#watching ep 4 for the third time

[florbexter]

The truth is: at this point, I'm just vibing with 4 Minutes. I'm too dumb for all the theories about timelines, I wouldn't have thought about those possibilities until reading all the posts lol.

And that's ok. (I'm here for entertainment and Bible's butt).

But.

With Sammon you really can't trust POV's, timelines or narratives. But you can trust the symbolism.

Which is why the dinner scene is one of my favourites.

Because it's a sword.

The table is obnoxiously long, sorry even if they have regular dinner parties at that place they would have a separate room for those gatherings.

Great sat (which was a conscious decision hello foreshadowing) at the end of the table, at the point of the sword, while his parents and brother are the handle of the sword... from where do you push a sword through someone's chest? Yeah.

And while we already have the confirmation that the shady gambling business is most likely at the centre of all the fuckery that will be the downfall of everyone, it also confirms (for me) that neither Great's mother nor Korn will or can help Great when shit hits the fan.

That's what my brain chose to cling to after the first episode (next to that Tonkla will kill Korn and I would love it if we were in Great's memories because that would mean he's the ultimate unreliable narrator)

[5-pp-man]

This is the 3rd time ive watched this 1st ep over the years.

[thecutepoison]

This is very speculative, but I'm suspecting Kipperlily is using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids and if I'm right I might have figured how she got found out by the rogue teacher!

First, let me explain my paranoid thoughts about the spying. Since ep 3, we are aware that Kipperlily is hearing their conversations, even if we don't know for sure the extent of it. She, just like Riz, must have a crazy stealth modifier + reliable talent, however I don't think she's relying only on that.

So, there's a scene in ep 4 when the Bad Kids roll for perception to spot Kipperlily. Kristen casts See Invisibility and Fabian rolls a nat 20. Brennan describes, only to Fabian, that although he doesn't see Kipperlily, he feels the "twinge of some kind of sense". Very creepy. That implies that she's there but cannot be seen. She could be invisible, however I don't think that's the case because an invisible person could still be perceived through hearing or touch. Also, Kristen would have been able to see her because of the spell.

With that in mind, the paranoid goblin that lives inside my brain is convinced that she's using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids. The Border Ethereal is perfect for infiltration and spywork, since you pass through physical objects and watch everything in the material plane without ppl there perceiving you. There are a couple of ways to access the Ethereal Plane, with spells or items, but I have no ideia abt the specific method she might be using.

Her being in the ethereal plane explains why Fabian, with his nat 20, didn't notice any physical indicatives of Kipperlily but still felt a presence, like some sixth sense. Now, Adaine did use her Third Eye so she could see into the Ethereal Plane within 60 feet and still saw nothing. But that doesn't mean that Kipperlily isn't there since there's a very easy way to circumvent Adaine: Non detection. This is a third level spell that hides the target from divination magic - for 8 hours they "can’t be targeted by any divination magic or perceived through magical scrying sensors". The Rat Grinders, long time haters of the Bad Kids, are for sure aware that Adaine is a divination wizard, they would be fools to spy on the party without casting Non Detection first. She's the motherfucking elven oracle!

Okay, now about the rogue teacher. In ep 3, Siobhan theorizes the rogue professor is the ghost teacher. I think she's absolutely right! We know most teachers of Aguefort and even if the ghost one was among those we havent seen, the Bad Kids would probably have heard about them if they were teaching something like ranger class. It's plausible that the reason for the party having no ideia who they are and not even passing by them in the halls is that the ghost is the rogue professor. After all, no one knows who the hell they are, it's the whole point of their teaching method. And for a ghost it would be really easy to go undetected since they can travel through the Ethereal Plane, beside the insane stealth.

Indulge my conspiracy theories for a minute. Rogue professor = Ghost Teacher and Kipperlily can wander in the Ethereal Plane, the plane of ghosts. Even with the advantage of being on the same plane as the teacher, it would still be a nightmare to find them since they are a pro rogue. In fact, Kipperlily didn't achive that: the rogue teacher found her.

But how did she manage to have the professor find her? I'm sure it wasn't an accident, she's too calculating for that. So, I started thinking about what would I do in her place and came up with the stupidest ideia. It's utterly ridiculous. But it could totally work and the strategy seems kinda Kipperlily's style.

Remember the Ghost Steak? The one Fig tried to eat when she invaded the teacher's lounge in season one? It's the ghost teacher's lunch, and Brennan reestablished its existence in ep 3 when Adaine used Ethereal Sight, explaining that the school wards are porous enough to allow ethereal travel and other stuff.

So if I was Kipperlily, my dumbass plan would go as follows: invade the teacher's lounge through the ethereal plane and hide inside the fridge. It wouldn't be a problem for me since I'm intangible and can pass through stuff, plus the other professors wouldn't see me even if they opened the fridge. Inside, I wait as long as needed, until the Rogue/Ghost Teacher gets hungry. They finally open the fridge to grab their snack, only to find me looking at them from inside the fridge like a lunatic. Mission complete: got found by the rogue teacher and aced junior year!

It's so mundane and stupid and that makes me more convinced that's exactly what happened. It's too funny to not be true.

[thisisnotthenerd]

with misfits & magic season ii coming out on 9/25, it's time for a spreadsheet update!

links to the relevant sheets:

thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats: the og spreadsheet. where this all started.

d20 episode randomizer: watch orders! go here to see all of the episodes listed in various ways, and to pick a random episode!

d20 seating chart stats: the table and how it plays out every season. check the compiled chart for basics on each character

anyways, on to the stats!

general stats:

total episode count: 251, spread over 22 seasons.

there have been 8 main cast / intrepid heroes seasons, that make up 147 of the 251 episodes, or 58.5% of the total count. if we include oneshots in this count, the count goes up to 151 of 251, for 60.1%.

total runtime: 541:54:53. that's 3 weeks, 1 day, 13 hours, 54 minutes and 53 seconds of dimension 20.

average runtime: 2:09:32. the median is 2:08:32, which i thought was funny. the episode that's closest to the average, with 2:09:33, is 'the house always wins' from a starstruck odyssey.

some more recent updates: never stop blowing up has the third-shortest average (1:49:18), following fantasy high (1:39:43) and coffin run (1:43:16).

nsbu is the shortest of the 10-episode seasons, with a total runtime of 18:12:59. compare that to the longest 10-episode season, the seven, with a runtime of 23:55:12.

for mismag, this is our first sidequest sequel season. aabria is the first guest dm to get a sequel season of her own (matt is a little diff by virtue of brennan running acoc). it's the first KOB sequel season as well--that speaks well for d20 expanding their game systems.

mechanically, they're now using a version of nsbu called never stop making magic, so i'll be tracking stat explosions this season as well. i do think d20 is leaning towards expanding the systems they use, so we'll see how they continue to expand going forward.

it's also the first odd-numbered sidequest season, with 11 episodes. by december 5, we'll have had 16 episodes in the world of mismag, which is just under a main cast season.

player stats:

aabria's back in the dome for her 7th season, and 4th as the game master! with an 11 ep season she's up to 59 episodes, and remains the most common guest on d20. at this point she's the second in-house dm. she has the Q4 10-ep season on lock. the first sidequest sequel season is hers.

brennan is up to 21 seasons and 257 episodes (including time quangle and mismag ii). he now has 2 seasons on the right, evening his split out a little bit (3:2)

lou has dethroned ally and taken the top player spot, with 12 season and 187 episodes. he has a new fave seat, with 4 seasons in L1 as well as R3.

erika isn't far behind aabria, with 47 episodes and 6 seasons. they're split between L3 and R2 (2 each)

danielle's joining the ranks of what i consider the recurring guest cast, with 3 seasons and 22 episodes under her belt. she's behind rekha and izzy (tied with 36), erika, and aabria.

production notes:

in terms of production, the release of the time quangle episodes puts us at 45-46 episodes for 2024, depending on when the december releases start. this also sets us at a total of 268 episodes by the end of 2024.

if we include all of the adventuring parties, adventuring academies and various other d20 auxiliary content, 2024 might take the cake for the most total episodes, dethroning 2021.

i'm guessing that this was the first season filmed after brennan's parental leave, so they're probably still 6 months to a year ahead of the releases

production calendar is looking like main cast season in Q1-Q2, varying number of sidequests/oneshots through Q2 and Q3, with aabria/another guest dm in Q3-Q4. depending on when aabria's season starts, they may start the intrepid heroes' season in Q4 going into the following year. general disclaimer that this is just a guess.

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Luck

Plot: Joel, Y/n, Tess and Ellie encounter Clickers, and sacrifices are made.

Warnings: tlou ep.2 spoilers, language, violence, gore, blood, guns, death, (16+)

Word Count: 4.4k (what else for chapter 4? lol)

A/N: So the only reason I was able to get this out so fast is because chapter three and this was supposed to be one big chapter. It ended up being too long, so it got split. Please don’t make this your expectation 😂

I love reading all your comments, even if I’m horrible at responding to them. I’ve never had this kind of response to my writing and it’s a lot to keep up with. I, once again, have to reiterate that this is a 16+ series and if your name is not listed on your page, I will not be tagging you. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀 I hope you enjoy this chapter! There’s no flashback, but a lot of hints about things to come later…I’m a terrible tease 😂🤫 Enjoy!!

———————

The museum doors were covered in fungus.

“This feels like a great plan,” Y/n sarcastically stated.

Joel ignored her disapproval, going ahead and kneeling down at one of the fungal sites. He ran a hand over it before breaking through it with the butt of his rifle.

“It’s bone dry,” he reported, “It could mean they’re all finally dead in there.”

Could was the key word of the sentence. ‘Coulds’ were like ‘probablies,’ hope with barely a breath left in it. The adults all started going through their packs, puling out their flashlights.

“Oh, man…” Ellie muttered.

Joel whipped out his light and looked exepctantly to Ellie, “Marlene pack you one of these, or just sandwiches?”

“Yeah,” Ellie answered, searching through her pack.

Y/n nudged the kid’s arm, drawing her focus. “You stay behind one of us at all times,” she instructed, “Slow and steady. Do not wander. Got it?”

Ellie nodded, “Got it.” When Tess crossed her hands, a gun and a flashlight in each, Ellie took notice. “I have a spare hand.”

“Congratulations,” Joel noted sarcastically.

With her pistol drawn, Y/n watched Joel move forward. It bothered her that he had been leading them the whole way. Their talk on the highway proved he thought he was capable of more than her. He assumed that just because he’d known her when she could afford to be delicate, she couldn’t have possibly grown into a fighter. Setting caution aside, she marched forward to walk parallel to him.

“Get back,” he ordered.

“Get bent,” she grunted.

The four of them moved as silently as they could through the museum’s lobby, posters and signs proving it had once been a landmark. Y/n moved alongside Joel, at one point taking a step ahead of him and finding a corner full of dry Cordyceps.

“We’re good,” she announced.

“Oh, finally,” Tess remarked, “Some fuckin’ luck.”

“I guess we should’ve gone this way in the first place,” Joel acknowledged.

“Oh, shit!” Ellie exclaimed, the three of them ran to join her. She’d broken Y/n’s third instruction like it was nothing.

There lay a body, covered in fresh blood and claw marks through its clothing.

“What the fuck did that?” Ellie inquired.

Y/n, Tess and Joel shared a knowing look.

“Maybe,” Tess’ voice shook as it lowered, “Maybe he was attacked outside and crawled through the doors. The door was open. Could’ve been him. I don’t hear anything.”

“Who would you hear?” Ellie asked.

The adults shushed her, Joel held up a hand.

Ellie lowered her voice, “Who would you hear? Are you saying an Infected did that?”

“Shh,” Tess crooned.

“Because I’ve been attacked by one and it wasn’t like that,” Ellie added.

Joel took a breath, it was all he could allow himself. “Okay, from this point forward, we are silent,” he whispered, “Not quiet…silent.”

“What-“ Ellie began.

“No, no questions,” Joel stopped her, “Just do it.”

Having very little trust in the man who had openly admitted to wanting to kill her, Ellie peered at Y/n, who nodded in solemn agreement. Things had suddenly become very, very real.

The four of them made their way to the museum’s staircase, taking slow steps up the creaking steps. Joel and Y/n made it to the top first, only having to stop when a piece of debris fell in a cloud of dust. They shined their flashlights across the way, a massive piling of death and fungus-covered bodies laying tragically still.

Crunch.

The exes spun around to see Ellie baring her teeth nervously, a skeletal hand below her sneaker. Everyone held their breath. There was creaking coming from above them, every step they took was a step closer to being buried alive.

Joel and Y/n made it into the Independance Hall exhibit, taking stock of their surroundings and coming up clean. Ellie followed with Tess close behind her.

Suddenly, there was a crashing sound; the building was finally giving out. Lightining fast, Y/n surged forward and grabbed Ellie’s arm, pulling her forward as Tess nose dove to the floor. Y/n let go of Ellie to extend a hand to Tess, who braced herself with it and got to her feet. They barely had a second to gather their thoughts before a loud, animal noise echoed through the room.

Then came the clicking.

Y/n and Joel drew their guns together, aiming in the direction the sound had come from. They slowly backed up, Tess and Ellie moving behind them, as the noises drew closer.

