#we support our chronic dumbass

[ghostlyvelvetheart]

Has anyone considered that the reason why Luis is so polite and lenient is because…

He just really wants a friend. Just chronically craving friendship and nothing more than friendship.

Tone just happened to get lost over text.

He has no idea anyone's lumped him into the "boyfriend zone", and he probably won't notice unless Nessie spells it out to him. In which case he'll pull the "I only see you as a friend" card.

He thinks that Nessie's in an abusive relationship and wants to get her out of it, not because he wants to get with her, but because he can't stand seeing his BFF hurt! He doesn't want to go for a coffee because it's a date, he wants to go because he wants to get to know his new BFF better!

[harpersdragons]

New Fic!

Title: “Emergency”? FUCK

Fandom: Batman

relationships: Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd

tags: chronic pain, hurt/comfort, Jason Todd is a dumbass

Summary: my vent fic bc chronic pain sucks ass. So I gave it to Jason and his family convinces him to accept help

Gotham is trying to kill him. 

Well, in a different way than usual.

This time it’s not brightly colored villains with stupid fuckin’ themes.

Or supposedly well-meaning, but nosy as fuck family members.

Or any other physical means of actually taking his life.

Nope.

It’s the fuckin’ weather.

Stupid fucking changing seasons and rain.

And the new armor Bruce made for him, lacking the extra padding his has.

Surprise, death and resurrection doesn’t agree with him. 

The chiming of his phone interrupts his wallowing. He groans, and stiffly rolls over to grab it, although the action dislodges the heating pad spread under him. 

He coulda sworn he’d turned his phone on silent, and after checking, it shows he did. Which means the ringing was coming from his Bat phone.

/Fuck/. 

Not today, he can’t deal with them today.

He grabs the other phone, and barely refrains from tossing it across the room when he reads the message.

/Emergency. Report to the cave immediately./ 

Pain lances through him as he levers himself up to sitting position. He moves slowly, trying to minimize sharp motions that would only make the pain worse, but that only helps slightly.

At least his armor has extra support built in, made to press on certain pressure points and dull some of the pain.

He pulled on his armor painstakingly slowly, ignoring the other suit in its case. That one was why he was in the middle of one of his worst flare ups in months. Bruce had ordered it made after noticing his current one was getting worn down, but it didn’t have the extra support in it, Jason wore it 3 days in a row and now he’s suffering for it.

It’s not Bruce’s fault—for once—since Jason had never told any of them about this. Which was yet another reason he doesn’t want to go to the cave today.

He doesn’t have the capacity to hide how much pain he’s in, and their stupid nosy, detective asses will figure it out. 

But he can’t ignore an emergency call to the cave. 

Pain radiates through his legs with every step, and the goddamn stairs are his worst enemy. 

Regardless, he makes it to the cave.

…eventually and with a lot of stifling grimaces.

He promptly decides he’d like to be anywhere but here. 

Well, preferably in his bed with heating pads and soft blankets, but the point stands. 

Fuckin’ Bruce had to call him here for an ‘emergency’. 

Fuck that. 

When he walks into the cave—forcing himself not to limp, might he add—the only people he sees are Dick and Damian, and he almost turns around leaves immediately.

“Jaybird!” Dick chirps.

Jason groans, he is so not in the mood to deal with Dick. 

“Father is upstairs, he wants to speak with you.” Damian calls out from his position on the med bay cot.

“Is this not a bat emergency? Why /the fuck/ did he call me in the work line? Also, the fuck happened to you?”

Damian’s face screwed up in displeasure, and Dick jumped in to answer. “Someone thought it would be an amazing idea to take on Croc by himself.” He shoots a pointed look at Damian. “Broken ribs and possible concussion, but he’ll be fine. B texted the Batphone because you weren’t answering your regular phone.”

“Oh so he made up an emergency just because I wasn’t answering my texts? Fuck this. I’m going home.” Something clouds Dick’s face—Sadness or disappointment, maybe?—but Jason can’t be bothered with that right now.

“Wait! It is, kind of, an emergency. Just not a vigilante one. He’s dealing with something upstairs, but he’ll be down soon. Why don’t we spar in the meantime?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

/No/. He can’t spar Dick, he can barely fuckin’ move without wanting to scream.

“No.” 

“C’mon, Jay! It’ll be fun! We haven’t sparred together in a while.”

“Not today, Dickhead.”

“Jayyyyyyyy.”

This isn’t gonna go well.

“Fine, one round.”

“Yes!”

They head over to the mats, and Dick gestures at Jason’s armor. “Wanna change out of that?”

“I’m good.” No way in hell is he sparring without his armor, if he tries he might collapse.

“C’mon, scared I’ll hit you too hard? Fight me on equal terms.”

“We both know it’s still not equal terms, I can beat you any day, /Boy Wonder/.”

Jason sheds his armor, gritting his teeth as he does. 

Why is he fuckin’ doing this?

Jason’s gonna regret this. His last piece of armor hits the ground, and Jason steps on the mats. 

“Weapons?”

Dick tosses him two rattan Kali sticks in response, and then grabs two for himself. 

Jason exhales slowly, preparing himself for the eventuality of exacerbating his pain.

”Ready?” Dick shoots Jason a wide grin, bouncing eagerly on his toes.

Jason nods sharply, tapping Dick’s sticks with his own. 

The second Jason is in ready position, Dick is lunging forward. Jason ducks, swinging at Dick’s knees.

Dick jumps, and the fight picks up. 

The ringing of their sticks hitting each other resounds through the cave.

Jason is gritting his teeth against the ache radiating through his body, made sharper with every clash of the Kali sticks. 

Dick lands a sharp hit on Jason’s ribs. Jason jumps back, but not fast enough. 

Jason kicks at Dick’s chest. Dick retaliates with his own, aimed at Jason’s hips. 

Jason steps forward, sticks aimed at Dick’s own ribs, and then tosses his elbow back into Dick’s face. 

They trade blows for a while.

Blocking, evading, and attacking.

The fight stretches on, a flurry of movement and the clashing of the sticks. Fatigue weighs on Jason, pain lances through him—sharper and sharper with every movement.

Dick lands a sharp kick on Jason’s hip, and Jason collapses with a stifled scream.

His hip was one of his weakest points, the crowbar had shattered it, and there was only so much the Lazarus pit could repair.

Dick hits his knees next to Jason, “Jase? What’s wrong?”

Damian comes over as well, leaving the med cot from which he’d been watching.

Jason just groans, twisting awkwardly to try and get away. Dick stops him with hands on his shoulder, “Stay still, Jaybird, we don’t know if it’s safe to move yet.” Jason rolls his eyes.

“I fuckin’ do, and if you don’t get your fuckin’ hands off me, you’re gonna lose them.” Jason ground out. It’s an empty threat and they all know it. Jason couldn’t do shit right now.

He weakly shoves at Dick’s hands until they move, and Jason shoves himself up. He vaguely hears Dick telling Damian to call Bruce, but he’s not listening. He stumbles forward, nearly smacking his head on the wall in front of him. 

“Jay!” Dick rushes over again, trying to steady him. “Settle down, ok? We can wait in the med bay.” 

“Fuck off,” Jason grits his teeth. His leg still isn’t steady—well, even less steady than it was to begin with.

”Jace, please.” 

Jason glares, and limps past him to the pile of armor just beyond the training mats. He starts putting it back on, getting ready to leave.

Just as he starts stalking (limping very slowly) to his bike, Bruce stops him with a hand on his elbow. 

“I can’t let you leave, Jason.”

