#was literally set out like a well planned essay

[the-apprentice-lia]

“Correct me if I'm wrong, anon, but I believe fanservice is a term used to describe lazy and nonsensical writing choices that betray the themes of the story and are only intended to please fans or the larger audience in a cheap and demeaning way.”

@queen-of-hawkins-highler i think you’re fantastic and i thought your post was really clever and level headed, just wanted to say! <3

i know i could just have re-blogged but this passage stood out to me in particular!

the post in question: https://www.tumblr.com/queen-of-hawkins-highler/734469917526589440/if-the-duffers-give-into-fanservice-and-make-byler

[fushigowo]

𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

⇢ ˗ˏˋ PAIRING: gojo satoru x fem!reader

⇢ ˗ˏˋ SYNOPSIS: the aftermath of yours and gojo satoru’s midterm essay and how your relationship came to existence. contrary to popular belief, gojo satoru is actually the sweetest jerk of a boyfriend you’ve ever had.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ WARNINGS: none!! just some cute fluff and suggestive themes <3

⇢ ˗ˏˋ NOTE: i have finally awaken from my peaceful century of slumber, resurrecting amidst the fog from the land of the dead, and bringing back the fluffiest, tooth-aching, heart-warming set of fluff i have ever written.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ PART I | PART II

1. The midterm essay was a success. However, Gojo Satoru noticed that something is wrong.

You and Satoru were able to score a high grade in your midterms for literature class. It was amazing how the two of you managed to finish a ten-page essay regarding the social context of Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. However… during the week of working on the essay, of course there were some… other sessions that Satoru initiated.

During the entire week, you felt like you had lost your ability to walk and you’re not even exaggerating.

“You okay, sweetheart? I didn’t overdid it this time, right?” Satoru asks as he puts his shirt on while sitting on the edge of your bed.

“I’m literally struggling to walk right now, Satoru.” You stare at him in disbelief.

“Oops, my bad!”

But that being said, the entire week was a blast for both you and Satoru. Not only you’ve been fucked several times by your beloved, you also earned a high grade from your literature professor and was able to help Satoru in LIT 2000.

After the midterm week, Satoru noticed that you’re back to being the shy quiet student who rarely participates in class again. You’ve also been ignoring him after the week. The white-haired man couldn’t help but feel unsettled about your actions. Because why would you avoid him when you like him so much? And to Satoru, being ignored by the person he admires and likes is no different from being stabbed right through the chest.

Why were you being so distant from him all of the sudden? Why were you ignoring him like you didn’t just spend the entire week together?

Satoru knows that something is wrong so he decided to disturb you when you were studying in the library.

You were busy studying for a test when a loud voice called you from afar; a voice that you knew too well.

When you raised your head to stare at him, the other people in the library were staring daggers at him. Satoru makes his way towards you, ignoring the other students and even the librarian. The white-haired man stops in front of your table and sits across where you’re sitting.

“Hey, sweets,” he smiles. “What are you doing?”

“Studying…?” you said, as if it wasn’t obvious. “Why are you here, Satoru?”

“The question is why are you ignoring me?”

You let out a sigh and ignored his question. You close your laptop and pack your pens and notebooks but Satoru suddenly grip your wrist, making you look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“What is it, Satoru?” you ask, trying not to make your voice loud enough for everyone else to hear. “Look, let’s not discuss it here.”

“Fine. Take me somewhere more private.”

And that’s how you end up being eaten out by Gojo Satoru in the most secluded part of the library after explaining why you’ve been avoiding him.

2. Gojo Satoru remembers the little details.

After a tiring week, Satoru came busting in your library work to free you from the stress that you’ve been dealing with since… well, since forever, he thinks. But now, he’s here to alleviate your stress (and back pain).

Satoru had plans of dragging you out from your library work but he had to wait for you to finish since library work is an important part of your schedule. After that, he finally drags you out of campus to try the new dessert shop that had recently opened.

“I know you’re fond of sweets because it relieves your stress,” he smiles at you before holding your hand and enters the small shop. “I had to explore places that serve desserts near the campus so I can treat you. Oh, and you definitely deserve a treat after a stressful week.”

Oh… he remembers my rambles during aftercare.

Your heart races rapidly inside your chest, cheeks start to heat at the sweet gesture of Satoru. Like he predicted, the weight on your back of carrying loads of responsibilities and stress was suddenly lifted. It was amazing how Satoru was able to understand you more than you understand yourself. He knows what to say, what to do, and what not to do to lighten your mood.

Contrary to popular belief that Gojo Satoru is a cheating fuckboy, he is actually the opposite. Every one in the campus just see him as one because of how he constantly flirts with every girl he sees. In your defense, you think Satoru is just being nice to them. The nicknames are actually what gives it. He told you that he just likes calling everyone with the nicknames he gives.

“Sooooo… how is it? It’s good, right?” he smiles.

“Yeah. So good.” you smile back.

“You got something on your nose,” he says.

“Hmm? Where?”

“Here!” he yells before coating the tip of your nose with chocolate ice cream.

3. Gojo Satoru understands how your mind works.

You are anxious.

And Satoru can see it.

Sitting on top of the rooftop of your apartment building, you stare at the cityscape with your arms wrapped around your legs and chin on top of your knees. Satoru sits down next to you and asks what’s wrong but you didn’t answer and just continue to stare at nothing.

“Alright. Tell me what’s in your mind, sweetheart,” he says. “Something’s bothering you, obviously.”

“I’m just… I’m scared, Satoru,” you whisper, still not looking at him because of how pathetic you feel. “I’m scared of what might come. I don’t know how things will be for me after I graduate. Like, I know I have plans—big plans—but what if… what if I didn’t—what if I didn’t get to do all those plans? What will happen to me then? What will happen to me if I didn’t get to live the life that I wanted? If I didn’t get to become the person that I wanted to be?”

When you finally had the courage to look at him, your eyes are blurred with hot tears, making Satoru’s eyes soften at your current state.

Satoru doesn’t understand why but he likes it when you’re vulnerable around him. He likes it when you’re not scared of telling him what you really feel and what goes inside your head. Because a person like you, who rarely opens up to anyone in their life, means that you trust him enough to tell these things and to be vulnerable around him.

“I’m sorry, Satoru. I shouldn’t have said tha—”

“Thanks for telling me that, sweetheart.” he smiles before cupping your cheeks, his thumb rubs your soft skin, as if his hands are touching the most delicate flower that he has ever laid hands on, afraid of breaking its petals and ruining its beauty. But Satoru, no matter which state you are in, you are still the prettiest in his eyes.

“I know the future can be… shit and unpredictable but y’know, that’s kinda the exciting part of it. It’s full of… unexpected things; full of surprises; full of ups and downs. But one thing that I’m sure at is you will definitely be the person that you want to be. And right now, you’re doing everything you can to have the future that you want,” he says. “It’s okay to be anxious, sweetheart. Trust me when I say this, you will get the things you want and desire because you work so hard for it. Even if you didn’t get all of what you want, I’ll be by your side to help you. Even if you feel like what you did wasn’t enough, I’ll be by your side to tell you that it’s more than enough, okay? You are more than enough. Now come here and give me a hug.”

You smile at him as you sniff and wipe your tears away before giving him a tight hug. Satoru kisses your forehead.

And what seems like a dream is actually a moment in reality.

4. Gojo Satoru is your biggest supporter and your number one fan.

Upon sitting on your desk in LIT 2000, your professor called your name for you to recite the earlier discussions regarding your lesson last meeting, which was African American Literature. Recently, Satoru has been participating more and more in class which was because of you.

He figured that if his girl is the smartest student in class, then he’d better step up and level your intelligence. Everyone else were surprised except you and your professor. The both of you know damn well that Satoru is a smarter than he looks. But Satoru’s recent constant participation burned something inside you. Every time he speaks, he would look at you with a smirk on his face. It was as if he was taunting you.

Ever since you and Satoru would do your study routine together, his grades were over the top and his participation started to become consistent. Of course you wouldn’t let your smartass boy take the number one rank in literature class from you.

“Yes, Mr. Gojo? Would you like to share your—”

“I would like to answer it, professor.” you raise your hand, surprising the others as well as Satoru.

When you finally stand up from your seat, all eyes are on you as you answer the professor’s question. But it was then followed by another question and another question, and you figured that your professor is definitely taking her time asking you all those questions to make up for the ones that you didn’t answer because of your… shyness. As you answer every question she throws at you, the smile on Satoru’s glossy lips becomes wider and wider as this is the first time he has witnessed you talk in full confidence.

“Yes! That’s my girl!” his loud voiced echoes in the entire classroom, which made you hide your face from your professor and the others because of how… embarrassing that was.

When you finally sit back down, you look over your shoulder and made a face, asking ‘what the fuck was that?’. But Satoru just smiles widely at you and gave you a thumbs up.

You couldn’t help but to smile back at him and give him a thumbs up.

5. Gojo Satoru finally unmasked himself in front of you.

It was the worst of times of Satoru.

However, everyone was oblivious to that thought. Well, almost everyone. To them, Satoru remains the same goofy person that he is even after… losing someone so important to him. To them, Satoru is a big asshole. Why? A big asshole for not even shedding a tear even after losing someone important to him. A big asshole for not reacting the way a normal person would react to a loved one’s death.

How did Satoru react?

Laughing and shrugging everything off. Showing no signs of tears nor sympathy. He just fucking shrugs it off.

“Oh, yeah that! I’m not thinking about it too much, y’know? I’ll eventually get over it!” he smiles. “People come and go after all.”

And people would say to him: “How can you be so insensitive?”

To everyone, Gojo Satoru is a rude, insensitive jerk.

Well, almost everyone.

“Satoru?” you call out. “You can talk to me. I’m right here. I’ll listen.”

Satoru’s back is facing you and you notice how he wiped something off from his face and sniffed before turning around for you to see a wide smile on his face as if he’s not falling apart. His red yet pretty eyes says otherwise.

“Hey, sweetheart! What are ya doing here? Went to see me for a kiss?”

“Satoru,” you mumble. You are definitely not amused. “Stop it.”

“Stop what—”

“Stop whatever this is,” you say. “You keep putting on these faces to make everyone see that you’re okay or unaffected by these events but I know that you’re falling apart, Satoru.”

Satoru’s smile slowly disappear from his face as he continues to listen to you.

“You can cry in front of me. You can tell me what’s in your mind. You can let yourself out of that… that façade of yours and just fall apart just this once.” This time you look at him straight in the eyes. “I just don’t want you to go through this alone, Satoru. I’m here. Let me carry the weight of grief with you.”

And then, Gojo Satoru fell apart… but this time, you were there to pick him back up.

Satoru wraps his arms around you. His legs start to wobble, making him fall down on the concrete along with you. Even though his face is buried on your chest and his arms wrapped around your back, you can tell that Satoru is crying because of his quiet whimpers and sniffs.

“It’s okay, Satoru,” you whisper as you caress his pearl white hair. “I’m here.”

“I lost him,” he whispers, accompanied by whimpers and hiccups. “My best friend… the only one I had…”

For the first time, Gojo Satoru finally unmasked himself in front of you.

6. Gojo Satoru has interesting ways to claim that you are his.

Satoru had invited you in their fraternity party.

It wasn’t the first time that you’ve been in these kinds of party. Your best friend invited you to come with her before but that was the last time you went to one because of how uncomfortable it was for you. Your best friend told you that she’ll stay by your side the entire night but once the both of you had entered the party, she was already chugging down some beers and partying with the other students, leaving you no choice but to sit and hide in the corner.

But this time, you had trust in Satoru that he’ll never leave your side because you already told him why you don’t come to these kinds of parties anymore.

Now, you’re sitting next to Satoru, talking to some of his friends and some freshmem that tagged along. The freshmen—Kugisaki Nobara, Itadori Yuuji, and Fushiguro Megumi—are actually fun and nice to hangout with.

This is the first time that you’ve enjoyed a party.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Satoru leans closer to your ear for you to hear. “I’ll go grab us another beer. Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know, ‘kay? I’ll be right back,” he says before kissing your temple and stands up from where he’s sitting.

After a few minutes of waiting for Satoru, you felt uneasy so you left your seat to go look for him. Since he was getting drinks, you figured he'd be somewhere in the kitchen where you encountered someone you don’t know. The guy was probably drunk since he can’t seem to walk straight and has a bottle of beer in his hands.

“Hey, pretty, what are you here for?” he asks, making you back away.

“Uh—I’m just—I’m looking for my—”

“Hey, sweetheart! What’re you doing here? I got us some drinks!”

Hearing your boyfriend’s voice made the fear and panic jump out of you. When you saw him through the doorway, you immediately sprint towards him and wrap your arms around his waist.

“And I thought she’d be available in bed,” the guy mumbles, making Satoru furrow his eyebrows and the next thing you knew, the guy was beaten up pretty badly and your boyfriend was kicked out of the party and the two of you spent the night driving around the city, looking for the perfect spot of the city lights where you and your boyfriend can feel like you’re on top of the world.

7. Gojo Satoru loves your drunken state.

When you told Satoru that you’d be out drinking with your friends, he asked each and every one of them to text him if you ever get drunk. He doesn’t want you to take an uber or have your friends take you home, he wants to be the one doing that so he is sure that you are completely safe.

And that’s what your friends did.

When you finished two bottles of beer, you were a complete mess and god knows how much of a mess you are when you’re drunk as hell. The moment that your friends realized that you need to be taken home is when you started to cry about how much you miss your boyfriend and kept asking why your friends took him away from you.

So when Satoru got to the street where he’s supposed to meet up with your friends and you, he didn’t know what he was seeing. You were throwing up in a trash bin like you’re about to transform into a fucking werewolf.

“How many did she drink?” he asks.

“Five. She was… enjoying,” one of your friends replies.

“I can see that,” he chuckles before taking you in his arms. “How worse was it?”

“Not worse than before. All she did was cry and whine. Anyways, our ride will be here soon. Take good care of her, Gojo. We trust you.”

“Yep. Thanks for looking after her!”

Satoru waves to your friends as they get inside the car then turns his gaze on you, clinging onto him like a koala holding onto a tree.

“All right, sweetheart. Let’s go home, yeah?”

Oh, you were drunk as fuck, alright. You can barely even walk so Satoru decided to carry you like a newly wedded wife. But your sniffs and whimpers stop him in his tracks to check up on you.

“You okay, babe?” he asks. You nod and wiggle yourself to get out of Satoru’s grasp to make yourself walk. You told him you can, so he let you. Now you’re wiggling and can’t even walk a straight line while your boyfriend chuckles from behind.

“All right, that’s enough,” he says before holding you again.

Satoru cages you closer in his embrace, feeling your warmth and breathing the scent of alcohol in you. But your instincts suddenly kick in, so you shoved Satoru over before yelling, “I have a boyfriend, mister! His name’s Satoru and he’s gonna beat you up if you touch me!”

“Oh? Who’s your boyfriend again?” Satoru tries his best not to laugh.

“Gojo Satoru. And he’s not gonna be my boyfriend anymore after this,” you say.

“Why not?” Satoru raises an eyebrow.

“Because I’m gonna propose to him and ask him to marry me so he can be my husband,” you chuckle. “So don’t touch me! I need to go home to him!”

