#fic: forever only exists in dreams and movies

[xunandran]

Tease (more than a) Tidbit Tuesday

Back again with some from my Eddie Diaz Coma story: Forever only exists in Dreams and Stories. This time, we're in the real world, three years+ post season 7, dealing with Buck and Tommy and Christopher. Buck and Tommy's marriage has been over for months, they've just recently admitted it. Christopher's still reeling from his father's accident.

Forever only exists in dreams and stories (unfinished)

The house is quiet when Buck opens the front door. “Tommy? I know I’m not supposed to be here today, but I have Christopher with me. I’ll get him settled in the guest room and I can stay in the office.” No response. Not unexpected. Buck points to the hall in the back. “Guest room is on the left past the bathroom. There are blankets in the closet.”

Christopher’s eyes linger on the kitchen and his stomach growls loudly, betraying his hunger. Buck doesn’t acknowledge it as the teen stalks down the hall toward the guest room. Buck sighs and sets down Eddie’s suitcase before walking into the kitchen to see if there are any leftovers or anything he can whip up. It takes little time to scrounge a couple sandwiches together that he quietly sets to the side of the door of the guest room. “There’s some food out here for you.” He lingers, fingers pressed against the door for a breath before walking back to his office at the other side of the house.  

Buck’s office is neat and organized. He has a modest desk with a laptop, a few files that he’s brought home from work, and a small planter, half-dead succulent and some decorative rocks that, given time, he’s sure he’ll figure out how to kill too. He wipes a thin layer of dust off the closed laptop. Has it been so long since he’s used it? While the laptop boots, Buck pulls his phone and dials a number, putting it on speaker. 

“Buck?” Bobby’s voice is gravelly on the other end of the phone. 

“Hey Cap- er… Bobby!” He was never going to get used to not calling Bobby Cap. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“You didn’t wake me, Buck. Athena and I are just doing the crossword before we turn in. What’s up? You’ve not burned down my fire station yet, have you?”

“One forgotten lasagna, Bobby!” Buck tries to sound exasperated, but he can’t help but smile. It might be the first smile he’s had all day that feels remotely genuine and not forced. 

“Speaking of… Athena wants to know if we can expect you this weekend for the barbecue. Everyone else has already confirmed, and May’s even going to be in town and would love to see you.” 

Buck’s short smile fades. “I don’t know Bobby. I’ve got all this paper-”

“It’ll be good for you to see your friends, Buck. Part of learning to not let that job crush you is learning how to put it aside when you can.”

“I wish it was only work.” Buck sighs and logs into the powered up laptop. After a few updates patch their way through, the past punches him in the throat in the form of his background, a candid shot of him, Eddie, Tommy, Hen and Chimney after their medal ceremony. He slams the laptop shut like he’s grabbed fire. 

“So things aren’t any better between you and Tommy?”

Buck sighs again, leaning back in his chair. “We’re signing the paperwork this Friday. We’ve still got a couple of things to get sorted here, but we’ve gotten all the deeds and everything transferred into either my or Tommy’s name.”

“Where are you going to go?”

Buck can hear Athena in the background, but he can’t quite make out what she’s saying. “Maddie and Chimney said I can use their guest room until I can find an apartment. It’ll be good to see Jee.”

“And to be around family. I’m really sorry, Buck. I was really hoping you guys would figure it out.”

Buck sniffs, wiping away a tear trailing its way down his cheek. “Me too, Bobby. I guess I’m too defective for even the most patient person.”

“Don’t say that, Buck. These things happen.” There’s a rustle on the other end of the line, likely Athena taking their newspaper. Bobby’s voice is muted for a moment, as if he’s covered the phone with his hand. Buck sits and waits. “Sorry about that, Buck. How’s Eddie?” Buck sits in silence, staring at the phone. After all these years, Bobby still knows him perfectly, because he fills the space. “Ravi called me. He had a question about the fire house and he didn’t want to bother you.”

“He’s… He’s not good, Bobby.”

“I thought he was in El Paso.”

“He was. I don’t know what he’s doing up here. I have Christopher with me, but he hasn’t said.”

“How is he doing?”

Buck blinks back the stinging tears from the simple question. “He’s so angry, Bobby. I mean, I get being scared and lashing out, but this is deeper. I… I think he hates me, and I don’t know what I do about that.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Buck. Like you said, he’s scared and it’s been what, three years? He’s processing some big feelings right now. You’re just going to have to give him time and space.”

Buck sighs in resignation. “Time’s the one thing I’m not sure we have…” Buck can hear the hesitation on the other end of the line. “Spit it out, Bobby.”

The older man sighs. “Then maybe it’s a good thing it happened here instead of in El Paso.”

“Why?”

“So you can address the things between the two of you that never got said… before it’s too late.”

Buck stares at the phone, Bobby’s words rattling around in his head. “I-I gotta go, Bobby. Give Athena my love.”

“Buck… Come over this weekend. Bring Christopher. You don’t have to go through all this alone.”

Buck presses the large red button and pulls his knees to his chest. The soft rock of the office chair is almost a comfort, and while he doesn’t get anything that could be considered restful sleep, he at least gets some sleep. 

===

For the last several weeks in the Buckley-Kinard house, silence has been the norm. Ever since *that* talk, Buck and Tommy had each done everything in their power to not be in the place at the same time as the other. Buck’s reason? It hurt. He didn’t know Tommy’s. He still hasn’t had the courage to ask. So when Tommy’s rich baritone laugh, the one that used to be reserved for him, echoes through the house, he perks up from a dreamless, uncomfortable sleep. 

He hesitates at his office door. He can smell breakfast, eggs and bacon. He imagines toast with jam and butter, Tommy’s tea cup, emblazoned with ‘world’s okayest pilot’, a white elephant gift from their first christmas together that Buck had picked secretly hoping that Tommy would trade for it. He did. His memory is warm and happy, a far cry from the cold loneliness of recent weeks. 

Tommy’s in the middle of some pilot story when Buck finally walks into the kitchen. His smile evaporates at Buck’s presence and with a small cough, he continues preparing his lunch. Christopher looks up from his plate of breakfast. Buck can’t help but notice there’s only one plate. He’s not surprised but still a little sad. Christopher also clams up, his elusive smile vanishing like the sun behind clouds. Buck tries to take up as little space as possible as he prepares his small coffee maker, one of the few remaining things in the house that’s his.

[pomefioredove]

Hiii! I adore your writings especially the vill fics thank you for blessing us vil fans 😭🙏💕

Can you please write soulmate au with vil and the perks of being soulmate with him? Thank youuu

thank you so much, that's so sweet!!! and OHHH soulmate.... so good

summary: soulmates type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, FLUFFY, lovesick vil forever

Vil Schoenheit had always deemed the existence of "soulmates" to be a thing confined in the lines of a poem.

Ever the rationalist, Vil hadn't even entertained the fantasy of meeting his "perfect match", if such a person even existed. His life was not that of a cheesy movie script he'd turn down.

Finding someone who could cope with his strict lifestyle would be a miracle in and of itself.

...And if you had asked Vil Schoenheit what his image of the perfect partner would be, he would say exactly that.

Someone beautiful, intelligent, responsible, with the dedication and discipline to keep up with him.

Spoken with a sardonic smile and honeyed words, Vil knew that his chances of actually finding someone to meet his standards, to keep up with him, were slim.

He couldn't have possibly imagined having to keep up with you, instead.

You were like a shooting star; swift and bright, moving faster than he could fathom, cutting through the dark parts of his life like a hot blade.

Something for him to wish on.

Beautiful.

Like nothing he could have ever imagined.

There was a radiance in everything you did, one that made your skin glow with or without products, a certain warmth that so contrasted the refined and elegant image he'd grown to associate with beauty.

Vil would eagerly tend to your every need. It was a dream just to touch you, to have the honor of pushing your hair out of your face.

He would savor every second of grazing your skin, of tracing your features with delicate fingertips, if only just to cleanse your pores after a long day.

With you, every simple action is beautiful.

Vil enjoys pampering people he cares for, and thus your life is full of high-end products, the best groceries money can buy, and his personal advice from the very second he sets eyes on you.

He would gladly do your personalized skincare routine with you every night and every morning if time allowed it.

2. Intelligent.

In such a way that makes him eager to understand you.

Really, it's your insatiable curiosity that draws him in.

He could spend hours upon hours simply listening to you talk. Your interests begin excite him just as much as they excite you, your passion for learning and creating capture his attention with ease.

There's never a dull moment between the two of you.

What others might consider useless conversations about trivial matters, Vil holds to the highest regard.

It comes to the point where he begins asking you for opinions, even if he knows he'll disagree with your answer, just to hear your perfect voice, just to watch your expression change in the way it does when you're thinking.

He's infatuated with your thought process, with the way your mind works.

Understanding you is not a labor, but a privilege.

3. Responsible.

To where all he could ask for is you and your gentle touch.

You care. Whether you're aware of it or not, you care so deeply about the people in your life, it almost puts Vil to shame.

Paired with your determination and resilience, and your ceaseless sense of independence, it's absolutely irresistible to him.

Vil is so unfamiliar with the way you treat him. Tenderly, and softly, like he's something that needs to be taken care of. You don't put him on a high shelf like a trophy, but carry him at your side, like a beloved doll.

He's never been at the receiving end of such consideration.

On the days where it feels as if the world is coming undone around him, he has somewhere to go. A place to hide, where he can forget all that he's supposed to be, and just simply be instead.

You are a home to him.

Vil knows that the both of you are perfectly capable (exemplary, even) at minding yourselves, though that's exactly what makes this tenderness you share all the better.

Independence is a gift, though one that he'll gladly set aside for a time, to be alone and soft with you.

4. Keeping Up.

Some days, it feels as if he's hanging onto you for dear life.

Afraid that if he looks away for even a moment, you'd vanish, leaving him alone with all of his naive, shallow thoughts on what his soulmate should be.

You're a dream to him. Far better than anything he ever could have asked for, or even imagined. He would be a fool to let you get away, he knows as much.

And perhaps he doesn't have the words to express it yet, perhaps he does. Perhaps these thoughts of his are tucked away in a journal, imbued in the lines of a poem, or in the color choices of a floral arrangement. Perhaps he whispers them to you in the early hours of the morning, still caught in that dreamlike space between sleep and wake.

One thing has become clear to him, though: Vil could never adequately describe all that he wants in a soulmate.

You're far too complex to put in a single sentence.

[sofiareidings]

Falling For You

Summary: Spencer is completely oblivious to how madly in love you are. That's it. Warnings: fluff and swearing.

A/N: I feel like this idea has been done before, so if I subconsciously copied a fic, let me know!! Also, I didn't mean to do it, but this story is technically spencerxgn!reader so. Also, i'm back!! Another story is coming out at 9pm EST, so be ready!!!

Word Count: 0.9k

Song Suggestions: Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

You two clicked immediately. It was strange, you were both so opposite. I guess that's what made it work. What he lacked you made up for and reversed. Not many other people knew much about your personal life except for him. Your favourite thing about him was his words. Everytime he rambled about the most random times you could listen forever.

Whenever he looked at you, you melted. When he smiled your face burned from blushing. And whenever he talked you just wanted to kiss him. But you had no clue if he felt the same. For a genius he was quite oblivious to your flirting and comments. If he liked you he definitely had a good way of hiding it.

There was only one issue.

***

The movie was about halfway through and you made sure to turn the couch into a bed, Spencer had come over to watch it with you. If someone asked you tomorrow morning what the movie was about you wouldn't be able to say, he'd been talking the whole time.

"...That actually isn't correct," He started, moving his hands around for emphasis. "In the wild, there are two formally recognised lion subspecies. The African lion is found in Africa, south of the Sahara desert. The Asiatic lion exists in one small population around Gir Forest National Park in western India. Wild lions in the west and central Africa are more closely related to these Asiatic lions in India than to those found in southern and east Africa. So realistically the characters would be..."

Listening to him talk was like heaven, but at the same time it was hell. He just looked so huggable.

No, kissable. The butterflies in your stomach made you giggle, he paused and frowned. Looking like a lost puppy.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Stumbling over the words as he spoke, you stopped laughing and grabbed his hands while smiling.

"No, no you didn't. It was just…cute." You muttered.

"Thank you?" A confused look on his face when he responded. Your heart shattered a little, that was obvious wasn't it? Did his feelings not reciprocate? "Oh! Also, manes on male lions tell a story. Male lions grow impressive manes the older they get. These manes grow up to 16 cm long and are a sign of dominance. The older they get, the darker their manes go. As well as attracting females, their manes may also protect…"

His words trailed off again and he stared at you. "You keep being weird. You're all red. Did I say something wrong? I know that sometimes I speak for too long and I go on and on, which annoys people-" He sighed, "And I'm doing it now. I'm sorry."

"No, please. I love when you talk. It's calming." Grinning, you continued, "So what about protection?"

"Oh, um…manes can also protect their neck and head from injuries during a fight." He slowed down his speaking, like he was a little self-conscious about his words now. When he stopped talking everything was silent, except for the sound of the movie quietly playing on the TV in front of you.

"Spence? What's wrong?" Tilting your head and looking at him, he was staring at the TV but he didn't seem to be watching it. Just thinking, his eyebrows furrowed like they normally did while he was deep in thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"Have you been flirting with me?" He blurted out, looking back up and at you. You almost jumped, not expecting that question.

"What?" Still in shock it took you a minute to respond. Letting the silence fill the air again, he didn't speak. He just stared, waiting for an answer. "I-What would you think if I was?"

"I would've wished I'd noticed sooner." He sighed, making that puppy-dog face you loved. Neither of you really knew what to do and sat there for what you would believe could've been hours.

"Fuck it." You breathed out and as if he knew what you were thinking as well he leaned in at the same time as you, kissing you softly. After a couple seconds you felt his hands wrap around your face, holding it as he kissed more.

Your hands didn't know where to go, after a couple more seconds they finally found their place, one around the back of his neck and the other tucked around his waist. Pulling you closer to him.

A couple seconds later you both moved away from each other, only long enough to catch your breaths and muttering random words. Before you knew it the both of you were back to kissing, to make up for how long you guys spent not kissing.

The longer it went the closer to each other you got, his one hand started to slide down your neck and then your waist when suddenly your hand hit a button and the movie that was still playing turned up to full volume.

Both scrambling for the remote he managed to shut the TV off, surrounding you both in the darkness of the night.

The two of you continued to kiss every once in a while but it didn't take long for the darkness to make you both sleepy and you ended up just cuddling. You fell asleep with your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. He had one hand holding you close to him, as if someone was coming to steal you away. The other hand tracing up and down your back until he too, drifted off to sleep.

[icarustypicalfall]

Reminiscence

König x reader

masterlist

summary: How is it that a fleeting moment, a mere jiffy between reality and fantasy, can grasp our souls and leave us yearning or empathizing for the rest of our limited existence?

warnings: sfw, usual cod violence, wounds, guns, angst?, comfort, ending...?

word count: 2,3k

notes: my autocorrecter turned every könig with the usual o so if you see one pretend you didn't.. also this fic is so random and i have no clue what happened

“my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake”

Colonel König was a man who took pride in everything he did. He lived a long life, serving alongside his brother Horangi in both successful and challenging missions. Little was known about his past, as he guarded it as if it were a sin. However, deep down, one could sense that the colonel carried a burden, a mysterious weight from the past that only he could comprehend.

