#we all have our rtd moments

[tanoraqui]

obviously the Historical Figure Episode(TM) of Doctor Who that I’d write would of the Noted Author subset endemic to the RTD Era; it’d be called “Spiders in the Trenches” and be set in the middle of World War One ft. one Lt. John Tolkien.

idk if the main aliens are spiders or if they're just using giant robotic spiders as soldier-minions. Either way, Tolkien is a little too defensive when he says he's not afraid of spiders.

The alien invaders want some sort of shiny mcguffin, maybe as a power source for their ship? Or for a mega-weapon? We do not want them to get it, at any rate. Race to find the Shiny Power Jewel-Thing which has been lost somewhere in this like 20-mile radius of the Western Front.

When our heroes narrowly beat the spiders to the SPJT, Tolkien realizes that the spiders only ever attack at night because light hurts them somehow, so he holds the SPJT up as it flares and shouts, "Get back, foul creatures! Back into the shadows from whence you came!"

(They're from the dark side of a tidally locked planet, and made for extremely low-light conditions? The SPJT flares because it's controlled telepathically and it connected to Tolkien's mind when he touched it?)

Ideally Tolkien's first encounter with the Doctor is that he wakes up in the trench one day (after losing some men to a mysterious monster in the darkness a couple nights ago?), and there's 2 random strangers in weird clothes idly singing and playing an instrument which they stole from someone a couple bedrolls down. (This works well with Fifteen & Ruby's established inclination to music!)

We do need an Eowyn Moment, because that's iconic, but I'd split it: for dialogue, at one point the head boss evil alien boasts, "No human can defeat the Tenebrarachnid Empire!" and the Doctor replies, "Good thing they've got me, then."...

[I don't know if this is a Fifteen line yet. I know it's a very Eleven line]

...and there's a soldier in Tolkien's unit who is revealed to be secretly a woman! Who disguised herself as a man in order to enlist for ??? reasons, and who dramatically pulls off her hat to reveal her long hair.

The third notable local character is the sort who inspired Sam Gamgee, "...the English soldier, [like] the privates and batmen I knew in the 1914 war, and recognized as so far superior to myself.”

^those two can have a romantic subplot if it fits (comrades-in-arms is also extremely good). Tolkien, however, at some point shows Ruby the picture of his wife Edith which he carries at all times, she of the black hair and bright grey eyes, and is obviously ready to monologue about how wonderful she is.

In the same scene(?), Tolkien looks up at the stars and says their brightness shining afar, clear of all the horrors on the ground, is always a source of hope and strength to him.

Maybe also in the same scene? Tolkien is shown to make up stories for fun, or to read them in his little spare time - fairy tales and mythological epics. Maybe he tells them to the men around the fire, maybe he keeps a little notebook, maybe he just admits to daydreaming... When asked why, he paraphrases his quote from later life, " Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?"

At some point (Star-watching scene? when the Doctor inevitably has to explain that aliens exist? when they're all saying goodbye in the end?) there's a line drawing attention to the Doctor's parallels with Eärendil - eternally wandering figure of hope, sailing the stars in a ship with a light on top, not quite mortal...

Tolkien DEFINITELY tries to figure out the alien language, in writing or speech.

Something the aliens are doing is making people sick. Maybe the attacking robo-spiders are venomous, maybe there's a toxic byproduct of the alien ship, maybe it's a deliberate first assault of the planned invasion... By the end of the episode, Tolkien is very ill. The Doctor has figured out an antidote and given it, but Tolkien says goodbye to him and Ruby only to stumble to a medical outpost - from where, the Doctor explains to Ruby, he'll be sent home with this bad case of what's assumed to be trench fever. Between the fever and the brief psychic entanglement, and unentanglement, with the SPJT, he won't even remember most of this, and what he does remember, he'll put down to fever dreams amidst the horrors of war.

But he'll remember some things! He'll remember an eternal wanderer of the stars, unaging and undying and ever-hopeful, heralded by light (and a vworrrp vrorrrp noise).

[stompandhollar]

I have some….. harsh(?) words for rtd.

I miss when Doctor Who was scrappy. Where the working class was at the forefront of our story. Where the hero had a broken time machine and one shitty little gadget that only sometimes could do anything useful. When the TARDIS was cobbled together with glue sticks and a dream.

Rose as a story worked because it was paired down. ALL of good DW works when it’s paired down. The stakes aren’t the whole world or the whole universe ending. The charm and the stakes both come from the same place— focusing on the characters, and making their problems the central focus. Blink was stunning because the world wasn’t in danger, just Sally Sparrow, and for 40 minutes of runtime, she was the focus of the viewer’s world.

The “base under siege” episodes work because it matters just as much to us that the Doctor gets the crew to safety as it would if the whole universe were in danger.

Even Utopia works because while being a high-stakes-for-humanity episode, it’s focused heavily on each character, and on concepts, not flashy visuals and dramatic build ups with no payoff. Utopia has exactly the right level of stakes for the story it’s telling, and the twist at the end delivers because it’s on that same level.

Ncuti is phenomenal. He and Millie are the only reason I’m sticking around (with s14, not with DW. I metaphorically sold my soul to this show a long time ago and that’ll never change) and watching each new episode with the hope that it’ll get better. But good gracious we do not have a lot of substantial evidence to back that hope up right now, lol.

The dialogue is hollow because we don’t sit with any characters long enough for their emotional moments to hit home. These brilliant actors can’t even save the scripts they’re being given.

I liked Rouge so much because it felt so bottled within its own episode. The stakes seemed so low, and it was fun and campy and the energy was electric. But I’m disappointed all over again with the Marvel-ization of the show in the newest episode. We saw it in the 60th specials, and it’s back swinging again in TLORS.

We don’t want Stark Tower SHIELD UNIT and their big flashy technology to save the day. The Doctor running straight to UNIT for help at all was crazy to me.

Part of me got so excited when Death was revealed as the big bad. The deluded part of my brain immediately thought we’d get a paired down concept of Death, like in the Big Finish Master audio drama. And I still really hope that happens, or is at least a little bit alluded to. (or maybe not. maybe i want to write that story myself some day when i’m in the damn writers room for this silly perfect show) But as soon as they got my hopes up, they got dashed again five seconds later when it became evident how overpowered and goofy and trope-y our big bad is shaping up to be.

RTD shines when he’s writing characters full of hope and wonder and a need to see the stars. Moffat shines when he’s writing twisted little think pieces that show the indomitable human spirit. Both of them have had my heart and changed my life with their writing. And right now I need them both to take a back seat and pass the baton. Russel keeps trying to outdo himself, and it’s all become too grandiose.

We need a writer in that room that doesn’t care how The Doctor is going to save the world next, but instead, cares about how he’s going to save that one person right in front of him, who needs his help, now.

[time-is-restored]

What Happened At The Church On Ruby Road?

AKA: Why does RTD want us to watch Ruby's first episode with a ruler and protractor?

Alright, so since I read this article excerpt yesterday night I haven't been able to stop thinking about what trick could be hidden in the sequence between the cloaked woman, the doctor, and baby ruby. While I'm not at all claiming to know the answer, I have a few details to point out that might help with further analysis.

First of all: A Continuity Error (On Purpose?)

At the very beginning of TCORR, when the doctor's giving his 'once upon a time,' speech, we see the TARDIS materialise + the doctor appear, looking in the direction of the cloaked woman, looking distraught. Disney+ is evil so I can't get an accurate screenshot, so take this scuffed photo instead, taken from 1:03. You can see a tear rolling down his cheek (little white dot on the left of his face, in line w this nose).

Later in the episode, when the doctor materialises in the scene for the first time, there is no tear. It's a marginally different shot in several ways, but that's the most noticable to me - screenshot taken from 42:59.

By itself, this is totally negligible. But I think when taken with the opening monologue (which heavily implies that the doctor finds out the cloaked woman's identity - "As for the mother, she was never seen again. No one ever knew her name, until that night a time traveller came to call. A traveller known as the Doctor."), there is possible evidence here that the doctor came to this moment twice. Once in the sequence of events as we see them, rescuing Ruby from the goblins, and once where... something else happened.

Second: The Layout of The Church

We get a few aerial shots of the church when the camera is showing the ascent of the ship, and a lovely wide shot as the doctor decides to not follow the cloaked woman (taken from 46:28 and 44:07).

The most important thing I want to point out is the way the hedge path curves to the right in the direction the doctor and the cloaked lady are facing. You can only really see it in that one shot (so I hope it's not a lens effect!). The aerial shot helps clarify that nothing is obstructing either of the character's view of the church.

We can also see that in this iteration of their encounter, the cloaked woman is standing a little bit to the right of the doctor (thanks to the curved path).

Third: The Timing

The only real indication of how much real time is passing in each scene is the clock striking midnight. So, when does that happen?

In the opening sequence, the clock strikes midnight after the man from the church has found Ruby and picked her up. We then see the woman relatively far down the road that we can see in that above screenshot, and THEN we see the TARDIS apparate and the Doctor appear.

In the goblin sequence, the woman is already far down the road well before it hits midnight, as the doctor sees her walking away before he runs to save baby ruby. Obviously time moves slower than usual in TV actions scenes, but that's not all - we see the clock strike midnight before the man from the church picks Ruby up.

Furthermore, the woman has... barely moved at all in those few minutes. Screenshots from 43:00 and then 46:45.

Okay, that should be all the relevant information from TCORR. Now to get to that point!

Fourth: The Point

This is where things go off the fucking rails. Here's our orienting shots for the Point.

