#watching this scene still makes me tear up T_T

[delusionalwriterr]

See Her Smile

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: With Bucky being new to relationships, he’s still trying to learn how to handle things. But how does he handle things when you’re going through something you don’t even know how to handle yourself? 

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: signs of depression, angst, fluff

A/N: GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE DEAD Y’ALL. i missed writing so much, but life keeps giving me reasons not to T_T this fic is based off of See Her Smile from Tick, Tick... Boom! it's been stuck in my head all week, and i couldn't help but write something about it.

Masterlist | Prompt List

–––––

You hear Nat cheer beside you as you watch Steve catch the ball that was thrown to him. “That’s my man!” she exclaims as you take a swig of water, watching the football team as they prepare for an upcoming game. 

This wasn’t your normal scene. If you’d ask your freshman self if she’d be willing to sit in the sweltering heat to watch sweaty men push each other around, she would laugh it off and turn back to binge watching her favorite show on Netflix. It wasn’t until you started dating one of the university’s linebackers, Bucky Barnes, did you even begin to consider watching football matches and turning up to their practices all together. 

“Come on, lighten up! Your man’s over there too,” Nat pipes up, briefly looking over at you before turning back to watch the team. You chuckle as your eyes land on his figure. You couldn’t exactly see his face, but you were able to spot him in the field considering you’ve been dating for about 4 months now. You let out a cheer as you watch him tackle another player to the ground. His head snaps towards the direction of your voice as he stands up.  You can’t see it, but you knew he was smiling. He puts his hand on his chest before pointing at you, his way of saying, “That one’s for you!”

You grin, cheeks heating up at his gesture as you feel your chest swell. Nat turns to you, a sly smirk on her face as she sips her iced coffee. “I take it that things with you two are going well?” she asks, making you tear your attention away from the field. You grin even wider before answering, “Yeah, things are great.”

You have to admit, you’d never think you would end up dating a football player– and when Bucky approached you one night at a random party to ask you out, you halfheartedly said yes, expecting that he would just take you to a random sports bar and try to hook up with you the same night. Fortunately, the date went better than expected with him bringing you to his favorite taco truck downtown and driving you to one of those retro drive-in movie theaters. However, he failed to check what movie they were playing that night and had the both of you watch a random Scandinavian film with no subtitles. In the end, the two of you decided on staying in the car and get to know each other more with the movie long discarded in the background. 

Eventually, you ended up going on a few more dates after that and got to know how sweet he really was. Sure, he was still a jock and was still getting a hang of being in a committed relationship, but you could see him actively put the effort in it so you were more than happy. 

You hear their coach blow his whistle, signaling the end of their practice which prompts you and Nat to jump from your seats and head down to the field to meet Bucky and Steve. Nat gets there first, crashing into Steve’s embrace, almost knocking him over. You laugh at the interaction before your eyes land on Bucky’s. With his helmet off, you have the opportunity to finally see his face. His hair was flat from his helmet with a few strands clinging to his forehead, the eye black on his cheeks smudged due to the sweat, and his mouth stretched into that boyish grin you grew to love. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asks playfully as you approach him. He puts his helmet down to wipe the beads of sweat on his face. “Just looking for some hot jocks to kiss,” you tease, earning a laugh from him before he wraps his arms around your waist. “Find anyone you like?” he plays along. You smile, snaking your arms to the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I got one right here,” you giggle as you pull him into a kiss. It was soft and slow, and you could taste the saltiness of the sweat on his upper lip, but you didn’t care. 

“Hello to you too, dollface,” you hear him mumble between your lips before pulling away.  “I’m taking Steve to that new pizza place that just opened near campus, come with us?” he asks, shaking his head which elicited droplets of sweat to fly towards you much to your disgust. “You’re such a boy for doing that,” you grumbled. “But yeah, count me in.”

He smiles, but before he could get another word in, Nat interjects, “Count me in, too!” 

Bucky shakes his head, “Nuh uh, you’re not invited. Steve told me how sick he was of you and how loud you snore when you sleep.” Nat gasps before playfully hitting Steve in the chest, earning an “ow” from him. “You told Bucky?!” she shrieks, but before she could protest even more, Steve pulls her into a kiss, muttering a quick “I love you”, then runs towards the shower room. Bucky turns back to you, giving you a swift kiss. “Pick you, guys, up in 20.” 

As he was leaving, he looks back over at Nat and lets out a few loud snores, prompting her to throw a handful of dirt towards him. “Screw you, Buchanan!”  

–––––

A few days later, Bucky walks out of the field, his bag hanging from his shoulder, a cold breeze brushing through him as he begins to walk back to campus. “Hey, Buck, solid practice today,” Sam Wilson, one of the tackles, pipes up from behind him. “Yeah, man, good job today,” Bucky replies, giving his teammate a fist bump. “Me and Parker are gonna grab a few drinks, you coming?” 

Bucky laughs, the thought of Parker getting tipsy over a few pints entering his mind. He shakes his head, “I’ll pass tonight, man. Might go see my girl.” 

Sam smirks before clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright, see you around.” 

“Hey, take care of Parker, alright? Don’t want his aunt to find out he got wasted over a few cocktails!” Bucky calls out, earning a cackle from his teammate as he walks away. 

He checks the time to find out practice ended a few minutes early so he sends you a quick message, knowing you’re probably still in class. 

hey doll practice finished early

want me to walk you to your dorm? i should be able to swing by to pick you up from class

He waits for a few minutes before hearing a ping from his phone, gaze immediately falling to the screen. 

no need. didn’t go to class today wasn’t feeling well. 

oh? you want me to bring you some soup?

no its ok. thank u tho

anything for you, baby

do you want me to come over tho? 

maybe next time, bucky. sorry

Bucky frowns, taking notice of the difference in the way you typed. You were colder than usual and you’d usually want to see him even when you weren’t feeling the best. He’s a bit disappointed too, wanting to take care of you until you get better, but knows to respect your wishes. So he brushes it off. 

He shoots you a quick text saying he hopes you feel better soon before messaging Sam to say he’ll catch up with him and Parker in a few. 

Looks like he’ll take up Sam’s offer after all. 

–––––

Bucky cranes his neck over to the bleachers, but frowns when his eyes land on Nat sitting alone. You didn’t come to his practice today. Bucky would’ve been fine about it, but he knows you didn’t have any conflicting classes at this time and you would’ve messaged him beforehand if you weren’t able to come for whatever reason. 

“Maybe she’s still feeling under the weather,” Steve reasons, following his best friend’s gaze towards the seats.  

Bucky nods absentmindedly in response, “Yeah, I guess so.”

He was trying so hard to hide the fact that he was getting increasingly worried. He also doesn’t want to seem too clingy considering you’ve only been seeing each other for a short time. He’s only been in a handful of serious relationships before, and most of them happened when he was still a clueless teenager in highschool. You were the first person he was willing to be fully committed to after a few months of fooling around in college so he definitely does not want to screw things up.

After practice, he asks Nat if she knew where you were only to find out that Nat was just as clueless as he was. With a huff, Bucky fishes his phone out of his pocket. 

missed you at practice today. still feeling sick? 

“Hey,” Steve calls from behind him, Nat trailing closely behind. “Nat and I are gonna go study at the library, see you there?” 

Bucky snorts. “By study at the library you mean get frisky by the shelves at the back? Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” 

Steve laughs as Nat drags him away from the field, patting Bucky’s back comfortingly before fully parting ways. This action goes unnoticed as Bucky’s eyes remain glued to his phone, waiting for your reply. 

A few minutes pass and he grows antsy. He hesitantly types another message. 

baby? 

This time, you read the message, but still don’t reply. Bucky runs his hand through his hair, a sign that he was growing anxious. He looks around the field, desperately trying to find someone to talk to so he could take his mind off of you. To his dismay, the rest of the team either left or were still in the showers. 

Bucky thinks about his next move. 

i’m coming over. 

He quickly stuffs his phone in his pocket and practically sprints over to your dorm, a million things racing in his mind. His chest tightens at the thought of you being in trouble, not really knowing what to expect when he sees you. If he sees you. 

Bucky shakes his head to get rid of the image of him turning up at your dorm only to find it empty– he wouldn’t know where to begin looking for you considering you won’t reply to his messages. This is the first time you acted like this towards him, and Bucky tries to recall everything he’s said to you lately, attempting to think of anything that could have upset you. His pace slows down as he begins to question if he was overthinking things, his mind tricking him into thinking that he was being too clingy and it might turn you off. But with the absence of your replies and the assurance that you’re okay, Bucky’s strides become bigger and he picks up speed towards your dorm. 

A head of brown hair meets his gaze as the door to your apartment swings open upon his knock. “Hey, Wanda,” Bucky greets your roommate, chest heaving and beads of sweat adorning his forehead. “I’m sorry for barging in all of a sudden. Is she..?”

Before he could finish his sentence, Wanda nods, opening the door wider for him to come in. Bucky nods his head as he enters. “She’s in her room,” Wanda mumbles before closing the door behind him. 

Bucky mutters a “thank you” before walking towards your door, about to turn the handle, but hesitates for a second. Slowly taking his hand off the brass knob, he raises a hand and places two soft knocks on the door. “Doll,” he calls, loud enough that he’s sure you hear him, but gentle enough to not startle you. When he doesn’t hear a reply, he continues, “Can I come in?” 

A few seconds later, a soft click from the other side fills his ears. Bucky takes this as a signal to slowly turn the knob and peak inside. He barely caught a glimpse of you walking back to your bed before he sees you pull the covers back to climb in, reassuming the position he figured you were in before you unlocked the door. 

Bucky steps inside and if it wasn’t for him shutting the door behind him, separating the two of you from the noises outside your bedroom, he wouldn’t have heard the sniffles that were coming out of your mouth. Your back was facing him, but he can clearly tell that you were hugging your knees to your chest as you tried to control your breathing, desperately attempting to conceal your cries. 

“Baby…” he breathes, approaching you cautiously and planting himself by your feet. Only then does he catch a glimpse of your face, your eyes puffy and cheeks tinted pink, presumably from crying for an extended period of time. Bucky frowns upon seeing you in this state. He’s seen you cry before, but it was usually from a sad movie or being stressed with homework. He doesn’t know why you are crying now, but he’s determined to find out. He places a hand on one of your calves and begins to rub soothing circles on it. “Did something happen?” 

You shake your head, not trusting your voice as you begin to wipe the tears that were still trickling down your cheeks. “Wanna tell me why you’re crying?” Bucky persists, eyes still fixed on you. You shrug and the room falls silent as you close your eyes.   

Bucky hears you take a deep breath before finally piping up. “Just feeling a little down,” you mumble, voice hoarse and barely loud enough for Bucky to catch. He moves his hand from your calf to one of your feet, giving it a soft squeeze before beginning to slowly press on its sole, easing the tense muscles and giving you a brief moment of peace. 

Bucky tries to think of what to say, but is interrupted by the sound of his phone going off. Clicking his tongue, he grabs his phone to find a text from Pietro.

hey wya? im at the study hall 

Cursing to himself, he suddenly remembers that he and Pietro agreed to meet tonight to work on a project they were partners in. Typing a quick reply to say that he’s on his way, he turns back to you before leaning over to press a kiss on your temple. “We all get blue sometimes, doll. We just gotta hang on, you know?” he attempts to comfort you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I gotta run, promised Pietro we’d do that project tonight. But I hope you feel better soon, baby. If you need anything, just text me, okay?” 

–––––

You don’t text him at all that night. 

In fact, if it wasn’t for the good morning text Bucky sent the next day, Bucky thinks you wouldn’t have texted him at all. Your replies grew colder and you became more distant, and Bucky was suffering. 

“Dude, what’s up? If you’re not busy being a total grump, you’re staring at your phone like you’re expecting something to pop out of it,” Steve points out as he, Bucky, and Nat sit in the cafeteria to have lunch. Bucky grumbles before slamming his phone face down on the table and sliding it away from him. “It’s (Y/N),” he starts, “she’s been acting off for days now.”

Steve and Nat share a look before Nat pipes up, “Have you tried asking her why?” Bucky scoffs. “Well, duh!” Bucky exclaims, running his hands through his hair. “I went over to her’s last night, but she just told me she was just feeling a little down.”

“And what did you say?” Steve asks. Bucky’s eyes meet his friend’s as he sighs. “I told her everyone gets sad and that we should just hang on. I left after that because I had to do that history project with Maximoff.”

The table falls silent and Bucky begins to zone out, thinking that the conversation would end there, but is quickly brought back to reality when something hits him dead center in the face. “Ow!” Bucky shouts as his hand flies up to cradle his nose. His eyes land on the table, a bread roll laying in front of him, causing his gaze to shoot up at the red head sitting across him. “Did you just throw a bread roll at me?” Bucky asks, his eyes wide with disbelief and confusion. 

“Well, duh!” Nat mocks, rolling her eyes at the brunette. “I always thought football players were dumb because of how much trauma their heads go through every game, but you’re on a whole ‘nother level, Buchanan.”

Bucky blinks. “Care to elaborate?”

Nat lets out an exasperated sigh before Steve butts in, “She’s obviously going through something, Buck. You can’t just tell her to suck it up.”

“Hellooooo!” Nat interjects, waving her hand in front of Bucky’s face as if what they were pointing out was the most obvious thing in the world. “She isn’t some jock going through a losing streak or something, actually be there for her, you know?” 

“Would you cut me some slack? It’s the first serious relationship I’ve been in since highschool, I’m still getting a hang of things again,” Bucky glares. He eyes the bread roll in front of him before giving in and grabbing it to take a bite. Nat watches him, a look of disgust adorning her face. 

The three of them sit in silence as Bucky contemplates on what to do. He picks up his phone to see no new messages from you, but his eyes catch the time. He knows you don’t have classes right now, and he figures you would just be in your dorm. He doesn’t want to ruin things with you, so he jolts up from his seat, catching the attention of the couple in front of him. “I’m gonna fix this,” he mumbles to himself before storming out of the cafeteria to head over to you.

“Atta boy!” Steve calls after him.

Bucky can feel his heart in his throat as he shakily knocks on your front door. To his surprise, you answer the door this time. His mouth starts to form a smile, but quickly turns into a frown when he takes in your form. At first, his heart skipped a beat when he noticed that you were wearing one of his shirts which was too big for you, the hem of it ending just by your thighs, and the bottom of one of his boxers peeking through it. 

But once he caught the way your shoulders were slumped and the dark circles around your eyes, he knew better than to celebrate. “Hey,” he exhales, flashing a sad smile, “can I come in?” 

You nod wordlessly before leaving the door ajar and making your way towards the couch. Bucky steps inside, shutting the door behind him before following suit. He sighs when he sees you on the couch, knees tucked closely to your chest and you watch whatever show is playing on the TV, eyes in an absent daze. 

He takes a seat beside you, draping an arm across the back of the couch only for you to launch yourself towards him like it’s a reflex. You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face into his chest as he instinctively encases you in an embrace. Bucky’s heart breaks as he hears you rack out a sob, his thumb beginning to rub circles on your shoulder. 

He gently places a kiss on your forehead as he feels his shirt become damp with your tears. “I’m sorry for leaving so soon the last time I was here,” he mumbles, lips still pressed to your temple. 

You don’t answer back right away and Bucky is forced to listen to you cry, his heart shattering after every noise that comes out of your mouth. 

“It’s just a drag,” you say between sniffles, “the world’s so mean.” 

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, not really understanding what you mean, but tries to think of something to say. His conversation with Steve and Nat replay in his mind as he desperately thinks of a reply, determined not to mess things up like last time.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, testing out the waters. He takes note of your silence and whispers, “Something’s breaking my baby’s heart and I wanna know what.” 

You let out a soft huff. “That’s the problem. I don’t know why I feel so down.”

The room falls silent. Bucky could hear his heartbeat in his ears, he felt his hands grow sweaty, his throat became dry, and his eyes began to prickle as tears started to form. He prays to whoever was listening before he asks. 

“Is it me?” 