Once again, he awoke in his office, drenched in cold sweat with a single tear streaming down his face, evidence of the nightmare that had just haunted his brief slumber. He longed to forget, to erase the memories that had plagued him for years. But no matter how much time passed, moving on seemed an impossible task.

König vividly recalled the scene, replaying it countless times in his mind. There were moments when he secretly desired to descend into madness and never wake up, to relive the painful dream over and over until the colours of his memory faded.

His ultimate fear was not death itself, for he had already died when he left, but rather the possibility of forgetting the sound of your beloved voice or the sensation of tender flesh.

December 12 #### [03:24 am]

Location: [classified]

Operation: [classified]

The pain was unbearable, and he desperately wished for anything to end it, even if it meant shutting his shallow breath forever.

As a child, König dreamt of becoming a sniper. He couldn't explain why, but he yearned for that role deeply, idolizing the revered warriors portrayed in the movies he watched every Friday night.

But as he grew older, his dream transformed into a painful reality. He never anticipated that this simple wish would leave him isolated in the wilderness, with no one to share his throe.

At the age of twenty-two, freshly graduated from military training with the rank of private, König quickly ascended the ranks. His towering physique and exceptional abilities certainly played a part, but it was his unwavering discipline and outstanding performance that truly caught the attention of his superiors. He obediently followed every order, earning the respect of sergeants and majors alike.

Yet König did not mind this, for he harboured the aspiration of becoming a leader one day. Perhaps then, his childhood dream would manifest into reality.

He found himself in this particular location, alongside fellow soldiers, embarking on a mission to test their abilities. It was meant to be a swift operation, in and out, dealing with a drug trafficking affair. At least, that's what he believed.

But reality proved to be harsh, mercilessly slapping him across the face. The frontline was a treacherous arena; once you stepped onto it, there was no guarantee of stepping back.

Every soldier eventually came to realize this as they reloaded their guns, with each bullet either ending a life or starting one. It was a painful cycle, where lives were lost and shattered, yet there seemed to be no alternative for humanity to coexist other than beheading their enemies.

König groaned, searching for his comrades who awaited a sign amidst the unforgiving terrain. The house they were about to breach stood eerily silent, a stark contrast to the constant movement of the criminals they pursued. Suddenly, something rolled out from the darkness, making it impossible to discern its nature.

The silence was shattered by screams and cries of terror.

The gas bomb had served as a distraction. König crawled, feeling the burning air and painful lacerations surrounding him. Though he was away from the epicentre, the effects were still noticeable. Slowly, he eliminated the immediate threat and proceeded to infiltrate the house in search of any remaining criminals. It was a poor abode, with an old sofa in the living room and an assortment of cheap DVDs and guns. As he turned, he heard a movement behind him.

König shut his eyes, feeling the searing sensation spreading through his body. The stab wound wasn't deep, but it caused excruciating pain. He winced as he swiftly eliminated the assailant before collapsing to the ground, frantically searching for anything that could staunch the bleeding in his stomach.

"No, not a tourniquet," he thought, realizing the wound needed to be packed with something to stop the bleeding and alleviate the dizziness in his head. Slowly, he stumbled out of the house and into the surrounding woods, struggling to remember where his teammates were. The cowards had abandoned him, assuming he was dead.

Leaning against a tree, König regretted tearing his shirt, as the cold breeze and dampness of the forest began to affect his body temperature. Shivering, he fought to retain the little warmth he had left as he reached for his radio. How could his comrades, the ones he had done everything to keep safe, leave him behind as though he were nothing more than an insignificant pebble in the road?

His knees grew heavy, and he collapsed onto the ground. The radio slipped from his grasp, just a few steps away, yet reaching for it felt like an insurmountable task. With each passing second, König felt his strength wane, and he slowly began to follow the beckoning light. A gentle beam enveloped him as he caught sight of his mother's tender face. She smiled, extending her hand towards him, just like she used to do in the old days when she would walk him to kindergarten and affectionately call him her "Schnecke."

König closed his eyes, surrendering to the cold embrace under the solitary tree.

13th December #### [11:15 am]

"No, Lou, don't wake him up. Go out, you silly dog."

König opened his eyes, feeling disoriented. He couldn't remember where he was, so he rubbed his temples and attempted to sit up. Instantly, he regretted it, as a sharp pain shot through his side.

"Oh no no no, sit back down, you're still injured!"

König almost flinched at the sweet voice and turned to see you. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought he was in heaven.

You smiled at him, a sweet grin, while patting a dog who was wagging its tail happily. König stared at you, mouth agape and in shock. You were magnificent, if not more.

He hadn't expected anyone to be living here. The cabin itself was a sight to behold, with its wooden floors and walls reminiscent of his grandpa's old cabin. He smiled as he noticed the crackling fire, realizing that he wasn't sleeping on a dusty bed with torn blankets. Everything in this small place exuded comfort.

He struggled to sit up but winced in pain before murmuring with a low, husky voice, "A... are you an angel?"

You laughed dismissively, shaking your head with warmth and amusement. He wished he could stay by your side and make you laugh forever.

Taking a breath, you handed him a mug of warm tea. "No, I am not an angel, but you can call me that if you wish," you said, settling in a wooden chair beside him.

König held the cup tightly, taking a slow sip of the tea, just the way he liked it—burning with no sugar. He hummed with satisfaction, noticing that he was shirtless, with large bandages wrapped around his abs and stomach.

You quickly explained, your cheeks blushing slightly. "Lou found you when we were out at dawn. My dad and I brought you here, treated your wounds, and your clothes are drying over there..." You pointed to the fire, where he saw his combat boots and uniform drying.

König smiled, not knowing what to say. He simply stared at you, yearning for you to continue speaking. He would give you anything you desired, even carve his chest and offer you his heart if you wished.

He muttered, now feeling more at ease with you so close. "I am sorry, Engel, for the... burden."

You frowned, and he wished he could bury himself alive at the sight of your small, annoyed expression. "There's no need to apologise," you reassured him.

He appreciated your kindness and refrained from saying more. He leaned back, closing his eyes and enjoying the gentle sounds of the crackling fire and the rain pouring outside.

König was young and had never thought much about the future, but after seeing you, he vowed to move heaven and earth for your sake. He would willingly descend into the depths of hell with a grin if it meant seeing you smile.

König woke up later from his short nap, his stomach partially growling from the enticing aroma of soup cooking. He smiled apologetically, looking at your tired form as you approached him with a shy smile.

"I need to... um... change your bandages," you said, blushing slightly. He rejoiced at your adorable and sweet blush, sitting up and exposing his stomach for you to treat.

Your gentle touch on his skin made him shiver, trying his best to ignore your proximity and the alluring scent of your perfume as you tended to his wound, though it was almost impossible.

Finally, he looked away, wincing slightly as you accidentally scratched his wound. Your small apology and the comforting hand that cupped his knee were enough to make him feel lightheaded. You had already claimed his heart, it might as well be yours completely.

16th December #### [23:35]

In just three days, König had fallen head over heels with you. He believed that this fleeting enchantment was a reward for his heroic deeds. He had the pleasure of getting to know your father, basking in your delightful presence, and listening to the soothing melody of your voice as you read or sang to him.

As the days went by, König discovered some of your secrets —your deep passion for baking and your dream of opening a bakery. Your voice, sweet as honey, captivated him completely. Often, he found himself daydreaming as you enthusiastically shared your plans for the future. Secretly, he longed to be a part of that future, to spend countless nights gazing into your eyes, like a sky full of shimmering stars. He yearned to be by your side, to blend with you into a single entity and dive into the depths of an ocean where no one else could reach.

However, he knew that these moments were fleeting, for he had to leave. With a heavy heart and mournful eyes, he glanced around the cabin, wishing he could express his deep gratitude. He wanted nothing more than to whisk you away from this world, for you, a sweet and kind woman, deserved to be treated like a cherished princess from an old fairytale. His life was filled with terror, sins, and agony, while yours appeared to be nothing but pure bliss.

But he knew it wasn't right. You belonged here, and he was merely a simple disturbance in your perfect, sweet dream.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at you with a sad smile. Pulling you close, he breathed in the scent of your perfume, a blend of sweet vanilla and cinnamon, hoping to etch it into his memory forever. Reluctantly, he pulled away and gazed at you, his voice trembling as he spoke.

"Take care of yourself, Engel... I will come back."

Desiring a bond, something to remind you of him, he knew he couldn't be with you. At least, he wanted something of his to remain close to your heart. Before you could protest, he slipped a bracelet made of red beads onto your wrist, urging you to accept it despite your slight frown.

"It's a gift. Take care of it until I see you again."

Your lips quivered, realizing that this was the end, a potential tale cut short before it even began. There was nothing you could do to change it. Some things just weren't meant to be, and deep down, you already knew that. But Konig was no ordinary man you had met by chance. His eyes concealed a painful past, a gentle soul, and a heart overflowing with love. Finally, you mustered the words, accepting the gift.

"Thank you... I promise I'll take good care of it."

After that night, König never saw you again.

Months later, he returned, only to find the area abandoned, with no trace of his Engel. He lived in denial, refusing to face the reality. He knew you were somewhere in this world, and the mere thought of being close to you but not close enough tore him apart. He searched for you tirelessly, interrogating every individual who might have known of your whereabouts, but to no avail.

König was strong, enduring everything - the grueling training in freezing nights, bullets piercing his flesh, and the heart-wrenching loss of his precious comrades. Yet, losing you had left his heart in ruins. Only God knows how much he despised starting over, burying the past and pretending it never existed.

What have you done? Where have you hidden his heart? Will you give it back?

He sighed, his voice barely a whisper carried away by the cold breeze. Years later, he continued the ritual he had adopted after losing you. Every night, he would gaze at the old scars you had left behind, his fingers tracing the marked flesh, finding solace in reminiscing about your sweet gestures when you tended his wounds.

König snapped back to reality, feeling a reassuring pat on his shoulder from Horangi, his steadfast companion. The bond between them was stronger than that of brothers, providing unwavering support in the face of any adversity. They stepped outside together, deciding to stop at a café for some coffee while keeping an eye out for their next task.

As they approached the café, König's heart tightened at the sight of its name, "Engel." He pushed open the door, a weight of anticipation settling upon him. The familiar scent engulfed him as he made his way to the counter. A woman greeted him with a warm smile, whispering softly,

"Just a moment, and I'll be right with you!"

Her voice and smile, etched in his memory for a lifetime, made his mind wander. And then, he noticed the familiar red bracelet adorning her wrist. It couldn't be possible. He muttered, his voice barely audible, as if he was once again a wounded soldier in the woods, "Engel ?"

[aristocratic-otter]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Thank you, @artsyunderstudy, @skee3000, and @roomwithanopenfire for the ask.

  Hmmm, Ok. I guess I’ll choose based on which of my own fics I actually reread the most. That means my favorites are: 

A Real Doll

My first explicit fic, written for the Monster Under the Bed fest, this was where I really started to feel like I could be up there writing with the fanfic gods I’d looked up to. @captain-aralias liked it, that was an achievement! This was actually very very loosely based on a CSI fanfic I read forever ago (really, the only similarity was a lifelike sex doll), but in it Baz decides to try to wank his feelings for Simon away in a much more involved fashion by basically fucking a sex doll he makes that looks like Simon. But then Simon walks in on this happening and, well...you’ll have to read it to find out. 

A Fucked-Up Cinderella Story

This was my first EGF fic, and, more importantly, my first collaboration. Working with @frjsti was eye-opening in so many ways. I found out how wonderful it can be when a writer and artist work together, and how much greater the result is than either could accomplish alone. 

Plus, I’m still amused by the titular joke. 

In this fic, Baz was kept home by Malcolm after the vampire attack, for fear both of what other mages might do to him, and out of worry that Baz himself wouldn’t be able to control his vampire urges. 

In a misguided attempt to convince Baz that he can like women, Malcolm offers to hire him a male escort, with the twisted idea that if Baz doesn’t like having sex with a male, he might swing back to females. 

Enter Simon, who’s offered a shit-ton of money by a very discreet agency to provide one night of unimaginable pleasure to a mysterious client...

Careful What You Wish For

Another collaboration with an artist, this time for my first COBB, I worked with the imitable @ivelovedhimthroughworse (Apricot). Apricot was a fun and generous partner, and this being a collaboration is one reason it’s a favorite. 

The other reasons have to do with me being a massive science nerd and getting to nerd out about multiple universe theories, and with this being my first fully original plotty work (previous ones either weren’t plotty, or were based on existing movies/stories/history).

In Careful, Simon, in a fit of rage, accidentally wishes that Baz had never been born. This catapults him into a universe that never had a Baz Pitch and Simon has to learn how much he actually cares about Baz (and don’t worry, Baz himself enters the story before too long).

Gates of Ivory and Horn

This was a gift fic for @prettylightsbigcity, and what I like so much about it is how it gave me a chance to play with mythology, with the boundary between life and death, and with the ripple effects of one choice on future timelines. Plus, some very hot scenes and plenty of angst, it’s exactly the type of fic I choose to read when others write it. 

When the Oneiroi, Greek gods of dreams in the form of ravens, attack Watford, Simon is one of the first to fall. He’s trapped in a dream where he’s offered the choice of two gates. The catch is, one gate shows only truth, one shows only falsehoods. If he chooses the wrong gate, he’ll be trapped in the dream forever. 

But how could a future where he ends up with Baz be the true one?

For the last, I’m torn between three or four other fics, but I think I’ll go with The Naked Next.  It was a gift fic for @raenestee, and one of several fics set in the same universe.  I’m choosing this because it gave me a chance to be fun and silly, but also nerd out on some of my favorite science topics. And it let me write SnowBaz into one of my favorite (silly) Star Trek episodes. And most off all, I got to work with a lovely bunch of people, including @facewithoutheart, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @cutestkilla, @mostlymaudlin, @thewholelemon, and @artsyunderstudy (and others who may yet be revealed. The expansiveness of the universe we’ve built together is endlessly thrilling for me, and I’m grateful to @facewithoutheart for inviting me to be involved. 

In this story, Simon is the Bajoran rebel turned Starfleet security chief on the Redemption. Baz is his half-Cardassian former roommate/ nemesis and constant obsession. When the Redemption answers a distress call to a vessel where people are acting like the whole world is a party, some of the away team unfortunately bring a contagion back to the Redemption with them. 

In the timeless words of Porky Pig, Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!

[wildsupernova]

summer, sun, and a smoking engine.

summary: when your car breaks down on the side of the road in Hawkins, Indiana, you don’t have many options other than try walking and find help. Thankfully, Steve Harrington is here to help.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warnings: strong language, no use of y/n, little bit of mechanic eddie thrown in there (not really a warning but i have nowhere else to put this)

a/n: hello! this fic is a bit self indulgent, i guess you would call it. my love life has been quite terrible pretty much all my life, and i’m the kind of person who can’t help dreaming about a movie cliche type meet cute, so i wanted to write this fic to help quell my insatiable desire for a rom com romance. this is part one of what will probably be a three part series, so i hope you enjoy! :)

if you’d like to make a request, my inbox is always open. i also have my prompts list linked below so you request one of those as well.

part 2 (coming soon) | masterlist | prompts list

Stranded on the side of the road in Hawkins, Indiana was not the way you wanted to start your summer vacation. 

