#we all deserve a second chance ( solas )

[crossdressingdeath]

This has been bothering me for a while. What do you think is Blackwall's stance on mages and mage rights? He approves of allying with FIona but that seems more about giving people second chances, and his romance apparently makes no mention of the Inquisitor's magic, and his relationship with the mage companions is more about Vivienne and Dorian's noble status while Solas is about his relationship with spirits. What are your thoughts on the matter, if you don't mind sharing?

I actually went through his banter to check, so I'm just gonna copy/paste some points where his views on mages actually come up:

Blackwall: You think mages will be better off if people know they can change the future? Dorian: Ignoring that that's not the case, I suspect people will use any excuse to hate us. Blackwall: Then you should not give them more. Dorian: Did everyone act like this when the sword was invented? "Oh, my blushing butt cheeks! Round up everyone who can use these pointy things and lock them away!" Blackwall: It is not the same thing and you know it.

Blackwall: No, it’s not that. You find joy in [your magic], not shame. And it shows. Dorian: Why be ashamed? Power should be respected, not swept under the carpet. Blackwall: Something we “southerners” need to learn, perhaps?

Blackwall: Do you have no sympathy for the mage rebellion? Vivienne: It's not as simple as you think, my dear. Blackwall: I understand that mages are dangerous. I know that if I had to face you, alone, I wouldn't stand a chance. But must it be more complicated than treating people the way you'd like to be treated?

Blackwall: What happened at Redcliffe, have you ever seen its like, Solas? Solas: The distortion of time? I have seen magic accomplish many things, but ... no, that is new. Blackwall: Magic has little place in a war between men. Solas: Many mages are brutes, seeing nothing more than a larger ball of fire. But those with imagination, those who use war to push the limits of the possible ... Blackwall: I wish the Chantry could better enforce restrictions against its use.

So it seems to me that he's sympathetic, but wary. He recognizes that the way mages are treated isn't just, but also is very aware of just how dangerous magic can be. Also he wouldn't approve of allying with Fiona if he thought mages should be kept completely under the Chantry's thumb second chances or no, for what that's worth. He doesn't think mages are monsters and he does think they deserve better, but he's also at least partially fallen for the Chantry's claims that mages are uniquely dangerous. All in all I'd say his thoughts on mages and mage freedom aren't 100% positive, but more positive than the average person's.

[whump-place]

Adopted.

9-Training.

Masterlist.

Content: Multiple Whumpees, Pet Whumpees, Conditioned Whumpees, Multiple Whumpers, Reluctant Whumper, Group punishment.

Ray knew something was coming when Liam got down to the basement himself. He tried sitting gracefully, keeping his head down and his hands folded on his lap. Maybe Liam would give him a second chance, maybe..., maybe if he showed he could learn Liam would accept him.

But of course that was just a childish thought.

"You know there's a new one, don't you? I like him, and so does Master."

Oh. No, he was just going to spit on his face how unworthy he was, again.

"And we want him to feel welcomed, so you know what will happen next. I trust you to at least be compliant."

Ray knew. Ray knew. And that was the worst part.

He didn't complain when his hands were tied behind his back, or when he was dragged up the stairs, or when he was thrown out in the rain. He tried to show some improvement in his behavior, and maybe he could be good. Just maybe if he took it all...

"Hi! Long time no see!" Leo greeted him, pulling him by the leash when Liam got tired of holding him. "The new's name is Micah! Or Amy, Star liked Amy, but I like both. Master said he got to use both names as long as he wanted. I wish I could have two names too."

He talked way too fast for Ray to even try to answer, but that was for the best, if Liam got bothered by his voice he would get muzzled.

After a few minutes, Star and the new Pet got in front of him. The new, Micah, was wearing Leo's jacket, and Ray knew Star had put make-up on him, he was perfect, just like all of them. Ray wasn't perfect.

Liam explained his mistakes, the way he was too dumb to learn anything, the way he was thrown out because his master didn't like him enough to at least sell him. He was just so worthless.

But then they said that. They said they were going to 'train' him again.

Ray did lose any will to fight them anymore, he learned after years of being their punching bag, but still. He feared 'training', Liam never really cared what kind of training he had to endure, as long as he learned something. Sometimes Ray pretended to understand what his mistakes are, just to earn the privilege of being forgiven.

He thought he was doing better.

His body curled up on itself, the rope was like sandpaper on his wrists, he was sure there would be blood soon enough if he kept cowering away, but that didn't matter. Anything was better than training. Training means he isn't trying hard enough to be a good boy. Trainin means pain, and blood, and being a step away from being the perfect Pet Master deserves!

Ray tried to look up at Micah, maybe he would understand. When their eyes locked up, he only saw the disgust everyone felt towards him.

"Please." He tried to beg, but he was quickly corrected by being kicked in the rib cage. All the air escaping his lungs.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much. Please. Please. He can be good. Please!

"Look at that! Liam, did you see that? I knew Micah would-!"

"Good. Next time go for the legs. He's trying to avoid his training." Star's excited voice was cut off by Liam, who instructed Micah where the next kick would land.

They all were smiling.

Ray closed his eyes. He knows how this is going to be, but he also knows there's no reason to keep his eyes open to look at them beating him up, and laughing at his weakness.

What was he expecting? Why did he ever try to believe his life would be better?

No one likes him. No one loves him. Not even Master.

Ray lays down, his face stained with mud when Star stepped on his head and pushed him against the floor.

At least he should be grateful to have a family, shouldn't he?

---

If anyone wants to be added to the taglist please let me know :)

--

Taglist;

@sola-whumping

@octopus-reactivated

@otterfrost

@taterswhump

@risk606

@silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

[missingcarrion]

this^^

but I also wanted to add a few more things about what i've seen from this fandom so far:

yeah game devs have to be good at tying things together, but games where so many choices are to be made, it makes it difficult to make a good story which is probably why they didnt carry too much over from previous games. It most likely would've taken longer and you STILL would be unhappy if they made every previous choice in the games matter because something would be left out.

you have to make decisions and choosing to tell Solas' tale, lavellan included, just makes more sense.

we only know what they're willing to show and tell us so i IMPLORE you I ASK YOU hell i BEG you all to give it a chance.

also the characters we have deserve to be here. Scout Harding DESERVES to be there. SHe has been there through thick and thin SHE is deserving of being included amongst the team. I WILL NOT ACCEPT SLANDER

you're all entitled to your opinions but she's literally like, one of the few characters left that have stuck with us. you can think what you want, but do *not* for a second doubt her right to be a companion.

People being upset about DATV being more solas and lavellan centric is a bit funny cuz like... At least to me it felt like this was their end game to begin with?? And they weren't exactly subtle about it and haven't been??

Like from my stand point some of y'all are upset that a game literally titled after Solas (originally) that was then changed to be more open ended about him is, in fact, about him.

There's too many choices everyone could've made that it would've been impossible to make a concrete and good story if they had to rewrite so many facets of this story to appeal to every single choice players made in previous games.

I can understand being upset but like the game was called Dreadwolf, and the ending of inquisition dlc whether you romanced solas or not kinda made it clear where this was going.

[cloudgazercadash]

15. Out of the followers/companions, who are they most comfortable around?

out of the canon inquisition companions it’d have to be sera, cole, vivienne, thom/blackwall, and solas. thora likes most of the inquisition companions (although with bull it takes until post-da:i in her game canon) but those five are the ones that hit the right combination of things.

her initial discomfort about sera stems from sera’s sometimes confusing speech patterns which take a bit for thora to grow accustomed to. sera keeps referring to people not-her as “people people,” too, which is just an odd phrase when thora was people people just a month or two ago at the time they met. in her companion verse i think they’d get along a lot sooner, quicker because there is none of that herald stuff to make the relationship stickier. my in-game headcanon for thora’s post-game involves sera being around, as thora does take her offer to be a jenny. sera is one of the companion relationships that persists beyond inquisition, without it being a long-distance friendship anyway.

cole it’s a similar reason to sera, plus her unfamiliarity with spirits. cole is literally the first one she’s met, and his speech patterns are even stranger. there may always be some discomfort with cole if she’s having a bad day, the thought of having something dredged up might put her on edge around him. but also with cole there’s absolutely zero judgment, and she also evolves into feeling the same about him? like, thora and cole are both people who are very different and yet very similar. when she keeps him a spirit she doesn’t completely understand why he’s happy, but she’s glad he is and was happy to support it.

i think vivienne is the outlier on this list b/c she’s sort of noble. not by birth, her parents were merchants and she’s a mage, but she carries herself like one. vivienne and thora share vastly different opinions on things such as the chantry and circles, things that might strain friendships typically, but also thora isn’t a mage. vivienne’s opinions are just that to her. it certainly does strain their relationship at first, but once you’re friends with vivienne she takes care of you. i can’t say the two are close emotionally but at the same time she does feel comfortable around vivienne.

then blackwall. although in rp this depends upon if the thom agrees to this, but thora sort of knows he’s a criminal before it all comes out. their conversations hint at that past too much for her to be completely oblivious to it, and wardens are known for being penitent criminals. he also doesn’t talk like a highborn lord, giving him some of the same initial comfort she gets from sera. the reveal that he’s not all who he says he is does harm that, but it doesn’t stay like that and i think by trespasser especially - once thom starts actively confronting his past - that discomfort would go away and they could be as they were.

but solas is probably her best friend in the inquisition and the one she’s most comfortable with. like with sera and cole, it does take adjustment. solas lives his life in a way that’s hard for her to grasp, but as she comes to understand him they get more comfortable with each other. most conversations about difficult decisions she has with him either before or after the fact, she’s not free of judgment like she is with cole, but the two end up in a friendship where both are comfortable calling the other. for her part, thora fails to fully grasp the personhood of spirits even after having it explained to her until well into da:i. and for his, well, we know what solas says about dwarves in canon. neither of them let this slide, but there was also always the potential for forgiveness and learning. thora being more emotionally open and touchy also pushes past some of solas’ walls. they’re not the sort of friends who are always all over each other, but if they’re both reading together she will prop herself up on his shoulder. and she gives lots of hugs. everyone in the inner circle gets a hug at least once.

[theheraldsrest]

“Companions (+Scout Harding and Varric) when they realized they were in love? Thank you, have a good day!”

Heehee, hooho, I’m very tired. We both work with schools and sometimes it gets hectic. Had one kid who knew what Dragon Age was and went on an entire rant about how wrong the Qun is. I’m so proud of him.

-LordLex

Cullen

-Kept brushing it off, could only see it as admiration. How you held yourself through different obstacles, being made the Herald, having to fight off waves of enemies and looking to help the people, it was truly a sight to see

-But then you started coming by to see him more often, even if you just spoke. Why did he keep stuttering? And he couldn’t stop himself from glancing over at you. Were you looking at him, just now, as well?

-Tried to keep up his professionalism but couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face when he saw you approaching him or when your voice came out of nowhere.

-And after helping him with his personnel quest, Maker help this man. He can’t help but to look for you whenever he leaves his study, listening for your voice or laughter. Love is complicated and Cullen sure as hell knows nothing about it.

Josephine

-She had lost all hope after the attack on Haven, thinking that all that you did was for nothing and it only ended up with you getting killed. But you saved so many lives and-there you were, alive. Injured but alive.

-Compared to most of the people she meets, you were very well mannered, not trying to gain favor, but honestly cared for her when you asked her if she wanted to talk for a second. Josey didn’t think much of it but started to enjoy the time spent with you, the conversations you’d have.

-At some point, she started to take mental notes about such small things: your favorite food, where you came from, what makes your nose wrinkle and what makes your lips turn up into that wonderful smile.

-She felt horrible about getting you involved in her family business but, when it came down to it, she wouldn’t have any regrets, thinking you two had grown closer through this experience

Solas

-You caught his eye and it wasn’t just because of the mark. You were...different. That’s the closest word he could connect you to. You were strong and powerful but also kind and gentle. Working with those around and yet you’d also be by yourself with a thoughtful look.

- He fell in love when you started asking for his advice Kidding, but he does get very excited when you start questioning about magical studies and the fade and the history behind certain artifacts

-He tries to distance himself from everyo1ne but you always seem to pull him back, pull him into conversations, going out of your way to spend time with him, even when you didn’t even seem to understand what he was saying

-With his personnel quest, he’s completely taken by you. You do so much for others, for him, when you really should care for yourself. He doesn’t want to feel this way, he doesn’t want anything to do with mortals. But you...you’re a different story.

Cassandra

-It’s been a hell of a ride for Cassandra on the rollercoaster of emotions. First she despises you, then gives you an inkling of doubt, then suddenly she values you as a friend. And now...flirting?! How dare you

-When you started to change your tactics and be more direct, she continued to try and brush them off as nothing more than friendliness. Sometimes would humor the idea, but you had more important matters to deal with

-Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast does not fall in love, there’s too much to do and too much to take care of. And with the Inquisitor no less! Preposterous! She could lie to herself but that didn’t change how she’d drop whatever she was doing to talk to you

-Even with her personal quest out of the way, she has more emotions to sort through, including what she thought was admiration for you

The Iron Bull

-Bull doesn’t ‘fall in love’, it’s always just someone curious or someone wanting some company or something new. Never ‘in love’ and he didn’t think that would ever be something he’d have. He’s a soldier, meant to be used

-Started out as admiration. Was impressed with how you handled yourself and the inquisition. It’s not easy being a leader when you’re thrown head-first into war with a darkspawn

-Starts to question his feelings a bit after helping him during his quest. There’s still admiration, but with every touch, with every word, there was something else. Maybe he just appreciated you more?

-And then you brought him the other half of a dragon tooth. He had spoken about it so off-handedly, not expecting anything further from it and yet here you were, wishing to commit yourself to him. It was that moment that he truly fell in love with his boss.

Dorian

-Doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a romantic. He used to picture the perfect life with someone he truly loves, but since the issues with his family, he had basically given up on that life. Until you

-Most of his partners so far were just flings, so you can bet that he thinks he’s sick when he starts feelings butterflies in his stomach around you or looking to you to lend an ear

-He’s not used to someone caring for what he has to say or actually treating him more than that ‘evil magister from tevinter’, he likes it but is so confused

-He wants to accept these feelings but he’s so unsure of himself, so unsure if this is more than just another one of his flings. Gods, he hopes it is

Sera

-She doesn’t much care for relationships or ‘caring’ or ‘feelings’. If someone’s fun, she’s gonna hang around them more often. Nothing more to it

-Except it’s more than that with you. You’re big and important, nobles talk about you like you’re one of them and lower class praise you like Andraste gave birth to you, but you don’t hold yourself like any of that. You’re not a prick, you’re a goof and you actually enjoy Sera’s company

-She’s so excited when she sees you coming, when you look to her, you’re so easy to read and it’s easy to make you smile and laugh and- Sera’s falling for you

-She’s so inexperienced with these things, she doesn’t know what to do and she doesn’t want to screw up what you two already have. So, for now, she’ll lay low, admiring from a distance

Blackwall

-Blackwall respects the person you are. A fierce warrior but at the same time a kind leader. And he knows you respect him as well, as a person and as one of your companions

-He didn’t know he had more feelings than that till you started to flirt with him. He would have never considered it, not because he didn’t like you, but because he didn’t think he’d ever have that kind of chance with someone

-He pushes them down, trying to convince himself that he didn’t deserve it. You don’t want him, you’d be making a mistake. He could hurt you, he could hurt who you are. But sometimes he’d slip up, let something show

-After his quest, he fully believes that now you’ll truly see he doesn’t deserve you, but he’d forever love you

(Bonus!)

