#we do not have shit to do at all so we just follow each other arounfaskljgelkgjas

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 50

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 2,615ish

Summary: A Logan variant makes an appearance and shakes you to your core.

Notes: Welp, here we go! Please share your reactions. I'm worried that this was over hyped and will be a disappointment... Please remember to review the timeline posted here.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

Laura’s nerves grew as she drove the Honda Odyssey back to the makeshift home. She had seen your grief first hand, even as you tried to shield the worst of it from her. She knew that you still cried in the shower. Laura heard you call out for ‘James’ at night in your sleep. She saw the bags under your eyes during the bad days and the way you would absentmindedly play with your ring when you were thinking about Logan. Laura knew that you had gotten better as the years went on, though there were still hard days. She also knew that seeing this Logan may through you back into the worst of it. But he could also be the way out of the Void. 

When she parked the van, Laura took a deep breath. She headed inside, trying to prepare herself for the turmoil that she may have just brought into your life. 

“Is my mom back yet?” She asked the others, unable to see you inside immediately.

“Not yet,” Blade responded.

Laura felt some relief. “Good. Can I get your help bringing some people inside? I found some newbies.”

Once Elektra, Blade, and Gambit helped Laura get the two unconscious men inside, Laura gathered the others outside.

“Looks like we got ourselves another Deadpool,” Blade noted.

“That—That man in the yellow and blue, he’s a variant of my father,” Laura explained. “A Wolverine.”

“Well, that’s good, ain’t it?” Gambit questioned.

Laura shook her head. “Not for my mom. It could… set her back. The two loved each other for fifty-seven years. It was a love for the ages… She’s still not over it and I don’t blame her.”

“What do you want us to do?” Elektra asked.

“I want us to find out what they are doing here and if they can help us return to our universes.”

“Can do,” Blade responded.

Elektra stepped up to Laura and placed her hand on the young woman’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” She asked.

“I’ll be fine. Just… give me a second. I’ll be in after you.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Laura watched as Blade, then Elektra, and then Gambit entered the makeshift house. She clenched and unclenched her fists as she began to pace a little. This was hard for her too, seeing her father’s face but knowing it’s not him. There was a lot of unsolved issues between the two of them. You had stepped in and mended a lot of those, but sometimes they still affected her. 

Then there was the worry about how you would react to seeing a variant of your dead husband. Did that Wolverine have an X-23 or an Ember? If so, would he be trying to rush back to them? Laura gave the surrounding area a glance, just to check if you were near, before heading inside to regroup with the others. 

“We’re not totally fucked at all,” Laura could tell that was the voice of the Deadpool. “So who brought us here?”

“That would be me,” Laura stated, coming down into the large room. “Don’t make me regret it.”

“Holy shit. Logan. That’s her. That’s X-23.” Laura glanced over to where Logan was standing in the back room, a bottle of alcohol in hand. “She’s the one I told you about.” Logan met the young woman’s gaze as he lifted the bottle back up to his mouth. “Hey, how did you all get stuck in The Void?”

“There was a knock at the door,” Blade explained. “The TVA sent me here.”

“Me, too,” Elektra said.

“Well, maybe I was born here,” said Gambit. “It’s… It’s hard to know for sure.

“The TVA decided our universes were dying,” Blade added. “And I never even got a chance to fight for it.”

Laura moved towards the back room, her and Logan keeping each other in their sights. Logan continued to drink. Wade had told him of X-23 and an Ember, whom the version of himself in Wade’s universe had saved. He didn’t know how he felt about it, but he did know that he wasn’t like that version of him.

“People like us don’t go quietly,” Elektra continued. “The TVA knows that, so they took us out.”

Deadpool made a smooching sound beneath his mask. “This answer is yes,” he said. “I’m in.”

~~~

You sighed as you arrived back to your makeshift home. Johnny had been no where to be find, leaving you to fear the worst. As you headed inside, you noticed the destroyed Honda Odyssey. You knew that couldn’t be a good thing. The further you entered the house, you heard a familiar voice. But it couldn’t be. Wade died more than fifty years ago when you lost Logan the first time. 

“—answer is yes,” Wade’s voice said. “I’m in.”

“In what?” You asked, making it to the bottom of the stairs.

“Holy fucking shit!” Deadpool gasped. “You—You’re Ember! Like the Ember! From my universe!”

“Uh, what?”

“I am your biggest fan!” He rushed forward and pulled you into an embrace. Laura stepped closer, but you put a hand out to stop her. Deadpool pulled back but kept his hands on your arms. “I seriously can’t believe I’m in front of you right now. No one back on all the fan sites are going to believe I even got close to you! Peanut, look who it is!”

Deadpool pulled you around him and pushed you forward. You stumbled to a stop as your eyes caught sight of the familiar face in front of you. A strangled breath got caught in your throat. Uncontrollable flames weaved through your fingers as you were frozen in place. It was a younger—bit beefier— version of your Logan and his eyes… there was a different story to tell there. But it was Logan.

Logan was frozen too. Your face was one that he didn’t ever think he’d see again. Especially after the last time… when it was cold and lifeless. Here you were. Alive and well, standing in front of him. It was everything he had ever wanted. Yet he knew that you weren’t his Ember… his Y/N. He had let her down.

“I sense something intense happening here,” Deadpool whispered. “Maybe we should let you two fuck it out—“

“Shut the fuck up, Wilson, for one damn second!” Logan roared. 

The sudden anger had you tripping backwards. Laura stepped forward to steady you but you flinched away, feeling your skin growing hotter.

“Mom,” Laura called calmly.

“I— I need a— a second,” you stammered.

“I can—“

“Alone.” 

Then you rushed back up the stairs. Your heart was hammering against your chest and you hadn’t even realized that your breathing had become uneven. Your shaky legs took you into the woods until you collapsed against one of the large trees. Tears began sizzling down your cheeks as a variety of emotions swirled inside. Grief. Longing. Confusion. Love. Anger. Every emotion that you had tried to push down or work through was suddenly right there, taking over your every being.

The ring that sat on your finger suddenly felt too heavy. You tore it off and held it against your chest as you sobbed. Curling in on yourself, you failed to notice that the dry ground around you began to catch fire.

~~~

Logan watched with regret filled eyes as you rushed out of the building. As soon as you were out of sight, he downed the rest of the bottle in his hand before tossing it aside and grabbing another one.

“Wow,” Deadpool exaggerated. “Hey, Peanut, are you not going to chase after the love of your life there?”

“Fuck off,” Logan muttered, before taking another swig of drink.

Laura’s eyes moved from the doorway over to Logan with a sigh. “Let’s just continue with a plan,” she said. “I’ll give my mom a few minutes to cool down.”

~~~

Everything hurt. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. The flames around you had died down with your sobs. Leaving behind a whimpering, smoky mess.

“Mom! Mom!” You could hear Laura’s voice in the distance, or so your mind made it seem. “Mom!”

“Kick ass fire woman!” Wade’s voice joined. “Greatest mother of all time!”

“Shut up, Wade! This is serious. Mom—“ Laura cut herself off as you came into view. “Mom!” She raced over to you. “Mom…”

“Laura,” you rasped, looking at her through half closed eyes. 

Laura could tell that you were in pain, in every which way you could be. Wade suddenly appeared next to her, mask off. 

“Oh shit, fire starter,” he exclaimed, “you don’t look so hot.”

Laura growled and plunged her claws into Wade’s leg. He shouted out in pain before gripping his leg and hopping backwards.

“Fuck, little wolf! Just like your old man!” He complained. “I’m outta here. Need a moment to daydream for my next Emberine fic. My readers are gonna have a field day!” Then Wade skipped off.

Laura’s focus went back onto you. “Can you walk?” She wondered.

“No,” you whispered.

“I got it,” a rough voice sounded from behind. 

No one had noticed that Logan had followed. He hadn’t planned to but seeing you rush off and then Laura’s concern when you hadn’t returned after an hour, Logan felt the need to see what was up. Without truly looking at you, he crouched down beside you and slipped his arms underneath you. Your breath caught as your eyes closed and your body was moved up and against Logan’s. 

“Where to?” Logan’s voice was low and rough.

“This way,” Laura said, beginning to lead the way back to the building.

Logan kept his eyes forward despite the growing urge to look down at you. Especially as you began to tremble more with each step he took. You kept your eyes closed as Logan carried you, though tears slipped through and down your cheeks. Laura led Logan into one of the back rooms, where there was a bed.

“Here,” Laura motioned to the bed. “Lay her down.”

Logan tried to lay you down as carefully as he could. You immediately curled in on yourself further as he pulled away.

“Thanks,” Laura said as she sat down beside you.

Logan grunted in response before grabbing a few bottles of alcohol and heading back outside. Laura took her backpack off and dug inside of it for the cooling blanket she had in there. She placed it over you, making sure that everything was covered except your head. Your eyes were still clamped shut and tears were slipping through.

“Tell me this is a dream,” you begged quietly. 

“I’m sorry, mom,” Laura said, placing a hand on you, over the blanket.

“Not your fault.”

Laura sighed. “We came up with a plan though. A plan to defeat Cassandra. We leave in the morning.”

“I should be okay by then.”

“I don’t think you should come.”

“Laura—“

“No. You are not okay mentally or physically.”

“You’re crazy to think that I would let you go fight without me.”

“Mom—“

“No. I’ll be fine with some rest… Is… Is that Logan fighting too?”

Laura shook her head. “Says we’re all dead.”

You sighed. “Sounds about right… Thanks for taking care of me, kiddo.”

~~~

Night had fallen and Logan found himself in front of a fire with another bottle of alcohol. His eyes watched the flames as they flickered in front of him. It provided him no peace of mind: the silence, the fire, or the alcohol. All his thoughts drifted to you and how he had failed you, or well, his version of you.

Logan exhaled deeply as Laura came over. “Hey, hey,” he quickly said. “I’m not lookin’ for company. Get out of here.”

Laura didn’t deter, sitting down near him. “You remind me of him,” Laura stated with a found smile. “Angry. Drunk. Mean.”

“Sounds like a great guy—“

“Wasn’t finished…” Logan glanced over, an eyebrow raised curiously. “Showed up when it mattered the most. Couldn’t help it.” Logan sighed, staring at the fire. “You might not know it, but… you’re a good man, Logan.”

Logan chuckled. “You might not know it, but apparently I’m the worst Logan.”

“I got to have a life because of you… I got to grow up because of you… A lot of kids did… I have a mom because of you… Y/N survived because of you.”

“Yeah, well, a lot of kids didn’t grow up because of me… Y/N didn’t survive because of me… Trust me, kid, I’m no hero.”

“That suit says different.”

Logan grunted, glancing down at it. “Yeah. Do you like it?”

“Mhm.”

“Y/N used to beg me to wear it�� So did Scott, Jean, Storm, Beast… All of them… They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn’t. Told ‘em they all look fucking ridiculous. I mean… I couldn’t have ‘em thinkin’ I wanted to be there…” Logan shook his head, eyes staring at the flames in front of him as they grew glossy. “And then one day, while I was off on my own, the humans came… and went mutant hunting.”

“I can guess the rest.”

“No, no,” he shook his head, “let me… Let me say it.” He nodded, growing more emotional. “I… I need to say it… By the time I stumbled in shitfaced from the bar, it was too late… Her smoke and flames were everywhere. Like she had tried to protect everyone… They were dead. Every—“ Logan swallowed down the sob threatening to push its way of his throat. His bottom lip trembled as his mind replayed the horror. “She was dead… Beast had clearly tried to protect her… but they were all dead… This suit’s all I got to remind me of who they were. And what I did.” Logan sniffled before lifting up the bottom and taking another drink. “How’s… How’s your mother?”

“She’s fine. Resting.”

“Good. Uh, I’m sorry if I triggered anything.”

“I knew bringing you here was a risk. She’s tried so hard to heal and be strong for me… I’d never known that two people could love each other so unconditionally like the way you and her did.”

Logan scoffed. “Ain’t me, kid. I screwed up with my Y/N… was never enough for her.”

“Never enough for her, or never enough for you?” Logan’s eyes snapped to Laura. “My mom says that you were perfectly enough, you just got in your own way.” He looked back at the fire. “We’re headed to Cassandra’s at sunup.”

