#watching true crime and it involves a baby

[kiingbiing]

-

[winterarmyy]

Welcome Home, Daddy

The aftermath of when Bucky accidentally relapsed into the Winter Soldier.

Summary: Bucky was over the moon when he discovered that Y/N was pregnant with his child. But, when the danger that lurks in dark threatened to steal his family away, a fellow soldier decided to come home.

Note: Highly recommend to read 《 Welcome Home... Soldat? 》 for backstory. But, you can also read this as a stand alone (though you might miss some call backs on the soldat's behaviour if you skip)

Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x female!reader

Words: 7.1k++ (bare with me, please)

Warnings: graphic violence, torture, blood, gore, deaths, dark undertones, sudden fluff, tiny bit of angst, google translated russian, and just so much detained anger exploding around, soldat is just deadly yet adorable in this one (i can't even handle it, and i'm the author), this event takes place far in the future after what happened in 《 Welcome Home...Soldat? 》

A/N: Looks like we have the winner for the poll 👀 Who's ready for our lovely soldat to make his appearance again? I know I'm not, but here we are. So, strap in and let's do this!

P/S: Also, I might as well make this as my submission for the seven writing event hosted by @nickfowlerrr 💌 Check out the event masterlist and support the writers by reading and reblogging their stories!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

They say the wrath of a fighter may threatened a heinous war but the wrath of a lover will let the earth drenched in bloody gore. And if a fool was daft enough to tore a lover from his other half, then they might just court themselves right into the hands of death.

And this couldn't be more true, especially if we consider the crime that the soldat was currently committing. Surely, the blood pooling on the floor will forever leave a grim mark that'll haunt the people who ever witness it.

"Where is she?" the soldat prompted the frail woman, limping on the chained chair. Despite the horrid situation, he sounded rather calm when he spoke.

How unfortunate it was for Elle to be associated with Hydra yet to also be so exposed to the dangers of the ghost himself, the Winter Soldier. Hydra may have their suspicion about the soldat making a move, but she didn't expect that she would be involved in the mess of this ordeal.

The cold metal of the soldat's vibranium fingers, particularly his index and thumb, latched themselves on another one of her nails. Her mouth slacked open but no sound was able to be formed when the soldat mercilessly ripped her nail right off her finger.

And oh, the pain was beyond any kind of injury that she had ever experienced, not a even a bullet through her flesh could be compared to this agony of a torture.

He harshly grabbed Elle by the back of her neck, forcing her to watch the blood leaking from the reddened flesh of her fingers, "I asked you a simple question, су́ка (bitch). Where the fuck is she?" The soldat's patience had been running thin and rage had clouded his judgements.

He needed to find her. His precious Родная (darling).

No matter whose neck he needed to slay or whose blood that have to be shed dry. He had to bring his darling home; no matter what it takes.

Unfortunately, it had been almost a month since he lost her.

And no one saw it coming.

Who would've thought that the old Hydra compound that the team raided were meant to be a part of a plan to weaken the Avengers. It was just a distraction filled with unexpected traps and triggers. By the time they flew home, the team were already tired and injured as the result of the raid.

So imagine the desperate struggle and utter panic that Bucky had to go through the moment he stepped his foot into the comfort of their home and had to witness Y/N's exhausted figure fighting for her life.

Hers and the baby's inside.

After hitting the 2 months mark of pregnancy, Bucky decided that Y/N shouldn't be involved in any high stake mission anymore. At first, she only laughed to his statement, thinking he was surely joking but when his stern expression didn't flatter, that was when she reliazed Bucky was not open for negotiation.

Y/N knew it was way too early to settle into her maternal leave but after having a long conversation with Bucky, they both agreed to keep her missions strictly on low-risk stakeouts and desk works at the tower.

It was supposedly be some kind of a precaution for her, to keep her and the baby safe, away from any type harm that might come their way. But, that certainly back fired.

When Bucky's burning anger had pumped him full with high stream of adrenaline, it was as if he went into an auto pilot; a murderous one at that. And soon enough he managed to take down half of Hydra's best agents that joined the mission of collecting Y/N from the tower.

For a moment, it seemed like luck was on their side, at least it felt like it.

It lasted only until Bucky saw how harsh the kick of the enemy landed on Y/N's hip, and how she managed to shield her stomach seconds before her body slammed down to the ground.

That was when fear crawled into his pumping nerves and the roots of it ran extremely cold.

And that was all it takes for Hydra to distract Bucky then immobilize him on the spot with a replica of the Sonic Taser developed by Stark Industries a few years back.

Bucky grunted painfully in protest of the high pitched sonic frequency from the device that overloads his nervous system. His body couldn't help but to slowly paralyzed its movements as his skin turned pale and the strain in his blood vessels became visible.

On the opposite side, Y/N could be seen being forcefully dragged away by a few of the Hydra agents that was left. There were couple of nasty injuries torn all over her body yet she was still stubborn on fighting back.

While she was being pulled farther away from him, she shouted his name loud and desprete, "Bucky!" Hot tears broke from the corner of her eyes as she desperately reach out her hand.

It felt as if she was right there when Bucky's hand was reaching back towards her. Like, a little bit of a push would've been enough to catch her but alas fate was not planning to be merciful.

Bucky's menancing eyes never left her wavering ones as Hydra tortured Bucky by stealing a part of his soul from him; and no one really knew how his heart clenched and torn to the fact that he was helplessly useless when Y/N needed him the most.

And when he only managed to scream back Y/N's name, he was forced to watch her wailed as she was unwillingly being taken away.

The moment when Bucky drowned himself in regret and rage, that was when the Winter Soldier took over his consciousness.

Unfortunately for the soldat, his mortal body was already worn out from all the intense fight that happened prior; he was knocked out right after he took over the body.

But in those few seconds before the darkness consumed him, the soldat managed to catch a glimpse of his darling. He saw the image of her; teary and bruised in the hands of those who created him. The very same monsters who uses him for despicable things.

That was all that he needed to see in order to break those chains around the dark pandora residing deep within his being.

The team was absolutely not ready to deal with the soldat again, this time without Y/N to tame him. Especially when his demands were unrealistic for them to fulfill.

It's been nearly 3 weeks since the incident and they had failed to locate Y/N; repeatedly. Even if they did manage to get some kind of an intel, all the of bases they had raided were basically bunch of abandoned spaces that Hydra used to occupy.

So of course the soldat was agitated. He had every right to be, more so when he thought of the increasing risk of his darling getting hurt in the hands of Hydra. And at this point, those scumbags were just messing with their minds. Especially with his.

"Listen, we're doing our best here, soldat." Steve tried to reason with him but it only fueled the burning flames within the soldat, "ты делаешь недостаточно! (You're not doing enough!)" He spat harshly that he didn't even noticed that he uses Russian language. It seemed like the unkempt irritation had conquered the chaos of his mind.

So that very night, the soldat decided to do this on his own; thus he ran away from the tower in search for his darling. He had to. Especially when he knew precisely why the Avenger was not able to find Y/N as quickly as they should be.

It was because they were the good guys. They were the heros, they were the light. And the soldat was not. In fact, he was the very opposite.

Unlike the Avengers, the soldat was not planning to play  nice and soon enough he managed to find a lead.

Which bring us to this very moment in which he successfully snuck into a Hydra agent's home to interrogate her.

But, in contrast of those Hydra troops that attack the Avengers Tower a few weeks ago, Elle was not even involved in the mission of retrieving Y/N. She was actually on a solo mission to infiltrate a certain high school to collect informations on Peter Parker. Hydra suspected that he might be involved with the new hero appearing in Queens.

However, even if she was not a part of the team mission, she knew bits and pieces of the overall plan, especially the whereabout of the main character herself, Y/N.

However, the appearance of the Winter Soldier in her temporary house was completely unexpected.

It felt like it was just few moments ago that the intel on Y/N's location reached her ears. Then, she distinctly remember the glimpse of those murderous eyes glaring into her soul. Next thing she knew was everything went pitch black.

Even if it was temporary, however it felt so surreal.

The darkness surrounding her.

The bone rattling cold.

It felt like death itself.

But unfortunately for her, the soldat was far from stopping.

Elle was fraying at the edges while the soldat crouch to her level. Even if she could barely reconstruct the unclear and blurry images through her dazed eyes, however, that didn't stop the soldat from maiming the dying woman's soul through his unforgiving gaze.

"Wake up..." he growled as he yanked her face upwards, "...we're not done yet."

It took a while for Elle to finally adjust to the light, after being in the dark for – how she felt like – so long.

After the light hits her vision, the striking pain came next. The pulsing pain surrounding of her right eye, her broken nose, her busted lips, her bleeding skin; neck, chest, arms, and almost every part of her limbs.

Everything were – slowly but surely, in each cuts and bruises on her skin – blooming its pain into existence.

How can she skipped all of this when she lost her consciousness?

Perhaps that was how she managed to stay alive as long as she had. By running away from the misery; from her reality.

Elle whined in pain but her voice suggested that she might already torn her throat apart when it sounded more like a broken grunt. Her disoriented gaze fell into her aching fingers, each were missing its nail; the tips of them was where the icky blood trickled from and had shaped a pool of blood on the floor where she rested.

The dim lighting from the room reflected on the surface of the deep-red puddle, revealing the resemblance of it to a mirror. And the blurry image looking back, was the soldat, with a sinister expression on his face.

This game, that they're playing.

It hardly seems fair to one of them. To be tortured if not speaking the truth? That's simply unjust; but if we're talking about fairness, then none of those injuries could ever be compared to the pain Y/N might be going through at this very moment. Every second of Elle's useless stubbornness was costing Y/N's safety.

And the soldat didn't like that. Not one bit.

"You mentioned Spain? Where exactly?" In one swift, harsh motion, the soldat thrust his knife through her thighs, "FUCK!"

The loud scream of pain that tore from Elle's throat was probably the last coherent word that she uttered as the torture continued.

The soldat pulled the knife out and stabbing it into the open wound, he listened to Elle's gasp for a moment, relishing her breathless pleading and the tears now openly streaming down her face.

He stabbed again, twice, each was quick and deep, not caring about the blood that spurted out across his face.

At this point Elle was just a puddle of blabbering mess; streams of saliva pouring out her mouth, sobbing, gasping for air; mixture of grunts, moans and whispers of curses and pleas were all spouted incoherently.

Anger.

Frustration.

Rage.

Wrath.

Even hatred.

The soldat was feeling it all.

It was consuming him, devouring any sanity that was left of Bucky's moral values. The eerie glint in the soldat eyes suggested that he was not planning to stop until she gave him what he wants.

God, if it wasn't for chilling atmosphere around her, Elle might just mistook that she was actually in hell.

"Pyrenees!" She cried out. The soldat instantly stopped when she confessed. He waited for an answer and right on cue, she spoke again, breathless and almost silent as the fear that engulfed her prior refused to release her from its haunting grip. And truthfully she doubt that it will ever let her go, "T-there a secret base n-near the Irati forest."

She exhaled a shaky breath as she pleaded, "S-so please. Please stop this." The was tired of the pain and the numbness that came after. And the soldat knows it.

The room was left silent momentarily, as if he was actually considering her plea but alas he already had plans for her all along, "Shame. You should've killed yourself before I came here."

