#we always appreciate the things we've lost more than the things we still have

[thekidsare-not-alright]

I think some mcr fans would rather die than acknowledge that the break up helped cement their legacy and popularity. everyone loves a martyr/what they can't get more of, yknow. it's a fact of life

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG translation] 'My Parents Gave Me a Strong Sense of Identity'

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin.

Original article written by Teja Roglič for Ona plus, published 05.11.2024. English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by @weolucbasu, proofread by IG Gboleyn123.

Full article and Spotify link under the cut 👇

🎧 Article available in audio form on Spotify.

Last year’s craze at Stožice, summer festival performances, the Eurovision Song Contest, international success. And then everyone asks, what could be bigger, what could be better? But as the band Joker Out releases their new album, they consciously follow the motto "I want less". Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin explains why: "This is our home, this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We need to rediscover love in our base, that’s what we told ourselves."

With the song Bluza, you’re returning to love. Why?

We went through a lot. The songs we released after Eurovision dealt with the most acute situational changes in our lives—touring, exhaustion, questioning ourselves. Now, it’s time to have a bit of fun again. And there's probably nothing more beautiful than being in love. (smiles)

I’ve been looking into people’s stories, into the lives of those around me, seeking beauty.

What did you discover?

That I enjoy writing about love the most. When you write from a place of uncertainty, it’s nice to get those feelings out; when you write about love, you search for timeless beats within yourself, not something that’s only fleeting. I write about the ideals of love I held as a child, and in the future, I’ll see how these have either evolved or fallen apart.

It's best to write about love...

When you have a broken heart.

Your Eurovision song was more socially critical, though it might seem, at first glance, to be about joy. In it, you say: "We won’t take part in your games or your divisions." Did the song’s message reach people?

Undoubtedly. A lot has changed in a year and a half, not only personally but also in terms of our views of social issues. For the first time, we've connected with young people from abroad. It was fascinating to see how connected the fans from different countries became, encouraging each other, learning new languages—even a lot of Slovene. The desire for peace and unity is very strong at our concerts, so our messages have touched them. But of course, you can never reach everyone. (smiles)

You mention changed perspectives with regards to society. Have any ideals been shattered?

Many ideals have crumbled. In school, learning about war, it always seemed odd to me that the world could just go on at the same time, despite the ongoing disruption in the system. Now, I see that we have access to all the information, that we see and hear what’s happening, that we witness an influx of people coming from regions where this is happening, yet everything literally carries on as usual.

War has become more of a trend on TikTok or Instagram than something people feel hurt about. This makes me very sad.

A lot of ideals that have shattered relate to the life of a musician. We’ve achieved things we could only have dreamed of—not just as kids; even two years ago, what’s happening now would have seemed impossible to me. But the ideal that’s crumbled is this one: I don’t always know how to appreciate what I have.

On tour, I often slipped into negative thoughts, didn’t appreciate everything happening to us. This links to the idea that this kind of life is easy, that as a successful musician, you only have fun. This, of course, isn’t true; it’s incredibly exhausting, both mentally and physically. I could go on until tomorrow, listing everything that’s fallen apart, but fortunately, a lot of new things have also come to be.

You’re the idols of generations; do you feel pressure because of that? After all, you’re still young guys too…

No. We already lost the childlike joy of music because we had to start working so much so early and get to know so many new systems. If we also take on the responsibility of raising generations of kids, we could truly fall into a black hole.

We need to be role models, but we can’t shape our work around that. On the upcoming album, there’s a song, 'Muzika za decu' ('Music for children'), which touches on this very point. We want to convey that we’re not addressing generations who think all younger people are lazy bums who only hinder the world’s progress. We’re addressing everyone who is young enough at heart to believe in a better world, a brighter tomorrow.

Photo: Vita Orehek

More and more musicians are stopping concerts at large venues when fans are in distress or overcrowding happens. You too?

Absolutely. This summer, we constantly stopped concerts if people were packed tightly indoors or out in the sun. We handed out a lot of water from the stage, and I even paused a concert if some listener (m.) was treating another listener (f.) disrespectfully. A concert is a safe space; there’s no place there for infringing on the rights of others.

That’s an interesting topic I wanted to touch on anyway. So what is the rock ‘n’ roll world of the new generation like?

It’s a lot better. I’m glad we’re not a group of drugged-out dudes living only for today. Carpe Diem really means seize the day, but for us, that doesn’t mean picking every fruit that exists in the world. Waking up healthy and energised, wanting to go to a concert, being open to meeting new people, our fans, being creative...

That’s what it means to seize the day. Sure, sometimes we go on a trip, we do have fun too. But I’m glad that sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll aren’t our guiding principles in the band. When we watched the documentary about Mötley Crüe, we saw how they started with heroin and opiates and ended with smoothies and fruit. Well, we’re already at the fruit and smoothies stage. (laughs)

“We’re constantly building a relationship that gets deeper every day, even though it seems like it can’t get any deeper,” you told me before the Stožice concert, as I was stunned when you said you were going on holiday with the guys right after the concert. How much do you invest in relationships within the band? We know it’s sometimes challenging to nurture a relationship between two people, let alone five.

This is like a partnership with five people. Except for intimacy, all the other elements of partnership are there. We’re companions. We often live together, work together; the dynamics are demanding. I talk a lot about this with fellow musicians. Recently, I was talking to Mr. Vlado Kreslin, and we concluded that being in a band requires a touch of madness.

Even if it ends someday—nothing is guaranteed—I know I have four lifelong friends. We exist as friends even beyond the band.

Success demands hard work; you’ve told me before how sure you were of your path in the band, of your decisions, and how hard you worked to achieve what you have. And we’re back to the topic that some might say your generation isn’t hardworking, that you’re quick to say what you won’t do at the work place...

The young people I know could hardly be described as not hardworking. I’d rather say we’re diligent, and the drive to work comes from the strong pressure that you need to achieve a lot very quickly, or else you won’t make it in this world. As for them being quicker to say no... Maybe they know they can’t live that way if something doesn’t work. And to live is very costly.

Young people feel they don’t have to stick rigidly to one profession, that they can change courses, jobs, and find something that suits them. We’re far from the days when the son was a blacksmith because the father was a blacksmith, and the daughter stayed home as a housewife. But we also have to know that there’s more and more uncertainty, precarious work.

If Gen Z is the way it is, I wouldn’t attribute that to the generation itself but rather to the Boomer generation. Everything that makes life harder for us isn’t the product of our ideas and actions. But it’s also true that sometimes, you need to stop, think, and make a decision. I’d like to do something today, something different tomorrow, but that’s not realistic. When you’re bombarded by choices from all ends, you have to make decisions. If there are three shirts in a store, I’ll pick one; if there are 250, I might end up buying sneakers instead. (laughs)

You performed at a concert aimed at contributing to the best possible care, treatment, and support for women with gynaecological cancer. You probably get invited to participate in quite a few charitable events; how do you choose them? This concert likely wasn’t a hard choice, as both of your parents are doctors...

My father is a gynaecologist, my mother is a pediatrician, so naturally, when I got the invitation, I immediately thought my dad would be happy if I could perform there. Otherwise, I choose events based on two criteria: whether it’s something important and whether I’m home at that time. I've often had to turn down an event I would have really liked to participate in simply because I wasn’t here.

Life has taken you all over in recent years. What have your parents given you that has stayed with you and has been proven most useful today?

They gave me a sense of normality. I'm an ordinary person who takes everything in moderation. I didn’t become a hedonist, nor did I give in to the patterns that the environment might impose. They gave me a strong sense of who I am and what I am, unconditional self-confidence, and self-respect. And the certainty that I’m never alone in anything.

Recently, the dramaturg Nina Kuclar Stiković and I talked about how Generation Z might be the first to actively work through its traumas, though she noted that taking on such responsibility across generations is a huge task. In the end, you might even feel worse. If you only become aware of your baggage but can’t overcome it, it can feel even worse than if you had never been made aware of it at all, she said. What do you observe around you, in your own generation?

Mental health has never been as openly discussed as it is today. I know many people who go to therapy. It’s actually strange that mental health was never treated before, that this stigma existed. If you have a cold, you stay home, you also heal a broken arm. Today's generations have managed to break free from these shackles. The individual is becoming increasingly more important.

People are working through the things in their minds. And this bothers many people from generations who suppressed everything and unleashed their traumas onto others. I often think how unfortunate it is that we don’t practice everyday therapy in our surroundings. Everyone surely has someone whom they trust. We talk about all sorts of things, but we never ask each other how we are and share that honestly. Now, I do this with a few friends, and it’s really nice. I go to my friends for therapy. (smiles)

Nina also mentioned that patriarchy has wronged not only women but men too. It’s unfair that men couldn’t show emotions and always had to be strong. It always helps if you can share your feelings with someone. What do you think?

The Neanderthal perception of masculinity is passé. We can all first tell ourselves, and then tell others, how we feel and what’s going on in our heads.

This summer, you performed at festivals. Now you have a new album, and you’ll be performing at various venues again, with tickets quickly selling out. It's a carousel that never stops. You mentioned earlier that you caught yourself maybe not appreciating it anymore. What do you do now to keep that from happening?

For the tour that’s coming with the release of the new album, we consciously followed the motto, "I want less." Last year, we played in Stožice, before that in Križanke. This year, we toured Europe, and everyone was asking us what big thing we’re preparing next. But we were only talking about how nice it would be to play at Ljubljana's Cvetličarna again.

Pass by Maribor too, go a bit to the clubs in the Balkans, and that’s it. This is our home; this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We told ourselves that we need to find love in our base again. I’m glad we recognise this, that we’re not just banging our heads against a brick wall. The purpose of this tour is simply to enjoy it.

A few years ago, you told my colleague Robert Rebolj, my fellow journalist, and your fellow musician, that you’d like to have kids while still young. Yet you also say that you're in a period where several of your ideals have collapsed as you look at the world around you. Does the desire still remain?

When I said that, I was thinking I’d have my first child between the ages of 28 and 30. Then Robert told me that having a child young doesn’t necessarily mean that. (laughs) I see it now, too, as some of my friends already have children, and some even their second. My calendar no longer just has friends’ birthdays, but, for instance, the first birthday of a friend’s child. (laughs) Yes, I think a lot about how this world is in many ways not what I imagined it would be, but I guess it’s always been that way throughout history—things have never been ideal. I think everyone, in every era, has felt the world is going to- hmmm, well, that’s how it seems to me too. (laughs)

[mrinafria]

I'll gladly let you kill me then.

-That promise, make sure you keep it.

