#we actually finished something lol

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Freddie is way too powerful in this season's setting someone needs to stop him it's episode 1 and Tony already has:

A goofy silly voice

The capacity to hit children without repercussions

A gun

Literal insanity Glenn and Taylor would have dreamed of being in this position I can't wait to see this stupid man get into situations.

[vaguely-concerned]

from what I infer from some of his dialogue, my guess is that while lucanis hasn't had a proper relationship before he has had one night stands and short term flings. and -- listen, I know he's a dick and a menace and probably a hopeless case but please do still spare illario dellamorte a moment of your thoughts and pity for the role of incredulous yet intrepid wing man that he's all but certainly had to play on several occasions for that to happen. there are 100% people out there who were trying SO fucking hard to get no strings attached laid by this stupidly hot emotionally unavailable mysterious stranger who won't be in town for long without lucanis ever realizing it. people who would have remained tragically unlaid if illario weren't there to clue him in.

I'm just imagining Illario staring in pure dismay and disbelief at his dumbass of a cousin failing to pick up what someone isn't just putting down but scattering all over the floor like glittery confetti burning with a magnesium flame brightness to spell out 'SIR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RAIL ME THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ENTHUSIASTIC INVITATION TO MY BED' and having to push him out the door after them like 'maker's breath sometimes i don't understand how you have the wits to grip the right end of a knife, lucanis, they were throwing themselves at you and you just stared at them in mild puzzlement until they gave up and went away go fucking GET THEM for the sake of my sanity if nothing else!!!'

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

if Crozier had a nickel for every time someone close to him kept a mortal wound secret from him he'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's definitely enough to give him some very specific trauma for the rest of his life

[kkolg]

Abyss - Scraton

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[inexplicably-spookified]

Lea… do you remember what a clear sky looks like at night?

Out in the countryside, no town or city nearby?

I hope one day you will…

[vodka-and-ocs]

mir and asher sillies

[seasicksilver]

animation practice with the silly, mainly focused on my own personal workflow :>

audio credits to @/kemnyohfr on tiktok

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers

I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.

But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!

There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.

Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.

And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[a-lonely-dunedain]

65 + 70 for mini fellowship (or whatever combo of them you desire)

oooh “what’s left/remnants” + “false promises” that's a good combo! I suppose there's two mini fellowships in the game now lol, but I'm going with the Before the Shadow one! (from this ask game. so far the only ask I got from it so do feel free to feed the askbox!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of them watch as Boromir departs, and a little longer still, even after he disappeared beyond a bend in the road. The two brothers stand alone, just as they had begun this journey, all that remains of their little group.

Neither of them had expected it to dissolve so quickly, and especially not with betrayal at the root. Tossdir regrets that those Rohirric folk songs Egfrith taught them around the fire will likely always leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He finds he is more saddened than angered by that realization.

After a while Meneldir sighs heavily, “Well Tossdir, unless you too wish to leave me, I think we should return to Herne-”

Tossdir laughs despite his mood “Me? Leave? Have you forgotten who you are talking to?” He elbows Meneldir’s arm “I’m afraid you will not be rid of me that easily.”

Meneldir breathes a humorless laugh “Hah, suppose you’re right. I wish the same could have been said of our other companions...” they turn to walk the long road back to Herne

“I had hoped it might be easier to face the scorn of the Dúnedain with more friends at my side.” Meneldir’s shoulder hang “But Boromir is gone and Egfrith was no friend at all, in the end.”

“She might have slain us in our sleep, but did not.” Tossdir quietly reminds him.

“Aye, perhaps a foe with some fragments of a conscious left, but a servant of the Enemy all the same.” he remarks sadly

“You’re right, she was, but those fragments might have been enough. If only we could have caught up to her! Maybe she could have been reasoned with...” Meneldir is silent. He guesses that if they had caught up to her, Boromir’s sword would have done the talking long before Tossdir would get the chance. And Meneldir would not have tried to stop him.

“...Sometimes I think you put a little too much faith in people’s willingness to change.” he finally says “One cannot be so easily talked off such dark a path. Especially not with a Wizard involved.”

“I never said it would have been easy,” Tossdir says quietly “but I wish we could have tried, that’s all.”

There is silence for a long time as they walk, the sound of their footfall only ever joined by an occasional lonely birdsong, but that too eventually leaves them as they sky turns to dusk.

“I wish you could have tried too,” Meneldir finally breaks their silence “Perhaps you would have had better luck than myself or Boromir. I... don’t think I meant what I said earlier, about you having too much faith in people. Maybe that faith in and of itself could have done something.” he flashes a halfhearted smile “I mean, it worked on me, after all. I think anyone else should have given up on me a long time ago...”

Tossdir’s expression brightens, then falls again. “Somehow, being told that I’m right only fills me with deeper regret. We will never know now, as she has fled beyond our reach...”

Meneldir gives a resigned sigh “That is why it’s probably best not to dwell on wishes and what ifs. Right now, we should focus on finding Narndir. After all this, I will be doubly glad to see him again.”

The next day, they find Narndir, and bury what is left of him.

Meneldir does not speak for a long time after that, not until they come to Sarn Ford, and to Halbarad’s scorn. Meneldir did not speak to defend himself, but Tossdir bristled at the captain’s remarks. Though there was little time to dwell upon bruised feelings, once they learn of the true horror that befell Sarn Ford mere days ago.

They help gather Rangers at Caranost, and following the rumor of some new terror awakened by the Nine, come to Amon Firn, to Tyrn Gorthad, and then to Dol Ernil.

In the end they succeeded in finding the Grey Fear. Or rather, it succeeded in finding them.

Even when Tossdir was overtaken by it and used as the Grey Fear’s new vessel, Meneldir did not waiver in his defiance of it, and tirelessly hunted it down in desperate hope of saving his brother.

It cost Meneldir his life, but Tossdir was saved, and Grey Fear was at last banished from these lands evermore.

As he breathes his last, Meneldir remembers a promise he made to Tossdir some time ago, he promised that he would not leave him, that for a long as Tossdir lacked the sense to abandon him and go home, they would remain together.

Even as his spirit slips free from his body, he wills himself to remain at his little brother's side. Unseen, unheard and unfelt, but present all the same.

This promise, despite everything, will not prove false.

[sheliesshattered]

somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[hobbithoes]

Gonna start posting again soon fr , it’s just hard to manage my time , venting in the tags incomingggg ✈️

[the-mononoke-facade]

Funny thing in this book is the amount of time taken to describe the medicine vendor just for the person doing the extensive description to pretty much forget all about him and not recognize him the next time they see him

He's got such a distinctive appearance that you needed to take the time to note it in a book where character descriptions are exceedingly rare and that didn't stand out enough to be memorable? Come on now lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...