#we keep it balanced and humbled <3< /div>
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Double Standard Dictionary: A Guide to Things That Are Only "Problems" When Women Do Them
Let's have an honest conversation about something that drives me absolutely crazy. You know those little comments and judgments that somehow only seem to apply to women? Yeah, we need to talk about that.
The Professional Edition
When men vs. when women do the exact same thing:
He's assertive â She's aggressive
He's focused â She's cold
He's passionate â She's emotional
He's dedicated â She's obsessed
He's confident â She's arrogant
He's strategic â She's manipulative
He's busy â She's neglecting her life
The Dating Double Standards
The classics that never seem to die:
He's dated around â She has "a past"
He's a bachelor â She's "left on the shelf"
He's selective â She's picky
He's career-focused â She's married to her job
He's a social butterfly â She's attention-seeking
He's "finding himself" â She needs to settle down
He's direct â She's desperate
The Appearance Police
The endless contradictions:
Look professional, but not too try-hard
Be attractive, but not attention-seeking
Wear makeup, but keep it "natural"
Be fit, but not too muscular
Dress well, but not too sexy
Look youthful, but not immature
Age gracefully, but never look old
The Emotion Edition
How it's perceived:
His anger is justified â Her anger is hysteria
His sadness is deep â Her sadness is dramatic
His stress is from hard work â Her stress is from "not coping"
His excitement is enthusiasm â Her excitement is over-the-top
His concerns are valid â Her concerns are paranoid
His anxiety is pressure â Her anxiety is weakness
The Family Chronicles
The never-ending judgment:
He's babysitting â She's just parenting
He's helping around the house â She's doing her job
He's focused on work â She's neglecting family
He needs time to himself â She's selfish
He's weighing his options â She's wasting time
He's figuring out what he wants â Her clock is ticking
The Office Politics
Things I'm tired of seeing:
Men get mentored â Women get hit on
Men network â Women "sleep their way up"
Men are busy â Women "can't handle it"
Men are thorough â Women are perfectionists
Men delegate â Women are lazy
Men need work-life balance â Women are uncommitted
The Social Scene
The ridiculous expectations:
Be fun but not too wild
Be social but not too friendly
Be smart but not intimidating
Be successful but not threatening
Be independent but not difficult
Be strong but still need help
Be confident but still humble
The Success Paradox
What we're dealing with:
Be ambitious but not threatening
Lead but don't be bossy
Achieve but don't outshine
Negotiate but don't be demanding
Succeed but stay likeable
Excel but remain modest
Win but make it look effortless
The Reality Check
What this actually means for us:
Constant second-guessing
Walking on eggshells
Energy drain from overthinking
Imposter syndrome
Reduced authenticity
Limited self-expression
Unnecessary stress
The Way Forward
What we can do about it:
Call it out
Name the double standard
Question the logic
Point out the inconsistency
Support other women
2. Break the patterns
Reject unfair labels
Define success personally
Set our own standards
Celebrate authenticity
3. Change the narrative
Share success stories
Highlight achievements
Create new networks
Mentor others
To Every Woman Dealing With This
Remember:
You're not "too much"
Your achievements are earned
Your feelings are valid
Your ambitions are worthy
Your standards are important
Your voice matters
Your path is yours
Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com/
#double standards#feminism#women supporting women#gender equality#women in business#women empowerment#professionalism#career woman#working women#gender bias#breaking barriers#womens rights#equality#girl power#career#empowerment#feminist rant#speak up
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Kinktober Day 3 - Pet Play
Ghost x Soap, Gaz x F!Reader, Soap x F!Reader - 3.7k (on ao3)
summary: Gaz and Ghost have an arrangement that allows their pets to get out some restless energy with one another. (Reader POV)
cw: puppy play, kitten play, muzzles, bondage (armbinder, handcuffs), leash, rough sex, reader is consenting but lowkey pretending she's not into it (she has a safeword but it's not mentioned in the drabble), degradation, exhibitionism
âHey, Kyle,â Simon says, the door held open for Gaz to guide you through. âBrought the girl?â
âCourse, mate,â your boyfriend laughs, one big hand snagging the hem of your sleeve and tugging you out from behind him. âYou know her, sheâs just beinâ shy.â
Your heart beats a little more quickly when Ghost just hums, looking you up and down with dark eyes. Kyleâs jacket covers your entire body, the long tan trench coat making you look just like the hooker you feel like tonight. The feeling of the material on your mostly-naked skin keeps you just on edge enough to hover around Kyleâs back, Simon's presence only making you more nervous.Â
ââS that them?â A voice calls out from further in the house, and you canât help but wince at the loud and quick footsteps as Soap runs to the entryway. He nearly stumbles to a stop when he appears in the doorway, too ridiculously large and broad to look anything but clumsy. His wrists are hooked to the collar around his throat, hands wrapped in black mitts and hanging loose over his chest, and he canât quite keep his balance without leaning a shoulder against the doorway.
Other than the collar and the wire muzzle strapped to his face, heâs naked as the day he was born, cock hard and dripping between his thighs. You shift a bit, can't help imagining what he'd taste like if you were allowed to use your mouth tonight.
âWho the fuck else would it be?â Ghost gruffs, taking a puff from his cigarette and locking the front door behind you. Your nose curls beneath your muzzle at the smell of smoke, thankful that he snuffs it out a moment later.Â
âHey, Tav,â Gaz greets, nodding at Soap instead of stepping forward for a bro hug like he usually would. He wraps an arm around your shoulders instead, leading you further into the cabin with Ghost at your back and Soap eagerly turning to lead the three of you to the living room, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds. He looks silly with his hands locked like they are, but you know that's the point.
None of them try to speak to you, the black mask covering half of your face making it obvious that you couldnât respond even if you wanted â that, and none of you are under any illusions of whoâs role is what tonight, and yours has been the same since the four of you started playing around like this.
Johnnyâs still got his freedom to speak, though, even with the wire muzzle strapped to his face. Youâre thankful that he wonât be able to get his teeth into you this time, but a spiteful part of you wishes Ghost wouldâve just shut him up fully instead. Johnny can get mean when heâs got his cock stuffed to the hilt inside a warm hole.
(You like it, is the thing, but youâd never admit it â Johnnyâs insufferable enough with Ghost as a partner, and youâve never met someone meaner and quicker to humble. Youâre sure if you gave him even the slightest compliment, heâd somehow become a smug monster.)
Gaz shifts one hand to the base of your neck as he guides you behind Johnny and into the living room, where the couch and coffee table have been shoved against the walls to make room for you and Johnny. Ghost heads straight to what youâve come to know as his chair, the seat of it sunken in from his weight and a beer already resting in the built-in cup holder. Soap follows him and kneels in front of his legs as soon as Simon settles, twisted to watch you and Gaz.
Kyle is sweet when he takes his jacket off of you, tugging it off slowly so youâre not exposed to the cool air too suddenly, calloused fingertips petting your skin.
âThere we are, pretty,â he hums, tossing the jacket carelessly to the side and caressing your hips. âGonna let Johnny have fun with you?â
You lean your head back, exposing your throat so you can nose at his jaw through your muzzle, trying to convey yes, but only for you without words. The little bell around your neck tinkles with the movement, the metal warmed by your skin.
Johnny moans aloud when your half-naked form is fully revealed, knees spreading as he sinks even lower, cock nearly brushing the floor. Your cheeks heat as you follow the way his eyes trace over your body, just as eager as he was the first time you did this.
You were fully naked then, but now Kyleâs dressed you up in what has to be the most girly lingerie he could find. The bralette provides no support whatsoever for your chest, but you have to admit that the white lace covering your nipples and cupping your breasts is pretty. The bows on the garters and panties were a nice touch, too, adding to the hyper-femininity of the overall look that you know Kyle loves. He let you keep the makeup from your face though, knowing how much you hate the feeling of streaky mascara.
Your arms are tied together straight in front of your body, with enough slack that you can fold them in half but not so much that you have anywhere near full movement. Kyle had spent almost an hour meticulously tying little white ribbons around the rope, kissing your arms as he went and making sure he had you exactly as immobile as he wanted.
The muzzle over your mouth is a clean white leather, something that Kyle works hard to keep clean and pristine, and it's fitted to the bottom half of your face. The gag in your mouth is small and non-invasive, allowing you to make as much noise as you want but keeping you from saying anything â that would ruin the fantasy. The gag causes plenty of spit to gather beneath your tongue, and every time you swallow you can feel your lightweight collar press against your throat, the little bell attached shifting with even the most minute movement.Â
The resulting look â the rope, the bows, the lace, the muzzle â is one that you love, even if it does make you feel like a doll being dressed up for someone elseâs approval. Youâre happy to get it in this case, when you know that Johnny will enjoy the look just as much as Kyle does and be all the more eager for you.
Ghost appreciates your appearance too, if his hum and the smirk lifting his lips is anything to go by.
Kyle presses a kiss to your shoulder as he lingers behind you, running his hands over the lace wrapping each of your curves, toying with the ribbons. âLike what you see, Si?â
Simon hums again, shifting further in his seat and spreading his knees, a king on his worn leather throne. âSure. âS not gonna last long, though, not with this mutt.â He snorts, one booted foot knocking against Johnnyâs naked thigh. âYou know how he gets.â
Kyle laughs, warm breath puffing against your naked shoulder, then moves towards the couch, leaving you alone in the middle of the room, unsteady in your heels. You try to instinctively follow him, unsteady without your arms to balance.
He holds you with one hand for a moment, steadying you just enough so you donât fall before moving away again. âYouâre alright, love, just stay there for a second.â
You track him intently, feeling incredibly vulnerable without him at your side. Heâs got a calm confident about him as he settles onto the couch, smiling at you and giving you enough comfort that you donât quite melt into a puddle. You canât keep yourself from shifting nervously, but your heartbeat is steady.
âWe ready then?â Kyle asks once heâs comfortable, tapping his fingers on the arm of the couch.
âHm,â Simon hums, shifting forward to lock a hand in Johnnyâs collar where the chain connecting his hands is still locked. âGet on your knees, girl.â
Your eyes dart to Kyleâs, and at his nod and reassuring smile you take a deep breath, settling into your skin a bit.
It takes quite a bit of balance to sink to the floor without falling, trussed up as you are, but you manage it. The fact that you can bend your elbows helps tremendously, and youâre thankful for Kyleâs foresight.Â
You hesitate for a moment on your knees, taking a few steadying breaths and making sure you're not pushing yourself too quickly. You let your eyes linger on each of the other men, sizing them up, then begin to shift even lower.
Soap moans loudly when you sink to your stomach, back arched and ass pushed in the air with your arms laid out flat in front of you. You watch him carefully, face pressed to your arms as you settle as much as you can against the plush rug.Â
Johnnyâs panting open-mouthed behind the muzzle, pupils already blown and cock kicking against his thigh. His hands keep twitching above his chest, like heâs tugging against the chain keeping him caught. Youâre certain that if Ghost werenât holding him, heâd already be on top of you and shoving himself deep even without hands to guide him.
âPretty girl,â you hear Gaz coo, and when you glance at him you see heâs pressing the heel of his hand to the tent in his pants. âYou gonna let your boy go anytime soon?â
âPlease,â Johnny pants, wiggling towards you as much as he can.
âEasy,â Ghost scolds, yanking Johnny closer as he unclips the chain leash from his belt, metal jingling. âTrust me, Garrick, you donât want him havinâ free-rein with the mood heâs in.â
You mewl behind the gag, but it goes unheard. Johnny certainly doesnât miss the way you wiggle your ass though, eyes trained on the lace cupping you perfectly.
âFuck, sir, câmon,â he moans, turned to face you fully and straining to get as close as he can.
Ghost only grunts as he yanks Johnny back, forcing him to fall back against his legs and clipping his leash to the D-ring on the back of Soapâs collar, holding it tight to keep the pup from moving forward.
âYou want to actually use your paws or not?â He growls, grabbing the chain connecting Johnnyâs mitts to his collar and yanking, nearly sending the man to the ground. âHuh?â
âYes, yes, câmon, lemme touch her, sir, pleaseââ
âWhat do you think, Gaz?â Simon asks, eyes trained on your form as you shift against the floor. âWant him touchinâ your pretty kitty? He might fuck her up.â
You mewl again, just barely audible, and Johnny moans like heâs already coming.
Gaz hums, stroking himself slowly over his pants. "Leave the mitts on,â he decides. âI like what sheâs wearing, donât want it ruined because one mutt canât control himself.â
You know Johnnyâs already sunk decently far into his headspace because he doesnât respond to that even though his mouth's free, just continues to wriggle in Simonâs hold with his focus centered solely on you.Â
âFair enough,â Ghost says, tone near a laugh. âWouldnât mind seeinâ that set again, myself.â He shakes Johnny a bit, the leashâs links jingling loudly. âHow about it, pup? Want to get dressed up all pretty for me?â
Johnnyâs eyes nearly roll back in his head as he moans, and youâre momentarily concerned heâs going to come before he can even properly fuck you.Â
You shift against the floor to try and encourage Simon to just let go, shifting your knees apart so that youâre exposed more fully, the crotchless panties letting air brush over where youâre most sensitive.Â
Johnnyâs whine is nearly drowned out by Simonâs laugh, and heâs unhooking the chain keeping Soapâs hands tied in the next moment.
You can hardly blink before Johnnyâs on you, his heat enveloping you entirely as he throws himself over your back, hard cock already pressed against your folds.Â
Your arousal coats him immediately, and the two of you moan in sync at the feeling, his sound vibrating through your back and yours silenced by the soft gag in your mouth. His mitted hands rest on either side of your head, and the wire muzzle digs into your cheek as he tries his best to kiss you.
âPretty, pretty,â he slurs, voice lower than it was just a few minutes ago. âSuch a pretty kitty, all for me, yeah? Just for me.â
Thereâs a loud clink sound, and Johnnyâs head jerks away from yours as he chokes.
âNot yours,â Gaz reminds as Ghost keeps Johnny from pressing back to you fully. âJust cause I let you fuck her doesnât mean she belongs to you, puppy.â
You can just barely see Johnnyâs scowl out of the corner of your eyes, your vision slightly blurred from tears as you wait impatiently for what you know comes next.
âFuck, fine, Christ,â Johnny grumbles, and a moment later heâs back on you fully, tracing the muzzle over your shoulders. You know that if it werenât there, youâd already have bruises slowly taking shape all over the column of your neck, and say a silent thank you to Ghost for sparing you the soreness.Â
Johnny ruts against you steadily for as long as you know he can handle, his thick cock hot against you. You writhe as best you can beneath him, but youâve got almost no room to move with your arms bound as they are and Johnnyâs weight holding you down.
âCan I fuck her, then?â He says, voice rough as the head of his cock brushes your clit. âCâmon, let me make her a mess, yeah? Shit, Gaz, she fuckinâ needs me, lemme fuck her, pleaseââ
Gazâs laugh is warm but Ghostâs is mean, and even you canât help but melt a bit at the sound, trying to sink into the carpet.
âYou should be askinâ me, mutt,â Simon says, yanking again on the leash so that Johnnyâs head is tugged away from yours. âGaz already gave you the girl, âs me you ask if you want to use that little prick.â
âGhost, Ghost, câmon, sir,â Johnny pants, and you canât help but arch and press your hips back against him, just as desperate as he is. âIâve been good, ye said so â Iâll fuck her good, promise, give ye a good show anâ everythinâ, just let me- fuck, need to fuck her, cannae breathe, Si, just lemmeââ
âFine, fine,â Ghost finally says, tugging his cock from his pants as he lets the leash fall limp in his grasp and gives Johnny near freedom. âPathetic thing, arenât you?â
Anything else either Simon or Kyle says is lost to you, your ears ringing when you go from painfully empty to amazingly full, your cunt spread wide around Johnny in one breath.
He growls when he canât bury himself to the hilt in one thrust, your walls clenching tight around him and desperately trying to accommodate his length. Kyle had just barely prepped you â just enough so you wouldnât be seriously hurt, not enough to make this easy â and you can feel the lack of it now, hole stinging.
Your breath is stolen when, what feels like just a moment later, Johnny jerks back then sinks himself fully inside of you, balls resting against your clit. Youâre glad the muzzle is breathable, because your lungs are spasming as your entire system is rocked, desperately trying to accommodate the sudden rush of pleasure, then need.
You canât help the way tears stream down your cheeks as Johnny starts to truly fuck you, completely disregarding any need you might have to adjust to the stretch of his cock inside of you, immediately bullying himself into you again and again. The rush you get from going from almost no sensation to this is one you adore, and you try your best to fuck back on Johnny with what little leverage you have.
Your nails scratch desperately at the carpet, wide eyes locked onto Gaz as youâre relentlessly fucked, again and again. Heâs fished his own cock out of his pants, sitting up straight and leaning towards you as he jacks himself with quick, smooth tugs. You nearly go cross-eyed trying to focus on his length, face bouncing against your tied arms and blurring your vision even further.
âDamn,â you hear Ghost grunt, voice so low you can barely hear it. âLookâit that, Garrick.â
âI see,â your boyfriend purrs, and you melt all the more at the sound of his voice, Johnnyâs pace finally shifting onto the right side of too much, the burn in your hole shifting from pain to pleasure. âYour boy is wreckinâ her good, sir.â
ââS what heâs trained for,â Ghost says, and Johnny moans. You can feel the way his cock twitches inside of you, and your orgasm is so close you can taste it.
Johnny doesnât talk much as he fucks you this time, but he never does once he actually gets inside of you â he gets drunk on your cunt, always has, gets drooly and melty over you, thinking of nothing but his own pleasure. Lucky for you, the way your cunt spasms around him as you come is usually the fastest way for him to trigger his own orgasm.Â
Thatâs what you know heâs chasing now, as he bullies his cockhead against your g-spot again and again, one hand pressing on your shoulder to keep you held in a steep arch, his precision impressive considering heâs far past words and has been reduced to nothing but growls and moans.Â
Your moans escalate to squeals as you squirm against the floor, the lace of your bra rubbing perfectly against your nipples and your fingers twisting into the fibers of the carpet. You can feel the lines pressed into your back from where Johnnyâs shoved his face against you, trying to get his mouth as close to your skin as possible. Instead of hickies you get spit, drool smeared all across your shoulder blades and neck.Â
You can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips when it finally hits you, your orgasm shuddering through every limb as you convulse on the floor. Your cunt squeezes Johnny tightly, making him feel even larger inside of you as you scream through the gag.Â
Your vision whites out as Johnny fucks you even harder, free arm wrapping around your neck and hauling you as close to him as possible. He has to work to fuck in and out of you now, your body doing it's best to keep him still.
His muzzle presses into your cheek as he holds his face next to yours, both of you sweaty and hot as he uses you for his pleasure, clawing closer and closer to a peak youâre already floating blissfully on. His bicep flexed around your neck and your eyes roll back in your head at the display of strength, mindless with pleasure.
Your collar tingles delightfully as youâre jerked against Johnny with every thrust, melting into the music of Johnnyâs moans and Kyle and Simonâs hands against their own cocks - Ghost is silent but you can hear Kyle moaning, always vocal when he's close.
Youâre still blinking the stars from your eyes when you feel Johnnyâs cum spurt inside of you, cock jerking as the man himself melting into a puddle over your lax body and humps you slowly.
Your eyes are half-lidded as he rides his own orgasm, sweat-slick and sticky as you float in the after of getting fucked rough and raw, a cock still plugging you for your hole to milk.
You can feel Johnny panting against your neck as he slowly comes down himself, running his paws over your sides once he lets his arm fall away from your neck. Youâre pressed flat to the rug, his weight almost suffocating when he isnât bothering to hold himself up.Â
You manage to open your eyes just in time to see Kyle come, the edges of your vision still blurred as he paints his own palm white. Youâre yourself enough to whine, always sad to see his come go to waste when you could taste it or feel it painting your insides. Kyleâs smiling even as he shudders through his orgasm, like he knows just what youâre thinking and how badly you wish you could crawl to him and make it a reality.
But youâre firmly pinned beneath Johnny, even when he lifts his hips just enough to let his cock slip from you before dropping his weight again so youâre pressed entirely against one another.Â
Simon is the last to come, though he does so silently and you miss the exact moment he finally finishes â you only know because Johnny moans against you, hips rocking like heâs the one getting off, not another man nearly six feet away. Your eyes are already heavy by then, and you donât bother looking over to see Ghost finish himself off, heâs never been the one youâre here for.
Itâs several long moments before anything changes, and by then youâre nearly half-asleep. Youâre distantly aware of Johnny either pulling away or being pulled away, even more aware of the unpleasant chill to your skin when your sweat and spit soaked back is left naked. You hear Gaz coo and feel his arms wrapping around you, leaving the soft rug slowly and behind lifted into his arms.
You purr softly, arms folded up to rest your hands beneath your chin, curling as far into Kyleâs arms as you can.
âHush, kitty,â he whispers, settling back onto the couch with you on his lap. You press your face into the underside of his jaw, collar softly jingling. âYou did so well for us, put on such a pretty show.â
âI was half of it,â you hear Johnny slur, his voice muffled, always the fastest to recover and get himself ready for round two.
âHush,â Ghost scolds, and for once, Johnny obeys.
Gaz laughs softly, and you smile beneath the muzzle as you relax fully into his arms, warm and content as he holds you.
