#we all need our fun purely self indulgent projects!

[pigeonclaw]

I had... such a hard time reading River of Fire. This book clearly has no sense for what it's trying to say or where it's going. Chapter lengths vary wildly (chapter 1 is 17 pages, chapter 9 is barely 5 pages and ends so abruptly) and any development for the characters is limited to an even more severe version of AVoS's usual problem —putting in a lot of short time skips and telling us afterwards that a problem was resolved off-screen, leading to a book that is almost entirely filler. (Funniest example is how a chapter-end cliffhanger was that Squirrelflight was one of the sickest cats in camp, and then in the next chapter some time has gone by and it's offhandedly mentioned that she's recovering well. She doesn't actually appear in a scene even once until after the plague is over.) I can feel the author struggling to find something to write about. And it's weird and sad to me because there actually is potential for a good plot here.

At this point, we've got a lot of cats struggling to find their place and fit into their homes: Twigpaw, Tree, Yarrowleaf, and sort of Sleekwhisker — she's ultimately a traitor, but still. All of these cats have a personal connection to Violetshine. She feels betrayed and depressed by Twigpaw going back to ThunderClan, she feels personally responsible for Tree because she found him and brought him here and — as is her typical pattern — she got attached to him really quickly for that reason, and she sympathizes with Sleekwhisker and Yarrowleaf but remains angry and distrustful towards them for their role in ShadowClan's dissolution and Needletail's murder. ShadowClan as a whole is just trying to get by and fit into SkyClan. This is a very unsettling time for both Clans, and for Violetshine in particular.

I would love for the plot to focus on this! Give me a book about Violetshine throwing everything into her friendship with Tree out of desperation to make someone in her life stay with her, spending time with Sleekwhisker and Yarrowleaf, and gaining some insight from her time with all of them about how hard it is to figure out where you belong when you don't really fit in anywhere and your loyalties are split between different groups. Bringing this understanding to her relationship with Twigpaw and learning to forgive her for leaving and trust her to make the right choices. Finpaw can also fit into that category of cats who are trying to fit into a new Clan. He and Twigpaw can be a great parallel/contrast to what's going on in SkyClan.

These elements are touched on only briefly — if at all — in the actual book and it's so disappointing. All relationships and character development are ignored in favor of devoting every single chapter to someone worrying about yet another vague and spooky prophecy and doing absolutely nothing about it. I'm with Jayfeather on this one — I'm sick of the prophecy.

A story is only ever as strong as its characters. This is why AVoS feels so weak to me — especially River of Fire — because the characters are not the focus. No matter how interesting they could be, they're always pushed aside. It's always about whatever prophecy of the day mentions the words "darkness" or "shadows" and ultimately barely matters.

[androgynousblackbox]

This Life We Build. 1 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Okay, so this is basically an AU of my Arranged Marriage AU. We can call it Fluffy AM AU lol This would take place after the epilogue in "How I Met Your Father", but I really think it would make it easier if you read the first chapter of "How to Lose a Lucifer in 10 Days". Only the first chapter, though! After that the plot starts off. Here, there is no plot or don't plan to. Just pure self indulgent fluff. Also! I reserve the right to make up any prompts I want and jump the timeline because, again, this is just for fun. Not all chapters may contain smut. [Day 1: Pregnancy test + electro stim]

Something was wrong.

Alastor knew it when the third attempted Overlord and their minions of the week came to try to prove themselves in front of the king that Vox had announced on their dumb boxes. He could still take them down without much of an issue, but this time, for the first time ever, he felt lightheaded when returning back to his original size. When he called upon his own minions to take care of the bodies, he stumbled one time on his own foot.

It was all Lucifer needed to appear at his side as soon he came inside the hotel.

"I am fine" said, instinctively, but the tiny angel was already pressing a hand on his forehead, that did felt warmer than usual.

It wasn't a fever, though. It was the heat of after doing exercise. For a few days now, it was taking him more effort than expected to use his magic. The first time he noticed it, he though maybe it was an issue with himself still needing to learn to regulate his own powers after coming back to hell, like how he had to adapt a new muscle to the use he wanted to give it. But even if that was the case, it would happen too with small task and it didn't. It was only when he needed to do something bigger or get into his full demonic form that he could feel the limit. Not to mention how he never had that problem right after falling, when the contract with Lucifer came into full effect. It was only on the past week or so.

"Cut the bullshit" Lucifer sighed, holding his cheek. "We are going to the Sloth Ring."

Alastor protested in principle. He was just hungry despite all the minions and their leader he just ate. He was just tired, freshly woken up from bed. A good breakfast could solve anything, there was no need to worry so much. Lucifer did not want to hear about it.

At the very least they didn't had to wait long. As soon Lucifer texted Belphegor, she went to look for them in the lobby and take them up to her private office. Sitting on her chair, Alastor looked up to the ceiling and then to the eight eyes in the goat face of the Queen of Sloth.

"It's not that serious" added in the end when he finished explaining. As Bel prepared herself to give him a quick exam, he shook his head to Lucifer. His husband haven't stopped looking at him with a slight frown the entire time. "My love, I am fine."

"Just for my sake then, okay?" Lucifer took his hand and squeeze it, his blue thumb rubbing the backside of his palm. For this outing he had changed into his blue shark demon look. Bel didn't have any issue to identify him directly and didn't even question the different form at all. But his voice was the same, the concern on his face was too Lucifer to hide. "I will feel better with this."

Alastor sighed. As if there was any way he could refuse anything now. But at least it had been made clear now that, if it was for him, none of this would be necessary. They barely even had time to tell Emily that they were going out for a bit before they were just gone.

"Get on the bed" said Bel, opening a curtain for him to pass inside. Alastor laid on top as Lucifer kept a hand over his shoulder. Bel's hands started to glow in purple as she passed them over his body, not touching, but still making him tense up a little. The only hands he allowed so close to him were his immediate family. Bel could count as extended one at the most. "How long have you been having this issue?"

"Not long" Alastor frowned, trying to remember. "Mmm, I want to say a week, more or less. 10 days max. That is why I wasn't thinking there was moment to get alarmed" said, sending a side eye to Lucifer. "It never impede me to do what I need to do."

"But it's there when it wasn't before" pointed Bel calmly, going over his legs extended. "That alone is worth checking to see what is going on. Luci did well. This could have escalated eventually and be harder to deal with" Alastor grunted, ignoring the satisfied smirk that Lucifer send him. Bel moved up his torso and continued, passing over both his arms and finally his head. All with the same blank sleepy expression of always, so surely she wasn't detecting anything that serious either. That is what Alastor was assuming until she spoke. "Mmm. I need another test. You can sit up."

She moved to a cabinet on the side, looking on the drawers.

"Any idea what it could be?" asked Lucifer, letting his warm hand on Alastor's back as soon he changed position.

"I have an idea, but I need to confirm it" Bel came back with a wide stick of light grey on her hand. "Put this into your mouth, over your tongue. It won't take much."

As Alastor did, resigned to his fate, that was probably goin to include rest, Bel sat on her chair again.

"How about you, Luci? You didn't feel anything different lately?"

Lucifer shook his head.

"Absolutely nothing. If something was happening with the girls, I think they would have told us already. So at least it's not contagious, right?"

"No, it's not" Bel looked at the clock on her wall and then at the stick of Alastor, slowly blinking as the extreme that wasn't behind Alastor's teeth started colouring on a soft lilac. When the whole things was painted, she extended her hand to grab it. Alastor growled low for a second before forcing himself to relax again, realizing that nobody was taking food out of him. "I see" she said, her eyes going big for a moment. But once that second was gone, they were back to their half lid default. "Luci, you never checked on his magic, right?"

"No" Lucifer frowned, immediately a sense of guilt sinking his eyes. "Should I?"

"It's best if you do" Bel nodded. "I can tell you now, you are not sick" added to Alastor.

Lucifer turned to him, taking the hand that he kept on his lap to ask for permission before. He nodded, bracing himself for he weird feeling of having his being naked in a way that had nothing to do with his clothes. The first time it happened it was such a shock he could only interpretate like an attack, but now it was just something different he couldn't quite prepare himself for even if he knew it was coming. The previously yellow eyes of Lucifer turned into red and looked at him, his gaze instantly landing on his abdomen. He tilted his head to a side.

"What?" asked Alastor, not really liking his silence.

"What is that?" asked Lucifer to Bel instead of answering.

"So you do see it" said Bel. Just when Alastor was about to demand what they were talking about, she looked up to him. "You are pregnant."

Alastor stared at her like she just spoke gibberish.

Lucifer blinked, his red eyes glued to the same spot a second longer before they came back to normal, seeing at Alastor.

"You are" said, breathless. "I can show you" added with urgency, squeezing the hand of Alastor in his again.

In front of Alastor's eyes it was his own silhouette, full with green magic in constant movement. On his stomach there was a glowing white spot that was also moving without losing that essential circular shape.

"That…" said Lucifer and his voice sounded so close to chocking up that Alastor squeezed him back. "That is a baby. Is a baby, right, Bel?"

"Yes" confirmed Bel calmly.

"How?" said Alastor, like it was the only word he was capable of pronnouncing.

"It's a magical pregnancy. Both of your magic must have combined when you both wished for a new child and made it possible. The reason you have been feeling tired so much it was because the fetus needed your energy to keep form. You were using even more magic that you thought at once. If you were a normal sinner it would have dissolved already without more magic from the father. I imagine that in a month or so that would have happened here too. If you want to keep it, it was a good thing you came now."

Alastor blinked and his vision went back to normal. He turned to Lucifer, the expectation on his face so pulled back that he had to reach out, cupping his cheek. The king exhaled sharply, as if it burned.

"What is that if about?" Alastor brought him closer, kissing his forehead. "Of course we are having it. Of course. Aren't we?" he hummed softly as he kissed the tears that started to fall from Lucifer's eyes. His silly king could get so worried over nothing. How could he even imagine for a second he was going to have any other response? "You wanted it too, didn't you? Why are you surprised?" teased lightly, nuzzling his temple.

Lucifer whimpered without words as hold him tight, burying his head on his chest as Alastor squeezed him tight back. A nice melody all around them was the only way he had to express how full and content he was, his body vibrating with radio static coming from his core.

Maybe it wasn't what any of them expected or planned for, but right at that moment that didn't matter at all. They were going to make it work, somehow. Just like they did for Charlie and Emily, they would do as well for the new addition to their family. They had everything they could need.

"Babe" Lucifer kissed his neck and went up until he found Alastor's lip, clinging him him like he wanted to imprint his presence there. "I love you" sighed, keeping his head close to pet his ears. There were streak of tears on his cheeks, but they were drying up and his smile was so much bigger now. "I love you so much."

Alastor laughed, a light and joyious sound that reverberated with radio noises, and kissed him back, his lips and his red dot and his neck as he hugged him again, stronger than before.

Bel stared at her wall, full of pills of every color in the rainbow. Either because she genuinely did not care or for giving them that moment, she didn't say a word until Lucifer adressed her again by wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up. She was like a rag doll, a doll that was bigger and taller than him, but the king did not mind at all.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" said Lucifer, laughing. "You have given us the best news ever, Bel! You are the best! How can I repay you?"

"You are welcome" said Bel calmly, somehow elipping an arm-tentacle from the grip of Lucifer to clumsily pat his head a few times. "I won't charge you, but you need to know a few things. If you let me sit I can tell you."

"Thank you" Lucifer giggled, giving her one final and especial kind of strong squeeze, before letting her come back to her chair.

If she were anything else but a Sin, they would have heard the sound of her ribs crushing already. Instead she just plopped down, fixing up her robe.

"Well?" asked Alastor when she just looked at the bed with a wishful expression.

Bel directed her eyes at him and pronnounced a little oh, suddenly remembering.

"Right. The baby needs the magic of both parents to keep growing. It's a similar process as what you did for Charlie already. Just one minute for week of magical transference should be enough. If you want to add more minutes it's fine, it won't hurt them. The magic will just go to the pregnant father if it's not absorbed by the baby. I can teach you a way to keep track of so you know if you need more."

Bel taught him a little sigil to know the level of magic the baby needed. After drawing it on the air, the color it glowed would be the status. For now the levels were at a dull green, out of danger, but it was best if they could do one as soon they could. It had to be a brighter green. If it was ever in red, that was their sign something was wrong already. Alastor could feel Lucifer tensing up at his side as his grip on his waist became stronger. He draw circles on his back to calm him down as Bel continue. They were never going to let it get anywhere close to red, that was for sure.

Since it was magical, and not entirely biological, Alastor was going to have significant less symptons than usual, but they could still be there. For that, there were pills. If he had trouble sleeping, there were pills. If anything at all was stressing him out, that wouldn't be nice for the baby, so there were pills. He could eat and drink whatever is that he wanted without worrying. Finally, she wanted to keep checking on the baby every month to make sure it was developing normally. It was exactly two weeks since the conception started so they would have to come back in other two.

Lucifer made some questions, to ease his own mind. Bel answered everything as succintly as she could, not minding to repeat it when Lucifer just wanted to double check. When all of their doubts were resolved, Lucifer hugged her again, thanking her for everything, and Alastor shook her hand. Once they were traspassed the portal to go back home, landing in front of the hotel, Lucifer had a bag full of pills hanging from his shoulder and the biggest smile he had in years.

"Oh, Charlie and Emily are going to be so excited!" squealed, opening the door to let Alastor in. "We have to tell everyone!"

As soon the door was closed behind them, Alastor pushed Lucifer behind a curtain with his tentacles. The little king let out a gasp before Alastor reclaimed his mouth, holding his chin up. He didn't know, but he felt possessive, as if needing to leave his mark all over the father of his unborn kid before letting the rest of the world even know that it existed.

"You heard the doctor, love" whispered, taking a hand of Lucifer. He guided his tentacles to open up his shirt from the bottom up, placing the warm palm of his husband above the fur on his stomach. His skin was still flat, as if nothing had happened, but soon that was going to change. He kissed Lucifer hungrily, sucking on his lips. The curtain was a heavy cover that wouldn't let anyone even know what they were doing, as long they weren't too loud, but even that could be handled with an easy spell from his own fingers. "Our baby needs his papa."

"How could I forget" Lucifer sighed, licking his own lips before bringing him down again, turning him around so now Alastor's back was against the wall. The hand that was over on his stomach slipped under his pants, his underwear, rubbing his mound of fur until Lucifer recieved a nod from Alastor. "How do you want it, baby?" asked, opening the pants of Alastor to pull them down. He gripped his ass between his fingers, mouth watering already. "Hand, tongue or cock? Anything for the good daddy."

"Hand" Alastor punctuated his response by taking the wrist of Lucifer and pushing it on his underwear, further ahead until he moaned with the intimate contact.

He looked over to the side of the curtain, controlling that nobody was getting in or out, but it was as deserted as it was when they left in the first place. If any force on the universe were interrupted them now, he was going to destroy them for the rest of eternity until there was nothing left. This was his little moment of celebration and was going to grab it with open claws if he had to.

"So wet already, babe" Lucifer grunted, pushing inside to his knuckles with two fingers. Alastor grabbed to his shoulders, shivering in delights as he rotted his hips, rubbing himself on the palm. Lucifer's chuckles was like the most pleasant grumble from his chest. "Does carrying my baby makes you like that? Are you going to be one slutty daddy for me?"

"Maybe" Alastor panted as the fingers kept moving, relentless. "You will have to make sure our baby keeps growing to find out. "

Lucifer's grunt came out with a bit of fire between his teeth. Alastor extended his legs further to get down on the wall, grabbing Lucifer by the back of his head to steal a smoky kiss, the tip of his tongue getting so warm as he pressed it inside Lucifer's mouth. For a moment both his tongue entangled on each other, one tasting of hell fire and destruction in such a way Alastor wanted to swallowed it whole, let it burn his insides as much as the fingers were driving him insane.

"Here I go" said Lucifer.

Alastor didn't know what was going, but then a warm, tingling sensation that had nothing to do with Lucifer's movement went up from his fingers to inside of him. His vision was changed again to show him his figure, his magic, and traces of golden magic that were taken out by the white spot inside of him. Everytime a new trace of gold appear, a new little shot of electricity made him jolt, vibrating.

It all lasted a couple of blinks and then he was looking again at the yellow eyes of Lucifer, brow furrowed slightly in concentration.

"Does it feel good?" asked Lucifer. "I can make it softer. Or stronger. You tell me."

"Stronger" Alastor braced himself, holding onto him when the big shock came. The sudden stimulation made him moan harder, one large sound that extended in the air. After that shock, Lucifer added a third finger and kissed his jaw.

"You are taking it so well, baby. You are such a good daddy already" Lucifer's voice smiled before he could see it.

Alastor nuzzled against his head and bite on his cheek down at the next shock, breathing sharply. This one went from Lucifer's fingers to his palm, immediately on top of his sensitive nub. He gave a strangled scream, mouth open, before furiously licking on the droplets of golden blood offered up to him. The sudden warmth of the blood, as if swallowing down whiskey during a blizzard, quickly extended to the rest of his body, making him relax again.

When Lucifer shocked him again, Alastor lost all strenght on his legs. As if sensing, or predicting it before then, Lucifer grabbed him from under his ass to keep him up as he finger fucked him through his orgasm. Alastor moaned, his voice rasping with each exhale, until Lucifer slowly pulled out. He bite down his own lip when Lucifer made a show of cleaning himself up with his tongue, sucking on each tip. Then the king reached out to kiss him, his own flavor and smell still over him.

"Do you think that is enough?" asked Lucifer in a whisper, barely moving.

