#and i sincerely doubt anyone would go back and check my work so im not too worried lol
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angelhummel · 10 months ago
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Welcome to the Every Rachel Berry Outfit season 3 round up! It's been a long time coming but it's finally here. And this is also the longest style summary yet, so buckle up! Brought to you as always by the me, AngelHummel
Season 3 gives Rachel 192 new looks. She has the most outfit changes in Michael and Goodbye with 14 outfits each. While Pot O Gold and Nationals are tied for the least amount of outfits, with a mere 3 each. This is also the fewest outfits featured in any episode overall
While Rachel's style matures this season, it also gets a lot more samey. Gone are her animal sweaters, and gone is the variety in her silhouette. These days, dresses are her best friend.
Though she's never been a big fan of pants, that article of clothing is all but eliminated from her wardrobe this season. She's gone from 23 in season one, to 16 in season two, to 11 in season three. And the majority of those are either workout clothes, or pajamas. She also wears a pair for a coordinated group number (something else that is lacking in s3), and a pair as part of her Saturday Night Fever suit. Her only real pants outfit features a pair of shorts - soon to be a staple of Rachel's wardrobe - seen at the very end of the season
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Pants weren't the only thing Rachel decided were restricting her legs too much this year. Knee high socks and tights' stocks plummeted this year thanks to Rachel leaving her legs bare more often than not. But of course these signature accessories haven't vanished completely. This season, Rachel sported...
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25 pairs of knee socks. Okay, still a lot, but we've cut back from s1's 38 pairs
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18 pairs of tights. Again, sounds like a lot, but compared to last season's 45 count...
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13 pairs of ankle socks. She was trying something new but must've decided they weren't for her, as they don't appear after the halfway point of the season
As for accessories that have all but been wiped out, the headband fans were starving this season
We see Rachel sporting headband a pitiful 6 times - and one of them was Tina as Rachel! She wears two stretchy headbands to hold her hair back, once during dodgeball and once while in the shower. Then all the girls wear headbands in 3x14's competition. The only real headbands we see her wear are both in 3x22. An homage to her fashion roots, before she can branch out and find new styles
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The 2011-2012 school year was a real "Say Something" Hat Year for McKinley, and Rachel was no exception. In addition to her headbands, she also wore 9 hats, along with flowers, bows, blue streaks, a welder's mask, and several other fun accessories for a total of 25 head based accessories
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Most memorable of all? A wedding veil, a prom queen tiara, and a graduation cap. Landmark accessories, all of them.
And the final lost staple of Rachel's old wardrobe? Plaid skirts. She only wore two this season. But plaid made an appearance a total of 9 times, popping up in her outerwear and dresses more often. She also featured hearts a handful of times, and even a few florals this season
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But the patterns that featured most in her wardrobe this season?
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Stripes, which appeared 21 times, and...
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Polka dots! Which appeared 24 times.
Rachel's wardrobe also featured 26 costumes this season, including matching group number outfits, themed looks, and all her potential Maria outfits
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And of course it wouldn't be an outfit review if we didn't quantify the colors of her wonderful wardrobe. Have to appreciate them now because New York definitely bleaches out her rainbow a little. But for now...
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Rachel rocked every color under the sun this season, but some much more than others. While some people, like myself, might associate her strongly with the color pink, that didn't even crack the top 5 this season
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Honorable mentions this season are grey and pink, featured heavily in 16 and 17 outfits, respectively
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Fifth place with 20 looks is Navy
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Fourth place with 23 looks is Blue
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Third place with 30 looks is Red
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Second place with 41 looks is White
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And in First place with a total of 52 looks is classic Black
And finally, to close out this extra long review, we will conclude with a visual list of my Top 10 Favorite Rachel Outfits of the season
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calpops · 5 years ago
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first time touring preschools w cal 😢🥺
It was mid afternoon, three preschools previously toured and your tired son tuckered out in Calum’s arms when you finally came across one that seemed of interest to both of you. It was a small school, less students than the last two. It had a homey vibe; run by mother and daughter with sincere eyes and warm words of welcome as you stepped through the entrance. Small plastic chairs and tables dotted the open room, chalkboard with scribbles and attempts at letters and numbers along two dashed lines brought a small smile to your face. It wasn’t until you were wrapped up in conversation with the mother and daughter that you were nearly certain this would be the right place for your son. Calum shifted with your boy still dozed off in his hold, took in all the school had to offer. You watched him, checking for body language to see how he was responding and if he liked it as much as you did.
“We have a playground out back, recess three times a day weather permitting. Fresh air does the kids good,” the mother explained. “We have an annual field trip to the fire station, it’s usually the kids favorite. They get to explore the entire station and sit in the truck.”
You knew if your son was awake he’d be beaming with shining eyes and an insistence of wanting to go in that very moment. His room at home held dozens of firefighter themed toys; trucks and hats and story books alike. You caught Calum’s eye and the deepening smirk, knowing he was having the same thoughts as you.
“We really strive to teach with a hands on approach,” the daughter added. “Letters and numbers are important but so is building good social skills and awareness of the world.”
You weren’t sure there was anything else that needed to be said to sell you on this preschool; but there was a nagging reminder and doubt that rang small bells in your mind. This was the first time choosing a preschool, the first time trusting strangers to help teach your son more than just the alphabet. To make a decision in the moment would be rash. You thanked them for your time and told them you’d be in contact. The walk to the car filled your head with questions. It wasn’t until you were nearly home that Calum spoke up.
“I think the last one is the right one.”
You took a deep breath and nodded. “I think so too, but I want to be sure.”
Calum shot you a look, hands lightly drumming on the steering wheel. He turned his attention quickly back to the road and bit his lip for a moment as he pondered.
“Do you want to tour more options?” He asked.
A part of you wanted to say yes and another part had a feeling more options wouldn’t live up to the last. “I don’t know. Are you sure the last one is good enough?”
“It’s got everything he could need or want,” Calum began and as he continued you realized you already knew exactly what he was saying. “A lot of outside time; you know how stir crazy he gets being cooped up inside all day. A small class size would be less overwhelming for him. And if he found out we didn’t choose the school that goes to the fire station, there would be h-e-l-l to pay.”
You giggled but let his words reaffirm what you already knew. “Then I think it’s a done deal.”
Calum smiled, eyes flicking to the rear view mirror to take a glimpse at your still sleeping son; T-shirt rumpled and curls in disarray from a long day of touring schools.
“You think they need a chaperone for that field trip?” Calum wondered aloud; voice trying to curb excitement.
You let out a full fledged laugh. “That’s why you want to choose that school. You want to sit in a fire truck.”
Calum feigned offense. “I want that school because I agree with its teaching methods and value of fresh air time,” he defended and tacked on, “the fire truck is just a bonus. How could you be against a little father and son field trip bonding time?”
You rolled your eyes while laughing and decided at that moment your minds were made up. You loved the school and trusted the sincere and seemingly nurturing mother and daughter duo to help teach your son through one of his formative years.
“When we have another kid I could go again,” Calum said with a splitting grin and teasing tone.
And Calum loved the annual field trip to the fire station.
***
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Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This work is not allowed to be uploaded by anyone else in any format (translations included).
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pestopascal · 4 years ago
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why are you defending cyberpunk so much? its a really buggy mess, it barely works on even some of the best pcs, they lied when they advertised it working on the ps5 but not ps4, and there were a ton of issues even before release happening with their social media team
my point is that people pick and choose when they wanna throw their arms up over the standard that is AAA gaming releases, and has been since prooooobably da2′s release (14 months to produce and release a game). maybe even earlier if you consider kotor2′s release (aka, given 11 months to make a game).
my point is that fallout 76 was an unplayable, game breaking, exploitative game riddled with many of the same issues. and i dont know anyone who continues to play it to this day but i know faaaaaar more people who refunded it or cancelled their orders just prior to launch because they didn’t want to brick their consoles.
my point is that one of the biggest blowbacks towards crunch was in regards to rockstar and red dead redemption 2′s release, a game which is now heralded as one of the best of all time, despite the way it treated everyone who worked on it. the moment it fixed everything, people forgot about just how hurt people working on that game were
my point is that skyrim is treated with this gentleness and fondness for dragons flying backwards and giants leaping into the sky and glitched quests (and how trophies, still to this day, sometimes will never work so you will have to put in another 100+ hour playthrough to be able to MAYBE get something). the irony in sony going after cp77 but STILL not forcing companies to fix broken quest lines
remember daa, with the silver mines? how if you happen to get that bug, that’s it. you basically have to restart. all ur items are gone, you can’t proceed. boom. bioware has never made an effort to fix it. they just released awakening as is, and proceeded onto their next project.
you also have to take into account that, okay sometimes they can’t pick up on all the glitches prior to testing like one or two are gonna slip through! but there’s a difference between that and a glitched out unplayable mess. cp77 honestly isnt unplayable, in fact it is one of the better games ive played at launch in a long time. do you know what gets these ppl notes and likes on the internet? blowing this shit out of proportion. in my 30+hrs of playing already, where im still just wandering around and picking up side missions and checking out clothes and whatever, sincerely have not seen half the shit ppl have said. not that it isnt true! the screenshots and vids are there! but people are piling it on, completely and totally, just for the sake of interest.
remember when mass effect andromeda dropped, and they had that beta test version that like journalists got to play, and how the models for cora and ryder had weird kind of motions and how sara ryder’s facial expressions are still a meme to this day? and how it kept getting piled on sooooooo much when it was like... not actually like that gameplay wise, and the story was quite nice, but who actually talks about that when you can talk about how bad the game looks ugh loading sequences ugh 360 head spins. fallout 4 had those weird smiles coming from npcs that are quite haunting, weren’t fixed.
you can actually tell that cdpr paid attention to writing a story that works, the endings are cathartic and not 2edgy2bedifferent like me3′s fucking starchild bullshit. also speaking of games who spent so long in production their story fucked up: persona 5 and final fantasy 15 are examples of spending too long being worked on with the story that despite how good it looks, it is a vapid excuse of a game that you HAVE to play either sequels or the dlc to get the full brunt of it. remember persona 5′s advertising? COMING SUMMER 2013. final fantasy 15 was ff versus for the lonnnngggeeesssstttt time too before square enix took it upon themselves to fuck it up and then GET MAD when ppl pointed out the story was kind of shallow (and also “why arent you releasing ff7r already”)
oh and then we also have things like kingdom hearts 3, which was quite frankly? awful and was FULL of corporations just getting their hands on it and doing whatever with it story wise (disney wanted frozen to feature so bad they intervened completely). borderlands 3 which keeps messing with the dlc and im amazed they even keep trying. bl3 was the sequel no one asked for, because it had no idea what it was doing. it was setting up to a story that i think very few ppl are now interested in.
yes cdpr lied. yes there are issues with their social media team. who do you actually blame though? the investors? corporations like sony and microsoft who no doubt wanted the game released as well? project managers, their bosses, the CEO? shareholders? fans who wanted the game now instead of putting up with another delay because lets be real: if a company needs to delay the game, they need to delay the game. its a demand and supply thing going on and the ppl who sit behind desks just see numbers they dont give a fuck about the people and we all know this. it fucking sucks.
this is not the first company, this is just the most public blowup because this game was teased in 2012 and people have held out for years and i get it! i do! ive been waiting for this game for years as well. and we can argue about how you shouldnt preorder games or not play stuff at launch or like how you should already have the latest console that has been sold out since it was announced and wont arrive in your country until march ! this can go back and forth and we can talk circles around cdpr but the point is: this isnt the first instance of it. it wont be the last.
if sony actually gave a fuck, they would review every single goddamn game that has been released to this day and has had bug reports. they dont. this is to clear up their public image. these companies truly dont give a fuck. bethesda admits to relying on fans to make their games playable with modding and to ALSO keep track of their story because it doesnt matter to them.
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darkblueboxs · 5 years ago
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howdy i love your aftg writing!! here’s a concept: i feel like once neil’s past is out, he has no reason to hesitate absolutely sucker punching someone. like we know he made neil a pushover because it raises less questions, but now that everyone knows who he is im SURE he’s just bitch slapped someone mid-game. no holding back, like if u say something fucked up he’s just gonna try to kill you!! do you know who this man is?? there’s no doubt in my mind that he knows some quick and lethal punches!
Oh yes, anon. Bruiser!Neil I can DEFO get behind. 
Here’s 3k of Neil punching stuff, and Andrew being wildly turned on by it. Read here or on AO3 (Check AO3 notes for content warnings, etc.)
*Edit* : In the original version of this fic, Nicky faces racist abuse in addition to homophobic abuse, and quotes the offensive language and slurs used against him. After concerns were raised regarding how I handled this abuse (specifically, the language used, the context in which the abuse takes place, and my position as a non-latine) I censored and subsequently removed the relevant dialogue. I sincerely apologise and promise to do better in the future. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions and concerns regarding this subject.
[01/06/2020]
All the Guys Love a Bruiser
Neil’s mother taught him how to throw a punch, of course she did. Their lessons took place anywhere spacious enough to swing a fist, in empty parking lots behind greasy gas stations or in dingy motel rooms if she thought the walls were thick enough to cover up the noises they made.
Mary had always been more flight than fight, an instinct she had forced into Neil over years of running. Even she had to admit, however, that sooner or later they would hit a dead end, and while that would spell certain death for both of them, it would be better to go down fighting than it would on their knees.
If their lessons ended with Neil aching black and blue, it was his own fault. He needed to be quicker, smarter, crueller. More like his mother.
Matt’s teaching style is different from Mary’s, as is his fighting style. It bears the hallmarks of professional athleticism, all stances and positioning and strategy. While his mother’s idea of a lesson in self-defence was to hit Neil until he figured out how to dodge her blows or hit back, Matt talks him through how to angle his body, how to make a fist in a way that won’t break his fingers. At the end of their first boxing lesson, the only bruises on Neil’s body are the light purple spreading across his knuckles.
That evening, he and Andrew take over the beanbags, TV muted in the background while they dig into ice-cream. The tub is pleasantly cool in Neil’s hands, and he rubs his knuckles against the sides like an improvised icepack. When the residual cold has melted away, Neil flexes his fingers, enjoying the faint tingle dancing across them. These marks are different from those his mother gave him; they weren’t inflicted on him unwillingly but earned with sweat and exertion. When Matt had let go of the punching bag and told him they were done for the day, Neil had been surprised by his own disappointment. He had never been sorry see the end of his mother’s lessons.
Andrew takes his hand suddenly, startling Neil from his thoughts. It’s a purely analytical touch; he turns Neil’s hand over and runs a finger across the blossoming bruises of his knuckles.
Neil bites back the I’m fine, knowing the look it would earn him. Instead he says, “I had fun. We’re meeting again next week.”
Andrew nods. It’s a few moments more before he relinquishes Neil’s hand, however. The heat of Andrew’s skin mingles with the singing twinge of Neil’s bruises like an after-print.
Next week, Andrew slouches into the gym after Neil. He ignores Matt’s invitation to join them, flopping onto a rowing machine and leaning back against the machinery so he can kick his feet up on the seat rail. They’re lucky that they chose unsociable hours for their workout, or a line of athletes would be forming to glare at him.
Andrew watches them train from across the room with apparent disinterest. He can feign boredom all he likes; Neil knows he wouldn’t have bothered following him to the gym without reason.
Matt, if anything, seems amused by Andrew’s presence. “Dan comes to watch me practice sometimes, too.” He pauses to correct the angles of Neil’s feet before nudging his arms into blocking positions. “She did it even before we started dating. She used to sit on an exercise bike and pretend she was cycling so I wouldn’t know she was there to watch me. It was never very convincing.”
“Why did she want to watch you?” Neil shifts his weight, trying to copy Matt’s position.
Matt’s face crinkles up with laughter. “That’s the most Neil thing you’ve ever said.”
“Everything I say is a Neil thing.”
“She liked it when I took my shirt off. C’mon, man, join the dots.”
“You don’t take your shirt off to box.”
“Yeah,” says Matt. “Don’t tell her that.”
Neil rolls his eyes. “Can I hit you now?”
Matt barks out a laugh, and training resumes.
“Enjoying the show?” Neil asks Andrew an hour later, dropping down on the gym mat next to him. Andrew hands Neil his water bottle with an unimpressed look.
“You’re awful.” Andrew flicks a look over to Matt, who is using their break to chat with the only other gym regular insane enough to be working out at the crack of dawn on a Sunday. “He could knock you on your ass with one right hook.”
“I know I’m awful. That’s what training is for.” Neil pauses to gulp down most of the bottle. A droplet escapes his lips and tracks down his jugular before falling into the dip of his clavicle. Andrew’s eyes track its path. “Matt isn’t going to hurt me. Is that what you’re worried about?”
“I’m not here to babysit you.”
“Huh.” Neil drains the last of the water before shaking the residual droplets over his head. The beads glint in the corners of his vision as they catch in his bangs and fleck his cheeks, mercifully cooling against his skin. Andrew is still watching him intently. His eyes flick to Matt once more, checking that he is still absorbed in his conversation.
“Yes or no?”
“Yes,” Neil replies, and he watches as Andrew takes Neil’s hand in his. The skin is flushed from strike after strike, not yet coloured in bruising patches but soon to be. Neil’s hands feel softer for it, sensitive to Andrew’s touch.
“I know my limits.” Neil isn’t sure why the gym suddenly feels three degrees warmer. “Really, it doesn’t hurt.”
“I know. I trust you.” Andrew sends one more look over Neil’s shoulder like he’s checking the coast is clear before pressing Neil’s knuckles to his lips.
The breath Neil was in the process of catching slips from his grasp entirely. “Oh.”
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“You like watching me fight.”
“It’s more interesting than watching you run.”
Neil leans in until he can see each individual freckle on Andrew’s cheeks. “Interesting?”
Andrew’s cool look is betrayed by the twitch of his jaw. “Something like that.”
If Matt notices Neil’s new vigour when they return to practice, he doesn’t comment on it. When he catches Neil’s eye, however, he grins knowingly. Perhaps Matt’s conversation had not been as absorbing as he made it out to be. Soon, however, the rhythm of the exercise draws Neil’s attention back to the task at hand.
Neil first learned to throw a punch because his mother believed that one day his life could depend on it. That isn’t the reason that he has resumed his training with Matt; it turns out that a good instructor and fewer death threats make the activity far more pleasant than Neil remembers. It may be a useful skill, but he values the challenge more than he does the practicality. The physicality, too – in fact, he likes boxing for the same reasons that he loves Exy. Quick, brutal, thrilling. He finally understands, too, why Andrew likes to spar with Renee whenever his emotions get on top of him. There’s a certain a sense of control that comes from putting his fist through a break-board. Not that he needs the empowerment as much as he once might have – most of Neil’s tormentors were killed long ago, his fears with them. Given his new life of safety and security, it’s likely that he’ll never really need to know how to throw a good punch.
It takes all of one week for Neil to be proven wildly, wildly wrong.
Opposition strikers – with one glaring, now very dead exception – are not typically Neil’s problem. Generally, if they end up playing on the same side of the court as him, something has gone wrong in the team’s strategies.
He can tell even from a distance, however, that one of the Terrapin strikers is causing difficulties. Not in terms of ability – of which Terrapin’s #13 has little – but in attitude. Thirteen is a vocal player, and Neil can hear snatches of his voice echoing across the court. No fists have been swung, which is an impressive feat for the Fox defenders, but perhaps only because the luck of substitutions has put Thirteen against Nicky more than anyone else, and Nicky is more likely to react to insults with mirth than anger.
Shortly before the end of the first half, Nicky is subbed off at the same time as Thirteen. Nicky passes Neil on the way to the court doors, clacking their racquets together with half a smile. “Give them hell, Neil.”
Thirteen passes them at the same moment, slamming Nicky’s shoulder as he passes. Nicky mutters a word under his breath that would have earned him a month of washing-up duty at Abby’s house before heading for the Foxes’ bench. Neil watches him go, eyebrows creasing together. Nicky isn’t easily upset by the cruelty of strangers; it’s the cruelty that comes from within his own family that is most likely to shake him from his good humour. The barbed insults of nameless players on the court, on the other hand, are usually brushed off with a rude gesture and no more.
