#we havent even played yet but its like. Looming

[gemharvest]

Feeling obligated to play a game with my brother sucks I don't even wanna do it so it's kinda ruining my mood. Which is funny, it's a game you would THINK it wouldn't ruin my mood, but I only wanna do hyperfixation shit. :/

[zgvlt]

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WITH THE DIASOMNIA GANG? BOY DO I LOVE TO SEE IT. Especially since we havent had a lot of ssr cards of them with the exception of birthday ssr's. It would be so cool to finally see a Sebek event ssr or even an ssr event card of malleus!

Plus I wonder how they'll look like in a masquerade theme?? SERIOUSLY THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS THAT EVEN IF ITS NOT FEATURING DIASOMNIA, I BADLY WANT TO SEE WHAT THE EVENT IS ALL ABOUT 😭

[ referencing this ask ]

Phantom of the Opera AU >>> but it seems they're going more for Notre Dame apparently, which is also a top tier musical and movie (can't comment about the book since it's stuck in the TBR) it's so good

BUT IKR tbh I quit playing JP last year but I might as well download it again bc I know I will not be satisfied simply looking at a Sebek SSR, I'm gonna want to have it 😅 I don't think he's getting one yet yet but Chapter 7 is also looming slowly, I can feel it, so I might as well prepare... and also I am soft for all of Diasomnia as a collective so I'm so excited to see more of their interactions, hopefully this event will feed us

[buckysgoldenheart]

Angel in the Dark

Demon!August Walker x Reader

Summary: After a one-night stand, or what you thought would be one, a demon drags you to his world and forces you to grow wings like he has so you would have to stay with him, unable to permanently return to Earth.

Notes: (So this is like a one-shot that is little snippets/summary of something I might turn into a multi-chaptered fic. I’m not sure if I’m going to do that yet or if anyone would even like this idea, but if it seems a bit choppy, this is why.) I know its been an age and a half since i posted anything, but college, ya know? Also to those who have made requests, I have started all of them and they are to be posted next. I just started this fic a long time ago. I havent written anything for a while so it might actually kinda suck. 

Warnings: Implied smut, kinda. Unhealthy attachment on August’s end. If I make this chaptered then there would be actual smut. I think cursing. Eventual Stockholm syndrome if continued.

Words: 1713

 Angel in the Dark

You didn’t believe in fate, not really. You didn’t believe your life was predestined or anyone else’s to play with. It was yours alone, to make choices, good or bad. Only you decided when you did things and where you did them. And no one would have ever been able to convince you otherwise, until you met him.

Seeing him in that club, kissing him before you knew his name, now you couldn’t help but feel was in some way a trick, manipulated in his favor. That maybe bumping into him, quite literally, was his orchestration. Maybe whether you spoke to him or not, he had his sights set on you, and a one-night stand was never going to just get to be a one-night stand.

It was all too simple. Meeting you and not taking advantage, kissing you but following your lead, sleeping with you like you meant something to him. It didn’t add up. You could sense the kind of man he was; dominating and possessive. Too dominating and possessive to be as gentle with you as he had been. And all of it fell into a perfect line for what you now realized he wanted from you: not just sex, but more; nothing less than your life. But admitting all of that to yourself was entertaining the possibility that you were stalked like prey and any training at staying away from bad men had been a useless waste of time.

-------------------------------------------------

It was the third day, third of eight. August promised the pain would subside as the days passed, but so far he was proving to be a liar, not to your surprise. Every few hours, the wings ripped your skin wider to accommodate their size as they grew from the inside of your body pushing out. At three days, they were now the span of a couple feet, shining an opalescent white in the glare of the sun.

As you laid on your stomach, frozen in place against the mattress, wings bloodied and draped across your back with your eyes closed tight, you tried to understand the depth of the pain; how it was able to hurt the way it did. The feeling couldn’t compare to anything Earth may dare to offer. So different, so unnatural in its entirety, and indescribably excruciating. It was merciless, not letting you escape, not letting you find the will to walk without your bones threatening to crack. You could barely speak for fear fire would thrust itself up from your lungs and incinerate your throat. It was all-consuming, swallowing your body whole instead of localizing where the skin of your back had shredded open.

“Just a few more days,” August said, and you flinched at his voice. Every time he spoke it was a shock he was still there beside you, with his massive, black wings hanging over the back of the chair he sat in. Those monstrosities weren’t attached to his muscled back when you met him; nowhere in sight when he was in your bed.

August dabbed at your broken and bleeding skin with a cool cloth, eliciting little whimpers passed your chapped lips. “I know it hurts, Angel.”

“Don’t—" You forced out despite the heat in your throat, acid on your tongue, waves of nausea you knew would follow. “…C-Call me that.”

He sighed and continued to wipe the blood from your naked body. “I wish you wouldn’t say that. When the time is up, you’ll feel so much better about this, about me, and you’ll see how beautiful they are. You’re already so gorgeous, the wings will only add to your beauty.”

“I di-didn’t want--

“Don’t talk, Angel,” he said. “I know how you’re feeling about this right now, but humans are not allowed to live in this world. I had to do this so you can stay.”

You screamed as the wings tore your skin open a few more centimeters, and August quickly scooted his chair closer to brush the hair from your face.

He softly shushed you the way one might soothe a kitten, before leaning down and placing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. “It’s ok. I’m not going to leave your side.”

You would have slapped at him, pushed him away with all your might if you had the strength, but your lungs were tightening, body burning as if it had been licked by the sun. You were dying, slowly morphing into a horrid creature from fantasies, leaving behind any trace of humanity. In your veins you could feel something coursing and altering your DNA. You knew you still looked like you, for the most part, but you weren’t you, not anymore. All because you met a man who got attached and wouldn’t let you go. All because he couldn’t remain in your world and decided with certainty that if he couldn’t be in yours, he would drag you to his. A place some believed in and some didn’t, a place no one could prove the existence of, now your iron cage.

 ------------------------------------------------

It was five more nights of torture before you felt like you could really breathe again, and even then, the oxygen was just as foreign as the pain you had trudged through, and you found little comfort in it fully filling your lungs.

“You’re awake.”

His smooth voice drew your eyes away from the scenery out the bedroom window; the first glimpse of true, heavenly beauty you’d seen since he brought you here. But you weren’t convinced it wasn’t an illusion crafted by his devilish fingers for your comfort. Much like his own beauty, a trick tempting you to call off your desire to leave this world and go home. You tried your best to ignore how perfect he looked; the curls of his hair, the scruff of his jaw, the black wings you first saw the night you met him when they had suddenly appeared only after you’d slept together.

“And you’re standing already. I hoped to come help you, but you’re clearly much stronger than I was after I had to grow my own wings.”

Your eyes flashed in anger before your tore them away from his, back to the rolling hills overlapping one another outside your window. The breeze rustling your hair, the chirp of the birds, the glisten of the sun off the small lake dotted in the landscape, distracted you from August’s approach. You stilled at his breath hitting the back of your neck, but when he slipped his rough fingers through the layers of your shimmering feathers you couldn’t contain the shiver that shot through your body. His own black ones ruffled when his skin touched his creation.

“So beautiful,” he whispered.

“I’m glad you’re proud of your work.”

August let out a puff of air, a weak laugh. “My work? Angel, this was all you. I knew they would be beautiful if they were going to be a part of you, but you really outdid yourself.”

Twisting your body fast, you met him chest to chest, your eyes burning with a heat to match the devil. “I outdid myself? You forced this on me. You injected me with that—that poison without my permission.”

“And you survived. Not many can say the same. You’ve come out stronger.” Fingers trailed through your feathers again and you ignored the heat it sent to your core.

“I’ve come out of this wanting to kill you more than I did before,” You said, shifting the wing back and away from his reach.

Without a moment to pass, August gently grasped your chin between his thumb and index finger as his gaze landed on your lips. “That will fade with time,” he whispered, then inched his face closer. You shoved him away just before his lips could meet yours, and August stumbled back with a chuckle. “Certainly stronger.”

“I’m not going to let you kiss me,” you snapped.

“Not today, it would seem.”

“Not ever again!” Somehow the words felt wrong, each one more sour than the last. Wrong, as if your lips called to his and a portion of your mind was so disappointed at the fight you were going to force it through by trying to keep yourself away from him. But it was a small portion, and the rest of you was much stronger.

“We will see, Angel,” He crossed his arms. “You and I have eternity. One day you will wake up and realize I am all you have, I am all you want, and this memory will be lost. All you will know is me and my touch and our world.”

As he spoke, his eyes held a gentle sincerity that you wished wasn’t there. You wished the blue of them wasn’t so calm and casual and certain of the way he was feeling. Shaking your head, you matched his stance. “You’re a monster,” you said. “You really are, and here I thought I’d seen the worst of monsters, but clearly not.”

August slowly stepped back into your space again, catching you off guard with a flush to your cheeks as he loomed over you. But you kept his stare, even with your back against the wall, wings spread against the stone. “You may breathe your sweet words all you’d like, Angel, but it changes nothing,” He said, running a knuckle down your cheek. “If I am a monster, I am your monster, and I’m not going anywhere.” Smiling, his eyes glanced at your lips again. “Luckily for me…neither are you.”

Tags:

@agniavateira​ @tumblnewby @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @summersong69​ @starlite13​ @mstgsmy​ @purplelove75​ @defffcc​ @the-soot-sprite​ @kissthatlifeaway​ @atomicpaperhairdouniversity​ @aquariuslavenderhoney​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @the-problem-of-leisure​ @amberlokabrenna​ @a-dlv​ @writing-about-current-obsessions​ @weallhaveadestiny​ @coffeebreathy​ @madbaddic7ed​ @petitefirecracker10​ 

[poptod]

Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them to Me), pt. 4 (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: He needs to listen. He needs to understand.

Notes: i havent been able to write recently bc ive been spending a lot of time with my boytoy but hes off being a firefighter rn so ive just been nonstop writing and drawing. its ridiculous. i finished pt 3 and 4 in like three days. WC: 5.5k

+

There were less paintings in Thebes. White marble walls and pillars reigned supreme, a stark contrast from the colorful streets of Memphis. You decided not to bring it up, or at least not at the moment you realized it, as in that moment you were face to face with the mayor of Thebes. He was shaking Ahkmenrah's hand, a polite smile on his lips.

"It's good to see you again, Piye," Ahk said. You had to stop and go over the sentence again to make sure you heard it right. Piye wasn't on the same boat as yours, and wouldn't arrive for another day.

"As it is you, my King," the mayor replied.

A trail of servants, soldiers, and slaves passed both behind and in front of you, lugging the offerings to specific temples, and the royal belongings behind the Pharaoh. Haji was put to the use, as unfortunate as it was, and you couldn't help but apologize when he was asked to haul a massive reed basket full of dried dates.

"It's alright," he said, huffing with effort. "I've done this before. Not usually uphill, though."

"Sorry," you said again, wincing at the way sweat beaded on his forehead.

The massive block of shade casted by the royal house's overhang was a relief for those carrying items, and for Ahk as well, as this was his home-away-from-home. Images of Ahkmenrah remained painted across the walls, the only color in the crystal city. The Nile flowed steadily beside the house, short fences leading to a plentiful garden through which the water came, and date trees that grew taller than any building.

The mayor, who you slowly realized was also named Piye, left your group there with a bid for a good evening. Along with that, he invited the Pharaoh and you––his pet––to dinner with him and his family. You weren't sure how enjoyable that would be, but either way the decision was out of your hands.

Following Ahkmenrah, you found yourselves in a large room with a domed ceiling, tall arches framed by red curtains. Outside, trees rustled in the gentle wind with no hint of society. You silently cheered––it was better, you believed, to have a view of the land, rather than of the city.

"Tomorrow I shall take you on a true tour of the city," Ahk said, coming up behind you till his breath fell sudden on your shoulder. You jumped slightly, but arms around your waist stilled you, pulling you into an unfortunately familiar warmth. "How does that sound?"

You said nothing, staring into the silent night.

"We can go through the markets," he suggested, shifting so he held you tighter. "If you want for anything, I will give it to you. I'm sure you've gone through many markets unable to afford anything, so now's a chance to make up for some of that."

"... thank you," you said, very nearly whispered, as hesitance seized you fiercely. Giving into his words––you said you'd never do that. He was not threatening you in any way, so why would you try to please him?

"Are you tired yet?" He asked.

"Not especially," you said, voice still strained.

"How does a game of Senet sound, then?"

"I've... never heard of it," you said honestly, glancing to the side as your fingers fiddled with each other.

"Really? I think you'll quite like it. It's a game of wits and chance. Are you interested?"

You paused before saying, "sure."

He grinned, leaving you alone in the moonlit room as he raced to the servants bringing in his personal belongings. While you waited, you stared out the massive, pale arches, bright as the moon in the perfectly clear sky. Barely a breeze passed by, leaving the warm, humid climate to cling to your skin, slowing your breath as peace reached you. Thebes was nice––just not the city. The countryside was beautiful, and Ahkmenrah's home here was beautiful.

It was not hard for a room to be better than your previous room, tied up in the middle of inescapable stone walls, still you took special care to appreciate the freedom here. Yes, there was a large drop between the pristine upper floor and the ground, but that hardly mattered to you. By your reckoning, you could milk Ahkmenrah's affection for you. If he truly would not let you go, you might as well make the most of it, and earn whatever you longed for in your poorer life.

Steps echoing in the empty hall grew closer, leading to the creaking hinges of the large, wooden doors behind you. You turned, coming to see the Pharaoh grinning like a dope, entirely uncharacteristic for his royal attire.

"I brought my board from home, but I've got one here as well. Made of crystal and ivory, actually, but I don't like it as much as my wooden one," he said, rambling as he set the board down on the carpeted floor.