Satoru lets out a laugh, almost loud enough to echo in the quiet streets an hour after midnight. His shoulders shaking up and down as he amuses himself at the things you were saying in your drunken state.

No wonder you don’t drink much when you’re out with Satoru. You don’t want him to see you in your drunken state yet this is a side of you that Satoru wants to see. Yes, he knows you’re an introverted woman who is secretly a very horny one yet comfortable when it comes to people she’s close with, but this is something that Satoru has not yet seen. He doesn’t know if he’s going to record you or just let this be a memory in his mind. He chuckles to himself and figured that this is something that only he knows and he witnessed.

“Oh, that won’t happen, sweetheart!” Satoru hugs you behind your back, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Why not? Is he dating another person? Would he say no if I propose to him? What if he says he doesn’t want me to be his wife?! What if—”

“No! That’s not what I mean,” he chuckles. “That’s not gonna happen because… Satoru will propose to you first. He will ask you to be his wife and if you say yes, the two of you will have a cozy home and a sweet, little family, full of small Gojos and a pet too.”

“You think he’s gonna propose to me?” you ask.

“Oh, he definitely will,” Satoru smiles before wrapping his arms around you again to take you to his car. “Now let’s take you to Satoru.”

8. Gojo Satoru loves hearing you read to him.

Aftercare with Satoru is almost similar as being in heaven. His kisses, his rambles, his praises, the way he takes care of you, the way he whispers sweet nothings to you is the same as floating on Cloud Nine.

But this time, you wanted to be the one to take care of him, too.

“I love you so much, baby,” he whispers before kissing your temple. “I’ll make you a hot bath, okay?”

Just when he was about to stand up, you call out to him, making Satoru look over his shoulder.

“You can just stay here with me, ‘Toru. Let’s stay in bed for a while, please?”

And how can he say no when you’re giving him those doe eyes that he can’t resist?

So when you told him to get back on the sheets, Satoru didn’t hesitate to do so. With a large smile on his lips, your white-haired boyfriend settles himself on the bed, his arms wrapped around your back and his face rested on your chest, you being the big spoon and him, the little spoon.

“Read to me, angel,” he whispers. “Wanna hear your voice.”

“Okay,” you chuckle. You stretch your arm to get the book on the nightstand on your side of the bed. “Where did we stop—Ah, here.” You settle yourself wrapping your other arm around Satoru will the other holds the book.

You clear your throat before reading, “‘I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain.’” As you read the passage from Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, your fingers caress Satoru’s soft, white hair while the man feels himself slowly drifting to a peaceful sleep.

“YN?” he calls out.

“Hmm?” you hum in a low tone.

“I’m so glad we got partnered at that midterm essay.”

You chuckle before leaning closer to him. “I’m glad too, ‘Toru…”

9. Gojo Satoru gets along with your cat very well.

“Tada!”

“Uh, babe? What am I looking at?”

“His name’s Tooru! With double O’s!” You smile as you hold your white, Persian cat by its armpits, showing its full glory to your boyfriend. “He’s so white and fluffy and he reminds me of you, so I named him Tooru but it’s spelled with double O’s.” You nuzzle Tooru in your embrace while your boyfriend processes what’s happening.

Did you just replace him with a cat?

“Did you just replace me with a cat?”

You didn’t answer him. You didn’t even bother looking at him since you’re too busy baby-talking your new cat, Tooru. Satoru can’t deny that Tooru isn’t cute. In fact, he is the most adorable cat he has seen, but the now that you’re giving attention to your cat rather than him, he couldn’t help but be—

“…jealous? Satoru, are you jealous of Tooru?” you ask, almost bursting out in a laugh.

“So what if I am?” he pouts. “You obviously love him more than me! You only had him for, like, 4 hours and you have me for three years!”

“Come on, don’t be so immature, Satoru!” you chuckle. “Tooru deserves much as love as you get. Oh, and can you play with him for a while? I’ll make us dinner!”

You stand up and kiss Satoru on his cheek then kiss your cat all over his face before heading toward the kitchen. When you finally disappeared from Satoru and Tooru’s sight, your white-haired boyfriend glances at your cat like it’s about to steal the love of his life—which he actually thinks is happening right now.

The bored expression of your cat’s face as it stares into Satoru’s cerulean blue eyes makes him even more pissed because what are the odds that the cat has the same color of eyes as his? Your cat is the cat version of Satoru and he hates it because he is the only Gojo Satoru in your life. Immature, yes, but almost nothing is ever taken maturely by your boyfriend.

But since you came to love Tooru so much (but not much than you love him, Satoru thinks), he realizes that it would make you happy if he gets along well with your cat.

“Fine.” Satoru sighs. “Hi, Tooru! Aren’t you adorable?” your white-haired boyfriend attempts to caress Tooru’s soft fur but was taken aback and shrieked when Tooru’s claws swiftly attacked Satoru’s hand.

“Shit! What the fuck, Tooru!”

“What happened?” you run from the kitchen to the living room only to see your boyfriend’s arms crossed and your cat curled up at the corner as if a father is scolding at his child.

“Babe, Tooru just—”

“Oh, my poor baby.” You didn’t take a glance at Satoru and made your way to Tooru to caress him in your arms and pull him in a hug. “Satoru, you know better than to yell at our child! He’s just a kid!”

“Are you serious right now?”

It’s been weeks since Tooru came home with you and since then, he has been ruining yours and Satoru’s relationship. It’s as if the cat has a manipulative mind of its on to sabotage Satoru. And every time Tooru successfully does so, Satoru swears that his cute, little tongue sticks out to mock your white-haired boyfriend.

Now, you’re packing your bags to go visit your family for a few days. Satoru has to stay since he’s finishing his graduate studies in Language and Literature so your boyfriend has no choice but to stay with your cat that he cannot get along with.

“Alright, Tooru, your mom’s gone which means I’m in charge.”

For the next few days, Tooru has done nothing but mess with Satoru. But it wasn’t until your white-haired boyfriend finally figured something out when he bought a laser. He read somewhere that cats can be played and tamed with lasers and catnips and a ball of yarn so that’s what he did.

Satoru realizes that you cut Tooru’s claws before going so he won’t get a chance to claw him out. The more Satoru gets closer to Tooru, the more Tooru gets comfortable with him. So when your boyfriend thought it was time to buy another bed for Tooru, he bought the most expensive one since he thinks your cat will soften with him if he buys something expensive.

But that wasn’t until the package finally arrived but then Tooru decided to make the box of the package to be his shelter instead of the expensive one that Satoru bought.

“God, what would I do with you, you little devil.” Satoru chuckles then rubs Tooru’s head before picking him up in his arms. Satoru sits on the couch and opens the TV, your cat is now purring on his stomach. “Heh, your mom will be home for another hour now. And, you won’t be staying in our room for the night.”

After spending the night waiting for you while watching TV, Satoru fell asleep with Tooru still purring on his stomach, leaving the TV open. The dim light of the screen is the only source of light surrounding the apartment but it wasn't until you open the door and flick the light switch on. You were greeted by a sleeping Satoru and Tooru so you had to hold your excitement back in order to not wake them up.

My boys are so cute!

You cheer before taking a picture.

Needless to say, you had the photo put in a picture frame.

10. Gojo Satoru realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Satoru stirs awake from his sleep, his eyes start scanning the room, still engulfed with darkness with no rays of sunlight coming from the windows. The white-haired man glances at his sides to check the digital clock next to him, sitting on the nightstand. It’s already ten minutes past 3AM.

His gaze travels back to your side of the bed. There you were, so deep in a peaceful slumber as you lay on your sides, facing Satoru. He pulls the sheets of the bed up to your chest before letting out a soft chuckle. Satoru knew you were tired as hell after last night’s session since he couldn’t control himself.

His slender fingers caress your soft cheeks, your warmth traveling to his fingertips like lightning striking the grounds of the earth that sends shivers down his spine. Satoru leans in closer to you and gives you a delicate, gentle kiss on your forehead, his lips feels like petal gently touching the ground as he gives you his kisses.

“I love you,” he whispers.

Gojo Satoru couldn’t help but look forward for tomorrow and rest of the days, of the months, of the years that he will be spending with you soon. He looks forward to waking up every morning when the first thing he will be seeing is your face, he looks forward to spending peaceful days with you and Tooru, and he looks forward to spending the rest of his life with you.

From the moment Gojo Satoru enters your life, his goal from the very start was to marry you, and that’s what he’s going to do.

FUSHIGOWO © 2023 | REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED ♡

[honeybunniesoobin]

a/n: getting to my asks very slowly but getting there! it’s my last semester of college and essays are beating me up. just wanted to come write felix catton smut real quick LOL. literally first time writing smut since my 2013 wattpad days

warnings: smut 18+ mdni! fingering, p in v, creampie

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

you and felix never shy away from pda when you’re out.

one of his hands is always on your ass, squeezing it as you walk together. when he kisses you in public, his lips linger on yours. he doesn’t care who watches which means that you don’t either.

the extensive amount of teasing and pda makes things more fun at home.

one day in particular, felix is extra handsy. you two had planned a picnic in the park to get away from saltburn (mainly to not have farleigh, venetia, and oliver all crash your date). after laying in bed long enough to miss breakfast, you both decide that it’ll be time to leave soon.

you get up while felix continues to lay in bed, groaning about wanting to lay with you forever, his voice deep from sleep.

while you’re getting ready, felix watches you from his bed. you glance over at him and smile, slipping on your babydoll dress over your head. you begin applying your makeup, felix’s eyes glued to you.

“see something you like?” you ask him.

“obviously,” he retorts, “maybe i saw more before you put that dress on.”

at this point, he’s gotten out of bed and is towering over you, wearing nothing but his boxers from the previous night. felix rests his hands on your hips, bending you over the counter and pressing his torso against you.

“‘lex quit, we have to go soon,” you scold him even though he can see you blushing in the mirror. again, he groans.

“ugh. why can’t we just stay here?” you turn around to look at him, lipstick in your hand. his arms rest on the counter, trapping you in. “i need you bad, y/n.”

those words are all it took for you to melt like putty for him.

his eyes move down to your lips as he brings his fingers to your chin. you nod, ready for him. he kisses you passionately and suddenly, you’re all his.

felix lifts your body and places you on the bathroom counter. he toys with the bottom of your dress before snaking his fingers up your thigh. his tongue slips into your mouth as he moves your lace panties to the side. “wet already, hm?”

he pulls away long enough to see your doe eyes looking back at him, eager. felix slips two fingers inside of you. he goes slow at first before picking up the speed and adding two more fingers, forcing you to grip onto his arm for support. your soft moans making him go faster, your lips wet from the mixture of your salivas.

you reach the bottom of your dress, slipping it off quickly and allowing it to fall in a pool on the floor, revealing your pink lace set. your hands grab the hem of felix’s boxers, pulling them down to reveal his dick.

felix continues to finger you as you jerk him off, causing him to grunt in pleasure. you can feel yourself close and before you can say anything, you release onto felix’s fingers.

“that’s a good girl,” he says, leading you from the bathroom to his bed. felix lays down on his back, as a signal for you to get on top and you oblige.

you straddle his thighs and like yourself up with him, before sliding on. your wetness makes it easier than normal to take him fully. you bounce on his dick, both of his hands on your hips.

felix loves to watch you take him so well as your tits spill out of your bra. you lay your head on his chest, ass in the air to get him inside you further. he thrusts into you harder, causing your moans to become more high-pitched.

he doesn’t last long after that. he releases his warm cum inside of you. you slide off of him, the cum spilling out of you and onto his thigh. felix grabs the towel on his nightstand, wiping himself off as you lay next to him, knowing you’ll have to wash the sheets later.

“so, picnic?” he asks, huge grin on his face.

“hmmmm, no picnic. i think i’ll stay here.” you smile back at him, exhausted.

he cheers, pulling you in closer to him.

[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[natequarter]

if other doctors did human nature:

one is badly cosplaying as a teacher at coal hill. susan, not having regenerative abilities, is watching over him. barbara and ian have never met the doctor as the doctor; as far as they know, he's just their crotchety coworker doctor foreman, who STILL won't share his first name. the doctor was on the run from gallifrey when he stumbled upon the family... now he's just on the run from the family of blood. regrettably, barbara got a bit too nosy in the doctor's office at one point, and took his fob watch. can susan recover the fob watch from ian and barbara before it's too late?

two lands jamie and zoe in jamie's era. look it's all very well and good that you know how to navigate eighteenth-century scotland, jamie, but i'm a bit out of my depth here!

if three did this, literally nothing would change, except that now the brigadier is being harassed by two human scientists who are smarter than him rather than one. the master lands on earth and tries to sell the doctor out to the family, only for it to backfire; the brigadier's men try and fail to shoot the family; liz insists the master pay for her therapy. the doctor barely notices the difference when he becomes a time lord again

there are two different ways i'd want to play four as a human. the first is this: harry and sarah have to put up with him. stationed at a naval base, harry and sarah must ward off the family whilst also warding off the doctor's insanity. sarah is disguised as the doctor's estranged younger brother (don't question the crossdressing) and harry is disguised as harry. inevitably things go wrong.

alternatively: rather than staying in e-space, romana returns to the main universe with the doctor. unfortunately, they manage to attract the family along the way; adric must badly pretend to be human whilst corralling two fob watched time lords who have chosen a really bad time to plan their wedding

tegan and turlough have plenty of experience with hiding from aliens, being on earth, and putting up with the doctor, but boy is he annoying as a human

the doctor gives peri exactly zero instructions and then lands them in the 1300s as an amnesiac human in the midst of the black death. peri is at her FUCKING LIMIT

much like three, very little changes for eight. this is the only one i'd still be tempted to set in 1913 à la the vna/nuwho episodes. charley gets to explore the recent past (to her, anyway) whilst acting as the severely amnesiac john smith's caretaker

honestly, rose and jack would be a remarkably competent team to be saddled with the doctor as a human... and he's falling in love with both of them, of course

amy vs the family: amy has won. rory gets possessed by the family but don't worry, it gets unwritten from time. the doctor is never doing that again, ever, yuck, he ate pears, YUCK

i don't think clara could be trusted with the doctor as a human, and if this was bill and nardole, i don't think the doctor would change much as a human. missy is not fob watched because she is in the vault and therefore simply inaccessible. bill continues to get set weird essays. the family are so focused on trying to get to missy (who they KNOW is there) that they fail to realise the doctor is there and simply perish within their three-month lifespans

[jojotichakorn]

not to be all defensive over my blorbo, but phum genuinely did not plan on making peem wait that long at the mall. we literally see him trying to call peem, but he doesn't respond (because his phone ran out of battery), so phum assumes he left home already. and when he finds out peem waited for him for hours and feels bad about it, it is not a late realisation of what he has done - he is clearly horrified at the fact that it happened at all because again that was not what he was trying to do.

honestly, i can write a whole essay about how it becomes clear almost immediately that phum is enjoying peem's company and is aiming for some sort of a banter-ish friendship situation at the beginning, not entirely recognising the dynamics he himself established with the slave deal from peem's point of view. add to that phum's abandonment issues and this idea that he needs some sort of an excuse for people to stick around (his only friends are his brother and his childhood bestie, who almost kind of "have to" be there for him in a way), and you get him acting like a fish out of water trying to establish this new friendship the first couple of episodes.

in fact, the slave deal starts seeming like a "foot in the door" so quickly that when i was first watching the series live and we were just four episodes in, i thought that phum might have already had a crush on peem and it was all a weird elaborate plan to get close to him. in retrospective, that is, of course, not the case, but phum definitely imprints on peem very fast (which frankly makes complete sense for someone as lonely as he is) and is trying to imitate some sort of a friendship with all the joint cafe visits and paying for peem's drink and generally just trying to make peem hang out with him as much as possible (it is very clear that far from everything he does even at the very beginning is because he is trying to make peem "work off his debt").

and the reason why he is so bad at it and doesn't fully realise what the dynamic is actually like or what he is supposed to do with it is because he has canonically not been properly socialised and has literally never made a friend once in his life. his formative years were spent not knowing the language other kids around him spoke, crying and missing home, and he became completely closed off, relying solely on his pre-established relationships with his family and beer upon returning to thailand (and later meets tan through a bizarre set of circumstances connected to his brother and also being bullied at school + meets mick through beer and clearly never hangs out with him separately from his best friend).

and i know that the idea of a person literally never making friends until they were like 20 years of age might sound bizarre to some, but it is genuinely a thing that happens (especially when a person has cptsd and specifically finds it hard to socialise because of it).

phum's lonely, poorly socialised self sees some sort of a potential for a friendship in what he established with peem, and he slowly but surely tries to reframe their relationship into that. and to be fair to him, with further and further success, because the slave deal becomes more and more of an excuse until he actively refuses to mention it at all in later episodes, as they get closer, and peem is eventually more than happy to turn it into something completely unserious as well.

