy with elbows, fists, and feet, channeling hurt and anger and flinging it out in the form of violence.

He imagined the head of the dummy as Vaati’s dumb, smug eyeball, and what he’d intended to be a punch turned into a clawed-hand strike that shredded the canvas surface of the dummy. Shadow stumbled back, breathing hard. Sweat stung his eyes – sweat, he told himself, not tears – and he wiped at his face with the back of a hand.

Someone started clapping, and Shadow looked up to see Blue standing several paces away.  He carried two wooden training swords tucked under one of his arms.

Now that Shadow had stopped attacking, Blue approached and examined the shredded training dummy. “Man, between your anger issues and mine, we go through these things like crazy.  I think I can probably patch this up though, no need for a new one quite yet.”

He turned back to Shadow, frowning dubiously.  “This the part where I’m supposed to ask you if you want to talk about what’s wrong?”

Shadow gave him an incredulous look.  “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

Blue slumped in obvious relief.  “Thank the Goddesses.  So, you want to spar?”  He held up one of the practice swords.

“Sure.”  Shadow could feel himself starting to grin as he raised a hand to catch the sword Blue tossed to him.

“Just do some proper warm-ups first,” Blue cautioned.  “I know you didn’t before demolishing that dummy, and I don’t want to hear the lecture Green would give if one of us got an easily-preventable training injury.”

The sparring helped, giving Shadow somewhere to channel his energy and something else to focus on. Blue was a good fighter, much as Shadow was never, ever going to tell him that to his face.  It took concentration for Shadow to hold his own, especially without using his shadow powers.

Well.  Without getting caught using them, anyway.

When Shadow returned to the Links’ shared quarters that night, Vio, Green, and Blue were playing a card game, while Red fidgeted with something in the mass of craft supplies that still littered the table.

Shadow dropped onto the couch next to Vio, leaning into his side.  They’d sat like this countless times before – it felt so natural Shadow had done it without thinking – but this time he found himself bracing for some sign of discomfort or rejection from Vio.

It didn’t happen.  Vio shifted so that his arm was draped across Shadow’s shoulders instead of being pinned awkwardly between them, Green passed Shadow a hand of cards, and they continued without comment.

Several rounds of the game later, Shadow tossed the ace of clubs onto the table, and Blue frowned.

“Hang on a minute,” he said. “I played the ace of clubs two turns ago.  It should still be in the discard pile.”  He gave Shadow a suspicious look.

“Well I couldn’t very well use the ace of diamonds,” Shadow huffed.  “Vio’s had it tucked up his sleeve for the past five minutes.”

“Hey, don’t sell me out!” Vio complained.  At some point during the game, his arm had slipped from Shadow’s shoulders to his waist – giving him the perfect angle to poke Shadow in the ribs.

Blue made indignant noises, and Green clapped him on the shoulder, laughing.  “You should know better than to play cards with those two if you don’t want creative interpretations of the rules!”

Before grumbling could escalate into an argument, Red interrupted by dumping a pile of ribbons on the table.

“We need to be ready for Ribbon Day tomorrow!” Red said, passing them each a bundle of narrow yellow and blue ribbons.  “I thought it’d be nice if we take turns braiding them – that way we’ll each have something we all worked on together.”

Yellow for friends, blue for family.  Shadow couldn’t help smiling a little as he looked down at the ribbons.

“Someone’s going to have to show me what I’m supposed to be doing here,” Shadow said.  “This is more string than I know what to do with.”

Red leaned forward to point at the ribbons Shadow held.  “First, take these two pieces and cross them, like this…”

Shadow settled back into the warmth of Vio’s side, following Red’s instructions and listening to the others’ quiet conversation.  

Ribbon Day dawned no warmer than the days preceding it, but at least significantly drier.  The chilly grey mist had given way to clear blue skies, with only the occasional wisp of white cloud, as if the sky itself were joining in the holiday spirit.

The castle gates had been thrown wide open.  Throngs of festival-goers wandered freely between the castle grounds and the streets of Castle Town.  In the fields between, booths seemed to have sprouted overnight like wildflowers, all bright colors and fluttering streamers.  Their proprietors shouted cheerfully, advertising games of skill and chance, or last-minute gifts and ribbons, or festival food.  The air was full of the scent of an especially popular pastry, made in the shape of ribbons for the holiday.

There wasn’t a person in sight without at least one ribbon.  Doe-eyed couples walked hand-in hand, bedecked in romantic red.  Groups of similar-looking children shouted and played, their arms wrapped in the blue of family.  Store owners proudly displayed green to signify their successful business partnerships.  Argumentative neighbors exchanged truce-grey.  Yellow friendship ribbons were everywhere.

Red had done his best to wake them all early for the festival.  Shadow had been the only one to successfully resist, which earned him a few more hours of precious sleep, but also meant he’d missed the others leaving. Fortunately, the archery contest would be starting soon, and Shadow knew they’d all be there, so he made his way towards the tournament field.

A natural hillside, lined with benches, sloped down to a flattened field where the tournaments were being held.  Fabric awnings had been set up to protect the viewers from rain, though with the change in the weather they had become sun-shades instead.

It was a crowded part of the festival.  The archery competition seemed likely to be especially popular, since both the princess of the land and one of the heroes participating.

Vio was busy helping a few other knights set up the archery targets, so Shadow had to content himself with shouting “good luck!” across the field.  Vio looked up when he heard and waved in return.

Zelda stood near the edge of the field, surrounded by a crowd of festival-goers eager to meet their princess.  She had forgone her royal crown for the day in favor of a wreath of ribbons – yellow from friends, blue from family, green from political allies, and even a single strand of red that was sure to make rumors fly.  She smiled and waved when she caught sight of Shadow, and the throng of people around her parted to let the princess speak to her friend.

“Good luck today, Zelda,” he said.  He pulled out the yellow ribbon he’d been carrying in his sleeve and presented it to her.

She took the ribbon and added it to her already-elaborate wreath.  Then she produced a yellow ribbon of her own that had been tucked into her archery quiver and handed it to him.  “You had better be wishing me more luck than you are Vio,” she said, her grin turning cheeky.  “I know you like him best, but after we practiced together yesterday I’m afraid to say I’m confident I need the luck more.  He doesn’t need any extra help.”  She gave a put-upon sigh, but the laughter in her eyes showed her true feelings on the matter.

He took the offered ribbon, tying it to his wrist with the others.  “Then I’ll wish you the best of luck.”

Shadow noticed a small girl standing nearby, holding a toy bow and arrow, shifting back and for from foot to foot.  The child was clearly desperate to speak to the princess, but too polite to interrupt. “I won’t keep you from your adoring fans any longer,” Shadow said.

“And I won’t keep you from your spot in the stands!  Red has been trying to get your attention for a while now.”  She pointed over his shoulder, and Shadow turned to see that, indeed, Red was seated under one of the cloth awnings with Blue and Green, waving both arms above his head.  With a quick farewell to Zelda and another wave to Vio, Shadow went to join them.

We saved you a spot!” Red said, patting the bench beside him.   “We’re gonna have the best view from here.”

The crowd settled somewhat as people found places to sit.  Out on the field, the knights finished setting up the last of the targets, and then, with the chiming of the hour, the competition began.

They started with a few dozen archers, but that number dwindled rapidly as each round increased the shooting distance and competitors were eliminated.  Vio and Zelda both progressed without much difficulty, as Shadow had known they would.  Finally, it came down to five archers, Vio and Zelda among them.

The final round had a twist unique to the ribbon day festival – they’d be shooting one at a time for this round, and in addition to increasing the shooting distance again, two knights came back out onto the field to set up a scaffolding framework between the archers and the target.  Ribbons hung from the frame, nearly every color of the festival: all the common ones exchanged between festival-goers, and even the more uncommon ones, like the orange that was sometimes tied to trees as a thanks for the blessings of nature, or the purple that represented the unseen beings and spirits inhabiting Hyrule.  Only black wasn’t present, its purpose as remembrance for the dead considered too solemn for the event.

It would be hard enough to aim past the shifting field of fabric, but the real prize was the bonus points awarded to those who managed to catch a ribbon on their arrow and pin it to the target.

The first archer to step up to the line – a knight a few years older than the Links – seemed disoriented by the movement of the ribbons, and her first shot went a little wide. She adjusted quickly, and her next two were much more accurate, but she didn’t catch any ribbons.

The next competitor got in two clean shots, then caught a grey ribbon, and a cheer went up in the stands. Grey wasn’t one of the higher point values, and the weight of the ribbon had pulled his arrow a little off-course, but he’d still made a respectable score.

The third pinned a yellow ribbon, and then it was Vio’s turn.

Red, Green, Blue, and Shadow cheered, along with a good portion of the rest of the crowd, as Vio stepped up to the line with his usual graceful composure.  Vio took a deep breath – the rise and fall of his shoulders visible even from the stands – lifted his bow, nocked an arrow, and let it go.

His first shot flew straight through the field of ribbons and struck the center of the target, sending scatted applause through the crowd.

Vio lowered his bow, turned to look up at the hillside.  He found the other Links – no doubt helped by Red’s enthusiastic waving – and for a moment his eyes met Shadow’s.  Then he turned back to the target and drew his next arrow.  This one arced high, catching the purple ribbon and pinning it to the target just shy of the middle ring.

The crowd roared encouragement.  Even as he joined in the yelling, Shadow found himself oddly sentimental. Purple.  The color for acknowledging the magical beings of Hyrule. Of course, it was only a coincidence. Purple was one of the highest value ribbons, points-wise, and it was Vio’s own signature color.  Of course he’d aim for that one.

Then Vio’s final arrow pinned the red ribbon dead-center to the target, right under the purple one.

Shadow felt like he’d had the breath knocked out of him.  He was barely conscious of the crowd rising to their feet around him, until Red pulling on his arm on one side and Green on the other brought him to his feet as well to join in the cheering.  Shadow sought Vio’s eyes through the chaos, but Vio didn’t look at the stands as he went to retrieve his arrows and the ribbons he’d captured.

Eventually the onlookers settled back.  A hush of whispered excitement filled the air, half appreciation for the impressive shooting they’d just seen, half anticipation for the last contestant, their princess.  Shadow only half paid attention, too busy trying to talk himself out of reading too much into Vio’s shooting.  It was a coincidence.  It had to be. Both of those ribbons were worth a lot of points, it made sense he’d aim for them.  It didn’t mean anything.

While Shadow mulled this over, the crowd around him cheered Zelda on as she scored well and caught an orange ribbon.

Shadow had mostly dissuaded his overactive imagination and tamped down the dizzy feeling by the time the rounds of shooting ended.  After Zelda collected her arrows and the orange ribbon she’d pinned, all the competitors filed back onto the field to bow to the audience and shake hands with each other.

Vio, having scored the highest, was awarded first place, and all the finalists were allowed to keep any ribbons they caught during their round.

The stands once again became a slow-moving shuffle of people as everyone got up to leave.  Shadow and the others made their way down to the field to congratulate their friends, but it was slow going considering how many people were moving to do the same.

As they waited their turn, Shadow noticed a cluster of six or so teenage girls, giggling and whispering, sending glances toward the archers.  The girl in the center of the group twisted a pink ribbon nervously between her hands, blushing scarlet as her friends poked and teased her.

Come to think of it, Shadow had seen a pink ribbon among those in the final round, too, but he didn’t know the meaning of that color.  “Hey Red.”  He jostled Red’s elbow.  “What’s pink for?”

“Huh?”  Red followed his gaze to the group of girls. “Oh!  Pink is for secret admirers.  Tradition is that if you tie a pink ribbon to your crush’s doorknob, they’ll notice you.”  Red laughed, then dropped his voice quieter so only Shadow would be able to hear him over the crowd.  “Last year Blue and Green got in a fight over which of them more of the ones on our front door were meant for.  No one could get all the way in to our rooms, of course, so it was pretty difficult to tell. Some people had enough foresight to write our names on them, and Blue was unbelievably smug that eight of them had his name and only seven had Green’s.”

Shadow started to snicker at the thought of the petty squabble, but then something occurred to him and he felt a cold weight in his stomach, like he’d swallowed a handful of snow. “You guys get a lot of pink ribbons, huh?”

Red faltered, realizing the implications of what he’d said.  “Um.  Well. Yeah!”  His voice wavered a bit.  “We are heroes and all.  I guess it makes us kinda popular!”

Shadow wanted, urgently, to ask how many Vio got.  He didn’t. He looked for the girls again, but they’d been lost in the crowd.  Which archer had they been fawning over?  Would one of them leave a ribbon on the heroes’ door?  Would one of them write Vio’s name on it?

He’d be better off.

Shadow nearly cursed aloud as the bitter, taunting thoughts resurfaced.

Vio is one of the heroes of Hyrule.  There are so many out there who’d happily be with him.  And any one of them would be better for him than a demon from another world who can’t even love properly.

Vio deserves a full, complete relationship.  Not the pale imitation of one, with a pale imitation of a person.

Shadow stopped in his tracks.  “No,” he growled under his breath.  Red looked back at him in confusion, but Shadow ignored him.  “No, I’m not listening to you.  If nothing else, Vio deserves my honesty.”

In a louder voice, Shadow called out, “Don’t wait for me, I’ve got something to do!”  He darted off before any of the others could reply.

Shadow wove through the crowd, ducking and dodging and not hesitating to use his elbows when applicable. He made his way out of the stands, angling for where he remembered seeing booths selling ribbons earlier. The press of people thinned out somewhat as he got further from the tournament field, and it wasn’t too long before he arrived, out of breath, at the booth he was looking for.

The woman managing the store looked a little alarmed to see Shadow run up suddenly out of nowhere, but she put on a polite smile anyway.  “What can I help you with, sir?”

“That,” said Shadow, not feeling much up to words, but pointing to a length of silky-looking deep red ribbon to get his point across.  He pushed a few rupees towards the woman.

Her smile slipped a little. Probably his look of pained determination wasn’t the expression she usually associated with people buying declarations of love.  But rupees are rupees, so she took the money, handed him the ribbon, and wished him good day.

Feeling a little bad about being rude, Shadow did his best to smile in response before turning and running back the way he came.

The crowd at the tournament field had dispersed a little in the time Shadow had been gone, but only a little.  It still took a bit of effort to make his way to the front, where he found Green, Red, and Blue talking with Zelda, but no sign of an archer in a purple tunic.

“Is Vio here?” Shadow asked.

The four of them jumped a little, surprised at his sudden reappearance.

Zelda’s eyes flicked down to the red ribbon in his hands, and comprehension dawned.  “I’m afraid not,” she said.  “You just missed him.  He went back to your rooms to put his archery gear away.”

Shadow gave a little huff of frustration, but nodded and turned around once more to forge his way through the crowd.

When he got to their living quarters, he found the front door already adorned with several pink ribbons. His stomach dropped a little at the sight, but he resisted the urge to check them for names, and instead pushed through into the common area.

This part of the castle was quiet and dark, with everyone else out enjoying the festival.  Shadow could hear his own footsteps as he crossed the room to stand in front of Vio’s closed bedroom door.  He paused.  The thought flitted across his mind that he could leave the ribbon on the doorknob and run. He rejected the idea almost at once. Shadow was many things, but he wasn’t a coward.

He lifted a hand to knock, but his knuckles had barely brushed the wood when the door swung open.

Vio blinked at him, surprised.  “Shadow? What are you… oh!”  His eyes widened at the sight of the red ribbon Shadow carried.

“Vio… I’ve got something I need to tell you.”

“So I can see.”  Vio’s voice was quiet.  He still looked a little shocked.  “Would you like to sit down?”

Shadow nodded, and Vio moved aside to let him into the room.  The window had a bench seat, and they sat down there, side-by-side.  The comfortable, familiar setting steadied Shadow somewhat, though there was only so much it could do against the rising tide of nerves that threatened to overwhelm him.

For a long while, Shadow stared down at the ribbon in his hands in silence.  Vio waited patiently, letting Shadow gather his thoughts, until…

“Is it possible to l-love someone romantically without wanting to have sex with them?” Shadow finally burst out, the words running together in his stumbling haste.  Now that he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “Because I really think I’m in love with you.  You mean the most to me of anyone in the world, and I love being close to you, and I think I want to k… to kiss you.  But I don’t… I’ve never wanted sex, not with anyone.  And you deserve better than that, you deserve someone who’s not broken and I—“

“Shadow!”  Vio sounded horrified.  Shadow’s already-nervous stomach twisted itself into further knots.

“You are not broken,” Vio insisted, his voice firm.

“But I—“

“Wait here.” Vio got up, crossed the room to his desk, and picked up a large, leather-bound book. Shadow watched him, confusion beginning to overpower sick terror within him.

Vio brought the book over and sat back down next to Shadow. Up close, Shadow recognized it as the same book Vio had been poring over the past couple days, and his confusion deepened. About a third of the way through, several loose sheets of paper had been tucked between the pages. Vio let the book fall open to that point, removed the notes, and passed the book to Shadow. Their shoulders brushed as he leaned in closer to point out one passage in particular.

Shadow frowned down at the text. At first glance, it seemed much like any of the other scientific tomes from the library. The writing was small and dense, and academic enough to trip Shadow up in places. Still, now that he was able to study it more closely than the quick glance he’d taken at breakfast, he was able to piece it together.

The paragraph Vio had pointed to read:

“It has been observed that a small subset of the population lacks the experience of sexual attraction altogether. Studies have uncovered no link or common factor between these non-sexual people, other than their lack of sexual attraction. As such, current theory holds that it is simply a normal, if uncommon, occurrence. A lack of attraction to any gender is just as natural as attraction to any gender or combination thereof.”

Shadow sat back, stunned. “I’m… not broken.”

“You are not,” Vio agreed vehemently.  “And… you might want to read these as well.”  He handed Shadow the loose notes that had been tucked between the pages.

Vio’s handwriting was unmistakable.  So this was what he’d been putting so much time into writing lately?  It seemed to be several attempts at a letter, each one having been covered in crossing-outs and margin notes before being rejected, and another attempt begun.

Shadow chose the most complete-looking and started reading.

My Dear Shadow,

I think it’s no secret that I am deeply fond of you.  For some time now, I have been aware that these feelings are of a romantic nature.

But I fear But it would be disingenuous of me to pursue such a relationship without first telling you this: the phenomenon described in this book, an innate lack of ability to feel sexual attraction, applies to me.  I had wondered if such a thing might develop as the two of us grew closer, but in nearly two years, it seems it’s not to be.

Sexual feelings or no, the fact remains that I am truly fond in love with you.  If you are still interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, even knowing it would be a sexless one, then I would be honored

you have my heart

I would

It was there that the note trailed off into a frustrated scribble.  Apparently, Vio had been unsure how to conclude.

Shadow couldn’t hold back a short laugh, which came out so choked it was nearly a sob. “You get so formal when you’re nervous,” he teased.

Vio gave him a wry grin. “Well, I thought I was writing to tell the person I love something that might be a romantic deal breaker to him.”

“It’s not.  Goddesses, Vi, this is the furthest thing from a deal breaker.”

Shadow was still holding the red ribbon he’d bought at the festival.  Closing Vio’s book and setting it aside, Shadow turned so he was facing Vio more directly and held the ribbon out to him.  Rather than take it, Vio held out his own wrist, so that Shadow could tie the ribbon around it.  He did so, his hands shaking a little from the lingering effects of the emotional gamut he’d just run.

Then Vio lifted his other hand and offered Shadow the red and purple ribbons he’d won during the archery contest.  Affection warm in his chest, Shadow held out his arm for to Vio tie the ribbons to. Vio deliberately wound them in such a way that the arrow holes would show.  Thinking back to the moment during the contest when Vio’s eyes had met his, Shadow realized that Vio really had chosen those two ribbons on purpose.  The fact that they had been won for Shadow made the gift that much more precious.

As soon as the ribbons were secure, Shadow wrapped Vio in a hug and buried his face against Vio’s shoulder. When Vio returned the hug, it felt like something being set right in the world, some puzzle piece that had been ever so slightly off-kilter finally falling into its proper place.

They pulled back, just far enough to look each other in the eye.  Vio tilted his forehead against Shadow’s and lifted one hand to cradle the side of Shadow’s face.  Shadow leaned into the warmth of the touch, savoring it.  He was still trying to get his head around the fact that he could have this.  That Vio wanted this too, the same way he did, and wouldn’t be expecting more than Shadow could give.

He said as much, and Vio’s expression was a mix of amusement and sadness at the irony of it.  “I’ve been worrying about this for some time,” Vio said, his voice soft.  Close as they were, there was no need to speak louder.  “That you’d be disappointed, or upset.”

“I was in denial until two days ago, but I think I’ve done more than enough worrying since then to make up for my late start.”

“We may be a pair of idiots for worrying and pining, when we could have had this all the sooner if we’d just spoken about it.”  Vio brushed his fingers through Shadow’s hair.  “But at least we’re a matching pair.”

“We always have been,” Shadow replied.

They stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads together, breathing in unison.  Then Vio spoke again.

“You said something earlier, about wanting to kiss me?”

Shadow gave a startled little laugh.  “Yeah. I did.”

When they pressed their lips together in their first kiss, they were both smiling.