You should be in Indianapolis by now, lounging by the pool at your best friend’s house, raiding her parent’s liquor cabinet and getting drunk off your asses until you can’t remember anything the next morning. Not here, pounding against the steering wheel of your shitty rustbucket of a car wishing you’d actually remembered to do what your dad told you and take it to a mechanic before you made the trip. The horn honked as you slammed your forehead into it, but it was quickly swallowed up by endless fields on either side of you. 

The universe had a sick sense of humor when it came to you in particular, and it seemed the jokes never ended. Some vengeful god or cosmic plan had singled you out as the sole outlet for their aggression; just a girl with a particularly unremarkable life, desperate to escape the world just for a few weeks and forget about her ridiculously non-existent love life and only slightly above average academic career. 

Lately, your life has felt like one big joke. Everyday seemed to be the exact same mind numbing routine; wake up late, rush to make it to your 9 am lecture that left you falling asleep halfway through, eat the same shitty college cafeteria lunch you always did, spend three hours cramming for a test you know you’ll fail anyway, and go to bed at 2 am just to wake up and do it all over again the next day. You watched everyone else around you do something with their lives, whether they were partying all night or getting married. Everyone seemed to be having ten times more fun than you, and you were starting to think that you were just destined for a lonely, less than exceptional life. 

By the time you hit 20 with no long term relationships ever (none that really meant anything, anyway), you’d begun to think it was all futile. Maybe you were destined to be alone forever, maybe you just weren’t looking in the right places, maybe it just wasn’t the right time, but whatever the reason, it had you banging your head against the wall every time your roommate gushed about how sweet and sexually adept her boyfriend was. 

That’s why it really shouldn’t have surprised you that today of all days would be the one where you end up stranded in a town you’d never heard of until you saw the ‘Welcome to Hawkins’ sign a few miles ago.

You’d seen a few cars coming this direction before your car had broken down, so you knew there had to be some sort of civilization not far from here. You’d considered standing by your car and waiting in the hopes that someone would stop to help you, but the sun was already beginning to set and it didn’t really seem like the safest idea to be alone in your car at sundown, especially in some place you didn’t know. That’s what pushed you towards what you were doing now, walking down the long stretch of road and hoping that you’d find someone who could help you not too far down it. 

Somehow, it seemed to feel hotter now that the sun was beginning to set, blistering heat causing sweat to begin forming on your skin almost the minute you stepped out of your car. You’d chosen the wrong day to wear a sundress and sandals, the arches of your feet burning more and more the longer you walked. You swatted at probably thousands of mosquitos that began to swarm you as you walked, and by the time you finally saw the signs of the city, you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead from the thick coating of sweat collecting there. 

The sun was about halfway set by the time you reached the parking lot of the small strip mall, and when you looked at the watch on your wrist it blinked dimly at half past 5. Every store was closed already except for one, a small Family Video store with a single maroon BMW parked outside the door. Finding it the only option you had other than to keep walking, and hoping the AC inside would be working, you pushed your way through the door and hoped someone inside would let you use the phone. And the bathroom. 

“I’m telling you, Robin, I’m hopeless.” Steve struggled to hold the stack of tapes in his hand, almost sending all of them tumbling to the floor when he tripped over a bump in the carpet. 

“You’re not hopeless, you’re just looking in the wrong places.”

“The hell does that mean?”

“Maybe stop looking for the type of girl you had in high school? You’ve matured, so start looking for something new.”

“That's the problem, I don’t even know what my type is.” He placed the stack of tapes on the counter, picking up a few that fell over. Robin came to stand next to him, taking the tape off the top of the stack and starting to rewind it.

“I don’t know what to tell you, figure it out. Who knows? Maybe your dream girl will come walking right through that door any minute.”

The universe has one sick sense of comedic timing, doesn’t it?

Steve opened his mouth to offer up a rebuttal but was cut off by the chime of the bell above the door, hinges squeaking at it flung open then shut rather harshly. He turned towards the door and prepared to give his stupid, fake customer service greeting, but was cut short when he saw who it was that had just come through the door. 

He had never seen anyone like you. Hair a mess as if your hands had been running through it for hours, covered in sweat and rocking back and forth on your heels to stop your feet from hurting, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anything more beautiful. Wearing a black sundress covered in white daisies and flat brown sandals, you looked like something out of a rom com cliche, damsel in distress stumbling into his life at just the right time. You looked around the store almost frantically and visibly irritated, but the second you laid your eyes on Steve on the other side of the counter you breathed a sigh of relief. 

He had to snap himself out of whatever trance you put him in when you started walking towards him. 

“Hey, do you guys have a phone I can use? My car broke down like a mile from here and I really need to call a mechanic.”

“Uh, yeah, there’s a phone in the back you can use.” A stray strand of hair fell into Steve’s face as he physically shook himself back into reality. “My friend’s a mechanic, I can give you the number to his shop if you want.”

“That would be perfect, thank you.” The relieved laugh you let out made his face heat up a bit, and he quickly grabbed a piece of paper to scribble the number to Eddie’s garage down on. He ripped it off and handed it to you, nodding towards the door reading ‘Employees Only’.

“Phone’s back there, take all the time you need.”

“Thank you so much,” Your eyes flitted down to the name tag on his vest, flashing him a soft grin. “Steve.”

Once you disappeared into the back room, Steve leaned forward against the counter. Robin let out a whistle and hopped up to sit on the counter next to him, kicking her feet back and forth. 

“Man, I was kidding when I said she’d walk through the door any minute, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that starstruck by a girl you just met.”

“She’s probably just…passing through town. Who knows if I’ll ever see her again after this.” Steve popped the tape out of the machine and put another one in, trying to occupy himself with anything other than thinking about you. 

“So? When has that ever stopped you before?”

“I don’t know, Robin. It’ll probably end in disaster just like every other time.”

“I don’t care. If you don’t take your shot with this girl, I might just kill you.”

Almost on cue, the door to the back room swung open again, a visible shift in your demeanor than when you’d walked in. You looked far less tense, and Steve found it hard to keep his eyes off of you. 

“You are truly a life saver. With any luck, I’ll be out of here and back on the road before sundown.” 

“It’s no problem, really.” Steve turned his head away to hide the blush on his cheeks. He gave Robin a look as she silently pushed him to keep the conversation going, eventually holding his hands up in surrender. “My shift’s almost over so I can, uh, give you a ride back to your car, if you want. I’d hate for you to have to walk all the way back in this heat. Plus it's almost dark, I wouldn't want a girl like you wandering around out there alone.”

Steve pressed his lips together tightly when he realized what he’d said, but the smile on your face let him relax. 

“I’d like that, thank you.” You rocked back and forth on your heels while you waited for Steve to gather his things, dress swishing back and forth against your thighs. You laughed a little to yourself while he scrambled frantically, muttering something to himself while he flushed red up to his ears. You flashed him a sweet smile when he finally had all his things, following him out the door and into the beemer you’d seen parked outside when you first arrived. 

Steve was handsome, there was absolutely no denying that. Sunkissed skin that was likely the result of hours of relaxing by the pool, fluffy brown hair you couldn’t help but want to run your hands through and the kindest brown eyes you’d ever seen. You were sure that at one time in his life he was a heartbreaker with all those good looks and boyish charm, but the way he got flustered just talking to you made you believe that he had put those days long past him. 

He seemed almost nervous sitting in the car with you, doing his best to keep his eyes on the road while stealing a few quick glances at you. He adjusted himself in the seat and cleared his throat, trying to break the tension in the air. 

“So, uh, what brings you to Hawkins?”

“Just passing through on my way to visit a friend in Indianapolis.” You smoothed down the skirt of your dress to find something to do with your hands. “Was hoping I’d get there by nightfall but, unfortunate turn of events I suppose.”

“Where are you from?”

“Out of state.” You kept it vague, still not quite sure if you could totally trust him. “I go to school in Indiana though.”

A few seconds later, your car finally came into view, seemingly in much worse shape than you left it. White smoke now billowed from underneath the hood, and you leaned yourself against the dash to try to get a better look from inside the car.

“No, no no no.” As soon as Steve made a U-turn and parked his car behind yours, you opened the door and ran over, running a hand through your hair in a panic. 

“I’m sure it's not…that bad.” Steve tilted his head as he came up next to you, scrunching his face as he looked at the smoke continuing to spill from your engine. “Yeah, I don’t think it's supposed to do that.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You let out a groan before collapsing to the curb, head in your hands. “I should have listened to my dad when he told me to get it checked. Now who knows how long it’ll be before I can get back on the road.”

“Look, Eddie’s good at what he does.” Steve sat down next to you, nudging his shoulder into yours to offer some comfort. “He’ll have her back up and running in no time.”

“Yeah, well, it’ll take a miracle to fix all the problems with this piece of shit.”

Steve’s small chuckle was drowned out by the rumble of an engine, raising your head to see a tow truck traveling down the road towards you and your still smoking car. The red, hand painted detailing stood out against the black body of the truck, and as it got closer, you could hear the rumble of metal music blaring out of the open truck window. The driver, who you had yet to catch a glimpse of, backed the truck until the winch was close to the front of your car, the truck letting out one last puff of smoke through the exhaust as the engine shut off. 

“Always picking up strays, aren’t you Harrington?” The driver called out at Steve as he opened the truck’s door, a soft thud sound following after as he hopped out of the truck. Steve rolled his eyes. 

“I’m helping someone whose car broke down.”

“Mhmm. Bet you wouldn’t be helpin’ em if they weren’t so pretty though.” The man that had stepped out of the truck was the last person you’d expect to run a mechanic’s garage. Long, curly black hair down to his shoulders, arms covered in mismatched tattoos, and a cocky smirk on his face while he chewed on a toothpick. He looked to be only a few years older than yourself, and while you could tell that his disposition was likely off putting to most people he met, you found it oddly…comforting. Better a charming metalhead than a greasy bald guy drenched in sweat, you supposed. 

“You gonna get her car down to the garage or what?” Steve put his hands on his hips, earning a laugh from the other man. 

“Lemme assess the damage man. I gotta see what I’m working with.” He walked to the front of the car, playfully shoeing Steve away from it while he popped the hood. As soon as he did, smoke puffed out from around the engine, causing him to cough and wave it out of his face. He let out a whistle, leaning over the car to get a better look at the engine. “Good news, probably just a busted radiator hose. Easy and cheap fix, no biggie. Bad news? I won’t be able to fix it til’ the morning.”

“What?” You stood up from where you sat on the curb, leaning against the car. “I’m supposed to be in Indianapolis tonight. What am I gonna do?”

“Well, I’m sure ole Stevie over here can help you figure something out, can’t you Harrington?” He clasped his hand on Steve’s shoulder and gave him a rather rough shake. Steve sent him a glare before turning back to you, trying to offer up a sympathetic smile.

“There’s a motel a few minutes into town. Nobody ever stays there, so there should be room. I can give you a ride over, if you want.”

You took a second to take in your surroundings. Here you were, stranded on the side of the road in an unfamiliar small town, with a car that had no chance of working until morning and no way to tell your friend you wouldn’t make it to her house tonight. Your only other option was to start hitchhiking, so staying in a dead end motel sounded good right about now. 

“I guess I don’t really have many other options.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, Eddie’ll take good care of her.” Eddie winked at you playfully, bringing a small smile to your face. “And Stevie here will take good care of you.”

“Eddie, come on man.” Steve hid his face in embarrassment while Eddie snickered, clapping him on the back when he went to hook up the winch. You hide the redness in your own cheeks behind your hands.

“Sorry man, couldn’t help it.” Once the winch was hooked up and the front wheels of the car were off the ground, Eddie hopped back into the truck, leaning out the window to call down to you before he left. “I’ll get to work on her first thing in the morning, promise. She’ll be good as new before you know it.” 

He flashed you another smile before starting up the truck again, driving back towards town while you stood there watching your car get dragged along behind him. 

“Sorry about Eddie. He can be…alot, sometimes.” Steve leaned on the hood of his car, crossing his arms over his chest. You shrugged.

“S’okay. He reminds me a lot of a few of my friends back home, actually.” Steve chuckled a bit and nodded towards his car. 

“Well, you’ll be able to handle him better than me then. Come on, I’ll take you over to the motel.” You climbed back into the passenger seat of Steve’s car, sending him a quick thank you before he drove off. 

The sun was almost fully behind the horizon when you finally pulled into the parking lot of the ‘Stop Inn Motel’, a small, two story collection of motel rooms with a main office smack dab in the middle of it. There were only a few other cars in the parking lot, and the flashing neon ‘vacancy’ sign above your head almost made your head hurt in the dimming light. 

The girl behind the counter only looked up from her magazine after you rung the bell, rolling her eyes as she stood from her chair. 

“It’s $10 a night for a single, $15 for a double.”

“Just a single for the night, please.” You went to reach into your wallet for cash but Steve stopped you, handing over his own $10 bill to the desk attendant. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You’ve already had a shitty enough day. It’s 10 bucks, no big deal.” Your shoulders relaxed at the soft smile on Steve’s face, kind eyes softening when he saw the way your mood rose a little. The girl behind the counter dangled a set of keys in front of you, which you took quickly.

“Checkout at 2 tomorrow. Stay after check out and it's a $5 fee per hour unless you pay for another night.” You gave her a nod and a thank you, which she ignored before heading back to her chair from before and flipping through her magazine again. 

Steve helped carry your bags from his trunk up to your room, standing outside while he passed you your bags over the threshold. You thanked him one more time before going to close the door, but he cleared his throat nervously to stop you. 

“Hey, uhm, you’re probably starving after everything today and I thought maybe I could…show you the best places to eat around town while you’re here?” The nervous wringing of his hand had your heart swelling in your chest. You were usually the one nervous around guys like Steve, and you simply couldn’t find it in yourself to turn down his offer. You’d always wanted to take more chances. Why not this one?

“I’d like that.” He raised his head as if he’d expected you to say no, smile curling his lips upwards. “Just give me an hour to get changed. I’m, like, drenched in sweat and dirt right now.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Good. See you then.”

You watched Steve all the way back to his car, closing the door behind you once he got out of your view. You leaned against it for a moment and took a deep breath in, then frantically began opening your luggage to find something to wear. 

Hey, maybe your piece of shit car was good for something after all. 

⊲Part 2, coming soon⊳

[ladysomething]

Hello! Back with more thoughts! I can already tell this is going to be way too long, I am so sorry in advance, dont feel like you have to respond!! But first of all, I saw an ask where you said you liked Taylor Swift and since you were at the AUS GP, I must ask- did you get to go to the Eras Tour in Australia? I will be incredibly jealous if you did!! Anyways, AHHH THIS CHAPTER!! I have so many thoughts, I wish I could share all of them, but that would actually turn this ask into a real essay and this will already be too long lol.

I LOVED the new things we learned about the Dreyma Ver-öld!!! So interesting that people still feel pain there, but in a lesser way (does the same thing apply when sensing emotions through a bond, like Max can do with Charles now?) and so interesting that they don’t visit it while in heat/rut. And very very interesting that injuries received in there exist in the real world too!! I am DYING to know what Max’s is like, since I get the feeling it’s not quite the safe space that Charles’ is.