“Have fun. Not my fight.”

“We won’t pull this off without you.”

Logan glanced at Laura briefly before returning his focus to the fire. Laura clenched her jaw as she stood up and began walking away.

“Hey,” Logan called after her. “Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.”

Laura paused and turned back to face him. “You were always the wrong guy,” she responded. “But never to her.”

Laura walked off, leaving Logan drinking by the fire. He took another swig of his drink, his mind reeling. You were not the same Y/N that he had lost in his universe. He had yet to let you down. So by not fighting, he couldn’t. Or was he letting another one of you down? Could he live with himself knowing that he could have saved another one of you, or at least tried? Logan sighed, tossing the bottle into the fire. Maybe this was a chance to save you in a way that he couldn’t before. Maybe this was a chance to change his Worst Wolverine status. Or maybe, this was all a cruel joke and Logan would never be able to redeem himself.

next chapter >

[epistolarymoon]

putting nsfw goggles on for a sec but

idk if this is just a trope that was a lot more common in older hockeyrpf fics bc i haven't seen it around as much recently BUT. would like to see a fic about will and mack going out (maybe while in quebec bc no need for fakes lol) and goading each other into picking up girls...

... and there is a girl that's interested in mack at first, but oh, wait, who's that prettyboy friend of yours you were talking to earlier?? and mack's like. utterly dumbfounded and also extremely humiliated bc uh what. [mack voice] am i literally getting turned down for smitty. will is never going to let him live this down. this is terrible.

and the girl tells mack to invite will over and theoretically mack should just cut his losses but for some reason he does. red-faced and kind of cut up about it, he goes across the bar and mumbles something about the girl at will. and will's like ??? what do you mean she wants me. and he's a little smug about it but he can see how mack's ego is all bruised so he's like. all right i can play it chill for now but, u know. a hot girl is a hot girl. and so he follows mack over to the girl, and mack's like. um. here u go. this is smitty. have fun I Guess.

and she's like okay i think you misunderstood baby i want Both Of You. and then it's all like. record scratch. freeze frame. what??????

also bc will is way more dialed, he very clearly realizes that mack's kind of just blue-screened. he knows that mack doesn't have a ton of experience and he doesn't either but he has had a 3some before (ryan leonard haunts the narrative as per). and he turns to the girl and is like "can we have a sec?" and she very graciously gestures for them to go have their little gab sesh.

when they're alone again mack is like "what the fuck dude i'm not having a threesome with you that'd be like. gay" and will is all like. [scoffs] "it's not fucking gay to fuck a girl together lol we won't even touch each others dicks." and mack is all, shrilly, "yeah but it's still fucking weird." and will very smarmily goes "you're just chicken. and also inexperienced. bc it's not even that crazy" which of course makes all higher function in mack's brain go offline now that will's just triggered his insane competitive hindbrain where he has to win at everything, even the stupid shit. and it's all [mack voice] wait you sound like you've done this before.

and will is all false confidence: "yeah duh" except he hasn't touched that memory of him and leno hooking up with a girl with a ten foot pole since it happened. bc then he would have to confront some very uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. and he doesn't want to do that.

now mack's fired up and he's like. "okay fine. i'm down if you're down." and will is all like "okay i'm down."

and they go home with this girl and run a train on her, except. obviously this is a night of realizations. and sometimes it feels like she's not even there, it's just will and mack in the room. at some point while she's otherwise occupied, they make eye contact and mack nearly nuts right then and there. and will can see how far down mack's flush goes. and it's all just. oh noooooo. oh no no no.

[456-is-the-way]

A/n: I made a previous pot earlier today, announcing I will be making more Squid Game fanfictions. If you want to be tagged in them, please comment or dm me, and I will make a list. Also, if you have any suggestions for a character x reader, please let me know/ in the request box, dm, or comment here, and I will also tag you! After this part, I have an In- Ho x reader coming up soon! And more. So keep looking on my page!!

Tag list: @carolinevoight ALSO anyone know why it won't let me tag people? Some people i couldn't get on here 🥺

Triggers: Death, Mild Gore, Mentions of Torture, and SMUT

Seong Gi-hun x Reader

Game of Hearts pt.2

The clock struck 12 when a knock came to her apartment door. (Y/n) took a deep breath grabbing her wallet then making her way to the door. She had to mentally prepare herself all night long; this was nothing more than a professional friendship. She stayed awake pondering why this happened to her. (Y/n) never acted out with a client like this. But her endless hours with Seong Gi-hun , all the unspoken works, lustful gazes, and gentle touches she hoped something good could be true. This entire time was just them becoming… closer friends? The next knock broke her out of the trance. (Y/n) let the door fly open her breath was taken away just as quickly seeing Gi-hun. He told her this was just a professional outing yet here the same man is dressed up to perfection. Gi-hun’s raven hair was slicked back perfectly and a fitted tuxedo to match.

“Are… you serious Gi-hun?! You said casual but what is with…all this?!” (Y/n) exclaimed out of breath already from just the sight of him. Gi-hun pouts softly those expert puppy eyes find their way down to her. “N-no.. d-don’t give me that look!” She whined placing both hands on his chest gently pushing him away.

“I know but you always look very nice and I figured why not dress up for our special day out?” He grumbled, continuing to give her that pouting face. (Y/n) groaned before grabbing his hand.

“Be lucky you are cute.”

“Wait you think I’m c-” He was cut off being dragged out towards this car. ‘Remember this is all professional,only friends.’ She thought.

_1 Year Later_ (Start of season 2)

The following year had been a mess for (Y/n). It felt like Gi-hun purposefully made extra time for them, daily meetings, friendly dinners, and how close he would get. Hovering over her while she worked or pressed against her from behind. It all was very confusing, all these signals just to be told they are friends…All she could do was smile and agree. However, today changed everything when (Y/n) and one of her workers found the salesman. Gi-hun felt his pulse rate spike as they were on a phone call. “Be careful! Do not get too close, I am on my way.” He said slamming on the gas pedal.

“I will be fine Gi-hun! Shit we are on foot again. My tracker is on so I will be fine.” She said, The race against the clock had Gi-hun sweating in fear of losing (Y/n) . At this point having the salesman in his grasp didn’t matter.

“Hey! Are you there!? (Y/N) answer me!” Gi-hun yelled as he heard scuffling , the sounds of a fight. “Fucking answer me!” He cried before the phone went dead. This was worse than any other nightmares he experienced. Worse than all those dame games combined. Gi-hun slammed on the brakes, jumping out of his vehicle running down the alleyways turning each corner; the only sound was his own heart beat ,thumping against his chest. “(Y/N)!” He yelled and looked around before falling to his knees seeing blood all over the ground. His heart sank, falling to his knees seeing her phone there on the ground. He rubs his tears away before calling his other contacts. He would tear down all of Seoul if that's what it took….

Seong Gi-hun had searched the surrounding areas and had men everywhere looking for you but nothing. The man finally decided to go back to his hotel to ponder everything but hope was fading quickly. That's when it happened he froze seeing the hotel door was not locked as usual, you are the only one who had a key to his place. Gi-hun pulled his gun out walking into the building. Each step felt like it made the hall grow in size. Was it even possible? He didn't know if it was dizziness or the idea of finding your dead body. A tense feeling formed hearing your whimpering coming from one of the rooms. Gi-hun rushed into the door nearling falling as he did. (Y/n) was laying on the bed tied up soaked in blood. It set a fire in Gi-hun seeing her in this condition. He pulled the blind fold down, her eye bruised and tear flowing down them. “(Y/n)...” He whispered, undoing your binds.

“Gi-hun.” She gasped, leaning against his embrace. “I am sorry the girl I was with told him I knew where you would be… He made us play some games… I won and he shot her. Gi-hun he is in the room he-” (Y/n)’s eyes widen as Gi-hun cuts her off with a passionate kiss. (Y/n) leans in moaning loudly fisting his raven hair.

“(Y/n) listen to me… Stay here I will be okay. I promise here’s my weapon. If I don't come back I want you to shoot him.. I love you okay? I want you to stay here, don’t move…promise me.” He begged, (Y/n) nodded slowly.

“I promise.” She whispered, giving one last kiss. (Y/n) closed her eyes tightly, unable to watch Gi-hun disappear. Now she laid there breathing heavily. Her body flinched hearing the gun shot go off. (Y/n) knew she promised Gi-hun to stay put and the shot shattered that. She darts to the door, opening it to find Gi-hun standing there with soft eyes.

He took (Y/n) by the hand gently leading her to one of the bathrooms, “Clean up and I will get you new clothes.” Gi-hun turned around but (Y/n) grabbed his arm.

“Don’t leave me…” She whispered. Gi-hun nods looking down into her eyes. His own widen seeing as (Y/n) starts to unbutton her shirt. “Its okay to look.” (Y/n) reassured Gi-hun, after the comment he couldn't pull himself to look away from her gorgeous body. The blood soaked clothes hit the ground and the bloody mess ran down towards the drain. (Y/n) sighed deeply letting the water fill up. “So we aren’t just friends…are we?” The long awaited question was finally asked.

“No, we are much more than friends.” Gi-hun whispered .

“THEY WHY?! After the last 2 years of leading me on… did you not realize how it made me feel when you kept reminding me we are just ‘friends?’... I won't accept ‘I was trying to protect you’ as an excuse.”

He frowns picking up the rag to clean (Y/n)’s back,” Listen… I have nightmares every night about the games and ever since I met you my nightmare was seeing you die there. These people are fucked up, (Y/n) you seen what that guy is capable of and it was just you and the other girl. Imagine that but only your friends being forced to play these twisted games. I realized I had dragged you in far enough not including gaining feelings for you which I could tell were mutual. I never meant to hurt you but I knew I would rather you be heartbroken than dead because of me.” (Y/n) rubs her tears away, not giving him a response yet continues to allow Gi-hun to wash her body. “Let me get you a towel.” He whispered gently, turning around to get her one of them once she looked over to her Gi-hun felt body go warm. He was struggling this whole time to be a gentleman but seeing (Y/n) naked before him sent his blood flowing south.

It would be hard not to notice the bulge in Gi-Hun’s pants as he stood there like a deer in headlights. “I assume it's been a while?” (Y/n) asked and poor Gi-Hun could only nod in response, unable to form proper words. Step by step she took her time walking towards her handsome partner. She gabbes Gi-hun’s hand as he blindly follows her into one of the many rooms the hotel has.

“(Y/n)-”

“Gi-hun shut up.” She pushed the door opening before turning around sitting on the bed pressing her breasts together. “Strip.” Her voice is low and commanding. Like an obedient puppy he instantly began to strip, first his shirt. (Y/n) was surprised by his nice lean body having some muscles around his arms. She smirked as Gi-hun slowly pulled his pants,along with his boxers, down revealing his throbbing cock. “Lay down.”

Gi-hun quickly throws himself on the bed causing her to giggle. “Sorry but god you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He was sitting up as she crawled on top of Gi-hun. He eagerly found her lips grabbing a fist full of her (h/c) hair groaning as his cock grinds against her wet cunt. “God you are a soaked baby.” He reached down rubbing her clit roughly earning angelic moans from her mouth.

“Fuck Gi-hun!” She gasped as he flipped them over, pressing her into the bed. Gi-hun kissed her neck roughly, his hands glinds up and down her body. “Mmm, I need you!” She pleaded which all it took as he plunged into her warmth. He groaned loudly, not hiding any of his vocal pleasures.

The sounds of their heavy breathing and slapping skin filled the room. He moaned as (Y/n) rolled her hips up, “God baby.” He growled, thrusting harshly as the bed started to shake. “I'm so close.”

She pulled him closer. “Please baby cum in me. Load me up!” (Y/n) begged, pressing her body up against Gi-hun’s. He reached down rubbing her swollen clit helping her orgasm. “FUCK!” The female cried out as her inner walls clamp down, milking his cock dry.

