#i bet i look like a squid sucked my under eye bags

[noisyquokka]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @sapphirebluemt thank you lovely! 💛💕 I'm doing this while very tired (literally 5am) and on my phone, so uh... If I don't save draft and proof read beforehand please bear with me!

1. What takes too much of your time?

Day dreaming and worrying. So much worrying...

2. What makes your day better?

Knowing that I'm cared for and appreciated by someone who means a lot to me. And food 😅

3. What's the best thing that happened to you today?

One of the horses at our rescue followed me around the pasture the entire time I was out there and I'd be damned if I didn't melt! Mayhaps I really missed working on a farm 🤗

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Questions like these are hard cause I'm over here like okay the maze runner universe would be pretty dope, but what about shadow hunters! Oof wHat AboUt TeEN WoLf!! The possibilities are endless! :0

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Mm yeah, sometimes. Other times I feel like my advice is complete shit lmao.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Depression and Anxiety, both diagnosed.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yeah, shit can be terrifying ngl! 😞

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I feel like Shawn Mendes really inspired me the most. I know there's a good handful of people that became famous from song covers on YouTube and all that, but I really like the way Shawn Mendes has stuck to him and his guitar for the most part, especially on tour. His voice is something relaxing and unique that I can get behind. And he's such a down to earth person, I'd love to meet him sometime and tell him he's doing amazing and how much he's helped me through his music!

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yeah, you know how it goes 😶

10. What's your dream date?

Honestly? Roadtripping to the desert or anywhere that's far from light pollution and spending a night under the stars. Just talking and tangled in each other, sometimes just staying silent and listening to the sounds of the night around us. Maybe our playlist is playing softly in the background and the campfire we started has burned out hours ago, while we lay on the trucks tailgate admiring the sky. Oof, I'm gonna cry I want this so bad 😭

11. What do others notice about you?

Weirdly, my nose? Literally everyone always talks about my nose! I don't know why but it's kinda weird. And my eyes.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Always thinking I'm not good enough. Annoys almost everyone I've met lmao!!!

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yeah, we talk almost every day! We're still great friends 😊

14. How many ex's do you have?

4. And number 4 was one hell of a joke, holy hell! So 5th times a charm? 🤣

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Roughly 3200. I'm always adding new music!

16. What instruments can you play?

Guitar, violin (although it's been a while, I'm probably rusty as hell!), a bit of clarinet and a bit of piano. I was learning piano before I left for college, I wish I would've picked it up earlier :(

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

Uhhh.... probably Hyunjin and Wonpil if I'm honest. My phone is just kpop boys n gals and I'm happy with myself 😁

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Back to my roots! I'd love to go to Poland, Hungary, and Wales. And Iceland or Norway just because the landscapes are so beautiful there and I just wanna see it with my own eyes!

19. What is your zodiac?

Taurus 🐮

20. Do you relate to it?

Here and there, yeah. But I can't say I'm a Taurus through and through. Some of the traits that are tied to my sun sign aren't tied to me individually. As example, Possessive is one of them that I am not!

21. What is happiness to you?

To me, happiness is seeing someone else near and dear to your heart smiling and happy themselves. Even if it's not your doing. You're just happy to see them happy!

22. Are you going through anything right now?

A lot, yes. Partially why I haven't been as active on tumblr as I'd like to be.

23. What's the worst decision you've ever made?

Letting people walk all over me because I'm too nice sometimes.

24. What's your favorite store?

Vidlers! I used to go in there a lot when I was a kid and they had this popcorn maker that always made the store smell like fresh popcorn! Ahh that takes me home 😄

25. What's your opinion on abortion?

I think it all depends on the situation. If a young female is raped or wasn't educated properly about safe/protected sex, then I'd say she's more than free to go through with it. But of course, if you're gonna fool around yet know about protected sex, and not use a condom? I think that's your personal problem and you should experience what other mother's who have planned to have kids have gone through. But again, I personally think abortion depends on the situation and shouldn't be the easy way out.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Yeah! And the list gets longer and longer and longer....