He’s dimly aware of Dick guiding Damian upstairs. 

”Oh yeah? Fuckin’ watch me.”  He shoves Bruce’s hand off and makes it all 3 steps before Bruce stops him again. This time, Bruce just scoops him up in a fireman’s carry—and boy if that doesn’t make his whole body just /scream/—and carries him to the med bay.  “Fuck you, Old Man.” He growls.

Bruce sets him as gently as possible on the cot. 

“Will you just cooperate, please? We can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

”Maybe I don’t want your help.” Jason crosses his arms, then immediately regrets it when it twists his wrists in a weird way.

”Jason, please.”

”Why the fuck did you call me here.”

”I needed you to look after your siblings for a few days while I fly out on a business trip. Dick is needed in Bludhaven, Damian’s injured, and I don’t fully trust them alone together. Alfred is on a very rare vacation.”

”Fuck no. I was comfortable in bed, and you called me out here for a stupid ass reason.” Jason moves to hop off the cot. “I’m going home. You wanna stop me? You’re gonna have to fight.” Jason knows he wouldn’t win in that situation, but he’s banking on Bruce refusing to fight him while he’s ‘injured’.

Jason’s not injured. He’s just in pain.

…There’s a difference.

”I’m not fighting you, you can barely walk without limping.”

”Then I’m leaving.”

”No.”

”Fuckin’ stop me then.”

Bruce grabs him around the waist and pushes him back on the cot. Jason is powerless to stop him.

”Jason…”

”Fine! If I promise it’s not a big deal and this just happens sometimes will you let me go?”

”No.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

”Tell me what’s wrong.”

”It’s not a big deal.”

”Tell me anyway.”

Jason glares defiantly, but Bruce just waits.

”Fine. I have chronic pain, both from being a vigilante since before my bones and joints were fully developed and the whole, y’know, crowbar broke almost every bone in my body thing.” Jason is not pouting. At all. He’s not at all affected by the fact his family knows how much he struggles now, which is exactly what he didn’t want to happen.

Bruce’s brow furrows, and he opens his mouth to speak.

Before he does, Jason rushes to speak first. “C’mon, you can’t tell me none of you experience chronic pain. You and Dickhead have been vigilantes longer than I have.” 

“Of course we do, but this seems incapacitating for you.”

Jason shrugs, “Only during flare ups. Usually it’s manageable.”

“Do you know what caused it?”

Jason nods but doesn’t elaborate.

”Are you going to tell me?”

”Are you gonna let me leave?”

”Jason…”

Jason stubbornly crosses his arms again and leans against the wall. The position makes his back spike with pain, but the only way to fix that is to lay down on the hard cot, and like hell is he putting himself in a more vulnerable position. 

Besides, he’s not entirely sure he could sit back up if he does. He used most of his energy getting up after he collapsed during sparring.

That was embarrassing.

Bruce is clearly thinking over what’s happened in the last couple days, trying to figure out what Jason’s not telling him. 

Normally he would have told Bruce, just to see the guilt spiral when he realizes it was something he did, but Jason really doesn’t have the energy to deal with mopey Bruce. Or Hyperfixated Bruce who has to fix the problem and won’t sleep or eat until he does. 

Alfred’s the only one that can effectively pull Bruce from either spiral. 

“The new armor…?” Bruce trails off with a questioning glance at him. ”That’s the only thing I can think of that was different, unless something else happened that you’re not telling me. But why would that cause a flare up?”

Jason sighs heavily, “My armor has a lot of extra support in it. I designed it specifically so it would brace my joints and help manage pain.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

”Because it’s my problem! You shouldn’t have to accommodate me.” 

“Jay…regardless, that’s something I should know. If not for the fact I am your father, I am also the leader of this team. I can’t make sure you're safe in the field if you don’t tell me you need accommodations.” Bruce sighs again, “Is there anything I can do that will help? I’m not comfortable with you going home alone when it’s this bad.”

Jason pouts but gives in. Truth be told, he doesn’t want to get up and go all the way back to his apartment in Crime Alley. “Heating pads are the only thing that really help.”

“Ok. You want to go upstairs or stay down here?”

“Upstairs, I need a real bed.” He pushes himself off the wall, gritting his teeth against sharp pain.

Bruce grabs his elbow and helps him off the bed and over to the elevator. He tugs Jason into his side, “You’re not alone, Jason, you don’t have to hide things like this.”

When they get upstairs—they took the elevator all the way to the second floor—Bruce leads them to his room. Jason hesitates for a second. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable I can set you up in one of the other rooms. My bed has the best mattress.”

Jason nods, and limps the rest of the way into the room. Bruce grabs several heating pads—apparently they were conveniently located in Bruce’s bathroom—and starts plugging them in and setting up. He gets Jason situated on the bed, rearranging the pillows for more support, then steps back “You good? I’m going to grab water and snacks from the kitchen and then I’ll be back.”

Jason settles against the heat pads, wanting to sigh in relief. Finally, some of the pain is dulled. His eyes close and he loses all track of time.

Soon, Bruce comes back in and Jason cracks an eye open. Ace follows Bruce in, and after the man sets the tray of snacks on the nightstand, he signals Ace to jump up. Bruce slides in next to him, holding Jason the best he can without dislodging the heating pads or pillow mountain. 

“What ‘bout your trip?” Jason murmurs. 

“It doesn’t matter, I can go another time. You’re not alone, Jaylad, I love you.” Bruce whispers against his hair, and Jason lets himself drift off.

“Love you too,” Jason’s words come out slurred and muffled, but Bruce clearly hears him and acknowledges him with a soft squeeze.

He’s floating somewhere between sleep and awake when he becomes aware of his other brothers joining them. Dick is talking quietly with Bruce above his head, but Jason can’t focus enough to decipher the words.

Everyone settles in, and Jason finally falls asleep.

He’s safe, surrounded by his family.

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

5, 9, 14, 16 for the Disability Pride asks!

Hello!

Disability Asks~

5 and 9 I have answered already, so I'll do the next unanswered questions, 13 and 4 <3

4. do you know any disabled people irl? what about online?

Yes! Both in person and online I know disabled people. Most of the people I know are neurodivergent, but I do know a few physically disabled people <3. There are also some disabled people in the writeblr community that I've interacted with, and there's also the post I made at the beginning of the month encouraging disabled writers to promote their stuff.

13. whats the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?

In response to my adhd and autism, I have been told everything from "have you tried using a planner?" to "make alarms and reminders on your phone!" and "have you tried yoga/meditation?" to "but you do so well at school/work!". about the planner thing: buddy. friend. if you think for a second that writing something down on a piece of paper is going to make me remember- DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT MY ADHD BRAIN FORGETTING THINGS WOULD STILL BE A PROBLEM?

but I think the one that takes the cake is "you don't look autistic." oh, sorry Karen, let me just draw a puzzle piece on my forehead and cosplay Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. Note my sarcasm (ooh shocker I can be sarcastic). Autism doesn't have a look, dumbass. People of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexualities and genders have it. And if you think you can spot autism just by looking at someone, that's incredibly ableist and just plain stupid.

14. has there ever been a time where you felt solidarity/community with another disabled person in a situation with you?

any time I'm with my in person friends and we're not hiding our disabilites. One of my closest friends is also autistic/adhd, plus some chronic conditions. I swear whenever I'm with them it's like ableist society doesn't exist for a minute. We support each other's special interests and even scream with each other about them, and it is the most freeing thing ever.

