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iovjun · 4 years ago

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You Were Beautiful — Huang Renjun

PAIRING: huang renjun x reader

GENRE: angst, breakup au

WARNINGS: none, other than the fkn heartbreak :(

SYNOPSIS: You were a novel in itself, your pages filled with words upon words of stories and little problems you ran into. Renjun felt thankful to have appeared in a few of those lines, maybe even a whole chapter filled with nothing but him. But books, too, ended eventually.

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

A/N: this one hurt ngl :D TELL ME HOW I DID? DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL? (honorary tag to @yoongistoesuwu who’s always a part of my writing process <3)

The dirt under your nails never felt more uncomfortable. Your little plants stared up at you, their pale green color sickening to look at. Once standing strong and tall, they were now reduced to wilted, feeble, pathetic things. It was a terrible feeling, knowing that you neglected them and they were dying because of you.

You quietly hummed a song as you dusted your hands off and grabbed the small watering can, returning it to it’s temporary spot on the counter. The sun was low in the sky, its golden color washing over the kitchen and your skin. Its beams shone through the wide windows, barely filtered by the thin white curtain.

When you first picked this apartment, the view was one of the many things you loved about it. High above the ground, the city skyline was definitely a sight for sore eyes, especially during these hours when the clouds became an artist’s canvas, a splash of color across the horizon.

As you looked out the window and took a sip of water, the door opened behind you but you didn’t turn. You knew it was just Renjun, and you didn’t have to see him to know that he was probably in that favorite sweater of his, keys dangling from one finger and his phone in his hand.

“Hey,” he said, his voice casual.

“Hey,” you acknowledged, twisting to watch him set his keys down.

“Did you eat already?” He opened the fridge, but you already knew it was empty. He realized that fact, closing it and turning away.

You replied, “No.”

“Oh.”

That was it. He didn’t make eye contact, he didn’t come up to give you a kiss, he didn’t invite you to eat elsewhere. He walked away, probably to go sit on the bed while he scrolls through his phone and you stay in the kitchen, watching the sun bid farewell.

When the light faded completely the kitchen was dark but you didn’t bother turning on the lights. The city outside glowed lively and even in this quiet moment you could still hear the honking cars and bustling streets below, sounds you’ve grown accustomed to since moving to the city. The feeling inside you was one you’ve become all too familiar with, yet when put to words you came up blank.

You were never much of a poet anyway, not like Renjun.

The glass of water in your hands was now empty—this you discovered as you brought it back up to your lips for another sip. Sighing, you put in the sink and looked at the time. It was past ten already, how long had you been standing there? The lights outside had been so mesmerizing, so alive, you could get caught up watching other people live their lives while you forget about yours.

Eventually you slipped into bed, wincing at the stone cold sheets. You knew Renjun’s sleeping body was beside you but you pushed that notion away, closing your eyes and trying to get rid of every thought that kept you up at night. Getting good sleep these days was becoming less and less often, but you weren’t sure why.

Maybe it was the fact that the person on the other side of the bed turned his back to you every night, and you always drifted off knowing you wouldn’t wake up in his arms the next morning. At this point you felt numb, tears wouldn’t even fall from your eyes anymore, you weren’t even sure what you felt could be described as sadness or anger.

The next day you squinted at your plants on the window sill, trying to determine if they looked better or worse. You supposed it was too early to tell, you barely tended to them the evening before.

Staring out the window was starting to be all too common for you and you hated it. You hated seeing the city outside, the sidewalks you used to walk with Renjun and the cafe events you would attend with him. And sometimes there would be a stray cat in an alley that would, by some miracle, let Renjun pet him. He would pull you in, his hand still grasping yours tightly, and jokingly asked if you could take it home, eyes bright like a child in a toy store. You would chuckle, shaking your head at him and reminding him that pets weren’t allowed in your apartment. Of course, he already knew that but it was a running joke between the both of you.

How you hated those big windows.

Hastily turning, you grabbed your jacket and keys before you let your thoughts wander too far. You reached out to the door but it swung open and you came face to face with Renjun who was arriving as scheduled.

He recoiled in shock and coughed awkwardly, letting go of the doorknob and relaxing his arm. “Hey, were you going somewhere?” he asked, looking away from your eyes.

You stepped back to let him in. “Um, not really,” was your answer. “Why?”

“I just—” he began, bringing up his arm to show a paper bag in his hand. “I brought some food. Thought you might be hungry.”

“Oh, okay. Let’s eat then,” you murmured, and with that he walked in, setting down the bag and slipping off his sweater. You caught a whiff of him as he walked by, the scents from outside mixing with his usual aroma. He smelled of spring rain over a jasmine field, it always reminded you of the fresh flowers the waiters at your favorite cafe used to place in each vase.

It was quiet. Too quiet.

The type of silence that had its hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing the life out of you, making you clench your fist with force.

Looking back at this scene, no one would’ve ever guessed that just a couple months ago you were engaged to this man.

The food in front of you was spread out in all its glory, just the sight of it was enough to make your mouth water. Renjun sat across from you, his head lowered as he took in the food. You noticed, looking at the logo on the bag, that it was from an unfamiliar restaurant. Your stomach growled in hunger but you didn’t eat.

You couldn’t eat. It felt strange, like you were dining with a stranger. You were conscious of every second that ticked by, every breath you took, every time Renjun moved the slightest inch. It was just too uncomfortable. Perhaps he felt the same, as he grasped his eating utensil tightly, doing nothing more than stare at the meal.

You held in a disappointed sigh, shifting in your seat awkwardly. Neither of you were big talkers anyway, but this wasn’t the comfortable silence you were accustomed to with Renjun.

“How was work?” you asked in a small voice, straightening your back when he lifted his head to look at you.

“It was fine.”

The reality of the situation was becoming too clear. Rain pattered the windows, you could hear the laugh of a passerby in the hallway, probably coming from a late Saturday party. The white, clean walls of a spacey kitchen never felt so small, so suffocating. You were like a burning match, and Renjun was the oxygen that could either blow you out or feed your flames.

By now he would’ve talked your ear off about the managers at work who seemed too demanding for his taste, or the girls that would constantly hit on him, or he would bring up the small succulent you gifted him a while ago that he took care of every day while working. You wondered about his friends and his coworkers, wondering how they were doing. He never talked about them anymore. He didn’t talk about anything anymore, in fact, not with you.

He couldn’t even look you in the eyes anymore.

You had to leave. You stood, the sound of your chair scraping across the linoleum floor harshly ripping through the thick silence. It was pouring outside but you needed to get away. Renjun didn’t move, he knew you both needed it for now. He let you walk past him, heading out the door with only your keys and phone in hand.

It was eating him inside out. You used to look at him with entire galaxies in your eyes, your smile that lit the world brighter than Renjun had ever seen. It was on rainy nights like this that he would take you out to the park and you would sit on a bench, sharing the same umbrella but getting soaked anyway. You would both chuckle at the people running by, hurrying to get some shelter in the cold rain and he would wrap his arm around you, pulling you in so close. The pleasant feeling in your chest was warmer than any jacket you’ve ever worn.

The stars would fall mercy at your feet, for you shined brighter than any of them. Renjun could spend hours painting you, just you. The dainty way your hand held his, the lips that whispered sleepy “l love you’s” every morning, your luscious hair that would tickle him from time to time. And when you laughed, Renjun loved you even more then. Even if it was a quiet, content laugh, or a loud chortle that left you breathless, he could never get enough of it.

It was so cliché but Renjun used to love you like that.

The following day was equally as bleak as the one before.

You stood by the window once again, watching the raindrops race to the bottom of the glass, remembering the times you did that as a child, betting with yourself to see which one made it down first.

This time the sun was nowhere to be seen, obscured by the heavy gray clouds that cried tears. Fog covered the buildings outside like a morbid blanket, and you could feel the chilly air seeping in through the glass when you placed your fingertips on it.

Today was your anniversary with Renjun, and you could only hope that something good came out of the dinner you prepared.

You took your time waiting in the kitchen, watering your flora who were also looking a bit brighter even without the sun. Smiling as you looked down at them, thinking about how they were something to look forward to in your black and white world.

Glancing at the time, you noticed it was getting a bit late, but that was a lie. You were getting ahead of yourself. Renjun was usually on time, arriving around 7:30 pm, and it was barely 7:50. You hoped he didn’t forget what day it was because it would make things even more awkward.

Just as you were placing the last plate on the table, the door opened and Renjun entered, his trademark sweater on and keys in hand. At least that was one thing about him that never changed.

He saw what you had prepared and, for the first time in a while, you saw a small smile on his face. Before you could greet him, he held out his hand, a little flower peeking out from his grasp.

“Happy anniversary,” he said softly.

Your heart sank. It was a single jasmine blossom, a flower that used to be your favorite.

Used to be.

You wouldn’t put it against Renjun for not knowing how much you despised that flower now, hating the sickly sweet smell that drove your anxiety up the wall.

Renjun smelled of spring rain over a jasmine field.

Nonetheless, you plucked the flower from his hand and inhaled its scent, ignoring the way it made your stomach churn as you gently smiled at him. “Happy anniversary,” you repeated, struggling to keep your smile bright. “I made dinner.”

Once the both of you sat down, you tapped your fingers on the table, contemplating if you should fight the silence or let it win again today. Renjun seemed to be deep in thought as well, his hands folded on his lap and his brows furrowed in that way they do when he’s focused on something. His eyes were fixated on your restless hand, and you couldn’t help but assume he was staring at the empty spot where your ring used to be. You clenched your fist and retracted it, mirroring his pose with your hands in your lap. Renjun shook out of his daze and pursed his lips, stabbing at the food on his plate.

“Why are we even doing this?” you spoke, your voice a bit wobbly.

Renjun didn’t even have to ask to know what you were talking about, yet he still felt his heart squeeze at your question. “I don’t know.”

“We’re basically roommates, Renjun. We’re two people that live in the same house but never interact. Why do we keep doing this?” The volume of your voice escalated desperately, and you searched him for an answer but he didn’t look up.

“I don’t know!” he blurted out forcefully.

You pushed your plate away, your appetite suddenly gone. “I don’t think we can make this work anymore.” He stayed silent while you continued. “I’m miserable—we both are.”

The truth was Renjun was afraid of letting you go. He was afraid of coming home to an empty house, of sleeping in an empty bed, of having no one to console him when he was upset. You and him used to live in harmony at some point, a routine where you would understand each other and work together. He’d grown so used to you, the idea of you, that he felt sick thinking of a life without you.

He was afraid of being alone.

Outside the rain came down in waves. It pounded on the window, asking for attention while you waited for Renjun to say something.

He didn’t.

Instead, the sky roared with thunder and a faroff bolt of lightning struck the ground, lighting up the world momentarily. The lightbulb above you flickered once then gave out, as did the rest of the light sources throughout the kitchen. The refrigerator stopped humming, the AC stopped clicking, and the numbers on the microwave faded away, leaving you to stare at your ex-fiancé in the dark.

Renjun couldn’t stand the way you looked at him anymore. Though some of the light in your eyes had faded, they were still filled with hope and trust. At the end of the day you continued to wait for him with open arms. He felt undeserving of your love.

You left the table first, the food laying untouched while Renjun let you walk away again. If he had anything to say in that moment, it stayed painfully lodged in his throat, his own pride choking him up.

A couple months ago, your first fights were terrible. You both raised your voices, ignored each other, even refused to sleep in the same bed (Renjun would stay with a friend when it got bad). He never liked thinking about those times, regretting each and every word he ever directed at you and hating the pain in your expression after. He especially disliked recalling the tears in your eyes when you slid the diamond ring off your finger and placed it in his palm.

After silently clearing the table and checking the breakers, Renjun found his way to the bedroom in the dark, seeing your curled up form under the covers. He didn’t acknowledge you as he slid in next to you, turning his back like always and pulling the covers up to his chin, careful not to pull your side too much.

He closed his eyes but did not sleep, his thoughts running too rampant to let him. Even if he did sleep, he dreamt only of you. Of when you first met, of your first date, of the day he got on one knee and asked for your hand. He could never forget the happiness in your voice, the jubilant smile you wore beautifully.

“Renjun,” he heard you whisper into the inky bedroom, the sound just loud enough for him to hear. “I’m cold.”

It was anything but cold under the blankets, but Renjun did feel chilled, hollow. Like he was disconnected from his body somehow. “I know,” he replied quietly. “Me too.”

You didn’t respond but he turned, cautiously putting his arm around you and you let him, tears springing to your eyes. It had been a while since you laid in this position with him, you nestled in his chest while he buried his nose in your neck or hair and he was so close you could feel each breath he took. It felt strange yet familiar, like that sense of déjà vu you get when it feels like you already went through something. But maybe your brain conjured up this bittersweet dream, maybe this reality was just in your head.

Maybe Renjun would still love you when you woke up.

“Your flowers are dead.”

Renjun stood by the window, a dry, wilted leaf resting on his finger. He studied it for a moment, and then let it go. It crumbled to pieces.

“I don’t care about them anymore,” you voiced. “It took me too much effort to keep them alive.”

He nodded in understanding, though he knew those plants meant a lot to you. Sometimes on days when you were tired, he’d remind you to water them or even do it himself. Not once had your flowers ever looked the way they did now—dull, withered, dead.

A long, painful beat of silence passed. Renjun gazed out the window, taking in the familiar sun that hasn’t shown itself in days. The heavy clouds had finally lifted that day, revealing a fading orange and red sky. You watched him from the counter, the way the golden light bounced off his skin, creating a heavenly, ethereal glow. The silver bracelet he wore on his wrist reflected the beams, projecting them onto the ceiling above.

You looked down, away from the man who you promised your life to once upon a time. A million thoughts raced through your head, too cryptic to comprehend. All you knew was that whatever you and Renjun had hurt too much to keep going. Clenching your fist, you braced yourself for your next words.

“Let’s end this Renjun.”