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Nah, I've got too much music to have a specific favorite album!

28. What do you want for your birthday?

The jackpot 😂 or just to spend time with my parents and see my dogs again! It's been literal months 😣

29. What are most people's first impression of you?

Standoffish because I'm very shy and awkward as hell around strangers.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Everyone always thinks I'm older than I really am! I'll be 19 in May but everyone's gonna be like "are you 22?" NO why do you think that?! I FEEL LIKE IM STILL 14!

31. Where do you keep your phone while you're sleeping?

On my nightstand, otherwise I'd lose it between my mattress and headboard 😅

32. What word do you say the most?

I say "Like" so much! I don't even mean to!

33. What's the oldest age you would date?

See, being older doesn't bother me much. I'd probably date a 25 year old if I'm honest (5 years older). I guess I'd just have to feel comfortable enough around them!

34. What's the youngest age you would date?

Probably at lest 16? I don't know, younger is a hard one for me just cause age and bleh!! Maybe 17... two years is better for me personally...

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

All my friends know that I'm good with kids and so I'm instantly suited and qualified to be a teacher?! But I'd rather not cause kids today 😩 I'd probably end up hurting their ego in front of their classmates if they showed me any disrespect lmao. And almost everyone who has heard me sing (like really seriously sing, I'm also a huge dork and purposefully sing off key a lot) have said I could be a singer but I can't sing in front of large crowds so 🤷‍♀️

36. What's your favorite music genre?

Pop or Country, undecided here!

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Probably Norway or Hungary. I love beautiful landscapes!

38. What is your current favorite song?

Miroh or Boxer from Stray Kids' new album 🤙

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I started it in January, so just about 3 months!

40. What are you excited for?

The weekend, I go back to college classes today and tomorrow 😣

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I'm 50/50

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Washed the dishes.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

A parrot, lump sum of money, maybe a poodle. Smack me now I'm being greedy lmao

44. What classes do you get the best grades in?

Biochem and Lit

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

2; I want to sleep but can't. Someone just knock me out!

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

29 years old? Stable career, maybe building or buying a house, possibly married although I'm not really worried about that? Maybe in a happy healthy relationship, with a rescue dog or cat.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

Year and a half ago.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

As I said before, I don't really care if I marry or not. But if I did find someone I'd want to marry, generally speaking, around 30 would be a good age for me. I'd want to make sure I'm financially stable and happy where I am in my life before taking such a step like marriage.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

First it was Figure skater, then I wanted to be an Equestrian. I stuck with the animal career cause I wanted to be a vet, and here I am in college for that exact reason!

50. What do you crave right now?

The sweet embrace of death, since sleep would rather screen my calls. That bitch! Insomnia's there for me more than sleep is 😑

Tagging: @janarine @sanflovver @ateeztiny @visualgiggles @jisunday and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[logoff]

or BETTY or IT’S VERY THAT

Mark McQueen

It rained, when we really needed clarity;

he reached in – called no foul, for fags

pass the biscuits; I have no time

bad breath Betty bets on sour horses –

she embroiders shoes and Russian hats for hackers

working hard for bum and bob and bop apartment showings

restless youth sucking pacifiers & bank accounts week to week

under bridges & aquarium fantasies where “the artists” live and –

babies wrapped in sweet knitting and plastic packaging (?)

his hair was so so so so long

I haven’t the slightest imagination – can you see?

