#we’re back to superheroes folks

[writeittypeit]

Hey we’re here to eat cheetohs and kick ass and we’re all outta cheet-oh nvm here’s another bag

[owl-with-a-pen]

Outside of superhero emergencies, Kara didn’t tend to lean into her super hearing where she could avoid it. Girl’s night at her apartment, for example, definitely shouldn’t have called for it. Then again, she wasn’t usually the subject of discussion in just about every apartment block on her street.

So, maybe that wasn’t completely true. She’d certainly heard her name mentioned a lot more since the whole secret identity reveal thing; it was just, nowadays, instead of hearing Supergirl, it was usually Kara Zor-El.

She was used to it. She’d been used to it for years; her name was normally a hot topic days, if not weeks after a major save was broadcast. The only difference now was… not all of those voices were as positive as she’d come to expect.

Like right now, for instance. No matter how hard she tried to shut it out, she couldn’t help but listen for that same voice echoing from hundreds of homes across the city, streaming from earbuds, speakers and laptops alike. His voice was charismatic and quick, like a less polished Maxwell Lord, and while he may have been a nobody just a few weeks ago, he’d certainly gained enough traction now to give Kara one hell of a headache.

Unfortunately for her, she’d inadvertently tuned herself in at just the right time for her downstairs neighbour to hit play:

“Alright folks, if you missed our last episode I’ll catch you up to speed. Last week, we rounded off at the crux of the Supergirl Problem; that she hasn’t just been living in our midst this whole time, but that she’s been actively working as a journalist for CatCo Worldwide Media. And, just a few weeks ago, she was publicly put in charge of the editorial process for that same media outlet minutes after she came clean about her alter-ego to the world. And, as I doubt Supergirl will want to speak for herself on the matter, we have one of her self-proclaimed super-fans in the house today to speak on her behalf. Say it with me at home folks, debate me, Supergirl!”

The aforementioned ‘super-fan’ let out a surprised scoff at her introduction. She didn’t waste a minute of her airtime, jumping immediately into the conversation: “Well, for starters, I think you’re taking this whole thing out of context. Supergirl didn’t just become a journalist for CatCo overnight. If you knew anything about Kara’s story, you’d know that she worked her way up the food chain for years! I mean, how empowering is that? She started as a PA!”

“Yeah, a PA with superspeed, how difficult. No wonder she ended up in Cat Grant’s palm! And yes, I do know her origin story, thank you very much.” The host’s voice crackled as Kara imagined him relaxing into his microphone. “Let the audience not forget that she was a PA for Cat Grant before she became a journalist. Are we really going to pretend that wasn’t her foot in the door?”

“Cat Grant wasn’t even her boss when she got into journalism,” argued the young woman. “And by the time Kara made a name for herself, Cat wasn’t even leading the company anymore! She got to where she is now on her own merit, no one elses!”

The host spoke over her: “It begs the question, did Cat Grant know this whole time? She takes a sabbatical only to re-emerge just in time to offer Supergirl a promotion. On top of that, she’s been promoting Supergirl for years! She created her – her words, on record. And now she’s put her in charge of media distribution. Get this: Supergirl is now in charge of the media we consume. Isn’t that a little self-indulgent?”

The young woman didn’t back down. “Kara Danvers was a Pultizer winning journalist long before we found out who she really was,” she argued. “She’s been standing for truth and justice just as much as Supergirl has. In fact, she’s just as much a hero as—”

“But what’s the agenda here?” the host continued with a conspiratorial air. “How can we even believe the news now it’s being headed by a liar? And she did, didn’t she? She lied to us all! She had a secret identity this whole time, and what? We’re just supposed to accept that? What’s the bet that this story will make a headline at CatCo magazine tomorrow morning, with my comments made out as Supergirl’s latest villain story? Or, better yet, will I be Kara Danver’s first official nemesis?” He barked out a laugh into his microphone. “There’s no freedom of the press anymore, folks, not when CatCo is bias towards the very hero that made it so popular in the first place!”

Before she could hear any more, Kara was thrown from her super-eavesdropping rather unceremoniously when a hand shot out in front of her face, waving impatiently.  

“Earth to Kara,” Alex said, snapping her fingers in front of her sister’s nose. “Hey, anyone home?”

“Huh?” Kara said before screwing her eyes shut, swatting away Alex’s offending hand. “Hey, hey, stop that!”

It was only then that she realised that it wasn’t just Alex who had been trying to get her attention. Lena and Kelly were staring at her from the opposite sofa. Nia sat cross legged on the footstool by the coffee table, nursing her drink with an expectant expression.

Kara glanced lamely at the TV. It didn’t look like anyone had been paying attention to the movie for quite some time.

Just how long had she been…?

Kara tried not to cringe.

Kelly cleared her throat, smoothing her hands over her lap. “From your expression, I’m guessing you were listening in on something pretty important.” She hesitated. “Is everything okay?”

Kara’s eyes widened. “What? Oh, oh no, it’s not a superhero emergency, I swear. Girl’s night continues uninterrupted, I promise!”

“Okay,” Nia said with a slow smile. “Then what was with the—” She mimicked Kara’s spaced-out expression a little too well, earning a few grins at her expense.

Kara pursed her lips. “Uh—I mean. It was nothing. Just…” She sagged in on herself awkwardly. “Okay, so I may have been listening to this podcast…”

“Oof.” Alex winced. “You don’t wanna do that.”

Kara groaned, falling back against the sofa. “I’ve been trying not to, but it’s kinda hard when half of my building’s listening to it.” She rubbed aggressively at her ears. “Super hearing can really suck, you guys.”

“Wait,” Nia said, perking up. “Are you talking about the Debate Me, Supergirl podcast?” When everyone turned to stare at her, she shrugged. “What? Brainy’s been keeping tabs on all social channels for this stuff ever since your interview first went public, y’know, calculating the odds on them picking up any real traction. In case things go… south.”

“And what are the odds on this guy?” Alex asked seriously.

Nia made a vague gesture. “I mean, until a few days ago, Brainy had him in the unlikely category. But his latest interview with a Supergirl stan got a whole lot of attention on social media. They were basically at each other’s throats the entire time.” She took a mild sip of her drink. “People ate it up.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Of course they did. And I’m guessing from your tone, not much of the audience were on this super – uh – stan’s side?”

Nia pulled a face, taking an even larger swig.

Kara groaned again, burying her face in her hands. “This is awful. I- I just can’t believe how little faith they have in me now that they know the truth!”

Lena smiled her sympathy. “Take it from someone who was once deluded enough to fall right into that same category of hatefully ignorant.” She toasted her scotch glass to no one in particular, swirling its contents with a gentle twist of her wrist. “It’s not easy for people to accept that their larger-than-life hero was living amongst them.”

Kara’s head shot up in protest. “I never wanted anyone to put me on a pedestal.”

“Want has nothing to do about it. Like it or not, they did.” Lena paused, tucking her legs into the sofa’s arm. She fixed Kara with a level look. “Kara, I say this as your friend, but you have to understand how powerful you are in the eyes of a regular citizen. You fly, you shoot laser beams from your eyes, you’re bullet proof and fire proof. Your power is limitless and even though this city has seen you fall, they’ve also seen you get back up time and time again.”

Kara bit her lip. “That part I can understand, but it’s not just that. This podcaster isn’t only targeting my Supergirl persona. It’s Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El that they don’t trust.” She snorted, throwing her hands wide. “They think the fact that I’m working as CatCo’s Editor-in-Chief makes the whole platform inherently bias. And �� yes – I know I’ve fought my own biases in the past, and it’s not like being impartial was what won me a Pulitzer, but to them— a superhero in the press just doesn’t appeal. They think I’m a fraud, that I’ve been manipulating public opinion.” Kara could feel her face begin to flush in frustration. She ran a hand through her hair, standing just to put her energy somewhere. She slammed a fist against her palm, taking a step around the coffee table with every beat. “But, I mean, don’t they remember how CatCo turned on Supergirl after the Red Kryptonite incident? And rightfully, too. I lost the people’s trust then, and now—now it’s happening all over again and I just… I don’t know how to win them back,” she laughed through her teeth, “or if I can win them back!”

Alex took Kara’s arm swiftly as she passed her by, tugging her to her side. “Hey, no one said this was gonna be easy.”

“I think those were Cat’s exact words, actually,” Nia said helpfully, pointing in Alex’s direction.

Kara huffed, anchored by her sister’s steadying hand. “Yeah? Well, they didn’t say it would be this difficult, either.”

“Don’t listen to a few angry voices,” Nia insisted, her voice sobering. “They aren’t worth your energy, trust me.”

“Are they just a few?” Kara asked grimly. If she tried hard enough, she was sure she could still tune into hundreds of versions of that same podcast playing from across the city. Whether they agreed with him or not, the people of National City and beyond were listening to this nameless podcaster, and that was dangerous enough on its own.

Nia smiled tightly, balling her knuckles against her lap. “Just don’t listen to them, okay?” She closed her eyes. “Look, people like to make a lot of noise when they feel like they’ve been lied to, but the truth is, they were never entitled to that information to begin with. When I did my Dreamer interview with you, a lot of people were so supportive; some of them even saw themselves in me, but there were always hateful voices that tried to drown out the positive ones.” She straightened her back, opening her eyes. “But, y’know, they make that much noise because they know they’re in the minority, and they do not have the power that they think. Putting it into perspective like that… it’s a lot easier to ignore them, especially when I know how many people I’ve helped by sharing my story.”

“You’re right,” Kara said softly. Because she was. Of course she was. A single podcast spouting a single negative view didn’t diminish everything good that had come out of Supergirl’s identity reveal. Yes, the celebrity-level thing took some getting used to and openly flying to work made her something of a spectacle when it came to the office situation, but for the most part, Kara was relieved to have that weight off her shoulders, and it was a joy to know just how many aliens felt more confident to live as themselves now that they knew Supergirl had also shared their struggle.

In truth, the world knowing where she had come from, who she had been ever since she’d landed on Earth, grounded her to the people in a way that had never struck quite the same as just Supergirl. And that was worth any amount of growing pains.

Kara reached out for Nia’s hand over the coffee table, squeezing tight. “Thank you.”

Nia’s smile softened. “Any time.”

Lena cleared her throat, shifting higher against her pillow. “And, as for your job,” she said with a sly smile of her own, “let’s just say I know a thing or two about the public coming for your throat, deeming you unworthy of the position you’ve fairly worked your way up to. It’s just like Nia said, you ignore it, Kara. You ignore it because you have nothing to prove to anyone, you’re already doing one hell of a job as a journalist. Remain honest with yourself, and eventually people will see it. Not everyone of course.” She tilted her head, raising her glass to her lips. “You’ll never have everyone’s approval. If you did, well, I’d say you were on another planet, because that’s certainly not how the human race are wired.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Nia chimed in, leaning up to clink her glass with Lena’s. She caught Kelly’s glass on her way back.

Kelly smiled fondly, though there was a strained edge to her expression when she said, “We’ve all had to work twice as hard to prove ourselves. And as much as it hurts, that extends to Supergirl as well.”

Kara sat back down with a sigh, leaning into the embrace that Alex readily offered her. “Cat once told me the same thing; right after she’d first claimed Supergirl, actually.”

“Exactly,” Alex said with a sage nod. She kissed her sister’s hair. “And, hey, Cat Grant won’t let a podcast beat down her creation. Hell, her empire is built on powerful women, it always has been, always will.” She gestured to everyone in the room. “You are all prime examples of that.”

Kara nudged her sister playfully, pushing out of her arms. “Hey, well, the amount of times the DEO has personally kept that building from crashing to the ground, I’d say you’re an honorary member of Cat’s empire, too.”

Alex’s nose crinkled. “I think I prefer the title of badass DEO leader, but I’ll take it.” She grinned, rolling her eyes. “The point is, you have us, Kara.”

“Yeah.” Nia beamed. “And our opinion is worth a million times more than some crappy podcast.”

“Oh, cheers to that, too!” Alex laughed and they all converged with their glasses, meeting with a raucous clash over the coffee table.

Cheers rang out all ‘round, and Kara let the simple joy of that moment infect her. Their combined laughter easily blotted out any chances of hearing another word from that podcaster’s mouth.

She'd lost the taste for eavesdropping, anyway.

[that-writing-raccoon]

MEET CHAOTIC PROMPTS

Alright, kids, listen up.

We’re all suckers for a good meet-cute. Don’t even try to lie to me. Like, yeah, they’re cliché, but, if done well, it can be really cute, hence the name.

Meet-uglies on the other hand can be super funny, and they almost always lead to enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers, even if just for a hot second. They’re great, too.

