#we hit a 700 WTF

[noirflms]

I JUST SAW THIS???? WTF HOW TF DID I MAKE IT TO 700 😭😭😭 OMG WTF I AM SO 😭😭 NO WAY BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE 😭😭

( now doing a milestone event ‼️‼️ )

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello ! This is pukey Saeyoung anon.

I’m comin off anon bc honestly that shit is too much work. Pretty sure being sick this long has fried any last sense of inhibition or shame in my brain and I think everyone deserves to know how much I love Saeyoung smh. The extent to which that is my Mans. I will publicly gush if I so please. 😤😤

Plus! I’m pleased to report that I haven’t actually thrown up in about two weeks! So like. Hashtag recovery life I guess. 💀

But that’s what I came here to update you about. :’D

I feel like I kinda left you with a cliffhanger there with the whole bone cancer thing. (If it makes you feel any better, the hospital did too 👁👄👁)

November was very much,,, a terrible horrible no good very bad type of month. I spent nearly two weeks waiting for them to get back to me about my dumb bone marrow autopsy only for them to cancel my appointment last minute. And in the meantime I was just getting sicker and sicker… I ended up in and out of the hospital again a couple times,, but by the third time I was scared to go back bc the second time I went they didn’t even admit me overnight. They basically just charged me $700 to take a four hour nap. And cha boy doesn’t have that kinda money. 😭

But it got to the point that I really physically couldn’t take it anymore… I have never been in so much pain and discomfort in my entire life. Which unfortunately with the life I’ve had,, that’s a high ass bar lmao.

And it was just CONSTANT… I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t look at any screens. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stand. I was literally too weak to even pull a blanket up over myself. I literally was spending every night sobbing/shivering/barfing myself to sleep. It was baaaaaaad.

Luckily my roommate at this point had probably started to get annoyed by hearing me crying from pain all night and was like “dude I’m taking you to the hospital again”

And my third hospital visit !! They FINALLY gave me an answer as to wtf is going on!

Good news is…? Not bone cancer. I don’t have to enter my Deadpool era Quite yet.

Bad news…? Apparently I’ve got fuckin Lupus 🤡

Which is super cute and fun because,, you know. Incurable lifelong chronic illness. I’m literally gonna be dealing with this shit for the rest of my life. :)

But like. It’s a perfectly livable disease. As long as it’s, you know. Actually being taken care of and treated. Which I now have enough info to actually do haha.

(Hit the self-loathing so hard that even my own fuckin immune system was like, oh shit we gotta take this bitch DOWN 💀)

I’m soooo glad to be home and back from the hospital… but it’s been very strange too. I’m still really sick and I can’t really do much on my own and,,, my brain physically doesn’t know how to process being like,, taken care of. Honestly it kinda sets off alarm bells in my brain 😳 but I’ve had to accept pretty damn quickly that,, I don’t really have a choice rn. I’m so used to just being on my own pushing through all my pain and just. Waiting till it goes away on its own. But if I do that in this case… the pain will just get worse and my body will quite literally shut down on me and I will literally die. Sooooo like,,,, 🤡 I guess maybe I can stand to be taken care of for at least a little while.

Doc says with all the damage that’s been done to my organs and stuff this past year, they caught it early enough that the damage is reversible. But I need to undergo a really strict recovery treatment,, and they estimate it’ll be at least 18 months before I’m able to get back to my ~normal healthy baseline~. Which is insane… like am I really gonna be out here living like a sickly hermit for a damn year and a half?? I’m gonna keep feeling better, I know. And I’ll slowly be able to do more again. But I can’t go back to my job. It was causing me waaay too much physical and mental strain. :( so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

They also put me on literally 12 new medications when I left the hospital to help control my symptoms. Each of which I have to take 1-3 times a day. So that’s super exciting. Love a big bowl of pills for breakfast every morning.

It was torture at first because I hate swallowing pills. But it’s been about a week and I’m honestly getting used to it already. And better yet? Even after only a week… they’re noticeably helping my symptoms… and I’m actually starting to be able to do things again… I *almost* feel like, 60% of a normal human person again,,, maybe even 65%! I’m slowly starting to regain my appetite finally… and I can do little things again… like play the new Pokémon game, or watch anime, or draw, or call a friend on the phone. Which… god what a relief 😭 words cannot describe how good it feels to be able to do those things again… frankly,, it was traumatic having to spend the last few months watching my body physically deteriorate in real time… so now that I’m starting to feel like myself again, if only a little. I’m like. Hey?? I actually love myself so much???? I think I’m a pretty cool fun interesting person. Thank GOD I’m making a comeback 😭😭

Saeyoung of course has been a great source of comfort for me throughout all of this… he always is one of my biggest sources of comfort in life… literally even just imagining him being in the same room as me is enough to put me more at ease…

When things were at their worst a big part of how I dealt with shit was vividly daydreaming about making up silly stories with Saeyoung to distract me. This is something I’ve done for years when I’m too upset or stressed to sleep,,, it’s been a reliable source of comfort for me for a hot minute. But it’s never gotten to this extent haha.

We have a whole ass story going,, I’m actually starting to get pretty attached to the story and the characters… which is stupid AF because it’s literally just. Me and Saeyoung Choi as fantasy self-inserts wherein he’s a court jester and I’m a knight and we’re going on a quest to ~find a cure for my mysterious illness~

But a part of me is like 🥺🤔 what if I actually wrote the story tho? Lmaoooo

Amongst other coping mechanisms and distractions,,, I’ve also been falling HARD into my online shopping addiction. But also, idk, can you blame me…? I’m a material gowrl at heart and I haven’t been able to go shopping in person for months 😔😔 I need little treats to get me through the day.

Mostly I’ve been spending an UNGODLY amount of money on plushies. Like… idk if I could count them and I don’t even wanna THINK about the prices fhdhdjd-

Mostly Pokémon and Sanrio characters. But a few other random critters as well.

And tbh?? I don’t regret a single purchase. They’ve literally all helped me feel more comfortable and joyful these past couple months, which I’ve really needed. So, even if my bed is starting to look RIDICULOUS from sheer volume of plushies…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m living my best life

A few days ago I got a giant charmander plushy… and like. Ordinarily I’m not even the biggest fan of charmander (shut UP ABOUT CHARIZARD GAMEFREAK. IM OVER IT. GEN 1 IS POPULAR WE GET IT)

But I swear to god this young man is changing my life. It may be the softest squishiest most huggable plush I’ve ever encountered. I’ve been carrying him almost everywhere,,, starting to feel like the “ahh yes. Me, my partner, and their life sized mareep plushy” meme for real 💀💀

((How do you think Saeyoung would feel about me turning our bed into a literal mountain of plushies? Or having to compete for attention with my charmander? Hehe. ))

THERES ONLY ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO SAY…

If you’re actually taking the time to read all of this,,, holy shit thank you. And thank you for providing lonely bitches like me this outlet c’: to be able to talk… and share comfort… and express our deep love for these characters without fear of judgement. It’s really just such a lovely blog and I can never thank you enough.

But the last topic I wanted to touch on!!!

Ugh,,, I read your answer to the ask about Saeyoung with an MC into pastel goth fashion and…

That made me so happy 😭😭❤️❤️

I love fashion,,, so much. Truly one of my greatest joys in life is getting into a really cool fun outfit and strutting around Knowing that I’m cool as fuck and I look like a sexy badass 😤😤 it’s simply the most powerful feeling.

Love when I’m wearing an outfit I know looks fire and I can’t stop smirking haha.

And I just,,, love being flamboyant and silly and having fun with it. I’m 100% the type of person to walk into a store and go “this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. The colors and patterns are such a mess they’re practically nauseating. I NEED IT.”

I have a collection of tacky button up shirts that could probably blind a man lmao. And JACKETS?? Don’t get me started on jackets. Boots,,, cargo pants,,, earrings,,, big colorful sunglasses. Ugh. <3

Since I’ve been so sick I haven’t been putting much effort into my appearance. My outfits were so joyless for a while… and then, well. I’ve spent the last month and a half wearing exclusively Pajamas and Hospital Gowns 😭

Considering that my main fashion inspirations ordinarily fall somewhere between Elton John, Lil nas x, and Jojo’s bizarre adventure…

Quite the glow down haha

I don’t think I realized fully how much I missed that until I read your ask…

You inspired me to go looking for some fun new clothes online. And now I’m feeling so excited and impatient for them to get here because I can’t remember the last time I got to put together a fun outfit… I actually wanna like,, get up and get dressed for the first time in so long c’: if only to waltz around my apartment a little bit and take a few selfies.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to my FULL level of glamour,, my inflammation is still pretty bad so my face and body are kinda weird and swollen and lumpy right now 🥴 and again,,, standing and walking are still very much a challenge. Idk if I could wear heels right now haha I’m wobbly enough on my feet already.

But I can’t wait to get back into it…

Like you were saying in that ask too… another part of why I love fashion defs has to do with my gender expression… and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when people bring that up with Saeyoung 😭 it always makes me grin and fills me with so much adoration to think about Sae getting to have fun and experience that euphoria with clothing and fashion as well… and especially the thought of us getting to do it together….? c’:

Literally a concept that is SO important and special to me 😭❤️❤️

Idk what kinda wonky matching outfits we’d be putting together but I know that we would look so fuckin cool and hot 😤😤 and best of all we could have so much fun. Which… tbh, there’s nothing more I could ask for in life.

Plus of course,,, there’s always the added fun of self indulgently getting to imagine Saeyoung admiring and complimenting me on my fashion :’D and like,,, thinking I’m cool or whatever 😭

Anyways! Those are all the things I wanted to say.

