#watch me make a comic with no actual prior experience lol

[lukasdoodles]

   “Meet Julia- I might’ve maybe known him a bit longer than you all, but here he is!” Disco smiles, waving his arms as he shows off the newest edition to the Minor Circuit. Joe and Kaiser share a look, the fear of a ‘mystery match’ rolling off their shoulders as Julia steps forward to greet them...

[beepofsleeplessdreams]

thinking out loud about some anime an illustrator i like worked on

so, one of my favorite illustrators (at least, I think that's the right term for him) is yoshitoshi ABe. recently i made the decision to look through a bunch of projects he had a hand in, mostly because i wanted to see what kind of stuff he'd attached himself to over the decades. prior to this i'd only seen Serial Experiments Lain, but i feel like basically everyone's seen that so that's not saying much lol. this was partially spurred on by a friend of mine telling me Texhnolyze was among their favorites. at time of writing, i've finished Texhnolyze and NieA_7, and i'm watching Haibane Renmei on-and-off and loving it. the world is bizarre and beautiful, and the character designs are lovely and have so much personality in my eyes. so that's where i started. so below is a series of rambles and thoughts i've had on this little journey of mine up to this point. i've still got a ways to go.

misc. spoilers for Texhnolyze in the next section

texhnolyze was a show i really enjoyed, but falls into the same pit as serial experiments lain in my brain. i struggle to understand what it's trying to say below the immediate surface and i end up primarily enjoying it as a surface-level product. not to say that i didn't make some connections in my head along the ride, i have so many questions about the world that i want answered, and some really fun observations I made. ichise's conversation with the voice in the chair was something that i had a lot of fun picking apart because it tickled that little goblin in my brain that loves social science. with the whole idea that height relates to authority, the pile of stones bringing images of gods on mountains in myth, but the chair tying all that powerful imagery up in this idea of boredom. apathy of the gods and all that. the entire trip to the surface is something that had me on the edge of the seat, and kinda tied into my greater sci-fi brainrot. that whole idea that one a society stagnates and rots people seek "better times", and this is how you end up with so many space prussians/germans being bad guys in older sci-fi anime like classic gundam and legend of the galactic heroes. it's people clinging to an idea of a """better time""" to larp that they're better than they are. this is what was going through my head during the arc of the story on the surface, whenever i saw that outdated technology that lives only in old b&w movies and period pieces. despite these obversations, i feel like i can't formulate a big picture, this is by no means bad, but i can't help but feel like i'm "missing something". though, this might be rectified in lain's case when i get around to it, it's been close to 10 years since i last watched it.

misc. spoilers for NieA_7

this is one that i don't think i ever heard someone talk about prior to me just plucking it off of ABe's wikipedia page. it's this weird slice-of-life comedy about living in poverty but there's also humanoid aliens that are kinda just around and comically failing to integrate into society. that whole second point, with the aliens, i feel it kinda detracts from a lot from the show's actually really simple and touching heart about just trying to escape being poor. the whole thing is kinda tainted with this mild xenophobia for the sake of "comedy" and the vast majority of the recurring aliens are these really mean-spirited racist stereotypes. eventually i came to ignore the vast majority of that aspect of the show, besides the titular NieA, and focus on the part of it that really spoke to me. the main character, Mayuko, is a young adult working 3 jobs on top of going to cram school in a desperate attempt to get into a good college and escape poverty by getting a """real job""" and a """future""". the reason why i use quotations is the same reason why her character really spoke to me. she was so focused on the mere act of survival and vaguely working towards the future that she never found the time to really think about the future. no plans, no dreams, inching towards a success she has no idea how to capitalize upon. something similar happened to me, personally. i spent the vast majority of highschool and college fighting for good grades and accolades with no other plan than to just get away from a very toxic family situation. and i succeeded. i gave up a social life for the sake of advancing and was rewarded by getting poached right out of college into a fairly comfortable. i moved out 6 months later and subsequently broke down. without that constant pressure of ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE i had this sort of psychological explosive decompression and became incredibly depressed, and almost made some very poor and very permanent decisions. i saw a character that was flying towards the same mistakes i made and i was wondering all along if the show would propose some kind of "solution" that i'd failed to see. it didn't offer anything concrete, but something much simpler that i nontheless really appreciated. a loving promise that things will be okay somewhere, someday. the same sentiment helped me when i needed it. i get that that's corny as hell, but i'm a stupid mushy man-thing. it's a show i really recommend people look at, because while the lows are INCREDIBLY low and mean, the heart is there and beautiful.

[ghostarr]

Because production started! Some thunderbolts thoughts...

We already know yelena has been working for valentina for some time, and in hawkeye it seems implied she got her as a contact from another ex-widow after she blipped back. So valentina having red room connections makes sense. As does alexei and antonia joining through yelena. (Though i am curious if antonia survived the snap and how she's developed in those years. i feel like she needs those extra years to properly age her up, and become her own person. i'm still pretty iffy on the bw timeline...)

We saw valentina recruit walker in fatws after being stripped of his title. So once again she's swooping in to pick up a displaced soldier in a desperate moment. It's obvious she has interest in a very specific kind of enhanced individual, ones that were strictly trained and bitter about being used and now lacking direction. The red room, hydra, and shield are now all gone. So they're "free." But they're all used to taking orders and not really used to making their own life choices. Ava, antonia, and yelena didn't have normal childhoods past a young age, how would they adapt back into society after being isolated from it? Even walker who has been in the military pretty much his entire adult life, that's his entire purpose and we saw how upset he was to lose it. Obviously this makes it very easy for valentina's offer to appeal. What are any of them going to do? Get an office job? Lol

We only got some hints of val's actual agenda as cia director in wf, but there's definitely more to be revealed. But it'll be interesting to see the mcu political landscape through secret invasion, cap4, and thunderbolts.

So i'm curious how she's not just recruiting bucky, but positioning him as the leader of the team. since valentina has shown longterm plans, it's got to be more than slapped together for a single mission. How would she have sold it to somebody like bucky? Giving him the opportunity to mentor and guide troubled heroes like himself? Obviously he'll be in a good position to understand what a lot of them have been through. And since he's worked with the avengers in iw and endgame, his experience legitimizes the operation. I'm pretty sure most of them will be convinced they're working on the good side doing the right thing, even if they're getting their hands a bit dirty.

But the one I'm most curious about is of course ava. How do you get somebody with such trust issues against the government on board with working for the cia. Does she have prior history with valentina? Is she being blackmailed or threatened the raft instead? Is she playing along because she has insider info she's looking to sabotage? There's a lot to work with given comic ghost's thunderbolts history and motivations, it'll be interesting to see if they tie her motivations into those storylines.

The appeal of the thunderbolts comics for me has always been all the conflicting agendas and loyalties that unravel in the worst way. I'm definitely expecting betrayals and twists if it's being done correctly. And after watching beef i feel like the creative team really understands messy dynamics. I know a lot of people were initially skeptical over the members lineup, but i see so much potential!! And i'm so excited to see how sentry ties into this too.

Anyway ive been waiting forever for this 😭

[hekatekun]

hiii i really really love the way you write and the themes you touch on in your posts id love to hear if theres any books/media that influenced your writing style + the things you focus on in your analyses !

omg hiiii thank you<3 this got annoying so lemme put it under cut lol

This is actually really hard for me to pin down I've been racking my brains over this one. I tend to be a little bit of everywhere, just whatever catches my interest at the time. Most of my personal reading is nonfiction within the realm of philosophy/theology + history + english criticism; whatever fiction I do get around to tends to be horror and/or satire. House of Leaves by MZD actually has just about everything that tickles my fancy. Finally read it beginning of 2021 and I truly haven't been the same since. That's definitely a big one.

But to give you an idea here's the pile of books I'm looking at on my desk as I type this is: an anthology of John Wesley's sermons (founder of Methodism), House of Leaves, an anthology of Percy Shelley's poetry + prose, "The Sphinx in the City" essays on urban living + feminism, the communist manifesto, a dissertation on the influence of Hermann Hesse in Japan, "Thank God for the Atom Bomb" essays by a "conservative cultural critic", and how could i forget the 70pgs of the unabomber's manifesto i printed out.

Currently been slowly making my way through "Romanticism and Consciousness" which are essays on the historical/political background influencing Romantic literature. More often than not I tend to look for essays and critical readings of works before I actually do read said work proper. I don't recommend this btw I just never listen to my own advice. But like, this book inspired me to buy the Shelley anthology. And some of the essays in the Shelley anthology analyzing him I actually found online weeks prior and added them to my digital library. I'd rather read them physically, as I tend to highlight my books. I find highlighting + margin notes really help me stay focused otherwise simply Sitting And Reading makes me go a lil nutz unless the book really is that good. I backed an artist's first comic book that had me ensnared recently. Independent comics tend to do a number on me. Yes I'm still a huge homestuck fan. Will be going 8 years strong.

I reread Brave New World late 2020 after, somehow, getting my hands on it in middle school. Comparing the way the protagonist kills himself at the end vs trying to read Huxley's theological pieces, he should've stuck to the racist satire. I'm still gonna try to finish the Perennial Philosophy, though. All this rambling has me realizing the childhood series I grew up on was A Series of Unfortunate Events, so I think I'm starting to notice a trend.

But actually the biggest media type I consume is games I fucking love video games. I think I cried playing Disco Elysium. I wish more games understood its medium as well as DE. I think that's really what you have to find is stuff that understands its medium. Ososan is a show that is really fucking good at being a tv show, and I think it helps because it doesn't necessarily draw from anything prior because it's such a different beast from osokun (the ososan manga actually came out like a few months after it aired I learned recently).

I don't watch many movies or shows, and the ones I do make me really wanna read the original source material just so I could compare (A Clockwork Orange, American Psycho). I just last watched the Belladonna of Sadness and I think that's an animated movie that understands it's an animated movie. Why go for realism when you've got watercolors?

My other main criteria for any piece of work is that it makes me want to pick up smoking. I don't think I could explain this further if you asked.

Aside from. Any of whatever I just said. My writing background is largely academic with some journalistic experience. It makes media analysis really easy. It also helps that there's technically no wrong answer when it comes to critical readings, just like any school essay you just have to be able to back up your claims with evidence and articulate the connections you see. Prose is a new beast that I am attempting to tame but I think 1. You need to have fun with the learning process and I do in fact enjoy learning. This includes a willingness to examine and reexamine your own words even after you're done working on a piece and analyzing what you can/need to improve on. 2. I really enjoy being able to construct a sentence in a million different ways and I will always have a tab open for the Merriam-Webster dictionary-thesaurus while writing ANYTHING. 3. Did I mention having fun? I really have fun writing I love writing as a hobbyist. 4. Consume and question everything in equal measure. This will eventually produce something.

[itsclydebitches]

I adore talking about this with you, it's so cool to be able to agree, everything I've read is just excusing yen lmao.

