#was just going through the dialogue as usual and noticed how in awe of this man they were

[proffbon]

Find yourself someone who will look at you the same way the boys look at Gale.

[lonely-cowboy]

beautifully human

pairing: connor (rk800) x f!reader

summary: after noticing the way connor looks at other androids, you worry that you may never have a chance with him. but what you don't know is that he has only ever had eyes for you.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: insecure reader, mentions of death (they literally talk about dying in an elevator) (spoiler alert: it doesn't happen), probably ooc connor, west coast dialect went a little too hard in the dialogue, some very specific physical descriptions that i also tried to keep as general as possible? you'll see what i mean ig

author's note: glad to report that this account is lowkey helping me get over my writer's block, so that's amazing for me. anyway. as usual, feel free to leave any critiques on how i can improve my writing, characterization, etc.! :)

masterlist ⟡ requests

You hated that your investigation brought you to the Eden Club. You didn’t necessarily hate the Eden Club or its workers, but you hated that you had to go with Connor and Hank. It would’ve been embarrassing enough to go with just Hank, but adding Connor to the mix made you want to collapse to the ground and never move again. But you were a professional, so if you had to go with Connor and Hank then you could suck it up for a night. Hopefully.

The moment you stepped inside the club, you were filled with unease. Your stomach churned and your shoulders scrunched up high as if you were trying to hide from the world. To handle your discomfort, you turned cold and distant, observing everything and everyone with an icy glare. You trailed behind Hank and Connor as you scanned your surroundings, doing your very best to look at everything but Connor.

You couldn’t look at Connor in this place without being filled with a displaced sense of anger. You couldn’t help but wonder if he looked at these androids with infatuation or desire. Did he find them beautiful? Did he want them in the same way you wanted him? You knew they were stupid thoughts, but you couldn’t control them. Somehow, Connor had weaseled his way into your heart and refused to leave no matter how hard you tried.

Distracted by your foggy mind, you almost bumped right into Connor when he stopped to admire a Traci, his soft gaze exploring her body through the glass barrier. You watched as the Traci smiled gently at him, her hand reaching forward to touch the glass like she was trying to caress his cheek. Connor didn’t move to reciprocate her action, but he still appeared to be in awe. It only made your scowl deepen.

You hated that you were consumed by jealousy because you knew– deep down– that it stemmed from insecurity. This Traci was made to be beautiful. She was made to be desired and worshipped. In her limited clothing, there wasn’t much left to the imagination. Her body was the epitome of perfect with its soft curves and smooth skin. She was a perfect balance of sweet and charismatic. She was everything that you assumed a man wanted, and androids were no exception. From the way Connor looked at her, you were sure she was everything he wanted too. 

You sighed in frustration before marching away as Hank called to Connor. You refused to let your jealousy– or anything you felt for Connor– get in the way of your investigation. But no matter how hard you tried, your mind was still drawn to him.

Maybe you had been too hopeful, but you really had thought that maybe– just maybe– Connor had felt something for you. Apparently, you were just far more delusional than you thought.

While Hank discussed the crime scene with Officer Miller, you stood to the side looking uncharacteristically cold. With your arms folded over your chest and a hard, almost bored look in your eye, it was clear that you weren’t particularly interested in talking to anyone. You assumed that would be obvious to everyone, androids included. And it seemed that it had been obvious, but that certainly didn’t stop Connor.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Connor watching you with a confused glint. His LED flashed yellow as he analyzed your body language, working to only make your blood boil. You knew there was no reason to be angry with him, so why did your anger persist? Why did you feel so unreasonably jealous? He was just a man, after all, nothing more.

Connor approached you with his hands clasped behind his back, standing beside you and following your cold gaze. He was silent for a moment, pleased to simply be in your presence even when you were acting so stony.

“You’re unusually quiet, Detective,” Connor observed. “This is not within your typical behavioral patterns. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” you answered dismissively. “Don’t you have a body to analyze?”

Connor paused again, pursing his lips in a way that was so oddly human. In a gentle tone, he said, “Well… yes. But that’s usually something we do together.”

“Why?” you hissed, feeling suddenly riled now that Connor was talking to you. Why was he giving you this attention? Why was he acting like he cared about you? You knew he didn’t. At least, your clouded mind let you think he didn’t. “It’s not like you need my help. You can do everything on your own, I’m useless to you.”

Connor turned his body towards you fully, a deep crease settling between his brows. His LED continued to circle yellow as he studied you once again. That made you roll your eyes which seemed to be enough of a hint for Connor. With his LED still glowing yellow, he turned away without another word, allowing you to resume your wallowing in misery. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were still fuming as Hank drove you home. With Connor in the front seat, you were stuck in the back, glaring daggers into his back. How had such a clueless android managed to lure you in and make you jealous purely because he wasn’t interested in you?

As Connor jabbered on about something or other, you stared out the car window absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but imagine the Traci on the other side of the window, reaching out and smiling that perfect smile that made you never want to smile again.

You glanced at Connor as he fell silent. He turned to look out the window, making you cringe at the idea that he truly was thinking of the Traci. But you failed to notice his eyes transfixed on you through the side mirror, his gaze gentle and curious as he admired your stubborn look. He stared at you dreamily the rest of the car ride. 

When you finally reached your apartment building, Hank had barely stopped the car before you were clambering out and slamming the door behind you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you grumbled, having enough decency to give Hank a small wave. 

As you trudged towards your apartment building, you froze at the sound of another car door opening and closing. You cursed under your breath, hesitant to turn for fear of whom you might find. As you glanced over your shoulder, you cursed again as your fear came true. Connor approached you with long strides, leaving behind a very confused-looking Hank.

“I’ll walk you to your apartment,” Connor offered innocently. 

You stared at him blankly and muttered, “Connor, my building is right here. I just need to go up a few floors. I know how to use an elevator, I’ll manage just fine on my own.”

You turned and continued towards your building, not surprised when you heard Connor follow.

“The chances of an elevator-related death are one in 10.5 million,” Connor continued in that matter-of-fact tone that you usually found so endearing. 

When Connor didn’t elaborate, you stopped and turned to him again with a raised brow. You waited for more, but it still didn’t come. Connor just stared at you pleasantly, drinking in your charmingly confused face.

“Okay…,” you said. “So like I said, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But the chance of it happening is still possible, so it’s best if I escort you,” Connor continued. His grin widened as you rolled your eyes in acceptance. As an afterthought, he added, “Just in case.” 

In silence, the two of you made your way up the elevator (where you did not, in fact, die) and to your apartment. You stood outside the door and turned to Connor, ready to send him away in the hopes that if you couldn’t see him then you wouldn’t be overwhelmed by images of him and that Traci. But you knew that wasn’t the case because even when he was long gone you would still think about how you couldn’t be enough for him. You weren’t pretty enough for such an angelic being like him, not when other beautifully crafted androids existed.

“May I come in?” Connor inquired before you could even open your mouth.

No.

You wanted to say no so desperately. You wanted him to leave. You wanted to bury yourself under your bed sheets and never see him again.

But he was still your friend, and you were still a decent enough person. It would be rude to reject him.

“Sure,” you replied softly, opening the door to allow the two of you in.

The moment you closed the door, Connor was already asking questions that you were not at all prepared for.

“You were upset today,” he noted. “Do you want to talk about how you feel?”

“I… what?” you stammered. “Since when are you a therapist android?”

“I’m not a therapist android, but as your companion, I care about your well-being,” Connor answered far too casually for your liking.

Companion? Well-being?

“Yeah, I doubt that,” you mumbled without thinking.

You were stupid to think Connor wouldn’t have heard you. With his sensitive hearing, he heard you loud and clear. Your comment made him tilt his head curiously and narrow his eyes.

“Why would I not care about you?” he asked, the genuine confusion in his voice making your resolve melt. 

“That’s not… it’s just…,” you blabbered, throwing your hands up in exasperation as you struggled to find the right words. “I wouldn’t expect you to care about me the same way–”

You stopped abruptly, eyes wide as your mind finally caught up to your yapping mouth. You could not finish that sentence.

Connor’s eyes narrowed further at your sudden pause. He took a cautious step forward, then another. You knew that he had already noticed the way your heartbeat accelerated, your breath suddenly caught in your throat. “The same way… what?” he repeated, urging you to finish your sentence.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid,” you dismissed. 

Connor murmured your name as if he were scolding a child, raising a brow as a sign of encouragement to finish.

“Well… I wouldn’t expect you to care about me… the same way… the same way I care about you,” you said, the last part coming out far too hurried. 

Maybe if you had just finished your sentence the first time you wouldn’t be in this situation. That was a perfectly normal thing to say to a friend, wasn’t it? Absolutely. Absolutely… But the way you had paused only made you look more suspicious. You knew Connor was smart enough to understand the suggestion of romantic feelings.

“How is it you feel about me?” Connor questioned.

“It doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t feel the same anyway,” you muttered, pushing past him to be anywhere that wasn’t near him.

Before you could get too far, Connor’s iron grip wrapped around your wrist and held you in place. You looked at him with offense, but he knew you meant nothing by it.

“It does matter, Detective,” he whispered lowly. “It matters to me.”

There was no going back now. Connor already got the hint that you cared for him more than you probably should. You might as well say it outright. That was better than being embarrassed and pretending nothing happened. Right?

“I like you, Connor,” you admitted, the words sounding childish in your mouth. “God, this is so embarrassing…”

Connor was silent for a long moment, making you wonder if he actually had figured it out. If he hadn’t… God, you would be mortified. Did he really not know, and you just willingly outed yourself to him?

You risked a peek at Connor to find him already looking at you with a small smile. His hand was still holding your wrist tightly, his skin comfortingly warm against your burning skin. The glint in his eyes made your brows furrow as heat rose to your cheeks.

“Why would you think I don’t care about you?” Connor asked, the quirk of his lips telling you that he found all of this somewhat amusing.

“I mean… yeah, I would think that you care about me. On some level. I’d assume…,” you prattled. “But as a friend, obviously. Connor, I’m not sure you understand what I mean when I say I like–”

“I understand perfectly well, Detective,” Connor interrupted. “So I’ll pose the question once again: why would you think I don’t care about you?”

The confusion was clear on your face. Tilting your head to the side, you turned your body to face Connor slightly, giving him the opportunity to lightly pull your wrist until you were completely facing him. Even when he had you standing where he wanted, he still didn’t let go of your wrist, though he loosened his grasp and held you lightly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your inner wrist soothingly. Your knees felt weak, and you were sure you were going to collapse against him at any second. His touch was so loving that you almost believed he could feel the same way.

You nearly forgot Connor had asked you a question until he gave your arm a light squeeze that snapped you back to attention. He arched both eyebrows, watching you with that humorous glint. 

“I just… Well…,” you faltered. You inhaled sharply, gathering your thoughts before you continued. “I just can’t understand how or why someone like you would be interested in someone like me when there are so many better options. Yeah, I guess… I guess that’s it. I don’t know…”

“Better options?” Connor repeated. The obvious confusion in his voice warmed your heart. It was as if he had never even considered that there could be better options.

“Well, yeah,” you shrugged. “I’m no android, Connor. I’m not… I’m not perfect. I’m not beautiful or stunning or gorgeous. I’m not like that girl you were looking at.”

There was another long pause as Connor struggled to process your words. His LED spiraled yellow as he questioned, “What girl?”

“The Traci,” you explained in exasperation, “at the Eden Club. It looked like you were practically in love with her, and I don’t blame you. She’s the definition of perfect. Not a single flaw in sight.”

“You think you’re flawed?” Connor asked immediately. That was his biggest takeaway?

“Yes, obviously, Connor! I am! And I just find it very hard to believe that someone as beautiful as you could be attracted to someone as… average as me,” you snapped, sounding harsher than you intended.

Connor released your wrist, and for a moment you worried that you scared him off. But then his warm hands were holding your cheeks, his thumbs now slowly running along your cheekbones. He stepped forward until his body was pressed against yours, leaning down until his forehead was nearly touching yours. His eyes latched onto yours, and for a moment, he just held your gaze in silence. He was reveling in the sight of you, so close to him that he could feel your sweet breath against his lips.

“It seems you don’t realize how beautiful you are,” he murmured. “Perhaps I’ll have to explain it to you.”

Connor paused again, searching your eyes for any effort to argue. But you were still so stunned by his sudden proximity that you had nothing to give. When he heard no contradiction, Connor smiled and continued on.

“Maybe you don’t think you’re perfect,” he started, “but I do. Everything you see as a flaw, I see as beautiful. It makes you you. It makes you so… human. And maybe you can’t understand because of it, but there’s something so pure about being human. Just being human makes you beautiful. But you… you’re different. You’re above them all.”

There was a strangely desperate look in Connor’s eyes like he was pleading with you to understand. Exhaling slowly, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against your own. He closed his eyes, his LED shifting from yellow to blue and back again as he tried to sift through the swarm of emotions.

“I don’t know why it’s you, but it is,” he whispered, his voice nearly too quiet for you to hear. “I just can’t help but notice everything about you. I love the wrinkles on your forehead when you’re confused to the point of frustration. I love when only one side of your hair is brushed because you’re too lazy to brush the other. I love when your lip bleeds because you’re biting it while you’re thinking and you don’t even notice. I love…”

Connor stopped and pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on your cheeks. His LED circled red once, the worry on his face far too obvious to your keen eyes. When you didn’t say anything, Connor tried to pull away, but you didn’t let him.

Your hands quickly moved to rest over top his, holding him in place. You looked up at him with eyes full of admiration and wonder as if an angel had come and graced the earth. Maybe that’s what he was, an angel. You would believe it. With that pretty face and those sweet words, you could easily be fooled.

As you eyed Connor’s face, the corners of your lips quirked into a smile. Maybe you could be enough for him. He seemed to think so. It was that thought alone that drove you to lean forward and press the faintest of kisses to Connor’s lips. It was barely a peck, and as you pulled away, Connor leaned forward to chase after your warmth. The gesture made you laugh as you whispered against his lips.

“I love how human you are.” 

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[leighsartworks216]

How the LADS men would react to some of my favorite games

All x Reader (separately, and it's not the main focus)

Picking out games for them all was kinda difficult, bc I have so many favorites and I wasn't sure what they'd react to or how they'd react. But I'm pretty happy with these

Based on this post

Warnings: crackfic (kinda?), one horror game, slight angst with Zayne, swearing

Word Count: 1,123 (oh hell yeah)

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form (Psst fill this out to be tagged in future fics! - Updated to include Xavier)

Xavier:

I think Xavier would love The Outer Worlds

I mean,, it’s a game that takes place entirely in another solar system where you crash land in an escape pod on a strange planet and gotta figure out how people here work without letting them know you’re “not from here”

They literally call the player “The Stranger”

I think he’d love looking up at the sky in game

Every one of the sky boxes is gorgeous but Emerald Vale especially

I think he’d find a safe area in game and put it on just to stare up at the sky (and fall asleep too)

Tries to choose the best outcome for every situation

Which means fucking over the government and not feeling an ounce of guilt for it

But fucking over the underdogs even for a minute feels awful

Has to ask you which choice is better or how to get the best outcome

Scarily good at fighting with melee weapons

Esp considering the heavy reliance on guns

Accidentally min-maxes the characters

He’d also love Coffee Talk

The music is so calming he usually ends up falling asleep to it

Spends a lot of time and consideration into every drink

Draws a little bunny in the lattes every single time

Probably accidentally clocks the plot twist of the game on the very first run

Tries making you the drinks irl and uhhhh he shouldn’t

-

Zayne:

Of the games I’ve played, I think The Silent Age would be very interesting for him

Helps solve the puzzles (even if you’ve played it before)

Says he finds the art style to be “charming”

Sits through every piece of dialogue no matter how long and doesn’t go forward until he comprehends it

Gets so concerned when Joe starts coughing

Generally doesn’t like seeing the bodies

It makes him unsettled and has him thinking about those he’s lost to such gruesome deaths

The twist at the end absolutely fascinates him so much

And the SECOND twist pulls him out of it

Was lowkey hoping it would be something more… fantastical

But does have to admit that horror in the now-mundane is interesting too

I also would LOVE to watch him play Ace Attorney

Could you IMAGINE???

“This is illegal.” “I know, but so is murder.” “They don’t cancel out, you know.”

“If somebody on the witness stand is overreacting that much to one small detail, I think the judge should be a little more concerned about it.”

He’d kinda love Miles Edgeworth ngl

Understands exactly what he means with the entire “unnecessary feelings” business

Wishes the autopsy reports were more in depth, for his own amusement

Accidentally says “objection” when you’re trying to lie to him about not taking care of yourself

Can’t live it down for the next week, at LEAST

-

Sylus:

Little Nightmares, straight up

He finds the concept absolutely fascinating

Doesn’t play, but enjoys watching you play

“Careful, kitten. His long arms almost grabbed you.” “YES, THANK YOU, I NOTICED.”

Loves to see you so panicked and freaked out

Laughs if something small makes you jump out of your skin

But he does try to comfort you after chase sequences when it feels like you’re having a heart attack

Pulls you into his lap and promises to protect you

Will not complain if you choose to stay there for the rest of the game

Helps you solve puzzles if you’re struggling with them for too long

But he always asks to know if you want the answer

He doesn’t need you pouting and upset just because you couldn’t figure out how to do something relatively simple

Warns the twins not to scare you for a while

For their own safety tbh

You have a gun and you WILL use it

He’d also like watching you play Animal Crossing

You can and will bully him into joining

Will catch the scary or difficult bugs for you if you’re struggling

Doesn’t need to look up any guides to find the real artworks

The very second he can get his hands on the cat cap, it’s going to you

Might ask what color you want, but he’s more likely to pick it for you so its a surprise

Wraps it up too

“Sweetie, I got you a gift.” “Awe, really?.... Really, Sylus?” “Put it on, kitten.”

Luke and Kieran have their own town

It’s extremely flushed out and scary how impressive it is

Runs turnips with them so you have nearly a billion Bells to spend on anything you want

He lets you design his house, even if you make it silly

-

Rafayel:

Tell me why my first thought was Pokemon Art Academy

He would love it tho

Sitting on the couch together, watching over your shoulder as you follow the tutorials to draw the Pokemon

They turn out like shit but he claims to love them

Passing it over to him is a bad idea, but he won’t stop whining until you do

Creates an entire masterpiece

That creature is in a damn candid shot, shaded and everything

You should have known it was a terrible idea to show him the game

When he doesn’t feel like painting or just needs a break for his mind, he’ll play it

Honestly I see him at one of his own exhibitions, standing in the corner and playing it

Thomas complains to you about it all the time

Rafayel texts you about how much the Pokemon miss you and want you to come over :’(((

Beats the game

Somehow

Not just the lessons either, literally every single drawing they give you to do, he does it

When you look at the gallery, you can see when you stopped playing and when he took over

He’d also love Little Inferno

Sings the jingle all the time until you’re threatening him to shut up

Doesn’t honestly understand the appeal at first

He can literally make and control fire, why can’t you just give him some stuff to burn and he’ll do it for you

But he slowly gets the appeal

Especially when the batteries explode

Hates the pooping cat plushie with a passion

“If that thing ever shows up in a claw machine, we are NOT getting it.”

He either fully completes the game, combos and all, or he gets to the second catalog and gets bored, no in between

Will happily watch you play tho

Loves the way you focus on trying to decipher the clues for the combos

No shame, WILL be looking up the combinations and WILL spoil them for you just to bug you

May plan a date around throwing shit into a fireplace and watching it burn in real life

There’s a fire extinguisher nearby, just in case

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44

[xoxochb]

— mind over matter ꣑ৎ‧₊˚.

warnings: heart shattering angst with tooth rotting fluff/comfort in redemption, readers coffee is the same as how I take mine but you can imagine it however you’d like it to be, I just did it for sake of wording pairing: jason grace x fem! reader a/n: I had the shittiest day so I projected it on here to comfort myself but I hope anyone else dealing with awful days will enjoy this as much as I did <3

your day was going utterly awful. it started out fine, you woke up early and got ready for the day like usual, however it’s when you joined society when your day went to shit. it started when some of the popular aphrodite girls began making fun of you for no specific reason, then you’re only friends at camp left you out at lunch and you had to sit by yourself— totally embarrassing! and after that you slipped and fell, skinning both your knees. you ended up in the infirmary as will solace patched you up and scolded you for not watching your surroundings as you walked. you left quickly after that before the son of apollo was able to see your tear-veiled eyes. unfortunately that didn’t change a thing because a group of campers walked by as you chocked back a sob

but perhaps you were just being too over dramatic. there was surely someone out there having a day worse than you— but with your sensitivity you can’t help but feel like shit. finally, after this you found yourself in the kitchen fixing yourself a cup of coffee (it was needed after the hell of a day you had). almost happily, you take the pot and place it onto the counter as you now attempt to grab a mug from the cabinet… but you hear a slight noise from somewhere within the room, and in the midsts of your distraction you fail to realize the falling cup, only doing so as it smashes on the floor. you yelp and back away as to prevent yourself from getting cut by any class. as if on queue, like in a superman kind of way, your boyfriend worriedly enters the kitchen, taking notice of the broken mug shattered on the floor and additionally your scared self

without saying a word, noticing your vulnerability, jason walks over to your spot against the counter and wraps you tightly in his arms, running one comforting hand up and down your back while another runs gently through your hair. you don’t try, now, to hold back your tears, you allow yourself to cry into his chest, taking fistfuls of his shirt into your hands. shakily, you try to say something but a knot in your throat prevents anything from leaving your lips at the moment. but jason doesn’t seem to mind your lack of dialogue, lightly holding you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until your weeping diminishes into only shaky breaths and sticky, wet, flushed pink cheeks

“do you want to talk about it?” asks jason in his forever gentle tone of voice. you don’t know in all honesty, truly only a shitty day

“my day- it’s… it was just- it was awful” you feel your eyes brimming with tears again, but this time, jason is ear to wipe them away with the pads of his thumbs before they fall

you continue now, “everything went wrong. and I wanted- I wanted coffee but I heard- a noise and the cup fell and everything is jut wrong!” your crying similarly continues

jason frowns over your unhappy mood. “hey, it’s okay. we all have bad days sometimes. how about I fix you a new cup of coffee and we go back to my cabin and lay down for a while? does that sound good?”

“I-” you hesitate “I have to clean up. the glass, it’s-”

“don’t worry about that, I’ll clean it up for you, okay? just stay here”

you nod but ultimately pout even more when his warmth leaves you. you watch as he begins picking up the small shards, then throws them into the trash to assure once they are collected nobody else will face the hurtful objects. once he finishes he takes a new mug from the cabinet— without dropping it— and pours the warm liquid into the cup

“milk and three sugars?”

“yes” you murmur. but internally your stomach does backflips at the knowledge that he has your coffee order memorized. after he fixes it up he walks back over to where you stand with the cup in his palms

“are you okay?”

“I… don’t know” you fiddle with your fingers nervously. jason puts the mug down on the counter behind you and takes your hands into his

“that’s okay. I’ll be here for you, the whole time, whenever you need me”

“will you?”

“I will”

and that’s less of a statement and more of a sacred oath, one he vows to keep for eternity

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x54 - A New World / The Fate of Two Worlds

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The true horror disrupting the Digital World was revealed. An eldritch thing of madness, beyond comprehension. Well, initial comprehension. The kids were having a hard time, so Apocalymon put them in the time-out corner until they could get their heads on straight.

Now they're back and ready to do this. This time's for real.

This episode's off to a bit of a different start. Instead of the typical recap followed by title card, we open straight into a fast-forward of the evolution sequences from the end of the previous. Along with Show Me Your Brave Heart kicking us off right from the get-go.

From there, Taichi and the others reconstitute themselves and we pick right up.

Apocalymon: What!? Taichi: WE WON'T LET YOU HAVE YOUR WAY!!! Apocalymon: That's impossible! You can't evolve without your Crests! Yamato: Don't underestimate the Chosen Children! Taichi: You got that right! Come on! Let's go, team! Team: YEAH!!!

Taichi raises his fist, and the other seven raise their fists in unison. The time for the final battle has come.

An interesting note is that Apocalymon sincerely believed the kids needed their Crests to evolve their Digimon. They did not understand the lore behind how the Crests work. Which sort of implies that the Original Five did not screw up as hard as our team did. XD

In the dub:

Izzy: We're back! Apocalymon: What!? Tai: You're dealing with the new and improved DigiDestined! Apocalymon: That's impossible! How did you Digivolve without your Crests!? Matt: Nothing's impossible. At least not when you've got your friends helping you! Tai: You said it, Matt! Now! Time to fight! Team: YEAH!!!

Minor differences with Matt's line but nothing noteworthy.

From here, it's go time. The Children are done discussing Apocalymon's background lore. They're ready to kill this thing. The Chosen Children ride their Partner Digimon into battle.

Which results in some... unintended hilarity.

Most of them fly through the void, but for some reason MetalGarurumon decides to run despite being flight-capable. It's not clear what his heavy tromping footsteps are running on, nor how he is casting a shadow on it, but there he is.

WarGreymon, AtlurKabuterimon, Lilimon, and the angel pair all fly.

Zudomon offers no indication of how he is moving. He remains entirely stationary and rockets forward through the void, squatting his way through space.

Meanwhile, for their part, Apocalymon remains motionless and lets the children come at them. The only movement comes from their cape flapping in the wind. ...kinda drafty in the void, I guess.

The dub adds no dialogue here and lets the silence do all the talking. The only difference is that, as usual, they didn't notice the sound effects so MetalGarurumon's footsteps and Apocalymon's flapping cape make no noise. No real loss there. Those things are confusing anyway.

Once the children get close enough, Apocalymon attacks.

Apocalymon: DIE!!!

Apocalymon thrusts one of their DNA chain claws forward to attack, but before they can do anything, Zudomon blows it off with Hammer Spark.

Jou: We'll handle the tentacles! Mimi: Let's join in, Lilimon! Lilimon: Sure!

Mimi hasn't quite realized the logistics of how their handholding flight is going to work in combat, but Lilimon has. Without warning, she grabs Mimi's wrist with both hands and flings her past the tentacle, to free up her arms for Flower Cannon.

Mimi: Huh, what are--UAAAAAGH!!!

She catches Mimi after she's destroyed the tentacle, but her Partner Child is not impressed.

Mimi: (whining) AWWW YOU'RE AWFUL!!! Lilimon: (smugly) Well, I am your Digimon, Mimi. Mimi: (grumbling) And just what is that supposed to mean?

And so this adventure concludes the way it began: In ways that are extremely upsetting for Mimi-chan. XD

Obviously, Apocalymon does not tell the children to die in the dub. In fact, he mutters to himself rather than addressing them.

Apocalymon: They're doomed.

This is the dub's segue to the first commercial break. Upon return, he calls an attack.

Apocalymon: So you wanna fight!? DEATH CLAW!!!

He can't tell them to die but he can still use the name Death Claw. Weird.

This creates some ambiguity for the previous episode's renaming of Touch of Evil to its original name Death Claw. Zudomon destroys his claw before it can do anything so... Are they indicating he was going to conjure Devimon to use Death Claw like he did last episode?

Or did the dub team forget about Touch of Evil, and think that "Death Claw" is a unique Apocalymon signature move, signifying attacking with his DNA chain claws?

Or is it like Clown Trick and Trump Sword where they call the one name for a bunch of different attacks, many of which have nothing to do with the original move?

IDK.

(Zudomon destroys the claw with Vulcan's Hammer) Joe: Alright! Your hammer nailed it! Mimi: We can help out too, right, Lillymon? Lillymon: Hang on! Mimi: Hang on for wha--AHHHHHHHHH!!! (Lillymon throws Mimi and destroys a claw with Flower Cannon, then catches Mimi) Mimi: Next time, Lillymon, can you use someone else as a boomerang!? Lillymon: Sorry, but I wanted to make sure you came back to me.

The dub plays this as surprisingly heartwarming rather than funny. One whole D'awww! Very different, but valid.

While Mimi and Lilimon are having it out, Zudomon destroys another chain-claw.

Jou: The rest of you, use this opening to attack the main body! Taichi: Got it--AH!!!

Apocalymon's had enough of this shit. While Jou and Mimi's backs are turned to the enemy so they can address the group, Apocalymon capitalizes by sending a claw straight for them.

Sora: JOU-SENPAI, MIMI-CHAN, LOOK OUT!!!

Jou and Mimi whip around, but it's too late.

Jou & Mimi: AHHHHH!!!

HolyAngemon opens Heaven's Gate all of a sudden. Then Angewomon destroys the claw with Holy Arrow. It is not clear what, if anything, Heaven's Gate contributed to this.

Takeru: Hikari-chan and I will protect you! Hikari: Could you please destroy the other tentacles? Mimi: Thank you! Jou: You saved us!

(Hikari wrenches one of Apocalymon's goddamn limbs off and then turns around and is the most polite and adorable thing ever to be born. The duality of Yagami Hikari. XD)

In the dub:

Joe: Tai! Now's your chance to go for his body! Tai: Alright! Huh!? (Apocalymon attacks Joe and Mimi from behind) Sora: Joe! Mimi! Look out behind you! Joe & Mimi: HUH!?!? (MangaAngemon unhelpfully creates Gate of Destiny) (Angewomon destroys the claw) T.K.: Don't worry about it, guys! We're here to protect you! Kari: We'll go for the other claws too! Mimi: Thanks, Kari! Joe: We owe you one!

A bit different. Joe only tells Tai to attack the main body while Jou instructs the rest of the team to do it. Similarly, Mimi (arguably correctly) only thanks Kari.

Kari's line is totally different. The plan is that Jou and Mimi will attack the claws while Takeru and Hikari watch their backs. T.K. gets this right, but then Kari suggests that T.K. and Kari will be attacking claws side-by-side with Joe and Mimi instead.

As agreed, Taichi and Yamato charge Apocalymon.

Taichi: Alright, Yamato! Full speed ahead! Yamato: Yeah! Taichi: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!

WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon go straight down the center. In the process, we sort of get a glimpse of what MetalGarurumon's running on? A "floor" made out of waves of darkness seems to be emanating from Apocalymon. This raises further questions.

Apocalymon sends a claw their way to fend them off. However, an offscreen Flower Cannon obliterates it. Mimi and Jou are doing their jobs.

(Poor Mimi probably got tossed again.)

Sora and Koushiro join the charge on Garudamon and AtlurKabuterimon.

Sora: Koushiro-kun and I will assist Taichi and Yamato! Koushiro: Please, the two of you just focus on attacking the enemy! Yamato: Got it! Apocalymon: YOU LITTLE-- PLUG BOMB!!!

Furiously changing tactics, Apocalymon fires off Nanomon's signature Plug Bomb, machine-gunning the tiny explosives in every direction at once.

(I think that answers the question of whether Apocalymon has the moves of every Digimon or just the Big Bad Evil Guy Digimon.)

Garudamon: AtlurKabuterimon! Take Sora, please! AtlurKabuterimon: Right!

Garudamon has the same problem Lilimon has. Her Shadow Wing starts by engulfing her entire body in phoenix fire. Can't exactly do that with a rider. XD There was a critical flaw in this "Let's ride our Digimon into the fight" plan.