Just to compare the positions of the doctor's shot here, here's the last shot we have of him looking at the lady in TCORR:

While this could just be a fancy camera angle, I think the Doctor is standing more to (his) left of the TARDIS than in this above shot. AKA: he's standing more to the left than she is. That emphasises that, if the woman was to be pointing at him when she turns around, she should be pointing to her right.

But I don't think she is -- especially in that wide shot, her arm looks like it's going wide. It's going more to the left than it should be. If RTD hadn't explicitly said the 'who's pointing at who' was significant, I would be fine with accepting that she's pointing at the doctor -- especially since that's how the doctor reads it.

And if we go back to the layout of the church, the things she could be pointing at are, in order of exactly how far to the left she'd have to point:

something just behind the doctor (would explain how close the point is to him)

the path up to the church

the clock tower

ruby/the baby

Regardless of where she's pointing, I think the implication is that there's someone else at the scene, doing something that the doctor didn't notice (perhaps due to his own bias with mother figures).

Wild Speculation:

Now, what do I think this means? Honestly, no idea LOL. It's still all just vague enough it could go in fifty different directions. But we know for sure that the moment where Ruby Sunday was left at the church is a moment in flux, thanks to the the Doctor's memory changing + the song in the background being different in Devil's Chord.

Part of me wonders if there's something (someone?) hiding inside that memory/moment in time? Like how Thirteen hid her companions inside their own time stream to try and buy time away from the swarm guys? It would explain the Maestro's reaction -- 'he couldn't have been there[...] on the night of her birth' -- in the devil's chord, the young boy is a harbinger. Maybe ruby is the harbinger of something too? That could also explain why it started snowing in the TARDIS after 15 scanned her -- the same thing happened when Maestro started trying to pull out her song.

Then if you go with the changeling angle, it's entirely possible we're about to get a shell game with babies 2: electric boogaloo (thanks russel for saying we should rewatch a good man goes to war, i'll never sleep again 👍). Maybe while the doctor's too busy watching the cloaked woman, someone else is intervening, switching her baby for ruby? Or doing something To her baby that explains why ruby is so... wrong, for lack of a better word?

Also, looking between the opening sequence vs the goblin sequence timing, we have several minutes where the cloaked woman is totally unaccounted for in the latter, as well as an entire interaction between her and the doctor that... didn't happen? Or did happen, but was forgotten? Unwritten? Rewritten? Etc.?

If I had to make a bet (and let's be honest, what else are we doing while theorising LOL), I'd say that something about that night has been memory-holed out of existence. Possibly a doomed timeline that righted itself, ala 73 yards, but left just enough trace that the people involved know something happened (ruby knows she's been to wales three times before, the doctor knows he was pointed at).

I think it was triggered when the lady and the doctor got too close to each other (did she hear that the goblin ship was taking her baby? did she turn around and see something she otherwise would have missed?), and realised something about each other (or ruby?) that needed to stay dormant. the cold opening implies the doctor learns her name, and since there don't appear to be any time of the angels sneaky outfit change moments, i can only assume it happened here, somewhere in this memory.

And hell, in for a penny in for a pound, maybe it all got undone (retconned, in universe, in real time), because the Doctor shouldn't learn about the cloaked woman until the finale? Spoilers? In TV meta, did the director tell all the other actors (the church man + the cloaked lady) to hold in place until the doctor was back in position?

[Final note, regarding the continuity error I noted first up, in TV shows with ad breaks factored in -- brief fades to black at dramatic moments, then the last ten seconds play again to remind the audience what's happening -- sometimes directors would use different takes for before and after the ad break. Maybe that's the explanation for the tear -- in universe, that cold open stopped in its tracks the moment the opening was cued to play. It then started again with a doctor who had last cried several minutes ago, and the scene played out as intended.]

Anyway fellow 'the mistakes are in there on purpose' believers how are we FEELING!!!!!

[nipuni]

Doctor Who status report! Writing these I'm realizing I only ever feel compelled to share my opinions on media when they are positive lmao makes for rather boring commentary probably!! but I only care to share the things I love, I would be a lousy critic 😆

We are half way through S7 and I can say now that S6 was a big improvement from S5 for us! It was really fun! we have been rating every episode and keeping season average scores and S5 was the lowest we ranked so far out of all but it was still enjoyable honestly! Someone in the comments in one of my reports mentioned that each doctor's first season is usually their worst one and I'm also noticing this! I think Ten's first season was his lowest ranked out of his three for us too even though all his run was super high. Matt seems more comfortable in his doctor's portrayal by now and he is also more goofy which I personally always love 🥰

S6's arc had us terrified and puzzled the whole time it was very engaging!! and some of the episodes were devastating like "The girl who waited" and just everything about River Song always, The Silence creatures are so unnerving and cool and it had a ton of really classic episodes with great concepts. We were kind of disappointed with "the doctor's wife" episode though I'm a bit mad about it because I feel it had some great ideas but the way some elements were handled ruined it for us (mainly the Tardis's whole characterization and the Doctor's reactions to the situation felt so flat and out of character it was weird) so much wasted potential! but overall it was a great season!

Then S7 so far we watched up to "The bells of saint john" and our favourite has been "The angels take Manhattan" we love the concept of the Weeping angels and this one was terrifying and back to their original lore! and the ending was so unexpected! We also met Clara and I love her too honestly I'm terrible at rating companions because I love them all I think they all bring something new and special to the story I end up loving everyone 😭 We have seven episodes left with Eleven ahhhh time to suffer another regeneration soon!!

About the writing I think as we watched we grew more used to the differences and they became less jarring, though when I think back to the RTD era I feel I loved it because of the writing while now I sometimes I feel that I love it despite the writing, if that makes any sense? I still do love it but it feels like wrestling with Moffat a bit! lmao. He gets a bit repetitive and too on the nose and ..weird about women and overly grandiose at times still but now we know to expect it 🤣

Also another unrelated observation but we feel that Eleven seems younger than Ten in many ways. I know their personalities are supposed to change and they are not necessarily linear but it's something curious we both noticed! And Eleven is such a clingy soft little man!! baby!! very cute!! I love him I'm excited to see how the change to Twelve is going to feel!! I have no idea what to expect from Twelve I'm so curious!!

We are consuming this series so fast and we don't want it to end!! 😭 I have such a gigantic backlog of art I want to make about it by now, I keep thinking of ideas as I go and I don't have the time to draw them yet because of work!! AAAAA the moment I meet the last of my current deadlines it's over for you all!!

Anyway that was very long I'll go make dinner and watch some more 🥰 I hope you all have a good night and a great start of the week!

[decepti-thots]

☕ MTOs & specifically what do you think they were going for with that?

MTOs are an interesting narrative thing to me in the sense that they really are so localised to only one part of the canon; they're very clearly Roberts' idea and only really matter, inasmuch as they do matter, in MTMTE. It's pretty clear to me that's the case for one specific reason: they'd actually fit SUPER well into the narrative arc of exRiD, especially early-to-mid RiD, but they basically never come up! You'd think 'neutrals and soldiers stuggling to cohabit socially and politically' would be prime fodder (lmao) for taking advantage of a narrative about mechs born of and into war coming back to a civilian life on a planet they really don't know. And yet.

What they're doing in that comic, in MTMTE, is a little headscratching to me at times. It feels, to be honest, somewhat like worldbuilding put in to make the texture of the backstory of the war feel grander than IDW had really managed up to that point in actual on-panel stuff, without a lot of thought when doing so in the moment as to the knock on implications going forward. MTMTE does this a few times, tries to use vague gestures at important sounding stuff to bring a greater sense of history and depth to the war in the face of the actual stuff we saw in phase one being. Mmmm. Basically just twenty dudes we already know shooting at each other across parking lots. LMAO.

(Sidenote: I know for a fact Roberts watched original flavour nuWho, and this is PEAK Russell T Davies doing worldbuilding when he was on Doctor Who, and I fully believe he was cribbing from that playbook. Every damn episode RTD would make them just sort of say stuff about the Time War that made it sound incredibly vast and textured and complex but which, crucially, never made any actual fucking sense. Good examples of stuff like this would be the Crucible, the Simanzi massacre, etc. This is, to be clear, a neutral observation, not praise or criticism per se.)

I say this because MTOs should probably be a bigger deal in terms of the impact on our cast, and their outlook on life and reasons for joining the quest, than they wind up being. An MTO is a character with no experience of living in peacetime at all, likely no experience of Cybertron, no sense of kinship or home necessarily to the planet they came "back" to. All of this provides a really clear motivation, given the implication most surviving non-neutral Cybertronians are now MTOs due to huge numbers of deaths, to join a quest like the Lost Light's! But it tends not to come up much, and I think it's because it wasn't really part of the plan. Later on, there's room to slot in some details here and there- Riptide talking about his experiences with being infodumped at by the 'training' comes to mind- but it takes a while for the comic to come back round to that.

The two big exceptions, of course, are Getaway and Brainstorm. The idea is definitely interacting with their characters more, though again, it... tends to come up later. Especially for Getaway, who I'm not convinced was originally conceived as an MTO, but had it slotted in a bit later as 'well that works' stuff tbh. (And it does, so that's fine!) Which leaves Brainstorm, who lies about being forged to throw off suspicion, who it's implied never got the time of day from Quark in a way I wouldn't be surprised we're supposed to assume is some kind of remaining bias, perhaps. Who didn't see a future for himself 'back on Cybertron' and so concocted a very weird plan to avoid having to. Who never got a choice about his 'side' in the war, and wound up with no real loyalty for anyone.