“No, god no,” you shoot up, detaching yourself from him much to his dismay. Your eyes wide as he stares back at you with the same expression. Bucky looks down and begins to fiddle with his hands, another nervous tick of his, and you realize why he’s been so persistent about finding out what was making you upset. 

Bucky was afraid that he was the reason you’re in pain. 

You attempt to pacify his thoughts by placing your hands on both sides of his face. Bucky lets out a shaky breath as he leans into one of your hands, peppering it with feather-like kisses. You give him a teary smile. “It’s just that life’s so hard sometimes, you know?” 

Bucky gives you a smile in return, a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he stares at you, trying to dig through the deepest parts of his brain to come up with something, anything, that could possibly make you feel better.

But before he could, you remove your hands from his cheeks and place them on your own as you wipe tears that you didn’t even know were flowing down your face. You stand up, causing Bucky to look at you in confusion. “You should go.”

“What? No,” he protests, standing up following you as you begin to walk towards the front door. Bucky’s mind is racing. 

Come on, dumbass, say something. Anything!

He opens his mouth, “Baby–”

“I just need to rest, Buck,” you interrupt, opening the door. “It’s not you, I promise.”

You press a kiss on his cheek as he looks down at you with sad eyes. 

You let out a small smile, “I’ll text you, okay?”

–––––

But you don’t.

You don’t text him even the day after that. 

Bucky’s mind was spinning. He felt absolutely helpless, and if it wasn’t for the harsh sound of a whistle filling his ears, he wouldn’t have snapped out of his daze. 

“Barnes!” the voice of his coach was enough for him to remember that he was in fact in the middle of the football field in the middle of practice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but if you can’t pull yourself together then you’re benched for the next game. You hear me?” the coach shouts from across the field. 

Bucky nods absentmindedly before shouting back, “Sorry, coach!” 

He shakes his head, trying to retain focus and deciding to pay you one more visit later. Bucky didn’t know what to do nor say, but he sure isn’t leaving your dorm without mending things. 

He sets those thoughts aside for now, and turns his attention back to his team. 

Bucky figured he had totally zoned out during practice because it was only when Steve sat beside him did he realize that practice was over. “(Y/N) still not feeling okay?” Steve asks, sympathy dripping from his every word as he looks at Bucky whose eyes were going through all of the unanswered texts he sent you today. 

good morning, doll

hope you’re feeling at least a little better today :) 

–

don’t forget to eat

<33 

–

just finished my trigonometry exam lol pretty sure i flunked it 

–

call me if you need anything, okay?

– 

found out parker has a gf lmaooo

i kept denying it til he introduced her to the whole team 

you’d like her :) she’s smart like you 

–

i miss you

please text me back 

–

heading to practice 

i miss you so much, doll 

Bucky drops his head in his hands, tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Stevie,” he croaks. “I just wanna see her smile again.” 

–––––

He’s met with Wanda again as the door to your dorm swings open. “Is she here?” Bucky stutters, not even bothering to apologize for showing up unannounced. Wanda shakes her head, “No, she’s been gone since last night.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he swears he almost felt his heart stop at Wanda’s words. His breathing quickens and his chest grows tight as Wanda ushers him into the apartment. “What do you mean she’s been gone since last night? Has she talked to you today?” Wanda shakes her head again, “I’ve been texting her since this morning, but she hasn’t replied to any of it.” 

Bucky runs his hands through his hair as he begins to think about what could’ve happened to you. He starts to make a list of who to call, frantically trying to think of ways to locate you. This was it, he thought. This was how he lost you forever. If he just knew what to say at the right time, if he had just been a good boyfriend to you, this wouldn’t have happened and you wouldn’t be gone. 

He can’t breathe, his mind begins to scramble and his vision turns foggy. Bucky clutches a hand to his chest to try and ground himself, forcing himself to think. 

Think, Barnes, think! 

Just as he was about to dial 911, they hear the sound of keys rattling from the other side of the door causing both his and Wanda’s heads to snap towards its direction. Bucky holds his breath, uttering a dozen prayers in his head, hoping that it was you. 

It’s only when he sees you walk through the door did the tears finally start to flow. He bounds over to you and instantly throws his arms around you, pushing your head towards his chest. Bucky silently thanks whoever granted his prayers as one of his hands fly to rest behind your head before placing a bruising kiss on your forehead. After this, he rests his chin on top of your head and looks up, desperately trying to keep any more tears at bay. 

“I’ve been worried sick, doll, where were you?” he asks, trying to hide the fact that he’s been crying, but the crack in his voice gives it away. “Hmpff mff humff,” he hears you mumble against his chest, drawing a teary chuckle from him as he pulls away. “Sorry, come again?” 

“I went over to my parents to try and cheer myself up, I’m sorry I should’ve told you where I was going, I had my phone off the whole day and—”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky laughs breathlessly, pulling you back into him. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He sees Wanda slowly retreat back into her room to give you space. The two of you stand there in silence, holding each other as you relish in the feeling of being in each other’s arms. 

“I don’t know if I’m okay, honestly,” you say, quietly. 

“And that’s perfectly fine, too,” Bucky replies, cradling your face in his hands. “Listen I know I haven’t been dealing with this as best as I could but—”

“No, Bucky–”

“Let me finish, doll. I know I'm still trying to find my footing with all of this, but I want you to know that I'll be here no matter what, okay? When you’re happy, when you’re sad, or even when you don’t know what you’re feeling.”

You smile at him gratefully, resting your hands on top of his. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me recently. I think college is just getting to me or something. It feels like I always wanna find the rain even on a sunny day, you know?” 

Bucky continues to stare into your eyes, sadness glazing over them. You shake your head and begin to pull away, “Forget it, it sounds stupid–”

“Woah hey, no,” Bucky interjects, placing his hands on your hips. “It doesn’t sound stupid. I may not fully understand what you’re feeling, but I’m here, aren’t I?” 

You shake your head. “I really don’t wanna drag you into this, you have so many things on your plate–”

You’re interrupted by Bucky placing his lips on yours, engulfing you in a kiss so passionate, it takes your breath away. 

“But I’m in it for the long run with you,” he mutters against your lips. 

You stumble because for the months you’ve been together, the future never really fell into conversation between the two of you. With your schedules being so hectic, you and Bucky wordlessly settled with just going with the flow, and you were fine with that. But upon hearing the words leave Bucky’s lips, you began to think what this meant. 

Bucky tenderly places his hands back on your cheeks, rubbing them softly in order to soothe you. “If it feels like life is dragging you down, then hang on ‘cause I'll be your bodyguard,” he starts, earning a soft chuckle from you which urges him to continue.  “If you feel like the whole world is a red flag, then I'll be with you to look for the green, and hell, if you wanna find rain on a sunny day then I’ll be there to dance all through the pain with you, doll.” 

Tears start to flow down your face, once again, as you smile. You smile in a way that Bucky hasn’t seen from you for the past few days. He smiles back. 

“But you gotta try to talk to me, okay?” he pipes up, wiping your tears with his thumbs before pressing another kiss on the top of your head. “I know I’m a meathead, but I promise I wanna try to understand what you’re feeling so I can help.” 

You nod against his lips as Bucky lets out a breath. You stay that way for a while, and Bucky was already satisfied with how the conversation turned out, vowing himself not to push you further into talking things out. It isn’t until he hears you mumble the words he’s been longing to tell you for so long that he feels his world come to a halt. 

“I love you.” 

This is the first time these words were uttered between the two of you, and Bucky feels his chest tighten again, but this time, it was due to an overwhelming sense of joy. He pulls you tighter against him before breathing out, “I love you too. So much.”

It was then Bucky realized that he didn’t need to mend things when you’re feeling this way. As much as he’d like to take away the pain, he knew that reminding you that he’ll always be there despite it is, and always will be, enough.  

–––––

A/N: hope you guys liked this one! highly recommend listening to the song itself, cuz it brings me so much comfort and i hope it brings you comfort too! <33

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

From Nightmare:

“Oh, that was great,” Bashir panted contentedly, seeming much more awake now. He propped himself up on his pillow. “Your skin felt different though, do you have a new moisturizer or…”

Bashir fell dead silent the moment he flicked the lights on.

“Sloan.” Shock and disgust and outrage radiated off of him in waves. Fuck, he looked so beautiful like this, more beautiful than could be believed. The betrayal in his eyes, the hurt twisting his lips...

But there was no time to admire the view. Sloan hesitated only for the time it took for him to smirk smugly around the fingers still in his mouth before activating the beam-out protocol. He held Bashir’s livid gaze until he’d faded from view.

Oh this is a tricky one but I will make an attempt! Thanks for the ask!!! <3

(for this ask game)

some warnings: consensual somnophilia (with Garak), non-consensual somno (with Sloan), sexual assault victim who is still in shock blaming himself for something that was absolutely not his fault (doing a consensual non-consent sort of kink is NOT "asking for it," julian. T_T but he probably knows this when he's not in the immediate aftermath of being raped)

He loved the occasions when Garak came to his quarters as he slept and slid into his bed to take what was on offer. He loved waking up to Garak's hands or mouth already on him, loved how desirable it made him feel, loved the combination of spontaneity and danger with familiarity and intimacy. He always got a twisted thrill during that first moment of sleep-hazy confusion about what was happening, followed by the comforting realization that it was his loving partner.

He'd first fantasized about somnophilia ever since Garak had woken him up for that trip to the Bajoran orphanage, before they were even together. When they'd tried it, he enjoyed it even more than he'd expected to, and so he'd long ago given him permission to do it any time (unless, of course, he left a signal that he wasn't up for it tonight).

Tonight was no exception. His sleepy ecstasy built and built until it all came cascading out into his lover's hand and he was left with a warm glow in his center. He was exhausted enough that he could probably sink right back into sleep if he tried, but he was buzzing with pleasure and he wanted to talk to Garak, who was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Oh, that was great,” he said, propping himself up on his pillow. “Your skin felt different though, do you have a new moisturizer or…”

Then he turned the lights on.

Everything seemed to lurch sideways. Julian felt sick. The words dried up in his mouth as he saw the last person in the galaxy he would ever want to touch him.

"Sloan."

His assaulter just smirked at him, and then transported away while sucking his semen from his fingers.

Julian hugged his knees to his chest, shaking with angry tears. The violation felt worse because he felt like he'd brought it on himself. Had Sloan been watching him closely enough to know about his games with Garak? Had he thought he could get away with pretending to be him? Or had Sloan just randomly stumbled into the one way that Julian could be tricked into letting him touch him? He shuddered and curled in on himself tighter in shame. Either way, he'd practically been asking for something like this to actually happen, by asking Garak to play out these kinds of scenarios with him.

[nerdy-talks]

Obey Me! Nightbringer Lesson 40

I'm gonna start this post by venting a little, so please bear with me ^^"

It's been a rough few months.

The one thing I get the most joy from has also been turning me into a massive emotional wreck.

First, there was the finale of Attack on Titan. No lie or exaggeration, I cried for 3 whole days. And tonight I will be experiencing the same pain all over again since the Dub is scheduled to air.

Then Jujutsu Kaisen... Gojo. Nanami. Need I say more?

To break things up, I thought I would finally sit down and binge watch Fruits Basket. It was the one anime that I was surprisingly able to avoid all spoilers with. And like the fool I am, I thought "aww, this looks like such a cute anime! I bet this series won't be sad."

As I said... I'm a fool lol. But at least I wasn't crying alone. My Mom had watched the entirety of Fruits Basket with me, and she also shed some tears I shared the pain, mwhahaha! >:)

Now, I can add Obey Me! Nightbringer to the list of things that have made me sob like a baby.

This scene specifically :

I was seriously overwhelmed with emotions.

I couldn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. I tried my best to choke back my feelings. But I was unable to contain myself, and the ugly sobbing began.

I dunno.... Lucifer showing his genuine gratitude to us is just... so sweet and precious to me.

The part that actually made me cry is him telling us "May the path you walk in life be full of joy and happiness."

Lucifer.... There's literally no way that I could ever be happy without you and your brothers in my life!! T_T

Those 7 boys have been majorly responsible for my joy and happiness since the very beginning, and even though we were supposedly returning to them in the future/present... It still doesn't make saying goodbye to the past boys any easier.

Like... I would have clung onto Lucifer here and cried into his chest while apologizing for crying... But they mean so much to me, I just wouldn't be able to stop myself ; ^ ;

And ohhhhhh boyyyyy! When it came to us calling upon each of the brothers for their power and they each said goodbye to us.... Let's just say I was so happy that I was home alone because I was legit wailing, so much that even my dogs were looking at me like "what the Hell is wrong with you, you weird human?" xD

Then!

Even though I am skeptical, suspicious, and on guard about our "return" to the future/present... I burst into tears again when I read this :

Levi.... please don't cry.... you're making my tears well up again! T^T

And then to make matters even more emotional :

Welcome home! ; _ ;

I'm not sure if I'm just in a phase where I cry easily, or if I'm growing softer as I get older.... But either way, it's clear that my love, devotion, and feelings for fictional characters is more intense than ever before lol

[lyceana]

I felt true, visceral fear today after I returned from work and discovered that my Huion monitor tablet wouldn't connect to my laptop. I knew that bitch was all powered up and screaming but blue-balling me with only pitch-black darkness.

I shut off and restarted my laptop 5 fucking times, rammed the usb cables in and out of my laptop's usb ports, in and out... I never thought that an expensive device - wasted for just watching funny cat videos and enabling me to draw the shapely but scaly butt of Voldemort - could be violated. Learned a life lesson here: any hole can be stuffed, you just need some imagination y'all.

Fuck tentacles, ugly men & weird-ass creatures with gigantic horse dicks - give me sub laptops/pcs getting dominated by their puny usb cable daddies!

I digress. So, I turned on my 2nd laptop which is on life-support - it never asked to be an accessory to producing hardcore incest material between Tom and his hot daddy Riddle sr, btw. But, like come on! What's better than one hot, mentally maladjusted Tom Riddle? Two of course! Think about the delicious angst, the hurt/comfort, the abandonment issues, the forbidden attraction, uugh...

Why are there so few tomcest (sr) fics? It's unfair, I'm fucking starving, eh. I mean, Riddle sr is the goddamn blueprint for gratuitously hot Voldemort! Where's pathetic, blushy, snot-nosed and puffy-eyed Tom Riddle sr??? The internet lied to me! I thought you only needed two hot dudes who didn't even have to meet each other to make sweet, sweet looove to each other... there's even incest and murder for extra seasoning!

I'm begging the ao3 wordsmith gods who kin Tom Riddle/Voldemort to open their hearts to Tomcest sr T_T) We all love pathetic men in tears and Voldemort would never allow himself to show such vulnerability but that's what we have his da for... Voldy could vicariously experience such a display of helplessness through Riddle sr! And tbh, I seriously need more beautiful works of art featuring my favourite basket case twink (dub-) non-con-ing his papa into some father/son bonding. I'm going cold turkey here!

I digress again. So, I plugged my Huion into my 2nd laptop and behold! That fucker finally connected and mirrored the laptop display, thank fucking god! Little shit was playing hard to get but it still lives! Whoop, whoop!

Thank Voldy's perky ass, I wasn't forced to make a human connection with an underpaid yet bored employee at the Huion support centre. I had that tablet for 4 years and we experienced the deepest depths of human depravity together - I cried bitter tears, cursed it for reflecting my shitty art skills - my inability to draw hot men bedtime wrestling. But, we also experienced joy together when I succeeded. That fucker made me feel like an art god when it reflected how I envisioned the smut to be. I'm not ready to end this toxic relationship, I thought I'd be.

I was all 'yeah, I'm sooo stage 4 already! I only need the Huion employee to gaslight me into buying their newest, shiny model to reach stage 5!' I'm 30, a grandma according to annoying (affectionate) internet youngsters. My body can't handle eating only instant ramen for 4 months anymore. My roaring 20s are a bygone era and for once I choose to practice some self-care, to love myself even!