So I think Daon's backstory is significant for us to understand a bit more about Han Daon as a character. He's got this huge scar from his childhood incident that he never really healed from. Also, he's no saint. We've seen him wavering in what he should/should not do more than once so far.

He knows giving police protection to criminals is a waste but still does it because it's the lawful thing to do. He wavers for a couple of seconds there when Kang Bitna offers to kill his parents' killer for him because the law cannot. From what I see, he's always walked on a thin line between what is right or wrong according to society's definition. He definitely has a violent streak in him; he's just never had to fully give in to that.

You bet he'd have ended up on the dark side after his parents' death if not for his noona who never gave up on him, turned him away, with her love and kindness, from a path that could have led him to darkness and uncertainty. Now that Detective Soyeong is gone, the person who showed him light is gone too. His only family after he'd lost his own, gone. And he's back to being that kid again who had so much unresolved hurt, trauma and angst against the law that didn't believe in him (a wound he still carries). Law that wasn't enough to give him his well-deserved justice. Back then, he had Soyeong who was a human and law abiding individual. Now, he has Kang Bitna aka Justitia, a demon who serves justice in her own way because she knows the human law is faulty. If Han Daon was guided to life and light back then because of Soyeong, would he then give in to death and darkness now, because he is already spiraling as it is and there's no one to bring him back to light?

Why do I feel Kang Bitna actually wouldn't want that? It was different back when she'd stabbed him, but the switch is flipped now, and I think she'd care very much about Han Daon's future and fate. The way she goes 'HAN DAON!' and 'Then you'll end up in hell too' and stares at him like she doesn't recognize this version of Daon--I've replayed that scene far too many times.

Because Bitna may say Daon's morality and tenacity to get to the truth is annoying, but I think she doesn't even know that she appreciates it, which is also why she gets so worked up every time she feels like Daon's faked his emotions or betrayed her with his words: she expects him to be on the side of truth and righteousness.

Even though we see her supporting Daon in the precap for eps 9 and 10, she might go out of her way and even risk her own existence to keep Daon away from darkness later, because now if something happens to him, she'd be the first one to cry.

A part of me also thinks Daon cannot go ALL the way with his revenge because he'd made a promise to Detective Soyeong to always be a detective first and do his job. It's his vengeance talking right now but once that wears off and reason kicks in, I don't think he'd want to kill somebody unlawfully, disrespecting the promise he made to his noona.

Or we could totally have a switch up with Bitna becoming the superego and Daon, the id. It'll be interesting to see if Bitna starts shifting gradually toward the 'unevil' side while helping Daon, having his back and protecting him. She might have to take Daon's life after all (deal with the Demon and all), but at a time when it'll hurt her THE MOST doing so. Maybe the power of Kylum can come to their rescue then, reviving Daon? It also makes me think if the 'Other Thing' you need for Kylum to work its divine magic is unconditional love/sacrificial love, where Bitna would have to willingly give up her life to revive Daon?

*cough* ^I take no responsibility for what I just said above thank you very much T-T

[raayllum]

Was considering making this a ficlet (and I still might) but a tiny meta for day 3 of Snake Boi Callum week: Your Deepest Truth / Complicated.

But I really steadily appreciate how arc 2 builds up Callum's deepest truth, not only in regards to the Knowing motif or the full set up (explored in further detail here), but also in other indications throughout the season. Season 4 starts small, with Ezran's faith ultimately being what Callum 'sees' clearly in 6x06:

Then season 5 takes this same idea — of enduring love, of deep love, of love being knowing and presence in contrast to absence, uncertainty, and lack of / repressed love — and builds on it.

[To love is simply to] know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep. It means I trust her. Unconditionally. (5x01)

Rayla. We've been through a lot, and a lot has changed. Well, some things have changed, but not everything. I would do anything for you. (5x04)

The Ocean arcanum is accepting there are depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control. (5x08)

So 5x01 and 5x08 take that idea of love having untold depths, and link it to the ocean arcanum (and Callum's understanding of the arcanum). Said arcanum is also scaffolded on Callum's experiences on Finnegrin's ship, specifically his choice to do dark magic again, which is also lampshaded by Finnegrin's dialogue throughout the episode referencing Callum's vow(s) to Rayla in 5x04 ("You'll do anything for them" / "I hope you know—" "I know" / "To love is simply to know this").

Then we get to season six, which uses other characters and dynamics to build up to Callum (and Rayla's) connection in 6x06.

Viren's "The path of freedom is the path of truth" in 6x01 sets in motion the — at the time — subtextual notion of Rayla being in opposition to Aaravos and the embodiment of Callum's freedom. Janai says to Amaya in 6x02 that "You are my heart and my truth. If I ever start to doubt you, I'll know that I am truly lost." When Terry encourages Claudia to make her own choices in 6x04, he cites, "Only you can see your own deep truth. Only you can decide the path you’re going to walk. [...] You have to choose the way. What do you need to find your truth?"

So in quick succession, we have truth associated with 1) something deep and inherent, 2) the subsequent path of / to freedom, 3) someone being your heart / that it can be someone in your life. All of these concepts are reaffirmed in Rayla's lullaby in 6x05 with the added bonus of identity:

RAYLA: "Though the sky is dark tonight, I still shine for you my dear. The moon is more than just her light, I am near; my love is here. Though you feel so much alone, oh, my darling, do not fear. Hold to what you've always known, I am near; my love is here. Though my face cannot be seen, the answer in your heart is clear. I am the moon, the silver queen. I am near; my love is here." I know who you are. Esmeray.

Callum goes into the darkness in 6x06, and it's all he can see. He's literally blindfolded and can't see Rayla's face. Yet he sees her — Rayla's love for him, and his love for her — as his Light. As his heart and path and truth. His deepest truth. What seemed so complicated in her absence and confusing upon her return is eclipsed by the sanctity and assuredness of what he knows down to his bones, and thereby knows himself through in his own sense of identity as well.

I would tell you that you all my choices were nothing and you were everything. (6x03) KOSMO: The truth is complicated. VIREN: Life is complicated. But if it's love, nothing else matters. (6x06)

(This is also reflected in Claudia's assertions in 6x08 that Viren "needs to show [her] the right path. You taught me who I am and how to love myself" though we'll see if those hold.)

This also, as noted in the above metas, link to Aaravos' stances on truth. He never lies because he never needs to. Sol Regem accidentally killing his mate is a "deep, dark truth." The tagline for his S7 poster forewarns, "Lies hide in the shadows, but the darkest truths hide in the light."

While Rayla being Callum's deepest truth isn't complicated, the direction his love for her may steer his choices could be truly, temporarily awful, and I for one can't wait.

[lvlyghost]

I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS SO MUCH 😩❤️😍 the way you characterize ghost is so good I can't 😭❤️ I wanted to ask if you could maybe write something for me since your writing style is sooo good frfr

How about ghost and reader have an argument that was started by ghost and he goes a bit too far breaking the reader and making them cry and be just a shell of themselves how would he feel when he sees the readers state and how would he fix it with a happy end please

Broken Wings

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: After a night out, things seem to take a turn in your relationship with Ghost.

Word Count: 2.1k

Tw: angst, hurt/comfort, self doubt, jealousy, probably ooc!simon, curse words. lots of grammar mistakes, poorly edited you know the drill🐝

A/N: i loved this request sooo much, though i did have a lot of trouble when writing it since i wasn't feeling too inspired. also had two different stories but ended up deciding to post this one i might post the other one idk, hope you like this anon! I did try my best🫶🏻🤍🩷✨corrections are appreciated; remember english isn't my native language 🐸

Masterlist✨

"I like you." You said with big bright eyes.

"But no one can know about this. Just you and I. That's enough." He answered, hand tracing the side of your face.

You blink rapidly. You have always been daydreamer. It caused you tons of problems although you tried to do your best when you were out on missions. Ghost is walking ahead of you, boots sinking in the sand beneath your feet. The waves crashing on the shore is something you like listening to and seeing too but under different circumstances. Both of your gear clink with every step you take, it's the only sound as well as the sea that swallows the tense silence that falls between the two.

Things have been rather... strange since two days ago and you've tried to talk to him about it. It wasn't weird for Ghost to push you back every now and then, he was a complicated person and you couldn't be more different from one another.

You were the sun and he was the darkness that came at night or so he had said one night at the common room back at the compound. He was stoic, grumpy and hardly found himself enjoying somebody's company. You on the other hand, even though you wouldn't consider yourself the most outgoing person like Johnny, still you liked talking unlike him. You loved going out with the task force. And most importantly you loved when Ghost joined because you loved him, you loved having him around, despite his gruff responses or annoyed looks.

You jog though your legs shake and tiredness sets in your body.

"How much farther until we get there?" You ask, ignoring the fact that his frame goes rigid when you speak . He doesn't acknowledge you at first. All you hear is a small sigh leaving his lips. You kind of wish he wasn't wearing the damn sunglasses so you could see his eyes.

They always said a lot.

"Thirty minutes. Give or take." The answer is short and cold, breaking your heart a little more than before. Still, you decide to try again.

"Sir, is something bothering you?" Before he can stop it he scoffs, shaking his head. "What?" Brows furrowing on your features. "Simon..."

He stops all of the sudden, turning to face you with a tense stance.

"First of all don't bloody use my name out here. Secondly it's your own fault we've been walking for hours. So don't go asking if something's bothering me, Sergeant."

Taking a step back you open your mouth.

"My fault? I was doing my job!"

"Didn't know your job was to get your fucking head blown off!!" He seethes. "Fucking hell you can't be this reckless and expect me to clap at your poor acting on the field." Your heart begins to race, he had never said such things to you. Taking a small step back your grit your teeth, you hated that his words were making your eyes blurry. This was the Simon you never wanted to see. And yet there he was. "Now we lost the damn intel thanks to you." He spits. But something isn't adding up.

"It's not just that. You've been acting strange for a few days now, Ghost. Don't come and tell me it's just because I did what I was supposed to do!" He stiffs yet again. Jaw clenching so hard you fear he might break it. "Not missing the way you avoid me ever since..." you close your mouth shut. "The pub..." he shifts his weight from one foot to another. The waves are increasing and now reach your feet, dampening your boots. And then you remember him storming off the local pub before he even finished his own drink. Everyone had heard the hard slap to John's arm when he had tried to calm him down. God why didn't you pay more attention to that moment? Because you both had agreed to keep your distances? And going after him was out of discussion? Then the next day you'd barely seen him, just for a short moment during debriefs and that was it. The moment you had gotten up from your seat he was gone. And today you were supposed to go to a special op that had soon become a problem that eventually led to the two of you in the middle of a beach, it was a cloudy day and if it weren't for the heavy layers you wore you're certain you'd be shaking. Sometimes –and you were ashamed of it– you were oblivious to many things and it seemed that Ghost's anger toward you was one of them this time. "What happened?"

