#watever im never finishing this

[visionsynth]

[xia0ming56]

Doodle!! Dump!!! (Dr strange vers. >:D)

[chrliekclly]

sneaking out to smoke n th park after dusk

i doodled this idea way earlier n th year nd never workd up th energy to finalize it so im jst posting it unfinished now lol

[pathologising]

k learning animal bodies but i sleepy n have a lot of hw okgnite.......

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

ware 2 start - at the beginning - i gess that b light - no word was - anyway bae not that far back maybe  

its not even late - yet - but fuck the day is long  - and wat the fuck is wrong w boring i ask u for a change 

this is - tho not apparent - speeking of parents - some ppl should never have children or even b allowed to b around them  - this is a watchamacallit to quote liam - a post mortem of my performance - yah 

ok i know - i start w crying onna bus on the way to madrone - im tawking streaming down my face and snot coming out no tissue   - im ok lest a bit a little maudlin since the heart attack - lets chalk it up to but theres always more to the story - wait isnt the picture that meets the i and i  - therz a rasta but that is another story 

a chill eve - im wishing someone would come perform w me - its more fun - tho there is a satisfaction to sitting down alone with an instrument and voice - didnt bring efx  - pouring heart and soul out of voice and fingers - prob the vocal performance of my life - on mic mostly and for t belting it out  and - oh yah the bus - so i “wrote “ a song - just using standard blues form and a handful of words - and fuck yah i play it - specially cuz the 3 performers in front of me had every gadget known - loopers efx drum beats - looped handclaps even - i awmost add ffs but ppl duz the best they can - maybe im jealous cuz tech hate me  - plug straight in pa my guitar  - nothing hiding the sound or mistakes - the begiining - tho envision fast - i decide to bring it on down for a minute imma john lee hooker low chill dirty blues - i even get distortion idk how but sometimes blondie my guitar is magic 

yah vita didnt make it - nbd except and thats another story and not mine to tell - fam sux sometime tho 

played hurts to liv cuz theres no guitar ego innit - i actually have solos worked out for when theres 2 guitars or at least another instrument  - finished w crash and burn cuz havent played it in long time  - missed a few chords - 1 at a time - actually i kept omitting 1 - played seamless thru the mistakes mostly i think - and sloppy vicious grunge not quite solos but noisy walls for sure  

newsflash - photo of 2 smiling teens appraised at 1 million words  and priceless 

it wuz john lennon primal during janov   - im empathing pain from everywhere lately  - thank gawdess’s green and other and grace from so many 

during parts of days - i feel it - grace good wishes hope strength and yah love  - lots of it from tumblr  theres more ppl on tumblr who really know me than in 3d but that number keeps growing  - i send same in every birdsong daily and more often 

its a different magic - completely solo  - cuz 1 exponentialed to infinity is always 1  - exponentialed should b a wurd btw imo 

i could hear the ppl tawking while i wuz playing - during the quiet parts - it didnt bother me might even have inspired just a bit - and we all do it and dont mean - a word exchanged - a hi turns into conversation - sometimes about how much we like a performer  - i dont take it personal 2 much anymore well maybe for a moment  

fuck its late now how the fuck that happen - late dinner endless laundry - i got to get at least fuck all done on the occasion  - thot i b in bed by 1 but u know wat they say about shit 

no imma not gonna end a poem w shit  

a fuck maybe lol u know i mean fuck yah 

no not that kind but that b ok i gess if i wuznt so tired - and the unpoet asleep and exhausted 

too fukken much tmi t ffs 

lets seee 

oh 

theres a kitty  ( again thank gawd in all her their watever manifestations at best poorly understood and yah maybe a delusion but tbh i dont have that much problem w delusions that are filled w love which the same say delusion as well if not a psychosis - or is that only romantic love  - fuck t it too late for religious speculation about  - well 

anything

t - the kitty 

ty 

she is a good one 

always 

love 

[midnightmisadventures]

Hi everyone im on tour

Did somebody say new beginning? lmaooo

Im so lucky and blessed. Currently staying in my own room in an airbnb in nashville with a bunch of people who want do what i do.

Its really so cool. Trying to take it all in

But alas....ive been so busy i havent been giving dream updates, and lemme tell you theyre INSANE

One i had erikka was asking me whats Liams sisters name? and i was like lmao which one. And to narrow it down, i was like hair color? and she said brown and i was like okay brings it to two. And then she explained some post??? And i was like okay okay its def *******

Last night Liam and i were in that dormy collegey white coursey dreamscape and we had like a minor minor disagreement? so small but went back and forth for a sec but stopped so it wouldnt escalate and we were in front of ppl. So then we split off and he texted me "hey can we talk" and it was like under the guise of talking about the little disagreement but i knew that, it would mean we were finally having our deep conversation. Like this is it.