The board was presented as a tiny, rectangular table with black and red squares for the pieces to move on. Dark wood legs held up the board, within which was contained a drawer filled with the pieces, numbering two pairs of five. One style was a long pillar with a head on top, and the other was a round-base pyramid.

Over the course of the next couple minutes, Ahkmenrah explained the rules to you, how the pieces moved forward, and that whoever got all their pieces off first won. The basics were gone over, but you soon started without much knowledge on how to play. He taught as you went along, and soon you were truly playing, concentrated deeply on your strategy and how to win. There were a few different tactics you could try to slow down Ahk or speed yourself up, but as you grew engrossed in the game, you hardly noticed the smile spreading across the Pharaoh's face.

"You might actually beat me," he said as you took another one of his pieces, sending it back five paces.

"What, you didn't think I was smart enough at first?" You said with an almost sly grin.

"No, I – actually," he paused, "yes. Sorry. I might've underestimated you."

"Don't worry," you said, handing the dice to him. "You're not the first."

"Really?"

"I ran into this stand at one point. It was a man who took your coin and hid it under one of three cups, switched them all up, and asked you where the coins were. If you got it right, you were paid in double, and if you got it wrong, he took your money."

"Basic deal."

"Yes. I came as a young child, a stranger to the city. He thought I'd be easy prey, so he did his trick, but I noticed he was dropping the coins off the edge of the table and into his lap. So I pick-pocketed him for all the money he took from people."

"That... doesn't sound like he underestimated your smarts so much as underestimating your conniving."

"Perhaps so," you said, moving another one of your pieces to steal one of his, sending it back by three. "But for me, the two go hand in hand."

"I can see," he chuckled, his blush visible even in the moonlight.

After a long time spent finishing the game, as the last move off the board had to be an exact number, you won mostly by chance. Still you cheered, grinning satisfied as Ahk held his head low in failure. He chuckled though, his shoulders shaking with the silent laughter, bringing you great gratification.

"Where did you learn these tactics?"

"Ever been to Nubia?"

"A couple times," he said, looking to the side as he attempted to recall it. "My father was rather cruel to them, so I try not to visit too much. They don't really like the royal family."

"Understandably so," you said with crossed arms, watching him deftly pick up the pieces and cram them back in the drawer. "They memorized your father's military movements, and I assumed you learned your own tactics from him. Applying that to the fact that you're more passive aggressive than actually aggressive, I decided you'd probably be more on defensive, creating strong barriers instead of stealing my pieces."

"... Wow."

"You're also less likely to overcome my pieces because you're trying to gain my favor."

"Okay, I don't need an in depth analysis of my childhood and psyche," he said, holding his hand up but still laughing.

"You asked," you reminded him.

"I did. And I'd like to hear more, when I'm conscious enough to actually understand it," he said as he set away the board. He returned quickly to you, pulling you into a tight hug, before promptly releasing you with a kiss to your neck.

"Tired?"

"Mhm," he hummed, hand trailing down to tangle in yours.

Once affirmed of your presence, he led you along the barren, white floor, your reflections standing beneath you with chests pressed together. The plush of linen sheets and pillows caught you when he pushed you, and soon your body was cradled by the bed and overshadowed by the Pharaoh above you. Crownless, barren of cape or gold, and caught enraptured in your eyes.

As he loomed above you, seemingly caught in his adoration for you, you noted with much confusion that you were breathing normally. Your heart raced horribly in your chest, that still remained a constant sickness. Yet your muscles relaxed, sleepiness seeping into your bones, hypnotized by his loving gaze.

"You're cute," he said with a sudden, wide smile. You huffed, rolling your eyes as you put your hands on his face, pushing him away. He just laughed, falling over onto his back.

"Go to sleep," you told him, lying down on your side.

"Very well. But in the morning," he leaned over your turned shoulder, kissing your cheek, "be ready to be out in public with me."

His arms once more wrapped tight around your middle, tugging you into his heat as he tucked you under his chin. You had several questions, both concerning his statement and other things, but you decided to wait until tomorrow. Tears were budding in your eyes from your incessant yawning, and sleep was a blink away.

You dreamed of a lake that night––laced with lily pads, blue and purple petals sprouting from green buds. Inside each pocket full of pollen, a sun glowed and illuminated your searching fingers. A black stone sky towered above you, dark and cold with wind, creating a deep contrast between it and the warm water.

You awoke to a different stone sky, shaped in the same dome. This one was made of white quartz, carved delicately, and lit by the strength of the sun. Recognition came to you instantaneously, and you recalled the trip to Thebes and the game from the night before. The only difference was the absence of heat, of pressure on your waist, breath on your neck. Sitting up, you realized you were alone in the room. How rare a chance––unsupervised, with massive windows beside you that you could easily climb out of.

Before you could even think of how to act in the presence of such opportunity, the doors slowly opened, revealing Ahk with a tray in his hand. You furrowed your brow. Couldn't he have asked one of his servants to get that? Or in the very least, open the door for him.

"I have never claimed to be a chef. I want you to know that before you eat this," he said, which was a very alarming thing to be told before being presented a meal.

"Ummm..."

"That sounded bad. Let me restart. I am not a very good cook, but I did what I could."

"Why can't the chefs cook?"

"I'm not asking anyone to work during the Opet festival," he said with a frown, before calling out, "Naguib?!"

"Yeah?" He called back, footsteps soon nearing.

"What about him?" You asked.

"Oh, he's not here for work," Ahk said in a bright tone, looking over his shoulder to see Naguib entering the room.

"I'm just here to make sure he doesn't burn down the house," Naguib chuckled, leaning on the door frame.

"Yes, and thank you for that. Come here," Ahk said, motioning the servant either. He dutifully obeyed, and Ahk pulled out a small pouch, handing it to him. "Have fun."

"Thank you, sir," Naguib said, bowing to the King before ducking out.

"Funny little man, that," Ahk said once he was sure Naguib was out of sight.

"How so?" You asked, mildly amused at their antics.

"He's the only one who can switch readily between free time and work time. Not many people have that switch, you know," he said, turning back to you.

"Do you?"

"I like to think so. What do you think?" He raised himself to tower above you, his expression suddenly falling into a shadowed cold. "Can I put on the face of a King?"

That cocky bastard knew the answer perfectly well. A man so aware of his own emotions, of the way he carried himself, would obviously know about this aspect of himself. Many go their whole lives without ever cracking into who they truly are; but not the Pharaoh. He knew every crevice of himself, and he used it to his advantage. Every weakness hidden. Every strength glorified.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said, a cocky smirk on his face as you emerged from your thoughts.

You frowned.

"Oh, don't pout now, pet," he cooed as his finger trailed down the side of your face. "Let's see how breakfast turned out, hmm?"

He soothed and gained your vice attention at once with that little motion, that little motion he'd used a number of times before. Like himself, he had taken it upon himself to know you, to understand why you reacted in certain ways just as much as how you reacted. His expression gave little of that information away, so instead you turned to the tray and scanned its' contents.

You first noticed the wooden bowl of dates, set off in the corner of the platter beside two slats of seared meat. In the middle of it all was the largest plate, upon which he had placed an array of stirfry vegetables, garnished with an anise flower. Two cups were set to the side, filled with a faintly yellow tea. You reached for that first, as you had no idea what it was, and curiosity was always your main concern.

"What is this?" You asked, scanning the drink thoroughly.

"Blue lotus tea. Couldn't find any stores of beer, and I wanted to show you the flower. It's quite helpful in a number of things, medicinally... and recreationally," he said, biting at his bottom lip as he took the other glass.

"So... a drug," you said, raising a single brow.

"You could say that," he said as he took a sip, never breaking eye contact with you.

"Why don't I trust you?"

"Because I'm untrustworthy," he said, winking.

In the end you did end up drinking the tea, and the honey stirred within the warm water had you finishing the entire cup. Along with that, the two of you ate the various dishes Ahk had made with the help of Naguib, finding most of them––in the very least––edible. The meat was definitely burnt, and the stirfry was a little heavy on the anise. Overall, not bad––you probably shouldn’t expect more than that from a Pharaoh who had been handfed all his life.

He dressed himself once all was said and done concerning breakfast, twirling in the mirror to scan every inch of his outfit. There was no effort within it to conceal his identity as Pharaoh––in fact, it was enlarged, prominent and obvious on every golden brace and silk thread imbued within it. A regal, tall crown made of gold and bearing a poised cobra ended it all off, concealing the soft brown curls atop his head.

A few questions remained on the tip of your tongue, waiting for your brain to decide it was the right time to ask. After a little while of holding back, you decided that the 'right' moment would never come, and asked your question forthwith.

"Why are we here again?" You asked, thoughtlessly rubbing the sheets between your thumb and forefinger.

"The Opet festival," he answered, preening his cape. "It's an event that celebrates the strength of the Pharaoh. It'll be my first... since my father gave up the throne. We pray and make offerings to Amun, and the commonfolk are welcomed to ask their own prayers upon Amun's statue. Perhaps you've noticed it?"

Ah. That would explain the 11 foot tall statue made of gold.

"We'll be celebrating wealth for a little while, but in a week we take the barge to Luxor, where we shall enter the temple of Amun, and hopefully converse with the Gods. Amun, specifically."

"Yeah, I gathered that much. So all that food... it's offerings for this God?"

"Some of it, yes. Everyone brings their own offerings, and as I am a man of plenty, I brought plenty of offerings. It is also our duty as the government and protector of the people to replenish my citizens' energy, and so much of that food is actually for those who travel days and weeks to pray at Amun's feet. You, and the worshippers of Amun, will be well-looked after," he said, taking your hands softly in his and coercing you to your feet.

"Is that how it's always been?"

"As long as I remember. It wavers with cruel leaders... but never really vanishes. Our magic is as important as night and day, essential as fruitful trees, and as entwined with our lives as water. It is hard to break the worship engrained in generations."

While he spoke, he began to undress you, pulling at the buttons and knots until the fabric fell from you. Off your shoulders, off your hips, down your arms, until the white linen pooled on the marble floor. Soon you stood naked before him, but he kept his eyes on yours. Never strayed from your given attention.

"I know you don't adhere to our religion. I want you to know I don't mind. I would not force you into anything, especially not something as controversially widespread as religion," he said, cocking his chin upwards with a smile.

He took your hand again and led you out of the room. Chill breeze brushed by your naked stomach, sending shivers down the sensitive skin so readily bared. Once you reached the main entrance room, he let go of your hand, kneeling to dig into one of the massive bags packed before the trip. Most of them had been dumped in the front room, as the servants and soldiers were tired and ready for sleep the night before.

You attempted to look over his shoulder, an endeavor that was fruitless as it was needless. Soon he found what he was looking for, and he turned to you, presenting it in his open arms.

"Your clothes. From before. I had them washed and packed," he said, handing them to you.

Everything was there. Your long, red vest coat, your skirt with the panel tied into the waist, your buttoned shirt with the collar raised high onto your neck. Things you didn't genuinely expect to see again, and certainly not in the same shape as before.

"Thank you," you murmured, brow furrowed as you flipped through the layers. Without haste you pulled on the skirt, settling into your stolen shirt and the long coat over it. The only thing missing was your weapon––a staff with two spikes hammered into the end. Not the greatest weapon, but it served you well.

"New places can make me nervous, and personally it helps when I have something familiar with me. So I understand why you wanted them back."

"Yes, it's... good to be back in my clothes. Your style is a little much for me," you confessed, remembering the dress with no coverage of your chest except the straps holding the skirt up. A skirt that was see through.

"That's alright. I'm confused by yours as well."

If you were told anything by the various Egyptians you'd met in your travels, it was that Egypt was hot. Always sunny. Always humid. As you looked upwards, wide eyes meeting the grey sky, you nearly jumped. It had been a while since you'd seen a fully overcast sky, where clouds blocked out the sun and the horizons.

"Hmm," Ahk hummed as the two of you left the tiny palace, his hand encasing yours.

"Is it usually like this here?" You asked, looking up to Ahk. To your surprise, you had to squint, the sun still shining bright, white light through the fog.

"No," he said, beginning to walk down the steps, and taking you with. "Actually, it's usually a tad warmer than Memphis. No problem. I'm sure it'll clear out before the ceremony. We've got a week, after all."

He took you into the unfamiliar streets, through graffitied walls until stone turned to marble, great pillars surrounding a massive circle market. Stalls of various types spiraled down into the middle, where a towering obelisk overlooked all trade. Indecipherable hieroglyphs lined each side, though the base of the black stone remained invisible, hidden behind wooden stalls.

Once you entered the center, you noted brick beneath your feet, black stones running into a spiral in the midst of the white bricks. If you followed the path of the black stones, you would find yourself in the center of the market. As tantalizing as that exploration sounded, your hand was firmly set in Ahk's palm, and he had different plans.

You must've passed by a dozen carts before he finally stopped, halting you before a wooden stand showcasing a number of scarves. Each held a sheerness so intricate that you could see straight through it. The seller noticed your amazement, an amazement that had to be common, as he knew exactly what had caught your attention.

"These are made out of silk from China. Wonderful seamstresses they have, there. So thin you may draw the whole shawl through a common ring," the seller said, thumbing through a couple before pulling a blood red scarf out from beneath the stack.

He pulled a ring off his finger, and with great care, threaded the whole scarf through it. Before you could even react to the performance, Ahk was pulling a handful of coins out of his purse and setting them on the counter. The seller grinned, thanked him for the purchase, and just like that the interaction was complete. Ahk took your hand once more and led you away, continuing through the outer ring of the market.

"Beautiful color, isn't it?" He said, watching the way it wrinkled and fell in his hand. You made to nod, but paused as his arms drew over your head, placing the scarf over your shoulders.

"This is yours," you tried to say, but he shushed you, tutting sweetly.