As he finished the last word, the soldat viciously plunged his knife deep into her neck, digging the sharpness of it through the delicate flesh until it reach the base of the blade.

Elle gasped in response, her hands scrabbling around in effort to break free, to stop all of this. But considering the situation she was in, there was nothing she could do about it other than to take it as it was given to her.

When the motion finally stopped, the soldat simply walked away from the scene as if it was a complete norm for him to behave as he was. He didn't even thought of cleaning the mess he left behind. Or hide the corpse somewhere.

Isn't he afraid that he might leave his tracks for the police to find?

Why would he?

This has been his life for decades on end. His sole purpose of living was to kill. So best believe that the authorities will never be able to link the soldat or Bucky to this crime.

Not today, not ever.

Through the days that Y/N was locked deep within Hydra's base, she hadn't been treated the worst. In fact, the sick and twisted agents and residents in the facility was more than willing to care for her.

This was all because they wanted her baby.

It was always sickening to hear them referring her child as merely a tool for their success. And the way they worship Y/N like she was a gift from God to fulfill their purpose, was beyond insanity.

"Oh, to have the privilage of bearing the offspring of the Winter Soldier. To be able to create the perfect weapon, unlike the father. It is just honorable."

It made her stomach churned with pure disgust whenever she heard those types of comments floating around her.

Besides the eerily digusting behaviour of the agents, there was also the regular check-ups and the lab tests that she needed to attend. Out of all the things she had to endure these past few weeks, the medical check-up has always dreaded her the most.

There was this constant debate within her troubled mind; of the possibility of Hydra manipulating her baby's health and genes by inserting unknown substance into her.

"Come on, mama. On the bed." The doctor said as he patted his rubber gloved hand on the surface of the rigid single bed.

She always found it vile that the people here calling her by that nickname. It tickled her throat in a way that she wanted to puke all the tasteless gunk that they had fed her with.

As she laid on the bed and let the process went on as it usually do, the doctor suddenly stopped everything that he was doing. At first she was weirded out by the irregular act of the man, but when she felt the vibration on the ground and the rushing footsteps from the floor above her, she knew exactly why the doctor suddenly froze on his spot.

And the emergency siren that shortly blared after, had only confirmed her speculation.

But mostly, it was the panic in the doctor's eyes that gave him away; then when Y/N noticed the man scrambled to search the drawers from one of the cabinet, she knew that he was up to no good.

The second that the doctor's hurried his steps towards her with a syringe in his hand, Y/N's body immediately recoiled. She quickly stopped him by grabbing his wrist and twisted it back until the syringe dropped from his hold.

The man cursed under his breath and decided to take her by force when he grabbed a handful of her hair, almost dragging her out of the bed. Y/N shrieked painfully while her hands blindly grabbing the silver tray by the bed next to her.

She then slammed it hard against his head, and watched the contents on the tray fell and scatter onto her. She took quick skim over all the tools and saw a potential weapon for her defence; a scissor.

"Stay still, mama. Or the baby will get hurt." The doctor foolishly threatened.

Maybe it was her defence mechanism or maybe it was just her motherly instinct kicking in but something just snapped inside of her when he said those words. There was this incredibly strong urge to either fight or take flight.

Of course she could easily slipped away and make a run for it but she just couldn't risk it. Especially when her baby's life was currently at stake. So, after a short moment of hesitation, she swiftly grabbed the scissors and surge it through his ribs. The man wailed in pain as he staggered off the bed and fell onto the floor.

You'd thought a single yet firm stab through the guts was enough to quench Y/N's need of fighting back but no. Apparently, the haywire of her nerves had drove her feral and she needed him to be soulless by the time she walk out the room.

That had forced her to nearly jumped on him like a predator pinning on a meek prey and the lack of struggling on the victim's side had only gave her full control to dominate him.

Then all of the sudden, the doctor felt another strike of the pain, digging into the flesh of his chest.

He woefully cried in extreme pain while Y/N did not utter a single word or let out any sound, she stayed silent as she thrusts the scissor in and out his flesh.

Each surge was vicious than the previous. Each stab was gradually speeding up as the motion increases it's number of repetition.

She completely let her emotions took over her sanity.

Until what's left in the room was only the sloshing and splashing sound of blood seeping through every thrust, as she continued to violate the body of the corpse.

Until the calm puddle of blood on floor rippled as the tears that broke from her eyes dropped on it's surface.

And when she realized that the doctor was long dead, that broke Y/N out from her feral state. Realizing what she had done; she shakily loosen her grip on the scissors and scrambled off from the lifeless body.

Her breath was near erratic; it was a chaos of unsteady rhythm as her words was lost at the tip of her tongue. She jolted in shock when the commotion in the facility got louder than before, reminding her that Bucky was there to save her.

Y/N felt a sob choking in her throat as her hands searched her stomach to coax the child in her womb, "It's okay sweet bean, daddy's here for us."

Have you ever heard how ear-ringingly loud it is when it's hailing? How the sounds of the frozen raindrops hitting – the top of your car or the roof of the shades of an outdoor café table – can completely mute your words for anyone to hear?

That has nothing compared to the thundering sounds that echoed throughout the whole facility. The shots were fired from multiple range of stolen guns, all were coming from one moving figure.

The once clean grey and white painted walls of the hallways, were now stained and splattered with the color of crimson. The usually empty hallways, were occupied by the dead bodies of fallen Hydra agents. And the distinct scent of well-kept lair, were effortlessly replaced by the unpleasant and pungent smell; a mixture of blood and sweat.

It was a clear trail of the Winter Soldier's deeds.

This place was supposed to be pristine, but now feels more like how it should be; hell.

While the enemies were roaring into their death, the soldat on the other hand was very much the opposite.

Unlike his foe, it took him very little work from the tips of his tongue and much more on the tips of his gun. When the enemies barked like a dog, the soldat pounced like a wolf; silent and resilient.

By nature, the soldat had never been a patient man, especially when it comes to people harming his darling.

Sure, maybe he can tolerate and play along with people who messed with him, but if one were to touch even a strand of hair of his beloved, then they practically reserving themselves a first class ticket of a one-way trip to hell.

And that unhinged tendencies of his only worsen when wrath was the one reigning his mind while hatred was its ruler. His mind was nothing but a chaos of rampage and vengeance. Seeking nothing but blood and death of his foolish foe.

At this point of time, with the amount of life he had taken from the moment he step foot into the gate of the base, to the very stairs he was currently climbing, one could probably matched his heart rate with the rhythm of the shots formed by the bullets he shot.

Magazine upon magazine he reloaded his gun and waste no less than zero bullet as every shot made was accurately deadly and terrifying fatal to his prey.

As the soldat's feet reached half way up the stairs, a Hydra agent's voice spoke from the lower level, "She's on the LG2, we need a team to come and collect her as soon as poss--" A bullet went straight through the top of his head before he could finish his sentence.

And that was the soldat's last ammo.

While he mentally took note on the intel, his feet was quick to jumped into action and made his way down to LG2. As he entered the hallway, his wild eyes wondered around to steal another gun from a dead man's body.

But he rose into a stand, he felt a tip of a cold steel nudged at the back of his head.

Some would call out the soldat's mistake for letting his guard down in the middle of a battle, but another would definitely ridicule the stupidity of that fool's guts for even thinking that the soldat couldn't counter-attack his weak threats.

However, none of the two man managed to made any move towards each other when there was a faster, more accurate trigger was pulled from someone else, from across the hallway.

And that action left an aftermath of the fool's body to drop flat on the floor, quickly finding it's perfect spot with between the other pile of corpses scattered around.

When the soldat turned around, the sharp of his gaze softened almost immediately.

There she was standing there, in the pastel blue of her 'prison' attire. Her hair was a bit messy even if it was tied, and her complexion looked slightly pale with fatigue but to the soldat, she was glowing like angel; despite the blood on her clothes or the gun in her hand.

She was right there.

His heart.

His love.

His darling.

Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been crying for days. Her pouty lips trembled when the soldat stepped closer and closer towards her, tears threatening to fall as if she haven't done that during all the weeks that she had been here.

The soldat's steps grew faster.

So does Y/N's.

Tap taping until they were almost running towards each other.

Until the moment they reunited in the middle.

Catching each other's lips in a desperate and insatiable kiss, the soldat pulled her body tight around the waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Both whimpered in a yearning moan, both still had their guns hanging on one of their hands.

So many feelings at once, relief and grief, with each of them had a different story to tell.

The couple kept breaking and mending the kiss ever-so-passionately as if they weren't in the middle of the grave-less cemetery; as if they weren't in the center of the piling corpses.

Briefly opening his eyes, the soldat could see a shadow running towards them. When Y/N heard the footsteps from her back, she knew they need to pull away, but the soldat was firm and stubborn with his hold.

So instead of letting her break the kiss, he groaned in disapproval and pulled her lips back to his. An angry growl vibrated against her lips as he continued to explore her wet and warm mouth.

Caught off-guard she melted to his silent demand, almost forgot that the enemy was right behind her. But, she should've know better when the soldat loosen one of his arms from the embrace and pointed his gun towards the target.

His finger pulled the trigger almost as easily as his teeth tugging into the bottom of her lips. And suddenly the sound of a body collapsing behind didn't matter anymore.

When the soldat felt that he had enough of the sweetness of her kiss, he finally pulled away, at least for now. He whispered dearly, "Родная (darling)..." he cupped her face in his large hands and rested his forehead on hers.

She thought she heard it wrong, but did he just called her darling? It took her a few second to piece it together and realized that this man was not Bucky, that he had relapsed into the Winter Soldier again, "Soldat?"

The soldat smiled and leaned forward to steal a chaste kiss on her lips, "Yes, it's me, мое Родная (my darling)" he cooed as he swept her by her feet, off the bloody ground and carried her in his arm, "I got you, Куколка (little one). You can rest now."

"We're just wanted make sure she's alright."

"You can follow us if you want so just please--"

"Soldat! You're going to hurt her."

The familiar voices leaked through Y/N's ears as she was drifting through her dreamless slumber. Soon enough, the loud commotion of her surrounding woke her up from the deep sleep.

The words that the Avengers were yelling out became clearer as she gained her consciousness, and the ever-changing movements of the soldat, evading every step the Avengers made to get closer to him, made her aware of the way she was resting in his arms; perfectly cocooned in a form of a bridal carry style.

The soldat halted on his spot when Y/N opened her eyes to see what was going on, "Soldat?" She blinked multiple times as she adjusted to the lights. The menacing frown of the soldat melted into a much softer expression, "Родная(darling), you shouldn't be awake yet." He craddled her closer to him as he cooed.

Where is she? How long was she out? When did she changed her clothes?

"What is happening?" She asked as she peered over his shoulder to see Natasha sighing in relief, "Sweetheart, thank god you're awake."

Y/N then looked over to Steve, "You've been gone for weeks, y/n. We got news about your rescue yesterday, and you guys just arrived home. Now, if we could just to take you to the medbay and get you check-up, that'll be great." He briefly explained.

"Yeah, that's all we want isn't it? But, someone just had to be sappy and refuse to let anyone touch you. You know, how it is with the soldier." Tony quickly intercepted.

The soldat didn't pay them any attention now that his darling was awake. He was merely focusing on whispering the sweetest things as he traces delicate trails of kisses on her forehead, her nose, her cheek, basically all over her face.