He inhales deeply.

"It's over. That's what happened."

Your heart sinks and you swallow hard. Your whole body loses color when he mutters those two words. Out of all the things, all the possibilities you thought he'd say to you, he decided to end everything. Shaking your head you try to touch his hand but he doesn't let you.

"Ghost where is all of this coming from I don't understand!" You choke out. "We were fine..."

"No. You were fine. If I wasn't enough you should've just said so."

"Stop... you... what the hell are you talking about???"

"Nothing that matters anymore. Keep walking and don't say another word. That's an order."

He turns and keeps walking as if nothing just happened. As if he didn't just completely broke your heart.

'You were fine'.

What was that supposed to mean? You think, walking a few meters behind him, scared to even say anything else; to even try to grab him by the arm and force him to talk. It would only make things worse right now.

By the time you reach the safe house it's started to rain the silence between the two is deafening and tense. Ghost's cold demeanor and hurtful words have left a scar. Never in a million years would you think you'd be here, with a broken, shattered heart and no explanation from his part.

Words that pierced through your soul.

That day something died inside you. And he was the reason.

-

Two weeks, three days and seven hours.

That's the time that's passed since that day at the beach. Two weeks since Simon broke you and gave you no reasons.

You're a disaster.

You barely eat or get any sleep. There's dark circles under your eyes and you're sure you've lost some weight too. Ghost has been gone on a mission alone with Johnny for a week now, which left you with a lot of spare time to think about the two of you.

More tears stream down your face when you remember that day. Had you missed something important? Was Ghost's mind somewhere dark? Somewhere it shouldn't be? God knows he was... difficult to say the least. But every single time you tried, tried to be there for him. Did those late nights at your home meant nothing? Had he not seen the way you looked at him? Had you not shown him enough of your affection? Everything you'd do for him if he simply asked?

Getting up from your bed you get ready for another day. Not bothering to lace your boots just shoving them inside your shoes you walk down the hallways until you get to the training room. Gaz is talking to John in the far corner, the Captain's arms are crossed over his chest while Kyle frowns and shakes his head. You don't to even go and salute them as you normally would do, instead you put your earphones on and hit the treadmill.

It doesn't last long though; after one minute someone stops it by pressing down the off button. Your brows knitted together as you stop, turning to look up at Gaz who smiles politely.

"Sorry for that, sweetheart. You okay?" You nod, but say nothing more. "Come here." He pats your shoulder and helps you down from the treadmill. If you could smile now you would. But no even the faintest, softest grin leaves your lips. Gaz takes a quick glimpse at your face and rubs the back of his neck. "You know, Soap and Ghost just got back. Heard Lt. was asking about you."

"Oh." You murmur. "Okay." You don't move nor dare to meet his eyes. "I'll just head back to my room."

"Uhmm. I- what I meant is he's looking for you..." Shaking your head you walk away, not having the energy to face Simon right now. And why did he need to see you? Made pretty clear that you two were done, therefore was no need to see each other unless it was work related.

-

"You really do like it here don't you." Your body goes rigid. This was supposed to be your safe place. The roof of the armory was rarely visited by anyone at this hour. Simon's voice seems softer than ever before but you don't answer. Not even turn to acknowledge him. You hear muttered words and then he crouches down to your level. "Price said you're not eating. Do we have to send you to the military counselor now?" How dare he? After all he caused this. You know he doesn't mean it in bad way, somehow he cares for you deep down. Your hands ball into fists, fighting the urge to snap at him, to push him down and just break him the way he broke you. But you don't because you still love him, and could never bring yourself to hurt him. Simon is staring intently at you, waiting, hoping for any sign. He knows he shouldn't be here. Bloody hell he knows you shouldn't even look his way never again. He deserves it. Every bit of it. "Talk to me, love. Please." It's a low whisper. A plea.

"What do you want Ghost?" You ask softly. Simon leans closer, sitting down with his legs propped up against his chest and arms resting on his knees. It's a funny look for someone his size.

"Jus' wanted to see you." You scoff playing with your hands, refusing to lock eyes with him because if you did you'd be done. "Wanted to explain..."

"Then just do it!" You sob. Your lower lip trembles. "And then leave."

"Fine." He agrees. "But I'm not leaving. I- I made a mistake, and took it out on you okay? I was scared."

"Scared?" Your head snaps to where he is sitting. It's painful just to look at him. "Why would you be scared Ghost?" You retaliate

He grumbles, never fancied when you called him that when you were alone. Quite the contradiction given the fact that he told you not to call him his name that day at the beach.

"Because I saw you." He points out. "That night. Everything you're missing for being with someone like me. Can't even show proper affection because it's not me... and you deserve more than that. More than me."

"Ghost..."

"No. Lemme finish, love." He swallows. It's always amusing how controlled he seems. "I lost it, yeah? You looked so happy. How on earth do I deserve you, on what universe do I deserve ya'?"

Sucking in a sharp breath you recall the moments that preceded the events. The sound of music blasting through the speakers, when you joined the rest of the soldiers on the other side of the pub. Private Miller had slung his arm over your shoulders in a friendly manner. You laughed and drank too much that night, it was joyful. Everyone was there, your team. You never thought he felt that way about it.

"Oh my... Simon." You cover your mouth and cry silently. He hesitated for a moment before pulling you close and into his lap. "Should've known something was wrong. Forgive me... I should've stayed with you, follow you after you left." You cry out.

You were scared too, for very different reasons. That he'd get tired of you eventually, that if you weren't cautious enough your secret would be known. Both would get suspended thus separated and discharged.

"No, love. You shouldn't have to go running after me. I should be running after you. Now forgive me, say you will. Or else I might just lose myself for good." You cradle his face in your hands lifting the balaclava just above the bridge of his nose. Thumb tracing his lower lip. Your tears have dried.

"I've missed you so much, Simon. All you gotta do is talk to me, always." He tightens his grip around you. "You think Price would let us go home tonight and not ask questions?"

His chuckle is short and soft.

"Yeah. I think he's known for a while now."

[about-faces]

I'm still loving Gotham Nocturne and I wish it was getting the love/respect/attention is deserves. I've spoken several people who haven't been reading the current Detective Comics run because they're Batmanned Out (good lord, do I get it) and they see it as just another attempt at some kind of "ultimate Batman story with Batman fighting the ultimate evil," which I strongly disagree with.

THAT SAID... as time has gone on, and the story seems to be reaching its finale, there are a few things that stand out of me as problems with this epic storyline.

1.) It's one of the most egregious examples of "writing for the trade paperback." This simply isn't a story that's meant to be read month-to-month. It's too slow, with too little "happening," at least on the superficial level. Paradoxically, it's NOT a story that should be binged! The best comparison that comes to mind is Better Call Saul, since that's the only other example of serialized media that's meticulously slow-paced yet INCREDIBLY RICH for those willing to engage with it on its level rather than expecting it to be Breaking Bad (or in Nocturne's case, a typical Batman story.) Ram V is capable of writing super-engaging monthly issues, as the fantastic Rare Flavours proves, but that brings us to...

2.) The story is sprawling. Maybe even TOO sprawling. When it comes to people who are sick of Batman, I try to sell them on the fact that this story is about GOTHAM AS A WHOLE, right down to the villains who call it home, and how everyone there is as intrinsically a part of Gotham as Batman is. But ensemble stories like that are tricky, and it makes the focus feel all over the place at times, with alternately too much and too little attention being paid to the main players, Batman included. It's a balance that was handled beautifully with Batman: The Audio Adventures, but it seems a bit more awkward here. Again, it's hard to pull off!

Like, we have characters pop up and then vanishing without explanation. We got Azrael back in the AzBats armor for the first time in decades, like, holy shit! That should be a HUGE development! And then, poof, he vanished! There's simply no time to explore Jean-Paul's character because there's so many other things the narrative needs to explore.

This feels like it would have really benefited from a companion series, something to focus on the characters the way the backup stories have done, but just more so. I think about how Peter Tomasi would write companion books to the main big storylines written by Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, and Scott Snyder, and how he'd focus on character, which always enriched the greater "big important storyline." Which, in turn, also brings me to...

3.) The backup stories have really lost a lot of their punch since they stopped being written by Si Spurrier and were taken over by Dan Watters. Watters is incredibly capable, make no mistake, and his Cheshire/Lian Harper story is one of my favorite parts of this entire saga. But by and large, his tales focus more on the spooky and weird sides of what's happening with Nocturne, whereas Spurrier's stories were more focused on characters navigating the weirdness of the events. As a result, Spurrier gave us what I consider to be some of the very best stories about Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, and Victor Fries ever written. I really miss those, and how they enriched Ram V's (possibly overly-ambitious) narrative.

Ultimately, Gotham Nocturne feels like the Batman equivalent to an arthouse film, which means it's going to be appreciated by a handful of nerds while leaving most other fans cold, and I can't really blame them. If anything makes me sad about all this, it's how all this incredible character work with Bruce, Harvey, Victor, Talia, and others is going to be ignored. Hell, it already is, given the complete lack of acknowledgement we've seen in other Bat-books for what's going on in Nocturne.

At this point, I just hope it sticks the landing in the finale, because I want to be able to have a complete, satisfying epic to recommend to people who want something a bit richer than the typical "guy in Bat costume punches clown" stories we usually get.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.173 The whole truth

I had every intention of waking up early to get a jump on cleaning up the mess, but my bed had me in a chokehold. The room was the perfect temperature thanks to the cooler autumn air and my skimpy attire. I eventually pried myself away from the soft, cool sheets, but the thought of washing piles of soiled dishes made me regret ever leaving my crisp sanctuary. Still, I dragged myself downstairs, fully prepared to insist we call a cleaning service only to find Sophia collecting the last of the plates. That woman is a goddess, and the Watcher must really love me. I appreciated her pro-activeness, but felt bad about her doing all of that alone when we were supposed to tackle it together. Even though I knew there wasn't anything else to do, I still looked around to find a way to help and found piles of dog hair everywhere—even outside. I used to stay on top of brushing Rosie when she and Kooper were our only babies, but now I barely know what day it is half of the time. She's lucky if I'm able to go jogging with her.