And with "geralt would rather do and say things Yen wants to avoid pissing her off" LIKE YEAHH I guess I annoyed yen with my answers and she teleported Geralt out of the tower thing, and then threatened to do it again like??? Like he pissed her off so she has fuck all care about him, was over water thank god but like girl??? omg and her refusing to tell the wticher bros what she was planning on doing to Uma, like I get that they would be hesistent but I mean it's cause it's cruel and painful and they have that trauma around that. She just expects everyone to do what she asks when she asks no questions. (Lambert's "I'm not geralt" when he and Yen are kinda arguring, bb red flags)

I just assumed she didn't believe him cause if she did whats her excuse for behaving how she is lmao??? Like you believe he has amnesia and you still blame HIM over the person who maniplated him KAY.

And goodddd that fucking scene when Triss and Yen see Ciri in Kaer Morhen is genuinely the worst, Triss and Yen see their sis/daughter (not gonna get into how weird I find it that Triss considers Ciri her sister and Geralt is Ciris father and she still wants to fuck him, uncomfy) for the first time in forever, she's alive and well and while Triss is hugging Ciri, Yen kisses Geralt and Triss throws a glare at her. I hated that scene so damn much, it's stupid and shouldn't have been there. (aso I get emotions and all but Yen kissing Geralt is so bitchy, idk even full of gratitude and emotion I wouldn't kiss the man who just dumped me lol, especially not in front of a situation like Triss)

I'm still mad about the women, I really wanted to like them fuck meeee

YOU GOT TO THE PART. Oh thank god, anon, I've wanted to talk about this since we started these conversations lol

Okay, let's set the scene, shall we? You arrive to find that, with our playthroughs anyway, your ex has barged into your home. I say "barged in" because although we (Geralt) know that Yen's help is necessary and she'll be tagging along, the other witchers living there are given no prior warning and, according to Vesemir, Yen teleported in without so much as a "Hello." She then immediately starts ordering everyone around like her servants, failing to explain the situation beyond there being a curse that they have to help with. No, this isn't negotiable. She (still being an ex) takes your old room for herself, which just happens to be the biggest in the keep, and proceeds to toss a bed out the window. It's only later that Vesemir recalls that Triss used to use it, so prior to that everyone apparently just accepted that Yen was destroying their stuff for no understandable reason. Classic Yen. You go upstairs to find her cursing a blue streak at her failed experiment and when you try to lighten the mood, she snaps at you. If you're of the opinion that Yen's every order must be obeyed, this is when you're supposed to drop the conversation entirely, because she said to. Except, funnily enough, you'd like to know why she's up here being The Worst Guest Ever and destroying your property. She tries to justify this by saying that destroying a bed is better than how she could be dealing with her anger over Triss. Be grateful and all that. Except, it's not really about Triss, is it? The line is "You shagged my friend. For upwards of a year. I don't know what your witcher's code says on the matter, but ordinary folk would consider it obscene, base, vile." The blame is not on the woman who knowingly manipulated Geralt into having sex with her while he was vulnerable, it's on Geralt himself! He is the "obscene, base, vile" person for... daring to have amnesia? And when you point that out - "Yen... told you already. I lost my memory" - she yells that she's "lost [her] patience" and teleports you into a lake! This is, apparently, how she really wants to deal with her anger. Not by destroying beds, but by attacking you for things outside of your control. And I do consider it an attack. Yen is meant to be insanely powerful, she is leveraging her magic as a weapon here, particularly when Geralt has spent the whole game commenting on how much he hates portals. Yen knows this. Not just because he says so in her presence, but because she frequently reads his mind, something else he's expressed discomfort with. She's not just demonstrating her power (controlling) and sending him away when he makes a point she doesn't want to acknowledge (immature), she chooses the one thing she knows makes Geralt uncomfortable, perhaps even scared. Then when you've swum your way back to shore and returned to, despite all this, begin her list of chores, she makes a dry comment about how next time she just might drop you high enough for the fall to be fatal. With the next time implied to be, you know, the next time you disagree with her. The next time you dare to do anything other than agree with her every belief and jump at her every command.

The fandom interpretation of all this: "Lol Geralt getting yeeted is so funny. And their banter is just 😍"

Me:

You mentioned red flags and yeah like that ENTIRE SCENE is a crimson banner for me. I mean, by all means, love the fictional ships that are super messed up (I often do), but it astounds me how many fans honestly think this is just a cute interaction with absolutely no problems attached. Nothing to question here, folks. I've mentioned before, but last I discussed this in depth the asker wanted to know if I'd been an asshole to Yen and... that's it. That's the perspective. Any disagreement with her, any pushback, anything that's not complete, blind obedience is something she will not permit AND something most fans take as a given. If you're not doing what Yen tells you to, you're automatically the asshole, and if you're the asshole, you automatically deserve any punishment she chooses to dish out.

Comic spoilers coming up if you want to skip, but this is made abundantly clear in "Curse of Crows." Yen and Geralt are at their best in the moment below, enjoying one another's company on a nice day. Yen asks if Geralt wants to swim and he says nah, he'd rather watch her. She appears to like that idea and, indeed, swims naked while Geralt admires from the shore.

Actually cute right? I really liked this moment! They're cuddled up together and exchanging smiles. It's a rare moment of peace where I can believe that they truly care for one another, outside of passionate sex and not wanting the other dead. Finally, something beyond that incredibly low bar.

...except Yen starts flirting with a young man who shows up, invites him to travel with them, all while refusing to explain why she's interested in his company. The sudden third wheel is clearly bothering Geralt, but Yen continues to ignore his questioning. The answer she finally gives later that night?

She did it purely to mess with Geralt! It's his "just desserts" for "refusing to swim with [her]." She is "not one to be refused - I thought you needed reminding" by giving him "a flick on the nose." When I say that Yen treats Geralt like a dog I mean she literally treats him like a dog. He's a servant who must jump at her every command and if he doesn't, he'll punished for disobedience. He might not even know why he's being punished for a long stretch because Yen enjoys making him think she's a normal person capable of accepting that he doesn't feel like swimming right now - insert the Kaer Morhen scene where she wants to go have sex upstairs, but Geralt wants to catch up with the brothers he hasn't seen in an age here - only to reveal that actually she's made their formerly nice outing uncomfortable because he needs to be put in his place. All of which is followed by, "So... willing to join me now?" The message is very clear! Geralt had better get his ass in that tub unless he wants to be punished some more. Whether he wants a bath right now or not is inconsequential.

This is also the run where she scares the women Geralt was with, despite them being separated right now. Why? "I could."

Claims that Geralt is allowed to return to his companions (who he actually waves away) only for him to realize she's cast a spell to burn him with the water. Yen loves pretending she's okay with things only to punish Geralt for them later - sometimes with physical punishments. And what would have happened if the women had actually joined him again? Do witchers weather hot water better than the average courtesan? Who knows, but Yen clearly doesn't care who might get hurt.

Just like her time in Skellige and at Kaer Morhen, she refuses to explain what's going on. She just expects people to obey her, so-called loved ones included. Geralt was to get her cider, and arrive before her bath went cold, not question what they're doing on this dangerous hunt. He's a servant.

And my favorite, petty moment: transforming her awful inn food into a lavish meal without offering to do the same for either Geralt or Ciri.

"But, Clyde, that's just the comics. They're not really canon." Nah, questions of canon aside, this is 100% Yen's characterization. She's prideful. Immature. Beyond controlling. And punishes anyone who dares to tell her "No." Fans are always pointing out that she's meant to be horrible, she could have been a villain in another life, like any of that explains why I'm supposed to root for this relationship or enjoy her existence outside of being a complex character. Yen is interesting, but she's interesting in a "I can't wait to see her get her own just desserts" way. Not "Wooo now I get to watch this story ignore her behavior again to push a True Love narrative."

She punished Geralt frequently during their first meeting, she punishes him whenever they get together, and, I think, she punished him during the reunion with Ciri. Given our playthroughs, do we really think that after breaking up with her and all this fury over Triss - an anger so deep she destroyed the bed and attacked Geralt - she's just overcome with such joy that she forgets they're not together anymore and forgets the anger she's been nurturing for years? Yen doesn't forget. She's staring at Ciri during that moment, right where Triss is currently running towards them, and then after a considering look at Geralt pulls him in for that kiss. That was calculated. She did that to make a claim she no longer had. To punish them both: make Triss uncomfortable by playing at the "perfect" family reunion; make Geralt uncomfortable by kissing him when she knows he doesn't feel the same way. But of course, the popular reading is that she just loves him so much she couldn't help herself. Riiight.

It's just all SO BAD. (Including, as you say, the ickiness of having Triss lusting after Geralt and referring to Ciri as "little sis.") I love a lot of the women in Witcher - Cerys is a fave, Ciri, Saskia, Philippa, Keira, etc. - but the two I'm supposedly meant to fall in love with are just the worst lol.

Basically:

Half the fandom: TEAM TRISS 🤬

The other half: TEAM YEN🤬

Me: TEAM REGIS 😭

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[tiny-slasher]

🍁 Year in Review ���

Tagged by: @samwise-babeyy

Rules: Answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

All my answers are basically “out of date” because I don’t actually keep up with anything new, so I’m just listing the stuff I listened to or watched in 2020 the most, or for the first time.

🍁 5 favorite films you watched in 2020

i. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

ii. Predator

iii. Rob Roy

iv. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

v. Black Christmas

🍄 5 favorite tv shows you watched in 2020

i. Mandalorian

ii. Cells at Work

iii. Beastars (listen...)

(That’s all I watched)

🍁 5 favorite songs you listened to in 2020

i. Green Bus - Innocence Mission

ii. Deep Sea - Oh Land

iii. Sky Blue - Peter Gabriel

iv. Reincarnation - Susanne Sundfør

v. Avalanche - Leonard Cohen

[BONUS] vi. Saturn Swallows the Sun - Ghost Twin

🍄 5 favorite albums of 2020

i. Oceanborn - Nightwish

ii. Plastic Heart - Ghost Twin

iii. Prequelle - Ghost

iv. Children of Termina - Rozen

v. American IV: The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash

🍁 5 favorite books you read

i. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

ii. The Shadow over Innsmouth

iii. The Call of Cthulhu

(Technically they were audiobooks lmao...and that’s all I listened to)

🍄 How did you spend your birthday this year?

The same as usual...I stayed at home with my parents and brothers, ordered a cake from Dairy Queen, and opened up a couple of presents that I’m always surprised to get. Ironically, my dad got me a Predator Funko Pop because of this inside joke that we’d had at the time, but then I actually saw the movie like a month later and now I thirst.

🍁 What was your most memorable day this year?

When a friend of mine said “Hey you should meet this guy I know” and I finally reluctantly agreed, and now I’m in love.

🍄 What was your most memorable meal you had this year?

Well...I’ve had a few memorable ones for bad reasons, mostly because of my recovery. But the only one I can think of that was memorable, and happy, was the meal my family had for Christmas. We all ordered our own takeouts of choice, and it was awesome tbh. Very lowkey, which is what I prefer with holidays. Everyone had a nice time. 

🍁 Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine?

I did bake cookies a few times. Prior to this year I’d only baked once, and it was not great. Definitely not a natural born baker lol. But I did make cookies and found it very enjoyable.

