#ways that won't make sense to a lot of people. But it makes sense to me and thats what matters. If someones a robot. If someones an
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This had never occurred to me way back when when I first watched playthroughs of the game/played it myself, but;
Seeing this post made me remember Max's nightmare, when she was trapped in her own mind/a broken version of reality.
And seeing this now?
Max definitely has PTSD.
Everyone always primarily discusses/ focuses on Chloe's trauma (which is understandable. I'll always be a Chloe defender and don't want to downplay her trauma by any means.)
But, unfortunately, Max's is overlooked.
Now, a lot of people might view this skeptically, question the idea of Max having PTSD. To many, it might seem like Max doesn't really have any lasting form of major trauma after the events of the game. Maybe she really was content and at peace and happy-go-lucky. (I've always scoffed at that scene at Chloe's funeral, when Max smiles at the butterfly.) And I'll admit, within the context of the story maybe we aren't supposed to think so. But if that's the case I just have to assume that's due to the developing team's lack of knowledge, experience with mental health and how it works, the impact things like this have on someone. Not that they are coming from a malicious place, of course. But very rarely does a person 'get it' unless they've been through it themselves. The average person simply won't understand.
But if you see everything I've described here as it's laid out, it makes total sense;
Let's talk about Jefferson. He is just one of many elements in the game contributing to Max's trauma. He was her teacher, someone she looked up to, respected, and was supposed to be able to trust. She truly felt safe around him. It's implied she had a crush on him. But her image of him completely shattered. After the truth about him was revealed, she was no longer able to trust her own judgement of people, her perception of reality.
He drugged her when she was vulnerable, and she was helpless to watch as he shot and killed the love of her life right in front of her. He kidnapped her, and she was thrown from the frying pan right into the fire. When she woke up she was tied up in a basement, helpless, and he had burned all her photos. Not only precious memories, but also one of her only means of going back and fixing things. He then took photos of her, over and over, this went on for who knows how long, while she was drugged, tied up and helpless, in order to satisfy his own perversions. Throughout, he mocked and tormented her.
Then, let's go into what happened with Chloe. Having to watch her best friend, the girl she loved, die over and over and over again. Max felt responsible for fixing it, preventing it, because she was the only one who possibly could. She would blame herself, think of it as a failure on her part each time Chloe died.
After watching her die in various ways, so many times, I'm sure Max questioned if she really even could save Chloe- or if Chloe was supposed to die from the start, and the universe was determined to restore the balance, no matter what Max did or how hard she tried.
And then there's Kate. This could go one of two ways depending on your choices, one of which is infinitely worse and more traumatizing, but either way it would definitely have haunted Max and left an impact on her.
Imagine how you would feel, knowing one of your closest friends was being bullied. Knowing they have been drunk/drugged and taken advantage of at a party. Yet instead of anyone coming forward, doing the right thing and helping Kate out of that situation, everyone at the party instead weaponized it, used it against her, slut-shamed her even though she wasn't in her right mind, was barely even conscious and was in no way able to consent to anything that was happening. Not that slut-shaming her would have in any way been okay or excusable even if Kate was acting of her own volition. Knowing that, even though you don't agree/don't identify with that, that your friend is deeply religious and clings to faith as a means of comfort. Knowing that she feels like a failure, that she feels like she's betrayed her faith, everything she stands for, and her family, even though she was in fact a victim in her situation. Being able to read letters, watching her family victim-blame her, hide behind their beliefs as a means to tear down someone they should feel obligated to protect, to support. Watching your friend be alienated by everyone around her, including her own family. Watching the school bullies write obscenities about your friend on the walls, and in the bathroom, make jabs at her and taunt her at every possible opportunity. Your friend's light has begun to dim, she starts pulling away from you, begins hiding away in her room more, which now feels like a dark, oppresive void. You know your friend is depressed, and you're trying to be supportive in any way you can, but there's a distance building between you you feel you can't bridge.
Then it happens. She kills herself/tries to kill herself. In front of you, and everyone who tormented her. Even then, the people who hurt her have no shame, laughing and recording her when she's in crisis. You begin to question and blame yourself, blaming youself for not noticing something was severely wrong earlier, not recognizing the impending signs for what they were. You want to help your friend, to save her, but your powers at failing you at the worst possible time. You only get one chance to do this, like everyone else, and you have to do it the right way.
If Max managed to talk Kate down, that's still an instense emotional weight, still a serious event to work through and process.
If Kate jumps…well…
Max feels like a failure. Like she contributed to Kate's death just as much as everyone else. Like she may as well have pushed Kate off that ledge herself. Not only watching your friend die in front of you, but knowing that it was self-inflicted in a moment of desperation, that they chose to do so and your words had no effect…
Now, the end of the game. Depending on what you choose, Max either has to to feel an immeasurable weight on her conscience, the responsibility for the destruction of the town where she was born. Where she grew up. Where she has countless memories, despite its' faults. The deaths of almost everyone there she's ever known.
Including (especially) Joyce.
The guilt of feeling like she took Chloe's mom away from her too, after Chloe had already lost her dad.
Oh. And that reminds me.
It was an incredible miracle, Max discovering her ability to go back through time via photos. Being able to go back 5 years, to when she and Chloe were only 13, before all the horror had happened, and save William. The sense of sheer relief, happiness and accomplishment she felt. She felt like a hero.
Only for it to all blow up in her face in the worst possible way.
Seeing Chloe, now a total shell of her former self. Completely disabled, and paralyzed. Helpless. Unable to live on her own. Seeing firsthand the emotional and financial stress William and Joyce are going through as a result of the accident. Chloe having so little quality of life that she pleads with Max to kill her, because she can't even do it herself.
(This is not my narrative or opinion on Chloe's situation, by the way. This is how it's portrayed. Quality of life, determining whether your life is worth living to due a life-changing accident or consequent disability is the choice of the invidual whom it effects. I'm not saying that anyone in Chloe's situation, who is paralyzed would inherently have no quality of life or no reason to live. That really depends on the invidiual, what that person needs in order to truly live and thrive, whether that person has family and friends and an emotional/practical support system in their life, etc. For Chloe, for me, and for many other people, though not all, living that kind of life would not be worth it.)
Max, depending on your choices, having to kill Chloe, to choose the merciful path, allow Chloe to exercise her autonomy in a world in which she can no longer do so and put her out of her misery. Knowing that she's doing for Chloe what she'd want someone to do for her if she were in that situation, yet still full of pain and regrets.
Max then having to go back and undo it all. Allow William to die again. Watch Chloe experience that horror and trauma again, knowing now she could've prevented it. But at what cost?
Lastly, if you chose to let Chloe go. To let her die.
That makes it immeasurably worse in my opinion.
The week she and Chloe spent together, reconnecting and rebulding their friendship, everything they went through together, would essentially never have happened.
Chloe, in this timeline, died alone in a bathroom. She never recieved any sort of closure, never got to know what happened to Rachel, questioning if Rachel perhaps just abandoned her, similarly to how Max did.
She never got to resolve things with Max, never heard from her again. She never got to know that Max still loved her, still cared about her and thought of her, but was too scared and guilty to reach out.
She never got to patch up things with her mom, or with David.
Everything Max went through. Everything she experienced.
To recap:
Having to watch her best friend, the woman she loves, die over and over again, feeling helpless, trapped in this endless, hellish cycle of death.
Being lulled into a false sense of security, betrayed and abducted by someone she thought she could trust, someone she looked up to.
Witnessing firsthand Kate's suicide/attempt, feeling like she failed her.
Being forced to let William die again, and force Joyce and Chloe to suffer that loss again.
Having to watch Joyce mourn her only daughter, after already losing her husband. Knowing she could've prevented it.
Everything that happened would still exist, but only in Max's mind.
