#they both make horrible decisions borne of preconceptions

[emerald-amidst-gold]

No Title. Only Self Indulgence.

This little idea was stuck in my head, and it was an excuse to make Fane and Solas act like dragon dads again, so I had to. I had to. 

I guess you could consider it ‘spoilers’, but I think everyone knows what the hell Fane is. I haven’t decided how the later chapters are gonna go exactly. So, just view this as a ‘creative’ process - a potential concept for later.

Pairing: Solavellan (Male Lavellan/Solas)

Warnings: None

“Are you certain of this, vhenan? There is still time to intervene.”, Solas asked him with a somber expression - the two of them watching from the shadows as his sister and the others of the Inner Circle swarmed around the clearing of where they had fought against Corypheus. 

Fane merely watched with a semblance of indifference, but inside his whole soul was roaring in anguish and agony, especially as he saw the wave of tears begin to run down Mhairi’s pale cheeks. The pure agony in his sister’s eyes had him shutting his own as the emotions embedded in them were too much for him to bear.

“No. This is the way it has to be. I have accepted that.”, he stated with a pained grimace cracking his stoic mask before continuing, “I wish there was another way, but all I have discovered does not point to one. And so, I must break the leash that binds me.”

Solas simply gave him a hum in sad agreement as the mage reached back to throw up the cowl to conceal his head before delicately brushing a few fingers against the palm of Fane’s hand. 

“We should leave, then, or all of this will have been for naught.”, Solas warned him gently as his hand slowly slipped into Fane’s own.

Fane continued to observe the display below them before closing his eyes once more. Yes, it was time to go. With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw up his own hood before taking Solas’s hand more firmly - giving it a tender squeeze which elicited a small, but sad smile from Solas as the mage began to guide him away from the edge of the hill they were on. Fane followed without a word nor chancing a glance back as he heard his sister’s agonizing wails from beyond. 

Observe and accept. Accept that this is the path you have chosen, but do not forget where it began. He told himself with firmness before striding up to walk beside Solas more confidently. 

Solas gave his hand another soft squeeze before a tiny chirp sounded from the mage’s pack - a tiny white head popping out of it not a second later to look around curiously. Fane and Solas both looked at each other before the mage let out a fond chuckle - reaching back to stroke the tiny dragon’s head.

“Good morning, little one. Or I should say, ‘good evening’. Sleep well?”, Solas asked the white baby dragon - its scales bristling from the touch before it let out a quiet chirp of confirmation, spurring Solas to let out a fond coo, “Excellent. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

Fane couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his sky and his newborn kin despite the grief that weighed down on him. This was what he was abandoning everything else for - his kin. He was willing to sacrifice the world and the people in it only so that his kin could live without fear of being broken and bound again. He hoped that in the months to come, that there would be another way to achieve that without killing everyone, but in his heart, Fane knew that there would be death and heartbreak no matter what. Even so, the sight of his newborn so happy washed away the pain he was feeling; if only for the moment. 

“Hey.”, he called to Solas softly, the mage stopping his fawning over the little dragon to look up at him with a sad, but hopeful smile. “Yes, vhenan?”, Solas asked - the little dragon chirping at Fane excitedly. Fane chuckled fondly at the little dragon, reaching over to give it a gentle stroke before leaning down to nudge a pale cheek tenderly. 

Solas met his action immediately with a nudge of his own - stormy eyes filled with sorrow, but fondness for him.

“I love you.”, he said with a tenderness he rarely ever showed before stopping his nudging to put their foreheads together. 

Solas’s eyes immediately shifted with hues of deep blue and indigo as the love Fane had professed became reflected in them - a tender smile spreading across Solas’s face as he tilted his head to gaze into Fane’s own eyes more deeply.

“Ar lath ma, ma’isenatha.”, Solas murmured to him quietly before their lips brushed together lightly. 

Fane huffed in amusement at the timidness. This fool still thought he couldn’t handle a kiss, didn’t he? Well, then.. 

With a bold, but gentle movement, Fane closed the distance between the two of them - slotting their lips together easily as he tilted his head a bit to deepen the kiss with a calm huff through his nose. Solas froze for a moment upon the contact, but immediately relaxed as Fane deepened the kiss - allowing himself to be swept up in the emotions harbored within it. 

