#we can never be together this has to become my future
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nsfw + fluff! in which he’s whipped ♡︎
sweetheart!reiner who despite his demanding role as a firefighter, always finds time to prepare heart-shaped pancakes for you on his days off. rising early, he meticulously mixes the batter and pours it into the pan with the same precision he applies to his work. the kitchen becomes infused with a delightful aroma as he flips each pancake, a gentle smile on his face, fully aware of the significance these small acts of affection hold for you. even amidst his numerous responsibilities, he consistently seizes the opportunity to express his love through these simple yet profoundly meaningful gestures.
sweetheart!reiner who is incredibly clingy, always craving the warmth of your skin. whether it’s his hand resting on your thigh or his head nestled against your shoulder while he casually browses recipes to cook for you, he just has to be in contact with his beautiful girl. if you try to nudge his sleeping form away, he’ll complain, insisting he’s not asleep as he wraps his strong, tattooed arms around you, pulling you back into his sturdy embrace. his touch is a constant source of comfort, a tangible expression of his love. even in the dead of night, if you attempt to move away, he instinctively tightens his hold, softly murmuring sleepily that he needs you close.
sweetheart!reiner who always has daily baby fever, it’s truly a sight to see. he can't help but rub your tummy, whispering about how eager he is to watch it swell and grow with the life you two will create together. shopping with him is a challenge, to say the least. he constantly picks up baby clothes, holding them up with a sparkle in his eyes as he imagines your future child wearing them. you can almost predict his words before he speaks: “we could start tonight.” he’ll lift the tiniest onesies, his fingers gliding over the soft fabric as he dreams of the little one who will eventually wear them.
sweetheart!reiner who doesn’t get invited out by the boys anymore to drink. it’s always the same story: a few drinks in, and reiner’s eyes glaze over with that familiar lovesick look. he’ll start with how amazing you are, describing every little thing he adores about you with a goofy grin plastered on his face. eren, connie and jean roll their eyes, knowing exactly where the conversation is heading. “my wife is sooo pretty, and she has the best pus—“ just as he’s about to launch into another explicit detail, eren’s quick to intervene, clamping a hand over reiner’s mouth to save everyone from another round of tmi.
sweetheart!reiner who loves asking about your day, always so attentive. hands palming your feet as you two sit on opposite ends of the freestanding bathtub, he’ll watch intently as you talk, his eyes never leaving your face. the warm water surrounds you both, creating a cocoon of intimacy. occasionally, he’ll press a kiss against your foot, his lips soft and tender against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. his fingers work gently, massaging away the stress of the day as he listens, genuinely interested in every detail you share. the candlelight flickers, casting a warm glow on his face, highlighting the love and adoration in his eyes.
sweetheart!reiner, who’s anything but a sweetheart as you ride his dick in the bath.
giant muscles wrap around your frame, keeping you safe as his hands wander, stroking over your sides, your hips, the tops of your thighs. his dick is big, so big it takes your breath away and leaves you reeling. you know that if it wasn't for the gentle grip of your husband, you'd be bouncing. his cock is a solid pillar that's rubbing your velvety insides, pressing against all the good spots as you're forced to take him. it's a tight squeeze. a snug fit. a perfect, sinful pleasure.
his hips lift, pushing up and in, the water making you both weightless. the sensation is almost too much and you cling to his chest, moaning out your pleasure as the pace becomes brutal. the slap of skin against skin is barely audible over the rush of water in the tub, but the feel of it is there. it's a slight sting, a delicious ache that you can't get enough of.
"you're doing so well, honey," he tells you, voice a soft purr. "takin’ me so well."
you can only moan, eyes shut as you're overcome with sensation. the stretch, the feel of his dick inside you, his hands holding you. the press of his mouth against yours as he steals your breath. he's all you can see, all you can feel, all you can think about. he’s so pretty, thick eyebrows furrowed, blonde hair clinging to his forehead. you can see every freckle and scar on his body, from the one just under his eye, to the one just below his clavicle. you're mesmerized by him.
he's not even panting, not like you are, and that makes it all the more thrilling. his voice is calm and steady as he says, "squeezing me so tight, you close already baby?” you don’t need to answer, your body giving him the answer. you're shaking, gasping, your nails biting into his skin. he just keeps smiling at you, that sweet, lazy smile of his that you love so much.
"then let's make you feel good, hm?"
and then his arms are gone from around you and his hips are moving faster, harder, driving himself deep. you're helpless to him, a rag doll as he uses your body to find his pleasure. there's no mercy as his fingers dig into your hips, holding you still as his hips snap up and down. it's a blur of sensation. it's almost painful how hard he's taking you, but there's no way you're telling him to stop. no way.
the sounds coming from you are obscene, whorish, but there's nothing you can do. you can't help but scream his name, begging him to go harder, faster. to never stop. he does as he's told. his mouth is on yours, stealing the last of your breath away. "such a good girl," he purrs against your lips. "such a good girl for me. come on, now, give me what i want."
"r-rei, oh my god!" you're helpless. powerless. at his mercy as your body gives him exactly what he's asking for. "there you go, baby. just like that," he says as he continues to pound into you. he's not done. you can't come again. you're going to die. "one more time."
"i-i can't-"
"sure you can. don't make me beg."
"i-i can't, fuck-"
his voice drops low, dangerous. "then i'll keep fucking you until you can. you'll be my cocksleeve if that's what i have to do." oh god, oh fuck, yes, please. he does. he keeps fucking you until you're seeing stars. he fucks you until you can't breathe, until your whole body is shaking and jerking with the force of his thrusts.
when he's finally done, when the aftershocks have stopped and the mess has been cleaned, the two of you end up in the bed. reiner’s casually laid between your thighs, reading a novel, humming as you wrap golden strands around your fingers. the silence is comforting, the sound of him turning pages nice. it's peaceful.
you sigh, closing your eyes. you don't even notice when he stops reading. "hey," he murmurs, voice low and rumbling. "i love you." and that's how you end up making love on the floor.
sweetheart!reiner who cried into your chest when you presented the positive pregnancy test weeks later.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ dedicated to @wintrrxxo
#valᥫ᭡.#aot x black reader#aot x reader#aot x black y/n#aot x poc!reader#aot x y/n#reiner x black reader#reiner braun#reiner x reader#reiner x you#aot reiner#reiner x y/n#reiner smut#reiner snk#anime x black!reader#anime x y/n#aot smut#anime x reader#anime smut
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okay, how do we feel on squirting on izuku? hear me out now—
UA dorms, 3rd year, everyone is 18+!!!!!
you and izuku are having a midnight fuck sesh cause it’s quite literally the ONLY time y’all get to be sexually intimate so things are REALLY hot & heavy. I’m talkin’ like having to hold in moans to not wake your neighbors up, the bed is creaking, you had to put a pillow in between the headboard because it was making too much noise, sweating everywhere and izuku has to keep making out with you so y’all can get your moans out quietly!! 🫣
and all of a sudden after izuku moves his hips slightly, you just start squirting EVERYWHERE, like your soaking his bed and you have to moan into a pillow cause it felt so good 😵💫
“Did…Did i make you…?”
“..yes…yes you..did..haa..”
“Can i..keep going?I-I haven’t came yet..”
“Yes baby, please keep fucking me…!”
and then just proceeds to overstimulate you while your whining and moaning into his mouth and scratching on his back.
do what you will with this information 🥸
-🩸
I kinda free balled even though you literally told me what you wanted lol, I hope this is to your liking my loveᡣ𐭩
It was after midnight, you were at least sure all of your dorm neighbors were lying down if not asleep by the time you went over to izukus dorm.
You and your boyfriend haven't been able to explore each other's body in so long given you're in your last year of highschool which means not only will things become more advanced but you have even less time to get all of the things done. With all the stress of colleges and your futures taking over your brains you two only had time to text each other 'good morning' 'goodnight' and 'I love you'
It hurt you but none of that mattered anymore, you were finally in your boyfriend's arms after so long. This was the only time you two had together let alone to be intimate with one another you had to take advantage of it.
Izuku had your face shoved into the pillows and your back arched painfully you can hear him groaning above you, his eyes squeezed shut as he slammed his cock inside of you repeatedly.
His thick cock forcing its way into your gushing pussy. The way you squeezed around him had his head rolling back he couldn't take it. He'd already cum inside of you about 2 times given how long it's been since he'd felt your tight wet walls, the thought of them alone had him busting a nut.
You heard his gutteral moans being hushed by his face being buried in your shoulders he began biting them harshly causing you to scream into the pillows, luckily for you they were quite scream proof izuku made sure of that when he bought them.
“ ....ohh...~ you sweet thing... ngh- need it s’bad huh? hmmn. c'mon cum in my cock baby..”
The way he whispered in your ear, so dirty yet so sweet. He was never rough with you but he couldn't help himself fucking you as if you're some cheap fleshlight he needed all that he could take. His hands coming down to harshly grip the flesh of your ass before slapping it making your back arch and your ass grind back onto his cock.
He loved the feeling of you fucking him back, throwing your ass back onto his cock while he tried shoving it deeper inside. The bed creaking with each rough motion of you thrusting back against him, izuku groans at the sticky sounds of the two of you thinking he should've put a pillow behind his headboard someone was definitely going to complain!
“ ngh..! give it t’me, give it t’me zuku— need it s’bad- ugh...”
Your words were coming out muffled and sloppy you were losing your mind with how sensitive you were, you'd come so many times its as if it was happening all on its own. You couldn't control it anymore letting him split you in half on his cock while you lost your mind.
“ let me.....huff....let me flip you over baby.. wanna look at’cha when I fuck you.”
You hum and with that he pulled out causing you to whine, he instantly flipped you over into your back to get a good look at your soiled face. Tears streaming down and spit down your jaw, your eyes were glossy and you could hardly see all you wanted was to hold your strong boyfriend.
You heard him shakily sigh above you, lining his sticky and cum covered cock back up with your dripping cunt, cum leaking out of it and creating a ring around his cock as he quickly shoved it in causing you to jolt upward into him, he instantly leaned down and held you locking lips with you to sustain your whine and moans you were shaking in his arms and your spit was slowly leaking down both your chins.
Izuku sat inside of you for a moment letting you convulse around his cock, this was more for him than it was for you. The feeling of your nasty icky cunt spasming around his twitching veiny cock had his mind melting just as much as yours. He was trying his hardest not to fall apart inside of you but God was it hard with you squeezing him tighter than anything he's ever had.
Izuku gulped down hardly and slowly jerked his hips up into you there was something inside of you, a coil that just snapped your head was thrown back and you couldn't help but to moan aloud izuku was too late to catch it pitchy moans echoing through his room you had started squirting all over his cock your eyes were rolling and your mind was completely blank.
Izuku was in utter awe with you, gasping lightly as his cock only began plugging you deeper with how thick it was, your juices were spraying all over his abdomen and his bed you would be embarrassed if you were coherent and understood what was going on around you. Izuku rubbed your thigh and cooed sweet words to you telling you how proud of you he was.
“ awh honey.... m’ so proud of you baby, did so good f’me.”
“ do...do you want me to keep going...? can I? I wanna cum again...”
You nod your head at his words hardly even understanding any of them. With that he took all that he had and began thrusting into you once more, not as rough as he once was but just enough to get him there and to have you squealing into his chest tears wetting him as your body rocks with his arms wrapping around his back and scratching his back harshly.
His back arched into you a wince leaving him as he sped up, hips stuttering into yours. The nasty slaps of skin filling the air along with your hiccups and moans and his low groans. The bed creaking faster with his movements.
“ sh...shit baby..! m’gna cum inside of you... fuck-!”
Giving it all he could with a couple sloppy messy thrusts, he came inside of you hard and deep. His moans turned into high pitched whines his cock was twitching so much and you were squeezing him so tightly after he'd already cum he couldn't help squeezing your hips tightly making you wince and squirm.
You felt his shaky breath fan over your neck as your face was buried in his chest drool getting all over him as he just collapsed on top of you not even bothering to pull out. His poor cock was too thick for you to push out so you just sat there plugged and fucked full of cum.
The next day you were both told by your teacher that izuku had many complaints from his neighbors due to loud squeaking that sounded as if someone was being murdered. You both had detention for the rest of the year and were BANNED from going near each other's dorm and would be kicked out of U.A if caught in the other's room.
Was it truly worth it....
#cvnts-post#mha#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#izuku x reader#deku x reader#izuku is so girlie pop#cvnts-reqs#izuku midoriya#izuku#izuku smut#izuku x reader smut#midoriya#midoriya smut#midoriya izuku#midoriya izuku smut#midoriya izuku x reader#midoriya izuku x reader smut#midoriya x reader#midoriya x reader smut#deku#deku smut#deku x reader smut#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku midoriya smut#izuku midoriya x reader smut#mha x reader smut#my hero academia#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia x reader smut
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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Semifinals Poll 1
Please be civil in the notes. We will block people if we feel it is necessary. A character being canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. This is not a competition of who is better representation.
Check out the other poll in the semifinals here.
Yang Xiao Long-RWBY
Qualifications:
She is canonically wlw (has been for years but specifically kissed and got together with her now girlfriend in the latest season) and uses a prosthetic arm and has been shown to struggle with PTSD due to the traumatic nature of losing it during the show.
Canonically had her right arm chopped off, uses a prosthetic. Has PTSD. Is canonically in a WLW relationship.
She has a canon girlfriend and canonically has a prosthetic arm and PTSD
She's canonically sapphic (part of a recently canonised wlw slowburn relationship) and is an amputee (due to events from the 3rd season finale) who wears a robotic prosthetic. She also suffers from PTSD which is explored in the show
Propaganda:
I will keep on submitting Yang to relevant brackets until I die. RWBY has plenty of strengths and weaknesses with writing, especially Yang's recovery arc, but instead of forcing her to push past her trauma and enter the battlefield immediately, we see her struggle with it, take time to process, and not be pushed into repression and when she chooses to wear her prosthetic, chooses to train to ready herself, and chooses to seek out her family and save lives, she isn't perfectly healed, as no one is. The show depicts her having flashbacks due to sudden loud noise, shaking hand the first few times she has to fight for her safety instead of training with her dad, and snapping at friends when they bring up Blake, the person she lost her arm trying to save (who, near immediately after ran away due to feeling she was endangering those she loved, furthering Yang's already present abandonment issues.) It isn't done perfectly but the intentions and general message sent are extremely positive and honest. She struggles less as the show progresses, and there are opportunities to consider herself less for being disabled or "become whole again" but she explicitly refutes these ideas and says that's she's better because of her failures and losses, and isn't any less whole. Her becoming disabled is also extremely tied to her being LGBT, because, as previously mentioned, she lost her arm protecting her then friend and partner, now girlfriend, directly after the villain who cut her arm off told her love interest that he would "destroy everything [she] love[s]. (Camera pans to Yang, he looks at her.) Starting with her." LIKE. He attacked her BECAUSE Blake cared for her so much and Yang ran to her defense blindly BECAUSE she loved Blake so much. When they reunite, they struggle with communication because Yang feels Blake is seeing her as weak, and through several things, mostly a climatic battle against the man who severed Yang's arm, they affirm each other as equals. I can go on but this is already too long. YANG SWEEP!!!!!
Yang lost her arm while protecting her best friend and future girlfriend from said girlfriend's abusive ex. Had a whole arc about learning to live with that loss and dealing with PTSD. Is totally devoted to and in love with Blake Belladonna and is just the sweetest but most badass character in the show.
She's one of the main characters, and just finished a 10 year slow burn romance. Plus, she has both physical and mental disabilities, but is never treated as lesser or incomplete.
Yang Xiao Long was one of the first examples of a sapphic character I ever saw in animated media with her character journey in the show being an iconic part of my teenage years and current young adulthood. The loss of her arm after a traumatic event in the show's 3rd volume was one of the big shockers of the show that nobody saw coming. Since then the show has done an amazing job in exploring both the mental and physical effects of her losing a limb, gaining a prosthetic arm and the recovery journey. Her character also has a major arc regarding handling her PTSD from both this and her past most notably in the 5th and 6th volume. Her character also has a slow-burn romance with her teammate and fellow main character Blake Belladonna which is one of my fave romances ever (it has everything: canon soulmates, friends to lovers, sunshine x grump,battle couple etc..) that has recently became CANON BABIEE!!! There are MULTIPLE characters in RWBY with various disabilities that are handled well in the narrative but i would say Yangs definitely the top FAVE!
Eda Clawthorne-The Owl House
Qualifications:
She has a magical chronic disorder which has flare-ups, is mitigated by taking medication (potions), and has similar side effects to many real disorders such as fatigue, greying hair, and physical impairment (drains magic, a natural ability of *most witches). Unlike in other stories however, her condition is NOT ever completely cured. It does evolve and become more manageable over the course of the story, but she still experiences symptoms from it. Eda also loses one of her arms later in the story. She does get a replacement hook, but it is never shown whether she has a functional prosthetic or not. Most likely, she only has one fully functioning arm after this. As for being queer, she is in a relationship with a nonbinary person and is all but confirmed bisexual (has a secret box with the bi flag on it seriously why else would she have this). Also the owl house has a Lot of queer characters in it and I mean. just look at her. I would be surprised if she wasn't queer somehow.
Bisexual, and has a curse that affects her day to day life
Bi & lost arm and has a chronic illness metaphorically
Propaganda:
Has canonically dated both men and a non-binary person. Her curse affects her ability to use magic (and at one point outright stops it), which is very important in witch life. Said curse also causes her body parts to fall off sometimes. Many have said her curse is like a metaphor for depression but really it's more like a magic version of a physical disability (although I wouldn't be surprised if she actually also had depression).
Uuuuh she’s great and stuff idk I can’t propaganda well sorry
#polls#poll#disability#disabled characters#lgbtq#lgbtq characters#id in alt text#lgbtq dcs semifinals#yang xiao long#rwby#eda clawthorne#eda the owl lady#the owl house#toh
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With All My Love (joel miller x f!reader, no outbreak) Chpt 4
Chapter 4: Casualties
Word count : 14.1k
Chapter Summary: You and Joel have your first Skype call together and continue to do so in the following weeks. You both get closer and fall deeper for each other, hinting towards a definite future together. A few weeks later after an incident that happened between you and Terrence's replacement, you open up to Joel about your past abuse and you two become closer by how he talks you through it but also by acts he demonstrates to show you what you mean to him. In the following weeks, just when you think things have calmed down, you and Maria are told you are going on a special assignment to rescue a higher-ranking officer, going to a location you aren’t sure if you will make it out - as you’ll be heading into no man's land.
Chapter warnings: fluff, flirting, mutual pining, language, mentions of combat and war, blood, violence, hand-to-hand combat, mentions of guns and a knife, hate speech (not by either of our babies), anxiety, panic attacks, use of Y/N, mentions of abuse, descriptions of injuries, angst.
A/N: oh my, this one is a big one but it was necessary for chapters to come! i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it! please like, comment, and repost if you want to see more! thank you for all the support you've given me with the first 3 chapters, i've loved to see and hear everyone's thoughts and love! i love these two and am so happy their story is coming together - ugh love it! xx
Dividers by: @saradika-graphics
Main Masterlist
As soon as Joel hit ‘Accept’ you came onto the screen, earbuds in your ears, smiling brightly. You had an oversized shirt on and your hair down, flowing to one side. “Hey there handsome!” you said smiling and talking in a soft voice, like you might have been trying to stay quiet.
“Wow…” he said out loud without realizing.
You softly giggled and blushed, “Joel, can you hear me?” you asked as his response was a little unexpected but had butterflies erupting throughout your stomach.
“Y-Yeah, I can hear you darlin’...” he smiled and chuckled, shyly dragging his fingers through his hair.
“Darlin’...? I’ve been wondering what that southern drawl sounds like, and I must say, I will most definitely never tire of it.” you smiled brightly.
He smiled brightly, “I’m sorry if I woke you up, I uh… I did the math and thought you wouldn’t maybe see my message for a few more hours.”
You shook your head and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “You’re sweet, you didn’t wake me. I woke up cuz it’s so damn hot here, couldn’t sleep.” looked up hearing someone stir in the room then looked back down at the screen, ��Sorry, I’m tryna keep quiet, everyone else is asleep but I wanted to see you as soon as I could after finally seeing you were able to message!” you bit your bottom lip, “Sorry it took so long, it’s been a busy few weeks here.” you looked at him, he was in awe and captivated by how beautiful you looked.
“So you’ve said darlin’. I’m just glad to know you’re alright.” he licked his lip and smiled softly, “You had me worried for a while, can’t have that pendant of yours failin’ me…”
You blushed “No we can’t have that, can we?”
Joel smiled and shook his head, the silence and tension between the two of you palpable.
You cleared your throat softly, blushing, “Did you and Sarah have a good 4th of July weekend?”
He nodded, “Yeah, we did. She had a soccer tournament on Friday out of town so we took a little getaway with my brother, Tommy, he has a boat, and so we spent all of yesterday on Canyon Lake just outside of Austin… we took lots of pictures for you.” he winked.
You would never get tired of hearing his voice. You nodded along as he talked, “That sounds like a lot of fun. Did you guys get to barbeque on the lake or eat any good food?”
“Yeah, we did some burgers and hotdogs on a portable grill we had, wasn’t so bad.” He smiled, “What about you? Didn’t you guys have somethin’ like Spam and potatoes or somethin’ like that?” he hadn’t realized he may have let part of Tommy and Maria’s conversation slip, he was just so focused on you, his brain shut off somewhat.
You chuckled and tilted your head confused, “Yeah… we did… how did you know that? You spyin’ on me somehow Joel Miller?”
Joel’s face fell a little, realizing he slipped, “I uh…”
You looked at him and chuckled, “You ok handsome? Cat got your tongue?”
He took a deep breath, he wasn’t going to start this off with dishonesty, so he anxiously scratched his scruff and then looked down a his lap, “Uh… so funny story…” he lightly let out a chuckle nervously.
You had learned with your ex and parents to pay attention to body language and tone, so you sat up a bit straighter, anxious, a weight instantly dropping in your stomach, ‘Shit, he just got nervous’ you thought. “Joel, what’s going on?” you said softly.
He noticed your immediate reaction, looked back up at you, and then softly smiled, “Oh no, sweetheart, nothin’ is wrong…” he bit his lip and thought of how to say what he was about to say, “You umm… you have a nickname for Maria’s pen pal…” he paused, “Reginald right?”
You nodded slowly and then started to put the dots together, Maria had already suggested that they were related, you just didn’t think it could happen. Then you realized how the hell he knew that name then you turned bright red, “You… oh my god.” you laughed and covered your face with your hands, embarrassed. “Oh my god, you saw me make a fool of myself on Maria’s Skype call yesterday!”
Joel laughed and bit his lip at your reaction, finding your embarrassment and shyness so fucking cute. “I um, I didn’t see you, but I was in the room when Tommy Skyped her, I heard your sweet voice though, it drove me mad to not be able to see you and say hello…”
You peeked through your hands, blushing madly, “Oh god, I’m so embarrassed… you weren’t supposed to see that side of me already!”
He let out a deep gut laugh, leaning his head back against the headboard, and you started to giggle back, covering your mouth, trying not to wake the others.