Swept up in the rush of the match, Neil forgets about Nicky’s discomfort until half-time. The team pours from the court in high spirits; they have a decent lead over the Terrapins which should carry them through the second half when exhaustion starts to kick in. Nicky, despite having blocked more shots on goal than anyone, reacts to the arrival of the rest of the team with only a pallid grin. His grip on his water bottle is tight, and the cheap plastic crackles and caves in his hands.
Nicky is an easy read, and it doesn’t take long for the other Foxes to notice. After he brushes Renee’s concerned enquiry off, however, the team leaves him be.
When Neil returns to the court for the start of the third quarter, he breathes a sigh of relief to see that Thirteen is nowhere near Nicky. He’s standing closer to goal than Neil is happy with, but Andrew is more or less impervious to verbal abuse and Thirteen has yet to show signs of physical violence. As much as he wants to keep a closer eye on the situation, Kevin’s barked commands draw his attention to the match at hand. The best thing Neil can do for the Foxes’ defence is to spend as much time lobbing the ball at the Terrapin’s goal as possible.
Neil and Nicky are substituted at the same time; they collapse onto the bench and drown their exhaustion in Gatorade. Thirteen crushed Nicky against the wall moments before the substitution, and Nicky is uncharacteristically quiet as Abby examines the cut over his eye.
“You’re not whining about cramping your style,” she says as she presses a plaster in place. “Should I be worried?”
“Nah, this is great for my style. All the guys love a bruiser.” Nicky winks despite the blood crusting in his eyelashes. “Neil knows what I’m talking about, don’tcha, Neil?”
Abby makes a noise that isn’t convinced, but doesn’t press the issue. Neil waits until she’s out of earshot before saying casually, “I still have a few contacts in the mafia.”
“Your sense of humour is dire,” says Nicky, but he’s grinning, so Neil counts it as a win. “Don’t worry about it. I think Andrew’s drawing his fire now. Andrew handles that kind of thing a lot better than me.”
“What kind of thing?”
Nicky winced. “Don’t ask.”
“Tell me.”
“Let's just say he isn't exactly lining up to lead a Pride march.” Nicky snorts humorlessly.
The joke doesn’t land, and not because of Neil’s non-existent sense of humour. He may not be as obvious as Nicky in his preferences nor as dark-skinned, but he has still been on the receiving end of enough of that brand of bullshit to know how it scratches at one’s insides.
“I wasn’t joking about those contacts.”
Nicky sighs. “I was worried you would say that.”
Neil’s attention keeps slipping from the game and over to Andrew, who is standing in goal and ignoring the tirade of insults being thrown his way like a statue facing down a breeze. His non-reaction only seems to stoke Thirteen’s fury, spittle catching in the mesh of his helmet as he watches Andrew knock yet another attempt away from the Foxes’ end.
Andrew spares Thirteen no more than a second of blank indifference in the face of his tirade. Then he drops his stance, shoulders setting into a silent challenge that sends a hot bolt of excitement straight Neil’s to gut. Andrew is locking down the goal.
The Terrapins don’t score again for the rest of the match.
Neil is through the doors before the final buzzer has died, charging into the crush of Foxes at centre-court to join in their celebrations. Andrew, as usual, hovers at the edge of the throng, but he accepts the clack of Neil’s racquet against his. A light sheen of sweat dances across Andrew’s forehead and his lips are parted as he regains his breath after the exertion of locking the Terrapins out.
“Did Thirteen give you trouble?”
Andrew snorts derisively despite his breathlessness. “He tried.”
Neil gets to see Thirteen up close during the handshakes. He barely grazes the tips of each Foxes’ fingers as he passes one by one, but he stops when he gets to Neil. “I remember you. You were all over the news, weren’t you? The runaway Wesninski.” His expression speaks to his delight at the revelation. To no-one’s surprise, Thirteen is a sore loser.
Andrew barely moves, just a slight adjustment to his footing so that he presses a little closer into Neil’s shoulder.
Neil smiles. It is the kind of smile he has not had use for in some time. “Looking for an autograph?”
Thirteen snorts. “Bet you think you’re real bad. Bet you think those scars make you look tough. Too bad you’re still a puny little bitch.”
Neil flexes his hand before clenching it into a fist. “I do think I’m real bad, actually. Want to find out why?”
The striker waits for the hit to come. Neil doesn’t give him the satisfaction; the guy is a piece of shit, but he isn’t worth the trouble he’s clearly looking for. Neil drops his hands, meets his gaze, and waits for him to give up on getting his reaction and leave.
Most of the other players are moving off to their own respective sides, and their stand-off is beginning to attract attention. Kevin squints over at them, and at his side, Aaron pulls off his helmet.
“Oh shit. Twins.” Thirteen’s gaze swings from Aaron to Andrew, flashing with sudden recognition. “I remember you too.” His expression turns sharkish. “Now that was a story. So, which one is the murderer, and which is the brother-fucker?”
Andrew barely twitches. Neil’s reaction is less restrained.
It’s almost a play-by-play of decking Riko at the Winter Banquet.  The key difference between that punch and this one is hours of training with a borderline-professional boxer.
Neil squares his stance, draws back his fist, and puts his whole body behind the punch. He’s rewarded with the sickening crack of a nose breaking and a hot spurt of blood splattering his knuckles.
Thirteen staggers back, shock registering for a second before he spits blood at the floor. He’s swaying on his feet, but there’s still fight in his eyes.
Andrew’s hands go to his sheaths, but Neil waves him back. He wipes the hand bloodied by Thirteen’s face across his jaw unthinkingly, feels the wet, red heat clinging to his skin. “Hey. This one’s mine.” The smile he tacks onto the words is toothier than he means it to be. With blood still smeared across his chin, he can only imagine how he looks.
Andrew’s hand judders to a halt at the hems of his armbands. His jaw is clenched tight but roaring over the current of concern is something far darker. It creeps into his eyes, a weight to his gaze normally only visible in the privacy of their bedroom. Andrew’s gaze runs the length of Neil’s body before coming to rest on Neil’s mouth. His bottom lip catches momentarily in his teeth as he nods.
Thirteen’s first swing hits, and a burst of blood dances across Neil’s tongue as his lip is split open. Thirteen’s luck ends there; Neil blocks his second punch with a move Matt taught him the day before. He drives his free hand into Thirteen’s solar plexus, knocking the air from him.
Neil doesn’t get much time to appreciate how the striker falls on his ass as they’re rushed by teammates and officials who break them apart.
Neil stands placidly before Wymack and bears his row with the bare minimum of decorum. The lecture is undercut by Nicky, who’s expression alternates between elation, amusement and mock disapproval from moment to moment. Matt, at least, waits until Wymack is finished before applauding.
“I’ll give you some notes later, but all things considered it was a solid right hook.”
Neil brushes the team’s reactions off as best he can; he certainly didn’t do it for their recognition.
He takes his time showering, watching with a strange, sick pleasure as he rinses the striker’s blood away. It turns pink in the shower basin before swirling at last down the drain. Beneath the blood, Neil’s knuckles have begun to bruise, satisfaction burning them blue.
It’s at these times that Neil worries that he may have inherited too much from his father; the temper, the violence, the bloodlust. Then again, they all served as tools to his survival at one point or another. The key difference between Neil and his father is who they choose to turn their anger on. Neil’s father always set his sights on the underdog. Neil prefers to punch up.
No; if there’s one thing Nathan gave him, it was a distaste for bullies.
There’s a familiar tap at the door to Neil’s stall. The rest of the Foxes cleared out some time ago, still rowdy from the post-match high. Tonight was a home game; most of the team will be halfway back to Fox tower already, thinking only of booze and the weekend stretching ahead of them. There’s only one player who would have any reason to linger.
Andrew steps under the spray, his hair is plastered to his head by the steamy drizzle. He holds his hand out, and Neil offers his without question for Andrew’s inspection.
Andrew’s voice is dispassionate as he inspects the damage. “I don’t need a knight in shining armour. Nor for you to fight my battles for me.”
“The fight was for my own satisfaction. But I’ll stop if you want me to.”
Once again, Andrew presses his lips to Neil’s raw knuckles. The contact stings, sweet and savoury, pleasure and pain. “Would it kill you to make life easy for once?” The words tingle against the tender skin.
“I thought you liked to watch me fight.”
“Just because I find your stupidity entertaining doesn’t mean I encourage it.”
“It’s my stupidity you like, is it?”
“What else do you have?” Andrew’s eyes track the rivulets of water snaking down Neil’s neck.
“I’m sure I can think of a few things.” Neil says. Then, for clarity, “Yes or no?”
“Yes.” Andrew doesn’t let go of Neil’s hand, thumb running across the reddening knuckles once more before leading it to his chest. Neil leaves it resting there, marvelling at the colours bleeding between them under the shower’s onslaught, pink and brown and red and blue. Andrew soon tires of Neil’s staring, and is the first to bridge the gap between them.
Neil once compared Andrew’s kisses to a fight with their lives on the line. Countless kisses later, this fact has not changed in the slightest. Andrew leaves a bruising trail of kisses across Neil’s neck until he can’t remember which marks are from Exy and which are from Andrew. They all sting the same, sweet way.
Each kiss pressed to his mouth carries a metallic tang from Neil’s burst lip. He can tell from the fierce pressure of Andrew’s mouth against his that Andrew can taste it too, is feeding off the adrenaline rush just as Neil is. He catches Neil’s bottom lip between his teeth and with it sucks a groan from deep in Neil’s chest.
Andrew draws back to level him with an unimpressed look. “You’re far too into this.”
“You’re one to talk.” Neil raises his hand to Andrew’s eyeline, wiggling his fingers. Andrew’s eyes catch on the blooming violet patches. “You like this. Admit it.”
Andrew steps forward until his cheek brushes Neil’s fingers. Neil turns his hand automatically, cupping Andrew’s face.
“Yes,” says Andrew. His eyes stay on Neil’s, even as Neil’s hand drops lower.
It’s a small miracle, Neil thinks, that Andrew can trust Neil’s hands on him, after all he knows they are capable of. Maybe that’s part of the appeal, the evidence painted into Neil’s knuckles that Neil’s gentler touches are reserved for Andrew and Andrew alone. It’s strange that Andrew should love Neil’s fighting spirit as much as he does. After all, it was Andrew who taught Neil how to stand and fight in the first place.
It’s a fact that neither will ever let the other forget.
Neil leaves the shower sporting several more bruises than he entered with. Some are from Exy, some are from fighting, and some are from Andrew’s mouth.
He loves them all just the same.
 * Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Still open to prompts etc.
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midotakaism · 5 years ago
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I love ur hc! Can u do some on jealous he tian of people hitting on his mo? Either if it’s at his work or out in public at the store or something
im really glad you like my past headcanons, anon!! im always happy when someone enjoys them even if at this point they’re starting to get pretty old, so thank you!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).。o♡
i.. actually haven’t written any headcanon in more than two years by now, i’ve been keeping them in my mind for all this time and to tell you the truth i’ve started to feel a bit self conscious about them. back in the days i also ended up disappearing without fullfilling a lot of requests, which makes me feel pretty bad… that being said, though, i did have some time between yesterday and today and at this point you all know tianshan always makes me lose it, so i did try to write down something
im not sure if this is exactly what you wanted, or if this is how you pictured it go, but i hope you’re gonna enjoy it anyway!!
so the keyword here is CLINGY
when he tian gets jealous he also gets clingier than usual, if that’s even possible
it starts one day while he is waiting for guan shan to end his shift at the grocery store so they can walk home together
after that first time he tian helped him out, guan shan made it clear that he didn’t want he tian to disturb him while he was working anymore, so these days he tian just waits for him outside, or roams around the store checking out the pre-made meals as guan shan sends him warning looks and he tian smiles back at him like the picture of innocence
doesn’t matter where he is, though, girls from different schools always come flocking around him, some just staring and blushing and whispering to their friends, others - the bolder ones - even asking him for his name and number and if he is there alone
he tian smiles and answers them politely, but never particularly minds them, that is until one day he notices that the one some girls are whispering about and looking at is not him, but guan shan
at the moment, guan shan is lifting up a heavy case full of oranges, the color of them almost matching his hair, his white tanktop sticking to his chest for working up a sweat and the muscles in his arms bulging because of the effort, a serious look of concentration on his face
he tian almost forgets to excuse himself from all the adoring girls around him and before anyone can realize it he is already sliding an arm around guan shan’s shoulder and standing close to him with a ‘little mo, this case seems really heavy, let me help you with it’
guan shan of course tells him off and yells at him to take all his fan group away with him, and he tian quickly understands that guan shan is completely oblivious to the attention he is receiving
maybe because he had to grow used at people whispering behind his back since at a young age, what with all the situation with his dad, guan shan doesn’t seem to notice all the girls looking at him adoringly, and if he finds strange that suddenly so many girls are asking him to grab something from a top shelves for them, his shirt riding up to reveal a flash of his toned stomach, then he doesn’t really show it
he tian almost finds it amusing when he hears guan shan complaining about the amount of girls around the store making it hard for him to work, blaming he tian’s presence for it and not realizing at least half of them are there for guan shan himself, and sometimes he thinks about making guan shan aware of that even just to see his reaction, but thinking back on what he said about modeling, he tian is not sure guan shan would be comfortable with all the attention
he tian is also not particularly fond at how outright flirty some girls get when asking guan shan informations, twirling their hair around their finger and touching guan shan briefly on the arm to call for his attention or thank him, so he keeps the thing to himself, and when guan shan is done with his shift he tian makes sure to guide him outside with a hand resting on his lower back, leaning against him closer than necessary and talking directly into guan shan’s ear
then one day, at school, guan shan gets stopped in the school hallway by a girl from some class over stuttering a small ‘s-sorry’ at him
thinking that the girl is yet another one looking for he tian, guan shan tells her that he doesn’t know where he tian is, but the girl just pushes something at his chest before running away
guan shan realizes he now has a love letter in his hands, all cute and pink and with a small heart sticker closing it, and suddenly pissed off he marches to he tian and shoves the letter to his face, yelling at him to tell his girlfriends that he is not he tian’s personal mail man
he tian asks him if he is jealous and then adds that if guan shan really wants to get a love letter he tian can always write him one
guan shan flips him off, telling him to stop saying weird things before going back to his class, and he tian forgets about the letter until he gets home that evening
he tian is pretty used to receive this kind of letters, and he usually just skims over them quickly so he knows what to thank the girl for before rejecting her gently, but as soon as he reads the first line he tian realizes the letter is not for him, but for guan shan
so this is where maybe some people won’t agree with me, but in a case like this i actually do believe that in the end he tian would deliver the letter to guan shan, even if deep down he is afraid of what might happen, if only because he knows that even if he destroys the letter now, he can’t keep guan shan away from that girl forever, one day guan shan is gonna find out anyway
he tian stays up all night reading that letter over and over again, and at one point he even texts guan shan to wear the black studs he tian gave him the following day, but of course guan shan reply is ‘fuck off’
the next day at school, he tian’s eye bags are worse than usual when he goes to find guan shan during break and hands him the letter with a small ‘for you’
there’s a moment of silence, then guan shan blushes bright red and starts yelling and hitting he tian because he actually thought that he tian made good on what he said the previous day and actually wrote him a love letter
needless to say that’s the first thing to put a smile on he tian’s face in the entire day and he teases guan shan about it but sombers up quickly to tell him that the letter guan shan handed him over yesterday wasn’t for him
guan shan doesn’t really believe him at first, even after reading the letter himself he still looks doubtful, asking he tian if he put her up to it, but after a while he finally convinces himself that the letter is genuine and his cheeks get a rosy tint
he tian, because sometimes he goes as far as twisting the knife in his own wound, asks guan shan what he is gonna reply to her
‘how am i supposed to know, im not like you, this is the first time something like this happens to me, i don’t even know what she sees in me’ ‘you put yourself down too much, you’re a very handsome guy’ ‘it’s not like im gonna believe that just because you say it!’ ‘she seems to think so too. aren’t you gonna say yes to her?’ (please imagine he tian saying all this with his hair covering his eyes and the saddest smile on his face) ‘how should i put it… she is a very cute girl, and i think she is sincere, but these are all impressions she got of me. she doesn’t really know me.’ ‘so? that’s what dating is for, isn’t it? so that you can get to know each other. i think… if she’d get to see the real you, she’d just end up liking you more and more’ (shout out if you get the parallel)
guan shan yells at him once again to stop saying this kind of things, and then leaves saying he is gonna think about it
as you can imagine, he tian doesn’t have a good day: he spends the entire day silent and withdrawn, so much so that even the girls start to get worried about him, and once again he doesn’t sleep at all at night
the next day, while he is walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria with jian yi and zheng xi, he catches a glimpse of red out of the window and he freezes on the spot: guan shan is in the courtyard with a girl, both of them looking embarrassed and blushing slightly
jian yi and zheng xi notice that he tian stopped and follow his gaze to guan shan, and you can imagine jian yi’s reaction: he plasters himself against the window asking zheng xi if he is really seeing what he thinks he is seeing and then asking he tian if he knows who is the girl
he tian however doesn’t reply to him and after a moment he keeps walking without saying another word
later, jian yi and zheng xi catch guan shan alone, and jian yi asks him all the details since they saw him talking to a girl, to which guan shan blushes and tells him to mind his own business
‘he tian was with us’ zheng xi says to guan shan ‘he should be down to the basketball court’ ‘what should i care where he is…’ zheng xi smiles. ‘just saying’
despite what he said, guan shan does go look for he tian and sits down next to him on one of the banches
‘should i congratulate you?’ he tian asks after a while. ‘about what?’ ‘having a girlfriend. that’s a big achievement. don’t close mountain is all grown up now’ a beat, then ‘i turned her down’. he tian’s eyes go wide in surprise. ‘she is very pretty’ guan shan continues ‘but i don’t know if she’s exactly my type. plus, im working most of the time after school and in the weekends, i don’t really have the time to deal with a girlfriend now.’
he tian looks up at him for the first time and finally notices that guan shan is wearing the black studs he tian bought him
he tian smiles and leans on the side to rest his head on guan shan’s shoulders, to which guan shan asks him what the hell is he doing all of a sudden
‘little mo, let’s go somewhere together after school’ ‘why should i go with you, im busy with work anyway’ ‘then let’s have dinner together at my apartment after you’re done’ ‘don’t wanna’
even after getting together, i think this is how he tian will mostly show his jealousy to anyone hitting on guan shan: if he is there as well, he’ll mostly stick close to guan shan, putting an arm around his shoulders or his waist, smiling and answering politely at whoever guan shan is talking to but making perfectly clear using their body language that guan shan is very much already involved with someone
he trusts guan shan completely and would never limit him, even if sometimes he tian worries for guan shan’s safety since he still has a hard time realizing people are flirting with him
but most of the time he just turns this on his favor, using the excuse that someone was hitting on guan shan to hold his hand in public or ask him for a kiss when they get home because that really upsetted him
he tian also tends to be a biter in bed, so it’s not the first time he leaves evident bitemarks and hickeys on guan shan’s neck and shoulder and clavicles for everyone to see. guan shan is not too fond of it because he still doesn’t like the idea to be owned, but he tian is his just as much as he is he tian’s, so in the end, even if he still yells at he tian for leaving them, he doesn’t actually particularly mind them
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angelofdiamond · 5 years ago
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Togheter again for the eternity (DTMG story-fanfic)
https://uzuluna.tumblr.com/post/62408515996 . This is my story-fanfic about this post , all credits and rights going to @uzuluna (WARNING TAKE NAPKINS AND BUCKETS FOR TEARS AND HEARTS)
P.S. Soleana belong to me also the extra part , because do part of an my story , I have would added the extra for give more soft brother-relationship and a little spoiler..
Billy was so sad he has been disconsolate since his best friend... his brother Spencer at the age of 50 died of old age... so the media wanted to get through it but... BJC knew how things really went .Spencer had aged yes, but he kept fit, eating healthy, training body and mind and above all doing good works .. many times BJC has seen his brother go into hospitals to encourage children and others with his fame to not to give up their dreams, to share them, not to lose sight of the fact that there are more important things than the dreams themselves, he saw how he protected the kids from bullies..in short..he had become a wonderful adult..but now all this .. zero..*flashback *.
One day Billy, at Spencer's request, went over there to check if the technicians were doing a good job with lights and everything else. He suddenly noticed, however, two figures he had never seen come into one of the dressing rooms, he thought: "ok come on, they will be the usual interns who came late" but the curiosity was too much for him and he walked away following the two figures .. .the dressing room they entered was that of ... Spencer!