And of course disability pride month. Such a freeing and wonderful feeling to connect with and talk with people who know how it feels and we're all trying to help ourselves and each other learn some self love and acceptance, while also fighting to get some human rights. It's amazing to have a wholeass community of disabled people in my pocket.

16. free space to talk about whatever disability issue or experience you want !

You know what? I'm still angry from what I talked about for number 7 earlier, when I talked about the portrayal of personality/mood disorders in media, and I feel like talking about autism in mainstream movies/books/tv shows.

CW talking about the ableist and harmful dogshit that is autistic representation in media, and hate organizations like Autism Speaks. Also a lot of me venting and yelling angrily because this shit pisses me off so much. Also there's a lot of screaming in caps, if that kind of thing makes you upset. Autism Speaks gets it's own content warning because it's that bad

Not only is there a lack of representation, the majority of representation we do get is... shall we say... terrible and very not good. I'm looking at Sia's Music (MOST ABLEIST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IT SHOULD'VE BEEN CATEGORIZED AS A HORROR MOVIE), Rain Man, The Good Doctor, Big Bang Theory, etc etc.

Here's the issue: most, if not all of autistic characters in media (at least mainstream media) are the exact same thing, just slightly to the left, and not even in a good way. These characters all rely very heavily on the exact same sereotypes, and half the time these characters are treated like props and plot devices, and not even treated or shown as human. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU SIA). It should be noted that real people falling into stereotypes isn't bad, the problem is when the entertainment industry sees those as the only traits of an autistic person, and there's no diversity in the very short list of canonically autistic characters.

And the worst part? The writers/directors/producers of the media got all of the research for their autistic characters from terrible sources that are ableist hate organizations. Good Doctor and Sia's Music both got their research from the hate organization Autism Speaks, which is notorious for spreading misinformation and hate, and it shows in how the autistic characters are written and treated (and they're not even sorry for it).

Side note: Don't believe that AS is violently ableist and a hate organization? Go find one of their ads promoting the idea that autism is caused by the mom taking medications during pregnancy (which is not true at all, no scientific evidence to back that up in the slightest). Look at one of their fundraising campaigns to 'find a cure' (we autistics don't need a cure, and they just use the money to get out of taxes and line their own pockets anyway). Go find a recording of their 'I am Autism' ads from the late 2000's (the ad is so horrible it's banned pretty much everywhere and only poor quality recordings of it exist, AND IT'S SOME OF THE MOST VIOLENTLY ABLEIST SHIT TOWARDS AUTISTICS I'VE EVER SEEN). <- Trigger warning for all of that shit because it's very disturbing and extremely ableist.

so the entertainment industry gives us little to no autistic characters, gets their research for their autistic characters from Autism Speaks and other such ableist organizations, use autism as the butt of jokes or view those traits as 'not human' behavior, have the characters fall into the exact same stereotypes and character types (super smart, literal child or childlike, poor thing, can't socialize at all, obsessed with math or science, etc etc), AND THEN! On top of all that they expect the autism community to be grateful that they were even granted any representation in the first place, despite how dogshit said representation is.

It gives society the wrong idea about us, infantilizes and glorifies autism, feeds hate organizations, hurts us, hurts the people that love us, push harmful stereotypes, and all around makes it harder to be autistic in this world. It's some of the worst ableism I have ever witnessed and it's just plain hurtful.

I kind of went off there, but I honestly don't care because this is a huge issue that should be talked about more, and the entertainment industry needs to be held accountable for it, because it causes real damage to autistic people in real life.

I'm going to end this on a more positive note: I'm trying to get into more indie/less mainstream media, and the representation is better it's so refreshing and nice. I'm also pouring all of my love into my own autistic characters, and it helps to release some of my anger about mainstream media rep.

Thanks @girlcalledwhatsername !

[hangonimevolving]

And we're back... to 2023

BACK TO THE PRESENT. I have managed to catch my blog up with the goings-on from 2021-2022, and I now find myself in the present year. Guys. I'm proud of myself.

Top row plus bottom left: We spent the first week of January (the 2nd week of the kids' holiday break from school) on a little road trip to Legoland, and then Cape Canaveral. We hadn't been to either before, despite living in Florida for almost 9 years. Feel like this was an important achievement as Floridians.

Bottom middle: Vev turned TEN! Can you believe that insanity?!!!! Remember when he was JUST BORN, or when he was a TINY BABY?! I know, so nuts. Our big activity to celebrate Year Ten was a trip to.... an abandoned railroad track. But not just any abandoned railroad track! This was an abandoned railroad track that I scouted out and pored over the internet to find... because apparently, its the favorite spot of official Planespotters to take photos of "heavies," aka large-body jumbo jets, that land into Miami International Airport. We went planespotting! Our first of many planespotting jaunts since. Vev was freaking delighted. #winning

Bottom right: February 2023. Dr. Spouse and I ran the Publix A1A race - this time, opting for the 4-miler in support of the American Cancer Society, and channeling positive vibes to two special people in our lives who at the time, were battling aggressive cancers. Sadly, in the weeks since then, we have lost both of them :( but this highlights the importance of the ACS's work. In the weeks since this race, I've been dealing with some nagging chronic pain and arthritis.... what else is new.

***

March 2023: The kids' spring break week = family vacation to Costa Rica! Dr. Spouse and I had done a weeklong trip to CR in 2008, but this was our first time as a family unit. We spent our time in Monteverde exploring mountaintop rainforests, and then Arenal/La Fortuna exploring the forests, hot springs, and land surrounding the Arenal volcano. It was a blast. Also, our kids are REALLY good sports about hiking and outdoor adventures. They are at the most awesome, awesome ages right now, and I couldn't be more freaking delighted.

***

And now, I bring you to the last few weeks, from March-May 2023.

Top left and top right: I spent most of March and April quilting up a storm. I made two beautiful (if I do say so myself) quilts for the kids rooms with fabrics that I purchased from Etsy in December 2021 while living in the apartment, that I dropped entirely too much money on, but that were all chosen carefully to compliment the color scheme of their rooms/rugs that I just KNEW I'd be putting in there once we moved in. These quilts weren't just quilts: they were sort of a love letter to the labor and waiting that we had put into this house of ours. I enjoyed making them! Also, I chose patterns that involved me learning new skills. Can talk more about that later, but it was kind of a "thing" for me.

Middle left: American Heart Association Heart Ball. Dr. Spouse is on the board of the local chapter of the AHA, so he was sort of obligated to make an appearance. I recycled the same dress I wore to the 2016 ball, lol.

Middle right: I volunteered for several days at the kids' school's Scholastic Book Fair. I used to do this at their old school too - I really love it. Its fun to help the kids pick out new and interesting books to read! Bonus: I got to take funny pics trolling Florida governor Ron Desantis' dumbass policies on critical race theory and anti-wokeness. Eat shit, Ron Desantis! :) love ya haha jk jk.

Bottom row: May 2023 has meant some fun adult time! No, not that kind of adult time. I'm talking about a few occasions to reconnect with old friends, on our own and without kids in tow. I had a LONG awaited and much, MUCH enjoyed weekend with my college girlfriends - they all flew down to my neck of the woods, and we rented a beautiful and HUGE mansion from a homesharing site and had a blast together. Dr. Spouse did a similar thing the very next weekend with two of his medical school buddies. Here's to nurturing old friendships - the ones that have gotten us through all kinds of things in life so far.

***

And, now I'm up to date with our lives. Whee! I know this might sound dumb, but I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. I have had this blog going since sometime in 2010, I think, and although I've had long blocks of time where I haven't kept it up, its never far from my mind. I love that its a chronicle of my life over many years and many changes. I hope to keep it going. Whether you are new here or you've followed me awhile, whether you even exist or not - - thanks for reading.