Gi-hun shakes from the pleasure forehead pressed against her. “That was amazing.” He whispered before pulling out collapsing beside her. He nuzzled (Y/n)’s cheek as the cuddle under the covers. He sat there pondering the next move to make because in the salesman’s pocket was a card… If he went he wanted to make sure (Y/n) would be safe and taken care of…

_October 31st 9pm Club HDH_

“Stay here and promise me you will be safe? I don't want you to get hurt.” Gi-hun whispered. “I love you baby.”

(Y/n) took a deep, “I will be okay my love now hurry up and go. It's only 3 hours before it's time to meet and I know it’s a decent drive.” She kissed Gi-hun once more before he left. (Y/n) took a moment going to the window as their team set out to the Club HDH. After she was positive they were gone (Y/n) reached into her own pocket pulling out a card, on one side a triangle, square, and circle was printed, on the other a time and location.

‘If you want to ensure his safety the only way is to join yourself. We both know how he is, don't we?’ Those words from the salesman were stuck in her head. (Y/n) knew Gi-hun had to join the games… she wouldn’t allow him to go alone. Gathering her stuff she ran out to follow her GPS to the pick up location…

[upthewitchypunx]

I was trying to run away from wiccan books because I didn't vibe with the whole god/goddess idea so I read a book marketed as "traditional witchcraft" called the crooked path.

but then the book is talking about a witchfather and a witchmother! (or something like that)

and it feels a little too similar of the wiccan god - goddess.

So I do some research and I found out the "traditional witchcraft" was originated by this guy Robert Cochrane who allegedly just took some of the Gardner stuff and changed to his liking. Them claimed it was from his family old lineage of witches.

I feel like It's so hard to find anything trustworthy about witchcraft

I saw this come in last night and it annoyed me because it was so simplistic, so I thought I would leave it for the morning. 

First, I have no idea about what you mean when you say "trust worthy"  information. It's all real, someone gained the knowledge from somewhere and it is real to them. Whether or not you believe it is irrelevant to the "trustworthy" or "real-ness". Gnosis is gnosis.

Second, traditional witchcraft is more of an umbrella term. It's not a specific practice. You've got your cunning folk, folk magic practitioners, maybe you include sabbatic witchcraft there, or a variety of animistic location based practices. It's not one practice. Sometimes at the base I think people were drawn to it because "it's not Wicca" or specifically, because has nothing to do with Gardener. Just because a religion is duotheistic though, doesn't mean it's Wicca.

Cochrane didn't just take from Gardener, he studied with Gardener and was initiates into Wicca. But Gardener stole from Crowley, (then Valiente had to fix it) They were all stealing from each other and Golden Dawn shit.  All those occultist types and early witches were trying to prove their legitimacy by how long their lineage was whether if they said their family was witches or they learned from some coven somewhere that claimed to be a unbroken line ...blah blah blah. Margaret Fucking Murray and her great witch cult hypotheses is why we can't have nice things.

Anyway, Cochrane studied with Gardener and they had a falling out so he started his own deal which is the Clan of Tubal Cain, based on the name of first blacksmith in the Bible and having a bit of biblical cosmology to the mix, which tends to squick out some folks who never dealt with their personal religious Christian trauma. It's generally a magico religious tradition, which Wicca is too, but they say it's not the same so we are just gonna respect that. (Pretty interesting that Doreen Valiente had he magical hands in that soup too, eh?)

Reading books and studying witchcraft practices doesn't mean you have to follow them, but I think it is important to know the history and where certain practices fit of for nothing else than to understand where you fit and what you are and are no interested in your practice.

It's really not hard to find "trustworthy" history of witchcraft and magic. Once you know the history it makes individual interpretations make more sense.

And finally, here's a link to Something Kelden, the author of The Crooked Path, had to say about the Witch Father/Witch Mother as archetypal and how it is not intended to be informing gender binary or even necessary in traditional witchcraft at all if it doesn't work for you.

[alexihollis]

The Orphans

Technically, crews outside of the alliance weren't allowed to call meetings. If Sully were any bit smarter, he would realize what a slight it actually was that Cyrus was entertaining this at all. How little concern Cyrus truly had about Sully and the Orphans, beyond the fact that they kept challenging crews to rumbles and being an overall nuisance to anyone north of 116th street.

"Why do we have to be here?" Fox whined, voice quiet as she tucked her chin on Swan's shoulder. "It's fucking freezing."

Swan rolled her eyes, even as she felt amusement tug at the corners of her mouth. She jostled her shoulder a bit, to Fox's tired grumbles. "Cyrus said."

"Everything's 'Cyrus said' nowadays," Fox continued to grumble as she straightened once more, throwing a glare at where Sully was talking with Cyrus and Cleon. The other crews' leaders milled about, talked amongst each other. Rembrandt had dragged Ajax over to the Hurricanes at the beginning, something about a mural, when it became clear that Cyrus did not expect everyone to pay attention to Sully's crap. Cochise decided to call a medics' meeting over in another corner of the park. Cowgirl was...

Getting busy in a dark corner with a Bizzie. Great.

"Hey," Swan felt Fox check her shoulder. "Cleon."

Swan looked to Cleon, who subtly tilted her head back, telling her to come over. "Go hang out with Cochise."

Fox bristled. "I'm fine-"

"Fox."

Ever the teenager, Fox rolled her eyes, but headed over to where Cochise was. Swan took to Cleon's side at the same time Masai took Cyrus, exchanging subtle nods as Swan watched Cyrus' eyes narrow, her jaw set. Cleon looked nearly murderous.

Interesting.

"So, let me see if I understand this," Cyrus said, her voice pleasant, but steel. "Not only did you call an alliance meeting as an outsider, but you called as the leader of a crew with no terf, no colors, and no name?"

Sully bristled. "No. We're the real Orphans. I called the meeting to talk about a new crew taking over my terf. Aren't you supposed to handle that shit?"

...what?

"Watch your tone," Masai warned, voice dark. Swan made it clear that people were to treat Cleon with respect, but Masai took it to another level.

Cyrus raised her hand just slightly. Swan had seen her do it before, her way of telling Masai to take a step back for a moment, let her handle it.

"Maybe I misunderstood," Cyrus sounded almost sweet. Sully was a dead man. "Cleon. What did you hear Sully tell us just now?"

"Sounded like his leadership was challenged, they fought, and Sully chose to split off with some of the dumber members of his crew when the rest chose to follow their new leader and now wants to whine about the whole thing unfair," Cleon said.

Oh. So Sully was terminally stupid.

"Yes, that is what I heard as well." Cyrus nodded, her voice becoming sickly sweet almost as her gaze sharpened on Sully. "Along with some really lovely commentary on women. How much of this has to do with the fact that this new leader is a woman?"

"Mercy's a shit-stirrer." And now one of Sully's underlings was talking. Because they were all so, so stupid. "She got all the girls riled up over nothing-"

"According to my scouts, it isn't nothing," Cyrus finally let her anger into her tone. "Unless one of those girls - and I say girl, because she is sixteen years old - landing in the hospital with a broken femur is nothing."

...so they were suicidal as well. Because that was the only reason Swan could think of that they would dare try to bring that mess in front of Cyrus.

At her words, Sully and his lackeys seemed to finally realize that this was not the meeting they thought it was. Their eyes became shifty, faces paled.

"Cleon," Cyrus looked to Cleon and they did that strange little silent communication that they had been doing since that first alliance meeting when Cleon managed to shut down the Rogues' attempts at an assassination.

Cleon nodded. Looked to Swan. "Take the others and go check in on this new Orphans leader."

"Yes, ma'am," Swan dipped her head in respect as Cyrus and Cleon turned back to Sully. As she passed Masai, Swan paused for just a second.

"We've got Cleon," Masai said, voice soft enough that only Swan could hear, his eyes never leaving Cyrus.

Swan nodded. It was difficult, handing over the reins, but Cleon was the best of them, anyways. Masai having her back was just added comfort. The Riffs had also been ridiculously protective of Cyrus ever since they almost lost her in that meeting back all those months ago. As long as Cleon stayed near Cyrus, Swan didn't mind taking the rest of their crew with her.

Well.

Mostly.

"He did not bite you."

"I felt teeth!"

"That is a hickey."

Cowgirl and Cochise were making Swan mind just a bit more with this argument that began the second they left the damn park.

"This is your fault," Ajax said darkly, half-glaring at Swan over Rembrandt's head, as the couple walked with Ajax's arm slung around Rembrandt's shoulders.

Swan did not respond. Not in small part because...yeah. Yeah, this one was on her, from when she got her first streetlight glimpse at Cowgirl's neck after they left the park and asked, "Did that boy bite you?"

Not even in a "I'm concerned, are you okay?" way either, more in a "Is that a thing that Straight People do?" way. But either way, the question made Cowgirl panic and demand to stop so Cochise could check her over. She was not pleased with Cochise's cursory glance and assertion that, no, the boy did not bite her.

"Cowgirl, you didn't even notice until Swan said something!" Cochise exclaimed.

"I was distracted!"

"So how are you so sure you felt teeth-?"

"Swan, make them stop," Fox begged from where she walked just behind Swan.

"He bit me!" Cowgirl yelled. "He bit me and none of you care!"

"You didn't even notice!" Rembrandt turned her head to look back at Cowgirl.

"I was busy!"

"Oh, God, I do not need to hear about you getting busy," Fox, again.

Ajax bit out at a laugh at that, "Don't act so innocent! I saw you with that boy at Jenkins last week."

"Ajax!" Fox hissed.

Too late. Swan's head had already snapped to Ajax. "What boy?"

Pure delight shined on Ajax's face. "She didn't tell you?"

"I swear to God-!"

"I thought we agreed," Swan started.

Ajax waved her hand, the one resting on Rembrandt's shoulder. "Nah, this one's good. College kid, actually. Helps his mom out with his younger siblings, works at a bodega to pay for school and help out with his family's bills, whole nine-yards."

"Why do you know all that?!" Fox's voice came out a little shriek-y.

"What, you think just cause you turned eighteen and graduated high school that I'm gonna let you just go off with any guy? No chance," Ajax scoffed.

"I'm an adult!"

"Hardly," Swan and Ajax said at this same time.

"Do you all know how filthy the human mouth is?" Swan was going to kill Cowgirl. "Cochise has told me horror stories!"

"About men in close combat in Vietnam. Not you getting frisky in the biggest damn city in the world," Cochise said. "Tell you what, you pop a fever in the next day or two, I'll take you to the ER myself."

Then, Fox was suddenly in Swan's ear. "Rooftops. Ten, at least." A moment passed, "All women. Aren't the Orphans strictly men?"

"There's been a bit of a shake-up," Swan muttered. "That's why we're here."

A bit farther down, someone left an alley. Two someones, actually.

"Hey, Warriors," the one in front called as they got closer. "You're a bit far from your terf."

She was a bit shorter than Swan. Her hands were wrapped, the bandage over her knuckles bloodied. The taller girl behind her didn't say anything, but her eyes were shifty, nervous, and she crossed her arms less like someone trying to intimidate and more like someone who didn't know what to do with her arms at all.

"Just coming by to say hello to the new Orphans Warlord," Swan said, tucking her hands in her pockets and leaning her weight back on her heels.

The woman cocked an eyebrow. "Found out about that fast."

"Sully called a meeting," Swan shrugged.

"The Orphans weren't invited into the alliance," the tall one said, the words rushed and the shorter woman's eyes closed in barely concealed annoyance. "This ain't Riff business. Or Warrior."

"Crews, in or out, are allowed to do whatever they want internally to settle leadership disputes," Swan said. She had been repeating that sentiment a lot the past couple months. "This is just a hello."

"You could understand why you bringing enforcers around here might make some of us a bit jumpy," the short one intercepted, subtly taking a step back to place her heel on the toe of the tall one's shoe. A silent shut-the-fuck-up that Swan barely caught.

Clever. The new Orphans War Lord was clever.

"I'm Swan. Cleon's Number Two," Swan said. "Sounds like you know Ajax, Cochise, and Cowgirl. Fox here is our lead scout and Rembrandt's our tagger. We don't bring them when we want a fight."

Which earned her a swift, likely less-subtle kick to the back of her shin from Fox. They were working on Fox's fighting, but there was a ways to go on that front before Cleon would feel comfortable sending her out for a planned fight.

"...I'm Mercy," the short one said. Nodded her head to the side. "That's...Harley."