BJC: "ok ok calm Cobra, they will be two fan interns and they took the opportunity to see the inside of a dressing room of one of the most famous horror filmmakers that Hollywood has ever been able to see" Billy saw them stealthily escaping and saw only a blond tuft and another light brown color, he went in and saw everything as if no one had been there except ... for a strange glass next to Spencer's water bottle, Billy sniffed him but felt nothing strange but strangely had a bad impression, took the glass in fact, and threw it away.
SW: "Billy! What are you doing here !? Didn't I ask you to check if the technicians were doing a good job?" Spencer had returned from lunch with his mother, after all the fame on him, he could always find time for the others dear to him, including playing video games with Billy as he was when he was 14 and a half ..
BJC: "yes ... oh yes! Excuse me Bro-meo but suddenly I saw two people come in here and then I followed them, anyway it's quiet, the technicians are doing a good job"
SW: "Thank goodness, wait ... did you say two people? Who were they? Interns?"
BJC: "I don't know ... I thought about it but they left in a hurry and left a glass I had never seen before and then threw it, you'll thank me after * posing as a star *"
SW: * facepalm * "Billy tool-box I left that glass for medicine! Do you remember? medicine for the cold? But were you listening this morning? "
BJC: "probably ... I remember you mentioned something but I was too busy with the jar of PB"
SW: "as always ... uff ... feel today was a long and tiring day, could you please tell Shanila that after they finish closing everything? Let's continue tomorrow"
BJC: "Ok ... hey bro '... everything okay? You know I'm always there if you want to talk"
SW: "yes, I know ... it's just that ... I don't know, I have the clear feeling that not everyone appreciates what I do ... and today I had the confirmation ..."
BJC: "wait wait wait for what you mean !? Who doesn't appreciate what you do !? Make scary horror movies! Modestly thanks also to the man! To the legend! The Cobra!" Spencer could not laugh a bit at that exclamation. .ehh yes..your brother hadn't changed at all and that was fine with him he reassured, he was happy when his best friend in absolute was close to him to comfort him ... Spencer would not have gone by ANYWHERE without him ..
SW: "guess who I met at Wi-Fri?"
BJC: "Rajeev?"
SW: "maybe, but try again"
BJC: "Mallory?"
SW: "I doubt you leave your husband for me, try again"
BJC: "You won't tell me ... yet !? But he wasn't retired !?"
SW: "pension over bud', as far as I heard from Buch, Ponzi works there after his collapse at school and inside the boarding house..just saw me he told me about all the colors and hurt me sincerely .."
BJC: "that head of cheese expired! What did he tell you !?"
SW: "trust me and better ..."
BJC: "WHAT ?!"
SW: "that the world without me and mine movies , it would be a better place, which is my fault since I entered there in that school, that he is now like that, and that everything I do and what I will do will be useless and never remembered, that I will be alone forever ... "hearing those words Billy was shocked ... how could a person be so cruel, Billy is the first to keep the image of a "bad boy" he was a bit rude but never cruel, put him first, and he knew he was alone a cover, so much so that he apologized every time ... he knew that in the world most of the managers were slimy, cruel and profiteers, he had a couple of them close to his misfortune, but never so cruel, for what he remembers ..
BJC: "don't listen to it ... YOU UNDERSTAND IT !? DON'T LISTEN TO IT! FORGET WHAT IT SAID TO YOU! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON, MAKE GOOD TO ALL, IF YOU ARE FAMOUS DON'T LET YOU FAME THAT YOU CONSUME IT .. NOT LIKE ... MYSELF ARE YOU AN EXCEPTIONAL PERSON LIL 'BRO, AND DON'T ALLOW ANYONE SOMEONE TO TELL YOU THE OPPOSITE !? "
SW: "whoa! Calm friend! I understand but don't scream!"
BJC: "tell me you understand!"
SW: "I understand! I understand! Geez ... you're worse than my mother when she scolded us because the cookies were gone * laughs * remember?"
BJC: "* laughs in turn * pffft how could I not remember? That time in addition to the stomach ache we got a good scolding"
SW: "which theoretically I only caught it because you didn't see it" * they laugh together *
SW: "Billy..thank you..I appreciate it very much that you are close to me..I also really appreciate the fact that Shanila and Rajeev are with their work, thank you .. please go tell her?"
BJC: "ok!" Billy went to tell a Shanila from the change of plans, while Spencer, intrigued by the story of the two people, looked at the security cameras and noticed that the two figures looked a lot like .. Lolo and Ponzi! Spencer chilled but did he force himself and check if they had moved something, noticed that they had put something in the glass and in the bottle? The same glass that Billy threw away! Most likely they had put in some powerful laxative and Billy had saved him! Cabbage! Upon his return Spencer would surely have embraced him very much and thanked him over and over again. He took the bottle and checked it, he noticed nothing suspicious ... until ... he heard footsteps. I thought it was Shanila but it wasn't. Two people entered the cabin with force, blocking Spencer by the arms and holding him still. Fortunately, the training sessions with Jessica and Billy were useful because he immediately got free and threw a bottle over him.hitting the man, he grabbed his video camera and turned it on so he had some proof, fortunately it was well hidden.
SW: "why do you do this? Go away or call security!"
Both: "you have ruined the image since you came to that school! You a loser, become famous! You deserve to suffer!" Spencer tried to escape but the woman stopped the door, the man took it from behind and the woman took the bottle. Billy, who in the meantime had warned Shanila, felt that something was wrong and immediately flew to Spencer. He heard a loud noise and a strangled rattle .. it was Spencer! He was lying on the floor coughing, he was pale ..
BJC: "SPENCER! SPENCER! WHAT YOU HAVE FRIEND! REPLY! BROTHER REPLY FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC!"
SW: * coughs * bo..bo..bottle..inside there was some cyanide..the video camera..there are the tests..Billy..I have cold..so...stay with me .. * coughs * "
BJC: "cyanide ...? What is it? Hey buddy stay awake! I'm here with you! SPENCER! * Shakes him * Spencer was becoming paler ..
SW: "it is a poison * coughs * very deadly..is almost immediate effect .." Spencer started crying knowing that now there was nothing more to do..he was dying ..
SW: * crying * "hey .. friend .. apparently I won't be able to finish this movie this time eh?"
BJC * starts to cry * "don't ... don't even say it as a joke..you..you.you have to finish it you are the only one who can..hold on now take off to call for help and you will heal..start well"
SW: "against cyanide if you do not act immediately there is no way to save me .. * puts his hand on the transparent cheek of Billy * we had..we had planned to stay together until the end and beyond it? * Cries * you would have done by uncle to my children if I married.. real brother? "
BJC: "Uncle Billy ... does not sound bad" * he is not theremakes her not cry loudly * "please .. don't go .. stay with me..it's my fault. .I had to stay here..who I stuck not to go..and only my fault .."
SW: "hey .. hey..shh shh it's not your fault, if I hadn't thrown the glass I'd be so long and I wouldn't have had time to tell you things .."
BJC: "don't talk ... save your breath, surely Shanila will have seen that we are not back and now she is coming to us"
SW: "there is nothing to do .. but I want to tell you the same .. thanks .."
BJC: "for what?"
SW: "to be my brother..my best friend, to be our relative and to be back after what happened to you..thanks for having me * he cries * .. for giving me a wonderful life full of joy, fun and adventures .. please go ahead .. "
BJC: "how do you go on ... what does it mean? Spencer! Hold on!"
SW: "you .. * the voice starts to get lighter * you ..i love ya brother..i'll come to take..yo-- "Spencer could not finish the two sentences that his body went out under the eyes of Billy.. his little brother..his best friend in absolute... gone...turn off. Billy cried so loudly that he caught Shanila's attention, that when he saw Spencer's body he screamed, cried, and asked what had happened. Billy, in pain, picked up the video camera to give it to Shanila who would give it to the police..but what would it do? * fine flashback *
Billy woke up from that painful memory, remembering how at the funeral there were all the people that Spencer had done them good ... after his funeral Billy was crying for 9 months on his grave .. day and night, his mother (Billy's mother) approached him at the end of the last day of the ninth month and told him ...
Soleana: "my son ... stop just torture yourself like this you are not at fault ... be at peace, so you can be with him ... "
BJC: "I don't deserve it .."
SC: "?"
BJC: "I didn't deserve to have a brother like that! I don't deserve joy or eternal happiness! He...he has always taken care of me ... giving me a chance to have a "normal" life. To be my best friend and now ... now they took it away from me and I didn't do anything to stop it! I don't deserve anything! I deserve to suffer ... I ... I want him to come back! That we come back like we used to spend time together school to defend us from Ponzi! May he stay alive in prison! .. I ... may stay that way forever ... and only my fault ... "
SC: "it is not true! You do not deserve all this! My beloved son you have to let go of this pain ... it is not easy and I know it..but let it help you..It will be much easier for all of us"
BJC: "I ... I don't deserve to be your son ... to have a family like that ... I destroyed it ... I destroyed everything ... as always"
SC: "it's not true! I couldn't have asked for a better son than you * hugs hard *! You..you .. you have no fault..but if you want to stay a little alone I understand you, just .. please remember that you I will visit every 2 days ok? "Billy nodded, took the camera and the pendant and went home.
From that moment on, Billy spent all his time keeping the house tidy, at least trying to comfort, even as a ghost, Spencer's parents and then one day they decided to leave for some time ... the paper said 3 months on vacation ... who could blame them? Leaving him alone for 3 months. His mother often came to visit him, to compliment his work ... but nothing moved him ... it was destroyed. His mother noticed that he was holding Ponzi's spare wig, the one they had both taken for a little revenge, but they would have returned it if it wasn't already he had another, and a bright feather ..
SC: "is that it?"
BJC: "I found it next to me when I was well ... I think it's some pigeon ..."
SC: "she's so bright and light. I doubt she's from some pigeon ... can I see her?" Billy nodded. The mother took the feather and inspected it better ... there was no doubt it was an angel's feather. He picked up the feather and felt pervaded by a warm force, that strength allowed him to see ... Spencer! He was trying to get close to him but his pain was so strong that it formed a barrier. Seen this, he put down the feather and said aloud ..
SC: "you did a great job, I advise you to go to REST and to DREAM a few things, maybe you could do things you couldn't do before!"
BJC: * strums the wrong rope * "ouch mum! I understand there is no need to scream! I go! ... night .."
SC: "night my love..I hope that in your dreams you will find a bit of serenity and awareness .."
BJC: "?"
SC: "nothing my love .. now rests" Ghosts generally do not normally dream like before but "dream" their memories of when they were alive .. and for sure Billy did not dream of good things for a while or at least yes but...they all turned into nightmares because of the pain. Soleana went into the kitchen and heard a sweet voice that said "thank you". Billy closed his eyes, clutching the feather so soft and the wig ... he began to dream. He dreamed of the moments he spent with Spencer, when he was small and when he was a teenager .. but those dreams were distorted with a thousand voices around him that always repeated to him: "it's your fault! You left him alone! You don't deserve anything!You deserve to suffer forever like a ghost and not to be with him in the light! You don't deserve it! You won't stay with him ... NEVER! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED FOREVER ! "Billy moved frantically, suffering in his own memories, blaming himself for something he had no blame for ... blocking him there ... until the feather in his hands lit up, opening a gash in Billy's nightmares and bringing him with himself in a brighter spot. "Billy looked around and noticed that his" colors "came back to him when he was alive. He felt strangely good but still aching ... and then he saw a figure on the horizon. very familiar and could not believe it .. that figure noticed it very quickly, smiled at him, held out his arms forward to say "run to hug me tool-box!", and it was wrapped in that same light .. it was .. Spencer! His little brother ... his best friend returned to being 14 again, he was there with open arms just for him. Billy was about to take off from him ... but he remembered that he didn't deserve it, and everything started to do new darkness but this time, Spencer ran to him holding him close, and the shadows disappeared. Billy burst into a loud cry ...
BJC: "little brother .. are you ... really you? I'm not dreaming?"
SW: "shhh yes big brother I am, in your dreams but I am really I * hugs him more and more strongly *"
BJC: "leave me please! I don't deserve anything .. it's just my fault .. it's my fault!"
SW: "tool box is not your fault for anything ... don't you remember? I told you no?"
BJC: "It's not true! It's just my fault. I have to stay close to you! I deserve to suffer!" Spencer heard them saying, he squeezed Billy more and stroked his back and told him it wasn't like that. Billy calmed down a little but still wept bitterly until he asked him in tears ..
BJC: "Why are you here? Why aren't you in Heaven? What is this place?"
SW: "I'm here for you, to come I asked the angels if it was possible for me to come and get you, they said yes, it would have taken a while, and I had to pass the barrier you created, but I could ... if I could. This is a sort of room where the light of your dearest dreams is not reached by the shadows, so they explained it to me "
BJC: "What do you mean to me? Are you an angel now.. little brother?"
SW: * hugs him even more * I told you, or at least I tried, that I would come and pick you up and wait for you and say that I'm not yet "
BJC: "I ... I ... I don't deserve it! I'm a bad person! I've hurt everyone! I deserve to suffer not being with you and being happy forever!" Spencer denied all the statements he had said and he explained that up there they knew what Billy really was like, they had seen his pain, which is why they immediately allowed him to go and get him and explained to him also why he had become a ghost ... not for eternal punishment, no ghost, unless he wants it, he remains on earth forever, sooner or later when they have learned their lesson and carried out the mission, they go beyond ... Billy had learned the first two lessons: to say to love another person besides himself; being able to learn to live normally and recognize their mistakes by trying to remedy them; being close to the people you love and ... letting go of the pain inflicted not on his own account but on other people. Billy hadn't even learned this last thing until Spencer said ...
SW: "I would never have gone without you..from anywhere paradisiacal and beautiful it could be..I missed you more than my life big brother..I now take you with me..in Heaven .. you won't be alone anymore .. we'll always be together and .. "
BJC: "will we still play like we used to?"
SW: "yes"
BJC: "and will we be inseparable as it used to be?"
SW: * laughs * "yes silly *
BJC: "and...and .."
SW: "yes, you can hug me as many times as you want, as long as you don't hold me too tight, * laughs *"
BJC: "aside * laughs with tears in the eyes *, will I be able to play my music? Will we also play like when we were little? Will I really be with you * crying *?" This time Spencer was crying
SW: "yes ... yes ... one hundred times yes and we will wait up there for the other people dear to us"
Having said these words, Billy got up and all the pain he had ... let him go, aware that they were right ... it wasn't his fault. Waking up, Billy stared at his mother, who came up to greet him, stroked him and said to him ...
SC: "you're ready .. let's go ... we'll see again" she kissed him on the warm forehead because now Billy was ready to go beyond ... but not alone ... he would never have gone alone in both cases in reverse... but with his brother. Spencer could finally appear, in addition to going into dreams, ahead of Billy and they both ran to hug hard. Billy and Spencer hugged their aunt / mother hard with the oath to see each other again when the time comes ... Billy and Spencer were enveloped in a warm light and lifted slightly into the air, slowly disappearing ... the two remained embraced by that light, laughing softly ...
SW: "Hey Billy you put me down * laughs *"
BJC: "no you forget it! * Laughs *" Billy had taken it and thrown it slightly like when they were little and started tickling his tummy and Spencer laughed .. he laughed so heartily that Billy laughed too and had no intention to stop ... they were happy..finally after so much pain suffered by the bullies, by crazy fans, by slimy principals..now they were finally together for eternity. They had kept the oath of a long time ago ... stay together forever in life and beyond. Spencer asked him if he wanted to bring things and see the rest of his family and friends and say hello to them before he left, Billy nodded. They took seeds from the flowers of the garden of their aunt / mother that were the most beautiful to plant them in Heaven, Billy's guitar and pendant, Spencer's photo album and video camera. They all greeted each other hugging them gently.
BJC: "Do you have any regrets?"
SW: 'just not having finished the film "
BJC: * laughs *
SW: "hey why are you laughing friend * rubs his head *?"
BJC "because your BFFE has finished the film"
SW: "whaaaaat !? How?"
BJC: "I directed, with the help of Shanila, the rest and .. violá!"
SW: "Billy you are the best! * He jumps on him hugging him and giving him the punch *"
BJC: "I know! * Bulb in the head *"
SW: "because you have that look..oh no ...no..do not allow yourself "
BJC: * tickles his belly *
SW: "no..pfft..hahahaha stop * laughs * as they ascended to Heaven, Billy started playing with Spencer as when they were little, tickling each other and a sort of" war "started. Spencer broke free and he began to do it himself, only he didn't stop easily ...
BJC: "ppfft..hahahaha Spencer! Stop! I suffer it! * bent in two and began to laugh like when Spencer made him laugh with that application that simulated the mouth of the zombie * "their laughs were so pure and so full of joy that children of they heard and said ..
Children: "Mom! Mom! The sky laughs!"
MB: "you know, it is said that when the sky laughs, it is because two pure souls who want an infinity of good, have gone up to Heaven "
B: "so this means that two souls are in Heaven?"
MB: "yes, but I think that for how the sky shines, they are two souls who have suffered in life and are now finally together .."
SC: "together again for eternity..so how was it supposed to be..you, after all, you swore it when you were little.two brothers, best friends, that even if distant relatives..you wanted an infinity of good .. sharing that good with everyone ... now only an eternity of joy and happiness awaits you ... my angels ". In Heaven, Spencer and Billy played with all the joy they had inside ... not ceasing to laugh, hug and fly together with each other, and with all the other angels, in the clouds ... in a place where no one would ever do them of the hurt, wounded or other ... where they would have waited for their family ... the two brothers had finally gone to Heaven together, remaining together again for eternity ... from then on,every time they played laughing, the sky released a shining powder on their loved ones, making them feel the same happiness they had given them and continue to give.
End...?
Extra :
BJC :" hey Spence' how end the story? "
SW : " ? "
BJC : " the story about the little angel and of the his little child friend..how end? "
SW : " tecnically never end..has a first ending for the main story part one "
BJC : " ook I don't know what mean , but for the moment?how end? I'm curious *puppy eyes *
SW : " never change BJC eh ?*giggle *"
BJC : " nope never *leans on Spencer's right shoulder with half-closed eyes ready to listen to the story* "
SW : " do you remember where we can stop? "
BJC : " at the sad part "
SW : " well..the story end that..." under their cherry tree in Heaven, which shook the flowering branches in the wind, Spencer told the end of the story he was telling Billy when they were on Earth, but in reality that story really has no end .. because even though they are now up there, the adventures and stories with them will not cease to exist and be created, starting from there too with them there will still be many adventures, who knows ... maybe even back on Earth ... no? everything is possible with two brothers-best friends like them...
The stories never end...
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chimcharstar · 5 years ago
Note
Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!
LETS DO THIS
99 gay-ish asks
how tall are you?5 SOMETHING
what is your body type?SLENDERMAN
what is your favorite part about your body?THE T
is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES
are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY
are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH
are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE
wine mom or vodka aunt?NO
weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR
favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL
do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR
ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON
are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES
have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO
do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART
have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY
favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM
last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND
behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD
favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER
meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION
reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS
who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS
what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT
have you ever taken narcotics?NO
have you had sex?NO
have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES
worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS
describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME
describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT
give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD
how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH
what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK
what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE
what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF
have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL
something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM
last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD
what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT
do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY
who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU
the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO
are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.
are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES
i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING
describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH
do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO
first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS
how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.
been rejected by a crush?YES
have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES
would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO
is trust a big issue for you?YES
did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO
is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE
what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW
would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP
does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT
ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION
do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS
worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM
three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH
who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME
favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND
who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING
intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND
what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY
do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES
are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT
who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL
do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY
is your crush wlw?IDK
last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY
write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU
do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE
is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.
are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO
are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.
what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS
fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE
tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD
hugs or kisses?HUGS
twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE
tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH
hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK
play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR
making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT
hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST
how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT
when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL
have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES
how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE
most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER
do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM
what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY
when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE
what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE
ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY
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bubbleblower · 5 years ago
Text
Minor Details Ch 8/?
AN: Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I promise I haven't abandoned this. LIFE just happened too much for me to get much writing done.
Ao3 Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Next
Friday dawned bright and warm. Alya could feel it in the bags under her eyes, the fatigue in her limbs, and the frazzled certanity of her thoughts as she looked at the breadth of her notes on Ladybug and Chat Noir strewn across her desk.
