#we don't need everyone to be 100% correct about every fucking point

[hadesoftheladies]

radblr needs to get comfortable with having nuanced conversations with "no clear winner"

sometimes people just need space to talk through their complex experiences without being relentlessly fact-checked. consciousness-raising takes listening to each other, not just talking at each other.

[muzsmoux]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Y'all I'm - I'm so tired y'all

I get this often. It's understandable. I've said a lot in the past of how I believe no canonical age that can be proven - the same way there's hundreds of characters who's sexuality or nationality can't be proven.

But the problem is people saying things likes this and feeling no need whatsoever to back themselves up.

Hobie Has No Age, Stop Giving No Evidence.

[a SHORT RANT about the lack of evidence and sourcing within fandom - and the Hobie age discussion]

I genuinely believe you can headcanon him at any reasonable age (as in not 42 or 12 or something).

The problem with this is saying something like this as if it's definitive fact then making no attempt to back up your argument isn't helpful, okay, or appropriate.

In any context.

And it happens everywhere in fandom. All the time.

By saying things like this, or even stating objective facts about the world without backing yourself up with evidence, means you expect others to take you at face value with no additional questioning.

Which you should never encourage others to do. Which no one should ever do.

Once again, I believe you can headcanon Hobie at any age. I genuinely do not care.

I think he's 19-20.

I have evidence for why I think this.

Does this evidence mean I am 100% correct on his age and that I have the right to tell people otherwise?

No. Because it hasn't been confirmed.

But if you're going to tell me my stance is wrong, you have to be ready to engage with every single one of my evidence points so I can understand why it's wrong. You will have to present you own evidence, and defend it.

So often people will say an assertion objectively like this - and then immediately expect the other person to defend themselves.

Even though they haven't even defended their argument to begin with.

You don't walk up to someone and ask their name before you say yours.

You don't walk up to someone and demand their argument/rebuttal or submission to your opinion, without even stating the entirety of the opinion first.

This is something that is so common in this specific conversation - but it goes WAY outside if the realm of the ATSV fandom or even fandom in general.

If you state fact, an opinion, a rebuttal, a criticism, what have you - please back yourself up.

And I mean with screenshots and dialogue and gifs if you gotta.

In all subjects. All topics of all degrees.

I don't think Hobie has a canonical age.

I do think Hobie is around 19-20, in my interpretation. I have evidence that makes be confident and sound in my decision to write him as such.

And I think everyone holds the individual right to make such an interpretation for themselves.

But if you wish to engage someone else on how they interpret Hobie - engage them fully. Back yourself up.

Do not expect them to reply apologizing to you - because let's be honest. I feel like that's what y'all want and expect.

That when you say a one line statement like it's objective fact with no follow up, the expectation is for the other person to be like

'Sorry, I didn't know! I'll edit/take the post down now :) thanks for telling me'

Because really, what other answer can you give? Just saying 'Hobie is a minor' and nothing more leaves only two options: accept what they're saying as fact or defend yourself on why you think he isn't.

Y'all genuinely do not expect to be questioned.

ABSOLUTELY NOT - You better speak into the mic!!

Come with screenshots and script lines. And if you can't - Then it isn't true. And it isn't definite.

I will almost never accept something on face value without getting at least some form evidence from a reputable source. And I say almost because we all fuck up, but ideally I' m striving for never.

I've already stated in the past why I think this conversation is absolutely fruitless.

But if you want to engage in it regardless - or engage in any fandom discourse - Engage with it fully.

If you're going to engage me, engage with me fully. I'm completely open to talking about it and looking over any evidence you have.

But saying things like

- Well I know young people who look like him-

- I know young people who act like him-

- People are making him look older-

- He most likely has a fake ID-

None of that is evidence.

All of that is pure speculation. And there is a stark difference between justification and evidence.

If your justification isn't coming from the source material - the script, movie, or writers - it isn't evidence or proof.

You can use that justification to root your own interpretation - but once you make the assertion that he definitively is or isn't (which can't be proven) - at the very least, the burden is on you to provide evidence that is sufficient.

Doing stuff like this is so unhelpful.

Multiple times have I seen people ask how old Hobie is and someone will reply '17🥰' and the other person will be like 'okay thanks!!'

And I'm like '????????'

So that's it huh ... yous just... not gonna ask no follow up questions? we done here?

And the chain reaction just continues.

Not I, Not I! I'd rather die - for in these streets, you niggas lie.

Hobie has no canonical age or sexuality or heritage. He doesn't have a canonical middle name either.

Yet, people desperately try to make a definitive assertion on only one of those things - for the benefit of nothing but their own shipping -

And then they don't provide evidence.

Always ask for evidence.

In person too. I will speak from experience people get offended when you ask them "Where'd you hear that," or "Can I have a source, please? Text me a link." or "What's your proof?"

They take it as a question of authority or a lack of trust.

And maybe it is. Doesn't matter and I don't care. Questioning authority and not going off blind trust is good, I thought that's what we were told to do.