But here’s the thing:

I want more meet-chaotics. Not meet-cutes, not meet-uglies, meet-chaotics.

What do I mean by this?

Well, you know how crazy life can be sometimes? How wack shit happens, it makes a good story to tell your friends, and it makes you low-key question reality for a second? Yeah. Meet-chaotics are like that. How you met is just so weird and chaotic that it was a bonding experience.

Here are some prompts/concepts so you understand what I’m getting at:

“Normal”/Humor:

 “I’m an uber driver dropping off my last customer, and you and your friends(?) just jumped into my backseat right as they got out and yelled a variety of ‘DRIVE! FUCKING DRIVE!’ and ‘FLOOR IT!’ There are flashing lights behind me, but I panicked and stepped on the gas, and now you’re trying to assure me that it’s not what it looks like, but I’m too busy worrying that I’m a wanted criminal now.” 

Bonus points for found family and/or polyamory!

“I’ve had a really bad day, and it started to rain, so, because I’m dramatic, I blasted my ‘*insert playlist name here*’ and lied down on my sidewalk/lawn/driveway facing the sky, and you just drove by, backed up, and ran out to join me as ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol was playing. I have never met you before, but I’m pretty sure we’ve bonded and might be soulmates.” (Yes, I got this idea from a TikTok. What of it?).

“I was walking my dog at the park when he got off his leash, and now I’m running after him through the park calling his name and yelling to ‘GET THAT DOG!’ You’re having a barbecue/family reunion/birthday party, and my dog sprints towards you, knocks someone over, and begins eating your food. You see me sprinting towards you and trying to catch my dog, but he’s faster, so now we’re both chasing my dog, and I may or may not be swearing words that’d make a sailor blush. Eventually, one of us or a random stranger catches him, and we finally stop, and, hey, sorry about that, but, wazow! You’re pretty cute.” 

Bonus points for anyone vaulting over a table or something.

“We’re on our way to class, and I just witnessed you run past me down the stairs holding a bunch of books, trip, roll down two flights, and roll to your feet and keep running like nothing happened. And, like, we didn’t talk, and I don’t think you noticed me, but now I can’t help thinking of you. Like, that was impressive, but are you okay?”

“We’re at a house party, and it’s gotten pretty wild. Music is blasting from the speakers, people are dancing on tables, stuff is breaking, etc. Suddenly, the music shuts off, and someone yells, “POLICE!” and everyone s c a t t e r s. It’s pure chaos. I trip while running outside and curl up in a ball to not get trampled, but then a hand reaches down and pulls me up, it’s you, and we run off together still holding hands. Who are you, again?”

Bonus points if this goes back to the uber driver prompt. 

Bonus bonus points if this couple is coming from the same place as the folks from the first prompt, so it’s same universe, but they’re completely different people having their own meet-chaotics running from the police ‘cause they were at the same party.

Could be any illegal/big crowd scenario. A concert, a protest, etc. 

Sci-Fi:

“We live in a world where superheroes exist. One day, I’m minding my own business in my own apartment when you, *insert superhero name here,* crash through my wall while I’m just lounging on the couch, mug of coffee/preferred drink to my lips, feet up on my coffee table, and laptop open on my lap. We stare at each other. You get up, apologize, and fly off through the hole in the wall. Little do I know, you feel bad about the whole thing and decide to try making it up to me, except every thing you try just descends us more and more into chaos.”

Bonus points if this ends up being enemies to lovers, seeing as the protagonist, Character A, would probably be hella bitter about not having the specific superhero insurance needed to fix their wall. 

Bonus bonus points if Superhero has to save A from x during one of their attempts to fix the situation. 

“It’s the zombie apocalypse. I’ve set up camp in a (mostly) abandoned town, scavenging to survive. One day, there’s an unusual amount of zombies in the road. Panicked, I start to climb something. When I’m about halfway up, I hear a weird noise, and look down just in time to see you and your friend whizzing by on a shopping cart down the incline- you in the basket and your friend riding on the back. You’re screaming/yelling and swinging a bat around. The zombies are too slow and uncoordinated to catch up with you. At the last second, you look up at me and we make eye-contact mid-me making at wtf face. It’s such a stupid strategy that I’m low key in love.”

“It’s an alien invasion. We’re all running and screaming for our lives. Suddenly, there’s a spot light, and you start being pulled up into a ship. You panic and grab something. For some unknown, ungodly reason, I try to help you. It goes as well as it sounds. Cue us both getting beamed up while holding on to each other for dear life.”

“We’re on a spaceship. There are so many people on board that it’s impossible to truly know or recognize anyone. I’m working or reading or what have you, when I so happened to glance up at my porthole/window, just in time to see you, who’d been fixing something on the outside of the ship, floating away and doing some space gymnastics with your lead and etc., and swimming, to get back to the ship. I do what anyone responsible would do and sprint off to the docks to get you back safe inside.”

Bonus if Floating Person is just doing the absolute most ridiculous things to make it back.

I have more, but I feel like this post is long enough. But yeah. Something something meeting someone in the most chaotic, stupid, and unhinged way gets to me. Like, we’ve all have shared moments with a stranger because we both witnessed something or been involved in something dumb or crazy. And usually it’s like, eye-contact or brief, awkward commentary, then at the end of the day you go home and it’s just a funny story that only you guys experienced. Something about it just speaks to me.

[petercapaldi-press]

INTERVIEW

‘The government has been too terrible to make fun of’: Peter Capaldi on satire, politics and privilege

Sun 14 Jan 2024 09.00 CET

Tom Lamont

One winter morning, a Doctor Who comes calling. The Glaswegian actor Peter Capaldi lives about an hour’s walk from me and instead of us meeting in some midway café, the 65-year-old wanders over (leather booted, woolly jumpered, cloaked in a dark winter coat that sets off his pale-grey hair) to have coffee at my kitchen table. My son is off school with flu, medicating on Marvel movies and barely able to believe his luck as the actorly embodiment of an alien superhero wanders through our flat. While we’re waiting for the kettle to boil, I ask Capaldi whether he ran into any other Doctor Whos on his walk through the actorland that is suburban north London.

‘You can’t be the cynical melancholic I naturally am’: Peter Capaldi wears coat by Mr P (mrporter.com); jumper by uniqlo.com; trousers by reiss.com; and shoes by johnlobb.com. Photograph: Simon Emmett/The Observer

“You do run into each other. You have a laugh, a gossip, you share. There aren’t a lot of people who have been in that role in the centre of that storm. Most people think the job is being on the Tardis and running around with Daleks. Which it is. That’s the fun part. But there’s a lot of other stuff you have to do, too. You’re kind of the face of the brand and the brand is very big. You can’t be the cynical melancholic I naturally am. You have to pretend to be a version of yourself that’s far more amenable.”

Is it a bit like being the Queen?

“Kind of,” he says. “You embody for a time this folk hero, this icon. I was able to comfort people in a way that would be beyond the powers of Peter. You could walk into a room and people gasped with delight. It doesn’t happen any more.”

Great Scot: Peter Capaldi wears blazer by ralphlauren.co.uk. Photograph: Simon Emmett/The Observer

After graduating school at 18, this confused cross-artistic trajectory continued. “I tried to be an actor, but I didn’t get into drama school, so I went to art school. When I was at art school, I joined a band.” In his early 20s, Capaldi released a single as part of a group called Dreamboys; then he quit music and spent most of his 20s acting, getting small jobs in theatre and TV as well as a walk-on part opposite John Malkovich in 1988’s Dangerous Liaisons. In his 30s, he decided to concentrate on directing.

Feel the heat: in The Thick of it. Photograph: Everett Collection/Alamy

Miramax sent a limo to pick him up from the airport. “I fell into conversation with the driver, lovely man, Ralph. When I got out of the car I gave him a big tip. Because I was a big shot now, you see. Then Ralph said: ‘I’ve been told to wait for you here.’” Uh oh. “Inside, all the people in the office were avoiding my eye. Bob said, ‘I’ll come straight to it, we’re not gonna do the movie, my brother Harvey says he doesn’t know how to sell it.’ He said, ‘But we love you! You’re one of the family! You’ll always have a place here!’ Needless to say, I never heard from him again. Obviously, while I was in the air they’d had a discussion and changed their minds. I was so dumbfounded as I climbed back into the limo I just laughed. I had no money, because we’d bought a little house in Crouch End, and I had no career, because I’d turned my back on acting.”

In a gesture that Capaldi has never forgotten, Ralph the limo driver tried to give him back his big tip.

Fun fact: in Paddington 2. Photograph: Supplied by LMK

He and Collins were young parents themselves when his directing career fell apart. Arriving back in London from the disastrous Manhattan trip, “The initial feeling was shock. Then a pragmatic survival instinct kicked in.” Capaldi rejoined the auditioning circuit. “I was a psychiatrist in Midsomer Murders. I was a beekeeper in Poirot – AN Other Actor. Someone else would have turned down these parts first.” Collins, until that point an actor, too, decided to pivot into development and production, a career move that has worked well for her.

Folk Hero: in his new series Criminal Record. Photograph: Ben Meadows/Apple

When The Thick of It debuted, Capaldi entered the sitcom pantheon overnight. Revisiting episode one, what’s glaring is how fully formed, how exquisite a character Tucker is. Alan Partridge, Samantha Jones, Frasier Crane, David Brent … these creations had to be discovered over time by their actors and writers. With Tucker it’s all there from word one, the controlled fury, the foul-mouthed eloquence, that constant convenient deployment of hypocrisy. Capaldi played the part for seven years, winning a Bafta mid-run. It led to other memorable gigs, as a news producer in 2012’s The Hour and as Count Richelieu in a 2014 adaptation of the Musketeers story. He was Mister Micawber in Iannucci’s 2019 reimagining of David Copperfield, a fun role that was bookended by two equally fun Paddington movies, released in 2014 and 2017.

‘You’re the face of the brand and the brand is very big’: playing Doctor Who. Photograph: Everett Collection Inc/Alamy

We talk about how weird it is that political satire should have fallen into abeyance in the 2020s – perhaps because, as Capaldi says, “things have been too bad to make fun of. Making fun normalises situations I don’t think should be normalised. The planet is burning. They’re pumping shit into the rivers. I’m not gonna be part of making jokes about that… All this highfalutin life I’ve had,” he says, of the awards parties, the film roles, the immortal runs as a sweary spin doctor and an inscrutable Doctor Who, “is because I went to art school. My parents couldn’t afford to send me. I went because the government of the day paid for me to go and I didn’t have to pay them back. There was a thrusting society then, a society that tried to improve itself. Yes, of course, it cost money. But so what? It allowed people from any kind of background to learn about Shakespeare, or Vermeer, or whatever they wanted to learn about. Why did we lose this, this belief in ourselves?”

Shared vision: with his wife and co-producer Elaine. Photograph: Trinity Mirror/Mirrorpix/Alamy

“This business is full of people who are not the real thing,” he says, “people I perceived to be artists ’cos they had posh accents, but who didn’t have it, they just sounded like they did.” He goes on to tell a tantalising but intentionally vague story about a major star he worked with, someone who revealed themselves through the course of an acting collaboration to be a dud hiding in plain sight. He won’t provide details (“Too easy to figure out. When everyone’s dead I’ll tell you”), but he says the experience changed him professionally, leaving him more aware of his own limitations, but grateful to have a little vinegar and grit in the mix. “There’s a kind of smoothness, a kind of confidence that comes from a good [paid-for] school. That’s what you’re struck by: they seem to know how to move through the world recognising which battle to fight, where to press their attentions. But it can make the acting smooth, which to me is tedious. I like more neurosis. More fear. More trouble, you know?”

Burning bright: with John Malkovich in Dangerous Liaisons. Photograph: Everett Collection/Alamy

In the new TV show, Criminal Record, he explores a more mortal kind of ageing, life’s third act, its inevitable professional humblings. Capaldi plays a London DCI in his 60s, coming to the end of a career, already moonlighting as a private security contractor, intimidated by the thrust and purpose of a younger colleague at the Met played by Cush Jumbo. As Jumbo’s character grows in confidence, Capaldi’s shrinks. It is a paradox of experience he can relate to. “I find the older I get, the closer I am to who I was,” he says.

I ask him to explain.

“Like I’m returning to… ‘roots’ is the wrong word. I feel more and more like my mother and father, more and more keenly aware of the values they had.” He provides an interesting example, how he has become all thumbs around the act of tipping in restaurants: “I can be in a complete sweat about that.” He can imagine his parents, both dead now, in a similar muddle. “From the background we come from, you can have a bit of anxiety about coming across as grand. So you have to allay that by making sure you are communicating with everybody, all the time.”