[irisbaggins]

Y'know, my parents and my sister switching rooms has resulted in mom and I talking (and then yelling 'cos we're absolute IDIOTS who can't hear anything ever) through the thin wall we share. Walking out of our rooms and talking like adults? Nah. Yelling stupid jokes at each other through a wall? Yeh.

As I keep saying, separately mom and I are adults, but somehow if we're left alone we barely make half an adult. Somehow we're less capable as a duo, and I blame the sea of chronic illnesses between us.

[unheavenlybody]

hi i ended up writing an entire essay while trying to vent so feel free to ignore: 

its frustrating that there's no way to talk candidly about mental health problems without the looming fear of forced institutionalization, at least in my case. people trying to force medication on you. wellness obsessed fitness people recommend you start doing yoga and “clean eating” and only using certified nontoxic products and adopting a more positive mindset and ~recognizing your inner magic~ or whatever even though no one asked (literally a dig at my sister LMAO). so much of it just seems self righteous and self congratulatory and devoid of any genuine compassion or understanding for people’s unique circumstances??? recognizing that a lot of life is just hard and miserable and sometimes its ok to just sit with that??

i hate the idea of some dude with a degree from whatever ivy at my school’s counseling department keeping a record of everything i say which can potentially be used against me even tho its supposed to be confidential. treating me like a fragile baby bird but also slicing our meetings in half and arriving late and leaving me to fend for myself after asking me to dig up buried trauma and then offering no support for the next two weeks other than “i understand, that must be hard.” recommending we look into a psychotherapist during our next meeting, which i cant even afford, and then not following through. repeatedly tiptoeing around the question of whether i have suicidal thoughts and if so how severe, like, my guy, i 100% wouldnt tell you that in a million years. even if it’s true.  

i'm caught between recognizing that a healthy diet and exercise and enriching hobbies and social connection are necessary parts of getting better, but people seem to conveniently forget that these aren’t equally accessible options for everyone. and even if i maintain all of these things, will it be enough to keep me here? i just don't understand the impulse to shame people for not trying “hard enough” when it’s so easy to neglect these things if you don’t have money, adequate resources, or emotional support. not everyone was born to be entirely self sufficient (is anyone really, lol?) but grindset wellness fuckers will have you convinced you’re just an undisciplined weak-willed piece of trash and simply need to become more like them. or at the very least get medicated and stop complaining. but can you prioritize a healthy organic diet if you barely have enough money to scrape by as it is, when understandably cheap fast foods are one of the only things that still bring you comfort that you can regularly afford? how can you safely exercise in a way that's both sustainable and enjoyable if you can't afford a gym membership or exercise equipment and live somewhere that neglects public parks or is highly polluted and congested? or if you have chronic pain or fatigue and can’t get treatment for it because your dumbass country doesnt think universal healthcare is a human right? you can’t even maintain certain hobbies and especially long term relationships unless you have money for outings and some means of reliable transportation (which in the US obviously means having a car). how can you get out of an abusive or hazardous living situation when the resources that do exist are often underfunded, discriminatory, or exploitative themselves? when you have no one else to depend on? everything is increasingly designed to strip you of any opportunity at having a happy fulfilling life and maybe some people are just less equipped to deal with this reality. maybe i am weak lol. or they see through the bullshit and can’t bring themselves to care anymore. 

like yeah i know that’s not a great mindset to have, and you should still try to find joy in life, but most days i can't help but feel that I am trying to get better by exercising or eating healthy or allowing myself to love things all for nothing. like maybe ive already been robbed of a healthy, happy life by circumstance and i could try to exhaust myself further by insisting things can and will get better when maybe realistically they won't in the way i want them to. i dont know how to end this i just wish it was easier to talk about with someone lol sorry for the essay byeeee

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 05 (first part)

(Masterpost) (previous episode) (this episode, second part)

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes of the Untamed

The Pride of Yunmeng 

Waterfall Date

Lan Wangji gets to experience the two extremes of Wei Wuxian’s interpersonal skills within the span of a few seconds. This is even better than his rooftop date with this horrible annoying terribly, terribly attractive boy.

Lan Wangji has come here on a mission to make Wei Wuxian do his homework, which is why he immediately tells him “let’s go to the library” gazes at him silently for several seconds...

...and then lets him adjust his sleeve for him and step allll the way into his personal space. 

Unfortunately Wei Wuxian is about to guess a Lan Clan secret, so Lan Wangji ends the conversation by saying “let’s go to the library” grabbing him by his sexy arm muscle and dragging him off. Did he hold his arm all the way to the library? Even if he didn’t, his “I don’t touch other people” later at the lake is clearly horseshit. I don’t touch other people unless they are named Wei Wuxian and our brothers aren’t watching. 

(more after the cut!)

Apology in the Library

Wei Wuxian splits his library time between actually doing his homework and trying to make friends with Lan Wangji. And he tries really, really hard, starting by sincerely complimenting LWJ’s calligraphy and offering a pretty okay apology for his prior rooftop antics. Lan Wangji tells him to put his leg down but doesn’t tell him to go sit at his own desk. 

Lan Wangji exhibits steely self-control as he resists this look, which would cause anyone else’s robes to spontaneously un-weave themselves into a pile of threads.

When Lan Wangji won’t look at him because he feels his apology was not sincere, Wei Wuxian becomes much more formally apologetic. First he says “sorry” two more times, and he starts prepping Lan Wangji’s ink.  This involves grinding an ink stick against an ink stone with water, to make a pool of ink for the calligrapher to dip their brush into.

This is not Wei Wuxian being annoying and messing with stuff on Lan Wangji’s desk, a la Zhou Yunlan (Guardian). This is an act of service; a genuinely helpful thing to do if you know how to do it properly --which all of these young scholars definitely do--and an action that casts Wei Wuxian in the role of a servant or junior. 

Then Wei Wuxian offers to kneel down (to offer a major formal apology), while giggling like an adorable dumbass. It's unclear if this is sexual innuendo, just being ridiculously unconcerned about dignity, being slightly into abasing himself for this beautiful person, or all of the above. 

After taking a long moment to consider all this, Lan Wangji slowly and deliberately gives Wei Wuxian three seconds of the eye contact he’s been begging for.

Then Lan Wangji spoils the moment by dropping a silence spell on him. 

Wen Can I Have Some Fun?

The Wen siblings hang out and talk about their secret villainy and then fret about how much it sucks to have a chronic health condition, which is pretty relatable TBH.

I know life seems boring now but just wait until you’re an itinerant zombie with nails in your head.

Wen Qing is a devoted older sister just like Jiang Yanli, although with less fainting and more scheming. 

Good kitty.

Porno in the Library

Now, since this next scene ends with Wei Wuxian being a boundary-crossing jerk, let's start by remembering that Lan Wangji has magically gagged Wei Wuxian against his will three times now, as well as hiding his vulnerable family member behind a ward while lying in wait in order to attack him. So, you know. Teenagers in lust. They are both learning what is and isn't okay.  

Lan Wangji steals a long glance at Wei Wuxian while Wei Wuxian is drawing. 

Wei Wuxian is putting the finishing touches on a gift for Lan Wangji. The gift is a portrait of Lan Wangji with flowers in his hair. This boy is SMITTEN. I think he knows it, too; he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal yet. 

Wei Wuxian, who is good at everything, is really fucking good at drawing. 