With nothing else to do, I jumped on breakfast while Sophia checked on Desiree, who was still asleep. It's been a while since I had a nice, quiet, mess-free meal with my wife. Well, at least it began quietly. My phone would not stop ringing. First, Less called with a wild story about bath time adventures with our terrific trio. Spoiler alert: they were not so terrific, heh.

Next, Maira called to explain why she missed Desi's birthday party. I was so overjoyed to learn she had gone on a date, and it went well! She's finally ready to let love into her life, and I couldn't be more happy for her. I never understood why she was so hesitant, apart from not wanting to be pressured by society's expectations. She has her issues just like everyone else, but she is so sweet and deserves to have all the love she's given come back to her tenfold. I tell her I can't wait to meet him--when the time is right, of course.

Sophia, overhearing my side of the conversation, expressed happiness for the news and hit me with an unexpected question when I hung up.

"What's the story with you two?"

"Story? I thought I told you."

"You did. But you clearly love her. I know you said you were always just friends, but something happened. I think I'm ready to know what that is now."

This is such a healthy conversation between two very mature adults. Even though Sophia has always been very confident about our relationship, we couldn't have had this conversation any earlier than now. We've lived through some things. She's seen me with my friends and understands the love I have for Maira is a different kind of love that is not a threat.

"Okay..."

I sit back in my chair, thinking of what she really wants to know and how to tell this story because it's one of my least fond memories.

"I almost lost her."

Sophia gasped, and I knew this story was not what she had expected.

"The first time I went to her place, she was going to make dinner. Heh, she wasn't much of a cook, but she wanted to try. I don't know how it happened, but the stove... It just...blew up. She was on fire, and I..."

It still pained me to remember how I ran out of there like a coward, leaving her to fend for herself. I think that's just one of those things in life I'll never get over and will beat myself up about it until I'm dead.

"I ran, Sophia. She was completely engulfed in flames, and I left her."

"I'm glad you did," she said. "Fires are so tricky! Both of you could have been hurt, or worse."

"I know. It doesn't make me feel less like a punk, though. Her building has a good alarm system, so the fire department came quickly and saved her, thank Watcher. She was okay, obviously. But I wasn't. I didn't realize how special to me she was until then. It wasn't like I wanted to run off and marry her or anything, but she was someone I wanted to keep. I held her so tight. Her hair and clothes were singed, and she really needed to shower and change, but I couldn't let her go. I refuse to let her go."

"Wow, Luca! I'm so sorry you had to witness such a horrible accident. I see how things are different with her, especially when you feel partly responsible!"

"Yeah. I'm glad you understand."

"I think I was afraid before, but I'm ready to know all your little secrets now."

I'm really glad she asked me about this. Not because I felt burdened and needed to share, but because it brought back the kind of intimacy we shared back when we started dating. It's been so long since we've experienced it, I forgot it was even there. Between the wedding stuff, pregnancy stuff, parenthood stuff, and death, I feel like we've just been surviving for the longest, and I'm really looking forward to get back to living...whenever that is.

Just as that thought entered my mind, yet another phone call came in. It was Dub with a very enticing invitation. He and Maia got engaged last night, and they're eloping! His request that was high key a demand was to join them in Ciudad Enamorada to witness their nuptials. They rented a huge house with enough room for us if we want to stay with them. The only caveat was we'll have to leave as soon as possible because it's going down later today! I gave him a tentative yes because there is no way my best friend is getting married and I'm not there. And to turn down a free vacation? I think not. I told him I'd confirm in a few minutes after I discuss with Sophia who waited anxiously for me to explain the exciting, one-sided conversation she overheard. I honestly thought she would hesitate to make such a big trip in a short amount of time, but to my surprise, she said yes immediately. After all, this is the same woman who asked me to move in with her after our first date, heh. We're going to the City of Love, baby!

[isabeauwolf]

Alright.

Since it's been days since we've gotten to see our beloved birdman Kai Chisaki one more time in the manga, we've all let our feelings out about his ending, either you hated it or not. Felts depressed and sad.

I gotta ask all of my fellow Overhaul, Kai Chisaki stans and fans: What made you pick Overhaul as your favorite character/ Villain in MHA?

What made him draw you in?

Fascinate you?

Fall for him so hard, he drew you away from your previous anime/manga husband or wifu?

Where you a manga or anime only before his handsome villainous yakuza birdman came into your life?

Was it is character design? Mannerisms? His powerful quirk? His plan to erase quirks, his serum and determination to restore the Shie Hassaikai into power? His godly voice by both Kenjiro Tsuda and Kellen Goff?

(Pst, honestly, I love it all ;) His man's got my heart is a death grip; even if, he's competing with Trafalgar Law for my attention and affection, and now Dabi.)

Instead of throwing around all the hate surrounding this man. Let's send him off with a bang! Love, support, the whole she-bang, even if, you still high disagree with his actions towards Pops and Eri.

-------------------------------------------------------------

(If every seems out of order or all over the place, I'm sorry! Please be, patient with me, and thank you!)

I've give my personal thoughts on Kai Chisaki, Overhaul. My yakuza birdman husband here! (huge breakdown/ summary, rant about this man; spoilers ahead!) Not like, I haven't been doing that the whole time, I've been on here XD I've talked with other Overhaul/Kai stans and fans on here, giving my two cents, which I love and appreciate to everyone who's talked and fangirled/boyed with me!

Be warned that I might to ramble, and this whole thing might now make sense, or is all over the place, again, I'm sorry! But if you don't mind, I thank you!

I started off as an anime only, and watched on my own time. Even if I heard AFO's introduction, and All For One's and All Might's battle at Kamino Ward and All Might saying goodbye One For All in subbed first; my husband was watching it the living room while I was on my laptop watching a different series. The music drew me in and I couldn't look away, watching the whole battle with baited breath until it was over.

Then I watched the series by myself since I couldn't sleep months after. Cheering for Deku, smiling and crying with hm.

I watch in dubbed first, since it's hard to focus on subbed while having a toddler running around. XD Then rewatch it in subbed form.

Anyways, at the end of season 3 we get a tease of Overhaul's introduction. His voice, golden eyes drew me in, hook line and sinker.

I've always been a sucker for bad boys and I love a man that wears a suit. lol So it gave Overhaul some brownie points. I know it isn't just me! Don't lie, haha.

The fact that Overhaul straight up challenged Shigaraki for the spot as the next King of the Underworld, pointing out his mistakes and lack of motivation once more; the same as Stain had in the previous hard, showing that Overhaul himself had been in the game a bit longer than Shiggy.

Overhaul while insulting the younger villain was indeed asking the right questions. Shiggy had misused and lost his powerful NPC's during the Training Camp attack with the Vanguard Action Squad, Muscular and Moonfish.

He had every right to question his motives.

Overhaul is blunt and spoke the truth about Shiggy's leadership skills, even if it ending with Magne's death. As sad as it was she did attack him first when if she was defending her belief's and the league, she didn't have to die. Compress didn't have to lose an arm.

The confrontation and damage done on both side makes you see that Overhaul is a dangerous man, with an equally dangerous quirk on top of being able to bring someone back to life if he wanted to, showcasing the quirk erasing bullets. We hadn't really seen an onscreen death before then, or at least, not that I remember.

Overhaul is cold blooded and driven, but calm and calculated; he's a man who's not afraid to get his hands dirty when he needs to, despite his quirks drawback and hate of the aftermath.

When we meet him again with Shigaraki at the Shie Hassaikai underground meeting room, and the bits given by Sir Nighteye, it's clear that Overhaul has the means to til the scales of Villain and Hero society, if he was given more time and wasn't fighting against the clock. He still needed more funding and man power to mass product both sets of bullets.

Had he succeeded and gotten away with his arms still intact, despite losing Eri to the Heroes, we might have seen him and the right bullets again down the line, but it wasn't in the cards.

(We finally get to see Kai, our birdman unmasked and his poor man get's done soooo dirty! First it's his stoic and impressive, criminally handsome face, then Shiggy took his hard work, him and Mr Compress tag-teamed taking his hands away, leaving him quirkless, helpless, in despair and he's terrified! Not for himself, but because without his quirk he can't reverse the damage he's done to pop's, he can't wake him up or talk to him again.)

Underestimating the Heroes, The League, and being overly cocky and arrogant played a major part of his own fall. His isolation from others and seeing his subordinates and closest friend as pawns to be used and thrown away didn't help, yet the men closest to his inner circle were indeed the most loyal of his followers.

It wasn't outright said, but shown that Overhaul himself was forgiving and understanding when Chrono or Nemoto made mistakes, he didn't scold them or yell at them.

( If I missed anything in this summary, let me know. XD )

He's a well written character and villain. A man possessed and obsessed with fulfilling his goals, repaying Pops, the man who took him in and gave him a home, a place to be himself.

The way Pops found Chisaki as a boy, alone, covered in filth and I imagine he was hungry, always made me feel as if we were missing something from his past. He wanted more than anything to replay the man who saved him and rebuilding the Shie Hassaikai's former glory and reputation along with returning people quirkless.

Might have saved so many lives who were eventually lost, but at the end of the day, he still choose the darkest route and solution.

If the Quirk Doomsday theory we've heard about and snippets we've seen so far. Different combinations of quirks are getting stronger and stronger, people like Touya who's bodies destroys itself while using his fire. There may come a time where not even support items could save a person from their overly strong and destructive quirk.

Could you imagine what he could have done with his quirk, if he was a doctor?! He could have replaced recovery girl's position as UA's school nurse or even a Doctor since healing quirks are so rare.

Of course, I'm not saying what he did was justified by any means.

Kai Chisaki, Overhaul is practically The Fullmetal Alchemist in MHA without the use of Equivalent Exchange! Yes, he threw away his human name, becoming, "a demon with no heart" as Pops says.

As we see him fuse with Nemoto and Rikiya Katsukame, each fusion he becomes more monstrous, a much more darker version of himself; fulling giving into "Overhaul," his villain persona, not carrying who he has to hurt to get his way.

I will admit that I'm down bad for Kai/Overhaul and his Monsterhaul form, Nemoto version, but the giant monster form, lol

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Knowing about him being in Dr Garaki's/AFO's orphanage and that Shigaraki has a copy of his quirk. They more they parallel each other so much more after that reveal.

It explains so much about his character!

Kai Chisaki won't flat out say it or address it, neither has Horikoshi but its clear that he was heavily traumatized and abused as a kid before Pops found him.

Oh yes, the trauma bucket! Like our beloved characters in the series doesn't have enough trauma as it is. Let's see how far that habit hole goes for Kai? -_-

The lack of remorse for his victims, justifies his action, manipulative, lack of physical response to violence, deception, and hostel, his acts are usually well planned in advance, irritability and aggressive behavior when provoked, reckless disregard for safety of others - antisocial and sociopathic tendencies.

