#we love it when gods start fucking around with shit and ruining everything /gen

[ratcandy]

OK SO. OC LORE BUR ACTUALLY

NOTE. THIS OC LORE ISNT ACTUALLY THAT GOOD

So some absent mother (Literally God) decides fuck it. giving the kids some fun by giving them some fancy universes or something. idk. so the kids end up creating some. fucked up shit. and then they got bored of the fucked up shit and decided to redo their fucked up shit. and it works

by now you've probably figured out

1) this is a really weird take on this one viddy gam

2) anon here is just someone on your server going insane and sending weird anon asks like usual.

sO. kid gods end up making a whole system for how the world works and stuff and just starts. fucking around with the people. just occasionally crushes them to death and stuff.

and we have some kids who are obviously Not Happy with this shit. like. ok so at this point i have to explain that this is essentially a concept for like. 3 games. one a quirky indie rpg. one a weird metroidvania with so mang endings it kills you. and one which is a rhythm game taking place in a fantasy land that also is the void. don't ask

so these kids, all of them have gotten fucked up by the kid gods bein idiots. theyve got dark and edgy backstories and shit. qnd so they end ip in this one area thats like. cool people zone. essentially the god dudes like you so theyre gonna sentance you to beings tuck in a fucking pit. at least you don't get hurt.

so all of them have different motivations to get out of this weird pit land. yea

also uhhh before i should say anything i have to say that most all of them are murderers and have done pretty shitty things

so one just wants to get to the god section to ressurect some person. that they killed. yea.

another wants their memories erased and thinks that just asking politely will help. they have a whole thing and now their goal is just to kinda reconnect with the people they kinda. broke ofd with. (they also killed like 57 people buuuut)

another just wants to escape because this place fucking sucks and also theres like. 4 people in the pit.

so they travel around and fight eachother and get a whole found family dynamic. and then the guy that killed like 57 people died because they die in all of my stories

at least they reached their original goal...

but that's another thing! yea

so some kid gets in the pit on accident (because of how 57 guy died) and now theyre existinf! also they kill the gods snd end the horrific cycle but now i'm tired od talkin so!

sorry for rant brai n scramble

"Isn't actually that good" mauls you

"someone on your server" my teeth are BARED. WHO. REACHES DIRECTLY FOR YOU

"57" and then I start giggling because I cannot do this. 57 makes my braincells go all haywire

on the note of the LORE, though, I am LOOKING DIRECTLY AT IT

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[psianabel]

Loose Legends Arceus thoughts, because I need to put them somewhere lmao tl;dr: I fucking love this game

Obvious Spoiler warning for literally everything

This game feels like a love letter to Gen 4 and Pokemon in general. So many ideas from previous games (catching priority from Let’s Go games, Wild Area from S/W) polished and put together, using pre-existing characters known to fans and making them “new”, giving them a new role while still keeping their characters alive - Oh my god how goddamn amazing this was. 

I don’t even know where to start. 

I’m so glad they shifted the focus of this game to the exploring side, it is such a well needed shift Pokemon needed. Yeah, it always was Gotta catch them all, but was it truly? Between the battles you had, going to gym to gym, battling and defeating over and over ... Legend Arceus just lives this phrase like no other game has before. And it’s the best decision they’ve ever done imo. To use the opportunity of creating the first Pokemon of a region is just top tier - wasn’t that why Pokemon exists in the first place? It goes back to its roots on a whole other direction ... Anyways enough about this, but while we’re at the core, let’s talk about the gameplay.

Fantastic.

It fits so nicely into everything. Not on a real competitive level, no items, no abilities - the fighting styles is more than enough to make battling interesting and honestly more than that would make this just Too Much. I don’t even want to think about some Pokemon having Levitate or Pressure in this game and in the end I’m so glad they don’t lol And really I don’t miss it. The battles were hard but enjoyable, especially boss battles. Not much else to say than this. 

This game makes me want to explore. The joy you feel encountering a new Pokemon you haven’t seen / caught before. To say “I want to go there” and you can just Go There. This wildnerness. Indescribable feeling. I don’t give a damn about graphics, and eventually you just get used to it. It just doesn’t matter tbh. (Still, had to smile and sigh when the models had white lines around them in dark areas. Ah well. They tried.) ENOUGH ABOUT EVERYTHING, THIS STORY GOD.  I honestly want to say this is by far my favorite story of all main games. The mythology, this reversal to Diamond and Pearl, with these characters - All these NPCs are so loveable on their own kind. This decision to make them “ancestors” or whatever connection they have, baited me right into it lmfao. Absolutely perfect on its own. 

We’re all here for Volo let’s be real and I’m so 100% with you there. 

He was the first “trainer” we battled - and honestly I didn’t even think this game had trainer battles but hey - so when he sent out Togepi I didn’t think much about it, but smiled at the Togekiss relation ... Cue me having a slight heart attack when he sent out a Gible in the second battle. A literal “oh no” came out of me, not knowing where this will lead.

Little could I have KNOWN. They pull THIS. But oh my GOD was it good. 

OH MY GODDD WAS THIS GOOD. anyways

“Pokemon Wielder” is such a cool term, I dig it so hard. My heart dropped as I heard the battle music. And when he sent out the Spiritomb. Oh my god kicked he my ass. Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to battle Giratina after this without giving us a heal AAAAA

This was the hardest shit ever. This Origin Form takes no prisoners. This CUTSCENEEEE holy SHIITTTT

I want to talk about on and on how incredibly amazing this is in correlation with the story of Diamond and Pearl. Team Galactic on one side and the Galaxy Team on another, Cynthia vs Volo, the search for knowledge and obsession with ruins and legends, the curious and calm and helpful vs the same but More. Much more. 

Volo is such a good character and I did not see this plottwist coming, but it’s still so Good and fitting. Who would have thought, who would have thought ... This game is just so wonderful. There can be so much more to say. The music, the dynamic music - that legendary battle theme. 10/10. That’s all I can say. There could definitely be more, but man. 

Such ... such a beautiful game. Please play it. 

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 17- Everything Changes

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n and Danneel talk which forces Y/n to share a bit of truth with Nova.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2934

Story Warnings: past cheating, Nova is not nice to Danneel, Nova is a very protective daughter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danneel looks a little shocked. Not like she’s shocked to see me, but maybe that she’s shocked that I didn’t run away and hide. She shakes herself out of it and smiles back at me. “Hey, sweetie. I guess we had to run into each other eventually, didn’t we?”

I nod and look back toward the dressing rooms. “Yeah. Austin’s big, but not that big.” I feel a bit uncomfortable as I gesture at the dresses. “I’m getting Nova some nice stuff for the Out Youth Gala.”

“Oh, yeah.” She nods and fiddles with her purse strap. Seems she’s just as uncomfortable. “Jensen mentioned he was taking her. I told him I’d stay home for this one.”

"You don't have to sit it out. You could still-"

"It'd be pretty tense. Jensen and I haven't been able to be around each other for more than a few minutes at a time in...well, in years.” Well, that’s a confirmation of Jensen’s words that I never thought I’d get. “Besides...a young bi girl, she deserves to rub elbows with those people. I’ve already met most of them.”

“Thanks for...giving it up this year.” I want to rub the back of my neck. I want to hug myself. I want to tug on my hair a bit. I’m tense and I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t, though. I keep my smile and I stay polite. I learned this a long time ago.

“Of course, sweetie.” God, that makes me cringe.

“Can you…” How do I say this without sounding rude? “Not call me that?”

She nods, understanding immediately. “Sorry. Default. I…” She runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a soft scoff. “I’m not really good at this. I should have just walked back out when I saw you.”

“No, no, that’s…” I sigh. “This is awkward. For both of us. Last time we talked, I was so angry and sad and-”

“And now you’ve got Jensen back and everything is coming up for you.”

That hits a little bitter.

“Danneel...I…” I scoff and shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest.  “The fact that I’m with Jensen again has nothing to do with the upward mobility of my existence...and, you know, I’m sorry that you and Jay didn’t work out, but I stepped out after you got caught together. You had five years to get him back and make things work.”

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." She shakes her head. "No, well, I guess a little. I just always thought one day he'd stop pining over you and come home." Guess she's still in love. Jensen just isn't a man who's easy to get over, is he? "Guess that was wishful thinking."

"I tried, Dee. I told him...I told you. I stepped back at every opportunity so that I wouldn't ever be in the way of your love."

"I know. From the very beginning, you tried to stay out of the way but we didn't really want that."

I roll my eyes. "You both wanted to have your cake and eat it but that's not how the world works." Not my world, anyway. "That Happy Family Fantasy? I talked myself into that. I tried to be what would have made you and Jensen happiest, but I couldn't do it. Trying hurt me. That single night that ruined everything…and when I realized that it wouldn't ever work with me and him and you, I stepped away, just like I stepped away when I realized my involvement with him was harming your marriage. I did everything I could to make sure you didn't lose him and-"

"What do you think of this one, Mum?" Nova's voice stops me and I turn toward the dressing room. She looks gorgeous...and angry. "What's she doing here?"

"It's a free country, Nova. She can shop where she likes." I clear my throat, try to get the bitterness out of my voice. "Genevieve is the one who introduced me to this shop. I assume that she-"

"I expected Gen to have better taste in friends."

"Not the time for the attitude," I snap at her.

"I don't have an attitude." She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Yes, you do and you need to stop."

"I just don't understand why you're standing there, talking to the woman who ruined your relationship with Jensen last time. You can't just-"

"It's more complicated than all that, sweetie." Don't talk, Danneel. She's already about to go into fight mode.

"It's not," Nova practically growls. "It's not complicated. He was dating my mother and you were caught shoving your tongue down his throat. That's crappy but it's not complicated!"

"Nova. Stop!" Mom Voice better work. I don’t want anything to show up on TMZ about a fight between my daughter and Danneel in the middle of a damn dress shop.

"No!" She did not just stomp her foot and-  "What, you think that just because you let Jensen fuck around with her while you were married to him that she has to be okay with him fucking around with you?"

My eyes go wide as she leans forward, trying to intimidate Dee. My heart starts pounding and I step between them, look up into my daughter's eyes. "Go get your clothes back on. Right fucking now."

"But, Mum!"

"I don't know who you think you are right now, little girl, but I am your mother and you're going to listen. Go. Get. Changed."

She stomps as she heads back to the dressing room. My heart is still going a mile a minute as I turn back to Danneel. "I'm...sorry about her. She...thinks she knows things and she...does know some things and she's protective and…" I scratch at my brow. "She doesn't want to see me break again."

"None of us do, swee-...Y/n. She's not wrong to be upset at me. Jensen's still upset at me about it."

I shake my head. "No, he's not. Did he never explain to you…" He really doesn't talk to her anymore. "It's not that he's mad at you, Danneel. He couldn’t come back because he had to change. He had to stop being the man that would ruin his life over selfish desires. You were...you were a constant reminder of what that old man had done. He couldn’t come back...not on his own, anyway." I don't know why that last thought escapes but it does.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Did you try to get him back?" I don't know why I'm asking this. Why do I care? "You asked me five years ago if Jensen wasn't worth fighting for. Did you fight for him? Or did you just sit at home, hoping he'd crawl back to you eventually? Did you fight?"

Because if she fought, if she tried, and he didn’t come back, that means he's really done with her. He really became a different man and he doesn't need or want her. He became a different man who just wants me.

"Are we leaving?" Nova asks as she hooks the hangers on the closest rack and approaches with her arms still crossed over her chest.

"Yeah. Grab the blue dress you tried on, take it to the register." She rolls her eyes and grabs the dress, walking toward the till.

"It was nice talking to you, Danneel." I start walking away to go pay for No's dress, but Danneel's voice stops me.

"I did fight. I tried. He wouldn't hear it." I look at her over my shoulder. "He was too caught up in the liquor and the loss." She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives a sad smile. "I fought for him. I lost him anyway."

I hate to acknowledge the elation I'm feeling, but it's there. He’s really mine. He's really mine and I won’t have to worry about her stealing his heart.

"I'm sorry, Danneel." It's all I can think to say. I know that losing Jensen couldn't have been easy. I walked away and it wasn't easy to lose him.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I never should have-"

"Things were complicated. They're less complicated now."

She nods. "For you."

Shit, I can't feel guilty about this. "Yes. Things are less complicated for me. I hope things get better for you." I head for the register and I pay for Nova's dress. Danneel is gone from the shop by the time we turn around to leave.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I-" Nova starts as we walk toward the car.

"Shut up."

She scoffs angrily. "That’s so rude!"

"Get in the car," I demand, tossing her dress in the back.

"Mum! I said I was-"

"And I said 'Shut up'." I drop into the driver's seat and wait for her to get in and shut her door. "First off, how fucking dare you say any words out of my mouth are rude with the way you spoke to Danneel in there? How dare you try to lecture your mother on how to speak to you when you obviously don't know how to speak to a woman who you probably don’t remember meeting and who did absolutely nothing to harm you.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but I keep talking. “I am fucking mortified that you would talk to her like that. You don’t know her. You met her once when we brought your little brother home from Vegas and you have no right to talk to her like that. She might not deserve your fucking respect, but I am not raising a disrespectful little brat. You can have your opinions and you can even voice them but you have no right to make her feel like shit about something that she’s been hammered about and called a homewrecker about for five fucking years. You wanna be a feminist, you wanna lift women up? You don’t fucking attack them for a mistake she made in the past. She fucked up and hurt me but you don’t even know the extent of it, because you are my daughter. You are not my manager, my bodyguard, or my fucking knight in armor, Nova. You are my daughter and I love you for trying to protect me, but I had that interaction handled and I didn’t need you flying off the handle at her. You weren’t even that bad with Jensen and he did worse than she did!”

She’s got tears in her eyes...and I feel bad for hurting her feelings, but...I’m right. She went too far.

“And while this is not something I ever thought I’d be talking to you about, you seem to think you know something about something so I’ll tell you that it doesn’t matter that Danneel and Jensen had an open marriage because that wasn’t what muddled everything up at the end and made them so bold as to be fucking around with each other while I was in Vancouver.”

“What? You--did something...happen before that?”

Again, not a conversation I thought I would be having with her...definitely not a conversation I’m going to have with her when she’s in trouble. “Doesn’t matter right now. What matters right now is that you’re fuckin’ grounded until the Gala. No electronics.”

“What?!” she exclaims indignantly.

“Yeah and if you don’t take your punishment gracefully, I’ll extend it past the Gala, too. You’ll get one night and then you’ll be grounded again. You want that?”

“No,” she grumbles. Me either, No. I hate being the bad guy...but I’ve always been better at it than Nate.

"When we get home, I want you to gather up your laptop, game consoles, and the cable box for your TV and put them in the garage. You can read a few books for entertainment."

"Okay." She sounds so dejected but...it’s what I have to do to get the point across.

"Good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll talk to Dee,” Jensen volunteers. “I’m sure she’s not-”

I shake my head. “I just can’t believe Nova went so vicious...and I think I’m going to have to tell her what happened back then.”

“You don’t have to. She doesn’t have to know.”

“She doesn’t have to know. But...she knows enough to be judgmental and-” What if she judges me afterward? What if she judges me for pressuring myself? What if she decides that I was in the wrong? What if she thinks it wasn’t cheating because we had a three-way, even though they both knew I didn’t want them together without me? “It’s better if I’m honest with her. If she decides to hold the threesome against me, then that’s...well, that’s her prerogative, but I think it’s better for everyone if she knows the truth.”

“You want me there?” he offers and I bite my bottom lip. I’d love to have the support, but…

“No. I think it’d be a better conversation for just me and her. She’s still kinda defensive around you.”

“Okay. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Tell Dee I’m sorry.”

“I will. I love you, Baby Girl.”

“Love you, too, Jay.”

I hang up the phone and head for the kitchen. I make a cup of coffee and sit at the table to drink it. I start running through ways this conversation can go, pieces of dialogue in a story. The conversations never really go like they do in my head. But I rehearse them anyway.

I finish my coffee and head up the stairs to her room. I knock. She groans and calls me to come in. I walk in and sit on the edge of her bed. She’s slouching in the bean bag chair in the corner, a book in her grasp. “When I got together with Jensen the first time, he was still married. I know you know that.” I look up at her ceiling. “Danneel agreed to an open marriage...but Jensen fucked it up. He fell in love with me. So, I left. I started dating Tom.” She makes a disgusted sound, but I keep talking. “You know this. Whatever post or article you read, you know this, but you don’t know that I started hanging with Danneel after Tom tried to rape me. We got drunk and I kissed her.”

Nova’s eyes go wide. “I was shocked when I did it, too...and I immediately told Jay. I felt so guilty and confused and...as soon as I told him, he decided that I needed to sleep with her.” I lick my lips. “He was a bit selfish back then. Pretty much very selfish back then...and he wanted both of us again. He admitted to it...that he pushed for me and her to sleep together. I couldn’t...but he really wanted it, us together...so Danneel and I came up with an idea...all three of us together.”

“You slept with both of them?” she asked, her voice a bit squeaky and very judgemental.

“Just once. I woke up the morning after and I couldn’t...I couldn’t deal. I felt dirty. I’d pressured myself into doing something just for Jay and Dee and it was bad. It was bad for me. Dr. McCauliffe told me that I should tell them how it made me feel, but I couldn’t. Disappointing them was something I couldn't do. I probably would have convinced myself to do it again eventually...and it would have broken me even further. I would have let it happen because I didn’t care about my mental health. I cared about them."

I'm afraid to look at her. Is she judging me? Is she disgusted?

"They both knew I didn’t want them touching each other. Not without me. But they both knew that I was unlikely to let it happen again...that I was having trouble with the first time and it was going to be an issue to do it again. That's why they...did what they did. They didn't think they'd get caught. They didn't think it would destroy me if they did."

"That’s worse!" she exclaims and I look over at her. She looks livid. "They knew you were falling apart!"

