#we are meant to be!!!! birthday buddies :D

[merakiui]

after four years of hoping to one day share a birthday with a genshin character, kinich has answered my wishes. ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

[redraven393]

Transformers one time? Yes, it IS

help it is so weird to see him without a face mask, it felt naked.

what are you up to OP?? uh? ah the archives! - Opp to loud- OhhHH~ Lore.

oh no time to bounce OP- wait, Orian Pax?? oh well I can still can call him OP- OMG YOU'RE A REGULAR AT THIS?

buddy you do not negotiate about this with feds- OP- PFFFT okay

HE'S A DORK!

uh? - Uhhhh???- OP???- omg-sure take the snacks- OMG WHY IS EVERYONE KNOW YOU OP???

Opp get caught- omg??? MEGSS???? I recognize that bucket head everywhere.

D-16??- aww they're BFF! - omg he is a dork- Sentinel Prime, eh? will he be a jerk this time around? - the surface?

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OP: just imagine if we have a Cog- D-16: I will transform into a shovel to hit you OP: ... I don't like how fast you answer that

YOUR HONOR THEY ARE DORKS!!

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Megatronus prime is quite loved in this one huh? to still be called strong and not a tyrant? - and aww D-16 is a fan

did my eyes deceive me or is that fukin WHEELJACK & JAZZ??? YAUBSJ

to the MINES! - JETPACKS!

OHHH ELITA MY DARLING! -omg she's a manager- pfft OP please

ohh? this is a unique mining system- uh oh Wheely- oh no

JAZZ BABY NOOOO-

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Jazz: Just leave me! OP: ok Jazz: no wait :(

I love him

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THEY'RE SAFE!

aww Elita I am so sorry for you Darling- oh no OP don't- yeah kind expect that

oh, Sentinel home ~ is that Sunstriker? or am I crazy anytime I see the red and gold duo I just Twins???

wait its I-acon not La-con??? omg- huh he already sounds sketchy to me D-16

PROWL! - shut up Sentinel I knew you were a hack anyway- PROWL!!

ohh~ a competition at the 5000th birthday of Iacon?

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE He SAYS IT HE SAYS THE THING!

this version OP is so much fun btw I love him but just like D-16 I too want to shake him like a Maraca- OP dear pls don't take your only best friends to a death trap

glitch as swear words for the bots is everything-, FINALLY we are back to our roots of unique swear words

aww that is so sweet.

ARCEEE!!- IRONHIDE!

huh so Quenteson is in this mess huh? 50 years, so not a recent development but not that old either

the previous Primes are so cool!

oh? - OH- PAX PLEASE!!!- and.... they're off, okay who's planning the funeral for these idiots?

aww at least Arcee is rooting for them :) - BLURR!!!!- SKYFIRE!!!!

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D-16: if we live, I'll KILL you OP: okay bestie :D

dorks

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Opp almost- SWINDLE- TAILGATE!! :D- JETSTORM!

NOO- oh no guys please don't be that dumb- they are that dumb omg- Fuk you darkwing

HOTROD! >:D - Mirage!!- oh wat? Magnets? - omg they might actually win this- fuking shoot for the skies next time I guess

CHROMIA! (you fukin bitch)

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well, you guys did wonderful for Minerbots actually

Arachnid - oh? I didn't know we were chill like that Sentinel? are we cool? - are we cool or is he still like a douche? like not Villainy but just ya know an Ick?

is he a frat dude???/

well at least you guys are not going to the slums- Hi~ DarkWing you good buddy~?

fuk you darkwing- sorry boys guess I jinx it- uhm an empurata?

OMG BUMBLEBEE MY BABY BB!! :D :D

oh, darling what have they done to you- sheeshh Bee Honey you are not meant to be here, who is evil enough to make you stuck in here!

Orion dear, Dee darling please save this boy- STEVE! - oh honey D:

OH lore? YO?! - yeah you better watch yourself D-16- didn't the just tell you that they are going to the surface? AGAIN?

Yay you brough the boy- what is the surface anyway? are they like in an eternal lockdown inside the planet’s surface or???- Elita please! -

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omg? is the planet growing mountains? - you're in Elita? - yeah Bee you got the right idea- oh nooo-

off- ELITA Darling please- hey you were the reason we were out of the train in the first place- ohh robot animals?

Bee honey please-why is it not metal? - a city?? in the surface? rust?

omg-uhhhh tense- wtf was that -Plants? in a metal world?

HOLLY SHIT is that a dead body- is the dead Quinteson rotting body makes the plantation?

oh- omg the all there??- are they eaten or were they murdered>

oh? Alpha Trion? He LIVE!? - might want to rest up a bit old guy-

oh? - huh so AT is unfamiliar with Cog less bot? - Oh? so Sentinel is a bitch then?

oh, wait so there are multiple primes at the same time? huh

SENTINEL YOU ARE A BITCH

so, it just corroded away? - I knew them living under the planet was just fukin weird- wait, are they?? using the TFP dronecon?

OMG those bitch - yeah D-16 we need a revolution

hey now, no need to victim blames here, you all are screwed- no need to fight with each other

oh, shit ok chill my guy, I’m in for the murder but like chill

omg I say it again Sentinel is a bitch-

oh? AT what are you doing- omg is it okay to like took from the dead like this??-

Omg upgrade!!- let's go! - glad Bee is here with us btw my boy deserves this.

say it say the line AT- Nonoo he didn't say the line all I want is for some to say the line WE WERE SO CLOSE TO THE LINE!!!

Opp uh oh someone is here- well if you won't say it I will

Till All are One Alpha Trion

it’s the TFP Dronecon!!! :D where is the REAL Steve- OMG he's a MAXIMAL! a RHINO! - Airchanid, you bitch

pfft L- yeah for someone who never have cogs before having them will be quite difficult - Bee so far have the most natural ability in this

HE'S A TANK! - OH NO BB D: - oh he's okay- aww look at all these dorks

oh no D-16 have a taste in blood- hmm tension is in the air

SENTINEL YU BITCH (I’ll say when ever I see him) -god he's frat boy personality sound so fukin annoying now.

Till all are one Alpha Trion, rest in peace

SHUT UP SENTINEL- okay wait so are all of them a triple changer? is that like a more normal thing here?

the nonmetal nature in Cybertron is still messing me up tbh.

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oh no is this D-16 emo era? are we getting closer to Megatron?

I mean yeah, he's right OP there is a reason it took 50 cycles for even any of you to realize this and you guys got some Hard proof

UH OH- WHOOO???- they are surface bots?? -

STARSCREAM!!! - SHOCKWAVE!!!!!- SOUNDWAVE!!!! AHUVS AGVTW

omg Bee honey- oOhhH the high guards, eh? - OP please.

where are the other members of your usual trios Star???- uhhh yeah you guys are intense

oh? go off D-16 my king??? - OoOHhh

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

uhh? Star are you a masochist? - oh shit that is some big ass gun-

oh, shit here comes the revolutions - oh no mommy is here.

Piggy bag ride let’s go!

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT- part 2

well at least Star still have his cowardly persona- Yeah Go ELITA! oh no- ah shit

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not my boy nooooo- where all of the positive thinking go OP??

PFFT okay ELITA- Elita my queen please I love you but please!

yeah, there's no way you guys can do this alone YOU NEED to have more bots at your cause

YEAH, QUEEN GO OFF! - I love Elita did I say that already I’ll say it again. ILOVE YOU ELITA OUR QUEEN!!

also looks like there is no empurata in this verse HURRAY

I also love Shockwave and Soundwaves btw they are my blorboos

HE SAYS THE LINE!!!!!

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BEE YOU OKAY :D- SHUT THE FUCK UP SENTINEL YOU BITCH

omg so that's why he has that annoying high pitch voice-

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D-16: you are a traitor Sentinel: NU UH! >:(

I fukin het him

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don’t touch him you bitch- THAT BITCH!!- that fucker- YOU"RE DRAWINGS ARE SHIT!

OP SAVE YOUR BESTIE- fucker you can fly???-

oh, hey Ironhide??- YEAH EAT SHIT DARKWING- oh hey Springer????

Smokescreen?? oh hey Prowl -

SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH

say the line damn it- why is no one saying the LINE

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fukin sentinel you bitch- D-16 honey please take a rest

yeah, ELITA LET'S GOO-THE MINERS LET'S GOOOOO

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT - part 3

EWWWW WTF AIRACHNID- KILL IT KILL HER

Perfect landing if I do say so myself- hey you guys~

bestie we're here for you :D - okay still in that murder drive I see- what is your power exactly Soundwave

FACE MASK FOR MY BOY >:D- lmao get wrecked fuker- KNIFE HAND!

Sentinel you bitch- someone record that bitch's monolog so we can stream it to everyone later- oh yeah, we have the one who always see everything

omg the baby has a taste in blood now-

YEAH, GO OFF KING GET THAT BITCH!

someone make sure Bee is okay, he has too much fun in this

WELCOME TWICH STREAM CHATS TODAY WE ARE EXPOXING THE GOVERMENT!

okay guys maybe let's still be gentle in the mines those stuff is explosive right??

D-16 Please be chill omg- let's not destroy the whole city and like have more collateral damage

shut up sentinel you bitch - OP WHY??!!!- okay you guys let's focus on Sentinel first then-

OP! - omg fukin why!!! why can’t any of you be chill- that's why you need to be chill for once!

D-16? - D-16 buddy pull him up please don't - BITCH WHY????- THERE IS NO REASON FOR THAT!!! NO FUKIN REASON?!-

well, you make your choices, better kill that motherfucker like you said you would.

Primus if you're in there somewhere please god you better save this stupid ass mech- Primus you here?

oh, shit yeah public execution- oh yeah D-16? is this where we going to start a fukin tyranny?

oh, hey guys chilling in the afterlife? - THE MATRIX! >:D

welp boys introducing the new leaders of the two factions Megatron and Optimus prime

MEGATRON BUDDY PLEASE FUKIN CHILL - my guy please be chill

hey Optimus, will still be calling you OP- oh dear the newly Exes meet each other

guys please we do not need to see you two having a fight between the Exes here at the public- ohh fire power Ey?

everyone is just running away and you know what same I too would not want to be anywhere near this shit

THE BATTLE AXE! - you guys need to not be her this is between them only

guys please- this is just some bad break up please someone learn to communicate?

good God Primus all mighty

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SHOWING US THIS AT THIS MOMENT FUK

welp there he goes up in the surface- is the Energon still not flowing?

are you flirting with Elita Op? after just breaking up with Megs not too long ago? (/jk)

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Bee: I GET TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT :O?! Bee: this the greatest day of my life >:D

I love him

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the Energon is flowing again let’s go!!!!!- the COGS!! LET'S GOOO

IRONHIDE!!! - SIDESWIPE!! - ARCEE - JAZZ - AUTOBOTS no wait so we are not warring with the Decepticon then?

ROOOL Credits

Oh, shit I guess we are fighting the Decepticon- cool tattoo btw Megs

[staerplatinum]

Some of my favorite doodles from my headcanon/redesign concept sheets used as an excuse to list my headcanons about the main six (for an AU that I'm writing)! More under the cut!

Charlie Morningstar:

She's way more hot-headed than in canon, albeit still keeping her cheerful and gentle persona.

She loves food, and she's always hungry. I always loved the trope of protagonists (both male and female, like look at Goku himself, Usagi Tsukino or Minako Aino) and I think it could fit Charlie perfectly!

She loves planning (and this is already canon) and she has a lot of stationary gadgets. "Sure Alastor, you can borrow any pen! ... Not that one! :D" And takes good care of them.

Her birthday is February 29th. I thought that it wouldn't be strange if her birthday ended up being that day if she follows a demoniac calendar...

Vaggie:

It's canon that she likes everything to be clean and organized. I think she would help Niffty with the rooms and everything! They bond!

She and Angel Dust absolutely have BFFs vibes. Before Hazbin Hotel I remember they were meant to be a couple, but with the new canon they're still adorable as best friends and I love the dynamic more. They get into fights but it's never anything serious, they look like a big brother and a little sis, even though sometimes she definitely acts as a big sis to him. Angel sees Molly through her :(

As we know she doesn't really believe in herself, but she actually makes a very good leader!

In my fanfic, contrarily to the series, she was really fighting with burning hate towards the angels that cast her out. She holds a deep grudge and it's hard for her to come out of it. (I want Out for Love to be useful, it's my favorite song ç_ç)

Her name as a human was Agata Flores, she was born the 28th of June in 1993. If we still count 2014 as her death and if she was once a winner that then became sinner... my headcanon is that she died of a hate crime in March 25th 2014, aged 21.

Angel Dust:

He's not in drag 24/7. He really is feminine, but sometimes likes to try masculine outfits too. (which make Husk wonder "why am I staring??")

He's secretly a nerd. Or not so secretly. He owns video games, and especially likes RPGs and life sims.

He overanalyses everything. Well, almost everything but still. He actually likes reading, and this led him to analyse anything that comes into his eye. (Oh, I can't wait to write one of those scenes because I already had fun outlining it LMAOO)

He's probably Charlie's food buddy. Give them some food and they'll be happy (Valentino doesn't like this but get screwed Val, give him food too)

His name as a human was Anthony (canon) Cavallaro and had Neapolitan heritage. He's born in April 1st (and this is canon) 1912, he died of overdose (canon) in October 11th 1947, aged 35.

Alastor:

I loved his pilot persona more than the series', and most of the things are confirmed canon... but I do have some headcanons for him, too! (also yeah I don't think that will be my last radioapple drawing or doodle lol)

We know he either doesn't sleep or sleeps with his eyes open. Well, I imagine him that in the few rare occasions he actually sleeps, his radio works as a mental surveillance "camera". Also, he's a light sleeper and would definitely go "Do you fellows mind? I'm trying to sleep." like the old man he is.

I would like to explore Alastor's feelings for Charlie more, and how he sees her as a daughter. While we may not know if he was telling the truth, I think they both seeked each other as a fatherly and daughter figures in a way. Many in the fandom headcanon Alastor's father to have been shitty to him. If he truly sees Charlie as a daughter, it could be because he would like to be a better father than the one he had, and since he never had children, he grew affectionate to Charlie as such.

He knows how to handle alcohol well, but I like to think that when he's really drunk he doesn't even know what he's doing. Oh, you saw him playing with Angel's Nintendo Switch? He even brought it into his room to continue playing Animal Crossing by himself? He was totally wasted.

His name as a human was Alastor (which is apparently canon, but I wonder if it'll be retconned or not?) Boudreaux-Alexander. Boudreaux was his father's last name, Alexander was his mother's. He didn't like his mother taking her husband's last name and wanted to keep his mother's. He was born in March 7th 1901, and died in August 4th 1933, aged 32, after being shot by a hunter that confused him with a deer and was mauled by dogs afterwards. (Yikes, I'm so sorry)

Niffty:

She definitely has written lots of fanfics about her fellow hotel friends. Especially men. Yet, she loves Charlie and Vaggie too, so they're there as well.

We know both Niffty and Husk have deals with Alastor. She loves them both, I love to headcanon that when she feels lonely and can't sleep well or had nightmares, she either goes to Husk's or Alastor's room to sleep with them. They welcome her warmly ç_ç

Alastor and Husk most definitely know Niffty's story, which is why they care about her so much. She's childish for her age, but it could be tied to a past that only the two of them know very well.

Niffty knew Vox when they were alive. Now I know it could be a weird headcanon since Niffty is Japanese and Vox is American, but if Niffty's work brought her around the world it wouldn't be weird if they crossed paths. When Vox died Niffty was 19, she either saw him die in front of her eyes or something else happened.

As I mentioned in my concept sheets, she used to wear glasses when she was alive so she can't see really well without them after she died. Sometimes she borrows Alastor's monocle, and if we apply the headcanon that he's colorblind, without his monocle not only he can't see anything but can't even see colors LOL

Her name when she was alive was Sachiko Tanaka, born February 27th 1934. She died September 1st 1956, aged 22, there are popular headcanons about the way she died and yikes, if it's true she didn't have a good death either. Not at all.