Capaldi shakes his head, chuckling softly. He has finished his coffee. He’s about to put on his big coat, say goodbye to my son, and walk back through Whoville to his home and his family. Before he leaves we return to the subject of actors from privileged backgrounds. He says he feels mean, like he took unfair advantage of them in their absence. “It’s not their fault,” he says. “It’s just that there’s less and less of my lot in the arts.” And this concerns him, he continues, because “people of all backgrounds are sophisticated, are interesting, are equally prone to tragedy and joy. Any art that articulates that is a comfort. Art is the ultimate expression of you are not alone, wherever you are, whatever situation you are in. Art is about reaching out. So I think it’s wrong to allow one strata of society to have the most access.”

He nods, feeling he’s expressed himself better. I agree.

This article was amended on 14 January 2024. The episode in which the Doctor is set “a sisyphean task of endurance” is called Heaven Sent, not Heaven’s Gate as an earlier version said.

Criminal Record is streaming now on Apple TV+, with new episodes every Wednesday

Fashion editor Helen Seamons; Grooming by Kenneth Soh at The Wall Group using Eighth Day; fashion assistant Sam Deaman; photography assistants Tom Frimley and Tilly Pearson; shot at Loft Studio

[ericdeggans]

When your job is explaining race and media, what happens when you find a situation you don't want to explain?

That moment came for me this week, as memes were rocketing around social media connected to the brawl in Montgomery, Ala., where a crowd of mostly-Black bystanders ran to help a Black ferry co-captain who was being assaulted by a group of white men.

Video filmed by a group of mostly-Black bystanders on a nearby boat captured it all: The co-captain throwing his hat in the air, once a white man pushed him harshly; an older Black man whaling on people with a folding chair, including a white woman who was just sitting on the ground by then; a young Black man on a boat close by who jumped into the water and swam with amazing speed to the scene, jumping up to throw hands.

And, in moments, Black Twitter jumped to life (I know he’s renamed it X, but we ain’t recognizing that, and the term refers to people being Black across social media anyway. Harrumph).

There was the quiz asking which folding chair are you? There was the graphic pointing out that an early version of the folding chair was invented by a Black man (seems to be true). The photoshopped picture showing glowing rings around Black folks rushing into the fight, mimicking the climax of Avengers Endgame, where superheroes rushed in to save the day. Images dubbing the young swimmer Black Aquaman, Aquamayne and Blaquaman.

And two of my personal faves: A photoshopped image of the Martin Luther King Jr. statue holding a folding chair. And a version of the brawl video remade as the opening to classic Black sitcom Good Times, with acerbic credits noting the show was “created by Consequences and Repercussions.”

I was blown away by how quickly Black folks across social media were converting horror over a narrowly averted, racialized beat down into funny memes celebrating the reflex of Black folks to stand up for one another, especially when we’re faced with danger from white people.

But when I posted the photo of MLK’s status with the folding chair on my social media feeds, I just added one word: Wow.

I wanted the image to speak for itself. And I wanted people who had questions about what it meant to jump into social media and find out for themselves. I felt the image and its implied humor – that the nation’s most revered civil rights leader might be hoisting a folding chair to defend Black folks in the modern age – was most powerful when not explained.

Unfortunately, some people on my social media platforms insisted on an explanation. One was pretty persistent about it. And I realized I just didn’t want to explain the image, for some reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Yeah, it’s sometimes tiring to always be asked to explain your cultural nuances to the world. But that’s the gig I signed up for, many years ago. And yes, the joking was hiding a fear that today’s climate has left racists emboldened enough to attack a Black man in broad daylight for doing his job. So explaining only resurfaces those darker feelings in ways I wasn’t quite ready to process.

Still, something else was also at play. I always say social media is often like a giant dinner party, where people forget they are sometimes listening in on conversations between other people. In this case, being asked to explain the folding chair memes felt like having someone barge into an ongoing conversation to ask for an explanation. This was a moment where Black folks could be hilariously Black online and we could all share that moment together, laughing and consoling each other in one viral, social media moment.

Sometimes, in situations like that, understanding comes best by sitting back, listening widely and learning. Even for me.

I don’t know if this reaction is fair – especially given how much I’ve encouraged discussion about race over the years. But its all I have left, in a world where I increasingly feel like a frog in pot of steadily heating water, wondering when the heat will begin to burn me, my loved ones, my family, my friends and my people.

[kasienda]

Bend the World Around It - Ch 4: Ladynoir is Canon

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Read on Ao3

Inspired by @blur0se for @marimbles. Thanks to @coffeebanana for being an amazing beta!!

Chapter 4: Ladynoir is Canon

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you!” Ladybug yells, her arms crossed. 

Chat laughs, and sweeps her to the side of a beam of light. “Focus on the akuma, m’lady! That one almost got you.” 

Ladybug harrumphs, and her yoyo shoots out. “Stop being so distracting then!”

Chat’s grin grows two fold on his face. “Oh? Is my lady distracted by meow ?” 

Alya’s phone is trained on the exchange, not missing a moment. Something has definitely shifted between the two of them, no matter how much Marinette denies it.

“Is it just me, Ladybloggers, or is Ladybug acting a little smitten these days?” 

Nino, beside her, snorts, but refrains from commenting. She grins at him, careful to keep her phone camera on the superhero duo. 

Marinette might kill her for adding fuel to the rumors, but Alya would be teasing her a ton later in person anyway. Marinette probably thought she was being subtle, but the girl didn’t know the meaning of the word. Not when it came to falling in love. 

Alya loved that about her. 

Flirting banter aside, they work in tandem more smoothly than ever and the akuma is defeated and purified in less than two minutes. 

The two heroes turn towards each other for their traditional fist bump. Alya always loves to catch this part - even though it’s always the same. There’s something so powerful about acknowledging each other’s support every time, about never taking it for granted.

Only when their hands meet there’s no fist bump at all. 

Ladybug pulls Chat Noir to her and whirls him around into a dip. Then, she’s kissing him senseless.

Alya almost drops her phone. 

“Nino!” she hits him in the shoulder. “Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

Nino nods rapidly, his own face lighting up in a smile. “Yup! Definitely babe!” 

“Come on!” She can corner Marinette later for details, but that runs the risk of letting Nadia Chamack get the first interview, which, as the founder of the Ladybug, Alya absolutely cannot let happen. 

“Ladybug! Chat Noir!” she calls, running up to them with her video still rolling. “That was quite the display! Are the two of you dating?” 

Alya half expects Marinette to glare at her, but she doesn’t. Instead, she turns an absolutely besotted love sick smile towards her partner. 

“Actually, no. We’re married.” 

Alya drops her phone. “What?! Ma– Ladybug! What?!” 

She sweeps up her phone off the ground and keeps recording.

Ladybug’s fingers are interlaced with Chat’s as they stare into each other’s eyes waaay too sweetly.

Chat Noir turns to her first. “Actually, today’s our anniversary!” 

Ladybug’s face dissolves into total confusion. “What? No, it’s not.” 

Chat Noir turns back to her. “Three years, six months,” he tells her, kissing her knuckles of their joined hands, “to the day.”

Alya shakes her head. That doesn’t make sense! They haven’t even known each other for that long. Alya’s been listening to the blow by blow of Marinette’s love life since they became friends.

But Ladybug’s face melts into goo. “That is not a thing.”

He grins, and kisses her nose. “It is now.”

Pink blooms across Marinette’s face. “Gah! How am I ever going to compete with you romantically?!” she demands. 

Chat Noir smiles and it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist for him. Not the akuma victim, not Alya or Nino, or her phone still recording this exchange. 

He brings her hand up to his face, and deposits the gentlest kiss. “M’lady, it’s not a competition, but if it was, you’ve already won. At least in my book.”

Ladybug surges up to her tiptoes and kisses him again. The kiss does not stay chaste.

Nino whistles. 

Alya bites her tongue on all the questions she wants to demand of her best friend for the sake of the video.

When they pull apart, gasping, Alya lets herself speak. 

“You heard it here first, folks. Looks like Ladynoir is canon!” 

Ladybug and Chat Noir both giggle, and wave to the camera. 

Alya grins. She has never seen Marinette quite this happy – and she’s seen Marinette positively giddy during a sugar high after Adrien told her he liked her outfit. 

She supposes her curiosity can wait. 

…

Marinette is suspiciously hard to get ahold of for the whole next day. 

Alya: You had better call me back before tomorrow! I’m going crazy, girl! You can’t just drop that on me in front of all of Paris and expect me not to slip up! I’m about to burst! And the only person I can talk to about this is Nino!  And he can’t keep a secret! Call me back!!

Her phone immediately buzzes in her hand. She answers immediately. 

“Just come over,” Marinette invites. “I’m home. We can have a sleepover!” 

Less than an hour later Alya has a pillow hugged to her chest across from Marinette on her bed. Marinette tells her about an akuma that hit both Ladybug and Chat Noir with Jubilation an entire six months prior. Six months . Marinette kept this from her for six months!

“Three years?!” Alya echoes. “You dreamed up a life together for three years?”

Marinette nods.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alya’s not upset. She is confused. 

Marinette glances away. “I don’t know. It felt too fragile. Like an alarm clock would go off and I’d wake up and it’d all be a dream.” 

“If you had told me it might have started to feel real!” 

Marinette smiles. “Yeah, you’re right. But it also felt so unfair because he can’t talk about it with anyone in his life.” 

Alya’s chest clenches. That would be so hard. 

Marinette’s smile grew threefold. “But I feel so free now that we’re public. Before, we could only see each other once in a while. It was so hard to pretend that he wasn’t part of my life. And I still can’t talk to anyone about it as myself.” 

“Besides me,” Alya insists. 

Marinette nods. “Besides you.”

Alya scoots forward on the bed eagerly until there’s no space between their knees anymore. 

“So tell me everything.” 

Marinette giggles. “Well, so apparently, Chat Noir’s family owns an unused apartment in downtown Paris.” 

“Unused?!” Alya repeats. How wealthy did he have to be to just have an apartment lying around. 

Marinette nods. “Uh huh. Chat proposed that we live there together whenever we could get away. So, one day a week, that’s what we do.” 

“Oh my god! Girl!” 

…

Sabine slides the white cardboard box across the counter. “Can I get you anything else?” 

The customer smiles. “No, thank you. That will be all.” 

The bell doorbell rings, signaling the arrival of more guests. 

“Thank you! Come again!” Sabine calls after the customer. 

Everyone in the small bakery front turns and gasps. It’s none other than Ladybug and Chat Noir who have arrived. They hang back from the counter, discussing the menu over one another’s shoulders. Sabine can’t help the smile that blooms across her face at how comfortable they look standing side by side even with all the extra attention. 

Taking advantage of the distraction caused by the presence of two superheroes in the dining area, she pokes her head around the back. Her husband is folding a rectangle of dough for tomorrow’s batch of croissants. 

“Tom, they’re here again.” 

He looks up with a huge grin. “Have they ordered yet?” 

“Not yet.” 

He always makes a point of checking in on the heroes himself. She thinks giving them special attention is his way of thanking them for purifying his akuma not once, but twice. 

“And have you seen Marinette?” he asks. She has grown scarce as of late. 

She shakes her head. “Not today, but I’m less worried now. She’s been far more energetic and upbeat in the last two weeks or so.” 

She steps back into the showroom, behind the counter. “What can I get you?” she asks the next customer.

She carries out the order automatically. 

“Ladybug! Chat Noir!” she greets as they step forward. “Always lovely to see you! What can I get you?” 

Since the two heroes started coming in regularly just over two weeks ago, Chat Noir has always ordered the same thing: a cheese danish, a salmon quiche, and a single passionfruit macaron that Tom only started adding to the regular menu when he learned it was the hero’s favorite flavor. Ladybug is less predictable, often selecting the special, but the girl seems to have an eye for which items are the freshest and orders those. 

“Mme. Cheng! You are looking radiant as always,” Chat Noir greets. Ladybug smiles at him, pink dusting her cheeks. 

Sabine’s chest floods with warmth at the sight. She just loves young love. There’s something so pure about it. 

Once they order, they settle into two seats by the window. The same seat they always choose if it’s open. Sabine wonders if they choose that seat to advertise for the bakery intentionally. 

Tom delivers their orders to them a few minutes later. “Can I get you anything else? On the house.” 

Chat Noir only lets Tom and Sabine treat them when Ladybug pressures him into letting them taste test their new pastries in exchange for honest feedback. 

Ladybug turns to him, her arms shooting out to the side the same way Marinette’s do when she gets excited. “M. Dupain! Can you convince my idiot boyfriend that marmite frosting on fruit would be absolutely atrocious?! That it needs to be a marshmallow and cream cheese mixture!” 