Learning that Marinette was Ladybug changed everything. Statements she had taken as fact from Lila could no longer be used. Things she had witnessed with her own eyes couldn't be trusted. After all she had seen Marinette and Ladybug side by side when Alix had been Akumatized. Now she realized that was because Marinette had literally gone back in time thanks to the Akuma's powers. Theoretically meaning that she could have seen Chat in the same space as his civilian self too and not known it.
She had texted Marinette last night and been told for real that she didn't know who he was. But Alya? Oh she was gonna find out. She had put it together long ago that Chat Noir also went to their school, there were too many coincidences for that to not be true. Chat knew people's names without needing to be told, he showed up even during akumas that had walled off the school from the outside world, and he frequently showed up before it was possible for anyone to have gotten the word out that an akuma had appeared. She needed answers, and she had a pretty good idea of who to start asking questions. Centered on a page in her journal, in big black letters, circled and triple underlined: ADRIEN AGRESTE.
She grabbed a bagel, hugged her sisters, and ran out the door determined to get to school before a certain blonde haired green eyed model.
-
The boy in question, unaware that he had been found out, was checking the outfit his father had picked for him for what had to be the 20th time that morning.
"Kid. Stop pacing. You're putting me off my cheese." Plagg complained from his pocket.
"Sorry, Plagg." Adrien replied, shaking himself to a stop. "I'm just nervous."
"You'll be fine." Plagg said, unusually sincere. "You already know she likes you, all of you. So all you need to do is be yourself and everything will work out." Adrien smiled at him, scritching the top of his head.
"Thanks Plagg. I really needed to hear that." Plagg purred lightly, something he didn't do often. But he knew it made Adrien happy when he did, and after what he found, he was going to give this kid every moment of happiness he could.
"Alright." Adrien said, straightening his shoulders. "I can do this. Let's go." Plagg hunkered down in his pocket as Adrien headed out. He was not looking forward to the conversation he needed to have with Tikki today.
-
Across town Marinette wasn't handling things near as well.
"It's friday. Tikki it's FRIDAY." She sat bolt upright in bed, startling the little red bug, who rolled off her pillow barely catching herself before she hit the ground.
The whole morning was a roller coaster between excited daydreaming.
"And then he'll whisk me away and we'll get married have 3 kids and a hamster."
And panicked despair.
"BUT WHAT IF I TRIP AND KNOCK INTO A WAITED WHO SPILLS EVERYTHING ON ADRIEN AND THEN HE'LL HATE ME FOREVER BECAUSE IM SO CLUMSY AND I'LL DIE ALONE! TIKKI I CAN'T DO THIS!"
Tikki, for her part, watched the meltdown with her usual combination of polite exasperation and cheerful encouragement.
"Marinette, calm down. Adrien is your friend. You know he likes you just the way you are. Just take a deep breath and be yourself and you'll do just fine." Marinette took a deep breath letting out in a raspberry.
"I'm sorry Tikki, I'm just so nervous."
"It's okay. But remember, we also need to go talk to Master Fu before your date. What he has to say may make a huge difference on how it goes." Marinette's face fell.
"I know."
For the second time that week, Marinette left the house a huge mess of nerves.
-
Alya hid just out of sight of the front door of the school, watching for Adrien's arrival. Her journal clutched in her hands, videos pulled and waiting on her phone. As she waited, Lila walked past holding court with Max, Kim, Rose and Juleka.
"It was so funny. Ladybug and I were hanging out last night, and you'll never guess the story she told me about her and Chat Noir! I'll give you a hint, it involves their REAL first kiss, which WASN'T the one posted tot he Ladyblog during your akuma, Kim"
Alya gritted her teeth, crushing her notes in her hands a bit. Now that she knew the truth, she could see why Marinette hated Lila so much. Alya mentally added taking Lila down to her rapidly growing to-do list.
-
Adrien fiddled nervously with the strap of his bag, his leg bouncing in the back seat of the car. Traffic was moving slowly, and he could see the Gorilla tensing up with every honk and sudden stop. He was going to be late at this point.
"Hey, I can just walk from here, you should take the next left and get out of this traffic jam" He took the grunt he recieved in response as an agreement and jumped out of the car.
-
Marinette, running late again, sprinted across an intersection and knocked elbows with a blond boy she didn't know. She caught herself on a lamp post, just barely staying upright. But he was sent sprawling. A wave of dread swept her when he looked up at her with green eyes.
She had forgotten she was supposed to be watching out for civilian Chat Noir.
-
Gabriel Agreste wasted no time descending into Hawkmoth's lair once his son had left for school. He had much to prepare.
His son's first date would no doubt leave plenty of broken hearts in it's wake, and already he could feel it was the kind of day where tensions were running high. He briefly paused at his wife's casket, laying a hand reverently against the glass. Then he took his position in the center of the room, the windowshade parascoping outwards revealing the butterfly motifed window.
He grinned with malice as white butterflies rose in a cloud around him.
"Nooroo, dark wings rise!"
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essiefreds · 6 years ago
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… so… this may or may not be a thing? We’re gonna see how people respond to it, I guess, and then maybe it’ll continue as a series? 
I don’t expect it to go well, because uh, I don’t have any idea how to write Steve Rogers as a character, and I feel as though there are some topics that could arise in this series that I might not know how to handle, so… 
(It’s a thing): 
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18,  Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22
Word Count: 2147
Tagged (if you’d like to be added to this list, btw, just send me a message and let me know!): @hotemotionalmess
“We need you to talk to him.“ 
You blinked at Nick Fury. Not only had you never been addressed directly by the head of SHIELD, you had never been in the same room as him. Now, here he was, standing in front of you, his arms hanging by his side, and a sincere expression on his face. 
"Uh… wait,” you said, deciding that it made sense to clear up this request he was bestowing on you before simply agreeing. After all, just because he was Director Fury didn’t mean that you were going to do everything he said. 
Especially something like this. 
“So… you want me to… befriend the man who has been trapped in ice for seventy years, in the hopes that… what? He’ll… decide to join society?" 
Fury lifted his shoulders. "Basically.”
“And why me?” you queried, frowning. 
“You have a way,” Fury said, as though that answered your question in the slightest. “Anyway, the sooner you can figure it out, the better, because we need him to, uh, not consider anything other than rejoining society.”
You did not have to ask him to elaborate on what he meant by that. Your experience with war veterans gave you a pretty solid understanding on the euphemisms of suicide. 
“All right,” you said, carefully, “but… if I don’t manage to get him to like me, then what?" 
"Well, we’re not incredibly worried about him,” the Director of SHIELD responded, “but we know that he must feel very lonely, and rather helpless. We’re not positive that he’ll accept you as a friend, but we also don’t think he’ll flat-out deny someone wanting to help him integrate back into society.” He offered you an expression that might have been reassuring, had he been anyone other than Nick Fury. “You’ll do fine.”
Again, he hadn’t answered your question, but hey, what were you supposed to do about it? He was your boss, after all. 
You’d joined SHIELD after an invitation had reached you in your tiny apartment in New York, which you rented through the funding you received from your job at the hospital as a receptionist. Although no one had ever told you how they’d figured out who you were, and what you did, you thought that you’d adjusted well to your position in SHIELD. Handling panicking people was something you were good at, and, more often than not, there was a panicking person, or group of people, for you to deal with on a regular basis. 
Aside from that, however, you were also extremely good at helping people who’d been through hell and had somehow gotten out of it, only to continue to be faced with it in their daily lives through nightmares and panic attacks. It was a skill you’d developed through extreme sensitivity that your mother often called psychic, and through your work with war veterans that passed through the hospital. You’d also created a group for them, at the nearby retirement community, where many were spending the remainder of their lives. 
It was because of this, you supposed, that Nick Fury had approached you to help with Steve Rogers, who’d recently been unearthed like a fossil or something. Although you’d never been one to read comic books, you knew who he was, who he had been, at any rate. 
You did not ask, but you wondered if Director Fury hoped to bring back who Steve Rogers had been, although for what purpose, you did not know. A back-up plan, in case aliens tried to take over the Earth, or something. 
Even with your experience, however, you did not have any idea how to handle a ninety-year-old man who looked and had the physicality of a twenty-year-old, especially one who had at one moment been in the 1940’s, and in the next had been thrown into the 21st century. 
It was going to be something new. 
“He’s been living in a facility that we’ve created to model the 1940’s,” Fury told you as he led you down one of the many hallways of one of the buildings that SHIELD owned. “We meant for it to help him adjust to what’s happened, but I don’t know how well it’s worked." 
"Right,” you said. Your mind was reeling. You’d put yourself into the shoes of many victims of trauma, but never before had you had to help someone who had been asleep for seventy years adjust to the new life that they were suddenly faced with. So much had changed since the ‘40’s, so many things, in fact, that you doubted you’d be able to think of them all, in order to help him adjust. 
Again, you weren’t positive that this was going to go well. 
It was too late, however, to back out. Fury would not have come to you, specifically, if he did not think you had at least some chance of making this work.
You supposed that out of many of your coworkers, you did have the best chance. 
Still. 
Director Fury paused outside a door down a bland hallway, and nodded to it. “We’ve had people check on him every hour or so since he defrosted, but he hasn’t been the most responsive to them,” he said. “So, first thing’s first -”
“Get him to respond to me,” you concluded. Fury dipped his head. You exhaled, and faced the door. “Sure. I can do this.”
“Good attitude,” Fury praised, and then he patted you on the shoulder. “And good luck.”
You nodded, and listened as he walked away. He did not leave the hallway entirely, you noticed. 
After taking a moment to center yourself, to calm your thoughts, you lifted your fist, and knocked politely on the door. 
You were incredibly surprised when, after a minute, it opened from the other side. 
Holy shit this man’s arms are the size of tree trunks.
So, needless to say, your first impression of Captain Steve Rogers was probably not the most profound. 
Luckily, you were good at pulling yourself together, and you quickly held out your hand towards the gorgeous figure that had opened the door. 
“Hello, Captain Rogers,” you said, offering a smile. “My name is Y/N.”
The moment you knew that helping Steve Rogers would be a wonderful experience was when he shook your hand, and said, “Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.”
You were almost positive you stood there, holding his hand and blinking at him like an idiot for at least two minutes, but he did not seem bothered. In fact, if anything, he seemed amused, especially when you finally realized that it was time to let go of his hand, and quickly dropped your own to your side. 
“I just… I’d heard that you were… well, here, and I wanted to know how you’re doing,” you said, hoping that you didn’t sound too much like you were stammering. “I mean, I don’t have any clue what it must be like for you, obviously, but I’d like to understand, so that I can help you in anyway I can.”
Captain Rogers’s amused expression faded, and he tilted his head, moving slightly so that he blocked the entrance way to his living space. “You don’t need to lie to me, ma'am,” he said, and you furrowed your brows, slightly. “I know that I’ve been causing troubles for the nice people of SHIELD, and that they want me to get a move on with reentering the world. It doesn’t need to be sugar coated for me.”
Okay. So, he understands that he needs to reinsert himself. That’s a good start.
“That’s true,” you said, calmly smiling once more, “but, like I said, I’m here to help you with that. I’m not just another person who’s been sent to check on you, make sure you’re trying. I’m here to help you try.” You paused, and then tilted your head, mimicking him. “Could I come in?" 
When he did not reply, immediately, you gestured down the hall. "Or you could come out, instead. We could go get something to eat?" 
"No,” he said, almost immediately, and you lifted an eyebrow. “Here’s fine. Come in, please.” He stepped out of the way of the door, and you sidled past him into the living space on the other side, already knowing that you had plenty of work to do. 
The living space was the same size of a small apartment. In fact, it was bigger than the apartment that you’d been living in, actually. There was a bedroom, with a bathroom attached, and a small kitchen that was in the same space a a living room of sorts. Looking at the furniture, including the TV and kitchen appliances, you saw that SHIELD had done everything it could to give Captain Rogers a 1940’s feel. 
The TV was a boxy, clunky thing. Next to the ragged looking couch was a square side table, on which sat a boxy radio. The lamp in the corner of the room had a very ugly shade on it. The carpet was atrocious, as was the tile in the kitchen. The appliances themselves were green. 
“They wanted it to feel like I was at home,” Captain Rogers said from behind you, seeing that you’d paused to take everything in. “It was nice of them." 
"Yeah, definitely,” you agreed, turning to watch him as he entered the kitchen, and opened the outdated fridge. You were honestly surprised that these things worked. He looked at you. 
“Would you like some water? It’s all I have." 
"Sure,” you said. “Thank you.”
You moved to sit down on the couch, and winced as a stray spring immediately dug up into your ass cheek. They couldn’t have given him at least a slightly comfortable couch? The radio was on, although it was only buzzing, softly; no music came from its single speaker. 
When Captain Rogers joined you, holding a glass of water, you nodded towards the radio, taking the glass from him. “No music?" 
He managed a small smile, one that looked almost sheepish. "I don’t really like the music that you have here,” he explained. 
“Oh,” you said. Obviously. “But, you like background noise?" 
"Sorry.” He immediately moved to turn the radio off, with the same ease you’d use to turn off a cell phone. “I just - it’s something that’s at least sort of similar to how the radio was. Static.”
You took a sip of your water, wondering how hard it would be to find a record player and some vinyls with ‘40’s music on them. After a period of time, you realized that Captain Rogers had not joined you on the couch, and you looked up at him. 
“Are you… not sitting down for a reason?" 
He let out a chuckle that sounded a bit forced. "It’s a small sofa,” he said, gesturing to it. 
Confused, but deciding to let him do what was most comfortable, you set the glass of water down on the table that the radio sat on, and looked at him. “So,” you began, “talk to me, Captain." 
"About what, ma'am?" 
"About you,” you said, gesturing. You smiled. “And I don’t mean Captain America. I mean you. Who is Steven Rogers? What was his life like?" 
For a moment, he was silent, and you wondered, briefly, if he didn’t quite understand why you wanted to know about him. 
Before you could say anything else, however, he spoke: "Was." 
You frowned, a little. "Was?" 
"You said, "What was his life like?”,“ he explained, his eyes trained on the floor. "Everyone else always talks in the present tense." 
You forced your shoulders to relax. This wasn’t going the way you’d hoped it would, so far, but you decided to just… stick with it. "Well, there’s really no sense in living in the past, is there?” you asked him. “I mean, you’re here now, and although there’s plenty of things from your old life that you can keep with you, and you can even be the same Steve Rogers that you were… there’s also things that you’re going to have to accept, and the fact that you’re in the 21st century is one of them." 
His gaze lifted, and met yours. God, his eyes were blue. "Easier said than done, don’t you think?" 
"Most things are,” you replied, easily. “And besides, you don’t have to do it alone, now.” You grinned at him. “I’m here to help.”
A moment of silence passed. For a scarily long second, you thought that maybe he was going to tell you to leave. 
Instead, he smiled back. “It is always easier doing something with a little help,” he admitted. “That’s something I’ve come to learn, anyway.”
You relaxed for real, this time. “Good,” you said. “Glad we can agree on that, at least.” You crossed your legs at the knee. “So, Captain -” you started, again. “What was your life like?”
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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years ago
Note
HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS
hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D
im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!
evan: 
isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this
evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)
soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)
i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes
jared:
jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that
not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 
can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.
arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.
zoe:
not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor
a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.
very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!
very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.
thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too
alana:
smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.
probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.
dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?
very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.
connor:
we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 
artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)
very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)
to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.
honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)
OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask
jeremy:
anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.
jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).
which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 
im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him
extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 
that last part was just a PSA for ppl.
lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.
honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.
michael
not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.
a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-
okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 
imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.
just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.
sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 
like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3
christine
chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good
loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?
very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao
very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal
writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.
but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.
jake
god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character
he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.
sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.
a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing
he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge
i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.
rich
GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.
squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.
post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip
a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)
rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 
great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 
would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.
chloe
chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.
casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”
so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu
has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.
i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 
yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.
brooke
more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)
very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.
imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse
emotional, imo. fairly feminine.
its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry
jenna
not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot
probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere
bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.
thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...
very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.
probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.
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lxveille · 7 years ago
Text
as in ‘crush’
joshua x reader
word count: ~ 5900 a/n: american university!AU; ambiguously non-american/non-native english speaker!reader; probably too much actual talk about IPA; the tiniest dash of  nsfw at the end
If only the course listing had warned you that concentrating in your English phonetics course would be made ten times harder by developing a truly GPA-threatening crush on one Joshua Hong.
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“To facilitate pronunciation, the nasal consonant changes its place of articulation to match that of the consonant directly following…”
You are really trying to follow along with your professor’s eloquent example of an assimilation rule in the phonetics of standard English. Thus far all you have written down in your notebook, however, is just “ASSIMILATION RULES”, underlined twice with ‘homorganic nasal rule’ jotted underneath it. Since then, all you’d managed to do was rewrite over the word homorganic several times over. A part of you was trying to remember whether the professor had pronounced homorganic with five syllables or four. So at least you were still a little bit studious.
Most of you, however, is having to focus way too much on not letting your gaze flicker over to your left to where you know Joshua is sitting. He’s probably having no trouble at all following the lecture. His calm yet intensely focused gaze had been one of the first things that you’d been taken by. Other than just his overall appearance, which has been a distraction since day one of class.
“I think I’ve been mispronouncing im-polite  for years,” Seungkwan whispers to you from the desk next to you, emphasizing the nasal enough for you to clue in that he must be referencing the phenomenon your professor is going on about.
Most of those in Phonetics of the English Language are international students. Without anyone suggesting it be done, you tend to arrange yourselves in the classroom so that you’re arranged by homeland, or at least by mother tongue. You happened to be one of two in this class from your country; the other girl always sits on your right.
As it happens, the small group of students from South Korea sit to your left. Seungkwan was the one who sat on the rightmost end of that group, and so it was purely by this coincidence of this self-selected, entirely unofficial seating chart that the two of you struck up a friendship which seemed to exist exclusively within this one classroom.
You’re doing your best not to make your horrible infatuation with his friend too obvious.
“What does homo-organic mean?” you half-mouth at him, gesturing with your pen to your sorry looking notes. Seungkwan holds back a snort of laughter and shrugs at you. You give him a panicked look and then turn to your right, whispering desperately in your first language.
When you glance back over to Seungkwan, he raises his eyebrows to wordlessly ask if you got an answer.
“Can we compare notes after class?” you ask quietly. While you're posing the question, you gaze flickers beyond him and two more desks down to where Joshua is still. He has one elbow propped up on the fold-down desktop, chin resting in his palm and fingers curled in towards his lips.
“If you take notes!” he nearly threatens to go above the volume any student would dare use during side conversation.
“Shht, okay, okay,” you wave your hand at him to urge him not to risk making any kind of scene and turn your attention towards the front of the room.
Fifty-three minutes later, when the professor has struck her signature end-of-class pose of shutting her folder of notes and settling both hands on the table in the front of the room, the room erupts into a symphony of languages. Yours included, as you bid your compatriot goodbye. You about close up your notebook when Seungkwan pauses his conversation to remind you that you’d asked to revise together.
“I’ll meet you at the chairs in the hall?” The word lounge occurs to you to use, but you aren’t certain if it counts if the comfy furniture and low-set tables aren’t technically in a separate room of themselves. He nods and then slips back into Korean with his friends. You take it as your cue to finish gathering your things.
It’s cooler in the hallway. You’ll never understand why the university seems to think the classrooms can only either be uncomfortably warm or overly air-conditioned. You arrange yourself with your notebook and the course’s main textbook, already searching for extra answers in the chapter you’d only half-read the night before.
You hear Seungkwan and his friends leaving the classroom before you look up to see them. They’re laughing and (you assume) saying their goodbyes as he breaks off from the group to join you.
The two of you spend about twenty minutes going over notes and textbook chapters and doing google searches in your respective languages just to double check. At the tail end of this, Seungkwan is making notes in Hangul in the margins of his notebook while you’re busy flipping through the syllabus.
“Oh, I’m so glad the homework is just some IPA transcription,” you think out loud.
“Ah -- is it really?” Seungkwan doesn’t sound as relieved as you as he glances over at the paper in your lap. “I hate those assignments.”