I find this so ironic to talk about right now - because just yesterday @layz-chipz (they're great check them out) was talking about potentially making a video essay about the Hobie age discourse, the futility of it and the fragility of the arguments.

And I can say it's a video that's sorely needed (no pressure though!) and a conversation that has unnecessarily dominated the community and conversation for way too goddamn long.

It needs to be - in the words of Hobie Brown - SQUASHED.

and to reiterate and make it clear - My issue it's not with people who think he's underage or a minor. Or people who do so without evidence.

My issue it's people asserting something, and then not supporting it directly after said assertion.

Hobie wouldn't like that. Hobie would want you to cite your sources. Or mind your business. Oh and-

IMO Hobie as of right now has no canonical age.

And if you read this far I love you

Anyway here's a really high res photo of Hobie and a meme i have no other place to use 😭😭

[wisehearts]

i dont understand the idea of service during sex that i've seen a lot in byler fan spaces. it seems to be about someone preferring to pleasure their partner over pleasuring themselves, or perhaps actually getting their pleasure from seeing their partner receiving it? but isnt that just normal healthy sex lol

the only alternative i can think of is someone who only has sex for themselves and basically uses their partner's body as a masturbation tool (something that a lot of douchebag men do unfortunately) which ofc is not an ideal scenario you would write for your fictional favs. i guess there could also be two people who are having sex and enjoying it, but still mainly in it for their own pleasure? but surely it's not possible to connect with someone during sex at all unless you keep their pleasure in mind anyway? hope you can help

hey! you're absolutely correct that it sounds like normal healthy sex (that's why I like exploring it!), I'd say "getting pleasure from seeing their partner receive it" is the meat of what a service top/partner is - so no need to worry about the alternative you mentioned! Some people think it means submissive but it really doesn't necessarily, at least from how I've interacted with it in life. and there's no 100% concrete definition, but it's less the general mutual "oh I'm making them feel good, we make each other feel good" of sex and more they actually get off on what they can do for their partner and don't necessarily expect the same thing back and are still just as fulfilled.

I like it for mike atm, but I see resistance for the role in general sometimes and I think there are two other things people can consider to help get a better understanding of why it's a totally valid and fun way to enjoy sex:

people's quite limited view of sex, whether due to inexperience or lack of knowledge

the belief that a partner can only experience their personal maximum pleasure from being the receiver is pretty basic. everyone has different likes, kinks, boundaries etc that to others might be a total turn off, there isn't one way to achieve full pleasure is my point! a simple example of some different forms of pleasure might be women who like to be held down vs a dominatrix, does that make sense? hopefully!

sex and love are not transactional

some people would genuinely think (and I've seen this) character A wouldn't be satisfied in life, or it's "unfair" if they don't also get fucked to completion, or fucked the same way they did character B, when it's simply not the only way to enjoy sex (this doesn't apply to eg. someone who finishes and then the sex is just over they don't bother helping their partner out 🍅 not what I'm talking about here). No one is cared for less (in fiction especially) just because one partner wasn't fucked the same way they did to the other, it's about sexual compatibility

so those points in relation to byler - for me! - are why I like mike getting off on will's reactions, the fact his body can please someone, body worship, praise kink vibes because will has no issue babbling praise since he genuinely feels amazing lmfao, getting overwhelmed and faltering, or rougher because he's trying so so hard and it excites him to see his best friend fall apart, to name a few :)

there's also the fact unless you really enjoy your preference in life, sex isn't the same every single time so there's degrees of the dynamic depending on the mood/scenario/horny levels - at least when I write!

tl;dr: service top/partner definition is pretty similar to how you'd view standard sex but the difference is that they don't operate with their own pleasure in mind as much/they get off on pleasuring

Hope this helped and didn't just confuse you more 😅❣️

[ahoge-fish]

Is it just me or the JoJo X OC fandom is getting kind of toxic?

Welp, it is not getting toxic, it already was. And sadly not only the JoJo X OC fandom, but every one of them (flashback to little me seeing those videos of jealous little girls that scream "SANS IS MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!! *procedes to kill you*, fucking rolling my ass on the floor because I though they were so ridiculous)

Because 💫people are such beautiful creatures💫

Now, I'm lucky to have not met those people yet (knocks on wood), but you probably know who I mean. The ones that say "NOO JOTARO IS ONLY MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HIIIM", or "gosh your ship sucks, it's so lame", or "stop shipping your oc with Jotaro it is cringe" and other and other and other...

I saw these people somewhere else and not on my blog (fortunately), and this is so fucking disgusting. I already said it and I'll said it again to them (who will not read this, I'm very sure of it because they're such idiots but I don't care): IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, SCROLL DOWN. BLOCK THE BLOG YOU DON'T LIKE. JUST. DON'T. SEND. HATE.