She has no one she could ever confide in, talk to, or open up about it.
Chloe, for her, was that person.
No one would believe her, albeit understandably.
It's implied her powers vanish after she goes back that final time to let Chloe die.
She'd have no way to prove her story was true.
Carrying the weight of that burden, that knowledge and trauma, alone, would drive anyone insane.
Feeling like everything she went through, all the efforts she made to keep Chloe alive, were pointless.
I don't believe there is any way Max could be okay after that.
She'd be a hollow shell, just going through the motions. Totally disconnected from the world and the people around her. (Understandably. Who the hell could she connect to? Who would understand her?) Everyone at Blackwell, and their student lives and petty drama would feel so insignificant. So incredibly stupid and shallow to Max after what she's been through.
In fact, I've always felt - years after the events of the game, were you to choose to let Chloe die - that Max likely killed herself.
Over time, she probably began to question herself, to feel crazy, and begin wondering whether any of what happened, actually did, or if it was just something her mind created.
Max's trauma, her thoughts and emotions in regards to all of this are reflected in this part of the game, her mental breakdown. You can see her self-loathing, the way she blames and criticizes herself, in her interactions with herself and in her distorted journal entries.
Anyway. I never really liked Max all that much as a protagonist.
I thought she was a pushover, a little shallow, cared too much about what people like Victoria thought of her. I thought it was pretty unforgivable the way she ghosted Chloe, at the most traumatic, formative time of Chloe's life, when she had just lost the most important person in her life, besides Max. I understand anxiety, feeling awkward, helpless and flailing in that situation and not knowing what to say or do to make it better, but it just doesn't matter to me. Nothing excuses that.
However…
Max, did ultimately (well, depending on your choice at the ending,) make it right.
This has given me some perspective, and I have a lot more empathy for her now.
you thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? — twist time around your fingers?
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#life is strange max#lis max#max caulfield life is strange#max caulfield lis#max life is strange#max lis#max's mental health#PTSD#analysis#media analysis#media literacy#literary analysis#characterization#meta#life is strange meta#thesis#character thesis#character analysis#chloe price#life is strange chloe#pricefield#chloe price x max caulfield#max caulfield x chloe price#chloe x max#max x chloe#chloe price life is strange#fave posts
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Pick a pile : 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 ❄️
A little gift as the year comes to a close. I intend that this winter brings you what you're looking for 🤍
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Picture 1
• You'll be confronting your shadows (habits and doubts) that hold you back and emerge stronger. It's a blessing to master your impulses rather than be consumed by them.
• You'll be able to outsmart people trying to sabotage or trick you.
• Moments of joy and celebration with people you know and trust rather than having to be around people you don't out of obligation.
• Some of you might even be able to be sober or cut out an unhealthy addiction or attachment around this time. Please be kind towards yourself and celebrate your wins.
• You'll have the necessary tools and resources to bring what you want in your life. This means, if you think that you're falling short of something, it's not true. Think again, you'll always be provided for, stealth opportunities will always arrive, solutions will always be presented, you also likely have the skill required for XYZ etc.
• Very niche blessing, but if some of you were struggling with hair issues, this will get better. Expect healthier hair regardless of whatever length you're going for.
• Some of you will also be blessed with better colleagues or social circles/network.
• Look out for messages in your dreams or any 'hunches' that you get.
• There's also a message I'm getting to expand your horizons, don't confine yourself because you're used to it.
Picture 2
• The comfort you've been seeking? It's here. Some of you may have also be seeking a new home or a place that feels like one, it's all coming.
• An absolute boost in your finances and resources. Some of you might also get a high paying work from home job or something involving houses etc or your own business that will be successful wherever you decide to run it from.
• Wisdom and clarity in your intuition will guide you the most. You'll be blessed in making decisions quickly and effectively. You'll also feel a lot more authoritative in your life. You'll also be able to switch off external noise, retreat and be content with yourself and your inner knowing.
• Blessings of steady progress and tangible results. Whatever efforts you've put in and continue to put in this season will lead to substantial accomplishment in the coming 8-9 months. It will be a very visible progress.
• You'll be blessed with something that makes you rather excited even if it seems like a lot of work is required in it you'll be more than happy to do it. Some of you may also be preparing to travel. I'm also seeing peace, prosperity and a sense of balance coming out of said travelling.
• It seems like during Autumn season some of you diligently 'locked in' be it in your mindset or anything that you believed in and this winter is bringing you the results.
Picture 3
• You'll be blessed with moments of pure joy and happiness. Maybe in the beginning it might even feel difficult to process an emotion this lovely but it will start becoming your new normal. Promise yourself to strive for the same.
• You'll have recognition and acknowledgement even for the small wins. It will flow in easier for you. Whether it's a compliment or a thank you or a simple celebration. You'll feel appreciated. And you deserve it!
• Your smaller wins will accumulate into bigger ones. You may also get a lumpsum of money or something tangible out of the blue.
• Balance will come to you naturally. Be it your personal and professional life or your own physical health etc. you won't feel like you're always on the edge of tipping over.
• You'll be blessed with a better sense of self and well being which will come through sooner once you acknowledge your own ways of self sabotage and decide to not let this be something you hold onto any longer. It's not worth it. That your self worth isn't tied to others or anything outside of you. That you are capable.
• Some of you, if you've been struggling with authority, leadership or a father figure in your life. Expect things to get better.
• Some of you who are athletes or in any kind of sports or entertainment, look forward to much awaited recognition as well as allocades.
#free readings#tarot community#divination community#pick a card#pac#pick a picture#pick a pile#winter messages
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🤴God / 🫅Goddess Appeal
<Applies to both Male & Female>
*Personal Observation / Experience*
What do I mean by god/goddess appeal?
Well, I believe individuals who have certain aspects, placements, or signs (which I have listed below) enforces others to view them in a positive light or show admiration. The explanation as to what causes that positive outlook can be better understood by knowing the roles of the planets or signs. You can use the examples of the planet's role from my sex appeal post to help better understand. I’m just a bit lazy sometimes, lol.
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Venus conjunct Neptune
Sun/Rising/Moon/MC/Mercury/Mars/Jupiter/Neptune conjunct Venus
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Venus conjunct Mars
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Mars conjunct Saturn
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct Juno
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Nymphe #875
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Psyche #16
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Eros #433
Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Aphrodite #1388
*Personally I think when it comes down to asteroids in conjunction to Venus, there’s a 50/50 chance that it’s attention towards you (why people want to be in a relationship with you) or it’s all about your nature in a relationship. That’s why I didn’t include Venus for the asteroids. I never seen its effect on these asteroids. If any of y’all have, please let me know :)*
Any of those planets in Pisces, Cancer, Libra, Taurus, Capricorn and Aries.
*Personally, I find Capricorns hot and cold. So I included them in this and my sex appeal post. They carry a very dominant yet mature vibe and can be seen as hot and cute. They are the Gemini’s of appearance because of their capability to shift from being hot to cute. Example: Jennie (Blackpink), Timothée Chalamet, Zayn Malik, Kim Tae-hyung (BTS), etc.*
Any of those planets & asteroids in the 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, and 11th house.
Trines/Opposition/Square/Sextile also apply. Conjunctions are the most powerful and/or tighter the orbs of the aspect. Orbs (0-3), the more prominent it plays out in your life. Orbs (4-7) is somewhat in the middle.
Examples:
People with Sun and/or Rising conjunct Neptune or in Pisces literally act like the Geminis of the water sign with the mindset of Libra or some. They know how to get their way around shit and don't like problems, so instead of siding with their opinion, they just go along with whatever the other person says to keep the peace. This is one of the zodiac signs I have seen as the most mutable after Libras. I never heard people saying shit about Pisces. They are usually welcomed in any type of friend groups.