For once, he turned to look at you, his eyes dry of tears but filled with pain. Every fiber of his being screamed for you, to be happy in your arms again, to hear the words ‘my love’ fall from your lips one more time. He bit his lip and pushed down those longing thoughts, the ones that were on his mind far too much these days.

He made the hardest decision of his life—he chose to let go of you. On that day, that minute, that split second, he looked into your eyes and knew it was the end of a love story.

Renjun knew he loved you, but he fell out of love with you a long time ago.

You were once his morning and night sky, his sunflower fields, his walk in the clouds. Whoever the creator was smiled upon you, blessing you with a kind of spirit that brought peace and adventure at the same time. Being with you felt like an impulsive car ride along the coastline, the wind blowing your hair wildly, screaming and throwing your arms up as if it was a rollercoaster ride. Or like a lazy afternoon, sleeping the whole day while the sun made its path across the sky, only being woken up by kisses and giggles and legs tangled in the bedsheets.

Beyond your monotonous life were other people also moving on. Friends came and went, that random stranger you saw on the street you would probably never see again, enjoying an unfamiliar song in a cafe that would slip your mind as soon as you left. People lived, people died, but the world kept revolving, never stopping, never giving anyone a break.

That was the beauty of it.

Renjun didn’t feel angry or sad or even bitter. He was thankful. He was thankful for the countless moments spent with you, for all the laughs and tears you shared, for the quiet and loud moments, for the breath of air you were to him. You were a novel in itself, your pages filled with words upon words of stories and little problems you ran into. Renjun felt thankful to have appeared in a few of those lines, maybe even a whole chapter filled with nothing but him.

But books, too, ended eventually.

The last blow to his heart was when he looked back, seeing you standing in the doorway with a wounded expression. The windows behind you were as translucent as ever, pouring light over your perfect form. Your hair flared brightly from the orange backlight and you leaned on the frame, one second away from screaming at him to come back.

He considered returning, mumbling an ‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ but that would only delay the inevitable, not stop it. At the end of the day, it was still over. But it was okay, because looking back now at all the love you used to share, he realized it was beautiful.

You were beautiful.

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papers4me · 4 years ago

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Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1

I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.

-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!

Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.

Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)

It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.

Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!

The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.

This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!

-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):

The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.

The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!

-Akito, the pitiful woman:

Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:

No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.

Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.

she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.

Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.

Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.

She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.

she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?

It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!! Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he? perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.

Side notes:

Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.

Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.

Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew!

Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance.

Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!

Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!

Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?

Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!

There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~

Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!

Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!

The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!

The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD

look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!

oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Tohru Honda #Akito Sohma #se03 #final season #kureno sohma #shigure sohma #kyo sohma

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nekowriteshaikyuu · 4 years ago

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germaphobic

who knew there was someone just like him.

pairing : sakusa x reader

warnings : none

summary : sakusa pledged to never date a single girl, just because they’re “dirty”. it was all going well, until he met you.

a/n : i’ve been wanting to make stories of other characters(i.e yamaguchi, hinata, iwaizumi etc) but my mind is blank and i can’t make up any scenarios that match perfectly with them T^T. so here’s another key-oomi i guess

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ sakusa kiyoomi ♥

sakusa could hear the crowd emitting from outside as he sat in his classroom. munching into his lunch, he payed no attention to the loud screams of the students running along the corridor and playing tag. some busted into his class, running circles before exiting the back door. sakusa disliked crowds, and germs. his mindset tells him that everyone barely takes care of personal hygiene. and that thought makes him absolutely disgusted, he’s practically gagging already.

he was minding his own business when a girl walked in, and he could already predict what’s happening next.

“u-uhm, s-sakusa-kun, i-i’m sorry to interrupt b-but”

“apologies, but i’m not interested.” sakusa cut her off before she could even finished her sentence. sakusa got up from his seat, cleaning his table before throwing his trash to the bin and walking out of the classroom, leaving the girl behind. another confession. he hurried into bathroom, walking really close to the wall to avoid bumping into others. when he arrived, he was washing his hands and changing his mask. he looked straight into the mirror before sighing.

he hates getting confessions. receiving love letters or chocolate bars, he can’t seem to accept them because it might be ‘contaminated’ by germs. because of this, he never wish to get into a relationship. just by thinking about kissing or anything beyond that makes him shiver and feel really uncomfortable. sakusa has already went through previous relationships, but all failed because of his fear of germs. he doesn’t give affection, nor bring them out on dates, which labeled him as the ‘self-centered’ or ‘boring’ boyfriend. since then, he never look forward into having a relationship. not until someone could accept him for despising germs.

sakusa walked out the bathroom and took a longer route back to his classroom. the route was quiet, and there were no sight of other students, which put sakusa at ease. he walked slightly slower, admiring the outside view. he wished that the day would end faster so he could go home and talk a shower, draining all the germs that are on him away. he heaved a large sigh before pushing the door open and spotting a girl in the classroom. she seemed like she was new because he’d never seen the sight of her before. but what caught his attention the most was what she was doing.

there, you were mindlessly lint-rolling your clothes, before putting on hand-sanitizer . you carefully placed your bag on your chair and took out wet wipes and started wiping your table, carefully throwing the used wet wipes into a small plastic bag and into the bin. you tucked your mask back behind your ear and stopped at your tracks when you spotted a boy standing still by the door.

“ah- i’m l/n y/n, i’m new to this class, sorry for the sudden intrusion.” you introduced under your mask and bowed.

sakusa didn’t hear a word you say. he was in awe. he was amazed by what you did a few minutes ago. who would’ve known he’d bump into someone, a girl to exact, taking such good care of her hygiene on her first day in a new school.

“ah..yeah.” was all sakusa said before walking back to his seat and settling in. you followed from behind and sat at your seat, which was just beside his. sakusa glances to his side, watching you tidy your messy skirt and straighten your uniform. for a moment, his heart thumped. his cheeks were suddenly flushed when you both made a sudden eye-contact with each other. he looked away, staring outside the window as his cheeks grew redder.

“hey um..” you broke the silence. he only turned his head back to face you, leaning in slightly to listen to your soft voice that was blocked by the mask. you leaned in slightly but not to near to avoid any contact.

“sorry but do you have a spare mask? i broke my first one on the way to school.” his eyes were shinning. you? needing a spare mask? hoho, absolutely. sakusa didn’t hesitate to pull out his zip-lock bag of spare mask, carefully handing you one. you took it before taking out your zip-lock bag, and keeping the spare mask nicely in it. he continue to admire you at the corner of his eye while you mindlessly wiggle your legs, staring around the classroom to kill time.

it wasn’t long before the bell rang and the classroom was filled with students. sakusa noticed how you slightly flinched when a classmate walked passed you, his hand slightly grazing over yours. he could tell you were feeling very uncomfortable. before he could do anything to help you, the teacher walked in, interrupting the noisy class.

“alright, settle down ! today, we have a new student joining us . could you please come up and introduce yourself ?” the teacher gestured and you slowly got up from your seat and making your way to the teacher. everyone watches as you pull your mask down slightly to show your lips before speaking.

“hello, i’m l/n y/n, uhm..i’m really conscious with hygiene so please bare with me as i try to settle into this school. that is all.” you pulled your mask back up, adjusting it to your liking before walking back to your seat. sakusa didn’t look away at all. his brain stopped working. are you for real? like- someone who is exactly like him? he can’t believe it. he’s just so- amazed.

the day continued until the last bell rang. everyone tucked away their books before running out the classroom. you slowly pack away your things before taking out your wet wipes again and wiping the table. sakusa was just watching you, like some creep analyzing every move you do.

“oh uh..sakusa right? thank you for the spare mask, appreciate it.” you smiled under your mask which he could tell when your cheeks raised up slightly. he only nodded before watching you walk out the room, putting on hand-sanitizer on the way.

he felt different. his heart was beating really fast. his body heat was really warm, and he could feel the redness growing on his cheeks. is it..really what he think it is? he placed a hand over his heart, feeling the beat of his heart throbbing faster than usual.

yup, he’s definitely falling in love. with you.

“fuck.” he cussed under his breathe.

------𝕤𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕤𝕒 𝕜𝕚𝕪𝕠𝕠𝕞𝕚------

a/n: man so much happend. my cat fell out my window :(( thank god she didn’t sustain any major injuries but her mouth is scratched i feel so bad. but yeah apart from that i’ve been really demotivated lately to write (writer’s block hhh) so i apologies if it takes a while for me to publish. anyways i hope this was okay, pretty last minute ngl but yeah :>

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gummyvitamin · 4 years ago

Text

𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 + 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝑽 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔: 𝑻𝒆𝒏

♡ 𝒌𝒖𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒘𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒔 𝒙𝒊𝒂𝒐𝒋𝒖𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈

college classmate!ten x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff; college au; friends to lovers

words: 619

*disclaimer: this post is not at all meant to undermine the severity of the pandemic; this is meant to help cheer up those who are bored or in low spirits because of quarantine. it is so so important to be mindful and do what we can to stop the spread. stay safe, please please wash your hands frequently, and help protect others by avoiding public spaces, wearing a mask and maintaining social distancing :)

uve been stuck at home for over 3 months now

and each day that passed by only left u feeling worse and worse

online school had drained u of all of ur motivation

u hadn’t met up with ur friends in what seemed like forever

and oh my god if u have to stare at that same my hero academia poster on ur bedroom wall for just one more day ur gonna /lose it/

but the Only Thing stopping u from combusting in the hellfire that is isolation is ur best friend ten

u hadn’t been able to meet up in person ever since u both got sent home from university

but u never once felt like u had lost touch with him

because every single day, without missing a beat, ten would facetime u from his home with his cats by his side

and u would just watch him play with them for hours like cmon ~serotonin~

like sometimes he’s proudly showing off the new cat toy he had made

and other times he’s just got them on his lap purring in the background while u both just talk about ~life~

and once his cats had had enough they would just yeet themselves out of his lap making u laugh at him on the other side of the screen

but u honestly really appreciated that fact that he would share this time with u everyday

and ten absolutely knew how important this daily call was for u bc he knew how much isolation was affecting u

(plus it gives him a chance to see u all cute and smiley😳)

like sometimes ur conversations would just go on and on and on

but u had absolutely no complaints! in fact u really enjoyed it

bc talking about the “insane plot twist !!” of some new show or how ur banana bread recipe ended in the smoke alarm going off just like,,,restored some of ur humanity during such a stressful and uncertain time :’)

and ngl the more u both talk, the more ur just looking at him like “wait aha he’s like,,,kinda cute and mad respectful😳”

and today tens just sitting there with a cat cradled in his arms, gently petting its head while its snuggling up to his chest all nice and comfy🥺

and ur just kinda zoning out watching the scene in front of u bc ten is just so pretty whattttt

he sees u lookin kinda dazed and is just like “u okay? if ur tired u can hang up”

and u just snap out of it and r like “haha sorry ur just so cute:’)”

wait /shit/ u just said that out loud u fool

ur about to attempt to cover for ur slip up by being all like “nO i mEanT uR cAt aHa”

but ten beats u to it and is just there smirking like “LOLL I know right?😏”

and ur this close to reaching thru the screen and clocking him in the face

but then he’s like “but ur really cute too ya know,,” and u could tell he was being /100% serious/

and ur like wait really👉👈 and he just laughs and says “if I didn’t like u too do u think I’d spend so much of my own precious time calling u every day?”

which is Very True lol

and u were so shook at how casually that exchange went

but the whole thing just felt so natural and u knew u would always feel comfy and safe with him by ur side

and now u couldn’t wait to be able to see him and his cats (but mostly his cats) in person again bc wowie he’s just so great:’)

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satorinni · 4 years ago

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𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

synopsis: you were his everything; sun, moon, stars and all. he treated you so much like royalty that you expected nothing less. but it seems you took him for granted.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mostly angst, some fluff, readers kinda toxic ngl SUPER UNEDITED DONT YELL AT ME

a/n: uhhh idek if this counts as a fucking fic tbh, but it was inspired by a hc (that wasn’t even angst) that i saw, also i listened to grow old with you by adam sandler on repeat soooo yeah enjoy happy birfday to my future self cs this is queued<3

shit. you were late, again. it was your own fault, you knew that much. you went to bed late and didn’t bother setting an alarm. whatever, you were already late, why bother rushing? surely your professor would understand?

this was your fault. no, not waking up late & not setting an alarm, (though that was still all you). no, the whole reason you never, ever bothered to wake up early enough to cook yourself breakfast: because you knew there would always be a fresh plate of eggs & bacon on the counter for you. the reason you never set an alarm or fixed your sleeping schedule: you knew someone would be there to wake you up & ensure you went to bed at a decent time. losing that, see, that was your fault.

to most, sakusa kiyoomi was a pretentious neat freak who disregarded everyone else’s comfort in preference of his own. to most, he was an outrageously good volleyball star who didn’t take interviews because his personal life was his personal life. to most, he was, well, kind of a dick. but alas, that was to most. you? you were not part of that majority. no, kiyoomi made sure to remind you of that every single time you saw him. whether it be through washing the dishes because he just knew you were stressed from school (without you ever having to say it). texting you good morning & good night every time he was away for a game (because yeah, he missed you just as much as you missed him). or even through the way he would cradle your face in his hands to kiss at your eyes whenever he finally came home (you cried every time, but he was always there to kiss your tears away).

maybe you should’ve gone to his games more, cheer him on like the rest of his fans. though he never considered you a “fan”, merely his inspiration. maybe you should’ve dropped out of school to become his doting housewife. sakusa would never ask that of you, but sometimes the thought would creep into the back of your mind when school was too rough. maybe you should’ve traveled with him, part of you thought the distance is what made it end, but that was your brain making excuses because deep down you knew distance would never be the reason.

~~~

“don’t you miss me when you’re gone?” you knew the answer, but moments like this were rare, so you held onto them when you got the chance. your eyes were still closed, but you knew his were open by the flutter of his eyelashes against yours.

“i miss you every single minute that i can’t see your smile.” as if on cue, a soft smile builds on your face. he could probably feel your heartbeat with how close he was. your fingers grazed the curls at the nape of his neck and you shiver, as if the goosebumps you left in your wake were contagious.

“what do you miss about me?” humor me, you thought, because he was leaving tomorrow and you needed something to savor for the next few weeks. he hums softly, large hands stroking small circles against your cheek.

“i miss going to dinner an hour early to avoid the swarm of paparazzi trying to snap pictures of my girl.” you giggle at this. the paps were actually always trying to snap pics of him, because of his tendency to never leave hotel rooms, photos of him were always so rare.

“i miss fighting over the remote because you always wanna watch those nature documentaries.” he constantly complained about how boring they were, but always let you have the remote anyway. you try shifting closer to him, as if your foreheads and every part of you body wasn’t already pressed against his.

“i miss the nights i get to spend putting you to bed when you drink too much with your friends.” you open your eyes at this. he’s looking directly into yours.

“i thought you hated that?” mornings after are always filled with his complaints of how you reeked of alcohol and sweat. you always told him he didn’t have to clean up after you, but he would just roll his eyes and change the subject.

at this, he smiles and kisses you softly. suddenly, you forget what you’re even talking about until he pulls away.

“mostly, i just miss you, princess.” at first, the nickname started as a joke. when you first started dating, his friends thought you were a mooch. always having sakusa clean the house, get the groceries, remind you of your dentist appointments, treat you like a princess. despite this, whenever you tried to protest that you were an independent woman or that you could do things yourself, he would laugh and kiss away your complaints.

“i would travel across the seas everyday for 20 years if it meant i could see you smile and hear you laugh.” a grin spreads across your face. “even if it means i have to deal with your morning breath.” your eyes widen in embarrassment. you cover your face with your hands and whine.

“yoomi!” he laughs, but pries your hands away and kisses you again. you smile into the kiss, reveling in the feeling of being his girl.

“i love you.” he whispers against your lips. you kiss him harder, not bothering to say it back because you both know you’d walk to the ends of the earth for him.