Husk:

Maybe I'm overanalysing but what if the reason why he grew affectionate to Niffty was because he once had children? Or just one? Either he had a child and was with him but felt like he wasn't a good father or his ex-wife left him because of his gambling addiction and this made him feel guilty, not able to see his child ever again. (I feel bad just thinking about this but ç_ç)

Despite the fact he hates being on a leash and none other than Alastor's, he actually cares about him. If the two were friends when they were alive (including Mimzy), this could explain why he's still around Alastor even if reluctantly. (Sure he says he's forced, but in the pilot Alastor summoned him, so it's safe to assume either Alastor-Husk-Niffty were roommates before coming to the hotel and did their business without telling Alastor, or simply we need more explanations of Alastor's deals)

His name when he was alive was Ivan Goncharov, born January 29th 1900, and died in December 23rd 1967, aged 67. As I mentioned in my concept sheets, he was friends with Alastor and Mimzy when they were alive and he was the last one of them to die. He would often visit his friends' graves when he was still alive :(

[fuxuannie]

HIII I FOLLOWED U RECENTLY AND IM LITERALLY JUST BLOWN AWAY BY UR WORKS I LOVE THEMMN

okay listen listen listen. what are ur thoughts on enemies to lovers w dan heng.

OR OR OR WITH GEPARD (idk how thatll work but the idea is very appealing to me AHUEHDUE)

(also i saw it was ur birthday yesterday!! happy belated birthday 🥳🥳 stay healthy n safe, dont forget to hydrate and eat :D)

- idk can i be 😟 anon (my face 24/7 LMAO)

↳ pairing : (seperate) gepard landau & dan heng x gender neutral reader

↳ synopsis : request ♡

↳ authors note : dan hengs is more or less a joke bc i genuinely couldnt think of much for him im SORRYANSBDNS thank you smmm for the sweet messages they rlly warm my heart

☆☆ ONE BED TROPE ⁉️

When the peace between the Overworld and Underworld was established, you and Gepard both agreed that it didn't mean that suddenly you and him were buddy-buddy now. However, with Seele and Bronya becoming allies, it meant that you and Gepard were more often than not being assigned to work side by side.

And with that arrangment coming along, that's what brought you here. In an abandoned building, sitting on a bed with Gepard kneeling between your legs as he bandaged your bruises. "You know, if anyone sees this the angle looks really-"

"Shut up."

You smirk at his fluster, seeing the slight shade of pink that he tries to hide. In return, he not so nicely pulls on the bandages around you, tightening them in a way that was nearly suffocating. "Ow!-"

You won't deny that Gepard was an insanely pretty man, his soft skin and gentle features complimented his.. annoyingly kind soul for those who needed his assistance. He was loved by many, and you couldn't really blame people. Just cause you both were on opposite sides didn't mean you couldn't acknowledge his determination to protect others.

"Your injuries are fatal. We can move by morning, just rest for now."

You look around the room, mostly to ignore how he takes off his heavy armor to to rest properly. "You know it's.. there's only one relatively comfortable place to sleep in, right? Or in other words.. there's only one bed?"

Gepard nods with a sigh, your eyes finally turning back to him as he tries to lay on the floor and use his arm as a pillow. "Yeah. And you're hurt, so you can have it."

He ignores your pitiful stare, closing his eyes until he hears you clear your throat and opening one of them slightly. "It's.. cold. And there's.. enough room."

"Oh? And won't this look like a suggestive-"

"Shut up!"

You ignore his laughter as he stands up, feeling him ruffle your hair as you look up at him. "Asshole. Just.. sleep, will you?"

"Gladly. If it means I won't have to look at your face anymore."

"You know I'm pretty." "Maybe, but you're infuriating."

"Wait, what?"

☆☆ BITTER EXES WHO HUNTS THE OTHER DOWN

Maybe that description was a little detailed, but wouldn't it be funny if you were DAN HENG's ex and you were so pissed at him you joined the Stellaron Hunters. Blade himself started hating him a little more after hearing you rant about him for the 10th time in a day. (He's more pissed that he made you that way and now has to deal with it.)

So when you caught up to him in Luofu, even if you swore to Blade you wouldn't do anything until his business with Dan Heng was over, you just couldn't resist just having a little bite. Just for your own enjoyment.

"How have you been?" "I've been better, especially since you're holding a knife to my throat and pinning me against a wall."

You scoff at his remark while pushing the blade closer towards his neck, not quite enough to cut but grazing his skin to a point he can feel the cold metal. "Shut up."

"Good to know you're still angry at me."

"Why wouldn't I be? You left me with nothing but a poorly written note that had nothing but 'Goodbye.' on it."

That got a little reaction out of him which was him clearing his throat. "Seems like you haven't forgotten either."

"No it's more.. did you not see the other one I left you?" "There was another??"

You and him exchange awkward glances, you eventually pull the knife away from his neck and take a few steps back.

"If it matters at all, you're still really pretty."

"Seriously, now of all times I-"

You laugh a little, causing the familiar feeling of Dan Heng's heart skipping a beat as he looks off to the side. "..Whatever. Just because we had this.. whatever this was, it doesn't mean you're off the hook. You're still gonna be a dead man, I promise you that much."

Dan Heng watched you leave the shadows, until you were out of sight was when he laughed a little. "It's a little odd I found that stupidly attractive but.." He shrugs to himself, not like anyone will know.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Shadow of the Past

"The blame was mostly laid on Gandalf." Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a Disturber of the Peace...

Something about "but the growth of hobbit-sense was not very noticeable" cracks me up

I love the fact that Frodo kept throwing birthday parties for Bilbo after he left. It's so sweet.

I would much rather go to Frodo’s Hundred-weight Feast than Bilbo’s Party of Special Magnificence, actually; twenty guests and several meals “at which it snowed food and rained drink” sounds much more my speed X-D

“Bilbo isn’t dead.” “Where is he then?” “🤷‍♂️”

F in the chat for Folco Boffin, who was mentioned like once in this chapter and never comes into the story again

"Merry and Pippin suspected that [Frodo] visited the Elves at times, as Bilbo had done." TEA???

Frodo's wandering in the autumn has such an evocative and melancholy feeling to it. So much so that I wrote a poem about it last year...

Part Two of me wishing the movies could have shown the Dwarves passing through the Shire on their way to the Blue Mountains

Sam be like "Dragons and Ents are real, I tell you!" and Ted Sandyman like "press X to doubt"

Our first glimpse of Sam's unassailable trust in Frodo and his wisdom 💚

And now! Exposition dumping, with Gandalf.

I hate the fact that I can't see or hear the word Eregion without getting war flashbacks to Amazon's Rings of Poopy

Ooh, remind me to write an essay about the invisibility power of the Ring(s)...

"[Bilbo] would certainly never have passed on to you anything that he thought would be a danger." Oh boy, would you look at the time, it's Crying About Adoptive Relationships O'clock

"'There wasn't any permanent harm done, was there?' asked Frodo anxiously. 'He would get all right in time, wouldn't he? Be able to rest in peace, I mean.'" OH BOY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—

Literally Gandalf: "Hobbits are my special interest"

"It is quite cool." It sure is, Gandalf. Wicked. Radical, even.

Low-hanging fruit, I know, but I had to 🤣

Speaking of low-hanging fruit, here's a joke I made two years ago about the "until Spring had passed into Winter" line:

He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night/Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite/The turtles started walkin' there as Lance began to swing/The one that lived across the street arrived there in the spring...!

"I wish it need not have happened in my time." "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." Still a line that goes so, so hard, right in the middle of this exposition dump.

I like how in Gandalf's story, he makes Deagol talk normally, but Smeagol still has all those verbal idiosyncrasies that are iconic to Gollum.

I'm still trying to remember who it was that pointed out that the last syllable of Smeagol is the first syllable of Gollum. Blew my mind when I saw that, I tell ya.

"I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought." "It is not." 🤣🤣🤣

The thought of Gollum creeping through a window to snatch a baby from a cradle and eat it is at least seventeen different kinds of Not Fun. Thanks, Tolkien.

I have very little to say about Gandalf's retelling of the Ring's story—and Frodo's frightened and naive questions—except that it's almost as hard to tear your eyes away from the book as it is for Frodo to throw the Ring into the fire.

"I do really wish to destroy it! Or, well, to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests." Oh, Frodo, bby...

I love how Sam's spying is so artfully foreshadowed here X-D You just go whistling away down that path, buddy! Nobody suspects a thing!

All Frodo has to say is "I suppose I'll have to go running into danger alone to keep everything and everyone I love safe, even if it means never coming home again; it's a pity, but I'll do it" and Gandalf is like "Frodo have I mentioned lately how much I love you and hobbits in general". Which. Mood! Big mood!

SUDDENLY, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Good gracious did I need Sam and his comic relief after this heavy chapter X-D Bless you, Sam, you loveable dummy

I wonder what hobbit idiom Tolkien "translated" into "Lor bless you, sir". I'm not sure the hobbits have a concept of Eru Illuvatar as a benevolent God who hands out blessings; and if they do, I somehow doubt they'd have quaint little figures of speech like this. But I'm just nitpicking at this point because it's fun.

"There ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's a fact." SAM 🤣🤣

"Mr. Frodo, sir! Don't let him hurt me, sir! Don't let him turn me into anything unnatural! My old dad would take on so." Have I mentioned that I love the heck out of Sam?

Frodo is "hardly able to keep from laughing", which, MOOD!

Sam heard that Mr. Frodo was going away and audibly choked. GAH I love him so much

Frodo sure knows how to threaten Sam LOL

"If you even breathe a word of what you've heard here, then I hope Gandalf will turn you into a spotted toad and fill the garden full of grass-snakes." 🤣🤣

"'Me, sir!' cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk. 'Me go and see Elves and all! Hooray!' he shouted, and then burst into tears." Oh, Sam. I love you.

[gumnut-logic]

::whispers and muffled giggling outside::

"Shh! Keep quiet."

"Why? It's not like she can hear us."

"I dunno. It's meant to be a surprise, and that kind of translates as needing to be quiet, guess." ::shrug::

"Quit it you two. Just leave the goodies here."

"Do you think the cake will be okay? I mean not everyone can eat cake - health concerns, allergies and stuff."

"It'll be fine. It's the thought that counts. Plus she has family and friends to share with."

"And there are plenty of other snacks in the basket."

"Should we light the candles?"

::halfhearted shove::

"We don't know how long it will be before she finds it, dopey!"

"Leave the candles unlit. No fire hazards in this surprise."

"Did everyone sign the card?"

::nods from all::

"What about the present?"

"Inside the card. Gift certificates for art supplies, beading supplies and yarn store."

"And my recording."

"Gordon, no-one needs to hear you sing the Birthday song in five different languages."

"But, yes, that's in there too."

A very happy birthday to you Nutty! (I really hope I have the day right!!)

Oh, wow! ::tackle hugs you to the ground::

Yes, it is indeed one day after Gordo's birthday and exactly six months before Virgil's, so it is NUTTY DAY!

I love this! You are so kind to me ::tackle hugs you some more::

And Gordy, bday buddy, you can sing all you like :D

And yes, I read the green lines a few extra times cos they are green :D

::hugs you silly::

Nutty

(inclined to bring on the Virg a little more now I'm finally home and free :D )

[huenistar]

Hi! It's 👻 anon. Since we both are having fun in sharing my txt dr stories, I'm here to share more. HEHE! This one time when IM and I were doing the sunu-sunu 😉, Joohoney (his group member) walked in on us accidentally because any sounds weren't audible since IM had my mouth covered with his bag ass hand and also because him room is soundproofed. It was so awkward, I ended up crying and IM comforted me in his arms until I feel asleep in them. (It wasn't scripted)

One of IM's group members once said that they saw him sitting naked on a chair once, and he had the biggest "monster" (they meant is d) they had ever seen. It's true, he puts in monster in the Monsta X. A little bit TMI, but, I panicked when I first saw it. I didn't want anything to do with it tbh. I was scared it. But IM was very loving and gentle and talked me through the whole thing and then we cuddled and ate, and watched a movie until we feel asleep. He threw a bath after the whole thing and it was just so perfect. (None of it was scripted)

Yeah, Leonardo did it publicly when I was just 19. It was soon after txt's debut. I was already famous before txt's debut cuz I had appeared in many movies and shows, and did music producer, song writing etc work. I did all that work because my debut was delayed by a lot since I didn't end up in BTS. (work before bts debut, the whole bts thing, none of it was scripted.)

I never gave an answer to Leonardo, but Yoongi was FURIOUS. I had never seen him get this angry. He broke a whiskey bottle in anger by throwing it on the wall, which obv scared. He apologised so much and then comforted me. (None of it was scripted and I was genuinely so scared at that time)

I got so many gifts, EXPENSIVE gifts from my fans. It was a bit overwhelming. On my birthdays, my solo fans and group fans quite literally rented all the billboards in South Korea, New York, California, DUBAI!!!!! and London, and had like my pictures and videos playing for the whole day. (I don't even know why that happened, cuz I didn't script any of it and I was so overwhelmed) One of the sheikhs of Dubai sent me a Pink Porsche as a fucking gift. IM was very upset about that thing, since we were dating at that time. He didn't like it one bit. (Again, this too wasn't scripted) I'm sharing all the un scripted that happened to me. And honestly, I'm still not available to comprehend by these things happened, because usually people script all this. I mean what kind of self concept did I have to experience all this? It was crazy. I might shift there once again some time.

WOAH WOAH WOAH ghost anon is getting FREAKY😭😭 hold ur horses buddy!! but hes so sweet!! and im still in disbelief that he actually did that.. leonardo dicaprio shall be EXECUTED ON LIVE TELEVISION RIGHT NOW.

ALL THE BILBOARDS IN SOUTH KOREA, NEW YORK, CALI, DUBAI????, AND LONDON??? god damn ur fans are rich… AND A PINK PORSCHE??? A WHOLE CARRR??? so not only are u famous n rich, UR FANS ARE ALSO RICH???

i love hearing unscripted stuff cause it reminds me that stuff can happen even if i dont script it like it reminds me that shifting is real…

and like damn… u just listed half of my script man (EXCLUDING THAT FREAKY ASS SECTION AT THE BEGINNING AND THE LEONARDO DICAPRIO THING)

[matan4il]

Good morning, sweet Alice!! I hope everything is OK with you. I was off for a bit and am catching up. I just want to say thank you for sharing your personal story about being scared at the museum. I am so sorry you felt that way, but I do think it's important to spread awareness since the media clearly won't. I am often shocked sometimes when I talk to someone who just doesn't get how bad antisemitism has gotten. We are in grant writing season for the festival, and weekly, I talk to people from all over about what they face. Especially those who traveled to Isreal over the holidays. Sometimes, actually hearing it from someone they know carries so much more weight than something you glance over in the news. So thank you, and if there is anything we can ever do help, I hope you say so. BTW isn't your birthday approaching?

And just to throw in some Buddie love.. I was dying at the team putting them in those suits for their oceans 11 poker night. Like we saw them suit up for Hens wedding and they were super fine.. However, can I just add those suits were a level up and definitely a statement. Just a loud total statement. Can you imagine 2 over 30 guys you know showing up anywhere looking like that and you are just like, look the 2 super hedro platonic crime fighting raising kid together duo arrived to the party and there is absolutely everything normal about their outfits!! So as always to the 911 tem I thank you!!