[soundincomestrategies]

Robert Schiller On Inflation With David Scranton

Robert Shiller

David Scranton: Hello and welcome back to the Income Generation, I’m David Scranton your host. Each week we provide you with insights, thoughts and financial remedies to give you greater perspective on many of the challenges you face. Those challenges whether you’re in or approaching retirement and even more importantly we present workable solutions. Today’s show we’ll focus on one of the greater challenges we all face in retirement and that is the erosion of buying power. The timing is perfect because on today’s show we have a Nobel laureate and now perhaps the most renowned name in the field of asset, prices and inflation. If you haven’t already guessed I’m talking about economist Robert Shiller I’m looking forward to going one on one with Shiller later in the show. As we both discussed the driving forces that affect prices. You know every time the price you pay for something goes up, you can view it as the value of your money instead going down, think about it. How much did you pay for your first house? Do you remember? Well if you bought it in nineteen sixty the median house price back then was eleven thousand nine hundred dollars. However, if you bought it five years later in nineteen sixty-five you found the price to have grown to twenty thousand dollars that is a sixty-eight percent increase in five years. During that time of generally low inflation housing inflation average ten point nine four percent over that five year period, one of things we’ll address today is that during that same period the government’s figures show that inflation overall averaged only one point three percent. Ten point nine four versus one point three housing inflation was almost ten times the general inflation rate during that five year period. Here’s another example, in nineteen sixty the average new car cost two thousand six hundred dollars well you have to cough up nine thousand four hundred dollars for the average car ten years later in nineteen seventy. That’s a two hundred and sixty-one percent increase, now during those same ten years the government’s inflation numbers reported an average increase of just one point eight percent per year. That’s an enormous difference, now the basket of goods and services that the government uses to measure inflation will never exactly match what you and I are buying. But we all know that shelter and transportation are indeed big ticket items on almost everyone’s list and almost all of us will have to buy another car some point during the period in which we’re tired. What’s more medical costs are also a budget item that most retirees simply cannot afford and those are rising rapidly, much higher than the overall inflation rate my point is simple. if your cost of living increases are tied to the government’s measure of inflation, the CPI index but your actual increase costs are based upon the real world you may have trouble after just a few short years in retirement and that is what today’s show addresses. Here’s something to think about, earlier were you able to remember what you paid for your first house? I bet it seemed like a lot of money at the time but now think about what you paid for your last car, I’m willing to bet that the car cost much, much more than the first house. That is real world inflation in the real world one dollar would purchase sixty-two percent of a big mac burger back in nineteen eighty-six. The same dollar today will only buy twenty-three percent of a big mac burger that’s almost one third of the food for your hard earned dollars, that’s what’s happening in the real world. Rather than the government controlled world of numbers. The average person hopes to be retired for at least thirty years yet their buying power can be crippled during this time, it’s possible that in the next ten years our dollar may only buy seventy-five cents or even fifty cents worth of goods or services. They also know they’re going to need a good inflation hedge so I’m glad you’re with us today because ignoring this potential problem is the worst way to deal with it. Today you’re going to be learning what served as an inflation hedge and what doesn’t, most retiree’s know you have to earn enough interest or dividends to satisfy today’s income needs. But the question becomes how much extra do you need for inflation? And do you invest in things for growth for the future or do you just try to earn enough extra interest and dividends so that you can satisfy inflation that way? The problem is that most assets simply are not good inflation hedges during periods of high inflation so don’t automatically assume that stocks for example are a better inflation hedge than bonds. In fact in many periods throughout history bonds have actually proven to be a better inflation hedge than stocks. We’ll also talk about income from sources that may seem to be protected, income from sources like social security or a pension with the cost of living benefits. I found in my own investment advisory practice that social security raises when they do occur are often eaten up by the rising cost of Medicare Part B. And cost of living increases are not ironclad or guaranteed in the traditional defined benefit pension plans either so the problem is simple, even if you’ve invested so that some of your income sources more than allow for inflation. If you don’t have an inflation hedge effectively on pensions or social security then the burden on those investments is much, much higher than you can imagine. Why? Because not only do those investments have to provide inflation hedge on themselves but also on some of these other fixed income sources. The good news is today we’ll have answers for you as I mentioned today’s guest Robert Shiller, won a Nobel Prize in Economics two years ago he’s a sterling professor of economics at Yale. And he’s most celebrated for his work which centers on asset pricing including the effects of rational and irrational markets and intentional manipulation of demand in competition. You’ve no doubt heard of the Case Shiller real estate indices which were founded with Karl Case and Robert Shiller, they are the leading measure of U.S. residential real estate prices. They tracked changes in U.S. residential real estate on a regular basis, his work on pricing has gained the respect of many in this field. Many who at first were a little bit less impressed with his unconventional theories well, his work related to asset prices and has over time become the standard of thought. I take personal pride in welcoming the first Nobel laureate to joining me on the Income Generation. Then during the second half of the show, I get to sit down with Marty Johnson. Together we’ll uncover solutions that you can use to help protect the buying power of your savings now and in retirement. This of course is a topic that will always be of high importance to you the Income Generation.

Market Breakdown:

David Scranton: So where are we right now with inflation in the United States? Well if you follow what happened in December when the Federal Reserve finally raised short term interest rate up from zero. You’ll know the current inflation rate is low, in fact, it’s very low just about a half percent and this is according to the latest government figures. In fact, that’s one reason the Fed gave for not setting short term interest rates higher right now. Low inflation is one sign that the economy may still be struggling, Fed chairman Janet Yellen said she’d like to see inflation rise to at least two percent per year by the end of two thousand and seventeen. Personally I have some doubts about that which I’ll talk about a bit later in the show right now though, I want to talk more about just how the government calculates inflation. Averages and percentages are important when it comes to setting economic policies but they also can be very deceiving. They can also be manipulated in fact, that’s one of the reasons they often seem out of whack with reality as consumers, and we’ve all felt that way about the reported inflation rate for quite some time. And the older you get the more out of whack you can see. Retirees and people nearing retirement feel the effects of inflation more acutely than younger consumers. Many of you already know this but that’s due in part to the ever increasing costs of medical care which people over age sixty-two tend to consume double the average for all consumers overall. As most people know the Bureau of Labor Statistics measures inflation and they said earlier using the C.P.I. index what’s called the Consumer Price Index. Since nineteen eighty-two inflation for the United States based upon the C.P.I. is risen by an average of two point nine percent a year. But does that really seem accurate? We’ve already discussed the higher inflation rate in cars and homes during certain portions of this period. But think about this, even a loaf of bread in nineteen eighty-two cost fifty-three cents on average, today the average is two dollars and thirty cents that’s a four point four percent increase. The point is as you pay for food and medicine, clothing, housing and everything else you need each and every day reality can feel way out of whack with the Labor Department’s numbers. The effects of inflation can feel like they’re eating into your income and your savings to the tune of a lot more than two point nine percent. And if you take the time to do your own calculations your numbers will probably even bear that out now, there are several reasons for this I’d like to focus on one in particular because it’s something a lot of people probably don’t think about. As you’re probably aware the U.S. government is the country’s biggest provider of the old fashioned type pensions known as defined benefit pension plans. What’s more every January the government provides people taking Social Security with a cost of living adjustment or what’s called a COLA increase. The stated goal for Social Security is to ensure that the purchasing power of Social Security benefits is not eroded by inflation. The percentage of the COLA, the cost of living adjustment each year just like the increase on guaranteed COLA’s and government pensions is based upon that C.P.I. In other words, it’s apparent to me that the government has an axe to grind when it comes to reporting the CPI. You see, if they publish a really, really high number then all those pension and Social Security checks need to be increased by that amount of money. That would really add up over time as an added expense to a government that has already have record amounts of debt. So my saying the government purposely fudges the inflation numbers in order to weasel out of its obligation to retirees. No, but I am saying that percentages and averages can be calculated and spun in a lot of different ways as the saying goes, figures don’t lie but liars figure. And I’m saying the government does have what appears to be a motive for reporting an inflation rate that’s on the low side. Actually you could argue they have another motive for doing that and this is called tips, these are treasury inflation protected securities. Like regular government bonds tips pay interest twice a year based upon a fixed rate. But what makes them different and attractive to some investors is that their principal value adjust up and down based upon the Consumer Price Index, the CPI. The payment you receive at the end is based upon this adjusted principal amount as well as the payments of interest over time. The goal for this is to give investors who buy these tips and inflation hedge. In a way though, this is like me loaning a friend a lot of money and letting him decide how much interest to pay back on top of the principal, odds are he’d set a very low interest rate for himself. And when the government reports my bonds value has increased by point five percent in accordance with their latest inflation figures. You could argue that that’s a similar situation, the bottom line is that we all know when the government says the inflation is two point nine percent over the past three decades or more. The reality may be that it’s more like five percent, so when financial experts talk about the importance of having an inflation hedge in your retirement plan obviously, you need to take that seriously. A little later Marty and I will be talking about what does and doesn’t constitute a good inflation hedge for retiree’s today. In fact, there’s a lot of confusion and debate about that so we’ll break down some of the options and see how they stack up. What’s important to keep in mind overall though is this. If inflation has realistically speaking increased by five percent or so per year over the last thirty years then you need to count on it increasing by at least that much over the next thirty years. As we’ve talked about on our last show one of the major ways that retirement planning has changed over the years has to do with longevity rates, people living longer and longer. According to a major insurance company speaking with their actuaries people retiring in their mid-sixties have a twenty-five to fifty percent chance of living all the way into their ninety’s. Simply put people today are living longer than ever before and the thirty plus year retirement today is fairly common. What does that mean in terms of inflation? Well, when you do the math it means that if inflation increases only add another five percent per year in the coming decades. After thirty years you will need four times the amount of income, you have the first year of retirement in the last year of retirement to maintain the same lifestyle. If inflation should increase a little to seven percent per year then you will need eight times the income of your last day of retirement compared to your first. So whatever your inflation hedge is, it needs to take into account these figures if it doesn’t there’s a chance inflation could erode your portfolio so badly that you can run out of income. What are the odds of that happening? Well, that depends on a lot of factors of course, but a few years ago a major mutual fund family came out with a tool based on something called Monte Carlo analysis. This is something that I and other financial advisors will often use with their clients. What it does it calculates the probability that you’d be able to fund a twenty-five or thirty or even thirty-five year retirement without running out of income… The factors depend upon your stock to bond mix in your portfolio as well as your income needs and it’s all done through back testing, historical track records for stocks and bonds. Or for example, the thirty year chart shows that with a forty to sixty mix of stock to bonds forty stocks, sixty bonds which is generally considered to be really conservative. You actually have an eighty percent chance of not running out of money in that thirty year period, when taking a four percent income stream per year. So if you have a million dollars that’s forty thousand dollars a year now on the surface that may sound pretty good. Eighty percent chance of success but keep in mind that it’s also based on the government’s official estimated inflation rate of about three percent. Bump back to five or seven and obviously the odds go down. But perhaps even a more important point that I always make is this, even if your odds of running out of income are relatively small. Such as twenty percent in this example would you be willing to take the risk considering how bad the consequences might be? In other words, it’s not enough to ask what are the odds it could happen you also have to consider how bad would it be if it did. Would you find yourself financially wiped out in your late eighties? Think of it as Russian roulette even with just one bullet in a six round chamber meaning you only had a sixteen percent chance of shooting yourself. Would you pull the trigger? Would you play that game? Of course, you wouldn’t why? Because the consequences of that sixteen percent probability pans out are so severe. Keep in mind that at twenty percent your odds of running out of money are even greater so considering the magnitude of the consequences, the potential consequences do you really want to play that game? Obviously, most people don’t most people don’t like taking risks that have a huge potential downside if they fail and offer a little reward if they succeeded that’s just common sense. Ultimately, wouldn’t you rather have an inflation hedge and an overall strategy that gives you more like a ninety-eight to one hundred percent chance of not outliving your income rather than only seventy or eighty percent. Of course you wouldn’t, so stay tuned. Today we’d like to welcome Robert Shiller co-author of Phishing for Fools, his new book about Wall Street that the Income Generation will find particularly interesting. Professor Shiller, you don’t really know about this but I actually have a bone to pick with Yale. They were the only school I applied to when I was going to get my undergraduate degree who wouldn’t give me a single penny of financial aid and as a result I couldn’t go there. Now, I know you’re not from that department but if in later life if I decided I want to go back to Yale for a graduate degree do you think maybe you could pull some strings with the financial aid department for me?

Robert Shiller: Well, you know I don’t know when you applied but the Yale portfolio managed by David Swenson has grown from less than a billion dollars to in the mid twenty billions. That makes it easier for Yale to give financial aid so I’ll bet if you were young today and did it again you’d get it.

David Scranton: Yeah, yeah. No, I’m just going to pretend for a minute that I didn’t hear you call me not young and we’ll get on with the show, but today’s show of course is about inflation and I want to talk about your book just a little bit later. But today there’s lots of rumblings about deflation vs inflation, even on December sixteenth Janet Yellen mentioned that although she raised rates by a quarter point the reality was that… She mentioned she’s struggling to get inflation up to where she’d like it to be tell us about your thoughts looking forward.

Robert Shiller: Well Janet Yellen has been influential in the idea that the ideal inflation rate is not zero but it’s something like two percent and part of the reason is that history shows that periods of deflation are economically weak. So let’s say they are comfortable two percentage points away from deflation unfortunately, we’re not there yet. She’s trying, I don’t think it’s perfectly possible they can do all these things.

David Scranton: No it isn’t, but that’s something I’ve wrestled with myself. I understand the theory behind two percent being a good inflation rate for a healthy economy. But I also know that for a good part of the history of our country there was no inflation but you believe for the most part that that two percent probably a pretty healthy number.

Robert Shiller: Well, I think this is really the influence of a historical economics, behavioral economics. Yeah, I mean it’s better to have a little cushion. Maybe it’s a kind of fish, maybe it’s kind just… people get confused by two percent inflation and they maybe make mistakes. But on balance it’s a good thing and we have to try to get there, I think Janet Yellen is right.

David Scranton: So tell us in your own words what our Income Generation viewers of course, are always hearing from me in terms of my thoughts. But tell us in your own words why you believe she’s had such a difficult time creating any inflation at all.

Robert Shiller: You know it’s… to me it mirrors exactly the reverse of the problem that Arthur Burns had as Fed chairman decades ago that inflation just kept creeping up and he just didn’t seem to have any ability to stop it. And he didn’t understand, I think he admitted he didn’t understand why that was happening so you know the price dynamics is a complicated theo… The low inflation now has something to do with our weak outlook and our sense of reduced optimism things like that and the Fed chairman can’t control those accurately.

David Scranton: Yeah and frankly the raising of short term interest rates if anything is not going to help create inflation because in essence we are just beginning to just a small extent to tighten while the rest of the world is is easing. So what do you think has to be done to try to create that two percent inflation rate?

Robert Shiller: Well, I think that rates are still low, that’s the important thing the economy… the unemployment rate is down to four point nine percent and historically you know Central banks would raise rates quite a bit in that situation. The small amount that they were raised is still leaving them low and it should still work.

David Scranton: Now Professor Shiller your new book talks about the intentional and unintentional reasons behind the manipulations of Wall Street and then that you and I actually have a lot in common about our concerns. Talk to us from your standpoint about that.

Robert Shiller: Well our book is not just about Wall Street, this is my book with George Akerlof. We think that there is a need for to emphasize integrity in business and that we need business organizations that uphold integrity and we need government regulation. Akerlof and I love free markets, but we know that they can go awry and I guess that’s obvious but it’s not obvious in its entirety so the financial crisis that we saw that really started in two thousand and eight. I don’t think it was a result of mostly evil doers doing crimes that could put people in jail it was more of people selling things a little bit too you know… Not being completely forthcoming maybe in the fine print forthcoming, but that’s all so we saw you know mortgage securities over sold. People were oversold on the advantages of buying a home at the time, these are problems that catapulted us into a huge crisis not criminal problems generally. But problems that do challenge our integrity and the next step has to be more and better integrity in business.

David Scranton: And of course, you can’t legislate integrity, it seems like whenever you change the rules and the laws then somebody finds a way around those rules and laws. So it has to come from a different source and it seems like greed is a big part of it, is there anything else besides corporate greed would you say that causes this phenomena?

Robert Shiller: Well, I am a scholar of behavioral economics, right now we talk about more than just greed there’s a whole array of psychological principals but yeah. I mean selfishness is part of the story and I think that… you know if you go back to the nineteenth century remember Horatio Alger, he wrote all these popular books for boys about success in business. But I went back and read one of them just out of interest, it was not just about if you try hard you can be a success it was about integrity. And it was about business people who hold back and do the right thing, are much more likely in the long run to be… to prevail.

David Scranton: Thank you so much for being on the show today. I very, very much appreciate it as do all of our viewers and I’m looking forward to getting that new financial aid package in the mail as soon as I get back up North. So, with that in mind stay with us we have a commercial break and we’ll be right back.

Marti Johnson: It’s hard to believe but for most of this country’s history people didn’t give a thought to saving for retirement. In fact, the concept of retirement didn’t even exist, that only really started to change in the late eighteenth hundreds. The forces behind that change and what I’ll be talking about in today’s segment, I’ll also look at how retirement planning is still changing and evolving. If you remember your high school history you know America’s economy was based on agriculture until the late nineteenth century. For the most part, the farms that drove the economy were family based and men worked for as long as their health allowed. As they age they gradually handed over the reins literally and figuratively to their growing offspring, as late as eighteen-eighty half of the Americans still worked on farms and nearly eighty percent of all men worked past the age of sixty-five. Even though the average life expectancy was actually considerably lower than that but as the century ended factories began to take over. The country was starting to shift and shift quickly from an agricultural economy to a manufacturing economy, from the family based model to the company model. Suddenly older workers had no one they could gradually hand the reins to so as their jobs became more physically demanding as they got older. The idea of leaving the workforce at a certain age began to take hold, it was seen as practical not just from the workers perspective but from the employers as well. As a workers age increased, his production often declined soon the idea of providing financial security for aging workers caught on. It was the American Express Company that established the country’s first private pension plan with the goal of creating a stable, career oriented workforce. By eighteen ninety-nine there were thirteen private pension plans in the US and more being created every day, worker morale and retention were primary motivators of course. But one of the reasons companies didn’t mind providing pensions initially is that life expectancies were far shorter at the time. In nineteen hundred life expectancy for men and women was approximately forty-nine years at birth, people who reached the age of sixty could expect to live only an additional twelve years on average. Yet there were still no minimum or mandatory retirement age and most people continued to work as long as they were able. Well that combined with the growing prosperity of the manufacturing based economy meant that pensions weren’t a financial hardship for many growing companies. By nineteen-nineteen over three hundred private pension plans existed, covering about fifteen percent of the nation’s wage and salary workers as for the other eighty-five percent. Well they were still largely on their own until nineteen thirty-five when Social Security was enacted, importantly, it was established… it established sixty-five as the normal retirement age. At the time life expectancy was still only about sixty years from birth well that means that Social Security was also enacted with the belief that most workers wouldn’t live for very long after retirement. And therefore, they wouldn’t be a great burden on taxpayers, what’s more according to the Social Security Administration when the program started there were approximately forty working people paying into the system for every one retiree. Well obviously that’s a healthy ratio, meantime pension programs kept growing, by nineteen fifty nine point eight million Americans or twenty five percent of all private sector workers were covered by a pension. Over the next twenty years that number would increase to twenty six point three million or forty five percent of all workers. Throughout all those years however life expectancies also continue to increase and this presented a growing financial challenge to the very concept of businesses and government providing financial security for retired workers. By the early nineteen seventies, Congress had identified a growing pension crisis in the country in nineteen seventy-four they enacted the employment Retirement Income Security Act or ERISA, in an effort to address the crisis. One of the results of ERISA was a gradual rise in the popularity of defined contribution plans as an alternative to traditional defined benefit pension plans. Increasingly, businesses began to offer employer matched investment plans like 401k in lieu of traditional pensions which had become less financially viable as retirees lived longer. It was one thing to commit to paying a worker’s retirement income for five to ten years on average, it was quite another to make that commitment for ten to twenty years. Defined contribution plans such as 401k’s which were introduced in nineteen seventy-eight shifted some of the burden back to workers themselves by now however, increasing life expectancies and the option of taking early retirement were also putting a strain on the Social Security system. With retirees living longer and the birth rate declining after the baby boom era, that healthy worker to retire ratio of forty to one shifted dramatically. As of today, there are only two point eight working people paying into the system for every one retiree. Within twenty years or so that ratio is expected to be only two to one, changes were made at the Social Security system in two thousand to try to address some of these concerns. But even today many retirees continue to worry about Social Security being depleted and about where their benefits being there for them when they retire. By two thousand and six life expectancies had risen to age seventy-four for men and age seventy-nine for women. Also by then forty-three percent of all private sector workers were covered by defined contribution plans like 401K’s rather than traditional pensions, that number has only increased since but so of longevity rates. Today according to the Centers for Disease Control, the average sixty-five year old… for the average sixty-five year old there is a fifty percent chance that you’ll live at least into your late eighty’s. For the average couple aged sixty-five there is a fifty percent chance that at least one spouse will live to the age of ninety-two, the bottom line is that American workers today need to plan for retirement income that will last them up to thirty years. And although Social Security is reportedly solvent through twenty thirty-three and being amended to prevent reductions to benefits beyond that for most people, it will not be enough. Social Security by itself won’t provide sufficient income to meet their retirement goals or even needs, that leaves it up to them to parlay their 401k’s or other plans into vehicles and strategy that will provide majority income of their retirement. Achieving that goal with a sense of security and with so many complex options can seem very daunting and as David has pointed out that’s especially true for this generation of retirees with all the uncertainty in today’s economy and financial markets. It’s also the reason that David starts to urge them to start identifying their retirement goals and by embracing their identity as the Income Generation.