Varric

-Love is a touchy subject. Sure, he knew how to write it and a lot of his readers lapped it up, but that was only from witnessing it and experiencing the worst of it

-Who’d have thunk that he’d become rather attached to the Inquisitor, seeing them as the person they were before the mark, treating them as if they were anyone else, but always offering a shoulder if needed

-He’d worry for you, watch over you, making sure you were ok and not pushing yourself. It wasn’t until he saw you come back from the fade that he realized he cared for you, more than he ever cared for Bianca. Even Hawke would ask if he’s crazy

-Also tries to convince himself that he doesn’t deserve these feelings. You can be so close to someone without them knowing how you feel and it hurts. He had to go through it once, he doesn’t know if he can do it again

(Scout) Lace Harding

-Honestly, she hadn’t planned for you. How could she? She joined the inquisition to help and was made as one of the main scouts for the Inquisitor. She hadn’t planned on the Inquisitor having pleasant conversations with her on the few times they meet, even some playful banter

-She also didn’t plan on seeing you more often when the inquisition was moved to Skyhold. Before now, she had one of the most well-spoken attitude, but with you around she’d stumble over her own words, hitting herself for saying anything embarrassing

-She both hoped she was and wasn’t imagining the flirting, it gave her some hope that maybe you felt the same but also that maybe it was some sort of game.

-She did enjoy your company and, when given the chance, the drinks you two would share. If only you could do this more often, but then she’d be completely smitten with you

[corseque]

Since you played those three’s routes, which one would you suggest if someone wanted the most the thematic ties, without romancing Solas? Blackwall’s feels the most obvious to me, but I’d love your thoughts. Also, how would you rank those romances personally?

BLACKWALL yeah BUT ALSO IRON BULL? And CULLEN too actually?

They’re all so related it’s wild. All 4 are monster husband romances. 

Bear = Blackwall

Lion =  Cullen

Dragon = Iron Bull

Wolf = Solas

In different ways, moral monsters with regrets who are trying to change their life, or are failing to do so. All of them are about the identity of the character, and who they want to be or decide to become. Names, and names changing. Titles and roles in society. Deception and shame.

Hissrad/Iron Bull, becoming tal-vashoth

Blackwall/Rainier, the concept of a “good man”

Cullen as a Templar or a free man

Solas (obvious)

Failure to live up to their promises or their responsibilities to their roles, and generally stories about weakness or faltering

Iron Bull and his responsibility to the Qun but also his men

Blackwall and his responsibility to his men

Cullen and his responsibility to the Inquisition

Solas and his responsibility to the people

About finding faith or strength or trust in those outside themselves

Iron Bull’s shift from the Qun to the Chargers

Blackwall’s shift to the Grey Wardens or the Inquisition

Cullen’s shift from the Templars to the Inquisition

solas’ failure to do this :’(

All of them are about these men trying to transform and heal after experiencing incredible trauma that just breaks you

Blackwall’s deep moral injury, having to live with yourself afterward

Solas’ indescribably deep moral injury that even Cole can barely catch the edges of, it’s so big and horrible

Iron Bull’s deep moral injury, when he lost himself fighting the Fog Warriors, and the tension dividing himself from his people

Cullen’s deep trauma after the Circle collapsed in DAO and Kirkwall collapsed in DA2, and the moral injury of how he contributed to what happened to the mages in Kirkwall, recognizing that and wanting to do better than Meredith

And actually, Bull, Blackwall and Solas in the game fully talk to each other and judge each other and relate and help each other process their traumas because they have such closely related experiences. It makes me so sad that Solas deeply projects onto the others negatively but at the same time is particularly good at helping and comforting the others over these moral injuries. I put their (spoiler) banter under a cut at the end, for reference to show they really do talk to each other about their traumas, and compare themselves to each other. I kind of wish Cullen could have had banters with them too.

As for ranking them, I think they’re all very good. Solasmance is bestmance lol

Blackwall: You haven't said much to me since... well, you know.

Solas: There is little to say. I assumed we were alike. We'd seen war, knew its terrible costs, but understood that it was necessary. But there was nothing necessary in what you did. You did not survive death and destruction. You sowed them. To feed your own desires.

Blackwall: I know that. I see it every time I look in a mirror. I try to make up for it.

Solas: By wearing another skin. You ran away rather than face what you had done. You wasted your time.

Solas: I wish to apologize for what I said to you, Blackwall.

Blackwall: You were right, though. I deserved it.

Solas: My people had a saying long ago - "The healer has the bloodiest hands." You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. You have taken the first step. That is the hardest part.

Solas: So, you and the Inquisitor are together.

Blackwall: Yes. Is that a problem?

Solas: Far from it. People should seize any chance for a moment's respite in times such as these. I am glad you've allowed yourself some happiness.

Blackwall: I expected you to think that I should keep punishing myself.

Solas: I would be concerned if you forgot your past, but that seems unlikely. Beyond that, guilt is a distraction. One we can ill afford.

Blackwall: What of you, then? Have you found someone to share a moment's respite?

Solas: I find my peace elsewhere.

Blackwall: You sacrificed your own men.

Iron Bull: I'm Qunari. We don't flinch from duty.

Blackwall: Your men trusted you. You betrayed that trust when you left them to die.

Iron Bull: No.

Blackwall: No?

Iron Bull: Two key differences between you and me, Rainier.

Iron Bull: First, I didn't kill a wagon full of kids.

Iron Bull: My men were holding a position to secure an objective. I mourn their loss and honor their sacrifice.

Iron Bull: And second, I'm proud of who I am. I hope that's not a problem for you.

Blackwall: Not unless you ask me to hold a hill, Qunari.

Blackwall: So, Bull, how does it feel to be Tal-Vashoth?

Iron Bull: Feels a bit like I've been living a lie, and now it's coming back to bite me in the ass. What's that like, Blackwall?

Blackwall: Calm down, I meant no offense.

Blackwall: As you say, I know something of being cut off from a past life, having to find a new way.

Iron Bull: Well, you could've just led with that.

Blackwall: In any event, you have the Chargers. You haven't lost everything.

Iron Bull: Yeah, I think I'm good.

Iron Bull: Now, isn't this better? Getting the burden of that lie off your chest?

Blackwall: And exchanging it for the burden of everyone hating me? Yes. So much better.

Iron Bull: Hey, I don’t hate you. You and me? We’re good.

Iron Bull: Now that you know who you are, you can stop doubting yourself and start hitting crap again.

Blackwall: Why don't we hit a few bottles first, huh?

Solas: You fought the Tal-Vashoth for a long time, Iron Bull, did you not?

Iron Bull: Every day.

Iron Bull: I'd kill some of them, they'd kill some of my guys, and then I'd kill them some more.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters.

Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don't know.

Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

Iron Bull: Nice job in that last fight, Solas. You really kicked the crap outta that guy.

Solas: I suppose.

Iron Bull: What, you don't think so? You ripped him a new one. It was great!

Solas: Unless the fight is personal, violence is a means to an end. It isn't appropriate to celebrate.

Iron Bull: I don't know. Gotta wonder about anyone who fights as much as we do and doesn't have some fun with it.

Solas: We have fought living men, with loves and families, and all that they might have been is gone.

Iron Bull: Yeah, but they were assholes!

Iron Bull: So, you going to let me have it, Solas? Or do I get to wait and wonder.

Solas: What do you mean?

Iron Bull: We've got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured...

Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions?

Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission.

Solas: I never said otherwise.

Solas: The truth is, Iron Bull, you are Qunari. I cannot be disappointed in your decisions.

Solas: As a mindless, soulless drone, you could never make any.

Solas: You are not Tal-Vashoth, Iron Bull, not really.

Iron Bull: Well that's a fuckin' relief.

Solas: You are no beast, snapping under the stress of the Qun's harsh discipline.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life.

Iron Bull: I've always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth?

Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

Iron Bull: Thanks, Solas.

[mydrug-is-dragonage]

Dar Atishan, A Talk with Cole

“Wind and whispers, dreams and demons, ‘why don’t they ever want me enough to want me?’” My ears perked up and I saw Cole walking towards me on the battlements. I glanced at him and returned, hunched over and brooding, watching the snow blow of the tops of mountains. “You’re hurt and hurting, all three of you wounded, worried, ‘was it the right decision?’”

I turn around and face him, smirking. “Do they have love in the Fade?”

“‘Hahren Morriel warned me, the shemlen are fickle, but the elf too?’ Wanting, wondering, ‘what else could I do?’” I sighed and patted the battlements. I pushed myself up with my hands and he joined me, legs dangling over the edge. “You’re sad.”

“I am.”

“They think it was the right decision.”

“I know.”

“But they’re sad, too. Brooding, breaking, ‘Bull said it’d help me with the ladies, but it’d break her.’” He looked towards the barn. I sighed and looked up towards the sky, clear and full of stars. “Dust, danger, delightful, distraction, ‘if she’s real, what if they’re all real, too?’”

I shake my head. “Cole, stop.”

“I want to help,” he says. He looks up, his shaggy hair nearly hiding his big eyes. I put a hand on his knee.

“I don’t think you get to help,” I said.

“Why?” He asks, his voice full of genuine curiosity.

“Can I tell you a story?”

“Sixteen, sweating, ‘Will we make it?’”

“Yes, that story. Stay out of my head, let me tell you, not show you.” He nods and puts his hand in his lap. “When I was sixteen, my vallaslin fresh, my sword sharpened, I went on a hunt with a boy.”

“Tallen.”

“Yes, Tallen. Tallen was a few years older than me, an accomplished hunter. We’d been out in the forest for a few days. He was certain he’d found some clues that would lead to some ancient artifact, something Keeper Istimaethoriel could make use of. Remind of us of the old ways.” I looked towards Cole, his gaze stuck on the lines arching across my face. “So we looked. We looked and looked and looked. Days passed, and we couldn’t seem to find whatever his sources had led him to.”

“Boredom, bothered, ‘This is worse than when the aravel breaks,’” he said. “Sorry. I’ll try to stay outside.”

“Thank you, Cole. Yes, I was bored and angry. I’d only agreed to come along because of Tallen. None of the other hunters thought it was worth our time. The Keeper wasn’t especially keen. But Tallen,” I said. I trailed off, taken back to the forest, a girl with fresh ink, so sure of what I’d chosen, Elgarnan’s markings across my face.

“But Tallen?”

“Right, but Tallen wanted to go, and I wanted to help, and I wanted to spend time with him, alone,” I said. I looked at Cole and raised an eyebrow. His face stayed as placid as ever. “So we wandered. We looked. We found nothing. One night, deep in the forest, we found a cave to sleep in. We’d build a small fire, roasted a bird we’d killed. We sat, quietly listening to the forest.” I looked up at the sky again, constellations dancing around. I heard the Hahren speaking about the legends, the Elven gods, the Dread Wolf.

“As we finished dinner, I heard stirring from the back of the cave. I didn’t have time to fully put on my armor, but I grabbed my chest plate and my blade, I got Tallen’s attention and pointed towards the darkness beyond us. He grabbed his bow, and started to draw an arrow. Before he could get a good shot lined up, darkspawn came running towards us,” I said. Cole closed his eyes. “I’d never seen one up close. I’d heard stories growing up, of course. We’d avoided the Blight, but everyone knew of them, their corruption. I got a few good swings, killed one right away. Tallen had time to back up, start taking shots at different ones as they approached me.”

“You were afraid,” he said.

“I was. I was so young, this was my first real mission.”

“You lived.”

“Or maybe I’m a spirit, too, drawn to the dying elf.”

“Jokes and jaunting, ‘laughter makes it easier,’” he said.

“Does it bother you?”

“No, you still like me. You see me all the time,” he said.

“I thought that was your decision.”

“I did, too. Go on. I like the way your voice carries the past,” he said.

“The darkspawn kept coming and coming. Soon enough I realized they were too many to fight, the two of us. Tallen called out to me,  I gave him a clear shot and we ran from the cave. We ran and ran and ran until our legs were going to give out. The darkspawn never let up.. We reached a cliff. The darkspawn were maybe four hundred feet away, running towards us as they had, corrupting everything in their path. Tallen looked over the edge, then back at me. He grabbed my face and kissed me.”

“First, frolicking, filthy, ‘I’d hoped I’d be clean.’ You’d wanted to kiss him?”

I laughed. “For a long time. Tallen was so handsome, so strong and brave. He’d be a good partner, he was a good man. I’d only come along so he’d be forced to see me as a woman instead of the child I’d been.”

“Did it work?”

“You don’t kiss children like that,” I said. “When we pulled apart, he said, ‘trust me’ and put out a hand. I put mine in his, and we jumped over the edge.”

“Maybe you are a spirit,” he said.

“I was lucky,” I laughed. “We landed in a lake, deep enough that we didn’t break any bones. The water helped wash away the darkspawn blood. When I came up for air, I looked around, gasping. I saw Tallen, swam over towards him, put my arms around him, and kissed him again, how I’d wanted to.”

“He tasted like fire and lake water,” he said.

I nodded. “We stood in the water for a time, embracing. Then we found our way to the shore. The darkspawn didn’t follow, so we made another small fire and slept for the night. The next morning, when I woke up he was gone. I panicked, put on my chest plate and went searching for him. I saw him on a far hill, picking flowers. Cole, in that moment I could have died.”

“But you wanted the flowers?”

“Good die, not bad die.”

“There’s different kinds of dying?” Cole asked.

“I settled back into camp, and he returned. Together we made our way back to the clan. When we arrived, Keeper Istimaethoriel came up and gave us a hug. The Keeper’s daughter, Asharell came up too and put her arms around Tallen. He reached in his pack and gave her the flowers.”

“You wanted to die then, too. Good die?”

“Bad die,” I said. “My heart broke into a thousand little pieces. We’d kissed, we’d survived darkspawn, and he picked flowers for the pretty girl back home instead of me.” I stopped and swallowed. The night air on the battlements had begun to chill, and goose bumps rose on my arms. “After we’d had a proper bath and a proper meal, I wandered near the halla. Tallen came up to me.”

“Kissing, killing, crying, chilling ‘No hard feelings?’ Oh. He was an ass.” I laughed and patted him on the back.

“Yes, he was. Apparently he’d long been sweet on Asharell and wanted to go on this expedition to impress the Keeper so he could marry his daughter. Our daring tale and the flowers had certainly done their part,” I said. “He came up to me and said, ‘I hope we can keep it a secret. It was the moment, fear of death and all that.’ I nodded, said it was fine. He was afraid he’d die. I was there. People have made worse choices under fear.”

“You carry this hurt like a scar,” he said. “But now, it cracks upon, and it’s hurting all the same.”

“When Solas and I kissed in the Fade, I was so excited. I hadn’t done anything like that in a long time,” I said. “But when we woke up, he said it was a bad decision, a mistake. So I let him go.” I put my hands on my knees and took a deep breath. “Then Blackwall and I, traveling, laughing. It came so suddenly, I thought the Creators had given me a second chance. We went and found his badge, we sat by the fire light.”            “But he also said it was wrong,” Cole said.

“After Tallen and Asharell married,  I spoke to the Hahren. I needed some advice. He told me, his years of wisdom, ‘You cannot beg anyone to love you.’”

“So when they said no, you believed them.”

“I’m not going to convince them otherwise. If they don’t want me enough to want me honestly, I won’t fight for it,” I said. My eyes welled up and Cole put his hand on mine.

“They could have been convinced,” he said, “but that wouldn’t have been right. It would have hurt you more than losing them.”

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. “I think maybe love just isn’t for me. Before I wasn’t anyone, now I’m so much more than myself.”

“Willfull, wanting, given, gotten, ‘I’ve given up so much, maybe she could be for me, maybe this woman I could keep,’” he said.

“That’s not how I feel.”

“That isn’t you,” he said. I sat up straighter and looked at him. His eyes glanced down, Cullen leaning over the battlements, his own late night stroll.

“Josephine?” I asked. He shook his head. “Cassandra?” He shook his head again.

“Lost and longing, lyrium-sick, ‘She’s so powerful, so strong, how could she ever want anyone like me?’” Cole looked back at me.