Hi hon! I'm so happy to hear from you! I noticed you went a bit quiet, and was just hoping everything's alright for you... I'm really glad to hear you are! *picks you up and twirls you round*

And no, thank YOU for being so kind to me! I really can't express how much it means to me. So I'm just gonna have to hug you extra tight, if that's okay? And yeah, the media is a business. It will only tell the story it thinks it can gain something from. I am CONSTANTLY shocked by how bad antisemitism is getting, and how little is done about it. I have a post queued up that, to say it shocked me is just... not enough. I could post once every single day about the rise in antisemitism, and it still wouldn't be enough. It breaks my heart to hear from Jewish kids who visit our Holocaust museum about how they're harassed and bullied for sharing that they're going to Israel to see family, friends or even simply to get to see the sights of their ancestral homeland. It's insane to me that this is what we've come to less than 100 years after the end of the Holocaust. No "Never again!" statement is worth a damn thing if this is how Jewish kids get treated. Thank you again, for listening to the voices of distressed Jews, for wanting to hear us, for being so kind to us when we speak! I did say a few words here about what can be done for starters. But really, anything to raise awareness regarding how Jews are being targeted worldwide. In this context, thank you for what you do at your job, too! *HUGS FOREVER*

Aaaah, my birthday! I haven't had a chance to think about it with everything that's been going on in real life. XD It's less than two months away, I was born June 5th. Thank you for caring about it! :***

LOL I couldn't agree with you more regarding Buddie and their VERY OBVIOUS DATE COUTURE. Like, their suits for the Henren wedding were respectable. Their suits for the poker date were MEANT TO ENTICE. They were SHARP and SEDUCTIVE. Even on the level of the fabrics chosen for the suits! Let alone the colors, they way our boys carried themselves in them, and the way the suits worked together to make them look like an actual couple, almost as if they coordinated beforehand. There was NOTHING platonic about ANY of the poker shenanigans, suits included, and I still feel half mad whenever I think about it. ;D

Thank you so much again, my darling! I hope you're having a good day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[psychedelicmadness666]

The Long Lost Love of a Friend from School (Part 1)

I liked this girl at school. It was January 2, 2018, the first day we met. It was English class and she was annoying at first. I'll admit but she grew on me. I liked her after me and her started talking. We were desk partners at the time. When we would get bored in class, she would start to draw on my notebook and I still have them to this day. Although sadly, I no longer want to associate with her and her games anymore. It was a good memento of the good times with her. I remember she would always make me feel safe and secure. It was pure natural blissful euphoria being around her. I would love to make her smile by saying the most stupidest shit ever. I was working at McDonalds and she was working at Taco Bell. I remember her birthday and kept it as my password for my iPhone. She would remember mine too as we both had close birthdays. I was 4 days older than her. I thought she was very beautiful and the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen, it was green. I loved her long hair and her bubbly personality. She was very extroverted and had a lot of friends. And then there was me, the most isolated, shy, but outgoing when you get to really know me. She laughed at my dumb edgy jokes. She would always yell my name when she would see me and get me a big hug :) I miss that and I even tear up thinking about it sometimes. She meant everything to me. Me and her would always walk home together and talk about our lives. I remember her telling about her friends and family. I even remember at one point holding her hand at one point. It was a brief second though. I even threw up in front of her and she was ok with it :D hahaha. It was pretty funny. I was walking with her and I had a lot of soda to drink. One day, I was thinking about giving her chocolates and flowers for Valentines Day but the sad part was she wasn't there in class. I was devastated and heartbroken. I wanted to make her happy. And until this day I still am heartbroken from that. I still think about her and what would have happen if she was there. My mental health started to decline. I started to get delusional and got more anxiety. I thought I was ugly and deserved nothing. My "friends" bullied me for being a pussy and not asking her out and kept forcing me to ask her out. They wouldn't fuck off. I hate them so much for that. We were still desk buddies when the others traded seats. The teacher even enjoyed as being together. We hang out a couple of times and had a Snapchat streak. There would be times where I would be upset with her because she basically told me to go away because she was frustrated with something. I was sad, went home, and cried. She later then apologized. I accepted her apology. I remember bringing her a chicken and she was scared of it haha. I loved her cute little scream. I hang out with her again the following week and it was midnight and we were playing fucking Mario Kart 8. I should have been honest with my feelings with her from then and there. After that day, we hang out. We started to drift apart. My anxiety spiked like fucking hell. I was terrified of speaking to her and as because I thought I was a piece of shit retard that deserved to die. I was going through sexual trauma at my job. Some woman in her 30s was molesting me multiple times. She would grope me and try to tickle me when I didn't want to be touched. I hate that FUCKING feeling and hate that woman for it and I hope she burns in Hell. So, I would get nervous to all high Hell talking to her to the point where I would want to vomit. I avoided her at all costs, only to make things worse. It was basically my fault. I hate myself for it and since then I hate myself for it now. I think about suicide every day because of it. The emotions were so strong. I started to abuse drugs just so I can forget about her. LSD, weed, alcohol, Adderall, etc. It just broke my heart that I couldn't take to her anymore because of my anxiety towards her. I thought she hated me and no matter what she says about me, I still feel like a loser to her and that I have no value meaning to her.

[thebloomingbodygraph]

it's a definition thing

Sometimes you meet those people who just get you. You know, the ones you don't have to explain things to... the ones you can live senses wide open next to... the ones who can understand your silence.

Sometimes you meet those people that just fit. It's almost inexplainable the way they settle into the spot in your life/heart/space, as if they were always meant to be there, and somehow, in perfect timing, just showed up.

That happened to me this weekend.

I met an incredible person through a facebook group, where I'd posted seeking out some chosen family, after the hardest years of having no famililal network. I explained in this group that I'm no-contact with my parents, that it's hard, and that it's been a lonely three years full of therapy, healing, and grief. And that at this point in my process I'm really seeking out chosen family. I listed a little bit about me, what I'm into, and someone I was looking for. Enter Jen.

Jen is a rockstar, barely old enough to be my mom, and one of the literal most awesome people I've ever met. She showed up to breakfast with me this past weekend in a shirt with a Bee on it that said (bee) kind. She didn't know bees are a symbol for me of trusting the process, sweetness, and allowing yourself to enjoy.

Jen and I had breakfast for three hours.

It was the best morning. I had my favorite food, we talked about everything from family to our favorite shows, and we've got plans for mediterranean food and sedona trips. She even wants to come support my kid at his extracurriculars! WHAT!

Part of me knew that it was time. Time to reach out to the ether and signal my readiness. Time to magnetize the chosen family I want around. Time to breathe life into who I'm wanting to become, and that means building my community. And there is another part of me who is REALLY shocked at how amazing I feel having some chosen people around. Like... I knew it would feel good... but THIS GOOD? This wholesome? This nourishing? This emotional?

Her husband is from my hometown. Her birthday is coming up and I get to celebrate her. Her cats are named after witches.

I couldn't have scripted this better.

And that's why definition is so important -- because when it's right, it's right. You just know. You fit together like puzzle pieces when your openness, bridges, etc are bridged and complemented by someone else. In Human Design, the spots you have open or undefined can be "filled in" or bridged by someone's defined centers. I describe this like layers of tissue paper; when we're together we can "lay over" someone else's design and have access to different energy patterns than we would on our own.

I don't know Jen's design yet. But I have a hunch that our wiring will complement SO MUCH. Because I felt it in person. I know we're on the same line of geometry -- the same "fractal" as HD calls it. I usually call this "fractal buddies" when I teach. :D

It's that feeling of definition being shared, when someone's wiring complements yours, and when you can be fully yourself, in unison with them being fully themselves.

My root, sacral, ajna, and crown are undefined... my crown is completely open. I'm curious what Jen's design is, and if I had to guess, I would bet she's a fellow projector, or perhaps a MG. I felt her aura poke and bubble me so much, and the questions she asked were PHENOMENAL.

Just goes to show you that even when you're separated by time and space, the souls that want to do life together will... and the ones who want to bounce out (á la my bio parents), will.

Trusting that the fractal is flawless, that everyone meant for you won't miss you... has given me the most peace.

I'm curious if she bridges my split at 26... we will see!

[benefits1986]

Sacred Sunday

Thank you, Gary Vee for waking me up, inside out... yet again. To more curation of female-empowered content! Just in time.  Why do I keep my weekends sacred? I remember how Haruki Murakami noted that even your best stuff get spoiled when you don’t give yourself a break; be it in work or in whatever you’re too busy with. His book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running is a good read and I keep re-reading it. While I won’t be running anytime soon, I’d sub this with biking, walking and volunteering. Just have to rework my schedule in time for Juno szn that’s coming very, very soon. I am soooooo pumped to start a new chapter wherever the tides and the rides take me. :)  More so, had my unfair share of working on weekends ages ago and that led to spirals because my personal connections and pursuits had really major damages. I thought back then that weekends are meant to buy more time to hit more and more numbers just in time for yet another Monday. I realized that while this can happen during very special circumstances, the truth is, organizations that respect THE PAUSE are worthwhile.  This weekend, I was able to do the following stuff:  -Gave my 3 doggos a really good check because they had LBM for the past days -Anxiety management of Vidi + lump has been addressed but we have to super duper check because, mahirap na if masalisihan kami nito  -Sessions with my dad about new terms he’s hearing in my meetings + turuan siya maghanap ng legit deals in Lazada and websites because his feed is tatad ng mga dubious ads :D LELS (ayusin ko settings ng phone neto pero makulit, mhie) + LazMall vs Zalora vs apps he can check in his phone (ending: sige na, ako na bibili. Send me the link, dad. LOL. Pero syempre, may bigla na lang darating na package sa bahay tapos tatawa lang siya o maiinis kasi papagalitan ko na naman siya ‘pag ‘di legit ‘yung binili niya on his own. UGH. Boomer Weekends!!!)  -Iron my clothes as I wished that mother dragon is here to iron each crease because I abhor this chore to the core; but, I have to do it  -Requested dad to sulsi my clothes because I really don’t have the patience and the skills to sulsi them on my own  -Got my sheets and clothes from my suki laundry shop because water supply is not cooperating and while I love doing the laundry, mhie, ‘di makatao na gigising akong super aga or matulog super late, ‘di pa rin tapos labada ko after 4 hours :(  -Cleaned the fridge a bit and cooked food  -Had a massage for me and tatay kong pakitong-kitong  -HL budol c/o my gamer brother (JUSQ, mhie)  -run errands for my friend who’s a June bride (tawang-tawa ako sa pagluha niya because of this tiny errand tbh sa restroom ng office of all places at habang nagmumumog ako at siya rin)  -Maglinis ng CR :D :D :D  -Booksale Visit because why not?  -Check halaman and talk to them in time for tiny house vertical gardening so we can emulate Hedera x Cobonpue CHZ  -Bills, bills, bills, bills :D  -Checking on Zee who celebrated her 11th birthday; she’s a Potterhead queer baby in my eye pa rin kahit she totally has a mind of her own and Canadian na talaga siya; ‘di na Pinoy :D LOL  -Aligned with OG travel buddies about June ganaps because my calendar is full :D Wala ng hahabol  -Ate proper meals and meriendas with dad because this week has been a test of patience and no-mute mic meetings, too (Hassle lang kasi my dogs bark many times all throughout the day. Busalan ko na ba sila para hindi hassle magpatahimik? LOL.)  -Lunch with my brother and checking on him re: PT sessions, blood tests niya, overall health, etc. because he needs to be at his best in time for the birth of his bunso very, very soon  -Kulitan with my soul sister and syempre, meme deluge because it’s our love language -Catching up with Team Panganay because I have to move our ganap to June because... ugh  -Carving a new workspace because my dogs get in the way of meetings that call for NO MUTE MIC :D  -Cold brew x cinnamon x vanilla session because still looking for tea that will not make me poop too much :D  -Handmade letters because wala e, need and want din :D CHZ  -Basura content para mahulas mga podcasts and content na serious masyado :D  -Competitor check na funny but my brother knows them better than me he is an OG gamer and techie person :D LOLLOLLOOLL. Sornnuh.  -Feeding dad with content that he’ll most likely find helpful (UGH. Bigyan ko na ba siyang curated PL sa YT?) But, he now goes beyond Netflix na car chase, sapakan, bardagulan and the like  -Bringing Vici to the mall after his bout with major LBM this week; parang walang ‘di nagkasakit sa pag-gala sa mall (I hate going to the mall, because gastos, pero sige, go, anak. Go lang.)  What to do in the coming weekends:  -HOGWARTS LEGACY :D with my brother dear who loves the game :D Pinauna ko ng binyagan since ‘di rin talaga kasya sa sched ko tapos tuturuan niya ko as a non-gamer girl na baka madarang na ako because HP e. Akala ko mura lang ‘yun, taena. Lagas. So baon na lang ako this week to work.  -Welcome an expat friend to Manila (yet again bilang uuwi na naman siya at magtatanong na naman anong gusto kong pasalubong) + BGC nights with really early mornings (UGH. Katamad ‘to kasi ayoko talaga ng BGC as in pero sige na. Para matapos na.)  -PT sessions with my dad because I need to manage his fucked up way of biking ng walang stretching; sasabayan ko na lang siya para wala siyang kawala and endorse him to my super pak PT doc in the Southside (inception is ongoing)  -Baguio sundot but most likely this won’t happen because K is super higpit na baba ako ng Manila ng gabi to make it to my wellness leave/team building sesh; nag-away na kami kasi I usually go back to Manila from Baguio at around 12 midnight naman talaga pero he can’t allow me to do that just even for Ely’s First Birthday Dinner (Kainis)  -Laguna Bike Rides With MatchaME :D + ina and ama’s lapida (pati ‘to mhie, lista natin here) + family ganaps kahit ayoko talaga na naman since bored talaga ako  -Virgin Lab Fest with my OG travel buddies pero not sure pa here given that we have crazy schedules  -Fete de la Musique if meron this 2023 para iwas-spiral sa nanay kong iniwan ako :D Hahahahahahaha -Tea Time with OG travel buddies because ‘wag naman daw milktea  -Mega video call with soul sister since this is a monthly thing we committed to :D plus continuation of talking about our inner child hanash -Wine with OG marketing dad because birthday niya and though he does not like being greeted on his birthday (like me), may paganaps kaming parating kaya need talaga neto. Will gift him a Brene Brown book tapos kunin ko hard drive niya saka with his PL :D; hanap din akong decent wine na bagay sa personality at saltik niya which I’ve started pero so far, parang wala akong mahanap na pak -Mom’s 11th Birthday in Heaven :D eto ang malala. ‘Di ko pa ‘to hinaharap; but, I need and want to. Time to face this bitch na, for realzzz. Have to be comfy na with seeing her lapida na wala na akong spirals na malala.  -Siargaoooooooooooooooo!!! Enough said because no posting on IG BUT will pour it out here and there + meet up with the locals + secret spots na pak + photo/video walks with my phone + ink design fit for Siargaoooooo which I remember just now na almost same ng time frame ng birthday in heaven ni mother dragon back in 2018 (HUHUHUHUHUHUHU. Kismet na ba ‘to?)  -Probable sundot shot session featuring my friend in her first ever boudoir in time for her wedding I RSVP-d no to, because it’s work day (HUHUHUHUHUHU)   -Schedule my annual mega check up which is so timely given this interview of Huberman with Gottfried Glad to find a string of doctors who are progressive and are pushy, too. LOL. I abhor doc appointments, HOWEVER my mother dragon (who does not go to doc visits before she got GBS), made me promise that I get regularly checked. JUSQ. Though I have yet to master this trauma-inducing promise, I am getting there. Last year, all is good. All is well.  But, at 37, I’ll never know, right? It’s better safe than sorry, I guess. OPAK. Character arc development, right there. Since, I’m learning more and more about female health through the lens of more and more female health experts, I am realizing that being a woman is a high risk on its own. While I don’t have plans of having kids which means I won’t be putting my uterus to its natural use, I have to future-proof my body. :D CHZ. Wow. True na ba ‘to? I don’t intend to live too long naman din, but, I guess, I’m all for managing the symptoms while I can. Pota. Palliative mode na pala ako agad. Tanggap ko na ang dulo at ang hangganan. LOL.  At a time where health is wealth, let this be an important note that in the coming doc visits and interactions, I ought to choose female-empowering health practitioners. I’ve had one too many alignments with health people in general and I’ve been blessed to collaborate with not only the best, but generally empathic ones. Never mind the fact that I had to down that mom was but a case study. Never mind that our only choice was to manage her and go for the “best” quality of life as we defied gravity.  While penning this thought fart, I no longer feel the burn and the lump in my throat. This time, I’m off to make sense of mom’s battle with GBS. So far, I’ve got a clean bill of health, thanks to my organization that values THE PAUSE highly, in general. ;) Thinking of getting a life coach again. Perhaps, I’d go back to my dear life coach who helped me immensely during my toughest times ages ago. Perhaps, more than physical health, it’s time to give much attention to my mental muscles one session at a time, too. LUH.  I remember how taboo mental health is back in 2012. Looking back, I’ve been cancelled ONE TOO MANY TIMES even when I knew people around me meant well. Back then, I didn’t know that I can actually reach out to my people and ask for help. Back then, all I heard where hasty generalizations and slippery slopes were thrown at me. At times, I fought back. Other times, I backed down. These are my silent battles which I didn’t face because, I was seen as too strong, intimidating and aggressive. ‘Yung tipong since kaya ko naman lahat, bawal mapagod. Bawal mag-break down. Or puwede naman, pero out of character ko mag-spiral, ma-out of control, ma-out of focus. LOLOLLOL. :D True naman those, but, when you lose someone who is your life, your light, your everything, everything and anything spirals. ‘Yung usual kong naririnig noon is: You fought a good fight. Cry. Move on. Tapos.  Except for A and R, no one else stayed with me in a way that I want to be taken cared of. The noises are too loud. I found myself voiceless. The voices inside out fucked me up, big time. I failed to find my voice as I masked each emotion, each motion with more and more well-dressed distractions like working on weekends, on holidays, on days and nights when I cry so hard while downing deadlines. I tried numbing my pain by inflicting more and more and more pain until I died inside... until, I found myself fantasizing about dying poetically. I punished myself severely when no one is watching. Emotional eating and starving became my staples depending on my personality split.  A & R never gave up on me. They are my constants. They are my enablers. They are my go-to whenever I burn, I bleed, I die. They bring me back to life even when I no longer wanted to move forward.  May my stories about silent battles be more profound to my audience of none, and my audience of one. May these really bad shit turn into stories that allow at least one soul to learn something without having to go through a similar bad shit I went through, too. May my stories be tiny testaments that mental health should never be joked about and worse, looked down upon. May my stories remind someone that what you think, you become. What you consume, consumes you and your physical body, too.  Next Stop: Neurodivergent Universe ;) in the lens of a career woman whose content I chanced upon last week 

[perksofbeingamaineiac]

November 26, 2022

My first weekend alone. 