I rub at the back of my neck and nod. "Yeah, but they really wanted-"

"What you wanted didn’t matter? What you deserved? I can't believe them!"

"There’s a reason I had to end it all, why I had to get five years of distance. There's a reason why Jensen had to become a whole new man." I lick my lips and sigh. "They both betrayed me, Nova. They hurt me and it's taken five years to get us all okay and that's why I can't abide the way you talked to Danneel, because she lost everything too. She was selfish and horrible and she lost everything over it. She doesn't need a teenage girl giving her all this attitude over it."

She looks away and scratches at the back of her hand. "She deserved it."

"You don't get to make that determination." I lean forward and take her hand in mine. "I know that my mental break and breakup hurt you, No, but I'm the one they betrayed. I'm the one they broke...and I've decided to forgive."

"But-"

"But nothing. They've changed. I've changed. Things are better. Do you understand?"

She looks down and sighs. "I understand."

I pat her hand and stand. "You're still in trouble. But I love you, Nova."

"I love you, too."

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[infinitegalahad]

RAY IN THE BATHROOM

Summary: Ray is hiding in a bathroom and has a panic attack over the fact that his only real friend and the love of his life has (supposedly) left him for Brad.

Word-Count: 2.1k

Warnings: References of suicidal thoughts, ptsd, and severe anxiety. Brad is a semi-asshole. Hop on the angst train (with fluff at the end!)

A/N: I was listening to Be More Chill because let's just say that I can heavily relate to Micheal In The Bathroom due to recent events in my life. So then again, what better way to cope then using my biggest kin, Ray Person, in a totally not self indulgent fic?? Also as for the prompt requests-i'm working on them! Sorry, school has been bad. I'm keeping a promise to myself to release at least once a a week and I'm on a gen kill rampage. Idk what else to add so enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody

Masterlist | Send In A Prompt!

Ray doesn’t expect himself to be hanging in the bathroom at their first year reunion. But instead of “hanging”, he’s hiding. Those emotions that never come out are now coming back to haunt him. Ray knows he can't hide behind a shit eating grin and sunglasses. He leaned up against the tub inside of the cramped room, his sunglasses tucked into the neck of his polo as tears sting his eyes.

Ray’s legs felt numb and he knows if he looks into the mirror and sees his flushed face and eyes, he won’t be able to conceal his crying. He’s not able to go back outside and would prefer to fake pee or just check his phone in the bathroom.

“C’mon brah!” Q-tip whined like a child, crossing his legs. “This hurts like a butt cheek on a stick”

“You can’t come in!” Ray yelled as he held back a sob, “The little man is going. Suck it up, buttercup.”

Q-tip had been knocking on the door for over ten minutes before giving up and choosing to pee outside. Ray let out a shaky sigh and fell onto the thin side of the bathtub, biting his lip and he batted his wet eyes with his palms.

Ray and y/n had been an unexpected trio. Partners in crime, double trouble, you went well together despite their differences. You were an educated college student and he was a whiskey tango mess who couldn’t shut his mouth for the life of it. You cried, laughed, and did everything together. Little known to y/n, Ray didn’t have a crush on her-but he was more than in love.

However, when Ray is having severe social anxiety, an event he would typically rely on y/n to help him with, his “partner in crime” falls short. Ray knows that y/n is light years better than him. Here was the smartest and most beautiful woman he had met next to a college dropout who didn’t make it past Geometry.

Now the “perfect pair” is severed, leaving one half alone in the bathroom.

Ray’s forgotten how long he’s been in the bathroom for. These types of events always felt forced, and everyone knew that. Whenever that awkwardness would arise, Ray and y/n would choose to ditch and steal a few beers and sit in the bathtub, watching an obscure eighties film in the dark, cramped room with Ray’s god awful commentary.

But even though Ray has Born American downloaded, he can’t bring himself to watch it. Now he’s laying in the bathtub, picking at grout as he softly grieves. He’s hiding in there while y/n is ignoring all of their history.

Ray first arrived at the party, making a dramatic entrance. He made sure everybody knew that he was there, especially y/n. His original plan was to wear a purple tux he had snatched from walamrt since it was ugly as fuck, and Ray knew that. But knowing that you were going to be there, Ray made an attempt with an expensive navy polo and khaki shorts, courtesy of Nate.

Upon seeing you, Ray ran over from whatever he was doing to talk to you. Whether you were OD’S or a casual jumpsuit, you looked dead drop gorgeous-and Ray never knew how to express his affections. So he pulled you into a hug and muttered a shitty joke, and you just laughed.

Over the course of the next hour, the two of you catched up about your mundane lives. It made Ray feel guilty since he knew that you were better than him in every way possible, on the road of success. Your future sounded like you would go to some fancy school and then marry a lawyer. Ray wanted to be good for you, but he didn’t know how to at all. He followed you around like a lost puppy for the rest of the party, feeling a tinge of jealousy whenever one of the guys would give you a chaste hug or when you wouldn't pay attention to him for five minutes.

Ray didn’;t know why the fuck eh was feeling so sappy. It wasn’t like the two of you were dating (even though that’s exactly what he wanted).

Ray doesn’t hate Brad, but he just hates whenever he talks to you. He sees the two of you, smiling and laughing as you catch u[. Ray knows it’s rude, but he buds in and offers to get drinks for the “three amigos”. You kindly accept and Ray goes away to get drinks. He makes sure to spit inside of Brad’s drink as a childish act of revenge.

As Ray walks down the hallway balancing the three drinks, he pauses to hide behind the door since he hear’s Brad mention his name. You and Brad had moved to the couch, sitting too close for Ray’s comfort levels. He had an arm slung over the couch, which was barely touching you, but Ray had taken it as an offense.

Standing by the doorway and leaning, he overheard Brad’s words.

“Ray’s a little shit, whiskey tango loser, sister fucking, type of man. I don’t know what you see in him,” Brad had casually said, cold and straight to the point. He truly lived up to his name.

That’s when Ray dropped the drinks and ran towards the bathroom. He didn’t hear you respond, and that was the last thing he needed to hear.

Now Ray’s sitting in the tub, no longer holding tears back, but there coming out. A sob escapes his mouth and he tries to smile, but he can’t. He gets a taste of his salty tears and tries to stop the waterworks, but they come back, bigger and faster. It’s been a while since he had a good cry-but it happened at one of the most inconvenient times. And it was over a stupid girl-who he coulnd’t deny that he was in love with.

But y/n was lightyears ahead of him. Besides, Brad was (seemingly) a better fit for her. The scenario began to play in Ray’s wild mind. The memories of “double trouble” will get erased. Their wedding will be small, paid for by the Colberts. Q-Tip will DJ, Godfather will make a speech with his horrid voice, and Ray will make a shitty joke as usual. Worst had come to the worst.

Ray hears a drunk Q-tip sing along through the door to “I wanna dance with somebody”. His feelings sink even deeper cause it makes him think; now there’s no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore. That was y/n’s favorite hobby about these forced get-togethers.

Ray knew that at some point, he’d be forced to come out. As he chokes back the incoming tears, he waits until his face becomes dry, planning to blame it on weed or something in his eyes or the five bud lights he regrets drinking.

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Ray looks up and wipes his face, forcing a fake laugh. “Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon.”

“Ray, it’s me.” It’s y/n’s voice, and Ray can’t believe it’s her. A part of him wants her to come in, but the other part wants him to defend himself.

“Why do you want me to come out when you can hang out with your new big strong viking? Who talks all educated and shit since you just love being around him.” Ray spits out with a few sniffles.

Based on his words and the sniffles, you can tell something is clearly wrong.

You shake your head and lightly knock again, “Please, that’s not what happened. Brad’s an idiot, and we’re just friends. “Please, come out.”

Ray got out from the tub and came close to the door, feeling your frantic breathes again the door. “My biggest mistake was showing up. I wished I stayed up watching cable porn, or I offered myself. Besides, he’s better for you. Just go away.”

Hearing him say such things made you worry even more, afraid that he could do something to himself that he’d regret.

“Ray, open the damn door. Don’t say dumb shit.” You pleaded, frantically twisting the door knob. The worry was evident in your voice.

“No, fuck you! Fuck this whole place. You’re smart; just leave me alone.” Ray banged against the door as tears came down his face. He immediately regretted his choice of words, knowing that they would hurt you. He turned away to return to the bathtub, only to stop when he heard you now sniffling.

Mega fuck.

Ray reluctantly walks back to the door and opens it, to see your face, all red and wet like this. Both of you stood there, disheveled, tears both running down your face.

Not a single word was spoken between the two of you as you ran into his arms, pulling him close as you cried into his chest. Ray used his foot to slam the door shut and then proceeded to pull you into a bearhug, stroking the back of your head as he comforted you through your sobs.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He repeated as his tears stained your shoulder as well, “I didn’t-fuck. I’m such a retar-” He froze, knowing that you hated that word. “Idiot. I just-fuck. Don’t cry. You’ll ruin all the stuff on your face-”, Ray said as he tilted your face up and started to wipe your tears.

“Makeup. ‘S fine, I’m not wearing much. I just didn’t wanna get mistaken for a middle schooler again.”

Ray and you both let out a chuckle in the midst of your shared crying session. He’s still wiping the tears from your face as you rest your arms on his waist.

“First time we met, y’know. Godfather thought you had a dick for a long time.” Ray added, which earned another laugh from you.

You shook your head, “Remember when Trombley found out I was a girl?”

“Looked like he was about to shit himself-he wouldn’t leave you alone.”

“Ugh, ‘s a nightmare.” The two of you filled the void with the awakened laughter you shared. Ray’s tiny hands moved to your chin, directing it slightly up.

“I still think you’re pretty hot either way, angel.” Ray confessed. The two of you looked at each other for a minute, seeing the love and pupils widen in both of your eyes. Standing on your toes, you and Ray’s lips gently pecked at each other. You could taste the bud light on his lips as Ray’s lips overpowered yours, gently cupping and sucking passionately.

“Fuck,” Ray breathed through the kiss as your foreheads touched, “I love you.”

“Shit, I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” You chuckled as your finger’s played with Ray’s dark hair. It’s gotten longer, and it’s at a length where he can awkwardly style it, but since Ray is Ray-it’s a mess, “I love you too. I’m sorry about Brad, you know how he is.”

“I just thought you and him were having a moment. I just started overthinking it since I thought you didn't wanna be around me. Which is chill, I was vibing,” Ray attempted to joke, which was a way to cope with his pain.

You shake your head and hold his face to reassure him. Ray looks down at you in awe, which makes a smile curve on your lips.

“Brad wasn’t touching me, he just was stretched out on the couch. Ray, don’t say that. You were in the bathroom for over an hour. I knew that you were ethier upset or having explosive diarrhea from Nate’s vegan casserole-or both.”

“That shit was beyond nasty. I bet he got all the ingredients at Trader joes and sold his soul just to buy it.” Ray quickly quipped.

“Jesus, don’t make me vomit.” You huffed as you looked at the bathtub, “Now are you gonna come out now without beating up someone?”

“Yes babycakes, as long as you do one thing.”

Cringing, you force a smile. It’s not because you don’t love him, but sometimes what comes out of his mouth can be questionable. “Yes Ray?”

He grabs your hand, which fits right into his. “Gotta show the homies who’s the alpha around here.”

You don’t mind holding Ray’s hand. You like the tight squeezes and the feel of his soft skin. As the two of you walk out of the bathroom back into the life of the party with the smell of barbeque and the august heat in the air.

“Oh god Ray, shut up.”

Ray simply responds with a goosey laugh.

[ushiwakaout]

Lead Singer! Tamaki Amajiki with tattoo artist & lead guitarist S/O || MHA

Genre: Rock Star AU || Fluff || Self-Indulgent angst ||

⚠️ Warnings: Drug Use || Nsfw || Orgy || Mommy kink? ||

Words: 2k+

A/N: very self indulgent bc i love rockstar aus i’ve never seen one of tamaki so here it is! 

Gender Neutral Reader

Dude, don’t even get me started

HE SINGS LIKE JESSE THE GUY WHO SING SWEATHER WEATHER AND DADDY ISSUES

Can you imagine his singing devils advocate, holy shit he’d look so good MA’AM PLEASE

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT HE WOULDN’T DRESS LIKE HARRY STYLES 

He’s still shy and still has stage fright the first few times but your his lead guitar player (dated before the band was together)

Mirio is on the drums while Nejire is the bass player

It’s so hard not to pounce on him once he gets into his music like wow 

ESPECIALLY IF HE SUNG DEVILS ADVOCATE

You guys wear a matching matte black rings and people assume you’re married, y’all never say no so you’re gonna let people assume bc you’re fine with it.

You used to be a tattoo artist so many tattoos Tamaki has or will have, it’s done by you, he won’t want 

After every set he’ll either kiss you or your hand, it just depends if you go straight into the next set or not

He sings pretty boy dedicated to you bc if it where all to end, he’d be okay if it was by your side

The fans either ship you or they don’t 

It’s a little hard thinking that people don’t think you’re a good match but Tamaki always says that you’re his angel and he’d never fall in love with anyone else bc you’re his soulmate 

Some fans ship him with mirio and they both think its funny bc they’ve been best friends since they where kids so they don’t have a problem

But Tamaki does not, DOES NOT like it when they ship him with Nejire. Not that he doesn’t like her bc she, along with mirio, got him out of his comfort zone a lot (in a good way). 

He sees the way you’re smile fades when you see a post about their ship, people saying that they look good and all. It’s gotten to a point of wanting to break up with Tamaki just to make a handfull of fans happy

You’d do anything for his music to rise up the ranks, even if it meant losing your relationship

You’ve gone to mirio sobbing about this, it kinda hurt Tamaki that you didn’t go to him but you just couldn’t face him without the reminder of those stupid post

There was one day where a post said “look at the way he looks at her, he looks at her like he’s in love with her.” You looked at the picture for a long time and didn’t even realize the water works

You didn’t really mention it to anybody but when tamaki sang pretty boy, everyone could tell that it had a different feel to it

the set was over and before tamaki could look at you, you had already gone off the stage and ran towards the back locking yourself into the bathroom and kinda just letting it all out

god you hated this feeling, the ache in your chest 

Tamaki basically broke into the bathroom and froze when he saw you crying. He was so worry and so angry at the same time.

You both ended up crying on the bathroom floor together proclaiming your love for each other in such a snotty mess that it ended in laughter.

After that incident there was a long thread tweet of Tamaki explaining politely why he doesn’t like when people ship him with someone else other than his s/o or mirio (bc you don’t mind it either) people could tell that he was angry through the tweet and it was a lil scary bc tamaki DOES NOT GET ANGRY 

anygays- angst is over, sorry very self-indulgent. 

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN DOESN’T SMOKE DUE TO ANXIETY 

You guys have 21+ concerts bc it’s those type of concerts where u can smoke weed legally and drink

SHOT GUN SMOKE WITH TAMAKI HOT HOT HOT

Tamaki’s a lil high so he does it with mirio too and u end up doing it with nejire (your relationship def gets a lot better after the whole shipping situation bc yall talk about it and nejire ends up outing herself to you guys as a lesbian)

so if you’re a girl, Tamaki will def. tell her to watch herself when it comes to his girl but if you’re a dude- you guys are like oh... cool, good for you.

MMM  tourbus sex

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT AS A BAND YALL DIDN’T DO SOMETHING TOGETHER

you don’t Nejire anywhere near Tamaki tho, def a small cat fight while it happens 

TAMAKI GOT REALLY JELOUS WHEN MIRIO KISSED YOU OH MAN

Tamaki def fucked you several times while Mirio was listening bc TAMAKI WANTS HIM TOO KNOW WHO YOU BELONG TOO (cannon amajiki is a bottom and probably a pillow prince but fannon tamaki is a switch but in my head in this au TAMAKI IS A HARDCORE TOP)

Several occasions where you have to sit down during concerts bc tamaki ruined you minutes beforehand

FOR A FUCKING FACT yall do it in the dressing room and he just cums inside you and slips you’re underwear back on minutes before set AND U HAVE NO TIME TO CLEAN YOURSELF SO YOU’RE LIKE FUCK

mmm i love me some dom tamaki

Okay lets get to award shows

B E S T D R E S S E D C O U P L E A W A R D 

its something like this:  female / male

if y’all win something tamaki will NOT speak, way too many people are looking at him at the moment and he almost died during the pictures. 

“some many flashing cameras”

holds your hand tighter and y’all ask to get escorted out 

If y’all live together like only you and him, you’re house def is the definition of dark decor

if you guys every do get married, you aren’t getting a live band, everyone thought you did but it turns out it’s you guys in wedding attire- they love it.

Also very small wedding, somehow able to hide it from the pap and its like 50 people or so, mostly friends and like 1/3 family

100% LIKE PEWDIEPIES WEDDING. very very private but very nature/dark decor 

do y’all get wedding tattoos. yes. but not matching, not really.

do y’all tattoo each-other at the wedding... yes.

on your ring finger you have a sun and he has the moon.

you are the light that guides his threw the darkness  and he is your sun, always lighting up your life you know bc the sun lights up the moon

y’all just love eachother sorry

you don’t break up and y’all don’t expect to

BABIES Fem version

do you still play while pregnant yes

are people surprised, yell yeah

you gotta sit down tho bc your feet are killing you 

around the 6 to 9 month mark, the band goes on a break tamaki ends up going solo for a bit during the break and he makes you sing with him AND WOW do you get a larger fanbase bc of it. yes

angelic voice of a pregnant mother

it made tamaki horny, like how the fuck are are you so fucking great at fucking everything please let me fuck you god please

will whine, WILL CALL YOU MOMMY god yes

BABIES Male version.