I also tried to make a donut in Blender...and I did ok, but my computer doesn’t like to run the program so I abandoned it after putting on the sprinkles.

I also drew a comic for my OC, but I still haven’t posted it anywhere bc I forget it exists.

🍄 What was the last big/event you remember doing before Covid?

Valentine’s Day I guess?? Idk I don’t really care for it much tbh. I also watched Cats ironically, and it was honestly one of the funniest experiences I’ve ever had, because of the other audience members.

🍁 5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020

i. I met my future husband (jk but not really)

ii. I appreciate things more that I didn’t beforehand.

iii. I made it through an entire year of ED recovery (yay!!!)

iv. I got into slasher stuff, which while it’s had a few downs, has mostly been ups. It’s been the most fun I’ve had in years.

I legit can’t think of anything else. My life is mostly just kinda boring these days tbh.

🍄 Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year

Don’t underestimate how important hugs are.

It’s ok to eat cookies. And it’s ok to not eat if you’re not hungry.

Pay attention to the people you care about, because even if you think you know everything about them...you don’t. 

If you’re worried about something, and you don’t see yourself being worried about it in a week, then it’s probably not a big deal.

🍁 And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

I am scared to look forward to anything, in general. I just sort of go day by day every year...even without the virus stuff. It’s easier on my anxiety.

Plus I started the year literally crying my eyes out, and then woke up sick the next day...so my expectations are low lmfao.

@ everyone...everyone I was gonna tag has already been tagged lol

[vegetacide]

Tagged

Tagged by @gumnut-logic  :)

1. Would you rather accessorize with scarves or necklaces?

Scarves,  cause I like soft stuff to snuggle and hide my face in.

2. How old were you when you first saw mountains? (Or if you haven’t seen mountains, what do you imagine they’re like?)

Smokey Mountains on a road trip... erm.. in my mid teens I guess...

3. Do you make your bed in the morning?

It a habit I recently started when we first went on lock down to help me get my day started... prior to that.. hell no as I would just be crawling back into them later.

4. What type of stories did you like as a child?

Book wise when I was little.. anything my Dad would read to me at bedtime...As a teenager it was Sci-fi, fantasy and romance and hopefully all in the same book. 

5. What was the most exhilarating experience of your life?

Hmm ...no idea so will pick some at experience at random... sailing through a sun shower in St. Thomas on one of our honeymoon excursions to see sea turtles in their natural habitat. ...

Snorkeling for the first time in the ocean..

Skiing down a winter slope when I was a kid and somehow not managing to kill myself (I suck at skiing) 

First day we brought my daughter home from the hospital.. feels surreal as I sit here to think the 5 year old softly snoring beside me was once sooooo small and it was ONLY 5 SHORT YEARS AGO.  Dude, when they say the little years go by fast.. they weren’t kidding..

Oh.. and of course walking down the isle and somehow not tripping over my feet and face planting in front of my family and friends as I was shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane having a mild panic attack and worried I was going to fuck up somehow.

Okay, so the last one was more terrified than exhilarating but.. meh...

6. Do you agree with the concept of exotic pets?

Here in North America... if the thing was born in the wild.. it should stay in the wild...unless under the extreme circumstances of animal rescue when the animal can’t be returned to the wild..   If it was breed in captivity and is not on the endangered species list and wont eat you or rip your face off...say like a hedge hog which is oddly enough considered exotic where I am.. then its okay but only if the owner can provide a loving, healthy home.  (wolf hybrids,  tigers, ligers, and other exotic large cats are the exceptions as no one can care for them properly unless specialized training has taken place and you have like a billion acres of land for them...basically any animal that has not been domesticate over hundreds of years ... leave em alone... )

7. Describe your feelings about maths.

Necessary evil...enough said. 

8. When was the last time you finished a book?

Do audio books count? If so.. in March right before lock down.  Listened to a lot of books on my travels to and from work..   Currently I am able to actually pick up a hard copy and I am working my way through Crazy, Rich Asians.   Good book!

9. What’s a small way that you’ve been kind recently?

All the things I have done recently have just been what is expected of a normal human being with responsibilities so I cant really say.. erm.. made an extra meat loaf for my Dad so I know he is eating well... collected his beer bottles for return cause they just started excepting them again.. 

Started making my husband lunch as he was recalled to work... Do his laundry cause he usually does it for himself...

I haven’t really be out much in the world lately and as I said.. basic stuff. 

10. What new hobby/activity have you always wanted to try?

And got to the bottom and I think I fucked this up... oh well.. lmao.. so on to the questions I was supposed to answer...ooopppsss..  gonna leave the other answers above cause I spent the time to write em.. 

Oooh, and now I have to ask questions…

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  

Falling Lakes aka  Plitvice Lakes National Park  in Croatia cause it looks beautiful and would be the closest thing on Earth to being in a fantasy novel..  

2. Favourite pasta shape?  

No favourite shape.. just spoon sized cause spaghetti is messy

3.What do you need to do everyday to keep your mind and body working well?

Wake up... lmao

4. First ever fandom and why? How old were you?

This is a surprisingly hard question to answer as I have loved many things over the years.. I have always loved cartoons going back as far back as I can remember and later in life comic books and anime  so will answer this by first fanfictions  and first community.... 

Well.. first fanfiction i got hooked on reading was for Sailor Moon..age..erm... high school so like maybe grade 9ish..  At that point I had always loved cartoons but Sailor Moon really sucked me in. 

First I wrote and will never see the light of day... Biker Mice From Mars and/or G.I.Joe...cant rightly remember which came first and I am a huge Snake Eyes fan.  

First posted... DBZ I believe under another name.. and ermm.. no, I wont tell. 

First community I joined... Dragon Ball Z on here in fact.. and within the last few years.   I am still a DBZ fan but I jumped the fandom community wagon and joined up with a bunch of Thundernerds and completely fell down the rabbit hole.

And I am being vague about the age for a reason.. lol   

5.Deserted beach or snazzy night club?

Beach! 100% Sand between the toes,  the sound of the water lapping up the shore.. the smell of the salt in the air.. the sun on my back and my sandals dangling from my finger tips.. ahhhh perfection. 

6. Do you find it easier to talk to people online or offline?

Online.. cause there is security in anonymity. 

7. What do you think is the aim in your life? What do you ultimately want to achieve?

Wow.. talk about a soul baring question.. lmao.. I don’t know.. to be remembered and looked back on kindly.   To be better then those before me and to not make the same mistakes.. to be a good mom to my daughter and to not fuck her up to bad. (I answered this one out of order.. meh)   

8. Coolest Thunderbird

....well this one should be an obvious answer. lol

9. What is your absolute favourite topic to talk about?

My interests.. which are vast and varied. 

10. Do you have an embarrassing story to share?

How I fucked up this questionnaire.. lol 

okay so now for questions to ask,..if I understand this right that is what i am supposed to do now... hmm

1. Favourite dessert.

2. What would you rather...fine dining or eating around a camp fire?

3.  Favourite past time outside of here?

4. If you were a video game character, who would you be? Why?

5. Flight or invisibility? 

6. In the case of a zombie apocalypse what would be your escape plan and what would you do to survive? 

7. If you could go on a road trip anywhere in the world.. where would you go and what car would you be driving? 

8. Who would be in the seat beside you? 

9.  What would you rather... watch a thunderstorm or close the blinds

10. What 10 questions would you come up with if you could ask anyone anything?  (Ya, I so cheated there mu ha ha a ha) 

Feel free to answer.. or not. Open to anybody just copy and paste the last 10 questions.. not the whole thing like I did... oops... cause that would be wrong.. Oh and if you made it all the way down here after this long ass ramble .. GOLD STAR FOR YOU!  :) 

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*

[nadziejastar]

It's funny that Organization Rehash was somehow more treacherous than the first one when part of the idea behind Xehanort putting his heart into all of them was to get around that problem

I know! The way the Seekers of Darkness were handled pissed me off so much! Most of them were ruined. The whole point of Xemnas completing Kingdom Hearts was to put Xehanort’s heart and mind into all the original members so that they had no free will. They would literally become another Xehanort. Being a Nobody was not enough to Nort someone. KH3 got around this in the most lazy way possible by saying that they all just joined the True Organization by choice. How lucky for Xehanort, right? This is a relevant post I’ve done about this subject. I’m actually surprised I haven’t seen more people complaining about this egregious plot hole. I brought it up before on a different forum and some fans would just make the dumbest excuses, I swear. “Saïx only had a small piece of Xehanort’s heart in him!” (LOL.)

Ok, so what difference did it even make then? Why did it even matter that he, along with Xigbar, had yellow eyes and pointy ears all along? Weren’t they supposed to be different from the other members? Also, what’s the point of vessels being “raw material” for the X-Blade? Why was Xehanort conducting mind control experiments? Why go to such lengths to show Axel grieving about how much his best friend had changed, if Xehanort’s heart had literally no significant influence on him? God, even Xemnas was treated more respectfully than Saïx was because of this. I actually liked his dialogue at the end about how being human must take incredible strength. It was one of the most memorable lines in the game for me.

How did Xion ever become a Seeker of Darkness? Her switching sides was laughably easy. Roxas and Xion’s dialogue was just so atrocious. I was embarrassed while watching all the scenes with them. Also, if Saïx was supposed to be the one who brought back Roxas and Xion, why are we supposed to take pleasure in his boss fight again? It was treated like Roxas and Xion were getting revenge and it was supposed to be enjoyable to clobber him. Then Roxas and Xion felt pity for him afterwards. And Roxas even acknowledged that he knew Saïx helped to bring him back before their fight. How did he even know that? Well, because his dialogue was written so that the audience could know. Since all of this was shoehorned in at the last minute, Saïx’s redemption happened off-screen. So Roxas had to fill us in on why he was there. It was all so forced, just like the Subject X info dump. 

The game totally wanted to have its cake and eat it, too. They wanted Saïx to betray Xehanort so he could be Lea’s innocent ice cream-loving childhood friend in the epilogue (which was his intended role in the ending all along). But they still wanted to treat him like a villain for Roxas and Xion to clobber. The problem is that both of those things clash very badly. They’re not compatible with each other in the slightest. You can’t do both. His redemption didn’t feel convincing at all because of this. And his scene at the clock tower just made it seem like he had no excuse for his actions from the previous games. Why the hell is he all friendly NOW when he was previously trying to kill Axel? 

I did see a lot of complaints about how all the villains got “redeemed” at the end. They spent the whole game being evil, then they act all nice to Sora after they’re beaten? Why? Well, it was extremely obvious to me that they were supposed to be possessed.

Their actions would have made perfect sense if Xehanort had simply been controlling them the whole time. Then of course they’d be grateful to Sora for releasing them. A big pillar of darkness gets expelled from them after they’re defeated, then they act totally different. Gee, I wonder why? Larxene actually acted confused after she was beaten. She did NOT act like she was in control of herself prior to this.

Furthermore, once she became aware of herself, she was horrified. She looked like she felt violated. Like she had something done to her without her knowledge or consent. I don’t think for a second that Larxene signed up to be a Seeker of Darkness.