"If not, I would be surprised" Alastor sighed. The bite on the cheek was already completely healed, so he kissed gently the zone and nuzzled him. "Do you want me to do something for you?"

"Later, at night" Lucifer smiled, petting his head, scratching around his ears. Alastor hummed satisfied, feeling his tail wagging at the attention. A little involuntary squeak came out of him. "You are so cute" chuckled Lucifer, kissing his cheek.

"Shut up" grunted Alastor. He took a breath and started to put his hooves on the ground again, when he remembered. "Darling."

"I know" Lucifer snapped his fingers. Alastor squinted his eyes when a quick and sudden surge of magic passed between his legs, cleaning up his underwear. "Better?"

"More decent at least" Alastor straighten up at last, pulling his pants to close them again. Next it was his shirt and last his suit jacket. He looked like always, but soon enough that was going to change. Another visit to the tailor, who would have to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to keep living. "I am going to need bigger clothes when I start showing."

"We won't have to worry about that for a while" assured Lucifer, holding his hand.

"Oh, I am not bothered at all by the idea" said, reaching down to kiss his forehead. "I can't wait" added in a whisper, leaving a caress on his cheek. "For now, we have an announcement to make, don't we?"

Lucifer perked up.

--

Five minutes later, Lucifer had conjured up a megaphone to spread his voice as far as possible through out the whole building.

"Everyone come in to the lobby to receive the best news ever that hell has ever heard about! It's nothing tragic or bad, I promise!"

The good thing of living so long around the king of hell was the ability to completely tuned out his loud shenanigans. Alastor sat down on the couch, patiently waiting for the residents and staff to start appearing.

"Is that fucking thing necessary?" grumbled Husk, covering his ears.

Once everyone was accounted for, Lucifer smiled big and cleaned up his hands on the air.

"Papa, what is happening?" asked Charlie, who despite the warning still looked worried.

"I just wanted to have all of you at once for this!" said Lucifer, enthusiastically moving to get the hand of Alastor on his and stand at his side. "We just came from visiting auntie Bel. I noticed that Alastor wasn't feeling too well this morning, so I got worried and had her test him out. That is how we find that…" Lucifer took a deep breath, like he haven't breath at all during the whole exxplanation. "He is pregnant! We are waiting for a baby!"

Almost everyone in the room instantly looked at Alastor for further confirmation of those words. It only took a simple nod from Alastor for the two princess to make loud noises. For Charlie is was a yell, as Emily squealed, running to hug Alastor.

"Am I am going to have a little sibling?!" Charlie already had tears on her eyes, not knowing what to do with herself.

Lucifer put a hand on her shoulder and nodded.

"Two weeks and counting!" said happily, lifting two fingers. "It's a magical pregnancy that could only happen because we both wanted it at the same time! So if you think about it, it was totally planned!"

Charlie babbled something that almost sounded like how happy she was and she hugged Lucifer, lifting him off the feet on one of the signature bone crushing squeeze she learned from him. The incontrollable sob of her, predictably, started causing a similar effect on Lucifer.

"Aww, sweetie" said first, before his voice was lost on the cries. It was a struggle to understand any of them as they talked over another. "I love your dad so fucking much, duckling, and I know our baby is going to be just as amazing as you are!"

"You are the best papa ever and I love you both so much, I am so happy for you!"

Vaggie sighed, patting the back of her girlfriend as she and Lucifer turned themselves into fountains. Emily looked upon them with a smile and kissed the cheek of Alastor, holding both of his hands as she kneeled

"I don't really have a lot of experience with this side of life. Or afterlife, I guess" commented with a chuckle. "In Heaven I never really saw a pregnancy up close, but I am going to learn as much as I can so I can help you out and be the best big sister I can be" promised, nodding seriously but with a happy smile on her face.

"I am sure you will, dear" Alastor kissed the top of her head. "There is more than enough time. I won't even start showing for a good few weeks."

"Showing what?" Emily tilted her head, confused.

Alastor was taken aback at that. What the fuck did they taught them in Heaven?

"Sweetie" said, gently, "do you know what pregnant means?"

"Of course I do, silly! Lucifer just said it means you are having a baby! That is very exciting."

"Do you know how I am going to have the baby?"

"By…" Emily blinked, thinking it over as a small crease was created between her eyes, "Huh. I guess it appears when it's ready?"

"Not exactly" Alastor took one of her hands and put it over his stomach. "The baby is already here, inside my body, but they are still too small. The more they grow up, this part of me will change to contain them. Then one day they are going to be big enough to get out my body and live here with us."

"Is that how it works?!" Emily's eyes were full of wonder at the new information. She pressed her palm down on Alastor for a second, looking to feel something, and then pulled out, suddenly scared. "Sorry, I shouldn't do that! I don't want to hurt them. Are they okay?"

Alastor chuckled, cupping her cheek.

"They are fine, dear. Like I said, they are too small so it's mostly just my own body now. You didn't hurt any of us."

"Oh" Emily sighed. "Good. I definitely need to read more on it then. How long are they going to be inside your body?"

"If everything goes alright, it should be nine months. That usually is how long it takes."

"Oh, that is really a lot of time. Like almost a year! Is there something I can do to help them come out sooner?"

Alastor smiled, petting her head. Internally damming all of Heaven again because how could let an angel live for so long in ignorance of a big part of human life.

"No, dear. They need that time to develop properly. Your father and I" said, looking at Lucifer, who for some reason had decided to include Vaggie on his hug. Now he and Charlie were sniffling on each side of the fallen angel, doing her best to calm them both "will take care of them to ensure that happens. For now there is nothing else to do but wait."

"I will still do my due research!" promised Emily, standing up to hug him again. "Do you need anything right now? Juice? Water? Something?"

Please, let not this be the start of all of their interactions becoming into this, begged Alastor internally.

"No, dear, thank you. If I want something, I can still get it myself. No need to fret so much" said, feeling relieved when Husk approched him. "Yes?"

"I am going to go ahead and assume that this is real" said, making a pointing gesture to Lucifer finally returning to the floor to recieve the congratulations of everyone else. He looked positively ectatic. "Not even you would be so fucked up to make a joke out of this."

"Why, thank you."

"And you didn't do a terrible job with Charlie either. Although a big portion of that was Lucifer."

"That is usually how parenting with a partner goes, indeed."

Husk took a deep breath and exhaled, as if saying the next part was taking a lot of him.

"I am just saying, when that baby comes out, I am not changing any diapers. Congratulations or whatever" said, turning around to return to the bar.

"Was that a positive interaction or a negative one?" asked Emily in a whisper.

She was still struggling with the nuances of hellish beings.

"Positive. I think" Alastor wasn't entirely sure himself, but he was going to take what he could. After everything that happened, that was probably the most he could get from Husk.

The winged cat didn't had the same reservations about congratulating Lucifer, going so far as to endure one of his hugs. With her eyes finally not leaking. Charlie came running to wrap her arms around him. Alastor patted her back and didn't mind when he could hear another tinu sniffle.

"I am so… so happy for you, dad" said Charlie, kissing his cheek. Her emotions were still on the surface, but at least she was in better control of them. "Are you okay now? Do you need anything?"

"That is what I said!" pointed out Emily.

"Please, don't" Alastor sighed, taking both of her hands. "Dears, I came back from a doctor who said I am fine. I was merely a little tired because the baby was absorbing magic without me knowing it. Now that we do know, we can take care of them adequately. Do no start worrying so much over me when there is no need at all. That is going to be Lucifer's job anyway."

"My job is what now?" said Lucifer, finally joining them.

"That you are going to be the one fretting over me from now on, darling, so the girls don't have to. Isn't that right?"

"Absolutely!" Lucifer perked up, sitting on the couch next to him and hugging him from the side. It seemed that he just had way too many hugs inside he needed to disperse all around. Alastor couldn't say that it bothered him too much. "You two just concentrate on being big sisters and leave everything else to papa! That is what I am here for!"

Charlie pouted, but then Emily grabbed her arm.

"Where is the baby going to sleep?" asked Emily.

Charlie gasped loudly, grabbing her cheeks.

"We can totally decorate one of the rooms of the hotel! And their room at the palace too! It's going to be the cutest room ever!"

As Charlie and Emily got invested on talking about what the room on their baby sibling could include, Lucifer kissed his cheek. Alastor hold onto the arm around his middle. Planned or not planned, he thought, this was okay.

[bingebuddie]

Status Update: August 2024

Hi all,

Life has been crazy, and it has been a while since I have updated my writing journey.

I know it seems like I have been MIA, but as some point, I'm going to start uploading stuff and boom, you will be overwhelmed with content.

I got myself into a situation where I had too many projects in flight. As you will see below, I still do. I have stopped publishing anything new, (unless its complete) until I catch myself up.

Recently, I have started to push something's to the side and streamline my focus. I'm not fighting my muse, whatever she wants to work on is what I am working on.

Wit that said, lets share an update on the projects I have been working on.

From The Ashes –

Wes and Cole's novel is really coming along. I can’t wait to finish it! Then I need to figure out how to publish it...

Sideways

Act 6 Into the Unknown

This arc has both been a love affair and a nightmare.

It is the longest part of the story to date. Updates have been slow because I refuse to push out something until I am happy with it.

I need to nail a lot of details for this work the way I want it to.

6.5 deals with the hearing with the LAFD and is the longest single chapter in the entire series thus far. Although this chapter is complete, I still feel it is messy and too long. I have thought about breaking it into smaller chapters that would be easier to read. But at the same time, I want that part of the story over with and done. I am working on editing out some things to make it easier to read and flow better.

6.6 is done, dusted, and ready to roll. Welcome to NY!!!

6.7 is my baby. It is my favorite part of the story to date. I made myself cry. I love you, Wes! The final draft is done… just checking dates and ensuring things work how they are supposed to.

6.8-6.12 There is a lot of fun and fluff for our crew while they are on the cruise until the shit hits the fan.

6.8 Final Draft

6.9 Final Draft

6.10 is another chapter that I am excited about. But again, there are a lot of details I need to make sure work the right way.

6.11 Fluff until the shit show …

6.12 Shit show… and home to LA… before the cliffhanger that sets up Act 7. Again, the cliffhanger does not center around our boys.

Act 7 Strong

I have said this before: This arc is emotionally heavy for Eddie. Eddie will need his friends and family like never before. There are a few people who shine as support for Eddie in this Arc… Buck, Wes, Maddie, and Tyler… (insert evil smile) This chapter is inspired by Strong by Romy and Fred Again  

In my mind, Buck is signing that to Eddie….

The outline for this is eight chapters… but that might go up… I have been working on part of this, and I have been working on smaller chapters to move faster… smaller chapters mean more total chapters but faster output…

Arc 8 Genesis …

Now for my other works…

Technical Foul -

In an effort to start to get past some of the awkwardness between them since the cemetery, Eddie invites Buck to the park with him and Christopher. A little basketball, some flirting, and an ill-timed visit from someone from the 118's past makes Buck's green start to show. Accidents happen, and Buck has some explaining to do.

Double Cross -

This fic is purely self-indulgent... Inspired by the video of Ryan sparing with one hand behind his back I had an idea of how that lead to Eddie telling Buck he could kick his ass with one arm tied behind his back and this was born. Fun, teasing, banter...

Shifted Part 1

Nevermore -

After the full moon reveals there is more to this world than some of them knew, the 118 face challenges they never saw coming. From lightning to Werewolves and all manner of things in between. Long-held secrets will come to light that could make or break one of the core relationships of the 118, that of Buck and Eddie. Is their friendship strong enough to survive? Will their relationship fall apart, or will they finally come together? The bonds and friendships of the 118 are about to be tested like never before. Can they put aside their differences and come together as a team and family, or will they fall victim to the mysterious being that is plaguing the streets of New York and eating the souls of their victims?

Chapter 1-20 posted. 21-30 coming soon. From a writing perspective, this is done… beta, editing all done. and I'm finally happy with it. I will post this after the summer is over. I have a solid idea for the sequel…

Would You Mind -

A four-day trip road trip to Vegas to celebrate Maddie and Chim's Bachelor and Bachelorette parties will alter Buck and Eddie's relationship for the rest of their lives. Featuring Drinking games, dancing, stripping, lap dances, couples' massages, poker games, and the highest stakes for our boys, their hearts…

Chapters 1-3 are posted, and the final chapter is done… Wedding in Vegas and drag brunch! Will get this uploaded sooner than later.

Like I said… Lap-dancing Eddie will return … In Sideways … Arc 7

I Don’t Want To Be Your Friend -

Eddie tries to figure out what is going on with Buck after the disastrous basketball game, while Buck tries to work through his feelings after Tommy kissed him. Both Buck and Eddie have some soul-searching to do to come to terms with their feelings once and for all.

I really want to get back to finishing this. I have it mostly completed, but I haven’t focused on it at all.

For more one shots of mine, you can go here.

WIPS

Future Shock

3 Part Series - Magic/BAMF/Mayhem/Found Family/Soul Mates/Redux/Ryan throw's the timeline into a blender and tada...

I have a lot of this plotted out… some chapters are written…, but I'm struggling to figure out what comes first. Do I show the future and then go back to the past and what led to it, or do I start in the past and then do the time jump…

As It Is

2030 and the 118 have been fractured since the lawsuit. When members of the team start to be picked off one by one, Hen, Chim, and Bobby have no one to turn to until friends and family return in their most desperate hour.

As It Was

Details what led to the fracturing of the 118. It is a retelling of Season 2 and part of Season 3.

As It Was Always Meant To Be

Now reunited, will the 118 be able to rally around each other, or will their painful past be too much to overcome?

This will be very large… I am unsure when I'll finish, but I have been spending time on it when I need a break from the other works.

DDD, aka Devastated and Destroyed Diaz…

This is my season 7 fix it …

I want to have this done before the fall premiere…

Part 1: With Every Heartbeat—

Eddie POV … Four simple words shatter Eddie's world. Eddie spirals after Buck comes out to him when the future he was sure he could never have suddenly become a possibility. 60% complete

Part 2 Stargazing –

Buck POV… Eddie’s gone… Well, he’s not gone; he’s taking some time to himself after Christopher flees to El Paso. Buck… he’s not dealing with it well… Harsh words are exchanged, and Buck and Eddie’s lives are changed forever. 70% complete

Part 3 Something To Hold On To –

Buck and Eddie POV’s … In the aftermath of a life-changing event, Buck and Eddie struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives… if only they had something to hold on to… each other.  Outlined

Five By Five -

Buck and Eddie have been through a lot over the years. What if there was more to their relationship than anyone else knew about. AKA how Buck and Eddie fell into each other's arms after each trauma.

Relationship Goals—

In an effort to rebuild their friendship after their recent relationships crash and burn, Buck and Eddie join a local hockey team along with some of Buck's old seal friends. This was pure fan service to myself and a way to get Buck, Eddie, Wes, and Cole to play hockey and not have to do it on Sideways. This currently sits around 60 pages.

Stolen -

A stolen kiss changes everything between Buck and Eddie... This angst fest is somehow incredibly soft... This is about 35 pages right now...

The Ties That Bind - Buck breakdown fic... This might get scrapped and merged into DDD from above...  Scrapped and merged into DDD

All I Want for Christmas—

Think Scrooged vs. It's a Wonderful Life vs. 911. This will not be posted until after the holidays.

There is also the Quarter Inch Killer fic and the Eddie Dexter fic. floating around in my mind...

Talk soon!

[idrilsscribe]

can I get BTS for any part of A Beautiful Poison?

A Beautiful Poison on AO3:

Writing this story was a personal catharsis for me. I pretty much exorcised my COVID19 demons into it.

The pandemic was a window into both the brightest and darkest aspects of human nature. As it wound down, I struggled to process all that. And what better way to work through Stuff than to mold it into a fanfic starring one's favorite blorbo?

Elrond is the light: altruism, kindness and persistence in the face of despair. The courage to do what needs to be done, even if that thing is hard, exhausting or unpopular. Valor without renown, and all that.

Tarlanc, his foil, falls to the siren song of a simple cure, an easy way out that will save nothing and no one but himself, and not even that.

I've never done as much historical research for any fic as I did for ABP. That, too, was therapeutic. Reading about historical plagues and the people who lived through them made me feel less alone. Humanity has gone through this before, and then, as now, we were being humans at our very best and very worst.

I cried over the quote from the 14th century Italian chronicler at the end of chapter 1 because his description of the horrors of he Black Death exactly matched my fear at the peak of the pandemic: what happens when there are too many bodies to fit inside the morgue?

Turns out that in the 21st century you can simply rent a mobile one, and so there was no tossing in rivers or dogs dragging bits through the streets. Even so, the best fictional horror is just this side of real, and the opening chapter was born. I'm still proud of how vivid and effectively terrifying it turned out.

Ancient alchemy, too, was a strange comfort. Orpiment and mercury and the Golden elixir, ... People of all times have believed in wacky and toxic cure-alls. Hydroxychloroquine, horse dewormer, and Facebook knows what else are just another iteration. There truly is nothing new underneath the sun. Somehow, that's a relief.

And then came the final fight, and I decided to just write an opulent horror scene and have some pure, self-indulgent fun. Elrond and Tarlanc duking it out in a pool of blood and poison, smashing the room to bits was pure stress relief, and a joy to write. (I'm aware that this sounds weird, said about a mutilation scene, but writing is a craft and I took a craftsperson's joy in trying to do it well)

Even a couple of years later I'm still proud of A Beautiful Poison. I think it's among the best things I've ever written and I'm always tickled pink when people mention it, so thanks for asking!