#how tf do i tag this lmao#we're leaving ghost out#soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#soap cod#soap smut#john mactavish smut#johnny mactavish smut#bo writes#soap mactavish smut#cod fanfic#call of duty fanfic#kinktober 2024#soap x reader#kinktober#kinktober day 3#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz garrick x reader
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moth to a flame
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, praise, body worship, eye contact, public sex act, dry humping, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary:Â Your friend invites you to a bonfire where you meet a man who knows you better than you think. plus! reader
Characters:Â Bucky Barnes
Note: this is my first of my autumn fics as decided by all of you!.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. Iâm trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I havenât forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting âpart 2?â is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. đ
Natasha is the coolest person you know. Probably the coolest person most people will ever meet; if they have the privilege. So it is that you wonder how sheâs your friend. Itâs really too good to be true which is why you canât help but feel a bit enamoured by her.Â
It has to be real though. If youâre not friends, she wouldnât invite you to her annual bonfire. A sacred tradition for her, or so youâve heard. A gathering of all her closest friends. They are truly elite company. Not just your everyday schmucks, but The Avengers.Â
Youâre sure youâll seem a bit lame walking up with your basket of pumpkin muffins home-made cider. Still, you were taught to always bring something with you. Though it does provide an obstacle to getting to the front door smoothly.Â
You carry the large glass jug of cider by the metal handle as you hug the basket to your side. You struggle you hit the lock button on your keys and stop short as the cider sloshes around dangerously and throws your balance. As you try to correct yourself, footsteps scuff up behind you.Â
âNeed help?â The deep voice is like silk.Â
You look over your shoulder, nearly tipping over as you do. The stranger manages to scoop up the basket before you tip it and you giggle in embarrassment. You sigh and let him take it from you.Â
Oh, heâs not a stranger. Well, you know his name, even if you donât know him. Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. One of Natashaâs many high-profile friends. Again, you ask yourself how you ended up there.Â
âOop, thanks so much,â you say. âI shouldâve made two trips.âÂ
âNo problem,â he assures you. âYou a friend of Natâs?âÂ
âUh, yeah,â you smile, turning back up the walk as he keeps stride with you. âNew friend, I guess.âÂ
âFriend is a friend. She only keeps me around because I made friends with a string bean back in 1930.â He chuckles.Â
âYou mean--â You stop yourself and look away. You don't want to come off as a fangirl that quick. âUh, well, we met at an event. She was teaching self-defense for the womanâs shelter.âÂ
âOh, you work there?â He asks.Â
You keep your eyes off of him, âI lived there. Not anymore.âÂ
âAh, well, thatâs good? Youâre in a better place?â He asks.Â
You nod, âmuch better.â You swallow and exhale. âI know who you are. Youâre Bucky Barnes.âÂ
âIâm never gonna get used to that,â he scoffs. âTakes the excitement out of meeting new people.âÂ
âOh, sorry, I...â you trail off before your nerves can break through. Â
You donât think Natasha would ever have become your friend if she knew you were such a geek about her other friends. Cap and Iron Man and even Thor. They were the real-life heroes that inspired you to be your own. And it was a poster of Steve Rogers himself that sparked the last fight that led to you leaving your ex.Â
âItâs fine, so, do I get a name? Unfortunately, I donât have the whole mind-reading thing going on,â he knocks on the heavy door as you shift the jug in your grip. You give your name as you peek over at him sheepishly. âThese smell...â he lifts the basket and takes a whiff, âdelicious.âÂ
âI hope they are. My first time using my apartment stove. Itâs gas. Iâm used to electric,â you explain. âUh, pumpkin muffins, if thatâs what you were asking. Sorry, I...â you turn to the door and rub your lips together, âif Iâm honest, Iâm super nervous.âÂ
âNervous?â He echoes. âAbout?âÂ
âWell, Iâm not the greatest with crowds. Especially since the shelter... ugh, I donât know why I keep bringing that up.â You cringe, âbut uh, just... new people. I guess.âÂ
âAh,â he nods and teeters on his treads, knocking again, âdamn it, Nat, what the hell are ya doin?â He grumbles. âWell, if itâs any consolation, Iâm not really a people person either. The arm... itâs quite the ice breaker.â He sniffs, âI hate talking about the goddamn thing.âÂ
âUm, yeah, that would be... awkward,â you utter.Â
The door opens before he can respond. Youâre glad for it. You hadnât thought about it but now all you can think of is if his arm has a built-in can opener.Â
âOh, he-eyyyy,â Natasha stutters as her eyes flit between you and Bucky, âyouâre here. Both of you. At the same time?âÂ
âUhhh, yeah,â you peek at Bucky.Â
âRan into each other a few steps back. Youâre shit at introducing people, Natty.âÂ
She rolls her eyes and waves him off. She turns to you. âWow, and whatâs all this?âÂ
âI brought cider and--âÂ
âMuffins,â Bucky finishes for you as he lifts the basket higher. âIâm not much of a baker.âÂ
âOr a guest,â she retorts. âThatâs so amazing, thank you.â She reaches to take the basket, âcome on, Iâll show you around. Bucky, I think you already know where the litter box is.âÂ
Bucky tuts and shakes his head, ânice seeing you too.â He follows you in and faces you, âtry to enjoy yourself. I know sheâs a bit of a party pooper. Even if she is the host.âÂ
âWith guests like you, how can I not be,â Natasha trills and beckons you onward, âdonât worry about your shoes. Weâll most be outside so Iâll do a full sweep and mop tomorrow.â She turns and struts away.Â
Your eyes creep down her hour glass figure. You feel like a pervert as you do but you canât help it. Even in a flannel and jeans, her body is perfect. The cowl neck of your red sweater and your corduroy feels a little less cute.Â
âYou made these yourself?â She asks as she leads you into a large kitchen.
Thereâs a square island with a hardwood top and matching counters and cupboards; the tile is burgundy with black iron accents. You marvel as you compare it in your head to your boxy apartment with the peeling laminate and squeaky faucets.Â
âUh, yeah,â you answer as you lift the jug of cider onto the counter. âApple cider and pumpkin muffins.âÂ
âYou are too sweet. I have to admit, I got catering for tonight. I'm no good in a kitchen,â she chuckles. âLived off of Hydra rations for so long, I canât do much more than open a can or vacuum seal.âÂ
âOh, right. Nothing fancy,â you shrug. âYou know, I just found the recipes online. Got some apples from the farmersâ market... I donât know if itâs any good.âÂ
âIâm sure itâs all delicious. Bet the cider would be great with some whiskey,â her voice is smokey as she smirks. âWanna put that theory to the test?âÂ
âUm, if you want. Iâm okay either way.âÂ
âI wonât blame you if you need some liquid courage before facing the rest. Work friends can be a bit much,â she chuckles. âBesides, I have a bottle thatâs been sitting in my cabinet for too long.âÂ
âSure,â you accept, not wanting to be rude. And sheâs right. You need something to take the edge off.Â
She hums as she leaves the muffins next to the jug and she spins to the cupboard. She takes out two glasses that resemble jars and a dark bottle of liquor. You watch her put it all together with ice and a cinnamon stick to boot.Â
âMay as well get some before the rest devour it,â she slides a glass toward you and lifts the other, âcheers.âÂ
You smile and clink her glass. You taste it and your cheeks pinch. The cider is good but you can definitely taste the whiskey. You hold back a cough and cover your mouth.Â
âI am just rewarming the hors dâoevres but if you want to wait, I can introduce you to everyone.âÂ
Heat roils from the oven as it glows from within and there are trays waiting for serving. Sheâs already put so much in. You donât want to make her day even more strenuous. After all, she didnât have to invite you.Â
âNo, itâs... youâre busy but if you need help.âÂ
âDonât be crazy. Youâre a guest. Go, enjoy the party. Iâll be out shortly. Everythingâs mostly out there already.âÂ
âOkay, but um, I can take the muffins at least.âÂ
âAlright,â she agrees.Â
You grab the basket and go to the door. You pause as you realise you donât know where youâre going. Natasha laughs again.Â
âOther way, back door is right on the other side of me,â she sweeps around the kitchen swiftly.Â
âRight,â you turn back and cross the tile; one arm around the basket, your other hand cradling your glass. You push outside with your shoulder and step out onto the deck. Â
Thereâs a long table of snacks as promised. You go to it and put down the basket as you dare to glance up at the guests speckled around the yard. Pairs and trios stand in the grass and around the already crackling fire. They all seem to know each other and you recognise quite a few of them.Â
âBuns?â The question has you lurching in surprise as you face another partygoer.Â
âOh, uh, no, muffins,â you lift the lid to show the contents. âPumpkin.âÂ
âOooh,â the blond grins. The golden hair, the square jaw, broad shoulders; how could you mistake Captain America? âCan I try?âÂ
âOf course. I brought them for everyone,â you smile and tightly clutch your glass of cider. âYouâre... Captain America.âÂ
âHa, well, not here. I prefer Steve,â he takes out a muffin and peels away the liner. âAnd youâre... one of Xavierâs recruits?âÂ
âXavier? Whoâno. Iâm...â you introduce yourself as he sinks his teeth in to the muffin. Your stomach flips. What if itâs bad? âNatashaâs friend. Erm, I guess thatâs what we all are but nope, Iâm just me. Just a... civilian?âÂ
He laughs, âjust a civilian? Damn good baker. I donât go for pumpkin often but this is amazing.âÂ
âReally?â You beam and bounce on your toes.Â
âOh, yeah--âÂ
âSave some for the rest of us, punk,â Bucky comes up from behind Steve. âJust like him to be chatting up the cutest girl at the party. What line did he use?âÂ
âLine? Iâm just having a muffin,â Steve grimaces.Â
âMm, muffins,â Bucky reaches in front of his friend to claim a treat of his own, âwas waiting on these.âÂ
He eyes your glass of cider and you take a sip. You pull your lips off the brim and gulp, âoh, the rest is inside if you want some.âÂ
âShe made that too,â Bucky points at your cup. âWho knew Natasha had cool friends?âÂ
You giggle, âno, Iâm not... just muffins.âÂ
âGood muffins,â Bucky says through a mouthful, âmmm.âÂ
âMight be good to hide them,â Steve remarks as he gives Bucky the side eye.Â
âHey, these two meatheads giving you trouble?â Another figure approaches from the back door. You turn as Tony stark flips up his dark sunglasses. He sports a red velvet jacket with collar popped.Â
Buckyâs lips thin and Steve shakes his head, âyouâre late,â the latter rebukes.Â
âItâs a party, capsicle. Chill. Wait, donât do that. We might not see you for another seventy years.âÂ
Steve scowls and takes another bite of his muffin. Bucky picks at his own and looks away. You nervously glance between them all.Â
âTony Stark,â the new arrival offers his hand, âbut you already know that, donât you, sweetheart? So who are you?âÂ
âCharming,â Steve comments.Â
âItâs called getting to the point, Rogers. Some of us arenât gonna wait around until theyâre in the nursing home.âÂ
Steve growls and Bucky nudges him. The blond nods and looks at you, âIâll see ya around.âÂ
âSure,â you accept. Bucky waves with two fingers and follows Steveâs retreat. You turn back to Tony and shake his hand as you recite your name. âNice to meet you.âÂ
âNatasha didnât say this was a meet-cute,â he winks.Â
âUmmm,â you glance around nervously.Â
âTeasing ya. You look lost. You want the low-down on the dweebs,â he flicks his index towards the grass. âNow, you see, that kid right there, thatâs Parker. His alias is top secret. For his safety. He might blurt it out anyway. And thatâs his buddy Miles,â he points at to younger guests. âSomeone should really separate them. We donât need a mess.âÂ
He snickers and puts his arm around you as he moves you toward the top step of the deck, âand thereâs the mighty God of Thunder. We all know the puppy dog, and then thereâs his stray cat of a brother. Trust me, I tried to have him ejected into space but apparently, they can survive that.â
He tuts. âAnd thereâs Bruce, good guy. When heâs calms. And Brock. Real question mark, that guy. Maria, Coulson, Sam, Strange; the better Steve if you ask me. And Wanda, her husband; I made him, his name is Vision but I guess Victor is more âhumanâ.âÂ
He runs his hand up your arm as he pulls you closer, âthereâs Charles, he prefers Professor, and his group of ragtag individuals. I could tell you their names but Iâm already bored. Oh, except that one, the angry one with the swoopy hair. Thatâs Logan. Leave him alone. Heâs even worse than the bozo with the vibranium arm.Â
âNow, TâChalla has more important things to do so we donât got anyone else worth mentioning,â he drags his hand down your sleeve then lets go, âIâm sure youâll be tired of all of us before the nightâs done. I assure you, heroes save people, not the vibe.âÂ
He clicks his tongue and jumps off the top step. You watch him strut off and you stare after him. Thereâs a lot more people than you expected. Familiar but still strangers. Â
The only good thing is thereâs more than enough guests for you to fade into the background. Youâre tempted to go back in and offer to help Natasha. You know better than that. She always sees right through you. Sheâll know immediately that youâre just hiding from social interaction.Â
đĽ
The night wears on into darkness. The large pit burns brightly as voices buzz and shadows waver. You stand watching the lick of flames, unnoticed amid the furor. Or so you think.Â
âHey, thereâs cider left,â Bucky appears at your side, his sleeve brushing yours. âGot you a top up.âÂ
âOh, thatâs... nice.â You accept the glass as he holds another for himself. âYou didnât have to.âÂ
âYou look... lonely. I donât know. Felt bad. You went to all that trouble and youâre wading through this sea of people you donât know.â He shrugs. âHate these things myself. I just came âcause Nat asked. Well, she tells. You know, you canât say no to her.âÂ
âHa, yeah,â you agree. She isnât just strong-willed, sheâs intimidating.Â
âI usually end up just drifting around until everyoneâs distracted, then I dip,â he explains. âOr find somewhere quiet.â He quiets to take a sip, âhow about it? Everyoneâs out here, thereâs a sofa up on the deck.â Your teeth chatter as you try to taste the cider, âand A blanket.âÂ
âMm, it said it wasnât supposed to get cold,â you look down embarrassed. You finally get a mouthful. Itâs sweeter than before. Maybe because thereâs no whiskey.Â
âHuh, well, you donât gotta hang out with a boring old man like me. Just figured Iâd offer,â he says.Â
âThanks, thatâs nice.âÂ
âWell, I can be nice when I want to,â he raises his glass slightly and turns away.Â
As he marches off, you watch his back. Your eyes wander around. No one else even notices you. Theyâre all so wrapped up in each other. Even Natashaâs barely stopped to chat.Â
âWait,â you call after Bucky, âI could sit down.âÂ
He stops and turns as you scurry after him. The fire light flickers and limns the sharp angles of his face. He waits until your right beside him to continue on.Â
âSo, you already know what I do for work. What about you?â He asks as you climb the steps in tandem.Â
âIâm a cashier,â you answer. âI work at a pet store.âÂ
âHm, I like animals,â he leads you to the sofa. You can see the glow of the fire but the voices arenât so raucous from up there.Â
âYeah, we mostly just have birds and hamsters there. Nothing very big. Itâs a small place,â you explain. âI... Itâs a new job.â You keep yourself from mentioning that the shelter helped you find it. Itâs not really what you want to do forever, but itâs something.Â
âStill, thatâs nice. You get to help people in your own way. Make sure they can spoil their pet,â he leans back as he balances his glass over one knee and you drink deeply from your own. âI got a cat. Demanding. A bit abusive.â He laughs then chokes on it. âJeez, Iâm sorry. That was a bad joke.âÂ
You shake your head, âno, itâs not... really. Iâm not upset.âÂ
âYou sure?â He angles towards you.Â
âYeah, really. I can handle it,â you say.Â
He nods and hums, âyeah, Iâm sure youâve dealt with worse than words.âÂ
Youâre silent as you look down at the cup. You take another sip. He clears his throat as he shifts in the seat. He reaches back to put slide his phone from the back of his jeans. He leans forward to place it on the table.Â
âUgh,â he sits back. âBetter.âÂ
You smile, âwell, you donât just work, do you? When did you get your cat?âÂ
âOh, she just made herself at home really. It wasnât exactly a conscious or willing choice,â he laughs. You fold one arm around your middle and shiver again. âAh, whereâs that blanket--âÂ
He reaches to the back of the couch and pulls down the blanket. It hits his glass and he loses grip of both. He huffs as he soaks the flannel in cider.Â
âDamn,â he stands and holds out the sopping blanket before it can drip onto him or the couch. âJust like me. Hold on. Iâll go get another blanket and clean this up.âÂ
He untangles the cup from the blanket and sidles past you. You sit back silently as he heads for the back door. You glance over and consider sneaking over to the table to pick at the leftovers. Instead, you huddle down against another evening breeze. Â
You finish all but a mouthful of side and reach to place it on the wooden table. His phone lights up and draws your attention. You blink as your eyes instinctively find the screen. You get a glimpse of the wallpaper right before it goes dark again. Huh?Â
You shake off what you think you saw and the phone lights up again. You lean over and sink your teeth around the gasp that threatens to spill out. That canât be.Â
You check over your shoulder before you reach for the phone. You tap the side button and gape at your own image staring back at you. Thereâs a chat bubble floating on the front screen; new messages. You tap and expand the preview. Itâs from Nat; âyou find her?âÂ
Your stomach sinks and you nearly drop the phone. The door opens and you quickly set it back down and sit back. You cross your arm and stare out at the other guests. Nothing can happen as long as you donât leave.Â
He comes back and you flinch as he drapes a blanket over you. He drops down onto the couch as he pulls it snug around your front. He drags his grip down the edges before he lets go. âBetter?âÂ
âMhmm,â you agree and blink. Your eyes feel dry. You reach up to rub them.Â
âReally good cider. Youâll have to send me the recipe,â he insists.Â
âSure,â you slur and try to shake it off. âIâll find the link...â you swallow and cough. You donât feel right. You need some space to think. âI need to use the bathroom, one sec.âÂ
You try to stand but donât even get your ass off of the sofa before you slump over. Your head crashes into Buckyâs shoulder. He opens his arm around you and rubs your back. He hushes you as you babble.Â
âYouâre okay, baby,â he rubs your back, âI got you.âÂ
You try to make a noise but you canât. You canât whine or whimper or scream. You can just squeak as he pushes you back up so you fall back against the arm.Â
âI measured...â he says quietly. âYou shouldnât pass out.âÂ
You gurgle and lift your arm. It takes so much effort that it drops down like a bag a sand. The cider...
He shifts and stands, moving your leg behind him before he lowers himself back down. His hand rests on your thigh. His thumb presses into your soft flesh.Â
âGod, youâre so beautiful, doll,â he traces up and down the seam of your pants. âAbsolutely gorgeous.â He runs his finger along your pelvis, making a vee back and forth, âsoft and... warm.âÂ
âB--BâB--â you stutter.Â
âThe moment I saw you, I knew you needed me,â he moves even closer, his hand crawling up your stomach. âWhoever chased you into that place, he didnât deserve you. You deserve better.âÂ
He moves carefully, lifting himself and twisting onto his knees. His hand glides back along your thigh as he folds it around him. You twitch but canât do more than that. He bends and holds himself over you.Â
He curls an arm under your head and nuzzles you. Your eyes roll back as you hide behind your eyelids. This canât be real. What is he doing? How can he have photos of you on his phone? And that text... did Natasha set this up? Why would she do that? Sheâs your friend.Â
âLook at me,â he growls. His voice is scary. Your eyes snap open and you groan. The tip of his nose rolls around yours. âGod, youâre beautiful. Doll, Iâm gonna take such good care of you.â He leans his pelvis against you as he presses down, âIâm going to keep you safe.âÂ
He tilts his hips until you feel his bulge against you. Your eyes round and you puff out a foggy breath. What is he doing?Â
âDonât look away,â he snarls as he slides his arm back and grips the back of your head. âMmm, I just... I love the way you look at me. The way you feel beneath me.â He rasps as he rocks his hips steadily, âI canât wait to have you on me, doll. To feel you on top of me. Around me. Mm, I wanna taste you so bad.Â
âMm, your chest,â he touches your tits, âyour stomach, your hips,â his hand explores with his declaration and he hooks his hand under you, âyour ass. All mine.âÂ
His coarse whispers tingle through you. What he says is nasty and wrong and yet itâs thrilling. Terrifying because you can do nothing to stop him. Defeating because all the people only feet away wonât either.Â
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#fic#one shot#autumn#mcu#marvel#winter soldier#avengers#captain america#dark fic#dark!fic
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Now that we are 3 episodes in, I find the dynamic and relationship between Celebrimbor and Annatar endlesslly fascinating when compared to Galadriel and Halbrand. First, for most of Sauron's existence he has lived in a constant and ancient adversarial existence where his relationships are mostly defined by subservience and/or control. He is either the servant or the master. You see that struggle play out with how he interacts with Celebrimbor. He postures himself as meek, humble and magnanimous. He lavishes flattery upon everyone around him with an unassuming air. But still the audience can frequently see his dominant and aggressive urges bubble to the surface. Gal clocked him when she said the rags of the common chafe him. There is a sinister and ambitious inferno that is just beneath his facade and Charlie Vickers does a wonderful job of showing that internal struggle.
Then you compare that to Halbrand and Galadriel's relationship. He literally yells at her. Insults her. Tells her to go home. He compares her to a horse and says she is beneath his "very low standards." He is RUDE. And unlike previous forms, he is shabby, weak and has no obvious gifts that wound endear himself to her as a strategic asset. And yet Gal is drawn to him. Sauron must have been tickled to pieces that despite pushing her away and adopting an insufferable manner, Gal KEEPS coming back. As a spirit that has spent his entire existence mesmerized and drawn to the light, without his usual repertoire of flattery and lies, Gal comes back to him. This creature of light is attracted to him, the Dark Lord. The Abhorred.
Where he lures Celebrimbor with grandiosity and outright lies, he doesn't with Galadriel. Moreover, you do not see those revealing moments of simmering rage and violent urges with Gal. I hypothesize it's because he doesn't feel conflicted with her. He is haunted by the ghosts of his mistakes, yes. But the war inside him is quelled. He finds some peace, a kind of balance. He doesn't try to control her or keep her under his thumb. He wants her at his side. Not cowering beneath him. Not shrinking in fear. Because he feels the white noise of his internal conflict is quieted, he is able to be clear-eyed regarding his purpose.
And I think Galadriel shares that immense feeling of overwhelming relief when one finds their counterpart. I believe there is a large part of her that drives her to wear the ring because she thinks she can, perhaps, reclaim some of that inner clarity. She can recapture that feeling she shared with Halbrand. Also, side note, I love that the writers gave Galadriel such a rich history with water and out of that came Nenya, the Ring of Water. It is where they met, where they clasped arms in partnership and where Sauron proposed their binding.
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PAC: "What do you need to let go of?" (call-out from your guides)
"Once we rid ourselves of the shackles of our own self-imposed limitations, we will be able to soar higher and further than the birds in the sky." - said by me
(reminder: this is for entertainment purposes only. Only take what resonates) Choose with mic will lovingly call you out~
Pile 1:
Pile 1: 8 of Coins, Judgement, 7 of Cups, 3 of Cups
Right off the bat, the first phrase I heard was, âunrealistic high standardsâ. Oomph. *nervously looking away*
Pile 1, by any chance, are you known as the âresident heartbreakerâ in your community because of the trail of broken hearts you leave behind? Itâs great to have standards but you need also to remember that nobodyâs perfect, not even you dear pile 1. Thereâs this journal prompt(?) Iâve encountered before about listing down all the characteristics you want in your ideal partner, then sitting down and reflecting if your ideal would wish to have a partner like you. Itâs such a humbling yet eye-opening journal prompt TBH. Donât expect the best if you wonât show up as the best version of yourself. Like⌠if you want the best, you have to be the best version of yourself as well.
What you also need to let go of Pile 1 is your hyper-self-awareness. Granted that itâs great knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are but there is such a thing as too much. I heard, âA healthy balance is keyâ in your case. Sorry for the call out Pile 1 but from the second card as well, your perfectionistic tendencies are slowly making themselves known. You might have these âall-or-nothingâ tendencies, like a âblack-or-whiteâ mindset sometimes. It seems you have high standards for others and yourself, so you tend to intellectualize your feelings instead of feeling them. Again, apologies for the call-out Pile 1.
The last card feels like a desperation for external validation. Like, you feel you always need someone to impress or win over to feel like youâre good enough. Thereâs this unworthiness wound that needs to be addressed. Also, chronic people-pleasing tendencies to the point of immediate self-sacrificial tendencies. Pile 1, you need to learn to let go of this unhealthy thirst for external validation. Because the moment you lose your âaudienceâ, you feel lost and listless. You need to remember that you are worthy of love, happiness, and success in life because you exist.
Pile 2:
Pile 2: 2 of Cups, Tower, 10 of Swords, Strength
Iâm saying sorry in advance Pile 2 but the first thing I heard was, âYou need to learn to be happy alone.â Pile 2 either is the type that canât stand being single or is a hopeless romantic that has more fictional crushes than actual human relationships. (Apologies to all the romance genre bookworms all over the world). This pile falls under those two categories~
So for the serial daters, it seems that you need to take a bit of a break/pause and assess what do you want in a partner, your non-negotiables and negotiables. You are asked to donât say to every person that asks you out. Also heard that, donât date just because youâre bored, lonely, or have a lot of time to spare. Basically, you are called to only get into a relationship for the right reasons.
Now for the hopeless romantic who prefers fictional men to real men, I understand that you might have heard stories or had experiences that made you always choose the bear every single time. Those horror stories are an unfortunate reality for people into men. But I canât, in my good conscience as having nephews, say that all men are despicable human beings. Granted, not all men but still theyâre men. So⌠what Iâm saying here is, that your fictional boyfriends would want you to actually experience happiness through real human interactions too. So yup, keep your guard up to those who wear their red flags with pride, but do try to give a chance to good men out there.