I think if there's any avenue I'd have liked to see more about MTOs via, it's Brainstorm. I wish there'd been more room to focus on that instead of (I'm so sorry shippers) his thing with Perceptor as the way to talk about his sense of inadequacy, tbh. What did it feel like, lying to Chromedome about remembering a pre-war life he never got a chance to experience? Being made to shoot people and be shot and escaping the fate of having that be the only thing he ever knew by the skin of his teeth? Not being able to imagine an end to the war, so all he wants to do is save one guy and run off with him as a pipe dream? That seems like the character where a lot of this stuff should naturally lie, to me. And I think it's a shame I've seen very little talk in fandom about it!

[group-dynamic]

Script Doctoring(?) Doctor Who Season 1

Here’s how I would fix the thematic and mystery box issues of this season of Doctor Who while keeping almost everything else the same.

This season would refocus on the thematic tension between Ruby with her desire to find her birth mother and the Doctor’s avoidance of finding Susan. By adding a few choice moments in the Tardis at the beginning and end of certain episodes where Ruby tries to convince the Doctor that finding Susan is important, you would add some really nice character development and even tension to Ruby and the Doctor’s relationship and get to more explicitly explore and discuss some of the big thematic ideas that this season ostensibly centered around like family and fear of abandonment /rejection.

I also think that having the god of death in this season doesn’t make much sense in terms of the themes, so I would probably swap out Sutekh for the Trickster as many others suggested. With the Trickster, you could have the narrative-manipulating, story-changing surrounding Ruby make a lot more sense in universe. This could then better match with the idea that Russell already had: that we imbue things with importance and can thus rewrite our own narratives. Imagine Ruby as central to the finale because her desire to rewrite the false narrative in a positive way could directly counter the negative attempts to rewrite the narrative by the Trickster. Thus, she’s still just an ordinary person as RTD intended, but she is learning to overcome her fear of rejection and abandonment by fixing the negative story that both her own mind and the Trickster have written about her life as she knows she is worthy of love, there’s nothing inherently wrong with her, etc. (A great opportunity to make Carla‘s inclusion narratively significant, too, as she actively contributes to this!)

This would also make the moment where the Doctor cautions Ruby against reconnecting with her birth mother a more meaningful emotional payoff, because Ruby isn’t afraid to try reconnecting with her mother and it goes so well despite the Doctor’s own fears. This could serve as a turning point for the Doctor as he realizes that getting over your fear of rejection can lead you to new avenues for happiness and connection.

Then, instead of having a sorrowful “the doctor is always alone” ending to the season, have the last line of this season be the music swelling triumphantly and the doctor declaring that, yes, he’s going to go find Susan. This would show the actual impact that Ruby had on him and allow his character to go through some growth rather than end up where they’ve always been. (Plus, what a fun teaser to leave the audience on haha.)

You could then spend the second season, (which was ordered at the same time as season 1) on the Doctor trying to track down any clues of where Susan is. So, the season-long arc would become the doctor looking for Susan, but getting sidetracked in the typical adventure of the week.

NOW you can justify Sutekh as the big bad for this second season. If the doctor is actively looking for Susan, it makes a lot more sense that Sutekh would use her to lure the Doctor in and more devastating when it’s revealed Susan Triad isn’t her. Thematically, this works because the Doctor claims to have never reconnected with Susan before because they were terrified that they would either hurt Susan or she would already be dead, so the big bad being death this time around would haunt him: The Doctor is too late and it’s all his fault.

In terms of the “I am life, and you are death” theme, this also makes a lot more sense within a context of actively trying to find Susan, because the doctor is so afraid that he brings death, but the fact that Susan exists at all (and perhaps he finds her or some evidence of her life) in addition to the amazing family he’s built across time and space rallying around him (like Ruby, Mel, Kate, and Rose which justifies a unit based episode AND the memory Tardis as the Doctor’s equivalent of Carla’s wall of photos of her foster kids) is proof that he isn’t a “harbinger of death.” That all of us defeat death when we choose love and support for ourselves and offer it to others. Self indulgently, I would love a conversation between the Doctor and Cherry about family and found family, too. Imagine how wonderfully thematic it would be if this ordinary woman gave the doctor what he needed physically and spiritually to save the day: grandmother to grandfather. Heck, maybe she is the one who gives him the spoon. A teaspoon in fact :).

So anyway, those are the big changes that I think you could make and leave literally everything else the same to get a better emotional payoff and prevent the audience from feeling a little robbed by the mystery boxes.

[carouselunique]

i remember you criticised Resolution for playing into stereotypes about absent Black fathers. do you think doing a storyline about the Doctor abandoning his family (as touched on in The Devil's Chord) with the first mainline Black Doctor plays into that stereotype as well.

It’s complicated because I do think that’s a terrible stereotype to play with especially with the absence of black writers in the room which was a problem across both the Chibnall Era for the most part and the RTD II Era thus far (he has promised to change that however we can’t take what’s promised to be represented offscreen into account for what’s happening at the moment because we don’t have that yet…) and I do think this being touched on immediately is a case of bad timing, trying to marry the Chibnall Era with the RTD II Era and not having enough black voices in the room.

That being said, I also think there is a responsibility as well to not treat the character as being a complex being with years and years of story including mistakes just because they’re our first real example of diversity and I do appreciate that RTD II isn’t doing what Chibnall Era did with the Thirteenth Doctor and taking their Doctor and refusing to do interesting and complicated things with the character because they have to represent a sudden inclusion of a demographic. That feels offensive to me that because a character is representation we can’t do anything real with them because we’re not treating them as real people.

So in that sense I can see the throughline they’re trying to connect and appreciating that they are trying to reckon with and address the Susan/One situation because it did suck and also it does seem to have a relationship to the character background they’re setting up for Ruby. And I appreciate that they’re trying to give the Doctor his whole background for better or worse, not treating him as a full reboot but a soft reboot that still has a whole history and he IS this character. I just think maybe I personally would have chosen writers to reflect the character if they’re going to write this sort of thing.

What was bad about Chibnall Era doing this story was that they just DID IT and seemed to never address all the ways Ryan’s background was kind of… racist. Killing off Grace for Graham’s development largely, Ryan’s mother dead and Ryan’s father a deadbeat meaning his strongest connection was all about his white grandad. If the RTD II Era going forward does it’s due care in representing the story, then I won’t have the same issues with it.

[dontbelasagne]

"did we ever stop to think...what the hell?"

as much as i admire RTDs attempt to give The Doctor some emotional closure for their collective past traumas, im just confused as to how this fits in with them simply having been Twelve?? the whole point of that incarnation was having the veil lifted, seeing The Doctor for who they actually are, a weary traveller with no home who didnt stop running because they dare not look back in fear of what they have seen. people mistake Twelves attitude with rudeness or being direct, but i always took that as the tiredness The Doctor felt. how after all this time they're fed up of false hope and the lies of "what if". the time war left them more broken than ever and Nine, Ten, and Eleven ignored what it had done to them up until the moments they couldn't. sure Nine and Ten wore their grief and sorrow on their sleeves, but it was so important to see how Eleven kept up their cheery and juvenile persona because if they weren't filling their time with how wondrous everything is, there'd be nothing left but to dwell on how ragged the past couple centuries have left them. Even finding the Ponds and the comfort of family never cured that anguish inside them, when the only way was to confront what their time meant in this universe. The Doctor looked young not just for their companions, but to live a life of quiet melancholy. no one expects the young to have experienced grief, so how could they with that sort of appearance?

but along came Twelve with their big sad eyes, charismatic honestly, and willingness to not let past horrors be relived. for the first time in a long while they were unsure and afraid of who they are. whether kindness was something that they were allowed to hold for others. whether their hazardous life was actually worth all the potential heartbreak and ghosts of future loss. they were stubborn and ruthless because they cared so much about saving people, saving anyone they can. The Doctor chose that face because it would be hard to lie to themselves when it was already grey and wrinkled from years of never having stopped. sure, even in their twelfth incarnation The Doctor rarely paused to consider what being so close to others would mean. how much it would hurt to have another learn what the life of a time traveller led to. how maybe being The Doctor was more about saving someone, even if it didn't mean everyone. it was a face of harsh reality, with emotions on full display and nothing to hide behind.

Twelve got their face to tell themselves who they still are, and im just a little annoyed we got a rehash of tentoo rtd era fanfic bigeneration to give The Doctor a "happy ending" when thats not the point of them as a character. The Doctor is always running to others before they fade, and part of why this show is amazing is the constant reminder that everything ends, but everything begins again...and it's always happy. we got that hope of renewal with Thirteen. the idea that having grief does not make you a tiresome character, but what you do with that history and the nuance that follows every decision that matters. how it didnt matter if you still stumbled and faltered in your reach towards something better. how easy it could be to crumble at the first hurdle and close yourself off again. how Thirteen desperately wanted to keep to their promises of kindness and hope. how they had made the important steps toward moving on.

regeneration meant passing on the torch, one face telling the other i trust you with our heavy heart, now keep running and love all. it just feels like we have lost that.

[thewadapan]

Launch codes to nuke "73 Yards" from orbit - Doctor Who review

CW: discussion of rape

So I've been watching a lot of Moffat Doctor Who lately, which is broadly dogshit, but each new episode of Russel T. Davies' return to the show's helm is really pushing the boundaries of what it means to create bad television. I actually would believe that this is part of a grand plan to destroy the BBC from the inside, by blowing millions of pounds on a singularly dreadful Disney+ show, but RTD's original run on Doctor Who was also much worse than people are typically willing to acknowledge, so this is obviously nonsense.