THE COLLAR?! I’m seeing everyone freaking out about it, but not going to lie, I burst out laughing when I read that part. OF COURSE Max would be *that* petty and throw Charles’ comment back in his face like that. I am obsessed with them and the way you write them. And the collar is awful and humiliating, but I am also excited for its reappearance 😏

I was so excited for a Max POV last chapter, but I semi-take that back now because knowing both of their perspectives and seeing wildly wrong they both are about each other just makes me want to lock them in a room and barricade the door until they figure out what a communication is. I’m frustrated as hell now, but also absolutely living for the angst while I wait for them to figure out what words are!!

I think Charles is incredibly stupid for thinking Ferarri is going to care about him starving himself. And Charles clearly isn’t caring about himself beyond just trying to get away from Max right now, so it feels incredibly twisted that Max is kind of the only person who is knows what is going on with Charles and cares about Charles (even if he seems to care in an incredibly weird and fucked up way right now). 

LOVE how susceptible you’ve made Charles is to alphas and how that fucks up the power dynamic EVEN more (the way he reacts to Pierre now???, the way he said that if Max had used his alpha voice, he would have been out for HOURS????!!!!) I have a feeling that this is a big reason that Max isn’t letting him go anywhere, and that this will become veryyyyy relevant (perhaps with a certain Mercedes mechanic 👀) later????

There’s SO much more I want to say but this is WAYYYY too long (sorry!!!), so super quick honourable mentions: 

happy dance when I saw the fic title in the chapter!!

“Maybe it’ll come to fruition as soon as the Monaco GP” I am suddenly TERRIFIED for what you have planned for Charles’ home race

Pierre becoming visibly worried in response to Charles getting a maniacal little grin and coming up with an awful plan had me absolutely rolling I love the way you write everyone

Eek it was all so good!! I am so excited to eventually get to the point in this fic where we start getting answers instead of more questions but I LOVE this suspense you’re building!! Thank you for sharing <3

you've triggered me very deeply, because I did NOT GO TO THE ERAS TOUR. I COULDN'T GET TICKETS. I stg I cried for like 3 days when I missed out lol. and then also had a weep when I watched the movie. I will forever rage at people who went to like 5 nights because how the FUCK did they get those tickets!!!!

I'm so glad you like the dream world so much. there are some reallllyyyyyy fun scenes planned for that place.

zipped lips re the alpha voice!!!! but it's also going to be coming back!!!

Pierre thought "does Charles not remember that the last time he thought he had a great plan he got bought by Max" and you know what??? that was very real of him

I think the answers are going to start trickling in pretty soon!! I think? Well, I think so at least haha. the next Max POV gives some pretty good insight into a couple things.

[fear-less]

Taylor Swift song master-list

info: i write fics inspired by Taylor’s songs, i’m planning on making most, if not all, of her songs into fics.

feel free to request for any song:3

——————————————————————————

taylor swift (debut)

tim mcgraw

picture to burn

teardrops on my guitar

a place in this world

cold as you

the outside

tied together with a smile

stay beautiful

should’ve said no

mary’s song - fred weasley x reader

our song

i’m only me when i’m with you

invisble

a perfectly good heart

——————————————————————————

fearless

fearless

fifteen

love story

hey stephen

white horse - sirius black x reader

you belong with me

breathe

tell me why

you’re not sorry

the way i loved you

forever & always

the best day

change

jump then fall - harry potter x reader

untouchable

come in with the rain

superstar

the other side of the door

today was a fairytale

you all over me

mr. perfectly fine

we were happy

that’s when

don’t you

bye bye baby

if this was a movie

——————————————————————————

speak now

mine

sparks fly

back to december

speak now

dear john

mean

the story of us

never grow up

enchanted

better than revenge

innocent

haunted

last kiss

long live

ours

superman

electric touch

when emma falls in love

i can see you

castles crumbling

foolish one

timeless

——————————————————————————

red

state of grace

red

treacherous

i knew you were trouble

all too well

22

i almost do

we are never ever getting back together

stay stay stay

the last time - james potter x reader x regulus black

holy ground

sad beautiful tragic

the lucky one

everything has changed

starlight

begin again

the moment i knew

come back…be here

girl at home

state of grace

better man

nothing new

babe

message in a bottle

i bet you think about me

forever winter

run

the very first night

safe and sound

all too well (10 min ver)

——————————————————————————

1989

welcome to new york

blank space

style

out of the woods

all you had to do was stay

shake it off

i wish you would

bad blood

wildest dreams

how you get the girl

this love

i know places

clean

wonderland

you are in love

new romantics

“slut!”

say don’t go

now that we don’t talk

suburban legends

is it over now?

——————————————————————————

reputation

…ready for it?

end game

i did something bad

don’t blame me

delicate

look what you made me do

so it goes… - draco malfoy x reader

gorgeous

getaway car

king of heart

dancing with our hands tied

dress - harry potter x reader

this is why we can’t have nice things

call it what you want

new year’s day

i don’t wanna live forever

——————————————————————————

lover

i forgot that you existed

cruel summer

lover

the man

the archer

i think he knows

miss americana & the heartbreak prince

paper rings

cornelia street

death by a thousand cuts

london boy

soon you’ll get better

false god - harry potter x reader

you need to calm down

afterglow

me!

it’s nice to have a friend

daylight

all of the girls you’ve loved before - james potter

——————————————————————————

folklore

the 1

cardigan

the last great american dynasty

exile

my tears ricochet

mirror ball

seven

august

this is me trying

illicit affairs

invisible string

mad women

epiphany

betty

peace

hoax

the lakes

——————————————————————————

evermore

willow

champagne problems

gold rush

‘tis the damn season

tolerate it

no body, no crime

happiness - remus lupin x reader x james potter

dorthea

coney island

ivy

cowboy like me

long story short

closure

evermore

right where you left me

it’s time to go

——————————————————————————

midnights

lavender haze

maroon - fred weasley x reader

anti hero

snow on the beach

you’re on your own, kid

midnight rain

question…?

vigilante shit

bejeweled

labyrinth

karma

sweet nothing

mastermind

the great war

bigger than the whole sky

paris

high infidelity

glitch

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve

dear reader

hits different

you’re losing me

——————————————————————————

the tortured poets department

fortnight

the tortured poets department

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

down bad

so long, london

but daddy i love him

fresh out the slammer

flordia!!!

guilty as sin?

who’s afraid of little old me?

i can fix him (no really i can)

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the smallest man who ever lived

the alchemy

clara bow

the black dog

imgonnagetyouback

the albatross

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

how did it end?

so high school

i hate it here

thanK you aImee

i look in peoples windows

the prophecy

cassandra

peter

the bolter

robin

the manuscript

[zanarkandfayth]

15 Questions

I was tagged by @ivorydice, thanks!

Tagging just... whoever. I don’t feel well and I don’t wanna think lmao

1. Are you named after anyone?

Well, I took "fayth" from Final Fantasy X because I adore the fayth so much and to me it's a gender neutral name. It started out combined with zanarkandfayth as a username idek when, late 2000s, and then just gradually evolved into me calling myself fayth. My legal name, no. My first name was apparently just easy for my dad to spell and my middle name is french because my mom likes the language. I hate both names and they can fuck off lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh... I have a hard time crying these days even though I want to. Almost did last night because surgery recovery has been a bitch, does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. Don't want them. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for another human being? And I did not win the gene lottery and the world sucks, I'm not inflicting this miserable existence on someone else.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, though less than I used to because even sarcasm is effort and I'm tired.

5. What sports do you/have you played?

I liked basketball as a kid, and baseball, though I wasn't any good at either. I used to like to run. Uuuh I also did taekwondo as a kid for a couple years? idk if a martial art counts as a sport though.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Hair... idk it's usually the most noticeable thing to me. Except that guy who came through my line at DT once who was about seven feet tall, I definitely noticed his height first.

7. Eye colour?

Mine? Boring brown. Will forever hate it.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I used to like/not mind scary movies when I was younger, but now I need the feel good chemicals. Also I don't watch movies anymore. Legit could not name the last movie I've watched at this point.

9. Any special talents?

Making my readers cry lmao. No, idk. What's considered special? What's considered a talent? I don't want to stand out.

10. Where were you born?

Southern US, the same miserable state I exist in now, good ole Tennessee, though I'm now at the opposite end of it from where I was born/grew up. It's worse on this end for sure.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, video games, cooking... I'd say reading but I don't do that as much as I used to. The guilt of not having the energy to comment on fics gets to me and so I just don't read at all instead :/

12. Do you have any pets?

A shithead named Max. He's a flamepoint siamese cat that an old neighbour rescued from where he'd been abandoned on the side of the road and me and my ex ended up taking him in. My ex named him (after mad max apparently and I hate his name lol) but he attached himself to me so when I kicked the ex out a couple years later for being an abusive cheating narcissistic asshole, Max stayed with me. He turned ten this May but he still zooms around the house like a kitten. I love him but my health problems have made it increasingly hard to take care of him so he's going to be my last cat.

13. How tall are you?

5'2, forever sobbing

14. Favourite subject in school?

English was the only one I really enjoyed just because it was so easy. When I did university for the third time (the one I actually graduated from lmao), I also really liked most of my sociology classes, enough to make it a second degree, and I liked my scottish history class. If I could afford a third degree it'd probably be in history.

15. Dream job?

At this point? Nothing. Being a stay at home husband (with no kids, yes), or being an eternal university student just taking classes and getting degrees for the heck of it would be my ideal. I would also like to try my hand at making my own video game, but a) I can't art for shit, and b) chronic fatigue makes even starting on learning coding too daunting. I don't even have the energy I want for my current hobbies.

[xunandran]

Fuck it Friday (Buddie Edition)

It's rough, it's not polished, but here's the first part of chapter 1 of my new Buddie fic I'm working on, 'Forever Only Exists in Dreams and Movies'.

Synopsis: Eddie has it all! He has the dream husband. He has the dream son. He has the dream job. The only problem is, it's only in his dreams.

---*---

“Hey! Hands off! Those are for guests!” Buck’s voice rings through from their kitchen to their living room sternly and Eddie pulls back from the stack of carefully piled finger foods. Chastened, he walks to where Buck’s standing at the counter, knife slicing effortlessly through vegetables. He lingers, admiring, a smile on his lips as, once again, the other man proves that he knows him maybe better than he knows himself. “Are you just going to stand there? Come help.” Eddie’s smile widens as he approaches Buck. Fingers dance along the string securing the other man’s apron before wrapping tightly around Buck’s waist from behind. “Eddie…”

“I know, I know. Five minutes.” He rests his head on Buck’s shoulder and sways, side to side. The sound of chopping is replaced by the clatter of Buck’s knife on the counter. Buck slides his fingers between Eddie’s, pulling the man tight against him. Their twin rings lightly clink against each other as the fingers of their left hands intertwine against Buck’s waist. Eddie breathes in, eyes drifting closed as he savors the soft scents of balsam, lavender, and a hint of whatever Buck’s been working all day cooking. “You smell good.” Eddie can feel  Buck’s wide smile against his cheek. 

“It’s that shampoo you liked,” Buck turns his head to the right and kisses Eddie’s cheek before lightly tapping his hands. “Time’s up. I have to get all this done before your coworkers arrive.” Eddie sighs contentedly and lightly kisses Buck’s neck before releasing him to his tasks. “Take those plates into the living room. And tell your son to get washed up for company.”

“Oh, he’s my son today, eh?” Eddie teases as he gathers the stacks of plates and flatware. 

“Yes. When he leaves his crutches out for me to trip on at six in the morning, he’s your son.” Buck’s tone is warm, sweet like the homemade pancakes that Eddie and Christopher had woken up to only a couple of hours before. 

Eddie always marvels how one man could be so carefree and affectionate one minute then a drill sergeant hellbent on torturing him the next. “Which side of the table do you want the plates on, dear?”

“Near the front door! Next to the napkins.” Eddie dutifully obliges. He’s just about to put the silverware down next to the plates when Buck adds “Silverware at the other end so they don’t have to carry it while they get food.”

“Silverware on the other end,” Eddie repeats quietly to himself as he follows instructions. “Why didn’t I think of that?” When Buck walks into the living room, tray of food carefully resting in his hands, Eddie can tell that he’s frazzled. After Buck places the food carefully on a trivet, Eddie gently takes his hands. “Breathe. It’s just people.”

Buck looks up at him, blue eyes twinkling. “It’s not just people, Eddie. This is your new team. Your new captain, I just want to make a good impress-”

Eddie silences Buck with a light kiss. “You always make a good impression, love.” He breathes in the other man, who calms against his lips. Even after over ten years, Buck’s lips are sweet, his presence heady and intoxicating. “They’re going to love you because I love you.”  He slides his thumbs over the knuckles of Buck’s steadying hands. The bright sunshine smile he receives for both the touch and the compliment makes him kiss Buck again. 

“Okay… okay,” Buck sighs. “You’re right. It’s just people.” He pulls his hands from Eddie’s and starts fussing about with the table again. “Do you think we should bring the drinks out here?” He looks at Eddie and is met with a bemused and longsuffering gaze. “You’re right… just people,” Buck repeats before turning to the back hallway. “Christopher! I hope you’re getting ready and not just playing video games back there!”

-*-

By the time the 118 arrives, Eddie’s not sure who’s more nervous: Buck, who has rearranged the food for the third time in five minutes, Christopher, who’s currently hovering near Eddie’s leg as he goes to answer the door, or Eddie himself. “Come in!” He steps aside to allow the team into the living room. While the house isn’t small by any means, adding another six bodies to the single room definitely makes it feel more restrictive. Athena offers Eddie a bottle of red wine as she and Bobby follow everyone else in. 

“Your home is lovely. Thank you for having us!” Her smile is warm, and Eddie feels a bit more at ease even though they’ve never met. Murmured assents from the rest of the team echo about as people try to get out of each other’s way. 

“Thank you,” Eddie says as he hands Buck the wine. “Thank you all for coming.” He rests his hands on Christopher’s shoulders and looks over at Buck. “Buck, Chris, these are the people I work with. That’s Captain Nash and Athena, Hen, Chimney, and Shannon. Everyone, this is my husband Evan Diaz, and our son, Christopher.” The words are thick in his throat and he’s not sure why. Nerves? Acceptance? Hen is married to a woman and has a kid of her own. Why would they think any different of his family?

Buck shakes the hands of Eddie’s team, first Bobby’s, then the rest in turn. “Buck, please. My husband’s too formal. After effects from being the military, I think.” He gestures to the kitchen. “What can I get you all to drink? We have soda, some sweet tea, beer, wine…” He holds up the bottle from Bobby and Athena. 

“Tea is great,” Bobby says and Athena and Hen agree. Chimney opts for a beer, as does Shannon, the youngest of the firefighters. Buck nods and excuses himself and Eddie moves to assist. Christopher is already ingratiating himself with the team, laughing and inviting Chimney to come play on the Playstation with him. 

“It’s going well,” Eddie insists, rubbing Buck’s back as the other man pours some tea. 

