#we had le vesconte

[thesilliestpotato]

you know what? I am going to obsess over Edward Little now

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

some fitzdrawings from may we be spared to meet on earth (with a bonus fitzpun)

[crustaceousfaggot]

Relationships in The Terror (2018) I think would have been fun to see explored onscreen if they'd had more than 10 episodes:

Gibson & Jopson (You and the coworker at your customer service job who's kinda a n annoying boolicker but also the only other gay person on staff, so I guess you're friends now)

Bridgens & Goodsir (I know you're not a proper doctor but I see that you are trying and you are full of so so so much love and care and we are the same in that way)

Peglar & Hickey (Hickey sees this friendly doe-eyed gayboy and assumes he'll be an easy mark, Peglar gently informs him that his husband is over on Erebus and he's not interested in mutiny, thank you very much)

Bridgens & Fitzjames (Fun fact: a steward can also be a father figure if your abandonment issues are bad enough!)

Jopson & Little (Joplittle girlies I am trying to understand your culture but this is one of the most Men Standing Beside Each Other ships I have ever seen)

Hickey & Darlington (I just want one scene where it's established that Hickey is kinda shit at his job and his boss hates him)

Fitzjames & Le Vesconte (I know they technically interact but c'mon I need more Dundy in my life)

Gibson & Hodgson (Okay this one I'm actually insane about. Hodgson who likes to think of himself as chill and friendly with the lower ranks vs Billy who wants this guy to shut up so he can do his job. Someone on Discord compared it to when customer service jobs make you wear a name tag - customers try to be friendly and address you by name, but it just feels jarring and a bit violating because of the inherent power differential. And then when their dynamic is swapped, when Billy is the Lieutenant to Hickey's Captain and Hodgson is a decorative piece of meat? Bro. And, like, Hodson ate the flesh of this man who had made his bed and shaved his face for the past 3 years. Did that affect him differently than if it had been a random AB? I'm losing my mind over here.)

Armitage & Tozer (he wants that Marine cock sooooooo bad god bless)

[victorclays]

Oh okay. The next Edward Little scene is so much worse.

When he's telling the camp that they need to go get Francis and he keeps talking, and the men just keep saying they prefer the captains order. And Edward even goes so far as to say "to hell with the captains order." And they STILL want to follow it and he says "well, I'm giving a different order."

And then Le Vesconte tells him there's been a vote, and he fucking freezes. Asks them "when." And then he starts crying.

And they give their excuses and say its not to say he's not in command of the camp, even though it takes his command of the camp away. And then they mention the ill, and they cut back to Edward and he says "most of us... are ill." And he looks so fucking desperate and distraught and lost.

And then he looks angry. Because they're going against another direct order. A more important one. And then the next shot him he looks so resigned. There's no emotion on his face anymore.

But the worst part for me is when ...i think its Mr. Best, says "he wouldn't have given the order if he didn't want us to follow it." And then they cut to the scene with Francis and Goodsir, and he's telling him "i know Edward's nature. He'll come for us."

Meaning he gave that order, because he knew Edward would disobey it. And come and get him, and anyone else who was being kept there.

And fuck, Edward tried. He did. But it's like, it hurts my heart, because i know they were scared, and hungry, and lost. But the way i wish that Edward's men had had faith in him too, and had stood with him.

Because Francis was right. Edward absolutely tried to disobey his order, like he knew his Lieutenant would. But literally no one, stood with him. He even asked Le Vesconte about starting his own rescue party with those still loyal and he just cuts him off and says "Edward. We hope you come with us."

Like.... none of those men stood with him. The one man who would have, was in a tent, unable to stand at all. And Edward was then forced to leave him behind as well.

He didn't stand a fucking chance, even though he was the man his captain knew he was.

[even-in-arcadia]

A Consideration of 1st Lt. Edward Little of HMS Terror (As Played by Matthew McNulty)

The thing about Lt. Edward Little is that he had the highest ideals and yet was set up in so many ways to fail them.  

We occasionally see glimpses of the man Edward Little must have been in order to be appointed First Lieutenant on a very prestigious expedition: reliable, capable, stalwart. 

He had that, before, when he was doing the job he was trained for, ie running a ship at sea.  What he hasn’t been trained for at all is managing 129 126 119 105 ? men stuck in pack ice in endless night, later trudging over ice and shale, trying to keep them busy and out of trouble and from getting killed by a demon bear.  Of course he’s out of his depth, but honestly aren’t most of them?  Of the lieutenants Gore (RIP) is the only one who seems to be in his element and he’s the only one with Arctic experience so that tracks.  Even Le Vesconte is getting by on charisma and the power of peer pressure, neither of which actually make for competent officering.  So that’s the scene he’s stuck in, and no wonder if he’s out of his depth.  

Then we have the circumstances specific to Edward Little.  He's spent the first two-plus years of the voyage as the first for a captain who is very depressed and increasingly alcoholic. As Crozier's state deteriorates and especially after Franklin dies, Little has to tread a very fine and somewhat blurry line. He has to cover for Crozier, picking up the slack that is inevitably dropped; he also has to prop Crozier up in such a way that his leadership as Captain isn't undermined with the crew. A big part of both of those is making sure that the right questions are being asked, that all practicalities are being factored in, but he has to ask those questions without seeming to question Crozier’s authority. Thus he must essentially be an acting captain without seeming to do so either to the men or to Crozier . He is not someone who wants power per se; in fact I think what he wants most is to be a good and competent 1st Lt. But because he's under an semi-incapacitated captain, he has no choice but to take on some of that power while appearing to be no more than a loyal lieutenant. He's leading without being seen to lead, and he's already seen Crozier flog three men for among other things insubordination and disrespect (and without due process).

(Continued below the cut, as this got very long)

Crozier has also put him in a position of having to lie - both directly and by omission! For example, when questioned he tells Fitzjames (who outranks him) "much to do on Terror is all” - leaving JFJ to draw his own conclusions on the source of that “much” and the extent to which it is falling on Little.  The instruction to procure more whiskey “discreetly” is nearly if not actually insulting in how far below Little's rank it is.  Having to do it “discreetly” is even worse.  He is being treated as an errand boy, and not just an errand boy but one tasked with something that is clearly unsavory, even illicit.   By ordering him to to this, he makes Little complicit in the very vice that is causing all of these problems, and Little by virtue of his position is unable to refuse any of these direct orders, even ones that are way below his station. (The fact that Jopson, Crozier's actual steward who was actually in charge of these things, was not given that task is also telling although I’m not sure of what - perhaps that Crozier wanted someone who outranked the Erebus’ steward to do the asking; perhaps that he felt some shame in asking Jopson.)

Through all of this, Little is having to cover for a man who continues to lose his own respect in ways both large and small, personal and professional. Crozier has endangered the crew for which Little feels himself bound to care - leading directly to Blanky losing his leg - and has spoken flippantly of the situation ("How fares the raft of the Medusa?"). In 1x04, he is clearly galled by both the disregard of due process and severity of Hickey’s punishment.  (While both are not unstandard in the Navy, Crozier’s manner makes it seem like spite as much as anything - which I’m sure Little clocked.)  Overall, Little observes him making inebriated decisions that are based as much on his internal demons as any the practicalities at hand while men continue to die under his watch. This erosion of trust will come back to haunt them all, because even when its causes have been overcome, the deep root and the effects are there. (JFJ gets to have reckonings with Crozier and say his piece in a way that Little never does or will.)

Edward Little also cares deeply about the welfare of his men, perhaps more than anything. Command is a responsibility not just to the navy but to those whose lives his decisions affect. And so he as he sees this disregard for them (and for himself) he is angry, and he is in a profession and position where one is not allowed to be angry with one's superiors. So he spends a lot of his time pretending that he is not quietly furious while carrying out orders that he knows he shouldn't be, and hiding it from everyone , even Fitzjames, because he is also, deep in his heart, loyal (even if he feels it is unearned) and married to Naval structures.  Crozier and JFJ have their reckoning, but Little never gets that, because subordinates aren’t allowed to be angry.  