[suhmingo]

I, uh, don’t know how to actually preface this. It’s really just a mini rant/pseudo-analysis of chapter 167. Which was pretty crazy. But, I loved this chapter, and yes I’m typing this with two hands.

But first let me try and do some housekeeping.

It’s perfectly fine to have an emotional, even visceral reaction to 167. That’s the point

If you feel grossed out, betrayed, unnerved, dumbstruck, or any form of bamboozled by today’s chapter then good! That means the emotional weight of the scene is working, and that you are a proper, feeling human. The

The whole point of fiction is to explore themes that would be difficult, even dangerous to experience from a place of safety. To me that’s, like the entire reason I ever wanted to become a writer, one of the most unsung broke boy jobs in the history of the world. My desire for Denji to get better in a world that is dead set on making him fail is the entire reason I have an emotional investment in the first place. Stories are inherently about conflict and the struggle with resolving conflict, that should make you uncomfortable.

Say what you want about Chainsaw Man. I can take it, I’m a big boy. But one thing that it has always had since Chapter one is a well-defined through line about the complexity of our innate desire to find some type of love fighting against the pain-wrought pathway that it leads us down. In a good story, every chapter should have some way of showing the highs and lows of that theme, and I’m pretty confident when I say that 167 perfectly shows us that.

It’s bad. Don’t let people who brag about their trauma tolerance tell you otherwise. You are well within your right to feel. But I think it would behoove people to 1. Realize that this is fiction, and its effects, though evocatory, are ultimately abstract, and 2. Realize that exploring dark themes allows people, especially a 16-25 (Or whatever the target audience for CSM is) to grapple with and think on human concepts as all encompassing as love.

From a writing standpoint, one chapter has escalated the tension of the entire story more than anything that has happened in Part 2 so far. It’s admittedly a bit early to call it peak. But looking at it as a simple story beat, that’s a fantastic chapter as far as the medium goes.

Listen, the whole point of stories since, like, Mesopotamian times was the tension between wanting a character to achieve happiness vs the hardships and trauma that life happens in life. They’re supposed to put you in a sensitive state emulative of a tense environment. I’d argue that the prevalence of escapist fiction and fandom has changed how we emotionally digest fiction. But that’s a whole nother essay.

The events of 167 aren’t some horny non-sequitur. Everything that happened is entirely a logical, if graven, extension of how we know characters.

Denji is at the lowest point we have ever seen him at. He was literally dismembered and put back together less than 10 chapters ago. The last chapter literally had him groveling on his knees at a cauldron’s brew of his own weakness, immaturity, stupidity, and horniness. I think we can all understand why he would not be in a good mental state to just lose himself in the moment. You can’t even blame Denji in this situation. He was in an entirely vulnerable state that was exploited entirely by

Yoru. Who is the literal embodiment of war. If you think that someone who represents the human fear of war is going to play fair. Turn on the news for five minutes. Yoru is a character we are not supposed to like. She’s fun, because she’s a work of fiction, but she’s arguably less trustworthy than Fami. She’s a violent, exploitative being who possesses a dead teenager. There is no “too far” for her if it’s the fastest way on the road to conquest. Reminder that before she caught feelings, her plan was literally just to castrate Denji because she thought that would further her goals. The fact that it turned into kissing was actually sparing a worse fate. IMO that savior was all in the actions of Asa.

Asa. I genuinely believe that, subconsciously, Asa wanted to kiss Chainsaw Man. Not like how it happened. Never like how it happened, but her desire for Denji/Chainsaw Man's affection has always been evident. She gets irreparably upset when she’s stood up, she makes cringe poetry for Chainsaw Man, and her entire goal as of now is in some misguided desire to make him happy. I also don’t think Asa is actually demisexual, or averse to sex. She is afraid of intimacy, which stops her from ever acting on her urges. Notice that both times Yoru has kissed Denji, it was after the idea of sex and intimacy was explicitly brought to the conversation. To me that screams that Yoru is spurred on by her host’s innate desires. Hell, it’s been shown that in the same way that Yoru has made Asa more proactive of a human being, Asa has made her feel emotions. I don’t think it's a coincidence that Yoru is blushing while kissing Denji. None of that was part of her plan. That’s Asa’s emotional influence getting the better of her in what I predict to be a fantastic role reversal of their initial contract.

This is thematically in line with how Chainsaw Man presents love and sets up deeper themes.



Remember way back in Part One when Denji was just an initial horndog and everybody kinda hated him? I hated Denji back then! When I first heard of Chainsaw Man I genuinely thought it was going to be a mommy-kink fuelled power fantasy. But I was wrong. Wonderfully wrong. Fujimoto used the allure of that idea in Makima to present a story about how dangerous and manipulative the very idea of grooming is, and how damaging that can be to a person. The same way Denji’s desire to get the approval of Makima was poisonous to him is mirrored in his desire for vapid, instantly gratifying sex is being portrayed here. I genuinely think this chapter is going to age like fine wine, and I am absolutely willing to take egg on my face if I’m wrong.

[agaypanic]

Headcannons on being the Davenports bestfriend 💗

Being Best Friends With the Davenports Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: this is probably asking for being best friends with all of them at the same time, but i’m gonna do individual headcanons. also even tho it says davenport, im also adding leo (i know he’s technically a davenport but idk i dont see him as a davenport i see him as a dooley)

***

Adam

You always enable and encourage his silly ideas

Which his family doesn’t like much

But you and Adam have fun, so you don’t care much

You help him with his homework a bunch

He doesn’t like asking Chase for help bc he makes him feel really dumb

Your favorite activity is probably going to the zoo bc he loves all the animals

You peeked through the front door of the Davenport’s house. When the coast was clear, you opened the door wider and waved for Adam to come in. How he was gonna hide this when his family saw, you didn’t know.

“What is that?” Leo’s sudden voice made the two of you jump. He had come from down the hall, and was staring at you with an incredulous look and pointed finger. 

“Lunch,” Adam answered, pointing at the bag of food in your hand. Leo rolled his eyes, furiously trying to make where he was pointing more obvious.

“No, that!” 

You and Adam looked at the alpaca that Leo was pointing to, knowing you were unable to avoid it any longer.

“Oh my gosh, how did that get there?” You asked dumbly, as if you didn’t help Adam break it out of the zoo and bring it home.

“This is definitely the first time I’ve seen this,” Adam said in a faux shocked tone, petting the alpaca’s head. “But since it’s here, we can keep it, right?”

Bree

You guys become extremely close extremely fast

Being surrounded by guys all her life, you’re very refreshing to be around

The two of you love to gossip

About who’s with whom, her siblings’ antics, everything and nothing

You guys like going to the mall to shop, eat, and catch up

Even though you hang out literally every day

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you what happened with my brothers this week?” Bree asked as she looked through a rack of shirts.

“You probably have, but tell me anyway.” You laugh, looking at the clothes with her.

“So Leo likes this girl, right? And Chase comes up with some plan to get her to fall for him- oh, this is cute. Well, anyways, it completely backfires, and she ends up going after Adam.”

“No.” You gasped.

“Yes! And that’s not even the craziest part.” Bree took something off the rack and held it up to you, wanting your opinion. You nodded furiously at the sight, and she grinned, adding it to the try-on pile of clothes she was carrying. “So Chase tells Leo that he’ll talk to the girl for him, and guess what.”

“What? Does she start liking Chase?” You ask jokingly. Bree raised her eyebrows at you and pursed her lips, signaling you were correct. “No!”

“Yes!”

Chase

Yall are that duo at school

Smart, sassy, and pretty

You guys sign up for extracurriculars like science fair and debate club together

Even though he’s literally the smartest man in the world, he likes having you go over his work

Very occasionally, he’ll miss a detail, and you’ll point it out

But he mainly just likes the validation

But you also never hesitate to put him in his place when needed

“Hey, can you read this over for me?” Chase asked as he handed you his laptop. You decided to come over to watch a movie when he suddenly remembered he needed to revise one of his papers for a class. 

Pausing the TV, you set the computer on your lap and read the essay. You didn’t comment until you were finished, handing the laptop back to Chase.

“Pretty good.” You said, playing the movie again.

“I knew it.” Chase gloated, reclining on the couch next to you. “Perks of being the smartest guy ever.”

“Yeah, well, you also misspelled ‘and,’ genius.” You laughed as you watched him scramble for his computer, looking through every word to find the mistake. “Perks of not knowing how to type, I guess.”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, fixing the error and crossing his arms with a pout.

Leo

The blind leading the blind

You encourage all of his delusions, mainly because you think it’s funny

You two are a comedic duo tbh

You guys bounce off each other really well

Before the bionic trio, you always defended Leo from bullies

You still do sometimes

Leo was currently talking your ear off about his current crush, some girl named Danielle. This was part of your guys’ routine. He’d tell you about someone he liked, you’d tell him that the two of them were meant to be, something would go wrong, you’d laugh about it, and then Leo would find someone new the next week.

“We’re so close to being boyfriend and girlfriend; I can feel it!” He said excitedly.

“Oh yeah.” You nodded, trying to suppress a laugh. “I know that if I had a boyfriend, I’d want him to be my human footstool because it’s what I deserve.”

“Exactly! You’re like the only one who gets it.”

“Ooh, there she is now.” You said, looking over his shoulder to see his girl of the week at her locker. “She came into the same hallway you’re in, so she clearly wants to see you. You should go talk to her.”

“Really?” Leo asked, slowly standing up. You nodded and pushed him in Danielle’s direction, waiting for everything to unfold. 

Leo somehow found the courage to talk to Danielle, but it was a pretty short conversation. When she walked away, she looked at him from over her shoulder and said goodbye.

“See you later, Lenny!”

The name made you bust out laughing, almost weak in the knees to stand up and go over to the now somewhat sad boy.

“Better luck next time, Lenny.” You said, patting his shoulder and laughing some more.

[xxsquiddkiddxx]

Johnny boyyy!(bender)

THAT, my friend, is a FANTASTIC idea :D I like the way you think -3- So! Not really knowing what to write, I went to Pinterest for one of them Person A Person B prompts. I'll link the one I used. This is the one I used :D

Living in the Moment: John Bender x Reader

Pronouns for reader: She/Her

Relationship type: Platonic to Romantic, Friends to Lovers

General Idea: John and Y/N have been friends for years now. A duo of chaos, dare I say. The two once again get themselves into detention. But what happens when feigning a nap Y/N hears something she wasn't meant to hear?

Content Warnings: Drugs (It's a Breakfast Club fic... it's kinda in the terms and conditions), Bender being soft, swearing, (Y/N) doesn't hate Claire (that's a recurring theme in these fics for some reason. I actually really like Claire)

(Nobody's POV)

"We pretty much asked for this detention served to us on a silver platter." (Y/N) says, hands in her pockets as she walks to Shermer High School. She turns her head to her friend, John Bender, who was walking beside her.

"It's worth it though." He says, fishing around in his pocket for his sunglasses. It wasn't sunny out at all, he literally only ever wore them to piss off Vernon. He takes another pair out of one of his coat pockets and put them on (Y/N)'s head. He flicks them so they slide onto her face, causing her to laugh.

"John!" She laughs in mock offence, taking bits of her hair out from behind the sunglasses. The two walk into the library and sit down next to each other, their movements pretty much in sync. A few people were also in detention. People (Y/N) recognized as Brian Johnson; a nerd she had physics with, Claire Standish; a girl who (Y/N) had respect for but never bothered to talk to, Andrew Clark; an kid on the wrestling team who was similar to Claire in (Y/N)'s eyes, and Allison Reynolds; someone (Y/N) had talked to a few times... but never had a real conversation with.

Vernon walks in and stands, just looking at the mini crowd of teens in the library. His eyes set on (Y/N) sitting next to Bender and laughs humorlessly. "On your feet (L/N), you're sitting somewhere else."

"I can sit where I want." She retorts, folding her arms over her chest. "It's a free country." Vernon yanks her out of her seat and she starts to sit at the desk behind John, to which Vernon snaps.

"Next to her." He points towards Allison, who snaps her head up instantly. (Y/N) does as she's told, but devises a plan to reunite with her friend once the dictator leaves.

"Well... here we are. I want to congradulate you for being on time." Vernon says, his tone of voice being slightly degrading.

"Excuse me, sir?" Claire raises her hand. "I think there's been a mistake. But, um... I don't think I belong here." John and (Y/N) exchange a look that says "Oh dear God" . Vernon is unfazed by this.

Vernon goes on to talk about how everyone has pretty much 9 hours to be in here and that we have to do a 1000 word essay on who we think we are. When Vernon leaves, (Y/N) scoots herself right back to her original spot. A few hours goes by; John bullies Claire and Andrew, Allison draws and using her dandruff as a art utensil, and Brian was.... well Brian did whatever Brian does.

Once hour 2 hit, all (Y/N) wanted to do was sleep. She layed her head on the table and she drifted off to sleep.

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·

(Y/N) feels herself drift back into consciousness, but keeps her eyes closed. "You're really pretty." She hears the breathy whisper of Bender. It's almost completely silent, and she probably wouldn't have caught it if she wasn't hyper-aware of his voice. "God I love you..." He whispers. She feels his fingers brush some hair out of her face, then it's silenced again.

"WAKE UP!" The cold voice of Vernon shoots (Y/N) up and almost 10 feet out of her seat. "(L/N) didn't I tell you to sit somewhere else?" (Y/N) looks around and points to herself innocently.

"Who, me?" She says, playing dumb. "I don't think so, sir." John and Andrew snicker at her antics.

"Don't play dumb with me, girl." Vernon threatens.

