#we just got a paper sign on the door saying stay home and a dream

[nina-ya]

Healthcare can be shitty sometimes please remember we are doing our best and to be kind to the workers especially if they are doing everything they can to help you !!!

[oo-delallymrcrow]

Rehearsal

A/N: alright I caved. After only reading about this man for two days I wrote a story about him. This man has a choke hold on my life that I'd didn't think was possible but here we are....

Anyway, this is pre-war Cooper x reader. It is really fluffy but suggestive at the end. Forgive me I wrote it in five hours, haven't slept, and didn't really edit so if there's any mistakes that's why.

Plot: Cooper has feelings for reader. It really comes forward about how he feels and she feels for him when they rehearse a movie together.

Cooper Howard leaned against the railing of the porch of the house that was the backdrop to this scene, his gaze tracing the lights and people milling about. It was the perfect backdrop for the movie he'd been dreaming of – a tale of love, loss, and redemption. Ever since the divorce, it's been hard on Cooper with trying to take care of Janey and still go through with his career. That's why he was so glad to have you as his co-star.

A little more than a co-star more as a friend. Y/N has been with him through the whole divorce with Barbara. She was by his side as he sat and signed the papers. Crying with him as he did. Helping with getting Janey and watching her when he worked late. He always apologized and tried to pay her but she would never accept the money.

 “It really is no problem Cooper.” She would smile sweetly at him as she gave him some supper that she made that night. “I've told you time and time again; I love Janey like she was my own. Now eat before I hear another rumble from that stomach.”

He smiled at the memory. She was always taking care of them both. Even when Janey was staying with her mother, she still came over, offering dinner and some beer. Then staying the night just to talk. He would offer his bed for her when she started yawning and seeing that sleepy smile on her face. 

“I can't take your bed Coop. I'll just go home and sleep in my own”

“Now darlin’ what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you drive home at this hour? No ma'am, you take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch.”

She smiled, and he swore his heart skipped a bit as she did. 

“Alright but just because it would be rude after you offered so kindly.”

He smiled and led her to his room. He grabbed an undershirt and some pajama pants for her. 

Her brows scrunched in confusion as she smiled at him.

“Don't want you sleeping in your dress sweetheart. It might wrinkle,” he winked at her as she giggled and took the clothes from him. Her fingers brushing over his sent a red hue to her cheeks.

His heart skipped a beat again as she took the clothes and looked at him through her lashes. He cleared his throat after what felt like an hour as they stared at each other.

“Night sweetheart,” he whispered as he walked through the doorway, starting to close the door behind him.

“Night Coop,” she whispered back. 

He smiled at her before letting it shut.

There were a few nights when they would talk for hours and he would wake up on the couch with Y/N in his arms. He would smile and brush her hair back as he stared at her and wonder if he could do this every night.

‘I would like to.’ He would think when this happened. ‘It would be nice for him to have someone here all the time to keep him company. And Janey already has taken a shine to her.’

He would run his fingers through her hair as she sighed in her sleep and tucked her head under his chin, curling into him like she belonged there. He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

‘Yeah, I want to have her be with me.’

Now whenever she came over that's all he could think about. How perfect she looked cooking in his kitchen. Helping put Janey to bed, telling her a bedtime story and a sweet little goodnight. How he would think about whenever she stayed the night that they could just share the bed. How he should say fuck it and kiss her. But he was a gentleman and a recent divorcé and now her fucking co-star. Like that doesn't make his feelings for her grow more.

She got the female lead role and that meant she was a love interest. His love interest, to be specific. She was so excited about working with him and Cooper loved it too. That meant more of getting to see her. But that also meant scenes that would be romantic which made his heart want to explode out of his chest.

Speaking of which, this scene that they were doing was a romantic scene. Where his character, an old cowboy whose wife and son were murdered by an outlaw, confessed his love to Y/N's character, the daughter of the mayor who turned out to be the outlaw. It was a weird ride of emotions for Cooper after everything he's been through. But by god didn't you look pretty in your costume.

Speaking of you, Y/N stepped onto the set, her presence like a burst of sunshine amidst the filming chaos. With her effortless grace and magnetic aura, she embodied her character. Destined to capture Cooper's heart on screen. 

‘And on set.’ He thought as he flashed her a smile as she walked toward him with a wide grin.

"Hey, Coop," Y/N greeted, her voice carrying a hint of excitement. "Ready to bring this scene to life?"

Cooper turned to her, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Absolutely sweetheart. Let's make magic."

That blush returned on her cheeks and it made Cooper feel a little giddy at her reaction whenever he called her that. He has been flirting with her a little more since the night he woke to them cuddling on the couch. He felt like he was able to have a second chance and by god was he going to take it. If Y/N wanted him though, that was one thing he wasn't sure of, yet.

They took their positions, the script pages fluttering in the breeze. As the cameras rolled, Cooper and Aurora slipped effortlessly into their characters, their chemistry igniting the air like fireworks on a summer night.

“Well if it isn't Mr. McLintock. What has you snooping around here? Gonna get my momma arrested next?”

Cooper smiled at the stern look on Y/N's face. She was really good with this character and Cooper loved the little quips they had improvised with their dialogue.

“Now easy there darlin’,” he drawled, raising a hand as Y/N raised the prop rifle to him. “I'm not here for anyone else. Well, not your momma at least.”

Her eyebrow raised as she cooked the hammer back. “And what would you want with me, Mr. McLintock?” 

He placed a foot on a step resting his other hand on the railing. 

“Well, I was hoping I could call upon you.”

She let put a harsh laugh, “call upon me? After you let that sheriff take my father? That's funny Mr. McLintock but I don't want you to call upon me.”

He took another step up, face to face with her now. As he stared into her eyes, he saw how they had a twinkle to them. His hand reached out and moved the rifle away from him. Her lips parted and his eyes darted down as he wet his lips before speaking his next line.

“The sheriff found that he was shot in his thigh. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?”

She gasped up at him as he got closer. She turned her head away with a shake as she whispered. 

He gently grabbed her chin and faced her back to him. She looked up at him with wide eyes and gulped.

‘Jesus this girl was gonna be the death of him.’

He licked his lips again feeling his air leave his lungs as he whispered.

“What happened?”

Her mouth opened and then closed. She looked close to crying when she answered his question. With each line delivered, Cooper found himself lost in Aurora's eyes, her passion igniting a fire within him. Together, they danced through the dialogue, each word infused with emotion and depth.

“He-he was going to kill you John. I heard him talking to his old partner. He said he was going to get you before you got him and I-”

Y/N reached up and placed her hands on his cheeks. She took a step closer, leaving no room between them as she whispered up to him.

“I couldn't let him kill you John. I-I didn't want to lose you.”

Cooper felt his heart thudding against his chest. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack with how fast his heart was going. He knows this was just a part of the script but with how close they were. Cooper couldn't handle the intensity in her eyes. In that moment, time seemed to stand still. They were no longer the two charactersthey portrayed, but Cooper and Y/N – two souls intertwined in a story as old as time.

He wrapped his arm around her waist while his other hand was on her cheek. He leaned in closer as he said his last line.

“You'll never lose me sweetheart.”

As the scene reached its climax, their lips met in a tender embrace, sealing their characters' fate with a kiss that spoke volumes of love and longing. But even more than that, Cooper was confessing his love to Y/N through this kiss. Hoping that she would understand his passion and love for her through it. He heard a small moan come from her as he ran a hand down her side and her arms wrap around his neck. It made his hat tip up at an angle as they kissed but he didn't mind. Not when she ran her fingers through his hair.

The director called cut all too soon, and the spell was broken. Cooper and Y/N pulled away, their breaths mingling in the air. For a moment, they lingered in silence, the weight of their performance hanging between them like a veil.

"Wow," Y/N breathed, breaking the silence with a small smile. "That was... incredible."

Cooper nodded, his pulse still racing. "Yeah, it was."

They shared a moment of understanding, a silent acknowledgment of the magic they'd created together. In that studio, amidst the chaos of people and equipment, Cooper and Y/N had found something truly special – a connection that transcended the confines of the silver screen.

“Alright everyone that's a wrap for today. Cooper, Y/N, nice work today you both had a lot of chemistry and I want to see the same thing for tomorrow's shoot.”

Y/N nodded with a smile as Cooper gave a quick alright before the director walked away.

Cooper turned to Y/N to ask a question when she beat him to it.

“Are you bust tonight?”

Cooper shook his head, “not at all sweetheart. Why do you wanna do another dinner date?”

Y/N smiled and stepped closer to him and he placed his hands on her waist to hold her steady. 

“Something like that.”

She bashfully said as she looked up through her lashes again. This time though, Cooper could see the loving warmth and the burning of lust in them. It made Cooper's breath catch as he glanced at her lips and back to her eyes. He saw her eyes move down to his lips and then trail down his body. Biting at her bottom lip she sighed as she caught his gaze and ran her hands up his torso to grab the bandana around his neck. She tugged it slightly to bring his mouth close to hers. Just as their lips were about to meet, she smiled.

“Make sure to leave room for dessert,” she purred and turned away from him as she walked off the set. Cooper's breath left him in a rush as he realized he was holding it the whole time. His gaze caught hers as she looked back with a smile and a wink before sauntering out. His mouth turned up in a smirk as he hurried off the set as well.

‘Damn sweetheart.’

[4wkjun]

daddy sim | sjy

Chapter 8: He would die for you. ➥ Contains: pregnancy complications, swearing, crying. ➥ Word count: 2.7k ➥ Taglist: @missychief1404, @riksaes, @simhinata

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September 22nd, 2022 Wednesday

Jake left the room with the doctor, ready to sign your papers while you stayed lying down, staring at the ceiling. You had your phone with you, but you didn’t feel like scrolling through any social media or calling anyone, you just wanted to fall asleep and wake up realizing it was just a bad dream.

It took almost 20 minutes for Jake to finish signing your papers, including explaining to the nurse that you were not married yet. Once he finished, he checked his phone. 06:27. With a sigh, he called Jay.

“Hey”, Jay answered right away. “I was about to leave the house, do you need anything?”

“No… I mean, I need you to tell Chaewon we’re not going today”, he responded with a groan. “Y/n won’t show up for at least a week, you think you can tell your teachers?”

“What? What happened?”

“I don’t really know”, Jake said, pressing his back against the wall of the hallway. “She woke up in the middle of the night, her water almost broke or something. She’ll be hospitalized for at least a week and they’ll check on them.”

“Oh, God… I didn’t see that coming.”

“Me neither, dude”, Jake sighed. “The good thing is: the doctor told me she had a tiny rupture, she’s gonna be fine.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll be here with her”, Jake responded as if it was obvious.

“Yeah but… You need to eat, take a shower, etc”, Jay pointed out. “Text me when you find out the visitation schedule. Chaewon and I will be there so you can go home for a few hours.”

“That’s not necessary, Jay.”

“I’m not asking, dude”, Jay scoffed. “Text me and we’ll be there ASAP.”

Before Jake could say anything, Jay hung up. With a faint smile, Jake came back into the room.

“Hi, Jongseong”, Chaewon greeted over her counter. “Have you seen y/n? She’s late.”

Jay placed his shoulder bag on the empty stall, pouting and facing Chaewon. “She’s not coming today.”

“Oh, really? She didn’t tell me anything.”

“Yeah, about that…”, he started. Chaewon raised an eyebrow. “Don’t overreact, she’s fine. But she had a little trouble with the baby and she’ll be hospitalized for a week.”

Chaewon’s eyes got big – really big – and her mouth dropped. She placed both of her hands flat on the counter, ready to get up.

“Don’t overreact? What the fuck, Jay? What happened to her?”

“She’s not in danger, chill out!”Jay whispered-screamed, looking around to check if she brought the attention to the two of them.

As the weeks went by, your belly started to show a little more. At first, the gossiping was about your weight gain, until one of the girls in your class heard you talking about baby names. In a few minutes, almost your whole block knew about your pregnancy. You didn’t really care about the gossip, you just didn’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing about your personal life.

“Look, they’ll give her some medication and she’ll be back soon. We can visit her later if you want to… I mean, I’m going anyway because Jake will need to go home at some point.”

“I’ll come with you”, Chaewon mumbled.

Chaewon felt ridiculously worried about you and the baby. How could she even concentrate in her class knowing her best friend needed help? Especially medical help!

“Ms. Choi, we just finished preparing an actual room for you”, the nurse smiled by the door. Jake was still sitting next to you and caressing your hand as the nurse walked in with a wheelchair.

“Can’t I walk?”, you pouted.

“I’m sorry, ms. Choi. This is the hospital’s policy, any pregnant woman with any kind of risk needs to rest as much as possible.”

You nodded, a little upset. Jake helped you sit in the bed, holding you by the waist as you hopped down the best way you could.

“The room has two beds available, mr. Sim”, the nurse said as you slowly sat down. “As long as there is no other patient, you can use it instead of these uncomfortable chairs.”

“Thank you”, he smiled.

He walked right next to you, holding your hand in the sweetest way possible. The nurse smiled at the two of you as she pressed the elevator button.

“We’ll keep you in the obstetrics, ms. Choi. Visitation hours open at 10 A.M. and close at 4 P.M.”, she said, pushing the wheelchair towards the metallic cubicle. “In case you need to go home, we will keep an eye on her, ms. Sim.”

Jake scoffed and nodded, squeezing your hand. He told you about Jay and Chaewon wanting to visit, so he knew the nurses wouldn’t have to keep an eye on you.

The nurse guided you through the hospital hallways and you looked down, avoiding eye contact with any other pregnant women. They were all huge, their bellies as big as watermelons, smiling and walking calmly around. You didn’t even reach the middle of your pregnancy and didn’t know if you would even reach it.

“Before getting you in the bed, we need to change you into hospital clothes”, the nurse said as you entered the room. She opened a cabinet next to your bed and showed you a little plastic bag with the clothes mentioned before. “Would you like me or your husband to help you change, ms. Choi?”

Before Jake could say he was not your husband yet, you smiled faintly and said: “My husband, please.”

Even though the situation sucked, his heart beat harder inside of his chest. He smiled big behind you and caressed your hair, placing a kiss on your head.

The nurse placed the bag on your lap and calmly pointed towards the bathroom.

“Bathroom’s this way”, she said softly. “I’ll wait here to properly accommodate Ms. Choi into her bed.”

“We’ll be right back”, Jake smiled as he pushed you through the bathroom door.

It was pretty small for a shared room, barely fitting you, Jake, and the wheelchair. He locked the door behind him and smiled softly at you.

“C’mere”, he said, softly pulling the hem of your shirt.

“I can change by myself”, you mumbled, trying to push your shirt back down.

Jake kneeled, holding your hands between his.

“Baby, you heard the nurse. You need to rest as much as possible. Plus, I like taking care of you. Let me do this for the two of you, hm?”

You pouted but nodded anyway.

“You’re just trying to see my boobs”, you mumbled. Jake chuckled, finding you adorable.

“Consider that my payment”, he shrugged, pulling the shirt over your head.

Even though Jake always loved admiring your body, that didn’t feel like the right moment. He just passed the thin fabric of the hospital clothing through your arms and closed every button with care.

“Here”, he said, ready to hold your hands.

Your hands reached out for his and you used him as a support for getting up. You held his shoulder as he kneeled to pull your pants down your legs, as careful as ever.

Once you were completely changed and sat again, he smiled at you and gave your lips a quick peck.

Jake pushed you through the door and stopped in front of the bed you’d use for the next seven days.

“I’ll help you get comfortable and will grab your medication”, she smiled.

“Medication?”, you asked, confused.

“Yes, we will start on antibiotics to prevent any infections in your baby”, she smiled.

“Ah”, you said, nodding.

Once you felt completely comfortable in the bed, you threw your head back, eyelids suddenly feeling heavy.

“What time is it, Jakey?”, you mumbled.

“Almost 8:30, love”, he answered, standing by the bed.

You hummed and yawned. Jake scoffed, caressing your head.

“Won’t you sleep a little?”

“I will”, you smiled faintly. “But only after the nurse pokes me with her needle.”

Jake scrunched his nose, not liking the idea. He had an intense fear of needles and felt his stomach turn a little.

“Damn”, he mumbled. You laughed.

“I know you hate needles. That’s ok, you don’t need to watch it.”

“Thanks”, he sighed. You chuckled again, opening your eyes. Your hand reached out for his cheek, caressing the soft skin.

“Thank you for being here”, you mumbled. Jake laughed.

“Stop thanking me for doing the bare minimum!”, he said, still caressing your hand. “We’re in this together, remember? You, me, and our little girl.”

“That we don’t know if it’s a girl”, you reminded, closing your eyes again – but your smile never faded.

“I know”, he whispered. He just knew, deep down in his heart.

“Hi”, Jake whispered and smiled as Chaewon and Jay entered the room. It was almost 1 P.M. and you were asleep as they walked in. “She dozed off a few hours ago.”

“Poor thing”, Chaewon pouted. “Is she in pain?”

“No”, Jake responded, shaking his head. “She said she feels nothing, just woke up in a wet bed…”

“How did that happen?”, Jay asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“The doctor said it’s hard to find a reason”, your lover shrugged. “The… Am… Amniotic?”

“Amniotic sac, go on”, Chaewon scoffed. Jake rolled his eyes, smiling a little.

“That. It ruptured a little, she lost a bit of that liquid and the baby could get in fetal stress if she keeps losing it.”

“So…?”

“So she’ll be here for the next week. They’ll check on her and the baby constantly and see if she needs anything special.”

Chaewon nodded, not knowing how to proceed with the conversation.

“Hey, um… I brought my car. Maybe I could give you a ride home so you can… Take a shower?”, Jay asked Jake.

“I don’t know…”, Jake whispered.

“Don’t worry”, Chaewon said. “I’m right here in case she needs anything.”

“You sure?”

“Of course! That’s my best friend, remember?”

Jake chuckled, nodding.

“‘Kay dude, let’s go.”

“Make yourself home”, Jake said, throwing his keys on the dinner table.

“I will, don’t worry”, Jay said, playfully.

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick and… I don’t know, you think she’ll need anything?”, your lover asked, stopping right in front of the small hallway of your shared apartment.

“I don’t think so, man”, Jay responded while sitting down on the couch. “She’s more than well assisted in the hospital. You’ll only need to take her some clean clothes once she gets dismissed.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Damn, I can’t think straight”, he groaned, pulling his hair back.

Jay pouted, worried about his friend.

“Look, you’ve been through a lot today, and it’s not even 2 P.M.”, Jay stated. “Go take a shower and try to relax a bit. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Jake smirked, grateful. “Nah, you’re already helping a lot.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have to pay back later”, he responded playfully.

Jake flipped him off with a soft chuckle and walked towards his bedroom. The two of you talked about cleaning his bedroom and transforming it into the baby’s room just yesterday before going to bed. How the hell did things end up this way?

He picked up his remaining clothes off this wardrobe – most of his baggy t-shirts and sweatpants were in yours since you couldn’t fit your own clothes anymore – and walked towards the bathroom, his mind running a thousand miles a second.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he noticed strong purple-ish circles under his eyes. He couldn’t sleep since you woke him up in the middle of the night, your expression of pure fear wouldn’t let go of his mind. Your eyes were telling him how afraid of losing the baby you were and he hoped his own eyes didn’t do the same to you – he wanted to give you peace of mind, at least for now.