This combination, the lack of trust both given and received, the anger, the care & loyalty, the necessity to fill the void in leadership, means that he asks a lot of questions . A well placed "Are you sure, sir?" can go a long way. "Yes, but--" is not a phrase that would often have been uttered to a commander by a lieutenant, but Little has not just earned but hard won the right to say it.  Every time he questions Crozier, I think it is out of a sense of duty, not defiance. A duty to the expedition, to Crozier, and above all to the men, because for so long Crozier’s judgement was not something he was able to rely on. He can’t even attend a sunrise party without thinking of the supplies that are being used up! 

To top everything off, he also never appears to be someone who is particularly congenial nor gregarious, he is very aware of his rank, and is competent while not being loved (except by me).  I like to imagine that he and Jopson and Macdonald were able to commiserate in some way as Crozier was going through his detox.  But everyone is so conscious of class & rank & secrets being guarded that it seems unlikely that anyone actually confided in each other. By getting dry and in such dramatic fashion, Crozier earns back his loyalty & respect, but by doing so in secret I wonder if he hasn't further eroded Little's relationship with the other lieutenants.  Do they even know Crozier is drying out or is Little lying to them as well as to the entire rest of the crew?  Little does not seem like a man who cares for lying, and covering up the captain's "gastritis" would only have made Little feel more cut off and burdened by the captain's confidence. (To say nothing of the fact that all of this is going on with the Tuunbaaq in the background - these lieutenants were not designed to contend with alcoholic spirits let alone the spirit world.)

 Crozier’s trust does often  end up being more burden than anything, and it’s beyond the responsibility that would normally come with his rank. That moment when he practically shoves the pistol away from him is so telling of this.  We really were robbed of the moment when Little is so angry after leaving Crozier that he can’t even slam his door: because that’s what’s building up this entire time!  

By covering for Crozier both before and during his sobering up, Little probably lost some of his authority over the crew. They know he's hiding something, and that earns some distrust. He's obviously worn out, and there must be some observation that Crozier is literally using him as an errand boy. In the best of circumstances the commanding-without-commanding is a hard line to walk while maintaining one’s own air of authority. He's also angry, and in working so hard to cover and subdue his anger, what he's left with is the "sad, wet man" that fandom has dubbed him. The crew may not know exactly what’s going on (although what do those men have to do besides gossip) but they must have sensed how Little is being worn away. As much as he cares for them, he wouldn’t fraternize - it seems like he barely fraternizes in the wardroom.  (Which is why that moment of camaraderie with Jopson outside Crozier’s cabin is so important to me personally.) 

That brings us to the mutiny.  We may love a sad, wet man, but in the face of a charismatic mutineer he's never going to match up. He doesn't have the authority, the love of the crew, or really the energy to go against it. At this point, he has no reason to know or suspect that a mutiny is what's the offing in the first place! He is someone who wants to believe the best of his men, and he's been given no reason to doubt Tozer's motives. And what was he supposed to do in the face of a marine sergeant surrounded by frightened, armed men?  They are clearly on edge and afraid, a dangerous combination.  He is practical, and although ultimately it loses him even more face by going along with Tozer, he was never going to be able to stop that in its tracks. Even JFJ wasn’t able to reel back in what had already been done.  So he chooses the pragmatic route: agree publicly to the logic, let Tozer do with him what he's been doing with Crozier, in making the subordinate's idea appear to be the superior's. With the situation and facts at hand, what else is he to do? 

The irony is that Little has been quietly looking out for all of them and their best interests for so long; but because it was so quiet, an undercurrent, when it comes down to brass tacks, none of them have ever seen that, or feel that they owe him any respect or loyalty. Tozer and Hickey appear to be men of action, and unfortunately in a moment like this a group of frightened men is going to follow the one who appears strongest. 

I also want to point out that Crozier specifically says *while the fog holds off*. Well the fog has rolled in! The situation changed! Crozier clearly has suspicions of Hickey and Tozer that he hasn't confided to Little, and whose fault is that! When it comes to investigating Irving’s and Farr’s murders, Little asks what the evidence is, which suggests to me that he has no knowledge of any concerns about Hickey that have arisen post-lashing.  Again, he is inclined to trust them.

One of the realest moments we get from him is "I'm the worst kind of sorry." It's one of the very few times he breaks from naval demeanor. The worst kind because he feels it deeply, but also because he was stuck, and he knows it, and also knows the expectations both from himself and from others that he be Better.

What it comes down to is what he says to Hodgson: "All we have are our instincts and training. If both told you to proceed with what you ordered, then be easy with yourself." That is all Little has had for so long. He certainly doesn’t seem to be having heart to hearts with Irving and Hodgson, let alone JFJ and Crozier; his counterpart on Erebus is long gone.  Who has he to confide in, especially at this juncture of events, when there are no clear paths and no right answers. I imagine this is what he told himself over and over in the long watches of the night.  

And yet!! Matthew McNulty has said that “Little's probably one of the most hopeful out of them all. [...] He still thinks that humanity will prevail in this dark, dark world.”  I’m not sure where to put this, but I think it’s important.  I think it’s part of why he doesn’t always quite have the authority he should: poor, worn down Edward Little sees the best and hopes for the best, and can’t quite reckon that not everyone has the same moral compass he does.  That’s why Tozer & Hickey get the best of him, because he wants to believe the best of them.  He doesn’t compromise his moral compass or belief in humanity, and unfortunately that turns into a blind spot.I think it’s also why Tozer invites him to join them: because some part of him recognizes that they both have that idealism deep down.  They are both doing their best in an inconceivable situation to cling to hope and take care of those they see as under their protection. It pains me to think what they could have accomplished had they worked together rather than against each other. 

(Incidentally, I don’t believe Little ever would have been swayed to join them, but I can’t blame him for the fact that Tozer’s claim about Crozier leaving them gave him pause.  He’s seen Crozier finally grow into a commander he can respect, but to find out that Crozier’s judgment was not just impaired for so long but extended to actively planning to abandon ship & crew, as Tozer frames, as he was working so hard to hold things together - even if he doesn’t believe it, in his heart of course there must have been some doubt.) 

All of these, the erosion of respect, the concern, the exhaustion, the lack of direction and support, the HOPE, come together in a moment for which he (unjustly, in my opinion) gets vilified for: 

We’ve slowed our pace hauling some of the ill in the boats. But if we extend this temporary camp more than a few days, we can allow the ill to rest here while the bulk of us proceed south. We can hopefully find game and trek back for the others once we have something more to offer them–

And Jopson’s anger is both understandable and not unwarranted - but. Based on that look Le Vesconte gives him, this most likely is not a thought that originated with Little.  It’s  being grumbled by those hauling, maybe even obliquely discussed by the officers.   That look says to me “It has to be said.”  And it does, the logistics are evident to everyone and that needs to be discussed.  They’re sending out hunting parties every day, sure, but in an area very close to the one they’re trekking through.  It genuinely does make practical sense to have some unencumbered, able-bodied (relatively) men go ahead quickly to what would hopefully be better hunting grounds, while the sick conserve what strength they have: those able to hunt could move quickly and bring back game, while those who are dying could do so while not being jostled about on boats on shale.  Little does not say (and, I think, would never say) that they should leave them behind entirely: only that this current system isn’t really helping anyone (and it isn’t).  He needs to make sure that Crozier has fully considered the situation, because for so long that was not the case. (Historically, in fact, they did set up a hospital camp while a smaller party moved south.)

I actually do think he says this with hope: the hope that they really will find game, that the ill do just need to rest, that he can save as many of them as possible.  He's also thinking of the practicalities and (though I may be biased) really does intend to return to the ill once they have something to actually provide them with. He doesn't say so that they can move on unencumbered, to better their own chances, he says to let them rest , to find something to offer them.  He knows the situation and the feeling in camp, and that the time has come to have the conversation. It's not even necessarily a conversation he wants to have or believes in, but it has to be had. Once it's been talked about, once Crozier has come out with not just a position but a direction (to leave supplies behind if necessary), Little is entirely on board. Shortly thereafter, when Le Vesconte suggests the exact same thing, he retorts that " Most of us are ill" (note the us - the identification with) and further responds with disgust and anger that "The Captain also ordered that we not leave any man behind. You expediently leave that out."  The Captain isn’t there; Jopson isn’t there: if Little really in any way wanted to leave anyone behind, this was his chance to order it and save himself.  The fact is that he is still arguing for and trying to lead with compassion as well as duty; the fact that he can't override the more selfish majority doesn't negate that.