For once, I was about to make an adult decision and... wait. To save up the money - to accept that I'll be a temporary full-time traditional wannabe weird-ass hentai artist with a shitty phone camera... but thank god I don't have to! My beloved tablet still works and I can be a part-time traditional but mainly digital wannabe weird-ass hentai artist with a shitty phone camera! Yeah, this is how my day went. Love y'all ~ mwaaah

Shameless self-promo plug but I think you should at least look at the smut scenes to see the appeal of tomcest (sr)~ I also need some validation for providing my tears as lube for their narcissistic coupling You can read Philautia here: AO3

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 4

Spoilers under the cut!

-Why won’t these people let me sleep T_T

-Alear’s room is quite pretty but ye gods that draft

-How does poor Framme keep ending up as the opponent in the arena, lol.

-Still on chapter 6

-Okay I need to try to continue the main story lol

-Alear Louis C: More of his spying on people. That said his odd philosophy surrounding his weird habit is interesting at least.

-Framme Chloe B: Oh this is literally just a continuation of the previous support scene. Chloe’s excitement over the bizarre eel sandwich was pretty cute.

-Alear Celine C: T E A. Also a weird legend about a spirit that drives off interlopers from Firene Castle with tricks. That said, Celine’s dedication and love for the peaceful nature of her kingdom is pretty endearing.

-Alear Chloe C: Chloe’s watching Alear sleep @,@ She apparently does this a lot. She wants to sleep in Alear’s room lol.

-Sommie is apparently “tall as a loaf of bread,” and weighs “2 peaches”. Okay.

-Finally continuing the story!

-Sparkle hair thief. She’s very bad at hiding. Oh, fake tears lol. Alfred falls for it, Alear seems unsure.

-Oh no it’s another boobie character.

-”Hiya Papiya” Yunaka is very annoying.

-Yunaka had the Emblem Ring it seems.

-”Holy Brocc-oly” jesus christ she’s just annoying.

-Oh okay she’s less bad when she’s not faking being cheerful.

-Micaiah has arrived :D Two of the best Lords were among the earliest Emblems.

-Micaiah can grant the ability to use staves. Those things she was famous for using in Radiant Dawn :p

-Hmm, it seems the attack has to do damage to poison. Louis stonks continue to climb.

-Etie’s grown str on 4 consecutive levels roflmao.

-Okay Yunaka’s actually quite good gameplay-wise.

-Chloe got MVP again. She had Sigurd this time so she spent a lot of time flying around and sniping people.

-Pretty good fog of war map, and those are often bad. The map was better-built around it than Chapter 3 of Three Houses was.

-Micaiah got Yunaka to turn her whole life around. She always was pretty incredible :p

-Alfred actually improving a bit seeing through Yunaka.

-Oh, Yunaka’s voice actress is Laura Post, knew she sounded familiar.

-Oh hey it’s Veyle again. She’s looking for her sibling. 100% it’s Alear.

-She’s carrying a red stone bearing Sombron’s sign roflmao.

-Alear bandaged Veyle’s leg, that’ll 100% identify her later. Also I notice Veyle has red and blue markings on her dress.

-Nosferatu, famously wielded by Micaiah XD

-I don’t know if I just got lucky, but it seems like cooking is BUSTED in this game. There’s way more to it than in Houses, too.

-Oh, so farm animals give you extra resource drops per map, very nice.

-Alfred Alear C: Alfred trained hard. Shame it doesn’t reflect in his use as a unit. He’s a bit eerily chummy.

-Celine Chloe C: Celine wants to go to a tea farm. They’re both sad about the war.

-Celine Jean C: She thanks him for the tea his town producers.

-Louis Chloe B: More bonding over spying on people, lol. Louis says he likes watching her because she makes a scene better.

-Alfred Yunaka C: Yunaka’s bugged that everyone’s accepted her so easily. She actually just seems bothered at the poor information control in Alear’s outfit.

-Anna paralogue time!

-She hid in a treasure chest wtf lol

-Oh jeez Anna looks terrible. Sad capitalist just can’t catch a break.

-Anna’s paralogue was super easy

-Vander Clanne C: Vander’s devoted and stuffy, Clanne’s bitter about running errands. Another SUPER short support.

-Alear Boucheron C: Alear’s stressed, Boucheron suggests stress-relief techniques.

-Etie Alfred C: These two are talking very awkwardly to each other but they’re not in-frame together, there’s a kinda split-screen dividing them lol. Where are they in relation to each other, I wonder. Oh, they were holding cups? The fuck, weighted tea cups??? That’s bizarre DBZ level shit.

-Skirmish time!

-That Sommie dislike T_T

-Alear Etie C: She’s super confident. That’s it.

-Chapter 7 time!

-Alear almost got sniped.

-Wait, how are Alear and co. “sneaking over the border” if Eve sent word ahead of them. Does Brodia not have soldiers watching over their border?

-Alcryst is a sensitive boi. I expect the people who disliked Bernie won’t treat him the same.

-Wait wait wait what the fuck they KNEW we were coming and just took a shot at people approaching without identifying them first?

-Lapis: This is the kingdom of warriors. If you can’t dodge one arrow, you’re not worthy to enter.

-Uhh, hey? Dumb bitch? YOU ALMOST KILLED THE DIVINE DRAGON. THIS GOES WELL BEYOND “HURDUR WE STRONK KINGDOM,” YOU COULD’VE IGNORANTLY GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO A WAR WITH SOLM AND FIRENE WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY MIXING IT UP WITH ELUSIA!

-Christ this fucking game went and got really stupid again.

-Oh my god, Lapis is still trying to pick a fight, this bitch is an idiot.

-Also “the weak feed the strong,” watch Edelgard detractors go “Hahah, Adrestia in shambles!”

-I take it back, Alcryst is the only sane man of this group and his retainers both suck.

-Alcryst needs a hug :(

-Ah, guess Roy’s up.

-Elusia took the bridge :U

-Oh hey it’s Hortensia.

-Oh my god, stop talking, Hortensia. Stop talking right now.

-Alcryst found his spine again \o/

-Hmm, Brodia’s been pushing around Elusia. Did Brodia push them into their current aggression?

-Jesus christ Rosado and Goldmary are both strong

-Hortsenia corrupted Lucina :(

-I do like the way defeated by retreating enemies go through the start of their death animation but recover into a normal low hp animation. That’s nifty.

-A gross old man keeps Lyn’s ring in his room? X_X

-One big problem I have is that the characters’ bond fragment post-battle quotes take precedent over normal ones, so characters I use in every battle are just always giving me canned dialogue.

[perexcri]

For the fanfic thing, please

2, 3 and 11 for To Hell and Back

4, 9, 13, and 15 a flower that resembles you

If that’s too many you can veto what you don’t wanna do☺️

I hope you are doing wonderfully, Perc!!

hi Vee!! i love all of these so i'm gonna answer them but put them under the cut because i don't know how to answer things succinctly lol

first off: To Hell and Back Again :D

2: What scene did you first put down?

basically Chapter 6: Castle!! i originally just wrote a one shot that was this chapter (with some parts that ended up in chapter 5 as well), and after a few weeks i started trying to turn it into the story that it became

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

i honestly do not know? i remember this one less for the actual writing than i do the plot and characters, so i had to dig around a little, but i did find one line i think about fairly often:

Opening his mouth, Mike tries to get the words out–any words–but they won't come. They tangle in his throat, and his own tears pool in his eyes instead. Against the burning aches in his joints, how the backpack still digs into his shoulders, Mike reaches out on his own. He takes his bloodied, cut hand and presses it to Will's cheek, just to feel the pain and know it's real.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

first of all, i’m just glad i finished a long/time-consuming creative project T_T i hadn’t done one in so long and i always feel awful because i constantly start things and never finish them, but writing this helped me prove to myself that i can actually complete long projects

i also really like that i took my own spin on the apocalypse byler concept. i know it ended up definitely taking a more serious/angsty turn about halfway through, but i like that i tried to approach them getting stuck in the upside down with a more humorous lens. when i first wanted to do an apocalypse byler fic, i tried to think of ways i could make the concept more fun for me, and i’m happy with what i ended up with :D

now: A Flower That Resembles You

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 

ooooh okay so my favorite line of dialogue is actually from the last chapter for the whole fic (which i already wrote because i was in dire need of some serotonin in church one day lol). so!! i can’t post it, but i’ll take this one from tonight’s update instead :D

“Do you hear it?” Mike asked in the silence of the dark one night. Just a few minutes earlier, the bells had chimed for midnight.

“Hm?” Will groaned into his half of the pillow, cheek squished up against one of his eyes.

Mike shifted a little, just enough that Will could tell he was craning his neck, trying to get a good look at him. “The sea. You can hear the waves in the distance.”

(it’s a few lines of dialogue but let’s just pretend it counts lol)

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? 

not of this fic specifically, but like my last a/n said, there’s a lot of the world-building that i’m borrowing from an original story i’ve had sitting in my brain for like 8 years now!! the biggest difference between this fic and my original idea is that my original idea took place in a more industrialized city - think the industrializing north in the US during the like 1870s-1890s. if i ever get to working on it some more, i definitely want to keep that industrialized setting!! i opted for the kind of medieval/fantasy setting here because i thought it would work better with the characters (and give me an excuse to draw from my many hours of watching Merlin lol)

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? 

ahhh i love music questions!! ok so i have the playlist for this fic, of course, but i listen to the full version that i have on private on my account right now. i listen to the whole thing about once a day while i’m at work, just to keep the vibes in my head so it’s easier to write!!

i do mainly remember/classify my fics by what albums and artists i listened to a lot while working on them (even if they do have an official playlist that goes with them). so, in my head, i classify this fic mainly as a Dance Fever, Get Behind Me Satan, and Love Yourself: Tear fic! Dance Fever for the vibes and religious undertones, Get Behind Me Satan because the entire album is centered around truth, and Love Yourself: Tear because that’s the album that The Truth Untold (the song this fic is based off of) is from :D

15: What did you learn from writing this fic? 

i’ve learned a lot about perseverance T_T i hit a point a few weeks ago where i was seriously considering dropping this idea for a while (for lots of reasons not wholly related to the story itself, but still). i’ve been stuck on it for a while and keep worrying i’m not gonna be able to tie it all together, but it’s a story i really want to tell, and convincing myself to finish it solely for that reason has helped me find a bit more joy in actually working on it (even if i am regularly banging my head on my keyboard trying to get from point a to point b)

AHHHHHH apologies for it being so long, but thank you so much for the questions Vee!! i loved getting to answer them :] 💜💜💜

[merakiui]

I’m not sure if you’re watching squid games but squid game au where childe is one of the high ranking guards and he falls in love with reader and tries everything in his power to rig to game in reader’s favor. Bonus points if reader teams up with scaramouche during the games or sum 😭

AAAA I WAS WAITING FOR AN ASK LIKE THIS!!! I recently finished watching it!! It literally destroyed me and I was left with this gaping hole in my heart after certain scenes. T_T Such a tense show with amazing characters… I’m still recovering from everything.

I’m going to ramble about this idea because it’s given me lots of thoughts. Please excuse it if it’s too long. orz

(cw: spoilers for squid game, death/murder, mention of suicide, blood/gore, angst)

I could absolutely see him being a guard!!! He does his job very well and doesn’t even hesitate when he has to eliminate the players until he sees you. You’re surprisingly relaxed when it comes to survival, having gotten all of the panic out of your system beforehand; you do your best to make friendly conversation with the other players so that you’ll at least have some connections. It’s how you meet the cold-hearted, yet quick-witted Scaramouche. It feels like everyone hates him, what with how rude he is—always insulting everyone, talking down to them as if he’s not in debt like the rest of them. When you first try to befriend him, he tells you to get lost. He’s not interested in talking to you or to anyone else here.

You leave him alone. If he wants to be a loner, there’s not much you can do about it. Although you do offer him half of your meal when his is taken by another player and he begrudgingly accepts it, grumbling the whole time that he doesn’t owe you anything. You laugh and tell him not to worry. He ends up saving your skin in the next game and when you point out that he secretly cares he rolls his eyes and tells you to shut up. Childe watches this happen with curious eyes. He was very ready to shoot you; you were so close to being eliminated and yet another player saved you. Maybe there are some people who care.

No, that can’t be. He’s the only one who truly cares.

Scaramouche can’t always be there to look out for you. What if he gets eliminated in one of the games? What if he cracks under the pressure and kills himself? But Childe can be there to protect you. Since he’s a guard, he doesn’t have to worry about being eliminated. As long as he doesn’t reveal his face or make it obvious that he’s helping you, there won’t be any need for suspicion from the lower ranked guards. Maybe you mess up on the dalgona game and he’s the guard who happens to be standing over you when it happens, watching and waiting. It’s the tiniest crack—hardly noticeable unless you’re truly looking. But to the other guards it still counts; you’ve broken the shape.

Oh, the expression on your face is so heartbreaking. You’re terrified. Tears are already falling from your eyes as you drop the candy, hands trembling. Childe stays rooted to his spot, staring at you through his mask. When he doesn’t move to shoot you, you look down at the candy and slowly begin to work on it again, hoping to get the shape out despite the very small crack in it. Is he giving you another chance? What’s going on? You hardly have time to think about that as you work against the clock.

And when you nervously hold the piece up and the speaker announces that you’ve passed, a huge wave of relief washes over you. You’ve never run out of there so fast before, practically bolting like a startled wild animal. Childe looks at the shape you’ve managed to trace out, lying discarded on the ground, and he crushes it under his boot. No one saw it; therefore it didn’t happen.

Since that encounter, you’ve gotten a lot more careful in your approach to things. You haven’t told anyone about that game—not even Scaramouche who gives you a strange look when you return to the dorm, eyes wide and chest heaving as if you’ve just ran for your life; and in a way you have. You keep your mouth shut and continue on with the games.

Let’s talk about that massive fight between the players in the beginning stages of the game, where it was basically everyone for themselves; cull the weak, let the strong survive. Childe is so stressed as he waits behind the doors, listening to the sounds of bloodshed and violence. Lots of screaming and crying. It’s chaos. It’s a bloodbath. It could very well be your resting place. And yet you survive. You and Scaramouche manage to fend off anyone who had it out for you. You’re especially protective of Scaramouche since he was so rude to everyone in the beginning. The two of you walk out of that gruesome fight with some cuts and bruises. Nothing too bad. You can’t say the same for the others, though.

The first thing Childe does when he bursts into the room with the other guards to stop all of the fighting is to look for you. He stands there, ready to open fire should the need arise, his gun pointed at the crowd, and to his relief he sees you among the faces. There’s an ugly cut just under your eye, where someone’s fingernails scratched you, and he feels himself frown under his mask. It seems like Scaramouche also survived. He’s not all that surprised. He’s hard to kill, but it’s not like he’s much of a threat. He’ll slip up eventually.

Omg and the marbles game… </3 You and Scaramouche team up as partners because you’ve come to trust one another and have been doing well in each of the games so far. Childe’s the guard who’s assigned to your team and he watches as the both of you slowly come to the realization that only one person can walk out of this game alive. Just one. Not the both of you. Your faces fall so fast from confidence to horror that it’s almost funny. So this is where the friends must part. How unfortunate.

“There has to be another way,” you’re saying, shaking your head in disbelief. “Right? You said any marbles game, right? Surely we can… We can figure out a way where we can both win? That’s allowed, isn’t it?”

Your expression is invigorating. He wants nothing more than to discard this mask, pull you into his arms, and shower you in affectionate, comforting kisses. A twisted part of him wants to see that expression more often—wants to savor the fear in your eyes and the way you tremble. You’ll feel better after all of this is over. Of course you will. You’ll get all of that money. You’ll win. And once that happens, he’ll finally get to introduce himself properly. You’ll owe him your life. You already do. You have no choice but to accept him.

“Any marbles game,” he tells the both of you in a voice that’s painfully neutral, “as long as one of you is determined to be the winner and the other is eliminated.”