I also found it interesting that she spoke as if she weren’t already that geezer’s heart tank. Once Xehanort’s heart is implanted, it’s supposed to gradually take over the person’s heart. Maybe Sora just needed to defeat members like Larxene, Marluxia, and Luxord. They’d go back to normal afterwards because they were not Norted for that long. They had yellow eyes, but their ears weren’t even pointy.

I also think they became vessels by being turned into Nobodies again, so it made sense that they faded away after their battle. They’d be recompleted. But Terra and Isa were supposed to be different. They needed to have the power of waking used on them because their hearts were lost like a decade ago. And neither of them were Norted as Nobodies, either. Saïx shouldn’t have faded away after his battle.

Marluxia also did not act like he was aware of himself beforehand.

He also said his heart was remembering how to feel. I’m sure he was supposed to have a different backstory than what he has now to explain this.

He was all grateful to Sora after being defeated. This makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever unless he was being totally controlled.

Luxord and Sora were acting like old pals after their battle. Luxord never seemed like a bad guy, anyways. He gave Sora a wild card and then said he’d like to play a game with him. I think Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord were done a tremendous disservice by making it so that they were self-aware for the whole game. But Isa by far came out the worst because of this. He was utterly decimated beyond repair. His whole character revolved around being possessed. That was THE most important thing about him. It was the ONLY thing that could excuse his actions and allow Lea and Isa to go back to being inseparable right after the final battle. Since he was possessed, they didn’t hold back making him as nasty as possible. Now it’s biting them in the ass.

Braig joined Xehanort to wield a Keyblade. And he actually doesn’t fade away after his defeat like the others. I don’t think that was a coincidence. It’s probably because he became Norted as a human. He wasn’t a Nobody during his boss battle. 

I’m also 100% sure it wasn’t a coincidence that he just happened to “pretend” to commit suicide after his defeat. That was no doubt the original end planned for Braig ever since Days and BBS. He was always haunted by the things he did. I think he was especially haunted by what he did to Isa, which was why he always had such a bone to pick with Saïx. If he was a Nobody, then his suicide wouldn’t have even mattered because he’d just be recompleted afterwards, anyways. Sora and Riku’s reaction only made sense if he was fully human when he fell off that ledge.

I will never ever forgive KH3 for its treatment of Isa (and Lea, since Isa was a HUGE part of his character). I’m still heartbroken and angry over it. Isa was treated like a plot device—he only mattered because he brought Lea’s REAL best friends Roxas and Xion back. He wasn’t treated like he mattered as an individual character. He didn’t get a real backstory that showed his pain, how he became Norted or his close relationship with Lea. All this did was make me hate Roxas and Xion in KH3, even though I really liked them in 358/2 Days. It was just so unfair that they got ALL the spotlight at Isa’s expense.

It was always, always implied that Axel had a VERY sad backstory. He was NEVER EVER comic relief. Not at all. He was the most serious character. His canon backstory was a joke for how poorly it explains his behavior in Days and KH2. He was actually an apprentice all along? And suddenly the only thing that mattered to him was two kids that the story went out if its way to show never even came CLOSE to understanding him? 

Not his REAL best friend who became an organization member alongside him and who would understand his suffering? It was heavily implied they were both lab rats. I couldn’t believe Lea even blamed Isa for getting Norted. And apparently all Saïx had to do was admit he was jealous and things are instantly patched up between them? God, it was such a slap in the face as a fan. I felt personally insulted by Isa’s “redemption”.

Now, it was obvious that they tried to limit the amount of physical contact Lea showed Saïx after his defeat. And they also tried to limit the amount of genuine emotion they were allowed to show at all times. This happened on the clock tower, too. Lea wasn’t allowed to cry for his friend. And even when Saïx admitted he was jealous, he HAD to follow it up with something snarky. He wasn’t allowed to bond with Lea in a genuine manner. I noticed all of this right away. It made me laugh to see how stilted their interactions were.

Apparently Saïx was putting on an “act” the whole time because he was afraid to show his true feelings, I guess? They’re just gonna write off all of his past deeds that way, instead of him being ya know…Norted? Wow. And to top it all off, they tried to make Lea and Isa’s whole relationship revolve around some stupid random girl, which pissed me off so freaking much. It definitely came across like KH3 was extremely paranoid that they might seem gay. So they did everything possible to make their relationship lack genuine emotion and intimacy, destroying it in the process. The handling of their subplot went against all the most important themes of the series. It was utterly pathetic.

And yet Lea was still holding Saïx in his arms. And it was still pretty intimate from a physical perspective. In fact, Lea shows more intimacy with Saïx in this one single scene than Axel had with Roxas in all of their moments put together. Guess that’s why they had to throw in all the other stuff. To “balance out” more tender moments like this. 

The way Lea smiled at him is how I always imagined he would look once he finally rescued Isa. They said “See you” (”Mata na” in Japanese) to each other in a pretty intense and personal way. Especially in the Japanese version. Saïx said it so softly he almost whispered it to Lea. This was obviously something pertaining to their original backstory. 

Roxas said “Mata na” to Axel when he was going back to Sora in KH2FM. This made Axel cry. “Mata na” had a LOOOOT more meaning to Axel than it did to Roxas. You see, Roxas was saying it in a casual way, like most would say it. See you later. It was as simple as that. But I think “Mata na” was Lea and Isa’s way of saying they’d see each other again in the next life. Just more evidence that Axel was really crying because he wanted to see Isa and was remembering their promise. Roxas really couldn’t fill the void of Isa. That was the impression I got from that scene.

People probably would have been very accepting of Lea having strong feelings for Isa. But I think Square/Disney were terrified people would be grossed out if Axel had those same feelings for Saïx. KH3 just sent very conflicting messages due to this identity crisis. Lea was holding his arms out like he could still feel him there after he faded away. It looked VERY similar to when Xion faded away in Roxas’s arms. This demonstrated that Lea had extremely powerful feelings for Isa. The thing is, this was never properly SHOWN in the story. There was all of this implied intimacy between them, but it wasn’t able to be explored in-depth after BBSV2 got axed. And so, KH3 wasn’t allowed to show them being too close because there wasn’t enough time to properly differentiate Isa from Saïx. 

And this ruined their relationship. We saw almost nothing to understand why Lea would feel so attached to Saïx or why Isa changed so much since they were kids. All we saw was Saïx being evil and a very short scene of them as kids in BBS trying to sneak into the castle. The audience has little reason to care about this relationship or empathize with Lea’s affections for Isa. They didn’t get enough development. There was no way that Saïx was written as Axel’s best friend if THIS was how the resolution was going to be handled. Their story was incomplete. The way it was handled in KH3 was a complete and utter joke. 

[bigskydreaming]

So this is kinda a Bobby Drake post but its also kinda not because its more of a just in general musing on characterization and what distinguishes between a character being written as in character and as wildly OOC. So its actually rooted in a lot of Dick Grayson thoughts I’ve been having lately, as well as being relevant to some Scott McCall musings.

Its a Martha Stewart Home Living pot-pourri thingamabob! Something for everyone! I think. I don’t really know what pot-pourri is or even how to spell it and I don’t really know why the fuck I pulled a Martha Stewart reference out of my ass in the year 2019, like, none of these things are like any other thought I’ve ever had ever, like...who am I right now. Whatever. Shut up. My metaphor absolutely works and this isn’t just my brain on sleep deprivation. I like, totally get symbolism.

OKAY! RIGHT! ACTUAL CONTENT OF THIS POST:

So, the only adaptation Iceman’s had just a very minimal presence in was the 90s X-Men animated series. He only appeared in one episode, in one of the later seasons, and most people talk about that episode as though Bobby was wildly out of character because he told no jokes, yelled quite a bit, and told Scott to fuck off a lot, which is also what he did in a flashback scene to when he quit being an X-Man years before the show started, and retired from the hero life to settle down with Lorna.

Except the thing is, that episode is actually WAY more true to his overall characterization than Frosted Flakes in the X-films ever was, or also, pretty much any time Bendis writes him or other writers use him in similar ways to him - like that thing where Bobby stands in the background and says one-liners and also occasionally does something with his powers whilst monologuing about what he’s doing and how.

Because Bobby absolutely is that cheerful, determinedly optimistic heart of the team at a lot of times (sound familiar, lol)....but like.....he also historically has a decades long history of being written as the team hothead when for instance its just the original five and there’s not one of the X-Men’s other resident hotheads available to fill the role of the impulsive troublemaker who second guesses Scott’s decisions in order to make Scott actually think things through. Like the thing in the cartoon about Bobby quitting the team and storming off because he was fed up with Xavier constantly lying to them all and keeping secrets from them - that was lifted STRAIGHT from the original run of the comics, where he did precisely that, for precisely those reasons. Bobby was actually the X-character calling Xavier on his bullshit long before Scott started being written that way, ironically enough....

In fact, during Simonson’s original X-Factor run, it was pretty much ALWAYS Bobby filling that role going against the grain and questioning their official decisions and making everyone else think things through. Because at the time, Warren was pretty much entirely focused on his Archangel issues, Hank was dealing with his continuing physical mutations, that also had a side effect for awhile of giving him a host of mental health issues that interfered with his ability to reason through things as intelligently as he usually did....

And Scott and Jean were of course constantly getting bombarded with Sinister drama and trying to raise their kid except oh no, an evil fox person from a thousand years in the future has kidnapped him and infected him with Minecraft and now this giant asshole who looks like the bastard lovechild of a Transformer and a Smurf is quoting the Book of Revelations like he’s standing on a NY street corner wearing a sandwich board and ringing a damn bell. They all had shit going on, so it was actually Bobby who the kids staying with them (Rictor and Tabitha and Rusty and Skids and Wiz Kid) usually went to first when they had problems or like, Julio got kidnapped again or shit like that. 

Point being, there are many many instances and entire runs of different books between the 60s and the early 90s where Bobby is a happy go lucky jokester, its true....but he’s equally depicted as this guy who runs pretty hot and he’s not going to blindly follow orders that sound fucking dumb to him, he’s going to ask Scott to break it down for them or go back to the drawing board because “why are we pretending to hunt other mutants again and just leaning into the anti-mutant hysteria? Guys? Is it just me or does this all seem really fucking dumb and counter productive?” Like he makes jokes when he can afford to spare the spoons for that, but he knows how to be serious when the occasion calls for it.

Its just after the big Blue/Gold relaunch in the 90s, writers just....stopped writing him this way. But given that the cartoon was written and aired....in the early 90s....those previous decades of Bobby being written this way WERE the source material they were going off of at the time.

So that character most fans EXPECTED to see when they watched the cartoon in later years and saw he was guest-starring in an episode - like yeah, that is very much his characterization and always was.....on his good days. But like everyone (and certain other faves of mine, lmao) he has his bad days too, and guess what counts as a bad day? 

