#was looking through families facebook for pictures of me

[isweariambeingsonormal]

there are more pictures of my mom's stepkids on her Facebook than there are of me and her two other kids. yk. the ones that have been around a decade longer

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I might have to start living my life differently. Bc this sucks.

[tvgals]

gojo’s daughter doesn’t know her mom. she’s never been around, nor does she want to be around. there’s been a few feeble attempts of her trying to get in contact with emi, but they all came up short, always ending in tears while gojo tries to console her in the walmart parking lot where her mother was supposedly going to pick her up.

this is a strange predicament, comforting emi in her bed while gojo was outside cursing out her mother on the phone. somehow, emi’s mother found gojo’s facebook account where he often posted pictures of the three of you, whether it’s at the pumpkin patch or just a simple run to target, he documented everything. she was angry, jealous even, that you were more suitable to be a mother to her child than she was, that she loved you more, because that all she’s ever known. so when she came across these photos, she was livid, posting nasty comments that were all alike in hatred.

he was furious , how dare she speak like this? as if he went behind her back, as if she’s ever been there for emi the way you have. “are you fucking kidding me? you’ve never been there for her, y/n has, she’s basically y/n’s child! you selfish little..” he hesitated. how could he speak like this to someone he once loved? well, he loved her enough to make a baby with her, but she didn’t love either of them enough to stay. “little what? go on, say it.” she coaxes him over the phone, a smirk being heard through her voice. “little bitch! you don’t care about her, you act like you do to impress your sorry ass family, fuck you, and leave us alone. you’re a pathetic excuse for a mother, if you can even claim that title.” and gojo hangs up the phone, walking back inside, huffing with anger. the entire time you covered emi’s ears to overpower the profanity spewing from her father’s mouth.

“daddy? are you okay?” she asks. she’s only six, which makes everything worse. she’s been let down almost 12 times in her short life, her feelings haven’t developed all the way for her to even understand the full disappointment of having an absent mother, but you’ve been there for emi, you’ve tucked her into bed, you’ve taken her out for her birthday, you’re her mother.

gojo lays in the bed with you too, fiddling with the hairstyle you’d put in for bed. “daddy’s fine, okay?” he smiles, kissing her temple. he looks up at you, seeing the tinge of sadness in your eyes. you hurriedly look away and look down at emi, smiling. “you ready for bed?” you ask, picking her up. “yeah! wanna read a longggg story!” she giggles, kicking her feet. you put her on your hip as you walk down the hallway. “oh yeah? who’s gonna read this longggg story to you?” you tease, sitting her on her bed. “you, mommy!” you stop in your tracks, your heart beat racing, mommy?! you’ve never even hinted at emi to start calling you that! you smile and grab a book, sitting next to her.

“yes mommy will.” you smile.

i didn’t mean for this to be long oops; also sorry for spelling mistakes lololol

[treasureyourfire]

~ Where is my Soulmate? ~

Welcome Souls~

I am sending my new pick a pile reading for you.~

We often have to travel a long way to find our eternal, romantic soulmate/divine partner. The road leads through struggles, wounds, lessons and healing. We think about where they are, what they do, what their life is like, when we finally find eachother...

I think, "when" is malleable. The decisions we make, how we shape our lives and ourselves can influence it, and perhaps that's more important where we go with our own growth until we meet them. That's why I didn't get into that in the readings.

Choose the image(s) that attracts you the most. Accept from the messages what you can identify with, and let go of the rest~

Illustrations belongs to Jumo.Art (Facebook, Instagram, Etsy)

Reminder:

* These are not gender-specific readings, I use They/Them pronouns. * These are collective, timeless readings for entertaintment. * I am not a professional reader and readings that I do are a part of my learning process. * The tarot can provide guidance, but you manage your own life according to your free will. Feel free to keep what resonates, and let go of what doesn’t.~ * (English is not my mother language, sorry for the mistakes.)

To what extent are You ready to receive your soulmate? Four of Pentacles, Page of Wands, Sun, Four of Cups, Hierophant

Dear Soul! In this period of your life, you are/have been striving for security, balance, and stability. You plan for the long term, for durability. You focus on building your foundations: it can be your home, your financial situation or your physical body, your health. You are an honest, straightforward person, but cautious. In the past period, you may have closed yourself off a bit to protect everything that is important to you and that you fought for. Maybe you just settled somewhere. You cling to a secure foundation both on the earthly and spiritual planes. At first, under the surface, which may seem stoic and serious, lives a dreamy, enthusiastic, artistic soul with a rich world of emotions. You are ready to use your creativity to develop and enrich yourself with new experiences. Recently, you are starting to open up to the world and come out of your shell. You want to shine like the Sun, enjoy life obliviously, fulfill yourself in it, get the most out of yourself. I feel that your circumstances give you the opportunity to do so. Despite this, you still have moments of skepticism when you feel uncertain. Sometimes you still think about things that didn't go according to your plans. Your experiences and relationships so far have not satisfied your desires and needs, and you cannot really believe that something better than what you experienced in the past can awaits you. However, something that is pure, a sincere gift may appear to you, you just have to break down the barriers built around you and learn to trust again, to believe that the universe -or what you believe in- supports you and encourages you to look at the bigger picture. You are dedicated, you strive to create lasting values in your relationships as well. You would like to share your long-term goals and desires with the right partner to whom you would commit yourself for life. You are looking for a spiritual unity/bond that is solid, where you receive emotional security, mutual trust, intimacy, in which you support and inspire each other, and you can develop together, solving difficulties together.

To what extent are They ready to receive you? Ten of Cups, Eight of Pentacles

Fully! I smile and it fills me with joy when I look at your soulmate’s cards. They are full of love and enthusiasm, they long for a family, a happy home full of laughter and abundance, with you. They think of you as a team, in which they would support you in everything as an equal partner. Maybe lately they have been a little more immersed in their work or other personal projects, but if you find each other, they'll be just as dedicated to your relationship. Maybe they will feel that they have to work for your trust, but they don't mind. They have persistent, hardworking personality. Thoughtful, patient, humble, attentive to details, not intrusive. They will pay attention to you, your signals and what you need. Maybe they will shower you with gifts (if this is what you want), if they see that you like this way of expressing their emotions to you. Maybe they also have an artistic vein, like to create with their hands, and will surprise you with they self-made works. I sense that your soulmate is eager to welcome you into their life, but at the same time they are trying to wait patiently until you are ready to come to them of your own free will.

What symbols and signs will indicate to you that your soulmate is nearby? Knight of Cups

Helmet - It may sounds funny, but I mean a kind of Gallic helmet what the characters wearing in the Asterix stories. Wings (can even be a car emblem) Horse - winged pegasus or earth horse, may be in color white Silver and Blue colors could also dominate. Fish (including goldfish, koi), scales, scaly pattern, wave pattern, Japanese-style waves, which can often be seen in tattoos

When I saw the card, I felt as if my lungs were filled with fresh air. A clean, soothing feeling. I was relieved. Or as if a sip of cool, fresh, clean water had washed my throat. Maybe you will experience similar feelings when you meet them.

Where and under what circumstances will you meet? King of Swords, Tower, Three of Pentacles, Page of Swords

A situation where you need knowledge, wisdom, good judgment, clarity, rationality, good communication skills, clear communication, maybe leadership or organizational skills (you two don't necessarily have to be in a leadership role, but a person of this role can be present). Perhaps in circumstance where there is a sudden change, an unexpected task arises. It maybe include a light tower, but this is a bit special, of course this cannot apply to everyone, the image just flashed in front of me. Planning, re-planning/building (because of the Tower card), learning, discussion, consultation, teamwork, team building. Maybe, possible misunderstandings and doubts should be clarified, the fog should be dispelled with an objective view. Honest, open communication will be required.

Advice: What to focus your energy on in other areas of your life until you meet: Moon, Ace of Cups

Let yourself sink into the depths. The Moon gently asks you to examine your fears in the darkness surrounding you. It invites you to turn inward, do introspection and self-research. All feelings, traumas, ideas, picked-up or learned patterns that intimidate, unsettle and hold you back are hidden in this subconscious depth. Examine what is preventing you from welcoming love (back) into your life, be it romantic or of any kind. By uncovering these barriers in yourself, renewal and healing can begin, and you can open up again to the love that awaits you from both yourself, from the outside world, from your future soulmate. In the quiet retreat, you can prepare yourself for development, for moving on, rebuild your faith in a better future and fill your own cup before coming to the surface again.

To what extent are You ready to receive your soulmate? Reversed Six of Swords, Seven of Cups, Two of Swords, Temperance, The Fool

Dear Soul! You had to get yourself out of a difficult situation. You had a strong resistance to moving on. You may have been haunted by excessive caution, overburden, mistrust (even paranoia) in the past period. You lived in fear, and this internal struggle hindered your progress and development. There was confusion in you and around you. You were unsure of your possibilities, you couldn't determine what your true calling was, what would take you forward, what you could trust, and what was false or (self-)delusional. Maybe it only applies to a small percentage of you who chose the second picture, but maybe someone clouded your clarity with illusions and took away your confidence, maybe gaslighted you. You were confused and waiting for someone or something to rescue you from your hopelessness. You had to make a difficult decision. You needed to exclude all kinds of illusions and external influences, to silence the chaos and your fears in your thoughts in order to find your inner voice. You wanted to finally see clearly and continue your life more consciously. Over time, you overcame your difficulties, the hoped-for enlightenment arrived, you managed to make the decision and move on. The Sun is rising on the horizon for you, an ascension is coming in your life. You are relieved, you are on the road to recovery. Your outer and inner worlds are beginning to harmonize. After a thorough self-examination, you now see yourself more objectively and manage your emotions more consciously. In your bundle you carry your experiences and lessons with you, but you have left the past behind you, you do not let it continue to chain you down. The most important thing is that you are finally free. I wish that the new beginning fills your heart with hope and confidence, and that the knowledge of that you were able to overcome the difficulties gives you the strength to embark on the next, much happier phase of your life that awaits you.

To what extent are They ready to receive you? Four of Swords, Queen of Wands

It seems that your divine partner is resting after a difficult period too, consider things while they are healing (or just recently the healing phase is coming to an end for them). For them, the primary goal during this period is to regenerate and recharge their batteries. They must regain their strength and their love of life. First, they must warm up their own soul, so later, when your paths cross they can invigorate you with their pleasurable personality, and after that, as your relationship deepens, they can embrace you with their caring, devoted warmth. They need to gather courage and fix their self-confidence so that they can see the future more optimistically. It is necessary for them to turn inward now, they must process and understand their own emotions and what happened to them, so that later they can trust their intuition again, which will lead them to you.

What symbols and signs will indicate to you that your soulmate is nearby? King of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles

Sword, dagger Butterfly Crown Frog Flying bird(s) Pentagram, star a Ring (jewelry) what you maybe find in an unusual place or one that has one of the listed symbols on it Crescent moon Reaping hook Bunch of grapes Flowers for decoration/ornament/sticker, bouquet the color Blue can play a role

Where and under what circumstances will you meet? Ace of Cups

It seems like a place close to nature, near water, maybe next to a lake, where water lilies float on the water, or in a park, maybe by a fountain (perhaps with coins in it), in company of birds, where you can feed them. A sound of a small bell. I don't know where the jingle came from, but it has a nice, cheerful sound. Maybe you'll hear a similar sound when you meet eachother. You will meet at a time when you are both ready to accept new emotions, a new relationship, when you have reached the appropriate phase of self-care, practicing self-love, when you can give because you have taken care of filling your own cups.

Advice: What to focus your energy on in other areas of your life until you meet: Nine of Cups, Ace of Swords, Reversed Six of Cups, Strength

Take care of yourself, celebrate! Enjoy what you have achieved, reward yourself! Take advantage of the clearing of your thoughts. Let the new ideas and inspirations take you away. You can start to opening up to new communications, new acquaintances and opportunities. Sometimes you may even be filled with nostalgic feelings, which make you play with the idea: "Everything was good in the beginning." "Everything could be like that again." Please don't turn back! Avoid people with energy/vibe that reminds you of the old ones. Stay aware, leave the past in the past, don't nurture old things, ideas, relationships that you have already outgrown for your own benefit, that no longer serve you, they only drain your energy from your present and your future. Try to transform your experience into your strength. Nurture the inner strength to move forward, turn to yourself and your shadows with patience and understanding. Maybe you need to heal your inner child/teen, give yourself the care and love you need and desire. You have endless opportunities to grow and develop, you have the resources you need for further healing, and to tame and silence those shadow creatures that would encourage you to repeat old patterns. Hang in there for yourself, for your recovery.

To what extent are you ready to receive your soulmate? Queen of Wands, Reversed Hierophant, Ten of Cups, Reversed Eight of Wands, Reversed Moon

Dear Soul!

You are full of fire and passion. Confident, creative, intense, emotional, warm-hearted, devoted. You are aware of your values ​​and you are looking for the king/queen in whom you can find an equal partner, who is strong enough to walk beside you, with whom you can create your own empire, like proud lions.

You long to experience all forms and heights of happiness, as well as the feeling of completeness and fulfillment, with a true, supportive partner.

You want this in such a form that you can keep your personal freedom and independence. You don't necessarily desire the bond of marriage in order to meet expected traditions and/or social expectations on paper. Perhaps you have already had a bad experience in the past, disappointment, breakup, divorce, a relationship that did not satisfy you spiritually and emotionally, where your soul could not soar.

Yet you would give your whole heart if you could find your soulmate, the ally with whom you could finally establish a home and live your life in abundance and overflowing love.

Yet there is something that holds you back, paralyzes you. There is an inner tension in you because you want to move forward, but you can't. Things around you are not going the way you want them to. Something always gets in the way, breaks your momentum, your sense of purpose. Whether there are obstacles in the physical world or internal obstacles that do not allow you to continue on the path to your soulmate, they also prevent you from fully opening up and becoming receptive to this attachment.

The voices of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty suppress your own inner voice, which would show you the way to your truer life. To unlock and release this inner barrier, you must turn inward, dive into the darkness, find the source of your fears, and examine it to see clearly. Just observe them in silence, if you let go of the struggle against them, accept their presence, the light of enlightenment may even reach you sooner. Maybe you need a quiet, meditative retreat to find your inner compass, the light of the Moon that illuminates the path you can follow.

To what extent are They ready to receive you? Eight of Cups, Reversed King of Wands, Reversed Three of Wands, Reversed Nine of Pentacles

Meanwhile, your soulmate also tries to move on with difficult feelings and to leave their past, everything that no longer serves them. A period ended for them, and they set out on a new path towards the unknown. There are several challenges ahead of them that they must overcome to reach the top of the mountain, but despite their doubts, a small inner flame drives them on.

For me, the Reversed King of Wands usually does not reveal excessive aggression, but rather a lack of self-confidence, battered confidence. I sense a restless energy from them, like from you.

They obsessively wants to accomplish, or stubbornly sticks to an idea, maybe that’s why they don't listen to their intuition. Maybe that's why it's hard for them to adapt to their changed circumstances.

A new world opened up to them, but they not very optimistic about it. They doubt and hesitate, even though they have all the potential to take control of their life, they just need to rediscover that ability and determination within themself. They really need commitment now to start over. They need to examine their options with foresight, carefully plan their journey and prepare for it before making further decisions. They should not make decisions out of haste or thoughtlessness, and they maybe unwilling, but have to accept the intentions of others to help.

They strives for financial independence and longs for abundance so that they can give the best to their loved ones. They want a stable life where they don't depend on anyone and can enjoy the fruits of their hard work.

What symbols and signs will indicate to you that your soulmate is nearby? Page of Pentacles, Reversed Four of Cups

Pentagram, star

A specific Coin or Jewelry (maybe with one of the listed symbols on it)

Object of longing/admiration - what you get for yourself, or you find something you've been looking for, something you wanted to deal with, something you wanted to know more about, something you admire

Palm tree – (Eggsecutor jumped in my mind, maybe you or them are in the Pokemon fandom but not necessarily)

Unexpected gift/opportunity - You will find a new opportunity/offer that will shake you out of your dullness

Where and under what circumstances will you meet? Reversed Eight of Pentacles

I feel like there is a forced break in this situation. Restrictive circumstances or financial difficulties may play a role in work or study.

Like:

Job interview, job searching, go to employment office, work break, any kind of break in education, forced leave, slow administration/work, long line, long waiting, enrolling in a course, suspended/cancelled/missed/postponed event/course/workshop, unfinished business.

Advice: What to focus your energy on in other areas of your life until you meet: Knight of Wands, Reversed Five of Wands, Reversed Queen of Pentacles

You probably would not like to hear this, but; Patience, dear Soul. You really want this person who can make a difference in your life. You are bubbling with action, you are thirsty for new, exciting experiences, but in order to move away from the dead end, you need to channel your energies into a healthy channel. "Great excitement can also result in a stressful situation that prevents a well-considered decision and correct action." If you get carried away by the intensity, you can get involved in conflicts that don't move you forward, they just eat up your vitality. You need patience, persistence and sanity. It's worth avoiding or not taking stressful situations too seriously, rather use the power of your inner fire to overcome your own internal battles to get closer to what you really want to create. During this period, it is important to sort out restless energies to avoid burnout. Ground yourself, let the flames subside, rest for a while, seek stability. It’s important to take care of your health. Take care of yourself, you need the right physical and mental nourishment to find your center. Think about what foods and nutrients you take in, pay attention to your body's signals. Try meditative activities/techniques that you like, seek contact with nature, be it a walk in the park or time spent with animals, do creative activities, anything what you feel that helps you to relax.

The reading is permeated by the energy of the number 888. A phase of both of your lives is coming to an end so that something much better can begin for you. Abundance and harmony is headed your way, just keep going. You have to prepare and go through some trials, but if you are committed and open to transformation, you will definitely get closer and closer to your desired goals and to each other.

[mydemimonde]

'Honey, Are You Coming?' (Baby Said, Part 2) — Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

divider is from @plutism

a/n: hello! i'm soooo so sorry for taking too long in doing the second part of baby said, college and work are driving me insane and i barely have time to write. i really hope you like this

Summary: After that mindblowing night after the bar, you find yourself waiting for Aemond's call, growing slightly disappointed.

Words: 4691

Warnings: +18 (minors dni), female reader, no use y/n nor specific physical description, swearing, dirty talk, hand kink, praising, tiddy sucking, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, slightly dominant aemond, riding, no proof reading! english is not my first language, i apologise in advance if there are any mistakes.

It’s been five days and you haven’t heard anything from Aemond. Not a call, not even a text message. Nothing. You started to feel a little bit anxious and somewhat offended. Perhaps he didn’t like you that much, or worse, he had a girlfriend and still had sex with you. You shake your head, trying to get rid of those thoughts, focusing on the task at hand.

A year before your graduation, you got a job in a small publishing house, working as an editor. You didn’t earn a fortune, but it was more than enough to make ends meet and pay rent. Still, you were trying to find a job in a bigger place, freelancing didn’t appeal to you and you were actually looking for a new flat, closer to the capital, which meant higher prices.

“For fuck’s sake,” you hear Arianne curse next to you, making you startle. With a frown, you lift your head to look at her. “You have been eyeing your phone for the last fifteen minutes, it’s quite annoying,” she says, half serious, half joking. The brunette tilts her head and places a hand on her hip. “He hasn’t called you yet, has he?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips. “I don’t know why it affects me so much… it was just a one night stand” you explain, running a hand through your hair and sighing.

“Perhaps he’s busy…” your friend tries to reason with you, seeing how defeated you looked. She gets on her knees and grabs your hands. “Hey, I don’t want you to feel like rubbish, you shouldn’t feel like this, even if he was a mindblowing fuck.” She says, quoting the words you said when you told her about that night, giving her all the nasty details over a cup of wine during dinner. “Have you checked his socials?” She asks, to which you nod.

“Yep. Private account on Instagram, no Twitter. Didn’t even bother to check Facebook, no one uses it nowadays” you move your hand in the air. “And before you ask, no, I didn’t ask a following request.”

“What’s stopping you?” She asks with a frown and clicks her tongue in annoyance when you shrug. “I swear to God…” she mutters under her breath before plopping down on her chair, opening an incognito tab in her browser, as if what she was doing was illegal.

You frown and move your chair next to hers. “What are you doing?” You watch as she types his name on the search bar. You read the first few results with narrowed eyes. They scan the many search results populating the screen, but they focus on one particular title. Meet the Targaryens: The Powerhouse Family Behind ‘Valyrian Press’

Oh God. “Click that one…” you point at the title and Arianne immediately clicks. The webpage loads quickly and a big picture pops up on the screen. Your eyes fall to Aemond’s figure in the family picture. He was looking into the camera, a serious expression on his face, his hands into the pockets of his black suit. He wore all black.

Arianne turns to look at you. “You didn’t tell me this snack was the son of Viserys Targaryen…”

“I didn’t know!” You whisper-shout, shrugging. “I had no idea he was the son of Viserys Targaryen, though the surname did ring a bell.” Just when she opens her mouth to speak, you interrupt her, lifting your index finger in the air. “Hey, it wasn’t a date, it was a fuck, okay? We didn’t just sit down to talk about our families” you explain, defending yourself. She lifts her hands in surrender.

“Didn’t say anything at all.” Your friend turns again and skims the article. “Well, my dear friend, you had sex with a single billionaire, son of the owner of one of the most important publishing houses in the country. If you don’t send that Instagram request, I will do it.” Just when she finishes saying that, your phone vibrates. Your head jerks and you extend your hand to grab it, your eyes widening when you see the notification. Arianne frowns. “Is it him?”

You nod, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Arianne gasps and chuckles as you open the text message.

Hi. I apologise for not writing sooner. May I call you?

You fight the urge of jumping up and down and screaming of happiness, and instead you take a deep breath to calm down the butterflies in your stomach and type an answer, your hands shaking in excitement.

Hi there :) Sure, you can call me.

Just a minute after you sent that message, your phone vibrates once more, and you take the call, eager to listen to his voice. “Hi?”

“Hello, gorgeous.” Gorgeous. You hear him hiss. “I��m so, so sorry for not calling you back. I have been quite busy these days, travelling and accompanying my father to so many meetings…” you can picture him moving his hands around, explaining things to you. “I meant to call you right after that night, but work got in the way. I hope you accept my apologies…”

You smile against the phone. “Don’t worry, Aemond. It’s okay, I suspected you were busy,” you reply, biting your lower lip to try to stop a laugh, seeing Arianne making faces at your words and mouthing ‘I told you’.

“Anyways, I’m in the city right now… are you at work?” He asks after a soft sigh and you find yourself twirling a strand of your hair like a high school girl. How pathetic, you think.

“Yes, but I finish my shift at 5pm. We can grab a coffee or a sandwich, if you want…” you suggest.

“Of course, darling. Give me your address, I can pick you up and we can go to Honeyholt Bakery, they sell delicious lemon cakes.” You beam, lemon cakes were your favourites, but you never told him that. You give him your job’s address before saying goodbye and hanging up.

You plop down on your chair, a dreamy look in your face as you look at the ceiling. You feel Arianne’s gaze on you, and you look down at her. She slowly shakes her head, a smirk making its way on her face. “I sooo envy you, lucky bitch” she jokes, making you giggle.

Knowing that you were hours away from meeting Aemond was all the motivation you needed to get down to work quickly, going over the document you had to edit before sending it to the executive editor. You finish a bit earlier than expected and grab your jacket and purse, kiss Arianne’s head and head towards the exit to wait for Aemond. You leave him a message letting him know you were ready, and not even a minute later you receive his reply. On my way ;)

Less than ten minutes later, you see a black BMW with tinted windows steering around the corner, slowing down and parking right in front of the doors of the building. The driver’s windows roll down and you see Aemond, with his hair combed back and wearing sunglasses. Fuck me.

He smiles at you and you smile back. “Hello, darling.” His voice is smooth and it makes you swallow hard. He steps out of the car, not before shifting the gear level into park mode and pulling the lever so that the car stays right in place.

“Hi, Aemond” you reply, your eyes sweeping over his lean figure clad in some brown polished shoes, black trousers, black shirt and black leather jacket. A lot of black. He looks delicious. He leans in to kiss your cheek, his expensive cologne filling your nostrils.

He places a hand on your lower back and indicates you to get into his car, opening the door for you, which you thank. He closes the door and walks around his vehicle to get inside, and you take a moment to look around, noticing how clean it smells. There’s music playing, the electric guitars and drums echoing in the small space. When Aemond gets inside and closes the door, he turns the volume of the radio down, but the music is still audible. You can recognize the song very clearly.

Meet me there where it never closes

Meet me there, I'll give you your roses

All is fair in love, oh-oh-oh

Honey, are you coming?

He takes his glasses off and begins driving the car at a normal speed as he talks. “How have you been, gorgeous?”

“I’ve been great… I have a lot more work now, but it’s so fulfilling,” you reply, your gaze falling to his hand on the steering wheel. He looks so confident as he drives, and you suddenly feel your cheeks getting hot, so you move your gaze to the window, watching the shops as you pass by.

Aemond smirks and glances at you. “I’m happy for you. The most important thing is enjoying and loving what you do” you hum at his answer, showing your agreement. “You work at a publishing house, right?”

“Yeah, I work as an editor, have been doing it for a year now” he raises his brows and nods.

“So I take it that you’re comfortable in that place…” his eyes are fixed on the road, concentrated on driving.

You purse your lips to the side, humming. “I’m actually looking for other publishing houses. I’m thinking about moving closer to the capital, and the rent is obviously higher in those areas, so I need a better wage.”

Aemond nods, taking in your words. “Well, my father has a publishing house. Valyrian Press, you might have heard of it.” Your eyes widen in surprise —fake, of course,— at his words. “There are some vacancies, and the pay is really good.”

“Your dad owns Valyrian Press?” He hums. “Oh, that’s why your surname rang a bell…” What a big fat lie.

Aemond huffs a laugh. “You’re telling me that you didn’t google my name?” How the fuck does he know things?

“Not me, my friend did.” He chuckles. “It never crossed my mind to google anything… but perhaps I did look up your social media…” you trail off.

Aemond chuckles again, the sound making your heart flutter. “Well, I barely use social media, I have an Instagram account but I’m not very fond of those apps…” You look at him and shake your head, letting out a soft chuckle. He parks the car outside the café. “What do y’wanna eat, darling?”

You. “Uhm, a cappuccino and some lemon cakes would be fine.”

He winks at you and smirks. “Excellent choice. I’ll be back soon” and with that, he exits the car. You watch him as he walks towards the bakery, biting your lip at the sight. You rest your head against the back of the seat, sighing and thinking about that man you barely know. You don’t know why, but you feel so drawn to him and you want to kick yourself because you’ve never felt like this for anyone. Not even your ex, for God’s sake.

You see Aemond getting out of the shop with two cups in one hand and a small white box with a yellow bow on top on the other hand. You stretch to get the door open, making it easier for him to get into the car.

“Thank you, beautiful” he offers you a smile and you sit comfortably in your position. He hands you the coffees and sets the box in the middle of your seats before closing the door and starting the car. “Where would you like to go?” He asks you, grabbing his cup and taking a sip from it.

“Wherever you want, Aemond… is there any specific place you wanna go?” You ask as you look at him, your eyes momentarily drifting to his hand on the steering wheel, the other one wrapped around the cup. Fuck, how is it that his hands were enough to make you go wild, the mere though of having them roaming over your body, pushing your legs apart, grabbing your hips, squeezing your tits, choking you… and his fingers, God, his long fingers.

“Hey!” He calls you, startling you. His glances at you once again, smirking when he sees you blinking and wide-eyed. “I asked you a question…”

You blink a few times more, frowning. “Uhm, sorry… what?” Your voice comes out meekly as you try to gather your thoughts. He stops at the red light.

“I asked you if you wanted me to take you to your apartment…” when you don’t answer, he huffs a laugh. “Cat got your tongue, hm?” He murmurs in a husky voice. He places his cup on the cup holder and extends his arm, his left hand coming up to your face to cup your cheek. “You like my hands, don’t you?” Aemond looks at you, giving you a smug smile when you mutter something inaudible. “You think I didn’t notice how you were staring at my hands, love?” You swallow hard as his thumb grazes your lower lip and you take the opportunity to open your mouth slightly, the tip of your tongue licking his digit before sucking it, the sensation going straight to his cock.

You hear him curse under his breath, his chest heaving. He sees the light going from red, to yellow, to green out of the corner of his eye and, reluctantly, he pulls his thumb out of your mouth, fearing that if you did that again, he might lose control of the vehicle. Before he retreats his hand you take it and guide it inside your jeans, letting him feel you.

“Fuck, you’re soaked” he mutters as he feels your wet folds, his other hand gripping the wheel tightly, his knuckles going white. You keep him there, pressing his hand against your cunt to get some relief. “Holy shit, babygirl, wait…” he retreats his fingers from your cunt and you whine. “Shh, relax…” he shushes you, his fingers quickly undoing the button of your jeans and pulling down the zipper to get more space.

He hisses when he gets his hand inside your lace panties again, his middle finger trailing up your entrance, gathering some of your essence to rub your clit with his digit. “Oh, fuck” you curse, throwing your head back and closing your eyes as the pad of his finger rubs lazy circles over your bud.

“God, love, you’re really wet… thinking about my hands turns you on, huh?” He taunts you, a low growl rumbling in his throat when he feels your cunt sucking his finger in. Aemond slides his finger inside you and you mewl as he starts pumping it. He continues driving, his gaze focused on the road ahead, his mind racing. “Want another finger, baby?”

“Hmm… ngh… yes, Aemond- oh!” You squeak when he inserts his index finger. You grip the grab handle above the window, trying to hold onto something as his fingers continue his work. “Fuck, right there” you moan when his fingers curl up, hitting your sweet spot with ease.

Aemond hums, curling them again and increasing the pace of his fingers. You were thankful the windows were tinted, otherwise passers-by would see what you were doing inside that car. Aemond’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as he feels your cunt tightening around his fingers, you are so close to cumming so he slows down the movements.

“N-no, Aemond, don’t stop, I’m so close…” you complain in a whine, and he groans lowly.

“Baby, I’m so fucking hard right now and if you continue making those beautiful sounds I might cum in my pants and crash this vehicle. I need you to tell me where you wanna go, I can’t focus on the road if I have you squeezing my fingers like that…” he explains, panting a little bit.

“Pull over… drive to a parking lot, I don’t know…” you plead, bucking your hips slightly. You don’t know how long you can last, not when the heel of his palm is pressing against your clit, eliciting whimpers from you.

Aemond drives towards the nearest parking lot he finds, his fingers moving inside you again at a relentless pace, making you gasp. “Fuck, baby, I can feel you getting closer, you’re squeezing my fingers so tightly…” He says through gritted teeth, smirking when you let out a high-pitched moan the moment his fingers reach that rough patch inside you, making you jolt. “C’mon, pretty girl. Cum all over my fingers, wanna feel you…” he coaxes.

He grunts when you press your legs together as you come, head thrown back and jaw open, incoherent words and moans spilling past your lips. His fingers continue working inside you, helping you ride out your orgasm. He pulls them out, and you nearly choke as you watch him, through half-lidded eyes, how he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean and moaning at the taste.

“You taste incredibly sweet, baby. You have no idea how much I need to put my cock inside you” you moan in response, head spinning at his words. He enters the parking lot and rushes to find a spot, parking the car immediately. “Come to the back” he orders, and he peeks around to check that no one sees you in the almost empty place.

Both of you get to the back of the car, almost throwing yourself at him. His lips capture yours in an intense kiss, his hand cupping your neck to pull you closer and angle your head to deepen it while the other rests on your waist. The tip of his tongue presses slightly against your lower lip and you gladly part your lips, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. You can taste the strong coffee in his mouth.

Your hands trail down his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken under your palms. Aemond growls into your mouth when one of your hands cup his evident bulge, palming him through the fabric. “Holy… shit…” he mutters against your lips. You take the opportunity to leave open-mouthed kisses along his jaw, his neck, all the way to his earlobe.

“Want to suck your cock, Aemond…” you purr in his ear before taking his earlobe between your teeth, nibbling softly as you lower the zipper of his jeans, slithering your hand under his boxers.

“F-fuck…” he curses through gritted teeth, closing his eyes for a moment as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one motion. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock straining against his stomach and you move in your place, bringing your legs up to kneel next to him, your ass propped up in direction to the window. Your index finger grates the weeping tip, making him shudder. “Don’t tease… put your mouth to work, needy girl” he instructs, his hand landing on your ass with a loud smack, making you yelp.

You swallow hard and lick your lips as you lean forward, your right hand wrapping around his base. Like a lollipop, your tongue licks his cock from the base to the tip, eliciting a hiss from him. The hand that smacked your ass comes to rest on the small of your back, hiking up your blouse and rubbing circles on your skin.

Your lips wrap around his tip, sucking it gently and swirling your tongue around it. “God… yes, like that…” he breathes out, his voice rough. You stroke his shaft with your hand in rhythm with the movements of your mouth, up and down his length. Your hair falls to the side but Aemond is quick to grab it, putting it in a ponytail as your head bobs up and down. He resists the urge to buck his hips up, trying not to hurt you.

You stop stroking him and move your hand to cup his balls, which ignites something primal in Aemond. He can’t help but thrust his hips upwards into your mouth, making you moan. “Fucking hell, you’re taking me so deep into that wet mouth… love it” he coos, biting his lip at the sight of your mouth around him and your head bobbing up and down. His cock is covered in your saliva, glistening under the dim lights of the parking lot.

You hollow your cheeks as you go up, your hands wrapping around his base again, adding a bit of pressure. That makes him growl and pant, the sounds he makes going straight to your cunt. He continues praising you in choked, needy moans, telling you how good your mouth feels on his cock, how he’s going to wreck your pussy immediately afterwards, his hand guiding your head up and down his length. You feel him twitch in your mouth, the signal that he’s close to cumming.

“Are you coming, Aemond?” You ask, your hot breath fanning against his length before taking him deep into your mouth, gagging around him.