Sam took it as opportunity to get closer when the soldat was distracted on suffocating Y/N with kisses. But he should learn by now how alert and agile the soldat can be, especially when he have Y/N close to his proximity.

So, when Sam took a step closer, the soldat recoiled almost immediately, putting quite of a distance between them.

"Man, if Bucky has a staring problem, then the winter soldier over here has a hogging problem." Sam accusingly pointed at the soldat, only getting grunts as a reply.

Looking at the current situation, Y/N pondered for awhile. As much as she wanted to get herself check-up, it was also wise to not pressure the soldat to give her away.

Considering what she witnessed at the Hydra base, Y/N knew the risk that comes when we let the soldat dwell in anger for too long.

So she consulted the rest of the team to back down for now, and let the soldat do what he wants. Y/N promised them that she will conviced the soldat to let her get a check-up as soon as possible. But for now, they really need to trust her words.

At first every one of them was reluctant to let her go but in the end they agreed to her suggestion.

When the team spread out and gave some space for the soldat, he didn't waste any time and marched straight to where their bedroom supposed to be. As soon as they arrived at their safe space, the soldat almost threw Y/N onto the bed and swiftly drew a knife from the holster of his thigh as his predatory eyes searched the room.

He refused to move even an inch away from where he stood and remained close to Y/N; shielding her figure with his own.

It was very faint, but the soldat could sensed that they weren't the only ones in the room.

Y/N eyed him curiously, wondering why the soldat was still on edge when he wasn't supposed to. So, she hopped off from the bed and stood on her feet before reaching out to hug the soldat from behind.

"You can put the knife down, soldat. It's just us here." She coaxed but the soldat refused to believe her. He pulled her by the arms, breaking her hug in the process and hold her close to his chest, "There's someone else here."

His actions was rather rougher than he intended it to be; even Y/N was startled by the sudden movement, "Oooff, careful there, soldat. You might give the little one a fright." She chuckled softly as she give her belly a loving rub.

And suddenly his attention was completely focused on Y/N now. Usually his frown symbolized irritation, but this time there was a clear confusion in his eyes. The amount of appalled blinking of his eyes increases when the puzzle pieces in his head started to merge.

The soldat knew that he heard a third heartbeat in the room; that was why he was on alert for threats but apparently he had been closer to the source than he thought was.

In fact, it was right his arms. Or maybe a little bit lower, somewhere around his torso.

Y/N didn't say anything, she simply nodded and smiled up to him as she continued to rub her belly.

When the conclusion finally hits him, the soldat dropped the knife in his hand at the same time he fell on his knees. His gaze never broke from hers, not even a split second, until he was face to face with her tummy.

The soldat leaned one side of his ear closer to her and the thumping sound of the third heartbeat got louder. The discovery had caused him to jolt away as shock decorated his features. He titled his head upwards to Y/N with the same wide, confused look in his blue eyes.

"It's okay, love." She giggled amusingly when the soldat repeated his previous actions. He leaned in and jolted back again as if he couldn't believe what he just heard was real, "Is it... his?" The soldat asked as he implied his existance to be separated from Bucky.

There was a hint of sadness in Y/N's expression when he said it like that. There's been many long conversations that she and Bucky had about the soldat after his first relapse.

Though Bucky was still unsure of his own dissociating self, Y/N on other hand believed that the soldat, this particular man whose drenched the earth with blood just to save her, the same man whose currently on his knees to hear a heartbeat of an unborn child; he deserved a little kindness in his life.

"Yes..." Y/N answered truthfully before she continued, "...and he's yours too."

And that surely knocked the air out of the soldat's lungs, he couldn't tell if she was telling him the truth or was just trying to kill him; either way the butterflies in his chest was suffocating him from the inside.

The soldat couldn't speak a single word; because he didn't know what to say. But there was this beam on his features, light in his eyes, softness on his smile when he dreamily stared at her growing belly.

Y/N took him by his flesh hand and place his palm on her stomach, then she spoke tenderly to the baby inside her, "Wanna say hi to daddy, sweet bean? Say, 'Welcome home, daddy.' "

She knew it was silly, because obviously the child in her womb shouldn't be able to speak, and he was not yet developed enough to be kicking his feet. Hell, they don't even know his gender yet.

But how could she not say it when the soldat looked so damn happy when she did. He looked so peaceful and has this daze and some of those twinkling hearts in those steel-blue eyes of. The soldat sighed in pure joy before he leaned to kiss her stomach.

And as it turns out that was all she needed to do to persuade the soldat to letting her see the doctors. He was there through the whole process, refusing to let go of her hand. It was such a good news to hear that the baby was healthy and there wasn't any foreign substance that might contaminated her during her times in Hydra.

After getting proper medical care and some food in her system, the soldat immediately carry her back to their room to settle down. While she laid on the bed, making up for the lost time to finally get the mental rest she desperately needed, the soldat on the other hand, had made himself comfortable by lying his head on her stomach.

He just couldn't stop; as if he was hypnotised by the melody of the baby's heartbeat. His hand snuck under her shirt, lifting the fabric up to reveal the belly where their miracle resides.

Y/N's droopy eyes followed his actions as she watched how carefully the soldat approached her. Out of habit, her hands absentmindedly rake through the softness of his hair as she held him by the head.

The soldat dotingly caressed the child's sleeping chambers as he leaned closer to it, "...Hi there, little one." he greeted with a quiet and loving whisper.

Immediately, a smile beamed brightly on Y/N's face when the soldat proceed to pamper her belly with countless of tender kisses, "...it's daddy." he introduced himself, as if the baby was able to understand him.

The silence that came after was so sweet and comfortable. And Y/N knew she wouldn't be able to have this without the soldat. She tucked a piece of his loose strand of hair behind his ear when she spoke gently, "Thank you for saving me, soldat."

He briefly lifted his head and smiled up at her, "You know I can't live without you Родная (darling). I will always need you." He declared a truthful confession before turning his attention away. His lips grazed on the skin of her belly as he mumbled against it, "And you too, little one."

Y/N could burst into tears just from this interaction alone but she try not to. She doesn't want to look back at this moment and remember how much she wept, so she blinked her tears away while she watched the soldat spoiled the little buddle of joy inside her with so much endearments.

Even though it was always a happy memory for the soldat when he spend time with his darling, but this... this was rare. And he wanted to cherish it for as long as he could.

The soldat laid on his ears again when he peered from where he had his head rested, his deep gaze captured her attention, "Has he been taking care of you good, darling?" He asked.

The soldat probably had no idea how Bucky adored her; if anyone paid enough attention they might even caught him worshipping the very ground she stepped on.

A breathy chuckle escaped from her mouth as nodded with a drunken grin, "He's the best." She hummed approvingly, "Best husband, and best daddy too." She exclaimed brightly as she glanced at the ring on her finger; it was barely visible through the thick of the soldat's hair.

Surprisingly, the soldat didn't react negatively to her remarks, instead, a proud smile curved on his lips as the pride in his chest overflowed and leaked all through his very being, "Good." He simply said.

The smile lines on the corner of his eyes didn't flatten even when he closed his eyes. For a moment, he tried to silenced everything else around him and focused on the fluttering sounds of the baby's tiny heart.

It might have been the thick haze of lavender smoke in their head or the swarming butterflies in their chest, that they didn't even notice the fatigue that had been slowly taking over them, until the tenderness of their caresses were barely moving.

When the heaviness of her eyes weighted the lids, she sleepily asked the soldat, "Will you still be here when I wake up?" Truth to be told, she was afraid that all of this was just a dream; an escape from reality of the cruel captivity.

The soldat briefly opened his own tired eyes and cooed softly, "I'm always with you, Родная (darling)." And Y/N took it as a promise for her desprete soul to cling on; a ray of hope for her to hold onto, if she ever wakes up in that cell again.

Not long after, both of them lost to the lure of somnolent and their soul quickly drifted into the peaceful dreamland. Soft snores were filling the quiet of the room as their mortal body continued to entangled themselves with each other.

It was safe to say that if Steve would ever barge into the room, he'd probably maxed the storage of his phone with photos of the soldat smushing his face on Y/N's belly as she perfectly curled around him.

Maybe it was the sunlight leaking through the window or maybe it was the intense gaze she felt burning on the skin of her face. Eitherway, it certainly disturbed her from her sleep.

When her body stirred, Y/N realized that she didn't need to open her eyes to know that last night was not a dream, especially when she can feel a pair of familiar arms wrapping around her waist under her shirt.

Y/N slowly peeled her eyes open to see a recognizable ceiling. Her eyes then trailed to her side and met a pair of blue of eyes staring back at her. Her gaze searched for the soul within him and found the semblance of Bucky reflected in his eyes.

Still dazed from sleep, she continued to watch him blinking at her, slowly and silently, like a cat declaring their love to their human. But even then, he couldn't hide the afterglow of the tears on his face.

"Bucky, honey. Have you been crying?" Her voice rasped from lack of use, yet her tender fingers find themselves crawling across his wet cheeks. 

It was as if her voice was a trigger, and tears quickly reformed in Bucky's eyes again. Y/N gently pulled him to her chest, one hand threading his hair and another rubbing his back as he sobbed in her arms, "It's okay, Bucky. We're okay." She continued to coax him lovingly.

They spend most of the early morning holding each other close and dear. Then when the tears started to lessen, Bucky finally pulled himself away from her. Y/N wiped the excess tears on his cheeks but he caught her hand underneath his; he relished in the relief of her presence when he sighed to her touch.

Bucky's gaze wobbled in the pool of tears in his eyes but he was still determined to speak his mind  "I'm so sorry, doll." He apologized, "I couldn't stop them. Even with this damned serum in me, I still couldn't protect you; both of you." If his defeated voice didn't convey his truth, then the tremble of his touch should be enough.

And Y/N's heart simply shattered for him; what did he meant by that? He did save her though. The winter soldier or Bucky. It didn't matter who but she was here now because of him. She was safe; they both were, "But you saved me, did you not?"

"But, I didn't. The sol--" Before Bucky could even finish his sentence, Y/N quickly cuts in, "The soldat is always going to be a part of you, Bucky. And if he saved me, that means you saved me too." She reassured him.

Seeing the hesitation in his eyes, she continued to persuade him, "And if I could speak for our child, which I absolutely can because I'm his mother, then he would say that he is proud that his strong daddy managed to beat the absolute shit out of those bad guys."

Bucky blurted out a hearty laugh, "I don't think it's good to teach our baby to curse when he is still in your womb, mama." His laugh gradually reduced to a chuckle when he wiped the remaining tears from his eyes.

Y/N simply shrugged to his suggestion, "It's not like he wouldn remember this anyway." She smirked playfully.

Another chuckle managed to slip through Bucky's lips before he lowered his face to her tummy, "And you? How's your play date with Winter, hmm sweet bean?" He mumbled as his lips planted on her skin.

Besides the heartbeat of his child, he could also hear the tiny twitching of the baby's limbs moving ever-so-slightly, "Yeah, I bet he spoiled you with lots of kisses and cuddles, huh? Like he did your mommy?" He continued to coo against her belly, unaware of the shock on his wife's face.

"Winter?" A small smile cracked from the corner of her lips. Yes, she was shocked but that doesn't mean she wasn't pleasantly surprised by it.