You don't know how a person could react to that hate, you don't know how much even one of these comments could affect one's mentality, because yes: behind an OC x Canon or selfship blog, THERE IS A REAL PERSON WITH FEELINGS. A person, a human that is probably struggling with real life's problems and having their blog is the way they cope with them. This is their happy way out to get distracted and feel happy when they feel down, or just somethig they do for fun. Either case, you are ruining that person's happy world.

Why? Just- because???? I really don't see the point of sending hate when you just can IGNORE what you don't like. And no, it's not a big deal, they're fucking fictional characters so you don't need to be the the "hero" of the situation by sending hate to them thinking "aaah, I've done a good thing. Now the Internet is a better place!"

Just- just no.

How are they hurting you in any way?? Just- AYO JUST FUCKING SCROLL DOWN IT'S NOT SO HARD TO DO HAHA

But now, to the people who are jealous about they're s/o and see someone else having a blog about them but with their OC. DO👏 THE👏FUCKING👏SAME!!! Just scroll down, or block the blog you don't like. Easy game!!

People, THEY ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!! NO CANON CHARACTER IS NO ONE'S POSSESSION, BUT TO THEIR OWN CREATORS!! Jotaro isn't yours, is fricking Araki's.

But you can still ship yourself or your OC with him! Because who says you can't? Is there a law for it? For loving a fictional character? No, so just go ahead and do it.

And also- to give it more lOgIc if people still aren't satisfyied with sharing their s/o- in the JJBA lore with Vento Aureo and another thing I will not say because then it'll be spoiler, we are 100% sure that other universes and multiverses exists, that means infinite Jotaros for everyone and so INFINITE SHIPPINGS!

That means that everyone gets to have their own Jotaro, the way they like him in THEIR OWN universe, because there are infinite of them and so your universe is somehow canon. Do you like it better put this way? I hope so, because then idk what else to say if not "block and scroll" the things you don't like.

Let's bless the people that actually do block and scroll the ones they don't like, instead of sending unnecessary hate, because not everyone can like the same thing! It is totally normal! But they do what it is CORRECT, so let's bless them 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[luulapants]

Genuine good faith question, are you okay with nazis being alive? To be an absolute abolitionist and to compare sexual predators and hate crime murderers to over persecuted and policed populations is insulting and reeks of privilege. A black man put in prison for being a victim of the system is not equal to someone raping a child. Yes, prisoners do deserve to be treated with dignity and to receive help but to live in a society where no one is punished is begging for victims to be thrown to the dogs.

Hey anon, this is a GREAT question, because the very way that you've posed it points out a lot of the problems with the way we as a society are taught to think about "justice." I also apologize in advance, because this is a question I couldn't answer with less than an essay.

Let's start at the start: "are you okay with nazis being alive?" There's an assumption in this question, which is that Nazism is an intrinsic, immutable quality of a person. The phrasing suggests that the only way to end Nazism is to kill everyone who believes Nazi ideology. This statement suggests the death penalty as a punishment for Nazism.

People are not born as Nazis. They learn Nazi ideology. And you know what? They can unlearn it. People unlearn it all the time. So what's the statute of limitations on our death penalty for Nazis? If someone espoused Nazi ideology ten years ago but has since been deprogrammed, do we still have to kill them? What about if they're in the process of deprogramming and still slip up and say fucked up things sometimes? Or let's take a less radical approach. We try to deprogram them first. How quickly do they need to progress before we decide they're irredeemable and have to die? How far do they need to progress? Is it enough for them to stop using hate speech or do they have to become 100% liberal before they're allowed to live?

But I concede that you might have been talking in extremes and don't actually want to use the death penalty as a punishment for Nazism. Maybe you just want to send them to prison. In that case, I've got bad news for you. If you think that prison reduces the number of Nazis in our society, you don't know very much about American prison systems. Prisons churn out way more Nazis than go into them.

Next you claim that I am comparing "sexual predators and hate crime murderers to over persecuted and policed populations" by being an absolute abolitionist. First, the post you're referring to actually begins by discussing how you can talk about under and over-prosecuted populations and correcting those disparities without abandoning abolition as an end goal.

Second, your statement confounds two different categorizations: "sexual predators and hate crime murderers" is categorizing people by what they have done, while "over persecuted and policed populations is categorizing people by an entire population segment to which laws are applied (presumably, racial and sexual minorities). Mixing those categories, you end up stepping on your own toes, because people in over-policed populations can and do commit under-prosecuted crimes. The reverse is true as well. So what do we do with a poor Black rapist? How about a wealthy white drug user? Do we need to prosecute one or the other more or less?

This leads into Critical Legal Studies, the discipline which gave us the Critical Race Theory that folks like Tucker Carlson are so afraid of. CLS at its most simplistic posits that, because laws are created and enforced by people in power, they maintain current balances of power. If laws are created by people who have employees not those who are employees, an employee who steals $100 from the cash register will face steeper punishment than an employer who denies their employee a $1000 final paycheck. Drugs used more in Black communities (crack) will have longer sentences than those used in white communities (cocaine) even if they are very similar. And we can break our backs trying to fight back on every little systemic imbalance in the way our laws are written, but according to CLS, these are an unavoidable bias in the nature of law itself. Changing who is in power only changes the direction in which that bias points.

