#was reading something and the kid was ONLY referred to as little bean and it made me want to scream

[m-imprefect]

i think ive officially discovered something that will make me stop reading something immediately. nicknames/incredibly stupid names for children.

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 2 | Decisions

Amanda hated this. She hated this whole this. Curses, she really hated this. 

Amanda had managed to shove her current troubles aside just long enough to focus on the thumb sized boy hiding under the park bench. After everything that happened, Amanda determined a few things. 

One, the boy was real. No hallucinations could move real blades of grass and whimper and cry like a real human child. 

Two, the child was alone at the moment. He kept looking around expectantly but refused to leave the pole more than a few inches before scurrying back to its perceived safety. 

Three, he needed to be taken care of. He had obviously been there for a few days, but Amanda couldn’t be sure. 

Finally, she needed to leave him alone. If he was more animalistic, Amanda didn’t want her scent or whatever to taint him. She thought some kind of parent might be back to collect him any minute. She knew some animals would leave their young for days on end while they hunted or lured off a predator, but she didn’t want to even consider the later. She also knew the law and abducting children was not something she wanted on her record - no matter how small or how in need the child was. 

At the same time, she couldn’t just leave him. 

So, she compromised with herself. 

She sat at a neighboring park bench, the whole time keeping eyes on the chipped base of the bench and the little tuft of sandy brown hair she could see. For hours, she sat and kept an eye on the small boy while also researching “tiny humans” on her phone. 

Sadly, she only found communities of authors and artists fascinated with small people with tails called “Littles,” which was part of a larger series written by John Peterson. There were other references to small, human-like beings who possessed sentience, but who knew what the little boy actually was. 

In all honesty, Amanda was focused so intently on the boy not only because of the whole situation, but because the distraction was a welcome one. It was far from relief, but it was a good way for her to keep her mind preoccupied at the very least. The tension of what to do next with her life and what to do with the boy loomed over her like the impending night. 

What made the evening even more tense was that the neighborhood kids came and began to play on the playground, kicking their soccer ball dangerously close to the thumb-sized boy’s hiding place. It was on the second time that Amanda moved back and sat on the bench just over the boy’s hiding spot that her anxiety began to calm. 

By the time it was sunset, the children had gone home with their parents and friends, leaving Amanda alone with the little boy. Amanda checked again and again and, sure enough, there was the little boy slumped over, barely awake. 

He had to be so tired. 

He looked so small and helpless right there, barely sitting upright against the cold metal pole. She looked into his dreary eyes and could see the spark of life draining away with each passing second. 

Amanda had been won over by her irrational, caring side. Whether the child was abandoned or not, he needed help. Amanda would return the next day with the boy if need be, but he needed help now. 

Nerves made her hand shake more than she thought as she knelt down and caught the eye of the small boy again. Dark circles were under his eyes, and he barely moved when she pulled the grass blades to the side. He was obviously exhausted to the point where he couldn’t even run away anymore. 

Amanda didn’t want to just grab him. He was probably very fragile. 

At the same time, she didn’t want him to run away either. A rough plan was in the forefront of her mind, and she was risking everything on it working. 

Based on all the fictional pieces she read about “The Littles,” all a “human bean” had to do was reassure the small person (because they really were just little people with mouse tails) and then the small person would trust the human. 

It seemed ridiculous, but it was the best laid plan that Amanda could come up with in her emotionally exhausted state. 

So, straining a forced smile, Amanda laid her hand onto the grass in front of the boy a few inches away. He whimpered and curled in on himself, hiding his fear filled eyes from Amanda. The way he shied away made Amanda think that the boy was bracing himself to be grabbed or pinched. The sight made her heart ache. 

So, she withdrew her hand ever so slightly and smiled again, making sure to appear as non-threatening as possible. 

“Hey, sweetheart. You’re okay. You’re safe now, okay? I’m not going to hurt you,” said Amanda gently. Was she losing her mind? Was this some sort of acceptance her mind needed to go through to begin recovering from her divorce? The boy’s eyes blinked away tears as he looked back up at Amanda. 

“Come on sweetheart. I won’t hurt you. Let’s go home,” she said. The child looked around but didn’t seem to find what he was looking for and, to Amanda’s shock, yielded to her request. 

He stood shakily, picked up something, and toddled forward until he stood at the tips of Amanda’s fingers. She held her breath as she marveled at the child as he glanced from Amanda’s hand to her eyes. Amanda felt her features soften involuntarily as she gazed at the boy. 

“I’ll protect you. You don’t have to be scared of me,” she said tenderly. “Come on. Just step on up, okay?” 

The sandy haired boy seemed to glance around once more, looking warily back toward the bench. Was he looking at something? What was keeping him there? 

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Amanda coaxed again. 

Then, turning away from the bench and his little hiding place by the bench, he lifted his foot and crawled up onto her hand. 

A shiver ran through her body as she felt his weight in her hand. Amanda thought he might vanish or that she might wake up at any moment, the whole thing being a dream. Instead, this impossibly small life crawled into a ball in the center of her hand, shivering and casting uncertain glances at her every few seconds. 

She couldn’t believe it. His weight was like a stack of just a few quarters in her palm. He wiped his eyes with the back of his dirt smudged hand. He looked up and met Amanda’s gaze once again, making her heart skip the next few beats. All at once, the fear and anxiety of being around this little boy in her hands melted away and was replaced by a protective surge she wasn’t expecting. 

“Hey there,” she said softly, curling her fingers so he wouldn’t accidentally fall. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 

The boy locked eyes with her and blinked. Was it just her imagination? Or was there some recognition in his eyes at her words? Then, amazingly, he offered the first little smile she had seen since discovering him. That look on his face alone created a wordless connection between them. Amanda could see the boy’s insightfulness, even at his young age, and it only strengthened her resolve to protect him. 

Without severing their eye-contact, she stood and began the trek back home.  Amanda never had such a nerve wracking walk back to her apartment. Keeping the boy steady in her hands step after step was a terrifying venture all on its own. Still, the most terrifying events were yet to come. 

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

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[littlestkoi-n]

a much too whiny rant about fic icks

I die a little every time pup, cub or Prongslet comes up in a wolfstar raising Harry (together or separately) fic. especially cub - it makes literally no sense????? are you sure it's Remus John Lupin I'm reading about??? it's his evil doppelganger, I'm telling you. I'm not even sure I could stomach that word ironically.

Prongslet is fine in moderation, I guess, but only as an inside joke, only coming from Sirius and only when Harry's a smol bean. but when it's Prisoner of Azkaban compliant I wanna claw my eyes out.

it's even worse when those terms are used not just in dialogue but in Remus or Sirius' internal monologue as if pup and cub are Harry's freaking pronouns or something. my cub, my pup, cub did this, pup did that... just call him boy or kid or his name for god's sake. I once saw sprog pop up and was delighted cuz at least it's actually british slang.

and don't get me started on Hadrian(us) James Orion Potter-Black (which is just... why the fuck would James give his son the name of his best mate's horrible father AND the last name of his horrible family?? and why would Lily agree to that?) who's simultaneously Lord Potter, Black, Peverell and Slytherin (and, sure, I have a visceral reaction to aristocracy wank in general but even ignoring that - the last 3 literally make no sense since "Lord Black" is Sirius until his death; and both Peverell and Slytherin lines bled into other families ages ago. so being a Potter automatically means you're descended from Peverells as well as being a Gaunt - from Slytherin. and the last of those is Tom Riddle Jr. but that wouldn't make any Potters "Lord Peverell"s or any Gaunts/Riddle "Lord Slytherin"s. those last names are dead. smh).

but, uh, this tangent technically has nothing to do with my initial complaints, it's just that at some point I started thinking of this naming stuff in tandem with nonsensical nicknames as they began appearing in fics together. which is a double homicide, truly.

and look, I definitely understand the desire to make Harry's original name something else cuz it fits nicely with POC Potters headcanon and Dursleys being racist dicks about it, but... Hadrian? I mean, it's not really a big deal when the fic mentions it being his full name but both narration and characters still refer to him as Harry for short - that makes total sense. however when after the name reveal Hadrian replaces Harry completely, it feels super weird and uncanny, making it hard to identify Harry's character in the story altogether.

although I guess you should all knock me off my high horse for being the biggest hypocrite ever, cuz I myself have a headcanon for Harry's name, even if it's less elaborate than Hadrian. also less Roman? that's another thing I don't get - if you want to create a better connection between Harry and his roots, why choose a name of a Roman emperor for a desi kid? since he's usually explicitly desi in all the Hadrian fics. so it's not that I have a problem with renaming him, per se, I just don't understand the choice of Hadrian.

for example, I recently read a fic where he was Pakistani and his name was originally Hami, which is a nice idea, actually, and makes sense for such headcanon. mine is Hari btw (हरि in Sanskrit), since I headcanon Potters as Indian, but I didn't come up with that name myself - just saw it somewhere a couple years ago and liked it. I think it's actually a pretty popular hc now? anyway, it's closer to Harry than any other name I've seen and has many beautiful meanings that resonate with what I think James and Lily felt towards their son. now, even though I still prefer his name being Harry regardless of ethnicity, I do entertain this silly headcanon from time to time - so yeah, I'm one to talk, boo me.

now, I probably should shut up since this rant has been entirely too negative already, but while I'm on the topic of icky names/nicknames I should circle back to wolfstar cuz gods know I'll never be brave enough to talk about this particular pet peeve in its own post.

Siri, Remu and Remy make my blood boil. Siri could be kinda cute when it's a silly childhood nickname from Regulus, but if any marauder or Lily calls Sirius that - immediate death. Si and Re are a teensy bit better in moderation and if used ironically, but still stab me in the chest. a couple times for good measure. the only somewhat acceptable short form of any of their two names for me is Rem, albeit with a stretch and only because it's an actual version of the name Remus in Catalan and Russian. I know I'm being way too dramatic about this (just like with all of my previous points) but I just don't understand the need to shorten their names. at all. they're only 3 and 2 syllables long and so mystical on their own that any shortening just makes them simultaneously more nonsensical and less remarkable.

both characters literally have established quirky nicknames in canon that you can play with and even shorten to Pads and Moons if you want. Sirius is not a digital assistant and Remus is not the main character from Ratatouille. stop this madness.

plus James is right there. his name has a ridiculous amount of diminutives - Jamie, Jimmy, Jim, Jam, Jem, Jay and even Jimbo if you're into that. why strip Remus and Sirius' magical names of their charm if you can have fun with common names? but I digress.

at the end of the day, my pet peeves are mine only and I should live with them in fragile peace. this post is a personal rant first and foremost and if you disagree, I'm genuinely happy that you enjoy the things I can't. fandom is a playground and we can all find some fun in different corners. I'd also like to point out that I'm not trying to take a jab at fic writers who use any of the aforementioned terms, names or diminutives. I'm only one person, so if I stop reading your work because of my petty biases, it's only my loss and not your problem. hundreds of other fans will enjoy it instead. so keep doing what you love and writing those characters however you want, it's your right!

so yeah, writers and readers - don't take it personally and have your fun! don't listen to me being mean! I'm just making my fandom experience way too convoluted for my own good.

[poppitron360]

what frank headcanons do you have?

LOTS and they’re very Leo-heavy (Like everything I post). I make it no secret that I will defend Platonic Valzhang with my life- their friendship is everything to me.

1. Frank is more socially competent than he seems, he’s very aware of how others are feeling, and knows exactly what to say and do to comfort them. Specifically, he knows a lot about PTSD from seeing his mom and her military friends coming back from war, and so he knows what to do when one of his friends have flashbacks/nightmares. For such a big guy, he’s surprisingly gentle.

2. He does not let his lactose intolerance stop him. He will take that as a fucking CHALLENGE. At easter, he will wolf down chocolate like there’s no tomorrow (and then tomorrow comes, and he regrets everything).

3. Only swears in times of absolute crisis, so when he does it’s a BIG DEAL. One of the Legion hears Praetor Zhang say “fuck” and suddenly SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

4. THE BEST HUGGER EVER.

5. Refers to Leo as a “smol bean” on multiple occasions.

6. Other nicknames include “Jason’s twink” “twiglet” “that annoying little gnat” and “tiny stick boy” (all lovingly)

7. GIVES PIGGYBACKS (Sometimes as an actual pig)

8. One time, Leo convinced him to infiltrate a kid’s birthday party as the magician’s rabbit, steal all the cake, and leave.

9. Brilliant cook- excellent baker. Makes a lot of cakes and cookies (Percy helps).

10. After much encouragement from Leo, he turns into a dragon and finally gets the courage to breathe fire (he was too scared before).

11. Loves to read- MASSIVE BOOKWORM- Reads Hazel bedtime stories. Soon Leo finds out, and insists on snuggling in next to them and Frank reads them to sleep.

12. Similar to the piggybacks- lets people ride on his shoulders. Mostly Leo, so he can reach high places (short people problems, amiright?)

13. Okay if you ask me my headcannons, you know that no. 13 is always “THEY’RE A SWIFTIE”- Frank’s not a big a fan as Leo (who knows her favourite colour star sign and shoe size) but has a couple of her albums. He gets properly into her after Leo forces it onto Hazel bc she said she wanted to listen to more modern music. The three of them make friendship bracelets together. Hazel is a debut girlie.

14. Leo paints Frank’s nails for fun.

15. Frank is the go-to guy for the dyslexics. Percy, Annabeth, and Leo all come to him with things asking “what does that say?”. He doesn’t mind except when Leo wakes him up at 3am (has that kid has ever heard of a sleep schedule?)- especially to ask him to read something Leo himself wrote.

16. Similarly, he helps Leo copy up all his notes into a format that’s actually legible- after Calypso’s island Leo makes sure the crew is able to carry on without him if he ever went missing again (he also wants to keep a record of his work just like the Archimedes scrolls he found).

17. Lets Leo rant about machines. Sometimes he just smiles and nods (because he doesn’t understand a single word) but Leo appreciates Frank not telling him to shut up about it.

18. Pretty much an old man when it comes to tech. What Is A Meme.

19. Just pretty much an old man full stop, and I am here for it.

The thing is, I always have a million hcs and as soon as someone asks for them I forget them all. I’ll probably remember a lot more as soon as I post this, but here is what I got for now. I’ve also posted a shit-tonne of Valzhang hcs in (one of) my massive Valzhang rant post(s), so you can find that here. Some of my favs here are recycled from that.

[homestuckreplay]

GRAND SNACK FUCKYEAH: Radioactive DLC

(page 679-695)

9/23/2009 Wheel Spin: Dramatic Irony Verdict: There's A Light Dusting

9/24/2009 Wheel Spin: Movie Reference Verdict: Movies Aren't This Good

I found that the 500s in pages dragged a little, but the 600s have honestly FLOWN by. Getting 32 pages in 4 days doesn’t hurt that. The Wayward Vagabond is such a fun character to read about, and also to look at - a little guy wrapped up in rags with only their beady, darting eyes exposed is the absolute peak of character design.

As well as being fun, I’m wondering what this WV section is doing for the story. After cycling through three human teenagers with lives that are strange but still grounded in reality, what does it mean for the story to be taken over by someone who’s not human, isn’t living in our time and place, and doesn’t hit the typical beats of ‘having a name,’ ‘having interests’ or ‘having a family member’? What does it mean for someone who previously gave story commands to become their recipient? What does it mean in a story called ‘Homestuck’ to suddenly center a character who is defined by their ability to wander?

In part, I think this is establishing mechanics for temporality and causality in the story. In much the same way that Homestuck took time to establish inventory and alchemy mechanics, we are now seeing the ability of the future to impact the past. (And all three of these mechanics relate to programming – you can tell this story was written by a computer science major). WV’s world is a future state of something, possibly Earth – although this could be leaving room for another twist – and it seems like their interactions with the Sburb terminal and possibly the bunker in general will contribute to causing this state. It raises more questions about how WV’s actions in the future will intertwine with John, Rose, Dave and GG’s actions in the present to cause this future, and if it is definite, or if it can be avoided.