“It just started.” Buck sets the three glasses next to Eddie so that he can scoop them up  between his large hands. He grabs some beers and a juice for Christopher and pops the tops. With a deep breath, he looks at Eddie and fastens his best smile before walking back into the living room, drinks in hand. Eddie follows behind with the tea. 

“Here you all go!” Eddie’s magnanimous as he and Buck help get everyone sorted. He waves to the table. “Please, help yourself!”

Bobby looks at Eddie, eyes unreadable. Eddie’s not sure, but he swears he sees a bit of worry cross the captain’s face. He wants to ask, but Bobby turns to Buck and Christopher. “Why don’t you two give me a tour.” He glances pointedly back at Hen and Chimney before gently escorting Buck and Christopher into the back of the house. 

Chimney looks at Hen, a twinge of concern in his features as he looks at the food. “We probably should start two lines.”

The statement confuses Eddie. “Two lines? There’s…  there's only three of you.” But the two paramedics don’t pay him too much mind, one of them lining up on each side of the table. They fill their plates, talking hurriedly with each other as they move down the table. Maybe they’re just hungry and didn’t want to wait. Who was he to judge? He’d only been a probie for a couple weeks, but he’d already seen the after effects of firefighters on the back end of a twenty-four hour shift when dinner had been interrupted one to many times. 

A chill spikes in his arm, blooming and spilling through his chest. Nerves maybe? He looks back toward the bedrooms, hoping to catch a peek of Buck and Christopher. He can see Cap at the end of the hall, back to him. He smiles as he imagines Buck nervously talking Bobby’s ear off. And here Buck was worried that tonight wasn’t going to go well. Christopher’s probably pulled out his dinosaurs and is telling Bobby what he knows about each of them. 

A ringing crash erupts from behind him, and he flips around to look. Hen’s already on her knee scooping up the spilled food from her fallen plate. “I need a bag over here,” she says, a little more panicked than Eddie would expect for a simple accident. He jogs into his kitchen and fetches a small trash bag from under the kitchen sink. He’s winded by the time he kneels next to Hen, breaths too narrow for the way his chest wants to heave. It’s just an accident, he reminds himself as he starts helping Hen scoop the errant food into the trash bag.

From the back, Eddie hears Buck scramble into the living room. Before he can process, his husband has dropped to his knees and is frantically helping Hen clean the mess from the floor. His eyes are wide, panicked. Eddie’s not sure he’s seen him this scared before. It’s just food. Yes, he knows he likes to tease Buck about taking hosting too seriously or about being a tyrant whenever they plan a barbecue or a picnic, but it's just food. It's not life or death.

Hen flashes a hot stare toward Buck. “You need to step away and let me handle this.”

Eddie’s not sure what’s going on, but Buck doubles down, rooting himself and glaring across the spilled plate. “This is my house. This is where I belong.” Eddie reaches toward his husband, but Buck pushes him away, knocking him on his ass. What is happening here? He tries to get up, but he’s lightheaded and there’s a blooming copper tang in his mouth, like he’s bit his tongue. 

He stands, annoyed at the entire situation. Great way to make an impression. Chimney and Bobby look at each other, then at Buck. From behind Bobby, he can see Christopher’s tear stained gaze. He stalks from the living room and kneels to hug Christopher, but the child pulls away and darts into his room, slamming the door behind him. It means something that Bobby focuses on the door, brows knit in pensive thought before returning to the team, but Eddie doesn’t quite know what.

In the hall, things make more sense. The clamor of his teammates and his husband is quieter here. He slides down next to Christopher’s door and lightly raps on it. “Chris? Buddy?” The door doesn’t open. “Nobody’s mad at you. There was just an accident in the living room. Buck’s cleaning it up now.”

Buck’s cleaning it all up now. He’ll make sure everything gets taken care of. There’s nobody he trusts more. The lightheadedness returns, more muted this time. It’s almost like he’s floating, but he’s still here in his house with his husband and his son. He doesn’t stand as the 118 leave. Buck helps them with leftovers so the fridge isn’t overflowing with cold cuts and finger foods. He doesn’t know how he’s going to face them tomorrow at the station. Somehow he’ll manage. He always does. That’s the thought in his mind as he drifts, eyes fluttering closed and head lolling against the corner between wall and door. 

-*-

The jolt awake is sudden, ratcheting through his chest and pulling the dim light of the hall’s nightlight sharply into focus. He can hear light snoring from beyond the door. Christopher must have gone to sleep. What time was it? Low murmurs filter from the living room, a woman’s voice. Buck’s watching the news, a cup of cocoa gripped between both hands as he curled on the couch. Eddie stands behind him and massages his shoulder. The living room is pristine, no evidence of the incident from earlier remaining. Buck spares a hand to cup Eddie’s and they rest in the simple touch as Taylor Kelly moves on to a new segment.

“And now, a chance to help those who spend their days helping us. The Los Angeles Fire Department is looking for information concerning a hit and run that took place today on La Maida off of Ventura Boulevard. Sources close to the department say that one of their own is in critical condition after being struck while out with his family. From what little we have, it appears that he was struck by a red Ford extended cab, which fled the scene after the accident. No other injuries were reported. The LAPD and LAFD is asking that any information be directed to the number on the screen, and that you keep the firefighter, whose name has not been released for privacy reasons, in your thoughts.”

[moonlightperseus]

Oh don't even worry about it! Half the time I send the anons *at* work so I can't really judge!

I also think that's more so what I do, bit then because of that I'm like "oh I guess I'm done now" bit then the second someone is like "oh comics?" I am feral. Even recently I was at work (the store I work at is doing Reno's so we had to be there to stock over night, ie: there's like 4 people in the store total) and the person I was working with was like "yeah I went to Comicon?" And I was like "why did you go to comic-con if you don't like comics?" And long story short I infodumped so much (she was at the very least, pretending to be engaged in the conversation and I will forever love her for that) that a floorer from ACROSS THE STORE was like "wow they're really nerding out over there huh."

I think so! It was like genuinely when it first came out- i had two influences, one very specific person on my tumblr (you, I believe) and then like a friend at the time.

I didn't like it either but this time it didn't stop mr- the tales however I'm not caught up on. I found them less engaging. (Granted, was that a "I don't think I like this" or a "I forgot I liked comics and now it's been months so I don't actually know what I was reading or where I was in said thing"?)

I hate zombie media (though I tend to have a lot of dreams about zombies lmao) so I understand that. I haven't read any of them or even watched an episode. I just think that's like their BIG name. (and Spawn, but I can't tell you shit about spawn)

I absolutely LOVE the new run. Like I know it's only one issue in so I'm saying that a little early but I was SO excited when Sin was mentioned. I used to write Black Canary fan fic and I had a little idea I never followed through with where Sin came back, mostly because I was just angry that she didn't exist anymore. (granted she came back as a villian, though she switches sides. I don't remember most of my thoughts but I remember designing the costume and trying to include obvious inspiration from black Canary's without being like, a direct copy. (things like fishnets, for sure, but not even full leg fishnets. Iirc it was more so kind of like pants with cut outs that showed fishnets- bit all of this is extra beside the point)) so I was OVERJOYED when she was brought back. I am so intrigued and Dinah deserves her daughter back. (I understand the sister thing in context but that's not how I see it ever)

I ALSO am so intrigued, honestly. Plus it's extra funny because if you take into consideration the Green Arrow and Black Canary run: this is the second family member of Dinah's the Amazon's have stolen.

I was really mad when the BoP movie didn't include Babs (especially since she started it, so how do you make an origin story without the origin?) But I agree that I don't mind this at all. Especially since she is mentioned and it really does keep them as bestfriends (well, it alludes to that so if you're me and you say so that means it keeps them as bestfriends) I haven't read a lot of batfam comics aside from Batwoman bit honestly I love Cass too, she shows up in one of the older runs just as a "friend" of Dinah and idk id die for her. Barda I LOVE (to be fair I am a lesbian and I do have a thing for women built like tanks) so I'm super excited to see more of her!! And I agree that I've never heard of zealot.

Harley is great too!! I was really excited for her and Dinah's relationship (because yes, those would've been injustice panels- and they are BEST friends in injustice and they own my entire heart) but I was disappointed when Harley didn't like Dinah. It makes sense in context but I'm still like hey no love her.

To be so honest I didn't even bother trying to read it but I love that you did. That makes it easier for me. I love the whole vibe of her having to plan. I feel like she'd be good at it given her time leading both the JLA and the JSA.

I'd also just like to say that I find the new bop art style beautiful

Injustice is a lot of fun, but like I said I might be biased. It's hard to say, because when I started reading it I had really only read a couple Harley Quinn and wonder woman comics and all things considered was really just a fake fan. But I read it and it turned me on to comics as a whole. (especially, since I said in my initial ask, it's what introduced me to Dinah). I would recommend it to people just starting out especially because it's the kind with such a big cast of characters you can meet new ones and get acquainted with them and it broadens your horizons so to say. (I also play the games, though "play" is a strong word because I suck at video games- I haven't gotten through either story, but my brother let me watch the lil character endings for my favourites when *he* beat them). But at the same time, yeah men. Men exist in it. Like a lot.

I also haven't finished bombshells tbch. I love the style of it but I bought the first volume and was just so sad about how much comics cost that I didn't buy another volume (95% of my comics are used, gifted, or bought from the dollarstore)

I absolutely love getting to nerd out about comics lmao so this is great-

And I will say for wlw I LOVE Secret Six, which is a villian team, and tbch I haven't gotten through the whole run (I just keep getting tired of comics as a whole, not of it) but it's written by Gail Simone at the same time as her BOP run (though I know she's hit and miss) but it involves a lesbian polyam relationship (and one of the women involved is built like Barda so that gets extra points from me)

(well tonight i’m responding while at work lol)

first can i say i openly welcome infodumping about comics!! i find the dc universe particularly sooo interesting (i’ve enjoyed some marvel comics as well, but like the world itself doesn’t intrigue me the same way?) i’ve been into superheroes ever since i discovered like the animated shows when i was a kid (i thinkkk the first one i watched was the animated avengers assemble? i watched several of them but my most beloved is the justice league (& justice league unlimited) show. in my completely unbiased opinion, i think the animated shows are a great gateway into the comics world. i devoured every single one i could find. i also really enjoyed the x-men ones & have thought about trying out some x-men comics bc of them. (but the x-men world is another one sooo fucking big idk where to begin lmao)

also god. “i forgot i liked comics and don’t remember where i was at” is SUCH a huge fucking mood god. esp bc there’s always SO GODDAMN much of comics (not that i’m complaining) it’s like. wait have i read this already?

yeah ik there was a lot of upset fans over the bop movie with it not including babs and with turning cass into an oc (which. now that i’ve actually read her comics i understand the full scale of how much they uhh. changed cass for the movie) but i am simply such a bitch for black canary and jurnee smollett dinah sooo godtier that that movie was simply everything to me lmao, i feel like it had a lot of potential to set up for a proper bop movie (one that’s not centric on harley) and like. maybe even bring in babs, they WERE doing the batgirl movie so ig it sort of makes sense if that’s why they left babs out of the first movie but like if post batgirl they added her to the movie bop lineup that could work! and then they fucking canned the batgirl movie which i’m still pissed about and now the dceu is kinda like. imploded? but i’m gonna hold on to the probably somewhat delusional hope that i will get to see jurnee smollett dinah again 😭 (also like my dream is jurnee smollett BC with luke mitchell GA, which is an especially out there dream since luke mitchell as ollie exists only in my head & heart)

also totally get the comics being expensive thing, while i have physical copies of the original bombshells run that i got thru i think a combination of being gifted and buying them for myself as a little treat, i used hoopla (online library app) to read the bombshells united run. hoopla is like my main (legal) way of reading comics tbh, however if you need an…alternative 😉 access to a LOT of comics this site has been my best friend. i do genuinely recommend trying to continue bombshells its genuinely my absolute favorite. like DC peaked with bombshells and i will die on that hill. i would love if dc gave bombshells an animated film or smth. another thing i will hold out hope for jsjsjfjsjs. i just really love dc bombshells (it definitely helps that it’s super wlw. i am a changed man from bombshells vixen and hawkgirl being a couple. and supergirl kissing lois lane <3)

i will definitely have to add secret six to my list of comics to checkout bc wlw content is always a huge win for me!!!

[sapphoslastsong]

A Life With You

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Fluff | Sad Ending

Summary: spending your life with Natasha Romanoff by your side. But dreams sometimes don’t last forever…

A/N: Hey, I’m back with my second fic! This time is Natasha’s turn! I also remind you that English is not my native language, but anyway hope you’ll like it!!

April 20 2015

She is there, and I can’t stop looking at her, she is a literal masterpiece made person, sculpted by the Gods of any Mythology, and well, me is just me, nothing special, she will never notice me..

April 25 2015

She is there, she smiled at me for the first time you know?! Oh god it felt like a dream, I thought she wouldn’t even know my existence! But she does, now she does!

April 30 2015

She is there, I had my first training with her yesterday, it was hard you know?! I knew she was strong, I mean she’s a trained assassin, but damn she literally destroyed me! Although nothing changes what I feel for her…I think I’m falling in love…but it’s her eyes fault! As soon as they look at me and I just melt! And her stupid smirk that makes me weak immediately..yeah I don’t want to talk about that.

May 12 2015

She is there, and she…she…she kissed me! I mean it was unexpected! Clint kept telling me to ask her on a date because she likes me but how could it be possible?! I mean I’m pretty basic…she is so beautiful and perfect…it could never work! How can she love me?! It’s totally impossible! Maybe she didn’t mean to…or maybe I should have stayed and not run away like a fool. I’m so stupid I can’t with myself…

May 15 2015

She is there, so it comes out that she meant it. She even asked me on a date…it’s tonight. I need Wanda’s help! I don’t know what to wear or what to do!…I’m so embarrassing…I’m gonna hide until tonight, or even tonight I don’t know…

May 16 2015

She is there, so I didn’t hide, we went on a date and it was so wonderful! We went to the cinema…apparently she knows about my passion for movies, it was GREAT. Even though I didn’t hear a single word from the film since she was right next to me! I couldn’t help but look at her…don’t look at me like that when you’ll fall in love you’ll get what I’m saying!

Oh god I said fall in love…I am in love with her?! No it can’t be..

May 20 2015

She is there, and yeah guys, I fell in love with her, completely, totally, endlessly…yeah. Oh I forgot! She kissed me again that night! She looked down at me, did always that stupid irresistible smirk, then leaned down and yeah, I thought I died right then and there.

May 25 2015

She is there, guys you can’t believe this! We live in the Compound right?! And…and – she literally made me breakfast! She was the only one in the kitchen and when she told me she already made breakfast for me I just melted…I can’t even describe how she makes me feel…she is the love of my life!

Oh god I’m so dramatic…

May 29 2015

She is there, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. I couldn’t help it anymore, I need her all the time, I need her to by my side, I need to know her comfort, her love. She makes me feel safe, and I think I found my Home.

Oh and…she said yes.

June 30 2015

She is there, and it’s been a month since we started dating. I live in a fairytale, this can’t be real life. It feels like a dream, she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, she is so strong..after everything she went through, she never lost her heart. As she says, pain only makes us stronger.