“Y-yes… s-stop… I’m so close…” he warns, the obscene wet sucking sounds that fill the car making him let out a strangled moan. He pulls you away from his length, a trail of saliva still connecting your mouth to him. You use the palm of your hand to wipe your mouth, licking your lips and looking at him.

“Why did you want me to stop?” Your hand presses on his inner thigh, making him sigh deeply and let go of your hair.

“Because when I cum, I want to do it deep inside your cunt, alright?” He explains as he leans his back against the seat, his words making your jaw drop. “Now, get rid of those jeans and ride me.”

You eagerly do as told, putting your legs down and shimming out of your jeans and soaked panties. You toss them aside and straddle him, your bent knees on either side of his hips, your chest pressing against his given the constricted space you are in. His hands immediately land on either side of your hips, guiding you to sink down on his cock.

Both of you moan at the contact, your eyes close as he lets you adjust to his size. When you open your eyes you find his hungry gaze on you, his pupils dark with lust. He licks his lips, bringing one hand to cup your neck and pull you down to kiss him. The kiss is slow but passionate, sensual. You find support on his shoulders and you start moving your hips, finding the right rhythm.

Aemond pulls back to breath, his lips hovering over yours as you rest your forehead against his. His fingers grip your hips tightly, certainly leaving marks. “Hmm…” he hums, feeling how your cunt sucks him in, engulfing him. “D’you feel me deep inside you, baby?” He murmurs against your lips.

“Y-yes… you’re so deep, Aemond,” you reply in a shaky whisper. You feel his breath against your face due to the close proximity, hearing the low grunts and whines that leave his lips. His hands move from your hips to your abdomen, lifting your blouse to feel your skin, his touch setting your body on fire.

“No bra?” His eyes widen in surprise and he smirks. “Naughty girl, I might have to punish you…” He taunts as he pulls the straps of your blouse down, freeing your breasts. He mutters a curse and dives into your chest, his hands bringing your tits together, squeezing as his tongue swirls around your right nipple, making you arch your back against him. “You fit perfectly in my hands, baby…” he squeezes your tits once more, making you throw your head back. Aemond leans forward and leaves wet kisses on your throat, sucking the junction between your neck and shoulder as his big hands knead your tits.

Your nails dig into his shoulders as you increase the speed of your movements, letting out desperate whines as the tip of his cock bullies the rough patch inside you. You’ve never been this wet before, the squelching sounds making you blush furiously in embarrassment. “Fuck, you’re so wet… can’t wait for when you soak my cock as you come” those dirty words  he mutters against your ear have you gasping loudly and furrowing your brows. Aemond rests his forehead against your shoulder, the sounds escaping his lips coming out muffled.

“Aemond… I’m… fuck, I’m so close…” you speak in a choked moan, your arms wrapping around his neck as you bounce on his dick.

You feel him smirk against your skin, his teeth nibbling your collarbone. “Yeah, I can feel that… you’re so tight, love, you feel so fucking good” he praises, his voice hoarse and deep. Aemond lifts his head from your shoulder, looking up at you, his eyes roaming over your face. “Look at me” he demands in an authoritative, stern voice. You do as told, locking your eyes with his. “Do not tear your gaze away from me, you understand?” You nod frantically, your brows knitted together in pleasure.

His hands lower to your backside, gripping your ass tightly, helping you as you move on top of him. He brings his legs together, plants his feet on the floor and starts bucking his hips up, meeting your movements. Your eyes close shut involuntarily, wanton and sinful moans spilling past your lips as he pounds into you. “I said, fucking look at me” he says through gritten teeth, and you obey, as hard as it is to do so.

His eyes roam over your face, committing every detail to memory. “Y’gonna cum all over my cock, hmm? Can feel you squeezing me.” You nod, unable to speak. His hands grip your ass tighter, his nails digging into your skin. “Come, baby… let go and soak me, c’mon,” he gives your ass a loud smack, and that does it to you. His mouth is agape as he watches you come undone above him, your eyes rolling to the back of your skull and lips parted as you gasp for air. “That’s it, baby… I got you.”

You feel blood rushing through your ears, your eyes flutter close and your legs tremble. You feel Aemond’s hard grip on your ass as he keeps pounding into you, chasing his own release. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna…” his hips stutter and his arms wrap around your waist tightly as he cums deep inside your cunt, a guttural groan coming out of his lips, the sound muffled as he hides his head in your shoulder.

Both of you stay there, panting and holding each other as you come down from your intense orgasms. You feel like you’re walking on a cloud, feeling boneless. Once you finally catch your breaths, he lifts his head to place a kiss on your lips. He pulls back and huffs a laugh.

“Shit… are you okay?” He asks, placing soft kisses along your collarbone, bringing you back to earth. You struggle to find the words, but eventually open your mouth to speak.

“Yes… I feel amazing…” he chuckles at your answer, your voice coming out croaky.

“I’m glad. Did I fuck your brains out?” He smirks when you nod, and places another kiss on your lips as his hands rub soothing circles on your back. He rests his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. You untangle your arms from around his neck and place your hands on either side of his face, admiring his features. “I was serious, you know. About the vacancies,” he explains to you. “I can ask my father to arrange a job interview. I’m dead serious, darling.”

You chuckle, the sound of your soft laugh making him smile. You tilt your head. “Hmm… I think you’re just trying to get into my pants…” you tease, to which he chuckles.

“But I already did. Twice” he replies in a low voice, making you giggle. “Oh, and one more thing.” He adds, looking at you, his playful expression turning into a soft one. “Would you go on a date with me?”

Your lips curve into a smile. “Yes. I would love to.”

taglist: @melsunshine @tsujifreya @fan-goddess

[hysteria-things]

✿ PROMISE? ✿ PART SIX.

ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and chris hang out after what feels like forever, and he finds something personal of yours under the bed. because he’s nosy, he can’t help but open it.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, that should be it :)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,034

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: changing up some things…

(dividers by @strangergraphics)

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐍 disbelief, the nostalgia hitting him like a truck. nothing and he means nothing has changed about your house from when you guys were little. hell, there still was the wall by the doorway where it had your heights written in pencil. it faded throughout the years, but it’s still visible. his heart hurts when he realizes it stops at age ten.

the both of you talked as if you guys didn’t stop talking at all. “let’s chill out in my room.” you say, grabbing his hand and guiding him up the stairs.

although he was in here the other day, he didn’t get to really look around until now. your room captures you perfectly. you sigh, sitting down on the mattress that is filled with stuffed animals. you pat the spot next to you for him to take, and he does. “sorry if it’s messy.” you bite the inside of your mouth before speaking again. “now what? i was never a good host.”

“whatever you want to do.”

groaning, you get up and wipe your palms on your pants. “what i want to do is go pee. i’ll be right back.”

walking out of the room, you leave chris there alone. he rose himself off the bed and slowly walked around. he laughs to himself. he realized you became more comfortable with him again in the short hours you’ve been together, despite recent events. next to the closet door, there’s a bookshelf with a ton of books on it. the same bookshelf that was filled with dr. suess and harry potter. now, it’s filled with… interesting.

he leans down, reading the spines with furrowed brows. twisted games? the nanny? icebreaker?

stay curious for this one, chris.

next to the flatscreen TV on the wall, you have a lot of other stuff hanging up, one being your varsity award for volleyball. two pictures however stood out to him — besides the dinosaur with sunglasses painting you also have hung up. one of them is a polaroid of you and nate, recently took at the local fair. chris makes a face at that.

the other photo is of these two kids, roughly the age of seven. they look like twins; boy and girl. the rest of your family doesn’t live here, hence all of the pictures of them. because chris does nightly facebook searches to keep up, he noticed these are your cousin’s twins.

smiling softly, he thinks about how much you love your family. you’ve always been a family person, even if they aren’t here. he understands what that’s like. being in L.A. while everybody else is in boston sucks, but luckily they got a few months to be back home.

as he turns around to sit back down on the bed, he sees a notebook sticking out from under it. he doesn’t want to look through your belongings, but curiosity got the best of him. he bends over to pick it up and open it while lowering himself to sit down.

there is a note on the inside of the cover.

he skims through the pages to see how much you wrote and it is a good amount. he stops when the handwriting suddenly changes, meaning that you stopped writing for a while. the other entries had smudges on them except for the ones he landed on. this one must be new.

so, he started to read.

dear journal,

i’m sorry i ditched you for about a year and a half. i don't have an explanation for it, but lately, i’ve been itching to write. i remembered i had this journal - thanks to my cousin bethany for getting you for me for my 9th birthday. i know you’re an inanimate object, but i forgot how relaxing it is to write down my thoughts for nobody except myself.

i can’t help but cringe at what i wrote in the past, and i sincerely apologize.

“i can’t wait to marry kevin one day!”

“omg, he talked to me today!”

“i think we’re going to be together forever!”

i’m gagging just rethinking that moment. come on now.

anyway, life has been crazy lately. shoutout to the sturniolos for ditching me and acting like we didn’t grow up together! appreciate you guys for real. i’m exhausted.

the thing is, i always had trouble sleeping. i know i just said i’m exhausted, but it’s 3 AM and suddenly it feels like i’m wide awake. i just know i’m going to be grumpy for the next few days. a lot has happened ever since they left. i’ve changed, and i hate/love it at the same time.

i’ve been going out more, doing shit i shouldn’t. (don’t tell my parents…) something also happened a while ago that’s still a blur. i can’t put my finger on it. all i remember is that the police came to my door and asked me a ton of questions about somebody.

anyway, life has been happening too fast. i would appreciate it if it slows down a tad. on the upside, my mom said the rest of the family is coming here soon. i don’t know when, but soon. bethany would for sure be happy to hear i’ve started writing here again.

my thoughts are draining the second i write things on this paper, so i’m going to try and get sleep. i’ll update you whenever i can.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

me again: at approximately 4 AM. today has been something else, let me tell you. my mom came up to me yesterday and told me some unfortunate news. can you guess who’s back in town? if you guessed my lovely besties, you’re correct! and do you know whose birthday it is, meaning i have to go to the party? you’ve guessed it! my BFFs!

doesn’t help that i’m on my period right now. i can’t do this shit.

either way, i had to be there for nate. he’s the one that stuck around. marylou will forever be the original best friend in my opinion. she stuck around, too. it’s her children i got a bone to pick with. (except justin. he’s cool.)

seeing them in person for the first time in so long had me tweaking. i admit that i was a bitch to them at the party, and not to be a bitch now, but they deserved it. however, when i saw chris, my first thought was about how he’s such a cutie still. i hate my mind for that.

i tried to ignore them for the rest of the party, and it was semi-successful.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

you will not believe this. nick messaged me on instagram saying how sorry they were and asked to meet up at my house. for whatever reason, i said yes and they came over. we sort of cleared everything. key word, sort of.

they said they wanted me back in their life and apologized for what they did. i still need to give it time, but we do want to start hanging out again soon. i missed those dorks.

that’s until chris stopped me and asked for the note he wrote to me when we were little. the note he promised me to keep, and i obviously did. i’ll tape it here.

this little piece of paper is my favorite thing anybody ever gave to me.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

sorry, i left you hanging for a few days, a lot happened in such a short amount of time.

long story short, jaiden and claudia invited me to a party. chris texted me while i was there. he seemed a bit weirded out about why i was at finn yaw’s party, but i hope he knows i wasn’t there for any specific reason. i do appreciate that he cares about my well-being, even after the downfall.

i got home not long ago and he’s texting me as i’m writing this. he just asked me to hang out tomorrow which shocked me a little, but i said yes.

not going to lie, i’m excited to hang out with chris, even though i have no idea what we’re doing. hopefully, it goes well.

- y/n

chris snaps out of it as he hears you walking back into your room, making him shove the book back under the bed. he feels kind of honored to be a part of your little notebook. “sorry, that took longer than i wanted. i had to deal with something.” you say, sitting down on the bed with a sigh. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “why are you smiling like that?”

“smiling like what?”

“like… that,” you say, circling your finger that was pointing at his face.

“no reason.” he shrugs “anyway, what’s next on the y/n agenda?”

you look around the room while biting the inside of her cheek. “are you hungry? my dad made ribs last night and it’s to die for.”

jumping up from the bed, you motion him to follow you. you walk into the kitchen, flicking on the four light switches that are on the wall. you waltz over to the fridge and open it, going on your tippy toes to grab the container on the top shelf. “how many do you want?” you ask, going on your tippy toes once again to grab paper plates in the upper cabinet.

“three is fine. do you need help?”

you shake your head. “no, i got it.”

chris stands by the island that separates the kitchen from the dining room. he leans against it, watching you plop three ribs onto his plate and only one on yours. you take his plate in your hands and reach up to the microwave. you stick your tongue out and groan. you’re struggling because of how short you are since the microwave is on the wall above the oven.

“i got it.” he chuckles, grabbing the plate from your hand and sticking it in the microwave. his hand grazes the side of your arm as he puts in two minutes and presses start. you cross your arms without looking at him. “i could’ve gotten it.”

“yeah, right.”

sitting there for two minutes feels like ten before the microwave finally goes off. you start running to the microwave but he stops you. “i don’t want you to hurt yourself by reaching for it. i got it.”

he takes the plate out and feels a rib with his finger. he nods. “it’s good.”

“okay.” you say with a low tone. he looks towards you to see you staring at your rib that still lies cold on the plate. “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t think i want this anymore.” you quickly open the container, plop it back in, and stick it back in the fridge.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 sitting in your room, matt had to come pick his brother up. you and chris are currently standing on the front porch, having one last word with each other. matt is waiting in the van at the end of the stairs.

“it was nice hanging out with you again,” you say shyly. “we should get everybody back together soon.”

“i agree.” he smiles “i’m sure i’ll text you later.”

getting closer to him, you pull him into a hug. it was abrupt, but he hugged you back of course.

then, the horn of the van beeps causing you to jump and pull away. “can you hurry the fuck up? nick is waiting for us at home and is obnoxiously annoying. mom also made dinner.” matt screams from the window.

“i’ll see you around,” chris says, jogging down the stairs. he gets in the passenger seat and grabs the seat belt to strap himself in. matt waves to you, which you graciously return.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍’𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 them to get home. they live close to your house, and the duration is no longer than five minutes. he takes off his shoes at the door as his phone vibrates from getting a text.

y/n😶‍🌫️

thanks for today

i had fun :)

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @hearrtsturns @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @crazychrisl0v3r @maggieflms @strtuniolo @mutualsafe @riasturns @sturniolowhore @antpile00 @ashley9282828 @stingerayyy2 @sturnsjtop @luverboychris @yapperchris @imaslutforoldermen @madisonlovesyouu @poetatorturadaa @chr1sgirl4life @hiimolivia @jo-777 @sturnskiss @st4rgrlll @mattyblover07 @sm-ec @mattluvsmarni @knowingnothingnoel @mattsgirlfrieeend @bambi-slxt @sturnstvr @sturnclouds @bernardsbendystraws

[celabi]

tbh, I feel like I’ve been drifting away from the original scummy scara I made when I first made the au, so I would like to let everyone know that he is a BIG freak. the type of guy you avoid because he’s just… so creepy and weird. like, restraining order, banned in fifty states type of weird.

he will steal a pen you’ve been nibbling on in class, and do all sorts of things to it that you don’t wanna know. like shoving it down his throat or something idk.

he goes through the trash and takes the gun you spat out, and chews it as if he were a man on death row. and at this point he might as well be.

he ‘makes’ you home made lunch. (which is just store brought food he put into a lunch box). awe, so thoughtful, right? NO, he passed out after cumming so much to replace the dressing on your salad.

spits in your drink, so it’s almost like you’re kissing in a way, because his saliva is in your mouth yada yada. he’s so delusional, gosh.

this man jerks off to anything. pictures of you in a bikini. pictures of your panties that he snuck a photo of from under your skirt. hell, he has even fapped it to a post he found on one of your family members facebook where you look like the most ordinary person ever. anything.

he acts like an angel around you, but the moment you turn your back, he has this dark, violent glint in his eyes at anyone who isn’t you.

he STANK. like discord moderator who manages thirty different servers. he plays video games 24/7 and eats only fast food + he lives in his mothers basement so minus points.

his mind is SO dirty too. like you could be complaining about this one girl who has been getting on your nerves recently, and all he can think about is bending you over the table and running his hands all over your body. he thinks of you when he shouldn’t, and in ways he shouldn’t, even before you knew his name.

yeah he’s so sweet, and kisses the ground you walk on. but he also would love nothing more then to knock you up and keep you as his cute little spouse who he can come home and make love to every day.

god and he’s a brat too, don’t get me started. like, throwing tantrums when you decide to sit with someone else at lunch. starting fights with people who so much as look in your general direction (ones that he loses cause he is so small and scrawny). screaming profanities at the professors who separate your seating plans in lectures, and so on.

if you’ve been keeping up with my posts, you’ll know that this man has a literal sex doll replica of you he sleeps with at night. it’s so detailed to the point where there is freckles in the exact same spot they are on your skin. (even some moles and beauty marks that you didn’t even know you had, and god knows how he does).

has a shrine of you in his closet. strands of your hair he has collected. lipgloss and chapstick he has stolen from your bag whilst you weren’t looking. accessories like rings and bracelets. nail polish, all the works. and in the middle of this shrine, in all its glory, is a pair of your underwear that he took while you were in the changing rooms. he prays to it. the holy grail.

he has been dating you in his head the moment he saw you, like, gets a little annoyed when you don’t remember your five month anniversary, but the thing is, you didn’t even know you’re dating at all.

I love him. don’t get me wrong, but he is not the man you want to get involved with, like AT ALL.

go for someone like scummy alhaitham, who has (some) self respect 👍

[saerins]

⋆୨ chapter three ୧˚ for a while, you were all mine

⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: chapter two - a million miles away, still you connect me in your way <> next: chapter four - behind a box of reasons why ୧˚

⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?

ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 6.3k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, jealousy/paranoia, third parties, yn and sae finally sharing one bed | notes: eeep this was long i’m sorry !! more of the other girl here heh ^_< also mwah thank you to all of you who’s reading ily !! <3

In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t right of you to go through your husband’s stuff. Maybe you should’ve just looked at that little black box and left it there and continue to be ignorant.

But no. In this world, you’re nosy and greedy and you wanted to know who exactly it is that Itoshi Sae of all people can’t get over and now you have exactly what you were looking for.

After extensive research—and by research you mean scrolling through your husband’s social media (all of them), you managed to find her tagged in a post buried way below on his Facebook wall. Silver lining is: there’s nothing recent. The bad part? Judging by the date, they’ve known each other for a long time.

Apparently her name is Mirin, and her family’s made up of a whole slew of top lawyers in the whole of Japan. There’s not a lot on her Facebook, but her Instagram is a whole other story. Her posts the last few years put her somewhere in Europe, and judging by the content, she’s been studying there for a while. But before that, back when the posts were all in Japan, you catch a few photos of Sae. Some of them have Oliver and Eita, and a couple of other guys you haven’t met before.

It’s really wrong of you to do this, only because you know you’re just setting yourself up for a world of paranoia, but you can’t stop. You move over to the pictures she’s tagged in, and there’s one from Oliver that catches your attention.

Because it’s dated a few weeks back.

The first of two photos show Oliver, Eita, Sae and the same guy you saw back in Mirin’s feed—the one with jet black spiky hair. They’re in a bar, you presume, sitting around a private booth with a ton of alcohol in the ice bucket on the table. You recognise his attire; it’s from the very first night Sae bothered to sit down at the dining table and eat with you. 

The second makes your heart crash to the floor. In the photo, in Sae’s place is Mirin herself, looking drop-dead gorgeous in a skin-tight red dress that you wouldn’t ever think of wearing. (One, because it’s much too revealing for your own taste, and two, well, just because you’re more of an oversized t-shirt kind of girl.)

All you can take away from what you saw is that Mirin is now back in Japan. Coupled with the fact that Sae had been gone even though he was off from work for those first few days of your marriage, you deduce what you wish isn’t true—was he meeting up with her all this time? Even 

Trying to avoid falling into utter madness, you grab your phone and text your ever-trusty best friend.

Reo, meet you at our usual. ASAP!!!

Just as you’re about to leave the house, Sae gets back from wherever he’s been (which now you can’t help but wonder whether he was meeting Mirin), and you run right into his chest.

“Careful, busy?” Sae asks, which is more than Sae usually does and you realise just how low the bar is set right now.

Still, you answer him like you always do. “Yeah I’m gonna meet Reo for a bit,” you tell him, biting back a snarky comment about Mirin.

Even with those doubts of Sae in your head, you can’t help but stop to appreciate how he hands you your keys from the key hanger before you forget, or how his other hand is gripping onto yours, warm and just slightly calloused. It’s the first time you’ve felt them since that day at your own wedding.

“Take your time, I’ll handle our dinner tonight,” he tells you, and you think that’s already a lot considering that he’s never really bothered with anything the past few weeks, but then you feel a soft sensation against your forehead—very brief, so unfamiliar, way too soft—and then it’s gone in just a second and it’s way too quick that it has you doubting its existence at all.

All you hear is a soft “see you” before the door shuts behind you, and then there’s only the erratic beating of your heart that fills your ears.

“Yikes.”

“Very helpful, thanks,” you sigh exasperatedly as you plop down onto the cushioned seat across from Reo.

Reo laughs, handing you your phone back, open to Oliver’s Instagram account. “Then ask for a divorce, I’m sure he’d happily oblige if all of that’s true.”

“You know why I can’t, Reo,” you remind him, close to giving up.

Reo nods, remembering about your parents and deciding not to make matters worse. “Did you ask him about it though?”

You frown, glaring up at your best friend who’s now happily sipping on his cold brew. “And let him guess that I was stalking his ex? Sure I did.”

Reo snorts at your sarcasm. He thinks it’s funny how you’re oddly meek in front of Sae, and yet you’re snappish around him. Comes with the many years of being best friends, he supposes. But on that note, “you think there’s something going on between them?”

For the first time, Reo sees you helpless, eyes staring into nothing, index finger idly tracing circles on the polished wooden surface. “I don’t know,” because all you know is that you’re already exhausted from overthinking all the things they could be doing behind your back. “But… he’s always away and he says it’s work when I know it’s not. And she’s back and they were at the same place and urgh, I don’t know what to do.”

By that last line, you’re already burying your head in your hands, slumped against the table, Reo watching on as you grumble in frustration. He chuckles, gently patting your head before you look up at him, “what if they’re just friends right now?”

“It’s still weird, isn’t it? I mean… from the looks of it, they were pretty serious at one point.” Your words are all muffled because you’re pretty sure this is you being jealous now—thanks to Sae considerably warming up to you (be it at his own sluggish pace), it’s hard not to feel anything for him. In a way, you’re learning to like a lot about him, but there’s this unshakeable doubt you can’t brush off in the form of his ex.

Reo leans back against his chair now, pondering out loud. “Hmm I wonder what that reminds me of.”

In a second, you know all too well what he’s referring to, and you find yourself unable to look him in the eye. “That’s… different. We didn’t act on it.”

He rests his elbow on the table, head resting against his fist, “yeah but… we were still each other’s first kiss, right?”

“But we didn’t amount to anything.”

“Except that we’re best friends now,” Reo tells you, and you know he’s trying to get a point across but you’re not sure you want to understand it.

“And that’s all we ever were, Reo.”

Smiling, Reo leans forward a little, cautious at keeping his voice down. It won’t do if people misunderstand and word gets around. “Listen, I don’t know about you, but you were all I wanted at one point. For more than just that one day under the cherry blossoms, more than that one time I stole your first kiss.”

It stuns you a little to hear it, because any romantic emotions between the two of you were never said or shared. Both you and Reo knew back then that your parents wouldn’t ever be in favour of him and his rebelliousness that you both just decided it wasn’t worth the hassle. At that time, when you were both foolish kids, having that something intangible was enough. Maybe it faded for you faster than it had for Reo, but he knew that it once existed. Even if only for a second.

“And?”

You’ve gone soft now, and Reo knows you understand. You’re just in denial.

“Are you sure Sae would feel the same if he knew about it? If he knew I used to love you too?” Reo asks you, genuinely wondering for himself.

You’re about to argue that Sae doesn’t even care, but putting yourself into his shoes, you get where Reo’s coming from. History is history. No matter how long ago it was or how short the relationship (or lack of one) was, the feelings still existed, once upon a time.

Still, you have a feeling that there’s more than meets the eye. Especially if Sae has to hide it all the time. He’s never even said her name to you, if they met at all.

“Anyway look, do you want me to try asking Oliver about it? I’ll be discreet, though I can’t really say the same for that knucklehead,” Reo warns you. It’s not like he knows Oliver much outside of any business dealings, but he can tell that much at least.

You shake your head anyway, knowing it’s a bad idea. For all you know, Sae would just lash out at you for prying into his business when you’re just his on-paper wife.

“Wonder why they broke up though,” you think out loud, watching the liquid in your cup swish around, close to spilling off the edge as you swirl it with your hand, almost completely lost in thought.

Reo answers you without missing a beat. “She went abroad to study and just called it off thinking it wouldn’t work.” His eyes go wide the moment your head shoots up, and he winces after letting it slip.

“You knew?”

“Yeah…”

“What the- how?” Because it’s incredulous how Reo happens to know that much more about the relationship.

He sighs, fessing up. “I was asking around about Sae remember? When I told you he’s just a tough nut to—”

“Yeah yeah,” you wave it off, wanting him to get to the point.

“Well, Oliver’s kinda a blabbermouth so…” Reo sighs, as if he senses there’s no point in keeping it in, not when you’re already halfway into that rabbit hole yourself.

And you’re all ears. Half because you really just want to learn more about it and the other half just wanting confirmation that you’re not crazy for overthinking about this. But then Reo tells you and you’re not sure anymore.

“He said Sae was never over her, loved her to bits.” Reo pauses, hesitating before he opens his mouth again. “He said Sae was waiting for her to get back before starting things up again.”

Oh.

SEVEN YEARS AGO.

“You’re kidding me, right?”

Surely it wasn’t a stretch to be furious that distance would be enough of a reason for a breakup? Surely Sae didn’t have to think himself crazy for refuting such an idea?

Mirin’s hair flowed in the wind, pretty as it always was, and it would be even prettier in his memories. She looked unsure, and he knew it too. He knew her like the back of his hand, down to the injury on his ankle. She was only doing what she thought was right, and that was offering each of their own freedom, though Sae had no single doubt in his mind that that wasn’t what he wanted.

“Sae, please don’t make this harder than it already is,” she told him, her eyes swimming with tears that she wouldn’t allow to overflow.

Always so stubborn, and forever thinking less of herself. That was how he knew her to be. And as much as he hated that stubbornness at that moment, he loved her just as much.

With a hand reaching out to her, he pulled her to him, letting her rest her head in his chest, something that he savoured because it wouldn’t be long until she’ll be gone for who knows how long.

“Is it selfish of me to say I don’t want to break up with you?” Sae was asking her, genuinely. He didn’t know how to handle this—when life held different paths for two people in love, wasn’t it just common sense that they could still tread it and yet be together? Was long distance really the end of everything they had?

Mirin sniffled just a little before she pulled away and forced herself to smile, something that Sae hated. It was always the fake ones that irked him, even now.

“Is it selfish for me to think that we’re supposed to?”

Maybe he didn’t know the answer. But all he knew was that if she still felt like they should, then he’d concede. He was always weak when it came to her. It was always the same. He couldn’t imagine being weak to anyone else. It was her. Only her.

“Fine, we’ll do that, if that’s what you want,” he told her, a tone so gentle that no one but her has ever heard. But he drew close, tipping her chin up so she would look at him, his teal eyes appreciating every inch of her beautiful face, the most beautiful one he had ever seen, and the most beautiful one he thought he would ever see. “But you know something?”

Mirin swallowed the lump in her throat, the amount of love she felt threatening to swallow her whole. “What?”

Sae let out a deep chuckle, a soft one before he pressed his lips against hers, a promise laid between their lips like it was a secret only they both would keep.

“Nothing would stop me from waiting for you to come back. So come back to me, okay? Come back, I’ll wait for you.”

That night when you get home, you feel just slightly numb. After hearing what you did, it’s no surprise. You’ve always been kind of weak when it comes to feelings. You’re more heart over mind and you’d choose your heart over and over again even if you had no more blood left to bleed.

You think you’re never getting over it until you walk in and realise that Sae’s in the kitchen, setting your dinner down on the table. It’s like your tears automatically dissipate once you look into his eyes.

“Oh, just nice,” is all he mumbles before he sits down at his place on the entirely too-big dining table for the two of you.

Across from him, you sit down as you look at the spread before you. A steak on each of your plates, potato puree at the side. In the middle there’s assorted sides of mushrooms, corn kernels and what you assume to be a tray of sauces for the meat.

“Did you cook all of these?” You ask, almost breathless. You’re about to say he’s a much better cook than you are, until Sae speaks up.

“No.” He seems nearly unwilling to answer you, a delicate frown on his face. “Accidentally burnt the pans when I tried to cook.”

“Huh?” You spin your head around to find the sink filled with all your pans, and from the looks of it, Sae had been trying to scrub the burnt portions off unsuccessfully.

“We need to buy new pans.”

Sae says this all too monotonously, like he’s half-robot and half completely embarrassed, that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Besides, it’s kind of cute that there’s a faint pink on his cheeks. You’ve never seen that before.

He looks at you incredulously, like he wasn’t expecting you to laugh at him like he’s a damn clown. Flinging a mushroom at you with his fork, he rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” he groans.

Pouting at him mockingly, you decide to tease him a little more. “You didn’t touch anything else in the house and ruin them, did you?”

And you were joking, until you realise Sae’s averting his gaze, stuffing his mouth full with corn kernels.

“Sae!”

“We might need to get new stuff for the laundry room too,” he confesses, talking with his mouth full. (Spoiler: you find out later that he put the wrong detergents in the washer and accidentally flooded the laundry room.)

Still, you think it’s sort of endearing that he tried to do the chores while you were the one out for a change, so you stop yourself from making fun of him too much. It’s not like whatever you learned earlier isn’t still sitting in the back of your head (because a part of you wonders if he’s doing all this out of guilt), but some part of you wants to be selfish and let yourself feel special, even if it’s delusional, at least for a little bit.

You want to feel like the wife he misses when you’re not around, like the person he would think of when his mind strays. Is this all too much to ask?

Maybe you just can’t help yourself, so you bring yourself to ask: “Sae, why did you agree to this?”

There’s a pregnant pause in the room, the only sounds filling the silence being the stainless steel cutlery hitting the plates as Sae adjusts himself. “Why did you?”

You suppose that maybe it’ll be easier for him to share if you start first, so you bite the bait. “Long story but… if I don’t then it’ll fall to my sister and she’s happy with someone else.” You swallow the meat in your mouth, the fat rendered so well it makes you crave for more. “I don’t want her to have to sacrifice that. Our parents aren’t exactly the nicest people in the world.”

Sae listens to you, an understanding settling in his chest. He could laugh from the coincidence of it all. “Same, but for my brother,” he tells you, prodding at his steak. “And he’s happy with soccer, not some girl. Can’t get a girl to save his life.”

Somehow, you can hear the quiet fondness that he has for Rin that makes you believe he’s a good brother.

“Would a marriage affect his career all that much?”

There’s a certain complexity behind Sae’s expression when you ask that question, something that you can’t decipher. But he scoffs, “let’s just say, my parents aren’t the nicest people either. I would know.”

And something tells you that it’s not something you want to ask yet, so you let his answer sit with you.

“Oh, speaking of parents,” Sae brings up his phone, switching the subject and handing it over to you. It’s a string of texts between him and his mother, apparently. You hold it up to your face, reading through and it appears they’d gotten you both tickets. “Mine got us both tickets, so.”

As you scroll, a grin appears on your face as you look at him. “Honeymoon tickets to Korea?” You’re almost squealing. It’s been a long while since you’ve last had a vacation, and ten days of distraction sounds really nice after all the information you’d just learned today.

Sae rolls his eyes, though you don’t miss the slight tug upwards at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, so get packing, we leave in two days.”

And as excited as you are, you feel a vibration and the brief flash of ‘dummy’ messaging him, the only part of the preview that you can see being: no, take me with you :(

You’re pretty sure it vibrates some more but by then, you’re already handing the phone back and Sae just locks his phone without bothering. Shaking your head, you try to stuff that image back to the deepest crevices of your mind, determined to not let it ruin your mood for your getaway.

Ex lover or not, Sae is still your husband and it’s not like he hates this (by the looks of things, it’s only been getting better and better), so you’re still hell bent on making things work.

Two days fly by way too quickly.

The day after Sae tells you about the trip, you immediately get to work at packing. Ten days is not a short trip and you plan to make full use of it, and for that, you have to be ready.

You had spent the whole day buying anything you would need—travel-friendly items and whatnot—while commuting back home to your parents’ house (at a timing you know they’re at work, of course!) to take anything you might’ve left there that you needed. Just as you left the house, nostalgia took over as you looked around at the place where you grew up.

It’s strange. People say to cherish what time you have with your parents, that one day you’re going to move out and you’re going to miss it.

You don’t feel like that’s necessarily true, because you’re living proof. The only thing you’d miss is your sister and you still talk to her everyday. Meanwhile, the only times your mother or father ever talks to you is to ask you about your marriage and warning you not to annoy Sae too much, as though it was a given and that it shouldn’t be the other way around.

Maybe it doesn’t make much sense; you and Sae (or maybe just you) trying to be a family when you both have no idea what a proper family is like. Even if it is just on paper.

Now you’re on a town car to the airport and you’re fiddling with your passport in your hands, staring out the window like a little child that’s going overseas for the first time. (Next to you, Sae’s thinking the exact same thing—you do look so much like an excited child. Or maybe a puppy.)

Of course, Sae’s parents waste no expenses in gifting you two first-class seats. Not that you’ve never been in first class, but it’s nice to be next to Sae, and you catch yourself, realising just how quickly you’re catching feelings.

“What?” Sae’s just getting ready to turn his phone to flight-safe mode when he catches you staring, a hint of smugness forming inside of him.

