#we didnt survive

[vind3miat0r]

new t-shirts! come get your new t-shirts!

[cracklewink]

Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5

The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )

[acesartemis]

when Buck and Tommy get married I want Eddie to start his speech with something like "we are all gathered here today thanks to a poor, innocent sprained ankle that still pains me to this very day..." and he wipes a fake tear. Tommy is full on belly laughing while a red-faced Buck throws his napkin at him

[traggalicious]

✊😌

[capinejghafa]

Between the idea of mass deportation, abortion states' rights being threatened, ethnic cleansing, lgbt+ rights under fire... it's not about one issue, to be fair. It's about many... not all of us survived his first term as president, and I need people to understand that. We made it through simply because he didn't know the rules. Now he does, and they wrote a whole dissertation about what they were planning to do.

[cator99]

out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?

used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[basslinegrave]

didnt know what to draw so i put too much effort into something from my sam and max escape room au story that was eating my brain

[azaracyy]

to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

oh you know what i also thought was fun? 15 being fucking distraught "it ripped me in half. it literally tore my soul in half". not to mention how he ran to hide in a hole in the ground

like that bogeyman made him so scared he, so he says, uncharacteristically ran instead of trying to reason, and then maestro shows up and hes like HIDE HIDE HIDE HIDE HIDE HIDE HIDE. hide in the closet from the monster

Also, infrasound is what the bogeyman did to make people scared. sound

[greensupremetangerine]

PSA that harassing, bullying, and kicking a person out of a fandom is toxic behavior. A difference in opinions does not warrant anonymous hate, and claiming it wasnt that bad and there's no proof because they didn't post the hate doesn't retract the fact that something happened to make them deactivate their account.

Fandoms are supposed to be places of community, enjoyment, and celebration of a mutually liked piece of media. There isn't room for hate, because the concept of a fandom does not naturally account for it.

If someone says something you dont like, it does not give you the right or responsibility to "put them in their place" or "teach them what's right" or whatever. A person is allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions. You can retort, discuss, disagree, hell you can even block them, but for the love of god don't single them out and make them a villain. It doesn't automatically make you the right side if they stop talking.

Also, the anonymous button isn't for keeping the blame off yourself. It's not for sending a dozen death threats while still looking pretty and proper on your blog. The person recieving anons has no way to disengage from the conversation. They cannot block, the best they can do is disable anons and stop the kind, shy people from asking silly questions or hope you give up and stop. The last resort is completely deleting your account, and again, its not a sign of your victory, it's a sign of the fandom' loss, and it is a sign that you are the vicious aggressor.

If youre struggling to stop doing these things, by no means am I a saint or a therapist, but removing yourself from the situation and letting yourself breathe, even for a moment, will probably help a lot with your relationships and mental health. I'm a believer that people can change and it is in human nature to do so, even if it's hard. It's a conscious decision to be a good person (I'm not calling you evil) and being a kind person is fulfilling in amazing ways.

tl;dr don't harass people :( it doesn't give you the high ground and it makes the fandom a worse place.

[izopoz]

I think the best decision this show made was writing all the protagonists to be 25% more unhinged. the worst decision hands down was hitting every antagonist with the sassy anime boy beam

[kaurwreck]

Literary criticism of Ryuunosuke Akutagawa wants so badly for him to have been spiritually fragile. He was wrought with doubt and skepticism, and he felt crushed beneath the pressures stacked on his thin frame by others' demands of him. He was certain there was prophecy written in his mother's insanity and her ghost was a fixture haunting the edges of his vision.

But, he was also overprescribed barbituates. Like, really, really overprescribed. High doses of barbituates are now known to cause irritability, paranoia, depression, and, sometimes, suicidal ideation. His spirit was fine; it was his pharmacologist who should have been scrutinized.

This is especially agitating to me when Ryuunosuke Akutagawa's malaise is contrasted against Nakajima's mettle. Nakajima was administered ephedrine for his chronic, debilitating asthma. Ephedrine weakened his heart, but has a dopamine transporter inhibitory effect similar to amphetamine and other stimulants. (Then, stimulants were gaining popularity as antidepressants and were supplied by the US, British, Japanese, and German militaries to servicemen during World War II.) In other words, there were confounding variables which might have attributed to one's sensitive nerves and the other's spirited focus.

Both men were brilliant writers who stylized their pediatric onset anxiety; profound insight; excessive cleverness; stubborn resistance to literary trends; and existential terror. Both men suffered from chronic mental and physical illnesses and overrelied on treatments widely prescribed but poorly suited for their conditions. Both men were killed in no small part by excessive administration of medication: the former by depressants meant to settle his disordered mind enough to sleep, and the latter by the stimulant meant to settle his disordered body enough to write. But, way too much ink has been spilled on insisting fragile nerves and spiritual weakness killed Akutagawa, while the cruelty of fate struck down Nakajima.

That is the problem with treating authors as if they're literary devices or signs of the times, rather than people who lived to save themselves.

[ilynpilled]

hi guys i was in an accident and had to be in the hospital for a while but im home now

[muirneach]

IM GOING TO KILL EVERYONE HERE AND THEN MYSELF

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)