May 16 2016

She is there, and it’s almost a year since we started dating. I never loved any other human being as much as I love her…she says that she loves me so much…she once said that I’m the love of her life, and well, she’s the love of my life. Our bond is stronger than ever, even though I can’t say the same thing for the whole team. Steve and Tony are fighting all the time…feels like a Civil War.

May 23 2016

She is there, and now we’re in Norway. Avengers don’t exist anymore, at least I wanna think for now…I don’t want to think that I’ll never see them again, I care about them all and well, they are her family. She’s suffering, and yet she is the strongest here, she has always been the strongest among all of us. She takes care of me like I’m some precious treasure, but she only says I’m her love.

June 14 2016

She is there, and I met her family today, even though it was a little weird, but still. Her sister, Yelena is her name, seems a nice person, she is so different from her but at the same time, so similar… She talked to me about her sister, but not so much, maybe she doesn’t want to remember what happened in her past and I understand that, she had to go through so much, but still, she always kept her heart.

May 29 2017

She is there, and it’s been two years since we we started dating! But maybe I shouldn’t say girlfriend anymore…that crazy woman asked me to marry her! She even bought the ring! How could she buy the ring?! When did she do that?! Sometimes, she’s still a mystery to me, but she told me that she won’t reveal her secrets…so I guess I have to deal with it.

She’s gonna be my wife, I still can’t believe it but she’s gonna be my wife!

June 16 2018

She is there, we were about to get married in two months but apparently the world is ending again, so the Avengers are back together. Some alien wants to kill half of the world’s population…unbelievable. She says that everything will be okay, I hope so…I mean I can’t fight with them, I’m just a civilian, but she told me to stay at home and that everything will be fine, and I want to trust her but I don’t know…I feel something is going ti happen, and it’s nothing good.

Wait…what is going on…?

What is happening to me?!

Wha-

October 24 2023

12:34 pm

Guys, what just happened?! Maybe I passed out…wait why the phone says October 2023?! What just happened?! I have to talk to Clint!

1:45 pm

I can’t believe this…she’s…she’s…I don’t even want to say it. She told me everything would be okay, that everything will be alright, that we were get married and have a freaking family together! Why did she have to do that?! Clint said something about a snap and that to bring everyone back they had to have these ‘stones’ back! This is unbelievable! He said that she was suffering too much, that she had to bring me and Yelena back.

Now we are back, but why isn’t she here? With me? She is not here, she’s just..gone. How am I supposed to live without her by my side? Didn’t she think about how we’d live without her?! How much pain she would inflict us?! I can’t believe it and I don’t want to. I don’t want to accept that she’s gone, I need to see her again, I need her to be here and tell me that everything is gonna be fucking okay because I need her! I love her too much to let her go! I will never and I can’t let her go!

Everyone talks about Tony, but why only Clint talks about her? Wasn’t her sacrifice worth enough?

Pepper lost Tony, but I lost my wife. I don’t need a ring to prove it.

She is not there, but she is here, in my heart, but it’s not even mine anymore. It’s always been hers, and always will be.

[jysmloves]

even winter ends | jjk

↳ synopsis: jeon jungkook is winter, but like all seasons, winter eventually comes to an end.

↳ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

↳ word count: 3k

↳ genre: angst, tiniest hint of fluff if you squint?

↳ warnings: none

↳ a/n: i actually originally wrote this fic way back in june of last year because i suddenly got inspired even though christmas was literally six months away. i planned to post it during the holidays, but i was busy visiting my family, and i am not waiting another year to release this around wintertime! i hope you guys enjoy my first ever tumblr fic, and happy (not really) reading!

Jeon Jungkook is the personification of winter.

He is your favorite Christmas song, distinct and melodious, blasted on repeat as you dance around your apartment in your favorite red and black plaid pajama pants and black oversized tee shirt at ten o’clock on a Saturday morning.

He is the string of rainbow holiday lights adorning each and every one of the houses in your neighborhood, bright and captivating and inconceivably beautiful.

He is your favorite holiday movie, cheesy, flawed, and downright ridiculous at some points, but still managing to make a smile stretch across your face every time you watch it.

He is your favorite pair of thick, woolly socks, having come across them by chance and not particularly caring about them before eventually growing to realize how much you need them, especially during frigid and difficult times.

He is your favorite chipped mug, the one you fill to the brim with hot chocolate to sit with in front of the roaring fireplace as snow gently blankets the ground outside, the mere taste of the beverage warming you inside and giving you ecstasy.

He is the present that you’re most excited to open underneath the Christmas tree, because you can plainly see that it is wrapped delicately and with care. It’s certainly not the largest or the prettiest one, but it’s the most appealing to you.

And when you’re finally able to open that present, what’s inside is even better than its wrapping paper. It’s none other than Jeon Jungkook, and he is all you ever wanted, all you ever needed. He is kind and generous and funny, loyal and trusting and sweet. He is good, and oftentimes it makes you wonder if he is just a dream, if his existence is a mere figment of your imagination.

But those thoughts are always dispelled when you’re in his embrace, his arms warm and strong and steady. He’s your refuge from the horrors of the world, from the stress placed upon your shoulders due to school and work, and from the weight of the future that lies ahead.

When you’re in his embrace, the two of you are the only ones in the galaxy, in the universe. It is the two of you alone, without the presence of lingering worries or intrusive thoughts. You are frozen in time, eyes closed, bodies still, hearts beating in the same musical rhythm.

Unfortunately, as much as you wish you could, it is impossible to stay in Jungkook’s embrace forever, just like how it is impossible for the winter season to last year round. It is just that: a season.

Jeon Jungkook is your favorite Christmas song, now attached with an entire film reel of painful memories, eventually removed from all of your playlists once you discovered that you couldn’t listen to it without crying, despite its joyful tune.

He is the string of rainbow holiday lights adorning each and every one of the houses in your neighborhood, including your own, which you couldn’t have managed to put up in the first place without his assistance.

He is your favorite holiday movie, cheesy, flawed, and downright ridiculous at some points, now permanently stashed away in the very back of your large pile of DVDs, out of sight and out of mind.

He is your favorite pair of thick, woolly socks, now two sizes too small and much too itchy and inconvenient to wear, stuffed in the back of your socks drawer and forgotten amongst all of the other pairs.

He is your favorite chipped mug, the one that is no longer chipped but shattered to pieces, no longer in your possession but in a landfill somewhere far away where you’ll never be able to get it back. He is your favorite chipped mug, the one you accidentally dropped onto the floor in shock after hearing the following six words leave his mouth: “I think we should break up.”

He is your favorite shattered mug, the one he immediately rushed to clean up by your feet and make sure that you weren’t harmed, all while you stood there like an imbecile trying to process his words. He is your favorite shattered mug, the one thrown carelessly into the trash can after being with you for two years, impossible to be repaired.

He is the present you are still most excited to open underneath the Christmas tree, because you can obviously tell that it is wrapped delicately and with care. In comparison to the others, it still isn’t the largest or the prettiest, but it remains the most appealing to you.

When you’re finally able to open that present, what’s inside is even better than its wrapping paper, because it’s none other than Jeon Jungkook. He is all you ever wanted, all you ever needed. And you love him. You love him more than he will ever be able to fathom, and that is a fact.

It is also a fact he doesn’t love you back. At least, not anymore.

Jeon Jungkook breaks up with you exactly a week before Christmas. He shoots you a text at ten o’clock on the dot when you are already in the middle of your weekly Saturday dance session, so you don’t see it until a few minutes afterward.

The text message has no underlying tones, just a simple “hey, can i come over?” It isn’t out of the ordinary since the two of you are typically always at each other’s places; Jungkook’s apartment is your second home, just how yours is his. However, it’s been a while since either of you have gone over to each other’s residences, too caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. You swiftly reply with a “you already know the answer” before heading into the kitchen to prepare a mug of hot chocolate for when he arrives, your own mug already in hand.

Three distinct knocking sounds against wood approximately fifteen minutes later prompt you to make your way over to the front door, and without even having to look through the peephole, you already know that it’s Jungkook outside. (He’s the only one who chooses to knock rather than ring the doorbell.) When you open the door, he’s standing before you wearing a plain black short sleeved shirt and grey sweatpants, which his hands are stuffed in the pockets of.

You stand on your tiptoes and press your lips to his cheek like you always do when you see him, greeting him with a “good morning” before leading the way back into the kitchen. Jungkook crosses the threshold of your apartment silently, shutting the door behind him before murmuring a barely audible “good morning” in return and following after you.

Instantly, your gut tells you that something is up with Jungkook. His demeanor is off and his attitude is noticeably much less enthusiastic than the several other times he’d visited your apartment before. However, you try to ignore the nagging feeling, shoving it away to the best of your abilities as you hand Jungkook his hot chocolate, supplied in the mug he always uses when he comes over. You chalk it up to the fact that Jungkook is just not a morning person. He never has been and never will be, and you don’t blame him because you aren’t either. Having Jungkook there with you admittedly makes mornings a lot better, though.

He takes his hot chocolate from you without a word, bringing it up to his lips for a fraction of a second before setting it down on the kitchen island. You aren’t sure who he thinks he’s fooling, because anyone can tell that he didn’t take a sip of the drink.

Rather than push him to speak his mind, you lift your own mug up to your lips, finishing the last of the hot chocolate you’d made for yourself earlier. Jungkook calls your name quietly once you’re done drinking and you turn to look at him, patiently waiting to hear whatever it is that’s been plaguing his thoughts since before he arrived.

“I think we should break up.”

The hand that’s wrapped around your mug involuntarily loosens out of shock and your mug slips from it and falls to the floor, meeting it with a raucous crash that shatters the mug into several small pieces, scattering all around your feet and miraculously none piercing your skin. You don’t comprehend what’s just happened even as Jungkook rushes to the supply closet in the hallway to grab the broom and dustpan and returns to the kitchen in the blink of an eye. He hurriedly sweeps a safe path to you and kneels down, checking to make sure that none of the shards injured you. After a thorough examination, he begins silently sweeping the pieces of the mug around you into a neat pile, and does so without meeting your eyes.

Throughout all of this, you remain silent, though finally having come to your senses and stepping out of the way as he works to clean up the mess you made.

You can’t help but wonder if perhaps that’s why he’s breaking up with you. Is it because you always make messes that he has to deal with the aftermath of? Are you too high-maintenance for him to handle?

Once he finishes sweeping all of the broken pieces into a pile and then moving them into the dustpan, he opens up the trash can and pours everything in, every last piece of your favorite mug. You can't help but feel a tad bit resentful about the action. Obviously, the mug is shattered beyond repair, but he still chooses to throw it away without hesitation, without a second thought, just like that.

Perhaps that’s why he’s breaking up with you. Not necessarily because of your attachment to inanimate objects, but because of the sentimental value you hold to things, the powerful emotions you feel. Although he feels things just as deeply as you do, Jungkook has always had difficulty expressing his emotions. It was one of the obstacles you had to overcome in the early stages of your relationship, and nowadays, he showers you with love and affection.

At least, he used to. Somewhere along the line, apparently something went wrong.

Jungkook leaves to return the broom and dustpan to their places in the supply closet before entering the kitchen again, eyes on you with the intention of providing an explanation. He yearns to clarify what he means, and you can tell he does. Words tumble out of his mouth at the speed of light, stringing together sentences revolving around the typical “It’s not you, it’s me” blather, which really means “It is you, but I still care for you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” You can’t help but notice that the pet name “baby” falls from his lips exactly twice, most likely out of habit.

Everything he says goes in one ear and out the other as you selfishly try to memorize the way he says that one word, how melodious it is to your ears and the shape his mouth makes when he does so. Instead of focusing on whatever it is that he’s telling you, you try to memorize those things, and you hope with all of your heart that you’ll be able to recall it for a long time, because you know you’ll never hear him call you that again in this lifetime.

Jungkook seems to have finally ended his nonsensical and unnecessary speech slash apology, but you don’t dare meet his eyes, unsure of how you’d emotionally and verbally react. This will probably be your last time seeing him, won’t it? Do exes typically keep up with each other’s social media? Aren’t they supposed to cut off all contact with each other, never to cross paths again? That seems to be a common occurrence with all of your friends and their past lovers.

“Please say something,” Jungkook begs quietly, the silence from you eating away at him. “At least look at me.”

Your body reacts before your brain can, and you’re doing as he requested, elevating your gaze from the floor in order to meet his eyes. Looking at him, you don’t feel anger. You’re not sure if you can ever feel that emotion toward him. You don’t feel hurt either, you realize surprisingly. You just feel… sentimental, in a way. You trace the shape of his nose with your eyes, follow the line of his jaw, outline the curve of his lips, count the beauty marks on his face. This is the face of the man you’ve grown to love. This is the face of the man who no longer loves you back.

Perhaps another person standing in your shoes would fight for your relationship and dig those broken mug pieces out of the trash can to glue together in a desperate attempt to fix it. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t see this coming. It’s the reason why you were so afraid of getting attached to Jungkook in the first place. The process of him falling out of love with you was just as effortless and smooth and accidental as the process of him falling in love with you was.

Finally, you open your mouth to speak. “I don’t really know what you want me to say, Jungkook.”

“I don’t want you to say anything specific, I just…” He sighs and his hand stretches out toward you, as if he wants to hold your hand in his and rub his thumb over the back of it soothingly like he’s done so many times before, but he stops himself and shoves his hand back into his pocket. “I just don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” you reply, because it’s true. You could never hate a single bone in his body, could never wish to harm a single hair on his head. You could never, and it all comes down to the fact that you love him. So you decide to tell him that, because you know that you’ll never get the chance to do it again. “I love you too much.”

“I love you too,” he says, but you can tell he only says it out of habit. It is so blatant that the intimate phrase is meaningless to him, and that there are no true feelings behind those words. You can’t help but wonder if it’s been like that throughout the entirety of your relationship, and if you were just too blindsided by your own love to notice.

“Is that, uh, all you came over for?” you ask, unsure if you can handle being in his presence any longer now that the two of you were officially broken up and your now ex-boyfriend is just standing there in your kitchen like it’s nothing.

“Um… yeah,” he says awkwardly. “I didn’t want to do… you know, it, over text or call. I feel like that would’ve been insensitive.”

“Yeah. Thank you for that,” you reply genuinely and he nods. You’re glad he cares enough not to break your heart in one of the aforementioned ways. You don’t know what you would’ve done if he did, but it probably would’ve been something much worse than accidentally dropping your favorite mug.

You keep sending casual glances over in the direction of the front door, hoping for Jungkook to get the hint instead of you having to verbalize your request for him to leave, and thankfully, he does.

“I think I’ll get going now,” he says quietly, and he begins walking over, his hand lightly brushing against yours as he moves past you to get to the exit. You ignore the spark you receive from the split second of physical contact. He stops in front of the door, one hand on the knob, and turns back to where you’re standing.

“Baby,” Jungkook breathes, and suddenly your heart rate is speeding up twice its normal rate. You were wrong earlier. That is the last time you’ll ever hear him call you by that name. “Can I please…”

“Can you please what, Jungkook?” you ask, and you can tell by the way his breath hitches that he, too, is memorizing every last bit of you, from the way you part your hair to the way you say his name.

“Can I please hold you?” he asks, his grip on the doorknob already loosening. “One last time?”