I swallow and look at him, his hands running through his hair. “I never thought, I mean, I’d flirted, but he seemed so closed off. I assumed,” I trailed off.

“‘What if the lyrium takes me? What if I’m not strong enough? She deserves someone strong enough to carry her burdens. She deserves someone without the weight I carry.’”

“Thank you, Cole. This helped.” We hopped off the edge and I gave him another pat on the shoulder.

“Thank you. I’m happy I helped.”

[aarongoldenwrites]

Alright. Get ready for a trip. I'm gonna go point by point through this because I'm obsessed with these games, I dig the real world connotations, and the new trailer just dropped and I haven't played any DA since the flood. So...

We need to start with a discussion of Solas in general. He's Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf. He fought against institutionalized and systemic slavery, freed his people, and fought alone against corrupt being powerful enough to be considered gods (and they are the old gods of the Tevinter Imperium, I believe, but that's a whole other thing). He created the veil and imprisoned the gods, possibly in Black City, and doing so nearly killed him and sent him into a thousand year coma. He didn't understand the consequences of his actions, but he trusted people enough not to mess it up further.

And then he woke up.

Let us start with the Qun. The Qun is fascism. Individual Qunari are fascinating individuals, especially when they are removed from the Qun as a whole – Sten and the Iron Bull being our prime examples. But everything we know about them paints them as fanatics that torture mages and lobotomize anyone that doesn't accept their philosophy. Their entire culture is systemic slavery, which is the very thing Solas opposed. Of course he hates them.

There's two instances that can change his mind: one is a possible Qunari Inquisitor, but your Inquisitor is Vashoth (edit 2020/09/03: as noted by @felassan -- thanks!), someone who was never part of the Qun. He's not been awake long enough to see it, and it shocks him out of binary thinking. He's apologizing badly, because he's personally a social disaster who doesn't know how to people (and we'll get to that). The second is if you choose to save the Chargers; Solas turns around on the Bull instantly, shows genuine concern towards him, and helps him deal with Fade-related PTSD.

In fact, all he ever wants to do is teach. If he comes out and says he's Fen'Harel people are going to assume he's a crackpot, but I think Solas, as a persona, is actually who he is. He jokes with the Bull and Blackwall about his Fade knowledge, and offers them both knowledge on how to kill fade spirits more efficiently. All three of them respect one another as soldiers. He compares knowledge of magic and history with Dorian, Cassandra seeks his opinion on organization and faith, Josephine appreciates his insight, Leliana asks his advice, and Varric and he chatter and shoot the shit.

He constantly tries to teach or learn. The only two people he has issues with are Sera and Vivienne, and even there he tries to offer advice and wisdom as best he's able. Sera can't stand him because she hates elves, and Viv is a victim of the Circle and can't imagine a world without an entrenched power structure, regardless of how many people it hurts.

And I suppose that's a thing a lot of people have trouble with when it comes to Solas: he tells you straight out at the end of Trespasser that he's going to tear down the Veil and destroy the world as we know it. And that's terrible. That's destroying a world state and trying to return thing to how they were, kind of like how the Inquisitor and Dorian reset time in Redcliffe. I mean, that world was a hellscape where everything you ever cared about was dead or corrupted, and fixing it was the right call. It's not at all like how the world Solas wakes up to is a hellscape where everything he ever cared about was dead or corrupted. Fixing it is the right call?

And we could argue that the future that we averted was a monstrous place, but how does Solas see his own world? His people worship the slavers he defeated and die with a terrible frequency. Elves die and face fates that are about as terrible as that faced by mages; he's fucked coming and going. And we know he went to the Dalish and tried to talk to them and they attacked him. Why wouldn't they? He knows about what's happening outside of the Plato's cave that the Dalish are dying in.

His actions are going to kill thousands. His actions are going to save millions. The Dalish are dying in droves and the city elves are going to follow. Giving them a fighting chance at survival means reminding them who they are.

He also tells us that waking up was like “swimming in tranquil”. I think creating the Veil crippled the elves in some way, and he's not trying to give them magic so much as he's trying to heal them of a disease he inadvertently created. And while I know it's hard to take him at his word, it shouldn't be: he lies by omission once (about being Fen'harel, as we've covered the reasons why already), and lies directly twice.

After Orlais, he talks about how much he missed intrigue and court. If you ask him about this, he stumbles and you get disapproval – the only time you get disapproval for asking him a question. He lets his guard down around you and still doesn't know what to do.

The last time is in Crestwood and only happens if you romance him. He's about to tell you who he is and he chickens out and tells you about the slave marks on your face instead. Because – and this is the important thing – he cares. He's viciously selfless; he doesn't believe he deserves happiness and he can't imagine a world where he can save his people and be happy.

Make no mistake: the elves are threatened with extinction with the world as it is. The city elves in Origins are blamed when they react to some of their number being raped and killed by human nobles. The Dalish in Origins can be wiped out by the werewolves. The Dalish in Awakening are wiped out regardless of what you do. The Dalish in DA2 can be wiped out in Act 3. The city elves in Kirkwall are hunted for sport, see their children kidnapped and raped before being murdered, are locked away and left to burn whenever there's any problem at all. Three different Dalish clans can be wiped out in Inquisition, and it's so easy for Lavellen to lose her clan.

The status quo is killing the elves. It is wiping them out. This is an existential threat that no one is doing anything about, except Solas.

He's also lonely.

He says he was derided by his enemies also when he offered to share his knowledge of the Fade. We took this to mean the Dalish before Trespasser, but given who he is, we can speculate that he's talking about the old elven gods. But if his enemies derided them, that means his allies did, too. His old allies still saw him as a madman and a fool, probably because he was one man standing against an empire. He clearly couldn't trust anyone in the old days, and even tells Sera he had to sacrifice some of those closest to him for fear of betrayal.

Consider that the Inquisition was the first time he had friends. No one knows him as anything other than the elven apostate hobo with bad fashion sense and a weird relationship with spirits, but, as mentioned, he has mostly good relationships with everyone. People rely on him. They like him. Lavellan potentially loves him, and he loves her.

You change his mind on the Qunari race (but not their culture). You show him that he was wrong and he accepts that with good grace and moves on; he keeps coming to the Inquisitor afterwards because he respects you and he does not want to do what he sees as the only way to avoid genocide. I don't think he ever stops feeling bad about any of the things he's gotten wrong; he wears his mistakes like a chain and tries to do better, never stops trying to do better, but his perspective and capability are so much greater than anything the Warden, the Champion, or even the Inquisitor currently understands.

And I wouldn't be surprised if we get a chance to fold him back into the party at some point. I think the actual villain of the series lies with the monsters the Evanuris fought against and were corrupted by.

I think the actual villains are the Forgotten Ones, and I think they are the Blight, and I think they are what lies in the corruption we know as Red Lyrium.      

[emerald-amidst-gold]

No Title. Only Self Indulgence.

This little idea was stuck in my head, and it was an excuse to make Fane and Solas act like dragon dads again, so I had to. I had to. 

I guess you could consider it ‘spoilers’, but I think everyone knows what the hell Fane is. I haven’t decided how the later chapters are gonna go exactly. So, just view this as a ‘creative’ process - a potential concept for later.

Pairing: Solavellan (Male Lavellan/Solas)

Warnings: None

“Are you certain of this, vhenan? There is still time to intervene.”, Solas asked him with a somber expression - the two of them watching from the shadows as his sister and the others of the Inner Circle swarmed around the clearing of where they had fought against Corypheus. 

Fane merely watched with a semblance of indifference, but inside his whole soul was roaring in anguish and agony, especially as he saw the wave of tears begin to run down Mhairi’s pale cheeks. The pure agony in his sister’s eyes had him shutting his own as the emotions embedded in them were too much for him to bear.

“No. This is the way it has to be. I have accepted that.”, he stated with a pained grimace cracking his stoic mask before continuing, “I wish there was another way, but all I have discovered does not point to one. And so, I must break the leash that binds me.”

Solas simply gave him a hum in sad agreement as the mage reached back to throw up the cowl to conceal his head before delicately brushing a few fingers against the palm of Fane’s hand. 

“We should leave, then, or all of this will have been for naught.”, Solas warned him gently as his hand slowly slipped into Fane’s own.

Fane continued to observe the display below them before closing his eyes once more. Yes, it was time to go. With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw up his own hood before taking Solas’s hand more firmly - giving it a tender squeeze which elicited a small, but sad smile from Solas as the mage began to guide him away from the edge of the hill they were on. Fane followed without a word nor chancing a glance back as he heard his sister’s agonizing wails from beyond. 

Observe and accept. Accept that this is the path you have chosen, but do not forget where it began. He told himself with firmness before striding up to walk beside Solas more confidently. 

Solas gave his hand another soft squeeze before a tiny chirp sounded from the mage’s pack - a tiny white head popping out of it not a second later to look around curiously. Fane and Solas both looked at each other before the mage let out a fond chuckle - reaching back to stroke the tiny dragon’s head.

“Good morning, little one. Or I should say, ‘good evening’. Sleep well?”, Solas asked the white baby dragon - its scales bristling from the touch before it let out a quiet chirp of confirmation, spurring Solas to let out a fond coo, “Excellent. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

Fane couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his sky and his newborn kin despite the grief that weighed down on him. This was what he was abandoning everything else for - his kin. He was willing to sacrifice the world and the people in it only so that his kin could live without fear of being broken and bound again. He hoped that in the months to come, that there would be another way to achieve that without killing everyone, but in his heart, Fane knew that there would be death and heartbreak no matter what. Even so, the sight of his newborn so happy washed away the pain he was feeling; if only for the moment. 

“Hey.”, he called to Solas softly, the mage stopping his fawning over the little dragon to look up at him with a sad, but hopeful smile. “Yes, vhenan?”, Solas asked - the little dragon chirping at Fane excitedly. Fane chuckled fondly at the little dragon, reaching over to give it a gentle stroke before leaning down to nudge a pale cheek tenderly. 

Solas met his action immediately with a nudge of his own - stormy eyes filled with sorrow, but fondness for him.

“I love you.”, he said with a tenderness he rarely ever showed before stopping his nudging to put their foreheads together. 

Solas’s eyes immediately shifted with hues of deep blue and indigo as the love Fane had professed became reflected in them - a tender smile spreading across Solas’s face as he tilted his head to gaze into Fane’s own eyes more deeply.

“Ar lath ma, ma’isenatha.”, Solas murmured to him quietly before their lips brushed together lightly. 

Fane huffed in amusement at the timidness. This fool still thought he couldn’t handle a kiss, didn’t he? Well, then.. 

With a bold, but gentle movement, Fane closed the distance between the two of them - slotting their lips together easily as he tilted his head a bit to deepen the kiss with a calm huff through his nose. Solas froze for a moment upon the contact, but immediately relaxed as Fane deepened the kiss - allowing himself to be swept up in the emotions harbored within it. 

“Hm..”, he hummed out softly before taking another step towards Solas - cupping the man’s face firmly as their lips moved together more deeply and slowly. 

Solas responded with a hum of his own, reaching up to gently hold onto the hands cupping his face as he allowed Fane to lead. Fane slowly became more insistent with his kisses as he carefully, but boldly slipped his tongue into Solas’s mouth - the mage offering no resistance at the action, immediately entwining his tongue with Fane’s in a slow, but bold dance. 

Fane let out a soft growl leave his lips as he began to stroke Solas’s cheeks - the grief from before beginning to crop back up as his emotions ramped up. He wanted to lose himself in the kiss. He wanted to forget everything - if only for the time being. All the pain he had inflicted and the doubt and grief that went along with it was reflected in the dance of tongue and lips as Fane tilted Solas’s head back more with his hands - the elven man letting out an understanding, but quiet moan to let Fane know he knew. With a slow movement, Fane gently pulled his lips away from Solas, a trail of saliva connecting them before he shut his mouth with a pained grimace. 

“Shit..”, he cursed as tears began to prick at his eyes, “Shit..”, he cursed again as the tears began to flow despite his efforts to hold them back.

“Oh, Fane..”, Solas said with a sorrowful tone, carefully leaning up to peck at his cheeks gingerly - a thumb coming up to catch the tears as they fell. “Shh, my heart. I know it hurts. I know.. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you..”, the mage apologized brokenly - the little dragon watching the two of them with a sad growl. 

Despite the tears rolling down his cheeks, Fane couldn’t help but offer the little dragon a smile when he saw the hue of gold attempt to light up - the newborn attempting to ease his pain with its abilities. 

“Look at you. Already, you wish to use your nature as you should..”, he told the little dragon before more tears began to flow, “I..I will make sure you can once again. You will never know a magical leash as long as I am alive. I promise you..”, he vowed around a sob as he let his tears flow unbidden. 

Strong arms wove themselves around his neck to pull him into a tender embrace as he cried - letting his face bury itself into Solas’s shoulder as choked sobs wracked his body. Solas’s hand gently worked its way under his hood to lovingly stroke at whitened hair as he murmured soothing to him.

“You will free them, my dragon. You will..”, Solas encouraged him quietly. All Fane could do was offer a single, but firm nod to Solas’s words before took a deep breath to compose himself - slowly standing up straight to stare into stormy orbs before speaking with resolve.

“We will. And we will free your people, as well, my sky. I vow to you.”, Fane proclaimed passionately, even as tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but kept his face hard with feigned strength.

Solas gave him a grateful, tender, but sorrowful smile before opting to give him a single nod - his own face hardening despite the continued softness in his stormy blue eyes.

“As I vow to you.”, Solas echoed his words before taking Fane’s hand once more - intending to lead him away once more, “Come. We must go.”

Fane nodded once more before easily falling into step next to Solas - their hands linked as if it were the only thing keeping the two from drifting apart. The little dragon’s head swiveled between the two of them before it let out a happy cry. Fane watched as Solas startled before he himself chuckled.

“It seems he has made a vow, as well.”, Fane explained when he saw Solas looking up at the little dragon on his shoulder in confusion.

Solas glanced up at him before a smile of understanding spread on his face, cracking the hardened mask from before.

“Is that so?”, Solas asked the little dragon softly, tilting his head so the newborn could nuzzle at his cheek happily, “Then I accept your vow, little one. As does he.”, the mage said, indicating to Fane with his free hand. 

Fane nodded with his own strained, but soft smile when the white baby dragon looked at him with wide emerald gold eyes. 

Those are the eyes I wish to protect more than anything. They will never be grey again. He thought before nodded once more at the little dragon, “I accept your vow made amid bloodied fields, and vow to you in turn so that emerald pools may forever echo the warmth of gold.”, he said with ease, the little dragon’s wings spreading with excited chirps. 

He watched the little newborn fondly, even as Solas’s hand squeezed his own - the intensity of his stare feeling like no more than the warmth of the sun even as pale moonlight shrouded them in shadow. Yes, this was what all the agony and heartbreak would accomplish; a future where his kin could live as they deserved - as they must. So, he would endure it all in their stead. He would endure until the moon and sun went dark. He would endure until the land beneath his feet crumbled into ash. And he would endure until the day storm colored eyes refused to reflect the sky; his own then refusing to reflect golden trees from the sky’s absence. 

For Fane - no, Aterian - was a dragon, even as his body belonged to the creatures of the immutable world; the wolf currently walking next to him with his own head held high from endurance was the sky, even as he was connected to both the physical world and the Fade. And the only way to fell a dragon was to tear the sky asunder; the only way to tear the sky asunder was to fell a dragon that guarded it. And neither would happen unless the other fell first. 

Solas was ‘He Who Walks Alone’, but the world always forgot what the two of them never would, and that what Fane had and still was. 

Fane was ‘The One Who Flew Above’ - the Dragon of the Dread Wolf, and it would be the only title he would allow to bind him to another. For now and forever.