"I'm not, Dick. Can I call ya Dick?" She says, smiling innocently. Vernon doesn't have time to respond before (Y/N) continues. "Why would I play dumb anyways? I'm a smart girl with potential. Now Miss Standish here." She starts, gesturing towards Claire. The redhead whirls right around and makes a nasty face towards (Y/N). (Y/N) ignores it and continues her shenanigans. "She would play dumb to get what she wants, it's written all over her face!"

Vernon doesn't respond, but instead just says: "Alright girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch."

"Here?" Andrew asks.

"Here." Vernon says, firm in choice.

"Well," Andrew starts. "I think that the cafeteria is a more suitable place to eat lunch in, sir."

"Well I don't care WHAT you think, Andrew." Vernon starts. John gets a sparkle in his eyes and opens his mouth to speak. (Y/N) leans back, ready for what was about to go down.

"Uh, Dick?" John says. "Excuse me, Rich... Will MILK be made available to us?"

"We're extremely thirsty, sir." Andrew piggybacks off of John.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." Claire says.

"I've seen her dehydrated, sir." Andrew says, nodding. "It's pretty gross."

After a whole scenario and a half, everyone has a coke and a lunch. Everyone eats together, John and (Y/N) being without meals. "Ya wanna do something stupid?" John whispers to his friend, his breath tickling (Y/N)'s face.

"Oh always, Dear." She says dramatically. The two start to stand up and walk out of the library.

"H-hey, we aren't supposed to do that." Brian starts.

"Relax, Peewee." John says. "We're just going to my locker. Nothin' special."

"Why? You got drugs in there or something?" Andrew asks condescendingly. (Y/N) giggles.

"Something like that."

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·

John, (Y/N), Brian, and Claire sat in a circle, smoking joints and laughing. (Y/N) takes a hit off of her and John's shared joint, John's arm around her shoulders. Claire takes a hit off of hers and coughs.

"Chicks cannot hold they smoke." Brian says in a goofy voice, sending (Y/N) into a fit of giggles. "That's what it is."

Brian and Claire go off to Andrew and Allison, leaving John and (Y/N) alone. Bender, of course, can't help but admire (Y/N) momentarily before she says something.

"Did you mean that?" She asks, looking up at him. John looks at her odd. "What you said?"

John takes the joint from her fingers and moves it away from her. "AAAAAlright no more dope for you." He jokes. He looks at his friend's face, realizing she was dead-serious. "What do you mean what I said?"

"That I'm pretty and that you love me." (Y/N) says before repeating her question. "Did you mean it?"

John feels himself go bright red in the face. Part of him wanted to just skip over the question and blow it off. But something on her face (and also the marijuana) made him finally respond with the truth. "Yeah, I meant it."

"In a friend way?" (Y/N) asks. John REALLY wants to lie here, but he's too hopped up on weed and the feeling of (Y/N)'s body snuggled into his that he just responds with the truth, even if it feels like it's against his own will.

"No."

The two sit in silence before (Y/N) breaks it. "I love you too, John." She whispers. John turns to look at the girl. "Not in the friend way." The two sit in a content silence. They didn't need to speak any words, nor engage any actions. They were more content than any words or actions could ever activate.

After a few moments, (Y/N) leans her head on John's shoulder, and he rubs (Y/N)'s arm with his thumb, sharing the joint until it's gone. They stay like this for a while, just living in the moment.

Cuz at the end of the day, that's how John Bender and (Y/N) (L/N) roll. They take things wherever fate takes them. Sometimes it takes them somewhere fantastic, other times it takes them into some deep shit. But between us, I don't think they cared. They just liked to live in the moment.

A/N: Wow, OK that was longer than I thought it would be XD But I had to add the Brian High scene (it's my favorite in the whole movie). I actually really liked writing Y/N's character (even if I almost wrote my name more times than I can count). But yeah, more content soon :)

~Squeed

[muchmossymess]

GUYS okay hear me out majoras mask boat boys au

I love legend of zelda I love boat boys this is like the ultimate combination of my interests you cannot understand the brainrot. Idk what to call it yet tho... majoras minecraft? Anyway prepare for an essay

OKAY so we have the Hero of Time, Etho, who stopped ganons plans before they started, and would be stuck in a child's body if not for the fact I think that'd be a lil weird for the more shippy aspects of this au that all the running through time aged his soul and his body followed suit (he's still got a young appearance, and the mask doesn't make him look older like he thinks). Same reason he has the scar over his eye (from the ganon fight); no matter how much the body may heal or rewind the mind will not forget.

Then navi (maybe bdubs?) left him, and he went with epona (maybe bdubs instead? (eponas a horse iydk)) and he sets out on a journey aka the beginning of mm:

Wandering through the woods on epona, gets jumped by skull kid. For those unaware, there is skull kid, a lonely lil sweetheart, and he wears the mask, an entity on its own. He also has two fairies, siblings tael and tatl.

So I was a little unsure about this for a while, but I think I've decided on grian for the skull kid and Jimmy for tael, grian bc watchers and Jimmy bc skull kid is not very nice to tael (bc of the mask) and like a listeners reference or smth blah blah blah

TATL. that's who's interesting. At the beginning she gets separated from her friends and becomes your companion. So naturally for this au she is our favourite joel smallishbeans. It works so well. Tatl is mean but cares, and that's joels dynamic with the bad boys and with etho, guys it's literally perfect idc what you say

I think it doesn't change much throughout like the story of the game, but just taking dialogue tatl says to link and its so perfect for a sassy joel to a "can't believe I'm dealing with this shit again" etho. Uh one thing different though; in hylian form etho doesn't have an ocarina but instead a mini marimba. Just because. I think it's cool, and for potential things later on.

Now, fairies in this au are just tiny glowing people shaped things with wings. The glow around them is their magic, and depending on emotions/energy the brightness changes (thats why they look like flying balls of light). Some fairies have the ability to make projections of themselves, more hylian sized in nature. This can be intimidation or distraction or w/e, but they cant do it for long periods of time bc its exhausting. These forms aren't physical. Just sized up light projections of their actual bodies.

So for a lot of their journey, joel is just a cute pocket sized ball of rage and sarcasm, who helps with ethos aim for fighting. Bc that's a game mechanic and also ethos like half blind. But like when joel calms down imagine him crawling into ethos hat and just dozing off. He can fit in the palm of your hand like guys it's so cute. But he is also capable of being worse than a mozzie

Oh probably a good point to put in what I imagine etho looks like. So it's typical link green (maybe a bit dampened?), weird pointy hat, short hair (white ofc), his shirt is more of a jacket with a fluffy cold weather collar, it's a bit too big for him but he knows he'll grow into it, he's all knobbly and thin (underfed a lil, boy was never taught how to care for himself beyond basic survival). His injured eye is red bc of ganon, and often gives him phantom pains. It can't be healed.

Anyway, at some point in their journey together, etho and joel learn a song that let's fairies have a larger physical form, no wings, sorta like the great fairies (who they learnt it from prolly). It isn't permanent, slowly draining ethos magic meter, the spell ends when you run out of magic. This is because I want them to actually be able to stand side by side or maybe hug, and also bc its hard to block a blow with your body when ur tennis ball sized.

Aaaaand, this ties back in with with marimba. What if ethos injured, or unconscious, and he obviously can't defend himself, so joel panics and plays the marimba in what he hopes is the right order to give himself a body. I imagine that being that small, you could not play an ocarina. And hey maybe joel carries etho away after that, and when the spell ends he has barely any light emitting from himself because he spent nearly all his magic (what he is made of) saving etho.

But this song isn't used much, because of its draining nature, and you can't really do any other magic things while it's going. So it's mostly just in the final fight (over and over) or tough moments or maybe joel wants to experience something like hoe hylians do. It's obviously inferior to how he experiences things as a fairy, of course, he's just curious thats all. He totally doesn't want etho to do it more.

Okay I think ill sorta stop here, I am NOT done, I will probably post some art I've done for this later lol, and I want help with who everyone else is (mumbo is the moon. You cannot stop me nor change my mind) with mcyts to npcs

[itsclydebitches]

ted's, "it's not about me. it never was"

and all I felt from trent was, "oh, but it was"

I thought trent was going to stick to his word and tell ted why he was wrong...

but I guess ted just summed up his outlook and something trent so loves him for, so trent couldn't deny ted's wish. but there's got to be a future out there where, while still published as "the richmond way," trent still goes on and tells ted why, for trent, ted was entirely wrong about that.

I feel like in the show I want Ted Lasso to be -- and, crucially, the show I thought it was; the show it arguably should have been based on every other episode that came before this -- Trent would have corrected him. Because this is not an acknowledgement that Richmond doesn't belong to Ted, or even Rebecca, which is a reminder that I like. Ted allowing the fans to sit in on the practices and Rebecca selling portions of the club to people like Mae highlights the heart of the team, that this club "means something" to the community, to quote Trent. However, the book is explicitly, specifically about this particular season of football and how Richmond came to have their Cinderella moment... which is all due to Ted. I get why "Believe" is framed as the fourth factor in Total Football (and frankly I think it would have been a better title for Trent's book if he had to reject The Lasso Way), but belief is only the end result of the work Ted has done. Anyone could have waltzed into Richmond and said, "Believe in yourself!" but it wouldn't have done a damn thing because it was the unique approach of The Lasso Way that taught everyone what belief really means. Ted is the fourth aspect because it is only through his methods that generic concepts like Belief, Friendship, Trust, Compassion, etc. become understood well enough to be implemented despite the obstacles.

So yes, I think Ted is wrong. Trent isn't arguing that Richmond belongs to him, he's arguing that Ted irrevocably changed Richmond for the better... which is true. But the finale doesn't commit to that argument because, frankly, the finale commits to VERY little that the rest of the show lays out.

Ted Lasso spent its whole runtime arguing for Roy/Keeley and then dodged it at the last moment.

The finale argues strongly that Rebecca is already a metaphorical mom to the team and the fans, but then throws in a literal, blonde-haired blue-eyed daughter in at the last second.

The show has consistently framed Beard/Jane as an abusive relationship -- from Higgins intervention to Beard talking to God about his addiction to "pain" -- but the finale irrevocably fames this as true love instead.

Our wonderful queer plot-line made it clear that Colin was too scared to kiss his fellow after a game because that would out him as the only pro, queer footballer... and then he just does it anyway. Which I'm not upset about on its own, to be clear, rather I'm upset that there was no setup for why Colin's feelings changed; why he's suddenly willing to shoulder an understandable, HUGE downside.

The finale argues VERY strongly that Ted should not go back to Kansas. In fact, I plan to write a whole damn essay on that. He's clearly not himself, Rebecca is begging him to stay, Beard is staying and is in tears over the idea of betraying him, they haven't won the whole thing yet which provides a practical reason for him to stick around, Ted literally questions whether he's making a foolish, horrible choice as he's sitting on the plane... and then he does it anyway.

This finale is chock-full of choices that don't match up with what the rest of Ted Lasso has written, or even something from earlier in the finale itself. When Trent says that he's going to push back against any criticisms and explain why they're wrong, outside of the jokey "I'm a passionate writer, an ~artist, who is a little on the arrogant side," it sets up a moment for Trent to indeed correct one of them about their view of the book. After all, he's been the observer all season and arguably has a more objective understanding of what's been happening around him than they do. We've already seen it! Trent stops Ted and (accurately) explains how no, he hasn't changed tactics. You've been doing this for three years. I can see that even when you can't.

The show sets up the moment where Trent will explain that Ted is the foundation of Richmond's success and, presumably, helping him come to terms with staying here.

... and then we never got that.

There were honestly so many parts of the finale that I loved, but most of them were details like the Sound of Music farewell, or putting the "Believe" sign back together. Structurally, one of the few things I really bought into was the team winning the West Ham match and losing the league... which was unfortunately soured after the fact because that now reads as the PERFECT excuse for Ted to stay another season, yet he doesn't. I'm trying so hard not to read the whole thing pessimistically given how many of those details I loved, but when the core plot of the episode has so many problems, damn is it difficult. Other than Rebecca, it felt like the whole cast, Trent included, just gave up on Ted and given my very strong feelings about Kansas I wanted to shake the episode by the shoulders and go, "Stop acting as if this is a good thing just because this is what the writers originally planned! Did you learn nothing from HIMYM??" There are these moments, like with the book note, where you get this sense that everyone is respecting Ted's wishes, but that they thoroughly disagree with them, and the show never hits the point where Ted's viewpoint is appropriately challenged in a way that would make him reconsider. Despite the fact that Ted is a character who frequently needs to be challenged due to limited, inaccurate perspectives brought on by his anxiety (this season gave us "Find out before you freak out" as a big example). I legit had hope for a moment when Sharon showed up, thinking that Ted's therapist of all people would be able to articulate why giving up his family/support system to play his mother's approved version of fatherhood might not be the best decision... but, like so many other aspects, her return didn't amount to anything other than a wholesome callback.

It's a tragedy, frankly. As in, the genre definition. Everyone in the Ted Lasso cast is living the Rom-Com ending of found family, new romantic relationships, and bright, happy, humorous moments... except for Ted himself, staring pensively into the camera as he comes full circle, back to where he began. Back in Kansas. Back (non-romantically) with a woman who doesn't like him very much. Back trying to be a perfect father because that's what's expected of him + that's what his trauma demands of him. And now he's dealing with Jack, no Beard, no American football, no professional soccer, no visits as the rest of his family undergoes major life changes. Just Henry and the reminders from Season One that you're allowed to be a goldfish. After all that growth Ted has gone backwards.

I said before that obviously they were setting up the Kansas ending -- I'm not saying it came out of nowhere, not at all -- but I really don't understand how anyone can watch that and not feel depressed as hell about it. Ted Lasso is a show that consistently left me feeling good and hopeful and nearly giddy with pleasure. It says something that after finishing yesterday I mostly just felt hollow.

[skzhua]

omg, I just watched a funny video of a boyfriend and girlfriend playing a prank on their group of friends. The boyfriend asks the group of friends to help him propose to the girlfriend, when it was finally time to propose after organizing everything she declines (both are in on it, but the friends are not), and the prank continues with the gf leaving while the bf stays crying to their friends. Since April fools is coming up can I request something like that with any skz member proposing to their gf in front of the other members?? 😭 you can make it as fluffy funny or as “angsty” as you want, if you can!! 🤗 thank youuu

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x Female!Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, idol!AU.

Word Count: 3,111

Warnings: Swearing. (not proofread yet!)

A/N: I'm a tad bit late, but I have essays due this week (school is literally killing me, smh..) so I'm not sorry, I just didn't have the time, haha. I hope you like it, I tried to follow what you requested, but it was kind of tricky for me.

"NO FUCKING WAY!"

"Gosh, Han!" Hyunjin exclaimed, blocking his ears with his hands from the sudden noise that is Jisung's scream.

"I fucking knew it! I could tell you were going to do it soon!" Jisung ignored his friend, still being noisy. "Am I the best man?" he smirked at Seungmin.

The latter pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He knew the boys would be reacting very strongly when he was going to announce he wanted to propose to you, but he still didn't expect them to be so stoked.

"I'm asking you to help me propose! Not to help me plan a wedding that I don't even know is going to happen," he shook his head in discouragement.

Chan frowned as he stood up. "I have one question." Seungmin turned to him, encouraging him to continue. "Are you sure about this? This is a huge commitment, you know?"

