#was that too much for 10:30pm on a Thursday afternoon

[machveil]

I don’t write cheater stuff because it doesn’t really do anything for me, but the angst of a POV story from Cheater!Ghost’s perspective after you transfer to KorTac and some months later he sees you hanging off of Nikto’s arm has me going hmmm

[studentbyday]

so the week is half over and i'm kind of feeling low on energy and needing lots of sleep, which is the perfect opportunity to (sort of) try out einstein's daily routine (which is tbh the most personally palatable daily routine of a famous person i've ever chanced across)! i've been waking up at nearly 9 anyway since lately my head spins and i feel sick if i don't sleep like 9-10 hours.

So yeah, wake up at 9.

Between 9 and 10, eat breakfast and read the newspapers fiction

I know after breakfast he was said to often walk to Princeton and arrive by 10:30 or smth but (a) I don't go to Princeton, and (b) these days I study at home, so instead I'm just going to do some form of exercise.

~10:30 to 1pm: work study

have lunch (i read somewhere that he spends 1.5h on lunch and tea? i wish i could have a lunch and tea that leisurely but i do not have the time. so i won't.)

afternoons: receive visitors and work study

also afternoons: naps if needed (tho thankfully i seem to have enough energy to last me through the day if i get 9-10h of sleep... also i just don't think i'll have much time for naps. 🙁)

~6:30pm: have dinner [and clean up]

after dinner: more work study if needed (most likely needed)

sleeeeeeeepppppppp [be ready for or in bed by 9 or 10]

i'll update this post later to let you know how it goesss~

i hope you're feeling better than i am this week 💗🤒

~the aforementioned update~

ahahaha i don't think i did a very good job of following any routine this week. on wednesday i slept a little later than usual and ended up waking up at 10am (i didn't set an alarm for some reason). on thursday i set my alarm for 7 and then 8 and then 10 because i had to finish reviewing the last of the microbiology for the midterm and actually woke up at 9:30. and on friday i want to actually wake up somewhere within the hour of 7am so i can hopefullyyyy finish all my schoolwork for this week?? despite the seeming slowness of einstein's routine, i always feel like i'm rushing when i wake up when the sun is already up and most everyone else i live with is already awake, so i'm going to try this again over reading week but change the wake-up time and stick to it dammit— 😤

also i feel like if i'm gonna be posting on tumblr again, i should post my screen time stats for accountability because for some reason whenever i start making stuff for social media, my screen time goes through the roof bc i get so distracted and like oh wait there was this thing i want to add no wait where was i— (as i got lost in a scroll.) and this happens multiple times. but sometimes i do feel very much like yapping and when i'm in this mood, i could yap for days on end so i gotta find a solution...

just LOOK at this horrendousness!!!

also. there was so much material to cover for the microbio midterm it was insane. i feel like i need to follow the 80/20 rule. like...just prioritize the big topics, don't care so much about the extraneous, minor details so i only expend energy for and fill my brain with what i really need to know. and i'm not sure how good flashcards are for that because it just seems kinda random, the order in which cards are thrown at you in anki, and i'm the kind of person who, at least during the first pass, compulsively desires to cover everything, and so what do you think happens? i end up with a massive “stack” of flashcards, including cards about minor/extraneous details. every. single. time. i'm not entirely sure how i want to navigate this yet, but i'm definitely gonna try that 80/20 rule...bc this was just too stressful 🥲

[ayamisc]

.:fatigue:.

(c) William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Warner Bros. Discovery

Tuesday, Aug 21 …that night i slept at 4-ish in the morn.. it tried to finish my AP Bio summer thing.. for the review the next day [or rather… later that day at 3:30pm] but failed. oh well.

Wed & Thurs… same story. if you don't know by now. i'm a procrastinator who doesn't know my priorities.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday.. ..i can't really remember what i did. but all i know is. i was busy doing my bio and english summer work.

Monday, Aug 27 i slept at 3ish in the morn… same story. [and i actually did my work this time.. obviously for the lack of time]

Tuesday, Aug 28 ..i didn't sleep. at all. i did my english essay which was due on midnight. then tried to get ready for school… all the while finishing up 3 questions i left out from my AP Bio review thing. aaaand.. well… the rest was spent reviewing for my AP Bio test the next morning. oh the joys of student life.. so much for the 1st day of school right? i finally lsept after school at 1:30pm i think… then woke up at 7ish.. and did more of my english work that is due the next day.

Wednesday, Aug 29 .. i didn't sleep. coz i thought i had a test on english the next day. well.. there was a scheduled one but we didn't end up taking it. oh well.

Thursday, Aug 30 slept around 4.. yeah.. more work.. well.. i tried to read english.. didn't finish anyway.

Friday, Aug 31 slept at 5.. i tried to read more english. again. didn't finish. and spent 3 hours doing my loooooooong french homework… oh joy.

Saturday, Sept 1 slept at 3ish. ..i slept friday afternoon and couldn't fall asleep. oh well. at 10sih.. i awoke.. or rather.. my mom woke me up since we're going to her high school reunion thing. we left at… 11am.. i slept through the trip. i don't know how long… haha anyhow. when we got there… the weather was… sizzling? and for the most part it was boring i felt like sleeping. around 6ish-7ish.. my mom's classmate's daughter and i went to her room and watched anime until 9:45-10ish.. [Yay! Ate Fatima!] then i read a comic book.. then..well.. had a nap on her bed… ehehehe >> we left at 10:30-11ish… i think. we got home past 12ish.. i slept throughout the trip again. …when we got home.. we had a midnight snack.. watched some tv.. yeah. finally fell asleep at 3ish.

Satuday. September 2 i woke up at 9:20. then i went to community service at 10. i got home at 12. ate some lunch.. when i was in community service, my friend alex called telling me of a pool party at her house. i said i'll try to come. i really did.. but i guess my memory is horrible when i'm tired… i forgot to call… actually.. i even forgot about the pool party when i got home… then slept afterwards… [and since my phone was set in "meeting" i wasn't able to hear alex's and andy's call around 2-3ish..gomen!!!] and i woke up at 6ish for dinner. [at this point. i haven't checked my phone and was still wasn't aware i missed a pool party….] then slept again 10:30pm. and this is where i am now. i just checked my phone. sorry guys.. and at this time.. it was not my habit of not answering my phone.. it's coz i was asleep.. and now.. i have a mild headache for both lack of sleep.. and too much sleep. plans for tomorrow: guess what? i'll probably NOT sleep at all again… why? coz i have a ton of homework to do… yay… ><

ah. the joys of student life, oui?

again. sorry to Mel, Alex, and Andy, for not making it…… [and sorry to whoever was there…blah blah blah]

uhm. and. thank you to Taho coz she tolerated my..uh… deafening silence… hahaha.. jk… thank you Ate! LuvU!

PS. This blog was originally posted on DeviantArt.

[gvbejvmesmichaels]

Task 10

Briel’s Honey Do List Master List of Everyone’s Schedules

Monday:

Bella’s Schedule:

9am -- Ballet -- DJ dropping off before work; Madie’s mom taking them both to gymnastics. 10:30am -- Gymnastics; Madie’s mom feeding them and taking to school. 12:30pm -- Pre-K; Velvet and Grey picking up from school and she’s hanging out with them until 6pm.

DJ’s Schedule:

9:30am-2:30pm -- Camp art; Teaching 3-5 section 2:30pm-5pm -- Camp art; front desk

Jay’s Schedule:

Morning -- staff meetings Afternoon -- court; I think??? **likely to work late**

My Schedule:

7am-1pm: Volunteering at Urban Farm 1pm -- on: Studio time while everyone else is busy

Who’s responsible for dinner? Me Anything else I need to do? Check on pieces in kiln. Pick up drycleaning? I think?

Tuesday:

Bella’s Schedule: Morning -- with me at the Collective 12:30pm -- pre-k. DON’T FORGET TO PICK HER UP AT 2:30!

Connie’s Schedule:

She has her check-in with her probation officer today. If she fails her drug test, there’s no visitation on Friday. DJ’s Schedule: Morning -- Camp art; front desk. 1pm-4pm -- Intro to Art History at the CC. PRETEND YOU DON’T KNOW. He still thinks he’s being sneaky. Let him continue to think that. He’ll probably quit taking classes if he knows you know.

Jay’s Schedule:

Court all day. (Again, I’m pretty sure he has court???) He’s likely to come home early. I think???

My Schedule:

Morning at the Collective

Receive and review shipment.

Unload clay order. Make sure extra was included to make up for last week’s dried up portion.

Allocate the new brushes and palette knives.

Figure out why the fuck K ordered 40 gallons of resin.

Afternoon:

Take Bella to school.

Meeting with Odette and Xuan at Destiny Management.

Who’s responsible for dinner? Jay Anything else I need to do? Pick up the special dog food Felony likes.

Wednesday:

Bella’s Schedule:

Same as Monday - except Jay is dropping Bella off at ballet and you’re picking her up from school. 

DJ’s Schedule:

Off from the Collective. Probably will wind up on my couch hanging out with the dogs.

Jay’s Schedule: 

I don’t think he has court... I think he has meetings at the office? I know he told me earlier… ask him again later.

My Schedule:

Morning at the Collective:

8am staff meeting at the Collective.

BRUSH CLEANING DAY!

11am meeting with potential new vendor for kiln cleaning.

LEAVE FOR SCHOOL NO LATER THAN 12!!!

Afternoon:

Camp art: Teaching the 9-12 year old section how to use the ceramics wheel. Hopefully it won’t be too much of a fucking disaster.

Who’s responsible for dinner? I feel like it’s going to be a takeout night. Anything else I need to do? Probably get clay out of weird places.

Thursday:

Bella’s Schedule:

10am - music class with Waverly 12:30pm - pre-k — I’m dropping off and Jay is picking up 3:30pm - Daddy and me French class with Jay. I really need to figure out what that class is really called.

DJ’s Schedule

Morning: Teaching at Camp Art Afternoon: That class he doesn’t know that I know he’s taking.

Jay’s Schedule

I have no fucking clue but I know he’s off earlier enough for that French class.

My Schedule

Nothing set in stone other than GB’s class. I’ll probably have breakfast with Nik.

Working from home: payroll - go offline so Kale can’t fuck with the files again.

I also need to do the schedule for next week and verify student attendance.

Who’s responsible for dinner? Me, but Jay will probably take over when I get home. Anything else I need to do? Follow up with the social worker to find out if Connie passed her drug test and if we actually have visitation.

Friday

My and Bella’s schedule:

We’re supposed to have visitation with Connie in the morning. If visitation falls through, we’ll go to Urban Farm and take care of the baby ducks again. If we get to visitation, and Connie no shows, we’ll go to Jay’s office and steal him for early lunch. If Connie does show up for visitation, we’ll go somewhere with milkshakes for lunch and then maybe walk around Central Park.

DJ’s Schedule:

He won’t be at work and won’t answer his phone. He gets weird on visitation day. If Connie doesn’t show up, he’ll somehow know and will be on a mission to find her.

Jay’s Schedule:

Court is closed, I know that much. If Connie’s visitation is cancelled in advance, see if he wants to play hooky on Friday and spend the day at the beach.