[fenharel-babe]

By the way this is rlly long-

Just a reminder that I still think of Solas angst and here’s another one :)))

Like,,,imagining her writing letters for him. Not sending the letters to him but just...writing letters as if she would send them to him. It’s like a diary. She doesn’t know why she started doing it, but she needed to get words out of her head, so she started writing them. She just says what she did that day. She didn’t do it everyday, but everytime she did something big. Whenever she solved a extremely difficult task, helped so many people in just a few days, or had a funny story to tell. She would write it as if she was talking to him. It gave her comfort during these times. Almost no one ever knew she did it. The only person who did was Cassandra when she caught her. Bloom doesn’t know Cassandra did, but Cassandra knows what she’s doing. And she feels an ache in her heart for her dear friend. Solas did her so wrong and he’s going to destroy the world. Cassandra doesn’t know how to feel either. Solas was a little weird to her, but she gave him respect like he did to her. They talked a lot and they gave each other respect. However, now that trust was betrayed...but she still was conflicted with her feelings towards Solas. Just like Bloom (my inquisitor) was.

And then maybe when the final battle comes or when she finds a way to stop Solas, but it’s very dangerous, she goes to Cassandra and tells her to give him her letters. All of them. They’re in her room and she tells her where they’re hidden and that she needs to give them to him. She practically begs. Cassandra can’t help but promise her, but she begs her to return. Bloom can’t promise her that, but she promises that she’ll try her best. In the end, she does what she needs to do, and Solas only realizes he has lost when he sees Blooms body on the ground. The rest of the fighters are far away from the two of them, as if the world knew this was going to happen. Like the world was laughing in his face and giving him this last chance to be with her. He runs over to her and holds her in his arms. She lets out a whimper of pain, but looks him in the eyes and she smiled.

She smiled.

She smiled at the man that just led to her death. The man that almost destroyed the world. The man that would have if it weren’t for her. He couldn’t smile back at her, he let out a little breath. “Hey, there,” she said. He was still silent, not knowing how to respond to her. “I’m so sorry, Bloom,” he managed to choke out, his voice shaking as tears fell down his cheeks, landing on her own cheeks. She let out a groan as she reached up her right hand to wipe the tears away. “No crying. Not now. I don’t want the last thing I see is you crying.” Leave it to her to try and make things okay, even as she’s dying. However, his tears continued to fall.

He leaned down so their foreheads could touch and he closed his eyes as she did. “I’m sorry I did this,” she whispered out. He opened his eyes in a rush and pulled back and looked a little angry. “Sorry? Why are you sorry? You’re dying and it’s my fault,” he almost shouted. “I did this, Solas. I made this choice. Yes, you...” she paused. “You May have lead to this, but I still chose to stop you. I chose to sacrifices myself.” She tried to justify her actions and tried to make Solas feel like it wasn’t all his fault. But it wasn’t working. It never would work.

If only he listened to her...this wouldn’t have happened. She wouldn’t be dying here.

“Remember me, Vhenan. You will receive a gift,” she said with a little smirk. He tried to smile back, but he couldn’t. He placed his hand on her cheek and stroked it. “I will never forget you.” She leaned up (with his help) and kissed him one, last time. He held on to her tight, as if that could save her. But it couldnt. Nothing could at this point. And oh how he regrets everything he’s done. But he just kisses her, showing her his love in her final moments. And when she dies, she at least dies in the arms of her heart. Her Vhenan.

And then when Cassandra sees that Bloom has died, she mourns like everyone else, and a bit harder than everyone else. She knew mages were dangerous, but Bloom was one of her closest friends. Bloom ruled her magic, ruled everyone with a kind heart and always gave her best. It was hard to not admire her. However, even as Cassandras mourning, about a week later after Blooms death, she remembers her promise to her. Even though it sickens her a little to face Solas, she knows he’s suffering just as much as everyone, maybe even a little more. Plus, she knows she has to do this. He deserves to know of her sadness. Not to make him feel worse...but to remember her. Just like all of Thedas would.

“Solas,” Cassandras voice called out. It echoed in the emptiness of the inquisitors room. Solas slept in Blooms quarters, trying to imagine her there with him. He was laying on the bed and didn’t dare move. “Well, I know you’re Awake. You’re rarely asleep.” She tried to sound composed, but her voice was shaking at being back Ik this room. She remembers Bloom and her thinking of plans up here, talking, and enjoying time together. Her voice was shaking but she shrugged it off and took a breath. “You haven’t seen the letters have you?” After a few seconds, Solas leaned up and looked over to Cassandra.

She was leaning on Blooms desk, her back facing it, in her room, looking conflicted. “What letters?” His voice was raw and tired, and she felt sympathy for him. Even if she wasn’t supposed to. When he said that, Cassandra when to the front of her desk and pulled a key out of her pocket. She paused before she unlocked the drawer. It wasn’t even her writings, it was Blooms. Why was she getting emotional? Maybe it’s because it’s her last thing she ever wrote. The last thing she ever put all of her emotion into. But Cassandra opens the drawer and finds a box full of letters. It makes her sad, but she picks it up and slams it on the desk. Anger was rising in her.

She put all of this emotion out there. On these pages. Her sadness caused by a man who’s head was far up his ass, and Cassandra was witnessing said man having the gall to be sad and regret his choices. “After these letters, you will realize how wrong you were even more than you had. You say you understand what she went through, but do you?” Cassandras voice was filled with venom. She wasn’t trying to be angry, she wasn’t, but it took over her. Blooms innocent life that was stolen had put her into a mess. “Even after these letters you will not understand. I witnessed her writing these. She cried over these pages. Cried over you. But I will leave you be,” she said, leaving the room before more hatred left her mouth.

Solas stared at the desk for a second, not able to move. He thought that if he stared long enough, she would appear at the desk...but he knows that’s not how it works. He gets up and goes over to the desk and looks in the basket. It was filled to the brim with letters. They all had his name written on the front of them. Written in her glorious handwriting. When he opened them, his heart crashed. He apparently fished out the last letter she wrote. The one before the final battle. He opened it and he read over it and he could hear the sadness in her voice if she said these aloud.

“Solas. I’m scared for tomorrow. It’s not for me...it’s for you. I don’t want to kill you, Solas. I don’t want to. I’ll do whatever I have to for it not to lead up to that. And I have a plan. A plan you will hate. I have to sacrifice myself. I love you, Solas. But I cannot let you destroy this world, full of people who don’t deserve this. Why not teach them? Tell them of their mistakes. We changed once and why can’t we change again?”

Before he knew it, tears fell down his cheeks. Of course she would say that. That people can change and be saved. She was always the one saying that, and he wasn’t surprised that it was one of the last things she wrote. He read the rest and it was her telling him how much she loved him. He read more and more. They talked about her helping kids, saving some animals, talked about her bad days (which he wishes he was there to comfort her...), tell funny stories, and they always ended with, “I love you, Solas.” He stayed up into the late hours of the night reading through this letters.

His heart aches now. And his fear has come true. He will die alone. Without his heart...

Hehe I LOVE sadness >:)))). And if you want a happy ending (LIKE I DO :() then just imagine her surviving and then him finding the letters and then both crying but just saying how they love each other :))). Take this sadness while I go read some Solas fics and CRY MY EYES OUT.

No proof reading bc it’s late and I’m tired. Sorry if there’s mistakes.

[cloudgazercadash]

Thora and solas banter after adamant

party banter meme | accepting | @theshirallen

Solas: You have been quiet since we made camp.Thora: Just… thinking.Solas: About the Warden?Thora: I don’t know how I’m going to look her husband in the eye and tell him what happened.Solas: It will not be easy, but I believe he will be understanding. She was a Warden, and a warrior before that, death is so much a part of their life that it is written in their motto.Thora: Knowing it’s a possibility doesn’t make facing it any easier.Solas: No, it does not. The world is less without her in it, let us hope the Wardens follow by her example.

Solas: What dwarven funerary rites are there?Thora: I only know what I’ve read, but they can get extravagant, grand ceremonies where bodies are committed to the earth, that sort of thing. Though they can be simple as just a few words spoken over the body.Solas: What words are they?Thora:Atrast tunsha. Totarnia amgetol tavash aeduc. (sighs heavily) But it doesn’t matter, dwarves that die on the Surface never return to the Stone, no matter how many words you speak over them. I imagine it’s no different in the Fade.Solas: I see.Thora: Maybe the Maker will step in. Maybe… I… I don’t know.Solas: Neither do I, but it is comforting to consider.

Thora: How is Ian?Solas: He has been… quiet. After all that has happened– processing these things is difficult. I was worried he would run, yet he remains.Thora: I’m sorry.Solas: It is not your doing.Thora: Maybe not, but… I’m sorry.

(after Solas returns from Destroy Adamant Fortress with the Chargers)

Thora: How was your field trip with the Chargers?Solas: From the time I spent with them I believe I better understand the Iron Bull. They were lively, aside from one…Thora: Grim?Solas: Yes. I thought I might have been the cause for his silence, but when they gave me his name it assuaged my doubts.Thora: Yeah, he’s like that with everyone as far as I know. Did the– were you able to set up the monument safely?Solas: It is modest, but even if it falls, it is sure to be remembered by the Fade. Thank you again, for allowing me to mark their loss.Thora: I can’t make people remember, but… it was the least I could do.

[lord-woolsley]

Stumbling Steps

Fandom: Dragon Age Inquisition (Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford) Chapters: 1/1 (3105 words) Rating: Teen And Up Summary: Surrounded by at least 12 nobles Cullen had felt quite uncomfortable since they had arrived at the Winter Palace but with the evening progressing and the alcohol flowing his “suitors“ had become bolder. Cullen is in distress, Dorian saves the day. Rant: If you like it, please leave some love on ao3. ♡ Ao3: Link

Stumbling Steps

“Smile, Commander, you’re so handsome when you smile.“ “He’s just as handsome when he doesn’t.“

Cullen asked himself if the Maker intended to punish him for something. Maybe for leaving the Order, standing against the Chantry‘s will by supporting the Inquisition or more likely for the disaster that had happened in Kirkwall. That must have been it. The Maker probably blamed him for not seeing through Meredith’s grand scheme earlier or maybe he had done something wrong during his time at the Circle Tower in Ferelden and couldn’t remember anymore. Most of it was a blur anyway.

He had been the Templar recruit who had fled from the Hero of Ferelden after all because she – he still blushed thinking about it - had flirted with him. This here is what happens to guys that run away instead of facing their problems, he thought to himself.

He sometimes should have shown more initiative, he was aware of that. Blindly following orders had been his weakness in the past, one he was happy he had overcome.

Cullen didn’t know for which of these shortcomings he was punished here exactly but he had obviously done something very very wrong to deserve this.

Surrounded by at least 12 nobles he had felt quite uncomfortable since they had arrived at the Winter Palace but with the evening progressing and the alcohol flowing his “suitors“ had become bolder. Cullen was pretty sure someone had squeezed his butt just now.

“Did you grab...my bottom?“, he asked, his face flushed red but his voice angry. “I couldn’t help myself.“, the lady exclaimed, she sounded like she thought she was entitled to do to him whatever she desired. Nobles. He wanted to retch.

The woman didn’t seem to notice it or she just didn’t care. Cullen frowned and feared it was the latter because she was already holding out a hand again, trying to touch the scar on his lip. Cullen used his Templar training and dodged. He was being attacked here after all, not with weapons but with something far worse.

“Are you married, Commander?“ “Not yet... but I‘m already taken.“ It was a blatant lie but he had hoped some of them would show at least some respect considering the prospect of him being in a relationship. "Still single, then.“ Or not.

Why would he even think these people cared about someone being taken, had they harassed him the whole evening without any consent from his side, the opposite even. He doubted even a ring on his finger could have stopped or avoided this.

Cullen wanted to escape the Ballroom, run away and leave Halamshiral for good, doing exactly what he had done to the Hero of Ferelden all those years ago. He wanted to be a coward again. Corypheus, the Breach and the assassination attempt on Celene’s life be damned.

“You must dance with me, Commander, you cannot stand about all evening.“ “I‘m afraid not, thank you.“

This was definitely the woman who had grabbed his butt a few second ago. He would rather dance with an archdemon in Haven’s ruins with Solas watching and commenting on his bad posture instead of staying here for one minute longer. But he had to be polite and couldn’t risk to snap, Josephine‘s disappointment would be unbearable if he endangered their plan just because some nobles couldn’t keep it in their pants. Their cause was greater than this and he was the Commander of the Inquisition after all, he wouldn’t bow to some royals behaving abysmal.

The worst disappointment of the evening so far had been that the Inquisitor had witnessed some of the harassing and didn’t do or say anything about it. She had seen mostly the flirting, Cullen supposed. He was pretty sure Herah would have stepped in if she had witnessed someone touching him without his consent. But she hadn’t seen the extent of their actions and probably thought he was the victim of some annoying courting and bickering. No harm in that.

She had given him an apologetic look - pitiful even - and suggested he should talk to Josephine about it or Leliana if he wanted one of them assassinated. Leliana‘s methods were unconventional at least but the thought of an arrow through that horrible woman’s face was lightening his mood. Or maybe Josie could spread a handful of filthy rumors and destroy some reputations.

If he only knew where Lady Montilyet or Leliana were lingering tonight or if these suitors would let him go to search for one of them.

They had zeroed in on him and he couldn’t find the smallest gap to slip through, he was literally glued to the spot. He was being held captive by - it was embarrassing - a flock of noble ladies and their petticoats and even some gentlemen who were at least a bit more discreet, probably because they didn’t want to ruin their reputations.

He was their prey, a piece of meat, and they were hungry wolves that hadn‘t been fed for months, so it seemed.

Cullen was gazing at Herah who would soon leave him here to die - he wished for the sweet release of death at this point - Sera now seemingly glued to her side, chuckling and grinning like an idiot. Nothing unusual about that.

Inquisitor Adaar was red-faced and he was pretty sure Sera had just said something really dirty to her. About an empty broom closet and peaches and breeches. It even rhymed awfully. That must have been Seras attempt at seduction if he wasn’t mistaken completely. Not that he, by any means, was better at creating romantic phrases or paying compliments if they weren’t about the weather. She was definitely more forward than he would ever be.

His thoughts must have jinxed it because in that exact moment Sera started to make loud smooching noises. Cullen wasn’t sure if she intended to mock him or if she wanted to encourage Inquisitor Adaar for whatever awaited her in that broom closet.

Both women left his side eventually, fleeing from strangers approaching them, mostly nobles that thought it would be advantageous to be seen with the Herald of Andraste. He could understand it to an extent. Herah had it hard enough already, most nobles at Halamshiral didn’t treat a Qunari kindly. She deserved to get away from all this for a while.

Cullen could only guess what Sera and Herah were up to after Sera’s remark. The thought made him blush. At least the Inquisitor was having fun while he was suffering. He would rather have all the side effects of his Lyrium withdrawal all at once instead of being touched by strangers without manners.

He longingly stared after them, seeing Sera’s blonde hair disappear in the crowd. He was on his own now.

Cullen wished he could pay an empty broom closet a visit as well until the event was over. Sweet solitude.

"Commander, that woman you‘re in a relationship with, does she really exist?“, another lady asked and he knew he would start to blush and stutter any second in search for an excuse or an inscrutable lie.

But for the first time this evening he was lucky. When he saw Dorian stumbling to the buffet, alone, unoccupied and an empty wine glass in hand he saw his chance.

“Dorian, sweetheart, I‘m here.“ He waved at the mage and really hoped Dorian was either drunk enough not to notice his weird behavior or quick enough to catch up on the situation Cullen was currently trapped in.

The Tevinter shot him a confused look but came closer nevertheless.

“Here he is, my date, the person I told you about, the man I’m in a relationship with.“, Cullen stuttered, pointing at Dorian who was clearly trying to make sense of the situation.