David Scranton: Very few people paid attention to a news event that happened during the very last days of two thousand and fifteen. I made note of it though and I even shared it with the advisors that I coach and mentor around the country that are part of our advisors Academy network. And I mention how Purton it is to future inflation expectations, what was it? On December thirtieth, Saudi Arabia said it will not change its oil production policy meaning that even if there is a glut in over supply of oil, they will not scale back. Many people didn’t think about it but the price of oil affects the price of everything sold that has to be transported and delivered, that is to say if it’s not a service or it can’t be delivered digitally by computer. Or you’re not picking up yourself at a farm, the cost to get it to the store shelves is affected and compounded through every level of production and shipping because of oil prices. We’ve been talking a lot about inflation on the Income Generation but the reality is today the cards are stacked against rising prices and here’s why. When economies are strong demand is high, this might translate into higher profits for manufacturers but in a weak economy like todays. Competitive pressures force companies to pass the savings on to you. If you follow my show you know that I think economic weakness will last for quite some time. And this is ironically the bright spot in our disappointing economy especially for retirees, Income Generation members. That inflation may not be an issue for a long time. How long? Well up until about nineteen thirty, it’s important to understand that the United States really didn’t have inflation. When we first started experiencing permanent rising prices, permanent inflation was when the government got into permanent debt, this was during the Roosevelt administration. So inflation is actually a newer phenomenon here in the United States, at least permanent inflation is. And there’s absolutely no reason to think that it should persist without fail every single year in the future, in fact, I like in our economy to that of Japan ten years ago. We have a similar shifting in demographics, over the last four years they have experienced a low inflation average below one percent. In fact, in two thousand and twelve the annual inflation rate was below zero, the correct term for this is deflation. Over the last decade Japan has experienced deflation five times, fifty percent of the time they’ve experienced deflation and although we’re probably ten years behind the Japanese economy or more. An economy which has been dormant for over twenty years, we might just have the right recipe for the same low inflation or deflation. Why? Because as baby boomers peak they drive business and growth because the new consumers begin to go through a high consumption periods which typically occur early in life. This drives economic activity, as the baby boomers which caused the stimulus for a strong economy retire and consume less they effectively are no longer stimulating the economy. This happened in Japan as their average age increased and the US with this aging population is headed in the same direction. We’re just a decade or more behind so the good news for the Income Generation is that they are in the right place, just as they benefited more than most generations from the high flying economy in the eighties and nineties and the stock market that correlated with it. In fact, in many ways they cause it, they should also drive benefit from income producing assets and payments especially as the economy goes through a period of low inflation or deflation. You see, your buying power won’t quickly be eroded by a fast growing inflationary or economy that’s why the period going forward could actually be looked at as rosy if you’re in or approaching retirement. And in many respects better than it would be if the economy were roaring again, because it would allow for stable or lower prices and income producing assets is where you should look if prices are going to drop. Think about it, the income you get will become worth even more, your fixed income payments don’t change on their own right. Yet the payments will buy more and more over time. You’re not likely to get that kind of benefit with stocks or real estate which could be negatively affected by a shrinking economy. A lot of people have a difficult time comprehending no inflation or deflation with decreasing prices and there’s a reason for this. We have to remember the nineteen seventies and that’s the experience for most of us when President Nixon took the United States off the gold standard causing inflation to roar to eight point eight percent in one year, twelve percent the next. And by nineteen eighty we saw fourteen percent inflation in that year and that period is still part of our mental fabric. It’s part of the paradigm which created our financial thinking. Just as many still expect the stock market to act as strong as it did in the nineteen nineties although in our hearts we know that’s really not true. Neither is likely to reoccur based upon history, yet they become part of our paradigm, part of our experience. So in some ways many have become too expect it. Again, historically inflation is actually a recent phenomenon with demographics being what they are in the United States, wage pressures are low so cost of production should remain low also. I mentioned earlier that transportation costs are down, slow economy means less demand for commodities and raw materials used to make the goods. All of the factors that generate inflation are well under control for the foreseeable future in fact, the Fed through its stimulus over the last seven years has been trying to generate and create inflation. They believe it benefits businesses and let’s face it, since the national debt has grown so much in recent years if the US got to pay this debt with cheaper dollars it would make the job easier. I know this idea could be hard to wrap our brains around so I’ll describe it a different way. If you bought a home in the nineteen seventies or eighty’s, the mortgage payment initially I’m sure seemed huge but over time inflation caused your income to increase. While your mortgage payments stayed the same, so your mortgage payments over time seemed to be smaller and smaller and they were indeed a smaller percentage of your income. The same is true with the government, you see inflation causes tax revenues to increase having the same effect with the national debt as you had with that initially seeming large mortgage payment that ended up being less than a car payment by your thirty. The problem though is that the Federal Reserve has failed to generate inflation, they have the recipe right, they flooded the market with cheap money to purchase essentially the same amount of goods and services. This all started of course seven years ago, eight years ago when the Fed brought rates to near zero and flooded the market with money. They threw in everything but the kitchen sink to right the economy and fight deflationary pressures, what happen? Well currently our inflation rate is as low as one-half percent not very impressive if the goal is to create inflation. They simply could not make it happen. So if the extreme stimulus the Fed used with zero interest then three point five trillion dollars in quantitative easing didn’t raise inflation. Then I suspect Janet Yellen could stand on her head and spit wood and nickels and it still couldn’t overcome the deflationary forces of an aging population. Baby boomers simply are not taking the low interest rate bait that the government has been providing. They stop making the big ticket purchases that they don’t really need, they’re reducing their monthly payments and saving more for the future. Which is just considered sound personal finance. Now, you may still have some doubts about low inflation especially if you haven’t been following Japan over the last twenty years. History originally dubbed the period between nineteen ninety-one and two thousand and one as Japan’s lost decade. As time passed the following decade came and went then the term changed to the lost two decades and that term became popular, during this period the Japanese stock market and the real estate market collapsed. The fifteen years that followed this initial lost decade highlighted the reality of deflation. The economic collapse resulted in people accepting lower wages. Less pay led to a decrease in demand which the drop in demand caused even further decrease in prices and layoffs and so on and so forth as the cycle began.

As people became accustomed to seeing prices drop it also set their expectations that they continue to decline. The thought then becomes well, why buy today when we can buy the same thing cheaper tomorrow, waiting for lower prices less than demand which caused prices to spiral downward. That is known as the deflation spiral. Now, this may not sound like good news and I believe the United States can avert the extreme levels of deflation Japan has experienced. But a little deflation could be good for you the Income Generation. You know we’ve learned a lot from watching the average age rise in Japan, one very important thing I’ve noticed is fixed rate assets do well when deflation is a threat. As investors become defensive in buying more bonds, high quality bonds tend to fare quite well especially compared to stocks during periods of deflationary threats. This is why the traders and analysts at my firm Sound Income Strategies under my direction look to add these opportunities to our clients’ portfolios. I want to thank Professor Robert Shiller for being on my show, please look for his new book entitled Phishing for fools and learn how to avoid being fooled. I also appreciate the time Marti Johnston and I had discussing solutions and unknowns to a risk we all share which is losing purchasing power due to inflation. Now if you haven’t signed up yet for a complimentary special report entitled The Income Generation which allows readers to discover many answers to their investment questions. Get it now at The Income Generation dot com, you’ll discover a wealth of useful ideas you could put to work to better secure your financial security. And if you’d like call us and let us know what else we can do for you, get your questions answered and discover what other resources Sound Income Strategies can make available to you. That’s all for today, I’m David Scranton you’ve been watching The Income Generation and we’ll see you all again next week.

The post Robert Schiller On Inflation With David Scranton appeared first on Sound Income Strategies.

from Sound Income Strategies https://soundincomestrategies.com/the-income-generation/robert-schiller-on-inflation-with-david-scranton/

[travelingtheusa]

TEXAS

18 Jan 2019 (Fri) – First stop was at the Dallas Diner for breakfast next door to the Elks Lodge.  We both got senior breakfast meals – 2 eggs, bacon or sausage, hash browns, and a biscuit.  It was good. Then we did the laundry so I could have some clean socks and underwear to take with me on my trip.  While the laundry was drying, we drove to the nearest Navy FCU 17 miles away.  I deposited 3 checks and asked if they could cash a $20 check I had made out to me. For some reason, it would not photograph for mobile deposit to USAA.  The clerk said it was the background on the check that was preventing the picture (apparently, it is a common problem).  Since I don’t have a personal account at Navy FCU (just the SMART Nomads business account), she had me deposit the check in that account and withdraw $20.  It was an in-and-out transaction.

     After we brought the laundry back to the RV and put everything away, we grabbed Bonnie and drove to the park at White Rock Lake. There was a large dog park there and we wanted to give Bonnie some social time with other dogs.  There were at least 20 dogs running around the large dog park, and another 20 in the little dog park.  Bonnie wasn’t interested in interacting with anyone. She sniffed, peed, and pooped but did not play.  We took her out of the park and went for a walk along the lake front.  There were many birds on the water and in the trees. The sky was heavily overcast and the temp was in the low 50s.  The forecast for today was 68 degrees but we did not see it get that high.

     I am feeling a little anxious about my trip to New York.  Winter Storm Harper is headed to the northeast this weekend.  Temps are projected to be in the single digits with snow and sleet and flash-freeze conditions.  Why am I going back to New York in January???  We will have to adjust these visits back home for more temperate times of the year.

 17 Jan 2019 (Thu) - We went to the mall so I could pick up a few things for my trip to New York then went to AMC Movie Theater to watch “Replicas” with Keanu Reeves.  It was OK. Keanu just couldn’t pull off acting like a scientist.  We stopped at PetCo to pick up a few cans of food for the animals, and stopped for lunch at Saltgrass Steak House.  We were back home by 5:00 p.m.

16 Jan 2019 (Wed) – We packed up, made a stop at the dump station, and headed out from Caddo to Dallas.  It looked like some kind of stevedore had worked around the campground last night.  A lot of grass was dug up.  We figured it was either (or both) possums and javelinas.  They like to root in the ground for grubs and worms.  We never saw any wildlife other than deer during the 9 days we’ve been here.

     We stopped for lunch at McDonald’s.  Paul pulled into a WalMart parking lot and I walked across the street to get the food.  Of course, we had to include a burger for Bonnie and Sheba.  

     Traffic was pretty good most of the way.  When we got to the last few miles, the GPS goofed up. There is construction in that area and we guessed the GPS was trying to put us on a road that wasn’t there any more. At any rate, we managed to find our way to the Elks Lodge.

     The Lodge is on the outskirts of town near Garland. There are 7 sites lined up along the back fence with water and electric hookups.  I had called two days ago and made a reservation for the one and only empty site.  When we arrived, there was a motor coach in our site.  The guy didn’t know it was reserved.  There is a sign on the front door of the lodge that says the sites are first come, first served.  It is a confusing system.  They were gracious, however, and moved over to park by the fence.  We pulled in and set up.

     Once set up, we drove into town.  It seems like all the stores we shop at are close by on the main road.  Kroger is two buildings over.  U-Haul (where we get propane) is a mile and a half down the road.  Between here and there, there is a PetCo and a Lowe’s along with dozens of other stores and restaurants.  Very different from the last place we camped.  lol.

     We got the propane tank refilled, refueled the truck, and picked up groceries at Kroger.  We also picked up dinner and took it back to the RV.  After we ate, we went into the lodge.  The parking area is gated and we needed to get a key card for the gate.  We also asked about extending for an additional 3 days.  We had reservations through to January 25.  I will be in New York from the 19th to the 24th.  The weather forecast is for a fierce winter storm to hit the northeast.  We figured we should extend a few days to the 28th just in case my return flight gets delayed by the storm.  There was a little confusion as to who had reserved the site, but the gal finally said they hadn’t paid so we were set.

    The lodge cooks dinner every Wednesday night. Tonight’s meal was tomato soup and grill cheese.  We had already eaten so we passed.  Next Wednesday Paul will be able to enjoy a meatball sandwich if he wants.  They are also having a steak dinner on Saturday.  I called and made a reservation for him. We had a drink and returned to the camper.

15 Jan 2019 (Tue) – Again, we stayed in the campground.  Temps never got over 50 today and the sun never showed its face.  We have been using a 30’ leash to walk Bonnie.  She has been enjoying the extra freedom very much. It’s also given us a better walk. We don’t have to stop all the time so she can sniff at something.  She has room to walk ahead, stop to sniff, then catch up to us without getting pulled on the 6’ leash.  Everyone is happier with the walk.

 14 Jan 2019 (Mon) – We stayed around the campground today.  Temps still cold and skies overcast.  A second camper showed up overnight.  Now there are four of us in the campground.  The tenters left.

 13 Jan 2019 (Sun) – We stayed around the campground today. The temperatures remained in the 30s all day.  A new camper showed up and the motor home left.  I spotted a campfire on the point where the tenters had been.  Guess more tenters are staying here for the weekend.

12 Jan 2019 (Sat) – We drove 45 minutes north to Graham today.  The Post Office Museum and Fine Arts Center was closed.  There wasn’t anything else to see in the town.  We drove around looking at the buildings and homes.  It looked very much like a western town – not rich, not poor although there were some very run down areas.  

     We stopped at the number one rated restaurant (according to Trip Advisor) for lunch.  Neri’s on the Square was housed in an old historical building that has served as a mortuary, an antique stop, a hardware store, and a restaurant.  The building was large and very open.  There were paintings right on the walls and a set of stairs going to the second floor.  The waitress was a little weird.  Paul thought she was mentally challenged.  I thought she was a young kid who was just given the job, was coached to be upbeat and smile all the time, and then was let loose.  She was extremely enthusiastic, gesticulated a lot, and ended every sentence with a breathless smile.  The food was good and we enjoyed the meal.

     On the way back to the campground, we took time to drive around Possum Kingdom Lake.  We drove through neighborhoods and summer retreats that were pretty deserted.  We found the Brazos River Authority Observation Point and Possum Kingdom Reservoir created by the Morris Sheppard Dam.  The dam was built as a flood control and water conservation project in 1941.  It is over 2,700 feet long and 190 feet high. A very cold wind was blowing so we did not walk around the observation point for very long.  

     We stopped at WalMart to pick up some nice crusty French bread to have with the potato soup I made yesterday.  They had French bread but it wasn’t crusty.  They need to come to New York to see what REAL French and Italian bread is like.  We settled for a frozen loaf of garlic bread.  It was OK but didn’t hit the mark.

11 Jan 2019 (Fri) – It rained during the night and intermittently all day today.  We drove south to the town of Breckenridge.  First stop was at the Swenson Memorial Museum.  The museum was all about Stephens County.  It consisted of two floors located in the former First National Bank building.  The place was packed with artifacts and photos.  There was a resident of the town who was an amateur photographer who took pictures of everything.  Because of that, they have pictures of every aspect of life in the late 1880s through the early 1900s.  It was a very interesting museum.  We spent about two hours wandering among the exhibits, followed (most of the time) by the curator who kept up a rambling story about the town’s history and its colorful occupants.  The curator recommended two restaurants for lunch and also suggested we go to the Breckenridge Fine Arts Center after the Swenson Museum.  We thanked her and left.

     We had lunch at the L&L Family Restaurant. It was very local.  Paul and I both got fried chicken with mashed potatoes and cole slaw.  The potatoes automatically came with gravy without the waitress even asking if we wanted it. We were able to bring home enough left-overs to have supper later.

     After lunch, we drove to the Breckenridge Fine Arts Center.  What a great stop!  The ladies of the town compete in the Festival parades in San Antonio and Tyler. They donate their beautiful gowns to the museum for display.  The curator brought us back into the exhibit room where we could see the gowns close up.  The gowns are worth thousands of dollars and reminded us of the costumes they create for Mardi Gras.  Another room had a doll collection on display, and another had the most beautiful and stunning water colors we have ever seen.  A temporary exhibit had paintings by an impressionist artist who actually came in to get her pictures just after we finished viewing them.  Talk about timing!

     When we got back to the campground, we did the laundry in the campground’s two washers and two dryers.  An RV was just pulling in.  The other two that were here left yesterday.  It is pretty deserted in the campground now.  The distance the park is from main routes might have something to do with the lack of campers.  We are enjoying the beauty of the park and the lack of crowded facilities.  The weather has been more in the normal range – high 60s in the day; 40s at night.  The weather forecast for the weekend is for lows in the 30s.  Looks like we will have to turn off the water at night again.

 10 Jan 2019 (Thu) – We drove into the town of Mineral Wells today, 51 miles northeast from here.  It took almost an hour just to drive the park road to get to the main route.  There wasn’t much to see in town.  It is obvious the town is barely hanging on.  There were many stores closed up and dilapidated buildings with broken windows lined the streets.  The Baker Hotel, which opened two weeks after the great crash in 1929, was boarded up and the inside gutted.  We walked around it.  Then we drove to the original Mineral Water Company.  They produced Crazy Water in both liquid and crystal form.  The water from wells in the area had several elements in it, to include lithium.  Early settlers found the water made sick people better.  Soon, in combination with the oil boom, Mineral Wells swelled to a population of 30,000 people.  People came from all over to drink and bathe in the water.  Then the FDA was formed and better medical treatments were discovered and the town kind of faded away.  We stopped to eat at the Mesquite Pit.  The food was good.

     We got back to the campground a little after four. Paul said we drove 117 miles for lunch.

 9 Jan 2019 (Wed) – We spent the day relaxing. Just stayed in the campground and enjoyed the day.  There are only two other RVs in the park.  Paul spotted a couple of tents on another point.  They had a campfire going.  We agreed we needed to get some firewood.

 8 Jan 2019 (Tue) – We packed up, used the dump station, and hit the road at 9:20 a.m.  It was a long drive from San Angelo to Caddo (5 hours).  We stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch.  The food was good as always.

     We pulled in the Possum Kingdom State Park campground at quarter after two.  The campground is very far off the main route and away from any local towns.  It was 17 miles on the park road from the main route to the campground.  The town of Caddo was very small and Trip Advisor has nothing listed for it.  We might explore some of the small towns around the area but there isn’t much here in this part of Texas.

     Our campsite is right on Possum Kingdom Lake. So far, we have not seen any opossums but there are lots of deer in the area.  There are only 2 or 3 other campers here.  It is pretty isolated.  We have electric and water hookups and will have to find a dump station when we leave.

 7 Jan 2019 (Mon) – We went out to get fuel and groceries in preparation for our move tomorrow.  We stopped at the Pack Saddle for lunch.  Their ribs were so good last time but not this time.  The meat was tough and less flavorable.  That was very disappointing.

 6 Jan 2019 (Sun) – We spent the day hanging around the campground today.  Made a reservation at our next campground – Possum Kingdom State Park in Caddo, TX. I wonder if there are a lot of opossums in that park?

5 Jan 2019 (Sat) – We went to the Railway Museum of San Angelo this morning.  It was a small museum located in an old depot.  There were several train setups but only one worked.  The most interesting thing was the list of depots between the start of the line in Kansas City to its terminus in Mexico. Almost every station had its name changed over time, which seemed unfair to earlier settlers.  Stations would be named after a family member or someone who settled the town then years later it would be changed to honor someone who served on the railway board or donated money.  Outside were five rail cars – two engines, one caboose, and two cars.  

      After the museum, we went to the Cork & Pig Tavern for lunch.  It was odd to have a place with such a name and there was very little pork offered on the menu.  Paul and I wound up sharing a pizza.

    Following lunch, we went to the Chicken Farm Art Center.  It was a former chicken farm that has been converted to an artists’ compound.  Some artists live on the property; two of the chicken coops were divided into small shops.  Most of the wares were handmade items – soap, jewelry, ceramics, clothing, etc. There was a group of musicians sitting around in chairs in the courtyard.  It was more like a jam than a performance.  

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at PetCo and WalMart.

4 Jan 2015 (Fri) – We went to lunch at the Pack Saddle BBQ at noon.  The ribs were excellent!  Paul had a brisket dish, which was also very good.  We returned to the campground where Paul continued to insulate all the cabinets in the RV.  

     I got a notice from USPS that our forwarded mail would arrive on Monday.  I had asked for it on Saturday thinking they would send it out on Monday and it would arrive on Friday or Saturday.  Escapees didn’t send the mail out until yesterday so it won’t arrive until Monday. Consequently, I had to go to the office and extend our stay here for one more day.  We were planning to leave on Monday but now our departure date is Tuesday.

     The weather was soooooo much nicer today.  It was 33 degrees when Paul got up this morning and it climbed all the way into the high 60s today.  Hopefully, the cold front has passed and the weather is returning to normal.    

3 Jan 2019 (Thu) – We drove into town and had lunch at Miss Hattie’s Café and Cathouse Lounge.  It was in an old bank building built around the late 1800s.  It had the original tin stamped ceiling and red brick walls.  I had pot roast and Paul had fried shrimp.  The food was good.

      After lunch, we walked down the street to Legend Jewelers where we bought tickets to see Miss Hattie’s Bordello Museum.  Three more people joined the tour and we all walked up a double flight of stairs over the jewelry store to where Miss Hattie ran her bordello.  There were some original pieces from the actual bordello, and the rest was furniture and artifacts from that time period.  We looked into bedrooms where there were story boards recounting the tale of each of five mistresses.  It was a very interesting tour.

     We then drove to San Angelo State Park on the outskirts of town.  It was a very large park with two separate entrances.  First, we went through the south entrance.  There are long horn steers and bison kept in this area.  Unfortunately, neither were near the road.  There were some pens in the distance and it looked like several bison laying on the ground nearby.

     We then drove back out onto the main road over to the north entrance.  There were campgrounds on either side of a creek but not many people camping.  We poked around then left.

2 Jan 2019 (Wed) – It was 30 degrees when we went to bed and it was 30 degrees when we got up this morning. Brrrrrrr.  WTH???  It’s not supposed to be this cold way down south here in Texas!  There have been all kinds of winter advisories and storm warnings for the past two days.  The weatherman reported today that temperatures across the nation are 20 to 30 degrees below normal.

     We went back to Lowe’s today and picked up half-inch pipe insulation tubes and stuffed them under the edge of the kitchen slide. There is no insulation under that slide and it is noticeably colder in the kitchen area.  Paul completed insulation of all the cabinets and closets today.  We’ve had to disconnect the water hose for the last two days.  The water pump is an on-again, off-again, affair.  When the weather gets warmer, Paul will try to figure out why it keeps shutting off.

     I looked up the number one restaurant on Trip Adviser and we went there for lunch.  What a weird experience!  The name of the place was listed as Peasant Valley Restaurant but the sign outside said PV Deli.  It was an old house-turned-restaurant.  We walked through the main door into a large dining area.  To the left was another room with a couple reading a menu on a chalkboard.  We assumed it was the lunch menu, so we walked over and read it, too.  Then a mentally challenged young man told us that was the dinner menu (it was just 11:45 a.m.) and he handed us some photocopied menus to choose from.  We walked back into the main dining room, took a table, and reviewed the menu.  The young man tried to answer questions but he was extremely difficult to understand.  Every time I asked him to repeat himself, he said something different. I tried to order a chicken salad sandwich but he said there was no chicken.

     I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable and somewhat annoyed about the whole place and told the young man we were leaving because I wanted chicken but they were out of it.  Then a young woman came into the room, stated that the young man was her brother and sometimes talked too fast, and said there was plenty of chicken; just not chicken salad.  Too embarrassed to leave, we sat back down to look over the menu again.  She told us when we decided what we wanted, we should walk down the hall and place our order at the counter.  We got up and walked down the hall to place our order.  There was a sign on the wall that said if you didn’t know what you wanted, get out of the line and don’t come back until you know what you want.  I wound up ordering a Rueben sandwich.  The whole thing was just weird.

     When we got back to the campground, we packed up the dirty clothes and did the laundry at the campground.  They have two washers and two dryers, which is enough for us. While the clothes washed and dried, we tried to put together a puzzle.  There was a shelf in the room with books and puzzles.  We didn’t have much luck.  Neither one of us had our glasses and got a headache after a while.

     The temps never got out of the low 30s today. Paul spread cat litter on the steps because they were slick with ice.  Hope this cold spell passes soon.

 1 Jan 2019 (Tue-New Year’s Day) – It was very cold today.  We went to Lowe’s and picked up some silver insulation sheeting to put in the windows. I worked on the caravan book for May; Paul measured and fit the insulation in the windows.  It’s a little disturbing not to be able to see out the windows.  One of the best things about this RV is the panoramic views out the windows.  Oh, well.  If it keeps us warmer, I guess it’s a good thing.

31 Dec 2018 (Mon) – It started raining last night around 8 or 9.  Some times we had thunder and lightning; sometimes there was just a gentle rain. The ground was pretty wet this morning.

     We drove into town to the post office and got the address to have our mail forwarded.  Then we drove to Fort Concho.  It is the most intact Indian Wars Fort in the U.S.  There were about 20 buildings arrayed in a horseshoe around a large parade field.  A couple of the buildings were open to tour but most were closed up.  There were more than 40 buildings on the fort at one time but many were torn down over the years.  Like many frontier posts, it was only in service for 23 years then abandoned by the military.  We walked around the fort, looking in the few buildings that were open.  There was also the Museum of Telefony located in one of the old buildings.  It was quite interesting to see all the very old phones back from a time when telephones were first invented.  Today’s kids wouldn’t know what to do with them.