When Wei Wuxian presents the drawing to Lan Wangji he says “this is my gift for you.”  This is very good-mannered of Wei Wuxian; Lan Wangji had to supervise him for three days, so he is presenting him with a gift to thank him and say farewell.

Lan Wangji completely ignores him, which is really breathtaking, next-level rudeness.

Wei Wuxian isn’t bothered by this, however, and just embellishes the picture with an extra flower or something before offering it again. This time Lan Wangji takes in and is very very very pleased with it, as evidenced by his slightly widening his eyes and how carefully he places the drawing on the far side of his desk.  

Also he gives Wei Wuxian some prolonged eye contact, and engages in what, for him, is playful banter, calling the gift “extremely boring” when Wei Wuxian prompts him to use more words than usual. 

Then Wei Wuxian spoils the moment by pranking him.

Now - let’s look at this erotic-book situation. This is a boundary-crossing prank, yes, but it’s also an invitation to engage in some form of intimacy. For teens who have access to erotic images, looking at them together can be simple naughty fun. Or it can be a way of discovering and bonding over shared sexual identities and interest. Or it can prompt more direct engagement, up to and including having sex with each other.

Lan Wangji’s horrified reaction means that Wei Wuxian has to characterize this as a prank after the fact, but he might very well have intended it as an invitation to get horny together. 

Either way, his response to Lan Wangji’s “shameless” comment is bound to make an impression.

Wei Wuxian is from the clan of "be free" and he just doesn't see why this is a big deal. And now he’s told Lan Wangji it doesn’t have to be a big deal. And through him, the producers are breaking the fourth wall and telling every viewer that this doesn’t have to be a big deal and that they shouldn’t feel ashamed. 

Threats and rudeness and book destruction ensue, and Lan Wangji is left alone in all kinds of emotional disarray, with a bunch of torn up erotica to tape back together throw away.

Boys on the Rocks

Wei Wuxian brags about his prank to Jiang Cheng and bestie Nie Huaisang, telling them that he got Lan Wangji to cuss at him. He’s going to put a notch on his sword handle for this achievement.  

Jiang Cheng is pissed at Wei Wuxian about this, like he’s pissed at him about everything all the time. Possibly he has already started the seedlings of his lifelong jealousy of Lan Wangji.  

Jiang Cheng doesn’t realize that he’s essentially prepared Wei Wuxian to court Lan Wangji by constantly criticizing, hitting, and threatening him. After a decade of Jiang Cheng’s rough style of brotherhood, Lan Wangji’s elegant and refined hostility rolls off of Wei Wuxian like water off a duck’s back. 

Nie Huaisang wants to make sure Wei Wuxian didn't rat him out, but isn't worried about the destroyed book because he has a whole external drive full of porn. 

Several Brain Cells Trio

These guys do make some questionable choices together, but actually they are all really bright and effective in complimentary ways.

Jiang Cheng is growing into a strong future leader - authoritarian and dickish, yes, but also decisive and unflinching. Wei Wuxian is observant of things around him, always ready for combat, and thinks deeply and strategically about events.  Nie Huaisang is a bottomless font of knowledge, sourced from books and from his own observations. 

So when the Wen spy bird shows up, they spot it, drive it away, identify what it is, and understand that it’s a threat and that its presence has political implications.  

They are all goofballs at times, but highly gifted ones.

Doo Doo Doo Lookin Out My Back Ward

Lan Xichen asks Lan Wangji if he’s found out who was sneaking around his the back ward and Lan Wangji hesitates before reluctantly saying “Wei Ying.” 

Ok seriously - nobody calls him Wei Ying. Nobody refers to him in the third person as as Wei Ying. Calling him Wei Gongzi or Wei Wuxian would be totally normal. His own brother calls him Wei Wuxian. And Lan Wangji has only called him Wei Ying to his face when he was angry. 

But now--immediately after the erotica debacle in the library--he is Wei Ying when Lan Wangji is speaking of him privately with his brother. 

By the way, Lan Wangji's shoulders seem super wide in these robes, don't they? I'm not complaining.

Forgettable Disciple #1

Now we meet apparent nobody Su She, who sucks. He wants to take care of the water ghosts himself. 

He is a no-headband disciple which is like - none of the juniors in the later timeframe go without a headband. The guys who got set on fire at the gate had headbands. One of the Lan Rules is “wear a headband.” Is there anyone else who doesn't rate a headband? This is a plot point later when it comes to the ice cave but for now it just seems that he's that one perpetual intern who never gets promoted and never learned embroidery.

Doctor Qing, Medicine Woman

[OP laughed way too hard at her own joke just now.] Wen Qing is helping Jiang Yanli, and Jiang Cheng is super happy to see her. When did he develop this crush? Because it's already in full swing. 

Did Wei Wuxian just sneer when he noticed Jiang Cheng’s crush? Like macking on Lan Wangji is more appropriate than this? 

I love you and I’m going to advocate killing everyone who matters to you

I’m a nosy jerk and I’m going to be your best friend for life, quite literally

Wei Wuxian complains about Wen Qing ignoring him and she gives him the prettiest, loveliest *sigh* death glare ever.

However when she sees that he's a little brother whose sister utterly dotes on him, she starts thinking maybe he's all right. 

For the Yanli-Qing shippers, there is a tiny breadcrumb here, where Yanli says they met by the river bank.  I don't personally ship my personal girlfriend Wen Qing with Jiang Yanli, but I support your ships wherever they may sail.

Continued in Part 2, right here

[funkymbtifiction]

INTJ or ENTJ?

Hi Charity,

I'm hoping you can help me figure out my type, I’m stuck between INTJ or ENTJ. I feel like neither of them fit completely, but I know that I use Ni/Se and Te/Fi.

I relate a lot to the Ni posts you made. I have a very personalized worldview, that I find impossible to explain (I have confused a fair amount of people in attempts made). I think things through before engaging most of the time....

You give stronger evidence for INTJ than ENTJ. Most of your "tert-Se" behaviors are more likely for inferior Se (sometimes leaping in too fast, miscalculating, but being sensory-aware and enjoying pleasures and aesthetics) than a Te/Se looper (ENJs tend to lose sight more of how things will rebound on them and make short-sighted tert-Se decisions when problem-solving sometimes, just to "rush" the process to completion) and you seem emotionally mature in a tert-Fi way (ETJs have real trouble connecting to people on an emotional level and not substituting physical contact for emotional closeness).

[fishoutofcamelot]

It has come to my attention that after all these years I still have not told yall about the Cell City Incident. Well, it’s time to rectify that

Realistically i know this story isnt all that funny, but its probably the only interesting thing that will ever happen to me so let me have this dammit

So! I was 12 years old. My science class was doing the Cell City project. For those of you who don’t know, Cell City is a thing that some schools around the US do where everyone has to make a physical/visual model of a cell. We spent a full month learning about the cell, studying its components, and using class-time to design/construct our models. A full month. Logic dictates that I should have this in the bag, right? 

Well. That’s only if you use your classtime wisely. I, the dumbass I was, had the chronic inability to pay attention in class, and instead spent all my time sitting in the back and watching “Keroro Gunso the Super Movie 5” about fifty times in a row. 

So no. I didn’t work on the my Cell City Model. I hadn’t started it. I didn’t even know the first thing about cells, because I hadnt listened to a single thing my teacher had said for the last month. 

And to make it even worse than that, I didn’t realize this until the night before this very important, grade-defining project was due

So. I panicked for about ten minutes - and then, true to form, procrastinated again. Told myself I could just work on it in the morning. And then rolled over and went to bed, nary a trouble to be seen.