I wish we could see his decision to go with Le Vesconte even though he so clearly believes that these lesser mutineers are in the wrong; I know why we don't. I like to think that it's because he believes he's doing the best thing for all, that he knows one semi-able bodied man staying behind is not going to help anyone, and that by going south with the group he may be to able to sway them, or find game for the ill. But again - he has been put in a position where there is no right choice, and where any authority he had has been too far eroded to matter.

Regardless: we go from his vehement protestation that they must a) rescue their captain and b) not leave behind the ill to die to this:

A man completely broken, weathered almost beyond recognition, with his flesh pierced by and draped with the chains of watch fobs. That's fobs plural: they're clearly different chains, from different watches, from different men.  But in still uniform.  Because he clung to the to his identity, to hope, to grounding structure of the Navy in which he trained and believed, until the very end.

We don't know what happens in between. Is it madness? Did the mutineers do this to him?   Is it penance? A memorization of the men whose watches those were?  A punishment on himself for what happened on his watch - despite the fact that really, he was powerless to stop it? And this is the only watch he can keep now - watch chains in his face, his eyes forced open to the horrors. Or did 1st Lt. Edward Little spend so long suppressing his anger, marrying that anger to hope, being responsible, keeping confidences, bearing all that alone, with authority that is both shoved on him and disregarded - did he finally snap? Are the chains not a decoration, not a punishment, but an attempt to literally bind himself up and tack himself down to this terrible world where he’s found himself?  

All we know for certain is his last word - “Close?” Close to what? To death? To salvation?  The only comfort either Edward Little or we, the audience, will get - is that at the very end, his captain was there to release him from the duty to which he clung for so long, so fiercely, with so much hope.

[theyonagoda]

Franklin Expedition Geneology research, or: Do you want to know if YOUR blorbo was cannibalized?

In order to do Y-chromosome based or mtDNA-based DNA testing you need a continous line of male or female descendents (or relatives) and that's, like, really hard to figure out even with merticulous record-keeping by churches. I'm focusing on those who are are theorized to be one of the existing, discovered bodies, especially those that have been collected and whose DNA was already extracted. This means:

-Le Vesconte Point body, theorized to be Edward Couch or Robert Orme Sargent due to facial reconstruction.

-"Peglar Papers" body, which got lost (???) after british soldiers who found it in the 70s gave it to a museum; thankfully a new excavation found a singular foot bone. Theorized to be William Gibson or Thomas Armitage

"Holding Out Hope" Tier (no body):

-Two Grave Bay body, reburied and haven't been re-discovered yet. Thought to that of a Marine. I was doing Tozer's lineage b/c him having a ton of siblings made it easier, but someone beat me to it and is thinking about contacting the university of Waterloo to see if we can get another Fitzjames breakthrough. With Tozer off the list I'm moving on to Healey and Hedges, since both have a good starting point w/ marriages.

-The Starvation Cove Cutlery Carving Crew, whose silverware (originally the officers' until they carved their initials on them) made it pretty far. This includes William Wentzell, Cornelius Hickey, possibly Richard Wall, and several sets of initials that could've belonged to multiple crew members (i.e "WG".) I'm hoping that at least some of the bone fragments get recovered from there.

"Just In Case" Tier:

-Tenatively ientified body of Goodsir, who I'm like 90% sure is actually him this time but I that tiny chance that it isn't nags at me

-"Irving" grave, 70% sure.

I'm more interested in researching the crew than the officers tbh, largely as the latter was already taken by many enthusiasts (I know someone's doing Des Voeux rn.) This is a hugely collaborative effort and I have a lot of people to thank for this, including the Franklin Expedition facebook, the descendents of FE's personnel, and various hobby geneologists who have done their work before me! If anyone right now has ANY information of Thomas Armitage's genetic history, his descendents (he had at least five kids, which helps) or anything of the sort, please tell me!

[ltgeorgehodgson]

cont @lieut-dundy-le-vesconte

also becoming quickly flustered. has he misread the situation that much??

a- ah... well, I... not- not that much, but just... it's been difficult to, er, forget about it.

especially since i couldn't sit comfortably for about two days.. ahem...

and i- I wondered if maybe you had also found.. the same...that you couldn't, um, help but remember what we did...

[moongazeonastarfillednight]

The Terror: When, How, Where... (PART 1)

See part 2 for the end of my sanity (ep 6 through 9. Wasn't enough characters left on the post for ep 10)

See part 3 (and episode 10)

As I am writing the fic, I was getting frustrated at trying to figure out the timeline of the expedition. More specifically, what happens after they dropped the Victory Point Note.

Therefore, in order to organize my ideas, and also because it might be of interests to some of you, I will document here what I got.

Episode 1 through 5 for now.

Methodology

If we agree that the showrunners (and Dan Simmons to an extent) made their research, we should be able to match some of the event of the story with notable point of interests where artefacts and/or remains were found over the numerous searches made to ascertain the fate of the Franklin Expedition

I also tried to take note of all indications of time passing so that I might document their speed travel and the dates when they are not mentioned.

... And the death count. (Departing Beechey Island with 24 officers and 102 men)

Finally, I also used the following website to keep track of sunrises and sunsets: https://www.timeanddate.com/

1927 Admiralty Map

I may be an amateur in this kind of research but I find myself frustrated that the most complete map I've been able to find showing all that was found between 1850 and 1926 is shown on this map from 1927

To be noted, we now know that the Skeleton of H. Peglar was more probably W. Gibson or T. Armitage

The Skeleton of Lt. Le Vesconte has also been reevaluated and is now believed to be that of Harry Goodsir ( :( )

Also, as it happens, if we compare to 2024 maps, we can say that this is not the actual shape of KWI (close enough!).

Therefore, for my own sanity, I recreated with modern maps. Is it accurate? Well, I wouldn't publish it but I think it gives a good enough view of where they went and where they were going:

Where the Ships had drifted to in June 1847 (According to G. Gore's coordinates left on the Victory point note)

Where the Ships had drifted with the Pack by April 1848 (Victory Point Note)

Victory Point

McClintock's Boat Place (proposed to be same location as NgLJ-1)

Camp with Many skeletons

From D. Simmons' The Terror - The Hospital Camp

Peglar Skeleton

Starvation Cove

A Bunch of cairns in the area

Harry Goodsir

Gjoa Haven (Netsilik Settlement)

Fort Resolution (Dear God... look at how far they wanted to walk/Canoe/make portage...)

Matching the Show

Episode 1 - Go for Broke

Location 1 - David Young's grave (71.22, -96.60)

Date: September 5th 1846

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 14h 57 min

Twilight - 9h 03 min

Sunset: 7:51 PM - Sunrise: 4:55 AM

David Young was buried 7 days before they were beset in the ice (see point 3 on the map below).

During the dinner in which we were regaled by the tale of Mr. Fitzjames' Holes, Franklin discuss that they were approaching a bigger channel, which is now know as the McClintock Channel (see point 1 on the map below), meaning that at the time, they were still in the Franklin Strait.

On the day after his death, Franklin discuss their next course and assure that they must be 'nearly in sight of KW Land'. Crozier suggests it might take them weeks to actually make it to KWI. This would confirm what was infer above.