Fear can stop a clock, and none of them could tell how long they waited until the snarling, shriveled monster stepped into the room.

Y/n and Joel’s grudge ceased to exist as they moved in sync, silent as the grave they prayed they weren’t about to meet. As their group passed a doorway, more clicking sounded through it. They startled, backing up as the erratic footsteps came closer.

Two. There were two Clickers.

The foursome sought shelter behind a glass display case as the Infected began to roam the room. Each of them were processing the situation spearately, but they needed to move together as one.

Joel saw the fear in Ellie’s eyes, he couldn’t take it from her, but he could prepare her. “They can’t see,” he mouthed, leaning over Y/n, “But they can hear.”

On the other side of the display case, one of the Clickers walked past, shrieking as it jerked around. It had been over a year since Y/n had been this close to one of them, she’d forgotten what it was like. The way experience melted away and fear overtook all your senses.

Joel held up a finger to the three of them. If the Clickers could pass through without noticing them, they could make a straight shot up to the passageway and be gone. Everything rested on how the next thirty seconds went.

Y/n was too afriad to shut her eyes and too scared to face the creature head on. She simply stared ahead, trembling with each sound the monster made.

They listened as it turned the corner of the display case, until it was mere inches from them.

Ellie gasped.

Y/n grimaced.

The creature spun around to them and screamed.

Joel unloaded his rifle on the creature, who reached out and dragged him forward.

“Run,” Joel screamed.

Tess took off with Ellie, shooting at the other Infected before escaping the room. Y/n stayed, firing shots at the creature as it fought Joel. It knocked the rifle out of his hands, leaving him with only his pistol. Y/n was able to wound it enough to momentarily stun it, giving Joel and her time to run away.

They sprinted down the hall, Joel turned around and fired a shot before they dove into the next room. He knocked over a podium, creating an obstacle in the Clicker’s path, buying him and Y/n a few extra seconds. Joel grabbed her wrist and threw them behind a shelving unit.

Now fear, it turns out, is a powerful thing. It can cause people to turn on one another, or it can bring them together. Y/n had spent the last twenty four hours listing all the ways she wanted to kill Joel Miller, but face to face with the reality of losing him, she was doing everything she could to save him. They both were.

Joel’s hands shook as he reloaded his gun, his flashlight tucked between his shoulder and his chin. Y/n stretched her arm out over his chest, her breath trembling in time with his as they waited…

The Clicker was right next to them.

Joel shone his flashlight around the corner, the Infected was a mere ten inches from them. Mercifully, it hadn’t sensed them, and headed around the other side of the shelving unit. Y/n peered through the dusty screens, charted a clear path, and motioned for Joel to come forward. They crouched as they walked, Y/n spotted Ellie hunched against another display case.

Joel and her quickly crossed the space and got down alongside her. Joel looked to his side, signaling for Ellie to follow them around the case. They crawled in the opposite direction, the Clicker only a few feet away from them and but a second from discovering them. It just needed to take a few more steps and then it would be in the other room….

A piece of glass crunched under Joel’s boot.

The three of them stopped.

The Clicker screeched and leapt across the case, tackling them to the floor. Ellie thrashed and yelled as it pinned her down. Joel and Y/n each kept an arm against its chest, pushing it away with their combined strength. Y/n freed her arm from between her and Ellie’s bodies, pressing her gun against the Clicker’s abdomen and shooting it three times. It stunned the monster, giving Joel time to shove it off of them. Y/n shielded Ellie, who was gripping her jacket, and Joel shielded Y/n. Joel aimed his pointed at the Clicker once again, and gunned it down as it ran towards them. He fired a few final shots, just to ensure it was dead.

The second Clicker charged towards them, Joel and Y/n shoved Ellie behind them, no time to draft an attack plan. Saving the day, Tess came from the side and lodged an axe in the Clicker’s head. Thinking quick, Joel left Y/n and Ellie to retake his rifle, firing one shot before a second that did the creature in.

Joel surveyed the Clicker, examining the bloody chunks of fungus laying around its head. Fear was enough to create doubt, even in front of fact.

“You all right?” Joel asked Tess, who was getting to her feet.

“Twisted ankle, but…yeah,” Tess answered.

Y/n turned to Ellie, “Are you okay?”

“Well, I didn’t shit my pants, so…” she responded, glancing around her in case they’d missed one. She stopped and rolled up her sleeve, revealing a bloody mark, “You fucking kidding me?”

Y/n didn’t know whether or not to be scared. Joel knew exactly what to feel.

“I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us,” Ellie muttered.

Joel didn’t let his anxiety come over him often, but he could feel it building. Tess was tuned into him enough to see it happening.

“Hey,” she coaxed, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”

The four of them filed out the top window, Y/n offering Tess her hand to help her onto the roof. Joel went to work immediately, pulling out a first aid kit and a piece of cloth.

“Put this around your arm,” Joel instructed Ellie, handing her the cloth. In the chaos, he hadn’t even thought to ask Y/n if she was injured. “You-“

“I’m fine,” Y/n said coldly, eager to settle back into blind hatred.

Ellie made her way to the makeshift bridge, a few wooden planks, and took the first step. “Over there?”

“Yeah, I know,” Joel spoke as he examined Tess’ ankle, “It looks scary.”

“That was scary,” Ellie replied, “This is wood.”

Y/n followed Ellie, her legs steadying more with each step across the divide. In the world they lived in, fear had to pass as quick as a summer storm.

“Are they always like that?” Ellie asked once they were both on the rooftop.

Y/n sighed, “Not at first. I mean, they’re always scary but at the beginning, they look…” she paused, forcing the memories out like a tide in the ocean, “They look normal.”

Ellie hummed, wandering off to the edge of the building. As Joel crossed the plank, Y/n went to stand beside Ellie. The sun was shining gold down on the remnants of Boston, illuminating the good and the bad.

This. This was what still gave Y/n hope. She needed to believe that maybe, maybe, there was a way to restore the world back to its beauty. That was the key difference between her and Joel; she still wanted to find what little good was left out there.

Joel came to stand on Ellie’s other side, peering over at the girl. “Is it everything you hoped for?”

“Jury’s still out,” Ellie gave a half-shrug, “But man, you can’t deny that view.”

Tess rejoined them, walking with new purpose. “C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark,” she grunted, climbing over the edge and scaling down some siding.

Joel and Y/n stood at the edge of the roof, each staring out into the horizon lost in their thoughts. Their severed connection lived in the space between them, sparking and straining as it tried to pull them together.

But they’d had twenty years of ignoring one another’s memory. It was going to take more than a fight and a sunset to come to any kind of truce.

Y/n silently climbed down the side of the building, leaving Joel on his own. He glanced down at his watch, taking a valued second to himself, before heading down after the rest of them.

—————————

The rest of the way to the State House was spent in quiet suspicion. Everyone watched Ellie with more interest than before, waiting for something to happen.

When they arrived, Y/n spotted the truck that was supposed to transport Ellie and her. There was supposed to be someone outside waiting to meet them and yet, the place looked as deserted as the rest of the city.

Joel glanced at Y/n, silently asking if this was right. She answered with a distant shake of her head as she looked around them. She drew her gun and got up, stepping strategically through the grass. Joel huffed in exasperation, coming out in the open to follow her.

Y/n approached the truck cautiously, her breath already trembling like she’d already seen what lay inside. She ignored Joel practically breathing down her neck as she swung open the vehicle’s door. Empty.

Joel held up a hand to Tess, who stood with her gun aimed and Ellie protected behind her. “Stay back,” he mouthed. When he turned back to Y/n, he found air.

Y/n rounded the vehicle, examining the other side before her eyes and nose were drawn to the ground. There was a bloodied body laying underneath the truck. She knelt before it, whatever had happened to it hadn’t been more than an hour or two ago. The blood was still new, but the flies had already found the poor soul.

Joel was at the rear of the truck, bracing himself for whatever fight lay inside it. He threw the back door open and took a stance, finding the same nothing they had in the cab.

“Joel?” Tess called, coming to join them, “What the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Joel said, looking around the corner of the truck to Y/n, “What was the plan?”

Y/n sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “Driver was supposed to be waiting here, one or two Fireflies just to verify it was us…we were supposed to jump in the truck and go.”

“They went inside,” Ellie announced, staring at the steps leading to the State House. The three adults peered over to see the bloody footprints painted on the staircase.

“Come on,” Tess grunted, grabbing Ellie’s hand and letting the blood tracks show them the way.

“Tess,” Joel called, Y/n wasn’t waiting for him to call the shots. She jogged up the stairs with the same urgency as his partner. “Tess!”

Tess burst through the doors, holding both Ellie and her pistol in front of her. Y/n flanked Ellie, ready to attack whatever could been lurking in the building. Joel followed the women, exhausted by their recklessness.

What they found was worse than they could have imagined.

Every Firefly body was on the floor, their blood spread across the slick marble.

Y/n could feel her chest cave in on itself. Her comrades, the plan to take Ellie west, hope itself, it all dead lay around her.

Tess showed the same panic Y/n was trying so hard to contain. “Okay, I mean there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or something, right?”

“Start looking,” Y/n holstered her gun, running to check the crates, the equipment…anything that could offer them a morsel of chance. If she could get in contact with Marlene, they could form a new plan. She’d take Ellie herself, if necessary, doubts be damned. They couldn’t admit defeat so easily.

“Tess,” Joel called, having already deduced that one Firefly had got infected and it had spread to the others, “What’re you doin’?”

Y/n threw open crates, scouring the contents for a radio, with Tess searching beside her. They both ignored Joel.

“Where did Marlene say you two were going?” Tess asked Y/n.

“Tess-“ Joel tried again.

“Just west,” Y/n answered, her breath quickening, “We were supposed to get the exact location here.”

Tess threw her hands out in exasperation, “Just west. Fuck. Okay…well, one of ‘em’s gotta have a map on them, right?”

Y/n was already examining the bodies without touching them, “Check each one.”

“Joel, can you help us?” Tess impatiently asked, kneeling next to Y/n and searching through the victim’s pockets.

“No,” Joel bellowed, refusing to indulge the fantasy any longer, “Tess, it’s over. We are goin’ home.”

Tess spun around, shooting daggers out her eyes, “That’s not my fucking home!”

Her cry was loud enough to silence the rest of them. Tess hung over one of the bodies, fighting back her tears enough to stand up and face Joel.

“I’m stayin’.”

Y/n stayed on the ground, confusedly watching the scene play out.

“I mean…” Tess almost laughed, “Our luck had to run out sooner or later.”

Joel stood perplexed. Perhaps he’d have figured it out if he had looked in between her words. In her eyes. In her quivering lips.

“Fuck,” Ellie exclaimed, her voice lowering to a whisper, “She’s infected.”

Joel felt the very ground they stood on crack down the middle, a divide separating him and the only person he’d allowed himself to care about in twenty years. The unspeakable plague had finally come for one of them, and it had attached itself to the wrong person.

“Show me,” he muttered.

“Joel,” Tess said softly, taking a step forward. Joel flinched, jumping back an inch away from her. He regretted it immediately, it was pure instinct.

Tess pulled back her jacket and shirt to display the reddening bite mark.

Y/n got to her feet upon seeing the wound, unafraid to close the distance Joel was putting between them. Joel threw out a hand to pull her back, but Y/n smacked it away and placed her fingers around Tess’ wound. In another life, it could have been extremely well done Halloween makeup. She wanted it to be.

“Oops,” Tess tried to smile, “Right?”

Y/n rubbed her fingers against Tess’ shoulder, if these were her last minutes, she wanted her to feel human touch one more time.

“Take your bandage off,” Tess ordered Ellie.

The girl unwrapped the cloth from her arm, showing the adults her newest bite mark. It was already healing.

Tess surged forward and took Ellie’s arm, holding it up to Joel. “Look. Joel? This is real,” she pulled Ellie forward, “Joel, she’s fucking real.”

Joel and Y/n spotted it at the same time: Tess’ hands were beginning to shake.

Tess retracted her arm into her person, her breaths quickening with passion. Passion for a future she would never see.

“I need you to get her to Bill and Frank’s,” Tess stated.

“No,” Joel started to argue, a flurry of emotions hitting him at once. It was real. This was real.

“They’ll take her off your hands,” Tess continued, unstoppable in her pleas, “They’ll handle it from here.”

“No, no, no,” he shook his head, sounding like a child in denial, “I can’t. They won’t take her. They’re not gonna take her.”

“They will,” Tess insisted, “Cause you’re gonna convince them.”

“I’ll take her,” Y/n said from behind Joel, “Tell me where they are and I’ll get her there.”

Tess squeezed her eyes shut, “No, it has to be him,” she looked to Joel, “I never ask you for anything. Not to feel the way I felt, not to-“

“No,” Joel said, a kneejerk reaction. He had spent so long caring for her as much as his grief would allow him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Tess snapped, “Cause I don’t have much time. This is your chance. You get her there, you keep her alive…” she bit back her tears, “And you set everything right. All the shit we did…please say yes, Joel, please.”

Joel could feel what was left of his heart beginning to break. He couldn’t lose anyone else.

A strained gasp from one of the Infected Fireflies echoed behind Ellie, “Oh, fuck!”