“Hm..”, he hummed out softly before taking another step towards Solas - cupping the man’s face firmly as their lips moved together more deeply and slowly. 

Solas responded with a hum of his own, reaching up to gently hold onto the hands cupping his face as he allowed Fane to lead. Fane slowly became more insistent with his kisses as he carefully, but boldly slipped his tongue into Solas’s mouth - the mage offering no resistance at the action, immediately entwining his tongue with Fane’s in a slow, but bold dance. 

Fane let out a soft growl leave his lips as he began to stroke Solas’s cheeks - the grief from before beginning to crop back up as his emotions ramped up. He wanted to lose himself in the kiss. He wanted to forget everything - if only for the time being. All the pain he had inflicted and the doubt and grief that went along with it was reflected in the dance of tongue and lips as Fane tilted Solas’s head back more with his hands - the elven man letting out an understanding, but quiet moan to let Fane know he knew. With a slow movement, Fane gently pulled his lips away from Solas, a trail of saliva connecting them before he shut his mouth with a pained grimace. 

“Shit..”, he cursed as tears began to prick at his eyes, “Shit..”, he cursed again as the tears began to flow despite his efforts to hold them back.

“Oh, Fane..”, Solas said with a sorrowful tone, carefully leaning up to peck at his cheeks gingerly - a thumb coming up to catch the tears as they fell. “Shh, my heart. I know it hurts. I know.. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you..”, the mage apologized brokenly - the little dragon watching the two of them with a sad growl. 

Despite the tears rolling down his cheeks, Fane couldn’t help but offer the little dragon a smile when he saw the hue of gold attempt to light up - the newborn attempting to ease his pain with its abilities. 

“Look at you. Already, you wish to use your nature as you should..”, he told the little dragon before more tears began to flow, “I..I will make sure you can once again. You will never know a magical leash as long as I am alive. I promise you..”, he vowed around a sob as he let his tears flow unbidden. 

Strong arms wove themselves around his neck to pull him into a tender embrace as he cried - letting his face bury itself into Solas’s shoulder as choked sobs wracked his body. Solas’s hand gently worked its way under his hood to lovingly stroke at whitened hair as he murmured soothing to him.

“You will free them, my dragon. You will..”, Solas encouraged him quietly. All Fane could do was offer a single, but firm nod to Solas’s words before took a deep breath to compose himself - slowly standing up straight to stare into stormy orbs before speaking with resolve.

“We will. And we will free your people, as well, my sky. I vow to you.”, Fane proclaimed passionately, even as tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but kept his face hard with feigned strength.

Solas gave him a grateful, tender, but sorrowful smile before opting to give him a single nod - his own face hardening despite the continued softness in his stormy blue eyes.

“As I vow to you.”, Solas echoed his words before taking Fane’s hand once more - intending to lead him away once more, “Come. We must go.”

Fane nodded once more before easily falling into step next to Solas - their hands linked as if it were the only thing keeping the two from drifting apart. The little dragon’s head swiveled between the two of them before it let out a happy cry. Fane watched as Solas startled before he himself chuckled.

“It seems he has made a vow, as well.”, Fane explained when he saw Solas looking up at the little dragon on his shoulder in confusion.

Solas glanced up at him before a smile of understanding spread on his face, cracking the hardened mask from before.

“Is that so?”, Solas asked the little dragon softly, tilting his head so the newborn could nuzzle at his cheek happily, “Then I accept your vow, little one. As does he.”, the mage said, indicating to Fane with his free hand. 

Fane nodded with his own strained, but soft smile when the white baby dragon looked at him with wide emerald gold eyes. 

Those are the eyes I wish to protect more than anything. They will never be grey again. He thought before nodded once more at the little dragon, “I accept your vow made amid bloodied fields, and vow to you in turn so that emerald pools may forever echo the warmth of gold.”, he said with ease, the little dragon’s wings spreading with excited chirps. 

He watched the little newborn fondly, even as Solas’s hand squeezed his own - the intensity of his stare feeling like no more than the warmth of the sun even as pale moonlight shrouded them in shadow. Yes, this was what all the agony and heartbreak would accomplish; a future where his kin could live as they deserved - as they must. So, he would endure it all in their stead. He would endure until the moon and sun went dark. He would endure until the land beneath his feet crumbled into ash. And he would endure until the day storm colored eyes refused to reflect the sky; his own then refusing to reflect golden trees from the sky’s absence. 