[illneverrecover]

trust my love | pjy

➛pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader ➛genre: librarian!reader, non idol!AU, Slice of Life!AU, fluff, humor  ➛word count: 2,343 ➛rating: E ➛warnings: I know we are shocked, but since this isn’t smut there isn’t many! Kissing, Making out in a library, Persistent Jinyoung. This is just softsoftcute. ➛summary: Jinyoung frequents the library in hopes of convincing you to go on a date on with him, but you’re not so easy to win over. Luckily, he’s not easily deterred. ➛notes: This is my piece for the Secret Admirer’s Project 2021 for @ksmutclub​! I’m a little nervous to post this because it’s the first time I’ve written about GOT7, however it was an honor to do so for @birbdae​. Thank you for playing along with my asks, Dae! It was fun to get to know you and I hope you like this! 🍒 Also shout out to my sweet sugar bb @taetaesbaebaepsae​ for beta reading and hyping me up, ily. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. ➛song: Trust My Love - GOT7 |  Love You Better - GOT7

“He’s here again."

Sighing heavily, you spin around, running your hands through your hair. Not that you cared what it looked like, of course. Why would you?  

“Is he headed this way?”

“No, it looks like he’s headed towards fiction, turning down..” Ara pauses, eyes scanning the room, “the literature aisle - classics, to be specific.” 

“Great.” 

Ara keeps her gaze trained on her mark, angling her body towards you. “What do you think he’ll bring you today?”

“As if I care,” you scoff, moving over to the restock cart and busying yourself by grabbing a stack of books to plop down next to your computer. You had already organized and prepped most of these already, but no one else knows that. “Believe it or not, my work day does not evolve around what’s-his-face showing up unannounced-”

“-his name is Jinyoung, and you know that-”

“-and I have important things to attend to. He’s just another customer, nothing else.”

You can feel her glare boring into your skull, but you refuse to give in to meet it. If you do, you’ll see the disbelief and frustration in her eyes, which will be an open invitation for Ara to give you yet another one of her famous ‘You Need To Live Your Life’ speeches, which you have no patience for today. 

She finally shrugs her shoulders, turning to grab the empty cart. “Whatever you say, dear. I’m off to get the books from the front drop off,” she glides away, the cart squeaking at her increased pace, “have fun with Jinyoung!” 

Closing your eyes, you inhale deeply, wondering how long it’ll be before the man in question comes striding up to your desk, a book tucked under his arm and a disarming smile in tow.

He had been coming into your library now for what felt like years, but in reality was only a few weeks. You aren’t sure what started his interest in you - his first day in your check out line had been a brief and altogether forgettable encounter - but since that day, he has come in three times a week like clock work. He always returns a book, spends anywhere between fifteen and twenty minutes pursuing the stacks, fingers dragging against the spines, seemingly searching for something. And then he finds you, regardless of what floor you are working and what your current task is, and chats you up while you scan his library card, shuffling him out the door as quickly as you can.

Conversation started off innocent at first, usually small talk about whatever read he had just finished and dropped off in the return box. You pride yourself on being polite and professional, even if it was clear he had other intentions. But it was when he began asking more about you, inquiring about your days off  that you felt your hackles raise. The next time he returned a book, he skipped the pleasantries, instead leaving you with a wink and a slip of paper with his phone number inside the pages, right next to the author note. 

‘Go on a date with me?’

Such a simple phrase shouldn’t have caused such havoc in your life, and yet here you were.

Your traitorous co-workers all though it was so sweet, so romantic how he pursued you. Nevermind that he had the face of the type of man who has done this before, who likely has a contact list a mile long of names attached to pretty women that would all fawn over him at a moment’s notice. Or the fact that he clearly came from money; his designer peacoats and dress shirts always crisp, clean, and the complete opposite of anything you owned. 

No, this wasn’t a budding romance - if anything, it was a classic case of a man who liked the chase, even if you refused to run. 

The clearing of a throat pulls you from your thoughts, eyes snapping to address the intruder. “Can I help you with something?” 

“Hi, yes you can. I’d like to check out this book, please.” Jinyoung smiles brightly, eyes dancing with mirth. He’s dressed in a warm khaki color sweater today, the tips of a white collar peeking out of the neckline and tucked into his perfect pressed slacks. He’s handsome, and you both know it. 

Seemingly catching you staring, he raises a brow in question, one that you promptly ignore. Instead, you hold out your hand impatiently, waiting for him to share which novel he’s going to try to use to impress you with today. When you glance down at the title, your eyebrow raises. 

“The Ghost Bride, hmm? Doesn’t really seem like your type,” you mutter, taking the book and flipping it to scan it. His library card awaits beside it, the elegant script of his signature seemingly taunting you. “Are you sure you didn’t mean to pick up something else? I can show you where the picture books are-”

“Nope, this was the right one. I’m just following your recommendations, you know. This was your pick of the week.” 

You scowl, swiping his card under the scanner before grabbing the automatically printed receipt, sliding his items back towards him across the counter. You had forgotten about the ‘See What Our Librarians Recommend!’ board that Mark had put up earlier in the week in an attempt to engage more with the customers. There hadn’t been much thought behind your pick other than it was one you enjoyed; getting immersed into other cultures and their traditions one of the easiest ways to relax your mind. But now you felt self conscious, like he was peering into your head. 

You shake the thought away, turning back to your screen. “Yes, I’m aware of that. Well, have a nice day, I gotta get back to work.” 

“Have you thought about the answer to my question?”

Jinyoung is still waiting at the counter, a small but earnest smirk tugging at his lips, eyes locked on to yours. If you didn’t know any better, you would think his curiosity was genuine with how he stared, how kind he was. 

But you knew better. 

“Yes, and the answer is no. I’m not looking to date right now,” you huff, breaking his gaze once more. There was something intense about how he looked at you, and it made your nerves dance under your skin. 

“May I ask why?”

Sighing, you close your eyes, counting the breath as you pull it into your lungs. What a loaded question. There were thousands of answers, a multitude of reasons why it was a bad idea to accept a date from the handsome stranger that frequents your library. Which would be acceptable to share; that you’ve had your heart broken more times than you care to admit, and don’t want to be hurt again? That you’re too immersed in your work and your goals that you don’t have time for a relationship? Or that you spend your days lost between the pages of books, delving into new worlds and reading about loves so pure and avowed that you know anything you come across in real life will be a disappointment?

Instead of those truths, you give him a tight smile. “Because I don’t know you, and you haven’t earned one yet.” 

There was an unspoken challenge in those words, but you didn’t care. You knew that Jinyoung with his pretty face and captivating charm would give up soon, and when that time came, you’d breathe a sigh of relief and continue about your life just as it was before he came in it. 

“I get it, you don’t trust me,” he looks down at his shoes, inhaling deeply before returning his amber eyes to you. “But I’m serious. I’ll prove it to you.” 

He stands there a beat more, as if he wanted to be sure you understood his promise before turning and walking away, giving a final grin over his shoulder. 

You should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy.

The harsh refusal of his proposal didn’t deter Jinyoung in the least, if anything, it renewed his commitment. He continued his visits to the library, this time determined to speak with you more, get to know you better. He had befriended Mark shortly into his endeavors and your traitorous coworker had told him everything he knew about you - favorite foods, your favorite color, sweets you indulged on when the mood was right. And Jinyoung had weaponized this information, bringing you Peruvian lilies  in the palest of lilacs, leaving tiny boxes of nougat de montelimar on your cart on top of the books for you to find. 

Each time he came to your check out line, he was prepared with a new book and more questions, always briefly discussing his thoughts on the novel before peppering you with inquiries about anything from mundane preferences to how your parents were doing. 

The most infuriating part was it was working. The once practiced guard you had built around yourself slowly coming undone piece by piece, day by day as Jinyoung gave you patient smiles and cheeky winks. Your heart was softening to his antics, and soon you caught yourself thinking about what a date with him would be like, how being the sole object of his affections somewhere that isn’t covered in a fine line of dust and doesn’t smell like old books would make you feel.

It’s this train of thought you’re lost in when he strides up to your counter, another book in his arms, face lighting up once he sees you. 

“Hi, beautiful. Just this for me today,” he murmurs, placing the book he selected directly into your hands instead of on the counter as usual. 

You didn’t have to look at the cover to know which novel he’d handed you, the story itself being so familiar that you could recognize it by the weight of it in your hands alone. “You’re telling me you haven’t read The Great Gatsby before?”

He chuckles then, head ducking down sheepishly. “Ah, it was one of those we had to read in school ages ago, but I don’t really remember it. I wasn’t as into books back then.” 

You nod, remembering how your peers didn’t seem to be as obsessed with reading as you had been. “That’s fair. This is one of those that the meaning tends to be lost on a bunch of teenagers, anyway.” Scanning the book and his card, you place it back in his open palm, feeling like you were giving him a tiny piece of your heart.

“I decided to give it another shot - since it's your favorite, and all.” 

Warmth spreads in your cheeks and you wonder briefly if he notices the way you fight a smile. It had been a passing comment, something said while he watched you restock the non fiction section one afternoon, but the fact he remembered caused something in your chest to ache. 

“Well, let me know what you think. I mean, if you’re able to follow along, that is.” 

His slow smirk transforms into a beaming smile, his face softening as he tucks the novel under his arm. “I think I’ll manage. I’ve been able to keep up so far,” his gaze drops to drag over your form before meeting your eyes. “And I’ve been loving every minute.”

He wasn’t talking about books, and the thought had you floating on air for the rest of your shift. 

That night, when you’re safely tucked into bed and far away from the library, you grab the wrinkled slip of paper and type Jinyoung’s number into your phone.

The metal of the old bookcase was ice against your bare skin, back arching up as you lick into Jinyoung’s mouth. What started off as a gentle press of lips in the back stacks of the reference section quickly intensified when his tongue sought yours, the kiss hungry and dripping of pent up desire. 

You hadn’t planned on anything happening, only wanting the abandoned aisles so that you could accept his date offering without your coworkers lurking, not wanting to do it over text. However you didn’t account for Jinyoung’s excitement, the way he looked like he won the lottery when you told him before swiftly backing you into the shelves in a heated kiss - not that you’re complaining. 

His body is firm as he presses into you, hands cupping your cheeks in a gentle way that offset his fervent exploration of your mouth. You melt under his touch, body seeking him like a moth to flame, unwilling to leave his warmth.

“Jinyoung,” you breathe, pushing him away from your lips. “We probably shouldn’t do this here.”

He chuckles, a hand snaking around your waist to tug you close once more. “Probably not. But you have no idea how long I’ve been dying to do that.” 

“Do what? Fondle me in a dusty library?”

He shakes his head lightly before leaning in, his mouth inches from your own, the look in his eyes seizing the air in your lungs. “He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God.”

Swallowing thickly, you ignore the painful gallop of your pulse, the way your defenses seem to crumble each time you’re in his presence. You don’t tell him how much it means to you that he didn’t give up, that he did all of these things just to earn your trust. That he put in so much effort to learn everything about you, took time to memorize the lines from your favorite novel just to make you smile.

Instead, you look up at him through heavy lashes, an easy grin on your lips.  “Did you just quote ‘The Great Gatsby’ at me?” Giggling, you swat his arm. “That was a little cheesy.” 

Jinyoung just meets your gaze, says everything with how he peers into your eyes without saying anything at all. “It only gets better from here, trust me.” 

[qwanderer]

What makes a Loki a Loki?

Loki is called upon to be a lot of different people. He’s been raised on Asgard, and that’s formed some of the more basic aspects of his personality and values, but at the same time he has attributes that have been consistently discouraged and pushed down by that culture, and we can see them step forward as he moves into situations where they are encouraged.

Throughout the canons, there are a lot of Lokis. Siege Loki, Lady Loki, Kid Loki and his murderer, Ikol, King Loki, and the God/Goddess of Stories. The earlier aspects I know only by secondhand information, but I’m very familiar with Loki from Young Avengers and Agent of Asgard, some of my favorite comics of all time. But I know some basic facts - the way the earliest Loki was a quintessential comic book villain full of pure simple theatrical mischief and ridiculous schemes, the fact that Lady Loki was a somewhat more sinister appropriator of bodies for her own use.

In my view, MCU!Loki has, at the very least, the same capacity to shift personalities depending on the circumstances, and I haven’t yet seen anything in the Loki show that’s thrown my suspension of disbelief with regards to his characterization.

I’ve seen some people rebel at the idea of Loki gleeful over the destruction of Pompeii and the causing of chaos it allowed, but it reminds me of some meta I wrote very early on in my years of meta-writing in the MCU. The values Loki was raised with, Asgardian values, sometimes treat death very lightly, especially death in battle, especially human or otherwise non-Aesir death. In the Aesir context, at least to a certain extent and certainly in terms of what we’ve seen Odin teach his sons onscreen, violence is honorable, fighting is an adventure, lives are cheap and Valhalla is the ultimate goal.

I think a lot of the central conflict of Loki’s character is that he follows some of these principles to their logical conclusions in situations that Aesir values never meant them to cover. If life is unimportant, then it won’t be so bad if I tell Thor that Odin is dead. If the throne of Asgard has dominion over all the Nine Realms, then why shouldn’t I rule Midgard?

But he also shifts the way he acts to suit the situation. He is a shifter, it’s what he does. On Asgard, he is expected to be a warrior, a dignified prince, a companion and support for his brother. The values are bravery and dignity, and so a lot of what he projects there is bravado and elegance, which are close enough for him to get by.

When he is taken by Thanos, the only things Thanos wants and values are power and death. So Loki becomes an avatar of power and death. He carries that with him to Earth, because he is still very much under the jurisdiction of Thanos. But he very quickly learns how to use and manipulate Earth values, like wit and pathos. They seem to fit him better than the others, and he carries them through the other movies and the different frameworks he finds himself in.

He also tends to carry Asgard with him, the knowledge that he’s a prince, destined to be a king, that he needs to carry himself a certain way, with that elegance, dignity and bravado.

When I see Loki in the first episode of the show, I recognize him as some of the deepest, most quintessential parts of Loki that have only been allowed to peek out on occasion before. And that is due to manipulation on Mobius’s part - Mobius makes it very clear what he expects of Loki. To get down to the very basic levels of him and find out his motivations, what makes him fundamentally himself - “What makes Loki tick?” There’s a quiet void there, and the only thing that’s being asked of Loki, for once, is that he sit down and fill that void with words - the truest and most sincere words possible.

There’s a clear and interesting divide between that phase for Loki, and the phase we see in episode two - Mobius has stopped providing that space, and in the interim, he’s made it very clear what he expects Loki to be like, what mold he’d prefer the trickster to fit into.

The hard-working, lovable scamp.

Loki is hiding his deepest self again, which we all do most of the time. Loki can’t feel that deeply and express that freely all the time. Because of the environment he’s in - which may not be any more or less free than any of the other environments he’s experienced - he expresses himself in a particular way. He is the hard-working, mischievous scamp Mobius has been pushing him to be.

I don’t think he’s any more or less himself than he’s ever been - he’s simply responding to different pressures. And the pressures of this episode press him very hard into the Neal Caffrey mold. Which is an interesting mold in itself - when I was writing White Collar fic, I made a point to distinguish who Neal was when he was with Peter and who he was under different circumstances - prison, witness protection, with Mozzie, with Kate. (I wrote an autistic Kate, and had him most freely himself when he was with her.)

Like Neal Caffrey, the Episode 2 Loki is treading a line between behaviors that will get him things because he’s useful and compliant, behaviors that will demonstrate that he’s into minor trickery for fun now and might not be getting up to anything bigger, and those bigger tricks that are definitely still running in the background. It’s the obvious balance for a trickster on a leash with an indulgent bureaucrat.

You can see that it’s a facade in the way that he is near tears when he sees the Ragnarok paperwork, but when he brings it to Mobius’s attention and Mobius expresses his sympathies, Loki says “Yes, very sad,” and then dismisses it in favor of moving on to his mischievous enthusiasm over the resulting theory he’s had.

Like all good lies, it’s built out of truth, so when I see this Loki, I see pieces of the Loki I know, just put together a little differently, which is how Loki seems to do it.

Although he’s not free as he might hope to be, and in fact threading a narrow path between a very constricting set of pressures, I do still think he’s enjoying the dropped expectations of dignity and elegance. I think he’s enjoying being in a culture that encourages him to be a geek. To go on about the things he’s passionate about and his areas of expertise. And I think that’s a lot of what unsettles people about this Loki, because that elegance and dignity have carried everywhere else with him. And I’m not going to argue that the TVA are doing anything nice for him - quite the contrary - but I still do enjoy seeing him able to be the geek he’s always had the inclination to be, in the right circumstances.

It makes me wonder, a little, how much his mother is on his mind right now, after the first episode, because if I had a guess, the last time he’s felt free to be this enthusiastic and expressive about his interests is in magic lessons with her as a child.

So. The other variant.

We know from the Lady Loki comics arc that Loki can possess other people’s bodies over the long term, and we know from kid!Loki and his murderer interacting in YA that the original occupant of a body can sometimes hang around and talk back, if only as a figment of his imagination. We know from most incarnations that Loki can go to a lot of dark places if the circumstances push him to it.

As I’ve said before, I’m intrigued by the question the difference between the two variants poses - how much different can two Lokis be before they are no longer meaningfully the same person?

We’ve got clues on both sides, of course - our scamp on a leash saying “I wouldn’t do this to myself” on the side of them being not the same person, and the vengeful goddess he’s chasing saying “I was afraid they’d found a better version of me” on the side of them being the same person.