Tom laughs with his whole belly. “You sound like my daughter. I do use a marshmallow-cream cheese mixture on many of my desserts, but I’ll also have you know the finest delicacies often come from unconventional experiments.” 

“What?! Traitor!” Ladybug squawks. 

Chat Noir bursts into laughter. 

“Anything else?”

“Would Marinette happen to be here today?” Chat asks.

Tom shakes his head. “Sorry to disappoint. I think she is out with friends at the moment.” 

Chat Noir literally wilts in place. Ladybug glances away before turning back to them again. 

“Maybe we’ll get lucky another day, Chaton. We’ll just have to keep trying.” 

…

“We’re going where?” Nino asks his girlfriend. He had to have heard her wrong. 

“To dinner, with Ladybug and Chat Noir,” she says again.

“Is this in an interview?” 

She laughs. “No, we’re just going over there for dinner as their friends.” 

Their friends?! Like sure, they are friends in the sense that they have stood back to back against hordes of akumas on more than one occasion. You can’t depend on each other in violent and life threatening situations and not come out the other side as friends. 

But they had never just hung out. They don’t really know each other, like, as people.

Which Nino is completely on board to change! Absolutely! One hundred and ten percent.

And he’s also super super intimidated by them. This isn’t just anyone. This is Ladybug and Chat Noir . 

“Wait. Wait. Where is there?” 

“Their apartment.” 

“They have an apartment?!” 

Ladybug and Chat Noir had an apartment. A really nice apartment on the top floor in the expensive part of downtown Paris. 

“Rena! Carapace!” It’s absolutely surreal to be called that while Nino’s wearing an ordinary blue graphic tee and his usual red hat. “We’re so glad you could make it!” Chat greets with a beaming smile and open arms like they’re old friends. 

Chat Noir’s arms clap around his back. 

“H-hey mec! How’s it going?” Nino stammers.

“Great! Great! Come in! Come in!” Chat enthusiastically herds them inside into the apartment.

The place is waaay too fancy with expensive rugs and antique furniture that do not match Ladybug or Chat Noir’s aesthetic in any way as far as Nino can tell. And yet, they both are super comfortable in the space as they give them the tour of the four bedroom flat. Alya’s jaw drops at the spacious kitchen with an entire wall of pantry cupboards, generous marble counter tops and an island with a stainless steel grill on one side. 

“Girl! You have to let me use this kitchen. My mom would be so jealous!” Alya exclaimed. 

Ladybug laughed. “Let’s do it!” 

They have family pictures of the two of them on every wall, just like his nana. Like, they live here. 

He frowns. How old are they? He had always assumed they were about the same age as him. 

Twenty minutes later, Nino is more confident than ever that he’s fallen into some kind of twilight zone. He’s sitting across a polished mahogany dining room table from Ladybug and a baby doll that is sitting in a high chair. An actual doll with a mop of dark hair and plastic eyes that stare blankly into space. Nino wants to ask, but Alya hasn’t said anything, and he always follows her lead. So he ignores the doll. 

Ladybug pours sparkling water into crystal flutes that are so nice that if Nino hawked them he could probably pay for his parents’ rent for two months. She and Alya chatter about potential future dishes they might try making in the ridiculously nice ladynoir kitchen. 

Chat Noir brings out a quiche lorraine that he apparently made completely by himself and is quickly cutting it into pieces to serve to each of them on porcelain plates. He even cuts an incredibly thin slice that he places in front of the doll.

“This is delicious, Chat Noir!” Alya says. “Ladybug says you’ve improved a lot in a short time. I never would have known you were a beginning chef from this!”

“Thanks, Rena!” 

Alya elbows Nino, and he startles into better posture, glancing between the two heroes who are both looking at him expectantly.

Nino hesitates for only a moment before he takes a bite. 

“Do you like it?” Chat asks eagerly.

“It’s great!” He takes another bite to avoid having to elaborate. Not that it isn’t good! It is! But Nino doesn’t know how to talk about food in any kind of classy way. Not like Alya. 

But apparently it doesn’t matter because Chat Noir beams like Nino had just told him he won a national cooking championship.

Alya shakes her head in what he knows is fond exasperation. 

Conversation flows between the other three like they really are just old friends, and Nino doesn’t know what to do with himself, still worried about using the wrong fork, which is ridiculous because there’s only one, but isn’t that a wealthy person thing? Nino feels like he should know with Adrien as his best friend, but he had been banned from the Agreste mansion so early in their friendship he hasn’t had any practice. 

After dinner, Chat Noir continues to share things about the apartment. Little things he’s done to make it a more comfortable space. Talks about what Ladybug has been teaching him in the kitchen with so much excitement and pride. 

Ladybug and Alya get along like they’re life long friends. And Chat Noir is being insanely friendly specifically to him, the guy who thought Chat Noir had tried to steal his girlfriend. 

Like an idiot.

“Mec, can I ask you a question?” 

Chat Noir beams at him. “What’s up?” 

“Why are you being so nice? Why are you sharing all this with me? ” 

“Well, apparently Ladybug and I cannot learn each other’s identities. That means I can’t bring her into my civilian life. I can’t introduce her to my friends or anyone. And it’s been driving me crazy!” 

Nino tries to imagine not being able to talk about Alya with his family or with Adrien. He doesn’t think he would be able to do it. 

“That sounds really hard.” 

Chat nods. “So I guess I want to share this part of my life with the people that I can.” Chat shoulder bumps him. “And you are my friend, right?” 

Chat bites his lower lip, like Nino’s potential answer could wreck him.

Which is wild . 

“Yes!” Nino blurts. “As long as you see me that way. I know I wasn’t exactly–” 

Chat puts a hand on his shoulder and offers a disarming smile. “It’s fine. Promise.” 

Nino smiles back, feeling the last of his nerves fade. “What’s with the creepy doll?” Nino asks without thinking.

Chat bristles like an angry cat. “She’s not creepy!”

Nino throws his hands up in surrender.

Chat relaxes. “Her name is Emma. She… she was our daughter in our dream.”

“D-daughter?!” Nino echoes. “Wait! Dream?! Back up, mec! I’m so lost.” But he suddenly wanted to understand. 

Chat smiles softly. “There was an akuma with the power of jubilation. Ladybug and I got hit together. We were trapped in a dream together that showed us the future we both wanted. We lived years together. And then, we had to wake up.”

“Fuck, mec.”

“Yeah.”  

…

The camera shot over Ladybug and Chat Noir sitting side by side on a rooftop, eating ice cream, probably from Andre’s Ice Cream Stand if Gabriel had to guess. 

“Ladybug and Chat Noir have announced that they’re going to renew their wedding vows later early this fall,” the voice of Nadia Chamack announces. “They plan to invite all former akuma victims. I for one am delighted to honor their relationship that has always resulted in the teamwork that has kept all of us safe from Monarch.” 

Gabriel scowls at the screen as the report continues. 

It was especially grating how often the two heroes were about, and how seamless their teamwork had become against his akumas since they had come together romantically. 

“They’re not even old enough to be married,” he grumbles. 

“You don’t know that,” Daizzi insists from her glass cage.  

“They’re on timers!” Gabriel snaps back. 

“They can’t get married legally without revealing their names anyway.” Perhaps they would get married as their civilian selves. He should have Nathalie look into all marriages a month before and after the event and see if she could find any suspects. 

“They can get married in their hearts!” Daizzi coos with her front paws clasped together and her head cocked to the side. “They deserve that much happiness!” 

“Silence!” Gabriel roars. He doesn’t care about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s happiness, but they were foolish to announce their wedding date to all of Paris. He will be able to use the event to corner them once and for all. 

…

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

Flash Fiction Friday - Among Any Option

Thanks for the prompt @flashfictionfridayofficial!

The City is Ours plot/character/dynamic exploration for Book 1, with the team in the first book trying to track down the villains while crowded together in a diner booth. Not a lot of options for them folks!

“How long can it possibly take to hack into something?” Jason asked, “You’re using a computer.”

“Computers can only do what you tell them to,” Chase said, not looking up from his computer. They took a swig of his Monzter energy drink. “But you wouldn’t know that, considering you’ve never lifted a finger in your life.”

Jason squinted, and shrugged. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Everyone else shared a knowing glance, only leaving the rich boy confused.

They were all squeezed into a booth at Minnie’s Diner, a couple of them (mainly Chase and his tech set up) were spilling over onto a second table they’d dragged over.

Everyone had ordered a milkshake or fries, except for Jason who apparently wasn’t hungry for ‘common’ food.

Asher said, “How are you tracking them?”

“First of all, it hasn’t worked yet,” Chase said, his french fries growing cold. “Second, two of those weirdos don’t even use tech, and I’m not even going to touch the alien shit. But that mad scientist guy- what’d he call himself? Cyanide?- He does use modern tech.”

He slurped down some of his milkshake, munched on a few fries, and washed it down with the energy drink. “So, I’m combing through all the tech and software in the city that I can access from here, looking for his footpr- Oh perfect, found him…”

He leaned into his screen curiously. “Huh. Why there?” They muttered to himself.

“What?” Kylee asked, trying to see his screen as she leaned over to his seat, “Where is it?”

“Ah-ah-” Chase snapped, moving his computer so she couldn’t see. “I can’t work if I’m being watched, thank you.” He waved her off, and she rolled her eyes.

Nickelle said, “Care to share what you found, Chase?”

“The old nuclear power plant outside the city,” Chase said, “That’s where this guy’s footprint is showing up.”

“It would be dangerous for humans to go into the power plant though, right?”

“Not anymore, since the meltdown at the power plant happened 50 years ago. All the radiation would either be gone, or very small. So if we’re only in there for a bit, we’ll be fine.”

Asher nodded. “Only question is-”

Alarms started blaring as everyone’s phones went off, and the diner TV flashed with a city wide threat warning, showing video footage of the street just a few blocks away from the diner.

“Nevermind, we don’t need to go to the power plant,” Chase said as he quickly started packing up, “They found us.”

Everyone jumped up and started chugging their milkshakes and wolfing down fries. The whole group almost ended up in a pile as they tripped over each other to climb out the booth and find a secluded place to change into superhero gear- some opted for the bathroom, others ducked out into the alley hoping the dumpsters would hide them.

Chase’s gear was mostly armor that he wore over his clothes like a shell, so he was done first (after Kylee of course, since she used her superspeed to change). He leaned against the side of the building, watching the live news on his phone while he waited for the others.

Kylee sighed, signing sharply with her hands, “What is taking them so long?”

“Not all of us have superspeed,” Chase said, “They haven’t quite reached this block anyway, it’s fine.”

The others came out the back door of the diner in their superhero gear one by one.

“Took you long enough,” Chase said, and Kylee smacked their shoulder, giving him a look. He rolled his eyes, closing the helmet over his face. “Showtime.”

The team raced out into the street, as Black Hole and his cronies were tearing up the streets while civilians ran for cover.

V said quietly, “That’s a lot.”

The others could barely hear her, but they were all thinking similar thoughts along those lines.

[coochiequeens]

Once you get past the Batman researcher part it's a good article about censorship in schools and the pushback against gender ideology as led back to don’t say gay.

In this undated photo provided by Rebecca Hale, Marc Tyler Nobleman poses for a portrait. The author's clash with a Georgia school district over a mention of someone's homosexuality in a presentation highlights the reach of conservatives' push for what what they call parents' rights. Nobleman at first complied with a request not to mention that the son of Batman's co-creator was gay but then rebelled. He and LGBTQ+ advocates say the Forsyth County district in suburban Atlanta was wrong. The district says schools shouldn't engage in such discussions without parents knowing in advance. (Rebecca Hale via AP)

ATLANTA (AP) — Marc Tyler Nobleman was supposed to talk to kids about the secret co-creator of Batman, with the aim of inspiring young students in suburban Atlanta's Forsyth County to research and write.

Then the school district told him he had to cut a key point from his presentation — that the artist he helped rescue from obscurity had a gay son. Rather than acquiesce, he canceled the last of his talks.

“We’re long past the point where we should be policing people talking about who they love,” Nobleman said in a telephone interview. “And that’s what I’m hoping will happen in this community.”

State laws restricting talk of sexual orientation and gender identity in schools have proliferated in recent years, but the clash with Nobleman shows schools may be limiting such discussions even in states like Georgia that haven’t officially banned them. Some proponents of broader laws giving parents more control over schools argue they extend to discussion of sex and gender even if the statutes don’t explicitly cover them.

Eleven states ban discussion of LGBTQ+ people in at least some public schools in what are often called “Don’t say gay” laws, according to the Movement Advancement Project, an LGBTQ+ rights think tank. Five additional states require parental consent for discussion, according to the project.