With all the tranquility of a piano melody, Joel stepped forward, cocked his pistol and blew a chunk of the one-time human’s brains out.

The strands of fungus began to stretch out around the Infected’s hand. The signal had been sent. Within minutes, hordes of Infected would descend upon the State House.

Joel exhaled, realizing what he’d done and ran to the building’s door. He could hear the distant snarling and choking of the Infected. Whatever pitiful amount of time they’d possessed had just gotten slashed in half.

“How many?” Tess asked calmly.

“All of them,” he reported, “Maybe a minute.”

Y/n took a shaky breath and raised her gun to Tess’ head. Joel was quick to aim his rifle at her head.

“Don’t you fuckin-“

“Do you want me to do it?” Y/n ignored Joel, locking eyes with Tess. It wasn’t an act of anger, it was an act of mercy. She was trying to save what was left of Tess’ life.

Tess shook her head, taking stock of her surroundings and rushing around the room. She tipped over barrels of gasoline and crates of grenades, letting them spill across the floor. Twenty years of sin and her last act was to save. This was Tess Servoupolis. Not her reputation, not who she’d been forced to become to survive…her.

Joel watched, heartbreak etched in each line of his face. He wanted to scream, to cry, to punch, but time had numbed his emotions enough to be able to keep it all inside.

Tess finally came to face Joel, keeping a foot of space between them. She couldn’t handle watching the man she loved move away from her like she was…what she was.

Y/n backed up to stand with Ellie, feeling like they were intruding on an intimate moment.

“Joel…” Tess said his name one last time, knowing just how much weight the words she was about to say carried, “Save who you can save.”

He was holding so much back, so many things he wanted to say, even just to touch her one last time. His grief overwhelmed him, for both women he wasn’t able to save. But if he couldn’t heed Tess’ final wish, he’d never be able to look himself in the mirror again.

Joel took one last look at her, the two of them committing each other’s gaze to memory, and Joel turned on his heel, grabbing Ellie and dragging her away.

“No!” Ellie yelled, hitting Joel’s arm to try and break his grip, “We’re not leaving her! Get off me, you fucker!”

Y/n, let them pass, standing firmly planted in front of Tess. She wanted to say something, but nothing rivaled the weight of the moment. She wanted to thank her for her sacrifice, tell her how sorry she was that she was about to what was to come…something to let her feel some sort of compassion before she lost herself entirely.

“I-“

“Protect her,” Tess urged, staring straight past the Joel and Y/n’s resentment and into her soul, “Protect him.”

Y/n’s breath shook as she considered what Tess was asking of her. She wanted to know the man she loved would live to see the days she wouldn’t. Y/n couldn’t fault her that, it was so easy to care about Joel. If Tess was a better woman than Y/n and had earned that devotion he showered upon a select number of people, she would feel the same devotion to him till death.

Y/n wanted to run in the opposite direction, but she wasn’t so heartless that she wouldn’t obey Tess’ last request. She nodded, pouring out her condolences through her pained stare, and took off the same way that Joel and Ellie had.

Leaving Tess to die.

She found them outside, Ellie still fighting Joel tooth and nail. Y/n pressed her hands to Ellie’s back and urged her forward, running alongside them in a desparate effort to escape the tidal wave of Infected encroaching.

They’d put a safe amount of distance between them and the State House when the building exploded.

Joel wrenched Ellie forward to shield her, letting him and Y/n take the heat of the blast. They drew their guns, waiting for a stray Infected to pass through the violent flames, but none came. Tess had succeeded.

The three of them stayed perfectly still, except for their heaving chests, watching the fire consume the State House. Twenty years ago, Joel would have allowed himself to break down. He would have let his knees hit the dirt, his fists ball and his grief would have spilled out of him as if he was made of it.

Twenty years ago, he could feel whatever he wanted. But to survive, you had to bury your desires with the dead. Joel knew that better than anyone.

And so, skipping the eulogy and going straight for repression, Joel lowered his rifle and walked away.

Y/n, who wasn’t as hardened as her ex-love, could no longer keep her tears at bay. She crouched down in the dirt, pressing her hands to her lips in a praying position, and allowed a silent rain stream down her cheeks. Losing anyone was awful, but losing someone who wanted redemption, who wanted to atone for their sins and leave the world better than they’d found it…that was tragic. Tess had sacrificed herself to save them, to save Ellie, to save a future she could only hope came to pass. Perhaps Joel couldn’t mourn her, Y/n knew his grief was the match that lit his whole being ablaze, but she could. She would.

Ellie stood beside her, tears filling her once-innocent eyes. Her naivety had always been on life support, but it was fading with every minute she spent outside the Wall.

Deciding her momentary memorial would have to serve as enough for Tess, Y/n got to her feet and wiped her eyes. “Come on,” she whispered, her voice strained as she put a hand to Ellie’s back. She led them down the dirt, following Joel’s ghostly silhouette…

————————

TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest

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[byemambo]

4Minutes EP. 1 - My Takeaways

So after finagling with my VPN options, I managed to watch 4Minutes episode 1 shortly after episode 4 of This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans released. Given that I haven't read a singular novel/source material for any of the series I end up consuming: my analyses are not anything more than just pastime fun and pondering thoughts.

Title Sequence

When I first saw the title sequence along with the score: I immediately thought of WestWorld (which I haven't seen the show myself because I'm not great with intense themes surrounding it but my professor showed us the title sequence and I immediately fell in love with it). The score is dynamic and although the title sequence itself doesn't give too much away besides showcasing the two main characters in fragments, it sets the tone for how I'll be viewing the series moving forward: intense, dark tones, small pockets of joyous moments within the storyline (but won't be the main focus of the story itself), and following the lives of morally gray characters.

Camera Angles (Bird's Eye View)

For starters, I noticed a repetition in using a bird's eye view angle to introduce us to new environments and exposition. Whether it be Tyme's introduction after suffering out a possible fatal injury, Great's apartment away from home (which his family members allude to his absence majority of the time in visiting the home), Korn being transported to the "department" that earns the family company most of their revenue, to Tonkla's place of stay (is it Korn's place as well, who knows at this point in the story). However, the scene that stood out the most to me is the right image in the third row of Great descending from his apartment level down a spiral staircase rather than taking the elevator as usual, which hinted at Great's spiral of wrapping his mind around his experiences with sporadic short term time travel and why time is warping the way it is. What I find interesting and continue to ponder during this point of the exposition: why is Great experiencing these symptoms and when? Did he start experiencing them out of the blue, or did he suffer some sort of freak accident or injury prior to the hit (and almost potential run)? Even during the family dinner scene, Great's father even emphasized him having to clean up after his son's "messes," so him experiencing the consequences of past accidents is possible.

I also appreciate the usage of the bird's eye view to emphasize the size of the characters within the space/environment they occupy. That in some instances, they're a small part of the entire whole within the context that they reside in. Tyme running away from the killer who injured him and left him for dead, Great occupying his apartment alone, his only companion that is briefly introduced to the story is Title (which rip for him not getting that calculator for the exam), Great also occupying the elevator to reach the bottom level of his apartment building (which makes me wonder if there's a correlation between the physical levels he occupies and the levels of consciousness he has awareness of, maybe even having its own spin on Inception's take on dream levels now that I referred back to the series's trailer). Korn taking a boat ride to the company's place of organized crime/gambling that seems isolated from the rest of the world where the story takes place, Tonkla's lack of fulfillment and feelings of loneliness after Korn leaves the apartment to attend family dinner (which a lot of us are speculating a cheating or romantic betrayal story arc). The director and cinematographer does an amazing job with utilizing the space through framing and placing each character within the composition, which is intentional and pushes a continuation of how a certain environment shapes the interactions between characters within the environment.

The Number 4 and Time

We know how significant the number 4 will be throughout the entire series, but my question right now is how the gift (since I don't think it's a power that the holder can control willingly) works and its parameters. From the first time leap: Great's car clock read 12:39 just before entering the tunnel and meeting his doom. However, after hitting the woman and attempting a hit and run, it had been four minutes since the incident occurred, latching onto Great and forcing him back four minutes to redefine his fate and making different decisions.

This also happens when Great pays the woman a visit at the hospital the next day: spending four minutes between speaking with the nurse at the desk and attempting to leave the premise after running into Tyme and desiring no confrontation. Once his phone clock reads 13:14, we are transported four minutes back to speaking with the nurse again, this time Great peeking at Tyme's visitation with the patient in room 1 and still running into Tyme regardless. Rather than walking away, Great helps Tyme with his papers, which makes me wonder just how much of these occurrences are solely coincidental and which are repeating itself for Great to revert down a predestined path for the appropriate events to happen in sequence. If Great hadn't left the woman to die out from her injuries or slow down the time taken to aid her injuries, he would not cross paths with Tyme. Even after visiting the woman and attempting to leave the hospital without saying anything to Tyme, time leaps backwards and establishes a second chance for the first meeting to occur. I wonder until the next episode is released: is Great only acting out based on what he's been taught and has known for majority of his life and being met with another chance to act according to his own volition? Is this a matter of nature vs nurture? Is he going to realize that he's being given chances to make different decisions that he will be better off living with than if he were to act based on what he's always known despite not 100% aligning with them?

Family Dinner (Introduction to the Dynamics)

Great doesn't strike me to be someone who thinks like an inherent nepo baby (at least that's what I got from Korn's character introduction as well). Between the two brothers, Korn appeases his father's wishes that involve the state of the family company's successes and endeavors, whereas Great despises them, seemingly living a more "detached" life (while still having access to things like his luxury car) of going to university and focusing on graduating. Again, with the director's intentionality when framing the characters within the environment, we get another rendition of rich family, empty homelife that we all know and love. Even Great establishing the disconnect even further by physically sitting in opposition to his father by being on the opposite end of the dining table, he not only refuses to become one with the family by bowing down to the head of the household, he desires to be viewed as an equal to his own father and cause a rift between the family members.

Despite being unified by sharing the same color grading, we can see how Tyme's home environment is much more inviting, much more lively, much more loved. We can see this through not only his relationship with his grandmother, we can see this through how the home is decorated and cared for, and see how Tyme's priority in life is to become a surgeon and take care of his grandmother by repaying for all she has done for him for what seems like majority of his life. I'm curious to see how the relationship between Great and Tyme play out after being introduced to their temperaments: both having their own expressions of stubbornness, Great being more outward and Tyme being more subdued. However, both characters have shown their sillier sides that's dependent on the closeness of their relationship around those individuals, so I wonder how long it'll take before both characters take down their walls around one another.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

I absolutely adore Den already. I feel the stark contrast between Pol in KinnPorsche and Den in 4 Minutes, which makes me so excited to see what Job will bring to the story as a more relevant supporting character that we couldn't get enough of in KinnPorsche. His smile is gorgeous and just from the kabedon alone in the image below already lets me know that his character is about to be a hoot, and I'm ready for it. The look on Tyme's face is sending me, which makes me wonder where Tyme stands in terms of romantic experience as he's a focused medical professional with a clear goal that may stray him away from other priorities in life like his social needs.

But how much I adore Tyme's relationship with his grandmother. Nothing is more wholesome to me than a family man, but specifically for their elders. The contrast between Tyme's relationship with his family versus Great's will be an interesting juxtaposition for both characters to teach and learn from one another's upbringing that carried into their adult lives. We still don't know their backstories so early on in the series, but I can only speculate that Korn's mother is either deceased or no contact with the remaining family, which may put a strain on how Great and his mother fit within the family's dynamic, since wealth and status seem to be key players influencing the direction of the story. One main character having inherent access to wealth and status that can save him from all sorts of struggle and difficulty, whereas the other main character coming from a humble upbringing that places a lot of strain on his desire to earn a living well off enough to take care of him and his family. We will definitely see how these core values will create friction or shape the characters' outlook on life and the world in which they occupy.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Bridgerton Season 3 ep 1-4 Thoughts.

Just binged watched bridergerton season 3 part 1 for the second time and figured I'd share some thoughts. I haven't read the books so I am going into this season blind and so far the first 4 eps have not disappointed. Oh and spoilers obviously.

I love that this season started the exact same way as the other two, with the bridgerton family getting ready for one of the girls presentation to society. This time it's francesca. I also love that this is the third time they've done this but they are still a chaotic mess.

I love penelope's new look, every one of her dresses were stunning and I think the greens and blues were really good colours for her.

The new dynamic between eloise and penelope is interesting. There is clearly still a lot of hurt there, but eloise also still cares about penelope and doesn't like to see her hurt. Honestly most of their scenes made me feel really sad for them both, they clearly miss the friendship they had and each other but don't know how to repair things between them.

Seeing a different side to Cressida through her new friendship with eloise is interesting. There were moments where I sympathised with her, but also, she hasn't completely reformed and there were still moments when her meaner side came out. But it was still interesting to see where her behaviour comes from.

That being said I am glad that cressida called eloise out after it came out that Colin was helping penelope find a husband and eloise blamed her. Basically telling her to look in the mirror. As much as I do love eloise I also think she can act recklessly and speak without thinking and that has gotten her and others in trouble over the seasons.