The more I think about it, the more I’m willing to predict that this vengeful goddess is, in some way, an incarnation of Loki. But (be warned, I’m going to reference Stephenie Meyer now) it could be in as small a way as something out of The Host - a stolen body’s original personality fighting dirty against the invading spirit.

If this is something based on the character of Sylvie from the comics, it could still be anything from a person - human or Asgardian - chosen and manipulated by Loki to do his bidding, to a full-on possession, or even a body constructed for a specific purpose but developing its own personality traits.

We know this variant is a body hopper, and Mobius’s briefing mentioned that it’s an inherent ability of most Lokis to shapeshift, so there are a lot of potential explanations for this unfamiliar shape.

But the differences between the variants could also stem mostly from different experiences.

The only thing I’m at all sure of is that this variant has also been tortured by Thanos. It’s possible that she branched earlier - that the wild desperation of having freshly escaped Thanos translated into being dragged into the TVA like a cornered wildcat, on the raggedy edge and desperate enough to go all-out to get out of the collar while still in the custody of the minute men. Then, as she became familiar with the TVA in concept and execution, developed opinions and built a personality around taking them down, taking them apart the way she wished she could do to Thanos, the way Thanos did to her.

But she could also have branched later - after the destruction of Asgard, or when Thanos appeared on the refugee ship. After the worst has happened to her people. With some preexisting notion that time could have gone differently, that some things that had happened should not be allowed to happen.

I have a weak spot for interactions between incarnations of Loki in the comics, so I am incredibly eager to see the MCU’s take on this.

[fullmetalscullyy]

tysm for the tag @hanamuri and @roseofbattles i appreciate it friends <333

How many works do you have on AO3? 86

What's your total AO3 word count?  1,462,725 😳

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. royai collections - rated: m. just a big ol’ collection of royai oneshots grouped together. idk how i ended up with 100 chapters of random oneshots haha i never imagined i would get that far w them but it’s so Neat seeing all of them compiled together

2. the way it was - rated: m. family royai, royai!kid, canon divergence, “what if riza never joined the military”. my babie. my child. this was a long process to work through but it was so much fun to play about with canon events where royai are married, have a kid, and how much things may change for them both. i think this is the one i’m most proud of overall. so much effort was poured into it. for years this fic was an idea i wanted to tackle and i’ve never felt peace and satisfaction quite like it when i wrapped it all up at the end

3. let you love me - rated: t. family royai, royai!kid, modern au. another one that is dear to me and has been for a long time. i have a playlist for this fic and whenever i listen to it i’m taken right back to the late summer/autumn i worked on it. the vibes are exquisite. this au was pure self indulgence, giving riza a kid and having roy move in next door to them both and royai slowly falling in love <3

4. hit and run - rated: m. historical au, enemies to lovers, basically riza being kickass and amazing w a Neat slowburn, if i do say so myself :)) this is another one i love to pieces and it comes a v v v close second to being my absolute fave story i’ve ever written. the idea was sparked by a trip into edinburgh old town’s ~haunted~ vaults and it was such a joy to write and draw on that experience for the setting. the vibes were perfect

5. closer - rated: t. ~drama central~. this ended up being much more popular than i imagined it would be lol i wanted to dabble in the OC, Jealous Girlfriend trope bc why not and sometimes we all need a wee bit of melodrama in our fic reading/writing lives <3

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? yes!! i love reading comments and people’s thoughts on what i’ve written omg they make my day every time. i want them to know their kindness is v much appreciated. even if it takes a while for me to get round to it bc of life, i will defo reply eventually!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? hmm idk i think all my fics are angst w a happy ending at the very least, apart from a few hurt/no comfort oneshots. for multi-chaptered fics i always tend to go with the happy ending. idk if i would have it in me to write a really angsty ending for a long fic haha

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? hmm. there’s a few haha. probably the majority of my multichapter fics. so, i’ll choose the happiest fic in general, which has to be my inferno. pure, happy vibes and good times. singer riza killing it and pursuing her dreams while famous bf roy is nothing but supportive and her biggest fan

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? no, i have not yet dabbled in a full blown crossover but idk if i ever will

Have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah lol

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i did a few years ago but nothing for a long time

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i’m aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated? i’m not aware if anyone has gone ahead with translating anything. i did get a few questions about it last year (? i think) but idk if they ever did it

Have you ever co-written a fic before? yesss they’re so much fun!! i love working w my friends and creating new things!! i’m always down for it

What’s your all-time favourite ship? royai and msr baybeee

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? hmmm i would say txf royai au but. i’ve not even started it yet ;___; i really want to tho i just know it will take A Lot and i just. don’t have it in me atm. or the time in general. however, i am determined and won’t be so easily beaten. that’s another project i’ve wanted to do for years so one day i’ll get there

What are your writing strengths? i think writing soft royai. people seem to like my soft royai fics :’) and writing aus. i really enjoy working on aus and creating a new world for royai to run around in and be in love. i would like to think the worlds and plots are interesting enough for me to consider them a strength haha 

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmMMM. (there’s a few but) descriptions of places the characters are in i feel like i lack a lot, but i am aware of it and if i was to tackle a big/long plot again that would be something to focus on improving. i could defo include more introspection but also. sometimes i just need to work w the vibe and not go that deep. it takes a lot out of me, however, i just need to practice!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i’ve never done it but i have been learning scottish gaelic for the last year and a half and i would love to be able to incorporate it in a fic somehow, but idk if it will ever be able to tie w a royai au haha. idk maybe i’ll just rewrite canon w them all speaking scottish slang that’ll be easy enough. edward elric @ truth: square go mate. @ viz media hmu for that translation anytime 

What was the first fandom you wrote for? the x files

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? hmmm for the longest time it was let you love me and while i still love it, i think it’s been beaten by the way it was and hit and run. i really can’t pick between the two of them. i’m a simple gal, i love riza and royai!family <3

tagging @firewoodfigs @tsaritsa @megthemighty @bringingglory @nightofnyx8 @niconiconina @vadeofspades but no pressure ofc <333

[buckyodinson]

A Date in History (Frankie Morales x Reader)

Summary: you and Frankie go on a date to a museum, and softness ensues

Word count: 2k

Warnings: FLUFF, softness all round, Frankie being a complete nerd in the museum, like just complete sweetheart Frankie Morales

A/N: I’ve spent all week doing research for my dissertation (which is about the importance of museums for children’s learning), so I’ve been reading a lot of articles about how great museums are! I, myself, am a massive museum nerd, and I go all the time to all the different museums in London, and after all my reading, I had a thought about how cute a museum date with Frankie would be, and then this happened! This is pure self-indulgence, and I hope you enjoy! And this photo just gives me Frankie vibes too so here!

There was a chill in the air of your bedroom when you awoke. The sunlight seeping through the curtains was warm on the little sliver of exposed skin it touched, but otherwise, the bedroom was pretty cold. You wrapped yourself further into the sheets and as you turned over, you were met with an empty bed. You frowned as you realised Frankie must have opened a window somewhere and that’s why you were so cold. You laid eyes on the clock on Frankie’s bedside table and groaned at it’s mocking numbers, reading a bright 8:03AM.

Too early to be awake on a Sunday when you had nothing to do.

You were roused from your staring match with the numbers by a low humming out in the hallway. Frankie soon appeared in the doorway holding two mugs, smiling warmly at you. His hair was sticking out all over the place and you couldn’t help but mirror his expression. If you had to be up this early, at least it was with him.

“Morning sweetheart.” he murmured as he carefully climbed into bed, waiting for you to sit up before he handed you your mug. He planted a ghost of a kiss on your lips as you took the mug from his grip. You wrapped your hands around the mug, sighing at it’s warmth, and you heard a rumble of a laugh bubble in Frankie’s chest as he watched you.

“It’s a Sunday, why are we awake so early?” the end of your question trailed off into a yawn and you gave Frankie a pointed look as if to say ‘see - it is too early’.

“Because we have plans.”

“We do?” you wracked your brain, staring down at the drink in your mug as you tried to remember what past-you had stupidly agreed to do on a Sunday morning.

“Well, not exactly. But I was hoping to take you out on a date today?” his sheepish smile warmed your heart more than the drink currently in your hands.

“A date?” you squinted your eyes and smiled into your drink.

“Yeah, if you’re up for it?”

“I’d go anywhere with you, Frankie. Even if it is early on a Sunday.” you shuffled closer to him and dropped your head on his shoulder, feeling his own head rest softly atop yours a few seconds later.

“So where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.” you swore you could hear the smirk on his face, and you couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach. You felt young again, like when you and Frankie first got together, and you’d take the other for surprise dates whenever you could.

You chatted aimlessly in bed for a little while longer until you both finished your drinks, before taking a shower together and getting ready.

“Do I need to dress up or is it a casual place?” you called out to Frankie in the bathroom, as you mulled over two outfits you’d laid out on the bed.

“Wear whatever you want, sweetheart!”

“That doesn’t help!”

He chucked as he came into the room shirtless, wrapping his arms around you and dropping his chin to your shoulder. He studies the two outfits for a moment before pointing at the more casual one, “That’ll do.” He presses a kiss to your cheek and walks back to the bathroom to carry on getting ready.

Once you’re out of the house, you walk down the street to the local cafe you both love. It’s a sweet little family-run business, and you’re both friendly with the owners, who are always happy to see the pair of you. You have a nice little breakfast, with you still trying to get Frankie to tell you where he’s taking you. He just smiles as he shoves another forkful of pancakes into his mouth, chuckling softly at the glare you give him.

Once you’re back out on the street and walking around again, you try to make sense of the nonsensical direction Frankie is walking you around in as you chat.

“Where are you taking me?” you pout your lips and give him puppy-dog eyes.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t have anywhere in mind.” he gives you a boyish smile.

You give him a quizzical look and he carries on, “I just thought a day out would be fun. See where our feet take us. We can go back if you want to?”

“Of course not, Frankie. I’m very happy to carry on wandering around with you.” you lean up to press a kiss to his lips before you carry on walking the neighbourhood.

You stop quite often to take pictures of pretty things you notice, though you’re sure your camera roll is more selfies and candids of Frankie than the actual sights you saw. And if you looked at Frankie’s camera roll, you’d see a bunch of photos of you too.

Sometime in the early afternoon, you turn a corner into a much busier street than you’d experienced all day. When you followed the crowd, you came upon a museum. You gave each other a ‘why not?’ look before climbing the steps to the entrance.

And it turned out to be the best decision. Frankie had the biggest grin on his face as he took in all the fossils and skeletons that were on display as you walked through. He was more excited than the children who were running around the exhibits, and it brought the biggest smile to your face to see him so intrigued by everything. He’d read every little bit of information next to different objects, pointing at things he found particularly interesting.

You accumulated so many photos of him deep in thought as he looked over old fossils or with a beaming smile as he looked at some kind of reconstructed dinosaur skeleton. There were different interactive things in the exhibits - that you’re sure were aimed at children - that you took part in. You took selfies in some of the hats and period-accurate costumes there were to try on, giggling as you tried to keep straight faces to match the ones in the paintings.

You even sat and listened to a talk (again, mostly aimed at children) about how the excavation process works for digging up very fragile objects. The same wonder was still present on Frankie’s face, and it made your heart swell. He seemed so content to just stay in the museum all day, and you were more than happy to do the same, so long as you were with him.

As you explored more of the exhibits, holding Frankie’s hand tightly, all you could think about was how you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him. Yeah, getting dressed up for fancy dinners could be fun, but this was so much more you. Getting to walk around a museum and have fun all day perfectly encapsulated everything about you and Frankie. It’s the simple things in life.

Doing stuff like this for the rest of your life sounded perfect.

And evidently, the same thoughts were running through Frankie’s brain as you explored. As the evening approached, the crowds around the museum died down, and the exhibits got much quieter. Frankie grew a little quieter himself as you reached the space section of the museum, but you didn’t think too much of it, assuming he was starting to grow tired. There was a little planetarium room you assume is meant for small groups of school children to explore, and you and Frankie were the only people in there as you looked up at all the screens and projections. He let go of your hand briefly to point up at one of the constellations, and you laughed as he made a joke about it being inappropriately shaped.

But then you turned around to find Frankie down on one knee with a small box in his hands, and you gasped, tears already threatening to fall at the look of pure adoration on his face, which was only highlighted by the soft hues of the lights dancing in the room.

“I’ve known for the longest time that you were the one for me. The years I’ve spent with you have been the best of my life. Undoubtedly. I’ve done terrible things in the past, and I still don’t quite understand what you see in me,” he lets out a breathy chuckle, and you can hear the nerves in his voice as it falters slightly, “But I’m a better man because of you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and prove that I’m worthy of your love. So... Y/N, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world - or I guess universe is more fitting right now?” he gestures to all the projections still playing around you, biting his lip as he waits for your reply.

“Of course, Frankie.” you choke out a sob and nod your head frantically as he takes the beautifully dainty ring out of the box and slips it onto your finger. A perfect fit. He stands up and pulls you against him for the most bruising kiss you think you’ve ever shared. You pull away and berate him briefly for the ‘worthy’ comment in his proposal before pressing a kiss to his nose.

He pulls back, beaming, and lets out a deep breath, “Thank God.” he chuckles as he rests his forehead against yours. 

“Were you nervous?” you smiled warmly up at him as he wiped the tears from your cheeks, and the action makes you realise there are tears in his own eyes too.

“Are you kidding me?! Of course I was, sweetheart. I was worried you’d say no.”

“Never in a million years could I say no to this face, Mr. Morales.” you scratch at his scruff and laugh at the groan that rumbles in the back of his throat.

“Lucky me.” he pulls you in for another kiss, pulling your body impossibly close again.

“Mrs. Morales. I like the sound of that.” you smirk as you pull back.

“Me too...” he holds a hand out for you to take as you start to walk out of the planetarium, “... me too.”

You’re walking down the corridor towards the exit when you hear someone shouting from behind you “Wait!! Please! Excuse me?!”

You both turn to see a young girl in a shirt with the museum logo jogging towards you with an envelope in her hand. She catches her breath as she stops in front of you, sheepishly holding the envelope out for you to take.

“I hope this doesn’t come off as creepy, but the planetarium is rigged up with cameras so we can take pictures of the kids that they can take home. And I was getting ready to power them all down when I saw you two in there. Once I realised what was happening, I managed to grab some pictures of you.” she smiled nervously as you opened the envelope.

You were floored at the photos inside. There was one of Frankie on his knee before you’d turned around. Then one of you once you saw him, the shock evident on your face. Then closer up shots of your faces. And you kissing. And finally, you pressed against each other with your foreheads connected, looking into one another’s eyes. All of them were stunning, due to the projections and soft hues of blue and purple of the planetarium.

You felt a new set of tears threatening to fall as you looked over them, “Thank you so much. These are beautiful.” you didn’t miss the way the younger girl relaxed at your words. You chatted with her briefly and she took your email address so she could send you digital copies of the photos too. You definitely gave her a hug before you and Frankie left too.

By the time you walked back home, they were sat waiting in your inbox, and you stuck the physical copies up on the wall of your living room before retiring to bed for the night.

It’d been a long day, but you definitely weren’t mad at Frankie for making you get up early on a Sunday anymore.

Masterlist

Permanent taglist: @castieltrash1 @fioccodineveautunnale @mrsparknuts @fleurdemiel145 @hp-marvel-starwars-kotlc

While you’re not on a taglist as such, I hope you don’t mind me tagging you @softpedropascal because I know you love some soft Frankie!

(please message or ask if you want to be added to or removed from a taglist!)

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 21

Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:

More than 200 movies

32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups

27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks

13 podcasts

12 books

2 concerts

There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like: 

2 podcasts

2 albums

5 vampire movies

A conversation between two GOATs

A very funny dead guy

A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance

Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed

Here’s to another year!

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Jungle Cruise (2021)

Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)

Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.

4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)

My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.

5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their  career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Twilight series (2008-12)

I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous.  But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10

7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny

You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways. 

8. Wimbledon (2004)

Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. Career Opportunities (1991)

This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10

10. First Blood (1982)

Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

August Critic Picks

1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)

You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude. 

2. Gene and Roger (2021)

Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.

3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)

Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.

4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)

Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!

6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

7. Respect (2021)

While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)

At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!

Also in August…

This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls.  Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?

The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.

Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Two Gods, One Braincell

Kagami goes on a self-imposed quest to save a terrible place from meeting its timely demise.

Chapter 1: Here There Be Dragons

Summary:

Now leaving heaven:

A cat has joined your party.

---------------

Kagami rolled among the clouds, riding the jet streams of the upper sky. Her long snake-like body glinted scarlet and gold in the late afternoon sun. The wind whipping against her mane and whiskers and antlers. She held her four claws close to her side and closed her eyes.

"Having fun?"

Snapping open, Kagami's slitted pupils tracked the source of the voice. A shadow leapt across the fluffy clouds, stark against their color; keeping up with her despite her speed.

Ah, him. Relaxing, she allowed herself a grin before suddenly twisting straight down. The cat let out a yelp as he overshot his mark, quickly following her to the earth.

Keeping one eye on the cat Kagami sought the cover of forest. Shifting into mortal form as soon as she was hidden in the leaves. There she waited.

And not long. Kagami's keen ears heard him shifting as he landed on the forest floor. Had she been any other he would be as silent as a cat. But she was a dragon.

"Ka-ga-mi!" He sing-songed, voice echoing so that if she did not have him in sight she would not know where it came.