Even with a small partition separating your seats, you can see his teal eyes staring at you, long lashes fluttering in all its glory. Instead of offering an answer, you just shake your head and lean back, busying yourself by adjusting the screen in front of you. 

Being in a state of denial is easy; it’s actually fun to sit in first class next to Sae, on a three-hour flight to your honeymoon, annoying him each chance you get, earning yourself a death stare every instant before laughing yourself silly when he flips off at you. It’s been a few weeks, but you think you’ve grown accustomed to what Sae is like that you know his middle fingers to you are never meant to be taken seriously and his silence is just how he is when he isn’t fully opened up. It nearly makes you think you’re crazy for doubting him and yet you don’t have the balls to question him about any of that. Not yet, because you’re not ready for this to end (if it will).

The itinerary had already been planned out by Sae’s mother, but it wasn’t like either of you wanted to follow it. One, Sae likes to do things spontaneously anyway and two, well, you have a feeling that he might want to treat this like a solo trip. It’s not like either of you have properly been husband and wife much to have a proper honeymoon together.

So count you surprised when you suggested that you both try to do solo trips around the city and just meet up for dinner, only to have Sae agree and yet follow you wherever you decide to go that first day.

At first, you were just wondering whether he had the same plans, but after he followed you into a Sephora looking absolutely clueless and then getting all flustered and sticking to you the moment the staff there asked him if he wanted to do a skin test, you allow yourself to think that he’s actually tagging along with you.

“What are you doing?” You decide to ask after exiting another store, carrying no less than five bags thanks to your anxiety of asking Sae what he’s up to.

On his part, he merely shrugs and looks away, hands in his coat pocket, looking absolutely like a model out of a magazine. Sometimes you wonder if he’s really yours. On paper, at least.

“This is our honeymoon, right? Makes sense that we’re together.” That’s all the explanation Sae offers, his gaze hovering over the bags you’re carrying, before he leans closer. “Besides, you’re my wife,” he says, gently grabbing your bags and carrying it for you.

He doesn’t say that it’s just on paper this time. And you can’t help but read into it. It’s perplexing how easily his words can affect you. It has your heart doing somersaults and your lips nervously pursing together.

“So, where next?” He prompts, looking at you expectantly.

And maybe you’re a little too excited for this pleasant turn of events that you’re grinning from ear to ear as you stare at him. “Wait, really?” 

You can’t even hide the glee in your voice and Sae, for the first time, smiles—even if he’s doing it as he rolls his eyes at you.

“Yes, stupid,” he tells you, chuckling as you hop slightly in excited. “Are we going or are you just gonna stand here like a little puppy?”

With excited nods and a little squeal, you clap your hands together before daring to put your fingers around his wrist, dragging him with you.

Sae follows quietly behind you, staring at you as you happily tread ahead, your hands warm and guarding his against the slightly chilly air, hair flowing in the wind and he suddenly thinks you’re even prettier than he first thought you were. And then he starts thinking that maybe this part of his life that’s planned by his parents isn’t so bad after all.

Though, when you get back to the hotel, you find out that Sae has already specially asked for two separate beds, to the surprise of all the hotel staff, because of course, Mrs Itoshi had booked the honeymoon suite for the both of you. Special requests for that room usually mean flowers on the bed, or breakfast just the way they like it—not for the groom of all people to be asking for a separate bed altogether, especially when he insists there is no additional person.

“I’ll sleep out here,” Sae tells you the moment you get back to the hotel that night, gesturing to the bed set up by the television, much to your bummer. But you suppose you can’t expect too much—hand holding was already a miracle in itself.

“Oh yeah, sure,” you shrug it off, like it doesn’t even matter. Deep down you feel like a rock was dropped from your throat to the bottom of your stomach, forming a gaping hole in your heart along the way that you tried to will into non-existence.

Still, somehow, despite this little obstacle, you find yourself optimistic after being witness to Sae’s change in demeanour.

“Hey, Y/N?”

When you turn around, you see a hint of hesitation flicker across his teal eyes before he shakes his head, brushing it off.

“It’s nothing, goodnight.”

Although you’re curious, you decide not to press him about it. Offering a small smile, you nod.

“Goodnight, Sae.”

Over the course of your entire honeymoon, you find that you shouldn’t be chiding yourself for being delusional in the first place.

For once in this one-sided love affair, you feel like perhaps it’s not so one-sided at all. Because from what you’ve learned about Sae in your close-to-minimal time together, he isn’t someone that you can force into doing anything he doesn’t want to. At least when it comes to mundane activities which includes trips. (Unless you’re his parents who you have no doubt in your mind probably mirrors your own and have their ways of controlling him, per se.)

But it’s hard to think he doesn’t want to do any of this with you when he’s so compliant. He follows your bucket list of things to do and doesn’t complain once. He lets you drag him to the palace and looks only slightly concerned when you tell him you want to “do the thing where we can dress up like royalty and take pictures” but he only sighs and concedes within seconds.

When he comes out of the room looking like the most handsome prince you’d ever met, you’re too shy to meet his gaze but he tilts your head up to look at him for most of the shots anyway. With his face so close to yours, with these kinds of small gestures which he willingly initiates, you begin to wonder if it’s possible to make him happy in this possibly loveless marriage.

Spending ten days together, surrounded by just each other and doing things that couples do; it nearly makes you feel as if this is real. Like Sae really loves you and that he had asked you to marry him one day out of the blue because of it. Nothing like how you felt that first time you met him, in your dressing room minutes before you were about to become husband and wife, being talked down to and told that this was a facade and could be nothing more.

Now he’s here with you, sticking close and following you around, entertaining your requests for activities, falling asleep on your shoulder when you were on the plane to Jeju, and sometimes he absentmindedly holds your hand like he’s used to it. He helps you with your luggage always, and he makes sure you get food whenever your stomach starts growling, and he’s more observant than you give him credit for because he starts picking the radish off your plate without you asking.

Your album’s suddenly filled with pictures of you and Sae and you were hesitant at first but dragging him to the amusement park when he wasn’t for it at first was a good decision; for a while, you get to see what he’s like when all the downturned lines on his face reverse, when he looks the most like an actual guy in his mid-twenties, enjoying life instead of brooding all the time. Thanks to that, your pictures are more both of you smiling or being goofy together instead of faceless pictures because neither of you feel like showing your faces at all.

By the time your honeymoon is about to come to an end, you find that maybe there’s hope for this after all. That maybe you’d just been overthinking everything prior to this and it shouldn’t be worth worrying over after the trip ends.

But you find that hope can be flimsy sometimes. 

On the seventh night there, you and Sae are both on your bed, in the actual bedroom, fighting (not literally) over a multiplayer game. Just two adults hunched over one phone playing frustrating games meant for kids. (Somehow it makes you feel like perhaps neither of you ever had a normal childhood and this is something to make up for it.) It’s all fun and games until you see a throng of message notifications from dummy mixed in with several from what you presume to be Sae’s group chat with the guys.

And you can keep pretending like it doesn’t matter, except Sae immediately stops after the current round and tells you he has to take a call. And you already know more or less who he’s going to talk to. And just like that, you feel like you’re back to square one all over again.

The subsequent nights (and days) aren’t easy for you either. After just giving up on thinking and forcing yourself to sleep that night, you’d been stuck with paranoia everyday. Especially when you realise that he’s starting to take calls every night outside on the balcony where he’s sure you’re out of earshot. 

You wonder if he’s being lovey dovey with her outside when he talks to her. You wonder if he imagines you as her when you’re out together. You wonder if he wishes you were her. You wonder if all this is just a gimmick; a test run for when he does the actual things with the actual girl he wants to do them with.

Safe to say, by your last night there, you’re a mess. The moment you get back from trying to be happy all day (which was a disaster because you wouldn’t stop trying to minimise contact with Sae), you tell him you’re too tired and that you’ll just go ahead and go to bed.

Which, of course, is code for ‘you just want to lie in bed and cry all night’.

Sae couldn’t even get a word out before you shut the door on him, plopping down onto the bed and crying into your pillow. Maybe holding everything in was a bad idea. Now you’re bursting with emotions and you try to call Reo a few minutes later but you can’t even get him because he’s busy somehow and you’re positive that the gods hate you right now.

There is one thing about being on rock bottom that you like, though; at least you know how you feel. You’re exhausted and upset and envious because you wish you could be that person for your husband. But you keep getting reminded that you’re not. That somehow you’re just a mere stand-in until he marries his real wife next time. The one he promised to love forever. (Technically, he vowed that to you on your wedding day too, but that’s not the same and you know it.)

Deciding to shut off your phone and have this time to yourself to cry your eyes out, you miss the sudden swarm of notifications that come in. And thanks to you stuffing your head into the pillow, you don’t notice Sae opening the door and peeking inside, an unfamiliar feeling settling inside him at the sound of you sobbing.

He gently closes the door behind him as he walks to you, your back turned to him, your hands and feet hanging onto the bolster like a koala to a branch. Slowly, he saunters over to you, almost like he’s afraid to. When his hand rests on your shoulder and he sinks into the mattress beside you, you stiffen up for just a moment before spinning around and sobbing into his chest instead.

You didn’t expect him to even enter your room at all, much less let you stain his shirt or hold you close when you’re being emotional like this, but he stays there, hand gently rubbing your arm, up and down, a gentle kiss placed on the top of your head. It makes you wonder what kind of games he’s playing. Is this Sae not being able to make up his mind and that’s why he’s still so nice to you even when he has his old flame in the back of his head?

“Do you… want me to leave you alone?” He asks, though you can argue it’s kind of a stupid question but then you realise he probably doesn’t know much about actual relationships so you let it slide.

You shake your head in response, deciding that as stupid as it all sounds, you want to throw your hat in the ring. You’ve fallen for him, and you want him for yourself.

And maybe it’s wrong of you to project this on him, but your absence of a normal family where a home is not just a house and where parents shower their children with actual love and concern makes you yearn for one yourself. And maybe it’s not a great idea to want that from a man you married from being forced to, but thanks to this honeymoon you can see that there’s a flicker of spark there.

That Sae’s not emotionless and he’s definitely not cold to you. Not anymore. That if you guys had been given more time instead of being rushed into things by your parents then maybe the whole wedding could’ve gone without any of the hitches you experienced. That every single radish he picked off your plate, every picture he took with you, every time he held your hand, every time he pulled you close—none of that was manufactured, was it?

So isn’t it possible for you to be happy with him? So is it still foolish or selfish of you to want to be with him?

Is it too much if you ask him about it?

“Hey, Sae?” Your voice is soft and timid and more vulnerable than you’ve ever shown, but he hears you loud and clear, his “hm?” resounding against his chest, right next to your ear. “Can you stay?”

A few seconds of pause, and he replies, “of course.”

You shake your head slightly. “I don’t mean that. I mean, you know, what we said on our wedding day.” Your voice is entirely muffled, still Sae understands.

There’s an even longer pause this time, and you think that Sae’s just thinking of a way to get out of this until you hear him speak up again.

“Idiot,” he chides, but you can hear the soft affection in his voice. Suddenly, you feel his pinky wrapping around your own, and he holds it near your face. “I promise you,” he whispers, and you wish you could see the expression on his face, “I’ll stay.”

It might be wishful thinking but you think he really means it.

taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @tsukishiro-yue2402 @kaiserkisser @pookiebearcave @dcvilxswish @saeskiss @whtflrr @arminseas @raphsimp @saharei @danibxe @lectris00 @comet-kun @ishitam67 @gskill @sweet2wthsblog *bolded: can’t tag you due to your settings >_<

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 19 🍒

"Hungry Heart"

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 6,022

Summary: Going to Jackson for a wedding seems like just a friend doing a favor for a friend, but old acquaintances and new attitudes don't always make for a great combination.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (reader is 39, Joel is 56), takes place June - December 2023, mention of eating food/drinking alcohol, mention of divorce, language, No Smut, mention of infidelity, post-divorce strife, Ellie is kind of a delinquent (will be discussed in next chapter), brief glimpse of lumberjack!Joel, forced proximity, mutual pining (mostly on Joel's side), Joel tries to be an authority figure and Ellie ain't having it

Author's Note: thank you to everyone who's stuck around to read this and been very patient with me! my birthday was last week so there was a lot going on, otherwise I would have had this out earlier. So.. we've got these two together again, but the reunion isn't exactly a happy one..

Series Masterlist

June 2023 San Francisco, CA

It's not until you're seated in a booth at the trendy new sushi bar downtown that you begin to doubt your agreement to meet Sarah while she's in town for a work conference. You'd said yes initially, then waffled about it in the coming weeks, and now you're drinking sake to fortify yourself. Your therapist told you it's a bad idea to mix alcohol with reacquaintances, but you're already refilling the ochoko when you look up for a moment and spy Sarah approaching you through the crowded restaurant.

You've never thought about what she might look like. A part of you imagined that you'd be sitting down to dinner with the same kid from twenty years ago. But Sarah has grown up, in her thirties, a successful attorney. And, from what you gathered by spying on Joel's Facebook account years ago, she's also a mother.

"Thank you for meeting me," she says, embracing you the way women always embrace each other, something you never got used to because of you lack of female friends. She smells like expensive perfume, the kind you spray on yourself at Sephora just for fun, and is dressed in a white maxi dress with blue floral print. She looks amazing, and you silently berate yourself for wearing black distressed jeans, a Rolling Stones tee and your lucky red Converse.

"You're all grown up," you remark, a hint of sadness in your tone.

"You look beautiful," she says in return. "You don't even look like twenty years have passed."

Little does she know you spent forty dollars on a concealer to hide your undereye circles, and were talked into spending another twenty on something called a lip oil that makes your lips sticky and tastes like cheap pineapple, which you wiped away on the restaurant napkin as soon as you sat down.

Settling down to small talk, you neglect to look at your menus, annoying the waitress who stops by to take your order three times and ultimately just comes by to refill your drinks.

Sarah lives out east in Boulder, Colorado, practicing law alongside her fiance Theo. They have a son together, ten year old Finn.

"Theo proposed when I got pregnant," Sarah says. "But I wanted us to build a foundation first, construct our little family. And when the time was right, I proposed to him."

She shows off pictures of Finn, sharing the funny and cute anecdotes that parents do, and when she asks about Ellie you do the same: Ellie in the hospital, just hours old, wearing a tiny knitted pink and blue hat as she glowered at the camera; Ellie at four, playing T-ball, one of just two girls on an all-boys team; Ellie at ten winning the school spelling bee.

Being an Army wife gave you the opportunity to see the world, experience things you otherwise wouldn't. Japan, Germany, Italy.. you were happy that Ellie got to experience them too.

But even that couldn't save your marriage to Justin.

There were infidelities on both sides, and when you found out about his, it was almost a relief to discover he was not Nice Justin, just a man who had affairs. In the midst of your own liaisons, you felt vindicated, though the fun wore off easier than it had in your youth.

Filing for divorce was only difficult considering Ellie. Justin didn't fight it, handing over full custody. It was the only part of the process that broke your heart. Now you were just repeating a history of broken families. Once the divorce was finalized it was like throwing up after being nauseous for so long, just good to get it out of your system.

("I kept my married name, just to piss off the new wife," you tell Sarah, who snickers in response. "That's understandable.")

Settling in San Francisco where you like the neighborhood and the schools, life seems easier.

"Ninth grade history," you answer when Sarah asks what you teach. "I introduce Romeo & Juliet to kids who are the same age as those characters."

And now, with the niceties out of the way, there's nothing left to talk about but the past.

You've been dreading it.

"I never apologized for what I did," she says.

You nod, inviting her to continue.

"You probably know this by now, but I was the one who called your mom."

Of course you knew it all along, but hearing it is a different thing.

She got her number from your phone when you weren't around. And, unable to get the picture of you and her dad out of her mind, she dialed it one day and explained to your mom what she saw.

"Why?" you ask.

She averts her eyes a brief moment. "Deep down I always knew there was something going on with you and my dad.. the day of my party when I walked in on you, it was a rude awakening. It's one thing to know something is going on, and another thing to witness it. And later, when you left, I realized I'd taken it too far."

Sarah goes quiet and so do you, despite the chatter in the busy restaurant.

You ask, "Did Joel ever find out it was you?"

She nods. "I told him later.. after he started seeing that awful girl you were friends with."

That part of your life, the bubble of jealousy and despair in which you made your home, seems so long ago. "Hailey," you remind her.

"Yeah.. she didn't last very long. Dad broke things off when he caught her stealing from him.. and when that happened I realized he was just better off with you. But.. by then it was too late."

By then you were already apart. The damage had been done.

"Was he angry at you for what you did?"

Sarah shrugs. "It was a silent kind of angry. You know how he is. We avoided each other for weeks until it became impossible. And by then.. you were gone."

You take a moment to reflect on your memories of Joel. "How is he?"

She smiles, as if she knew or even hoped you'd ask about him. "He's good. He's in Jackson now. Wyoming. Tommy's there with his new wife.."

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. "And, uh.. your stepmom?"

She looks blank for a moment. "You mean Tess? No, they divorced a few years ago. She was nice, it just didn't work out."

You don't know whether to feel sorrow or relief at this fact, but for once you decide to be petty and let the relief take over, hoping he went through a fraction of the pain you endured.

Sarah toys with her salmon roll. "I'm sorry," she says, nodding to herself as if giving herself strength to do it. She looks you in the eye and you catch a glimpse of the girl she used to be. "I'm sorry. For starting everything."

So many times you've imagined what it would be like if you hadn't been found out by anyone else. Would you still have stayed in Austin? Would you and Joel have had more time together?

"It's in the past, right?" You manage a smile, happy that this is out in the open. A part of you feels like a weight is lifted. Things may not have happened the way you wanted, but now you can reconcile the things you can't control anymore.

"This is probably the wrong time to say this," Sarah continues, "but I'd like to invite you and Ellie to my wedding this December, in Jackson. You won't have to worry about airfare or hotels. Theo and I will cover your ticket and.. well, everyone's staying at my dad's. He has a huge house in town, enough for close family. I'd really love it if you would come."

"Justin, you're really fucking me over, do you know that?" you try to speak as quietly as you can into the phone while laying out outfits for the Jackson trip. "Ellie's going to be brokenhearted. You told her you'd have her the entire two weeks."

On the other line Justin sighs, the new, younger Mrs. Williams can be heard in the background. "I promised Svetlana first. We really need this time together," he whispers as well, likely not trying to instigate another argument with his wife.

You have some choice words for Svetlana, but are interrupted when Ellie quietly walks into the room, well aware that the discussion is about her. "I'll call you back."

"Let me guess.." Ellie sits on the edge of the bed. "I'm not going with Dad for Christmas.."

There's no point in lying to her. She's a sharp kid. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, kiddo. He and your stepmother are taking an extended honeymoon in Malta," you tell her gently.

"You mean Slutlana?"

"What? Ellie, that's rude. Don't say that." You pause. "Don't say that to her face, at least."

She's quiet, and at times like this you regret that she's essentially living the life you lived at fourteen, always wondering when Dad would come back, if he even wanted to spend time with his own child.

"So.. I'm going with you?"

You nod. "Thank god your probation is over. It'd be nice if you paid Marlene a visit, or at least called her," I said, speaking of the parole officer assigned to Ellie after a particular incident. "We should send her some Tiff's Treats or something, she deserves a gift after putting up with your delinquent self." You playfully toss a tee shirt at her.

"Can I say bye to Riley?" she asks, hope evident in her eyes.

"No," you're adamant on this one thing, as lax as you were before the trespassing situation.

"Mom, my probation's over. I'm not gonna get in trouble just for talking to her."

"I don't care. I'm not going by the judge's rules, I'm going by mine." You pause. "You'll just have to come with me to Wyoming."

Sarah had gone to the trouble of sending a beautifully embossed wedding invitation, done in traditional cream and gold, with photos of the two of them as children, as teens, and one gorgeously done couples photo. Theo's cute, and Sarah seems happy with him.

"Boring," Ellie says in response to the wedding festivities. "Why would anyone want to get married?"

You decide not to give her a response. At her age you didn't understand the fuss about weddings either.

Forgoing Sarah's offer of paying for your flight, you rent a Chevrolet Suburban for the drive over.

"You do realize we'll be driving for over fourteen hours, right?" Ellie says, helping you put the suitcases and bags in the roomy luggage hold.

"Yep. I checked it out on Google Maps."

"What happens if you get tired?"

"We'll drive during the day and find a rest stop or a motel at night," you shrug.

"You know.. I could take over the drive sometimes," she offers.

"Okay, kiddo. Why not?"

She brightens. "Really?"

"Absolutely fucking not." With a smile you open the passenger door and she hops in, grumbling,

Only so much music can suffice a long ride, and somewhere outside of Reno, Ellie busts out a dog-eared copy of a book Justin had given her as a gag won the spelling bee.

"Oh no, Ellie, for god's sake, not the puns," you whine dramatically.

"Yes, the puns," she grins. "How else am I supposed to spend my time on this boring-ass road trip?"

"Brace yourself. We've only been on the road less than four hours."

She groans, slumping forward in her seat, revived shortly when she decides to recite every single pun in that damn book, and when you give her that Mom look, she simply grins and tells you, "That's what you get for turning down a plane ticket."

Three days later you arrive. Jackson Hole is picturesque, especially in winter, as it it was just made to be the snowy backdrop on a postcard or a highlight on Instagram.

You turn down the main thoroughfare of the town, a light dusting of snow already falling from the heavens as you peer out the window, frowning in concentration as you try to familiarize yourself with the location. Ellie's buzzing in your ear like a mosquito, singing along to something on the radio. You turn the volume down. "Quiet down, I can't see."

She nearly bursts at the seam with withheld laughter. "You want me to quiet down... because you can't see?" she teases.

"Ellie!" you groan. "We're already late for lunch with the family."

Promising yourself you'll settle in a hotel after what you hope will be a painless reunification with Sarah and the rest of the Millers, you find your destination and drive up a perfectly paved driveway. Joel's house, a craftsman-style facade done in red brick and accented with carved gable peaks, looks exactly like a house Joel would own.

Parking close enough on the curved driveway without blocking in any other cars, you take a moment to rest, stretching your neck and shoulders.

"Should've let me drive," Ellie says from her seat as you both start to disembark.

There's a smart remark on your lips but when you turn to her you're distracted by a figure at the side of the house.

Someone's chopping wood, splitting logs with precision, though not necessarily speed. He's wearing just a white tee shirt, jeans, boots. You let your eyes linger on his physique. Who is that? you wonder.

As if he can hear your thoughts or sense your presence, the figure turns and wipes the sweat off his brow.

You know him in an instant.

Joel.

Your heart feels like it's going into arrhythmia.

"Come on, Ellie," you hurry her up the walk and to the front steps.

"The bags--"

"Fuck the bags." You press the doorbell nervously, willing Sarah or anyone to open quickly.

"You made it!" Sarah practically mauls you as she greets you, giving both you and Ellie a hug.

You're swept inside where it's nice and cozy, the air scented with pine and gingerbread. Christmas garlands are strung over every doorway, along the staircase railing, the windows, and the fireplace.

"Was my dad out there? I told him he needs to start getting ready. I don't want him coming to the luncheon all sweaty," Sarah says.

"What? No. I didn't see anything.. anyone," you stutter.

"I'm happy you're here, because we're actually going to have lunch at the Tipsy Bison instead. It's Tommy's bar, you probably passed it on the way up here."

"Oh, uh.." you're distracted by Ellie precariously sloshing a winter themed snow globe, the thought of Joel is still spinning around in your sleep-deprived brain, and Sarah is still talking to you like you don't look completely zoned out and anxious.

To make things worse, Joel comes in, carrying most of yours and Ellie's luggage. His white tee sticks to his sweaty skin, his face pink with exertion and dewy with sweat, his hair dark with more gray now than ever, and on his beard too. His eyes, those dark depths you've lost yourself in so many times, peer into yours, and for a moment you forget to breathe.

"You left the trunk open," he murmurs, as if it's a quiet admonition, a secret he doesn't want to tell.

"Oh.. thank you. You didn't have to do that." Your nervous glance at him gives your blushing away because you see his face redden as well.

"Dad, can you believe she has a kid now?" Sarah says excitedly.

There's a jolt of fear when you realize father and daughter are going to be in the same room, and neither of them knows it.

"Uh, Ellie, this is Joel Miller. He's, uh, Sarah's dad, and I used to babysit Sarah.. a long time ago.." Being put on the spot, you falter your words.

"Put 'er there, Joel," Ellie says, holding out her hand for him to shake, which Joel does, the start of a tiny smirk on his lips.

"We all lived in Austin together, with your Aunt Sofia. I mean, we didn't live together but we were neighbors," you babble, feeling even more blush creep up your neck. "Way before you were born, kiddo."

Meanwhile Sarah's eyes dart from Ellie to Joel to you, and back again, slower each time, as if she's piecing the puzzle together. Her eyes linger on Ellie, her expression unreadable before settling on you. You quickly glance away.

"Let me take that from you," you motion to the luggage Joel's carrying.

"Nah, I got it. I'll show ya to y'all's rooms." He hefts the suitcases and bags like they're nothing and heads upstairs. You have no choice but to follow him, sneaking a little glance at how his great his ass looks in his jeans.

"Nice place you got here, Joel," Ellie remarks, eyes skyward, surveying the landing at the top of the stairs.

"Thank you," he says quietly. "Do you always address your elders by their given names?"

"Ellie," you whisper harshly. "Mind your manners."

"Damn, sorry," she mutters back.

"Sorry, Joel. She's--"

"Hey, why do you get to call him Joel?"

"Because I'm an adult," you say under your breath.

"He's older than you. Like, a lot. Like, Grandpa Bob's age."

"Stop it," you say through clenched teeth as Joel clears his throat.

"I can put y'all next door to each other--"

"I call this one!" Ellie claims the first door on the left, grabbing her bags and leaving Joel to lead you a little further down the hall.

"'M afraid this one is right across the hall from mine," he mumbles, leading you inside the comfortably decorated bedroom to set your things down.

"Thank you," you murmur, heart thrumming in your chest. This is the first time you've been alone with him in fifteen years. "You.. have a really beautiful home here, Joel."

He looks around, eyes darting anywhere but yours. "Thank you, that means a lot. Built it myself-- well, with Tommy's help."

"Really?" It's hard to pretend you're not impressed. "Must've been a lot of hard work."

"Yeah, it was. But she's sturdy." Joel gives a sturdy pat to the wall, and you can't help looking at his hand, the way his thick fingers splay out against the dark green wallpaper. Those are fingers that used to find their way inside you, curving just so in order for you to come quickly while his lips and tongue worked in tandem to--

Ellie's voice comes from the other room. "Wow! You guys have cable? Do you have HBO?"

"No Euphoria!" you shout back, scoffing when she quiets again.

There are too many questions on the tip of your tongue, too many things you want to say but not when you're so nervous that your hands are shaking. Staying quiet is easier. More awkward, but easier.

The room fills with unspoken words and missed chances as the two of you shift uneasily, not knowing where to start, not knowing if you should start.

"Didn't know ya had a daughter," he grumbles. "Not 'til Sarah told me."

"Yeah. Ellie's.. precocious."

A ghost of a smile graces Joel's lips as he looks at you and for a moment in time you feel eighteen again.

"How old is she?" he asks.

"She turned fourteen this past spring." God, please don't let him do the math, please don't let him do the math.

Instead he gives a low whistle, wears a teasing smile. "You look good for bein' the mom of a teenager. You still look beauti-- still look the same," he finishes.

You're thirty nine now and in possession of all the complexities that come with your age. There's more gray in your hair than you care to admit (which Ellie tells you not to dye because it "looks cool"), and there are a few more pounds on your person and a few more lines on your face than you're happy with, but his compliment warms you nonetheless.

"You look.. good.. too." Jesus, how did this man age like fine wine? If anything, the past two decades only served to make him hotter. It's unfair.

He takes a step forward, his face determined, lips pursed like he's still calculating his decision. "I.. I wanted to say--"

This time Sarah comes up, dressed for the cold, putting on her gray gloves. "Dad, get in the shower already," she scolds him. "I'm taking her and Ellie to the Tipsy Bison. We'll see you there."

Joel's eyes set on you. "I don't mind takin' them."

You open your mouth to speak, even though you have no idea how to respond. "Honestly, I'll drive me and my daughter. And we can get a room in town."

"No way, Jose." Sarah loops your arm through hers. "You're staying with us and that's final. So, will you let me drive you, or do you want to wait for my dad?"

Waiting for Joel.. it seems you've spent the majority of your youth waiting for him.

"Can we go with Sarah?" Ellie asks, solving the problem for you.

In truth you would have liked a moment to rest, to sleep, to puzzle over the strangeness of the day so far. You're almost a thousand miles from the home you've made after your divorce, under the same roof as the man who changed your life in ways good and bad, harboring a secret from him and his family. Not to mention Ellie's ignorance of her origins.

Sarah herds you and Ellie into the Tipsy Bison, a spacious bar establishment on Main Street, part of the scenery you must have driven by without noticing upon driving into town. Inside is the typical decor you'd expect: neon lights advertising every brand of beer and alcohol you can imagine, taxidermy mounts of bears, bucks, and elk. Pool tables are at the far left, dartboards to the right, a couple of foosball tables as well. There's a stage beyond the pool tables, ready for a band or DJ, a makeshift dance floor in front of it, and colored lights remain still overhead, their brightness dulled and stilled by the daytime.

There's a homey, cozy feeling as you glance around. The bar spreads along the far side beyond a range of tables and booths, boasting a wide variety of booze. Working behind the bar is a face you haven't seen in awhile: Tommy.

He comes out to greet you, his smile and bright and joyful as you've always known him to be, and part of you feels guilty that the last time you were together you'd been drunk, making out next to his truck, after meeting in a bar just like this one.

"Hey you!" He envelops you in a tight hug, and you start to feel better. Bygones are certainly bygones in his case.

"Tommy, it's good to see you again," you smile, pulling away to get a good look at him. "You've hardly aged. What's with you Millers, are you all vampires or something?" You cast a playful look at Sarah, who's bringing her fiance and her son to meet you.

Tommy shrugs, a playful grin on his lips. "You're more than welcome to join our Legion of the Undead," he jokes.

You're introduced to Theo, Sarah's husband-to-be, who's on the quiet side, a contradiction to Sarah who's chattering away about him, and Finn, who's an exact replica of his dad, eyeing you and Ellie with a shy smile.

Ellie manages to find a friend in him as you and the others get to catching up. You're introduced to Maria, Tommy's wife, the roundness of her baby bump just barely showing. She oversees the caterers as they start setting up for lunch. Tommy and Sarah talk about you like you're a part of the family instead of someone who knew them for a summer and changed things forever, even in some small way.

"Sarah tells me this is your place now," you speak to Tommy, who's behind the bar and pouring you a drink.

"Sure is," he says, sliding the drink across the bar to you. "Don't know anyone who orders a gin and tonic in the middle of winter," he says, teasing you.

"I'm eccentric," you smirk, taking a sip of the crisp, slightly bitter drink.

"Should be you behind this bar, Cherry," he winks.

"Oh god, no one's called me that in forever," you groan, doing a quick check on Ellie to find her attempting to play pool with Finn.

"How's business?" you ask him.

"Good, good," he nods. "Just glad to be settin' down some roots, buildin' somethin' for when the baby comes."

"Congratulations," you smile. "You and Maria seem like a good fit."

"Well.. y'know.. can't fuck around forever," he chuckles, then he spots someone at the entrance.

"Hey, brother!" Tommy raises his hand in greeting and you stay still, wishing you could sink down into the ground or better yet, become invisible completely.

The old-fashioned jukebox ends a Fleetwood Mac song and drifts into "Hungry Heart" by Bruce Springsteen starts, the catchy, melancholic combo of piano, drums, bass, guitar and saxophone wafting throughout the bar. You keep your eyes on your drink, willing for all of this to be just a dream, some intrusive thought you've put incredible detail into, prolonging your grief over lost love.

But there he is, a barstool between you, giving you your space while ready to jump up at a moment's notice if you want him closer. Your casual glance gives you away when you stare too long at him, clad in a green flannel shirt, his gray tee peeking beneath. You could swear it's the same flannel shirt you wore at the cabin, in the days when you were younger and carefree, before bad things happened to separate you.

Joel catches your look, lips twitching into a smile as his hands wrap around a glass of whiskey.

"So, what took you away from Boston?" you ask, putting your lips to your drink so you're not tempted to ask too much. It's an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"Lot of things," he mutters, staring into the amber liquid. "But mostly I followed Tommy out here."

"I was in Boston with him for awhile." Tommy shakes his head. "Hated it. I'll never set foot on the East Coast again if I can help it. I came out here, met Maria, started a family."

"And Sarah was already out here, buildin' a life. Just made sense for us all to be together again."

You look at both of them, glad the conversation isn't just between you and Joel. "The house is amazing. Joel told me you both built it."

The look of pride on their faces is endearing.

"We did, and mine too, across the street from his," Tommy adds.

"What happened to the contracting business?"

"We expanded it," Joel answers, a twinkle in his eye though his expression remains serious. "Made a nice chunk of change. Got branches in Oklahoma, Arkansas, even as far as Georgia."

That would explain the six-bedroom house, the fancy week-long wedding rituals that Sarah has joyfully swept you up in, and the catered lunches. The Millers have become quite financially well-off.

You listen to the brothers talk about some of the adventures they've been on, the good and the bad that has passed and ultimately brought them here, with you, once again.

The lunch spread is impressive: Texas style barbecue of ribs, brisket, and chicken; side dishes of beans, potato salad, grilled corn on the cob, macaroni and cheese, and mouthwatering desserts of pumpkin and pecan pies, cheesecake, banana pudding, and peach cobbler.

You haven't realized how hungry you are until you realize you have to remember to force yourself to eat slower, accidentally spilling a little barbecue sauce on your shirt. Embarrassed, you wipe it away, glancing at Ellie and finding her doing the same thing, just shoveling forkfuls of food in her mouth.

"Easy there," Joel's voice booms from across the table. "No one's gonna take it from ya," he playfully chides.