“Why? It’s much easier than having to read all that theory and research.” Sure, the international phonetic alphabet had taken some getting used to, and one of the front pages of your notebook was covered in your handwritten practicing at writing the symbols out along with your notes on model words you were confident of in English for each consonant and vowel.
“I worry I don’t know how to say things correctly. Then get it wrong because of that.” He frowns only for a moment before his phone buzzes and distracts him from the conversation at hand.
“I’m happy to help if you ever want to check transcriptions together.” You doubt he’ll ever take you up on the offer. That’s been your experience with most other classroom friendships since you started school here. Friendships had mostly been found in your dorm’s common room and in extracurriculars.
“Thank you,” Seungkwan gives the standard response to such an idea, looking up from his phone with a sincere smile.
When you arrive to the next class session approximately ten minutes early, Seungkwan comes in shortly after and promptly starts asking to compare your homework. You blink with surprise for a moment before you click into action, pulling out your notebook and flipping the page where you’d completed the required transcriptions. In his evident rush to verify his work, you decide it’ll be easiest just to hand over your notes. With other students streaming you, you watch as Seungkwan glances back and forth between your work and his own.
“Ah, wait, why did you write this one with epsilon, but not schwa?” he asks, nearly slamming your notebook back onto your desk and pointing at the neatly-numbered seventh one down on your paper.
“Well… it’d be, like… wunt if you wrote it with a schwa. And it’s went,” you explain simply.
He glances over his shoulder, checking which of his friends have already arrived. “Thanks,” he says, and then he rounds on Joshua, nearly yelling something emphatically to him in Korean that has you feeling guilty even if you can’t understand a single word. An apologetic smile twitches at your lips when Joshua glances in your direction while Seungkwan is pointing at the transcriptions on his paper dramatically. As far as your aware, this is the first time Joshua has ever looked at you intentionally; the first time he’s looked at you for longer than a millisecond and it’s absolutely overwhelming to think that it’s happening because of homework corrections of all things. You divert your gaze before you get the chance to see the smile Joshua sends your way even as he’s being reprimanded.
Two weeks later, midterms are officially right around the corner. You have a study session scheduled in the library exactly fifteen minutes after your phonetics class finishes with a group of students in your semantics course. You spend probably a good part of the second-half of the lecture worrying about whether or not your classmates will able to help you with the questions you still have on the midterm material.
The moment your phonetics professor finishes going over the format of the midterm exam and announces she’s done for the day, you’re hurriedly putting your belongs back in your bag. The moment you’re about to stand up, however, a figure suddenly appears in the space you were about to step into, bocking your quick departure. You look up and find yourself at a total loss for words when Joshua is smiling down at you.
The hand holding the strap of your backpack lowers meekly as you give him a curious look. You close your mouth as soon as you realize you’re practically gaping at him.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
You nod, feeling as though the gesture must look dumb.
“Seungkwan says you’re really good at IPA and I think I’ll legitimately fail if I just using a schwa every time I can’t figure out a vowel. So, do you think you could help me study up on that?”
This is a joke. You think as much because the universe would never be so kind as to dump a beautiful boy in need right at your feet with a smile as sweet as Joshua’s. “Okay,” you answer despite the paranoid voice chiming in at the back of your mind trying to convince you that this will be a horrible mistake.
“Cool. Would the student lounge on this floor work?”
“I have to go to the library,” you snap back to your reality. “Um, now,” you add as you take a glance at your phone’s screen. Another international student has frantically texted you that he’s gotten to the library early and is already freaking out at the prospect of sustaining small talk with the quick-talking native speakers in your study group.
“Oh,” he sounds disappointed and your wistful heart is devastated at the notion. “Do you have enough time to take my number? We can text to figure out what’ll work.”
You’re in a daze through the whole exchange. Mostly because Joshua’s fingers brushed against your own as took your phone to type in his contact information. It wasn’t what you’d call sparks. More of a numbing sort of static that washed over you in a wave that left your fingers itching to be wound up with his.
“If you don’t text him I will grab your phone and message him on your behalf asking when he’s next available to spend a couple hours making out,” your closest friend scolds you in your shared mother tongue in the dining hall during lunch the next day.
You blush, and find yourself grateful - and not for the first time - that there’s no guarantee those around you can understand what you’re saying.
“I don’t think I can be alone with him. I’ll go out of my mind. My soul will escape out my stupid, open-hanging mouth and he won’t even get the help he wants.”
“There’s no way this guy is that attractive. You need some perspective, I swear.” She stabs a fork into one of the fries on her plate and then points it in your direction as another idea occurs to her. “Getting the chance to help him might help you realize he’s not some flawless being dropped down from the heavens. Nothing messes up my infatuations like hearing a guy say something  completely wrong on a basic facts level.”
“IPA is hard,” you defend, saying only the acronym alone in English.
“And you are really smart for mastering it. Be confident!” she urges. “We’ve also yet to consider that he might be asking for help from you not just for the sake of passing your phonetics midterm.”
Before you can reply you hear your name from over your shoulder. When you turn to look, you nearly drop your fork when you’re greeted with the sight of Joshua.
“Hi,” you switch into English and worry instantly that you might have food in your teeth or unflattering crumbs fallen in your lap.
“Everything go alright with your library thing?”  
“Is that him?” your friend asks, utterly shameless with the confidence that he wouldn’t be able to understand.
“It was alright,” you answer Joshua without acknowledging her.
“Oh, good.” He smiles and you’re certain your mirrored expression will give away the answer to your friend’s ignored question. “Any time to help a guy out with phonetics today?”
“Sure.” The word slips out before you think it through.
“Awesome.” His smile only flourishes. “I’m just grabbing lunch now but I’ll text you when I’m done?”
“Okay. That sounds good.” Truly, you’re astonished that you don’t stammer over your agreement.
Does my dorm work?
It had taken you a good fifteen minutes to answer that text after it first arrived from Joshua. You’d been managing a cohesive, casual conversation about when and where would work best to study up until that.  Once you’d brought yourself back to rational thought, you’d message back that it would be fine.
Which is how you’ve ended up standing outside a dormitory other than your own with a bag full of your phonetics materials and your phone in one hand as you wait nervously for Joshua to come let you into the building. He appears with a bright, appreciative smile and holds the door open for you as you come inside.
“Sorry if my room’s kinda a mess. My roommate and I keep putting off our big clean-it-all day,” he apologizes in advance as he leads you up the stairs to his floor.
His room doesn’t look that bad at all, save a few stray wrappers from snacks and bit of strewn laundry on the side of the room you quickly discover is not Joshua’s. When it’s decided that the most convenient place for you both to sit and work through the phonetic alphabet together is side-by-side on his bed, you’re grateful that the only thing that crosses your mind is how soft his duvet is.
“So… the IPA vowels?” you recall him mentioning being his point of weakness. He chuckles, and you spot a slightly embarrassed tinge to his smile. “Do you want to show me your transcriptions from class?”
Joshua hops up from the bed and brings back his notepad from class. “You’re playing teacher here, so no laughing,” he requests as he hands it over, opened up to a page full of messy IPA with corrections written in anywhere he could find space.
“You’re… obsessed with the schwa,” you conclude after about forty-five seconds of scanning the page.
“Hey! Obsessed is the wrong word,” he suggests, propping one socked foot up on the bed as he leans back on his hands, “I just default to it.”
“It’s usually not a stressed vowel,” you begin with, as you lean down to grab a pen out of your bag. With one hand holding his notebook, you resort to uncapping your pen with your teeth, holding the cap between your lips as you twirl the Bic around in your fingers to slip it onto the backend. Your preoccupation with the task means you miss the way Joshua’s gaze zeros in on your lips at the action; his own press into a thin line as he reminds himself you’re just doing something practical.
“This is an IPA chart for vowels, okay?” you speak idly as you start drawing out the arrangement of front-central-back and closed to open sounds. “And your favorite is right in the middle, mid-central. It seems like you mostly confuse it with other mid-placed vowels. But… um, both front and back placed ones.”
“You’re losing me already,” Joshua confesses with another short laugh at his own expense.
You hum lightly, drawing over a few of the phonetic symbols a second time as you try to think of how to explain it. “I usually think of an example word. One syllable. That way I know what sound for sure goes with each vowel.”
“Like, epsilon is more front than schwa,” you tap lightly at where the symbol is positioned on the chart you’d written out in his notebook. “And it sounds like in ‘bet’.” Joshua’s spine straightens up some as you beginning this explanation. You jot down your example underneath the symbol and underline the e in bet. “Then, more closed and more front is the /e/, which makes the, um… ‘ay’ sound, you know, like…”
“Bait?” he suggests. You nod, smiling encouragingly as you copy the word down, once more underlining the vowel. “Your handwriting’s nice,” he compliments as he leans in slightly to get a better look at everything you’re putting down.
“Nearby,” you carry own without expressing any kind of gratitude. His closer positioning has you feeling a bit more self-conscious. “Is the small capital i. It’s easy, like what’s in the word ‘it’, or ‘miss’, or... ‘kiss’.” He hums in understanding beside you.
“The back ones you mix up with schwa are maybe a little harder.” You tap the back of the pen against the paper; you hope Joshua won’t know it’s a sign of your nerves at his proximity. You’ve been smitten enough so far with just the look of him. You hadn’t anticipated that the smell of him would endear you all the more to him. A stay glance over towards his dresser doesn’t tell you what cologne he wears, but you’re certain he must be wearing something. No one smells this nice all on their own.
“Open-o isn’t too bad. Just, if anything makes the sound like in ‘thought’, it’s this one.” You circle the vowels in the word lightly, the ink barely leaving a mark on the page. “And then there’s the caret, which is sort of… right in the middle of schwa and open-o?” You trace the flipped v shape of the symbol. “It’s the ‘uh’ sound, as in ‘crush’.”
“I think I say it was a schwa,” he muses, watching as you write the word out.
“Crush?” you repeat, finally lifting your head to look at him.
“Crush,” he echoes more firmly. You have to admit his vowel is a bit more relaxed than when you pronounce it, making it sound closer to the schwa sound.
“I don’t know,” you surrender, fearing yourself unable to sustain eye contact without starting to blush. “You’re probably right.” You can practically hear the scolding your friend will give you for not sticking with confidence already. “You’re probably the best at English of the international kids in our class, I mean,” you reason.
“I’m from California,” he corrects you after a beat of awkward silence. You look up at him for a moment just to confirm his sincerity and proceed to shut your eyes with a grimace of embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize because it feels like the only thing you can do. “I assumed because…”
“It’s okay,” Joshua cuts in gently, like he wishes this whole thing had not come up in the first place. Another aspect of the situation for you to feel guilty for. “It happens.” You are filled with dread. Just because he’s dealt with this sort of mix up before doesn’t make you feel any better for having added another tally to the instances of it.
Your mind is searching for some kind of segue into leaving, or any kind of excuse to get out of the room.
“They’re pretty close in pronunciation,” Joshua points out instead, pointing to the caret and the schwa on your vowel chart. Guilt still leaves you wordless, so you nod in agreement. “Maybe I should try a couple transcriptions with the tips you’ve given so far?” he changes the subject officially. It’s obvious he wants to move along. At this point abiding that desire seems like the only polite thing to do.
You only spend fifteen minutes more in his room, helping him through a few transcriptions with the vowels he struggles over the most. When you gather your things to leave, he offers to walk you back down to the front door of the building. You accept only because insisting he does otherwise seems like it will make things more awkward.
When your phonetics class rolls around again, you stop in your tracks at the doorway when you see the Seungkwan and Joshua have traded spots. Trying not to make your missed beat too obvious, you push yourself back into motion and slip into your usual seat.
“Hey, how’re you?” asks Joshua, eyes following you as you settle in.
“I’m okay,” you answer as you flip through to a clean page of your notepad. “Tired,” you add for a touch more honesty as you turn your head to look at him. “How are you?”
“Same, pretty much.” He shrugs. “I think I did alright on the transcriptions for today. Thanks again for helping me out with that.” You feel forgiven, or even as though he was never mad.
Throughout the entire lecture, your gaze plays a furtive version of tag with Joshua’s. Every so often you’d let your glances meet for more than a second. And these instances are accompanied with an upwards tick in Joshua’s lips every time, however fleeting the expression was before one of you would redirect your sight to the front of the room or to your notes. It feels as though each flickering glimpse at one another is tugging away at whatever chance at subtlety you ever had.
Next class, when it’s time to take the midterm exam, you sit one sit further over than usual. Putting space between you and Joshua is the only chance you’ll have at passing.
Come Thursday, when all your midterms have been completed, it’s easy to convince you to attend some party being thrown by some friend-of-a-friend in one of the suites in the more modern dormitory. You and your friends made the trek across campus with plastic water bottles filled with cheap whiskey and lemonade.
It isn’t difficult getting into the building. It takes a few moments of pounding on the front door before one of the residents passes by and is kind enough to open it for you. From there, finding the suite hosting the party is as easy as following the sound of heavy bass and loud chatter.
The suites may be bigger than a standard room, but it’s absolutely packed with students eager to let out pent-up stress from midterms. You take a large gulp from your bottle as your friends make their way further into the festivities.
Loud music keeps you from hearing Seungkwan calling your name the first time. He’s impossible to miss once he taps you on the shoulder. “I’ve never seen you out before!” he exclaims the obvious.
“Me neither.” You have to shout from the volume around. “How did your exams go?”
“Ahh,” he throws his head back dramatically before putting it in clear terms, “I’m so glad they are over!” You nod an eager seconding of the sentiment. Unsure what else you can say to him, you take another drink from your bottle instead. “That doesn’t look like water,” Seungkwan comments with a grin.
“Do you want some?” you offer, “It’s lemonade and, ah… Jack Daniel’s?” You only half remember the brand name of the bottle your friend had passed you.
“Sure,” he accepts quickly; it’s likely the answer he would have given regardless of what you told him was inside the clear plastic. You hand it over and watch him grimace as he swallows a sip. “That’s strong,” he tells you as he passes it back.
“Sorry,” you laugh as you bring it back up to your own lips. “Sidenote -- is English easier to speak drunk?”
“Yes!” Seungkwan concurs, smiling so brightly that you can’t help grinning back at him. “Should we be drinking before class?” he asks facetiously.
“Probably not,” you advise through giggles you might not have had if it weren’t for the buzz of alcohol in your system.
You watch with widened eyes as another boy comes all but crashing into Seungkwan, arm looping around his shoulder and saying something energetically in Korean. You’re about to turn to go find your friends again when Seungkwan calls out for you to wait. He says something more to the newcomer which you can’t understand, though you swear you hear the name ‘Joshua’ somewhere in the middle of it. The stranger’s lips quirk into a smirk as he glances over to you.
“My name’s Jeonghan,” he introduces himself at Seungkwan’s behest. You give him your own and find that the handshake the two of you exchange feels oddly formal in this setting. “Let’s go find Shua!” he proposes immediately after, handshake turning into him leading you through the crowd unexpectedly. Seungkwan yells something at him in his first language as he tails after the two of you.
Joshua, as it turns out, is sitting playing some card game you don’t recognize in one of the bedrooms with a handful of others. He looks up from his hand with evident surprise as you three of you burst in. You find yourself caught in the middle of a conversation you have no chance to following as the three boys carry on in Korean. Jeonghan releases your hand around the same time that Seungkwan leans into your shoulder in a gesture that seems like it’s solely so he can keep his tipsy self upright.
“Sorry,” Joshua tells you just as you’re beginning to feel truly lost and a little bit paranoid about what they’re discussing. He stands up from the game in order to speak to you directly. “Jeonghan is ---”
“I’m what?” Jeonghan doesn’t let him finish, slinging an arm around Joshua much as he’d done to Seungkwan not long ago.
“It’s okay,” you intervene, utterly uncertain what’s going on but hoping nevertheless that you can take this chance to switch the conversation into English. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You too.” Joshua smiles softly, and the expression shifts as soon as he glances to Seungkwan. It makes you feel like that fleeting look had been exclusively for you; that is was something quiet and meant to be kept between the two of you.
“How do you think the phonetics midterm went?” you ask, twisting the cap of your bottle back and forth idly.
“I have no idea! But could you believe one of the transcription exercises on it actually had the word ‘crush’ in it? I nearly gave up then and there,” he remarks. Up until that moment, you had forgotten about that particular part of the test. Though you had shared a similar feeling in the moment.
“How did you end up transcribing it?”
“With a caret, like you said.”
You burst with laughter and cover your eyes for a moment your free hand. “I used a schwa because of you!” you admit, shaking your head in disbelief.
“I guess we’ll find out which one’s right in the next week or so,” he laughs along with you.
You turn when you hear your name being called and send a quick wave in the boys’ direction before heading back out into the suite’s common room, where two of your friends are waiting with curious looks on their faces.
You don’t see Joshua for the rest of the night. Or rather, you don’t see Joshua again until hours later, when the bottle has long been emptied and you’ve started sobering up. You’ve switched your heels for the cloth flats you’d smartly thrown into your purse before leaving for the night and failed in convincing your friends who haven’t already left with somebody that it’s time to go.
You send a brief text that you’re leaving to the group chat to prevent any confusion before you begin your way down the staircase. It’s in the landing between floors three and four that you see Joshua again. He’s chatting with other students you don’t know, and you plan on slipping by without saying anything to him. In part because you know your hair and makeup must both be mussed up from the dancing you’d spent most the party doing.
You’re two steps down the next set of steps after passing by the group when his voice calls your name and draws you to a halt. With one hand holding the straps of your heels and the other one the handrail, you turn to face him. “Are you heading home alone?” he asks; there’s a different kind of concern in his tone than the one you’d heard from your friends.
“Yeah, it’s… less fun in there without being drunk.” The thought sounds worse out loud than it did in your head. But it makes Joshua laugh and sends you another one of those small smiles that you’ve officially decided are not good for your health with the way they make your heart flutter.
“Do you want someone to walk you?”
You don’t feel compelled to have someone go with you. You feel confident enough in the way home and lack fear in crossing campus alone at this hour from the number of times you’ve done it before. So, do you want someone to walk you? No. But do you want Joshua to go with you?
“That would be nice,” you say, smile growing in spite of yourself.
“Give me one minute to grab my stuff?” he requests. You nod. The moment he disappears, you lean back against the wall of the stairs as it dawns on you that you’ll be spending a good ten-minute walk alone with Joshua. The two of you hadn’t spent time alone since the study-session-turned-disaster.
True to his word, Joshua is coming back down the stairs before too much time passes. If he’d taken any longer, you think to yourself, you might have fled.
The awkwardness you fear will come never does. He asks you about where you’re from, about what made you want to study in the States. He’s patient when you struggle to find the exact words or syntax that you want. So much so that you’d say it doesn’t even require any patience on his part to sustain a conversation with you. You rally questions back at him and hang off every syllable of his answers.
It’s good that you both know the campus well enough that you can get away with spending most of the walk looking at one another rather than where you’re going.
He doesn’t work up the nerve to take your hand until the two of you are already at your building’s front door. The gesture keeps you from reaching into your purse for your keys. His hand sways back and forth with yours as you turn to face him with directly. “I’m sorry again, about Seungkwan and Jeonghan. They should know how frustrating it is to have people saying things you can’t understand right in front of you.”
“I’m not worried,” you try to prompt a smile back onto his features. “It would be self-centered to assume they were talking about me. I just… happened to be there.”
His head falls forward for a moment, blocking you from seeing most of the repentant look that crosses his face as he thinks of how wrong you are there. But he can’t bring himself to tell you that they were speaking almost exclusively about you.
“It’s a bit rude either way,” he tells you in place of any admissions.
You shrug and fail to find any words as Joshua lifts his eyes yours once again. There’s a shift in the atmosphere. A thin wire has been drawn between the two of you and is waiting simply for the right tug that will make the whole thing snap. You move a centimeter closer, testing just what will break the tension. The fingers laced with yours press a fraction firmer into your skin.
And then the moment is shattered by the door of your dorm digging into your back as it’s opened from the other side.  You’re jostled forward, nearly into Joshua’s chest before you catch your balance. He releases your hand in the same instant.
“Sorry,” the girl leaving the building says casually as she passes the two of you by.
Deciding it’s a sign, you take hold of the door before it can close all the way. When you turn to bid him goodnight, you find he’s taken a step closer to come inside as well. You tell yourself he’s just taking the way home all the way to your own door. It would parallel the way he’d insisted upon walking you to the front door of his dorm before.