by the dawn’s early nightshade, steeping in droopy kettles

green-eyed sweetness, the perfect warmth on my neck –

peeking in iridescent morning apple cider pajama parties –

wild percussion, pouring wine and filing w2 forms

orange boot – tin can chip off the old lab;

pick your friends and nose, your boundaries

where Maria, mother of Pancho, stares with jaundice eyes

over green benches and hills tied in brown paper brigades;

cinnamon toast rape scene on nauseaous ferries to poverty-stricken

mouthfuls of doleful insolence, spread like jelly on the table

America asked the world to hold its beer –

let go of your silver sets of forks and knives

thrown off cliffs like hardware circuit magicians

calling calypso and caterpillars on Obama phones;

anything can be funny in a certain light –

place your trash directly into my recepticle

under mossy bridges on Mississippi rainstorm back roads

where security cameras blaze thru constitutional barbwire

dock the ferry and unwrap every present two times

West 4th is the center of the unviverse;

tapping water bags into brown spotted wheel pillars

no, carnitas is fine – apologizing for polka dots

and running up hills w/ pink turrets and blood stains

IN A WORLD where palm trees kiss my cheek

God only knows what I’m putting in my lungs – cinematic

parlor shop shots of tequila & robitussen; priced correctly

according to remote factory island bombast nunneries –

smoke & **glitter** line the fragmented edges of my lungs

I have no weapons in my house for a unicorn;

squeezing out of the snakeskin tea; blood dripping

red-eyed obscurity, smathered jelly on my glasses –

rain-spotted; whales in timewarp smoke signals

hoops falling in a vortex of DNA & cocktails

elderflower whispers in a rusty steel tube adolescence

opening windows to the desert in the nighttime; boundless

transfer on the upper avenue — Nostrand capitalists

wiping tissues between words bound in Euro- trash

to feel eyes on you, under limousines & flutes of champagne

F train blues dripping below orange skies screaming

a warm vanilla spritz on white-washed resilience

boring Betty writes postcards for tumblr girls (in a)

New Mexico sunset dream; please hold my heart

mint flowers binding muscle to steel bone dry vermouth –

blood on my lip, ink in my ear – opulent

silver boots pounding holes in the mud bath & beyond

Absurdity is the only religion I comprehend;

rich fluff in oily pits of hellfire and Wall Street

don’t test the bubbles – let me punctificate

topaz faggot & the 5-head beard; an essay

look at hoops locking all the windows – suspicious

Russians spitting nails in cedar brain buckets

hundreds of vibrant sacks filled w/ complaints

Hollywood lens blue on your faded denim eyes

Los Angeles sherriff, blaaazed and fucking vigilant

dancing on fire escapes above peasants & their teeth

breaking patterns w/ dandelion wine jars upon rocks upon mistletoe

penetrating vicoden bottles with unabashed precision –

I throw up my grievances but the saints just stare;

a toast to the horse who toasted the party monsters

bloodshot Betty jingled her keys to the chime of beer bottles

lifting blinds wearing letterman serendipity – I digress

pill box apple pie legislation; shouting

log off – no one is right when they’re tired or hungry

glamour spoke, and I always listened (even while praying)

pink hat shoveling bullshit out of hollow guitars –

snowed-in mouse hole broken drip Lamar

missing beats and broadcasts over radio nightmares

Zombies plan the day before; I am no Jane Austen

drink the vinyl grooves like holy nut

forbidden rooster cock-a-doodling til 4am smokes

zero to antichrist in Versace – to the gala

antidepressant Visa; bad luck Betty wasn’t nagging

transitioning from talent to turquoise & truffle

dye your innocence a fresh shade of Louis Vuitton;

(be)dazzled M&M’s w/ cocaine on the key to swastikas

in the mortar under my boots & saddle

paint dries in erroneously bold washout circles

fur under my feet w/ violin tracks in the bazaar

bleaching glass table tops with matchbox chef pants

sing the praises over holy midnight bath salts

in soapy paint-dried wounds – I don’t care

when squids ink blot; power vacuum minefields

hotel soap behind the rancher’s ears; silver

Parisian trains gliding from commune to shopping mall

lawn guy land; stapling porcelain to ash

jailing cherubs in glamour – good thing for podcasts

glittering knives marking long distance calls to Amsterdam;

the buffalo stampede on the lion even still –