#we ruined it
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I totally forgot till just now but one time a new therapist handed me a pad of paper and said "draw me a picture of how you feel" and after spending like five whole minutes of dead silence scribbling a teeny tiny pitch black dot in the middle of the pad that dug a hole straight through like 15 pages I gave it back to see him staring back at me like
#I don't know if he realized how much stress I was unpacking#Or if it was about the notepad I ruined#But looking up and seeing that was very funny#He was a chill dude we got shit handled
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very sleep deprived doodles of whatever’s going on inside my brain
#my art#senshi#Chilchuck tims#Chilchucks wife#<- we call her whitbelle#whitbelle#chilshi#chilchuck sandwich#dungeon meshi#barely visible text says the following#(pointing at Senshi) ready to ruin things for himself because he wants to help his friend#(pointing at Chil) mcdumbass developed a crush on Senshi and is now afraid of letting him go despite wanting to reconcile with whitbelle#***the name whitbelle came from the fic Reelin’ In The Years by werewolf_gimmick on ao3 !!!
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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How I feel like when I see new pjo fans calling percabeth by the name annacy
#i know we should respect other people's opinions especially considering they're new fans and no one wants to ruin ther experience#but their opinions are stupid and dumb and percabeth is superior#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#pjo series#pjo show
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There's doomed yuri... in my FNAF ruin?
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#roxanne wolf#fnaf roxy#glamrock chica#security breach#fnaf ruin#fnaf fanart#yuri#happy pride#SHOUT OUT to the ruined vers of Roxy and Chica 🔥🔥#this is post getting her voice box back btw#this comic is based off that one MHA page#I don’t read mha but I always wanted to redraw those panels myself#I JUST thought it was sweet if Chica still thinks Roxy is pretty#despite not having her face anymore#Roxy seemingly really needs that validation so I think this is cute#I ACTUALLY had a lot of fun drawing them#I wasn’t sure if I could make the ruined designs like work well#but I’m happy how they turned out#I really hope we do see Roxy and Chica again new vers of them or whatever#Doomed yuri in fnaf is so real 🧡🤍🩷
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#okay I'm done that's all I got I need to buy ant traps#my nonsense#tumblr#ruining the surprise by tagging this appropriately but tbh. i think we are. at this point. expecting it#walrus#walrus fairy poll
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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as someone who's been through lesbian situationship this is so true
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Asmodeus: *playing with MC'S hair*
Beelzebub: *holding MC*
Belphie: *sleeping on top of MC's legs*
Mammon: *buying MC more blankets for their pile*
Leviathan: *putting in a funny movie for MC*
Lucifer: Why are you crowding MC so much?
Asmodeus: Their toxic ex tried to manipulate them into getting back together, and our dear human started to panic so we deemed this a necessary solution.
Lucifer: Then where is Satan?
Mammon: *grins* Hunting
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me asmodeus#obey me satan#obey me mammon#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me leviathan#lucifer x mc#mammon x mc#levi x mc#satan x mc#asmodeus x mc#beelzebub x mc#belphegor x mc#this is self indulgent#my ex is a bitch#ruined my day#om! asmodeus#om! lucifer#om! satan#om! mammon#om! leviathan#om! levi#om! beelzebub#om! belphie
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Quick, find him the closest meteor-
#You can do it Pokey i believe in you#Tinky is already planning the play dates they're gonna have#alsooo- drawing another tiny lord?? me?? huh?? whooaa!!#Obviously since i've never done pokey before the way i draw him is probably gonna change a bit as we go (that is if i draw him again heh)#Pokey is enraptured by scribbled paul and must ruin his life#the only proof he and tinky are related /j#tinky#pokey#t'noy karaxis#pokotho#hatchetfield#ted spankoffski#paul matthews
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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these losers again
#sorry for literally drawing never ever. apology skk for u guys#ALSO WAIT WAIT nobody talks abt this but#we need to enforce the fact that dazai has these large soft gorgeous brown doe eyes and chuuya has the vulpine sharp sullen dark cat eyes#skk both have brown eyes guys. not enough ppl know this💔#anyway enough abt that before i go on an entire tangent abt how bones fucking RUINED everyones character designs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#skk#soukoku#lotus draws
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no because people never shut up about how bad bill fumbled ford which,,, okay valid BUT can we talk about how bad ford fumbled //FIDDLEFORD//?!? FOR A DORITO?!?!??!?
#like okay fair i too would do anything for bill cipher#but#CMON#my man got you an axolotl and that wasn't enough?!?#imagine crushing on your college roommate for years ONLY TO GET BEATEN BY A DEMON TRIANGLE#he literally ruined his marriage for ford#girl if ford doesn't want him i'll take him ANYDAY 💍💍#i too would also go insane#gravity falls#billford#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#ford squared#lmao i love that ship name so much please can we keep it *pleading eyes*#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#mej's favs
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A procession of confessions.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#lan wangji#When Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao flew into the scene I honestly had to hit pause and catch my breath.#I did not expect them to waltz in and start flirting with each other.#With this comic I have officially drawn all sides of 3zun doing something homoromantic with each other. Nice!#Lan flirting is offering to organize events. “Please...let me open up my planner...do you want to create a shared google calendar with me?”#“Oh...we will have to spend so many nights at a desk working out logistics. Do you want to see how good I can balance these accounts?”#Lan events probably have the best 'stayed within budget' reputation of all the clans.#What I mean to say is...Where are the Lan Wedding planner AUs? Actually scrap that: ALL the sects as rival wedding planners.#The Jins would do high end clients with huge budgets. Lans do traditional style weddings. Yunmeng Jiang promises fun and colour.#Sit with my vision for a moment. I'm going to move on to another topic but don't *not* marinate on that idea.#Pour one out for Lan Wangji. For having to sit through all this flirting and confessing while he ruins his own chances.#He will have to wait many years before living out his romantic fantasies. Until then...he must wait in the wings for his cue.
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Iterators but theyre a massive fackin war llama from the hit game Ultrakill
#so uh we collectively agreed to this right#something about massive machines#that ruined the surface#so the people gotta live on their creations now#gl climbing up the thing haha#my art#krita#rain world#slugcat#ultrakill#rw crossover#crossover#ultrakill earthmover#earthmover#ultrakill spoilers#spoilers#earthmover ultrakill#lyss art
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Five nights at Chiitan’s is the scariest game ever..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#chiitan#cassie fnaf#the mimic#fnaf mimic#fnaf ruin#fnaf fanart#we all know Chiitan right#I saw everyone was talking about the beloved chiitan again SO I wanted to draw em 🩵#guys I think Chiitan’s true identity is totally the mimic#the mimic wears mascot costumes after all#and I’ve never seen Chiitan and the mimic in the same room#i rest my case#this is the second joke I’ve made about the ruin ending#let’s see how many more I can do pff#always a good excuse to draw Cassie though 💜
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