Coming home to find out that secret government agents have kidnapped your girlfriend and when tracking her down to rescue her discovering that no, wait, actually she was not kidnapped at all, that was a job offer and she accepted and just....did not tell her live-in boyfriend that hey, I’m gonna go be a superhero again but like...for the government which is completely the opposite but whatever, look the point is don’t freak out or think I was abducted or anything because that’s definitely not what happened here, I just dumped you and started dating my new team leader Havok and forgot where I put my Dear John letter. (You want to talk OOC in that episode, it wasn’t Bobby that was unrecognizable, it was Lorna).

But like, that’s a BAD FUCKING DAY. That’s a day where it would be utterly bizarre for Bobby to be acting the way he often does, like he doesn’t have a care in the world, trying to make light of situations and buoy spirits, which he can AFFORD to do, because usually he is not the central focus of big team-encompassing plots....its rarely him tied directly into the angst of the story, freeing him up to be the guy who focuses on making sure the morale of the teammates more directly affected by the angst doesn’t like....dip into the negative integers.

But you just flat out can’t do that with him in a story where THE ANGST IS ALL HIS, its CENTERED around him, because if he was right in the thick of all that and wisecracking and acting like this was any other mission, its no big deal....he’s going to come across as the world’s most immature, shallow and emotionally insensitive dumbass, because there is a time and a place for that, and that time and that place is not when you think your girlfriend has been abducted by the government and then find out that nah dude, she just disinvited herself from your relationships, whoops, sux2BU.

So if you take any given scene from that one episode and hold it up for comparison against say, a comic written in the last five years where he himself has relatively low stakes in whatever adventure he’s having.....those two characterizations are going to look COMPLETELY at odds. Like one or the other has to be WILDLY OOC because like, the two depictions seem like they’re depicting two entirely different men.

But they’re not. They’re just depicting one man in two entirely different contexts. We all take our cues from the situations we find ourselves in and our physical and social location and environments. We’re all totally different people on our best days than we are on our worst days. But these are all just....different facets of any given individual because we’re all fucking complicated little contrarians who often don’t even make sense to OURSELVES let alone outside perspectives. We each contain freaking multitudes. We are a million different things over the course of our life, and snapshots taken twenty years apart often are gonna look like we got a personality transplant between now and then...because we’re not MEANT to skip over twenty years of in between continuity and act like that doesn’t make all the difference in the world. The journey IS just as important as the destination.

And I guess the point of this particular post is that....IMO the key to strong characterization is recognizing that any character can theoretically be capable of just about any response or action or choice....in the right situation. None of us, no matter how well we know ourselves, can actually say we know for sure how we would react if suddenly dropped in a situation we had zero prior experience with. So I think where a lot of writers get turned around when writing characterizations is they go into a plot, an outline, a narrative, with their mind focused on the characterization they want to show, the way they want to depict a certain character.....instead of letting the situation, the scene, the narrative, inform that character’s actual characterization in this specific context.

If you try and FORCE a certain behavior with a character because you’ve rounded up and that’s the over-all characterization you personally enjoy best with that character, so that’s what you want to write....without fully taking into consideration how the stressors and other aspects of the situation they’re in that are UNIQUE to that situation, that are things they perhaps haven’t encountered before or dealt with often...and thus are things that would be MOST likely to prompt or provoke an unusual or more extreme response from a character than they would normally show in most other situations....that’s when characters get bent out of shape and end up most OOC, I think.

Because writers try and squeeze specific attitudes or reactions or behaviors out of characters caught up in a scenario where those attitudes are just....not appropriate responses to what’s happening around them. And thus they end up coming across as 2-Dimensional, more aggressive than the actual situation calls for, or more immature than the gravity of the actual situation warrants...they end up coming across like they’re a name card placed on top of a situation rather than a character immersed in all three dimensions and existing fully as PART of the situation...because the writers aren’t LETTING them. They’re not letting the character actually engage with what’s happening, react in the moment, have an unexpected response....because they’ve already decided what they want the character’s overall ‘feel’ to be before the actual situations were even written in the first place. 

And written like that, a character is never going to feel real. They’re always going to feel like an afterthought, like something hastily thrown on top of the otherwise completed project as a last minute addition you want to at least make sure is THERE because it just occurred to you that crap, I totally forgot to include this totally crucial element, and you don’t want it to seem like you just completely forgot that thing existed.....but that slapdash shot taken from halfway across the court when the buzzer’s already started ringing and you’re late to school with absolutely no more time to make changes...like....its still usually not gonna do anything to help improve your grade, because just because you threw it in at the very last possible second doesn’t mean that its presence is actually contributing anything to the entire project...especially not when compared to all the other elements you took your time thinking through and carefully integrating into their proper places.

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x01

The waiting, the anticipation, the trying not to pass out every time the Younger team posted some ridiculously next-level pic or gif or clip...it was all leading to this, the season 6 premiere! The sheer joy and elation I feel from seeing new footage and new moments for these characters takes me by surprise every single time. I am perpetually thirsty for this show and there is not much I delight in more than drinking it all in as it unfolds. “Big Day” most certainly did not disappoint, it was a fast paced sensory overload and didn’t hold back in setting a whole lot in motion straight out of the gate.

What is interesting to me is that so much of this first ep had been included in the official trailer and other promos, so in a way I felt like I’d seen lots of it but also it was all new because I didn’t have the full context of any of the bits. Take the opening scene, for example - we had seen part of it in the First Look table read, part in the trailer, part in other promos, yet there I was trying not to catch on fire in those first two minutes because it was h.o.t. I am a sucker for a coming-up-behind-the-person-while-they-get-ready-in-the-mirror scenario and this season opener raised it a notch by putting Charles in a pair of boxer briefs, you know, to emphasise the morning situation (and the abs situation lbh) while giving us the dual angle of the mirror and the foreground just to make sure we could see all that was happening (noted and appreciated). My brain is still not computing Liza and Charles as an actual out-in-the-open couple so the whole ‘I know why your neck is sore’, ‘as long as you’re in [the bed] when she gets home’ (this talking in the third person thing they’ve had going on since that fountain scene in the finale = YES), chatting about the day ahead, intermittent kisses, arms wrapped around each other...I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yes, very good scene, 5/5 would recommend.

I am thrilled at the way Liza just dropped the ‘love you’ so naturally, it was exactly the right way for that to happen considering how long these characters have been doing their dance. Dare I say that I loved it even more when Liza told Kelsey she loves her in the office and Kelsey said ‘aw, you didn’t even run away’. Lol. Such a great tie in and I am really feeling the Kelsey/Liza dynamic in this ep right from the get-go. From the moment they’re walking up to the office together, the support they’re showing for one another is so evident and adding Lauren into the work mix is going to be fab. Lauren may have only been in the ep for about a minute but as always she makes such an impression, me and my English degree feel seen. I cannot WAIT to see her relationship with Diana grow and also, did I miss Zommy being a thing? Is this Zaddy but flipped? 

As always Liza has her relentless belief in Kelsey, but it is so nice to see Kelsey stepping up to reassure Liza that they will make sure the company is stronger than ever and showing that she respects Liza’s relationship and is also supporting her in her new role. I really hope this continues throughout the season and I appreciate that the writers may be responding to the somewhat lopsided friendship we were seeing last season. I enjoyed both conversations about clearing desks way more than I probably should have and I am as happy as Liza that she finally has an office with an actual door that closes (p.s. here’s hoping these very specific references are alluding to future door shutting and clearing desks because I am trash and I know you’re all thinking it).  

Of course we couldn’t have Liza getting too settled before Quinn appeared to drop the bomb that Page Six are running the blind item with her age printed as 28 and that the entire Charles stepping down so there would be no more lies/celebrating Liza rally was only ever really going to be on Quinn’s terms. I was SO hoping that Quinn and Liza could become friends. I saw such potential in the finale, however I also see that this stays consistent with the ruthless business woman we were presented with, who is only in it for herself. The way Quinn says ‘let’s not make this a pity party about ageism’ with such contempt is a stark contrast to the ‘ageism is wrong’ mantra from the last time we saw the character and I actually gasped. Laura Benanti is going to play this evil turn so well that I am now officially excited to see Quinn’s true colours, I love a deliciously dodgy character (shout out to C.Sussman the real MVP). I do wonder if the whole glass cliff phenomenon we learn about during this ep is actually going to end up being Quinn’s M.O, especially after the finance meeting when she told Kelsey to enjoy making cuts before going to get on a plane *insert shrug emoji*. The justification for keeping the age thing on the DL was legit, Kelsey’s ewww at the idea of banging the boss was so in character and props to Liza being all ‘excuse you and your ewww’, but just in case we needed convincing that people would assume the 28 year old in the story was Kelsey, enter Diana. 

It had all started so well, the day that is. I really liked how Diana was supporting Kelsey as the boss when she first arrived at work and Kelsey saying she wanted to talk to Diana about hiring Lauren, a glimpse at the way these women are going to work together. But let’s put all that on hold while we recount the shattering of my heart into a million pieces. First of all, Diana’s immediate assumption that Kelsey ‘bottomed her way to the very top’ (that was brutal and I think all our jaws were with Quinn’s in hitting the floor in that moment), followed of course by Liza running after her, Diana not wanting to hear any excuses for Kelsey and the great office reveal as Liza tells a room full of colleagues, who may or may not have all started that day because who are all these people and what do they do, that she is the 28 year old associate having an affair with the publisher. It was momentarily comical until Liza turned to see Diana’s expression. My heart hurts even thinking about the scene that follows as Diana reassures Liza that it’s a story as old as time, the assistant sleeping with the boss, but as Liza continues to try and explain you can actually see Diana shutting down. Miriam Shor deserves every freaking award for the way she conveyed so much just with her eyes. 

Diana meeting with Redmond (what a treat having him in the premiere too!) absolutely epitomized how much value this show can get out of a short scene that’s well written and wonderfully acted. The entire exchange, from Redmond wanting the goss on the regime change (I love that he wasn’t even available but couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get some dirt and asking whether Kelsey’s feet touch the floor in Charles’ chair, all the LOLs), to Diana asking him to put the word out she’s looking for a new job (one of my fave lines of the ep, ‘oh Redmond, if I wanted it kept quiet I would’ve never come to you’) was an utter joy to watch. Despite the brevity, this scene captured the real feel of Younger for me, the setting, the conversation, something about it just oozed that essence that has been running through the entire series, almost like a familiarity that re-orientated me amidst all the newness I was trying to get my head around.

There was something so domestic, in the best possible way, about Enzo opening the door to Kelsey and Liza and I adore that they went to Diana’s apartment in the hope of finding her. Kelsey being warned by Zane not to lose Diana was a really surprising but lovely moment, I enjoyed their scene a lot; Kelsey admitting how hard the job is, Zane being open about trying to figure out his next move (we now know he’s not at Chicky...lol the comment about his dicky), I see the set up and it’ll be interesting to see how their relationship will play out this season. So for now Zane is being a friend to Kelsey and it was thanks to this that she and Liza were able to find Diana at Marie’s Crisis and we were blessed with the most surreal Younger experience to date, a rendition of 9 to 5 which we’d already seen prior to the ep but I will happily watch as many times as is offered. And while the Dolly tribute was an absolute treat, the part of this scene that lingered with me was prior to that, when Kelsey and Liza first find Diana and Kelsey tells her how much she respects and values her (my Kelsey love in this moment is possibly the realest it’s ever been). 