“Stop laughing, I’m serious! You’re only supposed to see the lady-like side of me before you see the goof that Z and Maria have brought out in me..” you smiled at him slowing down your giggling, tucking your hair again behind your ear.
He slowed down his laugh and smiled softly at you, eyes bright and cheeks red, thinking, thanking the universe for hearing your laugh so much tonight, “Nah, I like the goof in you, it made me smile like a fuckin’ idiot hearing you. Tommy gave me so much shit after…” he admitted.
You smiled brightly knowing you had that effect on him, “Like an idiot huh? I’ll have to keep that up, I wanna see that type of smile on your handsome face.” you threw at him, he instantly blushed then jumped slightly when he heard Sarah knock on his door.
“Dad? Are you good? I see we have a casualty of pasta on the floor downstairs…” she said through the door.
You listened closely, smiling hearing Sarah’s voice, and chuckling at her joke.
“Yeah, I’m good baby girl! I’m just on a Skype call with Y/N, umm, I left my wallet on the counter, could you order some takeout? Your choice!” he smiled down at you, watching you listen.
Sarah smiled brightly hearing that he was talking to you. “Yeah of course Dad! Tell Y/N hi for me and thank her for my bracelet! And I will bring in your food when it gets here!”
Joel looked down at you, “You hear all that?” he asked.
You nodded, “Can she hear me?”
He shrugged, “Maybe?” he chuckled.
You grinned and then put a finger up to signal to hold on, you set the laptop down on the floor you had been sitting on and then stood up, Joel seeing you only had that oversized shirt on and some very short shorts on under, his breath hitched and felt himself instantly grow hard. His throat went dry, “H-Hold..” he swallowed, “Sarah hold on a sec…!” he shouted at Sarah through the door, voice cracking a little.
She peeked her head in and giggled hearing the voice crack, “Yeah Dad?” he pulled a pillow quickly over his lap, and held up a finger like you, “Wait one sec.”
He saw you pick up the laptop and then quietly tried to walk through the dark room, only to stub your toe on something, “Ow, fuckin’ shitballs.” you winced, hopping on one foot.
Sarah snorted holding in a laugh at your remark. Joel looked down at you and chuckled at your phrase as well, “You ok darlin’?”
You nodded and whispered, “Yeah, yeah just stubbed my toe. Sorry for cussing Sarah…”
You walked out of the room and quietly shut the door and looked around, one soldier saw you a few feet away and wolf whistled your way, “Damn Y/N, didn’t know you had that fat of an ass! Come over and sit on my lap mama!”
Joel visibility got jealous, jaw clenched and zeroing in on the piece of shit talking to you that way.
“Martinez, the only woman that would ever touch you without a ten-foot pole is your mama. Shut the fuck up and keep your eyes off my ass.” you shot back without missing a beat, walking away from him, finding somewhere to sit that was a bit more quiet.
Joel smirked, and whispered under his breath, “That’s my girl..”
You smiled and blushed to hear him say that, looking down at him. You looked around and then sat down against an abandoned house, and then let out a sigh, “Sorry, that took longer than a minute, is Sarah still able to hear me?”
“I can hear you!” Sarah shouted from the doorway.
“Oh! Lovely! Hi Sarah! I’ve heard such good things about you. I’m glad you like your bracelets, I’ll be sending something else for you and your dad in my next parcel.” you smiled at Joel and winked.
He smiled brightly and then looked at Sarah then at you, “Do you guys wanna say hello? You don’t have to shout at each other...” he chuckled.
You smiled and tucked your hair behind your ears, “I’d love to but only if Sarah is comfortab-” Before you could finish your sentence Sarah had jumped on the bed by Joel, hugging his arm and leaning into the screen. “Hey there!” she smiled, “Oh my gosh, your hair is so pretty down! Is that your natural color?”
You nodded and smiled, “Thank you! Yes, it is! I love your curls- I’m envious of them! I’ve always wanted curly hair!” you giggled.
Sarah giggled, “They are a lot to manage but I do love ‘em!” she smiled and looked at Joel who was soaking in the moment, he was practically glowing.
“I heard you had a soccer tournament this weekend, how did it go? What position do you play?” you asked.
“We placed second and I scored two goals, one of them won the game for us! Dad took pictures…” she looked back at Joel, “Can you send them to her?”
Joel nodded and then looked at you, “Yeah I’ll message them to you later.” he smiled.
Sarah smiled and looked back at you, “I play a center forward, do you play soccer?” she asked.
“I played a little as a kid with like my schoolmates but never competitively like you. However, I did just learn some tricks that some of the kids here taught me, I’ll have to show you someday and you can show me what you can do!” you said softly smiling and messing with the hem of your shirt.
“I’d like that. Do you know when your tour is over?” she asked abruptly.
Joel didn’t even think to ask that question. He perked up and looked at you.
“I’ve been told that if things keep going the way they do, I’ll be home in the spring. If they get better, I could be home either right before or after the holidays but it’s been crazy here, so I’m keeping my expectations low, you know?” you said looking at the hem of your shirt, the thought of you not being home til spring made you anxious.
Joel could tell your mood shifted, “Well Sarah and I will hope for sooner, home for the holidays, yeah?”
You looked up and softly nodded and smiled, agreeing.
“I have one last question and then I’ll go order take out…” Sarah said curiously.
“Alright kiddo, shoot.” you looked her way.
“Why Reginald?” she tilted her head.
You let out a laugh, “Oh jeez..” you began to chuckle, “Ok, so when Maria and I sent our letters at first to your dad and your uncle, we knew nothing about them. I teased her because she sprayed hers with her perfume. I said she had no idea who or where her letter was going, it could be an old guy in a nursing home and said his name is probably Reginald or something… as that was before I knew her pal’s name, but the joke stuck and it continues to push her buttons.” you chuckled.
Joel chuckled at your sense of humor and Sarah did as well, “I like that, it’s like you're calling him an old man… I’m going to call him that now too, especially when he’s being annoying… which is all the time.” she emphasized.
You giggled and nodded, “You can tell him that Maria’s lovely, awesome, never annoying at all roommate said you could use it if he gets mad, he can take it up with me.” you winked.
Sarah nodded and smiled, “Will do, thanks for the ammo!” she giggled and then slid off the bed, “I’m going to go order food, I’m starving! It was nice meeting you, have a good rest of your night- well day for you!” she said smiling brightly at the camera before running out of the room shutting the door behind her.
You chuckled at Joel “She’s a fun kid. I can see a lot of you in her…” you smiled at him.
He smiled warmly, “Thanks darlin’, that means a lot.”
You sat in silence together for a moment before you spoke up “Sorry to have crashed your dinner plans, did I hear there was a pasta casualty?”
Joel chuckled lightly and looked down shyly, “I may have heard your message notification ding, and may have dropped everything I had in my hands to run over to my laptop, then after seeing your message, may have ran upstairs to call you, abandoning the mess…”
“Oh I see… so there are only allegations against you, no concrete evidence tying you to the scene of the crime, innocent until proven guilty, am I right?” you teased.
He looked up at you and chuckled, “Exactly.”
You smiled warmly and sighed contently.
“In my defense, and all honesty, I will drop whatever I’m doing to give you my time and attention… you know for the record.” he winked, smiling brightly.
You blushed and looked down shyly, smiling from ear to ear, “Now here I go smiling a fuckin’ idiot.”
He chuckled and then bit his bottom lip, “Look at me when you’re doin’ that darlin’, I wanna see that beautiful smile.”
You blushed harder and looked at him, laughing at how silly you must’ve looked, “God, you can’t keep sayin’ things like that, Joel Miller!”
He loved the way you said his name, but even more, he loved your laugh. He would forever have it programmed into his brain, on repeat, along with the image of your smile tattooed right beside it.
He bit his lip, loving seeing you like this. He thought he was out of practice with his flirting but clearly, he had quite the effect on you. “You keep smilin’ and laughin’ like that, and we are gonna have a different problem with what you're doin’ to my heart darlin’...”
“I could say the same about you cowboy…” you said as you came down from your laugh.
Before Joel could say anything back he heard someone call your name in the background, you looked up, looking around, and he heard them say ‘We have 3 wounded coming in and could use the extra hands if you’re awake, can you help?’
“Uh, hold on one sec Benson!” You looked back down at Joel, clearly torn on what to do.
“Go, it’s ok sweetheart, they need your help. How about we do this weekly, yeah? Keep the letters coming as usual, and just do this in addition at least once a week… more if we are feelin’ freaky” he chuckled and winked.
You nodded and softly smiled, “Yes, let's do that. I’ll message you later, ok?”
He nodded, “Go save some lives! I’ll talk to you soon.”
You smiled and blushed, “I’ll talk to you soon.” you stood up and ended the call.
Joel sat in his bed, beaming, feeling happier than he’d ever felt before.
He heard a ding and looked at his laptop:
‘I know it's been less than a minute but I miss you and your voice already, wanna Skype again later? ❣️🥺’
He chuckled and typed back:
‘I was just thinkin’ of messaging you the same thing, beautiful 😘 Just message me when you’re free and I’ll call you! ❤️’
Reader’s POV
2 weeks later
You and Joel had Skype called a few times in the last couple of weeks, more than the once-a-week foundation you laid out.
You could tell that not only yourself, but he was addicted to hearing from each other. It was the highlight of your day when it happened and made your whole chaotic world slow down.
Z and Maria met him on the last call two days ago when they crashed your call, just like you did to Maria. You couldn’t help but laugh at the karma.
Maria and Tommy Skyped more often than you and Joel, they even started to flirt themselves as you heard eavesdropping on her last call. You and Z would giggle at her attempt to flirt outside of the window while listening together.
You sent your disposable camera back to Joel a week ago along with another letter and parcel. This one included little candies that Z had shown you that you decided you had to share with Joel and Sarah.
Z and you were glued at the hip, now that he was back to pretty much his full health, he helped in the clinic when you’d work if he wasn’t off playing with other boys in the village. He would help gather supplies and translate if needed between you and injured or sick village folk.
He taught you how to say things so that when he wasn’t around you knew what to say or ask. He was patient and admired how you wanted to learn the language instead of being ignorant like most other soldiers.
Since Terrance had been discharged to go home, Reggie got a new partner, right after you guys got back, his name was Braedon. However, something about him just didn’t feel right to any of you. He only cared about himself and Reggie even felt something off about him, he just couldn’t place it other than he was self-centered and only worried about climbing the ranks, not about saving the lives needing it or making personal sacrifices. You couldn’t stand him as he always had something smart to say or just wasn’t useful, someone always having to babysit him.
—
July 20th, 2014
13:09
You were cleaning out a wound in the medical tent, a small group had just rolled in from a camp 2 miles north that was overrun. Maria and Reggie were on the other side dealing with their problems while Braedon stood there, not jumping in to help with the obvious load.
You were tired, hungry, and frustrated, and you didn’t have time to babysit.
“Hey Braedon, there’s a head lac in bay 2, can you take care of that?” you yelled at him over the screams of pain from your patient and the normal hustle and bustle of the med tent.
He looked at you and rolled his eyes, annoyed, “Yep.” then said something under his breath as he walked over to bay 2 and began working.
Z was standing next to you and saw the reaction as well, he looked up at you, “What’s his problem?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, glaring, you scoffed, “I don’t know Z… but it’s about to be an earful from me…” you clenched your jaw, temper starting to boil.
You addressed the wound you were cleaning. You began packing it, starting a line of fluids, and making sure the patient was comfortable, when you looked at Z, “Start to gather gauze and a pair of gloves for the guy over in bay 9, and then wait for me there.” Z nodded and then left to do what you said.
Your blood was now boiling, fists balled. You were done with his selfishness and shitty attitude. He tended to hit the right buttons and now that you think about it, he reminded you of your ex. The difference between the two was you didn’t take that bullshit anymore and were a United States Army medic, which had given you a newfound confidence, and a ‘fuck around and find out’ attitude.
You walked up and stood across from him as he was working on a patient that seemed to now be unconscious, “Alright, I’m just gon’ cut the bullshit and say what I want to say to you because I am for one sick of the bullshit fake ‘team effort’ you seem to put on only when commanding officers are around for you to brown nose.” You clenched your jaw and narrowed your gaze, “I’m not here to fuckin’ babysit you, neither is Reggie and neither is Maria. The four of us, we are a team - hell you and Reggie are partners, start acting like it.’ You raised your voice slightly, frustrated by his lack of urgency with Tier 1 trauma patients like this one below you, “Next- if you see someone fuckin’ bleedin’, you need to put the two goddamn brain cells you seem to possess, together, and jump in - do your fucking job.” You make eye contact with him, eyes dangerous and threatening, fists balled so tight you are putting nail marks into your palms, “Lastly, the next time you roll your eyes at me, say some backhanded comment, or cop an attitude in the slightest, I’ll knock your head so hard, it’ll fuckin’ spin.” you said lowly, giving him a fake two-second smile after. “Glad we can now be on the same page…” you bit out and then you turned around to walk away towards the bay you told Z to go to, shaking your hands out at your side, letting that energy go.
Just as you were walking around the outside of the tent, several feet away from Z, you felt a tug at your left shoulder before you were spun around and a fist met the left side of your jaw, disorienting you for a moment, knocking you to the ground, and then immediately being kicked in the ribs a few times. “I’ll talk to you however I fucking want, you fucking bitch!” then a glob of spit landed on your cheek. “You and that dirty fuckin’ terrorist kid can fuck off!” he said referring to Z.
You’ve never seen red and felt so much rage before. Your heart began to pound in your chest so loud you heard it in your ears, and heat rose from your back to your head.
You grabbed a fist full of dirt from the ground and threw it up into his eyes, then grabbed his foot and knocked him to the ground, straddling his waist. You landed a blow to his nose, then another, harder, hearing it crack. You grabbed him by the jaw to center his face with one hand and then punched him again in the cheek, blood now running from his nose and mouth.
Z screamed your name, telling you to stop.
You didn’t hear anything, adrenaline muting out your surroundings, only focusing on him.
Braedon flipped you off of him and tried to straddle you, to pin you down, but you did a maneuver to get out from under him and instead on top of him, putting him in a chokehold, then flipping around to one side and slamming yourself on the ground on your back, holding him against you, wrapping your legs around his knees, locking your ankles to immobilize him. He began elbowing your ribs over and over to get away, scratching at your arms, but you just tightened your grip, numb to the pain with the adrenaline coursing through your body. He started gasping for air, and you felt his body go slowly limp, so you let him go, he rolled to the side and choked for air.
You stood up and felt blood coming from your lips and nose. You touched your lip and saw blood, “Made me bleed… big mistake.” you said to yourself, eyes focused on him like he was prey.
He was on all fours, coughing, trying to catch his breath, Z ran to get Maria or Reggie after seeing the look you had in your eye.
Your chest was heaving, breathe heavy, but slow and controlled. Rolled your shoulders back, and stepped forward, kicking his tailbone, knocking him flat on the ground, he whined, “Please, I’m sorry…”
Your gaze was cold and numb, not caring about anything he was saying.
“Get up.” you said plainly, unemotionally. He didn’t move. “Get the fuck up!” you raged.
He rose slowly and backed up raising his hands in defeat. “Please Y/N.. I said I was sorry…” he pleaded.
You walked him up against a wall that was behind him, crowding his space, grabbing the collar of his shirt, “Sorry would have cut it if you just went after me, but you went after Z… no apology will take that back, you revolting piece of shit.” you punched him in the jaw as he did to you which made him lean to the left to fall to the ground but then you grabbed him by his shoulders and kneed him in the groin.
You stepped back as he toppled over and fell to the ground, holding his groin and crying in pain, you repositioned and kicked him twice in the torso, cursing him under your breath, you stepped back, he was coughing up blood and gasping for air. You took another step towards him, fist still balled and bloody at your sides, calculating to kick him again in the stomach or face, you didn’t know which, you would just swing.
That’s when you felt Maria. She pulled you back, arms wrapping around your midsection and trapping your arms, picking you up to move you back, “Stop… you need to stop!” you fought against her, not grasping it was her. Rage still taking hold of your senses, “Let me go! Let me fucking go!” Maria looked at Reggie, holding you still, who then went and checked on Braedon.
Z stepped in front of you to block your vision of Braedon which made you snap out of it.
Your vision cleared and you were aware of what you had just done. Your breathing was ragged and uneven, then the pain hit you like a train, “Ah fuck..” you felt your ribs on fire with each breath.
“Ok… there we go… there you are.” she let you go and came in front of you, touching your cheek and shoulder, “Fuck…” she grimaced at your face. “What the hell happened?” she looked over you, assessing you. She knew this wasn’t your fault, something was said or done to provoke this level of violence from you.
You fell to your knees and gripped your rib cage with one hand and your head with the other, in too much pain to understand what she had just asked before you heard Z speak.
“He hit her first.” Z said softly, “I saw it. Then called her a bitch and spit on her… and then called me a…” he stopped and looked down sadly.
Maria looked back at him, “Z, what did he call you?”
You looked at Z who was saddened and most likely ashamed by the slur, “He called him a dirty fuckin’ terrorist, Maria.” you looked past Z, Braedon still on the ground, bloodied and in pain. You clenched your jaw angrily, and took a deep breath, “You don’t say shit like that without consequences.” you looked back up at her, anger in your eyes.
Maria looked back at Braedon and Reggie, “Reggie, get him bay 6 and then get Sarge… a report needs to be filed against him for assault and hate speech.” Reggie didn’t care to question, he also knew you weren’t capable of this level of violence either without being provoked and you all knew there was something off with this guy.
He nodded and had another nearby soldier help him load Braedon onto a transfer cot and then took him to bay 6.
You shook your head to refocus yourself and stood to your feet, starting to walk away, to bay 9, wiping the blood from your nose and lip on the bottom of your shirt.
“Uh, where do you think you’re going?” Maria asked, shocked to see what you were doing.
“I’m fine Maria. We’ve got work to do.” you stopped walking and looked back at Z, “Come on Z, I need your help.” then began walking again, slowly, obvious to everyone you were in pain.
Z looked at Maria, unsure what to do.
Maria sighed at your stubbornness. “Keep an eye on her, we only have a few hours left on shift then I’ll make her get checked out.”
He nodded and ran to catch up with you. You hugged him to your side protectively when he caught up and kissed the top of his head, “No one gets to call you those names, not ever Z.”
He nodded and hugged your side gently back, “Yes, khahar…”
You finished your shift and then snuck away to your bunkhouse as you saw Maria still knee-deep in a patient and Z left about an hour ago to play soccer with some of his friends after you put on a brave face to convince him you were fine. You closed the door with a chair up against it and started to take off your shirt, wincing in pain. You took it off and looked at yourself in the mirror, accessing the damage.
Your ribs were lightly bruised which would be the start of an ugly sight. You had scratch marks up and down your forearms from when you had him in a chokehold. You took a deep breath through your nose and then looked at your face, your nose had dried blood coming from it, but no signs of it being broken that you could see. Your lip was swollen and broken slightly, but not the worst it’s been.
You tilted your head back and forth to stretch your neck as there was a pain in it from the punch, most likely whiplash.
You saw the picture you had of Sarah and Joel taped to your mirror and sighed sadly, “Crap, he’s going to lose his shit.” you pinched the bridge of your nose and closed your eyes, a raging headache starting.
You heard the door handle twist and then try to open, “God damn it. Y/N, let me in!” Maria sighed, shouting through the door.
You came to the door and moved the chair, twisting the handle to open the door, “I’m not going to the med tent, I already did an assessment. In conclusion, I got fucked up. Bruised ribs and whiplash but that’s it.” you said as if that was going to stop her from dragging you to the clinic herself.
“Nice try, you need to get checked out. Sarge’s orders. He needs it for the report, he also needs your statement.” She argued.
“But I-” you looked at her to protest.
“No, now. I came to get you. Go.” she said, not budging.
You sighed and grabbed your shirt, swinging it over your shoulder, walking out of the bunkhouse towards the med tent in your sports bra, subconsciously proud of your battle wounds, wearing them like a badge of honor.
Maria logged onto her computer quickly and sent a message to Tommy:
‘I need you to get a message to Joel as I know it’s their day they Skype. There was an incident today involving Y/N and that other medic that we all knew was a snake. She’s fine, she just has orders to get checked out by the medics and give her statement to our sergeant. I’m not sure if she’ll feel up to Skyping but I just know you told me about Joel's anxiety. I just don’t want him to worry if he calls and she doesn’t answer. Thank you, talk soon. xx’
She then ran to catch up with you.
Joel’s POV
He woke up that sweet Sunday morning at 6 am, excited to hear from you today at around 8 am, which was your normal scheduled time if Sundays went easy for you.
It had only been two days since you two last spoke but for him, it felt like an eternity, he loved the normal scheduled Sunday Skype sessions, but the ones where you or he would randomly say, ‘I miss you, do you have time to talk?’ made him begin to fall in love with you more and more, and the comfort you brought to him, he had no words for it. Even from thousands of miles away, you became an integral part of his life, of his being.
He saw that you messaged him earlier in the day for you before you started your shift:
‘I can’t wait for tonight cowboy! Hope you are sleeping well! 😘’
He smiled and typed back:
‘I’ll see you soon sweetheart. I miss you. ❤️’
A few moments later as he was walking down the stairs he got a text message from Tommy:
‘Hey, you up?’
He texted back almost immediately:
‘Yeah, just about to cook some breakfast before I Skype with Y/N…’
Within seconds he had an incoming call from his brother, he answered, “Hey what’s up?” he smiled softly, walking the rest of the way down the stairs.
“Mornin’... hey uh.. I just got a message from Maria about Y/N...” Tommy said sadly and softly, trying not to set off alarm bells for Joel.
Joel felt his heart drop into his stomach, “What? What do you mean? W-what’s wrong?”
Tommy sighed softly, “Maria said not to panic or worry, she’s fine, she just wanted me to pass along a message to you. I’m going to text you a screenshot of her message, ok?”
Joel put Tommy on speaker and opened up his messages from Tommy, “Yeah, send it.” he said, feeling sick to his stomach.
Tommy sent it, “She sent this about 3 hours ago. I’m not sure what’s going on. Maria said she’d keep me updated, I just messaged her asking for an update but she’s still offline.”
Joel read through the message, twice. “Fuck, what’s that weasel's name, Braedon?” he could feel his anger bubble up, the want to protect you but not being able to from this distance was something he was constantly battling internally.
“Yeah, that’s him.” Tommy sucked in some air and sighed, “Maria has said there was something off about him for a couple of weeks now. He must’ve shown his true colors.”
Joel huffed, frustrated, “Yeah, just did it on my girl… god if I was there I’d-”
Tommy let out a chuckle, “I know, you and me both brother.”
Joel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Thanks for the update, just let me know if Maria messages back and I’ll let you know if I hear from Y/N…”
“Sounds good, will do. Talk to you later.” Tommy said softly before ending the call.
Joel sighed and shook his head but then decided he wasn’t going to let his consume him, if Maria said you were ok, you were ok.
He started to make breakfast for himself as Sarah had spent the night at a friend's.
About an hour later he heard from Tommy via text:
‘Hey, Maria just messaged me, she said she has 2 broken ribs and a bunch of bruised ones, a fractured nose, a small split on her lip, and a small concussion. They gave her a sedative and she’s sleeping for the rest of the night.’