“Ah, my Commander, I thought I had lost you.“ Thank the Maker Dorian was playing along. He was undoubtedly a smart man.

“Cullen, you can’t be serious?“, one of the ladies screeched in his ear, a painful noise leaving it ringing for multiple seconds. Leliana‘s ravens could learn a lot from this woman‘s high-pitched exclamation.

“Isn’t this the evil Tevinter Magister everyone was gossiping about the whole night? I know he’s with the Inquisition but we were warned about him, everyone said he should be avoided at all costs. He‘s no suitable company for someone as handsome and heroic as you.“

Hearing the word Magister Dorian rolled his eyes but he didn’t comment on it. Cullen could feel him correcting the term to „Altus“ in his head, followed by "Southerners, can’t recognize the difference between a dog and a cat.“

“That is for me to decide.“, Cullen said. "I‘m glad, Commander, otherwise this relationship would be rather one-sided, wouldn’t it be?“ Dorian was offering Cullen his arm to desperately cling to which to his own shame Cullen did.

“Amatus, you promised me a dance. I couldn’t find you until now but I‘m here to take you up on it.“ “Of course, love.“ Cullen was clearing his throat and was trying to shoot Dorian what he thought was an affectionate gaze.

One of the ladies actually had the indecency to grasp after Dorian‘s arm and was trying to shove him away from Cullen.

“I really wouldn’t do this if I were you.“, the mage said, voice sharp. "There‘s a clear lack of blood magic tonight for my taste. You wouldn’t want to witness some, would you? A real taste of a Tevinter party. I could arrange that.“

Cullen was always surprised how eloquent Dorian was and how he always found a way out of the most horrible situations. Using his status as the evil Tevinter mage everyone was making him out to be was risky but it definitely seemed to work in this case.

The woman - and many others of his suitors - looked shocked and were hiding their disapproval with throwing their hands to their faces to cover their eyes. Like this childish gesture could make Dorian vanish and disappear from the spot if they pressed their eyes shut hard enough.

“Scandalous.“, two were whispering to each other. “What a waste. A man like the Commander..., I didn’t know he shared certain quirks with the empress.“ “I wouldn’t let her hear you.“, Dorian said. "Or should I tell her myself?“ "She wouldn’t believe you, you‘re from Tevinter." "You really wanna try me? I can be pretty persuasive.", Dorian asked, his words a warning.

The lady was silent for a moment before she bowed her head, slowly shaking it.

“Of course not, I apologize.“, the woman said, clearly not meaning it. She was faking a smile which distorted her face into an ugly grimace behind her mask.

“As if these quirks are the only problem here, the evil Magister has clearly enchanted him.“, one of the gentleman said.

“With my charms and wits maybe. Or my handsome face.“, Dorian said smugly. “All assets you people are visibly lacking. And now if you would be so kind to excuse us, the Commander owes me a dance.“ “That I do.“ Cullen would grant Dorian all the dances in the world for saving him.

With their arms locked they left the Ballroom in search of a quiet spot for Cullen to recover. They were in luck, one of the balconies was empty and even had some free benches to rest on.

“What just happened?“, Dorian asked. „Apart from the obvious, of course.“ “I apologize for using you as my escape plan, Dorian, I am deeply sorry.“ “No, no, it‘s fine. Their behavior, horrible that. Reminds me of home. I wouldn’t even wish this on my father or the Venatori. Maybe on Corypheus though. He wouldn’t be able to destroy the world. Those ladies would never let him go. They would tear him to pieces with their prying gazes. Oh, Corypheus, you owe me a dance." Dorian was spinning his empty wine glass in his hand while speaking.

"Oh, I didn’t even let you get a new drink.“, Cullen said, trying to apologize. Again. ”That was obviously why you came inside, wasn’t it? And now you left empty-handed." "I wouldn’t exactly call this empty-handed. I‘ve got quite a handful." Dorian gestured to their linked arms, an amused grin spreading on his lips.

"Well, I had enough to drink for the evening anyway. I’m feeling a bit tipsy already.“, Dorian started "But let’s not change the subject over something so unimportant as an empty glass of wine - as good as the Orlesian stuff might be. I‘m just gonna get the whole bottle later." Dorian placed his empty glass on one of the benches.

"So, Commander, do tell. Why me? Wasn’t there someone else the Commander of the Inquisition could have faked an romantic involvement with? I‘m pretty sure the Lady Seeker was around somewhere." "... Nevermind, when I think about it now, she would have probably chopped your head off for the idea alone. I was the safer bet, no head chopping here. Even though: you’re aware this is enough for a scandal? You won’t be able to save yourself from the rumors. The evil Tevinter Magister", Dorian mentioned the wrong title with his typical annoyance "... and a man on top of that. We will be the talk of the evening, not even an assassination attempt can change that. In my experience Orlesians are that close-minded."

Cullen hadn’t thought of that, clearly. He had just wanted to get away from these people as far and as quick as possible, not taking the consequences into consideration. He needed to make this right at some point but this wasn’t the time for it neither could he do something about it while being trapped in the Winter Palace. This was Josephine’s strength, not his.

Cullen felt guilty for making Dorian an even bigger victim of Orlesian gossip even though he himself didn’t care too much about their insults if they only kept their physical distance. But maybe Dorian felt different about this.

“I‘m not ashamed of being seen with you, Dorian.“ Cullen said after a long moment of silence. He actually meant it.

“Oh, Commander, you do surprise me.“, Dorian said, faint smile spreading on his face. “It‘s nice having some company after all. You could think I smell of cabbages with everyone trying to stay as far away from me as possible. I was already at my seventh glass of wine when you saw me heading inside. I needed to keep myself entertained somehow. I was feeling rather lonely and a bit drunk now as well to be fair.“ “I‘m still glad you‘re here, Dorian. Can I make it up to you somehow? As a little thank you for saving me. Maybe even with the dance I promised to you earlier. I have to warn you though I‘m a terrible dancer. But one who keeps his word.“ “Are you sure? Dancing with the evil Magister, in full view of every noble in Orlais. How shocking.“ “They‘ll live.“, Cullen said.

He was surprised by his own confidence regarding the gossip. But that was the point, wasn’t it? It was nothing like idle hearsay after all and it wouldn’t bear any real problem for any of them. Especially not if they would manage to save the empress at the end of night. Orlais would be in debt to the Inquisition and only positive word of their members would spread.

“You say that now. If you can find me ten silk scarves, I‘ve got a dance that will really shock them.“ “I-", Cullen started “don’t know what to say to that. I just hope you‘re a better dancer than I am. In dances that don’t involve silk scarves that is.“

A red color was spreading from his cheeks to his throat while he was trying to get that picture of Dorian doing some erotic Tevinter dance out of his head. Without much success, he had to admit. Who would even say a thing like that? Dorian Pavus obviously.

"Oh, I am indeed.“, Dorian said, he didn’t seem to notice how flustered the Commander was at his words. Which was great, Cullen thought. It left him with the last pieces of his dignity still intact.

"Picture me a boy of 15, being forced by his mother to dance with every suitable lady in the room. You learn some things even if you don’t want to. But you see, it‘s of use now. Mother certainly wouldn’t approve of it now, as you can imagine. But enough talk. Let‘s dance.“

Dorian was bowing and offering his hand to Cullen. Every lady would have been envious of the perfection and grace with which Dorian executed that gesture. If it wouldn’t have been the evil Tevinter asking for a dance of course and some noble gentleman instead.

Cullen was certainly blushing because of Dorian’s performance but he took the mages hand in his own anyway and was instantly pulled into Dorian‘s grip whose fingers were placed on Cullen’s waist immediately.

“Is this okay for you, Commander? If this is too much physical contact after what you‘ve just been through, I understand. We can postpone our little dance or leave it be if that‘s more to your liking.“ “I’m good. You decide, Dorian.“

The mage shook his head and made some “Tsk, tsk.“ noises but started with slow and practiced steps even Cullen could follow.

“Thank Godness one of us has a little initiative.“, Dorian chuckled.

Cullen didn’t know if the nobility was actually watching them from inside the Ballroom but he didn’t lie, he couldn’t care less about it. He owed Dorian that dance and it was most definitely more pleasant than being trapped by harassing strangers, noble or not. He actually quite enjoyed himself after the horror of the last hours. A moment of peace with someone he liked.

“After our beautiful dance I’m actually quite sad you‘re not interested in men at all. A shame, that.“ “Yes, a shame.“, Cullen agreed without even thinking about it.

•

Suddenly one of the bushes next to the railing of the balcony Dorian and Cullen were dancing on started to chuckle and when both men followed the noise with their gazes to uncover its origin, they looked straight into the amused faces of Sera and the Inquisitor. Both women were trying to hide behind its leafs while failing miserably. Sera‘s laughter wasn’t exactly subtle either.

“So much for an empty broom closet.“, Cullen stated. Sera was grinning at him. “No, this is so much better." The Inquisitor nodded. “And here I was thinking our dear Commander would be the knight in shining armor tonight. How wrong I was."

[a-world-in-grey]

So, my LC OC for Shadow of Heaven’s Light!! Because this is what my brain was doing instead of sleeping.

-LC is Noctis’ older sister, because a) there aren’t enough female LCs, and 2) FFXV is all about parallels and paired/opposite symbolism.

-So seven years before Noctis is born, Regis and Aulea aren’t quite as careful as they should be after Regis’ coronation. Cue a Royal Wedding three years earlier than canon so their whoops baby isn’t also an illegitimate baby. (Whoops! XD)

-Cor is godfather. Aulea hands him this little girl with fire-red hair and Cor just Melts. Goodbye, Gone, Sola Lucis Caelum has the Immortal wrapped around her fingers with a single yawn. His Kitten now. 

-Sola is either Sunshine or Trouble. There is no middle. When she’s not beaming smiles and pealing laughter or curled up on Cor’s chest for a midday cat nap in a convenient sun-patch, Sola is driving her poor nurses insane as she nyooms off and up the nearest piece of furniture. 

-Cor is Favorite. (Cor is Smug.) This isn’t really a Problem until Sola decides, age 5, that she doesn’t want to be Queen because being Queen is Boring and she wants to grow up to be like Uncle Cor. Regis and Aulea explain that Sola is Crown Princess - and only princess - and that means she has to be Queen when she grows up because there’s no one else who can do the job. 

-Cue Sola’s demand for a little sibling so THEY can be Crown Prince/ss.

-Regis Chokes.

-But Regis and Aulea decide that they do want another child. Sola is over the moon when Aulea announces that Sola will be a Big Sister around a year later.

-Sola is Down to be a Big Sister. She is so excited to have a little sibling, and the sheer awe on her face when she finally sees bby!Noctis after he’s born is beyond compare. Regis, Aulea, Clarus, and Cor watch fondly as Sola tells the little baby in Aulea’s arms that she is going to be the bestest sister ever and anyone messing with him is going to deal with her because Noctis is her little brother and she’s going to be his Sword like Uncle Cor is Papa’s.

-True to her word, Sola ‘abdicates’ in favor of Noctis a mere week after he’s born and Refuses to take it back. Noctis can have the crown, SHE wants the swords. The face Sola pulls when someone points out that Queens get the swords AND the crown makes it pretty clear how Sola fells about THAT. Besides, Sola can’t be her brother’s Sword if she’s Queen.

-However, Aulea never really recovers from Noctis’ birth, and two years later dies. Sola... changes. Sola devotes herself completely to Noctis, both as his big sister and as his Sword. When she’s not spending her time reading and playing with Noctis, she’s tearing through her studies and training with such single-minded ferocity that people begin to whisper of her being a Second Cor the Immortal.

-Regis worries at just how much Sola takes after her godfather. He remembers what Cor was like as a teenager, and it’s not like Cor has Stopped Pulling Stupid Shit in the years since. 

-Cor isn’t worried. After all, he’s the one training Sola and he’s going to ensure that anything that starts shit with Sola is Not Going To Live To Regret It. Because if Sola doesn’t finish it, HE WILL.

-(And then Cor does worry, because Sola declares in her ten year-old Righteous Fury that she’s going to fight Gilgamesh and chop off his other arm to avenge Uncle Cor and get his sword back.)

-(Cue heart attacks and ALL adults in earshot trying to dissuade Sola before it’s too late to change her mind. It’s too late to change her mind. Cor only just manages to get Sola to accept that she has to beat Cor FIRST before she can go off to fight Gilgamesh. Later, Cor, Clarus, and Regis share a bottle of liquor while Regis and Clarus tell Cor ‘WE TOLD YOU SO.’)

-Regis does NOT tell Sola about Noctis being the Chosen King. He is not stupid thank you very much. Twelve or not, Astrals or not, Sola Will Throw Hands for her brother, no hesitation.

-Sola isn’t there when Noctis is attacked by the Marilith. She furious, because her brother is in pain and she cannot do anything. She even more furious when Regis forbids her from going to Tenebrae with them and has Cor make sure Sola cannot sneak out after them.

-Sola joins the Kingsglaive two days after Regis and Noctis leave. (Let it not be said that Sola cannot be Petty)

-Well, she doesn’t join officially, not when the minimum age requirement is 16 and she’s only 15 yet. But the first real look the Kingsglaive get of the Princess is the redhead storming into their training halls, magic whipping about her in a physical manifestation of her fury, walking up to the Captain and demanding to join their training.

-Titus doesn’t so much as blink before he directs her towards the training course. (Sola tears through the Kingsglaive training with the same ferocity as everything else, pushing herself to complete the courses and then to master it.)

-Regis hates the idea of his daughter fighting on the front lines. But he knows Sola will not be deterred, and even if he were willing to take the challenge Sola’s blue eyes all but dare him to take and deny her enlistment, he can’t. 

-Because for the first time Sola is making friends. Friends that are hers first and not Noctis’. People she can be Sola with, rather than Noctis’ Sister/Sword or the Princess.

-They’ve even kindled an interest in magic in Sola. After Sola had deemed her odd golden magic, with such a leaning towards healing that Regis hasn’t heard of outside the Oracles, useless for being unable to heal her mother Regis didn’t think Sola would ever learn more than the basics. But now Sola is eagerly putting her head together with Ulric and Altius and coming up with more ways to make magic explode than actual spells, but Sola is using her magic.

-Libertus and Luche despair over getting another reckless idiot, a reckless idiot that is alSO THE PRINCESS WHAT DID THEY DO TO DESERVE THIS?! They have a hard enough time reigning in Nyx!

-That said, no one in Kingsglaive is going to refuse having Sola at their backs. The girl may only be five feet two inches, but it’s five feet two inches of solid muscle and she’s fast. Only person faster than her is Nyx and that’s because she doesn’t share his talent for warping. But she’ll come in swinging and hit whichever poor sod like a damn freight train with that spear of hers, throwing up shields so Crowe can cut loose with the fire and not catch the rest of them in the blast radius.

-Sola and Crowe are a match made in hell, and if Libertus didn’t know for a fact they were friends he’d be far more worried at how much Nyx and Sola bicker.

-Of course, Sola firmly cements herself as One of Them when she’s nineteen and at Yamachang’s place with the other off-duty glaives. An Insomnian tries to pick a fight with the ‘dirty foreigners’ and the glaives don’t get the chance to do more than bristle before Sola is out of her seat and kicking the asshole’s kneecap in, red hair falling out of its braid and blue eyes burning with murderous fury.

-And as Libertus keeps Sola from beating the idiot bloody, he realizes that he probably shouldn’t find that so hot.

Alright, that’s all for now.

tagging @secret-engima because she spawned this damn plunny.