"73 Yards" has apparently proven very divisive, with some people lauding it as one of the best Doctor Who episodes in ages (this means nothing to me, I didn't watch any of Chibnall's stuff), and some people taking a CinemaSins-esque "look at all these plot holes!!!" approach to criticising it. This essay definitely resembles the latter, but I want to clarify right away that I don't care about plot holes in and of themselves. If a story coheres on a metaphorical level, I can overlook nonsense plotting. Any given Doctor Who episode, including many of my favourites, will have at least a few major plot holes. It's like swiss cheese, the holes are the hole point!

The thing is, this episode is like a block of swiss cheese which is all holes. As in, there's no cheese there, just an empty plate. It neither furthers the overarching plot of the series, nor reveals anything substantive about the characters. If you watch Doctor Who for the vibes, you can perhaps get something out of the spooky images and buy into the intended emotional content of each scene. That has unironically always been the best way to watch Doctor Who and enjoy it without becoming incandescent with a kind of impotent, essay-provoking fury—so genuinely, good for you if you're able to do that. I just kind of think that it's possible for television to be good, so.

The episode is titled "73 Yards" for the distance our companion du jour, Ruby Sunday, finds herself at all times in this episode from a strange indistinct cognitohazardous woman, who follows her at a "semperdistance" (a word coined by the episode in an excruciating scene where an old lady goes, "well, I don't think there's a word in the English language like that, so to coin one from Latin, it would probably be 'semper distant', meaning 'always distant'"). I knew immediately what this title referred to the moment the woman appeared—great, I roll my eyes, at some point Ruby is going to walk past a really big ruler, and she'll go oh my word, why that woman, she's exactly 73 yards away from me!

At the start of the episode, the Doctor and Ruby step out of the TARDIS and—after a very conspicuous bit of exposition about a dangerous future Prime Minister from Wales—they almost immediately accidentally break a magic circle. Doctor Who has always struggled with one dissonant bit of narrative convenience, which is that no matter where the TARDIS goes, there's always some horrible ghastly supernatural alien shit going on. While writers have attempted to justify this in-universe, really it's just the anthropic principle of the show's narrative: if the TARDIS were to arrive in a normal boring inoccuous place, why would we watch that episode? We have to take it for granted that they're going to stumble onto something—and RTD increasingly seems disinterested in wasting time explaining the contrivance each episode—so in this case, it's that a magic circle happens to be right there underfoot and they step on it. Call it a "coincidence", fine, I gather that's what the series mytharc is about this time around. Now, later in the episode, the story seems to want to strongly suggest that the curse is a consequence of Ruby's actions—she has disrespected the magic—but as originally presented, it seems more like she's completely oblivious to the presence of the magic until it's too late. Ruby doesn't actually exert any agency in this introduction, nor in most of the episode, so the breaking of the circle fails to reveal anything about her character. By the same metric, I think most ordinary people would behave pretty much the same way, so this really tells us nothing about who Ruby is.

At this point, the Doctor disappears because of magic. The TARDIS remains, but without the Doctor, is inaccessible to Ruby. In just the preceding episode, "Boom", one of the many scenes in its already-bloated denouement saw Ruby being given a TARDIS key, which she tries in this episode, and it doesn't work, showing the viewer that this is spooky magic bullshit. I think this is bad showrunning, because the ending of "Boom" seriously needed trimming, so why bother if it only creates the narrative busywork of needing to show "and the key doesn't work" in this one? Why not have the Doctor give her the key after an episode with a beat similar to this, where Ruby needs to get into the TARDIS but can't, and he wants to stop it from ever happening again: "don't worry, the TARDIS doors will always open for you from now on!" As written, it strikes me as very clumsy plotting.

Ruby walks down the cliffside and encounters a hiker, who is actually the mysterious old lady who's recurred in every episode of this series in seemingly unrelated circumstances. This mytharc structure is the only kind I have ever seen RTD even attempt; Moffat rarely does better, but at least on occasion will take a token stab at tying the mytharc easter-egg into the themes of his series or individual episodes. (The crack is really, really good for this.) This time, Ruby recognises the woman on some level, to clue an inattentive audience into the fact that "ah, I guess this character was in the previous episodes, and maybe I was supposed to notice, because that might be relevant in some future episode!" No threat of it being relevant this episode, of course. Anyway, this hiker makes a bit of fuss about how Ruby's not dressed for the weather. I don't recall if the episode intends to suggest that the weather has suddenly turned evil after the circle was broken, or if Ruby and the Doctor arrived on a windswept cliff by accident, or if Ruby really is just ill-prepared—none of this is interesting.

Poor Millie Gibson has been given nothing but terrible material this episode, but where better actors have managed to salvage this kind of fare in prior episodes, she's not really up to the task here. Apparently this was the first episode she filmed for the show, which is a baffling decision—how is she supposed to establish the character without any series regulars to bounce off of? Why would you lead with an episode that's very pointedly building off a relationship developed over the course of the rest of the show? Regardless, between the script and Gibson's performance, not a single interaction where she talks about her stalkerly apparition to another person is remotely plausible as a way any real person would actually behave in this situation. I'm not even sure she tries to approach the follower at any point? She clearly tries to communicate with it, but it refuses to acknowledge her. This is Ruby's fifth adventure with(out) the Doctor, it should by this point be obvious that the woman is supernatural, dangerous, and related to the magic circle in some way: but the episode at this point seems to suggest this hasn't really occurred to her yet. Or, perhaps, that it has occurred to her, and she just thinks the hiker wouldn't believe her—but then if she does already think this is spooky magic, why does she throw the hiker under the bus by asking her to go talk to the entity? The entity ignores the hiker, and then lo and behold, the hiker is suddenly subjected to some kind of supernatural effect that causes her to flee screaming. How unexpected!

Oh well. Ruby continues to the village and goes into a pub, commencing the worst scene in the episode by a significant margin. In terms of set design, this pub is the kind of sterile nondescript establishment The World's End mercilessly lampooned, but I don't get the impression this was the intended effect. A half-dozen stereotypes inhabit the bar, all seeming to know each other, all dropping their individual interactions to singularly focus on Ruby from the moment she arrives. Again, they make fun of her for not having a coat. Ruby politely asks the innkeeper if they have any rooms going, and the innkeeper names a price. Ruby has no cash on her, so she asks if she can pay with her phone. Incomprehensibly, the innkeeper feigns ignorance of the entire concept. The idea here is that the episode is trying to trick you into thinking they've actually arrived in the early 2000s, before contactless payments were a thing. Ruby tries to rephrase the request, and the innkeeper remains committed to the bit. Finally, Ruby tries to explain that it's to do with online banking, and—this apparently being the desired reaction—the innkeeper at last reveals, ahah, it was all a ruse! Of course I have a contactless card machine. Everyone in the bar laughs at Ruby's supposed prejudice, and the innkeeper is implied to overcharge her £5 for a glass of Coke.

Look, I've been to pubs like this, and if the bartender tried to pull this shit on me, if everyone else in the room made it obvious they didn't want me there, I'd walk out and find another pub. And there'd be one, because I refuse to believe there's a single coastal village in this country with just a single pub, and if I told the people there what had just happened to me, they'd almost certainly be like—what the fuck? Or maybe, oh yeah, we know those guys, they're notorious freaks in the local area and everyone hates them. I'm sorry, who the fuck in any service job would pull something as mean-spirited like this? Like of course I could see it, if we're talking about an absolute scumbag customer, someone who walks in and spits on the counter and orders you to wipe it up. But I just don't think the scene as written remotely sells the impression that Ruby is behaving in a way that could possibly be construed as offensive towards anyone. Instead—and I realise why this isn't the case, but—it kind of does just create the impression that they're the ones prejudiced against this clearly-lost English girl?

And the episode isn't even done. Next, another old lady at the bar reacts to Ruby's fear of the magic circle by pretending to believe in the supernatural, rattling off a bunch of local folklore (which, in the wider context of the episode, turns out to be entirely true). At the mention of "fairy circle", a young girl laughs and points at her goth friend, saying "you can ask him about that!" to implicitly call him a homophobic slur. Everyone in the bar seems onboard with this old lady's yarn, and when there's a loud knock on the door, they all react with seemingly genuine terror. FUCK! It's Mad Jack, here to kill us all! The goth says something like, "He'll kill me first! You know why that is, don't you?" No, go on, Russel, why is that? Because he's gay, and he thinks that Mad Jack is homophobic?

Finally, the big surprise: this person outside, banging repeatedly on the unlocked pub door, is actually just a guy carrying a big tray of Cornish pasties. To a small Welsh pub. With like four customers in. In the late evening. And instead of, like, just barging in with the tray, or even setting down the tray to poke his head in and ask for some help, the guy has apparently loudly knocked multiple times while carrying this tray in both hands for some customer or member of staff to invite him in. What is he, fucking Dracula? Anyway, big laugh from everyone in the pub. Can you believe this Ruby girl thought that we believe in witchcraft! What a stupid twit! The old lady calls her a racist to her face. I can't believe what I'm watching. RTD is Welsh, of course, and I'm English, so maybe through some lens of demographic essentialism I have to assume that he is simply expressing something here which I can never understand, because racism is something which transcends my understanding, it transcends race, it's really just to do with when there's a foreigner. Isn't this all so very miserably misanthropic? Doesn't it just want to make you blow your brains out?