I have stayed at D’s house every Friday night for as long as I can think. If I needed to sleep at home for some reason on the weekend I knew I would be seeing him soon. I woke up in my bed this morning, confused on where I was and had reality hit me like a ton of bricks...again. It was also only 6:30am and I don’t need this much time in the day to think and feel this way. I want to go back to sleep at least until 8. I tried turning all the lights off in the room, wearing a sleep mask and breathing. I also messaged a friend on discord. 

We were suppose to go to brunch today. We would have cuddled all night. Maybe even gone to see a movie last night or mini putt like we had been talking about. Something I realized, was he stopped telling me what he wanted and needed. I feel like if I didn’t want to do something he did I tried to find a compromise. He wanted wings, we got wings, he wanted to watch a movie, although I didn’t want to go at the time, I still brought my gift cards there so we could go one day and it was on me. Sure, now I wish I did all the things he ever wanted, just because maybe he would still like me. That is a toxic way of thinking though. I was comfortable saying no, and finding a way to make it work. Also he has friends he could have gone with. He also could have chosen to say no to me for things, and I guess he didn’t. I mean there were times he said no, like to mini putt, and then all of a sudden wanted to do it. I had called him out on it, he is allowed to change his mind, and I was still open to going. 

I wish we could talk it through. I think everything hurts more because he cut me off completely, and I am sad I allowed it. I couldn’t think straight, there are even things I said I wish I hadn’t. I want to see what his journal looks like. Compare notes. 

One thing online I saw about how to get over someone quickly was to understand what you can take from the relationship. Check ins, I have used them in the past for fuck buddies, why did I think I didn’t need to do this in a relationship. Apparently getting the back and forth wasn’t enough, maybe there needs to be the question of “how do you feel about this relationship?” “what can we do better?”. Although I think this is where I was going with question or highlight. I wanted us to see the good in a bad day, but also ask any questions if we weren’t certain. I had thought of asking a few times, and I mean I technically did once, even though I followed it up with “its a joke”. 

Yesterday I went to brunch with my cousin for her birthday. We ended up talking about my relationship. I left there smiling. I did feel a little better. I also went to go pick up my dresses yesterday, the lady why does my facials was there (they own it) and I told her, we had a long conversation and they are having me go out to dinner with everyone tomorrow for her daughters birthday. My sister was already going. I got home and did some work or tried... I ended up calling my old snake boss and we chatted for a while. The one time he asks a personal question its “how’’s your boyfriend” and of course I had to tell him. I made a couple of jokes here and there. I also reached out to James, as the last person to make me feel like I wasn’t enough. I think I just wanted his opinion on the situation as a dude who has no ties to any of it. Of course he wanted more after and I just told him no, I am not ready. I already feel guilty for talking to so many people about it, but this is how I am coping. If I stayed quiet and didn’t say anything I would be hurting a lot worse. I will not talk badly about D though. People have said “he’s a dick” and I defend him. I don’t think he is, and I don’t think he ever meant for this to go this way. Despite how many pieces my heart is in, he is a good person. I know he isn’t having an easy time right now either. 

I wish he would just message me and I could go over there and hug him and we could figure this all out together. We could take a few steps back and break down our relationship and maybe fill in some gaps. Make sure were both on the same page and put practices in place to make sure we never go off the rails again. 

I always had that list of questions I wanted to go through and we never did. I feel like that would have also helped. We ran instead of walked and I just went with it. I let go for once, and this is what happened. I don’t believe he doesn’t have feelings. I just need him to talk to me about it. I need him to not erase me from his life. 

I think I am going to feel guilty about having other people in my life, until we talk. I only want other people in my life to fill the void. I don’t expect anything more from them. I also have it in my head that if I start talking to these people in any way other than flirting I am betraying him, or I never actually liked him. I feel guilty. I wasn’t the one who made this decision though, and I would do anything to be back in his arms right now. I just don’t want to sit here and feel sorry for myself. If he did come to me and asked me if I had been talking to people I would admit I reached out to old contacts that I knew I could use as a bandaid. Thats what they are. 

I keep thinking about all the things that could have changed this. Us not fucking on that cottage trip we had, even though we had other intimate moments that meant more to me, at least. What if I ended up going to golf with him, which I wanted and told him I would make time to do, but when I asked he didn’t make it a priority. Then went “I wish we went”. Maybe I could have tried harder, but he often went back on the things he wanted. He wanted my help filming his guitar videos and I always told him I would, but then we never did it. Then he said he felt silly posting videos online. I think it also had something to do with his age. He is very hard on himself and I know he has issues with aging, it not fun, but he needs to start enjoying the moments instead of dwelling on time, or its going to keep passing by and he wont be happy. Which is already where he is at. He is just young enough to change it. 

There are some things I thought about while in the relationship, that I was like, maybe this isn’t what I want because it would make my life difficult. I did also see it as I have a man who makes my life easy, so whats 20 extra minutes in the morning and on my way home. At least I would be going home to him. It was when he said he was looking at houses on the other side of the city. The side I am not used to. We did have a conversation about it and the conclusion came down to, everyone he knows is on the east side, and its close enough to everyone I know. Plus it was easier for him for work (again, what about me). It was his house and I was just happy to be part of his plans. We had discussed it being temporary regardless. Neither of us wanted to stay in the city long term and that was all I really wanted at the end of the day. 

I think what excited me the most was he had a plan and I just had to be added to it. 

I just sat here for an hour looking through google and where I have been. I made a list of all the things we did together. If this is what I need to do to heal, sure. I hope he sees it. I also made him the playlist I was suppose to make him over a month ago. I always showed him the songs I wanted regardless, he just put mine in a playlist. Maybe I should get out of bed now. I have been sitting here since 6:40. Im debating messaging Charles. 

[donutloverxo]

Stevie's new beard

*gif by @marvelheroes*

Birthday shot #2 & Kinktober day 8 - Beard kink

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Summary - You have some strong feelings about Steve’s new look.

Warnings - 18+ only please, smut(m/f), dom Steve, daddy kink.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x female reader

Word count - 2.5k

Masterlists are linked in the bio!

One more swift turn over the corner, your eyes squinting as you tried to concentrate, “That’ll show him,” grumbling under your breathe, pressing the scissors down, “done.” With a smirk on your face.

You had been working on cutting out Steve’s face from your honeymoon album. An album you had spent hours on, your blood, sweet and tears, literally, you must’ve gotten like five paper cuts working on it. But none of that mattered. You were mad.

No, you were fuming.

The previous year, you hadn’t been able to celebrate your birthday with Steve since he was called on an emergency mission. Which was fine at the time you had only been dating for a few weeks. And when he went to Siberia over a month ago, you thought he’d be back for your birthday for sure. Then you’d get to have him pamper you and baby you for the whole day, not that you needed such an excuse, but still.

It was one in the morning, your birthday had already started and you doubted that Steve would be able to make it. He had gone silent a week ago, for his teams and your safety.

Well, by the time he’s back you’ll have cut him out of all your pictures. Maybe you’d even go stay at your sister’s for a while. You missed her and needed a vacation and teach Steve a lesson. You wouldn’t be back until he’s growling on his knees - begging for your forgiveness.

Or maybe... he wouldn’t care. Maybe he’d be glad that you’re gone. You didn’t know what you’d do if that happened, you always seem to be weighing him down. You understood that being married to Captain America meant that you had to share him with the rest of the world. Most of times, you were alright with that. You didn’t care much for the Captain, he was fine but he was no Steve Rogers.

You sighed, giving up on your little project, thinking about maybe calling it a night. Hopefully your friends remember your birthday and do something special for you.

Slipping into Steve’s t-shirt – because as much as you were mad at him, you really did miss him. This was the longest you had been away from him.

Fluffing your pillow, keeping Mister Steebie next to you, you climbed on top of it. Ready to switch off the lights -

“Hey there, sweetheart,” you gasped when you heard the low rumble, clutching your neck, taken aback and panting.

Taking a deep breathe, you looked at your door over your shoulder, sighing when you noticed it’s Steve.

Except it wasn’t...?

“What the fuck?” you frowned and did a double take.

Getting off your bed and walking over to the door. He was still dressed in his dark stealth suit, his dirty blonde hair swept back, his jaw covered in a thick beard - a few shades darker than his hair.

You stopped a few steps away from him, taking in his new look. You didn’t know what to make of it but it did make you shiver - for some reason.

Your lips pressed in a flat line as you stared at him. He spread his arms out, in an attempt to hug you, probably, trying to close the distance between you but you took a step back. Eyeing him suspiciously.

“What’s wrong, doll?” he tilted his head to the side, giving you his Disney eyes.

“What’s wrong with your face?” you spat.

“What do you mean?” his eyebrows scrunched together as he rubbed a hand over his beard.

“Don’t do that!” you admonished him, folding your hands under your titts, perking them up.

“Do what?” scratching his beard, “You’re not making any sense, doll. Didn’t you miss me?”

“I did,” you huffed, “Do you know what date it is?”

“Yes, I do know. That’s why I’m here. I got back as soon as the mission wrapped up. Now come here and let me give you a birthday kiss,” extending an arm towards you.

“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head.

“Why?” he pouted. “I made it back in time, just like I said I would. I missed you, come on just one kiss... wait a minute. Is this about the beard?” You nodded. “You hate it? Tony said you would, I just didn’t have time to shave. I’ll go do it now then.” Since he was desperate for kisses and cuddles.

“No, don’t!” You pressed a palm on his chest, in an effort to stop him. “I mean, sure if you want to... but I don’t hate it. It’s kind of the opposite... I think. I just need time to process this.”

“Doll,” he exasperated, sighing, 'politely’ trying to tell you off. “I’m tired. And you’re really not making any sense.”

“I just fucking love your beard, ok!” you snapped. Your cheeks heating up at the brash confession. Clenching your thighs together. You shouldn’t like it as much as you did. It hides Steve’s beautiful face and makes him look so feral and dangerous. So not Steve.

“Really?” he quirked a brow, pulling you flush against his chest, “how much do you like it, puppy?”

“I - I don’t know...” Still embarrassed, you hide your face over his heart, rubbing your cheek against the rough kevlar of his suit. “I like it a lot, I think. Please keep it?”

He hummed, “But you won’t even look at me.”

“It’s a lot to take in, okay? It’s like, ugh remember when you saw me in my wedding dress?”

He'd never forget, he had cried like a baby. “This is nothing like that,” he rolled his eyes.

“It’s... give me some time. Small steps.” Bringing up a shaky hand to touch his soft fuzzy jaw, “Oh! Remember that time I bought that forties style nightie. And you went to town on me?” looking up at him, “This is like that.”

He nodded, finally understanding. “I get it, doll. But I’m afraid I don’t have time for ‘small steps’. I missed you so much,” Rutting his erection into your belly - as if to physically prove it. “And I need to make your birthday special. Treat the birthday girl right, huh?” He pressed his thumb on your cheekbone, caressing it, dipping his neck down to kiss you but you pulled away.

You hugged him again, standing on your tippy toes and nuzzling your nose in the crook his neck, his beard tickling you ever so slightly.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it. That I’d be all alone.” You whined. And then he comes back looking this good! Making it impossible for you to stay mad at him.

“Of course, I made it. Couldn’t let my best girl be alone. Now let me kiss you,” you shook your head again, “fine then. We can do your small steps. Let me eat you out,” biting the shell of your ear, “I’m hungry, doll.”

There was no way you could say no to that. “Oh - okay,” you gulped a huge lump of air.

Suddenly, he swept you off your feet, throwing you over his shoulder, his hand kneading your ass before smacking it, “Missed this sweet ass too.” he said, throwing you on top of the mattress. “I like this shirt on you, pup,” he smiled, his heart swelled as he felt strangely possessive of you, hovering above you, “But it had to come off.”

With a lack of finesse, his greedy hands ripped the poor clothing to shreds. He hadn’t gone so long without you. He needed to be inside you as soon as he could.

“Stevie!” You tried to chastise him.

He threw the shirt away, growling at the sight of your naked breasts, your hard pebbles, your hands coming up to cover them from his dark eyes. That won’t do, he pulled them away, pinning them beside your head. “What do you think you’re doing?” he frowned

You shuddered. Really, a beard shouldn’t make that much of a significant difference but it made him all the more intimidating. “Sorry, daddy.” You pouted. If nothing else, the D-word always worked.

He shook his head, capturing a nipple in his mouth, grazing it with his teeth. He made sure to run his beard over your breast. Letting go of your twisting hand as it clenched on the back of his head. Your back arching, pushing more your body to him.

With a loud ‘pop’ he let go of your hard nub, shoving two fingers in your mouth and ordering you to suck and like he obedient doll you were - you followed.

He pulled his fingers out, snaking his hand between your legs, dipping them in your heat. Then he noticed it and frowned.

Looking to his side, a sack of flour? No, looked fluffy enough to be cotton. “What is this?” he wanted to know.

You were too far gone to even register his words but you vaguely heard him. You bit your lip, following his eyes. “Oh, that’s Mister Steebie.”

“What?”

“That’s you. I missed you and I needed a cuddle buddy. So I stuffed some cotton in a sack, dressed him in your flannel and drew your face on him.”

His 'face' was just two dots with a blue sharpie, golden hair on his head and a pink mouth. “It’s cute.” he chuckled, grabbing ‘Steebie' and putting him on the floor, “But you don’t need him. You have the real thing now,” he reminded you, trailing kisses down your body, pushing your thighs apart to make room for him and settling between them.

“I suppose I should upgrade him now. Draw the beard on. I wonder if I have a brown sharpie,” you mused, yelping when you felt his teeth grazing over your clit. “God!” you heaved, propping yourself up on your elbows you looked down at him. A few strands of his hair had fallen on his forehead, he looked ethereal. “You’re so pretty, Stevie.” Your hand caressing his face.

He leaned into it, having been touch starved for over a month. “You’re the pretty one, pup. Now, will you be good for me? Let me treat my birthday girl right?”

You nodded. Laying back down, running your fingers through his longer locks.

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” he asked

“No, I followed your rules.”

“Good, I didn’t either.” Not that he had the time or space to anyway. But he wanted to save himself for you.

“Thor told me, women like a nice thick beard,” rubbing his face on your inner thighs, “he’s a bit of an oversharer. But I knew you’d like it too. Guess I was right.” He was smug about it too. He knew you inside and out. More than anybody else, maybe more than you know yourself.

He pushed your thighs apart as you squirmed above him, trying to clamp them on his head. “Now, sweetheart. I thought you promised to be good. Do I need to tie you up?”

You furiously shook your head. “No, please! I’ll be good.” Normally, you’d love to be tied up. But you needed to touch him, his face and his hair.

“I know it’s hard, pup, just try a little harder,” He tongue nudging at your entrance. His fingers spreading your lips apart, “such a pretty pussy,” he praised.

Wrapping his mouth around your clit and pushing his fingers in your pussy. He made sure to gather as much of your slick over his beard as he could, to make a mess of it.