~~~

after a while, you became dependent on him. on the occasions he was home, he did everything for you. and even when he wasn’t, he would still call everyday to make sure you feed the cat and call your mother. little things. maybe after 4 years you started getting selfish.

“princess, it’ll just be for two days?” he was trying to reason with you, but you didn’t see the point. nothing he said would’ve made you change your mind.

“yoomi, i don’t want you to go!” looking back, maybe you were being a bit insufferable. after all, it was nationals, there would be olympic recruiters there. kiyoomi had a shot at being in the olympics. but still, it was your anniversary. “we were supposed to go to paris remember? the city of love? don’t you love m-” he cuts you off before you finish.

“of course i love you. don’t ever doubt that i do. but i can’t let my team down. i can’t let japan down. i have to go, princess.” you turn away from him, fingers running across your forehead in rapid annoyance. school had been extra stressful, but you were graduating this year. this was the only break you had, and you had really been hoping to spend it in paris with the love of your life.

“why don’t you come with me?” it was quiet, but something about the suggestion made you furious. you had never gone to his away games before. not because you didn’t want to, but because sakusa preferred to keep your relationship private. he liked it better when you watched him through the tv screen.

“i don’t want to. i want to go to paris. i want to celebrate our anniversary and come back home so i can finish my finals. so i can graduate and i can travel with you as much as you want.” maybe that was the breaking point. maybe he finally realized how much of a brat you were being, regardless of how much you loved him and he loved you.

~~~

in attempt to stop the words ringing in your head, you open your eyes and sit up. you were already two hours late, what was the point in going to school at all? didn’t matter if you graduated anyway, you didn’t have anywhere to go, no one to be with. your professor would understand.

you sob quietly into your hands. It was no use, you could still hear him.

“i can’t do this anymore, y/n.” you wanted to scream. youcanyoucanyoucan. you should’ve. but you knew you couldn’t. he was going to be in the olympics. he had his whole life ahead of him, and who were you? just his selfish girl. his girl who couldn’t even bother to go to his game that day on your anniversary. the game where he scored the winning spike and pointed directly to the cameras. the game where he screamed through tears, this one’s for you, princess.

the game you didn’t watch.

this was your fault. you knew it was. there was no point in being angry with him. he loved you. you knew that. but after he left you couldn’t help but wonder, did i really love him? or did i love everything he did for me?

three months. it took three months to realize that, yes, i love him with every fiber of my being. It took three whole months to realize that you tore out your own heart and his when you let him walk out. because after three months you realized he would’ve stayed the second you asked him to. but you didn’t. and that was your fault.

#um idek what to call this #it was supposed to b a drabble #wtf #my first fic ig?#sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa angst #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #angst #haikyuu!!#nani?

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maria-scribbles · 4 years ago

Text

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part four

summary: carmen actually steps foot inside her own house after discovering her daughter isn’t the only teenager living there. the hurricane hurtling toward the island matches the tempest in sailor’s heart as she finally gets some long-overdue words off her chest that her mom isn’t very happy to hear and two friends inch closer and closer to crossing that metaphorical line.

word count: 6.6k+ (oops, i did it again 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings n stuff: mentions of abuse/neglect, gambling addiction, child abandonment, being kicked out of home, fluff, swearing, underage drinking, flirting, having shitty dads, mentions of weed, star wars, and sailor’s unhealthy addiction to nutella, mention and direct quote of the percy jackson and the olympians series (again), subtle nod to new girl (i love seeing how many references i can make lmao)

a/n: first off, i just want to thank each and every one of you for your likes, reblogs, and especially your wonderful comments! they mean to world to me, seriously ❤ now, here comes the dramaaaaa! we get to dive into sailor’s complicated, turbulent relationship with her mother (sailor, like john b, has a very big, very real fear of being abandoned by people she loves because of her dad) before heading toward the canon timeline of the show. the quote about the sea near the beginning is from jaques cousteau, legendary french naval officer, marine explorer and filmmaker who co-created the aqua-lung and paved the way for modern scuba diving. he also pioneered marine conservation and discovered the wreck of the hmhs britannic, sister ship of the rms titanic! so overall, he was a pretty cool dude and i feel that he’d be a personal hero to ocean-loving sailor (maybe even kiara as well, considering her love of the environment/conservation).

unbetaed as usual so all mistakes are my b.

gif credit to @toesure (who has the most beautiful gifs, ngl)

~Masterlist~

part four: high tide

The sun’s just peeking its rays over the horizon, painting the deep blue sky the softest shades of pink and orange. Calm, steady waves lap against the shore and over Sailor’s bare feet as she stands alone on an empty and desolate beach, the only signs of life coming from the seagulls squawking overhead. The air is thick and sticky with early morning humidity, the type that makes it hard to breathe and frizzes the hell out of her wavy hair, and she can already feel moisture starting to collect on her skin.

Why’s she here again? She can’t remember a reason and come to think of it, she can’t remember exactly how she got here, either. Did she drive? She turns her back to the ocean and its entrancing pull to look for her truck but finds the surf shop is the only thing she can see clearly, the world surrounding it blurred in an incomprehensible mess of color; the sight should’ve caused anxiety to take root in her chest but somehow she finds herself unbothered, relaxed. Somehow, she feels at home.

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

Sailor’s head snaps to the left at the sound of a painfully familiar voice. A tall, redheaded man now stands in what was only a few seconds ago an empty space, smiling out over the water with the brilliant colors of the sky reflecting in his green eyes.

“Dad?”

Ryan doesn’t seem to hear the incredulous tone in her voice or even the fact that she spoke at all as he turns to face her and asks a question of his own, “It’s true, don’t you think?”

Of course she does. The sea has had her under its captivating, magnetic spell ever since she first laid eyes on it when she was a toddler, a baby, even. Her parents always said she wanted to spend every waking moment at the beach, combing the sand for shells and staring out at the water, imagining what new discoveries were waiting for her in its depths. Her mouth moves on it’s own as she replies, “You know I do.”

It’s not what she wants to say at all. She wants so badly to yell at him, let out her frustrations and hurt and pain ‘how dare you leave us’ ‘what did I do wrong’ ‘why haven’t you come back yet’ but finds that she can’t form the words. It’s like she’s watching a video, or maybe reliving a memory -oh. It feels like a memory because it is one, she recognizes with a start, of the week before he took off and abandoned them for the very first time, leaving behind a gaping, bleeding wound that neither Sailor nor her mother ever managed to properly stitch back together.

Ryan’s smile widens. “Always got your eyes on the horizon, Starfish. Just like your old man.”

Her heart clenches at the old, familiar nickname that she hasn’t heard in years, like she’s looking at a favorite pair of childhood shoes or an old t-shirt from a family vacation long past and realizing she doesn’t fit in them anymore, that she’s moved on, and surprisingly, it doesn’t sting as much as she thought it would.

“Come on,” Her father says and when he reaches out to her, Sailor finds herself reaching back with a much smaller, eight-year old sized hand that’s swallowed by Ryan’s larger, calloused palm. “Think you can go fifteen feet today?”

“Fifteen? I’m gonna go twenty!” She declares confidently in her most grown-up voice, giggling when her dad beams and hoists her little body up into his arms, the stubble on his face tickling her skin as he plants a kiss on her cheek.

“That’s my girl.”

He runs into the surf, tossing a laughing Sailor into the ocean when it’s waist deep before they wade out, further and further until the sandy floor drops away from their feet and they’re left treading water.

“Ready, Starfish?”

“Ready!”

The sun breaks over the horizon and casts its golden light on the pair, turning their hair an identical shade of fiery red just as they dive below. She has to work harder to keep up with her father’s longer strokes but she does it and reaches the bottom the same time he does; he smiles widely and reaches out to quickly cup her cheek, pride shining clearly in his eyes and she beams back before turning away to scan the floor for any worthy shells. Finding a knobbed whelk a few feet away, she swims over to grab it before pushing off toward the surface, Ryan following close behind. The sun becomes brighter and brighter the closer she gets and just when her head breaks through the waves-

Sailor wakes.

The early morning sun shines across her eyes through the curtains as she stares up at the surfboard above her bed, the very shelf were the whelk from that day still sits, proudly displayed with her other finds. Yawning, she runs her hands over her face and blinks away the last threads of sleep still clinging to her lashes, along with the memory of her dream. Moments like that with her father were rare. Ryan was a blast to be around when he was happy doing something he wanted to do, like diving for shells, hitting up the bowling alley for a few games, or taking his old, beat up boat out into the marsh to fish for hours on end (never something mundane as doing the dishes or folding the laundry, no, those were children’s jobs and being an only kid, those responsibilities fell to Sailor.). Moments like that were when she felt that -naively, foolishly- her dad was actually proud of her, that he wasn’t horribly inconvenienced by her having the audacity to be his daughter, to be born, that maybe he loved her as much as she loved him.

Cold from a sudden shiver that runs through her body, she rolls onto her side to seek out the best human space heater she knows but her arm only finds empty sheets lacking warmth, her hand reaching for someone who’s no longer there. She frowns and sits up, fingers automatically running through her sleep mussed waves in a semi-futile attempt to fix them into something less resembling a bird’s nest. A quick check of the phone she doesn’t remember plugging in to charge reveals its just before 7 in the morning and her confusion over her missing bedmate only grows; JJ’s rarely ever conscious before 9 AM at the absolute earliest and almost never by his own volition unless surfing’s involved. Even Binx is gone from his usual spot at the end of the bed, leaving her truly alone in the tiny room.

On the floor alongside his boots, the backpack she never noticed him having yesterday is still where he dropped it with its zipper open wide, while his phone rests next to hers on the bedside table and Sailor feels an almost embarrassing wave of relief wash over her knowing he’s still here, that he didn’t just up and disappear in the middle of the night, that he stayed (of all the times he’s come to her before, only once did he leave before dawn and, after she’d frantically tracked him down at John B’s place, tears in her eyes and streaming down her face at the thought of him returning to the lion’s den that he called home, he held her close and promised to never do it again.). She pulls herself out of bed and crosses the room to pull on a random hoodie from the closet before pocketing her phone and padding into the hall, the wooden floor cool under her bare feet.

A demanding meow comes from the kitchen followed immediately by a vexed, “Binx, my dude. For the last time, you can’t have this.” JJ’s bright laugh echoes throughout the room when Binx meows again, this one more insistent than the last and the redhead smiles, quietly shuffling forward to lean against the wall. He doesn’t notice, instead holding a finger to his lips as he shushes the cat sitting on the counter beside him, then turns back to whatever he’s doing. “Be quiet, dumbass! You don’t wanna wake your mom up, do you?”

“I don’t know, sounds to me like he might need my help.”

He startles at her teasing voice, nearly dropping the butter knife in his hand as she steps forward and scoops Binx into her arms, pressing a kiss to his fuzzy cheek. “Is mean old J not feeding you, Binxy? That just won’t do!”

He rolls his eyes but the grin tugging the corners of his mouth upward betrays his amusement as he says sarcastically, “Yeah, I’m the bad guy for not giving the brat Nutella. Great.”

With a laugh, Sailor gives the cat another loving scratch behind the ears before gently setting him on the floor and hoisting herself onto the counter beside JJ, her legs swinging back and forth and lightly brushing against his side. “So...you’re up early.” She says, watching him scrape the last bit of Nutella out of the jar and smear it on some toast, another piece already made on the plate at his elbow.

“Yeah, I woke up and couldn’t go back to bed.” He shrugs, tossing the knife in the sink and the empty container into the trash; her stomach does a little flip when he brings his hand to his mouth and licks away the chocolate left behind on his thumb, then continues, “Sorry if I woke you up. I tried to be quiet but that shithead over there wouldn’t shut up.”

He nods his chin in the direction of a lounging Binx, stretched out on the back of the couch in the sun and she shakes her head. “Don’t worry, you didn’t. I-” She shrugs, too, and meets his blue-eyed gaze. “I guess I couldn’t sleep, either.”

“Bad dream?” JJ asks, holding the plate of toast out to her and she takes a piece with a grateful smile as she replies, “I’d call it more of a bittersweet memory.”

They both fall into a comfortable silence while they eat until he suddenly asks another question around a mouthful of breakfast, “About your dad?”

Sailor freezes mid-chew, her father’s green eyes flicking away from her best friend’s face toward the floor as she swallows thickly, her free hand anxiously clenching the fabric of her shorts. After a long, pregnant pause in which they finish their food and he puts the dirty plate in the sink, she finally says softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

She apologizes again, staring down at the floor and swinging her legs back and forth, her bare feet hitting the cabinet with dull thuds.

“For what?” His brow furrows in confusion while he takes a step forward to stand between her legs, one hand reaching to hook a finger under her chin and lift her head so he can look her in the eye, the other resting on her knee. “Seriously, help me out here ‘cause I’m confused as fuck.”

“Because I feel guilty, okay?” She starts, eyelids briefly closing as she takes a deep breath before snapping open again and continuing before he can interrupt, “Here I am, getting upset over a stupid dream I had about my gambling addict dad that ditched me when your dad does that,” -she points to his bruised ribs- “and this,” -her palm rests on his cheek, thumb skimming over his scabbed lip- “and God, I just-”

“Whoa, hold up there, Sail.” JJ cuts her off, his free hand joining the other in cupping her face, “Just because your dad never hit you doesn’t mean you don’t have something to be pissed about. He abandoned you, stole your mom’s money, and made you feel like shit! You have a right to be mad as fuck about it.”

“But-”