[nyullm2020]

A Day in the Life - NYU Law edition

I am blatantly stealing this idea from my fellow LLM Guide blogger at Berkeley, Nathaniel - but thought it might be helpful for those wanting to see what a day is like here in New York at NYU! This is a Thursday.

Morning

8:00am - wake up, lay around for a bit and feel deathly dehydrated from the built-in radiators in my building 😅There’s a blue sky today, but it is very deceptive - it’s cold!!

8:30am - make breakfast, usually a smoothie, cereal or avocado toast with a fried egg. Make my bed to feel minimally productive as well.

9:00am - Finish off my Constitutional Law readings before my 11am class and make my case briefs (with the facts, holding, dissents, etc for each case). I am very on top of readings for this particular class because my (excellent) professor, Melissa Murray, has a cold-calling system where she calls on people for detailed case-specific questions and hypotheticals without any advance notice. It’s a lot of work, and it probably takes me at least 3 hours to prepare for each of my 2 weekly Con Law classes - but it’s such a great subject taught by a fabulous professor, and I like being challenged to keep up.

10:00am - do an online core workout class through Zoom on the NYU Recreation website - I am much more motivated to do a scheduled class than to fit in a Youtube video, although I miss going to a real gym! A lot of my friends have started going to a cheap gym nearby, Blink, so I might join too.

11:00-1:00pm: Con Law class online with 110 other students. I don’t get called on, but I did volunteer at one point 😃At the moment, we are learning about fundamental rights protection under the Due Process Clause and Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment (protecting individual rights from undue interference by the States). We have just started on the right to procreate and the right to abortion before fetal viability - so the famous Roe v. Wade and other related cases, like Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1992) were the topics of conversation today. It’s all very fascinating.

Afternoon

1:10pm: Go pick up a coffee (latte) nearby from one of my favorite local spots, like Banter, Citizens of Bleecker, Third Rail or About Coffee. It’s not cheap here, but it’s my daily treat! Make sure to keep an eye out for Cuomo....

1:30pm: Make lunch with whatever I have. If I’m feeling fancy, I’ll make some pasta with chicken, or maybe just avocado toast with eggs. I often go for lunch with another NYU LLM friend too and grab some ramen or sushi.

This was a little cherry tomato, basil and chicken fettucine I made 🤤

Here’s a chicken, kale, roast veg, avocado and feta salad I made the other week for lunch as well. I try to eat sort of healthy at home so I can eat allllll the cheesecakes and pizza when I go out.

2:00-2:30pm: Scheduled 1-on-1 check-in with my Government Anti-Corruption Clinic professor. She is fantastic, and we chat about how the class is going, my internship at the Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office Public Integrity Bureau, and my plans after the LLM. She gives me some great job search ideas.

2:30pm-3:30pm: Try to jam in some last minute reading before my Introduction to Civil Procedure Class on Zoom. This is all LLMs and I usually don’t finish the readings before this class, but there is no cold-calling. Sometimes we get to see our professor’s Welsh Terrier, Monty!

On days when I have less class, like Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I will often go to the library to motivate myself. I’m studying for the MPRE at the end of March (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam, a component of the NY and California Bar exams), so I need all the motivation I can get!

When I go on campus, I have to complete one of these daily Covid screeners on my phone, and check my temperature with an NYU-provided themometer. Also, don’t forget your student card!

Night

5:30-6:00pm: Zoom call with a Litigation Attorney from my country as a bit of networking. I have a lot of these, and hopefully one will pay off in the form of a job opportunity! She was lovely - I found her through a bit of old-fashioned LinkedIn stalking. Send her my updated resume, and she sends me an email back and some study notes for the bar exam.

6:00-7:00pm: I have a witness preparation session with my ‘co-counsel’ student partner, Jessica (a JD student), and two undergrad pre-law students from NYU for my upcoming simulated trial for my Advanced Trial Simulation class, starting this coming Monday (spanning over two weeks). We run them through the direct examination questions we have drafted as they are playing the role of our lay witness and expert cardiologist witness, as well as cross-examination prep, and our case theory generally. I have a lot of work to do before I am ready to give our opening statement on Monday night, but it’s coming together!

7:00pm-8:30pm: Grocery shopping at a cute grocery store nearby. I love looking at all the freshly made pastas! I made a burnt butter ravioli with walnuts, pumpkin, spinach and sage, but forgot to take a photo of it - so here is all the fresh pasta and then some salmon I made the other week!

9:00pm- too late: Finish off some small tasks and face-time my good friend back home. She’s just moved to the beach, and I’m very jealous. Plan out my day for tomorrow, waste time on social media, hang out with my boyfriend after he finishes work for the day, and then relax before bed!

Let me know what you would like to see here next!

[wolfpackimagines14]

Lizzie Swan - Chapter 1

Word Count - 1.8k

A/N: thanks for being so patient! Paul isn’t in this chapter (he probably won’t be in the next one either). Also I didn’t proof read this so be warned!

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you,” Dad and I sang to Bella. I had woken up early this morning to make her pancakes for breakfast. Dad had insisted on the candles and the song, even though I tried to convince him that she would hate it.

“Guys,” Bella sighed. “I told you I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of my birthday.”

“Bella, you’re 18!” Dad replied to her dismayed attitude. “How can we not make a big deal out of it?”

“Ugh…” she groaned and pulled her covers up over her head.

“I tried to stop him,” I laughed, trying to pull the covers back.

“Not hard enough, apparently,” she playfully glared at me.

“Whatever, Bells,” I replied. “Just eat the damn pancakes I woke up 30 minutes early to make for you. You know how much I hate waking up early.”

“....thank you Lizzie,” she finally agreed to come out from under her blanket sanctuary to eat the pancakes I had made.

“You’re welcome!” I grinned at her. “Okay I’m gonna go get ready for school now!”

I left our dad to stumble his way awkwardly through giving Bella the presents that him and Renee had gotten her. Despite her living with us for nine months now, he was still just as awkward when he was forced to show that he cared.

We had definitely grown closer since Bella had moved to Forks to live with us. I wasn’t sure I had wanted her to move in at first, but having a full time sister had actually been really great. For the first 12 years of my life, Bella would come to Forks for one month during the summer. While I had enjoyed those visits for the most part, you could always tell that Bella hated it here. She’s always been easy to read and the disdain on her face when she would arrive in Forks was always apparent.

But starting in 2002, all of Bella’s complaining lead to our dad and her spending two weeks vacationing in California together instead. I had been invited, but I’d chosen not to go. Not because I didn’t want to, but because my mother was sick back in Forks.

When I was nine years old, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She’d had to get a mastectomy, but even that combined with the chemotherapy hadn’t been enough to save her. Things turned for the worst in 2004 and mom was tired after fighting so hard for five years. She passed away that year and not even eight months later, Bella had moved to Forks full time.

And though the changes had been tough, going to therapy had really helped. My dad had forced me to go and though it had helped, you don’t easily get over the death of a parent and the sad moments really do still hit me to this day.

But having Bella around more often really allowed us to get closer and I truly do love her. She was difficult to be around sometimes though. And she spent literally all her time with her boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Edward was nice enough, a little distant though.

“Lizzie?” I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard Bella call my name from downstairs. “Are you ready? I’m leaving now and unless you want Charlie to drive you to school in the cruiser I suggest you move it along.”

“Just a second!” I called downstairs, now rushing to finish getting ready. Nothing was more embarrassing than driving around in dad’s police cruiser. I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head before grabbing my backpack and rushing down the stairs and out the door.

The ride to school was quiet, but pleasant. I didn’t want to bother Bella with any more birthday talk and I had to review my notes for AP Chemistry in case of a pop quiz. It was only the second week of school and that class was already kicking my ass.

After parking her monstrous truck in the school parking lot, we were almost immediately bombarded by Alice Cullen.

“Happy birthday, Bella!” she exclaimed eagerly and I rolled my eyes at Bella when she shushed her. I found it amusing when Alice just ignored her and continued her assault. “Do you want to open your present now or later?”

“No presents,” Bella mumbled in response.

“Okay so later then!” Alice kept talking, not thrown off by Bella’s mood at all. “Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie and Lizzie?”

Damn, how did she know about that already? Bella must’ve texted her about it I guess.

I looked down at my notes again as Edward approached us and greeted Bella.

“Lizzie,” Edward greeted me politely. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I answered, glancing up at him for a second. “You?”

“Fine,” he repeated my short, but pleasant answer. “Studying for Mrs. Cooper’s class?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “There might be a pop quiz today and I just want to be prepared.”

“Always good to be prepared,” he nodded in agreement. “But between you and I, I overheard her talking about having the pop quiz on Thursday.”

“Really?” I asked. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he nodded at me.

“Oh thank god!” I exclaimed. “I was not prepared for that quiz.”

“So what time are you two coming over tonight?” Alice interrupted us.

“I didn’t know I was coming over tonight,” Bella replied, definitely as confused as I was.

“Oh come on, Bella!” she complained. “We’ve been planning this party for forever!”

“I didn’t even know about it!” Bella exclaimed.

“Well now you do! Lizzie, can you come?” Alice turned her attention to me.

“I can’t,” I sighed, genuinely bummed out. “I have to work tonight. Plus I have to study for that pop quiz on Thursday.”

I worked as a waitress at The Lodge, one of the only formal sit down restaurants in Forks. I made pretty decent money and I was saving up to buy a car for when I turned 16 next year.

“I should get to class,” I interrupted Alice before she could make any excuses for me not to go to work. I really needed the money. “Thank you for the invite though.”

I quickly made my way to my first period class. Even though I was only a sophomore, school was tough. Between all my classes, my job at The Lodge, and my soccer schedule starting up soon I was really stretch out thin. But luckily my best friend, Jenny, was in practically all of my classes.

The day went by fairly quickly. Edward was right, there wasn’t a pop quiz in AP Chem, but there was one in Spanish. We were playing badminton in gym and my team had gone undefeated all class. Soccer tryouts were this afternoon; Jenny and I were really hoping to make the varsity team, but the odds weren’t in our favor because we were only sophomores. And work was pretty busy for a Tuesday night, which was good for me because the busier it is, the more tips I make. Luckily Jenny had already turned 16 and she had her license so she could drive me from soccer to the restaurant.

I got home late and was heating myself up some dinner when Bella walked through the front door of the house, sporting a new bandage on her arm.

“What’d you do this time?” I teasingly asked her.

“I tripped,” she muttered before making her way through the living room and up the stairs, greeting Charlie on the way.

“She’s gotta be more careful,” I told Dad as I brought my plate into the living room to watch the rest of the game with him. He just grunted in response, too engrossed in the game to continue the conversation.

The next few days were weird. Edward wasn’t around as much and Alice no longer greeted us in the parking lot at school in the mornings. I didn’t mention anything to Bella, not wanting to upset her.

I had made the varsity soccer team, but Jenny hadn’t. She was happy for me, but she was still upset and I couldn’t blame her for that. Edward had been right and on Thursday I had a pop quiz in AP Chem. I wanted to thank him for the heads up, but he wasn’t even at school that day and when I asked Bella where he was, she said she didn’t know. Which was weird because Bella always knows where Edward is.

I got home from work on Friday and was immediately bombarded by my dad.