WV’s perspective also zooms the story out further. Act 1 began by zooming in very close on John Egbert in a single location at a single moment, but Act 2 has zoomed out to show other people’s lives, across space, time, and even species – the only link between them being Sburb, this all encompassing throughline of the story. Going from John’s very real and relatable experiences (for many), to Rose and Dave whose lives are less likely to match those of any given reader’s, to WV’s post-apocalyptic location and alien biology, feels like a story signposting that things are constantly getting weirder and further away from reality.

The mentions of the etiquette book being eaten (p.679) and inquiries regarding a can opener (p.682) neatly clarify where we are relative to John’s timeline, so we can slide quickly onward to what WV gets up to when they’re not playing games on the computer. And that something is constructing a beautiful world made of and for cans, where cans of all contents can live safe and happy lives, celebrating the best mayor a can could ask for.

It’s SO good, and it’s so reminiscent of games I played as a kid. It makes me wonder if any of our other characters played games like this when they were younger – I think John, Rose and Dave are on a borderline generationally as to whether they’d be more likely left to entertain themselves or more likely surrounded by technology and activities. I can definitely imagine Rose playing pretend games, left alone to explore a huge house with her love of books and creative writing.

Regrettably, most of WV’s troupe of diverse citizen cans are foods that are actually sold canned, though some are more appetizing than others. I couldn’t find any evidence of mayonnaise being sold in a traditional can, although to my horror it has been sold in a spray can.

Common Can Items: BEANS, GRAVY, SHRIMP, ASPARAGUS, RICE, CORN, PEAS, HAM, POTATOES Rare Can Items: MUSTARD, BREAD, CHEESE, FLOUR, CHESTNUTS, SQUASH Legendary Can Items: MAYO

Can Town feels like a distraction from some more important foreshadowing that’s being done around it, and it works as a distraction because Can Town is the coolest shit ever and I would like to build it too. However, here’s a few other things I think will be important in future.

WV’s knife is ‘an old rusted one of those red mailbox arm-swing flappy doodads’ (p.683) while the ‘little red arm-swingy-dealy thing’ of John’s mailbox was highlighted on p.28. Are these from the same mailbox?

WV discusses their hatred of kings (p.687) with a black king chess piece stamped over their head. WV has probably had a previous run-in with the king of the ‘kingdom entrenched in darkness’ (p.424) which has led to their being a runaway.

WV finds four objects conveniently placed in a circle at one end of the bunker (p.688) – a firefly encased in amber, a can of motor oil, a box of chalk, and a nugget of uranium. These potentially all have use in this bunker – firefly to provide light, motor oil to open the storage units(?), chalk to track time(?), uranium to power the battery – some of those feel like a reach, but I’m guessing these objects will have other relevance later.

WV has a favorite color!! They eat a green-stemmed pumpkin (p.668), a potted plant (p.678), the uranium nugget (p.689) and two green sticks of chalk (p.691). Previously, WV said that a potted vegetable in John’s kitchen ‘LOOKS DELICIOUS’ (p.277) and that ‘THE GREEN TEXT WAS ATTRACTIVE’ (p.294), referring to GG’s messages. Eating the green things always happens so fast after noticing them that it loos instinctual. This inability to hold back from eating green things might be deployed for plot reasons later.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 1: A Fiñata Full of Death Bugs

~The Man Cave~

So, the secret was out. Jasper knew about Henry being Kid Danger and reluctantly, Ray had agreed to take the kid under his wing as yet another helper in his store and secret hideout. Honestly, he needed to stop taking children into his employment, the place was starting to be so crowded. 

It also didn't help that Jasper was the latest addition. He was a sweet boy, who'd never hurt a fly, but he was clumsy, a blabbermouth and let's face it, a bit annoying and weird at times. Henry wasn't worried and neither was (y/n), they knew he'd be fine, a little excitable at first, but fine. However, the same couldn't be said for Ray, who was frantically pacing a groove into the Man Cave's floor the next morning.

"I don't know about this, man, I dunno." He panicked, making Henry and (y/n) roll their eyes at him as they watched him from the couch. The young woman was still in her pyjamas, having wanted to stay comfy for the first part of Saturday and was happily munching her cereal as Ray worked himself up over the Jasper predicament.

"Come on, it's gonna be great," Henry told him, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." (y/n) shrugged, seeing that Ray was in one of his drama-queen fits again. If he got out of hand, she'd be the one to say some soothing words and cuddle him until he smiled again, but for now, it was best to just ride the wave.

"Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eating one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!" The large man pouted, not liking how Henry and (y/n) smirked at the memory. It was pretty funny to see such a muscly guy reading about Princess Sugarplum and her rainbow unicorn magic land. 

"Dude, I've known Jasper my whole life." The boy told him, but it didn't calm his boss down.

"That does not mean he's qualified to have a job here!" Ray pointed out, thinking that you needed special skills and references or some shit to work for him. 

"Ray, you hired me when I was twenty. I didn't exactly have qualifications, apart from my degree. Literally, no life experience." (y/n) gave him her annoyed face and he backed off. He hated and loved when she was right.

"Dah!" He groaned, not liking how his morning was going. Maybe Charlotte's enthusiasm could cheer him up. 

"Happy Saturday morning!" She smiled at her friends after coming down the tube with a grin on her face. Well, she was certainly full of beans.

"Yo." Henry returned her smile, glad to see that Ray was the only one freaking out about having Jasper around now. 

"Hey, Char." (y/n) greeted warmly as she scooped the last of her cereal from the milk in her bowl. She'd have to get dressed soon, but she could wait a little longer.

"Maybe you're happy," Ray grumbled, walking past the young girl to lean on the couch with his back turned on his friends. He was such a child sometimes.

"Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper working at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?" Henry asked his friend, who usually was another voice of reason around the Man. Cave, but it seemed like she was sceptical of Jasper's abilities to stay calm and collected too.

"I can't tell lies before breakfast." She shrugged and sauntered over to the auto-snacker so she could get some food. Ray was glad that someone was seeing sense, but Henry was about to ruin his mood again.

"Here ya go." The boy said and held out a candy bar for Ray to eat.

"What's this?" He asked, reading the scientific nonsense printed on the packaging. Something about protein or micronutrients and he was so busy deciphering the mumbo-jumbo, he didn't see (y/n) snickering as she slurped the honeyed milk left from her breakfast. 

"Lady bar." Henry deadpanned and milk erupted from (y/n)'s mouth as Ray shrieked and threw it away in terror. He looked at her with an expression of playful betrayal as she dabbed the milk away from around her mouth and shared a smirk with Henry. She was so beautiful like this; no makeup, no one to please, just her as natural as she could be, laughing and joking around with his beloved sidekick. It managed to melt some of his apprehension away as he admired the delightfully innocent scene.

"Scrambled eggs," Charlotte instructed the auto-snacker, wanting to get some food into her growling belly.

"Ew, I can't believe you like those." (y/n) grumbled to the girl as she overheard her order. She much preferred her cereal to start her day, probably because it didn't smell gross like scrambled eggs.

"Oh, he's here." Henry's announcement drew everyone's focus away from Charlotte's eggs for a moment and they all looked at the supercomputer. The monitor showed that Jasper was waiting outside Junk-N-Stuff's door and Ray groaned loudly. As (y/n) snuggled into his side last night (insomnia had put her there, would you believe it), he had been praying for Jasper to suddenly change his mind or magically forget about Henry being his sidekick, but his wishes hadn't come true. 

"Hey, what's up?" Henry pressed the button that connected the computer's microphone to the speaker outside the store and Jasper smiled brightly. Ray frowned at the sight of the boy and (y/n) came over from her cosy spot on the couch to see what all the fuss was about. 

"Hey! Jasper Dunlop, here to see Captain Man and Kid Danger!" Jasper saluted his new boss, who blanched at his loud tone and quickly cut the link before the whole neighbourhood heard his yapping.

"Shhhhh!" Henry tried to quieten him down, but it was too late; Ray's feathers were ruffled.

"Did ya hear that? He's gonna blab all our secrets to the whole world!" He squeaked at Henry and (y/n), both of whom had to admit that Jasper had messed up there, but he'd only been at work for three seconds, they had to give him a chance.

"No, not after we show him our video," Henry said calmly, taking (y/n)'s advice that to deal with an overreacting Ray, you had to be the calm one. Henry didn't have her feminine qualities to help him win over Ray, but he could definitely be cool-headed.

"It's probably just first day nerves and excitement coming through. Give him a chance, Raymond." (y/n) stepped forward and loving rubbed her palms against his chest in a soothing manner, which was her special technique to get him to let go of his anger. It had taken a few years to suss out, but it was a good method and one that Ray enjoyed more than he let on.

"Fine. Just get him down here, get him down here." Ray caved and sent Henry off to collect Jasper from the store so he could show him the way into the Man Cave. 

"Hey, I think something's wrong with the auto-snacker," Charlotte commented to the adults as Henry disappeared into the elevator. 

"Oh, god, not again. What's the problem?" (y/n) asked as Ray grumbled. More problems? Typical, like his day could get any worse. 

"I ordered scrambled eggs and I'm still standin' here, eggless," Charlotte told her, but Ray wasn't up for solving anyone else's issues, just his own.

"Well, I'm stressed out! I need my wireless headphones." He replied and turned around to grab them so he could block out the world and all the annoying teenage boys it brought into his home.

"What about the...scrambled eggs! Eggs-o-day scramble-dee-oh-so!" Charlotte gave up trying to get help from Ray and thumped the machine for her food. Geez, she was starving and she just wanted one plate of eggs. Was that too much to ask?

"Mashed potatoes." The automated voice returned, making Charlotte frown.

"What did I say that sounded anything like mashed potatoes? (y/n), help meeee!" She whined and turned to the young woman for assistance. She knew about electronics and circuit board stuff, maybe she could get her some eggs.

"Ray, can you come help---ah!" She was taken by surprise as her best friend grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. She fell into his crossed-legged lap and instinctively snuggled against him as he caged her in and refused to let go.

"I'm sorry, I need to listen to my meditation music and hug my best friend and calm down my inner parts." Ray panted in hyperventilation and swiftly shoved his headphones over his ears and held (y/n) to his chest. 

"Aw, poor baby." (y/n)'s bottom lip quivered at how worried he looked and immediately set about doing everything she could to soothe his nerves. She had no idea he was this stressed and she stroked small patterns onto his skin with her pointer finger. He felt his anxiety smooth out as he let the soft music and the sensation of having the essence of his girl carry him off to his happy place.

"Ugh, useless...Ooh, here we go. " Charlotte groaned when she saw them shut out the world just so they could get some cuddle time in. No matter, she could figure this out herself and things were going well as the snack machine's hatch opened.

"Sweet girl, oh my god, I'm freaking out," Ray mumbled in a chanting voice as he pressed his lips to her head, hoping the fruity, familiar scent of her shampoo would ground him.

"Just relax, I'm here." She whispered and brushed her hand over his eyes so they would flutter shut. She just needed him to stay calm, so she ran her fingers through his floppy brown hair in an attempt to do so.

"All right, where are my scrambled eggs?" Charlotte pondered and foolishly stuck her head in the machine to see if she could yank them out. As expected, it didn't go to plan.

"Om--maha is not the capital of Nebraska." Ray carried on chanting, silently loving the way his girl was fawning over him. He always had her to help him through the bad times and now, his spine was tingling from the way fingers ignited his skin and her warm breath tingled against his neck.

"Get me out of here!" Neither of them saw how Charlotte had been sucked into the auto-snacker as her screams for help were drowned out by Ray's music and (y/n) had dozed off when the warmth of Ray's body seeped through her thin pyjamas and lulled her to sleep. 

"Ommm...Masaki is when you let your sushi chef choose your sushi for you." Ray continued to say random facts to himself as he cradled the young woman in his arms and the sound of his voice blocked out Charlotte's shouting. He was more than happy to let her sleep in his arms and to see her peaceful face was the most soothing thing she could've given him.

~Meanwhile, in Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry had welcomed Jasper into the store and the boy was full of enthusiasm for his first day working as Captain Man's secret assistant. This was his dream come true and he was adamant that he was gonna make a good start. 

"Why are you wearing a tie?" Henry asked as he noticed Jasper's unusually formal outfit. All he would be doing was serving customers in a junk store, he didn't need to look so fancy.

"Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression." The curly-haired boy explained, but Henry knew that he didn't need to put in so much effort. Ray was a stickler for formality, in fact, he kinda loved being goofy.

"Take off the tie," Henry instructed him and Jasper stroked the material sadly. He thought it looked rather dashing. Still, he followed after Henry and the two friends walked into the back together so they could take the elevator.

"Whoa, the back room." Jasper gasped at the unfamiliar territory, even though it wasn't that cool. It was just another front full of junk that kept the real wonder down below a secret.

"Uh-huh." Henry just nodded and stepped into the elevator, wanting to see the real surprise on Jasper's face when he saw the Man Cave.

"Now, uh...don't get scared." He warned him as he pressed the button. Everyone's first trip in that damn elevator was hell and it was certain that it would leave Jasper shaken.

"Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride." He shrugged, thinking that it couldn't be that bad. Oh, how wrong he was. As soon as the bottom was released from Henry's finger, the elevator dropped, making Jasper scream in terror as he felt his body go weightless. Henry, on the other hand, was perfectly cool and collected as he had had nearly two years to get used to the roughness of the trip down. They landed with a bump and the door slid open to reveal that Jasper was clutching Henry's leg for dear life. 

"Oh." He realised that his brush with death was over and he quickly got to his feet before anyone else saw how scared he had been.

"Okay, I got him," Henry told Ray, who had gotten over his anxiety enough to release (y/n) from his arms and let her go get dressed. He was waiting for her to get back and in the meantime, was bringing the floating TV down from the ceiling. 

"Hey, boss!" Jasper smiled brightly, feeling so proud that he was standing in the actual, real-life Man Cave and was reporting for duty to the Captain Man. 

"Good morning, Jasper," Ray replied in a strained voice. God, his cheeriness was annoying. 

"Guess what I'm wearing." The boy said happily, not realising that he was grinding down Ray's gears.

"A goofy tie?" The large man guessed, praying that his girl would hurry up and talk to the kid so he didn't have to. She was so much better at being nice to everyone than he was and it was probably why they fit so well together.

"No, what I'm wearing down here." Jasper pointed to his pants and everyone could guess what he was referring to.

"Okay." Henry cringed, wishing that Jasper could have said anything but that, especially to Ray and on his first day.

"Son, I uh...don't wanna know--" Ray tried to say that he didn't want to see anything like that from Jasper, but it was too late.

"Captain Manderpants!" Oh god. The sight of Jasper's underwear was too much for Ray and the knowledge that the kid was walking around with his face in his...made it even worse. 

"Henry?" He squeaked at his sidekick and now, he was thankful that (y/n) was still getting dressed. This wasn't something a sweet, innocent lady needed to see.

"Put your underwear back in your pants, you're making him uncomfortable." Henry hissed at Jasper in a mortified tone and he quickly rearranged his clothing as Ray pretended to text. Jesus, someone needed to break the tension and that someone was on hand to do it.

"Hey! Oh...hello, Jasper, nice to see you survived the elevator ride." A fully-dressed (y/n) smiled as she descended the stairs from the sprocket and gave her new friend a warm and inviting smile. If anyone could make him feel welcome, it was her.

"Yeah, thank you, Miss Danger," Jasper replied politely, not wanting to upset anyone else. 

"Oh, (y/n)'s fine, you don't have to be so fancy with me. And might I add that you're wearing a devastatingly handsome tie." She joked when she saw the hotdog pattern and her friendliness put the teen at ease. Her mere presence took the edge off the awkwardness for Ray too.

"Uh, where'd Charlotte go?" Henry asked suddenly, looking around for his other friend who had mysteriously disappeared.

"I dunno, probably somewhere." Ray shrugged, still feeling a little off at having a new, unwanted face in his Man Cave. 

"She was around here earlier, maybe she went to the bathroom." (y/n) offered, making sure to keep her manner pleasant since Ray was being so moody around Jasper. She didn't think the boy was so bad, sure, he was a bit silly and odd, but she was certain that he'd grow to be a valuable member of their team. Little did anyone know that poor Charlotte was still kicking and screaming inside the auto-snacker.