If your spirit hasn’t been broken from the other games, it definitely breaks now. He can see the despair written on your face, can hear the wobble in your tone as you force yourself to stay calm. Scaramouche doesn’t look too good either. His expression is dark and gloomy and he’s just barely holding back frustrated tears. He turns to Childe, opens his mouth with an insult at the ready, and then shuts it with a huff.

“Let’s just play.” He’s not looking at you. He refuses to look at you. “The sooner we start, the quicker we can end this.”

“But—“ You stare at the bag of marbles in your hand. “But there has to be another way.”

“Well, there’s not,” he snaps. “We either play and one of us has a fighting chance, or we don’t play at all and we both die.”

You inhale a shaky breath. For a moment you consider the latter. You’ve had so much fun talking to Scaramouche during mealtimes and at night, when neither of you could sleep and stayed awake in case anyone had any ill intent, and now you have to choose between your life or his. No matter how desperately you wish for an alternative there isn’t one.

“Fine, we’ll play,” you say, and those words burn your tongue. “But…can we talk first?”

He gazes up at the timer, sighs rather loudly, and then nods. And you talk. You talk about all sorts of things: about what your lives are like outside, about what you’d do if you won, about things you’ve always wanted to see and do, about how the both of you would go out for drinks once all of this madness is over. It’s weird because in that moment it feels like you’ve known him forever. Like the two of you are best friends competing for a silly prize in a silly dream. You do your best to make light of the situation. Time dwindles down so fast; it’s as if you blinked and the numbers sped by. Your heart aches because you’ve managed to wring a smile and a tiny laugh out of him and they weren’t sarcastic. They were genuine. He’s shed his many hard, carefully manufactured layers and opened up to you. The two of you are friends. You’re one of the only friends he’s ever wanted to hold onto. One of the only friends he’s ever had.

Childe stands there and witnesses the whole thing, listens in on your conversation and wonders when the two of you are going to focus. The two of you forget he’s there, immersing yourselves in friendly conversation and reminiscing on the past few days.

“I used to think human life was worthless,” Scaramouche tells you as the two of you start a simple game of marbles. No cheats. No hateful feelings towards one another. Just a game between friends. “I used to think people were stupid for doing crazy things when they’re desperate for money. Maybe I’m one of those people.”

“Then we’re both stupid,” you joke. “We’re here, after all.”

Childe was holding his breath during the first few minutes of the game; that is, until he realized Scaramouche was deliberately losing. You’re too busy talking to notice. When he places his final marble in the palm of your hand, you snap out of your daze and reality comes crashing back down on you. The marble feels like heavy lead in your hand. You look over at Childe helplessly. This is a game he can’t get you out of this time. But he doesn’t even have to try. Scaramouche did everything for him.

Childe is generous enough to let you have a final moment with Scaramouche. You stare at him with glossy eyes before rushing up to him and throwing your arms around him. For once he drops his boundaries and returns the embrace, shoulders sagging.

“You idiot,” you mutter, tears starting to fall. “You let me win.”

“Yeah.” He smiles grimly. “I did.”

Childe stands in front of you once time is up. Your blood freezes as you peer up at him, eyes lingering on the gun in his hand. This is it. It’s over. Scaramouche is going to be eliminated. You can’t watch; you turn away, squeeze your eyes shut, and move to cover your ears. His voice reaches you just before you block him out entirely.

“Hey, stupid.” The faux confidence in his slowly deteriorating voice tears your heart to shreds. There are a million things he could say to you right now—and there are a million he wants to say—but there isn’t any time. “I had fun. Thanks for everything.”

You almost turn around, but the harsh gunshot and the sound of his body hitting the ground keeps you facing forwards. It isn’t until it’s announced that he’s been eliminated that a familiar cold begins to settle into your bones. It stays with you hours after the results of the game have been determined, when you’re back in the dorm, sitting on the bed and staring off into space.

It’s not fair.

You manage to get through the remaining games. With the glass stepping stones and the hint from the Front Man, you’re able to choose a vest that isn’t one of the first few numbers. Childe is beyond relieved when you make it across. There were more than a few close calls than he would’ve liked. But what matters now is that you’re safe. You have a chance. You can win. You will win.

You have to. You’ve come so far and he’s waited with bated breath each day, doing all that he can to watch over you like a shadow. He’ll make sure you win no matter what because it’s what he’s been doing since the moment he laid eyes on you. So when it’s time for the final game, he hopes you’ll give it everything you’ve got.

[absolutebl]

I just finished watching Until We Meet Again. The prospect of nice penguin showings lured me in next to the mentions of it being great, but then it failed me on both, unfortunately. .-. In a number of aspects it is good and unique as a BL, I can cognitively see that, but I found it rather extremely painful to watch, and it never wound up doing a U-turn on the elements that salted me badly, sadly. The blushy maiden trope in there and Pharm being this whiny crybaby with basically no competence at all was really really exhausting to watch. In any other BL (or any romance for that matter) I would have just sighed and sucked it up with seeing such a kinda useless wimp who can't take a clear bold stance to fend up a kinda asshole suitor, because it's such a norm by premise (also the "marry me, because I'm too lazy to stop sucking at cooking" wife material trope is such a---). But serving up that Intouch had been very able to go against his natural inclinations and work up and grasp decisive action to get what he wants, only for him to end up in a crying, clingy mess that can't really do anything else anymore. Graaah! It's almost like the narrative wants to say: "See, love takes away all of your autonomy and agency and makes you entirely dependent to this one person, reducing you and your value to this one aspect in life and their willingness to be with you, that making up all of what is you and to make it EVEN WORSE it's like: See, he definitely had too much of all these abilities, therefore we, the narrative, decree they must both die, so he can be reborn as this very conveniently uke innocent reluctant something to chronically tear up and find his value, completeness and safety under the wing of that seme. Also make him traumatized on top of it, just to make sure he doesn't get audacious ideas again. It's entirely like some sort of just because punishment of inadequate magnitudes of consequences. Just why did the series have to serve up basically just about the tropes and narrative contrivances I absolutely most loath? T_T And also combine it with the fated mate/red string of fate trope which I quite like, because it typically comes with a package deal of reflecting and improving on your past history by learning from the mistakes and also about segregating your present identity from the past one, which is a move that forces you to learn self-sustained esteem and sovereignty over your life in the reality that unfolds before your eyes. The latter didn't really happen at all (it did seem to try in a last minute ditch about all that "is it even real?", but that only felt like checkboxing on the forced separation trope, and then he doesn't even manage to come to that conclusion himself but has to be kinda told that in a dream for that?) The only ones that did better on the former were also just the families with hardly very nuanced teary drama and most of it also in exposition dump summary in dialogue-only. In terms of the main couple it definitely propagated totally just a downgrade. Which is just Gnnndfndfhmphf. (Also, why give Intouch's friend this long of a scene all in tears just to have him never show up again in any way ever?)

Me going to do that very pouty sulking in the corner. I had wanted to like this show. ;_;

BUT! Pharm at least did improve on his foodie skills. Your write up on the dishes is cool. Thanks for that!! Those purple dumplings in particular definitely have my attention very much for replication now. (Especially with it being dessert-style pretty but still being savory! It's like I've been looking for something like that forever, with me not liking sweets!)

On another note (and an actual question), on one of the posts to the series you wrote:

(Since it won best picture Oscar as a horror flick, which is a commercial genre category like romance, and everyone knows horror separates from romcom with a very slim line - mostly musical.)

What did you mean by that? Bad romance does inspire the same reactions in me as horror, but I feel like that probably wasn't what you meant...?

I'm sorry UWMA didn't work for you.

HORROR & ROMANCE

So, horror and romance as literary genres (in the western world) both come from the Victorian (AKA Rromantic) Gothic literary movement of the 1800s. It means they use a TON of the same tropes to inspire tension, form the backbone of setting and character, and (eventually) establish themselves as genre fiction. It's just that horror takes them into bloody or creepy spaces, and romance takes them to connection and love.

So take proximity alert, in romance one boy falls into/onto the other, in horror, the damsel falls in the woods and the serial killer gets her.

The trope of cohabitation, which in romance can be tailored down to there's only one bed, that's the same trope as "cabin in the woods" horror. Isolating and forcing a couple to live together inspiring tension and love/sex, is just like isolating and forcing a group together in a haunted house, then picking them off one by one. These two genres naturally default to flips sides of the same narrative techniques, in many ways.

Which isn't to say there should be one-to-one comparisons, but more that they are source in the same basic narrative foundation way back.

Horror is as much about manipulation of notions of intimacy and social relationships (and emotions) as romance (at least good horror is) it's just that in romance it all comes out well, and in horror it... doesn't.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

[babiesdreams]

Hey, I hope you are doing well. Can you make a reaction of nct when the reader is an actress and you have kiss scene how they will react also take your time 💖💖💖

Kiss scene Ot23

Warnings: Jealousy (Lucas, Jungwoo and Chenle)

Situation: You’ve always dreamt about this. Since you started your acting career there’s only been one goal for you, acting for this company. Even if the contract was pretty good, you were worried about the kissing scene you had with the main character, played by a really famous actor. So when you go to your boyfriend to tell him about the news you can’t help feeling anxious for some reason.

Taeyong 🌹 : “Taeyong... I- I got the job” You start saying nervously and his first reaction is to jump into your arms and congratulate you over and over again, as he feels so prous that you got in. “B-but-” Your nervous words make him anxious as well. “What is it babe?” He asks concerned. “I got a kissing scene” you say looking down. Taeyong chuckles instantly, amused by how cute you could be sometimes. “That’s great baby, a kissing scene means your character is important” He reassures you, kissing every spot of your face.

Taeil 🌕 : “Babe, guess what?” You tell him as soon as you enter the apartment. “What?” He asks confused, munching the last piece of his home-made cake. “I got in” You say, excited, showing him the “staff card” that they gave you so that you could access the different buildings. “That’s great baby. We definetely have to celebrate tonight” He says, getting up and coming your way, embracing you into a lovely hug. “I also got a kissing scene” You whisper into his ear. He looks at you surprised and giggles when he sees you’re blushing. “May I have a kiss as well?” He jokes around before kissing you softly.

Johnny 🐱 : “You know about that job I told you I wanted to get?” You say, carressing Johnny’s hair, while his head rests on your lap, both of you watching TV. “The one in that drama with Lee Minho?” He asks, looking up for a second as you nod. “Well, I got in” You say, still nervous of his reaction. “Oh you did? Congratulations babe” He says calmly, before he kisses your thighs cutely. “But- um.... You know.... I kinda have....I kinda have to kiss him” You say, nervously, while your whole body becomes stiff. “You’re gonna kiss Lee Minho????” He asks, sitting down to look at you. You look at him in shock, not really knowing how to react. “You should practice with me then” He says, puckering his lips up coming closer to you. 

Yuta 🐙 : “Hey Yuta, you know how bad I wanted that job with that company that’s so famous, and in this specific movie, there’s this actor that is so famous, so it could be a great chance to me to... you know blow up?” You say fastly, while Yuta nods at every word. “Well, I got the job...” You start saying, but before you finish he hugs you tightly and with a serious, yet soft and comforting tone he says “I’m so proud of you baby” You want to give yourself that moment to really appreciate the chance that you got, but your mind keeps going on the idea that he’s gonna be mad about the kissing scene. “Yuta, stop, I- I have a kissing scene” You finally say, getting off his hold and looking straight at his eyes. Your worried tone, makes him smile. “Like this one?” He asks before kissing you deeply.

Kun 🐻 : He was busy, cooking when you sat on a stool, looking at him skillfully cutting some veggies. “How’s your day been?” He asks calmly. “Well, I got a call from the company I did a casting for...” You say and he turns back, to look at you, his brows move up, in anticipation. “And...?” He asks, already excited by your half-formed smile. “I got selected” You say, smiling widely. His expression turns into pure happiness, “That’s amazing babe” He says, coming your way and embracing you into a warm hug. “I also got a kissing scene... I don’t know how you feel about that” You say, still hugging his figure. You hear some sniffing and worriedly pull off the hug, to see how Kun’s eyes are teary. “I can decline the offer baby, don’t be sad for that please” You say, cupping his cheeks with your hands. “No, I’m just, so so happy for you” He says in between sniffs. “I know how hard you’ve worked to get that baby” He says placing a kiss on your forehead. 

My heart T_T

Doyoung 🐰 : He was showering when you received the text, confirming that you got in. Your body rests on your share bed and since you got the message, you’ve been tossing and turning nervously, waiting for him to get out of the bathroom. But when he finally does, you feel even worse. He instantly notices it on your expression and calmly asks “What’s wrong?” You look at him, concerned and tearing up you say  “I have to kiss another man” He shakes his head, confused at your words. “What?” He asks sitting on the bed, next to you. “I- I got the job for that drama, and I have to kiss the main actor” You say pouting. “Don’t you want to?” He asks concerned about you crying. “No, I mean, I do, like not kissing him, but the job on itself, and I don’t care about kissing him, but I don’t want to lose you” You say, looking down, but his fingers, gently lift your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “You won’t lose me dummy. I’m happy you got the job. And I’ve done acting before, I know how it is like” He says calmly, making you calm down as well. “Do you want some advices?” He asks smirking, making you laugh.

Ten 🐱 : He was taking care of the cats when you got home, so you decided it could be a good moment to let him know, because he would be calmed. “Hey baby” You say, sitting on the floor, letting the cats come to you and give you some love. Ten looks at you frowning at how you always got the cats’ attention. “Hi” He says calmly, looking at you with sweet eyes. “How did the audition go?” He asks, not looking away from you for a second. “I got the character that I wanted, but I have a kiss scene with the main character” You say, worriedly as you look at him. His expression turns into a happy one. “That’s great. Do you want to get some delivery for tonight?” He asks picking up his phone and you simply nod.

Jaehyun 🍑 : He was watching Tv, and the news were making the announcement of the drama you were in. He looked shocked at the screen, watching your face on the drama’s cast. “Babe, weren’t you gonna tell me? That’s great” He screams from the couch. You look at him, widening your eyes at the situation. You nervously giggle when he comes closer, knowing what he was gonna do, but before he could, you make him get away for a second. “I need to talk about something Jaehyun” You say with a serious tone that makes a worried expression form on his face. “Look, Jae, I- I have to kiss a man in the drama” He giggles inmediately, finding hilarious that you were worried about that. “I know, what’s the problem with it?” He says hugging you and placing kisses down your neck.

Winwin 🐥 : You were so happy that you couldn’t hide your excitement for the role. But still you didn’t want your boyfriend to feel bad or jealous about it. You looked at him, as he was preparing some late night snacks and sigh. “Sicheng” You call out, still mesmerized by how good he looked with his messy hair and his glasses on. “Look babe, that role I auditioned for involved kissing another man” You finally let out, looking at his confused expression. “Was it good?” He simply asked, resuming his cooking. You blush, and your eyes widen at his blunt words. “W-what do you mean?” you ask him confused but he replies as if it was so obvious. “The kiss. Was it good?” You blink, slowly and breathe slowly before you answer “It hasn’t happen yet” He hums and smiles at you. “I don’t think it’s gonna be as good as mines” He jokes around, finally sitting on the couch with the snacks he prepared. 

Jungwoo 🐶 : He was looking for something to watch on Netflix, while you were lying on his lap, looking at his face as tries to choose a movie. “Hey babe, you know about that casting last week right?” You ask, looking at his reaction, but he simply hums, waiting for you to continue. “Well. Here’s the thing, I got the job, but I kinda have to kiss an actor for a scene” His expression completely changes, turning into a darker one. His sharp eyes look deeply into you as he says “Nobody would be as good as I am right?” His firm voice and his intense look makes you gulp as you try to give a proper answer. “Of course not, baby, I only love you, this is just a job” His expression relaxes at your words and he comes down for a kiss, that shortly gets quite heated.