Garudamon deposits Sora on AtlurKabuterimon, then fires. Her phoenix-shaped projectile flies ahead of them, obliterating the Plug Bombs in their path. Once the path is clear, Sora returns to Garudamon's shoulder.

Sora: Thank you, Garudamon!

In the dub, Tai and Matt seem to be having fun with this.

Tai: Matt, this is better than any video game! Matt: I'll say! Apocalymon: DEATH CLAW!!! Lillymon: (offscreen) FLOWER CANNON!!! (Lillymon destroys the claw)

...okay, yes, I think we can confidently say that the dub does think Death Claw is an Apocalymon signature move.

Sora: Hey, why should you guys have all the fun? Save some for me and Izzy! Izzy: We'll distract Apocalymon while Matt and Tai concentrate on attacking. Matt: Watch our backs! Apocalymon: Let's end this. VIRUS GRENADES!!!

Cannot say with certainty whether they caught that "Virus Grenades" is supposed to be Nanomon's move or not. They never gave Plug Bomb a name way back when. So. Maybe they remember and are finally naming it or maybe they think this is an Apocalymon move too.

Garudamon: MegaKabuterimon, protect Sora! MegaKabuterimon: Got it. Garudamon: WING BLADE!!! (Garudamon destroys the bombs) Sora: Thanks, guys!

Most of this is pretty close to the original. The one point of contention is that Izzy volunteers to "distract" Apocalymon. That is. Not what they're doing. You don't distract the enemy by charging in right alongside the main attack force.

But we're used to Izzy being wrong about stuff. Matt gets it right when he tells them to "Watch our backs". Sora and Izzy are providing cover for Tai and Matt, just like T.K. and Kari are doing for Joe and Mimi.

As Taichi and Yamato close in, Apocalymon fires off one last shot.

Morphing one of their claws into Mugendramon and letting off Mugen Cannon.

AtlurKabuterimon: Now it's my turn! HORN BUSTER!!!

AtlurKabuterimon's there to provide covering fire and destroys it with Horn Buster.

Taichi: LET'S FINISH IT!!! Yamato: TAKE THIS!!!

Once the boys get into attack range, they unload. Cocytus Breath and Gaia Forge plunge together into Apocalymon, oblitering them. The main body of Apocalymon disintegrates into pixel dust, and it seems to be over. Most of their outer shell goes with them, leaving behind only the featureless dodecahedron that Apocalymon originally emerged as.

Apocalymon: HUAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Yamato: We did it! Jou: We disposed of the tentacles, too! Taichi: How do you like that!? Give up! Apocalymon: Hehe, you think you've won? Yamato: There's no point in acting tough! Apocalymon: Isn't there? We will perish. But we won't just perish. You smug little shits and this world will all be caught up in it too! Taichi: What!? Apocalymon: Just watch. Our ultimate special attack!

Oh, this is it! Remember, the rundown warned us of this. Apocalymon does have a signature move all their own: Darkness Zone, which reduces all things to nothingne--

Apocalymon: GRAND DEATH BIG BOMB!!!

...or that. I guess it could be that.

Apocalymon's dodecahedron collapses into a single point. This is followed by a sudden flash of light. Then an explosion, expanding outwards in every direction. An effect that looks remarkably and alarmingly like a supernova going off.

In the dub:

MegaKabuterimon: Now it's my turn! HORN BUSTER!!! (MegaKabuterimon destroys the final defense) Tai: ATTACK!!! Matt: NOW!!! (The boys destroy Apocalymon's main body) Matt: We did it! Joe: We destroyed all of his claws! Tai: Still think you're so tough!? Apocalymon: Ehehehe... Is that your best shot? Matt: You know you're beaten! Face it like a 'mon! Apocalymon: You think so, huh? Well, I may be beaten but I won't go down that easily. I'll take you and both worlds with me! Tai: What!? Apocalymon: You still haven't seen my ultimate attack: TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!!

An interesting note is that in the original, Apocalymon doesn't threaten the human world. He only says this will destroy 貴様 kisama, which is a rude way of saying "you" with the implicit meaning that the person you're speaking to thinks they're better than you, and この世界 kono sekai, which is "this world".

This is the second time Apocalymon has angrily dropped a 貴様 kisama into conversation. It's almost as if they're insecure about something. I wonder what.

So, Apocalymon only threatens to collapse the Digital World. However, it has long been established that the collapse of the Digital World would have catastrophic knock-on effects for the human world. There is, right at this moment, a tear in the fabric of reality in the sky of the human world above all places at once, where people are seeing this happen.

So even if Apocalymon doesn't directly threaten to destroy the human world, their actions will do that if allowed.

The dub cuts out the implied threat and instead makes Apocalymon fully aware of both worlds, and actively trying to destroy them both. This meshes with the previous episode, when they added dialogue of him threatening to "start [reducing all things to nothingness] with Earth".

Original Apocalymon wants to destroy the Digital World, which will consequently destroy the human world, while dub Apocalymon wants to destroy them both. No idea what his beef is with the humans. We've never successfully Digivolved either.

Well, not in Adventure continuity, anyway. I see you over there, Biomerge Digivolutions.

Anyway, where were we at? Oh, yeah. Being killed by a supernova.

As the supernova approaches, we flash from child to child, hearing their thoughts while their Crest symbols float over them.

Yamato: They self-destructed! Jou: Is this the end for us!? Mimi: IT CAN'T BE!!! Takeru: It's not the end! Koushiro: This can't be the end. Yamato: I won't let this be the end. Taichi: Like hell this is the end! Jou: NEVER!!! Sora: Because.... Hikari: We all have.... Team: TOMORROW WAITING FOR US!!!

As the children refuse to relent, their Digivices activate. Each taking a different point around the supernova, they form the eight points of a cube, made from the children's holy light. The cube suppresses and contains the supernova, until it detonates harmlessly in the void. The final trace of Apocalymon's wrath is gone.

In the dub:

Matt: He's gonna destroy everything! Joe: I should have made out my will! Mimi: I'm too good-looking to go! T.K.: I want my mommy! Izzy: There must be a solution! Matt: We won't give up! Tai: We're stronger than he is! Joe: We're a team! Sora: It's destiny! Kari: After all! Team: WE'RE THE DIGIDESTINED!!!

A bit different. Mostly lateral changes, but I don't like that they stopped T.K. from being the first one to retain hope and made it Izzy instead. Refusing to lay down and die in the face of the unwinnable is literally his Crest virtue but the dub's only ever seen "littlest kid" in him.

As the blast dissipates, the children unpack. They aren't quite sure what just happened there.

WarGreymon: What.... MetalGarurumon: ...was that? Takeru: What happened to the explosion? Koushiro: It must have been contained through the power of our Digivices. Taichi: So, does that mean we won? Yamato: Seems like. Jou: Then the destruction of the world.... Sora: It means we stopped it! Hikari: Yeah! Ogremon: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!

Ogremon runs on into the void, waving his club. He's followed by Andromon, who is carrying Elecmon.

Ogremon: You did it? HolyAngemon: Yeah, we did! Ogremon: You punks are really something else! Mimi: (pleased) Is that so? Andromon: Thank you very much. Koushiro: (embarrassed) Uh, there's no need to thank us!

Meanwhile, in the human world, those weird otherworldly Digimon that had been silently rampaging freeze up and disintegrate. The void vanishes from the sky, and the people of Earth look up at a bright beautiful sky.

Shin (Jou's Brother): You all did so well (ganbatte).

Now, at the very end of the final battle, the title card for "A New World" appears.

In the dub:

WarGreymon: What was that!? MetalGarurumon: I'm not sure! T.K.: What happened to the explosion!? Izzy: It was completely contained by the power of our Digivices! Tai: Then it's over! We actually won! Matt: Looks that way! Joe: Excuse me while I throw up. Sora: I guess we saved the world. Kari: Mhm! Ogremon: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Elecmon: You did it! Ogremon: You're amazing! Remind me to call you the next time I have trouble with my landlord. Mimi: It was nothing! Andromon: Thanks for everything! Izzy: Well, I did have some help, you know. (Meanwhile the human world returns to normal) Jim: Great, bro! I'm proud of you.

Ogremon suggests unleashing unrelenting violence upon landlords and I approve this message.

Once the title card is past us, there are more visitors to Apocalymon's void.

Gennai and Centarumon show up.

Gennai: It looks like your world has been saved too. Kids: Yes! Takeru: What will happen to the Digimon World? Centarumon: Look carefully under your feet.

The children look below them and see the darkness peel away, revealing File Island in the distance.

Takeru: An island? Garudamon: It's File Island! Centarumon: The prophecy in the ancient ruins concluded with these words: "The first to return to life will be the island. From the island will come new skies, seas, and land. Mimi: So, what does that mean? Centarumon: It means the Digital World is being created anew.

A linguistic note: When Centarumon says the Digital World is created, he uses the word 天地創造 tenchisouzou. This is a composite of 創造 souzou which means to create something and 天地 tenchi or heaven. Heavenly creation.

He's saying that the Digital World is being "created" anew in a Biblical sense.

Then the kids notice black and white pixels fluttering around File Island.

Taichi: What's that down there? Gennai: The Digimon may also be reborn right alongside this world. Kids: REALLY!?!? Taichi: Let's go, guys! Kids: YEAH!!!

So, it seems the Digital World was destroyed utterly once Apocalymon's void emerged. That's probably why we all suddenly fell into the void. When the void erupted and spread down across the wireframe of Spiral Mountain, I guess it didn't stop there.

But with Apocalymon's destruction, the void is giving way for a new Digital World to take its place. And, of course, the Village of Beginnings lives again.

In the dub:

Gennai: Sorry I'm late. Forgot to set my alarm. Is it over? Kids: Yeah! T.K.: So what's gonna happen to the Digital World now? Centarumon: See for yourselves. Look down. Kids: Huh!? (The kids see File Island emerge) Tai: It's File Island! Centarumon: The ancient prophecy said that after the great darkness is over, the first thing to be reborn will be the island. And from that island will come the land and the seas. Mimi: Yeah, but what does that mean? Centarumon: It means that the Digi-World will start over from the beginning. Izzy: What's happening down there? Gennai: The Digi-World is being reborn as are all the Digimon from the past. We're gonna need a lot of diapers! Kids: Huh!? Tai: Alright! Let's go! Kids: Right!

Pretty much the same. "The Digi-World will start over from the beginning" is a pretty solid pragmatic translation of "The Digimon World is undergoing heavenly creation again."

The children and their cohort return to Primary Village, where Elecmon's ecstatic to see it alive and vibrant again.

Elecmon: The village is back to normal!

A shower of Digitama from all the Digimon who died since Spiral Mountain was erected rain down across the village.

Takeru: IT'S FULL OF DIGITAMA!!! Patamon: YAY!!!

Takeru and Patamon race into the village, eager to start rubbing some eggs.

Elecmon: HEY, WAIT FOR ME!!!

The three set to work, rubbing the shit out of those eggs. Hikari, a bit lost about what's happening here, approaches them.

All Three: (singsong) Rub-rub! Rub-rub! Hikari: What are you guys doing? Patamon: We're hatching the Digitama. (A Digitama rolls to Hikari's foot. She picks it up.) Hikari: Are you going to hatch all of them? Elecmon: That's right! A lot of Digimon will be born from these Digitama. The future of the Digimon World begins right here!

Hikari looks up to the sky and sees the Digitama continuing to rain into the village. She smiles brightly, now understanding.

Takeru: You should join us, Hikari-chan. Hikari: Okay! (rubs and sings) Rub-Rub! Group: Rub-rub!

In the dub, Sora kicks us off with a reminder of what this place is.

Sora: It's the Primary Village! Elecmon: And everything's back to normal. Joe: Looks like it's starting to rain. T.K.: (excited) Whoa! A Digi-Egg storm! (T.K. and Patamon race into the village) Elecmon: Wait, those eggs are my responsibility! (The boys start rubbing eggs) T.K.: Are you gonna count them all? Elecmon: Are you crazy? You never count your Digi-Eggs before they hatch. Kari: What are you doing? Patamon: Helping these Digi-Eggs hatch. (A Digi-Egg rolls to Kari's feet. She picks it up.) Kari: Are you going to hatch them all? Elecmon: What do you suggest? We make an omelet? Of course we're going to hatch them all! The future of the Digi-World depends on it! Kari: Yay! Patamon: You can help! Just rub them gently.... (Kari starts rubbing Digi-Eggs) Kari: This is fun! Elecmon: We should be done in about sixty years.

Some decent laugh lines added but otherwise pretty similar. The omelet crack and "sixty years" got me. XD

Though the tonal difference between "The future of the Digimon World begins here" and "The future of the Digi-World depends on this!" is a bit eyerolling. Americans gotta have everything fierce.

The rest of the group watches, unhelpfully opting not to join in the hatching spree.

Ogremon: Now Leomon will be born again. Mimi: Really!? Does that mean Piccolomon, Whamon, and the others will be too? Gennai: Uhhh, eventually.

Gennai, your tone of voice is really bringing the mood down. Do not shit in our pancakes right now. We earned these pancakes.

Andromon: What do you think, everyone? Should we take a photo to commemorate the occasion? Taichi: A photo!? Let's do it! Sora: Good idea! Yamato: I'm in! Koushiro: I'll grab Takeru-kun and the others. (Koushiro exits) Gennai: A photo, huh? (excited) Yehhhhh!

Gennai fusses with what passes for his hair, and we cut to everyone lined up for the picture. Hikari even brings over the little yellow Digitama she's been rubbing. The gang's all here, except Andromon because he's taking the photo.

Taichi: Alright, go ahead! Andromon: Hai, chizu! Digitama: (wiggle wiggle) Hikari: Huh? Takeru: What's wrong?

It's falling a bit out of style since smartphones have replaced cameras and the entire culture of picture-taking is different. But the phrase "Hai, chizu!" has a long history with Japanese photography.

It translates to "Okay, cheese!" So it's similar to the western custom of saying cheese, but it has a different purpose. In the west, it's the people having their photos taken are supposed to say cheese because the mouth movement to enunciate the word stretches their mouths into a wide smile. But in Japan, it's the picture-taker who says cheese.

The phrase "Hai, chizu" is spoken at a rhythmic cadence, with the understanding that the photo will be snapped on the syllable "zu". So Japan uses this sing-songy phrase as a metronomic countdown. It's so everyone's on the same page, holding still, and looking their best when the picture-taker hits zu.

Youth culture has changed a lot in the twenty years since this show came out and I don't think this is in style anymore. But it was when the show was made.

So Andromon counts down and snaps the picture. However, right as we hit zu, the Digitama in Hikari's hands suddenly hatches. The resulting photo captures the shocked and startled reactions from the group around her.

(It's a Botamon like how Hikari's first Digitama was a Botamon! Ending where we began!)

Absolutely nobody cares about the picture anymore; All eyes are on the newborn Botamon in Hikari's hands.

Tailmon: What happened!? Elecmon: It hatched! Patamon: So cute!

In the dub:

Ogremon: This means Leomon will be reborn. Mimi: That's right! And Piximon, Whamon, and Wizardmon too! Gennai: Yes, someday. Andromon: We should take a picture to commemorate this special occasion! Tai: A picture! Good idea. Sora: Sure, let's do it. Matt: Yeah, I'm in. Izzy: Great, I'll go get T.K. and Kari then. Gennai: Gotta shine my head! (Gennai fusses with his hair and everyone gathers) Tai: Alright, we're ready! Andromon: Say "cheese"! Digi-Egg: (wiggle wiggle) Kari: Huh? T.K.: What's wrong? (Digi-Egg hatches right as picture is taken) Gatomon: What is it? Elecmon: Look, it hatched! Patamon: It's so cute!

This is almost exactly word-for-word. In fact, it skews so close to original script that they don't even westernize the photo-taking. Not one of the kids says "cheese" after Andromon tells them to.

There is one subtle difference that stands out to me, though. Mimi. Uh. Mimi shouldn't hold her breath for Wizardmon.

...

(˙ ◠ ˙)

...

Welp, time to hit the ol' Digi-Trail. Ogremon, pulling a sandogasa and cloak straight out of his asshole, says his farewells.

Ogremon: Well then.... Kids: Huh? Mimi: (confused) What are you wearing? Ogremon: I'm not hanging around here anymore. I'm going traveling! Palmon: Why!? Stay with us! Ogremon: Not happening! A proud Virus-type like my glorious self doesn't hang out with Data and Vaccines like you punks! Ha! Later!

After once again very pretentiously referring to himself as ore-sama using a super-respectful honorific meant for venerating respected superiors and elders, Ogremon overdramatically vanishes into the distance.

To answer Mimi's question, the traveling cloak and straw hat are stereotypical Japanese wanderer attire, popularized by people who lived their lives on the road during medieval Japanese history. A common look for ronin or masterless samurai types, but also worn by merchants and other kinds of travelers.

Piyomon: He left. Gomamon: He just can't be honest with himself about his feelings. Tentomon: I just can't get my head around those Virus-type jerks. Gennai: Now, don't say that. When Agumon became SkullGreymon through Dark Evolution, I said that it was the wrong evolution. However, what I meant was that it was wrong for your purposes. There is no right or wrong way to evolve. Agumon: (unconvinced) Hmm. Maybe next time, I'll evolve into a Virus-type then. Other Partner Digimon: NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

This is a joke about the fact that MetalGreymon, prior to the anime retconning the species and changing their color scheme from blue to red, was a Virus Digimon. MetalGreymon (Blue) still exists as a separate species but doesn't come up in games and stuff nearly as much.

In the dub:

Ogremon: I'm outta here! Kids: Huh!? Mimi: What do you mean, you're leaving? Ogremon: It's time to hit the road. Take a hike. Make like a tree and leaf. Palmon: But Ogremon, why not stay here with us? Ogremon: Look, I'm a Virus-type Digimon. You guys are Data and Vaccine types. If I hang around here too long, I'll get sick to my stomach! Catch you later! (Ogremon teleports away) Biyomon: He vanished!

Presumably for purposes of animation budget, as Ogremon leaves, his animation cel just sort fades, becoming increasingly transparent until he disappears completely. Easy shorthand for him disappearing into the distance.

For some reason, the dub decides to take this super literally. They add a warping sound effect to him fading away, which Biyomon then reacts to. Canonizing for their continuity that Ogremon's been sitting on the ability to teleport this entire time.

(What a dick! Really would have come in handy when we needed to transport Mimi's army up to the Dark Masters' base.)

Gomamon: He just can't face the fact that he likes us. Tentomon: Hmph, I've never heard of a Virus giving someone a cold shoulder! Gennai: Don't say that! Do you remember the day that Agumon first Digivolved into SkullGreymon? At the time, I said it was the wrong thing to do but the truth is, when it comes to Digivolving, there's no right or wrong. A Digimon's destiny cannot be changed. That day was a real eye-opener for me! Of course, I haven't been able to open them since. Agumon: Well! If that's the case then next time I'll just Digivolve myself into the next Dark Master! Other Partner Digimon: OH NO!!! / DON'T!!! / WHATEVER YOU DO, NO!!!

In the original, Gennai clarifies his original statement about SkullGreymon to mean that this evolutionary path wouldn't work for the Chosen Children's purposes, not that it was inherently wrong for a Greymon to evolve that way. What he said was true; He just realizes now that perhaps he didn't communicate his meaning clearly.

In the dub, Gennai corrects himself and renounces his original statement. He's changed his mind since then and decided that SkullGreymon's Dark Evolution was fine, actually. Then he ends on a joke about his character design.

From here, the children leave the Village of Beginnings. They return to Seadramon's lake, with that out-of-place trolley still sitting on its own little island a short distance out.

Sora: Isn't this nostalgic? This is where we spent our first night in this world. Koushiro: That's right. Gabumon evolved into Garurumon and fought Seadramon here. Jou: Well! It all ended on a happy note, anyways. We can return to our world with our heads held high! Maybe they'll treat us like heroes! They'll make us do tons of interviews. What do you guys think? Gomamon: ...Jou....

It's only at that moment that Jou takes a vibe check and realizes this is not a triumphant moment for the rest of the group. The other children seem dour, as do their Partners. Takeru may even be crying.

Jou: Oh no, I may have misspoken. Hey, even after we go home, we can always come back! Gomamon: (more forceful) Jou.... Jou: (mutters) Right, that won't work out even if we do come back. The flow of time is different between this world and our world, so we don't even know if we'll live to see each other again. (to the others) I'm sorry.

Well, there he is. Jou's all caught up to where everyone else is. After these many months in the Digital World growing into a proud nakama, the time has come to finally part ways. Time to send the children back to their own world while the Digimon remain in this one.

In the dub:

Sora: This sure brings back memories! This is the exact spot where we spent our first night here in the Digi-World. Izzy: That's right! This is where Gabumon first Digivolved into Garurumon and fought Seadramon! Joe: Yeah! And this is the place where I fainted for the first time! Well, the first time in the Digi-World, anyway. Boy, it sure is great strolling down memory lane, isn't it? Hey, do you think when we all get back, we'll be some kind of heroes? Haha, And-and win a whole bunch of awards like an Emmy or something. Gomamon: (despondent) Joe.... Joe: Sorry! Old dopey me. Open mouth, insert foot. I mean, we can always come back, right, guys? ...right? Gomamon: ...Joe.... Joe: Oh. Heh. I forgot. Faux pas. Time passes differently here than in our world. You guys will probably be long gone! Whoops... there goes the other foot.

They play this for comedy, but still in a really sad way. Like, it almost feels like Joe's rambling incoherently to stave off a panic attack, which works pretty well for the vibe of the scene.

Suddenly, Yamato has an idea.

Yamato: Hey! Sora: What? Yamato: We still have a lot of time left in summer vacation, right? I'm thinking of staying in this world until the holiday's over. Jou: Ah! That's a great idea! Takeru: If Onii-chan is staying then I am too! Hikari: So am I! Is that okay, Onii-chan? Taichi: Yeah! Koushiro: Maybe I should too. Mimi: Me too! Sora: And me too! We have plenty of time! Koushiro: That's right. If we consider one day in this world to be the equivalent of one minute in our world and we have four weeks of vacation.... Jou: Let me do the mental math.

The sound of a cash register ringing up items plays while Jou's calculating in his head. His eyelids flicker in tune to it.

Jou: Let's see... 40,320 days... (ka-ching) That's 110 years! Mimi: Really!? Yamato: Great! Let's go on a brand new adventure! Taichi: SWEET!!! LET'S GO!!! TO A NEW ADVENTURE!!! Kids: LET'S GO!!!

(These children are gone a few days and then their parents finally get them back and they're ninety.)

In the dub:

Matt: Hey! You know, we've still got a lot of summer left. I was thinking maybe we could stay here until our vacation's over. Joe: Yeah! That's a great idea! T.K.: If Matt's staying, I'm staying too! Kari: Me too! Is that okay, Tai? Tai: Sure! Mimi: I'm staying too! Sora: Me too! Izzy: We might as well. We've got plenty of time. Since an entire day in the Digital World is equal to just one minute in the real world and we've still got four weeks left of summer vacation.... Joe: Then we can stay here in the Digital World for up to... let's see... carry the four, divide by three... a really, really long time. Izzy: To be precise, it's 40,320 days. That's about 110 years! Tai: ALRIGHT, WE'RE STAYING!!! Kids: YAY!!!

I guess the dub didn't like Jou scooping Koushiro on the Smart Boy moment. They also didn't catch the cash register visual gag, as is usual with sound effects.

It made perfect sense to me. Koushiro has a lot of practical knowledge because he's a very curious boy. However, Jou is two grades higher than him and attends classes at a private cram school to prepare him for entry into a highly-accredited middle school.

So I do buy that Jou, rather than Koushiro, is the one who can suddenly pop off mathematic calculations off the top of his head. Koushiro is smart in an "I read the entire Wikipedia front to back because I wanted to know why frogs are that color" sort of way, but Jou-senpai is the most formally educated.

Unfortunately, as much as the kids may want to stay, it's not going to be that simple. Agumon notices a shadow passing over the sun.

Agumon: Huh?

The kids all look up to see the shadow. While they're doing that, Gennai and Centarumon slip into their midst with sick ninja skills. Very impressive, especially considering Centarumon has hooves.

Koushiro: That's a solar eclipse, isn't it? Gennai: Children, I have something I must tell you. Mimi: Something to tell us? Is it good news or bad news? Gennai: It's probably... bad news.... Kids: (collective groan)

And he'll be right here to deliver the new new dire news about their predicament RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

(Apocalymon's big sister EvenMoreApocalymon just showed up and is trying to eat the sun! She's Hyper-Evolved to a stage beyond even Ultimate Evolution! In these next fourteen episodes we will--)

In the dub:

Agumon: Hey, look! (Everyone looks at the eclipse) Izzy: It's an eclipse! Gennai: Yes, it is. And there's something very important you should know about it, children. Mimi: I know! You're not supposed to look directly into it! Gennai: True! But that's not all. This eclipse could cost you your lives....

Gennai plays this even scarier than the original does.

I love his reaction to Mimi trying to guess about his impending topic. She isn't right but she's not wrong, and he validates her for that.

The dub also takes their second commercial break here. Then we return from commercial to unpack this new development.

Koushiro: Isn't this just an eclipse? Centarumon: That part that's in shadow is the gate that connects us to your world. The eclipse will end in two hours. Yamato: So what? We'll just wait for the next time a gate opens. Mimi: That's right! We still have 110 years of summer vacation left. Gennai: Actually, the arrival of Apocalymon has caused the flow of time between your world and the Digital World to align. Taichi: WHAT!?!? Yamato: B-But what would happen if we stayed anyway!? Jou: (wincing) Yamato.... Gennai: This world may recognize your data as a foreign contamination and delete it. Yamato: Then... Gennai: I'm sorry.

THAT'S BEEN A THING THAT COULD HAPPEN THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO MENTION IT!?!? JIJI!!! I don't think we're gonna be able to Warp Evolve our way out of this one, guys.

Not super clear from Gennai's phrasing if the reason time aligned is because Apocalymon was causing the time distortion and died, or if the alignment of time is one last distortion from the road.

Gennai says it was caused by Apocalymon arriving, not Apocalymon's defeat. Sure enough, people back in the human world did seem to be watching the Apocalymon battle take place in real-time instead of ultra fast-forward.

The subs here say it brought the flow of time "back into alignment". But the line he delivers is that Apocalymon's appearance made "時間の流れが同じになったのじゃ Jikan no nagare ga onaji ni natta no ja" between the two worlds. Which translates to "the flow of time became the same." No indication that this is how it was originally.

So I think the Digital World moving much more quickly through time than the human world was how it was originally, and this was one last distortion caused by the final battle with the reality-breaking Apocalymon.

In the dub:

Izzy: You mean it's not an ordinary eclipse? Centarumon: That shadow is the gate that connects your world to the Digital World. I'm afraid the eclipse will only last for two more hours. Matt: That's not a problem. We'll just wait until it opens up again. Mimi: Yeah! After all, we still have over a hundred years of summer vacation left! Gennai: Actually, when Apocalymon appeared, the flow of time here and in your world became synchronized. Mimi: So then we still have four weeks left, right? Matt: That's plenty of time to have fun! Gennai: Well. Actually, you only have the two hours because once the portal is closed, it's closed forever. Matt: But.... Gennai: Sorry. It's time to say goodbye.

The dub merely says the flow of time "became synchronized", which lines up with the original Japanese line.

Gennai having to reassert the two hour time limit when Mimi still refuses to accept the urgency is a good bit. XD

Though, notably, the dub only threatens that they'll be trapped in this world forever. Gennai leaves out the scary part where the Digital World will fucking delete them for being invalid data.

Homeostasis may have brought them here but they aren't welcome. The Digital World considers Homeostasis's whole "We should do an isekai" thing to be that "That's just, like, your opinion, man" meme. These kids were kidnapped, smuggled here in the back of a truck, and then made to work but now the job's done so they can get the fuck out.

It's honestly pretty rude. For a reality created by human data they have some problematic societal structures. Humans would never treat people this way!

...

...

>.< Fuck me, they learned it from watching us, didn't they?

Now on a time limit, it really is time to say goodbye.

Piyomon: When you get back to your world, say hi to your mom for me. Sora: Mhm... I want to thank you for that, Piyomon. There's always been a misunderstanding between me and my mom. But you stepped in and fixed it. I think my mom and I will get along fine from now on. Piyomon: Really. Sora: Hehe, really. Piyomon: If that's true, then I'm really glad! I thought you always spoiled me because I was constantly bothering you.

With tears in her eyes, Sora hugs Piyomon.

Sora: That's not true. It was never true, Piyomon. Piyomon: (crying) Sora! Sora: (crying) Piyomon!

I mean, it was kinda true for like one episode, but Sora was still really freaked out about every single part of being plunged into an unfamiliar wilderness to fend for herself.

In the dub:

Biyomon: I'm sure gonna miss you, Sora. Say hi to your mom for me when you get back. Sora: Sure. ...I want to thank you, Biyomon. Before I met you, I didn't get along with my mom very well. We argued. She would never let me do anything! But thanks to you, I understand her a lot better! You showed me how much my mom really loves me. Biyomon: You mean it? Sora: Hehe, of course! Biyomon: That makes me so happy to hear you say that! Sometimes I thought I was just bothering you and getting in your way all the time. (Sora hugs Biyomon and cries) Sora: Don't be silly! You weren't a bother! You're my best friend! Oh, Biyomon, I'm gonna miss you so much! (sobs)

Some minor changes but the dub hits the key points: Sora never considered Biyomon to be a nuisance and Sora's grateful to Biyomon for helping her appreciate her mother more.

Jou's turn next.

We find Jou sitting with Gomamon on the edge of Seadramon's lake, throwing rocks into the water.

Jou: You and I might not have been a good pairing, but I had a lot of fun. Gomamon: (somber) I did too. (suddenly cheerful) A-Anyways, when you get back to your world, work hard (ganbare) on your studies! Jou: Yeah....

Jou holds out his hand to Gomamon.

Gomamon: What? Jou: Let's shake hands. Gomamon: Huh? Okay.

Gomamon places his flipper in Jou's hand.

Jou: Huh? Gomamon: What? Jou: That was a hand after all!

With tears forming in their eyes, the boys laugh and gently shake hands; In the process, paying off their long-running gag about Gomamon's "hands".

In the dub:

Joe: I know it's gonna be hard to find a friend as great as I am, Gomamon, but you'll have to try. Gomamon: Not a problem. I took an ad out in the personals. I've got five interviews lined up for next week. Joe: (unconvinced) Hmm. Gomamon: What!? Joe: At least let's shake hands. Gomamon: Okay. For luck. (Gomamon puts his flipper in Joe's hand) Joe: Wow! Gomamon: What? Joe: For someone without a hand, you've got a pretty strong grip.

The hand joke is different but it's fairly close to original. However, the brief heart-to-heart talk at the start is replaced by more gags.

Next up, it's Koushiro's turn. Koushiro is with Gennai and his Mekanorimon suit at the trolley, working on something. We see Gennai welding something on the undercarriage, while Koushiro and Tentomon are in the driver's compartment.

Koushiro: Tentomon. Tentomon: (already half-crying) Koushiro-han.... Koushiro: Really... You're....

Socially awkward as ever, Koushiro trips over his own words. Finally, he falls back on old habits and gives Tentomon a polite bow.

