#we might lose the house
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if i see anyone try to joke about this or brag that "now the dems will learn!" or some shit, you're getting blocked. this isn't about some political pissing contest. this is going to have severe consequences for the most vulnerable people across the US and across the world and i guess we fucking deserve it.
#i know i said i was going to sleep but genuinely fuck me#i guess i dont have to wake up to this news at least#i just. hes projected to win the popular vote.#i was prepared for a close race and for trump to win. i wasnt prepared for it to be so immediate#we lost the senate too#we might lose the house#this is the worst timeline#i dont even know what to fucking do right now other than cry#us politics#us elections
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The penisest of tunes.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#lan xichen#When I was listening to this episode I was truly losing my mind when Lan Xichen was giving the pre-amble.#'This is where we keep our unusual music' and 'music with malevent energy.'#If that isn't penis music...I don't know what is. I feel like my goofs have been justified.#I love how JGY's craftiness comes into play here. Of *course* he knows about the secret library - he was a spy for a reason!#His secret skill is finding secret spots!#Like how your cat gets into spots you did not intend for them to get into.#So sad Lan Xichen didn't show JGY the library. I can't say something silly like 'haha secret lan makeout library'#...FOR THEM. This 100% was and continues to be the secret lan makeout chambers. Generations of secret kisses happened in there.#The things those scrolls and books have seen...#Next comic is a bigger one than usual! I might take a short break to get it done so it sticks the landing.#It's House of Gentians time!
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torahime school doodles cuz it's been a while since I've posted 🙏🙏 i rlly have no time for art lately ouhgghh i wanna draw crsm fanart...☹️☹️
#charisma house#crsm#charisma house fanart#terra charisma house#terra#torahime shu#minato ohse#cequi_art#genuinely when is bro's outfit getting revealed#i was thinking the jamboree live or 3rd anniv but there was no reveal on either of these dates 😭#i think we might get something on 9-10 nov during the agf (animate girls festival) if charisma gets a booth#i am losing it helpme
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cw pet death under the cut
Well, I guess I largely vanished for the past couple of days for some people. We unexpectedly lost two of our ratties, one of which was one I had a close bond with, so that sure knocked me out for a day. I've been taking care of one of our little old ladies, Sammy, and we expected she would leave us fairly soon, but we lost Willow and Abbie within just a couple of days of each other instead. Have some cute photos of baby abbie and willow since they were Very Loved and had happy lives. Baby Abbie! When we saw how tiny she was (stunted growth, runt) and her little broken tail we had to take her home with us... somehow, miraculously, she could still move the whole tail! It's a mystery how it broke in the first place, and no one knew when we got her. We never had it amputated since it wasn't causing her any distress, and it just over time came to look like a little pikachu tail to us. She was my little heart rat and was glued to me near constantly.
all growed up button:
"FOUL TARNISHED...." And baby Willow!!
So cute in her pot pie the incredibly sweet /sadcute photos of her mommy, Bonnie (still with us!) protecting her the day we adopted them. They were adopted together due to their previous owners having to move and not being able to keep them. Bonnie was convinced we were going to steal her baby, so she kept sitting on her like this:
Willow was curious and wanted to make friends faster than Bonnie wanted, but Bonnie warmed up and finally stopped guarding so heavily. Part of her warming up included her adopting me, so uh... rat mom? She treats me like a baby rat. Mom, I'm a full grown Rat, thank you. Willow was ***fascinated*** sitting and watching Resident Evil 4. She sat through the whole game and any time a loud noise would happen she'd ZOOP back into a sleeve...then poke back out, ears perked and whiskers going. She did the same thing last christmas when we opened presents, so RE4 gets called "CHRISTMAS 4" in our house. also to the other ratty keepers out there, don't worry, the little cage is only a nursery/hospital cage and playtime cage, they lived in a giant critter nation with lots of friends. Anyway, I'm a little sad still so I wanted to share some cute photos and celebrate them instead. We're probably going to be looking around at the local breeders to see if anyone has any baby girls ready for adoption.