"It's yours. And it looks fantastic on you," he said with a smile, pulling your entwined hands to his lips, where he kissed the back of your hand.

You pressed your lips into a thin line, trying your best not to say anything. That's how this day would go––he would buy you anything you looked at, flaunt his wealth in your face, utterly spoiling you in front of a whole city. Already your face felt as though it were aflame, nervous eyes set fiercely on the ground in front of you.

Along the way, Ahk stopped at a few jewelry carts, where he bought you an array of golden bracelets, faience necklaces, and ivory rings. It wasn't long till there was barely any room left for new gifts, though you suspected that was his plan.

"Here," he said, pausing your stride with a hand on your chest. "One of my friends here in Thebes runs a bakery. He makes the best tiger rolls I've ever had."

Must be good considering how much of them he's had, you thought dully. As usual, you kept your thought to yourself, and followed Ahk inside without complaint.

You were no longer scared of Ahk, you realized, watching him greet his friend with a gusto you rarely ever saw. He was just... irritating. Annoyingly sweet, painfully perceptive, and desperate to earn your favor. The things he dragged you along to do with him were the worst––markets too crowded for your tastes, too rich and uptight for your liking, or boats that you clearly stated you were uncomfortable being on.

The only good part was that outside, he didn't pay as much attention to you. While sitting around in the palace, his hands wandered you constantly, eyes set unmoving upon your body. He memorized those curves, the dips, the intricate veins, and the way you moved in those long hours. Outside, he was preoccupied with other stimulus and left you mostly alone.

Bitterness settled on your tongue. Your old routine was entirely lost, cast to the wind by the Pharaoh's greedy hands. The routine you loved, that kept you sane, and more importantly, kept you moving.

"Do you want anything, Amoke?" Ahk asked, leaning in to speak more intimately. You, of course, shied away, but was mostly stopped by Ahk's hand on your upper arm.

"Um... no. I'm not very hungry," you mumbled, and though he paused to glare suspiciously at you, he relented.

"Alright," he said, kissing your forehead before rushing back to the counter.

With a bag of tiger rolls in hand you left, Ahk continuing to pull you along just as before. This time he did take you down the spiral, and as you passed each stall, you realized it was a conglomeration of different cultures; an amalgamation of the western world. Art from Mali caught your eye. You had gone through there a few times, and the style of their statues had always intrigued you.

The Pharaoh noted your interest, and paused to take you there. He let you decide what you wanted, payed for it in full, and complimented your taste.

"You have a good eye," he had said, "for the divine."

"The divine?" you repeated, looking down at the statue. The form of a plush woman lay in your hands, smooth stone showcasing wide hips, large breasts, and a tiny head.

"A woman, a mortal who creates life, is as close to Gods as we will ever be," he said, looking over your shoulder to scan the figure as well.

The crowd had yet to notice the golden fabric of a Pharaoh, but the singular citizens who did notice were shellshocked, and hadn't the right mind to react at all. Dumbfoundedness gave way the closer you got to the center of the market, and by the time the black pyre casted you entirely in shadow, people were bowing at the King's feet, murmuring astounded praise as he passed by.

You looked up to gauge Ahk's mindset, finding something that terrified you  more than it should have; he was smiling. Self-satisfied, pride puffing out his chest, silently declaring their praise to be a necessity.

A man intoxicated by his own fumes is dangerous––you knew that all too well, and fear began to seep back into your image of him, sending mold that tore down your irritation and replaced it with nauseous anxiety. His hand holding yours was now an anchor that sank you into a bottomless sea, instead of the earlier annoyance.

The combination of your own growing panic and the increasingly loud and desperate voices of the crowd sent you into overdrive. Hands reached up from bowed heads to touch the face of Ahkmenrah, to feel his grace and holiness overtake their bodies. Prayers surrounded you, and with the Pharaoh preoccupied, you fell to the ground and crawled out of the mass of the black land's people.

Once free from the writhing confines, you left the market sniffling, headed for somewhere lonelier. You hated to rely on others to heal you, but for a moment you longed for Haji. He had been kind to you. He would understand. Ahkmenrah didn't, and he never would––you swore this to yourself, your back sliding down the graffitied wall of someone's home.

Hiding your face in your hands, you pressed your knees to your chest, and curled up tight. No one would bother you; you looked like a homeless person, after all.

"Amoke?" Came a soft voice from above you.

You didn't move.

"Let's get home," Ahk murmured, his hands slowly moving up your arms till he gracefully pulled you to your feet.

Your eyes, once hidden and blurred, now opened to the grey light of today.

Ahk had no clothes on.

That was the first thing you noticed. The second thing you noticed was that he was smiling apologetically at you, nervous tics appearing as he chewed on his lip.

"Why are you naked?" You asked in a pathetically weak voice.

"Well, um... it was a little hard to leave the crowd, so I removed all my identifiers. They'll probably steal my clothes, so, um.. hopefully Naguib packed my other nice outfit," he said, beginning the walk back home. You followed quickly behind, still going over his bare skin.

"You could've left your underwear on, you know," you said.

"Oh." He paused. "The thought hadn't occurred to me."

You chuckled weakly, half-hearted as you trudged up the little hill. By the time you reached the doors of the tiny palace, the silence had stretched uncomfortably between you, and you were eager to hide away.

Ahk pulled the door open for you and said, "I'm sorry, by the way," before following after you and shutting the door behind him. The click of metal echoed in the empty, marble house, bouncing off the bare walls.

"For what?" You asked, unable to face him as your voice cracked.

"Bringing you to the market while I'm all dressed up. I knew I would get a lot of attention, but I didn't know how it would affect you," he said as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your head into his chest to hug you.

For a moment you were comforted, until you very abruptly realized that he was still naked. At that point you wriggled out of his grasp, though your plan backfired a little, as the moment you drew away your eyes scanned the entirety of him, from his feet to his head, and he ardently noticed your interest. Your panic had absorbed you so entirely that you hardly felt your cheeks burning with a bright red blush.

"I'll... go put some clothes on," he said with a smile, shaking his head.

He left you alone in the big, empty drawing room, occupied by a vacant kitchen on the far side of the house, and three bags of luggage laid haphazardly in the middle. Your steps that took you deeper into the walls echoed around you, causing you to move slow and careful.

Eventually you explored the whole of the room, finding a small door to the right of the entrance, one that led into a long pathway. The chill wind snuck through the thick hedges as you padded down the stone walkway, lines of sand between the rocks sticking to the bottom of your feet. Through the thin walls, you glimpsed a sliver of a garden, the sight of a white fountain bringing the sound of rushing water to you.

The fountain, alabaster centerpiece of the small garden, flowed with crystal clear water that pooled on the ground in such depth that lilies had sprouted from the bottom. Green pads floated on the cool water, and the blue lotus flowers were all closed up in the sun's absence. The trail that had led you there continued within it, circling the fountain, and ultimately leading to a small, sandstone gazebo.

You sat on the gazebo's step, elbow on your knee as you leaned your cheek on the palm of your hand. Here the wind was not as harsh, only occasionally brushing against your hair, though the cold had yet to cease. It was a good explanation for the silent garden, barren of animal life. No, this was a haven of silence, of loneliness, and of plants. Beautiful, quiet plants.

As many things as there were on your mind, there was nothing truly in your head. Abstract ideas and emotions relating to your position, to your relationship with Ahkmenrah, to the tired nerves burnt out from your earlier panic.

"It's a bit cold," Ahk murmured in his low voice, placing a blanket over your hunched shoulders.

You whirled around to see Ahkmenrah standing above you, fully clothed. With a slight huff he sat down beside you, settling onto the hard step, his thigh pressed to yours.

"I hate my life," you mumbled, falling and landing on Ahk. You could feel the way he tensed, how his breath caught in his throat at the given contact.

"I  –"

"And it's all your fault," you said, face still hidden in his shoulder.

"... I know."

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost. 

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along. 

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was. 

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder. 

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3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation. 

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it  was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects. 

13: Thats exactly what they did. 

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay. 

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos. 

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you? 

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat. 

------

3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked. 

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly. 

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess. 

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

[stuff-i-like-to-share]

Fanfics i would Love to read but not talented enough to write them myself...

.... fanfics... or even better if that was actual scenes in season 4!

1. Gilbert seating on the train writing a draft of his letter to Anne, getting emotional, passionate not noticing old lad seating next to him with his wife looking at eachother smiling at young love. Telling him a short story of their love and how they have been separated and how they would suprise eachother by visiting every now and then.

2. Anne talking to Diana and deciding not to tell anyone about her and Gilbert before she actually speak with him... which later on will pay of in girls faces when they see them kissing lol

3. Anne receiving her first letter from Gilbert and being over the moon, sending her own letter straight away and meeting young intelligent boy at the post office which turnes out is at queens aswel.

4. Gilbert and Anne meeting new people, having their lessons and studies and writing little notes to add their letters, collecting little flowers, making it very personal.

5. Gilbert being jealous over this new boy which Anne mentioned in 3 letters already. Doing extra work to finish his studies few days earlier to travel to Charlottetown and see Anne.

6. All girls seating outside, learning, talking romance, Anne and Diana giving eachother side looks because nobody knows about Gilbert yet... Anne getting very emotional she havent seen Gilbert in 2months while Ruby talking about daily walks with Moody.. her eyes tear up, girls are like ohh r you ok Anne when one of them look up from their blanket and bw like: oh, Gilbert whatever you doing here...

Anne jumped up straight into his arms, he swings her around in a massive hug, then they about to kiss, tios of their lips about to touch when Diananotice Girls faces and goes like: uhmm

Gilbert and Anne look at all the suprised girls, get a bit shy, Gilbert let's Anne out of his tight hug and they stand there looking at eachother for short while, Gilbert is like: ladies... if you dont mind I would like to steal Anne for a... looks at Anne not knowing what to say, but she finish his sentence for him: tea! There's certain matters we need to discuss with Gil... with Mr. Blythe... she says while looking at Gilbert's dreamy eyes... Girls being so confused and shocked by whole situation just nods while they walk out through back gate.

7. The moment they are away enough from girls and the boarding house Gilbert swing Anne in the air again with the cutest smile, she laughs, then they step to the side of little quiet road and he kiss like theres no tomorrow...

Talk about their studies... then walk past tea house and Gilbert is like, oh we are here and Anne look at him with a cheeky smile... shes like oh we are not really going to have a tea are we.. its dull and full of boring people.. Gilbert laughs at memory of being awkward with Winfred at one of them tea houses.

Anne takes Gilbert to one of her favourite parks, they walk by the water.. theres a small patch of grass surrounded by trees, Sun sneaking through the branches, they are finally alone and kissing and cuddling... they sat on the grass talking, laughing, simply staring into eachothers eyes... they lie down cloud gazing playing with each hands, hair...

8. Gilbert walking Anne back to her house, talking about leaving to Avonlea and telling everyone, both but stressed about their families reaction... they stop by the gate to avoid Anne getting kn trouble, hold eachothers hands. Gilbert's is like: so... we are... courting? Its official! Anne gives him a shy smile: I still cant belive it... Gilbert gives her a soft kiss and tells her he will come and see her at queens next day so the can travel together back to Avonlea.

9. Anne back to her room where she is immediately flooded by questions from all the girls... You kissed him, he kissed you in public, oh that's nothing like Gilbert we knows.. Anne stands there waiting for them to calm down and simply just say: I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe for a while now, and what I recently been informed about, hes been (she srops realising he never actually said he loves her...) ... having feeling for me aswel, for a while... we will be seeing our families tomorrow as we are offering courting.. girls get all hyped, asking questions if hes a good kisser Ruby throws a little comment that she actually always was confused when she thought hes looking at her but it was more like he was staring at Anne and that shes happy for her...

(Sorry... long list... I didint realised km so needy and desperate for fanfics 🙈)

10. All Anne can think if at school is fact that she is going to see Gilbert very soon and they will travel together back home...

She bumped into her friend, Roy which btw also have feeling for her and jokingly often admits he thinks Anne's is the most beautiful girl at queens etc... which Anne is ignoring as all she thinks of Gilbert and studies.

They walk out of school together, Roy lean and whisper somwthkng into Anne's ear, she laughs and notice Gilbert, wave at him, theyvwalk towards eachother. Gilbert's jaw is pulsing, hes jealous. Anne introduces them to each other and Gilbert have a little flashback to when he was introducing Winnie to Anne and disint know how to refer to Winfred, Anne did almost the same thing as it's actually first time she have to introduce Gilbert as her bou. Boys shake their hands bit stronger than they should, Anne says goodbye to Roy and her friends, Gilbert then offers her his arm to hold on to while looking at Roy standing and watching them walk away.

11. Gilbert is bit confused and worried, he isnt talking much on the way back, Anne is so excited shes doing most of the talking.. she noticed Gilbert acting wierd and asks, he then have tiny emotional tantrum and tells her he doesnt like the way this Roy guy is into her... she laughs and tells him theres nothing there, beside the only person she cares about... she ... loves its Gilbert.. he smiles, hold her hand... she then get a bit worried because its been 3 times when she said it out loud she loves him and Gilbert didint say it back.

12. They decided to invite Gilbert's family for dinner to Green Gables and then tell them together so when they get out of the train and see Matthew they being careful not to look to excited. Matthew offer Gilbert a ride back home and noticed little looks between Anne and Gilbert.

13. The dinner ready, Gilbert, Bash and Deli arrives at Green Gables, all the way Bash was giving Gilbert side looks with a cheeky smile and asking what so important they have to go to dinner tonight and not some other day... Gilbert just smiles and says its was Anne's idea on their way back from train station.. Marila opens the door calling for Matthew and Anne..

Anne come downstairs, Gilbert gets up with the most hearty eyes, theyblook at eachother for a while, and everyone e in the room glance at Anne then Gilbert, Marila and Bash look at eachother with a smile, Matthew looks a little bit concerned...