So....im not sure actually but sometime after that or during, i saw him, by elevators and i wasnt wearing pants. And we were talking about where to meet, cause we wanted to be away from people and have a place to sit down and get into it. So we picked the place and we were about to go but i was like "uh can i put on pants first" and he was like yea lmaoo

So then i went to room, i even think we rode the elevator together which is ICONIC. But i remember it feeling awkward, nervous and flightly because we both knew the conversation we were gonna have. So even though we had positive feelings towards eachother we were silent. And i could barely look at him. We hadnt seen eachother for a while and it was just so intense. So we rode in silence till i got to my floor and went to my room.

Then in my room i was freaking out like HOLY SHIT ARIELLE WE DID IT. WE'RE FINALLY FUCKING DOING IT ITS HERE, ive never waited longer for something but i still didnt expect this and im so glad he finally initiated it and wooo. its here. So....i was trying to be quick? but doing much more than putting on pants, like i changed completely was doing my hair, singing lights on etc lol. But i finished and starting heading downstairs to meet him

But i remember it was like 248 in the morning but i didnt care cause watevs. So i guess i took long enough getting ready that liam was able to chicken out and he texted me "you know what, dont worry about it, we'll talk tomorrow, its late anyway, i'll have time to smoke b4 we talk and that will be better" listed a bunch of excuses and basically just said tomorrow

And i was like nooooooooooo. pls no plsssss, i dont remember if i sent it but i drafted a text back that was like "no liam please can we do it tonight, im already downstairs, and i feel we've been waiting to talk forever can we just do it tonight"

like my heart was shattered. But then i remember being like....it is late. And whats just one more day, its tomorrow for sure, i can wait one more day

Meanwhile the next day i dont hear from him, i keep checking my phone and i was just like :(

Thats it, but isnt that crazy symbolic. That must be exactly whats going on right now. He keeps psyching himself up then backing out last minute

[rain-line]

i had such a really sad, fucked up dream yalls

i dont remember wat happened in most of it, i just remember the ending/climax of it. even tho it was fictional i feel devastated

basically me and two friends were being chased by this really determined, wildly angry dude out for revenge. this dude was like on a strategic mind plane of zero escape or komaeda levels. so im gonna call him komaeda. one of the friends with me was some rando blondie so ill just call her kaede (bc she was sweet and very motivated n cute). the other friend,,, was literally just chihiro.

(this is p long so its under cut)

 like im only calling the villain of this dream komaeda bc of how crazy strategic n wild he was, he wasnt literally komaeda. and im calling the other friend kaede just based on looks. but this other person i was escaping with was actually just chihiro. we called them chihiro and everything. just a random dangan ronpa character for no reason lol.

we were on a high floor of a multi-storied building (like a hotel or apartment or something) and komaeda guy cornered us in a room and he sprays some sleeping gas stuff in the air so we cant run from him, like, he even sprays it within HIS own vicinity. thats how confident he was i guess he knew/was counting on that he would be the first to wake up and then he could kill kaede and chihiro (he didnt really care about me, he just wanted kaede n chihiro ded bc he felt they wronged him or watev. even tho i wasnt on his hit-list he was still dangerous so i was still scared tho and wanted to help my friends 😔 )

so kaede chihiro n komaede fall asleep bc of the sleep gas and i dont bc i held my breathe (mind blown amirite) and first thing i do is drag komaeda away into another room and try to think wat i can do with this opportunity since hes knocked out. but im weak and theres nothing i can use as a weapon to maim or kill him. (and thinking back on it, i shouldve at least tied him up to buy time but that never occured to dream me lol) the whole time while i was trying to figure out wat to do, he kept drifting in and out of the gas sleep mumbling incoherently about his plans and even trying to weakly get away from me. i just left him alone in that room and went back to the other room where kaede n chihiro were still knocked out.

i couldnt get them to wake up so i try my best to help them get away. the only other escape from the room was through the balcony. so one by one i drag and toss (GENTLY AS I CAN) their bodies from current balcony to next balcony on the floor beneath. a random gardener dude notices me and helps after quick explanation of the dire situation. having the extra manpower makes this go by way smoother and easier. we’re on the last couple floors of the building, chihiro wakes up after i move him to the next balcony. (gr8!) i climb up to the previous balcony to check to see if kaede is waking up yet and to move her to the next balcony as well, but just as i climb up both me and the rando gardener see sleepy kaede being dragged away by komaeda from a nearby vent system or watever. we’re shook.