Yall really wanted to adopt w one baby but the baby you liked had a twin so youre like HOW CAN U TAKE ONE AND NOT THE OTHER

they are twins but ones a boy and one is a girl

god you love them with all your heart

BABIES IN GENERAL (fem version yall have twins too, boy and girl)

they grow up to be band geeks, yall love it but your boy learns piano and the girl ends up playing the guitar (def not the outcome you guys thought it would be but you really dont care)

Let set names Mizuki for a girl, Haru for a boy. (legit beautiful moon and the sun)

Mizuki is very alternative meets fairy academia/ loves plants. probably a baby witch: has the same attitude as Tamaki

Haru is Dark Academia meets city pop / loves record, old gadgets and reading books: very much more like their other parent 

If y’all ever retire to just making music at home the kids are def. gonna take the band name and just put “The new gen” after it. You guys make fun of them for being unoriginal and they get pouty 

but they had you guys crying the first time they got a gig. they both sing, make music like billie and finneas and y’all just so proud. 

when you guys start getting older they will take you to award shows as their date to flex the fact that they are gen celebs who actually made something off of their parent success unlike some people

y’all just flex you’re kid bc they doing so well

just for shits and giggles (kids are like 22 at this point, you guys are like 46) :

Haru would probably get a girl pregnant during a one night stand and end up in a baby daddy situation

Mizuki probably steals Tamakis weeb and smokes it w lavander, you catch her and you’re like.... is it good? mother/father daughter smoke sesh

Haru is like “where’s mom, i need her to run by some notes- are you guys smoking? I’m telling dad.”

“It’s not like you’re dad doesn’t smoke either.” 

Haru and Mizuki are like “WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!” 

“Since always... how’d you think he got over his stage fright? It’s not like i could go down on you’re dad every time before a concert to lift his nerves.”

Fake gagging from the two kids. 

You guys a def the parents who kinda don’t care about your image but you don’t let your kids go off easy

They are good kids who kept good grades and never got caught while doing trouble- so they are well respected and have liberty to do what they like.

There ends up being an article about your family and the cover is you guys- all of you with your nails painted and eyemakeup

very very controversial interview with strict and non liberals calling you guys bad parents and such

and you guys also talked about the topic about how you cared for your children. explaining that you guys stopped smoking, stopped drinking, kept a healty diet until they where 15. once they became 18 it was a very open enviroment, letting your kids grow the way they want and not suffocating them. not shoving down their beliefs and likes- they grew up the way they wanted to with the care of their parents.

parents kinda hate you ngl, yall too great sksksksk

yall also play the game where they ask you questions and if you don’t answer you have to take a shot

Mizuki: “Oh ew, please don’t answer this question... Have you ever had- *clears throat* have you guys ever had sex while we where in the house

Tamaki gets all red and shoves a shot down your throat and now you don’t get to answer “But I wanted to answer!” Haru is cringing hard and he takes a shot himself “You guys are gross”

Haru asks a question and just HATES IT “Oh god... Okay- Only because I wanna know I’m asking parent number 2 (you’re parent #2) Is the rumor of you guys doing the dirty with your band true. Did you guys have an orgy.”

You start to laugh your ass off but Mizuki and Tamaki are looking at eachother bc they cant believe they’ve done this Haru def is out of his shy bubble and now Mizuki has it

“You want a shot papa?” She asked tamaki, he just nodds and she fills it to the brim, “I think thats enough.” But before he’s able to reach for it, She shoots it down and put another one full for him

“Oh yeah, that’s true. Kinda i guess, it wasn’t really an orgy- It was more like two couples doing it in the same room while doing it but you’re uncle mirio did kiss me.”

Kids: Forever gagging

Tamaki: Forever blushing

You: Ah sweet memories :)

Request are open! You can request anyone from My Hero Academia (low key wont write for tsu or uraraka. Will not write for mineta), Haikyuu, Attack on Titan or Balance Unlimited!

[addictofsupernatural]

Emotions (pt. 10)

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy reevaluates his relationship, and the both of them spiral.

Word Count: 2009

Chapter 1 • Chp. Masterlist • Chapter 11

"I can explain!"

"What the fuck was that?!" Billy yelled, freaked out.

"Billy, please calm down." You felt like you almost couldn't breathe. It felt like panic was taking over you and squeezing your heart. You really wanted to cry. What was this feeling? "Please."

He took some deep breathes and pointed at Neil. "How the fuck did you do that?"

"Please don't freak out–"

"Friends don't lie!" He shouted. You could feel your nose beginning to burn and the stinging in your eyes were starting up. "Tell me the truth!"

"Okay. Okay, um, I have powers. Like, like an ability to do something that, um, regular people can't do."

"You telling me that you're some kind of mutant?" He looked at you with an expression that he's never given you.

"No. I'm not a mutant. I was just born like this. My mother had experiments done on her and she died in labor. I, I just came out with my ability."

"And what the fuck is that ability?"

You've never felt this bad about yourself, you don't think. The way he was speaking to you, looking at you. The love of your life was looking at you like a monster. It was almost too much to handle. "Um, I can alter emotions." You squeaked.

"Emotions?" You nodded, and Billy paced around the room and ran his fingers through his hair. What if you were controlling his feelings? You could knock someone out from sleepiness, so you'd be able to do it, right? Was your whole relationship a lie? "Have you ever used that shit on me?"

"Well, once but it was an acci–"

"Get out."

"Billy I–"

"Get out!" You said nothing as you looked at his angry eyes, and walked out. You walked down the street, sobbing uncontrollably. As you walked towards the woods, it began to pour. You walked over to a telephone pole, and tried to think. Hopper's at work. Who else would you call?

It was about a few minutes until Joyce came rushing with her car. You got from the ground where you were sitting, and got into the car. "Jesus y/n you're soaking. Are you okay?"

As you told her everything she took you home and had you take a shower. She got you comfortably seated on your bed and let you listen to the radio that she got you for your birthday. She was the one who decided when your birthday should be, after all. You felt like a burden right now, and you didn't have to tell her anything for her to say that it wasn't any trouble when it came to you.

El saw this, and called Mike, who called everybody else. Jonathan drove everyone there, and soon they piled up in your room to check up on you. Everyone each got their turn to say something, whether it was helpful or not. "I knew he was a fucking piece of shit from the start." Dustin stated as they all looked at you on your bed.

"Yeah, he was a jerk anyways." Lucas said.

"Like, he just speaks out his ass most of the time." Max commented.

"Don't worry five," Mike said. "We got your back."

Jonathan ushered everybody out to talk to you. He sat on your bed while you still laid there in silence. "I called Steve. Maybe he could cheer you up." You nodded. "How're you feeling?"

"Like a monster." You sat up and rubbed your eyes, which were still puffy and red. "I just wanna be normal."

"You are normal." Jonathan said. "You just have something in you that others don't, but you only use it for good. That just makes you a good person."

"I don't want something extra. It doesn't matter how I use it. I'm either a monster or a freak."

"No, you're just y/n. The one who's always happy and nice to jerks. When I look at you, all I see is my friend." You gently smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I'm here!" Steve said, storming into your room. "Oh my God, that asshat really did it this time." He rushed over to you, grabbing your arms. "You're not hurt, are you? Your face..." He trailed off, trying to get you to laugh at how puffy your face was.

"Yeah, well you look like you just ran a marathon and I'm not even gonna start about your hair, so I wouldn't be talking." The three of you chuckled. "Thanks for being here guys."

"Your welcome!" Dustin called out from the other room.

"Hey, dickhead, way to ruin the mood!" Steve called out.

Just then Hopper walked into the house, and looked around. "Does anyone wanna tell me why my home is a day care center right now?"

Joyce grabbed her keys with Max trailing behind. "Talk to Jonathan. I'm going to take Max to get her stuff. She's sleeping over with everybody else."

"Every– what is happening?!"

As Jonathan and Steve explained everything that happened, Joyce and Max left. When they stormed inside the house, they saw that Billy had just put Neil on the couch. He looked at Joyce. "Who are you?"

"Who am I? I'm a friend of Hopper, and a friend of y/n buster." Joyce crossed her arms and pointed at him. "C'mon Max, get your stuff."

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Billy took a step towards Max.

"I'm sleeping over at y/n's to make sure she's okay."

"Max, you don't–"

"I know about it all dipfuck!" Max yelled. "About her powers and everything!"

"Yeah!– woah, language." Joyce said.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just cause he, like, really deserves it."

"Well yeah he does deserve it and he is one, but just, y'know."

"Yeah. Totally get it. I'll watch my language next time."

"Max!" Billy yelled, stopping the bickering between the other two. "You knew?!"

"Yeah, I knew. What does that matter? She wouldn't use it for bad things. She's a good person Billy. She's been through enough cra– um, stuff, for her to become, like, a supervillain or something, but she chooses to be nice and better."

"She's admitted to using it on me before though."

"Well did you let her explain the situation?" Joyce asked, causing Billy to fall silent. "Sometimes she gets so full of emotion that it just radiates off of her. She's not used to being so happy, but you wouldn't know that."

"Don't you have kids? You're really okay with them hanging with someone who could toy with them if they wanted to?"

Joyce got close to his face and pushed his shoulder. "I'll have you know that her and her sister were the ones who helped save my son's life. It is not their fault they were born that way, and they just want to be like regular people."

"Her sister..." He trailed off.

El. Billy didn't think about her until now. It actually explained a lot of things. Her lack of speaking fluently. Her shyness. Why she wasn't in school. He thought that she was homeschooled because of past foster parents or something. But it wasn't a foster program. It was a lab. She couldn't even be a kid.

This caused Billy to think differently. He had a soft spot for El, and it made him think about you. You were once like that. You must have struggled to make complete sentences at some point. When he met you, you were pretty shy. You probably didn't know anything about anything in school, and yet somehow caught up and even excelled.

You had to learn everything from the start and work hard because of it, yet you were bullied from it. Unlike El, you didn't really find any die hard friends. You had that one guy, but felt like you couldn't be around his without bothering that girl. And now all Billy did was make you feel a hundred times worse.

"Shit." He muttered.

"Yeah, now you actually start thinking. We're gonna leave you here to think. We gotta go comfort y/n now." Joyce said. "At least Jonathan and Steve are there with her right now."

Steve. He was probably hugging you, maybe making you laugh right now. He could picture the two of you together watching TV as you were snuggled up against him, smiling. And you needed that right now, thanks to Billy. He wasn't the one you were going to right now in your time of need. Damnit.

"Have fun with your guilt asshole." Max flipped him off.

"Max."

"Okay okay. That was the last time, I swear."

As they came back, everybody had situated themselves to where to sleep. All the kids slept in El's room, Hopper insisted Joyce take the bed while he was on the couch, and Steve and Jonathan were on the living room floor, where they had put a bunch of blankets for cushion.

They all let you have your privacy tonight. As you got ready for bed, you grabbed the jean jacket that had been thrown on your chair only a week ago. Billy had forgot it, and when you put it on as a joke, he said that you should have it. That you looked cute in it.

You put it on. It smelled like him, and felt comforting like him. It made you think of the memories you have with him. You could almost feel him brush your hair away from the back of your neck, giving it loving kisses. You could almost smell his cigarettes, when he tried to kiss you, but you were quick enough to dodge it and kiss him on the cheek.

Would any of that have still happened if he had known from the start? Would he had still loved you? Maybe it was really just a lie?

Billy went to his bedroom and opened his bottom drawer. He took out the small teddy bear with a leather jacket on and cigarette in hand, which you called Damien. He opened his top drawer and took out the polaroid pictures of you. Some were just of you smiling, some had the both of you, and some were of you unaware that he was taking pictures. There were also a few naughty polaroids of you, but Billy suddenly felt like he shouldn't be looking at you so exposed, so he put those back.

He laid down on his bed, with the polaroid pictures of you spread out next to him, and with Damien in his arms. He snuggled his head into the bear, and silently cried.

Billy was never really a crier. He would get choked up sometimes when he was being vulnerable with you, but never full on cried. He always had you to make him feel better. You'd clean off the blood from his face, and put some Band-Aids on him. You even bought him a first aid kit for his car. He can almost feel you lean up to kiss his forehead, tracing your thumb over his jaw. He could remember the gentle hugs you gave, so gentle it was almost as if you were afraid to hurt him.

You never messed with his head. If you had then those crappy feelings about himself and his dad would go away, but they never fully did. Even around you, he had some anxiety that he'd mess things up. If you really were controlling him, wouldn't he just have been happy all the time?

It wasn't a lie. You weren't lying.

As you were in your bed and recalled your fond memories with Billy, you decided that this was your fault. You shouldn't have dated in the first place. All you did was drag a good person into your life and issues, and that was selfish of you. Billy would be your one and only love, but you needed to give that up.

As Billy was in his bed and recalled his fond memories with you, he decided that this was his fault. He should have listened more instead of getting angry. All you did was try to be happy with him like a normal couple, and he couldn't see past your flaws. That was selfish of him. You would be his one and only love, and he's not giving that up.

---

Tag List:

@roxytheimmortal @shane-isa-shame @actuallyazriel @tanovic54321 @chipster-21 @jula-bear @ellie2468 @sassysmiles @frozenhuntress67 @fansanctuary @homewrites @tearsforhan @waymorecake4me @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @dustyblueboo @grave-details @marvellover48 @i-want-to-shoot-myself @jjlizz

[thecrenellations]

Thick as Thieves Undead-Blog, Part Two | when your liveblog wakes up to drink some broth then goes back to sleep smiling because it trusts you | my notes from reading the book for the first time, Spring 2017

Format: Page number. My ridiculous thoughts (Context???)

Part One

Chapters 6-13:

Ch. 6 - Very intense chapter in which Kamet and Costis are captured by the slavers and escape

163. Costis <3 Muscles Good looking! (wow what a way to start this post)

one hot piece of attolian manflesh ... confirmed (people would call him this on LJ! I forgot about it for several years until reading this passage)

164. omg earring swallowed!

166. amanuensis? (perennial thanks to mwt for all the vocab words)

168. shit. severed hand.

172. wtf Costis don’t kill him

173. how do you silently kill someone like that?

174. wow fuck

men dead not even breathing hard. (compare to KoA assassination)

Everyone is a monster!

176. Thieves.

Ch. 7 - Lots of good conversation, potentially symbolic animals, and a surprise Eugenides

183. Grt scene (apologies)

184. now who’s asking rude questions? (about killing people)

186. lying to him <3

ok! unreliable narrator!

wait i thought they didn’t have slaves in Attolia?!

187. “I was unappreciated” ... I’m always lonely

so cute

188. me when mwt writes: what is this blatant unabashed fanservice?

WHO IS THIS BOY?!

189. Onarkus =/= Sandy?

190. okaaay #confirmed Gen!

191. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Boots

195. he caught a snake (associated with a certain king and assumed bootboy “you viper” “you are a poisonous little snake” ... another ominous dead animal)

Is Costis’s earring for Eugenides (I was thinking of the god!)

196. a goat and a snake .... how poetic

Costis stalks goat ...

197. hmmm.... goat and hand and last trace of Nahuseresh (OMINOUS)

does Irene know her husband was a bootboy?

203. no this what? (“trouble with a maid” story exchange)

Marin?

204. he was prepared to run away??

how old was he?

well this is a lot to chew on

205. K using past tense for N

C asking about slaves killed after emperor’s death... does he know?

Ch. 8 - This road trip was going great until SOMEONE fell in a well

208. Are Taymets taller than Eddisian mountains?

210. time passing, broad and focused

212. MY Attolian

classic minor mwt characters

215. singing Costis???

216. swearing gimme a break

please don’t let the Namreen kill them later...

217. Kamet says very little of what HE did/his interactions w them!

218. wot nice cut! (“Eleven days later...”)

gods?

219. “water finds a way” a saying from Eddis? how does C know that? also brings to mind QoA weather passages

Why doesn’t Kamet ask/wonder WHY Gen wants him?

223. They’re gonna do it? They’re gonna make it? So close!

224. does Eddis have comparable irrigation engineering?

227. NO!

228. u idiot you meant to leave him before!!!

at least look in the freaking well!!!

229. Kamet’s Face! wow he’s really in shock (at weapons shop)

230. SUCH FAMILIAR PHRASING! birds :( (I was caught up in the birds and completely missed the spilled wine!)

Ch. 9 - Retrieving Costis from the well, Ennikar appears again

231. “You’re certain he’s dead?” nice CUT

this time i heard him say?

was he talking?

232. thoughtfully tensing his lower lip?

who tf is this guy - another god?

mm grr I’m Kamet I have no friends

ok so he’s what’s his face Enkidu?

heroes walk the streets

234. AAH why

say his fricking name?!

god you’re so bad @ this

236. THIEF

237. FRIEND OMG

238. omg so good flour!

SO CUTE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS

239. OMG Costis. Nice. (Costis tries the Gen method of deflecting concern)

241. “as if we were close friends traveling together???”

242. Costis ... knows a hero when he sees one?

But ... delighted? not horrified?

Ch. 10 - Hanging out with Godekker

247. SO MANY HELPFUL STRONG MEN (Enter Godekker)

249. PAY THE FASTENER

253. god so snarky

254. Kamet’s chops

fuck how is this book going to end???

256. You’ll never feel safe ... Gen + Relius’s fears?

258. Fuh!

259. Ok do i have hope?

he doesn’t have Tethys lesions does he?

263. aahhhh

Costis trusts him!!!! <3

aaahhh

264. Noli? where did he get that from?

smarrrt

265. yeah u did tell Godekker your name!

wtf is this god advice!

268. The So, so, so count in this book is OUT OF CONTROL!!! It may be a record.

Ch. 11 - Kamet’s stressful voyage

270. Lol Sophos is better @ assuming Attolian ships are there...

272. yesssss earring GOOD

274. yeah sure Kamet you still haven’t left!

I did not want to leave the Attolian!

276. watching Costis

277. my heart’s gonna break don’t leave, Kamet!

278. “as if the gods had cursed my wandering feet” nice. also iambic pentameter

also laying it on a bit thick there

280. Sea in the Middle of the World!

he’s so scared though. :(

the fuckin nerve!