It was also good to see more of and get to know francesca as a character. I really liked the conversation she had with penelope about how when you get stuck on the wall it's hard to get off it again. I think both penelope and francesca have trouble talking with others. They also are both desperate to marry so that they can leave the family home. For francesca it's because she struggles with the noise and bustle of a large household when she prefers solitude and quiet. For penelope it's to get away from her overbearing mother and sisters.

Penelope's attempts to flirt made for some comical moments but was also really relatable. That awkward fumbling over her words and just generally looking uncomfortable was spot on.

Speaking of comical moments, that whole plot of lady featherington trying to get her girls to produce an heir was hilarious. But also kind of shows how the ladies' mamas really need to start having proper conversations about the birds and bees before their daughters become wives if they want heirs.

Some really great moments throughout the season were the scenes that reminded us of how penelope and Colin were friends for years, those little moments when they are laughing and joking together. I also love that we learned how they met, their meet cute really was cute.

I really loved polin's first kiss. I think penelope's reasoning for wanting Colin to kiss her was relatable, she was in her third year on the marriage mart with no prospects and feels like she will never marry and never know what it's like to be kissed. So she asks her friend so that she can at least know what it feels like. Colin might be someone she has crushed on and been in love with for years but him also being her friend means she trusts him and feels safe with him. What I also love about this kiss is that they could have left it at that first chaste meeting of their lips. But their eyes lock and then they go back in for a more passionate kiss as the music soars and it goes from a friend giving another friend a kiss to help them out to a real, earth moving, world shattering kiss that leaves them both reeling and breathless.

Another thing I really enjoyed is that it is Colin who after that kiss is the one having dreams and fantasies about penelope and has jealous feelings. We've seen how penelope has longed for and been in love with Colin over the last two seasons so it was a nice change to see Colin showing those feelings and trying to come to terms with his feelings.

Lord debling is nice enough and seems like a decent guy but I agree with Colin, I don't think he is right for penelope. I don't think penelope would be happy being left alone for years at a time. I do think she wants the companionship of a husband and I think it is telling that her happy, safe place was the bridgerton drawing room, being amongst the bridgerton bustle. Cressida could be a good match for debling potentially. He can travel and be happy exploring nature and I think cressida from her comments in ep 1 about loving London would be happy staying in society and entertaining. It could be an arrangement they are both content in.

The marquess that the Queen introduces to francesca is another gentleman who I think is OK, seems nice enough but again I don't think he is right for francesca, he wants a big family with lots of noise and that is not what she wants.

However I adore the relationship between francesca and John sterling. I just love how they didn't need any long flowery conversation in order to feel a connection to each other. In fact it was their mutual love of peace and quiet that bonded them. He is someone she could enjoy quiet evenings with, someone whose company she could enjoy but without the pressure of forced socialisation and conversation. I can see them spending their evenings in a drawing room with her playing the piano and him enjoying her music. Simple but contented. Out of the two, him and the marquess, I hope she chooses Sterling.

With that being said I am starting to feel sorry for the queen. Each season she tries to set a bridgerton up with someone and every season they choose someone else least minute instead, daphne turned down the Prince for Simon, Anthony ended up not with Edwina but her sister instead and I suspect it's going to go the same way with francesca where she will be courted by the queen's pick but will ultimately choose John sterling. Honestly at this point Charlotte just give up, stay far from the bridgertons and enjoy the drama from a safe distance.

Let's talk about violet bridgerton. It seems she herself may have a romance this season in lady Danbury's brother, spoilers for queen Charlotte, but I do find it kind of funny that Danbury had an affair with violet's father and now violet might be getting with Danbury's brother.

Keeping on the subject of violet I love how well she knows her children. She always sees right through them. She could tell right away that francesca was smitten with Stirling even if she is a little confused about how they don't really talk much to each other. Also one conversation and she figured out that Colin has fallen in love with penelope. I also love that moment when Colin says he isn't coming to the ball and violet not so subtly tells him that penelope may be getting engaged that evening and what a shame it would be for him to miss it. She knew exactly what to say to get him to that ball and confessing his feelings to penelope before it's too late. Love you violet you are a legend.

Lady featherington is an interesting character because I do believe she genuinely loves her girls and wants what's best for them. But her idea of what is best for them is too make sure they marry and they are financially secure. I also think she wraps her own fate up in her girls fortunes too she knows her own security relies on them having a male heir. Unfortunately despite her love for her daughters she often says things very hurtful to her girls in particular penelope, which doesn't make her a very likable character. That conversation between her and penelope in ep 4 right as penelope is leaving the ball after debling's rejection is an interesting moment. Lady featherington's first reaction is to blame penelope for debling leaving, penelope rightly calls her out asking if she only has value if she has a lord's engagement ring. What's interesting is that this statement clearly hit Lady featherington hard, you can see that she feels guilty, I think this is further punched home when prudence comes running up to her telling her she's pregnant and asking if she is excited. I think it's a moment where she realises how many expectations she has put on her daughters and how that has made them believe that her love for them is conditional on them meeting these expectations. I am interested to see if this realisation changed her behaviour towards her daughters going forward.

That carriage scene, ice someone get me ice. Honestly the chemistry between them was perfect, sizzling in fact. Also of course they ended it with Colin proposing. I am really excited to see where its going to go next especially as Colin still has to learn that penelope is whistledown. I feel like a whole lot of drama is coming our way.

[chuplayswithfire]

Izzy Arc Thoughts, the post!

Having now watched the three episodes three times over (some of them more than that shhhhh), I still have a BUNCH of thoughts about the rest of the crew I want to percolate on, but I had some thoughts on Izzy that I finally feel confident in, as to what's going on in with his character since the end of season 1, and especially the arc he has between Impossible Birds and The Innkeeper.

Being upfront: I wasn't sure what kind of arc the show would do with Izzy and we still obviously don't know the full scope of it, as we have five more episodes to go, but it's definitely been intriguing in a way I didn't anticipate. I figured Izzy would continue on with his antagonistic role, and he still might, but it seems like D Jenks is having fun letting Con have a role with more emotional nuance than in season one, and seeing as that role has an impact on everyone else, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I think is going on with him in the episodes that we've seen so far. I also wanted to start my in depth analysis with a character I don't care about nearly as much (being honest!) as I do the rest of the crew, but who also has a huge impact on two characters I do care very much about, Ed and Stede. I'm planning to analyze Ed and Stede in each episode before we get eps 4 and 5!

This is a long post! It features many quotes directly , transcribed by me and taken from the captions by Max. I used a read more because the whole thing is over 6k in length and analyzes the dynamic presented between Izzy and Ed and Izzy and Stede presented in episodes 1-3 of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death. If the read more doesn't work, that is not on me, sorry.

Alright, so recap: when we left Izzy, he had lashed out at Ed for the person he was choosing to become and the manner in which he was expressing himself and his feelings - the blanket fort, the binging sweets, the singing for the crew, the sharing his feelings and asking to be called Edward, the encouraging a talent show, and then, the cleaning up and comfortably wearing a colorful printed robe of nice, soft fabric. (Quotes: "I should have let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death." "(growled) No. This, this is Blackbeard. Not some (breath) namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend.”) When these insults get the aggressive reaction from Ed that Izzy associates with the version of Ed he prefers, he encourages him with a smile, hand cupping Ed's cheek, and choking out "There he is." Ed shoves his hand away, backing away with a closed off expression, and Izzy's smile dies and he closes the distance between them. He states what he wants from Ed, makes a threat, and walks away without waiting for a response. (Quote: "Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard. Not Edward. Edward better watch his fuckin' step.”)

The next time we see Izzy, Ed has donned his leathers, made his face up with dark make up to look more fierce, and is cutting off Izzy's pink toe and feeding it to him. We know from episode 9 that cutting off toes and feeding it to people was a classic Blackbeard move. For Izzy, this is several things: 1) confirmation that Blackbeard is back, the one who would never let a threat stand and does a good maim 2) a punishment for said threat (Quote: "Threaten me again, ever... I'll feed you the rest. Understand?" "Y-Yes, Blackbeard.") 3) a confirmation that he has his boss back, that whatever Stede has done to his boss' brain is over.

We get confirmation of that third point when Izzy speaks with the crew as they're getting rid of Stede's books and possessions - "Blackbeard is himself again," with a broad smile. Later, we see Izzy abandon the crew on a small island, presumably on Ed's direct orders, as he waves goodbye to Bonnet's playthings - them - as they depart. Izzy has a gun as he stands beside Ed, and they're watching as Frenchie finishes the new flag and hoists it.

That's where we left Izzy in Season 1: standing besides Ed as Blackbird returns to being Blackbeard for a brand new era of being Blackbeard, greatest pirate who ever lived, terror of the seas.

And when we return to the show, that's kind of what we get. Edward is being Blackbeard and Blackbeard is the terror of the seas, a Wanted Poster with so many crimes they're covering both sides of the poster (and yeah some of them are very silly, what midwifery was Ed up to, exactly-), and yet, Izzy is not happy when we see him.

What I think the show works to establish in episode 1 is that what Izzy wanted back was the man he saw as the old Blackbeard, who wasn't afflicted by these feelings of love or softness or "weakness", which he views as something that Stede Bonnet inflicted upon Edward. We know that, because it's how he phrased it to Chauncey - that "[Stede] had done something to [his] boss's brain". He seemed to view these feelings as something akin to an infection from Stede, that was corrupting the Blackbeard he knew and respected to something less than. Izzy wanted the old Blackbeard back and he thought that when Ed took his toe and fed it to him, said he'd killed Lucius, all that I recapped, that he'd gotten just that. A return to his preferred normal, where everything makes sense exactly as he thinks it should. Ed back to normal, it's Blackbeard time, getting rid of the dead weight and all that.

Except that's not what he's gotten at all, and I don't think Izzy had fully grasped why prior to episode 1. He has suspicions, of course, but it takes him a while to build to a confrontation about it.

Because see, Ed switched from healthier coping mechanisms like crying, eating sweets, creative outlets, and talking to people about his feelings to much more acceptably pirate means of coping with his feelings - violence in the form of raids and drugs (rhino horn, which thought people joke about it being an aphrodisiac, has a variety of believed medical uses in Vietnamese medicine, treating ailments including hangovers, fever, gout and potentially terminal illnesses, like cancer or stroke). Raids and drug use should be totally acceptable means of managing your feelings as a pirate, except that Ed is going too far with them, pushing the crew to the breaking point and beyond. They're raiding every day, they're not taking breaks, they're not having days off, they're chasing down ships as fast as they can take them down and now they're going to be throwing away loot. Izzy is realizing that actually he has not gotten the Blackbeard he wanted and things are not great. He's also lost at least two more toes.

He and Ed have an early exchange - Izzy looking sickly, skin sallow, what appears to be hair dye or make up trickling from his hairline, Ed prepping and snorting rhino horn like it's cocaine:

Izzy: "The crew are lookin' a tad worse for wear.” Ed: "Did everyone get cake?" Izzy: "Yeah, they got cake." Ed: "Well they're, they're welcome to have some rhino horn. Just ground up a fresh batch." (snorts rhino horn) "Oh fuck! You want some?" Izzy: "No, not right now, no." Ed: "Well then, get back to work ya fuckin' lightweight!" [cut to Izzy among the crew] Ed voiceover: "Can't do the job, someone else will."

Throughout this scene, Izzy looks increasingly distressed as Ed does drugs - he looks his most distressed during the voice over however, his jaw flexing, his eyes watery.

This is what appears to have shaken him the most - the idea that he's replaceable, that Ed can and would get rid of him in favor of someone else. It's obviously incredibly distressing to Izzy, in a way that I genuinely don't think the loss of his toes was. Izzy clearly values his relationship with Edward - while in season 1 he definitely wanted a promotion and liked the idea of authority, of being captain, the fact that he was swiftly mutinied and nearly murdered seemed to put a kabosh on his ambitions, and reoriented him to staying at Ed's side. We know that Izzy at least believes that loyalty is important - we know that he thinks he's acting from loyalty when he tries to make Ed watch as his boyfriend (in Izzy's words) is murdered.

Izzy values his position with Blackbeard. He serves Blackbeard, respects him, was honored to work for a legend. And while this is supposition, he seems to have considered himself and Edward as having a close, intimate relationship that did not require words or confessions or honest expression of feeling, this kind of bond where words aren't necessary, because they're tough, manly men who don't need to express their feelings.

But.

Then we get this line. Then we get, "can't do the job, someone else will." Seven words, and they shake Izzy to his core, make him finally start questioning his until then unquestioned belief in the ways of the world and his relationship with Edward. It shakes him enough that he actually breaks in front of the crew, in a scene that's incredibly funny, but also leads to them extending him some genuinely unearned compassion, as they question the healthiness of his relationship with Blackbeard - even as Izzy is finally questioning if he has a relationship with Blackbeard.

Following his breakdown, Izzy has the crew bring the treasure above deck, but doesn't go through with making them throw it overboard. Instead, he takes those new doubts and brings them to Ed, pushing for a conversation where he is clearly for the first time in their working relationship expressing his thoughts on said relationship in word form.