You were so absorbed in your lunch that you didn't realize he was right across from you. "Ellie," you scold her quietly. "Slow down."

"This is slow for me," she answers.

"Mind your mama," Joel says gruffly, his tone is authoritative.

She looks up at him, in annoyance and surprise. "You don't tell me what to do."

"And you don't talk back like that." Joel's voice gets a little more strict.

"Joel, stop," you intercede, your voice just as terse. The chatter around the table has dimmed but it's obvious everyone has their focus on you three.

"The kid obviously needs some fuckin' manners."

You scoff. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

His eyes lock with yours, dark and cold. "I see where she gets it from. I guess that's what happens when a dad ain't around to teach some respect."

"Fuck this," Ellie mutters, pushing back from the table and throwing down her napkin, quick to get up and leave.

Your face is flaming red with both anger and embarrassment as your gaze burns through Joel's. "There's something wrong with you. Seriously," you mutter before getting up to go after her.

Joel goes after you. Sarah goes after Joel.

"Ellie!" you call out, watching her walk off in the direction of the house.

"I'll get her," Sarah volunteers, gently touching your arm. And then you hear her speak to Joel under her breath, something like "You're ruining it," before she hurries up to catch Ellie.

It's you and Joel now.

"Babygirl," he starts, his voice low.

"Babygirl?? Fuck you!"

Joel goes pale, obviously not expecting that. "I deserve that. I deserve for you to hate me."

"Hate you? No, you deserve worse than for me to hate you! How dare you yell at Ellie like that? I never once saw you treat Sarah that way."

"She never acted like that," he huffs.

"Do us both a favor and just stay away from us for the rest of the week. I'll see about getting a motel tonight, just.. fucking leave us alone."

He mutters Christ, and reaches for you, pulls you to the side of the building. "I'm sorry, all right?"

"Yeah? Tell her that." You could easily leave. He's not restraining you, but you stay. "Is that all you have to apologize for?"

He looks guilty. "No, of course not. I've been trying to talk to you since you got here--"

"Fifteen goddamn years and I don't hear anything from you? And now you.. what, you expect me to fall into your arms like I'm a stupid fucking teenager again? Go to hell! Nothing is that simple anymore!"

You hadn't meant for all your rage to come spilling out, it was just supposed to be about Ellie, but now that you're face to face with him, you can't help wanting to rage at him. Joel backs away from you, his eyes on the ground, hands on his hips, jaw set.

"Longer than that, actually," you softly correct yourself. "San Antonio.. you fucking left me. On my birthday."

He steps forward, not ready to back down. "I went to jail for you. On my birthday."

"I didn't ask you to do that! I didn't ask for anything but for you to love me! And you stopped!"

"No, I didn't," he whispers, arms hanging at his side even though they itch to reach out for you, hold you, make it better again.

"Don't say that," you warn him, backing away. "Don't insult my intelligence, Joel. You don't know what I went through after you left me. My heart was broken for years!"

"You were just a kid. I.. I thought I was doin' right by lettin' you go."

"I wasn't better because of you breaking up with me. I got worse! So much worse!" You don't dwell a lot on the past, specifically the college years that are now mostly a blur of hookups and hangovers, but now it all comes rushing back. Joel was your safety net and he took all that away from you once you started to freefall.

"Bullshit. You got married," he says bitterly.

"I did that so I could feel normal again. I tried to save myself. But it didn't matter in the end because he didn't love me either. Though I have to say, my divorce hurt a hell of a lot less than your abandonment."

Joel starts to look his age. The lines in his face deepen with worry and regret as he absorbs your words, mulling over everything that has happened. "I'm sorry--"

"Besides, you got married too! So please don't play like you're such a saint. You hardly look the part." Your anger has warmed you, given some spice to your blood so that you don't even feel the cold anymore. You roll your sleeves to your elbows, fists curled, adrenaline pumping as you finally tell him everything that's been locked away inside your heart.

"I don't accept your apology," you grunt, adding, "And don't ever yell at our daughter like that ever again!" You storm off, wishing you'd brought your jacket but it would mean having to walk past Joel, back into the restaurant and out again, and you're already walking away. It seems one of you is always walking away from the other.

It's snowing again when you find Sarah and Ellie, further down in front of a storefront, steaming cups of hot chocolate in their hands. Both are smiling, chatting, seemingly getting along. You know you should reprimand Ellie, tell her to apologize to Joel, but how can you be a hypocrite that way when you won't even talk to him yourself? All you can think about is leaving, going straight to the motel and picking up your things at Joel's later.

Sarah talks you into staying, warning of bad weather coming in soon. She apologizes for Joel, and you apologize for airing your grievances so publicly.

"Just don't do it at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow," she smirks. "Then I'll have to leave your ass out in the snow."

That evening you and Ellie keep to your rooms. You use your phone for distraction when your attention span keeps drifting from your novel, but even technology isn't the answer. There's only so much Merge Mansion you can play, and not even True Detective can hold your attention for long. You decide to rewatch Narcos (for the plot, you tell yourself) when Ellie knocks on your door.

"What's up, kiddo?" You press pause and scoot over on the bed, offering her to get comfy next to you.

"Have you seen the news?"

You're on Do Not Disturb and haven't gotten any of your usual notifications.

"There's a blizzard coming tonight. Sarah says sometimes the main roads get snowed in and we won't be able to get out."

Oh Sarah Miller, the purveyor of bad news. "She told me something like that. How long do they expect conditions to last?" You're already checking your phone.

"Could be days, maybe even up to a week," Ellie shrugs.

"Great," you mutter. "So we're stuck here even after the wedding?" It's the day after tomorrow.

"Please don't make us go to the motel. Sarah's really cool and really nice. And I even like Theo and Finn.. even Joel isn't so bad so long as he stops talking to me like a dad."

That night, as the blizzard blows in, turning everything outside completely white, Joel tosses in his sleep in his room across the hall from yours. It's not the howling winds keeping him awake; he's lived here long enough to get used to such natural disasters.

There's something you said to him, earlier outside the bar. It was an explosive moment, with words exchanged like bullets. But in the midst of it all he took away that one sentence: don't ever yell at our daughter like that ever again.

Our daughter?

dividers by @saradika 👑

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accidentally outing my fiance?

I (27F) am engaged to a 24M guy. He is trans, but he doesn't identify as trans anymore - he's post-everything, passes 100%, lives stealth/as a cis man, and no one who didn't know him pre-transition knows him as anything but a cis man. I know keeping that up is very important to him, we've had a lot of conversations about how happy he is just being seen as cis and being able to pass. I know getting outed and 'found out' is also a big worry of his, for example for our upcoming wedding he's rushing around trying to make it clear to his family that they shouldn't mention him being trans or refer to him as she/her at our wedding because he has so many friends coming who don't know he's trans. It's not that he doesn't trust them or he's ashamed of being trans or anything, he's very supportive of his trans friends, but he just doesn't publicly live as trans.

We're in a big Discord server of friends that have been quite close for about a year now, enough that we've met multiple of them in person and two of them are going to be in his wedding party as sort of 'best man' equivalents (we're not really sticking to bridesmaid best man stuff just our mixed gender friends). He has kept his Facebook very private for as long as I've known him, the only people on there are IRL friends and family because he has in the past posted trans stuff on there, like transition updates, it still has old pictures of him pre-T or in early transition, etc. I knew he didn't want this found. He also hadn't told any of this group aside from the people he was especially close with and had invited to the wedding his surname and location in case they looked him up and found something.

People in the server were sharing their Facebook profiles and I shared mine so people could add me. My fiance messaged me right after pointing out that me sharing mine would dox him as I had him in my relationship status and friends list, but I unfortunately didn't see this message for a while as I was distracted and doing other things. By the time I saw, everyone in the group had already clicked and gone through my profile and found his.

He tried to go through and speed-delete everything he could find that was public that mentioned him being trans or showed him pre-transition, any comments from family referring to it, etc but pictures that were set to friends only were still popping up in previews on the side and some of his family have public profiles that show cover images with him pre-T and things like that.

Our friends were making jokes about finally knowing his surname, going through his whole account down to the time it was first made back in 2018, commenting on old statuses of his, so they definitely saw his profile and went through all of it. He was panicking because he had no way of knowing if they'd seen that he's trans or not and got super upset and freaked out about the possibility, and he couldn't ask without outing himself or making them suspicious.

I apologized and deleted the link but obviously by then it was too late.

I do think it's not a huge deal as much as he thinks because I know our friends would be supportive and wouldn't think of him differently, but I know it was still important to him. I'm not sure they did see because some of our friends are the type to have just blurted out "You're trans?!" in the server without thinking about it (not because they're malicious or judging it, but some of them aren't as online and don't really know how to talk about it sensitively if that makes sense) and they didn't say anything. However he thinks they did because they were talking about statuses older than the ones he managed to get to deleting in time.

Like I said i did apologize but I feel like he's still upset with me for not thinking before sending my profile. On top of that I have kind of a habit of doing things impulsively and without thinking (I have bpd and bipolar) and not always taking into account how it will affect him or what consequences it will have,which I've been working on for years but I worry this is just adding to that which I know already wears on him.

What are these acronyms?

[suuuupernovaaa]

Accident

Timothee accidentally posts a picture of you, blowing your cover.

The panic sets in like ice flowing through your veins. A tingling at your fingertips shoots straight into your heart. Your eyes are wide, your palms are sweaty. It takes you a few seconds to open up FaceTime and dial his number.

He answers right away.

“Timothee, what did you do?” you ask, your voice low in case he isn’t alone. Your boyfriend is never alone.

The smile he had upon answering fades into something dark. “What?” he asks.

“Instagram,” you reply. “Look at your instagram story.”

When he disappears, you do too, going back to the story. It’s a picture of you perched on a stone wall, looking down the side of a mountain Timothee and you had just hiked. You hadn’t even known he’d just taken it. Your hair was stuck to your neck with sweat, and only part of your face is visible over your shoulder, as you turn to look at him.

His hand is on your shoulder, gripping tightly, possessively, and a hint of a smile plays at the half of your face that’s visible.

You’re wearing one of his t-shirts, an old, plain black one, and the sunset ahead of you makes the picture look like art.

Maybe no one will assume, or wonder. Timothee isn’t even really in it. Just hand.

“Shit, Y/N,” he says, and you swipe back to FaceTime. “Should I delete it?”

“Um… no. Well, maybe. I think people will talk more if you delete it. Maybe just leave it?”

It’s not like he tagged you. You’re not in his following list, because no one is. You’re a total unknown.

“Okay,” he says, the panic in his voice subsiding. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It was an accident. And you can’t hide me forever.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re hiding you. I’m protecting you.”

A soft smile crosses your lips. “I know.”

He winks. “I gotta go, but I’ll have management keep an eye on things online. Call me after work?”

You nod and he blows you a kiss before hanging up.

—

Boy, were you wrong. You’ve been wrong about some things in your life, but never something this big.

They’ve found your instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn within two hours. You’re getting dozens of requests by the minute, and you’ve never been more grateful to have your socials private before.

The workday passes in a blur of buzzing on your phone. Most of it is follow requests on instagram, but the rest is your friends and family sending you articles about Timothee Chalamet’s ‘mystery girl revealed’.

Timothee Chalamet & the Lawyer from NYC

Timothee Chalamet’s Secret Lover

Timmy’s girlfriend: we talked to her childhood best friend!

It’s endless and you start requesting they stop sending all the nonsense your way. Your mom calls to ask if you’re okay, and your actual best friend reminds you that you knew this day would come, and she’s here for you.

The comments on his latest instagram post are hard to look away from.

user he’s dating that sweaty beast?

user she looks happy!

user who the hell is she???

user FAT GIRLFRIEDN??

reply to user fuck off with your misspelled fatphobia

Eventually, you put your phone on DND to finish your day. The subway ride home is uneventful, and as soon as you set foot in your modest apartment, you call Timothee.

“Well,” he says as an answer, “now I might have to say sorry.”

Despite the stress of the day, you have to laugh. “Maybe. But, this was going to happen anyway. Though one article called me a ‘social climbing hussy’ and I didn’t love that.”

You throw your bag onto the kitchen table and put your boyfriend on speaker phone so you can find something to order for dinner. This day calls for Thai, or maybe Indian.

“Don’t read that shit, Y/N,” he huffs. “None of it matters. I’m like, really sorry people are going to bother you now. But I’m not sorry that everyone is going to find out how in love and happy I am.”

Your cheeks heat, even though he can’t see you. It hasn’t even been a year, but Timothee is already the most special and wonderful thing in your life, and it’s no wonder when he says things like that.

“I wish you were here,” you sigh.

“Me too. Only a few more days.”

—

You stashed your phone in your room to charge, and to avoid, and turned on the TV. Sitting cross-legged in front of your coffee table in your most comfortable pajamas, you’re about to dig in to the most delicious spread of Indian cuisine when the door buzzes.

Could they have found your address?

You get up and press the speaker. “Let me in! You’re not answering your phone!”

Your heart skips a beat and you’re unable to even respond as you hit the button that unlocks the front door. You stand frozen in shock until three loud knocks sound at the door.

Once it’s open, there he stands, and he’s not empty handed. He’s got what looks to be two dozen beautifully arranged roses along with a giant bag full of what you assume is chocolate and candy.

You grab him by the collar and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. It’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and the scent of him erases every bad thing that’s happened in the past 12 hours.

It’s worth it, your mind whispers.

He sets the flowers and gifts down on the kitchen counter. “I did something, and I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but let me explain,” he says, a wincing smile on his lips.

You bring his face to yours for a quick kiss. “I don’t care. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He takes out his phone and hands it to you. It’s unlocked already, and instagram is open.

He’s made a new post, and your heart flutters.

It’s a picture from a few months ago, taken at a friend’s house. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, and Timothee stands between your legs, both of you laughing, his hands in your hair and yours on his hips. You hadn’t even known your friend had taken it at the time, but it’s been his phone background ever since, he loves it so much.

The caption is simple. “Happy.”

Your reaction surprises you as tears gather in your eyes. “They’re going to really come after me now.”

“I know. And I am sorry. But, Y/N, I know privacy is important to us both… but sometimes, I just want to talk about how happy I am. I think we can find a balance.”

He wipes a tear from your eye.

“I’m proud to be yours, Timothee,” you reply, and his smile stretches ear to ear. “Really, really proud. I love you. I just want to be careful, okay?”

He kisses your nose, then each cheek, and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this, Y/N,” he whispers, and you squeeze him tight.

You’ll navigate this together.

[steviewashere]

I know that I've technically already talked about this when the conversation began arising surrounding Chappell Roan's boundaries—alongside other celebrities' boundaries when they're not making/performing art—but I just need to fucking get this out of my system:

"Joseph Quinn rare picture" "Joe Keery rare picture" "other celebrity name placeholder rare picture"

THEY'RE NOT RARE PICTURES FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

You deliberately went out of your way to find these celebrities' families on social media, stalked their pages, found the photos you wanted, and then reposted onto other social media accounts that are outside of the comfort zone of those celebrities' families. You didn't find a rare picture. You found a photo of Joseph Quinn when he was twelve, hanging out with his schoolmates on like his mother's Facebook page and claiming it as rare, when it is indeed not.

And you may be like, but Stevie, how do you know it's from a Facebook page?

Are you really going to look me in the eyes, in front of my fucking salad, and tell me that Joseph Quinn or Joe Keery or some other celebrity went out of their way to scour through their pre-fame photo albums and posted them online for the whole world to see? Are you really going to look me in the eyes and tell me a picture that does not show up on these celebrities' own social media pages—(Quinn's Instagram or the Djotime Instagram or what the fuck ever)—are some rare, dime a dozen photos from like 2013 on the Wayback Machine or something?

No, you aren't. You aren't going to just outwardly confess to me that you found these by breaking boundaries. Because some people are fucking weirdos who want to omit where they got these pictures.

I think of it as this, too (and not to make it all trauma dumping bullshit or whatever), but like—

Both of my parents are deceased. If I, somehow, rose to fame later in my life—let's say I follow through with my dream of becoming a graphic novel author/illustrator—and some pictures of me from my 8th grade dance just popped up one day on Pinterest, I would know immediately that somebody went scouring through my mom's Facebook page. It would be so fucking weird to me that somebody went out of their way to deliberately research who my mother was, found her Facebook profile, bypassed all the in memoriam posts, and downloaded a photo of me when I was fucking thirteen to claim as a "rare" photo.

That should be a breech of privacy, right? That's what I would view it as. I'd fucking delete all my social media pages and tell you all to stay the fuck away from me. What I share on my pages is what I want to share, I'm not going to go around and show off my middle school photos for the entire world to see—those are for my friends and family who I share in the privacy of my life.

How is this not the same for celebrities? How is it suddenly different to do this to J.Q. or somebody else? Those aren't pictures he's openly shared, and I know that just by scrolling on his Instagram page, the only social media page he has, mind you.

Stop bypassing boundaries, you fucking weirdos. It's online harassment and stalking. And it makes you look slimy and disgusting. And I wish you the worse if you disagree.

[dietmountaindewbae]

hiii i LOVE ur fics omg pls never stop writing,

could you maybe do something You-ish (the TV show "You") (idk if you've seen it but it's amazing) something stalker-ish? where alex is joe and reader is his, soon to be, gf (cuz he makes her) (any alex era) 💌

hope ur well🤍💋

xxiii. obsession

alex turner x reader

word count: 12626

summary: We ran into each other by chance or by fate, your clumsiness started something for me, something for us, and it's my duty to find out who you are. (the car! era) This story is written on Alex's narrative.

warnings: obsessions & rough s*x

song recommendation: tear you apart by she wants revenge

───── ୨୧ ─────

Ever since that day outside of a party, when you fell into my arms, drunk and loud, I had never felt so high, I had felt something the moment you smiled at me and flushed from the embarrassment, your eyes watery from the cold, your lips red full of blood, alcohol running fast through your veins, my heart falling from my mouth, you pulled away and hugged yourself, too embarrassed from what had happened, you thought it was too much booze, I thought it was meant to be, right place and right time. You just said "Sorry," I helped you to get back on your feet, our hands lightly graze and we lock in a stare, but then your mates dragged you across the street, they had dragged you away from me, like parents and their out-of-control kid, you waved goodbye at me, and all I could do was smile and wave goodbye to you, I was a fool, I didn't know what to say, it was one of those 'what would have happened?' moments when I ask myself, 'what if I had just said "It's ok, don't worry, love"' Icould vividly picture us walking down the street, going for some food because we were pissed, I would've kissed you, and asked for your number, then we could be dating, holding hands in the street, laughing at everything, hanging out with your stupid mates, if they hadn't been there and taken you away from me, I probably wouldn't have found meself, hiding behind the threes in the middle of a cold winter in LA, hoping to be in the warmth of your arms than out in the cold darkness of the street. I can't help to wonder if you ever think of me.

Your name and your last name stayed in a constant loop on my mind, one of your mates, the one with the light brown hair had screamed it as she found you falling into my arms, it would be stupid if I didn't look for you, right? You're gorgeous, you were nice and interesting, It would be weird if I didn't try to find your social media. It was easy to find you, I hate to admit how easy it is to find everything online these days, I found your Instagram and Facebook with just a few clicks on my computer, it's too easy it makes me laugh.

I scrolled through every single one of your posts on Facebook, you had a few, not many, everything was mainly about your little family trips and your sister's child, I made a note that you might just have Facebook out of pressure from your mother and sister since they always tag you in memes or those annoying TED Talk videos and you never answer, I found your mother's page, widowed, 49 years old, looks 45, she gave you her face, older sister, found her page too, married with a toddler, awfully bitter since she has to post where she is at all times, even if her child had taken a massive shit and had the looks of a giant worm, she would've posted it, I left the best for last. Your Instagram, no one these days uses Facebook.

Your Instagram was private but empty with not a single sight of you... so it's no use, what about your friends?... Hello you... I could hold on to these group pictures Larissa posted, thank you internet! Your friend group was small but they knew how to get around, only 4 people, two girls called Julie and Larissa, and Julie's boyfriend Luca, 5 if you counted me in, soon, luckily for me, Julie had an empty page, barely any pictures, just her and Luca but her profile was public but that lead me to find your other friend, Larissa had pictures of her face and some of you and Julie at pubs, very self-centered I suppose, Luca only posted about being a gym addict. I took a more personal approach, your sister Nina, who loves you very much, she had plenty of pictures of you. Thanksgiving was at your house, you looked gorgeous in those pictures, you wore a white dress with red flowers and black platforms, your long hair in beautiful waves, if any pervert were to see it, you would be such an easy victim with that long hair, but you're not, you're not so easy to hunt down in the dark. There was a picture of you and your sister's baby boy, sitting next to the three by a bay window, great. I took note of the stores, houses, and historical buildings nearby and then reality hit me as I took a cab on the way to your house.

Come on Alex, what are you doing? You look like a creep with your cap and coat in the middle of the night, It's only just a crush it'll go away, just like all the others. But you see? That's the problem with you, you're not, this is dangerous but I'll take my chances for you, I'm not obsessed with you, like I said, it's only just a crush. I hide behind some trees in front of your house on the other side of the street, and I contemplate this wonderful girl in her bedroom, going round and round with a book in her hands. 

At night me head couldn't stop spinning, making all of these scenarios, about a girl who meets a stranger, and they fall madly in love in just a split second. I didn't need more, I could hold on to your light vanilla perfume and the softness of your hair, your lips, your collarbone, your shoulder, the curve of your breasts in the blouse you wore that night, I want to hold you close and kiss you hard.

For next few days I followed you around, I made you a time table, every morning at 5:30 you went for a run, and you finished off at home some with exercises you found on YouTube, you were visibly struggling, and that made me laugh but I felt bad for doing so, you worked hard, you finished around 6:30, you liked walking like a true new yorker, in your most sober looks, sometimes in a dress with a blue navy sweater on top of dresses , jeans, and a silky shirt, winter or no winter, you loved wearing tank tops, loved exposing even just a little bit of your body, even in the coldest days, your legs, your beautiful shoulders, a v-neck, mini skirts, checkered shorts or pants, and sexy patterned tights with colors like pastel blue, and even red to spice up your all black outfits, and you always wore that luscious and berry coloured lipstick on your lips, heels, motorcycle boots, ballerina flats, dresses, chunky sweaters, straight leg vintage jeans, coats, heels, shoulder bags, mini bags, but what a must was, something that never came off of you, your golden necklace, you're an everything girl, you dressed for the day, it told you exactly what to wear, even if you broke your pattern, you mostly dressed like Jane Birkin, jeans, white shirt, chunky purse, but you love leather, leather belts, leather jackets. Then you walk to your favorite café, and your drink depends on how tired you feel, black coffee for busy days or cappuccinos for the days you don't feel in a rush, then you take the metro, read a book and sip on your coffee while listening to your music, you are in college by 7:30, have 30 minutes to spare, but you're wise, and you use them organize yourself while you ease up with some music, I've never seen a longer playlist to be honest, there's a bit of everything there, you write your things in a red wine journal, I wonder what's in those little pink notes you stick on your notebook.

I made sure you got safely to your workplace after school at 4:00 pm, a bakery, you love talking to the people at the register as they ask you for your favorite dessert, and you always choose the same, tiramisu, rich coffee with some liquor, mascarpone carefully enveloped with delicious whipping cream, and a touch of cocoa sifted all over the tiramisu, and you juggle back and forward with doing school work, help in the kitchen, serve the costumers with a bright and friendly smile, you're tired and they don't pay you enough. And when you get home a 10 pm, you don't go to sleep, you stay up until you're finished but you never truly are, no matter how late or early, you can't sleep, why is that beautiful? Aren't your sheets made of the softest cotton? But I can see, that you are compromised to live in a city that never sleeps, you get ready for your next job at your nearest live jazz pub as a bartender, I'm very familiar with that type of job, you serve the customers with a kind smile as the music rocks you, you talk to other girls, and the artists flirt with you from time to time but you didn't submit, you knew better than that, you got paid well, the tips that fell on your back pocket from the nasty old men helped you to afford your apartment, barely making it to the next cut but you made it.

And every restless night when your mind couldn't stop thinking you went out to the nearest pub, and you made new friends, some men flirted with you until sadly, one night I had to watch you leave with one of them, he conquered your body before me, I wonder if you ever think of me in that way, a sexy stranger, that clouded your mind with ideas until you finally gave in. He did what he wanted to do, and when he left, you were still flushed and needy, that night I watched you hump your pillow with angst to get yourself off, a gorgeous picture to see, one that was engraved in my brain since then.

Every night when I crashed in my bed, and I prayed for this to go away but it continued to grow, I prayed for you to get out of me head, but your face, your smile, every curve of your body lived in me head, and if I don't something about it, you'll hunt me down forever. 

I walked down the street on a Saturday night, It's been a week since we bumped into each other, discreetly searching for you with my eyes, until, I found you, in your West Village, street-level, white, vintage but modern apartment that might be hard for you to afford but you keep on paying it because the creepy landlord has a massive crush on you, he cannot fool me, I know what it's like.

You live in such a melancholic part of New York and also warm, old, and historic, it holds so many stories, and memories that's why it reminds you of home, like the baby pictures your mom posts, your living area illuminated with yellow lights from you mid-century lamps, like the sky in a beautiful afternoon, laying in your sette in a white tank top and panties, finally, you get to relax and enjoy yourself.

I could see the outline of your body through your thin linen white curtains, you were wearing vintage headphones connected to your record player, reading a book, Bukowski's 'Love Is A Dog From Hell' Yes, it must certainly is. Then suddenly you stood up, I'm certain you're barefoot, through a crack in the curtain I can see you're approaching the window, I could see the left side of your face, soft, round, cute little pointy nose, and your eyes, a sparkle in them as you stare into the sky, pink pouty lips, and a little beauty spot in your cheek, your phone in the ear, moving your lips with a smile as if you were talking to the person in the other line in real life. You nodded a couple of times and then you hung up, I saw the outline of your body, running towards your bedroom, what's got you in such a hurry? But before you forget, you turn up the music so loud the whole neighborhood can hear it, you choose something classic 'Bang Bang' by Nancy Sinatra, shoot me down, your linen curtain reflecting the light, and you take out your top in one move tossing it away, the outline of your naked beautiful body stretching had made me think so many things to do with it in less than a second, you pick your clothes with care, hanging them in front of your mirror, posing with the clothes on top of your body.

You sit somewhere in your room, and I can hardly see you, something about your magnetism draws me to you, so I stupidly cross the street and find shelter behind a three, but I get even more stupid as I get to see you doing your makeup in the mirror, your phone rings and your face goes blank, you answer and I see how your expressions change like the way flowers rot, gradually you get darker and darker, until... you break into tears putting an end to the call, and you push your phone away, you look into the mirror, and I see a tear roll down your cheek slowly, your face scrunched, and your cheeks reddened, you look at yourself in the mirror, all I can see is hate and rage, and then, you're cold as ice, not another tear rolls down your cheeks, you clean them up with a soft cotton pad and continue to apply makeup on your face, I wonder who has made you cry? even if it was just one small insignificant tear, whoever that was...they still made you cry.

Before you leave, you check yourself one last time, the dress you choose to wear was way better than the typical night outfits women wear these days, less ostentatious, you like dressing feminine, classic but modern, but not so pretty that you look like a little girl, you were more than pretty, you were hot, steaming, boiling, no man would approach you like that, and that was the sad truth for you but good news for both of us, not as any man would approach you, they had to have big balls to do so, baby doll dress, platforms, and a racer jacket, cute, stylish, edge, as always, you were sharp as a blade to the skin. Your hair is straight and it looks longer than when it's on your natural waves, and the wind blows perfectly on it, but that velvet red lipstick on your mouth might be the death of me.

You went outside, took a cab, and went out, I waved my arm, and soon enough a cab passed by.

"Where to?" The man said.

"Follow that cab in front of you," He took off, it was sad, drivers these days don't even care for men like this, the ones that just order to do something like that, there were a lot of crazy people here, and I had to protect you from them.

I see you being dropped off at a crowded pub, I hand a good amount of money to the man, and he drives off, I see you go inside, and you find your mates, I sit across from you, not too close so that you can see me but, but not so far so I don't hear you. You hug each one of them and you sit in the booth next to Julie.

"What's the occasion?" You said, next thing, Julie turns and shows a sparkling diamond on her finger, "Luke, Luke, Luke!" You teased her in awe, you held her hand carefully, examining it up close to the ring, "It's stunning" You said with a kind smile, it was amazing how I wished to be that hand, the one you caressed with care.

"I wanna do something big for the bachelorette, and I don't know where to start, I mean..." It must be hard for you, everyone around you is married or has a serious more than the 2-year relationship you can't hold on to, everyone has a kid now, everyone turns 27 and suddenly they already have a house, a child, and a loving husband, I wouldn't be like that ever, things won't be like that with me, I promise, we can take it as slow and calm as you want, or maybe go fast, I can go both ways, I just have to wait for the moment I may finally introduce myself to you, maybe by tomorrow when you go out but it must be soon before you forget about that last Saturday night, and it looks like you are in the process of, you are emptying those glasses of wine like coke in a hot summer day.

"Ease up with the wine," Larissa says, "You're gonna end up embarrassing yourself like the last time, you always have to pull a seen," Here we go.

"What fuckin' scene?" You spit back, "I was tired and I had been wearing high heels for more than 2 hours, yes, I was drunk but it was a genuine accident" You were annoyed, why could no one understand that? Accidents happen, and it must be hard for you to stand that pain, if I had stayed over, I would've given you a lovely massage, and treated you the way you're supposed to, I'm starting to be not very fond of Larissa.

"Uhu, yeah, but do you remember the last time you went to that party and got so drunk you "accidentally" confused a cigarette with marihuana and cried in the street like a baby?" Larissa, you just had to make it worse, didn't you?

"Fuck off, I can do whatever the fuck I want, if you don't want to believe me that's fine, oh!... and a scene, Larissa, a scene is what you pull when you yell at everyone as if you were the fucking owner of everything and everyone" You took your purse and rushed out, I see that Julie went out to get you, so I discreetly follow her, and find you waving your arm for a cab.

"Wait, don't go," Julie says with a caring tone, "I know you're not ok, you can't lie to me, you know how Lari is..."

"But why does she have to be a fuckin' news flasher of everything I do, embarrassing me in front of everyone, making me look like I'm not fun to be around," Julie tried to hug you but you wouldn't let her near.

"You say some scary shit while you're drunk, that's the only thing I'm going to agree on, but I can see you're not ok," Intuitive, honest, and kind, good choice for a friend.

"He called me" Julie sighs, who is he? This is the prize of being old fashioned, just like me, that's another thing I like about you, you have a life, even if you spend time alone, you go out in the world instead of taking a picture of it and expose your life, you have a little life, but it's yours and only yours.

"What did he want?" You shrugged and searched for something in your leather purse, taking a cigarette, and desperately flicking the lighter on.

"He just asked how I was, while he's off... modeling and possibly fucking two to three girls every single night, and he asks me how I am, drunk and high, he's so... he's-" To find the right words to describe that wanker only made me think about the damage he must have done to you, come on, spill the name, "That's not really everything, he's just-"

"Part of everything" Julie answered back, hugging you close to her, a caring hug, sweet, I could take a picture of it, I'm glad there is Julie for you, "Go home, and text me when you get there," She holds her arm up, taking a cab for you and sending you back home, I did the same thing as before, and the man did as he was told. But the problem was, you didn't go home, you went to a nearby liquor store and bought more wine for yourself, you drank it straight from the bag and you plugged in your wired earphones to your phone, kicking your feet and humming to the music 'New Dawn Fades' by Joy Division, a sad post-punk classic, you should be glad I am here to be on the look for you as you waddle in the steers, an easy target, if anyone dared to do anything to you, well, you must be glad there is me.

You walked a few blocks to your house, but you didn't go in, you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, so you sat by the staircase, defeated since you were desperately looking for your keys in your little purse, and you stared into the empty dark street, and you cried, you kept crying so hard it makes me feel the need to go and help you, I didn't really think about what I was doing, you were desperate, and I was afraid of letting you stay outside like that, then you stood up, unpredictable as always, I see you taking a fast pace. What are you thinking about? Did you forget something? You walk a few blocks until you stay still on a crowded street, the cars on that street go by faster, and you stare into the void as the red lights flash before you in straight lines, your cheeks stained with black tears, the darkness takes you in like one of their children, your head wrapped up in horrible ideas, so dark they blind your eyes, so atrocious your mind can only find one way to make you see the light at the end, you can't find peace, your body is tired, your eyebags are heavy, and you don't feel like yourself, you've lost control and you murmur something over and over again under your breath like some sort of sick prayer...

"A loaded gun won't set you free"

I see you take a step forward, now standing on the pavement, my heart drops to my stomach, and I run to get you, the wind blowing my cap away, what are you doing? why are you doing this? I can fix it, I can fix you, I can help you, I'll make it all disappear, before you take another step, the bus coming your way was out to get you, and you closed your eyes, but I won't let you go like that, my hand grasps your shoulder tightly, and I pull you to my arms, you're cold, shivering, your wired earphones fall from your head and get tangled in your hair.

"Are you alright?" Your face is wet with tears, and you look at me with big eyes, flushed again from the embarrassment, but that sparkle, that little fucking sparkle just makes me so mad, I'd kill for you to see me like that over and over, your little nose red, your eyelids a bit puffy.

You quickly wipe your tears, "Erm..." You sniffed, and you stared into my face with a cute and educated smile, "No... I mean, yes... sorry, I'm just... I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry," You scan my face, the familiarity of it makes a grin spread on your lips, "If I sound like a creep please stop me, but, I think I know you" Your lips curl into a bigger smile, as you realize who I am, I am that man, I am the man who will always be there for you, "You're that guy I fell into the other day" I pretend as if am amazed over who small the world is.

"Hey you," You said to me with a smile.

"Hello you" We both look to our feet, and I feel some warmth creeping up me cheeks, "We gotta stop meetin' like this" I see you flush, looking at me through your lashes, you slowly bite your bottom lip as you brush your hair out of the way, flirty. You struggle to untangle your earphones from your hair, I take a step forward and gently untangle them.