What does that have to do with how a "black man put in prison for being a victim of the system is not equal to someone raping a child"?

I'm glad you asked!

Rather than sitting around trying to figure out the most equitable way to punish people, a more effective approach is to step back and ask, "Why are we trying to punish them?" (I'm a big fan of asking "why" over and over and over again like a three-year-old until you get to the root question.) We're trying to punish them because they did something harmful. "Why is punishing them the correct response to doing something harmful?" Because not punishing people "is begging for victims to be thrown to the dogs."

Is it?

According to the National Survey of Victims' Views, most victims do not feel that punitive justice meets their needs. Most would prefer shorter sentences with a stronger investment in rehabilitation. About 75% want a stronger emphasis on accountability through programs like community service and mental health treatment. About 75% believe time in prison makes people more likely to commit another crime rather than less likely.

In short, punitive justice does not make victims feel safer or like they are less likely to be victimized again.

More than half of people in jails and prisons in the US have a mental illness. People with mental illnesses are more likely to be victims of crimes than perpetrators, but for those who are perpetrators, untreated mental illness very likely played a part in their criminality. Prison makes mental illness worse, not better. Prison is inherently traumatic and people who go into prison without a mental illness often leave with one.

Prison is a place that a person survives, and survival mentality generally decreases one's capacity for empathy. This means people often come out capable of committing more atrocious crimes than they could stomach before going in.

People who go into prison a little bit racist? They come out Nazis.

All of this is to say that punitive justice falls down when you ask, "What are we trying to accomplish?" If we're trying to accomplish making society a better, safer place to be, reformative and reparative justice are the obvious choice. If we replaced prisons with compassionate but intensive mental health treatment facilities that assessed the root cause of a person's behaviors, if we engaged our best and brightest social workers and psychologists to reeducate, counsel, and reintroduce people to society, we could actually make a better, safer society. This includes helping sexual offenders to identify how they dehumanize their victims to justify their behavior. It includes deprogramming racist and other extremist ideologies. It includes helping child abusers to realize that they are perpetuating trauma and abuses done to them as children.

The only situation in which punitive justice makes sense is when the answer to, "What are we trying to accomplish?" is, "I suffered, and now I want to see other people suffer."

And if that's someone's goal, they probably have a lot more in common with some of those criminals they want punished than they do with someone who want to make the world better.

[purrincess-chat]

I think ml fandom has the wrong idea of ladynoir. Their bond is not only about the flirting and the banter, it's also about unconditional trust and care for each other. So when they say ladynoir is dead, I think they are mourning the lighthearted side of their relationship, forgetting it's way more complex than just Chat Noir flirting with Ladybug. And that side of ladynoir they tend to overlook isn't gone. It's still there.

You are 100% correct, nonny. People are just butthurt that Chat will no longer be making passes at her every 30 seconds of a battle, and they refuse to accept that the love square evolved in s5. Development happened all around, and things have finally changed. It's called growth. At their core, LN are still partners who trust each other, despite Adrien's absence in the finale, which was entirely to prevent him from finding out Gabriel's secret and less about him not mattering as part of the hero team. The writers just really don't want him to know likely bc they don't want to deal with the fallout but thats neither here nor there.

I for one am actually looking forward to the new love square dynamics the most in the coming seasons. It's everything else that has me concerned 🤣 I'm more worried about the threat that the 17 other permanent heroes pose to LN's screentime than canon Adrinette. Bc that was a big plot point in s4 that all of the extra heroes got in the way of LN. Lilamoth is whatever. Gabe's new world of madness is a little concerning, but I can already predict there are going to be too many fucking heroes around. It's Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir, not Tales of Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace, Pegase, Argos... Them being temporary for a mission or two every now and then was one thing, but I am not fond of the prospect that everyone is a hero now. Idk maybe it won't be as bad as s4, but I have low hopes. I just know it's going to eat LN's screentime during battles bc it already did.

But anyway. Yes. You are right. The core of pretty much all of the sides is still there (LN are still partners, MC can still have wacky hijinks, Ladrien can still have thirsty overprotective bug bc that is her man). Adrinette obviously had the biggest glow up, but I think now that s5 is over they may scale them back since now they are an established couple. They got a lot in s5 bc they needed to establish the relationship, but now they've done that so. Idk. We will see.

[cervinelich]

I am a firm believer that every single person should get therapy at least a few times a year. Yes, everyone.

There is this persistent idea that therapy costs hundreds of dollars. My partner's insurance covers therapy with their provider 100%. My insurance made therapy $50 a session and I only did sessions once a month because that's what I could afford. And let me be clear, both of us have shitty fucking insurance.