Lucas 🦁 : You were extra cautious, you knew how jealous Lucas could get sometimes and the situation wasn’t really the best. He just came home after a long day of work and wanted to rest his mind and have some time for himself. But you really needed to tell him before he could see it somewhere. “Hey, Lucas baby, look.... I got this really nice role in a drama” He widened his eyes surprised at the news, while he started getting his shoes off  “That’s nice, congratulations babe” He says placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Right- The thing is that... I- Lee Yong suk is the main actor and we kinda have a kissing scene” He looks at you, with dark furious eyes, breathing slowly to calm himself down. “Great” He grunts, walking inside the house and avoiding eye contact. 

Mark 🐆 : “Hey, baby, I heard you got the role, congratulations, I just- I wish I could be there with you right now. I mean you’re probably asleep right now... And I probably will be asleep when you wake up but, I just wanna say that... um... Distance sucks and everything, but .... I love you and I’m so proud of you. Call me when you wake up or... um leave a message on the voicemail... I love you” The beep sounds loudly and you start getting more anxious about it. Did he know all about it, or just that you got the role? He needed to know anyway right? Your brain keeps going over and over around the same things and you just wanted to get that feeling out of your chest, so you called him. “Hey, isn’t it like 4 AM in there? You ask him worried. “Yeah- I couldn’t sleep” His sleepy voice says. “Mark....” You wait for an answer, a protest, something, but instead you get a hum. “I have to kiss an actor for the role” You finally let it out, expecting a fight, rage from his usual cute self, jealousy... but instead he chuckles. “Were you worried about me getting jealous?” He asks, still half asleep. You nod, but then realize he can’t see you, so you hum right after. “I’m just proud of you baby, kiss as many actors as you need” You blush at his words and giggle.

Xiaojun 🦕 : He doesn’t get mad often, but when he does, it’s scary, so the fact that this could make him somehow angry, makes you anxious as hell. “Babe, in that role that I got.. well I got the script today and I kinda have to kiss a guy” You say to the mirror in front of you, still not convinced of your words. “So what?” He says, unexpectadely appearing from behind you. “I-I-” You couldn’t bring yourself to make sense out of your words so you kept on stuttering for a while, until his soft fingertips carress your cheeks softly. “It’s okay babe, there’s nothing wrong with a kiss scene” You look at him, wanting to believe him, but still quite scared of it all. “R-really?” He looks at you confused and kind of upset that you were so anxious about him getting mad at you. “Of course, babe, why are you- I wouldn’t get upset for that. I’m happy and proud that you got the role, you worked hard on it, and you deserve it okay?” 

Hendery 🐴 : He’s concerned about your anxiousness but he’s too afraid to ask what’s wrong, just like you’re too afraid to tell him what’s in your mind. You look at him, wondering why he was so silent, while he gets lost in your sparkly eyes, thinking just the same as you. But it is you who finally speaks up. “Would you be mad if I kissed another man?”  The question seems to somehow make the boy confused, as he wasn’t really expecting that. “Are you... cheating on me?” He asks slowly and you instantly shake your head. “No, no... nooo. NO That’s not what I meant. Like... You know when actors have to kiss right?” The boy simply nods, still confused at your question. “Would you be mad if I had to kiss someone while playing a character?” He furrows his brows, searching for an answer himself. “As long as you stay by my side...I won’t” You look at him, not believing his words. “Right...” You say confused. “Not even a little bit jealous?” He furrows his brows again and after a long hum he says “Nooo(?” 

Renjun 🦊 : “I heard you did a casting for a drama. Is that right?” He asks munching on a cookie. You look at him, arching a brow as you think on the possible outcomes. “Yeah, I did. Aaaand, I did get the main role” He smiles at the news and congratulates you, before he grabs another cookie. “But I kinda have a kiss scene” You munch to yourself, making it hard for the boy to hear it. “What did you say?” He stops eating his cookies, and his expression turns into a really serious one. “I have a kissing scene” You say louder, but still not as loud as you normally talked. “What kind of kiss? Like smooch? French kiss?” You look at him, completely in shock by his words. “Junniee!!!” You exclaim, hitting his arm softly. “What? I have to know”

Jeno 🐶 : You received the call in front of him, but you went out the room to talk more calmly throught the phone. And well, you couldn’t really hide it from him, since he already overheard some of the conversation. “Did you get it?” He asks, eyes still fixed on the screen as his videogame keeps making loud noises and producing bizarre scenarios on it. “I did” Your low voice doesn’t seem to hint enough to your boyfriend about something being wrong. “That’s great, I’m happy you got it. I know it means a lot for you” You sigh once, but he doesn’t notice, so you sigh harder. This time, he turns around and pauses his game to finally look at you and have a real conversation. When he first turns around, he’s mad but, when he sees that you’re tearing up, he becomes worried. “What’s wrong baby? What happened? I thought you really wanted the job” He says, coming closer to you, to hug you tightly. “I have to kiss an actor” You say in between loud cries. He pulls off the hug and grabs your shoulders strongly. “Is he that ugly that you’re crying?” He asks and you can’t help but laugh at his joke. “Idiot” You whisper before hugging him again.

Haechan 🐻 : “Babe, You didn’t update me on that role you auditioned for, did they not call yet?” He asks, eyes fixed on the highway as his hand rests on your thigh, softly carressing it. “They did” You say, looking straight up, way too scared to look at him. “And...?” He asks expecteadly. “I got the role” You say, still not looking at him. And your weird behavious doesn’t go unnoticed for the boy, who instantly asks you “What’s wrong?” You finally look at him, with a worried expression, that makes the boy way too worried to keep driving, so he stops by a gas station near by and now, looking right into your eyes, asks you “What’s wrong?” You look at him with teary eyes and tell him all about the kiss, the famous actor and how you were worried about him getting jealous. “Jealous??? ME???? HAHAHHAAHH You’re so funny Y/N. No, I’m not getting jealous, because there’s nobody better than me. I just pity you for having to kiss a man after experiencing a perfect kiss with me. Will for sure feel awful”

Jaemin 🐰 : You were talking about this and that when you let it out unconsciously. “Yeah because I don’t even know how to kiss a stranger... How will I do my kissing scene? Oh my god it’s gonna be embarrasing” He blinks a couple of times and you only realize what you just said after a long awkward silence. “Kissing scene?” He asks and you nod. “Okay, define kiss” He says, trying to get his shit together. “Like a ... smooch? I don’t know, I’ve enver done it, but people say it’s so awkward” He giggles at your concern. “Should we practice?” He asks teasingly before kissing your lips.

YangYang 🐑 : He went to the audition with you so you couldn’t hide it from him, even if you really wanted to. “I got in, but... before you congratulate me or whatever. You gotta know that I have a kiss scene, and I’m not rejecting the job,, even if you get mad. So, please, don’t get mad” You say to him, as calmed as you can. The boy’s reaction for sure is unexpected, as he starts laughing out loud at your words. “I’m not jealous baby. Not at all” He simply says in between laughs.

Shotaro 🦦 : He was dancing at the studio, as usual, and you guys planned on going on a date right after, so you were there, looking at how cool your boyfriend looked while dancing and thinking on how the hell were you gonna tell him. You sigh, trying to get your thoughts straight and think on a plan. He gets closer to you as soon as he finishes his dance routine and he smiles at you cutely. “We can go now” You look at him, dead serious and try your best to keep calm. “We need to talk, Shotaro” You see how his eyes get teary as soon as you say that. “Are you breaking up with me? Did I do something wrong?” He asks in between sniffes. “I- no... look” After you explain the whole situation to him, he calms down and understands your concern. “But that’s great baby, you got your dream job” He points out, kissing your cheeks right away. 

Chenle 🐬 : As soon as you tell him, he gets mad and you can tell by his expression. “Chenle, babe, you know I only love you. That won’t change” You try to reassure him, but his concerns go much deeper than that. “What if it does? What if he kisses better than me?” He asks, fired up by his emotions. “There’s no better kiss than yours, because you’re perfect baby. Your kisses are better because I love you and they actually mean something okay? Don’t worry”

Sungchan 🦌 : You went out on a date to celebrate that you got the role, however, he didn’t know you got a kissing scene as well. You had a whole plan about how you were gonna tell him at home, calmly, taking your time to discuss, buttt, well another actress that got a role on the same drama recognized you at the restaurant and she kinda spilled the tea. “You’re so lucky to have a kissing scene with the main actor, everyone says he kisses so well” You giggle uncomfortably and wait until she goes away to explain to Sungchan about the scene and everything, but he didn’t really seem to care about it. “Yeah like it’s fine, I thought you would get more kissing scenes”

Jisung 🐹 : He was so excited for you that he went to visit you on your first day recording. Unluckily for you, you were recording the kissing scene, so Jisung got really shocked by the situation. “I- Um- I brought you flowers” He says, lending you the beautiful flowers he was holding. ���Jisung!! I- I should have told you about the kissing scene before sorry” You tell him, scratching your head from embarrasment. “It’s okay. How did your first day go?” He asks cutely.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This took sooo loooong. Please have patience with requests T_T 

Masterlist –requests open– How to request?  Check out your score.

[yeontanismypresident]

Behave | myg + myj

a/n: oof okay so this idea came up bc @cultagustd, @minyoongleschimjoongles​, and i were having a uh spicy convo about what we want to do/have done to us by yoongi and yoonji and a lot of my kinks are being exposed so efhdc i also still suck at smut so pls don’t come and attack me, i know it’s not the best gtuhvf here you go enjoy umu 

Yoongi and Yoonji are not related in this.

pairing: min yoonji x gender neutral!reader x min yoongi 

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 3.6k

warning(s): deepthroating, fingering, spit, double penetration, spitroasting, sex toys, yoonji being a sexy ass bitch holy fUCk, collars, hickeys, spanking, choking, sex lol, yoongi bc holy fuck i love him and yes he is a warning, hair pulling, subspace, face riding, thigh riding, i think that’s it idk i might have also added some warnings that didn’t make the final draft so i apologize t_t

“You’re being such a good boy for me, kitten,” you say, gently circling the butt plug against his rim, smirking when you hear the way he whines. He pushes back against it, trying to get it to enter him. 

You tsk in disappointment, pulling it away and landing a hard smack on his left ass cheek, "Stay. Still." The whimper he lets out shoots straight to your lower abdomen, and the way he sticks his ass out, even more, causes you to moan. 

Rubbing your hand against his cheek soothingly, you grab the butt plug. Gathering spit in your mouth, you let it dribble onto the toy before placing it against his rim once again. He holds his breath, unconsciously clenching. 

"Relax, kitten," you say gently, pushing the tip in ever so slowly when he relaxes. 

Yoongi lets out a guttural groan, head and chest falling forward. He holds his breath as more of the sex toy enters him. You watch with hunger and desire as his hole stretches around the thickest part. Your boyfriend gasps when it pops the rest of the way in, squeezing around it, loving the feeling of being full. He wishes it was your strap instead, but he knows he'll get that later, especially if he behaves tonight. 

"You okay, kitten?" your voice is tender, fingers toying with the plug, teasingly tugging at it. 

He pants, nodding his head and wiggling his ass, "Yes, baby. I feel good."

"Are you ready to go out?" you ask him, getting up from your spot on the ground. Walking to the dresser, you grab the black kitten ears before making your way back to where he was still kneeling. Placing the cat ears next to the tail on the bed, you hum in satisfaction.

Yoongi gets off his hands, now just on his knees, and looks at you, "I'm ready. I promise I'll be your good boy." 

"I know you will, kitten," you're next to him now, hand cupping his jaw, "You're always a good boy for me." Adding force to your grip, you open his mouth and spit. The wanton moan he releases causes you to clench your legs together, trying to get some type of friction. 

It's nearly silent in Namjoon's studio, the only sounds being the quiet beats playing throughout the room, and Hoseok and his mumbling about the song. Yoongi crosses his legs, coughing to cover the whine he let out when the sex toy nudged his prostate.

Hoseok tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed in thought, "You okay, Yoongi-hyung?" You smirk, discreetly putting your hand into your pocket, and turning on the toy to the lowest setting.

"Yeah, you look a lil red, hyung," Namjoon says, concerned over their friend. 

Yoongi nods his head, gulping when he feels you turn it to the next setting, "Y-yeah, I'm fine! Ju-just a little h-hot." His voice cracks multiple times as he speaks, and his already red cheeks burn even more.

"Okay, if you say so..." Hoseok trails off, still eyeing the mint-haired man suspiciously. He was always so calm and collected, yet right now he was nervously fidgeting around, perspiration building on his forehead. 

Your boyfriend nearly chokes as you turn the vibrator to the highest setting. His head snaps in your direction, staring at you with wide eyes. He shifts in his seat, barely hearing the electric whirl of the toy inside him. Glancing at his two best friends, he notices they're both focused on the song they were working on, and he sighs in relief. He'd never hear the end of it if they were to know what was happening. 

Yoonji sings along to the song playing on the radio as she drives home. She had a long day at work, and she wanted nothing more than to just relax. The raven-haired woman frowns as thunder is heard, and lightning flashes across the darkening sky. Hopefully I can get into my house before it starts raining, she thinks to herself. As if to taunt her, it starts to pour. Hard. 

She can barely see out of her windshield, squinting her cat-like eyes, trying not to crash. Lightning strikes down a few feet ahead of her, and she continues driving, not realizing she had just entered an alternate universe, for it was raining there as well. Turning down the familiar street, she parks in the driveway and cuts the engine. 

Unlocking her door, she makes a mad dash to the front door, moving to unlock that as well. Slipping inside, she huffs and shakes her head, her slightly wet hair flicking little droplets of liquid everywhere. As she takes off her shoes, she hears a loud moan coming from her bedroom. Quietly making her way there, she tilts her head in confusion. Why the fuck would someone be in her place and moaning? 

Stopping in front of the bedroom door, she places her hand on the doorknob, takes a deep breath, and pushes the door open. There, in front of her, stood someone cooing at a kneeling man. Taking a closer look, she notices the male looks scarily like her. Before she knows it, she can feel arousal pooling in her lower stomach. She looks you up and down, licking her lips as impure thoughts cloud her mind. She smirks when you notice her, your eyes going wide, body freezing up at the beautiful woman in front of you. Next to you, Yoongi whines your name, wanting your attention back on him.

Yoonji takes in the scene, noticing the way you’re standing over Yoongi. She hums in mock disappointment, shaking her head, “Yeah, this isn’t gonna work. Y/n, get the fuck on your knees. Now.” 

You gulp, immediately doing as she had ordered. Once you’re on your knees, she walks closer, making your breathing pick up. You had dreamed of this happening ever since you had seen Yoongi dressed in that school girl's uniform. 

"You look so pretty, little bunny," she hums as she runs her fingers gently through your hair.

The pet name has your eyes fluttering shut, a sigh escaping your lips as you relax into her touch. A broken moan tumbles from your mouth when she suddenly grips your locks and gives it a hard tug. You're reminded of your boyfriend when his whimper sounds throughout the room.

Chancing a glance at him, you can see him still on his knees next to you, cheeks flushed and eyes blown wide. His cock is hard, tip slightly purple, precum leaking down the front. You lick your lips at the sight, wanting nothing more than to choke on it. 

Yoonji tugs your head to face her again, a sneer on her face, "I know what you're thinking, bunny, and the only thing you're choking on is my cock." 

"Yes, ma'am!" you grit out, liquid gathering in your eyes at the slight pain on your scalp. You now understand why Yoongi loves getting his hair pulled. It was just the right mix of pain and pleasure. 

She grins, "Good. Now, here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna be a good, little fuck toy and suck me off. Got that?" 

You frantically shake your head up and down, licking your lips at the images that flash through your mind. Yoonji slowly unbuttons her blouse, her long, delicate fingers flexing. You can feel yourself throb, wanting to feel those fingers down your throat. Once her shirt is off, your breath gets caught in your throat. You take in the way her smooth, milky skin shines in the moonlight beaming through the curtains. She's so ethereal, you think to yourself.

She unclasped her bra, and saliva collects in your mouth, wanting to sink your teeth into her breasts, to watch her pale skin turn red and purple. Yoonji stares at you with dark eyes, glancing at your boyfriend to see him staring at you with adoration. She smirks before quickly stepping out of her skirt. You groan loudly when you notice she's wearing nothing but a strap-on under the skirt.