14. Anne stand in the middle of the room, Gilbert walks to her with a smile, turn around and stand by her side, they look at each other with a shy smile, he then pick up Anne's hand and while holding it dearly in his both hands he say something like: Marila, Matthew, Sebastian... Delphine (with a little smile as she giggle at he uncle)

We have some news, I mean... I would like to ask your permission first, ofcourse... uhmm

I would like to ask your permission to court with Anne... uhm... we recently discovered we both... have feelings for eachother... (Anne give him a concerned side look as again he wont say he loves her)

I needs to know if you Marila and Mathew gives us your... blessing..

They look at each other, Marila stands up, walked to them, hold their hands with tears in her eyes saying that shes so happy for them and their happiness and love is what matters... Bash alsongwts up and hug Gilbert with biggest smile saying he knew it and that he is so happy for them.. Anne then looks at Matthew which looks a bit sad.. gilbert then says: Matthew?

And hes like: if Anne's happy I am aswel, gets up and shakes Gilbert's hand, Anne hugs him.

15. They all seating alntalking, laughingnover the dinner table, Anne playing with Deli and Gilbert joining her, Matthew and Marila getting emotional as this is another big step towards losing their precious Anne.

16. Bash joking around, quietly saying to Marila about them behaving like perfect parents. Matthew then walking out but emotional.. Both Anne and Gilbert looking at eachother, Anne wanted Ringo but Gilbert telling her to stay and walking out behind Matthew. Then having a heartwarming conversation, telling Matthew how much he cares for Anne.

17. Anne kissing Gilbert goodbye and Bash seeing it, making comments about it on their way back home.

18. Anne and Gilbert going for walk... Gilbert being cheeky and keep touching Anne's hands, hair, face... talking about feeling when Anne suddenly tear up and tells him she wants to go back home, take a turn thru the woods, Gilbert all confused ran after her asking what's wrong, She then have a little go at him that shes scared he dowsnt really love her because it's been months and he never actually said he loves her... he then loom into her eyes, hold her face in his hands and tells her: I am in love with you Anne, my Anne with an e, I'm in love with you since i remember, it's always been you Anne...

He kiss her then and after the kiss shes all like: but why dont you say it..

He looked at her with sad eyes: I'm afraid of losing you Anne, most of people I ever loved are gone... I cant lose you Anne, I... love you to much, it hurts just thinking about losing you...

He seats on fallen tree, tell her a story of his mothers death while giving him birth, of his brothers dieing one after another to illness... then his father.. and dear Mary... he opens up and cry while she listens and hold his hand.

She then tells him how much sorry she is for being selfish and forcing him to say it, but he wont mind as it's been a while since he could open up like this and it feels so right to talk to his Anne.

They hug and talk about how Mary would be happy for them, Anne recalls his father and fact he said he herd alot about her and Gilbert getting all shy saying he told him alot abt Anne because even then he would not stop caring about her, back then he wasnt sure what it was, it was pulling him towards Anne, only recently he realised it's always been love...

Then they say it together and laugh...

19. As they are walking out of the forest Anne tripped and fall into a ditch, Gilbert laughs recalling the day Marila was talking about Anne in the ditch, asking her if that's how her adventures looks like and as shes a bit upset with him at first she also laughs saying he is her biggest adventure now...

20. Then as he helps her out, they stand and laughs, he gives her a soft kiss, Rachel Lynde watches it from nearby as she was just walking back from ms. Stacy's...

All shocked she rushed to Green Gables to talk to Marila... Markla gives he a little talk about being young and in love and maybe if she would listen to her heart she would be married now... as they talk Anne and Gilbert walks into the kitchen laughing... they both look ar Rachel bit scared of her comments.. but she gaze at Marile for short while thinking, then she gets up, walkes to them and congratulate them with a little cheeky comment about kissing...

21. They are back to their schools, emotional and full of love goodbyes, girls sneakily watching them and giggling...

22. Series of letters, Roy finding one of Anne's letters she left in one of her books he borrowed... then making a declaration.. Anne feeling overwhelmed as she does like Roy alot and woildnt want to ruin their friendship... bit of an argument between Anne and Gilbert, Roy trying to kiss her and she slapping his face...

23. Christmas back in Avonlea, together one big happy family... Anne and Gilbert sneaking out at night to spend time together... kissing and rolling in the barn...

24. Anne having a flashback from orphanage and Gilbert asking what's wrong, atvfitstvshe doesn't want to tell him but one night they talk and she opens up and tells him everything, about being bullied and treated like trash... about her imagination helping her get trough... about how broken she always felt and never couldn't even imagine being loved, and having so many loving people in her life... she would tell him about how worried she was her parents have her away because they disint love her as she was an ugly redheaded baby... Gilbert then kisses her single messy braid and tells her how much he loves her red hair and how much he Hope's their children will have same hair as her.. she then freaks out a little because she never actually thought about children and the way Gilbert talks it sounds so natural for him... she then look at him with a smile: out babies?

And gilbert is like: oh gosh, I I didint meant to scare you... but.. dont you think about... our future Anne? Coz I do.. alot he admits with a bit shy face..

She then say she only imagine their future together but she never actually thought about children... he get a bit stressed but then she adds that now he mentioned it, she also is looking forward to having a child, maybe two... they laugh and joke about it a little ... Bash and Ms. Stacy get married which course outbreak but after several years of secretly meeting and falling more in love they decided to go against the system. She ends up losing her job as a teacher but she writes books and articles to newspapers instead while pregnant with their first child. She also moves in with Bash his mother and Deli as Gilbert told Bash that after school he wont be living with them anymore. Elijah moves out as he met lovely girl himself, got married and lives outside Charlottetown, visiting them often and always helping with the harvest.

25. New years eve, theres a ball, dancing, beautiful scenes of them having fun together... Gilbert taking Anne back to green Gables.. he turn towards the cliffs... they walk together to the cliffs end, stand there looking into stars, he then drop on his knee, holding a ring, a beautiful ring and ask her to marry him, which she obviously say yes to.

26. Time skip with a bit of letters between them and their lives at school etc... suprised visits and going back home..

Matthew having another heart attack, being bed stuck, Jerry rushing to get a doctor but it's to far and they wouldn't make it, Matthew dieing with Anne and Marila by his bed... Gilbert coming to Avonlea back from his practice next day, Bash tells him what happened,bhe rush to Green Gables and Fojnd Anne in awful state.. Jerry explain to him he went to fetch the doctor from other town but it was to late... he apologise to Anne for not being here, she tells him it's not his fault... but he feels responsible for not being close to his family... he decides to come back and be a town doctor after all his school and practice is finished...

28. Anne after getting approval from mrs lacroix (stacy) applied and got the job as a teacher in Avonlea school, helping Marila as shes still very unstable after losing Matthew.

29. Then beautiful wedding in Avonlea... Marila crying.. Anne missing Matthew dearly.. lots of memories, laughs and dancing...

30. When Anne got the job as a teacher she also got the house ms Stacy useto lived in, she decided to stay at green Gables until theh get married but she got the house already for them week before the wedding.

They get back home, to their very own home, Anne is so happy it's in the woods as she always felt special connection to nature...

They have wonderful night and sweet love making, both happy in eachothers arms, enjoying the rest of their life together...

Gilbert suggest to Anne that she could write a book same as ms Stacy which she starts very next day...

31. Another skip in time... Anne giving birth, Gilbert doing his best, baby is breached, hes scared of losing Anne, of losing them both. Marila is there aswel... Baby is finally born but it isnt crying... Gilbert pass the baby to Marila and take care of Anne... she walks out quickly to check on the baby as therws still not a single cry in the house, Anne is bleeding alot, but asking for her baby... he walked in to the kitchen Marila standing there crying, he take baby if her hands and wrap aswel, their very first baby, product of their undying love didint survive the labour... he hugged his child pressing him to his chest, kissed his head... he then walked back to Anne's room... Marilenherd loud moan and deep desperate cry, shes crying herself... Gilbert asked if Anne wants to say her goodbyes. She said yes and hold her baby in her arms crying... they gold a little funeral two days after... Anne is devastated... her and Gilbert having a breakdown together crying...

32. Two years later Gilbert find himself worrying for his wife's life once agin... it was hard for them to decide tontryvfor another baby... Anne wanted it and now Gilbert is scared to death about his Anne and baby to come. Luckily this time everything went smoothly with mo single complication, baby cries and they both hold it together crying of happiness.

Then years later Anne writing another book, while their children are playing together outside of green Gables... Marilas dying wish was for Anne ro have Green Gables, it was her home and she wanted Anne and her family to live happy life in there...

Gilbert is backnfeom work, they seat on the porch, drinking tea, looking at eachother with hearty eyes, talking about their achievements kids keep running up to them, hugging and kissing them. They smile, stand up watching their 6 children being cheeky.

I love you Carrots...

I love you to Gil...

Then they kiss with even more passion than ever...

The end...

Gosh that possibly the longest post I ever wrote... when I started I had only abt 15 ideas... but as I wrote more and more... even more ideas came to my head... sorry for a long bit messy read... just wanted to share some of things that kept me awake since we found out about s4 being cancelled...

Anyway.... hope you enjoyed it... sorry for any mistakes... will proofread tomorrows as today its been a while since I started writing this...

[neptunesnxpple]

Shigaraki x m!Reader, meeting for the first time to see a scary movie

He had no idea that they even made people that short, let alone a guy. Granted, you had been playing match ups online for a couple of months now, you had warned him you were a bit shorter than the average guy, but he didnt expect that much of a difference. He was average height for gods sake, the top of your head couldnt have gone much higher than his collarbone.

He had agreed to a movie, rather excitedly although he wouldnt admit it. When you asked over instant messenger he threw his phone across the room, covering his face and picking at his skin. Kurogiri gave him a questioning look, eventually coaxing him into messaging you back. It was a horror movie. Some american film with subtitles. When he showed up, there you were, idly waiting on your phone. It was a matinee on a tuesday. Low traffic. It couldnt have been anyone else, and you looked just like you had in the pictures. Except shorter. You looked up from your phone as he approached, smiling nervously.

"Hey-"

"-Hi"

You both said at nearly the same time, your face burning red and sweat pooling at the spot where your hoodie met your neck, Shigarakis face heated up, looking panicked. Not wanting to relish this awkward moment for much longer, you anxiously pushed the conversation forward,

"It's nice to finally meet you, I know we havent known eachother that long but what are the odds that we both play X and live in the same area?" Your smile was both one of nervousness and trying to create comfort in the situation. It worked a little, watching his hand drop from his neck to his side.

"Yeah, you're um," you expected him to make a crude comment, it was kind of a thing where you'd razz eachother in a way that was borderline flirting. At least you thought so. He swallowed, remembering the crash course in manners he got from Kurogiri the night before. He'd hardly slept, up all night looking for first date tips. Not like this had to be a date. He pressed his lips into a line before continuing, "you look... nice"

You snorted, looking away and shrinking into your sweatshirt a bit more. This was not the Shigaraki you had prepared for.

"Yeah, uh, whatever. You look.. nice too. Wanna go into the theater?" You motioned, desperate to be in the dark where there was less of a requirement to make engaging conversation. He nodded, and the two of you were on your way. You couldnt help but notice how closely he moved, looming overhead. You were quiet during the commercials in the beginning, although strangely at ease, tension in your shoulders loosening as you sat back in your seat. In the dark there was no need to perform. The two of you could just be. You hummed softly, waiting for the movie to begin. And so it did.

Now you were a horror fan. You liked scary movies, but that didn't necessarily mean you were good at watching them. You jumped as a dog barked abruptly on the screen, hand lurching out and grabbing Shigarakis' sleeve. Your focus pulled away from the screen when you heard him laughing. You shot him an annoyed look.

"Nothing scary even happened yet," he whispered. You glared, letting go of the fabric and crossing your arms in mock annoyance as you rolled your eyes. But the corners of your mouth betrayed you, his amusement bringing a bit of fascination to your own situation. You were much braver for the rest of the introduction, your hand gripping the arm rest between you as the atmosphere got more deadly. The main characters were in the pits of the movie now, once the first on screen death occured your eyes were glued to the screen and your fingers clutched the plastic divider so tightly that Shigaraki swore you'd leave indents. You jumped violently as his voice started, whispering in your ear,

"You can hold onto me if it gets too scary," he offered. You didn't need to be told twice, arm hooking around his and reaching upward as your fingers gathered the fabric of his sweatshirt between each digit. You shut your eyes during the scenes where there was too much blood, unaware of the way Shigarakis' eyes studied your hands. Small, but proportional. His own hand slowly made its way up, hovering over your own but not quite touching. He only loosely paid attention to the movie, enough to know there was a vicious massacre but not enough to read the subtitles and follow the plot.

Unfortunately for him, the movie ended before he worked up the nerve to touch such endearing hands, the ones that had held him, desperate for some grounding during your time of need. But he had all the time to memorize the way the skin on your knuckles tightened, the tendons flexing taut beneath your skin. It left him breathless, but he didn't tell you that.

No, instead he chose to tease you as the lights turned on gradually, your hair somehow messier than it was before you entered the theater. He clicked it away, saving this moment for later.

"Wow that was a lot scarier than I was expecting," you said, voice still familiar enough, deep, but notably higher than it was out in the lobby.

"I'm surprised you even noticed, your eyes were shut for half of the movie," he chastised, standing and moving slowly to follow your speed. He'd spend as much time here as you'd allow him, he decided. You gave a playful shove to his shoulder.

"Hey, it wasn't half of the movie! Maybe more like, a quarter if that," you muttered, checking the time. You had work later in the afternoon. You stood outside, the winter sky tired from heaving the sun up all day and already the last twinklings of light lapped at the horizon. You opened your mouth to start your goodbyes but before you could, Shigaraki beat you to it,

"Which station are you heading to? I'll walk you there."