Bucky didn't even bother to look up at Y/N's face as he was busy blowing raspberries on her stomach, "If he's going to keep popping up in our lives then we might as well call him something else other than 'soldat', don't you think?" He simply said, marking one last kiss on the small growing bulge on her belly, before working his way back up to her face.

Y/N's heart swelled to his gesture and when he laid his head next to hers, she carefully took him by his cheeks, pulling him in for a gentle kiss, "I think he'd love that, Bucky." She whispered against his lips, feeling his smile in return.

Bucky nudges forward to catch her lips again; kissing her slow and sweet as if his whole world has been waiting for this moment. And when the kiss naturally broke, he tempted her with something he knew she couldn't resist, "Now, how about we grab you both something to bite, hmm?"

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: The use of the title in the fic is suprisingly wholesome despite the insinuation of it, don't you think? Lol. Btw, thank you so much for stopping by and read my work. Leave your thoughts behind for me, I'd love to hear from you!

[cryobabyy]

Husband!Cooper but from Y/N perspective, queen???

Of course pookie mwah😘

Cooper is an extremely attentive husband. He's the glue holding the relationship together and you're not sure how you would function without him.

He's a classic type C. He's organized, on top of things, practical, punctual, and efficient in all aspects. This complements your easygoing, forgetful, and spontaneous nature. You come up with the ideas, and he thinks about the logistics.

Cooper functions as a built-in task manager for you. You would be a mess without him.

"Honey, don't forget to pay that parking ticket." "Remember you signed up for that Pilates class! It's next Tuesday." "Baby, your car is past due for an oil change. You want me to handle it?"

You have a running joke where you refer to him as "The manager". If something goes wrong you're like. "Can I speak to the manager?" and then he's clocked in to fix your situation lol

He cosigns all of your antics. You decided you're vegan now? He bought you a vegan cookbook. You want to reorganize the entire garage? He's installing new shelves this weekend. You want to do some random DIY shit you saw on TikTok? He's driving you to Michaels after work. Whatever it is you're up to, Cooper wants to be a part of it in some way. He's very involved.

When you travel, he runs a tight ship. He makes sure you're packed a week in advance, you're at the airport 3 hours early, he has your passports/IDs/boarding passes. You brought uno to play on the plane and snacks.

He has an 810 credit score and you have no idea how??

He's always touching you. Hand on the small of your back, resting on your thigh while watching true crime documentaries on Netflix, an arm around your shoulder when you're walking.

Hates arguing with you. Sometimes he makes you feel irrational by tackling your grievances with pragmatic solutions when you just want to vent, but you're glad at least someone is thinking rationally.

Sometimes you wonder if he has some form of OCD? Most of your quarrels stem from him going overboard with the cleaning/organization/uptightness. Results in random petty arguments.

"I don't understand why we can't just use one type of olive oil."

"Because extra virgin olive oil is for drizzling and cooking olive oil is for sauteing. There's a difference."

"Olive oil is olive oil, Cooper."

Fights don't usually last long. You might be butt hurt, but Cooper has a sense of humor that breaks the tension. You can never stay mad because he makes you laugh. It pisses you off.

"I can tell you're trying not to laugh, by the way."

"Leave me ALOOOOONEEEE."

[creepling]

modern!au sawyer/slaughter family headcanons

nubbins

anarcho-capitalist discord modder with nitro

addicted to arizona tea

funk-pop collecter

wears a fez unironically

desk-setup is covered in cigerette buds and ash even tho he has 10 ash trays in eye sight

reddit user

closeted furry

had an incel phase but didn't wanna black pill bc he quote "loves tiddies".

drayton

facebook mom

always bidding on ebay

falls for scams like "hot asians near your area"

will deliberately cause fights with workers in hospitality

not afraid if say if someone has an ugly baby

refers to minority groups in plural (ie. the gays)

parasocial relationship with donald trump

thought covid was a conspiracy but loved lockdown.

bubba

works at walmart stacking shelves

weekly attender of adult trampoline parks.

down time involves getting high and watching baby sensory videos

likes anime but never finishes a series.

feeds stray cats then wonders why they follow him home

special interest is super mario bros and WWE

cosplays on tiktok and accidentally became a meme.

johnny

hooks up with his friend's moms

snapchat score in the millions and infamous among dating apps

can't drive bc of multiple DUIs

thinks porn is useless and calls people who watch it "bitchless", but will beg for nudes

wants a "crazy girl" then gets scared at said crazy girl.

has dropped his phone in the toilet more than once. multiple times actually

will jump on online comms for nubbins when people are bullying him and cuss them out.

unironically calls himself a sigma male and/or alpha chad.

sissy

kleptomaniac for small items in supermarkets

has an OF and charges crazy amounts for feet pics

her mugshot is her finsta pfp

is the girl in nightclub bathrooms that compliments everything about you, but wil glass a guy at the bar and get kicked out

gets the villain edit as an x factor contestant

does vlogs of her crying on the kitchen floor, trisha paytas style

goes to sleep listening to true crime podcasts

has insane road rage to the point she will get out and smash your car window.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! I seem to recall you may be a true-crime aficionado. Maybe more than just museum heists? I'm watching Murder on the Orient, and was doing a little digging into the Lindbergh kidnapping. Do you have any opinions about whether Bruno Hauptmann was actually guilty? Seems a bit fishy to me, three years after the fact, that they hang the conviction on a blue-collar immigrant. Also here's my baby kitties!

AW ORANGE BABIES.

[ID: Three images of fluffy orange tabby cats; in the first one is lying on some silky fabric with a ball of yarn, and in the second two cat butts with tails are visible behind some blinds in a window. In the third a cat is lying on its back with front paws stretched over its head, displaying a very fluffy belly.]

I do enjoy a spot of true crime now and again although lately I've moved away from direct true crime media and more into analysis of it, which feels a little less exploitative. Some true crime reporting can genuinely be useful and informative and keep a dialogue open about victimhood, policing, the carceral state, and such, but it's a fine line to walk.

I had thought that we'd pretty much laid to rest the idea that Hauptmann had anything to do with the Lindbergh kidnapping, since the evidence used against him was I think mainly shit made up by reporters after the fact, but when I googled to see I found it's still very much under debate. I don't think there's any denying that Haputmann was brutally railroaded, but that doesn't necessarily mean he didn't do it.

I don't think Hauptmann did it simply because he was such an easy target, but I haven't done a deep enough dive on this case to have formed a strong opinion. The newer a theory of the crime is, the wilder it tends to be, so I'm skeptical of some of these "Lindbergh did it himself" theories, but they do at least point up what a weird fashy eugenicist Lindbergh was, and I think more people should know about that. (One of the more popular but rather unfounded theories is that the child was disabled in some way and Lindbergh killed him rather than admit he or his wife had "faulty" genes.)

I think ultimately who did it doesn't really matter, given everyone involved is assuredly dead by now; I think it's more useful as a jumping-off point to discuss the flaws in the justice system and the unfairness of privilege when it comes to who gets attention and who doesn't. I think it's much like how Hallie Rubenhold treats Jack the Ripper; when asked by "ripperologists" who she thinks Jack was, she says that she doesn't care -- she's interested in the victims and their place in society (both historical and contemporary) and the phenomenon of the deep misogyny that is at the heart of our discourse on Jack the Ripper.

[unsteady-calcium]

Ok, I'm mid season 7 now, and I’ve had a moment to collect my thoughts. Fair warning, this is rambling...

To me, most of seasons 6 and 7 is great actually.

I like Booth’s anger and rage. I get why people don’t, but I do. I think it’s not only understandable and in character and makes me feel empathetic towards him; I actually think it’s a damn interesting narrative choice, and makes Booth a more real character than he has been before.

And I love Brennan’s fear, too. She develops so much, and her "fall back on rationality as a defence mechanism" armour is finally starting to crack. It's damn fascinating to watch.

I like that the two of them had real, emotional, character-driven obstacles to overcome, before they can be together. And that identifying those obstacles doesn't automatically mean that they've overcome them at the same time. It stays true to their characters and the journey they’ve been on together so far, instead of some half-assed “I have to focus on Parker” or “crime solving takes up too much time to try to have relationships”, which most TV couples are reduced to when trying to keep up the tension. I love that they gradually overcame the fear and the rage, their small victories and choices adding up to something big. They rebuilt the trust and faith that has always been their bedrock. It feels like the natural conclusion of their relationship developing for years, with the highs and lows that it has been comprised of.

Granted, the writers fumbled the ball when it came to the actual emotional resolution at the end. It could, with only a few changes, have been improved by coming at the tail end of a case which forced them to confront something about their relationship. Or the bare minimum, make it more implicit how scared they were to lose each other without having even been together first. Just, you know. Any reason why it happened when it did.

But. There’s always fanfic, I guess.

What bothers me the most is actually something else.

I feel like there’s multiple seasons missing between s6 and s7. Obviously there were pregnancy factors and all that, and my heart rejoices at B&B getting the full domestic treatment. And this is hardly a novel take - everyone seems to agree. But there is so much missing before season 7, to the degree that it’s almost hard for me to believe that these are the same characters and not... Well... Pregnancy AU, 13/13 chapters, 45k words, status: complete.

Don't get me wrong: it's a damn good pregnancy AU. They deal with a lot of stuff that is very in character. And honestly? The idea that actually, once these two overcome their fears and decide to try being together, they are rock sollid? is fair. It makes sense.

But still.

They're Booth and Brennan.

They deserved a full year of Temperance “my childhood trauma made me scared of my emotions, prone to discard reasoning based on emotions, and simultaneously desperate to, and terrified of, being part of a family” Brennan.

And a full year of Seeley “my childhood trauma makes me overcommit to romantic partners way too fast and also makes me obsessed with being a Good Man who does the Right Thing regardless of what the people involved actually want or need” Booth.

They would clash at every stage. Every label, every milestone, would be rough and every victory would be a hard-won battle. Defining what they are to each other, deciding whom to tell and when and why, moving in together, overprotectiveness, independence, trust... there is something new to tackle all the damn time.

There would be so much doubt, and so much fear, because the stakes are so high. Because they are Booth and Brennan, and if they lose this, if they lose each other, they lose everything.

And, after a year of trying their damnest to figure all this out and finally getting somewhere, the prospect of an unplanned baby would crank every single aspect of it up to 11. Brennan would be terrified of that baby. Because she wants it so much, and she wants what it means in terms of starting a family. Making something permanent. She would regress into her hyper-rational persona. Their happiness would depend on Booth recognising that, putting his own feelings to the side, and helping her through it. And we know that the more emotionally invested he is, the more he struggles with exactly that...

They would need every ounce of love and support from their friends to get through it. Every bit of faith from their found family. And that would be cathartic as hell, because forming and trusting those bonds has also been a part of the journey to get to this stage.

And they would get through it for the same reason that they have gotten this far in the first place: because despite it all, Booth and Brennan help each other to find faith, and choose to trust. They give each other the strength to risk heartbreak.

They would get through it. And it would be glorious.

Then, and only then, I would like season 7 to happen exactly the way it happened.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 1

Okay, I really shouldn't be doing this, but I keep seeing gifs and how am I supposed to resist two of my DMBJ boys in the same drama. Especially when one of them is Cheng Yi who I love.

Also, I promised @xantissa I would check it out and report back.