Her fingers twitched impatiently as he stepped closer. She forced them still. More than one of her ambushes had been exposed because of her fidgeting. He came nearer. One more... One more... Now!

Kagami leapt from her hiding place and had the satisfaction of seeing his eyes widen in surprise before they tumbled to the ground.

"Ah, hello to you too," Adrien grunted. He wore black robes in the style of the western gods.

In her scarlet kimono (which would be very restrictive for a mortal) Kagami sat on him. "This marks my twelve thousand four hundred and fifty second win to your twelve thousand four hundred and twenty-three."

"Yes, yes, very impressive, I can't breathe!"

"Don't be so dramatic," Kagami replied without the barest hint of irony. Still, she rose off of her fellow deity. "You know we don't need to breathe."

" 'Don't be so dramatic,' says the dragon" Adrien muttered, cleaning himself off as he stood up. "Tackles me to the ground, goes running off without a word, leaves me to deal with-"

"You mean like all the times I bailed you out after you did something stupid?"

"Name one stupid thing I've done!"

Before Kagami could begin listing the long, long, long, long line of dumb ideas Adrien's had since Creation itself he cut her off.

"This century!"

Cheater. Well, at least it was a good one. Kagami grinned smugly. "You made Marinette mad at you."

Red bloomed on Adrien's cheeks as he spluttered a reply. "You said you wouldn't bring that up again!"

"I did no such thing." Kagami turned smartly away from him and began walking. "You begged me not to mention it and I said I'd consider it."

"Oh, very clever," Adrien replied sarcastically, following.

"Thank you."

"Anyways, what're you doing out here?"

A demon burst out of the foliage and charged at them. Alerted by their bickering, the brute brandished a club overhead. Saliva dripping from its tusks, maw towering over them.

Kagami shifted. Thunder roared from her mouth lined with sharp teeth. Claws like swords, scales like fire in the lengthening shadows. Long, muscular body dwarfing her opponent's. Narrowed eyes promising a quick end.

The demon dropped its club and ran, letting out frightened squeals.

Adrien held his palm up, shadows coalescing into a sphere of pure darkness. Casually, he tossed it at the retreating demon. "You didn't answer my question."

The demon collapsed as the orb of shadow struck it square in the back. A rabbit sprinting away from where it fell.

Still in dragon form Kagami picked up the crude club with two talons like it was a baby mortal's diaper, snout wrinkling in distaste. "Have all smiths vanished from among the demons?" She tossed the so-called weapon aside. "I remember them being much more of a challenge."

Adrien puffed out his chest. "Your welcome."

Kagami snorted, shifting back into mortal form. "We could have left them a sword at least."

"You didn't answer my question," Adrien pointed out.

"Did I not?" Kagami asked innocently. Or rather tried to. Adrien often pointed out that she was far too honest to lie properly.

"Please, don't let this dragon!" Adrien grinned.

She wasn't smiling. No, her lips did not twitch upwards. "That was terrible."

"Well, sorry that I've had a long flight!"

"Wrong language."

"It was ryu-ly tiring!"

Kagami whirled on Adrien and put a hand over his smirking face. "Stop!" She would not be bested by second class material!

"Mm tho enn u the mm at nno!" Adrien mumbled through her fingers.

His breath tickled so she pulled her hand away. "What?"

"Ah! I said, I'll stop when you tell me what I wanna know." Adrien rubbed his nose in a way Kagami could only describe as cat-like.

Shaking the distracting thought from her head, Kagami focused on what had brought her out here in the first place. "There is a city that's been cursed with drought."

Adrien stiffened. "O-oh?"

"It's been a year. Their reserves are almost gone." Kagami quickened her pace as she thought about what would happen to all those mortals if they didn't get rain soon. "The council won't do anything! They just sit there and 'pass judgment'. Which really means doing nothing! What good are they if-"

"It wasn't a council matter."

Kagami paused. Turning, she saw Adrien fidgeting nervously. "... What did you do?"

"Why does it have to be something I did?" Adrien asked defensively.

"Was it?" Kagami demanded, peering straight into Adrien's eyes.

"Okay, fine! I cursed the city! There, are you happy?"

"You gave an entire city drought!?"

"No, of course not!"

"Adrien," Kagami walked up to him and, ignoring the height he had on her, pinned him to a tree with her arm. "What was the wording exactly."

"May you reap what you sow."

A chill went down her spine and she dropped her arm. A curse like that... Rumors, deceptions, lies. They were all seeds of nothing. And apparently the curse decided the best way to reap nothing was to make sure nothing grew.

She sighed. "A year. They had a year to break the curse themselves." A growl of annoyance grew in her throat and Kagami shifted to better indulge the urge.

Adrien shifted into his great cat form, shoulders level with hers, and bumped against her scales. "How did you find out about them anyway?"

"I heard someone pray for them."

"Ah."

Kagami didn't need to ask what they'd done. It was all semantics. All that mattered was that most of them had learned nothing from it. And yet... "How did they attract your attention?"

His slitted eyes narrowed further as shadow black fur bristled. "They desecrated the hall of judgment."

Kagami's mane rose as her whiskers trembled. The hall of judgment was both court of law and temple to justice. If any god besides Adrien had stumbled onto them... They were exceedingly lucky misfortune was all they suffered. "Morons."

"Extremely," Adrien agreed, pressing his giant, warm, feline body closer and purring.

"They do not deserve my help," Kagami declared, laying down and curling her tail around Adrien.

"Nope," he followed her example and stretched out on the leaves covering the forest floor. "But you're gonna help anyways, aren't you."

"Obviously." Kagami turned her long, serpentine neck so she could rub her muzzle against Adrien's.

No mortal would have been able to read how Adrien's face softened while in his current form. "I love that you're so kind."

"You're forgetting about that fleet I turned into driftwood."

"Bragging about your exploits does not diminish the compassion you feel for others. And that armada had it coming."

If Kagami was still in her mortal form she would have blushed. Thankfully, that was physically impossible for dragons. Instead she touched the tip of her nose with Adrien's. "You'll help me?"

"If you need it," he acknowledged easily. "One little curse should be no match for your storms."

"Your curses are hardly that simple, Adrien." His tail flicked happily, as though she'd given him a great compliment. Kagami knew he disliked using his curses cavalierly but like any god Adrien took pride in his work.

"Then we should get going." He stood and stretched like an overgrown housecat. "Traveling in the lower world takes so long when you don't have Max with you."

"I hope that wasn't another pun."

"If I'm feline punny what business is that of yours?"

In response Kagami took off. Letting the wind she summoned buffet Adrien; his protests following her as he leapt into the air. Her laughter booming like thunder as they raced across the sky.

Notes:

@kagamiappreciationweek2020 Written for Kagami Appreciation Week 2020. (The accuracy of the title is yet to be determined.) Is this all going to be self-indulgent nonsense? I mean, yeah, probably.

[caesarclowningaround]

I was tagged by @flightsofwonder! Thanks dearie!! This was interesting and fun!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Felt With the Heart (MCU, 1123 words) Jane fiddled with the skirt of her dress for the thirtieth time. 

The Pure and Simple Truth (MCU/Mr. Robot, 2500 words) Gods and monsters. It’s all real. Who knew? For some reason, Elliot wasn’t at all surprised as he stared across the room at the ‘god’ before him. 

Next Stop (Good Omens, 620 words) It wasn’t that Crowley meant to smack his shoulder into the other man’s as he walked through the subway car… but he meant to. 

voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 1163 words) Adam could have anyone he wanted. This wasn’t just hubris, it was a fact. 

Shadows (Trouble in the Heights, 561 words) The room is a swirling mass of color and fabrics. 

my happy ending is right next to me (IT movie franchise, 246 words) Richie couldn’t wait to dive into the champagne at the reception. 

Baking Without Flour (Good Omens, 961 words) Aziraphale wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he entered Crowley’s apartment, but he at least expected that he’d be unpacked by now.  

Violet Skies (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 42622 words (and counting)) Another day, another suitor. This one was from the far west with flowered silks and bright pastels. Prince Adam from France. 

Horizon (Star Wars, 1397 words) It was so different than anything Armitage could have imagined. And oh, he had imagined.

the booze and the bell chimes (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast/2015!Cinderella, 6272 words) 11:00 AM - 6 HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING “BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN’ EVERYWHERE” Jafar nearly jumped out of bed, his heart pounding in time with the pounding in his head. 

The Dream (MCU/Loki: Where Mischief Lies, 602 words) There is pain as he feels the grip tighten around his throat. He struggles for air, knowing it to be futile at this point. Then, a sharp crack of agony… and he’s gone.

Submerge (Star Wars, 8750 words) His father had warned him many times as a boy to stay away from the Dark Shoals. When Kylo took to the sea as an adult, still his father warned him that morning.

Good at Waiting (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 618 words) Adam wasn’t sure where he was at first. But as the world came into focus around him, he remembered. He remembered dinner the night before, celebrating their six-month anniversary. 

Boom, Clap! (Crash Pad/MCU, 12175 words (and counting)) I need to lay off the weed. It certainly wasn’t the first time Stensland had thought this (or even attempted to put the thought into action soon after), much less the first time he had thought it the moment he had woken up from some batshit crazy trippy dream.

The Ocean Under the Moon (2019!Aladdin/They Call Me Jeeg, 1525 words (and counting)) Fabio had a weird, mostly unknown love for thrift stores. 

a lil something (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 728 words) Jafar’s phone vibrates in his pocket for the second time in the past ten minutes. 

Love is a Battlefield (The Old Guard, 1328 words) There was an excitement in the air as they all stood in formation. Syrus pawed at the ground, his hoof kicking up grass and dust that hung around his legs. 

when push comes to shove (2019!Aladdin/Trust, 1371 words) It had started with Jafar grabbing fistfuls of Primo’s ass and a mocking comment about how thin his pants were, which somehow had led to Jafar assuming Primo wasn’t wearing anything under the blue trousers. He assumed correctly.

play us an encore (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 2400 words) “Open your robe.” Jafar didn’t move from where he was standing in the bathroom doorway. Dressed in only his silk red robe, he stared back at Adam, who was smiling in a way that Jafar couldn’t read.

break the bubble (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast/2015!Cinderella, 1092 words) “Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on…” The lights flashed as three gorgeous men walked onto the stage, lip synching with the loud lyrics of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" playing over the speakers. 

Analysis:

First of all, the fact that 11/20 of these are crossovers is pretty telling of what my favorite thing to write is. Most are either Aladdin crossovers or Marvel crossovers (and involve either Jafar or Loki, respectively) so there’s that.

This list goes back about two years, which is interesting because in the past two years I’ve been working on bigger projects most of the time. Notice how most of these fics are under 2k? Most of these started as small fic prompts or 2am spur-of-the-moment ideas and the longer ones are the more self-indulgent fics.

5 of these fics start with a line that’s mostly used to catch a reader’s attention before a tag, which is then followed by a bit of exposition or action. Twice I use song lyrics as a way of grabbing attention because the POV of the character is also having their attention grabbed.

Several times I just jump right into a character’s POV and begin with them thinking about something or essentially telling the reader “what is happening is normal” or “what is happening is not normal” depending on the situation. It’s also sometimes a quick recap or the statement of a fact about our POV character.

Most of the time, I just jump right into the action to get the story moving. I’ve noticed I prefer to do this over giving a description of where we are. If I do give a description, it almost always comes after the opening line. With the exception of Shadows, none of these opening lines are a setting description.

I really do have a thing for crossovers, especially the weird ones LOL I just love the idea of two different worlds connecting in some way and having the characters themselves connect on another level. D*sney’s been crossing over their stuff since well before I was even born, so while it’s not surprising to see a disney crossover fic, I do think there’s something to writing that odd lil ship I’ve written about 7 fics for (dang!)

I tend to deal with themes of forbidden love in various ways and how the characters make those connections despite the fact they shouldn’t be together. Whether it’s as simple as unrequited romance, or they’re enemies, or they’re not necessarily enemies but they really shouldn’t be together... and yet they always find a way. IDK maybe I’m just a romantic at heart who loves seeing love stories about love conquering all. But that being said, the obstacles these characters face aren’t typical ones?? Like, from this list at least, love triangles aren’t something I’m interested in, but if there is a third party (like in Violet Skies) the third party is never really considered to be a “threat” to the main couple. 

That’s probably another reason why I dig crossover ships, because they inherently shouldn’t be together. they’re from vastly different worlds with maybe one or two things in common (like genre or setting or a character detail or just a vibe).

Or I’m just here to have fun and I’m dragging these characters into the fun zone whether they like it or not :P

But really, all of these are love stories in some way or another. Not that I’ve never written gen fic and I love reading gen fic! But I guess my fave fics to write are the shippy stuff. I just enjoy exploring these types of relationships, despite whether or not they “should” be together. Heck, a couple of these do not have happy endings nor should they. It’s really interesting seeing exactly how drawn to that stuff I am.

FAVE OPENING LINE This is kind of a weird thing to say, but I really don’t care a lot of my opening lines most of the time. I think they are what they need to be, but they don’t hit me the way they should? Some of these I kinda wish I could go back and change, though that’s mostly cuz out of all the lines in each of these fics the first lines I’ve read and reread the most. So it’s mostly me being my own worst critic, but I think my best writing comes more in the middle and ends of my fics, not the beginnings. 

That said, I gotta go with Violet Skies: Another day, another suitor. This one was from the far west with flowered silks and bright pastels. Prince Adam from France.

This is one of those opening lines I’d never change. The fic starts off from Jafar’s POV and he is bored of these princes coming and going and starting this big fic off with him being like “here we go again” with this basic description of Adam is exactly where the fic needed to start, so by the time the reader gets to the end of the first chapter, we know this is definitely not “here we go again” with Prince Adam~

TAGGING: @pigsinablanketfort, @heroofshield, @thenightisfullofangels, @raptorwhisperer, @theresatvjoe, aaaaaaand anybody else who wants to do it!!!!

[risthebrave]

okay so i was going to send in an ask for the director’s cut thing, but there were too many fics i wanted to ask about 😭 i’ll send them in but PLEASE keep in mind you don’t have to do them all i feel bad dmfjsjf

move so pretty (you’re all i see), sleeping on our problems, works like a charm, just a flicker in the dark, and sweet like honey

ahhh omg thank you for sending these in! i’m so sorry for how long it took to get out - i may have forgotten about it shjkskss also i don’t mind talking about all of them but i’m definitely going to keep each one short. you can find them under the cut:

move so pretty (you’re all i see) ~

this fic was started initially when i was doing word prompts using curiouscat! people would send me words and i’d write a quick little drabble/snippet... they’re typically around 300-ish words but i got the word “owns,” and maybe got a bit carried away? i think that prompt ended up being 1k words - too long to post using cc so i had to take screenshots and post as separate tweet. 

the idea that came to me was something i love to read in fics: one of them walking in on the other masturbating. i didn’t intend for it to become anything more than that snippet but i what can i say? i got intrigued. my brain helpfully provided a backstory: best friends, harry maybe having feelings for louis but not wanting to ruin their friendship... 

fast-forward three days and i posted an 11k fic shjssks

this was my first attempt at writing a pwp so that was an interesting experience!!! i’m too obsessed with giving backstories and arcs to ever write just pure smut but this is the closest i’ve gotten??? 5.5k/11k being smut, that is. and for once coming up with the title wasn’t too hard because there’s one song i always think of when it comes to best friends to lovers and that’s lucky!! 

i don’t really know what else to say for this one! i remember sarah and i both wrote and posted pwps in a short span of each other so that was fun... she’s actually the one who motivated me to finish and post this fic instead of just letting the idea go. and her dog ended up in the story: chica <3 my absolute favorite <3333

sleeping on our problems ~

welp. this fic was a struggle for a long time. idk if i’ve talked about it on this blog but this fic was initially an exes to lovers fic!!! where they spent harry’s rut together right before breaking up and then louis finds out he’s pregnant and angst ensues. 

changing it to a one-night stand (even though it wasn’t only one night shjksks) ended up being a really good decision in the way that this new version of the story required a lot less angst and reflection of their past relationship, choices, actions!! that first fic was going to be a lot heavier i think shjsks but i really love how it turned out!!

barring the main tropes, the progression of the story and the outline itself changed so. much. in the process of writing... i found an earlier saved version of my outline and the story is almost completely unrecognizable haha. and actually the most recent saved version of the outline is also not 100% accurate to the final story because for the last 10k of the story, i was flying completely free shjsksk. 

also, even after i finished the fic, i went back and added two scenes the next day so it’s safe to say i changed so much of this story -- it was never supposed to be that long either hsjsksk the goal was 48-50k and i thought i was being optimistic!

somewhat in the same vein but also really different: this fic was one of the first fics i ever wrote out of order! before this, i had switched around maybe a couple times when writing a fic but mostly stuck to chronological order. but in this one i kept getting stuck with certain scenes and decided that i’d never reach my goal of finishing unless i switched to parts of the story i had the inspiration to write in the moment instead of getting stuck on one single part i had no motivation for. it really helped the process and i’ve been switching around ever since. 

another thing that really helped me actually finish this fic was the motivation and encouragement of people on twitter and i’m still so appreciative of it now :’) there’s no way i could have finished this fic without the kind words and well wishes of my mutuals!!