As we can see the two ships fitting in a cozy little cove while the grave is being dug, I would like to propose Point 4 on the map below as Ficitonal David Young's final resting place, on Tasmania Islands

Location 2 - Ships September 1846 (70.25, -98.00)

Date: September 12th 1846

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 13h 45 min

Twilight - 10h 15 min

Sunset: 7:19 PM - Sunrise: 5:34 AM

Well, for this one, we need to use the extrapolation provided by the 1927's Admiralty map by tracing the line from where the ships were known to be in 1847 and 1848 (Point 5 and 6). (see point 3)

For Future Reference:

Travel Time between Loc 1 and Loc 2 - 7 days

Distance between Loc 1 and Loc 2 :70 NM / 80 Miles / 130 km

Average Travel Speed - 11.4 miles a day

Travel Condition - Ice breaking

DEATH COUNT: 2 + 3 (Total 5)

24 Officers and 100 Men remaining

Episode 2 - Gore

Location 3 - The Ships in 1847 (70.15, -98.30)

Date: May 24th 1847

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 24h min

Twilight - None

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

Coordinates and Date From the Victory Point Note (see Point 1)

Location 4 - The Cairn (69.66, -98.27)

Date: May 28th 1847

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 24h min

Twilight - None

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

From the ships, Gore lead his party to James Clark Ross' Cairn.

Now, in the Show, they found JCR's Cairn without an issue. In reality, while Gore had found the Cairn just fine, Crozier and Fitzjames did not. One of the reason for it is that JCR had, apparently, made a miscalculation in reporting where he had erected the Cairn by several miles. Honestly, the way that Fitzjames had written the words was so confusing, I appreciate that the show made the whole thing so much simpler, ahah. So let's say that it matches what we know now as Victory Point. Easy Peasy! (see Point 2)

To be Noted, we know the dates of departure from ships and arrival at cairn from the Victory Point Note.

Location 5 - The Ice Camp (69.665, -98.32)

Date: May 28th 1847

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 24h min

Twilight - None

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

The Camp was raised just beyond the ice ridge that blocked the way form the shore and the Cairn was only a mile or so away. (see Point 3... hidden between point 2)

Of Note: That hail storm's cloud coverage was intense to say the least... So dark :')

Back to Loc 3 (70.15, -98.30)

Date: June 2nd 1847

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 24h min

Twilight - None

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

Wednesday is a good day to drink with the Captain :D which makes it the Wednesday following May 28th 1847! So it's June 2nd!

For Future Reference:

Loc 2 to Loc 3

Travel time - 8 months, 12 days or 254 days

Travel Distance: 8.6 NM / 10 miles / 16 km

Average Travel Speed - 0.04 miles a day

Travel Condition - Pack drifting

Loc 3 to Loc 4/5

Travel time - 5 days

Travel Distance: 29 NM / 33.5 miles / 54 km

Average Travel Speed - 6.7 miles a day

Travel Condition - 6 Men hauling Sledge on Ice

Loc 4/5 Back to Loc 3

Travel time - 4 days

Travel Distance: 29 NM / 33.5 miles / 54 km

Average Travel Speed - 8.4 miles a day

Travel Condition - 6 Men hauling ASS and Sledge on Ice

DEATH COUNT: 1 (Total: 6)

23 Officers and 100 Men remaining

Episode 3 - The Ladder

This one is fun because, well... they're not moving! I could point out where Silna ends up but it looks like she remain close enough to the ships that it doesn't matter all that much. So, let's just make note of the date and events:

Location 3 - Ships in June 1847 (70.15, -98.30)

For the duration of the episode:

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 24h min

Twilight - None

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

Date: between June 2nd and June 10th 1847

- Silna makes her igloo a few miles away from the Ships

Date: June 11th 1847

- Franklin Dies

- Crozier drafts his resignation letter

Date: June 12th 1847

- Franklin's leg is buried :')

- Lieutenant Fairholme is sent to KWI.

DEATH COUNT: 2 (Total: 8)

22 Officers and 99 Men remaining

Episode 4 - Punished, As a Boy

Another fun bottle Episode!

Location 3 - Ships in same approx position as June 1847 (70.15, -98.30)

Date: November 23rd 1847

Nighttime - 12h 35 min

Daylight - None

Twilight - 11h 25min

Sunset: 11:47 am - Sunrise: 10:51 am

- William Strong's birthday :)

- We know because it's the last sunrise of the year!

- Evans and Strong die :(

They searched for a long time if it was just before 4 pm when they got the alarm and then they came back in time for last sunrise at 11 am...

Date: November 24th 1847 to November 25th 1847

Nighttime - 12h 35 min

Daylight - None

Twilight - 11h 25min

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

- Hickey has a communion with Tuunbaq (supposedly next day or so)

- Then Hickey gets evily booped.

DEATH COUNT: 2 + Hickey's postern (Total: 10)

22 Officers and 97 Men remaining

Episode 5 - First Shot the Winner, Lads

More fun in a bottle. These boys are not going far...

Honestly, for this one, the trouble was figuring out how much time had passed. For one, we know it's not yet Christmas because Christmas is, in fact, mentioned in Episode 6 (And Lady Jane's Christmas Pudding, hear hear) as part of the meeting between the officer and there was not yet a cooperation between the Terror Lts and Fitzjames for counting the supplies.

ALSO! That scene where Mr. Wentzell got killed dead over his nail... well, it gave me the feeling that either the review of the crew is not daily or that they've been on Erebus for a short time because 1) Fitzjames doesn't know their names and 2) He has to repeat the instructions about cleanliness... Perhaps they sent the Terrors in waves and not all 50 of them at once.

Other details to be mentionned:

Hickey is not recovered yet and Goodsir suspects he might reopen his wounds from working.

Goodsir has had time to be quite good at speaking inuktitut. Now, he could have had a continuous learning experience from Dr. McDonald since June 47 and before but considering that Dr. McDonald is stationed in Terror and Goodsir in Erebus, I suspect they did not have much time to have a class together...

Finally. Crozier suggests that he would be 2, perhaps, perhaps more... sick from sobering up. He got up just in time for First sunrise (Jan 17th).

So! We can infer that the episode might have spanned over 1 or 2 days (what's with the movement between the ships and the whole Rat Wedding).

My best guess is that the dates for this whole episode would be:

Date: December 14th 1847 to December 18th 1847

Nighttime - 13h 32 min

Daylight - None

Twilight - 11h 28min

Sunset: N/A - Sunrise: N/A

Why December 14th? Because it would be Edward Little's Birthday and I feel like it is appropriate for his character to have his boss send him back to the killing cold for more booze :') (December 16th to December 20th seems more likely but...)

This would give Crozier a full month to recover from sobering up and 22 days for Goodsir to learn inuktitut (impressive!), for Hickey backside to feel better and for Fitzjames to NOT learn the name of his new Terrors.

DEATH COUNT: 3 + Blanky's leg (Total: 13)

22 Officers and 94 Men remaining

That's it for now. I'll do the last 5 episodes soonish...

Conclusion to the first sets of episode: Sunsets and Sunrises were whacky in June 1847 but, so far, distance and travel times make good sense. If the accuracy holds up until episode 10, we might be able to have a pretty good idea of what, when and where everything happened in episodes 6 through 10.

[clove-pinks]

I was up very late last night with academic things, and I can't believe I forgot that today is Henry Thomas Dundas Le Vesconte's 210th birthday!!!

Everyone's favourite Gemini, born in Netherton, Devon 14 June 1813!

His 32nd birthday in 1845 was celebrated aboard HMS Erebus, not yet in the arctic at that point in time. We have some idea of the activities of the day from the published letters of James Fitzjames:

A rainy and foggy day, but arranging books to make a "very capital library", with the traditional Royal Navy toast for sweethearts and wives—and Henry had a sweetheart in Henrietta Le Feuvre.

(Image descriptions in alt text)

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Thirty: Crozier

Now that Crozier's successfully sobered up, it's time for a command meeting to decide the next course of action.

First off, and breaking my heart, is a mention that Jopson is in the sickbay already showing signs of scurvy. I've annotated this with a sad face and the phrase 'very much not Jopping' for reasons unknown even to myself.