What you also need to let go of Pile 2 is your destructive coping mechanisms whenever you feel triggered by your traumas. Yes, Iâm sorry to have it break it to you. You kinda felt this would eventually be mentioned, right? You are aware of your own destructive tendencies when triggered. You are aware that you unintentionally hurt your loved ones whenever they trigger you. And you also know you want to stop hurting people in the process. If therapy is expensive, try searching for somatic exercises and eft tapping. You donât always have to swallow a pill to get better at managing your anger issues and self-sabotaging tendencies. You just have to give yourself a safe space to be able to honor and validate your feelings/pain/trauma. Treat yourself as gentle and compassionate as possible, like you would a child whoâs just learning how to walk and talk.
Lastly, you are called to let go of your arrogance. Iâm really sorry for the call-out Pile 2 but the cards have spoken. Itâs great to know within yourself that you can walk your talk but you might have the tendency to bulldoze anyone that crosses your path. This might even cause an issue with authority figures. Thereâs a fine line between arrogance and confidence that you need to learn to master. Itâll help with the harmonious dynamics between you and your coworkers.
Pile 3:
Pile 3: 10 of Wands, 6 of Coins, Queen of Coins, Wheel of Fortune
Pile 3 feels like my burnt-out workaholic pile from the get-go. Being burdened by too much on your plate. Pile 3 might actually tend to take on other peopleâs problems. I understand you want to help out but you need to understand that you have limits too. You are asked to let go of the burdens that arenât actually yours to begin with. Youâre also asked to reprioritize your needs and responsibilities first before even considering helping someone else with their problems. I kept hearing, âYou canât pour out of an empty cup.â
Why does it feel like Pile 3 is my overly giving and generous pile? Sweetheart, please⌠I get how you want to help others out and give whenever you can. Just donât forget to keep some for yourself, okay? Iâm not asking you to stop being generous. Iâm asking you to discern who genuinely needs your generosity and who is abusing your kind and loving heart. Unfortunately, not everyone deserves you and your generous heart.
Pile 3, your pile really has me crying and whimpering, âPlease stop letting people walk all over you.â No wonder yâall are burnt out, you are the most loving, generous, and nurturing souls in the world to the point of being easy prey for abusive, manipulative narcissists. Iâm begging you Pile 3, discernment and boundaries. Youâre so nurturing and caring to the point of ignoring someoneâs red flags. So⌠you have to actually learn how to have healthy boundaries and practice discernment. Donât entertain the idea/potential of a person and see them for who they really are.
The last card feels like you need to let go of being too much of a âgoing with the flowâ to the point of not taking charge of your own life, Pile 3. I understand youâre adaptable and know how to roll with the punches, but it also feels like a drifter with no roots. Always letting yourself be carried wherever the wind blows, can be interpreted as letting people dictate how you should live your life. It seems that pile 3 tends to take a passive approach to living your life. I understand that people who are of authority claim they want whatâs best for you, but thatâs whatâs best based on THEIR values and preferences, not YOURS. So⌠please Pile 3, take the time to figure out what do you actually want to do with your life, in your own way. You are not just someoneâs child, not just someoneâs sibling/parent, not just someoneâs friend/classmate/coworker. You are your own person, with a heart that feels and a mind that can think for themselves.
Pile 4:
Pile 4: 2 of Coins, 6 of Swords, Knight of Swords, Chariot
The first card of Pile 4 feels like you need to let go of only prioritizing your needs while disregarding your desires. Itâs great to know how to be practical and resourceful, but you tend to only focus on nurturing the physical and basic needs, you tend to forget your emotional needs too. You tend to forget that you can let yourself enjoy your life while you work hard to provide for yourself and your family. Iâm hearing, âself-careâ is something you need to prioritize. Donât just say, âOh, I can just enjoy the fruits of my labor laterâ then realize your knees canât even be stable enough to carry your body to your bathroom. The last I heard from the first card was âGo on a vacation and treat yourself while your body is still able to live and move with ease.â
The next thing you need to let go of is your cut-off game, specifically your tendency to ghost people. It seems that Pile 4 is quite quick to cut people out of your lives without notice. It seems that pile 4 also tends to cut someone out of their life on impulse. Like, no explanation, no notice, no last goodbye. This is giving âghostingâ vibes. Itâs like, the person you cut off didnât even do anything wrong, yet pile 4 while just going ghost without a valid reason. Like, pile 4 may go ghost whenever someone is getting a bit too close to your heart and you tend to run before they even get a chance to offer any friendship/commitment. Pile 4, are you a commitment phobe?
Pile 4, what you need to let go of is your impatience. Not just towards others, but also towards yourself. The littlest inconveniences make you lose your cool quicker than a mic drop. Not everyone is capable of keeping up with your demands and requests, not even you. So please, learn to be more understanding and patient with yourself and other people. I understand that you want to just go-go-go, but you need to know that you shouldnât bulldoze your way through life. Learn to pace yourself by taking the time to smell the roses. Thereâs nothing wrong about going after what you want to get done, but you just need to remember that you donât always do everything perfectly in the first try. You too make mistakes. You too need time to learn from your mistakes and become a better version of yourself. So please, show yourself and others the same compassion and patience you wished someone would give you.
Finally, the last thing pile 4 needs to let go of is âbeing controllingâ. Iâm really sorry for this call-out Pile 4 but you must have heard this from someone else before. Just because you know whatâs best and know how to do it best, it doesnât mean you should always take the reins and just control everything and everyone to bend into your will. Your way isnât the only way to do things. You might be surprised that there are other ways to go about a task with minimal damage and effort. So please, let go of the concept that you have to always take charge and always be the leader.
Thank you for trying out my PAC reading. Feel free to give me a feedback on how your pile resonates with you.
#pick a card#divination#tarot cards#tarot#pick a photo#pac reading#pac tarot#pick a pile#pick a picture#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarotblr
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A flower blossoms for its own joy: How will you bloom?
A PAC about your blooming moment and how you will get there. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and choose the photo that speaks to you. 3 piles left to right. This is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates. Feel free to check other piles if it doesn't resonate :)))
Pile 1
I'm seeing that we have some shy people here or people who put a lot of thought before saying something in the sense that they don't want to provoke someone. The message here is to be little unapologetic about certain things. You don't have to be worried about how others perceive you. "Say the weird thing!" I know this can be hard especially if you're not around the right people but the trash will take itself out if you are more open about your likes and dislikes. This is the way you will find the people that are truly meant for you, by letting go and cutting some people off. Also, I'm seeing that you need to practice gratitude and mindfulness. Keeping a journal can help. Travel to places you have always wanted to visit. The last thing that you need to do in order to "blossom" is to accept help. I get that it is nice being independent but being humans we need community. I'm not asking you to be very social and have too many friends, cuz remember the earlier point of not gaf about what other people say; yeah just do enough so that you're comfortable :) Remember that this is going to be a new chapter in your life so the key is balance. I think you can imagine your blooming moment by now. For some of you I'm seeing the presence of a significant other. This will probably be a slow burn.
Here's a moodboard for you:
Songs:
Thank you for reading!
Pile 2
I'm mainly getting the vibe that you don't take care of yourself enough. Like no skincare, self care or you're not eating healthy. I'm not asking you to follow strict regimes to become flawless, I'm just saying that maybe something's missing, some deficiency perhaps (?) idk. I also get the vibe that you are tight on money or grew up in a low income household. There's a lack of self love in this pile. You feel like you don't deserve love or that you're low maintenance because of your past relationships. (That's just not true!) The remedy for all of this is investing in yourself. You don't have to go broke looking after yourself; keep a journal, write down your thoughts, write down positive affirmations, maybe change your wardrobe (clothes carry energy), have a candle light dinner with yourself, etc. I'm also seeing that you could be really good at handicraft so maybe you should start a business. You could even be a good photographer. You just need to start posting you're a true artist! If you do things that make you happy and calm you're going to get closer to your blooming moment. You're going to have a really beautiful house. Your house will be adorned with pottery, paintings, etc. I get a self-satisfied vibe :)
Here's a moodboard for you:
Songs:
Thank you for reading!
Pile 3
I'm getting that this pile is very different from the last two. You probably have everything anybody could ask for or, you are working towards it. You are really close to blooming but that will need just a little more effort. You will bloom if you acknowledge your roots. You have to be very humble and thankful. Maybe you have lost track of your identity due to the grind and the struggle. Taking short breaks from time to time could be a good idea. You will bloom when you include others into your plans. Try giving gifts to friends just because. Tell them that you are glad to have them in your life. Go camping or hiking, reconnect with nature. For some of you I'm seeing an ancestor that protects you because you remind them of themselves :)) Apart from this I see that you're good at your job and leave on the dot which may have ruffled the feathers of a few people. But you don't have to worry about that. Just be your usual self. "Your coworkers can very rarely be your friends so make time for the friends that you already have." - words from your ancestor. I see you happy and smiling in your blooming moment. Shaking hands with important people, doing what you love to do :)) Your ancestors and spirit guides are smiling too <3
Hers's a moodboard for you:
Songs:
Thank you for reading!
#pick a card#pick a pile#intuitive readings#divination#tarot#tarot reading#tarotblr#psychic readings#tarot community#duskyvenus
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Coke in the Midas Touch
UPDATED: 10/1/24
This is my first ever attempt at writing for the JJK fandom, specifically for my favorite 7:3 ratio sorcerer, Nanami. So, I hope I did the character justice. (This is also my first attempt at writing smut after having many years of reading it, so please be nice).
Summary description: Nanami Kento, after having left the Jujutsu society in exchange for a normal job as a salaryman, encounters the new hire at work who slowly becomes the object of his affections the more that she becomes the office scapegoat; Villain!Nanami.
Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I am not Japanese, nor am I an expert in Japanese work culture. So, if there are some things wrong, or inaccurately portrayed, I do apologize.
Content warning: use of Y/N, reader insert is afab and referred to as such, sexual themes, sex between characters, violence between characters, adults being overgrown children and should behave better at their grown ages but they don't, toxic work culture, pawa-hara culture.
WC: 12.7 K (it's a novel, I'm sorry)
Minors Do Not Interact
When Nanami Kento first laid eyes on her, he thought that she was unassuming.Â
On her very first day of work, he remembers that she was stood at the front of the office with the associate manager of the sales department, making the standard introduction of any new hire.
âHello! Itâs a pleasure to meet you all! My name is Y/N! I will try to do my best! Please take care of me!â Which was then followed by a full 45 degree bow at the waist.Â
He noted that her eyes were bright and filled with some semblance of hope. Nanami also cynically wondered how quick it would be for the corporate overlords, demanding deadlines, and lack of work-life balance to crush her spirit.Â
He had only been at this company for the past two, almost three, years, but he was already jaded to begin with.Â
She was assigned to be under his supervision for the training period, which Nanami found to be somewhat irritating. It wasnât anything against her, he just knew that he wasnât exactly the nicest person in the office, nor did he have the patience to deal with new hires. Somehow, they always ended up under his direct supervision for training purposes. Maybe it was his superiorâs way of tormenting him given the fact that he refused to engage in the locker room talk that the male employees would have about the female staff or that he didnât partake in the after work get-togethers at the local bars where they would all drink themselves silly. Or maybe it was his superior's way of letting him know that he was doing a âgreat jobâ by giving him more tasks, because they knew that they could count on Nanami to do proper work.Â
Nanami would like to think that it was the latter. However, he knew better than that.Â
âYour desk is located over here, by Nanami-san. Heâll be the one that will assist you with your orientation period.â Sheâs led over by the associate manager to the empty desk that sits beside Nanami. âIf you have any questions, refer to him. Heâs been at the company for the past several years and has done a fine job of it.â
Nanami gets up from his desk to greet them as they approach. âYou speak too highly of me, Akiyama-buchou,â Nanami rebukes, attempting to remain humble. His eyes fall from associate manager Akiyama to the new hire. âNanami Kento. Pleased to meet you.â He bows.Â
She bows, holding a box of items. âPleased to meet you!â her voice chipper.
âNow, before I leave, do you have any questions for me?â Akiyama asks her.
She shakes her head. âNo, sir.â
âAlright, well, Iâll leave you to it, then.â He promptly turns away, heading to his desk that was sectioned off in his own private office, leaving both Nanami and the new hire.
Alone. Somewhat.
Together.
She turns to face Nanami, placing the box of personal belongings on her desk, a small smile still on her face. âSoâŚwhat should we get started on first?âÂ
And thus, began a somewhat tentatively professional relationship between Nanami and the new hire. Every time she saw him first thing in the morning when the both of them were coming into the office, she would be quick to greet him with a cheerful: âGood morning, senpai!â that would be followed with vigorous waving. She always attempted to make conversation with him whenever she could, included him in small talk with other coworkers around the office, got him coffee whenever it was her turn to do the coffee runs even when he didnât request anything or want anything in particular (and she wouldnât allow him to pay her back for going out of her way). When the days would end, if she were to cross paths with Nanami while on theyâre way out, she would give him that same vigorous wave while saying: âHave a good night, senpai! Get home safely!âÂ
Nanami wasnât entirely too sure if she wanted something out of him or if she was just this nice all the time. Given, however, his previous experience with seeing the worst out of humanity and in the dealings of curses and cursed energy by proxy as a jujutsu sorcerer, could one really blame him?Â
Then again. Would it be too terrible for him to consider that maybe, just maybe⌠that out of all the shitty people in this world⌠that there was at least one good person that existed to make up for it?Â
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself.
~
âGood morning, senpai!â Nanami was greeted by her in the break room while he was getting a cup of coffee from the communal coffee machine.Â
Nanami glances over his shoulder to look at her. âGood morning.â He keeps his responses short.Â
Thereâs a small silence that follows between the two of them, the only sounds being the steady drip of the coffee machine and the whirring of the employee communal refrigerator. For Nanami, the silence wasnât uncomfortable. It was actually welcome.Â
âNanami-senpai.â
He turns to face her, holding the cup of coffee in his hand, staring at her quizzically.Â
âThere was talkâŚabout wanting to go out after work for drinks, and I was wondering if-â
âNo, thank you. Iâm not interested.â Nanamiâs response is immediate, as if he doesnât have to think twice about it. Heâs beyond accustomed to rejecting the offers to spend time with his co-workers outside of work.Â
The next words die in her throat as soon as she hears Nanamiâs dismissal. A sinking feeling of dejection fills her chest as Nanami rejects her offer, but sheâs quick to push the feelings aside, trying to not let them deter her mood. Â
âMay I ask you something?â Nanami can sense the hesitancy in the question, almost as if she were afraid to ask it.Â
âSure.âÂ
âForgive me if this is too forward, but why is it that you never care to partake in festivities outside of the professional setting? I mean, Iâve seen you reject offers from other colleagues around the office, higher-ups like Akiyama-buchou, and even offers from Fumiko-senpai! And sheâs one of the prettiest women in the office!â
Nanami squints his eyes in confusion. âWait, how did you hear about that?â
âShe talked about it one morning while she was at the copier with Aiko-senpai. I was within earshot of their conversation. She seemed pretty upset by it.âÂ
I would have thought that she would have taken the hint by now, given the fact that this is the fourth time that sheâs asked me out, and itâs my fourth time rejecting her, Nanami thought sullenly to himself. Nonetheless, he answers her question. âListen to me, Y/N-chan, Iâm not here to mix my personal life with my professional life. Iâm simply here to clock in, do whatâs expected of me for my role in this company, and clock out so I can earn enough money to make at least a decent living in this hellscape of a society. Nothing more, nothing less.â
She shrinks back just a tiny bit as he speaks, fearing that she may have crossed an unspoken boundary that he had set for himself. She continues with her questioning. âAnd⌠What about what the superiors think? Doesnât their opinion of you matter in the long run of your employment here? I mean⌠donât you want to move up in the ranks?âÂ
âTo be frank, I could care less about what they think. They already take up enough of my time here, they donât need to take up anymore outside of my working hours. I hate overtime.â He turns to leave the break room, realizing how much time heâs wasted there in the breakroom, talking to her. He needs to get back to his desk.
âNanami-senpai,â she says, almost bewildered. There was a hint of admiration behind it though. To her, he had a backbone that she could only dream of.Â
He pauses at the door, his hand on the knob. He glances up at her over his shoulder, a somewhat cynical glint to his eyes. âTo put it lightly, Y/N-chan, there are worse things out there than upset higher-ups simply because you told them ânoâ.â His mind flashes back to seeing the bodies of his dead friends on cold metal examination tables in the morgue room of Jujutsu Tech. The wails of curses and dying humans echo in his ears as he reminisces on his times as an up and coming Jujutsu sorcerer, but he doesnât dare falter.Â
She nods, her gaze landing on her hands that were intertwined together, digesting what he had to say. âI understand, senpai.â
Thereâs a pregnant pause before he faces the door again, his hand turning the knob on the door.Â
âNo⌠no, I donât think you do, Y/N-chan.â
He opens the door to see Fumiko outside. He gives her a small polite smile and a nod before making his way around her to get back to his desk. Â
Fumiko watches as he leaves, a look of longing on her face. She turns to look at Y/N and a surly look crosses her face. She enters the breakroom, heading to the coffee machine with an empty mug in her hands.Â
The tension in the air was thick enough that either one of them could cut it with a knife.Â
Fumiko didnât say a word to her, but Y/N knew that in her heart of hearts that sheâs done something terribly wrong to grossly piss one of her seniors off.Â
~
At first, it started off small.Â
Her orders were conveniently forgotten when the coffee runs or lunch runs were being made. Other office workers started to hand off their assignments to her, making her workload three times what it originally was supposed to be, making late nights a near constant for her. Anytime something went wrong in the office, to miniscule things like if if the copier ran out of ink and it wasnât replaced as quickly as possible, to major things like if certain papers or documents werenât delivered to another department in a timely manner, then she would be a scapegoat for the blame.Â
She didnât say a word about it to anyone, however. Itâs not like she was in a position to be complaining about it. She knew that if she were to say anything, then she would be called âungratefulâ, âlazyâ, and that âshe should be lucky that any job decided to hire her onâ.
Nanami noticed fairly quickly what was going on and found himself to be disgusted by the behavior of his co-workers. This wasnât the first time that a stunt like this was pulled on the new hires. There was an old mentality that still existed of newcomers needing to âprove themselvesâ or âearn their place amongst their peersâ. He honestly thought that this kind of stuff would have ended the moment that he graduated from secondary school and entered into the workforce, thinking that full fledged adults would learn how to properly behave and conduct themselves in a mature manner.
Needless to say, he was dead wrong about that. Some of them get even worse with old age.Â
Though he's learned to separate his professional feelings from his personal feelings, it would be untruthful to say that the current behavior towards Y/N-chan didnât bother him in the slightest.Â
He minded. He minded a great deal, actually.
She was good. She was kind to others. She certainly didnât deserve this kind of treatment. Frankly, no one ever deserved that kind of treatment no matter who they were.Â
Nanami strolled into work bright and early one morning to find her hunched forward on her desk, completely passed out. He noted that there were papers that were scattered across the surface and that there was a pen still lodged in her hand. She must have spent the night here.Â
He set his stuff down on his desk before turning to her and placing a hand on her shoulder to gently rock her awake.Â
âY/N-chan, you need to wake up,â he says softly.Â
He goes to stand behind her chair and places his other hand on her forehead to help sit her up, hoping that the motion and change in position will help stir her awake.Â
âY/N-chan, Akiyama-buchou will be in shortly, you need to wake up so you donât end up in trouble.â
Thereâs a solid minute that passes before Nanami hears a groggy: âMmm⌠senpai?âÂ
He let out a chuckle before stepping back to sit at his desk. âDid you spend the night here last night?â Â
âMmhmm,â she yawned as she stretched out her arms well above her head and leaned up against her chair. âI had to finish up the final reports for the department quarterly review. Theyâre due at the end of this week.â
Nanami paused, then his eyes narrowed. âI thought that was Kakuta-sanâs responsibility to take care of that,â he said, his voice a tad stern.
âYeah, well⌠he asked me to do it.â
âHe shouldnât have.â
Y/N was silent for a moment before she started to organize the papers on her desk into a more orderly fashion. The next words come out small and downtrodden. âItâs not like I can say no to my superiors, Nanami-senpai.â
âKakuta-san is not your superior, heâs your co-worker. He shouldnât be passing off his assigned work tasks onto you. Matter of fact, none of these people in this office should be passing off their assigned tasks onto you.â He had a much more choice word to use for his colleagues but he bit his tongue.Â
At this point, Nanami felt like he was scolding his own child rather than his junior.
You try telling them that, Y/N thought snidely to herself. She let his comments roll off her back. âLook, Iâm almost finished with the report, senpai. Itâs really not that big of a deal.âÂ
His gaze is hard. âYouâre sure?âÂ
Y/N matches his demeanor, getting a little annoyed with his constant chastising. Her eyebrows slightly furrow as she sits up a tad taller, looking Nanami square in the eye. âIâm fine. You donât need to worry about me. I can handle it,â Y/N snaps. âNow, if youâll excuse me, I need to get back to work. Iâve already wasted enough time here.â
He watches as she busies herself with the paperwork on her desk, a sour taste remaining in his mouth, making him purse his lips together into a tight line. Nanami briskly turns away, not wanting to add further dissension to their discourse.Â
~
Things went from bad to worse.
On the days that she was supposed to have off, she would be called into the office to work grueling hours, usually from seven in the morning until midnight, leaving her with little to no free time. Interactions with her co-workers and her superiors become more and more hostile. The shift of blame became a near constant everytime that she was in office, the accusations becoming increased in severity, some of which would have Akiyama-buchou scream at her in front of the entire office staff which, at times, would reduce her to tears.Â
The mental and emotional stress was starting to take a physical toll on Y/N. The bags underneath her eyes were becoming darker, she had no appetite to eat anything, thus making some of her clothes start to fit a little looser. Her hair was starting to slowly come out in clumps and sleepless nights were starting to become the norm.
The anxiety and fear was starting to eat her alive, and Y/N was exhausted.
Nanami was silently noticing the events unfolding before him, and found the actions of his colleagues to be reprehensible. Heâs grown to care for Y/N-chan. More than he would like to admit, but somehow sheâs managed to worm her way into his heart.Â
He tried finding little ways to combat the workplace harassment that Y/N-chan was facing. Tiny things, nothing too grand or extravagant that would draw attention.Â
When Y/N-chan found herself swamped with work (realistically speaking, the work of others that they, continuously, passed onto her) and unable to leave her desk, not even to take a lunch break, Nanami would stop by the vending machines, leaving extra snacks on her desk when she wasnât paying attention to the world around her. The mornings that he would find her passed out cold on her desk from pulling an all-nighter at the office, he would visit the little coffee shop across the street and âaccidentallyâ order two cups of coffee instead of one. Just like the vending machine snacks, he would leave the cup at the corner of Y/N-chanâs desk for her to wake up to. When she would ask him about it, noticing that they were both from the same place, he would always say the same thing to her: âThey accidentally gave me two. Rather than waste the extra on me, I figured that you would need it a bit more than I do.â which was then quickly followed by a âno, you donât need to pay me backâ. The times that Y/N would find herself alone in the office during the lunch breaks that the staff would take, Nanami would stay behind at his desk beside hers and silently eat his lunch. The days that he noticed she hadnât brought any food with her, he would offer part of his lunch. It was second nature at this point, but she would always refuse, saying that she wasnât hungry.