Within ten seconds he got another text from Tommy:
‘HOWEVER…’
Then another paragraph came through:
‘She said you should see the other guy. I guess Y/N beat the shit out of him. He has 3 broken ribs, several bruised ones, a broken nose, a broken cheekbone, missing 2 teeth, a concussion, a bruised trachea, and get this… a testicular tear. 🤣 Maria said she hit him so hard in the balls that he has a severe bruise and it has torn the protective tissue. He needs surgery for it, LOL. Atta girl 🎉’
Joel chuckled which turned into a guttural laugh the more he read the injuries you inflicted on this piece of shit.
‘Shit. Remind me to never piss her off… haha. Did Maria say when she might be awake? I’d like to check on her.’
‘She said she’d be out the rest of the night for them, I’d say send her a message later tonight, maybe she’ll be awake tomorrow morning for them…’
Joel nodded and sent a thumbs-up emoji back to Tommy before thinking of what to do to fill the rest of his day, then he got an idea.
He grabbed his truck keys and headed to the store.
He got back home a few hours later and started putting everything together. He had grabbed a big box, a sympathy card, a nice fluffy blanket, some of your favorite snacks you had mentioned to him, some icy hot cream, some fuzzy socks with whales on them, some face masks he found on sale, and a candle that he thought smelled like him.
He wrote in the sympathy card:
‘Rest in Peace: Braedon’s ball sack. Cause of death: his own damn fault and my girl standing on business.
I’m sorry to hear you got hurt darlin’. I’m sending this while you’re sleeping off being sedated. Hopefully, you’re feeling much better by the time you get this, but I just wanted to send some stuff that I’d get you if you were actually, well here.
Sarah says you can never go wrong with a nice fluffy blanket. I also got you some of your favorite snacks that I know you’ve been missing since being there. I thought some icy hot would be something ya’ll don’t have on hand and thought it might bring you some relief. Fuzzy socks, with whales, obviously. I thought since Sarah likes these face masks, you might enjoy them too… you can do them with Maria, I sent a few. Finally, a candle. Now something that brings me comfort when I am hurt or sick is cuddling someone that brings me comfort and just inhaling in their shampoo or perfume, their scent. I thought maybe since I can’t be there, this might be a good placeholder. It’s the closest I could tell that smelled like me. Sarah said a mix of eucalyptus and spearmint, so this was the closest to that. :)
Get well soon. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, just know in the future, I’ll be the one breaking bones for you. I’ll protect you so you don’t ever have to go through this again. I promise.
With all my love,
Joel’
He didn’t hesitate or think twice about the last part, he meant it with every part of him. He knew neither of you was ready to say the big three words, but this was close enough to express it.
He packed everything in nicely and tightly and then wrote your address and left with it to go to the post office to drop it off.
By the time he got home from the post office, it was 5 pm and the Cowboys game was on. Ironically playing the Broncos.
He kept checking his phone and laptop for any update or message from you or Tommy, but nothing had come in.
It was 9 pm when he started to head upstairs to bed. He started to brush his teeth and wash his face when he heard the beautiful sound of a ‘ding’ from his laptop. He dried off his face quickly and got into bed, sitting against the headboard, eagerly opening up his laptop to see a message from you:
‘Hey cowboy, you still up? ❤️’
He immediately hit the call button, desperate to see you.
Within a couple of seconds, a dark screen came on, and your camera turned off. “Hey handsome.” he couldn’t see if but you were smiling softly.
“Hey sweetheart… I uh… I can’t see you… can you turn your camera on for me?” he said softly.
You swallowed, and took a breath, “Joel… it’s bad… I…”
“I don’t care, I need to see you, please let me see your beautiful face darlin’...” his brown eyes pleading with you, he looked so damn cute when he looked at you like that.
“I… it’s going to be hard to see me, the lights are all off due to my concussion.” you tried to make excuses, you knew it would be hard and upsetting for him to see you like this.
“Baby I don’t care if I can only see that bright smile of yours, I just… I need to know you’re ok. Please?” he smiled softly, trying to plead his case.
You gently chuckled but then winced at the pain caused by that in your ribs, “Ah.. fuck… right, can’t laugh.” you let out a breath.
You turned on the camera, you had an Army hoodie on, hood over your head, Joel could see your face fully due to the brightness of your screen being illuminated against your skin.
His eyes turned sad and he winced, “Oh god… sweetheart. I… what happened?” he reached out and touched the screen like he was trying to touch you, “Tell me what happened baby…”
You rolled your shoulders back and tried to stretch your back, sore. You sighed gently then softly smiled at how he was being, gentle and loving. “Long or short story handsome?”
“Tell me everything baby, I have nothing but time for you…” he softly smiled back.
You told him everything, at least the details you could remember, some of it was fuzzy, but how it started, you would never forget. You explained how he most likely will be dishonorably discharged if you file charges against him for aggravated assault and hate speech. Sarge wanted you to think about it and let him know later today.
“You are filing charges against him, right? I mean he… he put hands on you, fuckin’ spit on your face.” he started to get upset as he realized the utter disrespect he gave you by spitting on you, that alone didn’t sit well with Joel.
You nodded, “Yeah, of course I am. I don’t much care about me getting a few bumps and bruises, I’m more upset about what he said about Z. That’s what filled me with rage, not by being knocked on my ass, it was that fucking…” you visually were getting more upset, anger festering up.
“Hey hey, it's ok baby, take a breath…” he said softly.
You sighed and gripped the bridge of your nose, “I just… I’ve never felt so angry, you know? I… I don’t remember doing half the things I was told I did. I almost killed him at one point they said, one slight movement and boom, broken neck.” you closed your eyes, softly chuckled and then immediately winced again. “I mean, I’ve been beat up before, I know how to take a hit, I know how to take one and stay down, hell that’s why I joined. Came into boot camp with bruised ribs, I’m sure I had a concussion too from the jackass, but that’s not what fueled me.” you shook your head and clenched your jaw. “Sayin’ something that vile, about Z? A kid? That doesn’t just slide off so easily…”
There was a pause, some silence followed by Joel softly speaking up.
“Darlin’, what do you mean you were beat up before you joined?” Joel asked, sadly looking at you.
You hadn’t shared that part of your past with him yet, you never found the right time, it just seemed too heavy to bring up.
You looked at him and sighed before instinctually looking down, embarrassed and for some reason nervous, “I umm..” you swallowed the lump in your throat, tears starting to surface, “His name is Charlie. I, unfortunately, was trapped with him for quite some time. He was my ex, that turned into… well a monster.” you bit the inner part of your cheek, “There’d be days he’d lock me in a room or I’d be so beaten I wouldn’t be able to move. He uh.. he was very emotionally, and mentally abusive but mostly physically abusive.” you looked at him, tears streaming down your face, and took a breath, fiddling with the string of the hoodie, you hadn’t thought of him since meeting Joel, you found such solace and security being in his life. He never made you feel unsafe or undesirable. “The night that I left for good…” your bottom lip quivered.
“Baby, it’s ok, you don’t need t-” Joel softly began.
“No, I do. You deserve to know Joel.” you cut him off and then bit your lip gently, “The night I left, he beat me within an inch of my life. I was coughin’ up blood, barely passed my physical.” you scoffed. “I honestly only made it out alive because he stopped beating me to get the damn takeout he ordered.” you swallowed hard, tears streaming down, you wiped them gently. “When he passed out, I took my shoes, keys, and wallet, and never looked back. I don’t even have a phone when I get back… hell I don’t even have a home to go back to.” You hysterically let out a sad chuckle, then instantly reached down and held your rib cage and groaned, “I just drove and drove and when I saw the recruiting office, I parked my car there, signed on the dotted line, and took the bus to Fort Jackson.” you let out a heavy sigh, “I joined so he wouldn’t find me. I… I filed charges against him numerous times but his buddies worked at the sheriff’s office and nothing ever seemed to stick. I knew I needed to disappear. Plus, I thought that I would have some job experience for when I would get out in the real world if I joined.” you shrugged. “I’m sorry I never told you, it just seemed too heavy to bring up randomly and I guess I was just avoiding letting you know that dark part of my past.”
Joel just sat and listened, supportively nodding and taking in everything you shared with him.
“Baby, have nothing to be sorry for.” he began, “No one will ever hurt you like that, ever again, do you understand me?” he softly said when you finished speaking, and you nodded.
“I will never lay hand on you, and if I ever do, you better leave me after you did what you did to that fool, Braedon. What was it? Testicular contusion with a scrotal tear?” he questioned.
You chuckled and nodded through tears, wincing again. “Stop makin’ me laugh, it hurts!” you teased..
Joel chuckled and apologized and then smiled lovingly at you, “I promise, this will be the last time, at least until you’re here with me, that a man will ever lay hands on you, yeah?”
You smiled lovingly back and nodded, that three-word phrase edging itself on your tongue for the first time. Neither of you had made anything official but it felt like it was an unsaid thing, you know? You both adored each other and from a distance took care of each other. You had both just seamlessly fit together, into each other's routines, expectations and so much more. He felt like your best friend and you were sure he felt the same about you. You had never felt this way about someone before, it scared you but it also felt so freeing. He made you feel like yourself again, she had been lost for so long since Charlie, but Joel brought her out.
He looked at you like there was something worth looking at.
He blushed softly, “You make me really happy, you know that?”
You shrugged and looked away shyly, “Never coulda’ guessed…” you teased and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “You make me really happy too, cowboy.”
He bit his lip trying to contain his smile, “I like when you call me cowboy too, it uh..” he cleared his throat, looking down shyly, “It’s somethin’ only you have called me. It uh… makes me feel all types of ways darlin’.” he peeked up at you with those big brown eyes, you felt your cheeks heat up and a heat start to form between your legs.
You shyly looked down, “I can relate to that same feeling when you look at me with those big brown eyes of yours...”
He chuckled softly and licked his lips, “I’ll be sure to remember that for future reference.” he started to smirk.
You blushed and smiled widely but then winced, “Ah, damn it, can’t smile and laugh, this sucks.”
He looked at the time, “Do you have to work today?”
You shook your head, “They are tryna tell me to take the day off but we are short-handed already with Braedon now being in critical care adding to the load we have to deal with. I think I’m fine, I’d take it easy.”
Joel raised an eyebrow, “You? Take it easy? Darlin’ takin’ it easy is somethin’ I’ve never seen you do since you’ve been there.” he chuckled, “Take a day, rest. I’m sure if the world turns upside down they’ll come to get you but you don’t need to work, you need to get better.” he softly said, “Please, at least take today off, for me?” he used those big brown eyes.
You shook your head and softly chuckled again, “You are awful cowboy…” you winced. “Usin’ those brown eyes to your advantage, again. But I’m sure you also just saw the time and know if I don’t work, you’ll get more time with me…” you looked at him with your arms folded, raising your eyebrow, which he found adorable.
“You are not 100% wrong sweetheart, but no, I’d let you rest, get some more sleep…�� he grinned, “And just call you again later.” he winked.
You bit your lip and shook your head, looking down, “You’re lucky I like you so much cowboy.” you looked back up at him, “Alright, deal. I’ll rest up and then call you back again when you get up to talk shortly before you have to go to work.”
“You seem to forget darlin’, I own the company, I can be as late as I want to if it means I’m talkin’ to you.” he smiled.
You raised your eyebrow and smirked, “Mmm I seem to remember you have a consultation and monthly meeting tomorrow with your crew, all before 9 am. You sure you can just… roll in late to those, handsome?”
“For you, absolutely…” he said with zero hesitation or doubt in his voice.
You shook your head smiling like an idiot, not caring that it hurt, and teasingly rolled your eyes, “Get to sleep handsome, you’ve got a big day tomorrow. Call me after your meetings, and I’ll get some more rest. Sound like a plan?”
He nodded and sighed dramatically, “Fine, deal. I’ll talk to you then.”
“Good. Sweet dreams cowboy.” you softly said.
“I will sweetheart, as you’re always in ‘em” he winked.
You bit your lip shyly, “And you in mine. G’night”
“Goodnight sweetheart.”
You hadn’t slept so well in a long time, and just like you said, you were with him in your dreams, wishing it would soon come true.
2 weeks later
You did as you promised and took the rest of that day off, in fact, Joel convinced you to take another day as your pain management was still balancing out. He would check in on you via video chat or messages. He continued to prove he was your rock. He wasn’t going anywhere and even from a distance he provided you with a level of comfort, security, and love that you had never felt.
When you got his care package a few days ago, you have never felt so happy in your life. This man went out and not only gathered things but things with a purpose and reason behind them. He remembered the candy and chips you missed. You had only mentioned them in passing, but he remembered. The candle sent you over the edge emotionally. You laid in your bed that afternoon, tears streaming down your face, eyes closed, holding the candle by your face, wishing, dreaming it was him next to you. You prayed the smell would last until you were back home and could travel to see him. You said you wouldn’t light it for that specific purpose, to make it last.
You hung the card next to his picture on your mirror and looked at the last part constantly, ‘with all my love’... your heart was so full and you knew as soon as you could get home, you wanted nothing more than to be with him. You loved him too, and couldn’t wait to tell him when you were able to say it against his lips or in his arms.
Your injuries slowly but surely healed. You still had issues with your ribs, but you would for a while, but your face and nose healed up nicely.
You pressed charges against Braedon, and after he was medically released he was sent back home. Maria said that she had heard he was trying to press charges against you when you went and discussed it with your commanding officer, they agreed with you, you were acting out of self-defense, and just because he couldn’t defend himself, didn’t mean your actions were like his, assault. However, your commanding officer and you did have a laugh and he told you if there was ever a next time, maybe pull back before you hit them in the balls so hard you lessen their chance to have kids. You said you’d try.
Joel had sent you pictures of the rocking chair he was working on, Sarah even took some of him sanding some wood down and you couldn’t wait to thank her personally for them as it was Joel in his element. Not only that but you couldn’t help but note that he had his biceps flexed, his shirt tightly fitted, he was somewhat sweaty, and wore the most irresistible jeans that hugged him perfectly. You may have kept that one under your pillow and used it late at night when you couldn’t sleep and needed to relieve some tension.
You went back to work full time and continued writing letters to Joel, sending photos you and Maria took. The last few were a little shorter than normal as you two had already spoken to him 3 times this week for at least 2 hours each time, there wasn’t much to write about, but you still wanted to keep up the routine you had, as you loved it was something just between you two.
He mentioned in his last letter that when you got home he would take some work off to spend time with you and wanted to know what you wanted to do in that time, he had a few ideas he said but also wanted to do things you wanted to do as well. You wrote back a few days ago that you wanted him to take you dancing as in one of the last calls you had, he was cooking dinner and had music on in the background and started dancing to make you laugh, he also told you that he and Tommy knew how to line dance and won an award when they were younger, so dancing was a must. You told him you also wanted to host a barbeque with him for Sarah, Tommy, and Maria, and maybe some neighbors too, you wanted to try his baby back ribs he kept going on about and you mentioned you made a really good mac and cheese, the two could be good together. You also asked what his ideas were, wanting to know a sneak peek.
—
August 4, 2014
14:43
You were taking inventory of supplies when your commanding officer came over, you stood to attention and saluted him.
“At ease soldier.” he said sternly.
You stood and put your hands behind your back, still standing respectfully, “Sir?”
“Pack your things, you and your partner are going to aid Delta 42.”
Delta 42. Instantly your stomach sank.
You all had heard of the destruction and loss of lives that happened there. You all called it ‘no man's land’ - no one made it out.
“Sir, may I ask how long this assignment is? To prepare?” you could feel your anxiety rising.
“3 days. You have 3 days to find a superior officer that has sent a distress signal and transport him back here before we pull you out with or without him and god willing with both of you still alive…” he said so unemotionally, so matter of factly, he knew he was sending you and Maria to your possible death.
“Sir, do we have coordinates?” you said, starting to disassociate.
“Everything will be given to you en route. You have 15 minutes…” he nodded and then turned to leave.
You felt your heart race start to race and your breathing became quick and panicked.
‘Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth’ your mind annoyingly reminded you. You did so a few times and focused on calming your heart rate down.
“Ok… 15 minutes.” you put your clipboard down and ran out of the supply closet towards your bunkhouse. You changed quickly into your gear and then packed what you needed into your bag. You grabbed the photo you have on your mirror of Joel and Sarah and put it into your vest pocket that laid over your heart. Maria came running in shortly after, doing the same thing. Both of you frantically getting your bearings, panicking internally.
You looked at the time, 8 minutes.
Joel and Z. You needed to alert both of them to the situation.
Joel first. You did the math quickly in your head, it was close to 1 am where he was, so you tried calling him, no answer.
“Fuck. Please answer…” you said to the screen.
You tried calling again, no answer, status: offline.
You looked at Maria, she was trying the same thing with Tommy, “You getting him either?”
She shook her head and sighed.
You slammed your hands against the desk, frustrated, feeling so much pressure, “Fuck! 15 minutes isn’t enough!”
You looked at the time, 5 minutes.
You frantically typed:
‘Joel, I was just notified that Maria and I are being sent on an immediate field assignment. Please answer… I need to talk to you.’
You waited for 30 seconds, watching the clock climb closer to the time you needed to leave.
‘Joel, baby, please answer me.’
You tried calling again, no answer.
You sighed heavily and tears began to fall against your cheeks. You had so much to say to him in case you didn’t make it back. You needed to hear his voice one more time.
You took a breath and looked over at Maria, she had no luck either.
You swallowed and debated telling him how severe this was, you didn’t want him to stress for the next few days, but you wanted to say things that would only be said in the event of something serious happening.
You were having an internal battle with yourself that you couldn’t afford to have with the little time you possessed.
Fuck it.
‘I will be back in 3 days. 3 days. I’ll come back to you, I promise. And if by some cruelty I break that promise, just know, you have never left my mind since we met and you won’t until my last breath. You are my waking thought, my sweet dream, and everything in between.’
‘You will always be the one I long for, the love I would cross the universe to find.’
You sobbed, genuinely not knowing if you would now get the chance to say those three words to him, the words he deserves to know you felt for him.
‘I love you cowboy, and I’ll do everything I can to get back to you to tell you that in person.’
You looked at the clock, 3 minutes, you cursed as you shut your laptop “I need to find Z.” you said to yourself and Maria before grabbing your bag and rifle and running out of the bunkhouse. Maria running after you shortly after.
You had no idea where to find him, you hadn’t seen him all day.
“Z?” you frantically looked in the med tent for him, but he wasn’t there.
“Z!” you shouted, Maria as well.
Reggie looked at you both, confused and now concerned seeing how frantic you both were, “What’s going on?”
You looked at Reggie, and you had tears welling up, “We are going to no man’s land. Where’s Z?”
Reggie’s face dropped, “I uh, I don’t know, he usually is by the field if he’s not here…” You instantly bolted that way, you had less than two minutes before you needed to be on that aircraft.
“Z! Azzami!!” you practically screamed, trying to spot him as you ran.
Maria shouted at you “Y/N, we gotta go! We can’t wait any longer… Reggie will tell him!”
You stopped and looked back at her “I- we… what if we don’t make it back?” you sobbed.
“He knows. He already knows we love him.” Maria said, tears streaming down her face as well.
You dropped to your knees, feeling defeated by the situation, so you yelled out loud in frustration, hurting your lungs and ribs. This isn’t supposed to happen.
Maria felt the same way and came up to you and touched your shoulder, “We need to go. We are going to be late.”
You looked at her and took a deep breath then wiped your eyes and shoved everything down and stood back up. “We’re making it back, together, yeah?”
Maria put her forehead against yours and nodded, “Yeah, you and me. We got this.”
You nodded, “Ok, let’s go.” then you both took off running towards the aircraft waiting to take the both of you to the next three days of absolute hell.
Joel’s POV
Joel woke up to getting texts and calls from Tommy, at 5 am. He had at least another hour to sleep but when he turned over and looked at his phone he saw he had 4 missed calls and 9 messages from Tommy.
His heart dropped, his breathing hitched and he immediately thought about you.
He scrambled out of his bed, knocking things off his nightstand, and ran downstairs to his office, opening up to laptop.
He saw 8 notifications on his Skype.
“Fuck.” he opened up yours and his chat log and started reading.
Tears started to gather in his eyes, his heart pounding as he read, panicking by how you were talking. Where were you going? What danger are you getting thrown into? Thousands of thoughts swarmed his mind and then they all stopped when he read,
‘I love you cowboy, and I’ll do everything I can to get back to you to tell you that in person.’
He couldn’t help but smile for a moment, holding onto that feeling, that you love him, but he was brought right back to reality and fell to his knees and softly sobbed.
This can’t be happening. I can’t lose her. I love her and never got the chance to say it back. He thought to himself. He didn’t know what to do, he felt so helpless, everything was out of his control.
His phone buzzed again against his desk, a call from Tommy.
He grabbed it and leaned up against the wall behind his desk, the room dark, the house silent, Sarah still peacefully asleep.
He sighed and leaned his head against the wall behind him, “Hey…”
Tommy seemed just as distraught to Joel’s surprise. He knew Tommy and Maria liked each other as you told him in confidence but he didn’t know it was like this.
“What did Y/N say? Maria said they were going on a field assignment, some idiot general sent a distress signal and they are sending them in to get him, she said it would be a few days… Joel she was sayin’ things...” his voice cracked.
“I know.” Joel sniffled. “Y/N said similar things…” he chuckled sadly. “Things you only say if you think you’re about to die.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tommy please tell me what the hell is going on, what did they get thrown into, what are their odds?” he said softly.
Tommy sighed, sniffing as well, “Depending on the area, they could be going into an active combat zone, or they could just be going on a wild goose chase, with the possibility of being an open target. I don’t know man, I just know for them to send only two medics means they want less attention drawn which to me means they could be going into active combat for which they’ll most likely be going in with a combat specialist to assist.”
Joel sighed, “Ok, so if they do go with someone trained in combat that’s better than nothing, right?”
Tommy bit his inner cheek, “I guess, I just… why them?”
“They are some of the best in their area and Reggie right now is partnerless. Y/N said he isn’t supposed to get someone ‘til next week, they can’t send him solo.”
Joel was right, they won’t send Reggie alone and they weren’t going to separate you and Maria. However whether you liked it or not, you two had the lowest mortality rate in the region and worked well as a team. It was a no-brainer to send you on this assignment.
“Will you keep me posted if you hear anything sooner and I’ll do the same?” Tommy asked.
“Of course. I’ll uh.. See you in a few hours at the office, yeah?” Joel scratched his head, he was now up for the day, and he wouldn’t be able to sleep with this news. And he didn’t sleep very well for the next 3 days.
Reader’s POV
As soon as you and Maria got into the aircraft and buckled in, it took off.
Maria and you looked down at the open door, watching you fly away from what you knew as safety.
You turned your head and noticed another soldier across from you, looking stoic, and composed.
The pilot came on the intercom, “We are headed to Delta 42, this is an active combat zone. Everything will be there, tanks, snipers, missile strikes, you are going to no man’s land!”
You took deep breaths, trying to stay calm, get into the zone, and focus.
“Private Coleman is Special Forces, para-rescue. He’s going to be your protection and guide. Your jobs are to not only get out with Captain Williams but get all 3 of you as well out alive.”