Come morning, the morning this big project was due. I had twenty minutes to eat breakfast, get dressed, and whip together a project that SHOULD have taken me a month to prepare, and also was about a subject i had no knowledge of.

So. I looked up ‘cell anatomy’ on Google, found an old poster-board in the closet, drew a bunch of random shapes and labeled them as various parts of the cell, and then used pink and orange highlighters to color everything in. It was TRASH, and it looked hideous, but it got the job done.

But! I was also worried that everyone else in class would be doing posters too, and if there’s one thing you should know about me its that since birth i have been afflicted with the deeply american need to be Different For The Sake Of Being Different TM. 

So on my half-hour walk to school, I contemplated ways to jazz up my mediocre poster. And you know what I came up with? You wanna know what my tiny, lazy, absolute dumbass past self came up with? 

I had the oh so brilliant idea to just. Tape the poster to my chest. Just take scotch tape and attach it to my body. And  then dance around saying, “Hi! I’m Planty, the magical plant cell that came to life!” Essentially roleplaying as a cell while i tell people about what all my body parts do. 

Yeah. I really did that. The limits of my stupidity know no bounds, but in my defense I was 12 and also an idiot and also pressed for time

So, eventually presentation time rolled around. And when my teacher strolled by my desk and asked me to present to him, I did the shtick. “Hi, I’m Planty the magical plant cell that came to life!” And proceeded to spend three minutes riffing on whatever information I could only vaguely remember learning earlier that morning - because my dumb ass had struck again and neglected to take any actual notes 

At the very end, my teacher paused, wrote down my grade on his little rubric clipboard sheet, and said, “That was very creative. I can really tell you spent a lot of time on this.”

And looking back I realize he was probably being sarcastic, but in the moment? Hearing him compliment the effort I had put into a 20-minute Hail Mary? I absolutely ascended.

I got an A. 

Now here’s where things get tricky. The moment presentations were over, I tore the poster off my body and theatrically ripped it into shreds. But little did I know, my teacher had decided to enter me in for a community outreach presentation night thing, where parents and civilians could come to the school and review everyone’s best projects. 

And he entered me in. And the project I was supposed to present? The Cell City poster. Yknow. The one I had slam-dunked into a trash can in the hopes of getting someone to pay attention to me (no one did, obviously)

But my teachers didnt know that. They just eagerly approached me like “Oh, your science teacher told us all about the Planty thing! We’re all so excited to see it!”

So I lied through my teeth. I told them that I couldn’t remember where I put the poster, but I know I left it in the storage room next to the lab. Which resulted in me being led around the school for a half hour in search of something I already knew full well had been destroyed. Because I had ripped it to shreds. With my bare hands. I even primal-screamed while I did it, too. 

In the end, my history teacher dejectedly lent me his laptop so I could showcase a Prezi I’d allegedly made about Old Growth Forests. I say ‘allegedly’ because in truth no such presentation existed, but I told him it did, and hastily whipped together a Prezi in the five minutes his back was turned. I got good reviews for that presentation too, but thats only because the people reviewing me were parents, and parents know youre supposed to be nice and supportive to kids that arent your own

(That night, my parents asked me how it went. Not wanting them to think I was a total failure, I lied and said I had made a new friend named Sebastian. There was no Sebastian. A month later, they suggested that we invite Sebastian over sometime, to which I hurriedly lied and said he was moving to Wisconsin like tomorrow and I was never gonna see him again. I know for a fact that they probably didn’t buy it, but they never brought it up so neither will I)

To this day I remember almost nothing about cells, and even in college I still pull dumb crap like this. So that’s a big fat ‘no’ on whether I learned my lesson. But my teacher already gave me the A, and I’ve already graduated, so its too late. No take-backsies. 

[btsmosphere]

Milestone Drabble Game!!

I am excited to announce I will be running a drabble game to celebrate 400 followers!! Thank you so much to everyone reading, reblogging and supporting me, it means a lot to have so many people here! 💜

At the moment I have a few bigger projects on the go, which I can hopefully start posting while I write these drabbles, but I’ve currently hit a bit of a wall and need to write something different! So, this brings us to the game:

Rules:

1. Read the whole post 2. Pick a member 3. Pick no more than two prompts 4. Send me an ask with your request!

~Only one request per person please!~

Additional:

~Please specify pronouns if you are requesting member x reader ~I am also happy to accept mxm or platonic, but please clarify this in your request ~I will also accept requests for fake texts, but these take longer than drabbles so the number will be limited - I will update this post when I cannot accept more ~I would prefer you to be following to make a request as this is a follower celebration event, but who am I to stop you if not ~If possible, please submit your request off anon so you will be notified when I post your drabble ~If there are any other details you would like, such as an au or plot details, please include this in your request too (or feel free to let me decide!) ~Lastly, if you have made a request, I would appreciate it if you reblog and/or comment on the finished product to let me know what you think!

~Members~ (in case you don’t know who they are)

1. Kim Seokjin 2. Min Yoongi 3. Jung Hoseok 4. Kim Namjoon 5. Park Jimin 6. Kim Taehyung 7. Jeon Jungkook

~Prompts~ (all of these prompts were inspired by the amazing people over at @thebtswritersclub as all of these things have been said on our (very chaotic👀) server!)

1. ‘When a big ass insect comes flying at you, you don’t ask questions, you run’ 2. ‘Sorry to break it to you, but these aren’t dms’ 3. ‘Is death that bad when he’s the face of it?’ 4. ‘Trees cannot fall softly’ 5. ‘Let’s see if I can knit in class without looking like I’m knitting in class...’ 6. ‘Send help. I’m a dumbass’ 7. ‘Your bribery does not work’ 8. ‘Some of us don’t even are humans at 11am’ 9. ‘Pimp him out’ 10. ‘You just broke into my house? Creepy’ 11. ‘Food kinda pales in comparison to a meal like that’ 12. ‘It’s tough having a harem y’all’ 13. ‘MY SAVIOUR’ 14. ‘I’m channelling my inner you’ 15. ‘Have you eaten? And had water? The normal human being things’ 16. ‘Moose are like 60% leg and 100% rage’ 17. ‘I heard bananas. I like bananas’ 18. ‘I love my wife, if she’s into gollum, who am I to deny her?’ 19. ‘DON’T MAKE ME DRAG YOU AWAY’ 20. ‘That’s your official introduction’ 21. ‘Solidly what the hell is even going on’ 22. ‘What’s happening peeps I had a 15 minute nap and am a new woman’ 23. ‘Alright, if you really want to know...’ 24. ‘This americano has 3 shots and it’s so weak it’s like drinking fruit juice’ 25. *middle finger* with love’ 26. ‘I am both terrified and intrigued’ 27. ...that... is such a bad pun. I love it’ 28. ‘I slept for 12 hours bro’ 29. ‘Beast was the original furry, prove me wrong’ 30. ‘We only move when necessary’ 31. ‘I will be unavailable on these dates because I will be screaming feral in the woods’ 32. ‘I have no sugar daddy😫’ 33. ‘Is that a compliment?’ 34. ‘I’m actually having an out of body experience’ 35. ‘Uhhh... sicked a possessed doll on the heir of a village’ 36. ‘If I had to choose between a dog or a guy, I would choose the dog’ 37. ‘Y’all are scaredy cats’ 38. ‘Omg are we alive at the same time?’ 39. ‘...maybe you’re the drunk one’ 40. ‘i’m SORRY BUT CAT’ 41. ‘Like holy fucking OUCH ‘ 42. ‘Ever since he buffed up, I’m just constantly not ok’ 43. ‘Bro $200? You’re not a sugar daddy you’re a high fructose corn syrup daddy’ 44. ‘Hush. I’m drunk give me a break’ 45. ‘The orange juice is magic’ 46. ‘I AM NO LONGER CHRONICALLY ILL OR TRAUMATISED’ 47. ‘The creature loves me!’ 48. ‘For no real reason 👀 what are all your worst fears’ 49. ‘We aren’t keeping the god damned animal unless it’s for dinner’ 50. ‘Can I just become a tree’ (Prompts with gender specific language can be changed)

Please note I will not write any of the following:

~Smut (suggestive stuff is okay though) ~Anything with children/pregnancy ~Self harm/suicide ~Yandere/abusive bts

I reserve the right not to accept a request if I do not feel comfortable writing it, as I cannot guarantee this is an exhaustive list. If you submitted your request off anon, I will contact you if this is the case to let you know and give you a chance to submit another request, if you would like.