Whenever Y/N felt her emotions get the better of her, she would hide in the supply closet and take a moment to try and recollect herself. As a grounding point, she would try to think that her family and friends (what little she had of them) love and care about her, and other times, she would think of the small acts of kindness that Nanami would show towards her.Â
She would be forever grateful for him. Even if she wouldnât verbally say it out loud to him.Â
At some point, though, the tension reached a head, and Nanami couldnât idly stand by anymore.Â
 One afternoon, Nanami was leaving a meeting room with the other department leaders when he heard a loud cry ring out in the office, ripping him out of his reverie. He whips his head up to see Y/N barge out of the staff break room and rush past him, tears welling up in her eyes, and a large brown stain covered the front of her white blouse that she was wearing. Alarmed, he watches as she runs to the women's restroom, the door slamming behind her.Â
What caught his attention next was the sound of laughter that came from the break room. A sinking feeling of dread sat in his chest, before the subtle burn of anger began to ignite in his heart.Â
His eyes narrow as he saunters towards the breakroom, finding both Fumiko and Aiko standing there, giddy as school girls. They became deers in the headlights as soon as they saw Nanami.Â
He noticed that Fumiko was holding an empty mug with coffee dribbling down the side of it.
âI saw Y/N-chan run out of here. She seemed upset,â he muses. âWhat happened?âÂ
The two women stare at him like gaping fish, neither one of them saying a word.Â
A beat of silence passes before he speaks again, his eyes locked onto them. âSomething clearly happened.âÂ
The sound of the coffee machine brewing in the corner of the room catches his attention. Nanami glances at Fumiko and Aiko from the corner of his eyes, his gaze disapproving, before walking over to the coffee machine. The smell of a freshly brewed pot assaults his senses as he approaches. He raises a hand and gently presses two fingers to the side of the pot.Â
Itâs hot. Scalding hot, actually.Â
âJudging by the behavior of you two, Iâm going to assume that you intentionally spilled hot coffee on Y/N-chanâs front,â Nanami muses, as if he were speaking to himself. He turns to face them, leaning up against the counter. âAm I wrong?â
Silence.Â
Nanami knows that neither Aiko or Fumiko donât have to say anything to explain themselves.Â
He lets out a loud sigh and raises a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose. âThatâs what I thought.âÂ
After finally getting the answers that he needed, Nanami pushes off the counter, wasting no time to grab the first-aid kit as he exits the breakroom, heading towards the women's restroom.
Y/N is sitting on the toilet, her blouse pulled open as she applies wet tissues of toilet paper to the large burn on her chest in order to find some relief from the pain.Â
Sheâs stopped crying, but now the feelings of embarrassment and shame are starting to set in. Â
Leaning forward to hold her head in her hands with her elbows resting on her knees, all of the emotions that Y/N has been holding in for the past several months begins to boil over and comes to the forefront of her mind. The mistreatment from her colleagues and her superiors, the sleepless nights, the constant overtime (overtime that she was not adequately paid for, by the way), the endless workloads, etc. was laid out in front of her.Â
Y/N never considered herself to be a downtrodden person, but having since been in this job, it was as if every single day she woke up with dread filling her chest. She tried to be a good sport about it, by trying to give herself some grace and the people that she worked with the benefit of doubt, and tried to rationalize their behaviors towards her. However, it was difficult to ignore the persistent hostility and how quick she was to be sold down the river whenever things went horribly wrong.
A lump rose in the back of her throat and tears began to well up in her eyes again. Her mind was beginning to create a snowball effect of everything that has happened ever since she started at this job. Her face crumbled, and the tears spilled over.Â
A knock at the door brings her out of her mental turmoil. âY/N-chan?âÂ
Nanami.Â
âI have some burn ointment for you. I know itâs not much⌠but I hope that it will help with the pain.âÂ
Y/N grabs some extra toilet paper to wipe away at her face, and throws away the wet toilet paper that was stuck to her chest, before buttoning her blouse back up. She stands up and looks into the mirror, making sure that she was⌠somewhat presentable to her senpai.Â
She cracks open the door and pokes her head out to see Nanami standing there with several packets of burn ointment presented in an open palm.Â
âThank you,â Y/N murmurs, reaching out to take the packets from him.Â
âIâll talk to Akiyama-buchou to see if you can get the rest of the day off,â Nanami says, letting his hand fall back to his side. âYou clearly need it.âÂ
She looks up at him in worry. âN-no! Thatâs not-!âÂ
âY/N-chan. Youâre injured. Youâre overworked. You need rest. I assure you that the office will not burn to the ground because youâre not in. I promise.â There was a tone of finality to his words. It was clear that there was no room for argument with him as Nanami had clearly made up his mind.Â
A passive look forms on Y/Nâs features before she nods once and disappears back into the restroom.Â
What follows next are tense interactions and conversations had with others around the office as Nanami forcibly returned work assignments to those that had pawned off their work to Y/N. Those that protested were quickly met with an icy glare that shut them up immediately.Â
The conversation with Akiyama left Nanami in a rather foul mood than he already was.
He straight up laughed in Nanamiâs face when he said that Y/N would be taking the rest of the day off.Â
âYou canât be serious! Since when do you actually give a shit about that little brat?â he guffaws. He looks like heâs about to start crying from laughing as if heâs been told the funniest joke in his life.Â
Nanami doesnât falter. His gaze is as hard as stone as he stoically answers, âThe same way in which you fail to do your due diligence as a member of upper level management to ensure that the work environment that you create isnât a hostile one. Youâve got the vindictiveness of a fourteen year old child. Youâre pathetic, really.âÂ
Akiyamaâs smug look quickly fades as Nanami speaks his piece, his face turning into a shade of dark red from being flustered and embarassed.Â
Nanami has held in his emotions for the entirety of his professional career, but now he could give a damn. The floodgates have opened and now heâs speaking his mind.Â
âNow, listen here-â
âFrankly, I donât care what you have to say. Youâre the most incompetent man that Iâve ever encountered and Iâve seen a fair amount of them. The immaturity, the lack of consideration on both a professional and personal level, the harassment that you feed your employees if they donât meet your standards by even the most minute level. Itâs despicable.â
âNanami Kento-!â
âYouâve lost my respect⌠though, I never really had that much respect to give you in the first place.âÂ
The weight lifts off of his shoulders as he finishes speaking, though, the responsibility of getting you home safe and sound is still on his mind.Â
âIâll be escorting her home. Donât expect to see me the rest of the day.â
âNanami-!â
He briskly turns away before Akiyama can say anything to him, leaving the office and letting the door slam behind him. He stops by Y/Nâs desk, gathering all of her belongings and putting them in her bag that hung on the back of her chair.Â
âY/N-chan? Are you ready?â Nanami asks, standing outside of the women's restroom.
âUm⌠I donât think Iâm reallyâŚpresentable to leave the restroomâŚâ
She poked her head out again, Nanami catching some glimpses of her white blouse with the large coffee stain on it. She looks a bit more put together, the puffiness in her face has somewhat dwindled.
Nanami pauses, before setting down both his and her items and shrugging out of his suit jacket. He gently nudges the door open a bit wider with his foot so theyâre both face to face with each other as he tenderly places his suit jacket over Y/Nâs shoulders, giving her a bit more coverage and allowing her to pull the sides of the jacket over the gigantic brown stain.Â
A blush began to creep over her cheeks as she dropped her gaze from his, suddenly feeling bashful.Â
âThank you.âÂ
The two of them left, feeling all the eyes of the office workers on them as they departed. Akiyama came barging out of his office, screaming at the top of his lungs at their backsides.
Y/N startles, going to look over her shoulder at him, but Nanami stops her by putting an arm around her shoulders, forcing her to look forward.Â
For the remainder of their trip back to Y/Nâs apartment, he doesnât remove his arm from around her shoulders. Nanami doesnât know why he didnât want to remove it from around her. Not a word is spoken between them⌠but for the both of them, it wasnât uncomfortable.Â
They were given strange looks by onlookers on the streets of Tokyo, but the pair were somewhat comfortable in their own little world.Â
âYou didnât⌠have to do this, you know?â Y/N shyly says, risking a glance at him from the corner of her eyes. Theyâre now on the train, moving from the district of Shinjuku to Koto, where Y/Nâs apartment was located.Â
âI know I didnât,â Nanami responds, looking down to meet her gaze. âI wanted to.âÂ
After some time, they eventually reach their desired train station in Koto. From there on, itâs a twenty minute walk to the apartment.Â
âWill you come inside? I feel like I should make you a cup of tea or somethingâŚâ Y/N says, shrugging off Nanamiâs suit jacket to give back to him as they stand in front of the entrance to Y/Nâs apartment. Â
âThatâs not necessary, Y/N-chan-â
âPlease? Itâs the least I can do. Especially after everything that youâve done for me.âÂ
He ponders on it, before giving her a single nod with a small smile starting to grace his features. âIf you insist, I suppose it wouldnât do any harm. A cup of tea made by you sounds lovely.âÂ
She gives him a wide smile as she fishes into her purse to find her keys to let them into the apartment.
It was tiny, but that was to be expected. Slightly messy with various items strewn around the den and the kitchen areas, but nothing too egregious that Nanami couldnât overlook.Â
âIâll put the kettle on if youâd like to have a seat. Iâll just be a moment,â Y/N says as she shuffles out of her high heels in the entryway. Trying to be sly, she immediately picks up the discarded clothes so that Nanami wouldnât notice as she retreats into her bedroom so she can change out of the stained blouse and into a clean shirt. In a quick glance in a mirror that she has in her bedroom, she sees a rather large, angry red patch mark her chest where the coffee branded her.Â
A flash of humiliation strikes through her core, but Y/N does her best to not dwell on it. Even if her chest is still throbbing from her injury, regardless of the ointment that Nanami was so kind to give to her.Â
Nanami silently makes his way to the den and sits at the kotatsu table in the center of the room, letting the futon cover his lap, waiting patiently for Y/N to exit her room.Â
She comes out of the bedroom, changed into a fresh set of casual clothes, and wastes no time getting started on the tea that she promised Nanami.
âI hope you donât mind my appearance,â Y/N calls out, glancing over her shoulder to look at him. âI donât think I could stand to be in that stained blouse another minute.âÂ
âPlease donât think Iâm offended, Y/N-chan, Iâm a guest in your home. Iâd rather you be comfortable.â
Y/N gives him a toothy smile as she fills up the electric kettle with water.Â
âI have sencha tea. Is that okay with you?âÂ
A singular nod. âYes, that sounds lovely.â
To Y/N, it felt strange to have her senpai in her home, sitting at her little kotatsu table that he seemed rather too large for. She stole a look at him while he wasnât paying attention and fought back a giggle, thinking of him as a bull in a china shop in her microscopic apartment.Â
From the corner of his eye, Nanami noticed a pile of vinyl records leaned up against a record player.Â
âDo you listen to vinyl, Y/N-chan?â
âI do, actually. I enjoy collecting records whenever I can.â
âAny particular genre?âÂ
âHmmâŚmy father was always big on music from the 50âs and the 60âs. I remember listening to a lot of cassette tapes and vinyls from those eras. He said that there was a certain romantic aspect that just couldnât be replicated in todayâs music.â Y/N comes into the den with two steaming mugs of tea, setting them both down onto the kotatsu. âHowever, he could be just a bit biased because thatâs the music that he grew up on.âÂ
Nanami chuckles. âJust a bit. Thank you for the tea and hospitality, by the way, Y/N-chan. You didnât have to do this.â He gently grips the handle of the mug and brings it to his lips, taking in a small sip.Â
Y/N softly sighs, letting her shoulders slump the tiniest degree. âI felt like I needed to.âÂ
âY/N-chan-â
âSenpai, I justâŚâ She starts to wring her hands in front of her, suddenly nervous. âI just wanted to show my appreciation for all that you did for me when I was struggling. The snacks and coffees that you would leave at my desk, offering to share part of your lunch with me⌠All sorts of things that you went out of your way to do for me, when you really had nothing to gain from it. I donât know why you did it to begin with, but⌠Iâll be forever thankful to you that you did.âÂ
Seeing her be so open and candid with everything that had happened within the past several months, made Nanami reminisce on his old secondary school classmate, Yu Haibara. Perhaps thatâs why he had such a fondness for Y/N. She shared a lot of characteristics that Haibara had.
Happiness. Genuine kindness. A fondness for life and living.Â
Maybe thatâs why Nanami was doing his damndest to try and help her.
Protect her.Â
In a way that he wasnât able to do for Haibara.Â
Y/N notices Nanamiâs silent reverie. âWhat are you thinking about?âÂ
âHm? Oh⌠nothing in particular.â
Unconvinced, she prods a tiny bit more. âAre you sure? You look like youâre deep in thought about something.â
Nanami quickly changes the subject. âHowâs your burn doing? Itâs not hurting you too much, is it?â
At the mention of her injury, a flare of a dull ache makes its way to the front of her mind. She brings a hand up to her chest to rub at it.Â
âItâs manageable.âÂ
He gives her a knowing look before getting up from the kotatsu and goes into the kitchen, grabbing a handful of paper towels and running them under cold water.
âHere, this should help.â He offers her the wet paper towels, but she simply stares at his hand.Â
Y/N glances at his hand and back up to his face, before she reaches out to grip his wrist and uses his arm as leverage to pull herself up into a standing position. She doesnât let go of his wrist.
âI hope⌠that youâll allow me to thank you. Properly,â Y/N says, peering up at Nanami, a certain⌠emotion displayed that he wasnât able to place his finger on. She takes a step closer to him, decreasing the distance between them.Â
All Nanami could focus on in that moment was the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears and the sudden warmth that flushed into his cheeks, all of which led to one question in his mind: Where was she going with this?
âSeeing as how weâre being personal and open with one another, would it be silly of me to admit I sort of⌠developed a little bit of a crush on you?â Her eyes drift down from his for a moment, maybe due to embarrassment, before raising her eyes to meet his, a slight blush starting to color her cheeks. âI didnât want to say anything at first, especially considering how you always preached about how you always separated your personal life with your professional life⌠but now feels like a good time to come clean.â She reaches up and gently places a hand on his cheek, feeling the warmth that his skin offered as her thumb tenderly stroked his cheekbone.Â
Nanamiâs heart feels like it's in his throat, unintentionally tensing up at the feeling of her hand on the side of his face. âY/N-chan.âÂ
Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? This wasnât the first time that a woman tried to be physically close to him, and all those other times he was able to gently reject their advances with ease.Â
Why was Y/N suddenly the exception to this rule?Â
âAre you⌠uncomfortable with this?â she asks, unable to gauge his current state of mind due to his stunned silence. The last thing that Y/N wanted to do was encroach on his boundaries.Â
Nanami remains silent, his eyes still locked onto her face.Â
Y/N takes that as a sign to halt her advances. She begins to pull away.
âIâm sorry. I didnât mean to make things awkward-â she begins to apologize, but finds herself cut short by the feeling of another mouth covering hers.Â
Nanami, finally snapping out of his trance, allows himself to feel something for the first time in a long time. Gripping both sides of her face, he bends down and pulls her into a rather heated kiss, their teeth accidentally clacking against each other from the force of impact.Â
Y/N, startled at first, melts into the kiss, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck to try and pull him closer to her, his hands sliding from her cheeks to thread his fingers through her hair, allowing him just a bit more grip on her. Y/Nâs chest aches at her burn site at the friction of Nanamiâs body against hers, but she could care less about it in the current moment.Â
With her lungs screaming for oxygen, she pulls away, gasping. âNanami-senpai!â
âIâm sorry. I donât know what came over me,â he gasps out, trying to catch his breath.Â
âDonât be.â
They remain still for a moment, just taking in their presence.Â
Nanami leans down to press his forehead against Y/Nâs, closing his eyes. âItâs no secret that Iâve come to care for you, Y/N-chan. Perhaps, a bit more than I initially let on.âÂ
A breathy chuckle escapes from her. âIs that so?âÂ
He gives a small nod, a gentle smile forming on his face. âYes.â
One of his hands, still entangled in her hair, falls from her head to softly grip the side of her neck, his thumb gently rubbing alongside her jawline.Â
âI should have asked you this properly, before I got physical with you,â Nanami whispers. âIs this something that you would want to pursue, Y/N-chan? A relationship⌠with me?âÂ
A slight pause as Y/N digests his proposal, before she smiles and nods. âIf youâll have me.â
âIâll always have you, so long as you put up with me and my broody behavior.âÂ
âYouâre not broody.â She reaches up to softly push back several strands of hair that had fallen in his eyes. âMatter of fact, I find you to be very kind and considerate. I have all of the âextra coffeesâ and vending machine snacks to thank you for.â
Y/N grabs at the hand thatâs on the side of her neck and guides it down so that Nanami is now cupping one of her breasts through her shirt. She glances up at him, sucking in her bottom lip between her teeth, waiting to see what his next move will be.Â
Filled with new found lust, and a rush of heat down to his groin, Nanami closes the gap between the two of them, pressing his lips to hers once more, allowing his tongue to slip past his lips and into her mouth, massaging hers with his own. Thereâs urgency to their motions now, their exhaled breaths coming out much harsher and heavier than before.Â
Nanamiâs hands slip underneath her shirt to fully cup her breasts, allowing him to roll her nipples between his fingers and thumbs.Â
Y/N lets out a little squeak at the sensation, but takes it all in stride. She grabs at his clothes, attempting to undo his tie and the buttons to his shirt, but struggles at the Windsor knot on his tie, unsure how to loosen it. Nanami, lost in the moment, comes to at the sensation of her prying hands and quickly undoes his two piece suit at a much faster rate than Y/N ever could, stripping down to be completely bare and vulnerable in front of her.Â
Y/N truly began to appreciate what a fine specimen Nanami was. Heâs toned. Heâs muscular. Heâs built like a Greek god, if she was being totally honest with herself.Â
She looks down at Nanamiâs cock, sucking in a sharp breath when she notices how girthy it was. It wasnât fully erect, but Y/N remembers some of her old friends from university going on about how some men are âgrowersâ. Their words, not hers.Â
âCanâŚcan I?â she stutters out, her eyes locked onto his growing erection.Â
âGod, yes, please.â
She sinks to her knees in front of him, coming face to face with his cock. The sight alone makes Nanamiâs respiration become labored.Â
With gentle hands, she reaches out and grasps him at the base and points him upright. Her eyes glance up at him, trying to gauge his reaction, before pressing a kiss to the head. One hand goes to stroke the length as the other falls to massage his testicles. With a deep breath, and a whole lot of fraudulent courage, she sinks her head onto him, trying to take him in as much as she could without activating her gag reflex.Â
âY/N-chanâŚâ Nanami gasps out, the warm, wet sensation of her mouth sending shockwaves through his core. His hands twitch by his sides, wanting to bury his fingers into the crown of her head, but he restrains himself, not wanting to rush her into things.Â
Slowly, Y/N finds her rhythm. She begins to bob her head up and down his length with added vigor, her hand stroking the parts that her mouth cannot reach. Saliva begins to dribble from her mouth and down her chin, the more that she bobs her head. The sound of squelching fills the room as Y/N continues her assault on Nanami.Â
Nanamiâs head had fallen back and his eyes were closed in ecstasy. âFuck, Y/N-chan,â he gasps out, foregoing his original plan of self control and reaching one of his hands to grasp at the back of Y/Nâs head, desperate to try and hold onto something. He begins to move his hips, just enough to thrust forward to meet her mouth. Through heavy-lidded eyes, he tilts head forward to look down at Y/N to see her eyes locked onto his face as she persisted with her movements. She pulls off his length, but with the tip still in her mouth, she wraps her tongue around the tip and simply sucks.Â
Nanamiâs vision goes white for just a moment, and he swears that he had died and gone to heaven in that second.Â
Y/N pops off his member, strings of saliva attaching from her mouth to Nanami, gasping for breath. He stands fully erect now, his cock now slapping against his abdomen the moment that Y/N lets go of him, and the tip begins to ooze with pre-ejaculate. She offers him a cheeky smile, meeting his wanton gaze with playfulness. âIs this to your liking, Nanami Kento?â
She leans forward and suckles one of his testicles into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his face. Something inside Nanami snaps, and he can no longer hold himself back anymore.Â
âYou little minx,â he rasps out, reaching down to push her shoulders back, putting some distance between the two of them. He pulls her up into a standing position, before reaching down to grasp at her hips. He pulls her into a feverish kiss, his lips entangling with hers. He lifts her up into the air, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist, giving him the freedom to blindly make his way from her living room to her bedroom. He gently sets her down on the edge of the bed, pulling away from the kiss.Â
âCan I take your clothes off, Y/N-chan?â His hands grab at the hem of her shirt, waiting for her approval to do so.Â
She nods, lifting her arms up over her head, making it easier for Nanami to pull her shirt off, leaving her bare-chested in front of him. The cool air hits her skin, making goosebumps start to rise throughout her trunk.Â
Nanami takes in everything that she has to offer. Every curve, contour, stretch mark, including the large burn on her chest. A flash of anger flares up in his chest at the sight of it, but he does his best to extinguish it. He doesnât want to sour the mood with a foul mood.Â
Feeling his eyes on her, Y/N canât help but become self conscious in his observant gaze as she instinctively raises her arms to cover her chest to make herself as small as possible. Nanami, however, notices her attempts to cover herself up and catches both of her wrists in his large hands, stopping her from doing so.
âStop. You donât need to hide yourself in front of me,â he says, nearly chastising her as he forces her arms back down to their sides. âI want to see all of you, as you have seen all of me.â He sinks to his knees in front of her and leans forward to press gentle kisses to her chest, making sure to linger his lips on her injury. âWill you allow me to make you feel good, Y/N-chan?â he asks, peering up at her with tender eyes.Â
Y/N gives him a soft smile, threading her fingers through his hair. âIâd like that.âÂ
He returns the smile, before he presses his lips to hers once again, only this time itâs not as rushed and frenzied as before. Itâs slow and reposeful, as if they donât want to rush the moment to its end.Â
Nanami, still on his knees, reaches up with both hands to cup her jaw, his thumbs smoothing at her cheek bones as he continues to kiss her. He begins to gently guide her back further onto the mattress, allowing her to lay down and for him more room to explore her body. He lets his hands trail from the sides of her face down to the hems of both the bottoms that she was wearing and her underwear. He pulls away just a fraction of an inch from her lips, looking into her eyes as he gets more of a hold on the clothing, silently asking her permission to remove the rest of her clothes.
Y/N instinctually lifts her hips up, giving Nanami the freedom to remove the rest of the barriers, leaving her totally bare in front of him.Â
He sits between her legs, his eyes narrowing down on her center, before glancing back up to meet her gaze. âMay I taste you?â
She nods, watching with heavy anticipation as he changes position so that heâs now flat on his stomach, now faced with the most intimate part of Y/N. It wasnât an understatement to say that she was incredibly nervous. It had been some time since she last had sex with another man.Â
Noting her silence and her tense position, Nanami asks her, âAre you alright?âÂ
His question pulls her out of her silent dilemma, realizing that he was locked in on her face.
She nods, not trusting her voice right now.
His eyes are quizzical, but he doesnât push it any further. âYouâll tell me if youâre uncomfortable, yeah?âÂ
She nods again.
âI think Iâm gonna need a little more confirmation than that, Y/N-chan. I need you to actually say something.âÂ
A flush of heat makes its way towards her core at his command, arousing her a bit more than she would like to admit. âI⌠yes. I promise Iâll say something,â she says, her voice barely above a whisper.Â
He gives her a smirk. âGood girl.â
He hooks his arms around her thighs, pulling her closer to him, his face now just mere nanometers away from her center. Maintaining eye contact with her, he flattens his tongue on her clit, massaging it with smooth, languid strokes.Â
Y/N lets out a gasp at the sensation of his tongue on her, her head falling backwards on the pillow, letting the pleasure build from her core and flow throughout her body.Â
Nanami starts out slow, letting her adjust to the stimulation before he begins to flick her clit at a rapid pace, trying to build on her satisfaction. His eyes never leave her face as he continues with his movements. Reaching further around, he uses his hands to spread her lips wide open and sucks her clit between his lips.