Virtual resources like Sondermind are far from perfect, but they are more affordable and better than nothing. Check your insurance portal for in-network therapists. It will take some emails and phone calls to find something.

Please, please, please.

Using the people around you as therapy is not sustainable. I'm not saying "don't talk to your friends about your problems/vent". I am saying in addition to having people around you that you can talk to, it is also good to have an experienced, knowledgeable, unrelated third party to help give you perspective.

Therapists are not going to "fix" you. They aren't there to "correct" you as a person. I understand where this idea comes from, given that "get therapy" is a common insult on this website that is supposed to represent some kind of moral failing on the person.

I've had 3 different therapists and while my chemistry with them was a mixed batch, the one consistent message you will get from them is "I want to help you feel capable of success".

They are not interested in pointing the finger at you for being a "bad person".

They will help you identify where some of your feelings are coming from and give you tools to recognizing your emotional triggers & how to avoid them. They have resources on getting diagnoses, job assistance, disability assistance, support groups and more.

Sometimes I see people on this website saying that telling someone to consider therapy is "ableist", even if said sincerely. I do not understand how we went from advocating for affordable mental health care to suggesting that therapists are universally out to "correct mental illness".

I didn't get therapy until I was in my 30s because I always thought that I didn't "need" it, like it's some "cure" for specific problems. Talking to a therapist finally made me admit to myself that I wanted to transition, that I was pushing myself too hard, that I was neglecting my ADHD and depression symptoms, that I needed to learn to say "no", that I was building up resentment toward the people in my life because I was ignoring my needs.

I waited until I was thinking about ending my life on the daily to get therapy and I wish I had done it all sooner.

It can be frustrating. You might not click with the first therapist you find, or even the first few.

I promise you, it is still worth it.

[belovedharringrove]

so i made a post saying that if you want proof that billy is abused by neil, that you should watch the scene where neil's asking him where max is with an abuser (but, like. don't actually do that if you can avoid it) and @sonneillonv asked to see my perspective on it.

okay so start this off properly

TRIGGER WARNING

there will be discussions of abuse to both a real person (me) and a character (billy).

i'm putting my thoughts in order as i write this so this may either be extremely short or very long.

right. i am 21 years old and i work and make my own money, and during all these years i have been abused physically, verbally and let's say financially. the physical abuse has slowed down but from the time i was 6-7 to when i was about 17 my father abused me physically almost every day, sometimes for what i considered to be the dumbest reasons but he considered to be disrespect. my dad worked in construction his whole life so he didn't have the lightest hand in the world either.

when i watched s2 e8 (correct me if i'm wrong but i believe that's the episode) i was with both of my parents.

in the episode, billy's getting ready for a date and neil knocks on his door demanding to know where max is, start insulting him, etc.

the moment i saw nail hit billy, i immediately went "see? billy lashes out at everyone because he's being abused. that is abuse." and my 60 year old father immediately disagreed with me. he said that no, that's not abuse, but billy was being disrespectful and maybe if billy had spoken better to him, neil wouldn't have had to punch him, billy could've gotten away with a slap to the wrist!!! which is a form of manipulation that he's used with me before. you know, the apologies that go "i'm sorry i yelled at you in public, but if you hadn't pissed me off i wouldn't have had to scream at you!".

then we get to the part where neil asks billy to repeat himself and i say "that's a tool that abusers use as a way of holding power over their victims" and my father once again disagrees with me. says that sometimes as a parent, you need to ask your children to repeat things so "the lessons stick better" and "they don't keep making mistakes". when i asked what mistake billy made, he floundered and then said billy lost max and when i pointed out that, in me and my older siblings case, we could both be home at the same time and be none the wiser because we're always in our rooms. perhaps the same thing can happen to billy and max? y'know, because they're humans and billy can't be expected to helicopter over a moody teenager the whole day unless he wants her to throw her skateboard at him? he just got quiet and told me to shut up.

then we get to the part that billy goes to the byers' house and he gets into a fight with steve. when max grabs the syringe and injects billy with the medicine, i say "she shouldn't have done that, that was very dangerous thing to do. billy could've died." and my mom says "but they were using that to put will to sleep, it wouldn't have hurt him." i then have to explain that we don't know billy's medical history. he could've had an allergic reaction to the medicine and simply just died. i am 100% certain that none of them have cpr training or even would've known what to do if that had happened. then they go and take billy's car, leaving him drugged and with no mode of transportation.

at this point my father is not very happy and says "well, billy is a grown man! if he hated being abused so much, he could've just fought back!" and- no. he couldn't.

billy looks like a grown man because dacre montgomery was around 23 years old in 2017 when season 2 came out and, let's be honest, the man is pretty fucking fit. but billy was a teenager. only 17 years old. it's not he didn't want to fight back, it's that he couldn't.

as a 21 year old, i have my abusive father financially dependent on me while he waits to be retired. i could easily deny him a single cent that he asks of me but i cannot. not because i'm incapable, but simply because my mind goes 'he's your father, he raised you, he loves you, do you really wanna turn into him? he did his best while raising, he wasn't perfect but who is?' and that's only a few of the thoughts that go through my mind. billy is 17 years old and similar things probably go through his mind, plus maybe 'i don't have anyone' because max proved she doesn't care for his wellbeing back at the byers house, susan wouldn't come to his defense and neil is his abuser. he's far from california, he has no friends and no other family. he's completely alone.

i really hope this made sense and i put it in a way that people understand. i am emotionally drained now because this is a difficult topic to breach for me, but if you have any questions or need me to clear anything up, just reply or send me a pm and i'll be happy to answer.