Lack of empathy, believes he's special and the only one who can cure the world, need for admiration from Pops, his abandonment and self-worth issues go hand-in-hand with his fear of his father figure throwing him out of the Shie Hassaikai with his final ultimatum of dropping his plan.

Out of everything, we only get sprinkles here and there that Kai had done before snapping.

You can see it, the way he tenses and his hands ball into a fists, no doubt, surprised, shocked, hurt even before redirected into anger and violence.

Putting his father figure into a coma, and taking matters into his own hands. Become the villain, we all know and love, adore, praise, however you see him as.

Before becoming "Overhaul," Kai used to get into brawls with anyone who dared disrespect the Shie Hassaikai, and wants to help the boss; protecting the honor of the yakuza and protecting them from being called, "Villains." (Classic delinquent behavior, I imagine he did it in high school since we've seen him do it as an adult.)

We see him wear normal clothes: black dress pants, blazer and purple dress shirt, no gloves and a black duster mask over his face. (I'd honestly, love to see Kai in more civilian, classy outfits! More unbuttoned shirts and all, please!)

Even if Pops scolding him and explaining that they must protect civilians instead of hurting them, the old man still affectionately pets the top of his head and praises him for protecting their honor. Which in itself is a kind gesture, but something I think he took a little too much into his heart.

The scolding for doing something dishonorable, but praised for his intentions has overtime been taken form into the most cold and logical extreme actions.

Nobody can deny that Overhaul's got drip! XD

Overhaul's more professional outfits: the red and gold plague doctor's mask, and white gloves. Borrowing inspiration from All For One, he uses his quirks name as his alias, his Villain name and quirk ability, the idea for his quirk erasing and serum, as "Overhaul", he can kill and wants to change the world.

To preserve the past, he must engage with the present and became a villain out of necessity.

What's the difference?

The differences between a young Kai standing up for his father's honor and the snarling demon he has become. All of it against a world that had clearly outgrown him and the old ways of the Yakuza, but he refused to accept it and to protect his only family and most precious person, Pops.

As we've been in the latest chapter of MHA, without his quirk, without his arms and plague mask, and the last time we saw him. Kai Chisaki, inside is still a boy who wants to make his father figure proud and wants attention and praise.

As Pop's said before he took things too far again, shoving the older man's wisdom and wishes aside, taking action into his own hands, not only crossing the line between the gray that Pop's held against the Villains' and Heroes, Black and White, Kai instead, erased the line and jumped over it, making his own line and walked into a dangerous and dishonorable path.

======= What I missed last minute, sorry guy's.... I'm almost done, I swear! =======

It's clear, that he's smart and well educated, he could have studied as a medical student, read medical journals during his free time or just because he was a huge science and medical geek, we will never know.

My bet's on the ladder, practicing how to control his quirk and for the fun of it. He's the type of person to obssess with something and run away with it, a concerting amount.

You can't tell me that Pop's didn't walk in to Kai's room or living room, seeing Kai asleep on the couch or floor with a book either on his face or on his chest! Or Kai geeking out over a first edition or rare medical journal he found or Pop's and Hari had given him as a birthday present!

The birdman is such a workaholic that he's no doubt forgotten about his birthday, if Pop's or Hari didn't plan something for him!

If Kai is such a health nut and germ, wash your hands after every speck of dusk lands on your hands, then I need to know his skincare routine!

Do you think his hands is soft?

We know he works out from how jacked he is from his back and abs, fuck, I'd gladly claim him like a tree X////////////x

I'm not the only one who wanted him to have those traditional tatts, right? Of course, it's optional and traditional, but come on! I excepted to see the Shie Hassaikai's embalm, sakura or at least, a raven something! Anything! Hell, all three! Well, in my fanfic he does.

Also, Lady Nagant, you lucky woman, getting to touch and dress Kai!

Wish, I could trade places to pamper and comfort this man.

Screw you, AFO, Kai comes first.

I don't care if Kai comes off as stuck-up, spoiled rich brat, a bubble bath princess, narcissist and a asshole. If given the change to rock this man's world and fuck his brains out, you bet your ass I would!

If he could put up with my ditzy, clumsy, sassy, way too honest and smart-ass mouth, then fine. Baby needs to laugh more! I wanna see him smile!

--------------------

Well, it's almost 2am and I'm going to be. XD If you've had to through my rant/rambling of Kai. Share your thoughts with me... again, sorry for it being too long and wayyyyy all over the place.

Of course, I always forget something...... XD

[quillthrillswriting]

now that ao3 is back up, boy oh boy do i have a fic rec for you!!!!

i get that the comics are meant to fill that gap between atla and lok, but i feel like we've always been missing that moment where katara and aang actually formally confess their feelings and talk about everything they had been through. with how mature both of them are, it feels somewhat... unrealistic to me that we're never shown that moment where they talk it all out, after three (3!!!) whole seasons of buildup >:(

this fic was inspired by me wanting to show the moment when aang and katara are finally free from the responsibilities placed on them by the war!!!<3

OR: Aang wakes up the morning after him and his friends saved the entire world, and the first (and only) thing he can think about is Katara. When they get a chance to talk, the two take a walk down memory lane.

---

“Is it ok if I ask you something? While we’re on the topic of… us kissing?” Aang asked, hesitantly. 

Katara nodded. She had a feeling that she knew where this was going. “Ember Island?”

“Yeah.” He breathed. “We never got to… talk about that. After we kissed at the invasion, there was never a moment alone, and I do recognize now that Ember Island wasn’t the right time to bring it up, and I shouldn’t have sprung all of that on you. It wasn’t fair for me to ask you to make such a big statement. It wasn’t right for me to be so demanding. I felt ridiculously jealous over the implication that you were interested in Zuko, and I… well, I reacted poorly. I really am sorry for that.”

“I appreciate you saying that.”

He continued. “But, if you don’t mind me asking… what did you mean when you said you felt confused?”

Katara sighed, drawing water from the lake and tossing it between her hands idly. “I still don’t quite get it, even now. I think the best way to describe it was that I was in fight or flight, locked into survival mode. I did have feelings for you, and I knew that, but I just couldn’t let myself be vulnerable like that at a time like that. I guess that I was worried that if we started something, it’d be a weakness for the both of us. It felt too selfish to distract ourselves from the greater mission at hand when the world was at stake.”

“Ah.” Aang said, thinking it over as the pieces began to click together. “That… that makes a lot of sense.”

Katara continued. “If we’re both being honest, you do have a history of… avoidance, Aang. Giving into my feelings for you felt like it would mean enabling that bad habit of yours, and it seemed like the world needed you more than I did.”

---

Katara fought the blush spreading rapidly across her cheeks as the two leaned closer together. “Do you remember making that necklace for me out of fishing twine? So I could have a placeholder while Zuko had my mother’s necklace?”

He only nodded in response, her proximity rendering him entirely incapable of producing coherent speech. “I still have it. I don’t think you realize how much that meant to me.” She laughed, lost in memory for a second. “The way you looked at me when I put it on… and Sokka said you were acting like you were in love, and I… called you a good friend?”

“Mhm?” Aang asked, about as close to her as he could be without her lips on his. “What… what about it?”

"I don't want us to just be... good friends, not anymore." She took a deep breath, her voice wavering with nerves.

I think we were meant to be more than that." Katara breathed.

---

♥ the rest of the (completed) fic can be found here!! ->

[daintylovers]

Champagne Coast

1.3 The Gamble

Seth Cohen x OC (Hailey Atwood)

"We've got to stop meeting like this," was the first thing out of Mr. Cohen's mouth. "Some good news, Kirtsen's company has dropped all charges, which means after your hearings, you two should be out in no time."

"When's that?" Ryan asked for the both of us.

"Thirty to sixty days." My heart sank to my stomach. I couldn't last another week here, much less two months. Don't let society fool you, girls can be just as evil and twisted as guys.

Noticing my grimace, Mr. Cohen continued, "I could get you both out sooner if I could release you into the care of a parent or guardian."

I watched Ryan turn his attention to the side, so I copied. As nature would have it, that's the exact moment that Ken-doll-whatever-the-fucks-name got released and embraced by his mom. What a joke.

"Hailey, Ryan, you know if I could," Mr. Cohen started to trail off, "It will be okay guys." Was he serious?

"No offense Mr. Cohen," Ryan spat, "but almost dying, having been abandoned, and watching my sister have to live behind bars, doesn't really feel like it's all going to be okay."

"We will find your mother."

That's when I jumped in, "No you won't. And even if you do, she doesn't want us. She made that perfectly clear by leaving."

Mr. Cohen turned his fatherly/disappointed face on, "If you two would have just come to me, instead of running away,"

Interrupting, I said, "What? So we could become social services or a foster home's problem?"

"You two could have died in that house. Hailey, do you even care?"

"Look at my neck and ask me that again." I snapped back, becoming more and more agitated by the minute. The bruises were bright purple this morning, outlining where my throat had been crushed.

"Thank you, Mr. Cohen. But Hailey and I can protect ourselves. We always have." Ryan said, then got up to walk away.

"We'll talk again before the hearings."

Biding him a farewell, I said, "Tell Mrs. Cohen, that I really do appreciate everything she's done for us. The same goes for you," I stood up, then added, "Also, tell Seth thanks. He's probably the sweetest kid I've ever met. Even though he's annoying sometimes."

Mr. Cohen looked shocked at the mention of his son. "Of course Hailey. Again, if you need anything, give us a call."

****

"Get off him!" I screamed.

We had all been in line for lunch, later that day, when Ryan got ambushed by some bigger guy. The guy had pinned Ryan down, and the main one was repeatedly trying to punch him.

When it began, I immediately discarded my tray and went to try and help him. Cause, I clearly haven't learned my lesson on fighting stronger boys.

"Get this bitch outta here!" the main one yelled, and one of his lackeys got off Ryan and stormed up to me. I watched as Ryan started choking from the lack of air he was receiving.

I was flailing my body around, "Get the hell off me!" I screamed. I broke free when I slammed my foot down onto his. I swear I heard a crunch.

The guy let go of me, and I reached for the only weapon I could find. A lunch tray. I swung at my captor first, hitting him across the face, so he wouldn't try and attack me again. Then I ran up behind the main one and smacked him in the back of the head.

I was sort of successful. His attention was off of Ryan. But now, it was on me instead. I tried swinging the tray again, but he caught it. Throwing it to the side, I tried scrambling out of his way. But the one from before recovered quicker than I anticipated, grabbing my arms to stop my escape.