I'm only going to be watching this in slow time because I really want to finish The King's Avatar, but on a weekend when I have a bit more free time I can squeeze in an ep here or there. So there won't be regular updates for this one.

Also, I don't have a VIP iqiyi account so I can't watch it too fast anyway :D

I think I read that people involved Blood of Youth and Love and Redemption were involved in this? Or it has similar vibes to them? Either way I loved both of those dramas so I am hopeful for this one

I'm only on the opening credits but, god, look at him. He's so good at looking tortured and pretty

Oh no I am having traumatic Heroes flashbacks. Hopefully this will be less sad.

He always looks so good when he's getting whumped and I'm glad whoever made this realised that

God to love a drama that starts with an establishing backstory

At 17 I was still in school and had no idea what to do with my life

Very much enjoying this dramatic boat fight

Oh no has he been poisoned? That's fighting dirty!

7 minutes into the first episode and he's spitting blood. That might be a new record for him

Flashfoward 10 years and Cheng Yi is now a doctor and apparently mpreg is a thing

I love his doggo already

I'm assuming there's a reason he's wearing this mask beyond The Aesthetic

Lady, it is rude to just rip a dude's mask off without his consent

Ah, that's why he was wearing the mask. He wanted to be a cop so badly he went to cop school undercover

Well, Zeng Shunxi does have experience playing the only heir to a wealthy family whose parents don't approve of the line of work he's gone into

Not sure that's true given Li Xiangyi 'died' 10 years ago when Zeng Shunxi will have been about 10

God, you can see why he was cast as Wu Xie

Ehehe! I knew he was lying

God, he's so cute

I love that they keep cutting to random shots of the dog. The editor clearly knows what's important

Yes, good. He's already vowing to marry Li Xiangyi

Wow they literally just met

Congrats you now have a sugar baby

Yep. Cool.

Aww they were getting along so well and then Li Xiangyi drugged him and told him he was a useless detective

Well, he brought the dead back to life so I guess Fang Duobing has to marry him now

I really hope that he actually said that

Yes, please do slam him into a tree and then feel him up

YAY! Soon they will solve crime together

That was a lot of fun. I'm not used to seeing Cheng Yi in a more comedic role. I'm used to him being all stoic and pining

[lizzie-is-here]

christmas event!

character: bucky x fem!reader

summary: december 16 tends to bring memories for a certain ex-winter soldier

warnings: violence, anxiety attack, trauma, bucky being sad, murder

a/n: was this requested? no. is it on my prompt list? no. but i wrote it on the plane and am literally posting it during my layover so lmao hope y’all enjoy 🫶🫶🫶

Christmas is one of your favorite times of the year. Something about the lights, the snow, and the nostalgia has you setting up decorations right after Halloween.

All credit to him, Bucky tries his best when it comes to Christmas. It’s fun, but it tends to bring back memories of Rebecca and his mom, as well as constant reminders of just how much everything has changed.

But he loves you, so he loves Christmas.

The challenge comes in the week before. It's late in the evening when he turns on the TV. He’s bored, and just wants you home.

You’re running around shopping for ribbon, since you realized last-minute that the ribbon you already had didn’t match your wrapping paper. Bucky doesn’t really get why it matters. He wrapped Sam and Steve’s gifts in trash bags this year.

The TV isn’t offering up much. Endless Hallmark movies that neither of you like and holiday baking shows that you both promised to only watch together.

His eyes almost slip over it.

December 16: the Mysterious Deaths of Howard and Maria Stark

Bucky can’t swallow the lump in his throat. The world knows nothing about his involvement, of course, but that doesn’t make it easier.

The guilt had been eating at him before you came along. You showed him that he didn’t have to be guilty, that he could live and grow. He never even planned to ask you out. Falling in love with you just came along with your friendship.

He knows you would advise against watching the documentary. But you aren’t here. And a little bit of curiosity wouldn’t hurt.

That notion is cured the moment he clicks on the channel. It’s a barely-censored crime scene photo, that, though grainy, is clear enough to see the blood all over the inside of the car.

Two bodies are slumped in their seats.

He can feel Maria fighting against his old arm as he choked her. The way Howard’s nose collapsed in on itself with a single punch. The serum in the trunk, the motorcycle he used to ride away.

Every detail is as clear as day. Each one opens new questions. The ones that Bucky falls asleep in your arms to avoid. The ones he doesn’t even want to think about around you, lest they somehow taint you.

But you aren’t here.

So he spirals.

———————————————————————

“Bucky? I’m back,” you call. You have so many boxes in your arms that you don’t spot him on the couch enveloped in some show.

You frown as you set the boxes on the counter. “Baby?”

No response. Until you peer around the makeshift tower.

“Hey, what’s going on?” you chuckle. “What’re you-“

“No one knows how the Starks died. But many believe that the flimsy cover-up of a car accident is hiding a much more sinister truth. Ms. Stark’s autopsy showed signs of severe bruising around the neck, as well as asphyxiation and a struggle. Some even claim that the Winter Soldier-“

You turn the show off.

“James. Are you okay?” The use of his real name startles him a bit.

“Yeah, I was just…” Bucky can’t offer an explanation. He takes a shaky breath. “Just browsing.”

Offering a sad smile and a weak laugh, you sit next to him. “Browsing the true crime channel?”

He shrugs. His eyes are still on the screen, as if he can see the gorey imagery.

You don’t push further. Instead, you take his hand, lead him to the kitchen, and you start making dinner together.

Bucky really tries to put up good conversation. Your night shouldn’t be a downer just because he chose to watch that stupid show. Yet, he can’t manage more than a few sentences.

You gently set a hand on his arm to grab a plate from behind him, and it just reminds his of how Maria Stark clawed at his metal one so desperately in her last moments.

A motorcycle passes by outside and he can practically see the long ride back to the HYDRA base.

Eventually, he gives up and falls silent.

It’s only later that night, when you’re laying in bed, that he speaks again.

The two of you are intertwined. It’s like Bucky’s convinced that, if he lets you go, he’ll fall right back into that spiral.

It’s heartbreaking. The way he clings to you.

You’ll always want to offer support, but it hurts to see him so consumed by this.

What he says hurts even more.

“I don’t think I’m a good person,” he whispers into your shoulder. His thoughts are too scrambled to hear the way you sniffle.

You pause, gathering yourself before responding.

“Well, I’ve known a lot of bad people,” you begin. “And I’d like to think I know you pretty well. There’s not much crossover there.”

“If you weren’t a good person, if you were ‘bad’, you wouldn’t be worrying about it. Sure, this guilt shouldn’t be on you. You didn’t have control. But it proves my point.”

“You’re not a bad person, Jamie. I promise.”

He can’t express how much it means to him. He’s relieved and still drowning in worry all at once. There’s one more thing.

“And what if you’re wrong?”

Pressing a kiss to his temple, you exhale softly.

“Then we can be bad people together.”

You both fall asleep like that, entwined in every way. Hiding from the world in each others’ arms as endless flurries cover the streets of Brooklyn.

But not before you grab your phone, and send a quick text to a certain Captain that still feels like he owes the brunet for his new suit.

And in the morning, that documentary is nowhere to be found.

[justrainandcoffee]

Like roses and bread (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc + Luca Changretta) [Part 1.]

«Crime sometimes smells like roses and bread...»

Alfie Solomons x Rose Coldwell (ofc) masterlist

Summary: Crime not always involved murder. Sometimes it's something harmless for the rest of the world, like money laundering. The problem is that now, a private detective is behind them and for the first time maybe they're about to be exposed. The couple needs to be smarter than Detective Changretta, something not easy at all. Not even with the help of Alfie's ex: Tommy Shelby.

Warnings: None. || Next chapters Tommy will be part of it.

Words: 1.8 k || Series Masterlist

2021

A bald man was sitting in front of Detective Changretta. The day before he called him asking for an appointment and Luca agreed.

The man was in his 40s and his clothes were smart. He tried to hide it, but Luca could see an expensive gold watch and his perfume was clearly one of the finest you could find.

Something about him disgusted Luca. He was arrogant and the kind of man who thinks he's superior to the rest of the humankind.

The kind of man Luca despised.

Luca's orange cat named Dante jumped on the desk and the man tried to push it but when Luca stand up, the man thought it better.

"If you don't like my cats, Mr. Ferguson, then you should've read the sign on my door first. If I were you, I'll think twice before trying to do it again."

"I'm allergic."

"Not my problem. There's the door, go to another place, find another detective. There are thousands."

Ferguson shook his head. "You're the best, that's what people say. My boss needs the best."

"Yes, your boss. Talk to me about him. Who's your daddy?"

His client gritted his teeth. If the detective weren't so prestigious, then Ferguson could spit on that face. Luca Changretta was nothing but a cockroach compared to him. Fuck him and his ugly cats. And yet, Ferguson answered to him.

"It doesn't matter who he is. He wants to remain anonymous. The thing that matters is the people who you need to investigate."

"The owner of the Inn: Alfred Solomons." Luca checked the notes he wrote the day before.

"Yes. And his woman."

"Just two civilians. I don't investigate people who just work, Ferguson."

"That's the problem. They're not just two civilians…at least him. We don't know the woman but we suspect that she's his accomplice."

"Of what exactly?"

"He stole money from my boss' account." Ferguson, cleared his throat "last year, during the quarantine. In June."

"Really? How?"

"Solomons played dirty. My boss didn't know the kind of man he is. Solomons is a corrupt man!" One of the veins in his head was throbbing.

"And so is your boss. I don't think he's a little lamb."

"How dare you! He's a good man, a man who cares about people."

"Yes, sure." Luca rolled his eyes "Do you know I'm not cheap, Ferguson? Don't you? High quality equals high price. I want 60% in advance plus extra cash because I'm about to be a father, so, my baby needs a present. I know you can afford it. Do it for her."

Luca stared at him. Ferguson disliked him and it was mutual but he needed the job and that's why he accepted the case. It was true that he was going to be a father. His ex wife was pregnant and the baby was his. Despite they were exes, one night they shared a moment together and that same night she got pregnant. Now, eight months later, Cathy was waiting to arrive in their lives. And for Luca, both mother and daughter, deserved the best.

Ferguson gave him a cheque, before standing up and walking towards the door "Just do your job, detective Changretta."

"Just don't be an asshole, Ferguson."

Never trust a person who doesn't like cats, thought Luca. And Ferguson, clearly, disliked cats.

.

In the same city, but far away, Rose were working on their new place. The inn "The Wandering Jew" was open and Alfie was, of course, still his owner. But at the same time they opened a bakery months ago called "Cyril's cakes."

It was a project that both of them thought about during  2020 and finally it was real. And it was quite successful, too. They had to hired another baker to help Alfie while Rose was in charge of the customers.

Nicely decorated, delicate colours and always smelling like fresh bread, "Cyril's cakes" was famous for having a statue of Cyril itself. People, kids especially, used to take pictures next to it. The real dog was never there, so, for customers that was the nearest they could be to him.

That particular morning, she smiled when saw Alfie crossing the door. They've been together for over a year now and even when it was quite recently, it felt like much more than that.

Alfie removed his mask to gave her a kiss. COVID was still a real thing and every precaution was necessary. Still, he didn't want to waste another minute to greeted her. Not that she resisted him.

"Fucking missed you. Horrible day," she let him put his arms around her waist "Karens everywhere."