Coleman nodded at you both and gripped his rifle closer to himself, “Good to meet ya’ll. Let’s make it back home, yeah?”
You and Maria both nodded, cracking a smile, “I like your attitude.” you said over the comms. “We are on a first-name basis, I’m Y/N and this is my partner, Maria.” you tapped Maria with your elbow, and she nodded.
“I’m Jack.” he looked out the window. “We are going to touch down, we are all 3 going to get out and run to the southwest wall, from there we will gather our bearings and make a plan. We have at least a 5-mile radius to cover before we get to Captain’s coordinates.” he looked back at you two, “Any questions?”
“Yeah, how are you not shitting yourself right now?” Maria asked, internally freaking out.
Jack laughed, “I’ve been in and out of here 4 times ladies, I’ve already done that the first two times…”
A brief wave of relief washed over you. He’s been here 4 times. Someone that knows the area and threats, we’re gonna be ok, you told yourself over and over internally.
The pilot came on comms, “Alright, we are descending, get ready!”
You all three unbuckled and grabbed your things, strapping your backpack on and putting your rifle over you, pulling out your necklace charm from under all your gear, putting it to your lips, and kissing it.
You grabbed a bar above your head to hold on and watched as the aircraft descended slowly towards the ground.
You took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I have heat signatures coming from your east, take cover as soon as your feet hit the ground!” the pilot said through the comms system before shouting “Now! Go! Go!”
You all three jumped out, the aircraft about 3 feet from the ground.
As soon as your feet hit, the aircraft took a sharp turn and started firing rounds to your east. You all three ran immediately to find cover.
You felt a bullet fly past your left arm. You fell to the ground to take cover then rolled onto your back and sat your head up to look through your scope, saw the target, and pulled the trigger, landing a blow the their shoulder.
You stood back up and ran towards Maria and Jack to catch up.
You all made it to the southwest wall. Explosions and gunfire happening all around you.
Jack shouted, “Ok, the sooner we get this sack of shit, the sooner we can get out of here! We are to move up south to these coordinates, that’s where his distress signal was sent from.” he showed his GPS.
“What happens if we get there and he’s dead?” you asked.
“Still need to get him home! We call for an airborne rescue and take the body…” he shouted back.
You nodded and ducked as something hit the wall above you knocking debris onto you.
“Alright, let’s get to work!” he smiled and started walking towards the destination.
–
For the past two days, you’ve been shot at, missiles and grenades exploding around you. You don’t know if your hearing will ever be the same. You helped those that were wounded around you and then would instruct them if they could make it out the southeast wall and travel north there was a safe haven camp 2 miles that way. Anyone however who was not an Allied force and injured was immediately killed by Jack. He had no empathy for the enemy, and after what you had seen, neither did you.
You were less than a mile from the Captain’s coordinates when you heard someone from behind you, as you turned to see, you were cut in the arm by a knife, “Fuck!” you saw a man with a hand knife make another swing at you, you stepped back and shot his knee cap to disarm him, he fell to the ground and then before you could do anything else Jack shot him in the chest.
You stood there in shock for a second, breathing sharp and fast.
That could have ended so much differently, I could have died. You thought. You gripped your rifle, trying to ground yourself, but then quickly turned to the side and vomited.
“You good?” Maria asked, touching your shoulder.
You nodded and wiped your mouth with your hand, “Yeah, just nerves and starving… not a good mix.”
Jack looked at you both then you, “You’re bleeding…”
You looked at your arm, “Shit.”
Maria looked at you and pulled out her kit, “I got it. You’ll need to clean it when we get home but here…” She sprayed some bacterial spray and then wrapped it with some gauze and tape. “That’ll hold.” she softly smiled at you and you smiled at her, “Thanks partner.” she nodded.
“We have until the morning to get to the coordinates. Let’s take a 2-hour break, get something in our systems, rest up, and then push through the night, yeah?”
You nodded and so did Maria.
You all found a small abandoned house and took turns taking 30-minute naps, grabbed something to eat from your packs, and got something to drink.
You took off your helmet, put it in your lap, and leaned your head against the wall behind you. Almost there, just a little bit longer.
You pulled out the picture of Joel and Sarah and smiled softly. The house you were in shook as a nearby explosion happened, you ducked your head down and instinctually grabbed your necklace.
Once the shaking stopped you looked back at the picture and gently brushed your finger against it, thinking of what life will be like with them once you’re out of here. Holding onto that, keeping that in the back of your head for the next 24 hours.
Jack stood up and pulled a map out of his pack, “Ok, we are right here.” he pointed to an area on the map, “Williams is here.” he pointed to another location a little further south. You and Maria looked at the map.
“What if we went down this road? It's covered by overhead coverings… looks like it may have been a marketplace before…” you pointed to a road to the east of your location which would lead directly to the coordinates, “It would give us cover to move faster and avoid getting hit potentially from above?”
Jack looked at your suggestion, “Maria, any suggestions?” he looked her way.
She shook her head, “If she suggests we go that way, I trust her suggestion.”
Jack looked at you, and took a breath, thinking, “My only concern is if it was a marketplace and has that overhead coverage, it might be a camp base for the enemy.”
You thought for a second, “What if we threw a smoke bomb in? If anyone would be in there, it would create movement, and if it’s invaded, we just walk away and go just up here?” pointing to the main road. “Main road will take longer but it’ll be plan B. The hope would be this road works…”
Jack nodded, “That’ll work. How many smoke bombs do we have?”
“We each have two, that’s 6 total. We have maybe a thousand yards to location… if we throw one every 150 yards we can scope out targets and create a cover for us.” Maria said.
Jack looked at you and Maria, “That’ll work.” he nodded, “Ok, pack up, we can use the lack of light tonight for further coverage.”
You both nodded and gathered your things. You put your helmet back on and put the photo back in your vest pocket after kissing it gently.
Jack looked at you then Maria, “If anything happens to me, you need to grab my radio, and once you get to Willams, carry him to a rooftop nearby and turn to channel 5. Call for Alpha 402, tell them where you are, and they will send a rescue aircraft within minutes.”
You both nodded.
He nodded back and then you all started heading to the road you hoped to take. Praying this would be a simple task now that you’ve made it this far, hoping this would be over soon.
—
You made it down the road with 4 smoke bombs and no movement, you had around 200 yards to go. You kept telling yourself that was easy, that’s 2 football fields.
Jack threw the 5th smoke bomb and waited, scoping out and watching the terrain in front of you. No movement, no sound, it was quiet.
Too quiet.
“We need to run…” Jack said all of a sudden.
“What?” Maria said, not grasping what he said.
“There’s no sound, no birds, nothing, something is going to happen. We need to run,” he said quietly.
All of sudden you heard sirens, sirens signaling only one thing.
“Fuck. Run!” Jack said running, you grabbed Maria’s hand and pulled her with you.
You ran for your life. The sirens got louder the more you ran.
Jack yelled “Over here!” he cut to the left and like a miracle you saw someone peeking out for the rubble, it was the Captain.
You and Maria immediately ran over to him and knelt, you quickly checked his pulse, it was weak but there.
You looked and saw he had an abdominal injury as well as a broken leg.
“Maria, splint the leg fast, I’ll pack the abdominal wound.” you looked up around you for the tallest building.
“Jack, call for air support immediately after we finish addressing these injuries to that building…” you nodded towards a tall building.
He nodded and kept a lookout, “We need to get him moved, hurry!”
You packed the wound as best you could and gave him a shot of morphine quickly. Maria splinted the leg and also sprayed it with that same antibacterial spray.
“Ok done.” you said, looking at Maria.
“Me too, done.” she said.
Jack pulled out his radio and called for air support, expressing that you were in the middle of a possible missile drop and that air support was needed immediately.
You stood up and grabbed Williams, picking him up like you did with Terrance. “Let's go, we have stairs to fucking climb, and I wanna get the fuck home…” you said straining starting to walk towards the building. As you entered the building you heard gunshots from behind you, you turned to find Maria on the ground, bleeding.
“Maria!” you shouted.
Jack shot back towards where the shots were coming from and then took cover in the building you were in, “Let’s go! She’s gone.”
You shook your head, you could tell she was still alive, “No, she needs help! Jack, she needs help!”
“Listen I’m not here to get her to safety, I’m here to get him. We need to move.” he pushed you towards the stairs.
You looked at him in disbelief, anger brewing, “Then you get him out. I’m not leaving without her.” you set the Captain down, grabbed the radio he had on his belt, and started walking back out.
“You’ll never make it! Don’t be stupid!” Jack shouted as he lifted the Captain over his shoulder.
“She’s my sister, I’m not leaving her…” you said as you ran back out to her.
Maria was 20 feet from the building. A few shots went past you, you shot back a few times and then threw the last one of your smoke bombs to create some cover.
You got to her and dragged her to some cover nearby. She was shot in the shoulder and stomach.
“You need to go, leave me.” she said, breath ragged and uneven.
“Maria shut up. I’m not leaving you.” you said, putting pressure on her stomach.
You looked up at the sky and didn’t see a plane coming in yet, you had time.
You hurried and gave her a shot of morphine and then packed her abdomen, “I’m going to carry you. We’re going to make it. I need you to take my pistol and shoot anyone you see behind us until we get into that building, got it?”
Maria shook her head, tears streaming, “Y/N, please, you need to leave me, I’m dead weight.”
“Maria, I made a promise to your parents I would take care of you, and you and I made a deal on that fucking plane we were both making it back, now shut up and say you’ll cover my back!” you shouted at her, focusing on packing her wound.
She looked at you, tears streaming, she was scared.
“I’m not leaving without you.” you looked at her, and shook your head, “You would do the same for me.”
She nodded, and chuckled, “You’re so annoyingly stubborn.”
You chuckled and smiled at her, “Yes I am, which is why we will make it out of here.”
You finished packing her wound and then zipped her vest back up to cover it, keeping it in place, “Ok, ready?”
She nodded and you handed her your pistol. You then grabbed a grenade you had and threw it to make some cover. You grabbed Maria’s arm swung her around your shoulders and started running to the building.
She fired a couple of shots and from what you could tell hit something or someone.
You got inside and looked up, you had at least 12 flights to climb, “You owe me.” you said with a chuckle before you started climbing the stairs, adrenaline driving you. More than halfway up you heard the sound of a plane nearby.
“Fuck we gotta move. Hold onto me!” you shouted.
She wrapped around you as best she could and gripped your vest.
Your legs were burning, your heart pounding so hard you felt like it was going to burst, but you knew you needed to keep pushing.
You made it to the top floor and Jack was loading the Captain in.
“Wait!” you called slamming the door open.
Jack looked back and saw you, yelled at the pilot to hold on, and leaned out of the cockpit to help you load Maria in.
You stepped and grabbed the handle to load yourself in when you felt something hit the side of your leg, you looked down and saw blood, “Fuck.” you looked behind you and before you could react or shoot, Jack fired a round, “Get in!” you pulled yourself in and sat on the floor.
“Ok, Robbie let’s get the fuck out of here!” Jack shouted and you felt the plane pull up and turn towards safety.
You immediately assessed your leg, starting to spray bacterial spray and then wrapping it with gauze and a wrap, hard-wired when seeing blood to address it.
You looked over at Maria after and she was already looking at you. You started laughing, “We did it.”
You chuckled which turned into a laugh, “Fuck, yeah we did!”
Jack joined in, and you looked over at him, sarcastically saying “Fuck you, saying I wouldn’t make it.”
He chuckled, “Shouldn’t have underestimated your stubbornness…”
Maria laughed louder, “No, no you shouldn’t have!”
You all three were in a fit of giggles when the pilot came through the intercom, “We need to divert to Delta 27, Delta 30 is under attack.” you all stopped laughing and you looked at Maria.
Z and Reggie.
You pulled yourself up and limped towards the cock pit, “What do you mean under attack?”
“I just got a message that the enemy opened fire on it, with several casualties, it’s not safe to land.”
Your heart immediately dropped, “But… I got people there… we have family, please, just… just drop me down, you don’t have to land, I can do a drop-off. Take them to 27… Please.”
Jack came up behind you, “Drop us down, they’ll need reinforcements.”
The pilot looked at you both and nodded, “Fine but just so you know you’re going back into an active combat area.” He started to turn the craft back towards your camp.
“No disrespect sir but we were just in no man’s land, this will be nothing...” you said looking at Jack, he nodded, agreeing.
You went back and knelt by Maria, taking her hand, “I need you to get in contact with Tommy and Joel. I need you to tell Joel I will be ok and I will call him as soon as I can but I needed to get Z and Reggie. Tell him…” you paused, thinking of what to tell him, “Tell him I meant my last message with everything in me and I’ll keep my promise, it’s just taking me longer, but I’ll make it back.”
She nodded and looked at you, “Promise me you’ll call me when you’re somewhere safe.”
You nodded and gripped her hand. “I promise. You get some help and stay alive until I get to you, deal?” she nodded and chuckled.
You stood and looked at Jack, “We are looking for a kid named Z and the medic here, his name is Reggie. We get them to safety first then we reinforce.”
He nodded, “Got it.”
You let out a shaky breath and looked down at the camp, explosions and smoke everywhere.
“This as close as I can get!” the pilot said. He hovered over a building, you let out the rope ladder and slid down, Jack following behind you.
“Alright, follow me, I think I know where to find Z.” you said as you headed down the stairs.
Previous chapter - Next chapter
Taglist: @vod80 , @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls
#joel x reader#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller series#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal joel miller#pedrohub#the last of us hbo#the last of us#joel tlou#tlou hbo#joel x y/n#joel x you#withallmylove
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You read my mind </3
The angst potential is actually through the roof, but so is the fluff and self discovery potential.
Like, Malleus, finally coming to terms with what triggered his overblot is suddenly confronted with another person leaving him, someone he thought would always be there. Unlike Silver, Sebek is half fae, so theoretically he could atleast live long enough to accompany Malleus. Now though, Sebek is potentially leaving? With Jamil Viper of all people. Malleus probably locks himself in his room to brood or something because I feel like after the overblot he wouldn't want to try keep Sebek chained to him. However, he does noticeably begin to act differently towards Sebek, maybe he won't want to leave if he changes? Basically, he's in turmoil.
Lillia on the other hand, can't process this. We know from Leonas overblot that sometimes Lillia is, insensitive, in how he addresses things. So I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up blurting something he'd regret. Something that indirectly blames Sebek, because Lillia thought that after he left atleast Malleus would have Sebek and Silver but now Sebek wants to leave??? It ends up with a tense atmosphere in Diasomnia and when Sebek begins to sleep over even more at Scarabia, it's too late to apologise. (Why did they never notice how many of Sebeks things were already in Scarabia, why hadn't they noticed him drifting away?)
Silver is definitely most affected. Sebek has been a constant in his life since a young age. It was a given, they'd become knights together and protect Malleus and live happily ever after. Why is it wrong? I lowkey seeing him being slightly jealous, because although Silver has other friends, Sebek was always his friend. So now that Sebek has begun to branch out, it feels wrong. Logically, he knows he should be happy for Sebek but.... he can't bring himself to do that. He's definitely the one who tries to convince Sebek the most, it probably only serves the opposite purpose as it only makes Sebek notice how little Silver understands why he'd even consider this.
Also, on an interesting note, I think Riddle would actually support Sebek to do what he wants. Riddle, due to being in the same club as Sebek has noticed how beneficial the friendship with Jamil has been for Sebek and after his overblot, he can understand why Sebek wouldn't want to follow a set path. Since childhood Riddle was forced to follow the expectations of his mother. Besides, he is fond of Sebek and finally being able to see the Sebek who isn't only focused on Malleus os a delight, he never realised Sebek was such a fan of opera. It makes Riddle reevaluate his own hobbies a bit and begin to try new things, sometimes with Sebek and Jamil sometimes with others.
The first years are divided. On one hand, being Malleus' retainer has been such a huge part of Sebeks life for so long. They could never imagine him NOT being Malleus' guard. On the other, Sebek deserves to experience the world, he deserves to choose his own future and he looks so happy when he hangs out with Jamil.
Over all, Kalim and Riddle are definitely the ones who take the news the best. Riddle because of what I said earlier. Meanwhile, Kalim, though sad to part with Jamil, understands that all things change. After the overblot, he realised keeping Jamil locked to his side would only drive them further apart. So he decides to support them fully. His conversation with Sebek only confirms his thoughts, Sebek is kind. Kalim knows Jamil wouldn't have offered if he truly didn't want Sebek to travel with him.
As for whether Dia3 make up with Sebek? It depends whether they can ever accept that Sebek has grown and changed.
:)
Jamil, immediately after graduating: Quit your job
Sebek: ???
Jamil: Travel the world with me
Two people with predetermined futures running away together to experience the world :')
But genuinely as a little thing, I think that would be so fun. Like, imagine, Jamil who has been forced to constantly be meeker and to lower himself to appease people and has always had the looming future of being a mere servant. Then we have Sebek, loud but still has that future of having to lower himself to someone.
Like, Jamil would probably hear tidbits about Sebek and the fact that their similar, like we already know that Sebek and he are both bodyguards, and despite Sebek 'liking' his future (Quotations because does he like it or is that just all he's ever known) or is he just resigned? So Jamil takes one look at Sebek and just goes 'this one, this ones mine'.
Like at some point Sebek becomes known as the honorary Scarabia first year because Jamil (I'm picturing this post his overblot) is absolutely overprotective of his first year. Like, Jamil teaches Sebek things that Sebek would've never really spent much thought on otherwise. They cook together, Sebek learns Jamils style of dance and in return Sebek teaches Jamil how to ride on horseback and introduces him to obscure operas as he begins to come out of his shell. Jamil begins to see more to Sebek than the Malleus obsessed,loud knight everyone else sees. It comes to the point that when people see one they ask where the other is (enter angst about Kalim remembering when he was like that with Jamil????)
Also, Diasomnia in all of this, they just assume it's Sebeks admiration for a senior. In the actual game, Sebek also admires Jamil, so for them, it would be a case of Sebek just thinking he found a new person to respect. They only really notice things are different when Sebeks absence makes it known. It makes itself known through the lack of a sonorous voice waking Silver up; through the lack of joyful compliments towards Malleus; through the lack of panicked flails as he tried to mitigate Lillias disasters in the kitchen. They find themselves oddly out of place without their first year, yet now, they have no idea to reach out, they can only watch as Sebek laughs in a way they've never seen before (had they ever seen him laugh so hard he snorts?)
Enter, the conversation. Personally, I think it would be after Malleus' overblot, like not even graduation. Jamil realizes not only does he want to travel the world, but he wants his friend to do so too. In the moments where everything was in limbo, Jamil regrets that Sebek has never been able to think of a future that deviates from his set path and he decides to try change that.
Whether Sebek takes that chance, is an entirely different story :)
#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#jamil viper#kalim al asim#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#silver vanrouge
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the fact that one day I’m going to fall in love with and marry someone else and he’ll be nothing more than a cute crush I had as a young girl that I laugh about… 💔
#we can never be together this has to become my future#male teacher crush#teacher crush community#teacher crush#tc feelings#tc thoughts#tc community#male tc#tc crush#teacher crush blog#teacher attachment
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I am craving for a zcx' modern au, where, after years apart, jc, wwx and lwj encounter again. lwj and wwx are married and after some time, jc starts to hang out with lwj, but only with him (they are kind of exs... Or at least so lwj thinks!)
#Like the point of this au is that shit slowly becomes harder#In every universe wwx has to watch as a kid jc losing his dogs because of him. So that wwx internalizes that he brings nothing but trouble#and pain to jc. So yeah. He's married to lwj but jc wants lwj right? He's taking another thing from jc. And wwx doesn't want to hurt jc.#But he needs lwj too. And he doesn't know how to have both things.#And in every universe jc has to be told by wwx that everything that wwx did was out of duty! So that jc internalizes the concept that wwx#never truly loved him! Because jc is unlovable just like his mom! And his bad temper will force people to act out of duty rather than#genuine affection! and that wwx will lose things for him. out of duty obv#And in the middle we have lwj. Who is pampered in different ways by two men he loves! And then he can only watch as both slowly drift apart#from him. Their worst behaviors shining.#Look. lwj knows jc and wwx worst traits. And he can manage them!#But he has never handled jc and wwx together. While they are together. Because - and lwj never understood this before - jc and wwx bring#out of each other their best and worst qualities. In particular their worst self-destructive qualities#And lwj who isn't good with words and he doesn't know why they are behaving like that - and they don't share with him their problems -#doesn't know what to do#It's a mess. A beautiful fic in my head#Like. Both jc and wwx are carrying yzu and jfm' guilt on their shoulders#jc hates how his mother treated wwx (and it was because of him! Because she was scared for jc's future! And he knows it! )#While wwx hates how jfm ignored jc (and it was because of him! Because jfm found wwx more likeable! And wwx knows it!)#zhanchengxian
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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Don't skip please,
It's urgent !!
Help Us survive the devastating GazaWar
✅ Verified campaign – please check vetteing section below 🔍
My husband Mohanad and I both worked as administrators at the Palace of Justice in Gaza.
We got engaged just two months before the war,
bought an apartment, and began dreaming of a new life together. But the war changed everything. Our workplace and apartment were destroyed, and we lost our jobs. Despite it all, we chose to move forward and got married in the middle of the war, with no wedding ceremony—just a simple union that symbolized resilience amid the devastation.
We’ve been displaced multiple times, each time facing a new eviction order and starting over again. We were forced to leave everything behind and flee with only a few belongings. The displacement was devastating, as we had to leave behind the life we built and the dreams we held for our future.
Today, we live in a small home in Al-Nuseirat, struggling to cover basic needs like food, water, and alternative electricity, facing monthly expenses we can hardly bear. Recently, a new eviction notice was issued for our area, and we don’t know what lies ahead. We’re searching for online work and have skills we can utilize, but finding opportunities has been very challenging under these conditions.
After renting the apartment in Nuseirat, we thought we had found a safe haven from the horrors of war. But on the night of 3-11-2024, explosions erupted nearby, and we never imagined one would hit our apartment. Suddenly, a missile struck; walls shook, parts collapsed, and windows shattered, leaving the room we had just been in destroyed.
We miraculously survived, but the place that once felt like a refuge had become a scene of chaos and destruction. With heavy hearts, we gathered what little remained and moved on once again, hoping to find shelter far from this endless devastation.
Vetted by @gazavetters, Number (#42) on this list
Vetted by @90-ghost in this post
Vetted by association in this post
To donate:
Any support would be a new source of hope for us.