Koushiro: Thank you very much for taking care of me.

It's a memorized gesture he's falling back on because he can't find the words to say. お世話になりました osewa ni narimashita is one of those stock Japanese phrases for being polite. Its purpose is to show gratitude for someone letting you stay at their house overnight or putting you up while you're in town or somesuch.

He's doing what he always does with people and reciting memorized politeness because he doesn't know how to express himself.

Tentomon's so startled by Koushiro's reaction that he stumbles back and falls over himself. Panicking, Koushiro jumps to his feet and rushes over to Tentomon. He's so concerned for Tentomon, he doesn't even notice he accidentally smacked his laptop off the dashboard.

All this commotion causes the windshield wipers to turn on, which silently squeegee the windshield in the foreground through the rest of the scene.

Koushiro picks up Tentomon off the floor, holding him in his hands.

Tentomon: Even right up to the very end, you still speak so formally to me. Koushiro: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But what would be the right thing to say at a time like this? Tentomon: Hmm... That's a hard question. I don't think you need to force yourself to find the right words. Maybe it's okay to stick with formalities. Some day, your words will flow more naturally. Koushiro: You think so? I'd like that too.

Abandoning words, Koushiro pulls Tentomon in for a hug, and the boys cry quietly together.

The dub has the unfortunate task of needing to make this scene work with an Izzy they have not been writing as endlessly formal, polite, and socially awkward. Their plan is to drown the scene out in ob

Izzy: Tentomon. Tentomon: Yes, Izzy? Izzy: There's something I need to tell you before we part ways. Okay? (Izzy bows politely) Izzy: I love you. (Tentomon freaks out and falls over; Izzy rushes to pick him up)

When Izzy picks up Tentomon, the dub gives the windshield wipers a loud, obnoxious squeegeeing sound that's a little louder than the dialogue and very annoying.

Izzy: TENTOMON!!! Are you okay? Tentomon: Yes, I'm fine. But I was a little taken aback by your sudden display of emotion. Izzy: You're right. Sorry about that. I don't usually get emotional but this was a unique occasion. Tentomon: I understand. You don't have to say it. I know how much our friendship has meant to us and, in the name of our friendship, I need to ask you one last favor. Izzy: Yeah, what is it? Tentomon: WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN OFF THOSE WINDSHIELD WIPERS!?!? Izzy: Sure thing, pal. Anything for you. Give me a hug. (Izzy pulls Tentomon in for a hug) Tentomon: ACK! ACK! YOU'RE CHOKING ME!!!

The wipers continue loudly squeegeeing while Izzy hugs Tentomon.

So, for the dub's version, Izzy's just... suddenly overcome with a huge surge of affection and emotion he's rarely shown before. To be fair, this is a super emotional situation to be in.

Next up, Takeru. Takeru and Patamon are standing side-by-side bawling their eyes out in a field of flowers.

Patamon: (bawling) Takeru, don't cry! Takeru: (bawling) But... But... We're never gonna see each other again! Patamon: (bawling) You're wrong! The flow of time between your world and my world is the same now, so I'm sure we'll meet again someday!

Takeru's tears dry up and he looks down at Patamon with renewed hope.

Takeru: Really? Patamon: We met again after Devimon, didn't we? Takeru: Yeah... Because, at the time, I believed we would meet again. Patamon: Then believe that now! Takeru: Okay. Then let's meet again! Promise? Patamon: Promise!

Takeru shakes Patamon's little paw as the two boys put their faith in what the future holds for them. A faith that will be rewarded through the power of franchise expansion, woo!

In the dub:

Patamon: (bawling) T.K., please stop crying because you're making me cry! T.K.: (bawling) I was just crying 'cause you were crying! Patamon: (bawling) Well if you're crying because I'm crying and I'm crying because you're crying then neither one of us needs to be crying, do we? (T.K. stops crying) T.K.: Oh. Oh, yeah. Patamon: Besides, I'm sure we're gonna see each other again one day. T.K.: Yeah! Just like we saw each other again after that thing with Devimon. Patamon: That's right! We did! T.K.: Let's make a pact. We'll see each other again! Promise? Patamon: Promise!

T.K. is a lot easier to pacify than Takeru is. He's even the one who brings up Patamon's death and reincarnation in the Devimon fight, rather than Patamon having to remind him of it.

Next on the list is Yamato. (Wait, really? I figured Yamato and Taichi would go last. Huh.) Yamato sits in the grass with Gabumon at the top of a hill.

For a moment, neither of them say anything. They sit there in silence, eyes watering. Gabumon is the first to speak.

Gabumon: Hey... Yamato.... Yamato: Hm? Gabumon: Could I hear it again? Your harmonica? Yamato: (smiling, faintly) Yeah....

Yamato takes out his harmonica and plays.

The dub lets the quiet moment sit.

Gabumon: ...that says it all. Matt: Hm? Gabumon: I wouldn't mind hearing you play your harmonica one last time. Matt: Glad to.

This is perfect. The "one last time" in particular adds a heartbreaking touch.

We move from there to Taichi. Taichi can hear Yamato's harmonica playing, and the tears well in his eyes.

Taichi: Ugh. Yamato, you jerk.... Agumon: What's wrong? Taichi: (frantically wipes his eyes) Nothing! Agumon: (unconvinced) Mm.

Moving along, Agumon calls Taichi's attention to the area behind him. They're on the little island with the trolley.

Agumon: Taichi, this is it, right? This is where I torched the firewood with my Baby Flame. Taichi: Yeah, that's right. Then the flames from our bonfire burned Seadramon's tail and made him mad. Agumon: (realizing) Whuh? ...that was my fault!? Taichi: Huh? Nah. I'm the one who stuck his tail in the bonfire. Hahahaha! Agumon: TAICHI!!!

It doesn't take Agumon long for Taichi's jubilation to become infectious, and soon he's laughing too.

AT LONG LAST, EXONERATION FOR SEADRAMON. Y'all have been painting that poor sea serpent with the "evil Digimon" brush for SO LONG.

(I did not realize they were actually going to talk about this. But I've been banging this gong for so long that I'm pleased to see it come full circle.)

In the dub:

Tai: Stupid Matt and his harmonica. Agumon: What's the matter? Tai: Nothing. Agumon: (unconvinced) Yeah. Sure. (Agumon draws attention to the area) Agumon: Hey, come over here and look at this! This is the spot where I first made my Pepper Breath, remember? Tai: Remember? How could I ever forget. That's where you burned Seadramon's tail and he attacked us. And your aim hasn't gotten much better since then either! Agumon: Hey! You don't really believe that, do you? Tai: Mmmm... Well, look at the bright side. Your aim hasn't gotten any worse! Hahahahahaha! Agumon: (disappointed) Come on, Tai....

Agumon does not join Tai in laughing at his expense. This is absolutely terrible. Tai's final words to Agumon are to mock him for being a poor shot, so that already sucks.

But also, they reminisce like in the original but they do it so badly. According to the dub, Agumon used Pepper Breath for the very first time in episode 3, when he fired off a shot that hit Seadramon's tail by accident. What was he supposed to be shooting at? No idea.

This is wildly incorrect for multiple reasons. Dub team. Dub team, you dubbed that episode already. Be better.

In the woods, Hikari takes off her whistle. The whistle she's had since she was a baby, that was such a huge part of her character in the OVA.

Tailmon: For me? Hikari: Yeah.

Hikari puts the lanyard around Tailmon's neck.

Tailmon: Thank you. Hikari: It looks good on you. Tailmon: Does it? Well... Take care of yourself, Hikari. Hikari: Yeah. Until next time. Tailmon: Next time? Hikari: Yeah! Next time! Tailmon: (blink blink)

Tailmon blinks, surprised by Hikari's words, but she does not elaborate.

Very little is directly said here, and yet this brief exchange carries so much weight. Hikari encourages Tailmon to believe they'll meet again the same way Patamon encouraged Takeru. So there's a symmetry there.

But moreover, Tailmon spent years of her life alone and abandoned. So Hikari gives her something really important to her. A physical memento she can keep close to her chest and always remember Hikari by.

In the dub:

Gatomon: For me? Kari: Uh-huh! Here, let me put it on you. It doubles as a flea collar! (Kari puts the lanyard around Gatomon's neck) Gatomon: Thanks, Kari. Kari: It looks good on you! Gatomon: Gee, thanks! Oh, wow... I guess this is... goodbye.... Kari: Yeah. 'Til next time. Gatomon: Next time? Kari: Yup! That's right! Gatomon: Huh...?

It doubles as a flea collar? I have questions for Yuuko and Susumu.

This one's perfect. No notes.

Well, that's everyone. It's time to head out-- Wait, what do you mean there's one left? Who hasn't said goodbye yet?

Mimi: (distraught) PALMON!!! PALMON!!!

Mimi wanders through the woods, frantically calling out for her Partner. Some of the Gekomon notice her.

Gekomon: Huh? Mimi, what are you doing geko? Mimi: Palmon isn't here. Have you seen her? Gekomon: We haven't seen her geko. Mimi: Oh. Where could Palmon have gone? There's so little time left. (Mimi resumes her search) Mimi: PALMON!!! PALMON!!!

As Mimi disappears into the woods, Palmon pops out from the underbrush with tears in her eyes.

Palmon: Mimi....

She isn't lost. She just... can't face this moment with Mimi.

In the dub:

Mimi: PALMON!!! WHERE YOU ARE!? I WANT TO SAY GOODBYE!!! Gekomon: Huh!? Princess Mimi, what are you doing? Mimi: Palmon's disappeared. Have you seen her? Gekomon: Not recently. Sorry. Mimi: I don't understand how she could leave at a time like this. There's only a few minutes left. (Mimi resumes her search) Mimi: PALMON!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!? I'M LEAVING SOON!!! (Palmon watches Mimi go) Palmon: Mimi....

The dub is still calling her Princess Mimi.

Soon, the time has come. The children return to the trolley, where Gennai and Koushiro are waiting for them.

Gennai: Have you all said your goodbyes? We've finished preparing for your departure. Once you get on this trolley, it will take you back to your world.

Well, the kids aren't entirely ready to go. The kids look at Mimi, who's leaning on Sora and crying her eyes out.

Taichi: You see.... Sora: Can we have a little more time? Just a little bit? Gennai: You can't just stick around. The Gate won't wait for you. Sora: But- Gennai: What's wrong? Agumon: Palmon's gone. Mimi: (bawling) STUPID, STUPID, STUPID PALMON!!!

T_T Mimi.... Palmon no baka indeed.

In the dub:

Gennai: Have you all finished saying your goodbyes? You can take this cable car home on one condition: You have to promise to bring it back to San Francisco where I borrowed it from. Tai: Well... um.... Sora: Can't we just have a little more time? Please, Gennai, do something. Gennai: I'm sorry, Sora. The gate won't wait any longer. What's the problem? Agumon: Palmon seems to have disappeared. Mimi: (bawling) Why would she run away!? Why!?

"You have to promise to bring it back to San Francisco where I borrowed it from." XD Goddammit, that was good. Raises so many logistical questions that can never and will never be answered.

I accept your premise that Gennai is probably wanted in the U.S. for grand theft auto, and that the only explanation anyone will ever receive from him is "You don't know my life."

While Mimi cries her eyes out, we cut to Palmon sitting by herself in the woods. The two Gekomon Mimi spoke with earlier find her there.

Palmon: (crying) Mimi.... Gekomon 1: Oh, here you are geko. Gekomon 2: Mimi was searching for you geko. Palmon: I know... But I don't want to see her.... Gekomon 1: Why geko? Palmon: Because it hurts too much to say goodbye. So it's better if I don't see her.... Gekomon 1: Are you okay with that geko? Gekomon 2: Are you sure you're okay with that geko? Gekomon 1: Will you regret it geko? Palmon: ...Mimi....

The Gekomon recognize how important this is, and pressure Palmon not to make a mistake that will haunt both her and Mimi for the rest of their lives next three years or so.

In the dub:

Palmon: (crying wordlessly) Gekomon 1: Palmon! So that's where you're hiding. Gekomon 2: Mimi's been looking for you! Palmon: Yes, I know. But I don't want to see her. Gekomon 1: I don't understand. Palmon: It's simple. If I don't see her, then she can never say goodbye to me. Gekomon 1: Is that what you really want? Gekomon 2: I'm afraid you'll regret it one day. Palmon: It's too painful to say goodbye....

Pretty solid. Covers everything.

When we return to the trolley, the kids are gathered outside of it while Gennai watches the sun. Which sort of implies that they did manage to convince him to give them a couple extra minutes.

Gennai: It's time. Mimi: (cries louder) Gennai: Everyone, board the trolley. Taichi: Okay....

The children sadly board the train, leaving their Partner Digimon behind on the island outside. They open the windows so they can see their Partners one last time.

Taichi: Well, guys... Take care of yourselves. Agumon: You too.

In the dub, it's Sora who kicks this off.

Sora: I'm sorry, Mimi. We can't wait for Palmon any longer. Gennai: It's time. Get on the cable car, everyone. Tai: Come on. Let's go. (Everyone boards the trolley) Tai: Well, guys, this is it. What can I say? Agumon: (gently) Try "goodbye".

Sora's line makes the implication that they got their extra time a bit more explicit.

But now, it's time to go.

A sign on the front of the trolley changes to reflect their destination. Starting with 竜の目の湖 Ryuu no Me no Mizuumi or Dragon's Eye Lake, it changes to 光が丘 Hikarigaoka and then over to お台場 Odaiba. A neat reference to the fact that Hikarigaoka is where the first rift between realities was torn.

Tailmon blows the whistle Hikari gave her, and the nearby power poles surge electricity into the trolley through invisible cables. The trolley comes to life, floating into the air and moving away along a nonexistent track.

Digimon: BYE-BYE!!! Children: GOODBYE!!!

The children hang out the windows, waving their final farewell to the Partners they have to leave behind.

The dub cuts the footage of the changing trolley sign. I guess that's fine; American kids aren't going to be able to spot the Hikarigaoka reference anyway.

Digimon: Bye everyone! / Take care! / Goodbye! Joe: Bye everyone! Tai: Don't let anyone push you around! Sora: Make sure you dress warm! Izzy: Take it easy! Matt: Bye!

I think T.K. and Kari say something as well but it's hard to make out in the cacophony of voices.

Inside the trolley, however, Mimi is still crying.

Suddenly, Mimi looks up at the faint sound of Palmon's footsteps. That. She can somehow hear over the trolley moving and everyone shouting.

Sora: Mimi-chan! Mimi: (nods, excitement noises)

Palmon runs along the shore, waving her arms frantically.

Palmon: MIMI!!! MIMI!!! Mimi: (leans out window) PALMON!!! Palmon: MIMI!!! I'M SORRY!!! Mimi: IT'S OKAY!!! IT'S OKAY, PALMON!!! GOODBYE!!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!! Palmon: GOODBYE MIMI--AUGH!!!

Palmon trips suddenly. The shock of which somehow causes Mimi's iconic pink cowboy hat to go flying off her head and sets off one last reprise of the series opening theme Butterfly.

In the dub, they add Palmon calling out to Mimi to better explain how she heard her approach from here.

Palmon: (faintly) MIMI!!! Mimi: (gasp) Sora: Mimi, look! Mimi: (nods, silently smiling) (Palmon runs along the shore) Palmon: MIMI!!! MIMI!!! Mimi: PALMON!!! Palmon: MIMI!!! I'M SORRY!!! Mimi: IT'S OKAY!!! DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! GOODBYE PALMON!!! AND THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Palmon: GOODBYE MIMI--WHOA!!!

For the dub, it's... sigh... "Hey Digimon" that kicks up here. They do their own version of the dramatic musical reprise but their song sucks.

The other Digimon join Palmon in racing across the shore, waving goodbye to the trolley as it disappears.

Digimon: GOODBYE!!!

An interesting creative choice is that as the trolley goes, we, the audience, remain in the Digital World. The trolley fades into the distance, rising at the very end and slipping through the gateway back to the human world just before it closes.

Then it's gone. The children are finally home, and that's the last we see of it.

The final shot is of the enigmatic train crossing that Takeru came upon when he was separated from the others, before reaching the Village of Beginnings. The one that came on but had no train that crossed. Once the trolley leaves, the crossing stops ringing and opens its gate.

Narrator: The eight children's summer vacation adventure is over. However, that does not mean the gate will remain closed. That's because this is neither the beginning nor the end of the Chosen Children's adventures. The Gate to the Digimon World will surely open again as long as we never forget the Digimon.

Mimi's cowboy hat tumbles on the wind, rolling across the sky.

Narrator: So long as you wish for it, then in your heart... no... maybe....

He was about to say that we'll carry our friends in our hearts. But then it's as if the narrator suddenly realizes that his words mean something else. As the screen goes to black, we hear the faint sound of a Digivice activating. Then the final credits roll.

All of which is a very flowery and poetic way, but also incredibly dry way of saying SEE YOU ALL IN SEASON TWO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

In the dub, Tai takes over for the closing narration.

Digimon: GOODBYE!!! (The Children depart and we stay behind) Tai: Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever! I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals the Digimon! You wait and see. One day that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! (Mimi's hat tumbles by) Tai: I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him. Or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will!

As usual, there is no Digivice activation sound effect following Tai's statement. Which makes sense because his final line doesn't dramatically queue it up.

Tai puts a lot more heart into this and his parting words click right up through "We'll return to the Digital World". But after that it just sounds like he's vamping, and can't end as strongly as the beeping Digivice.

Assessment: Holy shit, we made it. The very last episode of the very first series of Digimon Adventure, and yes the departure did make me cry again. Apocalymon ate shit and died, the distortion of the Digital World was finally eradicated, and the now battle-hardened but still fun-loving children are finally going home to their terrified parents.

One thing I learned going through this is how much I did not remember or remembered incorrectly about the original series. There were a lot of surprises to be had here, even right up to the end.

Like. I could have sworn Apocalymon was, like, the resentment of species in the real world that had gone extinct. But that is never suggested in either version. In fact, Apocalymon seems blissfully unaware that the human world even exists. Their beef is solely with the Digimon.

Man, what a trip. Now I have to figure out how I'm going to tackle Our War Game before we can move on to 02.

Probably going to take it the way I did the Dragon Ball movies when I was covering that series for another site and cut it into however many chunks I need to fit episode-lengths into. Should only be two or three.

Looking forward to seeing the 02 kids again. See all-a-y'all next series.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 34

welcome to the thirty-fourth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics. 

1. Red Poppies by @icypantherwrites

Hanahaki (with a twist) AU — Lance has never experienced a case of Hanahaki this bad. He wishes he could say it’s just the amount of flowers he’s coughing up and desperately trying to hide from the team, just as he’s trying to hide the fact that he technically died at Omega Shield from them, but it’s not just that. It’s the fact he keeps choking out red poppies. And red poppies...

They symbolize death.

the most interesting take on hanahaki ive ever seen tbh. i know icy panther is known for her edgier storytelling, but this is one of my faves of hers! i like the originality of it, and of course i adore the addressing of the omega shield disaster

2. Voltron: Last Dialogue by @uncouth-peasant [IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH]

After the events of Omega Shield, the Astral Plane has a visitor.

okay look i know everyone freaks about major character death but im asking u to read this anyway. for one its only IMPLIED, technically lance could still be alive, and also it’s just a really well-written fic. lance and shiro have so so so much potential with how similar their characters and arcs are, so i loved how this one explored that in its heartbreak

3. The Poison of Deceit by @icypantherwrites

This diplomatic mission is not going the way Lance had hoped. The diplomacy part on behalf of Voltron is going fantastic and Lance doesn’t think he’d be remiss in saying he had a large hand in that. But the whole impress Shiro bit is an epic fail as Shiro doesn’t seem to notice his efforts at all and it’s only worse with Keith showing him up at nearly every turn. The aliens they’re working on the alliance though have noticed his efforts. But as Lance stands here now, Shiro and Keith’s lives along with a vial of poison in his hands, he isn’t so certain that was a good thing.

the fuckin ‘i drank poison to save your life’ trope will NEVER get old idc idc. the heart dropping moment when the team realises that by doubting lance they may have cost him his life...insanity fr. like i eat this shit up every time

4. blind spots by @adelfie

Lance knows something’s wrong.

Keith turns his gaze on him, dark eyes latching onto him like an anchor.

Normally this is when Lance can think of something stupid to say to make Keith smile. Bonus points if he can get a laugh. Usually it isn’t hard — smiles come easy when it’s them. But something is wrong, and Lance knows that Keith’s smile will be the farthest thing from him if he says it.

-- Lance gets hurt during a mission with Keith and the Blades.

blade pining down bad keith in startled awe of bamf lance...it eats every single time like lets be honest my friends. bamf lance in every flavour is delectable but through keith’s view????? oh god it’s something special

5. Isn’t There A White Knight by @bosstoaster-writing

Kink Meme FIll: "In the first episode, Lance says that Shiro is his hero. But Shiro is still just a guy in his mid twenties, and we've seen him join in on silly stuff ("Blam blam blam!").

So what I want is five times Lance sees Shiro do dorky, ridiculous things, and one time he realizes he'd still follow this dork to Hell and back."

C'mon, as if I could pass that up.

five plus one? check. lance learning to know his idol as a human? check. gentle and careful and clumsy relationships? check. and dorky loser goober shiro, my love and light? CHECK CHECK CHECK. this fic is so so fun. shiro should get the right to be a dorky goober at all times and anyone who writes that is my hero

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[oneinathousand]

I recently found a pdf of an alleged Blood Meridian movie script written by a guy named William Monahan for Ridley Scott's attempt to make the movie, and let me tell ya, it is truly something else. At first, I refused to believe that it could be real because of some atrocious dialogue and truly baffling changes from the novel. I thought that it MUST have either been written as a prank or it was an amateur trying to pass it off as real, but on Twitter I talked to the guy who leaked the script online in the first place and now I'm more inclined to think that, unfortunately, it was legitimate.

Below are screenshots of some of the worst parts. You'll notice that a lot of the text is in red, but I think it must have been somebody on the Cormac McCarthy forums, where this comes from, highlighting some of the differences from the book, but this was the only pdf I could find so whatever. I also put in a few handwritten notes to express my frustration haha.

If you want to look at the full thing yourself, you can find it here, but I should warn you in advance that on top of the usual Blood Meridian type of violence that you would expect, the screenwriter also put in a sprinkle of random homophobia and underage sex which was NOT in the book and I will be showing those screenshots last with another warning so you know where they are in the script and can avoid it if you want to.

Okay, this part gave me a chuckle. Maybe it's not the best time for a joke from the Judge, though:

These next two come from the ending, which, if you were already aware of this script's existence, you probably heard about because it's the most infamous part. For those who don't know, the screenwriter decides to put in a bizarrely happy ending where the Kid slays the Judge in the jakes and adopts Randall, the brother of the boy that the Kid killed in self-defense (and there's no significant time skip in this version, so the Kid is in his late teens at most probably):

This random fucking nugget of homophobia is on page 32 of the script. I have no idea what this was in here for since it never comes up again and the script leaves out most of the children going missing or being found dead along the way:

And here's the Kid having sex because the screenwriter in their infinite wisdom decided that was missing from the Blood Meridian experience, it's on page 70:

So yeah, good thing this particular adaptation never got made. I just picked the screenshots that were the most obviously awful, but the biggest problems with the script are a very rushed opening act that compresses a bunch of story elements and character introductions to the point of confusion plus the cringy saccharine happy ending that was part of the reason why I thought the script was a joke at first. When the script adheres closer to the book, mostly in the middle, it's not the worst thing in the world. It has a few clever bits of streamlining the book and most of the characters sound like themselves, though the biggest problem there is that the Judge feels like a different character.

Someday I hope to read other scripts trying to adapt the movie from Steve Tesich, James Franco, and Tommy Lee Jones to see how each of them tackled the book, though to my knowledge none are publicly available online, but do let me know they are somewhere and you can lead me to it. This particular effort has set the bar very low.

Most of all I want to know if Cormac McCarthy wrote a complete draft of his attempt before he died. If this latest attempt to make the movie falls through, I hope that the script, if it exists, is released to the public so we can see what would certainly be one of the last things he wrote.

[trashyswitch]

Luigi's Secret

Chapter 7: Hashtag Tickle Fic

Luigi was ready to unwind after a long day. He pulls out his phone, ready to read some tickle fics. But Mario's brotherly antics end up revealing a huge secret Luigi had managed to keep for so long...How will Mario react?!

Here it is...the moment you've all been waiting for...😉

After a long day of work and the occasional tease from his brother, Luigi was ready to just flop into bed and read for a while. He just…didn’t feel like dealing with anymore distractions today. Plus, he had noticed that his favorite writer had uploaded another fanfiction right as his shift had ended, and he was just aching to read it. And now was finally that time. 

Luigi jumped into bed and pulled out his phone, opening up Tumblr and seeing the new fanfiction that was uploaded 4 hours ago. 

[A Predictable Friendship by TrashySwitch]

But…then he remembered that he forgot to read the other previous fanfic uploaded by her. So, he opened up AO3, and clicked the fanfic name underneath the friendship fanfic: 

[Go Home, Will! by TrashySwitch]

Luigi read the hashtags one by one, and bit his lip as he hesitated to click the title. He was nervous that the fanfiction was just going to bring his lee mood right back to where it was earlier this morning… Because unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, these fanfics always seemed to do that to him. Everytime Luigi would read a fanfiction, he would end up in those awful lee moods…and they could only be solved by either reading fanfictions while daydreaming, or by actually being tickled. And the latter option was something that could only happen if he worked up the courage to ask. So…Luigi made due with the former option. 

Luigi finally clicked the title and let the phone load up the fanfic. When it was loaded up, Luigi scrolled down and started to read the summary: 

[William is refusing to go home from work, due to being slammed with so much paperwork. But Henry is having none of it. So he pulls an inconvenient prank on his buddy in an attempt to get him away from the work desk. And it works! Well...kinda.]

Luigi chuckled to himself with a big smile on his face as he read through the beginning of the fanfic. The chances of this fanfic writer actually writing about something realistic that he completely understands…is incredible. Everybody who works a day job would know what it’s like to have that one employee that stays a few minutes past punch out! And…if he were to be honest, the word ‘inconvenient’ was a huge understatement. It gets really annoying…especially when you really wanna go home, but can’t yet because of someone else. 

Luigi kept reading through the fanfic, rather enjoying the playful banter these two characters had. And then one of the employees stealing the phone cord?! That’s so evil! That’s the equivalent of stealing a painter’s paintbrushes! Or a plumbers’ pliers! How does one do their work without that?!

And then the chase scene that resulted from the prank…He knew where this fanfic was going ever since reading the dialogue “COME AND GET IT, LOSER!”. These fanfics usually went the same way, but had different ways of getting there, which always ended up surprising Luigi. 

[William widened his eyes in horror. “aAAAH-” He yelled before squeezing them shut. “OHNO-” William blurted out, hissing as he brought his arms against his sides to cover up his armpits.

“How long can Willy the crybaby handle being tickled?” Henry asked confidently.

“H-HENRYHYHY-” William’s wobbly smile grew wider as he quickly lost control of himself. “DAHAHA! DAMMIHIHIHIT!” William laughed, finally dropping to his knees. “WAHAIT- *snort* HEHEHEHENRYYYY!” William laughed, even letting out a snor-] 

“You and those stories, I tell ya.” Someone said in front of him, taking his phone right out of his hands. 

Luigi widened his eyes and reached up to grab his phone. “NO! I’m just getting to the best part!” Luigi yelled, growing anxious. 

OH NOOO! NOT NOW! WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

Mario moved the phone away from his brother’s hands. “What’s it about this time?” Mario asked, scrolling down slightly. 

OH GOD. 

“NOTHINGJUSTGIVEIT-” Luigi shouted, attempting to tackle his brother down and get his damn phone back. 

“Haha! I’d like to see you try.” Mario teased as he scrolled down a slight bit more. 

Luigi tried to prevent himself from screeching as he started to sweat from how anxious he was. No nO NOO! The last time Mario stole his phone, he had been at the beginning of the fanfic, where it looked like a normal story! And that was already too close to the reveal! But THIS TIME?! He was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TICKLE SCENE! IF MARIO READS HIS PHONE EVEN A SMALL BIT, THEN-THEN…

“Geez- Why are you being so dramatic?!” Mario yelled. 

“JUSTPLEASE-” Luigi begged helplessly. 

“Please what? Please read it to you?” Mario asked. 

Luigi gasped in horror. “NO!” Luigi shouted. 

“Ooooh! Okay! I’d love to read it to you!” Mario teased with a smirk before scrolling up slightly. “Now what word did you last end on?” Mario asked. 

Luigi was practically praying he could just melt into a puddle on the spot and sink into the floor. This CANNOT BE HAPPENING. HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING!

“Da da da- William dropped the shoe and-” 

Luigi quickly started skittering his fingers in Mario’s armpit, hoping and praying this would get the man to drop his phone. Mario guffawed and doubled over, attempting to trap his hand in his armpit. “HEHEhehey! Yohou think that’s reheheally gonna stohohop mehehe?” Mario asked, a small wobbly smile developing on his face. 

Luigi started blushing right away. God, even seeing Mario being tickled could quickly put him into a lee mood. It’s SO NOT FAIR! 

Mario took this little moment of a pause, to start reading the fanfic out loud. “William dropped the shoe and…Uh…” Mario’s face started to change. His words trailed off as he attempted to read the fanfiction on his own. 

[“Come here, you!” William pulled his foot underneath Will’s armpit and trapped the ankle in his armpit almost like a chokehold. Then, he started skittering his fingers on Henry’s vulnerable arch.

“eeEEEHEHEHEHAHAhahahaha! WAHAHAhahahahait nohoHOHOHOhoho!” Henry yelled-] 

“Hee…he he- How do you even-” Mario attempted to read it outloud, but was really struggling.

“OHgodno-” Luigi reacted behind him, his voice wobbling and cracking. 

“How do you even read this?!” Mario asked, letting out a laugh before continuing to read it to himself. 

[“Lehehet me gohohohohoho!” He begged-] 

“What…” Mario turned around to look at Luigi. “Is…this William guy supposed to be tickling Henry?” Mario asked. 

Luigi squeaked as he felt his face go more red from both hearing the word, AND hearing the tiny explanation of the fanfiction. 

Mario couldn’t help the small smile that was on his face. “And just to clarify, this is supposed to be laughter?” Mario asked, pointing to the dialogue he had just read. 

Luigi only whined in response. He was hoping and praying this was just an awful nightmare he could wake up from…But he wasn’t waking up no matter how much he pinched his own leg. Mario knew…Mario had found out, and now he was going to NEVER let him live this down! 

Mario chuckled and scrolled up to the top of the story. “Go Home, Will!…by TrashySwitch…” Mario read. “What is a TrashySwitch?” Mario asked. “Is her switch console so broken that she had to name her profile after it?” Mario asked with a laugh.

Luigi whined and covered his face with his hands. This can’t be happening. This CAN’T BE HAPPENING! PLEEEASE LET THIS BE A STUPID DREAM! PLEEEEASE!