Jake opened the shower and let the hot water run down his body, from his head to toe. With his eyes closed, he let the tears stream down his cheeks, feeling his heart heavy. You’ve been pregnant for 18 weeks and barely started to show. The two of you still haven’t picked out names for your little bundle of joy. You don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl. You can’t lose the baby, damn, there is so much to do! So much to live for!

The poor guy dreamed about feeling the baby kicking – the obstetrician told you it could happen at any time between the 16th and the 20th week, and it still hasn’t –, the baby shower, preparing the layette, being there for you during labor, being the first one to hold the baby, teaching the baby how to walk, how to speak English… So much awaits for the three of you.

His shower took longer than necessary, but Jay wouldn’t dare say a word, only imagining what you were going through. He patiently waited, scrolling through his TikTok and casually texting his friends.

“I’m ready, let’s go”, Jake said, showing up fully dressed in the living room, but his hair was still damp.

“It’s freezing outside, go blow-dry that”, Jay said, half scolding, half joking.

Jake pouted and rolled his eyes, but he did come back to do so. The last thing he needs is to be sick right now.

“Morning, sleepy head”, Chaewon chanted softly as you opened your eyes. She was sitting down next to you, where Jake was before.

“Oh, hi”, you mumbled, smiling a bit.

“How are you feeling?”, she asked, honestly worried.

“I’m… Ok, I guess”, you responded. “I think I’m much better now that I know this is not a critical case, but my heart still hurts from the shock I had earlier.”

“Wanna tell me what happened? I don’t know if I can trust Jake’s version”, she asked with a cute nose scrunch. You chuckled.

“I woke up in the middle of the night feeling something wet beneath me. Not a lot, though. The doctor explained to me it was a little amniotic fluid gush”, you said, trying to remember the details. “The amniotic sac ruptured a little and it can cause premature birth, which, right now, would be like… 90% fatal to the baby…”

“Oh…”, Chaewon mumbled. She pouted, upset.

“Thank God we rushed to the hospital. The faster the diagnosis, the higher the chances of ‘fixing’ it”, you said, smiling softly. “I’ll take antibiotics for a week to prevent infections in this little one”, you said, caressing your bump. “And perform a few tests to make sure the amniotic fluid is enough to keep her safe and sound.”

“Keep her safe and sound?”, Chaewon repeated with a big smile. “Is it a girl?”

“Oh”, you said, feeling your cheeks hot. “No, we don’t know yet”, you chuckled. “Jake’s 100% sure we’re having a girl, I think I let it in my mind.”

“Yeah, sure”, your bestie laughed. “What about Jake?”

“I think he’s trying to be strong… But I know he’s terrified of the idea of losing the baby. So am I, to be honest, but I think he felt this whole chaos harder.”

“How can he feel it more than you? You’re literally carrying the baby.”

“Won, I don’t know how to explain it… But Jake would literally die for our baby. He loves them so much, I feel like the baby means his whole existence right now…”, you said, eyes teary. “I’m not saying I don’t love the baby to death – ‘cause I do –, but Jake… I don’t think words are enough to describe how bad he loves them.”

“God, this is so adorable”, she mumbled. “I can’t believe how cute the two of you are.”

You laughed, caressing your best friend’s hand as she caressed your baby bump.

“I still gotta talk to him and calm him down”, you said, sighing. “I think things are a lot worse in his head.”

“Yeah, but I don’t judge him. You said it yourself, he’d die for you.”

“I said he’d die for the baby”, you corrected.

“Please, we both know he would die for the both of you”, she said rolling her eyes.

And she was right.

[rhymey-workshop]

Feel free to skip. TW: I'm joining the military.

Growing up is really hard, and I don't think we realize that until we're on the verge of a big change, standing on the border between two parts of your life, balancing on a precipice before you take the swan dive known to many as change.

I'm packing my things. My dad finally brought home boxes and storage tubs and I'm finally packing my things, and that makes the passage of time so much more real.

I'm packing my things. My mom opened the door to tell me to watch my sleeping brother, and said nothing about the fact my room is a mess, or that I was just staring blankly at the cardboard box I just taped the bottom of. That box is ready for my craft books and paint stuff, my origami paper, my reading stand, my books on how to make stuff like children's books and animation. She made no mention of it all, just made that same pinched expression she has for weeks and then schooled her expression into something more neutral as she nodded towards the bedroom where my brother is and after a moment I got up and stumbled in, sitting at the foot of the bed to type out some kind of vent on Tumblr.

I'm packing my things, and I'm stuck between wanting to cry and finding myself unable to cry. I'm leaving home. I've been dreaming of getting out of here off and on since I was 13. At times I had a countdown of years, months, weeks, days that I had to stay, that I had to wait for the day I could finally leave. It made being angry or sad or any other complicated emotion easier. It made hardship easier to cope with. It made it easier to get through the hard times because I knew I could leave and nothing could stop me.

I'm packing my things, slowly, piece by piece, and I'm starting to understand the weight of what my dad said, when he said I was the first person on either side of my family in generations to not run away from home before turning 18. My mom left home at 17, my dad spent more days out of the house than in it as a teenager and left the god damn country. My bio paternal family has these issues too. My maternal family is full of people that ran off, that stayed away from home and didn't look back. My mom only speaks to one sister, and can't speak to her brother as long as their mother is alive. I didn't leave. I finished high school, I got my diploma, I took my time and I didn't leave before I was a legal adult.

I'm packing my things to leave home, and it's hard. It's scary. I've never been away from home for very long, and here I am, getting ready to do something more than just "Move out".

I'm packing my things, putting my life into boxes, sorting what's going to stay, waiting for me to return, what's getting tossed, what's going to get donated or given away. I keep finding things and remembering shit related to them. I keep finding things and remembering who gave them to me. I keep finding things and remembering which parent smiled when I got it.

I'm packing my things, and in a way I'm also processing a kind of grief I didn't know existed.

I'm leaving home for something I thought through for 8 months, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary since I made my decision. It's been just under two since I signed the dotted line, swore in, and came home to congratulations and a sureness that I'm doing the right thing for me.

In 5 days, I'm going to my last meeting. Getting a send off from a group of people doing the same thing. A couple of them doing the EXACT same thing.

In 9 days, I'll spend the last full 24 hours I've got with my family, eating a fruit tart and playing putt putt. I'll say good night and that'll be the last time I see them for months at the very least.

In 10 days, I'm hiding my key on the porch and walking out the front door while everyone is asleep. They'll wake up and I'll be hundreds of miles away from them. In 10 days, I'm hopping in a big unmarked government van (and this will never not be funny to me) with like 5 other people and we're all doing the same thing. We're going somewhere and we have no idea what is really waiting for us.

In 11 days, I'm not in civilian limbo anymore. As it stands I am subject to the UCMJ but I'm not a sailor yet. In 11 days, I'm a recruit, and that's fucking dizzying to think about.

I'm getting ready to start a new part of my life and it's going to be exciting and new and I'll make friends and I'll go a couple places and I'll have stories to tell my brother and family. I think I'll be better, when all is said and done.

But right now, I'm packing my things into boxes and tubs, and right now, I want to cry.

[xunandran]

Tease (more than a) Tidbit Tuesday

Back again with some from my Eddie Diaz Coma story: Forever only exists in Dreams and Stories. This time, we're in the real world, three years+ post season 7, dealing with Buck and Tommy and Christopher. Buck and Tommy's marriage has been over for months, they've just recently admitted it. Christopher's still reeling from his father's accident.

Forever only exists in dreams and stories (unfinished)

The house is quiet when Buck opens the front door. “Tommy? I know I’m not supposed to be here today, but I have Christopher with me. I’ll get him settled in the guest room and I can stay in the office.” No response. Not unexpected. Buck points to the hall in the back. “Guest room is on the left past the bathroom. There are blankets in the closet.”

Christopher’s eyes linger on the kitchen and his stomach growls loudly, betraying his hunger. Buck doesn’t acknowledge it as the teen stalks down the hall toward the guest room. Buck sighs and sets down Eddie’s suitcase before walking into the kitchen to see if there are any leftovers or anything he can whip up. It takes little time to scrounge a couple sandwiches together that he quietly sets to the side of the door of the guest room. “There’s some food out here for you.” He lingers, fingers pressed against the door for a breath before walking back to his office at the other side of the house.  

Buck’s office is neat and organized. He has a modest desk with a laptop, a few files that he’s brought home from work, and a small planter, half-dead succulent and some decorative rocks that, given time, he’s sure he’ll figure out how to kill too. He wipes a thin layer of dust off the closed laptop. Has it been so long since he’s used it? While the laptop boots, Buck pulls his phone and dials a number, putting it on speaker. 

“Buck?” Bobby’s voice is gravelly on the other end of the phone. 

“Hey Cap- er… Bobby!” He was never going to get used to not calling Bobby Cap. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“You didn’t wake me, Buck. Athena and I are just doing the crossword before we turn in. What’s up? You’ve not burned down my fire station yet, have you?”

“One forgotten lasagna, Bobby!” Buck tries to sound exasperated, but he can’t help but smile. It might be the first smile he’s had all day that feels remotely genuine and not forced. 

“Speaking of… Athena wants to know if we can expect you this weekend for the barbecue. Everyone else has already confirmed, and May’s even going to be in town and would love to see you.” 

Buck’s short smile fades. “I don’t know Bobby. I’ve got all this paper-”

“It’ll be good for you to see your friends, Buck. Part of learning to not let that job crush you is learning how to put it aside when you can.”

“I wish it was only work.” Buck sighs and logs into the powered up laptop. After a few updates patch their way through, the past punches him in the throat in the form of his background, a candid shot of him, Eddie, Tommy, Hen and Chimney after their medal ceremony. He slams the laptop shut like he’s grabbed fire. 

“So things aren’t any better between you and Tommy?”

Buck sighs again, leaning back in his chair. “We’re signing the paperwork this Friday. We’ve still got a couple of things to get sorted here, but we’ve gotten all the deeds and everything transferred into either my or Tommy’s name.”

“Where are you going to go?”

Buck can hear Athena in the background, but he can’t quite make out what she’s saying. “Maddie and Chimney said I can use their guest room until I can find an apartment. It’ll be good to see Jee.”

“And to be around family. I’m really sorry, Buck. I was really hoping you guys would figure it out.”

Buck sniffs, wiping away a tear trailing its way down his cheek. “Me too, Bobby. I guess I’m too defective for even the most patient person.”

“Don’t say that, Buck. These things happen.” There’s a rustle on the other end of the line, likely Athena taking their newspaper. Bobby’s voice is muted for a moment, as if he’s covered the phone with his hand. Buck sits and waits. “Sorry about that, Buck. How’s Eddie?” Buck sits in silence, staring at the phone. After all these years, Bobby still knows him perfectly, because he fills the space. “Ravi called me. He had a question about the fire house and he didn’t want to bother you.”

“He’s… He’s not good, Bobby.”

“I thought he was in El Paso.”

“He was. I don’t know what he’s doing up here. I have Christopher with me, but he hasn’t said.”

“How is he doing?”

Buck blinks back the stinging tears from the simple question. “He’s so angry, Bobby. I mean, I get being scared and lashing out, but this is deeper. I… I think he hates me, and I don’t know what I do about that.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Buck. Like you said, he’s scared and it’s been what, three years? He’s processing some big feelings right now. You’re just going to have to give him time and space.”

Buck sighs in resignation. “Time’s the one thing I’m not sure we have…” Buck can hear the hesitation on the other end of the line. “Spit it out, Bobby.”

The older man sighs. “Then maybe it’s a good thing it happened here instead of in El Paso.”

“Why?”

“So you can address the things between the two of you that never got said… before it’s too late.”

Buck stares at the phone, Bobby’s words rattling around in his head. “I-I gotta go, Bobby. Give Athena my love.”

“Buck… Come over this weekend. Bring Christopher. You don’t have to go through all this alone.”

Buck presses the large red button and pulls his knees to his chest. The soft rock of the office chair is almost a comfort, and while he doesn’t get anything that could be considered restful sleep, he at least gets some sleep. 

===

For the last several weeks in the Buckley-Kinard house, silence has been the norm. Ever since *that* talk, Buck and Tommy had each done everything in their power to not be in the place at the same time as the other. Buck’s reason? It hurt. He didn’t know Tommy’s. He still hasn’t had the courage to ask. So when Tommy’s rich baritone laugh, the one that used to be reserved for him, echoes through the house, he perks up from a dreamless, uncomfortable sleep. 

He hesitates at his office door. He can smell breakfast, eggs and bacon. He imagines toast with jam and butter, Tommy’s tea cup, emblazoned with ‘world’s okayest pilot’, a white elephant gift from their first christmas together that Buck had picked secretly hoping that Tommy would trade for it. He did. His memory is warm and happy, a far cry from the cold loneliness of recent weeks. 

Tommy’s in the middle of some pilot story when Buck finally walks into the kitchen. His smile evaporates at Buck’s presence and with a small cough, he continues preparing his lunch. Christopher looks up from his plate of breakfast. Buck can’t help but notice there’s only one plate. He’s not surprised but still a little sad. Christopher also clams up, his elusive smile vanishing like the sun behind clouds. Buck tries to take up as little space as possible as he prepares his small coffee maker, one of the few remaining things in the house that’s his.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

some colour themed excerpts I wrote for an activity on Reddit

“Tommy.”

Niki gave a guilty look as she stood on the doorstep to the dirt hovel the boy- just a boy, that was right, he’d never been allowed to get older- as she almost expected someone to answer. Sighing, she pushed the door open.

It was abandoned in a rush, the ghosts of a dead boy still holding through in a half-finished letter on the side, bed half-made, broken disc still running in the jukebox. Dust had gathered over the years, leaving the absence of the bright eyed, loud boy that should have been bouncing around every corner, sun yellow hair and sky blue eyes and skin freckled like the stars, suffocating.

“I.” Her voice dried up in her throat. What should she say? I’m sorry for trying to kill you? I’m sorry I freed that man? I’m sorry you’re dead? I’m sorry I never got to say sorry, for what not only I did to you but what we all did?

She'd hated him, once, but his absence had almost stung harder than Jack's and Tubbo's. Almost. It wasn’t the same sort of longing for friendship, but the bitter, venomous guilt she’d tried so hard to project onto him or Wilbur so she didn’t have to deal with it herself.

“I baked a cake for you,” she settled on, leaving the confectionery by the bedside in absence of a grave. “I know this doesn’t make up for anything, but I want to move on. And… I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.”

As she turned around, her time in this dimension running short, she swore she saw a grinning boy in his old uniform, just for a second.

—

“Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy…” Dream grinned, jade green eyes sparkling with curiosity. “What did you see?”

“I- I-“ Tommy hyperventilated, pulling his knees up to his chin and hugging them tightly. “I- I-“

Dream kicked his ribs, and Tommy wailed, gagging up blood onto the floor as he crumpled. “Next time, tell me straight away, and I won’t have to punish you. You're not a person now, you’re a lab rat, and you need to remember that.”

—

“Aww, what did you make for me, Mikey?”

The zombie piglin child shyly pressed the drawing into Tubbo's hands, humming. Slowly, he signed the word “family”, darting his eye towards the floor.

“Your family?” Tubbo couldn’t help but be curious about the kid. He and Ranboo had let him stay in the mansion, of course, after they couldn’t find his home, and they’d almost started to see him as a son, but of course, he must have a family back there. It was like a stab to the gut, but it was for the best that Micheal go home, if he had one.

Micheal nodded, his pigtails bouncing.

Smiling, Tubbo opened up the paper, and gasped at what he saw. It was him, Ranboo, and Micheal, in amber and gold childish scribbles. Written next to him and Ranboo, in shakey text, was “daddies” and next to Micheal was “miky”.

Tubbo was tearing up. He'd never expected to be a father so young, at seventeen, but fuck, he loved his little Micheal more than anything, and the idea that the shy kid who still hid under his covers loved him like a father- it was enough to get to him.

Micheal anxiously pawed at Tubbo's fur. “Da-da?” His words had the same clipped tone Techno and Ranboo had, an Enderian accent.

“I'm okay, Mikey. Just… happy.”

—

“Do you know what this colour is?”

“Eau de nil.” Tommy gave an unimpressed glare. “What, did you think I didn’t know colours because I’m a Big Man? That’s a bit sexist, innit.”

Tubbo blinked. “I was just asking a question, man.”

—

The crater was stained by explosions, the colour of ash painting over every flag, every charred skeleton that would have been a house, every bone peeking out that Tubbo could only hope was an animal, and not one of his citizens.

It didn’t get easier. Whoever said that was a fucking liar. Tubbo always found himself back at those ruins, almost instinctively, and each time it felt like a punch to the gut, a sign of his failures. Maybe if he hadn’t been president, maybe…

You shouldn’t be expected to do any different. You were a child. It wasn’t your fault. some selfish part of him says, and he wants so bad to believe it but he can’t.

—

Tommy stood on the beach, a strained smile and tears already starting to form, as Wilbur took his leave. For some reason, he got the urge in those final moments to study everything- the tilt of his brow, the cascading blond locks that hadn’t been cut in months, that gaunt, pale face of his, the deep cerulean of his staring eyes.

Wilbur waved goodbye-

And that would be the last time he ever saw his brother alive.

—

A trail of crimson lead the hunter to his prey, wobbly footsteps in the snow slowly tapering along the same path. Taking the moment to analyse their distance, Dream realised with an amused hum that Tommy couldn’t have been able to do much more than hobble away. The determination of that boy always astonished him.

“Oh, Tommy…” he trilled, sadistic excitement in his voice. it was fine it was fine he could have a little fun he wasn’t a bad person right “I've found you!”

—

Tubbo slipped the silver ring onto one of Ranboo's claws by the light of the fire, and Ranboo did the same with a golden one.

“So… we're married now?” Ranboo twitched his ears.

“Yeah. I mean, I’d like to have a wedding some day, but for now…” Tubbo sighed, leaning onto his friend's- no, his husband's- shoulder. “Shit's pretty hectic. I just- y’know. I thought we should do it, before, y’know. Maybe one of us won’t live til eighteen, till there’s enough peace we can have parties and flowers. I don’t wanna be buried without you by my side.”

“That’s. Pessimistic.”

“Realistic, if you’re to be honest.” Tubbo took a second to take it all in. “So. Marriage. Does it feel like how you expected?”

“It doesn’t feel any different at all, honestly.”

“It doesn’t.” Tubbo leaned further into the warmth of Ranboo's vest. “That’s why I like it so much.”

—

Quackity unfurled his wings for the first time in a long while as he lay on the stone floor of the ravine, breathing a sigh of relief as they freed themselves from their bindings.

Schlatt had made him hide them- ugly things, he said, a disgusting mustard yellow colour that looked unsightly with every suit and left him looking far too hideous to be the eye candy he wanted, but he wasn’t Schlatt's anymore. He'd thrown his engagement ring into the fucking mud, where it belonged, and seeing the empty air on his fingers where the diamond ring used to be felt like a chain cut loose.

“You sure you don’t want a sleeping bag, Big Q?” Tommy said quizzically, tending to the fire.