Any planet in aspect with Neptune makes the individual dreamy, ethereal, and magnetic for whatever that planet represents. Ex: Sun conjunct Neptune their personality, Rising conjunct Neptune -> their features and sense of style, etc. These people are like Libra’s, but the emotional version.
Mercury conjunct Neptune individuals better sing their asses off. Many celebrities who have this are known for their voices and how beautiful they sound. Ummmm hello Ariana Grande & Jennie from Blackpink….. These people possess a voice that can influence and attract others. For instance, people with Mercury conjunct Pluto have a unique conversational style, but people with Mercury conjunct Neptune have a unique tone and voice. There was this one time I ordered pizza over the phone and man I was getting butterflies over the man who took my order. The tone of his voice was such a turn-on. I won't be surprised if he had this aspect.
I have Nymphe conjunct my Rising in the 12th house. Since nymphe is in my 12th house, the effect on others usually takes place when they get to know me, are around me, or when they talk to me. I get called adorable a lot by men and some women. I have been told by one coworker that I’m so naive and that it’s adorable. Yes, I have been a very sheltered female, lol. One day at my corporate job my coworkers were talking about Greek people, and I was like “Oh I didn’t know they still existed”. They burst out laughing and one of my coworkers yelled out “You’re so adorable…that was so cute”. Mind you, my director was behind them. I was scared I was going to get fired for being stupid. If Indians find out about me and my stupidity, they will not claim me, lol. Even when I had to take gym class in high school, I was so embarrassed to run and still am because I didn't want to look stupid. My gym teacher would always hype me up like a father. Everyone in that gym class knew our gym teacher had a special spot for me. I'm seen as a kid to adults, tho I'm 23. I honestly think because of that, I attract pedophiles. When I used to work part-time at a restaurant, a female manager (40-50yr old) who I think could be bisexual told me to make OnlyFans. She randomly told me her daughter does and she watches them. And kept pushing me to. The bartender kept telling me she has a thing for me. I also had older men (40 and up) sexualize me. A grown man touched me on my back when I went grocery shopping. The crazy thing is he did it when his son walked away somewhere. Despite being adorable and childish, this aspect has the potential to attract pedophiles. I know I'm not a kid, but my innocence and naiveness draws predators.
I have Psyche conjunct my Rising in the 1st house. I have a way of getting out of trouble, lol. It’s like people can tell I have good intentions and go easy on me. All I have to do is make eye contact, and people feel connected to me soulfully. I usually get along with men more, and they respect me more than females. If y'all know the story of Psyche dealing with jealousy from her sisters and Aphrodite. That shit ain’t wrong. I always felt as if females didn’t like me, like they were jealous. For instance, I was shocked when I found out that this girlfriend whom I had been friends with since middle school tried to copy my facial feature. She slipped up and told me on a phone call that she showed a picture of my face when she got her chin done. She said even the surgeon was shocked that my cheekbones and chin were natural. Like WTF! That's creepy man. I would never show a picture of my friend if I was trying to get something done on myself. The girl been jealous of me the entire time of our friendship and released it by getting work done. I’m not close to her like that anymore. A positive example of this aspect would be me only getting warnings from cops. One day I sped through the school zone and got caught. I pulled over, and the cop asked me what do you think will happen now. I told him my car insurance will go high. The crazy thing is I left my wallet and DL at home. I was thankfully able to find a picture on my phone and yes he let me go with a warning. Another time a police car was behind me at the traffic lights, and it was red. When the traffic light turned green, the police siren went off, and I thought there was a criminal before me. I did the same shit the guy before me did and pulled over to the grass on the right. Next thing you know I was the criminal lol. The cop asked me why I didn’t let him cross. Apparently I was supposed to because his lights were on. Yep, I used my Psyche magic trick. I made them eye contact, and I was let go with a warning. There were worse situations I got away with other people wouldn’t have, but I don’t want to get in trouble by saying it lol. This special effect affects anybody I make eye contact with when I’m in an emotional state. A blessing in disguise for sure.
Yep, I also got Eros conjunct my Rising in the 1st house. This aspect is supposed to exude sensual vibes. I have other asteroids and placements bringing in crazy shit to my life lol. I have come to the realization though that when I attempt to charm someone, my Eros emerges. I know it’s my Eros because with the other aspects and placements, they are apparent when I’m being myself, as my situation resonates with their description. Back to Eros topic-> men usually stiffen up from the tension they feel from me. I could tell from that eye contact. I know this sensation because when I was in high school, I had a crush on this dude. I would purposely turn on this innocent charm of mine, but to him, it was sexual. He got a boner in class. I can make others feel sexual around me. I don’t want to think about it, lol. Although the impact of this asteroid tends to be more sexual, it tends to be more positive and not abrupt. To simplify, I have never had a negative reaction from this aspect, but if anything, it strengthens my influence. When people feel a sense of sexual tension, they respect my space.
A girl who had Sun conjunct Venus aspect worked at my workplace briefly. Man, she drew everyone’s attention towards her. Shit, even I liked being around her. It was honestly so hard to judge her. It’s like you automatically accept people with this aspect and their energy. I’m the type of person who likes to intuitively feel out a person and can tell who I should cut off or maintain a relationship with. It’s so fucking hard to do that with people who have Sun conjunct Venus man. They can probably commit a crime and people will be like “I understand”. Crazy! People with this aspect can be celebrities and have people worship them for their identity/personality. Like Lisa Manoban (Blackpink), Tyla Seethal, Robert Downey, Dylan O' Brien, etc.
Capricorn Sun & Rising individuals have this aura about them where you got to respect them. They give off this persona of self-confidence. My cancer ass only wishes, lol. These individuals are usually the ones people be like “She comes off as bitchy” or “He must be a fuck boy”. You know how Gemini’s have this dual personality shit, and people know to stay away bc their behavior screams fake. Well, the thing is, that’s how you can describe a Capricorns appearance. They come off as cold, but when they want to, watch out for that cuteness and childlike expression. Yes, I have fallen for Capricorn risings *twice*. I also had a Capricorn friend who can pull in men that fall for her dual persona. I witnessed it first hand. She's seen as cute, but holds quite the flame.
Any planets aspecting Mars screams dominance and assertiveness. If the aspect is with the Sun then they got daddy personality, Rising then they got some manliness features or dressing sense, Mercury will be their dominant communication skill, etc. My feminine self wishes to get me some mercury conjunct Mars or MC conjunct Mars man. What a turn on. Need to stop daydreaming, lol. But seriously tho, it has Alpha effect.
#astro observations#astrology#asteroid astrology#astrology observations#astrology placements#beauty astrology#juno#psyche and eros#astrology posts#sun conjunct venus#pisces#capricorn#astro blog#astrology blog
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i've said it before, but i truly feel like a lot of the hate towards kant really comes from a place of people not understanding him and why he's handling everything the way he is. like i feel like at this point, more people understand his motivations and the fact that he's doing all of this to be able to raise babe, but i feel like the disconnect is now coming from the way he's handling it all.
and like, i understand that everyone has different interpretations, but one thing i have never been able to understand and get behind is the idea that kant, at any point, didn't feel anything for bison. we see before kant gets blackmailed by christ, before he is told that bison is an assassin and he needs to get close, that kant clearly felt something real on his and bison's first night together. you can make the argument about it just being because they had really good sex, and i'm not saying that wasn't part of it, but the thing is that when kant is laying there, daydreaming about bison with that silly smile on his face, he's not thinking about just the sex. yes, we get a shot of that too in his little daydream, but we also just get bison at the bowling alley. and kant tells style that bison didn't stick around as if he's disappointed, and again, sure, you can make the argument that he just wanted to make a fuck buddy out of bison or something like that, but style is teasing him about it in the same way a friend teases you about a crush - and style knows kant and his fuck boy ways better than anyone, so it's obvious this isn't just the way kant acts when he has good sex with someone.