     After exploring Fort Concho, we went to lunch at the Angry Cactus.  It was a bar and grill decorated in some very unusual ways.  There were pots turned upside down hanging from the ceiling as lights. They used old fashioned light bulbs to give an old look to the place.  They had a special - $5 margaritas all day along with tacos or taco salad.  We found the food very good.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped in the San Angelo Nature Center.  It was a parking lot fronting on a lake.  Not much wildlife to look at.  We stopped at the Hotel Concho.  It is now out of business.  The first two floors are used by local businesses.  They were setting up for a wedding at 5 p.m. today.  It was a beautiful old building.

     We also stopped at H.E.B. and picked up groceries then ran to PetCo to pick up pet food.  The town of San Angelo has almost 96,000 people, yet much of the town is run down with many broken windows and boarded up buildings.  It feels like they are struggling to keep the town going.  Hope they make it.

 30 Dec 2018 (Sun) – We took Bonnie on a long walk around the campground.  It was 37 this morning and never got warmer than 45 degrees.  When done, we drove into town to the San Angelo Visitor Center. It was a very fancy building with a small office.  There were two elderly gentlemen there who were very happy to tell us everything there was to know about the town.  After getting a handful of brochures and flyers, we walked down by the Concho River. There were Christmas light displays set up.  We decided to come back after dark to see the light show.

     We had lunch at Zero One Ale House.  It was an old building with a tin ceiling and brick walls.  I had roast chicken with seared asparagus and deep fried potato balls.  Paul got a signature sandwich.  Everything was delicious.  We brought a pint of potato soup and left-overs home for dinner.  

     At 6 p.m. we drove back into town and drove through the Christmas lights display.  It was especially nice because they were set up along the river and the lights reflected in the water.  It was like a two-for-one show.  Bonnie seemed to enjoy the ride.

29 Dec 2018 (Sat) – We packed up and pulled out of Fredericksburg at 10 a.m. The weather was cold – in the 30s all day.  We drove three hours to arrive at Goodfellow AFB Recreation Area a little more than three hours later.  There are two parts to this campground – a new part and an old part.  The old part has full hookups and looks like it’s full of long-termers.  That area has lots of trees.  The new part is in a parking lot with just electric and water hookups.  There are no trees and no wifi either.  After set up, we drove to the office and checked in.  Then we drove over to the base (the campground is five miles off base), and shopped for a few things in the base exchange. We returned and just tried to hunker down and stay warm.  WTH?? This is Texas!

28 Dec 2018 (Fri) – After Bonnie’s walk, we went next door to Nury’s for breakfast.  I tried something called Divorced Eggs and Paul had biscuits and gravy. The food was good (again).  Sorry we discovered this place so late in our stay. We would have eaten a few more meals there.

     At around 1:00 PM, there came a banging on the door.  A campground employee was asking when we were leaving.  Apparently, the schedule said we were leaving today when we thought we were leaving tomorrow.  We walked up to the office and found conflicting information in the files – one item said we were leaving today; another said we were leaving tomorrow.  The clerk told us the winter Texans were coming in today and the campground was full.  After some discussion, we had to move from site 80 to site 1.  We called and made a reservation at our next place arriving tomorrow so we needed to stay here one more night.  Luckily, they had a spot.

27 Dec 2018 (Thu) – We spent the day taking down the Christmas tree.  We sure do have a lot of ornaments!  We also went next door to Nury’s International Restaurant for lunch.  It turned out to be something like a Mexican restaurant but with an eclectic menu.  There were the usual tacos, enchiladas, and quesadillas, but there were also some other more exotic offerings – coconut shrimp, egg rolls, etc.  The food was good and the staff was super friendly.

26 Dec 2018 (Wed) – At noon, we rode into town for lunch.  We wanted to go to a barbecue place but it was closed for Christmas vacation.  That was disappointing.  So we stopped at Hilda’s Tortillas.  The parking lot was full, which is always a clue that the food is good.  And it was. We took a quart of chicken tortilla soup home for dinner.

    Thunderstorms rolled in tonight. There was also some hail.  The TV news reporters were all warning about heavy hail and tornados.  It was a little scary.  

25 Dec 2018 (Tue-Christmas Day) – We stayed in the campground today working on putting together the caravan book for next May.  At 12:15 p.m.  I prepared green beans for the potluck luncheon and at 1:00 p.m. we went to the community center for the campground Christmas meal.  I think everyone in the campground must have been there along with a few family members.  The hall was full!  We haven’t seen that many people at the other two events we have been at.  I would have made more beans.  As it was, the meal was delicious.  The choices were very plentiful.  The dessert table was laden with goodies.  We came home stuffed.

24 Dec 2018 (Mon) – We did the laundry today. At 6:30 p.m. we went to the Fredericksburg United Methodist Church for their traditional candlelight service. It was similar to home with a few minor differences.  The minister went on a little too long with his sermon but it was a good message.  I always loved the Christmas Eve candlelight service.  It became especially important to me as my children grew up and left.  Our daughter would come back and attend the service occasionally.  At those rare times, I would feel close to her again as we sang “Silent Night” and hugged one another.  There is no more closeness with my children today.  Not like it was when they were bound to me as children.  Now they have families of their own and that special parent-child closeness is gone, only to be recaptured in rare moments like the Christmas Eve service.  I miss my babies.

 23 Dec 2018 (Sun) – We stayed around the campground today.  At 5 p.m. we went to a Christmas Eve Eve party.  Everyone was supposed to bring an appetizer and grab bag gift.  Unfortunately, the “bag” was supposed to include a gift bag to put your gift in.  We just wrapped our pathetic little gifts and they were the last ones to be chosen. Now I know.  The appetizers were all good and included a couple of dessert items.  We both got wine for our gifts.

 22 Dec 2018 (Sat) – We went to Becker Vineyards at 11 a.m. for a wine and food pairing.  It was very nice.  There was just one other couple and us in the “special room” where we had our tasting. A young woman gave us samples of five wines, each with a special tidbit to eat with it.  It was all very good.  Afterward, we went into the general tasting area and bought a glass of wine to drink out on the patio.  We also picked up some water crackers, fig jam, and truffle honey as well as three bottles of wine.

     We then drove to the grocery store and picked up some items.  This time we remembered to pick up some meat to put Bonnie’s pills in.  We also drove down the road to find the United Methodist Church in town.  Now that it’s located, we will attend service on Christmas Eve.  We stopped for lunch at a very German restaurant – Friedhelm’s Bavarian Inn.  The food was very good.

     I started a diet on December 10th.  I had a great initial start – lost 8 pounds in 4 days.  Then I lost not an ounce for the next 7 days despite strict adherence to the program.  When you don’t see any progress like that, you feel like giving up.  Who starts a diet just before the holidays any way? Unless you deliberately want to sabotage your efforts.  Yesterday’s appetizer event followed by last night’s outing to the Airport lounge was the final straw.  That break with the diet was cemented by today’s exotic food samplings.  Guess I’ll have to get back on the diet train as a New Year’s resolution.  *sigh*

21 Dec 2018 (Fri) – We drove into town and picked up a few items at WalMart.  Then we drove out to the Old Tunnel State Park, about 12 miles out of town.  There was a short hike down the trail and back.  They have benches where people can sit and watch the bats emerge from the tunnel at night.  Just like they do at Carlsbad Caverns.

     The 920-foot tunnel was originally built in the 1910s by the townspeople themselves.  They needed a route from Fredericksburg to San Antonio.  It ran for three years then was scrapped in the 1940s.  Now the tunnel is home to 3 million Mexican free-tailed bats from May to October each year.

      We discovered a café next door.  When we checked Trip Advisor, the café was rated 5 out of 89 restaurants in Fredericksburg.  It was a small café with yellowed signs on the walls.  There was a wood burning stove sitting in the middle of the room and a column supporting the main support beam with signatures all over the column.  I ordered chili and Paul got a ham sandwich. His sandwich was huge.  My chili was very spicy and I could only eat little more than half of the bowl.

     At 5 p.m. we went to the community center in the campground for social hour.  We made prosciutto and melon for our contribution to the appetizers.  We met an interesting couple from Iowa.  They invited us to join them at the Officer’s lounge at the airport for drinks later.  At 6 p.m. there was a golf cart parade.  It consisted of six carts decorated with lights and other items that slowly wound their way back and forth among the RVs.

     After the parade, we took Bonnie for a quick walk then drove to the Airport lounge.  A man who has been blind since birth was playing the grand piano in the lounge.  He was very good.  We stayed for about two hours.

20 Dec 2018 (Thu) – After Bonnie’s long walk this morning, we drove into town.  First stop was at WalMart to pick up a few items.  Unfortunately, we forgot to get something to give Bonnie her pills with so we’ll have to go back tomorrow.  After WalMart, we walked up and down the Main Street looking for gifts. We will be attending a Christmas party here at the campground and everyone is supposed to bring a grab bag gift. We also stopped by UPS to mail off the last of our Christmas packages.

     For lunch, we went to The Auslander.  It was an old historical building built of stone. Inside were several cuckoo clocks on the wall.  None of them chimed on the hour so I guess they were turned off.  There were animals heads mounted around the restaurant – a moose, an elk, a deer, and a long horn cow.  I cannot understand the need to cut the head off something and stick it up on a wall.

     As we’ve been driving around town, we are discovering there are many lodges, inns, hotels, motels, and B&Bs.  I guess this really is a destination place.  Last year, someone told us that they have a big population of college students here during spring break.

19 Dec 2018 (Wed) – We’ve fallen into the habit of taking Bonnie for a long walk each morning.  She eats.  We have our breakfast.  Then around 9:30/10:00 a.m. we go for a 20-30 minute walk.  She looks forward to them very much.  She’ll start barking at us when she’s decided it’s time to go.  It’s funny.

     We spent the day in the campground.  At 4:30 p.m. we brought Bonnie to the vet.  He found she has a UTI and put her on antibiotics. We dropped Bonnie off back at the campground, then drove into town for dinner and the show.  There are not that many restaurants on Main Street, as we discovered when we went looking for one.  We finally wound up at The Rathskeller, a basement eatery in what used to be a hospital back in the 1800s.  There wasn’t much of a menu choice but we managed.  When done, we went to the Rockbox Theater where we spent two watching a musician who looked like John Denver play those great songs from the 70s.

 18 Dec 2018 (Tue) – We drove to Fredericksburg today and are staying at the Fredericksburg RV Park.  It is a higher-end campground.  The nightly fee is normally $49.  We got a weekly rate that equals $45 a night, and then a daily rate of $49 for three nights.  We wanted to stay through until the beginning of January but they only had a site available until December 29.  Guess we’ll spend New Year’s somewhere else.  This campground is pretty nice.  They have excellent wifi (we haven’t see THAT in a long time), and a good selection of cable TV channels.  We have full hook-ups.  There is a dog run in the campground.  The place is neat, clean, and orderly.

     While thumbing through some of the literature we picked up in the office, Paul spotted an ad for a John Denver Musical Tribute tomorrow night.  We drove into town, bought propane, then went to the theater to buy tickets.  They weren’t open.  We got the website address then went back to the camper and ordered two tickets online.  It sounds like a great show.

 17 Dec 2018 (Mon) – Bonnie has a urinary infection.  She paced, didn’t seem able to sit still for long, and whined to go out every hour or two last night.  She kept us going all night long.  We pulled up stakes today and drove to Luling.  It was a one night stay on the way back to Fredericksburg for the holiday.  Bonnie was better this morning.  Now I think she might have had a kidney stone that she passed.

16 Dec 2018 (Sun) – I called the next campground and made a reservation for tomorrow night.  We still need to decide where we are going to stay after that. We drove into town to make a deposit at Navy FCU.  I got two checks for dues to the Nomads in yesterday’s mail delivery. Unfortunately, the bank would not accept the deposit through the ATM because I did not have the ATM card with me. Aaarrrgggghhhh!  We then drove to Pet Smart and picked up about ten days worth of food. Fredericksburg (where we are ultimately headed) does not have a Pet Smart or PetCo close by.  We then got fuel and stopped for lunch at the Long Horn Steakhouse.  The food was just as good as it was the other day.  We both took leftovers home to enjoy again.  We returned to the camper and began to make preparations to move on tomorrow.  Yay!!!  It will be fun to be on the move again.

 15 Dec 2018 (Sat) – We hung around the camper all day.  I worked on the books for the Utah caravan.  Paul did some work on the computer and around the RV.  We got our forwarded mail from Escapees.  There was a delightful ornament from our dear friend, Jan, back home in New York.  It made us both happy to be remembered and sad to be apart.  We also got some towels and placemats from Paul’s sister, Joan. They are so “us” with an Americana theme.

14 Dec 2018 (Fri) – We went shopping today for jeans and shoes.  Their “shopping mall” was nothing like it is back home.  It seems to be stores that were separately built and slowly connected over time by additions, overhead bridges, and tunnels.  We turned into Dillard’s parking lot thinking it was the anchor store for the mall.  We walked through the store only to come out into the parking garage.  No other stores.  WTH?  Across the street was a 25 story building titled Galleria tower (as in administration). We crossed the street and walked behind the tower and found the mall in buildings that interconnected in back. The mall itself was four stories high. There was an ice rink on the lowest level.  We wandered around trying to find shoe stores.  The mall is billed as an upscale mixed-use urban development retail complex. Most of the stores were higher end (Dillard’s, Nordstrom, Neiman-Marcus).  We stopped in several shops before we got what we wanted.

     On the way back to the RV, we stopped at Saltgrass Steak House for lunch.  Everything was delicious.  When we got back, we fed the animals then went into the Elks Lodge to get our mail and pay for another three nights here.  We had planned to leave on December 13th but we have been held up waiting for all our packages to arrive.  All that’s left is our forwarded mail, due to arrive tomorrow.  We’ll move on Monday.  

13 Dec 2018 (Thu) – It rained on and off all night.  At 2:00 AM, the skies opened and came down in buckets.  At 4:30 AM, the water sensor alarm in the basement went off.  Paul put on his swim suit and rain jacket and ran out to reset it.  He no sooner stepped back in the RV when the alarm when off again.  He went back out into the deluge and pulled the alarm out. He was soaked.  The entryway was soaked.  The towels to dry everything off were soaked.  What a mess!  It finally stopped raining around 6:00 AM.

     Paul replaced the water pump this morning.  It went on a kind of strike.  When we were hooked up to a water source, the pump worked. When we were not hooked up, it would not work.  It seemed to forget that its whole purpose in life is to pump water from our onboard tanks when we don’t have a water source.  Paul also tried to find out where water was leaking into the basement.  The basement door has shifted downward a bit. Apparently just enough to let a heavy rain drive through it.  

     I got a text from Best Buy that the laptop was ready for pickup.  That was unexpected (but welcome).  We drove over and picked it up.  Also stopped at the post office to mail off the additional Christmas cards I wrote out, and at the UPS customer center to mail off a package to our other grandson. I also picked up some lottery tickets to mail as a gift.

     Now, the weather forecast is for winds coming down from Montana.  Wind speed projected to be between 10 and 25 mph with occasional gusts up to 40 mph.  

 12 Dec 2018 (Wed) – It was a busy day today! I finished most of the Christmas cards and we went to the post office to mail them off along with a package to our grandsons.  We then stopped at Pet Smart, Kroger, and Total Wine where Paul finally found 43 (he loves that stuff).  I needed to pick up more Christmas cards so we made a stop at Dollar Store.  There was a pleasant stop at Long Horn Steakhouse where the food was exquisite.  We also dropped the laptop off at Best Buy and asked them to clean it up – remove viruses and malware.  The tech said they were busy and wouldn’t have it done until Saturday.  

     The weather forecast is for rain tonight going right into tomorrow morning.  The ground around here is already so soaked.  Guess they’ll have more flash flooding.  Hope things don’t get too bad.

 11 Dec 2018 (Tue) – We spent the day at the camper today.  I spent it working on Christmas cards.  Paul worked around the RV.  We got our new laptop computer this afternoon and now Paul is working on getting that set up.

10 Dec 2018 (Mon) – We went out to get propane today.  There was also a stop at the post office to mail a card, then a stop at Office Depot to pick up ink and labels.  Then I spent the day working on Christmas cards.

9 Dec 2018 (Sun) – We drove 45 minutes to Tomball to go to the German Fest. It was a street fair with a Christmas theme.  There were elves, a Santa, and a snow queen.  Musicians dressed in colorful costumes roamed the walk playing Christmas music on accordions.  There were also five tent areas with musicians and dancers entertaining the crowd.  The festival was set up on Cherry Street and ran for about 4 or 5 blocks.  The booths were interspersed with vendors and food.  There was a good mix of items.  The people who coordinated the festival made sure there were very few duplicates.  That made it very interesting.  There was lots of food – I think a food vendor was in every fourth or fifth booth. We stopped in Brautigams Barn Grill for lunch.  It was an old building decked out in western style.  We tried mulled wine at one booth and sampled delicious tarts at another booth.

8 Dec 2018 (Sat) – It really poured most of the night.  The rain was thrumming on the roof and there was thunder cracking every so often.  The ground was good and soaked this morning with lots of puddles around.  Some areas around Houston experienced flooding.   The news showed pictures of cars and streets underwater.

     It didn’t rain today but it was heavily overcast and chilly.  The temperature was in the high 40s with a crisp cold wind blowing in from the west. We went to Sweet Tomatoes for lunch. That is such a great place.  I hope they expand to Long Island soon.  I think everybody back home would like them very much.  

     After lunch we went to the movies to see “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald.”  The plot was hard to follow and the English(?) accents made it hard to understand some of what was being said.  The graphics were very good but overall, we didn’t really enjoy the show.

     We stopped at WalMart to pick up a few groceries. After we put them away, we stopped in the lodge for a nightcap.  They had a steak dinner last night and about 25 people showed up for it.  We didn’t want to leave the camper in that rain so kudos to those guys!

 7 Dec 2018 (Fri) – Paul picked up a few items at Home Depot in order to clear clogs in the bathroom and kitchen sinks. At noon, we went to Best Burger for lunch.  It was like a Chinese restaurant that wasn’t making it so they added burgers and tacos to the menu.  We both got burgers but we could just as easily have ordered goo gai pan or chicken chow mein or any one of a dozen other Chinese or Mexican dishes.  

     We drove to the UPS distribution center to pick up packages.  They were Christmas gifts we ordered and had to put a hold on.  There were three packages to pick up.  We will get two more packages but they’re going to be delivered to the lodge.  Had we known the lodge accepted mail, we would have sent everything there.  This will teach us to ask first before placing orders.

     We drove to the BAPS Shri Swaminariyana Mandir Hindu Temple.  They open the niches where the religious statues are kept at specific times during the day.  We were not there at those times.  The temple was absolutely striking.  The inner or bottom portion of the temple is made of Italian marble.  The outer portion of the temple is made of Indian sandstone.  The carvings were exquisite.  The docent told us the marble was sent to India for carving by craftsmen.  It took two or three years for the work then the temple was shipped in pieces to Texas where it was put together.  We had to remove our shoes before entering the building. There was a separate room for men and for women.  You took your shoes off and then had to walk back outside and up the temple steps before entering the building.  It was raining when we came out and we had to walk on the wet cement in our stocking feet. We were not allowed to take pictures inside.  There was a separate building that housed a gift shop that was full of food items, incense, and other items from India.

      Thunderstorms rolled in at night and it was pouring when we went to bed.  There were many warnings coming over the TV and phone warning about flash flooding.

 6 Dec 2018 (Thu) – The day started out drizzly and overcast but cleared up in the afternoon.  We took Bonnie for a walk and wandered through the Chung Mei Buddhist Temple across the street.  It looks like it started out really nice but they just didn’t have the money to keep up with things.  It is neat and attractive with a large tiled roof and a tea house inside.  Across the street from that is a columbaria.  It is an ornate building with a tiled roof and lots of terra cotta animals.  There is a nice garden walk with statues in concentric circles.  There were several concrete pads with no statues on them. Guess they’re waiting for people to buy the space.  It looked like the statues opened up and you could put an urn in.

     At 6:30 PM, we drove to the Houston Zoo for the Zoo Lights display.  It got warmer and the walk was pleasant.  The place was pretty full but not packed like it would be on the weekend.  The zoo collects used lights and refurbishes them (I guess) to put around the walkways for the holidays.  We bought a spiked chocolate for me and a Christmas for Paul and we sipped while we walked along the pathways.  It was all very pretty.  We even took a ride on the carousel.

 5 Dec 2018 (Wed) – I had an appointment with Dr. Ahmed at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center this afternoon.  The results of the bone marrow biopsy will not be back until next week so we made a date for a telephone appointment.  The doctor didn’t want me to have to pay a co-pay just to hear those results.  That was very thoughtful of her.  The bloodwork was mostly within normal limits.  No problem there.  The CT scan showed one particular lymph node in the abdomen has been growing.  It is now 7cm x 5cm.  It is starting to press on my bladder and left ovary.  The one that was supposed to be 8cm turned out to be maybe 1.8cm.  Looks like a typo.  The doctor wants me to have another scan in three months.  She gave me a list of symptoms to watch for.

     Paul and I finally figured out the shuttle bus system. We park in an open lot at the Texas Medical Center.  They run shuttles on a blue and a white route.  One stops in the back of the hospital; the other stops at the main entrance. We take the blue bus to get in the entrance easily, then take the white bus because it has a shorter route and we get back to the parking lot faster.  There is a pay-for-parking machine where you put in a poker chip called a SMART chip, pay with cash or credit card, then take the chip to the gate. The machine did not cooperate with me and wouldn’t accept my credit cards (I tried 3 different ones and a debit card).  Paul was able to get the machine to work.  Technology can be very frustrating.

      On the way home, we stopped at Corelli’s Italian Café for dinner.  I have not eaten pasta is a very long time.  I gave in and had lasagna.  We had to ask for Italian bread.  It was not the nice crusty type but more like a white bread.  It was still good.

4 Dec 2018 (Tue) – We went to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center this morning.  I had a bone marrow biopsy/aspiration at 8:30 a.m.  After that, I had a CT scan.  The doctor wants to verify the size of the nodes.  My last PET scan states that one node is 8 cm.  She thought that was very large and should be prominent, but it’s not.

     After all that stuff, we stopped at Pappas Bar-B-Q. It is a very old looking restaurant with lots of cars in the parking lot.  There was a female guard standing outside the restaurant.  I was curious as to why they had a guard.  Was the area dangerous?  When we came out, I asked her: “Do you stand security here all day?” She pointed at some tables on the patio behind her and said that she sits down when she gets tired.  Paul thought her answer was so funny that he had to walk away without laughing in her face.  I spoke further with her and explained that I was curious about why there was a guard in the parking lot.  She said she was responsible for watching over the parking to make sure people didn’t back into each other as the lane between the rows is narrow.  I didn’t ask her why she needed a gun to do that. There is a large number of homeless people around.  They hang out around the intersections with their cardboard signs and down trodden eyes. You can see where they sleep up under the bridges.  Paul has taken to giving them a bottle of water.  Soon, he’ll be known as the Water Man.