For Fane - no, Aterian - was a dragon, even as his body belonged to the creatures of the immutable world; the wolf currently walking next to him with his own head held high from endurance was the sky, even as he was connected to both the physical world and the Fade. And the only way to fell a dragon was to tear the sky asunder; the only way to tear the sky asunder was to fell a dragon that guarded it. And neither would happen unless the other fell first. 

Solas was ‘He Who Walks Alone’, but the world always forgot what the two of them never would, and that what Fane had and still was. 

Fane was ‘The One Who Flew Above’ - the Dragon of the Dread Wolf, and it would be the only title he would allow to bind him to another. For now and forever.

[lovemesomerafael]

Becoming Mike                       Chapter 2:  Someone You Trust

Source:  @glimmerglittergirl

Chapter 1    Read it on AO3

After two months at SVU, Mike Dodds knew two things.  First, he knew that all of his preconceptions about investigating sex crimes had been wrong.  Second, he knew that his crush on Sonny Carisi was not going away anytime soon.

Mike thought he had learned never to take a story at face value, and he thought he knew how to pick his battles.  At SVU, however, he saw a level of deceit and complex motives that he’d never seen at Anti-Crime.  Of course, every suspect in a street crime lied, but their lies were simple, and so were their motives.  “I didn’t do it.”  “The drugs aren’t mine.”  “I don’t know that person.”  And the victims rarely lied.  With sex crimes, everybody lied, and they did so for so many reasons that the only way to deal with it was to disbelieve everything until it was proven. Benson wouldn’t put it quite like that. For her, the crime happened exactly as the victim said it did until proven otherwise.  But even she was fully aware that the story the victim told was rarely complete, and often inaccurate.  

Mike was still trying to figure out the landscape, but what he did know was that Benson was right to resent his father’s jaded and politically-motivated approach.  Part of Chief Dodds’ job was to manage the headlines, and Mike understood that.  But Mike’s job, and that of his unit, was to figure out what happened, and punish the criminals.  And with sex crimes, that was very, very messy most of the time.  So Mike was learning that some battles were worth fighting, even though the victory might not be what he wished, and might not make good headlines.  He now understood, for example, why Benson had been so determined to work the Lane Baker case, even against Mike’s advice, born of painful experience, about insular religious communities making finding the truth almost impossible.  Chief Dodds would have agreed with his son about dropping that case.  And they would both have been wrong.  Although that victory had made uncomfortable headlines, and had been greatly complicated by the circumstances, it had been worth it.

All that was making things weird with his dad.  When they talked, which was fairly frequently, Mike’s father wanted to talk about their cases.  Wanted to talk about decisions Benson had made.  Wanted to talk about things the squad did.  Mike didn’t want to stonewall – after all, his dad was also his Deputy Chief – but two things held him back.  First and foremost, Mike was not the mole they the squad had suspected he was, and that his father wanted him to be.  Second, Mike himself wasn’t sure how he felt about a lot of things at SVU, and his father the Chief was not the person with whom to work through that.  

Sonny Carisi was.  Mike and Sonny had become legitimate friends.  Mike’s attraction aside, they could talk to each other.  Sonny got Mike.  They had similar experiences as cops, and they daily discovered new things in common. Mike couldn’t help but like the slight tinge of hero worship in the way Sonny looked at him, yet Sonny was comfortable enough with Mike to rib him from time to time, and he wasn’t afraid to offer advice and even occasional constructive criticism. Mike appreciated that.  He wasn’t egotistical, or stupid, enough to be unwilling to listen to a more experienced SVU member.  One of the best things about their relationship was the amount of laughter it involved.  Even when things got ugly, not an infrequent occurrence in SVU, Sonny could lighten the moment with a joke or by making a face.  

Which meant that Mike found himself talking to Sonny over beers more often than he would ever have expected during that first week, and really more than he should.  Not only because he was attracted to Sonny.  That he could handle.  He just had to stay hands off, and keep his mind tightly controlled when they were together.  But because he was Sonny’s superior officer, and there was an appropriate distance to be kept there, too.  Mike’s own command philosophy told him that he shouldn’t be bonding this closely with a subordinate, but there was simply a natural affinity between him and Sonny that drew them together.  