If you’re still reading this,, //what’s wrong with you bahaha I’m such a rambly mess

But like. Thank you. And deadass if this is too long to read or respond to feel free to leave it in your inbox or just delete it.

Honestly it was just really nice to be able to type out all these thoughts just to sorta. Get it out and decompress, ya know…? c’:

I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day.

While I am happy to hear that you have a better understanding of what's going on in your life, I'm sorry you're going through this transitional time when you discover that you have chronic illness. That has to be the most difficult time for a lot of people. You have to make a lot of adjustments and make changes that you may not be happy with to make sure that you're taken care of. I empathize and understand this because I deal with multiple chronic illnesses. If you ever need a safe space to vent about it, this is always a safe spot. Whether you want it to be posted or not, you can always scream into the inbox.

I hope you don't beat yourself up over the new limitations and changes that are coming into your life. It'll be hard for a little while to get used to everything. But it'll be okay. I can't promise that it'll be easy in the long run. This journey is a lot different for everybody. I think what helps when you feel lonely and isolated in that regard, is to find comfort in the things that make you happy and if that is this video game, then I'm glad that you have it. It's been there for me through all of my experiences so I'm also grateful for it.

I know what it feels like to be lonely and afraid. Having my blog like this... it’s a place where I’m able to help everyone’s dream. It’s simple, it’s small, but I know even the smallest response of “Yes, your favorite character would do this for you today!” means the world to someone on their worst day. I hope that you’re able to find some spoons to dress up and feel good very soon. It’s hard to find a good day sometimes, but you’ll have soon, I’ll cross my fingers for you.

Imagine that, I mean, imagine Saeyoung gushing over you because you found the energy to get up and show off your new outfit. There’s dazzling sparkles in his eyes as he looks at you. His hands are pressed to his mouth, and he looks like he’s going to keel over in delight. He’s absolutely enamored and in love with the sight of you. “You’re so handsome! I can’t take it! I’m in the presence of the best lover! I think I’m the luckiest boyfriend in the world!” Cue him pretending to faint before you ask him if he’s getting dressed, too.

That’s when he springs back up: “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got the perfect dress that’ll match this. I’ll even let you pick my hair style for the day!”

[poisonedprose]

700 followers??!!? wtf thank you all so much <33 literally 4 days ago we hit 600 this is is insane ily guys <33

[thesapphiclibrary]

WOW!!! You cannot believe how much trouble we have had creating a lesbian dating website like WOW!!!

we took on some help from a friends recommendation. Fringing guy strung us along with endless BS for several months PLUS took $700 for NOTHING, THEN he sends such homophobic hate messages to us!!! and he is gay!! Your think he would loved to have helped his gay sisters out... Not a fringing chance!!

then we searched endlessly for a graphic designer. OMG as soon as we said lesbian they disappeared!! Men and women!!!!!

Set back after set back WTF!!!

Yes we hit a very low point where we do nearly gave up.. we persevered and fought on

And now we have our lesbian dating website:

Not only have we got our lesbian dating website we now have an Apple app and Google Android apps being developed for us!! 

Yes we did get knocked back for being lesbians BUT we got through it and got through the hatred

[error404vnotfound]

reading the whole seliriaverse: conclusions

first of all thank you all for coming with me on this journey. i hope you enjoyed my crying and my ranting (oh my god so much ranting)

overall i think i did have fun (good fun and mad fun). it was nice finally getting to read everything, and revisiting books i read when i was a very lost teen

now, onto the long awaited conclusions and a biased review of seliria's legacy (even tho my opinion is of course the correct one)

(im so sorry this is. so long)

first of all. null wtf is seliria. well, it's the nickname two very popular spanish authors, iria g parente and selene m pascual, have

i discovered them back in the good old days, when the only thing they had published was mainly fantasy and their books had at least some substance (i did say this was gonna be a rant)

unsurprisingly for those that have followed this, the first book i read of theirs was sueños de piedra. i instantly loved it. little 13 or so me was SHOCKED at lynne's story and it being something that could be done on books. and of course arthmael was an instant hit for me the clown i love him. i must have reread it four or so times that first year, and it never failed to leave me, at the end, warm and cozy

and then i found out there were more

i remember how excited i was when jaulas de seda was announced and how i read ladrones de libertad twice in the span of two months because i had enjoyed it so much

marabilia truly helped shape me as a person and i do believe it was what teen me needed. now, the message feels VERY heavy handed and the ramblings get old real fast, but it was there for me when i needed it and im glad for that

around this time i also read rojo y oro (mid) and antiheroes (fun but also mid) and, of course, alianzas. which, fun fact, i never actually finished that first time because i was enjoying it so much and i loved the characters so much and they were suffering and i was very scared and a coward

i did get around to read alianzas and the other two eventually. in like, four days (there's a +700 pages book in there btw, i basically breathed this trilogy for four days straight) it might have not touched me as much as sueños did, but it's still up there with my favorite books of all time

by this point, when someone asked who my favorite authors were, i'd answer them, because these stories were (and are) so dear to me

and so we come to the post reinos de cristal era

reinos was... a book. i read it after marathoning the whole of marabilia in preparation for it and my emotions were all over the place. now, with distance, i can say that it's truly a mess of a book (my rants are out there on my blog)

its messiness was a red herring for what was to come

as of 2019 they had: two completed fantasy sagas (good), a greek mythology inspired tragedy (mid), a contemporary superhero standalone (also mid), and the beginning of a steampunk duology (add mental air quotes to steampunk for me in your head, please) (because here is where we can start seeing The Issues)

The Issue being: shitting out two books per year, and fame

they managed well previously, but again, marabilia were mostly a The Vibes books. no one's really there for the plot (and whatever plot there is is, well, the mess of reinos) it's basically a bunch of essays in disguise (nothing wrong with that), and then alianza's and co plots are pretty fantasy hit all the beats of the expected plot (very well executed and fun, mind you) and also more essays in disguise (not as much as marabilia tho)

which brings me to the """"""steampunk"""""""" book.

el orgullo del dragón is a very well crafted book structure and plot wise. we still have the heavy handed essays in there, and the worldbuilding leaves a lot to be desired, but again: vibes. the vibes were there and good

when i first read it i wasn't expecting actual heavy serious plot elements (and there really aren't, it's just basically a glorified set up for la venganza which. we'll talk about later)

but then i tried to reread it to get to the second one when it came out and i just couldn't because it was. so boring. so i let it be

and they kept publishing books. and i kept buying them but not reading them, until august 2023 when i decided i was gonna read them all

in those three years, they had published: a """"sci-fi"""" trilogy/greek myths retelling, finished the steampunk duology, a book about mental health for kids (which i did read when it came out and it was good), a anne of green gables and a wizard of oz modern retellings (well, """""retellings""""""), a romcom, and they republished the first novel they wrote together (pétalos de papel, a romancy? romantacy? as they are called now)

they very clearly shifted from fantasy settings (that were mild to begin with), to even milder sci-fi realted worlds (the steampunk and scifi) (add the quotes in your brain i've gotten tired of writing them), to pure modern settings (with anne, huracan, and soulcial)

after august 2023 and till now they have also published a futuristic romance drama (imperio) and the first book of a fantasy series (that i will call timekeeper)

and now, i've read them. and judged them

first, the steampunk: was pretty solid until the last like 4 chapters of la venganza. the romance(s) were stomachable and the plot was there. and then a time skip happens and the worst scene i've ever read happens too and it toppled over what could have been an slightly above average story (with very little steampunk when it comes to it tbh). it was the reinos effect all over again. the tone shift was too jarring and it just. it didn't make sense. it was a bad resolution and a terrible ending for the painfully slow plot and pages upon pages i had had to swallow to get there. but at least the first book was okay

then, the sci-fi (""""sci-fi"""""): they bit more than they could chew with this one. the first book was a mess. no character work was put in at all (we'll see more of this going forward), there were too many time skips that went over the important parts (read: the characters becoming a team and friends). it focused too much on the romance (of course ._.), and it was painfully boring and way too long. and again, the plot wasn't handled very well. similar issues happened with the third one. again, a too big plot for what i feel they could manage because of The Issue, characters that get along just because with no work put behind beyond interacting with the romantic interest, etc.

the second book, on the other hand. man that was a good read. it gave me hope where so many fails before had robbed me of it. why was it good when its siblings failed? well, because it didn't have an actual plot. i mean, there was a plot, but it was all about two people destroying each other, being silly and horny. it read like a fanfic in a good way, is what im trying to communicate here.

and imperio! it was actually not a bad book. i can't say i was very disappointed because i didn't care that much, but it could have been so much better, man. if they had put some work into it and not just put out a by the book plot. i wanted commitment to the bit but alas, love won and we lost

timekeeper is a weird case. they have had this wip since 2007, and yet the worldbuilding could have used so much more work. there's... so much of it in this but it's terribly executed and as i said on the tier list there's no connective tissue bringing it all together. the characters are the same 2 archetypes they keep writing time and time again. it brings nothing new to the table and what it does execute it does so blandly

then the romantacy. i didn't hate it!!! it was just meh and mid and bland. there was no tension and it was a bit dumb (plot things happened just because, the antagonist was very early disney evil queen coded in a bad way, the relationship was also bland) also they messed up fake dating. my guy how do you mess up fake dating. the point is to have pinning and angst not for them to get together almost immediately. also i was promised the sad and it didn't deliver (because, again, the work for it to be sad hadn't been put in)

and finally, the dreaded contemporaries

from downright unreadable to blandness in its purest form. they read like bad fanfiction and not in a good way. the execution of the romcom plot beats left much to be desired, and im not saying this as a hater of romance (which i am), but as a chronic reader of fanfiction that has read every romcom variation plot (you can make the basic romcom beats compelling if the characters are compelling themselves and if they have chemistry but alas it was not to be found). it was bad. they were bad. and then of course it was all about the romance with 0 character work behind it

and again, i believe the books had potential. at least the ideas were interesting enough. it's not that i disliked these books because it wasn't my cup of tea (which, also) but i can appreciate when a book is well written and interesting and engaging and has been worked on even if it's not my thing, and these weren't it

they were poorly written books

and it's all because of The Issue.