"I've been with her for years, it's not like I didn't think about it."

"What did you have in mind for the setting?" Jeongin asked. "Oh, can I plan that out?"

To this, Felix raised his hand. "I want to do that."

Shutting his eyes, Seungmin let himself drop back on the couch as the boys kept on bickering. Changbin insisted on a nice outside proposal, while Hyunjin and Felix were strongly defending the idea of an engagement at a restaurant. Seeing the man on the verge of killing himself internally from the mess he had created, Minho walked to Seungmin before sitting next to him. As expected, he hadn't said a word since the subject was brought up. Until now.

"Congratulations."

Seungmin shrugged. "I haven't asked her yet."

"She'll say yes. The girl would literally jump off a bridge if you tell her to do so," he chuckled. "If you want my opinion, go with something simple. No need to go over the top."

"Thanks, Minho."

"I have an idea!" Chan exclaimed, eyes wide open. "Remember when we all went to the aquarium and the two of you ran away from us because we were too loud?"

"Yeah..?" Seungmin said, briefly getting a picture of the memory.

"Propose to her there! It's a nice place, not too many people if you choose the day and time properly, and it brings you back to a nice moment you had together!"

Seungmin hummed. "Actually, this is an excellent idea."

"Good morning!" you beamed at your boyfriend upon seeing him half asleep.

He groaned, still tired, as he sat down at the table in your apartment. Rubbing his eyes, he sniffed in the air before frowning.

"Babe, since when do you actually make pancakes with eggs and bacon?"

You shurgged. "Am I not allowed to treat my boyfriend well? Especially if he's about to propose in the following week?" you said nonchalantly, but that's all it took for Seungmin to jump up on his feet and stare at you with eyes wide open.

"What did you just say?"

"That I want to treat my boyfr-"

"The other part."

You snickered at him, devilishly. "You want to propose to me in the following week."

In an instant, his face turned completely white. "Who told you that?" he huffed, trying to act as if this was nonsense.

"Jeongin. Then I asked Jisung to confirm. And just to be sure, I asked Changbin after." you smiled. "Either they are all lying, or you really wanted to take me to the aquarium to propose."

Seungmin had no words. He was barely processing what you had just said. Weeks of planning, buying the ring, asking the guys to organize a nice set up, making calls here and there to go to a nice restaurant beforehand... All of his hard work thrown in the trash because his friends couldn't keep their mouth shut.

"Do I kill them or do I kill them?" he ended up mumbling, smoke coming out of his nostrils.

You walked around the counter, not forgetting to turn off the stove, before coming right in front of Seungmin. "Babe, it's alright. We had already talked about it before and we both know that's what we want." you pecked his lips, but he pouted. "Seungmin..." you sighed.

"I was sure you were going to say yes, don't get me wrong, but the surprise is still ruined."

He held you closer in his arms, and you pat his back in a soothing way. Seungmin would usually be laughing at these kinds of situations, so you knew he was definitely crushed by how he couldn't do his proposal properly.

"If it makes you feel any better, we can still go to the aquarium? I've already indirectly told you yes, so might as well celebrate it?"

That seemed to do the trick as he nodded happily before bringing you into a sweet kiss. "I have a great idea." he smirked after the kiss.

Your smile fell. Seungmin never had good ideas when he'd say he has one.

"What are you thinking of?"

What you didn't expect was to see the whole gang assembled in front of the building. You got a déjà vu from the time you left the boys behind with Seungmin because they were being chaotic as per usual. Seungmin was holding tight onto your hand, giving you some reassurance. You hated participating in his bad decisions, but you had to admit that the guys kind of deserved it.

"Guys, what are you doing here?" Seungmin sighed as you joined the group.

"We came for some support!" Felix exclaimed.

Changbin hit him with his elbow, giving him a death stare. "Emotional support from fishes." he justified.

Good saving Changbin.

"Sure..." Seungmin sighed. "Shall we go, Y/N?"

He led you inside. As he had planned, there was barely any people inside. He bought the tickets as you started to explore the place. The first thing you spotted were jellyfishes. You let go of Seungmin and ran to the tank. You felt like a child really, but the fluorescence of the animals were only too beautiful to not react this way. Seungmin came behind you and placed his hand on your hip before putting his chin on your shoulder.

"It's pretty." he commented. "Just like you."

You laughed at his word. "Well, well... Aren't you being sweet today, Minnie?"

"I'm always sweet." he pecked your cheek.

Laughs interrupted your moment. With a sighed, you looked to where the noise was coming from only to see the seven boys look your way.

"I swear to God, I'll kill them." Seungmin huffed in a whisper. "But it's good they're watching. They kind of have to if we want this to work."

"You're so evil." you rolled your eyes.

"I know, that's why you love me."

You moved along along and got to the tank were you could touch the sea cucumbers and the starfishes. You dragged Seungmin behind and encouraged him to touch the animals with you. He wasn't in for it much, but he eventually thought it was rather funny. Anything for you, if it meant you were happy. Soon, you went through a tunnel were small sharks species were swimming around. Seeing your uneasiness, Seungmin pulled you closer to him to make you feel that you had some sort of protection.

"I feel like I'm underwater." you mumbled. "It's so weird."

Moving forward, you then arrived the place you were looking forward to the least: the tropical fishes tank. This was the spot the guys and Seungmin chose for the proposal. Oddly enough, he did prepare everything. There was a letter on the glass of the tank attached by some tape. Curious, you approached it slowly.

"Why is there my name on this?" you laughed nervously to Seungmin, who only gave you a small smile in return.

You took the piece of paper and unfolded it to see, in a beautiful handwriting, a love letter. You turned to your boyfriend, confused since he hadn't told you about this detail beforehand.

"Go ahead, read it."

Still on your guards, your eyes went back to the writing. The moment you started to read, you actually wanted to cry.

My dear Y/N,

I know we haven't had the best moments together. It was mostly rough, filled with uncertainty as we explored our relationship. We've been together for a lot while, no? It still feels like yesterday when we went on our first date. I still can feel the blush you were putting on my cheeks that day.

Thank you for agreeing with my weird ideas. Thank you for keeping up with, not only me, but the boys too. Thank you for staying around although I know being away on tour can be hard for you. Most importantly, thank you for loving me.

I love you the most, and I wish us the best future together.

Your Minnie.

By then, Seungmin had wrapped his arms around you as you dropped a few tears. Along with your sniffs, you melted into his embrace lovingly as you murmured sweet words and thanks. He truly was your everything.

So when he put his knee down, you sobbed even more. How could you refuse to marry him like this, even while being aware this was all an act? The boys came closer, but still gave you some space, so they could watch from afar.

"Y/N, this is something we have been discussing for a while now. I love you so much and it would pain me if I never get to spend the rest of my days with you." Seungmin started, looking up at you.

You hoped the love and sincerity you saw in his eyes were raw and not faked for the show. You knew Seungmin better than this, and he was being genuine. If anything, he couldn't lie to you in your face. You were too precious for that.

"So..." he trailed off while taking out a small box from his pocket. "F/N, will you do me the pleasure of marrying me?"

As he opened the box, your gaze went straight to the ring. He picked the perfect one. Although it had a lot of small details, it remained simple with the small diamond on top of it. You didn't know you could cry more than this.

"I-" you started, but stopped yourself as you remembered what you needed to do. "I love you, Seungmin... But I can't..."

You heard gasps coming from the boys and quiet whispers, as they were clearly confused. Although you had planned of walking away, you did so only because you couldn't bear with Seungmin's face who had dropped instantly. Either he was an excellent actor, or you had truly hurt him. So you left, leaving his letter behind as you dropped it in front of him.

"I got you an ice cream." Jeongin said in a sad tone as he came back from the ice cream shop nearby.

The boys had left the aquarium not so long after you, and they moved to the park next to it. Jeongin had offered himself to get everyone a treat, but especially for the broken-hearted man

"Thank you, Innie." Seungmin said as he took the cone from him.

"I was sure she was going to say yes." Jisung muttered under his breath.

"We were all sure." Chan added. "She only refused the proposal, though, maybe she is simply not ready for such a commitment?"

Minho deadpanned at him. "They've been together for like, what, five years? She was already committed to him enough that there is no logic in her refusing, don't you think?"

"You can't be certain. What is she simply doesn't want to get married?"

"Nonsense." Felix joined in. "I've heard them talk about it before, and she told him about her dream wedding dress and shit."

"Alright, then. Did they fight?" Hyunjin questioned, but Changbin huffed in response.

"Did they look like they fought to you when they got here?" he rolled his eyes.

"Guys, it's alright." Seungmin stopped them. "Don't act like I'm not here."

They all quickly apologized, and then kept quiet. They weren't exactly sure what to say, they have never witnessed such a devastating moment before. They even less expected for it to happen to Seungmin.

"Are you doing alright?" Jeongin dared to ask.

Seungmin shrugged. "I don't feel good, for sure. It's like I haven't processed what happened yet."

Seungmin was rarely sad. Most of the boys didn't know how to react to this, especially when it was such a big turn of event that caused it. Changbin debated internally whether he should call you or not, at least to get an explanation out of you. Still, the main focus was on Seungmin.

"What are you going to do now?" Jisung, who had surprisingly remained rather quiet the entire time, asked.

"We can go back home, I guess. I don't know..."

"Wait for her call." Hyunjin said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "She'll call you for sure. In the meantime, try to get some rest."

He thanked his friends truthfully. He didn't expect this whole thing to actually hurt him. Still, he wanted to scare the shit out of the guys, and it all seemed to be working perfectly. But it became too much.

"It was a joke, guys." he finally admitted.

Hyunjin took his hand off him and stared widely at Chan. The others were as stunned, as they gave him a look of confusion.

"Care to explain, please?" Felix broke the awkward silence that was settling.

Seungmin sighed, a lump in his throat. "Y/N told me that Jeongin, Jisung and Changbin had ruined the surprise. I was so mad and disappointed that I had the stupid idea of pulling a prank on you. So basically, her refusing to marry me was the plan, but I'm starting to think it wasn't as funny as I originally anticipated it to be."

Changbin gave him an apologetic smile. "We're sorry for ruining it all. She said she would fake her surprise face, but it looks like you two got us." he laughed out.

"Seungmin, this is very wrong, you know that? We're sorry it didn't go as planned, but I don't think Y/N was faking her tears earlier." Chan sighed loudly.

"I know that." Seungmin groaned, putting his face in his hands, not holding back tears anymore. "And it actually hurt me when she said she couldn't, even though I was the one who told her to say this. I feel like shit."

Jeongin, who had dialed a number on his phone, put it away in his pocket as he shook his head. "She's not answering my calls."

"Go see her." Minho assured. "Talk it out with her, I'm sure you can figure this out."

Back in your apartment, you had changed into sweatpants and opened a pot of ice cream to eat in front of the television. This was so cliché, but you didn't care. You were genuinely hurting, and it seemed to be the only way to cope for now. Your phone rang again, signaling that one of the guys, most likely Changbin or Jeongin, had texted you yet again. Ignoring the calls, you simply increased the volume of your movie as tears were dripping out of your eyes. As the characters on the screen were in the middle of a dialogue, you heard a soft knock coming from the door.

"Busy." you yelled out, eyes still focused on the TV.

Another knock.

"Come back later."

One more.

You huffed as you put away your snack, getting up to look at the peephole. Seungmin... there he was. Standing at your front door, eyes swollen and a bit red. Though you were mad at him for the whole prank thing, he was still the love of your life, and seeing him like this pained you.

You unlocked the door and opened it, to his shock. He looked up at you and gave you a weak smile.

"Hey."

"Hi."

He took a deep breath. "Can I come in?"

"Baby, I'm so sorry for what happened." he mumbled.

You let him in and he walked upon your ice cream with your TV on. That's when he turned to you to take a better look at your appearance. You looked as much of a mess as him, maybe more, and it only made him feel worse.

You shrugged your shoulders, trying to play it cool. "All good. How did they react?"

"It doesn't matter."

You frowned. "Wasn't it the whole point of your idea?"

"Yes, but it was probably the worst idea I've ever had."

You cocked your head to the side, taken aback from his words. "You've had worse ideas than that, what do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Y/N." he said, started to get frustrated. "I hurt you."

"I mean, yeah, a little. But it was all fake, no?"

"Everything I said was true. Everything in that damn letter." he said as he pulled it out of his pocket. "It was all true. Because, guess what? I am insanely obsessed with you. The mere thought of losing you over this stupid ass plan destroyed me. Just ask any of the guys, I was a mess after you left."

"Obviously, you were acting and-"

"Love, I wasn't faking that. I told them the truth right away."

"Oh." you nodded your head slowly. "Just so you know, it did break my hurt refusing to marry you."

He smiled warmly, coming closer to you. "I know, and I'm sorry baby."

Your tears came back in your eyes as you pulled him in your embrace. "Don't fucking make me do this again."

"I won't, I promise."

He pulled away from you and wiped your tears with the hem of his sleeve. "While we're at it." he breathed out.

You observed him as he did the same motion as earlier that day. Putting a knee down, he took out the same box as he stared right back at your teary eyes.

"This is all sincere, I promise. I can't express how much you mean to me and I can't imagine a life where you are not by my side." he said before opening the little box, exposing the shining ring. "Will you marry me?"

"Fuck yes." you sobbed out.

He got up instantly before crashing his lips onto yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. It had a hint of saltiness because of your tears, but it only added to how meaningful it was.

"I love you too." you cried out while he put the ring around your finger. "But I hate you so fucking much."

"I know, baby."

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[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Puck Yourself

A/N: Hey y'all I know it's been a hot second since I've published anything but I've had this completed in my drafts for a few weeks now. I was planning on trying to get multiple parts to this all out at once but I've had a lot of essays due recently and continue to have quite a few due so oh well. Gotta prioritize school over this. But this AU is based off of the Lucky Charms series by drabblewithfrannybarnes. I love that series so much it's honestly one of my comfort ones I go back to a lot so yeah. Here's my own kinda take on what I think a similar college hockey AU would look like with Ari, throwing in the wild card of being Bucky Barnes' younger sister. Pairing: College Hockey!Ari Levinson x College Hockey!Bucky Barnes Younger Sister F!Reader Word count: 6,180 words Wanings: Swearing, strong moments of angers, mentions of sex

Summary: Meeting the stereotypical player, hockey boy Ari was exactly what you expected. Until you actually talk and realize he might not be all that bad. The problem is, Bucky things otherwise.

Bucky had finally convinced you to come up and see him.

It had taken well over a year, multiple breaks, and a hell of a lot of conniving on his part to finally get you to visit him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see your brother, or his school, you just didn’t really want to stay at a house full of college hockey boys. It sounded like a complete nightmare, and as you sat in your car mentally preparing to deal with it, you seriously questioned why you had agreed to this.

But your protective, occasional pain in your ass, best friend of a brother Bucky had an air mattress set up for your for two days, had agreed to pay for gas and food, and had solemnly swore to your parents to look out for you at all times. It was pretty believable, especially considering his physical size and demeanor.