but then captain christ calls. and kant is given this job that he has to do. this isn't an option, he doesn't have a choice here. it's do this job for captain or he brings back his car theft charges and he looses custody of babe. you can argue about his tactic in getting close, sure, but the truth is i don't think kant trying to be bison's friend would have even worked, nor would it have likely made much sense because they had already slept together.
and again, i've said it before, but a lot of the reason that kant was able to be convincing with everything in the beginning is because while sure, he was definitely playing things up, he also did always have a real interest in bison. kant isn't a good liar. we've been shown this time and time again, not just with bison, but with fadel and even with style. if kant hadn't had any interest in bison to begin with, he wouldn't have been able to fake it so easily. there's just no way to me that he didn't have some amount of interest from the beginning.
his interest has always been real. the problem has always come in with the fact that kant knows it can't be.
and i think in the beginning, it was easy for him to justify it, to brush it off. to tell himself "it was just good sex" or "it's just a crush" because as much as it may be real, kant needs to to be a lie. he needs to be faking it, be lying through his teeth, because none of this is real! he can't approach bison in a way he otherwise may, he has to be over the top. he can't win bison's heart naturally, he has to wiggle his way in, he has to lie and cheat and manipulate, he has to pay off his friends to help him and drug him to get information. it can't be real because even if it is, he has to do these things anyways. even if it's real, he won't get to keep him in the end. it's either bison gets locked up or kant does, and if he's the one in the cell, then there's no one to take care of babe.
so of course kant pushes away and ignores every bit of feelings he has until he can't anymore. of course he ignores the way he redraws bison's cat tattoo for him when he doesn't have to. he ignores the fact that maybe he does actually like it when bison hits him, that maybe they are the perfect match. he ignores the little kiss he gives bison despite him being totally out of it. he ignores the note he has in his phone of all the things bison likes, the things he dislikes.
until he's sat in bison's room and he sees pictures of the northern lights and thinks "he has dreams, just like babe does."
until bison calls him his boyfriend and he giggles like a teenager with a crush.
until he's in the shower and can't stop thinking about bison giving him his heart and the way he doesn't deserve it.
until style calls him on it, tells him what he already knows but can't be true, that bison has him wrapped around his finger.
until bison is telling him he loves every story on his body. until bison is kissing his way up his skin like he's something beautiful and precious but he's not. because bison says he loves the parts of him he thinks are ugly. but would he still if he knew? would he still look at kant with all that love, all that vulnerability, if he knew it was built on a false start? would he still find those parts beautiful, too?
of course kant doesn't think so. of course he has no reason to believe bison would forgive him. how can he expect that when he can't even forgive himself?
so it's better, isn't it, to just get it all over with? to do what he needs to and try to live with himself once it's all over? to let himself love bison for just one night because he'll lose him either way after that, won't he?
that's what it is, for kant. he can't keep bison. no matter how much he wants to. no matter how real any of it is.
#of course kant has an 'i gotta do what i gotta do' attitude. he doesn't have any other options#and he hates that more than anyone else#this got away from me but like. of course he ignored it. of course he didn't want to feel any of it#of course he's trying to get it over with#god it kills me fr#the heart killers#kant pattanawat#my analysis#mine
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Reminds me of when there was a whole debate over whether D&D was a "story game" -- the debate was *actually* about "what is a Story Game?", was it (expansive) a game that can be used to tell a story, or (limited) a game that has specificly story-based rules.
I prefer the more limited definitions because you can tell a story with any game -- including risk, monopoly and badminton -- to the point where it would be immensely difficult to make a game that can't be used to tell a story, just like it would be pretty difficult to make an rpg that *cannot* be used to tell queer narratives with queer characters, if the players are so inclined.
The "problem" with this for the D&D crowd is that D&D5E doesn't particularly want to be anything other than profitable, which means it can't be a Thing in the way that, say, Dungeon Bitches is. It can't focus, it can't be a Queer game because then the bigots won't buy it, it can't be a Straight game because a lot of players are queer, it can't be a tactical combat game because then the people who don't like tactical combat won't buy it, it can't be a story game because then they can't sell minis. So it isn't anything, and so people have to describe it in terms of what it doesn't *stop* you from doing, and in that specific sense it is a queer game but also so is ice hockey.
Which is to say, you can definitely*run* a Queer Campaign with D&D, but that doesn't make it a queer *game*.
D&D is the Taylor Swift of TTRPGs by which I mean it's something with broad mainstream appeal and name recognition and also there are people out there who pretend it's gay
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Share our @s so we can be bullied in our inboxes till kingdom come and be ostracized by you lot? No, thank you. I'm a Jikooker too and I've seen it happen to other Jikookers too many times just because their view of Jikook isn't "they are 100% together and practically married and monogamous towards each other for more than 10 years now"
Unfortunately this space has become too cult-like where one just can't have a slightly differing opinion about Jimin and Jungkook's relationship or express how they personally truly observe it without Jikookers losing their minds or accusing them of things, the way you guys are doing right now.
There's literally no difference between this community and the Taekooker community anymore - I've seen that crazy side turn on their own just because they had the audacity to point out the ITS talk made sense to them because for a while prior to that even they felt things weren't the same between Taekook anymore. And now it's Jikookers doing the same to other Jikookers🤦🏻♀
People can believe that Jikook is real while still pointing out the things they feel contradict that belief, or they can believe they were together and no longer are but still think they are special to each other, or they can believe they aren't together in what one would consider the "conventional, traditional" sense.
Taekook can never be real. That is a ship that has no real substance and was literally formed on aesthetics and vibes and had a whole false narrative attached to it that became lore over the years. A lot of people say just Jikook's existence alone cancels out Taekook, but I think even if Jimin and Jung kook didn't have the kind of dynamic they have and/or they didn't exist as a duo, Taekook still wouldn't be real. Please there's fuckall there.
I am someone who believes there's something more than platonic between Jimin and Jungkook and that Jungkook is deeply in love with Jimin, but still I agree with everything the last anon's(s') said. They *are* different from how they were before and the last few years make it hard to believe in the kind of image of them that Jikook shippers have painted for years.
We are Jikookers, we are here, we exist. Accusing us of being Taekookers won't make that shit true. We don't have to be a monolith.
First thing's first - YOU may not be a taekooker in disguise, but the other anon most likely was. And most with dumb takes are as they have a knack of using the SAME rhetoric and examples every single time, not to mention, always managing to slip in Tae somehow. Let's get that out of the way.
Now, here's the thing, anon.
I understand completely, the feelings of confusion and second-guessing whether jikook are really together or not. I have been there before, on multiple occasions. There were things in the past as it happened that made me doubt whether my suspicions about the true nature of their relationship was right. I get it.
So don't go putting words into my mouth and think that you can assume 'what kind of jikooker' I am.
Cause like I've said on multiple occasions now, I did not start out in the ARMY fandom space either as a jikooker or as a shipper. I had no clue what shipping was. And til this day, I remain an ARMY supporting all of our boys as a group before any sort of shipping enters my mind. Whenever I watch BTS content, jikook as a couple is never at the forefront of my mind. I watch them as a part of Bangtan.
There are certain moments that jikookers put on a pedestal as concrete 'proof' of a relationship, that I side-eye and hence, make no post or comment on because it does not make sense.
If tomorrow, Jimin and Jungkook were to announce they were both dating other people, I would still be happy for them because before anything, I want them to be happy. If that's with other people, so be it.
So I know me and how I perceive Jimin and Jungkook's relationship. I trust my objectivity of their relationship over yours, thank you.