You threw your head back, trying your best to stay still, it was too overwhelming, too good, “Stevie! Stop, stop please,” you begged, pulling on his hair.

He immediately pulled away, hovering back over you, inspecting you for any distress.

“I want to come with you inside me. Please.” you said, fluttering your lashes.

He sighed, “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Come on! It’s my birthday. You have to do as I say,” you giggled.

“As you wish,” he shook his head. He would’ve given in even if it wasn’t your birthday.

His fingers scrambling to get his dick out of his suit. Kissing your neck, sucking on your special spot, he pushed inside you. Digging his fingers in your hips, he bit your neck, “So fucking tight, doll.” He groaned, he was at the end of his rope, he couldn’t take it anymore, snapping his hips with a swift thrust he buried himself inside you.

“Stevie,” you mewled, feeling his tip pressing against your special spot. “Right there!”

Pulling his cock out and then pushing back, “Here?” he wiggled his hips, pressing his lips to your jaw.

“Yeah,” you gave a shaky reply. Already on the edge as he kept ramming in on your g-spot. “Steve, kiss me please?” You needed to feel his lips on yours, to feel his beards on your face.

Circling a hand under your waist to pull you up and closer to him, his hips setting a punishing pace, he crashed his lips on yours. Clashing your teeth together. He moaned as you pulled his bottom lip with your teeth, before kissing him again.

Letting go of his lips, just for a second to pepper kisses all over his beard and then kissing him deeply.

You clenched around his length, pulling his hair, biting the hilt to his jaw to stifle your scream. Waves of pleasure crashing over you one after another.

He came right after you, with a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim. He collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you.

He laid beside you, on his side your bodies still connected. He couldn’t have any of his spend escaping your tight cunt.

He kissed the crown of your head. “You liked your first gift?” he asked as you hummed. “Don’t worry, I got plenty more for you.” he smirked already feeling himself get hard again in your pussy.

When you were quiet for a while, so unusual for you, your fingers playing with his beard, “What’s wrong, pup?” He tilted your face up so he could see it.

“Nothing,” you shook your head. Suddenly feeling guilty for ruining your precious pictures. “They need you more than I ever will - your team and this world.”

“That’s... true. You don’t need me. You’re a strong woman, if anything I need you. But that’s a good thing, sweetheart. You want me. And that's enough for me.”

“Really?” Your lips curling up in a big grin as you nuzzled his beard, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

Steve’s heart was big enough to share him with the entire world. That he could still love you more than you could even begin to comprehend. And always make his way back to you. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-Little Crosby- |D. Cozens| [Epilogue/Part 8]

This is the end of Little Crosby and I don’t think I've ever been this sad for one of my fics to end. I fell in love with Dylan and Ava’s story and I absolutely loved getting to write this with @prettyboycozens​. This story turned into something I never thought it would and I am so thankful to everyone who supported, encouraged and got to read this story! So thank you for all the love and support for Little Crosby! Enjoy the last part!

“Momma?” I hear Wes call from the top of the stairs as Dylan tugs me down onto the couch next to him.

“We’re down here, Baby!” I call, relaxing into Dylan’s arms. Wes is 4 now and looks just like Dylan. Dad says he acts just like me though. He’s your typical little boy, all dirt, loud and hockey. He loves hockey, of course, and getting to go to his dad, grandpa and uncles’ games and spending time with all of his family. He’s grown up surrounded by cousins which he absolutely loves, even if they are 3 hours away.

“We have to leave for dinner in about 15 minutes. Are you ready?” I ask, looking up at Dylan. He shrugs and I move off of him, letting him get up.

“I need to change and let the dog out, then we can leave.” He says, heading back to our room. Wes runs out of his room. He rushes down the stairs and jumps up onto the couch, a Sabres jersey hanging off of his already tall and skinny frame. As he jumps, I see a flash of black and I smile. Underneath the Cozens jersey he has on is a Crosby jersey; the one Dad got him for Christmas last year. When he knows he’s gonna see Dad, he always wears both jerseys.

“Hey Buddy, why don’t we pick one jersey to wear tonight? You’ll want the other one clean for tomorrow’s game.” I say, walking over to the couch and sitting down as he bounces over to me.  

“We’re gonna see Grandpa! We’re gonna see Grandpa!” Wes yells, still jumping on the couch.

“Yes we are. Why don’t we take Daddy’s jersey off and you can wear it tomorrow. Wear Grandpa’s tonight.” He finally stops and lets me tug the Sabres jersey over his head, leaving the black Crosby jersey on.

It’s been 6 years since the Canada trip that Dylan and I met on. Dylan and I have been living in Buffalo for 5 years, having just moved into a new house right before Wes’ last birthday. We still haven’t gotten married but the ring Dylan gave me all those years ago, that still has a place on my finger, still reminds me and him about the promise he made, what seems like forever ago in that hospital bed. So we’ll get around to getting married one day. Everything’s been going wonderfully in Buffalo. Dylan’s been playing well, Wes is loving preschool and I’m working at a doctor’s office as a pediatric nurse. With it being the first time I’m more than 20 minutes away from Dad and my family, even after 6 years, it’s taken a while to get used to planning weekend trips to Pittsburgh and Chicago to visit Dad and the uncles, along with Kirby and Carter.

Carter and Kirby stayed together while Carter was in college on the west coast, and are talking about getting married now that she’s graduated, which is really exciting. My uncles’ kids have all started to grow up and become actual humans, which has been really fun to watch. They’re all happy and living life. The biggest change has been that Marc and his family moved back to Pittsburgh. He ended up getting traded back to Pittsburgh, which meant our not so little family was all together again, at least when Dylan and I come to Pittsburgh. He plans on retiring in Pittsburgh with Dad, Kris and Geno, when the time comes.

“Come on Dylan! We’re going to be late for dinner!” I call as Wes returns to bouncing on the couch. Dylan finally comes out of our bedroom, our dog following behind him.

“Let me let Milo out then we can leave.” He calls as he opens the back sliding door and Milo runs out, barking. Dad had called a family meeting while he and my uncles were on a road trip to Buffalo. He usually only calls family meetings when something important happened so I was a little nervous to see what he needed to tell us. We were meeting at a restaurant about 20 minutes away from the house with a big room since there were going to be all 16 of us together in Buffalo, for the first time since Christmas. Dad hadn’t mentioned anything happening the last time he and I had talked on the phone earlier this week but maybe something had happened since then. Wes climbed into my lap and snuggled into my chest. I knew he wouldn’t stay this little forever but I wanted him to. I loved how his big brown eyes somehow managed to get bigger when he was talking about something exciting. I loved how he talked with his hands, waving and pointing to make sure everyone understood exactly what he was saying. Most of all, I loved how he called me “Momma” and loved to cuddle and be cuddled. Dylan and I had talked about having more kids, which I loved the idea of, but I was savoring every minute of it being just the 3 of us.

“Okay Baby, let’s get going.” Dylan says as he lets Milo back inside and gets him into his cage.

“I’m nervous, why am I nervous?” I ask as Dylan tugs his coat on then kneels down to help Wes zip his coat and put his shoes on.

“Because the last family meeting your dad called was when we told your uncles you were pregnant?” I roll my eyes and zip my coat up.

“You’re really not helping.” Dylan laughs as he picks Wes up and we head out the door.

“Maybe he’s retiring?” Dylan offers as I climb into the passenger seat and he straps Wes into his carseat. Wes is preoccupied by his ipad, oblivious to what Dylan and I are talking about.

“He would’ve told me first. If it was something that big. But I really have no idea what it could be.”  Dylan shrugs as he gets into the driver’s seat.

“Babe, it could be nothing. Maybe he just wants us all together. Don’t think too much into it.” He says, softly kissing my cheek before starting the car. We drive in silence, the only sound in the car is Wes’ ipad. As we pull into the parking lot of the restaurant, I see Carter and Kirby heading inside.

“Okay this must be really big. Carter and Kirby are here too.” I say, trying to fight the building anxiety rising in my chest. Dad wasn’t old, only 39, but he had been playing in the NHL for 21 years. Maybe he really was retiring. Or maybe something else had happened.

“Momma! I’m hungry!” Wes cried from the backseat, his ipad now forgotten on the seat next to him.

“Alright Buddy, we’re gonna go inside and see all your cousins and aunts and uncles, and Grandpa. It looks like Aunt Carter and Uncle Kirby are here too!” I say, turning around and smiling at him as Dylan puts the car in park. Wes bounces excitedly in his seat, waiting for Dylan and I to get out and unbuckle him. Carter must’ve seen us because she and Kirby are waiting in front of the restaurant for us.

“Whatever Dad tells us, promise me it’s gonna be okay?” I ask, looking over at Dylan before climbing out of the car.

“It’s gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be fine.” He says, watching me with intent eyes. I nod and open Wes’ door, unbuckling him and holding him close.

“I wanna go see Uncle Kirby, Momma!” He shouts, excitedly. So I let him down once we reach the sidewalk and he runs to Kirby who scoops him up and tickles him. Dylan’s hand finds mine and we meet up with Carter and Kirby.

“Any idea why we got told to come to Buffalo for the weekend?” Carter asks. I shrug and she grimaces a little.

“Are we in trouble?” She asks, taking Kirby’s hand as Wes runs ahead of us and waits at the door to the restaurant.

“Not that I know of. Why, did you do something to get us in trouble?” I ask, nudging her and laughing. She shakes her head and leads the 5 of us into the restaurant. The hostess leads us back to the room where my 3 nephews are running laps around the table while my nieces are huddled in the corner with one of my aunts. Wes runs to join the boys and I spot Dad on the other side of the room with Kris. We exchange a wave and I notice a woman I’m not familiar with next to him. Geno and Marc are sitting at the table, making sure the boys don’t break anything.

“Who’s the lady?” Kirby asks, attempting to hide himself pointing at the woman next to Dad.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Kirbs.” I say, shrugging as Dad walks over to me.

“Hi Sweetheart, good to see you!” He says as my hand slips out of Dylan’s and he hugs me. No matter how old I get, my anxiety seems to melt away whenever Dad hugs me.

“You know, you’ve had me freaking out ever since you called me to tell me about dinner.” I say as Wes jumps into Dad’s arms.

“Hi Buddy! I told you on the phone there was nothing to be worried about, Ava.” I cross my arms and look up at him.

“Uh huh. You know how I get, Dad.” He nods and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

“I think you’ll like this announcement.” I groan internally but nod. Dylan’s hand has found its way back into mine and he leads me over to where my uncles are now all sitting.

“Who’s the lady with Dad?” I ask as we sit down with the 3 of them.

“Kathy? You’ve met her, Ava. She works for the team as a physical therapist.” And as Kris answers, I start to realize he’s right.

“Oh yeah yeah I remember her. But that doesn’t explain why she’s here.” I say, looking between her and my 3 uncles sitting around me.

“She always travel with us.” Geno says, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

“I’ve told her about 10 times that she shouldn’t be freaking out but she doesn’t listen to me.” Dylan injects, his arm resting around the back of my chair.

“Hey you’re the one who reminded me that the last family meeting we had was to tell everyone I was pregnant so now my mind is going all sorts of places.” Marc laughs and shakes his head.

“I don’t think it’s anything that big. Just calm down Ava.” I shrug and look around the room, watching Wes, who is still clinging to Dad, talk animatedly to his cousins gathered around them. Kathy is standing with Veronique, Marc’s wife, talking. I watch her glance at Dad whose eyes are already on her. There’s definitely something there but I can’t put my finger on what. Dad finally lets Wes down and he wanders his way over to Dylan, climbing up onto his lap.

“Daddy I’m hungry. Is it time to eat yet?” Wes asks, cuddling into Dylan’s chest.

“Almost. I think Grandpa has to tell us something and then we’re gonna eat dinner. Did you have fun with all your cousins?” Wes nods, playing with the hem of his jersey.

“Did you show Grandpa that you’re wearing his jersey?” I ask, smoothing Wes’ hair down. His hair is dark, just like Dylan’s and is in a constant state of bedhead.

“He liked it. He told me a story about when you were little and had one of his jerseys, Momma. Daddy, I’m wearing your jersey for the game tomorrow.” Dylan smiles as Wes slides off his lap. He runs over to Dad, who is now standing at the head of the table.

“Hey, if you wouldn’t mind, I think it’s time for my announcement.” He says he picks Wes up and everyone starts to sit down.

“It’s great getting to see everyone here, together. Especially with the news I’m about to share. Everyone, this is Kathy. Ava and the guys know her. But she’s one of the physical therapists that works for the team. Um, she and I have been dating for the past 3 years. I asked her to marry me a little over a month ago and she said yes. So...We’re getting married.” My mouth drops open and Dylan glances at me, trying to gauge how I’m handling this news. As I glance around the room, trying to figure out if I heard that right, everyone’s faces look the same as mine.

“You didn’t know about this?” I whisper, turning to look at Marc with wide eyes.

“We had no idea! He doesn’t tell us things!” Marc says, his eyes as wide as mine. It takes Dylan’s hand finding mine to keep me in my seat and somewhat grounded.

“I know this is a shock but we’re very happy. And we want you all to be a part of our wedding.” It’s like everyone gets snapped out of a trance. Everyone is up, congratulating Dad and Kathy and I’m still in my seat. I’m frozen, unable to move from the shock. I see Dylan glance back at me, before talking to Dad. Kris comes to check on me, kneeling down in front of me.

“You okay, Kid?” I shake my head and he stands, tugging me to my feet and into a hug. Wes runs up and hugs my legs.

“Momma! I’m gonna have a grandma! Does that mean she’s your momma now?” He asks, his eyes bigger than dinner plates. Somehow, that manages to snap me out of my trance and Kris lets me go. I bend down to Wes’ level and he puts his hands on my shoulders.

“Sorta. She’ll be my step mom, Baby. Have you told Grandpa congratulations?” He shakes his head and I gather him in my arms.

“No! I wanna tell them ‘gratitations!” He says, bouncing in my arms. I smile at his mispronunciation of the word and start to walk in the direction of Dylan and Marc.

“Let’s go find Daddy and then we’ll go tell Grandpa and Kathy congratulations.” Wes rests his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my neck. My family has always been a comfort to me, and it’s definitely one I need today. I’ve always wanted Dad to find someone and fall in love. But it’s just been him and I for so long, even with my uncles and aunts, cousins and now Dylan and Wes. My heart hurts a little, thinking about letting Dad go, but I see how happy Dad is and I can’t help but push those feelings aside for him to be happy. He’s put so much on hold for me, waiting until I was ready and on my own, I can’t help but do the same for him. But there’s still a part of me that’s not sure about all of it. A part of me that’s terrified about losing my dad. That fear keeps me from being able to be as happy as Dad deserves me being.

“Hey Baby.” Dylan says, his arm automatically going around my waist and pulling me close. Wes squirms out of my arms and runs to Dad who is now walking over to us, Kathy in tow. He presses a kiss to the top of my head and ruffles Wes’ hair.

“Congratulations Dad. Kathy, I can’t wait to get to know you better!” I say, trying to hide the other emotions threatening to break through.

“Thank you so much, Ava. I’ve heard so much about you and the last time I remember seeing you was probably when you were in middle school. You’ve grown up so much. And you must be Dylan.” Kathy says, reaching out to shake Dylan’s outstretched hand. He nods, the smile on his face genuine, unlike the fake one I’m trying to pass off as real. Dad keeps glancing at me, probably because he can see right through the fake smile.

“And you’re Wesley. But you like being called Wes, right?” Kathy asks, bending down to Wes’ level. He grins shyly and leans against my legs.

“I’m Wes. Momma, can I say ‘gratitations now?” He asks, looking up at me with big eyes. I nod and he grins.

“Gratitations! Are you gonna be my grandma now?” He asks, looking up at Kathy.

“I’d like to be your grandma. Is that okay with you?” He nods and launches himself at her, hugging her. She smiles, hugging him back and then returning him to my arms.

“I think we should definitely think about doing dinner or something soon. Maybe before you guys head back to Pittsburgh.” Dylan says, looking down at me. His hand slips into mine, stopping me from twisting my ring. It’s been a habit since he put it on my finger, usually one that’s a sign of how anxious I’m feeling.