The whole gang's there, Terrors and Erebites, and the long and short of it is that Erebus is fucked. Terror is faring a bit better but still isn't great. We get Peglar's input on the subject - he and the other Captain of the Foretop are the only petty officers there. Two things strike me about his little passage:

Firstly, that he uses the word "catty-wampus" which just feels horrendously American and anachronistic to me - 0/10 don't like.

Secondly, that Crozier refers to him by his first name one minute, then returns to formality the next - ?/10 like and am intrigued by.

A definite 10/10 for me though is the touch of sass from Little that we get right afterwards and, best of all, it's directed at Le Vesconte: ""But there have been sightings," said Lieutenant Le Vesconte. "Something large moving among the seracs. And men on watch hear things in the dark." ""Men in watch at sea have always heard things in the dark," said Lieutenant Little. "Going back to the Greeks." Like, yass, this Ned did not come to fucking play, Dundy...!

Full marks also for Crozier's lovely little epiphany in the face of all the negativity that abounds in the room: "...Crozier found a strange, hot, pure flame burning in his chest. It was a sensation rather like a first sip of whisky after days without it, but also nothing at all like that." "Crozier wanted to live. It was that simple. He was determined to life. He was going to survive this bad patch in the face of all odds and gods dictating that he would not and could not. This fire in his chest had been there even in the shaky, sick hours and painful days after he had emerged from the pit of his malaria-and-withdrawal brush with death in early January. The flame grew stronger every day."

And fuller marks still to dear Bridgens, who goes out on a limb and suggests a march to the cache of stores at Fury Beach. Not necessarily because it's a good plan - it's no better or worse than anything else they've come up with and Crozier doesn't take him on in any case, is irritated by him even. But because of this clap-back: "Crozier sighed. "Are you in the habit of thinking like the Admiralty, Subordinate Officers' Steward Bridgens?" [Such a condescending little twat you are, Francis] ""Sometimes, yes," said the old man. "It's a habit of decades, Captain Crozier. After a while proximity to fools forces one to think like a fool."

[hetchdrive]

I think we’re reading May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth at roughly the same time and are currently at roughly the same parts. I just wanted to say I think that’s very cool of us 😌 Do you have any favorite letters so far?

You're right that is very cool of us! Let me just uhhh look through my notes...

So far my favorite letters have been Goodsir's letter to his dad which I reblogged from you, for the reasons in the post. Goodsir is so bluntly endearing, somehow. He seems very young. Oh I've just looked up how old Goodsir was when the expedition vanished and he was 28. Oh alright then. I'm emotional about this.

Other favorite letter so far was unexpectedly one of John Irving's, to his sister-in-law Catherine. This paragraph really hit me as like, a premonition of the upcoming disaster:

"I intended to write something to amuse you, but I find I cannot help being serious. Everything around me, and every duty I am engaged in, tend at present to make me so-- I mean all keep me so much alive the feeling of a long separation from those near and dear to me. Even in writing I am reminded that a terrible long pause of anxious suspense is before me, when I can only hope, without the prospect of tidings of good or ill. So, my dear Katie, do not blame me that you should have been, whilst reading the mass of scribbling, obliged to banish your usual smiles. I will write you yet again, so I shall not take a very formal farewell of you at this time. My most brotherly love to my dear Lewis. --Yours very affectionately, John Irving."

Irving also sent back to England a number of drawings. Several men did but Irving's seem to be the best of the ones included in the book. Also, of two skeletons returned to England at the time of the McClintock expedition, one of them was identified as Irving by the presence of a maths medal next to the body, which I find deeply endearing. This book has made me a big Irving fan, honestly. Didn't have any strong feelings about him before starting reading this and now I'm like ough... my guy.

My other observation so far is that it seems like Franklin was unfairly characterized in the show, as his letters so far paint a picture of a fairly cautious man.

It is Fitzjames who is the king of hubris.

There are multiple letters where the endnotes make note of how the things he is saying shows he does not have a good understanding of the Arctic and that's really interesting to me from the perspective of seeing show!Crozier and Fitzjames' relationship conflict early on as coming from a place of Crozier's experience vs Fitzjames' support of Franklin's dismissal of him, with the idea (I had always thought) being that Franklin thinks his feelings of optimism and belief God will see them through are substitutes for dealing with the material realities of that place. And like, no! Actually that should have been Fitzjames, going off these letters! But it makes sense from a character writing perspective. Foolish, foolish man. Excited to see how my opinion of this evolves as I continue to read.

Also, Fitzjames' aggressive confidence in repeatedly pestering John Barrow Jr. about whether he's gotten the position or not is honestly kind of inspiring in a "if this man from the 1840s can speak like he knows anything when he clearly doesn't I myself should step up game in these job interviews". There's one particular letter that absolutely floored me, and it was the 11th of February one:

"In case of Crozier's appointment I send you a letter to Beaufort asking him to try for Le Vesconte which pray send at once as soon as you know I am not to go-- if I am appointed tear it up-- .... Mind I am in confident expectations of the Second Ship in Franklin's expedition nothing else is worth having." [I have used italics where there were underlines]

Nothing else is worth having. Absolutely awful, vainglorious man. This has made me dearly want to write my own version of my headcanon first meeting of "Fitzjames puffs himself up, fails to impress Crozier, feels rejected about it and forms a grudge" because holy shit, he is actually so much worse than I already thought. Also because "nothing else is worth having" would be a banger title.

I do appreciate that Fitzjames seems to have been a man who is eager to lift other men up, as this is not the only time he makes suggestions to Barrow Jr. about appointments and promotions-- if he was obsessed with status for himself he was at least trying to lift his friends up, as well. Pity this doesn't extend to Crozier! Would have been a very different expedition if it did!

Wow, long post which I took so long to write, my bad. What are your own favorite letters so far?

[corleonewrites]

Wandering winds

AU: The Terror (2018)

James Fitzjames x Original Female Character fanfic

Summary: Alexandra Walton’s life was always surrounded with sea: either it was her walks near the seashore with its cold waters, or deep sea of her senses. Her father taught her to throw herself headlong into it, without fear of being drowned and she used to it since her childhood. She dived into love with the same courageous way. And even when everything and everyone was talking about the hopeless state of things she continued to believe in the opposite: that her loved one will return to her safely.

Chapter 3. And visions rise, and change, that kill me with desire

______________________________________________________________

Names of heroes, who have received their medals and honors that evening echoed through the huge ceremonial hall in the Admiralty, filling in the space, where the walls were decorated with big paintings of sea, seaside and great noble officers who once served for Royal Navy. The portrait of my grandfather Lord William was among them.

Officers stood sharply in their line, waiting to receive their awards: Alexander and Graham stood together, their gazes were looking above the guests.

My eyes were on my brother, who was receiving his Golden Order of Distinction for Bravery and Courage in serving for the Crown and the Queen. Never before he looked so proud and so handsome. I’ve heard that a couple of ladies were dying to be with him, but I knew that his heart belonged to the sea and to his ships. He didn’t have time to concentrate on romantic duties at that moment.

I doubted Alexander’s words about him finding me good partner: I knew myself perfectly well. I was egoistic, I had pride, and my own prejudices, I couldn’t take mediocrity at all. My father raised me well, he taught me how to hold my head high under any circumstances and not being afraid to show my character. It was very difficult to find a man who could, actually, understand me and could be on the same level with me or even more mature and strong.

I looked around the hall, trying to see familiar faces of officers or ladies who were among the guests: Henry Le Vesconte was sitting a few rows away from us, on the left. My gaze then fell on Captain Sir James Clark Ross and then at Captain Francis Crozier, but then I imperceptibly shifted my gaze on Sophia, who was sitting right in front of me with her uncle Sir John Franklin and her aunt Lady Jane.

I knew about Sophia’s affair with Captain Crozier. She told me about it during one of our meetings, in the quiet afternoon when we were walking down the street after the meeting in the book club. I didn't know how close they were to each other, but every time when Sophia was talking about him, her cheeks turned slightly red and her eyes sparkled when she told me about their secret meetings, their private talks in the garden, I've never seen her in such joyful attitude.