As you parked your car in front of the house that still had red solo cups littered out front, a random hole in the yard, and just screamed “testosterone” at the top of it’s lungs you seriously began to reconsider everything. Right now, you could have been in your apartment in the city with your friends and roommates planning on a night out while you were on break. But instead, you were about to enter the only thing worst than a frat house: a college hockey teams house.

“Y/N/N!” You heard a shout as you opened the trunk of your car. You looked over to see your brother standing on the porch, with a smile, beginning to jog towards you. As soon as he reached you he engulfed you in a big hug that made you feel as if you were being swallowed whole.

“Hey Buck,” You replied, hugging him back. “Missed me?”“You know it,” He smiled back, going ahead to grab your bag from the car. You only had your backpack hanging off one shoulder, Bucky carrying the rest. He made it look so easy, like the suitcase was a small bag of groceries.

As you entered the house, the same aroma of every party you had been to flooded your nose. Except no one was actually here. You gave Bucky a look which he quickly read as disgust of sorts, “I promise I cleaned my room.”“Uh huh,” You replied looking around the place. There was no particular order to the couches, and literally no other furniture other than the four of them. The leather was worn and you were sure sticky by now. The floor managed also to be sticky, not shocking given who lived here. There were a couple framed photos on the wall of teams both present and past but that was about it.

“I promise, the actual living room for us is upstairs,” He told you, leading you that way. “The downstairs is really just for parties.”“I could tell, Buck.” You replied, crossing your arms as you began walking up the large stairs. “Why did I even agree to come here?” You questioned out loud. You knew Bucky rolled his eyes even though you were behind him.

“Because you love me oh so dearly,” He stated, you scoffed. “But seriously, I’ve visited your school like five times and you’re only a second year. You’ve been here once.”“Okay, well I live closer to home, in a city with stuff to do, and you were with mom and dad.”“There’s plenty of stuff to do here,” He argued back, fumbling with the key in his hand to open the door to his room.

“Mhm, like stare at the corn fields.” Now he actually rolled his eyes and you saw it. “And I’ve been here more than once! For all your championship games last year, and the year before.”“Those don’t count,” He explained, entering his room as you followed behind him. “School wasn’t happening.”“Okay, whatever.” You sighed, sitting down on his bed and placing your backpack on the floor. He hadn’t lied, he had actually cleaned his room. It did smelled like a can of Febreeze had been violated and died in there, but it was much better than downstairs. A subtle knock came ringing at his door. “Hey Sam!” You smiled up at him as he walked in, giving you a big smile back.

“There’s my favorite sibling of any player.” He said. You stood up, allowing him to give you a hug as well. “How’re you? How was the drive?”“Fine and fine.” You replied, sitting back on the bed as Bucky began making room in his closet for your stuff.

“Ya know, you’re a real trooper for staying here.” Sam pointed out, leaning against one of Bucky’s wall. You both looked at him, as he now stood with a large shrug.

“See, I told you!” You said to Bucky, “Be grateful.”“I was grateful you’re here, but I’m becoming less by the second.” He said eyeing you. You scoffed.

“If you ever need a break, you know where my room is-“ Sam began but Bucky was quick to interrupt him.

“No, there will never be a moment in time where Y/N is in your room with you alone, or anyone else’s for that matter.” Bucky stated pointing firmly at Sam. “I already went over this with everyone.”“Hey, out of every other guy in this house need I remind you I’m the most trustworthy with your younger sister?” Sam replied, with his hands up in a sort of surrender offering.

“Yeah, but still.” Bucky said, going back to clearing out part of his closet. “If Rogers were here he would be the most trustworthy.”

You missed Steve, but he was away visiting family this weekend. Besides, he had been a second brother to you your whole life, so it wasn’t as if you wouldn’t see him again. As soon as Christmas break rolled around he would be at your family’s house for a day or two to celebrate.“Damn, might as well rub salt in that wound.” Sam sighed, “Anyways, let me know if any of the guys here try to play any games.” Sam said, now looking at you. His hands were on his hips, his face now straight and serious. You nodded.

“Now you’re on my side for once?” Bucky fired at Sam.

“When it comes to your younger sister in a house full of guys that are borderline animals around any attractive girl? Yes.” Sam replied confidently. “All I’m saying is you only have so much power here, Barnes. You’re up against guys the same size and mindset as you. You’re gonna need as much backup as you can get with this one.”

So far all the guys here had been overwhelming nice. Maybe the dual threat of Bucky and Sam scared them off of you, but a part of you at least hoped they were just this naturally respectful to women (somehow, though, you did doubt that hopefulness). They wanted to talk to you about your school, what you were studying, how it was growing up with Bucky.

“So you’re the brains, huh?” One of the guys asked, leaning against the counter practically chugging a Gatorade bottle of water down.

“I guess,” You shrugged with a smile.

“That was how we grew up,” Bucky was quick to interject, finishing up one of his assignments at the counter. “She was always the smart one, I was the sporty one.”

You actually secretly praised your parents for raising you that way so there really was no competition for who was better. Each of you were good at your own things, and helped each other with the other. You always helped Bucky with homework (and still did), while Bucky helped you train to pass the one basic P.E. test you had to take.

You were munching on a bowl of chips some of the guys had set out for you, continuing to talk when the back door opened. “You comes back for once without a girl, huh?” Sam questioned from where he stood next to you.

It was pretty hard to ignore the absolute unit that walked in the door. He was a tank of a person, in the best way possible. Incredibly muscular, tall. At least 6’6, maybe closer to 6’7. His presence towered over the room of hockey boys, which was something you never knew could happen. His auburn brown hair was slicked back, the ends falling just under his ears. A beard covered his jawline, one which you imagined was incredibly defined and sculpted to perfection.

He set down his backpack which looked regular sized for him, but comically large on the floor. He turned to Sam, and in turn his eyes quickly met yours. They were a crystal blue, a color so prominent you figured his eyes must have been bleach white underneath to let such a color be seen. “Who’s this?” He asked, pointing to you and looking back to Sam. His face seemed a bit confused out of everything, with a hint of being pleasantly surprised.

“Y/N,” Sam commented, popping a chip in his mouth with a quick crunch and swallow. “Bucky’s sister. Younger sister.” he clarified.

“Ah,” He replied, approaching you with a smile that could make a line of 100 women pass out. “Name’s Ari. Ari Levinson.” He said, sticking his hand out. You took it and gave it a shake, one that you could tell dwarfed his typical shake but he went with it.

You had heard about Ari Levinson. Plenty of times from following a couple of the guys’ Instagrams and the hockey teams official one. He was a third year, like your brother. He was a star of sorts on the team, had already been picked up by a NHL team the year prior. But from what Bucky had mentioned, his parents had convinced him to stay the full four years to get his degree. And with good enough lawyers, they had convinced whatever team he was heading to to let him finish out his school and immediately hop into the sport professionally after he had a degree with his name on it.

“Y/N,” You replied. “Barnes, if that wasn’t already implied.” He gave a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I could tell.” He told you, leaning against the counter on the other side. “You two look a lot alike.”“Yeah, we got that all the time as kids.” You told him.

“I bet,” He said, his eyes trailing you up and down more slowly than what you felt was typical friendliness. You suddenly became a bit conscious at the leggings you were wearing and the fact his eyes had lingered a tad bit longer on your thighs. “The black hair suits you better though, especially for those beautiful eyes. Never seen ones like ‘em.”“Levinson really-“ Sam began but you interjected.

“I bet that’s what you tell all your girls, huh?” You replied with a smirk. The group of guys still sitting at the counter choked on their drinks as their eyes widened. You could feel Sam smiling from next to you.

“Haha, very funny.” Ari replied, a bit more stern this time. “It has a 100% pass rate though.”“Change it to 99,” You shot back, “Welcome to the bottom 1%.” This again resulted in dead silence around the room. Ari gave you a smile.

“I’ll get to you eventually, beautiful.” He said, standing back up fully.

“Gonna have to get through Bucky to do that.” You replied.

“Is that a challenge?” Ari smirked down at you, biting his bottom lip. “I love a good challenge, sweetheart.”

“More of a factual statement,” You said, leaning on the counter towards him. “I would say more an impossibility.”“We’ll see about that,” Ari said, grabbing his bag of the floor and swinging it over his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon, baby doll.” He added with a smile and wink before he departed down the hall and towards the stairs.

“Is he always like that?” You turned to Sam with a look of slight disgust. But Sam looked a little more worried than that.

“Kinda,” He replied, “Just not that persistent.”

“Oh?”“Means he actually wants to get to you,” Sam explained, “We won’t let him. But don’t tell Bucky, yet at least. Not sure Ari’s ego can protect him from your brother’s fist.”

You had actually frequented parties back at your last school. So standing here now on a Friday night with a red solo cup in your hand filled with mystery seltzer didn’t feel all that foreign. The only difference this time, however, was that you didn’t have your traditional friend group surrounding you. Instead you were talking to the occasional one or two guys on the team who would inevitably find a girl to their liking to go and coerce into their bed. Then when they left and you got bored of standing in the corner alone, you would go and bother Bucky who was going between working behind the bar and talking to his girlfriend, Natasha. If Bucky was too busy you went and talked to Nat and her friends, who were incredibly sweet and gracious with you even though you constantly felt like an intrusion.

“You need something?” Your brother asked, craning his neck back to see you. His front was facing a line of girls waiting for their fixing of cheap beer he was pouring into cups. You shook your head. “Bored again?” You nodded. “Why don’t you go talk to Nat? She loves talking to you.” You rolled your eyes.

“I feel like an intrusion, Bucky.” You replied, now standing next to him and taking a sip of your drink. “Like I know her friends are only a year older than me but it feels different.” Bucky huffed, handing the girl in front of him another drink.

“You can always head up to my room if you want.” You nodded hoping that was the answer he would give.

He quickly dug in his back jean pockets for his keys, fishing them out and handing them to you. “Just lock the door behind you, okay?” He asked and you nodded. “And I’ll text you when I’m on my way up. Don’t answer the door for anyone that knocks.” You nodded again, thanking him and making your way back through the crowded bodies tucked shoulder to shoulder with one another.

Thankfully the guy guarding the stairs recognized you as you held up Bucky’s key. He smiled with a nod, letting you by and away from the extremely crowded dance floor and blaring music.

As you walked down the hall you could hear laughter from a few of the rooms, and most definitely fucking from others. You rounded the corner to where Bucky’s room was, stopping at the end where his room stood and placing the key in the fob. As you twisted it to the side, you couldn’t help but to overhear another door down the hall opening. You looked up briefly, to see Ari standing there arms crossed as he leant on the trim of the door.

A drop dead gorgeous brunette girl walked out. She looked young, easily a freshman. You questioned if she was even that or maybe a senior in high school with a repeated excuse as to why she didn’t have a student card of valid ID with date of birth, but insisting she was 18. She was slim, a size four around the waist on a bloated day for her. She managed to have great boobs, and beautiful long hair. She could’ve been mistaken for a model for all you knew.

He gave her a signature smile, she asked him if he would call her.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He said but you could hear the emptiness in that from a mile away.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran off down the stairs, her hair slightly frizzy and makeup now ever so smudged. You sighed to yourself. How nice it must be to casually get guys like that and have the nativity to not know A. He would never call you back and B. He would pretend he had never met you even if you saw him again. Your attachment issues could never.

You pushed the door open, stepping one foot in when your name was called. “Y/N, right?” You heard someone approaching. You looked up to see Ari standing maybe four feet away. You nodded. “What’re you doing up here, all alone?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Bored.”“There’s a party going on downstairs, you know that right?” He asked with a smile and light laugh. You nodded.

“Parties aren’t fun unless your at least three shots in and surrounded by people you actually know, and like.” You replied, “I am in none of those situations right now.” He gave a tight smile and nod. “You seem to be having fun.” You motioned back down the hall to his door. He let out a hearty laugh.

“Wanna take some guesses?” He asked, taking a few steps closer to you so now you were within a foot of each other. He towered over you, arms crossed leaning against the wall.

“Not really, no.” You said in all honestly. He raised an eyebrow in question. “I mean, I don’t really do that stuff. I wouldn’t really have a clue.”“What, like sex?”“Yeah, and in turn hookups.” You replied. You were giving away way too much information right now. You blamed it on the few drinks in your system.

“You’re too pretty to have not had sex yet.” You scoffed.

“Please,” You nearly laughed, “I’m a six on a good day and I’ve come to terms with that. You just got with an eleven on a bad day. Don’t talk to me about that.” You replied, having had enough of this conversation and heading into Bucky’s room, before you could fully close the door though his hand was on it.

“Were you an ugly kid?” He asked, but as soon as the words left his mouth a face of regret took over.“What the fuck did you just ask me?” You looked at him confused as hell, hand still on the door and moving to slam it. He held that attempt back to.

“No I mean- shit, not like that.” He pleaded, one foot in the one the other out to prevent any other tries at closing the door. You rolled your eyes at him. “I mean- I was one. And it took me a while to realize that I got better looking as I got older, and now I can sleep with gorgeous women and feel like an equal to them.”

You looked at him with complete and utter disbelief. There was no way this Greek God of a man was seriously telling you how it feels to be attractive enough to sleep with whoever you want. Especially considering your struggle to find a halfway decent guy to call your first boyfriend, and your virginity that was still hidden deep somewhere in you. “Alright, nice talk, champ. That’s enough for tonight.” You said trying to close the door but his body blocking it. “If you don’t move I’m going to yell bloody murder.”“Uh huh, I would like to see that.”“You really want Bucky and Sam to come up and deal with you?” You asked, this time with a dead serious tone and expression. “Oh, and Steve when he gets back.” Ari took a long, hard look at you before backing away.

“Okay, fine. I was trying to start a conversation and fucked up. I’m sorry for implying you were an ugly kid.” He said with a sigh, standing outside the door still.

You had every right to slam it in his face, in fact you thought you should’ve. But he did seem genuinely apologetic, and for a guy that seemed as douchey as him, you assumed that took a lot of effort.

“Fine, I forgive you.” You replied.

“Thank you,” He said back, leaning on the doorway again. “Listen, I know you don’t want to do anything given your- situation.”“Watch it.” You wanted, motioning to the door as you silently implied your ability to slam it right in his face at any given moment. “But, would you like to chill out with me?” He asked, “Someone’s gonna come knocking on Barnes door soon enough begging to fuck in there and I don’t want you to have to fend for yourself in that situation.” He explained, “I’ll strip my sheets now, I have a chair you can sit on and a TV in there. We can just listen to music, chill. I don’t care if you want to sit on your phone the whole time and ignore me. Hell, I’ll give you a charger. But you are a teammates sibling, and I want to know you’re okay.”

So Ari Levinson now cared about you? The same dude you flirted in front of the majority of the team today, who just walked out with a model-level girl he would never talk to again? And he was worried about you right now, and seemed at least halfway genuine? You sighed.

“Fine,” You said, closing the door behind you and re-locking it. “But no funny business.”“None,” He swore, giving you firm eye contact. “I swear.”“Good,” You nodded at him, “And I will not be sitting on your bed regardless of the sheet situation.”“Aw honey, it wasn’t like I actually fucked her.” He explained, “She just sucked me off.” You gave a fake gagging sound.

“I think I would rather jump off the balcony here than get on my knees for you.” You replied. He gave you a smile.

“Eh, you would be surprised.”