      The Elks Lodge had dinner tonight.  They were serving red beans and rice.  It was pretty good.  They had cornbread with it instead of the one slice of white bread all the other barbecue places give you.  That seems kind of dumb because you can’t even make a sandwich with the one slice of bread.

 3 Dec 2018 (Mon) – We went to the National Museum of Funeral History.  We didn’t know what to expect but it turned out to be quite interesting.  It was a large museum with many exhibits.  There were hearses, stories about burials, coffins, mourning clothes, urns, and storyboards.  A crematory was set up to look at and placards explained how cremation works.  It takes the human body two to three hours to be reduced to ashes.  The bones are then put in a pulverizer and everything is reduced to a fine, sand like texture.  In Japan, after the body is reduced to ashes they are given to the family with the bones. The family uses chopsticks to pick out the bones to transfer to an urn.  They make sure the feet go in the urn first and the head goes into the urn last. This is so the dead doesn’t go into the urn upside down.

      There were some of the most beautiful urns on display as well as the many ways people display the ashes of loved ones.  There was jewelry, and hair ornaments, and monochrome photos made from ash.  There was a section named Thanks for the Memories.  Inside were videos, photos, and storyboards dedicated to famous people who have passed on – Marilyn Monroe, Adam West, Bob Hope, etc.  Another section discussed the burials of popes and another addressed the treatment of presidents.  A bunting that has hung at the White House in the past had been borrowed for display at President George H.W. Bush’s coffin tomorrow.  The whole museum addressed the culture of death and burial/cremation with respect and professionalism.  It was very informative.

2 Dec 2018 (Sun) – We stayed around the camper today.  Paul tried to place an order for a laptop with Dell.  What an aggravating experience!  He tried to place the order online but there was a technical error. So we called Dell.  Of course, the rep we spoke with had very poor English skills (that always drives Paul crazy).  They needed to verify our information on file so they wanted to send a code to our email on file.  We no longer have that email address.  They wanted to send a text message to the phone number of file.  We have a different number now.   The agent then suggested sending the code – by mail – to the address on record.  Of course, we no longer live in New York.  It was maddening.  I told him to cancel the order and hung up.  

     A few minutes later the phone rang.  It was the salesman we had initially placed the order with over the phone.  He was appalled to hear of the problems we were having and suggested we open a preferred account in my name.  That would give us a year to pay for the computer with no interest charge and gave us additional discounts off the price.  It was a creative solution.  There’s nothing like a hungry salesman!

     We placed other orders online.  And I spent some time corresponding with our new tailgunners.  We went for a walk this afternoon.  While walking, we found a bunch of mail on the ground.  It looked like someone had stolen it then dumped it, or a postal worker had decided not to deliver it and just threw it out the window.  There were some advertisements but also statements from various companies.  It was all addressed to different people who live on the same street.  We collected it and will try to notify the post office about what we found.  There were some red ants crawling on the mail and I got bit several times.  Ouch!

1 Dec 2018 (Sat) – We did laundry today.  That was quite an experience!  We were driving along, looking for a laundromat and saw “Washateria.”  We stopped and went it.  It was a large facility and entirely Spanish.  The signs were Spanish; all the people in there were Spanish; the only language being spoken was Spanish.  We found two washers open and put our clothes in.  The laundromat was in a small strip mall on a corner.  We walked down to a café next door and got lunch.  The menu consisted of a large batch of pictures on the wall with descriptions in Spanish.  Paul got a quesadilla and I got something with corn tortillas, beef, beans, rice, lettuce and tomato.  

     We made several other stops  - RV store, groceries, vitamins, fuel, and pet food. It was a pretty busy day.

 30 Nov 2018 (Fri) – We spent the day again restricted to the RV.  Finally, Ford called at 3:30 p.m. to say the truck was done.  The shuttle service stopped running at 3 p.m. and there was none over the weekend.  We pressed Ford on the topic and the agent relented and sent a mechanic to pick Paul up. There was a hose and clamp that needed replacing and a bad sensor.  Total repair cost = $780.

     The Elks Lodge had a dinner tonight.  It turned out to be a hamburger and fries. Wasn’t that good but it was a meal.

     I got an email from Jon & Nancy, volunteering to be the tail gunners on our caravan.  They have led three caravans – two to the Maritimes and one to Calgary – and offer great experience.  We gladly accepted.  We will have to figure out when we can get together.  They agreed to take on the responsibilities for the campgrounds. Carl & Gwen have all that information so they’ll have to figure out how to get that info from them.

29 Nov 2018 (Thu) – Paul dropped the truck off at the Ford dealer this morning at 7:30 a.m.  A shuttle brought him back.  We spent the day in the RV, having no transportation to go anywhere.  Also, it started raining in the afternoon.  The weather app is warning about thunderstorms, hail, and tornadoes tonight and tomorrow.  Oh, boy.

     The tail gunner on our Utah caravan called tonight to say they had to step down.  Gwen’s mother has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been given 6-9 months to live.  That would be about the time our caravan is scheduled to go.  We wished them our best.  I’m starting to think this caravan is cursed.

 28 Nov 2018 (Wed) – We drove into Houston proper today to the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.  We pulled into the parking garage that was posted at 7’0” clearance.  Three floors up, it changed to 6’10”.  We couldn’t fit under that so we had to turn around and go back down.  We stopped at the office and got a map taking us to an open parking lot a couple of blocks away.  After we parked, we caught a shuttle on the Texas University Medical Center bus that dropped us off near the main building entrance to the cancer center.

      We found our way up to the sixth floor and the Lymphoma/Myeloma Center.  I checked in at 9:25 a.m. (appointment was for 9:30 a.m.).  I didn’t get called into the registration office until 10:00 a.m. I grabbed the wrong purse and did not have my driver’s license or insurance cards with me.  I felt so stupid!!  Instead of turning me out on my ear, the nurse checked me in and let me use my Army ID. After registration, I went back to my seat.  Then I was called in for weighing, height measurement, temp, oxygen measurement, and blood pressure.  Then it was back to my seat again.  Finally, even though my doctor’s appointment was for 10 a.m., I was called into the exam room at 11:30 a.m.  

     A soft spoken Vietnamese young man with an accent and a face mask checked my records.  He was hard to understand but we got through it.  That was followed by a young female P.A. who reviewed my medical history then did a perfunctory physical exam.  A doctor from the research department came in and asked if I would consent to donating my bodily fluids and left over blood for research. I said yes; she recorded my answers; then left.  Finally! The doctor arrived.  It was a middle aged woman who was impressed with our lifestyle.  After talking about how she and her husband would like to explore the country, we got down to brass tacks.  She wants to do a CT scan to verify the results of the last scan I had. She is also ordering a bone marrow biopsy in order to see what kind of cancer I have.  Apparently, there are some markers that indicate whether a cancer can be cured or if it will come back after treatment.  I made the appointments for next week.

     After navigating our way out of the building, we boarded a shuttle and got a ride back to the parking lot.  When we pulled in, we got a SMART chip (which looks just like a cheap plastic poker chip).  When we left, we put the chip in a machine, paid with our credit card, and received the SMART chip back.  We used that to exit the parking lot.  It was all quite an experience.

     We stopped at La Gallitas for lunch.  It was a Mexican restaurant with excellent margaritas. The food was good, too.  Then we drove to a local U-Haul and got our propane tank refilled.  After that, we stopped at a Ford dealership to make an appointment to get the truck repaired.  The CHECK ENGINE light has been on for about a month.  Also, we are still getting a coolant leak from the radiator.  The Ford rep told us we did not need to make an appointment.  Just bring the truck in and drop it off in the morning.

27 Nov 2018 (Tue) – We packed up and pulled out of our campsite at 9:30 a.m.  After a stop at the dump station to empty the tanks, we left Fort Hood Belton Lake Outdoor Recreation Area and headed out to Houston.  It was a long drive – five and a half hours!  We stopped once to use the restroom and once to pick up lunch at Checkers.  The weather was clear and the traffic was good until we hit the outskirts of Houston. As with all big cities (and this is the third most populated in the U.S.), the traffic was slogging along.  We arrived at the Elks Lodge in Stafford (a suburb of Houston) at 3:00 p.m.

     After set up, we went into the lodge to pay for our site.  They have a daily rate of $25, a half-month rate of $250 (number of days are dubious), and a monthly rate of $500.  We paid for half a month.  We’re guessing that’s 16 days.

     Next, we drove to MD Anderson Cancer Center to see where it is.  Oh. My. God. The number of medical buildings in the one area is humongous!  I had to find Parking Garage 10.  We saw signs indicating there were over 23 entrances.  We found the garage but the height is too low for the truck.  It looks like we’ll have to use the valet tomorrow.

     The lodge hosted a chicken and dumplings dinner tonight.  It was pretty good.  Everybody was very friendly.

26 Nov 2018 (Mon) – We drove into Temple today to see the museums but they were all closed.  That just didn’t seem fair.  They were already closed for the Thanksgiving holiday – Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Why should they be closed on Monday, too?

     We finally gave up and went to H-E-B.  They have a counter where they serve a lunch meal. We had something to eat before shopping, and then picked up some groceries.  Afterward, we got fuel and headed back to the campground.  Paul got a campfire going and we enjoyed the heat as the temperatures have dropped in the last two days.  After it was dark, we took a last drive through the Christmas light display around the lake.  It was all very pretty. With Christmas music playing on the radio, I think we are getting into the seasonal mood.

25 Nov 2018 (Sun) – Many of the RVs left today.  After they were gone, Paul walked around the campsites and collected firewood people left behind.  He brought it back to our site and we enjoyed a campfire all afternoon.  We spent the day in the campground.  We walked Bonnie down by the lake to see how much the water has receded.  Part of the roadway are still underwater.  Some of the picnic tables and barbecues are starting to come out of the water.  The water level is dropping about four or five feet a day.  They have quite a while before everything resurfaces.

 24 Nov 2018 (Sat) – We went out at lunch time to the Dead Fish Grill for lunch.  After sunset, we walked out around the campground to look at the Christmas lights.  A lot of cars were driving through the route.  We watched “A Christmas Story” tonight.  That was a pretty funny movie.  We enjoyed another campfire.

 23 Nov 2018 (Fri) – We went out for lunch at Benny’s Ristorante.  We tried going to two museums in the area but they are closed for the holiday weekend. Bummer.  We drove around Belton Lake and checked out the two campgrounds around the Belton Dam before returning to the campground.  The campfire was so nice last night that Paul bought more firewood and we had another fire tonight.

22 Nov 2018 (Thu-Thanksgiving Day) – We stayed in the campground today.  I cooked a turkey breast, mashed potatoes, green beans, and gravy.  I tried some desserts ketogenic style but they didn’t turn out very good – blueberry pie and chocolate coconut milk ice cream.  Yuk.

      We went for a walk at sunset.  The light show was just coming on.  We were surprised at the number of cars driving through.  We thought nobody would come on a holiday.  We were wrong!  When we walked down by the lake, we saw signs of recent flooding.  The road is actually underwater by the lakefront so we can see why the lights down by there have not been turned on.  It looks like they either started putting up the light show when the flood started or it was set up when the flooding happened.  Either way, the roadway leading down that way is cordoned off.  It was pretty to look at the lights that are on.  They have miles and miles of Christmas lights lining the road and then loads of lighted figures.  It is all very nice.  We could hear the kids excitedly exclaiming about the things they were seeing as they drove by. 

      We had a campfire tonight.  It was so pleasant.  When we camped during our work years, it was such a pleasure to disconnect from the TV and radio and just enjoy nature.  Now, since we are living on the road full-time, campfires are rare.  And we use the Internet every day to check on the weather, to explore campgrounds, to find out news, to see what’s happening back home, etc.  Things are very different between full-time and just camping.

      We watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” tonight.  That’s my favorite Thanksgiving movie. 

 21 Nov 2018 (Wed) – Last night, we took a ride through the Christmas lights display.  It was pretty awesome.  LEDs have sure made for brighter and better light shows as well as making the cost so much cheaper.   There were some, but not many, cars driving the course.  We suspect it will be really busy over the weekend.  There is a part down by the beach with trucks set up to sell food that was closed.  It is probably only open on the weekend.  We’ll see.

     We drove over to Fort Hood today.  That base is huge!  It has to be the largest military base we have ever been.  We drove in and out of gates on different segments of the base. We finally found the campground we wanted to stay at but couldn’t because they were full.  The clerk in the office gave us a base map and showed us where Club Hood was as well as the PX, commissary, and museums.  We drove over to the Museum of the 1st Cavalry Division. The museum was small but comprehensive. Outside were dozens of tanks, APCs, trucks, cars, and helicopters.  We strolled around the concourse reading the descriptions of the displays.

     When done, we found our way to Club Hood. That was also very large!  After wandering around the halls and peeking into ballrooms set up for banquets, we got to the office and asked about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.  They have 80 tables set up and will have two servings – one at 11 a.m. and the other at 2 p.m.  Unfortunately, they were full and no reservations were available.  They told us we could go to any of the mess halls to eat as they do a nice meal set-up, too.

     We left the base and found a barbecue place to have lunch.  It was small and was one of those places where you order by the pound at a counter. Paul got pulled pork and I got ribs. The food was OK.  The clerk taking orders was an Asian woman who barely spoke English.  She was very hard to understand.  There were also religious pictures hanging in the bathrooms.  It was all just weird.

      Next stop was at H-E-B. for groceries.  The place was so packed.  It seemed like everyone was doing their Thanksgiving shopping. We returned to the campground. They had closed part of the roadway for the light show and it bypassed the entrance to the area of the campground where our rig is parked.  We had to drive around a bunch of cones then drive the wrong way on a one-way road to get home.  Ugh.

20 Nov 2018 (Tue) – We left Fredericksburg at 9:30 a.m.  The temperatures were in the low 40s.  The sky was clear.  Traffic was easy.  Three hours later we arrived at Fort Hood Belton Lake Outdoor Recreation Annex. The campground is not on the actual military base.  The road into the camp area is decorated with Christmas lights.  Apparently, they use the road into and within the campground to do a drive through the lights like many other places do.  It is open to military and civilian alike.

     Our campsite is a back-in on a concrete pad. Trees are heavy around the area and we had to adjust entry to avoid overhanging branches.  We only have 30-amp electric and water hookup – no sewer. According to Trip Adviser, there really isn’t anything to see in Killeen.  And we’re here for a week!  Oh, boy. Priority for now is to find out where the dining facility is so we can enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.

 19 Nov 2018 (Mon) – We drove to the Texas Ranger Heritage Center expecting to tour a museum about Texas Rangers.  It is something in the process of being developed but there was no museum to tour.  There was a large open area where a band was playing music too loudly.  We left there and drove to the Pioneer Museum. This is a 4 acre complex that has several original buildings to the town.  Two are sited on their original places.  We read a plaque that said over 6,000 Germans came to America to start a new life.  They didn’t get picked up and taken to their new land as was agreed, and many died of starvation and illness at the port.  Finally, some pioneers decided to go to their new land on their own rather than waiting to be picked up.  They made their way to Fredericksburg and created a new settlement.  

     We then decided to explore some of the wineries in the area.  There are about 30 to 40 vineyards on Route 290 coming into the town of Fredericksburg. We went to three of them and bought several bottles of wine.  We also enjoyed a cheese and meat board for lunch.  It was a pleasant day.

     We stopped to get our propane tank filled and then at the gas station to top off for tomorrow’s move.  We also went to Tractor Supply to try and find some food for Bonnie.  There is no PetCo or Pet Smart in town and her being on this special diet makes it difficult to find food for her.  We picked up two cans of fish and potato, hoping that there will be a better supply in Killeen.

 18 Nov 2018 (Sun) – We went back to the National Museum of the Pacific War to finish touring the exhibits.  Again, there were people hanging around all over the sidewalk waiting for the tour buses to go to the wineries. 

      After wandering around the museum for two hours, we walked uptown to the main street.  We looked in the many storefronts and restaurant windows finally stopping at the Auslander Restaurant for lunch.  The food was authentic German fare and was very good. 

      We drove out to Enchanted Rock.  This is a large monolith dome that second only to Stone Mountain in Georgia.  The tail up to the dome was very steep so we did not climb it.  We came.  We saw.  We left. 

17 Nov 2018 (Sat) – We went to breakfast at the Airport Diner.  Right across the street from our camp area (you can’t really call it a campground), is a small regional airfield with two old hangers converted to lodging and entertainment venues.  The diner was at the end of the hanger facing the airfield.  We watched some planes come and go.  A P38 Mustang was giving a ride to a customer.  When we were done eating, we walked over to the Airport Hotel to look at it.  The Officer’s Club was a delightful room with small intimate areas for playing cards, having a cigar, or sharing a drink.  There was a balcony on the second floor where we went out and watched the planes.

     We drove to the Museum of the Pacific War where they were doing a reenactment of a battle.  There were between 50 and 60 actors dressed in period uniforms.  The session began with an explanation of the gear soldiers wore followed by a demonstration of each of the rifles and pistols marines and soldiers used during World War II.  They also paid tribute to the women who participated in the war.  Once all the descriptions of equipment, uniforms, and personnel were done, the actors engaged in a very realistic battle.  There were tanks, a trench, a bunker, a “cave,” and lots of weapons fire.  The entire demonstration took about an hour and a half and was great!  We enjoyed it so much.

     After the battle, we walked back and began to tour the museum.  It is huge with tons of story boards, equipment, artifacts, videos, and recordings. We walked for about two hours and were only half way through the museum when we called it quits for the day.  We walked down to the main street and had lunch at the Fredericksburg Brewing Company.  The beer cheese soup was so good that I took a quart of it home for supper tonight.  We left the restaurant and strolled down the street, popping in and out of stores to see interesting displays.  In the MarktPlatz, the town already has their Christmas tree and giant German figure candle erected.  We looked through the Vereins Kirche – the oldest social structure in Fredericksburg.  

16 Nov 2018 (Fri) – We packed up and left Austin at 9:30 a.m.  After a short stop at the dump station to empty the tanks, we drove for two hours to Fredericksburg.  We are camped at the Gillespie County Fairgrounds.  There are 20 sites lined in a row along the road with a large open field in back facing a race track with bleachers.  There are no trees but we do have full hook up with 50-amp service.  I hate when we have 30-amp because I forget and wind up blowing the breaker.  The temperature has been getting warmer each day and today it was 41 when we got up and reached 70.  

     After set up, we drove into town to do some laundry. We drove around to look at some of the older buildings.  This town, like so many others we’ve been to, was settled by German immigrants.  They seem to like stone very much as most of the buildings and homes are built with it.  We had lunch at the Backwoods BBQ.  It was a large barn like structure where you ordered the meat by the pound at a counter with some sides.  The food was excellent.  All the sides were outstanding, too.  They had creamed corn, cheesy green beans, and loaded potato salad.  There were pinto beans on the side board.  

     We stopped at the visitor center to see what is happening in town.  The agent gave us a whole schedule of events for the week as well as a map of everything in the area.  We watched a video about the town.  Their depiction of the Christmas holidays was compelling and we are going to come back here for the holidays.

 15 Nov 2018 (Thu) – We went out for lunch to Kerby Lane Café.  Afterward, we stopped at WalMart to pick up a few grocery items.  When we got back, we took Bonnie with us and hiked a trail around the McKinney Falls.  It was not easy to get near the river since a lot of the area was either fenced off or fallen in.  There was a very interesting rock ledge overhanging the trail.  It was big enough that someone could live under it.

 14 Nov 2018 (Wed) – We toured the Capitol today.  Standing outside and counting the floors, the building is ten floors high.  We discovered that they outgrew the building (which, by the way, was the tallest in the U.S. at one time), they decided to go down rather than up or out and change the shape of the original building.  They dug down 62’ and built another huge area underground.  The original building was erected in 1853.  It burned down like so many buildings of that time period.  A temporary capitol was built across the street from Capitol Square.  The new capitol building was completed in 1888.  In 1993, the underground Capitol Extension was completed which added two lower levels.

     After the Capitol, we went to the Scholz Biergarten for lunch.  The hall is supposed to be the oldest biergarten in Texas(?).  We’re not exactly sure where.  We shared a sausage platter.  There were three kinds of sausage, three kinds of mustard, sauerkraut, red cabbage, and potato pancakes.  It was all very good.

     We then drove to the Texas Military Forces Museum.  There was no charge for admission.  The museum was housed in an old hangar and was located on Camp Mabry, home of the Texas National Guard Headquarters.  It was an excellent museum.  There were storyboards, equipment, and artifacts that told the story of Texans involvement in all the armed conflicts around the world. There was excellent coverage of the war between Mexico, Texas and the United States.  Texas has flown six different flags – Spain, France, Mexico, the Republic of Texas, the Confederate States of America, and the United States of America.  Inside the museum was also the French Gratitude train car (Merci Boxcar).  It was sitting at an American Legion post for years before it was restored and moved to the museum.  

     When we were finished touring the museum (I think we walked around for about 4 hours), we drove to the Texas State Cemetery.  There were three buses parked outside and groups of school children touring the cemetery.  It seemed like a strange field trip.  We parked and walked around the cemetery.  There are many famous Texans buried there, including Stephen Austin who’s considered the Father of Texas.  It was he who convinced the Mexican government to allow American citizens to settle in the territory.  Austin died at the battle of the Alamo.

 13 Nov 2018 (Tue) – Gremlins are certainly in the works.  The furnace stopped working overnight.  When Paul got up, he turned it on, it ran for two minutes, then shut off.  He turned it on again and it ran most of the afternoon.  It again shut off on us a few more times.  It was 35 degrees outside and 55 in here when he got up.  Brrrrrrr.  We’ll have to make sure we put out the ceramic heater tonight.  We have to be careful with the electric since we only have 30 amp.

     We ran to the post office this morning to check on our forwarded mail. The mail clerk told me there was nothing.  I pushed back, saying the two packages had been mailed a week ago from Livingston. He went back and looked again and found the packages.  They had been put in the wrong place.

       We packed up and left Canyon Lake a little after noon.  Aside from the cold, the weather was good and the drive was about an hour and a half to Austin.  We pulled into McKinney Falls State Park around 1:30 p.m.  When we checked in, the clerk asked us if we wanted a pull through or back in.  We said a pull through would be convenient so she assigned campsite #59.  We also bought a Texas State annual pass for $70. That gave us a discount on the fee and paid the daily entrance fee of $6 per person.  

     We got to site #59 only to find out that it was sharply curved and we couldn’t fit in it.  The campsite next to that one, #60, was a back in but would fit our rig. So we pulled in there and tried to call the office to see if we could change.  After trying to get through for half an hour, we dropped the trailer and drove back to the office.  There were now two clerks at the counter.  It was apparent the second girl is full time because she knew right away that #59 wouldn’t fit our size rig.  The other clerk is a volunteer and doesn’t know the campground that well. At any rate, we got reassigned to #60. We returned to the campsite, Paul sawed off an overhanging branch, and we set up.  It was really cold so we stayed in the rest of the day.  We had to turn off the water again tonight because of a freeze warning.  The temperature is supposed to drop down to 29 degrees.