Since that first Friday night, when Mike had been almost sure Sonny was sending him signals, there had been several other moments between them. Moments when Sonny stood too close, or sat with their legs touching, or gave Mike what felt like a special smile that meant… something.  It felt to Mike as though Sonny took every occasion to fist-bump him, bump forearms, clap him on the shoulder or even give him a one-armed hug.  Sonny sometimes said things that Mike could interpret more than one way.  It felt as if Sonny was just waiting for Mike to make a move.  Which, of course, Mike wanted to be the case, but he couldn’t act on it even if it was, so he told himself it was just his horny imagination.

Mike’s horny imagination had become a problem.  He really had to stop thinking about Sonny when he was getting himself off.  If anyone knew how many times Mike had hissed Sonny’s name as he came…  Mike had thought that the answer might be to meet a man who looked like Sonny.  The problem, of course, was that no other man looked like Sonny.  He’d searched for guys who at least reminded him of Sonny, and brought a couple home, but it was no good.  He could close his eyes and imagine it was Sonny he was fucking, but he wanted more than just to fuck Sonny.  He wanted Sonny.  So as soon as it was over, all he wanted was for them to leave him alone with his shame and frustration.  

****************

 From the moment Carisi had pulled the moving blanket back from Lily Evans’s face, the case had been rough on Mike.  She was a child.  Just a kid with a nice family and a budding wild streak, like any other fifteen-year-old girl.  Mike had seen any number of dead bodies and gruesome crime scenes, but something about that little girl, wrapped in a blanket and looking like she was asleep, left among the trash under an overpass, was as wrong as anything he had ever seen in his life.

And it only got worse when he learned that she might still have been alive when Mike had been interviewing the parents and pushing for the squad to drop the case because there was no reason to believe she was anything but a runaway, and maybe not even that.  It was Mike’s fault.  If he’d been less dismissive, moved faster…

The squad had followed where the evidence led, and chased down the string of women with whom one man had fathered several illegitimate sons, to the killer.  But even getting the bastard didn’t help assuage Mike’s guilt, or the feeling of bleak despair that threatened to overwhelm him.  He’d talked Olivia into letting him interrogate the killer, Gary Ryan, in an attempt to find out why he’d done it.  Olivia had warned him it wouldn’t help, and she’d been right.  It had only made Mike feel worse to find out that it was more or less just a horrible series of bad choices by Ryan and there was no why.  And then she had confirmed Mike’s sense that Lily’s parents would never recover from the loss of their little girl.  One life ended and another three destroyed, for no reason.  Because a guy had done something stupid and panicked, following it up with a series of progressively more desperate and idiotic moves that ended up here.  It was all so pointless.

This case had been tough on all of them.  In a characteristic move, Carisi had offered to make dinner for the squad at Amanda’s apartment, to give them a reason to laugh and provide Amanda some relief from the sheer boredom of being on bedrest. Mike felt a wave of warmth, watching the squad taking care of each other, but he couldn’t imagine going with them. He needed to stay at his desk.  He needed to do something to wipe out the sense of helpless rage he felt, and working to get justice for other victims seemed like the only option.

Olivia Benson understood.  She’d been there too many times to count.  So she told Fin and Carisi to go ahead and hung back to talk to Dodds.  She tried to choose her words carefully, so as not to add to his sense of helplessness or despair, but she needed to stop him from making the same mistake she had. He couldn’t work his way through it.  Burying himself in even more human misery was the wrong answer.  The only right answer was to leave it behind.  To remind himself that there was joy and goodness in the world.

In the end, her advice to him was simple.  “Go home.  Talk to somebody you love.”

She left him then, to take her advice or not.  For a moment, he teetered on the edge of indecision. When she’d said that, the face that had come instantly to Mike’s mind, the person he wanted most to talk to about what he was feeling, was Sonny.  Maybe he couldn’t ask Sonny to hold him and tell him everything would be OK, but he could at least be with him, and the rest of the squad, every one of whom understood what he was feeling.  He stood up from his chair and jogged across the squad room to catch up with Olivia.