Izzy: "The crew are refusing to part with any treasure." Ed: "Why?" Izzy: "Because it's fuckin' treasure." Ed: "Not good enough. (stops toying with knife, slides it in Izzy's direction.) And that's another toe. Take your boot off." (stands from seated position, walks over to Izzy.) Izzy: (starts by looking down at the ground, then slowly raises gaze to Ed's face as he speaks.) "Who am I to you?" Ed: “...What?” Izzy: “We’ve worked together for years. (sniff) You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you.” (a musical beat plays. Izzy lowers his eyes from Ed’s face, looking in the middle distance.) Izzy: I have (several second long pause) love for you, Edward.” Ed: (starting as Izzy is speaking, right after the word love) “Oh, come on.” (walks away from Izzy, circling around him.) Izzy: I’m worried about you. We all are. The atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned.” (pause) “But if we could all just maybe (pause, swallow, visibly struggling with words) talk it through.” (musical beat) Ed: (slowly looks up) “As a crew?” Izzy: (face falls subtly, taking on a starker look of upset)

The scene transitions away, but let’s really dig into all of this for a second, because this is crucial. This is Izzy going from matters between us are unspoken but profound to I have doubts and I am verbalizing my thoughts in the hope that they will be assuaged. Izzy is expressing aloud his thoughts on their relationship for the first time, because as Izzy puts it, he thought he knew Edward better than anyone. He thought he understood him better than anyone else alive. Now, we know that Izzy doesn’t understand Edward already - we’ve known that he doesn’t actually see the person Edward all along, but this was made especially clear in episode 6, where his voiceover notes that he is “starting to suspect that Edward has no intention of ending Stede Bonnet’s life”, at a point in time when Ivan and Fang are confident the plan is off and everyone else seems pretty clear there’s a co-captaining effect going on.

The point is that all this time, Izzy has been acting from a place of assuming he knows Edward best of anyone in the world, that he understands him, that he can follow what’s going on with him and that they are intimately bound together, in this deep and unspoken love for each other that doesn’t have to be said allowed, but only has to exist, unacknowledged but deeply felt. 

But then Ed said that he could be replaced. Then Ed said that he could find someone else to do Izzy’s job. 

And this introduced doubt into Izzy’s mind, for the first time. This is what made Izzy verbalize all these things - what made him ask who he is to Ed, what made him state that he has love for Ed, that he worries for Ed, that he and Ed understand each other better than anyone else… because now he has to say them aloud, because he has to be reassured that these things are true. 

That he is someone important to Ed. That Ed has love for Izzy and knows that Izzy has love for Ed. That Ed understands Izzy, that Ed knows that Izzy understands Ed. For years, he has thought that he and Ed understood each other in this profound way, that they alone truly knew the other, and he has to question if that’s true. 

He’s being vulnerable, in a way vaguely akin to the vulnerability Ed offered in episode 10, and it clearly doesn’t land. He wants reassurance that this deep and profound love and intimacy he was so sure was there, is real, and Ed can’t give him that reassurance because it’s not true. Not in the way Izzy was so sure it was. Not in the way he ruined Ed’s life to believe. 

Izzy finally decides to put himself out there, and all that Ed gets out of it is the echo of Stede Bonnet, and it makes Izzy’s face fall like a rock. There’s the answer he didn’t want: the relationship he believed he had with Ed is not there, and Ed is still, utterly, truly, fixed in his feelings for Stede Bonnet. 

(and like just to clarify, I really don’t feel bad for Izzy here - he doesn’t have the relationship he wants with Ed because he’s never tried to really understand Ed, or listen to him, and he isn’t what Ed wants in a partner, but, objectively, Izzy does make himself vulnerable here, and he’s shot down, because Ed just doesn’t return his feelings)

Which leads us into the continuing scene. Ed goes to confront the crew about the atmosphere of the ship being poisoned, which everyone denies at gun point, leading Ed to shoving the gun under his chin and having a little conversation with himself, unsettling everyone around. 

Ed: “I know who we should ask, ol’ Blackbeard. Hello mate. You think the vibe on the ship is poisoned? I don’t know, Blackbeard. Maybe a little toxic sometimes. Maybe it’s a bit uncomfortable sometimes. You do make the crew a little bit uncomfortable sometimes. They think you’re crazy. Well, I’m not crazy. I don’t feel crazy. I feel pretty fucking good actually.” (the camera is focusing on the faces of all the crew as he gives this monologue, gun still cocked under his chin.) Izzy: “Fucking End!” (Screamed at Ed’s back) Ed: (slowly turns to Izzy.) Crew: (Fang looking shocked and saddened. Frenchie shakes his head very minutely, looking at Izzy.) Izzy: “The atmosphere on this ship is (word drawn out) fucked.” (working his jaw, looking down and to the side as he says this.) “Everyone knows why.” Ed: (nods once, sets his chin, walks forward.) “Well I don’t. Enlighten me.” Izzy: (smiling with mouth shut, suppressing a laugh. Shrugs.) Your feelings for Stede fuckin’ Bonnet.” Ed: (Nods as soon as Izzy says Stede’s name. Shoots him in the leg.) Izzy: (cries out in pain drops, clutching his knee.) Ed: “Frenchie.” Frenchie: “Yes?” Ed: “Congratulations, you are now first mate.” Frenchie: “Oh, no. I don’t, I don’t  think I’m qualified.” Ed: “‘course you are mate. You can start by cleaning up that mess.” (tilts head towards Izzy. Turns to rest of crew, onlooking.) “And the rest of you, you throw this shit overboard and get suited up.” (claps twice, turns away.) “We’ve got a record to break.” Izzy: (still groaning in pain.)

So that was a lot. 

Izzy has realized, over the course of this episode, that his relationship with Ed is not what he thought it was, is not what he wants it to be, and that Ed is still and probably always will be, in love with Stede fuckin’ Bonnet. This is why Izzy decides to say what he believes to be true - that the atmosphere is fucked because of Ed’s feelings for Stede. It’s important that we know this is not actually true - while Ed being ghosted by Stede did start his spiral, Ed was able to stop that spiral with the help of community and reaching for healthy coping mechanisms. Ed spiraled again after Izzy intervened, insulting, threatening, and demeaning him as discussed in the recap, and the spiral isn’t about his romantic feelings - it’s about, as s2e3 The Innkeeper firmly establishes, his feeling fundamentally unloveable and monstrous. Throughout s2e1, Ed is clearly denying the crew days off and meaningful rest out of pursuit of as many raids as possible. He’s trying not to touch the ground, flying high both via drugs and adrenaline, and his exchange with Frenchie at the end of the impossible makes it clear he doesn’t want to stop. 

It’s also very important, that throughout this entire thing, the only crew member Ed actually hurts is Izzy, who doesn’t actually object to losing his toes. Now, I’m on record for being one of the many people who think Izzy is actually glad that the toe scene happens - I don’t think he actually especially wanted to lose his toes, but, he was glad to get back the Blackbeard who would cut off toes, and I do think he felt there was a certain intimacy in being the only one experiencing violence. Izzy is a masochist and has previously expressed delight in being the subject of violence - was very happy to be choked by Ed in s1ep10 - so while this is not safe or sane, I do think it’s consensual, in the sense that Izzy thinks this is part of their mutual love, their unspoken but deep and crucially intimate togetherness that leads them to know each other on the deepest level. 

And then Ed says he can be replaced. And then Ed makes it clear that even when Izzy is emotionally vulnerable, Ed’s heart is with Stede. And Izzy realizes, he doesn’t have that place with Edward that he thought he did. He doesn’t have that special relationship. This is not intimacy, for Ed. And Ed shooting him and turning away isn’t even the final nail in that door. 

Because, in s2e2, Izzy is still alive. The crew has hidden him in the walls and are trying to preserve his life, even as Izzy screams for them to kill him and calls them cowards for not doing so. The crew is gathering medicine, preparing an amputation, figuring out what to do with Izzy to try and keep him alive, and Izzy wants them to kill him. (Quote: “Kill me you fucking cowards! Kill me -”)

I would say it’s because he’s realized the relationship he devoted his life too and considered sacred, the relationship he considers most valuable… is not that to the man he loves. Ed replaced him and pirate code says the first mate should kill him. The first mate (Frenchie) refuses to kill him. Frenchie is not much for that, and neither is JIm. Both of them, having experienced a better life and place of work when Stede was captain and Ed was their co-captain, are trying to preserve Izzy’s life the best they can. Jim especially clings to the memory of when life meant something on this ship, even Izzy’s life. 

Which - this makes sense coming from Jim, and I think it’s why they chose Jim, because Jim wasn’t present for Izzy being captain or the mutiny. Jim has the least complicated relationship with Izzy aside from Fang, who is notably not present in any of the scenes to do with rescuing Izzy, despite having been clearly shocked and appalled that Izzy was shot. 

Izzy, is not thrilled to be being kept alive, but the fact that Izzy is kept alive, means that Izzy has to process his feelings - and face Ed again, who, having shot Izzy, mourned and sobbed, has woken up, cleaned himself up, cleaned his space out, and decided to seek death. 

From Izzy. 

This, I think, is the second most crucial moment in Izzy’s arc and transition, because Izzy thought he was someone of incredible importance to Ed, and he also thought that he knew and understood Ed better than anyone, and that Ed crucially, understood him just as well. He thought that even without any emotional honesty or vulnerability, they knew each other more than anyone else possibly could. 

He thinks that Ed knows him. 

And Ed comes to him, and they have the following exchange:

Ed: “Morning.” Izzy: “My leg?” (looking down his body.) Ed: (laughing) “Yeah. Oh, no, that’s gone now. Up in Leg Heaven.” (sets the smelling salts down, turns to look down at Izzy.) Izzy: (looks up at Ed.) “Have you come to take the other one?” Ed: “I think one’s quite enough. I just popped down to say a proper goodbye.” (reaches behind him, draws gun. Izzy: (watches the gun, looks down from Ed’s face to gun and back as Ed cocks and loads it.) Ed: (looking at the gun, not Izzy.) “Had a dream about you last night.” (flips gun to offer the handle to Izzy.) “Take it.” Izzy: “Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.” (slaps at Ed’s hand, looking away from Ed.) Ed: “Hold it! Hold it.” (they are speaking over each other. Gets the gun in Izzy’s hand, directs it at Ed’s head. Looking at Izzy.) “I dreamt that ya killed me. Shot me right through the skull.” (moving the gun and Izzy��s hand, drawing it to his forehead, leaning closer. The camera moves between Ed’s face and Izzy’s.) Izzy: (smiles slowly then sneers.) “Good for you.” Ed: (blinks and nods slowly.) “It was good for me. It’s just what the doctor ordered.” (The camera moves from Ed’s face to Izzy’s showing him with that frown as Ed stands over him, leaving the gun in Izzy’s hand.) “Anyway, it wasn’t even like that.” (walks away from Izzy.) Izzy: (eyes tracking Ed as he walks away.) Ed: “Not in my dream.” (moves to stand at the foot of Izzy’s bed, back to Izzy.) “I was standing.” (inhales). “Just like this.” (Closes eyes. Spreads arms.) Izzy: (from his view, Ed is standing against the light, back open, arms spread. He blinks and raises the gun audibly.) Ed: (Swallows, holding his arms out.) Izzy: (smiles, sniffs audibly, dropping the smile as he clenches his teeth. Laughs harshly, mockingly, gun raised.) “Ohhhhh, ah, you scared, Eddie? Too scared - too scared to do it yourself? Ay.” (laughs) “Go on, clean up your own fucking mess. I’m not doin’ it. I’ve been doin’ it all my fucking life.” Ed: (looks down, disappointed. blinks.) Izzy: Fuck off. Ed: (nods, swallows.) “Farewell, old chum.” (whispered. He walks up the stairs and away from Izzy.) Izzy: (watches, shaking, nodding slowly himself, breath hitching.) Ed: (reaches the top of the stairs. A gunshot sounds. A creak. Ed lowers his eyes, looking down at something off camera. Nods. Exhales.) “I loved you” (a pause) “best I could.” The scene transitions from there, and the next we see of Ed, he is initiating plan two of suicide attempts: steering the ship into a storm and goading the ship to kill him or die with him.

But Ed’s deal is so many more posts from here. No, we’re focused on Izzy for the moment, so what did this whole exchange mean for him?

First, the thought that Ed had come to do more damage. That Ed was there for Izzy, that this was about Izzy. But it’s not. Ed has had enough of that. He notably does not apologize. Izzy notably does not seem to expect one. There is history here, and the last time they were in positions like this, the camera angle was flipped - Ed at Izzy’s right, a hand covering Izzy’s mouth, making him eat his toe and the idea that things could go as they had been, that the Blackbeard Izzy had schemed and tried to have a man killed over was back. This time, Ed is at Izzy’s left, with a gun, and he doesn’t touch Izzy except to hand over the gun.

This is where it’s so important that Izzy believed he and Ed knew each other best of all. Because in episode one, Izzy was getting worried for Ed, but it’s in episode 2, in this moment, as Ed hands him a gun, that he realizes Ed wants to die. And it’s in this moment that he realizes that Ed fully believes Izzy could. That Ed has taken these actions believing that they would lead Izzy to kill him. That Ed wants to commit suicide via Izzy, that he thinks killing Ed is something that Izzy wants, could want, could do. 