"Now, Jasper..." Ray started, but Jasper's exuberance got the better of him.

"Yes, Captain?!" He asked excitedly and gave a salute, which really pissed off Ray.

"First, never do that." The large man told him harshly, making the boy immediately drop his arm. Geez, Ray could be scary when he wanted to be.

"I don't know, I still kind of like the saluting." (y/n) commented, not afraid of Ray and his temper. Well, she was a bit, but she wouldn't let his childish anger walk all over her.

"Secondly, if you're gonna work upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, the most important thing to remember is to never reveal my identity or Henry's or (y/n)'s," Ray stated firmly, brushing over (y/n)'s silly comment. To see her so formal around him would be too unnatural for him, even if it was a joke and he just wanted her to be herself around him.

"I get it," Jasper confirmed, understanding that secrecy was their survival. He would never let his friends get hurt and he knew that Captain Man could count on him to keep his identity safe.

"You will get it," Ray replied huskily, confusing the woman and teen on either side of him. 

"Just show him the damn video." (y/n) rolled her eyes at his dramatics and Ray pressed the play button on his remote.

"Never tell the secret. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger. If you are watching this video, that means you know their true, secret identities, Ray Manchester, Henry Hart and (y/n) (y/l/n)." The video started and showed a photo of Ray and Henry smiling together as the large man held a beaming (y/n) in his arms. It was cute and one of their best ones together as a crime-fighting trio.

"I love that pic of us," Ray smirked at Henry, knowing that he and his sidekick looked awesome.

"Yeah, we look good." Henry nodded, thinking the same, although he was certain that he'd never drool over (y/n) the way Ray was now.

"Big-heads." The young woman shook her head at their huge egos and didn't see the way Ray was admiring her features on the screen, nor did she see how he took the time to gaze at her in real life. A goddess amongst mere mortals. 

"Help!" Charlotte yelled from inside the auto-snacker, but they were all too focused on the video, so her shouting fell on deaf ears. 

"Revealing the secret could have terrible consequences. Such as tragedy, the end of the earth as we know it and loss of bladder control. And now a personal warning to you from Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger." It was a crappy video and a bit too dramatic, but it got the message across, even if (y/n) hated seeing herself onscreen.

"Never reveal the secret. Or this could happen to you. Or worse, punk!" The three superheroes said in turn, trying to sound cool, but Henry's outstretched hand covered his face and when Ray tried to move it, it broke the cool façade.

"Hey, friend, guess what? Captain Man is really Ray Manchester and his best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), she's Miss Danger. And Kid Danger, he's a boy named Henry Hart. Ain't that a juicy secret?" Yeah, it was a weird video. Anything that includes a talking and giggling watermelon, is weird.

"Don't do it." The video ended with Henry, Ray and (y/n) frowning at the camera as they shook their heads and fingers solemnly. If that didn't get the message into Jasper's head, nothing would.

"Any questions?" Henry asked his best friend, who, being an odd boy, had a peculiar one.

"How'd you get that watermelon to talk?" He gasped in amazement, making Ray look at Henry with a pissed off face. This was what Henry wanted to bring into his Man Cave? God help him.

"We have them specially trained." (y/n) replied sarcastically and was surprised when Jasper took her words literally. She could already guess what it was going to be like working with him.

"Help! Help me!" Charlotte yelled from the auto-snacker, where she had managed to get her hand out of the hand.

"What was---Charlotte!" Henry exclaimed when he saw her hand clawing for freedom. The four of them ran over to the machine, but they had no idea how to get her out.

"I'm uncomfortable!" The girl shouted. It was dark and extremely warm in the auto-snack and not somewhere you wanted to stick your whole body into.

"Help me get her out of here!" Henry told Ray and the large man tried to use his superior muscle to prise open the door.

"Charlotte, sweetie, you're not meant to get into the machine just for some eggs!" (y/n) shouted back to the girl, who wasn't up for taking any criticism at that moment. Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Man Cave and the surprise of it made Henry and Ray let go of Charlotte's free arm. Well, that was all her progress undone.

"Uh-oh." Ray aid as he heard it and (y/n) was the first to rush to the computer.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked in confusion as everyone rushed away from Charlotte's problem and onto another one. He just went along with it, thinking that Captain Man probably knew best.

"Ah, geez. Something's going down at the airport." (y/n) groaned as the brief summary of the emergency flashed up onscreen.

"Ooh, is a flight delayed?" The curly-haired boy questioned, even though that wasn't a superhero's area of expertise. Bad guys and end of the world situations, yes, lost baggage and bad food, no.

"No!" Henry told him as Ray bit his tongue. If he said anything bad, it'd just upset his girl and he didn't want that.

"Not really in our job description, curly." (y/n) joked to Jasper, deciding that he should have a nickname to help him fit in. 

"Come on, kid," Ray told Henry and they both moved off to the side of the room as (y/n) kept Jasper back.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked, wondering what all the commotion was about. He was so excited to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, he could barely contain his burning questions.

"We've got a crime to thwart..." Ray started, trying to puff out his chest and appear all cool so (y/n) might look at him would adoring eyes. She did that anyway, always, he just never noticed.

"...At the Swellview Airport." Henry finished, smirking at how good he and his boss sounded.

"Whoa, do you guys plan those rhymes?" Jasper asked as (y/n) giggled. Only Jasper could take away a superhero's confidence just like that.

"Uh, no, no."

"No, they're super organic." Ray and Henry frowned, eager to just get off and go help whoever needed assistance at the airport.

"Aren't you taking Miss Danger with you?" Jasper asked yet another question, but at least it was on a topic Ray was more than happy to talk about.

"Nah, I'll sit this one out." (y/n) smiled at the boy as Ray pouted. He liked it when she came with him and fought the bad guys, it was like they were getting extra time together.

"You sure?" Henry asked, seeing the way Ray was getting all whiny and grumpy from her staying behind. Ugh, that meant he'd be pining all day until they got back.

"Yeah, go save the world without me, one flight at a time." She smiled and Ray begrudgingly accepted that she didn't always want to go out for every emergency. It wasn't a huge job, so three crime fighters seemed a little excessive and there was work to be done in the Man Cave.

"Wait, what about Charlotte?" Jasper asked, but Ray and Henry were already in the middle of blowing their bubbles, so any more questions would have to wait. The boy grinned in wonder as he watched them transform together for the first time and before they set off, Captain Man and Kid Danger ran over to the auto-snacker, where (y/n) had wandered over to check on Charlotte.

"Hey, Charlotte, how's it going in there?" Ray asked her like it was a nice getaway vacation or something. 

"It's going bad! Get me out of this thing!" She yelled back, feeling all sticky and claustrophobic from the hot, tight space she found herself trapped in.

"We can't we got an emergency," Ray told her, even though his best friend was determined to get her out whilst they were gone.

"I'm an emergency!" Charlotte whimpered back, making Ray feel a teensy bit guilty that he wasn't going to stick around and help.

"Can you breathe okay?" Henry asked, wanting to know how bad the conditions were for his friend.

"She's been in there for like two hours, if she couldn't breathe, she'd be dead." (y/n) pointed out and then Charlotte snapped back with some incoherent mumbling.

"Okay, what'd she say?" Henry asked the two adults who were none the wiser.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, I'm good, you guys go do what you gotta do"," Ray lied, making (y/n) roll her eyes at him. 

"You two, just go. I'll try and get the machine to spit her out." (y/n) told them and they nodded. She had no idea how she was gonna do it without some expert knowledge, but hey, she'd give it a go.

"Okay, Char. Schwoz will be back in two to three hours to help (y/n)." Henry told his friend as the young woman gave Ray a quick hug goodbye and a peck on the cheek. 'For luck', she kept telling herself like she wasn't just doing it because she loved to feel his skin under her lips.

"Two to three hours?!" Charlotte gasped, but Ray and Henry had already run off to the tubes.

"Wait! What am I supposed to do while you guys are out fighting crime?" Jasper asked the heroes as they slapped their belts and the tubes came down. 

"Just go up to Junk-N-Stuff and watch the store," Henry told him and Ray agreed. That was basically all Jasper had to do for a pretty good salary.

"But I have some questions about my job." The boy whined and Ray had the perfect solution.

"(y/n) can answer all your questions right after we say up the tube." The large man told the boy, making his best friends eye widen at how sneaky he was.

"Raymond Manchester, you get back here or--" She tried to run forward and give him a slap on the arm for leaving all of Jasper's questions to her, but it was too late.

"Up the tube!" They shouted and within seconds, they were gone, leaving (y/n) alone with Jasper and his book full of questions.

"Okay, um...when a customer comes into the store, am I supposed to tell them to leave or act normal?" He asked the woman, who smiled politely and sat down on the couch with him. At least they were starting off easy.

"Just act normal. Sell them whatever they want, but if they start getting weird or try to get in the back, press the emergency alarm behind the counter." She answered, glad that he was asking questions that she knew about.

"Okay...what do I do if a criminal comes into the store and threatens me?" He asked next.

"Run like hell and alert us down here that you're in trouble. We'll come and help you." She smiled, but it got a little tight as another question was asked.

"Okay..." This could take a while. Charlotte better sit tight.

~3 hours later~

"KEEP PULLING, SCHWOZ!" (y/n) yelled to the genius as they fought to get Charlotte out of the auto-snacker. He'd finally returned after hours of waiting and now, he was helping the young woman get her out. She'd tried everything, yanking, pulling, being nice to the machine, but nothing had worked, so it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around. 

"I've got the head!" He replied as he pulled from the sides of Charlotte's head whilst (y/n) kept the door from closing. They were grunting and straining from the effort when Ray and Henry came down the tube after their mission. 

"Hiya!" (y/n) smiled at them breathily as she used all of her strength to keep the hatch from closing.

"Ooh, what a pretty fish you have." Schwoz turned around and saw that his boss had a multi-coloured, cardboard and tissue paper fish thing in his hands.

"You're squeezing my head too hard!" Charlotte whined as she managed to her arms out. Just a little more and she'd be free.

"Well, what do you want us to do?" Schwoz asked her sternly, thinking that they were doing their best to help her and all she was doing was complaining.

"Let go!" The teen directed him, not realising what the implications of that action would be.

"Kay-kay." Schwoz smiled, more than happy to give his aching arms a rest from all the pulling.

"Wait, no, no, no! Schwoz!" (y/n) groaned as the girl was released back into the machine, undoing all of their hard work. Well, there was no point in holding the door open now.

"Uh, did Charlotte just get sucked into--" Henry started, but the young woman was too agitated to hear it all out loud.

"Yes. Yes, she did, meaning that the last hour of us busting our asses to get her out has been for nothing. Right, Schwoz?" The young woman hissed and looked directly at Schwoz, who wasn't that worried about the problem or her anger.

"Relax, I'll get her out in a minute." Schwoz brushed her off, which made her fold her arms and sulk at his complacent attitude.

"What's that?" She asked her best friend, strolling over to him in hopes that he'd give her a hug and make her feel better.

"This thing is a fiñata." Ray smiled at her, but she eyed the "fiñata" suspiciously when she heard a buzzing noise come from inside it.

"Yeah, see, it's like a piñata, but, like, fish-themed," Henry explained, making Schwoz roll his eyes at how they were infantilising him.

"I know what a fiñata is." He said in an obvious tone.

"Um, Ray, why is your fiñata buzzing?" (y/n) asked as she poked one of the fish's fins, which probably wasn't a good idea. Ray manoeuvred it out of her reach and she got the message that it was dangerous in some way. 

"Well, I bet you didn't know that this fiñata is filled with live Zom-bees." He told Schwoz and shook the thing at the little guy, making him and (y/n) step back and hide behind the couch.

"Ayee!" Schwoz cowered as (y/n) covered her ears and glared at her best friend. That was a mean trick.

"Raymond, you can't bring Zom-bees into the Man Cave. If the fiñata breaks, they'll fly into our ears and eat our brains and y'know, I'm quite fond of mine!" The young woman pointed out and used her cutest eyes to make Ray get on her side. 

"Well, you'd be okay 'cause your super regeneration would repair your damaged brain cells, but we'd all die!" Schwoz corrected her, which made (y/n) feel worse. Why did she have to be the survivor of the Zom-bee attack and see all her friends get their brains munched on?

"We know," Ray told the genius and gave (y/n) his most calming smile. He didn't want her to be afraid.

"Yeah, so, how do we get rid of it?" Henry asked his boss, feeling just as nervous as (y/n) and Schwoz around the Zom-bee-filled thing.

"Uh, take it upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff. I'll call animal control and have 'em come pick up that fiñata of death." The superhero replied and gave the colourful fish a dark look. He wanted that thing gone before it freaked his girl out even more. 

"Okay, I'll bring it upstairs." Henry nodded, being careful not to break the fragile casing. He'd be the first one to have his brain eaten if they escaped and he definitely didn't fancy that.

"Don't forget to change your clothes." (y/n) reminded him, seeing that Henry was headed straight for Junk-N-Stuff as Kid Danger. That would be a hard one to explain if a customer saw him.

"Oh, yeah," Henry responded and tried to get his tube out whilst balancing the fiñata under his arm, which didn't go well. He stumbled and nearly dropped the thing, spooking the adults as it nearly split open.

"Hey, hey!" Ray gasped as (y/n) squeaked and hid her face in his chest, making his arms instinctively curl around her body to protect her.

"Geez, Henry!" Schwoz breathed out as the fiñata didn't break and the boy tucked it carefully under his arm again. 

"Be careful with that thing!" (y/n) whimpered against the red and blue material of Ray's tunic, her best friend running his hand up and down her back to calm her down.

"Guys, chill out, I'm not gonna drop it," Henry reassured them, not seeing why they were getting so worked up about everything.

"Do you have it?" Ray asked, just wanting to make sure he could manage.

"Yeah." Henry nodded, feeling like they were being a little too cautious. Didn't they trust him?

"Are you good?" (y/n) asked, also feeling a bit nervous at the thought of giving a load of death bees to a teenager to look after. 

"It's fine." He sighed, pressing the elevator button so he could just leave them to their worrying.

"Are you good?" Ray reiterated, not liking how his girl was still clutching him in fear. He wanted to ensure that Henry knew what he was doing.

"Ray...it's fine. Just...hug (y/n), she looks scared." The boy calmly told his boss and smirked when the large man gave him a grumpy look. It was like Henry wanted the woman to see that he was madly in love with her, what a dick.

"Okay." Ray let it go and returned to petting (y/n)'s hair, only Henry was a bit clumsy and on his way into the elevator, he nearly dropped the fiñata again, making the adults look at him with fear as he struggled to catch it before it hit the floor.

"AHHH, THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!" (y/n) screamed and jumped so her legs could wrap around Ray's waist like a koala, clinging to him tightly as she covered his ears. She didn't want to be left alone, so she'd sooner protect his brain than hers.

"See what you've done?" Ray deadpanned to Henry as he supported the girl he was now carrying. The boy just hit the button and the elevator door slid closed, leaving the man to reassure his girl into letting go, not that he was complaining about how she had chosen him to protect her.

"Come on, sweet girl, it's okay, there's no Zom-bees." He cooed at her and rested his hand on his cheek so he could touch the one covering his ears.

"I don't want them to eat your brain." She mumbled, pouting as his eyes met hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt, he was her protector and provider, what would she do without him?

"I'm okay, sweet girl." He chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she smiled bashfully into his neck. What would he do without her?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

"And here's your receipt." Jasper smiled at a customer as he made another sale. 

"Thank you." The woman accepted it graciously and Jasper had to admit that so far, his first day working for Captain Man was going great. 

"And enjoy your vintage waterbed." He said to the customer, who was planning on using it for or...with her cats. Weird. 

"Uh, do you me to help you carry that to your car?" Jasper offered the woman, seeing that the waterbed was too large and heavy for one person to carry easily.

"Please." The woman agreed and they made small talk as they shifted the water-filled bag out of the shop. It probably would be easier to empty the bed before moving it, but no one thought about that.