Amanda’s apartment was small and homey, and it took Carisi no time at all to have it smelling wonderful.  Mike drank the first glass of the red wine he and Olivia had picked up on the way, just listening to everyone chatting and laughing, and considering that each of them had been where he was now.  He realized he was starting to be a part of this team, and he liked the feeling. The wine helped, too.  When his glass was empty, he went into the kitchen to get a refill.

Sonny was in full-on Italian cook mode, in his shirtsleeves with an apron tied around his waist.  He looked graceful and natural as he moved around, seemingly doing eight things at once, and Mike just stood for a moment, leaning against the doorframe and watching him.  Sonny tossed a handful of some herb he’d just diced into a pot of aromatic red sauce, stirred it in, and picked up his wineglass.  Stepping over to Mike, he lifted it in a toast.  

“What are we drinking to?”  Mike asked.

“Dinner with friends,” Sonny answered, keeping eye contact with Mike over the rim of his glass as he drank.  Mike did the same.  As they lowered their glasses, they didn’t look away.  Suddenly, Mike was having trouble remembering how to breathe. Was this…  Was he…  

“You OK?”  Sonny leaned toward Mike just a bit, and his voice was low and soft.  

“I will be,” Mike answered, still looking into those hypnotic eyes.  He couldn’t decide exactly what color they were.  Sometimes they were as blue as the sky, and sometimes, like now, they were almost green.  

“I’m here, if you wanna talk.”  Sonny put a hand on Mike’s shoulder, squeezing just a little before letting his hand glide gently down his forearm for a few inches before removing it.  

Mike gulped.  His cock was suddenly wide awake.  “Thanks. Liv says I should talk to someone I… trust.”

“Tell ya’ what.  Go out there and get Fin to tell you some of his stories from when he was with Narcotics. He’s got some that’ll have you peein’ your pants.  And then get Amanda to bitch about bein’ pregnant.  You need some laughs right now.  After dinner, we can talk on the walk home.  All right?”

“Sure.  Sounds good.”

Sonny stood there, close enough that the hairs on Mike’s arms stood up, looking into Mike’s eyes for just a few beats longer.  Then he grinned and turned back to his cooking.  Mike took a very large drink of his wine, refilled his glass, and went back out to the living room.

Two hours later, Mike was a little drunk and a lot full, Amanda was falling asleep on her couch, and everyone decided it was time to go home. Olivia and Fin shared a cab, and Mike and Sonny set out toward their neighborhood.  

“Tell me,” Sonny said simply, after they’d walked about half a block in silence.

Mike took a moment to respond.  “It’s fucked up.  The whole thing.  She was just a little girl.  One minute she’s at school, swimming, and the next she’s lying dead, surrounded by a bunch of trash cans.  Her parents’ lives are destroyed, and for what?  Because some brain-dead loser decided to make a pass at a kid way too young for him, and then lost it when things went wrong.  I just…  I don’t know how to make sense of any of it.”

“You can’t.”

Mike waited for Sonny to say something else and, when he didn’t, looked over at him with a wry grin.  “Really?  That’s all you got?  ‘You can’t’? Gosh, Doctor Freud, that’s really helpful.  Thanks.”

Both of them laughed.  It felt nice, like laughing with Sonny always did.

“Sorry, Dodds, I’d like to say somethin’ profound that’ll change your life and make it all go away.  But that’s not how it works.  All I got is, you can’t make sense of it, and you’ll drive yourself crazy tryin’.  So what you do is, you talk about it when you gotta, and you leave it in the squadroom when you go home at night.”  

Mike didn’t say anything for a while.  When he did, he talked for a long time, and Sonny just listened, encouraging him from time to time with an “mmm hmmm” or an “I get it.” Mike was surprised to find that it really did help to share some of what he was thinking and feeling.  Just to hear Sonny say that he understood and had felt the same things lightened the load somewhat.  Sonny talked about his experiences in Homicide, and the reasons he’d left, which were quite a bit like what Mike was feeling now.  Although Mike wasn’t even considering leaving SVU, it felt good to hear Sonny remind him that he had options, and that plenty of cops found themselves needing to leave units whose work hit too close to home.  

By the time they approached the corner where they would separate to go to their separate buildings, Mike was feeling considerably better.  They slowed as they got to the corner.

“You got anything to drink at your place?”  Sonny asked.