Ari was shockingly… normal. He was actually just a chill guy with good music taste. That shocked you the most. He admitted a lot of his playlist was filled with modern rap because that’s what a lot of the guys listened to but he preferred 80s and 90s rock and alternative. It was what he had grown up listening to with his parents and something you quickly bonded over.

You had begun to talk a bit about relationships. He had opened up with how he had broken up with his long term girlfriend six months prior and was still reeling from a chunk of the effect and realizing how surface level the entire relationship felt. He also added how hook ups were easier. No commitment, he could focus on hockey and school.

“What about you?” He asked, “What lucky guys have been with you?” You scoffed.

“I’ve talked to a couple guys,” You explained, “But nothing really serious. I got my first kiss, date, all that stuff out of the way senior year of high school before college. First going beyond first base in freshman year. Talked to a guy long term last semester but it didn’t really work. I’m just kinda waiting for the right person but I also know I’m too ambitious for my own good when it comes to relationships.”“Oh, how so?” He asked, leaning on his bed as you sat in his swivel chair by his desk.

“I just- I focus so much on school and extracurriculars that I don’t really have time for a boyfriend. I want one, but I also am not great at talking to guys either. Flirting is my worst enemy.” You said, “My last kiss was over a year ago.” He nodded slightly, almost in a sympathetic way.

“I don’t think you’re the problem.” He mentioned next, looking over at where you sat. “I mean, you really are stunning. You’re incredibly smart. Bucky always tells us how much of a hard worker you are, and how you go out and are a social butterfly. Just- at our age, not many guys are looking for commitment. And it sucks for girls like you but give it a few years.” You groaned, throwing your head back.

“Everyone says that and I’m so sick of it.” You told him, “But then I look at Bucky, and he and Nat have been going strong for over a year now.”

“Bucky is also a really special guy,” Ari mentioned, “Listen, he and I aren’t all that close but everyone on the team is close to an extent. We travel together, play together, practice together, get meals together- hell we live together. And he really is a great guy. You’re very lucky to have him as a brother.”“I know,” You replied with a tight smile, “He’s one of my best friends and I’m very grateful to have someone like that who’s just built in to my life.”

“He really looks up to you, ya know.” Ari said, smiling at you. “Even though you’re younger he’s always bragging about your accomplishments and how smart you are. I mean, you are going to an amazing school. I remember when you got in he was practically jumping up and down and telling everyone.” You smiled to yourself knowing that you reacted the same way when he got into his dream school for hockey. “You’re really special, Y/N. And don’t ever let a guy, especially one like me, take that from you or tell you otherwise.”

“Thanks Ari.” You replied, smiling up at him. “You know you’re not as tough as you seem. You should let some more people see it sometimes.”“I only let people I really, really like past that part of me.” He said, “There aren’t many.”

Just as he finished saying that a string of absolute banging punches came at the door. “Shit.” He murmured, getting up.

You backed away on the chair as Ari opened up the door to reveal a seething and red Bucky. “Why the fuck is she in here?” He demanded, pushing Ari back. Despite Ari having at least a couple inches on Bucky, he nearly fell back onto his bed having to catch himself in midair.

“Barnes we didn’t do anything-““Shut the fuck up!” He yelled, Sam now rushing into the room. He tried to grab Bucky by the arms but was thrown off with ease and went tumbling back almost falling into the door.

Bucky through all his rage and might managed to get Ari pinned up against the nearest wall, his hands in fists around the collar of his shirt. “If you fucking touched her-“You had had enough of his behavior, getting up and marching over to stand right behind him. “Bucky, he didn’t dot anything. We didn’t do anything.” You clarified. Bucky looked back at you, face scrunched in pure anger, loosening his grip only a bit on Ari. “I swear, you know I wouldn’t do anything. I haven’t. Let alone with one of your teammates.”

It took Bucky a second to realize what you were saying, but as soon as he did he let go of Ari. “Look at her again, and you’re dead.” He said, firmly pointing to Ari who was still against the wall with his finger in his face. Ari couldn’t even respond before Bucky was dragging you out by your upper arm and back to his room.

You had gotten a very stern talking to that night about the dangers of Ari. Bucky was still fuming, but at least he had kept his voice down to a not-yelling level. It didn’t help all that much that you were fighting back some, because at this point you were arguing to a brick wall. But at least you were able to clarify that nothing had actually happened, and Bucky seemed to believe you. But that wouldn’t stop him from trying to keep Ari as far away from you as possible.

It was their Saturday game where you found yourself sitting next to Nat in this cold arena. You had learned over the many years of attending Bucky’s hockey games how to layer and do it properly. Leggings were always a go-to, with a team t-shirt as well. Bucky had let you borrow a quarter-zip he had from last year with your last name embroidered into the top left corner. It’s size made it incredibly cozy and warm, especially right now. Nat was in his jersey, and had every right to be. Wearing a guy’s jersey was girlfriend code, not younger sister code.

The two of you were watching them practice a bit before the game. Bucky would give you two the occasional smile, you would do it back. What you didn’t expect, however, were the occasional but very prominent glances over at you by Ari.

“So, you and Levinson?” Nat asked from next to you. Her tone of voice indicated her genuine curiosity, non-judgmental, and ‘I won’t tell Bucky’ attitude of girl code. But your eyes couldn’t help themselves as they gave a roll. “Oh c’mon, there’s at least chemistry there.”“Uh huh,” You sarcastically replied, still watching Bucky glide across the ice. All these guys made it look too damn easy. “There’s nothing between Ari and I, really.”“You do know everyone heard about Buck’s little show down with him, over you, right?” She asked next. You groaned in frustration.

“It wasn’t even that!” You fired back, “I literally hung out with him for like an hour or two. That was it. Nothing else. I’m a virgin, Nat, you know that. I’m not going to just give that away to a guy like Ari.” You replied. She gave a tight smile in defeat.

“All I was going to say is Ari really isn’t that bad.” She replied. You looked over at her with a face scrunched in confusion. “He had a long term girlfriend. Like a solid two years. Treated her like a princess, really. Paid for everything, showed her off at every game like she was the trophy. Hell, he even posted her on his Instagram. An Instagram that has been a valley on emptiness since high school.” She crossed her arms, her own eyes now looking at them. “Listen, don’t tell Bucky I said this, ever, but if he offers you his number or anything… I would take it.”

You didn’t have long to think about what she had just said when the buzzer went off announcing the game had started. All the guys went back to their bench, taking their respective spots and fumbling with their mouth guards. You gave a deep sigh.

The game started and was going well in their favor. This was by no means shocking, this lineup happened to be one of the best teams in the country this year at the college level. You watched Bucky strategically on defense, a perfect fit for him. He always knew when he needed to get aggressive and not, a strength not many of these guys had at quite the same level he did. You and Nat gave each other a high five and a cheer every time he successful blocked an opposing member from even getting close to their goalie, or when he flawlessly recovered a failed attempt at a shot back to an offensive player.

When the final buzzer rang, the boys were up by four points. The all gave each other small hugs on the ice, walking off a moment later with smiles and walking back to the locker room. You and Nat walked over to their side of the ice, patiently waiting a good distance down from the locker room. This allowed for crew to come in and out and start cleaning up after the game with the already crowded hallway.

It took 20 or so minutes for Bucky to come out first with Sam by his side. You gave them both big smiles as they came up to you and hugged you. “Thanks for coming out, Little Barnes.” Sam said, letting you go from a powerful hug.

“No problem,” You smiled up at him, “I love watching you guys play. It’s very fun to see men want to shove each other with some class over a rubber puck.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“You did great.” Nat smiled, leaning onto Bucky’s arm as he gave her a kiss on the top of the head.

“You ready to head out?” Sam turned to Bucky and asked him. He nodded. “Wanna come with?” He turned back to you. Before you could even respond, Bucky was speaking.“She’s coming,” He said matter-of-factly. “And don’t even try and worry about getting in underage, we know everyone there. It won’t be a problem.”

“Are you actually gonna let me drink?” Was your next question.

“Don’t act like you don’t do it every weekend,” He replied, starting his walk towards the door with Nat under his arm. “I see your Instagram stories.”

You rolled your eyes and followed right behind, Sam next to you. “Can I use the bathroom real quick?” You asked, all of them nodded.

“We’ll meet you at the car, you know where it is right?” Sam asked and you nodded, jogging off to the side area where the bathrooms were.

As you walked back out, still shaking your hands a little to let them air dry more, you looked over to see Ari standing about fifteen feet down, surrounded by a group of three girls nonetheless. He had that signature smirk on his face that would make any girl really believe he was falling in love with them when all he wanted was a solid fuck and a quick goodbye.

All three of them giggled in sync at whatever he was saying, one of them getting closer to him every couple of seconds. He was just a woman magnet, and while you didn’t blame any of those girls for finding him attractive, their desperation was a bit embarrassing.

You chose not to think much of it, walking off and towards the front door of the arena to walk out and find Sam’s truck. Just before you approached the door, you heard someone call your name. You knew better than to turn around, but your instinct kicked in without any thought. And there stood Ari Levinson.

“Hey,” He said, standing there for a moment as if you were going to continue a conversation you hadn’t even started, “Uh, thanks for coming out.”“I was here for Bucky.” You quickly replied, pointing to the last name on your sweater.

“Well, I mean- yeah I knew that-““It’s what you tell every girl that comes to these games, right?” You said with a tight smile, “I saw you talking to your groupies back there.” He took a sigh to himself, looking down at the floor for a moment with his arms crossed over his chest. His hair fell a bit beyond his ears and over his forehead, him having to push it back as soon as he looked at you again.

“I really hate how you read me like an open book.”“I’m an English major, what can I say.” You immediately replied, letting him have a quick second to respond, and a quick second he left empty. You started to walk towards the door. “I gotta go, Buck’s waiting for me-“

“Can I get your number?” He asked next. You turned around to face him again with a confused look on your face. “Please?” You sighed out loud.

“For what exactly?” You asked. “I have nothing you want. I’m not going to have sex with you, or suck your dick for that matter.”“I don’t want you for sex and you know that.” He semi-aggressively stated, “I just- need someone to talk to sometimes. And you seem to be really good at listening and advice and all that stuff.”“Really?” You asked, even more confused than before. He nodded. “I’m not a therapist Ari.” He groaned out loud, letting his head fall back in frustration.

“I know just-“ He started, now approaching you and leaning down to whisper something. “Listen, I like you. More than other girls. I want to get your number to know you better, ya know, talk?”

“Could you say it louder for the people in back?” You smiled at him as he let out a very hearty sigh. “Fine, I give up-““Just give me your phone.” You said, sticking your hand out. He gave you a look of slight disbelief. “I will give you my number.” He quickly dug the device out of his sweatpants pocket and handed it over. As soon as you typed it in, you handed it back.

“When do you leave?”“Tomorrow.”“Of course.” He sighed, pocketing his phone again. “You got any time to see me?”“What? For a date?”“Yeah, exactly that.” He replied, “We can do what you want. Coffee, lunch, I don’t care.” “A coffee is fine.” You said back, “I’m leaving at 10. Meet me at 10:30 somewhere?”“I’ll text you the details.”

[internetmisfitsworld]

So far from what I've seen, the reboot doesn't showed or mentioned any implications that Makarov and Yuri were former friends or served together in the army. Hell by the looks of it, Yuri looks much older than Mak.

So I'm guessing in this new timeline, Activision probably won't go with that route anymore.

I noticed that not many people saw how much Yuri truly meant to Makarov. I'll go as far to say that Yuri was the LAST and ONLY shreds of humanity that's left in Makarov. Just a tiny piece.

Now why would I say that Yuri was his last shreds of humanity? I mean surely it's not possible right? After all, this is the same man who shot at him, almost blew him to pieces and literally KILLED him at the end.

Well, here's a few hints that I noticed.

(Long essay here. Because why not.)

(I'm feeling a bit emo over the fact that I'm gonna miss these two bastards dynamics.)

1. 1996 and 2011 flashback

He seemed so happy and content with Yuri during the flashback scene. His little smile when talking about the future of Ultranationalist to him. It seemed so genuine I almost forgot this man is a terrorist lol.

Also, it's kinda wholesome to know that these two were always joined at the hip. First, Pripyat then the whole nuking the US army. Must've been one hell of a duo back then to be picked as second in commands of Zakhaev. Well, either that or Zakhaev didn't have the heart to separate them 🤣 (they both shared one braincell).

Zakhaev: No. Yuri cannot go with you for this mission, Vladimir. He must stay here.

Makarov:

Yuri:

Zakhaev:

Makarov: ☹️

Yuri: ☹️

Zakhaev: 😑

Zakhaev: FINE. BOTH OF YOU GO!

2. No Russian

I wonder why didn't Mak killed Yuri sooner when he found out that Yuri was snitching on him to the FSB. Unless he found out about it on his way to the airport, then there was no reason to kill him at the airport.

I mean, why? Why did it just moments away from committing "the most world changing" act? He could've just killed him at the safehouse? There must've been someone guarding the safehouse, so if he wanted to pull the whole "let him suffer till his last moment" to Yuri, the safest way to do that was at the safehouse. At least his guards will shoot him if he so much as stand on his feet.

It makes me wonder if he was having hesitation? It's this complex feelings of the fact that he doesn't necessarily wants Yuri dead but he also doesn't really care if he lives either. He can't have him in his circle anymore due to his betrayal but it will set a bad example to his men if he lets Yuri live.

But he have to kill him in front of his men, so that they know he's not to be fucked with and he's not going soft. He can't afford any flaws. Especially now that he's the leader.

So the plan was to shoot Yuri in the abdomen area, under the pretense of "let him enjoy his last moment", and then count on him having the strength to crawl his way out of there.

Mind you, there's even an unused voiceline of Mak stopping the other from finishing Yuri off.

"No. Let him enjoy these last moments."

Which is bullshit, not to mention how uncharacteristically careless of him to pull this lol.

Because first of all, he and Yuri had fought side by side before, so he must've known just how far and how much Yuri is willing to push his strength and haul ass. He must've known Yuri's stubborn ass will NOT just lay there dying. He KNOWS Yuri would drag his ass up that elevator, hell even the fucking stairs if he have to, just to survive.

Like Mak, my dude, I know the chance of him catching up with you and shooting your ass was low due to him suffering from blood loss and everything, but still, my man, the risk is THERE.

That is dangerously stupid Mak agagaggaa you damn softie idiot.

But yeah I guess shooting up the airport was not the only successful mission that day. I'm certain he must've, unintentionally and discreetly, let out sigh of relief when he heard Yuri survived.

But also another incoming headache. Because he damn sure knows Yuri's gonna go after him using all the information that he knows about him.

3. Blood Brothers

Prior to this mission, we seen plenty times where Yuri gave intels about Makarov to Price and Soap. Some of those intels even sound... too personal. The kind of intels where you need to know him personally to be able to know that much. And sure enough Soap caught on to that during the Blood Brothers briefing;

Soap: Which vehicle will he be in?

Yuri: They constantly rotate for security. We won't know until he steps out.

Soap: You seem to know a lot about Makarov.

And the silence that followed after that lmao. I'm was dying to know the look on Soap and Yuri's face. I'm guessing Soap was hella suspicious and Yuri was pretending not to exist.

Also, I can imagined Yuri's guilt for not revealing the whole truth of who he was and his relations with Makarov.