But she knew that there could not possibly be anything more than what they had: she was secretly engaged to Captain Ross, but she didn’t tell it to Crozier. Not before the reception.

I could understand her: both of us were similar in terms of our families’ positions: when relatives and ancestors came from noble families – it was our duty to marry someone with the same rank, not lower than that.

My friend was looking forward for the ball: not only she wanted to enjoy herself but she also couldn’t wait to find me someone suitable there. To be honest, I didn’t think about falling in love, and Sophia’s talks and her and Alexander's encouraging towards finding me good officer sounded amusing.

______________________________________________________________

Sophia tried to explain to me recently what it felt like to have a feeling of being in love with someone:

“You will know this for sure, don’t worry, Alexandra”, she smiled at me and took my hands in hers, “You will feel it and you won’t mistake it with any kind of another feeling”

I visited her house for a cup of tea in the afternoon: the small table was full of biscuits, small sandwiches, scones with butter and jam, the books which we were reading at that time were laying on the table surface as well.

Just how it usually was: a heated discussion about the characters and the story of the books turned into talks about our life, particularly about love interests. Sophia told me about her desires and her secret romantic encounters with Francis Crozier since I didn’t have anyone in particular and never had any experience in love and romance before.

“The problem is…”, I sighed and took my cup with tea from the table, “…that all men who surround me when I attend balls or receptions are not in my interest and they never were…”

She smiled cunningly and said, as if she knew some kind of secret, which she couldn’t tell me:

“But I bet you haven’t seen officers who’re coming from the war. You never know where you’ll meet the one you will love and they will love you back”

For a bare moment my hand with the cup twitched when I wanted to take a sip of a tea again, but the hot drink didn’t spill.

"My God, Sophia, you're just like Alexander", I replied mockingly, "How can you be so sure that, as you're saying, the special one will be at the reception?"

But my friend shrugged her shoulders as if she was the prophetess:

"Believe me, my dear Alexandra, I know what I'm saying"

______________________________________________________________

Ladies in dresses in the latest Parisian fashion and admirals in their uniform with shining gold medals and swords filled in the great hall, their dialogues mixed together with the music playing on the background and created unique pattern of laughter and violins.

The ball had just begun: the dancing part hasn't started yet, everyone in the room gathered in small circles and talked, discussing latest news. My father was nowhere to be seen: he probably went with Captain Lord John Franklin to more quiet room where they could calmly drink whiskey and discuss future expeditions.

Sophia and I passed officers, ladies and waiters with trays full of champagne glasses by until we found empty corner of the big room where we could talk.

Firstly, I saw Alexander, who was surrounded by Graham and Henry, who were talking emotionally about something that I couldn't possibly hear. There was another man standing together with them which face I didn’t see: he was saying something very amusing as Alexander, Graham and Henry laughed aloud.

I sipped champagne from my glass and turned back to Sophia, but before I wanted to put it on the table, I heard Sophia whispered to my ear: “I think that we’re being spied on, Alex”. I looked at her and she nodded her head towards the place where my brother was standing.

I turned my eyes and finally saw him: tall, handsome and well-complexed man, his face features were sharp, his brown hair was slightly curled, only then I saw shining medals on his chest: one of them was the same one which my brother was awarded with the same day. That is why I haven't seen him before: he just returned from the war.

“Oh…”, I couldn’t say anything else and forced myself to look away and return to the conversation with Sophia, but the idea of asking my brother to introduce us was circling in my head. It wasn't possible for me to think of something else from that moment when our eyes met.

As if Alexander did indeed read my thoughts: his voice suddenly could be heard too close to my back. All three of his interlocutors followed him.

"Here you are, Alex", Alexander smiled at me, and nodded to Sophia, "Miss Cracroft", and then he turned to me again, taking my hand in his:

"Before the dances began – I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, we've met during the war: Commander James Fitzjames"

So that was the commander about which he told our father earlier the same day. The one who came from war with him and the one who, as my brother thought, could be the one for me. I couldn't believe that I needed to admit that, probably, my brother was correct.

Alexander stepped back, when the man stepped a little further, nodding to me and taking my hand in his in order to kiss it.

In that moment I gasped for air, as if the room began hot, small and too crowded:

“Great pleasure to meet you, mister Fitzjames”, when I said that our eyes met for the second time and only then I had the chance to look at them closer: his hazel-green eyes attracted me even more.

“The pleasure is all mine, miss Walton”, in one moment it felt like James didn’t want to release my hand: both of us were afraid to let it go, being afraid that this meeting was our common dream.

“Charming evening, isn’t it, mister Fitzjames?”, Sophia asked him, when Alexander, Graham and Henry surrounded us, taking sips from their glasses of champagne.

“Indeed, miss Cracroft.”, the man replied, but then his eyes were on me again, “I arrived to London today and was afraid that I was late for the reception: the road from Brighton was unpleasant and too slow”

“Well, I’m glad you arrived just in time, mister Fitzjames”, I smiled at him, when Alexander got involved into our conversation:

“James was a Commander of our ship together with me during the capture of Zhenjiang, that’s where we met, and, oh, James, you must tell Alexandra about your adventures”, my brother was very enthusiastic about it that I got very interested in hearing it as well, but James just smiled slightly, as if it was not such a big deal.

He didn’t have a proper chance to reply: the musicians began to play the first music piece of the evening and first pairs of ladies and officers made their way to the center of the room. I looked around the room once again for a brief second, questioning myself if James liked to dance with me and then I heard his reply to Alexander’s words:

“I guess we should find more convenient time for talks, I’m afraid”

Then he held out his hand to me:

“May invite you to a dance, miss Walton?”

Our eyes met for the third time.

“I would love to, mister Fitzjames”, I was afraid that I could accidentally say James instead of formal mister Fitzjames as it was obligatory for high-class society where we were.

I promised myself that I would call him James soon.

As we made our way to dance it felt like all the eyes were suddenly on us: ladies looked at James, officers looked at me, our couple was not only in the center of the dance hall but in the center of the attention.

He took my right hand in his and placed his left hand on my waist, and I just pressed myself closer to him, glaring into his eyes. Amazingly how a complete stranger turned my senses upside down within minutes. It never happened to me before.

With every new move, with every turn I made I caught curious glances from people I knew quite well: Alexander was smiling cunningly at us and sipping his champagne, Graham and Henry couldn't take their eyes off us, talking to each other periodically. At one point Sophia disappeared: she probably found a company either with Captain Crozier or Ross, or, maybe, even with both.

James and I didn't talk much during dances. It wasn't that we didn't know what to say as we wanted to get to know each other better: we didn't want to break particular feeling of secrecy and magic of that particular night at the ball.

The air was so electrified that for a moment it became scary that everything would sparkle like flashes. The time disappeared, it just stopped, we were dancing through the night smoothly, without changing partners. We couldn’t do it. I think that both of us knew that.

I began to imagine how every lady in the room whispered to each other what it meant: that the engagement between me and Commander Fitzjames would be announced soon. It was an obvious thing for everyone who saw us, as my brother told me later, but I didn't really think about it at that time: in that particular moment it was only me and James, and no one else.

There was a brief pause between dances when we had chance to catch our breath and refresh ourselves with drinks and talks with others. James took my hand and we reached the small table near the wall, where not only Alexander but also my father was waiting for us.

______________________________________________________________

"Oh, James must tell you about his time during the war", my brother said to me half-dreamily and half-drunk, "Did I tell you that James is one of the best and loyal commanders in the Royal Navy?"

It was early in the morning when the carriage brought us back home. Father left the ball soon after he met James, when he, Alexander and I stayed almost until the end, when the clock in the hall struck four in the morning.

My father and James had very meaningful conversation, when all four of us were standing in the corner of the dance hall: they discussed the war, commander’s plans about his future plans and duties in the Royal Navy, where did he come from, where was he staying. All those things that interested my father, especially if that someone paid attention to me. But by the look in my father’s eyes, I could tell that he was pleased with Fitzjames: how he looked, how he behaved, what did he say and all those small but important details which I couldn’t see.