[spikedfanta]

organizations and people

suresh kumar

yashas shetty

whofeedsblr

rewilding

5) suresh kumar farm - re-wilding - indian english garden, chakota, etc. //

experience ((the wild garden ))

today, i've been thinking about the internet and all its knowledge systems - there is much that the internet doesn't contain. it does not contain so many stories, the ability to generate respect and mindfulness for one's surroundings, to help one better be in touch with reality -- but at the same time it can connect one to others trying to do the same.

The raintree - I never knew how dividied people were about it.

those blogspot blogs - so many people had/have one. and the articles still pop up now when you look for hyper niche information - particularly during this project, when i look for information on places - flora and fauna - and general nature, food, and life related information on bangalore! a blog that someone started out of their own interest to share a part of their lives - carve out their own space on the internet. and it differs from instagram, or facebook - it really does. while super useful for sharing what youre up to - you dont really get to sit and share long form content about your life. and i wonder if that has reduced ones capacity to then read about these happenings in someone elses life. it's only now, when so much of the information i am looking for (related to experiencing places in and around bangalore - treks, markets, spaces of nature, etc. + food + flora and fauna, lakes, edible weeds + bangalore nostalgia) happens to be on blogs. an unofficial networked document of the city that is coming together with google searches. the way we gather information on the internet, so disparate yet all coming together - which is why a resource bank for the project is important.

we learn on the internet by gathering all this information from all over - sources from youtube videos to blogs to even comments (which can be very useful!) to forums and niche old websites.. and they become a psychogeography of place on the internet. we then synthesize it together to create our own understanding which we can then share, i think. and it all has such a personality...

i think this research combined with actively going out of my way to engage with people in the real world is really building a sort of image in my head. i think what i am trying to do is express that image in a project, and using all these tools from people abroad etc etc to express it in a very bioregional local way - a sort of 'back to the land' for the internet. it's astounding to see the amount of videos for things like making henna or flower garlanding or gardening -- anything you want to learn, and there is a video. it wasnt always this way wasnt it? i remember that there were so many western videos you had to shuffle through. at any rate, one part of the project is documenting my creations and what im learning in a bioregional way -- by creating a sort of alter ego and making an internet personality/blogger type.

what kind of personality can i give my alter ego? she'll be allowed to say and do a lot more than i can, i think. but she still lives in my body and experiences what i experience. she is a curious scientist of the world - she is the child forever in me. she picks up things and runs with them. she is playful and mindful.

speaking of mindful, i am back in bellandur and i havent been doing much sense mapping. i havent done much sense mapping at all. im not sure what im scared of... well, im going to hear the birds and smell the dust and feel the dust and hear the construction and taste the rose apple see the kind of boxy room i live in, in an apartment .. where all the noises echo louder and loom off further into the distance.. as well as make their way here. what is the difference from yelahanka, with the trees? covering me with their canopies? what about suresh's farm - further from the hubbubububub.

symbols.. hmm.. the home garden tulsi. a tincture or tonic water. a weed popping out of a pavement. two birds playing. construction sounds. far off construction red light. dust. colours... faded blue, grey, white, green, red. crushing. the act of it. the sound. the sound of simmering. the sound of ticking and an oven. chopping. plucking. leaves rustling. crushing in your fingers and smelling.

scent of tulsi and basil as i rub it and it makes me less anxious and less nauseous and very calm and minty. henna and its bittery herbal smell. the tonic waters.. sweet basil, a bit anise like. and lemon, no citrus just sweet lime leaf. malabar spinach and a stain like blood. royal purple blood. the sweet pannir of a rose apple,, a delicate. treat. what if i added rose petal? rose water? a gingery affair, spicy.. floating suspended in water. a bug. i like how they call it that. how long till it comes alive? lemon and fenugreek and black tea in henna - the goopy mixture, ready to go on my hair. soapy - the leaves. clay like - the powder. visually.. the leaves go sop and lose their green on so much boiling. on pounding. the malabar spinach goes POP. there are greens and a pumpkin. visually, i feel satisfied by the rainbow today. purple malabar. indigo.. uh.. i suppose the malabar satisfiesx that. green.. the tulsi, the aloe, thee lemongrass, the basil, the ajwain, the betel leaf.. the spinach greens.. the henna. wow. a lot of green. taste.. well all of it tasted nice. chewing a tulsi and betel leaf. yum. yellow.. lemon and panir. orange hmm. papaya? carrot. red.. hibiscus. a curry leaf.

well, anyway. i got a lot out of my head today. i shall have to spend some time organziing and planning tomorrow. i am a in a little bit of a 'do mode' flow. tomorrow morning, i will wake up by 7.. meditate. hear birds. sense check in. go for a walk to soul kere lake. sense map/check. come back. drink herbal tea. plan - covid test, things to buy and do today, places nearby to go (if any) - make a trip outside (wrap up by 12 hopefully)

lab work today -- hopefully 12-4 and later at night, with time for research (new media, blogs, projects related to tools, etc.) and some checkin in - sense journaling, symbolism, relfection, artistic expression. evening. we henna.

documentation of research for these recipes! going through comments, that only comment from soemwhere who has the same question as yours.. bringing that back to my regional level and answering it here.

at an experience leve.. suresh kumar. i am astounded by someone like him, and i wonder if i can ever be someone like that. i feel like such a privileged city girl around him, in awe of everything, dumb and stupid. but this is not true right? idk. he is a very cool man and i love how friendly he is which is required to work at such a community level. how can i imbibe that level of community gathering and effort? it is by dedication to your work but also a level of genuine respect for everyone around you. i wager that i dont have that respect? for myself? maybe? i dont know. no, and for others either. because there is competition - what is it he said. i gained my confidence through my work. there is no other way. holy shit. there is no other way. i must gain my confidence through my work. just do a lot of it. and be as open and genuine as i can to others. work on EneErgIes. no? somewhere, i know there is something that drives me to do things. and even if it might be 'shit'.. i think i have a vision, perhaps.

there are things to plan.. tomorrow, i will spend an hour just 'starting'. i suppose. blog posts be damned. i suppose as the idea comes, make a tumblr draft and let it sit with a quick note and memory. tomorrow is also a making day. so is saturday. saturday evening i plan the next week, and finish what i 'started'. and sunday i make teasers with whatever content i have right now. no time to build new content. just enough for swati and co to get a gist of what im about. and dont share everything. keep a few teases.

think i really want to do a clay texture map tomorrow. and also work on the animation. and childhood. and topography. Oh! spring equinox celebration meal as well. and chill climate weather bengal oo roo. and nostalgia mapping. def some mapping. animist... POV.. herbalism and energy and nature of plants. the ability to stain. to scent. to taste. my experience of the plant.. and what is the plant experience of me? to crush and chew and nibble. but my reality isnt a plants reality. i dont know if it 'hurts'. it exists differently. it exists. i exist.

i want some jasmine flowers definitely to make some jasmine hydrosol..

need to read some diance ackerman, and some animism / that camden art festival thing before i sleep. some

todays kitchen mapped out

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 3 | “It does not look good for our tribe. Honestly, we suck... Really bad. ” - Duncan

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Wow we’re really flopping this challenge huh! I really hate this as a group challenge bc we wasted so much time believing in an algorithm that doesn’t even work! 

okay so i again filmed a video confessional while walking the dog which i WILL eventually upload i promise hosts BUT. this challenge was literally torture, staring at the excel spreadsheet was so draining. TJ did so much work for it so I really really hope we win he is so sweet i was real mean to him at the start for truly no reason NNN i really really want the beauty tribe to go to to tribal, or the brains lot again i guess? i dont really wanna go to tribal even though i think Liam M is the easy vote? i'd rather not. i just feel really drained after that challenge i wish this confessional was even a little bit exciting im sorry hosts

i feel like i underappreciated dan as an ally?! the more i talk to him its like hmmm we vibe and we have similar energy? like i get very different but good energies from all of dan, jake and jordan! which i love, like i feel really good about them all. like what's reassuring about dan (and this sounds weird) is he feels fine complaining about others to me in pms? like jake does the same and that makes me feel really reassured trust wise - like i would never talk negatively about another player to someone i distrusted tbh... so i feel really good about that! i feel like particularly in a maybe swap i'll really bond with whoever i get to swap with even MORE. idk i just feel good about this brawn tribe still i don't want to GOOO.

okay so yesterday was... eventful! i watched the sequester mini with jake which was super fun and then right after... he cracked the tomb and i decided to tell jake about my idol. have i had it since day two? yes. but i told him i found it during the mini so i wouldnt seem sus. i dont regret my decision (so far at least anyway JKASD) because a) he cracked the tomb and immediately told me b) i think he is loyal and particularly since i told him i can and will idol him like i dont think he has incentive to leak my idol unless it comes down to lategame and he wants to blindside me but i don't see myself being able to hold onto the idol until that stage anyway! but yeah so jake knows about my idol so i'm hoping i can use it to my benefit, or to save him because i'm really invested in his success this season. maybe we are gonna be the two brawns at the end woo and tony style even tho i think i'm probs the woo nnnnn

Trace went home and that is yet another potential connection I could’ve had in the game GONE… like the Brains really wanna see me flop huh! It’s interesting that it was 4-2 vote tho like it has my overthinking self spiraling lowkey. I do really feel for the Brains having to lose twice though like I’ve been on a flop tribe before and morale is always low so my heart goes out to them and I hope they beat Brawn xoxo 

This challenge? Literal homophobia! Like I love unscrambled eggs and I want my eggs cracked by VARIOUS men but this was not what I had in mind (‘: this challenge being my alliance + AJ is interesting as well considering that AJ was the one person I haven’t established a game connection with but I do really like him. In a way, I do think him participating in this challenge is the best thing that could’ve happened to his game since it allows him to build more connections with others? That being said, Connor on the other hand… is disappointing me in a way like the king isn’t talking much or doing much. If he has personal stuff to attend to, I completely get it and he should focus on that first but I do wanna know so I don’t assume he disappeared yknow (‘: but oh well !!!

I do think me honing in on the fact that Kendall and I are two peas in a pod in this game has her really thinking that which is awesome! I do adore that girl but I gotta keep an eye out (for Selener). She did tell me that her goals this round include the following 1) Set up an alliance with us + Austin, 2) Get AJ to be our alliance’s fake 5th, and 3) Get out Adam. While I am glad she told me all of this, I’m just very cautious of her connections? Austin and I are super close and he likes her, that’s fine. My thing is with AJ because while we were calling, I did pick up on the fact that those two have played before and whatnot so who knows. I’m just a naturally stressed person so ye !!! I do really like Adam though so I hope we don’t lose at all (‘:

I hate myself for being on a call for 9 hours in this game ghjfkdls but that being said, I do genuinely love everyone on this tribe and the thought of losing makes me super emo because I feel close to every person here in one way or another. It’s a dilemma too because us winning this challenge would be ideal but if we do win and Brawn goes to tribal, the Beauty Tribe becomes public enemy number one in a swap scenario because why wouldn’t the other tribes wanna get rid of the tribe that has the most members yknow? It’s a nail-biter regardless ;-; 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fpSJvDJxy38LcRI4MjwzIa64zT_tytXC/view?usp=sharing

So I'm not surprised that we lost AGAIN! Lowkey I feel like I did everything during this challenge so not only do I feel more defeated, but I'm annoyed that not too many people contributed. Like I have to constantly ask people how they're doing in the challenge, and they provide me with NOTHING!! And I'm tired of voting people out :/ Anyways, I feel like voting out Isaac is a dumb move for my game going forward, because Duncan/Autumn are clearly a duo. Duncan even said to me that he wouldn't mind voting out Devon if we needed too. If we don't swap next round and lose again, I have the feeling Duncan and Autumn are going to try and pit Devon and I against each other. I like to think they'd choose me over Devon since I don't have any connections to anyone. The smart move would be for them to utilize Isaac and blindside me, but I like to think they wouldn't be doing that anytime soon. I feel bad voting out Isaac because I know how much he hated being booted early in Malaysia. So to do that to him again is really sad to me. I would try to convince Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan, but he's all about the 4 going forward. Everyone is and as much as I love the 4, that type of game is boring. Idk maybe my style of gameplay is different than theirs. If I see that I'm in a sinking ship, I make sure to grab a life vest and swim to another boat. I don't sit on the boat and say "okay, time to drown now". Luckily none of them know me for the numerous times that I've flipped on alliances before. If we do swap next round, my plan is to remain loyal to whichever brain is on my tribe. However, this won't stop me from trying to make connections with people from other tribes and making new alliances. If I need to ditch my brains to solidify trust with my new tribe, then that is exactly what I am going to do. In the event that I do leave tomorrow, this game was fun! After being out of the tumblr survivor community for 3 years, I don't think I'd come back for a future org/season because the amount of stress i've been in this past week is more than I've endured with online learning since corona came to town. Idk I wouldn't be surprised if a #blindside came my way.

it's only day 7 and we havent even been to tribal yet and we STILL arent going because we won again, and im already going off the deep end like am i crackedt?? what the hell is happening on this tribe like am i the quiet one or is there just a collective quiet going on since we're just sliding through the game rn?? im not gonna lie it's kinda boring... it's getting weird.....the fact that there's an idol just looming around and someone has it and isnt telling me is making me crazy, and then to make me even more crazy i foolishly decided to sit out of the challenge today, i knew i probably wasnt gonna be good at anything with the letters all jumbled together, im just being real so i decide to spare my tribe and myself mostly the misery and sit out, i dont want to be perceived as weak completely and be voted off right now for it, but i do want to start to make sure people think im not that good at the challenges so i dont have a target going foward- also, im really just not good at the challenges. BUT apparently everyone was just like on a call together all day because of the challenge and obviously i couldnt be in it so :// my own fault! i didnt think it through completely and luckily we won, but if we hadnt, i mean... a day long on/off call is more than enough to bond over and pick a first boot from those not in it, but aj updated me on everything and at least according to him, my name wasnt mentioned and they were mostly working on the challenge and discussing white men, so that means i didnt miss much! im still working day by day on trying to water my relationships with everyone and make sure theyre ready to bloom into my little alliances once its had enough time to absorb all the sunshine i naturally radiate!! However.... others arent doing the same gorl.... like connor, literally messaged me out of the blue just to have a conversation and when i tried talking to him he stops messaging me right away ... like hello is it something i said?? i literally feel like parvati when she was going is it me?? am i being punkd??? also tried talking to kendall again today, i do enjoy her i will say she's growing on me but as of now she hasnt responded to me yet, which is ok since i never respond to anyone either oop hopefully its just not everyone vs. adam already in other news i guess a swap could be coming?? i really just dont want to be on a tribe with jakey because im not ready to dig up the hatchet from cvc lets keep it buried please!! unless he's completely forgotten that and wants to work with me and be my shield again but um... dont think he'd be up for that! im here to play a NEW game not my old one, in any case, no matter what happens i feel like as long as i have any of my fellow A name sisters- AJ, Augusto, or Amir with me, i could possibly be fine... i dont think Amir was really playing me anymore either like i did yesterday smh i think that was just a tangent of paranoia my mind created (maybe ..) 