As Diana explains that the problem is she’s not a millennial, my fragile heart actually broke. I understand on the one hand that Liza revealing her age in this moment may have been too much on top of the Charles news, but the other part of me wanted and needed her to take Diana, sit her down and tell her the whole damn truth. I said it at the end of last season but at this point, Diana not knowing about Liza’s age feels cruel. I understand Liza not being able to declare her real age publicly but there’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t tell Diana. I am hoping that she will find out in the very near future because I feel like Diana Trout and Liza Miller both openly in their 40′s will be next level and I need this friendship please and thank you.

You know another friendship between people in their 40′s I love? Bob and Charles. So imagine my delight when this scene started and we have Bob’s tiny mind being blown as he discovers that the woman Charles has been speaking to him about for the past 4 years is actually Liza, ‘the yodelling mom’. So we have Bob giving Charles some real talk and the mirroring of Charles starting over to Liza way back in season 1 is duly noted, but if you look up Swoon-worthy in any dictionary you will in fact see a clip of Charles saying ‘I can’t explain it, when I’m with her I feel...free’ playing on a continuous loop. This show and these lines I swear, RIP: Me.

As I’m sure you have gathered, this ramble is not following the chronology of the episode, so I want to jump back to a scene that I have been waiting for with a ridiculous amount of excitement and that is the Maggie and Charles meeting. I cannot explain why, but my desire to see these two meet has been strong and unrelenting and the fact Charles wandered into the lounge with his shirt open and completely unaware Maggie was there was everything I didn’t know I wanted. I appreciated Maggie’s appreciation of the male form but boy she sure didn’t waste any time getting her grill on. I do love how ferociously protective of Liza Maggie is and I get that there is clearly the need to set in motion a potentially ominous foreshadowing, but truthfully, this scene felt too rushed to me. Like, what happened after Maggie said ‘no-one ever does it on purpose’? Did they sit there awkwardly in silence? Did Charles ask Maggie if she wanted to do the quiz in the newspaper when he got to that part in his cover to cover read? I wanted more but I also felt a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a little more lightness in their first meeting. I have no doubt we will see more of them interacting, so hopefully we will still get Maggie and Charles bonding and becoming friends.

Maggie’s friendship with Josh is still one I really enjoy and the conversation about getting a paternity test was a nice way to bring Josh, Maggie and Liza together, bonus points to the use of the phone assistant to create that great ‘things to do in Wililamsburg’ moment. I have to say, Josh and Clare’s conversation when she was getting him up to speed and he felt the baby kick was lovely. His joy and disbelief was palpable. I found the whole scene to be really beautiful and I am one of the people who was always a fan of Clare, I really liked her and Josh together and I still feel like they have a really great, natural chemistry. I also felt like Josh being the dad was never really a question because I simply cannot see the point in bringing back pregnant Clare if he wasn’t, but Kelsey’s ‘holy shit’ reaction was great as was the conversation that followed between him and Liza. 

I really enjoyed their banter about Liza being a baby whisperer and her reassurance that ‘I got you’, I desperately want to see this relationship as a true friendship because the potential is there. But I gotta say, I’m a bit conflicted about Josh bringing up the fact that they broke up because Liza didn’t want him to give up having a kid and suggesting that they could be together if she wasn’t with someone else. I appreciate that it is realistic that this news would make both Josh and Liza reflect on their relationship given that having a baby was a significant reason for them breaking up, but bringing it up then and the implication that if Liza was single now they could be together just sort of ruined the moment for me. And it’s nothing to do with me wanting Liza with Charles, regardless of who she ends up with or without, for me this is how trying to keep love triangles alive in tv shows starts disrupting character and story growth and progression. 

I wanted to hear Josh talk about feeling the baby kick and for Liza to tell him some funny anecdote about when she was pregnant and was kicked in the bladder and peed herself in the supermarket. I realised I was feeling a bit resentful that I got pulled from this moment of enjoying the current place their relationship is at and back into this whole ‘look what we could have been’ because it feels tiresome and stagnant, but I’m sure there are many fans who feel differently. I liked the echo of Josh’s ‘timing’ by Liza. I felt like hers had a different meaning, that timing was bigger than just their singledom and parenthood aligning. I still overall really enjoyed their interaction, and I am looking forward to seeing how this relationship moves forward this season.

Liza bringing Diana coffee was the perfect way to show that things will be ok between them (until the age reveal that is...and yes Diana, I agree re: Liza’s outfit) and I’m quite sure that necklace Diana is wearing can be seen from space. I do like it when it feels like the balance has been restored and this was only made better by the phone call from Maggie to share the new bed arrival news. I feel like Maggie might be warming up to Charles after this.

Full disclaimer: this part will contain gushing. I tell you, this end scene of the ep was just too much. The expression on Charles’ face when he opened the door to Liza, ugh GUSH, such pure delight to see her and her joy in receiving the gift that she thought was nothing more than a joke, GUSH. Seeing these two so candid and giddy is everything. How far our Liza has come, from when we first met her and she was worried she’d forgotten how to have sex to now unabashedly telling the man she’s with that she thought she’d spend her lunch time thanking him in person (there are so many dirty puns I wanna use here but I shall refrain). I love their continued openness as she acknowledges missing Charles at work and he misses being there, but the way Charles’ reciprocation of Liza’s ‘love you’ from the start of the ep is delivered, I may have actually melted. As in, I am now liquid goo. Liza’s reaction as she asks ‘did you just tell me you love me?’ is divine and while we’ve heard the ‘I’ve pretty much had feelings for you for 16 years’ in numerous promos, Charles’ ‘long enough to know’ was what led to any remnants of my heart not shattered by the Diana ordeal to explode.

Zane’s interruption is only acceptable because Liza’s ‘hello’ is so damn hilarious and I love that they are two grown ass adults who were busted making out. And while I know that we are left with a lingering sense that Charles and Zane are up to something potentially secretive/shady as Liza leaves, I am HERE for Charles and Zane working together. I love the idea of Charles and Zane vs. Liza and Kelsey. I have no idea if that is where this is going, but I do know this smells of a set up for some serious DRAH-MAH and ngl, I am in 100%.

So all in all, what a cracking start to season 6. SO much going on, I think we’re in for a wild one. 

[darkfire1220]

Godzilla: King of the Monsters SPOILER Review!

WARNING! SPOILERS BELOW! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS YET, GO AWAY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I made a post just yesterday defending Godzilla: King of the Monsters from the harsh criticism the film has received since it’s release over the weekend. I stand by what I said: I think the critical reviews have really hurt the film’s reception in an extremely negative and undeserved way. Now, that’s not to say the film is a perfect one! It has its positives and negatives, and I’m going to go in-depth into them in this review. I’m also going to be making theater experience comparisons to other movies I’ve seen in the past to help you understand where this film falls under my spectrum. This is absolutely my sole opinion, but I just want to clear some of the air and really give everyone my thoughts on this film.

I’ve gotten to see the film twice now, the first on opening night, and the second about five hours ago. The first time I went in as a huge Kaiju nerd, excited and anticipating the film which I hoped would be the blockbuster of the summer. I’d even go so far as to say that I was more hyped for this than Avengers: Endgame. I watched Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster, Kong: Skull Island, and Godzilla 2014 prior to going to see this movie. I was prepared to witness glory incarnate. 

And I did. Can confirm, my mind was blown. I walked out of that first showing with a stupidly huge grin, possibilities whirling in my mind, and a fierce excitement to see it again. We got a bunch of easter eggs in addition to seeing some of my favorite Kaiju on the American big screen for the first time. I got everything I wanted and I felt very positive about it all.

Godzilla and Ghidorah OWN this movie. Not only did I get way more Godzilla than in 2014, but I got to see Ghidorah shine. That dragon is such a savage, showing every bit of maliciousness he’s known for and even when Godzilla gets juiced up towards the end of the film, he takes every hit thrown at him and pays it back. This Ghidorah takes no bullshit from anybody. He deals it out, and he deals it out with extreme prejudice. Everything from his design, sound effects, the unique behavior and interaction between his three heads (I LOVED that, btw) is so goddamn good and I can’t express enough how much you should go see the movie if only to see the kaiju do their things. 

Now Rodan, my boy Rodan! You were once one of the goofiest looking Kaiju I’d ever set eyes on, but my god you got a makeover in this movie. Legendary’s Rodan is a monster in the skies, and you can see that without any trouble. When the planes start to fire missiles at him, he shrugs it off and seems to be more annoyed than anything. Actually, he kind of just plays cat-and-mouse with the jets when he’s pursuing the Argo (The big jet, kind of like a stealth bomber. My dad would disown me for just calling it that because he works in aerospace XD) and only when they completely surround him does he eventually get fed up with the jets and executes a mean barrel roll to essentially bitch-slap all of them (yes, all of them- he kills the entire squad) out of the sky. That was an awesome shot. 

Last but certainly not least, Mothra. This incarnation of Mothra is by far the most aggressive, but still retains a lot of the classic kaiju features. She’s beautiful to see and when they started playing her music theme I got so excited. This Mothra also has a few tricks up her sleeve! I was very, very surprised when she whipped out a stinger of all things! But she showed a lot of loyalty to Godzilla in protecting him from Ghidorah and eventually transferring her power to him after Ghidorah kills her (of course she dies, it’s Mothra :(  BUT there’s another egg in the end-credits, so maybe we’ll get more Mothra in Godzilla vs Kong!). Another detail I didn’t actually notice the first time watching this was when Godzilla went Thermonuclear and blasted Ghidorah with atomic pulses, the pulses sounded like Mothra’s cries and gave off patterns similar to Mothra’s wings. I thought that was very cool!

Also, one thing I wasn’t expecting to enjoy were all the kaiju Legendary made up for the movie. As much as I would have loved to see more Toho kaiju, (I wanted Anguirus so bad lol) the designs for these kaiju, brief as they were, were awesome to see. We got a number of new minor kaiju with their own unique designs, ranging from the mammoth-ground sloth hybrid Behemoth, the mountain-backed Methuselah, and even a massive MUTO similar to the ones from the 2014 film, but with her own unique features. I’ve heard some people call this one MUTO Prime, but I think that might be a reference to a Godzilla comic that was released not too long ago. I think it was called Godzilla: Aftershock. Don’t take my word on that, I haven’t gotten to check it out yet. I could be totally wrong. 

But anyways, I loved all of my kaiju, even the new ones! I’d love to see more of them, even if it’s just little bits and pieces!

Onto the human characters. Yes, your favorite part of this review. Yes, I am being absolutely sarcastic, but to be fair, I personally think the actors did a great job. Of course it’s a Godzilla movie and the plot line is a little wacky, but everyone from Millie Bobby Brown to Kyle Chandler (and especially Ken Watanabe) played their characters very well. The acting was spot-on. I couldn’t really bring myself to truly hate any of the characters. There were some questionable choices, yes, but the actors themselves played their characters very well, I think. 