"Hey, Jasper?...Yo, Jasp?"Henry yelled as he walked out of the elevator and looked around the front of the store for his friend. He had no idea that Jasper had stepped out to help the crazy cat-lady with her waterbed and he was about to make a massive mistake. Henry's whiz watch began to beep and he plonked the fiñata down on the counter.

"Hey, what's up?" He greeted Ray as he checked to see if any customers were coming.

"Schwoz, (y/n) and I are trying to pull Charlotte out of the auto-snacker and we need another pair of hands," Ray grumbled as he glanced at his friends who were still trying to get the girl out of the damn machine. Why it wouldn't spit her out was anyone's guess.

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Henry nodded and snapped the watch closed. There was never a dull moment with his job.

"You know I flaunt ya, 'cuz girl I really want ya. And you're looking nice, got me cooler than a bag of ice, now freeze, freeze, freeze." He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the elevator. Five Fingaz To The Face had been in his head all day and it seemed like it was in Jasper's too.

"Drop it fast and move it real slow, oh! What? You smell so fruity, I'm pirate and you're my booty, argh!" Jasper sang, shaking his butt as Piper and her friend came into the store. Well, this was embarrassing.

"Oh my god, are you rapping?" Piper cringed as she saw the older boy, who didn't see anything wrong with a little boogie in the workplace.

"Yeah." He confirmed, thinking his moves were pretty sweet.

"Well, don't." She snapped. God, it was so embarrassing to see her brother's dopey best friend dance and rap in front of her friend.

"Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me," Jasper told the little girl, but she didn't care. She was only nice to a few select people and Jasper wasn't one of them.

"No, I'm here as the customer, so you have to be. nice to me...THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled in Jasper's face when he tried to disagree and he quickly fell into line. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Piper and her fury.

"Hey, we're gonna be late." Piper's friend said as she looked up from her phone for the first time since she walked into the store.

"Late for what?" Jasper asked as he took in their outfits. Both girls were dressed to the nines in some really cute clothes and he wondered where they were going.

"A birthday party for our friend. So help us pick out a present, would ya?" Piper instructed him, peering around the junk on the shelves. There had to be something in this crappy store that would suit her friend.

"Does she like dogs?" Jasper asked, having something in mind, even though it wasn't remotely apt for an eleven-year-old girl.

"Yeah." Piper's friend said and Jasper walked over to a freaky skeleton on display.

"This is a dog skeleton. Woof, woof, woof...we'll keep looking." The curly-haired boy quickly discarded the creepy thing when he saw Piper's displeased stare. Maybe not.

"Hey, is this a fiñata?" The other girl said, picking up the deadly thing that Henry should've put somewhere safer. Obviously, someone would think it was just another piece of junk on sale and Jasper was none the wiser to its true, dark nature.

"Oooh, cool, how much for the fiñata?" Piper asked Jasper, thinking that it would be the perfect addition to her friend's party. 

"Lemme check," Jasper said and started to roughly turn the fish around in his hands so he could look for the price tag. If he knew what was inside it, there was no way he'd be shaking it so much.

"We don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Piper sassed as she watched Jasper shuffle the fish around.

"I'm checking for a price tag! I don't see one anywhere." He said, scouring the paper-covered fish for anything that could tell him the asking price. Of course, he wouldn't find one, it should be locked up, not sold to a child.

"Good, it's free then, thanks." Piper snatched the fiñata from Jasper's hands and made a break for the exit before he could stop them.

"The customer is always right!" She yelled at him when he tried to call after them, silencing Jasper as his second sale of the day made off without paying. That fiñata was about to cause him a load more trouble too.

~The Man Cave~

"Pull!" Ray yelled to his three friends as they tightly clutched Charlotte's ankle and tried to yank her from the auto-snack. It just wouldn't let her go.

"She's still stuck! Let her go, you piece of shit!" (y/n) growled and thumbed the hatch with her fist as Charlotte screamed. No matter how hard they pulled, Schwoz's invention kept her prisoner and it sucked her deep into itself, leaving her friends stumped.

"Well, how are we gonna get her outta there?" Ray asked as they panted. Physical exertion was futile.

"Hey, how about this?" Henry suddenly had a bright idea and smacked his palm against the screen.

"Charlotte." He ordered like he was ordering some fries or a milkshake.

"Charlotte." The auto-snacker confirmed and the young girl came flying out the hatch before bellyflopping onto the floor. 

"It worked! Nice one, Hen." (y/n) high-fived Henry as they all celebrated their success. Well, that was easier than they had thought. 

"You okay?" Henry asked his friend as she stood up and dusted herself off. Man, that was an ordeal and she was still starving.

"No, I am not okay! And I still never got my scrambled eggs." She said, walking over to the machine and bending down to look through the window of the machine. This time, however, it seemed to understand her order and a load of hot, steaming scrambled eggs were fired at her face.

"You, uh, you got something..." Ray pointed to her cheek as bits of egg plopped onto the floor.

"That's why I order cereal. Eggs are just bad news." (y/n) quipped, thinking it was pretty funny to see Charlotte's unimpressed face covered in the mess. However, her giggling was soon interrupted when the computer started to beep.

"That's Jasper, upstairs." Henry recognised the special beeping and realised that it was the signal from Junk-N-Stuff.

"Oh god, I told him to press it when there was an emergency." (y/n) panicked, thinking that he was being held at gunpoint or the store was on fire or some other disaster. 

"Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Henry opened the link and saw his friend on the monitor.

"There's two guys here from animal control, asking about some Zom-bees?" He told Henry as Ray and (y/n) wandered over. Well, at least he was using the line correctly, it was better to ask and make sure he was doing the right thing than just assume.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Henry nodded and remembered that he'd left the dangerous insects upstairs, unattended and with a boy who knew nothing about them.

"Yeah, yeah, Jasper, the Zom-bees are inside the purple fiñata," Ray told him, thinking that the matter would be swiftly dealt with, but things were about to get complicated.

"Oh, I sold the fiñata." He told them, making Henry and (y/n) choke on their own saliva as Ray took a minute to process his words.

"Great, then just give it to the guys--you sold the fiñata?!" Ray exclaimed in horror as Jasper remained oblivious to the cock-up he'd made.

"Yeah, and a waterbed." He smiled happily, thinking that his sales so far were good, even though one of them hadn't been paid for.

"Shit on it, wh-who'd you sell it to?" (y/n) asked frantically as she rested her hand on Ray's bicep and looked up at him in worry.

"Piper," Jasper replied, making Henry gasp. His sister? Seriously? Ray ended the call prematurely and peered at his friends with nervous eyes.

"Do you realise what'll happen if those Zom-bees get outta that fiñata?" He questioned the boy, who was seriously freaking out. He couldn't have his sister die from a bee eating her brain!

"Okay, okay, let's not panic about this. I'm sure that Piper just took it home and put it in her bedroom or something." (y/n) told the boy calmly as she theorised that Piper probably wanted it as a decoration. Little did she know that it was currently at a pre-teen's birthday party, being whacked viciously by a load of children looking for candy. They needed to get Jasper with them immediately.

~10 minutes later~

As soon as Jasper had closed up the store and stepped into the Man Cave Henry was all over him, interrogating him about the sale of a ticking time bomb to Piper. There was only a matter of time until the fiñata was smashed open and a load of people were killed.

"How could you give my little sister a fiñata full of death bugs?" The boy asked his friend sternly as Ray paced behind him, just as angry. (y/n) didn't think Jasper was to blame that much, he was just doing his job as they had told him. In the middle of all of this bickering, Charlotte had found a towel and was wiping the egg mush from her face as the argument went on and on.

"Oh, come on! It's not Jasper's fault!" The young woman defended the boy, wanting to be the one who was on his side since everyone else seemed so unfairly angry with him.

"I didn't know there were bugs in it!" Jasper stressed, glad that (y/n) was being so kind to him. He'd never endanger Piper deliberately, especially on his first day at work.

"Well, there are! There's at least fifty Zom-bees inside that fiñata!" Ray hissed, making the poor kid feel worse. He really didn't mean any harm. 

"Okay, yelling at Jasper isn't gonna help anything." Charlotte stepped in too, joining (y/n) in defending Jasper.

"Thank you." He said. He was starting to get the picture that they were the reasonable ones around these parts.

"Do you realise how dangerous those bees are?" Ray looked at the two teens as Henry walked around with his hands on his head. 

"Ya! They fly into your head, through your ears, and then they feed upon your brain!" Schwoz showed them the information on his PearPad and tried to sound all dramatic. He really knew how to stir the pot and make things worse.

"You should not have worn that tie," Charlotte mentioned to Jasper, as she noticed the hotdog pattern on it. Was (y/n) the only one who liked it?

"Okay, just...did my sister say where she was going anywhere?" Henry asked Jasper, who bit his lip as he recalled every word Piper had said to him. There was a lot of shouting from her, but also...

"Uh...yeah! Some friend of hers' birthday party." Jasper remembered and it triggered Henry's memory about something his sister had been banging on about for weeks.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh...Gabby Birch." Henry said the name as Ray and (y/n) dashed over so they could hear everything.

"Who's Gabby Birch?" Ray asked, too panicky to put two and two together.

"Her friend, duh!" (y/n) said as she and Henry reached for their gum tubes. That's right, she had her own tube now, all hers, no one else's and it made her feel like one of the team.

"Come on, let's blow and go," Henry told Ray, who remained still. Why wasn't he snapping into action like them?

"No, are you insane?" He asked them halting their movements before they could pop a gumball.

"What? We need to go grab that death fish!" (y/n) pointed out, but Ray had a fairly good point for holding back.

"We can't just run in there as Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger and be like "Hey, kids! We're here at the party because we were worried that some killer bugs might fly into your heads and eat your brains, happy birthday, Gabby!"," Ray rambled and the sidekicks got the message. They certainly didn't want to freak out a load of children and their parents.

"All right, all right, then...we just gotta sneak in, grab the fiñata and get outta there fast." Henry theorised and the adults agreed. It seemed simple enough, right?

"Oh, come on!" Charlotte protested, seeing a million things wrong with what Henry had just said.

"What?" The boy looked at her, thinking that his plan was perfect.

"How are you guys gonna sneak into a birthday party without being seen?" She asked, making a good point. They could just walk in unannounced, they'd get arrested for trespassing or for being creeps.

"We will need a cunning disguise." (y/n) smirked and rubbed her hands, knowing exactly what would get them into the party. Every kid had them when it was their birthday and it was a sure-fire way to be let in, no questions asked. Hopefully.

~Gabby Birch's Birthday Party~

Well, the party was in full swing: there were balloons, food, cake, music, toys and, of course, the fiñata, which was still being sadistically beaten by numerous little girls. Henry, Ray and (y/n) sneaked in and winced when they saw the rough treatment of the cardboard fish. Their disguises weren't bad, (y/n) had cleverly chosen them to be clowns since they always came to kid's birthday parties, even though no child ever wanted one. Sure, they were creepy, but it gave them the perfect way in.

Both males were wearing alarmingly bright, wacky clothes, face paint and wigs that gave them the clown aesthetic and hid who they were. (y/n) looked equally ridiculous, but also kinda cute in a way and she was sure that as long as no one looked too close, they'd be able to grab the fiñata and get out of there.

"Shit, Henry!" (y/n) gasped as nudged Henry as she saw the fiñata taking its beating and the boy quickly started shaking his boss's shoulder.

"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray!" He panicked, gaining the man's attention fairly quickly as he pointed to the tree where the fish has been strung up.

"What? What?" Ray asked annoyedly, but he was soon gulping like his friends when he saw how the girls were minutes away from breaking the fiñata.

"They're whacking the fiñata!" (y/n) said as Ray gasped, making him put himself in front of her so he'd be the first to be eaten if the Zom-bees escaped. He didn't want his girl to munched on, even if she would be fine, especially since she looked so cute in her little dress. God, it fit her perfectly and he was more than happy to admire her figure.

"I don't get why this stupid fiñata won't break." A girl yelled and her friends began to hit it even harder. This wasn't going to end well.

"Here I found a shovel." Piper came in and was immediately encouraged to beat the fiñata with it. Okay, the superheroes had to act before these kids released the death bugs.

"Dear God, she's using a shovel." Ray cringed as he watched the fish bounce from the shovel to the fiñata sticks and each blow was painful to witness.

"We have to do something." (y/n) hissed in his ear, but before they could, a cheery woman with a drink in her hand addressed them.

"Hello!" She smiled, making the clowns panic. How were they supposed to lie to this mom about being the entertainment at her daughter's party?

"Uhhh...hey."

"Hi, how are you?" Ray and Henry greeted her politely as (y/n) just smiled and waved. This was gonna be fun.

"Oh, I'm Mrs Birch, the birthday girl's mom." The woman introduced herself and shook hands with each clown, all of whom were feeling pretty awkward. They had no idea how to clown around and entertain kids, they just needed to grab the damn fiñata.

"Nice to meet you." (y/n) smiled nervously, but thankfully, Mrs Birch didn't pick up on it.

"Okay, so, which one of you is Burples and which one of you is Schmutz?" She asked, making Henry and Ray both choose the one that sounded better.

"I'm Burples." They said together, not liking the idea of being called Schmutz, but then they both sounded weird.

"I'm Schmutz." They then said together, confusing Mrs Birch and making (y/n) facepalm. This wasn't a good first impression.

"You know, we swap."

"We trade-off." They excused their weirdness and luckily, Mrs Birch took it to be a funny clown joke. 

"You two really are clowns." She laughed, thinking it was a compliment and the annoyed look on the boys' faces made (y/n) giggle too.

"Yes, they are." She confirmed, loving how the woman had called out Ray and Henry's bumbling behaviour, but then, Mrs Birch stopped and thought about how she had one too many clowns in her garden.

"Sorry, I thought we paid for two clowns." She looked at (y/n) who took a moment to think of a believable lie.

"Uh...well, I'm on work experience. Yep, and I'm just gonna be observing these two...being clowns. Free of charge." She punched out nervously, making it up as she went along and the mom seemed to be fine with it, thank god.

"Oh, lovely, what's your clown name?" Mrs Birch asked and again, (y/n) had to think on her feet for something clownish.

"Uhhhh...Phalange. Yeah, I'm Phalange the Clown." She giggled, reverting to her favourite made-up name for every time she went undercover. It was an oldie, but a goodie and it was convincing enough.

"Well, I'll just leave the entertainment up to you guys, then." Mrs Birch smiled and Ray, (y/n) and Henry could let out a sigh of relief as the woman returned to the other parents.

"That'll be great, ma'am, thank you." Ray nodded at her politely as he tried to channel his inner clown. It should be too hard for him, after all, he was a pretty goofy guy.

"Yes, we are professional clowns." Henry tried to sound convincing like he really was a guy who painted his face and wore baggy pants to entertain kids.

"Ain't that the truth." (y/n) added, smirking at the boy as Ray pulled them to the side. They got up to so much mischief, they probably could pass as clowns sometimes.

"Dang it, they're gonna break that thing open any second!" Ray complained as he watch the kids still whacking the fiñata.

"And then snack time for all those Zom-bees and bye-bye brains for everyone here." The young woman freaked out too, looking to her best friend for any ideas.

"Uh, ooh, I got a plan, I got a plan," Henry told them and before he could discuss it with the adults, he stepped towards the children and started to work his inner clown.

"Hey, kids! Hey! Hey kids, over here!" He yelled at them in a funny voice, baffling Ray and (y/n) as the kids looked at the weirdo trying to get their attention.

"What are you doin'?" Ray asked the boy, thinking that he looked and sounded ridiculous, but it was fine. Henry had a plan.

"Shhhhh!" Henry shut him up and returned his focus to the bored expressions of the children. Yeah, no one likes clowns.

"What?" Piper asked, feeling just as annoyed as all her friends at the rude interruption. She was gonna break this fiñata open if it was the last thing she'd do. And if she did, it probably would be.

"You wanna know what's more fun than whackin' a fiñata?" Henry jumped up and down and acted like all the clowns he'd seen at the birthday parties he'd attended over the years.

"Tell us!" The kids demanded, hoping that his suggestion would be worth them stopping their attack.