Mohanad & farah
Update
On 28-11-2024, our home was shelled for the second time and struck by an artillery shell. We were trying to rebuild our lives amidst all the challenges, but today, our home has turned into rubble once again. 🥺🥺 The dream of safety is fading, and the suffering continues to grow. We need your support to stand on our feet again 💔💔
youtube
@90-ghost @heritageposts @gazavetters @neechees @butchniqabi @fluoresensitivearchived @khanger @autisticmudkip @beserkerjewel @xinakwans @batekush @appsa @nerdyqueerr @butchsunsetshimmer @biconicfinn @stopmotionguy @willgrahamscock @strangeauthor @bryor @shesnake @legallybrunettedotcom @lautakwah @sovietunion @evillesbianvillain @antibioware @akajustmerry @dizzymosher @ree-duh @neptunerings @explosionshark @dlxxv-vetted-donations @vague-humanoid @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @sar-soor @northgazaupdates2 @feluka-blog-blog @dirhwangdaseul @jdon @ibtisamsa @sawasawako @memingursa @schoolhater98 @toesuckler @waskvhai @a-shade-of-blue @c-u-c-koo-4-40k
#gofundme#free gaza#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#free palestine#save the children#gfm#charity#food#cars#luxury#highlights#Youtube
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Tag drop: Kafka
#tag drop#kafka: inquiries. [ apologies for interrupting your little get-together. but I’m sure once you’ve heard my request; you’ll forgive me. ]#kafka: wishes. [ if you wanna look for some fun. i won't stop you. i mean after all; elio didn't put it in the script; why would it matter?#kafka: stellaron hunters. [ we all have our own individual goals. we may work together; but we work together for our own reasons. ]#kafka: astral express. [ in pursuit of the most dangerous objects in the universe? in that sense; you and i are cut from the same cloth. ]#kafka: conflict. [ looks like we're the ones getting ambushed. / but they're the ones getting besieged. ]#kafka: nessun dorma. [ da capo. fortississimo. capriccio. recitativo. doloroso. leggiero. ]#kafka: beauty. [ beautiful things have one thing in common: fragility. the more fragile; the rarer. maybe that's what makes it precious. ]#kafka: destiny. [ that's the nature of destiny; it creates a miracle but convinces you of an accident. ]#kafka: pteruges-v. [ it was one of many planets changed by a stellaron. it's a shame i never got to witness how far it fell at the time. ]#kafka: bladie. [ … her voice was very gentle. and even the monster inside his body stayed silent to listen to her. ]#kafka: caelus. [ i called out to you and you came. you had many choices; but everything led you here. to right here and right now. ]#kafka: elio. [ there's an empty space in my mind; my heart. changing that part of myself isn't something i can do alone. he can help me. ]#kafka: silver wolf. [ ignoring the rules is something she and i have in common. ]#kafka: v. new babylon. [ i was a devil hunter. when people don't feel fear; they are dominated by desire; pleasure. they become “devils”. ]#kafka: v. present. [ we can only add one gold thread each time but eventually: we will pave the way for the future that is written. ]#kafka: v. future. [ the future is like a labyrinth: every divergence is merely an inducement. there is only one real path. ]#kafka: wishes. [ if you wanna look for some fun. i won't stop you. i mean elio didn't put it in the script; so why would it matter? ]#kafka: little notes. [ the mara's tether is in her grasp. she will not pull it before the designated time. nor shall she relinquish it. ]#[ kafka. ] we believe that existence has meaning; but that meaning is bestowed by ourselves. not by choices.#[ kafka: ic. ] like a spider in the center of her web. it has a thousand radiations; and she knows well every quiver of each of them.#[ kafka: countenance. ] destiny has thousands of faces. why does it choose to wear this one?#[ kafka: introspection. ] it started with sincerity and anticipation followed by a passionate catharsis; with one climax after another.#[ kafka: meta. ] she must have sought something extraordinary. everything she does comes at a great cost.#[ kafka: etc. ] seems i came at a bad time. / no no; i think you couldn't have timed it better. 23:47:15. very punctual; kafka.#[ kafka: bladie. ] i long for you; i who usually long without longing; really and utterly long for every bit of you. [ daybreakrising. ]#[ kafka: veritas ratio. ] does it smell of me; veritas? [ avaere. ]#[ kafka: veritas ratio. ] i believe you have fallen victim to a misconception; doctor. who says it is elio who harbors an interest in you?#[ kafka: caelus. ] everything that you love: you will eventually lose. but in the end; love will return in a different form. [ astrxlfinale#[ kafka: sam. ] you should really stop playing with your food; kafka. / i know. next time. this time… it's already too late.
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When I first joined Tumblr, I had no idea what I was walking into. There’s no manual for navigating this wild, untamed corner of the internet. My first moment here? I was greeted by an image completely naked, no warning, no explanation. It was just there, bold and unapologetic. That’s when I realized: Tumblr is a place where anything can happen.
But for all its chaos, Tumblr has become something far greater than I ever expected. For us Palestinians, this platform isn’t just a space to scroll through memes or vent about life. It’s a lifeline, a place where we’ve taken the raw, messy energy of this site and turned it into a battleground for survival. Here, we tell our stories, raise funds, and fight for our lives.
I’ve seen campaigns soar past their goals, bringing hope to families barely holding on. But I’ve also seen campaigns like mine, ones that fight tooth and nail for every single dollar, every reblog, every addition, and every ounce of hope. My family’s lives depend on this.
It hasn’t been easy. Zionists flood all Palestinian words with hate, twisting truths and spreading lies. They aim to discredit us, to make people doubt us. It’s exhausting. Some nights, I sit with my phone in my hands, wondering if this fight is too big for me. But then something beautiful happens: a donation comes through, a kind message appears, or someone I’ve never met reblogs my story with words that feel like a warm embrace.
And through it all, people are starting to see the truth. The hate doesn’t drown us; it sharpens our voices. Every day, more people step forward to stand with us, to say, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you.” It’s those moments that keep me going.
To everyone who has already helped, whether through verification, donating, wrting post , reblogging, or simply sharing a kind word: thank you. You’ve done more for my family than I could ever put into words. But the reality is, we’re not there yet. My family is still waiting for a chance to breathe, to live without fear, to fill their empty stomachs with warm food, and to wrap themselves in clothes thick enough to keep out the bitter cold. They’re hungry, they’re freezing, and I can’t do this alone.
This fight is hard, but it’s not hopeless. Strangers have become friends, and friends have become family. Some of you have shown up in ways I never imagined, treating my family’s survival as if it were your own. That kind of solidarity? It’s powerful.
Tumblr might be chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bizarre, but it’s also the place where we’ve built something extraordinary: a community that refuses to look away from injustice. With your help, we can take this fight all the way. My family’s lives are within reach, and together, I know we’ll get there.
This campaign isn’t just about me. It supports 26 people, including two orphaned children and an injured family member suffering from hemiplegia after being hit by shrapnel during a bombing. Surgery is desperately needed to replace the infected and failing plates. The needs are urgent, and the future of 26 lives depends on your support.
The video showing the injured family member is shared before in this post: Link.
Please help us ! Donate and reblog this post to spread our story.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead. Please keep the conversion rates in mind when donating through GoFundMe. Every 100 SEK is equivalent to 10 dollars, and 200 SEK equals 20 dollars and so on.
Note: There’s even a raffle for a handmade Palestinian thob if you want to participate : Link
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@emathyst9 @trasno-personal @turtles-on-turts @dendrosystem
@readingsquotes @bellybuttonblue2 @bees-fart-too @andiv3r-reblogging @sillyseer
@cloudedcari @tachycardial @evileyeamulet @pompompotato @shamemp3
@jihaad @italofobia @stealthjet @pinnyy @sivavakkiyar
@chronicowboy @bi-worm @ydic74the @amorosebeing @golvio
@dailyquests @punkitt-is-here @opencommunion @postanagramgenerator @a-scary-lack-of-common-sense
@paper-mario-wiki @prisonhannibal @a-shade-of-blue @ramshackledtrickster @punkitt-is-here
#help gaza#palestine#free palastine#free palestine#free gaza#humanity#human rights#humanitarian aid#gaza genocide#gaza#palastina#txt#txt post#txt 2024#text#yemen#lebanon#oman#iran#tumbrl
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Doting
Tags: jjk men as dads, tooth-rotting fluff, comfort drabbles
Synopsis: How the JJK men treat you while pregnant (spoiler warning- they dote on you.)
An: This is my formal apology for writing Nanami angst on the “Baby’s first words” post 😔 it will never happen again (can we stop with the death threats now?)
SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA • NANAMI
SATORU
Oh, your loving husband is all over you while you’re pregnant. He genuinely has such a cute fascination with all the changes your body is going through. He seriously thinks you’re so strong for carrying his heir.
He loves rubbing your bump. In fact, he will always be touching it in some form or fashion while you two are together. When he’s away on missions, he has you send him pictures and updates on your pregnancy as if anything major has changed in a couple of days.
You best believe he is ready to indulge you on your every craving, no matter how strange. It’s three a.m and you’re crying because you need that specific brand of chicken wings and a can of whip cream? He’s heading to the store immediately to fetch whatever you tell him to.
He genuinely worries about being a good dad. Many nights he lays his head on your bump and talks to you about how teaching didn’t come naturally to him. He wasn’t born knowing how to meet people where they’re at. He use to expect people to be able to meet him on his level. He worries that he may inadvertently put a lot of pressure on his kid, and that’s the last thing he wants due to how he was raised. He just wants his kid to be a kid.
He’s the best, most loving and compassionate dad to your baby, more than you could ever hope for. Even if teaching didn’t come to him naturally, being a father did.
SUGURU
He’s such a “sit down and let me do it for you” while you’re pregnant. He cooks, cleans, works, and tends to you completely throughout your pregnancy.
Suguru gets hyper fixated on your health during pregnancy. He only feeds you the yummiest and healthiest foods while you’re pregnant. He encourages for you to sit on the yoga ball and do (very) light exercises. He just wants the best for you and his baby.
Whenever I said he tends to you, I genuinely mean he tends to you. He’ll gently brush your hair at night time, rub your back when your belly is becoming heavy to carry around, serve your breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, carries around emesis bags and breath mints for if you get morning sickness while you two are out.
This man is the king of enforcing your boundaries to people when they don’t listen. That really annoying family member that insists on being there for the birth even though you’ve already explained to them that you want this to be an experience for just you and Geto? Yeah, he’s made it very clear to them that they will not be at the birth if they want to be in your kid’s life.
He is absolutely not afraid to hurt feelings if it means his wife and future child are safe and cared for. He really don’t give a fuck who anyone else is. You and his child are first priority.
TOJI
Toji is definitely the type to express his love and devotion for you in other ways than the most conventional methods.
He is so incredibly gentle while you’re pregnant. He doesn’t rile you up as much or play fight with you anymore. He constantly reminds himself that you’re carrying another life inside you and that you have enough on your plate.
This man… whew does he love seeing you pregnant. Toji’s the type of man to feel so feral when he looks at you heavily pregnant with his kid.
He adores your body. He’ll rub lotion all over you and oils to help your skin accommodate to the stretch of carrying a kid. He massages your body and absolutely worships it while he’s rubbing the lotion and oil on you.
Your breasts are sore? He’ll gently massage them until they feel better. Your back hurts? He’d be the type to lift your bump up and take the weight off you for as long as you ask him to so you can feel relaxed for a few minutes.
And look this is probably TMI but like, if you got a clogged milk duct due to breastfeeding, Toji would unfortunately be the type of man to fix that issue with his mouth. i’m sorry but he would.
Final thing is, you better believe that he doesn’t allow anyone to get too close to you. He is so unbelievably protective over you while you’re pregnant. If he could, he’d lock you up at home to prevent anyone from getting close to you.
SUKUNA
On the outside, he acts very nonchalant and unbothered by your pregnancy. On the inside, he is constantly plagued by the thought that your body may not be able to carry his heir. The thought of losing you or his child haunts him.
He will secretly observe and take notes on your body and how it is changing. If he catches you expressing any sort of short windedness, he will immediately send you off to bed rest. Though, you’re usually able to convince him to take you off of it by the next day.
The only servant he trusts to tend to you is Uraume. No one else in his court is allowed to be anywhere near you unless he gives specific instructions. Still, he hates leaving you in the care of Uraume. He trusts them, but he wants to be the one to take care of you.
He loves holding your body close to him at night. All four arms are wrapped around you and holding you closely. Since he doesn’t need much sleep, he will stay awake rubbing on your tummy all night long. One time, he felt the baby moving in your stomach while you were asleep. He was so intrigued that he woke you up and told you to “make them do it again”.
Now, he will randomly approach you at any given time while you’re heavily pregnant and hold his hand out so he can feel his baby moving around inside of you. It soothes his worry.
During birth, Sukuna was a complete mess. The amount of blood lost during birth fucking terrified him. He was panicking and yelling at anyone to do something to save you, even while everyone was assuring him that you’re okay and this was natural.
After 9 long excruciating months of extreme worry and constant fear, he finally feels peace when he’s cradling a newborn in his arm and a sleeping wife in the other arm. All of his hard work to protect you paid off he thinks.
NANAMI
Oh, to be pregnant by the king of domestic love himself.
Nanami is the type of man to immediately start working on a nursery for you as soon as you reveal to him that you’re pregnant. He immediately changes the guest bedroom into a nursery that you design for your little baby.
He reads up on all the parenting books and articles. He’s constantly compiling things to either do or to not do during pregnancy and even while raising a kid.
Like Geto, he tends to your every need. He is a total house husband all while working 40 hours a week. When he’s at work, he is constantly calling and texting you to make sure that you’re okay and taking care of yourself, but let’s be fr he literally did everything for you before he even left for work (meal prepped for you, set out your clothes for you, put out all your self care items in case you want to bathe).
When you express concerns of your body getting bigger to him, he does everything in his power to show you that he loves and respects your body for creating life. He literally cherishes and worships your body for hours if you let him.
Like Toji, Nanami is protective over you. He constantly has an arm around you if you two are in public, and he watches everyone who dares to get close to you like a hawk. If he gets a bad vibe about anyone, he’s immediately stepping in front of you and taking over the conversation.
Nanami is the best partner to have during birth. His reading of articles during your pregnancy really paid off. He is supportive without being overbearing. He listens to your needs and tends to you without question. Constant praise and encouragement while you’re giving birth. The moment he gets to snuggle with you and the baby is the moment he realizes that he cultivated the life of his dreams. He has the family he always wanted.
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#fanfic#drabble#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk nanami#jujutsu satoru#satoru x reader#jjk satoru#jjk suguru#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#jjk sukuna#sukuna x reader#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna#toji x you#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#nanami fluff#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk fluff#tooth rotting fluff#jjk drabbles
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I wish I was able to explain the concept of ruth a lot better bc then I could be like "this is a ruth moment" "progressing onto the next stage of the ruth arc" etc and everyone would know what I mean
#having a week+ long feud with various couriers over a missing john leyton compilation album is a certified ruth moment#i can't explain it but tis#she's so hard to explain she's my oc she's a self insert she's a prophecy she's my future self she's me in the present she's a concept she#she's basically a joke me and my sister had of a 31 year old woman who's someone's weird aunt#but she was based on a pic of me when i was 19. and then we were like that's just me in the future#and we'd say random facts about ruth based on vibes#but then so many of them came true??#a few years ago one of us was like ''i can see ruth becoming really invested in coronation street''#and look where i am now. 28 years deep into it#''ruth definitely fancies some early 60s pop singer and buys all his albums and like. her facebook photo is a pic of them together''#and like. I've never met john leyton and currently don't have any albums bc i'm having drama with royal mail atm but other than that?#''ruth has a youtube channel where she reviews and compares biscuits from different supermarkets'' is the most recent prediction#it's too recent that it is nowhere near happening yet but. it's only a matter of time#also ruth used to have two golden retrievers named lily and jasmine. but it's slowly turning into one cocker spaniel named lilyjasmine#but at this point lily and jasmine are not dogs. they are a concept. a way of life. a vibe#two matching salt and pepper containers. two moths that fly into the house. a pair of flip flops. they are all lily and jasmine#anyway#ramble#ruth vibes
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model cowboy
🌙 starring. Jeong Jaehyun x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. You maintain eye contact until the moment your lips meet, and then, you do your best to just relax, to forget about the cameras pointed at you. You allow yourself to melt into the kiss, following Jaehyun's motions, following the gentle notes that soon become more heated. His tongue swipes against your bottom lip, and on instinct, you open your mouth for him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to pull him closer. You try to convince yourself that you’re leaning into this for the sake of the scene, that you’re just being good actors together, but there’s something underneath it all. There’s a desperation. You can almost taste it below the spearmint on his tongue.
tw/cw. unprotected sex, dry humping, breast worship, slow and adequate foreplay/pussy stretching/prepping, pussy eating, fingering, praise, slight switchy power dynamic but Jae is generally the dom/top, slight overstim, face riding, slight hair pulling, precum (jae is horny), dirty talk, sappy sex, alcohol, etc… I pet names: (hers) superstar.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 13.2k
🍭 aus.actor!Jaehyun, singer!y/n, fake dating au, enemies to lovers au, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. it was actually so fun to have small clips of TMZ style gossip reporting- loved that I was able to try different things with this fic :)
Prologue
In this week's news, our favorite kids' show alumni are back on the scene together. Beloved model and actor Jung Jaehyun teams up with childhood costar (y/n) (l/n) for her new single Model Cowboy. This song will mark the kick-off of her third album, and the music video is set to start production sometime early next month, with the song coming out on iTunes and other streaming platforms sometime in the new year.
There’s a lot of buzz on social media about this pairing, as the two stars were ‘shipped’ incessantly in their teen years, with one user commenting, “It’s like Britney and Justin Timberlake all over again! Ah!!!!!”
While Jaehyun has had a string of relationships over the years, our favorite girl power singer y/n has only recently ended a long-term relationship with football player Lee Jeno. When asked how this separation would affect her new album, y/n had this to say: “I want to draw on the pain of a breakup because that feeling is so universal, but at the same time, I want the album to be fun. It’s about ending one cycle, and sure, giving yourself the space and grace to mourn that loss, but also looking forward at the future and other opportunities that come your way when you go through something like that.”
When asked about the new single Model Cowboy, y/n noted, “It’s about going back to your roots and finding that cowboy, blue-collar man. I think the trades are kind of in vogue right now, for all of the best reasons. We want salt of the earth, we want a man who will provide and take care of us- not everything is luxury and partying. There’s such peace in stability, and I want to honor the simplicity of good relationships, which we all deserve to experience.”
Despite all of this, when our reporters enquired about Jaehyun as the star of the music video, who, to us and many fans on social media, doesn’t scream ‘salt of the earth, cowboy, or stability’ our singer simply responded with “No comment.”
Yikes.
However, there may be hope for this fan-favorite couple yet. When Jaehyun was asked about his role in the music video at a recent film premiere for his new action movie ‘Home Grown’ he had this to say: “I did a few music videos in my early twenties, but never with anyone I really knew or admired. I’ve been focused on movies and fashion recently, but I’m excited to do a shorter-form art piece. y/n and her team are very creative, and I can’t wait to see the finished result.”
I can safely say that we can’t wait either.
Back when y/n was just eighteen, putting out her first album, there was one song that everyone thought she wrote about Jaehyun. We couldn’t help but bring this up to the actor. When questioned if he’d inspired y/n’s first hit single, ‘Forget About Him’, Jaehyun said, “That’s not for me to say, you’ll have to ask her.” This response revived years of conspiracy on social media, and we’re all still itching for the truth.
Production for Model Cowboy is set for the end of the month, and permits have been granted for shooting in California’s Joshua Tree National Park. We’ll all be on the edge of our seats waiting for promo pictures and behind-the-scenes photos.
Stay tuned for all things celebrity drama and news on our website, or follow us on Instagram and Snapchat for daily updates.
One:
You’re in your trailer with your assistant, Mark, waiting for your call time, and you can’t help the irritation that’s filling you. It’s the first day of shooting for Model Cowboy, and every other time you’ve filmed a music video, you’ve been excited about the creative journey of turning a song into a visual expression- but not today, and there’s one huge reason for your angst.
“I still can’t believe this is happening,” you groan. “Jaehyun wasn’t my first choice for this, and he’ll never be my first choice for this- it takes away from the meaning of the song to have him starring with me!”
Mark frowns. “I mean, he’s not exactly a model cowboy-”
“More like a model pretending to be a cowboy,” you scoff.
Your assistant sighs. “Management just wants you two to do this, fake date for a while, promote your music and his upcoming projects, draw intrigue-”
“I know it’s what management wants, I was forced to sign the contract,” you snap. Then you release a breath, getting control of yourself. This isn’t Mark’s fault, in fact, he argued your side in the meeting about this two months ago. “I just… I’m not a huge fan of Jaehyun.”
“You always said he was the most overly confident, smug, pretty boy that came out of your kids’ show,” Mark nods. He’s very good at summing up your difficulties, as he’s your most trusted confidant. You’d never dream of being vocal about your personal opinions of Jaehyun to anyone else, your PR training has taught you not to be fully honest, to prioritize your reputation as a ‘good girl’- but Mark, he gets you.
“At the end of the day,” you sigh, “sure, Jae might be a better actor, but I’m the better singer.”
“I know you won’t want to hear this-”
“Then don’t say it.”
Mark sends you a pointed look. “He did do that cover of ‘I Like Me Better When I’m With You,’ and everyone loved it.”
“Well, Jaehyun doesn’t have three albums and a Grammy. He did a cover. It’s not like that’s difficult.”
Before Mark can say anything else, there’s a knock on your trailer. You jump up, ready to start the day of shooting, but when you open your door, it’s not a PA standing there to take you to location, it’s Jaehyun.
He’s dressed in a cowboy-style outfit, however, it’s more runway than practical, and he’s also wearing the same smug smile he always used to have on when you were working together as kids and young adults.
“Long time no see,” Jaehyun muses.
You roll your eyes. “Don’t pretend you’re happy to see me.”
You know your dislike for Jaehyun is shared with his own disdain for you, and you’d noted that to your managers. How are either of you going to pretend to be in love when this general dissatisfaction with each other is evident every time you’re in the same room?
“Thought I’d come to discuss the whole fake dating script with you, you know, kind of like running lines.”
“There aren’t any lines for our fake dating scenario yet, it’s improv,” you remind him.
“Then, how about boundaries?”
You release a groan. “Fuck it, let’s go find my PA, get in a car to go to location, and we can talk during the drive.”
Two:
There’s a tension in the SUV. With you on his left, your assistant behind you, and Jaehyun’s own manager, Johnny, behind him, everything anyone says will be noted. In fact, Jaehyun’s been listening to Johnny argue on the phone about a brand deal for the past ten minutes.
You’d said you’d discuss the whole fake dating thing, but instead, your eyes are glued to your iPad as you look over the music video notes.
Jaehyun has always found you to be a very focused woman, he might go so far as to say you have a stick up your ass. Your rigidity is a stark contrast to his own ‘go with the flow’ type of way of doing things, and it’s one of the reasons you’d never gotten along well on sets.
When he’d come to your trailer to discuss PR lines, it had been because he was trying to meet you where you’re at. He thought you’d want to plan. In fact, he’d found it almost laughable when you’d told him it would be improv because out of the two of you, he’s the one that’s always excelled in that area.
You have this face you put on for others, but Jaehyun’s always seen through it. You lack confidence in yourself, and that’s why you overcompensate by being anal about details, about practicing so you never fail when the time comes.
Jaehyun leans closer to you, getting a look at the music video notes. The aesthetic board is very desert, horses, sand, sparkles, disco balls, and mirrors- for someone who said Model Cowboy was about finding someone who wasn’t all luxury, there are definitely luxury items in the music video notes.
“So… tell me again what the song’s about?” Jaehyun asks.