Now of course, I’ve had time to sober up a bit and the second showing let me think a bit more about the movie and its problems. I’ve boiled it down to three main issues: First, the humans take up too much time. Two, I wanted more kaiju (specifically Mothra). And three, the fights kept getting cut in the middle of the action.

King of the Monsters struggles with the same issue that Godzilla 2014 had in that it actually doesn’t have enough monsters. I’m not talking about monster battles- it has that in spades, (though I found myself wanting even more of that, as well) but I found it lacking when it came to some of the kaiju themselves. The first half of the movie rolls out exactly like I wanted. It starts with a bang and just immediately starts to move. It’s fast, catastrophic, and visually stunning. 

That visual awe, by the way, is something that is maintained throughout the entirety of the film. If you want to see some of the most amazing shots you’ve ever seen in a movie, then this is the one. 

The problem with King of the Monsters starts mostly in the second half of the film, just after King Ghidorah rises from the ocean victorious in his latest battle against Godzilla. At this point, the film slows down and focuses far, far too much on the people. We know that the Titans are rampaging around the world, but we don’t see much of them. Even Ghidorah and Rodan (the latter of whom submits to Ghidorah’s authority after getting his ass beat) aren’t given much screen time to show what they get up to, which apparently flying over to Washington D.C and turning it into Ghidorah’s personal crib.

I would have LOVED to see Ghidorah and Rodan fly up to the capital and basically lay waste to the place, if only to add to their danger factors. They both present an immense threat, but it feels a bit subverted given how little screen time they have together while Rodan is under Ghidorah’s authority. 

But we slowed down and focused on the people, who were sent on a mission to heal Godzilla after the Oxygen Destroyer missile almost killed him. Granted, that is important, but it felt too stretched out for me to really enjoy it. I would have liked to see Mothra partaking more in helping Godzilla, especially since she gets so little screen time in the movie. 

That’s one of my biggest nitpicks as I stated before- I didn’t get nearly enough Mothra. We actually got more Rodan than we did Mothra. Don’t get me wrong, Rodan is one of my favorite Kaiju and this movie scales his baddassery level up so much, but I NEEDED more Mothra to really make the movie work better. Her design is gorgeous and her brief participation in the final battle is fine, but I wanted MORE of her. More of Mothra interacting with the people, with Godzilla, and with Madison (Millie Bobbie Brown).

Just more of Mothra. For a kaiju that plays such a key role in rebelling against Ghidorah’s Alpha status and protecting Godzilla, she doesn’t get remotely enough screen time. 

But let’s get back on track. The movie slowed down after the battle in Mexico concluded and Ghidorah became the Alpha kaiju. And in this, I felt in my second viewing, is really where the crux of the problem lies. Some of the human actions were very necessary and provided the meat of the plot, but a lot of the fat could have been cut out and replaced with kaiju instead. 

The scene with Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Godzilla was masterfully done, though. For those of you who aren’t diehard kaiju fans, Serizawa was the scientist way back in the original 50′s Godzilla films that killed Godzilla with the oxygen destroyer. In this movie, Ken Watanabe’s character, who is also named Serizawa, sacrifices himself to save Godzilla by detonating a nuclear bomb beside the Titan, which helps him recover his radioactive life force. 

“Goodbye, old friend.”

There’s something tragically sad about that quote and it was the most powerful moment in the film for me. Not just because it pays homage to the original Serizawa character, but because that really takes you back to the original Godzilla roots, when the kaiju was used as a metaphor for nuclear devastation. Serizawa is of Japanese origin and his father was killed by the bomb in Hiroshima (in the storyline). He sacrifices himself to save Godzilla and is killed by the nuclear bomb they use to jump-start the Titan. That echoes hard and reminded me where Godzilla came from in the first place. 

Godzilla gets juiced by the nuclear bomb and goes on the hunt to track down and slaughter Ghidorah once and for all. Cue one of the most epic monster fights you’ll ever see on the big screen...or it would have been, if they didn’t cut away every few seconds to focus on the people. It’s this repetitive sequence in the film that hurts its score the most for me. I don’t care about the people scrambling on the ground, or at least I don’t care enough to want to focus on them when Godzilla, Ghidorah, Rodan, and Mothra are scrapping in the background. 

Like hello??? Can I look at THAT please??? More, please!!! 

What action sequences we do get are great, but god they would have been so much more satisfying and powerful if we just got to see the kaiju duking it out while the humans scrambled in the background, and not the other way around. 

Walking out of the theater this time, I felt like I stated before- I didn’t get enough kaiju, or at least the kaiju I did get kept getting cut off by human nonsense. I still enjoyed it, absolutely, because for me, the pros of the film outweigh the cons. I got to see my favorite kaiju duke it out amidst tolerable human actors with CGI that Toho couldn’t have even dreamed of seeing back in the day. I got my Godzilla movie, and while it wasn’t perfect, I liked what I liked more than I hated what I didn’t. 

To put this in comparison, I think this film falls into a healthy theater experience, but not an outstanding one. For example, I am a Jurassic Park nut, and when Jurassic World came out, I saw that movie more times than I can even count. Every opportunity I could have to go see it, I saw it. I think I saw that movie in the theater something like eight times? Not even a joke, I saw it that much. I loved it so much. That was probably my favorite theater experience ever. King of the Monsters makes me want to go see it again and again, (even now, after seeing it twice!) but maybe I’ll refrain from seeing it quite that much lol. 

But it doesn’t deserve to be thrashed with criticism the way it is. Another example, my most negative theater experience, is when I went to go see The Last Jedi. Oh my god. Now THAT movie made me wish the new trilogy had never happened, and I love Star Wars. Even in my first viewing of The Last Jedi, I walked out of that theater with two of my friends (both of them hardcore Star Wars fans) and we all said out loud, “What the fuck was that garbage?” 

Oh my god we hated that film, but we went to go see it twice regardless because that’s what we do to really determine how much we like or hate a film. The first time is for initial reactions as fans, the second time we go see a film to be more perceptive about it. And The Last Jedi sucked even more the second time, which is why I will never touch that movie ever again. I could go in-depth about it, but that’s not what this review is about. This was simply an example to compare King of the Monsters to. 

If I had had the kind of reaction to the film that I did with The Last Jedi, I would absolutely understand the box office numbers it is currently being pounded with, but I didn’t have that reaction. I loved the movie both times I went to go see it and for the life of my I can’t fathom why it’s receiving so much heat. This film is pieced together BETTER than that horrifying Star Wars movie, for god’s sake, but it’s doing so much worse. Let that sink in for a second. A Godzilla movie’s plot is pieced better than a Star Wars movie. Will wonders never cease?

All in all, I think King of the Monsters is a sold 7.5/10. It’s not perfect and it has its problems, but I think it’s a solid entry into the kaiju franchise, and at this point I’m just praying that the negativity it’s receiving doesn’t hurt the Legendary Monsterverse later on down the line. I want to see more Godzilla movies after Kong vs Godzilla, thank you very much! 

Whew, that was a lot to write. Anyways, my final advice to anyone thinking about going to see it is to just go take a crack at it in the theaters. I can understand why people didn’t like some parts of the film, but I found the positives outweighed the negatives. Long live the King!

[lesbeet]

long post ahead

ive been thinking nonstop about the possibility of me having adhd since my sister and her boyfriend brought it up to me last week (i’m FINALLY seeing my therapist today so we can talk about it) and i’ve been doing a lot of research and i found the howtoadhd channel on youtube

and literally the number of times in the past 2 hours alone that i’ve teared up or started legitimately crying because of how much i relate to things that these videos are saying is ridiculous, like some of them are word-for-word things i’ve said that i had NO inkling of an idea could be related to adhd

like this one video of this guy who was diagnosed at 43 and said that prior to his diagnosis he had just accepted that he would feel dissatisfied for his whole life, that he would never feel content, i’ve been saying that for YEARS and just was resigned to it and chalked it up solely to my depression

and just like. having been able to do well in school as a kid but constantly being told that i’m “not living up to [my] potential” and now that i’m in my early 20s and my intelligence can’t compensate for like....not being able to regulate my emotions and not being able to organize my life and not being able to motivate myself to do things, which is supposedly why a number of people get diagnosed around this time, because metrics for success are different in adulthood (you can’t just take a test and rely on being smart to compensate for all the other problems), and i was always just. thinking that i fucked up and wasted my life through laziness or whatever the case may be

i’ve always considered myself to be “crafty” and “resourceful” in the sense that i may not go about doing things in the typical way but i can almost always find a way to accomplish what i need accomplished, even if it’s unconventional -- apparently that’s common with adhd too! like i’ll say “oh i couldn’t figure out how to do [x] so i did [y and z]” and someone will be like “why didn’t you just do [thing everyone else does]” and usually i either couldn’t figure out how, or it didn’t occur to me, and my way was weird and unconventional, but it worked for me!

and then of course i’m just recognizing all these signs that have always been there that i either didn’t notice or attributed to other things -- i’ve been trying to observe the way my attention functions this week and literally i space out and miss things SO much more often than i ever realized, like i miss so much information because i’ve drifted off. or i get really stuck on things in conversations and even after everyone else has moved on i have this urge to bring it back so i can say that last thing i’ve been rehearsing over and over for the past 5 minutes so i didn’t forget it, and now it’s in my head and everyone is talking about something else and it’s SO inconsequential but i have to forcibly drag myself away from whatever the thing is (yesterday my sister and her friend and i were talking about early 2000′s fashion and i wanted to make a comment about wearing ugly scarves as belts and they saw a dog and moved on to talking about cute things our dogs have done and i just couldn’t stop thinking about the scarves as belts thing for like 10 minutes until i just had to sigh and be like...well i can’t bring that up again now)

when i was younger i would rush through tests so i could go back to whatever book i was reading and i just thought it was a silly quirk like “oh i just like to read lol” but i realized i still do similar things -- if i’m reading a book or watching a show or working on something, THAT is what i’m doing. anything else, whether it’s work or sleep or eating or hanging out with a friend or fulfilling any sort of responsibility? that’s a break from the thing i’m doing. if i’m reading a book, even if it’s the 3rd time i’m rereading harry potter for the year, for example, then in my head, i’m reading harry potter. i have to go to work all day but then i can read harry potter. all i’m doing is thinking about reading harry potter. i rush through my responsibilities so i can go BACK to reading harry potter, because that’s what i’m doing and anything else is just taking a break from reading harry potter. (you see how this can negatively affect the accomplishment/fulfillment of important tasks and responsibilities)

and my sister has pointed out things that i didn’t really notice, like she said it’s really difficult to hold a conversation with me when i’m excited about something because i can’t calm down enough to let the other person talk. and i’ve always known that i tend to finish peoples’ sentences for them during conversations, which i always thought was a way of showing that i’m listening! but ive realized it’s actually that, if i already know what you’re going to say, and you’re saying it too slowly, i get impatient and i need to blurt out the rest for you so we can move on and i can say my next thing before i forget it

and like obviously all people experience some symptoms some of the time, daydreaming isn’t exclusive to adhd, neither is walking into a room and forgetting what you’re doing there. but this week as i’ve been paying attention, i notice i do it CONSTANTLY. the other night i opened up my phone before bed because i remembered i hadn’t set my alarm, so i picked it up from where i place it for the night (i was about to go to sleep). 15 minutes later i put my phone back down and decided to turn in for the night again, and then realized i still had never turned the alarm on because i got distracted and did other stuff. and things like that happen with almost comical regularity, now that i know to look for it.