#photos#rats#cw: death#cw: pet death#cute photos and cute comments under the cut though#since this is to celebrate them#my sweet little ratties#it's part of owning little animals with short lifespans#the joy they give outweighs the pain of losing them to me at least#and I always look forward to getting to spoil a new generation when one generation leaves#we still have bonnie / lei lei / sammy / wednesday / gizmo and coco#we had eight total in our mischief before#so I suppose we might be looking at getting two or more new little ones#depending on what the local area has and if there are already bonded siblings#willow and abbie both named after two of the soli characters#in our house we have a little headcanon that when they leave they go to a little rattie afterlife train station#so we were saying abbie had to go pick willow up at the station
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...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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#i am highkey full of fear but i didnt wanna scare you guys so. we stay sily hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha im so scared#long story short my dad lives in florida. on the west coast. thats all i have to say#ok wow as im making this post my mom calls and says she's going back home too. ok ok ok ok ok#on one hand im so relieved theyll have each other but im also even more scared for both of them#like they stayed thru ian last year which was a FIVE and there was just damage to the house outside#i feel like ive been crying since last night. the moment she told me she was going back to florida i broke down. i just#i feel so selfish for being in hysterics when im not even in harms way but gghhh. gjgjghghghghghghhgghhghg#i need to go back to sleep but i cant stop thinkinnnnngggg i cant stop thinking ugh uuuugggghhhhh#im sorry i probably shouldnt even be posting this but i just had to vent i feel like im losing it#ffffffffffff ok gonna eat something and then sleep bye bye love y9u bye#i might... not post for a few days. but ill be around. bye love u bye#delete later#vent
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any of y'all know how to swim 😭😭😭
#all people and the dog are safe#the cats are still inside we really want to get to them tomorrow if possible#i don't know how bad the damage is. house might be done for cars probably done dor#now i know why they forced me to get flood insurance lol#we're okay. as long as the cats are okay i can lose everything else.
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I have to accept that its been more than a week and I cannot count on homecare to help me out. I need to find a way out of this situation alone. Sigh. I just wanna be able to go out again. I hate being trapped in my home. Why did I have to live in a flat with stairs.
#it sucks so much i love my flat i never wanted to move until i left the city#but i havent seen the outside since. the hospital. 2 months ago.#cant even go to my medical appointments#alas the housing situation here. had#bad*#and an accessible flat? lmao#thats why i was hoping gvt services might be able to find a temporary solution since the hospital referred me#but no one gives a shit 🔥#sorry man i wasnt expecting to lose the ability to walk in my 20s#the fact theyre using the fact that its long covid to deny services.....#my symptoms are not new!!! stop saying 'oh we dont know how to handle long covid'#my problem is that im a wheelchair user thats not new 😭#long covid is literally just existing syndromes.... fuck this shit
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Can I please have a month without vet bills. Please.
#siren was cheap from the shelter#but i am paying in so many other ways#she's stressing me out so bad#i love her so much and all i want is for her to be happy and comfortable#she eats so little. and won't eat treats or wet food. and now she's eating even less#and the vet thinks her jaw hurts her so we need to do dental imaging to check#since visually her teeth look fine and clean#but now she has another respiratory infection so we had to put that on hold again#and all the while Selkie is getting more and more forceful about trying to chase and play#which stresses her out more#so i keep her in the crate so she has unmolested access to food and litter#because otherwise she'll pee wherever she is to avoid alerting the kitten she's on the move#but she hates the crate so much#which adds to her stress which adds to her infections and pain and losing more weight#and i just feel so damn bad she she's in this situation#Selkie is going on vacation to a friend's house to have a wrestling buddy#who might smack some manners into her in the meantime#so Siren will have her house back for a bit#but aughhhhhhh#I'm broke as fuck over all this and I'm just tired#I'm making it work and will keep making it work#but I'm tired#i just want her to feel better#i miss her#siren the bengal#selkie cat#ranting
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Was doing some cursory research about low concentration salicylic as an over-the-counter acne treatment (been having a flare-up, likely due to a combo of stress and shifting environmental factors, and since I'm a terrible skin picker I'm trying to find ways to avoid giving myself scarring without needing to visit a doctor) and as I was scrolling through the Wikipedia page I learned from the epidemiology section that acne apparently affects women slightly more than men:
...and I don't know why, but this really struck me.