"Story of my life," he responded, kissing her now blonde hair. "I'm here now, love. Anything new?"

She shook her head. It was an ordinary day and apparently it wasn't going to change. In fact, the whole week was ordinary. Until, it wasn't anymore.

That morning at the bakery had been the calmest of the week, which Rose was grateful for, considering that dealing with difficult customers took a lot of her energy. Of the list of people who had placed an order for that day, five of the six had already gone to pick up their cakes. So only one remained. The rest of the customers were just casuals who were just dropping in to buy something before going on their way to work or back home.

Rose was texting her brother when a tall, thin man made her lift her head. His curious hazel eyes were looking around him and had a mysterious aura. Behind his mask, Rose could notice that he was smiling.

"Good afternoon, miss."

"Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you?"

Luca looked at her. He assumed that she was Alfie Solomons' girlfriend although, for the moment, he knew nothing about her. Not even the name but he did know that the woman worked there.

"I ordered a cake two days ago. I'm Vicente Young." Luca said. He used his father's name and his ex's last name to cover his real identity.

There was the last of those who had placed an order. It was a chocolate cake with cherries, simple but tasty. She asked him to wait while she went to the refrigerator at the back of the bakery. Luca just nodded.

There was nothing in particular that caught his attention and definitely if what Ferguson said was true, then the evidence wasn't going to find it there. Still, pretending to be looking at his phone, Luca snapped several pictures of the place. Including Rose. Luca tucked his device into his pocket just as the man of interest appeared behind her.

Alfie Solomons was there. Wearing a flour covered apron that he took off and left on the back of the chair where Rose was sitting moments before.

"I have to go with Ollie," he said "the boy doesn't know how much one plus one is. But it's all done."

"Ok. I'll see you at home later then. Take care of yourself. Love you."

"Love you too. See you."

Alfie barely glanced at Luca as he passed, just gave a nod of his head by way of greeting and continued walking out of there.

"Your husband?" Luca smiled amicably, trying to take information away from her.

"No," Rose replied, letting out a chuckle "We've only known each other for a year."

"So you met during the pandemic?"

"Yes. Long story. I was stranded in London and during that time I met him and well, a year later here I am."

"A good 2020, then, more than most people can say. He's the one who's in charge of baking?"

"Yes. Cooking in general is not really my best ability, let alone baking. But he's really good and enjoys it," Rose's phone on the counter began to vibrate. The incoming call cut off the conversation between Luca and her.

Luca pretended to look for money or a card in his wallet to pay for the cake while she took the call. The detective didn't know who was on the other end of the line but clearly the woman had been forced to give her name and in the process, Luca had saved himself a step in finding out her identity. So Alfie Solomons was dating Rose Coldwell who, according to her, had been stranded in London the previous year and had been there ever since. The detective was still amazed at how easy it was to get information if you knew how. People, as a rule, were too trusting.

Luca said goodbye to her after paying and left. For a first meeting that wasn't bad at all. In addition to the two names of the people he was interested in he had gotten a third: an Ollie who he would find out who he was. He needed to go back to his office and use one of his whiteboards exclusively for this case he called "bread and roses."

There were times when the work was repetitive, but this didn't seem to be one of them. If there really was something illegal behind this recent pairing then there were also more people involved than just the two of them. There were always more people, the issue was who. And finding out was the best part of it all.

He thought about going to see Aveline. But at that hour, Linnie was sure to be taking care of her sick mother so he decided to see her later and ask her personally if she needed anything. For the time being, he would go back to the office .

.

The sun had been out for at least half an hour. Cyril's cakes was already closed for customers and Rose was ready to finally rest on her couch, cuddling next to Alfie. That was the best part of the day. Rose had secured the door and was pulling down the blind when something that looked like a rock hit her shoulder, causing her to groan in pain. But when she turned to see what was happening, she only saw a hooded figure running away.

"What the…"

The rock on the floor was wrapped in paper and she picked it up. Only two words were written on it:

Enough to make her heart beat fast. We know.

Rose quickly got into the car and drove home. Now she really needed to see Alfie.

We know.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Kitten

First posted: March 22, 2019

Focuses on: Bruce Wayne and the Fam (plus a new addition)

Favorite bookmark: "GIVE BRUCE A BABY GIRL!!!! HE IS A DESTINED GIRL DAD AND DESERVES MORE DAUGHTERS!!!! AND HE NEEDS A BABY!!!!!!"

Tier: This is #11 in terms of hits and bookmarks?? How?? #9 in terms of kudos? #19 in comments?????? #14 in subscriptions. I am baffled by this.

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Apparently by this point I had secured a friendship with @audreycritter because she was the one who told me about the existence of Helena Kyle, Selina's daughter, and some comic book nonsense about her maybe or maybe not being Bruce's daughter also and how in some universes Bruce helps her get adopted out and no??? J'refuse????? This is the kind of canon nonsense fic was made to fix.

The decision was a spontaneous one. Rare, for Bruce, but not as rare as some might think. Nor were his decisions—including this one—as free from consideration as the label “spontaneous” might imply. While it was true that Bruce liked to put more deliberate, conscious thought into his life choices, the pieces had already been there, facts lurking in his subconscious like mayfly larva. When the moment had arisen, those facts had sprouted wings and coalesced into a swarm. 

As anyone following along has clocked, the majority of my fics start with the author going "Now let me explain something I need you to understand."

Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have a history of making this kind of choice before.

We stan a self-aware man.

He wouldn’t make the same mistakes as before, even if it had taken him multiple times to learn his lesson.

I do want to write that fic someday. I had a specific framework mentally charted out that would partly involve Dick learning about Jason Todd's arrival. Someday.

“Bruce!” Dick’s voice was bright and warm, flooding through the interior like sunshine.

Bruce Wayne loves Dick Grayson so. freaking. much.

He could hear Dick shifting, probably settling against a wall or filing cabinet, before prodding, “No offense, but you’re not one for mid-day, no-reason calls. What’s up?”

Ah, that familiar "okay, who died" anxiety provoked by the unexpected call of someone who doesn't do unexpected calls.

“Bruce, tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard.” Dick’s voice was flat and preternaturally calm, a detective arriving at the scene of a crime, analyzing and struggling to withhold judgement.

Dick: oh no who died

Dick, two seconds later: oh my god not again

“You were my first call.” Bruce offered the fact quickly, an olive branch to shelter under. He kept one hand on the wheel, one hand on the fussing baby in the backseat, and his focus on getting through this call. “I know I… haven’t handled this sort of thing well before. With you.”

Whatever else he may be, Bruce Wayne is a Dad Who Tries!!!!!

He was fumbling, words turning to sludge on his lips, gumming up with guilt and regret. It was always like that, for him. It was one of the reasons Bruce preferred the cowl. No one expected heartfelt speeches from a wraith out of Gotham’s darkest nightmares. Kids, though. Kids expected those sorts of things from their parents.

Always my favorite version of Bruce, this uneloquent and painfully aware version. Also, ironically, as best I remember this entire scene was one of the easier things I've written. I just watched it happen and took dictation.

He still had days with each of his children when seeing them at the breakfast counter or curled up in the den surprised him. That’s a living thing, he would think, and it’s mine, and he would be overwhelmed once more.

Literally me with my cats. The bit right before this about the choice crashing over him like a wave and taking him by surprise even years after the fact is a thing that happens to me. I adapt really quickly in the moment to various changes and then get hit with delayed, extended surprise. (But Bruce's literal surprised thoughts are me re: my cats.)

“As sure as I’ve ever been,” Bruce replied, and even he wasn’t sure which meaning he was reaching for.

Ah, duality. It's fun to think about which he might mean and which Dick might assume.

Still, it was a relief to have Alfred greet him at the door as if this were just another ordinary day and Bruce was not standing with his neck bent as a small child tugged on fistfuls of his hair.

What an an adorable art piece this would make. Not that I'm hinting. I just see it so clearly.

She was looking around with sedate interest, calm but alert, a monarch overlooking her domain. Or, Bruce realized with wry amusement, a cat eyeing a new box.

Please also know she's doing that little unbalanced head wiggle babies do when they're old enough to hold their head upright on their own but young enough to not do it well.

Bruce had planned on gathering all his children in the den, explaining as briefly as he could the circumstances of the baby’s arrival, and letting them make each other’s acquaintance. But his day had yet to go to plan, so why start now.

Drily wry Bruce is always so fun to write. He doesn't get to be as overtly funny as his kids, but I enjoy the humor.

It was an uncomfortable maneuver, since he had to bend further, almost double, to ease the tugging on his scalp until he could loose those little hands.

big man little baby BIG MAN LITTLE BABY

“I already have a sister,” he pointed out. Bruce was inclined to describe it as petulantly, but Damian managed to keep his bottom lip sucked in, if only just.

Damian: I claim none of you

Damian, confronted by a girl baby: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BELOVED SISTER

also he's jus' a babyyyy

Damian recoiled further, and Bruce let Batman fall from his shoulders like a loosened cape.

can't get enough of this crap

Bruce wrapped his arm around Damian’s middle and pulled the boy into his side. Damian turned away so he couldn’t look at the baby, who was gabbling to herself as she gummed on Bruce’s thumb. Bruce rested his jaw against Damian’s temple, both to keep the boy still and to keep his voice low. The Manor was the securest place in Gotham, other than the Cave, but he would not risk this.

Sometimes writing the logistics of physicality is so difficult, but when it works for me, boy does it work.

Bruce let the question settle against his skin like mist before answering the same way he would again and again for years to come. “She is now.” He didn’t know. He suspected Selina truly didn’t either. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter, in the same way it didn’t matter that his blood didn’t course through Dick’s veins, that he wasn’t responsible for Jason’s broad shoulders or Tim’s blue eyes or Cassie’s dark hair or Duke’s dimples. They were his. And now this child was, too.

I think, in canon, she's supposed to be his, maybe. Don't know for sure, don't really care, and I don't think Bruce would either, as stated above.

“You will be her big brother,” Bruce continued softly. “That is a solemn charge that you cannot take lightly. As closest to her in age, she’ll look up to you. As she grows, she’ll mimic you—your words, your actions, your behaviors. Which means you’ll be in a unique position, perhaps more than any of us, to influence the person she becomes. Do you understand?”

10000% shamelessly used this exact tactic on a nibling when they acquired a younger sibling.

That was something new, the idea of being able to name a child himself.

Isn't that fun! I love names and naming things. I'm delighted he gets this opportunity. (More on this in a minute.)

Somehow, choosing a name felt like a larger responsibility than all of his former child-rearing experience put together. My car is called the Batmobile, Bruce thought despairingly as he watched his children watch each other.

Did I mention that I love drily deadpan Bruce? That line still makes me laugh.

“So does she do anything?” Tim asked. He was eyeing the baby in the same way he might a particularly florid insect—with interest, scientific remove, and no small amount of wariness. Cass wrinkled her nose but didn’t comment. “She’s a baby,” Duke pointed out with the typical fond exasperation he had picked up once the shine of the Manor had worn off. “What do you expect her to do?”

I loved trying to figure out how each kid would react and if there were ways they might respond to the new baby that would be surprising but still sensible. I'm not sure if I managed that, but I'm still pleased with how they all ended up, this weird little family of only children.

Bruce’s brain made a sparking noise, like a fork left in the microwave.