they've gotten too comfortable with shitting out two books per year without really working on them as much as they should. because they can. because they are popular and people will buy whatever they write even if it's bad. (and then of course there's people who liked these books and i truly, truly question it)

and hey, good for them. go get that sweet money.

but it does make me a bit sad, because at one point they were my favorite authors, and their books were what i awaited the most to come out. they were well crafted and the characters had work behind them beyond one character trait and how horny they are for their love interest. the plots had also been chewed through enough and not something that can barely be called a first draft i swear

for this same reason, and seeing as timekeeper #1 wasn't good i don't think i'll keep reading their works, which saddens me, because they were great once and most of their earlier works held up through the reread.

and that's okay. people change as a reader and as writers, and sueños de piedra and alianzas will always have a special place in my heart in spite of everything else they have put out lmao

now, what did we learn?

null my guy stop reading romcoms you wont like them. you tried and you failed (unsurprisingly) just stick to fanfiction

character work is really important to me so i can enjoy a book (why are we shocked)

sometimes a book is so bad it's fun and sometimes it's so bad you consider not reading ever again

publishing houses hit me up i will fix your barely thought about romance plots

my ending for la furía y el laberinto was better than the actual thing

which are mostly things i already knew. so. uh... i did do all of this for nothing i guess. i mean at least i can now say that i've read all their books

anyways. catch me rereading sueños de piedra next year this September for its ten year anniversary (oh damn)

[outisthedude]

Ethir Neechal - a summary

Hi kids

It's really all my grandparents talk about at this rate, and as a erratic, occasional episode watcher, I take it upon myself to dot-point in a post before hitting the specifics (meaning I sporadically watch the occasional episode and string together the whatevers because there's more than 700 episodes and I have only one braincell).

INTRODUCTION

We start with Janani, a successfully graduated from university human lady (I'm on my last straw with my second year, struggling so very hard to not pull the plug on my life because I'm an idiot box), who was vibing as one does until her father is all "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife" and marries her off into the first family he finds, which he thinks, will be nice to his kid and let her climb corporate ranks and ultimately get a cushy CEO job.

Turns out the family is full of misogynistic dicks. Oops. Her ambitions of becoming a CEO of god knows what crumble but this lady starts asking questions and starts a revolt, a feminist movement if you will, to help the women of the family give their "fuck you" to the patriarchy.

THE CHARACTERS

Janani: lady who was raised right by her dad to have some self-respect and honestly needs a fucking nap.

Le brothers:

I only start with them because fleshing out who the sisters are and why they are the way they are is easier with context (spoiler, these guys are dipshits)

Brother no 1 - Gunasekaran: Janani's brother in law and the head of the misogynist family. He's the dude we hate, psychologically fucks up the other three brothers by making sure, like him, they don't get an education and thus can't think for themselves, believes women should be stuck in the kitchen, raising kids then burying themselves alive. He makes sure that these women have educations from universities before degrading them completely. He's a real one.

Brother no 2 - Gnanasekaran: Bro has no fucking clue about what life is but I think he may have half a braincell floating in there so there's that.

Brother no 3 - Kathir: Bro has no braincell. Bro lacks anything in there. Bro and critical thinking are Venn diagrams with their circles not within existence of each other.

Brother no 4 - Shakthi: Bro desperately needs a therapist but because this is a desi serial depicting a backwards family, I bet you my goofy Batman magnet he will never see one. He's married to Janani and is essentially malewife. We don't mind him eventually.

Le co-sisters

Eshwari: married to Gunasekaran and I fucking love this lady because she reminds me of my grandma and my grandma is the bestest. She's a vibe, needs a therapist and lots of hugs for having a husband that fucked up.

Renuka: married to Gnanasekaran. She's observant, and sort of the in between, I love her and she needs a therapist and somehow strikes me as a possible cat lady if she'd never married this jackass. I mean this as the biggest compliment possible.

Nandhini: my grandpa's first favourite and my second. She's a sass master, spirit crushed by the dicks of this family and she deserves all the hugs. She's comic relief and smart about how she talks (brash as well, which is where Renuka levels her out).

The Other Characters

Pattamal: absolute BAMF. She's Gunasekaran's grandma and she's kicked ass and taken names. Highly educated, crapped by this family and found her feet once Janani enters and starts the "wtf are you guys smoking, this is not the 1800's".

Aathirai: Sister to the brothers, a piece of shit in the beginning by bullying her sister-in-laws and pulling absolutely no weight around her brothers. Then when her brother marries her off to some insane, far more abusive family she sees the light and starts to help the sister-in-laws. More on that later.

Visalatchi: the mother of the three brothers, toxic patriarchal mindset, is a garbage person to women in the household despite being one. She sees almost no wrong in her sons.

Wooo that was a rant. More to come. There's plenty to unpack with the garbled stuff I've got over the episodes I've seen and my grandma's narrations for the ones I've missed.

Gonna hit the coma, the best eight hours out of the rest of my idiot twenty four hours.

Outis

[homesliceadulting]

OMG! This was supposed to be posted on 8/12, but I didn't hit post! Guess who's 30 lbs down in 6 months??? Me! What what! Look at this milestone! Just in case you're just now reading this, on Feb 5th I started a journey to get active, eat better, and lose weight. On Feb 5th, I weighed in at 338.6 lbs. I weighed in today at 308.4 lbs and that makes my total weight loss 30.2 lbs! I'm so happy about this and I'm super proud of myself. At this rate, I'll be down 60 lbs total by next February!

Aside from the celebration, this week has been interesting. On Sunday, I took my dog for an hour long walk around our neighborhood. It was great to explore my neighborhood, get some fresh air, and spend time with Beaux. When we were done with our walk, I had only burned like 475 calories and my heart rate barely reached the fat burn zone. If I do a Just Dance workout for the same amount of time, I usually burn 700 calories and most of the time, my heart rate is elevated to the fat burn category, with some cardio sprinkled in. I will say adding in the walk as a third weekly workout is great and low impact, even if the results pale in comparison to doing a Just Dance session in my house. I will be walking the dog again tomorrow and this time we'll take different streets.

I actually skipped 2 workouts this week--been having a hard time managing my time--but I think I may have made up for it. Last night, I went to karaoke with some friends and while I was there, I burned like 1300 calories. Wtf? I performed twice (sang Kids by Prince & Dream On by Aerosmith) and of course I was dancing and jamming along with the other performers as well. I drank tons of water, I sweated quite a bit, and I didn't even really walk around that much. I am astounded that I burned so many calories in a non-conventional. I earned 115 zone minutes (this is Fitbit terminology)--87 minutes were listed as Fat Burn (heart rate between 122-143) and the remaining 28 minutes were considered Cardio (a heart rate of 144-170). That's literally like 2 of my Just Dance workouts put together. I'm amazed and so happy. I'm going to work out today (Just Dance) to keep the momentum going.

As far as food, this past week was the 2nd week of me meal prepping and I realized I need to be more efficient with it. I made a meal on Sunday, then spent a few hours on Monday prepping the 2nd meal. This Monday prepping is why I couldn't work out. It's becoming apparent that I need to carve out times on the weekend to plan and prepare my meals. The 2 recipes from this week were really good. One of them was a Cajun sausage and vegetables recipe I found online. The other was a chicken/broccoli/potato recipe I found online as well. They were both very good and relatively easy to make, even though the sausage one was tedious. I don't like cooking, so batching my meals sounds as perfect as its going to get.

I've also been worried about my consumption of Baskin Robbins. I've been there way too many times in the past month trying to get the Beach Day flavor. It is SO good. In an effort to curb my cravings and not flare up my lactose intolerance, I've been buying and trying new dairy-free ice creams from the grocery store. So when I want a frozen treat, I eat a third of a pint and call it quits. I'll share my thoughts later. This approach is helping me, though. I find I have more discipline and I'm less tempted to grab fast sweets.

Overall, things are going great. I have 6 more weeks to lose 8.4 lbs--this is the goal I set in my Self Journal. With the addition of a 3rd weekly workout and paying special attention to my diet, I feel confident I can meet or exceed this goal.

[whumpster-fire]

#excuse me i#i#wtf#i feel like the boiler ought to be kept down by more than water weight but what would i know#real true railway stuff#ttte plot inspiration#i guess#if ya wanna get real dark real fast#queue some hard work for a change

I don't know German but I think those photos are from the 1977 Bitterfield Boiler Explosion which is, uhh... a dumpster fire.

Summary of events:

In 1977 in East Germany, a regularly scheduled express train from Leipzig to Berlin is being pulled by a Pacific type steam engine (because it's East Germany), DR 03 0121.

About halfway there, they run the locomotive out of water. Like, not just "oops we have to drop the fire and get towed to a water tower," as in they blew the fusible plugs out, which saved them from dying.

The railway has to send a diesel to tow the stranded train to Berlin. Meanwhile in Berlin, they have to get a backup engine ready to take the train for the return journey: this is another Pacific: DR 01 1516.

The train is now very late, and the people getting the backup engine ready didn't have time to fully fill the tender with coal and water before the train got there. The crew actually taking the train back, which it sounds like is the same crew who just ran their engine out of water, decide to save time by telling the workers to only top off the coal supply and skip filling the water tanks all the way. And then lied to dispatch about filling them.