I feel like we have to be swapping tonight like this brains tribe has lost so many challenges in a rwo, that ifit wasnt planned i feel like the hosts have to be like "put it in sis they movin" Im gonna spendthe rest of the of today working on my relationships with the rest of my brawny boys, so no if we do swap, on matter what configurations it lands on I should have options. Still dont know jac shit about the tomb and that is bothering me but thats a problem for another day.

Well, thank god that we were able to pull that challenge out. I knew if we lost it that my ass could potentially be on the line given how large of a role I played in organizing that challenge, so it would have been sad (and hella scary) to have lost that. But I do think I've shown that I can be a valuable asset to this tribe now in the event that we somehow stay in tribes for another round. I'm anticipating a tribe swap here this next round, so I kind of just need to prepare to meet some new people and hope that I'm on a tribe with some people that I've gotten along with. Ideally, I'd have Jake with me and we'd act as if we weren't that close, but I'd be happy to see basically anyone but Liam there with me. He's a great guy, but I know he doesn't trust me, I know I don't trust him, so I really don't want that to be my only lifeline on a swap tribe.

okay so in the event we swap out of the brawn tribe tonight... which would be TRAGIC i wanted to do an in memoriam of apis 1.0! TJ - i was SO rude and wrong about him! he is genuinely so sweet and lovely, and super hard working. i think he would be a good one to swap with, it would build our bond and he is a challenge workhorse! i hope he isn't mad at me for my round one confessionals, just know tj that i was WRONG and that i was the clown! Lovelis - I get really good energy from him but we also... never talk so idk where I'm getting that from? I think he is definitely going to be a casualty of the swap, I see him definitely getting picked of? Which would be sad! idk we will see Liam M - He is really sweet, but we also talk super infrequently? I feel like he trusts me which is good?! But I think he is definitely gonna go premerge unfortunately just since he isnt super active? we will see ahh Jordan - I really like Jordan i think he is great! we are working together but something about his energy has seemed... off recently? and jake has noticed the same thing and idk what to do with that it just seems off? idk i feel like we potentially are gonna drift apart as allies which would be a shame! Dan - I really love Dan, he has such good energy which I really vibe with him? I think I kind of underestimated his potential as an ally which I really regret I like him a lot tbh.. I'd like to build that trust further for sure, he just gives off such good ally energy Jake - ahh yes have left my favourite for last. ugh i love jake his energy is the best and i trust him 100% unequivocally. he knows about my idol (may've kept it a secret for two rounds but i told him eventually which is what counts jasldfkas) i want him to succeed in this game so badly, im really hopeful for him to SNAP also quickly about the brain tribal, i just hope isaac/autumn/duncan are safe. those are my only preseason connections and would kinda love to see any/all of them in a swap situation tbh i think i want that devon slithers man gone he seems sneaky (is it just because slithers sounds like a snake yes)

It’s been way too quiet around here so I’ve accepted that Duncan/Autumn/Devon/Isaac are all voting me out tonight. Devon keeps talking to me about the swap and really emphasizing about it, so I get sketch vibes from that. Plus that Duncan/Autumn duo is very strong so it makes sense for them to want to vote me out. Plus apparently Isaac is writing my name down tonight so... it’s been fun! I enjoyed my 7 days that I spent here and can’t wait for the perjury trip with Trace and Bodhi 🥳🥳🥳

Lowkey kinda bummed we won this challenge. Which probably raises a few death flags but whatever. I would have liked to put our alliance to the test before a swap :/. It also would have been neat to have the fucking idiot who voted with Trace as a spare vote, now they are definitely going to get fucked. Luckily the challenge provided some new optunity for alliances. For starters we can make a natural extra alliance with AJ without drawing conclusions to a mysterious third faction. Even though Connor did jack shit... I'm not bitter just... disappointed. :/

PERIODTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, WE WON HOES! Like I am incredibly shook that we won because I was ready to jump off of a ledge hgfjkdl so yay for that! The Brains lost and I really do feel for them but Brawn winning makes our numbers equal and the Brawns are more threatening overall so that should mean that Brains would want to work with us in a swap scenario yknow? I’m just shook I’m on the winning tribe ghjfdks

Now that we won, I SHOULD be chilling right? Well, I hate myself so I’m not doing that one bit. I am deathly afraid of a swap next round because the makings of a swap are all there (a flop tribe that needs a swap to save them, us being at 18 people is perfect for 3 tribes of 3, etc). I’m scared I will get swap fucked in some capacity so I’m just aaaa. That being said, I do want to make sure I leave on amazing terms with everyone before we swap in case I am separated from anyone or I join some of these legends on a new tribe. 

honestly, our tribe has been pretty much on a high. our most recent challenge seemed like something tailored for us to lose, and while i was nervous for a second, we were able to best the brains tribe and send them to tribal for the THIRD time. (i really thought they'd have that one in the bag!) i feel sorry for those nerds, they just can't catch a break :( but seriously, the challenge itself really opened doors of opportunity for me in the game i feel. me/kendall/amir/augusto were on call from 11AM est to the time challenge results went up.. and it was an experience. we all got along pretty well and put our braincells together to get through that challenge, but their company was what made it worthwhile! connor was also participating in the challenge, but he didn't really do anything. although i know he's been pretty busy lately so i'm not too bent about it and completely understand, just wish he said a little more in the chat other than the two messages he did! i think what i'm preparing for right now is the swap. i really wanna cement solid relationships and allegiances with the people on my tribe as we anticipate going into bigger tribes as of next round or the round after. i wouldn't mind just staying on this tribe, though. our dynamic is great, the people are great, and we're even better in competition. there's really not much of a loss there if you ask me! 

So in the past 24 hours I've worked my ass off to try to get Autumn and Devon to vote with me against Scott and/or Duncan and I'm not getting my hopes up. Like everything they've given me has been so vague and I've tried to go the extra mile to try to get Autumn and Devon to trust me. I think I'm going home tonight and if I do that's tragic but not exactly a #blindside. It might be my curtain call but I hope I at least made them doubt each other. 

Also #FuckThoth, Jess rigged me out

Me waiting for tribal to happen: https://66.media.tumblr.com/c327b3a59ef66f9835241d079c1fbe39/tumblr_n20f10EtZH1rkuhmio2_400.gif

Me if I make it out alive tonight: https://media1.tenor.com/images/664df9da1de6fb8913ff67b2ca8234e0/tenor.gif?itemid=16269462

 Me if I get voted out tonight: https://media.giphy.com/media/aUW1R5qccvQ3K/giphy.gif

I HATE IT HERE I WANNA GO HOME!!! I feel like the underpaid babysitter that the parents forgot about cause these boys are triiippppinng. I’m selling the vote so well to Isaac I actually wanted to vote Scott with him and I was going to but my damn alliance has him secondguessing and now everyone is all misty eyed about being split while Isaac is panicking so the solution is a CALL. Even though we call EVERYDAY so there ain’t shit to talk about??? Isaac has been blowing my pm’s up all day so no sir, no farewell calls. My emotional energy has been spent for the day lying for 6 hours straight thank you very much. Scuncan and Devon need to cut the melodrama out cause we have a whole game left?? So we will see each other again??? And if we don’t, we don’t. Also we could not get swapped tonight??? So simmer down. The Lord NEEDS to take me cause I can’t do it. Everyone needs their hand held and their feelings coddled and I’m tired. Less  kumbayah, more playing Survivor 

So we won again! I felt terrible in our challenge chat because I really couldn't get my head around the patterns and shit everyone else was doing, honestly hope they don't see general weakness in me because of it.. I'm good at like, everything else, but I dunno, this season's just not been looking favourably on me yet. After the flag incident and then that challenge, I feel like I probably am in the most danger, and I still don't know what to do about it except spam everyone all the time in hopes they feel some social tie to me... I hate it here I rly do. Hopefully we'll start to get more comps I can excel in because so far it's been flop after flop and I rly hate to see it.

Not AJ telling me that I am the person he is closest to on this tribe… I’m crying ugh, I feel so bad for wanting him to leave first like I didn’t get to know him well until recently but I really do like him… why was I blessed with these iconic people on my tribe? Game aside, I do like them all and want them to slay in life <3

I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

Okay I’m gonna say it, I love my alliance so much.I will not play with my heart and I’ll kill them if I have to but I really really really don’t want to, I obvi love my alliance with Augusto, Kendall, and Connor so much, but i will not play with my heart and ill backstab them if i have to but i really really dont want to. I would also like if adam austin and aj were safe. I really really like adam a lot. he is a fking sweetheart, and hes so funny. Austin is also great and super genuine and kind. i feel bad for calling him boring earlier, and aj is just funny and cool in general. the best case is we never have to go to tribal and i get to keep my inbred nocturnal intoxicated-at-all-times tribe members here. I am gonna need as many of these people in the game as possible for the swap and for the merge, and if we end up do having to go to tribal, I will do everything in my power to keep the tribe from getting divided, because we're gonna need each other to take down the brawn tribe.

I want to be tight with every single one of the beauties because a swap is likely coming and I need them, and the biggest issue rn I see moving foreward is if brawn and brain align, so we must snatch the brains first. every one keeps talking about being stumped about the tomb and I just keep lying DKNDKDNDD but I am lowkey scared they know I’m lying 

[s-nnyd]

hey. all of the qs from the ask meme that apply to you. have fun

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

oh boy well with my dad most certainly not theres a lot situations where its been made obvious that im not the son he wanted but he’ll still use me as an example to show to my lil bro and also like theres a lot of cockiness too and with my mom i love her and i know she loves and supports me but a lot of that is because im her daughter  and id say id have a decent relationship with my mom and i do love her

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

lmao it was you

03: Do you regret anything?

oooooooooooooooooo boi man i been thinking and like ive thought about if ive regretted ever being friends with angie and id like to say that i dont cause shes done a lot and shes given a lot to me whether it be good or bad and ive grown a lot from it and i think that if i completely erased that then i wouldnt be able to work through the things i have and like in other aspects i regret not saying “i think youre cute” to movie girl and knott’s info boy like my goodness they were both so damn cute and i really shoulda said something

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah i am

05: What is your relationship status?

single right now and i do want to eventually date someone and have that sort of closeness and that sort of relationship where i can feel at peace and rely on someone but i honest to goodness don’t think there’s anyone for me just yet and i don’t think im in a place really to be dating anyone cause i need to resolve things before i try to start something new

06: How do you want to die?

oh man duuude okay so when we read granny weatherall i legit like had a breakdown and i started panicking cause i started thinking about death all of a sudden and like there are situations where ive considered suicide and all but like there are also the times where it feels like its looming over me so much and like i get so so scared like im scared to walk down the pier at the beach at night because it so dark and the point where you look out onto the horizon and the horizon no longer exists and and its just a void and its so dark and like i think thats how i wanna die just im walking out on the pier at midnight and just im swallowed up because i think in the last moments i think i should just confront it

07: What did you last eat?

i had these hawaiian shortbread cookies that are so dang good like mmmmmmmmmmmm

08: Played any sports?

man i used to do tennis and swimming and i would love to go back to it

09: Do you bite your nails?

nah

10: When was your last physical fight?

like one where someone was genuinely hurt? like an hour ago and it was with the ground cause i got flung off my skateboard but for real i think my last physical fight was like kinder

11: Do you like someone?

skdjashjdkashd i doooo and i should noottttt and theres a lot of things i already know that its kinda like the crush is coming from the fact that there was a lot of support and general niceness and a whooollle lot of other reasons why i should not and im looking forward to the day when this goes away

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

my goodness i have and i died

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

hmm i do but i forgot who it was

14: Do you miss someone?

yeah i kinda miss my old self but for real i really miss my cousin lynnette like i havent seen her for like two years and i really needa hang out with her eventually

15: Have any pets?

dang i wish

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

at the moment? p distressed and very in my own head like i really need a break from a lot of other things but i also need a break from myself oh! ill show you my art project that were doing later when i finish it cause like we ended up havign to do an extreme emotion self portrait of how we feel at this point in time and like its hilarious cause ppl pass by it and theyre like “dude are you okay like just looking at that makes me feel bad”

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

dkjasdh i have not but i lowkey wanna just cause

18: Are you scared of spiders?

uH YEAh

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i would i would and if it was to relive a memory definitely if it was to redo something over differently most definitely if it was to reexperience something wihtout changing something then uh no

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

hhhhhhh oh my goodness lowkey embarrassed to say it cause weve talked about places to snog a while ago and like the last time i did was like in the bushes in the sculpture garden

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

maybe working on the death of a salesman project maybe just getting some rest im really not sure im literally living day to day at this point

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

pfft man i do not wanna have any kids like at all

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i got two but theyve closed up already since i dont use em

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, a bit of dabbling in math, and then also psych like i lvoed the fuck outta that class

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

oh yeah definitely and i think about her a lot i definitely miss meleana and sometimes ill go out and theres a souvenir shop and ill look at the best friend necklaces cause she always got one for us and like i have a box just full of all the halved best friend necklaces and i wonder a lot what would have happened had we still kept contact she was a big gateway to a lot of things in my life 

26: What are you craving right now?

mmm some damn relief but for real tho i want someone to run their hands through my hair and pet it and all like any of the daydreams i have are usually centered around my new haircut

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i? dont? think? so? theres like only one of two people i know of who like ever liked me and that was jolin (the other one is this sophomore from my art class last year)

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

lol no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

wish i could even get a date

30: What’s irritating you right now?

well i brought up the other ones in our chat and those are the main ones currently so

31: Does somebody love you?

yeah and i think in a lot of situations whether theyre friends or fam im being put on the weird pedestal

32: What is your favourite color?