[merrybandofmurderers]

hey so forgive me if you've already told me this, but yuo's a blood mage, right? what caused him to turn to blood magic? does he feel guilty about it, considering the stigma surrounding it, or does he say fuck all that jazz? and have there ever been lasting consequences to using blood magic? sorry if that's a lot, thank you ily :)

no no no, i LOVE answering questions!! yes, yuo is a blood mage (and also a battle mage, a pretty good combo imo, but also one that’s hard on his body). he doesn’t really use blood magic a lot, just when he really needs it (and obviously when he’s in the inquisition, he REALLY tries to be discreet, which being a battle mage covers up for).

there’s only a few ppl he openly uses blood magic around at first (solas, cuz he gleans it from their magic convos and won’t out him despite their contentious relationship; cole, cuz he reads yuo’s mind basically; bull, cuz he figures it out and doesn’t judge yuo for it).

SO. the backstory. yuo’s mom died when he was 19, just before he received his vallaslin, which has always weighed heavy on him. his dad died when he was.. 22? i think? (both of them die in skirmishes with humans, which is where his dislike of humans really started). the death of his mom he was able to handle somewhat cuz he had his dad and his sister.

when his dad died, his sister did not handle it well either, so yuo was a mess. at that time is also when he and his sister adopted three young elves who were orphaned. he was desperate for more power to protect his loved ones, so he asked his keeper (newly appointed and his sister’s best friend) for permission to learn blood magic. she was worried what he would do if she denied him, so at the next arlathvhen they found him a hahren to teach him ethical blood magic.

he never expected himself to turn to blood magic, becuz blood magic is not widely accepted among the dalish. but he accepted it becuz he figured it would help him (he ultimately comes to the conclusion that nothing he does can protect his loved ones, but he doesn’t stop using blood magic becuz it does make him stronger.)

around his clan he didnt need to hide it. they understood his grief and trusted him. he only really learned the necessity of discretion when he fell in love with a human apostate and trusted him to teach him blood magic and then was betrayed by him (which is the root of his trust issues).

this didn’t stop him from using blood magic, but he realized how careful he needed to be, and the lasting consequence from that was his trust issues which has definitely impacted him negatively. aside from that, as i said, his combined specs are hard on his body, which have left him with recurring pain as well as needing to treat his scars regularly.

(EDIT: okay so i tried to put a cut here to make it not so long, but apparantly tumblr does not like them anymore so i had to remove it to save the formatting :/ thanks tumblr

EDIT TWO: apparantly removing the cut did NOT save the formatting it just put the cut at the beginning :))))

i talked a bit about about the effects of his specializations here, and i talked about his blood magic and grief allowing him to relate to alexius here.

dorian, sera, and blackwall find out about his blood magic during the reclaiming of suledin keep. they agree to keep his secret but it’s a rough process of acceptance for all of them, especially dorian.

these are some excerpts of the confrontations dorian and yuo have about yuo lying about his blood magic

“Have you ever used blood magic on me?”

Dorian hates himself for asking. He hates himself because he knows the answer will be no, it must be. He asks anyway.

Lavellan stays quiet so long, Dorian starts to hate him more than he hates himself. Dread and genuine fear coil in his gut.

“Once. Only once. In Coracavus, when that darkspawn hit you. Dorian, I was afraid you were going to get the Blight. I couldn’t—” He stops, breathes. “That was the only time. Just, to stop the bleeding, keep it clean. Nothing more than I do for myself.”

*

“I don’t understand why you think you need it. You’re powerful enough already—”

“No, I’m not, Dorian. Don’t you understand? I’m not powerful enough—I’ll never be powerful enough. And I have to remember that, I have to remember… nothing will ever be enough. I have to hold onto that every time some fucking demon thinks it can use me by promising to give me what I want. When a demon promises to give me back my parents, to protect my sister, my clan, to save everyone I care about, to keep everything I have—I need to remember that it’s not enough. I have to accept that. Because if I believe—if I hope—for even a moment that there might be some power capable of that—of restoring what’s lost, preserving what I have—I won’t be able to fight them. I have to know it, that no power will ever be enough; I’ll never be enough.”

and here is when yuo ultimately tells dorian the story behind his using blood magic

Dorian sat next to him on the battlements. “Who was it? That you were wrong about?”

Lavellan was silent for a long moment, then, “His name was Rory. He was an apostate.”

“A human.”

“Yes, human. He wasn’t the first I’d been with, though. He wasn’t special… in that way. That wasn’t… a red flag for me. Then. It’s—” He sighed.

“Let me start from the beginning. My mother died when I was nineteen, just before I received my vallaslin, my father when I was twenty-two. My mother’s death, I managed well enough. But when my father died… Anavi didn’t know how to deal with it either. She… closed off. And it was hard to be around her because she reminded me so much of them. She looked just like him but acted just like our mother. It was a mess, we both were, but especially me. I didn’t have anything to—to tether me. I was so desperate. Every night I had these horrific dreams of losing her.

“What I wanted was power. That’s what everyone wants when it comes to blood magic, isn’t it? The power? To protect my sister, my remaining family, my clan, I decided I needed more power. But I was going to do it right. So, I went to our Keeper and asked permission to learn blood magic. Our Keeper by that time was my sister’s closest friend and knew me well. She knew I wouldn’t disobey her if she forbade it, but I needed something to hold on to, and if she didn’t give this to me, she was afraid of what could happen to me. What I would do.

“That year, there was an Arlathvhen. My Keeper found a hahren for me to learn blood magic from. I told you it is not widely accepted amongst the Dalish, but it does happen. So, I lived with this hahren’s clan for a time to learn from them. It got me some space from my sister, from the grief. And they gave me the instruction I needed. The power I wanted, but still drawn from our beliefs. It would have been so easy for me to get twisted, but my hahren guided me, showed me what to do. They reminded me what my magic was for, kept my head on straight. A few years later, I returned to my clan—sooner than I meant to, sooner than perhaps I should have, but another of the clan had died; I needed to be with them, so I went.

“That winter we settled near a village, and that’s where I met Rory.”

Lavellan was silent for a long time, staring into nothing. Dorian sat quietly, watching his somber profile.

“Rory wasn’t special,” he finally continued, “he wasn’t different. He was easy to fall in love with, and I did, and more than that, I trusted him. I didn’t hide my blood magic from him, and he asked me to teach him. I’d already been showing him some magic; he hadn’t really had anyone to learn from. I never thought his questions or intentions were strange or sinister. To me, blood magic was just magic you had to be a little more careful with. So, I taught him.

“Well, the Templars caught him. I don’t know what he did, I don’t know if he actually used blood magic—or any magic—in front of them, if they just suspected, or what. I don’t know if he hurt someone, I just know that they found him, and the reason I know that is because he sold me out to them.”

He sneered. “He told them I had seduced him, bewitched him, used my magic on him, whatever. I’d tricked him into it, coerced him, forced him to use blood magic. All the words that meant he couldn’t be culpable. My clan had been there for several months, and our welcome was already wearing thin. I don’t know if he mentioned them specifically or if it was just me, but the Templars, of course, wouldn’t be taking chances.

“No one died, no one was hurt, but we had to leave, unprepared. And I don’t know what happened to him. All I know is that I loved someone and trusted them, and it turned out I was wrong, and because of that everything I ever cared about protecting almost…”

His hands clasped together, white knuckled. “So, this time the stakes are a lot fucking higher, aren’t they? I’m not going to compare the two of you, because there isn’t any comparison to be had. I was younger then, and eager to be in love with him, and I fought for so long to not feel for you the way I do, but still I love you more than I thought I’d ever love anyone, and once you earned it, my trust in you has never wavered—and that’s why I won’t hate you if you decide you can’t accept this, or—or forgive me, or move on, because you deserved to know and I didn’t tell you.

“Creators, Dorian, if it were just me, I wouldn’t have thought for a second about it. But in this position, it’s not just me—it never was, but he really fucking drove that home for me. My people will always come first, because no matter what, they’re a part of me. I will never be just me; I will always be Dalish. My people will always be there, and I will always have to care about them. However much more love and trust I had for you, the fear was even greater, and I couldn’t—Dorian, I almost lost them, and it was my fault because I was wrong about someone I loved, and I couldn’t take that risk again, I couldn’t. And that’s all I can say for myself, is that I was afraid.”

(please forgive any typos, these are first drafts u.u)

[jahaliel]

this is originally from lightveils on twitter and i saw someone reblog it on my dash (I think it was the talented @elfpen ) Here we go - all of these fics are well-tagged so please take care when looking them up.  As it is this has taken me most of the day so I’ve not listed the tags. Under a cut because this is gonna be LONG

A fic you love without knowing the source material: I’ve never seen Full Metal Alchemist or read it but Satellite by SpicyReyes is Fantastic and I am a SUCKER for time-travel fics done well and this is top tier.  Also nice and lengthy, WIP. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work, but it does. Maestoso by novalotypo - I did not expect the Elric brothers becoming virtuoso violinists and somehow still setting everything to rights but boy did I enjoy it A fic you’ve read several times: There’s a lot of these XD but I’m going to go with The Life and Times of Hatake Kakashi, long suffering jounin sensei by FeelingsDusk because it’s hilarious and a really well written Naruto time-travel fic that balances perfectly the level of detail with the story beats. A fic you remember years later: The incredible letter-writing fic series Logolepsy by Vehlr and WeatheredLaw it was the first fic that broke my heart, one of the first fics I wrote fanpoetry for and is just perfection.  Dragon Age Inquisition post-game Cassandra/Varric A comfort fic: Once again I’m going to pick a series - the incredible Demon and Angel Professor series by Ghostinthehouse.  A Good Omens AU with every piece of the series being 666 words long telling the story of Dr Fell (Literature Professor, everyone loves him) and Dr Crowley (Botany Professor, everyone’s scared of him) and their students. A cathartic fic: I’m going to cheat and rec my own fic because there’s nothing quite as cathartic for me as for expressing all my feelings onto an OC.  In Lightning’s Wake, Victory.  My OC is Nemo d’Vidas and in this fic she travels to the world of Sekiro and gets to change the story. A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: Well that’d have to be Swung by Serafim by flamethrower becuase I have in fact printed it and put it on my bookshelf...  Harry Potter re-telling with a what-if Harry was Obliviated at the end of book 2 and the proper novel-in-its-self length Epilogue we all deserved.  Please note: NOT A SNARRY FIC. A fic you associated with a song: Ah this is has to be Wait What? by seeing_blue, a DA:I fic with an incredible OC whom I adore.  The song that I associate it with is Centuries by Fall Out Boy. Solas/OC A fic that inspires you: Okay so I think this one has to be Re-Entry by flamethrower and no I will not be ashamed of reccing multiple fics by one author.  Star Wars, Time-Travel Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan an epic piece.  I figure a fic that inspired me to make a whole side-blog dedicated to fanpoetry for it probably fills this square pretty well. A fic that brought you on board a new ship: Basically all of Norcumi’s magical Rex/Obi-Wan fics.  I enjoy all of them so here’s Second Chances, a post 66 finding each other again. A fic you wish could be a movie: Sekiro: We Can Never Die by mintyworks - Honestly Sekiro is half-way to being a movie in and of itself, it’s beautiful and mintyworks takes an understated relationship and brings life to it; it’s just gorgeous. A fic that led you to making friends with the author: In an Ancient Elvhen World by Mayaiai; her OC Reese has made a few guest appearances in my work and she’s a great friend and a wonderful person.  (She also has her own original published fiction on amazon) Free Space: Reprise by Elfpen (Star Wars, time-travel brilliant and beautifully written series, still on-going really wonderful characters) and Absconding with Harry by obaewankenope an incredible HP/GO crossover featuring everyone’s favourite Snake Demon adopting a local kid who can speak to him when he’s a snake form.  This leads to a new teacher and librarian starting at Hogwarts. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL: And the Brave Man with A Sword by blackkat - Harry Potter time-travel Founders fic; I raved about this to an IRL friend who is also a massive HP fan. A fic you associate with a place: To Intervene by apathyinreverie - an MCU fic that just hits all my buttons and every time I read it I’m transported to the UN watching Tony Stark politic.  It makes me think about the times I got to sit and watch our Parliament sit as well. A fic that made you gasp out loud: Til Kingdom Come by Heronfem - an interesting twist on the DA:I story.  Begins before DA:I and has just some really gorgeous charactersations and incredible moments.  Mind the warnings. A fic you found at the right time: This would be blink (reality shivers) by SparkleMoose - honestly his fic is just everything and I have constantly read the AUs and reveals etc of this fic at 2am when I can’t sleep because it helps me - Ace is a dear boy and deserves all the good things.  FFXV OC-centric with the most excellent Ardyn characterisation A fic that you read fic of:

Looking Glass by Feynite - this is a time-travel post DA:I fic that spawned all sorts of incredible AUs made me laugh, made me cry has so many talented authors and artists doing all sorts of things.  Beautiful OCs, an incredible world

A fic that made you laugh out loud:

What the Frap? by DarthLivion which is a coffee shop AU for Awaken the Stars and is just magnificent and I love it to pieces. I just adore the characterisation and there are so many heart-warming moments as well as the laughing out loud ones.

A fic with a line or two you’ve memorised by heart: “ I survived everything the galaxy could throw at Qui-Gon Jinn, in another life ” “You are a sock drawer thrown in a trash compactor” Both quotes from the incredible The Desert Storm series by Blue_Sunshine ongoing WIP time-travel Star Wars series.  (I have a thing for TT-SW stories I think this makes the third on this list XD) A fic that gave you butterflies:

One of my favourite collaborations - and honestly I was so incredible honoured to have my poetry included in this piece.  Survivors by ShaeTiann, norcumi and myself  like ShaeTiann and Norcumi are both SO AMAZINGLY TALENTED and their fics just MAKE YOU FEEL ALL THE EMOTION.  Besides I’m a sucker for post-66 stories.

A fic that embodies something you value in life: Baba by CrownofPins - a gorgeous Castlevania fic that embodies hope, that shows you cannot always walk alone and that love accepts, love makes room.  It’s really well done and my OT3 besides. A favourite AU: Disconnected series by Katzdecimal, Good Omens AU; a really interesting take on falling, on surviving, on life after the Almost-Apocalypse.  Beautifully written and a go-to fic. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: Backslide by blackkat  Naruto time-travel fic that got me suckered into the fandom despite not knowing anything about it.  Finished it in one sitting after starting it at about 10pm - went to sleep at 3.30am exhausted but happy. A fic that made you feel seen: The Balance series by Norcumi and Dogmatix.  There aren’t really words for how I feel about this series but to me it’s about finding a way forward that isn’t what everyone expects; that isn’t the path laid out for you but is the road you’re walking.  It’s about dealing with emotion especially anger.  Star Wars AU which takes off with a Sith!Qui-Gon, who Fell when Maul killed his Padawan on Naboo and then diverges wildly.

[cedarmoons]

reversed nadia & tragic heroism

aka, stop dismissing complex female characters as bitches you heathens

to preface this meta: i’ve included screenshots where i can, but as tumblr only allows 10 images, i’ll also include transcripts of scenes i want to discuss. screenshots have been cropped to only include the text, and should be read from left to right. i have left out some filler text, and “blank” boxes are only meant to keep the image even. all mentions of “Nadia,” unless otherwise stated, refers to Nadia in her Reversed route.

tldr: Nadia is Textbook Tragic Hero, it wasn’t animal abuse, Nadia did not sell MC to Satan for one corn chip, and it certainly wasn’t “bad writing.”

Long ass character meta under the cut! obviously contains spoilers for Book XX, Judgement - Reversed.

So. I originally had no intention of playing any of the reversed routes, but there were some claims about Nadia (i.e., she abused Mercedes & Melchior, she killed Lucio in cold blood, and she sold out MC for her own power) that made me think HMST and play it myself. Unsurprisingly, every single one of the above takes does not provide any greater context whatever.

I changed four (4) things to get Nadia’s reversed route: I never encouraged her to talk to her sisters or ask them for help; I told her to send Portia away; I did not allow the Flooded District partygoer to talk to her in Temperance; I told her to kill Lucio in The Devil.