The last word if it was the matter of such potential romantic involvements was after both me and my father: he always paid attention to what I said and felt, and my opinion was most important to him. That is why we never argued about such things as we always listened to each other in our family. Our priorities were above all the other things.

Before we left the Admiralty, Commander Fitzjames kissed my hand once again, this time it was for farewell. It was a short separation – he said quietly to me that he would like to meet me once again if I allowed him to. I couldn't possibly reject it, as my heart was beating as fast as never before when I looked at him and his beautiful eyes.

"You know that it's not the only thing that is curious about him", I sighed and leaned back on the carriage soft seat, slightly drunk as well. Only at that time I realised that my feet hurt badly after the endless night of dances, "He's not like anyone else I know. Not those friends of yours, not other officers in Navy, not any other man..."

"And he's also not only a great friend of mine but also one of the most handsome enviable bachelors as well", Alexander teased me, leaning his back on the seat near me.

I rolled his eyes, but smiled at him: despite the fact that we were not children anymore – my brother loved to tease me whenever he could.

"Oh, and father approves him", Alexander couldn't stop talking, beginning to mimic father's voice, "He said "Commander Fitzjames is a very good lad for our dear Alexandra. And Graham is a small boy comparing to him"

"He never talks like that!", I laughed, "And he never said anything about Gore. Father knows that Graham and Le Vesconte are yours and mine friends and romantic involvement was never a question"

"Oh, I know this, my dear little sister", he sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder, "But father did indeed approve James...", he said those words and my heart skipped a beat for a bare second, "You know that he wants you to be happy, no matter who you will choose as your loyal husband, and so do I"

He kissed my forehead. I was quiet for a moment. Only clattering sounds of horseshoes on the cobblestones could be heard.

"I know it, Alex", I finally replied quietly to my brother, and slightly leaned my head on his.

______________________________________________________________

The sounds of music were still echoing in my head when I put my hand in the pillow. I was so excited and overwhelmed that it took time for me to finally fall asleep.

All I could think about before my thoughts transformed into dreams was James and his beautiful eyes, the way of how he looked at me and tried to hold my hand tight when we were dancing together.

The clocks on the small bedside table were ticking away the final few memories from the most unforgettable ball night in the Admiralty.

Surprisingly, how both Sophia and Alexander were right: that I could find someone who I could love and who would care about me, to whom I could open myself.

And that someone, and I knew that inside my heart, was Commander James Fitzjames.

______________________________________________________________

Wandering winds masterlist

[unnecessaryligatures]

Dave time!! Twitter is limiting how many tweets people can view now (🙄) so I am parking myself here (this will be thoughts about #davebenjo day 7, episodes 8-10 session 2; I'll edit the content under the cut as we go)

Dave continues to be wrong about Bridglar

Bridglar domestic at home real!! Also the way Dave talks about "when they get home"..."when they get home they'll find a way to live together"...dave...I'm sorry to tell you this...

I want to watch the terror camp panel about what medically went wrong

I also hope we get a terror camp talk about Silna's family. I love how much I'm learning about her culture just from these questions

two-spirit silna!!!

Dave being so strongly affected by Christos's monologue!! dave!! dave!!! Also he's right, Paul's acting in that scene with his eyes was amazing

"How do you create such a supportive environment on set?" 🥺🥺🥺

"Actors think out loud a lot" lmao

Scripts show them bus stops on their journey, and the actors have to figure out how to get from point A to point B. If the script isn't helping them, they can't figure out how to get from point A to point B, and then it's Dave's job to get them back on track.

Dave talking about how much he loves actors and will do anything for them 🥺🥺🥺

The director and showrunner's roles are to talk to the actors and find out what they need, then be as flexible as possible to give that to them

Episode 9 as a montage...damn

Dave's answer to the "when does Hickey become irredeemable" question...it's when he sees the hill they're going to camp beneath! Yes! Yes!! This is when he no longer acts to save himself, but thinks he can access the Netsilik mythology. The transgression that is actually unforgivable! I love that

Why didn't Hickey show signs of poisoning after eating Goodsir? They did have shots of Adam cramping, but no good ones so they skipped them. Adam had some explanation for why he wouldn't be as affected but Dave didn't really get it

Me: Hickey had probably experienced worse in his terrible childhood

Also me: Cramping? Trans Hickey real

A disaster exposes what's best and worst in us, often at the same time

Dave has only watched the show 8 or 10 times XD I definitely thought it would be more, but I guess that's a lot when you also wrote it, edited the script, were there when it was filmed, and edited the footage after

Ohhh no, in Goodsir's last moments, he thinks about the things that brought him joy, not people

Tuunbaq's death: intentionally put Anglican church music over his death to be the most offensive, in the sense that it's from Crozier's POV and he believes he is the main character and just vanquished a foe, not realizing that he just killed the main character (!!!)

Taking notes of ensemble horror films with naturalistic characters that Dave mentions: Black Christmas, The Fog

Dave is fine with his work being in the "missed by most, but fiercely loved by some" category: good!!

The setting itself can be scary if it's a horror setting (e.g. a haunted house); The Terror is like that. Pen in the chat: "also a haunted house to some is a home to others!" Yes!!

Dave might have originated the "Dundy" nickname for Le Vesconte XD It makes sense to him that JFJ would dole out nicknames. Yes!!

Oh nooooo they did ask the "body retains sensation after death" when Silna sees Goodsir....no....no!!!

"If you take 128 men, one of them is bound to have killed someone" 😂

"I think he dislikes murder in some respects" 🥺 thank u dave. Hickey has been in a horror story for years before the story starts...!!! The general idea that Hickey is just so tired of having to murder as was mentioned last week lmao

To understand Gibson, think of someone who knows he is just as good as someone in university but knows he will never get that opportunity. Ugghhhh dave talking about Gibson's intelligence always makes me !!!

"I don't fuck with how people pray, how they love, and how they grieve" ❤️

Love this question about the laundry!! Completely missed the longjohns. This is so interesting. I love that there's always more to explore in this show

Dave cracking up talking about Herodotus 😂 it comes highly recommended

So appreciate the question about who would have taken the "opportunity to participate in cannibalism" ldfkads (my kind of question)

POLL TIME

[stoportotouch]

today, i present to you... a little... and...? le vesconte playlist.

sorry for the slightly silly title but i cannot stress enough how much the relationship between these two has the potential to fuck me up. it really is... little feels too much as a result of his trauma. le vesconte feels too little because of it. and the one time that they could have stood to sympathise with each other or meet in the middle, when ned was at his very lowest, dundy tries but not hard enough.

i. we will commit wolf murder | of montreal

when i die i want you to die too, not try to stay in this all in a dimension without you, spit on this planet without you i envy you because you could believe in things like i never could and, like, dose yourself into a coma over the bestiality of our race.

ii. big black bull comes like a caesar | munly and the lee lewis harlots

when my brother was a child, he was given an animal he raised it up to be a big black bull; it never did low, or pitch, or sway it never ride on the back of a flatbed

iii. we are gods! we are wolves! | le loup

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon, close enough to see our low condition. and did you ever wish that we were one? have you ever known your maker? could you lead your song aloft the mountain tops? you could never swing that dagger.

iv. alexander's feast, part ii: 'revenge, revenge! timotheus cries' | george frederick handel

behold a ghastly band, a ghastly band each a torch in his hand these are grecian ghosts, that in battle were slain and unburied remain: inglorious on the plain.

v. the killing type | amanda palmer

but i would kill to make you feel; i'd kill to move your face an inch i see you staring into space, i want to stick my fist into your mouth and twist your arctic heart

vi. a soreness so familiar it soon becomes unquestioned | crywank

when i sass you with a smile i see you didn't notice the quiver in my voice, the fact my bow is broken i had a nosebleed when i woke up then i didn't go to work i find my problems are all first-world but still i'm feeling hurt am i just a spoiled brat who taught themselves how to cry? who's so preconditioned now all their emotions are a lie? i close my eyes and look inside; no surprise i find nothing. it's people who shape each other and people are disgusting.