“Uh, I think I drank my last beer,” Mike lied.  Being alone with Sonny when he was fairly buzzed… not a good idea.

“I do.  C’mon,” Sonny said, nodding his head in the direction of his apartment.

“I dunno, Carisi…  It’s late. We gotta work tomorrow.”

“And our Lieutenant told you to talk about this to someone you trust.  You gonna disobey a direct order?”

Mike shrugged much more casually than he felt, and fell in step beside Sonny.  

Sonny’s apartment was bigger and more comfortable than Mike’s. Mike suspected that Sonny’s mother had something to do with the comfort aspect.  Sonny talked a lot about his family, and it seemed consistent with the things Mike knew about them that Sonny’s apartment would be furnished with cast-offs from his parents’ house.  Mike also couldn’t imagine any man Sonny’s age choosing some of the lamps and artwork for himself.  But somehow the effect, as a whole, was nice.  It felt like a home.  

He stood a little uncomfortably as he watched Sonny lean down to take a couple of beers from his refrigerator, noticing again the loose-limbed way Sonny moved.  Not to mention the shape of his ass.  Mike really shouldn’t be here.  He told himself not to think about the fact that he was alone with Sonny in his apartment, but his dick wasn’t listening.  His dick was noticing Sonny’s mouth as he walked toward Mike, holding out a beer.  

“Have a seat,” Sonny said casually, throwing himself on a worn but comfortable-looking recliner at right angles to the couch.  Mike took a seat on the couch.  He looked around the apartment, down at the beer label, anywhere but at Sonny.

“So.  You were sayin’?”

Mike tried to pick up the strands of the conversation they’d been having.  With Sonny’s encouragement, he spent some more time walking through what had happened, and trying to figure out how to deal with it.

He was relieved when they finished their beers.  The conversation seemed to have just about run its course by that point, anyway, so Mike set his bottle on a nearby table and stood up, intending to go.  

“Thanks for the beer, Carisi.  And I appreciate you listening to me.  It helped.”

“Glad to hear it.  We all need that from time to time.  Next time it’ll be me.”  Sonny stood and moved to the door.

“I’ll be there.”

Sonny put his hand on the doorknob, then turned to Mike, who was just a step behind him, having expected him to open the door.  They were very close together, and neither moved away.

Sonny took a breath and looked him in the eye.  “You ever gonna make a move?”  He asked quietly, his voice an inviting purr with just a hint of teasing.

“A… A move?”  Mike stammered.

One side of Sonny’s mouth turned up in a small, knowing grin. “Right,” he said, and moved to open the door.  

Mike saw himself reach out and put a hand on the door before Sonny could open it.  He really should remember not to drink around this man, especially if he was going to look at him like that.  “Carisi…”

Sonny just stood where he was, hand on the doorknob, looking expectantly into Mike’s eyes.  

“I’m your Sergeant,” Mike breathed.

“I don’t give a fuck.”  Sonny took his hand from the doorknob and placed it in the middle of Mike’s chest, pushing Mike gently against the wall.  He took the step to close the distance between himself and Mike and, in a movement that seemed to take forever, slowly leaned into him.  Sonny’s hands were now on the wall on either side of Mike.  He took his time tilting his face toward Mike’s, giving him time to stop this if he was going to.  Mike wasn’t going to.  Mike couldn’t have stopped this if the fate of the free world depended on it.  

Sonny began by running the tip of his nose lightly against the side of Mike’s, up and down in a slow motion caress.  As their lips touched for the first time, Mike thought his heart would burst from his chest.  The lightning in his belly was almost painful.  Sonny’s lips were as plump and delicious as Mike had imagined they would be, but he had never imagined the way it would feel to have Sonny kiss him, gently and softly at first, but with increasing pressure as he felt Mike respond. Mike instinctively rested his hands on Sonny’s hips as Sonny snaked an arm behind his back.  