Costis + Gen and their s3cr3t sign

281. nooooo it’s ok to lie, it’s endearing in this world!

also Costis seriously why do you think he would be ok w/ this!

I’m coming home! (to Attolia. In cursive, see image at top of post.)

282. war?

Ch. 12 - Dramatic times in Attolia

284. “I thought we were I + E” :o

shit where is his honor now (”I would have let you go”)

285. hey there Teleus...

my heart

285. yeah but C probs knows all those guards ... he thought punching Gen was the most embarrassed he’d been... (in retrospect, I don’t think he was embarrassed AT ALL during this scene. Costis fight mode was activated.)

yeah I mean she has given us the Magus all this time! (reflecting on the fact that Costis’s name has yet to appear)

286. Yesss angry Costis poking Teleus!

This is Something to imagine

287. THIS IS REALLY BAD (”the queen”)

OK...

holy shit

when is this???

she’s not THAT old!

288. THE room? (“filled with all the horrors I had fled in Ianna-Ir”)

289. 298 pages until this! (“Costis”)

289. Please stay alive Irene!

On some level I do feel that my childhood is ruined w the confirmation they banged. :( Gen is like 20! (Listen. I love them. I'm very happy for them. This is not exactly breaking news. 20-year-olds, and this one in particular, can obviously do anything they want. This note brought to you by me being Too Ace For This and having been both younger and older than him since first reading the books a very long time ago...)

292. Gggennn

293. Is this court respect a recent development? WHAT DID I MISS? (they watched him fight the entire guard, is what, c’mon me. Costis hit him on the head with an amphora.)

yeah we get it people underestimate Eugenides

OH MY COSTIS

294. is this Annux by any chance?

Boys ur making a scene!

King of Attolia vs of Attolians?

295. very ... dramatic

this is ... a private convo?

297. yup he’s Eddis’s best stalker!

Ch. 13 - Everything else that happens in this book!

298. “Do they know?” yeah wtf Gen

it’s like the new “and every1 was naked” (in KoA)

“and every1 was watching”

300. Gen: Yo Helen can u bring me that one coin?

Helen: sure. no prob

301. “Poor Costis”

yeah Melheret always sneaks up

302. “You’ve come from the prisons, not how an honored guest is usually received” UM ACTUALLY...

305. Kamet.... (crying in his room)

306. “the kind of Attolia sitting on the footboard” oh my god yeah classic

307. Irene comes thru with the stats

Was Kamet at the battle at Ephrata?

310. talk with the kitchen staff good god i would like to know. So bizarre.

lol toting around an ambassador all nite? What would Teleus say?

while Irene’s sick ...

WTF will Costis do now?

312. names ... Kamet ... Ormentiedes? 

Creeeeeeeeepy Relius (probably about “there are some questions you might answer for us” but possibly about the cutting up and feeding to wolves comment)

314. business arrangement uh sure

Yeah ok write it all down

316. talking to Costis?

(a note: the version I read was an advance reader copy, and the only major difference was that it did NOT include the scene with “the young Erondites”)

318. Attolia smiled at him!

anything worth doing is worth overdoing lol

319. alternate readings of poem?

322. orange trees!

cabbages!

324. sent Onarkus away RECENTLY???

Is Brinna Sandy!

Seriously. 

Cooks r weird (thinking about the entry for cooks in the Tough Guide to Fantasyland)

326. the magus!

an ACHING void

oh I know I’ll just GO!

poor Gen can’t have any friends...

331. they have duffles in Attolia

and with Attolian duffles, the story ends! Thanks for reading, feedback is welcome. I promise I have more developed thoughts about this book. For another weird journey, listen to my Thick as Thieves playlist, maybe.

[izzy-b-hands]

You Send Me: Chapter One

So, time for something a little bit self-indulgent, but that I hope y’all might enjoy as well! 

Title comes from the song by Sam Cooke, he has a voice smooth like butter and as beautiful as sunshine, so give that a listen before or after you read this, just so long as you listen to it lol. 

This is my first trans (FtM) reader/Freddie fic, with a dash of my usual gen Queen fic antics thrown in. I have it taking place during the American and Canadian tour that Queen was on in 1978, in a bit of an AU version of it where Freddie is A. for sure single and ready to mingle so to speak, and B. the crew would be willing to pick up a new road crew member that was a novice and take them on tour! 

I’m trying to keep it from seeming too personal to me, though I admit part of the reason I’m writing it is because this is also something I’ve been wanting to read lol. I didn’t intend for it to be multi-chapter (especially since I have another multi-chapter fic for a different fandom I still need to finish...) but that’s where it went! 

That said, if everyone seems a little rude and stiff in this first chapter, it’s because they (like the tour) are just getting warmed up, and we’ll get to some real fun and found family things as the fic goes on! 

Here’s to hoping I’ve done okay on this first chapter, and my love to all who read/like/reblog!

“New kid is gonna tip over,” John muttered, pointing you out to Roger. 

Admittedly, the amp was at least the size of your torso if laid vertically against you, but it wasn’t overly heavy, just kind of, and you didn’t think you looked all that awkward. 

Apparently, that wasn’t the case. 

“He can hear you,” Roger said after another puff on his cigarette. “Whisper, at least.” 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. The teasing, you had been warned, was all in good nature, and everyone went through it their first tour with Queen. No one was actually out to hurt feelings, at least not intentionally, and by the end each person had a new nickname from the band as a result. It was like the first odd holiday with a significant other’s family, or so you figured, having not actually experienced that yourself, but having heard horror stories. 

“He can’t hear me,” John protested. 

“I can,” you spoke up, fighting to hide how out of breathe you were getting holding up the amp. Where the fuck was Crystal with the dolly to finish moving everything? 

“Ah,” was all John said in reply, his eyes watching your arms as they shook just slightly. 

“For pity’s sake!” 

Before you could so much as try and readjust the amp in your arms, half of it was out of your arms and into Freddie’s, who had come out of seemingly nowhere.

“Waiting on Crystal?” he asked calmly, as if having to help out his road crew like this was utterly par the course. 

“I am,” you replied. “Should someone go check on him?” 

“Oh no,” Freddie shook his head. “He’s probably having a cigarette outside.” 

You nodded, then frowned and shook your head. “But he told me he’d be right back to put this in the-” 

The reality of the slightly mean prank slowly dawned on you. 

“We should probably set this down, shouldn’t we?” you muttered. 

“Got nowhere else to be except the next town over,” Freddie chirped, cheerful from how fantastically the show had gone. His eyes were still alight with the night’s adrenaline. “And this amp will need to come with us, so I won’t go until it does.” 

“It does get heavy, though,” you pointed out. Even Freddie’s arms were starting to twitch just a bit the longer you stood there, John and Roger giggling a few feet away. 

“Think we could leave you two here all night, doing that,” Roger smirked. “You ruined it, by the way, Fred. I had a bet going with Crystal on how long he’d hold it, you owe me a tenner now.” 

“We’d find plenty fun to do here together, if you abandoned us, thank you very much,” Freddie replied, sticking out his tongue at Roger before gesturing to you to help him set the amp down. “More fun then you’ll find with your tenner.” 

“That a challenge?” Roger smiled, his cigarette deftly plucked from his lips before it could fall with the movement. 

Freddie only shook his head before striding over and tossing Roger a ten pound bill from his pocket. “Come on now...uh...” 

He winced, and you realized you hadn’t even been properly introduced to him aside from being called ‘the kid’ (a ridiculous title to you, your argument being you were only a year younger than John, making you a respectable 26.) 

“Y/N,” you said, and ignored the giggles from John and Roger. 

“How does an American come by that name?” Freddie asked, but there was no malice in his voice. 

“Chose it myself,” you said, and shot John a look. He’d been wonderful and kind thus far about not outing your unfortunately still legal old first name to anyone, but he seemed into stirring shit up this evening, and you found yourself nervous. 

“I’d like to hear sometime how you came to choose that one,” Freddie continued. You’d been warned about this, in a good way, that he had a way for making a person feel like there was no one else in the room but the two of you, and that it could be overwhelming the first time if you weren’t used to that. 

You weren’t used to it, but you liked it. 

“Not really that interesting of a story,” you replied softly. 

One of his brows twitched just barely, and he smiled. “Fair enough, if you say. But I’d like to hear it regardless.” 

“Really?” 

Before he could reply, you all turned to the sound of footsteps heading out the door. 

“Did Crystal forget us?” John asked less to anyone but to the door outside as it slammed shut and the lights in the backstage area flicked off. 

The only visible light was the tip of Roger’s cigarette, as he puffed and replied. “Think that might be a yes.” 

You stood stock-still, afraid to accidentally trip over the amp and somehow hurt it. There was the sound of scuffling footsteps, and once all three of them seemed to be gone, you let out a soft sigh. 

“God, I know,” Freddie sighed. 

The urge to jump a foot was hard to resist, but you managed it. “I thought you left with them.” 

“Thought about it,” Freddie said. “But they’ll come back for us, and someone needs to watch the amp.” 

“I’m here,” you reminded him, though you didn’t exactly relish the idea of being alone in a theater that felt just as empty as you knew it was. 

“But why should you have to stay alone? You’d stay for me, I’m sure,” Freddie replied. 

“That’s a little bit different.” 

You couldn’t see the glint in Freddie’s eye, but you had seen it often enough and could tell by the weight of the silence that it was there. 

“Is that so? How is it different?” 

“Well,” you swallowed a breath, fighting off the odd set of nerves that had just awakened, as you hadn’t felt nervous around the crew or band aside from ‘new job jitters’ until now. “You’re the talent. I mean, my main job is just getting coffee, toting things around, doing what Crystal tells me, doing what you guys tell me, doing what anyone else tells me-” 

Freddie interrupted you with a giggle. “Make it sound more glamorous, why don’t you.” 

“It still is!” you insisted. “I mean, this is what I signed up for, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful-” 

He interrupted you again with a laugh. “Stop that, I’m only teasing. No one mentioned you were so sensitive.” 

You opened your mouth to reply, then closed it for a moment. “Teasing?” 

“Now he’s getting it,” Freddie smiled, and you could just make it out as your eyes adjusted to the dark. 

A comfortable silence settled over you both as you waited.

And waited. 

And waited.

Finally you both ended up sat by the amp, leaning just so slightly against each side of it. 

“He doesn’t do this often, does he?” you asked.

“Crystal? No, never,” Freddie replied, and bit at his lip. You could see the wheels turning, him working over exactly what Crystal’s deal tonight must be to have forgotten not only equipment, but band members and crew at the venue. “I mean, he’ll play that joke, have you hold something expensive and heavy longer than you should have to before he comes in to help you carry out and be packed, but if this is another version of that...” 

“Not a fan?” 

“Not really, no,” Freddie answered. “Not that I’m stuck here with you, just that we’re stuck here at all. I should be sleeping at the hotel, and you should be...well, getting into whatever mischief you want with the rest of the crew.” 

“I don’t think they’re interested in any of that with me,” you admitted. It felt safe to talk about it in the dark, when you could only just make each other out. “I haven’t really fit in yet, but this is my first tour, and I mean, I wasn’t even with you until we met in the first city here, and that’s not the time to get to know someone, I figure, and-” 

Freddie hushed you softly, sweetly. “I’m getting to know you, and we’re in a city, on tour, essentially working. What would prevent them from doing the same thing, in a moment or two of down time?” 

You didn’t have a good answer for that. You had tried to get along with the road crew, but in their defense, most of them had been on at least one tour before this. They had their methods, rhythms, routines, and you, as the new kid, were a kink in those that maybe wasn’t exactly welcomed. 

And of course, you didn’t want to think it might be the one thing you were desperately worried it was. 

It wasn’t like it was a secret. The only reason you knew the crew member who had gotten you this job was due to meeting him while in Europe, getting treatment for your transition. Presumably, he had told the band and the rest of the crew how you had met. 

But you didn’t want to think that you were transgender would be enough reason for the crew to avoid you, not when they otherwise seemed kind and accepting, like a family with their playful teasing and poking at each other, even at the band. 

But. 

You couldn’t know for sure that it wasn’t the reason. The reason they hadn’t mentioned the nights they were going for drinks after a show, didn’t seem to be interested in getting to know you. 

It was like Freddie could see clear through you in the dark. “I don’t think it’s for the reason you might be thinking about. And if I should find it is, please know they would be talked to straight away. That wouldn’t be acceptable, not in our little touring family.” 

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Thank you. I don’t think it’s that either. I hope not, at least.”

“Like I say,” Freddie said. “If you should find out that would be the reason, you let me know, and I’ll set them straight. But I’d gather it’s just because they’re not used to having new blood on the crew. You said this is your first tour?” 

You nodded. “But I worked at a venue in my hometown before. So I know how to do it once you get settled, it’s the in-between bits I’m still learning, maybe not as fast as I should be.” 

“I can’t speak for the rest of the crew,” Freddie said. “But I think you’re doing just fine. Don’t fuss over it, even if they get on you. You’re doing your best, right?” 

You nodded again. 

“Well, you can’t do anymore than that,” Freddie said with a finality. “And I’m told my standards are sky-high and ridiculous at times, so if you’ve impressed me, then surely you must be doing well, right?” 

“I suppose,” you replied with a smile. “But that’s not the impression I have of you. You’re the first band member to even talk to me this much.” 

The light from the opening doorway filtered in, and with it you could see the concern on Freddie’s face at that last statement. “That will change.” 

He said it as a fact, and you weren’t about to question him as he gently took you by the arm and led you outside, brushing past Crystal and another tech as they stumbled in with myriad apologies falling from their lips, reaching to pick up the amp for you before they were even close enough to do so. 

“Thank you for staying with me,” you said as the two of you reached the tour bus. “And talking to me, and just...everything. I feel a lot better about being out here, like I might belong at some point.” 

“You belong now,” Freddie said, almost sternly, yet kindly. His eyes met yours, and there was an intensity behind them. He meant what he was saying, that much was incredibly clear. “Don’t let anyone tell you different.” 

His hand lingered on yours for just a moment before he stepped onto the first step into the bus. “And we’ll be talking again, of course, so if anyone should try and tell you otherwise...” 

“I let you know,” you replied, and tried and failed to hide the blush that rose to your face. This wasn’t something to be taken the way you were taking it now, you knew from everyone else that Freddie charmed pretty much everyone he got to know. 

But it was sincere in the kindest, warmest way, and the way his eyes had met yours, and his hand had lingered left you going over that part of the night over and over again in your head. Even the news of the need to drive through the night now, since the crew had accidentally messed up the time table some with their unintentionally long prank on you and Freddie, didn’t shake you from the reel of the night playing in your mind. 

[littlebird-99]

Just Like Us

Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Langage, a little smidge of angst.

Summary: Reader is a fan of the show, and Jared's little sister, being a year younger than he, he told everyone on the show that she was off-limits. Especially to Jensen, he would not let that happen. But, do you really get to choose who you fall in love with?

Prompt: I’m sorry if it upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.

A/N: Written for Lulu’s 4K Writing Challenge, Congrats on 4K @holylulusworld!! Any and all mistakes are mine, please don’t re-post my work anywhere without my  permission, Read more HERE, italics mean a flashback

                               ♡.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡♡

Y/n laughs as Jensen picked her up after they reach her standing with Gen and the boys at the airport.

"Hey, Jay!" She grinned, hugging him, before she slowly pulled away and quickly went to hug her brother, "Jare!" She grinned after he had hugged his wife and kids.

Jensen watched as she hugged her brother, biting his cheek as he shook his head gently. He and Y/n have been dating secretly for about a 1 year now, which is honestly shocking for him considering he sees Jared every day on set and every time he goes over to see her.

He remembers the first time Jared was bringing her to set; he told everyone that she was off-limits, Jared's eyes landed on Jensen longer than anyone else.

"Alright, I'm serious everyone alright! No one, will date my sister, she really doesn’t need to be dragged into the celebrity drama, she's perfectly fine where she is, and if I find out, I'm not talking to you for a while!" Jared stated loudly, his eyes staying on Jensen longer than he wanted to, but he meant everything.

Jensen rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a laugh, and continued walking for makeup, until he heard a small squeal, "Jarebear!" He turned around and spotted a rush of Y/h/c hair rush for Jared. Jared laughs, "Hey sis!" He grinned, holding her before he set her down softly.

Jensen walked over and introduce himself, get that over with so he could go back to focusing on the scenes they were about to finish filming, but as soon as his green eyes me y/e/c he couldn't move, he felt at peace, and calm, but his hands started to sweat, "fuck.." he breathed out quietly.

Her smile widened as she saw Jensen, "oh hi!" Her voice sounded like honey, 'dammit Jensen stop it! That's your best friend's little sister' he smiled and nodded, "Hi" he mumbled, earning a raised brow from Jared before he shrugged hit off, "so, you must be sasquatches baby sister" he smiled earning a laugh from her, 'god even her laughs perfect, fuck I'm screwed.. ' he thought, "sadly that's true" he teased laughing.

Jared laughed and shoved her gently, "I'm a joy to be a sibling too" he grinned, "uh... about that" Y/n started but squealed as Jared moved to pick her up, but she hid behind Jensen, making him chuckle, "nope, don't, definitely do not bring me in the middle of sibling issues" he laughed, making her grip her arms around his waist, hiding behind him more, "sorry, suck it up" she quipped back, earning a soft chuckle and a shake of the head.

"Earth to Jensen, hey bud, ya alright?" Jared asked lightly, Jensen glanced around, shaking his head slightly, "oh.. uh yeah, sorry, just tired is all" he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck lightly, "we should head out, I'm sure the kids are beat" he smiled.

Y/n laughed softly, "which is why I'm taking you home, and then Gen and Jared are heading straight home, I got to head to my place and it's near yours," she said lightly, earning a nod from Jared and Gen, before they all hugged bye and left separate ways.