Now to what you have accused most in this community of...I have honestly yet to see to the extent that you have indicated. Harassing? Bullying? Cult-like? Well, I've got news for you. You're in the wrong side of town, deary. And people who go looking there, clearly want to find what they're looking for. (toxicity, by the way)
And the way you spoke of taekookers and knowing how they behave and treat each other?...Honey, the 'normal' jikooker would NEVER EVER find themselves anywhere near taekooker spaces willingly. But you have apparently. That says a lot.
You're looking for trouble. You're going to find it.
Also...my sympathy for you lessened when you compared jikookers to the cult. Because the last time I checked, jikookers didn't go around literally harassing Tae's and JK's FAMILIES AND FRIENDS in real frigging life. So miss me with that similarity nonsense. Point out all you want about SOME jikookers not being able to handle different takes of others all you want, that's fair. I'm sure there may be the immature ones like that in this community, I'm not denying it. I assure you, they're in the minority. But the minute you go comparing any shipping community's behaviour to THAT CULT...it clearly shows loose objectivity.
So with my sincerest heart, I would advise you to change your space. You're clearly in toxic spaces, jikook and taekook-wise. This is bound to influence how you view not only jikook but more importantly, the jikook community.
There is a reason why I don't answer or comment on toxic asks. It's because it brings negativity to the jikook space. And I don't want that. I have found myself probably treading on that territory these days with this discourse. But I'll work it out to bring back the space to positivity and just focusing on Jimin and Jungkook.
Anyway, the final thing I'm going to bring up is that you all keep speaking about Jungkook and Jimin's relationship changing with no actual evidence. You all simply point out things happening now but fail to actually show a proper comparison to the past to highlight the 'CHANGE'. That's not how that works.
For instance, I can say their relationship changed in that Jungkook became a lot bolder with JImin publicly as opposed to years ago. He actively flirts with Jimin on stage when, for instance, during the Red Bullet Tour (back in 2014-2015), he didn't. Jimin did. See how easy that is? Comparison.
If you have any sound comparisons...with proper context, by all means, share. I'm up to hearing it.
PS. This does not include "they don't see each other as much" because we are not privy to how much they actually saw each other back then nor how much they did in 2022/2023.
Anyway, that's all from me. Peace!
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OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN . . . single dad! meian + f!reader
DELETE DELETE DELETE
✮⋆˙ notes/CWs - suggestive, 17+ to read, language, meian is insanely flirty, formatted differently than my usual so lmk if we like it! I probably won't stick to it but I like it in this instance :), not proofread bc I'm lazy sorry, dedicated to the wonderful, amazing, best friend forever @nekozaki who truly outdid herself for my secret santa gift so I'm here returning the favor!! you're amazing ellie thank you for being such a wonderful person and writer, I hope you enjoy <33
Re: today is awful From: Meian Shūgo I can make your day 10 times better if you come over tonight ;)
The woman stared down at the email with baited breath, held it so long she thought she might get dizzy. Until finally a strangled breath passed her lips, filled her lungs before she swallowed harshly. Over and over, she read the sentence; over and over until her heart surged to her throat with her cheeks hot.
He sent that to her work email.
A cheeky habit the pair had, emailing each other. A nice surprise to see kind, often silly emails, throughout the day - sometimes he sent pictures from practice, but more often than not he sent terrible dad jokes - so she always replied. Normally, she would send an update about her day, and he would always reply with an endearing message back. But today was different, today was spicy; Meian had a fire underneath him and didn't mind the consequences.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she swiped away from the email; torn between wanting to smile and wanting to tear him apart for sending something like that. Her fingers were quick to find his contact and hit call, and she decided to draw and quarter him the moment he picked up.
The man was at practice around this time, and she knew he had slinked himself away just to answer - which only made her more riled. He answered because he knew what the call was about, no doubt.
“You got my email, didn't you?” A coy question that made her stomach drop and twist in knots; the man had the unique affinity of leaving her breathless. “You miss me that much, sweetheart?” His voice was laced with a faux sense of sympathy, a teasing aura muddled behind a true care and compassion for the woman.
“You can't send shit like that through a work email, Meian!” A hushed tone as she put force behind the man's name, which only made a chuckle sound from the other end of the line. “Oh yeah, laugh it up, those emails are screened by the way. Let's not forget I work at a school.”
“It wasn't even that bad,” he reasoned. “So put the family name away, I could've sent a lot worse.”
“I bet you could've, jackass,” she rolled her eyes at his brashness. Her eyes flickered up to the closed door of her classroom, then to the clock on the back end of the wall. At least he knew the times when people weren't in her classroom, that was the only redeeming arc of it all. “Not the point though. Use your brain before you send an email like that again. Think to yourself: is this helpful, is this kind, will it get flagged by my girlfriend's work because I don't know how to contain myself?”
Another chuckle, and she let out a loud groan. “Pretty hot when you use that tone with me,” he chided, she could practically hear him smirking through the line. “You should use it when-”
“Dear god, don't finish that sentence right now.” She closed her eyes and groaned once more, and the twinge of exhaustion that settled upon her was apparent even over the phone. He frowned once the tone had shifted, although she couldn't see it.
“Alright, alright, I'm sorry.” Spoken genuinely, with a small breath, before she heard him smile again. “‘Love you.”
There was a small pause, one she could’ve excused as poor signal, but didn’t as she took a sharp inhale. The pair had just recently shared the intimacy of such words of adoration, pouring their hearts out on a drunken escapade that spilled over into the next day, and the day after that. The freshness of the statement still made her stomach fill with butterflies and her cheeks hot; for once, she was glad he wasn’t around to see just how flustered he made her.
“I love you, too.”
She heard him hum just before the loud bang of a door swinging open on his end rang through. “I’ve been found,” he chuckled, “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”
“Have fun at practice, Shū.” Instead of his own voice ringing through; however, another took its place. Farther back from the phone, as if they were in front of the man she wished to speak to, and loud - obnoxious.
“Holy fuck is that your girlfriend? Let me talk to her!”
The click of the call ending was loud, and she only chuckled when she took the phone from her ear.
3 new notifications from Shū ❤️🏐 never said I wouldn't text you though [image attachment] you should still come over 😏 I can make you forget all about your bad day
taglist (open, send an ask)
@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses
@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks
@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @mollyrolls @standcom
@jadeoru @hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches
@knightofwands-upright @angelichwv @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @arusio
#hq x reader#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu smau#meian shugo x reader#meian x reader#hq meian#meian shugo#haikyuu x reader#hq smau#series: oh captain my captain
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|Normalise actually motivating shifters who struggle with their minds|
I'm actually sick of some of these "harsh motivations" on social medias, because a lot of them are straight up nothing else but insults and shameful words. It only does the opposite instead of motivation, because some of them doesn't even give context or explaining.
You don't need to scold them now srs, like the fuck? Harsh motivation can only be truth, there's no need for degrading words, only truth itself can hurt enough already. That's what harsh motivation is. Some people are still stuck on misinformations and just don't know or understand everything about shifting yet. There's nothing wrong with that, because they're still expanding their knowledge and changing their beliefs. We've all been there, and even us are still learning about new things everyday and we're still letting go of everything that doesn't do us any good anymore. Have some understanding towards those who are still growing.
You can't call someone stupid and say "It's all your fault you're experiencing what you don't want now! You choosed this life here before entering this vessel!" It does not make you look superior or cool, you just sound like a deranged maniac and nothing more than lunatic. While there's some truth to example I gave and I can see the reason why would someone say that to someone, you should still explain the reason why you said that and maybe give an example to support it, because it also didn't made any sense to me when I heard it for first time and first thing that popped on my mind was "Why the fuck would anybody choose this kind of life? I'm not that dumb." Because I wasn't deeply educated in shifting, spirituality, manifestation, void state/pure awareness and ego back then. I still thought this is my original/first reality and that I'm here against my own will, overall I still had a limiting mindset.