OH OH OH ITS CERULEAN BLUE LIKE I KNOW ITS REAL SPECIFIC BUT LIKE THAT THAT BLUE IS SO GOOD LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN PUBLIC MY CHEST SWELLS UP AND MY LUNGS FEEL SO COLD AND THE AIR FEELS REALLY NICE AND LIKE MAN I LOVE THAT BLUE

33: Do you have trust issues?

lol yeah and in the process ive lied a lot and ive gotten so good at lying that sometimes i forget i am lying and the lines between whats truth or not get all blurry (i legit did not mean for that to come off as tumblr-esque as it did)

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

it was me just kinda floating in random space and then i was in a white room with no walls no doors no windows and i just walked around in this open blank space

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hhhh mrs quiggle

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

sometimes i think i do

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

haH hAH HAH haaa.......no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

uh i believe 13 oh wait no scratch that i was like 8

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i needed to get the laundry so...

51: Favourite food?

prolly ramen oh or loco moco cause its so good

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

mmm i think id say i do

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i was working on my entry for the lawyer firm art contest

54: Is cheating ever okay?

hell no

55: Are you mean?

i think so cruel even just cause i know so much and i think people who know and understand and think so much are in general dangerous cause they calculate their actions and sometimes that scares me cause i cant tell if im doing it on purpose or not but just in general yeah im mean like too many shits are just not given

56: How many people have you fist fought?

like? uh? i think maybe two and both times were when i was like 8 or 9

57: Do you believe in true love?

mmm i do i do and i think a lot of that true love stems from a relationship based on communication, honesty, trust, and a really good friendship as a foundation

58: Favourite weather?

oooOOOOOO okay so do you remember that one time it was raining hard as fuck like sophomore year like i know its real vague but it was legit pouring and like it was actually so bad that everyone adn i mean everyone went into the library to get some form of shelter and there were people who were soaked to the bone and peoples umbrellas were getting broken cause it was so cold rainy and windy like that that kinda weather is my fave

59: Do you like the snow?

uh i think i do?

60: Do you wanna get married?

hell yeah

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

mmmm i get a lil weird on that but i think some of my favorite ones are like being called “love” like “whats going on love” or “you look good today love” like mmm i eat that shit up

62: What makes you happy?

man legend of zelda is makign me so damn happy rn like it legit means so damn much to me adn like theres so much i lvoe about it and i just lvoe talking about it and anything about it in general and like also skateboarding has been making me real happy lately like ive never loved getting hurt more and like that sounds really bad and like my left knee’s nerves are totally shot cause i fell straight on it and messed it up cause i was skating but like theres just soemthing about feeling more within my own body because im gettin some form of physical activity adn im getting hurt adn its like its a reality in its own way and like i really love it and i super love when i get to cruise like it feels so damn esp with my hair now and also what makes me happy is the ppl i find cute every now and then like its genuinely such a nice experience and oh oh i just wanted to talk about it jsut cause but like whenever i get a crush i get real excited and real happy cause like i love getting them gifts and seeing the surprise and the happiness on their faces cause its like oh you thought of me and oh its somehting i really love and like it makes them happy for that glimpse of a moment and like i love talking to them and like when they tell me about things they like or their passionate about its so nice to hear cause its like yes yes yes i support you and i love you i love seeing you happy and like just seeing your brightens my day and like even if i do confess and i do get rejected ive been mroe than lucky cause its like the people i have confessed to have been so gentle with the rejection and so kind with it and its like oh no!! like yes im sad that we couldnt be more but like thank you!!! thank you so much for letting me love you adn letting me give you so much thank you for brightening my days up and lettign me see your smiles and hear your laughs like thank you so much im so glad i could crush on you and like thats another thing that makes me happy and like theres probably a lot more that i could talk about but i think ill leave at that for now

63: Would you change your name?

i been actually thinking about it for a while adn in the times that i have considered it i usually use a game with the customizable name to try it out and like at some point i used Elle and then i tried Lynn and like i dunno im really not too sure and maybe if other names come in the future ill test those out cause truly it doesnt feel like my name is my own

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

mm yeah id think so cause theres stuff we were supposed to talk about that we didnt and uhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

say “thanks im really flattered but i really dont think im in a place right now where i should get into a relationship”

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

lmao no

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uhh the guy at the receptionist desk when i went in to submit my entry for the art contest

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

lol if what we talked about wasnt deep and it wasnt you then itd be mrs quiggle

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

fuck yeah

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i dont think so like i wouldnt even die for myself

[pikapepikachuu]

Terrible Tahs kill off season with insipid first half against Brumbies

"I thought we started well but then there was that period between the 20th and 40th minute where I thought the Brumbies had an excellent platform to operate from," said coach Daryl Gibson. "Their set-piece functioned very well and put a lot of pressure on us and they were able to score tries from it. "We won that second half but obviously things were very difficult at that stage to come back from." The trip to Invercargill next week to face the Highlanders will be a grim one for a squad with only pride to play for. NSW had a chance to draw level with the Rebels (34 points) or even go just ahead but produced their worst performance of the year when it mattered most. "The Brumbies stuck to their guns and played a really dominant game there," said Waratahs captain Michael Hooper. "We went out there full of intent and wanting to get the job done and sticking to our stuff but the Brumbies were too strong. They found a game that has worked so well for them." Eight defeats this season by eight points or fewer is a tough pill to swallow and had some of those results gone the way of Hoopers men, he would have been able to front the cameras in a far better mood.

No more excuses: Michael Hooper again had to front the cameras to explain a Waratahs loss.Credit:AAP Meanwhile, the Brumbies guaranteed themselves top spot in the Australian conference and will host a home quarter-final in a fortnight. It is the sixth time the Waratahs have lost to the Brumbies in seven matches since 2016. The victory was the Brumbies fifth on the trot and the last time they achieved that milestone was in 2007. Loading Barring a mathematical miracle, for the third time in four seasons the Waratahs wont play finals football in yet another underwhelming outcome for a group stacked with Wallabies representatives. Since Gibson took over at the beginning of 2016, the Waratahs have tasted victory in 28 of their 63 matches for a winning record of 44 per cent. "For me the season is not finished," Gibson said. "The time for reflection will be after the game next weekend and certainly well have a good discussion and a review and go through and work out what we need to fix up." Loading Luckily for Gibson, he doesnt have to lose sleep over the headache that had been looming resting Wallabies representatives in a game where the finals were still in his sides grasp. It looks like Sekope Kepu, Rob Simmons, Hooper, Foley and Kurtley Beale wont get their frequent flyer points next week. "[Resting players] is something that will come into our consideration when we get around to selection next week," Gibson said. "Its really important the team finishes the season well though." A couple of early Waratahs handling errors didnt cost them too dearly as Foley booted a penalty in the 11th minute to give the home side an early advantage.

Making a game of it: Nick Phipps crosses for the home side at Bankwest Stadium, but it proved to be a mere consolation.Credit:AAP A defensive lapse close to the line then saw Rory Arnold reach over and plant the ball over the line, prompting former Wallaby and Fox Sports commentator Stephen Hoiles to label him the best Australian second-rower in Super Rugby "by a country mile". The Brumbies kicked ahead even further thanks to Andy Muirhead, even if the Waratahs protested that he did not ground the ball despite referee Ben OKeeffe giving it the thumbs-up. A potential forward pass wasn't picked up in the lead-up to an Irae Simone try but the Waratahs only had themselves to blame with a poor defensive read on their right edge.

Straightening the attack: Rob Valetini of the Brumbies is tackled by Bernard Foley and Michael Hooper.Credit:AAP Nick Phipps, in his final home match for the Waratahs, wasnt having his best outing before dotting the ball over the line in the 48th minute to give NSW a faint hope of orchestrating a remarkable comeback. Loading Kepu, one of the great Waratahs stalwarts, trudged off in the 61st minute with little in the tank to warm applause in his last game for NSW on home soil. It was hardly a fitting way to send off a player of his calibre. The Waratahs had their fair share of possession and territory in the second half but couldnt come away with enough points. The absence of Israel Folau and Taqele Naiyaravoro has been more profound than anyone could have imagined. Christian Lealiifanos clever strip from Jed Holloway close to the line in the 69th minute summed up the evening. Adam Ashley-Cooper scooped up a clever left-foot grubber in behind the line from Foley to score in the 71st minute and get NSW within 11 points but it was too little too late as Tom Cusack and Curtis Rona traded late five-pointers. "We havent got that momentum or that roll-on that we got last year," Foley said. "I felt at the back end of last year the boys application was awesome. This year weve tried hard and the resilience and the character shown has been great but its just fallen short sometimes." Tom Decent is a journalist with The Sydney Morning Herald Most Viewed in Sport Loading

[riddlebot]

i’ve been playing a shit ton of da:i lately bc i missed my inquisitor so imma talk about him a bit idk

i decided on twitter that i was going to have him be a sort of mixture of all my favorite things about the previous inquisitors i made that i got rid of like 6 months ago so:

- he’ll get a fade related tattoo on whats left of his arm after solas takes it - he cuts his hair off when solas leaves, it grows back some by the time trespasser takes place (so he goes from the long hair w/ undercut to buzzed, and then it’ll be one of the shorter styles idk yet we’ll see when we get there) - he believes in both the maker and the dalish gods

somewhere in his tag like 9 months ago i made a post about his relationship w/ all the companions/advisors and i need to revisit the important ones so:

cassandra: they’re even closer than i expected them to be, her faith in him means so much and he really respects and loves her, she’s like an older sister to him? she’s very important to him, and whenever he doubts himself its her faith and belief in the inquisition and him that holds him up.

solas: they’re still gay sorry bioware you can’t stop me from romancing him in my head w/ a dude fuck you solas is bi FUCK YOU. anyways, i’:m edging closer to the end of the game every second so things between them are currently...stressed. mahvir loves solas, but he can tell something is.... off. and after their fight about mahvir’s choice to drink from the well of sorrows, its been strained. it hasnt happened yet but when solas leaves, its gonna... its gonna hurt mahvir really bad. god trespasser is going to be so depressing for him.

cole: i dont think i had them be as close as they are now originally, but mahvir often finds peace with cole. everything is so stressful and hectic and scary, but with cole he can sit on the castle walls and look at clouds and birds and just. ground himself in those moments. he also thinks cole is hilarious, and teaches him lots of jokes, and tells him a lot of stories. cole is a good learner, and listener.

sera: he and sera are thick as thieves of course. they did argue about what happened in the arbor wilds, but she relented and lets him have his beliefs, regardless of how nonsensical and stupid she thinks they are. they settled it, and it doesnt come up now. instead, the have target practice, and pull pranks to keep up morale (and because its fucking fun) mahvir worries about her, because she’s so much more visibly stressed/scared than anyone else, but he doesnt tell her that. 

blackwall: blackwall is still like, the most fatherly figure in mahvirs life. the whole thom rainer thing really shook him for awhile, but he forgives quickly. at least, more quickly than others. they dont talk about it, really. but mahvir often stops by the stables to see how blackwall is holding up, and just to enjoy his company. 

dorian: dorian and mahvir are very close. they are often exchanging books and having chess matches in the garden, or just... talking. mahvir gets into the habit of grabbing random recruits and asking them to take very important messages to dorian, which are actually just scribbles and jokes. dorian thinks its hilarious, and responds in kind. 

i havent gotten there with him yet but im just gonna talk about trespasser feels bc its all i can think about its like looming over me:

so when solas leaves after end game mahvir is gonna cry and be a huge baby because he’s soft and he’s young and thats his vhenan, why did he leave? he doesnt understand and pesters the advisors to expend resources to find him, but to no avail. he doesnt want to be found. 

after awhile, mahvir throws himself completely into inquisition business, it worries a lot of people, but he’s stopped openly weeping in the rotunda so its a start, maybe. they don’t know that most nights he dreads sleep, and stays awake crying or staring at the fireplace despondently. he only sleeps when exhaustion catches up with him. 

and after that.... he gets it together. things go back to normal, he goes back to normal, and before he knows it, its the Exalted Council. 

he and josie are doing so much, working so hard, trying their hardest to keep the inquisition alive, when shit hits the fan.

when he sees solas again, he has so many emotions rush over him at once he falls to his knees under the weight of it all in his chest. relief, love, heartache, sorrow. 

solas talks to him, and mahvir tries to make him see reason. solas takes the anchor, gently, and mahvir is beside himself with grief and confusion. 

he’ll keep the inquisition going, they’re strong and they’ll need to be, to find out how to stop solas.