“We definitely can do that. I’d love to see your house.” Kathy says. I’ve spent the last few minutes just watching Dad. He’s been focused on Kathy and the look in his eyes says everything. He loves her, which should make me happy, to see Dad this happy but it’s still tearing me up. This is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.

“We have a puppy. His name is Milo! He likes to play hockey with me.” Wes says, obviously warming up to Kathy already. He’s not really shy, usually he talks strangers’ ears off, so it doesn’t surprise me that he’s comfortable with her already. Dylan and I have had to talk to him a couple times to get him to understand the whole stranger danger thing. It doesn’t make sense that both Dylan and I are pretty reserved, quiet people and somehow we end up with a kid who is the most outgoing child ever.

“Well I would love to come over and meet Milo.” Wes suddenly runs off, calling goodbye to Kathy,  going to play with his cousins.

“He’s a sweet boy. He looks just like you, Dylan.” Dylan smiles. Kathy and Dad share a sweet smile and I stay quiet.

Eventually, everyone sits back down and we have dinner. Everyone laughs and talks. Carter, Kirby, and Dylan won’t stop checking to make sure I’m okay, even though I’ve told them all a thousand times I’m fine. We make it through the evening and head back home. We’ll see everyone tomorrow at the game so it’s just a few quick goodbyes. Carter and Kirby come over to the house and Wes ropes them into watching Cars 2 with us. The day has taken a lot out of me and I fight sleep the whole movie.

I feel Dylan get up from beside me, taking Wes from where he was laying, cuddled between us. Carter and Kirby left a little while ago, whispering goodbyes since Wes fell asleep about halfway through the movie. The play menu for ‘Cars 2’ lights up the living room and I sit there, lost in thought. I need to call Dad, talk through today. But I can’t bring myself to grab my phone off of the table and press call on his contact. I’ve only ever wanted Dad to be happy, that’s what he’s always wanted for me. After spending most of the evening talking to Kathy, I know how in love she is with Dad and that she’s good for him, it’s just hard letting go of my dad.

As I’m sitting there, contemplating calling Dad, my phone starts to ring. It snaps me out of my thoughtful state and I rush to check to see who’s calling. Dad’s name stares back at me as I pick my phone up. I take a deep breath and press the answer button.

“Hey Baby.” Dad’s voice breaks through the noise in my head.

“Hi Daddy. It’s late, why are you still up?” I ask, tugging my knees into my chest and running my free hand through my hair.

“I’ve been thinking about you. You seemed off tonight. You okay?” I sigh and lean my head against the back of the couch.

“I’m-I’m okay. I was just a little surprised with your announcement, that’s all.” His voice sounds tired.

“I know Sweetheart. I wanted to tell you sooner. I wanted you to meet Kathy before I told anyone, before anything happened. Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Dylan suddenly appears in the doorway without Wes. He must’ve gotten Wes into bed pretty easily. He raises an eyebrow, making sure I’m okay and I nod. He comes over to me, dropping a kiss on my forehead and whispering he’s going to bed. I nod, squeezing his hand as he walks away.

“I just wasn’t expecting it. I’m really happy for you both, Dad. There’s plenty of time for me to get to know Kathy before you get married and even after you guys get married. You put so much on hold for me while I was growing up. But I’m all grown up, now it’s your turn. I’ll always be your little girl, no matter what, but I have Dylan to take care of me now. You need someone else to take care of now, and that person is Kathy now. So don’t worry about me, Daddy. I’ll be okay.” And as I say I’m okay, it's the first time in a few hours that I’ve actually felt okay and haven’t been lying. I hear Dad sniffle a little on the other end of the call, which of course makes me tear up.

“Baby, you’re absolutely amazing. You’re a wonderful mom to Wes, you love Dylan so much and I would never trade being your dad for anything in the entire world. You’ve been the highlight of my life. Not winning the Stanley Cup, not playing in the All-Star game. You are the reason for all of it. Getting to share you with our family and now with Kathy is beyond a dream come true. Thank you for being so supportive.” His voice breaks a little and I’m full on crying now.

“I love you Daddy. I’m happy for you. Dylan and I are happy for you. And I know Wes is so excited for Kathy to be his grandma.” Dad clears his throat and I try to control the tears running down my face.

“I love you too, Ava Grace. Now you probably need to head to bed so I’ll let you go. Good night.” He lets me say goodnight then ends the call. I lean my head against the back of the couch and take a deep breath. The tears slow and I regain my composure.

“Hey Avs, you okay?” Dylan asks, sitting down on the couch next to me and pulling me into his lap.

“I thought you went to bed? But I’m okay.” He kisses my forehead and relaxes into the couch.

“I could hear you on the phone. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I snuggle into his chest and sigh.

“It’s been a long, surprising day but I think I’ll be okay.” I can feel him smile and he moves so we’re laying down on the couch, me resting on his chest.

“Your dad is happy. He’s going to have what all your uncles and we have. I think it’ll be fun to plan a wedding with your dad. Speaking of, we need to talk about us getting married.” Dylan says, looking down at me. I sit up a little, resting my chin on my hands and looking into his eyes.

“Oh I like when we do this. I want a big wedding.” I say, punctuating my sentence with a kiss on his lips.

“With all of our friends and family. And Wes as the ring bearer.” He says, twisting a few strands of hair between his fingers as I smile.

“Oh he’d be so cute in his little suit!” Dylan smiles and I settle back down on his chest again. We spend pretty much the rest of the night talking about our wedding and everything the future would bring, including siblings for Wes and in the morning, Wes finds us cuddled up on the couch and joins us, snuggling into Dylan’s side.

Dad calls a little after breakfast and asks to take Wes for the day, giving him some time to get to know Kathy. I agree and he picks him up, Kathy sitting in the passenger seat of his car. I wave from the doorway and she smiles, waving back. As I close the front door, Dylan scoops me into his arms and we head back to our room for his pregame nap, even though the game isn’t till later tonight. We end up sleeping until right before Wes gets home and Dylan needs to leave to be at the rink. Wes ends up laying down for a nap, which gives me some time to pick up the house a little and start getting ready for the game tonight. I love getting to spend games with my aunts and the rest of my family. It’s also nice to see all my uncles, Dad and Dylan all on the ice together.

Wes wears both of his jerseys, like he always does for Penguins-Sabres games, and is so excited to leave and head to the arena. Since I wear Dylan’s jersey for every other game, my tradition is to wear Dad’s jersey for games when he plays Dylan. All of the aunts, the kids, Wes and I hang out in a box, the kids running all over the box and back and forth with the other wives’ boxes for both the Sabres and the Penguins. It’s nice getting to sit and talk to my aunts. I don’t get to spend as much time with them as I do with my dad and uncles. We spend the whole game talking, making sure the kids don’t get too rambunctious while also watching the game at the same time. The game ends with the Penguins on top, 3-2 but Dylan scored and Dad did too with an assist from Geno. We all celebrate with dinner and drinks back at our house, giving me a chance to give my aunts an official tour, not over facetime. Wes shows off his playroom, bedroom and rink down in the basement that Dad and Dylan built him for his birthday. It’s the perfect ending to a family-filled day.            

Thank God Dad waited till the off season to get married. I couldn’t imagine planning a wedding during the season. But if I see one more sports website or magazine with the title ‘Sidney Crosby to Marry Team Physical Therapist! Letang, Malkin, Fleury, and Cozens among those in attendance’ or something like that, I will scream. It seems like this is the event of the year and it’s all anyone can talk about. Kathy and I have spent months, along with my aunts to plan the perfect wedding for her and Dad. The boys had been no help at all, being typical boys. Kathy and I had tried to get Dad involved in the planning but he had just kissed Kathy’s forehead and told her to do whatever she wanted. That night, I had gotten off the phone with the caterer for the wedding and collapsed into bed beside Dylan.

“I swear, if you don’t help me plan our wedding, I might break up with you before the wedding even happens.” I groan, rolling over to face him. He smirks and rolls over, eyes locked on mine.

“How do you manage to still be absolutely adorable while threatening to break up with me?” He asks, gently kissing me.

“Because you love me.” I say, smiling and letting him pull me closer.

“You’re right. I love you very very much.” He says, his forehead pressed to mine and his eyes wide.

“You’re cute, Babe. Now go to sleep. I have to fight with the florist in the morning.” He laughs but doesn’t say anything else. I manage to fall asleep, a list of what we still need to do for the wedding playing over and over again in my head.

The time between that night and the wedding flies by and before we know it, it’s the rehearsal dinner and I’m having to make a speech. And as I stand in front of my family and a few other people, I realize just how lucky I am.

“Hi everyone. You all know who I am so we can skip the introductions. But anyways, Dad and Kathy, congratulations. I had been waiting for the day that Dad told me he was getting married. And honestly, I was a little worried it would never come. But then Kathy came into the picture. She turned Dad’s world upside down and with that, turned everyone else’s lives in our family upside down. And I will always thank her for that because of the light and love she has brought into our family. Our family is complete now with her in it. So Kathy, I just want to say thank you. I can’t wait for you to officially join our family tomorrow. So here’s to Dad and Kathy, enjoy your last night apart.” I say, raising the glass of wine I’ve been sipping on all night. Everyone filling the dining room does the same and we all drink. The rest of the evening is carefree, enjoyable and fun. We all leave the dinner exhausted but excited for tomorrow. I collapse into bed and manage to sleep without having to worry about wedding plans.

The next morning is complete chaos. Everything that could be going wrong, seems to be going wrong and everyone is panicking. And as I try to get everything figured out so Dad and Kathy don’t have to worry, Dylan pulls me aside and kisses me softly.

“You’re doing amazing, Baby. The wedding is going to be perfect, don’t worry.” He says, running his hands up and down my arms, eyes locked on mine. He automatically calms me down and I’m able to finish getting everything worked out.

Thank God the wedding went off flawlessly. Dad only cried a little, I cried a little; everybody cried a little. Wes made it all the way down the aisle, only getting distracted by his cousins sitting in the front row and he looked adorable in his little tux. Dylan and I walked down the aisle together, being the maid of honor and Dylan being a groomsman. The whole time we’re walking down the aisle, in front of everyone, Dylan is whispering goofy things in my ear and making me giggle. Wes keeps looking up at Dylan, making silly faces throughout the whole ceremony. And as soon as we walk back down the aisle, he’s off and running with his cousins. Everywhere I look during the reception, there’s a hockey player. Which is something I should be used to, after being the kid of a hockey player and now dating a hockey player but I’m not. The later it gets, the more everyone drinks and the louder the music gets. After Dylan and I have both had a few drinks, Dylan pulls me out onto the dance floor and we dance the night away.          

A few weeks after Dad and Kathy’s wedding and honeymoon, he and Kathy drive up to Buffalo to spend a couple weeks with us. It’s wonderful having them at the house with us, giving Dylan and I a little break from Wes. One night, we’re all having dinner when Dylan turns to look at me.

“We’ve been together for how many years now? 7? And you know what? I still get butterflies every time you look at me.” Dylan says, looking deep into my eyes. I smile, watching him and trying to figure out what’s going on with the sudden outburst of mushiness.

“What I have with you? I don’t want it with anyone else. I choose you and I’ll choose you over and over again. You and Wes are the best things I could’ve never planned. I’m getting the future I’ve always wanted, with the girl I always wanted it with.” He says, taking my hands and pulling me to my feet. Dad sits behind us, Wes in his arms and Kathy holds close to his side, watching everything.

“I know I’ve done this before but we were young. So I’m doing it right this time. Ava Grace Crosby, will you marry me?” Dylan asks, slowly getting down on one knee and opening a ring box. My mouth drops open and I know I shouldn’t be surprised since we’ve already done this once but after what he said, I can’t help it.

“Are you kidding me? Yes!” I cry, pulling him to his feet and kissing him, my hands cupping his cheeks. I can hear Wes and Dad cheering, Kathy clapping. I pull away from Dylan, laughing and resting my cheek against his chest as his arms encircle me. Dad lets Wes down and he runs to us. Dylan scoops him up and he’s giggling, clapping his hands.

“Gratitaions Momma! Daddy!” He shouts. Dad and Kathy both join us and hug us. As I stand there, surrounded by my family, I think about how I’m getting the happy ending I’ve always wanted. I have the future with Dylan that I’ve thought about since we met, a son who I love more than anything in this world, the most amazing, supportive, and loving family. It’s everything I could’ve ever dreamed of and I’m completely in love with my life.

Tag List:

@theblushinglittle

@2manytabsopen

@nhlboyshavemyhart88​

@kirbyy-dach​

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Cil and Von pls???

Funny enough, that's what @bi-julius-caesar wanted for their birthday! The exact prompt they asked for was 'Von humiliating Cil in front of Kohga and Sooga and Cil tries to hate fuck him but ends up getting fucked instead'. So, hope both of ya'll like it!

"With pleasure, Master Kohga."

Kohga loved having beefcakes to do what he said. And Cil was one of the many who were eager to obey. Like a show pony, he was eager to perform. In this case, he insisted on having him go head to head with Sooga. Not with weapons, but with their bodies, and bodies alone. Master Kohga was frisky today, it seemed. He watched angrily as Kohga held Sooga’s face, cooing in such a sugary sweet voice. The words fell on deaf words, lost in his frustration. Then he looked at him, and made a 'come here' motion with his finger. Cil damn near skipped over, but kept his proper form.

"I don't want you to go easy on him, understand? He needs to earn his prize."

"Understood. But pray tell, what IS the prize?"

Kohga thought about it for a second, before Cil saw that smirk of his (well not really SAW, but he felt it).

"Tell you what. Winner gets a kiss."

"...any kiss?"

"Eh what the hell, why not? Sure."

Oh he was going to murder him. Cil nodded, holding onto Kohga’s hand in his own, as a sign of respect.

"It shall be done, my Master. He will have to pry this trophy from my cold, lifeless corpse."

And he meant it. He doubt Kohga would let their match get that far, but if it came down to it, he absolutely would. Anything for that kiss he needed oh so badly. For that kiss he deserved. He stepped in front of Sooga, and drew his blade. He double checked his hair in the reflection of the blade, before digging it into the floor. Sooga followed suit, both blades wedging into the wooden floors.

"I appreciate your seriousness, Cil. You and I both know that we strive to please our Master."

"Of course. He deserves nothing but the best. As in, me."

Sooga huffed. Good, he was getting under his skin. Cil stretched for a moment (maybe showing off a bit for Kohga), making sure his body was ready. Sooga followed suit, before nodding. He was ready.

"You recall the rules."

"No weapons, no yiga special techniques. Just our body's strength, and our wits. And of course, mask stays on. On our Master's mark, if he may grace us."

Kohga loved this part, they could tell. He was about to start, when Von joined him, clearly excited.

"Aye my BOYS! Master Kohga, I can watch right?"

"Long as you don't interfere again."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Shutting up right after this-good luck guys!"

He gave them a thumbs up, and Cil rolled his eyes. Ugh. Ever supportive, Von was. Kohga helped himself to a drink, before sitting up in his chair.

"On three. One. Two. Three!"

Cil was so motivated by the idea of getting his prize, he leapt for it first, bringing his fist down right into Sooga’s chest. Sooga got pushed back a bit, but didn't hesitate to grab Cil's arm, yanking him into a nasty headbutt. It was a cheap move, unlike him honestly. It was weird, until he heard Kohga holler behind them. It was a show for their master, not effiencity. Oh the cheek. He felt himself snarl at such a cheap trick.

"Oh you kiss ass!"

"You're just upset that he prefers looking at me."

Cil grit his teeth, before he dove for him in essentially a tackle. These little sprawling sessions were really just 'beat the shit out of someone until they're either unresponsive, or quit'. So tackling, although it was a bit barbaric, was pretty acceptable. Given how loud Von swore, it was quite a spectacle as well. He kept himself on top of him, starting to bring his fists down onto him. He aimed for his chest, his shoulders, even his head. Sooga kept trying to block, and Cil was happy he did.

"That's it, give me more of you to hurt!"

He wanted to bruise him. Wanted to walk away from this in absolute shame. Like a wounded street dog. He clasped his hands together, about to bring the combined force of his fists, when he was suddenly forced onto his back. Sooga had damn strong legs, and he often used them to his advantage.

"Your fury shall be the end of you, Cil."

He grabbed him by his head, about to slam it onto the floor, when he was interrupted by a very loud, VERY annoying Von.

"COME O N CIL, YOU GOT THIS BUDDY!"