"Whackin' Burples the Clown!" Henry pointed at Ray with a huge grin on his face as (y/n) and Ray shared a nervous look. Why did Ray have to be the one who got beat up? Just because he was indestructible, didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

"No, no, no, no, no." Ray rejected the idea as the kids cheered. Whacking a real person seemed a lot more fun than whacking that stupid fish.

"You're indestructible!" Henry hissed to Ray, thinking that he was the best candidate for the job.

"So?" Ray looked at his sidekick in offence and then at his girl for help. She wasn't keen on the idea of seeing him getting beaten by a load of children, but they didn't have a better idea.

"So just take it or (y/n) will have to be the one who gets whacked!" Henry hissed in his ear and Ray swiftly sucked it up. Damn Henry, he knew his weakness; he'd never let his sweet girl take the pain when he was more than capable of doing so and the boy knew it. That's why he was busy dragging (y/n) off to the side as the kids ran over with their bats, sticks, shovels and planks of wood. Oh dear god, this would hurt.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Ray groaned at the first few hits came in and (y/n) whimpered at the sight of him being treated so cruelly. Why did these children have to love hurting people so much?

"(y/n), come on, he'll be fine," Henry promised the young woman and she knew he was right. Taking advantage of all the focus being on Ray as he tried to escape the kids' malice, the boy and woman sneaked through the garden and avoided the parent's gaze as they went for the fiñata.

Henry tried to snag it from the tree, but it was no use. Whoever had tied it on knew what they were doing and it would take more than a few tugs to set the fiñata free.

"You're gonna have to pull harder!" (y/n) hissed to the boy as he used all his weight to try and snap the string. Things were never easy; luckily, Ray was taking to blows like a champ and the parents were too busy nattering to realise what was going on. Seeing that he had an opportunity, Henry jumped onto the fish and used all his strength to climb up the string to the branch whilst (y/n) kept a lookout.

"Keep going, Burples!" She cheered on her best friend as he was hit by the hammers and bricks, but they soon had another problem on their hands. The garden gate swung open and two more clowns joined the party. Oh, shit, here came the real Burples and Schmutz.

"Hey, hey, who are those clowns?" Henry and (y/n) looked to see that they had company and gulped when the new clowns gave them some very dirty stares. 

"That clown ain't supposed to be here!"

"Yeah, we booked this job!" The real clowns snapped as the kids stopped whacking Ray, who was suddenly just as nervous as his sidekicks.

"Uh, look uh, there's a perfectly rational explanation---" Ray tried to keep things calm between himself and the men, but they were obviously very protective over their gigs.

"Why don't you shut up and get outta here!" A clown squared up to Ray, who wasn't the sort of guy to take that kind of attitude lying down.

"Keep trying to get that thing down!" (y/n) hissed to Henry, who nodded as she went to stand in between Ray and the angry clowns.

"Uh, are you guys threatening me?" Ray asked the men as his best friend came to his side, but he wasn't going to let her get hurt, not against these losers.

"Maybe..." The clown replied and jabbed Ray in the nose with a mean right hook, shocking (y/n) and Henry as they watched their friend take the hit. Oh, it was on.

"Ah!" Ray clutched his nose as he waited for the pain to fade, but (y/n)'s temper had flared and she wasn't going to let these two clown jerks hurt the man she loved.

"Okay, Burples, is that how you wanna play?!" She hissed at the man, her eyes burning with fury as she stepped up to the plate. She was taunting them, daring them to make a move and then, she'd give them what for.

"Go back to the gutter, bitch. It's where you belong." The other man growled at her, not realising that he could insult or hit Ray all he liked, but insulting (y/n) made the superhero furious. She didn't deserve to be spoken to so rudely, not be some two-bit clown in a crappy costume and Ray wasn't going to let them get away with it.

"Oh, that's it! You don't talk about her like that! You're going down, clown!" Ray growled at them as he stepped in front of his girl, ready to defend her honour. It enraged the man to see her be mistreated and the protective streak in his DNA told him to keep her safe at all costs from the morons and their harsh words.

"Come on!" The clowns put up their fists, preparing to swing again, but they didn't realise that they had just picked a battle with Captain Man and insulted the woman he loved. They were playing with fire.

"Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight!" The kids and parents began to chant with Piper being to ringleader as Ray circled the two men and Henry tried his hardest to get the fiñata to budge.

He jumped up and down on it and finally, it gave way, but Henry couldn't control his landing and he accidentally squished the fish as he fell on the ground. He and (y/n) watched in horror as the death bugs began to fly out of the fiñata, searching for their targets.

"The Zom-bees!" Ray shrieked as he saw the insects spread out and his hands flew to his head to protect his brain.

"Everyone! Cover your ears!" (y/n) screamed to the kids as she got in front of them, hoping that the bees would pick her brain to eat on and not theirs. However, it seemed that they were particularly focused on the two asshole clowns, who had covered their ears too late and were screeching in pain.

"It's hurting my brain!" They screamed as Ray opened the gate for them to run out and they took the Zom-bees with them. Well, that was that dilemma solved. Wherever the bees would go, it wasn't their problem anymore. All they had to worry about was how to explain what had just happened to the terrified kids and their parents.

"Uhhhh...Happy birthday, Gabby!" (y/n) nudged the boys for them to join her and they all smiled as brightly as they could at the little girl. Now, they just needed to get out of the garden before...

"Whoa, clowns? Mister and Missus Clowns?" Mrs Birch stopped them before they could open the gate and the three looked at her sheepishly, hoping she wasn't gonna call the cops on them.

"Yeah, what's up?" Ray and Henry asked politely, hoping that whatever she wanted wouldn't take too long.

"You're supposed to stay and entertain the children until five o'clock. That's, uh...two more hours." She smiled at them as she checked her watch. Two hours, ew, no thank you.

"Oh, uhhhhh." Ray stumbled and looked to (y/n) for an excuse. She was normally good at making things up.

"Oh, well, ma'am, the thing is, you see---" The young woman rambled, wracking her brain for an excuse, but she was cut off when Piper ran over to them with something to say.

"Hey! Gabby wants you clowns to make some stuff with balloons." She told them and Mrs Birch smiled at the idea. That would give them something to do.

"But we gotta go..." Ray shuddered at the murderous glare that Piper was giving him and his excuse dried up in his mouth.

"So do it." She hissed. Looks like they had no choice.

~

Well, this sucked. Making balloon animals was a lot harder than it looked in the movies or on TV and Henry was struggling to come up with something good. At least Ray and (y/n) had an idea of what to do.

"Look, kids, aeroplane." Ray presented his balloon creation with a bored voice and twirled the propeller to make them clap. To be fair, it was quite impressive that he was able to make one.

"Look, kids, a dog." (y/n) showed them her much simpler design and then passed it to a girl at the front as she rubbed her sore hands together. The balloons had snapped and rubbed them as she twisted the latex into something resembling an animal, but at least they were soon healing over. The perks of being a superhero.

"How people do this for a living is beyond me." She grumbled quietly to Ray as they waited for Henry to finish his masterpiece. Ray saw her discomfort and took a hand into his so he could try and massage away the pain. They'd get better on their own instantly, but he wanted an excuse to hold her hand and she was happy to let him go for it.

"Uh, look I made an X." Henry smiled nervously at the children and held his untied balloons together. He was useless at balloon-art and unfortunately, this was the best he could do.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. How much more of this do we have to do?" (y/n) asked the woman as Henry was just too painful to watch. Hopefully, they had killed a bit of time making their works. 

"An hour and fifty-five minutes." Maybe not. They still had ages left and barely any energy.

"Oh, god." Ray groaned and Henry handed him his balloons. It was mundane and agitating for the couple, who knew that they had much better things to do with their time than mess about for children, but it was okay.

Much better things were about to come their way.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

📕:3c

:D Hi!!!

Man okay so in early S2 I had this like whole anthology that I never actually wrote (in my head I always refer to it as the "Son of a Dad" series loool) that basically follows the kiddads between the events of S1 and S2, particularly as they relate to dealing with the doodler.

Among those is a more Sparrow/Nicky-centric one (could be read as platonic for sure tho it was kind of intended to be ambiguous), when both of them are quite young and Hero is the only one of the children to have been born yet. :3 Basically, Nicky is like "damn Sparrow is taking care of a baby when he should be at the club", goes to uh wherever Sparrow and Rebecca and Lark woulda been living at the time (undecided on that), throws rocks at Sparrow's window until he opens it like in the movies, and (oh it's nighttime btw lol Rebecca and Hero are fast asleep already) is like ">:] Come to the club with me Sparrow let's go dance" and well it takes some convincing but eventually Sparrow agrees and sneaks out the window to get crunk with Nicky haha.

So they do that, and MEANWHILE some doodler-related shenanigans is afoot, and the rest of the kiddads are freaking out cause they can't reach Sparrow or Nick (cut to them just having a blast). Back at the club, a drunken Sparrow eventually spills the beans that Rebecca is pregnant again, *and* that he's pretty sure Hero is technically Lark's. Oh SO in this version of the timeline Nicky and Lark actually had a brief fling years before this story takes place, and when Nicky learns this from Sparrow he does the math and realizes that this means Lark cheated on *him* (importantly, Nicky isn't correct about this, but that would be explored in a different fic in the series lol) and so. Well he doesn't say this to Sparrow, but when they regroup with the gang by the end of the fic (eventually doodler-related stuff starts to happen *at* the club, so the other kiddads wind up there anyways), Nicky gives Lark a punch right in the nose before storming off! Afterwards on the way home Lark asks Sparrow if he has any idea what that was about, Sparrow has no clue, and Lark concludes that he "probably did something to deserve it".

*Otherwise* (also near the end of the fic, when all the doodler stuff has been dealt with), Sparrow says to Grant that this might be the only night of his life since the forgotten realms that he's felt normal, even if it was just for a little while, and that he looks forward to when the world is fixed and his kid(s) get to have nights like this, in response to which Grant looks Sparrow dead in the eyes and tells him that things are never going to be normal again, ever (Grant definitely means well here but it kind of shocks the whimsy straight out of Sparrow haha). AND THAT'S WHEN SPARROW COMES UP WITH A NAME FOR NORMAL mhm as a wish, and kind of to spite Grant lol. I can't quite remember what I wanted to title this one, but I know it had "normal" somewhere in the name!

[Send me a 📓 and I'll tell you the plot of a fanfic I haven't written but daydream about!]

[palettepainter]

First of all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 🥳

Second. What is Caleb's and Lotties relationship with Janice and Floyd like?

I know that as their parents they love each other a lot, but are there ever any times where they clash?

Also what were Caleb and Lottie doing during Muppets Mayhem?

Thank yoouuu!! My bday itself is on the 29th and I am *so* unbelievably nervous for it! I’ll be 21….hoo boy-

If they where in Muppets Mayhem they where probably just chilling at the shack for the most part or hanging out with Moog, the band probably consider Moog like family since he’s been with them on the road for so long. I forget the name of Nora’s sister but Lottie would LOVE hanging out with her! She’d be team Moog’s official hype team in getting Moog together with Nora. I like to imagine both of them liking Miss Penny (Caleb in general likes everybody anyway-) and her begrudgingly growing fond of them but she’ll never say it. I picture her as the type of give them sweets but they’re really just cough drops or something 

As for their relationship they’re all a pretty knightly knit family unit!! I figured this ask would be more fun and easier to read with bullet points so here are some hc’s about Caleb’s and Lottie’s bond with their parents!

Caleb:

🐌 - Caleb was such a shy little tot, he was scared of everything that wasn’t his parents for a large majority of his baby years. He could only handle his parents and Animal, anybody else? He cried and screamed. He gradually chilled out as he got older but it wasn’t until he was walking about on his own did he learn the band are family and he was fine to be left alone with them without bursting into tears (Janice and Floyd have no clue where his anxiety as a baby came from but they did their best to manage it) 

🐌 - He was and still is a mama’s boy. He was the calmest with Janice as a baby and she was the one who was able to get him to calm down the fastest. Floyd was a tiny bit hurt by this, but told himself that babies can sometimes be funny like that and to give Caleb time (he did pout for like the entire day tho when Caleb said Ma first before Da, though his first official word was snail)

🐌 - It’s pretty obvious that Caleb takes after Janice’s laid back, tranquil personality so he’s not very confrontational like Floyd can sometimes be. But he does have a habit of being super sassy and blunt without meaning too (or *does* he mean to?-), which Floyd finds absolutely hilarious, especially when Caleb was still a kiddo and he’d just bluntly refer to Piggy by one of the many nicknames Floyd calls her (it was less fun for Floyd when Janice would as Caleb where he learnt such a mean nickname, and Caleb would innocently point to Floyd).

Despite them being very different Caleb still holds a healthy bond with his dad. Floyd already had experience raising Animal so he was pretty chill when Caleb came along and all the unexpected baby shenanigans he pulled. Even if Floyd never really understood Caleb’s anxiety as a kid he always remained patient and level headed whenever he’d get all worked up about something (totally sang to him as a kid like he did with Animal, Janice will forever insist it is the most beautiful thing ever). Their bond definitely got stronger when Caleb got older and he was allowed to hang out with his dad and uncles during their rehearsals. Overall they have a very chill, loving bond. Caleb loves to make occasional little pokes at Floyd being smaller then him. Janice is a string bean who is taller then Floyd and Caleb got all the tall genes, so he ends up being a couple inches taller then his dad 

🐌 - His bond with Janice is just as close, but as a kid Caleb naturally sought comfort from his mum as all babies do, and fond calmness in her easy going nature. Janice had her nerves at first, especially when Floyd - having already raised Animal - already had experience where she didn’t, but Janice and Caleb have a lot of similar interests so bonding came easy to them when Caleb was a toddler. They often bonded a lot over nature, since Janice wanted Caleb to have a very down to earth up bringing. Caleb especially loved to go snail watching with his Ma whenever it rained, one of his earliest memories is being outside in a grassy area as it rained and intently watching a snail that Janice had carefully placed in his hand. Then being swaddled in a big fluffy towel afterwards and having his hair dried (basically just watch the entire episode of Rain from Bluey). 

Janice loves to braid hair, so she would always volunteer to brush Caleb’s hair, she found it a very enjoyable bonding experience with Caleb, who always grew to love having his hair brushed.  

When he’s sad Caleb tends to go non-verbal (picture Bingo at the end of the episode dancemode) so when he was little he’d sit with Janice till he felt comfortable to talk 

🐌 - Even when he’s older Caleb and Janice are still close, he’ll often go to her first when it comes to more serious stuff he’s nervous about before bringing them up with his dad. They both like to mediate and talk about crystals together, and Caleb loves to infodump about snails to her, and Janice is always chill to listen. Caleb is a bit more aware of things then Janice can sometimes be, but even when she may be oblivious to something Caleb rarely get annoyed or angry so he simply lightly corrects her. Caleb still likes to have his hair combed/braided by her so sometimes he’ll just sit in front of her on the floor and she’ll start braiding it out of second nature 

Lottie:

🌸 - Lottie was basically the opposite of baby Caleb. She was loud and babbled, the only thing they had in common is that baby Lottie also demanded constant attention from her parents and uncles. In a way she was sorta like Animal as a baby, so Floyd was still very chill with everything, sort of rolling with the chaos Lottie brought. Janice struggled a bit more, since Lottie was such a stark contrast to Caleb, but her and Floyd eventually found a rhythm that worked for Lottie. Since Lottie was totally fine with the band from the beginning they where extra dotting on her to make up for the time they couldn’t fuss baby Caleb. Overall Lottie was still a demanding tot but in a very different way then Caleb. She also loved to pull on Floyd’s moustache (just like Caleb and Animal before her), Teeth’s beard and Lips’s goatee (she’d do the same with dear old Grandpa Tibbs and Mick. No bodies beard or goatee is safe-)

🌸 - She was close with her parents and her dear uncles, but as she grew up she was definitely more like Floyd. Lottie gets her sass from dear old Floyd and often likes to test the boundaries of how much she could get away with. All the dotting from when she was a baby kind of back firing in the bands face. Most of the time, Floyd found Lottie’s sass funny, expect when he’d get a taste of his own medicine and she’d be sassy right back at him (which the band found hilarious). This sometimes led to Floyd and Lottie bickering cuz their sass leads to them being stubborn at times, but they always end up feeling back for fighting and apologising, sometimes with some encouragement from Janice. 