12 Nov 2018 (Mon) – The day was cool – overcast and misty. There was a freeze warning in effect but it never got below 40 degrees.  Paul turned off the water overnight just in case.

     We’ve been having problems with the water pump.  Paul thinks it is a loose wire in the pump.  It’s buried deep inside the bowels of the RV so it will be a major job to repair or replace it.  That’s a job left for when I fly back to New York.

     At 11:30 a.m. we drove into New Braunfels and I got a haircut.  The girl did it just right!  I get so many bad haircuts that it is delightful when I get a good one.  We then drove over to Gruene.  We walked through some of the stores then went to the Gristmill to await Jim & Theda. They arrived and we had a wonderful meal together.  They were the tailgunners on the Canadian Maritimes caravan this year and they will be the tailgunners on the Alaska caravan next year.  Lots of exciting trips for them.  They are full timers, like us, and are wintering in San Antonio near their kids and grandkids.

 11 Nov 2018 (Sun) – We spent the day hanging around the campground. At 4:30 p.m. we drove into town and had dinner at Gennaro’s Trattoria.  The waiter was great.  Zach started out by describing the specials in such a way that your mouth was watering by the time he was finished.  He was attentive, efficient, and funny.  Paul had a lamb chop and I had a grilled fish.  Everything was excellent.  The evening was delightful.

     I got a call from Jim & Theda.  We met them on our Alaska caravan in 2015.  They winter in San Antonio and invited us to meet them for lunch tomorrow.

 10 Nov 2018 (Sat) – It was in the low 40s this morning.  We brought out the electric heater last night. It will soon be time to put the flannel sheets on the bed.  We went to Willie’s Grill & Icehouse for lunch.  The restaurant was in a large, newly built mall.  It looked like the typical restaurant-in-an-old-warehouse with the customers ordering their food at the counter.  But at least they had regular items to order; not the meat by the pound option.

     After lunch, we decided to go to the movies but had to wander around for over an hour until the film started.  We went to Hobby Lobby where Paul decided they are rally a craft store; not a hobby store.  We watched the new Disney movie Nutcracker & the Four Realms.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t fully enjoy it because the seats in the theater were in such bad condition.  They were ripped and taped and worn and the back of the seat was broken so that if you tried to lean back, it was like falling over.  We stopped at the UPS Store to fax off some medical records to MD Anderson Cancer Center.  I am trying to get bloodwork done and they want me to see a doctor and review my case. It’s all about the money!

     We returned to the campground and stopped at the camp store to get our propane tank refilled (we ran out of propane overnight).  It was 3:45 p.m.  The clerk told Paul they stopped filling tanks at 3 p.m.  He just didn’t want to get up and walk outside.  The lazy bum!

9 Nov 2018 (Fri) – It rained pretty hard last night.  We had thunder, lightning, and hail.  A cold front has moved in and the temperatures are now down to the 50s in the daytime and low 40s at night.  We spent most of the day just hanging around the campground.

     At 4:30 p.m. we drove to San Antonio for dinner.  We ate at Saltgrass Steak House right on the San Antonio Riverwalk.  We were on the patio with the heaters going.  The boats riding by on the canal had all different kinds of colored lights. The walkway was very busy with all kinds of people walking by.  All the restaurants were very busy.  Our meal was delicious.  Afterward we walked along the Riverwalk with all the other tourists.  It was a very pleasant evening.  

 8 Nov 2018 (Thu) – It was a cold, gray day today.  We spent most of the day hanging around the camper with the fireplace on.  We brought our laundry over to the Fort Houston Army campground.  There are two washers and two dryers in our campground but the washers are out of order.  The laundry room in the other campground has five washers and five dryers.  We put the wash in and sat in the rec room watching TV or playing around with the stationary bikes.  When the wash was done, we put the clothes in the dryer then drove to the Post Office to pick up our mail that was forwarded here.  I got the birth and baptism certificates for my grandmother.  That was exciting to get.  I now know my great grandmother’s name!  She and great granddad both emigrated from Ireland (not together).  Now I need to work backwards in Ireland.  I hope I can find the information.  We got our laundry and returned to the campground where I spent the evening exploring Ancestry.com.

 7 Nov 2018 (Wed) – We went to Granny D’s for breakfast this morning. The food was so good.  Paul got biscuit and sausage gravy.  It had loads of meat!  I had a bacon omelet.  It was full of chopped bacon.  It was cute to hear the waitress addressing us a y’all.  Paul saw corn chowder on the menu so we ordered a quart to take home. It turned out to be a roux that we would have to add milk to.

     We ran back to the camper to drop off the chowder then drove to the Texas Heritage Museum of the Texas Hill Country.  The website said it was open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.  When we arrived, a sign strung across the fence said it was open from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.  Bummer!

     We then drove into New Braunfels to the Sophienburg Museum.  It told the story of how a prince brought 202 royal families from Germany to America.  Prince Carl of Solms and his group of colonists came to escape war, taxes, and religious persecution.  They were deeded half acre town lots and 10 acre farm lots by the Mexicans in 1845. Mexico was trying to bring settlers to the area to prevent the new America from attacking if its own citizens lived there.  That didn’t work.  lol. At any rate, over 7,300 Germans emigrated to Texas over a 3-year period.  The museum displayed lots of artifacts from the royal families.  Storyboards told how they formed new societies here.  It was very interesting.

     After the museum, we decided to drive the Devil’s Backbone Scenic Drive.  While it looked nice driving over the hills, it was nothing like the views we’ve seen elsewhere.  If hard pressed, I could buy a house on one of the hills overlooking Canyon Lake.  

     At 2 p.m. we stopped at the Heritage Museum of the Texas Hill Country. It was a tiny little house telling mostly the story of how they found fossil footprints on the property in the early 1980s.  When the owners realized what they had, they stopped clearing the land and contacted the local college.  Archeologists have been coming to the museum on a regular basis with their classes to teach their students about the animal prints found there.  In 2008 a pavilion was built over a portion of the track bed to protect it from the effects of the elements.  A walkway built all around the area allows visitors to get different views of the track bed.

     We got back to the campground around 3:30 p.m. and let the babies out to play.  I feel like we are living in the middle of a deer sanctuary.  Wherever you look, there are white tail deer.  It’s ridiculous!  I hope we won’t have any tick problems.

6 Nov 2018 (Tue-Paul’s Birthday) – There was a nice, thick fog this morning.  We left at 8:45 a.m. for a 10:00 a.m. appointment in San Antonio.  It was over an hour to get there – the traffic was heavy. I had a lymphatic drainage massage at Oak Haven Massage.  I endure these massages because it (hopefully) cleans out the lymph nodes and robs the cancer of a place to live.  I got completely undressed and lay on a heated table covered with a sheet and blanket.  The massage therapist methodically worked on each limb and my head, each time moving the covers over so she could work on my skin.  When it came time to work on the underarms (the groin, neck, and underarms are concentration points for lymph nodes), she left the sheet in place and massaged the skin through the sheet.  She did the same thing with my stomach.  All other therapists I have been to work the entire body with direct contact.  This experience was weird.

     After the massage, I got a chiropractic adjustment.  Oak Haven Massage not only has 60 therapists on staff, but they also have a chiropractor.  And the first appointment is free! The doctor was from Iowa, moved to Minnesota, and now lives in Texas.  We talked about the Midwest and Minnesota in particular. Since we just toured that state this summer, it was fresh and delightful to talk about.

     When I was all done with the workup, we were going to go to San Antonio to the Riverwalk but Paul decided he wanted to go to a town we passed yesterday.  It looked like it had a historic area with several old buildings.  When I put the name of the town in Trip Advisor – Gruene – nothing came up.  It turned out that the City of Gruene is no more.  It became part of New Brunfels and now it is just a tourist area called the Gruene Historical District.  There are a couple of blocks with old style buildings; some built new to look old and some original from the late 1800s.  We ate in a restaurant that looked like a renovated and converted barn but turned out to be newly built.  It was like some kind of sham!  We walked along the main street, stopping at a winery for a tasting.  It was an enjoyable day.

5 Nov 2018 (Mon) – We went to the office to extend for three nights. Looking at the calendar, we realized that this coming weekend is Veterans Day.  A three-day weekend down here will surely make it hard to find a campsite so we want to stay here through Tuesday.  The woman in the office told us we had to go to the other campsite where the manager works.  He is the only one who can change campsites.  Someone is scheduled to come into our site this weekend.  But the person in Site #9 left early so they could put that person in #9 and leave us in site #7.  So we drove over to the camp store and spoke with the manager.  He said that he will not change people’s campsites unless under extremely dire circumstances.  It was done in the past and people got very upset.  However, he told us we could move into site #9 if we wanted to and we could do it today, why wait?  So we went back, packed up, and moved over two spaces.

     After lunch, we drove to New Braunfels to the Wurstfest.  We got there at 3 p.m. only to find it didn’t open until 5 p.m.  There was a nearby park with a natural spring, a swimming pool, a volleyball court, and a small scale train that circled the park.  It was quite large and we spent an hour strolling around it.  At 4 p.m. we returned to the gate, took a seat on the bench, and waited until they opened.  The line started to grow until it was all the way down the block.  The gate opened at 5 p.m. and we entered. First thing was to buy drink tickets. Then we found our way to biergarten to get a beer and glass of wine.  Then we sat in the great hall and listened to the German band and watch people moving about the large dance floor.  When our drinks were done, we went out to the concessions stands and bought a dinner to potato pancakes and sausage.  We went back into the great hall to eat and listen to the band.

     The Wurstfest is the biggest Octoberfest we’ve ever seen.  There were dozens of concessionaires – many of them run by nonprofits (Boy Scouts, Elks, Masons, Children’s Hospital, etc.).  We found a place selling Christmas ornaments and was able to buy one for Wurstfest 2018. We wandered around and listened to the different bands playing around the facility – there were six of them.  It was a delightful evening.  We left at 6:30 p.m.

4 Nov 2018 (Sun) – We let the animals play outside this morning. Every once in a while, a deer would run by and both the dog and cat would freeze and watch them.  It was funny to see.  At noon, we tucked them safely in the trailer and went out for lunch. First stop was at Granny D’s but it was so crowded and we could see people waiting outside (we forgot about Sunday brunches) so we passed on it.  We then continued on to Alpine Haus Restaurant.  It was an old house converted to restaurant.  The walls, inside and out, were all brick.  The place was small but exquisite.  The menu was very German and our meal was delicious. We made sure to take left-overs home for dinner.

     After lunch, we drove around New Braunfels.  They are having a Wurstfest this week.  From what we could read online, it is an annual festival that is like an Octoberfest but bigger.  There is free parking Monday through Wednesday so we decided to go tomorrow or Tuesday.  

     We drove to the overlook on Canyon Lake.  They built two dams.  We looked at one and then walked across the point to look at the other one.  There is a huge earthen dam on one side and a spill way going down into a gorge on the other side.  We drove past the gorge and weren’t impressed at all.  We’ve seen much better in many places.  

     While we were out, we stopped at a Buc-EE’s.  Several people have told us that they love the place. It was like a gas station on steroids. Outside were about 120 gas points. There were two long rows with two gas pumps at each column and about 30 columns in each row.  Inside the store, it looked like a WalMart.  There were loads of snacks, many cashiers, about a dozen coffee dispensers, refrigerators with drinks and food, clothing, shoes, souvenirs, and tons of “stuff.”  It was a department store at the gas station. And the place was buzzing with people everywhere!

     When we got back to the campground, we took Bonnie for a long walk along the lakefront and through the other campgrounds.  It looks like they used to have trailers but pulled them out and built cabins.  There are a bunch of trailers stacked in the woods at one corner.  It was a nice and easy day.

 3 Nov 2018 (Sat) – We packed up and left Kingsville at 10:00 a.m. It was five and a half hours to our next campground – Joint Base San Antonio Sunnyside Park in Canyon Lake. It was a long drive on back roads through small towns and past many farms and ranches.  Randolph AFB and Fort Sam Houston Army Base were joined.  They both had campgrounds out on Canyon Lake. Now they are JBSA-Sunnyside Park (8 spaces belonging to the old Air Force Base) and JBSA-Hancock Cove Park (60+ campsites belonging to the Army).  It appears that the Army Corps of Engineers built two dams creating Canyon Lake. They then gave the land down the center to the military and the land on either side to the civilians.

     When we arrived at the gate, a lady checked us in.  The Sunnyside Park only has 9 campsites.  We got the last one as they are fully booked for the weekend. It is an old campground and the sites are narrow and close together.  There are loads of bushy trees in the area and deer are everywhere. Four were grazing next to us as we set up.  They have absolutely no fear of people.  That’s bad for the deer.

      After set up, we walked around the campground.  We are right next to the lake.  There is a marina with about two dozen boats docked at a pier but you can’t get to them.  The walkway out to the dock fell into the water.  You would have to swim to get out to your boat.

2 Nov 2018 (Fri) – We drove to the Big House BBQ for lunch.  It was not their usual order-by-the-pound place. We actually got to sit down at a table and order from a menu.  The tortilla soup was so good that I ordered a quart to take home for dinner.  Paul had roast chicken and I had ribs.  There was so much food that we took leftovers home to go with the soup.  Everything was delicious.

     After lunch, we drove to the King Museum Henrietta Memorial Center. It used to be an ice house and was donated by the King family.  It was a huge building!  We spent about an hour and a half wandering around the place, looking at the displays, watching videos, and reading storyboards.

     When we got back to the campground, I tried calling Fort Sam Houston and Lackland AFB to get a campsite but they were both booked.  There were three Joint Base campgrounds on a lake but they closed at 4 p.m.  I’ll have to call on the way there tomorrow.

 1 Nov 2018 (Thu) – We drove to IHOP for breakfast.  The place was terrible.  We were seated quickly and got our menus right away.  Then it took a while to give our orders and it was about 20 or 30 minutes before we got our food.  One waiter walked around with one hand in his pocket all the time.  I thought he was holding his phone to see is he got a message or call.  Paul thought he was holding up his pants.  lol.  Whichever it was, it was weird to see a waiter with his hand always in his pocket. While waiting, I looked around and realized that the place was filthy.  An overhead beam and fans had dust and dirt dripping over the edges, a light was out, windows were filthy, the baseboard near our table had all kinds of stains on it including ketchup (at least I HOPE it was ketchup).  When Paul unrolled his silverware from his neatly wrapped napkin, he found the spoon and fork to be filthy.   I ordered corned beef hash, eggs, and hash browns.  My meal arrived with a big serving of hash browns covered with corned beef hash and the eggs on top.  This came with a side order of hash browns.  Why?  Were they trying to empty the potato pantry?  The food was OK but I felt skeevy eating it.  What kind of dirt was in my food?  We waited for the bill and after a while, the manager ran over with the bill and included a military discount.  Paul thinks his frown was what brought the manager running.  Apparently, the entire restaurant staff is under threat.  They were nervous and asked if we enjoyed our meal. I thought our waitress was going to cry.

     After breakfast, we drove to the King Ranch.  The ranch is comprised of more than 825,000 acres. That’s bigger than the state of Rhode Island!  The King family started the ranch in 1853.  They grew to have businesses in many states and foreign countries at the peak of their ownership.  Today, their income is derived from four primary sources:  raising, training, and selling quarter horses; growing corn and sorghum crops; providing hunting areas for sportsmen; and oil operations.  They bred thoroughbred race horses until 1989, and had one Triple Crown winner (Assault) and one horse that won two of the three key races.  They gave that up and now just breed horses for ranch operations.  We took a one and a half hour bus tour of the ranch.  We saw the Santa Gertrudis cows, which are a breed that was developed by the King family.  They also have wildlife areas on their property.  One such property is a major stop along the migration flyway. The business is now run by seventh generation descendants of the Kings.

     We left the ranch and drove into town to look at the King Saddle Shop. It was a small shop that sells many leather items, cowboy outfits, and other items with the running W brand embossed on them.  I thought everything was expensive.  After wandering around the store, we drove around town for a little bit than stopped at the King Museum.  It was 3:00 pm and the museum closed at 4:00 pm.  So we decided to return tomorrow.  

     We got back to the campground and did the laundry.

31 Oct 2018 (Wed) – We packed up and hit the road at 10 a.m. The drive was only two hours.  The weather was good and the traffic wasn’t bad at all.  On the way, I called a couple of campgrounds only to be told they were all full.  As we were casting about for a place to go, we happened to pass a campground with a sign outside that read NOW OPEN.  Paul turned at the next road and we went around the block to get back to it.  There is a Valero gas station in front, a Mexican restaurant, a hotel, and a campground in back.  We parked and wandered around the place trying to find the check in point.  We finally wound up in the restaurant where the on-site manager had to call the owner to see what the rate was.  We went back out to set up while they made contact.  There are 58 sites; three were taken right up front. We backed into a site in the center of the campground but found out the electric was not on yet.  The place is so new that they haven’t even finished all the hookups.  We pulled out and parked in front near the other RVs.

     After set up, we went back into the restaurant and ordered lunch.  I had tacos and Paul had enchiladas.  The manager came over and said the rate was $30 a night.  We paid and left.  First stop was at the Naval Air Station to see if they really were full.  There was only one open space and it was too small for us so they were right.  Then we drove into town where I mailed off some cards at the post office.  Next, we wandered around the historic district and main roads.  The I-77 (like in so many other places) bypassed the main street and there were many closed stores.  I guess they’ll try to bring the district back in a few years.

 30 Oct 2018 (Tue) – Hank & Brenda picked us up at noon and we went to Smoke Texas BBQ for lunch.  It was a large warehouse converted to a restaurant.  You ordered at the counter: meat by the pound and small, medium, or large sides.  That style restaurant seems to be popular down here.  There was a counter serving the food along the back wall.  In the center of the room was a square bar with beer and liquor.  We had a great time visiting with each other.

     After they dropped us off at the lodge, we drove to H.E.B. and picked up a few items.  Then we dropped off letters at the post office and got fuel for tomorrow’s drive.  We had planned to head southwest to Laredo but that migrant caravan is headed toward the border.  President Trump is sending 5,000 troops to join the DHS and Border Patrol forces. We don’t want to get caught in that mix up so we’re heading back north to Kingsville.

29 Oct 2018 (Mon) – We drove to the Palo Alto Battlefield National Historic Park in Brownsville.  It was the site of the decisive battle of the Mexican-American War in 1846.  We walked along the battle trail, envisioning the bloody battle that took place there almost 200 years ago.  The result of that battle was that the U.S. doubled in size and Mexico lost half its territory.  We got 7 states out of that conflict.

     After the battlefield, we went to lunch.  We were following a suggestion by Siri when we passed McCarthy’s Irish Pub.  Being lovers of Irish food, we did a quick turn around and pulled into the restaurant. When we walked in the door, the first thing I noticed was that everyone in there was Mexican.  Few people were speaking English.  The menu didn’t have a single traditional Irish meal on it. There was a soup billed as Irish Soup but it was “delicious onion soup with garlic, served with bread croutons (is there any other kind?) and gouda smoked cheese.”  There was a large display case on one wall that had “Luck of the Irish” posted above it.  Nothing in the case had anything to do with Ireland or the Irish.  There was a Norman Rockwell picture (maybe he was Irish?), a doll dressed in Mardi Gras costume, a lamp with flowers in the base, an Antiques sign, etc.  It was so funny.

     We went back to the Marine Military Academy and toured their small museum. It was tiny but jam packed with all things Marine.  Many historical pictures covered the walls and artifacts were stuffed into display cases.

     At 6 p.m. Hank & Brenda picked us up and we went to La Playa for dinner.  It was a Mexican restaurant with a large menu.  Everything was very good.  We got margaritas and there were olives in the drinks.  When we returned to the RV, we all went into the Elks Lodge for drinks. It was a pleasant end to a pleasant evening.

 28 Oct 2018 (Sun) – We went to the Koffee Klatch for breakfast. It was a little house with the porch walled in.  Cute. And the food was OK.  We then drove over to the Marine Military Academy.  It is a private high school with a military focus. On the parade field across the street is a large statue of marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima.  This model was used as the basis for the monument in Washington, D.C.  We arrived at 12:30 p.m. but a sign on the door said they were open from 1 to 4 on Sunday. So we drove around the school grounds. Also, the airport is adjacent to the property so we took a quick swing through there (it is a very small facility). We walked around the monument and read some of the memorial plaques around the area.  At 1:05 p.m. the museum still was not open.  I went on the website to double check the opening time and it said they were closed on Sunday.  Somebody needs to fix the sign on the door!

     We stopped at H.E.B. for groceries and Pet Smart to pick up pet food. At 4 p.m. we drove to Hank & Brenda’s home for steak on the barbecue.  They have a lovely home in a 55+ community.  It was a delightful evening.

27 Oct 2018 (Sat) – Hank & Brenda picked us up at 11:00 a.m. and we drove to South Padre Island.  First stop was at the Padre Island Brewing Company for lunch.  I ordered fried flounder and got a plate piled high with two large filets, a crab cake, and three large shrimp – all accompanied by a Caesar salad and grilled vegetables.  It was enough for three people! I took most of it home.

     After lunch, we drove down the Beach Blvd to a parking area with access to the beach.  Three of us took our shoes off (Hank had compression socks and couldn’t take them off) and we walked up the beach wading in the warm Gulf of Mexico waters.  We watched dogs and people cavorting in the water, saw pelicans diving into the water for fish, and searched for shells. We topped the day off with ice cream at one of the local parlors.  A gift shop was attached to the ice cream parlor and I was able to pick up a Christmas ornament while Brenda found that perfect pair of flip flops.  It was a very enjoyable day.

26 Oct 2018 (Fri) – We packed up and left Corpus Christi at 10 a.m. Wouldn’t you know it?  The sun was out and shining brightly!  The drive was three and a half hours past many acres of ranches, farms and refineries.  It was mostly two lane highway that passed through occasional towns but there’s not a lot of population down this way.

                                           sunrise this morning 

    We pulled into the Elks Lodge in Harlingen about 1:30 p.m.  We are about 20 miles north of the Mexican border. There is a caravan of 7,000 to 10,000 South Americans headed toward the border right now.  President Trump has called out the military to join the Border Patrol and National Guard.  All this on the eve of Election Day.  I just hope no one gets killed in the fray.  It is tense!

     We went into the lodge to pay for five nights lodging.  It was $60 ($12 a night).  The “campsites” are composed of a row of hookups aligned along the edge of the parking lot in the back of the lodge.  We have 30 amp and water hookups.  There’s no worry about a sewer dump.  There are dozens of campgrounds down here along the border. This is where the Winter Texans come from December through April (they don’t call them Snowbirds, like we do on the east coast).

            There’s only us and one other RV.  The rest are in storage.