Suddenly, I saw stars. The motherfucker actually punched a girl. Though, we were in prison, so I probably should have thought about that. He went in for another one, but a guard grasped his arm, pulling him back.

I was yanked into a guard's arms but lost consciousness as soon as my head hit his chest. I missed Ryan calling out my name, asking if I was okay.

****

I was still in the nurse's station when a guard stopped by, telling me I had a visitor. The nurse fixed me up, but I was still running late. However, if I had a visitor, than Ryan must have as well, so he could keep them company.

From what I could feel, my lip was busted, and my nose had started bleeding. But both my eyes were fine. I had slight bruising on my cheek, nothing that a little concealer couldn't hide. Not that I had anyone worth wearing makeup that would come and visit.

The nurse released me into the guard's care, and we walked down to the visitor's center. I always tried to joke with the guards. My favorites laughed a little, this one though, was not my biggest fan.

Walking in, I was mortified. I could see Ryan, talking to two people. One with a familiar head of black curls. Someone shoot me now.

I made my way around the table, keeping my head down, so the pair couldn't see the damage that had just been inflicted.

"Hey! I was wondering when you would show." Seth started, already sounding too chipper to be here.

Still keeping my head down, I said, "Had to take care of some things."

I couldn't see it, but his face dropped. Concerned that he had the wrong impression, he tried again, "Well, the house isn't the same without you guys. I miss running into strangers while wearing my Star Wars pants." I laughed at that, recalling our first meeting. He smiled, a laugh was good, right?

"What happened to your neck?" He called out, and I raised my head in a panic. How could he see my neck?

Except he hadn't been talking to me, but with my face in full view, Seth's attention was immediately back onto me.

"Wait, what happened to your, well your everything?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"It's definitely not nothing and no way in hell I won't worry about it. Who did that to you?"

"Doesn't matter Cohen, drop it," I warned. His face fell again at the singular use of his last name.

But luck could never be on my side, "Hey, what the matter mama? Give me a little smile."

Seth, always trying to change the topic said, "Ryan, what happened with you and Marissa? She seemed really weird when I tried to talk to her about last night."

But his questioning went ignored, as Ryan and I kept close eyes on our attacker. "Leave her alone!" I shouted. It was bad enough he had got to me, no way would I let him get to Mrs. Cohen.

"You better shut your mouth bitch. Or I'll make sure you have to get a nose job from how bad I'll break your face." He spat.

Two voices shouted the same thing, "Shut the fuck up!"

It was Ryan and Seth. My heart fluttered a little. No one but Ryan ever stuck up for me.

"Come here, I wanna get a good look at you." The creep continued.

"Seth let's go, now."

"Guards!" Ryan called, sensing the situation take a turn for the worst.

"I only need like two minutes. Five if the bitch from earlier wants to join in, apologize for her behavior earlier." He sneered.

Ryan burst from his spot, "Leave them alone!"

"Seth! Now!"

I stood next to Ryan, "What are you two gonna do about it?"

That was Ryan's final breaking point, as he lunged at the guy, pinning him to the wall. But this guy was seriously string or something, punching Ryan once in the nose, causing my brother to stumble back into the table we had just been sitting at.

Seeing my chance, I grabbed the asshole's head and slammed it into the table, where Ryan had fallen.

"Hailey!" Someone shouted. I turned my head, trying to figure out if it had been Seth or Mrs. Cohen. But suddenly they were both saying it again, and I felt myself being yanked back, falling onto the floor. My head smacked off the concrete, and I blacked out for the second time that day.

Fuck, I probably have brain damage.

****

I felt the worst case of deja vu hit me when I woke up. A guard was telling the nurse that I was being called for. Had that all been a dream?

If it was, I would definitely not look to see who was calling my name. I would probably try to say more to Seth. Ignore the poor boy less.

The nurse checked me once more, warning that if I suffered any more hits to my head, I would need to visit the emergency room. I thanked her, then followed the guard. I met up with Ryan and we were given our clothes from last night back. Honestly, these should have just been tossed. They reeked of smoke and had the ashes dripping across the floor to prove it. We changed, separately, and then walked out into the hot, hot California sun.

It was insanely bright, so it took a minute for my eyes to adjust. But when they had, I had never felt so grateful. Seth and Mrs. Cohen had come to our rescue. Thank god too, cause come dinner, I probably would have actually gone to that emergency room.

Ryan thanked her, but she countered, "No, please don't say thank you. How could I let you two get beaten up in there?"

We both smiled at her, relieved to be in their presence instead of the inmates.

****

"Seth! What did we tell you? No video games," Mr. Cohen walked in but fell short when he noticed his son had company. The same company he had visited before work this morning. "Never mind, have fun kids." Then he made his way into the kitchen.

"You know," Seth started up, "I got a call from him after he left you guys this morning. Something about one of you talking about me. Thanking me for my heroic efforts at trying to provide a better life for you." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"That's crazy," I countered, "Ryan, I didn't know you to be such a sap."

"Oh yeah, I just love little curly-headed boys with obsessions with video games." Ryan played along.

"What kinds of boys do you love Hailey?" Seth singsonged out, leaning his body closer to me.

Pushing him away I said, "Definitely not those types of boys. They're weirdos."

"Oh, awesome. Totally not my favorite type of boy as well."

Ryan spoke up, "Wait, I thought you're favorite type of boy would be handsome and ruggish. The kind of guy who recently served time and has the scars to prove it."

"You guys are ridiculous. Get a room already." I laughed out.

"We have one," Seth pointed out, "We just need our privacy now."

"Be careful Seth, or those rumors about you might start becoming true."

"Who told you about the rumors?" He shrieked. "Was it Marissa? I bet it was."

"Oh my god, I didn't know there were actual rumors." I laughed.

His cheeks turned red, "Look, that doesn't matter, I like girls okay."

Ryan patted him on the back, "Keep telling yourself that man."

"You two are evil, you know that."

Just then, Kirsten walked into the room, "You three are coming with me to set up for Casino Night. Don't worry Hailey, I have the perfect dress for you."

If only I had known that our mother would show up, as we finished setting up.

**** I was in the middle of the world's most awkward dinner.

"What happened to the restaurant?" Ryan asked, at least trying with her.

"They made cutbacks." Our mom answered, with her head slightly lowered.

"You mean they fired you." I pointed out.

"It was for the best," She tried, "You know, the rats and bugs. Disgusting" I felt my eyes roll into the back of my skull. If I was lucky enough they would get stuck back there.

"You seen Trey?"

"Tried. Went to prison, but he wouldn't visit me."

"Wonder why," I said under my breath. Ryan elbowed my side, not in the mood to deal with our impending fight.

Mrs. Cohen tried her luck, "Where are you living these days?"

"I'm in between places at the moment."

"Don't lie to her, Dawn, she means that she's in between men right now." I spat. "What happened to the last one?" I didn't even like him, but I was a little curious. After all, I thought he had convinced my mom to leave with him. To leave us.

"I ended things. He was no good, you know. He laid his hands on us one too many times." Great.

Seth's pity-filled eyes started burning into the side of my head, but I wouldn't look at him. He didn't need to know just how many men had put their hands on me.

"Mom!" Ryan exploded, feeling the same shame coursing through his veins.

"What? I'm just saying. Plus with all his drinking and the coke habit-"

But I cut her off once more, "You mean both of your drinking and coke habits? You're suddenly cold turkey for the first time in two years and you genuinely expect us to believe you. You're full of shit and you know it." I pointed a finger at her. I really wanted to point my knife at her, but for Cohen's sake, I didn't.

Ryan burst from his seat, as Dawn called after him, "Where are you going?"

"It was bad enough living through it the first time, I don't care much for a rehashing of my top ten worst experiences."

He walked into the living room but she was quick to follow him. So I was quick to follow her. I noticed Seth get up to do the same, so I said, "Sit down Cohen." And so Cohen sat back down.

"What are you even doing here?"

"I came back," she started, "to be with the two of you."

"You left us a note." My voice cracked out. "A stupid note, written on a napkin, not even decent paper."

Ryan continued, "You abandon us. You threw us out. You left. You just left."

"It's gonna be different now."

"It's never different with you," I said.

She went to hold me, but I jerked away, "It will be this time. A fresh start. Plus, we've never had this kind of help before. These are good people, and they'll help us become good people." Noticing how I still wasn't letting up, she caved, "Fine, I'll go if that's really what you want."

"No," Ryan started, panicked at the thought of losing her again, "We can try. We can try again if you really mean it."

"She doesn't want me here. It only works if you both want me to stay."

Ryan looked at me, pleading with me. How could I deny him his own mother? He picked me up time and time again, this was the least I could do for him. Yet, everything in my body was on fire. I truly hated her. More than I could stomach. But it was for Ryan. I would do anything for Ryan. "Please stay Mom."

Ryan let go of a breath he had been holding, "We can start slow, okay? We can do this."

****

The next day, I avoided all human contact for as long as I possible could. Mom and Ryan had asked if I wanted to go down to the beach, but I declined, saying I was still sore from the previous day's events. Which wasn't a total lie, but Ryan knew. Still, he didn't push it. Seth ventured in soon after, asking if I wanted to play video games, but I declined that as well. He offered a few other things, but I shot him down each time. He made sure I knew he would be just around the corner if I changed my mind, and I thanked him. Mr. Cohen came in with breakfast but didn't say much else. It was Mrs. Cohen who surprised me most.

She came in, after my nap, and told me to get up. She said it more politely, but still. "There's still a party tonight, and it would be good to get your mind off things. Plus I have this gorgeous red dress you should try on!" I smiled at that, then shrugged my bones off the couch.

Mrs. Cohen, fixed me up to look like a classier version of the Playboy Playmates, and I can honestly say I've never felt sexier. My hair was curled, and the dress had a slit on the side, showing my leg. They don't play about Vegas around here.

When I walked downstairs, I saw Dawn first. She looked alright but paled in comparison to Mrs. Cohen. Full hate.

I walked past her, to stand next to Seth, who looked very nice in his suit.

"You look amazing." He said, sounding out of breath.

"Not too bad yourself, Seth. Hoping to find a girlfriend tonight?" I teased.

He laughed back, "Yeah, something like that."

And we headed to Vegas.

****

Or, a close enough look alike.

Once arriving, I steered clear of Dawn, sticking to Seth's side. We gambled money that wasn't ours and had the time of our lives doing it. I snuck us a few drinks as Seth remarked about how bad of an influence I was.