Quackity yawned, rolling over onto the soft feathers of one of his wings and blanketing himself with the other. “Nah, man. I'm fine.”

“You gusta?”

Quackity laughed. “Yeah, me gusta.”

—

“Tommy?”

The ghost's voice sounded frailer than ever, barely audible from inside the Tnret, and Tommy didn’t move from where he was curled up on the makeshift bed.

“Tommy?” he repeated. “Tommy, if you’re not going to come out I’m going to have to come in because I’m melting in the rain.”

Tommy groaned. “Sure. Fine. C'mon in, Ghostbur.”

The half-melted parts of the ghost immediately sprung back to normal the second he saw Tommy, smile widening across his face. “Hi, Tommy. I missed you and I wanted to give you some blue, because I knew you were upset because…” He scrunched up his face in concentration. “Because of something! I can’t remember.”

Dream, but Ghostbur didn’t need to know that. Tommy gave the ghost a weak grin. “Go ahead then, man. I’m waiting.”

Cheerfully, Ghostbur took some of the sky blue substance flowing out of where a wound would have stood if he was a human, pressing the weird-feeling, sorta powdery substance he seemed to love so much in Tommy's palm. “There you go. Calm yourself.”

—

“… Do you think I look like a freak?”

Tubbo didn’t process Tommy's soft voice for a second, the vulnerability foreign. The idea of Tommy- loud Tommy, excitable Big Man Tommy- ever openly stating his insecurities where anyone could hear… that wasn’t like him at all.

“Course not. Why'd you think so?”

Tommy glanced down at the ground, and Tubbo gripped tighter onto his arm. Surely, he wouldn’t let himself fall from the tower, but Tubbo had thought the same and been wrong once before. “I mean- I can’t grow up, for one. You and Ranboo, you’re all tall and shit and you're not all skin and bones, and you’re getting all- y’know, like an adult, and I still look like a fucking kid. I’m stuck looking like I am the day I died. I look so weird next to you, now. You’re a grown ass man, and I’m a fuckin' teenager.”

Tommy took a breath, tugging on the white ends of his fringe. “And-and you've seen what he's done to me. The bruises, the scars, the white in my hair and how my skin's all grey and sickly looking. And- you can see every one of my bones. I look like I haven’t ate in days, and it’s not- no matter how much I eat, I look like I’m a freak. How do you stand it?”

Tubbo buried Tommy in a hug, holding him tight. “You’re my best friend, man. You could never look- look like a freak to me. Just a Tommy. Like, dude. Do you think my scars make me look freaky?”

“Of course not!”

“Well, there you go.”

—

Tommy clung to Sam's back like it was a lifelife, the foliage beneath his fingers rustling and letting out a soft hiss. The rain fell down in sheets, soaking through the meagre rags he had left and leaving sodden curls stuck to his face, and it was an uncomfortable ride- even if Sam was like a centaur and shit, that didn’t mean he knew how to carry a half-conscious teenager comfortably through the night.

Tommy had never felt happier in weeks.

He was free. He was free and Sam wasn’t going to let him go- go back there. He'd promised. Tommy buried his face into the soft, grass like material that covered Sam like fur- green, but a dark forest green, not his green- and cried, for the first time in a long time, tears of happiness and not sorrow.

[kiribaku-fics-whatever]

Roommates

The Quiet Dance by justalogicalruse

"Why don’t we find a place together?" Eijirou had asked him, talking through a mouthful of food.

"What are you on about now, Shitty Hair?"

"After we graduate," Eijirou swallowed, "Why don’t we live together?"

It was a smart idea, Katsuki can acknowledge that. He should have thought of it himself. Their agencies are near each other, rent will be cheaper, he won’t have to put up with some shitty roommate he met online, etc etc. There’s a hundred reasons why living with Eijirou made sense, not one of them being 'I don’t want to lose you when this madness is over'.

---

Katsuki finds himself falling hopelessly in love with his best friend, struggling to come to terms with his feelings and the concept of emotional vulnerability.

Sun Sets Red by Shippeh

Eijirou Kirishima considered himself lucky. He'd been accepted to a good college, he was picking up new friends like flies to sugar, and the random lottery had paired him with a really cool roommate, Izuku.

Unfortunately, the new roommate seemed to come unconditionally with a very bizarre asshole of a dude.

For You in Warm Summer by Dionte

Kirishima got into the school of his dreams on a soccer scholarship, and he was excited. He was prepared for the tough training and classes, but he wasn’t prepared for one thing. His new roommate, Bakugo Katsuki.

Fight Me by mr_todoroki

Bright red, spiky hair. Annoyingly bright smile. Clothes that radiate ‘look at me’ vibes. Neon yellow tank top with black shorts. And those were definitely crocs on his fucking feet.

Yeah, Katsuki hated this guy.

-

Bakugou gets a new roommate.

A Damn Good Pair by PurplePersnickety

Katsuki couldn’t help but wonder what the public would think if they saw Kirishima the way he was at home. He cried at romcoms like the sap that he was, touched every time by the romance-by-numbers formula. He told stupid jokes and waited with eager eyes for Katsuki to laugh at them. He sang cheesy power ballads in the shower in the middle of the fucking day.

He was a dork, and honestly? Anyone who saw it would probably find themselves more endeared by him. Too bad for all those desperate fans that they didn’t get to be Kirishima’s roommate, ha.

Falling on Deaf Ears by boatsyournotes

When Bakugou told people he was Deaf to get out of socializing, he didn't think much of it. A few weeks later, basically the entire campus knows he's Deaf and he's been assigned a roommate that knows sign language. He's ready to hate his roommate and spend the entire school year ignoring him, but there's just something about Kirishima that he can't help but like. Things get complicated when Bakugou hears Kirishima say things he isn't supposed to hear.

but i've got an angry heart by newamsterdam

He’s about to open his door to go to the shared bathroom on this floor when he notices the scrap of paper that’s been pushed under his door. It’s a salmon-colored flashcard, the type that’s sold in 500-packs with multiple colors. Bakugou stoops to retrieve it, frowning at the message he finds written on it.

Hey neighbor, welcome to the house! I heard you knocking things around, yesterday, and I think you maybe punched a wall? Anyway, the landlady gets pissy if you put holes in the wall, but I have a punching bag! You can come over and use it, or I can move it into the hall, if you want!

There’s only one other bedroom on the fourth floor. Now, Bakugou crosses the hall to the bedroom on the right side, slamming the post-it note against the door.

Fuck off and die, it reads.

Bakugou Katsuki is not going to jeopardize his future a second time, and that means staying away from anyone who gets too close. Kirishima Eijirou has never learned how not to be close to someone. Of course, they end up as next-door neighbors.

Don't by Trenchcoatkitten

Kirishima is out of a place to live - and Bakugou gives him a perfect solution

OR

And they were roommates. (Oh my god they were roommates) Basically I just needed these babies being soft and sweet and domestic okay. Light angst cause I'm ~still a piece of garbage~ and I can't help it.

come on crash into me, 'cause i want us to collide by rronanllynch

Bakugou can't figure out why he's suddenly homophobic after he moves in with Kirishima. (Plot twist: it turns out he doesn't have any problem with Kirishima kissing guys if it’s him he’s kissing.)

Based on this absolutely iconic reddit post: https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/

shapes in the dark by sobistars

“Hey, Bakugou?”

“I said go to sleep!”

“I can’t sleep,” he reminds him, smiling when Bakugou just grumbles in response. “I was thinking.”

“That’s a surprise. Clear your head, stupid.”

“I can’t,” Kirishima whines. “I was thinking, you could come up to my bunk.”

Teeth and Hearts are Bared by dragontrappedinhumanskin

Newly turned vampire Bakugo is having trouble adjusting, until he runs into a human who knows a lot more then him.

--

Bakugo’s eyes dropped as the man sat down, and caught on white bandages wrapped around the man’s left forearm and the memories of last night rushed through Bakugo’s head.

“Are—” Bakugo gaped and snapped his mouth shut, eyes darting up to meet the man’s gaze, “How are you alive?”

the fool's rush by chonideno

Settling down with each other is naturally what comes after being dorm neighbors for years. It’s time to navigate through adulthood together, to live the daily grind of being pro-heroes, to learn more than they thought they’d like to know about each other, about themselves.

Or how Bakugou and Kirishima find a way to call each other “home” and struggle with the realization that once all their bills are on auto-pay, the only thing they still have to deal with is this pit full of feelings they have ignored for too long.

[favefandomimagines]

Give Me A Reason to Stay (b.b.)

Summary: the battle is over, you can finally breathe. but will bucky give you a reason to stay with him in Louisiana? 

AN: inspired by the finale of tfaws! so potential spoilers and obvs i’m gonna include some angst (stark!reader)

You finally caught a moment to breathe after what felt like years of fighting. After so long of going from one disaster to the next, you could finally stop and pause. Actually enjoy life for once. 

Since your father died, you never stopped moving. Being CFO of Stark Industries, helping Wanda escape the authorities after her grief induced episode and then Sam and Bucky called you for help. It never seemed to stop. 

But, after Karli died and the rest of the Flag Smashers gone, you could take your well deserved pause. At least for a little while before your inherited work called. 

Sam invited you to come to his home town in Louisiana for a celebration of sorts and you couldn’t say no. Him telling you that Bucky was going to be there was also a selling point. 

You and Bucky had a complicated history. You helped Sam and Steve stop him and HYDRA and then went on the manhunt for him. Even after finding out he killed your grandparents, you were still there. You understood that it wasn’t Bucky’s mind, just his body. You were there in Wakanda and helped set him free from his trigger words. 

But nothing ever progressed from the stolen looks, the longing glances and the quick touches. The amount of times Bucky Barnes saved your life and threatened others who tried to hurt you, you thought he felt something for you. But the nagging feeling in the back of your head told you that you were wrong. 

At the celebration, the many neighborhood kids were gathered around you as you created stars in your hands, almost like your own personal galaxy. The kids thought it was magic and you rather liked that perspective on your powers. 

Bucky and Sam were talking with Sarah and some other neighbors but Bucky couldn’t focus on the conversation when he was too busy watching you. 

Your smile was so wide that he thought it could light up a city block. You looked genuinely happy, a look he hadn’t seen on you in a long time. It was refreshing and your happiness made him happy. 

“You’re being creepy.” Sam commented, nudging the super soldier. “What?” Bucky asked. “You’re staring.” Sam said. “I-I was not staring.” He stammered. “You so were. Just tell her how you feel already. I can assure you she feels the same way.” Sam told him. “I can’t just tell her.” Bucky rebutted. “Yes, yes you can. What are you afraid of?” Sam asked.

The 106 year-old man paused for a moment as he continued to stare at you. “I can’t be the one that causes her more pain.” He said. Sam furrowed his eyebrows at Bucky’s answer. “She’s been through too much already. Losing Natasha, watching her father die, the nightmares she has. I’m not back to myself yet and I can’t cause her anymore pain.” Bucky explained. 

The conversation was cut short when you approached the two men. “I’m so sorry, Sam. Pepper just called and said the donors are pulling out of the eco-friendly power source project we’re working on. She needs my help fixing it.” You told them. 

“Do you really have to go?” Sam asked. “Unfortunately. Pepper says she can do it on her own, she did it before I was old enough but since my name is still attached to the company, I have to go. Board meeting at 9 tomorrow.” You explained. “I’ll go grab Sarah, she’s going to insist on giving you leftovers to take.” Sam said, giving you a nice smile. 

You turned to Bucky who was very quiet since you walked over. “So, you’re really going back?” He asked you. “Yeah. Unless you give me a reason to stay.” You answered honestly. And rather boldly.

Bucky wanted to say something so bad. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and wanted you to stay with him there but the words didn’t come out. And if he was already feeling bad before, the look on your face broke his heart. 

You gave him a tight lipped smile, a small head nod before you walked away from him. He watched as you slapped a fake smile on, say goodbye to Sarah and Sam before leaving the party rather quickly. 

“What the happened with Y/N?” Sarah asked approaching Bucky. “Nothing. She just had to go.” Bucky lied. Sam saw right through it obviously. Something had happened between you and Bucky and he was determined to find out and play cupid. 

“What really happened?” Sam asked. “She asked me to give her a reason to stay. And I didn’t say anything.” Bucky answered. “Come on, man. You love her, she loves you. Y/N wouldn’t give you the time of day if she couldn’t handle your baggage. You need each other more than you want to admit, Buck.” Sam said.

Bucky sighed and cursed himself for letting you go. “Okay, what do I do?” He asked. “Go to New York. Pull a rom-com move and crash that board meeting and tell her that you love her.” Sam answered.

And Bucky did just that. He got on the first flight to New York and came up with a whole speech in his head for what he was going to say to you.

He made it at the nick of time and was surprised he still had security clearance to the building. When he arrived to the correct floor, he saw Pepper standing in the hallway.

“Bucky, I didn’t expect to see you here.” She said to him. “Where’s Y/N? I need to talk to her.” Bucky said. “She’s in the conference room, preparing for the meeting.” Pepper answered.

Bucky practically ran to the conference room and almost broke down the door.

“B-Bucky?” You questioned. “I love you, Y/N. You asked me to give you a reason to stay and I was scared. Scared that I’d cause you more pain and you don’t deserve that after what you’ve been through. But I can’t deny that I love you anymore.” Bucky confessed.

You were at a loss for words, not really expecting a love confession from Bucky Barnes. “You love me?” You questioned quietly. “Yes. I love you.” He said. “Come back to Louisiana with me. We can start over, have the life we both deserve. Or, I can come back here and you can still help Pepper run Stark Industries. I don’t care as long as I get a chance at a life with you.” Bucky added.

“You really mean that?” You asked. “I really do mean that.” He answered. He watched you intently as you processed everything Bucky had just told you.

You looked down at your presentation notes before you picked them up and folded the papers in half. “Friday, can you bring Pepper into the conference room please?” You asked the AI. “Of course, Ms. Stark.” It said.

You and Bucky waited in a tension filled silence when the door opened. “What’s going on?” Pepper asked. “I think it’s time I sign those papers.” You told her.

Pepper smiled widely at you, happy that you were choosing yourself over the company for once. “It’s about time.” She commented. “I’ll go get them drawn up.” She added before leaving the room.

“Wait what papers?” Bucky asked. “I’m giving every aspect of the company to Pepper. I’ll no longer be listed as an executive for Stark Industries. Which means, I can go anywhere I want for as long as I want.” You explained.

“You mean-“ Bucky started. “I’m going to Louisiana with you. For however long you’ll have me.” You interjected. Bucky laughed lightly as he made his way over to you, cupped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply.

It was a feeling you both had been waiting for and it was one that was definitely worth the wait. You had been putting off your personal life out of fear it wouldn’t work but now you just wanted to be with each other. No matter what happens down the line.

“And if it wasn’t obvious, I love you too.” You said once you parted. “I’d hope so, doll.” Bucky replied.

—

You and Bucky approached the large gathering of people with food in your hands, saying your hellos and giving out hugs and handshakes.

“There you two are! I was wondering if you’d ever show!” Sam scolded you two. “What do you expect? We’re newlyweds.” You laughed. “And it’s about damn time it happened too.” Sarah commented.

You sat down at the picnic table, Bucky resting his flesh hand on your thigh. You stared down at the ring on your finger quite fondly and thought of your dad. Hoping he’d be proud of letting the company go three years ago and living your life to its fullest.

“Aunt Y/N! Can we see the stars again?” Cass asked with all of his friends behind him. “Can’t say no to a future leading astronomer now can I?” You teased the boy. You got up from the table and stood a few feet away, creating the stars with your hands like you had years prior.

Again, Bucky watched you fondly but this time he wasn’t pining after you, hoping he’d build the courage to tell you how he felt. He was watching you as his wife and as his future.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Sam asked. “Yeah. I really do.” Bucky answered, a smile adorning his face. “You’re going to be amazing parents.” Sarah added. “Parents?” Bucky questioned. “Oh no she hasn’t told you yet.” Sarah said, standing up from the table.

“Is Y/N,” Bucky started. “Am I what?” You asked. Bucky turned to you and rose from his seat so he could stand eye to eye with you. “Are you pregnant?” He asked.

You looked behind him and glared at Sarah before staring back at Bucky. “Yeah, yeah I am. You’re gonna be dad James Bucky Barnes.” You told him with a watery smile.

Just the thought of bringing a child into the world with Bucky made you more emotional than you thought possible.

“I’m gonna be a dad?” Bucky questioned. You nodded your head and Bucky scooped you up in his arms and if felt like everything was falling into place.

After 109 years of not having an ounce of peace or feeling as if he was a monster and a burden, he was getting the life he had always dreamed of. And he got to do it all with you.

[yujikitu]

Once Upon A Dream (Pt.4)

They couldn't find Billy or Griffin, so they all agreed to look again tomorrow and just go home.

So now its the next day and they're looking again, luckily it was saturday so school wasn't an issue though perhaps being at school would be easier to find them.

They decided to bike around rather than walk, Vance being nice enough to offer his bike? Well nobody actually knew if it was his bike considering the only transportation they've seen him use was a police car or just plain walking.

But anyways Robin and Finney were using Vance's bike while the blonde went on Bruce's bike, and they searched around in hopes of finding Billy atleast.

He was the paperboy afterall, and if he was like them just going about regularly then he'd be biking around early throwing newpapers into people's lawns.

For someone they thought would be easy to find it was actually way harder than it seemed.

It was like they were biking around forever, yet still no sign of Billy.

Maybe he didn't hand out papers and just went home? Well it's not like any of the others knew where he lived so they would either have to wait until school starts, same thing with Griffin nobody knew where he lived and nobody even knew him at school.

This is starting to become a disaster quickly.

They were gonna cut their losses when suddenly Bruce points outs to the sidewalk.

It was Billy's dog in all their furred glory with Billy's bike next to them.

Though this time it was different.

Billy was there sitting next to his dog, along with Griffin who's bike was also there.

It was a surprise, finding the both of them on some sidewalk.

Griffin had taken it upon himself to pet Billy's dog who was very happy for the attention while Billy himself just sat there watching.

They stopped their bikes and walked up to the two boys.

Billy looked at them but he didn't say anything.

While Griffin seemed to curl in onto himself, an attempt to make himself smaller.

Though he was already pretty small compared to the others.

It gave them a sick feeling in the stomach, seeing Griffin here.

They could see how young he really looked, how small he was compared to them.

It was really fucked up.

"I was biking around doing my job when i found him on the side walk with his bike" Billy eventually spoke up, looking at Griffin.

"We've been sitting here a while, didn't say much until you guys came"

"We we're looking for you Bi- Paperboy" Finney stopped himself, remembering what he said in the basement, he didn't know if he still wanted to be called Billy or Paperboy.

"We're glad we found both of you though" he finished.

Billy nodded "So what now kid? You found us"

Finney frowned a bit "I don't know, but we should stay together if the grabber is still around"

"He isn't" Griffin spoke up for the first time.

They all looked at the smaller boy and he seemed to chuckle out of nervousness.

"I checked, i went to the house both of them nobody was there the doors were even unlocked so i went in for myself then left that's when he found me" the boy gestured to Billy.

Now that confused them all, the grabber wasn't there anymore but they all remembered what happened?

What kind of freaky fucking fever dream is this?