If you thought your heart rate was erratic before, it’s even worse now. You could hardly hear his words over the rapid thumping of your heart against your ribcage. What was he trying to do, playing with your heart by asking to hold you one last time when he was the one who made the decision to give up on you? You don’t know if this is some sick tactic to get you to miss him more when he ultimately leaves, but you do know that you aren’t going to decline his request.

Not for his sake, but for your own. You deserve to be selfish just this once.

You exit the kitchen and run over to Jungkook, throwing your arms around his neck. You take him by surprise and knock him backward a couple of steps, but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your smaller figure with the same degree of tightness that you’re holding him. He buries his face in your neck and you feel him inhale deeply against your skin, taking in your aroma. It’s taking everything in you not to burst into tears in his embrace, the last one he’d ever grace you with.

“Thank you for being the first person I ever loved,” he says, effectively shattering your heart into pieces, just like your favorite chipped mug.

You shut your eyes tightly and savor the moment. You’re in Jungkook’s warm, strong, and steady embrace, and he is your refuge. You’re in Jungkook’s warm, strong, and steady embrace, and the two of you are the only ones in the galaxy, in the universe. You’re in Jungkook’s warm, strong, and steady embrace, and you are frozen in time, eyes closed, bodies still, but hearts no longer beating in the same musical rhythm as they once did.

You force yourself to pull away first, and the moment is gone all too quickly. Jungkook seems to have difficulty letting go of you, but he still does so, albeit unwillingly. He almost looks like he regrets his decision to end your relationship, like he wants to change his mind about it. You decide not to give him a chance to, though, because what’s done has been done, and if Jungkook no longer wants you in his life, then so be it.

You pull open the door and look back at Jungkook, who, despite his tall stature, seems so small standing there beside you. His hands are back in the confines of his pockets and as he stares at you, he’s biting down on his bottom lip so hard you worry it might bleed.

You open your mouth to bid him farewell and the typical “I love you” crawls up your throat out of habit, but you prevent those words from slipping out of your mouth.

Instead you opt for, “I guess this is where we go our separate ways.”

“I guess it is.”

You muster a small, tight-lipped smile, not wanting your last moments together to resemble anything of the negative sort. “Goodbye, Jungkook,” you say, and you almost add, “I’ll miss you,” to the end but decide against it.

Jungkook seems crestfallen, though you don’t know why. He takes a look around your apartment, one last good look, before turning back to you, managing a small, tight-lipped smile of his own. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

And just like that, he leaves. You silently shut the door behind him and make your way back into the kitchen and over to the sink, pouring out his full mug of hot chocolate that’s now gone to waste. You walk into the living room afterwards, collapsing onto the couch, and stare into space for several moments. Then you begin to cry.

Jeon Jungkook is the personification of winter.

But like all seasons, winter eventually comes to an end.

[inbtswethrrust]

MINDHEIST MASTERLIST

Hey guys! I've recently received some asks regarding mindheist deleting their ao3 account, along with all the works. Someone was kind enough to send me pdf files for all of the works published on ao3 by mindheist, and so here is a compilation for all of them with the links for the files!! Enjoy your reading. By the way, if at any point the writer themself would like me to delete this post, I will.

So the post doesn't get too long, i'll put up a divider! Happy readings!

JIKOOK:

The Ocean at the End of the Universe It's hard to find just one person in a sea of stars. (space au)

Wish I Would've Known The worst part isn't hatred. The worst part is not talking anymore, and never understanding why. (based on the song we don't talk anymore)

You're My Genie, Lamborghini (You're My Teeny Weeny Meenie) You know those people saying technology is driving people apart? Yeah, fuck them. (twitter au)

with it's sequel... You Got the Best of Me (Synth Riff) Two social media sweethearts get married. Baby boomers crash and burn in the distance at this flagrant display of millenial culture. (continuation of ^^)

JINMIN:

Galaxy S♡ we all have those memories that don't end, even when everything is over. Some call that critical error. Others call it human existence. (androids/robots au)

Watchers of the Eternal Flame Jimin goes to Rio de Janeiro to live his passion. He leaves Rio da Janeiro having found his dream. (summer olympics au)

NAMGI:

In My Blood Sometimes fate is a flat tire and a crushed bumper. (a/b/o au)

TAEKOOK:

i try to picture me without you (but i can't) "You think relationships last in the village? You want one with me? You think you'll be happy?" Maybe Taehyung did think that they could be happy. (sequel to Watchers of the Eternal Flame, summer olympics au)

And, Home (Will Feel Like Home Again) Between the oily residue of night market tables and the rickety steps of the Hakone mountains, there is a little bus station in the fog. (travel au)

Fool Me Once (Shame On You) Fool me twice, shame on me. (established relationship)

Ghost Story It was an untold story with no ending, until now. (ghost au)

Invisible People The most important things are the hardest of all to see. (ballet au)

Let Us A relationship is a two-way street. (strangers to friends to lovers)

Never Let Me Go Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey. (soulmates au)

Pour Up (Drank) If you can read this, take another shot. (frat au)

Rich Bitch When you make six figures a year, Valentino isn’t that big of a deal. (the au is,,, tae is rich)

Shark In the Water As far as fairy tales go, this one doesn’t have a lot of faeries. Tales, yes. Tails, that is. Just the one. One (1) tail. (mermaid au)

Terrible Things Happen (Sometimes, They Save You) Min Yoongi wakes up from a nightmare on a sunless afternoon to a reality more twisted than his dizziest daydreams. (american horror story au)

The Day The Earth Stood Still Somewhere in New York, Seoul, Florence, Los Angeles, is a tale as old as time. (pre-apocalypse au)

起死回生; To Live Again Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us. (historical au)

SERIES: I'm feeling electric tonight

(fake dating au.)

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go Dramatization. Do not try at home.

I Just Wanted You to Know (That Baby, You’re the Best) If you experience headaches, nausea, or heartbreak, discontinue use and talk to your doctor because relationships might not be right for you.

Think I'll Miss You Forever Happy endings sold separately.

SERIES: Interstellar (historical fantasy au)

Give Me Your Hands (I Will Pick the Stars for You) I miss you like the moon misses the sun, destined to chase you until the end of time.

Perihelion Perihelion: the point in the orbit of a celestial body at which it is closest to the sun.

SERIES: Moonrise (werewolf au, abo au)

Bad Moon Rising Taehyung has always wanted to be a superhero. Jeongguk has always been a supernatural.

I Fear the Fever, It Runs Electric There are some perks to having Jeongguk as a boyfriend. For one, he makes procrastination impossible.

Shaking Inside My Bones For better or for worse, everyone gets better at this. It’s practice. It doesn’t quite make perfect but it gets pretty damn close.

SERIES: The Ones Who Watch Us (horror au)

They Can See Us There are two things that you should hope always follow you. Number one: your shadow. Number two: your reflection.

Why Aren't You Scared of Me? (What Do You Know?) There are much worse things to be scared of.

SERIES: Where You Go, I'll Go To (grim reaper au)

In the Blind The world, as most people see it, is only half the story.

Time would envy us (part two, by nikkumeul) This is the other half of the story. This is forever. OBS: same link as above, starting from page 26)

SERIES: You bring good to my lonely life (honestly) (hollywood movie star au)

Love Will Always Be A Lesson (Let’s Get Out of its Way) Lesson 1: It's not real

Pizza Magazine Love is a strange, strange thing. (OBS: same link, starting from page 156)

YOONKOOK:

We Who Hide From the Sun “It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you’re seventeen and planning for someday. And then, quietly, and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” (childhood friends to lovers au)

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.

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Admin's Note:

Okay, i'm back now. these are all the mindheist fics i've gotten the links for, thank you to all who sent them to me, very much appreciated! the links lead you to a pdf file on google drive, owned by my own account. i'll have those up all the time, but in case something happens and they get removed i advise you to download the ones that you want to keep personally! hope you enjoy the read babies, love you all!! and thank you again!! and thank you to mindheist in the first place for writing all of these amazing fics.

[fangirlovestuff]

Going Public - Chris Evans x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!!! i’m sorry for the lack of updates on here, i’ve just been occupied with life lately and haven’t been able to write properly in a while. but here’s this headcanon idea i just had to write:) i missed writing so much, but i can’t say i’m gonna go back to updating frequently yet, so i hope you enjoy this<3 

Summary: you and chris were keeping your relationship private, and when you finally decide to go public there’s a particular post that catches your eye... (it’s scott’s, and he’s a goofball).

Warnings: none:)) it’s just a really fluffy fic

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when chris asked you out, you were ecstatic

but, you did have one request

no publicity

you were a normal girl, and you wanted a normal life, no paparazzi harassing you or jealous women talking shit about you on the internet

and chris had absolutely no problem with that

in fact, he was happy you asked him to try and keep it quiet, since he's such a private person as well

and surprisingly enough, it worked really well

you rarely went on fancy dates, and if you did chris would call ahead and ask they respect your privacy

sure, you couldn't go to bars, or festivals, or shows, and you did feel like you were missing out sometimes

but not really

you and chris were both more introverted, homebodies, and you were both extremely content with just staying at home, or going to the occasional escape room double date with scott and his boyfriend

(you all got progressively more and more competitive with each one, trying to solve them in less and less time, but it was really fun)

it worked so well and for so long, you and chris had just sunken into that comfort zone so much and you were now getting married, without the world knowing

the option of going public with your relationship didn't even come up when you got engaged

chris was happy with it, because he got to keep you all to himself, but mostly because he knew how much you didn't want to go public and how happy you were being a part of his life without the craziness of hollywood

but now, when you were coming back home from your honeymoon, you couldn't help but wonder if that was the right thing to do

sure, you didn't want your potential kids growing up in the limelight

but you also didn't want them to miss out on stuff because of you

plus, you were ready, have been for a while

it couldn't be something you maintained forever, that just wasn't realistic, and that fact that no one found out in the last 3 years was pretty much a miracle

and when you talked about it with chris, he agreed

so, the next week, you both posted the same picture to your social media, tagging each other

it was a beautiful picture from your wedding, slow dancing and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes

it was cheesy, but you both loved it 

your accounts were still private, and you were keeping it that way, but chris' fans would know

and so will the rest of the world

chris squeezed your hand reassuringly, and you pressed the post button in unison

you had the urge to throw your phone across the room so you wouldn't see it again, but you took a deep breath, shut it down, and put it away on the table

chris pulled you into a tight hug

"i can't believe we finally did it," you chuckled into his chest as his arms pulled you impossibly closer

"i can't believe i'm gonna have to share my beautiful wife with the rest of the world from now on," you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke softly

indeed, as you lifted your head to meet his gaze, a soft smile was drawn across his face

you leaned your chin on his chest and looked up at him

"i love you," you said.

"i love you too," he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips, "now do you wanna watch a movie?"

you both didn't look at your phones until the next day

you received hundreds of messages from colleagues, acquaintances who didn't know you well enough and had just found out

you replied to some, and then logged onto instagram

you felt like a kid watching a scary movie, covering their eyes with their hands but leaving room between their fingers to see it anyways

the first thing you saw was chris' post

he posted it with the caption "my everything" and a blue heart

you couldn't resist the temptation and scrolled through some of the comments, and to your relief most of them were supportive or surprised

"cHRISTOPHER WHAT THE FUCK"

"jahfbsapf😭"

"how the hell did he get a wife,,, what"

"okay but he literally married a disney princess LOOK AT HER"

"she's living the dream omg"

you chuckled at the last two

at that moment, chris came up behind you, nuzzling his face into your neck

"good morning," your smiled, turning your head to peck his lips

"morning," he smiled. "have you seen scott's one yet?"

"oh, did he comment? i didn't-"

"oh no, he made a whole post," he chuckled.

you shook your head and opened your phone again, looking up scott's instagram, and sure enough there was a new post

"since these dorks are done being stealthy, i figured i'd share some of my favorite pics of my favorite sister-in-law and my brother whom she so magnificently tamed😜. i love you guys, congrats💖"

you giggled as you read the caption, and only then your eyes lifted to the first photo

it was of you and chris in a halloween party, wearing, how could you not, a disney couples costume

chris was looking at you with a smile, his cheeks slightly tinted, probably from the beers he had that night, while your head was thrown back in laughter

you remembered that night, mostly because of the ridiculous amount of candy you and chris devoured and it made you feel bad until the next morning (still worth it though), but you didn't remember that this picture existed  

the next one was a selfie you, chris, and dodger had sent them one afternoon, just because it was so darn cute

dodger was licking your cheek, and you and chris were both laughing

the next was another pic you didn't know he had taken, of the both of you when you were all at a picnic

you were leaning back against chris' chest, and he was pointing at something outside of the picture, gentle smiles on your faces

the next was one of the both of you at your wedding, but it wasn't the nice one of you and chris slow dancing

because scott clearly couldn't leave it at that

it was a picture from later that night, as was seen by your hair, which was more tousled, and it was a picture of you raising your hand high and twirling chris around, clearly laughing

the last one was a picture that was taken in lisa's house, where you were both sitting on the couch

one of chris' hands was on the back, holding you, and the other was on his chest, his face thrown back on laughter

it was the look in your eyes though, that made a grin spring onto your face

because you looked exactly how you felt

so completely in love with this puppy of a man

you felt chris smile behind you

"awww, look at your face," he said, "you like meee," he drawled teasingly

"well, i did marry you," you shrugged, feigning indifference.

he kissed your nose, "i like you too."

"gross," you scrunched your nose at him before you both erupted into laughter

and you at that moment, you truly knew you did the right choice

because everything was okay, and you knew as long as you had chris by your side, it's always going to be

he's the person who made you feel safe, loved

and that was never going to change, no matter what

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tell me your thoughts!! till next time lovelies<3

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[vibraniumwing]

only girl in the world.

a sam wilson x fem!reader wherein the reader cleans the apartment due to jealousy.

WARNING: NSFW (18+, minors DNI. ), praise kink, oral stimulation (f receiving), fingering, vaginal penetration (wrap it before you tap it lovelies), light choking, swearing, the setting is set somewhere in between AoU and CACW so like around the time in Ant-Man ?? also slight au ( i think )

A/N: so this is for @anchoeritic's 3k writing challenge! seeing that she’s a fellow sam wilson simp, i chose him for this fic (and we are seriously lacking in sam wilson content i hate this) and because it’s sam’s birthday we’re gonna celebrate >:)))) icb he’s an aries though. uGh

prompt/scenario: character A catching character B singing

word count: 3.7k

---

Dating a superhero meant there was a lot of restrictions; cuddles and movie dates with them are fleeting moments since you never know when they would get a call about a grape-headed alien terrorizing the planet and you couldn’t flaunt them as much as you wanted to because your safety would be greatly affected if their arch nemesis finds out about your existence.

But regardless of it all, you were thankful because Sam never made you feel less of what you really are to him. A lot of your friends who know about your relationship with The Falcon were envious about how mature the both of you are, managing to balance both of your work lives and your personal ones at home; none of them really knowing how immature the both of you are behind closed doors.

Making this another reason why you loved the privacy being hidden from the public eye; you felt like you were in your own coming-of-age, rom-com movie with Sam with all the hidden rendezvous at The Washington Mall at midnight and drive around the empty streets of the city just until the crack of dawn or just stay at home and cook countless of meals, teaching each other recipes from both sides of your families

It was the relationship anyone could have ever dreamed of.