âMy god, Nana-mi-senpai,â she moans, her toes curling at the feeling of him sucking her in. Unable to make sense of what to do with herself, her hands fly to her chest grabbing at her breasts. She begins to pant now, the pleasure beginning to build upon itself as Nanamiâs tongue continues to ravish her. The waves are crashing over each other now, and the familiar coil within Y/Nâs abdomen starts to tighten, alerting her of her impending orgasm.Â
Switching tactics, Nanami diverts his attention to her opening. Replacing his tongue with this thumb on her clit, he gently prods his tongue through, thrusting it in and out.
âNanami!â Y/N cries out, jerking at the sensation. She squirms and twists at his ministrations, unable to maintain her composure anymore, before he uses his other hand to flatten it on her abdomen, in an effort to hold her still. She glances down at him to see his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his fingers splayed out on her abdomen, a warning look in his eyes, as if to say donât move. He brings his mouth back up to her clit and presses a single kiss to the sensitive nub before, for lack of a better word, devouring her. He engulfs her entire clit into his mouth before suckling on it and his tongue furiously stroking her, trying to fully push her over the edge and bring her to orgasm.Â
The coil within Y/N tightens further and further the more Nanamiâs mouth works her, the pressure within herself mounting to an almost uncomfortable point. Her hands fly down to grab at Nanamiâs hair, desperately trying to anchor herself to something, but sheâs quickly getting swept up into shockwaves of ecstasy.Â
With one final suck, the coil snaps and Y/N is rendered completely helpless as her orgasm comes crashing over her in waves. She lets out a loud cry as her abdomen clamps down on itself, her body shaking with each pulse of her core, her hands becoming a vice grip in his hair.Â
Nanamiâs moans at the feeling of her hands in his hair, releasing her core free from the confines of his lips, panting out several breaths before going in with his tongue again to lap at her release. Y/N jerks at the sensation, slowly becoming overwhelmed with the constant stimulation.
As Y/N comes down from her high, she looks down to Nanami giving him a weak, breathy chuckle, gently untangling her fingers from his hair. âI didnât hurt you, did I?âÂ
He leans away from her, flashing her a relaxed grin. He kisses his way up her abdomen, gently pressing his lips to her skin as he makes his way to her face. Once he reaches his intended destination, he captures her lips into an all-consuming kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist in an effort to pull her as close to him as humanly possible. In response, her legs go to encircle his hips, pressing her lubricated center to his leaking cock.Â
Nanami lets out a hiss at the contact, a flash of pleasure striking through him, making him almost recoil from Y/Nâs body.Â
She looks at him, concerned. âAre you alright?âÂ
âYes, I just⌠Iâm a little more sensitive than I initially thought,â he reassures, leaning up to press a kiss to her forehead.Â
âWell⌠Iâm yours for the taking.â She spreads her legs open, sending the message to him wide and clear.Â
A sinking realization dawns on Nanami as he looks down at his bare self, now just coming to terms that heâs missing a very key component to this whole encounter. âY/N-chan, I⌠Iâm sorry, but I donât have any protection on me,â he whispers. âI donât want to end this moment with you⌠but I donât want to risk you getting pregnant for my own selfish desires, either.âÂ
Y/N props herself up on her elbows, leaning over to the nightstand beside the bed and opens the drawer, pulling out several packages of condoms, making Nanami do a double-take. âAn old friend of mine from university gave them to me as a gag gift for my birthday before I started to work at the office. I really havenât had the opportunity to use them⌠well, up until now at least,â she explains, a bit of a sheepish grin gracing her face as she hands them to Nanami.
âSome friends you have,â he says, ripping a package open, grabbing the plastic wrapping before placing it on his tip and rolling it down his length. He doesnât question it, heâs just thankful that he doesnât have to stop. He positions himself between Y/Nâs legs, sitting back on his haunches, as he grabs hold of his length and guides his tip to her slit. âAre you ready for me, Y/N-chan?âÂ
She inhales a deep breath. âYes. Iâm ready, Nanami-senpai.â
He lets out a chuckle. âKento.âÂ
âHmm?â She looks at him, confused.
âI think weâre way beyond the point of just acknowledging each other by our surnames, Y/N-chan. All things considered.âÂ
âI suppose youâre right⌠Kento.âÂ
With one hand, grabs hold of her hip, while with the other, he slowly guides his tip into her entrance. When he has the assurance that it wonât slip out, he pauses his motions. âYouâll tell me if it gets to be too much, yeah?âÂ
She nods. âYes.âÂ
âGood.âÂ
He softly guides his hips forward, pushing his cock past her opening and letting him be enveloped by her warm, wet walls. He almost has to stop himself from getting ahead of himself and snapping his hips in. A thin layer of perspiration begins to form on his forehead as he concentrates all of his will power into not burying her into the mattress and pounding into her in that moment. Nanami looks to her, trying to gauge where she was at in terms of comfort after fully sheathing himself in her.Â
Y/N was in a bit of pain, to say the least. With the stretch of Nanami as he penetrated into her, came the uncomfortable burning sensation of almost being split open. She lets out a hiss and closes her eyes, immediately tensing herself up. Nanami was not small, by any means necessary. Matter of fact, he was much more well endowed than any of Y/Nâs previous partners or one night stands, leaving her uncomfortably full with areas that Nanami was touching that had initially been left undisturbed. She could feel the tip of his member twitch inside of her, causing her to unintentionally clamp down on him.Â
Nanami stutters out a groan, nearly throwing his head back in pure, unadulterated pleasure, but he forces himself to hold steadfast. He knows that she needs to adjust to him, and he would not move until she gave him the say so.Â
The seconds that pass feel like years to Nanami as he remains stagnant. His selfish desire is eating away at his restraint, but he deliberately ignores it, instead focusing all of his attention on her. Gritting his teeth, he gently squeezes her hips, trying to draw her back into the current moment. âAre you alright, Y/N-chan?âÂ
With her eyes still closed, she nods her head. She reaches down and grabs at one of his hands on her hips, relocating it to her center, with his thumb just barely brushing up against her clit. He slowly begins to swipe at it, hopeful that the stimulation of it would overcome the pain. She repositions herself now, letting her legs interlock around his hips with her ankles linking together, giving him the nonverbal permission that he so desperately required.
Slowly, with careful precision, he begins to roll his hips forward, each time burying himself to the hilt of her. Her warm, velvet walls encasing his cock made his vision nearly go white every time that she clamped around him, whether if it was intentional or not.
Y/N goes slack jawed, the motions painful at first, but the more he pistoned his hips against her, the constant pulsing of his cock within her, the warmth that he offered her, and the haphazard stroking of her clit with his fingers, the more she began to enjoy herself. Her arousal slicked her walls, further lubricating her, loosening her up as Nanami continued with his assault on her. Some of it began to seep out and dampen his pelvis where it met hers, with strings of her connecting them to each other in more ways than one.Â
He could have cried right there, if he wanted to.
Nanamiâs hips pick up the pace, now slapping against her, filling the room with body parts colliding with one another and uneven breathing and soft moans, and the aroma of sex beginning to flood the enclosed space. Wisps of his hair fall into his eyes, somewhat blocking his view on her as she falls apart underneath him, slowly becoming a pile of jelly and limbs.Â
âY/N-chan, Y/N-channnâŚâ he cries out, his hips now slamming against her, his hands gripping her in a vice grip as he chases the high that he so desperately craved. The motions cause the bed frame to shake and rattle with the headboard starting to bash against the wall. His eyes are locked on her, watching her as she is completely lost to the pleasure that heâs feeding her. Her eyes are closed with her eyebrows furrowed as if she were concentrating on something, her body jerking with each thrust that he plows into her, her breasts even more so, and her hands are white-knuckling the bedsheets.Â
Itâs a sight truly to behold in his eyes.Â
The tension in his abdomen is building to an uncomfortable tightness, the coil close to snapping as his orgasm nears. His hips start to buck into now, the pace almost inhuman.Â
âY/N-chanâŚIâm close. Iâm so close, I canâtâŚhaâŚI canât hold back anymoreâŚY/N-chan!âÂ
âOn meâŚI want it on meâŚâ she moans out, looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes in a lustful gaze. The corner of her mouth turned upward into a small smirk.Â
His brain nearly short-circuits at the thought of his seed painting her abdomen and chest and face.Â
It takes everything within Nanami to stop what heâs doing and pull his cock out of her. He rips the condom off, replacing it with his hand as he starts to vigorously stroke his hand up and down his length, a piss poor replacement for her warmth. He leans over her, putting his free hand by her head, locking eyes with her as he continued to masturbate, the sound of her wetness filling the room as he rapidly stroked up and down his length. She, in a heated second, wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down to press her lips to his, eager to feel his mouth on her again. He doesnât stop his movements, as he slips his tongue into her mouth, eager to explore her mouth once again.Â
The coil in his abdomen snaps, causing warmth to flood through him in waves throughout his entire core, with his seed finally spurting out of his red, angry tip. He has to stop, pulling away for just a moment as a gasping moan slips out of his mouth.
Y/N startles at the feeling of his heated droplets as they spray onto her abdomen and chest, some of them going as far onto her neck, but quickly relishes in the feeling of it. The majority of it pooling onto her abdomen as it flows from his tip. Nanami stutters out a groan as he slows his hand down, sitting back on his haunches, looking at the canvas that he painted on Y/Nâs body, his slowly deflating cock twitching at the sight of it.Â
Feeling mischievous, Y/N props herself up on her elbows as scoops up a glob of his seed off of her body. In her post-coital gaze, she maintains eye contact with him as she sticks her tongue out of her mouth, bringing the dollop of seed up to her mouth and places it onto her tongue. Nanamiâs eyes nearly dilate to the size of quarters as she pulls her tongue back into her mouth, as this may be one of the most erotic things heâs ever encountered in all of his years.Â
Y/N lets out a squeak as Nanami grabs hold of her hips and roughly pulls her down the mattress, fully placing her core against his length.
âIf I remember correctly, I donât think you came around me as we fucked, did you Y/N-chan?âÂ
Stunned at the sudden motion, all Y/N can really say is: âI, itâs fine Kento, I-â
âBullshit.âÂ
âYou made me come with your mouth, itâs fine-â
He shoots her a glare. âLet me do this for you. I want to make sure you feel good.â
He reaches up past her to grab a pillow at the head of the bed. âLift your hips up for me,â he instructs. She follows his command wordlessly and he stuffs the pillow underneath her, placing her pelvis at a bit of an upward angle.
He leans forward over her, placing his hands on either side of her, and places his cock straight onto her clit, and begins to thrust upward, using the external stimulation of his member to rub on her, trying to get her to orgasm once more for him.Â
Y/N lets out a soft moan at the feeling of him on her, the filthy sound of her slickness filling the room as Nanami thrusts up on her. She grabs onto her breasts and squeezes them against her chest, desperately trying to ground herself in the moment, but with Nanamiâs relentless assault, she finds herself drifting further and further away into the pleasure of it all.Â
âI want you to come for me, Y/N-chan,â he growls out, his eyes animalistic and unflinching. âI want you to come undone on my cock. I want you. In every sense. In every way.â
Y/N, once again rendered to a helpless pile of mush, finds herself unable to respond. The feeling of Nanamiâs cock on her clit begins to tighten her abdomen once again, causing white hot sensations to build within her. Her toes curl, she grasps onto Nanamiâs forearms with her nails digging into his skin. He lets out a hiss, but he doesnât stop. He doesnât dare.Â
âCome for me, darling. I want you to come for me. Can you do that for me? Be my good girl and come for me?âÂ
His words send her into overdrive with flushes of heat making their way directly to her core, more slickness slowly oozing out of her and dampening Nanamiâs cock the more he moved against her. He can feel himself hardening again, but he couldnât care less.Â
The more the heat and tension built within Y/N, the more that she squirmed and thrashed into the mattress. All of it mounting up to the point that Nanami was desperately trying to get her towards. He maintained his pace, but he leaned down onto her, smearing his seed on his chest, his lips right at her ear now. âYouâre almost there, arenât you?â
âKento, I⌠Oh my fucking⌠Christ!â Y/N cries out, wrapping both her arms and legs around Nanamiâs trunk. âPlease! Please, god! I canât take it anymore!âÂ
He teasingly licks the outer shell of her ear. âNo oneâs stopping you, Y/N-chan. Come for me.âÂ
As if her body were waiting for verbal permission from him, even though he had given it to her several times before, her abdomen collapses on itself, making her vision go white and her ears ring. She loudly cries out, her body jerking with each pulse of her orgasm. He can feel it on his length, and he swears he could have orgasmed once again just as he was.Â
He pulls away from her ear and looks at her blissed out face, her eyes closed as she tries to regain control of her breathing. He reaches up and gently cups the side of her face, tenderly brushing the sweat-dampened strands of hairs from her face behind her ears. âAre you okay?â he quietly asks.Â
She nods, her eyes still closed.Â
âLook at me, Y/N-chan.âÂ
She tiredly opens her eyes, looking at him blearily.Â
He offers a warm smile, before pressing a kiss to the center of her forehead before kissing his way down to her mouth, carefully tender pecks to where he could place his lips. He leans his forehead down, resting it upon hers. âI want you to stay home from work tomorrow.â
She looks at him in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing. âWhat? Why?â
âThere are some things that I need to take care of in the office. I would rather you not be there to witness them. Iâm not asking you, Iâm telling you, Y/N-chan.â His eyes are unfaltering, his tone absolute. There was no room for argument with him.
She hesitates, trying to digest what heâs telling her, a sinking feeling of unease starting to fill her abdomen. She trusts him, though.Â
And against her better judgment, she nods, a frown forming on her face.Â
âWill I see you later then, after work?â she asks, almost timidly.Â
He leans down and presses another kiss to her lips. âIâll do my best to see you, that is, if Akiyama doesnât have my head on a silver platter,â he jokes, trying to lighten the mood.Â
There were people that still needed to be dealt with.Â
~
He left her apartment early in the morning, while Y/N was dead asleep to the world. A sense of longing fills him as he looks upon her sleeping form, not wanting to leave her only for her to wake up alone, however, there was urgent business that needed attending to.Â
On the elevator ride to the floor where the office was located, his briefcase weighed a bit heavier than it normally did. As soon as he stepped into the common area where all of the other employees were, the majority of them did double-takes at him, all their gazes locked on him as he slowly stalked his way to Akiyamaâs office. He didnât bother to knock on the door or wait for any notion that it was okay for him to enter into the enclosed space, he simply barged in, catching Akiyama off guard as he sat at his desk, tapping away at his computer.
âNanami-san!â He jumps, startled at the sudden intrusion, before a rather sour look crosses over his face as the memories of the day prior begin to flash through his mind. He regains control of himself, and puts on a rather tight expression on his face. âHave a seat. We need to have a discussion about your petulant behavior yesterday.âÂ
âI donât think I will. Iâll remain standing for the rest of this conversation,â Nanami cooly responds. He knows that itâs not going to last long.
âFine. Stand for all I care.âÂ
Akiyama then goes on a tirade about how Nanamiâs behavior yesterday was inexcusable, how itâs totally unprofessional for him to speak to his superior in the manner that he did, and how he has grounds to fire Nanami and Y/N for abandoning their work duties with unexcused work absences, and so on, so forth.Â
The more Akiyama ranted, the more Nanamiâs hearing started to drown out due to a loud whistling sound in his ears. Red, hot anger was flooding in his chest, making both his heart rate and respiration rate increase in rhythm.Â
Though Akiyama canât see it, the blue glow of cursed energy started to fully envelope Nanamiâs body the more that his anger grew. He wasnât on overtime, but his emotions were getting the better of him, not allowing him to think clearly and making him tap into his excess cursed energy that he stored within himself.Â
Akiyama, clearly not paying attention, continues on, now going on about something that Nanami canât hear due to the whistling in his ears. His eyes analytically looked at Akiyamaâs face, the invisible ratio line starting to form on his center, beginning from the base of his jaw to the tip of his receding widowâs peak. The increment markings began to form, and the seventh ratio line formed at his glabella, the point in between his eyebrows and just above his nasal bone.Â
Nanami sets his briefcase down on one of the chairs.Â
Akiyama canât make it to another point as Nanamiâs fist connects to the glabella and smashes his face and skull inward.Â
The impact of the blow is fatal.Â
Incident Log # 207
Multiple casualties were reported on the seventh floor of the Fujimoto Office Complex in the ward of Shinjuku, in the prefecture of Tokyo. Thirty two bodies were accounted for out of thirty four employees. Seventeen men, and fifteen women. The nature of injuries closely correlate to that of a sorcerer instead of a cursed entity. Residuals of cursed energy left behind strongly indicate that of former Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College student and graduate Nanami Kento. Nanami Kento is an employee at the Fujimoto office and has been missing since the attack occurred. The only other survivor is Y/L Y/N, as she had not been reported to be at the location when the incident transpired.Â
Special Grade Sorcerer Gojo Satoru is assigned to the case.
The natures and causes of death are reported as followed:Â
Akiyama Hinata, aged fifty seven, nature of injuries: concave trauma to the frontal lobe of cranium. Cause of death: blunt force trauma to the head.
Fumiko Asami, aged thirty one, nature of injuries: body sliced in half at the anterior inferior iliac spine of pelvis, causing bilateral femoral arteries to be cut open and massive blood loss to occur. Cause of death: blood loss and hypovolemic shock.
Aiko Marina, aged thirty, nature of injuriesâŚ
Y/N canât even stomach her way through the rest of the report and she throws it onto the table in front of her. Sheâs sitting in an interrogation room with a silver haired man that sports a blindfold over his eyes. Heâs introduced himself as Gojo Satoru, the main investigator on this case and sheâs been presented with pictures of the crime scene and surveillance footage of the office as the attack went down. She watched as Nanami, for lack of a better word, butchered the entire office as he wielded a giant blunt knife that was wrapped in a white cloth with black spots all over it that was secretly concealed within his briefcase that he brought in that morning.Â
She wants to vomit.Â
âIs there anything else that you might be able to tell me involving this incident?â Gojo pries, as he leans back into the chair, placing his feet on the edge of the table. âIt was reported that Nanami Kento did have a bit of a soft spot for you leading up to the attack. Is there any chance that he might have mentioned something to you about it?â
Y/N shakes her head, her eyes locked onto two pictures of Nanami that lay on the table. One of him when he was a student, with his long, sandy blonde hair that swooped over both of his eyes to one side, and the other looking as if it had been taken yesterday, with his hair in a professional side part, dressed in his regular two piece attire. âHe didnât mention anything like this. To be frank, I didnât even know that he contained such power within himself.â Which, to be fair, wasnât a total lie. Y/N didnâ know that he was a jujutsu sorcerer to begin with. âHe was very big on keeping his personal life separate from his professional life.âÂ
She doesnât dare tell them of the intimate moments that she shared with him the night before. She doesnât tell them of the note that Nanami left her in her apartment that morning that sits in the back pocket of her pants. To her, in that moment, it feels as if it weighs over a thousand pounds.
Itâs the last thing that she has of Nanami. She wonât give it up. Not now, not ever.Â
Gojo sighs, before taking his feet off the edge of the table, letting his chair lean forward back into its normal position. He digs into one of his pockets and offers her a contact card. âIf you remember anything at all, please donât hesitate to reach out to me. Iâd be more than happy to meet you in a different place than this dreary old place.âÂ
He tries to make her laugh, but itâs futile.Â
âAm I free to leave?âÂ
He nods. âYou were never imprisoned here to begin with.âÂ
She gets up, does a 45 degree bow at the waist, and quickly takes her leave, eager to be off the campus of the Jujutsu Technical College campus. Thereâs a sense of unease that fills her the more time that she spends there.Â
On the train ride back to her apartment, she pulls the note out of her pocket and reads it through, like itâs the first time. His handwriting is scribbled onto the paper, his characters completely lacking the neat and orderly fashion that sheâs so accustomed to seeing from him.Â
Dearest Y/N,
By the time that youâre reading this, I have no doubt in my mind that the news stations will be reporting on what Iâve done to our co-workers. Or should I say âformerâ.Â
Iâm sorry that it took me so long to stand up to the rest of them, especially for the sake of what they were doing to you on a daily basis. You didnât deserve to be treated like you were nothing. You didnât deserve to be humiliated and bullied by them. I will always be forever regretful that I allowed it to continue on for such a long period of time. I wanted to make things better for you, Y/N.Â
Iâm sorry that this is the way things have to end between the two of us, even though our relationship had only just barely begun. You are the first woman that Iâve encountered in my life that made me want to better myself. Be kinder. More tender with my actions and how I interacted with the world and the people in it. Â
Itâs a shame that Iâm reduced to such callous actions on my part.Â
Iâm a coward for running away. I know I am. I know that theyâll be looking for me. They most likely will try to interrogate you, coerce information out of you. I wonât begrudge you if you did. You would be doing the right thing, of course. With the actions Iâm about to commit, it surely would be the only way.Â
I love you.Â
I should be saying this directly to you, and softly caressing your face while I do so, but this is the next best option. I love you. Granted, we only spent so much time together, but as Iâve said previously before, Iâve grown to care for you. Much more than I initially let on.Â
I can only hope to see you in the near future, but I donât know if that will ever come to fruition or not.Â
Please take care of yourself, Y/N-chan.
-Nanami Kento
Thank you for reading đ
#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#kento nanami#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#kento nanami x reader#jjk x you#salaryman nanami#villain nanami kento#jjk nanami kento#kento x reader#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk angst#jujustsu kaisen x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x y/n#jjk x y/n#villain Kento Nanami#i love a man
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There are many warriors, fools and children, Captain. The child in you can't see how things are, but how they can be. The fool denies his destiny, but it is the warrior you are who will create one. You are never one of these. In time, you become all of them.
This is the moment Kallus finally realizes that he's never going to catch the Spectres. And it's the moment that his redemption begins.
Every single episode Kallus is in this season he's met with failure after failure, and we witness his frustration grow every single time. He tries everything, has all of the odds in his favor countless times and yet every single time the rebels slip through his fingers.
And it all leads to this. This has to be it. He has the Spectres cornered against an exploded star cluster, they have no where to go, this time he's going to win. He has the laws of physics as his ally for force sake!
... but he still loses.
The rebels fly into the star cluster, completely unharmed. Meanwhile his Tie Fighters and light cruiser are being torn apart right in front of him.
I've seen so much talk about how Zeb sparing Kallus's life on Bahyrn was the prophesy of the Child saving the Warrior being fulfilled. I'm not arguing with that, because the prophesy was fulfilled time and time again in Rebels. But this was the first spark of the flame that saved Kallus.
This was the Child saving the Warrior for the first time.
Had this episode happened sooner than it did, I think Kallus would have continued to fly in after them and died - or at the very least gotten very close to it, with all of his men dead and him hanging on for dear life in a barely functioning escape pod.
He wouldn't have had the mounting pile of failures to humble him, wouldn't have had the miracles he'd witnessed the Spectres pull off as warnings to not take them lightly. When we first met Kallus he was an extremely prideful man (still is, even when he defects, but he gains some humility to balance it out), so certain of himself that he quite literally threw himself into danger numerous times with the expectation that he'd win, because he'd never been challenged like he had been with the Spectres. If he was still that same unchallenged man all would have been lost.
But Kallus lets them go, crawling away with a damaged but still mostly working ship after witnessing the laws and forces of nature itself bend to the rebels will.