🌸 - Lottie is still a little kid so she’ll sometimes be prone to pushing boundaries and testing how far she can bend the rules, but she’s learned to tone it down a notch. Her and Floyd still get along great, since they both share the same sassy streak and Floyd can easily manage her high levels of energy because he had to do the same for Animal (Lottie also ADORES her Uncle Animal. I know Animal is basically Floyd’s son but with the age gap Caleb and Lottie view him more as a really fun Uncle). She also loves all of Teeth’s shiny rings and other jewels so she likes to play dress up with them, sometimes forgetting to ask first but Teeth doesn’t mind. Lottie is also able to keep up with the bands energy a lot more then Caleb can, who sometimes needs to take a time out to go recharge himself

🌸 - Lottie loves both of her parents, she really does, but Lottie has ADHD and really struggles to do the whole “centring herself with her aura”, which involves a lot of sitting still. Lottie needs to move about to burn off access energy/stimulate her brain, so she can get frustrated whenever Janice wants to spend time together meditating. They bond a lot better over singing and dancing, Janice likes to do little imrov riffs of her guitar and Lottie likes to make up dances to them. Sometimes Lottie will pull Janice and Floyd up to dance with her and they have a lot of fun!

[miksterrr]

Sincerly, your only child. (Part Two)

who knew that having a teacher force you to talk to the school psychologist is a great writing motivator?

anyways this is a part two of a ninjago fanfic.

Part One || ao3

about 3k words btw

-

TW: Strong language (a bunch of f-bombs and more) Talk about not getting a childhood, mentions of abuse, small refernce (bleaching hair as punishment), talking about abandonment, mommy issues, letting down, references towards child negilence. Extreme misako bashing. (I think that's it- uh please let me know if there's anything else! also prolly cringey and a bunch of dialogue so)

The moment Lloyd closed the door, he broke down into sobs, running to go find someone- anyone, for some comfort. 

His legs took him to the kitchen, where he found Zane, cookbook open on the counter, and him reading through it dutifully. Lloyd blinked away a few tears before running in and crashing into Zane, smothering his face into the Nindroid’s stomach. Zane let out a little, ‘oomph,’ at the sudden weight, but didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Lloyd.

Over the past year, the ninja have learned that Lloyd is very touch-starved. Although they were deeply saddened by the news, none of them could claim to be surprised. So, they never question when Lloyd would hug them out of nowhere. At least, they wouldn’t if the Green Bean wasn’t full on sobbing. 

Zane’s brows furrowed, taking in Lloyd’s trembling body and the growing wetness on his chest. “Lloyd? What’s wrong?” Zane rubbed the kid’s back. Lloyd only mumbled something into Zane’s chest, inaudible. Zane sighed, but didn’t push. He continued to rub Lloyd’s back, and started to rock him.

“Woah- What’s wrong with the kid?”

Zane glanced up, watching Jay enter the kitchen. Zane shrugged, “Not sure.” He frowned. “He just walked in and hugged me.” 

Jay pulled a confused face, walking up to the pair. He ran a lightning scarred hand through Lloyd’s hair. Lloyd whimpered, trying to get closer to Zane. The older two gave each other a wide-eyed look. “Kiddo? Lloyd? What’s wrong?” Jay asked, scratching the boy’s scalp.

Lloyd gulped, trying to quiet his sobs. He sniffed, pulling away from Zane. He roughly wiped his face, trying to get rid of the tears. Zane tilted his head, putting a hand on Lloyd’s cheek, causing Lloyd to stare up at him. Zane gave him a sad smile, brushing away some tears. “Lloyd, sweetie, do you need help? Or are you just sad, and need some comfort?” 

Lloyd sniffed, leaning into Zane’s hand. “I… y-yelled at mo- Misako.”

Zane and Jay’s eyebrows jumped up. It’s not often that Lloyd yells, especially not at Misako. All the Ninja have grievances with Misako, it was hard not too. But they’ve restrained from yelling at her, in fear she’ll never return. But, passive aggressive comments weren't out of the question. The elder two shared a look over Lloyd’s head. Jay bit his lip. “Why’d you do that, L?”

“I told her she wasn’t my mother.”

Their eyes widened. Jay mouthed a slur of curse words, scarred hands running through auburn hair. “Oh.” Zane hummed. His brows furrowed, ice-blue eyes scanning Lloyd. “Can you tell us why, love?” 

Lloyd rolled his eyes, shrugging. “I mean, she isn’t.” Lloyd shook his head, red eyes glancing everywhere but the two elders. “She didn’t raise me, she doesn’t come back for me. She only comes back for Uncle Wu.” Lloyd huffed. “She doesn’t even fucking know my birthday. She doesn’t deserve that title.” 

Jay and Zane shared another look. Jay let out a low laugh, hands balled, crackling with electricity. Zane let out a breath through his nose, chewing on his lip. “She doesn’t know your birthday?” He asked, trying his best to keep his voice even. Zane pulled his hand away from Lloyd, wringing his own hands together.

Lloyd gave a wet laugh. “I don’t even have a birth certificate!” Lloyd rubbed a hand down his face. “I don’t exist.” He sniffed.

Zane took a deep breath, giving a side eye to Jay, a warning. He tugged Lloyd back into his arms. “It’s okay, hon. We’ll get you a birth certificate!” Zane let out a small laugh. He pulled away from Lloyd again, but kept his hands on the smaller boy’s shoulders. Zane bent down to look Lloyd in the eye. “You exist.” Zane smiled, brushing back some of the blond’s hair. “I promise.”

Lloyd smiled back, eyes watering. He was fast to wipe them away. “Yeah Lloyd!” Jay tried, a half smile appeared on his face. “You definitely exist, I mean, I’m looking at you, kid.” Jay rubbed his hands together. “We’ll make you a birthday!” Jay grinned, his crooked teeth on full display. “You can take one of those ‘what’s my zodiac signs test,’ and that’ll determine your birth month, and then just pick your favourite number!”

Lloyd giggled, staring up at Jay. “That sounds fun.”

“Yeah?” Jay grinned back.

“Jaaayyyy- what’s taking you so long?” Kai groaned, walking into the kitchen. The brunet paused, finally taking in the scene before him. Jay’s hair was standing on end, his fingers were twitching every few seconds, a small electric current passing between them. Lloyd had dried tear marks on his face, his eyes noticeably puffy, and he was as close to Zane as he could be, without fully being in the ice user’s arms. Speaking of such, the room was noticeably a few degrees cooler than the hallway, despite the oven being on. “What happened?” Kai asked, hot anger crawling up his neck.  The three glanced at each other. Kai raised a brow, “Well?” 

Lloyd chewed his lip. Jay wrapped his arms around himself, studying the floor. Zane sighed, he glanced at Lloyd before looking back at Kai. “Misako doesn’t know Lloyd’s birthday.”

Kai’s eyes widened. “W-what?” He growled, amber eyes narrowing.

“Misako doesn’t know my birthday.” Lloyd remarked, he bit his tongue, slowly shaking his head. “She never filled out a birth certificate for me, she probably didn’t have me at a hospital.” Lloyd started to pick at his cuticles, but stared Kai in the eyes. “Legally, I don’t exist.”

Kai’s brows raised, he gave a short nod. “Okay.” Flames licked at his fists. He gave one last glance to his brothers, before turning on his heel, and walking down the hallway. 

“Wait- Kai-”

The three scrambled after the fire user, trying to stop him.

“Misako!” Kai called, a low laugh escaped him. Imprints of his feet were being burned into the ground of the bounty.

“Kai!” Lloyd yelled. He grabbed Kai by the wrist.

Kai ripped his wrist out of Lloyd’s hand. “What the fuck Lloyd?!” He whirled around to meet the smaller boy. “You could’ve burned your hand off! Bye-bye! Lloyd no longer has a left hand!” Despite his concern, Kai made no move to touch the younger boy, his hands still burning hot.

“I don’t get burned as easily as everyone else!” Lloyd retorted, raising his left hand. Kai glanced at his palm, there was maybe, maybe, a red tinge, if anything at all. Kai sighed, he rubbed his face.

“Okay.” Kai muttered. He closed eyes, taking a deep breath in, before opening them again. “Okay.” He repeated. He stared into Lloyd’s pleading ruby eyes. “Okay. Tell me what happened.”

Lloyd glanced back at Jay and Zane before looking back at Kai. “Short version?”

Kai ran a tan hand through his spiky hair. “Sure! Whatever’s faster.”

Lloyd rolled his eyes. “Misako’s back. I realized she only came back for Wu. I yelled, she yelled. I realized she’s hated me since I was born because she was fucking scared of me. Then I disowned her.”  

Kai swallowed, brows furrowed, he slowly nodded. “Okay.” 

“Okay?”

“What the fuck?” Nya was behind Kai. Greased smeared on her face, hair a frizzy mess. She was dressed in black leggings and a red tank top. There was a wrench in her hand.

“Nya-” Lloyd tried.

“Where is this motherfuckin’ bitch-”

“Nya!” Kai yelled.

Nya’s cyan eyes snapped to Kai. 

Kai gulped.

“You’re burning your fucking footprints into the floor Kai. You don’t get to talk.”

Kai sputtured. Jay and Zane shared a tired look. Lloyd was looking somewhere between angry and about to cry, again.

“Woah, party in here.” Cole snorted, coming in through the deck, broom in hand. He stopped, taking in everyone’s appearance. Zane and Jay have the same, ‘thank fuck your here Cole,’ and ‘get the fuck out of here, Cole.’ Lloyd was dressed in oversized clothing, making him look even smaller, and his eyes were puffy. Kai’s footprints were burned into the wood. Nya looked like she was the fire master, and not Kai. “What the fuck?” The ravenette sighed. 

“Misako gave Lloyd up because she was scared of him!” Nya was the one who spoke first, waving her wrench all around. 

“What the fuck.” Cole repeated. The bags under his mauve eyes seem even bigger. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He glanced down at Nya. “Give me the wrench.” 

“No!”

“Nya.”

“Cole.”

Cole raised a brow. “You’re not physically harming Misako.” 

Nya grumbled, “But-”

“Nya-” Cole sighs, holding out a hand.

“She deserves it!” 

“Nya.” 

Jay snorted. “Dad voice.” Jay whispered to Zane. Zane smirked. Cole’s gaze flickered to them, Jay squeaked. Zane raised a brow. Cole focused back on Nya.

Nya grumbled, handing the wrench to Cole. “Not fair.”

Cole rolled his eyes. “You’ll thank me later.” Nya quirked a brow. “Sensei won’t be mad at you.”

“Students.” 

Cole jumped, dropping the broom. He fell back in line with Nya, and turned around to face Wu and Misako. 

“Fuck.” Jay whispered. Zane pulled Lloyd behind him. Lloyd fisted Zane’s grey and blue cable knit sweater. Nya fell back to stand in front of the two, while Kai and Cole stayed in the front.

“Sensei.” Cole bowed. Kai glared at Misako. 

Wu gave a nod of acknowledgement to Cole. “Nephew.”

Lloyd stayed silent, his only movement were his fists tightening on Zane’s sweater. Jay moved slightly in front of Zane, almost trying to hide Lloyd even more. Cole glanced back at them, before turning to stare at Wu again. “What’s up Sensei Wu?”

“I believe I was talking to Lloyd, Cole.”

“I believe that Lloyd doesn’t want to talk to you.” Cole retorted. 

Wu raised a brow, he glanced at Misako. “Lloyd, I’d prefer if we sorted this out in private.”

“No need, Sensei.” Kai gave the old man a tight smile. “We already know what’s going on.”

Wu sighed. “Please. This is a family matter.”

Nya scoffed. “We are his family.”

Wu cringed. “Of course you are, but this is for blood family.”

“That’s fucking bogus.” Nya sneered.

“Language.” Wu reprimanded, he had a white knuckle grip on his staff. 

“Lloyd, sweetie-” Misako tried.

“Oh, don’t even try.” Nya laughed, her fists balled. She was eyeing the wrench that was still in Cole’s hand.

“Nya-” Wu tried again.

“Sensei, with all due respect, we don’t believe Lloyd speaking to Misako alone is in the best interest of his mental state.” Zane spoke up this time, he stared straight forward. 

Misako scoffed. “He’s my son.”

“You birthed him. You may be his mother, but you are not his mom.” Zane retorted. Misako’s face was turning red. Zane raised a brow.

“You have no right-”

“I have had the right since before your ‘son,’ ran into my kitchen, sobbing.” 

Misako glowered. She took a step forward. 

Kai did the same thing. Cole put a hand on the fire ninja’s shoulder. Kai glanced back at him. Cole quirked an eyebrow, mauve eyes glancing down at Kai’s fists. 

Misako paused. 

Kai sighed. He glanced down at his fists before rolling his eyes. They were small, twin flames, heating up on both fists. Kai shook them out. He kept his glare trained on Misako.

“Well, Cole.” Misako sighs, gazing up at the tallest. “It seems that you are the leader, so you have to listen to reason.” She glanced down at her watch. “If you would just tell your team,” She sneered. “That all I want to do is to clear some things up with my son, in private.”

Cole raised a brow, he glanced back at Lloyd. “Lloyd, bubs, do you want to be alone with your mom?” 

Lloyd shook his head rapidly, tears blooming in his starking ruby eyes.

Cole nodded, turning back to Misako.“Yeah, he doesn’t want to be alone with you.” A small smile graced his dark face.

Misako scoffed, she glanced at Wu. “This is ridiculous- He is a child. And you’re listening to him?!”

Nya snorted. “Kids have opinions, Misako.”

Misako sneered. She turned towards Wu. “You’re really going to let them talk to me this way?!”

The old man bit his lip, concerned shining in his golden eyes. He tried his best to get a look at Lloyd. “If Lloyd doesn’t want to talk to you, then he doesn’t have to.” 

The ninja glanced at each other. They shared a small smile. 

“Are you kidding me?!” Misako barked. “Well, assuming Lloyd told you all about his little temper tantrum, I just want to get a few things sorted out, before I have to leave again.”

Kai laughed. “Oh? You’re leaving, again? What a big surprise.” 

Misako rolled her eyes. “My job-”

“Oh, it’s all about your job, huh?!” Kai rolled his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Misako questioned, eyes blazed. “My job has given you important information.” 

“You left Lloyd at a boarding school, because of your job.” Jay piped up. “So, maybe, that’s why, we don’t care.” 

Misako growled. “My job was no place for a child-”

“Then where’s his birth certificate?” Zane asked. Cole and Nya’s gaze snapped back at Zane, their eyes questioning him. Misako froze. Wu stared at her, brows furrowed.

“Misako?” Wu questioned, old eyes switching between her and Zane. “What does Zane mean?” 

“That brat.” Misako muttured.

“Misako.” Wu hissed.

“Sensei Wu.” Zane started. Wu turned towards him. “Lloyd told me, just ten minutes ago, that he had a fight with Misako, where she told him she doesn’t remember his birthday and that he doesn’t have a birth certificate. She doesn’t know how old he is.” 

Wu blinked, hand covering his mouth. “Misako?” He whispered. 

“I was protecting him!” Misako tried. They all shared a confused glance. Misako gulped. “Lloyd would have become a science experiment!” A wobbly smile appeared on her face. “I was saving him.”

“Saving me?” Lloyd scoffed. He stepped out from behind Zane. “You made my life worse!” He gasped, he blinked away some tears. “You gave me to a school whose main mission was to turn me into a fucking villain, mom!” Lloyd heaved. “Do you even know what their punishments were?”

Everyone’s head snapped towards Lloyd. Kai and Cole glanced at each other, as did Zane and Jay. Nya stared at Lloyd, a hand covering her mouth. Wu looked like he was questioning his entire life. “Punishments?” Misako whispered. 