"What the hell were you thinking? Going to that house, so what if he wasn't there it was fucking stupid of you to go because what if he was there?"

Vance the ever knowing mood changer Hopper.

Griffin laughed nervously again and and looked anywhere but at the blonde " I don't know what i was thinking" he admitted

"Yeah i can fucking see that only an idiot would go back to the house of their kidnapper" Vance kept going on.

Billy spoke up then "Leave the kid alone, he's here with us now and did us a favor by checking"

"Yeah man just leave him alone" Bruce agreed.

Vance glared at all of them "No i won't, he could have gotten hurt or fucking killed if that asshole was still there" he then grabbed Grffin by the collar of his shirt.

The smaller boy scrambling to get away but Vance yanked him closer "You got some fucking death wish kid? Getting killed once ain't enough for you so you went back to that house?"

"Leave him alone!"

"Let go of him!"

"Stop it!"

"Vance!"

The boys all said simultaneously.

Griffin shook his head "No i just-"

"You just what? Thought it was a good fucking idea to check if he was there? Knowing what would have happened if he was there? You wanted to repeat what happened all over again" Vance questioned practically shaking Griffin by the collar of his shirt.

"No- of c-course not-" Griffin stuttered.

Vance didn't get nuch else out as Robin and Bruce practically yanked him off the poor boy.

Billy held Griffin up from behind while glaring at Vance.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Saying all of that shit? He's just a kid like the rest of us, so what he didn't think it through but he's here now so what does it even matter" he gritted out.

"Yeah man, you didn't have to go ballistic on him" Bruce said.

"So what? He could've gotten killed! So fucking what if he's here now there was still that chance he wouldn't have been if the grabber was still there. If was a dumb fucking idea use you got no fucking survival instincts?" Vance spit out as he pushed the other two off him.

This was a disaster, even more than before.

"Everyone just calm down, it doesn't matter anymore he's safe and the grabber isn't here. Yes he could have gotten hurt but he didn't" Finney said, going between them all, trying to diffuse the situation.

Vance looked just about ready to kill him but he just scoffed "Whatever"

It took them a minute to all calm down, Bruce and Robin keeping a eye on Vance.

Billy making sure Griffin was ok.

And Billy's dog wagging their tail like nothing had happened, wow this dog was truly unbothered.

"So if the grabber wasn't there what do we do now? Im sure we all remember what happened" Bruce spoke up eventually.

What could they do? The grabber wasn't there that didn't mean they didn't experience the tramua they went through.

Yeah that thought was quickly cut short when a black van drove pass them...

The same black van they all knew.

The watched silently as it slowly drove out of sight.

They all looked at Griffin who look pale, terrified even.

"I-i- but he wasn't at the house, i checked! B-both of them!"

Griffin wasn't lying, they could all tell.

But what the fuck happens now?

A/n: Finally got that over with, honestly thinking about leaving this cliffhanger

[tsukishumai]

pairing: Bokuto Kotaro x gn!reader

summary: whoever said being adult was fun obviously never had bills to pay. so when Akaashi offers up a way to earn cash fast, you jump at the opportunity. except, you never thought you’d find yourself modeling in your underwear... least of all with Bokuto Kotaro

wc; 3k+

tags; fluff, humor, college au, mentions of very slight nudity

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

If anyone else other than Akaashi offered you this position, you would probably punch them right in the face.

Maybe he considers this payback for all the times he’s had to listen to you whine about your problems during your shared shifts at the cafe, or maybe this truly was his own sadistic way of attempting to provide support.

“Okay, so I know a way you can make easy money,” he started, and already those words should have sent alarm bells ringing in your head, but this was Akaashi. You’ve only really known him for a short time, but already you knew he wouldn’t lead you astray.

But really, the electronic shop five blocks from campus told you it would cost 55000 yen to repair your laptop monitor, so you weren’t exactly in a position to be picky. 

You had also been complaining to him for the past forty minutes -- about the broken laptop, the leaking faucet in your apartment, the textbook that cost you more than your groceries for the past month, the two hours of sleep you got last night, and your paychecks that were all but depleted once the bills were paid. He remained tightlipped throughout your whole tirade, so you suppose the least you could do was hear him out. 

“You’re not trying to sell my kidneys, right…” You mumble sarcastically, but you tilt your head to him anyway to show you were listening.

“No, sadly, it’s not quite the season for kidneys yet,” Akaashi delivers in a flat tone, “So you’re just going to have to deal with modeling.”

“Modeling?” Your reaction was harsh and loud, and you flinched away from the piercing glares of cafe regulars trying to study in peace. 

Akaashi smirks as he wipes down the steamer before replying, “Don’t worry, it’s not the kind of modeling you’re thinking.”

Your mouth dropped, and you raised an eyebrow as you crossed your arms, scoffing at Akaashi incredulously. 

“Are you trying to send me to a nudie shoot?!” you whisper in almost-mock offense, but now a part of you was a little worried that your favorite coworker was a secret pervert.

To your utter relief, Akaashi just laughs. “God, no. Well, I guess, kind of?”

At this point, your head was beginning to spin. “What do you mean kind of? Just spit it out already, Akaashi.”

Akaashi finally finishes cleaning off the coffee machine just as you finished replenishing the pastry displays, and in an unusual lull in customers, he’s able to lean against the bar and give you his undivided attention.

“My art professor pays the models for her figure drawing class a pretty decent amount of money, I think,” Akaashi tells you, and your eyes begin to sparkle. “She mentioned a couple of slots being open.”

“Really?” your interest was immediately piqued, “How much money?”

Akaashi shrugs. “Enough to strike at least one problem off your list, probably.”

That was all you needed to hear. Akaashi had given you his professor’s contact information, and you sent her an email the second you had clocked out of your shift. 

Professor Nobuta was a kind woman who emailed you back with such haste, you could feel her desperation matching yours. She was candid during the entirety of your exchange, saying that her usual model had dropped out last minute and there was a spot in her class tomorrow that she needed to fill as soon as possible. Lucky for both of you, you were actually available, and details were exchanged swiftly. 

As you read over the requirements, your eyes roved over two words in a section of the email that made your eyes bulge out of your head. 

Semi Nude. 

You blinked once. Then twice. 

You had already formulated a kind rejection in your mind, ready to type your response when another section caught your eye. You inwardly groaned, dropping your head into your hands. 

She was offering you almost as much as two shifts at the cafe. 

That, alone, was enough to convince you, but the look of relief on Professor Nobuta’s face when you walked through the doors of her classroom was confirmation you made the right decision.

The seats around the classroom were nearly all filled, some students preparing their materials across their desks, and others sitting back and scrolling through their phones. The whirring of the A/C had filled the room with white noise, and you take notice of the two empty stools in the middle of the room.

“Thank you so much for signing up, L/N-san,” Professor Nobuta bowed profusely, and she gestured to a table for you to leave your things. “We’re still waiting on the other model, so take your time, and have a seat on the stool when you’re ready.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, and Professor Nobuta makes her way back to her desk. You briefly wonder if she was going to point you in the direction of a changing room, but realized the redundancy when everyone in the room was meant to stare at your half naked body anyway. 

You begrudgingly peeled off your clothes, folding them neatly before placing them in a pile on the table. Your footsteps made hardly any noise as you walked across the room, desperately trying hard to act nonchalant. 

Just as you took a seat in one of the empty stools, you heard someone pull the door open and loudly clamber inside.

“Ahh, welcome back, Bokuto-san!”

Your eyes widened at the name the professer had just yelled across the room. You brace yourself as you quickly whip your head around, and standing by the door sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck was Bokuto Kotaro. 

Student Athlete, Volleyball Star, Most Wanted Bachelor Bokuto Kotaro smiled brightly as he skipped to the table your items were placed, apologizing profusely for being late. All eyes followed him like moths, and Bokuto was the bright flame. Everyone knew him, and you often saw him walking across the quad, always greeting at least twenty people on the way. 

You could hardly hear what Professor Nobuta was saying to him, and you were now unabashedly staring as Bokuto began to strip out of his clothes. 

Bokuto was built like a marble statue -- hard lines that traveled across his chest and traced his abs must have been painstakingly carved with the utmost care by a masterful artist, and every movement he made created new shapes along his muscled body. You found yourself instantly wishing you had even an ounce of artistic talent, because it was no doubt that Bokuto was every figure artists’ dream. 

All at once, your vision was filled with gold and a sweet smile, and too late did you realize you had just been caught staring. Bokuto’s eyes don’t leave yours as he stands up straight, and struts over to you in nothing but a pair of nude briefs. 

“Alright, everyone, your timed session is about to begin,” Professor Nobuta’s voice had startled you nearly out of your seat, and you turn your head back to face the class, cringing inwardly when you noticed some were smirking at you, “Feel free to request poses from the models, as this will be a graded assignment. We only have an hour and a half, so make the most out of your time.”

You feel your body stiffen as Bokuto takes the empty seat next to you, staying silent when you feel his eyes staring at you. You might have been able to ignore this in another setting, but at the moment, about fifty students were watching him watching you -- eyes flitting up the stage down to their sketchbook as they try to decide where to begin. 

Envy coursed through you as the room began to fill with the sounds of graphite scratching against paper, wishing you could switch positions with literally anybody else in the room. You tried to relax your body against the stool, awkwardly attempting to find a natural position for your arms when you were interrupted by a throat clearing. 

Your head turns to the side, heat rushing to your face when you see Bokuto smiling at you.

“Hi,” he greets, his voice a direct contrast against the silent concentration filling the room, “I’m Bokuto!”

His knees were bent as he settled his feet on the first ring of the stool. He rests an elbow on his thigh so he can place his chin on the palm of his hand, giving you an expectant look as he waits for your response. You try to avoid the way his chest seemed to bulge even more in this position, but the furious sound of sketching says you weren’t the only one to notice.

“Bokuto Kotaro,” you say his name back, and he pulls his lips back into an even wider smile, “I know.”

You bite your lip when a student from the back requested for you to cross your legs, resting your hand against your thighs. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to be talking, but Professor Nobuta didn't seem to be paying either of you any mind. 

He hadn’t said anything to you after that, but the grin remained on his lips as requests begin coming in from students across the class.

They were all fairly simple -- please position your hand like so, could you extend your leg this way, or turn your head that way. The first twenty minutes had been spent doing individual tasks and repositioning, and soon you felt yourself relaxing into your role. Your previous jitters had all but dissolved, and you figured if the rest of the session were to go on like this, then you’d be golden. 

Your eyes shift over to Bokuto, who was leaning back with such easy grace, balancing himself with his foot against the footrest. The way his body created such naturally eloquent lines made it seem as if he was born to be a sculpture, to be admired and gazed at, to invoke inspiration and creation. You weren’t sure anyone in this room was even looking at you anymore, with Bokuto acting as if he was the lighthouse in a storm, beckoning all of you to come home. 

He turns his head a second too quickly, winking when his eyes meet yours, and for the second time in less than an hour, you realize you’ve just been caught checking him out. 

Your dignity was slipping through your fingers like sand, and you clear your throat before turning your attention to a poster on the wall.

From the corner of your eye, you see Professor Nobuta stand from her desk and making her way to a student in the corner. The two whisper among each other, and you watched as the professor consults with other students before nodding her head and turning to the both of you. 

“I received a sort of direction from a few students,” she began, beckoning for the both of you to stand, “They were hoping you could do some more intimate poses.” 

You balked, nearly choking on the air in our lungs. “I-intimate?”

Professor Nobuto nodded her head enthusiastically, and you exchanged a look with Bokuto. 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with — an embrace, hand holding, hands on each other’s face — get creative with it!” 

And with that, the professor sits back down on her desk and begins flipping through her phone, and the two of you are left to brace the expectant looks of the art students staring up at you. 

“This your first time?” Bokuto asks you gently, a sort of sympathetic look on his face as his eyes study your stiff posture. 

“Yeah,” you admit, and he coaxes you towards him with an outstretched hand. You hesitantly place your fingers in his palm, and for a moment, he just stood there. It took a minute for the sounds of rapid sketching to register in your brain, and you realize he’s allowing the class to take note of this pose. 

He’s standing directly across from you now, and you can feel his gaze burning trails across your body as he regards you from head to toe. You feel like an ant burning under the beam of a microscope, and you nearly burst into flames when he chuckles. 

“Nice peach,” Bokuto comments, and you nearly recoil back in surprise. The last thing you had expected from Bokuto was a comment like that, but then you notice his eyes flick back down to your underwear. 

The professor’s email hadn’t included too many rules or requirements. She only included the most important details, such as time, place, pay, dress code, and such. Stated in the dress code, you were allowed to wear undergarments of any neutral color. Today, you had chosen a simple pair of black underwear and figured it was the safest choice.

You hadn’t, however, noticed the large cartoon peach that had gracefully adorned the back of it, complete with a cartoon face that winked sparkles. Now that you were forced to stand, and the entire class got a good view for themselves. 

“Thanks,” you deadpan through gritted teeth, “It’s pretty juicy if you asked me.” 

Bokuto fails miserably to hide a smirk, but his eyes sparkled with amusement as he looked down at you. 

A few minutes (or eternity) later, his hand closes around yours, pulling it up to place against his cheek. He pulls you in by the other wrist, wrapping your arm around his waist as he cups the side of your neck. His other arm wraps almost completely around your middle, and he pulls you flush against his chest. 

His body was hard against yours, and you had no doubts he could feel your heart’s hundreds of beats per second. He tilts his head to the side ever so slightly, and you hope he doesn’t notice the sheen of sweat beginning to collect on your upper lip. 

A fire was bound to be started with how quickly everyone around began to move their pencils, and you heart races when Bokuto absentmindedly draws circles on your skin with his thumb. 

He holds you in this embrace for much longer than you anticipated, and the butterflies in your stomach were making you nauseous. His eyes are trained on your face now, the intensity of his stare making you want to shrink back, but you hold your place and return his gaze. 

His eyes narrow and squint, eyebrows wiggling as his face scrunches up in thought. 

“Do I know you?” Bokuto asks, and it was in this moment where you felt your stomach flip flop into the abyss. It was the one question you had hoped he wouldn’t think to ask you. 

Because you did know Bokuto Kotaro, but not in the way everyone else on campus knew him. 

You remember clearly the slow, dreary Wednesday morning when Akaashi Keiji asks you the same thing. 

“Uh, yeah? Of course, you know me, we’re coworkers,” you replied sarcastically, and Akaashi insists it was more than that. 

“You’re hiding something from me,” he simply states, and you inwardly thanked the customer that had walked and interrupted that moment.

But you should have known that Akaashi was not one to let things go, and after being berated the entire shift about how secrets don’t keep friends, you finally confessed.

You were a student at Fukurodani. 

Akaashi didn’t believe you. There was no way, how was that possible? He would have recognized you. But you were the year above him, and had actively avoided school sports. Because as much as you would have liked to watch your school’s Nationally Ranked Volleyball Club play and compete with super hot athletes from across the country, there was one glaring reason why you couldn’t. 

You had confessed to Bokuto Kotaro in your first year. 

And you were soundly, and absolutely rejected. 

He had every right to, of course. You were just his classmate, you didn’t even know each other that well, and he needed to focus all his attention on volleyball. It made sense.You know that now.

But to your young heart, it was world ending, soul crushing even, and it took you two years to get over your ridiculous one-sided crush. 

Now here you were, standing in front of a group of people in nothing but your underwear, with Bokuto staring at you like a fly caught in a trap.

“No, I don’t think so,” you respond, and Bokuto scoffs. 

“You’re a bad liar,” he whispers, and you find yourself grinning. 

“How would you know?” You whisper back, “You just met me.” 

“No, I definitely know you —“ 

“Alright, everyone,” Professor Nobuto announces with a smack on her desk, “That about does it for today’s session. Give some thanks to your models!”

You jump back from Bokuto as the class offers a light round of applause. The two of you bow back, and you rush over to the table as the professor approaches Bokuto. 

You leave the two of them to chat as you hurriedly put your clothes back on, hoisting your bag up on your shoulder, and nearly falling over putting your shoes on.

“Thank you for today,” Professor Nobuto sneaks up from behind, a smile on her face as she hands you a blank white envelope, “I hope I see your name on the sign up sheet again.”

You offer her a grin as you accept the envelope. “Thank you for the opportunity!”

And with that, you rush out of the stuffy room and make a bee line towards the door. 

“Hey, Peaches!” Bokuto’s voice makes you freeze from across the room, and you turn around to see him adorned only his pants. “You never told me your name?” 

With a smirk, you put your hand on the handle, walking out the door as you yelled over your shoulder. 

“I thought you said you knew me!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“That was a trap, wasn’t it,” you accuse Akaashi as soon as you see him again, walking into your shift at the café just as he was about to clock out. 

His smile was almost evil, punching out as he gathers his jacket. 

“Whatever could you possibly mean, dear coworker,” he replies, and you smack him on the shoulder. 

“You had to have known Bokuto was doing that,” you seethe, glaring at Akaashi, “And you knew about… about… you’re dangerous, Akaashi Keiji.” 

He laughs, waving you off, “You said you needed help, so I offered help.”

“Oh, you conniving little —“ 

“Akaashi, you ready?” A familiar voice cuts you, making your head twist towards the door. 

A set of white and black streaked hair, a devilish grin, bright twinkling eyes — your nightmare in human form walking in. 

His eyes widen as they meet yours from across the room, and he waves a hand in the air as if you could have possibly missed the six foot three volleyball player barely fitting through the door frame.

“Hey, Peaches!” He greets cheerfully, walking and leaning against the counter, “Fancy running into you here.”

“Peaches?” Akaashi asks, and your eyes shoot him a nasty glare. 

“I work here,” you reply, and Bokuto’s eyes widen. 

“Akaashi, why wouldn’t you tell me you have such a cutie for a coworker?!” He demands of his best friend, who simply rolls his eyes and heads out the door. 

“Let’s go, Bokuto-san!”

“Akaashi! Hey, wait,” Bokuto runs one step to the door but stops and turns back, “If I come back tomorrow, you gonna tell me your name then?” 

You laugh. “I don’t work tomorrow.” 

“I’ll ask Akaashi for your schedule then!” He screams as he runs out the door. 

The smile on your face stayed on for the rest of your shift. 

[missblissy]

Hi!! I want some pain so the Hurt/comfort post, about Alastor x reader with 1, 2, 4, 12??

((Of course Nonny!! Sorry for such a wait!! I've got a lot of these to work on lol. REMEMBER!! REQUEST ARE CLOSED RIGHT NOW, EVERYONE!! IF YOU SEND ONE IN I WILL NOT DO IT! I've had a few other people send some in and I'm sorry to say I have to delete them. I do not have any more room to take any more prompt requests. Thank you everyone for understanding! NOW.... Enjoy the Modern!AU Angst >:D))

1: “We need to stop the bleeding – now!” 2: “I hate to see you hurt like this.” 4: “I want to help you, so please let me.” 12: “You’re normally the tough guy. Today, let me be tough for the both of us.”

Something about today had felt off. Ever since you woke up, it just felt... not right. As if your mind already knew what was going to happen before it actually did. But no one can really know that for sure. That's why it's called a gut feeling. And that feeling told you that today... You might just die.