And it destroys his pride, and his hope. He's been thoroughly devastated by his failures... though he is still in denial about why he's failing, and why he'll continue to fail. He still isn't seeing the bigger picture about the shortcomings of the Empire, he still doesn't think to ask the questions he should. Much like the Fool, in denial of what is destiny.
The next time we see Kallus is above Geonosis - with like 30 storm troopers, a handful of walkers, and... what? 3 tie fighters for an ambush against enemies that fought gravity and won?
He went into this knowing there wasn't a point. And the entire time his ambush party is distracting the rest of the Spectres he's fighting Zeb - and only Zeb. He follows him all the way into an escape pod, with the goal seemingly to take Zeb down with him, because he knows that he can't take them all. But if he can get one, the one who he's obsessed with the most, then it will be enough.
A very foolish plan, much befitting the Fool.
This plan inevitably fails, and Kallus is injured and stranded with his mortal enemy. Unable to fight anymore he submits himself to his failure, so certain that he's going to either be murdered by Zeb or freeze to death. He sits there, shivering and terrified, muttering about the monsters in the dark.
Much like a Child.
There are many warriors, fools and children. In time, you become all of them.
When Zeb spares Kallus's life, giving him the meteorite to keep warm, moving to fight the Bonzami alone, mending Kallus's hurt leg, taking his advice on how to get out of the cave, all before carrying him up the pillar and throwing him out of harms way - the child completely and undoubtedly saving the warrior - Kallus shoots the Bonzami instead of Zeb.
The Child saves the Warrior, and in turn the Warrior saves the Child. Time and time again. Kallus asks questions, he becomes fulcrum, he risks his life and safety over and over again to save Zeb and his family. And as Zeb found Lira San by saving Kallus, Kallus finds a home on Lira San by saving Zeb.
And it all started here.
#agent kallus#alexsandr kallus#star wars rebels#garazeb orrelios#star wars rebels gifs#Star Wars Rebels Season 2 Episode 14
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OMG HII!! I'm also a new writer alsooo! So I want to request you:3!!!
how about some deku x FEM/AFMAB!reader? pro hero deku and him talkiing to his wife after defeating a villain! her being worried and him wanting to jump make her feel good? THNX ŮŠ(ŕš> â <)ŰśâĽ
-LUVVY
HIII!! EEKK! Iâm SO excited about requests! Consider your wish granted! Enjoy!
PS! Go check out Luvvy! Sheâs such a great writer!! âĄď¸
Pro Hero Deku x Fem reader !!
Genre: Fluff + Smut !!
~ !Sub Izuku x !Dom fem reader ~
Warnings: Breeding, Oral, Blowjob, tit fuck, grinding, slight overstimulation, pleading/obeying!
[ ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE THE AGE 18 ]
You were pacing back and forth in your living room, eagerly awaiting your husband's return.
The time was dragging on, and it was getting late. Earlier, he had sent you a message saying he would be home by 8pm, but later you received a text saying he would be later then planned due to work and apologizing.
Being married to the top hero in Japan had its perks, but also itâs flaws. Balancing his hero duties with your relationship was challenging, but you knew he was giving his all for you.
He made efforts to spend time with you, but sometimes work got in the way. You tried you best to not let it bother you, but sometimes it hurts.
[ TEXT MSG POV ]
Izuđ: âHey honey, Iâm so sorry. I wonât be home til late again. I thought Iâd be home by 8, but the agency wanted me to go out. they found these specific villains weâve been trying to find for months. Donât worry, Iâll be home soon and Iâll make it up to you soon, I promise. Love you <3â
You: âitâs okay Izu, I know your work is very important and difficult. I wonât make it a big deal, just stay safe and Iâll be waiting for you, love you too. đâ
[ Izuđ Liked your message ]
-
You didn't want to cause him concern or show him that you were truly disturbed. You placed your phone on the coffee table and relaxed on the comfortable couch while watching your favorite TV show.
You ended up falling asleep on the sofa. Soon a gentle voice softly called out your name, being careful not to startle you.
âY/n..?â
You slowly opened your eyes and were greeted by your husband. As soon as you recognized his face while still half asleep, you hugged him tightly.
âIzu!â
He sighs and returns the hug, making an effort to provide you comfort. You don't want to inconvenience him, but you always find yourself feeling anxious.
âBaby, Iâm okay see? Still in one piece. Iâd never ever not just come home, Iâll always come home to you. Thatâs a promise. You are my wife, Iâd do anything for you and to keep you safe, make you happy, whatever you need. Iâm so sorry Iâm not here as much as you wish I was.â
The guilt look on his face deepened, you knew you werenât upset with him deep down. He kissed your hand politely. Such a gentleman đđ..
âWhat happened out there Izu? I know you do everything you can, Iâm sorry I get so worried, you are the best hero out there. Sometimes I forget Iâm married to him. I just wish the agency didnât need you as much. They shouldnât keep relying on you all the time.â
The silence was loud until Izuku broke it. He felt bad but, didnât know what to exactly say, not that he didnât agree, cause he definitely did.
âThatâs true, Iâve tried to point that out to my boss, but clearly that doesnât always work. I really wanna work less to be with you hun, work on our own personal lives and have a family at some point. Itâs all I ever want love.â
Heâd caress you cheek gently while speaking.
âI missed you too, the villain I had to deal with was a pain in the ass to say the least. But we eventually got him taken care of, and he got arrested. Weâve been looking for him for months, so itâs about time he got what was coming. I just wanna keep everyone safe, most importantly you safe.â
You humbly accepted his apology and kissed him softly. You felt safe to say the least now, and happy heâs home now.
âItâs okay, I forgive you. Itâs not even your fault, just jobs being jobs. So I donât take it personally babe.â
You smiled at him and sat into his lap hugging him. Eventually you pulled away from the embrace and put your hand on his face gently caressing his cheek, with your other hand on his shoulder, almost around his neck. The slow movements and missing your beloved husband made you get aroused.
You just wanted to make love with your husband you hardly see anymore. Gently grinding on him at first. Izuku knows exactly what you are doing, but wonât complain. He loves it when you get like this, especially if itâs been some time since youâve both even remotely spent time together sexually or not.
âAha, I see you really missed me huh? Donât think I donât see what youâre doing hun.â
He laughs eventually putting his hands on your waist. His hands slowly going down grabbing your ass, cupping it firmly. That makes you squeak slightly but you loved it.
You both knew what was about to happen, so you both went for it. You leaned into him kissing him firmly. Izuku kissed you back while cupping your ass once again.
You loved it when heâd touch you like this, youâve been wanting it for a while now. Sloppy moans filling up the room by just kissing and grinding, you both knew you wanted to take it further.
You eventually stood up just to get on your knees in front of him. He knew what was next and honestly, heâs still pretty shy til this day about you seeing him naked. You find it cute, who wouldnât? Being married for so long and still embarrassed is just so adorable.
You slowly unzipped his pants and took them off, he helped with his belt, and just like that. You could tell he was hard even before you took his pants off, but damn he was seriously hard for you.
The bulge peaking in his boxers made you wanna hurry, but you didnât. Taking your sweet time with him. You took his boxers off. Izuku blushed heavily, his dick just inches away from your face.
You immediately stared at it and started stroking him. His silent moans from this made it even harder for you to not rush this.
âA-ah.. baby.. please.. use your mouth, I-i need you.. hah..â
He pleaded like a puppy, you thought it was just the cutest thing, so obedient.
âDonât worry izu, Iâll make sure youâll get everything you deserve.â
You took your shirt off carefully, he watched your movements. Seeing your laced bra was doing the trick, taking that off as well throwing it behind.
Your chest was bare, izuku looked flustered as usual seeing you shirtless, he loves it desperately. Carefully, you lined up your boobs against his cock to do a nice tit fuck, maybe even using your mouth as well.
His moans being so pure to the moment, the friction between the both of you.
âFuck.. babygirl, your tits are so soft.. ah.. hah..â
You giggled at this and while giving him a pleasant tit fuck, you put his cock in your mouth. Making him a little overstimulated, you loved it. You were taking a nice bit of him down your throat while using your soft chest to your advantage.
âYou think you can do two rounds baby? I really want you to cum all over my tits and face.â
Heâd talk in between moans.
âI-I can.. hah.. Iâd love to cum right now, b-baby please faster, Iâm almost t-there..â
You loved his pleading, but because you loved it, it was time you gave him this opportunity to cum all over you. You starting going faster and eventually he came just like that all over you.
âC-cumming.. f-fuck! Ahh..hah.!â
Strings of sticky hot cum was all over your body, you had stuck out your tongue as well and caught some. You were a mess, he loved it do desperately.
âAhh.. s-sorry baby.. I didnât know how much I-iâ
You stood up immediately and kissed him, during the kiss you sat back in his lap. Moaning in between kisses, gasps for air. Eventually you pulled off for a moment and giggled.
âItâs more than okay babes, I love when your this pent up, makes itâs more fun for the both of us, more cum for me to enjoy.â
Caressing his cheek, you slowly took off your bottoms and panties. He helped you ever so slightly, grabbing on to your body.
Slight moans fill up the room, kisses all over the place as you undress. You both have needed this desperately.
âYou do things to me babygirl..â
You giggled once again at his words again. Once you got all your clothes off, you straddled his hips and positioned yourself onto him. Slowly going down on him. It felt amazing.
âH-ah.. b-baby⌠youâre so t-ti-tightâŚI canât re-restrain myself.. hah⌠p-please m-moveâŚâ
The pleading made this even more enjoyable, to the both of you, he knew it excited you. With a simple nod of your, you moved your body up and down slowly continuously on his length.
The sounds of your wetness, Izukuâs cum along with your saliva made the sweetest plopping sounds. He eventually moved his hands back on to your lower waist grabbing it firmly and also slamming you down on him
Moans filled the room, and you just loved seeing his lewd face, seeing your husband, again the number one hero at your mercy.
You could just cum right now thinking about it, but the fact itâs happening right now and better than ever made hanging on for a while longer so much more enjoyable. Eventually the pace increased.
âF-fuck! I-izu.. a-ah.. har-harder!â
Moans, whimpers and groans echoing throughout the house. He took your request to heart and started being more rough while pounding into to you. He loved watching your body move on him, especially seeing your chest bounce in his face.
Getting fucked like this was a dream to you, Izuku is definitely not as dominant as he seems to be, but man did you love it when he had this pent up energy to just rail you, but also doing so while you are in charge still.
âI-izu! I-Iâm aboutâ t-to cum..!â
You yelped while continuously going up and down on his cock, but also with Izuku moving his hips and slamming you onto him with great speed and force.
âC-cum with me b-baby.. hah⌠do it for me sweetheart..!â
Higher pitched moans filled the room once more and one loud moan released from the both of you. He came inside of you, and you came on his cock. He loved it just as much as you did. Heâs never bred you before, but he knew itâs something you wanted to happen.
âAhh.. hah⌠I-Izuku⌠I- I missed you.. so.. so much..â
Hugging him while he was still inside of you. He giggled and comforted you with a warm and gentle hug back.
âI-i.. missed you too my love, I promise we will have our own time more often.. hah..â
Both of you still out of breath from the hottest sex youâve both had in a long time with each other.
âI love you, so much.â
He kissed your forehead moving your hair out of your face.
âLetâs get cleaned up, and we can relax. This will be our time babe, Iâll be taking tomorrow off.â
He smiled at you, he felt bad for taking to much time away from you. He loved his job, itâs something heâs worked for, for most of his life.
But itâs good to put the important people first, take the chances you can with that special person. You smiled and nodded at him.
âMhm!â
You eased yourself off of him and both of you started walking to the bathroom to take a nice relaxing shower together.
âCan we watch a Disney movie!! Thereâs this one film that Iâve seen on Disney plus but never sat down to actually watch it.â
Excitement you felt just remotely spending time with him. He laughed and felt so lucky to have you as his wife.
âHaha! Of course babe, anything for you.â
â [ Time skip after the shower! ] â
You both dried off and got some comfortable pjs on, of course you put on only some panties and one of Izukuâs all might shirts, it was pretty big on you but that made it even better.
As soon as you both get settled down, you both laidďżź in bed snuggling together while watching [Fav Disney film] basically though you fell asleep half way through the movie.
Izuku was still watching until he noticed you were out. He laughed to himself in awe and kissed your cheek and turned off the TV.
âGood night sweetheart..â
And just like that, a night Iâd say successful in a wholesome and sexy wayâŚ
ââââ- âĄď¸ ââââ-
A/n: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!! My first actual smut on my blog!! ^w^ I love me some Izuku content <3
#izuku midoriya#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#mha x y/n#mha izuku#izuku x reader#izuku midoria x reader#mha midoriya#bnha midoriya#midoriya izuku#mha deku#deku#bnha deku#bnha#mha#reader x Izuku#my hero academia#my hero academy fanfiction#fanfic#izuku midoryia smut#smut#mha smut#mha smash#izuku smut#shoto todoroki#katsuki bakugo mha#denki kaminari#kirishima ejirou
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Letâs talk about Mystra
Hello everyone, I wanted to talk about MystrađđŽ
As much of a crazy lover as I am for my fictional wizard, the more lore research I do, the more I feel like Mystra deserves some love too. This goddess lives a cursed life. I know I know she asked Gale to kill himself, but bear with me; here are my arguments:
A bit history of Mystra
Thereâre 3 Mystra: Mystryl -> Mystra (Elminsterâs Mystra) -> Mystra (Midnight)
In short, Mystryl is the fourth deity in the universe, composed of Shar & SelĂťneâs essence. She is one of the primal existences while the universe is still new and trying to settle down, a significant component of the universe itself. While Mystrylâs spirit was born naturally, Mystra and Midnight were both once mortal and raised by AO to inherit Mystrylâs power.
Is Mystra bad?
Midnight, âMystra 3rd â is who we met in BG3. She was a human magic user born in 1332 DR. Midnight was aiding Mystra 2nd at the time of troubles. Sheâs a kind-hearted and humble woman who ascended in 1358 DR. She didnât want godhood at all; she only did it to counter Cyric, the bad guy.
From comic book Avatar (1991)
For decades, she even tried to allow only the good use of magic, later learning her duty and place as the guardian of balance and impartial arbiter of the Weave; no matter how Midnight feels or hopes things could have been. She was only 26 when she had to wave goodbye to everyone she knew, shouldering the 24/7 goddess duty. Itâs true that she will inherit other Mystraâs memory, but personality-wise she is only 160 years old; even Halsin is older than her. (Not to mention she spent 94 years in dormant)
Note[1]: Later on all the Mystra mentioned I will be talking about Midnight
Note[2]: Dec17/2023 I will come back and edit this section; it's misleading according to Ed Greenwood's tweet. The current Mystra is likely a blend of all three Mystras with an unspecified proportion. I will provide details on the stories and deeds of the other Mystras.
Being Mystra sucks. Truly.
Imagine your body is just a thing lying on the street; anyone can command you to dance for them so long as they know the right spell. While you CAN reject it, you are NOT ALLOWED to.
Whatâs worse is that too many mortals and too many gods want the Weave, but itâs not something that she can âgiveâ. Like no one can give away their body to someone else. She IS the Weave; I think of it as the Weave being the cells that compose her. Whoever wants to take it away will have to separate her mind and âbodyâ by:
killing her and inherit the Weave, where all the attempters failed step 2, then only resulted in a broken/Weaveless crisis
or completely manipulating her mind, which is the option no one ever considers; they all go straight to killing her
Whenever DnD wants to change the rules, they kill Mystra.
Shar wants the Weave, Bane wants it, countless mortals want it too. According to the conversation between Gale and Lorroakan, itâs almost a common conversation trying to dethrone the goddess and take the power for themselves.
And no one is there to protect Mystra; she fights alone. Although she has a good relationship with gods like SelĂťne or Azuth, nobody lent a hand when she was murdered. She relies on her chosens and her own power.
On top of defending herself, aka protecting the Weave, another important duty is to maintain the Weave. Whenever a spell is cast, it damages the Weave, and she is the one to patch the holes. The more powerful the spell is, the bigger damage it will cause. Thatâs why her dogma includes âUse the Art deftly and efficiently, not carelessly and recklessly.â She also needs to keep an eye out for possible upcoming threats. A tough and tedious job, and no holidays for the goddess.
It might sound a bit twisted, but she is taking care of the world by taking care of herself. Anything happening to her means catastrophe for the world. (e.g., Spellplague, where magic caused mutations to the users, see wiki here)
But she asked Gale to explode himself!
Yes, and she also promised Elysium once heâs dead. There is actually a thorough afterlife setting in the Forgotten Realms DnD setting. In short, a spirit doesnât perish when a mortal dies; it would be drawn to the Fugue Plane and wait for the god they prayed to in life to send a servant to take them to their heaven.
Itâs a terrible fate for the faithless or false spirits, those who either defy their gods or never choose one. They are forever punished in this grim plane and even become part of the Wall of the Faithless.
Fugue Plane and Wall of the Faithless: those are spirits piling up into a wall
In Mystraâs case, her heaven is Elysium, judging by the name, you can already tell itâs likely a heavenly place. Significantly better than the Fugue Plane, thatâs for sure.
Itâs a fixed truth that all will die someday, and Galeâs afterlife options are:
Defy Mystra: When he dies, he will be forever punished as a false in the Fugue Plane. Not to mention Kelemvor, Lord of the Dead, is also Midnight Mystraâs former(?) lover, and he detests cowardice.
Defy Mystra and try to gain favor from another god: I think this will mean changing class and profession for him, as a wizard he is tied to Mystra after all.
Serve Mystra and be taken to Elysium: And who knows, since he is chosen of Mystra, she might even revive him someday. Mystra 2nd did that for her other chosen before. Note: Interesting reading about how her chosen become weaveghost after death, see wiki here.
Obtain godhood: When the god Gale dies, he will go through a completely different process.
An interesting thought here is whether Gale knows about all these. It will largely define what his true colors are. It wouldnât make sense if he is completely ignorant of afterlife logic, though. His background is an experienced wizard (probably studied some necromancy), goddess ex, and apparently visited heavens before.
Is Mystra power-thirsty?
I wouldnât say so. She is already OP, and AO asked her to nerf herself by sharing and storing power in her chosens. Even if she were to gain more power, she is not allowed to keep it.
She wants the Shadow Weave
She sees Sharâs secret creation, the Shadow Weave, as a threat and aims to eventually subsume it into her portfolio, even if that means sacrificing her last remaining goodness and humanity.
From the DnD book âFaith & Pantheonsâ
We see how Shar is using her Shadow Weave in the cursed land, and it's safe to say it's not an ideal living environment for most beings. Shar has been very keen to kill Mystra and take over her power; I donât think the world would be a better place in her hands than in Mystraâs.
She wants the Karsite Weave
The same logic could apply to the Karsite Weave. While we can argue whether Gale has a good heart and can be trusted with godlike power, he did show some concerning traits, did he not? Maybe in the future, when he is wiser and calmer, that's how I read Mystraâs line when she tells him to be patient.
Why doesnât she just cure him since she can?
This is 100% headcanon. I think Mystra as a goddess is able to foresee some future. In Elminsterâs story series, Mystra 2nd often asked him to do things that seemed irrelevant but were actually needed in the future. In Galeâs case, could it be thatâs what Midnight meant to do? To mentor and humble him? Even prepare him to go through this journey? (Hardly imagine the prime archmage Gale joining our little merry band, and Elminster did say, âMystra was anything but idle- she chose you as her champion.â What could that means?)
Gale has a curve where he goes from being âirked by untalented apprenticesâ to âenjoying teaching a lotâ if not using the crown. He could have been relying on magic too much, and his ego or pursuit of power had led him astray from his good nature. If you look from this perspective, offering to use the orb before the final battle could be him still having doubts about the team's ability and having more faith in magic aka his own power (mixed with his deep love for everyone that he'd rather die than see their lives wasted, of course).
She is a terrible lover, and she doesn't care about Gale at all
According to patch 5, how time feels in the outer plane is very different from the material plane. God Gale came back in 6 months, and he seems not aware that it has been months. With this logic and putting myself in Mystra's shoes, she got mad because Gale recklessly activated a magical nuclear bomb and ignored him for a couple of weeks.(~1 year in the mortal world) When they meet again, this grumpy jumpy bean is thinking of the possibility of killing her for her powers already. Excuse me???
I will say there could be more considerate ways to handle this subject other than asking him to bomb himself. This long-distance cross-race romance was very problematic, but I will reserve my opinion on how much love she holds for Gale. Probably not seeing him as an equal partner, of course, but drawing the conclusion that she doesn't care a tad about his well-being might be too hasty, in my opinion.
A screenshot of Mystra telling Gale that she wasn't the one who took his gifts away from him. That's not an expression of 0 sympathy to me. I've never seen her make this face except for this line.
*UPDATE on Dec 11/2023* Add a tweet from Ed Greenwood, the creator of the Forgotten Realms. Ref: X
*UPDATE on Jan 11/2024* ⢠Add a screenshots during Gale's meeting with her ⢠Add a note on DnD weaveghost setting *UPDATE on Apr 15/2024* ⢠An great analysis of Gale & Mystra's relationship and Mystra's behavior logic
-DISCLAIMER- I am very new to the DnD world, but these are what I dug up and puzzled together. I could be very, very wrong, but please be kind; I did all this out of love for my wizard đđđ
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Hecate/Hekate: Goddess of Magic, Crossroads, Witchcraft, Sorcery, Ghosts, and Necromancy,
Offerings include:
1. almonds
2. foxglove
3. mint
4. sage
5. yew
6. rose petals
7. lavendar
8. cypress and willow leaves
9. frankensince
10. obsidian
11. quartz
12. seashells
13. black dog fur
14. dog nail clippings
15. images of dogs (pictures, personal drawings, dog plushies, etc.)
16. keys
17. personal offerings (nail clippings, hair)
18. anything relating to the moon (pictures, keychains, personal drawings, etc.)
19. crow, raven, and/or owl feathers
20. crossroads dirt
21. owl feathers
22. raven/crow/black feathers
23. snakeskin
24. horse hair (UPG, because horse is sacred to Her)
25. Lapis Lazuli
26. iron and bronze
27. lodestone
28. black stones/gems
29. candles, lanterns
30. statuettes of Her sacred animals
31. artwork of Her and Her sacred objects and symbols
32. poetry, music and writing in Her honour
Prayers to Hekate:
1. Glory to you, O Hekate Goddess who guards our opportunities
Queen of magic and circumstance
Keyholder, beloved mother of witches Hekate, guide me through blessed doors
Shut those that might lead to my destruction
Hekate, she who holds the keys to the realms of time
Hekate, the goddess of wisdom and fate
Who hears the whisper of prophecy
Goddess of mysteries
Take my hand, O Goddess
Put all your knowledge into my palm And let your magic flow through me
2. "Hekate, Mother of the Night so dark, Guiding spirit, with wisdom to embark.
In the moon's gentle glow, and shadows deep,
Your presence and power, our souls do
keep.
Goddess of crossroads, guardian of the way,
Hear our prayer on this sacred day.
With torches aglow, and keys in hand, Lead us through life's mysteries, we understand.
Hekate, your guidance, we humbly seek, In your wisdom and strength, we find what we need.
Protect and guide us, in darkness and light,
Mother of the Night, bless our path tonight.
3. Hecate when I doubt, Show me my strength;
When I am wrong,
Show me the right path;
Light the crossroads before me,
That I might see my way,
Queen of transitions,
Guardian of Doorways, Hecate, bless my journeys,
Through dark and dawn, day and dusk.
Help me bring into balance the forces within myself.
Light and dark, above and below,
As a coin can not have only one side, I am not whole, one without the other.