Mike had no idea how long they stood there, Sonny pressing lightly against him and firmly in control of the kiss, breathing and tasting each other, while Mike tried to form any coherent thought beyond how much he wanted this man.  It felt like hours, and it was nowhere near long enough.  Everything was right.  Sonny knew exactly what he was doing, using his lips to nibble Mike’s, opening his mouth just enough to keep Mike always on the edge of wanting more.  In the end, Mike was the first to introduce his tongue into the kiss, licking tentatively at Sonny’s lips, only to hear Sonny give the slightest moan and feel his little victory grin.  He had Mike entirely under his control, and he knew it.  So did Mike.  He knew Sonny could feel his erection as they kissed, and he didn’t care. Sonny was hard, too.  Mike slid his hands further around Sonny, feeling the body he’d imagined a thousand times, now truly here in his arms.

Sonny could have pulled Mike toward his bedroom, or the couch, or the floor they were standing on, and Mike would have followed.  Fortunately for Mike, Sonny could still think.  He slid his lips one last time across Mike’s, and pulled slowly and gently out of Mike’s arms.  Both of them were out of breath.  Taking a step back, Sonny put his hand back to the doorknob and turned it, opening the door with a satisfied smirk.  

For a moment, Mike stood where he was, leaning against the wall and blinking stupidly.  When he could function enough to put one foot in front of the other, he pushed off from the wall and stepped out into the hallway.  They shared one last, long look before, without a word, Mike turned and walked toward the stairs.  Sonny watched until Mike reached the door to the stairs, turning to look at Sonny once more before disappearing down the stairwell.

Mike walked out of Sonny’s building and to his own in a daze. He could still taste Sonny, still feel his lips and his chest pressing against his own, still see the look in Sonny’s eyes just as he leaned in to kiss him…  Sonny Carisi wanted him.  Sonny – and Adam’s balls, where had he learned to kiss like that – was willing to ignore the strict rules against a superior officer having a relationship with his subordinate.  For him. Mike tried to absorb the idea that the man he’d fantasized about for two months straight had actually been sending him signals.  Gorgeous, impossibly sexy Sonny Carisi had kissed him.  Had owned him with a mere kiss. 

Oh, Mike had it bad.  

[multisfabulis]

Fluffles Part 2

To anyone wondering what fluffles are, they’re basically little tidbits of information I’ll share about the characters that have been introduced so far since the possibility of when or even if another segment about these stuffies is very much in the air. Plus, it’s more information about these characters that you get to know!

I usually write these fluffles on my OC Twitter so if they’re formatted or written weird, that’s why.

So I know I didn't mention this in their bios but I planned that, on the day of Astra's coronation as queen, a rival kingdom would invade the Caeleste kingdom in order to usurp her rule (Cliche as hell, I know), Miranda and Fenrir would try and get the invaders' attention so that Astra and Orion would be able to escape. During the fight, both Miranda and Fenrir would get severely injured, actually losing a part of themselves (Miranda, her right arm and Fenrir, one of his eyes) before becoming subsequently captured. During their time in imprisonment, they'd be tortured for information about the Caeleste kingdom and any safe places Astra and Orion might go to. After some time, Miranda and Fenrir would be rescued by the main guards of the main town, Aurora Zenith (The only place I actually developed), on Astra and Orion's behalf. I only got that far in terms of planning but I wanted to basically knock Miranda and Fenrir down a peg (Great way to talk about your OCs, Airi...).

As their personalities are put in their bios, I wanted to try writing how Miranda and Fenrir would've coped with this traumatic experience in their own ways.

I imagine Miranda would try to play it off cool, make it seem like losing an arm and being tortured right after isn't such a big deal, only to eventually start cracking once she can't stop shaking from the possibility of fighting again and finding her attacks much harder to deal and land.

Fenrir, on the other hand, would never talk about it, distancing himself from everyone and make it seem like the whole thing didn't get to him. People would start seeing how it's quite the opposite when they see Fenrir sometimes flinch if a hand's being raised or notice him spacing out (Which, for him, is really obvious).

Of course they'd get help but it'd definitely be a long and difficult process (That's about it as far as I planned).

Orion has a tendency to run away from problems, whether it be out of fear, emotional burden, or both. Part of the reason is that he believes some problems don't have a solution to them while another part is because he doesn't believe he can do much more than to run away.

Because of how close they are, Astra knows this and, due to her not wanting to upset him and possibly believing that Orion should work it out on his own, she doesn't call him out on it and will sometimes enable it, which of course doesn't solve anything.