You've tasted blood before. But for some reason this time it tasted sweet, rather than bitter, and full of iron. There wasn't much for you to focus on other than the lights from the ceiling flickering over your head. You faintly heard a doctor screaming, "We need to stop the bleeding! BP is dropping- Let's go! Now!"

How did you end up here again, violently broken and bleeding out? Oh, that's right... You were driving home after work. It was another late shift during the dead hours of the night. Drunk drivers were often out during these hours of the night. One just so happened to hit you, and now you're here in a hospital.

You just wanted to go home and sleep. You wanted to lay beside your husband and not have to worry about anything. That was not your case, however. And instead, you tried your best to speak. A nurse who was pushing you along the gurney said, "It's alright, we'll help you, you're safe now." But all you wanted to do was ask about your husband. For someone to tell him what was going on. You were sure he was at home, sleeping soundly and without a clue what had happened.

And Alastor wouldn't find out until the next morning. He'd wake up to several missed calls from dozens of people and some he didn't even know. This man didn't even get dressed. He ran out of the house still in his pajamas and floored it to the hospital. Along the way there, Alastor would throw a massive fit. He'd smash his hands on the steering wheel, beating himself up over not getting there sooner.

He'd curse and swear and honestly drive like a maniac. Every red light he got caught at only made him angrier with the world. His tires would spin and shoot smoke the second the light flickered green and off he rushed again.

Luckily, you were out of surgery long before Alastor got to the hospital. A nurse walked him to your room, and he found himself staring at a sight he'd never imagine. You were broken beyond belief. The nurse gave Alastor a sorry look, "Everything's stable, for now," The nurse said, "But...." She shook her head, "It was one of the worse car accidents we've ever seen. We did everything we could-"

"Coma..." Alastor said the single word, "Induced or?" The nurse shook her head.

"Brain damage, though there is still plenty of brain activity," That was good to hear. It meant you weren't brain dead... yet. The nurse gave him a sorry look, then with a nod of her head, she left him there. Alastor slowly walked into your room and closed the door behind him. He even turned all the blinds so no one could see in the little windows from the hallways. Everything felt wrong.

He stood at your bedside. Taking in everything. The tubes, the machines, the wires. Almost immediately he felt his eyes burn with the threat of tears. And when he placed a hand on your cheek he couldn't stop the waves of them rushing down his face.

The sheer pain of the situation made Alastor sob like a child for the first time in his adult life. He sat down beside you and grabbed your hand, "Dammit..." He squeezed tightly, "Dammit!" He let out a little shout and brought your hand to his cheek, "I hate this-" He let out a small cry, "I hate to see you like this, my poor dear-"

He couldn't stop the waves of tears sobbing from his eyes. He'd never let himself cry like this before, but he felt like if he didn't cry, he wouldn't have the chance to later. With anger, he ran a hand over his face, aggressively wiping his tears. He threw his glasses off his face and they clinked to the floor. Alastor's fingers ringed into his hair as he let out another sob and pushed his bangs out of his face. He had completely lost all of his composure. Every part of him was breaking down.

Alastor sat down in the chair by your bedside and buried his head in one of his hands. With his other hand, he still held firm to yours. His fingers dug into your skin as let out another sob, "Please-" He hiccuped, "Please...!" He looked up at your unconscious face with watery dark eyes, "Please be okay," He whispered the words out quickly as he brought your hand to his lips, "Please let me help you-" He spoke the words against your skin, "I want to help you- Please let me... Just!" He paused for another quick sob, "Please just give me a sign your still in there..."

He was never a man to pray to any kind of god. He didn't believe there was one, to begin with. But Alastor found himself praying, hoping that anything would happen. He couldn't lose you, and certainly not like this. You never sign any DNR papers or made it clear to your doctors that you didn't want to be resuscitated. But you did tell Alastor if there ever came a day that you needed machines to keep you alive, you had asked him to pull the plug.

With the weight of what was once just a silly conversation that had now come true, Alastor found himself drowning in misery. He rested his head on the back of your hand as sat in his chair. He looked at his glasses on the ground as tears splattered around them, "I don't want to kill you," He whispered with a cry, "I don't want to unplug you if there is a chance you'll come out of this."

The stone-cold silence lasted only a second between the beats of your heart monitor. A beep, then silence. Another beep, then silence again. Alastor found himself swelling with rage and anger, but mostly sadness. He shook his head slowly as he stared at the ground. This can't be happening... He thought This has to be a dream... This-

Something sounded off. The beeps were getting... faster? Alastor looked up and stared at the monitors. He didn't understand any of them, there were so many, but something was happening. He watched numbers flicker and change when suddenly he felt a tug at his hand.

You didn't make a sound or hardly move but you're squeezed his hand. Alastor had never been so hopeful for something so small. He shot out of his chair with enough force to tip it over behind him.

"Darling!?" Alastor firmly gripped your hand and leaned over you. He let his free hand brush your hair out of your face as he asked, "Darling, please, for the love of god- Can you hear me?"

He waited, and waited some more. Suddenly her felt your hand squeeze him again while he searched your face for any signs, "oh my god-" He whispered to himself as he watched your face twitch with pain before your eyes flickered open. With lightning speed Alastor ran to the door of your room and swung it open, "Someone get a nurse!" He shouted into the hallway, "Please!" He ignored most of the odd stares he was getting.

It wasn't a second later that a small team of nurses rushed in to check on you. You had certainly woken up and the tubes down your throat were not comfortable at all. The intubation tubes were removed, along with the feeding tubes, while others updated your stats. Alastor waited nervously in the corner of the room as he watched a team of people work over you. He felt so helpless that he couldn't watch for long. He'd leave the room and wait in the hallway, trying his best to ignore the painful coughs and groans as tubes were pulled out of your throat.

When the nurses left, Alastor quickly went back into the room and to your side. You had only just started breathing on your own again. It was much harder to breathe than ever before, but you still managed. You were still groggy, swore, and very much in pain. Despite this, you still let the smallest and weakest smile crawl along your lips, "Hey..." Was the first thing you said to your husband.

You watched as Alastor's eyes flickered all over your form. From the casts, the pins, the cuts, and bruises. He searched your face for serval minutes than began a weak laugh that sounded similar to a cry, "H-hey..." He said with a long sigh, he even tried to wear a smile that just didn't sit right on his face.

"Al..." You raised a weak and tired hand to his face. He immediately pressed his cheek into the palm of your hand and shook his head, "I'm sorry," You said. But you had nothing to be sorry for, you didn't cause this or intend for it to happen.

He couldn't say anything, Alastor was too caught up with his feelings. You watched him break down all over again as if he was still living with the fear that you might die, "Hey- hey," You raised your hand slightly and made him look at you, "I'm alright," It was hard to see him so broken down like this, "I'm okay, I'm here." You reassured him, "I'm not going anywhere."

Alastor shook his head quickly as if he didn't want to bother you with his feelings. He sucked in a quick gasp for air then sobbed out, "I'm not strong enough to deal with something like this- Ever-.... I can't lose you." He said quickly.

You couldn't really scoot over but thankfully the bed was rather large. You gave Alastor's arm a tug and he quickly climb in and curled up beside you. He was careful to stay clear of any broken bones as he made himself comfortable.

You stared at the ceiling while Alastor shut his eyes and buried himself into the crook of your neck, you used your free hand to comb his hair despite the pain it caused you to move, "That's alright," You finally told him, "No one is strong enough to deal with something like this. You're normally so tough and good at hiding your emotions. But you don't have to do that. I'm alive, I lived, I can be tough enough for the both of us, even if it's just for today."

Alastor curled himself as close as he could beside you. He wanted nothing more than to hide and forget about this day, he knew how impossible that was but he still wanted it. You could feel his tears running from his face and onto your skin. He couldn't stop crying when normally he never cried. He didn't even cry at his mother's funeral. Even though you were the one in the car accident, somehow you felt that Alastor was in the most pain.

"Please don't ever leave me," His voice was raspy and broken as he spoke against the skin of your neck.

With a sad and sorry look on your face, you did your best to pull him closer and wrap your arm around him. You pressed your forehead against his and you felt a set of tears drop from your eyes. You did your best to smile as you spoke, "I won't," You promised, "I'll never leave you, I'll always be here."

[in-ky]

An Old Scent [1] - Negan x Reader (A/B/O AU)

Summary: During summer break, you decide to come back home to visit your dad, Rick. Over the course of your stay, you realize that your dad's friend is pretty hot.

Warnings: Eventual smut, A/B/O dynamics, cheating, age gap, Negan

A/N: yay first fic! this will have four parts! i hope everyone enjoys. this is an au where the apocalypse never happened. 3.2k words

I squinted as I stepped out into the bright Virginian sun. People swarmed all around me, creating the steady hum of airport ambience that I had grown accustomed to over the years. I had just gotten off a four-hour flight home from college and all I wanted to do was shower and curl up in bed. But I couldn't. Oh, no. First I had to endure a fun thirty-minute car ride with my best friend since second grade. I scanned the curb in front of me for her small black car and caught sight of a tall woman waving at me. I grinned and walked forward, tugging along my baggage behind me.

"Ugh, it's so good to see you, Bee." I sighed as I enveloped my friend into a large hug. She let out a laugh and swayed us gently.

"It's good to see you, too," She hummed, rustling my hair "I forgot how short you were." Bee was an alpha; tall, muscular, and very quick to remind me of our differences. Of course, it was in a 'joking with love' kind of way. I was an omega; small, rounded, and very quick to punch her gently in the abdomen.

"I forgot how much of a jerk you are." I quipped, huffing and wheeling my bag to her trunk.

"Oh, come on, babes, don't be like that," Bee laughed, opening the driver side door and waiting for me to walk back to my side. "Now get in, we've got a lot of catching up to do."

---

"How are your heats going?"

"Jesus, that's what you want to start with?" I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. Bee shrugged.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," She clarified, turning out onto the street "I'm just saying, I know they've gotten pretty bad as we've gotten older. Did you try out those tips I sent you?"

"Yea, I did," I said quietly, looking at the trees rushing by on the side of the highway "They worked for a while but..."

"But you need an alpha," Bee sighed, finishing the sentence for me.

"That's the plan for this summer," I agreed "Might finally settle down."

"You know, I'm always here if you need me." She said with a wink. I scoffed at her.

"I'm not that desperate," I laughed, shoving her lightly "Not yet, at least."

"Anyone take your interest back in Colorado?"

"Not really," I hummed, tilting my head in consideration. "There was this one guy. We dated for a few months but towards the end he became a total knot-head. He couldn't keep his hands off me. I thought it was cute at first, but after I started to miss a few classes...well, that shit got old pretty quickly." Bee made a disgusted noise.

"Ugh, men," She grunted, wrinkling her nose "I'm glad I never went through that phase. I'm perfectly happy with chicks, thank you very much. Much less of a pain in my ass."

"Oh, they're not so bad," I smirked "I think it's just alphas in general." She glared at me momentarily and I stuck my tongue out at her. We drove in a comfortable silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company. That was always something I loved about Bee. We never had to fill every second with chatter, we could just exist together in the same space and be just as content. She started to hum along to the song that buzzed softly from the radio and my eyes tracked a hawk. Soon enough, we reached our exit and Bee turned the car onto a smaller road, starting the countdown to my arrival home.

"Are you excited to see your dad?" Bee asked, killing the silence.

"Yea, I am," I smiled. We hadn't always had the best of relationships, but the distance that college gave had done wonders for us. A few texts and calls had worked perfectly for us. When he invited me to stay a few weeks during summer I gladly accepted. I wanted to see just how well our relationship had strengthened. Plus I knew he really needed someone.

"How's he doing?" There was genuine concern in Bee's voice. A few months ago, my mom had revealed that she had been having an affair with one of dad's work buddies. She left with him and took my brother down to Georgia.

"I think he's okay. But you know dad, he's not really an emotions guy. He was starting to get some closure but then the divorce papers came in the mail. That really hurt him," I told her, twisting a strand of my hair around my finger. "I just don't know how Lori could do that to him, you know? She won't even let Carl up to visit. The new baby's cute, though. Looks just like Shane." Bee hummed in acknowledgement.

"Well, tell him I said hi, alright?"

"Will do." A few more seconds of silence passed. Until we stopped at a light. Bee looked up and spotted a billboard that sported a very familiar, very handsome face.

"Holy shit!" Bee shrieked, slapping my arm.

"Ow, what the hell?" I hissed, grabbing my shoulder. She pointed frantically at the sign.

"That guy! Isn't that, shit- the hell's his name?" Pulling my eyes from my lap, I let them settle on the object of her excitement. All of the color drained from my face. It was an add for a law firm. There was an old geezer posing proudly on the left, and to his right, was the man who haunted my wet dreams for the majority of high school.

"Negan." I gulped.

"Yea, your dad's hot friend you never shut up about." Bee groaned, pressing on the gas and moving us away from the sign. Negan was a lawyer/make-shift-law-professor and baseball coach at the local community college. He had a sort-of contract with my dad's department. Many times I had come home after school to the two of them puzzling out a case on the kitchen table. Negan was an alpha of alphas, something that got my little omega heart (and other things) pumping until I couldn't breath. His humor and dominating persona made me blush a deep crimson color any time I saw him. Sometimes I would spend hours sitting on the stairs just listening to him talk to my dad. His voice was something else. I had gushed to Bee about him countless times during our times at high school. But I hadn't seen him since my graduation party.

"I wonder if you'll see him again," Bee teased, nudging me again to pull me out of my trance of memories. Then, she did a dramatic gasp. "What if he's your mate?" It was my turn to slap her in the shoulder.

"He's older than my dad!" I squealed, burying my now-blushing cheeks in my hands.

"You're an adult I don't think it matters."

"I think he's engaged."

"Just 'cause there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't scoooore." Bee pulled a face at me and I returned her grimace.

"Whatever, you're lucky we're almost at my house." I huffed, falling back into my seat with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Oh, yea, omega? What are you gonna do?" I rolled my eyes as she laughed off my grumpiness. We rolled to a stop in front of my driveway and a leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks so much, Bee, I really appreciate you," I grinned, popping open the door.

"No problem, babes," She winked, unlocking the trunk "But I swear to the gods, you better fucking call me and give me updates on everything, especially if you run into Mr. Hotcakes." I rolled my eyes once more and promised her I would before closing the door. I retrieved my bag and gave her a wave as she drove down the street. When she was out of view, I took a deep breath and turned around, walking up the driveway to the front door.

I knocked heavily on the dark oak door. While I waited for someone to answer, I decided to look around at the home I had left behind about a year ago. My childhood home had changed now and then over the years, but there were still some iconic pieces of memories in the front yard that could never be forgotten. My personal favorite was Eddie the garden gnome. He was a standard gnome: small and stout with a large white beard that led into a pointy red hat. His eyes were shut and his mouth was curved into a smile. However, he was missing a nose. I grinned as I recalled the unfortunate mishap that caused Eddie to become deformed. I was about twelve, and carl was five. He had gotten a kid's baseball from Negan for his birthday and had begged me to teach him how to play, since I was on the local softball team at the time. I relented and set it up in the front yard. Eddie was our outfielder. Eddie didn't have a mitt. Well, he did, but it was his face. Carl absolutely smashed the first pitch I tossed at him and hit poor Eddie right in the face, shattering his round, pink nose into pieces. Carl bursted into tears and I had to promise him that he did not in fact kill our precious protector of our house. Lori ran out frantically and comforted her son before giving me a thorough chewing out for damaging Eddie. We never used the set again. That she knew of, anyways. Negan always let us play in his yard, though. I smiled at the memory, but the clicking of the lock to the door pulled me from my train of thought. The door swung open and I was met with the smiling face of my father.

"Sweetie, I'm so glad you made it!" He laughed, pulling me in swiftly and squeezing me tight.

"It's good to see you too, dad." I croaked, letting out a small chuckle. I tapped on his shoulder as a signal for him to let go.

"How was the flight?" He asked as he stepped out to grab my bag. I told him it was good but that the screaming kids had given me a bit of a headache. He gave a small laugh and gestured for me to enter. I thanked him and he rolled my bag in behind me. We exchanged a few words but as soon as I walked through the kitchen into the doorway of the living room I was hit by a wall. Not literally, no, but rather a wall of overwhelming scent. It was a delicious swirl of campfire and whiskey, with a hint of cigarettes and leather. I paused for a moment, my eyes forced closed and my lungs taking a deep breath of the intoxicating air. Colors danced across my eyelids. My whole body was flooded with warmth and my toes tingled. I felt safe and calm, and there was something else; something deep within my stomach that I couldn't quite identify, something I never felt before. My eyes snapped open when I felt my father's hand rest firmly on my shoulder.

"I hope you don't mind, sweetie, but I invited company over while I was waiting for you to arrive," He smiled at me. I got a good look at him then. He looked the same, his hair was a bit longer, a bit greyer. But his eyes were different. They were darker, rounder, rawer. I gave a soft smile and told him it was fine. He guided me into the living room. It was then I realized where that deadly smell was coming from. Or, rather, who it was coming from. "Negan, you remember my girl." In that moment, I held my breath as I scanned Negan. He looked fucking amazing, just as he always had. Perfect dimples guarding a charming smile, all surrounded by a gorgeous salt and pepper beard. His hair was longer than it was when I had left, not slicked back, but it still framed his face perfectly. Negan's body was draped casually over the sectional couch, legs crossed at the ankle on the ottoman. His arms were on the top of the couch and his wrists were dangling. He knew he was hot. That bastard. I suddenly became aware of his eyes raking over my form and I shifted from one foot to the other.

"'course I do, Rick," Negan said, voice silky and deep. I couldn't help but let a small shudder run down my spine. All I wanted to do was kneel down in front of him and curl up at his feet. I forced my inner omega down, shaking the thought from my head. "How could I forget the little slugger?" I cringed inside at the nickname. Especially the use of the word 'little'. I begged that he didn't still see me as the kid down the street. Instead as a grown woman. A grown omega.

"Hi, Negan." I greeted with a small smile, swallowing to relieve my dry throat. Now that I was next to him, his scent was clogging all my senses. I gripped onto the couch and lowered myself onto the cushion, hoping to ground myself. It helped, just barely. My heart was pounding, my instincts telling me to submit to this man in front of me. Why, though? Why now? He had never smelled this good before. No alpha had. Was I getting close to my heat? I did have a stomach ache, but that could be from Negan alone.

"Hey, sweetheart. How's college goin'?" Negan asked, sipping on his drink. He kept eye contact with me the whole time. Rick handed me a glass of soda and I thanked him.

"It's good!" I said after taking a sip, thankful for the hydration in my coarse throat "Towards the end it got a little hectic, but I was able to stay on top of everything, thankfully."

"You're studying film, right?" He asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"That's right," I grinned, crossing my legs to relieve some of the pressure the movement caused to build up in my lower abdomen "You still teaching law?" This caused him to chuckle. Literally music to my ear.

"If that's what you want to fuckin' call it." Negan sighed, falling back to his original position, hands resting in his lap "I talk, the kids kinda listen. I just do it for the coaching job, really. You remember how much I love that damn sport, right?"

"Baseball?" I asked, raising a brow "You mean the only thing you talked about at all of the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners you were invited to?"