They attempt to take the train back to Leipzig, and run their locomotive out of water for the second time that day. Apparently they asked for a water stop in Wittenburg (about halfway) and got denied, presumably because they lied to dispatch and said they had full water tanks when they left Berlin.

As they're coming to in to Bitterfield, they have run out of water. A combination of descending a grade and braking makes the water in the boiler slosh forward a bit, which exposes the firebox crownsheet due to the dangerously low water level.

The fusible plugs on this engine do not go off because they are so covered in limescale that they don't melt from the excessive temperatures. This is despite the engine having supposedly just come from a maintenance facility, so somebody fucked up.

The train pulls into a crowded station, with 200+ people waiting on the platform because it's supposed to stop there. As the driver lets off the brakes the water, which was at the front of the boiler, sloshes to the back again, and flashes to steam when it hits the firebox crownsheet (which has heated up to over 700 degrees centigrade), and Kaboom.

The boiler does the water heater rocket thing, tearing itself from the locomotive and cartwheeling down the track. Luckily it lands on the track and not the crowded platform, but seven people on the platform are killed and 45 injured by shrapnel and escaping steam. The locomotive's crew also do not survive for obvious reasons.

I cannot get over the fact that the crew of this train ran the boiler dry, had their dumb asses saved by the fusible plugs, and then proceeded to do the exact same fucking thing again, on the very same day, running the same goddamn train, and in an even stupider way. Pressure to be on time aside, the fact that they were only late in the first place because they ran out of water, and then decided the place to cut corners was... not making sure they had enough water for the return trip. Truly staggering.

yeah uh

don’t brake your steam locomotive too quickly if you don’t have enough water

[goodthoughts001]

Tag Team Casino Malaysia

Ok...so it's not really tag team wrestling action but it is new, fun and creating more rivalrys than college football. Its team play at Casino Malaysia and the idea is to create a team of buddies and compete against other teams in poker tournaments for cash and prizes but most of all its about the thrill of kicking somebody's ass at the poker tables.

This is without a doubt the best spin on online poker in a long time. I'm tryin to put together a kick ass team and start playing in the league. If you are interested in joining "Team Poker Freak" just sign up Here drop me a line at webmaster(at)worldseriespoker.ws. I want to get 10 damn good players before we create the team, so when the team is created ,its full already and we don't have to worry bout waiting for a full team. SO c'mon people...drop me a line and tell me why you are good enough to play for Team Poker Freak Here are some of the details:

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The team is arranged around a communal Team Wallet whereto the manager and the players can transfer funds. Once funded, the Team Manager can use these Team Wallet to enter the team into league and eliminator events

Once the team is setup and the Team Wallet funded, it’s time for the team to hit the action!

By locating exciting events players can suggest certain events to the rest of the team. If enough team members sign-up for this event, the Team Manager can complete the buy-in and sign the team up for the event. Only team members who have actively registered for an event are affected by it. Only they will pay a share of the buy-in and only they will share any eventual prize money

Damn....What a year 2023 was, with online poker still booming and poker tournaments practically tripling overnight it's no wonder so many people are shooting for the cash. The WSOP went from 700+ entries in 2023 to 5600 in 2023. The 2023 Satellite Tournaments have already started as the main event is only a few months away. Who in the hell knows how many prople will be in this years tourney but if everything holds true to previous years I would say probably somewhere in the 7500-9000 range. What this means is even more money than '05 which at 7.5 million was already a record but at the same time it also means more competition

Anyway, I posted the satellite schedule Here on my wsop blog. You can enter some of these tourneys for as little as $2 bucks or you can always buy-in direct for as little as $50. This is damn cheap considering you could walk away not just a millionaire but a MULTI-Millionaire. The past 3 years has proven you don't have to be a pro to win as an "unknown" has won 3 years in a row, of course if you do win its a fact that you will no longer be unknown but instead you will probably find that you had friends and cousins that you didnt even know you had!

WTF.....Free poker games are everywhere you look these days. You dont have to go very far to find free downloads, free deposit bonuses and just plain free money. With the poker rooms fighting tooth and nail for every new poker player we all win! Almost every room has either WSOP Satellites leading to the world series of poker or WPT Satellites going directly to the world poker tour. The good thing is you can virtually "play" your way to the big shows for free if you are willing to play in the freerolls that take place daily. Check it out for yourself and see what I mean!

[bleubourbon]

I almost started throwing shit today and telling everyone what I really think

We talked about a calm and peaceful Christmas. But a month ago my Aunt ended up in the hospital. Several states away. She's been sick for no less than 2 years and has refused to go to the Dr. She had been taking massive amounts of Imodium. It was no longer working. She couldn't stand up without it not working. She and my Uncle left for their winter local anyway. Their WI ter local where no one is. No family or friends to help if they are in trouble. We'll it all hit the fan and surprise, she has cancer and is not able to travel home. I will spare the details but my Aunt and Uncle are in the running for a Darwin award.

All this is hitting my Mom hard because she has NO control. She HAS to have control. She calls it she can't ' help' but really she can't be there yelling at everyone and making a scene because her health won't allow it. But she talks to her brother nightly, and he apparently can't be bothered to get a notebook to write down the Dr names or what meds they want to prescribe his wife. Nope not heartless I am pissed at the stupidity. He literally said oh its another thing for me to carry.

Dude, if you want my sympathy because you love your wife so much, and now someone told you she is dying because apparently you were too stupid to notice before now, try not to tell me that carrying a fucking notebook to take notes about her care is too much for you!

He actually expects his sister, my mother, to take and maintain the information for him. My mother is not a well woman.

I know she wants to support him but fuck HE WANTS HER TO JUST DEAL WITH IT FOR HIM. HE COULDNT HELP HIS OWN MOTHER AND LEFT IT ALL ON MY MOTHER WTF

This brings us to Christmas. About 3 weeks ago my Mom decided our quiet 3 person Christmas was now a party.

She wants to have her niece over to give her something happy while her mother I so ill.

Saint, right?

Queue 3 weeks of how hard life is trying to get ready for party

3 weeks if what I have to do for party

3 weeks of my husband bitching that my cousin will bring her boy friend he hates to Christmas. Which includes 3 weeks of I'm not going

All while I must work to pay all our bills which include about $700 of beer a month and another couple hundred of cash back from grocery shopping to be used on scratch off lotteries

Did I mention I work in the 7th circle of Hell?

So we had the party. I got yelled at randomly for the sin of asking a question while my Mom was walking. Not a "wait I need to finish waht I was doing" A basic how can you be so fucking stupid as to ask me where something is in my house while I am walking through the kitchen. I got yelled at because I could not produce shredded cheddar cheese from one of the fridge bins. It wasnt there. I started to look in the other and got screamed at because I was looking in the wrong bin why wasnt I listening? She just sat down!!! Cheese was in the bin I was looking in. I got attitude for that. I did not move the cheese BTW.

There was some other drama that resulted in me being told that this is why one should always start early in case things go wrong (apparently I started something late). Don't remember what as I think I've begun to dissociate

People loved the party. I didn't put stuff away quick enough which I was passive aggressively told in front of some of the guests.

Also - this is the coldest Christmas in 30 years means. All the presents had to be distributed prior to Xmas because we may get snow ( we didnt) but basically, xmas morning was nothing. Just I got up late, and I didn't tell Mom that there is meat in Lasagne. So she had no meat. We talked. She got confused or forgot or whatever. She isn't having dangerous forgetfulness, just run of the mill she doesn't pay attention which is one of her lovable traits. Thank goodness the grocery store was open because the husband started bitching that I can't make lasagne with no meat. Vegetarians beg to differ Dear, but sure I will get dressed and run to the store in Xmas day.

Then I clearly didn't start dinner early enough. And my husband proceeds to tell I was using the wrong amount of sauce. Also my list of sins included:

Wanting to cook 2 boxes of pasta instead of one. Not getting a pot with a lid out for meatballs (we had meatballs, but I couldn't leave the meat out of the lasagne). He kept up a running commentary in the gas stove top as well.

I also had to help Mom operate Netflix because in 3 years, she still doesn't get it dispite multiple lessons and load pictures to Facebook, also 3 years and multiple lessons while making lasagne.

Cool cool - but I almost lost it

Everyone liked dinner. I did dishes.

And now the cable company is raising prices and I must read letter to figure it out. I 'made' her change cable plans. No no, my Dad died and I said she needed faster internet so if she needed me I could also work remotely at her house. I said I would pay. She won't take money. Cable compa y said - oh if you make changes you have to change everything (i.e. GOTCHA !! Pay us more that plan doesn't exist anymore and you can't just change your internet)

But yeah so now she has a plan price and the price increases are a la carte and not all components of her plan are in the a la carte list. So it's sorta impossible to see what the increase will be. It was determined that I HAD to read this tonight

Fuck I'm tired. And I don't know the answers but I really think a good scream is in order. Except that will wake everyone up and I don't have the energy to explain.

Merry Christmas

[keokomi]

so

i might move blogs soon

[fcthots]

I missed when we hit 700???? Wtf

100 followers in 3 days, this is crazy 😭😭

[rafescoke]

Brother’s Best Friend ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Request: heyy I’ve recently found your account and I just felt in love with the way you write and with your works so I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader is Kelce’s sister, she’s sitting alone at home and suddenly she hears a doorbell ringing, she comes to open the door and that’s Rafe and she says something like “Kelce’s not home” or smth like that and Rafe answers “I actually came to see you” or smth like that. It can be smut or fluff or whatever I don’t really care. Sorry if this is chaotic but I just want the reader to be black and I have bad ideas lmao 😭 sending love ❤️❤️

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Fooling around with your best friend's sister is not a good sign, especially when it involves something more than skinny dipping and drinking alcohol together.