But fine, whatever, I can accept this stupid caricature land that we've suddenly been deposited into. Hey, maybe it's part of the mytharc, maybe breaking the magic circle has sideways transported us into a dimension where everyone is a prick. Genuinely, the allegory for this episode is meant to be something along these lines, but practically every other scene in the episode has people behaving perfectly kindly towards Ruby right up until the exact moment they directly confront the entity, so clearly this isn't even an attempt at interesting metatextual bullshit, this is just these people behaving according to their supposed nature. Taking all that for granted, we can imagine that perhaps the little arc for this sequence will be that Ruby makes peace with the Welsh, is meaningfully enlightened in some way about her own internalised bigotry, or whatever, and they finally warm to her.

Pff, so we can imagine! No, we cut to a day or two later, and the innkeeper insists with real venom that Ruby is forbidden from staying in the pub any longer, because one of the other regulars (scared by the following lady) refuses to return so long as Ruby is there. She takes a train back to London and we never see any of these characters again. Oh my fucking lord.

The next two sections are just recapitulations of the supernatural conceit. Arriving back at home, there's a lengthy scene where Ruby listens to her mum make misandrist remarks about how the Doctor, like any man, probably just wanted to lock himself in his shed, nevermind that the Doctor was literally just a woman, nevermind that the Doctor is totally nonbinary now for real in a way which will matter to the narrative and mean something. For some fucking reason, Ruby decides it'll be a good idea to experiment on the supernatural old lady who appears to strike mortal terror into anyone she talks to with her own fucking adoptive mum who she loves more than anything. The old lady strikes mortal terror into the mum, who flees from Ruby and kicks her out of the house. Next, Ruby meets up with Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, a character who for me is roughly equivalent to a walking textbox which spans the screen with a helpful disclaimer reading "THIS EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY PISS DRECK," so it's obvious to anyone watching that the episode is piss dreck. Kate, supposedly the most competent member of Britain's best government agency, idiotically sends a whole taskforce to intercept the cognitohazardous entity while remaining in contact to facilitate the spread of any cognitohazards. Hasn't she read There Is No Antimemetics Division? Steven Moffat certainly hasn't, at least according to his lawyers, but at least he seems capable of thinking about his fictional thought-hazards for more than two minutes to work out how characters might try to act around them. Where this kind of conceptual bullshit is usually a hallmark of one of Moffat's better episodes, for RTD it's definitely an indicator that shit's going to get very stupid. Kate Lethbridge-Stewart decides she wants nothing to do with Ruby. In a slightly better version of this episode, the soldiers literally holding guns would physically open fire on Ruby, forcing her to flee.

That's one of the things about Doctor Who which has always consistently floored me: even in earlier series where they're clearly straining against the budget, the show is constantly failing to thoughtfully devote its budget towards anything narratively compelling—speaking both on the micro-level here, within each individual episode, and in a more general sense of "why do they keep giving these hacks so much fucking money". It also floors me how, despite clearly having Disney bucks behind it, the show somehow looks worse than ever, desaturated to shit with flat lighting and sterile compositions. Despite being a present-day Britain episode—or perhaps because of that—the budget for this episode oozes off it, with countless sets polished to a mirror-sheen, tons of costume work for Ruby, a whole military taskforce. But woe betide we edit some stock muzzle flashes onto these guns in Adobe After Effects! Wouldn't want this episode getting too exciting, now would we?! I can see how this episode is attempting to say something about fear and alienation—basic themes which Doctor Who has explored countless times before in significantly better episodes, and even mid episodes by RTD like "Midnight" (see, it's even in the title)—but with that being the case, if you're going to do a whole thing about nukes anyway, why not just show the government just fucking shooting at the poor girl? Is that image too politically-charged for the BBC? No, actually, tell me, why exactly would the BBC object to such an image?

Ruby retreats oop Norf and we enter a montage intended to make it obvious to everyone watching that yes, Ruby is not going to be stuck here without the Doctor for hours, or days, but rather for years. In the same breath, of course, it immediately makes it obvious that nothing which happens in this episode will ever stick or matter in any in-universe sense, because it'll all be reset in some way, so the best we can hope for is that the events of the episode will teach us something about who Ruby is as a person. (In the formulaically-similar Rick & Morty, a consistently better-written and more thoughtful show than Doctor Who—stop booing me, I'm right, I'm not even going out to bat for Rick & Morty it's just that Doctor Who is usually rubbish—plotlines like this happen roughly once a season and will always, always stick... or if they don't, the fact that they don't will crush you somehow.) RTD's wondrous imagination fails to conjure a single idea of what Ruby does as a person in this time. She is depicted dating a series of interchangable men who are not the Doctor, being distracted by the apparition unceasingly signing at her from the corner of her eye. Finally, she catches a news report about a Welsh politician called "Mad Jack"—the name of the fae entity supposedly contained by the magic circle—which she takes as a sign that the plot is finally being allowed to begin.

She joins Mad Jack's campaign team and he immediately makes it clear that he is a slimeball who hates foreigners and really really wants to just fucking nuke everyone. Of course, Mad Jack isn't running for an actual real-world political party, he's running for some fake political party which has no realistic views whatsoever, even if yes I'm sure there's a lot of foreigners the Tories really would like to nuke if they thought they could get away with it. There's an incomprehensibly unconvincing news segment where Mad Jack delivers implausible rhetoric about phone apps and the cost of living, in 2046, which is so close to making some kind of meaningful satirical point that I'm going to scream. When Mad Jack speaks to Ruby for the first time, she practically sics him on this other woman in the campaign team. Again, the episode fails to commit to explicitly saying what it is that Mad Jack does to this woman, but it's probably that he rapes her. Later, the other woman vaguely tells Ruby that Mad Jack is definitely "a monster". Towards the end of this sequence, one of the male campaign members later suggests that Mad Jack is going to be hosting a "wild" party and that he's invited this specific woman by name, implying that he's planning on raping her again. Shortly after, that guy explains how Mad Jack is finally going to be getting the nuclear launch codes for real, and for some reason this is what makes Ruby go, oh fucking shit, it's go time babey! She gives a heartfelt apology to the other woman for not intervening against her presumably-rapist sooner. Then she walks out into the middle of the venue to stand exactly 73 yards away from Mad Jack, and finally he notices the old woman. The old woman strikes mortal terror into him and he resigns immediately, averting the bad future the Doctor recounted at the very start of the episode. Again, all of these characters basically disappear from the episode at this point.

I cannot stress enough how much I hate everything about the implied rape stuff here. After it happens, Ruby appears to be made aware of it, appears to already have a plan to send this guy to the shadow realm—and yet she does nothing! The narrative ultimately presented is that she chooses to overlook this for the greater good, to prevent a miscarriage of justice, because she has to be sure the guy is a horrible nuclear rapist. And the thing that really gets me, what really blows my mind, is that the way she plans on dealing with Mad Jack doesn't kill him, it doesn't send him to jail or anything, all it does is end his political career. Dude is fucking fine! She knows he'd be fine, because she's seen this before with dozens of other people by this point, with her own mum. And hell, she literally has foreknowledge that the guy will become the most dangerous Prime Minister ever. So why doesn't she just pull the trigger right away? Why couldn't she just have a modicum of female solidarity with this other complete non-character victim? Assuming I'm not completely insane, it's staggering to me how closely Ruby's behaviour mirrors the real-world narratives that get trotted out whenever some public figure is involved in a sexual assault scandal. It deeply depresses me that our protagonist, supposedly at forty, would make these choices.

Anyway, Ruby grows old, and finally they switch out her laughably-youthful forty-year-old makeup for an elderly actress. She revisits the TARDIS, which is now effectively a grave for this alien she went on four adventures with sixty years ago, and says some nondescript words. Then she's seen dying in a future care facility, and in what's maybe intended to be an ironic beat, a young nurse assumes that she doesn't know how voice-operated lights work. Ruby protests because obviously we had Alexa or whatever in 2024. The nurse leaves, and in what's definitely meant to be the big emotional climax of the episode, the old Ruby expresses feeling as if everyone in her life has always abandoned her, but that she nonetheless has constant company in the form of this inexplicable old lady ghost. In a genuinely spooky moment, the lights flicker on and off, and we see the old lady—now facing away from Ruby—slowly approaching her, like a Weeping Angel, until Ruby reaches out her hands...

...and finds herself back on that cliff in Wales. Except this time, she's looking at the TARDIS, at the Doctor and herself stepping out of it. She waves at herself, and we finally hear the old lady saying "don't step! don't fucking step you dumb ass!", and this time, young!Ruby notices the magic circle just in time to stop the Doctor from breaking it. Old!Ruby, her own ghost all along, disappears, her purpose apparently fulfilled at last, and it's implied young!Ruby has some vague awareness of her lifetime spent in this circle.

So hang on, if it was just Ruby all along, then what the fuck was she saying to all those people to strike mortal fear into their hearts? What the fuck did she say to that hiker? And why would she choose to say it? I legitimately don't give a shit what the answer is meant to be, I know there isn't an answer, what I'm saying is that if you're going to do a twist like this, then it needs to actually serve the narrative: it needs to recontextualise the events we've already seen. In this case, it's just not fucking good enough to say "ahah, it was Ruby all along!", because that's meaningless, there was nothing Ruby-like about the old woman's behaviour throughout the episode, and nothing to explain why her behaviour would've changed to be like this. In RTD's grand political morality play, what the fuck does it mean that Mad Jack's omnicidal campaign was undone by Ruby's old-lady future-self ghost saying something which we never get to hear? Maybe RTD means to suggest that it is impossible to stop these monsters in the real world, because of course, magic like this isn't real in the real world.