"Touché." Negan grinned. Goddamn that smile. Butterflies erupted in my chest, beating hard against my ribcage, begging to throw myself at his chest and bury myself in him. Rick cleared his throat and smiled at me to get my attention.

"I want to know more about your college experience!" He beamed, rubbing a hand through his beard "Any special alphas you've got your eyes on?" I heard Negan choke slightly on his whiskey. A small bubble of pride rose in my chest. I laughed at his words.

"Dad, I don't think Negan wants to hear about my love life."

"Shit, doll, I don't mind," He grumbled "I don't get to hear any drama now-a-days"

"What do you mean?" I giggled, tilting my head "You argue for a living. Your job is to literally deal with drama."

"Yea, but that's complex drama," He growled, waving his hand dismissively "I wanna hear simple, schoolgirl 'he loves me, he loves me not' kind of bullshit."

"Well sorry to disappoint," I snorted, running a hand through my hair "but no, there's no one I have an eye on." Dad's smile turned into a frown.

"Shame." I heard Negan whisper. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it. It was quiet, barely above his breath, and he said it while twirling his whiskey, following the words with a large gulp.

"You really should start looking, dear." Dad said with a sigh "You know it only gets harder as you get older."

"Dad please, I don't..." I cut him off "Listen, I appreciate you trying to understand this stuff, I really do, but I don't really want to talk about it with my father." He looked at me with an understanding smile.

"Sure," He nodded "But if you ever need anything, anything at all, you just let me know, alright." I nodded.

"Well, this sure has been fun, Ricky-boy," Negan grinned, getting to his feet and stretching his arms far above his head. "We do have that big court case in the mornin', though, and I need my shut-eye."

"Big case, eh?" I asked, rising from my seat as well. Dad nodded and excitement sparked in his eyes.

"You should come! It's an open court and I would love for you to see what I do. I know you always wanted to as a kid, but your mom made you wait until you were older. Well, now's the perfect time!" He rambled, grasping my shoulders.

"W-Well, I dunno, I don't want to be a distraction," I stumbled, taken aback by my father's display of enthusiasm. I turned to Negan, as if asking for permission. He just laughed.

"Oh-o, doll, I don't get distracted. Not in there, not anywhere. Don't you worry about a goddamn thing. You should come, Rick seems like he really wants you to."

"Okay, then," I grinned, nodding in commitment "I'll see you there in the morning then." I looked up to Negan and we locked eyes for a brief moment. But in that moment, something within me quivered. He brushed up against me and smirked down at me.

"See you tomorrow, sweetheart. It was nice to see you. You're lookin' great." It took all my willpower not to let out a whimper as he walked past me, taking his glorious scent with him.

My dad said that he should also get some rest, but that I could stay up as long as I wanted to. I was pretty wiped from my flight so I opted to follow him up the narrow staircase, tugging my bag behind me. I hugged him goodnight and stepped into my room. It hadn't been touched since I left last summer. The forest green bedspread was still perfectly tucked into the mattress and two plump pillows were perched at the head of the bed. My muscles ached for the soft release of sleep. I put my suitcase down by my dresser, taking a moment to smile at some old photos of me and Bee as kids. I showered and brushed my teeth before getting into the comfortable bed. I looked up at the ceiling and giggled softly at the glow-in-the-dark stars shining overhead. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I wasn't thinking of anything in particular, but for some reason, all of my dreams were plagued by the sweet smell, sound, sight, feeling, and taste of Negan.

[misstressshelby]

The Good The Bad and Everything In-between

Summary: Living with two Shebly men has its ups and downs. A second part of my Lost Boy writing. (I suck at summaries)

Warnings: Language

Word Count:1,856

Paring: Tommy/Reader (Reader is GN but there is a slight refecne to pregnancy)

(A/N: I just want to say thank you for 50 notes on Lost Boy! I didn’t think anyone would he interested in a little headcanon I created. I guess we can all agree Finn deserved better. )

You longed for Arrow House even as it’s large gates came into view. Tommy planned to go eighty percent legitimate by the end of next year so that meant playing nice with the tofts. Spending all afternoon with the wives of Tommy’s business associates had drained you. You couldn’t remember if the pit in your stomach or the thumping in your head started before or after lunch.

All you knew was as soon as you entered the house you instantly felt better. Mary was waiting for you as usual. You had lived in Arrow House for a year now but still weren’t used to having maids around.

“Good afternoon Mrs.Shelby. How was your lunch?” Mary smiled as soon you walked in.

“Long Mary, very long.” You gave a tight smile back. Offering a ‘Thank You” as she took your coat.

Before you could ask her where the rest of your family was, Finn walked out of the living room. He was still wearing his school uniform he claimed to hate because it made him look like a “posh twat”. His tutor Mr.Chapman followed behind him shuffling papers into a briefcase.

“Hello, Finn, how's tutoring going?’ You asked.

‘Yeah, it’s alright.’ The redhead grunted back before moving to go outside.

“Are you finished with your homework?” You questioned already suspecting the answer.

“Nah I got a couple more pages but I wanna go to the stables. I’ll only be an hour I swear it.” Finn gave you the pleading look he’d mastered.

After considering it for a moment you nodded,” An hour Finn. Then you finish up your homework before dinner.”

The boy gave you half a hug on his way out. He had to lean down to capture you in his arms. He was only fifteen but he was already taller than you and your husband though Tom would never admit it.

Watching Finn run out the door you turned your attention to the tutor. The man was standing in the hallway fiddling with his bag uneasily.

“How is he doing Mr.Chapman?'' You finally addressed him.

“Well he’s doing alright I suppose.” He continued seeing your questioning stare. “He’s still struggling with a few concepts but he’s quick to figure things out.”

“Yeah, that’s the Shelby in ‘im” You chuckle to yourself. “Do we owe you for the week?

Shaking his head Mr.Chapman told you “No.No. Mr.Shelby already took care of it.’

Adjusting his satchel he quickly left out the same door as Finn. He never stayed long after their sessions.

Not giving it much thought, you headed straight to your husband’s office. He was already gone when you woke this morning and as silly as it was you missed him. After knocking against the door you pull it open before Tommy’s muffled “come in” could even start.

“Hello, Tommy, how ‘is your day going?” You greet him while making the short walk to his desk.

He looked up from his papers with a cigarette hanging off his lips to give a short “Busy.”, before writing again.

You didn’t let this deter you as you sat on the edge of his desk that wasn’t covered in files. Taking the cigarette from his lips you kissed him as if you had been deprived of him for months.

“The tutor just left. He said Finn is making good progress.” You informed him.

He watched as you took a drag off his cigarette with a glint in his eyes. Knowing you wouldn’t leave until he gave you the attention you demanded he leaned back in his chair.

“How was lunch with Minnie and Ida then?” He asked.

‘It was like every other boring lunch, we sat around and ate tiny food while they complained about the other wives. I've invited Minnie and Richard to dinner next Wednesday.”, You could feel your headache return as you told him.

Tommy gave you a curious look waiting for you to take another drag.

‘She was telling me Richard is looking into investing in the car business while it’s on the rise and all. So I figured we’d have them for dinner and if business happens to be brought up you two can talk about it.” You explain.

“So happens to be brought up?” Tommy teased.

“Yes, it usually happens at these things.” You tell him with a slight smile.

“Now you finish up whatever you’re doing. Dinner will be ready at seven.” You command slipping off the desk while putting the cigarette out in the ashtray.

Your husband let out a loud sigh which was never a good sign.

“Love, I have a lot of work to do ton-’ He started.

“Yes, and you can finish it when you come back from dinner.” You cut him off.

This was the ever-going battle in your home making Tommy stop working and take care of himself. But you’d be damned if you didn’t go down without a fight.

You lean over the side of the desk pulling him lightly by his silk tie into another kiss.

“Thomas Shelby, I will drag you out of this office. Don’t you think for a second I won’t.” You threaten him with a grin.

” Wouldn’t dream of it Mrs.Shelby.”, He smirked back.

At seven on the dot, you all sat down for dinner together as a family.

Finn talked for most of the dinner about school and his favorite football club going to the championship.

You mused about your plans for Minnie’s dinner Wednesday.

Tommy spent most of dinner listening, offering nods or the occasional “yeah”.

Once he and Finn started talking about a horse he wanted to buy for the races he didn’t stop. Long forgotten was the pile of contracts in his office.

For the first time since you woke this morning you were content. The moments you spent with your little family were the ones you cherished the most.

~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of a door slamming startled you awake. While the two voices yelling kept you from falling back to sleep. Before you could wonder what the fuss was about, an acidic taste overtook your mouth. You barely made it to the toilet, your knees hitting the hard floor as the bile rose. By the time you had emptied your stomach laying on the bathroom floor the screaming had stopped.

You couldn’t think about anything over the pounding in your head made worse from the buzzing of the lights. Making your way downstairs you noticed everything irritated you.

The fact that you tripped over Thomas’s shoes you had told him to put away last night. The coldness of the house even though there was a fireplace in almost every room. Even the way Mary greeted you with “Good Morning Mrs.Shelby.” seemed to drip with condescension.

As you reached the dining room you had a feeling the day was going to drag on forever.

Finn was glaring at his eggs while pushing them around his plate. Beside him, Tommy hid behind a newspaper with only a line of smoke to be seen.

The room was tense and you knew neither of the men would say anything first. Stubbornness also ran in the Shelbys.

“Do either of you want to tell what the fuck all the commotion this morning was about?” You snapped sitting in front of your own breakfast.

Finn gave you a glare before starting in,” Yeah Tommy won’t let me go to a football match with me friends. It’s fooking bullshit!”

In return, Tommy put down the paper with a sigh,” You’re not going to Manchester. I’m not discussing this again Finn.”

Both of them looked at you as if you had a say in the matter.

“If Thomas says no the answer is no Finn.” You settled.

“This is complete bollocks. You took me away from me friends in Birmingham and now I’m not allowed to have any friends here either?” Finn screamed standing up from the table.

“We never said you couldn’t have friends Finn. It’s just not the right time to go to Manc-” You tried to calm him down.

“ You’re not me fucking mother you can’t tell me what to do!” He slammed his chair against the table.

“You will not fooking talk too ‘er like that! This is me fooking house and what I say fooking goes.” Tommy said in a cold voice.

The table shook as he slammed his palm down on it, breaking his calm facade.

With that Finn stomped up to his room and Tommy to his office both slamming the door when they arrived.

Waking from a nap you had hoped would help with the sickness you felt you heard silence. You laid in bed for a bit longer feeling tears build up in your eyes. Instead of wallowing, you decided to make peace. You chose to try talking to the youngest first making your way to his room. You knocked on the door.

After waiting to hear a reply or shuffle come from the room you knocked again.

“Fuck off.,” Finn answered.

Ignoring him you opened the door anyway to find him lying on his bed still dressed from this morning. He simply turned away from you to face the wall instead.

You sat on the edge of the bed before trying to talk.

“Finn I know you don’t understand this but Tommy is just trying to keep you safe.” You started.

Finn scoffed and moved closer to the wall.

“I know you don’t know this because you’ve been so busy with school, but we’ve had some trouble in Manchester. There’s a gang up there the Scuttlers, who've been trying to move on us. We can’t protect you there Finn. That’s all it is.” Moving closer you put a hand on his shoulder.

``We're happy you’ve made friends at school really. It’s just one match yeah? You can hang out with them another time.” You tried reasoning.

“Yeah.” He grunted, not moving from his spot.

You decided you would take it before going to deal with the other man child.

You found Tommy sitting in his office chair finishing a drink before pouring another.

“ Who does he think he ‘is eh? Talking to me like that in me own fucking house. I should go up there and-’ Tommy began rambling pointing towards the door you just walked through.

“Tom, it's fine. I talked to him and explained everything. Just give ‘im a week and he’ll forget all about it.”You sat in the chair opposite of him.

Once you said that he seemed to relax a little bit.

“I’m still talking to ‘im later. He will not disrespect me or you like that again.” He told you.

To that, you chuckled, “ He’s a teenage boy Thomas he’s gonna argue. But I agree you should talk to him after you’ve both calmed down.”

Tommy nodded and took another swing of his whiskey. He walked over to where you sat leaning against the desk. To your surprise, he smiled.

“You’d make a good mum you know?” He leaned down to stroke your cheek.

“Yeah about that.” You let out.

[eartht137]

FOR THE BETTER

Hello and greetings to anyone that gets to read this. It is my first story. I wanted to try and see how this was received before continuing so please feel free to let me know how you like it. Please be easy on me it is my first one I am new to this, but I hope you like it. Its a bit slow right now but I swear the chapters will get going as we go along on this ride together. Okay *curvies* love ya! Enjoy!

Dark Clark Kent x (Black)!Plus Size Reader

SUMMARY: (I suck at them but here goes) After working miserable unfulfilling jobs, you decide to go back to school to pursue your dream in writing. You get the very handsome, very smart Mr. Kent as your English/Literature Professor. You've always stayed to yourself preferring to have your alone time and focus on your writing. Mr. Kent comes in to shake that way of thinking up and its all with your best interest at heart (well his best interest at heart){Cheesy, am I right?}

"For the weekend's assignment. Something very simple, almost high school level. Don't complicate it." Mr. Kent said dragging his feet to tell you all what the stupid assignment was.

"Get to the point." You thought out loud as you rested your head in your hand. He glared at you for moment before continuing. You felt your face flush, because-'no way he heard me' you thought.

"I want you all to write me a paper on...one thing you like about yourself and why." He rushed out. "I want you all to be as genuine as possible, if you're going to be journalists you have to capture your audience. If you can sell yourself, then you can sell a story. If you're a snooze fest......I honestly don't know what to tell you" He chuckled

Everyone groaned because why???

"Due next Monday on the dot. NO EXCEPTIONS!" He belted. "If you don't have your paper on Monday, you will stand up and give a 5 minute speech on said topic."

'What kind of teenage topic is this?' You thought.

"Don't give me lip guys, you signed up for this. I didn't make you do anything." He said pointing at all of you. "No complaining. Monday! Class dismissed." He announced causing everyone to scatter. You were just about out the door when he stopped you.

"Y/n, can you stay back for bit?"

"Yeah sure." You immediately got nervous. You weren't used to being singled out, you always managed to stay below the radar. You'd figured out ways to stay out of sight out of mind after always being criticized by your family, so getting asked to stay back wasn't a normal thing. You braced yourself for the "you can do better speech" and hoped it wouldn't take too long. You watched as the room emptied and he gathered his stuff.

"Come on, lets step into my office." He said leading the way with his hands full. "Have a seat." he said motioning to the chair in front of his desk. you sat feeling butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Literally everyone would've given anything to be where you were. Mr. Kent was almost mythical. You didn't know a day where you didn't think 'DAMN that man know he fine!' And you knew he knew it.

"Bet you think I'm gonna talk about your grades." he chuckled. "While I do require your improvement,"

'Require?' you thought hoping your face didn't covey your attitude.

"I wanted to talk about something else."

"O-kay?"

"I've notice, you're very um...to yourself, is everything-"

'Oh there it is.'

"Mr. Kent, please don't analyze me. I am a whole different breed of human. I don't do people."

"I'm sorry?" he asked tilting his head.

"I just value my alone time. You can't have that with people."

"You can still have space with other people in your life." he said shaking his head at you.

"I didn't say space, I said alone time, and that's not the same. That's still with people. Like, no." you said crossing you arms.

He stared at your for a second, the he began to laugh, and rub his eyes. "You really are something."

"Mm-hmm its true."

"I'm just saying its healthy to get out and socialize every once and awhile, not all the time, I mean-don't you get lonely sometimes?

"No, not really. I mean don't give me wrong I'm human. I get the urge to hang out, then I do, then I remember why I didn't want to do it in the first place." you said realizing you were almost ranting. He eyed you as if he didn't believe you.

"I tell you what, I know you say you're fine, but for my sanity, can we be friends? You know just someone to check on you, make sure you're okay? If-if you hate it by the end of the week then I'll let it go."

"Mr. Kent, no offense, but why do you care? I mean, you have your own life, I'm sure you got a nice family you should be there for, so like....I'm gonna need a it all to make sense."

"Its mean, don't get me wrong I enjoy solitude too, and its not because I don't like people," he chuckled, "but I know what its like to sometimes need someone I could just talk to when I really needed it most and not having it. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Its funny because it would always lead me home."

"Well that's the difference between you and me, there is no going back." you sighed. You contemplated it 'It couldn't hurt could it?' "Okay."

"Okay?"

"We can be friends." you resigned.

"Great!" he said clapping his hands together.

"Only til the end of the week." You said standing stretching. "So we good? Can I go?"

"Actually, what are you doing tonight? I mean, my ma is cooking dinner and-"

"Okay anything food related, I'm down." You cut him off.

"Good, well I'll pick you up at 6?"

"Yeah sure." You said trying to get away.

"Uh, Y/n?"

"Yes?" You asked sweetly.

"I'm going to need your address." He said knowing you knew he needed it.

You gave you your information and booked it out of there. You immediately went home and took a nap. The whole ordeal was a bit draining for you.

It was your phones constant vibrating that woke you out of a deep sleep. You let it ring a few more times before picking it up.

"What?" You groaned into the phone.

"Y/n are ready? I'm like 15 minutes away." Mr. Kent asked.

"Ready for what?"

"Food?"

"Food? Food! Oh shit!" You said jumping up remembering dinner plans. "I'll be ready when you get here." You said quickly hanging up and rushing to get ready. By the time you felt you looked decent enough, he called and told he was there. When you walked out to meet him, you saw his girlfriend was with him and you put on a small smile. 'Of course he has a girlfriend, why wouldn't he. Still a bummer though, oh well.' you thought to yourself as you walked toward them.

"Y/n this is Lois, Lois this is Y/n. Lois is one of the top editors at the Daily Planet." He bragged, and you immediately got nervous. You'd read her work and you'd give to be as good, even better at writing.

"It really is nice to meet you, Clark speaks very highly of you and your writing." she said smiling.

"Really? I mean writing is my passion, I'm aspiring to get at least in the door. I'm not an editor or professor, but I think I'm okay." You said realizing you were babbling on because of your anxiety.

"Be confident in your work. It shows when you really mean what you're writing about. It also shows when you're doubting yourself." She said smiling at you. You immediately liked her and hoped to get to know her for advice sometime. You all got in and they fell into easy chatter along the way. Every now and again they'd touch on a topic you'd find interesting or be excited about, and you'd really get into it, smiling and being expressive. You'd catch Clark staring at you, a bit shocked at how much you had to say after months of being so quiet, and you'd retreat like a turtle back into your shell. You tried to not enjoy being around them, but every now and again, you liked talking to people on your level. Every now and again, you'd get lost in the breeze of the night air. You'd look out and get lost looking at the stars and the moon out of the open window of the moving car. You get so lost you forgot the other two people in the car and you'd miss the glances Clark took at you through the rearview mirror. When you all arrived at his moms farm you practically gawked at all the land around. You driven by open field and corn fields, you'd never actually gotten to see it up close.

As you all got out, his mom stepped out and waved at you.

"Well, looks like we got extra family tonight." she said smiling. You immediately felt a bit awkward. "Oh dear don't be shy, any friend of Clark is family." She said pulling you into a big hug.

"Thank you for having me Mrs. Kent." You said smiling.