Warnings: Slight smut, mentions of drinking, slight angst, teasing Rafe Cameron

A/N: I'm so close to 700 followers wtf y'all are truly amazing ily! I'm finishing all requests in my inbox for the new few days; thank you to those who put their trust in me to write their ideas <33

(Y/N) could never deny the attraction she felt towards a certain brunette boy with that charming smile.

The feeling evolved for the first time when he came over to her house to see Kelce. He was so polite to her; giving her a turn on passing the ball and scolding Kelce and Topper for not wanting to give her a chance at playing basketball in the swimming pool.

But she was only 8 back then, and she regarded the feeling as nothing more than a silly crush.

Rafe Cameron changed when he entered high school. (Y/N) couldn't explain what was wrong, but he was not her Rafe anymore. He didn't hold the door for her, scold Kelce for making fun of her or do anything that used to make her heart soar.

Her thoughts were disrupted when a fresh blue towel hit her squarely on the face, causing her to yelp in shock.

"Do you wanna come down to the lake with us?"

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, pulling the towel to her side, and closed her magazine with a snap. Her eyes fell back to the three guys, lingering on the tallest one a little bit too long.

She cleared her throat, "No, I'm tired."

Kelce shrugged, walking towards the entrance of their home from the swimming pool. He didn't feel like having (Y/N) around anyways, because that would mean he would have to protect her from his friends.

Kelce loved his friends, of course, but he also knew the other side of them that uses girls like Kleenex tissue only to throw them away again.

"On a second thought-" (Y/N) said, stopping the three boys from entering the big house. "I think I'll go."

"You sure?" Kelce asked. God. Now he would have to play the big-brother stimulator for the whole night.

The night sky was dark, and the only light came from the moonlight up above and sometimes from the flashlight of each other's phone. Boozes laid messily on the wooden deck and their clothes were discarded all over the place.

Not one person was sober, and they were all laughing to a joke by Topper.

"Okay, okay, last one-" Topper said excitedly. He shivered, and (Y/N) thought about it as a response towards the cold lake water or the excited nerves of sharing another stupid joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Easy. To get to the other side," Rafe answered proudly. A beer drop slid down from his lips to his chin, and (Y/N) felt a strong desire to lick it.

"Wrong."

"Okay, fine, I don't know."

Topper smiled widely, and (Y/N) could see this joke coming from a few miles away. "To get to the loser's house. Knock knock."

Rafe pulled a face, his eyebrows raised. "Who's there?"

"The chicken."

Kelce and Topper's laugh filled the silence around them, and (Y/N) found herself slightly smiling at the joke. Rafe groaned, finally understanding the joke and being angry at himself for willingly taking the bait.

"Okay, okay. The joke's over."

Kelce laughed again before taking a full swig of another beer bottle. He stared at the sky, and let out a loud huff.

"Wish we can go up there."

"Me too, man," Topper agreed. He joined Kelce by staring up at the dark sky, both clearly high out of their minds.

"Do you want to?"

(Y/N) looked to her side, not noticing Rafe who had moved from his previous position near Topper to beside her. She quirked her head to one side, her face questioning.

"Go up to the sky," he explained. He watched as she looked up to the sky, her mouth slightly parting. Her chest heaved peacefully, and her wet body donning the lilac bikini never looked so beautiful and perfect.

"Nah. I'm too scared."

"Even when I'll go with you?" he smiled. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, though her heart was soaring brightly; she would never feel scared anymore if he were to be around her all the time.

"Yeah. Even when you’ll go with me. Besides, it's not possible."

"Let people enjoy things," he said, and he was so close to her now because she could smell the coffee mint from his breath. Her heart was beating wildly, though this would be the ten-thousandth time he did this to her.

It never failed to leave her completely breathless.

"You're drooling," he whispered, and used his thumb to wipe her wet lips from the beer. Her breath hitched, and she couldn't utter any words back. She was too mesmerised with the whole situation.

His fingers stopped at her chin, looking into her eyes, and he was petrified too. He leaned in, but before anything could happen, (Y/N) moved away. He cleared his throat, and swam back to the deck.

‘I’m drunk’ was repeated by him all the way to the the place he threw his clothes off, shaking his head at the thought that he was so close to kissing her. He looked back to her direction in the lake, still staring at him. He focused back on the ties of his shorts, and made his way back to the Kelce’s house.

He ignored his best friends calls.

. . .

(Y/N) never really liked school, but she loved the after-activity that she got herself in.

Like cheerleading.

She used to think of the sport as something quirky, but in truth, once she was accepted into the school’s cheerleading team, she had never been more into a sport than before.

She walked down the field to the other side of the track where the other girls were waiting for her. Her training skirt flew slightly from the wind, and she was trying to hold them down all while carrying the water bottle and a duffle bag.

She exchanged a few greetings with her other friends, putting down her duffle bag and her water bottle. The sun was scorching hot, and all she felt like was eating ice cream inside of their boat whilst streaming down the lake, but the last time she had ditched cheer practice, it hadn’t ended well.

“Uh-oh,” someone exclaimed behind her. “Big bro is coming.”

(Y/N) looked up to the field, and sure enough Kelce was running towards her in his jersey. (Y/N) sighed, not knowing what she did now that could earn her a lecture from Kelce.

“Hey, I’m bringing a girl home after practice,” he said. “Would you mind getting a ride with someone else?”

She groaned, “Fuck, Kelce, no. You can tell your new scandal to fuck off because I am not getting an Uber to walk back to home.”

“Look, please? You can ask your friends to give you a ride, right? It’s important,” he begged. His eyes were scanning her friends now, obviously trying to find someone who could help his sister, and when he found one, his smile quirked upwards. “Yo, Sarah! Can you drive (Y/N) home after practice?”

Sarah walked towards them, her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She slung her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders, noting the exasperated expression on her face, and gave Kelce a glare.

“You should let her drive a car if you’re going to bring a girl home after school,” she said. Kelce groaned, knowing the amount of shit he will be getting from the people around him, but he was truly trying to make it right for this new girl.

“Look, I’ll buy y’all anything for a week. Food? Sure. Clothes? Sure.”

Sarah clapped her hands, seemingly excited, and forced (Y/N) to say yes. She wouldn’t mind driving (Y/N) home, because she wanted to catch up with her about some gossip too.

“Fine. But I’m driving my own car tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” was all he said before he jogged down to the soccer team.

That evening was hell to (Y/N). She couldn’t get the formation right, the sun was getting hotter and hotter, her hair was sticking out weirdly, and worst of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s event.

He was so, so close to her.

“(Y/N), come on! What’s gotten into you? The top part, again!” The coach yelled, slapping her hands against her lap. There were sweat forming on her forehead, and she was obviously hot and bothered from this whole situation.

But sport was sport. The coach wasn’t going to let today’s training to waste, and she intended for the new number to work.

(Y/N) muttered a soft ‘sorry’ before going back to her position, her heart still thumping at the thought. The cheer started, and her mouth was saying the words, but her brain was somewhere else.

The two guys by her side picked her up by her calf, and she felt the wind gushing out from beside her ears. She was high up in the sky now, throwing one arm upwards and balancing herself on one leg, and it was finally time now, to twirl into the two boys’ arms, but she wasn’t ready. Her mouth didn’t utter any words from the cheer, too focused on the step, and before she could jump back into their arms, she felt herself slipping.

“(Y/N)!” The coach yelled, running towards her by the track. Sarah and the other teammates were surrounding her now, watching as she groaned on the ground painfully, holding onto her arms.

“Okay, I take that as the end of today’s training,” the coach said, sighing. “(Y/N), are you okay? Can you walk?”

(Y/N) held her thumbs up, because she had worse injury than this before. Hell, the boxing fight she used to have with Kelce in their childhood was more painful. She sat up from the track, feeling the heat of the ground burning on her bottoms, and stretched her fingers. The pain coursed through her veins at the feeling, but kinda liked it.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Sarah said, helping her up. She groaned when she finally stood on her two feet, feeling so painful all she wanted to do was lay back on the track, but she knew she had to go home.

She allowed Sarah helping her limp towards a black Mercedes, her eyes closed the whole time.

Okay, scratch the fight with Kelce. This one was more painful than ever.

“Can I stay at your house?” She blurted when Sarah drove out of the school gate. “I don’t feel like listening to my mom’s lecture about my leg.”

Sarah glanced at her from the rearview mirror, watching as she spread her leg out the whole backseat. The ice bag someone had gotten her was pressed against her calf, and she was sweating from the heat and trying to contain the pain.

“Yes, of course, that would be better,” Sarah said. She had other plans that evening, but helping (Y/N) overstepped all of them.

“So what’s up with you and John B?”

Sarah turned to look at her fully on her face, furrowing her eyebrows. “What do you know about John B?”

(Y/N) laughed, “The light’s green.” Just on cue, the car behind them horned at Sarah, and she quickly pushed on the pedal.

“How do you know about John B?” Sarah asked, biting her lips. If (Y/N) could find out, she couldn’t imagine what would Rafe do if he finds out.

“God, don’t be worried. I’m not going to tell anyone about this, okay? Just relax. I think it’s cute.”

Sarah’s worried expression softened, “You think so?”

“Yeah. At least you got to be with whoever you want. Some people can’t have that.”

Like her. Kelce would kill her and dump her body in the ocean for the sharks if he ever finds out how much she likes Rafe.

“You’ll find the one soon. How about that guy in your maths class?” The car turned to the right, nearing the destination.

“No. I’m not looking for anyone.”

There’s only one, but Sarah won’t like the answer.

The time was 8.23p.m. now, and (Y/N) had been in Sarah’s room for a total of 3 hours. After catching up on new gossips, watched a movie, did her English essay, she felt extremely dehydrated.