"You just had to come and rescue me again huh? Who are you? Superman?" I hear your voice, and your laughter like a melody I would love to hear over and over again, gentle, a little deep, but beautiful, I can see that behind all of that dark makeup and those dark looks, you're a sweet but lost little girl.

"I'm Batman" You're laughing and blushing at my jokes, that means that you like me.

"I like your accent batman" That's nice to hear, some people say that it sounds too rough and I sound like a scumbag, but I'm glad your ears enjoy the sound of it.

"Thanks, love" You take a step forward, your eyes looking at mine and then at my lips, it's hard to breathe right now.

"What are you doin' so late, huh? Are you wearing your costume?" You tease me, and we begin to walk together, to nowhere, just where we want this conversation to take us.

"Sort of, and you?" You shrugged, what a hard night you had. I'm worried about you, you didn't need to apologize for "not thinking", we kept walking until the smell of food dilated our nose trails.

"Just went for some drinks with a couple of friends nothing too exciting... do you mind if we stop for some food?" My fantasies had become real, you wanted to get some street pizza, the nice old man smiling at you tenderly, he's nice, not creepy, just a nice man, you ask for two slices of pepperoni with Italian sausage and the man is nice enough to give you the most fresh and warm slices of pizza, "Here, it's on me... it's the least I can do"

"Thank you" You chuckled and waved it off, gosh I wish I could just freeze this moment forever.

"I should be thanking you..." You wait to hear my name, and I stay silent contemplating this moment for a second, this is how it starts.

"Alex" You shake hands with me as your tongue, teeth, and lips articulate your name, you have a lovely name, and I'm crazy about you, "Charmed" I hold my gaze at you as you slowly let go of me hand.

"So, what were your plans for the night before I had completely crashed them" Funny, dark jokes, sarcasm, you're really smart but you don't like showing it off, you make me laugh so much, it's clear we have the same humor, that's another reason as to why you're perfect for me and I am for you.

"Um... I thought about going out somewhere, anywhere, sometimes I can't sleep... I'm afraid of losing life by being a slave of me work, me house, everythin' but I found something exciting" You smile to yourself, and you smile at me, you see? We're perfect.

"I do that sometimes... whenever I can't sleep, I go to a bar and you know... try to meet new people, I hate having to post about it on social media though, everyone has their screens glued to their faces, and I just don't like that, I don't wanna breathe my phone, I wanna breathe air" If I were you I would write a whole book about this, I love that you think just like that, we can be people for once, and run around the world and make it ours, "What do you do for a living?"

"Music producer" You smiled at me, "And I have the gift of guessing people's favorite artists,"

"Really? What are mine's?" I have the chance to look at you confidently, I see you like that, I can see how fast your heart is going, how you try to calm it with your breathing, your chest rising and falling fast, as I stare into your eyes intensely making little goosebumps crawl like spiders, I hope you know how much I like you.

"Nancy, Lana... and summat dark like Joy Division Unknown Pleasures" You clap and you're amazed at how exact I am, I can smell it on you.

"Exactly, I love them," You began to hum their songs, dancing on the street, I follow your lead, as you spin, "I was listening to it a few moments ago" You turn dark again, I'm not going to let you, I immediately regret ever saying that, I don't know what that bloody song did to you, but you were listening to it before you attempted to get crashed.

"I'm glad I was there" Sweeten up, tell me what's wrong, I'm here for you.

"Yeah... me too, I wasn't thinking straight..." You clean your throat, you cross your arms, and furrow you're eyebrows, it makes you angry to say it, makes you sad, makes you frustrated, and even so since you watch me patiently waiting for you to tell me what happened to you, I didn't have to say it, you already knew "I don't think you would like to hear about my problems Alex, they're meaningless"

"Nothin' is meaningless just like us meeting tonight perhaps..." Shite, I take it back, I can see your face looking at me weirdly, but you smiled, you're fascinated? Did you like that?

"You're right," You warm up to me, I can see it in your body, I can see it in your face, I've given you no reason to not trust me, I'm harmless, I told you you can trust me, "But I want a ciggy, if you don't mind" You lean against a brick wall, your leg supporting your weight, I'm in love with your smooth and shiny legs, what's your secret?

"Mind if I steal one?" You say no with your head, you check your box again, and you curse in your head. The box has only one cigarette left.

"Sharing it is" You light your cigarette with your pink lighter, I can see some cute puppy stickers on it, you inhale the thick white smoke and exhale it, your whole body relaxing, feeling lighter, you feel calm, and you hand it to me, holding it between your index and your middle, you have a vintage silver rose ring in your middle, cracked red nail polish, and the cigarette butt was stained with your gorgeous red lipstick, I take it in between my lips, your lipstick tastes sweet like marshmallows, I savor it, Jesus, I hope I can taste your pretty lips soon.

"Talk to me," You sigh, and your mouth articulates each phrase, your voice tired and sad, I hear every detail of your story with care, a girl that can't control her alcohol, one that just wants to have fun, one that makes stupid mistakes but learns, I see beauty not only out but inside you, in your mistakes, in your intentions, in your life, you only got one, and you've made noble mistakes, I can see you're a whole woman, a hot and determined woman, but you have no road clear enough, no road to pick, you're chasing something you don't even know what it is.

"So now, I'm just trying to see what happens, I'm getting my degree soon, and then I'll keep working, maybe I'll start something on my own" Maybe if you don't love your work, at least you can come home back to me, I'll cook dinner, I'll wash your clothes, I'll set the table, I'll prep you a warm bath, I'll shower you, you won't move a single finger when you come home to me, "How's working as a music producer?"

"Oh, well, it's great... sometimes we have our differences but most of the time I just do what people tell me to do, in secret I make their music better, sometimes they don't notice and they just brag about how amazing was their idea" Your cigarette burns away into my fingers, I set it off into the wall and discreetly put it inside my pocket, you change the direction, we're going back, you're shamelessly eying me up and down, I swear if you don't stop...

"What are your favorite bands?" You're changing the subject, I don't like that, I don't like that you don't want to talk about what you've told me, but I keep you interested.

"Well... an old-time favorite is The Strokes" I answer firmly, you take out from your purse your earphones, plug them into your phone, and press play on the music as we walk together sharing your music, 'Call It Fate Call It Karma' on full volume.

"Might be basic for you, but I don't see a better song for this moment" You turn to face me, and we stop in the dark corner of the sidewalk, your eyes greedy and precious, that bloody spark in your dark eyes excites me, it's all in your eyes, I can see it clearly, I can see what you want from me, you blink slowly and wait for me to make the next move, and I don't doubt for a second, I close the space between us, and very gently press the palm of my hand to your warm cheek, it's warm and pink, staring into your eyes like stars in the black sky, kissing your lips, sweet as burned marshmallows in a bonfire night, you kiss me so softly at first, but you make that animal inside me come alive, I'm a man, I'm an animal, and I kiss your tender lips hungrily, I didn't expect for you to answer back with the same hunger, you feed me with your kiss, and your breath tastes like ecstasy, I'm a junkie, sweet sweet nicotine, I'm a chain smoker, "Take me home, Alex..."

"I'll take you anywhere you tell me, sweetheart" You grab my hand, fingers intertwined, and I feel 15 again, my palms are sweaty, my sweat is cold, and I feel so warm in my clothes, I can't wait to take them off, the anticipation getting the best of me, you make my dreams come true, and I'm so happy the world had chosen you to fall into my arms. I'm your protector, a guardian angel.

On the way home, we sneak to share some angsty kisses three or more times, you're getting me worked up, letting me touch you, grasping your hips, biting my lip, kissing my cheek, moaning my name into my lips, you're making my head spin. We walk up the stairs together, opening the door to your shelter, you have a lovely house, so clean that some things are allowed to be misplaced, it's big because you don't like having so many things out, your bed is on the other side of the wall were you living area is, the vague familiarity of it makes me feel like I'm imagining it all.

"This my girl cave, my crib" You joke, I take pictures of it in my head from bottom to top, every single inch, every place I imagine us being in, watching tele, cooking together, making a mess of the kitchen of course, dancing, fucking, scratching your wooden countertop, "What do you think?"

"It's-" We both get freaked out by the knocks at your door, some dickhead calling out your name, begging you to open the door, you roll your eyes, you know exactly who he is.

You swing open the door, cross your arms, and stand your ground, marking that he's not welcome here, you're strong, you're determined, go you! Show some teeth, "I don't wanna hear another one of your crazy fucking stories, tell them to your mother, Cameron" You were about to shut the door in his face but he stops it with his foot, that must've hurt Cameron, that's your ex isn't he? The one who made you cry, "Leave" You spit.

"I won't, you can't possibly ask for something like that... you and I know there's no one better than me, no better match than us" You stay silent, why are you thinking? why are you second-guessing? He takes a step forward, he's getting closer, you're face is a frown, you don't want him to touch you even though he keeps trying.

"I don't want you here, you must leave now Cameron, I want you out" He turns into hysteric laughter, he thinks you're crazy, he thinks you've lost your mind, well big shot, you're not it, Cameron only wants to hurt you with his words, he wants to make the most damage, he gets off at this, making you his only real standard, but Cameron will never treat you like you must be treated.

"Don't talk me to like that" I take his aggressiveness as a sign to take a step in, who the fuck does this wanker think he is to talk to you like that? You see that's a real scumbag, and I'll be his worst nightmare.

"Like what?" I come up from the back, cocky, sounding like a total prick, and I can see that you love it, when I sound like this, dominant, confident, "She's telling you to go, I'm telling you to fuck off. Now" I slam my voice at him, there are scary people in this world, there are men like Cameron, he has an intense gaze, but he wouldn't ever pick up a fight for anyone, yes... not even you, he's too vain, a narcissist, he is all bark but no bite, and then there are the men who would move mountains for their loved ones, he steps away, and I shut the door close, I can feel you shivering beneath my skin.

You stare at me, and I drag you in closer, that's what you like... you liked to be treated rough, you like being needed, I push your hips against mine, I can see it in your face, you've felt it, you've felt how hard my cock is, and it's hurting so fucking bad now, I can't wait for another second, I can't wait to take you to bed, you jump on me, wrapping your gorgeous soft legs on me, I decide to leave the first reminder of me on your kitchen table, laying your body on top of the cold wooden countertop for the first reminder of me and the things I'm about to do to you, my knuckles pull down your panties, ripping them off from your skin, your pussy glistening, bathed in your wetness, I can smell your flesh from the distance, like a predator and their victim, I'm a lion, "I'm gonna fuckin' tear you apart"

"Fuuuckin' please" You moan so loudly I bet it could be heard from across the street, and your voice shivers, I've barely even touched you yet, and you're already so wet for me, what are you thinking about? what's in your mind? I wish I could crack your skull open.

I lower myself in between your legs, I've been so busy admiring your body, the scent of the almond oil you rub on your smooth legs, I bet that you shaved them today, and I wonder what else have you shaved, your dress rides to your hips as you contortion under my touch, Jesus, you're desperate for it, but no, I want to enjoy you.

"Calm the fuck down, lay still and close your eyes" I order, and you stiffen up, staying quiet, and still, "Atta girl", I can finally see what's in between your gorgeous long legs, a pink and small pussy, Jesus, I bet you're so fucking tight by the looks of it, my ring and middle finger begin their assault, pressing down vertically against your clit, you hum and your hips writhe against me fingers, slowly, pushing them, you like that, rubbing yourself against them, and when I see you through the glass I lose my mind, I see how me fingers get coated and damped in your wetness, and I love watching you get so worked up by that, I can feel me cock just getting harder by the second, it's hurting and it's a pulsing pain, but I bare with it just for you, because now I'm going to show you how exactly you're supposed to get fucked.

I spread open your pussy, pink and warm, swollen clit I pinch in between me fingers, and you hiss but you only get wetter, if I pinched for a little longer you were sure coming all over the table. I open me mouth to taste your warm and savory juices, I suck and kiss your clit, picking up with my tongue your wetness, you're going to cum so good, I can feel it building up, you're in for a ride, and you've just begun to climb up the roller coaster.

"Oh... that's soo good" You gasp and sigh, I let my two fingers twist inside your pussy, me knuckles rimming your walls slowly, the bumpy and hard skin of my fingers make you gently fuck yourself into them, while I watch you with my tongue lapping over your clit teasingly, just those gentle touches make your legs shake, and your walls to contract, you're wonderful, you behave well, your hands slowly crawling into me hair, pulling it gently, your little whimpers get me worked up and I have to put in the biggest effort to not palm meself, I want you to feel every inch of me.

"You feel so lovely, babe doll" This feels so right, you bite on my lower lip, pulling my flesh until it bleeds. You're a sucker for my accent, you really are, you enjoy hearing me voice, doesn't it relax you? Doesn't it turn you on? I want to know what it is... I want to feel what it is, your legs keep shaking and your body keeps getting stiffer, your lower abdomen making pressure, and your walls are closing around me fingers, I shake them inside you, your mouth falls open, my lips sucking your clit harder and your body arches until I feel your cunt losing up, feeling your release leaking out of that tiny little hole, I'm eager to taste it, I eat your pussy eagerly, you know I'm hungry for it, my mouth eating your pussy like a soft and warm bun, and you taste just as sweet, just as good as I imagined, I won't let you rest, I will keep you on the limit. I drag you forward, making you kiss me lips, "Do you taste that? Taste how sweet you are... taste how good I ate you"

"And you're gonna fuck me just as good?" Your hand sneaks in between me legs, you love how hard my dick is for you, it makes you feel so thrilled, makes you feel good about yourself, and it makes you feel hot.

"You'll just have to wait a little bit longer, I'm not done with you" I'm certain about something, you're a kinky little shit, and I know you want something like this, I bend you over the kitchen table, and you're just ready for it, arching your back, spreading your legs, you're not putting a fight, my hand kneads your ass like dough, and spanks it hard over and over again, "You precious little thing, are you going to do everything I tell you to do?"

"No" You state firmly, earning another smack in your ass.

"Tell me summat..." I push my hips against your dripping wet cunt, that's oozing for another smack, "How much do you want it?" You sigh, rubbing your ass against my cock, you're killing me, you better stop now, the friction, the warmth, your goddamn smell, "Answer me you fuckin' cunt" You giggle, you do love it.

"I want you so bad" You whisper, no, I don't like that.

"Not enough" The smacks you earn are getting harder to bear, but you enjoy them, and so do I, you masochistic little shit.

"I need you inside me, Alex... I can't wait any longer" You rock your hips against mine, humping your naked pussy against my bulge, "Please..." You whimper so sweetly, I can't handle it any longer, I take off your dress, and you're wearing nothing but your tall black heels, looking like a fuckin' hooker, but I bet that's what you like.

"You want it you fucking slut?" You keep whimpering and rubbing yourself on me jeans, I bet that you've stained them already, "Come here" I turn you around and kiss you deeply, I can feel your hands unbuttoning my shirt as fast as you can, even in the heat of the moment you don't break my shirt but I couldn't care less, I take your hands and make fists ripping it apart and throwing it away, you're even faster to take out my jeans and leaving me on my boxers, that's the one good thing about me, I can see how your eyes lit up as you see how hard me fat cock is for you, you bite your lower lip and I pull you back up from your knees.

Time for reminder number two, the settee, I pull you up, and you sit in my arm until I put you back to the ground gently, I have to let you know that I was here, I need you to know how good I am, no other man could please you like that, I pull your leg up while you hold yourself up with the other, your pussy is so fucking wet my cock slides inside you so easily, I can feel the electric shocks that run all over your body, "Hard, please" You whine, I'm going to show you what hard actually is.

My hips thrust inside you so roughly the settee moves out of place, your nails dig into the cushions as I keep railing your tight hole harder, and you scream like bloody murder, I hope your neighbors don't call the police, I hope they can see how hard you're getting your cunt fucked, I want everyone that walks by to hear you, "You wanted hard babe!" You moan and scream, and keep getting your pussy pounded like meat being beaten up to get it tender. I dig your head into the pillows.

"Don't... d-don't-" Don't what?

"I can't understand you, babe, can you repeat that for me?" You pant trying to catch your breath, and your legs are numbing up, and I can see they've lost some strength, "Do you want me to stop, because I can" As I saw you didn't make a move, I began to pull out but you stopped, digging your nails into my wrist.

"Don't stop for fucks sake" Now for the next one, I stay buried inside you like that, you keep trying to fuck yourself into me cock but I just won't allow it, I pick you up once more, and your legs around my torso, and you press your warm chest against mine, I lean back against the giant bookshelf next to your bedroom door, you hold on into the shelves for leverage while I drive my cock inside you, your pussy feels so tight I wish I could let this last forever, I'll make that pussy mine.

"You want more, babe?" You hum and gasp, yes of course you do, you're loving every single inch of me cock, "God you look so beautiful with your mouth opened like that," I lick your bottom lip, "And that little cunt of yours is so wet for me, you're just making things harder for me..." I pushed meself too hard inside you, the shelf shook, and something hard dropped to the ground but you ignored it, you've lost yourself in my touch, and I feel embarrassed for dropping something. Your inner animal wakes up as I throw you into your bed.

I crawl on top of you but you gather up your strength to flip me over, I didn't expect that, you've taken the lead and I want to see you lose control, you writhe your hips into mine, your eyes facing the roof, and your mouth wide open, your hair falling into your head, you looked possessed, but you had lost the power to think about what you were doing, "For fucks sake" If you keep moving like that, you're going to make this end sooner, and I've already planned everything out, I try to sit up but you hold me down, chocking me so hard that it's almost impossible to breathe for me, but I love that feeling, my head feels light, my vision is blurry, but I'm not going to give in to you, I already have, you have got to give into me.

I flip you over so harshly, your head almost slammed against your headboard, "Listen to me you fuckin' cunt" My harsh tone makes your core shake, "You ain't the one on command, now... I don't wanna repeat meself" It's arousing you, I can feel it in between your legs, you're shamelessly getting wetter, "Don't make me repeat meself again" You love to play with me, I see that naughty little smile curling into your lips.

"You already did" You like to pull on my hair, don't you? And you will pay for that.

"Don't fuck with me" Your eyebrows push together and your little smirk makes me go mad.

"You know I love to" Love? You "love to"? Does this mean that you might love me? Even just a tiny bit?

"You do, huh?" I begin to rock my hips against yours, slowly, passionately, like a slow and steaming dance, I see your fingers grasping the sheets making hard fists, "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into" And I'm not lying, you really don't.

"Show me Alex" You whisper to me those three words so sexily, charmingly, I've already lost my mind.

"I'll show you how a real man fucks you, babe," Your oozing with the thrill, "I'll show you how to behave... you little fuckin' cunt" Your mouth opens to moan and I take advantage of it to spit inside your mouth, both my hands chocking you, "You're mine... all mine"

"I'd love to" You whimper, "Make me yours please... please just do, I want you Alex" You keep asking me that with your little weak voice, your body that speaks to me, I can read it so easily, it tells me that I'm doing exactly what you want me to do, it shivers, and it quivers, and it sweats, it screams, it tightens, it stiffens, in your eyes I can feel your fast heartbeat in my fingers, and it goes just as fast as mine, my body against yours sounds like I'm butchering you, your neighbors must think I'm holding a knife against your throat, but it does go as deep, it does penetrate and it hurts you in the most magnificently and pleasingly way, your eyes red shot, and your voice gets quieter, shit, I'm losing you, I am.

"Wake up, wake up!" I scream to you, my hand patting your cheek lightly, your pulse is barely detectable, I slap you across your face and you gain back consciousness in the blink of an eye, I didn't want to do it, I would never do that, but when your lips curl into your devilish smile, I know see how you really are.

"Do that again Al" You tease me, I love it when you call me like that, no one ever really does that anymore, is that my new nickname? Al? You're going to remember me forever babe, I hope you do, and tomorrow when you wake up, I'm still going to be there, I'll make your breakfast, and I'll do anything you ask me to do, even dishes, you won't pick them up.

"You're mad, woman" You giggle, and you try to pick yourself up, I can't let you, I did knock you over completely, my hand very gently caresses your cheeks, it's red and fragile, it must burn or at least sting, "Let me do the kissing for now, babe"

"And the fucking too perhaps?" You smile at me, your cute little button nose is flushed, your cheeks and chest are red, your nipples are hard, it turned you on to this point, you're dark, what else are you not telling me? "I'm crazy about you" Those words will echo in my head for the rest of my days.

I take no rush into fucking you, I'm not just a guy you'll sleep with, I'm your man, and I wanted to make sweet sweet love to you, but you won't let me, you like it rough, hard, fast, I don't want this moment to be over, at least not for me yet, you can cum as many times as you like, and like the real man I am, I am profoundly true to the saying 'Happy wife, happy life'

I hug you close to me, that's the least I can do, if I'm going to lose control, let my heart tell yours how much I love you, even if you dump me like a puppy, I'll stay loyal, I'll follow your scent everywhere, I will forever remember the scent of your vanilla hair, your Dior perfume, and the golden necklace around your neck, I counted 15 moles on your body, even the one in between your legs, my hands grab your hair into fists as I pound you harder and harder, you're losing your mind and I'm losing control again, your bed squeaks so loudly and the headboards slams against the wall so harshly, but I don't stop I can't stop now, I can feel you, I can feel it coming, you bring yourself to an end again, the palm of my hand slowly adds pressure on your lower belly, to ease you up, the bed keeps squeaking so annoyingly, and even after we ignored the several warnings, the legs of your bed broke and your headboard fell to the ground, we both break into laughter.

"Oh God!" Your little laughter is so bubbly and funny, it makes me smile and feel so ashamed at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, I'll pay for that" You rub the tip of your little nose against mine, and look at me tenderly, your fingers caressing the back of my head, if only you could see the hearts in my eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous... you know, I've never broken a bed before... you're not going to be easy to forget batman, I hope you don't disappear into the night soon" I'll get you off first, but there's one thing you should be certain of.

"I never intended to" Was that too much? Sorry if that was too much, maybe it was... maybe it wasn't, I'm having a hard time reading your face right now, you're looking at me very seriously, I don't want to get my hopes up, but you're killing me, I should focus now, finish the deed, "But I'm still sorry about your bed though"

"Shut the fuck up, and keep fucking me" Whatever she wants, whatever she wants... You're already the song on the radio I got stuck in me head.

I pull us closer to the safest edge of your bed, toss your legs over me shoulders, and bend them over, I lean over and pound the living shit out of you, I was balls deep inside you, and you like it, so much that you dig your nails into my back, scratching my skin until red and bloody, I don't care how much it hurts, leave as many marks as you want, the deeper the better, my hair falls over my forehead and you make the kindest gesture, your brush it back with your long nails, even if by now I'm sweating like a pig you keep bringing me closer to you, I can feel the light tingles of you breathing in me face, of you biting down on my golden chain making laugh, making me go insane, I keep pushing harder, and you throw your head back, almost letting go of me, but I won't let you, I'll send you to heaven if you want, but don't leave without me.

"Oh, Alex... I'm so close, please..." Your eyeballs turn into beautiful glossy pearls, and you crumble down into pieces as you coat my cock in your warm release, I can feel your walls pushing it out and running down your cozy hole, I stay buried inside you, watching your mouth fall open and choke out your last orgasms, they spin in my head like a tiny little music box, "You're next, Alex... you can't end things like that... you know how much I want it, you already did so much for me" Wait, what are you doing?

Your hands run up my chest, and you massage my shoulders, "You really want me to breed you, you greedy little fuck?" Your hands go down and you massage my balls, Jesus, you really do, I bet you're not even aware of what you're doing to me... or are you?

"Yes Alex, use it... use me" You know exactly what you're doing, I drag my cock out just rimming your walls once again, I better start warming you up, but you don't want that now, you're thinking about me, about what I want, you deserve a little star on your forehead for being so caring, a man and its needs, it's nothing compared to your needs, and I bet you needed someone to get you off correctly.

"You're mine... I want you to say it" I promised to you since the beginning, I won't stop until you're mine, "Are you mine?" I look at you with my big eyes full of hope for you to say it, please tell me now.

"I'm yours Alex" My lips taste your mouth, your tongue dancing with mine. You're made of the sweetest poison

God, I remember that time I was watching through your window, that night you were laying down on your settee, your hand was vigorously and shamelessly rubbing your clit in circles, fucking your little cunt with two fingers, rocking yourself into your touch with the desperate need to rub yourself against something hard, just like you were rubbing yourself against me hard cock. You keep squeezing my balls, your hands sneak into my ass squeezing it gently to keep me going, you love having me right at the edge of ending it all, I can't keep it up for another moment anymore, you're big stary eyes, your little sparkles, your touches, the smell, the noises, you're begging for me cum, I slam my fist next to your head, dragging your body up as I push myself deep inside you and coat your walls in me creamy cum, you're pure bliss as I feel us both coming together, a gorgeous after bliss surrounding us, you have this certain smell, a certain heat, and you're just so beautiful with your cheeks flushed like that.

"Let me clean you up, it's me mess, just lay down" You nod your head, laying gently on your broken bed to not let it crash completely into the ground, you point your finger telling me where the toilet is, and I rush there to grab a few paper towels and clean your skin softly, soothingly, I can feel you relaxing, I can smell my body in yours, the smell of my cologne, your almond oil, and your pheromones. And when I'm done you grab my hand and I can see you thanking me for even that tiny gesture, that's nothing you should be thanking me for, that's the least.

"Now the question is... where are we going to sleep?" We? You want me to sleep here, with you? You're not quicking me out, or at least not yet, this is my chance and I would be lying if I didn't say I was the luckiest man alive.

"Maybe the settee would be a nice place" Your gorgeous olive green settee, corduroy, soft, and marked, I can see you smiling at the space in between your two cushions, I see your giant ivory bookshelf, another mark. I lean forward to pick up what I had dropped when we assaulted the shelf, but it wasn't one of the thousands of vinyl records you've got organized by letter, it's a case... a guitar case. I didn't know that about you. Tonight made me realize that you're a hat full of surprises, the deeper I search the more I find.

"Want some food?... I've got some nuggets and fries... and-" You close your fridge and turn to look at me, "Oh, you know how to play?" I nod my head, trying to stay as noble and humble, you smack your hand into your forehead, "Of course, you do," You sigh and I can hear you whispering to yourself, "Stupid question"

"And do you?" You hum as a yes, interesting, I bet you do, but why do you hide your guitar like that? As if it was buried in this beautiful world with music, colors, words, and meanings.

"I did..." You turn on your air frier and toss some nuggets and fries in there, I'm so happy that you're not like one of those crazy keto girls, you pour us some fresh orange juice as you keep talking to me, "But you know, my mom always told me 'that's just a hobby', and when I moved here I hoped to find some people that wanted to share this fire to try to make some music... but I never managed to, and then I just gave up"

"That's a bit sad, love... you shouldn't have" You lean over the kitchen countertop, amazing reminder, I see you smiling over the edge of your shoulder, but you turn to look at me as you pick up some of our clothes, and then you run into my shirt and you decided to wear it as your sex shirt, you look beautiful, "I mean, being a music producer and making it was hard, but it was even harder to follow something I'm not passionate about" That's what's wrong, you didn't follow your passion, that's what you're missing, "Have you got any songs?" Your face lights up but it quickly slips away, and the redness crawls into your face, What? I'm trying to help you, I want you to be happy with me and with your life.

"I can't accept that" You quickly answered, your head said no but I know you want this, it's served on a silver platter, why can't you let your reserved self accept this?

"Accept what? I haven't said anything, I just asked if you could sing for me... I know you have a lovely voice" You laugh sarcastically at me, leaning over to fetch your guitar, and searching for a notebook on your vinyl shelf.

You sit next to me, legs crossed, guitar on your lap, naked with just my shirt on, your knees holding your notebook as you search for the perfect page for me, you make sure that your guitar is tuned before you start and your thumb softly strums down the notes, making a lovely rhythm, and only two chords, C and Em, your voice sounds like a million angels, and I feel like a lost man after serving the purgatory, your voice is so hauntingly beautiful, your lyrics are very forward, and I'm happy to know through your lyrics how truly you feel about things, you don't search for big words you choose the right ones, you're bold, and you're wise, you try to put an end to your complicated feelings, your questions, everything, all in one song with a few strums and two simple chords.

"That's all," You say putting your guitar next to you, I'm blown away, "I know I suck"

"No!" I answer immediately, "You don't... I think it's beautiful"

"You're just saying that because..." No, I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you, no not at all, don't you ever believe that.

"I'm saying that because I think you've got it, and you don't want to quit everything to live your dream, I know it must be difficult... but I'm being truthful, you've got summat and we can work on it" Why do you keep saying no with your head? Stop that, if I could rip it off right now... no, don't think that, "Come on, I'm not takin' a piss" You break into laughter with me, throwing your head back, you jump up the moment your oven dings and you run to flip the nuggets and the fries, putting 10 more minutes into the oven.

"Takin' a piss" You laugh to yourself, "Well, if you're not takin' a piss" You imitate my accent and it sounds so silly when you try to do it, "I'm not accepting your help Alex, you have your own thing, and if I'm going to do this, I have to do it on my own," Perfect, I'll take that.

"Why don't you go to Panda's next Saturday? They're looking for some people to play some music, any style, any theme, you can do whatever you want... I'm sure everyone will love you, and you know, there's always someone on the hunt for summat fresh!" I see you thinking about it, I'm not saying I'll help you, I'm just offering the start of something great for you, this is it for you. And yes, I am going to get you the best deal you could ever imagine, but first I have to run things through your notebook, I secretly hide your baby pink notebook, your initials written with a black sharpie, and I stash it in between the cushions.

"I'll think about it" I'll think about it. I hope you do go, I can't wait to see you singing for everyone, you will charm them, "Dinner is served me lord" You're also a dork, just like me, imagine all of the jokes we can make together, they'll be endless.

"My! Thank you, very kind" Dinousor nuggets with a side of fries, the melancholic feeling of your childhood must be present every single day, you squeeze some Ketchup into my plate, squirting into my chest.

"Whoops! Let me clean that for you" You lean in, sticking out your tongue to lick off the ketchup from my chest, "Eat up!" I'm in love with you, "And then we'll get on with that" You look down, and I do the same, shite, look what you do to me, you make me get so hard like a little boy hitting puberty.

"Bugger" I whisper under my breath, you heard it since you giggled, "You know, I think the food can wait right?" You push your plate away and you immediately crawl on top of me, kissing my lips so tenderly, caressing my chin with your fingers, and enjoying the texture of the little hairs that are growing on me cheeks.

"Mmm ketchup" You laugh into the kiss, and our teeth collide accidentally, and us by casualty, "You taste yummy"

"Imagine yourself" You blush hard, something tells me no one has ever made you feel that good about yourself, and that's because no one will see you with the same eyes as me, you're my girl, you will be, I try to flip you but instead you stop me, have I done something wrong?

"We're not going to break this couch, I love this fucking couch, you understand that?" You firmly said, your eyes threatening to kill me if I do as such, "I'm on top" I squeeze your ass tightly biting my bottom lip.

"Whatever she wants... but if I broke the bed it's 90% your fault," You scoffed and laughed as I peeled my shirt from your body gently, making sure I don't break more buttons so you could keep it, "Because you feel so good, and maybe you could be on top, but I know sooner or later... you'll be the one giving into me" Quite intense, wasn't I? Fuck!

"But for now, it's me who calls the shots, so if we break this... it will be 98% your fault, how do you like me now, smarty?" You secure your arms around my shoulder, I pull you in, chest on chest, as I give myself a few more strokes before you slowly slide down my cock, moaning so gently, I like feeling every part of you, I can see how your body twists and shivers when I hit that sweet spot.

"How do you like that?" I rub it in your face, how good I'm making you feel, "I guess one round just wasn't quite enough for you," You start humping on my cock slowly, you're just teasing me again, but I enjoy feeling your body move against mine, your little cries and moans, everything piles up in me, I know this time I'll enjoy you, picture you going in slow motion, I can feel your rapid heartbeat, I can feel the heat wave that raises and wrap us in, I can feel your body begging to mine to stay as close as possible, because that's what your body and my body want, we smile, we laugh, and I fall deeper in a hole full of love for you, and I'm no donkey to use the dirt to get out, I rather stay buried deep inside you just like now. Your body is tired, it's been two hours since your legs worked for the last time, and you beg for more into my ear.

"You're so good, I-I don't understand" What don't you understand, babe? Your fingers intertwine in the back of my head, as you writhe your hips to mine, our bodies dancing together so wonderfully, your hips move in circles against mine.

"Neither of those assholes could ever come close to me, I'm a real man..."

"And you've got the size" You flirt with me so shamelessly, your walls keep dragging me in, your head falls into my shoulder, you're giving into me, fading into me, and it's me time now, I finally get to give you what I wanted since the beginning, make sweet and honest love to you, my hands on your thighs I keep driving your body against mine, I gently bounce you on me lap just to get you to stay up again, you're eyes are shutting, your mouth is falling open again.

"Look at me" I order, and you do what I tell you to do, you look at me towards your end, I hope you can read it in my eyes, I hope you can feel how warm the flesh is, how my eyes, my brain, and heart have no space for anyone else but you, how mad you've made me, I'm obsessed, and I'm not going to lie to myself about it anymore, I don't want to just use you, I hope you can see that, but if you can't, I hope this is enough for you to understand it, my eyes big and dilated for you, my body feels so stiff, it's overwhelming, "You're so beautiful, love"

"If you keep calling me that, you're gonna make me fall in love, Alex"

So I'll say it every single day for the rest of my life, you feel so good on me, your body fits into mine so perfectly, and I'm so close, and so are you, the flesh is tender, the flowers bloom, the sun rises and it's heat rains all over the world, and you and I bond together for one last time before your body crashes into mine, I make a mess, but that's a bit on purpose, "Ah, yes" You sigh into my ear as you let it rest on top of mine. I have the chance to clean your body once more, to clean you up with care and love, my touch is so gentle your body fills with goosebumps, "You really don't have to Alex" You put your hand on my hand, and I freeze, should I stop? Am I making you uncomfortable?