The taller one's eyes went wide. Looked at Mercy for a second. She straightened, her shoulders farther back. "Yeah."

Uh-huh.

"You have anywhere we can chat?" Swan asked.

They did. An old, abandoned orphanage. It actually was a pretty interesting hang out, all things considered. If freezing.

Mercy led them to what seemed to be an old dining room, though clearly one not used often.

"What do you want to know?" Mercy asked.

"Your side of the story," Swan said. "What you plan to do now."

"How many of you there are," Ajax tried to slide in.

"Not even a chance," Mercy responded.

Ajax shrugged. "Worth a shot."

"I had a disagreement with the way Sully was running things. I challenged him. I won fair and square. End of story," Mercy said. "Our plan is to keep to ourselves, keep to our terf."

"You aren't too worried about Sully, then?" Swan asked.

Mercy shrugged. "Beat him fair and square. If you're here, that must mean he ran to Cyrus and word was she wasn't too happy with him anyways."

Swan stared at Mercy.

Mercy stared right back.

"You really aren't going to say what the disagreement was about?"

"You really expect me to believe you don't know?" Mercy shot back.

Cowgirl barely hid her snort of laughter.

"We don't want any problems with the alliance," Mercy promised. "Are we cool?"

"Not my call to make," Swan said. "But I can say you probably don't need to worry just yet. Cyrus wasn't too happy with Sully and neither was Cleon."

Mercy nodded, as if digesting the information. "Is that all you needed?"

Swan looked back at Cochise, who simply shrugged. "About it. Anything else you want to tell us?"

And for a second, Swan thought Mercy might say something. Add something. But she shook her head and that was that.

"So she's hot," Cowgirl said as soon as they passed Tremont.

Silence.

"You got something you want to tell us, Cowgirl?" Rembrandt finally asked.

"Wha- No! But- c'mon, she's hot. Are we really going to pretend like she isn't?" Cowgirl asked.

"Is it something we needed to comment on?" Cochise asked back.

"Wow." Cowgirl shook her head. "Wow, I am in the gayest gang in all of New York and the actual lesbians are going to pretend like they don't know what I'm talking about? Really?"

"I don't think we beat the Hurricanes, actually," Fox said.

Ajax scoffed, "Yes, we do."

"Cowgirl isn't gay," Fox said.

Silence, once more.

"You got something you want to tell us, Fox?" Rembrandt, once more, this time laughing as she said it.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you knew what I meant!" Fox exclaimed, flustered now.

"Swan, back me up here," Cowgirl said. "Mercy's hot."

"She's really clever," Swan said instead. Because that was where her mind had been the whole time since leaving.

Mercy clearly did not intend to become the leader. That shit happened all the time across the city, gang disputes that create leaders by accident. Becoming the leader was the easy part. Surviving the first few weeks? That was the challenge and one Mercy recognized.

The bad leaders, the dumb ones - they didn't. They didn't realize that the hard part had yet to come and that they needed to be ready, needed to rally their forces and stand strong for when others came at them. Maybe the Warriors came as friends, but Mercy recognized that soon, not-so-friendlies would come along to poke at the new leader and test the new boundaries.

Mercy said the reason behind the change didn't matter, she was the leader now.

Mercy said, sure, come into our hang out, but you aren't seeing where we actually hang.

Mercy said I'll answer your questions, but I'm not pretending that you don't already know more than I want you to.

Clever answer after clever answer. Cleon would be impressed.

"That is...not what I was talking about at all," Cowgirl said.

"Cleon's gonna love this," Cochise snorted.

--------

Hey! Hey - look at that! It stayed fluffy! It stayed fluffy, guys!

[snnynatural]

i  made  a  new  years  post  on  my  positivity  blog  (  @lumiiiscorner  -  send  your  friends  some  love  ),  but  i  will  now  make  a  post  here!  feel  free  to  read  or  don't!  this  is  mainly  a  reflection  on  how  this  year  went.

2024…..  oh  man…..  i'm  gonna  have  to  admit,  it  was  the  worst  year  of  my  life.  not  being  paid  for  an  entire  year,  my  mom's  health,  overworked,  unemployed,  burnt  out,  existing  for  other  people,  and  so  on.  mental  health  spiraling  downward,  but  i  have  started  my  first  session  of  therapy  yesterday,  which  means  i  am  entering  this  new  year  with  self  healing.  not  only  that,  but  i  decided  to  try  on  a  new  career  path  (a  silly  one)  and  will  be  out  of  the  country  for  a  month  visiting  my  sister.  so  maybe  things  will  hopefully  turn  up!

with  this  year  being  the  way  it  is,  i  do  want  to  give  a  few  shoutouts  to  those  that  were  there  with  me  the  whole  time.  whether  it  was  the  beginning  of  the  year,  middle,  or  end,  you  guys  specifically  saw  how  much  shit  i  was  going  through  and  guided  me  through  it  and  i'm  forever  grateful.  some  of  you  might  be  tagged  more  than  once  since  i  will  be  making  this  post  on  all  my  blogs  and  you  guys  most  likely  follow  and  interact  with  me  in  all  of  them:

@rhodaes  oh  bitch…  we've  been  through  the  ringer  haven't  we?  if  this  year  has  taught  me  anything,  it's  how  despite  how  ugly  it  gets,  you  can  come  out  stronger.  and  we  did  just  that.  you  going  through  your  own  mess,  me  going  through  mine,  and  us  hitting  rocky  paths  but  here  we  are  now!  learning  more  about  each  other  and  continuing  to  love  each  other.  you've  been  my  day  one  since  i  came  back  to  indie.  and  you  remain  my  day  one  to  this  day.  can  i  just  say  how  proud  i  am  of  us?  cause  i  really  fucking  am.  this  year  was  a  bitch,  but  we're  gonna  be  tackling  2025  locked  arm  and  arm.  i  am  proud  of  how  far  you've  come  and  i  am  grateful  for  everything  you've  done  for  me  while  i've  been  falling  apart.  it's  a  mess  when  we're  both  dealing  with  a  lot,  but  i  know  you  have  my  back  and  i  have  yours.  now  we  gotta  get  our  shit  together  and  pick  up  on  spn  watches  rekjgbesjkrg

@gccdgraces  my  water  birthed  child…i  love  you  so  fucking  bad.  you've  seen  me  at  my  worst  this  whole  entire  year  and  not  once  have  you  made  me  feel  small  or  stupid.  you've  held  my  hand  through  this  fucking  nightmare.  reading  my  google  docs  to  our  power  hours.  you've  always  the  patience  to  just  sit  with  me  and  help  me  either  sit  through  my  emotions  or  just  keep  me  distracted.  can  you  believe  we're  almost  done  with  swac  and  about  to  enter  their  breakup  episode???  not  ready!!!!!  but  fack  man.  i  love  you  so  bad.  never  ever  getting  rid  of  me  bitch.  EVER.

@nightmarishwritings  sammy  sammy  sammy.  my  cinnamon  roll  baby.  i've  known  you  for  quite  some  time  now  and  we've  been  through  some  shit  at  the  same  time.  i  think  you're  one  of  the  ones  that  take  notice  when  i'm  not  around  and  come  searching  for  me.  that  little  thing  makes  me  want  to  snuggle  you  and  never  let  you  go.  and  your  kind  words  always  have  me  weeping.  i  hope  you  know  how  much  you  mean  to  me  and  how  your  kindness  is  never  taken  for  granted.  you  are  truly  one  of  my  best  friends  and  i'm  not  letting  you  go  mkay?  and  i  will  always  remain  as  your  guard  dog.  BARK  BARK.  you  deserve  the  world  and  maybe  one  day  i  will  kidnap  it  for  you  :)))

@salvatoraes  idk  how  many  years  it  has  been,  but  i  fucking  love  you  my  kidney  owner.  you've  been  there  for  me  through  so  much  shit  and  honestly?  this  year  i  am  surprised  how  much  we  both  are  going  through  some  similar  shit.  but  just  know  that  i'm  always  here  for  you  like  you're  always  here  for  me.  you  have  one  of  the  kindest  souls  out  there  and  you  always  keep  me  giggling.  especially  during  our  who  loves  who  the  most  war.  it's  me,  obviously.  but  i  appreciate  everything  you've  done  for  me  all  these  years.  i  won't  ever  take  it  for  granted.  and  i  hope  to  stick  with  you  longer  <3

@safestkittykatintown  /  @wavrlynatural  my  bumbling  bee!!!  this  year  was  the  year  we  have  become  so  close  and  i  am  forever  grateful.  granted,  i  don't  remember  how  we  got  close.  i  only  remember  sonny  adopting  max  and  then  everything  was  history  krejgsr  dare  i  say,  you're  the  selena  to  my  demi  mhm  yes.  i  am  forever  grateful  for  everything  you've  done  for  me.  sitting  with  me  and  chatting  with  me  through  my  mess.  not  to  mention,  all  the  positive  things  you  send  my  way  i  always  keep  in  my  heart.  literally,  you  have  kept  me  sane  this  entire  year.  and  i  know  you've  been  going  through  your  hard  times  as  well  and  all  i  can  say  is  that  i  am  proud  of  you!  i  see  you  working  on  yourself  while  also  showing  so  much  care  to  the  people  around  you.  love  you  immensely  despite  us  being  in  our  shitty  brain  eras  JKBRKJGBE  we  got  this!

@broknfeed  well  well  well  if  it  isn't  my  other  day  one.  i  still  remember  screaming  when  i  saw  your  message  in  my  inbox  when  you  came  back  after  3  years.  4  years?  idk  i  can't  remember.  either  way,  you  returned  and  i  still  cry  that  you  went  searching  for  me.  and  since  being  back  together,  i  am  forever  grateful  for  you.  you  listened  to  me  while  i  cried  and  i  snuggle  you  through  the  screen  with  your  own  things.  just  a  little  struggle  buses  aren't  we?  despite  all  this  shit,  you've  been  there  for  me  and  i  love  you  more  than  anything.  and  you  know  i'll  continue  to  be  here  for  you.  day  one  always.

@sacrisaint  my  bb  gurl  <3  i  will  start  this  off  by  saying  i  am  proud  of  you  and  all  the  work  you've  done  and  are  continuing  to  do.  i  hope  you  know  how  grateful  i  am  that  you've  checked  up  on  me  despite  me  being  a  stubborn  butt  kjrebsgkjbr  it  means  a  lot  and  so  does  your  friendship.  i  don't  remember  how  we  got  close,  i  just  remember  meg  thirsting  for  sonny  and  now  here  we  are  kjrbgeskjgb  i  still  wheeze  at  the  tire  movie  we  watched  and  i  hope  to  continue  watching  more  movies  with  you  soon!  like  how  i  confused  you  with  those  disney  shorts  kjregbsjk  i  love  you  and  hugging  you  bunches.

@bloodsalted / @safetypinned  dixon  you  fucking  ass  butt!!  you  are  such  a  troll  and  i  fucking  love  you.  always  kept  me  laughing  while  i'm  going  through  my  shit.  not  to  mention,  you  are  my  honorary  filipinoooo.  i  still  remember  being  so  nervous  about  interacting  with  you,  but  you  have  welcomed  me  with  open  arms.  not  only  that,  you've  become  one  of  the  important  people  in  my  life  who  has  done  nothing  but  be  there  when  i'm  feeling  like  shit  and  listening  to  all  the  thoughts  i  have  in  mind.  i  know  you've  been  up  and  down  as  well  and  i  hope  you  know  that  you'll  have  me  kicking  those  thoughts  away. 

@firstsoncain / @ceocrowley  ava  my  dear!  what  started  from  crack  shit  to  actual  things  i  will  forever  be  uwu  about  <3  i  love  you  dearly  and  i  appreciate  you  being  there  when  i  have  been  spending  some  time  away  from  tumblr.  always  being  their  with  open  ears  and  all.  i  am  so  grateful  to  you  and  so  glad  that  we  met.  your  writing  had  me  nervous  af  and  i  didn't  think  you'd  write  with  little  ol'e  me  but  here  we  are!  i  love  you  to  the  moon  and  back  and  i  appreciate  you  and  your  kindness  more  than  you  know.