"No go on now you just call me Martha." she said smiling and leading you inside. "You two come along, you know the routine." She said waving Lois and Clark inside. Dinner was great, you even found yourself laughing out loud. It exhilarated you and scared you to have such a good time around other people. You almost, ALMOST, didn't want the night to end, but you missed your bed. As if reading your mind, Clark announced it was time to leave.

"Looks like someone is ready for bed." He chuckled.

"Yep, I miss my solitude." You said stretching. Clark shook his head at you.

"What?" You asked innocently.

You said your final farewells and got in the car heading home. The ride home was peaceful, there was a calm silence between you three and you smiled watching the love exchanges between the two. You could see how much he loved her and you could understand why, Lois was beautiful woman. Your mind jumped from reasons you weren't in a relationship, to the assignment Clark had given you for the weekend. One thing you like about yourself? That topic was always hard for you and you couldn't even begin to find the words to start. Over the years you'd tried hard to accept yourself, love yourself, and be who you were unapologetically, but the moment you got to the threshold of truly giving yourself a chance, all of the criticism, judgment, and years of being invalidated filled you with fear and dread and you'd go back to your shell and do what you did best. Stay in your own bubble. Tears stung your eyes as you tried to stomp down the voices of doubt and resentment, 'It's okay, I'm good, I do what I have to and I'm happy with it. I'm at peace.' you thought to yourself over and over.

"You okay?" Clarks deep voice full of concerned pulled you from your thoughts and you shook you head to bring yourself back to reality.

"Yeah, just trying to stay awake." you said avoiding his gaze. The ride continued in silence and you couldn't help but drift off. One moment you were letting the ride soothe you to sleep and the next you heard a voice cooing you to sleep.

"Shh shh shh it's okay" Clark whispered. You couldn't help but cover your eyes. You were in Clark's arms as he carried you to the apartment.

"Woah," you said trying to get out of his arms. He gently placed you on your feet like a flower.

"Hey, its okay, calm down." He said gently rubbing your arms.

"S-sorry, I've just never-"

"Had anyone carry you before." He said finishing your sentence. You shifted feeling a bit awkward.

"Well, thanks for dinner. Thanks Lois!" You waved at her before going to your door. "Goodnight." you said one last time as you got inside. During the weekend you were extremely restless and was finding it hard to concentrate long enough to work on your assignment. Even when you sat waiting for words to form in your mind you eventually got busy doing something different. The night before class, you had an idea pop in your head, and you decided to go for it. You just hoped it would all make sense, it was the only think your mind focused on.

[drakenology]

All Yours! - Kirishima Eijiro

“i’m all yours!” 

author’s note: this is pure filth ok? kiri is always written as a gentleman and I wanted to make him a slimey little cheater. tbh it was kinda hot. hope you guys enjoy this.

warnings: smut, angst, infidelity, fluff, fem!reader, phone sex , characters aged up! made up wife yall can give her a name if yall want lmao “she’s” just for the story. 

How can I put this? Sure, I loved my wife. She was with me when I was a nobody. Supported my dreams even when it meant I couldn’t be with her. But I can’t shake this feeling of regret. It’s almost as if I have married the wrong person. We stopped being intimate. She tenses up everytime I approach her. She doesn’t even look me in my eyes. She doesn’t love me anymore, I’m sure. I don’t think I loved her as much as I did when we first met. I was scared to tell her, scared to leave her. To be honest, I think we were both too chicken shit to sign those divorce papers.

Me and Katsuki talk about it all the time. He hypes me up over a few beers and when I get home I just lay dead next to her in bed, a huge wall separating our bodies from each other’s warmth even though we were so close. Our marriage was dying, withering away as we watched it fade. I don’t even bother telling her I’m leaving. I’m sure she has company over to fuck her while I’m gone. I caught her once.

He was amongst the higher ranks of Heros; I’ve seen him around before. He was on top of her, kissing her in the spots I used to kiss her. She seemed to be enjoying herself until I walked in. I was pissed. I pulled that guy off her and my mind went blank. I collect myself as she held me back from him. All I remember is her screaming. 

“It’s over! Don’t you get it!?” The pain in my knuckles snapped me out of it as I listened to her defend a man she hardly knew over me. He was knocked out on the ground, the pig naked and sweaty sporting a new blackeye courtesy of yours truly. I’ll never forget those words. We’ve been cheating on each other since that night. 

Tonight I was going to a bar with Katsuki and Kaminari, who wanted to get a few beers and maybe catch up a little. The both of them were pretty happy in their relationships. I never thought Bakugo would settle down. I’m watching my friends get into new and healthy relationships, while mine finds its impending doom. 

“Cheer up, Eijiro. I’m sure you’ll work up the courage to leave. It’s not working anymore, bro. I can see it in your eyes.” Denki says, taking a sip from his beer. I sigh and nod, only able to impishly agree. I was pretty upset. I spent a lot of good time with her. We made good memories. But it just didn’t work out. What went wrong? What happened? 

Bakugo grumbled about how I need to get over it, “Every woman in this joint would throw their fucking panties at you to have one night fucking a pro hero, don’t you get it? To be honest you should have left her that night you caught her cheating on you with that fucking side kick. Stop bein a coward and get it done.” I looked at him in shock but nonetheless he was right about me being a coward. I’d rather stay with her than try with someone new. Or so I had thought.

Time seemed to freeze when this woman walked into the bar with a few girls I was in the same class with in UA. She was quite possibly the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. She seemed so confident and walked with her head held high. She knew she was hot, and wanted to make sure everyone in the bar knew. She wore this skimpy little dress in red, red lipstick on her full lips to match. Why does she seem so familiar?

She walked by our table, her perfume seeming to lure me towards her to follow her wherever she went. I was drunk and looking for something or anyone to distract me from what was going on at home. It felt wrong but something in me couldn’t resist. I couldn’t help but stare at her long legs in that dress that seemed to hug and squeeze at every curve in her body. I just wanted to grab her and nail her on the nearest surface in this fucking bar. 

“Yo, you’re drooling, dude.” Denki says, waving his hand in front of my eyes. I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand away from my view. Something about this woman made me want to know more about her. I guess I could start with her name. I stood up from my seat and approached her, telling the guys I’d be right back. My hands got clammy as I got closer. I’m not gonna lie I was nervous as fuck. She was having a conversation with someone at the bar, her head slightly tilted to the side to better hear the person over all the music and outside chatter. I sit on the other side of her and tap her shoulder. 

“Hey. Can I buy you a drink?” I ask. She turned to me and smiled brightly, her teeth almost twinkling. 

“Sure! I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” She shouted over the music. I was a little shocked she didn’t know who I was. It’s hard to even go grocery shopping without being recognized. It was almost refreshing. 

“Eijiro Kirishima.” I say, holding out my sweaty hand to give her a hand shake. She took my hand and shook it, giggling as she noticed the wetness of my palms.

“Nice to meet ya, sweaty hands.” She said teasingly. God she was pretty. It was like no one was here except the two of us. She ordered the drink she wanted and I paid the bartender after we got our orders. We talked for what seemed like hours. It was almost easy with her. She was open and honest. She had nothing to hide and she was real. It’s hard to find that in people nowadays. 

“You’re pretty handsome, sweaty hands. You must have some girlfriend waiting for you to come home tonight, don’t you?” She questioned. I froze, thinking of my wife as I take a big sip of my drink. 

“I’m uh.. actually married. But she and I are separating.” I said, looking down at my drink. 

“Are you just telling me that so I’ll sleep with you? Or are you serious?” She asked, squinting her eyes at me to see if she can detect any lies. 

“I wish I wasn’t serious. I did love her at one point but..” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling pathetic. I was about to cry in front of a girl I’m trying to fuck. How manly. 

“Hey. You don’t have to explain much more, ok? I understand and I believe you.” She said, her small hand resting on my shoulder in reassurance. I look her in the eyes and smile. Why was she being so nice? 

“Hey, here’s my number. Call me anytime, sweaty hands.” She giggles, kissing me on the cheek. She finished her drink and pulled a pen from her purse. She wrote her number on a napkin and kissed it, leaving a red lipstick kiss on it. Y/N handed it to me and left, swaying her hips as she walked out the door.

Fuck.

“She was HOT! Way to go, Kirishima!” Denki said, surprising me. He pats my back and orders another round of beers for me and Bakugo, who was cheering me on back at the table. We sit for a while and go home a few hours after. I call an uber being that I’m too drunk to drive. When it gets to me, I get in and take the number out of my pocket to lock it in my phone. Should I even be considering this? 

Fuck it. 

I text her. I couldn’t wait to talk to her. 

“Hey sweaty hands. Took you long enough to text me.” She texted. I could almost hear her voice through the text as I text her back with shaky hands. 

“What are you doing?” I text, sitting back in the seat. She doesn’t respond for a while until I’m about to get out of the car. 

“3 Attachments.” The message read. I nearly fall over at the thought of what those attachments are. I unlock my front door and sneak back inside. My wife was already asleep, thank god. I couldn’t take her nagging when I was out late. I go to our room and sit on the bed, opening her message. God. She was naked with a blanket covering her more intimate bits. She was laying in bed, her nipples poking through the thin blanket as she pulled her features into a lewd look. She looked so good. 

“Thinking of you.” She said. My pants grow tight as I think of what she looks like under that blanket, my mind trailing to all the dirty things I’d do to her. How pretty she’d be with my dick in her little mouth. What was she doing to me? I send her a text back, 

“You’re such a tease.” I feel my wife stir in bed as I slowly try to climb in without waking her. I sigh as she turns back over and goes back to sleep, turning my attention back to my phone. 

“I want you, Eijiro. I wanna help you forget all about her.” She texted sending me another sultry image. “She won’t please you like I can.” I gulp and get up from my bed and rush to the bathroom. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.. I wanna show you.” She texted, tempting me to risk it all. I facetime her without thinking. Fuck I hope my wife’s still sleeping. Y/N answers, already naked and spread out on camera for me. Dirty girl. God she looked heavenly. She wore nothing but these pink thigh high socks

“I’m so wet for you, Kiri. I want you so bad.” She whined, playing with her wet folds teasingly as if she was waiting for me to tell her what to do. I practically drooled at the sight of her so lewd like this for me, her face full of desire for a man already taken. This wrong feeling just felt so right. 

“Don’t be shy, love. Show me how you please yourself.” I said, my cock twitching in anger at the lack of attention. I licked my lips as I watched her finger her pretty pussy for me, her sweet moans filling my ears as I completely forget about everything around me. I could watch her fuck herself all day. 

“Kiri- I-I wish you were here. You’d do a much better job than me- ah!” she whined, adding another finger inside her needy little hole. I pull out my cock and start to stroke it feverishly, wishing her pussy was wrapped around me instead. 

“Yeah?” I huffed, Y/N moaning in response. I pant as I stroke myself, enamored by this woman spread out before me. I can’t wait to really taste her. 

“I’m all yours, Eijiro! Whenever you want me. Ughhh god, I can’t wait to have y-you.” She mewls, her pace quickening.

I smirk and follow her movements, mimicking her rhythm to at least simulate the feeling of her pretty pussy wrapped around me. Her moans rang in my ears, the sound of her wetness squelching around her fingers as she fucked herself open for me. I pant, feeling close to cumming all over myself as I watched her legs start to shake, a sign that she herself was close too.

“Fuuuuck, Ah! I-I’m g-gonna cum for you, Kiri. Please let me cum.. please?” She begged, the sound nearly broke me. The fact she was begging me to let her cum as if I owned her really turned me on. I huff, holding myself back further as I sweat profusely.

“G’head, baby. Cum for me. Let me hear you.” I pant desperately, wanting to let go myself. And she did, her pathetic little screams echoing in my ears like a symphony. I cum just about the same time she does, my seed spilling all over my hand and lower stomach. I hear her cooing praises at me as I moan and gasp for air in front of her.

“Mmm, I wanna lick that up for you, daddy. You’re so big.” She said, licking her lips at the sight of me. I sigh in relief, telling her how gorgeous she is as I clean myself up. She stood up and grabbed her phone, winking as she told me,

“I guess this is to be continued, huh?”

[lebrookestore]

tape 5: play

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x reader

Themes: angst, ex! au, college-ish au, small town au. It goes back and forth a lot

Warnings: heavy angst, bittersweet ending, swearing, its very sad, chenle is a jerk

Wc: 6k

Playlist: 2 kids by Taemin, Gone by Rosé, Instagram by Dean, I still do by Why Don’t We, Believed by Lauv

Taglist: @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @1-800-seo @blueprint-han @jenosslut @cupidluvstarrz @kkakkdugi @sweetlyjaem @vera-liscious @leetaeyonglover @kunrengui @unknown5tar @kisshim @intokook @mrkcore @coco-riki

Summary: A year after your boyfriend moved away, you find yourself sitting in your room with five tapes, earphones, a cassette player and what you hoped, and feared, was closure.

Authors Note: hello! this fic was supposed to be a small blurb but then i got inspired and lo and behold its a full fledged fic! I can’t believe I wrote this in two days sdfjfjkfjk. Feedback would be very much appreciated for this, since I’ve never written anything like this before ;-;

Midtown, almost got a place out of midtown, Instead I took a plane out of this town, And missed out on us 

~

It was a sunny Saturday morning, as you pulled into your driveway, coming back from the store. 

Parking the car and getting the bags, you walked up to the door, knocking it and waiting. You were met with your mother’s smiling face as she took one of the bags of groceries from you.

You lived in a small sleepy town, and attended the college there as well, which meant you still stayed with your parents. You were fine with that, you liked living there, and you could forgo the stress and anxiety of having to re adjust to a new place.

This was your home. It always had been.

Of course, you had been on holidays to other places, you had visited the other town, but when it came to it, you had always found yourself back where you started. There was no other place for you, there never would be.

It was the truth, but it held something bitter.

Then again, you had enough going on already, with being in your freshman year, straight out of high school, college life was very different. You had been to a total of two parties so far, courtesy of your best friend— Lia— dragging you with her. 

You had enjoyed them, but it wasn’t something you would voluntarily participate in again.

The workload was something that had definitely changed, bogged down with mandatory lectures and assignments, tests popping up like a bad smell, you had more than enough to occupy you.

“Something has arrived for you!” Your mother said, almost excitedly, “It’s on the table.”

You helped her put away the groceries, walking to your living room, eyes falling on the package sitting on the table. It was somewhat shabbily wrapped, with tape haphazardly stuck on it to keep it together, and a tag pasted on the top.

Picking it up, you pass it from your right hand to your left, feeling its weight, reading the little tag. It held your address, your name and another name you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Your mind ran at a hundred miles per minute, wondering why it was here, why his name was on it. It made no sense to you.

“Darling? Are you okay?”

Your mothers voice snapped out of your reverie, nodding slowly, “I’ll be in my room, finishing off a project”, you said carefully, trying not to show any sort of emotion as you climbed up the stairs of your house, two at a time, making sure not to drop the package.

Closing the door, you place it on your bed, reading over the tag again, a bitter taste filling your mouth. A name you hadn’t thought of in a year coming back now. It was so random, so absolutely unnecessary.

You curled your fingers around the messy brown paper, tearing it open as your mind reeled. The crackling sound filled the silence as the contents of it make itself known to you.

A shoebox.

It’s dusty, a dark blue colour with a line of red running at its side. There were two holes on either end, lined with metal piping and you could just about make out the nike symbol on the top. You brushed your hand over it, the dust coming off easily and sticking to your fingers.

Why would he send you this?

His name sticks out on the tag like a sore thumb, reminding you of what you lost, mocking you. Always content with where you are, hmm? His voice comes back, as clear as day. It’s as if he’s standing there, giving you his chesire cat grin as he spoke the words.

Zhong Chenle.

Lifting the lid off the box, you’re thrown into confusion. A cassette player, a pair of earphones, and five tapes. Picking up the player, you smile briefly at the dramatic set up. He could’ve called you, or sent a message, so why did he take the pains of sending you something as old and unnecessary as this?

Then again, it had been a year since he stopped picking up your calls, since you stopped trying to call him.  A year since all contact had been cut off, as if he had never existed in the first place.

Sometimes you wondered if Chenle had been a hallucination. An imaginary friend.

Friend.

The questions filter in. Why? It had been a year, so why had he sent you this now? You had finally told yourself you were over it, that you didn’t need an answer, but somehow as soon as you did that, you found yourself sitting in your room on your bed with what could be it.

The tapes were numbered in permanent marker in his messy handwriting, from one to five, indicating the order in which they were to be listened to in. You picked up the first, slotting it in the player and waiting.

You didn’t know what you were waiting for.

You pressed play. There was crackling, but only for a moment, until  it went silent. Maybe this was all a mistake, maybe this wasn’t even happening. Maybe-

i] tape 1: you deserve to hate me

Hey

His voice cut through your spiraling thoughts as you froze in place. He sounded the same as you last heard him, a little muffled due to the recording but the same. At the same time he sounded like a stranger. There was silence for a moment again, before he spoke up.

This is stupid isn’t it?

You felt the urge to answer, but your mouth went dry. It had been so, so long, and even though you had adequate time to get over him, it suddenly felt as if you were treading unfamiliar territory once again. 

I-I don’t know why I’m doing this. I think it’s because I feel so horrible, I need an outlet. I guess speaking it into existence and recording it makes is my outlet. Making it all real.

But that’s fucking terrifying.

You don’t think you’re following, confused once again. 

Y/n

You hear him take a deep breath right after your name, and it sends a chill down your spine, hearing him say your name once again. You had almost forgotten how it sounded.

I don’t know if you’ll ever hear this, or listen to it. If you don’t I’ll actually be glad. You don’t deserve to, I’ve been a jerk to you. I’m sorry. I hope you hate me, I definitely deserve it.

I’m moving in two months.

The realization hits you, this had been recorded a year ago as well, two months before he left without a word or warning. It was old, he was here when he recorded it.

You didn’t quiet know how you felt, not yet anyways.

And you won’t know until I’m gone.

I’m moving to Korea, and I refuse to tell you, even if it makes me the bad guy, even if it feels worse, because that’s my dream. 

I got signed by a record label after sending them that demo I did —remember it? We both went to the studio together, you listening outside as I sang. You were right by my side, all the time.

Except now when I record this, except when I leave. 

I refuse to tell you, because the moment I do I know it’ll be real, realer than it is now as I say it. I don’t want to see the look on your face when I say I’m going, I know it’ll make me want to stay, but I don’t want to stay.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, you could recollect that day clearly. There was a small studio a little outside the town. That day, he had booked it for two hours to record a demo, his singing mentor with him and you tagging along.

It had always been like that, the two of you against the world, until, of course he left.

I physically can’t stay, I hate it here Y/n. It’s not for me, I want to get out, that had always been the plan. I want to get out and be free, I want to achieve my dreams. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe I don’t deserve a minute more of your time, but I want it all.

That’s why I’m not going to tell you —so I can have it all, at least until I don’t have you.

But you, you don’t deserve this, do you? Of course you don’t, but I suppose you’re the one with the shitty luck, you’re the one who ended up with me and now I’m going to hurt you. 

He laughs a dry, breathy laugh. It was half hearted, as if he was trying to get himself to believe the situation was funny. 