And seriously, why the hell did the Doctor disappear—the old lady didn't talk to him! Did she beam bad psychic thoughts at him or something so he'd flee in mortal terror despite being 73 yards away? The episode is uninterested in these questions, and certainly doesn't care to give us anything concrete about how the spell works. Look, I don't even care who Mad Jack is, obviously he's just another guy like the Toymaker or the Maestro or whoever the fuck is going to be the next one of these all-powerful impotent demons, but give me something. Everything that happens in this episode happens "just because", or through Ruby's passivity, rather than through character actions or self-consistent setting details.

I've seen it suggested that all of the inexplicable dialogue in this episode, from the point of the magic circle being broken, is actually just Ruby exerting her own beliefs on reality. Through this lens, the people in the pub go through such incomprehensibly wild behavioural shifts as a diegetic result of Ruby's own gut feelings about how they should be acting. Similarly, Ruby's mum and Kate Lethbridge-Stewart are only reacting the way Ruby feels they should, deep down. I find this argument unconvincing because it's never explicitly mentioned or alluded to in the episode itself, so if this were what was going on, it would immediately be an order of magnitude more subtle than any other bit of writing in RTD's entire series so far. There's been little to nothing in previous scenes with Ruby's family to suggest these kinds of feelings are even latently present; she seems quite secure with her adoptive mother, simply harboring natural curiosity regarding her biological mother. (My girlfriend, who watched this episode with me, and who I have promptly abandoned to write this incendiary review, suggested that a subtler approach with Ruby's mum could've been much more effective: perhaps her mum simply suggests that it's about time Ruby moved out, they can't really afford to keep looking after her, isn't she old enough, wouldn't it be good for her anyway?) Rather than it being some kind of deft narrative masterstroke, the simplest explanation for these scenes being uneven and unrealistic is that RTD is an uneven writer who has always written extremely wooden character interactions in this vein.

This episode invites comparisons to various fascist-Britain political pieces from RTD, such as his plotline with the Master/Harold Saxon. I generally don't think those episodes of RTD's were very good anyway, but this one is objectively worse. Ruby's plotline, meanwhile, is most closely reminiscent of "The Girl Who Waited", one of the better episodes from Moffat's tenure, written by Tom MacRae. In that episode, our companion at the time, Amy Pond, winds up stuck living out years of her life along in a facility. She plays directly off her younger self, and the episode revels in the dramatic irony that everyone involved—both Amys, Rory, the Doctor, and you, the viewer—know it's a foregone conclusion that the older Amy will be wiped away, sacrificed to the status quo. It's fucking fantastic stuff. It's visually arresting. It's emotionally harrowing. Yes, the makeup department struggled almost as much to make Amy look forty as it did with Ruby, but both effects are better than the CGI homunculus that the Doctor became in "The Sound of Drums", so who's to say if they're good or bad.

This episode depressed me thoroughly. I thought the implied rape was a flippant inclusion, and if RTD wasn't willing to do it justice, it shouldn't have been in the episode at all. I thought the stuff in the pub painted an unrealistic and uncharitable picture of what people on this island are like to one another. But these feelings aren't why I think this was an objectively bad episode. I just cannot conceive of a lens where this episode isn't objectively bad, because I believe I fully grasp the themes it was attempting to convey—xenophobia, superstition, abandonment—and reckon there are many aspects of the plot that fail to communicate those themes in a self-consistent way. The nonsensical object-level plot and the intended allegorical throughline are in constant conflict with one another, rather than supporting one another.

Worst of all, I think RTD has continued a running trend of failing to achieve even his most basic mission statement with this new series. He's been determined for Doctor Who to veer more towards fantasy, more towards escapism, more towards feelings of unrestrained joy and wonder. Yet practically everything decays towards deconstruction, if not the exact opposite of presumably the intended message. Nonbinary furby Beep the Meep is actually an omnicidal little monster. The episode about the joys of music is practically devoid of it. There's an episode entirely about the horrors of war and capitalism where like half the cast just die. Rape is something that it's best we don't talk about, at least not in anything more than veiled terms, because that might be inconvenient for people who are more important than you. Isn't this fantastic? Aren't you escaping? Look, "Space Babies" is by no means a perfect episode, but it has come closest to fulfilling the mission brief. At least it made me smile. "73 Yards" is no fun, and no good.

If you enjoyed this review, you can find more of my writing over on Letterboxd. If you didn't, then... sorry?

[stargazerlily7210]

So, I might've picked up on something?

About who the mystery woman/Ruby's bio mom might be?

More accuratly, I have two ideas.

Firstly, let me just say, I dont think the person we see leaving baby Ruby at the church is her bio mother. Something like that just seems too easy for an RTD/ Doctor Who storyline. Both of these theories are working with that assumption.

So! Who is she?

When I first watched it, I'd been willing to bet (like, $15, max) that the cloaked woman who brought her to the church's doorstep is future (maybe season finale?) Ruby. IDK where the baby came from (maybe another point in history? Maybe another human-colonized planet?), but having the mystery woman in the snow being future Ruby is such a RTD type of full circle moment, it seemed like almost a given to me. And I still think it's a real possibility.

Until I paid closer attention during my re-watch, and thought I recognized something. Specifically the woman's clothes/shoes...

Now, bear with me! I know it's a big stretch. Both narratively and logically. These two pics of Amy are from set, not the show, so the coloring is obviously gonna be different. And the mystery woman is in very dim, warm toned lighting. But:

These pics (while they're really poor quality) ARE both from the episodes themselves.

The one of the mystery woman walking away, while you can barely see anything, was what first caught my attention. The skirt seems to be an odd length for a snowy winter night. And the lighter/brighter colored tights/stockings feels like an odd choice for someone in an otherwise all black outfit, trying not be seen, unless the tights and boots combo is meant to be our visual clue to her identity (whether we're meant to recognize it now or later on).

I have no clue how or why it would be Amy Pond, so I don't REALLY think that's it. But let's not forget, the last pic isn't even really Amy. It's the Teselecta. A time traveling, shape-shifting robot/ship thing with a penchant for bending the rules around interfering with history. And if you watch the long shot of the mystery woman walking away, her gate seems...off. robotic almost.

But if that's still too far-fetched for you, and you think I'm just reading waaay too much into the, like, bottom eighth of the woman's clothes (yet have managed to come this far w/o scrolling away, thanks, btw), let me just end by tying it back into my first theory, real quick:

Amy's not the only one whose leggings/boots combo could match the mystery woman.

Just a thought.

[trashboatprince]

Okay, it's been about an hour, and I've collected my thoughts on what happened with Fourteen and Fifteen.

Spoilers under the cut:

Let's face it, it's A LOT that happened in that moment.

I was geared up for Fourteen to leave, though I had been so curious as to why they had the face of Ten, I figured Fifteen might be able to explain. But when nothing happened, I realized that it's like, wait a sec...

Wait a fucking sec...

And the pulling really solidified that we were getting something new.

Let's remember that The Doctor is now canonically a fucking mystery, that we have no idea what they really are. (Personally, I still think that they are The Other, but the Timeless Child can be included in that since The Other is still a massive mystery himself). So, the idea of the mythological bi-generation is a possibility with them.

Fifteen was talking about it, getting so excited about how there are, technically, two of the Doctor now. That it's a Time Lord myth, but myths tend to usually have a grain of truth to them. It's possible this is something that The Other/Timeless Child could do. We don't know, the lore is already a fucking pain to keep track of, but let's humor this idea for a moment.

I'm already seeing shit on twitter about how it's stupid, a cope out, basically a way to keep David in the series.

Well, here's the thing. He'll always be in the series. Because he played the Doctor. Just like all the other actors who have played the Doctor.

However, we now have this idea about how Ncuti isn't even playing the real Doctor, he's playing a clone.

No.

Not true.

Fourteen is the split-off from the Doctor, not Fifteen. Fifteen even says 'I'm me. I think I'm really, really me. Oh, I am completely me!', meaning that this is the regeneration, this new face IS the new Doctor.

Fourteen later says 'I'm a post bi-generation'. Fourteen is different, still the Doctor, but not our new Doctor, not the one that will continue the adventures through time and space.

This is quite possibly be like the meta-crisis, a blip in the regeneration process, a billion-in-one-chance of something interesting happening. We know Time Lords can change gender, race, age, and even whole species while staying as the same person, a Time Lord, so the possibility of splitting from a regeneration into your actual new one... well... I wouldn't say it's impossible, more like an improbability that happened anyway.

I fucking love it.

Why did Fourteen have that face? Maybe it's just a tiny bit of kindness from a vast, cruel universe, saying 'you deserve a break. You have much to do, but maybe this piece of you can rest. Just this once.'

I dunno, whatever the fuck happened will probably be explained in more canon. RTD has set up a whole number of interesting plots, and considering his track record with Nine and Ten, we will get answers. Bad Wolf, YANA, the missing planets, Donna Noble, Harold Saxon, all of these had answers, and the specials set up new questions.

I am excited to see what comes,

[being-of-rain]

My thoughts on The Church on Ruby Road! I literally can't write one of these without it being much longer than I expect. You think I'd simply expect it by now. But apparently I just had a lot of thoughts to put down about this one!

I really liked it! Going by friends' reactions, I think I liked it more than most of them. Maybe that's because I was expecting the more straightforward fantasy than usual from Doctor Who after hearing about it from RTD. I hope they dive into that more in the upcoming series, and make it explicit that it's because of the edge-of-the-universe-superstition stuff. That's such a fun direction for the show to go in.