Legislation restricting LGBTQ+ rights gained steam this year, but suppression is not new. A school district in New Jersey, which requires curriculums to be LGBTQ-inclusive, tried to bar a valedictorian from discussing his queer identity during a graduation speech in 2021. That year, a federal judge ordered an Indiana district to give the same privileges to a gay-straight alliance as to other extracurricular groups. Two years later, Indiana passed a law banning discussion of LGBTQ+ people in grades K-3.

Schools nationwide have been challenged on books with LGBTQ+ themes or characters, and many have removed them, including Forsyth County, which has been a battleground in the politics of schooling.

LGBTQ+ advocates say Nobleman bumped up against a moral panic fomented by conservatives seeking to roll back acceptance.

“The idea that these folks are saying that they just don’t want to talk about it at all is very disingenuous,” said Cathryn Oakley, a lawyer for the Human Rights Campaign, a leading advocacy group. “What they mean is they don’t want views other than theirs to be expressed. And they believe that that means everyone should have to hear what they believe.”

Discussion of straight people with traditional gender identities is everywhere, she said, and if all discussion of sexuality is going to be banned, Oakley said, “then you certainly better not be teaching ‘Romeo and Juliet.’"

Nobleman, a self-described “superhero geek" who lives in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., is best known as the author of “Bill the Boy Wonder: The Secret Co-creator of Batman." It lays out the story of Bill Finger, the long-uncredited author who helped create Batman and other comic book characters.

Finger died in obscurity in 1974, with artist Bob Kane credited as Batman’s only creator. Finger’s only child was a son, Fred Finger, who was gay and died in 1992 at age 43 of AIDS complications. Bill Finger was presumed to have no living heirs, meaning there was no one to press DC Comics to acknowledge Finger's work.

But Nobleman discovered Fred Finger had a daughter, Athena Finger. That, he said, is a showcase moment of the presentation he estimates he has given 1,000 times at schools.

“It’s the biggest twist of the story, and it’s usually when I get the most gasps," Nobleman said. “It's just a totally record-scratch moment.”

Nobleman’s research helped push DC Comics into reaching a deal with Athena Finger in 2015 to acknowledge her grandfather and Kane as co-creators. That led to the documentary “Batman & Bill,” featuring Nobleman.

In Forsyth County, the author gave his first presentations at Sharon Elementary on Aug. 21. After Nobleman mentioned in his first talk that Fred Finger was gay, the principal handed him a note during his second talk that said, “Please only share the appropriate parts of the story for our elementary students.”

Forsyth County schools spokesperson Jennifer Caracciolo said that just mentioning Fred Finger was gay isn't the problem. But she said it led to questions from students, meaning Nobleman and students might discuss sexuality without parents being warned.

In the past three years, conservatives in the 54,000-student district have tried to tamp down diversity policies and sexually explicit books they view as immoral.

The district was sued by a conservative group called the Mama Bears after banning a member of that group from reading explicit book excerpts at meetings. A federal judge ruled the policy unconstitutional.

The district was also warned by the U.S. Department of Education after pulling some books from libraries, with federal officials saying the discourse may have created a hostile environment that violated federal laws against race and sex discrimination.

Nobleman’s discussion of sexual orientation has nothing to do with the state English language arts learning standards his presentation was supposed to bolster, Caracciolo said.

“We have a responsibility to parents and to guardians that they will know what students are learning in school,” Caracciolo said.

Nobleman said he was blindsided and agreed to drop the reference to Fred Finger's sexual orientation in remaining presentations that day, as well as in three at another school the next day. But by the morning of the third day, Nobleman started fielding questions from reporters after the principal at Sharon Elementary sent an electronic message to parents apologizing for the mention of Fred Finger's homosexuality.

“This is not subject matter that we were aware that he was including nor content that we have approved for our students," Principal Brian Nelson wrote. “I apologize that this took place. Action was taken to ensure that this was not included in Mr. Nobleman's subsequent speeches and further measures will be taken to prevent situations like this in the future.”

And so, on the third day he was presenting, after a discussion with district officials, Nobleman refused to give the last two of his scheduled presentations if required to omit Finger's sexual orientation.

Many parents have applauded Forsyth County's actions, Caracciolo said. Cindy Martin, chair of the Mama Bears, said Nobleman should be “ashamed of himself."

She argues that a 2022 Georgia law bans discussion of sexuality without parental consent for any minor because it gives parents “the right to direct the upbringing and the moral or religious training” of their children.

“No one has the right to talk to a child about sexuality unless it’s the parent, or the parent has given permission," Martin said. "Mr. Nobleman did not have permission. So he went against Georgia law.”

Matt Maguire, a Sharon Elementary parent who had a daughter who attended one of Nobleman's presentations, said he was disappointed by the message and felt the school district was being bullied by Martin and others into “reactionary” censorship.

The mere mention of the word “gay” didn't merit claims made online by critics that Nobleman was “ grooming or sexualizing children," he said, and it ignored that some Sharon Elementary students have gay parents.

“It didn't sit right with me. It made me feel like certain parts of our community were being kept as a dirty secret,” Maguire said. “I couldn't imagine coming from a family with gay members and reading that apology just for saying the word ‘gay.’”

[eleiker-writes]

“Press Tour” Chpt. 1, Pt. 1

Word count: 2,670

1 — Studio City, Ca.

Will is late, as usual.

I quickly grew accustomed to waiting anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes post call time for him on set, a production assistant having to run between his trailer, the hair and makeup trailer, or to whatever dive bar was closest the day we were filming to track him down.

The habit less annoyed me than it did put me on edge. He has the reputation and power to be looser, more carefree. I do not.

I wiggle the edge of my finger tip under the tab on my can of soda, careful not to use the nails I just had manicured a subtle pink as a holdover until the press tour starts. The top pops open with a fizz and I lift the can to my lips, taking a swig I know my mother would call unladylike.

Across the table from me, Kendall, Will’s newest manager, taps her pen anxiously against the open page of her planner, her eyes flitting to the watch on her opposite wrist.

Marissa, my own manager, hadn’t told me specifics of why we’d been called in to meet with the Warner Brothers marketing department three weeks before our limited tour was slated to begin, but she’d stressed the importance of me being there as if she thought I wouldn’t.

To be clear, I’d never not shown up somewhere Marissa told me to be.

The Warner Brothers CEO of marketing, the marketing team lead for the movie and a couple assistants sit down the table from us.

All four are still tapping away at their laptops. I take another sip of my drink.

When one of the assistants, a redhead who is likely my own age, or maybe a year younger, looks up, I shoot her a smile. She begins to smile back when a phone cuts the silence in the room.

It’s 12 minutes past 1 p.m.

“We’re just waiting on Will, sir,” the CEO of marketing says into the phone pressed against her ear. She’s probably in her mid-50s, and her long, dark, wavy hair contrasts her sharp features, now pinched as she listened to whoever is on the other end of the line.

“Kendall, do you know how long he’s going to —“

I notice Kendall is looking past me over my shoulder the same time everyone else in the room does.

Just outside the glass conference room, Will is strutting down the hallway, popping his head into doors, a wide grin plastered on his face. I’m not surprised that he either knows everyone here or is just cocky enough to know they’ll all want to say hi to him anyway.

Will Carter is going on his 12th straight year of being Hollywood’s hottest womanizer.

He’d broken out at just 21, playing Romeo Capulet under the direction of Luca Guadagnino just as Shakespeare started to take off again. Many said Will’s portrayal was better than Leo’s, that he balanced Romeo’s inherent shyness with his elating love for Juliet more aptly, but the styles of the films themselves were too different for me to feel there was a fair comparison.

Since then, he’d played every type of role an actor could want: brooding secret agent, sardonic superhero, love-lorn soldier, dumb jock.

He’d had every type of woman, too.

“He’s about to come in,” I hear the marketing CEO saying, though my eyes are still locked on Will through the glass. “Yes, we’ll get you phoned in to the entire room.”

I turn back toward the table just as Will reaches the door to the conference room and push my can to the side, the condensation spreading on the table in its wake.

“Hey, folks, how we all doing today?”

You can hear the charm in Will’s voice. Any amount of frustration percolating in the room in the now 13 minutes since our meeting was supposed to start begins dripping away.

“Jo, good to see you,” Will nods at me, his graham cracker eyes locking with mine.

I nod back, but he’s already moved on to Kendall, who he apologizes to profusely and then down to shake the hands of the Warner Brothers bunch.

“We appreciate you coming in, Mr. Carter. I know this isn’t typical to have talent sit in on marketing affairs, but we have a big idea that we’re going to need both of your cooperation on. Well, actually, Mr. Switzer, our company president has a big idea.” One of the assistants clicks a button on the telecom device in the center of the table. “Tom, you’re on the line.”

My brows pull together, a habit the new facialist my agent set me up with has been threatening to permanently fix with botox.

“Mr. Carter, Ms. Jasper, how are you both?” Tom’s voice booms out of the speaker.

“I’m well, thank you.”

“Doing great, Tom. How are the kids?” Will inquires as he sits down in the chair across from mine, next to Kendall.

He takes the hat he’d been wearing backwards off and sets it on the table in front of him, sweeping a hand through his amber hair. He has a crisp, plain white T-shirt on and a pair of vintage Levi’s, the outfit I saw him most in on set whenever we weren’t in costumes.

“They’re spectacular, Will. Thanks for asking. You know, this is a great segue – and I love a good segue – because I gave Sophia the poster for your guys’ movie. The one with the two of ya sitting on the park bench. She put it up on her wall immediately, and you know what she asked me?”

I glance over at Marissa, who notices my attempt at eye contact but doesn’t meet it. My stomach gurgles. I need to burp.

Tom barrels on without anyone hazarding a guess at his question.

“She asked me, ‘Dad, are Will and Johanna dating in real life? Like Josh McGuire and Charlie Patterson?’ Well that caught my ear. She’s only 12, not quite the target audience for the movie itself, but I said, ‘Would it make a difference if they were?’ It was like I took a wrecking ball to the Hoover Dam. She talked my ear off for about 20 minutes. ‘Of course it would make a difference, dad!’”

Tom laughs. My need to burp has turned into a need to be sick.

I look over at Will. His smile hasn’t faded entirely – I’m not sure it ever does – but he’s scratching at the 5 o’clock shadow that’s grown in on his chin.

“Sorry, Tom, I’m not really sure I know what you’re getting at,” Will says. “Jo and I, we aren’t –“

“We want you to fake date on the press tour,” the marketing lead for the movie cuts in.

Well, Will’s smile is gone now.

“That’s the term!” Tom interjects. “Thank you, Ebony, I knew you had told me it before but I couldn’t remember. Fake dating. Guess it’s pretty straight forward, huh?”

If Tom’s expecting any sort of response, he doesn’t get one. Will is frowning, and the Warner Brothers people are avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room but each other. I turn the ring on my index finger incessantly, trying to figure out a way to shut this down.

“I’m going to let you folks all work out the finer details. I just wanted to give you the backstory. I know you actors love a good backstory. I’ll see you both at the LA premiere. Bye for now.”

Tom’s line drops to static, and one of the assistants clicks it off again.

“I don’t know that this is the best idea,” I say.

I’m surprised the words leave my mouth, and Will clearly is, too, though he backs me up immediately: “I’m with Jo. No one’s even going to buy it anyway.”

“They might not buy it at first,” Ebony counters, “but your on-screen chemistry was one of the parts of the movie that rated highest in test screenings. You can make it happen again.”

“We were playing parts, it’s not the same when we’re just ourselves,” I argue. “I can’t pretend to date someone.”

All of a sudden, the urge to be sick overwhelms me and I stand, running to exit the conference room and enter the bathroom I saw right around the corner when I came in. I push the handle all the way up on the sink and hold my wrists under the cold water.

Marissa is quick on my heels.

“Jo? Are you okay?”

I try not to sound angry as I interrogate her. “Did you know? Why didn’t you tell me? Why do we not get a say?”

Marissa pulls a handful of brown paper towels out of the dispenser and places them next to the sink for me like a peace offering.

“I only found out yesterday when Kevin gave me the meeting to add to your agenda. I did try to push back but he said that wasn’t an option since it was coming directly from Switzer himself.”

Kevin is my agent, a younger guy but working at an established firm in Hollywood and whose father was one of the industry’s best before he died of a heart attack three years ago.

“I made Kevin promise you were going to be given some say in the specifics, and he said he’d already made sure they weren’t going to ask you for anything that would make you too uncomfortable when they sent over the first proposal,” Marissa continues. “No sex tapes or anything like that.”