(also - i included an easter egg in this fic from another one of my fics... i suppose that’s sort of the type of insight that fits for these things? the ballet louis and harry saw in new york was swan lake <3)

works like a charm ~

ooo i wrote this fic for my friend’s birthday!! she loves hp aus and slytherin hl so it was just a given that i write that for her. i was on a deadline - pretty sure i made the doc on september 4th, aka nine days before i posted - and i hadn’t had my full outline done when i started which is is... let’s just say very uncommon. 

this is another example of me going off outline and changing the story as i went because initially the estimation was about 12k and the basic plot was that after they’d fuck for the first time, they’d immediately talk about the past and resolve those misunderstandings. but when i got to that point, i realized it felt too rushed for how the story was progressing so i extended it a bit and added some more *tension* and *miscommunication* until they finally got their shit together!

also i feel like some would find louis’ blatant lies when interrogated about his feelings for harry to be unrealistic but as someone who has definitely done the exact same thing (lmao - without the happy ending), i find it a definite possibility. and i mean, we all say stuff we don’t mean under pressure - whether it’s to louis’ (and my) extent or not. 

another thing i remember about this fic was having to work out with sarah - who was also posting a fic for this friend’s birthday - posting times and dates. we eventually agreed that she’d post first and i’d post the day after (neither were the actual day of the birthday because we were both running late!) this is a conversation we proceeded to have many other times since we both have made habits of birthday fics and we pretty much have the same friends. 

all of this was also happening in sync with us writing a fic together for our other friend’s birthday which was on the 8th... yes it was exactly as chaotic and stressful as you’re thinking but also fun! and i love all three fics involved!! haha. 

just a flicker in the dark ~

okay this fic is definitely my favorite thing i’ve ever written and i’ve said that before many, many times but it’s true! but it too changed so much from the initial idea to the final end product. 

in fact, the original idea was a 20k somewhat-crack fic where harry was a ghost and louis was the paranormal investigator trying to get him to stop haunting this house. it was just supposed to be a quick and fun halloween fic to work on while finishing up my first blff and finally making head way on my abandoned second blff... obviously, that changed drastically. 

it initially started with me getting the idea of louis and harry being partners and enemies. and then i was thinking... why not throw exes on top of it while we’re there??? that was completely self-indulgent since exes to lovers is my favorite trope of all time. but the idea was still that they were paranormal investigators trying to work a case on a haunted house and though the estimated wc had raised to 35k, i was still hoping that it’d be quick and easy because i had two other projects that needed a lot of my attention. 

then came the first day of october. i woke up after having the craziest dream about louis and harry and the ghost that was not really a ghost. i ended up writing about 7k that thursday and the story really just took shape from there. the first sequence i wrote was actually the scene where louis goes into the backyard and ends up in the pocket dimension where the spirit imprints on him - i think it was a 3.5k scene and it just flew out of me sjksjsk. after that i took a small break to start my outline but it was more of a messy list of ideas and details and things i wanted to include than my usual organized format. the next scene i wrote that day was the scene where louis is in the bedroom and the demon is there but harry is not but then he is (i’m so good at describing things, right?) that’s actually one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written and the funny thing is that i barely even knew all the details of the demon plot by this point but my hands just kept typing and my brain had the tendrils of the story forming and that amazing feeling that this is something good. 

i could ramble on forever about the process of writing this fic but i’ll just say that it’s the most fun i’ve ever had writing anything ever. word-building and supernatural elements are my favorite and getting to delve into those things here was so much fun! the entire process took twenty-five days (spanning from october 1st to october 28th - with a small three day break to focus on finishing miss wedding au!!) and though i did have some small struggles and moments of writer’s block, for the most part the story just came to me. and it’s so amazing to me because i didn’t even have all the details and facets of the plot until louis did too but it ended up working out??? if anything, it showed his process of figuring things out really well because it was the process of me figuring things out!

also this was the first time i heavily featured a fic pet in a fic and i fell as much in love with venus as everyone else did :’) she has my heart, truly <3 i love this world and these characters so so much and i hope to return to it sometime in the future!

sweet like honey ~

whooo, okay, this fic... yikes. this fic was a capital s Struggle. 

so basically this fic was written for the blff and though it came out first, it was the second prompt i signed up for, prompt 63: Friends to lovers AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and flatmates in Uni and they both need money, Harry for his gym membership and Louis for cute stuff like sanrio plushies, so they decide to film homemade porn videos together. Louis is shy and sweet and maybe inexperienced and Harry kinda doms him.

i remember the exact moment i saw the blff post on tumblr about it being allowed to sign up for another prompt from that point on - i was sitting at the counter at my friend’s ranch’s kitchen eating crepes and browsing on my phone. i saw the post and immediately signed up for this prompt because it had been my second choice and though i love love loved my first prompt so much, i was disappointed at not being able to write this one... but i did!

the idea and basic outline was actually completed way back in july/august but for some reason i just couldn’t make any actual progress on it for so long??? i’m pretty sure the document was stuck at 5k for over three months shsjksks to be fair, i did keep pushing it to the side in favor of other newer fics but i was just experiencing the biggest barrier when it came to this story and characters. 

in fact, i actually reached out to the mods in late october about a potential extension - they informed me that all writers could use a two week extension if needed and i figured that would be fine. however, i didn’t end up using it! within the first few days of november, i managed to pull the wc up to 8k by the skin of my teeth (was still majorly struggling) - i was still sure i’d need an extension but then something really awful but in this case, helpful, happened... 

election week. 

basically, i’m a big stress-writer. writing is what i do when i’m upset or anxious or stressed because it truly is my happy place. i wouldn’t say writing during that week made me feel much better about everything going on but it provided a distraction. so much though that i went from 8k to 24k in the span of a few days... and i have absolutely no recollection of writing any of it. 

not only did i not need any extension, i also somehow ended up finishing early by a few days. and i really liked what i had!! or what i remembered of it anyway shjskks.

one thing i remember really focusing on in terms of these characters and dynamic was having it actually just be them starting as friends and developing feelings later. i feel like a common trope in friends to lovers fics is having one or both of them with pre-existing feelings that they feel is unrequited. obviously there’s nothing wrong with that (i’ve written it myself lol) and it’s a common trope for a reason - because it’s good - but i wanted to try something a little different. them actually filming these videos is what acted as the catalyst to them beginning to view their relationship with new eyes and open the door to the eventual feelings that developed. 

i also had so much fun writing harry’s pov in this one haha. i feel like this version of him was really bold and shameless and super easy for me to develop. 

this is also the closest i’ve ever gotten to meeting my estimation word count... ever. my estimate was 32k and it ended up at 33k!!! and yes i’m more proud of that than i should be lol

-

anyways, i pretty much just rambled but if anyone sees this and gets some good insight out of it, then yay! feel free to send more director’s cut inquiries!! i love doing them (even if it takes me weeks - sorry again!)

[jlf23tumble]

Agree so much with your post about the teams and fan engagement ! And love the way you articulated all of that. Although now I definitely am interested in knowing what your notes about the specificity of each team/artist cause I feel like they'd be fascinating to read. Hope you'll post them some day, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ! 😊

Awwww, that’s very kind! It’s definitely head canon city, I litcherally have ZERO clue what goes on behind the scenes (and I can’t stress this enough, none of us do), so this’ll look hilariously dated when we find out that blah woof was true all along, lmao (me @ myself, thinking of some random Grimshaw interviews from last fall, oh, bless). Let’s dig in!!

For those of you who just stumbled upon this post, it’s related to the one I made last night about how I think the management teams of all these men (mid-20s means = you’re a man, not a boy) are not, in fact, sabotaging them. They negotiate a lot of tricky interconnected arrangements that none of us are privy, to, plus they’re at least trying to achieve the goals their clients are going for. And they’re doing it—the trick is these goals are highly individual and not 100% sensical (at least given our own view from the afternoon, Arctic Monkeys ref, holllllllah!!!).

In addition, these goals constantly shift, as does the music industry itself—I drive my own self loony when I lurk on blogs that are seemingly broadcasting from 2012, confused by why xx’s team is so “terrible” because they aren’t throwing good money after bad to get on a radio playlist, or why they haven’t announced yy “properly,” as if they’re being paid to worry about this level of shit (which fires me up on about five levels, deep breaths in, deep breaths out). I’m much nosier about the signals we’re getting when we hear them talk in their beautifully media-trained way about their musical interests, when we get some of that sweet, sweet fan service with a Gallagher or a Capaldi, when we get that heads up about who’s attending what concert, stuff like that. These signals don’t necessarily indicate future collaborations, but they DO indicate what kind of image these guys want to have, the kind of music they want the public to associate them with.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself…their personalities and goals at the moment are all so vastly different, and I truly do love seeing how their teams are workin’ it accordingly. Again, please @ god, don’t @ me…opinions, massively unpopular opinions, dead ahead!

* Zayn. My read on Zayn is that he enjoys the creative process, loves writing and singing, digs collabing with people, but he doesn’t seem to give two shits about the biz side (and why should he? that’s called living the dream at this particular point in his career). His website recently added “tour,” which EYEBALL EYEBALL, but he doesn’t seem to be all that interested in putting himself back out on stage or into radio/print/etc. anytime soon, and again, why should he? His numbers are HUGE without pushing himself through the anxiety-provoking churn he endured for four years, so there’s no real drive for him to do any promo if he doesn’t want to (see: the netflix-like binge dump of Icarus Falls, which could be “sabotage,” or it could just be, “fineeeeeeee, here’s some stuff for you, enjoy”). What other artist gifts his fans with gorgeous covers of such a wide variety of songs that indicate he’s more interested in sharing them than selling them. Accordingly, his fan interactions seem fairly pure and not all that promo-y: he has a keen interest in fanart, he’s done some fan pop-ups/listening parties that are pretty low-key and *seemingly* fan-focused, and recently (with zero anything to really promote), he’s been posing for cute pics and chatting with randos on the streets of NYC. I recently read that his mgmt team is no longer with him, but that sort of folds into my feeling that he’s not pursuing anything biz-wise, hence no need to jump through those particular hoops (I think he’s also struggled with a lot of demons, so yeah, why add one more). Could he be adrift? Maybe, but the next guy is the posterman for lack of focus….

* Liam. Honestly, I worry about Liam most of all. His post-1D career seems very much adrift, and I like to joke that he’s giving me that tell-all about the D one sentence at a time, but goddamn, are people listening? The struggles with alcohol, the lack of focus on every level, the reliance on his dad’s career advice (which more clearly reflects his dad’s financial class, background, and history than it does Liam’s), and the overall confusion about look, sound, and direction also flow back directly into his team. I get the feeling that they aren’t sure what to do because LIAM isn’t sure what to do or what he wants, so they follow in his wake. He’s agreeable to a fault, so seeing him at a meet-and-greet at an HMV in Birmingham last week felt like a step back into 2010 for no real reason, just like hearing that he was more or less coerced into full nude photoshoots for an underwear ad (the decisions to say yes to both of those—who’s steering this ship? If it’s Liam, he needs to tell the team his overall goal, so they can plot a course he and his fans can follow; if it’s the team, ditto). Like Niall, Liam’s actually pretty good at the SM game: lots of selfies, snapchat filters, outfits, gym service, twitter interactions. But generally speaking, his promo is confusing, and that’s probably because there isn’t much *to* promote at this point, other than a mix of collabs, clothing endorsements, spon con, horse farms, and an album that’s always on the horizon. This might be tied to the general post-1D jolt they all went through, like a plane coming off autopilot and into the hands of someone who’s just learning how to fly it. Zayn debuted at number one, so his bump wasn’t as harsh, but the others are slowly, steadily finding their footing after taking some time to find themselves and their sound, releasing songs/albums, performing (or in Louis’s case, going through unspeakable tragedy). Liam’s still adrift…and somewhat admittedly, which is kind of telling in its own way. Just know that my nervousness on his behalf ratchets up every time he feels the urge to assure us all that he’s happy.

* Niall. Truly the one following the original 1D template, right down to working with most of the same people but with more of the overall control in his hands instead of a faceless management squad. Of any of them, he seems the most ambitious, the most scientific about the sound he’s after and how he’s gonna get there. His promo is a mix of new and traditional—radio shows, talk shows, podcasts, special events, twitter interactions with fans, twitter interactions with entertaining celebrities—and it’s all hustle hustle hustle, build build build, as if he were a new ingenue instead of coming up hard on solo album number two. He’s explicit in his goals, which is refreshing, but it means he walks a weird line with fans: on one hand, he’s done with their bullshit, get ready to get rekt if you start commenting on his boring food seasoning or home décor. But on the other hand, he fully recognizes how much he needs them, which is why we get so many peeks into his “normal” life (yet zero percent of his actual personal life). It’s also probably why the blatant tweets of the last two days seem so jarring to me (I might be alone on this one, but I’m not a fan of directives in general, and asking me to call radio stations on behalf of a rich white man to become even richer just rubs me the wrong way, same with asking me to stream stuff to get you to number one…you’ve been there, buddy, how about you calm down and build some character at number 51). And speaking of calming down, it does fascinate me that both Niall and Louis namecheck Taylor Swift as someone who gets the whole fandom push/pull thing right, so watching them try to reverse-engineer her secrets is fun. Louis nails it (that hotspot treasure hunt: chef’s kiss), but Niall’s heavy-handed easter egg dump in NTMY, she would never!! I think Niall’s team needs to watch “Calm Down” about five more times before they try that again.

* Louis. I think Louis honestly has an AMAZING team in place, and they’re all clearly on his side, which makes for a refreshing change. Like Niall, he has publicly praised Taylor Swift for how she engages with her fans, but I think he’s missing a key point: she doesn’t let her fans dictate strategy, and I HOPE that’s the case for Louis, too. His old team *was* shit, so yeah, encouraging people to do fan projects to get the word out was a good idea, but turning that spigot off to let a good (paid) team step in and take over has been, uh, challenging. He’s dealt with more than his fair share of personal tragedy, but every time he gets some momentum going, it feels like something bts pushes him back off track, and he tends to keep it private, which only makes his hardest-core fans scream “sabotage.” Rightly so, he’s focusing on his personal life, and rightly so, his team is giving him the space to do that, even when it costs cash money and throws a lot of shit seriously for a loop. It makes my heart soar to see the potential of what his team can do/is doing, how much space he’s being allowed to process what he needs to process. Weirdly, that’s an unpopular opinion, and a lot of people want to indulge in an angst wank fest where Louis’s the victim of a terrible team that won’t DO anything (nevermind the fact that he’s probably ASKED them not to do anything), so they undertake a tremendous amount of performative unpaid labor that ends up being counterproductive on just about every front. Even worse, most of them can’t seem to process the fact that losing your mum is a blow, losing your SISTER is a blow, juggling other siblings or close friends handling some serious demons of their own in the aftermath of all of *that* is a blow, let alone handling your own personal coping mechanisms, nope, they want Louis to release release release, perform perform perform, c’mon, what’s holding him back, he *said* he wanted to release an album this year, there’s “no reason” for a delay, gotta be his shitty team, free him. It drives me ‘round the bend because it’s the same talk from late last year, you know, when we later found out that at least one family member was losing a fight with drug addiction. Louis’s fan engagement/promo is therefore hella fraught: he has to balance LouisTM on twitter (Mr. Donny, he’s hard, mate), his werk IG posts, and his constant edging because nobody can remember or trust that he’s got this, that multiple things are in play. But he also knows his fanbase, knows that it’s resistant to any kind of change, so I hope he pushes through and stays true to what he wants to do. I was really encouraged with his last promo round because he seems to have narrowed in on a something solid, he’s got a plan, and it’s not, “hey mr dj, put my record on,” it’s getting his fans to trust that he and his team know what the fuck they’re doing, and spoiler alert, it ain’t radio, but go ahead and keep pissing off djs by sending angry tweets their way. (Related: why is it so bad to avoid the radio when all of us admit that radio music is garbage? Is it because it’s more about you than him? Much to think about.)

* Harry. My very favorite head canon is that Harry is Jeff’s nightmare client: what was perfection at first because the Azoffs are old-school promo all the way (no SM, baby, gimme that sweet, sweet paper), and that dovetailed nicely with post-1D Harry, but it quickly veered into mulish teeth pulling. Low profile can quickly spin into no profile, and that really doesn’t work too well when you’re trying to sell sell sell, even if your brand is Harry StylesTM. HS1 and Dunkirk in their own separate ways worked VERY hard to push past the still-persistent way the general public views Harry as boybander Harry Styles, or more accurately, former boybander Harry Styles who dated Taylor Swift (if you venture out and ask someone who’s not a fan), but what I love about Harry is that much like Zayn, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered by all that. Sure, he’s ambitious, he wants to challenge himself and do things, but he’s no Niall Horan. He’s put in his time! If he gets a number one, then cool, but he’s not gonna chase it. And this is where Harry’s team really reflects his goals and energy: sure, they want him to do some promo (that “Do” tweet, the entire bit about the fan in Australia and Harry Lambert’s follow, goddddd, I loved it, petty Harry, resigned Jeff), but they clearly aren’t forcing him. He drops a song that makes a HUGE splash, and the follow-up is…liking some tweets and going to a John Mayer concert (not a John Mayer fan, so that wouldn’t be my first choice, but I respond to the zero fucks given about the whole thing). The music industry has changed a LOT in just two years, so it’s kind of cool to see team Harry pivoting a bit, seeing more SM interaction, the kindness generator, etc., but that said, the team takes their cues from him, and he clearly doesn’t want to do a whole promo circuit beyond persons a, b, and c, and magazine R, F, and A. Does it make sense to have Rob Sheffield write a profile about Stevie Nicks-blessed shroom-eater Harry Styles when his new song sounds like the Zarry combo of my dreams? NOPE, but that’s okay, Harry wanted to talk to Rob, so that’s what happened. The new song is more streaming friendly, and thank CHRIST, a lot less crusty white dude stuck in the ‘70s, so I can only hope that the rest of the album is thus, but we shall see! We’ll also see if Harry’s fan engagement shifts any further into the active zone…so far, it’s been “I’m gonna follow some larries, like these fun generator posts, check out a few dads” and staged photo ops with the same familiar faces, but I think he’s dealing with his own major bts issues as well (album delayed at least twice; that entire stalking situation). I still contend the album’s coming in the next few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see if/how any additional promo rolls out in this new world order post-gryles landscape, how many interviews he’ll do, but I like that there’s a strategy that seems less stodgy…kudos to the new SM team, at least!!