“Have you seen Bella at all?” he asked me frantically.

“Not since this morning when we drove to school,” I answered cautiously. “I had soccer practice after school and Jenny drove me to work after.”

“She hasn’t been home in hours and she’s not answering her phone,” he was definitely panicking now. I was starting to get worried too. It was almost 10:30pm and it was a long time for her to be out without contacting us. “She left a note that she was going for a walk with Edward in the woods.”

“Have you tried calling the Cullens?” I suggested.

“No answer,” he sighed. “I’m calling the guys and putting together a search party.”

In less than an hour, there were police officers and Dad’s friends from the reservation in our backyard. Even Jacob and Billy Black were here. It had been awhile since I’d seen them, but this wasn’t the way I wanted to reunite with them.

People were searching for hours and I was really getting worried. Where the hell was she? It was approaching 3 in the morning now.

“What if we don’t find her?” I teared up as I talked to Jacob.

“We’ll find her,” he reassured me, pulling me into a hug.

It was at that moment that I saw Sam Uley, one of the older guys from the reservation come out of the woods. He was shirtless and was carrying Bella in his arms. She looked like she was passed out in his arms.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, running across the yard with my dad right on my heels. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Sam reassured me. “Just a little shaken up.”

My dad insisted on carrying her the rest of the way to the house, despite his back having been bothering him lately.

“Thank you,” I told Sam sincerely before hugging him. Wow, he was really warm considering the cool weather right now. “Thank you for finding her.”

“No problem,” he replied gruffly before turning to go talk to Billy. I ran to catch up with my dad and helped him by opening the front door for him so he could carry Bella inside.

Tags:

@ravenmoore14

@k-n-e

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 10

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online. Day 271: Work was dominated by Qfiniti again, including a meeting with Jon and staff from the States, where I found my self taking control to get the next steps in process (and then, Dave Stewart, the SCCM engineer fucked off and put an OOO message on Teams telling me he’s off until Tuesday (it’s Thursday)...and I am off on Monday!) But, I have to say this project does float my boat. Got a text message and then a call from PCH for another laser eye appt this coming Monday at 12.30pm. I mentioned to the lady that phoned that I will have to square it with work (I won’t, but she doesn’t know that) as I can’t afford to lose my job - it just seems the hospital, while under pressue with the admin and the clinic availability - I get it! - just aren’t seeing the issues for the patients. Plus, Peterborough has been declared a Tier 3 from Sunday under the new lockdown scheme, the highest tier. Great...I really want to travel to a highly infected area! managed to find an online booze shop that does Gordon’s and Famous Grouse and will deliver beforee Chrimbo, so I’ve placed the order for dad and Rita’s gift. I spoke with Dad today, he hasn’t heard about his vaccination yet which is a surprise (he’s in the first draft being over 80)

Day 272: Typing on day 273. Work was that manic shit at the end of the dya when I’ve got time off. I am only off on Moday but still had to tie up loose ends, complictaed further by Jon being off next week and Sueanne off this week and the Qfiniti project! In the evening I only mamaged three beers. I ate too much. Plus my sugars were all over the place and way too high! I ordered a torch a couple of days ago (£17), it arrived today. It takes rechargeable batteries or 3 AAAs. Apparently, to get the best performance (i.e. brightness) you need the rechargeable batteries in it, so i charged ‘em. Fucking hell, I’m glad I did - it’s brighter than the sun. It opens up my late walks in winter, for sure.

Day 273: While it was a very late (but sober) night yesterday (gone 4am before lights out) I was up before midday. Usual walking etc. plus gave the bathroom a clean (albeit with wipes, but I did mop the floor - and used the water to also mop the kitchen). Now I am about to stick a pizza in the oven, plus wedges (to have with microwaveable chip shop curry sauce) and watch This Is 40 which is coincidentally on telly tonight - the coincidence being clips of it are on TikTok a lot right now. I am on my second beer and am going to have a smoke right now as well. Lastly for this entry, I have been using my AudioPro speaker today, it pisses me off it’s not WiFi capable but, thru Bt, it does sound fucking good - revisiting James works very well to demonstrate the speaker’s prowess.

Day 274: I have another Paypal a/c. I have been getting emails to my standard gmail account from Paypal saying they are going to charge me £9 for an inactive account which I have been largely ignoring since my paypal a/c has a specific email address. Anyway, I tried to log in, after a password reset and, hey presto, I do have another one, with £35 in it, having just been fleeced of £9 for the aforementioned inactivity, fuckers. It’s registered with the old Market Place address and phone. When I try to transfer the £35 to my card, it wants to confim it’s me by calling the phone, which I can’t amend. Oh, and you can’t contact Paypal direct. Fuck knows what to do! Other than that, usual Sunday, a tad more relaxed since I have tomorrow off, but not that much now I have an eye appointment in Tier 4 Peterborough (it’s been up’d from tier 3)! Up at 1.30 pm (I watched This is 40 and The Guvners last night with lots of beer), feeling worse for wear but, stair climb and a 6 miler acheived!

Day 275: I was at the hospital for 3 hours. The laser clinic didn’t start until 1.30pm so, why my appointment was at 12.20, not even the consultant could understand. 15 minutes of lasering - horrible but I am used to it. It took so long it pretty much fucked my day off up completely. I got a Christmas card from Karen, in the actual post, so, a mail shot. It’s depressing.

Day 276: Back to work and it’s definitely in wind down mode. I’ve decided to compile a list of things I have done this year. It will be on the postive side, such as all the steps I’ve walked and getting an article published about my photography, but it will also include randon facts like getting bitten by a dig twice and not having a haircut. I’ll get it done so I can post in at new year, hopefully be a little inspiring, a little silly and a lot of showing off!

Day 277: Work, again, was quiet. It’s fucking pissing down now, as I type at 21:50, and has been all day. It’s causing havoc and there’s flooding everywhere. I could walk down St. Peter’s Road tonight ‘cos of it (had to go up New Road, Springfield Road, down Latham Road). Soaked a lunhtime and tonight! With a new variant of Coronavirus, France stopped frieght crossing the border. That’s now been resolved but tyeh back log has/is affecting certain food stocks in the shops, of which, fresh veg might affect me for Christams dinner (I plan to do a chicken breast with stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkshire pud and shed loads of veg. I’ll nip to Co-Op tomorrow morning and see what’s vaialble. It’s a half day at work ‘cos of Christmas Eve, so I can nip out somewhere in the car if need be, as ong as the flooding has subsided. Or I could just get shitfaced and have burgers and pizza.

Day 278: Christmas Eve. Sueanne let me finish at 11.00am so, very shortly thereafter, off for a walk I went; it turned out to be a stop/start affair - flooding as the Nene had burst its banks, ended up doing more of a circuit round town. Bumped into Andy Smith (and his son) and, after that, Ash and Denise. Ended up doing just under 11.5km in 2 and a half hours.Knackered! As I type, I have a chilli on the stove, beer on the go, all the veg and chicken breast bought with no shortages, as feared, for tomorrow’s lunch and looking forward to eating. getting drunk, smoking, listening to music, watching telly....all over the next two/three days.

Day 279: I don’t even remember going to bed last night. As a direct result I got out of bed at 2.30pm. I couldn’t even be bothered with Christmas dinner, let alone anything else like exercise. I’m just about to have chilli for dinner (it’s 8.10pm). Watch some telly then try an go to sleep before midnight. No booze! I did talk to dad earlier. Day 280: Typing on day 281. A better, more productive day. Up @11.00am exercise and walk as usual, although the walk was a different route due to flooding. In the evening I could hear ‘storm Bella’ raging, so windy! I cooked a christmas dinner of sorts, chicken breast with Thyme, all the veg, roasted spuds and parsnip, stuffing (a first for me, albeit co-op stuffing mix), Yorkshie and pigs in blankets. It was smashing! A few beers and The Hitman’s Bodyguard, alays a fun watch. A better day, as I say, but I am feeling particular deflated this Christmas. Day 281: Typing on day 282. I realised, about mid afternoon, that Monday (tomorrow) is a bank holiday so no work. It was a great realisation but, also, worrying that it dawned on my like I’m an old person! Nevertheless, a nice long walk - bumped into Baz & Kate and had a nice long chat, then El & Camila, Aaron and Eva for another, shorter chat. I also saw Denise & Ash along the way. Fog video called later in the evening for a chat too (he told me how he fell asleep at the dinner table, fuck he makes me laugh - unwittingly - when I need it most!) A regular social fest! A repeat of last night’s dinner and a few beers - it was a good day albeit I am in a proper low ebb.

Day 282: Up at midday after a 4am-er. A very long walk (1.75 hours) and a hodge podge dinner (remaining chilli, roasted spuds and peppers, steamed cauliflower and runner beans, grated cheese) - it’s nearly ready, I’ll type the review tomorrow. I realise that this is the first time in 21 Christmases that I have at least talked to K. Is that connected to my mood slump? I reckon so. So, as that fact dawned on me, I then considered, should it be the case next Christmas, it will not be the first in along time and, as such, more manageable....fuck knows how I manage to accentuate any little positive but, thank goodness I do. Day 283: Work was a sedate affair today, fuck all to do really. Sueanne is now follwing me on Insta...I shall invetsigate on how to exclude posts to individuals, methinks. Tea, last night, was fucking lovely. More of the same tonight-ish - currently I am roasting spuds, peppers, garlic, chillies, tomatoes - it’ll all go with left over pigs-in-blankets (5) and a burger. I’ll have bisto beef with mustard on it. I can’t wait! Day 284: Typing on day 285. That meal was fucking lush! Checked on the car todfay and it would not start. Something is draining the battery so I will have to give it a run every day until I can get Julian to sort it. So, I WhatsApp’d Karen to borrow the portable starter. She dropped it off for me. We had the briefest of chats at the doorstep, first time we’ve spoken in weeks. She mentioned my hair! Day 285: NYE. I have just got back from walking to Cottersock and back. I would not have been able to do so without my new torch! I finished and published my double letter quiz on FB, including to the Virtual Pub group and the Oundle Chatter. It’s had some good feedback, I’m rather proud of it. I am going to make chicken casserole now (with dumplings - a first for me, I even bought some flour), have some beers and get a bit stoned. Before that, I am going to finish off my list of things I’ve done this year, including steps wlaked and hours listening on Spotify. I am quite proud of that list too.

Day 286: I fucked the dumplings up, added too much water, so that didn’t happen but the chicken casserole was good, just about to finish it for tea tonight. I also had pizza last night and went to bed at 5am. I have had a lot of good feedback on my list of 2020 achievements. I proud of it. K sent a happy new WhatsApp last night, around 00.30.

Day 287: No booze last night, so I was up before the alarm today (about 10.00am) Two walks, one on my own, another with Fog with a couple of beers. I fucking loved it! Watching datrts (World champs semi finals - been texting Dan while the first one has been on). Going to watch The Aviator later...I’ve not seen it before which surprises me. Why it surprises me I do not know, since I know I haven’t seen it. How the fuck can I be surprised by a fact I’m completely aware of? Day 288: I didn’t watch The Aviator ‘cos Logan Luck was on at 11:55pm on ITV4. Great fildm...I can’t believe that I very nearly paid for it (rent from Sky or Amazon). A late one last night and quite pissed. Thinking about it, having afew beers with Fog in the afternoon made it quite a long sesh for me! Up at just gone midday today, nice long walk (Cotterstock) which was mde long by a painful right ankle - I must have turned or twiested slightly sometime. Still, it survived. Back to work tomorrow - Chrimbo and New Year all done and dusted for the 55th time in my life!