I guess I grew up with the belief, picked up from the culture and media around me, that acne was this "greasy teenage boy" problem, in some way inherently unfeminine. I didn't really think boys got it more than girls, I figured that was a stereotype, but I kind of assumed the stats were pretty much equal. And back when I still thought I was a girl, I felt worse about my own acne, since it felt like yet another way I was performing girl/womanhood incorrectly.
Finding out it's actually slightly more common in (cis) women is throwing me for a loop, even though it rightly shouldn't be - that's a very neutral and harmless fact! But you never see acne treated as just a feature of a teenage girl's face, it's always something awful that needs to be fixed (never mind that in real life, you often can't "fix" acne completely, can only manage it). That's not to say it's treated as something positive in boys either - usually boys with acne are also treated as undesirable, be that a loveable nerd or just a creepy loser - but I'm not sure I've ever even seen a girl character with even moderate acne (like I had at that age, though it certainly felt severe at the time) on screen.
I took isotretinoin for my acne in school, which is a pretty powerful medication that is highly effective at stopping acne but also comes with some serious risks - I had to take regular blood tests when I was on it to make sure it wasn't killing my liver. Due to my (mentioned before on this blog, lol) massive phobia of all things medical and spiky, I fainted for every single one of these. On top of that, it increased my already very high (I'm about as white as you can get) sensitivity to sun, so I couldn't go out even on cloudy days without suncream. And it causes birth defects, so they kept making me take supervised pregnancy tests "just in case" for months, until I changed dermatologists and the new one was like "what? why? no, you don't have to do those, just sign a thing saying you're not sexually active and it's not our fault if you're lying about that and you're chill".
It was a Lot, is what I'm saying.
Isotretinoin isn't the first port of call for treating acne - my GP tried several topical solutions and two different kinds of antibiotics (one of which I was allergic to, which naturally, me being me, I discovered by fainting about it. Again. in music class, this time) before finally referring me to the dermatologist who was allowed to prescribe me The Serious Drugs. Moreover, I stand by my decision! I wasn't pressured into taking it by family or friends, I was allowed to make my own choices, and going through all that rigmarole was absolutely my choice.
...I might even have taken the same choice if I'd lived in a society without all this weird stuff around acne, to be honest. As mentioned at the top of the post, I have a skin picking problem and acne not only doesn't help with that, it was causing me actual pain.
But also. I don't know. The societal stuff didn't help at all. My dermatologist suggested at the time that insecurity about my acne might be contributing to my chronic neck and upper back pain, of all things (much like the acne, something that started in my teens but hasn't stopped since I left them), since it might be making it harder for me to stand up straight with confidence. I laughed the idea off at the time, but now... I don't know. It could certainly have been a contributing factor.
I wish I had a call to action here, but I don't really know what can be done about this, especially not at the individual level. This is a societal gender discrimination issue, and I guess an ableism issue as well? I wouldn't normally call my acne a disability, but it is certainly a medical condition, and it does affect my life (and acne can certainly be the basis of unconscious discrimination, though I'm very grateful that that hasn't been something I've faced personally). If anyone has any more productive suggestions, feel free to add them onto this post. And I guess, put characters with acne in your stories? Including women, and including adults! 5% is one in twenty. One in every twenty 40+ year old women (according to that cited study, anyway, which I can't currently verify because my institutional access is fucking broken again) still "have problems" with acne. That might be worth representing.