“But nothing! We’re not having a fucking competition about who has the shittiest dad,” -He smirks devilishly, brushing a wayward red curl off her forehead- “because they both suck major dick. End of story.”

In spite of herself, Sailor snickers as she winds her arms around his neck and pulls him close, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder while his own arms slide around her waist. “We should start a club.” She jokes lightly and feels his snort of laughter against her ear in response.

“‘Shitty Dad Society,’” He declares proudly, “I call being president.”

“Well, I’m your VP! Binx’s our secretary- shit, I’ll be treasurer, too ‘cause I don’t trust you with any type of financial situation at all.”

He laughs again, hand tightening its grip on her waist and she smiles into his neck as he says, “That’s fair. We should make shirts.”

They settle into another comfortable silence after that, both more than happy to relax in the other’s arms and just be. It’s one of her favorite things about..whatever they are, the ease, the contentment, the familiarity felt when they’re together are sentiments she never, ever wants to lose and a thought, an exciting, dangerous thought pops into her head: what if he never has to leave?

“Come live with me.”

“...what?”

Oh, fuck, she just said that out loud, didn’t she? Brain, enter panic mode. The redhead abruptly pulls out of his embrace and buries her already blushing face into shaking hands, closing her eyes tight for good measure, stammering between her fingers, “Nothing, nothing! I said nothing!”

“Pretty sure you said something,” His hands encircle her wrists and gently pull them down to her lap. “And it wasn’t ‘nothing.’”

She stares down at their entwined fingers resting on her thighs, the backs of his hands deliriously warm against her exposed skin and grounding her to this (scary, exciting, vulnerable) moment, and blurts out in a rush, “I said, come live here. With me.”

JJ doesn’t speak, but the way his hands almost imperceptibly tighten their hold on hers -she would’ve missed it if she hadn’t already been looking- compels her to raise her head and meet his eyes; the indescribable depth of the ocean is behind his gaze, as well as the barest hint of pure, brazen hope, and it says everything his mouth won’t.

“Remember yesterday, when you said you don’t know how much more you can take?” She asks. At his tight nod, she weaves her fingers even more intricately with his and admits softly, “Well, I’m not sure how much more I can take, either.”

Sailor’s eyes sweep over the cuts on his face with all the gentleness of a lover, his lip first, followed by the one on his cheekbone before meeting his again. “I can’t...I can’t see you hurt like this anymore.”

Blue stares into green for an insurmountable stretch of time, long enough that she starts to think that she should’ve just kept her big mouth shut, until he finally whispers, “Seriously?”

“J, I’ve never been more serious about something in my entire life. I can’t let him do this to you anymore.” She finishes with a shrug, “My mom’s never here, anyway. It’d be, uh, really nice to not be alone all the time ‘cause as much as I love him, Binx doesn’t count.”

His eyes become stormy at that casual admission of loneliness for just a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment before brightening into their natural blue, the same color of the sky on a clear day as he says simply, “Okay.”

“Seriously?” It’s her turn to ask it now and the smile that breaks over her face when he nods is one of unabashed relief; without thinking, she leans closer and presses her forehead to his. “Good.”

He smiles, too, and briefly lets his eyes fall shut at the contact as he jokes, “Just so you know, Flynn, I’m probably not gonna be the best roommate.”

“Please,” She giggles, freeing one of her hands to playfully push at his shoulder, “I live with the most spoiled, demanding cat in the world. I think I can handle you, Maybank.”

The teasing smirk on his face makes her heart beat a little faster. “We’ll see about that.”

Sailor decides to pretend she didn’t hear his loaded comment (she’s not quite ready to open up that particular can of worms just yet), instead pulling her phone from her hoodie pocket to check the time. “Alright, here’s the deal: in one,” -she glances at the time again because holy shit does she have the short-term memory of a fucking chimp- “two hours, we’re going shopping and, hey, don’t give me that look!” She laughs at the pained expression that crosses his face, “If you’re gonna live here, get ready to put in the work.”

JJ offers her a lazy salute with his free hand and she rolls her eyes, trying her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as he says coyly (again, damn him!), “Yes, ma’am.”

“Until then, though,” The redhead continues, hopping off the counter to grab his hand and starts pulling him toward the hall to her room, “We have a book to read and you have some Greek to mispronounce.”

“Fuck, you’re bossy.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

It goes like this: for nearly three weeks, life for the pair is pretty damn good. The summer days pass the same as they had been, either spent lazing around with the rest of the pogues or working their variety of jobs -Sailor at the ice cream parlor, along with her weekly shell dives and the beginner surf classes she teaches for The Sandbar, JJ at the country club and doing whatever odd jobs he can find around the island- as June slowly bleeds into July. They find themselves doing everything together: shopping, cooking dinner, sharing her tiny room, and it’s so painfully domestic, so natural and so right that it hurts to wrap her head around it.

If their friends notice, none of them comment on it, even though she sees the looks sent their way whenever they both hop out of Sailor’s truck together (most are curtesy of eagle-eyed Kiara, but Pope and even the ever oblivious John B raise their eyebrows a few times). At night they continue to read through the Percy Jackson series, taking turns reading aloud each evening and for a short, blissful time, they let go of the burdens weighing heavy on their shoulders. For a while, everything is close to perfect.

Typically, predictably, it doesn’t last and when shit finally hits the fan, it happens in epic fashion because nothing is ever easy when they’re involved.

It happens a few days after the Fourth of July. It’s late-afternoon, Hurricane Agatha brewing off the coast causing the clouds to streak faster through the sky and, with the rest of their friends working or otherwise occupied, the two teenagers decide to spend a day lounging at home, getting in a few more chapters of The Battle of the Labyrinth and drinking the beer left over from a night of partying at John B’s house.

“’Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun,’“ Sailor reads as she relaxes on the couch, book in one hand and can of PBR in the other, the wind blowing in through the open window ruffling her hair, “‘Especially when I’m wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.’“

“I’ll drink to that,” JJ says, briefly lifting his head from her lap to chug the rest of his beer before settling back down, feet propped up on the couch’s arm. They’re both a little buzzed, having lost count of how many drinks they’ve downed but she’s had enough to make her start giggling at his comment as she struggles to keep reading while Binx, fed up with the noise, jumps down from his spot behind her and slinks down the hall to find some peace and quiet.

“Damn you, stop it!” She laughs harder as he pulls a ridiculous face at her pronunciation of Daedalus, then shoots her an impish grin and she responds by ‘accidentally’ dropping the paperback on his face. Both are so caught up in hysterics that they don’t notice the sound of a car pulling into the driveway or a key unlocking the front door.

“Sailor!”

The girl freezes at her name, green eyes widening at the sharp tone of her mother’s voice. Slowly, she turns her head to look over her shoulder where she stands, arms crossed, and she’s so shocked Carmen’s actually looking her in the eye that nothing comes out of her open mouth but an oh so eloquent “huh?”

“What the hell is going on here?” The older woman demands, moving around the couch before either teenager can react, and her eyes narrow when she catches sight of JJ’s head on her daughter’s thigh and the empty beer cans on the end table. “Are you two drunk? Get up, now.”

He hastily does as she asks, eyes downcast to the floor and shaking hands clenched at his sides; ignoring her mother’s glare, Sailor deliberately reaches over and rests one palm on top of his as she says tightly, “Nice to see you home for once, I’m surprised you remembered where it is.”

It’s a low blow and she knows it but she can’t find it in her fuzzy, alcohol-numbed brain to care when Carmen reels back like she’s been slapped before she seems to compose herself, mouth pressing into a thin line. “Sailor Giselle, don’t you dare talk to your mother like that!”

The redhead feels something inside her snap and she glares up at the only parent she has left, all but spitting her next words, “Then start acting like my mother! This is the first time I’ve seen you here in four months!”

“I had to come home after Rachel told me you were shacking up with some boy! Do you have any idea-”

“Rachel?!” Sailor explodes at the mention of their obnoxiously invasive old biddy of a neighbor whose sole mission in life is knowing everyone’s business, “God, that hag just can’t keep her nose out of anything can she?”

Carmen crosses her arms once again and glowers at her daughter. “You know how hard it is for me to be in here, Sailor. I asked her to keep an eye on you for me and I’m glad I did.”

The teenager stares at her in disbelief before barking a loud, humorless laugh. “Let me get this straight: you asked our neighbor to spy on me so you didn’t have to come home...so you didn’t have to actually put in some effort?” Carmen opens her mouth to defend herself but before any words can come out, Sailor continues, throwing her free hand in the air, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“This is my house!” Her mother thunders, not noticing the way the silent blond boy flinches at her yell and how her daughter tightens her grip on his hand. “This is my house and I can do whatever I damn well please, including having someone look out for you when I can’t.”

“When you won’t, you mean.” She scoffs, shaking her head in thinly-veiled disgust, “I’m doing just fine on my own, no thanks to you, Mom.”

“Does ‘doing just fine’ mean living alone with this kid?” Carmen spits and when she glances at JJ like he’s gum on the bottom of her shoe, Sailor’s finally had enough and takes a step toward the older woman with a furious glare.

“Will you just let that go? God! He’s my best friend and he needed somewhere to stay, that’s it!”

“I don’t care.” Turning to JJ, she demands coldly, “Go pack your shit and get out.”

“No.” Green eyes hardening into chips of emerald, the redhead grabs his other hand as he goes to leave the room and steps in front of him protectively. “He’s not going anywhere.”

Carmen pinches the bridge of her nose, her voice low as she threatens, “I swear to God, Sailor, either he leaves or I’ll make him leave.”

When she feels his whole body go rigid behind her, she knows her mom’s won this particular battle and before she can even turn to face him he’s disappeared down the hall to her room without a word. Sailor whirls to face her like the wind outside, red hair flying over her shoulder like a whip as she seethes, “How dare you.”

The older woman sighs like she’s the one hurting and crosses to the window before closing it with a firm hand. “Drop it, I’m done arguing.”

“I care about him, Mom, you can’t just kick him out!”

“I said drop it! I don’t give a shit how you feel about him, I’m not having your homeless boyfriend mooching-”

“Jesus Christ -his dad beats the shit out of him!”

The words ring out like a bell, loud and clear and impossible to ignore. Carmen freezes in the middle of picking up a discarded can, tan skin turning pale as she stares, mouth slightly agape, at her daughter; the girl stares back unflinching, and despite her heart’s rapid staccato in her chest, her next words cut like a knife.

“He’s not homeless, okay? But his dad hits him, all the damn time. You’re not gonna stand by and let that happen, are you?”

Her mother’s eyes soften -for a fleeting moment, she looks like her old, caring self again- before they harden to steel, the open expression on her face slamming closed with all the force of a screen door in a hurricane.

“I’m sorry -really, I am- but that’s not my problem.”

Sailor flinches at the icy edge in her voice and looks down at the floor, jaw clenched tight as she tries to blink away the sudden burning behind her eyes. “I...I don’t know you anymore. My mother would never say that.”

She hears Carmen heave another deep sigh as her footsteps slowly head toward the front entry, “You and I have a lot to talk about when I get back from work, Sailor.” She says, followed by the snatching of keys and the door handle turning. “And that boy had better be gone when I do.”

The redhead looks up from her feet, watching the door slam behind her mother’s retreating form before hastily making her way down the hall to her room and like that morning, the wave of relief that she feels when she sees JJ still sitting on her bed, realizing he’s still here, is downright embarrassing but she’s well past the point of caring. In a flash, Sailor’s in his arms, face pressed against his neck as she cries, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Sail, you’ve gotta stop apologizing for things you can’t control.” He whispers when she eventually falls silent and she can’t stop the rough laughter bubbling in her chest, even as her whole world feels like it’s falling apart around her.

“Sorry.”

His own laugh is short and low in her ear, and then he’s pulling her closer as his hand draws soothing circles on her back. She lets herself relax for a brief moment, eyelids fluttering closed at his touch, before she takes a deep breath and pulls back to look him in the eye, hands carelessly wiping away the tears on her cheeks, “Help me pack.”

“...what?”

“When she kicked you out, she kicked me out, too.” She says matter-of-factly at JJ’s confused look while she abruptly kneels, pulling her old suitcase from under the bed and heaving it up onto the mattress.

“Okay, so she didn’t actually kick me out but she might as well have!” The redhead strides to her closet and starts picking out her favorite clothes, tossing them haphazardly onto the bed as she fumes, “God, I even told her about your dad -I’m sorry, shit I did it again- and she said she didn’t care! Not to mention she had our neighbor spy-”

“Sail!” She’s so caught up in her rant that she doesn’t notice when JJ moves to stand beside her, and only when he puts his hands on her shoulders does she stop short, a Kildare County High School sweatshirt dangling from her fingers; she can feel him watching her and when she flicks her gaze up to meet his, she’s not at all prepared for the tempest of emotions -admiration, pride, empathy, something else she can’t name- all crashing like the surf behind his eyes.

Blue. Oh so blue. It’s been her favorite color ever since she knew what colors were and she thinks her favorite shade has to be the one she finds in his eyes: bright, clear, and ever easy to drown in if she’s not careful.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He says it in such a casual way that it’s impossible to think it’s not as intentional as the fingers that slowly tuck a stray curl behind her ear and the thumb that brushes along her flushed cheek.

She just shakes her head with a tiny, bashful smile and her words are an echo of a quiet, rainy night all those weeks ago, “I’m just doing what feels right.”

They fall into an easy rhythm after that, one that helps them both sober up as they fill her suitcase to the brim with everything Sailor thinks she’ll need for a long stay, wherever she ends up. The Chateau makes the most sense of course, but with the DCS breathing down John B’s neck recently, she’s not sure how viable of an option that is but there’s one thing she knows for sure: there’s no way in hell she’s coming back here any time soon. It hurts to leave her shell collection behind -for a brief, dark moment she toys with the idea of tearing the shelf down and smashing them all until they’re turned to dust but she pushes that thought away- so she takes her favorite, the lightning whelk that reminds her of JJ and that day on the beach, and gently tucks it away in her backpack to ease the sting, as a promise to one day return for the rest.