---

“You’re not making this any easier for me, baby girl.” Sam said, sighing inwardly as he stuffed his duffel. He was going over to New York for a few days, probably on another mission with the Avengers (or training with them) and you weren’t having any of it; wanting nothing more than to have him home and with you for a few more days一 possibly forever if that was even possible.

You groaned softly at his response, sitting on the bed with your knees hugged to your chest as you watch him ready his things for yet another mission. “Then don’t go” You simply told him, face holding the same sad expression as your lower lip was jutted out in a small pout as you looked away, not waiting to tear up once again; him leaving for missions was always the hardest.

A chuckle left his lips, setting the suitcase down on the carpeted floor of your shared room before claiming his spot next to you; the dip of the bed from his weight caused you to look at him. “You know I wouldn’t dare to leave if I had the chance to, right?” He asked, his scooting closer to you and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “But I always come back, right? Because you’re my home.”

You relaxed under his touch, stretching your legs unto the bed and wrapped your arms around his muscular frame, hugging him close to you in fear that he might disappear all of a sudden. “I know, but do you really have to go?” You murmur, hiding your face against his neck, the way your breath falls on his skin causes goosebumps to rise on his own.

“I have to, they need me, sweets.” He explains, wrapping his arms around your own frame and squeezes gently, enough to convey that he’ll be fine; that he’ll be safe and unharmed after all of the fighting he has due.

“I’ll be back in no time.” His reassurance made you sigh inwardly, knowing that you can’t convince him otherwise. Sam was always just like that, once something is set on his mind on something, he won’t stop until he gets it done. He rarely second guesses what he wants and he does, you’re the person he talks to.

You didn’t speak anymore, opting to let the warmth from his body consume you and lull you into sleep, his hand tracing small shapes into your back as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Go to sleep, baby. I love you.”

---

The sunlight that peeked in through the sheer fabric of the curtains was enough to wake you up, reaching over to Sam’s side, expecting to feel him there but instead you were greeted with the sound of paper crumpling from the side of your hand. Stirring awake, you sat up and grabbed the note that was folded neatly.

“I’ll be back soon, baby girl. Don’t miss me too much, I love you.” You read outloud, adoring how neat his handwriting was, hugging the paper to your chest before whispering, “I love you too” before placing the note by your bedside table, rolling out of bed to get on with your day when your phone dinged. Looking at the lit up screen, you smiled at the message from Sam.

[ from: birdman lover ]

- It hasn’t even been a day and I already miss you.

- This’ll be a long week.

- Have a great day though.

- I love you.

---

- Steve’s still clueless on how phones work but he’s getting there. He “greets you a hello”.

The rest of the week was your normal routine, aside from the occasional texts and calls you would get from Sam whenever he had the chance to check his phone; telling you how much he missed you and sharing stories of what’s going on inside the compound. It was like he never left, the only difference being he wasn’t physically there to give you the affection.

Saturday morning soon rolled around and you were bouncing off the walls excited that you had to wait just one more day before Sam could come back home; come back to you. You practically bounced off the walls as you did all your errands一 mainly you getting your car cleaned and your weekly Target run一 and your day was all rainbows and sunshines.

Until it wasn’t. You were scrolling through your Instagram when you saw a picture that made your blood boil immensely. It was a photo of an actress (who was extremely good looking) in the arms of The Falcon. You had to take a few moments in to fully register the fact that the woman had managed to snag a photo with him, “He’s even hotter in person.” You read the caption out loud, eyes rolling in irritation, even replying to some comments from her fanbase, making it seem like they were dating.

You rarely get jealous about anything with Sam, being so secure with your relationship with him but seeing someone who has a platform freely post him made you writhe in your seat about how you should be the one flexing him like that, not her or anyone else.

You opted to call your lover to tell him how you feel but there was this side of you that didn’t want to go through a whole discourse with him through the phone so you went with the better option, cleaning the fuck out of your apartment until your agression washes away.

Plugging your phone to the sound system, you started off with Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World before grabbing the broom from the small closet in your apartment's kitchen, starting to sweep the floor. “You’re a bad bitch, Y/N. Now go clean,” You hyped yourself up in the mirror before strutting back to the living room to sweep your emotions away.

Unbeknownst to you however was the fact that Sam was well on his way home. He got to go back home earlier than expected and he didn’t tell you, wanting to give you a surprise. Jogging up the stairs of your apartment complex, he was practically rushing to make it your door so he can finally kiss you.

Finally finding the keys to your shared apartment, he opened the door and slowly creeped in, expecting to see you seated on the couch but what he saw was something else. He was stunned beyond words to see you clad nothing but his shirt and a messy bun while holding a broom, singing your heart out.

“Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world” you sang out loud, holding onto the broom as if it was a mic while you danced, awkwardly body rolling to the beat. “Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love, like I’m the only one who knows your heart” You continued, starting to “sweep” the floor again while grooving to the beat of the song, not noticing Sam who was silently watching you.

“Like I’m the only one who’s in command” Your voice blending into the music as you rocked around the room, singing your heart out to the chorus. “Cause I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a ma一 Sam!”

You dropped the broom, jumping up in the air as you turned around to see your boyfriend leaning by the wall, watching you with an amused expression while holding his arms out to you. “Are you just gonna stand there or come here and give me a hug?” He questioned, raising up an eyebrow at you.

Wasting no time, you paused the song before making your way over to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as you hugged him. “How long have you been here? Why are you here already? Shouldn’t you be coming home tomorrow?” Your bombardment with questions made him chuckle, his arms going under your thighs to support your weight, walking towards the couch and settling the both of you on there.

“I wanted to surprise you, baby. We finished a little bit earlier than expected so the moment we got back to the compound I was well on my way home.” He answered, one of his hands retreating from your backside to sneak up and cup your jaw, thumb tracing it gently. His eyes were locked with yours, filled with adoration and love as he continued, “turns out you have a surprise of your own for me. What’s got you cleaning so aggressively?”

You laughed, the anger you had just moments ago melting away as you lean into his touch, “It’s nothing, Sammy. Just me being a little jealous, is all.” You explained, finding it easy to admit your feelings. Your relationship with him was just like that; centered on honesty, understanding, and love. The reason why you’re so assured with him.

“Jealous? What’s got my baby jealous?” His brows were furrowed at the answer, mind trying to remember his actions prior to this conversation to see if he had done anything wrong but came up with nothing. “Did I do something?” He questioned, sitting up a bit as the conversation got more serious.

“I just saw this picture of this you and this actress posted on her instagram and一” you paused, finding it silly now that you’ve even been this jealous about this in the first place. “一I just got jealous that she could post you on their social media so freely. Kind of made me realize that I’m still not existent in the eyes of others; I should be the one posting you like that. Kind of made me realize that I’m not the only girl in the world that wants you.” you finished, not wanting to look into his eyes anymore at the sudden sadness from being hidden.

Normally, you wouldn’t even bat an eye on it but seeing how broken you were, Sam was shattered that you had to go through that thought. “There’s no need to feel ashamed that you got jealous, Y/N.” He said, the hand that was on your jaw now going under your chin to make you look at him again. “I know I insisted that I hide you from the public eye so you can be safe from harm and I’m sorry that because of it makes you feel like this.”

He sighed softly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against your lips. “But if you’re ready to be introduced to everyone, even to the team, then I’ll be more than glad to show you to the world.” Sam said, his lips just millimeters away from yours, “The only girl I’ll ever love.” He finished, locking his lips with yours.

You swore on the fact that Sam’s lips were made for your own, the pace slow and sensual, enough to relay that he was sticking to his words and that you didn’t need to worry about anything. His plush tiers felt soft against yours, his teeth sinking into your bottom one, nibbling against it softly before swiping his tongue against it.

“Does my angel want me to show her how much she really means to me?” He whispers, pressing one more kiss to your lips before pulling back, locking his gaze with yours, pupils blown with love and adoration clouded with a hint of lust over the thought of seeing you squirm under him.

Given the fact that you were sitting on his lap, you could feel how hard he was under you. “You feel that, darling? You do that to me.” He groans as you shift, the friction causing his dick to twitch inside his tight jeans. “Be a good girl and use your words, baby.”

“Want you, Sam.” You say, mind too aroused and clouded with perverse thoughts due to the lack of touch you had from him this week to make a concise sentence. “Want you to make me feel good, please.” You beg, brows furrowing lightly in need as you watch him study your expression, a small smile forming on his lips as he easily hoists you up, arms gripping your thighs.

“How can I resist such a good girl begging for me to make her feel good?” He questions, gracing your lips with another chaste kiss as he carries you into your shared bedroom, placing you on the bed as he hovers above you. “I’ll make you feel so good tonight, sweets.”

His lips are then on yours again, his lower half grinding on yours a few times to rile you up, making you elicit a few moans that caused him to go overdrive. He grunts, taking in the scandalous sounds you make before sitting back up, taking the shirt off from your body, throwing his head back at the sight of you clad in only your underwear. “You do know how to make me go wild, baby doll.”

You smiled at him, happy that you were able to make him go haywire at just the sight of you not even fully naked. “My clothes never seem to stay on with you around anyways.” You answer, making him chuckle lightly as he started to attack your neck with kisses, nipping at the skin quite harshly making you hiss in pleasurable pain.

“You look better naked” was all he said before taking in one of your breasts, tongue swirling around the hard nub as his hand teased the other, fingers pinching on it lightly making you take a sharp gasp. He did this for a few moments before kissing his way from the valley of your breasts all the way down to the top of your panties.

Sam looked up at you with a devilish grin upon the realization of what lingerie you were wearing, “My angel looks so good.” he praises, taking a moment to admire your already fucked out appearance with lips swollen and hickey littered skin. He was quick to take off your underwear, eyes filled with hunger at the sight of your soaking cunt.

This feeded his ego to no ends, seeing you so needy for him. “I haven’t even touched you yet you’re already so wet for me, baby girl.” he commented, hands caressing your inner thighs teasingly as he took a moment to drink in the sight of you.

The way his rough and slightly calloused hands were in juxtaposition to the smoothness of your skin granted goosebumps to run along your skin, the cold air of the room adding on to your arousal. “Sam, please. Need you.” You begged once more, attempting to close your legs for some needed friction but his sudden grip on it making you think otherwise.

“Almost there, baby. Patience.” He said, bringing two digits to very lightly graze upon your slit before bringing it up to your lips, his thumb tapping your bottom lip, “Open up, sweets. Wanna see you taste yourself first.” He ordered, wanting to see you suck on his fingers.

Wanting nothing more than his touch, you easily obliged and took his fingers in without him prying them open. Your eyes were locked with his as you sucked on it, setting a blaze inside his eyes that you haven’t seen before, that lone making your stomach twist in knots.

As soon as Sam was satisfied at how wet you made his fingers, he finally gave your throbbing pussy the attention it yearned for. Inserting the two digits inside of you with ease as he slowly started to pump it in and out of your heat while his thumb rubbed circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

You were a moaning mess under his touch, back arching at the slightest touch he would do to your clit. You were overwhelmed with the pleasure he was providing you. “F-fuck!” You breathlessly moan, hips bucking up as you wanted more of his touch.

Sam then leaned, tongue lapping up your sweet juices as he sucked on your aching clit, the gentle suckling was sinful to your ears. He moaned at the taste of you, its vibrations against you making you whine at the contact. He curled his fingers inside you, easily finding your sweet spot upon seeing how you writhed under his touch.

With Sam’s tongue abusing your clit to no end and his digits mercilessly pumping in and out of you, the tension was all too much to handle that the knot that was in your stomach finally broke. “Go on, baby. Come for me, why don’t you.” He said, feeling how your walls were clamping up around him. The euphoria that followed made your legs tremble as you reached your high, shamelessly moaning Sam’s name mixed with profanities as he continued to finger you through your orgasm.

“Such a good girl for me” Was his words, rising up from his position. You watched as he licked up every last drop of your cum off his fingers, rolling off the bed to rid himself off from his own clothes, your mouth practically watering at the sight of his rock hard length that sprung out from the tight confinements of his boxers.

You were gonna reach out to feel him when he stopped you, “No, baby. Tonight, it’s all about you, remember?” he said, stroking his length a few times, thumb circling around his tip that was glistening with pre-cum as he got back on the bed, positioning himself on top of you. “You ready?”

“Y-yes, Sam.” and upon hearing your answer, he eased into you. Both moaning at the longing of feeling each other intimately. No matter how many times the two of you would fuck, you still couldn’t get used to his size. He filled you up quite easily, his hips meeting yours as he filled you in deep.

Ever the gentleman, he waited for you to give the signal that you were ready and upon your nod, he started to move slowly, wanting to ease you into the pace.. Sam’s groans were music to your ear, “So fucking tight, angel.” He said, one of his hands reaching up to wrap around your neck, pressing against its sides lightly.

“F-faster, Sam. Please” You said and he complied, like your words were pressed a switch in him, he started to relentlessly slam into you, fucking you into the bed and into oblivion. His other hand was on the headboard, palm spread out to gain some support, the bed shaking violently as he continued.

“Let me hear those moans, angel. Let everyone know who you belong to.” Sam said, the hold around your neck tightening slightly, wanting to see you slowly gasp out for air as you let out those heavenly yet sinful sounds, ��Who do you belong to, baby?”

“Y-You, Sam!” You answer, feeling your body writhe as another orgasm was already brewing at the pit of your stomach. “F-fuck, I-i’m yours!” You continued, eyes practically rolling to the back at the immense amount of pleasure you got from him drilling you into the mattress.

With those words that left your lips, he started to pound to you even rougher, not caring if the neighbouring apartments heard your cries of pleasure or the squeaking of the bed. You were his and it was his very intention to let everyone know that. “That’s right, doll. You belong to me.” he said, his eyes on your fucked out face. “Mine to fuck and mine to love.”

Feeling the knot in your stomach about to burst, your hands were gripping the bed sheets as you cried out in pleasure, “I’m gonna cum!” body unable to handle the amount of pleasure being handed to you as Sam continued to fuck you out, riding out your high until his own climax hit with one final slam, moaning as he filled you up with his own cum.

Pulling out slowly, Sam took the time to admire his own cum mixed with your drip down from your cunt, a feeling of satisfaction spread through his chest at the sight of you. He leaned in to kiss you once again, this time it was soft and just filled with love, hand running along your sides gently, “Such a good girl for me.” he whispered, pressing one last kiss before he stood up and walked over to the bathroom.

You attempted to follow him, but ultimately failed as your legs were shaking too much from your recent orgasm. You could hear Sam chuckle as he re-emerged from the other room, a wet washcloth in his hand as he approached you. “Let me take care of it, alright princess?” He said softly.

He then started to clean you up, making sure to whisper soft praises about how you took him so well and of how you were so good for him. The moment he was done, he mindlessly threw the cloth into the hamper, collapsing on the bed and took you in his arms, eager to cuddle you. Sam pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, “I love you, Y/N. You’re the only girl I’ll ever love.”

You hummed softly, making yourself comfortable in his arms, reaching up to steal a kiss from him, “I love you too, Sammy. I’ll always love you.”

---

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