I mostly have good things to say. Ncuti Gatwa was an instant fit for the Doctor, I can't wait to watch a whole series of him. His outfits were fantastic, especially that very first shot of him with his hat. And his deduction and reassurance scene with the policeman reminds us that the character has a powerful magic even without the goblins and skyships. Oh and the Doctor loving the name Lulubelle, what an adorable moment.

The goblins and skyships themselves felt very Peter Pan to me, and I love the urban fantasy feel it gave the episode. I also simply adore the fairytale logic, narrative magic that the Doctor was talking about. "The language of luck" and "coincidence is what makes the baby tasty" and "vocabulary of rope" and "if you have lots of accidents, it stitches you in. It weaves you into the day." I eat that stuff up, urban fantasy at its best in my opinion. Creeping into our world around the edges. And of course Doctor Who had to have a line suggesting that all coincidences might be because of goblins, I love it. The unexpected goblin music number felt very appropriately pantomime, and led to yet another moment that made me fell in love with this Doctor; him continuing the song rather than stopping it. Again, adorable.

As for Ruby Sunday, she's fun to watch and well acted, and I don't have anything bad to say about her, but she does feel a little generic-companion to me at the moment. Sometimes companions take a while before they go from 'like' to 'love' for me, but they usually make it eventually, it just takes one really great episode or plot. I do love her family though, they're so much fun, please can we have the Doctor spending more time with them. It's so cute to see a foster family depicted so positively and wholesomely.

Which leads us to the hardest-hitting part of the episode, when Ruby's taken and the timeline is rewritten, and GOD it's bleak. It's another look at that classic RTD cynicism that's just under the surface, but it works soooo well here, god damn. The way a lot of minimal changes made the setting go from "queens of the sky" to "stuck with my old mum up here in the attic" was so Powerful. The performances of Michelle Greenidge as a depressed Carla and Ncuti Gatwa as a raw and heartbroken Doctor was just. Chef's kiss. This time it's sci-fi at it's best; something impossible happening and then the story really digging its claws into the emotional impact it has on people.

The Doctor really showing his emotions is something I love and want to see a lot more of. I assume that's the main change to the character after Tennant Doctor's mental health retirement, which is a relief after Thirteen's years of brooding and hiding negative emotions from friends. So I don't mind Gatwa's Doctor having issues and brooding moments, because obviously you can't permanently fix all your problems forever anyway, especially not in his life. But all that said, specifically his line "I've got no one" really stood out to me as being strange considering the previous episode seemingly solving that in the short term. I know Gatwa's Doctor might potentially be a long way past that now, but surely it robs the retirement ending of its entire point if we immediately skip past not only the healing, but the getting-worse-again-about-the-exact-same-issue as well.

Speaking of Thirteen, it was nice to see RTD once again bring back the Timeless Child from Chibnall's era and give it a bit more depth. Chibnall definitely acknowledged the Timeless Child's emotional impact on the Doctor, and she had an arc surrounding that. But if I had to describe that arc I'd call it rather one-note and uninteresting; going from 'desperate to know more about adoption' to 'accepting it without question' without really any character beats in-between. Seeing how Gatwa's Doctor was dealing with it, how he related to other adoption stories and thought about himself, adds more dimensions to that, and I hope we get more glimpses of it.

When it comes to Ruby Sunday's adoption, I like that there's something of a plot bait-and-switch with the Doctor staring at (presumably) Ruby's mother in the cold open, then the Doctor being more concerned with saving Ruby later in the episode, and deciding not to follow the mother. If the series spends more focus on that plot, I hope it's mostly Ruby making a similar choice to the Doctor, because I'm an absolute sucker for 'it's not biology that makes a family.' I mean, basically my favourite Doctor Who story is Izzy Sinclair's from the DWM comic, and it was basically this. Izzy's story might've even been a direct influence on Ruby's, since we know that RTD was a DWM reader at the time and loved it too, enough to send a letter in praising the final Izzy comic! Anyway, I should probably try not to compare the two arcs too much, because I have my favourite and I'm biased 😂

How does this Thoughts Post feel even longer than usual!? I guess new Doctor, new companion, and new story arcs might do that. So time for random points!

-After checking, the clock on the eponymous church is absolutely the same one on the Christmas Town tower from The Time of the Doctor. I hope I'm not the only one who immediately noticed that aha. -I've seen people diss the narration at the very start, and I get disliking purposeless narration, but I think this one serves a purpose well. It adds even more of a fairytale vibe to a very fairytale scenario in a very fairytale episode. -Random nitpick: one thing I'd change about the episode is how much stress the camera and music give to some comedy minor characters, specifically the lady with the pram, Mrs Flood in her first scene, and the other neighbour. Focusing on them so much felt like it dampened their little jokes a bit. -Random highlight: I love when the Doctor says random throwaway stuff like they always do, but side characters actually pick it up and start trying to pick meaning out of it. So it made me happy when Ruby came back to the Houdini namedrop at the end of the episode. -The international version of the episode had a random Disney Plus ad before the final few lines (rather than that being a mid-credits scene like in the UK) and god I hated it. Praying that doesn't happen again. -I know RTD has said there'll be more about the "mysterious" Mrs Flood in future, but to me she genuinely just felt like a minor character with a christmas fourth-wall break. I really don't care about getting more of her, so if there is then I hope it's more interesting. -The murder of the Goblin King sure was more violent than usual for Doctor Who, and it can bother me a little bit when TV shows start letting things like that go by without comment, but I don't really mind it this time. The goblins vanished like the mythical creatures they were, the Doctor was cool as hell jumping off the church tower to bring them down, and this time the classic RTD Emotional Manipulation was working on me perfectly. -It's hilarious that they're keeping up the 'mavity' thing, I wonder when they'll actually do something with that.

Final thoughts! The Church on Ruby Road was a fantastic start to The Gatwa Era. It had a simple plot and villains, which worked wonderfully with the delightful characters, magical aesthetic, and powerful emotional beats it landed. It definitely felt more like a first episode than a christmas special, which is to it's credit, but with the singular downside that it has me impatient for more episodes!

If you made it all the way to the end, then Happy New Year! I hope you (and Dr Who) have a wonderful 2024 😘

[floating-languid-box-in-vain]

What I think went wrong with Empire of Death

The issues with Empire of Death is that it tried to make the audience feel bad for speculating what was going to happen.

Susan was teased and hinted at being something special and she was, just not what people expected which is great and cool. It was an effective twist (hah) that Susan Twist was not the Doctor’s granddaughter, but an evil angel.

Also, Ruby is just a normal girl. I think it’s also an effective twist but it leaves a lot of unanswered questions, which is okay but unsatisfying. Some of the best stories are unsatisfying (see 73 Yards)

When you put the two together in context of the season it becomes just bad. Evil Susan mocking the Doctor about thinking she was family, in retrospect, feels like the show mocking the audience for speculating about Susan Twist and Ruby.

I don’t think this is meant to be so tactless. Yet, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth as RTD was the person creating these misdirections and fanning the fan theory flames. We invest in the show only to pull the rug out from under us in an episode where one of the central themes is… hoping for grand reveals is bad?

I think there is something to be said about fans trying to dictate the direction of a story and getting upset or even aggressive towards the creators when it doesn’t go there way. People who harrass or review bomb cause they don’t like the plot reveals aren’t good people.

This show could have been a critique of that, but it doesn’t work. Perhaps because as the show runner you have all the power and the fans are at your whims so it comes across as mocking. Perhaps because of its the season finale our hopes are so high

Whatever the reason, Empire of Death’s messaging falls flat at best. It’s still a good episode with fun moments, beautiful visuals, and is just generally fun, but it’s one of the weaker episodes of the season.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Warning: Venting, moaning, and spoilers ahead. Enter at own risk.

You know, after watching 73 Yards I had a LOT that I wanted to write about. Stuff about the themes like abandonment, but also about science fiction vs fantasy, the need for answers vs the desire never to know, eerie atmosphere vs cool rationality, blah, blah, blah.

But I’m a week too late. That’s old news now, it’s Dot and Bubble time. And I don’t have the time and energy to say much except…

OMG! Did RTD always have such an unrelentingly bleak and cruel vision of human nature??? I mean, okay, we had a woman heroically staying to take care of babies in the goofy first ep, but we also had a world that would abandon a bunch of babies to die. And the last two episodes…

73 Yards depressed me in a way no Doctor Who ever has. I’ve seen every episode that still exists, seen the recons of the lost, listened to every Big Finish audio over it’s first 14 or so years, and read the “wilderness years” novels like popcorn. I mean, I have absorbed so damn many Doctor Who stories in every medium that I wouldn’t know how to count them. Some were dark. Some were depressing. Some were miserable in every way.

But this….

73 Yards made me wonder if there was no damn point in me keeping on living.

Ruby’s plight resonated far too deeply.