“Hashtag it’s the working life for me, hashtag childish Henry Emily, hashtag childish William Afton slash Dave Miller, hashtag bad parent William Afton slash Dave Miller, hashtag only a small bit tho- This is just fanfiction!” Mario reacted. 

Luigi whined and groaned, shifting his feet that were currently under the covers. 

Mario widened his eyes and looked at Luigi with shock, before bursting out laughing. “YOU READ FANFICTIONS?!” Mario shouted, laughing again. “I THOUGHT YOU READ SHORT STORIES?!” Mario reacted. 

Luigi let out a long, painful groan. He knew this was only the beginning of the end for himself. This was going to be the first of millions of teases specifically about this, that will leave Mario’s mouth. 

Mario raised an eyebrow as he looked back at the hashtags. “Hashtag pranks and practical jokes, hashtag…tickle…fic-” 

Mario heard yet another whine leave his brother’s mouth. Unfortunately, that whine would only confirm everything. Luigi was not only reading fanfiction…He was reading fanfiction specifically about tickling. “W-Wait…” Mario said, scrolling down a bit more and reading through bits of the story really quickly. 

[“WhahahahAHAHAHAT?!” Henry reacted, squealing as the tickling doubled for him.

“You heard me.” William replied. “Did you want to be tickled?” William asked as he moved his fingers up to the top sole of his foot. 

“WHOHOHO TOHOHOLD YOHOHOU THAHAT?!” Henry asked.]

Mario blinked. “Did…Did this Henry guy just admit to wanting to be tickled?” Mario asked. 

Luigi whined and mumbled something. 

Mario raised an eyebrow. “You’re gonna have to speak up, or remove your hands from your face. I can’t understand you at all right now.” Mario said, attempting to grab Luigi’s hand. But Luigi’s hands were so tight against his face at the moment. Mario tilted his head, filled with enough confusion to last a lifetime. He clicked the name of the writer, and watched as it opened up to the profile. He hoped that the profile would help fill in some dots. Mario took a moment to look at the profile picture, before looking at the dashboard. 

“Hi there! I’m TrashySwitch! You can call me T.S, or Pocket if you want to.” Mario started to read out loud.

WaiT- WHAT?! 

“NonononoNONO-” Luigi reacted, getting up and reaching out for his phone. “PLEASESTOP!” Luigi begged. 

Mario pulled the phone back, keeping it out of Luigi’s reach. “Nuh uh!” Mario started pushing Luigi down by his chest with his hand. “You can’t just take the phone and not fill in all the details.” Mario reacted. “So you can either let me read this, or fill in the details yourself.” Mario told him. Luigi stared at him with shock and fear. Those were his choices?! Either explain everything himself, or let Mario read it?! Luigi stuttered for a few moments, before reaching down and grabbing the comforter, covering himself with it as fast as he could. 

Mario chuckled at the overdramatic reaction before continuing to read the profile description. “I’m a touch starved switch who is 70% Ler, 30% Lee. And I spend my time entertaining the moods by doing one of my passions: Writing fan-fiction! I am an SFW (Straight Fuckin' Water! XD) writer who mostly writes fluff and the occasional angst/comfort.” Mario read outloud. 

Luigi let out another audible whine. No no no no no…Please stop…Pleeeease stop…

“Wait…‘mostly writes fluff’…” Mario looked at the blanket, and grew the biggest smile on his face when he heard a whine from Luigi. “Oh my god- these tickling fanfictions are actually the fluffy stories you’ve been reading.” Mario reacted. “These are the stories that make your face light up so much!” Mario reacted, laughing a bit. 

Luigi shuffled around under the blanket, and groaned. Great…Now he knows…HE FREAKING KNOWS NOW. ALL BECAUSE HE LET HIS GUARD DOWN ONE SINGLE TIME- 

“So Ticklefic…Tickle fanfiction?” Mario asked aloud. “Fanfictions specifically about tickling?”

Luigi squeaked and wiggled his socked feet helplessly. 

Mario smiled a slight bit. The man then put the phone down and attempted to pull the blanket off Luigi. “Okay, you have a lot of explaining to do.” Mario told him. 

Luigi squeaked and gripped the blanket harder, absolutely refusing to let Mario rip it off him. “NonononoNO!” Luigi yelled, terrified to show his disgraceful face to his brother. 

“What’s a lee? What’s a LER?! What is a SWITCH?!” Mario reacted. “Who is this ‘TrashySwitch’ person? And why is this person writing fanfictions with tickle fights as the theme?!” Mario asked. “Do you know them?!” 

Luigi groaned and attempted to kick Mario with his feet still under the covers. “Leheheave me ALONE!” Luigi yelled, pulling the cover off his own face so he could breathe cold air. 

Mario dropped his jaw as he saw how red his brother was. And this wasn’t the same embarrassed color of redness that occurred earlier today, or in the past week…this was double, almost triple the embarrassment! 

This was full-on humiliation! 

Luigi whined and covered himself with his blanket yet again, already feeling silently judged by his brother. He was both whining, and giggling all at the same time. It was…both hilarious, and…almost sad to see…

Mario began to feel really bad for pushing Luigi to the breaking point. But…

Mario gently placed the phone right near the comforter opening. Luigi reached his hand out, grabbed it, and pulled it in under the blanket. Mario couldn’t help the little laugh that left his own mouth just from seeing that. He looked like a vampire getting his blade, or Golem getting his precious ring. 

Mario then grabbed the comforter and went under the covers with Luigi. Luigi squeaked and covered his face shallowly with his hands so he didn’t have to look at Mario face-to-face. Mario only smiled and tried to think of how to continue this conversation. “So…” Mario started with a small smirk. 

Luigi shook his head. “Don’tsayit…pleasedon’t…” Luigi muttered. 

Mario raised an eyebrow. “Lee?” Mario said. 

Luigi squeaked, whining and giggling at the same time. 

“Ler?” Mario said next. 

Luigi whined amidst his giggles, now kicking his feet lightly. 

“TrashySwitch?” Mario asked. 

Luigi visibly tensed up as he waited for the inevitable to happen…

“...Tickle?” Mario asked. 

Luigi squeaked as his giggles went up another level, and turned himself around so his back was towards his evil brother. 

Mario’s smirk only widened as he finally got the reaction he was looking for. “...Tickle tickle.” Mario started to smile somewhat evilly. 

“MARIOSHUHUHUSH.” Luigi whined, turning back around to face Mario and pushing his shoulder. 

“Ohoh my gosh, I’ve never seen you this embarrassed before!” Mario reacted. “Just the word tickle can make you react like this?!” Mario asked. 

“N-No-” 

“Tickle tickle tickle~” Mario teased. 

Luigi shrieked and covered his face again, accidentally letting out a snort. 

“Holy merda…Is this what a lee mood is?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi snorted as he nodded his head. “Yeheheah.” 

“How long has this been going on?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi groaned and very slowly uncovered his face. “A year and a hahahalf…” Luigi admitted. 

Mario dropped his jaw. “A YEAR AND A-” “I KNOW, SHUTUP!” Luigi yelled, covering his face again. 

Mario bursted out laughing at him, absolutely loving this new fact. “This person has been writing tickle-themed fanfictions for a year and a half?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi widened his eyes and slowly opened his phone. On AO3, he looked at the join day. “...Shehehehe hahad been for 3 and a half years…” Luigi admitted. 

“HOLY-” Mario dropped his jaw. “HOW MANY ARE THERE?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi whined and giggled helplessly. “Uhuhuhhhh…” He looked at the ‘Works’ area. “377…” Luigi admitted.

“Three  hundred and seventy seven?!” Mario reacted. “That’s- THAT’S-” Mario attempted to do math in his head. There are 365 days in a year…730 days in two years…and 1095 days in 3 years.” Mario said. “So…Type this in the calculator.” Mario thought for a moment. “1095 divided by 377.” Mario said.

Luigi bit his lip and put it into the calculator on his phone. “She…uploaded a fanfic every 2.9 days.” Luigi told him. 

“THAT’S INSANE!” Mario shouted. 

“I KNOW!” Luigi yelled back, a small smile on his face. 

Mario chuckled awkwardly as he tried to wrap his head around this new thing. “So…People like tickling so much that they write stories about it?!” Mario reacted. “And…my brother of all people, has been reading these stories a couple feet away from me without a second thought, for a year and a half now?!” Mario added. 

Luigi looked at Mario, before looking down again. 

Mario began to remember the little area that he read from the story. 

[“You heard me.” William replied. “Did you want to be tickled?” William asked as he moved his fingers up to the top sole of his foot. 

“WHOHOHO TOHOHOLD YOHOHOU THAHAT?!” Henry asked.]

Mario started to think out loud. “If she’s writing tickling fanfictions because she enjoys it…and you’re reading it…” Mario suddenly gasped and widened his eyes, before looking at Luigi. “Then does this mean you enjoy being tickled too?” Mario asked, smirking. 

Luigi widened his eyes and groaned. 

“So you read these tickle fanfictions because…you want it to happen?” Mario asked.

Luigi whined a slight bit…before nodding his head.

Mario stared at Luigi for a moment…before quickly thinking back to what happened earlier that week. “So…when Peach was tickling me and she threatened to tickle you if you tried to save me…” Mario started to explain. 

Luigi looked down, smiling slightly as he scratched the back of his own head. “Uhhhhh…” 

“You weren’t actually scared of her threat, because…you like it? And wanted it to happen?” Mario clarified. 

Luigi groaned and started giggling in embarrassment all over again. “Mahahahaybeheheee…” Luigi mumbled. 

Mario raised his eyebrows, before going back to thinking. “Okay…and when you went from ‘confident tickle monster’ to not even being able to say the word…was that real?! Were you actually struggling to say the word?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi squealed and covered his mouth. 

“Oho my god!” Mario reacted.  “And…And when you used to annoy Dad so he would become the tickle monster…you actually enjoyed that?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi paused for a moment and began to think. He wasn’t really able to remember his own thought process when he was doing that. Truth was, he didn’t even remember doing such a thing. But…now it made sense that he would. 

“Ihihi guehess sohohoho.” Luigi replied awkwardly. 

Mario widened his eyes. “Holy- That’s crazy!” Mario reacted. “So not only do you like it when people tickle you, you also love when people tease you!” Mario clarified.

Luigi whined a slight bit…before nodding his head. “But…only people I t-trust.” Luigi added. 

Mario quickly kicked the blanket off the two of them, scaring Luigi in the process. Mario then pulled Luigi into his arms. “Then what are we even waiting for?!” Mario declared, drilling into his hips. 

“eeEEEEEEEK!” Luigi screeched, grabbing Mario’s wrists as he howled with newfound laughter. He knew Mario was going to react. He knew it was going to either make or break his relationship with his brother. But…telling him actually rewarded him with tickles?! AND TICKLES TO THE HIPS OF ALL THINGS?! 

If that was the case, then WHY DIDN’T HE TELL MARIO SOONER?! This was FANTASTIC! TICKLE ME! TICKLE ME ALL YOU WANT, MARIO! DO IT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! 

“Oh!” Mario tweaked his sides occasionally in the middle of tickling his hips. “And don’t think that just because you’re being tickled, you’re done talking. This conversation is far from over.” Mario declared. 

……..Ohno…..

[ofstoriesandstardust]

it's a good thing we're each other's kind of crazy (j.c.m.)

a/n: this was an inspired by an ask. this song is their anthem and i love them dearly gahhh

summary: Rebel and Coyote find themselves in Vegas. Chaos ensues (as it usually does with them).

title comes kelsea ballerini's "if you go down (i'm going down too)"

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse

warnings: Rooster's a little shit, Rebel's just along for the ride, dialogue heavy, this was just for shits and giggles

word count: 1.3k

Your phone rings on the countertop, and you grab it as you flip the burner off. "Hello?"

"Do you want to go to Vegas?"

You frown, putting the phone between your ear and shoulder as you spoon the SpongeBob-shaped mac and cheese into a bowl. "I'm down. When?"

"Right now."

You're grateful you're only just pulling a fork out of the drawer to eat, otherwise you might've choked.

"Come again?"

"Do you want to go to Vegas with me? Like, right now. Like we would have to leave right now."

"Coyote, what the hell..." You mutter, glancing out the kitchen window. "What did you do?"

"Well, I was looking at ticket prices for Jake and I to go to Savannah and well... a few wrong clicks..."

"Coyote." You say firmly, as he notices your presence in the kitchen window from his car.

"I bought 38 dollar tickets to Vegas."

"Come inside."

"There's no time, we have to leave."

"Am I packing a bag for this?"

"No, we fly back in at 3 tomorrow."

"Did you book a hotel room?"

The silence on the other end clues you in.

"Machado, were you really just planning on buying these tickets, me saying yes, pulling an all-nighter in Vegas, and coming back tomorrow?"

"...Yes?" He sighs. "Are you gonna say no?"

A laugh escapes your mouth. "Oh hell no, I'm taking you to that restaurant in Caesar's Palace that only sells chocolate."

The grin can be heard through his tone. "You have five minutes."

-

You plop the giant bag of M&Ms on the end as Coyote groans, falling face-first into the bed. "This was fun." He says, words muffled into the comforter. "I'm proud of us for seeing everything Vegas has to offer that's not a casino."

"You brought me with you, what did you expect?"

He chuckles, pushing up from the bed. "What time is it?"

After traipsing around Vegas all day, going on the roller coaster at the New York New York, eating buffet food in the Paris hotel, going to the M&M Factory, spending at least three hours wandering around Caesar's Palace, going on gondola rides at The Venetian, seeing the water show at the Bellagio, and scoring last minute tickets to The Beatles Cirque de Soleil show at The Mirage, you were beat.

Thankfully, you knew better than Coyote in trying to pull an all-nighter in Vegas. After the show, you'd wandered down to the front-desk of The Mirage, where you'd sweet talked the girl working at the front-desk to lower the rate for a room and before you and Coyote knew it, you were unlocking the door to the suite with the singular king-sized bed.

You hum, cranning your eyes to the digital clock on the nightstand. "Just after two."

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, tossing it on the bed. "Can I charge my phone?"

You scoff, pulling the charger from your purse. You move toward the wall, plugging the device in before plopping down on the bed. "The phone charger gets to be used by the person who was smart enough to bring it. You almost forgot your wallet."

He huffs, tossing you a look. "Fine. I'm gonna shower."

"K. I want room service, do you want anything?"

His face lights up as his hands fall to his hips. You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing, realizing just how drunk he is.

He'd taken advantage of the drinks to your seats, that was for sure.

"Um, fries. Ooo, and nachos. And a hot dog."

You snort. "I'll see what they have."

He nods before slipping into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The sound of the water running sounds as your phone lights up and you squint from the bright white. You turn away, picking up the phone to call for room service, knowing it'll be a minute before the phone loads.

As you order, you glance down, squinting at the different text messages.

Bradley 🐓

Hey, just checking in. Where are you?

Hey, Hangman can't get a hold of Coyote. Are you with him?

...What did you do? 🤨

There's quite a few from Hangman, along with some others from your team. All wondering where you are. Some are more nervous than others, and some (Amelia) are giving you play-by-plays of Hangman's mental spiral. You frown, standing up from the bed to knock on the bathroom door. "Hey Coyote?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you tell Hangman we were coming to Vegas?"

"No, why?"

You groan, shaking your head as you slide across the bed for your phone. You call Rooster first, knowing he's going to be the one you want to be in contact with.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hi honey." He says brightly, and in the background you can hear the chatter of your friends. "I assume your phone died?"

"Yeah, Coyote's too."

He hums and you can hear him open the fridge. "I figured. Hey, everyone's at the house, just so you know for when the two of you get back."

"Yeah, about that..." You sigh, rubbing your temple. "I'm in Vegas."

It's silent for a minute, and you cringe, afraid of what he might say before a laugh bubbles out from the other end. "What the fuck? How?"

"Coyote found 38 dollar tickets to Vegas. We fly back in tomorrow at 3. How could I say no?" You sigh again. ""M sorry I didn't give you a heads up. I totally spaced it in the chaos. We got off the plane and then never sat back down."

His laughter continues. "Oh honey, don't apologize. I figured your phone was just dead. Any lingering resentment will be forgiven in tacky souvenirs you bring me. You're in Vegas, I'm just glad you're having a good time."

You chuckle, hearing the shower turn off. "Is Dad worried?"

"Nah, he's out on that sailing trip with Penny for the long weekend, remember?"

"Oh yeah." You say with a nod, even though he can't see it.

"Bagman, on the other hand..."

"Shit, I should call Jake." You say, pulling the phone away from your ear to call the blond.

"No!" Rooster says immediately, causing you to pause. "I wanna have some fun with this."

You sigh. "Bradley..."

-

He walks out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Hangman looks back up at him, eyes wide. "Anything?"

He shakes his head.

"Bagman, he's with Rebel. He's in good hands." Payback tries to reason.

"That does not make me feel better!" Hangman nearly shouts.

"Maybe they ran away to Vegas and got married." He says, sitting back down in his seat. Jake grows paler, eyes like saucers.

"You think?" He hesitates, shaking his head. "No, they wouldn't. You- If they did, you'd be freaking out."

He shrugs, taking a sip of the beer he'd grabbed from the fridge. "Maybe I just made my peace with it."

Hangman huffs. "You're funny, Bradshaw, real funny."

"I'm not kidding."

Hangman frowns. "Did they really?"

He shrugs again, just watching the man, who gazes back uneasily. It's quiet in the room for a minute as he grows more concerned before Hangman's phone rings. The blond scrambles for it, eyes wide as he answers it.

"Rebel, are you okay? Where are you?"

Hangman has the phone on speaker, so he catches that it's not his girlfriend on the phone but rather Coyote. "Hey Jake."

"You. Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh, so she gets concern but I just get anger?"

"Did you fucking run away to Vegas to marry your best friend? Because honestly Javy, I thought more of you."

"Jake, what the are you talking about?" Your phone sounds from over the phone, shifting from the other side of the phone call. "I mean we are in Vegas, but I literally just made Javy go to like seven different restaurants with me. I told Bradley that."

Hangman gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish before he settles on anger, turning on his heel, face stony.

"Bradshaw."

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

@bootlegfrank tagged me and @septiccoffeefreak - who shares this post w me because we're writing partners >:3 (frank tagged us indirectly. and then directly because i responded saying i was gonna do it. so in-indirect-diretly(??))

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern. I also said where each one is from in case u don't wanna scroll through our ao3 and do the math urself!!!

all these fics except one r RPF, sooo BE WARNED. i'm putting everything under da cut, and i'm also putting my reblog banner since fanfiction!!! is!!! art!!!

Seán’s about ready to burn his entire calendar.

from "Scheduling Conflicts and How To Cope - A Guide For The Busy Homosexual"

Tommy hates LA with every fiber of his being.

from "City Of Angels"

it's cold, and it hurts.

from "The Part Where it Gets Better (Lads rescue AU)", and also THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT LIKE WHAT'S COLD??? it's water. the water is cold. this is the character based one btw. WE FOUND IT, THE NON-RPF!!!

Tommy inspects Seán’s behelit tattoo carefully, running his thumb over it a little, then kisses it.

I fucking would. kissing all his tattoos right now. mwah. this goddamn MOOD is from "There's No Place Like Home"

Ethan N3st0r was not expecting Seán to still be awake at three AM, even though with jet lag considered, he really fuckin should have.

I censored the name for search but it's not like that in the fic, that's just for tumblr. anyway, from "Three Drabbles In Which Tommy and Seán are bad at Keeping Secrets"

Ethan's the one to bring it up first, on Brain Leak, of all things.

OPENING WITH ETHAN AGAIN LMAOO. this is from "And Suddenly, It Makes Sense."

"So, who would have thought, huh? T0mmy1nn1t and Jacks3pt1c3y3, famous YouTubers, passed away in their sleep on the same night."

censored for tumblr again. from "Count your Soulmates- There's only one."

Seán and Tommy have sleepovers sometimes.

from "kissing practice". very original opening line /sar /lh (also tbh i feel awful about em being evil in this one :( I know its fanfic and i can do whatever I want but like. idk. i'm not accusing em of being mean IRL okay??? OKAY))

Seán spends about fifteen minutes pacing and staring at himself in the mirror, doing breathing exercises his therapist taught him and trying not to rub or scratch his wrists too much.

from "Puppy Love", the closest we've ever gotten to full misce posting on main

They were gluing ducks to a jeep the first time it happened.

FROM "PETNAMES" AND ALSO THE BEST OPENING LINE EVER

INTERPRETATION TIME!!!!

soooo yeah!!! we like to jump right into action as well but I think it's safe to say our autistic ass habits of giving exposition for everything lead to the specific outcome of starting in the middle of a scene, WITH an explanation of the scene. like we're already in the middle of something going on but also sometimes it's exposition at the same time somehow?? or like right after these first lines. idk maybe that's just me????

the way it's usually less (character does this) and more (character does this BECAUSE ____ // character is doing this and FEELING ____) feels like it's trying to give context, to me. but again idk maybe just me

TIME FOR SEÁN'S READING:

@septiccoffeefreak - "What I'm noticing here is more along the lines of just, how we almost always seem to open with a person. Usually by their actual name(s) too and not just a pronoun. I understand what you mean, Tommy, but I don't personally get that vibe? You could totally be right, of course, I just don't pick up on that. I defenitely notice, though, just how many of these are sentences where the literal first word is a name. the two exceptions to that are the pronoun "they" (which is still a person- or two people actually), and then water.

I guess the dialogue could also be considered an exception, but I don't think it counts since it also directly references us as characters.

and that's not something you necessarily have to do. You could open describing scenery or objects, or with dialogue that DOESN'T have the names of the characters in it- you could open with wind through a blade of grass or a character cursing under their breath or someone's cellphone crashing to the pavement or something. So it's definitely an "us" thing, it's a quirk of our writing style and not just normal writing. I don't know if like, we ALWAYS do this, but I do know that in these ten fics you pulled we do. I wouldn't be surprised if we did it like literally all the time as well, but I'm not going to pretend to know every first line we've ever penned to paper. or...print?? I don't fucking know, here, I'm just analyzing sentences on the internet for a tagging project.

Sorry if this ramble is kind of long, I hope it's at least interesting though??? sort of interesting? kind of interesting, in it's own way, hopefully. at least mildly, like a video you didn't turn on but aren't really reaching for the mouse/remote on to change it. You know?? Yeah. Like that. Or more interesting then that, hopefully. Thanks for uh, reading or, whatever, listening if you have a screen reader i guess, I'm getting nervous and it's very obvious because i'm rambling so I'm gonna hand things back off to the birthday boy, Toms. wish Tommo a happy birthday or I swear to fucking god your liver will be missing in the morning and you'll find it at the bottom of your morning cup of coffee."

back to me:

LMAO

wow omg i love my babygirl,,,, that made me laugh >:p

ANYWAYS. i didn't notice that!! oh em gee,,,,, name moment.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS TOO AND SEE IF YOUUUU SEE ANYTHING!!!!!

I'M TAGGING @kalcifers-blog AND.... no one else because all my other mutuals who i know for a fact write have paused as far as i'm aware, bc they're into mcyt RPF like I am and the w1lbvr situation put them on hiatus. and i don't know if any of them are back to feeling up to writing stuff.

I don't write about w1bvr ever and didn't watch him so I wasn't that affected but a lot of people were even if they just watched so like... Kalcie ur alone on here i'm SO SORRIE. ALSO this is /nf so u don't have to if u dont want to :p :3 >:D :000 >:PPPP :000 >:00

[lhs3020b]

Arrival - an analysis

As I was working through the DLCs for ME2 tonight, I got to thinking about the odd lack of drama that "Arrival" has.

A couple of thoughts below the cut, in no particular order...

I think the first problem with Arrival is the oddness of it. The lack of your usual squad is a bit strange - while it makes some sense in the context of infiltration, it still doesn't make very much sense. On re-playing the DLC I felt like there was a slightly not-quite-real feeling to it, like this was somehow not quite part of "Mass Effect proper", and I think the root of that was the lack of the squad.

Then there's the inconsistencies between how Aratoht is described in the Codex and what it looks like. The Codex describes an uninhabitable planet in the very early stages of terraforming; the visuals show a terrestrial world with an advanced ecology, normal atmosphere and weather. This incongruity, for me at least, added to the faint air of unreality.

The other issue with Arrival is perhaps a "structural" one. While re-playing it, I noticed that it lurches constantly between small-ish cutscenes, and these felt like they disrupted the flow of the action. Particularly later into the DLC, I actually felt a little irritated with some of them as it felt like they were obstructing doing things. The narrative felt oddly heavy-handed - there was a lot of Shepard talking to herself. Normally a lot of this would happen in more "organic" dialogue between Shepard, the squadmates and any NPCs, but aside from a few conversations with Kenson, Arrival has none of that.

Then there's the absence of any meaningful moral choice. You can't not fire up the engines on the asteroid. The closest you get to a choice is whether to warn the colony, and if you try, Kenson interrupts the broadcast, rendering it utterly moot. If you have no choice, then you have no agency, and if you have no agency, what reason do you have to care about the results?

(I am aware that very technically it is possible to run the clock down on Arrival and get a spectacularly non-standard game-over that way, so I suppose there is an element of choice there ... but how many Shepards are really going to stand there for half an hour on a random asteroid, doing nothing, while the clock ticks down to the Arrival?)

There's also the slightly-demotivating aspect of the denouement itself, which forces you to be personally-responsible for nearly a third of a million civilian deaths ... and then the game basically does nothing with it. You can express a bit of emotional frustration while talking to Hackett at the end, but that's basically it. "Hi, I'm a mass murderer and I'm supremely-unbothered by any of this." If the character is clearly feeling nothing, why should the player?

I think the last slightly-off element to Arrival is the brief conversation with Harbinger. The dark majesty that Sovereign had just isn't there. Harbinger rants at you for a bit, then pretty much throws a tantrum and rage-quits the comm-call. It's not awe-inspiring, it's not terrifying, it's not moving - rather, it's mildly-irritating. You're a giant aeons-old alien warship from outside the galaxy and the best burn you can manage is some wibbling about "dust on cosmic winds"? Really, Harbinger? Really?

I wasn't expecting an actual Reaper to - literally! - phone it in!

I think Arrival ends up presaging a problem that was rampant in ME3. The build-up to the conclusion was mostly-OK (with reservations) but the denouement was lacking. And that's a pattern that we saw regularly in ME3, all the way to the infamous endings.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

hello hello, just wanna start by saying how i love your work so much, ive yet to read any of your works that i just didnt absolutely love and enjoy.

this might be a different ask than you usually get, but i wanna start getting into writing fanfics as a side hobby for funsies but i dont know where to start. iv noticed your characterization/ character analysis is usually spot on, like i would be reading some of your fics and then id be like “that is lore accurate x character” or “x character would 100% do that” or atleast in my opinion. can i ask what proccess (if there is any) u go through in order to flesh out a character and understand them to be comfortable enough to write them in different scenarios or different AUs?

its alright if u dont accept these kind of requests, but i was super curious so i thought i might ask anyway. Learn from the best they say ;) , but anyways thanks alot in advance and ty for blessing us with those fics, reading them brings me lots of joy :D

Aw, Anon, thank you so much!! This genuinely made me smile! I'm really happy you enjoy my writing! Thank you so much for all your kind words! 🩷

I wish I had one specific process I went through, that I could simply suggest, but really, this is just something that came with a lot of practice, for me. I've been writing for years (long since before I even made earthquake - I have so many unposted works gathering dust, it's laughable!) and the longer I write, the more natural these things come to me.

This is specifically for dialogue, but here's what I still do sometimes. When I write a character I've never written before, I often study a lot what they sound like - rewatch quests their in, listen to all their voice lines. And when I start to write them, at least in the beginning, I try to hear every line of dialogue I write in their voice. And I ask myself "Does this line sound right in Tighnari's voice? Can I imagine this being spoken in Kazuha's soft tone? Would this work in Lyney's voice?" If I can easily hear the line I've written in that character's voice, then it means I'm doing it right. If it sounds out of place, I should probably tweak it. And of course the more you write a character, the more you start to get a feel for them and the more naturally their speech patterns and mannerisms come to you.

I know this doesn't nearly cover everything, but like I said, there isn't really a straightforward way to learn any of this. For me at least, the best way to learn was to jump in and start to write - even if my first few works were atrocious, haha!

I wish you luck on your writing journey, anon! May you have tons of fun with it! And thank you so much again for all your compliments and kind words 🩷

[the12thnightproject]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

@msviolacea tagged me here (read the questions and answers, but it's a longer post, so am copying the questions).

Were you named after anyone?

Actually, I was named "in honor of" my great-grandmother, whose name turned out to be double alliterative with my surname, so my parents then chose a different first name. My middle name was in honor of my other great-grandmother (and again they modernized the name, although in that case, I wish they hadn't, because "Lena" would have been a much more interesting middle name than "Lynn" which is what they ended up with.

When was the last time you cried?

Within the last week.... family tsuris.

Do you have kids?

Nope.

Do you use sarcasm?

it is my factory default setting.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I have a terrible memory for faces, seriously awful, and I almost need to meet people three times before I can call their image to mind and match a name to it. Therefore, what I always do is try to find a unique feature that will help me remember them. So, it varies.

What’s your eye colour?

Brown.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. Not a fan of scary.

Any special talents?

Writing, I guess. If you go with less than usual talents, I have a really good auditory memory (better than my reading memory), and am pretty good at identifying people by their voices (probably a compensation for the terrible face memory), songs by the first few notes, dialogue from movies.

Where were you born?

Somewhere in the continental U.S. is as much as I am prepared to reveal.

What are your hobbies?

Reading, photography, walking, writing, video games, movies, ice skating (though... it's been a while).

Have any pets?

Two cats and they hate each other.

What sports do/have you played?

My parents, being of the opinion that their kids should always be busy and have hobbies, signed me up for every recreational sport available in my town - that included softball, floor hockey, horseback riding, swimming, golf, and tennis. I was terrible at ALL of them. As an adult, I learned how to figure skate, and was oddly not terrible at it (granted, I wasn't good either, but I did pass up through ISI 4 freestyle, and could land all the single jumps except the axel).

How tall are you?

On the shorter end of average.

Favorite subject at school?

English and journalism ... I liked history a lot, but all of the history teachers were just the sports coaches marking time until practice after school, so my history education tended to be self-motivated.

Dream Job?

Working screenwriter or television writer.

Now for the 15 tags .... only if you want to, no pressure:

@mllorei @bestbryn @selenacosmic @lyds323 @fighting-and-drawing @tele86 @ikeromantic @arrthurpendragon @venulus @violettduchess @katriniac @iphigeniainaulis @scorchieart @queengiuliettafirstlady

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 10: His Name Is Judar [Part 1]

UGO-KUN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

>:O

Markkio's voice sounds so creepy. Good fit.

I like to think myself a creative person, but then something very simple will turn out to be beyond me. I usually use "Idiot King" cuz how else do you translate it? Well, "His Stupidity" for one. Not a bad choice at all.

This bitch has no reason looking this pretty.

"Yo, I'm here."

D:<

Also, I love how they all got so dumbfounded by Judar's appearance that they forgot to resist (Alibaba) or stop him from resisting (the guards). It was like, wait a second, we were doing something here, weren't we?

Ahbmad, you dumb bitch.