This is Izzy, realizing that he and Ed don’t understand each other nearly as well as he thought. This is Izzy, realizing that Ed looks at him and sees a man who could and would kill him, when Izzy thinks that he couldn’t ever do that. This is Izzy, having the true final death knell on that relationship he believed they had, the intimacy he believed they had, the lack of a need for words. He thought all this time that he knew Ed best and that Ed knew him, and he doesn’t want to kill Ed - and he’s also hurt and angry and upset to know Ed genuinely thought he would. That Ed would come to him for this, because Izzy doesn’t think he could kill Ed, but Ed thinks he could. 

In his mind, Ed should know that Izzy could never kill him, should trust him, should know without having to be told that it would never happen, but here’s Ed in the flesh, asking him to kill him. 

It’s over, everything he thought was there. 

And Ed? Ed did care about Izzy, in his own way, but every overture he made was denied, shot down, Izzy not interested in the bird guy, the ship, the clouds and how they contribute to a plan, the drugs, and like, Izzy is allowed to not be interested in any of those things - but these are the things Ed was interested in. These are the ways Ed tried to connect most recently, and Izzy shot them all down. To Izzy, there was a deep and intimate connection in spite of all of that. To Ed, every way he could connect with Izzy was shot down. He loved him the best he could, which wasn’t a way that could provide either of them what they wanted. Izzy had love for Ed, but that love could not be fruitful or nurturing to either of them, because it was unspoken and therefore ripe for misunderstanding. 

Izzy stews down there in the ship, in his own thoughts, while Ed steers the ship into a storm and makes his last effort to die, to have it all end - to push the crew to killing him, or dying with him. And then he ties his leg up, makes his way above deck, shoots Ed in the arm to keep him from killing them all, and tries to kill himself instead, staring at Ed as he tries to shoot himself with the gun Ed wanted Izzy to kill him with. Despite the gun being aimed for the temple, he fails and falls back, leaving himself staring up as it rains on him, hiding any tears. Fang brings Ed down, and the crew gather together, Fang supporting Izzy’s weight, as Jim lifts a cannonball with a scream and prepares to bring it down on Ed’s head. Izzy watches without interfering.

EDIT: ADDED THIS SECTION:

A quick addendum: even though I watched episode 2 so many times, I didn't realize that Izzy tried to kill himself after Ed left the room! The gunshot that Ed hears is in fact Izzy trying and failing to shoot himself right then and there, in that moment that Ed departs. Izzy's forehead was so wet and the background of him falling back and water splashing was such that I truly thought that took place in the rain, and that he tried to shoot himself after shooting Ed. Thanks to @glamaphonic for letting me know. This does leave me even more certain that Izzy is motivated to do this because he has finally understood both that Edward wants to die, and that he and Edward never understood each other as well as he thought, which brings the last years of his life into question. He tried to kill himself, failed, and came up to stop Ed from bringing down the ship. It's not just that Izzy stews down there - as Ed departs, leaving Izzy behind, Izzy takes the shot. He tries and fails to kill himself, and wakes and climbs the steps to take the shot at Ed he couldn't before.

The next time we see Izzy is s1e3, The Innkeeper, when Stede crosses over to the Revenge and finds the crew amidst the wreckage. He’s eating a raw bird with the rest of the crew, and then is brought aboard the Red Flag. As Stede asks the crew about Ed’s location, Izzy watches him. He’s the only one not eating soup, hands tucked over his chest. 

As Stede starts asking questions - dangerous questions for Izzy and the former crew of the Revenge - he walks over with a crutch. 

Izzy: “Bonnet. Good to see you.” Stede: “Piss off, Izzy. I don’t wanna hear from you.”

Stede talks to the rest of the crew, as Izzy grimaces. Stede pays him no attention. The next time Izzy speaks up: Stede: “What about my painting? Why is it all stabbed up?” Izzy: (looking up through his hair, smiling.) “That was me.” Stede: (sighs and walks away without response.) Izzy: (blinks slowly, looking dismayed. We see him start to turn his head in Stede’s direction.)

Well, that seemed like someone trying to pick a fight, and disappointed he didn’t get one, too me. In Izzy’s mind, Stede is his romantic rival, the man Ed loves where he didn’t love Izzy, and, currently, also a threat, because if he keeps asking questions and reveals the mutiny, they’ll all be killed. 

But Stede is one more thing. Stede is another dagger in Izzy’s heart, as we continue transcribing:

Izzy: “Don’t cry Bonnet. We just redecorated.” (has clearly been following Stede.) Stede: “I don’t mind, actually. I think the knives really help bring the place together.” (calmly stated before he walks away to look at the rest of the furniture.) Izzy: (drops his head, looking away as though trying to gather words.) Stede: (turns to look at Izzy.) “What’d you do with him? I know he wouldn’t have left by choice.” Izzy: (sniffles) I know you think you understand him. Stede: (interrupting) “He was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which was it?” (leaning forward despite the considerable distance, still calm.) Izzy: (swallows, dips head. Starts moving forward, gritting teeth through words.) “Alright Bonnet. Have it your own way.” (stalking forward to Stede on his crutch.) “He went mad. He tortured the crew. He took my fuckin’ leg ‘cause I dared to mention your fuckin’ name.” (emphasis on the curses, slams fist when he says your name.) Stede: (in drawn breath, turns away) Izzy: “He was a wild dog, and we dealt with him like one.” Stede: “You sent him to Doggy Heaven.” Izzy: (stares in silence, head shaking. Flashes back to Ed laying in the rain, breathing out “Finally,” and laughing as Jim brings a cannonball down on him as Izzy watches. Stares. Turns to look away from Stede, face twisting. Shakes his head. Shuts his eyes. Breathes the word:) “No.” Stede: (turns to look back at him.) Izzy: “I could never do that.” (looks away, still not looking Stede in the face). “We deserved him on a beach (sniffles) left nature to do the rest. More than he would have done for us.” Stede: (turns away, breathing out.) Izzy: (continuing) “You and me did this to him. And we cannot let this crew suffer anymore for our mistakes.” Stede: (turns to look at Izzy) “Why would they suffer?” Izzy: “If your captain senses mutiny, she’ll kill us all. That’s pirate code.” Stede: (camera lingers on his face as he swallows.)

Doggy Heaven has a heavy meaning in this series, considering that Ed was supposed to send Stede to Doggy Heaven, and couldn’t because of his love for Stede. Ed couldn’t bring himself to kill Stede, but here is Stede, who Izzy views as a romantic rival, guessing that Izzy could kill Ed. Acknowledging that he, like Ed, believes that Izzy could kill Ed. Izzy, who thinks he couldn’t and wouldn’t and has love for Ed, and sees himself as loyal. 

But Izzy did stand back as Ed was killed, and that’s why he reaches for dehumanizing language to defend the action - he calls Ed a wild dog and that they dealt with him like one. 

(It’s the first time in the show that a white character makes a racist remark without immediate consequences. Before anyway says otherwise, yes it is always racist for white people to dehumanize a man of color. It is always racist to say a person of color is or was an animal or liken them to being an animal. He could have said that Ed was a danger to the crew in any number of ways but he reached for likening him to a creature less than human and yeah that’s a racist thing to do. I believe the show did not follow through with consequences for this action because it’s clear that Izzy is STILL trying to pick a fight with Stede.)

The commonality in all of these scenes with Stede are twofold. One, Izzy is trying to distract Stede from the truth of the mutiny and what the crew did (and the fact that Ed is still aboard the Revenge, left for dead [or as Izzy put it, for nature to do the rest]). The second is that Izzy is trying and failing to pick a fight - failing, because Stede won’t take him up on it. At all. Stede is not engaging with Izzy at this point outside of the practical matter of seeking information, and that’s all he has to spare for Izzy - he’s already told him to piss off once, and that’s as much energy as he spends on it, but Izzy comes at Stede antagonistically more than once - three times, actually, and I think it’s because if he has a fight with Stede, and Stede says all the things he’s thinking, about how awful Izzy is, how he’s a traitor, how could he have hurt Ed, any of those things, then Izzy can fight about it, and he can justify it to himself, and he can ignore the thought from now on, because it’s the same thought that Stede fuckin’ Bonnet is having, and those thoughts are worthless.

But Stede doesn’t give him that. Stede doesn’t give him a fight at all. Stede walks away from Izzy again and again and again and in doing so does not grant Izzy an out, an out that can ONLY come from Stede, because no one else is going to disagree with the mutiny. 

Stede is the only one who could give him that fight, and Stede refuses. And Izzy continues to have to sit with his own thoughts and justifications and they clearly aren’t enough for him, because he’s continuing to push. 

Izzy is also trying to protect himself and the crew, here. It’s very much about that. He is trying to keep himself and them from dying by being caught out for mutiny, but I think it’s interesting that it’s only here that he tries to take accountability for what he said and did to Ed, and it’s in service of avoiding what he’s actually done. Izzy says that he and Stede did this to Ed - this that resulted in, as he says, Ed going mad and torturing the crew and having to be mutinied and abandoned on the beach. Izzy needs Stede to feel equally responsible - so that Stede will help protect the crew, but also because I think Izzy is feeling guilty and has been, because he could watch Ed die, and he could hurt Ed, and he didn’t think of himself as that person, but he is and was, and thinking that he caused all of this himself is too much. Better to give some of it to Stede, and help the crew out as well as himself. 

He had love for Ed, in his own way, and he thought they understood each other and had a partnership, but here’s Stede fuckin’ Bonnet, who only knew Ed for a matter of weeks, and understood him better than Izzy did and wouldn’t do the thing that Izzy did, and this is the final nail for Izzy, the thing he’s struggling with in this whole revelation that Ed didn’t have any romantic love for him, that there was no special intimate romance between them that didn’t need to be said or expressed or acknowledged with words or vulnerability to exist, because Stede takes one look at the situation and can summarize what happened. Stede knew that Ed would want to die, because you can’t actually burn the world down. You can say “burn the world or die trying”, but the only end result is dying trying. 

And Izzy, I genuinely don’t think, understood that Ed wanted to die. Not until Ed offered him the gun. Not until Ed spelled it out. Izzy knew that Ed was fucked up over his feelings, but I don’t think he understood where they were leading. 

But here’s Stede, and he did, and Izzy can’t take that, which is why once the truth is out and the mutineers are locked in the brig awaiting probable execution, Izzy tries to pick a fight one more time, even now that there’s nothing to distract Stede from. 

Izzy: (hears footsteps and turns his head.) Stede: (comes to the brig, staring through the bars at Izzy, then the rest of the crew.) Izzy: (smiles) “Go on Bonnet, give me your worst.” Crew: (looks up at Stede slowly.) Stede: (Looks at all of them, silent and not visibly angry, somber. Tilts his head down, eyes closed. Opens his eyes, shoves against the bars and turns and walks away without a word.) Izzy: (Drops the smile. Stares forward into the distance, eyes visibly wet with tears, blinks several times).

 So, clearly trying for a fight, wanting one, and continually being denied. Izzy is almost certainly grieving Ed, the relationship he thought they had, and also his leg, and Stede is the only other person here who would even possibly mourn Ed too, and Stede refuses to give him any response. Even when goaded, even knowing the truth, he has nothing to say to him. The next time Stede and Izzy are in the same room, Stede has concocted an escape plan, and doesn’t look at or speak to Izzy at all as he gives instructions and organizes the escape.

And when they have made it back to their ship, when they’re getting the wheel and rigging set for escape, they have a final conversation:

Izzy: (walks up behind Stede, who is watching the Red Flag.) “I just wanted to thank you for-” Stede: (walks away without letting him finish.) Izzy: (looks down, is left standing alone as live moves on the ship.)

Over the course of these three episodes, Izzy’s plot is realizing that he was fundamentally wrong about his relationship with Ed, his understanding of Ed as a person, and the depths of Ed’s feelings and despair. I think he’s also realizing that he was wrong about his relationship with Stede - he saw Stede as a romantic rival, and someone who hated him as much as he hates Stede, but given the opportunity to antagonize Izzy again and again, Stede refuses, because he doesn’t care about Izzy nearly enough. 

Izzy has misunderstood the nature of his relationship as it were with both of these men, who are, and always were, predominantly, chiefly, and only, interested in each other.

[lachicavoltron333]

Sometimes i do wonder, back in the last episode of the 2nd season when Portia is speaking to Jack, she tells him that she is a mother and then talks about her daughters telling him that they are hers, but my question is, was she talking about Philippa and Prudence, or was she talking about all 3??? Cause she mentions "three young ladies."

But everytime i see her she is always fussing about Philippa and Prudence, but with Penelope she is always scolding her and often diminish her achievements.

Even saying that she is happy that one day she will take care of her (wich pen is obviously against and even dreading)

And then in season 3 ep 2 she is telling her "do you earnestly believed you might find a husband in your 3rd year out?" Wich in general is just cruel to say that to your daughter who is being laughed at by the Ton.

Because:

1. I think she was suposed to be presented around the same time as Eloise, wich would be her 2nd year, she wouldn't really be a spinster (pen was probably against it, but once again had no say in it ).

2. She never tries to teach her anything about the marrige mart or even try to help her find a husband, unlike the other 2 who already have husbands (although for Philippa it was easy, for Prudence idk what happened other than the fact that they are already married)

3. She always let's Philippa and Prudence make fun of her and mock her weight, and instead of telling both to stop it, she continues to let them do it.