Day 289: First day back at work of 2021. Boris announces another full lockdown in England (there’s a new strain of Covid19 which is seeing huge numbers of infections every day, over 50,000 per day).

Day 290: Something is up with my right foot, the little toe pad. It’s bloody sore. If it gets any worse it’ll affect my walking and exercise. I phoned Anne Bennison to talk about it, she just wants me to go and see her which i donlt want to do if poss, pandemic and all that.

Day 291: Wearing my sandals instead of the M&S slippers and my foot/toepad is already feeling bteer. However, I did inspect my Merrell boots, just in case, and the sole on te right is really worn down, in just three months. I have sent a WhatsApp to CotswoldOutdoors, where I got them from....let’s see what they say! It’s all kicking off i  the US - pro Trump protestors have storm the Capitol Building, where congrees was being held. Only in ‘Merica.

Day 292: Busy at work with rolling out Qfiniti - all that project work was pretty much for fuck all since the SCCM package has to hand held. It’s feckin’ freezing today, below freezing, slippy af on my walks. I have been shopping tonight, £106 in Corby Tesco. That does include 8 cans of sapporo.

Day 293: The fracas at Capitol Hill on Wednesday left 5 dead, it looks like Trump will be impeached. He’s already said he’ll not attend Biden’s inauguration. In a fucking world gone mad, it’s another level of madness. It’s really cold -3℃ tonight, more of the same tomorrow. Makes for brisk walks. I’ve just had chicken balti pie and chips for tea. It was so nice that I burnt the roof of my fucking gob. I’m on the Sapporo and about to have a smoke then watch Jack Reacher. I’ve (kinda) earnt after the first 5 day week for a while.

Day 294: Well, last night saw another late one...5am by the time I :went to sleep. Up at 2pm today with no instention of any exercise or walking or housework or fuck all, really. But, I did my exercises and a 9 mile walk. While I walked I came across Banners, quick 15 min chat and listed to Stage by David Bowie. He’s all over the radio right now as it’s his death’s anniversary tomorrow and his birthday yesterday. It’s a fucking good live album. A few beers tonight, eating trash, watching FA Cup highlights then End of Watch later.  Posh played today (first time in a while due to Covid infections) drew away to (shitty) Lincoln 1-1. Good point as Posh were down to ten men after 67 mins for a second yellow for handball in the area. Lincoln missed the pen. Fucking funny. Chorley, the non leaguers who knocked Posh out in round 2 of the FA Cup, beat Derby in round 3 today (albeit derby fielded an academy side of 11 first timers due to Covid ) - a great day for them!

Day 295: Up at 2pm swearing blind I’d not walk or exercise (again!) but, of course I did. I’ve done over 25 miles this w/e! End of Watch was brilliant last night. Well worth a rewatch, so emotional. I am making butter chicken as I type. I’ve added extra onion, garlic and, of course, chillies. It’s the spiciest butter chicken I have ever tasted! 

Day 296: One of those frustrating days at work when no problem of request I try to resolve goes without a hitch. After a 7km walk in the evening, took the car for a spin and cleaned the bathroom. Fucking knackered. It’s 11:30pm and I’m in bed typing this on the iPad! despite getting up so late, I feel knackered. 11pm bedtime for me, I reckon.

Day 297: Fucking busy at work, the States rolled out a new Okta trust policy and it caused mayhem. Meant my evening walk didn’t start ‘til gone 6pm. When I got back, clened the hall and stairs, made chilli (which I am about to have for tea (gone 10.15pm!) and showered. I’m, again, fucking knackered! Posh played Portsmouth in the EFL Trophy 3rd round at home. Won 5-1. Nice.

Day 298: Had an electrician rouind for the EICR cetrt. He was here until 2pm and it was a pain in the arse, having to work upstairs plus, with having to cut the electricity, all the smart devices lost their settings. And it was freezing up there.

Day 299: Work was impossibly infuriating. Not one pc remote session went to plan! It was pissing down a lunchtime during my walk but, I have to say, the cheap TargetDry coat copes fine in heavy rain for short periods. Everywhere is flooding again even though the rain turned to sleet. By my evening walk, it was dry but bloody cold. Then, when I got in I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor and the bathroom’s as well. I fucking done in! Chatted to dad today - same as ever!

Day 300: What a fucking work at week! I am so glad it’s Friday. To celebrate, I ordered new walking boots: Scarpas £121!

[runfast-runfar]

Wednesday things

1/16/20

✨ today’s been a day. My brother and I were supposed to go up to S.F. to visit the Friends set (I already went with my friend but wanted to take the bro!) but I ended up having to take thea to the vet. She’s been off for a bit and then threw up a few times and had some abnormal coloring in her litter.

So it ended up being a stressful, expensive day. But we’re all back home tonight together which is most important in this moment now. Taking things day by day.

✨ I had to go up to campus today to pick up a paycheck (thank god) but I don’t have classes on Thursdays which is nice! When tutoring starts I’ll have work alllll the days lol, but I love being on campus so I’m happy with that!

✨ went and walked finley in the afternoon and thank god it stopped raining for our walk! She’s older so I didn’t want her to get wet and sick. It was torrential pouring all day and stopped as I was going to walk her and stayed gone for our whole walk :) 🙏🏼

✨ then I went to Trader Joe’s for groceries! Spent way too much there but I had no food so it was kinda necessary!

✨ came home and listened to an hour of the book I’m reading via audiobook. And then went on a run while the rain held off!

✨ came home and made dinner: tofu scramble topped with sriracha, hummus, toast, multi color carrots, and edamame! Not photogenic food... buuuut it was amazingly delicious so 👌🏼

Now me and thea 🐱 are snuggling up on the bed while I watch Set It Up! Then at 10, gonna watch law and order svu before calling it a day.

✨ I have a long day tomorrow... gonna wake up at 7am to go running, for a follow up doc appointment at 9am, then an academic counseling appointment at 10am (that’s gonna be tight af...ugh).. then class from 1:10-3:15. Then I have to walk Finley in between that and going to work at 5 until 9:30pm!!

Oy vey!

[fireflys-glow-journey]

It’s the End of the Second Week (Part 1)

Today is Friday, January 17th. I’m currently waiting to start my shift at work, and so I decided to sit down and pop out this update. I made it through my first week of my last semester of college! I know that’s not saying a lot, especially since this is my eighth semester and I know the ins and outs of learning a new class schedule and adapting to new classes pretty well. But I’m extremely proud of myself for one reason: I stuck to my fitness schedule almost perfectly.

Monday: 2 classes, finished for the day by 12:30pm. Fitness schedule: stretch/yoga in the morning, full body workout in the afternoon. Monday is a good day, because I only have my two morning classes and then the rest of the day is mine with no work, research, or extra-curricular commitments! Because I have so much free time, I decided to make Monday’s one of the days where I work out in the gym. My sister was free, so she joined me! I won’t hesitate to admit that I used to hate going to the gym, especially on busy days, but honestly, I had a good time today! Because I hadn’t seriously worked out in a long time, I was really just getting used to the machines again and taking inventory of what my body can and can’t handle. First, I noticed that I’ve lost a ton of the flexibility I had from dance and soccer. Second, I realized that I couldn’t do as intense cardio as I used to be able to. But I didn’t feel too upset about this, because I knew that Monday was just the beginning of a semester of getting it all back!

Tuesday: 3 classes, research, and a club meeting. Busy from 9:45am to 8pm. Fitness schedule: yoga and arms in the morning. Tuesday’s are my busiest days of the week, so I decided to make this day a less intense one. I do a simple 10-minute yoga routine in the morning, followed by a 7-minute arm workout. It’s not terribly intense, but because I am restarting a regular fitness routine, I did feel a little burning in my muscles throughout the arm workout. 

Wednesday: same class schedule as Monday, work in the evenings from 4-8pm. Fitness schedule: stretching and yoga in the morning. Wednesday’s and Sunday’s are the least intense days. I like to call them my “rest” days, even though I am still doing some light exercise. The stretching routine I follow differs based on the day. For days where I only have yoga or a lighter routine, I use a 20-minute full body stretch video. Otherwise, I use a video that’s about 10 minutes long to help me warm up before the rest of my workout. 

Thursday: two afternoon classes, research. Fitness schedule: stretching and working out at the gym for a couple of hours. Thursday’s are my second-busiest days, but the nice thing is that I don’t have any commitments until 1:30! I get up at the same time every morning: 8am. This allows me to rest well and establish routine/habits as well as gives me plenty of time to go to the gym (and then some). Because my university has a large rec center, I decided to leave a half hour after I woke up to have time to work out, stretch, and explore the rec center a bit. It has four floors and many nooks and crannies with fitness machines here and there. On the third floor, there’s an atrium track with an area to the side where you can do weight exercises or take a mat and do yoga and stuff. I decided to take a mat and do my 20 minute stretch routine. Afterwards, I got myself a fruit smoothie with protein and went home!

Friday: same schedule as Monday and Wednesday, but work from 2-5pm. Since I only had a little time in the morning, I decided to do my stretch routine and arms. Shortly after showering, though, I realized that I was supposed to do abs instead of arms! I made a mental note in my head to do an ab routine on Sunday, when I usually only did stretching and yoga, and get back to my planned schedule next week.

I’ll make a part two since this is so long! Thank you for reading and keep glowing, little lights!

xx Firefly

[sarakuper]

New York, New York

Stop #28, Sept 28-Oct 6

We arrived in Connecticut to meet my dad and Denise, his parter, who graciously offered to keep our truck and trailer on her property while we spent time in NYC. My dad gave us a ride into the upper east side of Manhattan to stay with my mom for the night. She came downstairs with my childhood dog, Rocky, so we could introduce him to Jaxon and get them comfortable with one another. While walking them together up and down the block Mikey and Laura arrived and the 5 of us had dinner together. It been so long since we were all together for something as casual as dinner. It was so nice to all be together! Mikey and Laura slept in Inwood (upper Manhattan) that night at my Aunt Frema’s while me Sean and Jaxon got comfortable at my moms place.

Sunday morning we slept in, ate breakfast together, then my dad picked me Sean and Jaxon up to head to my Bubby’s in Queens for the first night of Rosh Hashana. Aunt Frema was preparing chicken soup and side dishes while also panicking about the caterers who had yet to arrive with the food they ordered for our meal. We helped set the table and get organized, meanwhile everyone else started to arrive. Denise and her son, Mikolo, Michael and Laura, and then Aunt Alane, Uncle Lew, and my cousins Aaron and Jack (who are like brothers to me). We were a total of 14 in my Bubby’s apartment and she couldn’t have been happier to have everyone there, although we missed Shelly who flying back to the states from Israel. By 6:30pm the food had finally arrived only 6 hours later than they originally called for. 