@qapsiel  at  this  point  i  will  bless  your  womb  rebgksjebrgjkrgk  sarah!!  now,  i  have  not  dumped  my  little  sad  ass  on  you,  but  i  wanted  to  shout  you  out  because  during  my  shitty  days,  idk  how  it  happens,  but  you  are  usually  the  first  one  to  get  me  laughing.  with  the  shit  castiel  puts  sonny  through,  it  is  literally  the  highlight  every  time  i  log  online.  can  you  believe  it's  been  an  entire  year?  of  cas  trying  to  bless  sonny's  womb??  the  joke  will  never  die  and  i  just  love  you  very  much  <3

@rottenache  /  @benbraeden  /  @hervelle  lilly!!!!  i'm  so  glad  we're  not  divorced  kjbgerskgjberkjgb  not  like  we  can,  it's  in  our  contract.  but  i  want  to  start  off  by  saying  i  am  proud  of  you!  you've  been  through  so  much  and  you've  been  growing  and  learning  and  that  is  fucking  admirable.  i  am  so  grateful  to  you  for  being  there  for  me.  not  to  mention  how  we've  been  through  some  similar  ooc  things.  it  sucks  but  at  least  we  have  each  other.  i  am  so  appreciative  of  you  for  being  there  for  me  and  all  the  kindness  you  have  shown  me.  you  are  fucking  amazing  and  i  love  you  soooooo  much  <3

@lastvessel  we  haven't  known  each  other  long,  but  i  hope  you  know  that  your  kindness  hasn't  gone  unnoticed.  it  means  the  world  to  have  you  message  me  checking  up  on  me.  it  may  be  small,  but  it  impacts  me  so  much  more.  i  hope  to  continue  writing  with  you  and  creating  things  with  you!  you  are  such  a  beautiful  soul  and  i  hope  you  know  you  have  a  friend  in  me!

extra  little  shoutouts  for  the  few  that  kept  me  laughing  and  smiling  throughout  this  damn  year: 

@ofblackskies  ,  @wantdead  ,  @evanave  (and  all  your  other  blogs) , @konkuurito

also  another  another  shoutout  to  new  friends  that  i  hope  to  create  more  things  with  you  <3

@crispyblonde  (and  all  your  blogs)  ,  @hadesheiir  ,  @warsaves  ,  @cfthesoul , @dalphahale

i  know  i  have  probably  missed  a  bunch  others,  but  those  who  are  not  tagged,  i  love  you  still  the  same!!  i always get anxiety when i don't include everyone krebjkreg i hope  you  all  have  a  happy  new  year  <3

[homestuckreplay]

🏡 Nine Best Homestuck Moments of 2009 🏡

It’s the end of 2009, and Homestuck is currently sitting at 1088 pages – pretty huge for something that hasn’t even been going for a full year. So as we close out the year and enter what’s sure to be the Homestuck Decade, I thought I’d count down my favorite Homestuck moments of 2009. I’ve loved it all, so it was really hard to narrow down, but when I reflect on this first year of the comic’s existence, this is what sticks in my mind.

9. Rambunctious Crow. (p.350-356)

This is my favorite Dave moment because it’s his irony in action, turned against him by the narrative now that things are getting real. Already knowing that Dave’s losing the betas is a ‘stupid’ and ‘embarrassing’ story (p.294), it still comes as a surprise just how stupid, embarrassing and out of nowhere the reality is. I’m on the crow’s side – it saw something cool and colorful in a grabbable position, and it went for it. It had no idea it was going to get accidentally sylladex-murdered, and I can’t wait to see its new life in Dave’s kernelsprite.

8. Peregrine Mendicant Delivers Justice. (p.844; 892-897; 921-925)

This one is cheating because it’s really ‘everything about PM’. I will give my heart to a paladin character with a big sword and strong ideals, any day – she will kill without a moment’s hesitation if it helps her fulfil her oath to the mail, but she’ll also reward a loyal follower who helps her cause, and this applies to robotic worms as much as it does to other people. She’s a minor character who’s out here behaving like a protagonist and one of her packages could be the thing that saves all the kids.

7. John’s Clever Disguise. (p.45-89)

I wish he was still wearing it. I really do. John acknowledges on page 46 that it’s a really shitty disguise and continues to wear it for several dozen pages. He adds the pipe, switches out the hat, considers a second pipe, and overall tries to perfect it. And he does it all the time too, because Rose calls him out on it! Whether he likes it or not, the spirit of the clown is within John, and I love this section as both a funny surface level gag and when thinking about the deeper meanings of a kid disguising himself in his own home.

6. Rose-Jade Flashback. (p.441-442)

This is my favorite Pesterlog in the comic so far, and sets up a really cool dynamic between Rose and Jade. They’re both talking circles around each other, Rose because she has to sound smart, detached, and in control, and Jade because she has to sound sunny, cryptic, and also in control. But Rose clearly has a lot of respect for Jade, and Jade clearly has a deep understanding of Rose, and those things are surprising – I expected Rose to be more skeptical of Jade’s powers, but instead they’re like light and dark counterparts with similar values of understanding the world around them.

5. Zazzerpan the Learned. (p.358-359)

This might be the one thing that holds Rose back from being my favorite character. How can she possibly ‘find this grisly abomination utterly detestable’. It’s a 20 foot tall statue of a mighty wizard and if you don’t think that’s the sickest shit in the entire world then WHAT is even the point. And the glimpses on page 715 and 757 showing the broken, future Zazzerpan indicate that something is going to happen to him; probably Rose with a giant bludgeoning weapon. Unless I cause a time paradox by appearifying him and putting him in MY house. (He would not fit).

4. Act 1&2 Title Cards. (p.82; 307)

The jokes are excellent, but to me Homestuck is at its best when it lets itself be serious, and page 82 is our first real glimpse of this. These pages let us sit with John and Rose’s mental states for a moment, and they let Hussie stretch their writing skills and play with words. My hope is that these pages will age really well and have a lot of foreshadowing in hindsight, but even if not, they create atmosphere better than any other moments in the comic so far, and they read like prose poetry.

His riddle is Absence itself. It is a mystery dispersing altogether, like the moon's faint reflection, with even one pebble of inquiry dropped in its black well.

Somewhere a zealous god threads these strings between the clouds and the earth, preparing for a symphony it fears impossible to play. And so it threads on, and on, delaying the raise of the conductor's baton.

3. FreshJamz and the Beta Kid Band. (p.77; 222; 337; 822; 830)

All four kids being musically gifted in a comic that incorporates sound is a great move, and the reveal that John can play piano beautifully after he’s spent 76 pages messing up his sylladex and house as he struggles to pick things up was a huge surprise at first. The four kids sharing an interest in video games would have been too obvious, but all of them loving music pokes at the fourth wall and gives them a way to connect on a deeper emotional level even while they are all hiding parts of themselves. It’s a big act of trust to share creative work with people, and seeing all the collaborations on Jade’s FreshJamz page is the best evidence of how close they all are.

2. Rose Adopts Vodka Mutini. (p.926; 1002)

Alright, I love cats. And I know that introducing a cute animal character is a cheap move for getting an audience to fall in love, but cmon, THIS kitten has FOUR EYES that BLINK SEQUENTIALLY and was made in a SLIME CHAMBER as a failed PARADOX CLONE. They CURL UP AND SNOOZE on Rose’s desk and become a TINY VOID CREATURE. I can’t be cynical about this. I am not immune to a tiny sweet face blinking up at me from an anachronistic teapot. I am screaming and crying with how badly I want this cat to curl up with me.

1. [S] WV: Ascend and [S] Jade: Pester John. (p.757; 1073)

I know I’m not alone in loving ‘WV: Ascend’; I’ve read several forum threads where people wax as rhapsodically about it as I do, and I was sad not to see as much love for ‘Jade: Pester John’ (maybe because it does similar work, so isn’t as unexpected). Both these pages are an expansion of what webcomics can do, they perfectly tie up existing plotlines, they’re really well scripted to the music, and it’s both rewarding and enjoyable to watch them several times in a row. ‘Explore’ is one of my favorite Homestuck tracks so far, and Skaia/Prospit during the eclipse is my favorite location visually. I know there’s a lot of skill and technique that goes into creating animations like this and making them feel emotional and satisfying to watch, but sometimes I don’t want to analyze them, I just want to sit and watch and let the Flash Magic roll over me.

Honorable Mentions. A few that were on the shortlist but didn’t quite make the cut because I made myself keep it to nine: the very first page (p.1), Rose putting the bunny back in the box (p.146-147), [S] John: Take bite of apple (p.246), Rose exploring her grimoire (p.301-305), John figuring out alchemy and successfully creating the pogo hammer (p.630-635), Rose attempting to send John the Sburb server CD (p.645-647), WV becoming the Mayor of Can Town (p.685), WV drawing the Skaian cosmology on the bunker walls (p.702-704), and the Midnight Crew’s Homestuck intermission (p.831-832). Yeah, I notice the blatant favoritism towards Rose and John in this post.

If anyone has a favorite moment so far that I’ve missed, send them in!!

[verpineshatterrifle]

sorry this is like, weeks after you asked, the holidays kicked my ass and then i got sick

so what repcomm does to address order 66 is establish throughout all four books leading up to it that the clones will follow orders, not because they don't have free will, not because they're mind controlled, but because following orders in a war is what makes you a soldier, it very often saves your life

they dont do any of the shit in tcw/tbb where roughly every other episode some character disobeys a direct lawful order likely meant to protect them, and the fact that they disobeyed is what saves the day (i am looking specifically at omega)

this reblog has a whole bunch of book quotes about how following orders is like. not optional. and actually good

repcomm also does some interesting stuff with the relationship of jedi and clones- the book series get a lot of hate for 'jedi bashing' but i really don't think that's fair. many of the primary characters are critical of the jedi order, but there isn't a single jedi character in the series that's actually treated as a full antagonist

basically, the series raises some very interesting questions about why exactly jedi, who are not trained as military officers, are in charge of an army suddenly. geonosis casualties are extremely high (1/3 of the entire army, 1/2 of the commando squads) specifically because the jedi had no idea what the hell they were doing with military tactics. the main character jedi spend the series trying their best to learn, acknowledging when their clone officers should be the ones calling the shots, being useful where they can. the series does a lot with subverting the command structure in interesting ways, how far you can really push that, when you can't. bardan jusik (a general) acts like an officer as little as he can possibly get away with while kal skirata (a sergeant) regularly pushes generals around. etain tur mukan (general) spends a lot of the series desperately trying to grow into that role. arligan zey (general, jedi master) is treated as a bit of a problem specifically because as head of the spec ops brigade he can't take that back seat role even if he wants to

so you have the clones who are to some extent aware that while the jedi have magic powers, their military qualifications are... somewhat lacking, and now we all just have to kind of deal with that as best we can

long story short, order 66 in repcomm is one of 150 contingency orders that every clone officer has memorized. it's not a sleeper agent activation phrase. there's stuff in there about killing/arresting the chancellor too, if necessary. in fact, here's all the known orders:

so in the books, when order 66 comes through, it's a lawful order directly from the supreme chancellor, communicating that the jedi are now acting against the republic, and must be stopped using lethal force. because what else are you going to do with extremely powerful magic space wizards with mind powers?? 'capture alive' isn't realistic if the jedi have turned on the republic

and then quite a few of the clones actually do disobey the order. i don't want to spoil anything directly in case you read the series, but omega squad is completely doing their own thing during order 66, a certain arc captain makes a certain choice of his own, delta squad is on kashyyyk, bardan is losing his mind trying to locate etain, it's absolute havoc

(the books also show you the battle of coruscant on the ground and just. damn. damn. it hits hard. really hard.)

idk it just makes me sad- that the version where men whose emotional journeys, relationships with their officers, militaristic mindset, intense battle fatigue, the hopes and dreams they manage to have and the doubts and questions they barely dare to voice even to each other... we see all that, and then they have to make a choice- obey a lawful order given by the supreme commander to perfect soldiers, or do the impossibly difficult, unthinkable thing, and as the man that the republic doesn't believe you are, disobey that order because some small doubtful part of you hopes that it's wrong?

also the extreme irony that the only real hope the jedi had of surviving order 66 was to either 1- refuse to play the game (bardan jusik took this option and was only capable of doing so because he was broken down to the point where he couldn't remain a general AND he had somewhere else to go and something useful to do, this is simply not possible for most jedi) or 2- consistently, for three years, despite what the republic and the war needs, despite what the men themselves want and are comfortable with, despite your own exhaustion and moral crisis, treat the clone soldiers whose lives are under your command, with nothing less than full respect and dignity and hope that when they're told you're a traitor and they need to kill you that they'll think twice

it makes me SO SAD that this was all trashed for mind control trope simply because a kid's show can't fit that much nuance and depth in it

here is my biggest complaint about the animated star wars shows (the clone wars and the bad batch, no comment on rebels)

before i even get started, i know these are kids shows told in 20 minute episodes, and that the reason for my beef is because the 2008 clone wars show was focusing primarily on the jedi, and didnt have the time/wasnt interested in treating the GAR as an actual military and needed to appeal to a young audience. i get that. i do. now with that out of the way im going to bitch and moan unapologetically about how X Thing Ruined Star Wars, because that's the fandom's national sport, ok?

the shows treat the GAR like a high school. everyone is somewhat childish (to appeal to the young audience). disobeying orders is something cool heroes do. (ANAKIN.) improvisation is treated as a fun and cool tactic that generally works out after a whacky adventure, not something you do as a last resort when your actual plan fails. main character's competency is primarily shown through their enemies (and sometimes their minor character allies) suddenly becoming inexplicably stupid.