[doctor-looneys-remedy]

I think we need to talk about Harry Potter.

Not the TERF queen who wrote it. I think she is suffering from the whole "I'm important! Why aren't people listening to me!!?" thing.

Let me make myself clear, lest my words be misunderstood: I don't get the whole bathroom debate. I have walked out of many a bathroom stall on the tipsy side to find a straight, cishet guy at the sink, shrugging and saying that the men's was broken. Everyone was super chill and no one cared. Happens more often than you think. A hundred year-old building with plumbing that hasn't been updated since Kennedy was in office is going to have a problem or two, and my town has its share of these establishments.

I'm here to talk about the work itself. And it isn't really in defense of the work either. It's more about what I carried into the books when I read them, which was in my 20's. Not in my teen years.

I don't think Harry Potter is Shakespeare.

I have seen some interesting takes on why Harry Potter is bad from a writing perspective. A lot of it seems to boil down to some of the same points. I'm not going to go through all of them. I'm only going to talk about one, because it bridges into a bigger issue I have with fantasy writing.

There is this complaint that in HP, the system of magic isn't explained enough and doesn't have any rules that it operates by.

I need to be honest about this. Maybe I'm coming out of a bit of a closet by saying this, and maybe its a fucking odd thing: When I used to read books by fantasy authors as a kid or a teenager, anytime some "teacher" started some finger waggy "now these are the rules" or "if you do magic x it will cost x amount of soul points" or something that sounded remotely similar in some way, I just rolled my eyes and wanted to put the book down. Kind of a "Oh. here's this shit again" reaction.

I WANTED magic that could do damn near anything. I wanted someone to write about that kind of magic. Magic that could allow you to turn a continent upside down and materialize a pizza out of nothingness the next day.

Maybe the question is.. why do people think the "correct" way to write about a concept like actual fucking magic (!!?) is to cage it into a set of do's and don't's and making it cost something soul-changey to begin with? And why should that be the only way to do it? Am I the Only Weirdo who finds that whole thing just irritating at the end of the day?

Can we stop with the Dollar General and Walmart magic and instead, let our brains bathe in the luxury of full-on, 100% anything-goes magic?

I mean, I've been the Only Weirdo plenty of times, so no big surprise if I am the only person who thinks like this.

Edit:

I already know there are some who would argue in some kind of shade-filled, know-it-all way, "**I** just think it makes it more interesting if... "

(I know, you hear them say it in the exact same tone I do, don't you? You heard them in your head pronouncing every syllable of "interesting" in that certain way didn't you?)

O.k., fine. You can find whatever you want interesting. I don't give a shit. Let me counter that by saying that sometimes things are interesting because they are. They exist in the fiction world you are writing, and that is the point of interest. How is it that a human with nearly god-like powers isn't interesting, but a human who can turn himself into a turnip every second Thursday if he sacrifices an ounce of soul or a piece of a toe is?

[coralsgrimes]

Anyone notice that the 3 recent DM submissions (brunette, boyfriend, holding hands) - you know, the ones with no pix - all type her name as Julianne hough? Like, not one of them could manage a Julianne Hough? Seems a bit odd. Someone said that DM combine multiple submissions from the same person and cos these have not been, they’re from different people. Uh hello ‘more than one email address used’ perhaps? It wouldn’t get spotted as a multi submission. I’m just suspicious of DM subs where no pix are attached. Not suggesting of course that Bulianne were not together and strolling through Manhattan bcos ofc they were, but these subs are the ones being taken as absolute proof of a romance. No PDA’s in the pap pix or the fan pic at ITW. I just think Benny is too paranoid for anything like that if there’s a chance he could get photo’d (except if it’s platonic)… cos the P in PDA is a curse word to him!

📸

😱

Soooo immma not sure if immma understanding right but will try to say what me thinks.

The Sunday spotted submissions are mosty insta DMs, and sure thing ye can make new accounts but immma also sure ye can tell someone made a throwaway. Not even deuxmoi will post shite like this. Plus message from different accounts and on probably different days? Sounds kind of excessive don't ye think? For what? Something we do already know?