Rosh Hashana was always one of my favorite Jewish holidays growing up. It celebrates the new year and we get to dip apples and challah in honey to represent a sweet year ahead. Not to mention, the main food is always delish! To our surprise, even though we catered this year, everything still tasted home made. There were FOUR types of kuggel, which is not surprising considering this is a Kuper gathering. But seriously, four!? My dad made the classic potato kuggel in addition to the cauliflower, broccoli, and noodle kuggels. There was also chicken soup with matzo balls, chopped liver (which sounds totally gross but is SOO delish), brisket, chicken cutlets, and way more dishes that I couldn’t begin to name. 

I haven’t been with my family for this holiday since I moved to Colorado, and quite honestly it was so great to be together again for a happy occasion. We drank lots of wine, yelled conversationally across the table, and ate until we were stuffed. We could have had a second seating with the amount of food that was left, but again, this is typical for our family. We have major portion control issues! 

As the night came to a close Bubby handed out goodie bags to all the “kids”. She usually bakes for everyone, but with her current health and age she decided it was time to buy the cookies to give out. Everyone left one at a time leaving me, Sean, Jaxon, and Aunt Frema; we all slept at Bubby’s. 

On Monday morning I woke up to join my Bubby and Frema relaxing on the couch. My Bubby has the most comfortable couch in the world and I take a shloof (aka nap) on it almost every time I’m here. So, as per usual, I made myself comfortable with them. 

An hour or so later my Dad arrived to go to shul (aka synagogue) at Young Israel, my Bubby’s local soul. After he gets back we  have a “lighter” Rosh Hashana lunch with the many leftovers from the previous night, but before we that Aunt Frema and I went for a long walk in the neighborhood with Jaxon. My dad got back and we had a late lunch that ended around 4pm. We were so full, and I couldn’t believe that Sean and I were going over to Lew and Alane’s for yet anther Rosh Hashana meal with Alane’s side of the family. We were having ANOTHER massive meal only 2 hours later. I found Sean laying down on the couch in the room we slept in and he stared at me as he said “I… can’t… do this… again” referring to the large amounts of food we’ve eaten in the last 20 hours. Well, we did!

By the time we got to Alane’s, also on the upper east side, Sean and I decided to go very slow. Eventually we were able to eat another full meal of chicken soup with matzah balls, brisket, and lots of side dishes leaving our bellies stuffed once again. Most of the Jewish holidays are like a marathon of eating, and Sean certainly got to experience it first hand. 

We slept in the next morning, still totally full, and hung out with my 13 year old cousins Aaron and Jack who actually look 16. We brought over pizza and then walked to the park to play basketball. I love these boys so much, they are like my brothers! They are also my favorite people to hang out with when I come to NYC. 

Our dinner plans with friends got canceled, and so Sean and I decided to have a night downtown to ourselves. Sean also wanted to stop by Soho Ink, a tattoo shop not far from Chinatown where we planned to eat dinner, and at the last minute decided to get the tattoo right then and there! He has lots of gaps between his current tattoos that he “needs to fill” and so this time he got an axe. It turns out the artist who was available to tattoo him was a finalist on the most recent season of Ink Master, a TV show.

After the tat Sean and I walked through Little Italy and Chinatown to get our “must eat while in NYC” soup dumplings. Usually we eat at Joe Shanghai for soup dumplings, but we wanted to try something new. We headed to Tiny Shanghai and ordered 2 rounds of soup dumplings, cold sesame noodles, scallion pancake with sliced beef, and chicken broccoli with white rice. Overall the food was delish but way less authentic than Joe’s. Since we were in the neighborhood we went to some of my old stomping grounds like Whiskey Tavern and Ryan’s daughter. At both places, to my surprise, someone who worked there when I still lived here still remembered me and welcomed us with free drinks and a good time. It was a fun date night for me and Sean! I kind of got the feeling Sean would like to live here for a little bit, maybe just a year or two. I would never do that again! But, I really do enjoy visiting. 

Wednesday morning was a lazy morning until my mom got out of work early to spend the rest of the day with me, Sean, and Jaxon. We walked around the upper east side en route to a nearby park, but it was so hot walking on the streets we decided to sit in the shade at an outdoor table for coffee and ice cream. The rest of the late afternoon was spent prepping my favorite dish that my mom makes, fried pork cutlets with sweet cabbage and potatoes. Sam came over to join us for dinner before heading out to meet her friends. Theres nothing like a home cooked meal from my mamma <3

Thursday was meant to be spent hiking with Sam somewhere upstate but because of the cold rain we decided to skip it. Instead Sean and I met her downtown and went straight to Joe Shanhai’s for a soup dumpling lunch! Yes, soup dumplings again… we could never eat too many of those. We ordered 5 rounds between 3 of us for a total of 40 dumplings. Sean only had about 8 and the rest were split between Sam and I…. yeah…  :) We continued to walk around downtown heading to the lower west side and got ice-cream at a Japanese style ice-cream spot called Tayaki on the way. Sean and I had a war of throwing shredded coconut at each other. 

^^ This is what the entrance to Joe Shanghai’s looks like ^^

We walked to a place in the west village called Uncommon which had coffee, drinks, and snacks but offered endless games! I immediately thought how much the Elser’s would love it here! We paid for an “all day” pass which was $10 each or $5 if you have a student ID which Sam does. Sitting for almost 2 hours we played Ticket to Ride and Phase 10. Eventually Sam had to leave to head to class and Sean and I went uptown to take care of the puppers at my moms place. Almost immediately we all went back downtown to Uncommon to spend the rest of the night gaming. This time Tomo, Sam’s partner, met us and we started a new game of Phase 10, which really is so similar to Kaluche. For the first time in what feels like forever I won!!!! :) AND I whooped everyones butt. FINALLY! It was killing Sean, which gave me so much joy. He was trying so hard to get everyone to come after me so I would win, but Sam has been reading my posts and while she didn’t help me win, she definitely wasn’t going out of her way to try to make me lose. What a friend! 

Friday morning I had brunch catching up with my friend Sarah, whose getting married just before Thanksgiving! In the evening Sean and I went to Hoboken to go to visit my life long bestie Toni and her husband of 1 year, Ross. They have a lovely apartment and welcomed us with a beautiful Shabbat dinner. After dinner me and Tone spent the rest of the night watching youtube tutorials of how to do the shuffle (dance moves) and were sad by the realization that we don’t have the same dance skills we once did. Ross and Sean were watching sports but were totally amused by our efforts to nail these dance moves. Sweaty and tired, we did not reach our goal, but we did laugh our butts off. After saying goodbye and being sent off with a bunch of goodies we headed back to my mom’s apartment for a short night of sleep; we were waking up at 4:30AM to go on a fishing trip with my pop and two cousins.

4:40AM quickly came and me and Sean got ready for a long morning on a boat. We walked to my cousins place only 15 blocks south where my dad picked us all out to head to Sheepshead Bay. We fished from 7-12pm and had such a blast! After I took a quick nap on the boat I woke up with enough energy to fish and caught 5! At one point I caught 2 at once, and in total only 2 of them were keepers. Sean caught more than 10 fish, 1 being blowfish which was so fun to see!!! My dad and cousins caught a few too, and the ones we kept were filleted on the boat and packaged to take back for my aunt and uncle to cook for dinner. On our way back to the city we stopped for lunch at Roll and Rooster, an old school place thats been around for a long time! On the drive back in me and my cousins all fell asleep in the back seat, and of course Sean snapped a picture. 

The rest of the day was spent napping before one final dinner out with my dad and Denise. Being exhausted from the long day we didn’t stay out long and went to bed shortly after. Both Rocky and Jaxon put us to bed that night. I think they had the best time together! And Jaxon certainly loves his grandma Annette (my mom) because maaaaan did she give him a lot of food and treats!

Sunday morning my dad gave us a ride back to Denise’s house in CT where we packed up our stuff, prepared the trailer, and hit the road to head back to Colorado for Taylor and Ej’s wedding! It will take us 4 days to get back to Colorado, but we couldn’t be more excited to celebrate the love and marriage of two of our best friends!!!! 

Thanks for reading fam, love you all! 

[writerofculture-blog]

Chapter 10

1994

“You know, it’s uncanny. Whenever I hear Freddie’s voice through the speaker, I still feel he’s right here with us.” Roger lit a cigarette as he and John smoked in the tearoom of their recording studio.

“How do you know he’s not.” John puffed a smoke, “I bet he is laughing at your ridiculous haircut right now.”

“Brian’s sci-fi mind is rubbing off on you Deaky. You got to be careful before you become crazy like him and curly hair start to grow out of your head too.” Roger stuck out his tongue at the younger man.

John snickered and finished the last smoke before putting the cigarette butt down.

“Roger, I’m done, it’s your turn now.” Brian called out to his blond bandmate as he entered the tearoom.

“Oh, here comes the fun killer.” Roger reluctantly killed his half cigarette as he saw Brian enter the room.

John smiled. He got up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair. He glanced at the clock on the wall that read 3:30pm. “I think I’m done for today. You guys okay if I leave now? I will finish my part up tomorrow.” He said as he put on his jacket.

“Sure thing.” Replied Roger, “but where are you going Deaky?”

“Got to take care of some business.” John smiled mysteriously as he turned around to start walking toward the door.

“Deaky…” Brian called as he grabbed John’s shoulder.

John patted Brian’s hand on his shoulder, “I will see you at home Brian.” With that, he zipped up his jacket and walked toward the door.

“Recently, he’s been leaving at this time pretty frequently. Where is he going?” Roger’s curiosity is getting the better of him.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Brian shook his head and poured himself some tea.

“But you two live together.” Roger commented.

“That doesn’t mean we are joined at the hips.” Brian took a sip of his tea. “There’s got to be some personal space.”

“Aren’t you curious though? What if he has a hot date?” Roger wondered.

Brian almost spurted his tea. “Hot date at 3:30 in the afternoon? For what? Tea party?”

Roger got up from his chair, grabbed his coat and run toward the door while yelling, “I’m going to bounce early too Brian, will finish tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Before Brian could react, Roger is out of his sight.

Just as Brian is finishing his tea and getting ready to go back to the recording studio to get more work done, his beeper rang. It is a message from Roger telling him to meet at an address in southwest London as soon as possible.

“What the hell.” Brian muttered. Concerned that it might actually be something serious, Brian grabbed his jacket and left the studio.

The address Roger sent turned out to be a small, quiet park at the side of the neighborhood street. Roger was hiding behind shrubbery looking into the park. When he saw Brian, he waved the guitarist over.

“What are you doing here?” Before Brian could continue, Roger covered his mouth.

“Would you please lower your voice.” Roger scolded in a hushed tone.

Brian frowned and looked at the direction Roger was staring. To his surprise, he saw John, with a boy of 11 or 12 years of age whom he did not immediately recognize.

“That’s Cameron.” Roger whispered. Brian suddenly remembered. The boy was indeed John’s second youngest son Cameron. They haven’t seen him for a couple of years, he has grown quite a bit taller compared to Brian’s memory.

So that’s what Deaky has been doing all those afternoons. Brian realized with a heavy pang of guilt in his heart. Oh Deaky, his sweet, considerate Deaky. He mustn’t want Brian to see how pathetic he was trying to reconnect to his children so Brian wouldn’t feel sad for him, to relieve his lover the burden of guilt for the situation which Brian know he has caused.