After Jared was out of sight, Jensen pulled Y/n tightly against him, kissing her gently, his chapped lips softly moving against her soft ones, before she pulled away first, "God I missed you," he muttered, his forehead against hers, still keeping his eyes closed, she smiled lightly, "tell me about it.." she huffed lightly, "let's head home" she grinned. She moved and pulled him for his truck, earning a laugh from him, "you seriously drove that?" He asked.

"Hey, you told me I could, Ackles" she grinned, winking playfully, "now come on," she moved for the driver door as he put his suitcase in the truck's bed, "ya, nope, let me drive baby girl" he stated lightly as he moved and picked her up, not letting her get in, she rolled her eyes, shaking her head, "nope, now, c'mon Jay, get in the truck and let's head home."

A Few Weeks Later

The boys were getting ready to leave for the set again in a few days, but she couldn't breathe, Gen had found out about her and Jensen and that meant she told Jared, but it slipped out on accident because the two girls talked.

She could hear the yelling coming from downstairs and she shakes her head before she moved and went to walk downstairs, but Gen stopped her, earning a growl past the young one's lips, "back off… you've ruined enough. I need to go down there" she stated quietly.

Gen nodded, "I know… I just wanted to say I was sorry, and I really didn't mean to tell him, I'm so sorry" she spoke gently, Y/n glanced back at her, biting her cheek before she moved down the stairs quickly, opening the door.

"No! Jared, you don't under-"

"You better not tell me I don't understand because I told you all she was off limits! No one could date her," Jared growled, interrupting Jensen, "but apparently rules don't apply to you huh! She's my baby sisters Jensen! And you don't have a great rap sheet with women!" He yelled.

She was fuming, but before she could say anything Jensen muttered.

"I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her." He stated softly, "that's why I came over here tonight Jared." He stated.

Y/n stood frozen in place, she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, did she hear him right? She never thought about marriage, well she had, but she didn’t know he was.

"I came over here to spill the beans, and ask you if I could marry her, we've been together for a year now, and I love her more than anything, more than words can say," Jensen started, he continued, "she makes my world brighter, my heart race whenever I see her or hear her name or her voice. She's my world Jare, please.." he stated. "I want your blessing to marry your sister, I know you don't want to say yes, and you want to beat the shit out of me. But I love her"

Jared watched Jensen closely, biting his cheek as he did thinking it and everything else over. "You really love her?" He asked, biting his lip now. He doctored Y/n standing in the door, and chewed his cheek, "why don't you just ask her?"

Jensen raised a brow before he turned and saw Y/n, "B-Baby… hey," he blurted, scratching the back of his neck gently.

Jared watched his sister's reaction to hearing Jensen say this about her before he knew it, she was in the room, hugging Jensen tightly.

He couldn't deny he had noticed a change in his sister since, well, since I had introduced her to Jensen. She had been happier, smiling more, especially when he was around. Why didn't he notice it before, all the signs were in front of him, all the lingering touches, the little glances at each other?

"Fine.." he stated, "you can marry her, but I swear to god Jensen.. you break her heart, we're done as friends, I can work with you onset, but that's it." He stated. “no more game days, no more barbeque's, nothing, you’ve lost my trust and friendship if you break her heart.”

Jensen nodded lightly, holding Y/n tightly, before he pulled away, "I promise... I won't hurt her, she's my world Jare, and I mean it" he stated. Jared nodded and walked away, heading upstairs, needing something strong at the moment.

Y/n looked up at Jensen, watching him as her eyes started to glaze over.

Jensen blushed lightly, pulling something from his pocket. "I had a whole plan on how I would ask you, we're gonna go to the music festival in Texas, and hang out, listen to music all day, then we would go to the beach and watch the sunrise, and I would ask you then..." he whispered.

He got down on one knee slowly, biting his cheek, "Y/n Y/m/n Padalecki, you are my world, my stars, my moon..  you're my everything and I didn't know I needed you until I met you. Now I can't imagine my life without you, baby, you make my heart race, my mind worries when I'm not with you. I want to grow old with you, I want to watch our children grow up, and then watch out grandchildren grow up too, so… baby, will you do me the honor and become Mrs. Y/n Ackles?" He asked quietly, his voice breaking as he talked.

Y/n nodded quickly, tears running down her face, "yes! Yes, Jensen" she cried, he quickly slipped the ring on, moving and kissing her deeply after he stood up.

Jared groaned, hearing them downstairs and nodded, "Jensens literally gonna be my brother now.." he couldn't help his grin and nodded, "I'm just happy it's him and no one else..  there's no one I would rather trust" he stated, making Gen smile, "why didn't you just tell them you knew?" she asked, figuring out what he had done.

He shrugged, “they tried keeping it from me, but I knew from that day on set, that Jensen and she were both done, screwed, and the way he couldn't take his eyes off her, and he couldn't talk. They were made for each other baby, just like us," he grinned and kissed Gen gently. “That’s the whole reason I brought her to set, I knew they would get along” he admitted lightly.

TAGS: @donnaintx

[deanie1987]

THE WEDDING POST!!!!!!!

Okay, I have now watched the episode in full like 8 times and it has been absorbed into my bloodstream and I feel stable enough to finally comment on it. For the most part I loved it and it delivered nearly everything that I wanted, even if it was delivered differently than I hoped for/imagined. There were definitely some missed opportunities I thought, but there really was nothing that I outright hated and I was pleasantly surprised for the majority of the episode. Here are some random thoughts as I was watching:

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - Lip chewing gum is hot as fuck

- I knew I was in for a special episode when Ian showed up in a towel followed shortly by Mickey in a towel. They have been hiding Mickey’s thicc sixpack all season and unveiled it here as wedding gift to the viewers.

- Cam’s line reading of “Mickey” when Liam asked who was going to wear white, sweet baby jesus. Why does it always sound so good coming out of his mouth?

- I love all the brother scenes. Carl clipping his toenails, Ian griping and then Carl wiping them on the floor was hilarious. Although considering it was his room, what does Ian care? But I love that he did. Very anal (no pun intended) big brother vibe there. Liam hightailing it out of the room the second Mickey walked in and headed toward Ian was a mood. The shit this poor boy has seen.

- I also loved everyone asking Ian about his meds, especially Carl. That really got to me for some reason, as did everyone giving the reason that it was going to be a stressful day. Like they weren’t asking to be assholes, they were just concerned and wanted him to have a good day. Little did they know how stressful. I liked that Ian didn’t get made, but you could still sense a tiny bit of annoyance.

- My second notice that this would be a different kind of episode was Mickey asking if Ian took his meds and then touching him gently under the chin and saying “good” in a very, very deep and low voice. Um....holy shit that was beyond sexy to me for some reason. Like I almost felt like I was intruding. The way Ian’s eyes were fixed seemingly on his chest/tattoo and then the way Mickey forced him to look up at him.  Wow. Ahem.

- Ian obviously thought it was sexy as fuck too because he yanked him by the hips and grunted and pulled him in for some more caresses. So yeah, this was a lot different than the “hey what’s up bro?” scenes we had been getting. I mean there wasn’t a tongue kiss, but I appreciated it. I also appreciated that Mickey and Ian had no problem not only seeing each other before the wedding but showering together and messing around too. Poor Carl, he needs to take not of Liam’s reaction. 

- Along these sexy lines, there is no way that anyone should find the violent biting/hitting scenes sexy. Like no way that Ian saying “you gonna make me hit you again?” and manhandling Mickey’s wrists to the ground and saying “you done?” in a softer voice while straddling him and then throwing the gun to Carl and telling him to get the cuffs, was sexy. And it definitely wasn’t sexy that Mickey finally calmed down and looked right into Ian’s eyes and nodded. Like, no way, we shouldn’t be romanticizing that shit. Okay? Ok. Ahem. Ha Ha 😅

- I could not survive Kev’s keg boot camp, but I will take his comment about Depeche Mode-loving Gen Xers” as a personal shout out because I put their song “Somebody” at the very top of my Gallavich playlist. It is the cheesiest, sappiest song known to man and my girlfriends and I would play it on repeat and get weepy in high school. And it fits Ian and Mickey perfectly and even out cheeses that Ed Sheeran song. See Gen X can do more than irony.

- Obviously I loved Mickey’s handcuffed speech, but I wish that there had been a reference to that terrible cursed episode in season 3. Not the rape, but the fact that Terry forced Mickey to marry a woman and that it basically ruined their lives and set Ian and Mickey on a destructive course. Nearly everything that they went through started with that terrible day. It was definitely subtly reference and I definitely think that Ian was thinking of it, but I wish it had been stated more clearly.

- I love that Sandy was wiling to go to jail to get Mickey his wedding. I love that Debbie was possibly willing to marry Mickey to get him his wedding as well. I definitely loved all of the Gallaghers rallying around to help.

- The tie scene was beyond cute and this was the kind of scene we have been waiting for and both Cam and Noel delivered. I love how sincere Mickey was in this episode and how straightforward and reverent this conversation was. The kid conversation, Ian telling Mickey exactly what he wants and Mickey revising his statement in response. It was a perfect statement and this scene was so intimate. I truly didn’t think we would get this before the wedding so I’m thrilled that we did.

- Why does everyone keep referencing the combination of Mickey and Ian’s genes? Do they know where babies come from? Have they read too many Mpregs? 

- I loved the shot of them first arriving and the mention of the chairs. Mickey’s “I like how the gold captures the light” made me giddy. Then the long shot of them sort of taking in their surroundings and the impact of the day. The other shot I liked was them at the alter with a bit of the “deer in the headlights” look. You got me John Wells, you sneaky bastard.

- I loved everything about Kevin this episode even if it is beyond tacky to propose at someone else’s wedding.

- I had to mute the Gay Jesus crows singing “We Shall Overcome” because ugh and cringe, but Ian having a cult at his disposal may come in handy someday. I hope he thanked them and let them glory in his presence for a little bit. I also liked that Carl and Geneva were so familiar with one another. Lol.

- All of Ian’s interactions with his siblings were perfect. I wanted but didn’t get a scene of Ian asking Lip to be best man and also a best man speech (or any speech for that matter) but the “soft motherfucker” scene was adorable and very moving. I love that the only person besides Mickey that we have every seen Ian say ILY to was Lip.  That is pretty appropriate and the kisses were sweet too. I, too, am a soft motherfucker and that swell of music to At Last got me. 

- I liked how nervous Mickey was walking down the aisle, and I was happy that Sandy was there for him. But I sort of felt that him walking down the aisle on someone’s arm was a little too “bride” for me and I think I would have preferred to see him walk down the aisle by himself while grinning and walking his patented BDE Mickey walk. But his solemnity and serious was an unexpected choice and I appreciate them going with it.

- FRANK!!!!  Oh my god that’s where my tears started. I was really hoping for a Frank/Ian scene but his tears will have to do. Wow, I just wish that Ian could have seen them. The utter disdain the two have for one another usually makes me laugh, but it felt wrong to me in this episode, at least from Frank’s side, so I was glad that it seemed that Frank’s emotion got the better of him. I definitely think that the spectre of Monica had something to do with it, but it was there.

- SPEAKING OF MONICA...wahhhhh!  My favorite scene I think. It is no surprise that it comes when Ian is watching Frank and is sitting next to Debbie. I”ve already said this before but Debbie was the perfect person for Ian to talk to about this. I love how Ian still calls Monica “mom” and Debbie still called her Monica. And she was right, Monica would have loved everything about that day. Emma Kinney did a remarkable job in that scene, and she looked beautiful. The chemistry of the actors was palpable and it was just so nice to see. I also loved Ian’s slight laugh as he felt himself tearing up and then his choked voice as he said he should dance with his husband. Waahhh. Followed by Debbie’s sweet, sweet smile and then Ian finding Mickey, who had been dancing adorably and looking around for his boy. Then the way that Ian clung to him and collapsed into him, while the perfect and cheesy song played.  WAHHHHH!!!

- Also can we give it for Debbie yet again. Not only did she miss the ceremony in order to save the day, but she missed Franny walking down the aisle.  That is commitment and sacrifice and we appreciate it!

-I had hoped for personal vows, but I am at least glad that they recited them and didn’t just say “I do.” Once again, Mickey’s earnestness and seriousness surprised and delighted me, 

- I loved Ian grabbing Carl on his walk down the aisle. As I mentioned, every scene of Ian and his siblings was character appropriate and I loved this one too.

- Them having 120 people at the wedding was kind of dumb and ridiculous, but I did appreciate how true to life the variety of outfits was at such an event. From ripped jeans to gold lame dresses LOL. 

- That last scene of them was cute too. The hand holding, the nudity, the TATTOO again and Ian’s hand hovering near it. Mickey caressing and pinching Ian’s arm, their TWO rings, the hideous room and their tired, happy, sleepy voices. Perfection. I don’t love how Terry’s murderous rage is somewhat played for laughs, but I admit that I did kind of chuckle at their expressions when they heard the tires screech and then the last shot of them looking at one another while the jaunty music cut in. It was very, very, very much like a rom-com.

So there was a lot to absolutely love this episode, but there were a few missed opportunities as well.  I mentioned the lack of personal vows/family speeches and lack of any significant Frank/Ian interaction, but other than that the only thing that really bothered me was the lack of any Fiona or Mandy mention. That was actually a huge missed statement and it would have been easy to do. I find it more believable that Fiona would miss the wedding than Mandy, but to not mention either of them was a bad move, IMO. I liked Sandy and the role she played, but she doesn’t make me forget Mandy, show. And the lack of Fiona mention just makes me think JW was being petty toward ER.  But beyond that, THEY ARE MARRIED AND HAPPY AND SUPPORTED BY A LOT OF PEOPLE!!!  HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE GAY JESUS!!!

[arcturusblackiii]

Title: The stars may be covered by clouds and the moon may be new (but your smile is all the light I need)

Fandom: Harry Potter Wordcount: 1820 Category: Gen Warnings: Implied/referenced child abuse Rating: Teen Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black Characters: Regulus Black, Sirius Black Summary:

The year is 1977 Its been several months since Sirius ran away

Its the new Hogwarts year, and Regulus has finally, finally worked up the courage to talk to his (disowned) brother. Sirius worries about Regulus and Regulus attempts to convince him that yes, he's fine. He isn't exactly convincing, and Sirius has him make a promise.

Otherwise summed up as "Sirius and Regulus talk out their emotions and things look towards the better"

Tags:

Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sibling Bonding, Sirius Black is a Good Brother, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, Good Regulus Black, circa 1977, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

For @youurelovely

Mid October, 1977

Sirius’s 7th year, Regulus’s 6th.

Regulus sat on a bench by the edge lake, staring aimlessly over the water. Watching it ripple.

He had his gaze fixed on a spot where he was particularly sure there was a turtle of sorts.

It’s late.

Of course it's late.

The sky is dark, the moon new.

Clouds blotted out most the stars, making the night somehow even gloomier.

It was cold, but not bitingly so. Regardless, the thick robe he wore kept the cold out.

Overall, it was exactly the sort of night he would have expected to meet Sirius on.

He wondered if Sirius would show.

He doubted it.

After all, why would he?

Why would he bother with sneaking out to see him of all people?

Risk getting detention and other various consequences.

He wasn't worth that.

Besides, Sirius hated him.

He knew Sirius hated him.

He’d made that clear.

He didn't even know why he was trying this.

What were the outcomes even, Sirius coming and them fighting, or Sirius not coming and leaving the aching hole in his chest wider.

There was no good outcome of this.

He was pulled from his musing by footsteps.

He resisted the temptation to look over his shoulder and see who was coming, and kept his gaze fixed on the water.

It could only be Sirius.

Well, it technically could have been anyone.

But it was most likely Sirius.

His suspicions were confirmed when Sirius sat down next to him.

Regulus exhaled a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding.

“So..” Sirius started. “I’m here.”

He didn't seem angry, or exasperated, or even annoyed.

It was more reassuring than anything else Regulus had tried to calm his nerves about this. “Sirius.. I..”

There was so much he wanted to say, but he said none of it.

He didn't even know where to begin with this conversation.

“How have you been?” He asked after a moment, desperate to break the choking silence.

“Better than the last time we properly spoke.”

Sirius responded effortlessly. Like every word wasn't hard to get out.

Like it was easy to talk to him.

Like talking to him wasn't stressful.

Like things were normal and okay. Like he hadn’t run away. Like there was no hundred kilometer chasm between them growing wider by the minute.

Regulus drew his knees to his chest. “That's good. I’m glad you’re okay.” He spoke softly, keeping his eyes fixed somewhere far out over the water.

If he had looked at Sirius, he would have seen how his expression moved from curiosity to more worry.

“Okay. What's up with you, you’re never like this.” He knew Sirius was looking at him, seeing if he could spot anything glaringly wrong.

He also knew that if he looked at Sirius, he would probably tear up and that wouldn't be good for anybody.

Because if he started crying, that would just complicate things even further.

He thought of Walburga’s anger, growing hotter by the day, and Orion's forced indifference and cold disappointment. He thought of the cuts and bruises over the summer. The broken arm. Thought of Walburga’s growing desperation to redeem herself in the eyes of the other pureblood woman she would see at parties. Of her mortification over Sirius and how much she wanted to separate herself from her failed son and heir. Of how furious she would get at him being brought up.

He thought of the fights between her and Orion once far and inbetween that now sat like rainclouds on the horizon. Dark and ominous.

He thought of his growing fear of Walburga having him join the death eaters..

He thought about how everything seemed to be falling apart in slow motion, all orbiting around him.

“I’m fine.” He lied.

“Sure you are.” Sirius had hardly been here a minute, and he had already begun worrying him. He knew Sirius had seen right through the lie. A sideways glance at him revealed he was wearing that expression that revealed he could see right through him.

“Why did you want to talk with me?”

I miss you.

It's been hell without you.

You were the only good thing in my life.

I love you.

Instead of saying any of that, Regulus shrugged and folded his hands. staring intently over the lake.

“..Okay.”