BZZT DING DING A DING A BZZT DING

“Uh, yeah? Got back on Monday. Why?” Why, why, why. Why were his children so distrustful, that’s what Bruce wanted to know. 

*taps the exhausted dry humor Bruce sign*

Bruce opened his eyes and stared at the baby shrieking inches from his face. Duke stood behind her, his hands clamped under her arms, and stared back impassively as she squealed into the phone.

Bruce has horrible children.

“B, what the—“ Bruce fought the urge to cover the baby’s ears, even though he was the only one who could hear the voice on the other end.

I love this stupid family.

There was an ominous gurgle from the baby. Duke looked at her, then at Bruce, then quickly handed her over. “Not it.”

I have literally watched hundreds of children in my life, related and unrelated. I have changed one (1) diaper, under duress, and immediately and deliberately forgot everything I was taught. J'refuse.

Helena, meaning bright, shining light, Bruce had explained almost bashfully to Selina. Selina, who had left town the same night Helena went home to the Manor but who saw each of Bruce’s texts and left the read receipt on so he would know. Selina, whose name meant moon. So she’ll always know where she came from.

Remember I said later? Later is now. As we were already spitting on canon, I was more than willing to change the kiddo's name if needed, but it turns out DC (I will be charitable and assume purposefully) chose a lovely, symbolic name that matched beautifully in a way that felt like Bruce. So I kept it. So Bruce did get to name a kid, but also not really because comics did it for him.

The legislation that he’d helped champion regarding the treatment of minors in the media hadn’t hurt either.

I think this was around the time there was a flurry of papparazzi nonsense and talk about this IRL with... Jolie kids or Cruise kids or something, I don't remember. Some grown adults being awful and pushy around famously related minors.

With each adoption, the celebrations had gotten smaller but more precious, the attendees a guard set in place, their names like a chant against hardship and a hymn of thankfulness.

I love this line, but I also think it's wrong now. I think the older Bruce gets, the more firmly he cements the relationships he trusts the most, but also the more he meets people deserving of that trust. Loner, low-key terrified Bruce wouldn't have held a gala to celebrate Dick's appearance. He would have gone full feral shields up. Maybe with Jason he would have given half a thought to expectations and appearances, but with a street kid like Jason, he would've wanted that child shielded from the horrible people in his social circle. And so on and so forth. By now he has his friends, but also his kids' friends, their allies both in domino and out.

Bruce vowed it, down in the deepest part of his heart, the core of him that let him lead a team of aliens and demigods, that made a double life possible and dressing as an armored animal a feasible life choice. A life choice he would not let the baby in his arms emulate.

I too sometimes have a deadpan sense of humor. Shocking, I know.

I take that final line not so much as full self-criticism but an acknowledgement that Bruce's children are all driven to the caped life in the same way he was—by trauma and loss and the need to fix Gotham—and all came to him with that drive already installed. With Helena, being separated from Selina is a trauma, even for an infant, but as is stated throughout the fic, Selina will remain fully present and involved as much as she wishes to be. And Bruce will brave hell and high water and even worse to keep this child from experiencing the kinds of trauma that brought his other children to him and into their other life.

She was already a wonder to him, his little moonbeam, a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a taffeta-heavy party dress with a matching headband.

The bookmark was right. Let this man be a girldad!!!! (I'd briefly considered writing a followup to this, where Cass had to sort complicated emotions about not being the only girl in the house. Never got enough reaction in the early days, though. Something about it or the tags or something attracted a larger than usual contingent of "okay but Bruce is a bad dad" crowd. Bleh.)

He realized he looked like his father, but with airbrushed grey hairs and crow’s feet lines that Thomas Wayne had never had the time to gather. He realized he looked happy.

me @ me: ow????

As stated in the before-cut stats, this ranks decently high in terms of all my fics????? Somehow????????? I can usually get a decent bead on reception just based on how option a fic shows up in my inbox or people reference it on Tumblr or whatever, but this one apparently was a sleeper to only me. Stunned. Bewildered.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Share some stalking heroes 👀

HAPPY TO.

Historical:

Obviously, Valentine Napier from Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Sin, He Who Lives in Walls.

Mick Trewlove does a bit of stalking when he's staking out how to steal Aslyn (in order to ruin his half-brother's life) in Beyond Scandal and Desire by Lorraine Heath.

Magnus literally hunts Melissa down like a dog in S.M. LaViolette's Melissa and The Vicar (after she leaves him).

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale has an EXTREMELY stalkery, villainous hero and I love the degree to which he's just a creep lol. Like, the heroine is all "... how does he know these things" and the answer is "baby girl, he's been watching you sleep probably". TW: the first encounter is noncon (forced marriage consummation). Kinsale is very true to 14th century approaches to consent, but Elena does very much take the reins in the rest of it.

In a different way, the preceding novel (set 10 years before) For My Lady's Heart is also a stalkery hero book. The hero is a knight whose wife left him to join a convent (lmao) and when he's dropping her off there he sees this beautiful (married) princess who notices that he's attracted to her and calls him out... but when he unexpectedly has to give up ALL his money in order to commit his wife to the order--a thing he doesn't want to do!--the princess does him a solid and gives him some cash to get on his feet. And as a result, he becomes obsessed with her, pledges himself to her, and serves from afar in her name for like. 13 years. Then they finally meet again and it turns out she's kind of a bitch! (In the best way.)

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway, of course, has Cull, who watches Pippa while she's out doing her vigilante shit and is like, ready to run interference and who knows maybe smell her hair.

Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt of course has the truly insane and stalkery Maximus. Like Valentine, he refuses to call his heroine by her actual name lmao.

The Wolf and The Widlflower by Stacy Reid. Wolf Duke Duke of Wolverton is obviously a duke who lived with wolves for years, and after he realizes that his new shrink, a young man, is actually a woman in disguise (a fact he realizes when he SMELLS. HER. WOMANLY. SCENT. IYKWIM.) he's determined to catch her out lol.

Hotel of Secrets by Diana Biller has a hero who's admittedly a literal spy, but he does start lowkey stalking the heroine because he feels CRIME MAY BE AFOOT. And then he walks in on her... doing things alone.... and he goes "don't stop" and I lost my mind.

Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas gives me this vibe because McKenna is so focused on revenge against Aline that it basically turns into this obsession with everything about her and what it takes to break her down. Like, McKenna gives strong murder vibes and I do find it hot.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin gives me this vibe because he's like... keeping her captive for political reasons but you can literally see on the page when it starts to shift from politics to obsession lol.

Contemporary-ish:

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli. I mean, Enzo watches Gia through security cameras while keeping her in a cage after setting up a faked death by bombing a bar after he buys in an Aperol spritz. Peak stalking.

Mafia Target--the book after Mafia Madman, m/m assassin/target... Alessio is literally stalking Giulio for months before they actually meet and he's obsessed with him and it's AMAZING.

All of Kresley Cole's Gamemaker books involve stalking but The Player is maybe the most intensely stalkery book of all time. I can't even tell you how. That would give it away. Trust and believe. This is a STALKER.

Sierra Simone writes some very possessive heroes. Mark from her Lyonesse series, though (starting with Salt in the Wound) gives strong stalker vibes. Partly because he clearly knows way more about Tristan and Isolde than either of them realize and has known it for a while lol. Also, he literally skulks around ruining people's lives, so. That's just WHO HE IS. And I do love it.

Paranormal:

Just shouting out the fact that every single IAD hero is a stalker, but special notes for Lothaire of Lothaire (on EVERY LEVEL, follows Ellie around for years before the book even begins, turns invisible to follow her around in his apartment, watches her from the shadows, has to carry her lingerie around in his pocket so he can deeply inhale it to cope); Cade from Dark Desires after Dusk (followed Holly around for years before the book began... again lmao); Trehan from Shadow's Claim (the MISTS!!!!).

Dragon Bound by Thea Harrison has a heroine who steals a penny from a dragon shifter's lair, and he literally hunts her down like a dog lmao.

[postguiltypleasures]

My Peak TV Journey *Shining Vale*

I watched both seasons of Shining Vale late last year right before it was cancelled and removed from Starz streaming service. I loved it, but thought that if it had been more popular it would have inspired some kind of backlash where it would involve jeering at the fans for clearly being bad people for cheering for such a harmful  leading character and not careful depiction of mental illness. It would also likely have staunch defenders, though I am not sure I would have been vocally there. But it's not, so I should say how much I liked it and wish there was more.

So let’s talk about the cast which is headed by Courtney Cox (also a producer), Greg Kinnear respectively as Pat and Terry Phelps, all of whom I’ve lived for a while. I’m a more recent fan of Gus Birney, who was great on Dickenson as Jane, (the young hot widow) as their daughter Gaynor, and Dylan Gage who plays their son, Jake.

This is the story of Phelps family that moves from Brooklyn to Shining Vale, Connecticut in the aftermath of the mother Pat’s affair with a contractor. Terry found the house and purchased it without the any of the rest of the family’s input. This does create suspicions especially in regards to the real estate agent Robyn Court, who is played by Sherilyn Fenn (always a joy to see). Also delightful to see Merrin Dungey as Pat’s editor/friend who balances these rolls in funny ways. And then the alway delightful Judith Light shows up as Pat’s mother, who has her own history with mental illness and creates more interesting mirrors between Pat and Gaynor. 

But I’ve been neglecting the series other star, Mira Sorvino! Sorvino plays multiple characters over the seasons starting with Rosemary, who’s a ghost, a demon or figment of Pat’s imagination who “helps” write her long awaited second novel. Her first was an erotic romp with the goal of self definition. The second novel, which is released early in the second season is very different, though still have some filthy bits because that’s Pat’s “brand”. 

The house is TARDIS like in that they keep finding new rooms that were otherwise hidden, most notably a tiki bar that becomes an important location for many scenes, as well as a harbinger of the kinds of substance abuses. It also hints at the building’s secret history as an insane asylum in the 19th century. This history was only partially unraveled in the two seasons that were made.

In addition to liking the cast, I like the series creators Jeff Astrof and Sharon Horgan. Astor created the two season true crime parody sitcom Trial and Error which I still wish had more time. Horgan co-created and started in Catastrophe and Bad Sisters, both of which I’ve written about here. I kind of want to divide the qualities of the series between the two creators, though I know that it is at best misleading. The series has a melange of horror films reference that was like the  melange of true crime narratives that Astor worked with in Trial and Error. All the things about the dysfunctional married couple and parental relationships with children I associate with Horgan’s work. (Not to mention her treatment of Pat’s alcohol abuse is similar to that of her character’s on Catastrophe)

The references to other horror films are direct, and what I saw of how they add up to something intriguingly different. First as the title and concept of a parent-writer loosing their mind over their latest writing project and the history of their new home suggests, there are plenty of references to The Shining. At least in the first season. The second season, in which Pat’s menopause is reversed by new neighbor Ruth’s (also played by Mira Sorvino) herbal tea, is more inspired by Rosemary’s Baby. There are also liberal references to The Omen and The Exorcist, among other films. And plenty of opportunity to wonder how “real” what we are seeing, especially in the second season where there is an increase in cartoonish-ness. Over the course of the season multiple people get hit by a bus and explode while the bus doesn’t stop. It gets funnier every time. Going in the opposite direction from funny to startling is a gag involving a mysterious Walkman. Three members of it find it at random times, put it on, each hearing a different song, but all doing the same dance. I will forever wonder where they were going with this. 