'good soldiers follow orders' becomes a terrifying signal that a character has lost their agency. 'when have we ever followed orders?' becomes a rallying cry and heroic last words.

when youve written a military THAT badly, how are you supposed to force your beloved characters to follow Order 66? well, you're kind of stuck with mind control.

it didnt have to be this way 😭😭

[yeahtimesten]

a wedding to remember pt 1 - p.z

fake dating au, wedding guests, patrick zweig x reader

patrick zweig is desperate to prove to his parents he can make a commitment to tennis, by using you to show his parents he can commit, period.

multi parts, warnings - lots of cussing

Art Donaldson, Tashi Duncan, Patrick Zweig, and you all sat together in the Stanford dining call, the girls next to each other and the boys across. They all dug into their meals, making small talk, until:

“So, I gotta head out for practice,” Tashi said, gathering her things onto her tray and rising off of the booth. “Maybe later you two can meet us at our dorm and we can watch a movie or something.” She smiled at the two boys, as she traced her fingers down your hair.

“I actually have to head to my study group right now,” Art followed suit. “I’ll see you guys later.” The two walked out of the cafeteria together and the two of you remained seated, finishing your meals.

“What are you up to after this,” Patrick asked you, sliding his body across the bench to be face to face. “Got any plans?”

Patrick and you, within the two years you’d known each other, had never really hung out alone together. Usually, at least Tashi or Art accompanied you whenever Patrick came to visit. He wasn’t sure if he could consider you a friend, he mostly knew you as Tashi’s roommate, an acquaintance at best. You were sweet, you listened to his stories and told him your own. Whenever he came over, you had snacks that you knew he liked ready. Patrick knew your preferred choice of souvenirs were keychains and shot glasses, and he brought you some every time he came to visit from touring. But, they weren’t by any means close the way that Art and Patrick or Tashi and you were.

So, when Patrick asked you what you were doing next, you felt a bit awkward. Did he want to hang out or was he just being polite? Did he want something?

“I was just going to go back to my dorm and study,” you said plainly, taking another bite of her sandwich.

“I’ll walk you back,” he offered, with a small smile.

The two of you wrapped up your meals and headed out of the dining hall.

“So, what are your plans for this summer,” Patrick asked, biting the skin around his nails. He looked down the whole time, hoping not to catch your eyes.

“Um, well, I was going to go back home and find a full time job, I guess. Just save up money for next semester,” you shrugged. “What about you? Continuing your tour?”

“Uh, yeah, I’ve got a few trips planned for later in the season, more towards fall actually,” he sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Actually, my sister is getting married in two weeks so after my match next week in Indian Wells, I’ll fly out there to attend.”

Your both approached your dorm and you invited in Patrick, who took a seat on your bed and you at your desk.

“Oh that sounds like fun, Patrick,” you smiled at him, before quickly clocking a face contorted and twisted with disagreement. “Or, no, not fun? I know you talk a lot of shit about your family and your parents but it can’t be that bad, can it?” He eyed the girl in front of him who was so naive and unaware of his dysfunctional family.

“You don’t understand, they’re fucking crazy,” Patrick sighed. He pulled his legs up to sit cross legged in your bed.

You started to flip through your notebook and set up to study. “Okay, well do you have a role in the wedding or something? Are you the best man or a groomsmen?”

He scoffed. “God, no.”

“Alright then, just go for the actual wedding,” you shrugged, not looking away from your notes. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be weird to bring Art along, then you could just pick up a bridesmaid and call it a day.”

“I already have a plus one,” he coughed, and started biting his nails yet again.

“Oh, who,” you inquired, still more focused on your papers.

A beat of silence. Patrick placed his hands in his lap and looked at you, with a deeper tone of seriousness. You turned his way and caught his face, still as a stone. He looked like he had just been carved from marble, he was so still.

Your eyebrows furrowed and your head cocked to the side. “Who?” You repeated, growing worried and confused.

Patrick swallowed hard, unsure how to go about his words. “You, I hope.”

Patrick had been acting weird all day, you had caught that. Someone who was normally loud, unfiltered, and extroverted was suddenly quiet, reserved, and seemingly anxious as soon as he had seen you this morning. You blinked rapidly, trying to process what he said.

“Me? What do you mean me?”

“I want to take you to my sister’s wedding,” Patrick said plainly, with newfound sturdiness. He sat back on his hands and continued to look at you, who had now turned your chair to face him.

“Okay, I get that,” you nodded. “But, why? What for?”

“Well, like you said, it sounds like fun,” Patrick lightly chuckled, eliciting a sigh from you.

“Patrick, be for real.” You leaned forward in your swivel chair. “Why me? Why not Art? Or Tashi, even?”

“I have a favor to ask of you,” Patrick regained his seriousness. “A huge favor.” You just looked at him with wide impatient eyes, your arms gesturing for him to continue. “I need you to come to this wedding with me… And pretend to date me.” He sighed as if he’d been holding his breath for a long time, the weight of the request off his shoulders at last.

But, your face just contorted in more confusion.

“What? What the fuck, Patrick?! What for?”

“It’s hard to explain-“

“Well, try!” Patrick opened his mouth again, but you cut him off. “I mean, I don’t see why you can’t ask Tashi. I’m not good at lying, and I’m not trying to say anything about Tashi, she’s my best friend, but she’d be much better at something like that than I am.”

“Tashi wouldn’t work, she wouldn’t sell it,” he muttered more to himself. “I don’t know why you, y/n. You are sweet and polite, but cutthroat when need be. You’re smart, determined, pretty. You tell all these stories about how great you are with your friend’s parents, selling them an illusion of safety for their children before taking them to parties or whatever the fuck, so you must be kind of good at lying.” What started off so sweet, turned accusatory, and you couldn’t brush past that.

“I never sold an illusion. We stayed safe and out of trouble, none of my friends ever got hurt or arrested, so I wasn’t lying,” you corrected. “Just to go to some house parties, by the way. Not like we were knocking down some liquor stores.”

“I recall a story you told us about you calling your friend’s strict mom posing as a teacher asking for consent for her son to stay late for an extra curricular event so you take him and your friends to a concert.”

“I didn’t say I was a teacher, I introduced myself as Ms. y/l/n, and that I wanted to him to participate in a concert as an extra curricular activity to enrich his knowledge in music. We were in choir together! I never lied,” she pointed at him. “But again, Tashi can lie and she’s all those other things you listed. Ask her, I’m sure Art wouldn’t mind, he loves your schemes even when he warns you against them.”

“I already said Tashi wouldn’t work,” Patrick grew exasperated. He knew there might be some pushback and didn’t think you would just say yes on a whim, even though that’s what he hoped. But he actually hadn’t planned out the conversation very well to convince you. “Listen, my parents aren’t big fans of me playing tennis. They want me to quit, or at least step back a bit for now, and give me a seat on their company board. They say I can’t take anything seriously and say I won’t amount to much and I’ll just end up a washed up athlete someday. Tashi is a tennis player and they know that and even though she is all of those things, it would just come off as biased. You could convince them that maybe tennis isn’t half bad and that I can take something seriously and commit and have children to pass on the family wealth and name. You can sell that in a way she can’t.”

Your stern look softened. You sympathized with him. No, you didn’t have the slightest clue of what it was like to have parents who didn’t support you, but you had plenty of friends who had similar experiences of wanting to go through with their dreams but were held back by unsupportive parents.

“So? Will you attend the wedding with me?” You stayed quiet, biting the inside of your cheek. “We’ll be there for a week, we’ll attend a few get togethers before the main event. We aren’t in the wedding party, we’re just guests. The food will be good, I’ll even take you into the city.” He was desperate, and he grabbed both of your arms. “Please?”

You looked up at him, deep into his pleading eyes. Your heart melted, feeling needed by him. It’s true, you’d had a crush on him for a long two years. It wasn’t painful or deep. You knew he was hot stuff, you loved the way he made you laugh, you loved the tidbits of undivided attention he’d give you when you told a story. You were looking for any excuse to say no.

“I’m not good at lying,” you reinforced.

“You don’t have to be, you can be yourself. Holding hands occasionally isn’t a lie. My parents will appreciate the lack of PDA otherwise. And they might try to get to know you, surface level stuff, but they won’t drill you. They stopped asking so many questions when they asked a girl I brought over how it was like growing up in the plains of Montana and she got offended because she thought they called her state ugly and boring.” You both shared a giggle in what was before such a serious conversation, which made Patrick feel all the more comfortable. “She got so worked up and said ‘Montana may not seem like much, but it’s far from plain. It’s my home and it’s beautiful.’” He did a poor impression of the girl, eliciting more laughter from you.

“Poor girl,” you joked. “But, honestly Patrick, I can’t afford a plane ticket. And I know it’s just a week, but I was hoping to get a summer job as soon as possible to save as much as I can. I don’t even have a dress to wear to a wedding.” You hated admitting that, even though it was true. It wasn’t an excuse, it was a valid reason. You didn’t want to say no. Even though Patrick’s parents sounded like a pain in the ass, it did sound fun to prance around a mansion for a week.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to pay,” Patrick laughed. “It’s my treat, the whole week. Any expense, I’ll take care of. You can even go dress shopping on my dime. I know this is a lot to ask of you, I’ll make sure that you’re compensated.”

“God, Patrick, if you insist,” you teased. “I won’t hear you beg any longer.”

He scooped you into a big hug. “Thank you, y/n, seriously.” He gave you a peck on the cheek, causing you to blush.

once i had a love - blondie

Finals were over, closing up another year of college. Tashi and you stood in the shared dorm, packing away bags for summer break.

“So, you’re going to pretend to be Patrick’s girlfriend for a week,” Tashi stated, but it was also a question.

“Yeah, I guess,” you shrugged.

Neither of you were facing each other. Both of your luggage was stacked on beds on opposite sides of the room.

“I just don’t understand why.”

“I don’t either. He said I’ll impress his parents and I guess make them more accepting of him playing tennis? I don’t know…”

“No I mean, I don’t understand why you said yes.” You continued folding clothes and cramming your suitcases.

“Because he asked, I guess? It’s not like I had anything better planned, to be honest.”

“You’re too nice, y/n,” Tashi sighed. “And Patrick is a pussy. If he really loved tennis, he’d take it more seriously and he wouldn’t care what his parents think, he’d just go for it.”

“I don’t know, Tashi,” you sighed back, with a tinge of attitude. “But, I already obliged and he already bought the ticket, so… Too late now, I guess.”

A beat of silence passed.

“Are you mad at me?” Tashi finally turned towards you. “I’m not talking shit, I’m just being honest. I’m just saying, maybe if he put in an effort and didn’t glide by on talent alone, maybe his parents would take him seriously and support him.”