“Jackpot!” JJ exclaims and she looks up to find him on the floor by her chair, pulling up the loose wood board that hides her secret stash of booze and money and reaching in to snag a nearly full bottle of Jack Daniels, holding it above his head with a triumphant smile.

“Shit, I forgot that was even in there,” She replies as she kneels beside him and snatches the whiskey from his hand before he can take a swig, slipping it into her backpack, “Not yet.”

“Oh, come on,” He laughs when she rolls her eyes at his pout and reaches into the dark space to pull out an old plastic lunchbox, along with a small flask that gets thrown in her bag without a second glance. “Boooo.”

“Patience,” She teases, opening the cracked lid to take all of the cash inside and stuffs it into the ziploc bag that doubles as a purse (“it’s cheap and waterproof, what more do I need?” was her argument when Kiara asked her why she didn’t have an actual handbag), which she then stuffs in her backpack. “We can get drunk after we get out of here.”

“You had me at ‘drunk,’“ He slides the floorboard back into place after Sailor tosses the empty lunchbox inside and then stands, pulling her up alongside him with his hand in hers, the other reaching out to grab the handle of her suitcase. “Ready when you are.”

The redhead takes one last look around her room, from the assortment of shells and pictures on one wall to her poster of Bethany Hamilton on the other and everything in between -her sanctuary for the longest time- before turning away from the familiar comfort of the old to face the enticing uncertainty of the new. “Let’s go.”

After a quick stop in the bathroom to grab her shampoo, conditioner, and toothbrush -no way in hell is she gonna share any of those with the boys- then the kitchen to grab some food for Binx and the cat himself from the back of the couch (surprisingly, he doesn’t put up much of a fight), they head outside and throw her suitcase and their backpacks in the bed of the truck along with her surfboard.

“John B’s probably gonna be pissed about the cat,” JJ says, leaning against the passenger door with his arms crossed, smirking as she gives him a flat look and unceremoniously dumps Binx onto the bench seat through the driver’s side window.

“Well, John B’s just gonna -stay, Binxy!- have to get used to it. I’m not leaving him behind.”

Across the street, Rachel perches on her porch as she watches the two teenagers with her beady little eyes and Sailor, feeling particularly defiant, grins wickedly. “J, watch this.” Waving to the woman to catch her attention she calls over the wind, “Hey, Rachel!” before slowly extending both middle fingers toward her, one at a time. “That one’s for my mom and this one’s for you, you nosy bitch!”

He instantly joins in and both hold their hands high, cackling with laughter, until the old crone scowls and slithers back into her house like the snake she is. “Good riddance,” the redhead says, opening the truck’s door and sliding behind the wheel, “Let’s blow this joint.”

“Joint?” JJ asks, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door behind him, Binx instantly curling up on his lap, “Did you say joint?”

“You and weed, I swear...” She laughs and goes to start the engine before she realizes she’s grasping at an empty ignition and lets her head fall against the steering wheel with a thunk, “Son of a bitch, I forgot my keys. I’ll be right back.”

Going back inside isn’t as hard as Sailor thought it would be, but leaving is a whole other ball game. She snatches her keys from the bathroom sink where she left them and heads back toward the front door; she’s just passing by their family portrait when it hits her: this is it, the last time in who knows how long she’ll be here. It’s now or never. She thinks of it as a weight on her shoulders, one that’s been dragging her down for far too long, like Atlas holding up the sky, but unlike him, she’s going to break the chains and set herself free.

In one final, sudden burst of years of anger and hurt and frustration, she rips the picture from the hook and smashes it to the floor, sending pieces of glass and wood skittering down the hall before striding from the house and all its memories without a backwards glance, slamming the door behind her with a resolute bang.

Surprisingly, John B doesn’t give a shit about the cat when they show up at the Chateau but he does give a shit about Sailor and her well-being after they give him a quick rundown of the afternoon’s happenings.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Sail?” He asks as he and JJ carry her bags into the house and deposit them in the spare room, the redhead trailing behind with Binx in her arms.

“That’s the age old question, bro,” She deflects with a shrug, taking a seat on the bed and setting the cat down beside her; he instantly takes off to explore his new home as she continues, “Who actually knows if they’re okay? What’s okay to one person can be completely different to another-”

“Sailor, seriously.”

She glances back and forth between the two boys -two sweet, caring boys- watching her with twin looks of understanding and relents. “Look, I’m still kind of...processing everything, alright? I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling and I don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to find out but I promise you,” She says softly, looking them both in the eye, “I’ll let you know if I’m not okay. Deal?”

JJ shoots her an enthusiastic thumbs up while John B opts for a simple nod and she grins before pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels from her backpack with a flourish. “Good. Now, I think we could all use a drink.”

The trio (and Binx, house thoroughly explored) bums around the living room while the afternoon slowly turns to evening, the wind outside getting worse with each passing hour the storm moves closer, passing the bottle back and forth until none of them are anywhere close to sober. What started as a game of truth or dare quickly dissolves into straight up truth as they get remarkably philosophical about what animal they’d want to be (an eagle for John B, a wolf for JJ, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, a dolphin for Sailor) and then have a deep, animated discussion about the best Star Wars movie and why it’s The Empire Strikes Back. Later, when the whiskey’s down to a few sips left and their collective demons have retreated to the very back of their minds, JJ drunkenly suggests playing strip poker and both Sailor and John B have to remind him that none of them a.) know how to play poker or b.) even own a deck of cards.

“Damn it!” The sly grin falls from his face when he realizes they’re right and he dejectedly sinks back into the couch, head coming to rest on the redhead’s shoulder. “I wanna see you take your clothes off, Flynn.”

She laughs loudly and grabs the bottle from his hand before taking a big sip and passing it to John B. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Maybank.” Whiskey, she found out few months ago, hits her hard: her filter? Gone. Blushing? Aside from the flush in her cheeks from the alcohol, gone. Self-consciousness? As long gone as her father. She’ll flirt her heart out without giving a single shit and it’s both a blessing and a curse, as well as an endless source of secondhand embarrassment in the morning.

“That’s okay, you know I like a challenge.” He declares with a wink, cracking up when she plants her hand directly on his face and pushes him off her shoulder as John B snorts and downs the last of the liquor without either of them noticing.

“Jesus, get a room,” He uses the empty bottle to point down the hall, then sets it on the side table with a hollow thunk as he leans back and stretches his arms above his head. “There’s one right there.”

Sailor gives him a swift kick in the shin with her bare foot for that, plus the shit-eating grin on his face. The trio lounges around for a little while longer, relaxing in a whiskey-induced haze; the redhead finds herself nodding off every so often, slipping back further and further until her head finds a place to rest on JJ’s lap and her legs end up on John B’s. The feel of fingers running through her hair is so feather light that she can barely keep her eyes open and before she knows it, she’s down for the count.

When she wakes some indefinite amount of time later the room is dark, the only light coming from the moon shining through the windows and John B’s gone from his spot by her feet, Binx curled up in a ball on the cushion instead. JJ’s dead asleep, hand stalled in her curls and the sight of his head tipped back against the couch with his mouth slightly open is so damn endearing that she can’t help but smile, even as she reaches a hand up to gently shake his shoulder.

“J, wake up.”

“Five more minutes.” He groans, free hand sluggishly pushing her arm away. Sailor sits up and swivels to face him before shaking him again, giggling quietly at the way his head lolls from side to side.

“Come on, the bed’s way comfier than this.”

Sleepy blue eyes open to give her a heavy look that screams both gratification and longing and so much hope as he quips, “You just want me in your bed again, don’t you?”

She reverently rolls her eyes but reaches to grab his hands anyway and pulls him to his feet, both swaying in place before they find their balance. “And if I do?”

The corner of his mouth rises in a small, adorable smile as his fingers entwine with hers. “I’d say that’s right where I want to be.”

“Well, you’re in luck ‘cause that’s where I want you to be, too.” Still a little bit tipsy, her words are honest, sincere, and as she leads him down the hall, she realizes that old saying is true: drunk words are sober thoughts. After three weeks sharing a home, a room, a bed, she just doesn’t think she can sleep without him anymore and that belief doesn’t quite scare her as much as she thought it would.

Lying wrapped up in his arms in the dark, Sailor finds herself dreaming of a future -as much of a future an impoverished, quasi-homeless, not-quite alright, not-quite-seventeen year old can dream of- with the damaged boy that holds oceans in his eyes.

A few miles away, Carmen Flynn sits on her daughter’s bed with a broken picture frame in her hands as she cries, all alone in an empty house with no idea how to make things okay again.

let me know what you think! also, fun fact: sailor compares her short-term memory to a chimp because studies have shown that chimpanzees are the absolute worst at remembering things, not goldfish as we previously thought (they can remember things for at least five months, compared to chimps who, despite their similarities to humans, forget things in about twenty seconds). sailor, being a zoology nerd, would definitely find that fascinating and make it her mission to educate the masses that goldfish aren’t that stupid jj finds it both adorable and kind of hot

taglist ❤: @sinkbeneathwaves @jiaraendgame @hmsjiara @obxsummer @maysbanks @alexa-playafricabytoto @sunflowerbecca @obxlife @obx-adventures @sexualparkour @coltonparayyko @miawantsapuppy @jjmaybanky @ethereallust

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cheolbooluvr · 3 years ago

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maybe there's just smth in the air! or maybe because its leo season, haha. i hope you're able to find some rest in between all the busyness, at least! (ooh, when do u start classes? im from the southern hemisphere so admittedly school years where summer break is mid year have baffled me a little... but i guess it'll be the same vice versa as well haha)

tell me about it... like maybe make asks the same on desktop and mobile, and while you're at it, have some kind of way of knowing if your message has sent properly like an outbox or something? maybe do that before u try to monetise your site like its patreon or kofi?

HAHAHA HIGH FIVE... it does except as a horror trope like... do the clothes get possessed? is it like a turnip head howls moving castle kind of situation? many questions to be answered. (look i like horror in theory and have always thought that I would be unstoppable if I wasn't such a big scaredy cat....) and yes it really is haha especially when it gets super cold and if you're like me u never use the heater because I mean I feel bad for how it'll impact the electricity bills and whatnot... out of curiosity tho how cold does it get where you are? do you see snow at all? omg? i mean I hope if its possible that it'll get fixed soon? it does remind me though back at my old place my ceiling was so tall and when the light died out I didn't know what to do because even on a ladder I was too short to change the light bulb... so I just... had no bedroom light for six months before my tall friend actually was like LET ME CHANGE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!

its not pressure at all! 💖 more like i want to catch up to speed so i can give more feedback when i can hehe. oh yeah absolutely, and like the thing about those nerves is that getting comments and interactions can really help! although imposter syndrome is like. one of those things where I'm like will u ever go away or is it just a constant thing forever, like it comes n goes in waves. still, I will say it makes me happy to hear that and see that you where you are today!!!!! like its so cool that even with your nerves you pushed through it and now you're at three hundred!!!!!!!! and honestly pretty much haha. and i don't want to ever stop growing as a person if that makes sense, like we'll always be going through new experiences since its impossible to experience every single thing life has to offer... so the thought of remaining unchanging after all that is... a little sad! yeah right? I think at those times I just need someone to smack my hand away from the edit button to just post haha. although it has been a while since I have posted, since i seem incapable of writing short things anymore, and all my wips are... too damn long...

omg yes i cannot remember the last time I saw a flattering flash picture it really washes everything out 😭 OHHHHHHH?????? THESE ARE SO NICE?????? I love how you framed the shots!!!!!! And idk what the technical term is but like the way the objects/subjects are laid out in each photo has been done with such a great eye? these are so satisfying to look at!!!!! especially if they're not usually the stuff you photograph! thank you so much for showing me!!!!

GOD i custom built mine but there was so many nerves involved. I did build two of mine, one like a year ago but like... when I did, it was a whole ass ordeal and ngl, i have no idea how 16 year old me managed to build her computer like I was just so scared of breaking anything djdjkddjdj but thank u for the reassurance! its genuinely a huge relief to hear that!

ah, do u mind if I ask what kind of fanart in particular? animations though!!!! doodly (why does my phone correct it to Doodlakine dhjdksjdjdskd) animations sounds so cute hehe. do you post them anywhere or is it just a personal endeavour? ahhh uke covers of svt songs sounds so lovely hehe. like the uke really makes any song additionally charming because its such a peppy sounding instrument. have u uploaded covers anywhere? it really shows how much u love art and again, I'm seriously in awe of how many areas you have practice in! also keke we have nearly the same Myers briggs type, only im an infp :') i have another leo friend that's an enfp, actually. go figure hahaha. gosh tho hard-core relate to never finishing things like that's a skill I never learnt how to master