     At 6:30 p.m. we went into the lodge for their fish fry.  The Bush Riders (a local band) was playing cowboy music. Our friends, Hank & Brenda, joined us.  They live in Harlingen and offered the names of places to see and eat at.  They will go to South Padre Island with us tomorrow. We met Hank & Brenda on the Maritimes Caravan and reunited during the National Muster in Mineola this year.

     As I sat there and watched the couples dancing, I was struck by how people’s bodies change but their spirits remain the same.  Almost all the folks on the dance floor were in their 60s and 70s (maybe even 80s).  Everyone held their dance partner and moved around the floor – some quite lively and some just scuffing along due to stiff joints and other elderly ailments.  There was one really rocking mama who looked like the typical grandma – short, gray curly hair; glasses; pointy chin and wrinkled face.  Yet she wore white jeans and boots and was gleefully dancing away with her more reserved partner.  She was 16 years old inside!  When a group of folks got up and did some line dancing, a rather grumpy looking old man with a paunch joined them.  He was very adept at the steps and was singing along with the band.  I would have imagined him just sitting in a corner grouching about the world at large if I hadn’t seen that.  It was another reminder not to judge people by the way they look.  Especially older folks!

25 Oct 2018 (Thu) – The day was warmer – in the high 60s.  It was also drier but still overcast.  The forecast predicted sunshine this afternoon but it never happened.  At 2:30 p.m. we drove over to Mustang Island and had lunch at Fin’s Grill & Icehouse. We sat out on the deck and watched barges moving up and down the canal.  Afterward we drove around the area.  The ferries at Port Aransas were incredibly busy.  Cars were coming in non-stop from both sides.  They had six ferries working at the same time.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at WalMart to pick up a few items then fueled up in preparation for tomorrow’s move to Harlingen.

24 Oct 2018 (Wed) – We toured the U.S.S. Lexington today.  It was an aircraft carrier built during WWII and decommissioned in 1976.  They had several TVs around the ship at strategic places with someone telling a story about that part of the ship.  There was also a 25-minute 3D movie that showed a joint naval training venture of the U.S. with other countries in the Pacific.  I was blown away by all the technology and mission operations depicted on the screen.  We spent four hours exploring the ship.

    Before we went to the U.S.S. Lexington, we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel.  It was like coming home.  I love eating at that place!  The day was foggy and overcast and it started to rain softly in the late afternoon. There is a hurricane that hit Mexico on the Pacific Coast and will be crossing South America and coming up into Texas.  The forecast is for rain the next two days.

    Before we went to the U.S.S. Lexington, we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel.  It was like coming home.  I love eating at that place!  The day was foggy and overcast and it started to rain softly in the late afternoon. There is a hurricane that hit Mexico on the Pacific Coast and will be crossing South America and coming up into Texas.  The forecast is for rain the next two days.

23 Oct 2018 (Tue) – The day was overcast, windy, damp, and cold. We hunkered down inside our nice and cozy trailer until 2 p.m.  We drove over to the post office on base and mailed off Halloween packages to the boys and a birthday package to Caiden.  We then went next door to the Navy Exchange (NEX) and bought another external storage device.  Now when we save our pictures, we will save to two external storage devices.  The laptop will also be backed up by Carbonite, an online storage system in the cloud.  If all that back up doesn’t work, we’re in big trouble.

     When we were finished at the NEX, we drove into town to Rudy’s Country Store and Bar-B-Q.  It was a gas station with a restaurant.  The restaurant was like a big barn with long picnic tables covered with white and red checked tablecloths.  Everything was ala carte.  You ordered the meat and whatever sides you wanted and a drink to go with it.  The food was pretty good.  You then took your food from the counter and sat down at a table in the dining room.  Signs all over the place said “Your Momma Does Not Work Here – Clean Up Your Own Mess.”

     We had been hoping the weather would get better.  When we first got here, the forecast was for the weather to clear up on Tuesday and Wednesday.  We left our visit to the USS Lexington for the nice weather.  Unfortunately, things have not cleared up.  In addition, there is now a hurricane hitting the coast of Mexico that will move up and right into our area in the next day or two.  The weather is only going to get worse. Guess we’ll have to tour the USS Lexington despite the bad weather.

22 Oct 2018 (Mon) – We went to the Texas State Aquarium this morning.  There was a dolphin show and we got splashed several times.  We spent the rest of the time drying out.  It was chilly!

      After the aquarium, we drove over Padre Island to Mustang Island. The water and sky were gray and the waves were very rough.  There is evidence that they got hit with a big storm – I think it was Hurricane Harvey in September of last year.  There were a couple of resorts that were closed and undergoing some repairs.  Some houses had blue tarps on the roof.  Some buildings were destroyed and simply closed.  We stopped at a restaurant right on the beach – Mikel Mays – and had an early dinner.  A long pier ran about a half mile out into the water but there was a charge to walk on it.  That ticked me off.  I refuse to pay to just walk out on a pier so we didn’t go.  Everywhere we look it is obvious that Texas has gotten more rain than it needs.  Besides getting occasional warnings about flooding on my cell phone, many places have water overflowing their area.  

      We stopped at H.E.B. Plus on the way home to pick up some groceries. That place is huge!  It is a combination giant supermarket with a giant department store.  We found every single thing we wanted.

21 Oct 2018 (Sun) – We didn’t do much today.  At 11:30 a.m. we ran to the commissary and picked up some groceries.  We also shopped at the Navy Exchange (NEX).  I got a fitbit and Paul picked up a grill.  The day was overcast and drizzly all day.  The weather is a real disappointment.  We are in some of the most beautiful coastal areas in the U.S. and the crappy weather is degrading the experience.

 20 Oct 2018 (Sat) – We went to the Art Museum of Texas at 12:30 p.m. after doing laundry this morning.  I can never figure out why art museums have so much wasted space.  The art is displayed on walls in big halls. Most of it was head scratching kind of stuff.  A few pictures were nice but most of the artwork made no sense to us.  Guess we’re just not artsy types.

     We had lunch in the café of the art museum.  They were hosting a wedding there today so a couple of the floors were closed to the general public.  When I complained about having half the museum cut off, the clerk let us in at no cost.

    After the museum, we drove across the channel to Padre Island.  It was ten miles over undeveloped land to the visitor’s center.  We got there at 4:45 p.m. and they were closing at 5 p.m.  We did a quick walk around the gift shop, picked up an ornament and patch, then walked out on the deck and admired the water. We then drove through two campgrounds on the island.  They were pretty rustic.

19 Oct 2018 (Fri) – We packed up and left Galveston at 9:05 a.m. It was 220 miles to our next destination.  The route was mostly two lane highway past miles of open grassland, grazing cattle, crops, farrow land, and occasional small towns.  There was high water everywhere and some roads were threatened by flooding.  There were many oil refineries.  They are such a maze of pipes and columns that they look very sci-fi.  I bet when they film movies like Mad Max, they use old oil refineries as their setting.  The weather went through sunshine, clouds, and bouts of rain during the six hour drive to Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.

     We checked in at the RV Office and the gal told us we could choose from five open sites.  When we got to the campground, we saw that one was undergoing some kind of construction project, two were under water, and one had a very narrow driveway.  The one that was left had a low hanging tree.  We pulled in at an angle to avoid the tree and are on the grass and not the hard pack.  Since the ground is soggy from lots of rain, Paul put boards under the levelers.  There is more rain in the forecast and I hope that won’t cause us any problems.  Our campsite looks out at a bay.  It looks like there used to be a runway that was used by water planes that landed and drove up concrete ramps onto the former runway. There is a laundry room with free washers and dryers.  The wifi is excellent!  We will be here for a week.

 18 Oct 2018 (Thu) – We drove to the Bryan Museum this morning. It was a former orphanage-turned-museum. The building was gorgeous.  It had originally been built as a non-denominational orphanage (there were two Catholic homes in Galveston).  The museum showcased the history of Galveston and the American West.  It was a beautiful house.

     After the museum, we drove to The Moody Mansion.  The Moody family was among the wealthy citizens of Galveston. They owned many businesses around town – banks, hotels, etc.  The 32-room mansion was built in the late 1800s.  The last of the family left the home in 1984 when the home was donated to the historical society.  The house was gorgeous.  There was silk wallpaper and exotic woods everywhere.

     The next stop was at the Bishop’s Palace.  The 19,000 sf house was made of stone and was able to withstand the hurricane of 1900 that wiped out most of Galveston. It was sold to the Roman Catholic Diocese in 1923 before it opened to the public in 1963.  It cost $250,000 to build the house and today’s value is over $5.5 million.  You pay the admission fee and get a hand held player with numbers on the screen that match numbers posted in the various rooms.  You press the appropriate number and a narrator tells you someone about the history of the family and diocese.  It was OK but we really wanted to hear about the house and its architecture, not the comings and goings of the original owners.  The Moody Mansion used the same system to tour that house as well.

     It was now mid-afternoon so we stopped at Willie G’s at Pier 21 for drinks and appetizers.  We sat out on the patio.  Although the sky has been overcast and threatening for the two days we’ve been in Galveston, the wind was balmy and our seat on the patio was pleasant.  Paul ordered Story Point Cab-Sauv.  The waiter brought Story Point Chardonnay instead. It turned out they were out of the Cab-Sauv and the bartender just chose the other wine.  The waiter replaced the wine but in the meantime, I sampled the wine and found I liked it.  I now have another favorite wine.

      Before we returned to the truck, we walked The Strand.  That is their historical main street with many warehouses converted to restaurants and shops.  In the late 1800s, The Strand was known as the Wall Street of the Southwest and Galveston was the second most active port for immigrant arrivals after Ellis Island.  In 1871 alone, over 41,760 passengers arrived by sea.  We wandered into a shop and wound up buying two jackets with world maps printed on them.  I also found a Christmas ornament for Galveston.

17 Oct 2018 (Wed) – We packed up and left Livingston at 10 a.m. The sky was overcast and there was some fog initially.  There was also some rain on the way.  We arrived at Galveston Island State Park at 1:00 p.m.  The park has two campgrounds – one on the ocean side and one on the bay side. We were told when I made the reservation that there were no sites available on the ocean side. Furthermore, there was space on the bay side but only Wednesday and Thursday night.  The campground will be completely booked for the weekend.

     After we crossed the causeway, we saw no signs for a campground office so we headed toward the bay side.  There were two circles, each with 20 campsites in them.  Neither had a single camper in it.  There was no office either.  So we drove back to the other side of the island to the park headquarters office.  We were able to complete our registration there.  The clerk – a very lovely and friendly young woman – chose the perfect spot to view the bay.  With our site assignment in hand, we drove back to the bay side campground and found our place. The site faces the bay on an angle. Unfortunately, the campsite was on an angle.  The side facing the water only has one small window.  We chose another spot and parked there.  

     Once everything was set up, we drove back to the office to let the clerk know that we changed our assigned campsite.  She was not happy.  She lectured me for five minutes on how I should have called first before changing sites, that someone else might have been assigned to that site, that there are more people coming in today and we shouldn’t have been fooled by the emptiness of the campground, etc., etc., etc.  When she was done giving me her tongue lashing, I was given new paperwork for the site we now occupy.

     We then drove into town to have lunch at Landry’s Seafood Restaurant. It sat right on the coastal highway and had a great view of the Gulf.  Although the place was expensive, the food was good and we enjoyed the meal. Afterward, we drove to PetSmart to pick up food for Bonnie.  They had her can and dry food but no venison treats.  We’ll have to look somewhere else.

     We then drove around the area.  There is some flooding and I keep getting notices from the weather bureau warning of such.  Most of the houses in the area are on stilts.  Galveston Island is very much a beachy town like so many others we have seen. Lots of hotels, souvenir shops, palm trees, long beach front, and houses on stilts.

16 Oct 2018 (Tue) – It was in the 50s and drizzly this morning. The sky was overcast and the air has a chill in it.  There is a smell of sewer around the campground.  It’s probably caused by all the rain and the waste lines being overtaxed. My phone keeps getting notices from the weather station about flooding in the county.

     We took a tour of Escapees Headquarters this morning.  After five years of having our mail handled by this organization, we finally got to see the operation and how they do it.  It was so fascinating!  They have a machine they dubbed “Howee” that sorts 300 pieces of mail in just 3 minutes.  They have three large rooms filled with buckets of mail.  There are about 900 people who have their mail scanned and at least 14,000 who have their mail forwarded.  They get huge containers of mail every day from the local post office. They have so much mail that they qualified for their own zip code.  

     I am glad we stopped in Livingston to visit the Escapees Headquarters. This is an incredible operation. There is nothing like it anywhere else in the U.S.  We will probably come back to volunteer just to help them out.

     After the tour, we drove into town to pick up a few groceries. Then we went to Patron Grill for lunch. They had regular and grande size margaritas.  Paul went big; I went regular.  The food was good.  I had so much, I took leftovers home for breakfast tomorrow.  

 15 Oct 2018 (Mon) – It was a pretty light day.  There is a cold front moving in.  The temperature dropped from 71 in the morning when we got up to 57 tonight when we went to bed.  There was rain on and off this evening and even a brief thunderstorm that sent Sheba bolting for the closet.

     We took a tour of the Escapees Care Center this morning.  The Club provides a place for RVers to stay when they can no longer RV or just need a place to sit while they recover from illness or accident.  Volunteers who work at the center can get a free space with full hook up and three meals a day.  They provide a bus (driven by volunteers) that takes people to doctor appointments or shopping. They even provide an adult day care so caregivers can get a day off.  It was quite impressive.

14 Oct 2018 (Sun–Birthday) – Paul took me down to the Courthouse Whistle Stop Café for breakfast.  It was a really old building with lots of historical pictures on the walls. Connected to it was a gift shop with loads of knicks knacks.  

     We went back to the campground to get Bonnie then headed for the Lake Livingston Dam Observatory.  When we got there, the road to the observatory was closed by an electric company doing some construction.  Paul thought they were building a power plant.  We drove along the lakefront looking for a way around the construction but couldn’t find anything.  We discovered a campground and drove through that.  It ended at some cabins on the water.  We parked and walked along a pathway.  Lake Livingston is the largest reservoir in Texas.  It was a lovely day.

13 Oct 2018 (Sat) – We packed up and left Bullard at 9:35 a.m. The drive was easy as the weather was good and the route was direct.  We arrived at Livingston at 12:30 p.m.  We pulled into the Escapees HQ campground called Rainbow’s End.  It is a large campground with both transient and long term RVers.  Our campsite is a back-in on worn gravel.  The interior roads are asphalt.  There are trees around the area.  It looks like it’s been around for a while.  We have full hook-ups and access to Wifi (but very slow).  They also have a laundry room and a pool.  We ‘ll be here for four nights.

12 Oct 2018 (Fri) – The cat threw up on the bedspread during the night.  We pulled the bedspread, blanket, and sheets off the bed and threw them in the wash.  We got the bedspread with our very first fifth wheel camper in 2006.  It was time to replace it.

     We drove to several stores looking for a new bedspread.  I wanted something to cover the bed but not be too warm at night; more of a decorative cover.  We looked in Kirkland’s, Burlington, Bed Bath & Beyond, and WalMart.  A stop in World Market found us delighting over a deeply discounted favorite wine on sale.  We didn’t get a bedspread there but we did walk out with eight bottles of wine. WalMart finally yielded something close to what I wanted.  

      We grabbed lunch at Whataburger.  There was a sign outside saying it was the Hot Rod Café.  There were 1950s themed model cars and decorations all around the eatery. It was cute.

     Last stop was at Brookshire’s.  We picked up groceries then got fuel at their gas station.  We had accumulated over 500 points which resulted in our getting 50 cents off a gallon.  That saved us about $15!  Now we get ready to move on.

 11 Oct 2018 (Thu) – I had an 11 a.m. appointment at the dentist today to have my teeth cleaned.  After that, we stopped at Cork Food & Drink for lunch.  It had a very eclectic menu but the food was good.  The service, unfortunately, was sooooo slow.  There was a smoker outside emitting all kinds of mouthwatering smells but there were no smoked meats on the lunch menu.  That was disappointing.

     We stopped at another modular homes center to look at some homes.  The saleswoman kept telling us about models then saying she didn’t have any on the lot to show us.  We looked at two or three models, then Paul told her the workmanship was shoddy and he wouldn’t buy the product.  We walked back to the office in silence and said a terse good bye.  He was annoyed by her pointing out all the things we wanted on paper and telling us to go online but then showing us homes that were bigger than we wanted.

10 Oct 2018 (Wed) – We worked around the camper today.  Paul focused on stuff around the rig.  I worked on writing the documentation required to get the Women Veterans chapter of SMART established.  We both got so involved in our projects that I missed my dental cleaning this morning. My appointment was at 12:15 p.m. The office called at 12:25 p.m. to see where I was.  I apologized profusely then we jumped in the truck to get there in time for Paul’s appointment at 1 p.m.  He got his teeth cleaned and a fluoride polish applied.  The tech told him not to eat anything crunchy or hard for four hours. That killed lunch!  My appointment was rescheduled for tomorrow at 11 a.m.

     After the dentist, we stopped at a couple of modular home centers – Solitaire, Pratt Homes, and Clayton Homes.  We looked at several models and are slowly forming an opinion of what we would like in a house when we decide to come off the road.  It looks like we’re interested in a house between 1,300 and 1,600 square feet.

     When we were done exploring model homes, we stopped at Clear Springs restaurant for dinner.  It had a statue of a swordfish out front.  Tyler is just about as far away as you can get from the coast in Texas. I had salmon and Paul had a combo of fried chicken and shrimp.  The food was good and plentiful.  We both took left-overs home.

9 Oct 2018 (Tue) – We dropped Bonnie off at the vet this morning at 7:30 a.m. (*yawn*).  We then went to WalMart to get an oil change on the truck.  While we waited, we had a bite to eat at Subway then strolled around the store, picking up a few things here and there.  When the truck was done, we drove to the bank and got the paperwork notarized that we’ve been trying to complete.  It only took six trips to the place to get it done!  Next stop was at PetCo where we tried to find exotic food for Bonnie.  We wound up buying a sweet potato and venison menu for her.  We got both can and dry food as well as treats (the vet said everything had to be the same).  We also picked up a glucosamine for her stiff joints and some omega-6 vitamins for Sheba’s dry skin.

     About then, the vet called to say that Bonnie’s teeth cleaning was done and we could pick her up.  It turned out that she has a skin infection around her rear end and that was probably causing all her scooting.  We got an antibiotic for the infection, a steroid to reduce the swelling, and a cream to put on her yoo-hoo.  Animals can be such fun.

     At 3 p.m. Paul and I had appointments at a local dentist for exam, x-rays, and to schedule teeth cleaning.  The receptionist had us sit in front of computers and fill out medical histories (I guess it was faster than having her do it).  She then walked us around the place introducing us to all the staff.  All the women were Miss So & So and the men were Dr. So & So.  I am now curious about this “Miss” thing.  Is this a cultural thing?  Am I supposed to call them Miss So & So?  She introduced us as Paul and Melody.  Not Mr. or Mrs.  I’ll have to ask somebody about this.  They had the most modern technological tools.  The tech took x-rays with a portable machine and never left the room.  Then she took digital pictures of the inside our mouths.  She capped it off with a picture of us to put in the file so the staff would know what we look like.  The dentist came in, poked around, and said everything was fine.  We made appointments to come back for the teeth cleaning.

     After the dentist, we went to the Texas Roadhouse right next door for dinner.  They sure make good steaks there.  Clouds had moved in and it was raining pretty hard when we came out.  Later, sunset was gorgeous with the horizon turning orange then red as it shone out from under the dark storm clouds.  

8 Oct 2018 (Mon) – We took the animals to the vet this morning. Sheba’s exam went fine and we picked up some heartworm medicine for her.  Bonnie’s exam found lots of plaque on her teeth so we scheduled her to have a teeth cleaning tomorrow.  Also, she has put on ten pounds in the last five months.  That’s quite a bit and we are eager to see what the bloodwork shows. The vet suggested we feed her exotic meats like bison or venison.  We’ll try that.

     We returned to the campground and packed up.  We were supposed to move to another site tomorrow but we decided to do it today. Once we were set up again, I worked on completing the current roster for the Nomads and sent it to the membership by email.

7 Oct 2018 (Sun) – Paul and I worked on sorting out all the paperwork for next year’s caravan.  We created two binders with various materials.  Then I spent a couple of hours creating a suspense roster for all the things we have to follow up on.  At 3 p.m. we ran out to Brookshire’s and picked up groceries.  It was a pretty quiet day.

6 Oct 2018 (Sat) – We drove to the bank today to try making the deposit to the Nomads account (again).  I could not remember the PIN number so I couldn’t make the deposit (again). We then drove to Camp Ford.  It was the largest Confederate POW camp of the Civil War west of the Mississippi.  It was only open from August 1863 until May 1865.  A storyboard described a large cabin but there were only logs laying on the ground.  Either they intended to build it or someone took it apart and lined up all the logs. The camp grew to 11 acres before being closed as the prisoner population swelled to 5,000.  It is now a public park and has been allowed to fall into neglect. The asphalt walkway was broken and full of debris.  There were three small cabins on display but they were falling apart.  It is a shame.  Thousands of men suffered terrible deprivations and hundreds died. The only reason the death toll was higher was because the first prisoners built catch basins and their drinking water never got contaminated.

     After the park, we stopped to look at some modular homes.  They were interesting.  Next stop was at a shopping mall where we had lunch at the Mandarin Express.  Then I picked up some items at Dillards.  We drove through the town of Bullard just to look around.  The town is small but cute.

     Before returning to the campground, we stopped at the M6 Winery. The owner’s name was Moody and there were six brothers in the family.  We tasted several wines.  I bought three bottles; Paul bought one.  We came back and took a nap.

5 Oct 2018 (Fri) – I spent the morning trying to find various services in the area.  I made an appointment to bring the dog and cat to the vet on Monday, and to bring Paul and me to the dentist on Tuesday.  I also spent an hour working on documenting the monies brought in during the Nomads musters and trying to find a Navy FCU to make a deposit.  There is no credit union in this area.  I contacted an agent online and was told I could deposit the money at a Texas Community Bank.  When we got to the bank, I was told to put the money in the ATM.  They don’t touch it.  (But don’t they take the money out of the box at the end of the day?)  I was very confused.  At any rate, I went around to the ATM only to find I needed an ATM card to make the deposit.  I did not have it on me.  I’ll have to come back tomorrow.  Ugh.

     We went to F.D.’s Grillhouse for lunch.  It is rated #3 of 302 restaurants in Tyler by Trip Advisor.  We both got firecracker shrimp for an appetizer then a modified Philly Cheesesteak – cubes of steak with onions, green peppers, and mushrooms covered with mozzarella cheese on Texas toast.  The side was roasted corn trimmed from the corn cob today.  Everything was excellent.