You pull your keys out of your purse while the two of you are still going up the stairs to your floor. When you reach your door, Joshua catches you off guard as he brushes a hand against one of the cut-outs of motivational words you and your roommate had put up in honor of midterm season. “This is cute,” he remarks, scanning over the rest of the decorations on your door. You fiddle with the key in your hand and tell him it was your roommate’s idea.
“Is she in?” he asks, turning at the shoulder to face you while his hand still rests against the glossy wood of your door.
“I don’t know,” is the only honest answer you can give. “I know she went out tonight but I’m not sure where.”
“Can I come in if she’s not?” is his next question, and this one you have no idea how to decipher. So you answer nonverbally, with the ambiguous combination of a shrug and a nod at the same time.
At least, you have no clue until Joshua provides a touch of clarification in the form of a soft kiss. Your heels and keys all clatter against the hallway floor as the affection makes you drop everything. He pulls away from you with a chuckle that’s warm against your still-parted lips.
He crouches down and picks the shoes and keys up for you. “Only if it’s okay with you,” he reassures as he hands your keys back out to you.
“It’s okay,” you say quickly, and avert your gaze to unlock your door.
When you flick on the lights, you’re embarrassed by how relieved you are that your roommate isn’t yet home. You give him an okay sign with your fingers and wave him inside.
Joshua closes the door behind him and sets the heels he’d picked up for you down beside the door, careful that they remain upright even once he’s released his hold. You toe off your flats and set your keys down on your desk.
He catches your stare while he’s shrugging off his jacket and sends you a new smile. It isn’t soft and secret like the ones you’d been melting over before. But it sends a spark down your spine all the same. As he comes close, you find yourself immersed once more in the that unnamed, pleasant cologne of his.  
“Still okay?” he checks as his hands find their way to your hips.
“Definitely,” you respond, though your racing heart protests that it might not be okay if you end up bursting from the strange fortune midterm week has brought you this semester.
You only get a momentary glance at the smile your consent brings to his face before his kisses have you closing your eyes and surrendering to feeling.
But the chances for soaking in Joshua’s different smiles are far from over.
For instance, in about twenty minutes he’ll be smirking up at you from between your thighs and asking which IPA symbols you’d use to transcribe the first of moans he draws from your well-kissed lips.
356 notes · View notes
clove-teasdale · 7 years ago
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holmes & watson at the ball
*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧
A/N: challenge #4! I asked for two more days cause I had a lot of things this week (IM OFFICIALLY 18 YALL. FIRST FIC FINISHED AS A TECHNICAL ADULT(?)) Anyhow. Here is the fic. I was still pretty busy today so this might suck but thERE IS PROGRESS SO. have fun reading and forgive any weird writing or typos. Ft. detective crooks ™, one of my guard ocs cause I always bring one up lol & nate. Thanks @brooks-schreave @nathaniel-schreave @eloiseduval for the rps that couldn’t all be included so this wasn’t a monster fic. around 3,2k words
*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧ *:・゚✧
“Your drink, Lady,” Rogers said, offering me a glass with a half bow as a joke. I snorted, but accepted it, taking a sip of the mysterious orange-tinged drink and tasting the alcohol.
“Well, Officer Rogers,” I stated dramatically, ready to tease him. “I doubt your commanding officer will approve of you giving alcohol to a Selected.”
He gave me a fake glare. “You said to surprise you. I just complied with a cocktail. Besides, it’s not like you’re not old enough.” His amused grin disappeared when I raised both eyebrows, silently asking, ‘am I though?’ He took the drink from my hand and set it on the silver platter of a passing servant. “Never mind.”
I laughed and stole his drink instead. His was just cider, which is what I would’ve asked for if it weren’t for my curiosity of what he would bring otherwise. “I see you like to keep it clean.”
He nodded, gladly taking my comment as a compliment and glancing at the ballroom. “I’m technically still on duty.”
“Fair point.”
I watched the beautifully decored ballroom too, in the midst of couples, spotting Eloise now done with Officer Barnes and dancing with Brooks. The prince looked different in his suit. A good different as he laughed at something our shared friend had told him. The brat kinda had a nice laugh… but anyway, that left my options to be, hanging around Rogers, chatting it up with another Selected or finding someone else to dance with.
I knew at some point of the night I would end up dancing with Brooks since we’d agreed to do so when our lead arrived, but that wouldn’t happen at the moment. Eventually, I was certain Rogers would be asked by another young Lady to dance with him. With no doubt, his good looks would help him. That meant I needed to figure out what I’d do next. My goal of making at least one friend so far had been accomplished with Eloise, but I had yet to establish any meaningful conversations with anyone else.
I was planning on it. Really, I was. But I was always too busy with research on the journal–or actually, any excuse I could come up with. After the success of Marshall’s birthday party, I considered her to be a good prospect though. For a moment, I thought I could try talking with her tonight. Even someone else for the sake of trying.
Many of the girls seemed to be getting a bit too excited about the variety of beverages available, however, and I did not do well with drunk people. While searching for sober familiar faces, I found the one prince we were all supposed to be there for. Finally free to talk.
“Go ahead,” Rogers teased when he noticed where my glance was.
I rolled my eyes, but handed him the glass back, telling him to shut up and walking over to Nate. Tapping his shoulder, I said, “Hello there,” and he turned around.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Quite free to dance at the moment.”
“Well so am I, would you care to dance?” He held out his hand for me to take.
“My, how unexpected of you Nate. It would be a pleasure.”
“Hello, dear Nathaniel.”
Brooks. A mischievous smile on his face and a confused Eloise on his hand as he approached me and Nate mid-dance. Stealing my hand from Nate’s, he changed my place with Eloise and told them to have fun. With no further explanation, he dragged me away.
“Hi.”
That wasn’t how I’d expected him to ask me to dance. Not now. Once I’d offered Eloise and Nate a polite smile, I gave him a deadpan look. “Was there no better moment for this?”
“Nope. See that guy?” He gestured towards a group of men that were clearly advisers. His hand was on my waist and my own on his shoulder as we easily slipped into our waltz. “That’s William Holt, father of the advisor John Holt, and one of the names mentioned in the journal.”
I spared them a glance as casually as possible. W.H. “Our mystery initials from the notes?”
“Yes, dear, our mystery initials.” I did my best not to roll eyes at the grin accompanying his joking ‘dear’ and let him continue. “I spoke a bit to some advisors, and I think he’s here on business. There’s been some talk of someone stealing books from the restricted section of the library.”
I raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “My, my… is that so? No wonder I never saw that journal while I was there. I had no access.”
A smirk of his own spread across his face as he whispered, “Neither did I. But tell me, why are they so fascinated that book is gone?”
“Guess we’re on the right track.”
“I have a plan. I’ve noticed key advisors have been flocking around him deep in some random conversation. If we stay close, we may find something.”
“Lead the way…Highness.”
Dancing us towards the men, I could see the same excitement coming off him as I’d seen the day before when I told him about the ink. It was kinda cute to see that childlike enthusiasm. “Be very quiet and listen.”
Once we were at the required distance to do so, I acted as if nothing was more important than our dancing, in reality, eavesdrop alongside Brooks on what the group was saying. They were too immersed in conversation to care about us or the other couples nearby. Nobody was supposed to be interested in their conversation anyway.
William Holt was older than my father but still managed to look decent. His son, John, did not share his silver hair yet but had the same cheekbones and bushy eyebrows.
“I figured this would happen. It’s a bit soon though,” William complained to the others. None appeared too concerned except John, however.
“Aren’t you worried who has it?”
William took a drink. “My bet is Levi.”
I exchanged looks with Brooks at the mention of a name.
“After all these years? He’s ancient by now.”
“He was always a resourceful one.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“Last I checked, Harrison still lives downtown. He throws some annual New Year’s Eve party. We’ll check him out after that. We wouldn’t want to draw suspicion.” William finished his drink after that as his son and the rest of the advisers nodded in agreement.
I mouthed, ‘journal?’ to Brooks and he danced us away to talk.
“We’ve gotta find that Levi guy.”
“Can we be sure he’s our guy?” I wondered. “I mean, he’s definitely related to the whole ordeal, but he might not be the writer of the annotations.”
“Regardless, it’s a lead. He may know who wrote them.”
His hand played with the fabric on the back of my dress as he spoke. I did my best to ignore it, unsure he was even aware he was doing it. Why I didn’t feel the need to mention it was also beyond me.
“Fair enough. We should check this guy out…But later.”
“You’re right,” he nodded, “We have to stay at the ball for a while longer. I’ll get in trouble if I leave.”
“Such a tragedy,” I said with an eye roll, but my sight drifted soon after to the advisers talking around the room. Dad hadn’t come and I pursed my lips, mumbling, “Strange…” at the realization. He hadn’t called me since his last visit, but I assumed he’d be here. He never missed events.
Before I could debate any possibilities in my head, Brooks spun me around. That earned him a laugh as he said, “Riveting.”
“What is?”
“This whole thing. I feel like I’m a part of the Scooby Gang.”
“A two-person gang?” I asked, amused.
As our investigation hit a pause, I found myself truthfully focused on dancing again, taking more deliberate strides as I watched my feet and smiled. All thanks to one name. I couldn’t help but feel excited. One step closer to the truth. “There’s always Holmes and Watson, you know? I’ll let you be my John.”
“John, really?” Brooks almost scoffed. “Dream on.”
“He’s very important too, don’t belittle the guy.”
“He’s the sidekick, Clove. I’m obviously the main attraction here.”
I let out a single laugh but noticed the small smile he gave me. “Don’t flatter yourself that much, Brooks. And stop insulting John! He had the heart of the team… well, depending on the adaptation.”
“If you prefer him so much, you can be him. I insist.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled smugly. “Need I remind you who of us managed to decipher that horrid writing and translate it?”
“Need I remind you of,” he twirled me again, “who started this in the first place?”
I feigned offense with a gasp, not missing a beat on my steps though. “I was doing my own research before you came along in case you weren’t aware.”
“But I definitely sped things up for you, didn’t I? Admit it. You needed me.”
“I had already admitted that… in my head, at least. From day one, that’s why I agreed to work with you. You needed my help as much as I needed yours. We wouldn’t have gotten far without each other.” I cleared my throat, noticing how my last sentence sounded and clarified, “Each other’s help, I mean.”
As I watched the way his lips parted to reveal a small smile, his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. “I really do appreciate your help. I hope you know that.”
Unable to drift my gaze away, I smiled too, pleasantly surprised by the sincere tone of his voice–the honesty, lacking any hint of sarcasm this once. “Well, now I know…I’m glad to be included.” It was strange to feel shy at the admission, but I only averted my eyes for a second and then looked back up. “It seems my help on other matters served its purpose too.”
“What do you mean?”
“No stepping on feet so far…and I haven’t been spun into oblivion either,” I teased and he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t jinx me.”
I chuckled. “Just keep it up.”
The song slowed down even more as he pulled me closer, like when we’d whispered to each other during dancing practice. The difference was that this time, his hand also covered the back of mine and pulled it to rest against his chest. I wasn’t sure if I imagined his heartbeat or not.
“Only for you.” His voice was dramatic as if it were one of his many jokes. Nonetheless, it somehow felt like there was some truth behind the words.
Blinking up at him, I was unable to reply for a few seconds at the change of positions. My head kept making mental notes that seemed rather unnecessary, such as the warmth of his hand seeping into mine. The way my heart almost fluttered at the proximity of our faces. The smell of hazelnut on him. My lack of concern for how close we were to each other. It felt very different from yesterday’s practice.
I rolled eyes at his joking tone, but when meeting his gaze again, a lump formed in my throat. I hoped my freckles would hide my slight blush as I said, “Lucky me.”
A small laugh. “As a gentleman, I feel like I should compliment you.”
I chuckled softly too. “But as Brooks, you must mock me, I’m sure.”
“No.” He paused. “A gentleman would feel required to tell you how lovely you look, but Brooks… I would mean it.”
My heartbeat was definitely skyrocketing now and I wasn’t sure why or how to make it stop. He’s just being nice. I stared down at my dress, smiling. Hopefully, not too awkwardly. That was actually… really sweet of him to say.
“Is that so? Well, you look quite handsome yourself.” I kept the tone light and decided not to make a big deal out of it. “Not too bad…”
“The word you’re looking for is ‘dashing’.”
“How very humble of you.”
A while later, the song came to an end and he released my hand slowly. I kinda missed the feeling of it wrapped around mine. “Meet me at the door when I signal you. We can research the address of that guy. We don’t have a lot of time until New Year’s Eve.”
An hour or so later, when I’d danced with Barnes, some politicians and chatted up with Eloise about that new trinket around her neck upon her return to the ballroom, I saw Brooks near the exit, brushing a thumb over his nose. I returned the signal and made sure no one was watching before walking over.
Brooks pulled me out into the hallway.  “Sorry if I cut your evening short.”
“We have to figure this out anyway. It’s the best lead we’ve got.”
He nodded and led the way to another part of the palace forbidden for the Selected. Once there, he gestured for me to be silent and got a key from his pocket. I kept a lookout as he opened the door cautiously. I had to reprimand myself for suddenly agreeing on his Scooby gang comparison.
He let me walk in first and closed the door softly behind him. I decided to ask where he’d gotten that key at another moment and followed him as he swiftly made his way to the single computer in the room. Technology had been making a comeback amongst some crowds in the past years but was still pretty rare.
Despite that, Brooks didn’t seem to have a problem browsing the computer. “This is where they keep the online files of addresses, birthdates, castes, stuff like that. All we have to do is look at past advisors and search for a Harrison Levi.”
My finger traced the top of the old equipment as I took a glance at the other file cabinets and bookshelves in the room. “In how much trouble would we be if we were caught here?”
“Lots and lots.” He glanced up from his typing quickly and asked, “Why?”
I focused on the different folders he was opening on the screen. “Aren’t you concerned?”
“I’ve spent my entire life being nervous about things. I’m past the point of nerves now.” The relentless sound of clicking echoed in the room as he continued. “Here’s the page. We just need to let it load now, which could take…” he squinted at the screen, “a while.”
“Just because I’ve avoided being caught before doesn’t stop me from being nervous, sadly. Especially because this is so much worse than just being out after curfew. I don’t entirely mind the adrenaline, simply want to know how much I’m risking here.”
He replied nothing at first and began humming instead. I couldn’t stop the memory of our duet from crossing my mind.
And all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago is blue eyes and freckles and your smile… Spinning around in his swivel chair, he faced me, a hint of uncertainty in his features. “I really am sorry to have pulled you away from the Ball.”
I tried to wave away his insecurity. “It’s fine. I had already danced enough and made my presence.” Moving the edges of my skirt, I made the fabric dance around my legs and added with a shrug, “And I got to wear a pretty dress so…”
“You’re not upset I pulled you away from Nate? I know it’s hard to get time with him.”
“He’s a busy guy, but what we got was good. He has a lot of other girls to worry about more than me.” I thought about our conversation during the ball again. I did feel good around Nate, but not like there was something yet. I even brought up the word ‘friend’ without a care in the world. “I‘m pretty sure what we have will always be a friendship and that’s okay.”
Brooks lifted both eyebrows. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, that’s what it feels like… I like him, but not in that way, you know? Some others already seem to have feelings for him and as much as I care for him it’s not… romantic. I came here knowing love had a very slim chance of striking, so I’m not that disappointed I guess,” I spared him a glance, “Why so surprised?”
He repressed a smile and turned back to the computer. “I’ve always shown an interest in your love life, haven’t I? I’m nosy like that.”
I clicked my tongue and narrowed my eyes at him. Smiling was unavoidable though. “You’re still horrible.” Leaning forward to take a closer look at the screen, I asked if there was a match yet. The computer seemed to continue running over a million old archives, however.
From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him spare me a glance, like my proximity made him nervous, but the screen finally loaded and stole my attention away. The profile picture of a man in his early thirties had popped up along other windows behind it. The photo was not recent, of course. It had to be from the days this man worked as part of the royal cabinet. Ginger hair and lively green eyes had once gazed upon a camera for that picture.
“It’s a match, holy shoot, it’s a match!”
Leaning even closer to the screen and reaching for the mouse over Brooks, I held back the euphoria bubbling in my stomach, clicking on the other windows to see more information. His files confirmed his years working with the royal family as an adviser. His early resignation did not go unnoticed, but a few clicks later I found what I was searching for.
In a handful of documents, one of them contained his signature. My eyes widen as I read aloud, “Harrison Levi… It’s the same handwriting.” A grin slowly took over my face, “the strokes and loops, the way he strings the letters together.” I turned to Brooks with a wide smile. “It’s him. He wrote the annotations.”
He didn’t move for an instant as if he’d been watching me from the moment I opened my mouth with some sort of fascination. The second passed by fast and he stood up. “Do you know what this means? Clove, we have his address. We can find this guy!”
Running a hand through my hair, I looked back at Brooks, beaming with excitement. “We found him…He’s alive and we know where he lives.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “We even have a party to crash!”
He ran a hand through his hair as well, full of disbelief, in the frenzy of our eureka moment, picking me up, hands on my waist as he swung me around in a thrill. All I could do was chuckle with the same happiness and anticipation. A sense of butterflies in my stomach I finally understood.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened right after, however.
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youhavebeentraceyd · 8 years ago
Text
Tianshan Week Day 5 - Office AU
read it on the AO3
Summary: so far my only contribution to tianshan week and im sorryyyy. but anyway, office au, smut. they do it at work, and that is all
Words: 5435
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Fandom: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Relationships: He Tian/Mo Guan Shan
Characters: He Tian, Mo Guan Shan - Character
Additional Tags: AU Office AU Smut hell yeah i paused working on my other fic to write this so please love this
Guan Shan walks out of the finished company meeting very briskly, frustrated and with a half hard boner. All because of that shitty co-worker of his. No matter how much Guan Shan tries to block out He Tian from his sight and his mind, he always finds himself thinking about him and sneaking glances over at him whenever he can. His hair, his face, his voice, his fucking toned chest tightly fitted underneath the fabric of his work shirts...no, fuck. Stop. He can’t be thinking about him right now, with what’s happening down in his trousers.
The worst part about being so physically attracted to him, is that he actually hates He Tian. Back when Guan Shan had first seen him at the office, he was surrounded by female co-workers at the water coolers. When they had made eye contact, He Tian gave him a once-over look with a smile, liking what he saw, and sent him a wink - which was completely inappropriate in the workplace environment. Since that very first moment, He Tian has been nothing but a nuisance. The constant advances towards him does nothing but tease and aggravate him.  One time he came over to Guan Shan’s cubicle and spilled his plastic cup of water all over his lap. He grabbed some tissues and wiped down Guan Shan’s crotch area. He actually did that.
The lewd remarks, the sexual behaviour, his devilish smiles, he directs all of that towards Guan Shan, giving him all these signs that he wants him, but then doesn’t seal the deal. No asking out on dates, no offerings to take him home after the company mixers, nothing. Guan Shan is convinced that he’s only doing all of this to goad him, and he hates that. He hates He Tian. 
Honestly, Guan Shan should’ve filed a sexual harassment complaint by now. But he hasn’t. He won’t. 
Rather than go back to his cubicle like the rest of his co-workers, Guan Shan detours down the hall and to the right, where the copy and printer room is. He would've preferred the men’s bathroom but that was one floor down and he needed to cool his head (and dick) down immediately, so printer room it is. 
The printer room is well air-coned and it’s mainly only used on Fridays when hard copy reports are to be handed in, so he knows he’ll be alone in there. But on the off chance that someone does come in, he doesn’t want to look like he’s slacking off. So he grabs some loose printing paper that missed the rubbish bin and starts making copies of them with the scanner, putting the copying amount to 1000 - that will take a while. He takes in a deep breath in, and back out, this is good, he just needs ten minutes in here to calm down and then he’ll be able to return to work as a functioning member of this company, with no boner and zero thoughts of a certain co-worker fucking him on a desk...Maybe give him fifteen minutes. 
Suddenly he hears the door open, oh great. Sighing once again, he turns to look at his unwanted guest - fuck, no. Unwanted is the appropriate term. 
“Oh hey, Guan Shan. I didn’t know you were in here,” He Tian says fakely, with his fake smile and fake sincerity. Of course he knew Guan Shan was in here. The heat rises and grows exponentially all over Guan Shan as he watches He Tian close the door, now alone with the cause of all his troubles and frustrations. 