4. Calling pen a spinster even though she shouldn't be one and shouldn't say that about her.

Honestly watching scenes like this makes me believe more on that one theory i saw (i forgot where i saw it☠️) that said the reason why Portia treats her like this is because of the fact that pen is a constant reminder of what she used to be when she was younger (another thing that i would have liked to see in queen Charlotte Is a young Portia before she was a featherington , kind of like Violet for example)

And then comes debling, and all of a sudden she says that she has done very well, and is very proud of her, and poor pen feels like she finally did something right.

And then debling steps away and chooses not to propose, and once again we see Portia say "what did you do?" Instead of asking her if she is all right. And then pen calls her out on it and she is stunned, she probably never had heard Penelope speak like that, ever.

Don't get me wrong, i love Portia, i think she is funny as hell and a great character, but why do you encourage your first two daughters but don't even try on the third one???

Idk maybe I'm just thinking too much about it (apologies for my grammar error, english Is not my language)

One thing for sure, i cannot wait for that confrontation between Colin and Portia.(I just saw a leak on twitter about it and I'm really excited)

Anyway thanks for hearing my rant.

[absolutebl]

Began Beginning - Myanmar's first BL 

Not So Quick Pitch (or is it a pitch?)

Cause I got a lot of thoughts

8 eps 25 min ea YouTube

Began Beginning feels very much like a first timers BL. Which it pretty much is. There’s a lot of explaining and info dumping and information that we really don’t need about the characters (or the family) especially in the first couple of episodes.

Here's your hlepful breakdown:

Mani = main boy workaholic, probably gay, acts ace 

Hlyan = cute flirty bestie, smoker, closeted gay (for good reason) in love with Mani (becomes main character about 3/4 way through) 

Walar = openly gay visitor recovering from a breakup who enters their codependent dynamic and things happen as a result

Thae = Mani & Hlyan’s other bestie, trans 

I was tempted to say this reminded me of early Vietnamese BL, but in actuality what it reminded me of most was the stuff we got from way back in the early 2000's out of Hong Kong, or more recently from the Philippines (I'm thinking about something like The Boy Foretold by the Stars).

There is a grungy sticky authenticity to these works, of which Began Beginning is now a part. They have their own tarnished charm. For all their hiccups in storytelling and absurdities, there is an almost documentary feel to them, partly as a result of the inferior quality of production and filming (which is entirely economic). But that itself also somehow adds to the appeal.

This kind of BL is entirely the opposite of something out of Korea or GMMTV. And if you like that BL best, you aren't gonna like this product. But as much as KBL wins top ranks from me pretty consistently these days, sometimes I enjoy this kind of BL too.

The range itself keeps the genre vibrant and healthy.

So what is Began Beginning about?

Childhood best friends must come to terms with their own identities and true feelings for each other when a new boy comes to town, putting them into conflict with their families and ultimately, each other.

For the first half of this show there’s a lot of sitting across from each other and talking about life choices over yummy food and then going to tourist spots (mildly boring and not particularly important to the plot). 

It changed tone about 2/3 in to be way more of a coming out family drama about forced marriages and homophobia.

And then at the very end it changed again, becoming a full on soap opera with kidnapping, crazy characterization shifts, and rescue missions.

All in all? It was a wild raw creature to consume as a binge. No kisses since this is Myanmar, but a very romantic end, so I think maybe actually worth your time? I'm certainly glad I watched it.

Recommended with lots of reservations but great respect. I’m going with a 7/10.

There is a particularly important part at the end when Hlyan talks about asking Thae to dress him as a girl to see if he was third gender because he had these feels for another boy. And how unpleasant that made him feel. I thought it was hugely impactful as a window into the boxes same sex loves in modern society forces upon us. No matter what options our culture provides for us, if the boxes are limited we feel limited too. Also, drawing a distinction between gender identity and sexual identity. Lovely bit of storytelling.

(see comments, turns out this is not the first one)

(source)

[drconstellation]

Dr Constellation's Good Omens Master Post of Metas

(Updated 4 June 2024)

See my Google Doc for a full list of Tumblr posts of interest.

Future Echos of the Past

The story of the Great War in Heaven as it appears in the present

#1: The Great War of Tadfield Manor #2: The Newton/Crowley Mirror/Parallel in S1 #3: "Not Even At Gunpoint"

Archangel Gabriel

Supreme Archangel Gabriel often stands on the demonic left-hand side in scene blocking, rather than the angelic right. He’s also fond of taking center stage! Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S1 Study S2 Study Part 1: Ep.1 The Arrival and Ep. 2 The Clue S2 Study Part 2: Ep.3 I Know Where I'm Going and Ep. 5 The Ball S2 Study Part 3: Ep.6 Every Day First-Order Archangels Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel

Gabriel and Crowley act as both parallels and foils to each other in S2. In Part 1 we look at some of the ways they are alike.

First-Order Archangels Part 2: Foils of War

Part 2 takes a look at where Gabriel and Crowley oppose one another, as well as highlighting some parallels between their respective partners, Beelzebub and Aziraphale.

First-Order Archangels Part 3: Seeing Eye To Eye

Gabriel and Crowley both have an interesting connection to time.

The Assistant Book Seller

Jim’s knitted vest holds a wealth of symbolic information - and a surprise nod that you didn’t expect.

Giles the Herald

An interesting parallel to Gabriel at the end of S1.

Aziraphale's Edinburgh Journey

Part 1: Detective Aziraphale

One of the reasons Aziraphale goes to Edinburgh is because it is a narrative parallel to Crowley’s trip to Heaven. There are also a couple of other things we need to consider, too.

Part 2: Aziraphale-Beelzebub Parallels

While Gabriel is Crowley’s mirror in S2, Beelzebub is Aziraphale’s. And there is a third character that makes an interesting mirror-triangle analysis that combines and reflects both major characters together as well.

Part 3: Stocktaking in the Basement

Aziraphale does a lot of reflection about the past while he’s on his trip to Edinburgh. How can this help him in the future?

Part 4: Judgement Day

Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh - and most of S2 - is filled with hints and references to the Second Coming. Gabriel's statue is one of them, but it has another role as well (and it's not for hiding anything under, sorry.)

Part 5: I Know Where I'm Going

Named after a Powell and Pressburger film, and an old Scottish folk song, this title sets the theme for Ep. 3 in S2. It's a discussion about Fate versus Free Will, the dangers of trying to escape fate, and looking at things from a different angle.

Archangel Rings

All the Archangels have golden rings, as well as Aziraphale. Find out what they reveal about each character.

The Golden Lions of Heaven (includes Aziraphale's Lion ring) Michael the Watchful Uriel's Star Ring The Brutal Truth about Sandalphon's Ring

A Companion to Owls minisode

Goats, Crows and The Flood

Crawley turns Job's goats into crows to save them. Why crows? And how does this link to the Flood?

Angelic Sheep and Demonic (Scape)Goats

Understanding the link between goats and demons gives you a deeper insight into Crowley's story - and also some of Aziraphale's.

Come Back When You Can Make A Whale

Take a deep dive into the Book of Job - and find out what it might be foreshadowing for S3

Aye, a Newt

Why Job’s children are turned into geckos, and a S1 connection.

Crossing the Threshold

Inside the Dirty Donkey

We’re going to the pub! What secrets does the Dirty Donkey hide behind its name?

Lifting the Veil on the Bentley

Peering behind the meaning of the Bentley’s number plate.

Memento mori

This is one of the major themes of the series - Remember that you die.

Obligatory Reminders and Crossing the Lines

Have you been wondering why Shax tries to do a mail delivery to Crowley as he escorts the shop keepers to safety from Aziraphale's Eldritch Ball? It seems a pretty random thing to do at that moment.

Stand-Alone Metas

The Ineffable Ducks

What are all those ducks doing? Ever got the feeling that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you…?

The Altar of Eccles Cakes

The Eccles cakes don’t look like they are doing much, but they are there for a reason - so is some of the other food you see.

The Cupperty Ceremony

Every bit of food and drink in both seasons has a metaphorical significance. Tea is no exception. It’s one of the few times an eastern philosophy creeps into Good Omens, but still meets with a western ideal.

When Crowley Met Jesus, and The Other Demon at Golgotha

Aziraphale suggests not one but two demon names to Crowley when they meet at Golgotha. Together they make a clever joke about the Third Temptation that most people miss.

Being Kind to One Another

Some clever and subtle word play on kind, linked between two scenes in the S1E3 Hard Times cold opening.

Once and Future Royalty

There’s a King Arthur and Camelot sub-theme running through parts of S1 And S2. Grab your coconuts and saddle up for a crazy ride through time and space!

Portable People

Crowley's yeeting them around while stress-cleaning the bookshop, Jimbriel is trying to sell them to the investigating archangels, and Muriel just wants to read them all. Should we give a second thought to any of these books?.

Bebop and the Book

Why can Anathema always put her hand on the right card at the right time?

Chiastic Structure of S1

Chiastic structure is a literary device where the story line is mirrored in reverse around a central point. S1 has an amazingly detailed chiastic structure, which actually reveals and confirms some meta speculations!

Chiastic Structure of S2

S1 was a fantastic example of a mirrored story line. S2 …isn’t. But there are still a substantial number of chiastic pairs to be found.

Liberty versus the Tree of Life

A philosophical look at the choices between coffee, freewill and death compared to access to the Trees of Knowledge and Life in the Garden of Eden.

Taking Things At Face Value

How our internalized values influence the way we judge people, often based on their outward appearance alone.

The Rules of Engagement

The Technicalities of Licenses, Permits and the Limits of Authority in Good Omens

A Tale of Two Peacocks

A look at the relationship between Gabriel and Michael: what they think of each other, and how they act as foils to each other.

If you are looking for more metas there is a group effort on this google doc here: Good Omens Crackpotting Theory Tracker This brings a lot of ops together in the one place.

[ryuki-draws]

How does having only half a brain left affect your survival odds in a Gundam? Time to find out!

N°3 was not meant to ever set foot in Asticassia but I decided she needed to join Geroge and Erik's emo band. I'm sure nothing bad will ever happen to her. (And I just wanted to draw her in a dress. As a treat.)

Rambling under the cut!

Marleen (name assigned by the researchers) has suffered severe epilepsy her whole life and anatomical hemispherectomy - surgery which removes parts of the brain that cause the seizures - was the last resort in effort to make the constant attacks stop. Unfortunately, the surgery was done at Claire's Peil under their enhanced person research program. So the now vacant space in her cranium was fitted with GUND implants and she was basically rolled off the operating table directly into a pilot seat of the company's prototype GUND format MS.

Luckily for her, having half a brain already running on the same format, the implants were able to process the information influx faster to a certain degree, thus making it possible to reach higher permet scores without getting what's left of her organic brain fried immediately. It is, however, not a solution to the overall problem - while the extra implants provide some added resistance, the data storm would still eventually kill her, even though it may take longer than previous subjects were able to withstand (RIP N°1 and 2). Plus, with her condition, permet score 3 and higher come with a risk of seizures unexpectedly returning while piloting, which opens a whole new can of problems.

When the duelling game started, she wasn't deemed suitable for a body double candidate and this ordeal was assigned to N°4 instead. She was, however, dispatched to school alongside him as a second year piloting student with a cover story of being a "test pilot" for Peil Technologies with clearance to participate in duels in non-GUND MS, unless instructed otherwise.

Additional assorted stuff (mostly EPs lore because I'm Unwell™)

the whole AU shenanigans primarly take place one year prior to the events of WfM, hence students with "K" designation in their ID number being second year, as opposed to third in the series

the duelling game started with the year of Miorine's admission to Asticassia, and with it the need for an EP body double to participate in the duels instead of Elan (who's a terrible pilot and would not be caught dead in a Gundam himself). There were three prior EPs at the research facility but N°4 was the first one who on top of everything has become a body double

when EPs outlive their usefulness to the company, they're sent back to the research facility, where they're further used as test subjects, as they may "still have research data worth obtaining in them." Deemed as truly expendable, they're first in line for anything too dangerous or unethical, but are not outright executed (no, I'm not over ep. 6, thanks for asking)

as mentioned in my previous posts, inspiration for Marleen's creation was Siri Keeton from the novel Blindsight by Peter Watts - who also had half of his brain removed due to seizures and replaced with implants - thus, the shared last name (the book is great, go read it. it's a sci-fi thriller and it has vampires in space! there's also a fan-made short film (4 minutes) based on the book worth giving a watch. this post is now Blindsight propaganda)

[incorrect-riordanverse]

watched ep 3 & 4 of the pjo show. here are random thoughts:

ep 3

ive said before that ive put off watching the pjo show after episode 2 because the pacing seemed like a rush of getting from story checkpoint to story checkpoint and it never sat in one place long enough to actually grip me. episode 3 started off like that too, before the trio went on the quest. i only started to really like it when they were on the bus together and more of their dynamic was shining. theyre so funny bru.

i like all the acting but leah jeffries and aryan simhadri are CARRYING SO HARD. its like they took annabeth exactly how i imagined her out of my head and plopped her on screen and im so shocked at the accuracy??? her attitude and side eyes and sass is perf. and simhadri’s grover is insane because (dont come for me) i actually like the show version of him better than i did in the book 😭 perhaps reading him was rocky and i interpreted him wrong but seeing him on screen makes me SO attached to him. like in the books he always seemed like a sort of third wheel and annabeth and percy were outshining him so much but he’s actually slaying the show. i love him lots.

i like the dichotomy between percy and annabeth. their dynamic is already so juicy, especially with how they view both their godly and mortal parents. you can see some of their fatal flaws already shining through UGH i love them

i like medusa WAY more in the show. she seems so menacing yet classy and much more multifaceted. my only complaint was that she died way too quickly. there was so much build up in tension only for her to get one-tapped and it was honestly disappointing.