Oh man, that got really long! Hope you enjoyed, and YES, opinions opinions opinions, and they’ll be stupid in about three weeks’ time, thanks for coming to my already dated buzzfeed article

[pivitor]

My Top 10 Albums of 2019

2019 will go down, for me, as the year my beloved iPod died, and I finally bit the bullet and signed up for Spotify Premium. Thus, I listened to more new music in 2019 than I ever have before, and realized how much of it I found disposable. Bands I grew up loving put out mediocre efforts, new darlings grew in directions I wasn’t interested in following, but thank god, thank god there are still plenty of terrific musicians putting out work that resonates deep within my soul. Music is subjective, so I wouldn’t dare call this a “best of” list, but below are the ten new releases of 2019 that I listened to the most, vibed with the most, that just plain ol’ meant the most to me this year.

(PS: Don’t think too much about the exact order and ranking here. It changed multiple times even as I was writing this. What really matters is that all ten of these records rule)

10. Radar State -- Strays

Radar State are the Avengers of the early 2000s mid-west emo scene -- a band combining The Get Up Kids’ Matt Pryor and Jim Suptic, The Anniversary’s Josh Berwanger, and The Architects’ Adam Phillips into a single supergroup. Pryor has described the project as “just having fun with [his] friends,” and that dynamic shines through loud and clear in Strays. It’s like each member is pushing the next to just create the catchiest song they possibly can, and the competition leads to great results; Pryor favors fast and sloppy punk and Berwanger moody earworms that fuse themselves into your brain through sheer repetition, but it’s Suptic who fulfills that edict best with his shiny, addictive pop love songs. Radar State never quite hits the emotional highs of its members’ main projects, but that was never the point in the first place; Strays is just fun from front to back, and it’s an album I’ve returned to consistently throughout the entirety of 2019.

Highlights: Making Me Feel, Self-Hurt Guru, Artificial Love

9. The Early November -- Lilac

Lilac is an album about learning from your mistakes and making a conscious choice to be better, and it’s a theme, an ethos that truly defines this release on every level. The Early November originally planned to release Lilac back in 2018, but ended up scrapping the original recording and going back to the drawing board, knowing that they could do better, and funneling that ambition, all their lessons learned, into their most ambitious release outside of The Mother, The Maker, and the Path (“but less self-indulgent,” I say with love). Horns, piano, and a wide variety of tempos spice up the proceedings, and the lyrics are more raw and honest than ever, but Lilac’s greatest weapon is the vocals, which Ace Enders wields with virtuoso skill. He plays with different cadences and deliveries, giving every song a unique feel, moving from soft and pleasant (“Perfect Sphere [Bubble]”) to menacing (“My Weakness”), from the joy of “Ave Maria” to the cathartic, powerhouse vocal explosion of “Hit By A Car (Euphoria)” to the pure, crackling, barely contained emotional breakdown threatening to burst right out of the chorus of “Our Choice.” There’s no other vocalist out there quite like Ace Enders -- and no other record quite like Lilac.

Highlights: Hit By A Car (In Euphoria), Ave Maria, Comatose

8. Magazine Beach -- Sick Day (EP)

Most year-end lists probably overlooked this record, a debut four-song EP from a small DIY band released in mid-December, and man oh man are those critics missing out. Sick Day isn’t just the biggest and best musical surprise I received all year, but quite possibly the most fun I had listening to music in 2019. Seriously, I played this on loop probably two dozen times the day I discovered it, and spent that evening forcing friends to listen to it too. Magazine Beach’s tongue-in-cheek lyrics, gonzo riffs, and stunning background harmonies are combined with vocals whose flatter, sardonic tone initially masks, but soon reveals their perfect cadence and quick crackles of emotion; they’re as close to a perfect pop-punk package as I heard all year, with their quirky, relatable songs about flaky friends, overstuffed social calendars, and other mid-twenties challenges filling that gaping Modern-Baseball-You’re-Gonna-Miss-It-All-shaped hole in my heart. If this had released earlier in the year, and I’d had more time to see how long it truly stuck with me, it might have placed far, far higher on this list, but either way I look forward to carrying this album forward with me into 2020, and I look forward to following Magazine Beach’s future career closely. I think they could go places.

Highlight: Living Room

7. Masked Intruder -- III

It’s easy to look at Masked Intruder and think that they’re more of an act than a band, just because they’re so good at playing hardened-yet-harmless criminals on stage, at enchanting an audience with their antics and banter alone. Thankfully, they’re equally skilled as musicians as they are performers; III isn’t just quick content for their live shows, but an entertaining, addictive, artfully made pop-punk record in its own right. Okay, maybe pop-punk is a bit too restrictive a descripter -- between the doo-wop, call-and-response harmonies and the raging riffs and solos, III sometimes sounds like a modern spin on sixties rock and roll, which is something I did not know I needed but absolutely needed. The lyrics never break kayfabe, but there’s some real clever stuff going on beneath the surface of these silly crime-themed love songs; contrasting the creepiness of Blue’s romantic pursuits with the shenanigans of a typical radio love song shows how few differences there actually are between the two, how creepy the entire genre is when you stop to give it any thought. It’s thoughtful and subversive without ever being preachy, just one more spinning plate kept perfectly balanced in the act that is III.

Highlights: Not Fair, Maybe Even, I’m Free (At Last)

6. Martha -- Love Keeps Kicking

Martha’s secret weapon is the empathy and compassion their songs cultivate for their subjects. Love Keeps Kicking is an album largely about the way love can kick you when you’re down, yet throughout the album Martha never villainizes even the bad actors in relationships. “Into This” finds the narrator jerked around by a potential partner who just won’t clarify what they are to each other, but the song isn’t out to attack the partner, simply to get a solid answer. Likewise, “Love Keeps Kicking” lays out a myriad of detailed complaints about romance and relationships, not to insult, but simply to find a way to endure them. “Orange Juice” rues the way the narrator diluted their partner just by being with them, showing impressive (and heartbreaking) levels of self-awareness. That kind of emotional maturity and complexity makes the true love songs (“Sight For Sore Eyes,” “Wrestlemania VIII”) all the more joyous, and makes their social commentary (“Mini Was A Preteen Arsonist”) that much more effective. Martha are a wonderfully catchy, fun band filled with great harmonies and British twang, but it’s their earnest, compassionate storytelling that truly made me fall in love with them, and with Love Keeps Kicking.

Highlights: Wrestlemania VIII, Love Keeps Kicking, Orange Juice

5. Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties -- Routine Maintenance

Hot take (?) incoming: Dan Campbell is the best songwriter of our generation. I already sang his praises pretty thoroughly last year when discussing my favorite album of 2018, but Routine Maintenance is just further proof of this truth, almost Campbell flexing. The previous Aaron West record was a character study of the worst year of a man’s life, but Routine Maintenance expands Aaron’s world in terms of scope, characters, and themes, all to the project’s (and character’s) benefit. The record is a tale of redemption, taking Aaron from rock bottom to a new place of security, all through the power of friendship and community, the power of music, and the power of family, of fulfilling your responsibilities to them, of finding your role and your home wherever you are, with the people who care about you, with people you can make proud. They’re themes Campbell has been exploring throughout his entire career, but brought down to a more personal level, and somehow that makes them hit harder than ever, perhaps because it makes the way they can fit into any listener’s life that much clearer. I’ve cried listening to this album. I’ve cried hearing these songs live. There’s true, true catharsis on Routine Maintenance, and it’s because Campbell’s taken Aaron West on a real journey, and it’s one I feel blessed to have been able to follow.

Highlights: Runnin’ Toward the Light, Rosa & Reseda, Winter Coats

4. Pkew Pkew Pkew -- Optimal Lifestyles

Pkew Pkew Pkew’s 2016 self-titled debut was an album told solely in the present tense, not worried about the future, but simply about the drinks, pizza, skateboarding, and parties to be had right here, right now. It was a blisteringly fun, gang-vocals filled powerhouse of a record that solidified Pkew Pkew Pkew as one of my new favorite bands. Optimal Lifestyles, though, is an album that has started to look back, if only to question the present. Are they still content to be these same fun-loving, hard-drinking party guys? Ultimately, as proven by lyrics such as “Shred until you’re dead, or until you break your wrist again” and “We lead thirsty little lives, and all we want’s another,” the answer they come to is a resounding “yes,” but the journey they take to find that answer not only makes it feel earned, but opens Pkew Pkew Pkew to some exciting new songwriting avenues, be it the touching introspection of “Drinkin’ Days” or the surprisingly beautiful nostalgia of “Everything’s the Same” (or even the more raucous nostalgia of “Mt. Alb,” for that matter). Don’t let words like “introspection” and “beautiful” scare you, though -- The Boys still rock as hard as ever, as the wailing, chugging guitars and even a totally rockin’ saxophone solo fully attest to (though I do miss all the gang vocals). And I’d be remiss to not mention “I Wanna See A Wolf,” an absolute songwriting clinic. In only a minute and nineteen seconds, Pkew Pkew Pkew takes a simple statement -- “I wanna see a wolf” -- and unravels it until it reveals a song about longing for freedom from the careers that cage our lives, even when they’re our dream. I don’t know if Pkew Pkew Pkew could have written this song three years ago. Talk about growth.

Highlights: I Wanna See A Wolf, Point Break, Adult Party

3. The Get Up Kids -- Problems

After their most popular record -- 1999’s Something To Write Home About -- the Get Up Kids’ next three albums all went on to be incredibly divisive among their fans. While all three records showed significant creative growth, none really sounded like what came before (personally, I very much enjoyed two of those records -- sorry, There Are Rules -- but I guess I’m not most fans). Problems, though, sounds like the natural evolution of Something To Write Home About without ever feeling derivative of it -- it sounds more like “the Get Up Kids” than anything the Get Up Kids have released in over a decade, which is an incredibly exciting thing let me tell you. Yet, Problems still benefits from everything the band has learned in that time: there’s new introspection (“The Problem Is Me”), a wider storytelling scope (“Lou Barlow”), and a shift from wallowing in their own pain to examining the pain of others (“Satellite,” which Matt Pryor has said is based on one of his sons). Problems also manages to pack in absolute bangers like “Fairweather Friends,” sensitive, tender ballads like “The Advocate,” and mid-tempo jams like “Salina,” a guaranteed future Emo classic that threatens to dethrone the Kids’ own “Central Standard Time” as The Quintessential Emo Song. Problems is the synthesis of just about everything that has ever made the Get Up Kids special, and it not only makes for one of the year’s best albums, but one of the Get Up Kids’ best as well.

Highlights: Fairweather Friends, Lou Barlow, Salina

2. PUP -- Morbid Stuff

The A-Side of Morbid Stuff is perfect -- a legitimately flawless five song stretch of punk rock that continues to blow my mind almost ten months after its release. The unmistakable opening notes of “Morbid Stuff”; that irresistible background riff from the bridge returning in “Kids’” second chorus, combined with some of the most nihilisticly romantic lyrics I’ve ever heard; the raucous sing-along that is “Free At Last”; the purest, most undiluted diss-track of the year in “See You At Your Funeral”; and, finally, the best song of the year bar none, “Scorpion Hill,” a sonic journey through multiple musical genres, telling a story of uniquely American misery that legitimately moves me to tears. The B-Side doesn’t quite live up to these first five tracks -- there’s a couple stand-outs (“Bare Hands” needs to make it into a live set pronto), a couple songs more interesting in concept than execution (sorry, “Full Blown Meltdown”), and a few more perfectly fine, standard PUP tunes (and I swear I don’t mean that as an insult!) -- but, well, how could it ever really have anyway? All together, it still makes for an outrageously enjoyable album that reaches the upper echelons of what 2019’s new music had to offer. That PUP was not only such a terrific band right out of the gate, but has remained so this far into their career, makes me so, so happy.

Highlights: Scorpion Hill, Kids, Free At Last

1. The Menzingers -- Hello Exile

It took me a few listens -- and, truthfully, seeing it played live -- to truly crack this album. At first it was a bit too slow, the vocals a bit too filtered, but once it clicked, I lived and breathed Hello Exile and nothing else for months. The slightly slower pace gives the Menzingers a chance to play around with some new musical tricks, be it the back-and-forth opening or the fun background guitar melodies of “Strangers Forever” or the almost hypnotic vocal melodies in the choruses of “Portland” or “Hello Exile,” and they pay off with great effect. Lyrically the Menzingers are at the top of their game; tracks like “High School Friend” and “Strain Your Memory” are more adept than ever at painting stories that make you nostalgic for a life you never even lived, but absolutely feel like you have, and lines like “it only hurts til’ it doesn’t” hit your heart with sniper-like precision. “Anna” may be the quintessential Menzingers song, a tale of longing, love, and location that drove the entire scene into a frenzy that still hasn’t subsided. “Farewell Youth” is the best closing track the Menzingers have ever released, a song about grief in multiple forms that manages to find poignant takes on each and every one of them. I’m not yet sure whether Hello Exile is the beginning or the end of a chapter for the Menzingers, but either way, it’s clearly an essential and unmissable part of their story, and one I feel privileged to be able to experience.

Highlights: Anna, Strangers Forever, Farewell Youth

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations DEAN! You’ve been accepted as JANUS with a FC change to CASEY DEIDRICK.

Dean, first let me say that when I saw an app from you in our inbox I screamed! Now, onto business. The way you created a backstory for Jackson that starts in Las Vegas and ends in Chicago kept me hanging on each and every word. I have to admit, the detail about how there’s only one form of identification with his true face and name was one of my favorite parts! I also loved how you broke name his name - it’s a little detail that went a long way in figuring out who Jackson is. We’re so excited to have you back on the dash and with our Janus! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

NAME/ALIAS: Dean

PRONOUNS: She/her

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: GMT, fairly active

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Jackson Sawyer Raemers

GENDER/PRONOUNS: He/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS: This is where you show us who the character is to you! The format of this doesn’t matter, whether it’s in bullet points or in para form, and can be as long as you’d like it to be. Feel free to get creative!

The name Jackson is a Scottish name. In Scottish the meaning of the name Jackson is: God has been gracious; has shown favour. Based on John or Jacques.

Sawyer was an English meaning, a occupational name for someone who earned his living by sawing wood, Middle English saghier, an agent derivative of sagh(en) ‘to saw’.

Raemers based on Ramer, The oldest form of the name is “Reinmar” or “Reginmar,” which literally meant “famous councillor.” Always prominent in social affairs.

He’s a walking contradiction, his mind never 100% made on a singular motive and distraction easily pulled him from one thing to the next. Jackson’s chaos is a subtle one, orchestrated solely for his own enjoyment until there’s reason to repel against something or someone. Opinionated in a way in which his argument could be swerved from one side the the other only because he wanted to play devil’s advocate and test other people’s beliefs because it gives him comfort to see witness the grey spots in other’s morals.

A lot of what he does was born from his own insecurities, the voice in the back of his head telling him that we were more worthless than the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. So he hides his true self carefully, uses masks of humour and then hides behind other peoples identities. Carefully packaging away his own demons with false confidence that couldn’t be questioned.

BIO:

Fraud and robberies became second nature, easier than breathing yet essential to keep his head from sinking below the water. It was ironic, how swift his own actions turned from survival to pure indulgence. Disordered violence increasingly becomes addictive due to the way it supplied him with a steady rush of endorphins. The taste of rebellion even more rewarding when it was fuelled by the very mutation that he’d been discriminated for his entire life. He’d unlocked his true potential, a criminal with the ability to morph fluidly from one appearance to the next.

He supposes it was a form of obsession, in contrast to his former self, an upbringing spent repressing his powers to appease his terrified parents who feared the opinion of the neighbourhood than what may become of their son by neglecting a key part of his identity. Living life as an outlaw, adorning himself in tourist t-shirts and tacky dollar store sunglasses was a vast improvement. A lifestyle that saw him existing out of the trunk of his car, mustard stains from a drive-thru burger discolouring the map which lay open on his passenger seat, red ink circling his next destination. He couldn’t picture himself living an average life, didn’t want to be another cog in a well oiled cooperate machine where he’d become just another number sat at a desk until he’d worked up enough hours to pay off a mortgage.

Jackson’s luck fell short, naturally, the second his car pulled into sin city. Las Vegas with the luminosity of neon lights and slot machines was the single worst decision he could have made. Worse than disowning his family, worse than his impulsive decision making when getting tattoos and maybe even worse than the time he’d shifted into the body of a girl scout in some desperate attempt of getting a dozen boxes of thin mints free of charge. But like a moth to a flame, it was the adrenaline that led him to do it. Shifting from one casino owner to the next, he’d committed fraud multiple times each night and donate the remainder of the money after he’d loaded up on hawaiian shirts and sugary snacks, to organisations working against mutant laws and discrimination. Like a modern day Robin Hood, only driving a rusted up old Chevrolet in dire need of a new paint job.