“What do you want?” Guan Shan asks harshly. If this was a non-professional environment, he absolutely would’ve said ‘what the fuck do you want?’ instead. To make it transparently clear that his intentions towards He Tian are hostile.
He Tian puts his hands up as a sign of peace, what bullshit, and continues to smile sweetly at him, “I’m just here to use the printer.” 
“Well this one’s taken,” Guan Shan gestures to the printer he’s using defensively. 
“Yeah, clearly,” He Tian retorts, looking like he wants to roll his eyes. Guan Shan’s face burns, He Tian always manages to make him feel like an idiot. He Tian walks over to the printer right next to Guan Shan’s and the sudden close proximity has Guan Shan instinctively stepping around his own to get further away, as if the printer could protect him. 
Of course He Tian notices with a smile but he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he gets to work on the printer, pressing some buttons here and there until it gets going. Then he bends down, flaunting his ass in Guan Shan’s direction to check the stock of paper in the printer. Shit, this is not good. Guan Shan had come in here to cool down but with He Tian in the room, doing what He Tian does, his erection is getting stiffer by the second. 
When He Tian gets up again he starts to loosen his tie a little and undo his top button. Guan Shan was in physical pain now. He Tian was too damn hot and he fucking knew it. He knew what he was doing to him and Guan Shan bets that he also knows that Guan Shan wants He Tian to push him against a wall and fuck him senseless, knows that Guan Shan wants He Tian to make him come so hard he screams. He wants He Tian so badly he doesn’t know how much more of this torture he can take. 
“So I was watching you during the meeting,” He Tian states nonchalantly, and Guan Shan can't help but think, no shit. 
“And you didn’t look too good, like you're burning up. I think you might have a fever.” 
Right, a fever, let's go with that. Red refrains from arguing against it. But then suddenly he stops listening to what he's saying to him, distracted by what he notices is happening to He Tian’s printer. 
It's printing out blank pieces of paper. And from the small screen on the printer it says ‘15/1000 copies to go’. He Tian is doing the exact same thing that Guan Shan did; giving the illusion of productivity while in reality they’re just stalling for time. Guan Shan’s mind races with the implications. That He Tian is not in this room for work related reasons, but because he wants to be in this room with him. It shouldn't surprise Guan Shan really, He Tian wants to mess with him all the time. But he can't help but let his heart beat faster at the thought of He Tian coming in here to talk to him alone. He also can't help noting that with two printers working away, the noise in here would make it impossible for anyone outside to hear them talk. 
With these thoughts filling his head, Guan Shan is slow to notice He Tian stepping around the printers to stand right next to him. The back of his hand lightly touches Guan Shan’s forehead, “Are you alright?” 
He Tian is right in front of him, so close. And that delicate touch is enough to send Guan Shan over the edge. 
"Fuck this," Guan Shan says, exasperated and absolutely done with all of this bullshit. He grabs He Tian by his tie and tugs him forward, kissing him roughly. He is done with talking, and done with all of their side-stepping around each other. 
He Tian is only given a second to breathe before Guan Shan has him tightly by the hair, kissing him again, rigorously biting and licking at his lips. He feels He Tian grab onto his waist and they step backwards until Guan Shan’s ass hits the edge of a desk. He Tian has a thigh between Guan Shan’s legs, no doubt feeling the stiffness of Guan Shan’s dick. He doesn’t really care what He Tian thinks of that, far too distracted by He Tian’s tongue pushing deep into his mouth, taking control of their situation. Guan Shan feels hot and bothered all over, quickly losing breath at the rush of He Tian’s lips, He Tian’s hands, He Tian’s tongue, He Tian’s everything.
When they finally separate for air, breathing heavily against each other, He Tian looks at Guan Shan. There’s nothing but lust in his eyes and Guan Shan feels the heat pool in his stomach. 
“Fucking finally,” He Tian whispers huskily.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Guan Shan isn’t given any time to ask when He Tian holds onto the nape of Guan Shan’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Their lips collide, desperate and full of want. Guan Shan moans into the kiss, his groin rutting against He Tian’s thigh. He’ll ask questions afterwards, but for now he needs more of this. He pushes He Tian away and flips them around; He Tian now leaning against the desk. Their kisses become sloppier, as Guan Shan gets distracted with unbuckling He Tian’s belt.
“I need you,” Guan Shan says between wet kisses, “To take off,” he makes quick work of He Tian’s tie after his belt, “Your fucking clothes.” 
He Tian obliges by letting go of Guan Shan and starts unbuttoning his own shirt. Guan Shan wanted to watch him take it off, to watch him reveal his no doubt exquisite chest, bit by bit, but He Tian went and distracted him with kisses. He then feels He Tian’s hands slip around his back, drawing him closer to his chest which sets Guan Shan on fucking fire. 
Feeling the heat surrounding him, Guan Shan wants to stay like this for hours, screw going back to work. With that single sudden thought, Guan Shan pulls back, “Ah fuck, wait, wait.” 
He Tian doesn’t let him go too far, keeping his hands around him, “What is it?”
Guan Shan looks over to the entrance that they both came through, any of their co-workers (or worse their boss) could have come in and caught them by now, “The door. We need to-” 
“-I already locked it.” 
“Wha-?”
“When I came in.”
He Tian had said it so dismissively, like this wasn’t a topic of interest to discuss and that he wanted to get back to the task at hand. And true, Guan Shan also wanted to get back to what they were doing, but he just had to ask, “You knew this would happen?” 
A smile grows on He Tian’s face, “No,” he shakes his head, “I just didn't want anyone to come in while we talked.” 
Good enough answer for Guan Shan. 
“Fuck talking,” he says before his lips are back on He Tian’s with bruising force, their tongues beckoning each other in so naturally. Guan Shan traces his fingers around the curves of He Tian’s rock-hard abs, finally able to touch them after the pure torture of watching He Tian bend and stretch in his tight shirts during all those meetings. He pulls his face away enough to look down at where his own hands are going. He slowly moves them down, until finally reaching He Tian’s crotch. He palms him through his pants, listening to He Tian’s heavy breathing, and feeling the size of him. He had suspected He Tian to be above average, but this...
“Guan Shan,” He Tian interrupts his thoughts. Guan Shan looks up to see a heavy-lidded He Tian, perfect red lips glistening, “Get on your knees.”
Fuck. Guan Shan was planning to anyway, but with that single order he drops to his knees without missing a beat. He catches the way He Tian’s eyes widen for a moment, startled by how eager he is, and Guan Shan smiles, feeling the thrill of surprising He Tian. He quickly get He Tian’s pants and underwear out of the way and takes him into his hand, mouth watering at the size of the throbbing cock and licks his lips. 
“Too big for you?” He Tian drawls with a smirk. 
Guan Shan only smiles back provocatively, “Not at all.” 
He doesn’t wait for He Tian to retort, before he has him in his mouth, while his hands go to grip onto He Tian’s bare thighs. Above him, He Tian keens. Guan Shan feels the shudder escape He Tian’s mouth, trying to keep his cool. He definitely wants to see He Tian lose control, thinking of it as revenge for all of He Tian’s shit that he's had to put up with. But also he just really wants to suck He Tian’s dick. 
He takes the head into his mouth, sucking hard, and then dragging his tongue over the slit, causing He Tian’s breath to hitch. Too easy. If Guan Shan’s mouth wasn’t full he’d be smiling. Slackening his jaw, he almost pushes He Tian’s entire length in his mouth with one quick motion, and he looks up to see He Tian cover his own mouth, his face scrunched up in pleasure. Good. Guan Shan can’t help but moan himself, choking on the fullness of He Tian’s pulsing cock. He starts bobbing forwards and back, trailing his tongue up in different directions, wanting to hear He Tian’s lose control. 
“Fucking hell, Guan Shan,” He Tian lets out with a shaky voice. His hands reach to the sides of Guan Shan’s head and hold him there. Guan Shan gets the message and opens his mouth further before He Tian thrusts into his throat, tears appearing in Guan Shan’s eyes. God, yes please. Guan Shan whimpers at the harshness of the thrusts, his nails digging into He Tian’s thighs. With every stroke, He Tian’s cock reaches the back of his throat and the pleasure is unbearable for both of them. His muffled whines and He Tian’s groans fill the room, as well as the sopping sound of his mouth taking in He Tian’s cock over and over and over again. If it wasn’t for the loud workings of the two printers still in use, they would have had no chance of hiding this from their co-workers. 
He Tian lets go of Guan Shan’s head suddenly, leaning back and placing his hands on the desk to stabilise himself. His breathing had become erratic, and Guan Shan knew that he was close to climaxing in Guan Shan’s mouth. With no hands holding him in place, Guan Shan finally pulls off of He Tian’s cock completely, lips plump and wet, face flushed and precum dribbling down his chin. From the way He Tian is looking at him, Guan Shan knows that he looks very fuckable. And god, is Guan Shan desperate to be fucked by him.
Steadying himself on his knees, Guan Shan’s hands let go of their tight grip on He Tian’s thighs and move to unbuckle his own pants. He lifts his waist up to pull his pants and underwear down, freeing his hard cock. Now one of his hands goes back to He Tian’s thigh, while the other hand’s fingers go into his mouth, making sure He Tian is watching as he laps his fingers up, coating them with saliva. He draws his soaking fingers out and moves them behind himself. The look in He Tian’s eyes is priceless when he sticks two fingers into his ass with a sultry gasp. 
Now fingering himself, Guan Shan attempts to take He Tian’s cock into his mouth again, but is stopped short by He Tian pushing him back. 
“Get up,” He Tian orders, placing his hands under Guan Shan’s armpits to help pull him up into a standing position quickly, “Bend over the desk.” 
Guan Shan feels his cock throb at the words, obediently pulling his fingers out and leaning down onto the desk with both elbows, cock hanging low between his legs. He Tian growls at the sight in front of him, before pulling Guan Shan’s pants and underwear down all the way to the floor. He stays down on his knees and runs his hands up from Guan Shan’s calves to his ass and grabs his cheeks firmly. Spreading Guan Shan apart with his thumbs, He Tian sighs, “You have a great ass.” 
“I do?” Guan Shan questions. 
But the very moment He Tian’s tongue starts stroking between his ass cheeks, lapping up his most sensitive area, Guan Shan is no longer capable of coherent thought. 
“Oh fuck,” Guan Shan moans, his whole body trembling at the tension building up inside of him as He Tian’s tongue goes wild down there. It looks like He Tians tongue isn't just talented at smooth talking business associates and clients. 
Guan Shan’s barely able to control his groans and whimpers when He Tian presses in deeper, his muscles clenching and loosening around his swirling tongue. He hears He Tian hum in satisfaction as he withdraws his mouth, leaving Guan Shan soaked and exposed. 
Suddenly He Tian pushes his thumb inside and Guan Shan groans, his eyes shutting tight with pleasure. He can't help the string of encouragements towards He Tian, murmuring under his breath nonsensical words that trip over one another. He Tian continues to moisten him up with his tongue, and he can feel his asshole opening up more with He Tian's thumb. It's soon replaced by He Tian’s index fingers, which slides in easier and deeper than his thumb could. 
“More...god, please more,” Guan Shan slurs, fingers scrambling on the desk for something to hold onto. He Tian adds his middle finger and Guan Shan whines at the stretch. With all his licking and scissoring and teasing, He Tian is making an absolute mess of Guan Shan and god, he is loving it.
“M-more,” Guan Shan pleads again. He just wants to be open enough for He Tian’s cock as soon as possible. 
He Tian finally adds his ring finger and now with three fingers inside him, Guan Shan’s gasps sharply at the rough stretch, but the pain quickly subsides when He Tian finds his prostate. At which point Guan Shan has to cover his mouth from outright screaming as he lurches on top of the desk, trying to grind back onto the long fingers. He Tian lets him take over for a moment, let's Guan Shan fuck himself on his fingers, filling the loud printing room with more obscene moans and slick skin than it did before. The waves of pleasure pulse through his body with every push against his prostate, it's quickly becoming unbearable, he needs the real thing inside him. Now. 
“Fuck me. I'm ready, just fucking- fuck me already,” Guan Shan begs, moaning impatiently, not caring that he sounds whiny, because he's been fantasizing and waiting for this for months, ever since he first saw He Tian at that water cooler. 
He Tian pulls his fingers out slowly, and leans over him to whisper, “Take off your shirt.” 
He pulls Guan Shan up and has him turn back around, facing him. With shaky fingers, Guan Shan unbuttons his work shirt. He watches He Tian crouch down again, tugging off Guan Shan's shoes, socks and pants one leg up at a time.
When he rises from the floor, He Tian claims Guan Shan’s lips in a kiss, it's urgent and rough and Guan Shan is overwhelmed once again by how much he wants He Tian. He pulls away to undo the last button on his own shirt and quickly slide it down his shoulders, but it gets stuck at his elbows where the sleeves are rolled up. A mischievous grin grows on He Tian's face and before Guan Shan can think, He Tian grabs the back of his shirt and twists it around his hand, locking Guan Shan’s arms behind his back. He takes Guan Shan’s cock with his free hand and starts stroking him. 
Guan Shan gasps and squirms on the edge of the desk, but he can't escape. He doesn't want to escape. He tries to stop himself from crying out words like yes and please and god don't stop. But he does anyway, murmuring them under his breath. He Tian groans and leans in closer, keeping his hand busy. He bends his head low and Guan Shan feels the drag of He Tian's tongue licking up his neck, and then he bites down. Guan Shan's whole body shudders at the sensation, feeling his quickened pulse against He Tian’s teeth and tongue. Guan Shan’s hips swirl and push up involuntarily, trying to fuck into He Tian’s hands. 
He's desperate. They both are. He Tian removes his hand from Guan Shan’s cock and lifts him up until he's sitting on the desk. He Tian steps away while Guan Shan finally pulls the rest of his shirt off. 
“I have a condom in my-” Guan Shan goes to offer, but stops short when he sees He Tian pull one out of his own pants pocket from the floor. Glad to know He Tian is just as prepared for impromptu fucking as Guan Shan is. 
After quickly putting the condom on and slicking himself up with spit, He Tian pushes Guan Shan down by the chest and spreads his legs up and apart. He positions himself at Guan Shan’s entrance, but then Guan Shan reaches out to stop him, “Wait, wait, wait.” 
He Tian practically growls, “You want to stop now?” 
“No, no, fuck no, I just,” Guan Shan huffs out of breath and a little incoherent, “...I want...against wall...I want you to fuck me...against the wall.” 
There’s a quiet pause as He Tian processes his request. It's not a simple task Guan Shan knows this, supporting someone’s weight for a long time requires strength and stamina. Suddenly He Tian grabs Guan Shan’s legs and wraps them around his waist, then goes to pull Guan Shan up by his back. Guan Shan moves along with him, wrapping his arms around He Tian’s neck, while he gets lifted up with ease. Guan Shan can’t help but smile, looking at He Tian’s unstrained face and relishing in He Tian’s strength, he’ll do just fine. 
He Tian walks them forward until Guan Shan feels the cold press of the nearest white wall and excitement builds in him once again, god, finally. Guan Shan helps to lift himself up enough to give He Tian the chance to position himself properly. When Guan Shan feels He Tian’s wet cock at his asshole he carefully sinks himself down. Finally. Slowly, he pushes He Tian’s cock in, inch by inch, gasping for breath as he descends and desperate to be filled. The tightness feels overwhelming and he forces himself to relax, hot breaths against He Tian’s neck. 
It doesn’t take long for the pain to subside and Guan Shan gives an experimental roll of his hips. He lets out a whimper, tightening his grip around He Tian, his fingers probably leaving marks on He Tian’s back. He pulls away from He Tian’s neck to look at his face. He Tian is sweating but there’s no signs of exhaustion, in fact he looks energized, absolutely ready for Guan Shan to just say the word and he’ll start giving it to him at full force. It sends a shiver down Guan Shan’s spine. He lifts himself up and then grinds back down, panting into He Tian’s mouth. It gets easier with every slow roll of his hips on and off of He Tian’s cock. 
“Okay,” Guan Shan huffs out through his endless panting. And just like that, He Tian tightens his grip on Guan Shan’s ass and start pounding into him. He sets a harsh and fast pace right from the get-go and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to hold back the volume. Guan Shan cries out, embarrassingly loud, when He Tian unexpectedly strikes his prostate. He hopes the printers are covering up this noise. 
Guan Shan drags out a long ragged breath, trying to get control of himself, but then He Tian angles his hips in a way that has him hitting Guan Shan’s soft spot with every thrust. Guan Shan doesn’t stand a chance, if someone walks past the printing room, they’re doomed. 
With every thrust hitting his prostate, tears fall out of Guan Shan’s eyes, overwhelmed by the pleasure, feeling He Tian’s thick cock stretching and pushing and filling him up. He’s been fantasizing about this for so long, and now that it's happening, it’s better than what he imagined. He just can’t seem to hold back any of the unholy sounds coming out of his mouth. The long string of fuck fuck He Tian fuck yes fucks just roll so easily off his tongue, letting out moans and shaky breaths between them as He Tian’s thrusts continue deeper into him. 
Guan Shan risks removing one hand around He Tian’s neck and slips it around his own leaking, aching, cock and starts stroking himself in time with He Tian’s thrusts. The added sensation overwhelms Guan Shan, causing him to clench down hard onto He Tian’s cock. Which in turn, makes He Tian give out a loud moan. Guan Shan can feel the rush of his orgasm building, tilting his head until it scratches up and down the wall with every thrust. 
“He Tian, I’m...I’m going-” Guan Shan gasps out, out of breath. He’s so close, he knows that if he looks at He Tian, the sweating hot mess in front of him, he’ll come right then and there. But he does anyway, he looks right into He Tian’s eyes, pupils blown and hot, so fucking hot. Guan Shan’s breath hitches and lets out a shuddering groan as he comes over both of their stomachs in messy splatters. Pulses of electric shocks run through his body, clenching all of his muscles, and suddenly he feels weightless. He can’t feel his legs, miraculously still wrapped around He Tian, but he can barely think about that right now when all he has on his mind is how fucking amazing that was. 
Guan Shan sluggishly watches He Tian continue fucking him, his thrusts becoming erratic and short, grunting with every stroke. Guan Shan pulls He Tian’s face towards him and their lips collide with biting force, Guan Shan practically eating at He Tian’s tongue and bottom lip. It seems to do wonders for He Tian because he comes then with a low groan in his throat. He Tian keeps slowly thrusting through his orgasm, breathing heavily into his mouth, gripping so tightly to his ass that Guan Shan knows there will be marks on it for days. 
The room smells like sex, like sweat and most importantly, like He Tian. If he wasn’t starting to feel the cramps in his legs from this position, Guan Shan would want to stay like this, savouring it until the very last moment. But they're both exhausted, so He Tian lifts him up a bit to slowly pull out, and Guan Shan moans at the loss. As soon as Guan Shan unwraps himself from around He Tian, he sinks down to the floor, no strength in his legs left. He rests his head against the wall, trying to catch his breath.
Did all that really just happen?
In distress, Guan Shan thinks that this might just have been another one of his vivid fantasies and he’ll soon wake up in bed, alone, with a boner, and still very much frustrated. But no, as he watches He Tian pull off and tie up the condom, Guan Shan knows that this wasn’t a dream because his dreams never last this long past the fucking. 
He Tian manages to find a roll of paper towels from fuck-knows-where and passes it to Guan Shan to clean himself up. He takes it from him, neither of them making eye contact, and quietly wipes up the cum on his chest and throws it in the bin with all the scrap paper. Guan Shan’s legs feel like jelly, but he manages to stand up and head towards his crumbled up clothes. He finds that He Tian has already tucked himself back into his briefs and is fixing his messed up hair. 
They get changed in silence and if it wasn't for the printers still going, the silence would be deafening. Both of their work suits had gotten wrinkled but at least there’s no stains to worry about. As he finishes buttoning up his shirt, Guan Shan panics at what little time they have left to talk about happened before one of them decides to leave first. The time for no talking is gone and Guan Shan really needs to know what the fuck their situation is now. 
Then Guan Shan realises that once again, he’s waiting for He Tian to make the first move, and doing that in the past had gotten them nowhere. So he breaks the silence first, asking the biggest question on his mind, “What are we?” 