#asdfjklklhhll no idea what to put here#normally i put all my opinions in the tags but this time my opinions are in the post#acne sucks and if i could press a button to remove it from the world entirely tomorrow i probably would#not fair to peoples bodily autonomy i know but also there are very very very few people who WANT to have acne#and i suspect that would be true even without the societal pressure. it's annoying and has basically no upsides#however. it drives me fucking spare the way we barely depict it in stories. and even when we do it's almost always to signify a villain#or the classic “teenage girl gets one (1) pimple and screams loud enough to take the roof off about it'' story which i HATE#it speaks to a very real fear and anxiety teen girls experience about this stuff but#a) does so with very little sympathy to the girls in question. instead potraying them as vain#and b) I'm sorry. you mean to tell me you think teen girls are shocked or horrrified at the concept of a pimple?#even if it's mild they get at least one of those a week. they're not screaming the house down every time it happens they'd lose their voice#they might be super upset about it but it's a much more resigned sort of despair. trust me#...huh i guess i did still have some opinions left#i am the personification of the guy in xkcd 2134 lol#anyway. acne bad. send post
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It really is just one fucking thing after another
#when it rains it pours#and baby my house is flooded#not literal flooding#no we just have no power#if the scrap of food i just bought goes bad i might very well lose it
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.
#I honestly just want to drown in this sadness#my heart aches for Liam and the live he couldn’t get to stir in a better direction#for the boys who love their brother#for his family who saw him leave home as a bright kid full of dreams and hopes at 16#for the people traveling with him to bsas#can’t stop wondering if Geoff was with like he did back in May when I saw them#waking up to Nialls post was so heartbreaking because I know what that is#I hugged my mom for the last time one Monday at 4pm without knowing that was the last time#she texted me at midnight about a concert we were planning to go bc she saw a 2x1 promo from a place near my house#and then just past 3am she wasn’t here anymore#I might never make sense of any of this of losing her and seeing Liam go in such a tragic way#I’ve accepted grieving is something I’m going to carry forever and I’m trying hard to be kind with the new me#but this just doesn’t end and some days I’m just too tired#those are days where I remind myself about the love I can see and feel while I’m still earth side
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watched secret world of arrietty potentially my new favorite ghibli movie... not potentially i think it legit is
#i watched fourr movies today 2 ive seen b4 and 2 new ones... arrietty was one of da new ones#the other new one was orlando pretty good i liked how likee. artsy it was... it was very cool basically i liked it and i rly loved the#costuming#i do wish it had subtitles on site i use tho bc i had a hard time understanding.. not da movies fault bc i have a hard time comprehending#dialogue in a Lot of older movies.. but i liked it :]]#but anyways yes. one thing abt me i was obsesseddd with borrowers as a kid it was part of my fairy obsession. i was sososososooso hopelessl#delighted by the concept of tiny people who live secretly and their houses and furniture are all fashioned out of#everyday human objects it made me fucking craaazy#me and my siblings favorite activity used to be building fairy houses... we even had one playground we loved specifically#bc it had a bunch of trees with little hollowed out areas under the roots which made the best fairy houses...#we had umm. for a while this is fun my mom had this likee. sheet she made that was like.. a grading sheet for playgrounds#so everytime we went to a playground wed check the little boxes for each thing on the list it had... like we had Curly slide swingset seesa#etc... and then wed also write in anything that wasnt on the sheet that we loved#and we wrote in Great for fairy houses for a lot of them.... it was rly rly rly fun i honestly think that might be part of where my love of#spreadsheets came from.. one thing abtme i looooove to categorize things by a set metric. so yes#basically :DDD I LOVE FAIRIES I LOVE BORROWERS!!! i rly rly rly wanna get into building those little miniature houses. dollhouses whyd i sa#minihouses LOL. i was thinking of likee studson studios type thang i forget what theyre called#ik they make little kits for it so id start with that but eventually id love 2 start just making my own...#i also used to watch those like. miniature cooking videos. they were my cocomelon i would literally watch them boil a droplet of water and#Lose my fucking mind KJASBDKUBSJ#or when they put the little miniature cake in their little miniature oven... i specifically am remembering the pancakes#I NEED 2 FIND THOSE AGAIN. I MISS THEM!!!!!
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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“You wanna see everyone naked. Why would you lie about that?” So you agree, you think he’s really bisexual?
#please please hear this as Regina George#saying#so you agree you think you’re really pretty#this scene man#like everything around them is so scary and chaotic#someone might be dead house is bleeding and losing time#and Wilson’s like yeah we get it you’re queer back your injury pls#house#house md
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