Marissa must see the blood dropping out of my face because she hastily adds, “That was a joke!”

I finally turn off the tap and begin to pat my hands and wrists dry. In the mirror, I see that water has splashed on to the front of my ivory-colored linen dress. I sigh.

“I really don’t know if I can do it.”

“Because of Brian?”

I dip my chin, just a little, and nod.

Marissa takes both my hands in hers. “We’ll figure it out as we go. Make it as painless as possible for everyone. And Kevin and I and Will’s team worked out some things with the studio, extra perks, let’s say.”

After another moment, Marissa backs away and opens the door for me. I lead the way out and back into the conference room, smoothing my dress as I do and hoping the warmth of my hands somehow magically dries the water marks.

“Sorry about that, everyone,” I say softly when I re-enter the room.

I might be imagining it, but when Will glances over at me across the table, his look seems to ask if I’m okay. I offer a faint smile, and he looks back toward a packet of papers he’s now holding in his hand.

Marissa slides an identical one in front of me.

“No worries, Ms. Carter. We know this is a big ask of both of you,” Ebony says. “Jenn’s going to go over a few of the bigger details and then we can answer any questions.”

Ebony and the marketing CEO walk us through the multi-page plan.

The biggest thing is they’re adding five cities to the tour. Originally we were only going to have stops in London, New York City and here in LA, with the first and last each having its own premiere. Now we’re starting in Mexico City, hitting Paris while we’re in Europe, going to Toronto between our U.S. dates and then flying to Tokyo and Sydney.

The additions mean we’re leaving 10 days earlier than planned, which is a week from now. And because they want the rumors to start swirling before we actually get on tour, they’re asking us to spend a night out together here. No need to tip off papparazzi, Ebony said, they all follow Will anyway.

They don’t want us to come out and say we’re dating, as that would apparently take away the fun for the fans. I guess I can understand, though I enjoyed plenty knowing Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were dating during their Spider-Man run.

There should be lots of Will’s hands on my back, my hip, my knee – wherever I’m comfortable. Helping fix my hair at photo calls and on carpets. I’m supposed to make sure I laugh at anything he says that could be remotely funny. When reporters undoubtedly ask our relationship status, we’re supposed to share “knowing glances” – that was literally the phrase written on the paper — and deny, deny, deny. But playfully. And not too vehemently.

I feel like I should have been taking notes, but I’ve been using my now-empty soda can like a stress ball instead.

Just as Ebony starts to explain how in one of the later cities, probably New York or Toronto, we’re supposed to make it look like one of us has spent the night in the hotel room of the other, my fingers tighten around the can a bit too much, and instead of the persistent but quiet popping it’d been doing under my grip, it folds with a loud crunch.

Ebony stops mid-sentence. I’m about to apologize when Will cuts me off.

“So what’s in it for us?” he asks. “Not to speak for both of us, Jo, but this is a big ask. We have personal lives. This isn’t just going to stop when the movie leaves theaters. It could follow us forever.”

God, I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.

“You’re right, Mr. Carter,” Ebony says. “And we do have a plan for how to rollout an amicable breakup a month to two after the initial reaction to the movie wears off.

“As for what’s in it for you, it’s two-fold. First, we think it will be reputationally beneficial. This is set to be Johanna’s biggest release of her career so far. It’s a way to open up the audience on the movie, get more eyes on both the movie and her. And for you, Will, your team told us you’re looking to drop the playboy image. If we all play the cards right here, this should help with that.”

I bring my hand to my face both to wipe the sweat off my upper lip and to make sure my mouth isn’t hanging open in shock. Will trying to drop his playboy act is news to me.

“Second, Mr. Switzer has agreed we’ll pay each of you an 8% share of the movie’s box office profits. You both should thank your agents; they talked Mr. Switzer into the extra 3%. We hope that satisfies you both.”

A profit share is near unheard of for anyone who hasn’t been in the industry for at least 30 years or hasn’t been a part of several billion-dollar box offices. We were already payed well for this, too, and Will likely more than me.

Will looks at me from across the table. “What do you think, Jo?”

I glance over at Marissa, who offers me a smile and a small nod.

I’m still not entirely sold. I have doubts about how easy it will be to convince people, and whether it will actually be as much of a boost to either of our reputations when we end up “breaking up” two months after the tour anyway. I’m worried about Will keeping up the act as we travel the world with women of all ages ogling him at every stop, and how much of a fool I’ll look like if he can’t.

I know it will undoubtedly raze any chance of getting back with Brian, who will see this as his worst fear come true and won’t be able to believe me when I tell him it’s fake, even if he wants to.

But while I’ve grown more comfortable speaking up for and protecting myself in my career, in part thanks to this project, saying no to this could damage my relationship with the studio.

“I’m in if you are, Will.”

[winderlylandchime]

I have a question for you that might be a bit too much but I was watching QAF and started asking myself the same thing and I remember that I really liked reading your Brian Kinney post or something similar that was very interesting so I figured I’d ask you too. What are your favorite and least favorite things about the characters from QAF? Not just Britin but like all of them. Because all of them are perfect in their own way but also flawed so I was wondering what someone else might pick :)

Hello dear sweet anon!

Thank you for this ask, I love these types of questions (as everyone now knows, lol).

As you said, and I think it’s worth repeating, these characters all have good qualities and bad qualities and that is so real. None of us is perfect and all of us have bad qualities. I think that is what made this show so compelling (and why we’re all still so obsessed 20 years later). These characters were real (even if the situations they were in - take down a corrupt politician?! - were sometimes not the most realistic) and we could relate to all of them in some way.

The Characters of Queer as Folk…

Michael Novotny

Good - he is clearly a person who cares a lot about the people he loves - his mother, his friends, his uncle, his partner. He is a fandom guy. Here we all are talking about a show that was on the air 20 years ago, and this guy is obsessed with Captain Astro and other superheroes. He is one of us.

Bad - he has an idea of who people are that is very fixed and therefore when he wants the best for the people he loves, it is sometimes not based in who they are as a person in the here and now. Brian doesn’t do love or boyfriends, therefore he can never do love or boyfriends. This is very relatable, so many of us have trouble updating our idea of who someone is over the course of a long term relationship (platonic or romantic). He tends towards very codependent relationships. Also, go back and watch the beginning of his relationship with Ben. I’m not talking about breaking up early in their relationship about his serostatus, I’m talking about after they reunite and Debbie disapproves and Michael makes all these (very good) points about dating Ben but he does it… in front of Ben. CRINGE. AWKWARD. I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO ME.

Ted Schmidt

Good - he is intelligent and kind, he has a biting sense of humor, he is loyal.

Bad - he has the world’s lowest self-confidence. Rather than just own his love of accounting and opera, he is ashamed of it. He has remarkable growth in this respect over the course of the series and I would argue he is the character that grows the most (and whose growth is not erased by the end of the series).

Emmett Honeycutt

Good - oh my god I love him so much. He is a femme queen and he lets his flame burn bright. He is kind and funny and can take a joke and dish it right back.

Bad - oof this one is hard because I do love him so much. I think he tends to want to shy away from the darkness and as a result when a loved one is going through a dark time (ahem Ted), he struggles to be able to help much beyond something surface level. His understanding of substance abuse disorders could be improved. Also, the party he plans for Ben’s birthday is full cringe racist.

Debbie Novotny

Good - she is fiercely protective and an ally to the gay boys of Liberty Avenue. She does not back down from a challenge. She has had to be strong as a young single mother and she did a good job with what she had to work with.

Bad - as a young single mother she and her son have a codependent relationship and this models that type of relationship for her son to develop with other people. Her protectiveness knows no loyalty, except to her son. Her “adoptive son” Brian gets the short end of the stick when his needs are in conflict with her son’s. Which makes sense, but then don’t pretend to be a mother to Brian. She thinks she knows better than people about what is good for them and what they need and this sometimes extends beyond advice giving (telling Brian to tell Justin he loves him after zucchini man) to taking action (as @kinnenvy rightly points out - telling Joan that Brian has cancer). Ma’am, you do not do that. Also, she uses the word fag (which I have no problem with queer people reclaiming but she is… not actually queer) and dates a cop, so she loses major ally points in my book.

Ben Bruckner

Good - he is very good looking. He is smart and driven. He brings an alternative perspective to the group. He honors who Michael is and allows him to let his fandom freak flag fly (we should all have partners and friends who do this, btw).

Bad - toxic positivity thy name is Ben Bruckner. Why does Ben have a flirtation with steroids? Because his “look on the bright side, glass half full, be positive” mentality does not allow for any negativity. And life has negativity in it. We need to acknowledge it and not push it away in order to deal with it. His understanding of Buddhism is incomplete and lacking (from my own study of Buddhism). Also, he is really freaking boring.

Melanie Marcus

Good - she is smart, she knows who she is as a Jewish dyke, and she is unapologetic. She is apparently a lawyer who specializes in everything from civil rights to custody to entrapment/indecent exposure (whatever Vic was charged with). She is able to change her mind (about getting married, etc.)

Bad - she cheats on her partner and then when her partner cheats on her she decides it’s different because biphobia. She is jealous of Brian and this warps her image of him. She is stubborn.

Lindsay Peterson

Good - she is kind and she loves fiercely. I like her relationship with Justin and the way she mentors him.

Bad - oof. I cannot scream enough about her decision to have Brian father Gus. First of all, her partner is jealous/doesn’t like him. I don’t know what type of long term relationships you’ve had, anon, but this is not how you treat your partner. Yes, she’s the one carrying the fetus but her partner should get veto power over the sperm donor (or father… more on that in a second). I cannot even imagine doing that to my spouse. We even had a brief moment of insanity where we contemplated having a kid so that isn’t something so difficult to imagine. Like, how do you do that? Then that brings me to her relationship with Brian. Maybe Lindsay is bisexual but can’t acknowledge because of biphobia (from the writers first and foremost, like I know biphobia was super acceptable in the early 2000s but c’mon, do better!), but having a crush on someone who will never love you back is something to work out in therapy. It’s not something to allow to go unchecked and wreck your relationship with your partner. Her crush, I would say, is worse than Michael’s because it’s almost like she doubts Brian when he says he is not interested in women. (Let’s reverse the situation and imagine a man constantly flirting with a lesbian and telling her how he imagined they would wind up together and how gross and boundary crossing that would seem.) Also, she has him in this box (Peter Pan) and again, refuses to acknowledge that he might grow and change. She gives him mixed messages - you need to grow and be a good partner to Justin but also this isn’t you and you need to remain you. Another mixed message? Oh you’ll just be the sperm donor, make a cameo appearance, etc. but then “You need to spend time with your son.” Obviously, people raise kids in all types of relationship configurations. But from my understanding, Brian was going to donate the sperm and Lindsay and Melanie would be the parents. So is he the sperm donor or is he the father? Both Brian and Melanie would like to know.