You stopped mid shirt fold to meet Tashi’s face. “No, Tashi, I’m not mad. I get it. I’ve heard you and Art talk to him about getting a higher education, applying to go here and be guided by an actual coach and trainers. I don’t know anything about tennis but, I agree. And I don’t know what me being there will do to actually help. But like I said, I have nothing better to do… And honestly? I’m excited to see his house. I’ve never been inside a mansion before, or even to an actual wedding, besides when I was a little kid and I was the flower girl.”

“Ha, I bet you were such a cute flower girl,” Tashi said, shaking her head. By now, the two of you had resumed packing. “Hey, remember those photos I showed you from the party Adidas threw me after I won the junior open?”

“Yeah?” Tashi turned her head to look at you.

“Patrick’s house is bigger than that,” Tashi nodded, as you turned her head, jaw dropped.

“No fuckin’ way,” you scoffed. “That place looked huge. Even bigger than that?”

“That’s what Art told me.”

“What’s up with you and Art anyways? Like, what’s the move between you two?”

“Well, I’m not initiating the ‘what are we’ conversation. Nuh, uh. We’ve been fucking around, and I know he likes me, and I think I’ve made it apparent that I like him back. He’s just taking his sweet ass time making it official,” Tashi explained. “Like we are basically together, but I don’t run off assumptions. I like labels, sooo. I don’t wanna say I’ll drop him but I don’t want to wait around forever, you know. I deserve more than a nonchalant boyfriend thing.”

“Art is not nonchalant,” you laughed. “He’s so obsessed with you, he’s just shy. Maybe he’s trying to wait for the right time.”

“There is no time like the present,” Tashi said. “Well, I don’t think we’ll see each other all summer… So, we’ll see.”

a/n - praying to gawd that i actually keep up with this. reminder you don’t have to listen to any song i link or even canonize any outfits i may link, tbh. i do it for self indulgence

divider by @/chachachannah

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

CaitVi after the fight

Hey, guys! I wrote a little thing for Arcane. It's the first time writing for this fandom, so sorry if it's shit, but I'm going to post it here, and also it's up on my AO3 if you want to read it there. The fic is called 'After Everything, There's Still Us' and my AO3 is crazy_stupid_potato (shameless self-promo, sue me).

Caityln could hear Vi amongst all the other clamour of voices, stampeding feet and crumbling buildings. She could hear her stopping people, asking if they’d seen her, Caitlyn, and to point her in the direction of where she was.

Caitlyn thought she’d be able to hear Vi amongst a crashing orchestra, and could see her in the darkest of rooms. She’d know her anywhere, no matter how much they both were changed by events in their life. 

Vi was getting closer, though she’d gone silent, likely having finally found out where Caitlyn was located. She saw a shadow stop outside the tent she was in, saw the shiver of their silhouetted shoulders as they took a deep breath in, and then the tent flaps moved apart and there she stood in stark relief of the sun streaming in.

Vi took two steps into the tent, flaps falling shut, and they just stared at each other for a moment. Caitlyn could see Vi’s eyes flicker over her body, even in the dim light. Her eyes always seemed to glow in the dark, the soft blue turning vibrant and electric. 

In turn, Caitlyn looked over Vi as best as she could. Her destroyed eye shivered as it tried to move the first few times Caitlyn tried to move her eyes beyond small flickers, so she just focused on the little parts. Vi’s arm in a sling. The bandages still covering the wound on her stomach, which seems to have opened up again, likely in the woman’s aggressive romp through the crowd, no doubt having defied a medic’s orders to stay put. The thought made a dazed, tired smile stretch Caitlyn’s lips, and that is what seemed to break the silence and Vi was surging forward, coming to a stop on her knees by Caitlyn’s cot.

“Cait-” it seemed like a sentence was meant to follow her name, but Vi just let the nickname dissipate into the air, staring down at Caitlyn with concern, but also bone-deep relief in her gaze. 

“I’m fine,” Caitlyn answered the unspoken question in Vi’s eyes. Immediate disbelief replaced Vi’s concerned expression, making her look almost angry, but Caitlyn knew she was far from it. Caitlyn grimaced sheepishly.

“I’m alive and plan to remain it for the foreseeable future,” she amends. That dramatic proclamation finally gets a smile out of Vi, and a little huff of amusement. 

“At least it’s both of us that look like shit, this time.” Vi jokes and Caitlyn laughs, though it quickly turns into a wince as it pulls at her stomach wound. Vi immediately notices and sends her an apologetic smile. 

“I doubt I pull off the look as well as you do,” Caitlyn returns, sending Vi a suggestive smile. Vi laughs, looking away but Caitlyn sees the blush on her face. She is always amazed that she’s able to fluster Vi. It used to seem like such an impossible task. 

“Don’t doubt yourself, cupcake,” Vi tries to flirt back, flicking her eyes up and down Caitlyn’s body in a way that was supposed to seem just as suggestive as Caitlyn’s comment, but it falls short as Vi is unable to mask the concern that still lingers. Caitlyn’s smile softens to something kinder, more sympathetic.

“Hey,” she says gently, and Vi looks up, meeting her eyes. “I’m going to be fine, we both are.” There’s a horrible, grief-stricken look on Vi’s eyes for the brief moment it takes her eyes to well-up and then she’s crying and Caitlyn is baffled.

Vi covers her face, curling in on herself, letting out small apologies between sobs and heaving breaths. Caitlyn doesn’t know what to do, she can barely move so she just rests a hand in Vi’s hair, the closest part to Caitlyn. She doesn’t know why Vi is crying, but Caitlyn doubted it was an adrenaline rush finally leaving her body in a cathartic release of emotion. She doesn’t seem the type to be affected so much by those types of rushes anymore. So she lets Vi cry as much as she needs to, for as long as she needs to, gentling fingers through her matted hair. The strands are so dirtied with dust, and clumped with sweat that she looks less like an angry oil-slick and more like a wet, stray dog.

After a long few minutes of sobbing, Vi drops her hand from her face, instead it comes up to curl around Caitlyn’s wrist. She’s still breathing heavily, each exhale shaky and sometimes incomplete. Caitlyn remains quiet until Vi has her breathing mostly under control.

“What happened?” She asks, tentatively. Vi starts crying again, but it’s not heaving and inconsolable like before, just silent tears streaming down her face, following the tracks the previous ones made through the dirt on her cheeks. Her breathing remains shaky, but she’s not hyperventilating like she had been. 

“Jinx-” Vi chokes out. “She- she’s-” Vi bows her head, face scrunching with agony of the emotional kind. Caitlyn doesn’t need her to say anything else, she remembers her own reaction to finding out her mother was killed in the explosion vividly.

Caitlyn still didn’t know how she felt about Jinx. Her emotions were complicated, but she didn’t need them figured out to be able to understand Vi’s grief. 

“Oh, Vi. I’m so sorry.” She struggles to sit up, but manages, Vi scrambling to help her. 

“What-” she clears her throat, panic suddenly sobering her from her sobs, “what’re you doin’?” She kneels in front of Caitlyn, uninjured hand on her thigh as if to stop her from getting up. That hadn’t been Caitlyn’s intention anyway, but she doesn’t bother telling Vi that. Instead, she opens her arms, looking Vi in the eyes encouragingly. She sees Vi take in her request, eyes going wide, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly, then she’s throwing herself into Caitlyn’s arms, careful to avoid aggravating both of their injuries more. Caitlyn spreads her legs to accommodate the broad woman, and Vi shuffles closer, burying her head against her shoulder. 

Caitlyn rubs a hand soothingly up and down Vi’s back as she heaves sobs into her bare shoulder, burying her face in Vi’s grimey hair.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers into the strands before resting her cheek against her head. She believed it. Vi was the strongest person she’d met. She’s been through so much. So much violence, pain and sorrow; some of that caused by herself, she thinks guiltily, and they still have so much to do, not just reconciliations between themselves but with the two cities as well. Yet, right now, all Caitlyn can think about is how this beautiful, strong woman in her arms will be okay. It’ll hurt, they both know it will, but in the end, they’ll leave this tragedy, this exhaustion and grief behind, and heal from it. Together.

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter X: The Destruction of Your Innocence

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev | diaries coming VERY soon

songs for this chapter: an ode by mat kerekes, the price of growing up by watsky

summary: an evening of fun with the party, and for once nothing feels too heavy... until it does.

chapter tags: none! Just a good wholesome dose of friendship on all counts… the calm before the storm, if you will.  | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI each chapter will have its own content/trigger warnings

a/n: I would consider this the end of Act I.... meaning.... well. I'm sure you can figure that out. Happy new year everyone! 🎉

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog to support the author!

taglist @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality @munsonburn3r | comment/message me to be added!

--

“Good morning!” Robin answers the door to her apartment with far too much pep for eight am. Your ears are still ringing from last night, and you wince at her volume. “Oh, sorry. Forgot you’re so not a morning person. Come in!” She whispers the last part, and you chuckle lightly as you cross the threshold, only for your smile to fall from your lips. Eddie is splayed on the couch, a black coffee in his hand as Steve talks at him about how important reading the instructions is. 

“Hi, Bee!” Steve greets you from the kitchen, and Eddie offers a brief wave.

“Mornin’. Sorry, I didn't know it was a party, I would’ve dressed nicer.” You’re suddenly embarrassed by your choice of outfit: A pair of bike shorts and a massive t-shirt draped over your body like a nightgown.

“Oh, shush, you look great. Especially for what we’re doing today.” Robin, clad in overalls, walks by you and into the living room, where differently sized planks of wood are spread out on the carpet, a pile of screws in a bag next to them, and the instructions booklet flattened to the first page. 

“What exactly are we doing?” Eddie asks, sitting up. “I was just told I was needed, I was never told why.” He looks at you, as if asking for help. You shrug.

“We’re putting this thing together,” Robin toes the mess of boards. “Need all hands on deck, this ain’t no IKEA furniture.” 

“Good thing, IKEA’s shit would fall apart in a week.” You kneel in front of the pieces, examining them closely. “Shouldn’t be too difficult, looks like everything we need came with it.”

“Okay, great! Steve, put on some jams. Bee, come with me for a second.” Robin offers her hand, and you stand up to follow her into her bedroom.

“What’s up?”

“Are you, like, good?”

“What?” The question confuses you.

“Like, with Eddie here. I know we didn’t tell you, it wasn’t really planned, Steve just texted him for extra help and I didn’t wanna argue because I don’t wanna be the one to have to help him move the thing when we inevitably have to.”

“Rob, it’s cool. I’m over the initial shock of Eddie being here every time I see you guys. I  know it’s been awhile, but this was a normal occurrence once.”

“Yeah, I know, it just hasn’t been for a really long time. Wanna make sure you’re okay, that’s all.”

You kiss her cheek, smiling warmly. “It’s okay, Bob. Thank you.”

With that, she leads you back into the room, where Steve and Eddie stop speaking abruptly, as if they’d been conspiring something you aren’t allowed to know.

“Okay!” Steve claps his hands together, breaking the tension. “Let’s do it, we’re losing daylight.”

–

“Okay, this goes here–” “No, Rob, that goes there, this goes here–” “Bee, hand me the screwdriver–” “Would you move, Ed, you’re in my light–” The four of you talk over each other for hours, screwing and hammering pieces into place, groaning when you realize something is upside down. 

“Wait, wait, shut up!” Robin eventually exclaims before standing up to admire the fruit of your labor. “We fuckin’ did it!” In front of you sits a complete, sturdy entertainment center, every piece where it belongs. You feel a burst of pride as you stand up next to your friends, resting your hands on your hips to take in the sight before you. 

“Look at us! And in a miraculous turn of events, Bee and Eddie didn’t maim each other to death!” Steve adds, elbowing Eddie in the ribs and earning himself a shove. “You know, this might be cause for a gathering.” Eddie announces, earning groans from you, Steve, and Robin. To Eddie, a gathering didn’t mean the usual party with beer and weed, loud music and the likelihood of drama. For that, you were grateful. However, it did mean a very loud, passionate game of Dungeons & Dragons with four teenage boys. The cleanup is comparable, and you don’t count on Eddie helping out. 