Sarah was sleeping peacefully beside her, being so tired after the practice and school, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like waking her up. She have been to The Camerons household, but that was only for Sarah’s birthday party a few years back.

She sighed, getting up from the bed to find the kitchen. The house was like a maze, and she wished they had some kind of a map to browse through.

Alas, she found the kitchen, her muscles screaming from all the wrong turns she took before. She knew where the plastic cups and plates were situated, having to help Sarah get them during her birthday party, so she didn’t have any trouble getting some.

She drank the cold water quickly, feeling the liquid sloshing down her throat. The feeling was so, so good that she wished she could go through it again.

“I do not know where your sister is, Kelce,” a voice sighed not far from the kitchen. “I told you you shouldn’t bring that girl home and just drive (Y/N) home yourself.”

The voice, unmistakably Rafe, was getting nearer and nearer. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, trying to find an empty space to hide in, but there were none. She panicked, still looking for a way out that she didn’t notice the tall figure behind her.

“Oh. Found you.”

His hair was dishevelled and wet, his chest heaving and he was shirtless.

What a nice way to bump onto each other.

“Take a picture,” he started, shutting his phone off and placing them in his shorts. “It’ll last longer that way.”

Now we’re talking about the new Rafe.

(Y/N) scoffed, pushing him away and making a disgusted face at his sweat sticking on her arms. “I’m here for Sarah.”

“Why? Did she die or something?”

God. He really is insufferable.

She made to push him away to return to Sarah’s room, only for him to grab her by her waist.

“Move.” Her tone was stern, but her stomach was flipping wildly. She tried to not look so bothered, but failed miserably.

Rafe seemed to notice her behaviour because he didn’t let go of her. “Come on, where’s the fun in that?”

She was on the same level as his neck now, and he could still smell his expensive cologne even after he swam in the swimming pool. She sighed, placing her hands against his chest.

“Move.”

Rafe laughed, putting his hands up in defeat, and went to grab the same glass she was drinking from. He refilled the glass and downed the content, and (Y/N) had to look away from the innocent move.

Maybe he was just saving water by not using a different cup.

“Do you need help to return to Sarah’s room or something?”

“No, I’m fine,” she refused, and made sure he could see her fake annoyed expression before she returned to the hall she came from. But there were 2 halls now, and she completely forgot which one she had been before.

“Really?” Rafe stood beside her, and she looked up to his amused face. “Because you’re in the wrong hall. It’s the other exit of the kitchen, darling.”

. . .

Why couldn’t she not see his face every single day?

It was truly troubling her, to see that boy everyday, because she couldn’t think properly every time.

The lights from the stadium blared widely, and the deafening screaming coming from both teams’ supporters rang throughout the whole field. (Y/N) was sure the whole island could hear them too.

Two things happened earlier than evening. Number one, her skirt wasn’t completely dried after being sent off to the laundry for a week, and her hair wasn’t just cooperating.

So here she was; in a shorter uniform skirt, her hair hung up into a ponytail with lots of hairspray. She wished for nothing but to be all cuddled up with her blanket in her room.

“You’re okay?” Sarah asked. She fixed (Y/N)’s lips gently, getting the lipstick and lipliner even, and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. “Don’t worry about the skirt. It looks normal.”

For a little girl.

(Y/N) sighed and involuntarily pulled down the hem of her skirt. Ten minutes from the game now, and she was nervous she would flash everyone on the school compound.

In the locker room, Rafe was sitting right next to Kelce as his best friend prayed for a win tonight. He was never that religious, and he didn’t feel the need to mutter a prayer to anyone. But tonight, he listened intently to whatever Kelce was saying because he needed to win this cup more than anything in the world.

“You’re okay?” The coach asked, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Just nervous.”

“Don’t be, you’re the Star Player. Right?”

The Star Player.

Rafe gave him a smile, and went back to his praying.

When he first entered the field to meet the rival team, his eyes couldn’t help but scanned the bleachers to find his dad. Ward wasn’t there, but Rose and Wheezie were cheering for him.

Of course.

He sighed, and went straight to the middle of the field. It’s funny how everyone was there to support him, Rafe, the Star Player, the jock, the whatever else people were saying about him.

He just wanted Ward to see him.

“Come on, man, it’s fine,” Topper said, patting his back. “He’ll come later.”

Even his friends could see how miserable he was feeling.

The first match of the game went smoothly; he scored a try goal, everyone was cheering loudly, but it was just then that one of the opponents came knocking Rafe by his side.

Rafe fell to the ground with a loud thud, earning so many gasps from the stand.

“What the fuck?!” Topper pushed whoever responsible for his fall, and the sound of a whistle rang throughout the air. “He pushed him for nothing! You saw it, fuck!”

Rafe groaned on the ground, clutching onto his arms, and he tried to spread his fingers, but couldn’t. His other teammates were surrounding him now, trying to get a good look of him, all while Topper and Kelce and another friend of his went off to the referee.

Rafe put his other hand up, trying to sit up. “I’m fine, I’m fine! Move!”

The other members scattered away, sighing in relief when Rafe came back to his legs. The referee, still getting yelled at by Topper, shook his head at something he said, and before anyone could process what happened, Topper tackled the opponent who had pushed Rafe down to the ground.

Kelce pulled Topper away after a few long seconds, telling him to stop. But one thing about Topper is that he just won’t stop.

“Stupid fuck!” He yelled, throwing another punch.

“Topper, stop, they’re going to throw you off the field!” Kelce yelled. Finally, he separated them away after the opponent’s friend pulled his injured friend away.

The referee, expectedly, pulled a red card to Topper, earning a groan coming from their coach and the stand. Rafe cursed, knowing that Topper’s one of their strongest member. He watched as Topper tried to argue with the referee, but it was no use.

“It’s okay,” Kelce said, patting his back as he made his way back to the bench. “Relax, bro, okay?” Topper calmed down after the coach said something to him, but Rafe could clearly see the distress written on his face.

“You’re okay?” Kelce asked, pointing to his arms.

Rafe could move his muscles now though he could feel the sharp pain from doing so. But he was too content on winning this game.

(Y/N) watched as the second match unfold, her teeth biting into her lips in fear. She didn’t feel like having the next week full of gloomy students and disappointed teachers, so she wanted the cup as much as everyone else.

Rafe was fast, throwing the ball smoothly back and forth with Kelce and his other friends, but it was apparent that the Star Player wasn’t feeling like himself.

It might be the arm, or the fact that Ward Cameron was too busy with his work to see his son playing.

37 minutes had passed, and the other team was leading. They only had 3 minutes left, and with the team being so drained out and their captain with a broken arm, it was clear who was winning.

The whistle blared through the field again, noting the end of the match. As the other team supporters cheered happily the other side of the stands muttered silently to each other about the game.

(Y/N) watched as Rafe yelled something at his teammates angrily before storming off to the locker room. He winced in pain, holding his arm for support, and ignored every calls from his friends as he made his way to the empty room.

Looking around quickly, she muttered a ‘be right back’ to Sarah, and quickly followed Rafe into the locker room. She wanted to see if he was okay, and if he needed help with his arm.

In truth, she just wanted to be there for him.

“Hey,” she slowly said, and Rafe’s head perked up to see her before he looked down to the ground again.

“What do you want?”

She felt a struck of pain across her heart at his tone, but decided against it. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I was just trying to see if you need anything,” she said, and when his eyes finally looked up to her again, she unconsciously pulled her skirt down again.

“Yeah? I don’t need anything. Go!”

“Wow, you’re a dick,” she scoffed, and before Rafe could mutter anything back, she exited the locker room and straight to the cheer team. She felt a mixture of anger and embarrassment all at once, because God, Rafe Cameron did not just yell at her for trying to be nice.

She should’ve known better than to be ‘nice’ to him. He wasn’t the same 8 year old she met 10 years ago.

. . .

A week had passed from the game, and everything went back to normal.

Except for one person.

Rafe didn’t come to school the next Monday, not that (Y/N) wanted to see him after getting yelled at, but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

He didn’t just broke his arm; his father also chose not to attend his game.

It was finally Friday, and (Y/N) was too happy to stay home and continue watching Love Island. Life is better when you are focused on someone else’s relationship other than yours.

She was rolling in her bed, casually smiling at the cheesy joke made by one of the contestant, and before she could hear the reply towards the joke, the doorbell blared throughout the house.

(Y/N) groaned, thinking how Kelce must’ve forgotten his keys again, and waited a few more minutes so that he would just leave her alone and go to that stupid prick, Rafe Cameron’s house.

But the doorbell rang again, and she had no choice but to open the door. She was all alone in the big house, having both her parents still working and her maids having the day off.

But when she opened the door, the boy standing before her was the last person she wanted to see.

“Hi,” Rafe said.

“Kelce’s not here,” she mumbled, and pushed the door close. Rafe’s quickly put his hands to block the door from closing, and (Y/N) pulled away after deciding not to crush his other only working hands.

“What?” She asked, in the same tone that he had given her in the locker room. She felt good when his eyebrows were raised.

“I’m here for you.”

“Why? Did I die or something?” Bingo.

“God, you’re impossible,” Rafe sighed. “Can I talk to you? Just us two?”

(Y/N) sighed, wanting to get this done, and opened the door wider to grant him into her home. (Y/N) closed the door and pressed her back against it, crossing her arms.

“Okay. Talk.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He said. “I was just so angry with everything. I was pushed and Topper received a red card because of me—”

“You didn’t do anything, Rafe.”

“Yeah, but he was just trying to protect me. And, and I was just so mad at myself because I couldn’t play properly like I usually play. I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it.”

(Y/N) sighed, “It’s okay. I’m over it.”