It was annoying, and just the distraction he needed. He brought his fist up to his stomach, giving him just enough time to squirm out of his grasp. He managed to get Sooga’s head in his arms, in a headlock if you will. Sooga squirmed so adorably, he could pop his head like a cherry.

"That's it. Thrash. I'll crush your head like a fucking egg. I could watch the blood trickle down your ears as I make your brain mush. Or you could give up, and I could claim my prize. The one I d-"

He didn't get to finish. See, there was an issue with Von being both of their friends. He never picked a side, and always wanted things to be even. So, of course, it was his turn to help Sooga.

"SOOGA PULL HIS HAIR."

"NO WAIT-"

Too late. Sooga had reached up, dug his fingers into his hair, and pulled. It undid all the hard work it took to get it looking so pretty, and it made Cil moan. Loudly. He had just pulled it so hard, his blood was already pumping- it just happened. The cheers from everyone watching suddenly became a confused silence, and Cil hated that when he looked down, Sooga was obviously very uncomfortable. Cil let go of him, and turned to look at Von. Good. He knew he was in more shit than a horse stable.

He walked away, grabbing his blade on the way out. A foot soldier, their little referee, cocked his head to the side.

"Is this a forfeit?"

"...yes. Unfortunately, I yield."

He tucked his sword away, and as he walked out of the arena, and grabbed Von by his shoulder. Once they were out of the ring, and into Cil's room, Von FINALLY started to panic, hands up in defense.

"Cil don't be mad I didn't think you were gonna-"

"You made him ruin my hair. You made him humiliate me in public,"

Cil stepped towards him, slowly, and Von stepped back, clearly trying to get away from him. He made it a good distance away, before his back was against a wall. Cil put his hand up, keeping Von trapped. He wasn't going anywhere, they both knew it.

"You made everyone realize WE do things together. You made me come off as some sort of whore. You not only brought shame to me and me and our Master, but you made me LOSE. I deserved that prize. But thanks to you, I lost. LOOK AT ME."

Cil grabbed him by his throat, and listening to his choked up words of protest were music to his ears.

"I'm going to make you regret having a voice. I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to use you until I decide I'm not fucking mad at you anymore."

He threw Von onto his bed, crawled on top of him, and just when he was about to peel those clothes off, Von coiled some of his hair in his hand, and pulled. Like a a horse, he turned docile under his hand, suddenly not feeling so angry. Von laughed, pushing their masks aside, just enough to reveal their mouths. Never enough for their faces.

"Aye...so angry and so bitter, buddy. Easy does it. I know how you get when you don't get what you want. Come here. I'll give you a kiss."

Was it Kohga? Absolutely not. But after getting all riled up from a fight, he'd take it. He pressed his lips against his, swearing under his breath. Him and and Von have had a few...choice encounters, so this wasn't new. But Cil still hated it. There was still that shame, that bitter taste of defeat, not getting who he wanted. And Von knew it. It was silent, yet obvious. Yet, Von acted as if that awkwardness didn't exist. Cil sighed. He was still angry, but his cock was taking away some of that stress.

"You're a pest. And I'm still angry."

"You're always angry. Now come on, clothes off."

He waited till Von let go of his hair, before he sat up, removing everything but his mask. Von gave a loud, headache inducing whistle.

"Dunno why you had to strip, you could've just flexed this off, god damn."

Cil was about to insult him for such mindless flattery, when Von held his cock in his fingers. He toyed with the tip with his thumb, watching as Cil melted on top of him. Cil huffed in his face, annoyed still.

"You shouldn't make me feel good. But you know what I need."

"I've known a few cocks, my guy, they more or less need the same thing. But yours is the cutest!"

"Not this again..."

Cil smacked his mask with his hand, groaning. Von laughed, clearly finding it funny.

"I'm sorry but it's such a cute lil cock! It's like a wittle itty bitty carrot! You know how sometimes it doesn't grow right but you love it anyway because its special?"

"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to hang your corpse on-"

He was silenced when Von scooted down, and put his cock past his lips. He stiffened up for a minute, before relaxing, digging his fingers through Von's mop of hair.

"Ugh. So messy. Your stupid hair. You should let me fix it properly. If I have to hold it while I use your mouth, it should at least not look sloppy."

"Aw, is that a date?"

Von looked up at him; kissing at his tip. Cil scoffed, pushing himself back into his mouth. Much better use of his lips than the constant smart mouth.

"It isn't. It's a standard that I want...met."

He could tell Von knew. He was already getting close. That's what fighting did to a true yiga. Made them aroused, eager for more. Von peeled away, watching as the little cock ached for more.

"Well I want MY dick to meet that ass, so on your front, princess."

"I grow weary of that nickname."

He complied however, trading Von spots. He laid on his stomach, letting Von apread his ass, and rub his thumb over his asshole.

"But you're SUCH a pillow princess! You lay there, pushing against me and waiting for me to help you cum. And you look pretty too. Nice hair, a damn nice back. You take care of yourself, I REALLY can't believe you don't get fucked more often. Think its the attitude. But I like it."

Cil grabbed onto one of the pillows, tensing once Von dragged his tongue against his asshole.

"Don't....say that while you're doing such things. It's...v...vile."

It was gross. He kissed the same lips that kissed his asshole, and he loved it. Von's tongue moved in little circles, drool cascading down and meeting his aching cock. Von chuckled, pulling away after a second.

"You just mad because it's not Kohga saying it. Ease up big guy, you're gonna get what's comin' to you."

He was about to bark at him, recalling why he was mad to begin with, when he felt goosebumps at his skin. Right. Von was...well equipped, unlike himself. It felt good grinding against him.

"Just...ugh. Be silent and put it in already."

"Such a grumpy wumpykins. Fine."

He leaned down to kiss his jaw, before he adjusted his clothes, and pressed his bare cock against his ass. Cil tried not to, but he found himself pressing against against him, body needing SOMEONE to touch him.

"You remember the rule."

"Right right, finish on the ass, not inside, and tell you so you act like you don't like it- I know I know."

Cil didn't want to admit that he wanted him to just fuck him already. But thankfully, Von let him get away with that one, and pushed his cock inside his ass. He held him still, as his size was STILL a bit much for him. He groaned as his body tried to accommodate, trying not to tear open the pillow in his hands.

"SLOWLY, you fucking moblin."

"This IS slow, you just don't get fucked enough to be used to it."

He was going to back talk further, when Von grabbed some more of his hair, giving it a gentle pull as he started to slowly roll into his ass.

"I...oooh...mmmph."

He hated the sounds he made when he felt stuffed. But it felt so...good. Von chuckled, hand roaming from his hip, up his back.

"That's it. You've got no dick, and ass is pancake flat, but when you finally get tamed...damn you sound so pretty. You like it when you get a good stretch, eh?"

"I DESERVE a cock. The fact that it's yours is unfortunate."

"Sharp tongue for a man with a thick dick in his ass. Lemme taste it."

He laid on him again, pressing his lips against his, and letting his tongue roam over his. Von knew he hated kissing so much, but this time he was grateful, as it helped keep his moans muffled, if only slightly. They sat there for a moment, sweat glistening off their bodies and swears filling the air. Then Von started to move properly. He started to buck his hips into his, balls smacking against his own as their hips bucked together.

"Shit Von...You’re throbbing inside of me. It's shameful."

"Funny way of saying you really like my dick. It's fine, I like this ass of yours. Looks good when you're taking it. Don't think I've fucked someone so big and delicate."

"I'm NOT deli-"

He was cut off when Von yanked his hair, starting to pound into his ass.

"Not delicate? Look at you fumblin' over yourself as I fuck that ass like a toy. My cute, baby dicked princess~"

He couldn’t even scold him. His vision was too hazy, his mouth was too busy biting into the pillow. It felt just. So good, letting this man use him to please his cock.

"I'm gonna fucking cum. I'm gonna bust a FAT fucking nut because of you. Come on, let's see what kinda load those little balls of yours can give me."

Cil was the first to cum, whining loudly once he finally hit that peak. He sat there in his mess of sweat and cum, before Von joined him. He pulled his pretty hair, pulling out just in time to cum on his ass, and on his back. Von still kept moving, albeit much slower, snearing his thick cream in between his cheeks. Von grumbled against his sudden mouth full of feathers.

"They're...not small."

"Size of chickaloo tree nuts. But I love 'em anyway, princess."

Von finally got off of him, laying right next to him. Cil sat there, trying to recover. He silently listened as Von lit up one of his cigarettes, helping himself to a nice smoke, blowing rings into the air. Cil inhaled, before slowly exhaling.

"Why I insist on entertaining you, I have no clue."

"Because I got a fat dick. And I'm funny as hell."

"Funny looking, you mean."

Cil didn't move as he shifted his gaze to meet his. Von grinned, taking another puff, before leaning over and smacking his ass. Least, what was supposed to be his ass.

"Ha! After all this time, my guy still got jokes! I love it! Good to see I took a...load off."

"Stop."

"Even though it was very HARD."

"VON."

Von grinned like the idiot he was. Cil hated to admit it to himself but...well. he did get the gold medal, but silver was just as good. For now.

[jiminrings]

the volleyball shorts

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: coach koo’s just dying to know what his present is, you’re panicking because you can’t think of a present, and jimin and the gang tolerate jungkook a little bit better because it’s his special day :D // contains smut + gif isn’t mine!!

notes: happy birthday jungkook!!! i baked brownies irl for you u should come over sometime!!!

if you’ve read most valuable, the piece that started it all, then you knOw what i’m alluding to with jungkook and his relationship with y/n’s volleyball shorts!!

you swear,,

you could even really SWEAR on the brand-new refrigerator that you need to knock twice on to see what it contained that you split the price with jimin

and forcibly with also jungkook because he stays over so much at yours and jimin’s place that he’s basically a roommate now

and alsO forcibly with taehyung and yoongi because apparently your apartment is now everyone’s gathering place and they raid and inhale ur fridge atleast 72 times per day that the electricity bill’s gone up

that yesterday, it was just a month away from jungkook’s birthday!! you swear!!

and two hours ago, it was two weeks away!!

AND NOW

you can’t really digest the truth

that it’s just f i v e days away now

and you have zero thoughts to how you’re gonna throw jungkook his birthday bash :D

the guys probably figured that out too lol because they have an idea to how you’d be all over the place for even something miniscule

like one time you and jimin bought two rugs you couldn’t decide upon then you just agreed that you’d fit it underneath the coffee table and whichever looks ugly, you’ll return it later

but then the two rugs ended up being too pretty that you couldn’t decide nOW

and jupiter barked out of the blue and it was a eureka moment because :D aHA jimin what if we just let jupiter pick out the rug?? then that way it’s fair???

but then jupiter ended up lying on bOTH the rugs and now you were distraught

jimin was reassuring you like eH it’s okay let’s just go about our days and not spend y’know :D all our time trying to figure out what to pick :D

and then you obviously refused and you stayed up the whole night picking a goddamn rug and jimin was so close to toppling over in fear when he went to grab water at three in the morning

anyways

that’s why they’re here!!! even before you could call and gather them up when jungkook had to leave by himself to settle some things because he’s the coach,,

even before you could text tae and yoongi to take the elevator, they’re already knocking at your door

“...”

“......”

everyone’s just looking at each other in this makeshift circle you’re all in around the coffee table

even jupiter’s stopped barking and he’s been barking for the past five minutes at the new cactus succulent that jimin bought!!!

they’re waiting

waiting for that —

“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR JUNGKOOK I’M SUCH A BAD GIRLFRIEND A-AND-“

aha

meltdown

“not to stir the pot, but jungkook always zones out at practice and even during games then gIGGLES to himself!! and when i ask him why, he says that he’s just thinking about what you’re getting him for his birthday!!”

jimin shudders at that too because whew

like he knew that koo sometimes talks to inanimate objects but man his superior (albeit younger) is out here imagining his birthday present in the middle of a neck-and-neck game

he’s conversing with himself like he’s talking to you and that just makes him speechless

“kook buddy i haven’t played volleyball competitively in like two years but i sUGGEST you focus or else i will spike you haha jk but no really ahaha :))”

“not to stir the pot too, but jungkook asked me to play happy birthday. on the snare. happy birthday. ON THE SNARE.”

this time, it’s taehyung’s turn to shudder

because he got a new head that’s louder and more tear-resistant and he wanted to try it out ok

and what better way to try that than when it’s in one of your practice games??

he has his drumsticks already lifted but then out of nowhere jungkook pOps out with a cheeky grin on his face and tae almost pokes him in the eye

“how many syllables are your name, tae?”

“... are you really asking me this?”

“yeah!! how many?”

“... three, jungkook. what, do you need ME to count yOUR syllables for you??”

oh my god that is such a stupid question

but it’s coming from jungkook so lmao tae isn’t all that surprised

“what’s three plus twenty?”

“i get that you’re an athlete but don’t you kNOW how to count???”

“hyung what’s three plus twenty??”

“... twenty-three....”

tae’s so close to narrowing his eyes because if this is another one of jungkook’s lame pranks then he’s gonna whack him in the head for this

but then all of a sudden jungkook jUMPS and squeals before clapping his hands

“twenty-three days before my birthday!! quick quick play happy birthday for me nOW :D”

that’s so... chilling

“now not to stir the pot even further, but y/n,,, baby,,, why didn’t you brainstorm earlier??”

yoongi goes straight-in for the kill and it’s his version of “i told you so” but that does not make it better whatsoever

that’s the thing you don’t know either!!!!

and it’s totally your fault and you shouldn’t have been complacent because now you’re paying the repercussions of cramming AND panic-sweating!!!

it’s okay!

you got this! :D

“how about some more black shirts??” tae pitches in and it’s a resounding no from you and the assistant coach

“jungkook has enough of those,, even jimin and i can take a dozen from his stash and it won’t even make a dent!!”

jimin’s racking his brain and he hasn’t thought about something this hard but ok fine anything for you

“new chunky shoes?? but uGH he already has too many of those-“ that makes him groan even harder because buying another pair for kook means him tripping over them

not to mention that the shoe rack is now taken over by jungkook atleast 50%

and once again jimin reiterates <3 this is the y/n and jimin apartment and nOT the y/n and jimin and this dude that dOESN’T pay rent apartment

yoongi’s in deep thought as everyone around him throws ideas around

okay dOn’t tell anyone but yoongi’s now getting into bullet-journaling :D

tae just gave him a dotted notebook one day because he accidentally bought a dozen instead of one from amazon so lol here hyung u like writing right???

by writing, yoongi meant scribbling haphazardly and waking up the next day and trying to decipher his own handwriting

but then he came over to your apartment and you bought pastel highlighters because they were on sale and nOT because you needed them and you wanted to try them out!!! but jungkook was sick that time and you needed to make soup :((

“yeah ok leave it to me,, i’ll swatch it for you or something.,.,.”

one thing led to another and :D AHA

yoongi blackmailed everyone to not say a single word to anyone that he now loves bullet-journaling and he had to whack tae one time when he kept teasing him

also he now has a bujo account on instagram and it’s nearing 5k followers omg and he will d-word when someone irl finds out that it’s him

“boxers.”

yoongi says seriously and it makes everyone shut up because he sounded sO sure

he just has this certain authorative aura around him that you wavered because oH right yes boxers,,, will buy,,,, thank you

lol but you snapped out of it

“jungkook already has too many boxers!! he likes basketball shorts more nowadays and-“

“what? who said the boxers were for jungkook??” yoongi scrunches his nose at your ridiculous reply

your eyes are squinted so hard as you try to decipher the flow of thoughts of everyone in this circle

“oh. i want boxers. want them for christmas!! take note, y/n.”

oh

okay

cool

good news: you now know what you’re gonna give to yoongi on christmas

bad news: you dON’T know what to give to your boyfriend on his birthday five days from now

there’s something somewhere in the middle of all the banter that you’ve tuned out though

something that just makes your eyes bulge and hit whoever’s lap is beside you repeatedly (first of all it’s jimin’s for the record and second oW THAT HURTS) with a grin on your face before you hurriedly stand up and they equally as hurriedly do after

“i know what to get!!”

jungkook’s stArting to get antsy if he’s being honest

it’s not because he’s in his own apartment with you after so long he’s stayed over at yours

he really doesn’t mind that bit, no

jimin, tae, and yoongi were all staying over at your apartment instead as they make the last bit of preparations for jungkook’s birthday the next day!!

they all insisted that you rest because you’ve been so frantic the last couple of days and tbh even taehyung hyped of tWO cups of coffee can’t keep up

no — jungkook’s so antsy because he doesn’t know what you have in store for him :((

for the last five days you haven’t touched him nor did you let him touch you :((

a heated makeover that’s cut too short is as far as it could only go and he’s just so????

like is that a part of your birthday surprise or nOT

he has a love-hate relationship with surprises now because first of all,,,

he kNOWS that there’s gonna be a surprise and that excites him

but the worst of it all is that he knows there’s a surprise but he doesn’t know what it is

that’s like uhm

standing fifty feet away and being forced to pick between a lifetime supply of sugar and salt that’s placed into jars but u don’t know which is which

that is such an odd example to compare it to but that’s only what jungkook could process this now oKAY

you still let jungkook cuddle you so he guesses he could still touch you

he could rest his hand on your tummy!!!

but riGht when he’s about to sneak in a lil squeeze at your boob over your shirt then that’s when you slap his hand away and he frowns

just some hOURS left and it’s finally his birthday!!! he’ll just nuzzle to your neck and all would be fine :)

the lil party’s gonna be thrown in jungkook’s apartment anyways because as you’ve all come to known:

his apartment’s bigger than the one you and jimin share and that irks him because!!!