Once again, a huge thank you for 400 followers, I value every single one of you! I will update my bio and this post when requests are closed, so send yours in soon! 💜💜

[sunsofmars-moved]

okay I really hate that I need to do this but I need some help

hello!!!! i am mars and i am a broke black nb lesbian and i need help

okay so there's no one in my household who's employed right now — my 37 year old mother is disabled and chronically ill, and my 16 year old sister and I are trying to acquire work (to no avail) and the government is playing games when it comes to that stimulus check — and there's things that we have to pay for that our current budget won't cover

also I feel like shit for letting my mom do shit by herself and I'm tired of her doing it on her own

there's important immediate things and things that aren't as important but it'd still be nice to have but y'all don't have to donate for those things if you don't want to!!!! just the important stuff tho pls

please read the stuff below the cut and donate if you can!!!! thank you!!!!! 💞

td;lr it's juneteenth and i'm broke and i got shit to do so pay me please 💞

(cashapp: $sunsofmars20) (zelle: zeethefantasyninja12@gmail.com)

IMPORTANT STUFF:

• my overdue rent due to my mom's dss case being cut for 4+ months  and my dumbass slumlord ($1800)

• i'm trying to apply to a better school in august and the background check is $45 and tuition is $45,000 a year, and financial aid won't cover all of it. I don't need a lot for this, just enough to get on my feet until i can make payments on my own

• my phone bill (it's supposed to be $225 every month but it's usually higher and with our current budget we can't make every payment and we need the phones to set up my mom's doctor's appointments and transportation) 

• extra food (my mom has a lot of gastro-related diseases and she has a new heart condition that prompt her to eat better but, like I said, our current amount of food stamps can't support her ever-changing diet. also my sisters keep eating all the damn food 😤😤😤)

• my landlord is a fucking SHITHEAD and he won't get shit done around here so we gotta do the repairs ourselves (i.e. there's a big ass hole in the fence that's been there since last summer, plus the back gate is down so anyone could sneak into our backyard and the thermostat and electrical sockets are DONE)

• the water bill (it's like $257 and change and was due like a week ago lol)

• a new backbrace (I have scoliosis, it's mild but it's still a bitch, and I am currently in the process of reapplying for Medicaid but it's not guaranteed they're gonna pay for it at all)

NOT IMPORTANT STUFF:

• I kinda need new shoes (the majority of my old ones have holes or give me blisters) and so does everyone else (they're too small for my mom, whose feet swell a lot, and one of my sisters only has one goddamn pair smh)

• my cat had kittens and she needs more litter and food so she can get the nutrients and feed her kids

• I'd like a new hydroflask to carry around when I start school/work (I have asthma and I'll most likely have a new inhaler by then, but my doctor has advised me to carry water around as well just in case, and it does soothe my throat and chest when I wheeze)

• new clothes!!!!! I'm donating or tossing like 95% of the stuff I have since it's too small/too old to keep wearing

• i.....I wanna buy my mom a switch???? she deserves a birthday present......her birthday was in April.........and I wanna replace her broken vintage nintendo ds.......

• tbh my mom needs a new phone bc hers is BUSTED so we're gonna pay the partial upgrade (it's like $70 or something)

I'll keep adding/deleting things as needed as we go along. ty for reading!!!!!! 💞

[ghostlyvelvetheart]

Has anyone considered that the reason why Luis is so polite and lenient is because…

Luis is Nessie's confidante.

She goes to him with her problems, he helps her, mostly off of company time.

Of COURSE he's going to put in his emails that the first time they spoke was when getting coffee, as that was their first company traceable conversation. The only things he brings up are the company traceable things.

They've shared many more secrets that we don't see.

[findangoh]

I’ve got what you might call a dumbass weird brain that functions differently. NOt only does it get chronic migraines and depression but also it has focus issues and an intense need to multitask. People will often be like “man, you can do multiple things at once, I wish i could do that”. And like, it can be useful, but the downside is my brain struggles in an extreme way to only ever do one thing at once. When I am doing big brain tasks i have to have music or audiobooks or podcasts or tv shows going. If i am watching something I get intensely uncomfortable just sitting and watching it. I get angry static in my brain and have to pull out a craft or a phone or a task or something. This is a Great annoyance to my family who get distracted themselves if i do anything else when we are watching as a family. They’ve gotten better about it when i am doing tasks like making bookmarks for my shop or writing but there are times when they won’t even allow that. It is just so frustrating because i want so badly to be normal, i want to just watch a movie with a cute guy in it without having to constantly rewind for something.

It has been more difficult lately because i’ve been trying to write more for naNoWriMo. mY extroverted idiot brain loves being with people and can write while watching something. My dad has been better about it and despite the fact that my mom wants me to write, because she cannot write while watching something, it’s distracting to her because she doesn’t understand it. She doesn’t think i can write and talk and engage at once. And there are days it’s harder but most of the time, I’m good.

I end up in an awful catch 22. She is always saying i should be writing more but she can be disappointed when i go to write alone in my room instead of hanging and watching our shows with them because they want to watch the ones they watch with me. But if i say we can watch it while i write then she gets consternated and distracted.

What am i supposed to do? Yes my brain is unbelievable weird and dumb and wired differently but just believe me when i say i can write and watch. I’m just stuck and frustrated.

She’s always been supportive of my writing fanfic but also lately she’s been frustrated by that because she wants me to focus on my original book manuscript. And i have been but sometimes I want a break and to write my current fixation. So even though i’ve always been able to talk to her about everything and she has always been so supportive of my and my writing I’ve been feeling stymied and restricted and i have no idea what i’m supposed to do. What kind of compromise is left? uggghhhhhhhhhghh

[slumberinglabyrinth]

the base/shared effect for Lions in Fire Emblem Heroes seems to be DC (given that it’s been the ‘when transformed: [effect]’ part that’s shared within races/movetypes) and while we can probably expect Skrimir to be more of a player phase unit given chronic dumbass disorder his propensity towards attacking first and asking questions later, Giffca acts as a bit of a middle-of-the-road unit in terms of how much he ends up doing in the Tellius saga when compared to Caineghis (whose personal inactivity is almost entirely enforced by the position he is in, as I’ve discussed a bit here) and his nephew which makes it somewhat harder to place what his personal weapon effect and what he as a whole might end up being built towards.

Giffca’s primary role in the Tellius Saga and especially in PoR is to act as an extension/proxy for Caineghis, so something of a support beast unit would be easily justifiable but I think that flipping that around and drawing from him being inherently more flexible in the scope of his actions when compared to Caineghis would be an infinitely more interesting. Some ideas:

Mixed phase is the closest to his actual role in story so mixed phase he will be, and we can probably expect him having Special Fighter as his B slot (or Bold as something along the lines of Hardin, but that’d be more Skrimir’s bread and butter since he’d also have dc)

Given that he gets more up close and personal than Caineghis does but isn’t as quick to jump the gun as a certain thickheaded lion, Close Defense 4 might make sense and it’d also be a way to have him further contrast with Caineghis.