“Dad, I wish you could visit us sometimes.” Brian heard Cameron complain. “We all miss you so much. Laura was crying to Mum the other day wanting to see you after they had a big row. Josh is quiet and Luke is snarky, but I know they both miss you.”

John sighed and hugged his son. “I know Cam. You have no idea how much I miss all of you. You can bring them here you know, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If they want to come.”

Cameron nodded. “I will ask them.”

“How are Robbie and Michael. Are they enjoying uni? Enjoying the freedom?” John asked.

“I think so. Robbie still comes home once a week or so. Michael hardly ever comes home anymore, only when he runs out of clean cloth or food. Or that’s what Mum said.”

John couldn’t help but laugh at his son’s childish comment. “How is your mother by the way.”

“She is okay. I think she just works too hard and is too tired. That’s why she is short with us sometimes and why she and Laura just can’t get along.” Cameron replied sadly.

John rubbed the boy’s dark hair, “you help her Cam. You are a big boy now.”

Cameron nodded. “I do Dad. I wash the dishes on Monday and Tuesday while Laura does them on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Luke does the weekend. Josh helps to clean the table and kitchen.”

“That’s good. You are all such good kids. Dad is proud of each one of you.” John turned and brought a gift box out of the bag sitting on the bench. He handed it to his son and said, “it’s Luke’s birthday tomorrow. Can you pass on the present I got him? Don’t let him or your mother know it’s from me to avoid unnecessary fuss.”

Cameron’s face lit up in a smile. “Oh, don’t worry Dad. I won’t tell Mum. Luke will say something sarcastic but I know he will be ecstatic to get a gift from you, Dad.”

Brian wiped a drop of tear from the corner of his eye. He turned and walked away causing Roger to follow him quietly. He can’t bear looking at the scene anymore. He didn’t regret giving John the ultimatum two years ago because he had been so deliriously happy these past two years that he didn’t think it was possible. And he was sure John is equally as happy.

He knew there were consequences. He knew there were wounds. But he didn’t expect them to hurt this much. Watching the interaction between John and his son in the park, Brian felt multiple kicks in the gut. He felt even more painful than when his own kids wouldn’t talk to him.

“I’m sorry Deaky. I will try to make it up to you.” Brian murmured under his breathe while a plan was forming in his head.

Brian was pacing anxiously back and forth on the porch in front of John’s old house in Southwest of London. He was not able to get a wink of sleep the previous night which he spent watching John in peaceful slumber while stroking his now soft graying hair. This early spring morning, Brian snuck out of the recording studio the first chance he got.

Even if Veronica did give him a chance to speak, Brian was not sure what he was going to say. He had not felt this nervous for a long time. He just knew he had to do this. He had to do this for Deaky.

“What are you doing here?” Veronica shot Brian an icy glare as she was coming up the porch from her car. She was still pretty and well put together, but definitely looked older and thinner than the last time Brian saw her a couple of years ago.

“Ronnie?” Brian said hesitantly.

“Please stop calling me that. And you should know you are not welcome here, Mr. May.” Veronica snapped.

Brian sighed. He knew this was going to be difficult. “Ms. Tezlaff, I came to talk to you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. I have a busy schedule today so if you could please leave.” Veronica walked past Brian toward the front door of the house.

Brian stood between the woman and the door. “Veronica, please just hear me out for a minute. I want to talk to you about John and your kids.”

Veronica froze at the mention of her ex-hushand’s name. She turned away from Brian, “if you are here to laugh or pity at me. I suggest you leave now. I get it! John left. He left me and the children. You have him now. What else do you want?”

“Veronica. I now you don’t want to hear me say sorry, but I really am. It’s a difficult situation for everyone.” Brian took a deep breath. “John loves you. He never stopped loving you. He left because he loves you and wants to be honest with you. He loves his kids and it’s breaking his heart to not be able to see them.”

“Well, he should have thought about that before he left.” Shoulders shuddering, Veronica’s voice cracked and Brian could tell she was crying.

He tentatively put a hand on Veronica’s shoulder which she immediately shrugged off. Brian sighed and walked in front of her. “I know you are angry Veronica. I know you hate me. You hate John. But did you think about the kids? John is still their father. Can you tell me now that they don’t miss him?”

Veronica sobbed harder while Brian offered her a tissue. He continued, “when Chrissie first divorced me, she didn’t let me see Jimmy, Louisa and Emily for a good three years. I missed them so much that it was killing me every day. In the end, she backed down because she knew they missed me too. I know this is hard for you Veronica. John had hurt you deeply and you want to get back at him by not letting see the children he loves. But I also know each one of your kids miss John. Do you think it’s fair for them to deprive the chance of seeing their father?”

Brian did not say anything else, just offered more tissues to the teary woman. They stood there in silence except for Veronica’s quiet sobs. When she calmed down, she asked, “John told you to come today didn’t he? He doesn’t have the guts to see me himself.”

Brian shook his head and smiled sadly, “no. John doesn’t know about this at all. He understood you are angry and respected your decision. I came because I couldn’t stand to see John, you, and the kids all suffering so much. You have always been a kind and generous woman Veronica. I don’t expect you to change your mind. You need to take your time. But just think about what I said okay?”

Brian zipped up the collar of his Jacket and walked into the early spring rain. He never expected to hear the words, “Luke is going to have a birthday party today afternoon. Everyone will be here around 5. If John wants to drop by, it’s not the worst thing in the world.”

Brian was so excited that he almost ran up to Veronica and gave her a hug. He stopped himself and just choked out, “thank you Veronica. Thank you so much!”

As Veronica went inside the house, Brian could not tell the drops on his face were rain or tears of joy.

“Ronnie is an amazing woman.” John sighed.

Freddie nodded in agreement, “and Brian really loves you.”

1997

“Deaky!” Roger got up from the recliner as he saw his friend walked through the door of the lounge. He grabbed John in a bear hug which John gladly reciprocated.

“Roger, you and your ridiculous shades.” John laughed as he shook his head. “Can’t you just wear regular glasses or get contact lens?”

“Hey, I’m a rock star, not a nerd.” Roger sat back on the recliner chair and beaconed John to sit on the leather sofa beside him. “Come sit. Anything to drink, Deaky? Coffee? Tea? Booze?”

“Tea would be fine.” John replied as he sat down.

Roger used the phone on the side table to order tea for John and more wine for himself.

“You have gone soft Roger. You drink wine now? No more hard liquor?” John snickered.

Roger shook his head, “not getting any younger, Deaky.”

“So this is where you hang out now? VIP club lounge.” John raised his eyebrows as he looked around the fancy room.

“Just some peace and quiet from home, mate.” Roger lit a cigarate while offering John one.

John shook his head. “I quit. Brian made me.”

“I knew this would happen!” Roger exclaimed. “So where is Brian?”

“He’s coming from the recording studio. Will be here any minute.”

Roger leaned back and sighed, “since we made that Made in Heaven album, we don’t get to hang out as much anymore. I feel like I haven’t seen you two in ages. What have you been up to?”

John poured himself some tea and sipped. “Brian has been busy recording his solo projects, and also saving all the badgers in England. I have just been a home body really, reading some books, spending time with my kids. Oh, I enrolled back into the master program in electrical engineering at uni, the one I dropped out in 1974. But this time I think I will transition to doctorate program.”

“Oh wow, good for you Deaky. Brian will be so jealous.” Roger laughed.

“Who will I be jealous of?” Brian’s voice came from behind the pair as he walked through the door.

“Brian!” Roger set down his wine glass and jumped onto the taller man.

“Wow easy Roger. You are not as petite as 20 years ago and my back is not as sturdy.” Brian chuckled as he tightly hugged his blond friend.

Brian bent down to gently peck John’s temple before sitting down beside him on the sofa causing the bassist to flush for a short moment. Even after so many years, John still blushes at Brian’s intimate gestures in public even though this is just in front of Roger.

“Deaky is just telling me how he enrolled back into his doctorate degree he left 20 years ago.” Roger filled Brian in on the conversation.

Brian smiled proudly and rubbed his lover on the back, “I know. It’s great isn’t it? I am going to get my astronomy doctorate one of these days too.”

“Of course, you will.” Roger rolled his eyes.

“What did you call us here for Roger?” John asked, “it can’t just be because you missed us.”

“Well, I do miss you guys.” Roger said matter of fact. “But I also have something else on mind.” He turned to Brian, “I heard the demo of the song ‘No-one But You’, Brian. I think it’s great. We should record it.”

“I sent you that months ago Roger! You just listened to it now?” Brian pretended to sound hurt. “And yes. For your information, I do plan to record it.”

“Well, I am a busy man.” Roger snorted. “And no Brian. I meant ‘we’ should record it, as Queen.”

Brian and John shared a look before John replied reluctantly, “I don’t know Roger. I haven’t been playing regularly for a while.”

“Come on Deaky, even Roger thinks so.” Brian rubbed John’s shoulder, “you are so talented you will find the groove in no time.”

“Yeah Deaky. Think of it as a tribute to Freddie.” Roger knew the bassist could not refuse if their dear friend’s name was mentioned.

John agreed just as Roger expected. He and Brian exchanged a grin.

Brian poured himself a cup of tea, “I agree we should make and perform more music as Queen. But to do that, we need a new singer.”

“What are you saying Brian? Don’t tell me you are suggesting to replace Freddie.” John sounded surprised.

Brian shook his head, “never. We can never replace Freddie and nor do we ever want to. But when I went to see him the last time a couple of days before he passed, he told me clearly that his last wishes were for us to continue making music and perform our music to the next generation. In order to do that, we do need another front man. What do you guys think about Robbie Williams?”

“The kid from Take That?” Roger asked.

Brian nodded, “yes. I met him a couple of months ago at an event. He’s a good kid. He can definitely sing and perform. I got a call from Jim earlier today. Turns out he had been looking for a front man for us as well and he mentioned Robbie. I think he will be great for us and he is interested.”

“He’s a bit young don’t you think?” Roger pondered.

“That’s what we need, youth and energy.” Brian chuckled, “no one wants to see old ladies still rocking away. Besides, we were the similar age when we started. Deaky was even younger.”

Roger shrugged his shoulders, “you got a point. Yeah, Fred told me to keep on making music and keep his legacy alive as well the last time I went to see him.” Even after so many years, thinking about their charismatic friend still made Roger snuffle. “Let’s get together with him and discuss to see if we are on the same page. We need to do Freddie proud.”

Brian turned to the bassist, “what do you say Deaky?”

John got up and turned to look at the London skylines out of the window. He was quiet. He did not like this idea one bit. Just the picture of them on stage or studio with another person singing in Freddie’s place made him sick. Yet he cannot argue with Brian and Roger because he was the only one who didn’t have the balls to go visit Freddie one last time before he passed. He regretted it so much that to this day he could not think about the last days of Freddie without shedding tears.

‘I’m sorry Fred.’ John mumbled to himself as he felt his eyes getting watery. A pair of strong and familiar arms hugged him from behind.

“What’s wrong Deaky?” Brian whispered to his lover’s ear, “thinking about Freddie?”