The caps... Well Julianne is a name so there's like 100% chance that auto correct will do the upper case part for ye. In the into the woods one Tom Hanks and Martin Short are typed same as her. Myth busted

The PDA. Everyone be saying that boy is very physical. And true that based on photos. But look at where they come from - cons, premieres, candids with costars for social media, promos... Yep pretty much for the public. There are other pap strolls of his with other peeps and he's keeping the distance too. Plus ye can tell he ain't happy with the lil flashes in the park.

For the pic from theatre. He's holding a playbill and she got a cup. And what is the point of holding hands in the aisle between seats (dunno if there's a name for it in english soooory)? They were probably either about to sit or just stood up and were concocting a plan titled How To Talk With Mr Hanks When You Are A Nobody!

He can't interact with his friends on social media even, ye think he gonna stand close to them when fuckin paps or some NPC's are taking pics which will end up on daily mail? Yeee I don't think so x.x

They keep spiting out the narrative of them being close friends for years, cool beans. Everyone thinks otherwise tho. Either of them could say so out loud. None did, even ever present on social media fairy queen. Instead a close source, back in 2020, told the media that they are friends. Now with every new oopsie, the gossip pieces basically backquote themselves on that, no new shite... Sooo I'm basically gonna backquote myself right now. From gossip point of view, nope, the are way more than friends. It's been years and years, weird coincidences and Vatican level secrecy. No need for any kisses, would be cool if they did but not essential for the conclusion. They fucking know they can't say more cuz there might be an affair in the mix, probably maybe. We can speculate all we wanna but the court of public opinion voted on the in love option.

[laurelwinchester]

Misha upset his fans again at this con and now they're bending backwards to blame anyone but him. All problems we have now are because this fandom made stanning and shipping a moral issue.

that thrilling saga concluded yesterday with one of the handlers mentioned in the story getting in touch with the op. turns out it was a huge misunderstanding.

my takeaway from it is that every single person involved - from the handlers to the op to everyone who responded/retweeted the original thread because they just had to share their opinion to, and i'm sorry to say this, misha - sounds...kinda insufferable tbh and so deeply exhausting that i feel like i need to take a three hour long nap just from reading a tiny little ounce of drama.

the spn fandom's desperate (and sad) need to dissect every little thing and create Big Drama out of nothing because they want attention and/or don't feel complete if they're not needlessly upset about things that don't matter remains unmatched.

ANYWAY

''all problems we have now are because this fandom made stanning and shipping a moral issue.''

YES!

anon, you are 100% correct about this. please shout this from the rooftops. the lengths the spn fandom has gone to make something as trivial as shipping an issue of personal morals is absolutely fucking nuts and i wish they'd take a step back and look at the mess they've created for once instead of placing the blame on everyone but themselves. god, i can't wait for this fandom to die out. (even though we all know, deep down, that it never will.) i love these characters, i loved this show, but this fandom is so far beyond toxic that i'm no longer sure it's even possible to carve out a healthy fandom from what's left. it's all poisonous. it is genuinely harmful at this point.

i can't believe there are multiple factions still at war with each other, with both sides trying to say ''we're the good ones, you're the bad ones.'' sorry but no. there are no better ones. not anymore. you're all the problem. either grow up, take the time to heal the wounds you've inflicted on yourself and others, and build something better, or pack your shit and get out.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[jjackrabbitt]

Miss Peregrine's, book 6, chapter 13-17:

"that jacket makes him look too much like a soldier." at this point, is he not one?

why are we still underestimating Horace?

hate this possible goodbye speech i'm going to stab some one

HORATIO WAS WHAT NOW

ah, more strange chills at the mention of Myron

ooooooo Millard has secret back channels

ah a convenient clock for a convenient time

i am glad Jacob and Emma get to be friends still

are we sure jack would have preferred to not die and come back as half a hellbeast?

the box scene is sweet, but again with the manic pixie dream girling

i read middle of november and thought they'd be burning up in all that wool

Sharon's been putting notches in the door frames to track how many people have been traveling through them :^)

good luck, kids

sac á merde means sack of shit, mange tes morts is eat your dead, bête comme ses pieds is stupid as his feet, con comme une valise sans poingée is like a suit case without a handle, casse toi is fuck you, vous avez l'intelligence d'une huitre is you have the intelligence of an oyster

i love Miss Hawksbill and her insulting taxidermy

so how come Miss Tern and Miss Hawksbill are sisters and different birds, while all three of the Bentham siblings are the same bird?

alternate title for this book: Ten Quickest Ways to Traumatize Children

oh good, a bear 😌

every time i learn something new about Myron, i'm a little more disappointed

i know that he's helpful some times and i like his bear, but he's also a human pet guy

i do think the idea of having a group prophesised and yet they're still useless and confused and maybe not all necessary is interesting, and could be good, but i think it could have been done better in this book

ooooooo i was so excited too meet the flaming lady but weird little girls are also acceptable

Horace out here being a baby gay

love it when prophesies go wrong

hi Horatio :^)

percy's a literal slime ball now

i've had Horatio for ten minutes and it anything happened to him i would kill everyone in the room and then myself