Other options for his A slot would include Bracing Stance 3, Nullify as a Prf skill that grants immunity to eff against beast, or really any other defensive skill (introducing a fourth tier isn’t required but I wouldn’t expect them to do otherwise)

Armor March is an obvious choice to put as either his personal weapon effect or his C slot but I think that’d be a bit too easy for a unit with DC both from a design perspective and from a usage perspective. It being his C slot could be justifiable but it really shouldn’t be his personal weapon effect, and given the options for his A and B slot, I think he could easily forgo a C slot if we slap a special and an assist onto him (might be a good chance to get Harsh Command+ into the standard summoning pool if it isn’t already by the time he comes out?).

For his weapon (this is one single idea):

Broadening his transformation criteria to allow him to transform when granted “a movement bonus from armor march” (so no boots, no gray waves) regardless of who he is next to would be a really neat direction to take “can travel” and “can do more things than Caineghis” in, though it would require a significantly weaker actual unique effect when compared to our current baseline for a Lion Laguz.

As mentioned/linked to above, Nullify is Giffca’s default skill in RD (and he’s the only one with it) and that makes him a convenient candidate for having it on his weapon instead of an a slot a la Garon/Sothis. I think this and a broader transformation critera (plus the static stat bonus on every beast weapon) would be enough for his weapon if he gets a decent statline given that it makes him more flexible than Caineghis in terms of physical movement/team comp while making him a bit more specialized towards surviving based off of not getting blown to pieces by specific weapons/units/builds instead of having obscenely large numbers carry him to victory.

as a side note i’m like 50/50 on nullify making ruptured sky deal 20% instead of 40%

[neonarboretumart]

What I don’t understand. Is that if there was a virus in the water in a town. And it worst impacted our vulnerable folks. There would be uproar to solve it. We can understand and accept and demand a fix for waterborne viruses. But this? We suggest ANY mitigations, ANY solutions, and theyre shut down. The air is unsafe for us to breathe when it contains aerosol particles of COVID-19 and it is unsafe for LITERALLY EVERYBODY. AND YET. EVERYONE THROWS A FIT WHEN THEY’RE TOLD WHAT WILL HELP BECAUSE SOME DUMBASS TWO YEARS AGO TOLD THEM MASKS DON’T WORK (which, shock horror, they do)

Now in the uk there are zero mitigations, most hospitals are unsafe, and our government is both reducing and refusing to purchase antivirals and vaccine alternatives for those of us that can’t make antibodies. Only a TINY NUMBER of the population classed as CV or CEV can even ACCESS ANTIVIRALS. Yeah, the antivirals that reduce hospital rates and deaths and long covid cases and awful outcomes, only those in a very specific bracket can access those AT ALL. We no longer have non-hospital PCR tests at all.

Those of us forced to decide between strict shielding and risking HUGE, VERY LIKELY consequences have no support at all, financially or from work and education. At risk kids, or kids with at risk family members, are forced into school on the threat of being fined or taken away from their family.

There is SO MUCH MISINFORMATION EVERYWHERE. We that were chronically ill before were already aware of how much the medical community will literally make shit up about illnesses like ME/CFS and the like to put the blame on patients, get them incarcerated in mental health facilities or take part in abusive practices. This is just the same thing. Long covid patients are being pushed into the same ‘treatments’ we JUST HAD SUCCESSFULLY REMOVED FROM THE GUIDELINES BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING PEOPLES LIVES INTO A LIVING HELL. AND THEY’RE DOING IT TO THEM.

None of this is even remotely okay. None of it, none of us, are okay.

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean they were already dead or dying

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean it was inevitable they would get the virus

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean their life didn't matter

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean their death isn't sad

they were medically vulnerable' is not an explanation for how or why they got COVID, because existing disabilities and conditions are not COVID and do not cause COVID

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean that there was nothing that could have been done on others' part to prevent them from getting it

'they were medically vulnerable' doesn't mean they deserved to die or should have died

'they were medically vulnerable' is not there so you can feel relieved you aren't like them while doing nothing to protect people like them

'they were medically vulnerable' didn't make it any less important for people to try to protect them from infection than it is to protect you, your life is not worth more or less than theirs was

'they were medically vulnerable' does not mean they were fucking expendable

(seriously some of you sound downright genocidal about this topic and it makes me want to lie down on the floor and sob)

[madeofhorrorsunknown]

Dni if

You are a are a pro-contact paraphile (my lovelies in recovery and anti-contact lovlies are very welcome)

All lives matter and blue lives matter dumbasses

Christians who have no criticism towards Christianity

Any lgbtphobes

Aroace exclusionists

Terfs and truscum

Able bodied people who use the word cripple

You use the r slur at all

You use slurs you can't reclaim

You think that queer men can't reclaim the term femboy because you think it's only ever been used against trans women

You are against religions outside your own existing

You practice/worship closed religions and practices with heritage or invitation from someone with heritage

You are ableist at all

You are a racist

You are a Trump supporter

You are anti age/pet regression

More to be added as remembered

Sysphobes

Believers in narc abuse

Cluster B personality disorder hate

Things I and others in our system do for fun

Write poetry, songs, short stories, essays, and fanworks

Sing and voice act

Learn about our special interests and hyperfixations

Watch anime and read manga/manwha

Help people and animals when physically or financially possible

Read books especially y/a books, nonfiction, and modern fantasy

Thrifting things that make us happy

Use old technology instead of it's modern alternative

Watch cartoons

Playing video games especially dating sims and life sims

Healthy coping mechanisms we use

Interacting with animals

Age regression and pet regression

Talking to friends

Practicing my craft

Healthy distractions

Playing video games that we enjoy that are mindless and comforting

Stimming (we're autistic)

Learn new words or coin new words that describe exactly what we're experiencing

Martial arts to get the anger out

Avoiding unhealthy situations and avoiding triggers

Managing hygeine (prevention based skill)

Rearranging our environment

Leaving stressful situations before our stress levels get too high

Rewarding ourselves for good behavior

What paid services we offer mostly for under $20 (price is based on how much energy the task takes)

Divination reading $5 and under

Written selfship works (poetry written by your f/o about you, letters from your f/o, imagines, short fics, bullet fics, selfship songs about you from your f/o's perspective, detailed holiday card's from your f/o either digital or physical, selfship spotify playlists) under $10

Non selfship fan content (poetry, imagines, bullet fics, short fics 1000-5000 words, fan songs, fan playlists for ships or characters, character and ship moodboards) under $20

Reliable source collecting for people who have essays to write (no I won't write the essay for you) under $15

Custom bumper/other stickers $10-$20 + shipping fees

Dm us if interested in those we're kinda trying to leave a difficult situation

Other information

Posts not made by me the host will be tagged as "[alter name] fronter"

If unspecified ask the fronter for pronouns to avoid misgendering

We are a introject heavy polyfrag system if you try to fakeclaim us for this be aware that our persecutor Cliff will verbally tear you a new asshole /srs

We are physically disabled and chronically ill

We also have autism, adhd, anxiety, unspecified panic disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, c-ptsd, arfid, and other ed's

We are adult bodied but not all of us are adults so no nsfw unless you have confirmed you are speaking to an adult alter.