You sigh. “Mark sent you a sound clip, didn’t he? Did you even bother to listen to the song?”
“Yeah,” Jaehyun shrugs, “but I wanted to hear the details from you.”
You take an exasperated deep breath, putting your iPad down on your lap. “It’s about falling in love with someone who’s very salt of the Earth-”
“What do you mean by that?”
Your lips part in shock and annoyance. “It means a man who’s salt of the Earth.”
“Yeah, you said that, but like…” Jaehyun lets out a small laugh at how bad you’re fumbling this, “what does that mean, to you.”
Mark shifts in the seat behind you, leaning forward to join the conversation. “It means someone who is honest, and reasonable. Someone who doesn’t think they’re special or better than others.”
You flash Jaehyun a pointed look. “So basically, not you.”
Jaehyun chuckles. “Baby, neither of us are salt of the earth if that’s your definition.”
He can see how annoyed you are, can pick up the micro movements, the way your fingers are tapping on the edge of the iPad. It’s a rhythmic thing, something you do to calm yourself, and he’d noticed that pattern in you when you were much younger.
“This whole fake dating thing was not my idea,” you snap finally.
“Yeah, wasn’t mine either. We both have PR managers.”
You roll your eyes, letting out another exasperated sound of annoyance.
Jaehyun kind of likes poking at you like this. He’d been worried that you’d be super anal about this whole project, and while you’re definitely fighting for control, he likes to jab you where your guard is down. It feels like a win to him, and deep in Jaehyun’s core, he knows it’s not a nice thing to do, but he simply can’t help himself.
You have a history, years of interactions and bickering- he hasn’t seen you in a long time, but getting on your nerves is as easy as it’s always been, and that schoolboy enjoyment from picking on you is as potent as it ever was.
Three:
You’re a couple of hours into your day, and you’re doing some shots with horses now. You’d chosen Hwasa as your director, she’s a visionary in the type of aesthetic you want, and you’ve worked with her numerous times before. She’s very girl power, which is what you love, and you also enjoy the fact that she sees this as a collaboration.
You’ve worked with male directors in the past who think your music video is about showing their vision, and in your early days as a teen, you hadn’t been able to find your voice. Now, as an adult, you have the final say on everything, and Hwasa is the best partner you could think of for a project like this.
The two of you are by the cameras, making sure the shot will be good. The horses are just hanging out with their trainers, and Jaehyun’s a few meters away under the sun tent, waiting for direction.
“So… I’m thinking…” you look at Jaehyun, then at the saddles on the horses, “What if we try a shot with bareback.”
Hwasa casts you a sideways glance. “I mean… visually, I think that would be nicer, it would encapsulate freedom, but at the same time… is Jaehyun skilled enough to mount while bareback?”
“He’s an actor isn’t he?” You turn to look at Jaehyun. God, you can’t wait for him to fall off the horse and eat shit. “Jae!”
He’s sitting in a chair, his head tipped back, cowboy hat obscuring his face. The sound of your voice makes him sit up, his fingers pushing the rim of the hat up so he can look at you.
“Come over here!” Hwasa calls.
He nods, standing then swaggering over to you. He’s having way too much fun in his little cowboy outfit for your liking. “What’s up?”
“How do you feel about trying this scene on bareback?” Hwasa asks.
Jaehyun looks at the two of you, then over at the horse. “We can give it a go.”
You try to hide your smile, God, this is going to be so satisfying.
Hwasa goes to consult with the safety guys and trainers, who take off the saddle, then talk Jaehyun through how to mount a horse without the aid of stirrups. He nods nonchalantly, as smug as ever.
The scene gets ready, with you and Hwasa behind the camera. “Action!” she calls.
Jaehyun approaches the horse. He stops next to it, stroking it’s hair. You watch him get a gentle grip, and then, in one fluid motion, he hoists himself up, swinging his leg over the horse’s back before steadying himself into a seated position. He guides the horse by its hair to make a neat circle, looking like the most skilled cowboy ever, then he turns and flashes you that smug smile of his as Hwasa yells “cut!”
“That was amazing,” Hwasa tells you. “God, Jaehyun was such a good choice for this.”
“Really? How so?” you ask.
“Just, I know he’s not a stereotypical salt of the earth man. He’s not all American, he’s not a cowboy with a five o'clock shadow- this… dichotomy of visuals versus lyrical interpretation, how any man can be the right man if given the chance, despite all these stereotypes-”
You can feel your expression fall. Sometimes you hate how artsy Hwasa is, with her bachelor's in English and her way with words and interpretations. You can’t argue with her analysis, because if that’s what she gets out of the visual of Jaehyun flawlessly mounting a horse bareback, then that’s her view of it.
“Do you want to try to mount bareback too?” Hwasa asks, drawing herself out of her musings to focus on the scenes she wants in the time allotted.
You release a sigh. “I guess we can give it a try.”
“If it’s too dangerous-”
“If Jae can do it, I can too,” you insist, not wanting to be one-upped by him.
You’re in a long flowy silver dress with a slit up the thigh, and you remove your white overcoat. Jenni, your makeup artist double-checks you, and you’re handed your flashy disco-ball-styled cowboy hat.
The safety team and trainers give you a talk about how to mount the horse, and after listening carefully, you feel ready to take on the task.
Your horse is black, and your outfit is meant to be a contrast. It’s a beautiful horse, and when Hwasa calls ‘Action!’ you approach it carefully. You can feel your heart racing in your chest, and you stop next to the large animal, stroking it for a moment while you gain the courage to try to mount it.
As you make the leap, hoisting yourself up- Jaehyun calls out, “Don’t slip!”
And of course, that’s exactly what happens. Your leg can’t get a grip over the horse, you trip up a little with the silky material of your dress, and just like that, you’re back on the ground with two feet, sending a death glare over your shoulder at Jaehyun.
“It was a nice effort!” Hwasa encourages you.
“Not many people get it on their first try,” a trainer agrees.
You watch Jaehyun smile smugly, and an annoyance unlike any you’ve ever experienced fills you as he meticulously watches you try to complete the scene.
Four:
It’s near the end of your first day of filming. Hwasa had decided on a one day permit for the horses in the desert, opting to get all the scenes involving the large, beautiful animals done in one big go, and now, she’s explaining the final shots she needs to you and Jaehyun.
“So, we’re skipping through the linear timeline a little right now,” your director explains. “This is one of the final shots of the music video, so we’re going to imagine that at this point, the two of you are completely in love.” You and Jaehyun exchange a look. “You’re riding on horseback in the desert. We want bliss, joy, a comfortable kind of peace that comes when you can truly be yourself with another person, a freedom.”
She gazes pointedly at you and Jaehyun.
“I think we can manage,” you scene partner says, but there’s an edge of hesitation in his voice.
“We’re thinking ‘Ride’ by Lana Del Rey, but instead of motorcycles, you’re on horses. Think about how effortless she looked, how devil-may-care,” Hwasa, ever the Lana Del Rey enthusiast, explains. “You know her song ‘Young and Beautiful?’ There’s a line, ‘Hot summer nights, mid July, when you and I were forever wild.’ Do you guys have that?”
You love that Hwasa enjoys poetic music, it’s one of the reasons you’d been so drawn to her when you wanted to shift out of your role as a child star turned pop icon. Hwasa had been adamant about the Lana Del Rey stylings that she wanted to influence ‘Model Cowboy,’ the American Dream, wild and poetic love.
However, with all that said, you’d never imagined Lana Del Rey would be tainted by the imaginings of Jaehyun as your lover, and it leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
You’ve already gone over blocking, and Hwasa’s explained the drones and cameras set up to take the shots, so now, all that’s left to do, is get through the day.
Jaehyun can tell you’re lost in thought, he can see the dissatisfied look on your face, but before he can call you on it, Johnny pulls him to the side.
“Good luck with this one,” Johnny muses, patting him on the shoulder. “And don’t fall off your horse, you’ve got to be in Milan in a couple of days for the big Prada show.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jaehyun brushes his manager off. “I’ve got this.”
“That’s my little go-getter actor,” Johnny grins, having scored a goldmine when he landed Jaehyun as his client, despite being a very young and new manager in the industry. “Be the Model Cowboy you always wanted to be.”
Jaehyun takes a deep breath before joining you. “You ready?” he asks.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you sigh.
“Okay guys, we’re in love!” Hwasa bellows. “We’ve got this! And… action!”
Your expression immediately changes, suddenly, you’re grinning, in fact, you’re glowing. It takes a second for Jaehyun to follow your lead, but then, the two of you are playfighting and tickling, laughing like young lovers who are tasting what it feels like to have found their soulmate for the very first time.
Jaehyun knows the blocking, he knows when to wrap his arms around you after a few feet of chasing, when to lift you up and spin you as you laugh and gently kick. He knows when to set you down, going in for a kiss only for you to break free and dart to your horse, effortlessly swinging yourself up onto the black stallion and taking off.
Jaehyun is right behind you, mounting his own white horse and following.
He does his best to keep an easy going, loving expression, and at first, it’s a little difficult. But, as more seconds of the two of you riding through the desert go by, Jaehyun remembers the way he felt about you when you first met.
You’d been just kids then. Two young teens still growing into your bodies, into your personalities. He remembers how beautiful you’d been, even then, how your smile had lit up the room, as it does now when you turn your head to look over your shoulder at him, making sure the distance between you is still correct.
Of course it’s correct, if you want to be anal, Jaehyun can be anal too, and he’s not going to give you any reason to nitpick after the day he’s had.
No, Jaehyun’s an actor. He’s a professional.
In fact, he’s a Model Cowboy as he chases you through the desert on horseback.
God, the way you’re looking back at him- you’ve really grown into your looks, and Jaehyun’s not making things up when he says you’re glowing. The golden hour sun is hitting you just right, and suddenly, Jaehyun’s heart is racing. He feels alive, he feels- as if this whole thing is real. He forgets the cameras for just a few moments, getting lost in the experience of being young, wild, and free, with you.
Something shifts inside of him, although, Jaehyun’s so enthralled with you that he can’t quite pin what’s just taken place.
The scene is over all too quickly, the two of you making your blocking mark at the bottom of one of the rocky cliff faces that litter Joshua Tree National Park. You slow your horse, coming to a stop, your expression falling.
Jaehyun feels his own smile drop as he stops next to you. He swallows thickly, not knowing quite what to say, so, he decides to note, “Wow, your acting has really improved!”
He means it as a compliment, but your expression turns even more sour, and he knows he’s messed up.
“Well that’s a back handed compliment if I’ve ever heard one,” you scowl.
“I-” Jaehyun’s words get caught in his throat, and he has to swallow a lump just to continue, “I meant it in a good way, I was trying to be nice.”
“If that was you trying to be nice, it makes sense why you can’t keep a girlfriend for more than a month or so,” you snap.
Jaehyun’s chest hurts, and he stares at you in shock. It’s all the more painful, because in some ways, what you’ve just said is true. He’s used to only dating models, people in the industry who aren’t as successful as he is. He’s only ever entered relationships where there’s a power imbalance, and he supposes in a situation like that, any negative feedback could be biting- yet, it’s different with you.
You’re the one with the power here, and it’s clear you won’t take any criticisms from him. You stand up for yourself, in a way no woman ever has around Jaehyun.
As he watches you lead your horse away, signaling the end of the interaction, Jaehyun realizes maybe he kind of likes that you’re very powerful in your own right. Maybe he likes a woman who can defend herself and doesn’t just take what the world throws at her.
Maybe… just maybe, after all this time, he likes you.
Five:
The locations crew had found a really cool oldstyle cowboy motel for everyone to stay at. It had been relatively inexpensive compared to other filming location lodgings in the past, and renting the whole place, including the mess hall, for four days had been the obvious choice.
You’re sitting with Mark and Hwasa, all three of you have trays of food from the buffet, but none of you are focused on eating. Hwasa has her iPad out, and she’s going through the shots of the day with Mark. You remind yourself when you peak at the screen that there’s still a lot of editing to do, but so far, it’s looking quite good.
Your stylist, Jenni, is also with you, and she’s capturing the majority of your attention as she shows you pictures of the costumes set for tomorrow. Your long silver dress is being swapped out for a pink palette upscale cowgirl aesthetic, with Jaehyun in creams and blues to match the lighter blush colours.
You notice Jaehyun walk into the large dining area. He and his manager, Johnny, head straight for the food, and they tilt their heads together, thick as thieves out of ear shot.
When they’re done filling their trays, they begin to head to a table, and that’s when Hwasa calls them over. “Rough shots,” she explains. “Jae, you sit next to y/n and I’ll show you both some of the details.”
You flash Jenni a look, hating that she has to move over for the model to sit.
Jaehyun is awkward as he does so, apologizing to Jenni, which is his only saving grace.
When he settles, your shoulders are touching, and he leans closer to get a look at the iPad that Hwasa is holding. Hwasa doesn’t show all the shots, just her favourites, and you have to admit, the visuals are stunning even before any editing for light and colour.
Then, Hwasa shows you all the footage from the last scene you’d shot, the one with you and Jaehyun playfighting then leaping on horses.
“This is so good,” Hwasa tells you. “You both look so natural on horses, the drone shots are perfect, and the golden hour? Stunning.”
While all of that is true, you’re more focused on how in love you and Jaehyun look. It’s weird to be seeing you and Jaehyun like this. It’s almost out of body, or doppleganger realm, because how the heck did you manage to look so happy and in love with Jeong Jaehyun of all people?
You feel the actor shift next to you, and you get the sense that he’s uncomfortable with it as well… however, out of the two of you, he has way more experience on screen. You guess you shouldn’t be shocked that he looks very much in love, he gets paid big money to sell those emotions.
“Anyways,” Hwasa sighs, “y/n, tomorrow morning, we shoot sunrise and into the afternoon, then Jaehyun, the latter half of the day is us at the ranch for some more ‘classic’ cowboy scenes.”
“Sounds good,” Jaehyun mumbles. With one last nod of appreciation, he stands up, and it’s as if he can’t get to another table fast enough.
Six:
They’ve been shooting Jaehyun’s cowboy scenes for a couple of hours when he notices your arrival on set. You’re not in the pink costume he’d heard about you wearing this morning, and you’re not all dolled up either.
You’re in a light jacket and jean shorts, a more relaxed look, and yet, you’re still stunning.
You’re next to Hwasa, looking at camera angles and shots, and while you seem to be making a few notes to the director, Jaehyun appreciates that you aren’t trying to micromanage him yourself.
Shooting continues for another hour, and Hwasa calls a short break so she can figure out what else needs to be done today while they have the ranch.
At first, Jaehyun just goes and grabs a water. Johnny is hyping him up, but the actor is hardly paying attention, his gaze focused on you instead.
Jaehyun can’t help himself, he walks over to you. You look up from Hwasa like a deer in headlights, and something about it is very endearing. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, can I uh… talk to you for a sec?” Jaehyun asks.
“You know what? Yeah, that’s a good idea,” you nod, “come with me.”
You grab his arm, dragging him away. Jaehyun’s a little confused as to where you’re taking him, and when he finds himself in the privacy of a secluded location behind his trailer, he’s even more confounded.
“Uh….” he starts, wetting his lips.
“What did you need?”
“I was just… guess I was wondering what you were doing here? Didn’t your shoot finish a couple of hours ago? Figured you’d be getting some rest at the motel.”
“It’s my music video,” you remind him. “Also… management thought it would be good to let tabloids get some shots of us shooting today, that’s why I pulled you over here, we allowed them the field of view to your trailer.”
“So that’s why you took me to such a secluded spot,” Jaehyun grins.
“It’s the only reason I touched your arm,” you retort.
“Careful, don’t look so angry,” Jaehyun warns you, his hands reaching out to grab your hips and pull you closer. “Wouldn’t want to mess up your tabloid shots.”
You roll your eyes. “Tabloid won’t be on the property till after your last take in an hour or so. Don’t jump the gun, cowboy. After your next scene, you can be as much of a little model slut as you’d like.”
“You think I’m a slut?” Jaehyun asks, shocked that you’re talking to him in this way.
“Am I wrong?”
Jaehyun stands there for a moment, and then, he releases his grip on your hips. “Guess not.”
“So, after you’re done the next scene, we come here, and see if we can pretend to like each other,” you instruct.
“We just have to be as convincing as we were yesterday,” Jaehyun muses.
You open your mouth to respond, but then you shut it, and Jaehyun’s left wondering what you would have said for the next hour.
He wonders how far you’ll let him take things, and part of him wishes you’d answered his question about boundaries yesterday. This feels like uncharted waters, and his heart is racing when he finally meets you behind his trailer again.
“Okay,” you sigh. “Do your worst.”
Jaehyun feels himself begin to salivate, and he swallows thickly. There’s no way he’ll do his worst. His worst, would be throwing you against the trailer and having his way with you right here and now- asserting his dominance and seeing if you push back in any way- he suspects you like him more than you let on, after all, Jaehyun’s never met a girl he couldn’t tame.
Life’s hard when you have a stunning face and a hot body to match.
Jaehyun reaches for your hips, pulling you closer. His skin is tingling with excitement. “I’m going to say something funny, and you should laugh,” he whispers.
You grin broadly, but the expression doesn’t meet your eyes. “Depends on if what you say is funny or not,” you counter.
Jaehyun’s mind suddenly goes blank. His pick-up lines, his jokes- they all fly out the proverbial window. He doesn’t know what to say, so instead, he begins to lean in-
You turn your head at the last second and Jaehyun’s lips graze past your cheek. He’s a little taken aback at first, but he leans into it, reminding himself that you’d told him to improv. “Is this okay?” he whispers in your ear, still wanting to double-check with you although every fiber of his being is telling him to just do what he wants.
“It’s okay,” you respond, wrapping your arms loosely around the back of his neck. “You’re the actor.”
For some reason, it feels like a compliment that you’re making the distinction between the two of you. You’re right, he’s the actor, and you’re the Grammy award-winning singer.
His lips continue softly on your cheek, and then he adjusts, pressing kisses down to your throat. You shift in his embrace, tilting your head to the side to give him more access.
“Jae-” you warn.
“Just a few more, for the tabloids,” he whispers, nuzzling into your neck moreso than kissing now.
You release a sigh, and with your chests pressed together, Jaehyun can feel your heart racing.
He wonders if you can feel his going a mile a minute too.
Seven:
You eat in your room with Mark, too shaken up by your interaction with Jaehyun earlier to dare enter the mess hall yourself.
“So, I was just sent the tabloid pictures for final approval,” Mark sighs, joining you on the bed so you can see his phone. “They’ll be up in the morning.”
“Just choose your favourites,” you murmur.
“Uh…” Mark blinks at you. “I really think you should look at them with me.”
You take a deep breath. “Fine.”
Shifting your gaze to Mark’s phone, he scrolls through the shots, and you hate how natural they look. You and Jaehyun just look good together, and it sets your teeth on edge.
“The cheek kissing is cute,” Mark says thoughtfully. “The way you’re holding each other looks real.”
It looks too real, in fact.
“I’m just happy we have opposing shoot schedules tomorrow,” you admit with another deep breath. You can see Mark side-eying you, and you hold up a hand before he can respond. “Don’t say a word.”
“It’s just…” Mark struggles at times to surpass your commands. He’s your assistant first and foremost, but your company also expects him to have somewhat of a managerial role over you, and you know it’s a fight for him to find balance at times. “Everyone has shipped the two of you since you were younger. People say it’s like Britney and Justin in the Mickey Mouse Club House show- then you were teenagers, and you went different directions-”
“Well, Britney and Justin didn’t end up together, did they?” It’s a rhetorical question, and from the way Mark sighs, he knows it.
“You’re missing the point,” he struggles.
You turn your gaze to him. “Am I?”
Mark releases a breath, dropping the issue. You feel bad shutting him down like this, but at the same time, you don’t want to open the can of ‘Jaehyun’ worms, if you will. No, you’d much rather ignore it for right now.
You’re filming a music video for your new album, and you have much bigger fish to fry.
Eight:
If Jaehyun wasn’t needed for business calls with Johnny today, he might be on set watching you, and Jaehyun can’t get it out of his head as he chills in his motel room and listens to his manager working.
It’s three hours into calls and details before Johnny is able to take a break, and he sets down his phone with a pointed look on his face. “You’re being weird.”
“Am I?” Jaehyun lets out a small laugh, but there’s little humor in it.
“Talk to me,” Johnny says lightly, giving an air of friendship despite the fact that he’s still in his role as manager. “Talk to me about this whole PR, fake dating thing.”
Jaehyun shrugs. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Those fake tabloid pictures of you and y/n from yesterday on set dropped an hour ago, they’re trending on Twitter,” Johnny points out.
“It’s called ‘X’ now, actually.”
Johnny narrows his eyes. “I’m never going to call it ‘X.’ It’s fucking Twitter.”
Jaehyun can’t help but laugh, for real this time. He loves Johnny, loves him for all of his little millennial quirks.
“Honestly?” Jaehyun sighs, feeling his energy sift again. “Y/N’s super uptight, but… she can act like she’s not, and that’s a different side of her that I wasn’t really expecting.”
Johnny is quiet for a few moments. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.”
“That song from her first album, ‘Forget About Him,’ was that written about you? Is there a past here?”
“Nah, it wasn’t about me,” Jaehyun assures his manager. “As far as I know, she’s never been interested in me like that. We had this other costar, Haechan-”
“Lee Donghyuck?”
“Yeah, him. They uh, I think there was something there between them, for a little while at least.”
Jaehyun can feel Johnny’s assessing gaze, and he averts his own eyes.
“It almost seems like you’re jealous, Jae.”
“Yeah, well, Haechan never went on to become a brand ambassador for Prada or star in movies, he was just some little child star.” Jaehyun can taste the bitterness in his words, but he can’t help himself.
“You know who’s not just a child star?” Johnny asks. “Y/N. You two are, without argument, the most successful people to come out of the show you were in when you were younger.”
“We’re both very driven,” Jaehyun admits. “I do admire that about her, she has a Grammy for fucks sake.”
“What I’m getting from this,” Johnny concludes, “is that you’re completely fine with this whole fake dating arrangement.”
“Well, as my manager, you should know I’m a good actor,” Jaehyun counters.
Johnny laughs. “Sure you are. Tomorrow is the last day of shooting, you’ve got that big kissing scene, I guess we’ll all see how good of an actor you are then.”
Nine:
There’s something comical about the fact that both you and Jaehyun are chewing gum in preparation for your kissing scene. Together, you’re with Hwasa as she goes over the vision for the shot.
“So, we’re thinking Jae’s going to grab your neck,” Hwasa starts, “gently, of course. More of a cupping the nape of your neck than a grab, actually. It’s going to be slow, a slow exploration of moving closer. Lots of close-ups of the two of you gazing into each other’s eyes. It’s about breaking the distance, about two worlds colliding and connecting in a way that feels natural, unrushed, and just, electric.”
Jaehyun nods, looking at you. “We can do this.” You wish you were as sure as he sounds right now.
Jaehyun takes out a tissue, and the two of you spit out your gum, disposing the trash before moving into position.
The shot is on the edge of a cliff, with the desert and sunset stretching out like a vast, yellowy-orange ocean behind you.
It’s as you approach your marked spot that you remember something. “Jae,” you ask softly, “are you still afraid of heights?”