Instead of directly spitting in someone's face with this kind of "harsh motivation", why can't you say something like: "Both positive and negative assumptions are delusional thoughts that shape your own reality if you're convinced in them. One isn't more delusional than the other and one isn't more true than the other because they're both form of assumptions without any proof. And law of assumption proposes that our beliefs and expectations influence the world around us that can be both negative and positive." Simple as that.
For example, Iused to think like: "I feel like shit everyday for years straight, this is getting worse everyday and I won't get to nowhere. I'll fall apart completely in the future." Did I continue feeling like shit with that mindset? Yes I did. Why did I felt like shit? Because I kept beating my own ass up with constant self hatred and I kept listening to everyone else around me who are clearly trying to make me feel worse for their own self satisfaction and I believed their own beliefs because I let the fear eat me and I thought everyone else is better than me.
So, when I realized I'm miserable because I kept adding the fuel to misery, I cutted off that kind of mindset. Because others assumptions about me don't defy who I truly am and what I'll become actually, since they don't even know me personally, they can't decide for me either who I'll be and that's only version of me from their perspective/imagination. Did I stop feeling like shit everyday after thinking like this instead? Yes I did. Everyone creates reality for their own selves with their beliefs and views, someone's personal truth isn't ours unless we believe that it's true in the first place.
The reason everything is now the way it is, is because of patterns from our past experiences/lives which we didn't change before shifting in this place. That's why they seem familiar/repetitive, that's why you already know things without reading or hearing confirmation for them, that's why you recognise someone you just met from somewhere you don't even remember, it's all from past experiences. The reason we don't remember none of them is because we aren't tied to one reality/temporary life and we're supposed to explore our imagination and all infinite possibilities. We can't shift permanently to other reality with memories from previous ones because it doesn't match or align with the new reality, at least not if they're drastically different.
You don't need to suffocate people from this community with toxic positivity or insult them. Don't even try to motivate or teach others something if you won't even tell them what they actually need. No you don't need to motivate or teach anybody it's not your job, nobody said you should do it, but if you want to do it and choosed to, do it properly at least. I'm not telling you to baby them or cuddle them, just stop being a dick and get to the straight point.
#shiftblr#shifters#shiftinconsciousness#shiftingrealities#reality shifting#desired reality#manifesting#universe#void state#awareness#spiritual awakening#spirituality#loa tumblr#law of assumption#law of manifestation#harsh motivation#shifting antis dni#shifting motivation#motivation
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Long awaited
The party makes it to Bambouche. Family reunion time.
It's time.
Your group decided to do the last dozen meters by foot to not attract too much attention.
You all stand back, allow Bonnie to go ahead, give the siblings some degree of privacy. You even try to stay out of sight of other people to not cause any stirring on a village.
You watch Bonnie run to the front of a house of modest size, and knock. You see a young woman open the door, an anxious look in her eyes.
It's a bit too far to know what's being said, but you watch her expression change in less then ten seconds. You se her eyes widen in disbelief, then realisation, then relief as they fill with tears. You see Bonnie grin ear to ear and open their arms offering a hug, and she doesn't only accept, but picks then up as easily as if they were a baby, but tightly, bending over then like a shielding attempt, even if now they're safer then ever. You don't blame her.
She doesn't let go any time soon, she sits on the steps in front of the house, Bonnie on her lap, both you them with tears treaming down their cheeks, with Bonnie putting more effort on wiping hers than their own. People come to look, but don't step too close. This is their moment.
They're speaking, you can't get what exactly, but you do see Nille check on them in that way caretakers check if anything's hurt, still taking breaks to hug them again.
Then, you see Bonnie let one arm go, and extend to where your group is, and... move their fingers... telling you to join...
You hesitate, and they pout.
"JUST COME!!"
Oh!
It's not as faster or eager a process. It's kind of awkward, to approach such an intimate moment. Nille was a big lady, but still young, maybe younger than Mira. You already had a lot of respect for the lady, but now even more. You can barely grasp being responsable for someone else as is. Just the thought of being it alone, and at your youngers years...
She smiles at all of you, her eyes still full of tears.
"Thank you, for keeping them safe when I couldn't."
Mirabelle gave her a gentle smile, her fingers intertwined.
"We would never forgive ourselves if we didn't."
You know that very well, don't you?
Being thankful is one thing, traveling with her sibling with a group of people she doesn't know is another. That she asked for time with her sibling before making any big decisions is not only very reasonable, but reason to be glad.
It's autumn, not the favorite time for beach activities, even early autmn, but, it's still a beach, and you all will have to wait anyway. There's no reason to not try and enjoy a little bit. It's the reasoning Mira gives. The nervousness in her gaze makes clear what that's really about.
"... Dormont is nowhere near a beach too, so I never learned to surf. Why not when there isn't a lot of people also trying to learn to compare mys- ahn, filling the place?"
You won't comment if she doesn't.
"The House gives surf classes too. I'm not even surprised at his point."
"Oh! You... saw classes in the loops, Siffrin?"
You, haven't talked about that before?
Makes sense, actually. It's not like you could talk while flying, too much wind.
"Well, I can use some time to catch up on books. And you two, anything in mind?"
You can see how Odile looks at Isa just a little bit longer.
You get the feeling that there's some teasing there.
"Of course I do. I just don't want to tell now."
Oof! Blunt! Where did this Isa come from? He sounds cool! And it looks like Odile wasn't expecting that either.
"Of course... How about you, Siffrin?"
"I'll just go with the ride for now."
"Can you come with me for some surfing lessons, then?"
OH!
"Y-yes of course!"
Mira nodded along your response, more serious than you feel like would be due for something so simple.
Did you do something wrong? Did she offer out of politeness? But, would be awkward to pull back now?
You didn't pull back either way.
You think she got nervous before the time came. A talk was pushed back to when she's done with the first lesson. The swimsuit is cute and modest. Fits her.
You enjoy watching her. You do. She has such a determined look on her face.
You watch a larger wave approach, and break, trowing foam all over the people on the shallower areas.
And...
A small, eel-like form emerged from the thick layer of foam, small wings flapping and sending drops in all directions.
Bonbon! You regornizes, even in slightly different shades! Clothes influence the shades?
And then, another form emerges, clawed paws raised. You- You only see the form for a moment, before it wraps around Bonbon and pulls them back into the water, but you can still tell it's Pétronille!
You see her whip to the surface, and throw Bonbon with her tail. They don't try to fly, they hit the water nose first. The movement repeats, then the two stay underwater again. In one, you see Bonbon paddling, trying to get out of Nille's literal claws before going down again, then emerging, flying higher, then by the water again. You watch them boop noses with Nille before all but shoving their tiny body into her arms.
You stand on the sand, and watch. Nille dragging and throwing Bonbon, in a way that reminds you of a lonely dog playing with a toy, but not as rough as one. You know, if they could, they would be laughting.
That first moment was weeping. This one is playful.
And you got to see both.
You'll never forget either.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat fanfic#in stars and time fanfic#isat au#in stars and time au#Draconic Vaugarde AU
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Verosika looked up at Adam, who stormed into the kitchen. She was halfway through making their drinks.
Verosika: Damn, babe. I know you're impatient, but you couldn't wait a few more minutes- hey, what's wrong?
Adam wanted to smash something, he hasn't felt so frustrated since he was in Heaven.
Adam: That bastard- comes into my home, tries to FUCK me in MY hot tub, block me from leaving- AND then go on a rant that I'M not worth apologizing to?! After ten thousand years of bullshit- he thinks he's the fucking victim?! Fuck him!
Verosika stares at Adam before quickly putting the alcohol bottles down and going to his side.
Verosika: Uh- okay, Ad. Breathe for me, yeah? You're not making any sense.
Adam dropped himself down on one of the stools at his kitchen island and put his head in his hands. He could feel his eyes filling with tears.