Yoonji sits on the edge of the bed, beckoning you over to her with her finger. Desperately needing to please her, you quickly crawl towards her, stopping to kneel between her spread legs. Her digits tangle in your hair, one hand grasping the plastic cock and tapping the head on your bitten lips. 

Sticking out your tongue, you gaze up at her with wide eyes full of lust. She groans low in her throat before slipping the tip into your mouth. Fingers tightening in your locks, she suddenly pushes your head down onto her, biting her lip when she hears you gag. 

"Being such a good bunny," her voice is husky with desire, "Choking on my cock like the little slut you are." 

Her words have you whining in the back of your throat, tears falling as you take more of her cock in, tongue slurping around the thick length. God, you can't wait until it's pounding into you from the back. The tip hits the back of your esophagus, causing you to swallow around it. Off to the side, Yoongi is watching with lidded eyes, gaze focused on the way the front of your throat bulges every time you go down. 

Getting bored, Yoonji grabs your hair and harshly pulls you off of her, relishing in the way you whimper. Pulling you up from your kneeling position, she gently throws you onto the middle of the bed, "Hands and knees, bunny." 

Doing as told, you position yourself on your hands and knees, arching your back and sticking your ass out. A squeal leaves you as she smacks your ass five times. Climbing behind you, she grabs your waist with one hand while the other slowly guides the fake cock into you. A long drawn out moan tumbles past your lips as her hips snap forward until she's buried to the hilt. 

"W-what about me?" Yoongi nervously whispers out, not wanting to get into trouble for speaking without permission. He wanted you to have this moment, really he did, but he was also feeling left out, and just wanted to be near you.

Yoonji starts with slow and deep thrusts, looking over to stare at Yoongi with her cat-like eyes full of dominance, "Get on the bed and kneel in front of her." 

Yoongi is quick to follow the order, scrambling to kneel in front of you. He brings a shaky hand out towards you before quickly retreating it. He didn't know if he was allowed to touch you. Your boyfriend sighs with relief when you smile at him, and he quickly scoots closer, hands coming down to hold yours. 

Yoonji pulls out a small remote, where the fuck did she even get it, and hands it to you, "Here you go, bunny. Play with your little sub." 

Smirking, you watch Yoongi's facial expression as you turn the vibrator to the highest setting right from the beginning. He lets out a cry, body tensing as shivers wrack through his tiny frame. You coo at him, loving his reaction. Though, it's now your turn to cry out as Yoonji's thrusts pick up their pace, soon jackhammering into you. 

“Please, please can I cum?" Yoongi begs, tears gathering in his eyes and clinging to his lashes. You look behind you at Yoonji, wondering what her answer would be.

Yoonji slows her thrusts, hips flush against your ass, "He's your sub. You get to decide, bunny."

You stare at Yoongi, taking in his appearance. He's sat in front of you, cock leaking with precum. You can hear the whirl of the vibrator stuffed in his ass, set on the highest level. Right as you open your mouth to speak, Yoonji cuts you off.

"There's a twist, though," she starts, and you can hear the smirk in her words, "It's either you or him, bunny. Either he gets to cum, or you do." 

Chewing on your bottom lip, you stare into Yoongi's eyes, seeing the desperation in them. He's been such a good boy for you, and there's nothing you love more than seeing him cum. The way his eyes squeeze shut, his mouth opening in a silent scream. Fuck.

Your voice is soft and loving as you answer her, "I want him to cum, not me. He's been such a good boy tonight, following orders without any complaints." You can tell Yoongi likes the praise, his eyes gazing at you with that hazy look he always gets. 

"Are you close, baby boy?" you hum, trailing a finger down his cock, smirking when it twitches. 

Yoongi frantically nods as he grinds up into your hand, his chest heaving with how hard he was breathing. You had already given him permission, but he wanted to be 100 percent sure this is what you wanted. "Are you sure I can cum?" 

"Of course, baby," you say, your heart filling with love at how he asks. Here he was, so close to cumming, and he was making sure you didn't want to cum first. What a good, little sub, you think to yourself.

You grip his cock, feeling it throb in your hand, and start to jerk him off fast. Your voice is hard and commanding when you say, "Cum."

Yoongi's body freezes before shivering at the force of his orgasm. His eyes roll back, tears sliding down his cheeks, his mouth open as he lets out a scream, his cum landing on his stomach and chest. His fingers scramble to try and find something to grab a hold of. Grasping his hands in yours, you place little kisses on his knuckles. His grip is hard, clenching onto your hands like they're his lifeline.

"Good boy, you're such a good boy for me, baby," you whisper, continuing to peck his fingers. Praises leave your lips as he comes down from his high, "You look so pretty when you cum, baby boy. My good baby boy."

He opens his eyes and looks at you with a hazy gaze, mouth slightly parted. You can tell he's entered subspace judging by the look in his eyes. Smiling at him, you lean up to cup his face. Bringing your lips to meet his, you tenderly kiss him, whispering, "I love you," against his swollen lips. He mumbles it back before kissing you again. 

You break the kiss with a broken gasp as Yoonji starts thrusting into you. You had almost forgotten she was there, and you can tell she knows by how hard she spanks you. Her pace is fast and hard, strap-on dragging against your walls and hitting all the right places. 

"Y-Yoonji," you whine, fingers gripping the bed sheets tightly, knuckles turning white. Yoongi grabs them, allowing you to grip his hands instead. He watches as you close your eyes, leaning forward to lightly kiss your nose. A small grin forms on your face at his cute gesture, his giggle music to your ears.

One of Yoonji's hands finds its way to your hair, tangling in your locks while the other is holding your waist with a bruising grip. Her voice is low as she pants out, "Yeah? You like that, bunny? Like being a good little fuck toy for me?" 

"Yes, m-ma'am!" you cry out, tears building behind your lids. She was fucking you so well, and you were so fucking close to cumming. You can that coil in your lower stomach, can feel it ready to snap. Just a little bit more- 

A sob escapes your trembling lips, your orgasm dying down. Why did she stop? You were being such a good bunny for her, followed every order she had given you.

Yoonji bends forward, sweaty chest against your back, her voice soothing, "Sh, it's okay, baby, shh. Don't cry, little bunny." 

"W-why did you stop?" you stuttered, clenching around the toy inside you, "I thought it w-would be my t-turn." 

She pecks your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on your hips, "You do, baby, but wouldn't you rather cum from your sub's mouth and fingers?" 

Sniffling, you pathetically nod your head, teary gaze meeting your boyfriend's. There was sadness in his stare and a frown on his face. You tilt your head in confusion, silently question him as to why he was sad. 

"I don't like it when you cry," he mumbles, a bright blush coating his dumpling cheeks. You giggle, overwhelmed with love for him. 

Yoonji slowly pulls out of you, shushing you when you groan. She gently turns you over onto your back, leaving a passionate kiss on your mouth. Grabbing your legs, she tugs you down to the end of the bed. Your breath hitches, thinking she was going to go down on you. Yet, when she instead climbs back onto the bed, you're confused.

"Get on your knees, baby boy," Yoonji orders your boyfriend. He scrambles off the bed to kneel between your legs, and she takes his previous spot behind you.

She wraps one hand around your throat, causing you to gasp. Her voice is throaty as she speaks, "Here's what's gonna happen. Yoongi is gonna eat you out, and he won't stop until I say so. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, ma'am," you barely get out while Yoongi just nods obediently. 

The girl behind you reaches around you and grasps Yoongi's hair. Yoonji shoves Yoongi's head between your legs, her fingers gripping his hair tightly, causing him to whimper. He sticks his tongue out, licking a long strip up your thigh, leaving a trail of spit. He suckles the skin, creating red and purple bruises on your soft skin. You whine when he places his mouth everywhere but where you need him most.

You grip Yoongi's soft, mint-colored hair in your hands and tug, a moan stuck in your throat when he nips the soft flesh of your inner thigh. Taking pity on you, and not wanting to be punished, he finally places his hot, wet mouth on your most sensitive parts. 

You cry out, already feeling on the brink of orgasm when he starts to lick and suck. Head falling back to rest on Yoonji's shoulder, you whine and whimper. Her grip on your throat tightens, making you feel lightheaded in the best way. 

"You like that, bunny?" she asks, teeth nipping at your earlobe, "Like the way he fucks you with his tongue?" 

You pathetically whine, nodding your head as tears cascade down your rosy cheeks, "Y-yes! I love it so much, he's so good, oh my god."

"What if he added a finger? What if he added three straight away?" Yoonji hums, leaving a trail of kisses from your jaw down to your neck, creating her own hickeys across your skin.

Yoongi does exactly that, pushing three long fingers into you, his mouth traveling down to your shaking thighs. His fingers fuck you fast and hard, hitting your sweet spot straight on, causing you to scream out. 

"Can I cum, ma'am?" you beg, "Please? I need to cum." 

Yoonji hums, "I don't know, do you think she deserves to cum, Yoongi?" Your boyfriend pulls his mouth away from you, looking up at the two of you. You beg him with your eyes, beg him to let you cum. 

Feeling playful, he answers, "No, I don't think she does." A sob gets stuck in your throat, stomach clenching as you try so hard not to cum. 

How could he do this to you? You had let him cum right away, let him get his release instead of yous, and this is how he repays you?

"Oh? Hear that, bunny? Your baby boy said no," she says mockingly, a hand coming down to your chest, pinching your nipple. 

You hiccup, "Please! I've been so good! I need to cum, fuck, please!" Your head feels all fuzzy, can feel yourself entering subspace. 

"Mhm, you have been good for me, baby," she whispers as she brings both her hands to grip your thighs, pulling them apart, "You can cum, bunny." 

Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, the force of it causing your body to shake. You sob out both of their names, tears falling from your shut eyes. Your eyes fly open when Yoongi continues to fuck you with his fingers, adding a fourth one. 

You whine, trying to wiggle away from him, "Too much." Yoonji's hold on you is tight, making sure you couldn't escape your boyfriend's actions. 

"You're gonna be a good, little fuck toy and take it," Yoonji states, loving the way your whole body is shaking. She can tell you're already close, ready to burst again. 

You gasp, fingers finding the bed sheets and gripping them, "I can't! It's too much!" 

"You can, and you will," she knows you can handle it, knows you can cum one more time. 

The second Yoongi adds his tongue to the mix, your second orgasm hits you, and this time you blackout from the force of it. The last thing you remember is hearing Yoonji telling you what a good bunny you are, and Yoongi saying he loves you. 

You groan as you slowly open your eyes, feeling warmth surrounding you. Turning your head to the right, you see Yoongi cuddled into your side, little snores leaving him. Sighing when you feel fingers gently combing through your hair, you turn to see Yoonji staring at you with soft eyes and a small smile. 

"How are you feeling, bunny?" she whispers, not wanting to wake your sleeping boyfriend.

You smack your lips together, "I feel great, a little tired." Your voice is scratchy, nearly gone from all your screaming. "Wait! You didn't get to cum!" you quietly exclaim, about to climb on top of her, but she stops you.

"It's okay, bunny," she coos, "Just go to sleep. You can help me next time, okay?" Next time? There's gonna be a next time? You grin stupidly, eyes fluttering shut as you mumble out your agreement, unaware of the way she gazes at you.

tagging: @sagey-rages

[llvr-92]

DGM Pairing - LaviLena - Part 2

it takes so much time but here is the second part of why Lavi deserves Lenalee the most & why I think Hoshino sensei setting them up as a couple, I hope you enjoy this post. also, you can find part1 under LaviLena tag in my blog:                     

Part2:Noah's Ark Arc:

· So we started this arc with Lenalee getting sucked by Lero into the “Noah’s Ark”, as everyone falls on top of her she was unconscious the first person to go to her & pick her-up is Lavi, just look how he is protectively\closely holding her. (CH90- EP76).

· As they were fighting Debito & Jedero, Lavi told Allen to protect Lenalee and the other “Chouji” until he found the real key (CH100 – EP82).

· After that the crew leaves Krory behind Lenalee wanted to go back to him, Allen stopped her & kind of share a cute Allena moment but Lavi has to ruin it for them, Lavi is probably jealous of how Allen is holding her & how close his face to Lena face isn’t he?. (CH105-EP83).

· Allen was helping Lenalee to climb the stair he is holding her hand and then Lavi commented that “he wants to switch place with Allen”, Allen reply was “your real motivate is so obvious Lavi, he just wants to hold Lenalee’s hand”, After Lenalee letting her thought out loud, Lavi teased her about never finding a lover if she “didn’t think more sexy thought”, which makes her angry & replied to him “its none of your business Lavi” & Lavi’s answer was “it’s none of my business but…”, Lavi seems so lost to put any other word as he was also blushing & frustrated so he had to change the subject, from the way Hoshino sensei drew this scene I think it will return in the future arc you can see Lenalee noticing Lavi blushing toward her in the below right panel with a “?”, maybe she will have a flashback related to this scene in the future. (CH110 – EP84).

· After receiving the bad news about Kanda & Krory, Lenalee was terrified\worried but Lavi reaches out to her squeezed her hand & told her to get a hold of herself, at this point “I love how Lavi knows her personality & how will she react then he just act accordingly to comfort her. (CH111-EP85).

· Lenalee & Chouji are Locked-up, Lavi is the one to fight to free these two & manly to free Lenalee you can see Lenalee apologizing for Lavi as this fight is on away for her sake. (CH112).

· Lavi is shifted into Road dream world, but what Road exactly used to prepare the worst opponent for Lavi, worst dream by reading his record & peering into his memory, his opponent was his former self “Deak” & an interesting conversation started between the two\bookman, this is the important dialogue stated between the two:

· Deak to Lavi “the place of your heart doesn’t exist in this world, no matter whose heart let you in you can only watch them that’s is your punishment”, after this dialogue Lavi reply “I already know that” which is incorrect he doesn’t know as Deak answered him I wonder? Then it just happens that Lenalee appears in the next panel with this text “your eyes of the past were never lit with that weak light” as if it indicated that “Lenalee is currently Lavi’s light” (CH114-EP86).

§  But let's not forget Road real purpose is to break him mentally & for that she used Lenalee by sending her inside a coffin knowing how Lavi will react, perhaps after reading Lavi memories/record she discovers Lavi feelings for Lenalee which at this point “Lavi himself still doesn’t know his feeling yet”.

§  After he saw Lenalee he jumped & rushed to her side & he holds her closely “just take a look at how Hoshino sensei drew Lavi facial expression, how much he is so terrified”, also didn’t Lavi said a while ago this is just a dream/an illusion created by Road Kamelot yet he reacted this way toward a fake Lenalee “Lavi just can’t think rationally when it’s involving Lena” (CH114-EP86).

·  We had a flashback when Lavi first joined the order & his first meeting with Lenalee, again Hoshino-sensei choice for drawing Lavilena encounter is too beautiful, first, she gives us an overall view from the top just to showcase “there are a lot of people on the area”, but Lavi’s eyes set on Lenalee & on the same time Lenalee look at him while crying. “it’s like this is a girl & a boy encounter by fate, Lavi was so far away, yet they look at each other in the same time.

also regarding his encounter with Lenalee I believe it’s related to an answer which Lavi provided in the discussion room here is the question “Does Lavi have a thing for a cute girl with big breast” Allen answered “he’s a menace”, where Lavi had to stop him and answered “Hey, hold on! People think I only care about looks, but I'm pretty picky about personality too, “sometimes you see a girl and it just hit you” & just after this question Lavi stated that he is interested in Lenalee. 

We also seen Lenalee sitting beside him in the cafeteria, she looks comfortable with him even though he is a newbie she even pats his back.