honestly same haha. like I feel like with original work I get so caught up in like... how long it'll take for me to create characters? like even thinking about coming up with names... I am so bad at being decisive with them... at least with fanfic you can take an already existing person/character and sorta use them like a base and see how the au you put them changes them as a person, if that makes sense? it's just so much faster than me having to painstakingly go through the character making process... although if I am serious about turning my current fanfic into something I want to publish... I am going to have to change all the seventeen members I used to other names HAHA im not sure if I can get away with publishing a book and then wow what are the members of seventeen doing here????? (hehe I'm curious did your friend also write imagines back or?) ah it means so so so much to me that you'd be interested in reading my work ;_; like even the thought alone!!! hehe thank u though, I do appreciate that! its just... very interesting to me how often I've set things up so that when I have gaps I have to fill i surprisingly find out that somethings already been established to fit in that gap... or ill have questions that i can immediately answer through the lore and I dunno!!!! This story just feels different to all my past ones. I'm sending over writing motivation and inspiration and energy Right The Heck Now I hope you can feel it!!! and honestly even 1k a day is impressive haha, I do still have days that I can barely write 100, I just have to make them up another day...

ooh, and you enjoying your major? I did an elective in international studies and it was a lot of fun, and I really liked the teacher in it actually! do you major in anything else or is it just the one? and ah yes that does make sense haha. I'm glad you had fun though!

before I respond to this subject djjsjdjf when you were like 'idk if I mentioned this' but that's me when responding to messages ours included like I know if I haven't already I will repeat myself at some point because I never have a good grasp on what I have and haven't said to someone already. and that's genuinely so interesting! did tumblr also help with the anti-fanfic side of things? like for me I was exposed to reader insert at a pretty young age so that's been pretty much all of my fanfic from then on barring exceptions from like friend's work or their recommendations. I completely understand haha, a lot of my original stuff is in a similar state, and if I have written anything, it's like a short story that's of a side character or something!

yeah of course! authors in general and especially on tumblr should stick together i think!!!! because on some level we all know the pains of posting writing haha. (omg dhdjdhdhd i mean if you have an idea i am not surprised because I constantly worry about forgetting anon when I send messages to u 😭 although did anything in particular give you any hints?) but ahhhhh that's very kind of you! you're not obligated to at all hehe but I do appreciate the thought a lot! its funny too because while I have posted quite a few things... most of them have been posted in 2018 or earlier so they're all pretty old! I did post some things recently but it's not nearly the same amount as back then haha. either way! thank u for even wanting to read my work!

pain is just.... like it is pain but I always find it cathartic, you know? ooh though I can't say I've ever written anything that's made me cry!!! The most is that i have sat down recently and had a crisis over how in the fanfic I brought up, I made an original character and I'm not sure how, but I genuinely have x did nothing wrong syndrome for my own damn character, which has never happened before LMAO... BUT IM SO EXCITED FOR JUNFIC... I am tuned the heck in for u to post it whenever its done! I AM READY AND WAITING

HAHA gosh big same. although I will say you have the cool part down!!!!! I haven't seen it but I have heard of monster house.... IS Joshua in it???? lmfao I joke but that would be hilarious. I don't know how he got the weirdest murder but there it is. it was a little alarming but my body is usually weirdly good at like. waking me up if it feels like a scene is about to become a nightmare so thankfully I usually avoid the worst of it! although every few months or so I do get this super vivid nightmare... which i suppose is the trade off???? but thank u I was genuinely so annoyed at him HAHAHA before it faded away because I was like well, I can't really do anything with my annoyance for dream wonwoo... supposedly writing a dream journal helps with remembering dreams although it is funny rereading them after the fact and seeing how little sense I make when I just woke up. omg slow mo running when you're being chased is the WORST though, like how are u meant to escape with speed like that... and thank u for the validation HAHA like I dunno why svt keep trying to kill me in my dreams

ooh, that's so cool though? are they a theatre actor or a film/tv actor or? neither can I, but what I've heard about Joshua is that he was pretty much your average guy in high school... and from my friend who knows someone that back up danced for seventeen, they're are just as polite and friendly as everyone says, which is nice to hear!

it is sad! A little like drifting away from a friend, but I do completely understand. obviously I'm all for musical development but if u lose interest u lose interest you know!

that makes sense! I wish you luck for whenever that happens hehe, all my friends have been moving out recently!! have you picked out any names for your future pug yet? also same my mom hates pets as well haha but I could technically get one now... I just want to be in a better financial situation first!!!

hahaha omg that would be a lot of fun though, like watching two leos try to out compete each other! I would pay to watch tbh... oooh that's a lot of fire in your chart! very nice! but it is fun how it links up to your big three like that! i love those kinda coincidences, although since no one in svt is a pisces sun I sadly do not share the same experience 😔 I am with u on that though! I just think its fun the way personality quizzes are, you know? HAHA omg... i understand completely like i say this in the most loving way but jeonghan.. is such a scheming schemer sometimes

they're a lot of fun! although I've watched so many that sometimes they can repeat stuff haha. like so many of em have that time hao went through the haunted building on his own and dunked on all the guys there... or wonwoos [deep voice] tasty... eggzackle is so cute dhdjdkjdjdkd especially because i love eggs in all forms... fried, boiled, mixed into batter... LACK TOES AND TALLER AUNT... DHDJDKDHD.... tbh I think it should be spelt like this for real from now on and u can quote me on that

I DONT KNOW BUT IT WIGS ME OUT A LITTLE SOMETIMES ... like people walking around talking about how its a dream... like straight up i dream about my best friend from high school and we're catching up in the dream and I'll be like you know I'm really glad we're hanging out I've been getting dreams about hanging out with u BUT ITS ALL A DREAM LIKE HOW DO I PROCESS THAT... and thank u there will be snacks and drinks provided! you'll have a front row seat reserved! god anyone in general tbh like that special video made me lose my mind a little bit... I must away...

yeah hehe! I wrote quite a lot before chickening out at the climax of the story but even so I still love boom boom for the inspiration it gave me! and once again 😭 you're too kind! I'll definitely feel comfortable sharing but like no pressure or anything! although I checked how long ago I posted it and JDJDKSJSJS i uploaded it in 2017...... FOUR YEARS AGO................. my writing has changed a lot since then HAHA but I was... thinking of rewriting this boom boom fic to reflect my newer writing style!!!! swimming fool is peak summer fun haha, even the choreo is a lot of fun to watch! also question i must ask... which unit is your favourite?

junhaos my i should be immortalised in sculpture and placed in a museum and that's just the truth!!!!! I said what I said!!!! and id say I agree with u, but with so many perf unit faves id probably come off as biased haha. and yes I do know I think??? I believe it was your name?????

- 😺 carat anon

ugh idk what it is but i need time to slow down a bit D: i start classes in 2 weeks on the 23rd! i checked my schedule bc i totes forgot what class i was taking, but i'm taking a marketing class which might be fun?? idk who knows honestly i wanna drop out but whatever. OH! southern hemi!! honestly? american education system lowkey doesn't make sense in general so i don't blame you there.

yeah tumblr plz get your $#!t together first smh. omg wait yeah that's a great idea bc the amount of times i wasn't sure i sent my assigned blog an ask akfjadlfj UGH whatever, i don't think anyone on here actually supports plus posts so i'll just let it die like it's supposed to. YA HEAR THAT TUMBLR???? STAY IN YO LANE.

OMG TURNIP HEAD <333 plz i am the biggest scaredy cat and am the first to go in a horror situation? i'm the one who tries to talk everyone out of doing whatever stupid thing they want to do, and then somehow i still get dragged into it and STILL die first. bye.

but YEAH OMG it's like a DIY weighted blanket!! why use a heater when you can sleep under a huge pile of clothes :D oh it actually gets pretty cold where i am! i technically live in a desert, but what ppl don't realize is that deserts get cold, too. it's very dry here, so it gets to -9 degrees C??? idk how to do the degree thing, but i figure since you're not in america, F probably isn't a good gauge. but yeah, it gets cold and we do get snow!!! it snowed so much earlier this year, oh i loved it so much. i wrote a wonwoo drabble(?) based on it, and ugh. snow is so romantic to me :') it's just so pretty, and the crunching under your feet when you walk...ugh. love it. love it it so freaking much!

omg yeah so obvi, again i have been slacking w my asks so this is v late, but i got the light fixed! my neighbor fixed it for me thank the lord. THANK GOD FOR TALL FRIENDS!!!!! GLAD THEY WERE THERE TO HELP bc omg i would just be so dramatic abt it. i'd be like, 'oh no i'm dying, i can't seeeeeee~~!!!' anyways.

EEP THANK YOU <333 i am giving you virtual hugs and love bc it rly does mean a lot to me :( yeah plz, imposter syndrome GO AWAY!!! it totally does come and go in waves, i felt that hard. nothing, and i mean nothing, irks me more than ppl who refuse to change and grow. it's truly one of my biggest pet peeves. UGH DON'T GET ME STARTED CUZ I'LL GO OFF FOREVER >:[ it is sad tho, like hello, you could be changing for the better, but you just choose to stay the same ol stale boring person??? okay, fine whatever your loss -_-

nothing wrong w long wips!! i am seeing the joy of writing long fics now (thank u jun) but damn my brain was all over the place! esp bc i don't write in chronological order. but plz if you ever feel like sharing, my dms are open always and i rly would love to read your work <33

AHHHH THANK YOU!!! the technical term would be composition :D you're so sweet omg :((( i rly just love capturing candid moments the most, seeing ppl be happy...i rly do have so much love for photography and the way it has shifted the way i see things. it was my pleasure!! i might have to revamp my photography sideblog and post those there LOL (so actually, this is my return to tumblr since like...2012 and i had a photography sideblog and that just never took off, but hmm....thinking......)

OMG YEAH WOW GO YOU FOR BUILDING YOUR OWN PC THAT'S SO IMPRESSIVE. plz i had to text my friend and have him walk me thru what cables i'm supposed to buy bc aha LOL i bought an extra hard drive and no extra cables for the motherboard :D but he's giving me some extra, so we're good there!!

oh for sure! also svt fanart LOL i've really jumped into the deep end w them afkladjffkds. but yeah it's fun!! i've posted a lot of stuff on my stan twt LOL so they are on the internet! i'd be happy to share them once we do the big reveal or smth :D yessss i love the uke, and actually i used to play the violin, and i'd love fidgeting w it and plucking it like it was a guitar, and i tried to play guitar but my fingers are not flexible enough, so uke it was! and it's so easy to learn. oh! my covers are also on twt but honestly, they're not that good lol. i'm not rly a singer, tho i'm not tone deaf at least (i hope). but i'm trying my hardest to learn bc i love singing T^T

OMG ANOTHER INFP i swear everyone i know is an infp??? my sister jokes abt how she collects enfps, so maybe i collect infps??? it only makes sense hehe BUT YEAH WHAT IS IT W US XNFPS NEVER FINISHING STUFF AFKJADKLJADL my brain is always just like hey wait what if you do this, and i'm like oooh interesting, and in the middle of that, my brain is like OOH WHAT ABT THIS and i'm like okay but can i finish??? and my brain goes, but WHAT IF and then i'm forced to think abt it until i forget abt my current idea

OH MAN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS ARE SO HARD. i talked abt this a lot w one of my friends, but i like fanfic bc i can just base characters off real ppl and it's so much easier but, ask me to do world building on my own??? phew that'll take YEARS. but yeah omg i think changing the names should be easy right?? just find and replace them LOL i rly hope you get to publish! i was talking to some folks today abt if their dream was ever to be an author, and it was interesting, some said yes, some said no. but for me, i would love to see my name on book shelves :'] idk i think it would be rly fun!!

my friend kinda would, but it was mostly me! and that was all fine by me, i rly didn't mind. but yes!! if you're comfy sharing, plz i would love to read :))) i need to read more, honestly. just in general. i don't do it enough LOL (how tf am i supposed to be a published author if i don't read other ppl's works akljdalkds). but thank you!!! and sending all that energy back to you as well!!! <33

my major was fun!! it was nice bc we basically got to pick our courses to our own interests, so it was great having that freedom in my undergrad studies. that was my major, i also minored in mandarin chinese!! language :] and now i'm getting a masters of business administration so i can make money T^T

no yeah i completely agree lol i'm like...this feels familiar...turns out i mentioned it already LMFAO HELP. but yeah i think tumblr did help!! i was suuuuper reluctant at first like, ugh, reader inserts can't be good -_- BUT THEY CAN BE AND THEY ARE!!!!!!!! oooh that's awesome that you've been reading reader insert since you were young!! kinda wish i did too, tbh. i wonder if that would have jumpstarted my writing career at all. oh well.

oh!! maybe i should try writing side stories for my characters just to establish their back story :o that's such a good idea omg thank you for that!

OMG YES I AGREE. man, i rly had no idea what authors go thru, but now...now i'm feeling it. the post writing pain is so true. or even pain during writing like writer's block UGH.

okay so i had an idea, but now i'm not sure anymore given your timezone LOL. so it's back to the drawing board :{ but also i like surprises so i'm not gonna spoil this for myself hehe

but yes omg i can't wait to find out who you are so i can read them!! even if it's old, it would be so awesome to see how your writing style has changed! and ofc it's a pleasure! but only share if you feel comfy, otherwise i won't bug you too much abt it :)

we love pain in this house!! i rly do love things that make me cry and hurt LOL so 100% agree w you on the catharsis it brings. i told someone i cry to relieve stress and they were like....r u ok.... and i was like yeah, that's eggzacklee why i'm good yo. i let out my emotions like that smh. omg noooo that sounds stressful but i love when you write smth and you make yourself feel things hahahaha like damn wow that has to be one of the most fun things abt writing imo. i mean, they say write the stories you want to read, right?

BUT AH I'M ANSWERING THIS BY THE TIME JUN FIC IS OUT SO I'M SORRY AGAIN THAT I'M LATE BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!! it's definitely painful, and so far the general consensus is that it has made ppl cry.... so.....uh...take that as a warning haha :]

joshua is the house yes. so it makes perfect sense why you had that dream. LOL JK but that is so strange but also hilarious like WHY IS HE A HOUSE HELP but also. i can't talk bc my brain does weird things at night too. omg is it a recurring nightmare??? that's terrifying. also, on the subject of sleep/dreams, have you ever been in sleep paralysis? and can you lucid dream at all?