     We then stopped at Best Buy so Paul could buy an adapter for the video projector.  We were going to loan our projector at the National muster but it turned out we didn’t have the right cables to connect the laptop to the projector.  We stopped at Brookshire’s to pick up a couple of items then drove to Keipersol Winery.  They have wine tastings and right next door is a distillery with rum and bourbon tastings. We went to both places and bought some wine.

     The campground is starting to fill up for the weekend.  All our friends left today and it feels a little lonely.  I went over to the office today to extend our stay.  They would only let us go to next Saturday.  There is a rally coming in on Tuesday so we will have to move to another spot for three days.

 4 Oct 2018 (Thu) – Eight of us took a ride on the Texas State Railroad from Rusk to Palestine.  It was an old diesel engine and historical cars.  Paul’s comment was that we’ve seen better scenery on the commuter train from Long Island into New York City.  There was really nothing to see from the train during the hour and a half ride.  When we got to Palestine, there was a grill serving food at exorbitant prices - $8.50 for a hotdog and $11.00 for a hamburger.  We were a captive audience as there was nowhere else to eat.

     We had happy hour at 4 p.m. then drove to Jalapeno Tree for dinner.  It was the last night of the Nomads post muster before everyone heads to the four winds.  It was a good time.

3 Oct 2018 (Wed) – Carl & Gwen came over early and we worked on the plans for the caravan next year.  At 10 a.m., we took a break and carpooled with the group over to Love’s Lookout.  You were supposed to be able to see 35 miles but, frankly, the view wasn’t that grand. I guess we’re spoiled.  We’ve seen some breathtaking views.

     We left the overlook and drove to the Catfish King.  It was a restaurant that specialized in (you guessed it) catfish.  Paul and I have studiously avoided catfish for the past 40 years.  We gave in and each had the lunch special that included 3 pieces of fried catfish, pinto beans, cole slaw, and hush puppies that looked like fried mozzarella sticks.  The food was actually quite good.  We were glad we tried it.

     After lunch, we drove down the road to the Texas Basket Company.  It was a real country store with all sizes of baskets for sale along with lots of other bric-a-brac and other items.  We then left and rode (with Carl & Gwen driving) to Brookshire’s where we picked up some groceries.  Once our groceries were put away, we resumed working on the plans for the Utah caravan.  Carl & Gwen will follow up and contact all the campgrounds to verify information and let them know of the change in Wagon Masters and Assistant Wagon Masters (Tail Gunners).  We will handle the restaurant and entertainment venues.

     At 4 p.m. we went to happy hour.  After an hour, we all dragged out the leftovers from our dinner yesterday, reheated them, and had a second potluck dinner.  Everything seemed to taste better.  Guess the food had a chance to sit and strengthen the flavors.  Later, Paul and I went for a walk with Bonnie around the campground. There is a small lake advertised on their website as a fishing spot for anglers.  There was a sign on the fence saying an alligator had been spotted in the water and no one was to kayak or row boat out into the water.  We didn’t know gaters came this far north.

     Mike hunted us down and said there were several people going on a train trip tomorrow.  He invited us to join him.  We said we’d go.

2 Oct 2018 (Tue) – We did laundry this morning.  Then I cooked some cornbread for the potluck dinner later. Paul went into town with some of the other guys to a liquor store to buy some “supplies.”  Since this is a dry county, they had to drive to the next county to make their purchases.  At 1 p.m. Carl & Gwen came over and we worked on the plans for the Utah caravan next year.  We got through the first four legs then took a break.  Happy hour was at 4 p.m. then dinner at 5:30 p.m.  After dinner, we had a quick Nomads meeting.  Our errant RVer who had the starter problem returned to the campground today.  They spent the night in a hotel.  The RV repair center found that the problem in his motor coach was a bad relay.  It was a simple fix and they’re back on the road again.

 1 Oct 2018 (Mon) – We ran down to the post office to see if our external storage device had arrived yet.  The clerk told me the package was returned to the sender (she didn’t know why). I called UPS to see if we could intercept it and they said the package was refused by the post office. Aaaaargh!!!  

     We made a quick stop at Brookshire’s to pick up some items for the pot luck dinner tomorrow and returned to the campground.  Most of the RVs had already left.  We hooked up and were on the road at 11 a.m.  The drive was a little over an hour from Mineola to Bullard. We are staying at Bushman’s Camp & RV Park.  One of the other members of our group who is camping here (this is the Nomads post-muster) was stuck in the driveway.  Apparently he burned out his starter and had to call for a tow truck.  

     We checked in and drove to our pull through site.  This is a very nice campground.  The interior roadways and campsites are poured concrete.  We have full hookup and there is low band Wifi available.  They have a laundry room and a meeting room for our group.  There is an indoor pool and hot tub as well.  There are dog pens with a sign saying dogs can be left there for up to one hour.

     At 4 p.m. we went to happy hour.  There are twelve rigs, 21 folks here.  At 5:15 p.m. 16 of us drove to Jalapeno Tree (a Mexican restaurant franchise) for dinner. Bullard is also a dry county but that restaurant serves margaritas.  They were very good.

30 Sep 2018 (Sun) – SMART breakfast this morning was a sausage casserole.  There wasn’t much sausage in it.  After breakfast, there was a general membership meeting where the leadership talked about what the Board of Directors has been up to.  Awards were given for recruiting and as outstanding chapters.  Following the membership meeting, a member of SMART got up and recounted stories of his trip around the U.S.  He has a motor home that is painted in Americana style with eagles, freedom quotes, and the five military service symbols.  Everywhere he goes, people come over to look at his coach and share stories of their military service.  He’s met some pretty interesting folks in his travels.

     After a break for lunch, we went to a seminar for wagon masters.  It was interesting.  We knew most everything that was covered.  We learned by either being on a caravan or discussing issues or planning our own caravan for next year.

     At 4 p.m., I called for a meeting of women veterans.  We want to start a new chapter and I agreed to prepare all the paperwork and file for the charter.  While looking over the paperwork, I found we needed a minimum of five members and we only had the four who said they would be officers (President, VP, Secretary-Treasurer, and Muster Master – I volunteered for Muster Master). I asked for a committee to develop bylaws and standing rules.  I volunteered to head the committee.  We have to find a name for our group (the Women Veterans Chapter just sounds too plain) and agreed to think on it.  At next year’s national muster in Urbana, VA, we will have a formal installation of officers.

     Social hour was 4 to 5 p.m. followed by a SMART dinner of pork loin, rice, green beans, dinner roll, and chocolate cake.  There were more door prizes and 50/50 drawings.  The civic center where we are holding our national muster also awarded door prizes.  Finally, it was over and everyone bid each other fair winds and safe travels.

 29 Sep 2018 (Sat) – There was a SMART breakfast this morning. Eggs (powered), sausage patty, and pancakes.  After breakfast, Paul and I attended some more seminars.  At 4:00 p.m. we met with other people from the Nomads and ran through the talent show skit we are doing tonight.

     After the “rehearsal” we went back to the RV and reheated leftovers for dinner.  We returned to the

Auditorium at 7 p.m. for last minute checks on our props and participants then settled down to watch the show.  There were some interesting things.  One man played the ukulele and harmonica as his wife strolled across the stage. Three women draped in very glittery capes performed a lip sync of a Supremes song.  There were also lots of door prizes and as always, the 50/50 drawing. Our skit was the last one to perform. We did a spoof of Jeff Foxworthy’s “Ten Indications You Might Be A . . . .”  We were “SMART Long Time RVers.”  It was pretty funny thanks to one particular member of our group who was very hammy. Everyone had a good time watching as well as performing the skit.  We ended by commenting on how we see more things in one year than most people see in a lifetime.  That was followed by everyone singing America the Beautiful.

 28 Sep 2018 (Fri) – We attended some seminars today.  I met with Michelle and Ed about the talent show we are putting together for tomorrow.  No one else showed up despite my email asking them to do so.  Woooh, boy.  I sure hope this thing comes off ok.  There were the men’s and women’s luncheons.  The guys had hot dogs and hamburgers at the pavilion; the women had chicken Caesar salad with a cookie for dessert.  We were supposed to have a guest speaker but he cancelled out at the last minute.

     The SMART dinner tonight was Tex-Mex.  It was a chicken and cheese enchilada with soupy beans, chips and salsa. There was apple pie for dessert. There were about a dozen door prizes awarded and three winners from the 50/50 drawing.

     After dinner, we all went outside and spelled out the word “SMART.” Paul and another guy sent their drones up in the air and took a picture from the air.  It came out looking really cool!  After the picture taking, SMART folks conducted a flag retirement ceremony. This is where they take flags that are no longer usable and ceremoniously burn them in a formal ceremony.  It was very moving.

27 Sep 2018 (Thu) – There was a panel discussion today about RV Tips at 8:30 a.m.  I was on the panel with three other people.  About 20 people attended the seminar.  We shared our experiences with the audience and they shared their experiences with one another.  Even I picked up a few tips!

     When I came out of the center, Paul was walking up.  It turned out that the projector is not compatible with our laptop.  As we thought about it, we bought the laptop about six years ago and have not used the projector with it.  The cables don’t work between the two.  Paul will not be able to do a slide show on the screen.  How frustrating to spend hours preparing the show and not be able to project it!  We’ll bring the laptop and just let people look at that on the computer screen.  It won’t be as big as a projector screen but it’s all we’ve got.

     We drove to Canton to a flea market billed as the biggest one in the U.S. (does Shipshewana know that?)  We stopped for lunch before going into the market at a place called Dairy Palace. It was an old, kind of run down place but the parking lot was full.  That usually means a place has good food so we stopped in.  It was a farm-to-table place serving beef that has been free ranged and not given any drugs or antibiotics.  I got a patty melt; Paul got a spam burger.  We have never eaten chicken fried spam.  It was different.

     The flea market was huge!  It was laid out helter skelter.  As we wandered in and out of large buildings and hundreds of booths, we gradually moved deeper and deeper into the bowels of the place.  Paul finally got his hands on a map but it was difficult to read.  We were lost among the booths and with some trial and error, found our way out after two and a half hours wandering around the market.  My tootsies were singing by then!  We picked up a few things for the grandkids.

     There was a SMART dinner tonight.  They had hamburger steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy, and a dinner roll.  The food was good.  After dinner, they did a 50/50 drawing and awarded many door prizes.  Following that, a DJ and entertainer played 50’s and 60’s music for the group.  It was heart warming to see so many older people dancing.  You could almost imagine them as they were when they courted each other back in the 40’s and 50’s.  Young teenagers in love starting out on their life paths.  Now here they were 40, 50, 60 years later still holding hands and dancing in each other’s arms.

 26 Sep 2018 (Wed) – There was a SMART breakfast this morning. There were scrambled eggs, sausage, potatoes, gravy, and a biscuit.  After breakfast, Paul and I attended a meeting of the Travel Committee.  The Assistant Travel Coordinator wanted to meet with the wagon masters and assistant wagon masters for the upcoming caravans.  He had suggestions on planning and directing a caravan.  There were questions and answers for an hour.

     Following the meeting, we returned to the camper.  Paul worked on putting together a slide show for the caravan seminar on Friday. I worked on completing some paperwork for the bank and our mail forwarding service.  Mail has been arriving at our mail box addressed to the SMART Nomads.  Some kind of postal regulation is violated in some way and I have to get a form notarized swearing that the mail is not for a business.

     There was a chapter fair at 4 p.m.  This was an opportunity for each chapter to describe their activities to potential members.  We did not have anyone approach us.  I have already signed up 24 new members over the past few days.  That’s quite a lot!  The Nomads had a meeting at 5 p.m. tonight.  Mike chaired the meeting; I took minutes.  We didn’t have any food tonight so there were less than half of the folks we had three days ago and the meeting was done in half an hour.

     When the meeting was over, several of us planned to go out for margaritas. Since this is a dry county, none of the restaurants in this area serve alcohol.  We finally found a restaurant in Lindale, about 15 miles away.  We drove to Posados, a Mexican restaurant. The food was good, the margaritas were excellent, and the waiter was a hoot!  Nine of us had a great time.

 25 Sep 2018 (Tue) – We went on a tour of Tyler today.  The bus left the campground at 8:30 a.m.  The drive was about 40 minutes.  First stop was at the Tyler Rose Museum & Gardens. One-third of all the roses sold in the U.S. come from Tyler.  Quite a celebration takes place every October where they elect a Queen of Roses and have a big parade.  There is also a football game takes place during the celebrations.  It’s quite an event and reminded us of the Mardi Gras celebrations.  We walked around the gardens but there were few roses in bloom.  The season is well over.

     We then drove to the Brook Hall School.  There was an American Freedom Museum.  The tour was delightful.  They had two rooms.  One recounted all the conflicts America has taken part in, from the War for Independence through to today’s Afghanistan/Iraq conflict.  They had many original artifacts that were very interesting to look at.  The second room was the Hall of Presidents.  Starting with our first president, George Washington, there was a biography of each one along with parts of speeches they made and statements they made about their faith.

     The last stop on our tour was at the Goodman-LeGrand Home.  It was built in 1853.  Three generations of a family lived in it until 1963 when the last descendent passed away.  She left the home and all the furnishings to the city with the stipulation that the house be maintained in its current state and kept open to the general public. That makes it pretty unique as far as old homes go because all the original furnishings have remained with the house from the very first day the state took possession.  The house was originally built as a one-story, four-room home with a center breezeway.  The family that purchased it completely changed it – added two stores, sweeping staircases, wrap around porch, etc.  

    We returned to the campground at 4:30 p.m. then quickly changed and fed the animals, and went to the Opening Ceremonies of the National Muster. The meeting opened with a posting of the colors, prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, and singing of God Bless America. I can’t tell you how moving such events are.  With all the controversy going on around the Pledge and other American traditions, everyone spoke louder and sang stronger than I have ever heard before.  Over 300 voices raised in unison in patriotic song gave me goose bumps.

     The mayor of Mineola spoke as did the director the civic center where we are having our rally.  The guest speaker was Sheriff J. B. Smith.  He was a sheriff of the county for 36 years.  What a phenomenal speaker!  He had us laughing, crying, nodding, and sighing with jokes, reminisces, and stories of his days in the military and law enforcement.  He has written two books and was selling one at the dinner.  Then it was time to eat.  There was brisket, sausage, turkey, potato salad, baked beans (the standard Texas fare), and fruit cobbler.  The food was excellent.  After dinner, there was a 50/50 drawing and then about a dozen door prizes.

 24 Sep 2018 (Mon) – We ran out to the laundromat this morning. After putting the clothes in the washer, we went for lunch at Taco Bell.  After returning to put the clothes in the dryers, we drove to WalMart and picked up some groceries and other items.  We then returned to the laundromat, retrieved our clean clothes and returned to the campground.

     There was a hot dog barbecue hosted by the past presidents at the pavilion at 4 p.m.  We brought our chairs over because there weren’t enough picnic tables for everyone. It rained while the barbecue was going on and we had to pull our chairs under cover.  

 23 Sep 2018 (Sun) – It rained last night (again) and was cloudy all day with sprinkles on and off.  We drove into town and had lunch at Whataburger.  It was OK.  We returned to the campground and worked on getting ready for tonight’s Nomads meeting. We sat in a quick meeting of the Travel Committee.  They discussed some changes to the policies regarding carvans and will pass the suggestions on to the Board of Directors (BOD).

     We had social hour at 4 p.m.  Following at 5 p.m., we had a dinner for the Nomads. Shirley picked up the brisket from the BBQ place.  Mike, Cheryl, Paul, and I worked at setting up and serving the food.  After dinner, we held a meeting.  Mike presided, VP Rider joined us, and I took minutes.  The meeting was over at 7 p.m.  Whew!  It was a long day.

22 Sep 2018 (Sat) – It rained all night long, moving from a light sprinkle to heavy downpour alternately.  We drove into Dallas this morning.  It was almost two hours to get there.  There was flooding everywhere.  Several of the lower, smaller roads were under water.  All the creeks and rivers were swollen and breaching their banks.  I kept getting notices on my phone that there was a flash flood warning in the various counties we were passing through.

     We dropped the external storage unit off at Ace Recovery Services. We were going to stop at Cracker Barrel on the way back but the place was crowded with people spilling out of the restaurant and waiting outside.  We continued on and finally stopped at a Mexican restaurant.  The salsa was very good.  Neither of us was fully satisfied with our meal but we ate it.

     At 4:00 p.m. we went to happy hour for the Nomads.  We have picked up 16 new members during this muster. I coordinated with the president, Mike, on picking up the food tomorrow.  Paul sold 50/50 tickets and I continued to accept advance payment for tomorrow’s dinner.  

21 Sep 2018 (Fri) – Paul has spent the last couple of days working on creating a video of our Maritimes caravan from 2016.  Luckily, he had transferred the pictures he wanted to use onto the hard drive before our external drive broke.  It is an 8 terra byte storage device and it won’t power on.  I called Western Digital (makers of the drive) and got some tech in India.  I asked for someone else to speak with since I couldn’t understand her and she transferred me to her Level 2 tech who was even harder to understand.  I pushed for someone who speaks English well and he gave me a phone number for corporate headquarters in San Jose, California. When I called, I got the usual voice offering an array of buttons to push.  When I pushed #4 for tech support, a tech in India picked up the phone! Aaaaargh!!!  I complained and was transferred to a Level 2 tech in India. *sigh*  I gave up and tried to work through the problem.  Western Digital warranties the hard drive but we will have to pay to have the data stored on it recovered by a company recommended by them.  I stated that I bought the item to store AND retrieve data and the cost of recovery should be covered by them in addition to replacing the drive.  The tech essentially told me “too bad” and after telling him I wanted to make a formal protest, we went on to exchange the necessary information for a replacement.  They will send the drive with instructions to return our defective drive.  He took my credit card information for a security hold until they get the drive back. It must be returned within 30 days.

     I then called Ace Data Group/Recovery and was told they will do a free evaluation to assess the problem.  If they have to recover the data, the charge will be $149 per hour with a minimum of 3 hours up to 18 hours.  I said that was ridiculous!  I only paid $200 for the drive and I’ll have to spend at least $450 to get the data off it???  We HAVE to find a better solution.

     In the meantime, Paul had been making a video of our Maritimes caravan from 2016.  When we tried to play it, the format wouldn’t work.  Paul then told me to open it with Windows Media Player.  I did that and the video played.  He was not able to save it on a CD (he kept getting an error message). He saved it on a stick.  But by having changed the format, he was unable to go back into the file and make any changes.  And some of the pictures he had wanted to include in the video weren’t there but we can’t get them off the storage drive.  I have a headache.

     We drove into town with Mike & Cheryl (President of the Nomads and his wife) for lunch and ate at the Golden Chick.  He wanted to see how the food tasted in case he wanted to change our order from beef brisket to chicken for the Nomads dinner on Sunday. The food wasn’t that good so we’ll stay with the brisket.

     After they dropped us back off at the campground, Paul and I drove to the post office and picked up the mail we had forwarded.  Then we stopped in at Brookshire’s Supermarket to see what the cost would be to buy some items to go with the brisket.  We knew Brookshire’s would be more expensive than WalMart but it was just to get a cost estimate.  

     We had the Nomads happy hour at 4:00 pm.  A few more people showed up over yesterday and several brought snacks.  I collected money for the dinner and dues.  Paul got wrangled into selling 50/50 tickets.  Mike gave me two of the three Nomads shirts I ordered.  One is the wrong design – it is a woman’s shirt. I do not wear women’s polo styles because they are too tight across the shoulders and back (caused by my weight lifting days).  It was a frustrating day today.

20 Sep 2018 (Thu) – We ran some errands this morning.  First stop was at the post office for stamps. We did try to visit the local RR Museum but it either wasn’t there or was too small to bother with.  Paul picked up some steel wool at Ace Hardware. We also picked up a few groceries at WalMart.  For lunch, we ate at Mack’s Split Rail Pit BBQ.  The brisket just fell apart but Paul felt it was too dry.  My ribs were delicious!

     There was a lot of running around talking to people about Nomads issues. The President and VP arrived today and I spoke briefly with them.  We met with Shirley who is the muster master for our pre-muster (meeting of the Nomads before the National muster begins).  She was trying to coordinate for a fried chicken dinner but couldn’t find a decent place to buy the food.  After the president asked her to try to coordinate with a BBQ place, she arranged for beef brisket sandwiches.

     At 4 p.m. the Nomads gathered in the Dogwood Room (that was changed from the Pecan Room) for happy hour.  At 5 p.m. Paul and I left and drove to the local VFW Post.  They invited SMART to dinner for $10 pp.  The place was crowded with SMART members and a few lodge members.  They served fried chicken and brisket, potato salad, baked beans, cole slaw, and iced cake (seems to be standard Texas fare).  We returned to the campground at 8 p.m.

19 Sep 2018 (Wed) – We left Shepherd AFB FamCamp at 9:30 a.m. The ride was basically uneventful and took about three and a half hours.  We stopped at a gas station to get fuel and I got a sandwich at Subway.  Paul does not like Subway (they have too many choices) so he didn’t get anything.

     We pulled into Mineola Civic Center at 1 p.m.  We were directed to our “parking area.”  The main camping area is basically a wagon wheel with campers parked back-to-back on the grass.  We are in the inner circle.  The sites are very close to each other.  We got a site with a telephone pole next to us so there are no campsites right there. There is someone parked in the campsite on the other side of the pole but that leaves us room on that side to put out our awning and camp chairs.  This is a dry county and we were warned to be discreet with any drinks.  Keep beer cans in cozies and wine in paper cups.

     After set up, I walked over to examine the pavilion where the Nomads will be meeting.  Then Paul and I walked over to the main administration building.  The two gals from HQ were in a small room getting set up. We got the name tags we ordered and a refund check from our Minnesota caravan.  Whenever there is money left over, they send it back to the participants. They refunded $172 per person. That was a pleasant surprise.

     We returned to our rig and found that Carl & Gwen had arrived. They weren’t expected until tomorrow. Sandy & Tom had to step down as Wagon Masters of our Utah caravan next year.  We are now the Wagon Masters and we asked Carl & Gwen to be our Tail Gunners.  They agreed. We will have to find time during this National Muster to fill them in on what we have put together so far.

 18 Sep 2018 (Tue) – We left the Elks Lodge in Guthrie, OK at 9 a.m. It was a four hour ride to Shepherd AFB Recreation Area in Whitesboro, TX.  We stopped at a travel plaza run by the Chickasaw Nation.  They had some kind of fried burritos that were overcooked. Boy, these long runs sure result in our not eating very well.

     We arrived at the turn off for the FamCamp.  It turned out to be nine miles off the main highway along narrow country roads with overgrown trees and sporadic potholes.  The campground is beautiful.  It sits right on Lake Texoma.  The area was built by the ACOE and then given to the military in the 1950s. It has a rustic feel to it but the pull through site had full hookups.  There is no wifi in the campground.  We are so far away from everything, we didn’t even leave the campground.