Tears streamed down the younger man’s cheeks. John turned in Brian’s embraced and rested his head on the taller man’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can do it Brian.” John’s sobbed quietly, “I can’t imagine playing on stage with someone else in Freddie’s place.”

Brian kissed his forehead and tenderly stroked John’s soft hair with his fingers, “it’s okay Deaky. Fred wouldn’t be mad at you even if you can’t.”

Pictures of Freddie filled John’s mind. How Freddie took care of him when he first joined the band. How supportive Freddie was of his relationship with Brian even though they were both married men. How devasted he was when Freddie told them about AIDS. John really hated himself for being so weak. He couldn’t go visit Freddie during those last days. Now he couldn’t even help to carry on Freddie’s last wishes?

Roger came over too and hugged them both. “It’s okay Deaky. It will be hard for all of us. But it is what Fred would have wanted so we all give our best shot okay?”

John sighed and nodded. He cannot refuse to that.

Roger smiled and wiped off the remaining tears from John’s face with the back of his hand. “We are getting ahead of ourselves anyway. Let’s start with recording Brian’s No-One But You, just the three of us. Brian and I will sing. We see how that goes and we go from there.”

Thank god there are still Brian and Roger. John thought as he watched the support his bandmates showed to his future self. He stole a glance at Freddie standing beside him, who was quietly wiping off tears from the corner of the eyes but smiling at the same time.

[winterhcwk]

Dear Diary Part Two - October

Paring(s) - Eventual Peter Parker x reader; Mentions of Ned Leeds x Michelle Jones

Word Count: 1.3k+

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentions of self harm, mentions of abuse, angst, little bit of fluff, and a cliffhanger(if you see anything else please tell me)

A/n - Anything that is like this is an old entry. Hope you enjoy :)

Masterlist in bio, along with part one

* * *

OCTOBER -

10/1/18 Monday morning 7:28am

Dear diary,

Homecoming was amazing? I’m not really sure? I kinda did something stupid and I’m really nervous to go to school today.

10/1/18 Monday afternoon 5:30pm

Dear diary,

So, Peter kissed me at homecoming and I, of course, kissed back but when we broke apart I ran out of the gym and had my mom pick me up cause I’m a very stupid idiot. I feel bad about what I did to Peter. I really like him :( I was so embarrassed today at school. I avoided Pete like he was the plague I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him yet and even if I was what would I say?

10/4/18 Thursday morning 7:10am

Dear diary,

So I somehow managed to avoid talking to Peter for the last 2 days. I talked to Mj today she told me she had loads of fun with Ned. I think they’d make a really cute couple. She asked if I had fun and I told her what happened. She told me I should talk to him about it. But I don’t know if I can. I’m really nervous.

10/4/18 Thursday afternoon 3:00pm

Dear diary,

I talked to Peter today and he was pretty understanding. I’m kinda surprised he wasn’t mad. Although, I probably shouldn’t be he is Peter Parker after all. He said it was ‘totally okay’ and that he was also just as nervous as I was. And I told him that I was happy he understood. After we talked he kinda maybe askedmeout. Being his shy nervous self he stuttered a little but it was so cute! I thankfully, this time, didn’t run away but I told him that I wasn’t ready just yet to start a new relationship. I told him that I just needed time to heal and that I really do like him but I’m just not ready. I didn’t totally say no though I also said that maybe in a month or so we could go out. Just not yet. It’s too close to what happened. I’m not ready. He looked a little disappointed but he understood. He’s so nice, do you think I should tell him? No. He’d just ignore me afterward.

10/5/18 Friday morning 6:45am

Dear diary,

I couldn’t really sleep last night. Too much stuff running through my head. I thought about what happened at my old school and what I used to do to myself. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it just yet. Or even write about it. And as I was going through some of my old entries I realized how much this school and my…. friends? Have done for me, especially Peter maybe he would be good for me. Maybe he’ll be able to help me. But not yet. It’s too soon.

OLD ENTRIES:

1/6/18 Saturday afternoon 12:00pm

Dear diary,

I hate my life. Sometimes I just wanna end it all. Everything would be so much easier you know? No more having to worry about school or boys or you're reputation. I don’t know.

2/18/18 Sunday afternoon 2:43pm

Dear diary,

I really don’t want to go back to school. It causes me so much stress and there is so much drama. And on top of that everyone hates me for what I wrote in the school paper. Apparently it was too ‘real’ and some kids didn’t appreciate it. What the fuck??? I don’t appreciate being bullied or watching people be bullied but I have to deal with that so why can’t you deal with this? My school is really fucked up.

3/4/18 Sunday morning 11:00am

Dear diary,

Everyone at school hates me. Even the teachers. I really want to move. Everyone keeps pushing me, tripping me and calling me names. And I have no friends. I really hate it here.

3/10/18 Saturday afternoon 4:00pm

Dear diary,

I almost killed myself today. Everything at school just got too much. I couldn’t handle it. The name calling, the pushing, the way the girls talk about me like I’m not even there. ‘Oh look at her outfit it’s so ugly’ ‘does she even brush her hair?’ ‘Sweetie you should try something called makeup it’ll do you wonders.’ They’re just so annoying I couldn’t take it anymore. And I broke. So I cut and I almsot let myself bleed out. But I changed my mind last minute. Guess I really am a coward like people say.

6/13/18 Wednesday afternoon 4:32pm

Dear diary,

Today was terrible. I know I say that a lot but today was really fucking horrible. Scott he tried to…. I can’t say it but I didn’t like it. I think I’m gonna break up with him.

6/16/18 Saturday morning 10:37am

Dear diary,

I tried to break up with Scott. But when I told him he, he hit me. He said I couldn’t break up with him and that he wouldn’t allow it. I’m really scared.

7/18/18 Wednesday morning 9:32am

Dear diary,

I’m so happy. We’re moving. I can get a fresh start in a new school where, hopefully, everyone doesn’t hate me. And I can finally break up with Scott and get out of our… abusive? No not abusive he does it cause I deserve it, cause he cares. Right? No yeah I’m right.

BACK TO OCTOBER

10/5/18 Friday afternoon 3:28pm

Dear diary,

I talked to Mj today and she told me that her and Ned are going out. I’m so happy for them!! I told her about Peter asking me out and how I said I wasn’t ready yet. She asked why and I told her it was cause of what happened in my last relationship. She asked what happened but for some reason I, I couldn’t talk about it. I don't know what’s wrong. I’m worried because I really like Peter and I do wanna go out with him but I’m also scared he might turn out like Scott. I don’t know what to do diary.

10/7/18 Sunday afternoon 2:57pm

Dear diary,

Peter and I talked a lot this weekend. Thankfully he didn’t say anything about asking me out. Not once. He’s such a kind person. And he’s so cute and really handsome. He respects me and my boundaries I like that. I like him. I want to tell him. But I don’t think I’m ready yet. What do I do?

10/7/18 Sunday night 6:54pm

Dear diary,

I thought about it and I’m not gonna tell Peter. Not yet.

10/9/18 Tuesday morning 7:25am

Dear diary,

Everything thing with Peter and I is like how it used to be (kinda). He’s so patient and caring. I wouldn’t be surprised if another person started dating him before I was ready.

10/9/18 Tuesday afternoon 3:00pm

Dear diary,

Today was a good day. Nothing really happened. We had a test in gym. Yes an actual written test. In GYM. It was really stupid.

10/11/18 Thursday morning 7:17am

Dear diary,

I think today is the day we get assigned partners for art. I really hope we aren’t being graded on how good it looks cause my art isn’t the best…

10/11/18 Thursday afternoon 3:20pm

Dear diary,

I got my partner for the art project. It’s Mj and I’m really relieved cause she is awesome at art. So our project won’t totally suck.

10/12/18 Friday morning 7:20am

Dear diary,

I think I’m getting better. Now that I have real actual friends that care for me I’m progressing and getting better. I’m really happy. Hopefully soon I’ll be ready to go out with Peter.

10/12/18 Friday afternoon 4:30pm

Dear diary,

Life’s good. I’m happy. I wish I could stay like this all the time. Being content with my life.

10/14/18 Sunday afternoon 1:00pm

Dear diary,

I thought life was getting better. Guess not. That’s what always happens. I think I’m good but the universe just hates me and makes something bad happen.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Taglist:

@underoospeter @petalparker @chinupdarling @underoosstark @the-quackson-brothers @austensepiphany @moonflowersandsparkles @fandomxobsessions @underoossss @spideycentral-1 @imthwipped

Wanna be added? Just ask!

Tagging other people for attention (I hope you don’t mind ily all):

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[terresdebrume]

I am home

Well, I thought weddings were tiring before but let me tell you French weddings have nothing on Cambodian weddings (soft edition)!

I am currently slumped on my couch, waiting for meal delivery (and also maybe death, judging by the sting under my eyes xD) and vaguely thinking that I should maybe consider getting up to put my laundry out to dry (that will probably wait until I need to get down for my food, tbh).

Longer account of the past three days under the cut!

Things started pretty good on Thursday because no one was late or got  lost or had major trouble, and the minivan was even at the rendez-vous  point on time which, it being Cambodia, is not always a guarantee, even  if we did book the van for our group. We strapped down for an 8 hours  bus drive around 9:30pm and chatted a little bit before settling down and all would have been fine if, like the driver had driven like a reasonable person.

Which he did not.

Apparently  (I couldn't see the dial) we drove at an average of fifty-ish  kilometers per hours, sometimes sixty, which you just should not do on  Cambodian roads, especially not at night, on account of

The  poor state of the roads (especially considering the guy ditched the main  road and went for the country roads, aka sometimes we were drivingon  dirt trails more than actual roads)

Everyone drives but  almost no one has a license, which means you get a lot of really funny  behaviors like people driving without lights at dusk, people driving  with their lights at maximum intensity all the time (including anti fog  lights) or our own driver taking turns fast enough to make us all think  about barrel rolls every time

Sometimes, a roaming animal  appears! I'm pretty sure there's a veal out there who's still a little  shaken from our encounter with it on Thursday night.

So,  the trip was strange. The driver stopped about ever hour to go and pee  (we nearly forgot one of our friends, Champey, at one point. He was  lucky his girlfriend noticed his absence) but apparently didn't know a  place where there were actual toilets, which is how at least one of our   friends accidentally mooned a passing car and then a random and adorable  woman ended up taking us to her home so we could pee at two in the   morning.

(Side note, there is something really eerie about having   about nine or ten people crossing a random family's main living space,   motorbikes on the left and people asleep on the right, trying not to   overheat in the warm layers they put on to fight off the chill of   overeager air con and whispering about their misadventures in   toilet-using while traveling and the perils of our driver).

At one   point, we stopped to deliver a package (and also I think another dude   who wasn't with us but whom the driver must have sold a ticket to on the  side, because that's prety common in Cambodia) and then things mostly went in an uneventful, if really bumpy, way.

Although of course I  think all of us would have appreciated it if the buss ride had NOT   turned out to take 10 hours instead of the estimated eight.