· After breaking Lavi mentally Deak takes over his body, a fight started with Allen, Lavi was ruthless & powerful as the last hope Allen used “Lenalee is crying” hoping to influence Lavi emotionally & bring him to his sense, but why “Allen used Lenalee name, perhaps he knows that Lavi has a feeling for her, he is weak against her tears? “I will write about this in part 3”, anyway instead of influencing Lavi positively, it seems that “Lenalee name triggered him to punch Allen even harder, “just look at Deak gaze when Allen mentioned Lena name”.

why he seems pissed? This is just an assumption but “as Deak is the one taking over, he was furious because the reason why Lavi is changing is Lenalee, he knows Lavi is falling for her isn’t he? otherwise why using Lenalee as the main person to break his heart on Road dream, why Lenalee is one to appear in the flashback, why he is trying so hard to convince Lavi “she is nothing more than a small piece of history?”, falling for her will interfere with Lavi recording as he stated while Lavi’s holding Lenalee “don’t let your heart distract you & interfere with your record”, meaning whatever Bookman clan trying to achieve is at risk as we saw “Lavi breaking his bookman role multiple time for Lenalee sake on the previous arc, this arc & the upcoming arc as well.

·  Then Road stated something important I do think this will also be used on Lavi’s arc “if we ever reach there hopefully” once he becomes the bookman, which is “bookman are just onlookers for the sake of his record, he just walked alongside you guy” “those are that kid’s true feeling, you notice that Hoshino sensei put the text on Lenalee panel, even the anime version when Road said those words the frames were on Lenalee”

first, you see how these words affected Lenalee just look at how Hoshino-sensei draws Lenalee eyes she looks broken/desperate “Perhaps for the first time Lenalee was terrified from Lavi as a person”. after Lavi burned himself, Lenalee was also desperately hitting her leg wanting to save Lavi but unfortunately she didn’t have her innocence, once Allen & Lavi are out from the petrified fire she goes to “Lavi first”, instead of sharing a touchy moment, she gives him her Iron fist of love, but why Lenalee punch him in the first place I know Lavi was reckless, but it’s the same for Allen he was reckless against Tiki he didn’t get a punch, you may call me a biased but “Lenalee punching Lavi seems an act a girlfriend will do when the boyfriend had done risky thing & it’s a different vibe from when she hits Allen in the next chapter ”.

· Lavi lent his coat to Lenalee as she was revealing to much skin, just look how cute she is on Lavi’s coat, also isn’t Lavi acting like he is the perfect boyfriend, not to forget he showed a proactive side toward Lenalee being in a room with the womanizer Cross he had to rush to her with the other boys. “Lenalee are you sure he didn’t do anything to you?”

·  Personally, this arc was my favorite because I got attached to Lavi’s background & his suffering, I also know on this Arc that Lavi is hopelessly in love with Lenalee & not to mention through the years Lavi changed his name 48 times and all the previous persona are the same but Lavi differ before he was disappointed on the human race, didn’t get attached to anyone, he was only concentrating on recording, but all that changes once he encounters Lenalee, Lenalee changed him, did Lenalee changes Allen persona in any way? I don’t think so, we all know what motivates Allen it’s his promise to mana, so I do hope she gives Lavi a chance, but also Hoshino sensei put some elements which make this ship Impossible to Happen, which make me ship them more  T_T.

· I will be happy to receive any feedback positive or negative are all welcomed, BTW Part three is already finished I just need to do the final revision, but I haven’ really thought that it would be the longest one ^_^, what you all think shall I tried to delete some part or keep it long as it’s, I mean I have put extra thing such as why I support this ship, what I hate about it, my point of view about Hoshino sensei writing, an example from different Manga related to couple-endgame…..ETC.

[verwelktesgedicht]

When Otome-games break your heart?!?

I played my 2nd otome game ever... piofiore... and got ORLOKS FREAKING TRAGIC ENDING?!?!?!

WHAT THE HELL!!!

I came here to have a good time and after my first game, Nightshade-Hanzo’s adorable route which warmed my heart a lot and made me get interested in otome games because I loved his route so much, I decided to try out which route I would get in piofiore with a friend who had already played it (that’s how it was possible for me to get Orlok’s route right in the beginning) and WHAT THE FUCK!

First of all, I love tragic endings in books and movies and stuff! Really. I do. But..........

I know this was only my 2nd game but I can’t imagine any other otome ending could make me more heartbroken than this?!

I was so happy I got Orlok... T_T I didn’t aim for it. I just went with the flow. And then he showed up and I ended up with his route... that lost boy...... that adorable little boy who vows to protect me... Who has no real concept of what friendship and love is... Who has no real person who is there for him... Who is actually really just.. alone?? Who actually I want to protect and hug and show some happiness in this world! T_T

I loved the scene were he plays with the kids in the beginning while waiting for me... Those were the times T_T

___

Spoiler ahead

All the characters have 3 endings and a couple of endings during the story where I just... die if I don’t take care... (I don’t see them as real ending though xDD You NEED to reach one of those 3 real ones or it isn’t satisfying, right? xD) There was one mistake I made which led me to a bad ending where I sacrifice myself by accident and Orlok kills me. (Ooops.) And I thought how sad that was (but also kinda.. oww...... at least it was him?!) and that I was happy I saved the game not long before and that I do need to continue without dying in the middle of the game. Since it wasn’t one of his real three endings, I thought I can’t just stop here in the middle where I accidently got killed..

After finishing the whole route...

I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THAT BAD ENDING! I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED PLAYING THE GAME AT THAT POINT AND BE HAPPY WITH ME SACRIFICING MYSELF! It wasn’t as heartbreaking as the real end... Far from it.

But no! Of course I continued and then I reached the last chapter and it was titled “Albtraum” and my head just went.. “Fuck. No. Please no.”

When I reached that rape... that I “agreed” to only because I wanted to protect Orlok and that he himself even has to watch.. That broke my heart. I didn’t expect it would still get worse!? (But also... maybe this WAS the part that, thinking of it afterwards, I thought of the worst..... I mean... the raping is the worst. But in addition to that... Orlok, lying there, seeing it and begging for it to stop and knowing that this happens only because I agreed to do whatever is asked from me, so that he doesn’t die.. and he has to experience all this happening to his love without being able to help even though he promised to protect me?! Wow.)

And when I sneak into the jail to free him and he mentioned how I smell of that Mafia boss guy (because hey... have to be with him every. freaking. following. night. of my life.)... When we have that one last talk..... and Orlok declines leaving without me (not that he could WITH CUT TENDONS!!!).. and then.... that asshole of a Mafia boss finds us and... I get my tendons cut too so I can’t come down to the jail anymore and we are both there in the same mansion but will never be able to meet each other again, not talking of escaping, because none of us can walk anymore... Also not being able to kill ourselves because that would mean breaking our promises/being responsible for the other one to be killed... “I cursed God for the first time in my life.” And the “the End”-screen appears.....!?

This really hit me hard?!

And then the extra bonus scene afterwards in jail where Orlok dreams of us being happy together and then he wakes up... and, half-dead, forbids himself to die because he promised to be near me until the very end?? When he forces the food into his body?! And wonders where he (and FREAKING I) went wrong... And ends up deciding that all went wrong with his birth... And that a scenario where he saves me never existed from the beginning. (It DID... I just fucked up.) Holy shit...

I thought tragic ends are like..... the guy sacrifices himself for her to rescue her from.. I don’t know.. a bullet or so. And then he dies. And maybe she kills herself too because of the sadness. And that would be tragic! But I didn’t expect.. THIS!

Also. Respect for the voice actor. The extra scene in jail.... wow. Just wow.

I just quote the sentence that appeared above the “the End”: “Heu, Fortuna, quis est crudelior in nos“

Many tears flowed that day. I mean, if you watch a movie or read a book and it would end like that, it will be super tragic! But... you aren’t that CLOSE?! With a game like this you play it for hours over hours. You ARE the girl and you hope for a good ending and then it ends like this and you are kind of RESPONSIBLE for it?! You wonder where you went wrong... T_T

....

Well... but... I do have to say.. okay, after that ending it sounds wrong to say “this game was fun!!” but I do have to say... it was fun except for the ending T_T it was interesting and thought-through I guess? It did have an unexpected and far from boring ending.. how hard it was.. it was still... interesting... from an objective point of view.... It was good and tragic and maybe a little TOO tragic. But it was... from the writing point of view.. good.

I also like that most of the time you have absolutely no idea which decision is the right one (or was that only me?) and even after making it you often still don’t know. That was very interesting and exciting.

Orlok was so interesting because he is the only one who is alone, I think? He doesn’t really have anyone. While the othere characters have their families...

I do like the game... I do like Orlok’s route... I wonder if I can ever play any other route after this T__T I mean.. I heard Mr. Mafia-boss, who did this horrible stuff to those, has a good route as well..

But I guess I need some time off this game first xD”““

[haknew]

pls talk about your thoughts about chanhee and also the other concepts!! I always have such a hard time interpreting music and videos but i love to read about it

“bestie pls share ur thoughts on make your own concepts specifically chanhee’s but any others that are ur fave too 🎤- mar”

omg mar thank you for enabling me all day today 😭🥺🧡 thenks bestie ily :,)) and thank you too anon ! i should preface that T-T i have not read any other theories or analyses so these are just my opinions / impressions but i hope it’s entertaining to read about haha :p ! (feel free @ anyone to add on or share your thoughts too ! :,))

HYUNJAE - okay so audio cues... if you listen to the beginning there’s a sound of a bomb going off before the music starts ? and that ties into the dystopian / cyborg aesthetics that jump out at me of course, but what i immediately thought of was their no air perfo ? like we know hyunjae in the no air mv got that shot where he’s laying in the bathtub filled with water but also their kingdom performance with it also had those underwater shots ! so i think it ties into that... i feel like we saw in gen z, he’s a very straightforward person he says things on his mind which can come off as blunt but he thinks it’s better than not saying it ? which is interesting bc i think that speaks to his self- determined personality, he’s much more inclined to do whatever it takes to get something done, which i think falls perfectly in line with the “make your own air” phrase that he gets, if it’s something he needs he makes it himself, in a situational sense methinks u.u 

 JUYEON - JUYEON’S DJSKHDG i’m waiting for dri’s essay but in essence we see the gen z “juyeon is not such a good boy” shot and these text bubbles that pop up that say “sexy” “you so hot” “such a bad boy” and tbh i like this ‘concept’ ? for him better than his gen z one ? it’s not bc of the concept itself but i like the idea that he can “make your own character” as in he has the capability and power to be whoever he wants to ! you see him throwing white paint at the gen z canvas and i think ?! that’s symbolic of like a fresh canvas ! of remaking himself to whatever he wants bc the canvas is now blank again thanks to the white paint and flowers usually indicate spring ? so renewal and stuff like that ! i really like his, it’s also fun word play on “character” which has been juyeon’s intro in tbz (bc his name sounds like main character in korean) but yea :o ! i really love his the idea he can just repaint / paint over a literal image of him gives it the possibility of becoming smth new and that’s so so cool

CHANGMIN - SCREEEEECH okie um oh boy um *windows shutting down noises* this was so so so very different from his gen z stuff but i actually think BOTH are equally perfect for him ? the way that he set up the sparklers and neon lights on this very obviously trashy and kind of rundown rooftop with the cityline behind him is so ?!?!? LITERALLY making his own stage as his tagline goes, sort of like how the physical stage itself does not matter but rather it’s changmin himself that makes the stage special ! i talked about this in gabi’s set that i rbed ;-;/ but changmin puts a lot A LOT of stake in his position as a dancer it means almost everything to him as a form of expression from what i can see ? so he’s always trying his best to put forward the best performance possible and seeing this segment makes me feel like he’s doing just that ! pouring himself into it to make his stage pls i care him 

HAKNYEON - god i’m a jusadan but just u.u rest in peace me, i’ll ... T_T be kind of honest this one confuses me a little ? i have assumptions and i feel like i know ... quite a bit about haknyeon (LMAO) my best guess is it has smth to do with self assurance ...? the way he’s framed and the fact that he’s sitting on a bed in the middle of a church surrounded by candles gives me christ figure symbolism (where my ap english takers at :/) and the light that perfectly frames him in a halo gives me angel vibes too, but the tagline of “make your own romance” paired with him kissing his reflection makes me think it’s about self love ;;;; from what i can tell haknyeon has always been someone who really likes feeling validated and praised for the stuff he does well, which he does for himself a lot of the times too ! but sometimes i think the self assurances he compliments himself with is more for reassuring himself rather than bragging (which i think people misinterpret) so it’s more about becoming the person he wants to fully love and being happie with himself which *tears* i might be reading too much into who knows i just love him ok ... U.U 

KEBINNN - i know !!! dri mentioned this in my gifset tags but ! kev on kpop daebak (? was it) or smth mentioned how he strives to keep a childlike wonderment for the world around him, which is a reason why i think he loves drawing and sound / music production, he talked in a fancafe post once about an artist who turned mediocre everyday objects into art and he said he really loves that sense of wonderment so peter pan who “never grows up” is actually perfect for his worldview ahhhh T^T also kev really likes disney lmao, the way he’s doing this outside in this “neverland” garden on a balcony which is a part of this very typical apartment backed by a typical city bg also i believe ties into this turning a mediocre everyday thing into smth wonderful through his sense of childlike wonderment and his tagline of “make your own fantasy” (i also care him a lot this concept >>>>>>) and keeps to his referencing movie plotlines like he did in gen z jddkfj

SUNWOO - i also mentioned this in my tags on sunu’s set but this gives me 100 degrees vibes which i still to this day think is one of the most “sunwoo” vibe things ever, it’s a lot of him having fun and doing his own thing, and mixes both more mature and youthful aspects together in a way that i’d only ever describe as sunwoo vibes LMAO like the roller skating around and all the soap bubbles ! cute and youthful ! the crop top and celine wasitband (don’t laugh at me we all noticed) more mature and a callback to his gen z look methinks U.u, think sunwoo has always been a more go-with-the-flow or do whatever he feels like doing sort of person and so “make your own vibe” fits well with him in that sense to me 

SANGYEON - .... *silence* *more windows shutting down noises* *jess.exe has stopped working* OKAY i feel like ! sangyeon’s is also more self explanatory :p i love the juxtaposition of boxing AND the arcade type fighter games ?? like both require very different sets of skills i feel like one is more physical the other is more mental ? but both require adapting to changes whether in the game or the boxing ring which as leader sangyeon would know a lot about, esp being flexible and quick to respond to different situations, and the “make your own glory” i feel is maybe more on the nose, but tbz are this man’s pride and joy you can see it literally anywhere and for him, as leader, to have made it this far with tbz, winning rtk and building their popularity through their hard work and efforts really is building his own glory and i just HHHHHHHHHH

YES EYYSFDHSHF CHANHEE YES - i said it in the tags of my srb before deleting it so i’ll just repeat it here but CHOI CHANHEE !!!!! this detail i didn’t quite process first watch was the continuous flashing of lights in all his scenes, like ... from the shots and the set it looks REALLY empty ?? but the flashing seems to indicate cameras and photos being taken of him despite there being no people we can really see in any of the shots ? WHICH IS SO COOL i think the implication is like “all eyes on him” type which SO TRU i love that idea, like i said the walking past the wedding dresses ? v heavily implies fashion designer which i think you mentioned mar :o ! and i see it in the sense of his tagline “make your own stereotype” bc white wedding dresses are the very traditional / typical choice and obviously feminine in stereotypes, whereas chanhee is wearing a SUIT which is all black in a very clean b/w set with no color which i feel is very stereotypically MASCULINE and the glasses too, it’s such an interesting contrast of his “stereotypically feminine” features (in my view) with very masculine symbols, like glasses we usually associate with more soft hearted / meek stereotypes ? but the geometric shape of the windows and again his suit seems to indicate the very opposite ? it’s a mixing of stereotypes which i think is the point, by putting those together he quite literally makes his own stereotype and puts on the crown while the cameras continue flashing while pointed at him AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOUNGHOON - okie might have less to say about this one :o i feel like both hak’s and younghoon’s i don’t see the connections quite as readily but ! i think it’s interesting that his tagline is “make your own classic” but then in the scenes itself he has a flip phone ??? with an antenna (okay boomer /j JDHFKFG JK PLS) and a teddy bear while in PERIOD stylized clothing and setting where those two things are more modern / contemporary in origin (but also not modern enough bc ,,, it’s a flip phone LOL) like 90s kid vibes ? you know but as an emperor in the joseon era haha :p while eating shrimp chips and reading a (comic ?) book, like idk too much of what it means but it’s a cool dichotomy LOL, think it might also tie into actor ! hoon bc it’s make your own classic and i think acting has become a very important aspect to him :o after seeing what he’s capable of in love revolution and his atbz video so it’s interesting u.u (need help w/ this one)