Regulus forced himself to keep his gaze over the water. To not look at Sirius to gauge his reaction.

“Regulus, What's really happening?”

Regulus bit his lip, and slowly exhaled. Forcing his shoulders to relax and trying to smile. “Sirius, I’m okay. Really.”

“Oh don’t even try and pull that shit on me. You couldn't even fool Aunt Charis with that fake smile. You wouldn't.. You wouldn't go through the hassle of planning an entire meeting thing if nothing was wrong.”

“Maybe I just wanted to talk to you like everything was normal, okay? I don't know.” Regulus tried, still avoiding Sirius’s scrutinizing gaze.

It wasn't a lie, really.

He desperately wanted to talk to Sirius like things were okay.

“Reg..”

“And it's not like I can talk to you in broad daylight, right? Someone will see and news will get back to Her somehow and you know how that is.”

“Yeah, I do.” There was worry in Sirius’s voice.

He was still looking at him expectantly. Like he expected a real answer to why Regulus asked to meet him.

Too bad Regulus was too ashamed to admit it.

“This was a terrible idea. I’m sorry.” Regulus finally looked at Sirius, hugging his knees tighter to his chest.

Sirius looked just as worried as his voice had implied.

He looked actually worried. Not false worry, or angry worried, really and truly worried.

He hadnt seen Sirius really and truly worried in a long while.

“I—” He choked on his words. He hadnt expected that.

He was going to say he missed him.

But he just.. couldn't.

Out of fear, out of mortification, out of denial, he didn't know.

“I’m happy you're safe.” He said instead.

“Thanks.” Sirius kept his gaze fixed on Regulus with that real, genuine worried expression. “How have things been without me? Must be nice not having me around to piss her off all the time.”

Regulus thought about how angry Walburga was constantly these days. Her bitter, hysterical anger.

He nearly laughed.

“No, actually.” Regulus returned his gaze to the lake, so he doesn't have to see Sirius’s reaction. “It's been.. It's been really hard.” His voice couldn't have been much louder than a whisper as he confessed that. But somehow, he felt like he was screaming it for the whole world to hear.

Like there was no possible way to be quiet enough when saying it.

“Has it?”

“She..” He swallows his trepidation. There wasn't much point in hiding things, not really.

And Sirius deserved to know anyway.

“She’s really.. She’s gotten angrier, somehow. Bitterer. It's uh, with you being a..” He cleared his throat, slipping into a mocking voice that was meant to sound vaguely like Walburga. “‘Worthless mudblood loving blood traitor who should rot’ or something like that. But ah.. She’s gotten worse, I think.”

“Do you need me to come back?” Sirius asked with absolutely no hesitation.

The question made his blood freeze in his veins.

“What?” Regulus turned to look at Sirius, convinced he’d heard him wrong.

Because that didn't make sense. Why would he ever suggest something like that?

“Do you need me to come back, Regulus. Because I will. I could make up some, I don't know, bullshit about ‘Learning the awful truth of mudbloods’ or some.. absolute bullshit like that. And I would come back.”

“No. No. Never.” Regulus didn't even try to hide how stunned he was.

Because that was honestly the most idiotic, ill adviced thing he had ever heard Sirius say.

Well, no, it wasn't. But it was pretty far up there.

“Do not come back. She’ll — god Sirius I don't even know what she’d do. She’d kill you. She’d beat you half to death then kill you.”

“That wasn't the question, Regulus. Do you need me to come back? Will she kill you. Will she hurt you. Do you need me there?”

“I-” Regulus bit his lip. Because the answer was yes. “I’ll live.”

“Regulus.”

“She — Look. There hasn’t been much beyond, you know how she is. Cuts. Bruises. Yelling. The occasional spell. It’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

“You're lying.” Sirius said without breaking eye contact with him. “You're fucking lying. What has she done? Did she fucking Crucio you?”

“No! No. She didn't.” Not yet, at least. He added mentally. “Look. She broke my arm about 2 weeks after you left and that's the worst physical damage done. It's just been fucking hell without you, okay? But you can't come back. I will be fine.”

“She’ll kill you!”

“She’d kill you long before she kills me, Sirius. I’ll be fine.”

They held eye contact for a few seconds, challenging each other.

Surprisingly, Sirius caved first.

“Then I need you to really, and truly promise me something. Okay?”

“Why?”

“I just need you to.”

“Fine. What is it.”

“If you ever need me, if she ever uses Cruciatus or, fuck I don't know. Imperius or some shit. If she ever, ever does anything that will ruin your life, or hurt you like that, write me. Just write me. Firecall me even. I’ll come get you. No questions asked.”

“You don't need—”

“No, Regulus. You’re my brother. No matter what her tree says. I’ll be here for as long as you want me. I’m still here, I’m still your brother. So promise me that. Promise me that you’ll get me.”

“Sirius..” His voice is thick with all the emotion he’s forced back since the night Sirius ran away, and probably some more at Sirius’s words. “Okay. I promise.”

Sirius’s resulting smile was enough to make him smile back.

“Good. If she ever, ever goes to far, if you ever need somewhere to go, or hell, even just an outside opinion, I’m here.”

Regulus blinked back tears, still smiling a watery smile.

“All you need to do is ask, and I’ll be there.”

“Okay.” Regulus managed though his churning emotions. He felt something suspiciously like happiness. “Thank you.”

“It's nothing, Reggie.” Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him into what was a slightly rough hug.

Regulus hugged him back, and for all of 5 seconds they were quiet.

“I love you, you know.” Sirius whispered. “You're not allowed to forget that.”

Regulus rubbed at his eyes as he pulled back. “I love you too, Sirius.”

“That's good, because if you didn't this would be rather awkward.”

“Shush.”

“You have never once been able to make me be quiet, and I doubt you’ll have suddenly acquired that ability.”

Regulus laughed softly, and smiled again. “No, I don't think I have.”

[sassy-starker]

Moonlight And A Guest

This is a continuation of Talk Too Much, which was my first starker fic! This ended up being much longer than I thought it would be, but I like it a lot.  Thank you all for your patience while I get into the swing of my classes and getting used to college!

Word Count: 6.2k

CW: use of the word ‘p*dophile’ and physical bullying

+++

Peter and Tony had been dating since Peter’s seventeenth birthday, in love and as happy together as they could be, but there was one problem.

Nobody knew they were together.

Okay, that was an extreme statement.  Rhodey knew about them, of course, as Tony had immediately run to him after Peter had left and told him everything.  The colonel, of course, was not surprised in the slightest, but happy for Tony nonetheless.

Still, nobody knew except for Rhodey and the couple was beginning to get anxious.  They knew Peter would get shoved into the spotlight and the two would get ripped to shreds by the press for their age difference.  Tony didn’t want that for his young lover but knew it was better than someone dropping an anonymous hint to a magazine and the whole thing being turned into a scandal that it isn’t.  So, they decided that they were going to slowly tell the people closest to them and wait until Peter was done with high school to tell the entire world.

They decided to tell Pepper first.

+++

Peter shivered in the cold January air as he dashed from the car Happy had picked him up into the side entrance of Stark Tower.  Even with his sweater, coat, scarf, and hat, he felt like he was going to contract hypothermia.  He cursed his inability to thermoregulate as he stepped out of the cold and into the warm building.

“Hello, Peter!” FRIDAY greeted cheerily as the boy stepped into the elevator.  “Boss is in the lab and Colonel Rhodes is in the living room.  Boss wanted to know if you wanted Chinese or Italian takeout tonight and said that he wouldn’t take ‘I’m fine with anything’ as an answer.”

Peter laughed at that.

“Tell him I’d like Italian,” he replied to the AI.  She gave him her assurance that she would tell him and the elevator fell quiet, soft music playing.  The elevator stopped and Peter realized that it wasn’t the floor for the lab.  He opened mouth to ask FRIDAY what was happening, but the doors opened and revealed Pepper fucking Potts before he could say anything.

“Peter!” Pepper exclaimed, walking onto the elevator and standing next to him.  “How are you?”

“I’m good, Ms. Potts,” he replied shakily, his nerves about telling her of his and Tony’s relationship returning. “How are you?”

“I’m doing fine,” she told him, “but you can just call me ‘Pepper’. We’ve known each other for over two years, Peter.

“Uh, alright, Pepper.”

They fell silent, Peter staring down at his shoes and Pepper looking at him with concern.

“Are you okay, Peter?  You seem nervous.”

Peter was saved from having to reply by the elevator dinging to signal that it had reached the lab.  He thanked every Norse god he could think of for the mercy.

“Uh, yeah, everything’s fine!  See you later, Pepper!” Peter shouted awkwardly as he quickly exited the elevator and walked through the glass doors to get to the lab, shutting it behind him and immediately locking it.

As the elevator doors closed and it started to keep moving, Peter fell against the door to the lab and leaned his head back on it, hands coming up to rub at his eyes in exasperation and embarrassment.

“Everything okay, love?” Tony asked him softly, standing up from his workstation and making his way over.  Peter let his arms fall back down by his sides and opened his eyes, pushing off from the door to look at his boyfriend.

“I’m just . . .” he started but trailed off, shoulders sagging and looking down to the floor.  Tony moved closer and wrapped his arms around him, letting Peter bury his head into the crook of his neck.  He rubbed soft circles on his lover’s back, knowing what calmed him down.

When Peter finally pulled away, he started rambling. “I’m just nervous about telling Pepper and I don’t know what her reaction will be and I ran into her on the elevator and it was really awkward.  What if she hates me after we tell her? Would you break up with me? I don’t want to ruin things with your CEO and it could just fall apart and I wouldn’t want to drag you down and it’s just really scary and I’m just . . . worried.”

Tony pulled him into another hug, holding him tight.  Tears began to slowly leak out from Peter’s eyes, Tony being able to feel them as they stained his shirt, not that he minded at all.

“Pete, sweetheart, she’s not going to hate you,” Tony comforted him, resting his chin on Peter’s head. “And even if she did, I wouldn’t leave you because of it.  I get that you’re scared, and I am too, but I would give up everything for you.  If she doesn’t like you, us, then it might be awkward when we’re working together, but I would give up the entire world for you.  I would sacrifice the entire universe.”

“Besides, it’s not like I could ever hate you,” a voice said from the doorway.  Peter and Tony quickly separated and turned around, only to see Pepper leaning against the doorway with a smile on her face and holding up her keycard to show how she got in.  The younger wiped away his tears as he stared at her in shock.

“It’s . . . going to take some getting used to,” she admitted, pushing herself off of where she was leaning and walking forward to stand right in front of them, “but I think you two are perfect together, though you’ll probably give me a good amount of PR headaches once you announce it.  Still . . .”

Pepper paused and looked at Peter with a sincere look of care in her eyes.

“I could never hate you, Peter.”

Peter rushed forward and threw his arms around her in a tight embrace, a huge smile painted across his face.  Pepper was a bit taken aback, but still hugged the younger man back with just as much emotion.

They stayed like that for a few seconds before Pepper looked up at Tony and motioned for him to join the hug.

“Okay, okay,” Tony relented and put his arms around the two of them in a loving hug, a smile across his face despite his exasperated tone.

“We’re a family,” Pepper said into the embrace. “A weird, strange, insane family, but a family nonetheless.”

Peter felt warm inside.

+++

They decided their safest bet was to tell Ned and MJ next.

+++

‘You can do this’ was the text Tony sent when Peter told him that he was going to tell his friends during lunch in the library.

P: can I though?

T: Stop being an edgy gen z kid and go tell them

P: okay, okay. I love you

T: Love you too

Peter trudged to the library, trying to delay having to tell his friends.  Seemingly too soon, he found himself in front of the doors and knew he couldn’t prolong it anymore.

Peter took a deep breath and pushed the doors open, walking in and heading to the table that he and his friends always sat at.  It was hidden away in a secluded area of medical books that nobody actually cared about, which made it the perfect spot for them to hang out in.

When Peter got to the table, Ned and MJ were already there, Ned scrolling on his laptop and MJ buried in a book.  He sat down at his usual chair, gaining their attention.  Ned pushed his laptop aside and MJ lowered the book a bit, just enough to see him.

“Took you long enough,” MJ jabbed, but Peter knew she didn’t actually mean it.

“Yeah, dude.  What took you so long?” Ned added on without a greeting.

“Well, I was, uh,” Peter stammered out, wondering how he was going to phrase his words.

“You were what?” MJ questioned, closing her book and setting it down on the table.  Ned leaned forward in interest while she gave Peter a suspicious look.

“I’m dating someone!” Peter blurted out, intimidated by their staring.

“Dude! Congrats!” Ned cheered, holding his hand out for a fistbump, which Peter returned, of course.

“I’m impressed,” MJ told him with a slightly less cold look than usual.

“Who is it?” Ned asked with excitement laced into his tone and a smile painted across his face.

“Well, the funny thing is, uh-” Peter started but was cut off by his phone, which he had set on the table, buzzing with a text.  He reached for it, but MJ grabbed it first.  Before Peter even had a chance to say anything, she read off the message.

“‘Meant to tell you that I added a heating system to the suit since you can’t thermoregulate and it’s getting cold out,'” she read off of his screen, eyes squinting at the message.  Both Ned and Peter opened their mouths to talk but were cut off by another message.

“‘Which you should’ve told me about earlier because you nearly died and scared the hell out of me.’”

Another message came in.

“‘You’re gonna kill me one day, babe.’”

And one more.

“‘But I love you.  I’ll see you this afternoon.’”

Peter, finally coming out of his shock, snatched the phone away from her and shut it off, slipping it into his backpack and avoiding eye contact with his friends.

“Holy shit,” Ned whispered in amazement, staring at Peter.

“Holy shit is right,” MJ added with disbelief laced into her tone. “Like, I could guess Spider-Man, but, holy shit, dating Tony Stark?  I don’t . . . what the fuck?”

“Haha, uh, yeah,” Peter chuckled awkwardly, looking up at his friends and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s kind of a . . . thing and I was going to tell you guys today, but you sorta found out on your own, so . . . now you know, I guess.”

Silence filled the space in the little area, nobody daring to break the silence between them.

“How long have you guys been . . .?” Ned asked, trailing off at the end.

“Dating?  A little over a year.  We got together on my, uh, seventeenth birthday,” Peter told him with a small shrug.

“I would make a sugar daddy joke,” MJ chimed in, still staring at her friend with wide eyes, “but I’m too in shock to think of a good one.”

“Fair enough.”

When Peter got to the tower and Tony asked how telling his friends went, he simply replied, “Not the worst, but probably the strangest.”

+++

And then they were up to the person that scared Peter the most: May Parker

+++

“Nope!  I can’t do this!  Let’s save it for another day!” Peter exclaimed, hand hovering over the handle to the car door.

“You specifically told me to not let you chicken out of this,” Tony told him in amusement, trying to hide his own worry, “so you’ve gotta go do this.”

“And I’m also going to forever curse my past self for saying that,” Peter replied, leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes, shoulders sagging.

Tony put a comforting arm around him and let Peter rest his head on his shoulder, knowing physical touch would help the boy calm down.  He knew he was right when Peter let out a sigh of relief and leaned into the touch.

“It’s gonna be okay, love,” Tony assured him softly. “I’ve got you and I’ll be beside you the whole time.”

“Okay, let’s do this,” Peter said after a few moments, lifting his head up and turning to the car door.  He hesitated as he went to open the door, but did it after a second and climbed out, turning around and watching Tony do the same.

Tony closed the car door behind them and followed Peter into the apartment building.  They walked up the stairs, both grateful that they didn’t run into any of the neighbors, as it would be difficult to explain why Peter was just hanging out and talking to Tony Stark, world-famous billionaire and superhero.

When they reached Peter’s apartment, he slowly pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door, taking a deep breath before opening it and walking in, Tony right behind him.  They immediately saw May pulling something out of the fridge, back toward them.

“Oh! Hey, Peter! I was just-” May stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Tony standing behind Peter with a slightly nervous smile on his face. “Oh, uh, hey, Tony.  Come on in.  What do you need?”

“We need to talk to you,” Tony simply told her, trying and failing to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

May looked at her nephew, who nodded and motioned toward the couch.  Slowly, she shut the door and made her way to the chair by the couch, hesitation in her every move.  Peter and Tony walked over and sat down on the couch and May noticed they were sitting slightly closer than she thought people usually would, but just chalked it up to her making things up.

“What’s going on?” she asked, gazing looking from one to the other suspiciously.

“Well, Aunt May, I, uh, well, we . . .” Peter started, stuttering over his words and looking to Tony with worry.  Tony met his gaze with one of assurance and comfort.  Peter put his head in his hands for a second before meeting his aunt’s gaze and blurting out, “Tony and I are dating.”

Silence fell over the room for a second as May tried to process what Peter had said.  Her nephew was looking anywhere but at her and Tony had a comforting hand on his back.

“Well, I, uh, wasn’t expecting that,” May admitted, eyes slightly wide and a bit of shock on her face.  “I thought you were going to say that you had to go on a dangerous mission or have an STD. Wait, you don’t have an STD, do you?!”

“No!” Peter shouted, flushing with embarrassment. “I don’t have an STD!”

Tony could barely hold back his laughter at the whole situation, but May must’ve seen enough amusement on his face to say something.

“I’m expecting it to stay that way, Stark,” she told him with a cold glare that intimidated him like no villain could.  “Be good to my nephew.”

“I promise I will, Ms, Parker,” he replied seriously.  “There is no other way I would want him to be treated.”

She was satisfied with that answer.

+++

The next time someone found out, it was an accident

+++ “How are we going to announce it?” Peter asked Tony, half asleep but still a bit worried.

It had been a week since the two had told May about their relationship and everything was going well.  Peter had been allowed to go to the tower more since they told his aunt because she knew what it was like to be young and in love.

Currently, the two were the couch in the penthouse living room, a movie on in the background.  Peter had his head in Tony’s lap and the older was running his fingers through his younger lover’s soft hair.  Peter was leaning into his touch and letting himself get lulled to sleep by the gentle movements.