“Please, Rob? I promise, we’ll be out by ten. There’s just barely any room at my place, and you guys always have the good snacks.” You cock an eyebrow at Eddie, but he’s too busy pouting at Robin to notice. 

“Ugh, fine! Out by ten, no exceptions.” He opens his mouth to thank her, but Robin quickly adds, “And only if Bee will come.” She crosses her arms over her chest triumphantly, like she’s found the secret way out of the deal.  

“What? Why is this suddenly on me?” You look from her to Eddie, whose eyes are wide with his friend’s betrayal. 

“Because I know you hated those things.” She grins. You remember, consistently left out of the games in high school because you were friends with a couple cheerleaders. Instead, being forced to watch from the corner, mumbling under your breath every time one of them did something stupid, and throwing popcorn into Eddie’s hair. “Y’know what, I might actually join you. If they let me play.” You glare up at Eddie, like you’ve passed the grenade. To make you show up, he has to let you play. If he doesn’t let you play, the gathering is off. The snake eats its own tail. 

But he shrugs. “Okay, yeah.” 

You and Robin share a look of exaggerated surprise, gasping in unison like he’d dropped to one knee. “What happened to the golden rule? No Darksiders!”

Eddie throws his head back with laughter, chest heaving as he tries to compose himself. “Guys, I’ve matured a little in the past few years, would you give me some credit?”

It shifts something in your chest, hearing him say it. You forget sometimes that Steve and Robin had also been together without Eddie for a while. When he’d finally graduated, Eddie skipped town without a word to any of his friends. You’d even gotten an influx of calls and texts, friends of Eddie’s you’d only met in passing asking you if he was out in New York with you, having no idea you already hadn’t spoken in two years. 

“Okay,” You resign, remembering your brother’s plea from last night for you to be nicer to him. “Then a gathering we shall have.”

—

The apartment quickly becomes a playground, a mass of what you can’t exactly call children flooding through the front door, immediately taking up any available surface. The boys: Lucas, Will, Mike, and Dustin, are loud and excited, spreading out their game pieces on the kitchen table with intention. The girls, El and Max, make their way to the pantry for snacks and soda, opening every cabinet until they find what they’re looking for. You brace the tornado, still as possible until everyone is settled. 

“So,” Max sits on the empty cushion beside you, crossing her legs to rest a bowl of popcorn in her lap. “Long time, no see!” You’d always been closest to Max, even closer than you’d gotten to Dustin just by being friends with Steve and, at the time, Eddie. Max, though, seemed drawn to you specifically. Your senior year, when she was in seventh grade, she’d started wearing her hair like yours, asking you where you bought your clothes, what kind of music you liked. It was cute, really. You’d always wanted a little sister, and Max was probably the coolest thing you could have imagined.

“Hey, Maxy.” You nudge her with your shoulder. “Look at you, all grown up.” She’s flourished since the last time you saw her, which would have to have been right before you’d left for New York. “Sorry I didn’t come visit more.” 

She shrugs. “No biggie, I get it. Although, it is weird to see you two in the same room again.” You know she’s referring to Eddie, but she sends a less than subtle glance in his direction, and you follow it to find him conducting yet another Hellfire pre-campaign meeting. You indulge in watching the show for a minute, the way Eddie leans forward in his chair at the head of the table, face expressive as he alludes to the battles he’s written for his little goblins and you should probably be paying attention to what he’s saying. You hear Max giggling beside you. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Well, despite all this time, you haven’t changed at all.”

“What are you talking about?” You raise an eyebrow at her.

“You still look at Eddie like a lovesick dog.” She rolls her eyes, and you dart yours to the floor. “Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I kind of always knew you two wouldn’t be apart forever.” 

“Okay, missy, you’re gettin’ a little too big for your britches. Eddie and I are barely friends. Acquaintances by circumstance.” Even to yourself, you sound unconvincing. 

“Mhm, sure.” She teases as you turn back to watch the theatrics of the Dungeon Master, despite yourself. 

“Take a pic, Bee, it’ll last longer!” You feel your cheeks burning as Dustin cackles, followed by the groans of the gaggle of boys surrounding him. You stare straight ahead, doing your best to avoid the way Eddie’s eyes are penetrating the side of your face. 

“Dustin, shut the hell up. Upsetting Bee is almost worse than upsetting Eddie.” Mike elbows his friend in the ribs.

“It’s true, dude, you’re playing with fire.” Lucas adds, tone heeding a warning. You hear a thump under the table, followed quickly by Dustin’s cry of “Ow, you bitch!” Followed by a 20 sided die flying at Eddie’s head. Luckily, his fluffy curls soften the blow, Eddie barely even flinching. 

“Oh, you’re in for it now, Henderson.” Eddie practically growls at the boy, eyes darkening with the mischief the rest of them have grown familiar with.

–

“Well, well, well.” Eddie leans back in his chair, folding his hands across his chest with an aura of smugness. “Looks like you’re all out of options.” Your character is mostly unscathed, but you can’t say the same for your campaign party. All of the kids’ characters are on their last legs, Dustin’s even literally, having lost his left lower limb to a corrupted mage about twenty minutes into the game. “Any last words?”

You can tell Dustin regrets his joke from earlier, face trembling with anxiety so palpable you’d think he’d seen this type of horror in real life. “I choose to surrender.” The party only mumble in agreement 

“Roll to see if your surrender is accepted.” Eddie leans in, the grin on his face widening.

Dustin rolls a three. “Shit.”

Eddie throws his head back, a devilish cackle releasing into the air of the apartment. “Oh you poor, poor thing. Looks like your begs for mercy go unheard.” Eddie rolls the die himself, landing on eight. “Hm, seems like you’re getting off a little easy. You may leave unscathed.” Dustin squints his eyes at the older man, waiting for the catch. “All you must do is leave your strongest soldier as collateral.” He leans his elbow on the table, and Dustin follows his gaze to where you sit across from him, too distracted by the look on Eddie’s face to pay attention to what he’s saying. What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Bee?” Will’s voice snaps you back to reality. “What do you think?”

“What? Oh,” You look from Eddie, with that stupid smirk on his face, back to your teammates. “You want to sacrifice me?”

“Well, we don’t want to. Clearly you’re the reason we’re still alive here.” Dustin grumbles, fiddling with a handful of dice. “The second we give her to you, Ed, you’re gonna destroy us!”

Eddie only shrugs, giving none of his diabolical plan away to his opponents. “Only one way to find out.”

Dustin looks at you, eyebrow raised. “What do you think, Bee?”

You try to focus on the game. If you surrender, you become what Eddie likes to describe as a henchman. Your moves from here on in are only to benefit him. You’d be turning on your team, but they’d be free to walk away. If you don’t surrender, who knows what the sick and twisted Dungeon Master has up his sleeve for them?

“I guess… I will bravely sacrifice myself for your freedom.” You decide, gracefully gesturing to the younger boys. “I would be honored to die for the good of the campaign.” 

The boys look at each other, ultimately deciding to accept your sacrifice. Eddie, though, throws his head back with his in character evil laughter, swiping your game piece from the board. “And so it shall be! The mage has been sacrificed, and captured by the darkness to distract from the escape of the rest of the party.” He looks from the boys back to you, the smile on his face a little softer. “An honorable risk, indeed.”

–

As promised, the younglings are kicked out promptly at ten, and Eddie is nice enough to bring them all home.

“Bye, guys!” Steve gives a wave before closing and locking the door. “I am fucking exhausted.”

“Yeah, it’s really tiring work sitting on your ass eating pizza.” You snort, clearing the paper plates from the table.

“Hey, you’re one to talk. You got to play a game all night while Eddie made googly eyes at you.” 

His comment stops you in your tracks. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, please, like you have no idea!” He looks at you, face contorting from amused to bewildered. “Oh, you really have no idea.”

Robin snorts behind him. “Neither of them have a clue, Stevie.”

“Can someone please explain to me what the hell you’re talking about?” You’re exhausted, and you can’t keep up with your friends’ cryptic bullshit. 

“C’mere.” Robin walks around to sit on the couch, patting the cushion next to her.

“Rob, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Relax, Steve. Bee’s gone through enough, the least we can do is tell her what we know.” You plop down beside your friend, and Steve joins you on the other side. “Bee, what do you know about Eddie coming back to Hawkins?”

You squint at Robin. “As much as you do, I thought! He came back when Chris got released. I still don’t even know where he went after he graduated. Before then, it had been years since we’d spent any time together.” 

Robin nods thoughtfully, like she’s considering your words. “Well, think about it. Why would he choose now to come back? Why would he put the effort in to hang out with us, with you?”

You shake your head, growing more frustrated by the second. “You know I don’t have the answers to any of that. All I know is that Chris told Eddie to rat on him, to save his own ass from being tormented by Hawkins PD. And I only learned that, like, yesterday.” 

Steve chimes in. “Well, at least he finally told you some of the truth.” 

“What?” You turn to face him, your voice straining. “What more is there?”

“Bee,” Robin rests a hand on your shoulder. “He broke up with Macy, he’s hanging out with us every damn day. Don’t pretend you haven’t figured out Eddie’s obsessed with you.”

This shit again. You groan, throwing your head back into the couch cushions. “This is bullshit. You’re making shit up.”

“Okay, if that’s your theory, why the hell would we do that?” Steve seems offended by the accusation.

“How should I know? You guys love to meddle, why would I be exempt from your torment?” 

“It’s hopeless, Rob. We’re gonna have to show her.” 

She shrugs. “Guess so.” She plucks her phone from the coffee table and begins scrolling. “Ah! Here it is.” She turns her phone to face you. Displayed is a picture from the Chappell show, the four of you posing in front of the stage with big, excited smiles on your faces. Well, you, Steve, and Robin are smiling. Eddie isn’t even looking at the camera, but at you. His arm is wrapped tightly around your shoulder, and he’s smiling, eyes focused on the side of your face. Robin hadn’t posted this picture, and you can now understand why. The best way to describe the look on Eddie’s face is lovesick. You feel a lurch in your throat, still examining the photo, the way you hadn’t even noticed him. 

“What am I supposed to take from this?” You try to play it off, despite the impossibility of denying what you’re looking at. “This doesn’t change anything.”

“Please, Bee. Don’t tell me you can’t feel it. You know there’s something there.” Robin is practically pleading with you. “I know he has a lot of making it up to you to do, but, what if you gave him the chance? I’m not saying you have to fall in love with him or anything,”

“Though, that would be kind of awesome!” Steve interjects.

“But, I dunno, maybe you guys could be friends again. Maybe things could start healing themselves.”

“Would it get you two off my back?” You half joke, feeling your palms sweating under the pressure. They nod eagerly. “Okay, fine. I’ll try my best to give him a chance. That doesn’t mean I believe a word of what you’re telling me, though.”

Robin and Steve high five over your head. “We’ll take it!” Robin exclaims, jumping from her seat. “And, if he ends up being a total douche bag, you have all the right to say you told us so.” She holds out her pinky to you, and you grab it with your own, sealing the deal.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?

The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[miserye]

i had ym meeting w my boss todya and i guess i followe d the firections weridly

[cowardstiel]

i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months

[toytulini]

Thank you for your tags on the baeddalism post. As someone who is aroace (formerly biace) and a nb transmasc I've literally watched every identity I have be dragged into discourse time and time again and it's always the exact same rhetoric to a nauseating degree. People are so terminally online that they constantly invent new nonexistent stereotypes of other queer identities to get mad at or just pick a queer identity to be the monster of the week, and it's excruciating to see it repeat the same way everytime.

I wanted to try to respond to this more eloquently after i had some caffeine, but if we wait for eloquence itll go unanswered for years. but lmao yea of course. Im also aroace and enby. I was here since like 2014, I suffered through reading all these same stupid arguments about a-specs and my tolerance for it is so fried. The queer infighting and gatekeeping bullshit is so rotting. I hope we learn one of these days. My disillusion that this keeps fucking happening is at least tempered by the fact that all the blogs who I followed for good takes on inclusionism and queer solidarity during the acecourse are also not tolerating this shit, and they are recognizing it as the same old bullshit its been the whole time.