"Sorry... if I'm doing too much" Your eyebrows push together and before I can get away you drag me back by my wrist and smile at me. What do you think of me?

"No, I'm just..." You sigh, you're troubled by your thoughts, "Not used to the 'aftercare' part that's all, you know, sex for us girls... it's not like we see it in films, or read in books, maybe I don't have that magic to turn a beast into a prince, and... I just I dunno, I don't feel weird... you make me feel special, normally, they just leave" Are you... maybe falling for me?

I smile at you, my thumb grazes your cheek softly, "I'm a man, and I'm messy but I just don't like doing that there's an attraction, and if we have sex, unless you ask me to leave I'll leave" I put away the paper towels in the trash, and when I come back I find you waiting for me with my shirt on your body.

"Well, if that's the case" My heart pumps one thousand miles per hour, I feel I'm entering a trance, about to puke my intestines out if you ask me to leave, "You don't mind staying?"

Fuck yeah! "Not at all" I try to keep me cool but I just can't, my heart betraying as I lay down with you.

After we finally had the chance to close our eyes, the sun peeks through the curtains of your windows, the sky painted orange and ocean blue, you smile at me, and you get back up from our little love nest that was the settee, you're quick to find the vinyl with the song we were listening together, the song we kissed to, the perfect song to watch the sunrise.

"Come with me!" I've never heard you so excited before, you run to the kitchen and fetch my boxers from the ground, and I'm a bit troubled by the thought of me wearing my jeans with no underwear but I do nevertheless because I would kill to see you like that every single day.

I cover my body with my coat, and you grab my hand, we run out of your house, and we go through this tiny little white gate, into a garden covered in green chasmophyte, that's the place where the flowers bloom in little boxes of dirt, the perfect place to see the sun, the perfect place to hide, to dream in, it's wonderful, you pull out a chair for me in this old rusty table, you find place to put your music and we listen to Call It Fate Call It Karma as the sun rises from the horizon, I pull you to my lap, wrapping your legs around my arms and hum the song to your ear, the birds are chirping, and the sun warms us from the once oh so cold night.

"You're a lovely singer," You say to my ear, I was never one to watch sunrises, I haven't done that since I was 17, and now with my busy life, I finally get to taste this little piece of paradise that you've given me.

"Not as good as you, bunny" You kiss my nose with a big smile, and I take out from my jeans a box of cigarettes and my old zippo, you set on my smoke, and you love to play with my zippo as your hands run through my naked skin, you love playing with fire, don't you? I just hope someday, you don't get burned in the fire of my love.

A/N

Anon, I want to kiss you. You don't know for how long I've been trying to figure out how to write this chapter, I had to watch You again but it was totally worth it, so thank you!

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 4: Want to Talk About It?

Joel attends your mother's funeral. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 3, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Death. Mention of suicide. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 4.5K

A/N: Anna is vaguely described. Not mentioned in this chapter BUT Anna is adopted (this will be explicitly in the text later) and has no blood relation to Goldie.

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

November 14, 2010

“You sure we should really be here?” Tommy asked, looking over at Joel. 

“Course we should be here,” Joel replied, glancing at him and drying his sweaty palm on his black jeans. “We knew ‘er, too. Wouldn’t just be here to support… we’d be here anyway is what I’m saying.” 

“Right,” Tommy nodded. “OK.” 

The two of them were quiet, tucked away at the back of the funeral parlor. It wasn’t too packed with people, maybe two or three dozen, who were milling around, lining up to go look at your mom’s body. Joel couldn’t bring himself to do that part of it. He’d looked at his dad as he lay cold and still and now he had a hard time picturing him alive. He didn’t want to do that again. 

“She’s gonna be here, right?” Tommy whispered. “I mean… Rhode Island is far and she hasn’t been back since, right?” 

“It’s her mom” Joel whispered back. “Course she’ll be here.” 

He looked back over his shoulder anyway. He wasn’t nearly as confident as he sounded. 

Joel hoped you’d be here. It made sense that you would be. He hadn’t seen you in years. It had been so long he’d started to forget what you sounded like. It was like one day, just after prom, you decided he wasn’t a part of your life anymore and that was that. A switch he didn’t know existed had flipped and his whole life turned upside down with it. 

He almost hadn’t known your mother died. Your fucking mother, the woman who fed him dinner more times than he could count, who called him Joely, who tugged on the ends of his curls when his hair got long and told him to not be shy, to take what he wanted from her kitchen because her home was his home, too. She’d died and he almost hadn’t even heard about it. He wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for a text from your sister. 

Hey Joel, it’s Anna. She wouldn’t want me to tell you this but I think that’s bullshit. Our mom died a few days ago, the funeral is Sunday. Thought you might want to know. Hope you’re doing OK <;3 

It sent him reeling more than anything else related to you had in so long. How could he not have known? That something so big could happen to you and he was just living his life as though things were normal? That he wasn’t helping you through it? He should be helping you through it. 

But it hurt in other ways, too. It made him realize that, really, he was nothing to you. He wasn’t even your fucking Facebook friend. If something happened to you across the country, if you were in a car accident or you needed your appendix out, no one would tell him. He’d never know about it. You could die and it would be a normal day for him because he was nothing to you and no one would tell him that the most important person in the world was gone. 

Before too long, people started finding their seats and Joel fought to not turn around and watch the doors, looking for you. But he still glanced back when you did come in, trailing behind a small cluster of people that looked vaguely familiar. He realized he probably met them at some family event or another, at a birthday party or BBQ because, for three years, you were only ever apart when you had to be. 

And then there you were. You were wearing a black dress with black tights and black high heels and your eyes were red but your face was firm. There was a man beside you, one whose arm you clutched tight and Joel resisted the urge to glare at him. You didn’t even glance at Joel.

Anna came in behind you. She didn’t bother with the pretense of pretending not to cry, little trails of mascara running down her cheeks. But she smiled tightly at Joel and mouthed “hi” and he gave her a sad smile in return. 

Joel watched as you, Anna and that fucking man settled into the front row, his arm going around your shoulders and tugging you against his side. Joel barely listened to the officiant at first, too busy focusing on you. You kept turning your head to look up at the man next to you and at one point he leaned over and kissed your temple and whispered in your ear. Joel ground his teeth. 

But it was easy to pay attention when you got up to give your eulogy. You pulled your gold notebook out of your bag and carried it up to the podium. Your eyes were still red - he could see that, even from the back of the room - and your shoulders were hunched as you arranged the notebook in front of you. But you took a deep, shaky breath and looked up, back straightening and chin jutting out in defiance, jaw set tight. 

“If I had to find one word to summarize my mother, it would be try,” you said. “She was made up of try, I think. She was always trying to make things better for my sister and I, always trying to build the life she wanted… I guess, in the end, trying just became too much for her…” 

Your voice never wavered. It was stronger than Joel remembered but the tone and cadence were so familiar, so like home. Your eyes were red but you didn’t cry. You just stood there, fingers tight on your notebook that you only ever glanced down at, anyway. 

Joel wanted to get up and hug you. You looked like you needed a hug. More than a hug. You looked like you needed someone to carry you for a while, like you needed someone to take you by the shoulders, look you in the eye and say “It’s OK. I’ll take it from here. Rest.” You needed it so much that Joel started to stand up, instinctively, when you finished your speech and headed back to your seat but the man you came in with met you near the podium, putting his arm around you and kissing the top of your head. Joel sat back down. 

“She did good,” Tommy whispered as Joel stared straight ahead. For the first time, your eyes met his. 

“Yeah,” Joel said, not looking away. “She did.” 

After the service, there was a receiving line and Joel held Tommy back. He wondered if, maybe, he could get you alone that way. But that fucking guy was on you like glue, one of his hands on the small of your back he entire time. He was constantly directing you, constantly nudging you where he wanted you to be, adjusting you to stand how he wanted you to stand. Joel wanted to fucking punch him. 

“Thank you for coming,” Anna smiled a little at him, her blue eyes lacking their usual spark. “I know it’s been a while but… well, Mom just loved you.” 

Joel’s throat got tight. 

“I loved her, too,” he said. “She was a great lady. Really.” 

“Yeah,” Anna said, her voice wet as she looked back toward the casket. “Yeah, she was.” 

Joel glanced at you, your fingers in a tight fist around the man’s shirt, your lips at his ear as he frowned a little. Anna looked back at him and followed his eyes. 

“Don’t get me started,” she said, her voice low. “Mom wasn’t huge on him…” 

Joel shook hands quickly with one of your aunts and then he was in front of you. He glanced over at the man and realized he recognized him. The man had to be twice your age, hair going gray and crows feet around his eyes. His chest got tight. 

“Joel,” you said, one arm crossed over the front of yourself, clutching onto your opposite elbow. “Good of you to come.”

“Course,” he said. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to shake your hand or not. What did you do with the person who was once your best friend, the person you lost your virginity to, when you hadn’t spoken in years? “Always loved your mom. She was always nicer to me than I deserved.” 

You huffed at that and the man pressed a little closer to you, his hand firmly planted on your lower back. You stood up straighter before you looked toward Tommy and your face softened a little. “Good to see you Tommy. How’s school going?”

“OK,” he shrugged. “I’m passing. Missed you.” 

You smiled ever so slightly. 

“Missed you, too.” 

“You could come visit, you know,” Tommy said. 

“Tommy,” Joel hissed and he just looked up at him. 

“What! She could.” 

“It’s not a great time for me to be leaving school,” you said. “I’ve got classes all year and writing intensives all summer… I’m not sure when I’ll be back again.” 

“Not even to see Anna?” Joel frowned. 

“Anna can always come visit us,” the man at your back said. “Sorry to cut the reunion short but we should keep things moving…” 

“We’re last in line,” Tommy protested. 

“And the family needs to get to the reception,” the man said. “I’m sure you can share your thoughts there.” 

“Right,” Joel said, looking from the man to you. “Sure we can. C’mon Tommy.” 

“But…” 

“Let’s go,” Joel cut him off. “Don’t want to be rude.” 

Joel looked back over his shoulder to you when he made it to the doors, your head bowed and the man’s large hand at the nape of your neck. 

“Guy’s an asshole,” Tommy muttered as he climbed in Joel’s truck. 

“Yeah, well,” he sighed, grinding his teeth a little. “Goldie always had shit taste in men.” 

Joel felt like he deserved a goddamn medal for sitting there, watching you with that fucking guy, silent at a table with your family, family made up of Anna and people he didn’t know. Because, besides Anna, they weren’t your fucking family. He was. Him and Tommy. 

He kept watching for a moment to try to get you alone, some point where you were away from that man who kept fucking pawing at you and who looked like he was old enough to be your fucking father. He tried not to think about how shitty that was. To corner you at your mother’s funeral and force you to talk to him. But it was hard to really care. 

The time for etiquette was long passed. He missed you. He kept thinking that, eventually, the feeling would fade. That he’d wake up in the morning and think of something besides you. That he’d stop looking for signs of you everywhere and in everything. That, eventually, some day, you wouldn’t be the first person he thought of talking to when he had a shit day or when something good happened to him. He couldn’t keep going like this, going on without the answers he should have fucking marched up to you and demanded years ago. Joel wasn’t the type to think the world owed him things but fuck, didn’t you? Didn’t you owe him something? Didn’t being inseparable things whose roots and branches had become so intertwined that one couldn’t live without the other mean that you had to at least tell him before you cut yourself away? You certainly didn’t seem to think so. He disagreed.

And then you came home with that guy, that fucking guy, the one who couldn’t possibly be good enough for you and you let him touch you and hold you and control you during what Joel knew had to be one of the worst times of your life. Did that guy even know? Did he know that your mom took you prom dress shopping and adjusted the hemline herself at the sewing machine in your living room? Did he know how you carefully removed the screen of your bedroom window to climb out of it so your mom wouldn’t hear you open the front door when you left to lay in the bed of Joel’s truck and star gaze at the park? Did he know how sad and kind your mother’s face was when she told him that you’d left town, moved to Rhode Island months earlier than planned, when he came by your house a few days after prom to demand answers? 

Did you?

Eventually, you stood up and leaned down to whisper in the man’s ear and you left the room. The man watched you go and Joel waited for a moment before he followed you. The door you’d gone through led to a hall with bathrooms and an exit to the parking lot and he took a guess, hovering outside the ladies’ room door. He was right, and you nearly walked into him a minute later. 

“Shit,” you said, sniffling a little. “Sorry…” 

“S’OK,” he said quickly. “Thought I’d check on you. See if you wanted a drink.” 

“A drink?” you raised your eyebrows at him. He had the strangest urge to trace the arch of them with his thumb. 

“Yup,” he pulled his flask ever so slightly from his inside leather jacket pocket before tucking it away again. “Bullshit that the person who probably coordinated this whole thing can’t even fucking drink for it. Thought you could use one.” 

“Jesus, could I ever,” you said, looking around quickly. “C’mon.” 

You took his hand as though everything was normal and pulled him along behind you to the door, shoving it roughly open before stepping out into the cool November air. 

“Oh shit, one sec,” you said, hovering by the door for a moment, holding it open with one hand and balancing on one foot. Joel laughed. 

“What the fuck are you doin’ Goldie?” 

“Making sure we don’t get locked out,” you replied, pulling your heel off and putting your shoe between the door and the frame, closing the heavy metal door delicately to make sure it stayed propped open. You limped awkwardly for a few steps before Joel just shook his head and went to you, looping his arm around your waist and half carrying you to the little partial wall that separated the restaurant from the parking lot. He set you down there and watched as you rolled and turned your ankle for a moment before stretching your foot out to a point. “Never buy heels, Joel. They’re not worth the pain.” 

“Noted,” he smiled a little and pulled the flask out of his coat pocket before sitting beside you. He handed it to you first and you looked at it for a moment, smiling a little. 

“This is familiar,” you said, a hint of fondness in your voice. 

“Yeah but I bought the booze this time,” Joel said. You nodded slowly as you took a sip. You winced a little as it went down and handed it back to him. He looked at it for a moment, his finger tracing the neck of it. The metal shined a little, wet with you and the rum. He brought it to his lips, taking a drink. “So… how’re things?” 

“You mean besides the fact that I’m here instead of working on final projects because my mom decided to slit her wrists in the bathtub?” You asked, brows raised. “Just peachy.” 

“Sorry,” Joel flinched, handing you the flask again. He stuck his hands in his pockets. “That was a stupid question.” 

You shrugged. 

“And how are you?” You asked, pulling your arms in tight to yourself. “I know it’s… it’s been a while…” 

“Well, someone I know changed their damn phone number,” Joel said, shrugging out of his coat and draping it over your shoulders. “But shit’s same as always. Or same as always for the last few years, anyway. Tommy is doing good in school right now. Got a job with some pretty steady work.” 

You frowned, tugging the coat a little tighter to yourself. Joel was reminded of when you’d borrow his letterman years ago, how the sleeves swallowed your fingers because his arms were long enough that they had to special order his size. You’d always looked so fragile there, in his coat. You’d always looked so protected there, too.

“Did you already get your associates?” You took drink and handed the flask back. 

“Nah,” he said, taking it. “Decided not to bother. What’s the point, just flunk out in a semester, maybe two. Figured I’d save myself a lot of grief and money and just cut to the chase, you know?” 

He took a drink.

“That’s bullshit,” you said, gaping at him. “Joel, come on, it’s just two years, you can…” 

“I can what?” He cut you off. “I can fuck around at community college, act like I was ever gonna amount to anything…” 

“Of course you’re going to amount to something,” you interrupted him this time. “You already amount to something and…” 

“I amount to something?” He asked, voice getting heated. “Really? Is that why you took off without a fuckin’ word? Just ditched me here, blocked me on fucking Facebook, changed your fuckin’ number? Because I amount to so damn much…” 

“Don’t.” 

“Don’t what!” He was on his feet now and you flinched at his raised voice. “Don’t talk about it? Don’t point out the fucking obvious? Don’t actually hold you accountable for your shitty actions?” 

“My shitty actions?” You gaped at him before you laughed darkly. “Oh wow, that’s fucking rich coming from you…” 

“Yeah, yours!” He yelled. “Because I sure as shit don’t know what the fuck I did…” 

“Bullshit you don’t know what you did,” you snapped. “Come on, Joel, don’t pretend that you’re dumb. Don’t pretend that I’m dumb. We both know…” 

“I don’t know shit! I don’t know a fuckin’ thing when it comes to you, Goldie! I know you left! I know your mom wouldn’t give me your number! I know you apparently never even fucking thought about me…” 

“You don’t know a goddamn thing…” 

“I do know that you showed up here with that fucking guy!” He pressed on. “What the fuck is that? How old is he, hm?” 

“It’s not your fucking business!” 

“Should be someone’s fucking business!” He snapped. “Because he has to be, what, twice your age?” 

“So what if he is? I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want with whoever I want…” 

“An adult,” he laughed but there was no humor in it. “Adult, you can’t even buy your own fucking booze and you’re, what, fucking some 50-year-old man? What is he, your fucking professor, that it?” 

“He’s 40!” You snapped, on your feet, awkwardly off balance with your missing shoe. “And who cares how I met him, he thinks I’m smart! He wants to be around me, he looks out for me, he…” 

“He’s takin’ advantage of you is what he’s fuckin’ doing!” Joel’s chest was heaving. “Been watching him control you all goddamn day! You really think he cares about you? Knows you? You’re just gonna be one of many to him, Goldie, he probably does this with every pretty girl in his damn classes…” 

“Does he propose to them?” Your left hand flew in between you, palm facing you as you held it up. There was a large, solitary oval diamond on your ring finger. Joel felt sick. “I’m not just some girl to him, I’m not just another lay in a long line of lays. He loves me, he respects me and I love him and I don’t need your fucking judgement, Joel.” 

“Doll?” Joel’s head whipped around to see that fucking guy poking his head out of the door you’d propped open with your missing shoe. “Everything OK?” 

“Fine,” you smiled a little and shrugged out of Joel’s coat, handing it back to him. “Just needed some air.” 

“Folks are looking for you,” he said, looking over at Joel for a moment. “Should get back.” 

“Right,” you said, taking a deep breath for a moment before looking back at Joel. “Good to catch up, I guess. You really should think about getting your associates at least. It’d do you good.” 

You didn’t wait for him to respond, limping awkwardly for the door before delicately putting your foot into the black pump as your fucking fiance held onto you. 

Joel gave himself a few minutes to calm down before going back inside and finding Tommy. 

He didn’t stay. 

Instead, he dropped Tommy at his mom’s house and headed to the bar near his apartment that he liked best. He played there sometimes, just him and his voice and his guitar, knowing full well that there’d never be a record label scout in the crowd but it felt good pretending. 

It was still early, the bar pretty dead, and he took a seat off to the side before ordering a Shiner. He sat there, grinding his teeth and trying not to think of you with him. It wasn’t even that he got to be with you all the time instead of Joel. If you didn’t want Joel, fine, he wasn’t going to force himself on you but fuck, couldn’t you see what was right in front of you? That you deserved better than that? 

“Hey.” 

Joel almost jumped at the sound of someone next to him. He turned to find a woman there, about the same age as him. She was beautiful, with dark skin and curly hair and eyes it would be very easy to get lost in if he could get lost in anything right then. 

“Hey,” he replied, looking back toward the bar and taking another sip of his beer. 

“Mind if I sit here?” She asked. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Thanks,” she said, climbing up on the stool next to him. “Don’t really feel like dealing with the attention I get when I sit by myself but I desperately needed a drink…” 

She leaned over the bar and flagged down the bartender before ordering a whiskey on the rocks. 

“That good a day?” Joel asked after a moment. 

“Something like that,” she sighed. Jimmy, the bartender, set her drink in front of her and she took a sip before sighing. “Looks like about the same for you.” 

“Yup,” he said. 

“Want to talk about it?” She asked after a moment. 

“Not really,” he replied. She nodded. “You?” 

“No,” she said. “I’m Ashley, by the way.” 

“Joel.” 

“Good to meet you, Joel,” she smiled a little. 

He sat there with her for a while. He liked her well enough, he supposed. She was nice and lightly funny in a way that didn’t cut him deep. But when she smiled, she smiled like you. Slow and easy at first and then spreading wide like your whole self was cracking open with it. Fuck, he’d always loved making you smile like that. He missed making you smile like that. 

So when he finished his beer and didn’t want to be away from that smile, not yet, he asked if she wanted to come back to his place. 

“Sure,” she smiled like you. “That’d be nice.” 

They skipped the pretense of it, not bothering to feel each other up on the couch or make a pot of coffee that would sit untouched until morning. Instead, they went straight to his bedroom, pawing at each other’s clothes and pulling their bodies free of their confines as quickly as possible. 

Joel kissed her deep and hard and desperate and she pressed her soft, plush body against his and it felt good, getting lost in another person like this. It seemed like the only time in his life that he wasn’t stuck living at least halfway in some other reality where things had turned out different was when he was inside someone else. He sought it out like an addict, always searching for that next high, anything that would put him far away from the low he lived in. But he was careful. Always used a condom, always got at least some feel for the woman he was fucking first so he felt like he could trust her. 

But he was reckless with Ashley. He needed to feel something else too bad to put much thought into any of it. He reached for his nightstand and fumbled in the top drawer, pulling the last condom from the box and making a mental note to buy more when he got paid next. He tore it with his teeth and realized too late that he’d caught more than just the foil pack when he did.

“Fuck,” he panted, already naked on top of her. “Do you have…” 

“No,” she said, all breathless and needy below him. “But it’s OK. I’m on the pill and I’m clean. I’m OK with it if you are.” 

He looked down at her in the darkness, the moonlight casting shadows over her face. But then she smiled at him, slow at first then all at once. Just like you. 

“Really,” she said. “It’s fine.” 

“Fuck it,” he said, lining himself up with her entrance, the soft, wet heat of her pulling him in. 

“That’s the idea,” she smiled and then gasped as he pushed into her, chasing that high with her body below him. 

He fucked into her until she came and then she pushed him on his back, fucking herself down on him and Joel looked up at her and got the sense that she was in this for the same reasons he was. That this had very little to do with him. 

“Gonna come,” he warned, his hands on her waist. “Should pull out…” 

“Don’t,” she panted. “About to come again, fuck, just… just let me…” 

Her hands spread wide on his chest and she rode him harder, faster before pushing him in deep and coming around him, the pulsing of her walls setting off his orgasm, only aware enough to care for half a second before it hit that he shouldn’t be coming inside a total fucking stranger. 

She collapsed on top of him and he held her for a moment, not able to shake the feeling that he’d just made a monumental mistake. It reminded him of the morning after prom, the morning after the last time he came inside someone without protection. How afraid he’d been that he’d ruined things for you, that he’d gotten you pregnant and destroyed your life. But he hadn’t. At least, not that he knew of. He just lost you instead.

Ashley left not long after, just a quick “Thanks, Joel. That was fun.” after he gave her a glass of water. They swapped phone numbers but, in the moment, it seemed like pretense. This was what you did after a one night stand to pretend like it wasn’t a one night stand. It felt better if you could lie to yourself and say that every random fuck was just the start of a relationship that didn’t pan out. He didn’t plan to call her. He didn’t expect to hear from her again. 

He was wrong. 

Next Chapter

A/N: We all know what happened there with Ashley, right?

OK, cool.

Hope you all enjoyed this little glimpse at the last time Joel and Goldie saw each other before they reunited at the same bar where Joel picked up Sarah's mom 12 years earlier! These two, they kill me, I swear.

Thanks so much for reading the menace that is high school best friend!Joel. I'm in love with him, I fear. I hope you are, too.

Love you!

[lookismaddict]

Jake Kim x Fem! Reader Oneshot 🔞 || Birthday Gift 🎁

Dedicated to: @hanaa-ogk (Happy early birthday! ❤️)

NSFW: Sexual content including nudity, groping, grinding, penetration, praising, breeding kink, etc.

Scenario: Jake Kim invited you to come over to his place to celebrate your birthday. Little did you know, he actually had something BIG planned for you…

It’s that time of the year again, and it always seems to get old. The more you age, the lesser you tend to get excited for your birthday, acting like it’s no big deal.

However, your perspective changed from just one text message.

Your family held a small birthday party for you, which began in the morning and lasted all the way to the evening. Eating your favorite foods, to blowing out the usual birthday cake, to taking pictures and posting them on Facebook became the yearly norm for you. At least now, everyone is either knocked out on the couch or had gone off to work for the night, leaving you to be the only one who’s still awake in the house.

You were about to head into your room to sleep early for today, until you suddenly heard a notification ping from your phone. Reaching into your pocket for your phone to see what the notification was about, you turned it on to see that it was from none other than your beloved boyfriend, Jake Kim. Involuntarily, your heart began to beat rapidly from the sight of his name on your phone screen.

You scurried over to your room in a rush, then immediately shut the door behind you. Crashing onto your bed with your back landing on your soft mattress, you read his text message with your heart still anxiously pattering away.

“Happy birthday to the prettiest girl in the whole wide world!! 🥳❤️ I hope you had a fun time today with your family. It would’ve been better if I had joined, but you refused to even let me go. 😔”

Giggling at his text message, your fingers quickly tapped away breezily.

“Thank you, my love. 😘 As much as I really missed you today, I didn’t want you to go through all of the embarrassing questions that my parents would have asked you, and force you to have to take pictures with us. I think you’ve already suffered enough. 😅”

“It’s fine! I’m a big boy, I can handle whatever question they throw at me. 😤💪🏽”

“I don’t know, that doesn’t sound so reassuring to me. You would’ve regretted coming over if you did went… 😬”

“Hahahaha!! Since you said that you missed me today, then… How about you come over to my place?”

Raising an eyebrow at his sudden invitation, you questioned him curiously.

“Like… right now? 😳”

“Yeah, right now. I actually have a present waiting for you. If you want to come and pick it up, then you’re going to have to come over and get it yourself. 😎”

You thought about it for a minute until you’ve reached your conclusion.

“Ok, fine. I’ll come over to get it. Geez, you’re lucky that I love you so much. I’m even sacrificing the amount of sleep that I could’ve had right now! 😫”

“Oh, don’t worry love. You’ll get as much sleep as you want eventually. 😏”

Reading that last message caused you to furrow your eyebrows in pure confusion.

“What? Wdym by that? 🤨”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked for you, so just go straight to my room when you get here. I’ll be waiting~”

That was odd. You noticed how he completely ignored that last message that you sent him, but you decided to let it go. After all, you haven’t seen Jake for quite a while now. The thought of coming over to his place made your stomach churn in excitement. You decided to change into your best clothes because of your birthday, but that really wasn’t the main reason why. Wearing a red velvet thigh-lengthed satin dress and black strapped leather heels, you wanted to look pretty in front of your boyfriend and you wanted to impress him.

Before leaving, you left a note on the dinner table saying that you’ll be at Jake’s house for the remainder of the evening. You even took a few slices of your red velvet birthday cake with you, since you knew how much he loved red velvet cake too. That was one of the things that you both have in common. Your love for red velvet cake.

Luckily, Jake’s home wasn’t that far from yours since it was only a ten-minute walk from your house. The two of you lived nearby, so it was common for him to visit you often. Recently though, he’s been busy with his crew, Big Deal, so he couldn’t come over as frequently as he used to. Times were much simpler back then, but you understand the circumstances that he’s been in. Overall, you’re just thankful that you still get to see him and that he still manages to get home in one piece.

Finally, you’ve arrived in front of his doorstep. Like he mentioned in his text, you let yourself in without having to knock on his front door. When you entered his home, you didn’t forget to close and lock the door behind you. Calling out to him from the front door, you said aloud, “Jake, I’m here! I brought some birthday cake for you, so I’ll put it in the fridge first!” It was a while ago since you’ve been in his house again. Taking in the scent of his house, it really did smell like him. It felt nostalgic, walking around in his house again while remembering the little things that you’ve barely noticed within it. Like the pictures hanging on the walls and the furniture placed in certain parts of each room.

You went straight to the kitchen to put the plastic container of cake in his refrigerator. It was an easy task to do, which barely took any of your valuable time. Now heading back towards the front door, you began to creep up the stairs towards his room. With every creaking step, your heart started to pulsate loudly, booming audibly through your chest and in your ears. You didn’t know why, but the ringing in your ears invoked the rising tension of nervousness from within the pit of your stomach, feeling butterflies flutter. You felt your throat become parched, gulping dryly from the built up anticipation.

At last, you’ve reached the final step on top of the staircase. Navigating your way through the dark corridor, the clacking of your heels on the wooden floorboards only made your presence known from outside of his room. At the end of the hallway, you stopped right in front of Jake’s room. You were about to reach for the door knob to open it, but you hesitated. Hovering your hand over it, you closed your eyes then took a deep breath. What is there to be nervous about? It’s just Jake. Was it because you haven’t seen him in forever, that now, it felt awkward to suddenly show up in front of him? It was frustrating how your nerves currently dictated the way you acted.

No. You won’t let the awkwardness ruin your meeting with him. You’ve been looking forward to this day for so long, and now, you finally got what you wanted. You’ve been longing to see him, to touch him, and to hold him in your arms for as long as you can. You’re going to go in there, and show him how much you’ve missed him. Clearly, it’s now or never.

Mustering up the courage to enter his room, your hand instantly went for the door knob. As you twisted it, you barged into his room without any signs of hesitation anymore. While walking into his room happily, you enthusiastically pronounced, “Jake! I’m he- re…”

What in the…?

All of a sudden, your eyes widened and your jaw dropped in shock. Behind you, a small gust of wind from the door shutting sent a slight shiver down your spine, which didn’t help your current case at all. What was it, that really caused you to become immobilized in such a paralyzed state? Right in front of you, was Jake Kim sitting on the side of his bed, smiling at you with such delight that it made your heart leap a few times. “Hey, (Y/N). You’re finally here!” However, your heart didn’t seem to relax, not one bit. Why? It’s because, your boyfriend… wasn’t wearing anything at all. He was completely naked.

It was hard for you to conjure up what to say, when it’s hard to focus only on his face and not his junk. Stammering, you asked, “W-where’s the p-present th-that you… m-mentioned…?” Jake grinned proudly from ear to ear saying, “Love, don’t you get it? I AM, your present.” Still trying to comprehend what he meant by that, you answered in a weak, “W-what…?” He chuckled before leaning a bit back, to reposition himself more comfortably on his bed. Placing his hand near one of his sides on the bed, his other hand motioned you to come closer to him. “Come here, my sweet Babygirl.”

Gulping, you slowly walked towards him cautiously. Jake tilted his head up towards you, gazing into your eyes, as he held both of your hands in his. “My favorite birthday girl looks so beautiful. You’re so breathtaking, wearing such a fancy dress with these heels on. My goddess is making me want to act up. But sadly, I can’t do that right now. It’s your special day of course, so that’s why I’m allowing you to do anything to my body. You can do whatever you want, it’s my treat.” With a teasing smirk, he gave you a flirtatious wink which made you blush heatedly.

You responded in disorganized babbles. “B-but… h-how c-can I… Um… W-where d-do I… e-even…” He laughed at how you were struggling to get the right words out of your mouth. “If you need help, then you don’t have to worry with that pretty little head of yours. Here, I’ll gladly guide you…” Your heart continued to thump wildly, as your breathing was starting to hitch in agitation.

He took one of your hands and brought it onto his lips, kissing the back of your hand affectionately while glancing straight into your eyes. His eye contact on you didn’t once relieve your agitation. Commenting in almost an inaudible whisper with his lips pressed onto your hand, he said while admiring it, “You have such a beautiful hand, (Y/N). With long dainty fingers like these, they make me want to do this to them…” Jake then brought your index finger onto his lips, kissing it until he began to suck on it seductively. The temperature on your face was rising while witnessing a rare event that’s unfolding in front of you.

It was rare to see Jake so provocative, as if some sort of sex demon had possessed him. Often times, you regarded him as an angel, almost too good for someone to be as perfect as a heavenly being. His heart was big enough to fit every person that he knew in it, to care for them. Gentle and kind. His mind was so sharp, that he can cut someone with his own righteousness. A selfless, justice-seeking hero. But most importantly, his personality was so precious to you, that Jake became the most favorable treasure that you've ever cherished in your heart. A man whose whole character was made out of the finest mineral of gold.

That may be what you've interpreted from him ever since you met Jake Kim. However, you can't seem to wrap your head around this rare side of him. Another personality of his, that was unfamiliar to you. So alluring, so tempting, and yet, so bold. His large brawny hand played with your fingers, while his mouth gave them each his sweet attention. Kissing them, licking them, and sucking on them made you even more tense than before. He groaned every time his lips made contact with one of your digits, coating each one with his saliva, claiming them as his own. Noticing that you've been standing in front of him for an awfully indefinite amount of time, he stopped and encouraged you to hither closer to him, making himself more accessible to you. "Come on baby, I know you're itching to use me. No need to be so scared…" The way his free hand slid up the side of your hip and snaked onto your ass from behind, sent a warm feeling of exhilaration throughout your body. Your heat quivered from his smooth touches, which brought about the crossing of your legs. He caught onto your resistance from him, scolding you in a chastising manner. "Ah, ah, ah. Don't hide it. I want your body to be honest with me. If you hide it, then how are you going to properly use your gift now?" Jake sets your hand down gently onto your side, then placed both of his hands onto your thick thighs. With a strong grip on both, he pulled your legs apart to force you to spread for him. You gasped at how assertive he was with you, not knowing how to even react to him for being so intimidating. Eyeing the speedy travels of his hands onto your hips, he clasped the side of your hips then pulled you onto his lap to sit on his own manhood. Startled, your hands immediately held onto his shoulders in search of support to balance yourself while your legs hung on both sides of his bent knees.