It’s not your fault I-fuck I’m sorry.

You heard a click and the tape died off, he had stopped recording there. The first tape was finished, and honestly, you didn’t know how to react. One part of you wanted to feel nothing, you wanted to put the player and the five tapes back into the box and send them away, or lock them in your closet to never find them again.

But the other part of you wanted to know more. You wanted to know how he felt, what went through his mind during that time. You wanted to know just how you lost Chenle, the first boy you ever loved.

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, vulnerable almost. It was as if someone had opened up an old wound and left it open.

You got to your feet abruptly, pulling the earphones from your ears and dropping them on your bed, taking a step away and blinking rapidly. You couldn’t get caught up in the past, you couldn’t put yourself through that again.

But it was hard when the past was in your present.

Wasted, and all of my regret, I can taste it, If I had a time-machine, I would take it, And make it back to us

~

That night you couldn’t sleep.

The box sat on your desk, right next to your laptop, staring at you. You turned around on your bed, looking the other way, only to be met with the white of the walls.

You never liked the colour white.

It was too plain, too open for interpretation. It never had a solid answer. You liked stability, you wanted something permanent. You were the type of person that needed that reassurance.

Perhaps that’s why you were happy where you were, you didn’t find the appeal in starting over, because that meant nothing was certain. You stayed where you were because everything was already laid out for you.

It was like a colouring book in your little town, the lines all set out, everything drawn for you. Change meant you had to sketch everything from scratch. What if you messed up?

Needless to say, it was a good thing you weren’t an art major.

“This is ridiculous”, you whispered to yourself, sighing at the fact that you were now talking to yourself. You rolled over so that you were lying on your back, staring at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars shone with their dull green light. You remember the day you had put them up, with Chenle.

You shared a lot of memories with him.

“Fucking hell”, you hissed, sitting up, swinging your legs off the edge of your bed and walking to your desk, sitting on the chair. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you picked up the second tape, inserting it in the player and putting the earphones on, waiting for it to begin.

ii] tape 2: milk before cereal

I know I’m making some terrible decisions, I really do, but if there’s one thing I stand by, its the fact that milk definitely goes before the cereal.

Why am I talking about this?

Well, because today you came over, Y/n, you came over and the two of us were watching a movie, and in the middle of it, you decided you wanted to have cereal, specifically frosted flakes.

So what do we do? We have cereal because I can’t say no to you. You’re welcome by the way, honestly, I deserve the boyfriend of the year award.

A moment of silence.

No I don’t. I really don’t.

You bit your lower lip, shutting your eyes. It was the way he switched, the way his demeanor changes so suddenly that made you want to scream. Sometimes it felt like he was telling a story, one you knew and loved.

Only for the next moment to bring you down to reality, reminding you that all stories don't have happy endings.

Anyways, we got the cereal and you objected when I put the milk first, saying that it was wrong, but how? In what way? Here me out Y/n, I shall tell you why I’m right, even If I’m not actually talking to you.

You couldn’t help but scoff at this, shaking your head at Chenle. He had always had a flair for being dramatic in the littlest ways possible. It was endearing.

Putting the cereal first means it sits in the milk for longer! If you put the cereal last, you can have it crunchy! Isn’t that ten times better? Unless you’re one of the devils spawn and like soggy cereal. If so I’m hypothetically breaking up with you right here right now.

Ah...bad wording. I keep forgetting I have to break up with you. I don’t want to, is that selfish?

You deserve the truth, if only I was strong enough to give it to you. Staying silent is so much easier.

It’s not lying, not completely anyways. I’m not lying if I don’t tell you at all. I suppose it’s a half truth then, with the truth hidden in plain sight. 

*click*

Lying. That’s what he did, even though he spent the last few minutes of the tape trying to justify it, he lied. He trampled all over your heart without a single warning.

You had trusted Chenle, having known him since you were thirteen. He had completely destroyed that trust. Something like that couldn’t be fixed so easily, not even if he had sent you these tapes.

Then again, you didn’t know why he sent them.

You retreated to your bed, turning away from the tapes, the words and memories they held, facing white once again.

You had met Chenle when the two of you were thirteen, in eight grade math. The boy was failing the class, and one day you found him sitting early morning in class, with his head in his hands as he groaned over some sort of equation.

You had offered to help, and the smile he gave was the brightest one you had ever seen, he was practically grinning from ear to ear. That was the beginning of your friendship, and the two of you were inseperable.

Ninth grade it was confirmed that the two of you were best friends, sitting together, complaining about teachers together, going places together so your parents didn’t need to tag along.

In your last year of high school the two of you started dating, and when you had told your parents, they were ecstatic, confessing they had always thought the two of you would end up together.

He was always there for you, every time you needed him. You could give him a call and he would be outside your door. If you were feeling insecure or scared, he was always there to hype you up.

You had been best friends before, you were lovers then, and it was amazing. You loved everything about being with Chenle. You loved everything about him, from his toothy grin to his obnoxiously loud laugh.

You loved the way his eyes sparkled when he had an idea (which, for the most part, were absolutely terrible. Needless to say the two of you got in trouble a lot), when he sang for you when you stayed over, the way he would always make sure you were never cold.

You loved him.

It was written in the stars, you were meant to be, it was the perfect combination. Chenle was the right person for you- the perfect person.

A year later you woke up with him gone, no texts, no warnings. He had just gone, leaving you alone.

Right person, wrong time.

Monday came around sooner than you thought it would, the weekend passing in a blur as you walked out of your first class, spotting Lia leaning against the wall outside your class, scrolling through something on her phone.

She was an exchange student, not originally from your town, but had fit right in. Sometimes you wished you could be like that.

“Oh! You’re out! Listen, there’s a party on Friday and you’re coming with me”, she stated. It wasn’t a request, it was a fact, you were to go with her. In her own words, ‘if I didn’t exist you’d probably have no social life.’

To be fair, she wasn’t wrong.

You nodded defeatedly, walking with her down the hallway, “I assume you want to go because of the cute new guy?”

She glared, but didn’t refute your accusation, “His name is Mark”, she said, “And that is none of your business.”

You snickered, “Oh it so is, you like him don’t you? Is this going to be another one of your crushes?”

Lia was notorious for having a new crush almost every week, being a very flighty person, her mind changed before you could even say her name. This was a bit of a problem, considering you went to her for advice a lot.

Her indecisive nature was not the best for that.

She rolled her eyes at this, “He’s cute, why not? Wonder if I can get him to dance with me at the party. You’re going to be my hype woman-”

“And the sober buddy?”

Lia ignored that.

“Also there’s this new singer”, she said, handing you one of her earbuds, “apparently he came from here!”

Taking one of the earbuds, you were hit with a familiar voice. It sounded amazing honestly, catchy, everything a song needed, but it was the voice that hit you. You didn’t even need to ask Lia for the singer, swallowing the lump in your throat and glancing at her phone, which confirmed your suspicions.

Filling with some sort of dread, your hands immediately went to hold your hand, specifically the bottom where the cassette player and the tapes were. You had been carrying them around with you, as if scared they would disappear if you left them alone.

“Isn’t he good?”

You nodded, not daring to answer as you bit your lower lip, “Hey Lili, I need to use the washroom so see ya later”, you said, handing her the earbud and taking off in the other direction, pushing open the doors to the washroom and getting into one of the stalls.

You had stalled listening to the next tape all Sunday, you didn’t even know why, but hearing him sing, that fact that he had actually made it, it struck something in you. You wanted to feel proud of him, but all you felt was bitter.

Was it a coincidence that this new singer had come out- Chenle himself- right when you received the tapes?

Pushing the top of the toilet down, you took a seat, taking the player out and plugging in, you pressed play for the third tape, waiting for it to begin playing.

tape iii] ill miss our dates

Remember when we went for that field trip? Ninth grade? We sat in the back of the bus together avoiding the stares of our teachers when they told us to sit down?

Then they pulled us apart? Yeah, mean fuckers.

Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk about, I just felt like reminiscing for a sec there, but today we went of a date! Well, I mean we got ice cream and then went to the park, but hey, it was fun.

You smiled. He had always jumped from one topic to another without any meaning to either. Sometimes it was a frustrating habit, (you had been on the receiving end of these useless conversations several times, which ended with you glaring at him exasperatedly), but for the most part, extremely comical.

I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss you. Your little smile — have I ever told you just how pretty your smile is? Your eyes light up and crinkle at the sides and its something I don’t think I’ll ever forget, even when I’m gone. 

You clutched the cassette player, marveling at the irony. He was talking about your smile, but why did you want to cry?

It’s a month left now, and I want to make the most of it. Tomorrow I’m taking you to the amusement part and then next week I’m surprising you with dinner. I guess doing things for you —for us — makes me feel better, like I’m compensating.

You deserve the world Y/n, and I want to see that world while you’re happy where you are.

You don’t deserve having to deal with me.

*click*

Your eyes burned, because you remembered each of those events. You had been so happy, so overjoyed at them. They burned with tears because there it was again, that reminder that you were destined to be stuck right where you were, because you were that idiot who was content.

But if someone, anyone, asked you at that very moment if you were happy, the answer would’ve been an outright no.

1 YEAR AGO

~

“Hey Chenle?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you want to leave?”

The boy thought about this for a second, before smiling wistfully, “Don’t you want to know how it is outside home?”

“But everything I need is here.”

Your eyes held a question, you were genuinely baffled by his reasoning, the way he was so stuck of getting out. You studied your bewildered expression, shaking his head. “You’re lucky”, he said finally, “You know exactly what you want.”

“Of course I don’t, but I know what I need Chenle, and that’s all around me.”

He shook away his other thoughts, “Hey maybe we’ll go exploring the world together some day. 

You blinked, “You want me there with you?”

He nodded, grinning widely, “I want to take you along, Imagine, it’ll be fucking awesome, and hey this time there will be no teachers to separate us. We can even stand in the bus-if we’re taking a bus, that it.”

You laughed, “Maybe”, you mused, looking back down at your phone, “While I don’t exactly see the appeal, it would be fun to be with you.”

Chenle’s smile faltered, but he didn’t let it fall completely, wrapping his arms around you and sighing, closing his eyes and whispering something just loud enough for you to hear.

“Maybe.”

Why did it feel this way?

Chenle was right- you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to feel this way at all. It had been a year, so why did it affect you?

Why was it all happening at once?

You clicked your tongue, eyeing the player with contempt. You felt pathetic for being curious, for still feeling so attached to old news. It wasn’t as if it was going to change anything, so why?

Why did you still want to know?

Curiosity killed the cat. You wondered if knowing would somehow kill you.

No one was at home currently, so you sat in the living room on your couch. The items you were trying so hard to ignore were sitting on the small table in front of the couch, as if waiting for you to pick them up once again.

You wondered if you should tell Lia and ask her opinion about the situation. She may not be that helpful, but hell, she could help you burn the tapes if worse came to worse.

Sometimes you wished you had never met Chenle, that your history with him could be erased from your memories. You wished it never existed because fuck, it still hurt.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and pressed play.

tape iv] firsts with you

Do you remember our first kiss?

We were eighteen, in my room, playing Jenga. That was a year ago, oh god, I can’t even imagine, how has it been a year? You were wearing one of my shirts and jeans, your hair was in a ponytail. The two of us were sitting on the carpet on my floor.

You had successfully gotten one of the wooden pieces out of a risky area of the tower, but then it was my turn, it feel to the ground, destroyed.

I blamed you, and you laughed, and our banter continued. We argued and at one point I started tickling you to get you to shut up, because honestly-Jesus Christ Y/n you’re fucking stubborn.

Anyways I ended up on top of you and the two of us were laughing. You looked so pretty, hair messily scattered around your face as you attempted to get out of my hold. 

I leaned down and kissed you.

Your throat closed up as he spoke. Your eyes stung and you raked your hand through your hair, biting down on your lower lip. The way he was speaking about it, as if he would do anything to go back, it struck something in you.

Because if you had the chance, you would go back as well.

You tasted like that strawberry chapstick you liked to wear. I could tell you were surprised, because you didn’t kiss me back for a good two seconds  —which, by the way sent me into a panic for a moment there.

But then you kissed me, and fuck, it was like everything had stopped. I couldn’t think for a second, it was like the world had started spinning around me, and the only thing that was keeping me grounded, was you.

Was it supposed to hurt like this?

You sucked in a sharp breath, fingers fisted the material of your shirt as you tried keeping your composure. You didn’t want to cry, but he was making it so, so hard for you. 

You remembered how it felt when he kissed you, you were legitimately so confused, was he really kissing you? Your best friend, the boy you had loved quietly for so long, kissing you?

Chenle was your first kiss, and it was the most perfect first kiss you could have ever asked for, even if you were on the floor, with random Jenga blocks scattered around the two of you.

The smile you gave me after I pulled away, I wish I could remember it forever. It was goofy as you burst into giggles, and asked me, “What was that for?”

I blinked in surprise, wondering how you seemed so normal, when for me everything had changed. I had kissed my best friend, the one girl I care the most about.

I must have looked like a tomato oh god.

Instead of waiting for my to answer, you sat up, pulling me into another kiss. This time it was me who was unprepared. The kiss was messy, it had no structure or plan, but I realized in that moment, that I really liked kissing you, and I wanted to do it more often.

You became my girlfriend.

The wistful tone he was using was starting to affect you. You had loved Chenle, almost too much. You could almost feel that nostalgic happiness you felt that day when he kissed you for the first time, the disbelief and joy that wrapped around the two of you. 

A wave of sadness followed that nostalgia.

Our first date was so fucking awkward. We were at that little cafe you loved, you ordered a cheesecake and I got a smoothie, and then we sat in silence for a good five minutes.

It really shouldn’t have been that painful, considering we knew everything about each other already, then again that might be why it was awkward, I had nothing to ask you about.

So naturally I brought up school and that started it, the two of us complaining about the amount of assignments we had, and Mrs. Choi’s annoying squeaky voice- I swear to god that woman took a second for each word.

But I digress.

Slowly our conversation felt normal again, it was just us, eating cheesecake and drinking smoothies, together.

That wave of sadness crashed down upon you like a tsunami, trying to snuff you out. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, you were struggling to keep yourself together. You were struggling to stay afloat, you had lost any leverage you had that was holding you up.

You couldn’t fight the waves.

My flight is in two hours. It’s four in the morning and we’re about to walk through the door and get to the airport, but I wanted to talk to you once again, even if we’re not really talking.

I’m pathetic.

You’re sleeping, in your bed at your home, you don’t know I’m going because I’m the coward that refused to tell you the truth. I’ll be gone by the time you wake up and then you’ll know.

You’ll know how much of a waste of time I was.

And then you were angry.

You were angry because he had no right to just come back into your life like this, no fucking right to make you cry. He wasn’t even here, but somehow he had managed to make you fall apart just with his words, with his voice.

He had no right to tear your world apart, the little composure you had standing. You had finally accepted the fact that he was gone, you had moved on, and even tried to forget.

But here he was, making sure you could never forget.

You hated how selfish he was, how absolutely fucking oblivious. He had no clue, not even one as to how you felt when he just disappeared from your life, as if he never existed. He had broken you and here he was, breaking you again.

With trembling hands, you stopped the tape from playing any further, angry tears making their way down your face as you flung the player across the room. You had no intention of listening any further, you didn’t want to, you didn’t care.

Closure hurt more than him leaving.

You buried your head in your hands, letting yourself fall apart, but just this once.

tape iv] continued [unheard]

I’m sorry Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry. 

You don’t have to believe me, because I’m leaving anyways, so I suppose that cancels out my apologies huh? I’m the worst person you ever met. I’m not stopping, I’m not going to leave you a text.

Because I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

I’ll be gone before we could ever be.

Should’ve believed in us, while we existed, cuz now the whole things fucked, and just a figment of my imagination

~

Time heals all hurt, and reminders bring them back, cutting through your skin like a knife, making you bleed.

A week later, you found yourself sitting in your favorite cafe, the same cafe Chenle talked about in the last tape. You ordered a cheesecake and a smoothie, inserting the fifth and final tape into the player.

The last time you did this, you were left hurt and distraught, promising yourself you would never go back to listen to him again. You had put the shoebox in your closet, hiding it behind your clothes that hung from the rack.

Yet here you were.

You didn’t bother finishing the fourth tape, you didn’t see the need to. 

This tape, you observed, was newer looking, with less scratches on the plastic, even the marker on the side looked more recent, a little rushed if you went into detail. 

The cheesecake and drink arrived, and you took a bite, pressing play.

tape v] play

Hey.

He sounded a little different too, older perhaps. His voice was smoother, but he sounded unsure of himself. It sounded as if he was trying to figure out how to approach the topic. He was being cautious.

It’s been a while. I...I don’t know why I’m doing this. There’s no point- you’re not even here. I found these stupid tapes yesterday in my dorm when I was cleaning out and gave them a listen.

Silence.

I envy you, Y/n. I wish I was like you, happy wherever I was. But I’m not, and I probably caused you great unhappiness while trying to search for my own- but I was happy with you, so happy it was ridiculous.

I sabotaged that.

You sighed, realizing you felt nothing. You were tired of crying over Chenle, you were done doing that. Instead you felt empty, like you had been tired out, like it didn’t matter anymore. At this point you were to get it over with, to finish it off on  clean ending note.

My song comes out next week, and it’ll be done. I’ve made it Y/n, I’ve gotten to where I wanted to be, the place I had worked so hard to get to. I’ve sacrificed so much for this and it’s all been worth it- except one thing.

I don’t expect you to listen to my song, I just wanted to tell you. I..I hope you’re proud of me. Even if I was a jerk, I hope you can be proud, at least a little bit, because then I’ll have finally made it.

I miss you.

The same words are at the tip of your tongue, I miss you, I miss you so fucking much, but they never came out. They didn’t have to, it would be useless. He would never hear them.

Instead, you swallowed them back down.

And even though I made fun of you for staying home, I hope you’re happy like I am, I hope we’ll meet again one day. If we do I challenge you to a game of Jenga, loser buys the winner ice cream.

I-fuck this is the hardest part- but I hope you’ve moved on. One of us has to.

*click*

You don’t take the tape out of the player, you don’t touch it at all. You feel oddly calm as you take another bite of your cheesecake, savoring the strawberry reserve that it came with it. You could almost imagine yourself at eighteen again sitting opposite your new boyfriend.

You missed it, the memories that came along with it. That was it, you missed the feelings you had.

But you were okay. You would be okay right where you were, because that’s where you belonged. It hurt, yeah, but it had hurt back then as well. Now it was just a dull ache, all that was left was regret.

Regret that it didn’t work out, regret over unspoken words and unnecessary pain.

A familiar song filled the cafe as you smiled somewhat sadly, leaning back in your seat and closing your eyes.

“I’m proud of you Chenle”, you whispered, “Because you did what I couldn’t”

You left the cafe a little later, with the cassettes in your bag, an empty plate and the smoothie sitting on the table, untouched. After all, that smoothie wasn’t for you.

There was nothing to wait for anymore. You had loved and you had lost, Chenle was a stranger with your secrets and a familiar voice and that was it. 

You had forgiven him a long time ago, even without him being deserving of it. Now with all the loose ends being tied up, it felt like you could finally let go of him, you could finally move on.

And forget.