“yOU have the bigger and better aprtment why are you still cramping at ours???”

“i like staying with you guys!!!”

“nO you like staying with y/n and i come in handy when you need to steal someone’s pasta from!! i bought you tupperware and wrote your name on it but you still eat from mINE!!”

now everyone has their designated roles

jimin’s in charge of making the lasagna and he takes great pride in arranging the layers neatly and not half-assing the amount of cheese

taehyung had the great idea of wAIT what if they don’t like lasagna?? (jimin was offended by that omg who wouldn’t like my lasagna are u kiddinG)

so what he did was bring over this foldable table :D lay cups of ramen neatly :D decorate jungkook’s kettle because he realized that it looks like dOlphin when you tilt it sideways :D

and it’s now tae’s ramen station and so far the party-goers are LOVING it and it’s a close tie between him n jimin

yoongi’s in charge of food that the other two didn’t bother to think about basically

you locked jungkook in his own room lmao and had to bribe him with a kiss or two to stay there and not leave until you tell him to

you’re in charge of the decoration and not to toot ur own horn or anything but you did a pretty damn good job :D

there’s foil balloons you had to blow up and decorate meticulously

lol jimin accidentally bought the wrong ones so now it’s JUNGK00K instead of JUNGKOOK

you even learned how to fold paper cranes so u could fold the quantity of them to jungkook’s age for yoongi to stick them up to the ceiling

you EVEN bought blackout curtains and a lil disco light!!! that’s how well-put you were despite cram-planning!!

it was time to let out jungkook because the guests were starting to come in

and oh my gOD jungkook does clean up well..,.. wow

he’s dressed himself in just a white button-up but with the sleeves folded and some buttons left alone

thEn it’s the same black jeans but with a fancy belt he only pulls out whenever he goes to prissy parties!!!

and oh god

oh my

it’s his slicked hair that’s showing his forehead and tHAT’S when it sinks in you that oh.,.,. right.,.. jungkook’s growing his hair out and he’s been in a cap this past week and OH

it only hits you that oh.,.. jesus christ.,.,. jungkook has a mULLET

it’s a mullet-type of situation and it’s part-straight and part-wavy and wOW

you want nothing more but to pounce on him and it makes you audibly gUlp

jungkook’s as surprised as you were of him because w-wait a second

ok you’re wearing your favorite white shirt with the print on it that you wear at home!! he isn’t surprised

but are you wearing vOLLEYBALL SHORTS.,.,..

like as in the same volleyball shorts... that he..... adores..... a-and fantasizes over

oh my god everybody shut up

is that-

is that hIS OLD VARSITY JACKET????

the one with Jeon embroidered in the back and the one he wore to death that it still has his scent on it even if you washed it clean???

.... oh

that uH that makes jungkook put a hand over his chest

god im coming up

the party was an absolute bLAST!!

you and jungkook would stray from each other time to time because you’re each whisked away to talk but you’d always find each other after

you cAn’t contain yourselves at the sight of one another

kook keeps putting his arm around your waist and you keep squeezing his forearm

over-all it was such a great party 20/10

the girls chipped in to buy their coach jungkook (u put the idea in their head and they were amazed because they didn’t think of it) a smartwatch and he was so :D upon receiving it because wOah!!! omg he’s now a smartwatch owner sUck that kim namjoon

kim wears these fancy analog watches still and that makes jungkook roll his eyes because yEa that may be a rolex but my team did obliterate yours lmaOoo what about that huh

jimin’s gift was very heartwarming no matter how much he denies it to be

first he bought jungkook matching slippers with him because he’s so irked to see jungkook in chunky sneakers aLL the time

then uhm

an official key to the apartment and a written letter that when the two of your drive back,,, you could all do a handprint at the picture frame with the four of you and that’s jupiter’s paw included

you’re not gonna lie that dID make you tear up a little bit because wow :((( jimin used to be hesitant of jungkook at first but nOw he’s officially welcoming jungkook in with no anger whatsoever

kook also did cry a lil bit and they hugged it out

taehyung hand-knitted a blanket for jungkook with lil dolphins on them

he missed some stitches but he did his best oKAY and koo was so excited because wow omg this is so good!!!

yoongi bought jungkook a guitar because yeah.,.,. u dO get into my nerves sometimes but i care for you and i guess you’re my little brother now :)) i don’t make the rules

and as for your gift

... well

everyone’s already left and it’s just the two of you now finally

jungkook’s sat at the edge of the bed patiently because you’re fishing for the paper bag you’ve hidden and he’s sO on edge alright

he’s closed his eyes and you didn’t even tell him to so he’s THAT obedient

“you can open them now,” you’re sat on jungkook’s lap and it’s quite the tease for you to be perched near to his knees instead of his crotch but oK he won’t complain yet

it’s a box??

oh

... oH

“that’s for me??”

jungkook awes immediately when he opens to box and sees shiny silver gleam right up at him

it’s the matching thick necklace and bracelet he’s been eyeing for quite some time now yet refUses to buy

and here it is!!!! right in his hands!!!

“yes and they dOn’t allow refunds so please just wear them and don’t make yourself guilty!!”

you’re taking it from his hands and he’s smiling giddily when you clasp the cool jewelry around his neck and on his wrist

cute

and now it’s time for —

“i’m sleepy. are you sleepy yet?”

you do your part in messing with jungkook as you stifle a yawn, pretending to arrange things around the room before settling near him at the edge of the bed

he almost gives himself whiplash to look at you because you can NOT be serious

“no you’re not. you aren’t sleepy. your eyes tear up when you wanna go to bed.”

it’s endearing for you that he knows thay but you just continue to deadpan for the time-being

“i do? well i think i’m tearing up now.”

jungkook scoffs and crosses his arms across his chest because nO your eyes are dry!!!! look at them!!!! not a single tear!!!!

he’s looking at you so pointedly that it makes you chuckle, finally sitting down on his lap properly like he wanted you to that it makes him grunt

jungkook hasn’t had any decent action for a week now and even the slightest contact of you sitting on him, still-clothed, already makes him cRUMBLE

the thought that you’re in your volleyball shorts doesn’t help at all

it’s nice seeing him so flustered and willed right now,, his pupils already blOwn out and you haven’t even done anything

jungkook’s beautiful and that isn’t up to debate but even more-so up close that you could hear his labored yet trembling breathing

“you wanna kiss me?”

that dOES it for him and he almost leaps at the question but that’s when you pull back to which he audibly whines

:D

you come back again but it’s you who initiates it and jungkook practically melts at the taste of your mouth, already getting handsy as he squeezes at your thighs

he’s the one who’s gaining the upper hand and that was nOT the plan so that’s why you pull away right when he’s getting drunk on you

he’s chasing after your lips and you practically tut at him condescendingly that makes him huff again

“say please.”

aHA

jungkook’s eyes widen at that and he scoffs in disbelief because oh my god so tHIS is what you’re doing

now this is what he makes you say

and you never got him to say please because whenever you urge him to he just laUGHS upfront and it makes you pout

no jungkook’s not gonna do —

his giggling’s cut short when you let your mouth wander to his neck and right on to his sweet spot, immediately sucking on it harshly to paint your mark on

there’s slow kisses on his jugular nexy and you won’t do the same as what you did to him the first time and it’s frUstrating

add on to that with how you remind him you’re still on his lap with you grinding on him tOO pain-achingly slow

ok jungkook might say please after all

you’re coming back up to his jaw again and kissing everywhere but his lips that it’s starting to make him cave

“pl-“ he stops himself because oh gOd is he yielding but that’s when you snap too smoothly right on him, the intimate yet clothed feeling of you enough to make him moan in distress

“please?”

it’s instant relief when you’re back to kissing jungkook again and he might just bURST at this point and you’ve only been kissing him

tasting your lips is his first priority and breathing’s his second that it makes you chuckle with how needy he is, having to push him off because you know he’s getting light-headed

jungkook’s regaining his breath and he still wants mORE unsurprisingly

you’re taking off his shirt and stripping off his pants that leaves him with his boxers but on the other hand, you’re sTILL fully-clothed sans the varsity jacket

he’s about to do something with that which explains his grabby hands trYing to take off your shirt

but his hands not only get slapped away again, you’re pINNING them down back to the bed

“y/n i swear-“

he’s growing restless because he needs you right here and right now but you’re just tOO stubborn and bossy which is definitely a switch of roles

you grind on him a little too roughly than you intended to but the feeling’s more than welcome because you feel so fULL already and it makes jungkook unintentionally thrust into you

your shorts are feeling more than damp and his boxers are being a little tOo tight now

that’s when you lift yourself up from his crotch and let go of his hands, your face dangerously near his as his pupils shake

jungkook’s clearly looking at your centre and he whines when you still (purposely) won’t get what he’s trying to say

he’s always clearly had a vision of eating you out in your volleyball shorts that’s for sUre

but he didn’t imagine it like this and you know what he’s not complaining his hips try to buck up but to no avail, your finger hooked underneath his chin to make him look at you again

jungkook looks sO fucked out and he knows that far

he cries like a lost puppy with how you press your thumb to his bottom lips, your other hand making soothing circles on his chest

“you want a taste?” you ask ever so gently and that makes kook nod more than eagerly, about to pull you by your thighs and his mouth’s wAtering just by thinking about it

it’s the tut you give him again that makes him succumb, throat strained as he trains his pleading eyes on you for permission

“p-please?” jungkook’s too impatient to wait for an answer as he roughly grabs you to position your clothed core right above his face, immediately pressing his nose to inhale the scent of you with his lips ghosting your already-soaked folds — something so obscene about it that it almost makes your knees buckle, “that’s a g-good boy.”

he’s rELISHING on the slip of your tongue and he wastes no times in taking off your shorts, diving in with an eager tongue that takes you off-guard

now this is the real deal

jungkook takes mUCH pleasure in giving you yours and the unhinged and dirty moans you’re giving him are egging him on further

you taste so sweet and it’s enough to make him dizzy with how you’re opened up to him and for him only

he has a death grip on your thighs because you keep twitching and on the other hand he’s cravinG for you to take everything he’s giving you

he slips his hand to thumb at your clit in desperate circles and god the countdown to when you’re gonna reach your peak becomes alarmingly too near

jungkook doesn’t stop when you’re tugging at his hair roughly or when you’re yelling out his name like a mantra

jungkook doesn’t stop either when his face from the nose down is starting to get messy with the taste of you

doesn’t stop either when he’s starting to see your eyes become glassy and your lip trembling

absolutely doesn’t stop when you snap suddenly and gush over him because in fact, he still continues with much more fervor

jungkook was messy and kept lapping up at what you were giving him that’s enough to drive you into anoTher orgasm with how sensitive you are

holy fuck

jungkook’s laughing against your neck as you’re draped over him, making flowers bloom on your neck with his tongue as he makes you catch your breath

“there’s still another gift i haven’t showed you.”

okay nOW you’re nervous

kook stops pressing kisses and your words obviously make him perk, trying to hide his fascination and excitement but that’s poorly-done with how he’s trying to hide it

“you have mORE?? think y’already gave me heaven if i’m being honest”

he wouldn’t be opposed because honestly speaking his stamina as of the moment would last him aLL night and he’s on a high just from eating you out!!

oh my god you can’t possibly fall in love more with jungkook

you’re tracing the sweat that’s going down on the necklace and it makes you go lightheaded with how perfect he looks

the imprint of his bracelet’s marked snug on your left thigh with how hard he was gripping you earlier

he’s patiently waiting and waiting on you, drumming his fingers on your thighs in anticipation

here goes nothing!!!!

you take off your shirt and aHH jungkook visibly moans at the sight of a bare you

he’s right you are the present

but nO that’s not what you’re trying to get at

jungkook has his wandering hands taken down for the nth time this week but something about this feels a bit more special and reserved

he’s a little lost when you get off from him and instead sit beside him against the pillows, still kneeling on the bed so you could be higher than how he’s sat right now

he is mORE than lost when you smile at him gently and take his hand to —

oh

oh my god

oH MY GOD

it’s a tattoo

it’s a tiny and dainty tattoo on your rib in black ink

JJK

“jjk? that’s-“

holy fucking sHIT

everybody shut up!!!

everybody pLEASE be quiet jungkook needs a moment rn

it’s his initials

in his handwriting

on your skin.

oh my god

you’ve always adored jungkook’s tattoos i mean it’s nOt a surprise for anyone

they peak from time to time but sometimes they get covered with his coach jackets and his hoodies

and it’s at home where you can see them all

there’s a little inkling in the back of your head that oOH you’ve always wanted one like what he has

what was holding you back was that maybe it would affect your career or whatever

you and jimin read the guidelines for a whole hour and it wasn’t illegal for players to have tattoos!!!

as long as it doesn’t go against the rules and it won’t hinder your play

tattoos on the wrist or in between the fingers or in the forearm were a little risky because it’s always in direct contact with how you play

jimin was all thumbs-up on your idea because he himself has a couple of tattoos and was all wOah that’s so sweet!!!

taehyung was very warm with your idea and he swears that he’ll get one soon just give him some tIME to conceptualize what would his first one be

yoongi agreed and he alsO has tattoos himself and he was the most realistic (?) out of the four of you going “well you and jungkook better not break up lol”

he thought of it more and honestly?? he doesn’t see you and jungkook breaking up because there’s just sOMETHING alright??? something so unbreakable

jimin and taehyung and yoongi made a bet when you were getting your tat cleaned up that lmao what year would jungkook propose in

it’s your first tattoo and like you didn’t want to dive in head first and have a whole sLEEVE tattooed on the first occassion ya know

so why not the one you love?

and like it’s hidden by a shirt and obviously not a LOT of people would know about it and —

oh wow

uhhhh

jungkook’s.... crying?

he loves you sO much you have no idea

you’re tasting the salt from his tears when he kisses you so tenderly but it’s okay you don’t mind

he’s the one pinning you down this time and well he used to swear that he’s nEver the one for giggly sex

but oh god look at him now

mAYBE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY AND ON CLOUD NINE!!!

he has your hands flat against the mattress before he holds them :D

this is jungkook’s best birthday eVER 

“wanna spend all my birthdays with you.”

you instantly giggle to his neck and that tickled him a little bit okay

“you wanna marry me??”

you’re feeling everything at once and you have never grinned sO hard and laughed

jungkook rolls his eyes but that’s only because he might burst if he keeps looking at you

“well i don’t have the ring yet dummy but yEs i do want to marry you!!”

mrs. jeon!!!

wow that sounds hEAVENLY

you raise your head to whisper to his ear, leaning down for you instead so you wouldn’t strain yourself, “say please.”

“i hATE you,” jungkook cackles and it should be illegal to how warm and content he feels!! 

“you love me!!” there’s a lil sing-song voice and of cOURSE he does!!

he’s so whipped for you and he might go to the ends of the earth just because you insist

“solid facts.”

“my god—“ jungkook stills, laughing at you who’s underneath him before he breaks out into a grin

a little tiny ᵏᶦˢˢ on your nose

“what was life before you?”