"At this rate, we might as well get those tattoos from before." He said.

"Yeah and lose our virginities too," I laughed.

We both giggled like schoolchildren at the mention of sex before a pair of dice rolled next to my heels. Bending down, I retrieved them, only to be face to face with Summer, the girl from the first night.

"Hey! Ryan's sister, Hailey, right?" she said.

"Yeah, you finally remembered my name." I smiled.

"Course I did, I have to remember who all the pretty girls in town are so I can either befriend them or take them down."

I handed her the dice, "Noted. Which category do I fall into?"

""First one. But I will warn you, I don't handle rejected well," then she added, "Wait, blow on my dice." And shoved her hands in my face.

I obeyed, locking eyes with her while I bent down to blow in her hands.

"Yeah, definitely befriend," she started, "I'm superstitious and I heard that this will help me win. I hope you're my good luck charm." And then she walked away. Was it wrong that I hoped to be her good luck charm as well?

I turned to Seth, whose cheeks were red once again. He stuttered out, "That might have been the hottest thing I've ever seen. And I've seen tons of porn."

Scrunching up my nose, I said, "That's awful Seth. Thank you."

You're very welcome," then he held out our dice, "Wanna blow on these too?"

My mouth fell open in shock, "In your dreams, loser." I turned my back to him, blinding grabbing his hand, and tugged him to the next game.

We played for a little longer before a crash interrupted everyone's fun. Having a gut feeling, I rushed to the sound. I never wished I was more wrong. It was Dawn. Splayed out on the floor, eyes glassy. Which meant she had been drinking.

"Ryan, Hailey, I must have slipped. It's these damned shoes," then she ripped the footwear off, "Why are you all staring? Someone help me up!"

So I walked away, too embarrassed to be seen near here. Seth found me pretty quickly, "You alright?"

His hands rubbed up and down my arms, "Fine." was all I said.

****

She left again. Not even leaving me a note this time. Ryan had to tell me. He had been crying about it, which made everything feel worse.

I hugged him, gripping his shirt like I was the one crying. He would never admit this to anyone, but the boy cried often. More often than I did. Not that it was a bad thing, but he felt like it didn't match his quiet and mysterious aura.

I let him cry for a few minutes before he pulled away, "We should go eat." was all he said.

We met up with Seth in the kitchen, who wanted to play Twenty Questions. "Are you guys alright? And where's your mom?"

Mrs. Cohen answered for us, "They're going to stay with us for now." Thank god.

[wobblyprinny]

Airing Out My Head

Hello everyone, how are you all doing?

So, as the title says, it's just me airing out what's in my head atm as I try to keep moving forward.

So, while I would never claim to be the most productive or busy person ever, I do still have things I'm trying to accomplish and get done all the same.

I like writing and do dabble in some fan fiction, which is mostly for my own degenerate pleasure and practice for my other personal projects.

See, I've loved video games for as long as i can remember. For me, and like many others I'd imagine, games were a close companion who were always there for me when nobody else was. Not saying I had no friends here, but I was never a huge people person either, preferring a small group of friends to huge crowds. Fun times hanging out with them after school and such back then... but, at home, video games (and especially RPGs) were what kept me company the most.

Times were.... rough growing up back then. Lots of family drama, unconventional relationship with my sister aside, going on at the time.

I'll spare you all the details on that and simply say that... there was no happy ending when it was all settled and things never really got better for anyone until probably long after we all drifted apart. We don't really talk much so we've lost touch with each other... or at least I have. Still, I hope everything is going well for everyone regardless.

But still, it's true what the say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' for what you never really had, only really appreciating it once it's gone.

Now, I'm not saying I'd want to do it all over again or even try to reconnect with them at this point in my life though. Really, so as long as everyone's doing well, then that's enough for me.

No, the thing I wish I had more of in my life is 'the love of family', and well... love more generally, I guess. A little whiny, I know. Sorry about that.

Still, I suppose that those desires are pretty much the biggest things influencing my interests and what I'm trying to do these days.

The biggest of which being inspired by my love of adult indie games and old school RPGs of yesteryear... is to try and make my own.

It's a slow going and very clumsy process for me, but... baby steps. I'll get there though.

If you had to ask me why games, then all I could say is that I just have stories I want to tell and thoughts, feelings, and desires I just want to explore... And what better place than a fictional world I made?

Considering the content of my last post and the realizations I've made about myself... Yeah, 'Family' and 'double love' are gonna be important themes I want at the center of it all. Nothing grand per se, just me making a world and telling the story of a family falling in love with each other while killing monsters in a fantasy world... It won't be for everyone, but I don't care. At the end of the day, this is just for me and no one else. Having said that, I'll update more about that specific project once I have more to share about it.

The other thing I want to do in the short term is getting back into a great manga series I read a LONG time ago after watching the anime adaptation first.

It's called 'Koi Kaze' by Yoshida Motoi.

It's a seinen(aimed at much older, typically male, audiences) romance between a man named Koshiro and a girl named Nanoka.

For those who have read/enjoyed the series, they'll already know the details, but for those who don't, the story tastefully and rather believably paints a very complicated, cute, and bittersweet love story...

Not only is this an age-gap romance, but a GSA consang romance of two siblings who have just been reunited and end up living together.

It's one of the very few pieces of fiction that's come out, officially localized even, that trats its subject matter with the genuine care it deserves.

I guess.. I want to look at it again from the perspective of an adult and see I think of it now after so long. Now, I still love the story, but it's still good to compare and contrast now that I'm older and after so long, especially now that I've come to better understand myself, so I'll post more about it after I finish reading it. It's not exactly a long series, but I like taking my time.

Alright then, see you all later and thanks for reading and I'll see you later with another post.

[angelhummel]

Welcome to the Every Rachel Berry Outfit season 3 round up! It's been a long time coming but it's finally here. And this is also the longest style summary yet, so buckle up! Brought to you as always by the me, AngelHummel

Season 3 gives Rachel 192 new looks. She has the most outfit changes in Michael and Goodbye with 14 outfits each. While Pot O Gold and Nationals are tied for the least amount of outfits, with a mere 3 each. This is also the fewest outfits featured in any episode overall

While Rachel's style matures this season, it also gets a lot more samey. Gone are her animal sweaters, and gone is the variety in her silhouette. These days, dresses are her best friend.

Though she's never been a big fan of pants, that article of clothing is all but eliminated from her wardrobe this season. She's gone from 23 in season one, to 16 in season two, to 11 in season three. And the majority of those are either workout clothes, or pajamas. She also wears a pair for a coordinated group number (something else that is lacking in s3), and a pair as part of her Saturday Night Fever suit. Her only real pants outfit features a pair of shorts - soon to be a staple of Rachel's wardrobe - seen at the very end of the season

Pants weren't the only thing Rachel decided were restricting her legs too much this year. Knee high socks and tights' stocks plummeted this year thanks to Rachel leaving her legs bare more often than not. But of course these signature accessories haven't vanished completely. This season, Rachel sported...

25 pairs of knee socks. Okay, still a lot, but we've cut back from s1's 38 pairs

18 pairs of tights. Again, sounds like a lot, but compared to last season's 45 count...

13 pairs of ankle socks. She was trying something new but must've decided they weren't for her, as they don't appear after the halfway point of the season

As for accessories that have all but been wiped out, the headband fans were starving this season

We see Rachel sporting headband a pitiful 6 times - and one of them was Tina as Rachel! She wears two stretchy headbands to hold her hair back, once during dodgeball and once while in the shower. Then all the girls wear headbands in 3x14's competition. The only real headbands we see her wear are both in 3x22. An homage to her fashion roots, before she can branch out and find new styles

The 2011-2012 school year was a real "Say Something" Hat Year for McKinley, and Rachel was no exception. In addition to her headbands, she also wore 9 hats, along with flowers, bows, blue streaks, a welder's mask, and several other fun accessories for a total of 25 head based accessories

Most memorable of all? A wedding veil, a prom queen tiara, and a graduation cap. Landmark accessories, all of them.

And the final lost staple of Rachel's old wardrobe? Plaid skirts. She only wore two this season. But plaid made an appearance a total of 9 times, popping up in her outerwear and dresses more often. She also featured hearts a handful of times, and even a few florals this season

But the patterns that featured most in her wardrobe this season?

Stripes, which appeared 21 times, and...

Polka dots! Which appeared 24 times.

Rachel's wardrobe also featured 26 costumes this season, including matching group number outfits, themed looks, and all her potential Maria outfits

And of course it wouldn't be an outfit review if we didn't quantify the colors of her wonderful wardrobe. Have to appreciate them now because New York definitely bleaches out her rainbow a little. But for now...

Rachel rocked every color under the sun this season, but some much more than others. While some people, like myself, might associate her strongly with the color pink, that didn't even crack the top 5 this season

Honorable mentions this season are grey and pink, featured heavily in 16 and 17 outfits, respectively

Fifth place with 20 looks is Navy

Fourth place with 23 looks is Blue

Third place with 30 looks is Red

Second place with 41 looks is White

And in First place with a total of 52 looks is classic Black

And finally, to close out this extra long review, we will conclude with a visual list of my Top 10 Favorite Rachel Outfits of the season

[hellsdisneyprincess]

"Before tomorrow happens..." before we possibly die, but he won't say that... "I want you to know I'm proud of you. I always have been. But I couldn't be prouder of who you've grown into." He's been mulling over what to say for a while here, seems there's more.

"I'm sorry we haven't been better parents... I wish we could claim to be perfect and have all the answers, but... none of the mistakes we've made, including recently, have come from a bad place. But I understand that also doesn't make them any less hurtful... even if that wasn't the intention, that's still... what happened."

The event standing out the most to him in recent times being... the way he himself had handled Lilith's death, however temporary that was. Not even thinking about Charlie's need to grieve in that process, essentially having told her to leave him be with no explanation. He had lost his wife that day, yes, but.... she had lost her mother. And no one told her. Until God did - in a cruel twist.

...Lucifer had already apologized for that, at least once. It's.... not something you can really smooth over with a mere "sorry", is it?

It's one more day remaining until this battle that will decide everything.... less than that by now, even.

Lucifer is worn. Mentally, physically, emotionally. These two weeks have been very taxing in many ways. Does it show? It probably does. Even as they are trying to spend this final day resting and spending time together as a family, it's.... impossible not to feel things about what's coming.

"I..." He looks away. "I know you wanted to talk more later, after all this... we'll listen to whatever you have to say. We'll try and make it right, or... at least try and do better moving forward." If they get that chance...

Still. He finally manages more of a smile.