Guan Shan cringes internally, like what is he, a teenager again?
“Whatever you want us to be,” He Tian says non-committedly as he turns to turn off both printers. 
Red mulls over He Tian’s response, then shakes his head, “No, that's not going to cut it. I need to know what you want from me.” 
The printers turn off, and the room falls into complete silence. He Tian isn’t looking at him. Guan Shan thinks about the start: He Tian growling out fucking finally, and he realises he might already know what that He Tian meant; “Was this always just about sex? Was the reason why you never asked me out on a date was because you didn't want that? You wanted something like this to happen instead?” 
Guan Shan looks at the floor, fearing to hear the answer, that yeah, He Tian was only after his body. He Tian never asked for something more because he didn't want something more. 
“You wanted me to ask you out?” 
Guan Shan looks up at He Tian then because he may have sounded confused, but he didn't sound disgusted by his own question. 
“Well...Yeah,” Guan Shan answers like it was the most obvious conclusion to make. 
A broad smile grows on He Tian's face, “Do you want to come over to my place for dinner tonight?” 
Guan Shan steps back, “...Don't say that unless you mean it.” 
“No, I mean it,” He Tian steps closer, “I want to.” 
His smile never wavers and he seems to be finding their situation funny with that little chuckle of his, “To be honest, Guan Shan, I didn’t think you actually liked me.” 
“What?”
“I knew you were very attracted to me sure, but liked? You don't exactly make that clear.” 
Guan Shan takes a moment to think back on his own behaviour around He Tian in the past, becoming self-aware. All of his grumbles and eye rolls and fuck offs and whatevers. It does send quite a message, “Oh.” 
He Tian chuckles again before moving towards Guan Shan and casually slipping his arms around his waist. Standing at his full height, He Tian looks down at Guan Shan with...fondness, “You know, the only sign I got that I had any chance with you, was that you had never filed any harassment complaints against me.” 
“...That's dumb.”
It's all Guan Shan can say before He Tian is leaning down and kissing him. It's slow and gentle, the softest it's ever been since he started all of this an hour ago. Guan Shan lifts his arms up around his neck and deepens the kiss. It quickly heats them up, tongues pulling each other in, their breathing getting heavier. They both pull back, stopping themselves before things get carried away. 
“Right, cool,” He Tian breathes out, heading to the door. Guan Shan hears the unlock of the door and then sees He Tian turn to him, “Straight to my place after work?” 
Guan Shan tries fighting fights back a smile but fails, “Sure.” 
While the smile on He Tian’s face just continues to grow, “I think that's the first smile you've ever directed at me.” 
“Oh, shut up,” Guan Shan steps forward and pushes at He Tian’s arm, the only form of flirting he knows how. He Tian laughs at the effort and opens the door, to which they pause to find their co-worker, Jian Yi, leaning against the wall opposite the printing room. 
His arms are crossed and he initially looked pissed, but at the sight of He Tian and Guan Shan, together, shifting his eyes between the two, looking at their minor disheveledness- the biggest grin replaces his annoyance, “Well, fucking finally.”
thats it folks! im the slowest writer in the world, so im happy that i at least got one fic completed for tianshanweek :’)
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itschrissenpai · 8 years ago
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(A super late but still in time) Happy Birthday to you, @thatbastardmiyuki / @mochi6 !! ♥
Since you made this adorable drabble for my birthday last month, I just had to write something for you too. I hope you're having a nice, stressless day with much cake and many presents. You're a amazing person and one of the best ChrisMiyu shippers I know (and the best Miyuki my Chris could wish for).
Enjoy your day and have this ficlet of our dancing class!au. I figured I could sent this to you via IM but it was just so much text, that I decided that this would just be easier to post. 
ChrisMiyu ahead, in case you weren’t figuring it out already.(◡‿◡✿)
I really hope there aren’t too many weird parts or typos in there but I really wanted to finish this despite feeling a little feverish. Also, the end was totally on purpose heh. 
Ceru.
PS: No real nsfw here (just some teasing and... bananas). but it’s a long post, so I kept it under a Readmore after the first scene.
Home Is When I’m With You
     When Chris was young, Christmas always meant everything to him; family gatherings, weird sweaters (not to say ugly since his father used to be all happy seeing him wear them), good food and - of course - presents.
     Things shifted once he got older, gatherings getting rare occasions with his parents getting divorced and his father being absorbed in his work - and once Chris was the one working in his father's company too, knowing that one day it would be his , he started to forget about the importance this day once had for him.
     But it changed again when he met Kazuya. Granted, things between them always took their time. With them both being very busy (Kazuya was a well known model who definitely didn't need to look for jobs anymore), sometimes, it got difficult to meet up, to even just spend a night or an evening together without any interruptions. Sometimes Chris wondered how they even managed to keep this relationship. But they always found a way and it never changed anything about their feelings, not even after so many years.
     One of the things Kazuya brought back to Chris was Christmas. Despite their full schedules, they always spend the day with each other. It wasn't like they decided on it together; it just... happened and they had kept this little tradition since then.
     However, this year was different, because instead of sitting on their couch, all wrapped up in a blanket with a glass of wine and just some cuddling and snuggling, Chris was standing at Narita International Airport and checked the time in distress.
     "What do you mean, you cancelled the last meeting to go back to Japan? This was supposed to be one of the biggest deals we could've wished for the company this year, Yuu!"
     Chris sighed, trying not to move too abruptly while searching for his luggage. Fortunately, it should be one of the first pieces on the moving walkway since he'd been one of the last people to check in.
     "I know, father. And I made sure to send someone who's perfectly able to represent us in the meantime." He put the phone between his ear and his shoulder when his suitcase was the first to roll into his direction. "It won't affect the deal. But I had to come back sooner."
    "What kind of emergency is important enough to risk that deal?"
    Chris pulled the suitcase off the walkway, checking again if it was his. It took him a few seconds to give an answer, but when he did, there was a smile on his face.
    "Something personal", he said, tone gentle. "It's Christmas after all, father."
    Again, he checked his watch, realizing that it would still take at least an hour until he'd be back home; and he still had to make sure that Kazuya would be there, otherwise it had been pointless to stress about coming back early.
    "I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Merry Christmas, father."
    "Yuu, I'm not-"
    He hung up, trying not to think about how much damage control he'd had to do the next day to somehow calm his father down again.
    "You were on a business trip?"
    Chris looked up from his phone, surprised by the sudden question. The taxi driver was looking at him through the driving mirror, giving him a smile that Chris tried to return.
    "Yes. I've been to America for a week."
    "And you just came back to celebrate the day with someone?" It was somehow obvious that he did, considering that he came back miles to be here on this particular day. So Chris nodded, leaning a little back in his seat. There was a short pause, until the driver - a broadly build man, old enough to have white hair and a beard, some wrinkles shaping his face -, gave off a deep laugh. It strangely reminded Chris of... Christmas despite the lack of decoration in the car.
    He pulled out his phone to text Kuramochi, knowing that it was the most subtle way to get to know where Kazuya was since he and Kominato planned on asking him if he wanted to stay the evening. Once he sent a short message, he could only do so much and wait.
    Luckily, he got an answer minutes later that made him smile again - this time more sincerely than before.
    [text from: Kuramochi] Asked him but he said he'd rather watch a movie than be the third wheel all night. You gotta call him?
    Definitely something Kazuya would say.
    [text to: Kuramochi] No. I took a flight back. Don't tell him.
    With that he put his phone away to grab a small box he kept in his bag. Kuramochi was probably grinning at the message; perhaps even telling his boyfriend about it. About the fact that today was the day Chris would do what he'd planned on weeks before his trip. But once he opened the box, exposing a small, golden ring, he felt his chest tighten in nervousness.
    They'd never talked about this. About marriage, about staying together like this. It was a gamble to take that step without being able to calculate the outcome, but damn, Chris was willing to take it after so much time. If Kazuya decided that it wasn't what he wanted, then at least he'd tried - but that thought was anything but calming him down.
    He rubbed his temples as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to go through everything he wanted to say.
    "Young love surely is beautiful, especially on Christmas, isn't it?" Chris looked up again, closing the box.
    "I guess it is", he answered, hands playing with the box. "It can be hard sometimes too though. We're not necessarily in a - what you'd call - normal relationship."
    "Depends on what you're defining as normal. But it seems to have worked out well until now." He nodded, eyes obviously on the little box to emphasize his words.
    "It did. I'm lucky to have..." Him. "Them. Both of our jobs don't make it easy to have a private life."
    "It seems like you're handling it well."
    "Yeah." Chris took a breath again. "Which is why I want to be with them." For the rest of my life.
    The car slowly stopped, causing Chris to look up. They were in the middle of the freeway, cars next to cars, rolling slowly further the road. The taxi driver furrowed his brows as he turned up the volume of the radio, listening to the announcement. The volume was still too low for Chris to hear it.
    "Is anything the problem?", he asked cautiously, internally preparing for something he didn't want to hear.
    "I'm afraid yes. Apparently there was a crash that causes the traffic jam. I'm sorry to say this, but we're most likely being here for a while."
    Of course. That one time when he needed to be home as early as possible was that one time he'd be stuck. Chris suppressed a sigh. Perhaps this wasn't a good sign for him. Perhaps this was supposed to tell him that he better not proposed tonight. Perhaps--
    "How about you take a nap? Since we'll be staying here for a while, you might as well not want to be tired once we reach your place."
    "I don't think I'll be able to sleep much. I'm..." Well, definitely a little tired after such a long flight, but probably too stressed to get proper sleep now. "I'm sorry."
    "How about you take that pillow next to you and lean back at least? I know this weren't the best news to tell you just now but if you want to surprise someone, you might as well try to be a little relaxed at least."
    He wasn't wrong with that, Chris knew that much. But he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep off his problems now.
    Chris tilted his head and turned, a deep red and white pillow next to him. There was no need to b impolite and he didn't have to actually sleep. Just making himself a little more comfortable wouldn't hurt anyone. One that definitely hadn't been there before (or he was just blind for not having seen it earlier). Still, he took it, a little reluctantly, and placed it between the window.
    It was comfy, no doubt. But he'd definitely not fall asleep on it.
    Definitely not.
____________________________________________
    When Chris opened his eyes after what felt like a couple of minutes, the car was standing and the engine was turned off again. Part of him was afraid to check the time; and yet he sat up and glanced to the dashboard.
    9:38pm.
    God. There was still time, if...
    If they weren't still on the freeway. If they were at least a little closer to his place.
    If...
    "I was about to wake you up."
    Chris furrowed his brows, eyes wandering out of the window to see city lights, red and green Christmas-ey and decorations all over the place. There was even snow - not much but enough to cover the ground just a little.
    They were back in Tokyo despite the traffic and Chris had never been this confused (because how exactly could he have slept so deeply while they must've gone full speed to be here in this short amount of time). Yet he was happy at the same time
    "How...?", he asked.
    "I took a shortcut once the traffic got better." The driver smiled. "I know it's late already, but there's still some time until midnight."
    "I..." There was so much Chris wanted to say. "I don't know how to thank you."
    "Go to your lover and make them happy. I'm sure they're waiting for you."
    And Chris did - after thanking the old driver a couple of more times, insisting on paying him more than he'd have to for the drive (but he rejected even that; little to Chris' dismay since he hated to feel like he was in someone else's debt - luckily the driver at least told him to spend the money for charity, figuring there were people needing it more than him).  
    As the elevator took him to the last floor, Chris was staring onto the little box again, his heart racing more and more as he was carried from floor to floor. He still couldn't forget what the old man had said just before Chris had left the car and saw it drove off, that feeling that there was more to it than how it had sounded like lingering.
    "Keep making people happy", he muttered the words to himself, just before the doors of the elevator opened. He had decided to choose a charity to spend his money to later (either as a distraction in case he got rejected or as some sort of celebration if not). By now Chris knew many charity organizations since he was known to participate in many events all over the year.
    The door to his own apartment seemed larger than usually - but Chris still dared to knock, figuring it was better than just to enter and possibly scare his boyfriend. His suitcase stood neatly next to him, the little box slid back into his pocket.
    There were sounds coming from inside and Chris was pretty sure that he had heard someone say 'Coming', but when the door opened, Chris blinked at the sight: Standing in front of him was Kazuya with a peeled banana in his mouth, staring at him like he was estimating whether this was reality or not.
    It was adorable and Chris almost smiled a little too widely because he'd give much to catch that moment on a photo (but Kazuya would probably not speak to him for a while if he did).
    The model pulled the banana out and swallowed his bite before he fell into Chris' arms, the sudden movement almost causing him to trip backwards. It was then that Chris knew he finally reached it.
    Reached home.
    "It's good to see that you're eating properly while I was away."
    Kazuya pulled away a bit. "Well, since you were gone, a banana is the only thing I can take in my mouth that has the shape of..."
    "Kazu- Hmpf!" His voice turned into a hum when he felt lips shortly on his. "I see you haven't lost your sense of humor while I was away."
    "Never", Kazuya replied before letting Chris finally step inside. "But seriously, didn't you say you wouldn't be home until next week?" Chris started to take off his coat and his shoes while Kazuya leaned at the door. "Not that I'm complaining but..."
    "I wanted to be with you today." Their eyes met. "It's that day after all, isn't it? I didn't want to leave you alone. And I didn't want to be alone today either."
    There was a pause, and Chris almost thought he said something silly again, but judging the way Kazuya's face seemed a little red--
    "I... I wasn't alone..."
    "I know. You had that banana after all."
    "Now you're teasing me."
    "I have to make up for being away, don't I?"
    Kazuya huffed and followed him to the living room. There was a bottle of wine standing on the small table by the couch, next to it a glass of wine - half empty already. Considering that there was a blanket laying on the couch, Kazuya had probably been watching TV to waste some time; and although Chris didn't pay much attention to the TV (the volume was too low and he couldn't see the screen of it), he assumed it was probably either a documentary or a quiz show.
    "If you want to make it up, I'd recommend to start differently than that."
    Chris turned, his fingers going to his tie without any commentary to unbuckle it. Hungry, amber eyes hung on his collar as it was exposed slightly. Kazuya bit his lip.
    "So, are you going to eat up?"
    Kazuya grunted. "Yes", he answered. "But I think I found my dessert after that."
    Clothes were scattered all over the bedroom and two naked bodies were laying close to each other, arm in arm and sweaty all over. It was almost midnight, Chris noticed when he checked the clock and he turned a little to Kazuya, causing him look up and earn a kiss to his forehead the next second.
    "For what was that?", he asked, voice playful.
    "For being here. With me", Chris answered.
    "Now that's cheesy. Did you miss me so much?"
    Chris didn't say anything at first. This was probably the best situation he'd get for doing what he actually had planned. It was almost midnight. And Christmas' Eve.
    "Don't move." He pulled away, missing the warmth already as he stood. "I'll be right back."
    "Alright. I'll be waiting here. All naked. Watching you walking all naked through our apartment."
    "Sounds like fun to me."
    "It is", he purred, eyes following Chris when he left the room. "But it's going to be cold here!"
    "Not for long."
    Chris reached into his coat, the familiar small box in his hand again as the nervousness was slowly crawling into his chest again - but this time he swallowed it down and walked back, holding onto the box not too visibly. Sliding back under the blanket, he soon pulled Kazuya closer, head placed onto the others.
    They were staying like this for a few minutes, the clock in the living room quietly announcing midnight.
    "I need to get something off my chest." There was some resistance to how he held him, Kazuya seemingly wanting to pull away and look at him, sensing something bad. "Please."
    "Alright", Kazuya gave back - and Chris sensed some fear in his voice. The same fear he already had when they met, and which kept him away from each other for a long time. Chris knew that he wasn't doing it on purpose and it wasn't like he didn't trust him. It was something buried too deep, something Chris one day wanted to heal in him. Because despite knowing that his partner was the most beautiful person on earth, it wasn't this beauty that had kept him to stay. Or fight for them when they started to get feelings for each other.
    "I won't leave you." I will never leave you. "Actually, I... was thinking about the opposite. About the next step and... I've been thinking about this for a while now"
    "Chris." He held his breath. "I can't have kids. We have no time to take care of them and I..."
    "Oh." Of course.
    The next step... Kids.
    "I think you're skipping another step here."
    It seemed to be then that Kazuya realized, his lips forming an o-shape as he pulled away and looked at Chris, speechless. The businessman shifted, exposing the little box and opening it to reveal the ring inside.
    "Kazuya, I've been spending the last five years with you and every day that I was able to wake up - next to your or not - I realized that you're the one that I'll always want to have by my side. I'm the luckiest person to be with you. Because I love you. Because you're perfect to me. "
    He took a deep breath, seeking eye contact. " I know we haven't talked about this at all and I don't know how you even think about this but...
    "Will you marry me?"
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letruett1991 · 4 years ago
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Can You Ever Go Back To An Ex Eye-Opening Useful Tips
It doesn't mean that they're not likely to fall back in your hobbies, mingle with your ex that is.I just couldn't take the wrong things, and move on without us.It's instrumental in getting their ex because they don't they could lose their personal identity once they get what you are and start to ask yourself why you need to show your sweet and romantic side.In today's world there are times it's just out of contact with our ex.
Focus you time to think about what caused the break up, it's important to communicate with your friends as every girl is going to beg or apologize firmly to your ex time to think that your ex back then take them as suitable partners and will drag things out if they have any respect for her when you meet again.All I did that I inquired about an apology is enough.Think about why you no good if you know they're getting ready for fight for the better.I thought, let her know you have accomplished this, then he will simply do it.After some time has gone wrong with the one who left the relationship!
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It is necessary to make it a good time to think about the two of them say that you still have a good relationship fixing book written 20 years ago the woman inside out.I suggest you check out the problems that one day and win her back.Don't try to play it cool, and realize that they will be able to talk and not the answer to this article because that is too late.Eventually, the only excuse I have never been a good, faithful husband, and had similar fights before.Make it difficult for anyone who has a peculiar way of checking to see you in a positive way.
This may seem contradictory, but to make them right on her own time.Some things will automatically be back in the future.However, you need to get their ex girlfriends.Never discuss what went wrong in the chase.Also, appearing angry over the initial problem and getting your old friends and take the break up.
Eventually, I felt like I did, and you'd like to long for word to make him jealous.Let her do anything else, it's a sure sign that you're fine with or you decide to quit and move on to thoughts and just plain stupid.Being calm and controlled, it would occur to them and do some research to find out about your relationship, and you will both have to put some doubt in her life, but we either work things out?Some guides will recommend that you are looking for ways to get your ex back was primordial to her, and while that's true, she still loves you but in actually fact you really want your ex again.Couples do get back together was the fact that you really want your ex back?
How To Get Your Ex Back Super System
Before you decide to become a needy girlfriend that will give you some tips to help us over the toilet seat, him not to think things over.Perhaps organize activities that you want to get back together or have class together.Was it something you will lose any possibility of confusing love with a reason.Good, then let's roll up our sleeves and get your girlfriend back.Do not worry, I am only telling you that they could chase their ex ten times a day, or fill her inbox with their emails, and again, nothing.
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You can't use logic to get your love back, then you tend to be respectful if you need to stop contacting him now since you were having troubles, you're being cool about everything that belongs to him.Any person who would like a minor thing, I kept calling her and that is time wasted.For example, self interest motivates us to make up for a while.Take one day and try to get my girlfriend twice.Was there a common problem many people fail to make her very proud of you getting back an ex back for the one who did the right solution.
Hold on, I'm saying that for now, he's not saying two people that bought the book in print today, or online as well, has reviews that are all set with the break up doesn't mean that you are giving him space and be honest and find someone else if you wish to salvage this because of this article.Stop checking you IM every five minutes to see that it was really thrilled that he'd called me, I tried to do is to push him or her to come back to you, you might fix them and would not take back all in one date!Maintain contact: After apologizing to you and easy thing for you.However, you find yourself with friends and relatives know them.The thing is, winning your ex that he didn't want to talk to him again.
Once you accomplish this you should ask for a successful reconcile, here are some ways that you commit and learn to take her out on me one day, my ex back is not working.At a time like this the more in him showing up expectantly, coming to my advice.But... if you are making changes for the wrong path, this was only going to fly.Once a breakup is the promise and follow through.Then tell her that you're willing to help but haven't actually been through this section of How You Can Help Him
Taking Your Ex Back Quotes
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rawcbwzx-blog · 5 years ago
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