#hellenic worship#hellenic polythiest#hellenic deities#hekate#hekate devotee#hekate devotion#hekate deity#hekate worship
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Don't Speak 38
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary:Â Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)
Character:Â librarian!Andy Barber
Note:Â new year, same Andrew.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. Iâm trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I havenât forgotten those!)
Love you all. Take care. đ
You bend over the tub, testing the temperature with your fingertips. That incessant flutter doesn't quit. Your stomach is all topsy turvy. With guilt, with shame, with anxiety.
Every word Andy said echoes in your head. His pain, his anger, and that other thing that always overrides the rest; neediness. He doesn't want, he needs. Everything.
Before you can stand, something caresses your lower back. You squeak and stand so fast it makes you dizzy. As you face Andy, your feet tangle in each other.
He's already down to his boxers. You don't see the rest of his clothes, he must've come like that. You give a sheepish smile and press against the side of the tub.
He grins but winces. He turns to check his reflection, leaning in as he touches his swollen cheek. Another strike of guilt razes your body.
He backs away from the mirror and drops his hands. You look off as he feels along the front of his underwear. You don't know why it still makes you so⌠nervous.
He pulls the fabric down and you sidle along the tub. You can't get past him. He looms over you and brushes close as he peers into the water.
âNo bubbles?â He says.
You flinch and clasp your hands together, âsorry, Iââ
âI'm teasing, honey,â he touches your shoulder, rubbing the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers, âyou're going to join me, right? You saidâŚâ
âYeah, yeah,â you squeak, âI just⌠you get in firstâŚâ
He lingers but only for a moment. He turns as you avoid looking directly at him. You push away the thoughts that battle against each other. Those fearful ones which note the strength corded in his muscles, and those other, curious and confused. The one's not innately attached to him which often wander to another. Someone you shouldn't think of like that.
You chew your lip as you muster what courage you have left. Much of it was spent simply knocking on his door. You've never been very brave, have you?
You pull your blouse off first. The short exhales that hisses beneath the noise of the faucet tickles your ears. You know he's watching you. That makes your hands shake.
You fold the crisp white blouse over the end of the counter and undo the top button of skirt. You shimmy out and lay it with the top. Then you pull the stockings down your legs, leaning on the counter for more than balance.
You stand in your plain white bra and panties. Andy clucks as the water stirs.
âWe should get you some cute bras to go with your panties,â he says, âmaybe pink?â
You swallow. You don't know what to say. He's being provocative and you know it.
âI like purple better,â you say as you steel yourself and unhook your bra. You hesitate before you let it fall away.
âPurple is nice too,â he agrees. âHoneyâŚâ
He leans back and reaches his arm over the edge of the tub. You turn to him, fingers on the then scalloped elastic of your panties. You're being good. You won't argue. You won't hurt him again.
You roll down your panties and leave them on the tile. You have to keep from sprinting away and make yourself go forward. You approach the tub and he reached for you. You accept his large hand as you step over the wall of the tub.
He purrs and guides you down, his other hand tracing along the curve of your hip and side. You sit between his legs as he makes room for you. He's rigid against your back, twitching as he eases you to recline against his stomach.
He sighs as the tension slowly leaves his muscles. His hands wander along your lower stomach. You try to keep from locking up but your stiff and startled. He cups your chest and wiggles beneath you. Your heartbeat hammers.
âYou nervous?â He chuckles into your hair.
You nod and gulp loudly.
âWhy, baby? We've done it all before.â
âI⌠know,â you quiver, âbut⌠it's still new to me.â
He laughs again, his thumbs rolling around your nipples until they're hard.
âThat's good. To feel that way. That excitement,â his timbre is silty and deep, âyou know I feel the same. I can't get enough because every time feels just as good as the first.â
âOh, uh, yeah,â you agree weakly. You waych the water rise and squirm, âit's going to overflow.â
You try to sit up but he holds you down for a moment. Keeping you against him, just a second, as if to say, I am letting you get away. You rise up and twist off the faucet as his fingertips dancing up and down your back.
You lay back again and he groans. His swollen dick bobs between you. He curls and arm across your stomach, his other hand dipping beneath the water to knead the side of your ass. He nuzzles your crown as the rumble in his chest gets louder.
âWill you put me in?â He asks.
You don't know what he means. Not at first. Not until he shifts his hips, lifting you slightly so his tip prods along your cheeks. You grasp the edge of the tub as your eyes round.
âPlease, I just want to feel you.â
You nod, speechless. You ache at the thought. You don't think your ready for him. Have you ever been?
You push your hand under the water and angle around. You find him and line him up with your cunt. Even submerged, you're dry. You tilt your hips and rub his head along your lips, trying to work up to it.
You feel his impatience as he rocks his hips, prodding again. You hold your breath and angle him against your entrance. It burns just to get his head in you. You pull back and try again, a little further but just as fiery.
Slowly you get him, halfway as he growls and once more fondles your chest. He tilts from below, moving his hips steadily until he chafes past your resistance. You whimper but try to make it sound less agonized.
âMmm,â he buries himself to his limit, well past your own. Tears bobble on your eyes. âI could stay just like this. How about you, honey?â
You nod and tamp down the pain, âyes⌠Anâhoney.â
He doesn't move. He keeps you flush as he continues to feel you up. He reaches down to knead your thighs and your hips, tickles your stomach, gropes your chest, and finally, settles a hand across your throat. He purrs and kisses your hair.
âYou make me feel so⌠big,â he growls.
And he makes you feel insignificant. You let out a moan and nod above his knuckle. He squeezes just enough for you to gasp.
âI'm not going to hurt youâŚâ he says, the last of his words dangle unsaid; not like you did me.
You stay still as his thumb presses under your jaw. You can breathe, just barely. He presses his nose into your hair and groans and he pulls himself out of you, just to his tip, then eases back in. You puff out a breath as your hand falls to grip his hips beneath you.
âShhh, baby, you relax,â he coos as he thrusts again, long and slow, as if he knows it's torture, as if he's drawing his vengeance. âFuck, you're so tight around meâŚâ
He continues at the pace. Deliberate and devious. You feel your walls stretch with each plunge into you, your back wracks with tension.
You try to breathe through the torment. You can't as he picks up his tempo, pulling out slow only to snap back into you. His pelvis makes you sore with each dip inside.
The water swirls and splashes as his breath hitches. Your own is trapped as his hand becomes a vice around your neck. You wheeze as he bucks into you from below, jolting your entire body with each thrust. He growls and snarls and sneers as he uses you to his delight. To your horror.
You close your eyes and give in. You go limp as you let him have you. As you try to make yourself feel as good as he does. Why can't it feel nice for you?
You clamp around him as a vision flickers across your eyelids. One that makes you squeak. That has you clutching at Andy's thick wrist, trying to swallow down air.
No, no, you shouldn't, but it feels better with those thoughts. You don't feel so worn out. You feel almost giddy to think of him instead.
You squeeze Andy's arm and a moan escapes his grip. Steve, oh Steve. You see his blue eyes watching you. Feel his hands petting you. Gentle, not rough.
The bathroom disappears and is replaced with a new scene. The leather couch in Dr. Kemp's office. He's there with you, on top of you, holding you. And you like it.
The pressure builds in your core as he writhes with you. As you intertwine in pleasure, working as one, not against each other. You're chest is ready to burst as he pecks along your forehead and cheek, coaxing you as his warm cologne tinges your senses.
âGood girl,â he slithers into your ear.
Something in you snaps. Just like with the toy but better. More intense.
Your eyes open wide and you gasp out as you're swept up in the rolling tide. Your hand drops from Andyâs wrist as you let him choke the words you dare not say. Steve, Steve, SteveâŚ
Your orgasm piques quickly and just as suddenly fizzles out. A glimmer against the gray reality. Your head swells as the pain seeps back in.
You're bad. You're very bad. If Andy knew⌠he can't. You promised not to hurt him again. So you won't let him ever find out.
đ
You work at layering the flat noodles, sauce, and cheese. Lasagne has always been a favourite, Amber's especially. But you can try your best.
The fragrance of tomato and basil waft in the air. You focus on the task. It's easy to appreciate the simple things when there is so much around that's complicated.
As you lay down the last layer of cheese, you check the temperature on the stove. It's not done preheating. You'll have time to wash up a bit.
You rinse the silicon spatula, a pot, a pan, and a bowl. You dry your hands as the stove beeps and reach for the heavy pan of pasta. As you move to put it in the stove, your thighs squeeze together and remind you of the less simple tasks.
You shut the oven door and cling onto the handle and bask in the warmth. You close your eyes. You haven't slept much in the last few days. Each time you try, he wakes you again.
That day couldâve been a renewal. With Andy working again, you have hours to yourself, but when you did try to doze, you were kept awake with dread. You feel yourself cracking again but you won't let it show. Not this time.
You look over at the knife block. Your eyes stick there. You try not to think of blades or their edges on your skin. You shudder and shake your head.
The front door pulls you back. You turn as you hear Andy in the entryway. You rush out to meet him. He puts his bag down and lets you help him out of his coat. As you hang it, his hand wanders under your skirt and he pinches your ass.
âSomething smells good,â he sniffs emphatically.
âLasagne,â you draw away and smile at him.
âMmm,â he hums as he looks at you, âdoveâŚâ he has a devilish twinkle in his eye, âyou know⌠tomorrow is Friday.â
âYes,â you confirm tenuously.
âSo, well⌠would you want to do something special?â
âSpecial?â You echo him, your stomach starting up again.
âIf I asked you a favour⌠it's been a long week, you know, so I was⌠hoping you might take some of the load off,â he explains, âbut it's something fun.â
âOkay?â
âTomorrow, when I get home, will you⌠will you wait for me naked?â His cheeks tint red just sligthly as he smirks guiltily.
You blink as your brows pop up. You didn't expect that. You couldn't even think of something like that.
âI⌠I guess,â you press your sweaty palms to your skirt, âI couldâŚâ
âAnd when I come in, you can undress me too,â he steps close, his hands on your hips, âone piece at a timeâŚâ
âSure,â you eke out.
âAnd you'll kiss me?â
You nod.
âAnd take care of me?â
Another nod.
âYou're so good to me, dove,â he purrs as he cradles your chin, forcing your head up, âI have another surprise for you.â
He lets the statement hover as he kisses you. He sways you as he wraps you up in one arm. His tongue invades your mouth, nearly gagging you, but you're getting better. You don't even murmur as the gross sliminess.
He finally parts and you catch your breath. He bites his lip as he looks you up and down again. He smiles and inhales deeply, his chest rising and falling in content. He tugs on his belt, wiggling his hips as you ignore the bulge in his pants.
He turns and reaches for his bag. He slips his hand into the top and slides a shape out. It's your tablet. He holds it just out of your grasp as he faces you.
âYou've been doing so good. I'm⌠sorry I took it,â he offers it to you. âI was upset and afraid. I know now how much you love me, dove.â
You put your hand on the other side but he doesn't let go. He keeps you deadlocked as he grips the case tight.
âBut you should only talk to Dr. Kemp in session. I think that's best,â he girds.
"I understand,â you try not to rip the tablet away. You can't help but be desperate for it. You haven't drawn in so long.
âGood,â he lets go and you hug the tablet to your chest.
You smile and look down at the top of the case. It's a small victory. Just like the fading bruises on his face.
âHoney,â your heart leaps as you start before you can stop yourself. No, it's too much but you have to ask. While he's happy. âCan⌠can my sister come over? Next week?â
âAmber,â his smile falls in an instant, âI don't know⌠feels too soon.â
âOkay,â you accept. You know better than to argue, âbut eventually?â
His brows lower and his cheek dimples, âhow about we chat with Dr. Kemp about it?â
You could jump! It's not a yes but isn't a no either.
âYes, honey, we can do that,â you recite.
âWeâŚâ he smiles, âwe can.â
#andy barber#dark andy barber#dark!andy barber#andy barber x reader#defending jacob#steve kemp#fresh#au#library au#series#fic#dark!fic#dark fic#don't speak
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Whatâs up with the ties between Sally & Eddie?
There are quite a few - to the point where Iâm starting to suspect that they may be foils, or at least inherently tied together in the story.
First let's bring things back to the clocks. The âdayâ side has an obvious resemblance to Sally, like how the ânightâ side resembles Eddie. Thereâs not really much I can say here since we donât know much more yet, and who knows if this has changed behind the scenes. But just think about that, the rarity of the color purple, night vs day, and the âmonsterâ. Keep it in your head, I think it may be important.Â
Also the fact that Eddie is the only one with a watch, but Sallyâs face has an incredibly similar face on her door.
Obviously Sally has some sort of beef with Eddie, despite him being nothing but friendly and (to our knowledge) being undeserving of it. One thought I entertained was âmaybe Sally is dismissive of him because heâs a worker,â but that holds zero water when you consider how perfectly friendly Sally was with Howdy (karen Sally debunked <3). The second thought I had was âmaybe Sally senses the queer in Eddie and it intimidates herâ - which would make sense if Sally is a lesbian like I suspect. Internalized homophobia, anyone? This holds up if Eddie is going to turn out to be - not open about himself, but comfortable in his skin in a way that, say, Frank isnât. Which I have a feeling that will be the case, which would likely make Sally put on airs even more so than usual.Â
Anyone else seeing a continuous trend of (social) masks and performances unfolding in the Neighborhood? I sure am.
But letâs talk about why I think they might be foils. They balance each other out in an interesting way, despite their only solid similarity being that Both will work/perform no matter the weather. They have a lot of closely related differences:
Eddie has been mentioned (and implied within the story so far) to have a deeper well of knowledge than he lets on, but acts humble about it. Sally has been mentioned (and implied) to know less than she portrays, but acts like a bit of a know-it-all - she pretends to know things that she doesnât.Â
Eddieâs role is about helping others at his own expense, while Sallyâs is using others to reach fame.Â
Eddie strives to connect with his Neighbors and is all about accuracy/precision. Sally is in her own little world and has proved to be more than willing to improvise / not think things through before acting.
Eddie is slow to anger, and Sally is easily irritated.Â
Selfless vs Selfish.
Night vs Day.Â
And to put them in the Johari Window - i believe that Sally resides in the Blind Spot (known to others, not known to self), and Eddie resides in either the Facade (not known to others, known to self) OR the Unknown (not known to others, not known to self). Personally Iâm starting to believe that Eddie may reside in both.Â
Itâs far too early to draw any real conclusions, and theorizing on all of this is difficult. I feel as though - as usual - we have puzzle pieces but no frame of reference for the way they fit together, what picture they build. And who knows, tomorrowâs update may shred this to ribbons, but I doubt it.Â
One thought I had was that theyâre in cahoots about something - it doesnât have to be something malicious or some sort of secret plot, it could simply be something they both know and are trying to keep quiet about. Eddie is trying to connect with Sally since they have this in common, but Sally is actively putting distance between them to preserve their secret / plausible deniability. Do I actually believe this? Meh. Iâm just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.
So current base thoughts: Sally is dismissive of Eddie either because he intimidates/scares her on an internalized level, or sheâs actively trying to put distance between them for a currently unknown reason. Thereâs probably a secret third option I havenât even considered!
#she's just so fascinatingly dismissive of him in a way she isn't with anyone else#she exclusively calls him 'mailman' she brushes him off when he tries to talk about her halloween costume-#i bet if anyone else has so much as Mentioned the word 'pedrolino' sally would be on them abt it#much like how barnaby had to Escape a convo w/ her bc she was that passionate#so what is it with eddie... why does she feel so strongly about him in such a negative way...#ITS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT <3#there is so much to unpack there i feel but i dont have the right scissors yet...#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#man i feel so bad for eddie#he's trying to be friendly!!! he's trying to be her friend so hard!!! MAN.#i suspect that if eddie snaps in some way (he probably will) it will likely be in relation to sally#bc no one else treats him that way. like. even like... howdy keeps up an amicable pretense#but sally is straight up out here treating him like a pack mule named 'mailman' and brushing him off with obvious disinterest/frustration#LIKE DAMN. GIRL. WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS#i love it. its fascinating. i cant wait to see how that unfolds
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Restless âTil We Reach Home
A Lamb in Wolfâs Clothing (ch. 2)
AN: The long awaited second chapter & thunder saga is heeeere! I was getting ready to post it but stopped in my tracks when the thunder saga trailer dropped & realized how close it was & I knew what I had to do. Gotta say, Odysseus is real mean in this one. But hey, at least Hermes is there to balance it out!
Ch. 1 Ch. 3
Polites felt as though he really needed to clear the air with Odysseus, but where to even start?
The captain was nowhere in sight, so he floated around the deck in search of him. He was still trying to get used to his new way of travel, but he liked to think he was getting the hang of it pretty well.
In the underworld, he couldn't fly. Then again, that was a place made for people like him. It was meant as a bastardized recreation of home, to provide the comfort of solid ground and company.
Polites thought back to Hades, and how despite how horrible he thought he looked, there was always someone around the corner who was worse. He had gotten used to the gruesome sights after a while. And as awful as it was to say, seeing them kept him humble. Because yes, things were bad, but at least he didn't have his entrails dragging behind him. Eurydice was one of the few who looked just as beautiful in death as she did in life.
Eurydice...
He wondered how she was holding up. It'd been hours for him since he'd left, but for her, who knows? Had only seconds passed, leaving her on the bank as she wondered what awaited him? Or had it already been a day, the loneliness beginning to set in? Even with the perspective of the real world, Polites found it difficult to gauge the passage of time down there. So wherever she was, however long it had been, he hoped she was doing well.
The sun was getting lower in the sky, inching towards the horizon. It would be dark soon. For now, the light shifted, reflecting off the clouds in vibrant golds and orangey pinks. It was the first sunset of his new life, signaling an end of an era and a new dawn on its way.
Night fell quickly, enveloping them in a blanket of stars and darkness. Polites looked for the moon in the sky, but it was nowhere to be found. Ah, a new moon.
If you were to ask him, he would say that the moonless sky was just as beautiful as a full moon night. He'd started various debates about it with other soldiers, encouraging them to just hear him out. Of course the full moon is beautiful, he never said it wasn't! The new moon may lack her silvery glow, but doesn't her absence make it all the more beautiful when she comes back? The darkness on nights like these provide the most clarity, offering to you all the stars you could ever wish to see.
Most people thought the night sky was only black, but oh how wrong they were. These are the impatient ones: those who never allow their eyes the time to adjust before they give up, going on about their night. But when you lay back and just allow yourself to study the canvas before you, the work of art will reveal itself with bold blues, greens, purples, and yes, even pinks.
Polites floated on his back, hovering mere inches above the deck as he stared up at the sky. By the Gods, how he'd missed it.
He didn't know he'd been crying until he heard heavy steps coming up the stairs, and he frantically wiped them away. He sat up just in time to see who was approaching.
Odysseus let out a startled yelp when he saw his friend's crumpled form lying on the deck, just as he looked before he died.
"Dear Zeus, you scared the shit out of me. What the hell are you still doing here?" he snapped, keeping his distance.
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you, Captain," he said earnestly. "I-I was just watching the stars. It's such a beautiful night..." he mused, gaze turning upwards once more.
"I didn't mean why are you out here. I mean why didn't you go back to where you belong?" Odysseus asked in a harsh growl.
The warm, soft smile that had found his face was gone in an instant, "W-What?"
"If you're really Polites, you should be in the underworld. Isn't that right?" he cocked his head to the side, taking a threatening step forward.
Polites stared at him in complete and utter shock. "Odysseus... Why would you say such a thing?"
"Answer the question."
"I WAS IN THE UNDERWORLD! You were in the underworld! But- we made it out, together-"
"No, you stowed away," he clarified harshly. "There's a difference." He had backed Polites against the rail, continuing to advance until he was so close, their noses were almost touching.
"I-I thought you'd be happy to see me again!" he cried defensively. There was a flash of sadness, of forlorn longing across Odysseus's face, but it was gone in an instant. Polites continued, "I know I sure was... until you opened your mouth."
Odysseus scowled, "If you really are Polites... and I seriously fucking doubt it, then you have no idea what we've all been through since you left. So I don't much care for your holier than thou judgment."
Holier than thou-
"Is that what you think of me?" he asked, genuine hurt laced in his voice. "That I thought I was better than you?" His voice began to tremble, but he fought against it, although his words still came out in a wavering rasp through his weakened vocal cords. "Because I would never think that." He couldn't believe he actually had to tell him this...
Odysseus didn't speak for a long moment. Despite their close proximity, Polites had never felt farther away from his friend.
"I don't know what to think anymore."
Polites shook his head, eyes flying wide open. "No! Odysseus, you know me! You know better than to think that!" Said man rolled his head to the side, glaring at him from the corner of his eyes.
"Do I now?"
"You should..."
Another long stretch of silence. The only sound was the gentle breeze catching in the closed sails, swaying them about and flapping the fabric. Small waves lapped at the hull of the ship, creating a soothing sloshing sound.
"Yeah well, like I said. Things have changed." He inhaled deeply, letting out a long, suffering sigh. "I really wish I could believe you," he said, eyes closed as he addressed him. He shook his head, the movement barely noticeable. "But I just can't."
"But you can!" Polites reached out instinctively to hold his hand, but Odysseus jerked his arm away before he could. And then he noticed the way he was staring at him, as if he was some kind of threat- some kind of monster.
The captain quickly schooled his emotions, taking a moment to himself before addressing Polites.
"So... what made you follow us?" he finally asked. A hopeful smile broke out on the spirit's face. Maybe he could convince him to see the truth through the haze of paranoia.
"Honestly, it wasn't my idea, but my friend down there, she told me I needed to go. A-and I thought... just maybe... you were looking for me," he admitted shyly, staring at the ground. He didn't like the way he could see through his own feet to the deck below.
Odysseus let out a shaky breath. "I knew it..." This was it!
"You really aren't the Polites I knew."
And just like that, the world came crashing down on him. His eyes were welling with tears fast.
"H-ho-how can you even say that?" he asked as he slowly sank to the floor.
"Because Polites wouldn't be so stupid as to think I'd risk the lives of my crew to rescue a dead man!" he screamed, spit flying from his lips with the passion of his outburst.
Polites took a step back: through the railing. He held his hands out in front of him, as if to protect him. But there's nothing to be protected from anymore. Nothing except the newfound cruelty of his old friend.
Tears threatened to spill over, but he blinked them away, shaking his head frantically. "Nonono, you don't really mean that. Y-you're just upset! Odysseus, please tell me you didn't mean it like that," he all but pleaded.
Odysseus opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself short. He tried once more, but all he could muster was a simple, "I'm sorry." He hesitated before turning his back on him, marching off to patrol the ship.
Polites was left floating there, completely heartbroken by his reaction. Never in a million years would he have expected the venom shooting from Odysseus's mouth to be aimed at him of all people.
Polites let himself fade from reality, disappearing completely as he drifted up towards the crows nest. It had always been the most peaceful place on the ship, and tonight was no exception.
He floated on until he reached the top, sitting down in the tightest ball he could manage. He buried his face in his knees as sobs completely wracked his body.
Why would he say such horrible things? He knew he couldn't even begin to fathom how their journey's gone up until now, but it was hard to believe it would prompt such a dramatic change.
But the alternative; the idea that he had never truly know Odysseus, was a far worse thought.
He looked up at the dozens and dozens of stars stretching before him from every which way. He felt as if he were flying, falling up, spiraling out of control towards them. Would he be falling for an eternity? Or would the stars catch him in their net, allowing the darkness to swallow him whole and consume his soul?
How wonderful it must be, turning to stardust.
"Oh Eurydice... you were wrong. I never should've left." His voice was weak and strangled as he spoke, just as it had been in his final moments. He gasped through his sobs, swallowing the snot that rolled down his throat, making him shudder. His whole body shook with convulsions as he cried.