"I really couldn't have asked for a better daughter, Charlie... whatever happens, I want you to at least know that."

"Dad.... I... I appreciate it. Thank you." She struggled to find the words she wanted to say. If they had the time to have that talk right now, she would, but she didn't want pain from this to be her last potential memory with her parents.

"I know you're not perfect, but that you tried. It isn't like you had examples of your own or even literally know what it is like to be a kid or even teenager." She laughed quietly about that remembering her emo phase.

"But with all of your faults, the most important thing is that you live me and did everything you could for me. There are a lot that can't say that. Actually according to some of my redemption exercises, you can say that's pretty rare down here. I am who I am because of you and Mom. For better or for worse. I love you."

[danceofthephilos]

Miya Chinen + Hiromi Higa Character Intros & Takuma Nagatsuka Interview (spoon.2Di vol.71)

"I want to hear the ding of leveling up for the first time in a while. You're fine with it, right?" / "Which of you will skate? I won't mind both of you at once!"

Miya Chinen

"S" Name: MIYA Birthday: February 22nd A middle school first year and a hopeful for the Japanese national skateboarding team. He's a talented skater who can easily pull off high-level tricks. He has a cheeky personality and loves video games.

Hiromi Higa

"S" Name: Shadow Birthday: September 14th The self-proclaimed Dynamite Flower blooming at "S". He uses every dirty trick in the book to toy with his opponents. His public face is that of a mild-mannered florist.

Takuma Nagatsuka Interview

—When you were playing MIYA, what sort of direction did you receive from the staff? What did you consider important to your portrayal?

They told me not to forget that even though he acts prickly, Reki and Langa and the others are precious friends to him, and that left a lasting impression on me. Even at times where he talks like he's keeping his distance and pushing them away, those aren't his true feelings. I was very conscious of trying to convey that contradictory nuance.

—MIYA really gave his all in the BEEF in episode 3. Could you give us your impressions from when you were performing, and tell us your feelings about what Reki and Langa are to MIYA?

Honestly, seeing him lose to Langa, who could still barely skateboard (he's more experienced than MIYA at snowboarding) was devastating to me, and not just as the person playing MIYA! I think for him, who'd lost his friends and is living totally dependent on his skills as a national team hopeful, it's a tremendous humiliation. But because he experiences losing to Langa, he's able to tone down his conceit for others, and thanks to Reki he's able to realize the importance of having friends to free you from despair. I think Reki and Langa become irreplaceable friends and rivals to MIYA.

—Do you have any stories from recording with Reki and Langa's voice actors, Hatanaka-san and Kobayashi-san?

Because of the situation with production, we often recorded in different booths, and being surrounded by our seniors, the atmosphere was tense and we were focused on the work, so I don't have much I could call stories, but it seems that Tasuku likes the same "salt crystal" toothpaste as Reki. (laughter) Oh, and I bought a skateboard recently, so Chiaki-kun and I made a three-person group chat on LINE with him right away and we've been talking about going to skate together.

—In episode 6, enjoying the beach and the hot springs with Reki and the others and get covered in mud, we were able to see the real MIYA. In particular, when he called Joe "papa" and all that, that cheekiness and charm felt so MIYA-like. What were your impressions and memories from recording?

Personally, episode 6 is one of my favorite episodes. Up until now there's been so many developments that there's barely been time to catch our breath, so you could say we finally had a chance to take a break. (laughter) I was happy to see MIYA getting to act like a mischievous middle schooler when he was calling Joe "papa". Maybe he's overcompensating for having lost his friends before, but he's actually a real attention-seeker. He's like a needy cat who can't be left alone, that MIYA. (laughter)

—Are there any other characters in the work you like, or think we should pay particular attention to?

Of course, as the one playing him, I think you should pay attention to MIYA. (laughter) But my favorite character is Joe. I always end up liking muscular characters. He's got that adult charm and manliness. I guess what I want is the things I don't have? (laughter)

—Is there anything coming up in the story that you thing we should pay close attention to?

I assume since watching episode 6, everyone's understanding and appreciation for the characters has gotten even deeper. Episode 7 is past a turning point, so the story's going to pick up the pace and get even more intense from here on out. I'm sure it'll be more exciting and move your heart even more than the first half... Hang on tight so you don't get shaken off!

—Finally, please send a message to all our readers.

The pain of thinking you have no talent. The struggles that come from having talent. The things you lose by having too much talent. This story is born from each and every character's feelings clashing and conflicting. Isn't there at least one character you sympathize with so much it hurts? Through this work, I hope I can convey through MIYA how to face that pain and find a path to overcoming it. Thank you, and please enjoy and support us until the end!

(from spoon.2Di, volume 71 - February 2021)

[asoulofatlantis]

The Falcom Intro before the game starts has the "Whereabouts of light" harmonica version playing it the background. That totally sets the right mood! The music playing at the starting screen is also very nice. Falcom usually hardly ever disappoints when it comes to their music.

Before Trails I never really cared about plus game ^^' Anyway I do have my own save that I can use this time. Which means you should not expect too much XD There was no such thing as legendary weapons or anything for me in this game. I am too lazy for that.

I found it almost a bit odd that we basically started right were we left off, after the first game made it look like we would start after Estelle has started her journey to find Joshua. But I guess that couldn't pass on the chance to make you imagine Joshua carried Estelle bridal-style down the starts and tucking her into bed before leaving XD

Yes... I think "Oh, Goddess" is quite the fitting reaction here. In case you don't know Taro, that means we are in for a fucking ride... a long and painful one that is.

These days, the Präsident of Calvard had to contact them before doing whatever he is planning to do, to make sure they don't intervene because EVERYONE and their mother knows they would intervene ^^'

Wow... its such a wild concept that barely anyone knew about Ouroboros back then. Think about it, some of the Enforderce and Anguise we have today do not even have the age to join Ouroboros just yet ^^'

Everyone always talks about what a great Hero Cassius, but no one ever talks about how much he sucks as a father. He said he left the army after his wife's death to be with his daughter and protect her but we know that he was hardly ever around. He left her with Joshua knowing fully well who he was and that Ouroboros might come back for him and while he trusted him enough to believe he would never endanger Estelle, he still decided to just... let things run his course and let Joshua go when the time comes, not at all think of Estelles feelings about it. He might have saved Liberl and he might have helped the Erebonian Bracers and pulled all his glory-haunt stunts throughout the Sky games but as a father, he is an absolute and utter failure and I wish more people would recognize this.

*applauds her* I couldn't agree more Schera. Thank you for saying out loud what I was thinking! (Also... prove that Olivert made the best choice in marrying her! When there is one thing our dear Prince... uh... Bard needs than it is a woman who doesn't hold back when it is time to say what is need to be said.)

Oh look! Its everyones favorite green Onion... (I love you so much Nadia ♥)

I was NOT looking forward to this reunion. Kevin and I do not go along well. Crossbell told me I do NOT want him to day... but I did like the fact that he didn't show up for 7 games. It was... a peaceful time without him I tell you...

HOWEVER this is the first Grahlsritter we ever met.

Well... I mean... I am glad he got relatively quickly that his flirty attitude was... uh... not exactly welcome. But... he is not a person to guide lost lambs. We should actually guide him back to his girlfriend instead. (What is wrong with those guys with actual ships being so darn flirty? - Okay to be fair, his ship is not introduced in this game and it is certainly not sailing yet.)

My poor girl... but it was about time she let it out.

I don't like Kevin for his flirty attituede with a freshly heartbroken Estelle and some other things we will talk about later, but you have to hand it to him, that he was a nice guy here. He KNEW Estelle was fooling herself and in absolut utter denial and that she would come home all hopeful and sure Joshua would be there just to find he is not and he decided to go with her so she wouldn't be alone when that happens. I do appreciate that.

But we've just arrived! There is no way in hell they could be here this fast, if they have not taken the Arsaille to get here. Our plane just landed after all.

Oh the Hero of Liberl needed Schera to give him a lecture to understand he wants his son back? What an idiot!

So... with all that out of the way... and a new resolve to give us strength, lets get the party started!

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Or, a post which is so terrible, so full of atrocity that it would be best if you averted your eyes. To take this post and print it only to shred it, lest all innocence in the world be lost. We again advise you to please, turn of the computer now and run from it as fast as you are able to and enjoy the great outdoors instead. Perhaps a spot of hiking, which will do you much more good than this meandering misery.

Y'know, I was barely a kid anymore when I read these the first time. My father was actually the one who collected the entire set, the new book on each release and read them through right away. And then he pushed them onto me when he was done. He did that a lot, pushing me toward books he liked and I don't think I ever showed the appreciation I should have at the time.

But this post is more about revisiting them recently and finding out how strongly they aged. I mean certain things and details definitely got caught up in cultural changes, as they are wont to do, but the core idea there?

A Series of Unfortunate Events is about how much people can suck. It's about good intentions always getting run aground by politeness. It's about how a paper thin veneer will stop justice, if not outright use it to its own advantage. Like the maddening marriage scene. All of the adults sitting around going, "Well, it's all legal! There's nothing we could possibly do about this! Oh damn we've been had, we'll be sure to be very cross about this when we read about it in the paper." Like... What the fuck do you mean there's noting you can do go up on the stage and introduce the Count's face to your fist! You heard him say "drop the baby"! There have to be laws about this but no one knows any?

Of course they don't, because an adult is constantly stepping around the carefully-cared-for grass of their neighbor, while a child only sees the cannon pointed at them from the window and wants to hurry.

"But it's such a nice lawn and look, there's a window! He wouldn't break his window to shoot us!" The adult says, noticing and not caring about the lit match in the cannoneer's hand. Or the "I hate windows" shirt.

The metaphor ran wild with me for a moment but I'm not going to apologize for overuse of metaphor when it comes to these books.

And I think that's really the core of what the series is. It's one that remembers how arbitrary and ridiculous people seemed when one was young. And hell, it remembers how ridiculous people still are. It's an endlessly frustrating work where you wish just one person would just listen to (which used here means believe in) you. That something was wrong, or that life doesn't have t o be this miserable. Or that yes we can do something I just need you to volunteer a little of your time and goodwill. But volunteers are few and far between. And so very often put in harm's way.

But, way back when. When Dad first put that book in front of me and said "I think it'll help you." That was the most lifelike depiction of doing good I'd ever seen. It's not a heroic and splendored thing celebrated by parades. It's quiet and tricksy and enjoys spending time in dark alleys and secret tunnels. Where its shadow looks suspiciously like evil and you have to try really hard if you want to separate the two or else get led astray.

In reality, "doing good" is just "doing your best".