Makarov had many "friends", no doubt due to his cold, no-nonsense yet charismatic charm. However, Yuri proved to be one of the only people who can adapt to his ways and doesn't cowered, like other people, from his steely mismatched eyes.

An equal. He was his closest friend. His only, truest friend, to be exact. Blood brothers. Brothers whom once bled together, not cause each other to bleed. Brothers whom once fought side by side, not against each other. Brothers whom once saved each other's lives countless times. Brothers whom suffer together, laugh together. Aight I'm getting emo here I'll stop.

Alright back on the topic. So, he must've known that Price, Yuri, and Soap were gonna assassinate him. He probably had the tower opposite the hotel planted with bombs as security measure but when he looked right at them (as Soap mentioned), his suspicion was confirmed.

It amazed me he chose this method instead of having his men snipe them. Not to mentioned he spoiled the surprise too. The tower that Soap and Yuri was in had huge ass open walls, which easily allows them to jump in time. Yeah they could still die from the high jumps but the survival chance was still there. The only reason Soap died was because of his previous unheal stab wound reopening again.

This man seems to really have a problem to kill his former friend didn't he? Like, how did you failed to kill him TWICE 😭✋️ ??

I'm sure his men at that point was sick of it.

Inner Circle dude: Sir, I think we should just snipe them from a distance. They won't see it coming.

Makarov: No, we're gonna use the bomb. But detonate it after I dramatically announce myself.

Inner Circle dude: But sir, that means they will have the time to jump off and survives?

Makarov: JUST DO AS I SAY.

Inner Circle dude:

He really kept on giving Yuri the chance to live. Even more funny, he still referred Yuri as "my friend" (albeit mockingly so but still).

4. Dust to Dust

Oh this mission breaks my heart in so many ways and reasons. Yuri dying, Price being alone.

But most of all, this moment right here.

This and Pripyat, was one of the two moments where he looks most human. It is a rather... oddly unique sight, seeing the big bad Vladimir Makarov, the monster, the terrorist who coldly slaughtered an airport filled with people,

.....staring so painfully disoriented and conflicted at his dead former friend that he just killed.

No doubt, even before he shot that gun, he's AWARE it was Yuri shooting at him. Because, who else. It's only him and Price. But of course, out of instinct, he reacts anyway.

And after all that adrenaline fades away, only then he truly let it sink in that the person he just shot three times, was Yuri. And fuck does it hurts him alot more than that pain in his stomach.

Mind you, at this point Price has already risen up, on his knees, ready to tackle him, and he STILL didn't turn around. Seconds must've felt like eternity for him. Man was lost in his head.

That's how long this man stares at Yuri's dead body. That's how much Yuri's death affects him to the point he loses his focus on his surrounding. It's like in those few seconds, he was having a hard time taking in the fact that;

a) he just killed his only friend.

b) he really is alone now. he just killed the only person who knows him truly, well before he turn into the monster that he is now.

He snapped out of it at the last minute, and even then he seems hesitant. Not because he was hesitated to kill Price but he was hesitated to live.

He knows he's screwed the moment he turns around. He realized just how much he fucked up for losing his focus. It's like at that point he just gave up on fighting. Yeah I know he still fights back if we were not quick enough to continously strangle him but still he doesn't seem to try hard enough.

For the first time in a long time, he was exhausted. Yuri's death drained him of all the fight he had left in him.

Yuri shooting at Makarov is not the only thing that saves Price. Yeah, it helps distract + weakening Makarov.

But I promise you, if Yuri didn't have any meaningful friendship with Mak and was just another random soldier defected from the Ultranationalist, Price would've been dead. Yeah change my mind.

Look at how fast Makarov's reaction time when Yuri shot at him. Mind you, this man just seconds ago was barely able to STAND UP, holding his stomach in pain, clearly suffered from major injuries in the abdominal areas.

The second that bullet hits his right shoulder, he slumped down for like 1 second, lift that gun up, take his aim, and fired that shit up. So pretty much he won't have a problem to immediately turn around and shoot Price as well.

But since said problem was Yuri, and so, Price got lucky.

And now it seems in the reboot, chances are, we will never get to this again.

(Also, I'm aware that there are people who ships them romantically. Which is perfectly fine. I personally sees them as close friends, like brothers. But hey, even I enjoyed Makayuri contents sometimes. So just letting you know that and I hope people can respect that.)

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Fate is Definitely Drunk [2]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (it’s a female reader, most of mine will be unless it is requested as something else)

Warning: pining, cursing (of course), self-doubt/anxiety

Word Count: 1,788

Summary: Everyone has the words their soulmate will first say to them written on their skin somewhere. You have the most average words in the known universe so you assume you’ll have a soulmate that matches that. Fate ain’t happy you underestimated her.

‘I’ve been searching for—’ No. ‘Captain, I am—’ Nope. ‘Now that is America’s ass—’ Hell no. ‘Mr. Rogers—’ Definitely not. This wasn’t a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

You were beginning to realize why these soul marks were kind of a ‘spur of the moment’ thing that fate sprung on humanity. Planning them absolutely sucked. You were sitting at your desk staring at a notepad with literally 25 different phrases all crossed out with a sharpie. This was hell. You had missed your cue to speak, like an idiot, and now the universe was punishing you.

Captain America was your soulmate. The Captain America. The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan. The guy you had written an essay about in high school. An essay you only got a C on, mind you. There was a very strong part of you that was convinced that you had hallucinated the entire thing. A hallucination made a lot more sense than reality that was for sure.

You turned to your desk partner who sat beside you playing on their phone, “Hey, Alex.” They held one finger up for a second before letting their brown eyes drift up to meet yours with a neutral look. You continued, “If you could choose what your first words are to your soulmate, what would you say?”

Alex paused, thinking, then nodded, “Please fuck me.”

“Not…” You scrunched your nose, “Not exactly what I was looking for, but thank you.”

“It’s not like you get to choose anyways.” Alex shrugged.

The decision was made and you were talking before you even realized what was happening, “Alex, I need to tell you something.” They looked at you again, but this time with confusion. It had been two weeks since you ran into your soulmate, two weeks at this job, and Alex had easily become your closest friend here. Plus, your best friend back home hadn’t been very helpful with this. They mostly just screamed. “I met my soulmate.”

“You met your soulmate?”

“Yes.” You nodded. “They said their words, but then I didn’t say anything and they walked away and now… I don’t know what to do.”

Alex set their phone down, “Well, first thing first, you gotta find out who they are and track them down again.”

“Easy enough.” You tapped your fingers against your chin, “It’s, uh, Captain America.”

Alex blinked once, twice, three times and then tilted their head, “Captain America? As in the hero? As in Steve fucking Rogers?”

“That’s the one.”

The two of you stared at one another for a minute before Alex shrugged, “Yeah, you should definitely say, ‘Please fuck me’.”

You pointed at them, “Not gonna say that. Nope.”

“I don’t know what to tell you then.” Alex replied and picked their phone back up again. That had been about as helpful as the phone call you made to your friend back home. You moaned in defeat and slapped the notebook to your face. This was literally impossible. Only you would be in the situation where you knew who your soulmate is, they were an amazing human being, but you were too dumb to reply to them.

Someone came to the front desk and Alex tossed their phone aside to help them. You sunk in your seat and let your mind drift off. Did you even want to see him again? Of course, you did. He was Steve Rogers. Knowing him as America’s hero made you crush on him, and you were sure that once you personally got to know him you’d be a goner. Steve was an all-star, a top tier level soulmate, and you were…what? An intern making minimum wage who only just now got health insurance? You lived in a shoebox apartment that smelled of mold and smoke. You didn’t even own a bed yet. You were literally sleeping on an air mattress. An air mattress.

When Steve Rogers laid down to go to bed at night there was no way in hell the soulmate he imagined meeting one day was you. He was a hero, a legend, and you were literally the definition of average. If your life was a movie, you weren’t sure if you could even name yourself as the main character. You felt like a background character of your own life.

You opened your desk drawer and tossed the notepad into it.

Maybe not being able to think of anything to say was a sign.

Steve stood in line at the Stark Industries cafeteria feeling a little bit like an idiot. If Tony knew that he was down here buying food instead of using the state-of-the-art kitchen built upstairs for the Avengers specifically? God, he’d never hear the end of it. Especially if the genius found out that the only reason Steve was down here buying a water bottle and apple was because he was trying to see a girl.

It wasn’t just any girl though. It was probably the most beautiful dame he’s seen in his entire life, but Tony and the others would tease him all the same. He couldn’t explain it. Steve literally could not sit down and list reasons why this absolute stranger was stuck on his mind, but the feelings were there all the same.

The first time Steve saw her had been a month ago down in the lobby. He had been in a rush to leave the tower so he could meet Clint at some sketchy food stall that the archer claimed was worth weathering a hurricane sized storm for (it hadn’t been), and he just so happened to stop beside her while fighting his umbrella.

In fact, he hadn’t even noticed her standing there until he heard the soft intake of a gasp. Steve wasn’t sure if she knew she had reacted that way, but when he turned to meet her gaze he didn’t feel like Captain America suddenly. Instead, he felt like that scrawny, punk kid from Brooklyn that used to hide behind Bucky anytime a pretty dame started to talk.

The artist in him wanted to describe her as glowing. Something about her, the look in her surprised eyes, just made him feel like he was basking in warmth. Steve’s brain screamed at him to say something, literally anything, in hopes to make her acquaintance. When he opened his mouth though, all that had fallen out was a quip about the weather. Her face features had frozen in shock, and Steve took that as his cue to flee.

Steve hadn’t shared this interaction with anyone upstairs though because, again, he wasn’t in the mood to be mocked for the remainder of this century.

His thoughts were interrupted when he caught sight of the woman again. She was across the room walking in with a group of other SI interns. Steve could tell that’s what they were by the badges they wore around their necks. One of the interns said something and the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about laughed. A bright, grin filling her face.

Steve felt like a weirdo staring at her from across the room. That was actually another reason why he hadn’t told anyone about her because he knew his tactic of watching her from a distance and hoping she noticed him was creepy as hell. Bucky definitely would’ve beat his ass for it. For a quick second, he let his chest ache at the thought of his friend. Bucky would know just what to say in this situation. What he wouldn’t give to have his friend behind his shoulder coaching him on talking to a dame again. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention to those tips in the past.

One tip he did remember definitely applied here. Bucky would tell him to stop walking through the cafeteria everyday hoping she’d notice and speak to him, and instead make a damn move himself. He could do that. He could definitely do that. Steve had fought aliens from space a year ago. Talking to a girl couldn’t be harder than that.

And yet…

A thousand times he had worked up the courage to say something only to bail out at the last moment. It wasn’t just the fear of making himself look like an idiot either. He was Captain America. The quote, unquote Star-Spangled man with a plan. Anyone he brought into his life would be in danger, and what kind of stable minded person would want the baggage that came with him? Steve was a man, stuck out of his time, who worked non-stop and still had nightmares every other night of dropping his best friend out of a train. To say he was a mess was just a polite understatement.

It was one of the many reasons why he had decided any sort of courting should be behind him. He left those hopes and dreams in the 40’s along with his soulmate. Like nearly everyone else on the planet, Steve had words etched on his skin and one of his worst regrets was that his mission to save the world had left his soulmate alone. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but he was kind of glad he never met them back then. That alone made this so much easier to swallow.

“Captain?” Steve glanced over his shoulder to see an unfamiliar face looking up at him with a hopeful smile. The middle-aged woman held out her phone, “Can I, maybe, get a picture with you? My son is such a fan.”

Steve nodded once, “Of course.”

His fame was still something he’d never get used to, it was probably the worst part of his job, but Steve couldn’t find it in his heart to ever say no. He bent down a little to get into the frame as the much shorter woman, and after she snapped the picture, she thanked him again earnestly. Steve gave her a small wave and hurried away from the spot before others came to ask the same thing.

He glanced across the room, hoping to see the stranger one more time, and when his eyes found her, he realized she was already looking at him.

There was an unreadable look in her eyes, and Steve was stuck. After a moment, her lips curled up into a soft smile and it was pathetic how his heart seemed to stutter in his chest at the small action from someone he technically didn’t even know. It settled the mental argument he had been warring over though. Steve took in a steadying breath and took a step in her direction, but that was the exact moment the entire room shook as the back wall exploded out in a debris, fire, and dust.

[previous chapter] [next chapter]

[stardustpr1ncess]

So over the course of binging Camp Cretaceous over the weekend to the point of exhaustion, I can confidently say I love it. Kinda glad I waited this long to watch it since idk how I'd feel having to wait for Chaos Theory.

Did I hate nearly every main character at one point or another? Yes, undoubtedly so, stop saving every dinosaur you find when it means your friends will be in danger DARIUS YOU FUCK. Did season 4 start Kenji x Brooklynn (she's in middle school while he has FACIAL HAIR 🤮) and have the main protagonist be literally an incel with robot dogs? Yes, sadly.

HOWEVER, seasons 1 2 and 3 were phenomenal character studies on how 6 kids would handle being stranded on dinosaur Disney World. Not only how they would survive such a tragedy, but how they would grow and come to terms with complex emotions about themselves and their new found family.

Some examples being the phenomenal arc that Ben goes through when he becomes isolated from the entire group, and slowly realizes he's in a sink or swim situation in which being the same "Scared Ben" (his words) will get him killed. He realizes this when he's surrounded by Compies alone with no one he can rely upon, so he finds the strength within himself (that dog in him if you will) to intimate them into running away. Furthermore he continues to survive alone for weeks, growing so confident as to fight Toro (the carnotaurus) in order to get to main street, knowing he's severely outmatched, but that it's his only chance of rescue.

My personal favorite example (yes... sadly this happens in season 4 😭) involves Yasmina, the best character. Over the course of their 6 months on Isla Nublar, they have been abandoned by the people put in charge of their care, stranded on a jungle island filled with dinosaurs, along with 3 hybrid dinosaurs bred to be perfect killers, and had to fight to survive essentially everyday. So, upon leaving the island and having a chance to be rescued, only to find there's just more dinosaurs on island 2 electric boogaloo, something inside Yaz snaps. They actually commit to giving this 15 year old PTSD from dinosaurs! Which is the most sane and likely consequence of this situation. She constantly has nightmares about dinosaurs, and has panic attacks at the sight or sound of them, causing the group to actually have to factor that into plans and not have her do insane stuff like sprint from Tyrannosaurus Rex's.

Season 5 was also good and Daniel Kon was an enjoyable and well built up villain, but at that point all the kids are so feral from being stranded on 2 dinosaur islands that it's nowhere near as grounded as the first 3 seasons. Therefore I can't really bring myself to say things like "stop saving the dinosaurs Darius you are fucking stupid", because at that point, they're so lost in the sauce of being the most dedicated environmental activists ever, that they might as well finish the job.

OH! Did I mention that Bumpy is in fact a character in this show? Or that she's also the cutest ever? Or that they're making a Lego set of her that I WITHOUT A DOUBT will be purchasing? That's a very important part of the essay can't be leaving Bumpy out like that.

That's a decent amount of what I wanted to say about Camp Cretaceous, there may be more essays to come since this is a 5 season show and Chaos Theory just released. Thank you for reading.