i start to immediately climb through the vent to go after them and save her but the scenery in the building is extremely scary, like in this video exactly (probably bc i had just watched that vid for the first time about 2 nights ago). so as much as i wanted to go in and save her i was terrified. U_U 

me, gardener and chihiro try to discuss and brainstorm thingsg we could do. we weren't gonna run off to save ourselves or go look for help bc we didnt want to leave kaede  behind, but also we we were all just too scared to go in there. i tried one more time to go in and i didnt get too far bc it just kept getting scarier the more u went in so i crawled back out.

we spent maybe an hour or two trying our best to brainstorm and venture (unsuccessfully) through the vent system. finally i built up enough courage and determination for kaede and hatred for komaeda that i was ready to face fears and enter the vents again. my plan was to just run through it loud and screaming- so that rather than being jumpscared and caught off guard myself, i’d already alert or scare watever is in there so i would see them coming and it wouldnt be so scary. we still didnt have any weapons or anything, but the gardener gave me this dull gardening tool that kinda looked like one of those tools u see people pick up cake slices on to serve, u kno?

so just as i was ready to burst in, a mega bruised up, beaten, komaeda gets kicked from a window and lands in front of us. we’re all like ‘yay! kaede finally managed to best him!’ i think for a second, where is kaede tho? but i get too overwhelmed seeing komaeda there, this is finally the chance to stop him and make sure he doesnt hurt us or anyone else ever again. he has been a nightmare and i just hope he didnt hurt kaede too much. komaeda is just sittin there and seems to have already accepted his fate. doesnt say anything but it just warmly smiling and waiting for us to end it.

i wasnt gonna miss another oppurtunity like back when he pulled the sleeping gas stunt so i stab him with the  blunt  tool over and over in the face, in his eye, chest, heart- thats wen he falls over n dies. but i keep stabbing him in the back bc this whole dream hes been after us and causing so much stress and anxiety and i want to MAKE SURE he cant get back up somehow through some sneaky tricks up his sleeve or something.

after that ordeal we make our way out the building. we somehow knew that kaede would meet us down there (dream logic i guess). the weather turns into heavy, almost sideways rain. we see kaede made it to the roof of a building across the street via zip line. shes wearing a yellow raincoat bc of the weather (lol.) we’re like yay katie made it out safe. but the gardener is like ‘i dunno, doesnt it kinda look like shes way too spotless, unscratched, untouched for having winning a struggle with komaeda?’ i dont respond and ignore his comment, but it makes a very frightening feeling and thought itch at my mind that something indeed isnt right.

heres the fuckin kick

we meet up withi kaede on the roof only for her to remove the hood of the raincoat and speak to us to reveal that this is actually komaeda with his hair dyed blonde and dressed in kaede’s clothes. hes laughing in our faces and tells us what he did and watches the despair on my face. 

after he snatched kaede from the vent, he beat her the fuck up enough to make up for the fact that he wasnt able to get chihiro too. then he cut and dyed her hair (as well as dyeing his) and switched their clothes (which he actually probably did first since kaedes clothes were spotless remember) that would explain why they were in there for hours while we outside too afraid to go in, deliberating on wat to do. he actually finished setting up with time to spare, but he used that time to just wait, so that our tensions (mainly mine) would build up so much that i would feel fed up and reach the height of my anger, so thats wen he decided it was time to t hrow the disguised kaede at us from the window. he knew the mere sight of “him” would flare up my rage. 

poor katie was so beaten n rekt that she could barely move or even speak, which is why she didnt do anything to fight back or speak. she  couldnt. thats why she, as “komaeda” just sat there and smiled. that was honestly all she could do, just smile at us and accept her fate ;-;  i fucking murdered her.

so the dream ended with komaeda dressed as kaede laughing maniacally at us in the rain with the occasional lightning strikes, like a stereotypical villain ending.

that was the end. i woke up sooooooooooooooo  shookened.

tbh tho, as bad as that dream made me feel im also in love bc ive always liked tragic stories- tragic heroes, sad endings, tearjerker movies, etc, anything sad i love it. so on one hand, im devastated this happened, but on another hand im like- this is a genius storyline. a masterpiece. i love it.

[my-reylo]

Hey ! Just a random question : when Rey says "you're afraid you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader" does she mean powerful strong ? Or can she be meaning "brave enough to go back to the light and face the consequences" strong ? Do you have an opinion on this ? Anyway, I hope you have a nice day !

Oh crap,Im so not the right person to answer this,my analytical skills are non existent! lol..I think she is basically reiterating Kylo’s own fears. At this point we dont know what Kylo knows about Darth Vader’s redemption and I’m pretty sure Rey has no clue about it(poor scavenger baby living out there).We also dont know what Kylo’s ‘personal interest’ is.

 In this case, i would think Rey is just saying what Kylo himself believes and fears.That he wont be as strong a DV (its an impression she gets not the whole issue and it’s details)and that he may not be able to finish his mission,watever it is.