It’s a mixture of arrogance and a blimp in his concentration that causes it to all unravel. Facading as a beer bellied Elvis impersonator in one of the chapels, he’d spent the evening pick pocketing gambling money from unsuspecting intoxicated couples who’d been making poor life decisions. It was easy work which naturally meant he’d become sloppy, the sort of stupidity that lands him an evening in police custody and unable to show any identification on himself other than a driving license that matches his true appearance. Jackson Sawyer Raemers, born November 22nd in the state of Arizona, an individual with an outstanding warrant for his arrest and a suspected mutant. There’s no court trial, no mention of imprisonment or bail. Instead he’s transported overnight to a medical research facility, sedated and left to answer for his crimes in what he would deem to be the pits of hell.

He’s carefully monitored, pumped with medication and used as a lab rat for illnesses to watch how his mutation may help him to recover- if at all. Cut open and stitched together again, regular interviews for insights on his ability and encouraged with rewards to see how far he could push his powers under supervision. Of course those rewards never met anything more exciting than a pudding cup with lunch or a ten minute stoll in the security monitored outdoor area. The three years he’s trapped there he learns a few things about himself and his mutation; no matter how many times they tried they couldn’t replicate it in a tube, even with the ability of cell reconstruction this hadn’t granted him immunity from the common cold and pudding cups definitely weren’t worth the amount effort he’d been putting in for them.

It was entirely by chance that a group of enraged mutants in the facility had grouped together to form a riot. The building caught up in an intentional blaze that triggered cell doors to swing open and allow their occupants to vacate. With such a perfect diversion in place, Jackson takes his opportunity to escape by shifting into the appearance of one of the women who had been treating him. Able to use her fingerprints to unlock the exit, the first thing he does is hot wires the Mercedes in the parking lot and takes off back on the road. They say old habits die hard, much could be said the same for Jackson. How easily he fell back into his old games of identity theft as if three years worth of reflection had taught him nothing.

He returns to what he does best, only now it was personal, the lust of rebellion replaced with spite for those who had been disceting him like a science project. Jackson spends his time examining the faces that appear in the media voice against mutant rights and the research entrepreneurs that treated as nothing more than a paycheck. It’s how he finds himself in Chicago, rumoured a place that was almost a santuary for mutants where he’d be able to meet like minded individuals. And of course, it’s how he finds The Jem Family. He’s still not entirely sure why Damien had taken a liking towards him, his only redeemable factor being that he was reckless enough to not question any given orders in which other members may shudder at. It was an overwhelming sense of finally belonging to something, that he’d mattered outside of his own world and could really make a difference.  

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Luca Medoza: He finds them entertaining, his own laid back rebellion in contrast to something much bolder. Subtle versus out right in your face. He’d spend a lot of time with Luca, telling her what had happened in the latest true crime series he’d been watching and not minding too much when the only thing she picks up on was that he’d spent 10 hours straight binge watching on Netflix again.

Neve Kaplan: She’s the first person in a long time that he doesn’t hide any aspect of himself from. He let her see every aspect of his personality, the gritty details and forbidden secrets he hadn’t dared to share with anyone else. For a while she’d been his home, the missing part of the puzzle that could take the bitterness away and ease his own reckless behaviours, until she’s gone. It still stings when he see’s her, but it’s also a pleasant reminder that at least what he’d felt had been real.

Cain Douglas: He gets pleasure out of his visits and will show up even if the damage is nothing spectacular. He’s absolutely rolled up with a paper cut before and made it out as if he’d lost a limb over texts on his way there. Jackson gets most his kicks from aggravating the hell out of people and with Cain it was almost too easy. Although when he is genuinely hurt it does become a little more difficult of Cain to take him seriously with all the jokes he plays. Sometimes he’ll fake an injury just to get some advice, doctors and therapists are basically the same thing, right?

EXTRA: This section is completely optional. You can add anything here such as: more para samples, headcanons, mock blogs, edits, playlists, etc. Please note that because it is optional, putting everything or nothing in this section will not be a determining factor in your application. This is just for fun!

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-Jackson is obsessed with snacking, or any opportunity to stuff his face with food really. He’ll take it personal if you go out for a meal and he doesn’t get an invite.

-He can’t function without a morning coffee. 3 shots served black with one spoonful of sugar. He’ll have another at noon because he’s a night owl and eternally paying the price.

-He has a fear of blood, it makes him feel dizzy and he’s absolutely the worst person to have around if you were in a serious injury. He’d pass out before you would.

-Jackson can sing The Element Song by Tom Lehrer perfectly from memory.

-He has a habit of seeing the world from a very cynical perspective and is always anticipating the worst to happen in any given situation. It allows him to feel less surprised or out of control when things do turn sour.

-Jackson has a doberman named Bella, as in Bella Swan- he was trying to be funny

-He doesn’t trust easily and as a result he’s pretty distant. He’s always got a guard up and is very reluctant to let people into his life as most people that have seen the real him have resulted in negative connotation.

-He is allergic to shellfish so if someone wanted to kill him…

-He is always using humour and bad behaviour as a defense mechanism from people getting too close to see the real him.

-He had a stutter as a kid due to low self-esteem. It occasionally comes back when he’s stressed or upset. It’s one of the giveaways for his shapeshifting.

-Jackson is a reckless driver

-He’s obsessed with 1970s music

-Jackson is a hoarder, he collects a lot of pointless stuff like the top of bottle caps, funny slogan tshirts and cheap sunglasses from dollar stores

-He hates having to dress up formally, he feels like it draws attention to him and not in a funny showing off sort of way

-He has numerous tattoos and none of them were what you’d consider ‘good’, they’re shitty or only there to illustrate some pun or memory of a drunken evening. He’s upset some of the scars from the research facility have beheaded a hulahooping stick men on his leg.

ANYTHING ELSE: Did you have any questions or any changes you wanted to discuss with us beforehand?

FC change to Casey Deidrick

[beewishing]

i live in an apartment filled with bright, warm light. it has big windows and sheer curtains and i draw them aside often to let the light in. i have a view of plants and greenery and a beautiful sky. the window in my kitchen faces the sunrise and the window in my bedroom faces the sunset. i watch both frequently, letting the joy and awe of life and love and nature and beauty fill and complete me. my apartment is open and spacious, free of any heavy energy. it is decorated beautifully, showing signs of life and love throughout. it is filled with positive and loving energy. i feel good the second i walk in, knowing i’m home, in a space entirely my own. my room is bright and yellow, filled with softness and creature comforts. there are fairie lights everywhere, giving the room a soft and inviting nature. i am comfortable and uplifted in this space. i have a big, comfortable bed. it’s the most comfortable bed i’ve ever had, and i feel all the weight of the day lift from my shoulders as i sink into the mound of soft blankets. i have good, luxurious pillows that support my head and neck, letting me sleep in any position and waking up feeling amazing, no soreness anywhere in my body. i frequently have friends stay over, and we are comfortable together in my room, sharing space and energy, uplifting each other and basking in each other’s warm and loving presence. my love is with my most nights, we curl up in my bed talking about everything that comes to mind, completely open and honest, trusting and vulnerable. we enjoy each other’s presence completely, feeling safe and wanted, needed and cared for, in each other’s arms. we have our whole lives ahead of us, and we map them out in my bed, talking about our dreams and hopes, our deepest and truest desires, for ourselves and for each other and for us, together. we hold each other close, feeling love and affection swim between us, filling our whole bodies, all our senses. we are so comfortable and at ease in each other’s presence. we appreciate the time we get to spend together, every single second cherished and filled with gratitude for each other’s presence in our lives. my apartment has a balcony filled with thriving plants, giving off an air of budding life, constant growth. i go out on this balcony frequently, letting the fresh air wash over me, losing myself in the pure joy of being alive. i look at the world around me and am filled with so much love and inner peace. i have boundless excitement and happiness about my life, myself, my potential, my future, and each present moment. i decorate this balcony with comfortable chairs and soft lights and candles. i am able to completely relax and let go of worries.  i often have friends and new people over, and we sit on the balcony together, talking deep into the night. it is a place of easy and effortless connection, a place of deep and fulfilling honesty, a place to bare secrets and share joy and talk about everything that comes to mind. it is a place of deep, true, fulfilling connection. i have a cute kitchen filled with perfectly working appliances. being in my kitchen gives me energy and strong desire to cook for myself and others. i cook full, delicious, healthy meals. i eat regularly and healthily, choosing the best foods for my body, my health, and my mood. i pay attention to how the food i eat makes me feel, and keep only what makes me feel good in my house. i am able to effortlessly afford fresh ingredients and foods. i shop frequently at local shops and farmer’s market, eating healthy local foods, filling my body with sustaining nourishment that i enjoy and is good for me. i have a little table to sit at and cute dishes. i have sturdy cookware that is easy for me to maintain. my kitchen is a place of creation and joy, effortless energy goes into cooking and eating, as well as cleaning afterwards. my fridge is big enough to fit all the food i eat in it, and it’s decorated with cute magnets and stickers, pictures and notes. i have knick knacks around my windowsill and counters that fill me with happiness each and every time i look at them. light shines in on me through the window as i prepare, cook, eat, and clean. i feel amazing and at ease in my kitchen, inspired to make good food and bake sweet treats and breads. each morning i wake up with ease, feeling well rested and ready for the day ahead, filled with inner peace, happiness, and excitement. i leave my bed easily, not tempted to stay in bed all day, despite it’s comfort. i make delicious and energizing coffee using fresh ground beans and clean water. i have a morning ritual that i stick to diligently, letting it fill me with energy and balance. i wash my face as the coffee brews, feeling clean and fresh. i journal or write as i drink my coffee, often waking early enough to watch the sunrise through my kitchen window as i do so. i am mindful and grateful for each moment, each small pleasure, each day i receive so beautifully. my bathroom is big, with a full counter, big enough to stretch out on, and a huge mirror. i decorate my bathroom with fairy lights and ivy, soft bath rugs and cute decorations. my bath has a full tub, big enough to comfortably lay in for hours. i take baths often, delighting in the simple warmth and pleasure, using the space to think back on the pleasures of the day, to check in with myself, and to treat myself with care and kindness. my shower head is big and pressurized, with different settings that all feel amazing. i have a hot water tank big enough to take long, luxurious showers, as long as i want without the water running cold. i shower mindfully, never hesitating to get clean and feeling better each time i do. i have huge fluffy towels that feel amazing after i’ve showered, and i always remember to moisturize after the hot water on my skin. i have lotion that makes me soft and smooth and smelling amazing, and i use it frequently. the common areas of my apartment have hard wood or soft, plush, pleasant looking carpet. i love spending time out of room, out in the open, appreciating each room in my apartment. i have comfortable chairs and beautiful paintings and decorations in each of the rooms. i often have incense lit and my apartment smells amazing and feels entirely welcoming to everyone who enters, including myself. no one ever feels out of place or unwanted when they’re with me in my home, they know my life has space intended just for them, as does my heart and my mind. i appreciate everyone in my life so much, and make sure they know it through my words and actions. i make myself available to those in my life, as much as is healthy for both of us. my relationships are fulfilling and abundant, filled with love, care, kindness, and connection. i am close with the people in my life, able to talk and express myself easily with them, spending quality time with them doing things we both enjoy. we go new places, go on small adventures, go out to eat and drink and have fun, and stay in so i can cook for them or them for me, so we can talk privately and openly, honest and appreciative of the conversation and each other. i learn new things from and about the people in my life. we help each other to grow and mature, to learn and develop and experience so many wonderful moments together. we share good food and good drinks and do fun things. we go out to stores and shows, festivals and restaurants, movies and music, art galleries and museums, and just walking around aimlessly. we go wherever our indulgences take us, exploring the world around us, finding new delights in places we’d never have thought to go before. we go on bike rides and swing in parks, we go to the beach and walk through nature trails, we go to the library and read together, we go to picnics together in the park with fresh fruit and bread and healthy snacks that are as delicious as the moments themselves. love is abundantly present in every relationship, every day, every moment, every single aspect of my life. i never feel unloved or unwanted because i know there are so many people who love and want and care for me, including and most importantly myself. i am secure in my place as a person in this world, secure in each one of my relationships, secure in my image and refusing to rely on projections, allowing myself to be seen always as i truly am. and knowing that who i truly am is amazing and wanted and loved, and always enough. i prioritize and take mindful care of my physical and mental health, my overall well being. i do not engage in things that aren’t good for me, i do not engage with people who are not good for me, i let go of any and all self destructive tendencies and behaviors. i act only in my own best interest, while keeping in mind the best interest of those around me. i surround myself with people who match my true desires, my life path, and my vibrational frequencies. i surround myself with people devoted to healing, moving forward, doing good in the world and in themselves. i surround myself with people full of love and good intentions, towards me and towards themselves and towards the world and the people around them. i surround myself with people who are good for me, who will help me to grow and heal and become better with each day. i do the same for them. i engage only in mutually beneficial relationships, i do not engage in relationships that are one-sided or unhealthy. i accept and acknowledge that no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, and mistakes will always be made. i deal with these mistakes, imperfections, and upsets in a healthy and productive manner, having a conversation about how i feel and what will happen going forward. i do not let any issues fester or remain unresolved. i resolve issues with intentional care and conversation, communicating about any and all hurts and disappointments, and coming to a healthy resolution. i am loving, intimate, open, vulnerable, trusting, and constantly connecting with those i care about. my outward appearance reflects my inner self. i am easily able to present the way i want, allowing my presentation to shift day to day, minute to minute, whenever necessary in order to reflect my truest and deepest self. my gender presentation is as free and unlimited as my gender itself. i am easily able to afford and buy clothes that reaffirm my self image and my gender. i am pleased with my appearance when i look in the mirror, always. i truly love myself, the person i am both internally and externally. i love all aspects and facets of myself. i am unashamed of myself and my body, my mind and my intensity. i am free to be myself in every way, every place, every situation. i never hold myself back, and i refuse to allow anyone else to hold me back. i move forward with intention and ease, clarity and insight, a true and obvious path. i go on short trips frequently, whether driving aimlessly, going to a new city, a new state, a new country. i embrace adventure into my life, trying new things constantly, never turning down an opportunity for exploration or new experiences. my comfort zone is ever expanding, and i am always willing to try new things. i let go of anxiety and worry, allowing myself to enjoy each moment by being in it fully. i do not worry about what others think of me, i let them express it if they will, otherwise focusing on myself. focusing on how much i love myself, how happy i am to be me. focusing on the experience, being in the moment and basking in how lucky and blessed i am to live out such experiences. i meet new people and make intense connections. i don’t worry if these connections will last or fade, allowing them to be whatever they are, and enjoying them fully in doing so. i let go of expectations, allowing myself to be pleasantly surprised by every outcome. in driving aimlessly, i enjoy the feel of the wind on my face as we roll the windows down, admiring the scenery around us, talking about everything and nothing, listening to random radio stations as we shift from what comes in, enjoying the music and each other’s company and the road ahead of us. we stop someplace that looks interesting to eat, and we chat with the staff and other customers, enjoying conversation and new people and their new perspectives. we connect easily with those around us, enjoying the food and the company and the experience itself. we aren’t reluctant to leave, having enjoyed each moment without the expectation that it will last. sometimes we make new friends, staying in contact with those we meet through chance encounter. we always have good stories and fond memories to look back on. in going to new cities, we wander aimlessly, checking out shops and activities and finding beauty in it all. we don’t have any goal, we’re not looking for anything specific, just a meaningful and exciting experience. and we always find it. we see art and hear music and meet people we otherwise never would have. we see how different each place is, even when they look the same from the outside. we find something beautiful in each city we visit, something memorable to take home with us. sometimes we stay overnight, sleeping in the back of the car or in a hotel. we stay up late talking about the day, how fun and exciting it is to be somewhere we’ve never been before, somewhere no one knows us except each other. sometimes we make up stories about who we are, having fun crafting new realities, new selves. never with the pretense of lying, just having fun with our imaginations and the way perceptions shift. we’re endlessly creative in our adventures, finding hidden spots and beautiful things, beautiful and interesting people. we are endlessly comfortable with each other, basking in the presence of someone so familiar and loved. we’re never uncomfortable and we part before we could possibly get tired of each other’s presence. we learn new things about each other and ourselves, have meaningful and silly conversations, and everything in between. we sit outside and make art, paint and write and sing and dance. we experience life fully, embracing it and cultivating it. we are affectionate and intimate with each other, growing closer and closer, strengthening our bond and connection. we touch frequently and casually, meaningfully and with care. we touch each other’s faces and hold hands and have such casual and loving intimacy with each other. we don’t worry about what other’s think of us, certain in our own understanding. we take pictures, of ourselves and each other and everything around us. we make memories and make sure they’re documented and we don’t let this documentation overpower the experience, only enhance it. i get new piercings and new tattoos, and have fun with my appearance. i allow my visual identity to be fluid, changing as often as i’d like. i always have money and opportunity to change my appearance. money flows easily and constantly to me, it is a constant present in my life, and i never have to worry about having enough because i know i am abundant, prosperous, wealthy, and taken care of. my needs are always met. my desires are always fulfilled. i am able to indulge without guilt in what is good for me. i support creatives and am supported in return. my career flourishes, both writing and spiritual. i am published frequently and i am proud of myself. i know i and my writing are deserving and full of talent. i write and create constantly, i don’t let anything take my creativity or passion from me. i finish all the projects i start, finding joy and pride in the completion, the fruition of my efforts. i create things i am proud of, and i do not dismiss their worth. i tend to my writing with care, allowing it to grow and experiment, allowing it to be playful and joyful just as often as it is serious and intense. i don’t limit myself or my abilities for creation. i allow myself to be as expressive and creative as possible.