Alone and upset she makes the mistake of stepping of going into pub where the locals, in a display of cruelty **that reminded me why I never go into small local places, deliberately scared and then mocked her. Then her life gets soooo much worse as everyone she loves and everyone she turns to for help ends up turning on her. She isn’t merely abandoned, she is treated with complete disgust and with not even a hint of compassion to soften it. She is haunted by the “ghost” of herself, an embodiment of both a mistake of her past and her future death. This “ghost” becomes her only companion as her life speeds on to the always lonely grave. Every birthday is her all alone, no friends, no family, just her and her always distant “ghost” self. And then she grows old and “dies”. Always alone…

99% of my time is alone. I have no friends to turn to. Every friend I ever got close to ended up leaving me. Heck, even online friends always just go away without a trace. I’m in a rural area where the community I’ve lived my entire life had never made me feel included. Back in school once a year I’d get shunned for not being a Christian as they rediscovered it, and the rest of the time there was mere bullying, mocked and belittled, for all the other things that marked me as an outcast. My family were outcasts too, for that matter. My family, where Mom is the only one left who loves me, just a frail voice on a phone I can no longer reach out to. My brother has openly wished me dead and doesn’t want me setting foot in his home, telling me constantly how worthless and disgusting he finds me. Everyone else I’ve loved is dead or gone away. Every birthday is alone, and I’m increasingly aware I’m spiraling to my own death…

No one. Never anyone. Never able to make new friends. Doomed to isolation unto death. No friends. No family. No help. Just me and…..me.

Yeah, it got to me. Ruby gets a moment of using her pain for good, and the reward of a do over. But that’s fiction. My “ghost” self offers no chance to do good, and when I die I will simply rot away (or burn, if whoever gets stuck with disposal duty decides to cremate me. They’d probably just flush me down toilet if I would fit! LOL)

And I thought, ok, maybe that’s just me. Maybe most people won’t feel borderline suicidal as escapist entertainment rubs salt in very open wounds.

But then I thought about the harsh cruelty of the world in the story, the complete lack of warmth and hope. Hell, our heroine stands by and lets a young woman get (strongly suggested) abused by a man she KNOWS is a baddie simply because she needs to prove that that baddie is bad enough to deserve what she is about to do. So even Ruby is a terrible person deep down, tainted by a world devoid of love to the point of treating people as test subjects.

Okay, this is bleak stuff. Great episode, even if I am ambivalent about that all fantasy/no explanations take on Doctor Who.( It also joins things like Grave of the Fireflies on my “Great but NEVER watch again!” list. ) But it’s surely won’t be so dark next time.

Oh dear.

So in Dot and Bubble we get a world of the young and privileged living in their social media bubbles (oh, very subtle), completely unable to function in the real world to the point of being unable to walk.

Okay, that’s not bleak. A bit cynical and harsh, kicking an easy target, but dark comedy material. And the obnoxious gal we are following will surely come to her senses, learn to connect with people, will be grateful for help, and…

Oh. OH!

This is THAT kind of story. Where we are reminded that people are essentially selfish and shallow, where they do things against their own best interests out of things like snobbishness, and the one decent human being we meet is doomed to death by betrayal.

Okay, now the question is, which do I find bleaker. The “you are doomed to always be isolated” episode or the “most people don’t even deserve help” episode.

People complained about the ending of Boom being sappy, but TBH it was kinda a relief for Moffat to pop in and say “Ok, look, love will give you at least a pseudo happy ending now and then. Now don’t go slitting your wrists at the utter nastiness out there…”

And the RTD whispers “I’m not saying slit your wrists, I’m just saying that if you do no one will care. The hysterical laughter at snot monsters and musical diva gods is just the universe having a nervous breakdown in the dark, but that’s fun, isn’t it?”

I’m not saying I think these episodes are awful! Just to be clear, I’ve enjoyed stuff about all of them! I haven’t hated any of them (No, not even Space Babies with their poor little freaked out faces and ill fitting CG mouths creeping me out) And if you don’t feel depressed after these recent episodes I’m very glad. Really. I just wish I had YOUR brain!

It’s funny, after an era where I complained (quietly) about poor writing I am now complaining (loudly) about the horrible mood the better writing is putting me in!

Yes, I will keep watching, trying to hold onto whatever light I can in the darkness. But I can’t say I’m looking forward to being miserable every time. I’m not sure I’m actually having fun. My life sucks enough lately, and Doctor Who making me feel worse is something I NEVER expected to have to deal with.

**Note to self: be glad you can NEVER go to Wales! Yeah, my grandma had a penpal from Wales. It was a lovely old lady she met while they both rested on a bench in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. I met her and she was quite nice, even as little me withered in shame hearing grandma, in her lifelong childlike innocence, tell an embarrassing detail about me. I rationally know people from Wales are just people. But after that pub scene…

[13thdoctorposts]

It is misogyny. It is. Because the real problem for people is that Thirteen isn't maternal. That's the complaint at it's most basic. It's the same thing RTD massively fucked up in his reference to her - being a woman didn't make her emotionally in tune, or all touchy feely and mummyish/matronly. And people can't stand that. (See also: all the hypocritical and 'did you even watch the goddamned episodes' whinging about her being Bad and So Much Worse than the male Docs)

I can't know the mind of everyone who complains about 13 but there is definitely issues of misogyny and unconscious misogyny when it comes to peoples reading of the 13th Doctor.

The easiest way to see it is when contrasting to the 12th Doctor, holy shit could he be down right rude and nasty, but those were perfectly find character traits for him, 13 does it a few times and she's toxic and unkind and the Doctor would never be that... unless its 12? cos thats fine.

12s last speech is a great one, 'never fail to be kind'... but lets be honest our boy spent a lot of time being unkind, it was a definite character trait of his, and he totally had moments where he was very kind and caring, but the difference is no one ever complains about the ridiculous amount of times he was unkind and rude compared to the couple times 13 was.

And I also agree that it probably does have something to do with the fact we do just expect women to be kinder and more emotionally in tune... which 13 never claimed to be, and part of her character traits was being distant, not opening up, processing her trauma in ways that weren't always healthy. People ask for complex and flawed female characters and then say all the traits that make them complex make them bad people and bad characters.

I love 13 because she isn't what we expect inherently what a woman should be, and she shouldn't be because she is an alien from another planet and what being a 'woman' is to her is not going to look the same as it does for humans.

[insomniac-101]

I have to say, as a person that grew up watching Doctor Who and eventually lost interest, only to then pick it up as an adult again; the nuance of the portrayal of many of the relationships in the RTD era had to be one of the most surprising discoveries for me upon rewatch.

For a show that is silly ha ha for a large portion of it's existence, the human aspect of the RTD era is something I didn't truly appreciate until i watched it through my adult lens. You have such iconic companions such as, Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble all of which embrace both the negative and positive aspects of what it's like to be human. Their importance lies in their existence, and their ability to grow and learn from their experiences with the Doctor, who in turn is not above being portrayed as a flawed and traumatized person.

His trauma leads him to make decisions that may not always be the best, and the narrative goes out of its way to show that he's not always in the right. They affect his relationships to said companions, and in the end, it's these decisions he makes that lead him to regenerate alone. Because by not sharing the burden of his duties with the people that love him, he punishes himself to never truly heal from all the baggage and he pushes them away.

I believe this is why, although heartbreaking, it only made sense why the 10th doctor ultimately ends up alone.

He tells himself that he is cursed to live a lonely existence. That no one will truly ever understand what it's like to live as the last of his people, and although he may have a point in thinking that rules of his existence are drastically different from that of a human, he is wrong in assuming that we too don't also suffer from the same burden. And so, this is why him ultimately choosing the fates of those around him, against the wishes of those affected, is so unfair (and why he's often punished for it).

Not every human lives the entirety of their life span. It's the very short lives we live (in comparison to that of a time lord, I mean) that help us put into perspective what is truly important. We live our lives knowing that any day may be our last, but instead of wallowing in it, we continue on because that is one of the strengths of humanity: our ability to keep going. We don't forget our pasts, we confront it and carry it with us.

An aspect of humanity that we see him envy through out the run. The slow path, a simple life that is deprived of all the danger he loves but carries the security he lacks. He puts up a front, alienating himself from his companion's lives because he claims they're not worth the time of a time lord but in truth, he can't help but get involved regardless. Because he is not above the basic desire of companionship and love, and by attempting to deprive himself of it (by not being honest about his feelings to himself and those around him) out of an act of self preservation, he is left to wonder what would his life had been had he given in. Would his separation from them been any less hurtful than it was in his final moments: left to watch them live their lives from afar as he returned to a console room empty of the people who loved him? Perhaps, but the undeniable truth is that in never allowing it, he'll never know and that must hurt a lot more in retrospect.

This is ultimately why Tentoo gets his happy ending. Him, being an amalgamation of all the human traits the time lord tried so hard to stunt through out his run. It's this version of himself that is able to be honest with the people around him. He feels fear, making an impulsive decision to end a threat out of the need to protect those he loves. In doing so, ignoring his duty as a time lord to conserve the wellbeing of the universe. He is able to tell the woman he loves that he wants to spend his life with her. Give her the choice to decide what her life would be, even if it didn't include him without the threat of permanent separation. He may have been born out of war and hatred, yet the reason why he exists is because the doctor wished to have more time with that very same woman. Putting his regeneration energy into his hand as a means of not changing into a man unfamiliar to her and potentially losing all of the feelings he held for her in the process. This version of himself, was also born out of the love he had for humanity but what makes him different, is that he embraces it (symbolically and literally lol). Which is why, his time lord self resents him.

His story is a cautionary tale. A reminder of why it is important to treasure the people who come into our lives and to respect their ability to make their own decisions. To live in the moment rather than hide in fear of what the future must bring, because the pain the unknown will bring will never erase the joy felt in those precious memories spent with the people we love.

He realizes this, in his final moments. How much more terrifying it is to be alone than with his beloved friends, in spite of knowing how much it'll hurt to lose them one day.

"I don't want to go"

His final words are a testament of the tragedy/irony of his situation. A man born out of the love he has for humanity, yet he loses his way by not embracing the very thing that once saved him.