RIP

I SWEAR the Moon is always full

Despair

Small thing, but the fact that Alibaba still refers to Ahbmad as his older brother.

Aladdin, you are a blessing when you aren't awful to women.

Mood

Ok, that's different. Here Ja'far say that Sin will announce the results, while in the manga it was "Sin said we will announce the results"

On a different note, I haven't noticed Masrur previously, but it looks kinda funny. Man, how tall is that guy. Or maybe how small are these doors?

Ok but

Listen-

(I couldn't find a better pic, I'd have had to rewatch the movie)

Ok, jokes aside, here it's definitely Sinbad speaking. In the manga, again, it's hard to say who it is, though I've wanted to assume this part about the negotiations falling is said by Alibaba. But I don't know. I'd have probably needed to, idk, know Japanese & read in the og language to see if there are some differences in the way they talk (cuz I assume there are), but based on a translation it's a little harder to say.

Ok, again, WHY are they changing the dialogue so much? Here Sinbad is like "the negotiations have failed, which is why we gotta fight the military now" like, bro. First of all, that makes his entire "I make a point not to get involved in other countries interanal affairs" even more of a joke than it already was, and second, he's literally instigating the goddamn rebellion here. The show, ironically, portrays him to act the exact smae way goddamn Al-Thamen does, only he's "on the right side". Sure, it's kinda fun, given what happens later, but this sort of behavior should've raised red flags since the day one?? Hell, if not Alibaba, then ALADDIN should've been able to tell, given he could see the resemblance between what Balbadd & the Kouga Clan are going through. Ugh

"Up until now you could've only fight them as a band of thieves, but now you can't fight them like equals."

I really, really don't like these changes.

In the manga it's Aladdin and Alibaba who comment that Sinbad is amazing & yeah, that's a king for you. Here it's some random citizens.

Also, Alibaba looks so sad in the anime? In the manga he clearly admires Sinbad. There might be some sadness there, too, but not on the same level?

Then again, here these ppl are also saying how he looks like a real leader, so I guess it could make him feel a bit bad, lol

Hm, I wonder what does that mean

T H E M O ON I S A L W A Y S F U L L

Also, Judar's here

He does look good in here, ngl

The anime just never manages to catch the unhingedness of some of these moments smh He doesn't look like a madman, he just looks like a regular weirdo who thinks war is neat.

But damn if his VA isn't awesome

I wanted to focus on this moment, then I noticed Alibaba dissociating

Ja'far on the left 100% ready to cut the bitch, I tell you. It's that empty stare

Not suspicious at all

[rubyreduji]

I WAS GONNA PUT MY THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS BUT IT WAS TOO FUCKING LONG

right off the bat: i am OBSESSED with the way you use words (which you know) but your descriptions are so in depth and add such a good layer to the story, it's little stuff but it really changes the feel of the work

"you're nine years old and native but you are not dense" DAMN hit hard ngl

the reader is SO REAL OMG, mika one thing about you your readers will be the realest

EMAILS EXIST LMFAOOOOO

the reader's inner monologue is so funny

i still think josh's nickname for the reader should have been peasant

jihoon just existing lol

the little nuances of people judging the reader and her noticing, but not letting it get to her is so sfjdalkkl ARGH IT SO SAD BUT

and then her thinking about her past and then getting upset abot thinking about it

mika your brain is so hot

"this man is so weird" yeah <3

the friendships between seokmin and joshua andn seokmin and the reader are so cute

PERCY JACKSON REFERENCE OMG

the scene where the reader has to go back to the greenhouse and you write down a few paragraphs of her emotions is really nice because its a different pace than the dialogue and it highlights that section

they way you write their personalities and interactions actually pair so well with the background they come from like the thought put into this is gorgeous mika, seriously

i think it's very much a mother thing to do to be able to bring up bad things from the past easily and a very child thing to do to wonder why she can and still hold more of a grudge than the mom, i really like that detail

while we were talking about this fic you said you hoped people picked up on the little things you added and themes and stuff and im gonna be honest my reading comprehension isn't the best but i like the hyacinth motif it brings things more full circle even from the first scene

its also kinda like her past keeps coming up and she can't escape it because it's become such a big part of who she is

on top of all of the other actual themes of hyacinths

maybe im just saying shit tho idk like i said im kinda dumb

"If it is an explosive, you’ll just have to apologize to Jihoon in the afterlife." i laughed

THE PURPLE MOTIFS AS WELL (which tie into the hyacinths litearlly im sdjfksdasdfl MIKA)

NOW HOLD AWWNNNNN i did NOT connect the dots that seokmin was advisor lee's son (because the last name lee in korea is like fucking johnson in america like fsdjkadkfl IM SO SLOW)

but literally the whole description of that scene is heartbreaking and like the line of her being back in her nine year old body broke me

the change from shock to anger is SO GOOD and the emotions come through in your writing like i am feeling it with her

YOUR BEST FRIENDS AHHHHHHH SHE'S NEVE RHAD FRIENDS AND NOW FJSDLKA

i get why she's upset but its not joshua and seokmin's fault and like the whole situation is awful and heartbreaking and unfair

ahhh okay im glad her being upset didn't last too long, usual i'm on the petty train but im not that much of of a dick this time

the sun themes and joshua calling her sunshine like MIKA IM GONNA SOB

"“You’re not your father. I get it.” You get it more than anyone." AHHHHHHHHH

SHIT WAIT THE SUN AND THE HYACINTHS ALSO TIE IN TOGETHER BECAUSE OF APOLLO AND HYACINTHUS FUCK

dude your brain is insane

FUCK FUCK FUCK SHE'S RELIVING HER MOTHER'S PAST AND NOOOOO

THE ANGST THE DSFJKADSFKLKAL the quick pace of the scene between the reader and joshua is great because instead of having time to think they are just in the moment and you are living it with them

MIKA THESE FUCKING SCNES AND DESCRIPTIONS BACK TO BACK I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING CRAZY THEY ARE SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE WORDS BUT LIKE JUST KNOW I AM FREAKING OUT FROM HOW PERFECT YOU ARE

THEY SPENT SO LONG APART AND STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!

SHE GOES BACK TO WORK FOR THEM BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM, LOVE HAS CHANGED HER AND IF I FUCKIGN SOBBED

MIKA!!!!!! I- its fucking beautiful omg i know you put a lot into this work and it paid off its an AMAZING story and it didn't feel lik 26k words like i love it so much you will never not amaze me

ミღ isohel — h. joshua x reader

i·so·hel (noun) a line on a map connecting points having the same duration of sunshine

description. fairytales can be rather misleading, can't they? when you and your mother are ripped away from your life at the castle, you spend over a decade resenting the royalty. so naturally, when you find prince joshua at your doorstep, you’re more than eager to shut the door on him. but as your life takes twists and turns, you happen to find yourself in the arms of a man you never thought you'd have to see again.

genre. slowburn, modern royalty au, angst, fluff tags. prince!joshua, developing relationships, slut shaming, allusions / references to greek mythology, dialogue heavy, implied sex fic playlist w/c. 26.2k a/n. lwk don't like the beginning but i swear it gets better🙄 thank u @cheolhub for beta reading & @jeonghantis & @gyuswhore for reading it over and helping out w this bc i think i was going insane over this story by myself >_< ... i highly suggest listening to the song isohel by eden! it was a major inspiration for this whole story and i think it encapsulates the vibes really well c: hope u enjoy!

The sound of glass shattering isn’t foreign to your ears.

It’s common in the sweltering heat of the summer when the air is hot and sticky. Maids running around to tend to the evenings balls and parties only for the sweat to breach their fingers and suddenly their stack of fine china goes tumbling to the ground.

A bed of hyacinths sits in front of you as you bring up the hose and spray them down, watching through the tinted glass as two male helpers rush to the woman on the ground, quickly helping her clean up the shards of glass.

Turning your attention back to the plants in front of you, you turn the hose off and roll it back into the corner as you skip to the end of the greenhouse where there’s your mother’s desk space. It’s a measly little space but she hardly sits there anyways, always tending to the gardens in the courtyards, leaving the floral and herbal greenhouses under your care while she’s away.

After all, your mother is a gardener and botanist in the Hong palace, and having been a trusted employee for the past half decade since your father passed, she exudes the little privileges of getting to bring her daughter to work.

At least that’s what you think, because you’re only nine years old and naive.

She teaches you well—you’ve only been accompanying her on the weekends when you don’t have school, but you’ve already picked up on how to tell the differences between an infected plant and an unaffected one, the characteristics of a good caterpillar and the characteristics of a bad one, the exact amount you should water each species, and exactly when you should let the vapor run down.

It’s easy work, and you love it.

You love sitting at your mother’s desk and imagining what it’d be like to be her—successful and working in the castle, doing what you love instead of working some stupid nine to five. You love looking out the glass of the greenhouses every few moments when you pause reading your book. You love the rare moments when you get to lay your eyes on one of the members of the royal family walking by.

You’ve started to pick up on their characters in the small frame of time you get to see them when they pass by. The Queen has kind eyes, the King is a bit intimidating, and Prince Joshua … Prince Joshua has soft features you can’t quite read.

“He’s only a year older than you!” one of your friends from school said when you told her that you stayed at the castle during the weekends to help your mother. “You should marry him and become princess!”

You had to push her away and watch her disappointed eyes when you told her that you hardly get to see him for more than ten seconds, even on the rare occasions that he crosses your vision.

The sound of glass shattering isn’t foreign to your ears, but hearing it more than twice in one hour does have some alarms ringing in your head. When you glance back up at the window, time stops.

Your mother is on the ground. Limbs sprawled out with eyes wide in horror, she scrambles against the rough stone path as a man looms over her. He dons a deep purple robe—the kind that belongs to the advisors of the Court—and your young mind races through the possibilities of what warrants the disgusted look on his face.

“Sneaking around with royal blood. Who do you think you are?”

A man watches, dark and brooding from the corner, and then you recognize him. Advisor Lee. He stops by the greenhouses sometimes—a high advisor of the Counsel and distance relative of the King’s. You’re nine years old and naive, but you are not dense.

Something had happened between your mother and Advisor Lee. Something tells you it’s more than you can understand, but in this moment, you feel you understand perfectly.

“You whore,” the man in the dark robes spits out, punctuating his disgust with a stomp of his feet right by your mother’s leg.

You’re only nine years old, but that is old enough to know that that is not a nice word. Nine years old, and you know that that means a very bad thing. Nine years old and when you look at your mother’s grief stricken face, you are certain that everything is about to change.

Your house was always on the edge of the town. Before the affair between Advisor Lee and your mother, it was because she liked having the space to open a garden in your backyard. The city is crowded and full of bustling roads and buildings—it’s no fit for the small cottage that she wanted.

Now, after the affair, your house is on the edge of the town for a different reason.

The first day after your mother is fired from her position at the castle, you go to school with your head hanging low. It’s in the city, and for the first time in your five years of schooling, your mother tells you to go alone.

“I can’t—I shouldn’t drive you anymore,” she tells you as you pack your backpack. She walks you to the bus station and hands you a paper telling you which stop to get off at and how to walk to school from there.

You’re not sure what you’re expecting when you two walk up to the little stop by the street, but when you approach the small crowd of people waiting for the next bus to come in, their chatter hushes. Sparing glances at you and your mother, they whisper—some hushed, some blatant, some sad, some angry.

That’s where she stops and puts a heavy hand on your shoulder. “You can take it from here, yeah?” she asks, but you know it’s not really a question. Nodding, you slowly walk towards the crowd of people as the next bus parks in front of the stop.

You don’t turn around and look at your mother because you know that’d be a mistake. Instead, you let your neck droop, following the quiet crowd as they pile into the bus, clutching the strings of your backpack.

There aren’t any places to sit, so you reach for a pole but suddenly the bus starts and you lurch forward, falling to the ground. There’s black and brown dust on the palms of your hand as you push yourself up, no one saying a word or bothering to help as you keep your head down and grip onto a pole.

The knees of your stockings are dirtied, and it’s the only thing you look at the whole ride, it’s the only thing you look at when you silently take the walk to school, and it’s the only thing you look at when you make your way onto campus.

It’s the whispers again, and as you quietly sink into your normal seat, you hear them louder.

Did you hear about her mother? She isn’t allowed in the castle grounds anymore. What did her mother do? I can’t believe she showed up, I’d be crying at home. I wonder what she’s thinking—

Nothing. You think nothing when your teacher announces that class will be starting. All you focus on is the board and your notebook. You spend your recess and lunch at the school’s library, and as soon as the final bell rings, you scurry off campus and towards the bus station.

It isn’t like the morning—people don’t hush and stare, but nine years old is smart enough to know that it’s because they don’t know you’re your mother’s daughter. There aren’t any empty seats just like the morning but this time, a nice gentleman offers you his spot.

You can tell he isn’t so sure of his decision though, when you finally get off at your stop and you run off to your mother who’s waiting for you by the bench. From the corner of your vision, you watch the man through the bus window, jaw tight and gaze cold as he watches you slip your hand into your mother’s.

Your mother doesn’t talk on the short walk home. She doesn’t ask you about school and she doesn’t ask you about what the other kids said. You figure that she doesn’t need to hear it anyways, and so you purse your lips together.

You have a lot to get used to.

Your life doesn’t change much, and you get used to it.

School days are spent with your head buried in a new book with every break you have. Your time at home is nothing but studying and your mother teaching you how to tend to the garden in your yard.

Soon you are graduating and moving on with your life as you make the transition to college, although you can’t say much changes. You study, you read, and occasionally you commission a project. It’s usually just renovating a citizen’s yard, sometimes it’s designing a public garden, but it’s never anything too serious.

Right now, you’re perched on a wooden stool, elbows leaning on the counter as you swipe your thumb over your tongue to flip the next page of your book. The paper is worn through, soft under your touch as a show for all it’s been through—bought second hand from your boss.

Your boss is a kind old man who happened to be a friend of your late grandfather’s, and when his little bookstore was teetering on the edge of being forgotten, you couldn’t refuse the offer to step in to work.

You’re around halfway through the book when you hear the familiar ringing of the bell above the door, head snapping up only to see your boss at the front door with a few envelopes in one hand, a plastic bag in the other.

“Holding up the fort, I see,” he greets with a low chuckle as you stand up and walk over, taking the bag from his hand to help out.

“As always, Mr. Min,” you reply, setting the bag of books down on the counter. “Are these—”

“They’re your mothers. I was walking by your house this morning and she asked me to take these and add them to our stock, since she said she doesn’t need them anymore.”

“Huh,” you say softly, taking out the various books about plants. “Not sure how big the market for gardening books is anymore, but I’m sure I can add it to our catalog after hours today,” you mutter, setting them on the table behind the register as he places the letters in his hand.

“Your mother also told me to give you this,” he says, his tone an octave lower as he plucks out one the envelopes and hands it to you. You knit your eyebrows together, wiping your dusty hands down on your pants before taking a look at it. “It’s from—”

“The castle,” you whisper, holding the envelope closer to your face to make sure you’re seeing it correctly. “Oh my god—it’s from the castle.”

“Yeah. Must be important if your mom felt the need to send it through me instead of just waiting for you to come home and take a look at it.”

“A-are you sure this is meant for me?” you manage to ask, flipping the envelope over a few times to make sure you read your name correctly.

“Yup,” Mr. Min replies, pointing down at where the intended recipient is listed. Sure enough, it’s your name listed in dark and bold ink in one corner, and then there’s that stupid royal emblem of the sun in the other corner.

Your heart sinks to your stomach at the possibilities of what could be inside, raking your mind for an answer. Was something wrong? Was it about your mother? Or was this just some big mistake?

Dear Madam,

The Hong Royal Counsel wishes to find you well, as we present a request.

Your reputation with your mother’s work as well as the operation of your own gardens throughout the city, along with your academic achievements at our very own Hong University have reached our ears, and we believe you possess the skills required for a special project we have in mind.

You will have the opportunity to lead this project as you please and earn a notable financial sum in payment for your efforts.

Please indicate your acceptance by replying to this letter at your earliest convenience. We eagerly await your response and sincerely hope that you will be able to grace our kingdom with your talent and presence.

Thank you,

Hong Royal Counsel

You don’t have to read the letter more than once before you scoff, tossing the crisp paper and letting it drift down onto the counter before muttering under your breath, “Who do they think they are?” Crumpling the envelope and letter up, you throw it down into the trash can by your chair.

Knocks on your door aren’t normal. The delivery and mailmen know better than to do that, leaving your packages and mail by the doorstep and doing no more than that.

Knocks on your door usually mean Mr. Min is here for something—picking up some of the veggies your mother grew because the store prices are too high, dropping off a book, or indulging in some pleasantries and casual small talk.

It’s eight in the morning when you hear the soft rapping against your front door. Your mom is in the kitchen and your room, right next to the foyer, has walls thin enough to let the sounds through. You’re on your bed though, and it’s comfortable, warm, and it’s too early to be out and about anyways. You’ve just spent the past nine months laboring away at college, so you’re granting yourself these few moments of peace in the morning.

Pressing your head into the pillow, you try to drown out the noise of your mother conversing with Mr. Min this early in the morning. After you hear the door open, there’s a silence and for a moment, you think you’ve succeeded in plugging your ears well enough.

You’re about to smile to yourself and drift back into a heavy sleep before you hear a loud gasp.

It takes a lot to surprise your mother—you’ve come to learn that in recent years. It takes a lot to stun her, to have her gasp as you just heard. Scurrying out of bed, you press your ear against the wall in hopes to catch a glimpse of what’s going on.

All you hear is silence.

It hardly takes a second for you to shove off your blankets and throw yourself into the hallway, rushing towards the foyer where you see your mother standing in front of the open door. She stays unmoving and you wince for a few moments, eyes still adjusting to the morning light as you make your way closer to the door to see what exactly has her so shocked.

And then you catch it: a glint of that wretched, golden sun emblem stitched onto a purple velvet coat.

“What the f—”

Your mother’s hand flies up and grabs your wrist tightly. It’s the first time you see her move, and as she turns around to face you with dark, warning eyes, you press your lips shut as you glance over her shoulder. In front of your doorstep is a man you never thought you’d get to see in person again, not after that day.

Prince Joshua is just as handsome as the tabloids and social media make him out to be, and his presence in your life also seems to be equally infuriating.

“What is he doing here?” you hiss, pulling your mother closer to you so she’s close enough to hear you.

Her eyes are somber, and you silently wonder how she can be so calm, so docile, so—so tame. “They’re here for you,” she whispers, turning her whole body so her back faces the prince.

“What are you talking about? Why would—”

“The letter sent to you from the kingdom. I thought you told me it was a mistake.”

“It was,” you mutter, eyes glancing at Prince Joshua behind her. His gaze is averted, presumably out of respect for the conversation you’re having with your mother right now, but you can’t find it in yourself to appreciate him for it.

“Then why is he asking for your name?”

You gulp anxiously, eyes flickering between your mother’s eyes and the floor. “I don’t know.”

“Talk to him. It must be important,” she orders, walking forward and toward the kitchen and you grab her shoulder quickly.

“Are you kidding me? Why—why would I talk to him? Why would I talk to any of them?” you argue louder than you intended, and your mother swats your hand away sharply.

“They’re royalty,” she says, voice strained with caution.

“And? It’s not medieval times where they actually rule over us so—”

Your mother sighs heavily and then it hits you that no matter how much logic you try to expend, it’d be futile. “Talk to him. It isn’t quite like you have a choice.”

“You of all people shouldn’t put up with this,” you state and the second the words leave your lips, you regret it. Her face hardens and there’s a cold feeling that sinks in your stomach as she frees herself of your grasp and marches away.

You’re left watching her back fade into the rest of your house as your eyes are wide and you’re becoming increasingly aware of the presence of another person behind you. A person who is very important and very famous and very much a representation of all the things you loathe.

Turning on your heel, you don’t bother to push your lips up into a morning grin facing Prince Joshua with tired eyes and frown etched into your mouth. Taking a deep breath, you glance back at your mother who is in a far off room, deciding that whatever he needs to say to you, she doesn’t need to hear.

Slipping on some slippers, you quickly walk out of the house and close the door behind you, putting you right in front of Prince Joshua who waits for you with bright eyes.

“Hi,” he greets, voice airy and light as he takes a few steps back so he can bow, of which you begrudgingly return. “Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, I was just taking care of some work in the area and was told to stop by and talk to you about something.”

He sounds sincere, and his lips curve into a pleasant expression when he speaks, and you wonder if he’s plain stupid playing dumb to save you the humiliation of the situation—a royal prince speaking to the daughter of ���a slut who seduced the royal advisor.’

So unable to decipher anything about his true intentions, you ask bluntly, “Is it about the letter I got from the kingdom two weeks ago?”

Prince Joshua chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and you catch the fancy white fabric of his buttoned up shirt underneath the coat. “I mean, yes it is and—”

You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “Why do you guys even bother sending letters? It’s the 21st century, you know? Emails exist.”

His face reddens, looking away before pursing his lips together. “Some things are just kept out of tradition,” Prince Joshua reasons quickly. “But I totally understand that, we’ll keep emailing in mind. But for the meantime, that’s, uh, kind of what I’m here for. We didn’t hear back a response, and I would like to take your answer back to the castle for you.

“Isn’t no response enough of a response?”

“Well—”

“My answer is no, if that wasn’t obvious,” you say, turning back to the door. “Is that all?”

“Wait!” he exclaims, grabbing your arm with his white leather gloves. It’s a bit surprising, really—he seems awfully timid for a prince and you’re a bit unnerved by how he hasn’t reprimanded you yet for being disrespectful. “Is there a reason why you don’t want to take on the job? If there are some specifics, maybe we can adjust the arrangement so it’s more to your liking.”

Your eyes widen, bewildered. “What? No I—I don’t care for anything like that, I won’t take the job.”

“Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine,” he mutters under his breath before his eyebrows knit together as he looks at the ground, seemingly trying to figure something out. “Is it the money? We can negotiate your salary,” he offers and you shake your head.

“No, it’s not the money—I don’t care about the money,” you say harshly. “It’s not any of that, I just don’t want to.”

“Can you tell me why? It’s just, I’ll have to report this back to the Counsel and if I’m not able to recruit you, they’d at least want some reasoning for why.”

Inhaling sharply, it takes all your self control to not let your eye twitch and slam the door in his face. “Are you really asking me why I don’t want to?” Pursing your lips together, you glare at him harshly. “You were there that day, weren’t you?” you ask more quietly, and for a moment you see Prince Joshua falter. “Not that I’d expect you to care but surely you can at least understand why I don’t want to.”

“I-I’m sorry, but I really can’t change the past.”

Scoffing, you turn on your heel and open the door. “I’m not asking you to.”

“Wait—just wait a sec’!” he calls out, stopping the door with his palm before you close it. “You’re in your second year at Hong University, right?” He doesn’t wait for a response before he continues. “We’ll pay for the rest of your tuition.”

The air in your lungs seems stuck for a passing moment, and you shake your head to yourself, stepping into your house and turning around one last time with cold eyes and a deep frown. “No.”

The prince looks around hastily before blurting out, “We’ll do all of it!”

“All of what?”

“We’ll pay for all of your tuition—reimburse you for what you’ve already paid.” You don’t care. You shouldn’t care. “All of it, plus your hourly wage,” he adds, and you don’t even have a chance to think before you feel your mother’s hand on your back.

“She’ll do it.”

Your mother chuckles as she helps you tie the lavender colored robe around your waist. You’re not sure what she finds so funny about this, but you bite your tongue when you start to catch on how she ties the ribbons with such ease.

Over ten years of being away from the castle can’t erase the time she spent there, tying her own robe every morning before she was stripped of her title, and in turn, also the life she worked so hard to build up.

As you look down at the smooth fabric sent to you a week earlier from the castle, you’re forced to begrudgingly admire the intricate embroidery. The collar and ribbons are decorated with a darker purple stitching that runs in all sorts of twists and turns and swivels around the curves of your body.

“They’ve made them look nicer since I’ve last seen them,” she thinks out loud, matting her hands down your shoulders to smooth the fabric down one last time before taking a look.

“I don’t understand why you’re still so—” You inhale sharply and press your lips together, warning yourself to not say anything more when she shoots you a cautionary look. “Sorry,” you mutter, turning away so you can glance at yourself in the mirror. You do look pretty nice, if you had to admit.

“Just think about the money,” your mother encourages. “They’re covering the cost of all your schooling—all those days spent at Mr. Min’s can now go towards things you enjoy, rather than paying for your university.”

“I guess,” you grumble, adjusting your hair one last time before grabbing your phone and keys, walking towards the foyer.

“You know the way right?” your mother calls out as you slip on your shoes and walk out onto the front porch.

“I wish I didn’t,” is all you say, low and under your breath as you make your way to the car.

The castle lies in the heart of the city, so it’s quite the drive. You’re careful as you try to keep your robes clean, bunching it up to your thighs as you drive, and once you’ve made your way to the castle, you’re sure to make sure the hem of the bottom doesn’t hit the ground.

Reporting to the entrance that was given in your email (why they send emails for instructions but not the actual invitation to your job still remains a mystery to you), you carefully tuck your phone into a crevice of your robes.

The entrance starts at a gate on the east end of the castle, and you make your way to the little hut that sits at one end where a woman in a lavender polo and dress pants sits at a desk. Knocking on the window, you smile nervously as she looks up from her papers.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes!” you say, holding up your phone and pointing to your first day instructions. “It’s my first day here, and I’m not sure how to get inside and all.”

“Did they give you a code?”

“Uh, yeah let me check again,” you murmur, looking back at your phone to find the 5 digit code you were sent. “It’s, uh—32423.” The lady hums and nods, checking something on her computer before looking up at you with a smile.

“That’s correct. From now on you can just come through the smaller gate on the side—it should be to the left of this big gate, and just put in whatever code you have. It changes every few days but you’ll be notified with the new password every time it does.”

“Thank you,” you say, glancing over your shoulder to look at the gate she’s talking about.

“For now, just follow me. Since it’s your first day, I’ll show you the way to the … where was it you need to get to?”

“Right here it says the Advisory Quart?”

The girl’s eyes widen as she sits up from her seat and walks out of the hut, leading you toward the smaller gate. “Seriously?” she asks as she punches in the code, the gate automatically opening once she’s done.

The gate leads to a narrow pathway that runs slightly uphill in the midst of a lush field of trimmed green grass and sparse flowers that was previously hidden from you by the large stone halls. You remember the scene vaguely, but it’s a lot lovelier in person than you remember. Glancing up the pathway, you catch sight of the large castle in front of you, and the vision has an uneasy feeling floating in your stomach.

“Uh yeah, is that surprising?” you respond, hoping the small talk will distract you, even if it’s only a little.

“I mean the Advisory Quart is no joke. Those people work like crazy dogs—” she says with a laugh before looking at you with wide eyes. “Wait, I’m sorry—please don’t tell anyone I said that, they’ll—”

“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. But please do continue—what were you saying? I haven’t been in that castle in a long—I’ve never been to the castle before, so I’m not up to speed with all the different Quarts and sectors and stuff.”

“Oh well, it’s just that the Advisory Quart does a lot of work … I swear they’re always running around, talking about some new project they’re working on,” she says as you follow her up some steps, nearing an entrance to a building connected to the castle.

“What kind of projects?” you ask curiously.

“Oh gosh, everything, I tell you, they do pretty much everything. From helping the King with his own decisions to doing absolutely random, huge projects, there always seems to be someone who’s on top of everything. I remember I had a friend whose husband worked up there—they were working on designing a whole new ballroom and no one had any idea why! So what are you going to be doing there?”

Chuckling nervously, you aren’t sure if you should tell this girl that you don’t really know. “One of those random projects, I assure you,” you tell her because you’re pretty sure it’s true. After all, you’re almost positive they won’t have you be doing anything that’s worthwhile.

“Ah, well you’ll probably be swamped either way,” the girl says with a sigh as you reach a large wooden door. “Anyways, we’ll part ways here. Just go through these doors and there’ll be a big hallway. Ignore all the different corridors and doors on the side, and just go straight and you can see there’s an open room at the end of this hallway. That’s where your check-in will be, and the people there will direct you to wherever you need to go.”

You blink a few times, taking in all the information before nodding meekly, bowing and thanking the girl for her time as she walks away. Taking a deep breath, you open the door with a loud creaking noise, stepping into the grand hallway.

The walls are beige with ornate accents lining the bottom and top, intricate designs carved into the ceilings that hang chandeliers in intervals. Your sandals clack against smooth travertine marble as your eyes roam the entrances to different corridors and rooms, doors dark and wooden, similar to the one you just entered through.

There aren’t many people in the long hallways, passing by only a few others who seem to have their attention busied by papers or their phone. Some of them are wearing similar fashioned robes to yours, while most of the others are wearing the same lavender colored polo and white slacks as the girl who brought you here.

Smoothing the fabric below your waist one more time as you near the large open room you were directed to, you glance around and find a desk with a kind looking receptionist talking to a man wearing your kind of robes.

Quietly approaching the desk, you stand a few feet behind him, patiently waiting for them to finish so you can step up. Neither of them seem to notice, being caught up in a conversation that seems a bit of a mix of professional and leisurely.

Twiddling with your fingers behind your back, you rock side to side on your feet as you wait for the two to finish up talking about how they’re excited for the next ball that’s coming up, not bothering to think about who these people might be and why they’re even invited to it.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the man at the counter calls out, “I can help you.” He smiles and waves you over before nudging the other man on his shoulder. “Seokmin, go—you’re distracting me.”

The man he pushed is a handsome looking guy, light brown hair falling just above his eyes as he turns around and gives a small smile, stepping to the side but not fully backing away. “Ah, sorry about that. Go ahead, we were just catching up.”

“No worries,” you say quickly, walking up to the receptionist. “I’m here to find the Advisory Quart I think? I was told to report to this entrance, and the lady at the front told me to come here—it’s my first time here so—”

“Your first time in the castle?” the other man asks you with wide eyes.

“Uh, well—”

“Don’t mind him—Seokmin, you know better than to mess with the newbies,” the receptionist murmurs, and you frown at the word. He catches on and looks up at you, holding a hand out. “No offense.”

“N-none taken. So could you help me—I’m really not sure where to go.”

“Yeah of course. Does your email say who you’ll be reporting to?”

“It says here ‘Mr. Park.’”

“Oh okay, his room number’s going to be 77, right down that corridor right there,” the receptionist tells you kindly, pointing at one of the side hallways you saw while walking here. “Since it’s your first day, I’ll let him know that you’ll be coming down so he can be ready. I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“Thank you so much,” you say bowing, quickly telling him your name. So caught up in the kindness of these peers, you almost forgot why you were so reluctant to come here in the first place, but no worries, this receptionist does a good job of reminding you.

His lips press into a thin line as raises a brow, asking you to repeat your last name again. When your answer slips from your lips, it’s much quieter. A heavy cloud sinks over you as you realize that even after years away, your family name is still tainted.

“Okay,” the receptionist finally says briskly, and you’re taken aback by how cold his voice has become. “I’ll let him know you’re coming down. You can proceed now.”

He doesn’t give you a ‘good luck,’ or a ‘have a nice day,’ or a ‘do you have any questions,’ despite his cheery attitude from before. Now he’s looking at you with an expressionless face and eyes that won’t meet yours as you shamefully turn away.