And playing Nadia’s route seemed incredibly familiar to me, though it took a little while for me to realize why: Nadia, in her reversed route, is the textbook Tragic Hero. The Tragic Hero has a “fatal flaw,” which leads them to commit catastrophic errors in judgement, which leads to their allies, family, and friends abandoning them and their own isolation, which leads to the Tragic Hero realizing (too late) the gravity of their own errors.

I can’t believe I’m busting out my degree for a mobile game because some people like to twist things, but here we are. Someone has to go to bat for Nadia when the narrative surrounding her the past 48 hours has been doing her so dirty.

Part 1: The Lucio Problem

Now, let’s get straight to the first bout of character analysis: Lucio’s death. Nadia does not, in fact, cut Lucio down in cold blood. Lucio actually gets her to stop, and she allows him to explain why he should be allowed to live, which essentially is “because then I can help you overthrow the Devil.” The following is a transcript of their conversation, starting with Lucio explaining how he was supposed to be the Devil (instead of the ghost goat form we see in early-to-midgame), up to and including his death:

LUCIO: “It should have worked too! It was supposed to work! It wasn’t my fault. The Devil played dirty, he cheated me out of my chance to win! But together, we can defeat him. We can do it right this time!”

Nadia stares at him for a very long time, then throws her head back and laughs.

NADIA: “Yes, because you’ve been so trustworthy in the past.”

NADIA: “You would become the Devil and spread your treachery further than even Vesuvia. You would do the same thing he is attempting. You would cause death and destruction. Neither of you deserve the title. If you want something done right... do it yourself.”

LUCIO: “I won’t lose here! I don’t lose!”

Lucio lurches forward, anger flashing in his eyes. He reaches forward with a gold-gauntleted glove - And stops, as blood gurgles up from his mouth, trailing down his chin. Nadia’s blade is plunged deep in the center of his chest, the blade finally finding its mark.

LUCIO: “...”

She pulls the sword out and he crumples, his last words lost.

It should be noted Lucio’s sprite isn’t bloodied during his “...” dialogue. It’s interesting that no one mentioned Lucio lunged for Nadia first, isn’t it? Of course, one can always say he sensed his incoming death, and only attacked in self-defense: this is a reasonable and valid argument. But he unquestionably moved first, and Nadia also killed him in self defense: hardly the cold-blooded murder I had expected going in. 

It is not Lucio’s death itself that struck me in the writing, but the aftermath. After he is dead, MC can respond with either “Why did you do that?!” or “He had it coming.” I chose the former, and the following is the transcript:

MC: “Why’d you do that?!”

My head is still spinning. Nadia just killed someone in front of me... and she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all.

NADIA: “We knew it would come to this, MC. I couldn’t risk him causing more chaos and destruction. He would have always remained a threat.”

She pauses, reaching out slowly toward me.

NADIA: “You understand, don’t you?”

I’m interpreting MC’s “Why’d you do that?!” as a horrified growing realization of how far Nadia has fallen. They were the primary influence over the course of 20 books in shaping Nadia this way, but the way Nadia kills Lucio really cements her fall from grace for them. And Nadia, when she “reach[es] out slowly” toward MC, seems to know that MC has realized this. She says “You understand, don’t you?” — words that can easily be considered a plea.

You understand why I did what I did, don’t you? You understand I had no choice, don’t you? You understand there was no other way, don’t you? You understand I am not a monster, don’t you? You understand I do not want to lose you, don’t you?

I take a deep breath, still staring at where Lucio’s body was, then nod slowly. Nadia lets out a soft sigh of relief, and strokes my cheek affectionately.

NADIA: “Good. I couldn’t handle you turning from me, MC. It had to be done. I had no choice.”

Nadia already considers herself alone against the world. The MC is the closest thing she has to an ally; the MC is the closest thing she has to a confidant(e). Yet her anxieties and trust issues keep her from truly allowing MC to be as close as they are in her Upright route. This is seen as early as Book 9, when in the carriage ride (and immediately after discovering Portia’s betrayal), she wonders if MC will betray her, too, and whether she is destined to stand alone in the world. 

Over the course of the 11 books from Book 9 to Book 20, she has come to realize that if she loses MC, she is truly, truly alone in the world. Thus, her hesitation (“slowly”) to reach for MC. Thus, her blatant relief in MC staying with her. Thus, her admission that she would be unable to handle MC turning away from her.

Part 2: Becoming the Devil

In any heroic story, the hero must achieve a seemingly impossible feat: saving the world; defeating the unstoppable Big Bad; et cetera. Tragic heroes also seek to achieve impossible feats, but their “feats” straddle the line between good and evil, or their reasons — why they want to achieve the impossible heroic feat — are not grounded in conventional morality. Tragic heroes attempt to achieve their impossible feats, but their efforts, whether successful or not, always have catastrophic consequences.

Hamlet’s impossible feat is to avenge his father: his efforts to do so result in the deaths of his (debatable) love interest, his mother, his step-father, his friends, and himself. 

Solas in Dragon Age: Inquisition’s impossible feat was to stop the Evanuris: his efforts to do so created the Veil, stripping elves of their immortality and power, leaving them open to exploitation, enslavement, and death (and opening the way for him to undertake a second impossible feat: destroying the Veil to restore the elven people’s power). 

Clarke Griffin in the TV show The 100 had the impossible feat of saving her people from having their bone marrow harvested by Mount Weather: her efforts to do so saved her people, but killed hundreds of innocent people who had nothing to do with the cruelties inflicted on Clarke’s friends; gave her and another major character PTSD; and led to Clarke’s self-imposed exile from her people.

Nadia’s impossible feat is to defeat the Devil Arcana. 

Where in her Upright route she believes MC is powerful enough to bind the Devil’s powers, essentially limiting him to his own realm, in her Reversed route she does not believe this: she thinks it is too risky to MC’s safety, and she is unwilling to lose MC after they “nearly died binding Vlastomil.” Instead, she will replace the Devil Arcana herself, as it is the only way to guarantee that the Devil’s threat would end. 

VALERIUS: “It’s a terrible idea [to replace the Devil Arcana]. You want to be trapped here, forever?”

NADIA: “I see no other option. The Devil cannot be allowed to continue his machinations.”

THE HIEROPHANT: “Interesting. I hold no love for the current Devil. He oversteps his bounds. ... Yes. I believe you’d make a lovely Arcana. At the very least, you’d mind your own business.”

The Hierophant tarot is all about tradition, convention, authority, “staying within your own bounds.” The Devil’s attempt to escape his realm and merge the magical and mortal realms certainly disrupts the accepted status quo. If Nadia replaces the Devil, then the status quo is maintained (“at the very least, you’d mind your own business”). Of course the Hierophant is going to encourage her to do this.

VALERIUS: “And give up your own humanity in exchange! I’ve been there, Countess, it’s no way to live.”

Nadia shakes her head, looking out the window to the vineyard beyond.

Nadia looking out the window the vineyard beyond is not only a description but symbolic of her own reasoning. Her attention is diverted by looking out the window, so she is not fully attentive to what Valerius is saying. She is unwilling to look at, and thus give attention to, those who disagree with her; she has turned her face away from reason and disagreement.

NADIA: “What choice do I have, really?”

MC: “There’s always a choice!”

NADIA: “Not this time, MC. You’ve been with me through it all... but this last thing I must do alone. I won’t risk you.”

MC then has the choice to say “I’m with you” or say “I won’t risk YOU!” here. I chose the latter option for thematic relevance: MC is panicking, now, fully understanding what Nadia intends to do — and fully understanding that they might lose Nadia forever. They are trying to undo the damage they have done in the earlier parts of the route, but it is too late. Nadia’s heart has hardened.

MC: “I won’t risk YOU!”

NADIA: “MC... That’s my duty. As Countess of Vesuvia, as Princess of Prakra... as your lover. I will do what no one else can. I will drag this world, kicking, screaming, and ungrateful, to safety.”

Again, Nadia is the only one who can do this. She will drag this world “kicking, screaming, and ungrateful, to safety” — she knows she will not be thanked, or praised, but it is necessary. It is for their own good. Nadia knows best, and Nadia can only trust herself to get things done. 

MC: “We’re in this together, Nadia. I’m coming with you.”

NADIA: “You cannot follow me into the darkness, MC.”

(It should be noted that Kevin MacLeod’s “Wounded” is playing during this. This is the tragic piano that is also heard in Asra’s route on the Lazaret. I mention this because the tragic piano always fucks me up emotionally, so y’all have to suffer too.)

Nadia’s line — “You cannot follow me into the darkness” — is typical of a Tragic Hero who wishes to protect others, especially their love interest. Using my prior two examples from Dragon Age: Inquisition and The 100:

When a Lavellan Inquisitor who romanced Solas tells him, “let me help you, Solas,” Solas says: “I cannot do that to you, vhenan.” 

When Bellamy Blake asks Clarke to stay at her home, instead of impose self-exile, Clarke says: “I bear it so they [her people] don’t have to.”

The point of these kinds of statements is this: This terrible undertaking is my responsibility alone; only I can accomplish this impossible feat; I do not want you to be hurt; I would rather something happen to me than you.

But where the Tragic Hero usually succeeds in isolating themself from their love interest, MC inverts this aspect of the archetype: they convince Nadia to let them accompany her to the Devil’s realm. If MC had told Nadia in earlier books, “I’d follow you anywhere,” this is truly an echo of that sentiment: MC is willing to go to Hell for Nadia Satrinava. 

THE HIEROPHANT: “If you go down this path, you cannot hesitate. If you lose your nerve, he will come back. If you waver, he will see it. If you do this, you need to mean it.”

NADIA: “To keep the world safe. To keep MC safe... I’ll do anything. I won’t lose.”

It’s important to state Nadia does not want to become the Devil on her own merits. It’s not a power grab (at least, not consciously). She realizes it is dangerous. She genuinely sees no other option to end the Devil’s threat, and thus save the world, that does not risk harm to MC. As stated before, MC is the closest thing Nadia has to an ally: it makes sense she is unwilling to consider any options that have even the slightest chance of her losing MC. It makes sense that she is willing to do “anything” to keep MC safe.

She is constantly stating there is “no other choice,” even though the other characters (Valerius and the High Priestess) offer alternatives, namely binding the Devil in his own realm (what happens in the Upright end). It is not that she is not hearing these alternatives, or unwilling to listen to reason: it is that they are unacceptable to her, by virtue of the danger posed to MC. It is that [Solas voice] every alternative was worse. It is that [Solas voice] terrible choices are all that remain. If you have to kill Stranger A to save 100,000 lives, and someone offers Stranger B to kill instead of Stranger A, it is an unacceptable alternative.

An essential aspect of the Tragic Hero is colossal mistakes in judgement. In Nadia’s case, this would obviously be her decision to replace the Devil’s Arcana. But this has been reinforced to her over the course of 20 books through critical decisions made earlier in her route:

Not talking to Nadia’s sisters, which accomplishes two things: 1) reinforces to Nadia that you are on her side; 2) reinforces to Nadia that she is right to maintain her grudge against her sisters. Her first instinct is to resent her sisters. There is no challenge to Nadia to change her mind, or move past old hurts. She remains static, stubborn, and seeking to prove herself - not only to her sisters, but to herself.

Encouraging Nadia to cast out Portia, which reinforces to Nadia that she cannot trust, confide in, or believe others: she will always be betrayed. Nadia’s first instinct is to send Portia away. Agreeing with her reinforces that she is right to distrust everyone, and only believe in her own competence and ability. She remains static and closed off from others.

Encouraging Nadia to kill Lucio. Nadia’s first instinct is to kill him, as she sees “no other way”. MC agreeing with her reinforces to her that her decisions are best, and that sometimes there are no other choices, or at least [Solas voice] terrible choices are all that remain. She remains static and unchallenged in her viewpoint(s).

Part 2.1: Trusting Nadia

Nadia’s “betrayal” is framed as random, coming out of nowhere, and only for her own power. I was suspicious of this framing from the moment I saw it, because characters like Reversed Nadia — straddling the line between good and evil, isolated, pursuing their impossible feat — tend to place high priority on the people they love, to the point of over-protectiveness, obsession, and/or obsessive devotion. An excellent example would be Victor Fries/Dr. Freeze in the Batman comics, who is willing to commit evil acts in pursuance of his impossible feat to save his wife.

I never doubted Nadia’s love for MC, even in the reversed route. As stated before, Nadia thinks that MC is not like the others in her life, who are incompetent fools, or simpering power-seekers, or her detested sisters. They are unique. They are special. While she may not be able to trust them fully (again! everyone can betray her! she is the only one she can trust!), she certainly loves them for what they mean to her.

Working under the assumption that Nadia truly loves MC, then, following the precedents of other tragic characters who came before her, she would be utterly unwilling to allow any harm to come to MC. This would extend to her allegedly offering MC to the Devil without any remorse. I was more inclined to believe (even before I played the Reversed route) that it was some ruse of Nadia’s to trick the Devil.

And so imagine my surprise when Nadia and MC left the Hierophant’s realm to go to Nadia’s gate, and the book provided the following scene: 

NADIA: “I have a plan, MC. Lucio failed to defeat the Devil. But that does not mean it cannot be done. Unfortunately... I cannot risk telling you. I need your reaction to be genuine. Will you be loyal to me, MC? Will you trust I want what’s best for you?”

MC: “Yes.”

NADIA: “Good. Everything that happens is for you, do you understand? Promise me you’ll remember I’ll always keep you safe.”

Boy, it would’ve been nice if someone mentioned this when discussing Nadia selling out MC!

This is such obvious foreshadowing of Nadia playing the long con it’s painful. She cannot tell MC her plan about how to deal with the Devil, because she needs MC’s reaction to be genuine; she needs MC to be surprised. If the Devil realizes he is being played, everything is over, and her efforts will have been for nothing.

For Nadia, the stakes are high. She either:

Tells her lover what her plan is, i.e. to use MC as a bargaining chip, which could have backfire in multiple ways: MC could be uncooperative, or MC could play their part unconvincingly to the Devil, and tip him off. She might stay with MC, but risk the world.

Or, she withholds it from MC, so that their surprise and shock (and, yes, feelings of betrayal) are genuine, and thus more convincing to the Devil. She loses MC, but saves the world. 

Her decision is pragmatic: she will sacrifice MC, even if it means she loses MC’s love, for the greater good (saving the world). She understands that the healer has the bloodiest hands. She is accepting the blood to make things better. By choosing the second option, she is choosing to trust herself and her plan instead of trusting MC to pull off a successful deception. (In a similar vein: remember how much she enjoyed deceiving Valerius in Book 6, The Lovers.)

Still, she does not want to sacrifice MC, but sees no other way. It is painful, but for the greater good. Thus why she emphasizes why Her Decision Is Best, and In MC’s Best Interest: “Everything that happens is for you, do you understand? Promise me you’ll remember I’ll always keep you safe.”

You may be hurt, but it is for the greater good, don’t you understand? Don’t you trust me to do the right thing? Don’t you see that I have your best interests in mind? Don’t you see that you can trust me? That you should trust me?

She even goes so far as to test MC when MC promises her that they will know she’ll always keep MC safe. I call it a test, because that is what it undoubtedly is: she holds MC’s throat, and asks, “Even now?”

This is a lead-in for a premium scene, but it goes deeper than that. Implicitly, she is saying: Even when I have you so vulnerable, even with my hand around your throat, do you trust that I will keep you safe? Can I let myself believe you when you tell me that yes, you do trust me; that yes, you know I have your best interests at heart?

MC has the option of proving it to her (premium choice), or simply saying “yes”. I chose the latter. It is simple, and honest, and depending on people’s MCs, undoubtedly true. MC is willing to go to Hell at Nadia’s side; this is a minor thing, by comparison.