From underneath your dress, you could make out the sensation of his massive thickness pressed onto the thin cloth of your underwear, twitching from the contact of the outline of your puffy folds. And you thought Jake wouldn't notice the drenched patch on your underwear? He angled his head down to see you squirming, only from the slight friction of his hard length on your veiled private. The scent of your juices permeating through your wet panties onto his solid structure caused him to groan in arousal. With a playful reverberation on the back of his throat, he cooed, "Baby, I know you felt it too. Now, tell me. What do you want me to do? You know I won't do anything, unless you give me an order." From behind your frame, his hand dragged along your exposed back in a beguiling slither, taking a lock of your hair and twirling it around his finger in a frivolous form. You were at your wits' end, huffing in sexual frustration due to how Jake was luring you into his trap. Birthday present or not, it was just an excuse for you and him to sink into your deepest desires.

If he wants you to take initiative, then so be it. Shyly, you whispered, "P-please… t-touch me…" Jake raised an eyebrow, displaying a superficial expression of cluelessness. "Touch you? What do you mean?" Biting your bottom lip, you looked at him innocently with those crystal irises of yours. "T-touch m-me… here…" You lifted your dress from beneath you, to unveil the soaked spot of your white laced panties dribbling onto his phallus. Jake then grinned in perception, pretending that he finally grasped the concept of what you were advising him to do. "Ah, you meant down there…" He whistled, marveling at the sight of how your cunt's fluids were now accumulating a pool of your transparent sap onto his girth, down to the base of where his protuberant balls were. "Would you look at that? You're already wet, princess. You want me to touch you here…?" You observed as his hand drew closer to your aching core. His fingers brushed delicately against the soppy fabric of your warmth, eliciting a moan through your glossy lips.

Jake's smile was nothing more than a display of entertainment. He continued to rub on that irresistible spot where your clit was located at, irking you to clench onto his shoulders more steadily. Your dark eyelashes fluttered in elation, as you mewled out to him in hushed tones. "Hngh, Jake… Oh, Jake~" Casually, he removed his hand from your condensation. Your needy eyes bore into his own with a desperate plea asking, "Jake, please… Why…?" He merely replied, "My lovely girl, I'm only going to suggest what's best for you, but you're going to have to tell me yourself. I'm your slave for today, so you make the choices here. Do you want me to help remove these for you?" Both his index finger and thumb snatched onto the hem of your intricately white underwear. You nodded, but then Jake didn't budge. Sighing, he laughed at your adorable sheepishness. "You're supposed to communicate to me, love. Remember? I only follow orders."

Faltering, you instructed him by commanding, "P-please… Help m-me… R-remove my… P-panties for me…" With a proud grin, he replied with, "Of course, princess." His hands carefully strung them off you, through one leg at a time. He meticulously helped you out by directing you to rest your knees onto his bed for only a brief period. It didn't take long for him to slide each side off each leg, now exposing your slit for him to view. Your bloated creases are currently touching his veiny package, giving him a small taste of how wet your cunt is from its exterior. Jake can now visibly see your swollen red bud, inflamed in all of its nerves, aching to be touched once again. His eyes focused back onto yours, asking with a hint of hope to resuming his servicing, "Would you like for me to continue, birthday girl?" You responded in a timid, "Yes, please…", before he started working his fingers onto your clit again.

The sensation of his experienced digits was very pleasurable to you, earning moans of bliss while Jake gave you the best fingering that a girl could ever ask for. Your facial expression grew into twisted titillation, arms swarming around his neck and sighing into his ear sinfully crying out, "Ahhh… Jake, i-it… f-feels… mmph- good…" He turned his head to take a glimpse at how teary your eyes have turned, due to his fingers flicking your clit, applying pressure that collected an even louder moan out of you. "Does it feel good, my love? Am I satisfying you, how you wanted?" Unstable as your sanity was, you answered him back nodding, "Yes, i-it's… so g-good… Hah… P-please, m-more… I w-want it… Ahhh… i-inside…" Clinging onto him with your arms around his neck, you rocked your hips onto his hand, indicating that you needed more attention to your breathing core. The vibration of your vagina contracted repeatedly inside of you, as if begging for him to be the one to satiate you in that region.

He was a bit awestricken at how needy you've become, especially when it was only from his hand. Snickering, he said, "With pleasure, my love." His digits teased your entrance first, touching to feel how soaked your heat had become from the treatment he was giving you on your clit. Your whines was what sent Jake into slight sadism. How ironic, to witness a slave actually enjoying feeding into your sensual distress. "Jake, please…" Chuckling to himself at your despair, he confessed, "I'm sorry baby, I couldn't help myself. You're cute whenever you beg for me like that." Subsequently, Jake plunged a finger deep into you with one slick. He didn't have any trouble inserting it, since your body fluids acted as the lube he really needed. Over and over again, he prodded them in and out of you, fascinated by the erotic sounds he was making while stirring up your insides. You wriggled under his touch actively. Head pointed up towards the ceiling, eyes rolling back into your head, mouth drooling from the corners of your lips, and larynx emitting the most lewdest of noises, became the pinnacle vision that Jake had ever laid eyes on. This phenomena that he was witnessing sounded like music to his ears.

"Mmmnnn… Jake, r-right th-there…" Your broken voice lit something inside of Jake, that he hadn't felt in forever. How long has it been since he had touched you, and pleased you like this? He couldn't recall, but he was familiar with the incredible sounds that you were making. It was thrilling to say the least, but there was more to it that Jake could describe. Just seeing his girl go mad due to his own touches, really grew on him. Being that special someone to witness this obscene side of you was one of the unique aspects of your relationship that he had fallen to. This became his addiction. His guilty pleasure. His sinful calling. It was torture having to stay away from you for a while to take care of some crew related business. When times were rough, he wanted to hold you in his arms, and never let you go. But, oh, how he missed pleasuring you and making you go weak in the sheets…

Jabbing another finger into you, you wailed in euphoric discords. His fingers curled at that deep angle, that caused you to throw your head back in symphonic rapture. You were panting, tears trickling down the sides of your rosy cheeks from the heat and the carnality. The sound of your voice became hoarse, from all of the moaning you were broadcasting in his room, which ricochet off of the sturdy walls. These noises became one of the main sounds that hypnotized Jake to do more for you. Jake whispered into your ear, whetting you on with his sexy voice. "Do you hear it, (Y/N)? Do you hear how dirty these sounds are? Mmmm… you sound like you're having way too much fun with this. Did you miss it? Me, giving you my attention?" You were unable to respond to him, too engrossed in the intensity of the reverence that he's generously granting you. "My poor girl, you must be lonely. Not having to have your kind boyfriend to give you what you needed. That's alright, sweetheart. I'm here now to give you what you want…" When his fingers punctured your g-spot harder, the opening of your jaw slacked, vocalizing a louder response of contentment from you. Your elastic walls have been coiling around his fingers, leaving a cold shudder to bolt right through your entire body. His sweet-talking left a rich impression to your ears, that it so happened to turn you on even more. Chuckling in satisfaction, he implied, "There you go. There's the sound that I love to hear. Let it all out, (Y/N). You know how much I love hearing your gorgeous voice. God, you're still so tight. Let's loosen you up, okay? See, you're even sucking up my fingers down here…" Whimpering, you didn't know how much you could take it. You're so close to orgasming, that Jake was doing so well, working you up to your peak. In fragmented sobs, you moaned his name steamily. "Ja- ahhh… -aaake… Jaaa- uhn… -ake…" Keen to your dejected squeals, he pressed attentively, "What is it, baby? Tell me." With your body trembling, your eyes stared into his on impulse, warning him, "I-I… hah… I-I'm… c-close…" Jake responded heedlessly, "Oh, are you now? That's good. Go on then, love. Cum for me." The movement of his pointers got rougher by the minute. Your pussy began to resonate around him, clenching in and out around his feelers while your heart raced like it was going to burst. He sensed his fingers being swallowed up by your gash, soothing you through your overstimulation. "Ease into it… That's it, good girl~" Chanting in libidinous prayer, you begged in between sobs, "Jake… hic- P-please… don't… s-stop…" Leaning his face closer to the side of your face, he kissed one of your saturated cheeks, alleviating you of the knot that was building up in your stomach. "Don't worry my precious girl, I won't." Cascades of shimmering tears escaped from your long lashes then down your cheeks, where his lips were still pressed onto one of them. With one final cry, your body convulsed and climaxed onto his hand, showering your own discharge that has now gotten all over his lap, including his dick.

The lingering stimulation of your jubilation resulted you to produce bodily tremors. Panting while trying to catch your breath on how explosively gratifying his fingering game was, Jake rewarded you with a tender kiss on your forehead. "You did so well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." Exhausted, your voice wavered saying, "Th-thank… you…" He rest his dry hand on the top of your head and patted your head gently with care, smiling dotingly at you. "You're very welcome, love. I love treating you, in any way possible. Even when we're both alone together, like how we are right now." He playfully winked at you, drawing his fluid-covered hand closer to his mouth, licking his own hand clean from your vaginal discharge. This naughtiness of his spurred you to blush before letting out a diverted giggle after he was done cleaning himself up. You kissed him back on his cheek, treasuring his sincerity towards you.

His fingers trailed down the sides of your hair, stroking a lock from your head, bringing it onto his lips to kiss it. “My beloved birthday girl, we have a long way to go. What else do you want me to do, besides me satisfying you with my fingers?” Without having to think about it, you answered straightaway with, “Help me strip.” Jake was somewhat surprised at your forwardness, that he had to laugh. “You now getting used to ordering me around, princess?” The red flush on your cheeks returned, as you shook your head in denial. “N-no, I was just-” Jake interrupted to console you. “Babe, I’m kidding. No need to stress, alright? It’s your special day, so I’m happy to serve you as best as I can. Here, let me help you with your dress.” 

Jake gently stripped you by starting at the dress’s spaghetti straps. On the left, he grabbed onto it and nudged it off to the side. “Ok, can you slip out of it from here?” You nodded with an affirmative, “Yeah.”, pulling your own arm out to be set free from the strap’s restriction. He did the same for the opposite one, and right when both straps have been removed, he held your dress from the sides then gave you a request. “Can you hold your arms up, like you’re reaching for the stars?” As silly as his instruction may sound, you obeyed him, surveying how he pulled your dress off in one vertical sweep. 

After doing so, your body became half naked, with your private out in the open and your chest still concealed underneath a pretty white strapless underwire bra. Jake’s eyes narrowed in desire at the visibility of how well the bra fit your breasts so perfectly. The only words that he could muster were, “My Angel…”, which sent your heart on a mile run and the rest of your body in a scorching frenzy, that you could’ve sworn that your entire face had turned into a delectable cherry. Jake is currently dealing with a self-restraint conflict in his head. The urge to snatch it off of you in one go tempted him greatly, but he knew he had to behave himself for tonight. Resisting the desire to rip the bra off of you, Jake confronted you by asking straightforwardly. “Will you let me remove it for you?” Nodding, you gave him permission to do so. 

Automatically, he tossed your dress at the end of the bed while his hands seized the strap from behind you to unclip your bra. Fiddling with it impatiently, Jake cursed under his breath saying, “Why are these things so hard to put on and take off?” At least he was aware of one of the struggles that women have to go through. You laughed at him struggling to unclasp your bra from behind. Agreeing with him, you jostled, “That’s what ‘being a woman’ is all about, Jake.” Jake clicked his tongue in frustration, still trying to unlatch your bra from behind. “Now, I feel for all of you women. The struggle IS real. Why can’t society just… free the breasts instead?” You continued to laugh at his unintentional jokes, loving how he suddenly turned into an advocate for women because of your bra. An unexpected click was heard from behind you, as Jake cheered in victory. “Aha! I finally got it off!” When he got your bra off, he chucked it at the same spot where your dress was located at. Giggling in pride for your boyfriend’s achievement, you jested, “Good boy, Jakey! Do you want head pats?” You reached your hand over to the top of his head to pet his head, smoothing your fingers through his soft dark hair. 

Jake leaned his head closer to you to give you access to his head, while he crooned in a receptive fashion. “That feels nice…“, he opined in glee. Smiling, you asked, “Really?” He nodded in response. “Yeah, it does. But…” He grabbed onto the hand that was petting him, by the wrist, then transferred it onto his drenched cock that was covered in your juices. Whispering into your ear, he uttered, “It would feel a lot better if this was inside you. Wouldn’t you agree?” Your face lit up in a glowing panic, unable to say a single word but a startled cheep. It was like you flipped his switch somehow, and you didn’t know how. It was WAY too sudden. The bashfulness on your face was an adorable state for him to witness, which influenced him to tease you further. Feeling his breath on your ear, he proceeded to whisper sweet nothings for you to get off on. “It’s yours, baby. Do anything you want to it, and to me. Tell me what you really want. Make me follow your orders, for tonight…” You felt both of his hefty arms fastened around your waist. With you still sitting on top of his lap, the built up arousal within you started to rise bit by bit. Your breathing became shakier than usual, as your flustered body felt the rush of heat coursing through your heaving lungs. 

Whatever he was doing was working, and he knew that for a fact. He’s doing all this on purpose, making it unbearable for you to withstand his teasing and his seduction. When was he ever a sucker for words like that? All this sweet-talking was making you squirm and scoot yourself closer onto his wet balls, as if pleading him to help you relieve yourself from your sexual rut. The beating of your heat became torturous. It was magnifying to even be drawn to him in the first place, but the way he was provoking you indirectly without having to caress your sensitive spots or to graze even the slightest millimeter of your skin was harrowing. Easing into your breaking point further, Jake chuckled, asking with an impish smile on his mug. “Am I turning you on, princess? I can feel your kitty twitching on my crotch…” You were at your limit. Instinctively, you propped your arms over his shoulder, returning your arms around his neck where they rightfully belong. As you began to move your hips back and forth, you straddled his groin, showing him how much you needed him right now. “Jake, I need you…” The instance when you stared at him with your puppy-dog eyes, and the whining that can be heard from the back of your uvula, stirred up something inside of Jake that it affected how his cock acted. When he looked down at his crotch, he saw his own prick twinging on his stomach, standing up on end. His tip was swollen in a hint of red, aching for some attention. The veins on the sides of his prong were bulging, clearly from the blood flowing onto his scorching dick. The self restraint that he had to endure was painful to him, that he couldn’t do anything but to wait for your instructions on when or how he should act. The discipline that he had to go through was driving his mental state onto the edge. 

Still trying to patiently restrain himself, he sneered in impatience still trying to maintain his character. Questioning in a stern tone, he asked, “Need me for what?” You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration too, but your profile was more expressive and obvious than his was. The both of you wanted each other badly, yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He had to rely on you to make the first move. At that moment, your words sprung out of your mouth like they were dying to be heard, since they were trapped in the back of your throat. There was no room for guilt, or shamefulness anymore. Your desire for him was enough for you to communicate to him about how much you needed his skin on yours. “I need you to make love to me, Jake. Please, I can’t wait anymore! I want you to touch me, to run your hands all over my body… And I need you inside of me, and I want you to do anything and everything to me!! Just… show me how much you love me…” Jake’s eyes widened at your boldness, as he felt a pang in his chest, relieved to have his silent prayers heard in the back of his mind. Smirking, he asked while loosening his grip on your waist by retracting one of his hands to cup your face with care. His facial expression softened, gazing straight into your eyes with such sympathy. “My babygirl… Are you sure that you want me to do ‘anything and everything’ to you?  I might not be able to hold myself back if I do.” You glanced back at him, nodding. Sighing, he smiled adoringly at you, thinking of how his birthday plan for you had completely gone down the drain. So much for self restraint. 

The corner of his mouth slightly curved upward, as his lips grew into a mischievous smile. “You better not regret giving me power, (Y/N).” Jake didn’t hesitate to recoil his arm back around your waist. Now standing up on both of his feet, he hoisted you up with him, forcing you to intuitively cling onto his body tightly. Your arms wrapped around his neck firmly than before while your legs did the same around his waist, looking like you were trying to grapple him. He turned around to face the bed, crawling deeper into it with you hugging him fixedly. From far away, the scene could easily be compared to a picture of a big parental koala carrying a baby koala on its chest. As Jake rearranged a few pillows in a stack against his bed board, he crashed his back onto them, acting like he was leaning into a couch. As his grip around you released onto both of his sides on the mattress, his eyes shifted towards your figure beneath him, still hugging him ever so securely. 

You tilted your head up to take a glimpse at him, and you caught him staring at you. Curiously, you asked, “What’s wrong, Jake?” He tittered to himself, shaking his head airily, emphasizing that it was nothing serious. “I just realized how small you looked under me. You’re really an adorable girl…” he placed his hand on the back of your head and pressed you close onto his chest, stroking your head in a comforting manner. You sighed into him, bounding your own body against him with such peace. Altering the way you were sitting, you unlocked your legs from around his waist then folded your knees on both of his sides to sit flatly on his lap. After getting yourself comfortable, your cheek became mushed up onto one of his hard pecs, leaving you to murmur softly, “I missed you, Jake. I really did.” 

Jake withdrew himself from you for a bit, sloping his head downwards to look into your eyes amorously, cherishing your words. He was relieved to hear those words of affirmation, which recovered him from the sense of loneliness and guilt that had built up inside him while he was off fulfilling his leadership obligations. He was glad to know that your love for him didn’t waver, while he was absent from your side. Staring back into your eyes, he smiled sincerely. “I missed you too, beautiful. I’m sorry that I’ve been busy recently. I realized that being apart from you, really took its toll on me. It drove me insane, being unable to see you for so long. Honestly, there hasn’t been a single day without you, that I didn’t think of you. Because…” When his voice trailed off into silence, your head tilted to the side attentively. His face had this calculated expression, as he tried to ponder for the right words to express how he felt. Your curiosity got to you, pressing him a bit more for him to continue onward with his explanation. “Because…?” Eventually, his eyebrows furrowed in a serious demeanor. With eyes that sparked with resolution, he grasped one of your hands that was raveled around his neck, then brought the back of your hand onto his lips. “…Because I love you so much, (Y/N). You mean everything to me, that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I had lost you.” Those words made your worries fade away into nothingness. Burying your last remaining desolation that was once there, to willfully decay on its own.

How can he be so confident and sure about his feelings for you, like that? While Jake was away, you didn’t think that he’d have the time of day to even think of you or miss you since you assumed that he’d be immersed in his duties as a crew leader of Big Deal. Who knew that guys who held a lot of responsibilities, such as Jake, would be longing to see their significant other with such yearning? It really did put you to shame, doubting him and thinking all this time that his passion for you must’ve diminished since he’s been too busy as of late. Believing that he didn’t need you by his side anymore, just because he’s been occupied by another matter. The regret that you had for doubting him once, raised a heavy sensation in your chest. Your breathing became shaky, and as Jake noticed this, he placed his hand on your back in concern. Worry swept over his profile, when he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” All of a sudden, he felt his heart split right when he saw tears cascading from your dewey eyes.  His eyes expanded in shock due to your unexpected sobbing. Panicked and discomfited, questions flooded in his mind, mostly pertaining to how and why you started crying. Frantically, he probed, “Why baby, what’s wrong? Was it something I said?? Did I say something that might’ve upset you???” Jake sat up to straighten his posture against the tower of pillows behind him. The upper half of his body bent forward to hold your face with both of his hands. Tilting your face up to take a closer look at you, his eyes dimmed in sorrow when your strained red eyes made contact with his. 

Sniffling, you mustered a, “I-I’m… hic- ...s-sorry, Jake… f-for d-doubting you… sniff- …a-and f-f-or think- ugh… -ing that y-you don’t… l-love me a-any… more…”  Jake’s thumbs brushed over the creases of your eyes, wiping your tears away from your swollen eyes. He kissed your cheek before he released your face, transitioning his arms to confine around you until they have enveloped your weak shell, pulling you closer onto him. His hand on your back soothed you, rubbing you from behind while hushing you. By kissing your forehead and by displaying how much he loves you, he comforted you with his compassionate gestures, as he lulled, “Shhh… It’s ok, love. I understand where you’re coming from, and I forgive you. I’m really sorry that I made you feel that way. I shouldn’t have left you for so long, unattended and alone. It pains me to see you cry, and I want to make it up to you.  Please, let me redeem myself. Not only as your boyfriend, but as your lover. I want you to be proud, and to believe that I’ll love you no matter what we’re going through. I assure you that whatever obstacle we have to tackle on our own, we won’t be separated. Whether it’s through thick and thin…” Jake pried himself for only a second, eyeing you with a strong sense of devotion. “I’ll keep protecting you, supporting you, and cherishing you, even if it means that I can still love you forever. There’s no way that I’ll give up on you. You’re the only one who can love me and understand me for who I really am, and that is already enough for me to want to keep you close to me.” 

Rubbing your own eyes from the leftover residue of your tears, a confident smile bloomed on your face, as you inquired, “Jake… Tell me, what did I do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend?” His eyes closed, holding his own chin in a curious fashion as if trying to ponder for the actual answer that’s buried deep within his mind. “Hmmm… Was it your beauty? Your kindness? Your hospitality? I’m not quite sure. But actually, I’m a HUNDRED PERCENT certain, that it must’ve been the way you caught my big ol’ ass from a mile away. Oh yeah, that’s definitely it! I know for a fact, that you couldn’t keep your eyes off of it. Love at first sight, am I right?” He opened one of his eyes, then gave you a cheeky grin. Laughing at his absurd theory, you struck his chest with a light smack, snapping at him humorously by saying, “As if my eyes would look for it in the first place! You’re giving your butt too much credit, here!”  Your rebuttal made him laugh back at you, leading to you and him debating for about five minutes on what really was up with his butt. As the two of you teased each other and joked around, your laughs eventually died down, resulting the both of you to look at each other gaily. Jake’s mouth arched into a praiseful beam, ultimately proclaiming, “I love you, (Y/N).” A shade of scarlet engulfed your cheeks, inciting an enthused thumping from your heart. You smiled, glowing in all of your beauty when you responded gingerly, “I love you too, Jake Kim.” The approach to your response, concerning how you emphasized his name had somehow pulled at his heartstrings. It was of course, on purpose. Confirming that the message was meant for the only “Jake Kim” in your life. The Jake Kim who holds a special place in your heart.

Repeating inside his head as if rewinding that sweet moment that happened not to long ago, he delved himself into a deep burning passion for you. Closing the gap between one another, his lips gently merged with yours, holding you in his arms even more snuggly than ever before. Your arms braced around his neck, while you kissed him dearly. His tongue slipped in between your sugary lips, coaxing your tongue to dance passionately with his. Your hands glided up the nape of his neck and through his soft somber hair, moaning into his mouth like a thirst deprived woman. Jake’s senses were starting to slip away from him, when all he can see, breathe, and taste is you. The movement of his tongue in your mouth grew rougher by the minute, which resulted in you to adjust to his pace. His groans and your moans, including the heavy breathing that was shared among both pairs of ears, caused you two to become feral for each other. His hands began to roam greedily throughout your body, caressing and groping every inch that could possibly make you squeal even louder. His hands found your soft doughy breasts, kneading and fondling them. On both hands, he used the flats of his thumbs to play with your areola by swirling them lightly around them, until he could hear those addictive whimpers of yours. Next he decided to rub your nipples back and forth, stimulating such a wonderful reaction from you, by making it harder for you to kiss him back feverishly. The “Mmmm”’s and the “Ahhhh”’s that increased in volume from his experienced handling really did influenced his private to convert into one delicious erection. Even though he was highly turned on by you, he’s still such a cruel Tease King, enjoying every moment he could get for you to struggle to return the same amount of love he was erotically giving you. Could you even keep up with him now, even during the current state that you’re in? 

Unaware of your own actions, he felt you instigating friction onto his stiff member, which earned a few grunts from him while he played with your breasts with his hands and your mouth with his twisted tongue. Jake was aware of how well his skills were in bed. He couldn’t wait to get in between your legs and bed you so good, to the point that he can hear your needy cries once more. However his conscience told him otherwise, thinking in the back of his head, that your own bliss comes first. Watching you grinding your aroused heat onto him, he smirked, already coming up with the best way to tease you. “Look at you, my pretty baby is moving her hips on her own. Do you want to put it in yourself? It’s your call, (Y/N). I know you gave me the right to do ‘anything and everything’ to you, but I’m passing the torch back to you once again. Right now, it’s all about you, since it’s your birthday after all.” 

With drool dropping down the side of your mouth, you kept rubbing against his phallus while babbling, “Ugh~ I-I want t-to… Ahhh~ P-put i-it in… So b-badly… P-please, l-let me… do it…” Chuckling at your selfish request, he shrugged casually like he didn’t think too seriously of it when he answered, “Go ahead, you’re already being so desperate that you’re basically already begging to do anything to get my cock inside of you.” Jake suddenly raised his pelvis onto your slick folds, rubbing himself onto you slowly in a torturous fashion. He caught you by surprise, moaning in response while gazing at him, who now had lust clouded over his eyes. Not only did his movements fuel your arousal, but it also fed his too. His goal really was to make your pussy starve for his meat. To crave the desperate need to be satiated, giving your poor cunt that was clenching on nothing, to be filled with his whole entire length. 

He laughed lowly at your reactions, mewling at how his dick grated against your sensitive nerves underneath you. “You’re a needy little girl, aren’t you? Haha, so spoiled~ I can tell by the look on your face, that you’ve been dying to feel me again, huh? Don’t worry, I won’t steal the spotlight from you. Here, go and put it in for me~” Finally giving you mercy, he stopped his friction against you. Your whole body trembled from the residual feeling of his private leaving your entrance. Positioning yourself to hover over his erection, Jake eyed you meticulously. He wouldn’t dare miss such a phenomenal sight to behold. Holding onto the end of his hardened rod near his balls, you elevated yourself about an inch above his entire length. Using his tip, you brought yourself down onto his shaft and probed it onto your entrance, smearing his oozing pre-cum onto your moistened self. The sounds that manifested from your naughty privates scraping each other brought about groans from both of you, leaving you to sigh minimally and Jake to transfer his hands firmly onto your thighs that were resting beside his hips. Fastening your grip onto his staff, you slowly lowered yourself down onto his stiffness until you felt him finally spreading your tractable insides out in one slippery swoop. Jake groaned loudly in response, with your warm juicy pussy cocooning around his rod, sensing every inch of him being hugged tightly within you. Simultaneously, you let out a noisy whimper when he finally bottomed out once you felt his tip bump onto your cervix. Both of you stared deeply into each other’s eyes, now fully aware that at this point, there’s no turning back. 

Jake’s intense gaze slowly lowered until they were fixated at the sight of both of your bodies now connected as one. In a husky voice, he respired with great infatuation, “Now THAT, is a beautiful sight to see.” He chuckled in between his own speech of admiration. “Go on, (Y/N). Ride me to your heart’s content. I’m all yours for the night anyways, and I’m here to satisfy my girl generously for her birthday.” His breath grew even thicker than usual, now feeling the heat of your snug hole reverberating along with his own cock twitching inside you, as if eagerly signaling you to begin moving. With a slight pant, you nodded softly as your cheeks became rosier. You positioned your hands onto his beautifully sculpted abs, then began to bounce slowly. With every rock of your hips, you moaned, feeling his rigidity scraping your insides as it repeatedly hit your good spot. Jake watched in awe as you dribbled your hips over and over again, onto his thick shaft. His breathing hitched in reaction to your moaning and your needy movements, which forced him to moan with you in rapture. The way his hands glided from your thighs all the way up to your hips to hold you in such a secure grip while you ride him, made you bite your bottom lip in bliss. A sexy moan escaped Jake’s lips when he coaxed in a provocatively soothing manner. “That’s right, (Y/N). Use me. Right now, you deserve all of the attention on you. Mmm… that’s it, gorgeous. You really are beautiful (Y/N), when you bounce on my cock like that. Even your eyes says it all too.” His hands then began caressing your sides, which sent shivers down your spine as you continued to use your boyfriend for you own pleasure. You became so sensitive to his touches. No matter how light he was touching you, it really sent tingles down your entire body. 

While watching you cry out in ecstasy, Jake couldn’t help but find your sweet satisfaction to be deeply intoxicating. The way you were desperately crashing your own hips down onto his groin while you moaned euphorically was such a wondrous sight to behold. Not only were you moving yourself on your own accord, but the way you were passionately gazing down at him as if your pleasure was his pleasure as well, made him feel prouder than ever. He let out an amused chuckle as he asked suggestively with a slight hint of mischief. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you, princess? Do you want me to help you out?” You were unable to control your thought processing, since you were losing your senses to the feeling of pure pleasure. While mewling in contentment, you vigorously nodded. Your mind was too caught up in bliss, that you couldn’t wrap your head around what Jake was about to do. Without hesitation, Jake instinctively bent his knees while his feet laid fixedly on the bed. After that, he held you by your hips once again until he began to move rhythmically with you, thrusting himself into you from below you. His hips bucked every time he raised himself to collide with your body much more forcefully. You were simply caught off guard by his sudden movements that you threw your head back and let out a loud moan. Satisfied by your reaction, he smirked slightly, enjoying the way he was giving you a boost to your enjoyment. “Does that feel better than before, baby? Do you want me to go faster?” You whined in a needy fashion before crying out in a shaky voice, “Y-yes… pleeease, J-Jake… faster~!!” Those words were enough to drive Jake to the edge as he began to rut himself into you faster, like you implied him to. He clutched your sides a bit tighter than before, pulling you down onto him to meet with his thrusts. A loud cry emitted from your mouth as you slammed your hips continuously, as the both of you went at each other with passionate grinds and movements. You exclaimed through sinful moans to him saying, “J-Jake, you… Ahhh~ feel so… Mmmm~! Good in-… s-side me~!!!” While breathing intensely, Jake grinned proudly due to the way he was making you extremely good at this very moment. “Oh, really? Am I making you feel that good, princess? You know, we’re just getting started, right?” His eyes glowed in lustful passion towards you. “I plan to give you all of me tonight on your special day, so I’ll be very generous to you…” One of his hands slid down to your front as he began to play with your clit while the both of your bodies continued to crash against one another, flicking your bundle of nerves with ease. Swishing his hand over it back and forth made you lose your senses further, which influenced you to clench your insides even more around him. Jake let out a gruntled moan, as he felt your vice grip around his solidity lock onto him. “You like that, don’t you (Y/N)? I can tell from the way you tightened around me, just now. You’re such a naughty girl, baby.”  His teasing didn’t help your case at all, as you continued to moan in carnality for him. “Just say the word, and I’ll take you there. That’s a promise, love. I’ll do it, just for you and only for you. So tell me… what would you like me to do for you?” His sensual invitation caused your body to tremble, in which you mumbled incoherently. “P-please, mmm~!! M-make me…”  

Jake’s smirk widened as he continued to tease you until he was satisfied with your answer. “What was that, my love? I couldn’t quite hear you. Speak up, and make it clear for your boyfriend to hear.” Jake continued to play with your clit, which directed you to arch your back and for your eyes to roll back into your head out of pleasure. Your breaths were hotter than ever, as you struggled to keep your voice from becoming unevenly inaudible to comprehend. “J-… Ahhh~!! -ake, please… m-make me… hah… c-cum~!!!” With your body twitching and your voice trembling every time he was pleasing your sensitive spots, Jake loved seeing this side of you even more. The desperation, the vulnerability, and the way he was making you all feeble for him gets him even more excited by the minute. He wants to keep on loving you like this, until you couldn’t think twice about him ever leaving you again. The knot inside both of you was clearly building up more and more, and that was a sign for Jake to step up his game. Finally giving you mercy from all of his teasing, his eyes narrowed much more seriously when he gave a low and affirmative suggestion, “Then, let me help you out until the end.” 

The grasp on your hip with his opposite hand grew more fixed, as his actions began to speed up. Both of his hips and his hand on your aching bud exponentially incremented in speed which caused your jaw to fall widely open, vocalizing one of the most satisfyingly loud moans of pleasure that Jake has ever heard from you in his life. It was natural for him to smirk a bit, in which your glorious cries and whimpers left a very positive impression on him as they boosted his ego. “Am I giving you what you wanted? You know how much you deserved this. It’s my treat after all, for my most precious girl in the whole wide world.” His smirk widened, as he watched you fall deeper into blissful madness. Your bounces were becoming sloppier than ever, jutting yourself harder onto him while he jabs his entire length deep within you from the bottom. From the rising tension within you, you could feel how close you were in tasting that sweet elated peak of yours. 

The jargon that was intermingled with your mewls of delectation was all gibberish. They would have sounded childish, like some sort of nonsensical gobbledegook that a mere baby would be babbling about, if a third party were to witness such a passionate and intimate scene between you and your boyfriend. However, your blathers of indistinguishable words gave Jake the satisfaction that he was doing his job well. So well, that it was all music to his ears. The way you sucked his cock in like a strong vacuum sent him into a spiral of lustful passion and desire. All of Jake’s pent up sexual frustration that he had to conceal and keep all to himself while he was away from you, was finally being put to work into giving you what you deserved. It was complete paradise for the both of you, and you both truly needed this.

“Mmm… goddamn, baby. You really know how to tighten up on me, don’t you? I can tell, that you’re very close.” Jake’s lips concaved upward into more of a mischievous grin, obviously entertained by the way you were giving it your all on him as well. The way you were hammering yourself deeply onto his girth while making sure you were getting every inch of pleasure for yourself, made this all worthwhile. At that moment, Jake believed that this event was really worth waiting for, and he wouldn’t miss your birthday for the world if he get to view something as great of a sight as this. Your intense pants, your loud symphonic moans, and your face that was scrunched up in immense pleasure delivered quivers down Jake’s body. Although, it wasn’t long until you were about to reach your orgasm. The more you felt that wave of pleasure rising within your stomach, the more you felt your heart racing by the minute and the more you sensed your body shaking in extreme decadence. Everything felt so overwhelming to you, that you were about to explode any second. “J-… aaake~!! I-I’m feel l-like… I-I’m going t-to… burst~!!!” Jake noticed the shakiness both in your voice and your body, as he continued to hold you by the hips potently. While still jamming his love-stick into you, he moaned in between his uneven respirations. “It’s alright, my love. Just let it all out, for me.” His encouraging instantly made you let go of all your inhibitions and tensions from your body. With one final cry of delightful pleasure, you gave his cock a powerful clench as you climaxed all over your boyfriend’s rod. Your body contracted around him, which influenced Jake to emit a loud groan and release all of his warm load into you, spraying deep within your private until you were filled to the very depths. Your body twitched due to the lingering feeling of pleasure still residing inside of you, as you sat there with his dick warming your cave, all nice and snug.