So caught up in the disappointment, you hardly notice how the other man—Seokmin—is still watching the scene unfold. As you walk away from the open room, there’s a hand on your wrist. Whipping around, you’re faced with a Seokmin whose face seems unreadable, just like the receptionists. Except something is … different. He seems sincere, and you feel safe.

“You might get lost trying to get there,” Seokmin says rather casually, letting go of your hand and walking next to you. “Come on, I’ll show you the way—I’m working under Mr. Park too actually, I’m his intern—so I know the way pretty well and can fill you in on what he’s like.”

You wonder why Seokmin isn’t acting like the receptionist. Your family name is still somewhat taboo in the city outside the castle, so you were pretty confident when walking into the actual place of the ‘crime scene’ that you’d be even more … generally disliked.

Seokmin seems to be different though, and you can’t quite figure out why.

Seokmin lets you know Mr. Park is mean when he wants, which seems to be always. Direct with his words but also, you have to read in between the lines sometimes if you don’t want to get scolded. You’re not sure what to do with that information, because Seokmin doesn’t tell you much else.

You walk down the corridor with him before stopping in front of a wooden door to your right, labeled with that familiar sun emblem and a golden plated plaque reading ‘77.’ “C’mon, he should be in here right now,” Seokmin says, pressing against the frame and pushing the door open.

Inside is a room unlike the others you’ve seen before. The ceiling is much lower and baskets of plants hang from it, vines lining the limestone walls, and pots and beds of plants sit by the smaller desks that litter the area. There’s a larger desk at the end opposite to the door, and you see a man with grey hair and firm eyes sitting at the ornate chair, reading through a stack of papers.

“Ah, Seokmin,” he says, standing up when he notices the two of you by the door, and it’s not you realize that this man is Mr. Park. Both you and Seokmin bow hastily. “I was waiting for the two of you to arrive.” His gaze then turns to you, and it’s sharp. “What took you so long?” His tone is harsh and you almost wince. “It isn’t your first time in the castle,” Mr. Park says bluntly, and for once you are taken aback because no one has addressed the cloud hanging over your head so directly yet.

“I’m sorry sir, I haven’t been here in—”

“No excuses. Don’t be late again.”

“Y-yes sir,” you reply meekly, faltering in your step a little.

Mr. Park sighs heavily and looks at Seokmin, waving him off. “Go to the Ballroom and ask around to see if they need anything for tonight. Don’t be slow like last time.”

“Yes sir! Right on it,” Seokmin says with a nod, quickly turning on his heel and scurrying out of the room.

“And for you …” Mr. Park mutters as he takes in your figure with an unnerving look on his face. “I need you to lead a project.”

Your eyes bulge out of your head. “Lead a project? I don’t even know what—”

“Word has it that the Prince himself had to bribe you with a whole four years of Hong tuition to get you here. Surely you didn’t think you’d be given light work.” people knew about that?

“Well, I didn’t know much about anything and I don’t even know what work I’m supposed—”

“You’ll figure it out, soon enough,” Mr. Park tells you briskly, walking over to his desk where a large chalkboard sits to its left. Using a stick, he points at a word written in a corner. Garden. “The Queen has a courtyard that she no longer likes the look of. It’s been stripped down, and you’re in charge of turning it into a garden of her liking.”

You knit your eyebrows together. “A-a whole courtyard?”

Mr. Park raises a brow. “Are you saying that it’s too much for you?”

“N-no!” you exclaim quickly. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I don’t get why I would be chosen to do this.”

Mr. Park huffs, and you wonder how such a tiny old man can fit so much sass in him. “If you must know: the Queen loved how your …” he pauses and within a fraction of a second you have a feeling where this is going, “… your mother designed the gardens on the West end.”

Mr. Park walks towards his desk and sits down, not looking at you as he cards through a few binders. “The Queen wants a similar style for this courtyard but since we can’t exactly have her back …”

You wince for real this time as you conclude, “… you tried to get the next closest thing.”

Mr. Park nods, not returning a snarky comment this time, much to your pleasure. “I’m the head of Design & Architecture, by the way, if you have any questions ask me—as long as it’s not stupid. You lead your project—design it and plan it. When you need people to work on it just talk to Seokmin and he’ll assign someone. You have three months to finish it. If you need an extension, you’ll have to get it approved by me.”

“Okay,” you respond quickly, trying to take in all the information at once. “Is there, like, a theme? Anything she wants in particular?”

“That’s a stupid question,” Mr. Park says bluntly and you frown as he points at a desk behind you. “Your desk is there. Any information you need will be there.”

“Y-yes sir, thank you,” you say, bowing and turning on your heel to sit down at your new chair. The desk is dark, wooden, and completely barren except for a thin folder set in the middle. Opening it, there’s a single paper inside with only a few bullet points typed out, and it hardly takes you a moment to read through all of it.

It’s vague—your only real requirements are the adherence to the kingdom’s symbolic purple colors, and inclusion of a general theme throughout the courtyard.

You furrow your eyebrows at the lack of guidance—were you really left to make such major decisions about such a large space in a castle you haven’t been in years? There’s so much room for error and disappointment and rejection, and after the past years of being treated like your family was nothing but a mistake, you aren’t sure if you can handle any more of it.

Closing your eyes, you absentmindedly nod to yourself in a silent promise. Closing the folder, you stand up. “Mr. Park, sir, do you know where the courtyard—”

“There is a map on the wall. Figure it out.”

You huff, glancing at the large map of the castle next to the chalkboard. This is going to be harder than you thought.

You run into Seokmin just as you leave 77, and he helps lead you to the courtyard. “So you’re working on this one, huh,” he says under his breath as you both appear in front of a large plot of land surrounded by castle buildings on all sides. You’re both standing on the East entrance to the courtyard, and there are four adjacent and opposite entrances on all other sides.

“Uh, yeah,” you say steadily, glancing back down at your minimal instructions before looking back up at the courtyard. It’s a square, and if you had to estimate, each side would be around 50 yards long, leaving quite a great deal of space for you to work with it.

“Pretty big project, huh,” Seokmin says, although his tone seems much more lighthearted than your mood. How the hell are you supposed to transform this in three months?

“Yeah,” you mutter, squinting at the bright sunlight as you analyze the plot.

“You know, I can totally help if you want,” Seokmin begins to say, and you take note of how quickly he talks. “I don’t know if Mr. Park told you but you can basically ask me for help on anything and like, I’m really doing this whole interning thing for fun—” Who the hell works as an intern for Mr. Park, for fun? “—so I’d be happy to help.”

“Thanks. I’ll ask if I need anything.”

“Great!” Seokmin cheers, clapping his hands together before looking behind your shoulder and letting his smile brighten. He waves at someone behind you and you purse your lips together, wondering if you should brace yourself for yet another salty interaction.

“Minnie!” a deep voice greets and suddenly, your feet seem glued in their spot. You know that voice.

“Shua, hey!” Seokmin says cheerily, and you silently cringe. “Crazy running into you here, gosh, I haven’t seen you since last week!”

Prince Joshua laughs, and it reminds you of all those years ago when you watched him from inside the greenhouse. You hate how you remember.

“Yeah, my fencing instructor let me off earlier so I thought I might browse around the castle for a bit,” he explains, and when it all goes quiet and you realize that he must be looking at you, but you don’t dare to turn around.

“Oh,” Seokmin exclaims, as if he’s just realized that he forgot something. You feel a tapping on your shoulder, and for a second you debate just running the other way and never letting yourself return to the castle but for something, you’re planted in your place. “Hey, look,” he says quietly in your ear, “It’s the Prince.”

Like you don’t fucking know that. Nodding, you slowly follow his lead and turn around, eyes trained on the ground as you bow.

“Oh, well if it isn’t that little ray of sunshine,” Prince Joshua says, and it takes everything to not let your eye twitch as you finally look up at him. He’s wearing the same royal uniform you say to him when you showed up on his doorstep and his eyes are crinkled as he smiles widely.

Your face burns as Seokmin’s eyes flicker back and forth between you, and your lips are pressed together in an awkward silence. “You know each other?” His face displays nothing but perplexion for a few moments but then it seems that some of the cogs turned and his lips open wide into a large ‘o,’ and Seokmin waves his finger while nodding. “Oh you’re the girl Shua said he had to offer four years worth of—”

“Seokmin,” Prince Joshua interrupts, putting his hand over his friend’s mouth after catching the look of mortification on your face for bringing it up. “Mr. Park was calling you, I’m pretty sure.”

“Ugh, are you kidding me? I thought this would be fun for the summer but he actually has me doing stuff!” As the two converse casually, you wonder how hard it’d be to quickly slip away.

“Not sure what you expected,” Joshua chides his friend before Seokmin groans and you hear the heavy footsteps of him walking away. He calls out your name once and your eyes shoot up as you bashfully wave your hand at him, bidding goodbye.

You’re left in this corridor with the empty thoughts in your head and the goddamn prince of the kingdom. You half expect him to just wave at you and go about his own business, but it seems like you still have a lot of learning to do.

After all, Prince Joshua is a fickle man. “It’s nice to see you again, Sunshine,” he greets, and you think you might pass out from embarrassment. Glancing around, you see a few maids overhear him using the name and murmuring their own whispers amongst themselves as they rush away.

“H-hi,” you say nervously, suddenly aware that much attention is on you now that the prince is speaking to you.

“So this is what you’re working on?” he asks curiously, not paying a single mind to your awkwardness, walking toward the door which leads to the East entrance to the courtyard.

“Yes sir,” you murmur. You could be snappish outside the walls and in the boundaries of your own home but here, you’re bound by royal courtesy and witnesses that surround you. Compliance is all you can manage out in the open.

“Don’t call me sir—you’re around the same age as me, so it feels weird,” Joshua says dismissively, and you furrow your brows at how casual he’s being. “So,” he starts, looking out at the empty yard of dirt, “you got any idea of what you’re going to do with it?”

“Not a clue,” you reply honestly, keeping your answers brisk. Joshua seems to catch on and he pouts at you. How can a man act so childish? The thought lingers in your head for a moment before he starts talking to you.

“So cold. Brighten up Sunshine. I’ll stop in soon to see how it’s going here—I’m interested!” he says cheerily before stepping back and nodding. You bow as he walks away, waving to you one last time before leaving you in the corridor with not a single thought in his mind.

There seems to be a distinct odd air around the prince, except you can’t quite place why that is.

It’s been three weeks since you started working at the castle—time passes quickly when you have loads of work to do and not much time to do it. You spent the first week hunched over at your desk simply raking your mind for ideas, for anything that would give you even a smidge of inspiration.

77 is rather sparse. It’s only really you and Mr. Park actually working in there, with the occasional Seokmin running in and out to tend to everyone’s miniscule needs.

And then there’s Jihoon, who is the only other person who actually works at his desk, even if it’s only for an hour a day. Jihoon is slightly brooding and always has his nose buried in some work, but he seems standoff-ish to just about everyone. He isn’t unkind though, just … just reserved, and you feel thankful that there’s another person somewhat like you here.

77 is kind to you and your heart. Everyone works on their own schedule and is in their own head, and no one seems to treat you extraordinarily different. You wish the same would go for the rest of the castle.

On the second day of your work, the embroidered name on the fabric over your right breast was clear enough for people to start learning who you were and recognize your face.

But you’re used to the stares—both the subtle and obvious ones—and you are used to the whispers, the guessing games about whether or not you’re a slut just like your mother was.

You’re not, by the way, but you’ve had enough experience with these kinds of people to know that they can guess all they want but you know the answer, and the truth will come to light at some point. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, they'll figure it out on their own. Eventually.

By the second week, you figured out a plan and needed to get to work on executing it. Seokmin seemed to be pleased when you asked him for help on that.

“I need people who can build a pathway,” was all you needed to tell him and then he was on the phone, and then the next day you had ten men ready for you by the dirt field ready to work. “I want stone tiles and it needs to curve exactly like this,” you told them, showing them a scaled down map of the area with a long, curvy line running from the North to South ends, and another even more curvy one running from the East to West end.

They didn’t ask questions, which you’re grateful for, because coming up with it was a whole feat on its own. Explaining it would be a whole other story.

As you walk up to the castle’s entrance today, you catch sight of a girl who sits in her little hut in front of the East gate. She’s the same girl who helped you on the first day, you realize. She was kind then, you remember, but now as you meet her gaze, she turns away and pretends to go back to her phone.

You don’t frown or let the gesture sear your heart because in all honesty, that’s exactly what you’re expecting. Sighing, you make your way to the smaller gate and walk the small way up to the actual castle grounds before heading straight to 77.

Jihoon is sitting at his desk but is just about to get up, sending you a quick nod as he stacks his files and walks out of the room. Mr. Park isn’t here, for once, although you did overhear some information about a ball happening tonight so you figure he must be busy.

You’re thankful Seokmin is here, and you catch him watering one of the plants. “Hey, what are you doing?” you ask him hastily, walking up behind his back before grabbing the watering pot from his hands.

“Um … watering … the plants?”

“These are yarrows,” you emphasize, pointing at the white flowers he was just watering.

“Okay … I am really not sure what to do with that information,” Seokmin says slowly as if he isn’t quite processing your words.

Huffing, you tell him, “Yarrows don’t need a lot of water. You aren’t watering them … I think a better word would be drowning.”

“Oh,” Seokmin mutters, looking down at that pot that’s now rich with soaked soil. “Sorry, I, uh, didn’t know,” he apologizes, and you purse your lips together because he does sound sincere.

“It’s okay … sorry for being mean about it,” you add quietly, returning the pot to his hand. “I can send you a list later—of all the plants here and how much water they need.”

Seokmin’s ears perk up. “Really? Thank you, but you seriously don’t have to, you know.”

“I know, but I enjoy talking about plants and stuff. And I’d rather the ones in this room be taken care of nicely, so the least I can do is help you,” you offer before retreating to your desk. “I think I need your help by the way, so can you come with me?” you ask, pulling out a measuring tape from a drawer.

Seokmin nods, dropping the watering bucket by his own desk and following behind you as you leave the room. The journey from the Advisory Quart to your courtyard, which is located near Royal Residence Quart, is quite the walk, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little bit pleased that you had someone like Seokmin as company.

“How’s the project turning out?” he asks as you make your way down the long hallways. You catch a few other workers spare the two of you glances and you try to hold your head up and look forward when you respond.

“I’m a little behind,” you admit. “But the construction manager told me that they should be finished with the pathway today, and I asked them to start tilling some other parts of the field so I can get some flora in there soon.”

“Oh really That’s nice—I stopped by the place just the other day and the pathway was looking pretty cool—the color fit in really well.”

“Hm, that’s good … I was worried about that,” you murmur to yourself thoughtfully, pulling out your phone so you can glance at the list of things you need to get done before heading back to 77. Tucking the device back into a crevice of your robe, you smile as you near the East end courtyard entrance. “I gotta get a plaque up here or something,” you remind yourself, looking at the empty space above the entrance.

“You want me to get on that soon?” Seokmin offers and you shrug.

“I guess. I’ll still have to come up with a name for this place …” you say, walking into the courtyard.

“Wow,” Seokmin mutters as he follows behind you. “The pathway looks great!” He pats your back and you throw him a small smile when you look over the two twisting paths that connect the 4 ends of the courtyard. “What was it that you needed my help with again—Oh hey! Shua!”

Oh for fuck’s sake—

“Seokminnie!” that familiar, smooth voice appears from behind you as Seokmin turns on his heel and scurries toward his friend. Slowly and carefully, you tuck your hands behind your back and bow when you turn around and are met with the sight of Prince Joshua. “Sunshine,” he greets with a smile after exchanging his casual pleasantries with his friend.

“Good morning sir,” you murmur as Seokmin bounces up and down on feet from a newfound excitement. How does he have this much energy at nine in the morning?

“I thought I said don’t call me sir,” Prince Joshua tells you, scrunching his face up when you let the word slip from your mouth. “Feels weird.”

“I’m sorry but you’re kind of the prince. I don’t think there’s anything else for me to call you other than ‘sir,’” you huff lowly before slapping a hand over your mouth. You’re not scared of what Joshua might do, per se, but the thought of someone else overhearing your snarky remark has you reminding yourself to be more careful.

Joshua only chuckles. Is there anything that bothers him? “You’re funny,” he comments. “You can call me Joshua, like Minne over here,” he tells you, patting Seokmin’s shoulder affectionately.

Your face sours and you shake your head, “I’m sorry that doesn’t feel right.”

Joshua rolls his eyes playfully, choosing to ignore what you said and instead looks around the courtyard. “Nice pathway. It’s cool that it isn’t straight—is it supposed to be something?”

“Sort of,” you say, turning around to look at the stone on the ground. “It’s confusing.”

Joshua scoffs. “Try me.”

You furrow your eyebrows. Why Prince Joshua—or as he would like you to call him, just Joshua—is so curious about a random courtyard is beyond you. “They’re just lines that follow the movement of sunlight. I guess. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“That’s cool,” Seokmin chimes in when he sees you pulling out a roll of measuring tape. “Oh yeah, sorry, I didn’t get to hear what you said you needed help with.”

“Oh yeah, I just want to measure a—”

“Sorry for interrupting,” Joshua says, and you frown when he pulls out a buzzing phone, holding it up to Seokmin’s face. “What did you do this time—why is Mr. Park calling me?”

Seokmin’s eyes widen in panic as you watch the scene unfold. “What?! I haven’t done anything wrong recently. Well I don’t think I did and I’m pretty sure—”

He’s cut off by Joshua pressing his finger over his lip, effectively shutting him up. You almost laugh at the way Seokmin complies so quickly, but hold it back as Joshua holds the phone up to his ear. The sounds that come from the call are muffled but you can vaguely make out the voice of your boss before Joshua sighs and ends the call.

“What are yarrows and what did you do to them?” he asks his friend, and this time you actually do stifle out a giggle. Joshua glances at you as you quickly press your lips back into a fine line, both of you turning your attention back to Seokmin whose ears are turning bright red, shoulders tensing up.

“Oh no—I really don’t want another scolding!” he whines.

“Well buckle up, because he’s asking for you back at 77 right now,” Joshua shrugs as Seokmin huffs, stomping off back into the corridor and presumably back toward the Advisory Quart. “Sorry,” he says, turning to you, “I keep sending your assistant away when you need him.”

“It’s fine,” you say gruffly. “I, uh, I can still do this all by my stuff so it’s not really a big deal.”

Joshua narrows his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t have fencing for another …” He glances down at his star studded wrist watch for a second, “… thirty minutes so I can help out.”

To say you’re mortified by the offer is an understatement. A prince helping out you? He must be fucking with you because—

“Stop giving me weird looks. I know how to help out around here, you know?”

“Duly noted, but I’m not sure how it would look on my end if the prince was helping me out with—” you gesture to the field around you, “—yard work.”

Joshua laughs, and once again you’re left in perplexity. “Weren’t you the one who reminded me that this is the 21st century? I don’t just sit around and do nothing, you know that right?”

“But still,” you mumble.

“Okay fine. If you’re so obsessed with this royal hierarchy thing, then I, as Prince Joshua, am officially requesting you to let me help. Surely you won’t turn that down.”

This man is so weird.

“Fine,” you relent, holding up the measuring tape. “You see that little circle in the middle where the pathways sort of curve around? I need to measure the circumference of it.”

“That’s it?” Joshua asks casually, grabbing one end of the measuring tape as you make your way to the plot. “Oh, I mean I guess it’s kinda big,” he adds, glancing down at the measuring tape. This one only goes up to 15 feet.”

“You’re right,” you mutter to yourself. “Okay here, let’s just use this,” you say, pulling out a roll of thin string and handing one end to Joshua. “If you stand here I’ll just circle it around and measure the length of the string,” you explain, unraveling the roll and walking around the outer edge of the circle, trailing the string behind you.

Joshua just stands in the spot that you placed him, holding the string and frowning. “I feel like I’m not helping much.”

“Trust me,” you reply under your breath. “You’re helping me just enough.” You don’t mean it to come out bitter, but it does anyways.

“What happened to all the royal hierarchy stuff that you were on about?”

Your eyes harden on him as you’ve made it halfway around the length of the circle, pausing to make sure he notices your subtle glare. “If you didn’t know, this is kind of my job on the line, and while you’ve made it clear that what I say doesn’t affect you, I’m not sure the same could be said for what other people see. So I’m sorry if I don’t want people looking at us and getting the wrong idea.”

“What do you mean the wrong idea?”

Huh. And here you thought that with all those royal tutors, the prince would be smart. Too bad for Joshua, but right now, he’s coming off as just about the densest guy alive.

You’ve been working at the castle for five weeks now. Since your last meeting with Joshua (he insists you get rid of the ‘Prince’ and ‘sir’ so diligently now that even in your head, you’ve removed him of those honorifics), you’ve only seen him twice.

The first was three days after he helped you measure the length of your soon to be pond. You were on the phone with a construction contractor in 77 when Joshua popped in to say ‘hi’ to Seokmin (how and why the two are friends, you don’t know, and you don’t care enough to ask). Noticing you were here past the regular working hour of six, he waited for a few moments to let you finish up your call before walking up to your desk.

“You know you don’t get paid overtime, right Sunshine?” he asks, confused on why exactly you were still here.

“Well work needs to get done,” you sigh heavily, taking a few seconds to clean up your desk and throw away a few old designs you sketched earlier.

“Hey, those looked cool, why’d you trash them?”

“They didn’t work,” you tell him, rummaging through more papers to find the few that you actually wanted to keep.

“Told you,” Seokmin comes up from behind Joshua, patting his shoulder. “She’s a tough judge—even on herself.”

“I get what you mean now,” Joshua murmurs, nodding along with his friend.

Your eyes snap up. “Why are you talking about me as if I’m not here—wait, why do you guys talk about me when I’m not here anyways?”

“You’re like the only one that’s nice to me in 77! Well, sort of,” Seokmin reasons with you.

“I mean you do kind of suck as an intern—”

“Hey! I just happened to get distracted a lot. I’m an honest worker, trust!”

You huff, finally finding the paper that you were looking for. It’s a design for a couple plaques that you want posted above the entrances, and you tuck it into a folder.

“Is that in Latin?” Joshua piques when he catches a glimpse of the wording.

“Uh, yeah—you know Latin?”

“He’s a prince. Of course he does,” Seokmin tells you, turning around to nudge his friend on the side. “This spoiled brat has been learning Latin since he was six!”

Joshua scoffs. “Who’re you calling a spoiled brat? You were in those classes with me too!”

You consider wondering about who exactly Seokmin is and why he was in those classes with a prince, why he’s so close with Joshua, and a plethora of questions run through your mind, before you remind yourself that you really don’t care.

“Yeah but—” Seokmin tries to reason with his friend before you stand up and both of their attention are directed at you.

“You’re right Pri—Joshua. I don’t get paid overtime, so I’m gonna get going now.” You bow at him and then Seokmin, grabbing your folder and bag before pushing in your chair and heading to the exit. Awkwardly, the two boys say bye to you before glancing at each other.

“That was weird,” Seokmin says, and Joshua shrugs.

“I guess.”

“Did you actually understand what she wrote or were you just bluffing? I don’t remember shit from those Latin lessons.”

Joshua rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah, but I only got the second word. Said ‘invictus,’ I think.”

“Huh, cool. Got no clue what that means.”

“It means undefeatable, dipshit,” Joshua groans. “Seriously, how’d you pass that class!”

“Hey, I was a great student—I just have, uh, bad memory,” Seokmin pouts.

“Yeah I can tell … seriously, how did you manage to fuck up the yarrows even after she,” Joshua gestures behind him as if to point at where you exited just a few moments earlier, “sent you all those instructions and all!”

“God, don’t remind me. I actually feel really bad, ‘cause Mr. Park yelled at her too for giving me ‘the wrong instructions,’ but I really just forgot what she told me.” Cringing at the mental image of both you and Seokmin being scolded by Mr. Park, Joshua shakes his head—that is not a pretty scene.

Joshua sighs, the two of them making their way out of the empty 77 and walking down the corridor towards the Royal Residence Quart. “Why’re you even interning for him? You don’t need a job, especially not as one being an assistant.”

“My dad’s pissed at me, remember?” Seokmin tells his friend gruffly, and Joshua purses his lips at the mention of the older man.

“Right.”

“Wanted to punish me for the summer or whatever, but I guess it’s not too bad. The staff are actually pretty funny, and your Sunshine girl is really bossy so she gives me a lot of work to do.”

“I can’t tell if you’re complaining or celebrating.”

“Both, I think,” Seokmin replies, the two of them laughing together. “Why do you talk to her so much? She’s even snappier to you than to me, and trust me, I can be pretty damn annoying.”

“Like I don’t know that,” Joshua mutters teasingly, earning him a punch on the arm. “But anyways, she seems interesting. Like cool, you know what I mean.”

“I guess,” Seokmin says absentmindedly. “Wonder what my dad would say about that.”

“Okay well your dad isn’t the King so I don’t really think it matters what your dad says about it.”

Seokmin raises a brow. “You sure? My dad almost had me transferred out of 77 because he heard I had to work with her.”

“Well that’s his own problem I guess. Just don’t let him bring it up with my dad because I’m not keen on having any more drama in this castle,” Joshua mumbles, stopping in front of the big door that leads to the residence.

Seokmin nods at one of the guards standing by the door, and she presses a code to a small box on the wall and the doors open. “You coming? Dinner’s about to be served,” he calls to Joshua when he walks forward but realizes his friend isn’t by his side.

Smiling, Joshua shakes his head and waves Seokmin off. “I’m gonna take a breather for a bit. Tell them to start dinner without me.”

Seokmin laughs. “You know they won’t do that.”

“I know, I know, but it’s the gesture that counts anyways. I’ll be back in twenty, trust.”

The second time you saw Joshua was yesterday evening just as you were just leaving 77 to head home, your arms full of papers to look through in the night. After getting the pathways cleaned up, you needed to work on adding more structures to the courtyard, but were at a loss of what to make and what to make it with.

With your stack of papers that were littered with different possible materials and architectural structures that you promised yourself to get through by the end of the night, even if it meant pulling a whole damn all nighter.

“Is Sunshine leaving at a normal time for once?” Joshua asks with a faux gasp as he comes across you in the hallway.

With the paper’s digging into your arms, you can only manage to grunt out a short, “Thankfully, I am,” before increasing your pace so you can get all this stuff to your car as quickly as possible.

“Hey, wait!” Joshua calls out from behind you, and you almost whine because your arms are killing you and you aren’t sure how much more of this you can handle. “Do you need help? I can—”

He’s cut off by the sound of your phone slipping from your pocket and crashing to the ground. “Shit,” you whimper under your breath as you try to balance all the papers on one hand while crouching down to pick up your phone with the other. You’re wobbling under all the weight, and you have half a mind to give up right here and now but then a larger hand is pushing itself into your vision.

“Here,” he says, quickly turning over the device to check for any cracks on the scene. In that fraction of a moment, your phone turns on and flashes your very bright and very embarrassing lock screen. Your face burns as you snatch the phone from his hands and tuck it back into your pocket. “Is that Percy Jackson?”

Adjusting the papers in your hand, you shuffle your feet and start walking toward the exit. Joshua follows, as expected. “Uh, yeah—I know it’s embarrassing but—”

“Uh, you did not just say that,” Joshua scoffs, and when you catch the oddly offended look on his face, your annoyance dissipates for a moment. “Percy Jackson is not embarrassing. Those books were like the defining character of my pre-teens.”

You chew on your lip, wondering how you should respond to this. “That’s cool. I used to like the stories too …”

“Seems like you still do, considering it’s like, your lock screen and all.”

“Look, I just have it ‘cause it looks cool,” you tell him bashfully, speeding up the pace of your steps in hopes that it’ll bring this conversation to end faster.

“Uh yeah, sure. Totally believe you.”

“I’m serious,” you huff. “I liked the books ages ago, but now I’m only interested in Greek mythology. It just so happens that the best art of Greek gods comes from Percy Jackson fan artists.”

“Sure. sure,” Joshua says blankly with a smirk teasing at his lips. “Again, totally believe you.” You don’t know why his subtle teasing has you gripping onto your papers so tightly, why it has you gritting your teeth together. And then you remember who this is and it all makes sense.

Joshua is playful and lighthearted, but he is still the Prince, after all.

Your sixth week at the castle, and you’re nearing the halfway mark for your project’s timeline. You’ve spent the past week working on getting some stone benches built into the courtyard, and just this morning you sent in an order to get some plaques engraved.

Mr. Park stopped by when you were checking out your progress earlier, glancing at the pathways and the nearly completed seating. He didn’t say anything, simply nodding and walking along, and you figure that that’s the best you’ll get from him.

Your day goes by fine, for the most part after that. When you take your lunch break at the cafeteria, Seokmin tags along and you’re pleased that for once, you won’t have to eat alone. He has to leave soon after though—apparently Jihoon called for his help, and so you’re left to take care of this afternoon’s work by yourself.

Not that you mind—people let you be in the castle, and it’s actually quite nice for getting work done. When you return to 77, it’s only occupied by Mr. Park who, as always, pays no mind to you. Taking a look at your schedule, you aren’t sure if you feel like smiling or frowning when you see your next activity lined up.

Visiting the greenhouse.

There’s an odd feeling that blooms in your stomach as you walk there. You haven’t been to this side of this castle yet, partly because you don’t need to, but mostly because you don’t want to.

It’s when you leave the walls and take your way out to the Northeastern gardens of the palace that the pathways start ringing bells in your head. The familiar green bushes that you remember your mother tending to. The fields of daffodils, and the little built in canals that lead toward the row of greenhouses—it’s all flooding back to you, and you can’t figure out if you like it or not.

When you first came to the castle, you figured that you could avoid confronting the remnants of your past, but you should’ve known that everything eventually goes full circle.

Which is how you find yourself standing in front of the greenhouse where everything—your life, your mother’s life, all of it—ended on that day over ten long years ago.

Taking a deep breath, you go up to the door of the largest greenhouse ,tentatively tapping on the blurry glass before pushing it open. Peeking inside, you’re met with the familiar sight of flora arranged in neat lines of soil beds.

As you step in, the air is moist and stuffy—when you inhale, you’re reminded of those early Saturday mornings where you sat by your mother’s desk and watched her tend to the plants. The humidity was usually uncomfortable, but you learned to love it. Right now, you learn how much you missed it.

“Can I help you?” a gruff voice interrupts your thoughts, and you whip your head around to find an elderly woman glaring up at you.

“Hi, I called earlier and you said I could take some of the hyacinths. I just wanted to ask which greenhouse they’d be in because—”

“31C,” she says bluntly, immediately turning back around to tend to whatever she was doing earlier.

You watch her for a few seconds blankly, before snapping out of your haze, “O-okay, thank you.” Pursing your lips, you let your head hang low as you start walking toward the door.

“That damned slut,” the woman mutters quietly. You don’t think you want to hear it, but you continue to listen anyway. “Thinks she can just send her daughter over and—”

“And?”

You don’t think you’ve ever been more happy to hear Joshua’s voice.