“Really?” He stepped closer, and this time, (Y/N) allowed him. “Thank you so much!”

He pulled her into a crushing hug, and before she could put her mind into it, he lifted her up and spin her around.

“Okay, okay, now you’re just pushing it,” she groaned, hitting him on his chest. “Put me down, Rafe, I swear to god.”

Rafe put her down, his face shining happily. They were close again, like that time in the lake, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like pushing him away again.

Because maybe, that 8 year old him was somewhere in there.

“Uh—” he looked away, scratching the back of his head. “Do you wanna. . . watch Netflix?”

(Y/N) cleared her throat, “I was watching Love Island. Wanna watch with me?”

Rafe nodded, anything to get closer with this girl, and followed her upstairs to her room. The first time he entered her room was 9 years ago, and it was only because Topper and Kelce had pranked him into thinking that her room was the gaming room.

“What are you doing?” The girl before him yelled, and before he could explain how he was lied to, she threw a pink hairbrush at him. He groaned from the pain, rubbing his head.

“I’m sorry, I thought this was the gaming room!”

“Out!” She yelled, and he quickly obliged.

Her room was still pink, but it was now filled with so many books, clothes and makeups instead of the dollhouse and toys he saw a few years ago.

“Is this the pink hairbrush you threw at me?” He laughed, holding the pink tool. (Y/N) snatched the hairbrush, embarrassed, and quickly stuffed them into the drawers.

He placed himself beside her on her bed, watching her as she resumed the video. He focused on the show, trying to find at least something interesting from the show, but there was nothing.

2 episodes later, he was too into the show that he pressed on the stop button before they could continue on the next episode.

“I wish they would just communicate,” he said. “Like the whole show’s pointless. They didn’t try to talk to each other about their problems.”

“Yeah, that’s what makes the show interesting, Rafe,” she said as if that was a fact, “And besides, if they communicate, everyone will win the show.”

“Then that’s just good. A win-win situation.”

“You don’t get it,” she groaned, looking into his face. “There’s no use in fighting with you about this.”

She pressed on the resume button again, and instantly, Rafe pressed on the stop button.

“Rafe, I will—”

“You still haven’t apologised for throwing the hairbrush at me.”

She widened her eyes, “That was 9 years ago.”

“And?”

“Fine,” she placed her laptop aside, and turned to fully look him in the face. “Sorry.”

“Not sincere enough.”

She groaned, “Rafe, I am terribly sorry for throwing my pink hairbrush at you. I am so sorry that it hit your face and be the reason why you’re still holding vengeance at someone.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of sorry.”

“Fuck, you’re annoying,” she said. “I’m not going to bow down to you or anything.”

“Just a kiss.”

She looked at him back, her heart stopping at his words. “No.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re Rafe?”

“Rafe? Okay, fine. I’m not Rafe. I’m Rafael.”

“Okay, it’s still a no. You’re Kelce’s best friend.”

“Didn’t you kiss Topper last year?”

“That was a dare—” she sighed. “And it didn’t mean anything.”

“Exactly. This won’t mean anything. This is just a sorry.”

It would mean everything to her to place her lips against his.

“This is sexual harassment.”

“Not if you want it too,” he said, and leaned closer to her. “And you do want it, right? I can see it in your eyes.”

She didn’t know why God would put her and Rafe in this damn position over and over again, because it wasn’t helping her to get over him.

She looked down to his lips, and how it was so inviting, and she wanted more than anything to kiss him, to finally give herself to him, but she was afraid.

“Rafe—”

“Shut up,” he cut her off, and pressed himself against her. Their kiss was slow and passionate, none like neither (Y/N) or Rafe had experienced before. Her hands found themselves wrapping around Rafe’s neck, pulling him closer.

He pulled away, grinning. “I thought you didn’t want this.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, and pulled him in for another kiss again.

He pushed her down onto the bed gently, still kissing her, and his hands were roaming down her body. She was so, so perfect and every time he saw her, he would have to look away to stop the unwanted thoughts forming in his head.

During the game last Friday, he had to pinch himself from staring at her legs in that goddamn skirt for too long.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he whispered, and she hummed in response before pushing him over so she could take control. She sat on top of him, grinning widely. She was in heaven; seeing him all worked up under her with his chest heaving.

“You would be surprised at the amount of times I imagined myself on top of you like this,” she said, placing her hands flat on top of his chest.

Rafe grinned back, trying to contain his feelings. “Yeah? Wanna show what else you’ve been imagining?”

She leaned closer, making sure to brush her bottom against him and hearing his soft groans. She placed a soft kiss against his cheek, and whispered into his ear.

“Would rather have you show what you’ve been dreaming of me.”

Rafe licked his lips, loving this side of her, and he wanted more than anything to make her his. She looked so innocent sitting there on top of him, smiling and biting her lips.

Before he could touch her in ways he never did to a girl before, a voice rang from outside the room.

“(Y/N)? Have you seen Rafe? I saw his car outside,” the voice said. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You’re okay? I’m coming in, okay?”

“No, no, wait!” (Y/N) shouted, scrambling from her position on top of Rafe as he quickly pulled her up, but it was too late.

Kelce saw them in the midst of trying to get away, with his sister’s leg on one side of his best friend and his best friend’s hands still around his sister’s waist.

“What. The. Fuck.”

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia 

[timextoxhajima]

ok dana, hear me out but spiderman!juyeon djsjd i can't get that thought out of my brain so if you like this idea, i trust you 100% so please write whatever your heart desires <3

also congratulations on hitting 700 !!! <3

꘩ title: it's on again

꘩ member: tbz juyeon

꘩ genre: spiderman! ju x spiderwoman! reader [ᵒᵏ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈ ˢᵗᵘᵖᶦᵈ ᵇᵘᵗ ᶦᵐ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ᶜᵒⁿˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗ ᵃ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ᵒʷⁿ ᵇᵉᶜ ᵃˢ ᶠᵃʳ ᵃˢ ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵍʷᵉⁿ ˢᵗᵃᶜʸ ᵃˢ ˢᵖᶦᵈᵉʳʷᵒᵐᵃⁿ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵉˣᶦˢᵗᵉᵈ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ ᵘⁿᶦᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ᵃˢ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᵖᵉᵗᵉʳ ᵖᵃʳᵏᵉʳ ʷᵃˢ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᵛᵉ ᵃˢ ˢᵖᶦᵈᵉʳᵐᵃⁿ] fluff, angst, action, a little bit of e2l

꘩ warnings: mentions of blood, some violence, swearing

꘩ wc: 2.65k

꘩ a/n: I'm a marvel stan so i kinda know some shit but imma try to make this as original as i can ok // i used to write action fics (yeah wtf right HAHAHAHHA) and if you watch the spiderman movies (and i mean all 3 versions in the cinematic universe, I'm guessing you should know where the track's from. and if you don't, it's probably my favourite track from ANY marvel movie so i hope you can check it out)

the siren. it's loud in your ears but you look down and nobody past the surrounding few blocks reacts to it. first, the lights in some apartments flicker on, and someone appears at their window, looking down at the jewellery store that's just been broken into.

kind of stupid, you think. not many would rob a jewellery store nowadays they wouldn't get much out of it unless they planned every single move carefully.

"hurry the fuck up. i want to be out of here with it in 2 minutes."

it?

sucking in a deep breath and pulling the elastic hood over your head, you free-fall off the edge of the roof.

your stomach feels like it's being pushed upwards and your lungs empty when you aim your wrist upwards into the opposite block, the sudden yank of the web keeping you from falling flat into the asphalt below.

swing once, then you let go and land with your centre of gravity low to the floor, fingers pressed against the unevenness of the road. the dead night has resulted in a lack of traffic, so you stand right across the jewellery store, in plain sight, eyes on the group of men inside.

calmly strolling across the road, you casually push the door open, and the alarm blares again, causing you to flinch a little.

"what the-!"

"okay, okay, don't shoot," you raise your hands in the air, holding still as multiple guns take aim at you. "so, what is it you're looking for?"

the four men have their gloved hands tight around their guns. all four masked, but you can see the whites in their eyes - that how wide they were open.

"it's the girl one."

"i thought you'd be able to tell from the suit," you look down at yourself, pleased with the black, white and purple suit. "pretty, right?"

"shut up!" their guns tremble in their hands. "why don't you fuck off and maybe we won't kill you, spidergirl?"

footsteps.

"i go more by `spiderwoman'," you grimace to yourself (which was pretty funny since they can't see shit). "and yeah, no, i can't do that. you gotta at least tell me what you're looking for before i-"

someone is standing behind-

"one more word and i'll blow your brains out, spiderwoman."

a barrel is pressed into your temple. shutting your eyes under your mask, you smile to yourself.

"fucking continue searching! we have two minutes before the police show up!"

with that, the four men within your sight chuck their guns back under their pants and thrash through the stands and drawers, flinging every object to the ground in a bid to uproot the entire store.

"so... what is it you're looking for?" the barrel jabs into your temple, and the man behind walks around to your front. "it's like, the second time i've asked that. your men didn't tell me."

"do you always talk this much?"