You watch him take a deep breath, and he nods, standing a few feet from the drop-off. You notice he’s looking everywhere but down, and something inside of you softens for him.
Here you are, worried about the kiss, and here this man is, worried about falling off the edge of a cliff and dying.
“We’ve got some space between us and the edge,” you tell him, stepping closer. “Here, grab my hips, we’re both steady, we’re not going to fall.”
Jaehyun’s lips part, and you can see the confusion on his face.
You suppose you’ve never been nurturing to him, but you can’t help yourself with this. You don’t mean to be a bitch, in fact, you’d argue adamantly that you’re not a malicious person. Jaehyun just pisses you off a lot, and his behavior generally merits a reaction- but right now, he deserves a bit of peace of mind, and you can see him relax a little as his hands grab your waist.
“Feels more steady?” you double-check.
“Yeah.” He swallows thickly, nodding.
“We’ve got this,” you assure him.
“Are we ready!?” Hwasa calls.
You flash a thumbs up, turning your attention back to Jaehyun.
“And… action!”
The two of you simply stare at each other for a moment. Hwasa had said she wanted this to be slow. You’re shocked at how exposed you feel looking up into Jaehyun’s eyes. He really is a very handsome man, and he looks so extremely vulnerable right now.
His gaze shifts to your lips, and you allow him to take the lead. One of his hands moves up your body, cupping the back of your neck gently. You can smell the spearmint on his breath, as he moves closer.
You maintain eye contact until the moment your lips meet, and then, you do your best to just relax, to forget about the cameras pointed at you. You allow yourself to melt into the kiss, following Jaehyun’s motions, following the gentle notes that soon become more heated.
His tongue swipes against your bottom lip, and on instinct, you open your mouth for him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to pull him closer.
You try to convince yourself that you’re leaning into this for the sake of the scene, that you’re just being good actors together, but there’s something underneath it all. There’s a desperation. You can almost taste it below the spearmint on his tongue.
It feels good to be kissing Jaehyun, and the realization makes you break the kiss, opening your eyes and blinking in an effort to get yourself out of the daze that’s come over you.
“That was amazing!” Hwasa’s voice is like a slap. “I’ve got some shots, but I’ll need you guys to do it one more time.”
Jesus.
“You good?” Jaehyun asks.
You nod, swallowing thickly. “Let’s just go again.”
You’re kissing him again all too soon, and this time, it’s like fireworks. Your heart is racing in your chest, your skin electrified as you cling to Jaehyun, diving deeper into the feeling of him.
This time, he’s the one to break the kiss, and he looks away immediately. You notice him breathing heavily, but before you can say anything, Hwasa’s approaching again.
“Okay, that was amazing, and I hate to be that person, but I’ve decided I want drone shots too, so… third time is the charm?” She looks between you and Jaehyun and both of you are quick to nod, although, neither of you has yet found your voice.
“You good?” you ask him as Hwasa goes back to her spot, her main drone lifting into the sky with an electric thrum.
“Yeah, just one more,” Jaehyun says, voice wavering.
The two of you get back into position, and you study Jaehyun carefully. You’re looking at him, truly looking at him, and he’s looking at you with the same fierceness. You can tell something has shifted between the two of you, but at this time, you’re unsure how deep it really is.
He kisses you again on Hwasa’s direction, and you wonder how normal it is to feel this way during a kissing scene with a fellow acting partner.
You’ve never had to do this before, but you know Jaehyun has. He’s been in two or three rom-coms, there must be a way to stay professional after kissing a costar, right?
But God, he still feels so good.
You’d thought - or maybe hoped - that the first kiss would be a one-off. That the second wouldn’t be as great, and by now, maybe the butterflies would have escaped the cage in your tummy, but no, the feeling surging through you is as powerful and electric as it had been with the first meeting of your lips.
He leaves you breathless.
Standing on the edge of the cliff with Jaehyun, you realize you’re in deep shit.
Ten:
Jaehyun notices you in the mess hall. You’re looking over food, plating up your dinner, and he decides now is as good a time as any to talk to you.
He doesn’t mean to be a quiet, sneaky sort of guy, but he can’t help the lightness of his walk. When he goes to stand next to you, saying “Hi,” you practically jump, your food stray scrambling a little as you compose yourself.
“Jesus,” you cuss. “You scared me!”
“Sorry,” he apologizes sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “So… uh, the shoot is over, I head to Milan tomorrow-”
“Yup, I know your schedule,” you nod, sighing. “It’s in our contract that I come to your show and be front row to watch you, remember?”
“Right, yeah.” Jaehyun swallows thickly. “So… reporters are going to be asking a lot of questions about us.”
“Uh huh, that was the point of the paparazzi pics.” You continue filling your tray with food, so unbothered and cool in your movements that it makes Jaehyun’s heart beat faster. Are you unaffected by your kiss from earlier? Because Jaehyun can’t get the feeling of your lips out of his mind.
“I just uh, wanted to say, you can trust me to give the right answers and stuff. I’m PR trained.”
God, Jaehyun wants to strangle himself. He feels so nervous, and the look you give him tells him that you think he’s being a dork. He’s definitely being a dork-
“Okay?” you laugh. “I’m PR trained too, we both took classes when we were kids, remember?”
“Right,” he’s such an idiot, “yeah. Anyways, I guess… I guess I’ll see you in Milan in a couple of days.”
“Sounds good.”
With one final nod, Jaehyun leaves you be, and he beats himself up about the awkwardness of the conversation for the rest of the night.
Eleven:
In this week's news, our favourite kids’ show alumni were spotted getting close on set. y/n’s new music video, Model Cowboy, is set to be one of the videos of the summer, starring Prada ambassador Jung Jaehyun. The two have a long history, and while there have been rumors about their romantic connection in the past, nothing has ever been confirmed… until now.
TMZ dropped a photo of the two embracing outside Jaehyun’s trailer, and the internet officially broke. #modelcowboy has been going absolutely wild on X. One user wrote: “all my dreams are finally coming true! Thank you mama e papa!” While another took to X to say this: “At first, I didn’t love Jaehyun as the whole ‘model cowboy’ trope. He just doesn’t fit it for me. But I don’t know, something about the pictures of him and y/n just feels right- guess you don’t need a history as a rancher to be a cowboy, he’s definitely lassoed my heart.“
So far, the general consensus around our new ‘It Couple’ is that it’s been a long time coming. While there’s no official confirmation about their relationship, one of our reporters caught Jaehyun after a show in Milan last night. When asked about their time shooting the music video together, the actor/Prada ambassador had this to say about y/n: “She was amazing. The whole experience [filming Model Cowboy] went without a hitch. She’s super talented, one of the most driven women I know, and I can’t wait to see how this music video pans out for her.”
When asked about the pictures of the two of them that have been trending, Jaehyun said: “I mean, she’s beautiful, she’s an icon- who wouldn’t want a chance with her?” When the reporter clarified by asking if they’re dating, Jaehyun noted, “You’ll have to ask y/n, I’d never be ‘that’ guy who would speak for a powerful woman like her.”
All we can say is damn, that’s a green flag if we’ve ever seen one.
Stay tuned for all things celebrity drama and news on our website, or follow us on Instagram and Snapchat for daily updates.
Twelve:
There’s nothing like the closing night of a show. Jaehyun feels elated, he feels on the top of his game, like nothing could bring him down.
“You were amazing,” another model tells him, fluffing her hair up with her hand as the two of them decompress backstage.
“You were amazing, Vivienne,” he retorts, never feeling more giddy and boyish than he does now.
“I’m good, but I’m not model of the year good,” she grins.
“You’re still new,” Jaehyun assures her, although, pride is swelling through him.
He sees her skin flush, her eye lashes fluttering at him-
“Jae?” your voice draws him out of his assessment of Vivienne, and he turns in shock to find you standing there.
You look stunning, your stylist team has really outdone themselves with your looks for the past couple of days- but there’s a sour set to your lips that immediately tells him something is wrong.
“Y/N?” he asks.
“Am I… interrupting something?” your gaze shifts to Vivienne, and Jaehyun immediately understands what’s going on.
“Excuse us,” he says to Vivienne, grabbing your hand to tug you a few feet away. His voice lowers when he asks, “Are you jealous right now?”
“No,” you retort immediately. “What reason would I have to be jealous?”
You’re making a big show about the notion of jealousy being ridiculous, but Jaehyun knows he’s hit the nail on the head.
“No reason at all,” Jaehyun assures you, and he truly means it. He knows this whole dating this is a PR move, but he hasn’t been able to get you out of his head all week. Every time he’s walked past you sitting front row at the shows- well, he’s been feeling butterflies in a way that he’s hardly been able to admit to himself. “Hey, listen-”
“No, you listen,” you cut him off. “Your show is over, we both fly different places tomorrow morning, management will set our schedules to keep up this whole fake dating thing, I just wanted to say goodbye before I go back to my hotel.”
“Oh, right.” Jaehyun can feel his heart sink in his chest. “Uh… where are you staying?”
“I’m at the Four Seasons.”
“Do you maybe want to get drinks later or something?” he asks.
“I’m sure you have after parties to go to with your… model friends.” Your gaze shifts to Vivienne again, and that same sour twist to your lips appears.
Jaehyun wants to reassure you, but- the words just aren’t coming. Besides, what would he even say? We’re fake dating but I’ve been rethinking our entire dynamic since we kissed and now I’m not so sure I want it to be fake, because I’m actually really into you, and all of our bickering in the past has been because I’m jealous of your driven nature and I’ve seen you as competition but now I see that we can do more together than apart?
It feels like a lot of word vomit, and Jaehyun’s not about to projectile all of that at you right now. He doesn’t want to look stupid again, doesn’t want to feel like an idiot. He’s scared of rejection, in a way he’s never been scared of it before.
Instead, dejected, he just nods. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Okay, so you go have fun, I’m going back to my hotel, and like I said, I’ll see you when I see you.”
Jaehyun watches you leave, and suddenly, the high from the fashion show has depleted. No one has ever had this kind of hold on his emotions before, and Jaehyun knows he’s going to have to do something about it, he just doesn’t know what.
Thirteen:
“Jeeze, Mark, I told you, I’m going to bed-” Your words cut off as you open your hotel door and find Jaehyun, not Mark, standing there.
“Uh… Hi?” Jaehyun smile sheepishly, and you look him up and down.
He’s in a form fitting suit, but it looks somewhat ragged. His shirt is unbuttoned haphazardly, his hair a little fussed, and his cheeks are flushed pink.
“What are you doing here?” you ask.
“Well, I went to the afterparty, like you told me to, but… I don’t know, I just felt bad about how we left things.”
You’re shocked at how candid he’s being, and you don’t see a hint of dishonestly in his body language. “Have… have you been drinking?” you question next.
“Just a little,” he admits. “Can I…” Jaehyun looks around the hallway outside. “Can I come in?”
“I should really be going to sleep soon-”
“Yeah, I heard, Mark’s been on your ass,” Jaehyun nods, swallowing, “but uh…” he leans forward, voice lowering, “What’s that pipsqueak going to do about you staying up just a little later? I mean, you can sleep on your flight tomorrow, can’t you?”
Yeah, Jaehyun is drunk. “Did you just call Mark a pipsqueak?” you ask in shock.
“So what if I did?” He grins lazily.
“Jae-”
“y/n.”
You sigh. “Come in, sit down, and let me grab you some water.”
“Yes, ma’am.” His smile is much too large for your liking as he enters your hotel room, going to the couch like a good boy.
You can feel his eyes on you as you get him a bottle of water from the fridge, moving to join him. “Here.”
“Thanks.” He unscrews the cap as you sit down, taking a large gulp.
“So… what’s this about?”
He’s still drinking the water, like a child after a marathon, just drinking and drinking with small stops to gasp for air- you can’t help but laugh a little, watching with amusement.
Jaehyun finishes the entire bottle. “So-” He takes a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“Making you jealous earlier.”
“What?” You’re in shock. “I was not jealous.”
“You were, and it’s okay.” He places his hand on your knee and you look down at it then up at him questioningly. “I was jealous of you and Haechan back in the day, but the difference is, I wasn’t hitting on Vivienne, I was just trying to be nice to her, you know, as male model of the year and everything.”
“Jae-”
“I wasn’t hitting on her,” he says again, expression turning firm. “You’re my girlfriend and I’d never, ever do that to you.”
“I’m not your girlfriend.”
“Contractually, you are,” Jaehyun insists. “I can be a good boyfriend to you, if you let me try.”
He’s leaning in now, and you grab a pillow, haphazardly shoving it between the two of you so he can kiss that instead.
“Jae!” You hop off of the couch, heart racing.
“Shit, sorry, you’re just- God, have I ever told you that you glow?” Jaehyun looks up at you with an expression you’ve never seen on him, it’s almost like admiration.
“What are you even saying?”
“You glow. You light up the room. You just- you sparkle, even without disco balls and diamonds.”
You wrap your silky night robe tighter around your body, feeling self conscious. “I don’t glow.”
“You do,” he insists. “Even when we were younger. I think- I think part of me always worried your glow would diminish mine, if that makes sense- but, but after seeing some of the footage from the music video, I see that, now that we’re older, when we do stuff together, when we’re not competing, we can glow together.”
So he’s like… very drunk.
But… haven’t you always heard that drunk words are sober thoughts?
You look down at him, and it feels like you’re seeing him in a new light.
“Jae?” you question.
“Yes?”
“What’s going on?”
“When we kissed that day on set, I felt something.”
“Are you… not used to feeling things?” you ask.
“Not feeling things like that,” Jaehyun corrects. “I mean, butterflies, sparks, you know, corny rom com shit.”
Your stomach flips, heart beginning to beat faster in your chest- so he’d felt the connection too.
“Look, okay, this is going to be embarrassing if you reject me, but, fuck it, I want to get this all off my chest.” Jaehyun takes a deep breath, running his fingers through his silky hair to steady himself. “I like you. I think, a part of me has always liked you, but, I also used to see you as competition. Now that we’re older, now that we’re both successful, I don’t see you that way anymore- and before you think that’s another backhanded compliment, I just mean, you’ve won Grammys. You’re- a fucking star. And I think… maybe I’ve grown to the point where I can accept other people’s successes without seeing it as a diminishment on my own.”
You’re surprised he can speak this well and use big words while clearly feeling the effects of alcohol, and even more than that, you’re surprised by the context of what he’s saying.
Jeong Jaehyun thinks you’re a star. He recognizes your hard work and your success. He’s not just some smug asshole looking down at you, he’s actually seeing you, and maybe… maybe you’re beginning to see him.
“I appreciate the compliment of what you’re saying,” you tell him, picking your own words carefully.
“There’s that PR training,” Jaehyun winks. “You’re cute. Glowy, little, cute, superstar. Maybe that’s what I should call you, my little superstar, the media would eat it up.”
“That’s your PR training,” you laugh.
“We can’t help it,” he smiles up at you.
“Can I say something without you getting upset?”
“I’ll do my best,” Jaehyun promises solemnly.
“I want to start by saying this isn’t a rejection,” you clarify, “I just wish you would have told me all of this while sober, instead of showing up at my apartment near midnight before we both fly out of town in the morning.”
“I can see that,” Jaehyun nods. “I guess, you kind of scare me.”
“I scare you?” you laugh.
“Uh huh.” He swallows thickly. “Like heights.”
He’s so adorably dorky for a famous actor and Prada brand ambassador.
“But- on that cliff that day, when we kissed, and you reassured me, and you let me hold your hips- I don’t know, it was nice. I- thanks, thanks for doing that.”
“I can be quite nurturing if I think someone deserves it,” you tell him. “Which, speaking of, you’re still drunk, and you downed that whole bottle of water, I think I should get you another, and maybe we can move somewhere more comfortable.”
“Like.. the bedroom?” There’s a glint in his eye, and it makes you scoff.
“Get your mind out of the gutter Jae, you can stay on this couch for all I care.”
“I’ll be good,” he promises, crossing his heart haphazardly.
“Come on.” You hold your hand out for him and Jaehyun takes it, allowing you to help him to his feet. You go get another bottle of water and the two of you move to the bedroom. The mattress is substantially more comfortable than the couch, and Jaehyun releases an audible moan as he clammers down onto it.
You get situated, moing under the covers so you feel less exposed.
“I like it when you’re nice like this,” Jaehyun sighs.
“I’d be nicer if you didn’t always tease me.”
“You like it when I tease.”
“I actually hated it when you told me not to slip as I was getting onto the horse during the shoot, and it completely made me mess up and slip,” you point out, still irritated by that ordeal.
“Okay, to be fair, yes, I’m sorry, but also, your dress was silky as fuck, you were going to slip even if I didn’t say anything, and that’s not your fault, it’s Jenni’s for not giving you better clothes to actually ride a horse with.”
He has a point there.
“So…” Jaehyun switches topic, his demeanor getting more anxious, “back on the couch, you said you weren’t rejecting me… can you… can you explain what that meant.”
“It meant I’m not rejecting you.”
“And salt of the earth means salt of the earth,” Jaehyun retorts, rolling his eyes. “Can you give me a Mark style explanation on what you meant.”
“I meant…” you think about it for a second. “I like you too, I think you might be more into me than I’m into you at the moment-”
“Oh yeah?” he counters, crossing his arms over his chest and getting pouty.
“Yeah,” you laugh.
“Fine, okay, maybe,” Jaehyun concedes. “But?”
“But… I’m willing to explore something with you.”
“Yeah?” His expression brightens. “Really?”
“We’d just have to sort out details, you know- we’re on contract for three or so months, so, if we gave it a real go, and things ended before our contract, how would that even work? There are limitations to having a relationship with someone you work with.”
Jaehyun looks down at the water bottle in his hands, clearly thinking it through. “We can… take it slow? I mean, we’d have to, since we both have different schedules and will be in different countries tomorrow.”
“Slow could work,” you agree.
The two of you stare at each other for a moment, and you almost think he’s going to lean in for a kiss again, and then he asks, “What did happen with you and Haechan? Your first single was about him, right?”
You release a laugh, if this is really a can of worms he wants to open, then you suppose you can let him open it.
You begin to explain to him your history with Haechan, and Jaehyun listens intently. Somehow, he gets the ball rolling on your recent relationship with Lee Jeno, and before you know it, two hours have passed with the two of you just discussing past relationships.
Jaehyun tells you about his own ex’s, about his lack of accountability and emotional maturity. He gives voice to all the trouble spots you’ve identified about him in the past, and clarity on his hopes for being better in the future.
He also noticeably sobers up, which makes you feel a lot better about having this sort of intimate conversation with him.
Soon, you’re both just laying in bed facing each other, talking about everything and anything. “Do you remember that time the catering company on set changed?” Jaehyun asks.
“Oh my god, yeah, when the higher ups wanted more vegan and vegetarian options, and it was just like, raw fruit and veggies with store bought hummus?”
“Jaemin wasn’t used to eating anything that wasn’t carbs or meat and in the middle of a take he had to run to the bathroom?” Jaehyun adds.
“Shat his pants and everything, pissed wardrobe off in a way I’ve never seen,” you giggle. “What ever happened to him?”
“I don’t keep up with many of our old castmates,” Jaehyun admits. “But I think he’s some radio show host or something now, has a segment about embarrassing first dates and stuff.”
“He always loved messy gossip,” you sigh, happy to be reminiscing in this way.
There are only a handful of people who can understand what it was like to be on a kids show in your early teens, only a few others in the world you could possibly have this conversation with.
Despite your differences, you and Jaehyun come from the same place, and it makes it easy to talk to him.
Jaehyun’s staring at you, and he pushes a strand of hair out of your face. “Should I let you sleep?” he asks. “It’s two AM.”
You’re hardly tired at this point, and now that Jae’s sober… and in your bed… your own mind has found its way into the gutter, and you’re not quite sure what to do about that.
“Can I be honest with you?” you ask.
“Always.”
“I haven’t gotten laid in a long time,” you sigh. “And… we’re flying to different places tomorrow, so maybe it’s not the best idea I’ve ever had-”
“It is,” Jaehyun interrupts you. “The best idea you’ve ever had.” You shoot him a look and Jaehyun laughs, back tracking. “I mean, your lyrics and albums are great ideas too- but I just mean… If you’re horny, then you’re horny, and I’m, well, here.”
“I just don’t want you to feel taken advantage of.”
“Even if you’d tried to fuck me when I first walked in here, all drunk and being stupid, it still wouldn’t have been taking advantage of me.”
“I think fucking someone while they’re drunk is one of the most obvious scenarios of taking advantage of someone,” you counter.
“Okay, true, but- you know what I’m saying.” Jaehyun flashes you a knowing look. “If you want me to fuck you, I’ll fuck you.”
“That’s so romantic,” you roll your eyes.
Jaehyun laughs, and then he sits up, looking down at you. “If you want romance, we can go shower together or something. I could… romantically wash your body, and tell you how perfect you are-”
“It’s two am, fuck that. Just kiss me.”
Jaehyun grins, then he leans over you, staring into your eyes. He’s moving slower than you thought he would, and part of you wishes he’d just ravage you like some primal animal- but no, he’s acting like he did in your music video. You can practically see adoration in his eyes, and his hand comes up to cup your cheek in a way that’s almost loving.
“I meant it when I said that you glow,” Jaehyun says softly.
“I know you did,” you breathe, grabbing the back of his neck to draw his lips to yours.
It’s odd how familiar the two of you already are. The kiss isn’t awkward at all, but then again, your first kiss hadn’t been either.
Neither of you are trying to dominate it, you’re moving slowly, reading each other’s body language and cues.
When his tongue gently licks your lip, you open your mouth for him, drawing him closer as the kiss deepens.
Jaehyun shifts in your embrace, and then he’s moving to be between your legs, which spread for him. He’s on top of you now, elbows digging into the pillows while you make out like teenagers in love for the first time.
He just feels so good.
For a long time, you’ve felt like an anxious person. You have a lot of weight on your shoulders, but when you’re kissing Jaehyun, that pressure feels lifted. Your mind goes blank as the two of you make out, your body at the forefront instead of your thoughts.
Jaehyun slowly begins to grind down against you, and the gentle pressure on your clit has you groaning against his lips.
You feel him smirk, and then he begins to kiss down your throat, taking his time to suck gently on your skin.
One of his hands slides up your thigh, teasing the waistband of your sleeping shorts before moving back down again. He’s so warm, and you hips push up for more stimulus.
“Jae-” you whimper, threading your fingers in his hair.
“Slow, or fast?” he asks, pulling away from your throat to look down at you.
“A bit of both.”
He cocks his head to the side.
“Fast to get my clothes off, slow to explore, then make me cum,” you clarify.
Jaehyun laughs. “Whatever you want, superstar.”
Your skin tingles at the nickname, and your pussy throbs as Jaehyun begins to remove his clothes. Each button feels like an eternity to get undone, but when he slips the fabric off, you find yourself practically drooling.
He has such a perfect body, not too lean, not too muscled, just perfect.
Then, Jaehyun begins to take off your robe and you sit up to help him. Soon, your shirt is being tugged over your head, and your nipples immediately pebble at the cool air of your hotel room.
You lay back down, staring up at him while Jaehyun takes in your body.
“Glowing,” he whispers, cupping your breast and rubbing his thumb across your nipple.