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA SPOTTED 🫵🫵

dialogue was great in this episode, btw.

ep 4

dream sequence went so hard -> “just breathe mummy ☺️ you’ll always be here 😁” *cuts to percy alone on a desolate plane where she is, in fact, not here*

sighhh sometimes i forget these kids are just twelve and theyre literal BABIES and percy just misses his mum 🙁

annabeth exposition time. a comment on all the exposition— there’s always something each episode but i think the show is doing a well enough job of not dumping everything in a way thats spoon-feedy to audience or in a way that makes viewers feel overwhelmed. theyre breaking information up nicely (imo).

echidna is slaying so hard. sorry but the villains are actually eating the whole dish up. mwah no balls.

its giving “im not a monster, im a mother” 🔥

fight scene annoyed me again but at least the mother of all monsters wasn’t ONE TAPPED. but i was annoyed because the monster was not thrashing him around as much as it had the opportunity to and it was giving plot armour im so sorry. might be cause of budget or target audience/rating though idk. the commentary of the show seems more mature however.

anyways yurr those are my observations. i like these last two eps more than the first two so maybe i should let this series cook.

remember to pirate this show if ur gonna watch it!!

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 4

HE SAVED HER AFTER THE CAR ACCIDENT I KNEW IT!

AND HE KNEW WHO SHE WAS WHEN THEY MET ON THE BRIDGE! Okay, that I did not see coming.

This is clearly going to be an excessive capslock episode I'm very sorry.

This whole scene hits different now that you know that he's been in love with her since he was in school, and that she's the reason he likes those sweets in the first place. I love this so much!

WAIT THAT'S JONGHO SINGING! OMG I know the song but I totally forgot it was from this drama. I am such a bad Atiny. Has this song played before and I just haven't noticed?

I am going to say that I'm going to be a bit annoyed if it turned out someone pushed him or something. It'd feel almost like saying 'we can't have a romantic lead who suffers from depression' or something like that. But I shall reserve judgement until we see how it plays out. I mean stuff keeps changing because of the time travel stuff anyway. Just a thought I had was all.

I understand the logic of trying to exactly recreate the situation that sent her back into the past last time but I'm not sure lying in a river in the middle of the night was part of the magic

Calling it now this dude killed him because Sunjae wanted to retire. I have absolutely no foundation for this theory beyond knowledge of drama tropes but that's what I think

I know that you're grieving for your best friend but why would you say something cryptic like this and then just hang up without explaining when she asks what you mean

Ah, the magic only works at midnight! That makes sense. As much as anything to do with magic makes sense. I still don't understand what caused her to come back to 2023 in the first place though. Is it because Sunjae told her he loves her even if she didn't hear it?

Oh no she remembers what happened while she was back in 2023 including rejecting Sunjae and hitting him with her bag. OH NO.

This poor boy though. The girl he likes has what seems like a total personality change, tells him to get lost, and then a week later she's back to the way she was again.

Oh, yeah, him. Love him calling her 'girlfriend' rather than her name just because Sunjae is standing right there

When you find out your 19 year old past self is totally cringe

He's handling the whole personality switch thing far better than Sunjae is

This is so funny I thought for sure she was going to be the one who inspired him to become a singer and instead she's doing whatever she can to make sure he doesn't become an idol to protect him.

Of course there's a bully. There's always a bully. He can be friends with the bitchy girl who hates Im Sol.

Oh, punch him!

Holy fuck she just headbutted him before Sunjae could even land a punch. I love her so much.

Ah, I see. She saved him from his bully and now he's going to save her from hers

Scrap that she saved herself because she's awesome

Oh that's so smart she yelled a bunch of stuff about the future so time froze and she could sneak past Sunjae's dad

I love that even though she knows Sunjae as a friend now she still goes into fangirl mode sometimes. It's so cute.

Really can't relate to what a heavy sleeper she is. This is, what, the second or third time she's been asleep while he's been there and hasn't woken up at all. I'd have been awake as soon as he opened the bedroom door.

God he's so adorable. Look at him comparing their hand sizes.

The only time he ever looks happy now that he can't swim is when he's with her. I'm fine. I'm definitely not crying.

So she gave him the advice that he gave her. Does that mean he only knew to say it to her because said it to him in the first place? My head hurts 😂

I mean they can. You just can't be friends with this particular girl because you're in love with her

This is honestly making all the cringe stuff I did as a teen seem totally sane and normal

Okay, what's with the sus taxi that was going to stop and then pulled away when the driver saw that Im Sol wasn't alone?

He's all wet again. And, hey, she's remembered that he was the one who saved her after her accident

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 4

Because I have asks in my inbox about the color coding in Pit Babe even though I don't want to watch it, I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are. I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, I'm going to take off the captions.

I ship it. The reds are bad, but I don't trust a single blue except Alan. Kim is a honest red. I appreciate that in a show FULL OF LIARS!

Yes, Barbara! Be upset with this fake blue boy. Are you telling him how you saw him with Jeffery?!

I know Babe and Charlie are end game, but without subtitles, my hate for Charles grows each episode. The visuals are telling me he is a liar who does not respect boundaries. Charles should be with Waymond the way they both are LIARS!

And this is why I trust Alan, and only Alan. Drinking that color-coded product placement like his life depended on it.

Waymond, I trusted you. Then you turned red last episode, and now I'm noticing how you don't. wear. blue.

Y'all just talking freely in front of THE SPY NAMED JEFFREY!

Every episode, I feel worse for Barbara. Someone get him out of here (not Waymond or Charles, but a secret third option).

GOD DAMN IT! Not him! Why is everyone so handsy in this show?!

Something is happening! I'm so tempted to turn on the subtitles. Something is going on. What is Waymond telling Barbara?! Because something is clicking for Barbara. This is good acting because Barbara's posture changed. WHAT IS BEING SAID?!

Before he was a Slut for Christ, Barbara had a steering wheel necklace.

Waymond, what did you do because you are in love with our Barbie? Did you make a deal with the devil aka Big Red?

IT HAPPENED AGAIN?!

Babe's posture changed. What is Way telling him?! What is happening?! This is strange. I don't like it.

Wait, did we know Jeff and Charlie were roommates? Was Babe just jealous of them being roommates? Did I think they were lying when Babe is just being jealous?

What is happening?! See, nah. Even if Babe knew they were roommates, I still don't trust Charlie because this incident is too convenient. Babe gets attacked and Charlie just happens to be around. And he isn't even fighting back. This is the fight with Kim all over again. Something is off.

I do not like it here. These two pop up every time there is trouble, and Jeffery keeps staring at everyone all sus like, and BABE RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW! Big Red is there. GET OUT!

There are no colors to guide me here, but I trust Kim, so . . . did Winner send people to hurt Babe and Kim is upset about it? Nah. I don't trust Charles soooooo much, that I'm still betting that he set that up.

I know you and Kim will be a thing, Kenta, and I've thought you were good since the first episode, but I need you to pick a color that ain't black. I trust your future boyfriend, so I'm extending you some grace as you stand next to the devil.

Barbara, why is this man in your house? Did you invite him over or did he not respect another boundary? You probably told him to come over because *love* or whatever. Disgusting. I'm as annoyed as you, Barbara.

He had an entire sling on just hours ago making sandwiches, and now he is slicing and dicing. Don't tell me they have special healing powers. I don't want to know. Babe looks unwell, and Charlie is being creepy, and I'm in my feelings about it.

Jeffrey isn't bothered by touch anymore? Are they already sleeping together then. Babe needs to quit arguing with Jeffrey because the trailer had a car on fire, and I KNOW Jeffrey will be behind it.

Normally, I'd be thrilled for colorful characters, but I 👏🏾 Don't 👏🏾 Trust 👏🏾 Them 👏🏾

Y'all, does Babe know they are roommates, and is just jealous?! I still don't trust Charles or Jeffrey, but now I'm thinking I'm judging them too harshly if Babe is being irrationally jealous instead of being lied to.

So either Jeffrey is coming up with the plan to sabotage the car or he is seeing the future (where he sabotages the car).

I don't care if Babe knew Charles and Jeffrey are roommates and is just being jealous. Charles has no respect for boundaries and is a color faker; therefore, I hate him.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING BLUE AND RED, PETER?! You're wearing more blue though. Why was Kenta watching you? Why did he call Big Red? Why will you end up with Way? CAN I TRUST YOU, KATNISS?!

Babe is at his darkest watching his stalker lurk around his house.

Barbara shook Kimberly's hand, and that's all I need to support my Kim-is-a-good-red theory. But then Charles is watching this game with Sus Bros & Co, so I'm mad all over again.

JEFFREY, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DID THIS, I HOPE ALAN CHOKES YOU TO DEATH! And if it was Winner, who was SMILING, I hope Kim chokes you to death.

Alan, don't trust either of their asses. Do you hear me?! Go save our Barbie from the clutches of Charles before it's too late.

Afterthoughts: I really think watching this show without subs was the dumbest idea I've had because now I think I got some of the plot wrong and Babe is just super jealous instead of being lied too, and I'm wrongfully trusting Kim, but I'm committed to the bit. It's too late to turn them on now, and I refuse to go back and watch these episodes with subs since I'm so mad at Charles, Jeffrey, and Waymond who is doing some strange stuff to Barbara.

I only trust Babe, Alan, Kim, and Pete (because he is pretty).

Everyone else is a liar, liar, pants on fire.

[shortpplfedup]

We Are Episodes 1-5: Just guys being dudes I guess

Well I didn't think this was the show that would bring me back to writing anything, but low stakes and baby steps I guess. As with most of the BL I've enjoyed lately, I originally had absolutely zero intention of watching this. A 4-couple 16-ep hangout BL from New Siwaj? Nothing in there I need. Then this photo emerged from the set stills...

...and suddenly I was listening. Not terribly attentively mind you, but my curiosity was piqued enough to give her a try. So I did, and 5 weeks in I've decided she can stay for now.

I wanna be clear: there is nothing happening in this show. This isn't a good or interesting show. This is all about guys being dudes, hanging out with their friends, making new friends, and liking each other. Occasionally some of them talk about Art. But the vibes are...intriguing is far too strong a word. It's fun. It's cute. The characters are cutouts but clearly drawn (that is definitely one of New's strengths, I always know who his characters are and they rarely surprise or confuse me). The situations they put them in are pure undiluted tropery, but it works somehow? The cast has a lot of charm, that helps. Aou is playing probably my favourite character of his ever. Satang is making aegyo work for him shockingly well. Winny is giving something inexplicably fun as a surly art student. Poom is a goofy delight. Godji is here being hilarious. Every character is somehow pitched perfectly for the vibe. I am endeared. Each of our 4 couples is playing in their own genre of romantic comedy, but it all pulls together and not apart for me because of the breezy vibe of the whole. It ain't much, but it feels like everybody was having fun making this, and I'm really responding to that right now.

Our trope troupe, in no particular order.

Chain and Pun

Let's start with the friends to lovers couple, because there isn't much happening here yet (methinks the reshoots have pushed their story back near the end). There are all indications that both are somewhat aware of how they might feel. Pun is kinda chaotic and dumb like a fox methinks. Chain is endeared. 1.5/4 hearts

Tan and Fang

Next up we have the loud and quiet pair. Fang mostly keeps himself to himself and Tan is LITERALLY incapable of doing that. Motormouthing a mile a minute, telling all his business, calling friend gatherings together to announce that he likes somebody (not that they're dating, just that he likes them). He's annoying. And Fang is endeared by that. Him agreeing to date Tan seems a little out of nowhere but there isn't any pretence or secrecy to Tan. What you see is exactly what you get, and Fang seems to like what he sees. 2.5/4 hearts.

Toey and Q

Our third couple are our grumpy/sunshine couple. Normally this level of cutesy would drive me straight up a wall, but I think what's saving it for me is that nobody's really denying their feelings here. Q grumbles, but Toey has him completely wrapped around his little finger, and they both kinda know it. I'm pretty sure these two would actually burn down the world for each other if it was required. 3.5/4 hearts.

Phum and Peem

Our enemies to lovers couple. Up until this week I did not understand what they hell they were doing with these two, but it's clicked into place now: you think Phum is taking advantage, but Peem wouldn't be doing a single solitary fuck of this if he didn't want to. He started this out by kicking that man in the nuts, he ain't scared. Once Peem's curiosity overrode his pisstivity, it was only a matter of time. Watching him wait this entire episode for Phum to kiss him, then slowly realize he was gonna have to be the one to do it himself was...*snort* 2.5/4 hearts.