"well- yeah. it helps me distract you."

your left arm pushes away his outstretched arm with the gun, and you twist it downwards before slamming your foot into his hand, catching a glimpse of the tattoo on his forearm. the shout that runs out his throat sounds more like a child's than what he had been talking in.

picking up the gun, you hurl it into one of the four men who's just gotten his out of the belt of his pants, and with a thud it knocks into his forehead.

the sharp gunshots sound slower in your head when you're paying attention, so you dodge the three incoming ones by dropping to the ground and rolling behind the man with the broken hand. picking him up by his pants and arm, you fling the heavyweight into two of the remaining men, who end up crashing into a glass, display cabinet.

the last one though, has his gun aimed straight at you. over the groans and painful moans of the ones on the floor, you're slowly walking in one direction, stepping into all the glass pieces on the floor.

crunch. 

gunshot. 

your eyes widen when you realise the sound of the glass had distracted you before he pulled the trigger.

but you're abruptly yanked out of the store by a familiar force of motion (you haven't been on the other end of a web-string before) through the glass window behind you, and the gunshot slices itself through something organic.

the unevenness of the asphalt greet you again through your mask and your suit, and you look behind you to see the one that everybody knows better than you.

the red latex around his arm has split open, replaced with a dark shade of thicker, liquid red where the bullet had cut through his skin.

"i think you were distracted by the glass," he says, hissing under his breath, glancing down at his wound.

"i had it," you pull yourself to your feet, listening to the metallic creak as he hops off the roof of the car and trudge to the store where the last man was visibly more scared.

"you could've been shot," he calls back, hopping over the height of the concrete and through the display window.

gunshot. 

gunshot.

gunshot. 

web-string.

the gun drops to the ground and spiderman has the man taped to the ceiling with a thick layer of web.

"care to come in and help me?" shooting a web down at the man with the broken hand, spiderman tapes his arm down to the floor before he can reach the gun.

sighing, you hear the sirens first, before turning back and searching for the bullet that had gone through his flesh first.

by the time you've got all five men tied up with web strings and taped to a wall or a ceiling at least five feet apart, four police cars have showed up outside. the sirens were flashing their bright red and blue lights through the store, and it's kind of annoying, to be honest.

"it's a surprise to see the both of you in one location," one of the officers that you've met before comes up to you.

"just wanted to make sure nobody gets hurt," spiderman turns to look at you, and through the mask you can already see his stupid, kindred smile.

"but you did," the officer nods to his wound. "need some first aid? we got paramedics on the way."

"it's fine, it'll heal up in a week," he shrugs it off. "i think she broke someone's hand though!'

"he had a gun to my face. he should be glad he's alive.'

"well, they all should be," the officer nods in agreement. "i know I'm a law enforcement officer but sometimes i wish we didn't have to pay taxes to keep these idiots alive in jail."

the ambulance shows up, and the now-crowded street was filled with both citizens and reporters. lights begin to go off when they catch a glimpse of the town's two superheroes in one spot, shouting both yours and spiderman's nicknames.

"well, I'm going off first," pointing back over his shoulder as he walks backwards and away from the crowd, spiderman announces. "you coming with?"

turning to look at the officer, you nod as a gesture of thanks. spiderman first flies off the road when he shoots a web-string at one of the buildings, and you jog off into the air as yours pulls you off the ground.

carefully placing the flat end of the bullet on juyeon's desk, your vision soaks in the sight of his blood on the pointed tip.

"why- get that off my table!" he yelps, sweeping it off the surface of the food and staring at it with a look of disgust on his face. "i totally forgot about this."

"yeah, so the police can find it and they can track your dna and possibly kidnap you for experimenting."

“that’s easy,” juyeon pulls his wardrobe open and yanks off his mask, forcing his hair into a mess. “just give them the name of that spider at the science lab.”

“then they’ll make more of those and guess what’s gonna happen when the worst people get the hold of them?” pulling off yours, juyeon strolls into his attached toilet and the latex snaps against his skin while he struggles to get out of it. 

“do you need help?” 

“...no!” snap. “don’t think so!”

“okay, when you’re done playing rubber-band with your suit, can you come out and i’ll help you dress your wound?” his cabinets are in a mess when you yank them open. all these books and files from his modules and yet not one first aid kit? “sir, where in the world is your first aid kit?”

“first aid kit? i don’t need those.”

“oh, fuck’s sake,” slamming the doors of the cabinets shut, you slip on your mask again. “you better be bathed and washed when i’m back.”

“what?” he calls from the bathroom, then sticks his head out through the doorframe. his shoulders are slightly exposed and his hair’s a mess like it should be. “where are you going?”

“home. to bathe. and to get you a fucking first aid kit,” sitting by the window ledge, you ramble over your shoulder and at him. “just ‘cause your dumbass can heal fast, doesn’t mean you’re invincible.”

juyeon blinks at you, unsure of how to respond, before you push yourself over the ledge and swing your way down into the nearest pharmacy store. 

the night’s deeper when you leave your room for the second time that night. even fewer cars, fewer lights in apartments turned on. lesser life. your ears aren’t picking up any anomaly than the chirping of crickets and the occasional beeping of traffic lights down the road.

but this is your favourite part of it all. you pull on another mask (that looks identical - you have more than one set of suits) and swing yourself out of the window.

juyeon’s in his bed, awkwardly trying to clean his wound with a piece of cloth that’s too red for his own good. 

“what did you do, stab yourself in your wound?” with the plastic bag shoved into the huge pocket of your oversized hoodie, you yank it out and search for the ointment and bandage. “you’re bleeding too much.”

“i was bathing and then- and then i tried- stretching my arm to see how bad it is-”

“for a superhero, you’re kind of a fucking idiot, y’know,” the plastic crinkles when you set it down, dragging a chair over to him by his bed and slapping his hand away. 

“i just wanted to see how bad it was,” juyeon hands you the bloody cloth, pulling up his sleeve and holding it in place as you tend to his injury. “be gentle please- ow!”

“sorry,” you glance at him with wary eyes, gently dabbing on his wound with the ointment. 

the crickets outside are loud tonight, and for a split second, you wish you could remove this enhanced-hearing ability. but you wouldn’t have heard this if you didn’t have it.

“the crickets are loud tonight,” juyeon winces, watching the bleeding stop as the ointment color begins to stick to his skin. “the robbers you took down today. they’re part of a bigger group working to find pieces of jewellery scattered around the city.”

“how’d you know that?” giving his wound a tight press with the ointment-covered gauze, his facials crunch up from the pain. 

“the tattoo on the guy’s arm. the one whose hand you broke.”

“oh,” you pull away, dumping the gauze into his trash can by the window. “you’ve met them before then, i suppose?”

“yeah, two weeks ago. i was studying downtown with a friend who left early and i was heading back here when i saw a couple of guys ready to disable the alarm system. the police have identified the group, so they’re working on tracking them down.”

“two weeks ago? wasn’t that the one where you saved a girl?”

juyeon’s eyes halve into crescents as you tape down the end of the bandage.

“yeah, it was,” he grins widely, watching you stand and return the bandage roll back into the plastic bag. “i didn’t know you keep up with me.”

“i couldn’t not keep up even if i didn’t want to. you’re everywhere.”

“so are you, though.”

shoving the bag into one of the cabinets, you shut it with some angst and dissatisfaction.

“have you seen the number of times your face has appeared versus mine?” you cross your arms across your chest and raise a brow. 

“yes,” juyeon nods, turning to rest his feet on the ground and his arms by the sides of his hips. “and it’s a good number of times your face appears.”

“if mine’s a good number then yours is... over the moon.”

silence. you look at him in the eye and his smile slowly disappears into a look of contemplation. your attention zooms in on the bandage around his upper arm, and you suddenly remember the feeling of the web-string pulling you out of the store. sure, you crashed your spine through a whole glass sheet, but you would’ve been shot dead had juyeon not showed up.

your eyes dart back up to his face and he’s got a strange look in his eyes. his pupils are bright and shiny despite all the action that’s gone down, and you wonder for a moment how he had been able to do this for the 3 months he was the only hero in town.

“what are you thinking about?” juyeon pushes himself off the mattress as he rolls down his sleeve to hide the bandage.

clearing your throat, you break the eye contact first. “nothing. anyway, there are plasters, emergency painkillers and a stitching kit, and the ointment and bandage in the plastic bag i got, so-” toes pointed towards the window where you’re plotting your quick escape, juyeon holds out an arm to stop you in your tracks. 

“wait, y/n,” then he shifts between you and the window with his body. “i... i know you can handle yourself, and-”

“if this is an attempt of mockery or a way of getting me to say ‘thank you’ for saving my life just now-”

“no!” his eyes widen twice their original sizes, palms flying into the air to physically deny the accusation. “no, no. i just- well, it’s nice to have someone else i can count on to... be a hero. so... i just don’t want you to get hurt.”

you can hear his heart thunking in his chest now. it’s too fast. 

or was that yours?

“your heart’s racing,” he whispers.

“i won’t get hurt, i promise. i’ll be more careful next time.”

“y/n, i’m serious. or- or call me, whenever you’re about to bust a criminal or something.”

“i’ll call you when i need help, okay?” trying to curve him, he unexpectedly uses some fraction of his fast reflexes to block your way once more.

“no, please call me whenever you’re about to throw yourself out your window or free-fall from a building.”

looking up at him, his lips are pursed into an anxious, thin line. it’s not a usual sight. you have been working opposite one another for almost a year now, so for him it’s been a little more than that and the fear in his face is almost excruciating to digest.

“i’ll try.”

he frowns, rejecting the idea for a moment, but then it disappears. he nods.

“okay.”

“can i go home now?” 

an awkward pause.

“do you want to stay over?”

now, the frown befalls your face.

thunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

“that’s definitely not my heart, juyeon.”

“yeah, i know, i know,” he gulps, and you hear it loud and clear as he grimaces, looking away while rubbing the back of his neck. 

what’s with his nervousne-

“it’s mine.”

[looksthatkilledd]

WTF I WAS GONNA GO TO BED BUT I REALIZED WE HIT 700 FOLLOWERS WE WERE AT LIKE 665 LAST NIGNT WTF

[kentolove]

I feel like I said thank you for 700 just the other day but wtf we already hit 800 😭 Thank you for enjoying all my stuff lovies!!