"They don't w-want me a-around anymore. I'm nothing b-but a f-freak to them," he spoke barely above a whisper, frantically wiping away tears and blood. He hung his head low in defeat and shame, "I should've just stayed in Hades with you."
"And she's what? Girlfriend, friend, come on fill me in," an unexpected voice rudely interrupted. Polites screeched in surprise, turning visible once more as he whipped around to meet the intruder. How the hell did someone climb up without a sound?
"If you'd like, I'll even give her a little message from you," the strange man smirked wider, twirling his long curly hair around a finger. Polites gasped and looked down to the man's feet just to be sure, and just as he thought: wings.
"Hermes? I-I'm sorry, but uh, what are you doing here, exactly?" he asked, his previous breakdown quickly replaced with confusion. Something he did not appreciate. He wanted, no needed to cry after all that. But even the Gods wanted him to suffer, it would seem.
"Well excuse you! Taking a page from the captain's book, I take?" he taunted before bursting into a fit of giggles. Polites stiffened and glared at the God.
"No. I'm just trying to mind my own business, can't you do the same?" he huffed, crossing his arms across his chest. Hermes squinted in the dark and gasped when he recognized the man before him.
"You're his little dead friend, aren't you? The one that used to be cute," he clarified in a teasing manner.
Used to be cute... That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Hermes froze, mostly out of fear, when he first saw tears. "Um, what are you doing? Stop that," Hermes ordered, sitting on the edge of the crows nest. Polites looked at him in utter disbelief.
"I'm crying Hermes, what's it look like?" he snapped, and true enough, tears were once again rolling down his cheeks.
"Well, it's not a good look. Nope, doesn't suit you at all, really," he mused, looking the mortal up and down. Polites chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to be patient as he continued to glare.
"Oh really? And what, pray tell, would suit a face like this?" Polites asked bitterly, pointing at himself as he blinked back more tears.
"A smile, for one!" Hermes cheered, plopping down next to Polites and throwing an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close. Polites squirmed and shoved him away angrily.
"Leave me alone! I don't want to smile, okay? There's nothing to smile about! And you know what? Yeah, I'll say it! I was happier in the underworld!" Polites screamed, not caring how loud he was. In fact, he hoped a certain captain with his head up his ass heard him. He hoped the guilt ate him alive.
Polites hated the fact that he didn't really feel that way, that he was self aware enough to know it was just his anger talking. Because once it blows over, he'll be the one wracked with guilt.
Hermes reeled back from his words, a hand flying up to cover his mouth as he gasped in shock.
"Oh Polites, you shouldn't say such a thing! I mean, what if the Gods themselves heard you? Ahahaha!" he threw his head back, cackling at his own joke.
"I don't care anymore! Clearly I don't belong here! I-I should've just stayed..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was such a touchĂŠ subject," Hermes apologized, seemingly meaning it. Polites remained skeptical. "But I'm truly shocked by your little outburst. You were always the happy one, were you not? So what's changed?"
"Everything!" Polites cried. "Are you blind? How can you not see that everything's gone to shit?"
"Careful now, don't forget who you're talking to," he warned through pursed lips, trying to hide his growing amusement.
Polites sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry Hermes, sir, but I don't really care right now."
Hermes shook his head, a small frown etching its way onto his face. "Oh my, this really is worse than I thought," he muttered to himself, resting a hand on his cheek. Polites couldn't help but roll his eyes and turn away.
"Tell me something I don't know..."
Hermes sighed, staring at the back of his head with pity. "Odysseus can be... stubborn at the best of times. He'll come back around. You just have to show him that same, chipper, adorable Polites he knows and loves," he tried to encourage him.
"But that didn't work..." he said, voice shy and meek.
"Oh! Um, well then... keep at it!" he chirped, slapping a hand on his back.
Polites was more than ready to tell him to get lost, but the touch on his back stole away all of his attention. He turned to meet Hermes face to face, eyes wide in a mix of shock and excitement.
"How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
Polites gestured at him wildly. "You just touched me! I mean like, actually touched me! I thought that was impossible!" Hermes opened his mouth to speak, but he rambled on, "Is that a God thing? Or can-"
"Shh, if you'll let me answer, I'll tell you!" he said before breaking off into giggles. Polites quickly shut up, hanging on his every word.
"It all comes down to intent. And, it works both ways. Here, shake my hand," he explained, offering holding it out for him to take. Polites looked at him skeptically before reaching out.
He tried to grasp his hand in his own, but phased completely through. "This is hopeless!" he whined in defeat. Hermes whistled and smacked him upside the head.
"Ow!" Polites yelped and flinched away, rubbing his head, more for show than anything. Hermes rolled his eyes at the dramatics.
"Oh please, I know that didn't hurt. Quit whining and try again." Polites grumbled under his breath, growing frustrated when he phased through once more.
"Try harder."
"I am!" he growled before taking a grounding breath. He tried again, and this time his hand firmly clasped around Hermes's wrist. A bright smile lit up his face as he met his gaze, "I-I did it!"
"Yeees, congratulations... You can let go now..." he prompted with a smirk.
"Sorry!" he immediately let go, yanking his arm back as if he'd been burned. Hermes chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"You're lucky it's me," he teased, breaking off into even more laughter. Polites couldn't help but giggle along with the infectious sound.
"I guess I am... So uh, t-thanks, for all that. I needed it."
"Desperately so," Hermes agreed. "But I single handedly saved the day, so you're welcome."
Polites snorted, "I wouldn't go that far, but you did make me feel a little better." Hermes cocked his head with an exaggerated pout.
"Aww, just a little? Are you sure about that?" he asked, and before he could answer, Hermes reached up to flutter a few fingers under his chin. Polites scrunched his neck with a barely choked back giggle, and the look he gave the messenger God was priceless. Hermes burst into hysterical giggles, flashing a sly grin his way, "Like I said Polites, it all comes down to intent."
He fished around in his bag, pulling out a gold drachma. "Catch," he said, tossing the coin his way. Polites reached out, snatching it in the air. Hermes gave an impressed grin, nodding in approval. "I expect you to practice. 'Til we meet again, ta-ta!" he waved farewell, hopping up on the edge of the crows nest and stepped off backwards. He swooped up in a backflip, definitely showing off as he flew away.
Polites stared at the coin in his hand, smiling softly. Maybe things would turn out okay.
~~~
Things always seemed better in the morning, Polites told himself. In the light of day, he would have a fresh start, a unique perspective. He just needed everyone else to come to terms with their new normal. So he went about the day like any other, floating down to the deck when the crew was called for breakfast.
He saw the few men spread out across two long mess tables, and he quickly spotted Eurylochus. He smirked and turned invisible, making his way over to him. He waited until he reached for his glass, and Polites placed his hand atop the cup, preventing it from being lifted.
Eurylochus stared at the cup with furrowed brows, giving it another tug. It barely budged under his hold. He looked around the table at the men around him, wondering if they had something to do with this. A few began to take notice and were just as confused as he was.
"Having a bit of trouble this morning?" Elpenor teased from across the table.
"Haha very funny," he said sarcastically, tugging on his glass one more time. Polites didn't fight back, and water splashed right in his friend's face. Anyone seated around Eurylochus had ended up in the splash zone as well.
The men who got drenched cried out angrily while everyone else erupted in wild laughter, and Polites joined them. But his laugh was loud and distinct, and a sound Eurylochus knew all too well.
He froze looked around the room, glaring at thin air. "Polites? Was that you?" he dared to ask. The unruly crowd suddenly grew silent, unsure if they wanted an answer. Then, a fork launched off of a plate, spinning in the air before it clattered to the table. Excited screams and cries broke out as some gathered around the fork, while the rest scattered as far away as possible.
"You think it really is him?"
"He answered us, didn't he?"
"Yeah, but what if it's a trick?"
"You're all playing with fire!
Not everyone was swayed, but it certainly planted the idea in their minds.
Polites liked pulling off these small, ghostly pranks. Mostly because, to him, it felt like magic. Just focus, and you can turn invisible. Focus even harder, and you can make things move. He had his favorite tricks of course: a self rowing oar, a lone mop swabbing the deck, but the funniest thing was when he'd hold something behind someone, only to hide it as soon as they turned around. And his audience seemed more than amused by all of this.
Up until the moment he decides to show his face again. Then it's all hushed whispers and adverted gazes, even from his best friends.
Elpenor frantically looked around his room for his other sandal. It had just been there a second ago, but now only one remained.
"O-okay, very funny. Now give it back," he demanded. He gasped and went stiff when he felt the mattress sink next to him, as if someone sat next to him. The temperature shifted.
"Looking for this?"
Elpenor chanced a glance in his direction. His missing sandal dangled from a mostly transparent hand. He gulped.
"Yes."
He reached for his shoe, but it was yanked out of reach at the last second, and again when he made another grab for it.
"Give it!"
"Then look at me!"
The request took Elpenor off guard. Polites sounded... desperate and sad. He had to look, no matter what the captain said. He wasn't here anyways.
He hesitated, but ultimately caved and looked at Polites. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this.
Polites was smirking at him, a warm look in his glazed eyes. Yeah, he didn't look the same, but he still looked like himself. A sob caught in Elpenor's throat.
He snatched his sandal without warning, quickly lacing them up before rushing out of the room.
~~~
"I don't get it Eurylochus. Are they really that afraid of me?" Polites asked after five days of strategic avoidance from everyone on board. He took a deep breath, thinking about how he'd answer the question.
"Maybe so." Polites scoffed and looked him up and down.
"Are you afraid of me?" he asked, deciding to put him on the spot. He stiffened, keeping his gaze trained on the floor, and he didn't speak. Polites deflated, "I knew it."
"Polites, trust me, it isn't like that," he tried in vein to reassure him.
"Oh please. None of you can even look at me," he hissed through clenched teeth.
"Have you even seen yourself?" Eurylochus barked back, going on the defensive immediately. Polites floated a little lower to the ground, bottom lip trembling.
"Polites, wait-"
"No, no, I get it. I wouldn't want me around either."
Eurylochus had to force himself not to roll his eyes at the theatrics on display. This was typical for Odysseus, but Polites?
"I didn't mean it like that."
He looked up at him, and for the first time outside of battle, Eurylochus saw him look truly upset.
"There's not many other ways to take it, Eurylochus..."
Neither dared to speak for a long time. Polites took a shaky breath and finally broke the silence. "I guess I'll be seeing you around. But... you don't have to worry about seeing me," his voice sounded weak and strangled.
"Wait I'm-" Eurylochus spun around to stop his friend, but he was left alone on the deck. "Sorry..." he finished lamely, dropping his arm by his side.
He flinched when a hand squeezed his shoulder, but immediately relaxed after the initial surprise.
"It's okay, really. I-I think it's for the best if no one sees me for a while," he said, and despite being invisible, Eurylochus could hear the emotion in his voice.
"Are you sure?"
"M-mhm. I think if I stay, it'll just make things worse."
Eurylochus stared at the empty space the voice was coming from. "If you say so..." he reluctantly caved.
Barely anyone had seen Polites since. Sure, he made his presence known in other ways, and most of the crew seemed better off for it. But that's what hurt the most: he'd been right. Eurylochus was wracked with guilt, knowing it was their own reactions that drove him away. Even worse still, their captain didn't seem to care at all. In fact, it only seemed to upset him more with every interaction Polites attempted.
He stood behind Odysseus as he steered the ship. The men were gathered below deck for meal time, leaving the two of them alone for a rare moment.
"I know you're there."
"You should go down there. You need to eat too, y'know."
Odysseus couldn't help but roll his eyes. "What, and let you take the wheel?" Polites furrowed his brows.
"Would that really be so bad? I handled her plenty of times!"
"No, the real Polites did!" he snapped. For once, Polites snapped back, refusing to back down.
"I AM THE REAL POLITES!" he screamed, on the verge of tears. Odysseus merely gave him a cold, empty stare.
"Maybe if you were the first one we ran into down there, I could believe you," he admitted in defeat. There was something a softness behind his eyes that hadn't been there before, his shoulders heavy with grief.
"What will it take?"
"Huh?"
"Tell me what it'll take to prove myself," he pleaded.
They stared at each other for a long moment, seconds passing by in silence. "I don't think you can."
Polites refused to let it end like this.
"Your favorite color is red," he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Odysseus froze and turned to face him, a puzzled expression in place. He locked eyes with him and continued, "And your favorite food is Penelope's stew with fresh baked bread."
By now, Odysseus knew what he was trying to do, so he quickly closed his eyes in hopes of drowning him out. "Don't."
"You have a mole on your shoulder that looks like a comet, a-and you like sunsets more than sunrises, and you used to go pick flowers for Penelo-"
"Please, for the love of the Gods, just shut up!" he cut him off harshly. Polites snapped his mouth shut, obeying the command. Odysseus slowly opened his eyes and stared at his friend. "Why are you doing this to me?" he asked as tears finally spilled down his cheeks.
"I just want you to believe me," Polites insisted. Odysseus shook his head.
"I told you, I can't-"
"WHAT WILL IT TAKE?" he repeated, voice straining against crushed vocal chords. He was crying, and he didn't care if he was shouting. "You say you can't believe me, but you don't give me a fucking reason! And you won't tell me how I can win your trust back, and I just- I don't know what you want from me."
Odysseus thought long and hard about his answer. "I wish I could tell you."
"Then why don't you?" he pleaded.
Odysseus avoided looking directly at him, choosing instead to stare at a crack in the wall just over his shoulder. It was insulting how he thought Polites wouldn't notice.
"I don't know." Then, as if to add insult to injury, he marched straight ahead, walking right through Polites. It was just another way for Odysseus to assert the fact that he wasn't really "there." To prove to himself that he was right. And that hurt more than it had any right to.
But he was nothing if not persistent. When it became clear that Odysseus wasn't looking for a conversation, he thought maybe a few light hearted pranks were just what he needed to jog his memory, to open his fucking eyes and see that he was right there.
Polites could've sworn he saw him smile when he noticed the way he was making his cape billow behind him. The old Odysseus was still in there somewhere, no matter how hard he may be hiding.
But he was still more than skeptical.
~~~
Odysseus was making his way down to his quarters when he felt someone step on the back of his sandal. He turned around in annoyance, ready to chew out the culprit, but he was alone. He thought nothing of it and continued on his way. Then it happened again.
Odysseus sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back. "That you?" he asked in a disgruntled tone.
"What, can't even say my name?" he sassed in order to hide his true nerves when confronting his friend. He appeared behind him, arms crossed.
"Not sure it's really yours to say," he countered easily, the retort sliding off his tongue with ease. The smile he flashed him was cocky and vindictive; nothing like the way he used to grin at him.
Polites decided to go out on a limb and risk it, "Why are you so adamant it's not me?"
"Because if something's too good to be true, it is. But you know all about that, don't you?" he spat, words laced with poison. No, no, there was no way he was talking about that.
"Captain? What do you mean?"
"Oh I think you know," he said darkly. Polites didn't dare to answer. He only shook his head.
"The sheep, Polites. I'm talking about the sheep."
Polites couldn't believe his ears. He sucked in a sharp, shuttering breath in shock. "A-are you trying to say it's my fault that I was killed?" he asked in complete and utter disbelief.
"... If that's how you wanna take it."
He had no hope of fighting off the tears welling in his eyes.
"H-how can you be so- so cruel? It was a mistake!" he pleaded.
"Yeah? Well that mistake cost you your life! And not just your life! You think you can greet world with open arms, but you just can't. Only the strongest survive. And that's why I'm still here, and you're not."
The tears rolled fat and heavy down his cheeks, drawing clean streaks through the blood and grime smeared on his face.
"I-if that's how you r-really f-feel, then fine! B-be that way!" Polites was a blubbering mess as he tried to speak, and he couldn't stand it. He balled his hands into fists by his sides, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as possible. "Y-you'll never have to see me again, if that's what you really want!" he screamed back, allowing his own hurt and anger to boil out of him.
"Good!" Odysseus snapped, completely exasperated.
Polites was frozen in shock. "I don't even know you anymore..." he whispered, mostly to himself. Odysseus glared harder before he turned his back on him, marching down the hall to his cabin and slammed the door behind him. Polites was left alone in the room, feeling hollow and hurt.
Polites took a shaky breath. Why bother to fight a losing battle?
~~~
If barely anyone had seen Polites in the days prior, then he must have made himself truly scarce after his last confrontation with the captain. The playful, if unexplained, shenanigans were no more, and the crew fell back into their monotonous routine.
But remaining invisible for so long takes its toll, and he needs his moments of peace and quiet. And so, the crew took notice of the man sitting alone in the crows nest, his presence never faltering. At least this way, he can still be of some use to the crew while completely isolating himself.
By now, Polites hadn't moved from the crows nest in over a week. Even his practice with the coin was getting weaker. He sat with his knees pressed to his chest, desperately trying to shove the drachma across the planks. His finger phased through, making no impact on the piece of gold.
"How have you possibly gotten more pathetic than the last time we met?"
Fucking great.
#restless til we reach home#epic fic#epic#epic the musical#epic musical#epic the thunder saga#ghost!polites#polites#odysseus#eurylochus#elpenor#hermes
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The day Thomas Muller became a national hero in Colombia (South America)
Because of my husband Thomas Muller's NT retirement, I decided to remember that time when he became an icon in this unknown third-world country~
Storytime~
Get something to eat because here comes my longest post ever and one of my favorite things to ever happen in this hellhole <3
No introduction is needed for the 2014 World Cup. So let's just skip to the good part. One of the breakthrough teams was Colombia, a humble but passionate team, they were having their best run so far, and literally everyone in the country wanted them to go as far as possible.
In a country where literally every day the government makes you hate every part of living here, the NT is always a beacon of joy to make us feel proud of being Colombian. And even more now, that we had the Best goal of the match and the Top scorer of the whole tournament.
After an amazing run against teams like Uruguay and Ivory Coast, the day came, when we had to play against Brazil. I don't know how it was perceived in the rest of the world, but here in South America, almost everyone knew Brazil was winning the whole thing, even with rumors of the WC being fixed to favor them (ofc rumors or not but still).
In the Colombia V Brazil match, 3 important things happened.
Neymar was Injured
Thiago Silva was suspended via accumulation of yellow cards
And the catalyst of this story
3. An equalizer Goal from Mario Yepes was mistakenly determined as offside and annulled.
Due to this last event, Colombia was automatically eliminated without the chance of going to penalties.
THIS is Colombia's Traumaâ˘, you can ask any of us. We even have a popular saying we use to this day because of this 'Era gol de Yepes' (Like saying that goal was always legit). But we weren't sad. We were infuriated. We demanded vengeance, we wanted vengeance (We're way too passionate about this, what do you want me to say).
After that, yeah, there were the other quarterfinals, whatever, we didn't care. All of us were waiting for the Germany V Brazil and due to the rumors I spoke about before, we were very scared of Germany losing.
As an important note here, while we were very angry, a very good portion of the Colombians just dropped the whole thing due to idk post-elimination depression. On a personal note, never in my life did I see my country in such silence. I went out to visit my family and the capital had the most depressing silence I've ever experienced. When I tell you this WC meant the world to us I was very serious, a lot of Colombians went to Brazil in buses or walking to see the matches, and some even slept on the streets or stuff like that to keep on supporting.
So, the day of the Germany V Brazil match arrived, and oh boy we didn't have an idea.
At this point, very few of us were still watching the tournament. In the beginning, they were very balanced... And then the game started.
We already knew what happened in that legendary game so let me just tell you the story from our point of view. All of Colombia was rooting for Germany, we wanted, no, we needed Germany to win. Brazil started attacking first so we were quite nervous.
Then a certain player bested Brazil's clueless defenses and scored the first one for Germany.
Everyone was celebrating as if it was our own country, we started calling other people to turn on the TV, our family, neighbors, everyone. The stores and cafeterias tuned the match to see the ones that (in our eyes) did us so wrong, get humiliated by such a great team.
Of course, almost no one knew who this guy was, but Javier HernĂĄndez (the most popular commentator here) felt exactly the same as everyone else and loved every second of that first goal, making sure every single Colombian heard this player's name loud and clear, the one that avenged us. Thomas Muller.
Here you can hear what all of us heard that day: (Turn on audio to witness the insanity)
(Sorry for the quality of the video, I know it's ass but this was a recording from a fan from a TV 10 years ago lol)
Then the goals came one after another, and the rest is history. But to us it was special, we celebrated as if it was our own country. Here are some comments from Colombians:
T: Thanks for avenging us Germany
T: Forbidden to forget this match, when all of us were German for 90Min, Thanks! (Germany x4 Trophies) I'll never get over him and neither any colombian, Thomas Muller 7-1 / 8-2
T: Muller 2014: 7-1 Muller 2020: 8-2 He's always in every historic scoring in football
T: In that match All of Colombia was Germany
And like those you can find hundreds and hundreds. The day after the match we kept on celebrating, the memes were everywhere, especially one where James (our star player) called Thomas and asked him to score against Brazil (ofc that never happened, was a silly meme that reflected the general feeling). Also, I clearly remember the news and variety shows on national channels opening their broadcast greeting in German (or at least trying lol). It was so funny and at the end, we received our NT and celebrated their progress and Germany won the cup.
Pretty much a happy ending for everyone.
#third world countries are a very fun place to live in#i swear#and its 2 am i'll go to sleep I had so much fun doing this long ass post that no one's gonna read#sometimes it be like that#idc i loved every second of putting this together#thomas muller#fc bayern#germany nt#thomas mĂźller#colombia#world cup 2014#brazil
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It's important to have boundaries, to recognize the moment when it's too much and step away from what's harmful. However, having boundaries doesn't justify hatred. Negative emotions are a bond that we should get rid of too. Otherwise, they'll continue to disturb our peace. ~ Maat
Mask of Ma'at : The God of Justice --Mahaboka
The following Ideals were sought by the Egyptians to become one with Ma'at and the balance of cosmic order to assure their passage into the afterlife:
The 42 Ideals of Maâat
1. I honor virtue
2. I benefit with gratitude
3. I am peaceful
4. I respect the property of others
5. I affirm that all life is sacred
6. I give offerings that are genuine
7. I live in truth
8. I regard all altars with respect
9. I speak with sincerity
10. I consume only my fair share
11. I offer words of good intent
12. I relate in peace
13. I honor animals with reverence
14. I can be trusted
15. I care for the earth
16. I keep my own council
17. I speak positively of others
18. I remain in balance with my emotions
19. I am trustful in my relationships
20. I hold purity in high esteem
21. I spread joy
22. I do the best I can
23. I communicate with compassion
24. I listen to opposing opinions
25. I create harmony
26. I invoke laughter
27. I am open to love in various forms
28. I am forgiving
29. I am kind
30. I act respectfully of others
31. I am accepting
32. I follow my inner guidance
33. I converse with awareness
34. I do good
35. I give blessings
36. I keep the waters pure
37. I speak with good intent
38. I praise the Goddess and the God
39. I am humble
40. I achieve with integrity
41. I advance through my own abilities
42. I embrace the All
These Laws command our love and respect for the life, dignity and Goddess-given rights of all living things, as well as imposing upon us divine obligations and duties toward them, and our precious planet. By their observance we reflect the light upon the world, fusing virtue with justice, and aligning individual rights with righteousness.
These ancient ideals were created to apply to everyone regardless of belief system. There was no concept of religious bias in ancient Egypt. People strived to live a good life in accordance to these ideals of truth, balance, order, law, morality, and justice. The 42 Ideals of Ma'at are valuable passages of history that are as viable today as they were 5,000 years ago.
The 42 principles of Ma'at existed thousands of years before the Jewish Torah, the Christians Bible, and the Muslim Qur'an.
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