You whimper at the sensation, and his eyes move up to your face. He’s grinning at you. “Sensitive?” he asks, gently pinching the bud.
You groan, shifting against the bed. “Yeah.”
“I’ll take care of you,” Jaehyun promises, leaning down to kiss you again.
He begins to descend to your throat again, but this time, he goes even farther down, making it to your chest. The first flick of his tongue against your nipple has you whining, and you thread your fingers through his hair again, closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation.
He continues to suck on your breasts, paying attention to both nipples. You can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second, and you’re torn between loving the feeling of this and wanting something more.
It’s as if he reads you, because he pulls away from your chest, hooking his fingers in your shorts. You both adjust to allow him to get you fully naked, and then he lays down between your legs. He presses kisses along the sensitive flesh of your thighs, looking up at you.
There’d been a time in your life when you hadn’t loved eye contact during pussy eating, but there’s something so erotic about the way Jaehyun’s watching you as he brings his mouth to your core.
He kisses your clit gently, and you watch as his eyes close, his tongue swiping up your folds to taste the wet that has accumulated there.
He groans, delving deeper with his tongue, his large hands grabbing your thighs as an anchor as he begins to devour you.
Has anyone ever eaten you out like this? Jeno wasn’t much of a giver unfortunately, and it feels like forever since you’ve had someone doing to you what Jaehyun is currently doing.
Your entire body feels alive, with each flick and suck- You’re clutching at the blankets now, moaning desperately as he works you up faster than any man before him ever has.
You guess you hadn’t put a time limit on making you cum. You’d told him fast to undress, which he did, slow to explore, which he also did- and now, it seems he’s intent on making you cum on his tongue, which is something you have no issues with.
“Jae-” you whimper, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair.
He looks up at you and you begin to move your hips, riding his face. He stays still, letting you use him, and you can tell from the groan he releases that he kind of likes you taking control in this way.
“I’m close,” you tell him. “Please make me cum.”
Jaehyun’s fingers dig into your thighs, and then he’s back at it. He takes lead again, sucking your clit into his mouth while you cry out and grab the sheets with your free hand.
Your eyes close, your back arching a little as he works you closer and closer to the edge.
It’s a steady build of pleasure, and then, you’re tipping over. You release a strangled gasp as ecstasy courses through you like electric shocks from the tip of your head down to your toes and fingers.
You can feel your pussy contracting with pleasure, a steady rhythm that prolongs the sensation. Jaehyun continues to suck on your clit, helping you through everything until you’re a gasping mess.
He relents, and you can hear him sit up. Your eyes are still closed, one hand now haphazardly thrown across your eyes as you try to catch your breath.
The sound of Jaehyun’s pants hitting the floor draws your attention, and you look up to find Jaehyun standing there in all his glory.
“Still want to do this?” he asks.
“Get over here,” you command, opening your arms for him.
Jaehyun flashes you a grin, then he rejoins you on the bed.
Your lips are meeting a moment later. It’s not a gentle slow exploration anymore, but a hungry, lust fuelled haze. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it turns you even more. You wrap your legs around his hips, tugging him closer.
His cock rubs between your pussy lips and you whimper, reaching between yourselves to line him up- Jaehyun takes your hand, moving it aside. Then, two fingers enter your soaked core and you groan against his lips.
“Gotta prep you,” Jaehyun muses. “You said you haven’t been fucked in a while.”
“Don’t tease though,” you warn gently, looking up at him.
“Never.” He kisses you again, drowning out the anxious thoughts as he finger fucks you, spreading his fingers and working you open in preparation for his cock.
Jaehyun begins to curl his digits, hitting the sensitive spot inside of you that has you groaning. You break the kiss to burrow your face against his throat, panting as he draws more and more pleasure out of your already exhausted body.
You feel something drip on your upper thigh, and you look down to see the precum leaking out of Jaehyun’s tip. “Sorry,” he groans, “I’m just, super turned on right now.”
“Then fuck me,” you insist, biting at his earlobe. “I’m prepped now.”
“You sure?”
“We’re both dripping, Jae, just fuck me.”
“You got it, superstar.” Jaehyun grins as he kisses you. He finger fucks you a little more and then he pulls his digits out of your wet core. You watch him sit up, licking his fingers clean, then he grabs the base of his cock.
He presses the tip into you, looking up to watch your reaction. When you release a moan, Jaehyun grins. He steadies over you again, his biceps bulging as his lips meet your own. He pushes deeper inside of you, taking it slow until his hips are flush against yours.
You both groan at the feeling.
“See?” you gasp. “Told you I could take you.”
“Taking me so well,” Jaehyun agrees, his breath hot against your throat as he begins to pepper your skin with kisses.
Jaehyun’s hips start to move, and he fucks you gently at first, allowing your inner walls to get used to the size of him. His kisses distract you as he opens you up, his pace increasing.
You release a loud moan when the tip of his cock hits a deep spot inside of you, and you can feel Jaehyun grin against your throat. “Right there?” he asks, doing the motion again. “Is that the place?”
“Yeah,” you whimper, nodding. “Right there.”
Jaehyun brings his lips to your own, and he kisses you deeply as he continues to abuse that special spot. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, keeping him close as he fucks you. God, you’re so lost in him, in the best possible way.
You never miss out on beauty sleep, but Jaehyun is more than worth it.
“Superstar?”
“Yeah?” you ask, half delirious.
“Would it be bad if I asked you to ride me?”
“Huh?”
“I just- I could still fuck up into you, but I don’t know, I kind of want to see you on top.”
“Really?” you look up at him in shock. “You strike me as a man who likes to have control.”
“Says the woman who likes to have control,” he counters with a grin. “Or… do you just want to be my pillow princess?”
You consider it for a moment. “You know what, yeah, let me get on top, I want to watch you when you cum.”
Jaehyun physically shivers from your words, and you watch his pupils dilate with interest. “Fuck,” he groans. “Yeah, get on top.”
It’s a quick adjustment, with Jaehyun dragging you onto his lap. You sit down on his cock and both of you groan at the feeling. He’s completely inside of you like this, and you press your hands to his chest, steadying yourself for a moment.
Then, you begin to bounce.
Jaehyun throws his head back against the pillows, moaning deeply.
Fuck, he’s so hot like this.
There’s something so erotic about being on top, on knowing that you’re going to be riding him when he cums.
Your whole relationship has been about competing for power, and now, in the midst of one of the most vulnerable exchanges of power, Jaehyun had stopped from his position on top to give you the opportunity to be in control.
You like that. You like it a lot.
It shows he hadn’t been lying when he’d talked about the two of you glowing together, and it gives you a newfound kind of hope for whatever relationship is budding between the two of you.
You ride him harder at the thought, and his hands find your hips, helping you bounce.
“Fuck, fuck-” Jaehyun groans, his fingers digging into your skin. “Feels so good.”
In all honesty, the first position had felt better for you, when he was doing all the work, but you’d never admit that to him, especially not while deep in the throes of passion like this. He’d already made you cum, and now, you want to return the favour.
You ignore the burning in your thighs, fucking Jaehyun in a way you’ve never fucked a man before. You can feel the power of it bubbling inside of you, and you focus on his expression, on the pleasure that’s written all over him.
“Jae,” you groan, “want you to cum for me.”
“Don’t-” he swallows thickly. “Don’t you want me to hold out a little longer?”
“It’s our first time, we have flights tomorrow,” you retort. “Just let go, I wanna feel it.”
“You and your scheduling,” Jaehyun laughs, but it quickly turns into a groan, his eyes closing again. “Fuck, okay, but you have to let me make it up to you sometime.”
“Next time we see each other we can spend hours fucking,” you tell him.
“Promise?”
“I promise, now be good and cum for me, yeah?”
Jaehyun shivers again, and there’s a slight look of confusion on his face. You get the sense that he’s not used to being talked down to like this- but it’s clear it turns him on in a new, foreign sort of way.
“Okay, yeah.” Jaehyun anchors himself against the bed, and then he begins fucking up into you, his muscles rippling under his perfect skin. “Shit, fuck-”
You watch the pleasure build in him, until he reaches his peak. The tension clearly snaps, and he lets out a deep groan that goes straight to your core.
You continue to ride him, intent on helping him through it-
Jaehyun grabs you and pulls you down to his chest, holding you still as he shoots his load deep in your pussy. He’s groaning in your ear, hips twitching-
God, you love the way you’re pinned like this, the way he’s cumming so hard he needed you to just stop.
You allow him to finish, and his grip slowly lets up on you. He’s no longer using his strength to keep you still, he’s just holding you, the two of you panting desperately.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” you mumble.
“That day, behind my trailer, the first time I held you,” Jaehyun clears his throat, “could you feel my heart racing the way it is now?”
“I was more focused on my own heart,” you admit.
“Yeah?”
“It was going pretty fast.”
Jaehyun releases a laugh, holding you tighter. “Guess we were both in for it, huh?”
“Guess so.”
Jaehyun holds you a little while longer, and then he sighs. “I should let you get your beauty sleep.”
“Yeah, but you can stay over if you want.”
“Really?”
“Could you imagine how much people would react if the paparazzi got a picture of you leaving my hotel tomorrow morning?”
Another chuckle escapes him. “You and your PR training.”
“You love it,” you insist.
Jaehyun releases a sigh, burying his face closer to your throat. “I do love it.”
You’re from the same world, the same industry, and no one has ever understood you or your job the way Jaehyun does.
Wrapped in his arms, the two of you set to fly to different countries in just a couple of hours, something about him just feels so right.
You’ve spent your whole life trying to be someone else for other people, for your management team, for your fans- but with Jaehyun, maybe you can just be exactly who you are, professional obligations and all.
He’d said it himself, he’d seen your glow from the moment you met, even as awkward kids on a tv show trying to make names for yourself. He’d seen your sparkle before you’d even seen it in yourself, and now, maybe he’s right. Maybe you can learn to glow together.
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I kind of loved working on this au, I know it's not classical 'he's an actual cowboy' but I really loved working with Jae as this character
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🔮 preview. You’ve been in love before, but it was always different. You were always with men who saw you as a prize. They put you on a pedestal, and it was often one sided with genuine empathy. You were a support in their lives, as opposed to a form of mutual understanding.But Jaehyun understands you, so you can confidently say he’s the sweetest love you’ve had.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, worship kink, substantial foreplay/prep, fingering, squirting, multiple reader orgasms, overstim, dirty talk, praise, man handling, anal (thumb in the butt), etc… I petnames. (hers) superstar.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.4k I teaser wc. 180
🌙 starring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader
bonus
“Wow,” you breathe, staring out at the crowd as you clutch the Grammy in your hand. “I can honestly say, I never expected this award. To win Best Music Video, I just- I’m in shock. I want to thank my parents, my label, my team of wonderful people, production, styling, Hwasa, who directed the video, and Mark, my manager. I want to thank my fans especially, I wouldn’t be anywhere without you. And, I also want to thank my amazing scene partner, Jaehyun. I know a lot of people were confused about Jae being the Model Cowboy, but he showed up to set, and something just clicked. We made magic with this one, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Thanks again, wow, thanks.”
You’re practically shaking as you make your way off the stage to go rejoin your group of people in the audience. Hwasa and Mark both give you a hug, and Johnny pats you on the back. When you reach Jaehyun, he wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as he presses kisses along your face.
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Hello...My name is Mohammad Dawood, I’m 18 years old, and I’m from Gaza.
Like every family here, mine lived a simple life full of daily challenges, but we always found a way to livece. That was until the recent war, which left us with nothing but painful memories.
During those dark days, we lived in constant fear. Every night, we would hear the sounds of bombs getting closer, and the drone of planes overhead never ceased. We huddled together in a small corner of our old house, praying to survive. My younger siblings' eyes were filled with tears and terror. One night, the worst happened. A sudden missile strike tore through our home and shattered our dreams. Thankfully, every member of my family survived, but we lost everything we owned.
My father, Nabeel, who worked tirelessly to provide for us, lost his workshop in the bombing. I also lost my small job, which helped support our large family. All the savings we had quickly ran out, and we found ourselves homeless.
We were relocated to an unfinished school in Gaza. This school is not fit for human habitation. There is no roof to protect us from the rain or the heat, no clean water to drink, and we live in inhumane conditions. The children can't attend school because theirs was destroyed, and even the simplest things, like a peaceful night’s sleep, have become a luxury we can no longer afford.
My brother Youssef, who is 12, cannot sleep at night because of the sounds of explosions that still haunt him. My little sister Hala, who is only 6, asks me every day, “When are we going back to our home?” and I have no answer for her. My youngest brother Mahmoud, who is 3, no longer knows what it means to play or laugh. The war has robbed them of their childhood and taken everything from us.
My mother Suha tries to remain strong, but we all know how exhausted she is. Every day we wake up to the same nightmare, not knowing when this suffering will end. We live without security, without a clear future. Life here is filled with fear and uncertainty.
We are now in desperate need of help. We need to build a new home, to provide a safe haven for my siblings and my family, to have a chance to live with dignity. Your support can restore the hope we lost and give us a new chance at life.
Your donation, no matter how small, can make a huge difference in our lives. Help us overcome this hardship and build a better future..
#free palstine#all eyes on palestine#i stand with palestine#palestinian genocide#save palestine#free palestine#free gaza#@sar soor#@90 ghost#save gaza#go fund me#gif
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Princess Party Pt 2 | Lando Norris x Best Friend! Reader
Summary: After a drunken night with his best friend, Lando ran away from the consequences. Over the next eight months, he's reminded that he made a huge mistakes.
Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Baby fever. Pregnancy. Lando redemption.
Blonde female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.
Main F1 Masterlist
prev.
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YourUserName posted a new story
liked by oscarpiastri, yoursister and others
georgerussell replied to your story
georgerussel63 let’s hope that bean doesn’t expect homemade treats in the future
→ YourUserName this is exactly why i’m crying so thanks for the reminder!
→ georgerussell63 oh no, i was joking. i'm so sorry! don’t cry! i’m on my way with ice cream
→ YourUserName i’m over ice cream now. i'll take hot dogs?
→ georgerussell63 don’t tell charles. he just released an ice cream line for you
charles_leclerc replied to your story
charles_leclerc don’t cry, y/n/n. bean has a life supply of free ice cream. she won’t even like cookies
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YourUserName just posted
liked by alex_albon, carmenmmundt and others
YourUserName not long now. (i believe george called this nesting)
1,123 comments
lilymhe counting down the days until i become a godmother
→ francisca.cgomes lily we’ve talked about this. i know the number for a good therapist, help with your delusions
→ alex_albon ladies, ladies, please. we’ve already had this fight. you both lose
→ georgerussell63 you all lose because i’m the only contender for godmother
→ YourUserName none of you are godmother unless you show up to meet bean in a red sparkly dress and a wand
→ georgerussell63 stop watching shrek 2
→ YourUserName never!!!
oscarpiastri the room is really coming together. those drawers look amazing
→ YourUserName i ask you to help me build one piece of furniture and i never hear the end of it
danielricciardo 2 months to go! not that i’m counting. or excited. in any way shape or form
flonorris1 such a beautiful room. bean has such an amazing mum
charles_leclerc baby incoming!
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YourUserName posted a new story
liked by carmenmmundt, yoursister and others
alex_albon replied to your story
alex_albon bean's just training to be an F1 driver
→ YourUserName isn't the term usually footballer
→ alex_albon oh, please. that kid won’t be a footballer if uncle george and i have anything to do with it. we’ll make her the first female wdc
→ YourUserName my poor baby. what untalented uncles she has
→ alex_albon oi!
georgerussell63 replied to your story
georgerussell63 carmen says bean was kicking so much because she’s excited to meet her aunty
→ YourUserName and carmen would be right
→ georgerussell63 i told carmen it was because bean heard my voice and loves me so much already
→ YourUserName and you would be wrong
→ georgerussell63 pregnancy has made you mean
→ YourUserName nah, the hormones just make you less tolerable
→ georgerussell63 after all i’ve done :(
→ YourUserName <3
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YourUserName just posted
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and others
YourUserName welcome to the world baby bean l/n-norris tagged: landonorris
1,098 comments
landonorris my two beautiful girls. no words will ever express the amount of love and gratitude i have for you but i will spend the rest of my life trying to show you
→ danielricciardo simp
carlossainz55 congratulations. you make beautiful parents
alex_albon little bean is the most beautiful girl ever. i don’t think i’ve stopped crying since you named me godfather
→ lilymhe he really hasn’t. but tbf, i haven’t stopped crying since you named me godmother
→ yoursister i still think she should revoke alex's godfather title. traitor
→ alex_albon i apologised!!
→ georgerussell63 it means nothing!!!
charles_leclerc baby bean is here! i am so excited. we can have little playdates
→ alexandrasaintmleux charles, i don’t think bean will be able to play with leo for a good while
→ YourUserName no but i can! bring him over!!
danielricciardo who’s crying? not me. let me know when you feel ready for visitors as i may have bought a ‘few’ things
georgerussell63 beautiful girls. thank you so much for letting me be part of this journey, and for naming me godfather
→ YourUserName it’s a thank you for driving me to the hospital and holding my hair back whilst i puked. i don’t know what i would’ve done without you and carmen
carmenmmundt it was such an honour to be part of this beautiful journey with you.
→ YourUserName thank you for being there for me. bean and i cannot wait for our first brunch date with aunty carmen
maxverstappen1 i am very happy for the both of you. she’s beautiful
oscarpiastri the most beautiful baby. i hope she’s enjoying that dresser
→ YourUserName let it go, pookie x
francisca.cgomes i haven’t taken my godmother hoodie off since you gifted it to me
→ pierregasly can confirm. i'm sick of looking at shrek’s face anytime i walk behind her
mclaren our beautiful papaya baby. we can already promise that she will be the most spoiled girl in the paddock. we’re already setting up a racing nursery 🧡
→ mercedesamgf1 except she will be spending time in our garage
landonorris just posted
liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and others
landonorris to my beautiful daughter and her astounding mother. i am in awe of the pair of you. for the past nine months, i have been the biggest idiot on the planet. and yet both of you welcomed me back into your lives without a second thought. y/n, i have loved you since we were 12 and you kissed me because i grazed my knee falling off my bike. instead of telling you that, i dragged you around the world with me whilst i raced, falling more in love with you each day. your generosity and kindness never fail to wow me. to those who don't know, i was a complete idiot. i ran away from my responsibilities and yet, she didn’t hesitate in giving me a second chance. not just as a father but as a partner. she brought our beautiful bean into the world, and i will forever cherish the pair of you. you are my whole world, and if i ever upset either of you, george has full permission to run me over with his car. to y/n and bean, i love you both forever. you are my everything.
7,995 comments
alex_albon i’m so happy for you, mate. you owe me for all the grey hairs you gave me
→ landonorris i’m grateful for your friendship, mate. i owe you for so much more than just that haha
→ YourUserName @ alex_albon you’re still in trouble
→ lilymhe yes he is
carlossainz55 felicidades, compañero 🥳❤️
danielricciardo well done, brother. y/n did an amazing job. i’m glad you took responsibility
fernandoalo_official what a beautiful family. make sure you cherish it
georgerussell63 y/n made such a beautiful bean
→ landonorris hey, part of my dna is there too (but, yes, yes she did)
→ georgerussell63 unfortunately
oscarpiastri the caption is why you kept asking me for synonyms? but seriously, i’m so glad to have been part of this journey for both of you
pierregasly 🥳🥳🥂
mclaren papaya baby! we cannot wait to see baby bean in the paddock. she’ll be the most important part of race week
arthur_leclerc i cannot believe someone willingly had a baby with you, especially someone as beautiful as y/n
liked by YourUserName
user1 anyone else notice that none of the wags commented on this post despite y/n being in it?
→ user2 you can guarantee they all commented on hers though because they’ve all been gushing about buying baby stuff
→ user3 they really said y/n may have forgiven him but we certainly don’t
user4 y/n stronger than me because if my baby daddy walked away from me and my child for the entire pregnancy just to decide he wanted to be a father once it was born, i’d cut his dick off
user5 guys, not only did we finally get lando and y/n together. we got mom and dad y/n and lando together
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landonorris just posted
liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri and others
landonorris happy 1st birthday to my prettiest princess. you’re my favourite mini muppet in the world but if you don’t stop growing then you and daddy are going to have some words. (also, daddy best be the only prince charming in your life)
15,449 comments
YourUserName whoa whoa whoa, i thought you were my prince charming
→ landonorris sorry babe but you know you lost me the minute i looked into her eyes
→ YourUserName and here i go crying again
danielricciardo mate, do you really think calling yourself daddy in an insta post is a good idea?
→ landonorris @ YourUserName pay up, i told you he’d make it weird
→ YourUserName damn it, daniel. you just cost me a back massage
georgerussell63 and best godfather of the year award goes to me for the princess castle
→ alex_albon liar! best godfather of the year ‘twas me. she danced with me the most and wanted me to have the second slice of cake
oscarpiastri can’t believe princess bean locked me in the dungeon
→ landonorris she wasn’t impressed that you overtook me last weekend
→ oscarpiastri sucks to suck, i guess
francisca.cgomes i still can’t believe my baby brunch buddy is 1!! when did that happen?
→ landonorris @ YourUserName has enjoyed playing with the brunch kitchen kit more than bean has
→ YourUserName why would you expose me this way? i pushed a kid out for you
alex_albon happy birthday baby bean! can’t believe it’s been a whole year of spoiling you
→ User6 does this mean alex has been forgiven?
→ YourSister no.
→ alex_albon don’t lie to the internet. you gave me a hug earlier
→ lilymhe it was only so she could spit in your drink, honey
charles_leclerc happy birthday, bean! she is the most adorable little girl. i think i will need to wear my fairy wings on the weekend to help me go faster
→ pierregasly i’ve already told alpine that they need to add my tiara to the helmet
User7 okay but can we all appreciate the fact that this little girl had the majority of the Grid at her party, all dressed in some way as princesses
→ User8 @ YourUserName c’mon, we all know you’re a girls’ girl, release the photos of the princess grid
→ YourUserName shh, i have to wait until they're racing so you've all got 2 hours to save them before they make me take them down
maxverstappen1 P had the best day with bean, and said that y/n is her new bestest friend
→ YourUserName aww my heart. please bring P around for playdates forever though, she’s the best kid
→ kellypiquet she was so exhausted she fell asleep in her princess dress
→ YourUserName so did lando
→ landonorris hey!
→ YourUserName you started it
User9 i think we’re all asking the same thing; when are you having the next one?
→ landonorris @ YourUserName so..? 👀
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Baby Fever Angst Series
F1 requests are open!
Tag list - so sorry if I missed anyone. It wasn’t finding a lot of people
@bibissparkles @barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @softtina @callsignwidow @lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @hc-dutch @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @reguluscrystals @peachiicherries @rosecentury @prettypink11 @emmynotawards @tinyhrry @sltwins @daemyratwst @lemon-lav @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bwormie @leclercsluvs @spanishcorndogs @hard4ndsoft @formulaal @classiclitfreak @weekendlusting @evesfile @powerpuffgirly @leclercvsx
#baby fever angst#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris drabble#lando norris headcanon#lando norris one shot#lando norris fluff#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader
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