Looking up, he’s just entered through the entrance you were about to exit through, and while you would usually mull over the possible reasons he would be here, you’re far more focused on watching the bewildered look on this woman’s face

“Nothing sir!” she replies quickly, back straightened as she presses her hands behind her back. 

“Good to hear,” he says simply. You watch from the side as Joshua gives her a look that you can’t really gauge before turning to you with a brighter look on his face. “Seokmin told me I would find you here?”

“I—yeah, he was right.”

“Well I can see that Sunshine,” Joshua chuckles and waves your hand in a gesture to follow him. You don’t have any other choice than to follow him out the greenhouse and into the much freer, lighter air. “What’re you doing here anyways?” he asks when you start finding your way to 31C.

“I need to look at some flowers.” Joshua asks you quite a bit about the courtyard, and although you don’t really get it, you’ve learned that it’s easier to just reply to his questions honestly than try to avoid them.

“For the courtyard?” he piques as you finally find the smaller greenhouse, opening the door to thankfully find it empty of anyone else.

Your gaze lands on a bed of hyacinths as you reply, “What else?”

“Okay, you need to stop answering all of my questions like I’m stupid.”

Huffing, you pull up a pot from under the bed and fill it up with soil before digging your hands into the dirt around one of the hyacinth plants. Your fingers search under the earth before feeling against the roots and carefully pulling out the plant.

“Maybe stop asking stupid questions then,” you suggest.

“Seeing as you think I’m dumb … do you want to tutor me?”

“What?” you deadpan, looking up at him with your hands still in the dirt. “Why?”

“I mean like, you’re smart and all, plus we get along—”

You click your tongue, finally pulling the plant out of the soil and pressing it into the pot. “Not so sure about that second part.”

“Okay well we have some shared interests and stuff—”

“Like?” you counter, walking over to a sink so you can wash the excess soil off.

“Percy Jackson. Greek mythology?”

Your ears perk up at that. “You like Greek mythology?”

“Yes! See! That’s like, already two common interests, Sunshine.”

“More like only two. And one of them is a book series I haven’t read in about nine years so I’m not even sure it counts,” you rebut.

“Oh no, it definitely counts,” Joshua counters, watching you pick up the flower pot and head towards the greenhouse exit. “Wait, we’re diverting from the point here.”

“What is the point again?”

“You need to tutor me!” he whines as he follows behind you, up the pathway back to the castle.

“I need to? Uh, sorry, but I don’t think tutoring the Prince is under my job description.”

“This is a different job though!”

You knit your eyebrows together. “Am I getting paid?”

“You might,” Joshua smirks. “I’ll pay you by the hour.”

Pondering, you chew on the inside of your cheek, before you finally respond, “How much are we talking?”

Joshua grins, shaking his head. “Should’ve known money was the way to your heart Sunshine.”

“Money is not the way to my heart. It’s just the way to get me to tutor you. Don’t mix those two up.”

“Don’t worry Sunshine, I wish you all the best in finding your sugar daddy husband eventually.”

Glaring, you chastise him. “Joshua!”

“Why did you ask me to do this again?” you ask, stepping into the room Joshua has just led you to. It’s near the Royal Residence Quart of the castle, and you’re a bit on edge. Joshua assured you earlier that no one would question why you of all people would be here with him, but you’ve also noticed that the boy can be a bit distant from reality.

“Because,” Joshua starts, watching you look around the room (it is a very nice room; bookshelves line the walls and there’s a grand desk in the middle, a rolling chalkboard on one end and a vintage map on another rolling board scattered off to another end). “I don’t like the royal tutor they have, and you’re smart,” he says casually.

“You can’t ask for another one?” you murmur, raising a brow as he moves to the desk and hands you a folder.

“I could, but my mother would get upset if I keep running through them. I’ve changed my tutors far too many times by now.”

“Ah,” you say dryly. “The extreme difficulties of the royalty. How unfortunate.”

“Sunshine,” Joshua grins, ignoring your snarky comment. “Can you at least pretend you want to be here?”

“Um, I’ll think about it,” you reply honestly, pursing your lips together as you glance at his chalkboard which has a list of things he needs to go over. “What is it that you need help on?”

“Well I’m good at math and stuff but Literature and Chemistry are quite literally killing me,” Joshua says with a sigh, sitting down at his desk.

“Literature?” you ask with narrowed eyes. “You’re the Prince—isn’t Literature supposed to be like, I don’t know, your forte?”

“Who told you that?” Joshua asks with a pout, pulling up a packet of papers and letting it down on his desk with a thud.

“I don’t know, I guess I just assumed they’d be having you read Machiavelli or something like that from the age of two.”

Joshua scoffs, holding up the book so you can read out the title. Oh, it’s The Waste Land. “Okay I get that this is a kingdom and all but seriously, who even uses Machiavellianism anymore? That’s from like six hundred years ago.”

“Less than that,” you correct, but shrug anyways and sit down at the chair on the other side of his desk. “But whatever, you need help with The Waste Land?”

“I mean, yeah I’ve read it a bunch but I just never get it and my mom is obsessed with it for some reason and I really don’t want her to make me sit through another read of it so I really need to write up something good on it that will satisfy my Literature instructor and my mom so I can get it out of the way.”

“A paper?”

“Yeah, you know: analyzing themes and stuff.”

“Okay I know what a paper is,” you snap and Joshua rolls his eyes.

“Look now you’re just picking fights over everything I say. Just relax and��”

“I am relaxed,” you huff, but the tension in your shoulders says otherwise. To be honest, you’re still not sure why Joshua decided to choose you of all people, as if you haven’t made it clear multiple times that you weren’t his biggest fan.

You can respect the effort, you guess, but the way he seems so unbothered by your snarkiness is getting a little bit irritating.

“Whatever you say Sunshine,” Joshua says with a shrug, turning the packet and handing it to you. The poem is littered with annotations, underlines, and highlighter marks all over, and you squint for a moment trying to remind yourself of what you remember from the last time you looked at the work. “You read it before? The Waste Land?”

“Uh, yeah, ages ago though. Like back in high school,” murmur, flipping through the pages to jog your memory.

“Why were you reading The Waste Land in high school? Seems like too much, no?”

“Well not everyone was granted the freedom to do as they please with whoever they please,” you tell him, eyes flickering between Joshua’s curious face and the packet in front of you.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joshua asks, and his voice is slightly whiny.

“It means that people didn’t want to talk to me so I had to spend my time reading. Even if it was ‘too much,’ or whatever you said.”

“Oh,” Joshua’s voice is quiet. See, you remind yourself, clouded from reality is what Joshua is. “Well I—”

“Forget it. I think I’m going to have to go home and reread The Waste Land if you want me to be of any help. What else do you have to work on, or do you just want to do Chemistry?”

“Uh, sure we can move onto Chemistry,” Joshua replies hastily, tucking the paper back into his folder haphazardly before shoving it into a drawer and pulling out a much thicker notebook. “I kinda need help with a lot of it. Like—I’m sorry I just don’t get it—what the hell is an electrophile and a nucleophiles and why the hell I need to know them for alkanes and—”

“Slow down,” you say, sticking your hand out. You grab the notebook from his desk and skip over the contents before looking back up. “If you want me to do this for you, we’re going to have to start from the basics, okay?”

Joshua gives you a look which tells you he doesn’t think he needs to do that, but you open the notebook to a new page, pulling out a pen. Begrudgingly, he nods and leans his head in to see what you’re writing.

He’s oddly compliant when you ask him to be, despite his jumpy and bubbly personality, and for a fraction of a second, you wonder about his potential. Quickly, you push that thought out of your mind.

It’s late afternoon when you reach the courtyard, smiling at the progress. You told the workers to get started on digging up the pond this morning, and you’re pleased to see that there’s already a large dugout in the century.

“Good work!” you chirp to Jungho, the contractor you talked to over the phone. He seemed nice enough over the phone, but you soon realized within the first time that you two met in person that he was just as standoff-ish as the rest. “But we’re going to need to get the insides patted down and compressed so when we put the water in, the soil won’t just soak it up,” you try to tell him casually.

Jungho points his thumb behind him at some of his men. “Yeah we have a guy for that,” he says gruffly, not even meeting your gaze.

“Thanks … maybe have it finished within a week?”

“Okay. Anything else?” Jungho looks around awkwardly, before adding. “Want us to get the water in there too? Then we can get outta … outta your hair and stuff and don’t have to keep coming back.”

“Uh, no—there’s some lining I want to do with the pond, and I’ve got to do that before there’s water in it. But it’s something I want to do myself, so you can just take care of compressing the soil and I’ll take it from there.”

Jungho gives you a weird look but you brush it off. “Alright. We’ll have it finished by tomorrow,” he finalizes, and with that he turns on his heels and walks back to his workers who you can tell were watching him from the corner of their vision.

“Why are those guys looking at you like that?”

You whip your head around, seeing Joshua standing just a few meters away from you on the pathway coming in from the East entrance. He glances around and finds a marble bench that’s just been made, sitting on the edge casually.

“Joshua, you’ve seen people look at me like that before and I think you know exactly why,” you mutter, walking over to where he sits. Joshua doesn’t respond and instead averts his gaze to the ground.

There’s a stray kitten bouncing around at his feet, and he’s quick to drop to his knees on the pathway and engulf her in his large hands. It would be an endearing sight, you think. Sorta, you guess.

“Whatever. You’re still coming in on Sunday right? My instructor prepared this stupid Chemistry exam for me on Tuesdays and I know you can’t help out on Mondays so I kind of really need you to help me on Sunday so I can prep. So please, please, please—”

“You know I’m gonna come in, so you don’t have to pester me so much about it,” you say with a sigh, putting your folder down and crouching on the ground so you can pet the kitten. She’s cute, with wide slanted eyes and soft brown fur, the wet kitten licks feeling warm against your palm.

“But you put up with it, don’t you?” You roll your eyes but Joshua still grins when you don’t disagree.

“I don’t understand you,” you mutter, truthfully speaking your mind as the kitten rolls around in Joshua’s lap. You smile without thinking, and Joshua carefully watches your usually taut face unravel in front of him.

“Are you kidding me? I’m literally an open book. You know Sunshine, you can find my whole life on Wikipedia.”

You giggle. You fucking giggle at that, and it’s hard to tell who is more surprised between the two of you. “You know that’s not what I meant,” you murmur, struggling to hold back another laugh, the kitten jumping out of his lap to play around on the ground under the gentle hands of you and Joshua.

“Not that I would know. You think I’m stupid anyways.”

“What? No I don’t.”

“Oh my god, please don’t even try to counter that. When I told you I didn’t know why helium was named helium, you looked at me like I was the dumbest person to ever live.”

“Okay that’s only because you say you like Greek mythology! How could you not put that together—it’s so obvious! Helium and Helios sound totally alike, and everyone knows helium is like, one of the most abundant elements in the sun.”

“Maybe you know that. You’re also insanely smart,” Joshua counters.

“Whatever you say. But for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid. Maybe a little dense, but that’s it.”

Joshua pouts. “Aren’t those basically the same thing?” You know he’s only being playful, but something about the way he says it makes you think twice. He’s being sweet. So sweet, it feels almost bitter.

“No. You have a smart head, Joshua. Honest. I think you just gotta learn how to use it,” you tell him, more softly this time.

“Thanks Sunshine,” he replies gruffly and you frown, realizing that your attempts to make him feel better haven’t quite worked.

“I’m serious. What? You don’t think I’m serious?” Joshua shakes his head, and you roll your eyes when you pick up the kitten yourself and pull her into your lap.

“You’re mean. So no, I don’t think you’re being serious.”

You gasp, using the hand that isn’t playing with the kitten to place it over your chest dramatically. “I am not mean. I’m just honest. I’m being honest right now.”

“Whatever,” Joshua quips, turning his nose and looking away pettily.

“Okay, are you actually upset?” you groan, cradling the kitten up to your chest. You aren’t sure if you’re more annoyed because you can’t tell if Joshua is upset, or because you might be the reason he’s upset.

“Who knows. Not that you would care.”

“I obviously care, because I’m asking,” you deadpan, letting the kitten roll around in your arms, letting out a squeak of surprise when one of its claws gets caught in the belt of your robe, making a tear in the silk.

Joshua gives you a funny look when he says, “You can be quite pestering when you want to.”

“Congratulations! You now know how I feel.”

“See what I mean! You’re mean. I want the kitten back.”

You clutch the little close to your chest and nuzzle your face into her neck. “No can do. I’m afraid she’s mine until you admit you know I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“Oh my god, is this how it feels when I annoy you?” Joshua grumbles, throwing his head back. “Remind me to never pester you again. Ever.”

“Self awareness is great and all, but like I said, you’re not getting her until you admit it.”

“Fine. I don’t think you think I’m stupid. Happy?”

You hum and shake your head. “Mm, no. Gotta sound more convincing.”

Joshua knits his eyebrows together. “If you’re so insistent on this, then I guess it must be true. I don’t think you think I’m stupid,” he repeats, but his tone is gentler this time.

“Good work.”

Joshua stands tall on a hill. His broad shoulders are sharp with his straightened back and taught jaw. The sky is orange and you watch him from below, the clouds moving slowly above his head in the background.

He’s looking out at something, but you can’t quite tell what. It’s off in the distance, but his eyes are dilated and unwavering for a few long moments.

Wind whistles in your ear, and then the sky grows brighter and brighter until it’s no longer orange and suddenly turning yellow and then white. So white that it hinders your vision and you’re wincing through the light until you realize Joshua is not on the hill anymore.

You look around frantically to no avail—you can’t see anything but white with black spots in your vision and you feel like you’re going blind. And you want to scream but when you open your mouth no sound comes and the blowing of wind grows louder and louder until it sounds like you’re at the beach.

Looking around, you see your legs knee deep in ocean water and you’re no longer hearing the rampage of wind and instead the crashing of waves against rocks. There isn’t a hill anymore, there’s a cliff, but still no sight of Joshua.

It’s still so bright, so bright and you close your eyes tightly again until you feel a shade fall over your figure. A gasp escapes your lips when you see what’s above you.

Wide wings, ornate with white and golden feathers, perched over Joshua’s back as he hovers above you. He’s not looking anywhere else now, only you.

His face glows and then he smiles and you close your eyes one last time but when you open them again, all you see is darkness.

You’ve never been great at remembering dreams. More often than not, you wake up with no remnants of the life you lived in your head the night before, and on the rare occasions that you do happen to recall something, it’s only just random snippets that also hardly make sense.

Last night was no different, although you do wake up with an uneasy feeling, not because of what you dreamed about—you don’t remember that—but because you know you dreamed about Joshua. It’s just the wake up call you need to tell yourself that maybe, just maybe, you’re spending more time with him than you should.

It’s a Saturday morning as you trudge out of bed and to the kitchen, trying to settle the weird feelings that course through your veins when you see your mother brewing a pot of tea. “How’d you sleep?” she asks, not looking up from the boiling water.

Shrugging as you grab a home-grown orange, you respond, “Well enough.”

“Can’t believe they have you going to the palace on the weekends too … I never had to work on Saturdays or Sundays.”

You wonder how she brings up her time at the castle so casually—you don’t know if you’ll ever understand her. “I really don’t have to—I can work on my own schedule basically whenever, as long as I get the courtyard finished by the end of three months.”

“And how’s that going?”

“Behind schedule. Obviously. That’s why I’m heading in again.”

Your mother smiles and walks over, ruffling your hair. “I’m glad you’re working hard on this—I can tell you’re enjoying it, as much as you didn’t want to go there.”

“It’s nice, I guess. I get to be creative, and get paid. Really, getting the money is all I care about,” you tell her casually, taking the peel off the orange and popping a piece into your mouth.

“You don’t talk about it much, but I’m assuming people don’t give you that hard of a time? You always come home fine.”

They do, it just doesn’t happen to be anything you’re not used to. Your mind flashes to Joshua and Seokmin for a moment, and you’re once again reminded of the unnerving fact that you did dream about the former, and you can’t even remember what it was about. “Things are fine.”

You’re three tutoring sessions in with Joshua, and it’s finally the day that you pull out your own copy of The Waste Land. “Oh thank god,” he says with a breath of relief when he sees it. “This paper has been bugging me forever—if we didn’t get started on it soon I might’ve combust.”

“I appreciate the vivid imagery,” you say dryly, “but I really did not need to picture that in my head.”

“Sorry,” Joshua says with a shrug as you sit across from him. “So what’re we gonna do today, Sunshine?”

“Hmm, get through the first part hopefully. We can read it back and forth and talk about it together, so you can take notes. It might be easier that way, so you can get all your thoughts and ideas out, and then it’ll be easier for you to write that paper.”

“Sounds boring.”

“I guess I’ll just pack my stuff and—”

“Okay! Okay! I was just joking. Let’s start, please,” he complies easily, and you smirk as you sit back down.

“Good to hear. Read this part.”

You’re around an hour and a half into the lesson, still working through the first part as Joshua frowns when you finish another stanza.

“Do we have to keep going?” he whines.

“Yes we do. Let’s work with this part now. Read it out for me,” you instruct, pointing out a stanza on your own paper.

“Why—” You give him a look. “—okay fine.”

‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;‘They called me the hyacinth girl.’—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could notSpeak, and my eyes failed, I was neitherLiving nor dead, and I knew nothing,Looking into the heart of light, the silence.Oed’ und leer das Meer.

When he’s done, Joshua looks up at you blankly. “If I’m being honest, I have zero clue what this means.”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “You’ve said that every time you read a new section, but I know that’s not true, because you literally always come up with something.”

Joshua scrunches up his face and slaps his hands to his cheeks in frustration. “But now I’m being serious! This is making no sense to me—I hate Literature, okay? My brain is dead right now and I don’t think I can do any more Sunshine.”

“We’ve been doing this for less than two hours,” you say bluntly. “Look—you said you like Greek mythology right? Try and draw some connections. Maybe that’ll make this more enjoyable.”

“I hardly think T.S. Elliot could produce anything I enjoy,” Joshua huffs as he tilts the page so he can read it better, “But fine. I still don’t get what about this has anything to do with mytho—oh!”

“Finally! You get it?”

“Hyacinthus!” You nod eagerly, gesturing your hands to tell him to go on. “Uh, it was that story with Apollo. Shit, what was the story again?” He looks up and taps at his chin, but when you open your mouth to help him out, Joshua sticks a hand in front of your face and shakes his head. “No wait, I remember. The one where they were in love but Apollo accidentally killed him when they were playing a game!”

“You’re right. The blood of Hyacinthus was eventually turned into flowers by Apollo to honor his death or something like that. In the context of this poem … the giver of the hyacinth flower is almost like a sign of—”

Joshua snaps his fingers in the air and grins. “Forgiveness!”

“Well, not exactly giving forgiveness, but asking for it.”

“Kind of like … saying you’re sorry?” Joshua smiles brighter when you nod. “Holy shit, maybe I do enjoy T.S. Elliot.”

You roll your eyes and point at his notebook and pen. “Good, now write that down. You are going to have to write about this, remember?”

Joshua pouts, but picks up the pen nevertheless. “Whatever you say Sunshine.”

“Joshua told me to tell you that he thinks T.S. Elliot sucks,” Seokmin says, coming up to you in the cafeteria as you polish off your own tray. It’s a large and grand area—an old ballroom that turned into a commonplace for the workers.

Large mirrors plate the walls, and across from you, you can watch Seokmin’s reflection as he sits down next to you. Rolling your eyes, you turn to look at him, “He’s only saying that because I told him to write the paper himself.”

Seokmin furrows his eyebrows as he places a white box, a little larger than the size of your hand, on the table. Glancing around, you catch people in the mirror watching you with wavering gazes before turning away when they find you looking at them.

Huff lightly, you turn your attention back to Seokmin. “What’s this?”

“Joshua told me to give it to you.”

That’s new. Tentatively, you lift the lid a little to peek inside, only finding a haphazard mess of stuffing paper with something purple concealed underneath. “Would it be a smart decision to open it right now?”

“Oh my gosh, it’s not an explosive or anything.”

“You don’t know that!”

Seokmin rolls his eyes himself this time. “Yes I do. I packed it.”

“Ugh, even worse. I’m not opening it if you’re around. That’s embarrassing.”

“Is not! I think that you should—” Seokmin is cut off by the sound of his own phone ringing, cursing under his breath when he sees the caller ID. For a moment, you consider peering over and taking a look, but Seokmin stands up too quickly. “I gotta go for a second. I’ll catch you before you leave!” he calls out when he’s already pushing his chair in and rushing off into the distance.

You laugh at his hurry, wondering what could possibly ensue such nervousness from the boy, but you quickly remind yourself that this is Seokmin and he gets the jitters when he even has to think about being around Mr. Park for more than twenty minutes.

Soon, you start to clean up your area yourself, putting your trays away and throwing away your trash in the weirdly fancy bins they have scattered around the hall. As your lunch break nears its end, you grab the oddly light box, your phone, and make your way back to 77.

The room is empty, safe for Jihoon who’s got his head buried in his laptop, and you think it’s a good time to check what’s inside. If it is an explosive, you’ll just have to apologize to Jihoon in the afterlife.

Opening the lid, those same, crumpled papers lay on top, but this time you notice a little white card in the middle. Pursing your lips, your eyes flicker to your side to see if Jihoon’s watching (he never is, but it doesn’t hurt to check), and when your privacy is confirmed, you flip the paper over.

There’s a message written in purple pen, adorning a handwriting that you can distinctly recognize as Joshua’s.

Thank you for all the help. I really owe you one.

You aren’t quite sure what he’s talking about, and you make a mental note to ask him about it when you see him later. Right now, you rummage through the papers, hands feeling the space beneath them before they land on a smooth layer of fabric.

Confused, you pull it out, only to see it’s a ribbon, much like the one tied around your own waist. Same color, same material, same emblem, the only difference being …

You glance down at your own robes where the ribbon has a small tear at one end from where the kitten had pawed at you. You have to blink a few times to realize what Joshua’s intentions were, and when you do, you can’t help the warm smile that begrudgingly makes its way onto your face.

Quickly, you tug the ends of the ribbon around your waist and let it unravel, taking the new ribbon and tying it just as your mother taught you. It’s the same thing as the one before, yes, but this is different. This is a gift.

Donning Joshua’s (your?) ribbon, you start to clean up your desk space and tuck your old ribbon back into your bag. You forgot to tell Seokmin you’re tutoring Joshua this afternoon, so as you pack up you text him a sincere ‘thank you’ message, and let him know that you might not be able to see him before you go. You don’t get a response, which is slightly odd since Seokmin seems to always be on top of things, but you shrug it off and remind yourself that he’s busy.

Today, you make your way down the smaller halls with a little skip to your step. Joshua showed you this pathway earlier so it’d be easier to get to his study room without being seen; it’s a nice little series of corridors that are a little dimmer and narrower, but still hold the lavish feel you always get walking through the palace.

You can hear the voices of a few people, but it seems quiet, hushed, and somehow a little heated—in other words, caught up in their own world. Being in the castle for almost two months now, you’ve learned to realize what kind of situations need your caution and which ones don’t. This is the latter.

You smile to yourself, smoothing your palms over the new, not-torn silk ribbon around your waist, as you near the second entrance to his study, about to enter another hallway to the final stretch and—shit.

When you turn a corner, your heart stops.

You turn back and run down the corridor. You don’t know if Seokmin saw you, and quite frankly, you don’t care.

It didn’t take you more than a second to put two and two together and suddenly you’re pushed back into your nine year old body—you don’t really know what’s happening or why it’s happening, all you know is that it hurts.

You’re going to have to apologize to Joshua for flaking on him. Surely he’ll understand that you were just a little bit upset by the sight you had to see.

After all, you did just witness Seokmin, quite literally your only real friend in this damn castle, speaking to Advisor Lee, the man who tore your mother’s life down. And now is when everything starts to click, because you realize that Seokmin is Advisor Lee’s son.

Of course he was close with Joshua—he probably grew up on these very castle grounds. Of course they attended the same classes—his father was the King’s advisor and cousin.

It makes sense now, and in your bleary haze as you make your way back to 77, you’re not sure what to do. You rush past a few other staff members murmuring under their breath when they see you, and you usually wouldn’t be bothered by the sight but now you remember that this is the first time you’ve cried since you got here, and it’s all because of that man who started this all in the first place.

As you lock yourself in one of the staff bathrooms, you catch your disheveled appearance and furiously wipe at your cheeks. Fuck. You shouldn’t be crying. You can’t be crying over this, because god knows you did not spend years thickening your skin for it to be cut open like this.

You should’ve known. Should’ve fucking known.

You try to stop your tears, telling yourself that they’re all the same. That you shouldn’t have expected anything more from these people, that you should’ve picked up on how Seokmin was definitely someone important, that you should’ve never fallen for his and Joshua’s sweet games.

“Shit,” you gasp out as a sob rips from your throat, and you clutch the side of the sink as uneasiness bubbles up in your stomach and spreads through your limbs until you’re trembling.

Maybe you let him get so close because you thought he saw you for something else. Maybe you believed that he saw you as more than a pity project. More than someone who was defined by their past.

Joshua and Seokmin—they knew. They knew everything this whole damn time.

And now you’re angry—you’re so fucking angry. Tugging at your hair, ripping up your clothes, and thrashing your limbs around kind of angry. The kind of anger that poisons your bones and makes your body ache until you can’t take it anymore. The kind of anger that wraps its hand around your throat and squeezes the air out of you until you can do nothing but relent. The kind of anger that has you looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking, what the fuck.

The worst thing is you can’t even be mad at him. You want to be mad at him and you want to be mad at Joshua. You want to have the will to go up to them and slap the smiles off their faces because how dare Seokmin be the own flesh and blood of Advisor Lee, and how dare Joshua know and not have the guts to tell you.

Because after everything, Seokmin and Joshua were your friends and—fuck—they were some damn good friends. Your best friends, maybe, if you ever had the liberty to even know what that means.

And it wasn’t because they were overly nice, or excessively cheery, or because Seokim was always grinning and Joshua was always smirking, but because when they talked to you, they were talking to you, and not some shell of your past.

Finally, now, when you press your face into your hands as your last attempt to calm yourself down, you feel like you can breathe. You’re not sure where your head is at, and something tells you that it’s gonna take a damn long time to figure it out.

You’re a little lost.

You were just trying to get to the South end entrance of the courtyard but you must have taken a wrong turn or something because you’re walking down a corridor you’ve quite literally never seen before. It’s similar to the hallways of the rest of the palace, but it’s slightly taller and a bit more narrow, and the workers walking through wear faces that you aren’t familiar with. You’re a little nervous about where your feet are taking you, and you consider just turning around and retracing your steps when you hear a voice.

Seokmin’s voice is loud when he calls your name, and you press your lips together tightly when it rings in your ears. “What are you doing here? You usually don’t come down to the South e—” he starts to say when walks up to you from a corridor to your left.

“Nothing,” you reply briskly, turning on your heel so your back is pretty much facing him. “I was just leaving actually.”

“What—hey! Slow down! Where’re you going?”

“77,” you mutter under your breath as you speed up your pace.

“Slow down!”

You don’t relent. “Seokmin, don’t you have stuff to do right now instead of following me around?” You can’t see the look on his face, but you can only imagine it’s one of defeat.

“I—” his voice is quieter this time, “Okay.”

The footsteps that were one following you die out, and as you browse the corners of your vision, you conclude that he’s finally left you alone. You should feel relieved—happy that he’s not bothering you now—but sometimes uneasy churns inside of you, and you aren’t sure what it is.

The rest of your day goes as it usually does in a palace. You tend to your work and as it hits late afternoon, you start making your way to Joshua’s study. Once again, you’re not sure where your head is at.

“Is everything alright?” Joshua asks you the second you walk in. “Seokmin told me you looked upset and wouldn’t talk to him so I—”

You inhale deeply before, putting your hands up in a stopping motion. “I can’t tutor you anymore.”

Joshua looks at you weirdly. “What, why?”

“Or talk to you,” you add.

“What—”

“Just—just don’t talk to me. Or ask me to tutor you. Or ask for my help, or ask to help me—you know what just like—I dunno, stay away from me.”

“Sunshine, where is this coming from?” Joshua pinches the bridge of his nose, and you don’t think he’s understanding the weight of his words.

“Why do you even talk to me?” you snap. “Like seriously, if you can bother any worker in the castle, why does it have to be me?”

Hurt flashes in Joshua’s face for hardly a second before he frowns deeply. “I—what’s going on?”

“Do you and Seokmin think this is funny? Being nice to me like—” You throw your hands in the air. “—like I’m some kind of joke?”

“What? No, Sunshine, what are you even talking about?”

“I know who Seokmin’s dad is.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “So if Seokmin still wants to know why I don’t feel like talking to him, maybe consider telling him that I’m not interested in being around someone whose father is literally the reason me and my mom’s lives have been so fucked up.”

Joshua winces at the last statement. You’ve been irritated with him, annoyed with him, and all that petty stuff, sure, but this is different.

“Seokmin isn’t like that, okay? He isn’t—you know—like that.”

“And how would you know?” you snap. “Prince Joshua, what do you know about having people be, quote unquote, above you? You have everything in front of you, and when people look at you and Seokmin it’s not ‘cause of some fucked up scandal which pinned your mom as the kingdom’s slut of the century, it’s ‘cause they literally bow down to your presence and—”

Something tells you to stop yourself. Maybe it’s the fact that you know you’re not actually angry at them. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re so fucking tired of being angry all the time that you can’t take it anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that when you finally look him in the eye, Joshua looks sad.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says meekly. “Seokmin should—we should’ve let you know earlier. I promise we didn’t be your friend just ‘cause of that,” he rambles. “I mean obviously we knew about it but we didn’t wanna bring it up because everyone was bringing it up and—I’m sorry. You know Seokmin isn’t like that.”

“And you?” you quip, but you know your retorts hold no weight. “How do I know you aren’t like—like that.”

Joshua falters and you watch him gulp. He looks tired and his lips are red from how hard he’s been chewing on them as you speak. “Y-you know,” his voice is quiet, “You know I’m not.”

You have your answer before you even have to think about it, but you pause for a few moments, waiting to respond. All that comes out is a shallow breath as you look down and squeeze your eyes shut. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I just—” You sigh weakly. “I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.” Joshua doesn’t respond—he knows you’re thinking.

You wonder what to do with yourself. You’re not angry. Not sad either. Uneasy? Maybe. It’s the uncertainty of it all. You don’t understand why you’re not mad, and you don’t understand why you want to forgive him so easily, but you’re starting to realize that you should stop trying to understand the things that might never make sense.

Finally, you nod. “It’s fine.”

“Sorry again. I guess we didn’t wanna make that whole thing all about you. Because like, you’re you, and whatever happened is separate.”

You purse your lips and nod. “Thank you.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

You glare at him. “Dipshit, no it wasn’t!”

“I’m taking this as a sign that you’re feeling better. Am I correct?”

You bite back a smile and shrug. “I guess.”

“Cool, ‘cause I think you’d like to know that my mom stopped by the courtyard the other day.”

“Oh yeah? What’d she say? This is all for her isn’t it—hopefully she liked it.”

“Yeah no, she said it was great. She thought the patterns of the pathway were cool and so she asked me if I could figure out why they were designed like that and I said no. By the way, why did you design them like that?”