I think as of now, it’s to fully succumb to the dark side(powerful strong,which is weird coz Kylo is very strong already,as per snoke’s statement and the beginning shot of the blaster bolt not to mention the crazy starkiller snow fight.) 

There is something else going on with him apart from the being torn apart.I for one cant wait to see his backstory unfold a bit more. Thank you for this ask! You have a great day too.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

its darker than it looks - prob could get a better shot - later - if i remember - i rather gaze than shoot - have gone out specifically to shoot the moon and forgot while  eye view  

im not a photographer  true 

maybe imma shaolin stylin yah like a gung fu carradine  - a virtual grasshopper not dennis but old af  - flux siri i said flux   - this iz reel deal scene 

i think but then again 

i been told im a wee bit uh 

delusional? 

i could method man an absent minded professor while my hare duz an einstein  - while doin back flips -  there t   thats the delusional  and no ur not a fading rawk star either despite the 30 made a couple weeks ago  - not even a has been  lol  there never were the glory days not even minutes  - wait there wuz a set in front of a thousand ppl and they danced and applauded like hippies - t that wuz awmost 50 fukken yrs ago and as i remember you wuz last billed playing a benefit for peace in a street dance that you proposed - provided the equipment for and some promoter took over  - fuck u creeping dementia or exhaustion or meds my memory is fine - mostly - tho reminders daily of exactly - how old af i am  lol    we lol a lot lately sending frog emoji freely fairly frequent - oh yay  - its tomorrow - frog friday  - except for a paucity - of - uh - froggies in my drafts  - im ahead of the game and there r sure 2 b many in the morning  - feel free to freak freely - no - i meant - to hop on board like a love train meeting peace frog  

do u talk w your oh appliances for instance - do some have personalities  - peculiarities  - some are just plain quirky - my kettle for instance - spits burps and flips its lid literally  - sometimes i beg them to work cuz they tek and ....if u cant finish that line i dont know y i even bother  - this is interactive as fuck if u dont real eyes  - well thats some thing  - did i post chet faker  - i will check but 

u sposed to laff - throw stuff at ur screen - close ur paptop in diss gust - dance - sing along to the songs ffs  - write graffiti  ( t - u lucky anybody reeds u atol and no u aint that clever )  watever 

its later the sky is darker - the moon brighter  - gotta make some dinner but 1st the unpoet chops the garlic - chopping garlic still painful af go figure  - i think imma pome a couple fragments like an alternative reality  - the last time truman capote was in sf  - committing grievious insult to the brain - he was drinking at the kokpit and no it wuz not an airplane themed pilot bar lol  - now why tf does that pop in my head while cooking dinner - gawd i hopez frogs rnt prudish  - r they - no - prudent maybe except when it comes to eating - i wunder wat happen ifn i google - this gonna sit in drafts until at least midnite sister iggy get jiggy  so u dont hafta entertain urselves waiting  (newsflash t - ur uh poetry - is not published in real time w breathless readers hanging on and waiting for every wurd  - u r delusional )  - ok u aint gonna belief this - there is a website that has “everything u wanted to know about frog sex but were afraid to ask “ lol i aint afraid of no ghost  - hmm false advertising or they post fax sequentially as discovered - so latest is a new position for frog sex discovered   https://daily.jstor.org/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-frog-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask/      i let u read urself  but i think it answer question - i mean prudish frogs wouldnt find new positions after all theses years - would they 

discuss cuz my mind is empty  - ooooooo zen af   lol    btw paptop wuz a typo witch made the poem better  - do u know @potato  - funny af yo

lets talk about my kitty :) a good one i love her so much 

yay its after midnight or 2morrow or frog friday  the 13th   its ok im not a mason 

thats nightz templar t   u always think its perry mason guilty    anyway on a fri 13 in the oh lets say middle ages cuz lazy af and too tired to look up - the pope idk which one - btw the church owed plenty $$$ to templars and templars may have had some dirt on the church or pope - so they rounded up and tortured or deaded - a few escaped - but the mass country wide - france i think it was - round up of templars was onnna fri 13   

was that a fun fact or a tangent  - r tangents tangy - remember tang the space drink  - the jetsons were only on 1 season i liked the theme song 

still a dish or 2  - more like a sink full  - i should b doing laundry 

insted hedfonz el vy  a quick text 

duckling teenz accounted for  - yah nightly cuz they dont want me to worry sleepless  - which i dont do usual  - and we wish each other good night and good morning often usually daily - and omg emojis - is this thing gonna work out  - yah in some form or fashion w input varied - might need another partner - one who work for 0 $ lol  - tho commissions and sales and we barely start marketing those should increase - and our web site unfinished but there are a couple good reasons  

sorry if u only reading cuz of froggies and wonder if t ever gonna stfu 

laterz 

love