Adam: I-I can't do it, Ver. I fucking- can't. T-This is my home-! And h-he just waltz in like he owns the place, like he can TAKE me because I'm a fucking sex demon!
Verosika: Wait- Steve?!
Adam: Hs sucks to! N-No, it's fucking Lucifer...
Verosika sighs. She's heard Adam rant a lot about the king, but she really didn't expect him to show up here.
Verosika: How does he even know where you live?
Adam: I don't know! Cause he's a freak and won't leave me alone! He fucking hates me! So I don't get why he won't just... leave me alone.
Adam rubs his face, and lies his head down on his bench.
Adam: I'm so over people using me. And just- fucking me because of what I am... I like sex- a-and I need it, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck everyone I look at! I have standards! Steve is just... I need him, so... I-I have to... Lucifer meant too much to me... he was literally my everything... now he's just... I wish I had never met him. If he was just going to hurt me, I wish he never talked to me- or looked at me.
Verosika hugged Adam as he started crying. He instantly wrapped his arms around her.
Adam: I-I can't stop him- h-he's the fucking Devil- I can't even protect myself from Steve!
Verosika: Oh darling... maybe you should talk to Ozzie-.
Adam: He's too busy for someone like me... who gives a fuck-.
Verosika: Hey! I give a fuck about you! And so does Ozzie! He gives a fuck about all of us, alright?
Adam sniffs, and leans into her: W-What could he do...?
Verosika: He's very respected by Lucifer. He can go and chew him out. And not in the sexy way.
Adam chuckles: O-Okay... maybe...
Verosika: Think about it, babe. I can get you a meeting.
Adam: You'd do that?
Verosika: Of cause, babe. I hate seeing you like this... when I found you, you weren't so... closed up. Let me help you, Adam. Please.
Adam was silent for a moment before lightning his hold on Verosika.
He eventually nods: I-I want you to manage me... if I can't get away from Lucifer, I want to at least get away from Steve... I want-.
Verosika: To fuck whoever you want~?
Adam laughs: Yeah, exactly.
-
Lucifer watched Adam walk away. How do his attempts at sex always turn into an argument?
Sighing, he teleports, but to his room at the hotel, he must be really losing his touch if even a sex demon is turning him down.
But then again, that sex demon is Adam. So, what did he really expect?
Lucifer paced around his room. He wanted to feel something other than anger for Adam but he was really struggling.
Lucifer: Why does he need an apology?! After everything he did?! H-He's worse than me! And I'm the fucking Devil!
He continued to yell, and he may have thrown a few ducks around. But what made him snap out of it was a knock to his door.
Angel: Yo, short king! You alright in there?
He swore he recognized that voice, but he couldn't put a face to it. It definitely wasn't the deer bastard, so against his better judgement, he opened his door.
Lucifer: Oh! Angel...a?
Angel laughed: Just Angel. Sounds like you're fighting some demons. Need someone to talk to?
Lucifer thought about it for a moment, he doesn't know Angel, and Angel didn't know him. Maybe this is the perfect time to get am outsiders opinion.
He invited Angel in, and they shared a drink together.
Lucifer: And then he wants ME to apologize! Me! After all he's done?!
Angel took a sip of his drink: Sounds like you're both fucked up, and can't look past your own shit and look at the bigger picture.
Lucifer : ...huh?
Angel: Alright. Let's start with you. You didn't like what Heaven was doing to the first humans, so you did something about it. But, it's a bit weird you only gave the apple to the puss you were fucking, and you know... not the other guy.
Lucifer: I... he... in Eden, Adam was so... content with everything, he was happy-.
Angel: Of cause he was happy. Heaven made him that way. Remember? The humans were basically puppets, being controlled by Heaven? Your words, short king.
Lucifer: Well... yes, but-.
Angel: So, Adam was happy, and Lilith wasn't?
Lucifer: Yeah! She... she was still being influenced by Heaven, but she wanted the apple... she wanted me.
Angel: You still didn't offer it to Adam.
Lucifer: No- but I did! And he took it!
Angel: After you and Lilith were banished to Earth. He was alone until they made Eve. Come on, Lu. Surely even you could tell he was desperate not to be alone again.
Lucifer: I... I guess...
Angel: But, you found love. You did what you thought was right. The issue with pride is that you fail to see the bigger picture. You only see what you want to see. You were so fixated on Lilith that you didn't see Adam suffering. He was new, Lu. Under Heavens control or whatever you said. You know how much Lilith leaving affected you, now try and imagine it from Adam's perspective.
Lucifer sat and did what Angel said. He sighed.
Angel: You guys both only have two sides of one story, Adam has his, while you have yours and Lilith's. That's still two against one, babe.
Lucifer: I... he showed me his memories... Lilith lied... about everything-.
Angel: And you STILL blame Adam?! Shit, man... I think you've really fucked up that one.
Lucifer: B-But the exterminations! The abuse he'd throw around at meetings! The- The failed extermination! He tried to kill Charlie!
Angel: One word short king. Puppet.
Succubus au
@beef-brisket
@fanofstuff01
(This au was originally on @things-aren't-what-they-seem66blog and was originally thought of by an anonymous ask)
The roaring of the crowd and the playing of his guitar deafened his ears but the incubus didn't care. He loved the way they cheered his name while he shredded on his axe. With one final strum, his song was done. He raised his arms and gave the horns, to which his fans reciprocated, and bid them all goodnight. He walked away his hands still raised until he was out of sight from them. Adam sighed heavily and wiped the sweat with his forearm as he made his way to his dressing room.
Once there he flopped onto the couch and groaned. Though Adam loved being a rockstar and having adoring fans, he wouldn't lie to himself, each performance, especially concerts, can be quite draining since he always had to prepare with mic checks and making sure he sounded right. Steve, his producer/manager/on-and-off-again fling, always assured him that these were mandatory. Just one of those sacrifices that come with being a star. Still, Adam felt a little like shit and he needed a drink, a hard one. Unfortunately, his evening wasn't quite over yet as knocking was heard from the other side of the door then a voice called out.
Assistant: Excuse me? Commander? I'm sorry for bothering you but I brought the VIP guests here with me.
Adam sighed completely forgetting about that. Almost all VIPs get access to meet him after every show. Though he loved his fans coming to him and saying how much they loved him, maybe even getting some head from the older crowd, tonight, he didn't want to. However, he knew that he didn't have much of a choice. Unless he wanted Steve up his ass, and not in a good way. Letting out a long groan he sat up, rubbed his eyes, and yelled out to her.
Adam: Bring them in.
He closed his eyes and sighed once again as he heard the door open and feet shuffle in. He prepared himself for the immediate responses of squealing and clamoring over to shake his hand. However, he was not prepared for a familiar voice to call out his name.
Charlie: A, Adam?
He opened his eyes and standing in front of him were Charlie, Vaggie, and a one-eyed sinner.
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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ワンルームエンジェル 第1・2話 one room angel - ep. 1&2
#just started watching this so i'm mad i juuust missed ep2 release on tver and now can't find a quality source for it sorry for this trash#a harada manga getting a live action... who would've ever thought. luckily i don't remember what happens in this one so it's a surprise#at least i feel like i remember this one being way less f'd up than the others so it's prob a good one to do a live action on haha#one room angel#jdrama#i'm happy i don't really remember what happens in this one but regardless it is harada so i'm guessing it won't be for everyone#but for people interested in Different stories with Different characters it's likely gonna be a refreshing one. a lot of moral greyness#this angel typing away on a smartphone and saying チン毛 like it's nothing... yeah that ep 3 reveal makes a lot of sense haha#i like how the dialogue is rly harada-esquely just Saying Shit so it's prob staying pretty close to the manga i think#honestly i just wanted to gif this mfer basically motorboating the wings hahahaa#but i don't have the ep in 1080p aaaaaaaaaaa so it looks like crap but it is what it is#mine
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That post about guilt and shame only being effective as deterrents but not in inspiring anyone to change their behavior in any meaningful way got me thinking about those other posts about progressive circles consisting way too much of people not with a desire to do something right but instead with a fear of doing something wrong, and...