[animmania]

Bendy and the ink machine sorta review.

bendy and the ink machine. alot of people have props been seeing its name going around lately and might not know what it is. sum up. its a horror indie game about a cartoon chacater coming alive though ink and you the player have to find out why everything thats happening is happening. thats the basic sum up.

i very much like this game alot and im really happy  to see it getting so much love. but alot of people dont like it and seem confused on why its getting so much praise . and i think thats an intersting point. one day it just showed up and got populaor. but why is that?? well i think its for a few reasons but ill get to them. ive been wanting to make this for a bit so im bascally going to cover as much about the game as i can. from story to game play. so lets start with a better look at the story. note the game is in chapters and i will be spoiling most things in the game so just a heads up to stop reading now if you dont want to be spoiled

CHAPTER 1 MOVIING PICTURES your name is henry a cartoonist who is coming back to his old animation studio after getting a letter from an old friend saying he wants to show you something you look around and find an ink machine. not knowing what it dos or what its for you of course decied you need to turn it on and see what it dos. after finding some iteams to "sacrafice to the gods". once you get them and turn on the machine the place starts to flood with ink and bendy appears. an old cartoon character that used to be famous. think mickey mouse and such. but someone trying to bring him to life made him into a inky black monster.. you run away and make it to the exist but you fall for the floor. after finding an axe you break some boards then reach a demonic circle and pass out after seeing some images.

CHAPTER 2 THE OLD SONG After passing out you wake up and and pick back up your axe. after some more wood chopping you find your way to the music department of the animation studio.here you find another exit but since the ink machine is going the exit is flooded and you cant get in. afetr some exploring and puzzle solving you eventually find out about sammy. the head of the music department and how the exit flooding was something that happened alot becuase of the ink machine. so they installed a ink pump in the exit that would get rid of the ink in the exit. you go to his office press the switch and as your about to leave your hit on the head and knocked out. turns out its good ol sammy. after being locked down there for so long and trapped by the ink machine he has gone mad. he wishs to be free and he thinks giving you as a saccrafice to bendy will do it. he ties you up and is about to sick bendy at you when suddenly bendy turns on him and off screen kills him. you get loose and grab your axe and start running until you run into the ol fool him self BENDY. he gives chase and you outrun him locking him the door. so now your safe but just as things get calm you hear a noise around a conor and behold. its boris another cartoon character that was made for bendy but he is more finished and not as monsterish looking as bendy thos in the game. then it cuts to black and it ends

and thats it for now. no other chapters are out.

now the story isnt anything ground breaking yes but its also not horrible. its a basic plot and it gets the job done. there are a few more characters i could have mentioned but they really dont matter all that much to whats going on. they are mainly for lore and to make it seem like this place used to be well run. ill let you guys find out about them if you decied to get the game your self

ok with the story done lets talk about the look of the game which i think is the best part about bendy and the ink machine.

given its about cartoons and such every thing has a very old cartoony look to them. from the walls to projectors every thing screams classic cartoons and its great they did a great job mixing the cartoony style  with 3d objects making it all seem natural. the lighting is also very good. using alot of yellows i noticed and using it to highlight things like doors or places that you might want to check out. the game also has a bunch of posters every were of bendy the main character and other cartoon characters. now there isnt alot of them so your most likly going to see alot of the same ones alot which isnt the best but it dos have a plus side ill get to later . the only thing id say is an issue with the look of everything is. stuff like the floors while do look good are pretty flat. most of the ground is made out of floor boards and it all looks flat. i think having some stick up from the ground slitghy would have been a bit better but its only a nit pick

but now what would a good looking game be without good looking characters to such as bendy. a small lil demon cartoon character. he was the face of the whole animation studio and boy it shows. his desgin is really simple yet really nice to look at and from an artist stand point very fun and easy to draw. he also has all the classic cartoon things. the big cloves. the dot eyes with the cut in them and  a bow tie. something else to note is he has no neck. not really sure why that is but its honestly nice. makes him stand out honestly which is good for a main character

the next character is boris. very goofy like being a doog person...thing. hes very cute and you see him from time to time in the game in full 3d. his model is very nice and he fits very well into the look of everything else.

finally we have the new cartoon character that was added in chapter 2 alice angle. her disney is meant to be a sorta oppiste of bendys i think. being an angle instead of a devil she has a slightly different look and is actually a human instead of a cartoon animal . her disgn seems very betty boob and minny mouse inspired. having some boob but still maintaining her cartoon look.with bendy arms and gloves and all. its worth to note she has a hole in her hand which i dont really understand but sure it looks nice

every other character in the game dosnt have a look besides from sammy. sammy being a person covered in ink wearing a bendy mask. there isnt alot to say about him other then i think he needs a bath.

now were onto game play. this is where i think most people start to spilt into the two groups of loving this game or hating the game. each with good points

the game is first person with the basic controls walk and look around. its worth to note that in chapter 2 they added a jump button and a sprint button. dont know why they didnt have them in chapter one but what ever. also on a short note the jump in this game dosnt really do much but it dosnt have alot of sound which makes it seem off. you dont need to jump so its not a big deal but its something that bothered me . you also have a attack button which is for swinging your axe at things in your way and enemys which is where issues start to come in. swinging the axe is fine but hitting things is another story. when ever i swing it i can never tell when im going to hit something. ive been right next to objects and swinging and it would not break and id have to start aiming at them in different angles till i found the hit box. i havent played chapter 2 but after watching a few people play it it seems the same goes for the enemys but not as much. now the enemys i think are the weakest part about the game so far. for 1 they arent really scary and dont really fit in with the world. they are just geniric looking sludge monsters  with no real features. and fighting them seems really unsatisfying. they go down with one hit and the sound effect sounds like your stepping in a puddle. also they arent really something you have to worry about. it takes like 12 of them to be able to kill you and even still as long as you dont run head first into them they will never kill you. but do be careful becuase if they do kill you you gotta start the chapter all over again . that is pretty bullshit.

then we have the other part of the game play which is looking for iteams and solving some puzzles. now alot of people hate these and i do understand. looking for iteams isnt that fun  but i dont think its all that bad. you get to look at all the details and find some secerts along the way. plus the areas you have to look in arent even that big so it wont take very long to find what you need.

now thats pretty much all the game play but theres another thing i want to talk about which is the music. now for as much as id love to say buy the soundtrack i really cant. besides from one track which i liked called *Hellfire Follies* all the songs seem like genirc horror music youd find anywhere. Hellfire Follies is the best mainly becuase its so different from the rest of the songs and also fits really well into the cartoon aesthic thats going on. the only other song id say is really good is the one that plays when your next to the projector playing a small animation of bendy in chapter 1. but its not in the soundtrack for some reason and i cant find its name any where.

so thats bendy and the ink machine. so what after all that is said and done those bendy desver to get all the praise it gets?? or is it just a over hyped game that isnt that good. me persnoally i really like. despite all its issues i still had fun playing chapter one and looking at all the detail and watching all the play thoughs of chapter 2 just made me love it more. if you came into the game with high expctaions thinking your going to shit your pants in fear your going to be dissapointed. a common issue ive seen come up with the game from people is that theres no real looming fear . no monster constally chaseing you or enemys that really make you scared. and those are fair complaints. but i think thats not all that bad of a thing. bendy and the ink machine is more of a game that wants you to get sucked into its world and wants to scare you with its tone and setting rather then with monsters or the fear of dying. i think the best way of looking at bendy and the ink machine is. dont think of it as a action horror game. but more as a puzzle horror game.

also despite it not being that scary its such a unique horror game. a game with such a cute cartoony style clearly taking insipation from old school disney. not alot of horror games like that out there which is way i think people like it so much. its just so nice and new. plus it not being that scary i think opens it up for alot of people.

its sorta like a lite horror game. something i think which could be a good start for people that want to get into horror games or horror genra as a whole but cant handle big things like lets say outlast or something.

but i think the best part about the game and what made me so in love with it is the commmuinty. the meatly the maker of the game trys so hard to be active in the community and dos so much for people who enjoy his game. even to the point in letting them chip in with art contest for the chance of getting thier art in the game with posters or so many things. and even reaching out to youtubers who have taken the time to write whole songs for the game and added them into the game as easters eggs which is just so cool. taking part in it is honestly is nice and seeing all the nice cool people in it makes it such a joy to be apart of . if i played the game and never even looked at fan art or all the community events id  honestly not be that intersted in this game and would have worte it off.

if you dont really care about that kinda stuff then it wont really matter and the game might not leave that much of an impact but for me it makes me want to get more into it because its just fun.

so thats my kinda review of bendy. hope i made some sense haha. and meatly if this some how finds your way. thanks for making such awesome games. keep up the work man

[archer3-13]

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM: SEED DESTINY: EPISODE 5, THE ONE WHERE SHINN YELLS AT CAGALLI AND ITS KINDA AWESOME?

i mean, like, im sure if your a cagalli stan or whatever its frustrating (as should most of how seed destiny has potrayed her so far), but like. i wanna like her, i do kinda like her, i just find it difficult because she was poorly written in seed and has consistently been inconsistent in what and how her characters potrayed.

anyways, yeah another pretty good episode and one with character primarily on display which is nice. junius 7 is on a crash course for earth (because of space terrorists as revealed right at the start of the episode, which is a bit of a shame but again isnt a deal breaker and does put the dread into its own interesting context), people are freaking out, some asshole named djribil and a bunch of old farts in suits who are presumably earth political leaders of some sort sit in a nice room smockin, drinkin, and playing pool before deciding ‘fuck coordinators, blue cosmos forevah’. djribil whos name sounds like a hot air balloon yeets a billiard ball for some reason. yzak and dereaka make their reappearance with yzak now in command of a ship of all things (neat) and dereaka piloting a mobile suit. terrorists, athrun decides to pilot a mobile suit again, and things heat up with the phantom pain bogey 1 on scene as well, though they havent done anything yet.

so, some good set up going on here. the terrorist intro again feels a little premature but by doing so early its better able to establish who they are and the threat they pose. the action beats they provide at the end also help the episode kick up at the end making for a pretty good cliff hanger. not much else to say about them so far, aside from them possibly playing into a thematic idea destiny might ultimately end up bungling or missing completely. ill get back to you on that later...

honestly not much i can really say on this one. its actually pretty good like the previous four, some decent animation and shot composition, better music thats played at better moments, its not a revolutionary story so far but there feels like an earnest attempt to address problems that were in seeds writing being made and its generally kinda fun, exciting and well paced so far.

i do wanna mention whats going on with shinn and cagalli in this episode. or rather, shinn gives cagalli the riot act and it hurts cagalli cause its kinda true. basically this is where we get a first glimpse as to what exactly it is about orb and his sisters death that rubs shinn the wrong way and he accuses as being hypocritical about orb. And sugarcoating it as he put it in previous episodes is actually a pretty good way of putting it.

basically, shinn accuses orb of being hypocritical because well its leaders make a big show of peace, neutrality, harmony and the like they were unable to protect their citizens when the chips were actually down during the invasion of orb, in part because orbs leaders dont have a full grasp on the consequences of their actions and put abstract principles over their citizens and reality. And honestly, hes rather correct in this assessment, atleast of what happened. orb was not able to protect its citizens, orb placed principles over security, and the citizens of orb suffered because of those decisions. sure orbs central leaders of the time blew themselves up because ‘muh honour’ but thats not exactly accountability for their mistakes. and look whos in charge of orb now, the daughter of the previous leader whos trying hard to emulate her fathers ideals and principles. its not fair to bring bias against her father against her mind, but it is a reasonable assumption to make that its the same shit as before under a different name.

unfair and coming from an emotional gut response? certainly. unfounded? no, and thats what makes someone finally rubbing cagallis nose in it oddly satisfying. i even dont mind how cagalli and athrun handle it in private because well they do have a bit of a pity party and dont really address the validity of what shinn said (which admittedly you probably would not do in a situation like that if you were trying to calm a friend down), it is a surprisingly tender scene that uses flashback footage to reflect what a character is feeling without spelling it out (athrun mentioning that shinns occupied with his own anger and grief well flashbacking to athruns anger and grief from seed such as juinus 7s destruction), some good music to set the scene and mood and well i do find the use of “he wont be able to understand” a bit of that fuck you got mine kinda aspect of seed that annoyed me and in the concept of destinys infamous reputation... in the context of the episode alone it works in the vein of “well you understand his grief of losing family, he wont be able to understand yours until hes ready and no longer occupied with his own grief”, which i honestly feel is a more compelling way to read the scene especially with athrun mentioning to luna that cagalli lost family as well. not necessarily a condemnation of what shinn said, simply an attempt to convey that cagalli does understand more then they think.

also the cut of shinn looking through pictures on his sisters phone of his sister and family after his outburst against cagalli during athrun and cagallis tender scene helps the emotional resonance of it as well. it calls back to that great phone message scene from the previous episode that is still my fave one so far, it feels like something someone going through grief and unable to process it or simply wishing to remeber lot family might do to calm down (like looking through a photo album but with a phone), the pictures are nice, and its a tender if tragic scene in its own right.

rey also shows that well hes the reigns to shinns anger, he does get it and doesnt condemn shinns anger just how he expresses it. athrun deciding that he will pilot a mobile suit because he doesnt want to sit back anymore if only temporarily, the looming threat of juinus 7 and the more abstract political ramifications of it, and athrun calling out his real name as opposed to his fake name as he takes off in the suit is a nice piece of symbolism. again its just... its a good episode. regardless of when the other shoe drops i am always going to stand by the opinion that seed destinys early episodes are better then seeds early episodes. and that shinn > kira.

alternative goofy title for this episode is the one where we learn durandel canonically fucks, or at the very least sleeps in the nip.