Tonally the closest comparison I can think is Evil. Sad there will be neither of them soon. 

[dragonmuse]

I’m loving “I may be bad” especially the thought that in the end Izzy kind of became the sugar baby.

My question is, since the crime world and the bar internet, do Pete and Lucius ever meet up in this au? Does Oluwande get involved in the bar?

(Thank you so much for all your amazing writing and creativity!)

Oh yeah, the sugar tables sugar turn on him! So, you asked before I threw out the Oluwande/Jim answer, but yes, they do get involved in the bar. Lucius and Jim have to...follow up. On things. Lucius takes on the bartending job to be there and Jim has some fun knife throwing on stage and they just take up the positions they have in the mainverse a few years late and what started as a sort of surveillance project just becomes fun.

As to Pete...

"Get you a drink?" Lucius offers as the cute guy with bright blue eyes comes out of the dressing room, wiped clean of drag.

"Just a coke, thanks," Pete smiles at him. "How's your first night going?"

"Pretty great. Fun place. I liked the way you juggled those balls."

"Yeah?" the guy laughs and it's warm. Lucius likes that.

"Mmhmm, I appreciate a man with rhythm."

There's a wedding ring on the guy's finger when he accepts the glass with a warm, "Thanks."

"Married long?"

"Just a few months. Met him here, actually. Roach, the one with the chainsaw? His cousin. Nico."

He says the name with a sweet reverence. It's true love. Lucius suppresses an annoyed groan.

"Yeah? That's sweet. What's he do?"

"He's a pediatric nurse at St. Sebastian's."

Of fucking course he is.

"That's awesome," he says. "Must be a tough job, being around sick kids."

"Harder than mine. But he doesn't let it show much."

Out of curiosity, Lucius finds the man. Nico is disgustingly clean. Truly just a solid human being that enjoys his job, generally respected by his co-workers and has no history of complaints. He has friends, calls his parents regularly and there are pictures online of a small wedding, they're there in the background and seem to like Pete.

"Can you believe it?" Lucius asks Jim, showing them the picture of the guy tending to a small child. "Mythical creature."

"What do you care?" Jim gives him a sideways glance. "Pete's fine, but you can have whoever."

"I don't know," Lucius looks down at his phone, swipes away the picture of Nico. "It's just...annoying. Like something stuck in my teeth."

"Go home, Luc," they advised. "Take a bite out of your own man."

Lucius doesn't bite Izzy. Much. But it is good advice. Being home reminds him of what he wants. Izzy doesn't make him work for it. Izzy is ready and easy and thrilled and in love. Lucius can bathe in that as much as he likes and get easy sex.

He doesn't need a man with bright blue eyes that would probably want to talk about feelings and have someone listen to him earnestly. Just thinking about it gives him a headache.

A heartache.

"How was your day?" Lucius asks as he traces the edges of a scratch on Izzy's thigh.

"Good," Izzy plays a hand through Lucius' hair, "figured out where that money got misplaced. Sent you and Jim an email. Error in interest. Bank is taking care of it."

"You're the best," he kisses Izzy's skin right where it's slightly broken and bleeding.

"Do you have to go out tonight?"

Technically, he has a shift at the bar, but he's already trained the Swede to cover for him. Stede doesn't really keep track of the schedule, distracted and a little heartbroken, poor thing.

"No," he decides. "I want to stay in with you. Let's finish that docuseries."

"Want me to make popcorn?"

"Yes."

And he can tell Izzy is over the moon that he's stayed, even if he expresses it by just laying his head on Lucius' lap.

Lucius is a greedy person. He can have Izzy and want another. Many others sometimes. The voracious void in him would happily swallow down other lives.

He watches Pete in the days that follow, looks for cracks where he could get in. But none appear. And eventually, as he usually does, Lucius loses interests. The bartending exposes him to dozens of interested men and he makes good use the single stall bathrooms.

Nico comes in sometimes. Lucius finds ways not to wait on him. It's too tempting and Jim would be furious if he upsets their little charade now. They're having a thing over Oluwande, and it's kind of cute, Lucius has never seen them that way before.

He lets them have their new little love story. He leaves Nico alone. He flirts with Pete the same amount he flirts with anyone else and then not at all.

He goes home to Izzy and reminds himself of what he wants.

It's fine.

It's enough.

Which doesn't quell the jealous hunger, but he's used to that by now. He uses it in other ways.

Like acquiring the bar, bit by careful bit. Jim likes that. And they are so hard to buy for, it makes for a perfect birthday gift.

[lxvenderhxzehv]

(Daniel Craig) [The Provider]. Please welcome [Oliver Thompson (He/Him)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [55]-year-old [VISITOR] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [UNEMPLOYED]. They are looking for [Samantha Thompson ] their [DAUGHTER] Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

Name: Oliver Thompson Nicknames: Ollie and Lee Age/DOB: 55 March 20th, 1968 Gender: cis-male He/Him Sexual Orientation: Straight Personality type: The Provider Relationship status: Married Occupation: Unemployed Destination: In Town Role: Hunter Family: Wife, Daughter (Sammie Thompson ~ deceased), Granddaughter (Ava Thompson ~ 9 years old)

Being a dad at 21 was not part of Oliver's plans. Yes, he loved his wife but they were both very career orientated people. So having children was never the plan let alone so early in their lives. By the time he was 21 he was already working for one of the top Law firms in the city, he was married, well off, and he had a beautiful baby girl on the way.

That baby girl was Samantha Thompson, and would grow up to be one of the biggest you tuber's of the this time. Raising Sammie was never easy but Oliver loved her with his whole heart albeit a bit strict and over protective over her but nothing like his Wife. And while they budded heads from time to time he always had her back. So when the time came and she turned 18, her mother and Sammie got into a blow out argument he was powerless to stop her. His baby girl was on her own and he wasn't going to change her mind.

He caught up with her life through her videos, watching Every. Single. Upload. Even following her friend Harvey to see a bit more into her life. He called on occasion but she always seemed preoccupied. When one day and out of nowhere. There was a knock on their door. It was Sammie in a panic crying, carrying a small baby in her arms. Their granddaughter. She begged them to take her in, protect her, keep her away from the lime light. Sammie would provide for her but she just needed some more time and the 9 months wasn't enough. After some convincing of her mother they agreed to let Ava stay with them and raise her. Under one condition, Sammie wouldn't be as involved, she could help with bills and clothes and such and could visit her any time. But Oliver and his wife would be known as Ava's parents and Sammie would be her older sister. Oliver hated the idea and resented his wife for her cruel ultimatum but if it kept Ava safe and Sammie was okay with that then so was he.

Ava was a dream to raise......until she wasn't doing things that were nothing short of concerning. It wasn't until she was about 4 they found out who her father was. Sammie came crying that she once again needed more time. She had everything ready for Ava to come live with her and then an true crime author had written a book that was....sickeningly close to Sammie. Oliver promised Sammie that this would be taken care of. What was the point of having a layer for a father if he couldn't pull some strings. But the more he looked into the more there wasn't much he could do. At best she might be able to fight for custody. So they just decided to keep the same arrangement to keep Ava safe and to keep her a secret from Andrew.

5 years later, Sammie is thriving albeit a little worried her Ex hookup is going to kill her at a moments notice. Scared her daughter is turning into her father. The therapy and medication was helping but she was only 9 this wasn't fair to her. None of this was.

Oliver knew Sammie was gonna be on a convention circuit for a good while but when news broke that she was missing he kicked everything into high gear. Pulling all the stops to try to find her. When her friends Harvey was pronounced missing a few months later as well and his latest Video landed him in west Virginia. Oliver didn't waist anytime. With Ava in tow leaving his wife who had dismissed the whole thing. He began searching and searching and nothing. It wasn't until he heard whispers of a town stuck in time, where people would go in and never come back. He hardly believed it. Making his way down the road he found himself and Ava in Huntsville just a little over a week after the earthquake.

Little does he know, his baby girl is no longer with us.

[kissingdeadgirls]

@togrutahhh tagged me to list my top 5 characters

Cytherea Loveday (the locked tomb) i think she should have done more crimes. the seventh house being a nightmare little reference to the secret history and that not being enough— to mix beauty and terror— but to add the flesh dying and being in pain for 10,000 ceaseless years. that’s my baby girl. (then ianthe, then mercymorn, then asking pyrrha to marry me). her flirting with gideon had me in a chokehold.

Kazuhira Miller (metal gear solid) who doesn’t love a social climbing gutter rat with blood on his teeth! with war crimes as his matrimonial bed, peace walker is completely insane and what he and big boss have going on??? unspeakable. kojima made the story of a japanese ww2 war orphan, son of an american gi, genuinely touching and harrowing. and also just the most repugnant little man ever. every time you balloon a female pow he hoots. i love him. i loved watching him get ridden hard and put away wet by big boss and then lick his boots. simply no notes.

Cornelius Hickey (the terror) rat king of transformation / transgression / transcendence.

Adam Cole (aew) wet rat. everyone loves a bad boy (aged 35). my favourite character is always going to be a little guy who causes problems on purpose. he does really good character work in the ring instead of very splashy cool moves. he was in the most psychosexually obsessed feud with adam page when i started watching, which rewired my brain unfortunately. here’s a match with him and his jock bf vs redragon and adam cole goes out wet as shit as is his want, and absolutely no one else did that.

Kira Nerys (star trek: deep space nine) you don’t have to like ds9, but if you like ds9 and hate kira i believe we have a fundamental difference of opinion that can never be ameliorated. she’s a freedom fighter. she’s always angry. she longs for justice no matter it’s cost. true commitment to what’s right and good. and because ronald d moore is my enemy half her stories involve gul dukat. i love her her your honour.

[lottieurl]

i liked jeff fine in season one genuinely but my god. the saturation of him is too much for me they’re overdoing it with him for sureee and it’s making me dislike him which is unfortunate because i was fine with him in moderation! also YESS you are so correct about the whole. shauna loving the baby thing. like sophie is fantastic she sold that as well as she could like. if i were watching those scenes without the greater context i would’ve bought it fully. but i Do have the context and so i don’t buy it. and GOD i’m mad about them not leaning into pregnancy horror or ??? showing the dead baby?? and this is just a minor thing honestly but i was kind of disappointed that the scene of the yellowjackets all bloody was just a dream like :( i’d been hyped to see what they were doing since they’ve been using it in promo for weeks. similarly to the gen rabies shot. like it was still good don’t get me wrong i loved seeing that regardless of the circumstances but. still. anyway. there were parts of that episode i loved (everything involving misty was a highlight, which i wasn’t expecting!) but. disappointed by the payoff of a major plot line. also you are so correct about jeff -cannibal laura lee anon

yeah god i wish i could get on board and be idk devastated and disturbed by the entire baby related sequence but it just does not work for me. maybe if not for the persistent thought that they were just too scared to lean into true pregnancy horror AND of showing shauna not giving a shit abt the baby i could like this slightly more but it just feels very cowardly to me. like. she can mildly dislike callie and be a shitty parent but like worst crime a woman can commit is hate pregnancy and hate her newborn baby so shauna can't hate hers. and look maybe that's not a subconscious thing guiding showrunners but idk it just feels this way to me