JACOB - think my explanation in han’s set’s tags didn’t really make sense so lemme ... reexplain LOL,,, so ! similar to his gen z video ? like he’s talked about how difficult it is to open up about his own feelings etc. and he said it’s less bc he realizes he needs to but rather just to make other people feel more comfortable when it comes to understanding him, and like the whole breaking the mirror with his reflection in the wanna be angry jacob, it’s about freeing himself to the point he can express the emotions he wants to ! in gen z it was about being able to be angry when he felt that way instead of being tied by his image of being just nice ? and in the video with his pilot uniform not only does he control the ride but he also rides on it himself ! quite literally making his own freedom (symbolically), a sort of realizing he can free himself ? from what’s been tying him down and i think the really big smile he has while riding it just comes to show how he wants to feel :,))) (jacob bae i care you) 

ERIC - last one :p AHHH this is one of my favs too, the quite literal “make your own pride” I LOVE IT ! sooo i think the biggest takeaway i got was that of course in this video his “pride” is symbolized by the hot pink car (that he’s going to pick up his christmassy date in of course u.u if he has a license which he does n- his driver’s license in this was literally his aaa / boy version of reveal photo which in no dmv anywhere would a license picture be allowed to look that good-) and LITERALLY when he finished and takes it for a joy ride while sitting on the roof he’s STILL covered in the dirt and grime stains ! from working on it ! which i think is so symbolic ! it’s my favorite detail actually, he literally put sweat into this car which is his pride and now that he’s finally riding around in it, it feels accomplishing ! his pride ! love that, also when he’s grabbing a stub from that flyer i noticed he chose “youth” over the others (which was like .... ca$h, beauty, ice cream, hamburger...) which i think also just indicates that despite all this hard work he put in he still cherishes his youth and still lets that be a huge part of who he is (i mean pink car so of course) so idk i think it’s very neat go bestie mwah

[sunshine304]

I am so so sorry that it took me this long to continue my LoF watching posts! RL, y’know. Ep 26 felt like a good place to take a breather, as well, so that’s what I did.

 Anyway, let’s move on to eps 27 and 28!

It’s exposition time! Zhou Fei and ChuChu are at a tea house and hear about an army deserter who was trained on the Mountain of the Immortals (has this been mentioned before... IDK), was poisoned and became a monk. A-Fei thinks this story sounds familiar (indeed it does, indeed it does...) and ChuChu remembers having read sth like this in a book (the book of ... Peng Lai? I think?).

Oh look, Huo Fort becomes relevant again! I forgot about them. Anyway, Huo Lintao, who is now the boss and seems to not be well liked basically everywhere, wants to fight Disha and invites people from Jianghu to his Destroy Disha Assembly (God, I just love that name XD). Li Sheng & 48 Strongholds get an invite and he wants to investigate. Huo Fort is also... attacked by random cultivators I guess?

Meanwhile, let’s check in on Yin Pei! He still can’t deal with his internal injury (loss of internal power? still not sure; I’m assuming it’s sth like severe damage to a golden core in xanxia or even complete loss of one) and scours Old Daoist Master Chongxiao’s rooms for the Phoenix Pill, which... I think gives you lots of power but is also really super dangerous? 

This show sure has lots of useful but also dangerous power restoring/improving pills and needles, huh?

Anyway, Yin Pei takes the pill. He does not feel so good. Uh oh.

Li Yan and Yang Jin go in search for A-Fei again – uhm, didn’t A-Fei simply go into town with ChuChu? Why are they searching for her again, other that Yang Jin wants to fight her because one obvious defeat isn’t enough? I'm guessing there has been a time skip again...

Meanwhile, at Disha Manor! Shen Tianshu is nursing his wounded ego I guess, while Chu Tianyu, an older member, is now supposed to take care of all this drama, but he doesn’t really want to because he’s retired. How many weird members of Disha are there?

Oh okay, so Yin Pei goes kinda crazy because of the scabbard since it seems to be gone, takes more of the Phoenix Pills, which is a fucking stupid idea, we get some exposition that this might turn him into a demon of some sort, and then he kills Chongxiao for the scabbard because he thinks that the old master wants it for himself.

Which, you know, isn’t true, but that’s what you get for being so secretive, I guess. Chongxiao actually wanted the scabbard so a forger could make lots of copies of it, so that Yin Pei can keep the original one. *sigh* Well, too late now. Yin Pei also meets that evil guy from way back in ep 7 or 8 who’d fought Chongxiao and Li Sheng, who calls himself the Black Judge (I’m too lazy to look up his name and hope he doesn’t really become that relevant). 

I’m kinda sad that Yin Pei simply seems to go the “Oops I’m super crazy now“ route instead of having a more interesting redemption arc. I also... don’t really know what he wants to do now? He’s got the scabbard of his father... Are there still people alive he could take revenge on? Disha I guess?

But! The song that plays while Yin Pei confronts Chongxiao is awesome! I'm in love.♥

Back to the main characters, thank you! Xie Yun is really ill and freezing, the poison taking its toll. He’s at the same inn as two new characters (noooo, no more characters, have mercy!) Zhu Chen and Zhu Ying of the small Zhu sect, who are there for that assembly. They eye XY and feel sorry for him. We instantly know that these are Good People.

Aaaaaand introducing another new character, Ying Hecong, Poison Doctor! I know he’s relevant because he’s got a poster!

Of course Zhou Fei just misses Xie Yun in that inn. *sigh* But then she meets Li Yan and Yang Jin there, which is nice. 

Yet another new character!  He’s Black Tortoise Ding Kui and has henchman that are dressed in a rather peculiar way. Is this now the same as with that Azure Dragon guy, and I don’t really have to remember him? He’s from the 4 Guardians Mountain (speaking of which, where tf is Mu XiaoQiao!?).

Okay okay I see now. Everyone is in LingLing for that meet up with the Huo family! Madame Nichang is there too! Ah my beloved! ♥ She tells Xie Yun to follow his heart, and not be stupid and only think of his end. 

Xie Yun is all evasive of course, and then he meets up with Cheng Zichen who of course is also there! Because of this he finds out that Zhou Fei is there, too, which puts him into a conflict. Because his running away was going so well, dammit!

On to Ep 28!

Xie Yun hides out in the carriage with Ling Yu of the Feather Robe Troupe, who slyly comments on him running away from Zhou Fei. He’s sad and says that it’s not A-Fei’s fault and that he’s just an unlucky person who is not good for her. T_T Kill me, why don’t you.

A-Fei has learned a lot and notices XY’s ruse, yay go my heroine!♥

She catches him and they fight, and she asks him about the poison. Zhou Fei obviously suspects ahhhh! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But of course when XY seems happy that she was looking for him, she goes all haughty again and is like, “It’s only because of the HYTS!“ (although no it was mainly because of him and she looks light she might burst into tears any moment now, too...)

They get distracted by the procession of Black Tortoise Master walking by and A-Fei knocks XY out. They’re even now! XD

Nice to see the whole gang together as A-Fei drags the unconscious Xie Yun to an inn! ChuChu my beloved! ♥

OMG Li Sheng and Yang Jin getting into this peacock fight! XD Li Sheng scolds his sister and Yang Jin is super pissed about it. Li Yan is looking sooo smug, like “Yep that's my very own protective himbo!“ XD

Then Li Sheng is sent off to find Madame Nichang because she at least might know what to do about Xie Yun.

Ding Kui arrives at the Hui Fort. If I understood correctly... Hui Lintao wants to... kill all the cultivators when they arrive for his assembly? Or just those other cultivators that are randomly attacking him? There's traps in the forest they have go through. He specifically mentions that the traps are set after Daoist Master Chongxiao’s design, so hm might Li Sheng be of great help here later? Anyway, that old guy from Disha is there and seems to find all of this very funny. I’m confused.

Mu Xiaoqiao my love!!!!!!! He’s back!!!!  For about 5 seconds but there he is, looking fabulous! ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Ding Kui (who... has left the Huo Fort I guess) wants to work with him and reminds him of his debt to the Huo Fort. I had forgotten about that.

Oh let’s check in for about a minute on Yin Pei, who is still crazy and slaughters some people... uhm somewhere. He also now calls himself the true Master of Clear Light. [at least I think it’s supposed to be his new name?] Nicely written on the door in blood. Okay then.

But the instrumental of his song plays in the background, making all of this much more epic, so it’s fine.

Madame Nichang arrives, is shocked, and states that Xie Yun is poisoned, as A-Fei feared, and he has a year if he doesn’t use his internal force anymore. A-Fei is devastated and we get their love song while she rubs his (supposedly) ice-cold hand. Oh my heart. T_T

Ying Hecong arrives because he wants to see the poisoned guy! XD He has never heard of tact. 

Since A-Fei is desperate she lets him in, and we get some exposition in bits and pieces. Ying Hecong first assumes that XY must’ve been poisoned about a month ago (which fits the fight against Disha, where he used the needle), but wonders how that could be because Lian Sheng (the poisoner known for bone piercing blue) has been missing for a while longer. He lets slip that he isn’t actually a doctor, uhm yeah....

Oh not A-Fei is so sad and crying, nooooo T_T She’s angry at XY, asking why he had to meddle in her affairs and then leave to just die somewhere alone. Oh nooooo.  ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ

(side note: easy scene for Wang Yibo, just lying there the whole time, no lines for once XD)

A-Fei gets the Tianmen Lock from Madam Nichang (a special lock that has a double lock mechanism that is very difficult to open. Md. Nichang actually alludes to this lock being very useful for lovers and I’m like... okay XD). YunFei are kinky as ever, nothing new here – A-Fei is so pissed at XY that she doesn’t want him to have the chance to run away again. XD

Loved how XY complained about the lock destroying his posture. XD And how Zhou Fei’s like, “It’s not my fault you’re bound like that, Li Sheng is to blame!“ while the flashback tells us, that uhm no, he’s not. XD

Ending with A-Fei telling Yang Jin about the Hai Tian Yi Se. Ah they’re important relics it seems. Well whatever. XY listens in.

I really need to keep on watching, it seems stuff is happening.

[avionvadion]

Chapter 12. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907166/chapters/57482020

Eleanora meeting Jade! :D Mostly wanted to draw more Jade, so... yeah. Haha. His eyes still give me some trouble though. I can do Floyd just fine??? But not Jade, which saddens me since he’s actually my favorite of the twins. T_T 

Story scene below: 

“Hmm~? My, my; you look troubled…”

I jumped at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, head snapping up to see who was talking. To my alarm it was a very tall man, with pale skin and neatly brushed teal hair. There was a long black streak of hair on the left side of his face reaching down to just below his chin, and he had a pair of very sharp heterochromic eyes. While his right was a dark olive, his left was a bright yellow, and a diamond-shaped earring dangled from his left ear. Overall, this person was very pretty.

He seemed quite polite as well, though that smile of his… unnerved me. I tensed when the man stepped closer, watching as he knelt down before me so we were on even speaking ground. “You’re the girl that the school wrongly collected, are you not? That attire you are wearing- could it be you were made a student after all?”

“...Y-Yeah…” Who is this person? What does he want? I hurriedly cleared my throat, blinking a couple times and turning away, trying to figure out an escape from this situation. “Um, hi. Wh-Who are you?”

“Hm?” He looked surprised, before he chuckled and pressed a hand to his chest. “My apologies. My name is Jade Leech. You are… Eleanora Quince, correct? Oh- please do not be startled. Rumors of you have already started spreading around. It’s not everyday a girl joins an all boys school, after all.”

Yeah, he’s definitely setting off several warning bells. I need to get out of here. How can I collect the books and take off without seeming suspicious or rude? Ace, Deuce, please hurry up. I’m scared. I gave a weak laugh at the man’s words, sitting up a little straighter and repositioning my legs just slightly so to try and make it seem like my behavior was natural, attempting to get ready to stand.

“T-True… the, uh, headmaster just kinda threw me in here like “oh, problem solved” so… I’m here! Haha.”

Jade hummed. “As the magicless human you are… that must be very problematic.”

“Huh?” I blinked. “O-Oh, um, not really? It’s… fine.”

“Then… might I ask what is troubling you?” He inquired, voice ever-so-gentle. “I know someone you can go to for help. He is quite excellent in all that he does.”

Oh boy. This conversation is winding up into dangerous territory. I have a bad feeling about all of this. If I didn’t turn him away now I was going to get dragged into something unsavory; I can feel it. Slowly rising to my feet I flashed the man a bright grin, my palms pressed against the wall behind me. I ignored how this person was towering over me with his six-foot-two height and instead slid my feet sideways, moving closer to the books I had stacked next to each other.

“I-I’m okay, thanks.” I said, shoving all my negative thoughts and emotions away, channeling as much cheeriness as I could. “Sorry. I-I just, uh, don’t think anyone can really… um… help with my… situation…”

I really didn’t want to tell this person what was bothering me. I could be wrong and was judging merely because of how on edge I was since coming to this world, but letting him know I was basically an alien felt like the wrong move. The look in his heterochromic eyes freaked me out greatly.

“Now, now; don’t say such things…” The warning bells in my head grew louder when he reached forward, gloved fingers brushing away a stray tear that was on my cheek. I inhaled sharply, very much alarmed. He had me trapped against the wall at this point, like I was some sort of cornered mouse, and I could feel my heart bodyslamming my ribcage- breathing becoming uneven quick. “You’ll never know if you don’t try. And Azul is very good at making dreams come true.”

Is… Is his teeth the same as the headmaster’s? Eughhh! No, no, no! I may be the alien here, but these people are aliens to me! Aghhhh, that’s terrifying! He feels like some kind of mythological monster. A pretty face and gentle voice meant to lure in their victims, and when they’re in reach… they eat them.

Like a siren! Oh gods.

That’s totally what this is right now, isn’t it? Jade is playing nice right now, but I bet as soon as I go to meet this Azul person, then- “Wait, Azul? The pretty octopus guy from the ceremony?” My brain came to an abrupt halt, realization dawning on me fast. The man looked startled.

“Ah… y-yes. You already know of him?”

“Not really?” I answered, momentarily distracted by the memory as I tried to recall what all happened with him. “He… He caught… Grim and… Leona threatened him… oh!” I snapped to attention, bringing my arms out from behind my back and clapping my hands together, face brightening. Jade had pulled away slightly, clearly surprised by my change of behavior. “He said he made a potion to give himself legs! Is that true!? Is he really an octopus mermaid? Man. Merman?”

Wait. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to think.

“I’m confused. Either way, that’s really cool!” I looked back up at Jade, swinging my hands excitedly through the air. “Are there other mermen here!? Are they also octopuses? Er, octopi? I don’t know words. Anyway! There’s-”

Too much. Too much talking. My rambling was brought to an abrupt halt as I broke out into several harsh coughs, an arm raising up to cover my mouth quickly. I flinched, wheezing, pressing my other hand to my chest.

“S-Sorry…”

Frick. My brain suddenly decided now was the perfect time to have me disappear, because I whirled around and looked out the window to see that Ace and Deuce were currently bickering with Grim in the courtyard- the cat monster crushed underneath a cauldron. I had been so wrapped up in my conversation with Jade that I didn’t hear them at all.

“Gah! Th-The guys! I-I gotta go, sorry!”

I scrambled past Jade and stacked up the books, struggling to hold them all without tumbling over, and I flashed him an awkward smile.

“Nice meeting you! Bye-bye~!”

He blinked, watching as I wandered off into the courtyard.