“How do you want to?” Tony replied, looking down at Peter.

“I don’t really know how someone would announce anything to the world,” Peter admitted with a small smile.  “Should we have a press conference?”

“Too stuffy. And bright. And loud. Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever want to go to a press conference again.”

“You say that as if you wanted to go to any press conference in the first place.”

“I can’t believe I’m getting attacked by the one person who I thought I could trust!” Tony exclaimed in feign offense and got back at Peter by tugging a bit at his hair, knowing it would rile him up.

And, as expected, Peter gave out a moan.  He quickly brought a hand to his mouth to stop it, cheeks turning red in embarrassment.  Tony grabbed the hand, though, and pulled it away, kissing each of his knuckles one-by-one.

“I wanna hear those beautiful moans, baby,” Tony told him a sultry voice, which only made Peter blush more.  He yanked on his younger lover’s hair again, a bit harder this time, and Peter moaned louder.

Peter sat up from where he was laying and swung a leg over Tony’s lap so he was straddling him, faces close together.  Tony made the move to put their lips together, sweet and passionate against each other.

Tony grabbed Peter’s ass, squeezing it and making him gasp.  The older used it to his advantage and moved his tongue into his lover’s mouth, not even having to fight for dominance.  Peter began to slowly move, grinding their cocks together slowly with friction building up.  They pulled away and looked at each other with loving smiles before putting their foreheads against each other.  Tony grabbed the hem of Peter’s shirt and started to pull it up when the elevator dinged, letting them know someone was there.

Peter scrambled off Tony, narrowly avoiding falling off the couch, and sat down next to the man, twisting around and looking at who was there.

It was (some of) the Avengers.

The fucking Avengers.

As in, Peter’s childhood idols, the Avengers.

Peter chose to blame Loki for this one.

Peter and Tony stared at them for a while in shock while three of the four Avengers gave them the same look in return, especially to Peter.  The two lovers were still panting slightly, but their breaths were slowly returning to normal.

Surprisingly, the first person to speak up was Peter.

“And, yeah, no. I’m too gay for this shit. Not today, Satan. I’m going to the lab,” Peter announced with an exasperated tone.  He stood up, Tony getting up, too, and walked past the Avengers, who had stepped out of the elevator and into the room, to get to the hall.  As he passed, he muttered, “Hey, Nat.”

“Hey, Pete,” she greeted back with a teasing look.  “Congrats on the relationship.”

From down the hall, they could hear Peter shout, “Shut the fuck up!”

Natasha and Tony looked at each other for a second before laughing, leaving the other Avengers confused.

“I’m sorry, but who was that?” Steve asked the question that everybody was wondering.

“Yeah, I thought you didn’t do flings anymore, Tony,” Sam added on.

“Wait, you think Peter’s a fling?” Tony questioned, slight confusion on his face.

“Well, yeah,” Sam told him, confusion on his face, too.  “Is he not?”

“He’s my boyfriend! We’ve been together for over a year!” Tony exclaimed with an offended tone.

“He seems familiar,” Bucky chimed in, “like I know him from somewhere.”

“That’s because you do,” Natasha told him, making everybody look over to her.  She looked over to Tony to get confirmation to tell them, to which she received a nod.  “He’s Spider-Man.”

“What?!” Sam exclaimed while Bucky just had a shocked look on his face.

“How old is he!?” Steve interrogated Tony, remembering how young Spider-Man had sounded at the airport.  Peter’s voice had, of course, gotten lower over the years, so it wasn’t as young-sounding now.

“Eighteen,” Tony told him.

“Tony, he’s a child!  You can’t be dating him!  This is ridiculous!  What type of person are you?! You’re disgusting!” Steve shouted at him, barely stopping to breath.

“Steve-” Tony started.

“No!  You can’t defend yourself here!  This is irresponsible and wrong!”

“Steve, let up, man,” Sam told him, trying to get the man to stop shouting at the billionaire.

“Are you trying to defend him, Sam?!  He is dating an eighteen-year-old!” Steve yelled at his friend.

“Steve-” Tony tried again, hurt written all over his face.

“Don’t even start with me, Stark!  You can’t-”

“Steve!  Stand down!” Bucky shouted at his old friend, staring him directly in the eyes.

“Bucky, he’s a p*dophile!  He-”  Steve began but was cut off by a knife whizzing right by his face, almost close enough to cut him but narrowly avoiding it.  Before the knife could lodge itself in the wall, it was stopped in midair.  When everybody looked over, they saw that Peter had caught it and was staring Natasha dead in the eyes.

“Violence?  Really, Nat?  I thought you were better than this,” he told her in a serious tone, but you could see that he was joking by the way his eyes sparkled.

Natasha laughed and walked over, Peter handing the knife back to her.  She gave him a light punch to the arm, Peter lightly elbowing her in response.

“I know I’ve said it before, but I think you are the only one who could act this way to Nat and not get killed,” Tony told Peter with a smile.

“You’re right,” Natasha replied with a tone that showed that it was a warning to them.

“Mr. Steve Rogers, I see your concern,” Peter said formally with a cold note in his voice, stepping away from Natasha and toward Steve, “but I can assure you that I am able to make smart and rational decisions for myself, regarding my schooling, future, and love life.  If you don’t like Tony and I being together, then feel free to fuck off, because you aren’t going to change anything.”

The room fell quiet, everybody looking between Peter and Steve, who were staring straight at each other.  Steve was debating inside his head as he looked at the younger man, who was giving him a solid, cold glare.

“I suppose,” Steve muttered, breaking the silence, “that I could try to put my thoughts aside right now and trust you both as adults who can make reasonable decisions and will continue to see your relationship to try and understand it.”

Peter began to smile, proud of himself for getting the man to trust them as adults. Tony gave Peter a loving look, which the younger returned, and Sam and Bucky were riding on the wave of pure relief that Steve was at least trying to trust the two.  Natasha gave a small smile, tucking her knife back into her belt.

+++

“Would you trust me to make it a surprise?” Tony asked Peter.

The two were laying in Tony’s their bed, Peter curled up against Tony with his head in the crook of his neck and Tony’s chin on top of Peter’s head.  They were close together and warm in the large bed, just talking.

“What do you mean?” Peter questioned, voice muffled by the position his head was in.

“Like, I’ll find a way to show that we’re dating by randomly showing up to hang out with you or pick you up or something,” Tony explained.  “Then, regular people will see what happened so nobody can make assumptions right off the bat and we can get amateur video footage to show what happened and stuff.”

“Mmm,” Peter hummed, thinking about it. “This is probably the dumbest thing I’m ever going to say, but I trust you.”

+++

“And the theme of this year’s prom is . . . Moonlight And A Guest!” the student president announced over the speaker system.  “So, get ready, seniors, for the biggest night of the year for you!  Everybody gets a plus one and tickets will be going on sale this Friday!  See you at prom!”

The classroom filled with chatter, but Peter really paid no mind, instead listening to Ned try and work out a plan to ask Betty to prom.  MJ was buried in a book, as always, and Peter wasn’t sure if she would even consider going to prom.  He never really knew with her.

“Penis Parker!”

Peter groaned internally and turned around to face Flash.

“What do you want?”

“I’ll understand if you want to sit this party out,” Flash told him, leaning his hands on Peter’s desk to tower over him.  “After all, it’s Moonlight And A Guest, and I don’t think you could even get your mom to accompany you.  Oh wait, she’s dead anyway!”

“Flash, you can’t even get in a relationship that lasts for more than two and a half weeks, so I don’t think you have the right to give me advice on love,” Peter shot back.  He immediately regretted it, though, when Flash gave him a look that told him he would pay for it later.

“I guess I’ve rubbed off on you,” MJ said once Flash had walked off.

“Yeah, I guess you have.”

+++

Peter had hoped that he could run from the school building as soon as the final bell rang in order to avoid Flash, but got held back by his teacher to discuss his absences, which meant he was one of the last people left in the school who wasn’t in a club.

Defeated and knowing his fate, Peter trudged to his locker to grab what he needed to bring home.  He pulled out his textbooks and a couple binders and went to close the metal door, but was stopped when it was slammed shut for him.  He looked over and saw Flash and his posse of rich kids and dickheads.

‘How are they the most popular kids in school?’ Peter wondered as he looked at them. His thought process was interrupted, though, with a punch to the face that sent him back into the lockers that were already barely an inch away from his head.  He got another punch to the cheek and then one more to the nose and he could feel blood start flowing from it.

A punch to the chest knocked the air from his lungs and left him vulnerable to attack.  A punch in the stomach and a kick to his right leg sent him sprawling to the floor.  And so the attack continued on.

Peter left the school forty-five minutes after school ended, but not without a slight limp, dried blood around his nose, and bruises all over him.

‘Come on, man,’ he thought to himself, ‘you’re Spider-Man.  You should be able to handle a couple of high school bullies!’

Peter’s mental berating was brought to an end when he entered the car with Happy and shut the door behind him.

“You’re forty-five minutes late!  Where the hell were-” Happy cut himself off as he looked into the rearview mirror and saw the state Peter was in.  “What happened?”

“Nothing important,” Peter assured him, but his voice cracked.  “It looks worse than it is.”

“It sure looks important,” Happy told him with a disbelieving look.

“I’m fine, Happy.”

“If you don’t want to talk to me about it,” Happy said, starting the car, “then that’s okay, but you’ve gotta at least talk to Tony.”

Begrudgingly, Peter nodded his head in affirmation and they began their drive, Happy not putting up the partition the entire time.

When they arrived at the tower, Peter got out and thanked Happy, limping slightly to the side entrance and entering Stark Tower.

“Peter, you appear to be very hurt,” FRIDAY said with concern in her voice despite the fact she was an AI.  “I suggest you get medical assistance.”

“I’m okay, Fri. No need to worry,” he assured, but it wasn’t very convincing.

When Peter exited the elevator, he immediately saw Tony sitting on the couch, scrolling through something on his Stark Pad, obviously absorbed in his work.  When he began to walk forward, though, the man looked up with a smile.

“Hey, love!  How was your-” Tony started but cut himself off once seeing what Peter looked like.  He got up and rushed over, checking the younger man over and trying to assess the damage.

“Pete, what happened?” he questioned gently, looking up to meet Peter’s eyes.  The younger man, though, kept his eyes focused on his shoes.

“It’s nothing,” Peter told him.  “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony called out, not believing Peter, “give me a scan and assessment.”

“It appears Mr. Parker has several bruises, a dislocated shoulder and had a bloody nose,” the AI informed him in an almost sad tone.

“That doesn’t sound fine to me,” Tony told Peter, gently taking his lover’s hand and leading him over to the couch.  “What actually happened?”

“Well, they announced the theme for prom, and it’s Moonlight And A Guest, so everybody gets a plus one.  This kid, uh, he’s been . . . bullying me, I guess, since the beginning of high school.  So he made a joke about me having nobody to go with, said I probably couldn’t even get my mom to go with me and then . . . uh . . . turned it into a joke about how my mom is dead.”

“Peter, I-”

“That’s not the end.  I shot back at him about how short his relationships are and how he can’t give me advice about love, so he and his posse, uh, well . . . yeah, and now I’m here.”

It became quiet between the two.  Peter looked down at his lap, embarrassed, but Tony grabbed his hand and held it tight, not letting him go.

“Let’s get you patched up.”

+++

Peter wanted to leave the prom the moment he entered.

Moonlight And A Guest was held in a fancy venue not too far from the school.  It was an old warehouse that had been bought and remodeled to be made into a venue for weddings, bar or bat mitzvahs, and, apparently, high school proms.  The floors were concrete and there were pipes on the ceiling, but they hung stars from the pipes and had put in tables, chairs, and a bar.  It was only serving non-alcoholic drinks, obviously.  The real drinking was reserved for the after-party someone would throw at their house, usually a rich kid.

Peter hated the suit he was in, and the music, and the lights, and all the people.  It felt miserable, but he didn’t want to miss out on prom.  He was sitting on a plush couch in the very back of the venue, MJ sitting on the other end and reading a book.  Ned had disappeared to dance with Betty, meaning Peter was practically alone.  Plus, Ned was his ride, so he couldn’t really go anywhere without him.

Most of the songs were pop and rap, as it wasn’t a big slow dancing event.  It was a high school prom after all.  Peter was cursing himself for not bringing earplugs.

Peter was distracted from his misery by a text.

T: How’s prom?

P: awful

T: I’m sorry, love

P: it’s not your fault.  it is kinda my fault for coming

T: Well, it might not be completely terrible

P: it already is

T: You just gotta get into it! Go request a song or something!

P: fine, I’ll go request a song, but that’s as far as I’m going for prom

T: That’s something at least!

Peter got up and tucked his phone into his pocket, pushing his way through the boards of teens to get across the venue and to the DJ, who was an actual professional hired by the prom committee.

“Hey, man!” the DJ greeted over the music. “You got a song request?”

“Uh, yeah,” Peter replied. “Bloom by The Paper Kites.”

“Got it, dude!”

Peter took a deep breath and began walking back through the crowd.  He was about half-way through when his phone buzzed with a message.  He pulled it out of his pocket, not pausing in his movements.  When he looked at the text, though, he froze and confusion washed over him

T: Where are you in the venue?

P: what?

T: Where are you in the prom venue?

P: I’m in the middle of the crowd????

T: Got it

That’s when people started going silent in the room, looking toward the door.  People noticed others going quiet and saw what they did, a ripple effect going through the crowd until they were all silent and facing the door, the only sound being the music, which had also been quieted.

Peter turned and looked and was met by the sight of Tony Stark.

His boyfriend was dressed up in a black suit with the purple tie Peter had given to him as a present.  In his right hand, he was holding a corsage of white roses that had been delicately placed together just right.

Unphased by all the staring, as he had gotten used to it after spending his entire life in the eyes of the press, Tony began to walk straight through the venue, the crowd splitting for him like he was Moses at the Red Sea.

Everybody watched in confusion as Peter didn’t move for Tony, instead staring him straight in the eyes with an amused look on his face.  When Tony saw Peter, unmoving and looking close to laughter, a giant smile painted itself across his face.  He walked up and stopped right in front of Peter.

Those who weren’t already recording the entire thing pulled out their phones to do so.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at a huge conference in Japan right now?” Peter asked him with a teasing smile.  His peers watched the two, confused as to why Peter was just talking to Tony Stark like it was nothing.

“Pepper let me leave early,” Tony replied.

“Did she now?”

“She did! I told her what was going on and she let me come back!”

Peter paused, smile fading away and being replaced with a mix of shock, confusion, and joy.

“You told Pepper that I was going to prom and she let you drop everything to come back to New York for it?  You went all that way for me?”  Peter asked him softly.

“Of course I did,” Tony told him, taking Peter’s hand and lifting it up to put on the corsage. People were beginning to whisper, wondering what the hell was happening and why Tony Stark was at their senior prom and putting a corsage on Peter Parker.

“That’s a fifteen-hour flight and possibly lost business because of you leaving a conference, Tones,” Peter chided but looked down at the corsage for a moment before looking back up at Tony lovingly.

“What? Did you think I was going to leave my boyfriend hanging at his senior prom?” Tony questioned with a joking smile.

The whispers grew louder and were full of questions without answers.  People who had their phones out were even more focused on filming the entire interaction.  Nobody was noticing what music was coming on until Peter spoke up again.

“This is the song I requested,” he pointed out quietly, pointing upwards to motion to it as the soft guitar intro played.

“In that case, may I have this dance?” Tony asked, offering his hand.  Peter laughed and put his hand in Tony’s, letting his boyfriend drag him into a slow dance.

In the morning when I wake

And the sun is coming through

Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness

And you fill my head with you.

“Why are you really here, Tones?” Peter asked quietly as they danced, making sure nobody could hear them.

“You really wanna know?” Tony replied in a whisper

Peter nodded.

Shall I write it in a letter?

Should I try to get it down?

Oh, you fill my head with pieces

Of a song I can’t get out.

“There are a couple reasons,” Tony admitted.  “I wanted to announce our relationship and thought this was a romantic way to do it, I wanted to show up that kid who beat you up, and . . . I wanted to be here at your prom.  This is the most romantic thing a high school kid can go to, and I wanted to give you the real experience of going with a date.”

Can I be close to you?

Ooh-oo-oo-ooh, ooh-oo-oo-ooh

Can I be close to you?

Ooh-oo-oo-ooh, ooh-oo-oo-ooh

“You really wanted all of that for me?”

“Of course, love.”

Can I take you to a moment

Where the fields are painted gold?

And the trees are filled with memories

Of the feelings never told?

“Pepper is going to kill you,” Peter told him, bringing his voice back to its normal volume.

“She said I could go!” Tony defended, spinning Peter around.

“Yeah, but it’s still a complete PR nightmare. Romantic?  Yes.  But the press will be all over it, tabloids will make it out to be terrible, and stocks will drop.

“I don’t care about all of that as much as I care about you.”

When the evening pulls the sundown

And the day is almost through

Oh, the whole world, it is sleeping

But my world is you

Tears filled Peter’s eyes as he thought about how Tony would give up the entire universe for him and knew that he would do the same for Tony.

“I love you,” Peter told him simply, but it was full of emotion and compassion.

“I love you too,” Tony responded.  “I love you more than words can say.

Can I be close to you?

Oh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Can I be close to you?

Oh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Can I be close to you?

Oh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Can I be close to you?

Oh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Can I be close to you?

Ooh, ooh

As the song ended, Tony and Peter leaned forward and shared a kiss.  Short and sweet, but a kiss filled with everything they had.

“You wanna ditch your senior prom?” Tony asked his boyfriend.

“Is that even a question?”

+++

‘Tony Stark’s New Boyfriend?’

‘Who Is The Mysterious Peter Parker?’