vii. alligator teeth | mother falcon

i will turn my friends to gold, for the treasury to hold them safely while they dream and how they dream, if they dream

viii. land of broken promises | iamx

turn the bad blood into good, bring the laughter, bring the love drink again 'cause everyone forgets in the land of broken promises

ix. puppet loosely strung | the correspondents

in the past you would have been seen as a family's disgrace now they think you're putting on a brave face they might fear that one day they'll wear your shoes but you're the one who's laughing; you had nothing to lose

x. great vacation | dirt poor robins

romans and countrymen, please lend me your ears: there's some late-breaking news i know you'd like to hear but the papers won't print it, and the tvs just won't air. nobody gets the word, 'cause there's nobody there.

xi. incident in a medical clinic | rasputina

quite unbelievably, i want someone to be sweet to me when i'm in absolutely horrible pain.

xii. incitatus | mishkin fitzgerald

my left hand is a whip and a bandage, free to choose where the mark or brand is each one knows how to hide in the carnage: hey're hiding, they're hiding. time's running out for the rats in the playground, cut straight down like a thief in a small town shots rack em up, pin a tail on the donkey: you've got a lot to answer for.

xiii. inside of you, in spite of you | thoushaltnot

i am inside of you, in spite of you with strength and sacred grace but for all you do, i'll carry you from this bitter place

xiv. god help you dumb boy | reverend glasseye

'dumb boy, what are you made of?' my eyes are lazy, my skin doth flake. 'then what good can you do?' not so much as men like you. 'dumb boy, what do you see?' a lesser man, coming down on me. 'tell us, what will you do?' i'll let my axe come down on you.

xv. the hand that feeds | the crane wives

i've seen good men spoiled, chained to their jobs like hounds they work, and sleep, and work again; in the darkest nights they howl their cries are a warning to everyone following: no man should stand to work all of his days and have nothing at the end of them.

xvi. what have they done to you now? | daniel knox

what have they done to you now? old familiar friends to fill your heart with grief and agony a little friendly conversation, character assassination i just don't care any more. i don't wanna know.

xvii. we'll all soon be dead | this way to the egress

the pitchfork's in the hay and we'll live another day as long as we can get through one more night this land's getting rotten, and i have to shake my head 'cause the cattle's sick and we'll all soon be dead.

xviii. lullaby | american murder song

troubles, and marks, and sakes to keep blow out the candle and go to sleep. high hang the moon that looks to the west, tied to your pillow, and twice 'round your chest

xix. danse macabre | the oh hellos

xx. my nightmare | phemiec

in my mightmare tonight, i'll see me, all consumed and attempting to sing disharmonious tunes with you asynchronicity, i am in misery i am in misery! what has been done to me?

xxi. hellfire | the mechanisms

your soul is connected to the world you're in you're dragging it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation, and you just give in. we're falling into the flames.

xxii. edward | american murder song

after the spring, you shall find him after the snow leaves the hill after the spring, you shall find him. 'till then, there's no grave to fill.

xxiii. july | american murder song

outside, the tree coughed up blood 'stead of leaves coughs from the floorboards, coughs from the eaves i climbed the coughing tree, noose on my sleeve: i ain't going nowhere; i ain't going going nowhere.

xxiv. no children | the mountain goats

and i hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.

xxv. leather for hell | bitter ruin

euthanasia is gonna save ya; it's the kindest thing to do and you don't know it yet but every time you take that breath ten thousand other people suffer 'cause they feel the way i do.

xxvi. a deer mistaking candles for headlights | crywank

does the blank stare scare you more than the frown? am i the reason that you feel down? distant yet rational; bringer of rage to get to a level where i will engage i am a tentacle; incapacitated obstacle. i am obsolete and apathetic, thoughtlessly apologetic watch my actions (or lack thereof) negate the person that i said i was.

xxvii. eat you | caravan of thieves

i'm gonna eat you, you're my desire i'm gonna sharpen all my teeth and build a fire. i'm gonna eat you; cook and defeat you i'm gonna breathe you in my lungs and make you mine.

xxviii. destroy everything you touch | unwoman

destroy everything you touch today. destroy me this way anything that may desert you, so it cannot hurt you you only have to look behind you, at who's undermined you destroy everything you touch today. please. destroy me this way.

xxix. heretic pride | the mountain goats

i want to cry out, but i don't scream and i don't shout and i feel so proud to be alive and i feel so proud when the reckoning arrives.

xxx. pump shanty | the mechanisms

a transport mission, gone awry attacked by cole and left to fry is no excuse, boys, let us cry: "today is not the day we die!"

xxxi. bremen | pigpen theatre co.

but how long did we think we could walk, we could sing before our voices gave out and our limbs gave in on the road, on the road, on the road, on the road, on the way, on the way, on the way to bremen, to bremen, to bremen

xxxii. automatonic electronic harmonics | steam powered giraffe

i am not an unimaginable thing; my thoughts are tangible though they're full of springs i don't have the heart to send you untruthful words my skin is cold to the touch and made from the earth

xxxiii. never love an anchor | the crane wives

there are times when i still wonder about you: you are someone i have loved, but never known and you'll never see the reasons i had for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you. i am selfish, i am broken, i am cruel: i am all the things they might have said to you do you ever think of me and my two hands and wonder why they never soothed your fevers

xxxiv. my mom | kimya dawson

and he goes limp in your arms all the peoples' mouths are moving all you hear are car alarms and you wake up and start to cry i will lose my shit if even one more person i know dies so please don't die.

xxxv. allies or enemies | the crane wives

remember when i could tell you not to smile when you were mad and you would always crack, and we'd both be laughing in the end now you're not so quick to forget -- are we allies or enemies what happens now, do we have another go do we bow out and take our separate roads i'll admit, i've had my doubts, but i want to be let in, not out

xxxvi. beneath the brine | the family crest

now my heart is bound, like a plague upon this sound and oh, it slips away, such soft decay -- then it grows oh, young love, young dear, why have you taken me from the fall all of my love, all of my life, given to you, sacrificed stay clear of the wreckage: she goes down, down, down

xxxvii. mars | sleeping at last

though time is ruthless, it showed us kindness in the end by slowing down enough: a second chance to make amends so we found our way back home, let our cuts and bruises heal while a brand-new war began, a war that no-one else could feel

xxxviii. dance while the sky crashes down | jason webley

like that, the earth begins to quiver, and all the oceans turn to black a ship of maniacs with knives are playing blackjack with their lives to kill the time until the giant rats attack it's raining leprosy and acid; the saints were taken out and shot when someone proffers you a pear you sink your teeth in unaware that just beneath the skin lies pestilence and rot

xxxix. animal skin | bryan dunn

i can see it in their eyes: they're coming for you, honey painted faces, sharpened knives. do you think it's funny if you dress it up, you'll have to break it in but you never look better than when you wear your animal skin

xl. love, love, love | the mountain goats

love, love is gonna lead you by the hand into a white and soundless place now we see things as in a mirror, dimly then, we shall see each other face to face and way out in seattle young kurt cobain snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet through his brain snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above some moments last forever, but some flair out with love, love, love

[ltgeorgehodgson]

Lieutenant Hodgson? What have you been doing with Lieutenant Le Vesconte??? 👀👀

hm? oh, nothing, really! we had a little disagreement but it's all resolved now :)

[clove-pinks]

As I settle down to start on this week's reading for class, I'm thinking about how recent assigned reading focused on imperialism in the 19th century—and they really had a bit in the textbook about steam-powered gunboats in China's Grand Canal in the First Opium War (mentioning Nemesis), and I was all excited because Henry T.D. Le Vesconte was there!! :D

And wouldn't you know it, there was also a mention of the attack by British troops on the Burmese port of Rangoon in 1824, with this picture (although it didn't explicitly mention the First Anglo-Burmese War)

And omg Captain Marryat was there! Of course I know this picture! :D

Anyway I don't know why I am somehow surprised that my Beloved Historical Figures appear (adjacently) in a 19th century imperialism module, but here we are.