yeah i used to record my dreams, but lately i haven't and i miss vivid dreaming so much :( i love re-reading my dreams bc then i remember them exactly and sometimes i have these rly lovely dreams and it's my short escape from reality lol. but yeah omg, idk why, i always escape bc luckily i am semi-conscious in my dreams and i'm like oh they'll never catch me. and they don't so, smth is working! yeah i'll fight svt w you, like how dare you fight my friend!!!! SMH.

my friend is a film/tv actor! pretty cool stuff, he was actually in an oscar winning movie so that's cool!! but aww that's cute :[ i like the idea of average joshua, that makes me rly happy for some reason hahaha. but that's great omg i'm glad. they rly do seem just like genuinely kind ppl. you know how sometimes you look at idols, and you just kinda get the vibes that they're...bratty or the vibe is off? like if you met them irl, it wouldn't be pleasant? i def don't get that w svt.

oh yeah, i always joke that they're my ex-bfs lol. it rly feels that way, and i wish i didn't feel this way, but you're right. and life goes on (by bts LOL).

no names yet, i think i need to see my pupper first before i give them a name! it'll probably come to me then :) but maybe smth epic would be cool, or maybe greek myth names cuz i am a sucker for mythology!! also random, but i was answering this ask on my desktop and i hit the word limit!!! jkdhaskfjas stupid t*mblr. but yeah, totally agree w that. i want to be more financially stable than i am rn. i rly rly want a big doggy tho :(((( but that’s expensive T^T

it’s interesting how ppl perceive me to be very put together and organized, but i’m so…chaotic a lot of the time. I LOVE PERSONALITY QUIZZES OMG they are fun. we had to do some at my work and i was SUPER EXCITED bc i was like omg this is my shit. and it lines up so well w who i am and helping me further understand the person i could be.

oh jeonghan is my enemy >:[ (affectionate). i will fight him knowing i would lose, but i’d do it anyway. OMG MINGHAO IN THE TAG IS SO CUTE PLZ I LOVE HIM SM. and tasty is so iconic but also i can’t help but just lose my shit anytime i hear him say it lmfao

OMG SO META THAT’S TRULY AMAZING I LOVE YOUR BRAIN. like i mentioned a little earlier, i am semi-aware i’m dreaming but never enough to be like, yeah, this is a dream and we’re in a dream and i’m dreaming of you, so that’s rly freaking cool.

YAY SNACKS AND DRINKS I CAN’T WAIT!!!! omg anyone. special. video. BYE. race car driver!svt is so UGH. I’M UPSET T^T they rly did not have to look that good. like at all. unwarranted. out of pocket. hate them for it.

wahhhh i hope you get to revisit it soon!! plz i want to read it, i’m super curious what kind of story boom boom could have sparked! :D but yeah, if you wanna rewrite it before sharing or smth, that’s totes good w me, whatever you’d like!! 4 years is a long time, and honestly i’m sure i’ll want to rewrite a lot of my fics in 4 years LOL

which unit T^T this is honestly so hard bc like i love all of them??? but……..i think i love performance unit’s songs the most?? 247, lilili yabbay, my i (junhao but close enough), swimming fool, shhh, wave. and their performances too??? SO GOOD PLZ. but i have so much love for vocal and hip hop unit bc obvi…cheol…and boo…….luvr…..aha…that’s me……what abt you?? (i’m guessing also perf unit LOL) wait did i ever ask you who your biases were??? are they…junhao mayhaps?

BUT SPEAKING OF JUNHAO—OMG JUNHAO MY I AS A SCULPTURE?! PLZ I WANT THAT!!!! for a second i was like…what about my name…..but then i realized you meant YOUR NAME the anime and oh my god that’s my sister’s fave movie. she LOVES that movie. i do too. it’s so good and so beautiful and the story line. ugh. that’s like a happy pain, ya know??? so good T^T

#cheolbooluvr asks #😺 carat anon #carat anon event 💎

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noisyquokka · 6 years ago

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50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @sapphirebluemt thank you lovely! 💛💕 I'm doing this while very tired (literally 5am) and on my phone, so uh... If I don't save draft and proof read beforehand please bear with me!

1. What takes too much of your time?

Day dreaming and worrying. So much worrying...

2. What makes your day better?

Knowing that I'm cared for and appreciated by someone who means a lot to me. And food 😅

3. What's the best thing that happened to you today?

One of the horses at our rescue followed me around the pasture the entire time I was out there and I'd be damned if I didn't melt! Mayhaps I really missed working on a farm 🤗

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Questions like these are hard cause I'm over here like okay the maze runner universe would be pretty dope, but what about shadow hunters! Oof wHat AboUt TeEN WoLf!! The possibilities are endless! :0

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Mm yeah, sometimes. Other times I feel like my advice is complete shit lmao.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Depression and Anxiety, both diagnosed.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yeah, shit can be terrifying ngl! 😞

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I feel like Shawn Mendes really inspired me the most. I know there's a good handful of people that became famous from song covers on YouTube and all that, but I really like the way Shawn Mendes has stuck to him and his guitar for the most part, especially on tour. His voice is something relaxing and unique that I can get behind. And he's such a down to earth person, I'd love to meet him sometime and tell him he's doing amazing and how much he's helped me through his music!

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yeah, you know how it goes 😶

10. What's your dream date?

Honestly? Roadtripping to the desert or anywhere that's far from light pollution and spending a night under the stars. Just talking and tangled in each other, sometimes just staying silent and listening to the sounds of the night around us. Maybe our playlist is playing softly in the background and the campfire we started has burned out hours ago, while we lay on the trucks tailgate admiring the sky. Oof, I'm gonna cry I want this so bad 😭

11. What do others notice about you?

Weirdly, my nose? Literally everyone always talks about my nose! I don't know why but it's kinda weird. And my eyes.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Always thinking I'm not good enough. Annoys almost everyone I've met lmao!!!

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yeah, we talk almost every day! We're still great friends 😊

14. How many ex's do you have?

4. And number 4 was one hell of a joke, holy hell! So 5th times a charm? 🤣

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Roughly 3200. I'm always adding new music!

16. What instruments can you play?

Guitar, violin (although it's been a while, I'm probably rusty as hell!), a bit of clarinet and a bit of piano. I was learning piano before I left for college, I wish I would've picked it up earlier :(

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

Uhhh.... probably Hyunjin and Wonpil if I'm honest. My phone is just kpop boys n gals and I'm happy with myself 😁

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Back to my roots! I'd love to go to Poland, Hungary, and Wales. And Iceland or Norway just because the landscapes are so beautiful there and I just wanna see it with my own eyes!

19. What is your zodiac?

Taurus 🐮

20. Do you relate to it?

Here and there, yeah. But I can't say I'm a Taurus through and through. Some of the traits that are tied to my sun sign aren't tied to me individually. As example, Possessive is one of them that I am not!

21. What is happiness to you?

To me, happiness is seeing someone else near and dear to your heart smiling and happy themselves. Even if it's not your doing. You're just happy to see them happy!

22. Are you going through anything right now?

A lot, yes. Partially why I haven't been as active on tumblr as I'd like to be.

23. What's the worst decision you've ever made?

Letting people walk all over me because I'm too nice sometimes.

24. What's your favorite store?

Vidlers! I used to go in there a lot when I was a kid and they had this popcorn maker that always made the store smell like fresh popcorn! Ahh that takes me home 😄

25. What's your opinion on abortion?

I think it all depends on the situation. If a young female is raped or wasn't educated properly about safe/protected sex, then I'd say she's more than free to go through with it. But of course, if you're gonna fool around yet know about protected sex, and not use a condom? I think that's your personal problem and you should experience what other mother's who have planned to have kids have gone through. But again, I personally think abortion depends on the situation and shouldn't be the easy way out.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Yeah! And the list gets longer and longer and longer....

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Nah, I've got too much music to have a specific favorite album!

28. What do you want for your birthday?

The jackpot 😂 or just to spend time with my parents and see my dogs again! It's been literal months 😣

29. What are most people's first impression of you?

Standoffish because I'm very shy and awkward as hell around strangers.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Everyone always thinks I'm older than I really am! I'll be 19 in May but everyone's gonna be like "are you 22?" NO why do you think that?! I FEEL LIKE IM STILL 14!

31. Where do you keep your phone while you're sleeping?

On my nightstand, otherwise I'd lose it between my mattress and headboard 😅

32. What word do you say the most?

I say "Like" so much! I don't even mean to!

33. What's the oldest age you would date?

See, being older doesn't bother me much. I'd probably date a 25 year old if I'm honest (5 years older). I guess I'd just have to feel comfortable enough around them!

34. What's the youngest age you would date?

Probably at lest 16? I don't know, younger is a hard one for me just cause age and bleh!! Maybe 17... two years is better for me personally...

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

All my friends know that I'm good with kids and so I'm instantly suited and qualified to be a teacher?! But I'd rather not cause kids today 😩 I'd probably end up hurting their ego in front of their classmates if they showed me any disrespect lmao. And almost everyone who has heard me sing (like really seriously sing, I'm also a huge dork and purposefully sing off key a lot) have said I could be a singer but I can't sing in front of large crowds so 🤷‍♀️

36. What's your favorite music genre?

Pop or Country, undecided here!

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Probably Norway or Hungary. I love beautiful landscapes!

38. What is your current favorite song?

Miroh or Boxer from Stray Kids' new album 🤙

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I started it in January, so just about 3 months!

40. What are you excited for?

The weekend, I go back to college classes today and tomorrow 😣

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I'm 50/50

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Washed the dishes.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

A parrot, lump sum of money, maybe a poodle. Smack me now I'm being greedy lmao

44. What classes do you get the best grades in?

Biochem and Lit

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

2; I want to sleep but can't. Someone just knock me out!

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

29 years old? Stable career, maybe building or buying a house, possibly married although I'm not really worried about that? Maybe in a happy healthy relationship, with a rescue dog or cat.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

Year and a half ago.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

As I said before, I don't really care if I marry or not. But if I did find someone I'd want to marry, generally speaking, around 30 would be a good age for me. I'd want to make sure I'm financially stable and happy where I am in my life before taking such a step like marriage.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

First it was Figure skater, then I wanted to be an Equestrian. I stuck with the animal career cause I wanted to be a vet, and here I am in college for that exact reason!

50. What do you crave right now?

The sweet embrace of death, since sleep would rather screen my calls. That bitch! Insomnia's there for me more than sleep is 😑

Tagging: @janarine @sanflovver @ateeztiny @visualgiggles @jisunday and anyone else who'd like to do this!

#k's been tagged!#and k's low key dying #exhaustion has never looked so good #i bet i look like a squid sucked my under eye bags #save me 🙃

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

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solfeggioninja · 6 years ago

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hey all EVEN the unusual asks

is your room messy or clean?

Messy. So, so so so messy.....

do you like your name? why?

Yeah! I mean.....ultimately, I can’t imagine myself named something else.

6.describe your personality in 3 words or less

Dumb Bitch Syndrome

what kind of car do you drive? color?

I drive a 2003 Toyota Camry, it’s green. I secretly call her Nessie but only in my heart.

how would you describe your style?Non-existent! Most of my clothes are hand me downs, and I very rarely go shopping. I guess, casual if I had to put a name on it? idek.

what size bed do you have?A double. The other half is my cat’s side of the bed.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?I truly......don’t care? As long as I can hang with people I like.

favorite makeup brand(s)ELF because I am cheap and like elves

favorite tv show?I....don’t know.....hmmmmmm I...recently finished Adventure Time and I find it has a quality to it that’s difficult to find somewhere else.

how tall are you?I am 5′9″. Just barely taller than average.

do you go to the gym?LOL. No. Sadly, I plan to at some point.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?$0.00

how many pillows do you sleep with?2. 3 on my bed, but that’s my cat’s pillow.

how many friends do you have?Depends how you define friends? Like....I have 10ish probably?

whats your favorite candle scent?I don’t have one? I either like or hate candle scents I think lol.

3 favorite girl namesI was not prepared for this. UHHHHHHHHH PASS??

favorite actress?Don’t have one, next question!

favorite movie?mmmmmm I’m not sure. I guess Men in Tights?

money or brains?Again, depends? How much money are we talking here? How smart?? Is this for me or for a love interest? Cause I am dumb and love the idea of dumb people but.........meh.

how many times have you been to the hospital?I was born once. And I went to visit my cousin and her baby once. I’ve visited a grandparent/aunt. I took my aunt to the hospital fairly often?

do you take any medications daily?Nope!

what is your biggest fear?Mothra, I guess? That’s the largest thing I can think of. I....dislike moths. But I’m fine looking at them like, I just don’t want to break them their wings are so soft and seem so fragile. Also that I’m actually a huge asshole and no one actually likes me or that I’m unlovable in a romantic sense or whatever

whats your go to hair style?Whatever is easiest!

who is your role model?I don’t have one! I actually had a weird conversation with someone about it, but ultimately...like, if you admire a quality in someone, and want to be like that....just do it? It takes conscious effort, sure, but like....just do it.

what was the last text you sent?"Because it’s a double shift, morning and evening.” (for work)

what is your dream car?I like Niisan Rogues.....because I like that style of car and I like Rogues.

do you go to college?No!

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?Rural!

do you have freckles?Nope!

how many pictures do you have on your phone?AHAHAHAHAHAHA. 4,057! do you still watch cartoons?Yes, very often!

Favorite dipping sauce?mmmmmm depends on what I’m eating? Ranch or Honey Mustard?

have you ever won a spelling bee?no! In Second Grade, I didn’t know how to spell Picnic.

can you draw?kind of!

what was the last concert you saw?The only concert I’ve ever been to was Dolly Parton in 2006.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Starbucks. I’ve never been to Dunkin and also don’t like coffee lol