Anyway,  we got to Ratanakiri province mostly in time for the wedding (I think around seven ish?) and went to change. I had to limp because eight hours  in a bus were hell on my left ankle, which I now know for certain is  sprained, but other than that it went fine. We did a bit of washing up,  changed, got ready, and rejoined the wedding... and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I swear, so much of being a guest in a khmer wedding is about waiting xD

From  the outside, a lot of the ceremonies seemed to be essentially visual   things. Julie & Channy (the marrying couple) had to change outfits   throughout the day (Julie had EIGHT outfits to go through in a day! Plus  hairdos!) and a lot of the ceremonies seemed to be mostly about taking a  billion pictures of them under ever angle, slightly adjusting the pose  and thentaking another billion pictures from there. There was also a LOT  of talking, which I'm pretty sure doubled the length of everything and  felt really unusual to me... and then more waiting.

My favorite  part of the day was the last of the morning rites, during which the  newlyweds are surrounded by their parents and the attending 'stable  couples' and candles are passed around the circle of guests so they can  pass their hands through/over the candle and send the flames of love  toward the bride and groom. After that, anyone who wants it can go and  tie a red string around the couple's wrists to wish their marriage  longevity (the newlyweds are then supposed to keep the strings on at  least three days).

I didn't go and do that, because I really had to  go and prop my ankle up but also because I was embarrassed at not having  anything to give as an offering (I mean, I know Julie & Channy  wouldn't have minded, but I was still embarrassed). That is, honestly,  my only regret throughout the day x)

Anyway, after this ceremony,  which apparently the key one (as in the point where the couple is  officially married) our group was shown to the place where we'd sleep at  night and proceeded to 1. wash up a little and 2. collapse into a nap.  We pretty much slept on the bare hardwood floor so I was anticipating an  achy back when I woke up but that actually didn't happen at all which  was a great plus!

Then around six, we changed back into our pretty  utfits and went for dinner, which was delicious and greatly enjoyed.  There was one more ceremony, which I didn't see, and then some dancing  but at that point I went back to our sleeping spot because my ankle hurt  and it's not like I was going to do any dancing xD

In the  meantime, Champey (who took care of most of the dealing with the minivan  driver) had gotten a call from the driver who said he wanted to leave  at 4PM on Saturday, instead of 8pm like we'd planned. That was not  exactly well met by the group (at least the French portion was pretty  open about that. Khmer people tend to be more reserved about what they  think, but I'm not sure they were entirely un-annoyed either) but since  his argument was for security we thought it might actually be for the  best. So, we agreed, but asked him to drive us to a nearby lake we  wanted to visit on Saturday so we'd be on time. He was, apparently,  insistent that we should be ready to depart at the set time, which is  absolutely hilarious (in an ironic way) when you consider the propensity  of khmer people in general to not be punctual at all xD

(That's an  interesting culture gap tbh, and it would have been purely funny if we  hadn't been peeved about his wanting to change the departure time and  being difficult about our rendez-vous point in Phnom Penh the night  before).

So, come Saturday morning, we took the bus at ten (maybe  five past, mostly because of me, oops) went to the aforementioned lake  and dealt with the usual khmer/foreigners price difference, then had to  wait while someone (either the driver or the lake guards) refused to  take the $20 bill they were given on the basis that it was 'too damaged'  (it was not). And then, finally, WATER! :D

I'm a huuuuuge water  baby, I could spent entire days in the water if I have someone or a book  to pass the time with, so obviously that rejuvenated me in record time.  We had a great time there, bathed a lot, ate a lot (the caramelized   chicken was delicious) and I bought a shirt. It was really cool.

We  were mostly done around 3:30pm, so we called the minivan so he'd come and get us, but when the driver and his wife arrived and opened the   door, it turned out there were now two car engines there, one of which   was in the way of entering and exiting the minivan. It took something   like twenty minutes of insisting before the driver agreed to move it to the front, where his wife sat (she wasn't happy about it) because he   tried telling us we'd only reserved 15 seats in an 18 seats minivan   (wrong, we'd gotten the whole vehicle) and then apparently said the   engines were for a nearby delivery (they were still with us when we   reached Phnom Penh) and then the guys (minus me) had to move the engine up to the front themselves.

So that was fun.

The  ride back to Phnom Penh was as bumpy as the ride out of it, but there was a lot more singing and aside from two really scared dogs there   wasn't really anything of notice. We got proper toilet breaks this time (lucky for the periods-havers of the group) and even got to buy some   bamboo rice on the way there, which was a really nice evening meal :D

After  that, it was mostly a matter of waiting the ten hours to Phnom Penh,   getting in tuktuks (in my case, with one of the group members who   couldn't go home to her parents (or didn't dare ride alone?) at 2am) and  crashing into bed.

And today, or mostly this afternoon, will be mostly dedicated to being a couch potato until bedtime as far as I'm concerned xD

[foomatic]

It’s been two weeks since ClexaCon

and I think I’m finally collected enough to write about my experience. I have to break it down into highlights, or else we’ll be here all day, lol.

I was extremely grateful to be asked to be part of the team this year. You have no idea the amount of planning that goes into ClexaCon. You think you know, but you really don’t. It’s a testament to the drive and tenacity of the Con directors that ClexaCon is what it is. They learned a lot from 2017 and having a bigger team certainly helped navigate all the major and minor details of running a convention that in its second year has doubled in size.

Perhaps the most surprising thing for me on Thursday was the way everyone showed up for the two pre-con events we had planned: speed friending and the pool takeover. People were spilling out into the casino during the speed friending event, it was insane. And put a couple of inflatable rainbow unicorns in a pool and suddenly you have a queer pool party in full swing complete with awesome weather and every type of queer under the sun. It was such a gay oasis that one of the lifeguards pulled me aside (I had a staff badge on) to ask me what event was this for, because never had he seen so many queer women at the Tropicana pool. The best way I could explain ClexaCon was, “It’s like Comicon, but for queer women and allies.”  He was pleasantly surprised and thought the whole thing was pretty cool.

I averaged 3 hours of sleep each night during the con.  Call time was around 7:30 AM, and we didn’t get done until 8 or 9PM.  There was very little downtime, and I think for each day my first meal, besides coffee in the morning, came around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.  My first meal on Friday was courtesy of @weasal and @gramjams when I finally had a moment to see them on the vendor floor.  They fed me beer, because obviously they love me.  The hours were long, but at the end of every night, my friends and I managed to gather and decompress and reconnect after having a crazy day.  it was much different than last year.  Pretty much all of us had something going on during the con, so there were no opportunities for us to hang out and just enjoy ourselves as a group.  We had gotten a two bedroom suite, so it was ample space for all of us to chill, relax, and a have a few drinks together.  We made that time, late at night, to be together, even though we knew we had to get up hella early the next morning.  And I’m glad we did, because we are such a tight-knit Kru, and it was hard not being able to spend the time with each other. @rialize , @puregloryandgore @colesmcgee @blakeyyang @second-stringer @metriosity @bnnxp @pandabearsnsquids y’all are the best homies ever.  Also there’s more of us but they’re not all on tumblr, but they’re important tooooo.

Having the opportunity to film the guests backstage while they watched my vids made every sacrifice I made during the con worth it.  I almost felt removed from myself during those moments, like I was so zoned in and focused on getting the shot that I couldn’t let myself really enjoy what was unfolding behind my eyes.  I was hyped, don’t get me wrong, but subdued because when I was working behind the scenes during the times when the guests are away from the craziness of the con, I didn’t want to encroach on their moment of peace and start fangirling.  That’s the trade-off.  But seeing Isabella Gomez, Gloria Kellett, and Mike Royce shed tears watching my ODAAT vid; watching Dom tear up watching I’m On Fire and Kat placing a comforting arm around her waist; watching Emily, Tamara, Dom, and Kat crack jokes and smile during “Raise a Little Hell”; seeing Nafessa absolutely rock out to Run This Town watching herself kick ass on screen . . . these are fandom moments that I never even dreamed of because they were so out there and so unlikely to happen.  But happen they did and man I don’t think I’ll ever come down off that high.  Other fav BTS highlights:  Sarah Shahi calling me out for wearing a WayHaught shirt to the Shoot Panel, and also dragging a fan backstage with us; seeing the pure joy on Nafessa’s face as we walked through the convention hall; filming Chyler Leigh as the crowd sang her happy birthday.

My fav con story, however, happened on Saturday.  Around 3 PM the directors had ordered a massive Kentucky Fried Chicken meal for staff, and kept the food in the AV room.  Staff filtered into the room in a rush to quickly eat and get back on the floor, so you can imagine what it must have looked like in there when they were done.  KFC Armageddon.  We were too busy to really clean up, so we just left the mess there for the end of the night, to clean up before we left.  Around 5:30, there’s a knock on the door, and Lisa opens it to find Isabella Gomez and Gloria Kellett standing outside.  We both froze and had a deer in headlights look, but apparently they were there to talk a staff member and wanted to come inside. Inside the room full of chicken bones, dirty napkins, and half eaten coleslaw and mashed potatoes.  The room REEKED of KFC.  We mumbled something about having to clean up before they could come in but they said they didn’t mind and wanted to see us in our “natural habitat” so Lisa let them in while @blakeyyang and I quickly tried to clean up the mess.  They were so nice and gracious.  Isabella was doing something with her phone (IG story or something) and Gloria smiled and asked how our day was going.  They were really chill about being in there, so I took a chance and asked if I could get a photo with them, and they were so cool about it.  I mentioned that I had made their panel video, and thanked them for ODAAT.  Nothing but smiles from them, at the end of a really long day.

Saturday night was crazy (honestly was anything not crazy at this point during the con?).  I left the AV room at 7PM to go to Cocktails for Change to film, left there at 8:30PM to help set up Ascension, finally got up to the room at 10:00PM for a quick shower and bite to eat and was back down at Ascension by 11:00PM.  Filmed, drank, danced, went back up to our suite around 3 AM and don't remember anything after that except waking up the next morning in my PJs passed out on the floor next to my bed. Wild.

I don’t remember Sunday much.  I did get my Kat and Dom photo op, they are such lovely ladies.  I think at one point I was staring blankly at a computer screen, too tired to move or function.  I was also feeling sad that it was over.  There was a great deal of time tidying up and getting all our stuff organized for the movers the next day.  By the time I left the AV room they had already torn down the Main Stage Panel room; it was as if we were never there.  The vendor hall was full of bare tables, and I just stood there and took it in for a moment, to really let it sink in what we accomplished in those three days.  That night we all just chilled and reminisced about all the things we enjoyed that weekend.

A friend and I shared a birthday on Monday.  We kicked off the celebration by sleeping in until 10:30, then we visited the con floor one last time to make sure everything was loaded out properly, then we all went to Shake Shack and spent our first day outside in the sun since we had arrived there on Wednesday.  It was glorious.  We followed that with Dinner at Wicked Spoon and ended the night with a ride in the High Roller.

I feel like I haven't emotionally processed what the weekend meant to me, even now, two weeks later.  Sometimes my heart feels so full thinking about it, that I want to cry.  There is something to be said about being with your community, and knowing there is a tacit understanding and love for everyone there, even if you don't know who they are, because they are you, and you are them.  I'm thankful for all of you who showed up, who believed in us our second year and helped make it a success.  You guys made it all possible.

I also want to shout out to @bnnxp who is an amazing photographer and took a lot of the photos on this post.  See you in London, then ClexaCon 2019!