"we're damned but not unredeemable," you're correct and ily

i wish we could have seen more of Noor and Emma working together

100% not in the book but i think every time something bad happens Noor and Millard are just grumbling that this wouldn't be happening if Lilly was there

Horatio is dad now

ooooooo it could have been so interesting for Jacob to be functionally useless now but i guess that wasn't a fun enough plot line

some days i do have to curse these books because we get these little, interesting bits of information that answer some of my questions, but also raise more

i don't know why, or where it's from, or what it's even supposed to mean, but my mums side of the family says "i will beat you with a wet noodle" when provoked

oh good, Jacob's considering therapy

thanks for informing us that Horatio is cute

Hollows are larva

ADAM (assigned dad at metamorphasis)

i need more of Horatio saying batshit things like its completely fine and normal

"when my transistion was complete, i found a wight and killed him, then removed his face and took it to Ellsworth Ellsworth, the Untouchables celebrated skin tailor. And this was the result." talk about gender reassignment surgery. if youre really trans you'll steal a mans face

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly. 

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you." 

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue. 

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees. 

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life. 

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead. 

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while. 

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?" 

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust. 

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered. 

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees. 

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee. 

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation. 

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk. 

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy. 

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening. 

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless. 

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year. 

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence. 

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking. 

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator. 

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog. 

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand. 

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth. 

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?" 

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-." 

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled. 

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly. 

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing. 

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin. 

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless. 

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Bucky taglist: @loustan90

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

[lostinmcyt]

here's the thing though, there are /some/ people who call themselves dream apologists who do excuse abuse. just like there are /some/ other people in the fandom who excuse torture, and say he deserves it. here's what i've noticed though, there are more c!dream sympathists who are Like That on twitter and reddit (eugh, reddit), and there are more c!tommy apologists who are Like That on tumblr. (though there are always some on any platform) i've seen so many bad faith, horrible takes on twitter from every side (i know i sound a little centrist here). and i have genuinely encountered people on twitter, with large followings who said "oh dream didn't abuse tommy, their relationship was just toxic" and no one came in and corrected them. my point is, firstly we need to stop judging "apologists" by the outliers, or by their bad apples. BUT i also think, if we're gonna view it as sides, both sides need to start taking a little accountability, and also call people out people in their /own/ group when they genuinely do spout victim-blaming rhetoric, instead of no-true-scotsmaning them out. 'cause i've been tryna do that best i can, if i do encounter it. and i know the response to the survey was a bit disappointing from my side, i know how shitty it feels when people don't, 1. get the point of ur character and 2. echo a lot of victim-blaming sentiments, even if the character itself isn't real, because the things they say are real, and sound so eerily familiar. i genuinely cannot be on dream smp twitter for that reason. - cube (once again back in ur inbox with a long-winded opinion :P)

okay now that i'm off work-

yeah shitty as it is I have also seen some people who say they're c!Dream apologists who do say that c!Dream did absolutely nothing wrong or that c!tommy deserved the exile treatment or whatever with their whole chest (notably only in form of twt screenshots posted here either by antis going 'SEE THEY'RE ALL ABUSE APOLOGISTS' or by us going 'yo what the actual FUCK', but then again, i have my dash curated to avoid shitty people so i'm not saying no one like this exists on tumblr) - and i 100% agree that in the true spirit of this fandom discussing moral conundrums on a daily basis they should be told that hey, actually, how about you maybe reconsider.

with the c!tommy apologists who say the torture is okay - well if you're a c!dream fan and try to discuss that point you get called abuse apologist in return because Exile is the only arc that matters and we cannot discuss anything else ever and the cycle continues xD so a lot of us gave up lmao and now we just ask people to tag appropriately and stare in horror otherwise

but this is touching on what I said - difference in the definition of what a c!dream apologist is. cause you know, i go by 'i acknowledge his faults but i'm going to look into his character deeper to try and understand where they came from as well as i don't believe he's irredemable because god damn everyone deserves a chance to get better' definition which is i think the most popular angle at least in my corner of dsmpblr. the people i talked about earlier would not be c!dream apologists by this definition, they'd be what i like to call, 'wrong' /lh

idk man, it's the generalization that gets me, and also the fact that people will go out of their way to show up in your asks or your notes or in general tags even and say 'yeah if you like this character/if you're an apologist you're actually abusive to people in real life' hen it couldn't be further from the truth but they don't know that nor do they care to stop and think about the fact that maybe they're wrong-

and people of this fandom only seem to go this far in c!dream/c!dream fans case, i don't think people go out their way to go to c!q fans and yell at them about torture or yknow to go to c!sam fans and yell about prison reforms (if they do, guys, i'm so sorry /srs) AND ALSO some one them will be like 'you're an abuser /j' like????????? hello??????????????? show me where the joke is.

sorry for how rambly i am my brain is melting from the heat you have no idea how much effort it took to reply lol