‘Tony Stark Crashes A High School Prom’

[setaripendragon]

So I’m just... sitting in a weird creative rut at the moment. Like, I’ve got all these half-baked ideas that aren’t going anywhere so I can’t write them, so I can’t get them out of my system so I can’t come up with any more solid ideas. I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a room and someone’s just dropped three crates of interesting knick-knacks on the floor. Like, this is all so colourful and shiny, but... there’s so much? and they’re all so tiny? what do you want me to do with these???

SO. This is me venting. (And also throwing fic recs out into the void because I need someone to scream with about Supernatural, none of my irl friends have watched more than a few episodes.)

I got back into the Supernatural fandom recently, and I’m... god, it feels like heresy to even say it, bored with Destiel. Like, I still love them, I’m still eagerly awaiting Cas’s debut in my rewatch, but I’m also, like, looking at these thousands on thousands of fics about them, and I feel like... ‘yes? I know? God, I know these two are fucking soulmates?’ It’s how I usually get about canon pairings (that I like, anyway), actually. I just... don’t get invested (so much) in the fanfiction because, well, obviously.

On the other hand, I could really, really do with some good Dean/Cas/Gabe fics that aren’t The Nature and Kynde of a Lyon, or Frate, non far: ché tu se' ombra, e ombra vedi. (If anyone has an recs, send them my way, please, god.) I love that OT3 like you wouldn’t believe. (I should rewrite their entry for my OT3 drabbles series, cause I didn’t do them justice at all)

I want to write my own story about them. I want to write a fic where Gabe helps Dean deal with the trauma of Hell, where Gabe and Cas circle each other so, so carefully because Gabriel’s afraid of caring too much and then losing and Cas has ages old abandonment issues to deal with, I want to write Gabe shoving Dean and Cas’s heads together and being all ‘now kiss’, and Cas telling Dean and Gabe repeatedly that they are ‘very much alike’ when they each observe how much he cares about the other, and Dean being all insecure and bitchy because Gabe and Cas can relate to each other on a level he could never, and both of them having to come together to reassure him that, no, really, it’s not right without him.

I also really really really want Crobby-centric fics. It’s so hard to find them on Ao3 because it’s usually a side pairing to Destiel. And... it’s not like I don’t ship Destiel. I still love it. So I can’t just ‘exclude Destiel’ because... because then I wind up with side-pairings I don’t like? I just... I wish Ao3 had a ‘main pairing’ tag category, and a ‘side pairing‘ tage category, because what I really want is main pairing Crobby with a side of Destiel. I only have one Crobby fic rec, and that’s A Handful of Dirt.

I want to write a fic where Bobby and Crowley end up being really domestic together, and like, six months in, Bobby’s just like ‘lightbulb’ and then ‘damn, I can’t believe we coulda been having sex this entire time’. And then I want to write a Dean PoV Crobby centric fic where Dean has to face his internalised homophobia because of the Crobby, and has his own queer crisis, and Bobby is a Good Dad and the big emotional climax is Dean and Bobby having a chat (stilted and gruff because that’s just how they are) about it all, and Dean just... can’t say it out loud because he’s got John fucking Winchester’s predictable reaction in his head, and Bobby just claps him on the shoulder, gives him a little shake and is like ‘it’s alright, y’idjit’

(And in the epilogue Crowley surreptitiously slaps a ‘Not gay as in happy, but Queer as in FUCK YOU!’ bumper sticker on the Impala and Dean throws an epic shit fit and figures out it was Crowley and yells at him ‘you don’t go fucking defacing someone else’s fucking car, you hellspawn!’ and Crowley holds up his hands all ‘alright, alright, I’ll take it right off’ and Dean glowers at him and snaps ‘don’t you fucking dare’, because, hey, he does like the sentiment. It feels like something that fits him and his life more than cutesy little flags and all those weird-ass labels Sammy likes to throw around like the nerd he is.)

I so, so badly want to write (or read) a modern AU fic where Dean, Benny, and Charlie are Queer BFFs together. (Benny is Ace, fight me.) Maybe even a Leverage AU? Charlie is obviously the hacker, Benny’s the hitter, Dean’s the thief. (Bela is Charlie’s girlfriend, who they call when they need a grifter.)

Which reminds me, I need to go look for some Charlie/Bela, because I ship that so hard, you have no idea. I love them to pieces individually, they’d be so amazing together.

I also really want to write a fic where Dean and Sam get punted somehow into an alternate universe where everything is just... WEIRD. Like, a verse where the Men of Letters were still a thing, maybe even where John was one? Where John and Mary didn’t die, but got divorced, and it was messy and traumatic, and Dean has to confront the fact that the idyllic apple-pie childhood he remembers was a four-year-old’s rose-tinted recollection, not the truth. (I want Dean, Benny, and Charlie to be BFFs in that world, too.)

And Sam is married to Princess Mia, because I know it’s a crackship, okay, I know it was a fucking stupid ass joke on this stupid ass hellsite, but god do I ship it so hard. They have so much in common. They’re both ‘normal’ kids who got saddled with a ‘special destiny’ at birth (or close enough), which comes with a hell of a lot of responsibility (and a few perks), who keep trying to hold onto their freedom, and are actually super soft decent people who just wanna be happy and loved. (I am so very torn on whether I prefer it if it’s a literal world-merge and Sam is marrying actual European royalty, or if it’s an AU where instead of ‘surprise you’re a princess’ Mia gets ‘surprise you’re from a family of epic hunters’ (Julie Andrews as a badass hunter matriarch? Yes please.))

And I really, really want next gen shenanigans. Ben, and Claire, and Krissy, and Jesse, and Patience, and Jacob, and hell, even Lucas. (Instead of that weird ass ‘we’re being inclusive look women’ spin-off they tried to pitch) I want Ben and Claire bonding as not!sibling because their not!dads are totally gay for each other and being stupid about it. I want Ben and Claire getting into petty fights about who Krissy likes more because they both took one look at her and got massive life-ruining crushes on her. I want Claire and Jesse being BFFs, and Ben and Patience.

I may make a seperate post about the series I want to write about these kids. (It will be an epic post-season-8 fix it. Maybe I should turn it into an original series...)

I want to write a psychic wolves AU. I want to write a Daemon AU. I (do not) want to try and figure out a Hogwarts AU. I’m remembering my old crossover with Charmed that I had planned (doesn’t Patience just give you Charmed vibes?). I want to write time-travel. I want to write time-travel OT3 with Mia/Sam/Jess. I want to write time-travel where the next gen end up zapping themselves into the past for some reason.

God, wouldn’t that be fun? The kids trying to deal with teenage Dean and Sam? (I give it three minutes in the man’s presence before Jacob tries to eat John’s brains.) Or even have them older, and land just before the start of the series?

As you can see, I’ve got all these ideas, but there’s no real substance to them? Nothing that goes ‘yes that’s a story I can tell’ just... premises and moments and nothing really coherent.

[challengeborne]

// hey. hey tumblr rpc. 

there are some characters in the later books you should both stan and write because i need these interactions for the love of god. book spoilers below.

let’s start with the poldark babes:

jeremy - soft, sweet bean. can’t bear to see animals hurt. loves engineering and even builds an engine for his dad’s mine. the most romantic heart. joins the army but the less we talk about that, the better. mild dash of highway robbery thrown in the mix for a little spice.

clowance - free-spirited badass. rides horses bareback, runs around with no shoes on, trespasses cuz she can and she’s too hot for anyone to bother stopping her. sensible and has her shit together in everything except the men she likes. smart business lady who runs a shipping company for a bit. probably the least stress-inducing of the older kids

isabella-rose aka bella - a queen. a noisy, precocious theater kid queen. she does whatever the heck she wants, but she’s a sweetheart so no one can stay mad at her. has a badass debut as an opera singer by age 18 and only gives it up because illness ruins her voice. not to be tamed, she just pivots to... becoming one of the most famous stage actress of her generation nbd. oh and she’ll bang hot french dudes along the way.

henry - poor henry’s only like 8 when the series ends but he’s a smart little cookie who has his mom’s perceptiveness and hey! he’s gonna inherit a swanky title!

(also if someone wanted to give me happy julia aus, i would not say no...)

then the other poldark: tng characters:

geoffrey charles poldark - he is a fucking dream. becomes a major in the army, gets wounded a couple times, but not too badly. comes back to live at trenwith with his new spanish wife and their kids and is generally a ray of sunshine in the complicated lives of his cousins...

sophie and meliora enys - there’s not a whole lot said about them other than that they exist, so lots of room to develop stuff! 

ursula warleggan - she doesn’t really have her own storyline either but she’s got the warleggan brain with its knack for business and figures. but is decidedly less of an asshole than george...

valentine warleggan - ummmmmm he falls into the category of ‘yeah his childhood sucked but that doesn’t excuse the pos he became as an adult’ category so maybe he’s a tricky one. he does wind up with a pet ape though which is the weirdest fucking thing to happen in the whole series.

loveday carne - not a whole lot said about her either since drake and morwenna don’t live near the other characters, but again! room to invent things!

some other peeps:

lady harriet carter/warleggan - a true queen. george’s second wife who blatantly marries him for his money and spends the rest of the books dunking on him delightfully. likes dogs more than people. 

stephen carrington - just getting this one out of the way. don’t do it. 

lord edward fitzmaurice - clowance’s second husband and honestly he’s the poldark equivalent of a loveable and good-natured big brother from an austen novel

literally anyone from bella’s theater/opera gang

other next gen kids like ben carter (jinny’s son), andrew blamey (verity’s son), george’s twin daughters with harriet - rachel and anne, AND SO ON

[tamayokny]

thoughts on dark phoenix. spoilers below.

if you don’t want to read all of this, skip to the bottom where it’s all summarized?

first, i came in knowing that i would be disappointed in the film in some way but still, i was excited! the x-men are my life; my family.

anyway...

the first hour...idk lowkey the editing threw me off. it was lowkey...uh...bad. at least some parts were. i really enjoyed the last hour.

liked the x-men in space scene...and when miss jean grey absorbed the phoenix force? RIIIIIIIISE!

before i continue let me just say: i love you sophie belinda turner jonas. stay iconic; a legend and you did great with what you were given! fuck everyone who said you “ruined [x-men and game of thrones] in the same year” (yeah, i saw that in a facebook comment! lmao i HAVE to laugh at that.)

i’m glad the movie covered charles’s flaws as a teacher, if only a little bit. from experience, i know that you should not repress trauma like that because it will rise and be...a mess. so they covered that well.

i've also seen a lot of arguments over charles xavier’s character in dark phoenix and honestly? i thought it was fine. it reflected his comic counterpart more in recent years. (y’all should be happy that scott didn’t kill him in this movie! lol)

rip to mrs. smith and the rest of her dinner party (the husband was kind of a dick, though).

as much as i love jessica chastain, i really didn’t like the antagonists in this film. they provided a GREAT fight scene and conflict in the peak moments of the film, but i wish they focused on the bond between jean grey and the phoenix more, as well as how it affected the team.

AND BEFORE I FORGET: DAZZLER CAMEO DAZZLER CAMEO!! I loved it.

the confrontation between jean and her teammates outside of her father’s house was great. i liked when kurt tried to stop her and they went through the walls. OUCH when quicksilver got hurt though...i felt that.

also: remember when we all thought quicksilver was going to be one of the deaths? lmao

speaking of deaths...mystique really is dead and honestly? thank god. i hated how they’ve written her character in the past two movies. it also doesn’t help that i dislike the actress...her best movies were first class and days of future past but once they started to put her on the hero route? no thanks

i’m sad that they never explored or outright stated that mystique is kurt’s biological mother. (for the non-comic fans: kurt is the son of azazel and mystique.)

hank’s grieving and his lashing out on charles...and then he went to magneto so they could kill jean...good job nicholas 

i must ask: what was the relationship between beast/mystique? like where they romantically involved or still kind of tip toe-ing around? some scenes implied they had feelings for sure but....idk

GENOSHA, BABY! GEN-O-SHA!

jean entering this mutant haven was beautiful but magneto’s entrance? omg i lowkey wanted to laugh. magneto remains to be dramatic and i love it

i also liked the helicopter scene

okay so back with the team:

peter got hurt so you don’t see him until the very end of the film

kurt was used pretty well

ororo was underused when it came to the dialogue department. my girl barely said anything BUT: her action scenes were amazing and i’ll get to that in a minute

to the surprise of no one, while kurt remained hopeful but wary and ororo believed jean to be dangerous (which, she is and was), scott was on charles’s side and firmly believed that they could bring jean back. 

i wish the dark phoenix was able to cement the scott/jean relationship more because while i knew they were a couple, it would probably be difficult to know how serious they were. (yes, some scenes showed it but idk how impactful they were?)

okay so fast forward a bit: jean and vuk (jessica chastain) are in new york so magneto, hank, and two other mutants on their side are there to kill jean, and then the x-men show up to save/stop that from happening.

this fight scene was pretty cool...especially when magneto brought that subway car above ground and used it to enter the building jean and vuk were in...magneto, ever the dramatic king who i love

the charles/jean moment...heartfelt. like i mentioned, this covered one important aspect of the dark phoenix saga: xavier's faults. he believed he was doing the right thing and when jean saw how her (biological) father reacted to her...she understood. while i believe what charles did was fucked up and i still would have been pissed, i would have forgiven him like jean did, because he gave her hope and a chance. it was hope to help her manage her abilities, and a chance to life as a mutant because let’s face it, if she would have gone in the child services system she would have been fucked.

and then like any other x-men movie: the government got involved, subdued all the mutants (scott blasted vuk out the building, so she wasn’t captured), and they were locked and loaded on the train. jean got isolated from the rest of them.

BEFORE I CONTINUE: when scott said “i’ll fucking kill you!”...i almost started laughing. i’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

anyway on the train: vuk and the rest of the alien shapeshifters come to wreck shit up and the killed most of the guard (which caused kurt to go on a killing rampage after one of them died in front of him....okay. i was kinda impressed tbh, despite most depictions of kurt would probably not do that.)

the mutants fucked shit up! i think the 2 mutants that helped magneto were both killed though, which made me :// like really? k.

which reminds me: i wish psylocke and jubilee were in dark phoenix but the actresses had other film commitments, so i understand and forgive. also...still said about angel and his fate in apocalypse :( angel is always the most mistreated out of the original 5 lmao.

anyway that train fight scene was really good...despite barely having dialogue (:/) SHE KICKED ASS. and when erik destroyed part of the train? KIIIIIIIING!!!!!

BUT THEN JEAN UNLEASHED PHOENIX AGAIN!!! AND SHE FUCKING TOOK THAT TRAIN, PROTECTED HER FAMILY, AND DESTROYED THE REMAINING ALIENS. FUCKING QUEEN! MCU CAPTAIN MARVEL WHO???? MCU WANDA??? MCU THOR???? NO. JUST JEAN GREY BITCHES.

jean sacrificed herself...i remember reading something that said “2 confirmed x-men deaths” and i knew it was going to be mystique and jean

but honestly i was thinking “three deaths” because fuck, i thought jean was going to kill scott! like i’m disappointed how they didn’t focus on jean’s destruction on everyone and being like...evil. lmao i was really hoping but simon you played me, huh. (great marketing i guess?)

jean died but didn’t die, knowing how jean grey is lmao

they renamed the school after jean and i’ve seen people being salty about it LMAO....they renamed the school for jean in the comics (it changed back eventually...?) so stay mad

people are also mad that charles retired and fucked off to paris adfcrvhfbg

while i don’t think charles would have retired (well...that could be debatable?), i think for the end of FOX x-men, it was okay

also erik offering charles a place to stay in paris???? fucking PARIS??? THE CITY OF LOVE??????????? I’M FUCKING LOSING IT!!!!

AND THAT GAME OF CHESS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

the very last shot was of the sky, where you could see the phoenix in the air......yoooooooOOOOOOOOO

okay so before i tell you all my summary, let’s talk about why dark phoenix may not have done so well, or at least part of it:

the mutants are now owned by disney, since the disney/fox merge became official (fuck). so, because of this, dark phoenix had to go through reshoots (which brought us that glorious train fight). apparently, the dark phoenix saga was going to be in three parts but because of the merge...that’s not happening. so, dark phoenix is officially the last x-men movie (unless you count new mutants that will be released on disney+, last i've heard). so, because of this, i think this last movie left a lot of fans unsatisfied because we all know that there should have been more to the story, and they had it planned out! unfortunately...disney has to fucking buy everything.

another reason: the x-men/fox superheros are not as hyped as the MCU/disney superheroes. you know this. i know this. and after a few releases from the MCU this year? the x-men didn’t stand a chance. let me also add: fuck the critics, there’s been such a disconnect between them and the audience for years. i’m not saying dark phoenix was perfect, but it’s not as horrific as people (critic and audience) have been saying.

now, the final thoughts and summary: 

i went into the theatres knowing it wasn’t going to be the best thing ever. it was average; that’s the best i can describe it. it had good moments and it had bad moments. jean grey as dark phoenix was not as antagonistic as i hoped and while i enjoy jessica chastain, I really didn’t like the villains of the film. i wish chastain was the “physical embodiment” or whatever it was of the phoenix like many speculated. dark phoenix should have focused on jean (which it did but...), her relationships with her teammates, scott, xavier (it did brush on it), and other core values of the dark phoenix saga. it would have been great to see this all play out but unfortunately, things change.

thank you, fox, for twenty years of the x-men. just like how they changed the comic book industry (they made marvel comics), the very first x-men movie is the reason why we have our many superhero films today. remember that. good luck with them MCU, and don’t you fucking dare mess them up!

let me also add a thank you to the x-men cast. with dark phoenix, they all certainly gave their best. sophie did it, and i will miss tye sheridan as cyclops. most of all, i think i will miss michael fassbender as magneto. while he may not be jewish, he certainly gave his all. he really studied magneto and i respect and admire him for that. also rip to rose byrne as moira mactaggert. where the fuck was she when the events of dark phoenix went down??