Yeah. Those two are related. Guilt and shame are the weapons of the status quo, designed to instill in everyone with a conscience a fear of failure, of hurting others, of being a bad person. And it's pretty fucked up when people are being shamed for that, since, well, shame doesn't inspire any meaningful change. So the problem persists, deepens, even. Since by shaming someone for not getting over that shame, you've now discouraged them from thinking about that instilled shame and maybe finding a solution.
It's shame and guilt all the way down. Perhaps shame and guilt could be used against people who tend to shame and guilt others in order to shame and guilt them out of shaming and guilting others? I don't know. And that's a true shame.
#random thought of the day#shame#guilt#toxic guilt#yeah it's a pickle#i kinda feel this way of thinking is deeply ingrained in the modern hyperindividualistic worldview#which ignores everything we know about humans as a social species shaped by our social circumstances#in favor of this very catholic guilt inspired 'stop being naughty' mindset that whips people into obedience never into self-actualization#as i wrote in the tags of the other post frustration is one of the most dangerous feelings since shaming and guilting starts there#if you look at the world around you and think you see the problem and the solution but others won't listen to you#it's natural to feel frustrated#the desire to shame and guilt others in a twisted way try to make them spring into action seems like a natural response#but it's stupid and wrong#shame and guilt are primarily ways to make yourself feel good in the moment to stroke that sense of superiority#i look back at how i was raised and i understand that a lot of the hesitancy and self-doubt and other paralyzing feelings are guilt#if you were raised to always doubt yourself always assume that you're in the wrong always take others at their word#you were raised to be a perfect victim#it's really hard to push through that and the metacognitive capabilities one must have to monitor all of that are staggering#meanwhile people who were raised through inspiration and motivation can be immune to guilt and shame#so what are we even doing here why is it so easy to fall back on a method that at best has little effect at worst increases the problems#there is a lot to say about this and i wish i had an answer but alas
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It's actually quite curious that I've never found a sskk fic where Atsushi was jealous of the attentions Akutagwa gives Dazai
IMHO, I think it’s bc jealousy like that would mean Atsushi wanted Akutagawa to feel about him the way Akutagawa feels about Dazai, and I don’t think that’s the kind of connection Atsushi would envy anyone having with anyone
That's... A very good point
#I didn't think about it. It makes a lot of sense#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#osamu dazai#bsd#people asks me stuff#Like one possible counterpoint I can think is that jealousy is irrational and wouldn't look at the nature of the attention–#beyond the simple fact that such attention direct to another person exists#But then again I hate jealousy tropes in general so it's really not an issue with me pfftt#It's just that. In t/pn I used to hate them because it didn't make any sense.#All the characters grew up with 30+ siblings you CAN'T grow up to be a jealous person when you were raised in that environment#Besides to me jealousy is inherently toxic and... t/pn ships aren't toxic. The slightest.#Like yeah nothing is perfectly pure everything is problematic etc etc but t/pn sure goes as close as being pure as you can get#But ss/kk IS toxic. Or at least a big component of it is. So I guess... It might happen?#But really I don't like the trope either way so I won't dwell on it further.#It was just a random thought and Anon is making a good counterpoint
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@cffidelityy continued from here
Loki has always tended towards jealousy. Whether by nature or by virtue of being the younger, less-favoured, son is unclear, but what is clear is that being married has somehow only made his possessiveness worse. Not that he ever believes Sigyn would be unfaithful – he knows the thought would never so much as cross his wife’s mind – but the god has been falling in love with her since the night of their wedding ( – slowly at first, now it’s like a damn avalanche – ) and is increasingly determined to hoard her affections and attentions for the rest of their lives.
Weight shifts from one foot to the other, torso still pressed against hers within the alcove the trickster had tugged them into before speaking. “Mine,” he agrees with another growl, head dipping to press his mouth to hers in a demanding kiss, uncaring about the blood from his split lip painting her lips too. Sigyn knows she is his, just as Loki is hers, but from the way Fandral had been staring at her all evening, it seems he had needed reminding. A split lip is a worthwhile price to pay for the sight of a bloodied nose and black eye on the swordsman’s face.
#loki basically went out and punched fandral for staring at her too much#he wouldn't like anyone doing it but with fandral being *fandral* that made it a lot worse#obviously fandral punched back but i think loki won that small fight before thor came and broke it up#blood tw#injury tw#cffidelityy#v: i'm no sweet dream but i'm a hell of a night#also just to make it clear he is not blaming sigyn for this in any way and would never control who she talks to#he just won't take other people doing that kind of thing to her#if that makes sense#scheduled :)
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Nimoma has good emotional payoff and animation but nothing else to really write home about TBH
It's very SPOP in that way, where the arcs and scenes are solid when viewed outside of the media in gifset or clip form but don't work as well when actually watching what they're from
For sure! I think that's a problem she-ra and toh both share with Nimona—they struggle with setup but then go ham on the payoff, which leaves everything feeling somewhat unearned.
The end of the movie bugged me in particular—Ballister's 180 with calling Nimona a monster (something he KNOWS pushes her to the brink) after one conversation with his ex-boyfriend was...I think out of place?
Normally if you have a character make a wrong choice like that you, as the audience, would be questioning the whole movie if they had ever REALLY changed. Was Ballister's loyalty truly to Nimona or to the Institute/Goldenloin? But, by that point in the movie they had really sold me on Ballister's complete acceptance of Nimona and disregard of the institute, so....why would he turn on Nimona then? I'm surprised they didn't do this plot the other way, which would instead have only made it seem like Ballister betrayed Nimona, you know? Like they did in Tangled. That way you don't undo Ballister's movie long arc with one scene, but you can still have Nimona go berserk and make her way into the heart of the city.
There were also a couple of other things that felt kinda dropped by the end. Ballister being the first commoner to become a knight? The Queen's important role in this society? This kingdom's prejudice going SO deep that not even a child would give Nimona a chance after saving their life, yet blowing up the wall changed everyone's minds in the end?
There were a lot of good pieces, but they weren't quite put together in the right ways.
#I think a lot of my dislike of the movie might have been just differences in taste#That movie was NOT my sense of humor and I disliked how they handled some things#Like...it kinda bugged me how they went about Ballister's prosthetic limb I won't lie.#I also don't know if Nimona ''not wanting to be a monster'' yet also wanting to cause so much destruction around her worked for me#Or at least not the way it was done#Like. I'm ALL for a character that wants to hurt others because of the way they've been hurt. That's based.#But that's not...really what they did? Or at least I don't think so#Like she's not REALLY a villain but she did sincerely want Ballister to be.#She values life. But she also wants to murder people? She wants violence??? Idk. It was a weird mix#She's SO sad that child was scared of her but earlier she like. Completely fucks up another kid's game. For no reason.#God and Nimona being 1000 years old makes a lot of her actions kinda weird. She feels so 14 to me yet she's immortal afssf#Also just not that big a fan of the trope where it's revealed ''this ancient legend was actually kids the whole time!!!''#but I know that's just my tastes#HOWEVER. I also think it made the movie weaker in certain aspects.#Prejudice is learned. So making it feel SO ingrained into the very beings of this world's people#IDK man did not hit it's mark for me#the queer allegory was legitimately very good though. loved that#asks#shera critical#toh critical#nimona critical#I will say skimming this movie for a second time was way more enjoyable for me#maybe I was just in a bad mood yesterday sfdjklsfdjkl#I think some of my points still stand though
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