However, I have imagined a scenario where Orion, already dealing with the stress of having to escape from invaders wanting to kill him and seeing Miranda and Fenrir horribly maimed from trying to protect him and Astra, decides to cut ties with them, not wanting to deal with the reality of their possible deaths. Initially, Astra goes along with it, thinking Orion's trying to cope with what happened in his own way and would later rethink his decision. When some time passes, she eventually realizes he was serious and, seeing how this is doing more harm than good to both parties involved, she goes to confront him. I'd like to think this as it being emotional since Astra calls Orion out on his behavior, even saying she was wrong for not stopping it sooner and believing he'd get over it without any help, while Orion admits he's known about this for years but has never tried to fix it due to his insecurities and fears and his belief he can't be anything more than a coward. Course, if you know me, this does lead to Orion reversing his decision but it also leads to Orion to try working on his avoidance issues with Astra promising to not enable it and to help him by correcting him if she starts to suspect him doing it again.

As I mentioned in their summaries, Miranda and Fenrir are the leaders of the Caeleste Guard, which is an achievement in of itself, but for these two, I'd like to think it's more... a moment of triumph by successfully subverting everyone's expectations of them. I only very recently got this idea for Miranda and Fenrir so there's probably gonna be some fine-tuning but I'd like to think of them being treated as sort of outcasts during their childhood (Although, not to the point of being treated like Ven was).

When I was in the process of making Fenrir a lycanthrope, I had the idea of people looking down on the Lycan race due to preconceptions and/or stereotypes so I'm basically bringing this idea to life, which means Fenrir was pitied at best or discriminated at worst (I.E. being called names such as 'mutt' or 'dog' or being accused of killing livestock whenever they go missing, etc).

Miranda, on the other hand, was born as a mixed child (I haven't come up with the various races that reside in the Caeleste kingdom and because there aren't any IRL ethnicities or nationalities in the universe, the best I can say for Miranda is that she'd be biracial in the real world, though not in the way you'd expect) out of an illegitimate love affair between a duchess and a woodcutter (What her father could be just came to me and it makes sense because this could be why Miranda chooses to wield a battleaxe instead of a regular sword). The duchess, not wanting to ruin her public image, dumps the baby at the father's door and never looks back and that explains Miranda's circumstances.

Long story short, I like to think that, despite how life's dealt them a crappy hand during their childhood, Miranda and Fenrir would want to prove everyone that said they wouldn't amount to much in life wrong by deciding to be part of the royal guard and make something of themselves (Although, for my sake, I'll say they didn't expect to be leaders and considered it to be a far-off dream).

I like to imagine Astra placing impossibly high standards on herself when it comes to her wanting to be a good queen to her people. She's constantly worrying over if she's meeting those standards and pushes herself to the extreme to meet them. If I had to put it in simpler terms, it's pressure from both herself and everyone's expectations of her that is slowly but surely pushing her to the brink of a breakdown.

Astra's the type of person to not really let anyone in on her worries and such, meaning no one would expect her breakdown until it'd already happen. She doesn't want people to worry over her and certainly disappoint everyone around her, hence why she keeps all of it in.

I had an idea in that, when the Caeleste kingdom's been invaded, Astra would feel a little relieved because everyone's eyes would be off of her. However, she still needed to put up a facade of being strong because, as previously stated before, she doesn't want others worrying over her.

I believe I mentioned in their summaries that Astra lets Orion have control over the Luna faction because she wants him to know he's just as important to their kingdom as her. However, the cause of this would be because Astra feels as if she's responsible for a lot of Orion's issues. Here comes an exposition dump...

Orion is the only successor to the branch family, as is Astra to the main family. The branch family cannot rule over the Caeleste kingdom as they do not have the power to do so. The main family can only be the ruling party as they have the power, as can be expected. Orion's older than Astra by either a few months or a year (I haven't decided as of now); as such, he doesn't hold claim to the throne. While he doesn't hold any resentment towards Astra, his position in the family leads him to believe he isn't important to the kingdom and that there's no need for him to be around. Astra knows about this and believes it to be her fault, simply because she was born (Which I know sounds like a stupid reason for getting guilty over but Astra doesn't exactly have proof or the confidence to prove herself wrong otherwise...). So, while they are close to one another, they do NOT talk to each other about these issues, mainly because it'd be pretty hard to talk to someone about your insecurities when the other feels like it's their fault for those insecurities.