“Oh, yeah.” Lloyd snorted. “Punishments. If we were good, did a good deed, didn’t say enough fucking curse words, we’d get punished.” Lloyd nodded. “I’m not a natural blond, Misako.” He tugged a strand of his hair. Misako stared at him, hazel eyes wide. “Oh yeah, they would bleach my hair, every day, until it fell out.” Lloyd’s brows jumped up, a small grin forming on his face. “ They didn’t give a fuck if it got in my eyes or on my skin.” He clicked his tongue. “Fucking, they more than likely hoped that the bleach killed me.” He snorted. “One less mouth to feed, y’know?”

“Lloyd-” Misako whispered, reaching a hand out. 

“Who knows Mom? Maybe I decided I actually preferred being blond. Maybe, my hair is actually permanently blond, because of the bleach.” Lloyd laughs. “Oh, but the best part mom? That was one of the easier punishments.” 

Everyone stared wide-eyed at the kid. “Oh, I got off easy, because they were scared of dad. They only did it when they realized he didn’t have a way to hurt them.” Lloyd let out a breath. “You knew, I was the Green Ninja, Mom.” Lloyd stared at her in the eyes. “And you still gave me away to the school that punishes good behavior, and I tried, Misako. I tried being evil. It didn’t take.”

“Lloyd…” Misako whispered, tears were brimming in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

Lloyd rolled his eyes. “Don’t.” He sighed. Lloyd gave his mom one last stare. “I don’t care anymore, Mom. Misako.” He shook his head. “I’ve heard karma’s a bitch.” He winked at her, a smirk on his face, as he turned, and walked deeper into the bounty. 

“Lloyd!” Misako called, trying to go after him. Cole stopped her, a hand placed on her shoulder. He turned her around.

“I don’t even know why you thought that would work.” Cole snorted, he gave her a small push towards Wu. Cole and Wu shared a look. After a few seconds of silent communication, Cole nodded. He turned towards his team and ushered them deeper into the bounty. 

Wu waited a few more minutes after the Ninja were out of sight. He turned towards Misako. “Really?” He whispered.

“What?” Misako snapped. She glanced at him, before rolling her eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“You could’ve left him with me.”

She paused. She wrung her hands together. “I- uh… I didn’t…” She sighs.

“I knew he existed, Misako.” Wu hissed. “I could’ve taught him. He didn’t have to go through that fucking trauma.” He glared at her from under his hat. 

“Wu- please.” She tried.

Wu just shook his head. “I can’t believe I ever loved you.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Go.” 

“What- Wu, don’t act so rash.”

Wu scoffed. “You abandoned your son, Misako. You didn’t even leave him in capable hands.” He shook his head. “You always thought he was a monster.”

“I was protecting you-”

“Don’t even try that with me, Misako.”

“Wu, please.”

The older couple stared at each other for a few seconds. Misako was trembling, close to tears. Wu, was blinking away a few tears of his own. “Misako, you should leave.”

“We’re family, Wu.”

“You’re my sister-in-law, Montgomery.”

Misako sneered. “You’ll need me.”

Wu shook his head. “I have other ways of finding your knowledge.”

Misako growled. “You’ll regret this.” She moved towards the door leading to the deck. “You’ll regret this for the rest of your short fucking life, Wu.”

Wu slowly shook his head. “Sounds like the only one regretting things, is you Misako.”

Misako glared at Wu one last time before storming out the door, and off the bounty. Wu watched her leave. He closed the door behind her. Wu gripped his wooden staff tightly, “I’m sorry, brother.” He whispered. 

-

thanks for clicking on this (:

[snugglebeans3000]

I finally decided to post my beyblade OC!!! They’ve been sitting in my sketchbook for so so long, I should’ve posted it sooner but eH

Some HCs about them so you can get to know them better:

Elliot:

Can knit, however they’re only fond of making stuffed animals. They have a lot of projects going on that they never completely finish because they have a bad habit of picking up projects on the fly. However, when they’re done, you can tell that it’s made with love and detail.

Really has an insane love for horror movies. He grew up with them as a kid and whether she needs something to bring comfort into his life he turns on a movie marathon of horror for hours. Doesn’t talk about it a lot so people won’t be freaked out, but there will be obvious signs since they’ve got a lot of merchandise with horror characters on them. They go really hardcore with their tastes. Oh you think Halloween is scary????? Have you heard of a movie called HEREDITARY or MIDSOMMAR? Elliot DIES for disturbing shit— and the more fucked up it is and gorier the BETTER. Analog horror is their favorite genre, though they admit some of its materials are a little bit overused.

Has super curly hair but combs it out to put it back in a braid. Their real hair is something more like Merida from Brave, but they hate being compared to it all the time so they decide to leave it behind. Needless to say, Merida is his least favorite Disney princess because of this fact.

Owns 3 snakes, all ball pythons. Their names are Ripley, Elton and Lucy. They are his BABIES AND IF ANYONE HURTS THEM—

Has an amazing singing voice. Like no joke. If Elliot was brave (or drunk) enough to do karaoke he’d blow eVERyOnE away. I like to imagine their voice being really dynamic, but for the most part, her voice sounds like the singer from Florence and the machine or Belle.

Can draw but hasn’t done so in years. They specialize in drawing dragons and animals, but they never really got the hang of drawing humans (those fucking hANDS—). They don’t mention it because no one ever asks but I feel like Ryuga or some other blader saw her drawing like a beast and was like ‘can you draw me something?’ To which they might say yes, if they like said person.

Very much a nerd in the pop culture sense. She’s intelligent, but she doesn’t like to flaunt it, but when you’re talking about D&D he is THERE and READY to make characters. This has happened on more than one occasion— mainly to Kyoya because he’s the only one who actually really likes the idea and wants to try it out— however that doesn’t keep them from trying to connect to people through references and quotes.

Their favorite animal is a manatee. No further explanation.

He is on the autism/neurodivergent spectrum so they’ve always struggled with making friends. They don’t have many as a result but of the few he does have they’re the world to them. Their loyalty knows no bounds and they would sacrifice themselves to save their friends.

Enjoys being around animals more than people— LOVES sea life but is terrified of swimming in open water where they can’t see. If you take them to an aquarium or zoo they will explode with joy.

This bean can swim like the devil. His backstroke is INSANE. Everybody jokes about how she’s half fish because she spends so much time in the water. Used to compete in swimming leagues when she was younger, but sadly had to drop it due to personal reasons.

Very comfortable in cold weather. It could be so cold in their room that you could see their breath, and they would just be like ‘ah, perfect for sleeping’. However this is good for them because that means that they get to wear sweaters all the time, thus being the resident human heater

Made their beyblade themselves, took about a year plus to get everything to work correctly.

Has considerable Norse and Scandinavian roots, has their one Bunad (this is like a traditional celebration dress or garments) and has rune stones that they know how to read, though they do not do it often as fortune telling with runes are only used in times of dire need. Almost everybody will assume he’s Irish or Scottish because of the red hair, and this is probably one of their worst pet peeves. They hate it when people assume his nationality.

Works for the WBBA as a medical assistant for when the Bladers get injured during battles. They worked as an MA in Norway before they got recommended by one of the main Bladers for helping them out when they were badly injured. Then they immigrated over and they’ve worked there ever since.

I alot of people would get along with Elliot, but I feel like Elliot would really hang with Ryuga, Tsubasa, Or Kyoya the most since they see them so often during their work. They would probably come in for patching up at least twice a week.

Elliot is a mom friend, but more in the way of a grandma. They love you, but most of the time they’re too tired to stop you from making dumb decisions. Will warn you once and then help you afterwards with bandaging your wounds.

Are definitely the type of character that is very kind, but if you fuck with their friends they will turn into a Dark Souls Boss to whoop the ever loving SHIT out of some bitch.

That’s all I can think for now, but this is essentially what his personality is.

[agardenandlibrary]

The Shadow Rising: chapters 15-19

Remember the Doorway to the Danger Zone? Yeah, it's time for Mr. Low-to-No Impulse Control to see what's up! The door takes Mat to a strange place, weird rule of 3 thing going on, fae rules, etc. Mat falls victim to the classic blunder: the desire to ask follow up questions.

The answer he gets boils down to: "Go to Rhuidean." it's his fate. 

ALL ROADS LEAD TO THE AIEL, LET'S GO. 

The place starts crumbling around them and they hustle him out. He gets carried out like this:

while Mat is cursing out the doorway, Rand steps out, followed by Moiraine. Shoulda coordinated better, kids! Turns out the fae-Doorway creatures were speaking the Old Tongue. Mat understood them perfectly. No one admits to what they were told and they all go their separate ways.

Perrin is ready to GTFO. He goes to Loial - only to find Faile got there first. She made Loial swear an oath to take her to the Ways so Perrin can't leave her behind. I feel like this is a "please never get other people involved in your mess" moment. It's really shitty of Faile to put Loial in the middle. It's shitty of Perrin to decide to leave her behind "for her own good." The only good bean is Loial, who did not consent to be involved in your weird foreplay and is, in fact, uncomfortable.

Everyone else is also packing. Lan busts into their room and is like, “Hey, why’d you lead me to believe you were going back to the Tower, when you’re actually going to TARABON, PLACE OF AWFULNESS.” Nynaeve’s like “I never SAID I was going back to the Tower.” Practicing Aes Sedai trickery on Lan, which is kinda shitty. Lan's very worried about them (but mostly Nynaeve) going to Tarabon. He really really wants to go with them, but he’s bound to Moiraine. They make out in front of Elayne and Egwene, who are, in order, interested and embarrassed. 

Meanwhile, Moiraine and Thom do their little dance of the Game of Houses which they are both good at & we get references that Thom probably (definitely) killed Moiraine’s half-brother who was w/ Morgase. Given that her half-brother was a bag of dicks, Moiraine doesn't care, except that it gives her some leverage over Thom - she wants him to go with Nynaeve and Elayne to Tarabon to help them. She'll give him the names of the Red sisters who Stilled his nephew in exchange. He's torn - he's been trying to help Rand stay out of Aes Sedai clutches.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Min's getting antsy in Tar Valon. Gawyn is being a little shit, nearly blowing Min's cover because he's trying to figure out where Elayne + Egwene are. Galad is reading the Book of Mormon Children of Light propaganda. Galad... no... 

He's like: "It's got good stuff" → the stuff: "be as boring as possible and enjoy nothing." Min sees Logain crowned in glory & freaks out.

RIP Sahra - but it is kind of funny that there's a farm upstate for the Aes Sedai to go retire at.

The Perrin + Faile Train leaves the station w/ 3 Aiel on board. Faile's like "he's trying to keep me from my rightful place" and I'm like, girl, what the fuck. You two are definitely into each other but you’ve never actually, uhhh, talked about this. As they're leaving, the Stone rings & there's a big earthquake situation – Rand doing something. They make it into the Ways.

Elayne and Nynaeve are on a boat! The Sea Folk are cool.

OH –  the various prophecies of the Dragon are giving big uh missionaria protectiva from Dune vibes. it's the heat prophecy. Turns out the Sea Folk have a prophecy that means they'll help Elayne and Nynaeve for free. Okay, sure. On one hand: v interesting to see all the different ways cultures have interpreted the Dragon Reborn. It really shows his importance across the world!

Then we get the Randquake again.

[jackoshadows]

Here goes a theory I stumbled upon and couldnt believe existed: so aparently George has said in some interview somewhere that "the magic side of asoiaf is the least important and what matters is the real relations between the people of the story" and.... this led to the person concluding that all magic people/people who perform any supernatural power will come to die until the end of the books and that will mean peace will finally reign in westeros. Also, the person considered the way Jon would stay alive despite having some magic of rhollor in himself.

Im still trying to process this theory. Thoughts?

George has said in some interview somewhere that "the magic side of asoiaf is the least important and what matters is the real relations between the people of the story"

Really? I have never come across fantasy writer George RR Martin saying that the magic is the least important part of his story. Can someone send me this interview.

I have read this one though:

And it is important that the individual books refer to the civil wars, but the series title reminds us constantly that the real issue lies in the North beyond the Wall. Stannis becomes one of the few characters fully to understand that, which is why in spite of everything he is a righteous man, and not just a version of Henry VII, Tiberius or Louis XI. 

And this one:

Tommy’s me … but no more than all the others. Robb is me in “Song for Lya,” as Dirk is me in Dying of the Light … though Arkin Ruark and Jaan Antony in that one are both me as well. Abner Marsh is me, as his proud sidewheeler Fevre Dream is the excursion boat to Far Rockaway, only the passengers drink blood instead of Kool-Aid. Sandy Blair is J-school me, Peter Norten is chess club me, Kenny Dorchester is me trying to lose weight. Holt in “The Stone City,” he’s the kid lying in the grass, staring up at distant stars. Trager is me on a dark night of the soul, bleeding poison from three wounds named Josie, Laurel, Rita. Jon Snow has me in him, and Sam Tarly. The women too, Lyanna and Shaara, and the girls, Arya and Adara … Daenerys Stormborn, searching for that house with the red door. And Tyrion Lannister? Oh, yes. The Imp is me in spades, the horny little bastard.” 

And this one:

The best fantasy is written in the language of dreams. It is alive as dreams are alive, more real than real … for a moment at least … that long magic moment before we wake.

Fantasy is silver and scarlet, indigo and azure, obsidian veined with gold and lapis lazuli. Reality is plywood and plastic, done up in mud brown and olive drab. Fantasy tastes of habaneros and honey, cinnamon and cloves, rare red meat and wines as sweet as summer. Reality is beans and tofu, and ashes at the end. Reality is the strip malls of Burbank, the smokestacks of Cleveland, a parking garage in Newark. Fantasy is the towers of Minas Tirith, the ancient stones of Gormenghast, the halls of Camelot. Fantasy flies on the wings of Icarus, reality on Southwest Airlines. Why do our dreams become so much smaller when they finally come true?

We read fantasy to find the colors again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang. There is something old and true in fantasy that speaks to something deep within us, to the child who dreamt that one day he would hunt the forests of the night, and feast beneath the hollow hills, and find a love to last forever somewhere south of Oz and north of Shangri-La.

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I’d sooner go to middle Earth.

[proudaussieboomer1957]

so just through the end of act 3 and some way into the intermission thing

I still don't understand what the fuck is going on with the future thing with the desert-y type mail lady and the assault rifle dude and the Mayor of Beans and how that interfaces with the kids in the "present". And it's been weird because my brain places it as a reference to Journey, which didn't release on ps3 till like 2 or 3 years later than this? It happens, there's that shael riley and the double ice backfire song that nominally predicts the underlying idea of like, Ingress and then pokemon go by a few years.

idk. It's deliberately obtuse and it feels kind of good to understand the little things that do filter through to me, a lot of it is just seeing NONSENSE WORDS that are CAPITALISED and glossing right over them. Every joke is still every joke from Kingdom of Loathing. The feel is tangibly, palpably le epic bacon era, with all the ~isms very much intact.

What I enjoyed from this chunk of reading was the inkling of John having a character arc, and taking a couple of steps towards resolving it.

As it is, the 4 main (?) protagonists have largely been used as vehicles for references and jokes (oh hey this girl who lives on the JURASSIC PARK island with her HUNTER FROM JUMANJI [1995] Grandpa (a ghost? I already can't remember) is a FURRY, has (mental health conditions outlined in the then-contemporary DSM-4) etc etc so it was nice to see some movement at the station regarding his feelings around his relationship with his dad.

Also I don't know how I feel about this intermission thing. I already have to try and remember so much half-explained stuff to keep up to date with the main story and now you're dropping all this shit on me about following past trails and future trails? We can't jump to hearts McGee or we try to jump to spades in the shades but can't and we have to actually go back to seal clubber lang? Who the fuck is who? What the fuck is going on? Are they trying to kill the Lord English guy or destroy all the clocks or steal something in a vault?

If there's not a "catch-up" thing for the main story at the end of this I'm going to have to read back through the last couple of acts again just to fucking remind myself about what the fuck was going on. I also might go back to act 1 at some point and go back over it now that I grasp what a "captchalogue" is and why it's called that and who the other kids are etc etc.

I only have so many braincells left at my advanced age and I don't know how beneficial it is to have so many of them filled with the phrase "I FUCKEN WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS, BRO"

Still confused about where the grey body paint cosplay comes into all of this.