Fatigued as you were, you slowly removed yourself from Jake, as his prong sprung out from you in a messy plop. As Jake observed your every action while trying to catch his breath, he watched as his translucent seed came trickling down in between your thighs and down your legs. He chuckled triumphantly at such a marvelous sight, as he breathed out in satisfaction, “Whew, you’re so breathtaking, (Y/N). You really know how to make a guy go crazy for you.” While praising you, you collapsed beside him onto the bed and rested one of your arms on his lean chest while the other was propped against the tower of pillows below Jake’s head. You caressed his hair soothingly in an adoring fashion, displaying your signs of appreciation for the wonderful birthday gift he just gave you. He tilted his head down to smile lovingly at you, as he leaned in to give you an affectionate kiss on your forehead while stroking your hair. “You were so passionate, love. You really missed me that badly, huh? And plus, I forgot how adorable your O-face was. I really did miss seeing that.” Your eyes widened a bit at that last part that he mentioned, which led you to blush in embarrassment. Jake noticed your embarrassed expression, which made him laugh. Oh, you were just too cute for him to handle. “Don’t be embarrassed, love. After all…” Jake gently grasped your chin then tilted your head up smoothly to look into your eyes with a seductive smile. “I’m the only one who can see such a beautiful face like that.” His flirtatious words caused your heart to skip a beat, which only made your flushed cheeks to grow even rosier than before. You were lost in a helpless daze over him as he gazed into your eyes with love. How can such a perfect man be your boyfriend? You were just that lucky. 

“Now, now, (Y/N). The night is still young, so we got all the time in the world to make your birthday even better…” All of a sudden, you felt his broad hand slid in between your thighs, as he began to tease you out and caress your sweet spot again. You gasped, as he began playing with your clit again, which caused you to moan again. “Mmm~” You couldn’t hold back your moans at all, as Jake slowly stroked you with his thick fingers that were now penetrating you once more. Jake grinned sexily at how he was playing with your squelching insides that were still sensitive from your last orgasm. Your legs quivered in response, as he cooed into your ear silkily, “Tell me, babygirl… do you want more of my services? I’m being very generous with you since it’s your birthday, so I want to spoil you all night long. Like I said earlier, I’ll be your slave for tonight. So be honest with me… what do you want me to do for you now?” There was no end to your soft moans as he kept on teasing you. The way his fingers slipped in and out of you, and the delivery of his words that laid out his irresistible invitation made your head spin heatedly. 

Teetering with euphoria, you said unsteadily, “P-please, J-Jake… K-keep… pleasing me…” Jake smiled with gratitude when he heard your reply. He confidently answered back by saying, “With pleasure, princess. Don’t worry, I’ll make all of this worth your while. I won’t let this time that we have together go to waste…” With that, he removed his slick fingers from in between your thighs then sat up straight on the bed. Your eyebrows raised in surprise and curiosity, as you watched him make his way in front of you. The both of you were now looking directly at each other face-to-face, but the caricature he had was unlike before. This time, his face was filled with determination. He slid his bulky yet veiny arms underneath your thighs, grappling both of your legs steadily. With one forceful sweep, he pulled your body closer to him which produced a startled yelp out of you. When he looked down at your face, your heart was thumping wildly due to how he was staring straight at you. The Jake that was soft, was no longer there. Instead, he was replaced by a more domineering Jake. A Jake that was filled with the ambition to only please you, his one and only girl. His eyes shined down onto yours with a glint of zealous sex drive, which clearly turned you on inside and out. Your body warmth escalated in temperature, as the sexual tension between the two of you heightened. However, his gaze was so intense, that you became extremely bashful towards him. Your eyebrows knitted in agitation as your eyes focused on him with a hint of concern. You couldn’t handle the incredible intimidation from him any longer and you were at your wits' end. 

As a result, you averted your eyes away from him for only a second until you heard this man suddenly asked in a husky yet profound voice, “Where are you looking at, (Y/N)?” Straightaway, his buff arms pinned on both sides of your head. Lowering himself down closer to your face, you felt his warm breath on your face as his visage portrayed one of sternness. When he whispered in a hushed yet coarse voice, you could visibly see his Adam’s apple bobbing to the vibrations of his low tone when he said, “Keep your eyes on me, princess. I’m not finished with your gifting yet.” In a heartbeat, your eyes returned to focus on his eyes once more. Without warning, his hands slithered down to the back of your knees and clasped onto those joints, which made him sit back up on the bed to straighten his posture by puffing out his expansive chest out and flexing his jacked abs. Instantaneously, he held you strongly before he forcibly pushed your legs back until your thighs met at the level of your head, your toes to point up towards the ceiling and your ass hang up in the air. But what was embarrassing about this position to the point that it prompted your face to mask in scarlet, was that your gaping hole that was glistening with all your vaginal salivation, was spread out for Jake to see. Such a selfish display, was perfect in his eyes. To see his girl at such an arousing stance all for himself really triggered his urges for you. This feeling of excitement that Jake had can be compared to seeing Disneyland’s castle for the first time, but in a much more erotic setting. 

The usual teasing smile of his returned upon his lips when he lowly whispered in admiration, “You’re so pretty from this angle, (Y/N).” You peered back at him with a tint of crimson upon your cheeks. Your cute feeble countenance ignited something in Jake, which produced a heavy sigh from him before he started to position himself properly. He was now crouching over your sacred entryway, while his hands were holding your thighs down, just the way he purposely arranged them. Jake resumed to leer at you with a serious gleam, which was currently masquerading his softness towards you. The thought that he was the only one who had access to such an extravagant scenery below him, made this man’s sexuality grow even stronger. 

Spontaneously, his large phallus was angled onto your throbbing core correctly, in preparation of the second round that you’re about to receive from him. Jake began to apply friction onto your saturated gash by using his thick veiny member, lubing up his dick with the juices that accumulated from your heat. A few needy whines were roused from your mouth because of his humping, affecting the way your legs quaked. Jake continued to tease your exterior until he could hear your heated breaths getting denser and could feel your folds getting puffier in arousal, along with the wetness that came with it. At last, after the torturous yet stimulating fondling with his length, he gave a satisfied hum before directing the head of his cock at your beating entrance. Your body shivered in anticipation as your eyes fixated up at his pleasure stick. 

Desperate as you now were to feel the pleasure of his phallic package again, you whimpered urgently, “Please Jake, put it inside me already. I need you, badly!” The corner of Jake’s mouth tilted upward into a diverted smirk as he asked temptingly, “How badly do you want it, princess? Let me know how much you want me. I won’t start until you tell me exactly what you want.” His face inched closer to yours while his hands were still stationed down on your thighs, as he bent forward to look deeply into your eyes, awaiting for your answer. Your eyes that were clouded in desire, glanced back at him when you squeaked in sensual distress, “Jake, pleeeeese, I want to feel you inside of me! I need your touch, your warmth, and your love. So… please…?” You gave him the signature teary puppy-dog eyes that always managed to sway his heart. Jake admitted in his head that you were indeed, too adorable to resist. You were his soft spot, after all. He sighed hopelessly, as he gave you a faint smile of defeat. “You never fail to amaze me, (Y/N). My girl… my love…” 

Involuntarily, Jake’s dick eventually started to sink downwards into your warm fluid insides, which earned a contented moan from the both of you when he entered inside you. Once you felt all of him reach its maximum occupancy, you heard and felt his prominent balls smacked right where your ass hole was. A grunt spewed from his mouth, as he gritted his teeth, feeing how tight you really were. How was it even possible that you were still so tight after rearranging your guts for the first time in forever. Jake let out a chuckle before he said suggestively, “I might have to loosen you up a bit more, my love. You’re just too fucking tight for me~” 

He didn’t hesitate to get a head start, as he began to plunge his dick hard, right from the get-go. In a matter of seconds, you were left in an uncontrollable frenzy of bliss. You were expecting Jake to start out slow and ease his way gradually up the ladder. But oh, were you wrong. Pounding away at your insides, you clung onto his brawny arms desperately, as you felt his heartfelt intensity. Noisy moans started to broadcast from among the walls of his room once again, as you cried in ecstasy. You were unable to form any words to describe how amazing this overwhelming feeling was, from Jake’s care. Actually, “care” isn’t the right word to identify what this was. It’s an ironic term to even match such a gentle word with an intense action of love-making… Or, better yet, “screwing”.

The volume of your moans fluctuated according to how rough he was pounding into you to fit your needs. It was obvious that Jake’s attitude changed during that span of his transition when he sat across from you face-to-face on the bed. But why? Why was he acting so roughly with you all of a sudden? It was like his mind and his self was all out of proportions. Jake gave a few grunts as he continued to hold you at such an embarrassing position. “You know, that confession that you told me earlier about you doubting me while I was away? It had been replaying in my head… Over… And over, again.” When he stated the words ‘over and over’, your body shuddered at the way he slammed himself into you with each powerful thrust for every word that he emphasized, promoting you to scream and squirm in pleasure. “Agh, Jake~!!!” You moaned his name out loud, holding onto his arms desperately for dear life. 

Jake’s face, along with his pulchritudinous body, was dripping with sweat as he rammed his hips onto your entrance during his hard sexual rut for you. “Do I have to show you how much I love you, for you to not doubt me ever again?” Your wavering mind was on the brink of breaking due to his powerful thrusts, which caused your mind to go blank as if it was put on reset repeatedly. “Mmmph~! P-please… I-I’m… s-s-… Ugh~!! …sorry, Jake~!!!” Struggling to keep yourself together with your wails, Jake bent his knees further as his feet stamped against the mattress fiercely as he shoved his boner consecutively, ensuring that he gets most of his size into you. The violent sounds of his balls smacking against your other hole made your head spin and your body heat up in fervor. The vociferous and weak expressions of your cries for him was driving Jake insane. He was powerfully emotional during this fierce process. Just hearing you moan loudly and your fingernails clawing onto his arms was impactful to him, that your own pleasure was what made him forgive you for your unintentional claw marks. They were evident proof, that he was the one who could love you like this severely, and proof that he was the one who could please you like no other man could. He’ll even carry those scars proudly on public display, because he is a man who’s willing to show how romanticized and how devoted he is for you.

“Ahhh~! J-Jake~!! Y-you’re… Mmmm~ m-making me… go i-insane~!!!” Jake grinned proudly at the way he was fulfilling your needs. Your legs pushed back, your exhaustedly pleasured-out face, and your sounds that resonated from your throat and your squelching vagina was what really pleased him the most. Oh, if only he can do this all the time. If only, he can see and feel this explicitly intimate activity with you all day and all night long, he’d be the happiest man in the world. If that were the case, he’d be eager to wife you up for himself to love and cherish. And to have a kid with you, would be such a fantasy that he’d be willing to make it happen. Envisioning you by his side forever, and to have you as his beloved wife, raising such beautiful children as an amazing mother got his heart fluttering. That was Jake’s ultimate dream. You’d definitely be the best wife he’ll ever have, and with that, he’d guarantee it to be true. He tilted his head down to view your delicate frame, losing your mind to how sinfully good this felt. 

The idea of breeding you was metaphorically a border to Jake. It was wrong of him to think of such a selfish fantasy. Yet, the dream of watching it all come to life felt so damn good. As he brought his face closer to you he whispered in a husky tone, “(Y/N), have you ever thought of being my wife?” You were caught by surprise from his unexpected question, which led you to take a glimpse at his eyes that were full of heartfelt emotions. In all honesty, there was never an instance that could have passed without you getting to freely daydream about having such a future with Jake. The thought of living a comfortable life with a kind loving man such as Jake, never failed to make your heart skip a beat. As a response, you nodded strenuously as you told him in between your mewls, “Ahhnn~ Y-yes Jake, I… Hah~ A-always thought o-of… being y-your… wife…” Jake’s eyes expanded in astonishment, because of your honest answer. “If that’s true, then…” His palms that were grappling your thighs in place squeezed, as he lowered himself even more to you. His movements became less intense and more controlled, as soft sighs were induced from his light actions. While going slow, Jake whispered once more in his warm breath asking, “Have you ever thought of having kids with me?” The way his eyes softened at the mention of possibly having children with you made your heart patter dearly for him. Your lips curved into an enamored smile and your eyes twinkled with love for him when you admitted, “Yes, Jake, I have. I’ve… always wanted to have a baby with you.” 

Jake’s eyes lit up, as his whole face became animated with pure joy and life, like a child who had been granted the gift of candy. However, this was no mere “candy” to him. This was his everything. The smile on his handsome face expanded from ear to ear like never before. He was so thrilled and happy to have such a wonderful girl, like you. “I’m so lucky to have you, (Y/N).” He stopped moving for a minute, as he bent forward to give you an impassioned kiss. Your lips locked with his, as you felt the excessive amount of love and adoration he had for you, putting this great combination into one passionate kiss. His supple lips that was grazing against yours fluidly, his tongue that was intertwining with yours so naturally, and the small moans of passion that was exchanged between the two of you was the definition of harmony between two lovers. Your arms surrounded his body as you brought him closer to you. Your hands trailed from his muscularly tatted back, up to his nape and his feathery hair. 

When Jake’s lips calmly drifted from yours, he then asked in a caring manner, “I know that you’ve been taking birth control, but… Would you like to start now? I’ll understand if you don’t want to rush things. I know that raising a baby would be a big responsibility, so I’ll of course, do my part to raise our kid. Either way, I’ll accept any decision you give me.” Your boyfriend is such a sweetheart. The baby fever was currently high among the two of you, and you intend to keep it that way. Jake being the father of your future child will surely be a blessing and a vision that you’d want to stick around to see for yourself until the end of your happy days with him. With a coral shine upon your adorably flushed cheeks, you gave a comforting smile when you announced to him in approval. “Yes, I’d like that. I’d be happy to have your baby, Jake.” Jake’s heart pounded like crazy as he, himself, had eyes glowing with amour and cheeks flushed in red. He clasped his hand over his lips while blushing madly, as his eyes did a double-take. Clearly, he was taken aback from your words, which made him shy for a short period. Even his member solidified inside of you, which gained a small whimper from you. Your words obviously turned him on so much, that it caused him to pop a boner.

Jake’s head pointed up towards the ceiling, laughing heartily. At the same time, his cute bashfulness remained on his face as he transferred his hand from his lips, over to his eyes in embarrassment. “Sorry, (Y/N). I’m such an animal, aren’t I?” He removed his hand from his eyes then smirked slightly before his lips softened to a smile once more, proudly declaring to you, “I promise that I’ll love you, cherish you, and I’ll protect you with my life. I’ll do everything that I can to see you smile, and make you happy. I’ll even do that for our future kid too. I’ll be the best dad that our baby will ever have, and we’ll be the best parents in the whole wide world. Nothing and no one is going to change that. So…” His attractive smile widened, replaying your words in his head of much you wanted his baby. “If that’s really what you want, then… Consider this, the greatest gift that you’ll ever receive from me. I hope you’ll cherish this as much as I would.” 

Jake didn’t waste time, as his speed immediately augmented back to such a fast degree, that he was clearly pounding into you with all the love and might he could give you at that moment as if his life depended on it. Each bareback stroke that bumped your g-spot sent your body into an unrestrained wonderland. The dirty sounds your heat was making and the naughty sighs of pleasure that was emanating from both areas at once was what kept Jake going, as he beat it up like there’s no tomorrow. As he held your thighs down even further, your legs twitched in bliss which made Jake smirk at the way he was indulging himself into you as hard as he wanted. This was all for the sake of his blessed “gift” for you. The screams of pleasure that were spouted were screams of delight to Jake’s ears. They were melodic to him. Sweet, sensual, and spicy. He snickered cheekily at your reactions to his powerful banging as he started to tease you. “You love it when I’m all passionate for you, huh? Yeah, I can tell. My pretty girl is all hot and squishy inside…” His knees bent even more and his feet clamped onto the bed more stably, while he rearranged the placement of his hands. Both of his hands skimmed your legs upward as he now held you by the ankles. He continued to bore his cock into you like a beast, earning plentiful cries of jubilation from you. Your body wriggled in endless ecstasy, throwing your head back in blissful rhapsody to the beat of his core diving into you over and over again. 

Through the discords of your own enjoyment, Jake commented mischievously, “You’re so slippery babe, and you’re even watering down there like a fountain. Heh, I want to hear you say it again. Do you really want my baby that much?” Through the impenetrable rocking of his hips, you whined eagerly, “Yesss~! I want your baby, Jake~!! Hngh-… Please, give it to me… Mmm-… More~!!! I want it all inside of me~!!!!” Your begging only fueled Jake’s arousal even more. As if, throwing more coal into the blazing fire. You were indeed, setting his fiery love ablaze. “Oh wow, you really want me to give you a baby that badly, huh? Alright…” His movements became fiercer than ever as he violently pounded away aggressively. You rasped in shock at how overstimulating his thrusting became, which made you question yourself. How was it even possible that he could keep going like this? Was that not his maximum potential? As Jake’s hands were still gripping you by the ankles, he ribbed you onwards by saying, “Do you hear the baby-making noises even more, princess? You know how much it turns me on, whenever you get all sexed out like this. And do you know what this means, if I put a baby inside of you?” Your eyes peered up at him with confusion, not knowing what he was implying. He chuckled at your cluelessness when he continued to explain, “If I put a baby inside of you, then that means I get to claim you for myself… Permanently. Mmmm… fuck…” Jake groaned with a bit of obscenities that made him hornier than before, just thinking about it as he articulated further. “You can call me a ‘bad boy’ for thinking such things, love, but I’m also a guy. I have fantasies too. But this, ohhh… this REALLY takes the cake to a whole other level…” 

Jake’s energy hasn’t wavered one bit, as he continued to dominate you with full passion, causing you to spew sobs of euphoria during his vivid daydreaming. “I’m sorry princess, but I have to confess something to you… I put you in this breeding position because of my own selfish thoughts. I wanted to see how good you’d look like this. But, God, you really do look hot. Mmm… just the thought of you with my baby inside of you is driving me insane right now… I’ll be the first and only guy to do this to you. Just imagining you with my kid, gets me so excited. My girl, pregnant, because of me and how much I love her. Doesn’t that turn you on too, (Y/N)?” 

Consequently, his enthusiasm got the best of him as he gradually increased his speed of prodding his dick into you. You writhed in delight, while Jake admired how you were loving the pleasure he was giving you. “I’ll be witnessing you with a round pregnant belly. Oh, you’ll look very cute and sexy as a pregnant woman. I just know it… And the idea of me permanently marking you, and connecting you with me forever because of our baby’s creation, makes me very happy. I will be the proudest man ever and I’ll make you mine… All mine…” Your heart was beating faster and faster, while your muscle contractions on his member compressed around him progressively. In addition to your heart rate increasing and your insides squeezing him, your entire body was starting to squirm the more you felt that you were reaching towards your pinnacle pleasure. 

You warned Jake by whining in cacophony as you called out to him, “Jake, I-I’m… going to… cum~!!!” Jake grinned spiritedly, as he went full on beast mode, going at his fastest velocity yet. He panted while bulling towards his own climax by saying, “Go ahead baby, cum for me again. I’m about to fill you up nicely, so take it like a good girl, okay? I’ll make you the greatest mom ever. Now, here’s my real gift to you…” With one forceful push deep inside of you, Jake gave one huge ejaculation, coating your vaginal walls with all of his milky spunk. You expelled a loud cry of titillation, leaving your body to vibrate hard when you came and squirted all over his cock and balls. The warm sensation of Jake pumping his seed into you felt so pleasant, gushing out every drop of sperm for you to be fertilized nicely. He carefully set your legs down onto the bed and his thick dick limped out of you with a satisfying clammy sound. A grunt was liberated from his sexy lips and as he looked down, he watched your pussy twitched as your second helping of his thick discharge came rolling out of your fucked hole. His demeanor was so proud while watching his jizz flow out of you, as if saying, “Yeah, I sure as hell did that.”

Jake smirked as he fell onto the bed tiredly then rolled onto his side to face you and give you a tender kiss on the cheek. With his hand propped on the side of his head as if posing provocatively, he beamed at you cheerfully. “So love, how was our second time? Was it even better than the first?” You turned your head to face him properly then nodded while smiling serenely. “It was, and I loved every second of it.” Jake grinned as he expressed his gratitude with one big hug. His built arms swarmed around your form, as he pulled you close to him once more. He placed his hand on the back of your head, stroking your hair soothingly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now, you don’t ever have to worry about me leaving you, because I won’t. Our kid’s existence will be living proof of how much I truly love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, (Y/N). Together… we’ll be one happy family…” 

Jake planted a gentle kiss on your head, which made you sigh peacefully. Just feeling the warmth of his arms cradling you, including the warmth from his entire body, felt like you were floating on a fluffy cloud. His kind and warm soul touched your heart, which spurred you to bury your  own face onto his tough chest. You could tell that Jake too, wanted this moment to last forever. The fashion of how he was holding you so tightly in his embrace made you hug him back as well, never wanting to let go. You hummed blithely, enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence until…

“Oh, Jake. I have a gift for you too.” 

You withdrew yourself from his chest to glance up into his eyes with glee. “Hm? A gift, for me?” Jake’s demeanor sparked in excitement. You nodded happily, as you replied back with, “Of course! How could I not forget to give my boyfriend a gift back, for celebrating my birthday with me?” He gave a sly smirk as he noted, “Yeah, right… ‘Celebrating’ was what we did.” He gave a frisky wink, which made you laugh at his joke. “Well, you DID give me a wonderful gift. So, I had to pay you back in return. It’s waiting for you in the fridge.” Jake raised an eyebrow, curious about what could this “gift” possibly be. However, the word “fridge” was what caught his attention. He thought about it for a moment, knowing that you hinted that his gift was food. Now, what is a special food that only comes on birthdays? Hm… You giggled at him, knowing that he was currently putting the pieces together in his head. 

Jake closed his eyes, while trying to concentrate on what this gift could be. The cogs in his brain were laboring and producing steam like a factory that was working heavily on overtime. Finally, you saw the light in his eyes when he opened them up again. He stared into your eyes with pure joy as he breathed enthusiastically, “No way…” You smirked, seeing that he got the correct idea. “That’s right. I believe, that this is the best gift exchange ever. Don’t you agree?” You winked back at him, in which he pulled you even closer to him then gave you a small loving kiss on the lips. “You’re the best girlfriend ever! I can’t believe you brought me that as a gift. You’re too kind and generous, and you really know the way to a man’s heart. That’s why, I love you so much, (Y/N).” You grinned at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Both of your hands gently grabbed onto the sides of his face, as you peered deep into his eyes passionately while announcing back an, “I love you too, Jake. Very much. I promise, I won’t doubt your love ever again, and I’ll always love you and stay by your side forever.” Jake smiled at ease, as he placed his hands over yours, then leaned in to give your forehead a compassionate kiss. “Thank you, (Y/N). Your words really mean a lot to me. But, now…” 

His arms slowly released you, as he turned to scoot himself onto the edge of the bed to sit up. Jake stretched his body by twisting his torso and by flexing his tensed muscles from such a gratifying workout. With a groan, he finally stood up from the bed then rotated himself around to offer you his hand so he could help you out of the bed. “…We got a cake to eat.” You laughed at his keenness, before taking his hand so he can aid you in pulling yourself up from the bed. While you stretched, he handed you back your clothing and your shoes, in which you gave him a small “thanks” with a smile on your face. After dressing up, you noticed that Jake was waiting for you while standing against his door, still naked. You approached him all clothed, then asked curiously, “Um… why aren’t you dressed yet?” He gave you a dignified grin and simply said, “Because it’s your birthday. And besides…” Abruptly, Jake took your hand then opened the door. “…I’ll be leading you down the stairs, and I’ll be giving you a sweet view of my ‘cake’ while we get some cake.” He gave you a flirtatious wink, which made you laugh at how ridiculous your goofball of a boyfriend can be. “You’re hilarious.” 

Jake was about to turn around and lead you out the door like he informed, but then he stopped on his tracks for just a second. He pivoted himself to look back at you once more as he gave you a sincere smile while saying thoughtfully, “Happy birthday, (Y/N). I hope you enjoyed the gift that I gave you today, and I wish that you’ll forever cherish this birthday as one of the greatest birthdays ever. Oh and…” Jake leaned his face close to your ear then whispered, “Don’t forget to get rid of the pills. You won’t be needing them for a while.” Those words sent tingles throughout your body, and when he retracted himself back to stand up properly, he immediately detected the rouge that was spread across your face. He chuckled with pride, loving how he never fails to execute such smoothness when it comes to his favorite birthday girl. As Jake walked out of his room with you hand-in-hand, you grasped the door knob and slowly closed his bedroom door behind you, before heading down the stairs with him to enjoy that scrumptious red velvet birthday cake with him.

[peachhcs]

being oblivious | the wonder years

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

the guys find out will knows samy & demand to meet her!

word count: 1.9k

i’m writing this as if they were 16 so that’s why the dialogue might be kind of silly, but anyways. i imagine them being very fan girly about meeting samy & also excited so here’s their origin story :) p.s. i’d love any prompts or ideas for little blurbs or imagines for them so if you have any send them my way :)

au masterlist

the boys agreed to a slow and lazy sunday with the first day of ntdp practice tomorrow and no one wanted to be too bent out of shape. drew and aram's voices were the only ones filling the living room as they argued over mario kart together while everyone else just tuned them out. will was splayed across one of the chairs mindlessly scrolling through his phone when someone nudged his leg.

the blonde's gaze found ryan's whose eyes were wide with disbelief. "what?" will mumbled as ryan flipped his phone so his friend could see what made him look so surprised.

his screen was a photo of will and samy hughes standing next to one another at the beach with wide smiles. not understanding ryan's shock, will raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"you know samy hughes?" ryan finally got out. his words caught the attention of the rest of the guys sitting around them. their heads spun in will and ryan's direction, waiting for a response.

"uh..yeah? you guys didn't know that?" will wondered, gazing at everyone else.

"no? how do you know her? do you know luke, jack, and quinn too?" ryan continued, excitement now in his voice.

"we're family friends. we grew up together. i grew up skating with her brothers," will had to laugh. he for sure thought it was common knowledge that their families were close and spent every summer together since they were babies.

"you're lying," ryan countered, disbelief on all of his features.

"no, i'm not. you see the picture. that's obviously me," the blonde chuckled while the rest of the guys started crowding around to see the other pictures ryan had dug up from mrs. smith's facebook account.

"why on earth would you keep this information from us?" aram muttered.

"i didn't know you guys didn't know. i dunno. it's not that big of a deal," will shrugged some, falling back into his chair.

"not a big deal? are you serious? you're family friends with some of the best hockey players in this country," ryan exasperated.

this was quite amusing to will. sure, he knew how popular the hughes family was, but it never really mattered to him and he never really thought about it until now. he's always just hung out with them every summer and that was so normal for will that he didn't realize it was a big deal to other people.

"wait, ann arbor is like..thirty minutes from here. do you think we'll ever run into samy?" drew exclaimed after the realization. a few of the other guy's faces lit up too and they all looked to will for an answer.

"uh..i don't know? maybe?" the boy shrugged. he didn't really know what samy did during the school year besides go to school and play soccer.

"wait. do you think we can meet her because you know her?" ryan's head popped back up.

"erm..i don't know. maybe?" will mumbled.

"what do you mean maybe?" gabe raised his eyebrow and suddenly will felt like some teacher with kids surrounding him waiting for answers like the guys were surrounding him with wide eyes at the idea of meeting samy hughes.

"i mean..we're close, but not that close. she hung around with grace a lot, so i don't really know how she'd feel about a bunch of guys wanting to hang out with her," will shrugged again.

"dude, you know samy hughes and grew up with her and you're telling us she doesn't wanna hang out with you?" aram deadpanned.

the blonde rolled his eyes and huffed out a sigh, “okay, i’ll ask, chill out.” the guys grinned, pumping their fists at the idea of meeting samy.

will immediately got a response after sending a brief text samy’s way. she was very much up to the idea and agreed to talk to her mom about letting them drive down to ann arbor for the day. after some more final arrangements, will, gabe, ryan, drew, and aram were all stuffed into a car together driving the 30 minutes to samy’s house.

the entire car was filled with excitement and chatter as they discussed samy and her brothers. will just kept to himself, still thinking how amusing all of this was and how much these guys were simping over samy.

they rolled into the driveway and will spun around in the driver’s seat, “just don’t be too weird, okay? don’t make her uncomfortable.”

“roger that, smitty,” ryan teased making everyone snicker but will. the five boys clamored out of the car and followed their friend up to the front porch, letting will do the honors of knocking.

some footsteps could be heard until the front door swung open and a very smiley samy stood before the five boys. all of them but will suddenly became shy under the girl’s bright smile. “will!” the girl exclaimed and immediately pulled the blonde into a tight hug.

“hey hughesy,” will chuckled as he squeezed her back. the two embracing missed the looks that came from will’s friends as they watched the interaction unfold.

“come on in. jeez, i can’t believe you’re gonna be in michigan for the next two years with me,” samy continued talking as she led everyone into the foyer.

“i bet you wish it was grace instead,” the blonde teased making samy roll her eyes. “whatever. it’s so cool to meet some of you guys. i guess you already know who i am,” the brunette chuckled as she turned her attention to will’s friends who still stood silently and awkwardly behind them.

“it’s nice to meet you. i’m ryan, that’s gabe, drew, and aram. we kind of begged smitty to meet you,” ryan spoke up, sticking his hand out. samy giggled as she happily shook ryan’s hand.

“wow, i’ve never had fans before. it’s always been my brothers,” the girl smiled.

“don’t let the ten year old girls hear you say that,” will mumbled. samy flushed before ignoring his comment.

“is that will?” a new voice came into the mix. the boys looked up and saw mrs. hughes walking towards them with a large smile on her face. the older woman tugged her arms around will’s frame, squeezing the boy tightly much like samy did.

“hey mama el, it’s good to see you again. thanks for letting us come over,” will chuckled.

“of course, anytime. you know you’re always welcome here now that you live 30 minutes away. i know i’ll be expecting a lot of visits from you. all of you, actually. our home is your home. my boys have all been through the dev program, so we know what it’s like,” ellen smiled towards the other guys.

“i’m sure that’s the only reason why they came over is to see quinn, jack, and luke’s baby photos,” samy giggled in a teasing tone. some of their faces flushed in response.

“come on, i’ll show you guys around,” the girl started further into the house leaving the boys no other option but to follow her.

after the extensive grand tour of the hughes family home, the six sat around the deck enjoying the remaining bits of summer weather. “what are you guys most excited about for the dev program?” samy wondered, trying to get to know everyone else some more.

“probably just getting to hang with these guys all the time. we’ve all gotten pretty close already,” aram chuckled as he reached over to tussle up drew’s hair. the other boy squirmed away, quickly fixing his hair.

“new people, new place, new coaches. lots of things to start learning,” ryan added in.

“is it weird being away from home? my brothers never had to go far since we already lived here when they all did it,” samy wondered and most of the guys nodded.

“for sure, but it’ll be a good experience, you know?” ryan said and samy nodded.

“well, at least you guys have one more friendly face around here. you’re all welcome to come to my soccer games this season too,” the girl quickly beamed.

“right, i forgot you switched sides,” drew said.

“if you guys ever play with her, you better hope she’s on your team,” will cut in making samy flush and the other guys chuckled.

“uh oh, she better than you at soccer?” gabe snickered, pushing at will’s shoulder.

“she’s better at me in everything,” will nodded.

“remember that time i scored 3 goals on you and luke on the ice? ugh, i still think about that day and how you two had to pay me each $10,” samy laughed.

“don’t remind me. you cheated anyway,” the blonde crossed his arms, eyeing the girl beside him.

“i did not! you guys were just mad a girl was better than you at your own sport,” samy quickly defended herself.

“whatever. we’ll get our redemption this year,” will huffed. the girl just rolled her eyes and the two once again missed the looks from everyone else.

the entire time they’d been there it was nonstop flirting from both samy and will. they expected the two to be close, but they didn’t expect the amount of teasing and very painfully obvious to everyone but them flirting. will’s cheeks reddened anytime samy poked fun at him and they saw the way samy’s gaze lingered on the blonde when he wasn’t paying attention anymore.

no one said anything until they were back in plymouth that night. all of them kept glancing at the blonde, wondering if he’d say anything, but nothing came from him as he stretched out on the couch and started scrolling through his phone.

ryan eyes bounced from gabe’s to aram’s and then to drew’s. will didn’t realize the silence until he noticed the guys lingering by the entryway occasionally glancing at him.

“what?” the boy laughed, confused by their behavior.

“you and samy are a lot closer than you led on,” ryan started causally as he leaned down on the couch.

“i guess. she’s like a sister,” the blonde chuckled, clearly not understanding the deeper implication trying to be made. the family zone. it definitely did not look like a sibling relationship to the guys.

“a sister? you flirt with her like she isn’t,” aram finally got to the point, a teasing, shit-eating grin on his lips as he took one of the chairs.

“flirt with her? what the hell are you on about?” will grew confused.

“dude, be so serious right now. there’s no way you don’t see it,” ryan laughed.

“see what?” now will was getting frustrated with the laughter coming from his friends.

“you guys were literally flirting with one another the entire time, it was disgusting. there’s no way you haven’t had feelings for her or some shit,” aram cut in again.

“for samy? no way. we’re friends. we always have been. i could never see her like that,” the idea even made will shudder. all he had ever seen her as was another sister to get annoyed at and bother him whenever he was doing something.

“mhm,” gabe mumbled.

“jesus, you guys are so annoying. i kind of regret bringing you along,” the blonde rolled his eyes, refocusing his attention on his phone.

“you say that, but i give it a year at the most and then you’ll realize what we’ve been saying was right all along,” ryan snickered with another annoying grin. the other guys nodded in agreement.

the only thing will could do was ignore their comments because none of them were true. him and samy were like brother and sister. there were no feelings nor would there ever be.