MC makes the interesting observation that Nadia looks at them “like a pet.” Sure, it could be a reference to Nadia’s obvious petplay kink, but I think it’s indicative of their deeper relationship: Nadia may love MC, but she does not consider them her true partner as she does in her Upright route. Again, she can only trust herself, no matter how important MC is to her, because MC, too, might end up disappointing her. They are lovers, and they are partners, but Nadia and MC are not equals (unlike in Upright). Nadia sees MC like a pet (to cherish, love, and care for, but not treat as equal) and I fully expect she will continue to do so in the next update.

Whether or not Nadia is aware that this isn’t the healthiest way to love someone is up in the air, but I’m inclined to believe that she is not aware, and she is demonstrating her love in the best way she knows how: protecting MC (which leads to making MC’s decisions for them), providing for them (which extends into petplay and spoiling), and praising them (you are special, you are unique, you are not like everyone else in my life, who disappoints me). 

Later, approaching the Devil’s realm, she reminds MC of the conversation they had in her gate:

MC: “You have a plan. One you can’t tell me about.”

NADIA: “Yes. And I need you to trust me for it to work. Do you still trust me?”

MC: “I do.”

NADIA: “Good. Remember that when we’re in there.” 

NADIA: “... I love you.”

(Edit March 22: Nadia’s sprite during her “I love you” line is her embarrassed/uncertain face. A subtle signal that she, too, has doubts, even if she’s trying to hide them.)

The whole point of the cliffhanger was to shock people, but I think that people who are saying that Nadia sold MC out for her own power are misguided. Nadia spent the entire book talking about how she had no choice but to do this and foreshadowing that she was going to do something that would be unpleasant but necessary. To say that Nadia sold MC to the Devil for her own power is to completely ignore everything that’s been set up throughout the book.

Also, if you still don’t trust her / consider her a bitch after I’ve gone through this whole section talking about how Reversed Nadia is a character type that would never let someone important to her (i.e., MC) come to harm (though she may use them for her own gains) and that it’s 99% likely she has no intention of actually following through on this “deal”... that says more about you than it does Nadia.

Part 2.2: The Dogs

The way the dogs were framed made me think that Nadia was straight up cruel to them. I thought the dogs were physically there, and Nadia was actually abusive to them (though I was inclined to believe it was neglect, not abuse. again, quibbling). 

Considering Nadia’s treatment of the cheetah, and even the vampire leeches, I should not have taken these accounts at face value, because they are flat-out misleading (at best!).

For context, Nadia and MC have left Nadia’s Gate to go to the Devil’s realm. The Hierophant has just warned them of a perilous journey. They leave the Hierophant’s realm, go to Nadia’s Gate where they have the discussion about trust, and then enter the frozen forest background. What happens is the following:

MC: “Where are we?”

NADIA: “There are many roads connecting the realms. Lost paths in the dark. The forest is an illusion. It is likely our minds cannot comprehend the true shape of these spaces. Instead, the world changes into metaphors we can understand. But you must remember they are only metaphors, MC. Keep your wits about you.”

We continue walking, wary of every strange noise that flickers off the narrow path we follow. Every step we take causes more fog to swirl from the ground, until we can barely see in front of us once more. I hear a snarl behind us, close enough that I can feel the breath. Without thinking, I turn around to face it —

Two figures emerge from the fog, their mouths dripping red. Mercedes and Melchior. Everywhere the blood from their mouths drips onto the ground, a cluster of flowers sprout. When I look closer, I realize... they’re all poisonous.

NADIA: “They must have gone mad with Lucio’s death.”

She tugs me closer behind her, but the dogs don’t try to approach. They just haunt our steps like specters, snarling and howling.

(Edit March 22: I just realized Nadia tugs MC closer behind her after seeing the dogs. She’s putting herself between MC and perceived danger, i.e. the dogs, further reinforcing her fear of losing MC and determination to protect them against anything. But sure, she doesn’t care about MC at all and is only using them for her own power.)

None of the posts I saw discussing Nadia’s treatment of the dogs ever mentioned that this happens in the magical realms, or that Nadia and MC discuss the forest’s visions being metaphorical immediately before the dogs’ appearance. Which is a shame, because it completely removes any context of the scene and does the double whammy of demonizing Nadia. 

I guess it’s easier and faster to type out “Nadia abused Mercedes and Melchior!” over “The magical forest in the Arcana realms manifested a bloody Mercedes and Melchior [whose sprites are their pomegranate juice sprites with a little bit of blood added] as a metaphor for the line that Nadia has crossed, i.e. killing Lucio, and the possible guilt that she is either not feeling at all or is feeling and is simply pushing away so she will not have to acknowledge it.” 

But the dogs’ mere presence — they follow always at a distance, like ghosts — is enough to force her to recognize it. She remarks that they must have gone mad, and moves on. She has come too far now to doubt herself. If she looks back, if she doubts herself, she is lost, and everything will have been for naught.

Part 2.3: The High Priestess

Leaving the icy forest, Nadia and MC come upon an old pavilion, where the High Priestess and Chandra await them. MC notes that “the dogs wait [behind us], never coming closer.” Further evidence that the dogs are metaphorical visions, not actually Mercedes & Melchior. 

THE HIGH PRIESTESS: “You’ve strayed far from the path, child.”

NADIA: “High Priestess. What are you doing here?”

THE HIGH PRIESTESS: “I was calling to you. Did you not hear?”

NADIA: “I have been quite busy, High Priestess. I did not have time to answer.”

Nadia’s personal card is The High Priestess. Reversed, the High Priestess means one is ignoring their own intuition and/or subconscious, to their detriment. In Asra’s Book X, Nadia states that her intuition is more like a curse than a gift, which certainly echoes here in the meaning of the High Priestess, Reversed: “Perhaps you doubt yourself or feel silly or guilty for listening to your intuition, and as a result, you deny your ability to tune in and receive this potent information.” 

This conversation also echoes Judgement, Reversed: “The Judgement reversed often appears when the Universe is trying to send you a message and invite you to something bigger, but you’re not listening. You are doing your best to pretend you didn’t receive it and are [...] hoping it will go away.”

The conversation continues:

THE HIGH PRIESTESS: “And so I come to you. These are words you cannot ignore. If you continue down this path, Nadia, all will be lost to you. Your family. Your intuition. Your humanity.”

NADIA: “If I do nothing, I will lose it just the same.”

THE HIGH PRIESTESS: “You know there is another option. You can bind the Devil instead.”

NADIA: “What, and lose MC instead? Slap the Devil on the wrist and throw him in jail? He’ll break free eventually. What’s a thousand years to an immortal being? This is the only way. The only permanent way.”

Note she corrects herself: the only permanent way. She understands there are other alternatives, but hers is best. When the High Priestess offers a solution, binding the Devil, Nadia angrily rejects it because of the risk it poses to MC, and she is unwilling to lose MC again.

It’s important to note that, within the course of a few hours:

Nadia went with MC to confront Lucio in the in-between realms, only to watch (helplessly! a thing she detests!) as Lucio stole MC’s body. (The Devil)

Nadia woke up without MC beside her in her Contemplation Tower, not knowing what Lucio had done or what had happened to MC until she went to the ballroom. (The Devil / The Tower).

Nadia had to send MC to the magical realms for their own protection, alone, where she could not protect them or ensure their welfare (The Tower).

Nadia watched MC struggle to unbind Vlastomil, suffering in the process. MC passes out, and reversed Nadia states that MC “almost died” unbinding Vlastomil (The Moon).

That is four experiences of Nadia being unwillingly parted from MC, either through separation or through a near death experience. That is why she refused to let MC go through the maze alone in The Star. That is why she is so set on not risking MC once again with the plan to bind the Devil. The scene continues:

THE HIGH PRIESTESS: “In a thousand years there will be another like you to step up again. Why must you do everything yourself? Why must you alone fight this threat?”

NADIA: “Because I am the only one I can trust.”

Nadia turns away, anger flashing in her eyes.

NADIA: “You have wasted your time in coming here, High Priestess.”

me 24 hours ago, blissfully unaware of this conversation: mc has spent 20 chapters reinforcing that nadia is the only one nadia can trust me now: wow i hate being right :(

An essential component of the Tragic Hero’s cycle is the hero’s isolation: disgusted by or despairing of the hero’s choices, their family, friends, and allies abandon them, or the hero themself abandons their family, friends, and allies to self-isolate. In Nadia’s case, it is both. She rejects the High Priestess’s wisdom, confident in her own choices (or, at least, unwilling to show the High Priestess that she is anything but 100% confident). In doing so, she pushes the High Priestess away.

And then there’s Chandra, who lands on Nadia’s shoulder and “nips at her ear sadly.” (The tragic piano is still going strong in the background!) The High Priestess, seeing this, says that Chandra “mourns [Nadia’s] loss already.” MC notes that Nadia “swallows hard, stroking Chandra’s neck gently,” and then the following exchange happens:

NADIA: “Must I lose you too, Chandra?”

The owl chirps and flies off her shoulder, going to land next to the High Priestess instead.

NADIA: “... I see. You will come around in time. You will see how necessary this is. Until then... goodbye, my friends.”

Like the dogs, I’m inclined to believe that Chandra is a metaphor, and not the actual owl. Chandra has been with Nadia since her childhood; she is the only thing Nadia took with her, from Prakra to Vesuvia. Chandra abandoning her is another metaphor for how far Nadia has fallen: she is utterly separated from who she once was. She is now, completely, a new person, unrecognizable to her closest and longest friend.

NADIA: “I know I’m right. I know this is the only path to victory... So why won’t anyone listen to me? It feels like I’m speaking to a wall. Do they think me foolish? I’ve considered every possibility. I’ve examined every other avenue. This is the only course of action left. They think I cannot do this. They think me incompetent.”

This is after Nadia leaves the High Priestess, and before the Hierophant informs them that Valdemar and Vulgora are attacking the palace. Note the progression of her thoughts: frustration and certainty in her own decision; questioning why other people think her choice is the wrong one; re-affirming her certainty; assuming that people who do not support her plan are like that not because of any concern for her welfare, but because they doubt her capabilities. I know I am right, but no one listens to me; thus, they are not truly concerned for me — they only think I cannot do this. 

Implicitly, her thoughts that follow: Well, I am going to prove them wrong.

MC can either tell Nadia that they listen to her (to which Nadia praises MC, once again: You are special; you have always been by my side; I know I can trust you, unlike everyone else in the world), or that people who don’t listen are foolish. If the latter, Nadia agrees, saying that people who don’t listen to her end up not doing well, and cites Lucio as an example.

In either case, the exchange reinforces Nadia’s mindset, which has been shown through Nadia’s small vent: She feels as if no one is listening to her, and she is stubbornly convinced that her choice is the best one. She is frustrated that her friends and allies have turned against her, and she does not understand why, because clearly Her Choice Is Best. 

If MC says they are listening, it reinforces that MC is the only one Nadia can keep close (as close as she can allow; trust no one but yourself, after all, is her modus operandi). If MC says the others are the foolish ones, it reinforces that Nadia is Always Right, because when people don’t listen to Nadia, they end up going astray or being worse-off, which just feeds into the cycle of Nadia is Right >> People Who Don’t Listen To Her Are Wrong >> Those People Suffer or Fail >> Thus Proving Nadia Right.

Part 3: Her Sisters

For me, this was easily the most heartbreaking aspect of the book. Nadia leaves the High Priestess angry, and she and MC arrive in a vision of Lucio’s wing. Nadia remains unswayed, telling MC they must keep going (if she looks back, if she falters, she is lost!), but MC, if selecting “I think this is real,” convinces Nadia to go to the ballroom, because Nadia wonders about why her sisters and guards are not stopping the chaos. (Implied in this statement: Why are they incompetent? Why are they useless? Why does everything fall apart without me?) The music is played sped up and backwards, symbolic of how wrong things are without Nadia’s presence.

In the ballroom, MC and Nadia find Natiqa, Nasmira, and Nahara attempting to get the crowds to safety, but the crowd isn’t listening to the Satrinavas. Then Nafizah sees MC and Nadia, and the following absolutely gut-wrenching exchange occurs:

Suddenly Nafizah, who is standing off to the side of her sisters, turns her head and looks straight at us.

NAFIZAH: “Like looking through a mirror into the fog... Why are you so far from us, sister mine?”

NADIA: “You can see us? Of course you can. Why should I be surprised?”

NAFIZAH: “The others need you here. They flounder without your guidance.”

NADIA: “Need me? NEED ME?”

Nadia’s sprite when she says “Need me? NEED ME?” is not an angry sprite. It’s her laughing sprite. You can just hear the angry disbelief. NEED ME? What are you talking about? Immediately with her next line, her sprite transitions into anger.

NADIA: “Since when have any of you needed me for anything? Perfect Nafizah, always looking down your nose at me. All of you did!”

NAFIZAH: “We have only ever loved you, Nadia. As much as you have allowed. The people are in a panic. They will not listen to us. They do not respect us. You must return.”

NADIA: “I will not! All my life, none of you have ever listened to me! You always thought you knew best! I’m doing what has to be done. If I returned, it would give the true villain time to escape. I’m striking now. You will see. And don’t you dare die before I’ve proven myself.”

And don’t you dare die before I’ve proven myself. Holy shit. Cold, but understandable, when taken into the context surrounding Nadia’s relationship with her sisters.

The youngest of seven, Nadia has always felt inadequate to the rest of her sisters. That is clear even in the early route, when she worries that Nasmira will take MC away from her. She is obsessed with proving herself to her sisters. It’s why she married Lucio, to prove to her sisters that she could pull Vesuvia up by its bootstraps. Reversed, that obsession is maintained, and she has no reason to change because MC does not challenge her. 

When asking for her sisters for help in Book XIII Death, she blames the servants for the Masquerade troubles: “I have everything under control, of course. But the servants, they’ve made a mess of things.” It is not her fault that the Masquerade is not ready, it is the servants’; she has everything under control, she is perfectly adequate at hosting a party on such a grand scale. Do not blame me for these failures, sisters, blame others, it is they who are incompetent and untrustworthy, not me.

Now we have even more context for Nadia’s choice to replace the Devil. Not only does Nadia feel the need to achieve her impossible feat — defeating the Devil — for the sake of saving the world and her lover, but as the ultimate way to prove herself to her sisters. They can never consider her a vulnerable baby sister to be coddled and over-protected if she literally defeats the actual Devil.

In her Reversed route, she is still pressured to show both her sisters and herself that she is not the “baby” of the family, which she resents (see the bonus scene about Nadia’s birthday). Considering Nadia is the oldest of the cast, this is obviously a deep, deep wound that stretches back decades, if not her entire life. And MC’s choices did nothing to heal that wound, only keep it open.

Part 4: Wrap Up

Nadia in her Reversed route is a textbook tragic hero. She is a character of royalty (fulfilling antiquity’s requirement that tragic heroes be noble of some sort, because nobility’s fall is always more tragic than a commoner’s); she seeks to accomplish an impossible feat; she isolates herself from her allies, friends, and family; she has a fatal flaw, which is her hubris, aka her conviction that she is in the right no matter what. We have had 20 books of buildup leading to this: the climax of her negative character development. All that remains is the denouement (aka, defeating and replacing the Devil.)

I have every expectation that she will succeed in her impossible feat, but the consequences will be catastrophic. Perhaps she will have to (however unwillingly) isolate herself from MC forever. MC might even become the Fool Arcana to join her, but that is no guarantee that they could actually be together. The Arcana are meant to stay in their separate realms, after all.

The devs promised a bittersweet ending, or a tragic romance. Nadia’s route fulfills both, because the ending is focused on MC and their relationship to their LI, not necessarily the reader’s favorite character, which may hypothetically be a relatively minor antagonist relative to the rest of the route.

Part 5: Last Thoughts

thanks for coming to my ted talk