[gongedtornado]

intro post time babyyy:

will update this overtime

last updated: April 10, 2024

kazzys-conundrum -> gongedtornado

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this also goes with being treated as a child. while i’m aware i may act childish from time to time, do not fucking babify me. do not woobify me. do not treat me like i am a little kid. i will fucking bite you. i am an adult, treat me as such.*

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[justjams2003]

Little onesies

A/N: Hello:) I don't have much to say tbh. I am writing a very long Thor fic in the background. I'm not sure if anyone will read it tho👀 It doesn't seem like Tumblr's audience and I'm not sure if I should even post it. Also Thor love and thunder was amazing i loved it. This has nothing to do with Mando but anyways I am 100% sure I spelled a lot of things wrong. But I don't feel like spell checking. So plead say if you see something

Pairing: Din Djarin x nb!reader

Warnings: Age regression, daddy!Din, little!reader, fluff, diapers, clothing change, sfw(I think)

Summary: While on your way to Tatoine Din gets you ready

The planet of Tatoinne comes into view of the plane’s screen. Mando looks as if he is putting all his focus into the piloting. But he’s not. His mind is of course on his riduur and his newly adopted son in their lap. Seeing how excited the both on them are.

Grogu is entirely captured in the little ball that is the handle of one of the levers of the Razor Crest. Y/N is enthraled by the little green thing. So happy to finally have a friend on board the lonely spaceship. Someone to play with them when their Daddy is busy.

“Y/N, Child, we are going to be landing on Tatoinne in an hour. I think it’s time we get you ready, huh?” He turns his seat to be facing the both of them. If he didn’t have is helmet on, Y/N would see the kind, content smile on his face. He’s always been so humbled by your innocence.

Now he has this little green child to take care of too. Luckily he’s had practice with little Y/N. He holds out his hands to take the kid. Din gently picks him up and cradles the babe in his hand. As he stands he takes Y/N hand in his and three enter the lower deck.

The Mandolorian places Grogu in his little hammock. “Stay.” He holds his hands out, showing his what he means. The small green bean only coos up at him. His big green eyes reflecting the silver baskar. Mando is surprised by how easily he seem so cooperate.

Yet he realizes why when those eyes go glassy and a yawn escapes him. “Oh did Y/N make you tired?” He asks, turning to look at his spouse. Their pale cheeks flush red and those big shiny purple eyes are playful and slightly guilty. He can’t help himself but pinch those round cheeks of his beloved.

This only causes you to blush more. Pulling their hands up to cover their face in a shy gesture. By the time Mando turns back to his son, the green one is already sleeping away. “Alright, I suppose that’s for the best. Why don’t we get you dressed?”

The small horned creature holds up their arms, grasping their hands up to their caregiver. A smile glows behind the baskar helmet. With ease he picks you up under the arms and places you on his hip. “Why don’t we get you dressed?” He asks, the modulator hiding his joy.

The little nods, your thumb traveling up to your lips. Naturally you begin suckling. “Stop that.” As soon as your thumb enters your mouth he calls out. He gently takes your hand by the wrist and pulls it out. From his pocket he pulls out your favourite bumble bee paci.

With instinct the paci begins bobbing in your mouth. He walks over to your crate of clothes. Taking out a few onesies and laying them out. All one-handed. “Okay baby, choose one.” You were already wearing your favourite bee onesie. The little shake their head.

“No, daddy, I wear dis.” Their voice is soft and slurred by the paci, padding their hand on their chest, referring to what they are wearing. The mandolorian sighs and shakes his head. “No, these are dirty baby. Look, there are Meiloorun stains on it.” Mando’s leathered hand points out.

You huff, kicking your legs against the his. He hold you closer by your bum, making you calm. Though Din can feel a warmth. “I see, come, chose one so I can get you changed.” You huff, the scratch of the diaper does make you uncomfortable. Getting a fresh one would feel amazing.

The horned creature huffs then looks over the array of clothes. Of course, they chose the green frog onesie. “That’s good, little one, thank you.” He picks up the one you chose and placed you down on the bench. He takes a moment to look down at the little.

It's such a sweet feeling. Having this person trust him with their whole being. So much so that they are as vulnerable as humanly possible with him. It warms his heart and makes him swell with pride. Glad that they chose him. Even if he doesn't feel worth that trust, he will do everything he can to keep it.

"Little one, can you tell me how big you are?" He asks, trying to decide on the right supplies. You think for a moment, squirming a bit under his gaze. "Two." The litte holds out their hands, showing up two fingers. Mando laughs, barely heard over his modulator.

It does worry him a bit. Usually he would leave you in the Razor Crest while he went on his bounties. He'd either put you down for a nap, or leave some toys and colouring supplies. But now there is another being in his care. And he's worried something might happen if he's not there to watch.

"Do you want to go with me?" He asks, already regretting it. The thought of his babies being close to the people he hunts makes his skin crawl. All while he thinks this, he takes out a fresh diaper, wipes and some baby powder. The little thinks for a moment. "Otay." They shrug, not really thinking much of it. Besides being close to their daddy.

Mando unclips the onesie and pulls down the dirty diaper. He uses the wipe to clean you up. "Are you sure? You'd have to be a big girl then." He states, he's not sure if he'd be able to focus with them as a little. So cute, so caring, he'd want to shoot anyone who even dares look at them.

The little is silent for quite some time. Then they took a deep breathe and Din can see their eyes sharpen. That haze faltering. Their pale hand flies up, pulling the paci from their mouth. "Can I keep the diaper?" The slur in their words are very light. Their eyes avoiding the beskar gaze.

Din smiles and nods, leaning down and pressing his helmet covered forehead to his little's. "Of course, my riduur." Their cheeks flare up at the words, even if they've been together for more than 3 years now. Mando covers your bum in baby powder and places a diaper-pull-up on them. "Would you like to wear the onesie underneath your big clothes?" He asks, showing them the onesie again.

The horned creature thinks again then nods. "Would you like me to dress you or do you want to do it yourself?" He asks, helping them sit up. Again, they think, glancing between Mando and the clothes. "Please? Last little thing." They asks, showing Din their best doe eyes. The man melts and doesn't think to refuse.

He guides your arms up and pulls the onesie over your head. Then after pulling the new one on, he had you stand up to snap the clips closed on the bottom. Then he goes to the closet, taking a few things then coming back to you. He holds the pants by their legs, letting you lean on his shoulder in order to put your legs in.

It's long, to protect from the sun. Then a short sleeved shirt over your head. Then, of course, beskar chain-mail. Lastly, a light material poncho to cover your arms. And a hood, to hide your little black horns. His every touch his gentle and caring, his warm leather clad hands helping wherever he can.

"Alright, how do you feel?" He asks, making sure you're ready to go outside. You smile at him, your light fangs lightly showing. "Ready," you hold up your thumbs to affirm it. "Maker," He whispers under his breathe. "Is the child still asleep?" He asks, not wanting to look away from the sight for a moment.

The paled skin one glances over to see Grogu fast asleep. "Yes Sir," They smile back up at him again. Then they hear the hiss of Din's helmet. He pulls it off just above the nose. He leans down and places a kiss on your forehead. Then he pulls it back down again. "I love you, my dear." Din tells you. And within a heartbeat you reply, "I love you, Din."

[raineydays411]

Mission In Progress

Steve Rogers x daughter!reader

Summary: Steve realizes that his past behavior may have cost him the love of his daughter.

A/n: Hello! This is the second part to my Steve Rogers series! I hope you like it and also I hope y’all get the little references I put in these lol💕

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean Natasha taught you?”

Oh shit.

That was the collective thought between you, Nat, Clint, and Tony. It was well known among the team that Steve didn’t want his daughter learning ANY form of self defense, but those four thought that was ridiculous. She was Captain America's daughter, she definitely would need to fight off an enemy sooner or later.

“well...nat taught me the basics on how to defend myself, she said it would come in handy someday.” You say quietly, picking the thread on your sleeve rather than looking at your father.

“Romanoff, you taught her how to fight?” Steve said, fury bleeding into his eyes. “I made it perfectly clear--”

“Steve, its unreasonable for her not to know how to fight, she's the daughter of one of the worlds greatest defenders. If she doesn’t fight, she’s dead.”, Natasha said bluntly, staring Steve in the face as the other Avengers grew uncomfortable.

“She’s perfectly fine, it’s not like she leaves the Tower anyway.”

“Because if she did, you’d have someone follow her. It’s creepy, man”  Tony butts in with a roll of his eyes. By now both Bruce and Thor had silently left the room, as both of them would be useless in this conversation.

“Oh, so Tony Stark is gonna teach me how to raise a kid? Isn’t that ironic.”

“It’s not like you’re doing any better on your own. All Y/n does is stay in her room and write in that book of hers, she doesn’t even talk to people her own age.”

“It’s safer that way and you all know it” Steve snaps, refusing to even look your way. “ I set those rules for a reason, and I don’t appreciate my team mate or friends going behind my back and breaking them.”

“Look, Steve we love you, but the way you’re going about this whole parenting situation is completely wrong.” Clint finally says. “ I get that you were thrusted into this role, we all do. But man, you can protect Y/n from everything and it’s not healthy for her to be locked away in the tower like--”

“Like some modern day Rapunzel” 

“Thank you, Tony.”

“You all know the reason why she’s not allowed to leave. Its just safer that way.” Steve says, expecting the conversation to be over. “ Now, we’ll talk about this when we get back to --”

“You don’t lock me away for my protection” You say looking up with a determined face. Steve, obviously stunned you called him out like that turned to you and said

“ Excuse me?” 

“ It was never about me. If you wanted me to be safe, you would have taught me how to defend myself as soon as you could. You would have told the world about me, just to make sure everyone knows not to mess with me.” You say, your brow furrowed. �� You say its for safety, but who’s safety is it really for?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve says in a low, slow tone. 

“Everytime I come in a room, you tense up like I’m going to attack you.” You start to say, realizing that once you reveal what you noticed, things will never be the same. “ You monitor everything I do. You never allow me to be alone. You don’t talk to be about missions and don’t allow anyone else to.” You stand up off the couch. “ You refuse to acknowledge my mother, and won’t even let read the journal she left me.”

“That’s enough Y/n”

“No!” You shout. “ It’s not fair I don’t understand why you treat me like this.” Steve looks at you in surprise. 

“ Y/n, you don’t understand.”

“ I do. You don’t trust me.” You finally say. “ You haven’t from day one, and I don’t know why. It's not like a six year old is a Hydra agent by disguise.” 

Hearing this Steve freezes. He knows that all this surveillance was unnecessary. And deep down he knew that you could never hurt not even a fly. but that tiny voice in his head got the best of him. And even though he grew to love you more than he’d like to admit, the thought of you being am enemy scared him. 

“ You are a threat.” Steve says stubbornly. “ You came out of nowhere, with nothing but a note in the middle of the night. Your mother is nowhere to be found, and I have no idea who to even look for. You look nothing like me and defiantly don’t act like me.” 

Hearing these words is like a knife being repeatedly stabbed in your heart. It’s one thing to think that your dad doesn’t love you, it's another to hear them directly from his mouth. 

“ I have done nothing for you to treat me like this. I have done nothing to lose your trust. I didn’t ask for my mother to leave me here with you. It’s not my fault.” You say, tears starting to well up in your eyes. “ That robot asked me to go with him you know?”

The whole room freezes. You never mentioned that when Clint picked you up from the Tower.

“ He asked me to go with him, because he said I had no one. I had nothing to loose. And now” You let tears run down your face. “ Now that I know he’s right, I still wouldn’t go with him. Because I would NEVER want someone to get hurt because of me.” And with that you pushed past the group of superheros and ran outside. You didn’t know where you were going, but you had to get out of that house.

You walk into town and into a bookshop that was surprisingly open at this hour. The clerk looked at you in annoyance as you wandered the isles quietly. Picking up a copy of Romeo and Juliet, you walk toward the counter to pay.

“Tch, Romeo and Juliet?” The cashier says

“What about it?” you ask, puzzled that he cared enough to mention it. 

“Nothing if you’re thirteen and never had a boyfriend.”

“Oh really?” You say, eyes lighting up at the chance to talk to someone your own age without the gaze of an agent boring into your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, there was a tense silence in the house. Steve left with the words you told him rattling in his brain. 

“You know, Y/n always used to come to me for help picking out the perfect father's day gift for you.” Clint said breaking the silence in the room. “ She insisted we wake up hours before you to go to the shops just to surprise you. She loved wrapping the gift and the thought of making you happy.” He smiled bitterly. “ I loved every second of it, watching her reminded me of my own family. It broke my heart to see her little face deflate when you barely acknowledged the gift and treated it like it was a bomb or something.” He shakes his head and walks out. Natasha follows him and says ‘ Its late, it's not safe for her to be out there alone, I’m going to look for her.”. Then she’s gone. Leaving only Tony and Steve in the living room. It’s quiet for a few minutes. They can hear Clint playing with his children, Lila laughing as Cooper and Clint chase her. 

“ You know, all my life I had to wonder if my dad loved me too.” Tony said suddenly. “ I guess that’s why I got along with Y/n so well.”

Steve sat on the couch and sighed. “ I guess I could’ve approached this differently.”

“That's your problem Rogers, you treat her like a mission. She’s a kid. Even I know that you can’t raise a kid that way.”

Steve exhaled through his nose. “So, what do you think I should do?”  

Tony rolled his eyes again.” Well for one, you can go look for your fourteen year old daughter who ran out in the middle of the night in an area she doesn’t know.”

Steve's eyes widened and he shot up, “ Shit, I- I have to go find her.” and with that he ran out of the living room, leaving Tony alone as he heard him shout 

“Language!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Steve to get into town. The only problem he really faced was figuring out where you might be. Almost everything was closed except for a liquor store and some bars. He started to panic, as he started to think about the possibility of you being hurt or kidnapped or--

“Hey bomb pop, over here” someone whispers

Steve looks around to see Natasha standing in front of a bookshop. He jogs up to her and asks

“Nat what are you--” “SHHH, look” she points into the window.

At first Steve didn’t know what he was looking at. All he saw was two kids flirting on some bean bags. But then he looked closer and realized that was his kid flirting on some bean bags. He got ready to burst in there and drag her out, which surprised him.

“What are you doing” Natasha harshly whispered, “This is the first time in years y/n has talked to someone her age, and I will NOT let you ruin it.”

“But does it have to be a boy” Steve whines, then he shrinks back as Nat glares at him. 

“You have no right to play protective daddy right now, you--”

“Dad? Nat? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been about an hour since you started talking to Levi, the cashier. Even though he insulted your book choice

“It’s a play about two bratty kids who think they’re in love and then kill themselves, its pathetic”

He’s interesting. He has this harsh exterior that is refreshing to you. You liked that he didn’t handle you with kids gloves like the rest of the Avengers did. He let you stay behind after closing as long as you helped him clean, but you didn’t last long because apparently you “cleaned like a blind person with no hands” whatever that means. After cleaning you two sat and talked about music and his friends. It was nice. That was until you felt eyes on you.

Looking out the window you noticed two figures staring at you. One petite red head and a tall blonde to be more specific. Rolling your eyes, you say goodbye to Levi and thank him for one of the best nights you’ve had in a while. As you left he did something that surprised you.

“Hey brat, here’s my number.” He says as he gives you an old receipt, “ Don’t expect me to text you all night, I have a life too.” 

You just smile and say thank you, blushing as you realize this was your first friend in years. You put the number in your pocket and walk outside. 

“Dad? Nat?” You ask, cutting their little squabbling short. “What are you two doing here?” 

Nat and Steve stand up straight. 

“It was getting late and I was worried so I came to find you” Natasha said, “ But it seems to me that you were quite alright in there” She finishes with a smirk. You blush as you try to think of a retort. Before you say anything, you hear your dad clear his throat. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t getting intel on how to kill you or whatever you think what will happen if i make friends.” You again push past the two avengers, your good mood spoiled as you walk away. You hear some harsh whispering then your name is called. 

“Y/n” your father calls, “I think we need to talk.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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