[keepingupwiththecullensblog]

🌟🚗 Welcome back to “Keeping Up with the Cullens,” where today we’re diving deep into the infamous make-out session by Emmett’s Jeep, Edward’s epic self-dazzle moment, and his surprisingly human behavior—probably for the first time in a century! Trust me, this is a scene worth talking about that I haven’t seen anyone doing! 🧛‍♂️💋 Honestly, I love it because it shows that even sparkly vampires can have teenage meltdowns. 😂✨

We’re all used to seeing kisses from Bella’s perspective, but viewing this particular kiss through Edward’s eyes is like watching a teen romance collide with a vampire action flick. 🎥💕 Edward’s inner monologue is hilarious. He’s trying to play it smooth, whispering sweet nothings and kissing Bella’s collarbone like he’s the star of a Nicholas Sparks novel. 📖💞 But when their lips finally meet, it’s a full-blown hormonal teenage frenzy. 🚀 His brain goes from “I must protect her” to “OMG KISS HER MORE” in seconds. It’s like The Bodyguard with vampires, with 100% more sparkling angst. 🎶💔

His past monologues were so packed with vampire angst, but now his monologues are getting more sappy all the time. 💔 This time, though, it’s all about his genuine teenage boy feelings, like wanting skin-to-skin contact and all that jazz. “The craving for more, for skin against skin, was a constant temptation, a reminder of what I could never fully have.” Edward, welcome to the human experience! It’s messy, but hey, at least you’re acting like a regular teenage guy now! 🙃🎥 You might want to start a vlog: “Teen Vampire Diaries: The Struggles of Dating a Fragile Human.” 🙃🎥

Speaking of hormones, it makes me wonder if Carlisle or Esme ever gave him “the birds and bees” talk because he definitely needs one now. 🐦🐝 Oh, wait, he’s probably taken health class 100 times by now, so why is he so surprised by his own hormones? Maybe he skips class to hunt on those particular days. 🏹 But doesn’t he have tons of medical degrees like his dad? Carlisle, please talk to your son before he knocks Bella up… wait… he does just that the following August. Dude, protection! I guess he’s a typical guy leaving that duty up to us girls. Looks like even vampires aren’t immune to the classic teenage pregnancy trope! 🍼😅👶

So, here’s the scoop: Edward decides it’s time to up his game and kiss Bella by Emmett’s Jeep. 🚗💋 But this isn’t just any kiss—it’s a carefully planned move to distract Bella from her reluctance to run with him to the baseball field. As they park by Emmett’s Jeep, Edward plots his dazzling move. ✨ Bella’s all nervous about running, hitting trees, and getting sick, and Edward’s like, “Let me dazzle that fear away!” 🌟 Edward, your strategies might be questionable, but your kissing tactics? Surprisingly on point! 💋👏

During this epic make-out moment, Edward’s internal monologue is pure comedy gold. 😂 He’s having a “self-dazzle” moment—yes, folks, he manages to dazzle himself, if you catch my drift! 😂 It would be like a teenager watching Blue Lagoon for the first time. Here’s the moment: “This new fire—a fire without pain, that ravaged only my ability to think—raged even hotter when her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her body bowed into mine. Her heat and her pulse were fused against my own form from chest to thigh. I was drowning in sensation.” 🔥💫 His “self-dazzle” moment is like that time Clark Kent discovered his heat vision in health class by staring at his substitute teacher. You know, just a regular day for a teenage superhero trying to control his powers—kind of like Edward navigating the choppy waters of teenage vampire romance. 😳🔥

This kiss is so intense that Mr. I-Have-Ice-In-My-Veins lets his inner teenage boy loose: “The kiss was soft at first, a gentle brush of lips that quickly turned into something more. I wanted her to remember this feeling more than anything else.” Suddenly, Edward realizes, “In that moment, I was more aware of my nature than ever, the fine line I walked between passion and danger.” It’s like watching a vampire having an existential crisis mid-kiss. 😂💎

And just like that, Edward tries to handle this like a cool, collected vampire, leaning in and using his super-vampire powers to make Bella forget how to breathe, only to end up being the one caught off guard! 🤯 It’s as if he forgot for a moment that he’s not just a lovestruck teen but also a supernatural creature with the strength to crush his first girlfriend with a hug. 💪 Yes, they’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend now—they even told Charlie. You can imagine his relief that Edward isn’t just another mystery guy creeping around Bella with a sparkly secret. Right now, Charlie is probably singing “Cleaning This Gun” by Rodney Atkins while polishing his rifle, just a classic dad move to keep the sparkly teenage vampires in line. 😅🔫

Caught up in the kiss, Edward has to remind himself of the supernatural strength he’s using, realizing he must back off before things get too heated, like when someone speeds up during a yellow light and suddenly has to deal with the consequences. 🚦 He pulls away just in time, only to be slapped with a dose of reality: “Damn it, Bella, you’ll be the death of me!” Edward, you might want to ease up on the drama. This isn’t a soap opera—oh wait, it kind of is. 🤦‍♂️📺

But wait, that’s not the end of Edward coming off as a regular teenager. 🧛‍♂️ As the two run to the game, Bella, in true Bella fashion, ends up awkwardly sprawled on the ground, getting off Edward’s back. 🏃‍♀️ Her look of indignation has Edward in stitches, releasing the tension with laughter. 😂 As she tries to brush off the mud, Edward can’t help but laugh harder, snapping out of his own self-doubt and amusement again, just like a normal teenage boyfriend. Seriously, how many times will Bella fall off his back? If this keeps up, Edward might need to get her a helmet. 😆🪖

As they attempt to make their way to the game, Bella confidently marches off like she’s heading off to find Narnia without a map, only to end up facing the wrong direction. “Where are you going, Bella?” he chuckles, catching her by the waist. Pro tip: always let the vampire be your GPS. 🧭 Bella, convinced that Edward was mad earlier, isn’t amused by his laughter. Her eyes narrow into a glare that could melt vampire ice, arms crossed like Lucy ready to deliver one of her famous zingers. ❄️🧊 “Oh, so now it’s funny, huh? You’re the only one who gets to be mad?” she snaps, with all the indignation of someone who’s just discovered their significant other ate the last slice of pizza. 🍕 Edward, still chuckling, tries to explain, “No, no, I wasn’t mad at you, Bella! You just should have seen your face!” Bella rolls her eyes, throwing back his earlier dramatic line, “You’ll be the death of me, I swear.” 😂 It’s a classic I Love Lucy moment, with Bella playing the exasperated Lucy to Edward’s Ricky as they bicker and reconcile with a laugh. ❤️🧛‍♀️

As Bella regains her composure, Edward pulls her closer for the sitcom-style heartfelt moment. “I love you,” he confesses, “It’s a poor excuse for what I’m doing, but it’s still true.” Their brief, restrained kiss seals the deal, as Bella’s warmth and Edward’s protective instincts shine through the chaos of teenage emotions and vampire instincts. 💏💕

Finally, they head toward the clearing, where Edward tries to focus on the upcoming baseball game and not his body’s recent betrayal. Just another day in the life of a hundred-year-old teenage vampire, right? 🧛‍♂️⚾ Maybe next time, Edward, try dazzling yourself in your room before you go and make out with Bella. You know, a little practice session like an awkward teenager prepping for prom night, just without the pie. Okay, Edward? 🥧😜✨

This episode of “Keeping Up with the Cullens” is brought to you by Edward’s accidental self-dazzle and the eternal struggle to balance teenage hormones with vampire instincts. Stay tuned for more drama, passion, and hilarious supernatural mishaps! 😅🎬

[ironstrangle]

Kissing Sam Wilson #18 - Costume (SamBucky, 500 words)

@samsseptember prompt - Western AU | Cowboy

“This shouldn’t be hot,” Bucky managed, staring at Sam. “I should absolutely hate your stupid costume.”

“But you don’t,” Sam said, a mischievous look in his eyes. “You absolutely love it.” 

The costume in question was a complete cowboy suit. Sam looked ruggedly handsome, even though he should have looked like something out of Toy Story. The costume was meticulously detailed, and he had put a lot of effort into it. He had a tan vest with actual fringes on it - fringes. How the hell could Sam make something so ridiculous look so freakin’ sexy? A crisp white button-down shirt peeked out from underneath the vest, emphasizing his broad shoulders. His jeans were worn and faded, looking exactly like what a cowboy out of the old west would wear.

It was a dumb costume, sure, but Sam made it look perfect.

Bucky’s eyes traveled down to where he wore a pair of cowboy boots. Of course he did. Then there was the hat, a wide-brimmed hat. It was the goofiest of costumes, but Bucky’s body didn’t seem to mind.

“I can’t help my bad taste,” Bucky said, giving a slight shake of his head. “I also can’t help that you’re freakin’ gorgeous, even in the ugliest outfit I’ve ever seen.”

The truth was that, although it was goofy, it was far from ugly. 

With a sly grin, Sam caught his eyes and tipped his hat. 

“Can’t help my charm,” he said winking. “Us cow-folks know what boys like.”

“Cow folks.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and then took Sam by the hand. 

“So, we’re at this party. Now what?”

“Well, let’s dance,” Sam said, giving the worst Southern accent that Bucky had ever heard in his life. Which was hilarious, given that he’d spent most of his youth in the American South.  “And gee-golly, I wanted to get a costume on you.”

“Do I really need a costume?”

“I thought you wanted to join the fun,” he said with a hint of mocking. 

Bucky shrugged, still grinning, and retorted.

“I guess I’m not as adventurous as you, partner,” he said, emphasizing the term. “If I dressed up too fancy, then I would steal your spotlight.”

“You steal the spotlight just by being here,” Sam said with a grin. “You could have dressed up as a superhero.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Sounds like a plan, cowboy, but I’d rather you be the star of the show.” 

Dancing was never exactly easy for Bucky, although as far as 1940s standards went, he wasn’t bad. He knew how to sweep a girl off her feet back then. Maybe his skills weren’t up to modern standards, but he got by. He swept the cowboy off of his feet and pulled him into his arms and it felt just right.

“Perfect.”

When he kissed Sam, he didn’t mind the costume at all.

[smartcarediagnostics]

Understanding Seizures: Types, Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

Understanding Seizures: Types, Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

Hey there! Let’s dive into the world of seizures. Seizures are these unexpected, zappy bursts of electrical activity in the brain that can make life a little tricky. But don’t worry; we’re here to shed some light on them. So buckle up!

Types of Seizures

Generalized Seizures

Imagine your brain throwing a party, and everyone’s invited! Generalized seizures involve both sides of your brain and might make you zone out or do some funky moves involuntarily.

Focal Seizures

Now, these are a bit more intimate. Focal seizures are like a small gathering in one corner of your brain. They can make you experience strange sensations or even make you act out in unusual ways.

Causes of Seizures

What’s causing all this commotion, you ask? Well, there are a few troublemakers:

Epilepsy: Think of it as your brain’s way of being a little rebellious and throwing parties without invitations.

Brain injury or trauma: Sometimes, life throws a curveball, and your brain gets a little shaken up.

Genetics: Yep, blame it on the family genes! Some folks are just more prone to these electrical storms.

Brain tumor: No one likes uninvited guests, especially not in your brain. Tumors can crash the party and cause some serious disruptions.

Symptoms of Seizures

Picture this: you’re going about your day, and suddenly, things get a little wonky. You might start feeling confused, twitchy, or just space out for a bit. That’s your brain having a moment.

Diagnosis of Seizures

Early detection is key to tackling these brain shenanigans. That’s where SmartCare Diagnostics Pvt Ltd swoops in like a superhero! They’ve got all the fancy tools to peek inside your noggin and figure out what’s going on.

Treatment Options for Seizures

Alright, now that we know what we’re dealing with, let’s talk solutions:

Medications: Sometimes, a little pill can work wonders in keeping those brainwaves in check.

Surgery: When things get serious, it might be time for a little brain surgery to nip the problem in the bud.

Therapies: From special diets to fancy gadgets, there are all sorts of tricks up our sleeves to tame those unruly brain cells.

Living with Seizures

Living with seizures isn’t always a walk in the park, but hey, we’re all in this together! With the right support and a solid game plan, you can still rock this thing called life.

Seizure First Aid

If someone around you starts doing the seizure dance, don’t panic! Just remember to keep them safe, comfy, and give them some space to ride out the storm.

Seizure Prevention

While we can’t always stop the party from happening, there are a few things you can do to minimize the chances of it getting out of hand. Think of it as being the responsible host of your brain party.

Impact of Seizures on Daily Life

Sure, seizures can be a bit of a buzzkill, but they don’t have to rule your life. With a bit of creativity and some good old-fashioned resilience, you can still do all the things you love.

Seizure Management at School or Work

Nobody likes a party pooper, especially not when you’re trying to get stuff done! That’s why it’s important to clue in your teachers or coworkers about what to do if your brain decides to throw a rave.

Support for Individuals with Seizures

Remember, you’re not alone in this! There are plenty of folks out there who’ve got your back and can lend a sympathetic ear when things get rough.

Research and Advancements in Seizure Management

The brain is a mysterious place, but we’re slowly but surely cracking the code. Thanks to some brilliant minds and cutting-edge research, we’re getting better at managing these pesky seizures.

Myth Debunking About Seizures

Let’s clear the air, shall we? Contrary to popular belief, not all seizures are the same, and no, you don’t have to stick a spoon in someone’s mouth when they’re having one. Seriously, don’t do that.

[corinnalovesf1]

Your New Obsession: Everything Formula One

Intro

If you're into fast cars and intense competition, then Formula One might just be your new obsession. This adrenaline-pumping sport is all about speed, skill, and drama on and off the track. Get ready to dive into the world of Formula One racing and discover why it's one of the most exciting sports out there.

What the Heck is Formula One Anyway?

Alright, let's break it down - Formula One, or F1 if you wanna sound cool, is basically the top tier when it comes to car racing. Imagine all the speed freaks and car geniuses coming together for like, the ultimate showdown of racing across the globe. It's not just any race; it’s the big leagues, where the cars are more like rockets on wheels and the drivers are kinda like superheroes of the track.

These aren't the cars you see cruising down the street. Nah, F1 cars are on another level – think supercharged engines, sleek designs, and tech so advanced it makes your smartphone look like a toy. And the folks behind the wheel? Pure talent. We’re talking about the crème de la crème from all over the world, battling it out in a mix of skill, speed, and sheer nerve.