“There’s this song I like. It’s called Isohel, and when I first heard it, I liked it a lot,” you explain. “Searched up what it means and stuff and then a few weeks later I was taking some filler class for the credits and my professor goes on some tangent about god-knows-what, and somehow he brings up pictures of an isohel map. An isohel—it’s basically a line which maps out the places that have the same duration of sunshine. Pretty cool, I think.”

“Is that what the pathways are? Are they—what is it—an isohel?”

“Mhm. On an isohel map, they’re not always just lines—they come around full circle sometimes so it looks like these funky, squiggly ovals sometimes,” you ramble. “So I took one of those circle-ish things and broke it up and pieced it together like a pathway.”

“That’s really smart.” Joshua pauses. “You’re really smart.”

It’s not the first time someone’s told you that. Fuck, it’s not even the first time Joshua’s told you that, but it feels different now. He means it, you know it in your bones.

“I-I dunno,” you stammer. “I guess. It just relates to the theme of the sun. My mom taught me about it when I was younger—I loved the sun.”

“So that’s what the theme of your courtyard is? Me and Seokmin have been betting on that for ages.”

You scoff, “You guys bet on that? Seriously, do you have nothing better to do with your time?”

“Clearly not!” he shoots back, causing you to laugh. “Are you really feeling better now?” Joshua asks sincerely, and when you smile and nod, he grins. “Hey, I just realized you talked to me about your feelings—”

“Don’t mention it,” you snap gruffly, crossing your arms over your chest.

Joshua clicks his tongue and chuckles. “There’s the Sunshine I know.”

It’s the next day when you walk into 77. Jihoon’s desk is empty, Mr. Park is just about to leave as you enter and you bow to him quickly as you settle in your desk. Seokmin is in the corner watering the yarrows, seeming to not have noticed you yet.

You watch him closely, smiling softly when you notice he stops before he can overwater them. Quietly, you set your stuff down and Seokmin begins to talk. “Oh, Jihoon, Mr. Park was just looking for you—oh,” he cuts himself flat when he turns around and sees you.

You’re not sure what to do, because Joshua didn’t exactly tell you if he told Seokmin about your conversation and what not, but the look on Seokmin’s face is telling you that he’s just a little behind on the news.

“Hey,” you say casually, throwing a hand up to wave at him as you set your bag down on your desk. Seokmin opens his mouth and then closes it a few times, as if he’s searching for the right words but they don’t quite come out for a few moments.

“Joshua told me that, uh, you know that—” He pauses and glances at you, trying to watch for any hints of anger on your face, but none comes.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say with a shrug, and Seokmin has to blink twice because he’s not sure he heard you correctly at all.

“W-what?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “I said don’t worry about it,” you state again, and then add more softly, “You’re not your father. I get it.” You get it more than anyone. “Anyways, did you get the workers to start planting the hyacinths?”

Seokmin shakes his head once to snap himself back into reality and then shakes his head again a second time. “Wait no, I mean—wait, yes! I mean yes! I did do that—I should go remind them to get on that,” he rambles quickly, clearly a little flustered.

You chuckle. “It’s good to see you’ve been watering the yarrows properly now. Mr. Park finally beat it into you?”

“Y-yeah I guess. I’ve been getting better at remembering them all,” he tells you, starting to fall into a more casual tone. It’s normal, you think. Nice and normal. Nice and normal and just what you need.

“What are you doing here?”

When you turn around with your bag slung over your shoulder, you’re surprised to see Joshua. “Um, working?”

“It’s a Saturday night,” he states, lips pinched together in a funny expression, like he can’t figure you out.

“I think I know that,” you chuckle. “I didn’t know if I could come in on Monday—I need to stop by the university campus for something—so I just came in today to take care of some stuff.”

“You’re a dedicated worker huh … you should just work here forever—the pay is great.”

“Mm, I’m not sure about that,” you say honestly as you look him up and down. It strikes you now that Prince Joshua truly is a handsome man. Dark velvety robes that are even more grand than the ones you’re used to seeing on him, well fit dress pants against his legs and shiny leather shoes that seem to fit his image perfectly. “Anyways, I heard there’s a ball tonight? You’re not going?”

Joshua shrugs as he turns around and starts walking, waving you over to follow him. “C’mon follow me.” You contemplate your choices before telling yourself, what’s the worst that could happen, scurrying on after him. “I left—it got boring, so I got about twenty-five minutes before someone calls me and asks me to come back. My bets are on it being Seokmin ‘cause he’ll get bored.”

You snort at that as the familiarity of this route starts to sink in. “Hey are we going to my …”

“Yeah. Seokmin told me you finally got it named, and I want to check it out.”

“Uh, yeah,” you murmur bashfully—you hadn’t expected Joshua to be that interested in it. You walk through the empty corridors to the hallway that has the North entrance of the courtyard, and Joshua cranes his neck up to look at the golden plaque that rests above the entrance.

“Sol Invictus, huh.”

You nudge him on the side playfully. “You know what that means, Mr. Latin Genius?”

“Of course I do,” he retorts with a roll of his eyes. “Sun god, or whatever,”

“God of sun, but you were close enough I guess,” you mutter as you walk through. The courtyard looks different in the night. It’s nearly done, and as the little warm lights you had placed in intervals along the path light up the scene, you can’t help but feel overwhelming pride with how well you’ve done.

“C’mon, let’s sit here,” he says, pointing down at the circular patch of grass that surrounds the pond in the middle. Joshua sits down first and you watch him carefully before quickly sitting next to him as well.

The grass is cool under your skin, but as a comfortable silence envelopes you and Joshua, you start to think you really don’t mind.

“I think lots of people think I’m stupid or something,” Joshua finally speaks up, and some uncomfortable feeling boils in your stomach at the words. “You know, the only thing people usually compliment me on is my fencing, really. And fencing is one of those things that, if you’ve been doing it as long as I have, you sort of gotta be good at it.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“I know. Thank you.” There’s a silence as he reaches over the stone lining of the hyacinth beds, plucking a few from the shrubs.

“Joshua!” you complain. “I had those planted just last week.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, handing the two he plucked to you. You don’t hesitate to keep your palms open for him, his fingers brushing over the skin of your arms as he does so. You rub the smooth petals between your fingers and a thumb, bringing one close to your chest before taking the other and handing it back to Joshua.

He looks at you, eyes clearly confused, but holds it to his own chest anyways. With your hands behind you on the ground, you lean back and look up at the sky, letting your shoulders relax. The night air pinches at your skin, but the soft fabric of Joshua tuxedo is warm as it brushes next to you.

“Why’d you name this pond Eridenus?” Joshua asks, pointing at the plaque by the pebble lining which spells out the word in fancy lettering.

“You don’t know where it’s from?” you sigh, lifting your head so you can shoot him a stern look. Joshua rolls his eyes and nudges your cheek with his shoulder, motioning you to lean back down at him.

“You know I’m a rascal—I’m forgetful. Tell me what it means.”

“It’s confirmed: you’re a fake mythology fan. I’m suing the universe.” Joshua chuckles and pokes you, egging you to go on. “Do you remember the story of Phaethon?”

Joshua hums. “Uh, son of Helios. Didn’t believe that he was his son. Asked to ride his carriage but lost control and almost burned the Earth?”

You shrug. “Well that’s most of it I guess. He’s racing down to the earth and everything is chaos—rivers boiling, forests on fires, people turning to ash—and so Zeus throws his bolt at him and kills Phaethon right in the sky.”

“Kind of like the story of Icarus. But the opposite I guess. Instead of getting too close to the sun, he brings the sun too close to the earth.”

“You could put it like that. They have the same meaning, I think. But anyways, Phaethon falls out of the carriage and as he dies he falls into this river called Eridenus.”

“Oh.” Joshua’s voice is quiet as you both watch the gentle water lap back and forth in front of you. The small waves hitting the stone barriers of the pound is the only sound that permeates the night sky, besides your shared breaths and the occasional whistling of wind.

“It’s kind of like—” You.

“Don’t say it.” Joshua’s words are crisp and short, and he doesn’t look at you. You want to say the words—I’m sorry—but they get stuck in your throat and ripple through your limbs as you scoot closer to him.

“Anyways,” Joshua finally says, but the word is only followed with silence.

“I think you need to get back to the ball,” you tell him quietly, lifting your head from his shoulder. Your skin burns from where it was previously pressed against him and you silently chide yourself for letting yourself get so close.

Joshua finally turns to face you, and you’re surprised when he chuckles. “So eager to get rid of me, Sunshine?” You scoff, pushing him away gently.

“I-I just don’t want you to get in trouble!” you stutter as you push yourself off the ground, Joshua following suit.

“Aw, so you care about me?” His eyes crinkle up in that familiar way when he says it and you can’t help the childish grin that makes its way onto your face.

“More like I don’t want you to complain to me about how you got scolded!”

“Mm, sounds a lot like you care about me,” Joshua counters, returning your smile with one of his own. You roll your eyes and carefully skip in your dress toward the exit on the North end of the courtyard.

When you almost trip over your robes, Joshua catches you and his rough palm presses against the small of your back as you regain your balance, the two of you giggling together as he drops you off at 77 before heading to the ballroom.

It’s almost laughable how happy you are. Silly you for forgetting that fairytales don’t happen in real life.

The walls look brighter, the chandeliers that hang from the ceiling seem to glitter a bit more, the ground seems smoother; you enjoy walking through the castle in a way you never thought you could.

It’s a normal evening and you’re nearing the end of your time at the castle, but you choose to ignore the odd feeling you get when you think too long about leaving this place. There’s still more work to get done, and you don’t want to spend your time focusing on things that you know will only distract you.

You’re in the middle of Sol Invictus today, looking through a paper and phone as you go through some old plans and checklists, trying to figure out if there is anything you should do before you pack your bags and head towards Joshua’s study.

Just as you’re about to unclick your pen and tuck your things away and head back to 77, someone speaks to you from behind.

“A lovely courtyard we have here.” You know this voice. Everyone knows this voice.

Your blood runs cold as you turn around and face the King, neck craning down immediately as you bow down, stepping away while you hold your hands behind your back.

“G-good evening sir,” you stutter, almost tripping over the stone of your own pathways when you stand up and straighten your back. It’s your first time in years seeing him in person, and you tell yourself as your stomach churns that this was bound to happen at some point.

“Care to tell me about what you’ve got going on here?” he asks, walking around the little stone circle that surrounds Eridenus. “You’re the head of the project, is that right?”

“Yes sir,” you reply quickly, bowing again slightly when he finally goes full circle stopping next to you. His hands are behind his back as you watch him look over the almost complete fields of flowers. “I—uh—it’s called Sol Invictus,” you say. “The—”

“God of Sun.”

“Y-yes sir. Apollo and Helios,” you begin to explain. “Which is why I’ve used these flowers—they’re from one of Apollo’s love stories. They’re quite beautiful, if you ask me, and they fit the kingdom’s colors well.”

The King hums in response. “That’s interesting,” he finally tells you, looking down at Eridenus in front of you. You follow his gaze, staring down at the clear water as you feel your heart rise to your throat in anticipation. You don’t really know what you expect, but if you were preparing yourself for anything, it wasn’t the King saying, “It’s my understanding that you talk to Prince regularly, is that right?”

Your breath hitches in your throat and lodges there along with your heart. “Well, I wouldn’t say—”

“I was speaking to Mr. Park just yesterday.” Oh. “You seem to be a very smart, professional young lady, and it shows in your work.” This can’t be good. “However, I am obligated to remind you: there are boundaries within these walls between the family and its staff.”

“Of course sir. I understand.”

The King watches you carefully, and just when you think he's done, he continues. “There are guards around the castle at all times. there isn't much they miss, I’m sure you know.” This isn't good. This really isn't good.

“It's quite impressive,” you agree, thumbs pressed against each other behind your back. You hear the king take a deep breath, and you wonder if he sucked the air out of you doing so.

"I've heard the pond here is named Eridenus.”

"Y-yes sir."

"Interesting," he murmurs. "Phaeton asked for a bit more than he could handle, didn’t he?" the King chuckles but you hardly hear it over the way your heart pounds. "Let mistakes be learned from, alright?"

You feel your knuckle might buckle. Is this how your mother felt? All those years ago?

The King’s words aren’t nearly as harsh as the advisor who berated your mother, but still, your body sways—you can’t tell if it’s all in your head with all the thoughts that race through, or if it’s the sheer weight of his words that has you almost stumbling.

“It was good to meet you. I’ve enjoyed what you’ve done with this space,” he comments finally, and you step away to face him 

“The pleasure was mine, sir,” you bid, bowing as he turns and walks back to his assistants who whisk him away. You watch the King fade into the distance and disappear to the North end.

He spoke to you for a reason, and the King was right. You are smart. You are smart and professional, and tonight, you know exactly what you must do.

“We need to talk,” you state firmly, closing the door behind you in Joshua’s study. You’re supposed to tutor him tonight, and he doesn’t look up at you as he writes away in his notebook, a smirk making its way onto his face as he starts to speak.

“That’s all I get, Sunshine? No ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ ‘how are you?’” he teases, but then he looks up at you and catches the grim look on your face and the sound of him dropping his pen echoes through the room. “What is it?”

He stands up so quickly that his chair falls down, but Joshua pays no mind to it, his hands gripping the end of his table as his eyes bore into yours. “What is it?” he asks again and this time he’s hissing it. You know he doesn’t mean to be harsh, but your heart sinks even further than you could imagine.

“Joshua,” and when you say it, your voice is meek. You shouldn’t cry over this—fuck, you hate crying, especially if it’s because of his people. You’ve done more than enough crying over them in your life—you can’t cry over any of this anymore.

“Sunshine, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” Joshua eggs you on worriedly, moving away from his desk so he can walk over to you. One hand cups your cheek, and you’re struck by the realization that this is the most intimate he’s ever been with you.

What unfortunate circumstances, you think.

“Your father,” you say, having half a mind to push his hand away from your face, but you keep it there because you don’t think you’ll have the will to keep on talking if he’s not touching you.

“What about him?” Joshua asks hastily, grip on your jaw tightening.

“He knows, Joshua, he knows.”

“What are you talking about?” Joshua furrows his eyebrows and asks the question but there’s that voice in his head telling him that he already knows the answer.

“A guard saw us at the courtyard and—”

“We didn’t even do anything,” Joshua tries to protest and with just one look at his face, you can tell he’s trying to figure out ways to rebut whatever that stupid guard saw that night.

“Joshua, you know we can’t do anything about this,” you say exasperatedly, your voice a little louder now that you clutch the elbow of his arm that’s holding your face. “I overheard him talking to Mr. Park.”

Joshua’s eyes widen. “Mr. Park knows? What about your job? Are you going to get to finish the project? Are you—”

“Joshua,” you choke out, and for once you cannot stop your tears. “I don’t care about my goddamn project, I care about you.”

“You love that courtyard,” Joshua argues, and you wince at the way he’s still thinking about that damn courtyard. You brush his hand off of you and for a second it looks like his heart has just broken in two, but then you reach for his face and hold his cheeks with your own two hands.

His skin is smooth and supple with the light grain of stubble that itches against your palm near the underside of your jaw. “Joshua,” you whisper, and it’s now that you feel the warm drops of water hit your skin. Joshua is crying and you don’t think you’ve seen anything that saddens you more. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” you beg, fruitlessly wiping away his tears as he silently cries into your hands.

“Why’re you acting like this is the end?” he hiccups and he must hate the sound because he slaps a hand over his mouth and buries his face into it.

“Joshua, no,” you murmur and pull him into you so that his hands can fall and you can cradle his head into your neck, letting your own tears drip onto the silk of his shirt. “It’s not the end,” you try to reason, but he pulls his head away to look down at you with glassy eyes.

“You—you’re lying to me,” Joshua says harshly.

“What are you talking about, I don’t—”

“I know you. I-I—fuck—I fucking know you,” he spits out, causing you to falter backwards. “Why do you think we can’t work this out? I’m the prince, I can—I can change everything and we can be together—”

“Your father —”

“Who gives a fuck, I’ll be king soon anyways and—”

“What if he does something?! What if he revokes your title?”

You’re met with stillness and you think Joshua might just comply with your silent plan but suddenly he’s shaking his head vigorously.

“Okay, then let him. I don’t care about being prince, I—”

“You can’t throw your life away Joshua, not for me!” you protest, holding his face again so you can focus his gaze on yours.

“It’s my life—why, why not?”

“Because I love you. And you can’t sacrifice this—this amazing life—for me!”

“I-I can’t—I don’t,” he stumbles and searches for words as tears fall from his lashes and roll down your hands, your wrists, your arms, “—can’t do it, not without you.”

“You’ve been doing it for years, Joshua, you’ll learn,” you tell him, using one hand to grip his cheek, the other to wipe away at your own.

“You don’t love me,” he chokes out. “You—you wouldn’t do this to me if you loved me.”

“Don’t say that, please.” You press your forehead against his and close your eyes because you can’t bear to look at his tear-streaked cheeks any longer. It’s quiet for a moment, and you can’t help but think that this is the calm before the storm.

“We’ll work it out,” Joshua finally whispers, pulling his head back and cradling the back of your neck with his hands. You don’t say anything, and Joshua doesn’t give you the chance anyway. “Let me have you,” he begs. “We’ll work everything out and it’ll be okay,” he says over a strangled sob, “Just—just be with me tonight.”

And so when you nod, he wipes his tears and pokes his head out of the study to make sure the corridor is empty before tugging your wrist and pulling you to his room. It’s big and grand, just as you’d expect for the prince but Joshua doesn’t want you to look at the intricate walls or the tall ceilings or the golden furniture.

Joshua makes you focus on his burning touch and lets you explore his mouth, his body. And stripped, your bodies are so hot and with wet lips against sheen skin, you feel you might melt into each other’s bones.

Teeth against teeth, nails scraping against skin so hard it digs into the muscle, bruising holds, and sloppy kisses—the feeling is so intense and it crashes onto you and Joshua so hard that you have no other choice but to grip onto each other as you would a lifeline.

And your bodies move so languidly through the sheets, like waves against a shore, or like the wind whistling through the air, until you're trembling and drifting off in each others’ arms.

It would have been perfect. Perfect, if only Joshua had woken up and you were next to him.

Joshua is lost.

After a frantic hour of running around the palace, asking if anyone had seen you, looking for Seokmin to see if he had any answers, Joshua finds himself in the middle of Sol Invictus. And he racks his brain for answers, for a smidge of anything that gives him a reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t in his arms this morning.

Joshua is lost.

He’s staring at the ground now, and all Joshua can wonder is if it was all a dream. If that moment you both looked out his glass window at the stars before you kissed him on his bed was just a figment of his imagination.

He wonders if you actually did thread your soft fingers through his messy hair and hold him close as both hit your peaks together, and he wonders if your lips really did ghost over his skin as he drifted off into sleep.

Joshua almost doesn’t feel Advisor Lee’s hand on his shoulder. He only hears his voice, really, and when he does, the sound grates against his ears.

“She’s gone.” Advisor Lee’s voice has always been harsh, and Joshua wonders how the same man could’ve produced something—someone—as lovely as Seokmin.

“What are you talking about?” Joshua is good at feigning ignorance, but his voice still quivers.

“I know. Your father and mother know too.”

Joshua is lost.

Joshua’s eyes snap up and suddenly his hands are at Advisor Lee’s collar. When the older man doesn’t seem surprised, Joshua sags. “What the fuck do you know. What—” He inhales sharply as he lets go and steps back, inching closer to Eridenus. “—what did you do to her?”

“She left herself.”

“What are—” Joshua heaves. “What?”

He’s doing it before he even realizes it. Stumbling toward Eridenus with his lungs and heart mushed together so tight he’s got a hole in his chest, Joshua steps over the stone lining and crashes into the shallow water.

Seokmin’s face pales when he walks in on the scene. Coming into the courtyard from the South end, he sees Joshua’s figure before he even recognizes it’s him.

That’s not Joshua, he thinks as he watches his father stand in front of Eridenus where the prince sits. That’s not Joshua.

Joshua’s shoulders are always sharp and his eyes are bright. Joshua’s smile is full and his hands are always ready to love.

This isn’t Joshua, and Seokmin feels it in his gut when he approaches Eridenus.

Joshua sits in the middle of the pond. His knees are bent and the cold water stops at the middle of his chest, leaving the upper third of his body dry. His royal coat and velvet pants, his polished shoes and silk button up, are submerged and rub against the algae coated rocks on the bottom of Eridenus.

Advisor Lee doesn’t speak as Seokmin stands next to him, Eridenus in front of the two with the prince in the middle. Joshua doesn’t say a thing. In fact, it seems like he doesn’t even know Seokmin is here now. His neck is tilted down and he stares at his soaked slacks blankly.

Seokmin is stunned.

This can’t be Joshua, because Joshua’s shoulders are always sharp but now they are hunched over and hardly moving, even as he breathes short breaths through his pale lips.

This can’t be Joshua, because Joshua’s eyes are always bright but now they are dull and dead. Seokmin knows Joshua’s eyes are always bright, but he failed to realize what exactly it was that was lighting them up.

Seokmin thought it was the sun but he was wrong, because even now, as Joshua sits under broad daylight, he is still and his eyes are dull.

Two weeks since you’ve seen Joshua’s face and you miss his smile.

You miss his smile, the one that crinkles up all the way to his eyes when he laughs at one of your snarky comments. The one that shines his teeth and the one that seemed to never leave your sight when you were with him.

You miss his smile, but his laugh still rings in your ear, early in the mornings when you blink awake and late in the nights when you gasp in hearty breaths and try not to cry. When you take the walk through the city to your work at Mr. Min’s bookshop, the ringing of the street vendors’ bells are bright and cheery, and sometimes you can hear Joshua’s laugh in the mix.

One month since Joshua last looked you in the eye and he wishes he didn’t know why you left. He wishes he was oblivious, because then he could be angry at you—he could have a reason to forget, to move on, to stop loving you.

Joshua knows why you left and it hurts more than anything because this is nothing like a betrayal at all. You left because you love him, and Joshua cannot dispute that—not now, not ever.

Sometimes he walks through Sol Invictus and plucks a hyacinth, letting it blow off into the wind. He hopes you’ll find the lost petals one day.

Two months since you’ve been in the castle and your life is normal. Well, as normal as it can get for you.

Your first semester of the new year started a few days ago, and you’ve since moved into an apartment near your campus. Your mother thinks it’ll be good for you, and you understand her sentiment but you don’t think she understands.

Ironic, you think. You’ve gone full circle, really. Maybe it does run in your blood, like all the whispers said.

You realize you’re okay with that. Maybe you made a mistake with Joshua, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you almost royally fucked up your reputation more than it already was (thankfully, the Royal Counsel was better at keeping it under the wraps this time), maybe no one cares. Maybe your life is a little bit more messed up now, but again—you’re okay with that.

You miss Joshua. You don’t think you’ll ever stop missing him. You’re also okay with that. You’re starting to realize that you’re okay with pretty much anything when it comes to Joshua. And once again, you’re okay with that.

Six months since he’s seen you and Joshua’s chest aches. Partly because he was distracted during fencing and took a jab straight in the middle but mostly because he misses you.

He stands on the balcony of the royal dining hall, waiting for lunch to be served as he looks over the palace and the kingdom that spread beyond. Joshua sees the tall buildings, the rows of houses, and the infamous Hong University that lay in the middle of the commontown around the hill the castle sits on, and he wonders.

You told him you’d be taking an astronomy class this semester, which should have started a month ago. Joshua is old enough and smart enough to know that collegiate astronomy is more than just the moon and the sun and the pretty little dots that button the sky, but still, he wonders.

The sun and its sunlight, rotations and revolutions.

Will you think about him?

Joshua doesn’t need to wonder—he knows.

The sun is bright today and even though it’s winter, the clouds are nowhere to be seen. It’s a bit of a rare occurrence for the cold months, but Joshua doesn’t mind. When he looks at the blue sky and briefly glances at the sun, his shadow on the stone floor, the reflection of light against the railing, Joshua breathes in the chilly air, filling his lungs deeply.

He knows.

Eight months and you still hear Joshua’s laugh.

You hear it when wind whistles in your ear as you walk to a flower shop to buy pot. You hear it when you look up at the sun and imagine you’re in the middle of Sol Invictus. You hear it when you crouch down on your balcony, placing the little hyacinth into the pot and packing soil around the base.

You miss Joshua, you miss his smile, and more than anything, you miss his laugh. Right now, as you bathe in the memories of a man so far yet so close, you realize that you can miss him all you want, but you won’t forget. You can’t ever forget.

Ten months later and Joshua’s chest still aches, but he’s okay with that.

He sucks in heavy breaths as his lungs search for air on the fencing match, his trainer leaving the room, leaving Joshua after his request to take a break. Through the rush of blood in his ears, Joshua hardly hears the door behind him open.

“Mingyu told me you’ve been struggling with fencing recently,” his mother says, approaching him. Joshua shuffles in his fencing gear, throwing his helmet to the side.

“I’ve just hit a stump.”

“Something tells me this is more than just a stump,” she inquires as Joshua kicks off his boots.

Joshua scoffs, “What makes you say that?”

“Joshua, what’s wrong?”

He pauses, about to pull off his gloves when he looks up at the Queen. “Everyone in the Royal Counsel knows. I’m sure you know too.”

His mother sighs heavily when he stands up, and she follows him out the training room and toward the Residency Quart. There’s a silence that gaps the mother and son—not that Joshua isn’t used to it. He still smiles and grins, he hugs and he bows, and oftentimes it is genuine, but there’s a silence that always follows. A silence that he never forgets.

A silence he holds when he watches the same kitten you held cross his path when he walks through Sol Invictus, slightly bigger but just as nimble and heart warming. A silence he holds when his eyes gloss over the set of Percy Jackson books in the shelves of his room. A silence he holds when he sinks into his covers and presses his nose to the sheets, wondering if he’ll ever be able to taste your skin on his tongue again.

“I won’t ever understand what went on between you two,” his mother finally says.

“There isn’t anything for you to understand,” Joshua tells her, heading towards his room, but his mother stops him and he narrows his eyes. “What? I felt bad for her, alright? When I saw her all those years ago when it all happened out in the gardens—”

“Joshua, what are you talking about?”

“That’s what you want to know, right? Why I talked to her? Why I—I love her?” His mother gives him a stern look, but Joshua doesn’t relent. He’s starting to realize he’s been too comfortable with this silence. “I never asked you to understand it, but I’ll tell you anyway. Maybe because I pitied her or felt sorry for her or all the same stuff, and maybe I didn’t think she deserved to be ostracized for something she never did but—whatever. I’m not asking you to understand, but I am asking you to leave it alone.”

“You’re my son, Joshua.”

The Queen is Joshua’s mother and she doesn’t understand. She may never understand, and Joshua is okay with that because if he’s being honest, he doesn't think anyone will ever understand. He’s okay with that too.

You will understand, and for him, that’s enough.

You get two letters from the Royal Counsel in your lifetime. You received the first over a year ago—the one you opened with Mr. Min standing across from you in his little bookstore under dingy lights and over the dusty counter. The one you crumpled up and tossed into the dustbin without as much as a second though. The one that led you down a long, winding path which brought you to Joshua.

You receive the second now, standing in your apartment as you look down, except this time you aren’t staring at a paper, you’re staring at the screen of your laptop. You giggle quietly to yourself; Joshua must have taken the Royal Counsel up on still sending letters.

You’ve only looked at the subject of the email so far. It’s got your name and the word “request” written in bold, and you wonder what they want.

Glossing over the text, a wave of nostalgia washes over you. “The Hong Royal Counsel wishes to find you well, as we present a request.” Same shit, huh? “You will have the opportunity to lead a project as you please and earn a notable compensation in payment for your efforts.” Yeah, pretty much.

It’s the same thing, you realize. They want you back—for what, you aren’t sure, but you have a feeling that it doesn’t really matter. Because signed, at the bottom of the email isn’t the usual, “Hong Royal Counsel,” but instead is, “Hong Royal Family.”

The little sun emblem sits below the signatures of the King and Queen, and you press your eyes shut and hold the screen close to your chest, silently praying under your breath that is not a dream.

You don’t know what happened, don’t know what Joshua told them, but to be frank, you don’t care. You’re smart enough to read between the lines.

I don’t understand, they're telling you, But that doesn’t mean I can’t try.

It’s your first day at the castle. Well, your second first day.

When you park your car at the base of the hill, you smile down at the silk over your waist. You abandoned the new ribbon sent to you by the Court, instead donning the one that came to you in a little white box ten months ago. Sometimes, when you hold it close enough, you still think you can smell Joshua’s skin.

You wonder how long you’ll have to wait for him, but as you look up at the sky, you have your answer.

Something speaks to you when you return to 77. Mr. Park is still gruff and cranky but you swear you see the peek-a-boo of a smile on his lips when you walk in. Jihoon’s there too, he greets you regularly.

And of course there’s Seokmin who is hugging you so tight, it reminds you that he is a full grown man and not a child trapped in a large body. You think he almost cries when he laughs with you about how he almost killed the yarrows again (but he brought them back to life! Trust!), and then he beams and tells you that you gotta check out Sol Invictus.

It’s beautiful.

Bright hyacinths that line from east to west and your heart is happy because Seokmin told you he’d get everyone to finish planting them and he did. The purple petals let wind whistle through its stems and leaves, the rustling echoing off the walls of the castle that surround Sol Invictus.

The water of Eridenus gleams under the sun, the stone of your pathways glows brightly, and as your eyes flicker around, you notice something new. In each corner field of Sol Invictus, sits a medium sized sculpture, each of a pegasus but all slightly different in pose and manner.

And then you see him, his back facing you, standing in front of one of the statues that sits in one of the fields on the west end.

Walk the line.

Tracing the pathways—your pathway—from East to West with your shoes clacking their short heels against the tiles—you know he can hear you, but still, he doesn’t move. His hands are neatly holding each other behind his back as his neck tilts slightly upward to stare up at the pegasus.

“Aethon, Aeos, Pyrois, and Phlegon,” Joshua says when you finally stop next to him, shoulders barely brushing against each other. “This one is Pyrois.”

“Helios’ pegasi,” you murmur, glossing over the fine details and intricacies of the statue.

“I thought you might like them.”

You don’t say anything for a moment and grin, watching his eyes light up from the corner of your vision. “I love them.”

“Thank god. You were taking so long to respond, I thought you were going to yell at me for fucking up Sol Invictus.”

You laugh and shake your head, both of you shuffling as you face each other.

“Hi,” you say so lightly it comes out as a breathy laugh when you both finally look each other in the eye.

“Sunshine.” Joshua smiles, holding out his hand. The light is warm when it hits your skin, and Joshua’s dark hair glints a light brown under the beams. You take his hand and run your fingers over the calluses of his palm; his skin is warm when his fingers grasp around yours and as you look at his eyes, you feel it in your bones.

This is Joshua, this is Joshua, and every path you follow will always lead you back to him.

a/n. aaah it's done! as per em's request, i will be posting a one-shot of these two and their lives in the future bc i feel like i robbed u guys of a possibly fluffier ending so keep an eye out for that ... anyways, i hope u enjoyed, comments / reblogs would mean the world to me and >_< thank u for reading!

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