what is your crush’s first and last initial?N.E. (Non-Existent)

what color looks best on you?I have no idea!

do you sleep with your door open or closed?Open! Because Cat!

what is your biggest pet peeve?Mmmmmm I’m pretty chill, but when people use the snot bubble emoji as a crying emoji I have to laugh.

favorite ice cream flavor?I’m a vanilla bitch.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?If I had to, rainbow, but I don’t like sprinkles really

what is your phone background?Florence Welsh.

do you like it when people play with your hair?yesssssss. I love it, ngl. Hey, someone, play with my hair please and thank.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Technically yes, but not nearly as often as I should.

have you ever been drunk?yes.

favorite lyrics right nowWrap me up in chains, with the magic words you sayI can use my brains, I can make a get awayBut I will be your volunteer,if you make this love disappearlike magic. (x)

day or night?Night! The sun is Too Bright.

favorite month?Weird question, but I guess march?who was the last person you cried in front of?Does my cat count? I don’t remember the last time I like....cry cried. Misty eyed, sure. also I hate crying and try so so hard not to in front of people.

#THANKS #JUNK MAIL #crystallhearts

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lovelybabsblogs · 4 years ago

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💚Things I did to pass quarantine 💚

So I know quarantine is pretty much over so these aren’t very in the moment topics like other’s but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever

1. This first thing is pretty basic, I slept.... Let me explain. Being in high school was stressful for me and I barely got enough to make it through the day and focus on my work. When quarantine/ lockdown happened pretty much every school had to do their studies online. I took the time and finished my weeks worth of work in less than two days turned it in and slept. This helped me restore my energy completely and gave me a lot of free time

2. I binged over 3 shows on Netflix and 5 anime series ^^ nothing to explain there. My friends would tell me how great all these shows were but I never had time, now that we’re stuck inside I had to reason not to. And if you were wondering yes I love anime.

3. I did a 10 minute Workout everyday for 2 months out of the lockdown. All that show binging, sitting on my butt and blind eating added more than a few pounds on me, so I decided to workout 10 in the afternoon when I’m the most active and eat only fruits and vegetables. Now I wouldn’t call it a diet per say because I did eat some junkfood. But I did go from 215lb to 180lb last time I checked (last week)

4. I hung out with my pets. Being unable to hangout with my friends did bore me ngl. I do have cats and dogs but I don’t really spend time with them being busy and all, since I had nothing to do I decided to play with them and I enjoyed it more than I thought. Before you say anything I don’t neglect my pets, they mind their business and I mind mine, when they want attention I give it.

5. I cleaned out my closet. Being inside in summer was bad enough but I’m turning 18 and my wardrobe is the clothes I’ve had since freshman year (T_T). Now that I work and can afford my own clothes I don’t need half the things in my closet. However I realized I don’t have anymore space for anything else anymore, so I took all my clothes out and matched as many outfits as I could then gave away the other clothes to younger family members and thrift stores.

6. I connect with my friends. I love my friends the are family to me, in school we sit at lunch together and have classes together. so through out the lockdown we’d call and text each other asking how they were also Me and my friends have a group chat for texting and sending funny pic and videos.

7. Played some video games. I love video games so I downloaded a hefty few and played them for hours and hours. Mainly first person shooters, lift simulators and Virtual reality and role playing games. It feels great to escape this corona filled world and just create or live in a virtual one.

8. A personal at home spa day. Yeah yeah I know “you can do that any day you want” but so me I always have a deadline to relax or how long I can’t relax until someone in my house tells me to get up or just stresses me out more. What I do is take a hot bath with lavender bath salts and cherry blossom bubble bath while I have some hot passionflower or chamomile tea. I then paint my nails with a nude color and do my hair wrapping it in a bun or I tie it up out of my face, after that I do my normal skincare routine but I but a face and lip mask on. All of that takes about 2 to 3 hours, yes I know along time but it’s so relaxing and stress releasing. Highly recommend!

Well that seems to be all I’ve got to talk about today ^^ what did you do during lockdown? I know lockdown is still happening in other places then where I live and my heart goes out to all of you. Makes sure to keep your distance, Keep your hands washed, Disinfect all surfaces, and don’t touch your face.

❤️By beautiful babies and see you tomorrow!❤️

#quarantine #coronavirus #thingstodo #spa day #self love #beauty tips #netflix #anime #workout #pets #fashion #games

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manetsgarden · 7 years ago

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Let Blogmas Begin! I thought a nice way to kick off December would be a little bit of inspiration for those of you who aren’t sure how to spend your extra time, or how to get into the holiday spirit! All of these are going to be fairly low-budget because let’s face it, I’m low budget. Here we go:

GO THRIFTING! Either alone or with a friend, find the most ridiculous and wonderful things for cheap – bonus points if you find a killer holiday sweater.

Harry Potter Movie Marathon. This is a must for anyone that has more than a few days off. Even if you’ve never seen it, do it. Trust me. Bonus points for lots of snacks, extra points if they’re homemade.

BETTER YET: Read Harry Potter. Or any other book, I just feel like Harry Potter has a holiday feel to it. My favourite is the Prisoner of Azkaban but you can’t really start in the middle if you haven’t read it before so….. The Philosopher’s Stone it is!

Make a moodboard about literally anything you want. Holiday party moodboard? Do it. Fashion inspiration moodboard? Get! That! Blogging inspiration board? WONDERFUL IDEA. Mood! Board! It! Up! It’s such a fun way to self reflect AND get crafty. Win, win.

GO ICE SKATING! Ohhhhh it’s getting wintery up in here now. Ice skating isn’t quite so cheap if you don’t have skates but it’s FUN! Best part of skating: super fun and great work out if you know how to do it AND if you don’t then there’s only super cute and funny times to be had. Bonus points if you know how to play hockey and you scrimmage when you skate (someone do this with me please).

An hour long (at least) dance party. Alone. In your room. Bonus points if it’s to Taylor Swift’s new album cause that’s where I’m at currently. Seriously, I’m bopping as I type this. I guess bonus points if it’s Christmas music too but I can’t really get down to that. Except Text Me Marry Christmas – ICONIC SONG.

Go through an old photo album (or your Facebook profile) because SO MANY LAUGHS. This one is for the days you don’t want to leave the house but your brain feels like it will melt if you watch anymore Netflix. Photo albums are simultaneously hilarious and nostalgic and they’ll make you ugly cry and snicker at the same time, and there’s nothing better than that.

Make yourself the best, most ultimate, rich and luxurious hot chocolate you could possibly have. You’re going to want it so over the top you’re going to question yourself whether you got this baby from Serendipity 3. I’m thinking whippsed cream, I’m thinking marshmallows, I’m thinking peppermint sprinkles, chocolate shavings, a candy cane and stick of cinnamon. TREAT YO SELF, HOLIDAY STYLE.

Visit your grandparents if they’re still around. If not, spend time writing a letter to someone you love that lives far away. If neither of these apply to you, find a dog and hug it. If you’re not a dog person I don’t know what to tell you ’cause I’ve never seen a cat hug. Just spread some love to people who always love on you and maybe don’t always get alllll the love they deserve back. It makes a difference to them, I promise.

Girls night with wine and cheese and glitter and gossip. Everyone needs a stupid write off night with their friends every once in awhile – especially after a loooooong semester.

I for real just scrolled up to make sure I didn’t promise these would be fun (and I didn’t)…ready for it? CLEAN UP! One of the benefits of having a lil extra time is to have time to clean up the clutter and chaos in your life, so if you’re not there yet, here’s your reminder. Clean your room, wash your sheets, throw out things you don’t need anymore, reorganise, revitalise, REINVIGORATE! I’ll be fun now ok.

Go for a hike with a friend! (Even if they’re furry! Bonus points if they’re furry!) In my case this hike involves snowshoes but usually that just means double the laughs every time one falls off or I fall over. There’s something reeeeally nice about getting outside when it’s snowy and cold and taking in the nature after you’ve been holed up inside for awhile.

Practice your Christmas/NYE makeup or hair ~look~. I just think it’s fun to play around with makeup, and it’s nice to get the hang of a look that’s a little more ~out there~ than usual. Also it’s fun to get dressed up and feel fancy so do it up! Then take 50 selfies and bask in your own gloriousness, you go. (I just googled if that’s how you spell bask lol)

Bake some mf christmas cookies. Who cares if you celebrate christmas bc cookies, cookies are for everyone. I’m talking shortbread, I’m talking christmas spices, cookies shaped like trees and snowmen are here for EVERYONE and they are delicious. I’m invisioning biting of the snowman’s head and I’m filled with glee. This is what the holidays are about. My favourite recipe is, you guessed it, Taylor Swift’s Chai Sugar Cookies. I’m coming off like a crazy swiftie aren’t I? This is a side you’ve never seen of me.

Do a puzzle. That’s right, I’m bringing back puzzles. Listen guys, puzzles are GREAT. I rediscovered this a few years ago when at an impromptu girls night my friends and I decided to do a puzzle and listen to – guess who? – old T-Swift. It was wonderful. I bought a Christmas puzzle and my mom and I are already planning it out – because yes puzzles needed planning. We don’t mess around.

Go to a Christmas or craft market. Best thing about these is that there’s no pressure to purchase, so you can get a coffee and browse around looking at all the wonderful little things and just take in the ambiance. 10/10 holiday thing to do.

Bubble bath time – I really want to use a bad word but then I think, what if my little cousins find my blog? What if I become really famous for an unknown reason and then I’m scrutinized for things like this? Anyways. Bubble baths are pretty straight forward, you know what you like. Note: no bubbles are necessary, perhaps a lush bath bomb is more your speed, or a little Epsom salt. You do you, get a lil drink, get a good book (or Netflix show and set that laptop up on your toilet) and relax because it’s December, school is done for now and you have no responsibilities. The world is wonderful.

For month-long entertainment, go pick up a disposable camera. Haven’t you watched Stranger Things? Retro is in. Seriously these are pretty cheep and they’re fun to have around and pick special moments to document! You can easily play around with film photography and also make funny memories (because people will laugh when you whip yours out).

Spend some time catching up on your journal (ngl this is more of a personal reminder ha), or if you’re into it, google up some writing prompts and get CREATIVE! I know this isn’t for everyone but I love it. Writing prompts can be great to get them creative juices flowing. I dare you to write something inspired by these prompts (I’m looking @ you Taylor. Write a song about me already).

Learn all the lyrics to a new song. Bonus points if you do it with a sister/sibling/friend. My sister and I used to sit with a pen and notepad and listen to songs at caterpillar speed, write out the lyrics, and then learn them all. This is how I learned how to sing The Element Song – one of my greater talents, Dan Rad doesn’t have anything on me. Nowadays you can easily Google it but is it just me or is it getting harder to remember lyrics? Am I getting old?? Bonus points if you can play an instrument on there (I’m doing New Years Day on piano. I can’t play piano).

Take a printed picture you have – sidenote: if you don’t print your pictures, pick your favs and print them out. Okay now take a bigger piece of paper, and get all Tumblr in it. By this I mean create a lil art around the picture, based on the picture. This is a wonderful way to inspire yourself to get artsy. Even if you’re not good at it (like me) it’s fun and you spend time on your own just getting creative and thoughtful and it’s just the best.

PHOTO SHOOT IT UP! You had to see this coming. Bonus points if you have friends who don’t care and will go out in public and do a photo shoot with you. Extra bonus points if you try it with a film camera. This is just a fun way to push yourself out of your shell – because yes it feels weird for everyone doing it, but once you decide you don’t care and you’d rather just have a good time with your friends and get some cute pictures and memories out of it, no one cares anymore.

People watch! This can be hard if you live in a smaller town like me, but malls are always bustling around this time of the year so that’s a sure bet. I’d like to get a gooood coffee and just sit and watch society for awhile. You’d be amazed at some of the stuff that goes on out there. Insane.

Do a Youtube tutorial – but, like, a wild one. Pick something you love – music, makeup, hair, nails, dance, whatever, and find a tutorial of something that looks hectic and awesome, and try it. Dance tutorials seem like a good idea (hoedown throwdown anyone?) but I’m the worst dancer – does it make it any less fun? Not in the slightest. I’m really trying to cut back on how often I use the word fun.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE IT HERE THANK GOODNESS GRACIOUS! The one you’ve all been waiting for: give it up and spend the day watching Netflix. I’m serious. Take your OTT Serendipity3 hot chocolate, your Taylor Swift chair sugar cookies, and sit your ass (ah! a curse!) in front of the TV for awhile. Lucky for you, tomorrow’s post is a Netflix guide for only the best in Netflix – it’s the worst to flip through there with nothing to watch. The worst.

I did it I really did it! One other thing I’m doing during Blogmas is a daily “Moment Behind the Blog” because I feel like none of you know me me and I want you to! Hi! I’m Sabrina Mara! This is my blog! Welcome! Here’s today’s…

Moment Behind The Blog: Day 1

I’m writing this on November 28 – I just finished one heck of a paper. Background: I’m in my final year of my HBa in History. I love it. It’s horrible and I am such a hecking nerd I genuinely love it. That being said – it’s SO HARD to write about fun things to do when you’re free of school knowing I still have this one HECKIN long paper to write between now and then. FRUSTRATION.

Also – Heckin is officially my replacement word for every swear. Just decided that right now. It’ll be like Eleanor on The Good Place (what’s that?! Wait until tomorrow!)

Your question of the day: Since I was so extra about TSwift in this – what’s your favourite song on reputation?! (Don’t lie, I know you have one).

For More Fashion Stuffs | What’s In My Wardrobe?

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25 Things to do This December Let Blogmas Begin! I thought a nice way to kick off December would be a little bit of inspiration for those of you who aren't sure how to spend your extra time, or how to get into the holiday spirit!

#advice #blogmas #christmas #get to know me #holiday #inspiration #lifestyle #thunder bay #what to do for fun #what to do in the winter #what to do over the christmas break #what to do over the holidays #winter break

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