It’s an international spectacle, with races happening in some of the coolest locations on the planet. From the glamour of Monaco to the speed temple of Monza, every race is a new adventure. And yeah, the competition is fierce, but that's what makes it so gripping. Whether you're into the technical wizardry that goes into the cars, the strategy that plays out on track, or just the raw excitement of racing – F1's got something for ya. Trust me, it's a whole new level of racing.

The Need for Speed: How F1 Cars Are Different

Okay, lemme lay it down for ya. F1 cars? They're like the superheroes of the car world. We're not talking about your run-of-the-mill, drive-to-the-grocery-store kind of cars. These beasts are engineered to be the fastest, slickest machines on the planet. Picture this: engines so powerful, they make thunder sound like a kitten purring. Aerodynamics so on point, they could slice through air like a hot knife through butter.

And the tech? Oh boy, it's like something outta a sci-fi movie. Teams throw down millions just to tweak and tune their rides to perfection. We're talking innovations that haven't even hit the public eye, all designed to shave off a millisecond here and there. Because in F1, every millisecond counts.

These cars can blitz from 0 to 60 faster than you can say "Formula One". Hitting speeds that'd make your eyes water, they're all about pushing the limits of what's possible on four wheels. And it's not just about raw speed. It's the precision, the handling, the way these cars can hug a corner at breakneck speeds without missing a beat.

So yeah, F1 cars? They're in a league of their own. Pure, unadulterated speed machines that redefine what it means to go fast.

The Big Names You Gotta Know

Alright, so you’re getting into Formula One, right? Now it’s time to talk about the superstars of the track – the drivers who make magic happen at crazy speeds. First off, you gotta remember the legends – Michael Schumacher and Ayrton Senna. These guys are like the OGs of F1, setting records and making jaws drop back in the day. Fast forward to now, and it's all about dudes like Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen. Hamilton? The guy's practically F1 royalty with wins that have him rewriting the history books. And Verstappen, he's the young gun giving the vets a run for their money with some insane driving skills.

But hey, it's not just about these two. The grid's packed with talent, from seasoned pros to eager rookies all gunning for that top spot. Each race is their chance to shine, to pull off those heart-stopping moves that have us on the edge of our seats. Remember, in F1, it’s not just the car but the driver that makes all the difference. So, next time you're watching, keep an eye out for these names. They're not just competing; they're putting on a show, making history, and, yeah, maybe causing a little drama along the way. Trust, you don’t wanna miss it.

Race Day: What Goes Down

Yo, picture this - it's race day, and the vibe? Electric. Drivers are all lined up, looking like warriors in their sleek, shiny cars, itching to hit the gas. The moment the lights go out, it's go time. These races? Not for the faint of heart. We're talking edge-of-your-seat action from the jump.

Pit stops become like these mini-dramas – teams hustling to get their driver back on track ASAP, changing tires faster than you can send a text. Strategy? Oh, it's king. Choosing when to pit, what tires to rock, and how to outsmart the competition makes all the difference.

And the overtakes – man, they're like watching a high-speed chess match. Each move is calculated, with drivers pulling off maneuvers that'll have you gasping. One slip, and it's game over. But nail it, and it's glory. Every turn, every straight, it’s all about pushing to the limit while keeping it cool under pressure.

So, when race day hits, throw on your team cap, grab some snacks, and get ready for a rollercoaster of speed, strategy, and straight-up adrenaline. F1 race days? They're the real deal.

The Tech That Fuels the Sport

Alright, buckle up 'cause we're diving into the geeky goodness that is F1 tech. This ain't just about having the fastest car on the track; it's about packing that ride with so much cutting-edge tech, it'd make a rocket scientist do a double take. Picture this: cars so advanced, they're practically from the future. We're talking hybrid power units that squeeze out every drop of power, aerodynamics that could teach a falcon a thing or two, and materials so light yet strong, they seem straight out of a superhero movie.

Teams are out here playing 4D chess with their tech, pouring stacks of cash into R&D to get that edge. It's all about innovation, baby. From software that predicts weather down to the last drop of rain, to tires that grip the track like they're glued down, the tech in F1 is nothing short of mind-blowing. And the best part? Today's bonkers F1 tech could be in your car tomorrow. That's right, this racetrack wizardry trickles down, making your ride smoother, safer, and yeah, cooler. So next time you're watching a race, remember, you're peeking into the future of driving. Ain't that something?

The Drama Off the Track

Oh man, let me tell ya, the drama that unfolds off the track is almost as juicy as the races themselves. Picture this: you've got rivalries that are so intense, they could easily be the plot of a blockbuster movie. Imagine teams throwing shade like it's their job, and drivers getting into it over the smallest things. It’s like, one minute they're all professional, shaking hands on the podium, and the next, they're throwing helmets and words that definitely ain’t PG.

And don’t even get me started on the controversies. From sneaky tech modifications that push the rules to the edge, to strategy calls that have everyone scratching their heads, there's always something brewing. It's like, every race weekend serves up a side of drama that keeps everyone talking long after the checkered flag has waved.

So, if you thought F1 was just about the cars and the speed, think again. The off-track antics add a whole layer of spice that makes following the sport a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions. Whether it's a feud that's been brewing for seasons or a fresh scandal that's just hit the news, there’s always some tea being spilled in the F1 world. And honestly? It’s pretty darn entertaining.

How to Join the F1 Fandom

Jumping into the F1 fandom is like getting an all-access pass to the coolest club out there. First things first, snag yourself a race weekend – check the schedule and clear your calendar. You’re gonna wanna see the action live, trust me. Get comfy and dive into a race; the speed, the strategy, it'll have you at the edge of your seat in no time. Then, hit up the socials – Twitter, Instagram, Reddit – they're your go-to for all the juicy updates, memes, and fan theories. You'll find yourself in the middle of passionate debates and celebrations in no time. And hey, don’t forget to pick a team or a driver to root for – it makes the whole experience even more thrilling. Whether you’re all about the underdogs or the reigning champs, there’s a place for you. So, gear up, and let's get you into the world of F1. It’s more than just racing; it’s a lifestyle.

[gretchensinister]

Book Recommendations 2023!

Hello from someone who read 111 books this year! Time for favorites and recommendations!

Favorites:

Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution by R. F. Kuang: I read this back in January 2023 and when I did I was like, “Did I read my favorite book of the year already in January?” Well, I did. In a world where the British Empire solidifies its power with silver infused with magic based on translation, a Chinese boy becomes an Oxford student and then has to decide what he’s going to do in the face of this system. Absolutely fantastic. (Also scratches that “school story + magic” itch that we’re all supposed to pretend we never liked.)

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik: This one was pure fun, about students in a magical school with reasons for “no adults” and “high risk of death” that I was down with for the world. Main character has been foretold to be the most powerful evil wizard in the world. She doesn’t want this.

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson: This is a nonfiction book by a lawyer who is working against the death penalty, and I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to know more about WTF is going on in the current US criminal justice system.

Creature: Paintings, Drawings, and Reflections by Shaun Tan: Art, highly charming art of creatures and monsters.

Dealing With Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede: This is the first book of the series The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, which I loved as a child and decided to reread this year. It’s about a princess who decides to go work for a dragon as the dragon’s princess, because it’s better than being wooed by a stupid prince. Fun, earnest fantasy. Also Kazul (King of the Dragons, she/her) please call me I love you.

Translation State by Ann Leckie: Things I really liked about this were that it included people in widely varying strange situations trying to figure out their futures. And one of the people doing this was a middle-aged adult. Also involved one of those Advanced Sci-fi Intimacy situations with two other people, which I always enjoy hollering about.

Revelations by Mary Sharratt: This is a novel about Margery Kempe, a medieval mystic, her life, and her travels, taking the work of Julian of Norwich to other communities in secret. This book really stood out to me because I found it really showed a deep understanding of the era it depicts, and the characters really feel like they have the framework of their time. I’m not a medievalist but I think I have read more than average about the European middle ages and that’s what I’m basing this opinion on. I thought it was very beautiful and very human.

The Wordhord by Hana Videen: This is a nonfiction book about Old English with chapters on topics like “health and the body” “travel” “occupations” etc. The idea is to examine what we can tell about the lives of Old English speakers based on the words they had. A significant amount of Old English vocabulary is included. Made me want to start putting Old English puns in the next thing I write but maybe I recovered from that.

Other recommendations:

Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez: Do you want to know WTF is going on with the Christian Right in the United States? This will help.

Readme.txt by Chelsea Manning: Another book that I felt helped me understand a little more of WTF is going on re: the military/security culture

The Stones are Hatching by Geraldine McCaughrean: This is a book I read as a kid and missed a lot of because I didn’t know about a lot of traditional British faeries/creatures. I think anyone interested in folk horror as a genre would have fun reading this. It didn’t go on my favorites because the main character’s older sister is treated fatphobically to a degree that taints the overall book for me.

Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots: This is a fun book about a woman who makes a living as a henchperson for supervillains. After she gets injured by a superhero, she starts analyzing the actual cost of superheroes to the world, and this work leads her to working for one of the world’s top supervillains. I think this isn’t in my favorites because...IDK, it’s like...it felt vaguely like a reply to one of tumblr’s endless writing prompt posts? It’s good, and I know I have no room to talk about the tumblr style or whatever, but there’s a certain vibe...I don’t know how to describe it. I really do still recommend it.

NOTE: Reading is my main form of entertainment. I’m not keeping up with movies, videogames, TV shows, comics, etc. I have no qualifications with these recommendations except that I am a person who read 111 books this year.

[pokemongoloresociety]

GO FEST Leader Text

More fun with the Team Leaders!

Willow sends you out to help gather meteorites with them. Glad to see another leader quest.

Candela

+RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_1 +TEXT: Hey hey, %PLAYERNAME%! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_2 +TEXT: There’re so many Trainers here. All the hustle and bustle’s really firing me up! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_3 +TEXT: But you know what’s firing me up the most? Two words: Mega. Rayquaza! Pokémon battles are my thing, and Mega Rayquaza’s got red-hot strength in spades! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_4 +TEXT: In fact, Mega Rayquaza’s so powerful that some folks from the Hoenn region say it’s strong enough to repel both Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_5 +TEXT: I’m burning  to see a Pokémon like that in action. Aren’t you? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_6 +TEXT: Yeah? Then now’s our chance! It looks like Mega Rayquaza’s landed at that Gym over there! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_7 +TEXT: My team’s raring to go. How about yours? Think they’re ready to test their mettle against a Mega-Evolved Legendary Pokémon? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_8 +TEXT: One tip before you go: using a supereffective Charged Attack will help you turn up the heat in battle! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_1_9 +TEXT: Right. Let’s do this thing, %PLAYERNAME%!

(She's fired up like a corny '90s superhero, and I can't blame her. Mega Rayquaza is a gift.)

Spark

+RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_1 +TEXT: Heyyy, %PLAYERNAME%! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_2 +TEXT: Are you helping Professor Willow find meteorites? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_3 +TEXT: Same! And just between you and me, I’m taking a tour of the best food joints in town along the way. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_4 +TEXT: I passed by what looked like a FIRE boba tea spot a minute ago. We’ll have to grab a sip once we’re done here! +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_5 +TEXT: But first, meteorites. I saw a couple fall around the streets here earlier. I’ll scoop up the ones back there, so how about you keep searching up ahead? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_6 +TEXT: And don’t forget to pop an Egg in an Incubator before you go! No reason not to hatch while you, uh...catch? Meteorites, I mean. Just...pretend that made sense. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_2_7 +TEXT: Now, I gotta run—boba’s on me later, bestie!

(His fans may eat… drink? well with this one! Come to think of it, aside from Spark having a big appetite and totally in-character, it's probably a nod to their Kung-Fu Tea promo)

Blanche

+RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_1 +TEXT: Hello, %PLAYERNAME%. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_10 +TEXT: I have every confidence in you, %PLAYERNAME%. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_2 +TEXT: I’ve arrived here by calculating where the next meteorite is most likely to land, taking into account radar data... +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_3 +TEXT: ...the planet’s trajectory, present atmospheric conditions, current Pidgey migration patterns, and so forth. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_4 +TEXT: I assume you employed the same methodology? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_5 +TEXT: No? You “just felt like coming here”? +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_6 +TEXT: Ah. I...suppose that works as well. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_7 +TEXT: However you found your way, it’s fortuitous you’re here. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_8 +TEXT: Mega Rayquaza has been seen dipping through the clouds nearby. +RESOURCE ID: gofest2023_city_3_9 +TEXT: Since I have my hands full collecting meteorites around here, I recommend you spend your time observing Mega Rayquaza—perhaps even challenge it to battle, if you feel up to the task.

(Blanche is too precious, as always.)