i’ve known i have executive dysfunction issues for a long time so i won’t go into those, but like we’ve known i have problems with directions and organization and spatial processing and knowing how to complete tasks for a long time

the rejection-sensitive dysphoria is something i didn’t really realize was part of adhd, but it makes SO much sense. i think it’s part of why i thought i had bpd for a while, because a lot of the symptoms were similar and i knew i was dealing with something more than just depression and anxiety but didn’t know what, and a lot of the symptoms i experienced also seemed to fit the bpd diagnosis even if my actual behavior and personality didn’t seem to

there are so many more things i’ve noticed this week and thought about differently but i literally can’t remember what they are lmao i think i’m gonna try to write stuff down so i don’t forget to tell my therapist today but like. 

so many of these things i didn’t realize had anything to do with adhd, like emotional dysregulation, i’ve always known i have horrible mood swings and trouble regulating my emotions, i’ve always noticed a lot of these different symptoms but it never occurred to me that they could all be part of the same thing??

like i haven’t been tested or diagnosed yet and i’m worried i’m getting carried away but the only time i’ve ever felt this sort of relief was a few months ago when realizing my dad is a narcissist. like the feeling of “oh my god, i knew this was something i experienced but i didn’t think i could attribute it to anything” and “oh my god, this is word for word something i say all the time, i didn’t realize it was part of a pattern”

and it genuinely made me cry! hearing people talk about things that describe me that i never would have guessed might have to do with adhd, finding something that seems to encompass a very broad range of symptoms that i previously thought were unrelated or results of a myriad of things (and obviously they all play off of one another but that’s a whole separate issue)

but it would explain so much of my behavior and challenges -- why i struggle with finishing up a task or project once the big, complicated part is done; why i get super obsessed with something and then once it wears off i never mention or think about it again; why i’ve always needed my mom’s help to clean my closet or pack for a trip, even though i felt like i was way too old to need help with that; why people constantly are like “i know you heard me say this because you said ‘ok’” about things i genuinely have no recollection of

but i just can’t stop thinking about that guy talking about how he was just resigned to thinking he would never been satisfied or content with his life because that is something i have been feeling and saying FOREVER, for years ive just been like “everything is so hard, the idea of spending the rest of my life struggling to get up in the morning and going to work every day, dealing with all my responsibilities, i feel like i’m exhausted and underwater just thinking about it, i’m never going to feel fulfilled or satisfied, it’s always just going to be slogging through my responsibilities and it’s never going to end” and apparently that’s....a normal thing, and i just thought it was depression and maybe part of it is, but maybe the reason i struggle so much with those every day things is because my brain is wired differently?

and maybe i’ve fucked up because at this point i think i’ll be really disappointed if i don’t get the diagnosis because i’m not really sure what else could explain these issues, it certainly makes sense and i feel like it fits and i feel relieved just thinking about having that answer, and it certainly negatively impacts almost every aspect (if not every aspect) of my life. so like if i don’t get diagnosed idk what i’m gonna do and i probably fucked up by spending the last week obsessing over it lol

but like....the relief i feel every time i read or hear or see someone with adhd say “i experience [x]” and i’m like holy shit??? me too???? and it just. feels like maybe there’s an explanation for all this horrible dissatisfaction and unhappiness i thought i was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life, and there are other people who experience these things and there are things that can be done, medication and therapy and strategies and...my whole life doesn’t NEED to feel like a challenge, maybe it’s not an indisputable fact that i’m just going to have to live with forever.

if you read this far and you have adhd (especially if you were diagnosed after childhood) i would love to hear your thoughts on this, obviously i didn’t list every single symptom and experience and i know there are more but these are all i could think of at the moment, if i seem like i’m way off base obviously please let me know

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 22: Orphan Black 4x07

Another excellent episode of Orphan Black S4. It’s not disappointing at all. I really can’t remember why I stopped watching when it was on the air. Now I’m wondering if I actually did watch all of S4 but I just didn’t continue on to S5 for some reason--or maybe it was S5 that went off the rails for me?

Anyway. This was a very well-paced episode and it was exactly what the show needed after the turning point of the prior ep. It went all in on the aftermath and it didn’t tone itself down at all, but it also didn’t feel like they were just trying to one-up the previous episode or just up the stakes exponentially. Each clone had her own unique, and uniquely messed up, reaction to their tragedy, so the plot felt varied and yet all the stakes were high.

Sarah reverting to old habits made sense. Before the show, she was a loner, and now she wants to be a loner again, where she can’t hurt anyone or be hurt. I won’t lie, her sections with the club goers and with Dizzy were really hot. But I also think they did a good job of showing how she could be brought to the edge--a better job than they did with Beth, I still think. There was absolutely no greater sacrifice in Sarah’s contemplated suicide, no ‘purpose’ to it at all, like we were possibly meant to think Beth’s had purpose (still not sure if we were supposed to believe that or not but I do think it’s a defensible reading). Where she was in this episode is where I THOUGHT they were leading Beth. But... not quite. I also loved that she was saved by Felix, by her family--one of the biggest differences between Beth and Sarah being again, that Beth was alone, and Sarah has a network of support.

Cosima still feels like the weak clone in this re-watch. I thought she was getting more interesting at the beginning of this ep: now she’s really in it, not just the science exposition; she saw Kendall die, she’s haunted by her own role in the scheme. Trying to put the implant in herself was a ballsy move, but tbh it was undercut somewhat for me by, first, the way she insulted Scott (like come ON man he has been nothing but there for you since Day One, as a friend and as a scientist, you worked with Delphine for like two days, then she abandoned you--do you only appreciate people you fuck? that’s so dumb), and second, that it was news of Delphine that stopped her from her mad scientist experiments. Like I’m just tired of this weird fantasy romance with no basis in the text. It just makes me lose respect for Cosima as a person, honestly.

Alison’s story had a little bit of that distinctive comic relief feel (I want Donnie to tell me ghost stories!) but still hit me hard with Alison’s attempt to write a condolence card. And it did such a good pivot at the end! I loved the fake out with the Reverend, which paired with Duko’s fake out with Art earlier, all brought together in the violent raid on their little suburban scene. Now a new story line has opened up, a new sort of terror that’s really only been hinted at so far: the use of the apparatus of the state to control the lives of the clones.

I appreciate that the show did a cleaning off of the slate in the last ep, because I was getting a little confused about what had been accomplished and what they needed to do and now it’s like... same old problems, nothing accomplished! So it’s been simplified a bit.

Rachel seemed to be mostly about exposition today: finally revealing the island, beginning the history lesson on Victorian Neolution. Pretty hilarious how proud Susan is of being a eugenicist lol. I think Evie has gotten too cocky, and made a big tactical error in telling Rachel she was as expendable as any other self-aware clone, because now Rachel is obviously primed to team up with Sarah et al and take Evie down. Like ‘oh, you don’t think Neolution would ever put a clone in a position of importance? Import this, bitch.”

And the eye! I remember loving the concept of the eye when I first watched this episode, and I still love it, and I hope it develops into something interesting. The bio/body horror concept of something implanted in her that gives her weird visions--fits really well with the general body-horror theme of the season. Their bodies, and any other bodies Neolution gets its hands on, are just landscapes for experimentation. Truly creepy.

We’ll see if it actually fully goes in that direction.

[annaoi]

Some more Kingsglaive Cyber AU info that I just need to put into words.

The “old wall” is a group of gigantic robots made by Lucis 50 years prior. Some lay dormant as a display around the city and some are in the outskirts (decommissioned and broken) because they were too big to dispose. People who live in the outskirts made scraps and houses out of their parts. Some may even be functional if given the attention. But most of the time people just ignore them like relics to be eroded away through time. They’re old tech and very hard to operate without a mother system to control them. Plus they have with internal securities so that Nifs won’t be able to use them if defeated. BUT theoretically, a complex, computer-like intelligence (e.g. Luna in this AU) can make them work again after a lot of effort of into hacking it. I have a comic idea about this but it’s daunting to draw. But I will still try.

The cyborg!glaives cannot digest food normally. Liquefied nutrients are pumped into them through tubes that would connect to their abdomen.They have those food pumping machines in their homes. If, for some reason, they can’t have access to those food pumps, baby food is a good temporary substitute. (Inspired by the old Robocop movie xD)

When the glaives were still getting used to their mechanical limbs. They were suggested to practice precise movements with their fingers by doing origami. They suck at it at first, but eventually they get the hang of it.  (I remember @fabulanova-ffxv​ suggested this idea in one of our discussions and inspired by that Ghost In the Shell scene we watched)

Glaive computer companions or CCs (Luna and others not named), don’t sleep. They don’t need to sleep. 

When Nyx needs extensive repairs after getting damaged from a mission (meaning he needs to go under the knife), he doesn’t want to be put to sleep because he doesn’t like it when people tinker into him without his knowledge. He has this fear that when he wakes up after the operation he’d be not himself anymore/he’d be fully turned into a mindless robot. He hates it when one of his organs would need replacing because it feels like he’s less human because of it. He doesn’t say these fears and personal sentiments out loud but he does request to be awake and only have the anesthesia. (@loveiscosmicsin gave me this idea). 

When glaives need to have an actual sparring practice as opposed of the virtual one, the CCs would connect to a sparring bot and act as a sparring partner. Luna prefers to do this because at least she’d be tangible rather than just a hologram. She hates it when she has to disconnect to the robot. They can’t take those robots home, they’re Kingsglaive property. There is one time that she hugs Nyx because she wants to feel a hug that is not virtual. 

Come to think of it, both Nyx and Luna are Kingsgliave property. Same goes with the rest of the glaives and CCs. 

When Nyx goes out, he wears a hoodie so people don’t stare. He brings Luna with him via the small projector. But she doesn’t reveal her hologram form to avoid curious eyes and questions and people freaking out. He takes her to thrift shops because she likes looking into trinkets and scanning them and just adding them into her virtual collection. 

Luna can delete her own memories. This is useful when reading books or watching movies when she wants to experience them as if it was her first time. It also keeps her from telling spoilers to Nyx xD. Unfortunately, Nyx still has a biological brain so he can’t delete his memories - he’d be spewing spoilers and Luna would need to mute her auditory sensors LOL.

Nyx doesn’t say it but one reason why he likes to be in virtual world when goes into the “worlds” that Luna created is because he looks like his fully human self when he’s in it. And he can still feel things as he would feel them in reality. He always reminds himself that he has to come back to reality because he doesn’t want to get addicted to the virtual escape. 

During missions, even though Nyx has superior experience in combat and warfare, he still respects Luna’s suggestions and ideas. He doesn’t treat her as a subordinate. They’re partners in the job. 

This is it for now. Will add later.